#that's what hurts most and triggers said spiral | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shoccolatine · 9 months ago

Note

Do you feel comfortable with writing stuff about mental health issues. Like, MC being depressed due to a mission going wrong or something similar and hiding it from Zayne while they spiral deeper into it until he catches them doing something bad - like idk, self-harm, looking up suicide methods, something like that. Gender neutral reader would be great <3

If you don't want to write this for any reason, feel free to ignore my ask :)

mission failure.

⚘pairing: zayne x gn!reader

⚘summary: after one too many failed missions, you reach a breaking point. zayne comes to your aid. ⚘tags: sfw, 2nd person POV, gender neutral reader, mental health issues, self-esteem issues, depression, suicidal thoughts, non-descriptive/implied self-harm, mild descriptions of morbid thoughts, hurt/comfort, angst ⚘word count: 2k ⚘a/n: thank you so much for your request, i hope i did it justice! this was a very interesting write and i enjoyed it a lot. i tried to be as delicate and vague with the s/h descriptions as i could so as not to trigger anyone, but this fic still deals with sensitive content so please be safe and take care of yourself! much love 💜

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

This was it. You just couldn’t do anything right.

Another hunting mission had gone poorly. The third in a row, now. They do say all good things come in threes, but could the same be said of misfortune? It certainly seemed so. The first two mission failures had been played off as flukes, but this time…

You made the long trek back to Headquarters with the weight of a tail dragging between your legs, bearing a few cuts and bruises to show for it. Beside you was Tara, who was not quite so worse for wear and, although disappointed, didn’t quite seem to share the same sentiment as you. After all, she hadn’t been the one to let the Wanderer get away. Again.

“Hey, don’t look so down!” she says, in her usual cheerful tone. She pats your arm in an attempt to be comforting. “Can’t win ‘em all, right?”

You give her a look and a frown. “I mean, we should, shouldn’t we? It’s our job, after all.”

“No way! Those Wanderers were tough! I’m amazed we got as far into the Zone as we did!”

But we lost our main target, you thought, yet you held your tongue. There was no changing Tara’s mind once she was set on something. This mission was above her level, anyway, but with every other Hunter either stationed elsewhere or taking a well-deserved break, and Xavier being unreachable as usual, all you had was each other. It had been up to you, as the higher level Hunter, to uphold the team morale and guide you both through a successful mission. But lately, you just kept falling short. Even the most straightforward of missions went awry. Just what was happening?

The entrance doors slid closed behind you as you and Tara headed upstairs for the debrief. Your heart pounded with every step you took. Three failures in a row… Jenna was going to fire you for sure. She might as well do it now, to make space for a newer, better Hunter to take your place and finish your missions properly.

Instead, what came of your debrief was the offering of a week-long break. "Time off to clear your head and refresh," Jenna had said with hard concern, but it might as well have been an arrow to the chest. Just fire me now and get it over with, you thought. Stop wasting everyone’s time and resources and find someone else.

You didn’t need a break. You just needed to be better.

Getting better, however, came with a steep demand you placed upon yourself like a vase upon a pedestal, delicate and teetering. If Jenna wanted to give you another chance, then you would use this week to return to peak performance. You would train, and train, and train, until you were sure to succeed at every mission she threw at you. It was flawless. You’d be back at it in no time.

But as soon as you got off the train and back into your apartment, all you wanted to do was sleep.

And sleep you did. You slept until you couldn’t think of those missions anymore, and when the thoughts inevitably returned, you slept again.

“You’re not eating enough,” Zayne said during your following check-up later that week. He stated it so matter-of-factly, like he did with any other diagnosis, never looking up from his computer as he typed something. You never knew exactly what. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a break right now?”

“How do you know that?”

“Word gets around,” he said, the beginnings of a smile etched on his face. You didn't like the idea of people knowing things like that so easily. People sure do like to talk... Zayne's hazel eyes lifted from the screen and over at you. “You need to take better care of yourself. Now is as good a time as any to catch up on your body’s needs.”

“I’m fine,” you snapped. Sometimes Zayne needed to mind his own business. Wait, but he was your doctor, and one of your closest friends… What was the matter with you? You really needed to go back to bed and stop being such a nuisance.

Maybe it’d be better if you got out of his life, too.

You met his questioning expression and the heat of your response drained out of your face. At that, you decided you didn’t want to wait for a reply. Whatever he wanted to say to you with that curious expression of his, you didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t deserve to hear it. You quickly left his office and never looked back. If he called your name as the door to his office slid closed behind you, it went unheard.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

5 missed calls.

Your phone screen blares the message in your face, blinding against the darkness of your room and blurry against the tears that threatened to fall, that had already fallen, that fell and dried and fell again. Your fingers itch to reply, to call him back or send him a text, but what’s the point? He doesn’t really care. He’s probably just going to scold you for leaving your appointment halfway and being childish and not following doctor’s orders and being rude to him.

Not only have you messed up your job, you’re messing up your relationships now, too. When will you ever stop? Can’t it ever stop?

Your phone buzzes and lights up in your fingers as your ringtone sings into your sheets once more. It’s him again. Doesn’t he know when to quit? You watch his name as it waits idly on your screen. It gets tired of waiting, as it always does, and finally disappears. You sigh as another hot tear slips down your cheek.

Something new happens this time.

1 new voicemail, your phone screen reads. You start to slide the notification away, but against your better judgment, and before you can talk yourself out of it, you give in, tap the notification, and listen.

The line is silent for a moment, and part of you hopes he gave up and left you nothing.

Finally, after what sounds like a throat clearing, he speaks.

“Hey, it’s me,” Zayne’s voice comes through the speaker. It’s got that usual muffled crackly phonecall texture laid onto it, but it sounds enough like him that it feels like he’s right there with you, underneath the blankets. “Are you alright? …Listen. Whatever it was I said, I didn’t mean it. You know that. I was going to ask if you wanted to get dinner, but you left so suddenly. Call me when you’re able?”

The silence creeps in again, and you can almost hear him consider saying something more, can almost see his expression as his thoughts thunder in his brain but refuse to leave his lips, but then there’s a click, and the call ends. The robotic voicemail message drones monotonously about saving the message, and halfway through, you hang up, too.

The back of your throat clenches and burns, and you barely fight back a sob as it wrenches itself out of you. Zayne was worried about you. You made him worry. You thought he was mad, you wanted him to be mad, but he’s not. He cares about you. Why…?

You dig the heels of your palms into your eyes, as if you could push back the sting of tears that rush, hot and salty, from your bloodshot eyes. It hurts, and you start to see flashes of bright white stars under your eyelids, but it’s better than succumbing to the pain in your chest. Your heart shares a galaxy with the stars in your vision, a dying star that’s fizzling out, or maybe even being consumed by the void of a black hole. How morbidly comforting. You suddenly want to rip it out.

You wonder, just how difficult would it be to separate the Aether Core from your still-beating flesh…?

You try to shake the thoughts from your mind but they hold fast. Throwing the blankets off of your body, you leave your room hobbling like a zombie, make a beeline for the kitchen, and pull open a drawer.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It’s late at night when there’s a knock at your door. A slight rap of the knuckles. A sharp one, two. Once, then twice, and on the third knock there’s another sound, too. A rattling jingle. And it’s times like these when you curse yourself for giving Zayne the extra key to your apartment.

He calls out your name as he steps in. You barely hear him. You’re not sure if it’s because he’s far away, or speaking quietly, or if you’re just that far gone into your own thoughts that everything else around you is muted.

He might have called only once, or a dozen times, by the time he reaches your room and spots your hunched figure on your bed. He says your name again, and this time you do hear him.

You meet his gaze, steeled with concern, and immediately regret it.

He sees you, really sees you, and all at once your façade crumbles once more. He approaches the edge of your bed, and you turn your eyes anywhere but at him as you brace yourself for impact.

“What are you doing?” he asks, but he already knows the answer.

Zayne grabs your wrist. Yet, his touch is gentle—firm enough to grip you, but soft enough that you could pull away if you wanted. You don't. You’re far too tired to fight anymore. You continue to stare at the floor with teary eyes, but there is resignation hanging heavy on your shoulders, like a wet blanket. Zayne takes your silent compliance as an okay to pull you along with him down the hallway of your dimly lit apartment and into the bathroom.

He sits you down on the toilet. The light clack of the lid hitting the porcelain beneath from your sudden weight seemed to jolt you awake a bit; your eyes refocus and follow his movements as he shuffles through the medicine cabinet. He pulls out a few things and then returns to tend to his patient.

"Hand. Here," he says as he holds out his own. You offer yours, and he meets you halfway. He always does. He’s as meticulous and calm as always as he cleans, disinfects, and wraps your wounds, ever the doctor, but there’s a certain softness in his motions that you’re sure he reserves for only his most cherished patients.

Only for you.

The thought rolls a warm wave over you, the once wet blanket that had been dragging you down now fresh out of the laundry and wrapped carefully around you, cozy and hot and certain. There’s still a bit of damp spots here and there, but those will also dry in time. And you know Zayne will still be here when that time comes.

Your thoughts are broken when long fingers drag against your cheek, wiping away yet more damp spots and fanning through your shining lashes.

“You need to take better care of yourself,” Zayne says, repeating his words from earlier that day. Was that really only today? This day was lasting a lifetime. As with before, his tone holds no ice. You regret snapping at him when he was only trying to help. He must feel your tension, because he puffs a breath out through his nose just then, and the warm air tickles the hairs on your forehead. He places a kiss there, the barest brush of his lips on your skin. He pushes your hair back with long warm fingers, tucking a strand behind your ear. “If you need help with that, I’m here. Always. You need only ask.”

Later still and he’s tucking you into bed and giving your forehead another gentle kiss, making you feel like a kid again. He’s surprisingly good at that. You don't know how he does it.

Zayne follows you under the covers, and leaves you an open invitation to snuggle against him, if you wish. You gratefully accept, tucking your head under his chin as he envelops you. He’s very careful not to apply pressure to your bandaged skin.

Right before you fall asleep, he whispers a promise of breakfast tomorrow, and dinner, and whatever else comes next. A promise of staying, no matter what.

#soft zayne is best zayne #change my mind (you won't)#love and deepspace #zayne #zayne x reader #zayne lads #l&ds #l&ds x reader #fics

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spidernuggets · 7 months ago

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hiii first time requesting (if i could claim 🦚 that’d be awesome) from you!!

anyways,

jason fluff inspired by "chemtrails over the country club" by lana del rey

jason’s joker trauma triggers a destructive spiral, leading to a desperate hunt from you (gf or fiancée or gn idc honestly 🤷‍♀️) and the batfam when he goes missing. found right before he could kill the joker the batfam stops him and is freaking out and he drops to his knees and he’s just kinda numb. you’re the only one trying to comfort him and he’s pushing you away but you start reminding him of the life you two want together (queue the lines from chemtrails: “washing my hair, doing the laundry…” etc etc) and he breaks down and starts crying in your arms.

ok yes it’s a bit of a tear jerker but my brain is screaming that this needs to exist so 🥹🥹

anyways tysm for considering and i hope you have an amazing day regardless! don’t forget to eat and drink water 💋

— 🦚??

Jason Todd x Reader

Note: Really? Aren't you peacock-anon who requested feral jason todd? I'm only asking because you asked this around the same time peacock-anon reblogged feral jason todd and said they were the one who requested it. Anyways, whatever, THANKS FOR REQUESTING ME. If you're not peacock-anon, then I'm afraid you can't claim it :(( BUT ANYWAYS i hope you like the fic 🫶🫶

It was one of those nights. The nights where Jason couldn't stay still in bed, always tossing and turning. He tried, but every time he closed his eyes, he was 15 again. He was back in the dark, abandoned warehouse. He was back in the chair, tied up and unable to move. He was back with the Joker.

Beads of sweat trickled down his forhead. He felt like he was suffocating. He looked over to his side, seeing you peacefully sleeping, snuggled into his chest. God, you were so beautiful. Like a Seraphim that was gifted to him during his loneliest hours when he couldn't find a speck light in his darkness. You were his miracle. His reason for continuing to live.

He's already done too much by letting you stay with him. By letting you love him. By letting himself love you. He felt like he put you in this position; a position where you can't leave, can't be free. You're stuck in a position where you have to stay with him.

Sometimes, you wish he could see the way you see him. A beautiful figure shaped and moulded by the hands of the most exquisite and talented scluptor. A man that could love you like no other has. A man who knows how to treat you well, who knows you can be independent but can stay close to you, at the ready to save you from any danger. He will always be at your beck and call.

He shifts away from you, carefully untagling limbs and sitting up. You stirred in your sleep, hand reaching out to find your boyfriend's warmth. He shushes you, pecking your forhead.

"I'm gonna be on the couch, sweet thing," he said, barely above a whisper. You hum in response, letting your arm fall back onto the bed.

You understood that during some nights, when Jason had bad dreams, he needed to be alone. You tried to help him once, trying to wake him up as his screams were muffled as he slept. His hand accidentally made contact with your face. He didn't realise it, even when he woke up. You tried hiding the bruise with makeup, but to no avail. When he found out what he did, he couldn't talk to you. He wanted to punish himself by not speaking to the love of his life. Even when you tried to tell him it was just an accident or that ot didn't even hurt that much, he couldn't even look you in the eyes.

So soon after he started speaking again, you came to the negotiation that whenever he had night terrors, he would move to the couch. He never wants to hurt you like that again.

But even as Jason laid on the couch that night, staring at the cracked ceiling, his thoughts were running wild. A bunch of drunk men were outside laughing. But he heard the cackles of the Joker. A stray cat knocks over a trash can by the alley of their apartment. But he hears the clink of the crowbar.

His heart races, and his pupils contracted. His breathing is uneven. His mind runs to Bruce. Why didn't he kill the Joker? Why is he still alive? Why is he locked up, only for him to break out again? Where was his justice?

He sits up, looking around the dark room. His eyes move to his hands that were resting on his lap. He promised. He promised not to make any lethal decisions as his role of Red Hood. But the Joker is still out there. He's definitely not in Arkham. Arkham Asylum couldn't keep the Joker in captivity even if it had the best security.

He wanted these dreams to stop. He wanted to stop waking up in the middle of the night, worried that a stupid faced clown was going to break in and hurt you. He wanted to stop waking up in the middle of the night and leave your hold just to sleep on the couch. He wanted to stop waking up in the middle of the night because it was worrying you.

Jason grunts, figuring there was only one way to end this. One way for him to finally feel better and to stay in your arms without hurting you again. Jason stands from the couch, putting his shoes on, and sprinting as fast as he can to his nearest safe house where all his gear is.

You stretch as the morning sun burns your eyes. You look around to see Jason isn't beside you.

"Oh right, he's on the couch," you mutter to yourself. You thought breakfast for him would he nice. A nice wake up to a horrible sleep.

But upon entering the living room, the couch was empty. In fact, there was no 6 foot, 200 pound boyfriend to be seen anywhere. You looked all over the apartment.

That's weird. Jason would've at least left a note or a text. You go back into your room, grab your phone, and scroll to Jason's contact name. But as it rang, you heard another ringtone in the distance.

Your eyebrows scrunch together as you walk out of your room, trying to find where the ringtone was coming from. It led you back to the living room, Jason's phone ringing under a pile of blankets.

You can hear your heartbeat in your head. Jason never left his phone. Starting to panic, you dial Dick's number as he answered within three rings.

"Hey, Y/-"

"Dick! I- Jason's not home! He- he went to sleep on the couch last night - I.. Nightmares! He left his phone.. no note! Gone!" You could hardly form a proper sentence. Your fingers pull against your hair, and you hyperventilate. Dick tries to calm you down.

"Hey, hey. Y/n, don't worry! We'll help you find him, okay? I'll round up the other bats and birds, and we'll look for him. He's going to be okay, okay?" He gently says from the other line.

You take a deep breath. "Yeah.. yeah okay," your voice shakes.

You start your own hunt for him as the Bat Family gear up. The first place you look at is at Jason's closest safe house. Going in, you see that a few pistols are gone from his wall. You run to where he stored his armour, but that's gone, too. You call Dick again.

"Dick! His guns, armour- He's out as Red Hood," you worry more. It's broad daylight, Jason shouldn't be out in his uniform.

Dick says, "Got it," before informing Batman that Jason is out as Red Hood. He then tells you to stay put, and that Oracle will update you when she tracks Jason's location.

You pace around the safe house, anxiously waiting for Oracle's call. You couldn't think of a reason why Jason would be out and why he wouldn't tell you. Jason tells you everything!

Then your phone rings.

It barely rang once before you answered it.

"He's in the warehouse." Is all Oracle said before you booted out the door. You didn't even need the address or specific whereabouts of the warehouse. You knew which one she was talking about. The one Jason died in.

Surprisingly, you showed up at the same time as everyone else.

You all rush inside, checking all the rooms. You were the first one to enter the room. And low and behold, the Joker in the centre, tied up in a chair, just as Jason was a couple of years ago, as Jason stood a couold feet away, a pistol pointed in front of him.

You couldn't tell if everything was sped up or in slow motion. But you screamed Jason's name. It's followed by a loud bang, then a couple of grunts and thuds.

As your vision focuses, there's smoke flowing out of Jason's gun, a hole in the wall where the bullet, and the sounds of the Joker's maniacal laughter as he's been tackled to the floor by Dick and Bruce.

You hear a mutter of 'no's. Your attention turns to Jason. His head is shaking, and his lip is trembling. You notice lis legs wobbling, and you lunge forward to hold him as he falls to his knees.

An echo of choked sobs is heard from Jason as he drops his gun and digs his palm into his eyes while he cries.

"Fuck! Why- Why did you do that?! He- He should be dead!" He tried to yell, but came out as cracked whimpers.

"Sh, sh, I know, sweetie, I know," you whisper to him, running your hands through his hair, just as he loved it.

Jason carries on. "He.. he killed me! He took me away from Bruce... he's gonna take me away from you.."

Your heart shattered. You wish and pray that there was more you could do to help him.

"No, no, no. Don't say that, baby, he's not. You hear me? He's not gonna take you away from me," Jason leaned himself into your comfort further, grounding himself. Reminding himself that you're with him. From the corner of your eye, you see Tim and Steph walking up to the two of you, but you lightly shake your head, a silent plea, asking them to leave you be. Damian walks up behind them, tugging on their capes, respecting your request.

Jason tries to shove you off him. But he's too tired. So he tries ti speak instead.

"Get away," he weakly says. "Get away! I'm - You shouldn't be near me," his voice cracks. "He's gonna come back! He's gonna hurt you! I- I'm gonna hurt you..."

"Hey, Jay," you quietly call out, pulling him closer to you. Jason sniffles against your chest. "Remember that time you got a little drunk? I had to help give you a bath?" Jason doesn't reply. But he remembers. He remembers your delicate fingertips massaging his scalp. It felt nice. He wanted to be in that moment again. "Remember what we talked about? How hopefully Gotham's brutality dies down, and we can run away together? We said we'd own our own house. A small one, like a cottage. You'd be cooking one of Alfred's lovely dishes while I'd hang the laundry out in our garden. We'd have movie nights, eating junk food while crying to the Notebook. And.. You even admitted wanting your own kids. Remember that, Jay?" Your fingers caress his scarred cheek. Your lips hovered over his white streak.

You heard a sound coming from Jason. Like he was trying to speak. "Yeah. Two girls. Two... so neither of them would be lonely..."

You smiled, tears stinging your own eyes. "Yeah.. Jason, nothing bad is going to happen to us. We're going to have the life we want. Nothing is going to stop us. Not even that monster. I won't let it happen. You do such a good job protecting me. But you need to remember that you're safe with me too, okay?" You said to him.

In response, Jason breaks down into more tears once again, clinging on to you tighter. "I love you," he sniffles. "Don't wanna lose you."

By this time, you're now crying yourself. "I love you too, my sweet boy," you kissed his head. "You're never going to lose me. I'm right here." Your hand intertwines with his.

The two of you are wrapped in each other's safety and warmth. Jason is mever going to stop about the horrible possibilities that could occur if you continue to stay with him. He thinks he's selfish for not doing more to let you go. But you're like a magnet. Somehow, through all that loathing he feels for himself, you're always going to find your way through the midst of hatred. You're always going to be there to hold his hand and give him the love that he never believed that he deserves. You're always going to show him that loving him isn't a sin.

Hopfully, this reached your expectations, anon 🥲🥲 But it was a lot of fun to write!! ALSO sorry if this seems short and rushed, I'm really trying to get everyone's requests out 😭😭

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danoslvrr · 6 months ago

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“kiddo” dad!james kelly x child!reader

-‘๑’- james takes you in as his adopted child.

-‘๑’- warnings ; hurt comfort, reader is a teenager, coping skills, suicide mention, reader has a mental breakdown, james calms reader down, james being a good dad, fluff, fear of abandonment, pet names.

╰┈➤ you sob into the pillow, your body trembling, your eyes squeezed shut as you attempt to stop the flow of tears. you had yelled at james, your adopted dad, ranting about how he’d abandon you just like your bio parents had, how nobody would ever love you.

of course, this wasn’t true. james loved you as if you were his own, he had known you for most of your life after all. he worried about you, more than anyone else had. he was terrified for you the day you had attempted to take your life because you were worried james would leave you just like your bio parents.

you had your good moments of course. the trauma was still present, but for the most part, you were happy with james. the fear and anxiety still lingered in the back of your mind, the fear of abandonment, but it wasn’t as prevalent.

you and james had gone to the mall earlier, and all of the loud noises and people had stressed you out. for a moment, you had accidentally let go of james’ hand and for about 5 minutes you had lost him. this is what had triggered your breakdown, sending you spiraling so when you got home, you had freaked out completely on james.

now, you were in your room, sobbing still, even though about 10 minutes had passed. james figured he’d let you calm down and in about 5 minutes you would come back out of your cozy space. that wasn’t the case though, and he was beginning to worry.

you heard a knock at the door followed by james’ voice, gentle and soft as ever. “sweetheart?” he asked, not wanting to enter until you gave him the okay. when you didn’t answer, just let out a choked sob, he opened the door and entered the room.

the sight of you crying broke james’ heart into a billion pieces, frowning as he walked over to sit on the bed beside you. “kiddo,” he whispered. “look at me.” his voice was firm, loud enough that you could hear him from where your face was buried in the pillow, but not loud enough to startle you.

he placed a hand on your back hesitantly, prepared to remove it if you asked. you didn’t, and so he softly ran his hand up and down your back in a desperate attempt to soothe you. he sighed. “sweetheart, ‘m not mad at you,” he spoke softly, giving you a weak smile as you finally lifted your head to look up at him.

“you- you’re not?” you asked, sniffling and wiping your eyes. “no, angel.” he said, smiling at you. “why would i be mad at you, kiddo?” he asked genuinely, a soft look of confusion adorning his tan face. his tattooed hand continued to run up and down your back, but stopped when you flipped over, holding a plushie close to your chest, sniffling still as the tears began to stop.

“i- i freaked out on you and i said you’d abandon me, and it wasn’t okay, and i’m so sorry dad, i’m so, so sorry.” you said quickly, rushing through your words. “hey, sweetheart, it’s okay. i get it. you’ve been through a lot. more than i could imagine, y’know that? it hurts me to see you this way. you’re my kid, and i love you, and i don’t want you to ever think that i’d abandon you. because i won’t.” he whispered, gently petting your hair, soothing your mind.

you closed your eyes, the tears coming to a stop, melting into his hands. he reached down and cupped your cheek, forcing you to look at him. “i love you, okay? and i’m not gonna ever leave you, sweetheart.” he said, smiling at you. you wiped your eyes and nodded. “ok, dad. ‘m sorry.” “don’t be sorry kid. let’s go watch a movie, yeah sweetheart? anything you want.”

“ok, dad.”

#james kelly #dad!james kelly #anakin skywalker #hayden christensen #american heist #dad!james #james kelly x reader #james kelly x platonic!reader

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piratecaptainscaptainpirates · 11 months ago

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I keep coming back to one question: does Izzy know how cruel he's been to Ed?

In s1e3-s1e4, we're shown that Izzy has made a habit out of controlling Ed's perception of situations, demeaning and insulting him to the crew and monitoring his social interactions to isolate him from everyone except Izzy himself, and insulting Ed to his face in order to make him think he needs Izzy around. Ed is clearly desperate for human connection, but Izzy shuts down any topic that isn't an Izzy-Approved Blackbeard Topic, not letting him talk to him about what he's excited about. Izzy is frequently shown lying to Ed in order to get what he wants out of a situation. His behavior is manipulative and controlling from the start, and it only gets worse once Stede enters Ed's life and Izzy tries to pressure Ed into killing him, going as far as to attempt to kill Stede in front of Ed after Ed's told him explicitly to back off. If we're being charitable, we can say Izzy doesn't know how much pain he's causing Ed because he's too focused on trying to "protect" his lifestyle and control Ed's behaviors, so he never really thinks much about Ed's feelings - but, even then, he says in s1e6 he knows Ed "adores" Stede, so he has to know how much killing him will hurt Ed!

And in s1e10, the way he talks to Ed genuinely still gives me goosebumps. He tells Ed he's better off dead than behaving the way he is, painting his nails and writing songs and telling everyone to call him Ed. Izzy goads Ed into reacting with violence by refusing to back down and continuing to mock and berate him, and reacts with glee when Ed chokes him, laughing at Ed's horror once he gets him to respond with violence.

As Izzy himself tells us on his deathbed, the reason for this behavior is clear: he felt like he needed Blackbeard. But how much did he understand what he was doing?

Given how Izzy tends to shut Ed down when he's talking about topics Izzy doesn't think are important, I like to hope Izzy doesn't actually know Ed very well at all. I like this interpretation becasue it makes it a lot easier for his s2 arc to sit well with me.

Because if Izzy really understands how much violence is a trigger for Ed, then his actions in s1e10 move from simply cruel to downright despicable. He would be actively using Ed's trauma response to get what he wants. Izzy's behavior is manipulative, but I like to think he doesn't understand how deeply he's really hurting Ed, because that makes it easier to stomach.

I think it's clear that, even on his deathbed, Izzy doesn't seem to really get it. He admits he's been awful to Ed, saying he "fed your darkness." But he's spent the whole season understating his role in triggering Ed's self-destructive spiral and misunderstanding what caused some of Ed's reactions (like saying Ed shot him because Izzy said he loved him, which is just not what happened).

Izzy says he understands Ed, and I think we're meant to understand he doesn't know jackshit about Ed. Even if Izzy really meant to do everything he did out of "love" for Ed, it wasn't about wanting Ed to be happy, it was about controlling him.

Izzy is, I think, at his most sympathetic when he has absolutely zero emotional awareness. I find his s2 arc much easier to be satisfied with when I assume Izzy still has no idea how much he hurt Ed, because although that still sucks and it makes Izzy seem like a controlling, abusive parent who wanted to ""protect"" Ed and deeply hurt him in the process, it at least doesn't mean Izzy knowingly and willingly took advantage of Ed's trauma when he was in a deeply vulnerable place. It's a lot easier to sympathize with Izzy when you assume he knows as little about Ed as it's possible for him to.

#ofmd #our flag means death #izzy critical #i really like izzy as a character but i am so glad ed will never have to talk to him again frankly. go heal babygirl

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kingmagnificoofrosas · 9 months ago

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They love you - they would do anything for you!

Words mean nothing if there's no action to prove them true!

The whole statement from the "evil book" - mind you- "bound for all eternity, nothing can break or bind the evil" is a capital B big fat lie!

A dear anon has already mentioned this before here on my blog through an ask. The gullibility of Amaya and the rest of the people of rosas almost hurts. Of course an evil book would tell you there is no way to get out of the dark!

Disney isn't the first and only one who has been spreading the message of "True love breaks evey curse and true love overcomes all. And darkness can never be greater than the light."

From the christian perspective, it's more than clear that everything said by the evil book isn't trustworthy as far as salvation goes! Evil isn't stronger than the good and never will be!

It's also intersting to note that the evil force (green evil magic) is potrayed as this shadow entity 👇🏼

Also, why trust the words of something that literally does nothing but evil and harm?

Even if we look at the whole Magnifico situation purely objectively, like my cousins daughter, not through the lense of faith and leaving the knowledge of trauma aside, the "He's a villain now and can't be saved" is utter nonsense!

The first half of the movie we are told and shown Magnifico's true intentions. His ambitions and desires. We saw him being genuine all the way. He's always been honest and kind. He never lied, played or manipultated anyone and even further explained multiple times how he feels and why he does what he does. And then we are shown "the book" the big bad thing that will defenitly do harm and take posession of Magnifico should he use it!

That's the information! If Magnifico uses the book, he will be "controlled" by the evil from this book! This is what even Amaya said! Plain and clear.

Also, geeky side fact to the orgins of the book : Magnifico didn't get the book himself, nor did he built the evil lair where he later on created his staff. From the art book we know that he found both the book and the evil lair during the renovations. [ He's built his castle on top of an already existing building ] That means, Magnifico didn't even go to pursue such a book. He found it and kept it. Cause we already know why - trauma rooted fear, anxiety, paranoia.

If someone is controlled/posessed by something, it's more than clear that the person isn't at fault for the actions done by the evil in them! Just look at the insane difference!

Oh yeah ... I know a posession by evil if I see one. And in this case, we had the facts served on a silver tray. It's not even a guessing game.

The only thing we can hold Magnifico accountable for is the fact he did reach for the book. But then again, we also need to consider WHY he did. Reason - his trauma! He was terrified!

If the book hadn't been there, believe me, this poor man would have had the worst mental breakdown and we would have probably found him huddled together on the ground suffering out his panic attack.

People don't understand the merry go round of thoughts a traumatized person has. And the emotions that come with it. In a situation as intense as Magnifico's we do have a domino effect. Or a wildfire-effect. One tiny spark on dry grass will eventually lead to a big fire. He was already triggered and highly stressed out, and severly traumatized people oftentimes aren't able to make the best decissions - or decissions at all.

If I think about it - if I had suffered a trauma as intense as Magnifico, already more than burdened with anxiety, fear and paranoia, and then something happens that triggers me immensely, I spend an entire night feverishly searching for an answer or solution, no sleep, no food, immense stress…. on top of that, no one in the entire kingdom that truly understands me ... Boy, I'd probably freak out and snap too.

The most support he's gotten during his spiral of misery was a pat to the shoulder. Not one single hug, no truly comforting words, a gentle stroke over his cheek, a kiss, truly loving words. That poor man got nothing!

Btw this is a quote from my cousins daughter. And she told it to my face randomly before I could even say anything! She said "You know, Magnifico isn't bad. The book is. He only wanted to protect everyone but the book made him evil. Bad book!"

And if that wasn't already enough, her younger brother watched the movie as well and then also randomly told me, "Bad book!" Furthermore - I wheezed and cried of laughter, because 1. I didn't expect this and 2. it was absolutely brilliant! - The daughter sat at the table and was drawing again, and then she told me, "The movie ... the magician and the bad book ..." The title she gave WISH! She made Magnifico the protagonist and the evil book the villain! Exactly right!

Anyway, then it happens, everyone KNOWS Magnifico is "controlled/posessed" and yet all of the sudden he himself is the evil? What??

In the past ten decades, disney had always done a fantastic job in displaying true evil and the - true love always wins - message. Even with quite recent movies such as Tangled, Frozen, Encanto etc. We've been introduced to the trauma topic and that "antagonists" can and should be saved.

I mean, I'm absolutely glad that we got Magnifico the way we got him, but I'm enraged about the toxic stance toward trauma.

If I'm looking at what disney did in the tangled series with Varian and Cassandra, who both had a short time period where they've been pushed down the "villain" road by trauma and by the hurt of not feeling valued, seen, heard or treated right and how this got resolved, I can only shake my head at what disney did in Wish.

Cassandra as much as Varian in fact- especially Cassandra- threatened the whole kingdom and also strived to hurt Rapunzel more than just once.

And she wasn't directly posessed by evil but heavily manipulated and blinded by it. All her "Evil actions" were completelty on her! And Rapunzel stressed that no matter what, she'll never give up on Cassandra. Why? Because she truly loved her! Because she knew that this evil wasn't who she truly is.

Rapunzel said "Even when I look at you now, after all that's happened, no matter what we've done to each other, I still see that look in your eyes. You're my best friend, Cassandra, and I will never give up on you!"

Can you imagine what could have been if Amaya and all the citizens of Rosas would have had that attitude towards Magnifico? Truly loving him for who he is and not only seeing him as a source for favours? They all simply didn't care! If they had, they wouldn't have given up on him as quick as the snap of a finger.

So we've seen antagonists and semi-villains getting redeemed before and we've seen the "True love conquers all" more than enough, and now, especially with Magnifico, disney and some ignorant haters want to tell us that this isn't what could have happened to Magnifico too?

It's ridiculous!

And the citizens of Corona forgave both Cassandra and Varian!

Now, once more, the "book" said - nothing can bind the evil magic! Yet this is exactly what happened after the people of Rosas unified and sang! The lights glowing in their chests is actually symbolic for their hearts unifying! It was immediately stronger than the hold of the evil magic, even though the book said, it's untouchable!

The evil magic was bound, "star" was set free and Magnifico pulled into the curse realm. You cannot tell me if they all had done the same thing with the goal in their hearts to free and save Magnifico, that they wouldn't have succeeded.

#king magnifico #disney wish #wish 2023 #team magnifico #magnifico defenders #king magnifico isn't a villain

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debonairprincesposts · 9 months ago

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“A Night Without You”

Content: Kaeya x Gn! Reader. Written with fem reader in mind. The only gendered term used is “princess”.

Genre(s): Hurt/comfort, Angst(?), Kaeya whump.

Warning(s): Nightmares, (probably) panic attacks, Trouble breathing, etc. First attempt at writing a Kaeya whump. If any of the warnings above trigger you, please don’t read. Proceed with caution.

Summary: Kaeya wakes up in the middle of the night after a nightmare without you for the first time in years.

Words: 1.2k w.

Enjoy (。•̀ᴗ-)✧.

Nightmares weren't new to Kaeya. He was used to dealing with them by himself ever since that particular night. Waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, feeling his heart beating in his throat, his stomach churning with nausea, with panic welling in his chest.

He normally would nurse a glass of cold water into the early hours of the morning to try to calm himself, his mind spiraling, never at ease, not being able to bring himself to go back to sleep. Barely functioning during the day from what little sleep he did get, which wasn't much at all.

But ever since you came into his life, broke down the walls he worked so hard to build around his heart, loved and cared for him with all your being, he realized that the nightmares didn't bother him as much as they did before. Every single time he would get startled out of his sleep in the middle of the night, you would always cradle his face in your palms, dry his tears, stroke his hair with his head on your chest, and whisper sweet nothings into his ear until his heart calmed enough for him to fall back into the deep clutches of slumber.

Kaeya sighed for the nth time that evening as he made his way home. Feeling exhausted from all the extra paperwork Jean forced upon him that afternoon. He couldn't wait to get back home, and fall into your arms as you told him all about your day, the annoying people you had to deal with on an almost daily basis from the adventurers guild, or the pretty calla lilies you would randomly bring back with you because you said they reminded you of him.

Finally arriving in front of his door step, fumbling around with his keys for a bit before he eventually unlocked his door. Kaeya sighed as he entered his home. Closing the door and leaning his back on it as he closed his eyes, and took a deep breath at coming home at last. Opening his eyes, he looked around for any sign of you, but then he remembered, you weren't going to be home tonight because of something that came up with the guild. Right, they're not home, he thought as he kicked off his boots before stepping in, looking at the clock in his living room before sighing again at how late it was, 10:36, the clock read. He was walking towards his bedroom before he glanced at the kitchen for a bit, even though he hadn't had lunch that afternoon, he didn't have an appetite. The thought of food alone was making him nauseous.

He glanced away and continued his way to his bedroom, changing into a more comfortable set of clothes, he took off his eye patch as he made his way to bed. He remembered how you would always gently caress his eye before he would sleep, finding the golden hue of his eye to be the most dazzling shade of gold you've ever seen. Realizing how he was missing you greatly, he clutched your pillow to his chest, shoving his face in it to find comfort in your scent during your absence. This is fine, he thought to himself. I've slept alone before they came along, he closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. How hard can it be, he exhaled the air in his lungs as his eye lids came to a close, your scent lulling him into a deep sleep.

It wasn't until a few hours later that he started to stir in his sleep, hands twitching, breath hitching, sweat layered his forehead, brows furrowed as tears started falling down his cheeks. He jolted out of his sleep with a sob, quickly sitting up as he clutched the part of his shirt where his heart is. Tears were running down his cheeks, eyes wide in a panic as he clawed at his shirt, too tight, he thought with panic coursing through him, too hot, can't breathe! He couldn't find you, you weren't asleep next to him, you weren't present to comfort him, you just weren't there.

Did you leave him? Did you get tired of him and decided to leave without saying goodbye? He couldn't think, he could barely breathe, gasping for air while curling in on himself, he felt like he was going to throw up, not quite possible considering there's nothing in his stomach, he hadn't had dinner, or lunch for that matter. He started to sob, calling out your name as he tried to get his breathing in control, now tightly gripping your pillow to his chest, maybe your scent would calm him down as he sobbed into your pillow.

A few minutes passed as he calmed down a bit, breathing now slightly stable. He recalled his dream, you left. You didn't think he was good enough. Calling him a liar, and a waste of time before packing your bags and leaving, never looking back.

He could barely think about anything, that scene playing on repeat in his head. He wasn't sure if you really left or not. Couldn't tell dream from reality.

As he was questioning basically everything in his life, he spots something in the peripheral of his vision. It was your plushie, the one you would usually cuddle when he wasn't there with you. You left it on the nightstand, claiming that it will watch over him in your place until you got back from your trip. That's right, he released the pillow he was so tightly holding on to in favor of grabbing your blue cat plush. They're just away for a bit, he thought. He remembered when he first saw you with it, you said you'd bought it because it reminded you of him, you even bought a little eyepatch for it to match his. He smiled as he remembered how happy you were when you showed it to him. He remembered how you always greeted him with a smile whenever you caught sight of him during your commissions. He remembered how you'd always hug him tightly and kiss his cheek in greeting every time you'd come across him during the day. He remembered how you would always make sure he had the most warm delicious dinner whenever you made it home before him.

He closed his eyes and remembered every little thing you did for him out of love, without expecting anything in return, like it's second nature for you to just perform acts of service just because. It's just the way you showed your love, doing everything in your power to just make his life even if a little bit easier.

He's so grateful for all you've done for him. Carefully embracing the cat plushie close to his chest, he found solace in the fact that even in your absence, you cared enough about him to make sure that he had something of yours to keep him company.

It never occurred to him before, but after reminiscing about all the time he had with you, he found that he had never loved anyone in his life as much as he loved you. You were the best thing that happened to him. He didn't know what he'd do if you decided to leave. So for now, he would treasure every little moment, whether big or small.

Lying back down, he closed his eyes, hugging the plush, and fell back to sleep to the thought of you. He slept peacefully for the rest of the night. He might be a knight, but you're his princess in dazzling armor.

Help support your favorite author by buying them a ko-fi! ଘ(´｡•᎑•`)っ 💕

#genshin hurt/comfort #kaeya alberich #kaeya x reader #genshin impact kaeya #kaeya x you #kaeya whump #genshin kaeya #kaeya hurt/comfort #genshin x you #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #genshin impact #gn reader #gender neutral reader #x reader #fem reader #male reader #reader insert

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thenerdykneazle · 1 year ago

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Fast Asleep

Summary: Sebastian finds himself unable to resist his curiosity when late nights fighting baddies cause the two of you to repeatedly spend the night in the Room of Requirement together. He justifies his actions at first - as he does best - but he quickly spirals out of control.

Sebastian Sallow x F!MC

Second person but Seb's perspective

Word count: 9856

Warnings: 18+, sexually explicit content, aged-up characters, non-consensual somnophilia, dead dove, loss of virginity / first time

Seriously, this is the most unhinged thing I've ever written. Please take care of yourself and do not read if it will trigger you or you're uncomfortable with the subject matter. This is a far cry from my last few fluffy pieces.

It had started innocently enough. It was out of necessity, after all, that you were in the situation to begin with. He hadn’t planned or manipulated anything. But Sebastian was not one to pass up an opportunity when it was so perfectly presented to him.

Truthfully, the first time Sebastian slept with you was totally innocent. It was just sleeping. You’d been out adventuring far too late and rather than risk getting caught wandering the halls, you flooed directly into the Room of Requirement, which had produced a bedroom with a set of twin beds. You each slept in your own until you awoke screaming. You’d had a nightmare about one of the poachers that you’d just faced hitting Sebastian with a killing curse rather than the near-miss that had happened in real life.

You were screaming his name, and no one would sleep through that. Sebastian had awoken with a start and immediately rushed to you, asking what was wrong and if you were hurt. You told him about your dream. He sat on the edge of your bed and just held you. You couldn’t bear not being able to confirm that he was okay, so you asked him to bring his bed next to yours. He levitated it over, and you watched him for nearly an hour before you were able to fall asleep again.

The next time late-night adventuring brought you both to the Room of Requirement, Sebastian had to support you as you limped along. You’d taken several hard hits in the spider den, and you’d both run out of wiggenwelds. He sat you on the nearest chair before grabbing an extra phial of the green liquid from your cabinet.

“I still think you should go to Nurse Blainey,” Sebastian said gravely.

You waved him off. “I’m fine,” you insisted. You could feel your deep-set bruises fading already.

“It’s not worth the risk,” he argued firmly.

You rolled your eyes. “I’ll go in the morning. I’m tired,” you said, aiming for a compromise like you always did.

“You could be bleeding internally. You could die in your sleep!” Sebastian said, trying not too sound too panicked. He knew his eyes betrayed just how scared he was. “I can’t let something bad happen to you.”

You sighed, which frustrated him because he knew you were going to keep arguing. “I can tell it’s not that serious. I just want to sleep, Seb,” you said pleadingly.

Sebastian’s jaw tensed. He had a very, very difficult time saying no to you. He agreed to let you sleep under the condition that he could check on you every hour. You agreed, and you went to your respective beds. You fell asleep quickly, but Sebastian couldn’t. He was too worried. He watched you sleep – or tried to, but the room was dim, and it was hard to see if you were breathing.

After twenty minutes, he got up and padded his bare feet across the room until he stood beside your bed. He could hear and see your soft breathing as he knelt by your bed. “MC?” he whispered.

No response.

“MC?” he called louder.

You groaned and stirred. “Bash?” you replied, barely lifting your head as you squinted up at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I…I just wanted to be sure you’re all right,” he said.

You nuzzled back into your pillow. “Mhmm, just sleeping,” you replied groggily.

“Not dizzy or having headaches, right?” he inquired anxiously.

“No, just tired. Go back to bed,” you said.

So, he did. For another twenty minutes. Then, he got up again and walked back over to convince himself you were still breathing. He had no idea what he’d do if he let something bad happen to you. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself. He already felt guilty that you’d gotten injured so many times that night. There were just so many spiders.

The creaking of the floor woke you up before Sebastian even reached you.

“What time is it?” you grumbled, clearly irritated at being awoken again.

Sebastian checked. “Half one,” he replied.

You groaned and rolled over, away from him. “Go to sleep, Bash,” you groused.

“I’m just worried,” he said, trying to get you to understand. “I have this awful feeling that something’s wrong. Like I’m gonna check and you won’t be breathing.”

You huffed and turned over again. You lifted your blanket up. “Get in,” you ordered.

Sebastian blinked at you. “What?” he asked.

“Get in,” you repeated more harshly. “If you wake me up again, I’ll hex you. You can keep an eye on me from here. Now, hurry up. I want to sleep.”

Sebastian didn’t wait to be told again. He slipped under your covers. You turned onto your right side again, facing away from him and toward the wall. You reached back and grabbed his hand. He blushed, and he was very glad your back was to him. He squeezed your fingers in his, relishing their warmth.

You brought his hand to a spot high on your stomach. “Here. You can feel me breathing,” you stated. “Good night.”

You left his hand on your stomach and tucked your own under your head.

Sebastian briefly felt very silly for thinking you were just trying to hold his hand. He found it hard for his mood to stay depressed as he lay so close to you, though. He focused on the feeling of your breaths as they deepened, evening out as you drifted off. He nuzzled into your neck, where he could feel your pulse. He left the rest of his body disconnected from yours.

At some point, he succumbed to sleep, as well. He woke up still in the dark to the rather startling sound of you retching. You were leaned over the far side of the bed. Sebastian grabbed his wand, vanished your sick, and conjured a bucket in record time. He held your hair and rubbed your back as you panted after seemingly ejecting all of your organs.

“I think I have a concussion,” you said weakly.

“We’re going to Nurse Blainey,” he stated firmly.

You just nodded. You couldn’t tolerate the thought of going by floo, so Sebastian had to walk you to the infirmary. You vomited several times on the way.

After that, Sebastian always slept in your bed when you stayed in the Room of Requirement. Insisting you were fine despite being concussed lost you your credibility with him. He was always worried you were injured without realising it. The next three stays, you fell asleep side-by-side with Sebastian’s hand on your stomach and face pressed into your neck. He realised you had a very high heart rate for someone so active, though it would always slow after you fell asleep. He supposed it took a while for the adrenaline to wear off after one of your escapades. So, he stopped worrying quite so much about it.

But lying in bed next to you was a comfort and a torture. He could convince himself you were fine, which was a relief. On the other hand, your heat sank into his skin and the scent of your shampoo filled his nose, which drove him crazy. He made a fatal error during the fourth time he slept next to you when he opened his eyes. He had just meant to look to see his hand rising and falling with your breathing, because he stopped being sure he really felt it. He might have been imagining the sensations and sounds that he expected, but he didn’t think his mind could conjure the sight of it. So, he checked.

Well, he intended to. But his first view upon opening his eyes was down the front of your nightgown. He knew it wasn’t his fault that he saw your cleavage pressed together through the gap at your loose collar. But he also knew he couldn’t claim innocence when he immediately brushed away a lock of hair that had partially obstructed his view.

Sebastian bit his lip as he continued to stare at the smooth skin of your breasts. He’d never seen a woman’s bare curves from so close before. Hogwarts uniforms didn’t exactly feature brazen displays of décolletage – or even hint at it. He’d only had the odd distant glimpse of the more progressively dressed women in Hogsmeade.

As he took in every detail of the exposed region of your chest, he began to feel that he was being rather invasive. He thought that he probably ought to look away. On the other hand, he could tell by your breasts’ slight rise and fall that you were definitely still breathing. Would it be wrong of him to make sure you didn’t stop? That was the whole point of him sleeping next to you, after all.

So, Sebastian kept his gaze – in the interest of health and safety. The longer her looked, though, the more his fingers itched to touch, as well. Your breasts looked so full and soft. He wondered if he could fit each fully in his hand. He wasn’t sure, but his fingers were quite long. His fingers on your stomach fanned and stretched as he thought about it. He shouldn’t. He couldn’t. To touch you without permission…You’d be furious.

Though, you’d never know, he reasoned. So, how could you be upset? You were more likely to be angered by him asking to touch you when you were awake. Really, it would be better for you if he sated himself while you were unconscious. He was now desperate to find out what you felt like – he had to know. So, there were only two options: offend you or keep a secret. So, really, there was only one option.

Heart thundering in his chest, Sebastian slowly slid his left hand up your stomach, dragging the cotton nightgown up a bit with it. He moved just a few centimetres, then stopped. He watched and listened. There was no change. He slowly released the breath he’d been holding. After a few more seconds, when he was sure you were still fast asleep, he slid his hand a bit higher. He tucked his hand just under your breasts and froze again. He got just a taste of the weight of them, and his cock twitched in his pyjamas.

He could barely hear your soft, rhythmic breaths over the blood rushing in his ears.

He carefully lifted his thumb, stroking between your breasts over your nightgown. The quietest moan escaped Sebastian’s lips, but you slept on, undisturbed. He wanted urgently to fill his palm with your perfectly formed flesh, but he forced himself to move slowly. He stroked the inside of your right breast with his thumb, squeezing it lightly with his index finger still underneath it. It was Heaven.

Emboldened by your heavy sleep, he brought his fingers up over the pillowy mound and flexed them into it. He was practically panting now. His cock was hard and straining against the confines of his garments, trying to reach out to you – begging for Sebastian to press his hips forward and rut them against your backside. He resisted the urge to comply.

Instead, he circled the pads of his fingers on your flesh until his felt your nipple poke through the thin nightgown. You were asleep – totally unaware – but your body responded to him, anyway. Sebastian groaned at the feeling of the pebbled tip under his fingers. It was too loud.

He froze in fear, not even able to pull his incriminating hand off your breast. He was done for. You’d murder him for this. He knew you would. Worse, you’d never speak to him again.

But you slept on. Your breathing hadn’t changed at all.

Sebastian needed to stop. He knew he did. He’d already pushed his luck too far. But the need to feel your other breast as well overpowered anything else. He cupped your left breast in his hand, lightly dragging his thumb over it so that your nipple hardened to his touch.

Fuck.

Feeling your body become aroused to his touch was intoxicating. His dick was throbbing for attention. But just feeling you wasn’t enough. Just like with your breathing. He needed to see you. Gods, it was so wrong. He knew it was. But he had to.

Sebastian gripped the neck of your nightgown. He hesitated. Was he really going through with this? It was a violation of your privacy. Of your trust. You felt safe sleeping next to him.

Fuck. He couldn’t do that to you.

But he so desperately wanted to see you. Find out what colour your nipples were. The size of your areolas. He wanted to know every detail. Maybe even taste you.

He brought his right hand to cup himself over his trousers. He squeezed his shaft with a punishing grip, trying to get even a small bit of relief from his aching cock.

He still had his fist clenched around the collar of your nightgown. He should’ve let go. He’d meant to – the moment he decided not to look, he’d meant to let go. He tugged the collar down just a bit as he was focused on his right hand touching himself. It was on accident, probably. Definitely. He hadn’t meant to. But now the backs of his fingers were pressed into the top of your breast. It was so soft, and a new wave of desire swallowed him. He just had to see you and feel your skin on his own. Gods, he needed it.

He pulled the fabric down further until your left breast was completely exposed. He teased your nipple before palming your breast. He had to stretch his fingers out wide to envelop it. He could just barely fit the whole thing in his hand. An exact fit. Like you were made for him.

“Fuck, MC,” he hissed.

He hadn’t meant to say it out loud. You stirred a bit as an unintelligible noise left your lips. Sebastian quickly righted your nightgown before returning his hand to your stomach. His heart was beating out of his chest, pounding against his ribs as it tried to break through them.

Were you awake? Had you noticed what he’d done?

You shifted slightly, and then you were still. Your rhythmic breathing returned.

It was a very close call.

Sebastian thought he should pop out and take care of his…current state…before he did something else stupid and woke you for real. But he was nervous to leave you alone. He was still genuinely afraid something bad was going to happen to you. So, he stayed. He just lay there and suffered through the aching desire that had consumed him until his body finally calmed down.

He woke up the next morning extremely hard – way worse than the usual morning wood. It took a good bit of finesse to keep you from noticing. But that was the only evidence of his misdeeds the prior night. After you parted ways, he successfully made it back to his dorm without anyone noticing his…predicament. Once alone, he was quick to close himself in his bed for a wank. It wasn’t the first time he’d touched himself to thoughts of you, but it was the first time his imaginings were more memory than pure fantasy.

The next time he slept next to you in the Room of Requirement, he was hard before you even fell asleep. You rehashed your raid of the goblin camp before really settling down for bed. Sebastian decided he quite liked lying in bed and talking with you. He might like to do it forever. Aside from the anxiety of all the injuries you might have, he vastly preferred sleeping with you in the Room of Requirement to his dorm. And not just because of his new discovery of just how fantastic your tits were.

Though, speaking of them, he was quite eager to say hello. He couldn’t stop thinking of them since he’d gotten to see and feel them a few days ago. He was distracted in every single class the two of you shared, especially potions that day. All class he had watched you as you leaned over your cauldron, your robe off and tie loose. The steam from your cauldron brought a rosy flush to your cheeks – not to mention what it did to your hair. He imagined it was the sort of dishevelled look you’d have after being freshly fucked in the potions supply room. It had him running to the nearest broom cupboard to take care of himself as soon as Sharp had dismissed you all.

Sebastian waited for fifteen agonising minutes after you’d fallen asleep before he dared to move. He’d stop at tucking his hand under your breasts. He just wanted to be close to them again. He wouldn’t be as risky as last time. Or as invasive.

As soon as his hand was under your breasts, his thumb automatically tucked up between them. It was basically a reflex. But that would be as far as he went. Just stroking his thumb between your breasts.

But as he stroked the inside of your right breast again, he realised how lonely it seemed without your arm tucked under it this time. So, he held it for you. He brought his thumb down underneath your gown’s neckline and let out a little whimper as he grazed over your hardened nipple – skin-to-skin.

Not wanting to be unfair, he pulled your gown aside to take out your left breast and palmed it, too. After all, he loved them equally.

He marvelled at how perfectly you fit in his hand. He thought he might’ve imagined it last time, swept up in seeing tits – your tits, no less – for the first time. He bit back a moan as he massaged the flesh. He couldn’t stand how beautiful you were. Every inch of you. It really wasn’t fair. How was he supposed to stay away?

Sebastian carefully raised himself up on his right elbow, doing his best not to shift the bed under you. He needed a better look. Nuzzled into your neck kept him close to your breasts, but he wanted to take in the whole of them. He adjusted the gown so it was pulled down beneath both breasts.

And Gods, they were gorgeous.

He ran his left hand over them, going back and forth to give them equal attention. They were so soft. So pretty. So responsive. Just perfect. He cupped his hand under your left breast. Before he even realised what he was doing, his head had dipped down and his tongue was against your nipple. He licked languid stripes up and down before sucking the bud into his mouth.

You let out a soft sigh.

Sebastian released you with a pop. He just hovered, your breast still in his hand and his mouth centimetres from your wet nipple.

You didn’t stir further.

Unable to resist, he latched back onto your nipple. He kept suckling until you let out a breathy moan. He fixed your gown and moved his hand back down in a fraction of a second. As you shifted, he could tell you were waking up.

“MC?” he said quietly.

Your eyes fluttered open. “Bash?”

“It’s me, darling. Are you all right? You were groaning in your sleep.” He felt a knot twist in his stomach. He wasn’t sure if it was guilt from lying or anxiety that you knew exactly why you’d been ‘groaning.’

Your cheeks flushed as you looked up at him. “Oh, sorry. Just, erm, a bad dream.” You cleared your throat. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

Sebastian had to repress a grin. You wouldn’t be so embarrassed over a ‘bad dream.’ He reckoned his actions were seeping into your subconscious, making you dream about what was happening to your body. The thought made him shiver. “I’m sorry, love. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Oh, uh, n-no. That’s okay,” you said. Even in the dim light, Sebastian could see that your face was positively flaming. Bad dream, indeed.

“Okay. Just rest then, love. I’ve got you,” he said. Sebastian settled back down onto his side. He tugged you closer to his chest, wanting to comfort you on the off chance that you had actually been having a nightmare. He was careful to keep his hips a safe distance from your bum, though.

“All right,” you agreed. You relaxed into him, and it wasn’t long before you drifted off again.

As much as he wanted to test his theory, Sebastian resolved to get some sleep. No more touching tonight. Or ever. He really shouldn’t be fondling your breasts while you sleep, no matter how lonely they seem.

At least, he had resolved to stop until he nuzzled back into your neck and breathed in your scent. He smelled your shampoo, which was delicious as ever. But that wasn’t all he could smell. He could smell your arousal. Your little pussy must’ve been dripping for him while you slept.

Merlin, he wanted to dip in and feel you – feel how slick he’d made you. He had to know. Your body was practically calling to him, after all.

You shifted a bit in bed, your hips moving around slightly before settling again.

He wondered if you were feeling worked up, too. Gods, he hoped you were.

Once he was sure you were back in deep sleep, Sebastian began sneaking his hand down your stomach. He could feel the top of your knickers through your gown. He began pulling up the fabric slowly. Painfully slowly. Until your knickers were exposed. It was torture to have to control his movements so rigorously. He just wanted to be able to explore you. To ravish you like you deserved.

A terrible, tempting thought struck his mind. He could stun you. Already asleep, you’d never know. He’d be free to do whatever he liked, and you wouldn’t be able to feel any of it. He could strip you bare, runs his hands wherever he pleased, even fuck you. You’d be none the wiser. Save likely being sore after from that last one.

Sebastian was ashamed of how alluring the idea was to him. But he would never go that far. He wanted you to experience when he touched you. Your body was clearly receptive to him. On some level, you must want his touch. He was sure of it. And he certainly wanted you aware the first time he fucked you. No, not just fucked. Made love. Because he loved you. He really did. He just wasn’t sure you’d let him touch you yet the ways he wanted if you were awake. Despite all the rules you broke together, you were rather concerned with being a respectable young woman. Even if you let him, he was quite sure you’d regret it later.

Like this, he could give your body pleasure without you feeling guilty about it. And if he enjoyed the process, well, that was a secondary benefit. At least, that was what Sebastian told himself as he slipped his hand into your knickers. He traced down through the thatch of curls until he found the lips of your cunt. He cupped over you, trying to keep his breaths even as he listened to make sure you hadn’t stirred.

You were so warm down there. It was…inviting, to say the least.

He pressed his middle finger down between your lips, and he felt the hot, slick arousal that coated you. Gods, you were drenched. Sebastian bit his lip hard to hold back a moan.

Fuck, what he would give to bury himself inside you. You were so fucking wet. He bet he’d slide right in. He might even be able to slip into you before you woke up. His cock was leaking just at the thought of it.

Sebastian slid his finger slowly through your folds. He could feel your entrance, and he traced around it, feeling the contours. He swept up higher until he found the little pearl he was sure was your clitoris. Other men had trouble finding them? He couldn’t understand why. It really wasn’t that difficult.

As he slid his finger over the nub, your hips jolted, and Sebastian ripped his hand back.

You gasped as you bolted into a sitting position.

“Are you okay? Did I–I mean, are you hurt?” Sebastian asked, worried he’d injured you.

You were panting. “S-sorry, I…I mean, no. I’m fine,” you stammered.

As Sebastian tried to subtly, though regrettably, wipe your arousal from his hand, he realised the smell of sex in the air was quite obvious. You seemed to notice, too, as your cheeks were red again. You pressed your legs together.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sebastian asked guiltily.

You nodded vigorously. “Yeah, just had a…a strange dream again, is all.”

Sebastian could’ve cried with relief. He’d escaped being caught by a narrow thread twice in one night. You were convinced it was only dreams. “Anything I can do to help?” he asked, hoping irrationally that you’d say something like ‘act it out with me.’

“I’m, um, a bit warm. Maybe just some extra space between us?” you suggested.

Sebastian tried not to pout. That was the opposite of what he wanted. He agreed, though. He was just happy that by some miracle you hadn’t caught him with his hand in your knickers.

Sebastian gave you the extra space. You were able to fall asleep again fairly quickly. He struggled, though. The adrenaline of both feeling your sweet little cunt and almost being caught doing so was doing him no favours. The bigger issue, though, was no longer having his hand on your stomach to feel you breathing. He stared at the spot, watching the rise and fall. Whenever his eyes drifted shut for a few seconds, he’d jolt awake, panicked that you’d have stopped breathing. That went on for hours.

The next morning, you could tell that he was exhausted. You weaselled the less salacious half of the reason out of him. You assured him you were fine and insisted that he go get some rest in his dorm.

He did as instructed – after relieving some tension first. He lay on his bed with his right hand wrapped around his cock. There was still the faint scent of you on his left hand. His eyes rolled back as he inhaled. You were intoxicating. Addicting. He came hard as he breathed you in. Rather than sated, he just felt desperate to spend another night with you.

His chance came just two nights later. Which was good, because he was going crazy. He had to go about his days like everything was normal while the urges to bury his face, fingers, and cock between your thighs nearly overwhelmed him. He was surprised he could even fight, but it turned out to be a really good way to work out some of his mounting stress. He did drag things out a bit, though, so that the two of you arrived back at the castle after curfew.

Once in the Room of Requirement, you fetched a potion before heading to the bedroom. Sebastian didn’t recognise the purple liquid at first. “What’s that?”

“Potion for dreamless sleep,” you said. “I didn’t want to keep you up again.”

“Oh, er, are you sure?” he asked. “I mean, should you take that if you could be injured?”

“I barely took a single hit tonight. I’m fine, Seb,” you insisted.

His heart stuttered. He loved when you called him that. It was so familiar. Fond, even. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea,” he tried. He was sure that it was a bad idea, just not for reasons he cared to admit at the moment.

You rolled your eyes. “You can feel me breathe if you need convincing. But we both need sleep.”

Before he could argue further, you downed the brew.

Shit. That wasn’t good.

You transfigured your clothes into your usual nightgown and crawled in bed. Sebastian slipped in behind you. You fell asleep almost instantly.

Sebastian knew the potion made one drowsy and not have dreams. He wasn’t certain it made the drinker a heavier sleeper, though. It wasn’t like draught of living death, at any rate. He told himself you’d wake just as easily as always. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on your breathing as he forced his fidgety fingers to stay on your stomach.

But he couldn’t resist forever. He had to know if you were out.

“MC?” he whispered.

Nothing.

Then, louder, he repeated, “MC?”

Still nothing.

He shook your shoulder firmly as he called your name a third time, but you just slept on. Sebastian groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as he buried his face in your neck.

He would just go to sleep. He wouldn’t do anything. Just sleep.

He tried to get comfortable, snuggling in closer behind you. He breathed in the scent of your shampoo as he took deep, relaxing breaths. Or at least, he had hoped they’d be relaxing. They were more intoxicating than anything.

Sebastian’s lips pressed into your neck – just needing the contact. Though, it quickly turned into a tail of kisses up to a spot behind your ear. You sighed in your sleep contently. The sound went straight to Sebastian’s cock as he realised that, even with the potion, your body was still responding to him.

He held you closer with his arm around your middle. “I’ve got you, love,” he purred in your ear. “I’ll take care of you. I promise.”

He felt a pang of guilt as he considered the fact that he was meant to be keeping you safe. The whole reason he shared your bed was to make sure you weren’t hurt – not to feel you up while you slept. But, on the other hand, you seemed so relaxed by his touch. You were normally so stressed with the weight of all that you carried. He could give you relief.

You moaned as he palmed your breast over your gown, his fingers massaging into the flesh. His thumb teased your nipple. The action had a familiarity for him now like returning home at the end of the school year.

He trailed his hand back down your stomach, across your side, and over your bum. Your knee was bent up in front of you, pulling your skin and muscle taught over your backside. Sebastian traced the curve of your arse down to the back of your knee and then up again.

He grabbed a handful of the rounded flesh, kneading it roughly. He groaned at the feeling of your bum in his hand. He wanted to squeeze it, bite it, even slap it and watch the skin turn red before soothing it with his tongue.

He pressed his hips forward into you. His hard cock was welcomed by your arse, nestling in between your cheeks. Sebastian groaned at the embrace. His hips rutted against you, making more moans pour from his lips.

“Gods, you feel so fucking good, MC,” he groaned. He gripped your hip to give himself more leverage to grind against you. “Your arse is perfect, darling. All of you is so perfect.”

He pulled up your nightgown, exposing your knickers. Sebastian circled his hand around your firm bum before dipping it under the waistband of your knickers to feel your skin directly. His teeth sunk into his bottom lip. Your skin was so soft on his fingers. It was maddening, making him crave to explore every inch of you.

He slid his hand forward between your thighs where your slick arousal met him as he parted your folds. He let a loud moan slip out. “Fuck, you’re so wet for me, darling,” he breathed. “Such a good girl, even when you’re asleep.”

He stroked languidly through your folds before sliding further forward, seeking out your clit. His muscles were tensed, ready to rip his hand out of your knickers the instant you began to wake.

You moaned softly as he found and massaged the sensitive nub.

“Fuck, MC. You moan so pretty for me,” he praised. “Gods, I love you!”

You whimpered as he kept rubbing your bud with his fingers.

Sebastian quickly grew fed up with your knickers restricting him. He grabbed his wand, vanished them, and returned his hand to you instantly.

He shoved his right arm under you to wrap around your waist, holding you against his chest. He started thrusting against you again. “I want you so badly, MC,” he groaned. “Gods, I need to feel you around me. Would you like that? Having me fill your little pussy up with my cock?”

You kept whimpering as his left hand worked your clit. But he struggled to keep a rhythm with his nondominant hand. He replaced it with his right one, reaching down between your thighs from the front. He used the middle finger on his left hand to push inside of your cunt. He moaned, hips stuttering on your arse, as your plush walls gripped him.

Sebastian could hardly get his breath. “Fuck,” he groaned, unable to put together anything more eloquent as you continued to squeeze him. His mind was blissfully blank – the only salient thought in his head was how much he never wanted to stop being inside of you.

He pumped his finger in and out of you, while his other hand found a steady pace on your clit.

“I’m gonna make you come, darling,” he said. “I promised I’d take care of you. Now I will, okay?”

Still snapping his hips into your bum, Sebastian worked your cunt, building up the pleasure in your body. He could feel your soaked channel really start to squeeze him. Your whimpering grew louder, and your muscles tensed.

“That’s it, darling,” Sebastian said, gritting the words out between thrusts of his hips. His fingers moved furiously over your clit, desperate to bring you to your high. “You’re doing so good. So good, MC.”

He was in awe as you suddenly tensed fully, moaning out as your pussy spasmed around Sebastian’s finger. He was certain you would wake, but he was too enthralled to care. The sounds you made. The feeling of your body rigid and overwhelmed by his touch. Your tight cunt clamping down on him. He was in ecstasy.

Your body went limp, and Sebastian felt your aftershocks as he continued to pump his finger into you slowly, not yet willing to leave your warmth. And still, you continued to sleep.

“Sweet Salazar, that was beautiful,” he said, nuzzling into your neck. “You’re beautiful, MC.”

You whimpered once more as he slid his finger out of you. He left his right hand just resting over your cunt, cupping you protectively.

No longer enraptured by watching you come, Sebastian became painfully aware of how hard his cock was. It throbbed where it was pinned between his hips and your bum.

He ran his fingers on the inside of your thighs, gliding over the arousal that had leaked down onto them. Sebastian bit down into his lip as he drew your leg back, pressing your thighs together. He slid his hand between them. He groaned as he imagined his cock between your slick thighs instead of his fingers.

But that would be crossing a line. It was one thing to bring you pleasure as you slept. It was another thing entirely to use you for his own. But he couldn’t deny how incredible you’d feel.

He’d ripped his pyjamas and pants down while he was still debating with himself. He’d just feel your skin on his. Just once, briefly. He’d satisfy his curiosity, and then he’d go to sleep.

He moaned as he rubbed his cock between your arse cheeks. It was a feeling his hand could never compare to. Just the fact that it was you against him made it far superior, despite the lack of lubrication there. He used a charm when he got himself off, wetting his cock with an imitation of the slick coating your thighs.

Sebastian gripped the base of his shaft as he changed the angle of his hips. He’d just dip in, lubricate himself, and then have a wank. Technically, it wasn’t that different than touching your thighs with his hands – and he’d already done that.

He shuddered as he slid in between your thighs. He hadn’t realised how warm it would be. Gods, it was amazing. He was thrusting in and out before he even realised. It was necessary, though, to get enough of your juices on him. He could hardly have just done one swipe through your slick and been ready to go.

He grabbed onto your hip with his left hand. His right moved to anchor on your abdomen. He was panting as his thrusts sped up. “Fuck, you’re amazing,” he groaned. And you were. Warm, wet, and squeezing him perfectly. His eyes rolled back at the feeling.

Sebastian was hurtling toward an orgasm. Rookwood himself couldn’t stop him at that point if he resurrected and burst into the room. Sebastian’s brain was half melted as pleasure overtook his usual faculties. His only thoughts were how good you felt and how badly he needed release. “Fuck, MC! Yes! Gods, you’re gonna milk my fucking cock with these thighs!”

He came with a shout. His cum shot out in spurts, adding to the slick between your thighs and leaking out over them in front and back. Some even burst out as he was fully buried between your thighs, staining the bedsheets.

He lay boneless and draped over you as he caught his breath. Once he regained use of his limbs, he sat up and pressed kisses to your temple. He nuzzled into your skin and whispered his love for you and how good you’d been for him.

He cast a cleaning charm, removing the mixture of fluids from the bed and your skin.

Erasing the evidence.

A sharp pang of guilt struck his stomach like a bludger as he pulled his pyjamas back up.

He curled around you, holding you close. “I’m so sorry,” he muttered into your ear. “Really, I am, MC. I just needed you so badly. Just like your body needed me. But I’m sorry. So sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Sebastian woke the next morning with the guilt deep in his bones. He held your sleeping form close, hoping and praying that he hadn’t hurt you – physically or emotionally. He’d been out of control the night before. But he’d tried to stop you from taking that damned potion. Still, he’d promised himself after the Scriptorium that he’d never do anything to hurt you again. There was only one way to make sure that happened.

You stirred as sunlight from a window hit your face. You groaned and flipped around to bury your face in Sebastian’s chest, hiding from the light. He wished he could hide, too.

“MC?” he asked.

“Mm,” you replied, refusing to lift your head. You adjusted the gown you wore. It had twisted up a bit as you flipped over.

Sebastian raked your hair out of your face with his fingers, letting them linger in your locks for just a moment longer than necessary. He was savouring being close to you. You might never let him near you again. “I…I need to tell you something,” he said.

“Now?” you whinged.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. “It’s…important,” he said.

You tilted your head back to squint up at him through the bright light. “What is it?” you asked, obviously worried.

He took a deep breath. He had to tell you. He owed you that much. “I’ve been doing…things while you’ve been sleeping.”

Your brows furrowed together. “Things?” You were squinting less but still groggy, and Sebastian wasn’t making sense.

“Yes. Things I shouldn’t’ve done. I’m sorry. I really am. I just couldn’t help myself.”

“Sebastian, what on earth are you talking about?”

Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, working to force the words out. “I’ve been, erm, touching you when we sleep together.” He felt like he was going to be sick. How had he let it go so far?

To his shock, you laughed in his face. “Yeah, Bash, I know.”

You did? Why were you so calm about it? Had you liked it? Had you been awake the whole time?

His thoughts raced in the short pause before you continued, “I put your hand on my stomach, remember?”

His heart sank with the weight of even more guilt at your implicit trust of him. You couldn’t fathom he’d betray you like he had. “Not just there. Other places,” he admitted. His face flamed.

You just kept looking at him with a confused expression marring your features.

“Your…erm, your bum and breasts and…your cunt. Not just rubbing you, but I…I fingered you. And I – Merlin, I’m so sorry – I put my…” He had to stop and take a deep breath. “I fucked your thighs last night.”

The lines in your forehead deepened. “You…what? Bash, that’s not funny. Why are you saying this?”

His heart nearly shattered. Here he was telling you explicitly what he’d done, and you still couldn’t believe it. He hadn’t known admitting his sins would mean having to convince you they really happened. “I’m not joking. It’s…it’s true. I’m so sorry.”

You gaped at him. You thought back to the last several nights you’d spent together. The dreams you’d been having – even last night after taking the potion. You felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on your head. “Why?” you asked.

“I just couldn’t resist you. Or I didn’t want to,” he said. He didn’t want to act like he hadn’t made a choice. He knew he did. “Being so close to you. I just wanted you so badly. I’ve always wanted you – ever since the day we met. And when I touched you, you’d moan or sigh and your nipples got hard and you were wet. Like you liked it. But I know you would feel guilty about doing those things with me. So, I told myself that touching you while you slept meant I could make you feel good and you wouldn’t have to feel guilty, because you had no choice. But really, I just like it and didn’t want to stop. And then I kept going further. And last night…with your thighs…that was just to make me feel good. I’m so sorry. I won’t let it happen again. I won’t sleep in your bed anymore.”

Your head was spinning as you tried to process all the information. In the end, all you could say was, “I guess that explains why my knickers are gone.”

Sebastian hadn’t realised he’d forgotten to replace them. He scolded himself for being so stupid. Not that it mattered now after his confession.

You felt like you should be terrified. Sprint out of the room. Report him to Black or Weasley. But this was Sebastian. You’d been through so much together. You cared about him so much. You–

“I’m so sorry, MC,” he said, interrupting your thoughts. You had been quiet for too long, and he couldn’t take it. “I love you, and I promised myself I’d never hurt you again. But I fucked up so badly. I know making you come isn’t exactly the cruciatus curse, but it was a violation, and it’s probably worse in a lot of ways. You’d given me permission in the Scriptorium, at least.”

So, you had come like you dreamt. Of all the things you could have or should have felt, you felt relieved that you hadn’t totally missed the first time Sebastian made you orgasm. Or, what you assumed was the first time. It was still all so confusing. “Was that the first time?” you asked.

Sebastian shook his head, and your heart sank. “I touched your breasts after we rescued all those nifflers from poachers last week.”

Now you were confused. You really doubted you could orgasm just from your breasts being touched. The question escaped before could control your tongue. “You’re sure I came?”

“Last night?” Sebastian asked as his cheek flushed. “I mean, pretty sure. I–I’d never seen a girl orgasm before, but from what I’ve heard…Well, and I could feel…” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. “Feel…the pulses with…with my finger in you.” He couldn’t look at you.

Your brow furrowed again. “I’m confused,” you stated. “Last week was the first time you made me orgasm or last night was?”

He looked at you again. “Last week was the first time I touched you. Last night was the first time I fingered you and the first time you came. As far as I know. But I feel like I’d have noticed,” he said.

You nodded in understanding. You were quiet for a minute. “And you came, too?” you asked.

Sebastian nodded, looking down at the mattress. It was hard to avoid your gaze when you two were still lying so close together.

“And that was the first time you came?” you inquired.

He nodded again. “Well, with you,” he said. He added quickly, “Or anyone! I mean, I’ve…touched myself before. Alone.”

That had your mind spinning again. “And you came from fucking my thighs?” you asked, your hand absently traced your skin beneath the covers.

Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut as he nodded. He felt like such a disgusting creep.

You tilted your head. “Do you want to fuck me?” You wondered if this was more about you or some weird fetish thing.

Sebastian’s eyes snapped open. “Yes, but I would never do that! I wouldn’t take you while you’re asleep. I swear! That’s part of why I told you. To make sure it…To make sure I wouldn’t lose control again and do something I’d regret.”

“So, you do want to, but you’d regret it?” you asked, confusion creeping back again.

“I’d regret using you again while you’re asleep,” he said.

You held back a smirk. “So, you want to fuck me while I’m awake?” The thought had heat blooming in your abdomen.

His whole face was red. “Of course,” he confirmed. “I mean, ‘fuck’ makes it sound so detached, but I…I want to make love to you.”

As he raked a gentle hand through your hair, a statement he made that you heard but hadn’t processed was yanked to the front of your mind. I love you, and I promised myself I’d never hurt you again. He loved you. He wanted to make love. Because he loved you.

You looked up into his warm brown eyes and couldn’t believe how you’d never seen the love in them before. It seemed so obvious now. “You love me?” you asked, more to hear the words again than confirm he meant them.

He nodded. “So much, MC,” he said earnestly. “I’m so sorry. I swear I–”

“Don’t be sorry,” you said before acting on impulse and pressing your lips to his. He looked stunned when you pulled back. “I love you, too.”

His jaw fell open as he gaped openly at you.

You kept his gaze. “I want you to touch me. But when I’m awake. I want to be with you, Sebastian. And, for the record, I wouldn’t regret it. I turned down everyone else because I didn’t want them. I just want you.”

“You’re the only one I want, too,” he said, bringing a hand up to caress your cheek. “I promise I’ll take care of you.”

He slid his other arm under you to hold you tight to his chest.

“I know,” you replied as you snuggled in closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and tangling your legs with his. You nuzzled into his chest, and Sebastian rested his cheek on top of your head. He took in the relaxing scent of your shampoo and the warmth of your body against his. He was flooded with relief to know you didn’t hate him. More than that, you loved him back, which made him indescribably happy.

He was, perhaps, a bit too happy.

“Oh,” you said in surprise, pulling back to look up at him.

Sebastian could feel the blush colouring his cheeks. “Sorry, I just…really like having you in my arms.”

You gave him a sultry smirk. “I like it, too,” you replied. You bit your lip as you pressed your hips forward into his.

He groaned at the contact. “You just like getting me worked up, you little minx,” he chastised playfully.

You gained a mischievous glint in your eye. “Maybe,” you replied, feigning innocence with your doe-eyed expression as you wriggled your hips to continue the torture. He could see your eyes darken as you brought your hand down to palm his growing erection. “Or maybe I’d like to take care of you.” You winked at him.

Sebastian moaned, dropping his forehead to rest on yours. “I’d like that,” he breathed.

“Tell me more about what you did while I slept,” you said as you pulled his length out of his trousers, wrapping your hand around him. Your teeth sunk into your lips as you looked down between the two of you at his cock, proudly erect and looking almost painfully red.

“Well, at first, I…Fuck, that feels so good!” Sebastian said, his head lolling back as you stroked him. “MC…”

“At first you what?” you pressed, pausing your movements.

Sebastian whimpered at the loss. “I just wanted to hold your tits,” he admitted.

You grabbed his hand, placing it on your chest quickly before returning to your prior task of fisting his cock. Sebastian moaned as he immediately massaged his fingers into your supple flesh.

“Then, I needed to see them,” he admitted.

Before he could tug your gown out of the way, you had sat up and ripped it over your head.

“Sweet Merlin,” Sebastian breathed as he took in the sight of you. In a flash, he had shucked his bottoms and was on top of you, pressing you back into the mattress as his lips devoured yours. “Gods, you’re so beautiful!”

You moaned in response as he sucked on your neck. He palmed your breast in his left hand while his right arm propped himself up. You gripped at his shoulders, bunching the fabric of his pyjama shirt. Sebastian sat back on his heels and worked open the buttons urgently before he tossed the shirt off.

Your hands dragged down his torso and around to the lean muscles of his back as he covered your body with his again. He pressed into you, soaking in the warmth of your skin and relishing the feeling of your breasts pressed against his chest and the pressure on his cock as it was pinned between your bodies. He dove his tongue into your mouth as he kissed you, making you moan as you pulled him tighter against you. Gods, he loved kissing you.

You were panting when he pulled back. “I tasted you next,” he said, holding your gaze as he moved down so his face was even with your breasts. He hovered over your peak for a few seconds, letting his warm breath fan over your skin and watching as your breaths quickened and your bottom lip disappeared between your teeth.

“I’m s-supposed to be taking care of you, you know,” you said. Your voice was too needy to chide him effectively.

Sebastian smirked. “Yes, well, I seem to have gotten distracted.”

You whimpered as he circled his tongue around your already-stiff nipple before wrapping his lips around it. He alternated suckling and flicking his tongue back and forth over it.

“Oh, Sebastian,” you keened desperately.

He loved hearing you moan his name. He liked bringing you pleasure and seeing how worked up you got from him. His hand slid down your stomach as he released your nipple from his mouth. “I didn’t stop at your breasts, though,” he said lowly. Your breath hitched as he cupped his hand over the mound between your legs. “I touched you here.” He parted your folds, running his finger through your soaked slit. He thought it felt even wetter than it had the night before. “Rubbing you…” He circled the pad of his middle finger over your clit. “And plunging into you…” He slid the finger down your slit and sank it into your tight pussy.

“Oh, fuck!” you groaned, throwing your head back into the pillow. “Gods, that feels so good!”

Sebastian smirked with pride. He watched as his finger disappeared inside you over and over again. Your sweet little cunt looked delicious clinging to his finger like that.

Sebastian bit back a groan. “There are some things I didn’t get to do,” he observed, giving you a devilish grin.

You were too distracted by the sensation of his finger filling you to reply, but Sebastian didn’t mind. He liked the idea of fucking you dumb – he just hadn’t expected it to be so easy. He bent down, dipping his head to your core. He licked up the sides of your slit as he kept fucking you with his finger. You took in a sharp gasp before moaning his name.

You had a musky, faintly sweet taste. He’d never tasted anything like you, and he found himself unable to get his fill. He kept lapping eagerly before concentrating on the buddle of nerves at the top. You became a mewling mess as he kept thrusting his finger into you and flicking his tongue over your clit. You tangled a hand into his hair, holding him in place against your core as your hips lifted off the bed. As if he would’ve gone anywhere else.

Your moans kept increasing in both frequency and desperation. “Shit, that’s so–I-I’m gonna come!” you whined. Your whole body tensed, even your breaths ceased, before you let out a loud groan as he felt your cunt begin to pulse around him.

You collapsed back against the mattress with your chest heaving. You whined as Sebastian kept licking at your folds and pumping lazily into you. You used your purchase in his hair to pull him off.

“Come here,” you begged. “Please. I want you. I–Gods, I need you!”

Fuck, it was happening. He’d dreamt of it. So. Many. Times. He didn’t waste any time crawling back up your body. Both of your hands became tangled in his hair as he melded his lips with yours.

“I love you,” he panted before kissing you again.

“I love you, too,” you replied as you brought a leg up around his waist. Sebastian groaned as your hot core pressed against his length. “Now let me show you.”

Sebastian reached a hand down to grip his cock. He dragged its head through your slit. His eyes rolled back at just being pressed against your entrance. “Gods, I love your body. Your perfect little cunt,” he groaned.

“Please,” you keened, arching your hips up to try to get him inside.

With your appeal, Sebastian sank into your heat slowly, carefully. He released a breathy moan as he bottomed out inside you. He swore under his breath at how tightly you gripped him. You moaned as he sucked against your neck. He wanted to connect every part of your bodies, in every way possible.

You started moving your hips first, and Sebastian took it as his cue to start thrusting. He kept his face buried in your neck as he glided in and out of you. You met his thrusts, using the leg wrapped around him to pull your bodies even closer together. At some point, he had become the one whimpering. He couldn’t contain the noises that poured form his lips. You just felt so good.

“Faster,” you said, and Sebastian was happy to oblige.

His hips were snapping into yours when he felt his impending orgasm. He couldn’t tell how close you were, though. He did his best to hold off, but soon he could feel the point of no return looming. “Fuck, I’m gonna come if we don’t stop,” he groaned.

You moaned. “Come for me,” you said without hesitation. “Come in me, Seb.”

Sebastian’s cock throbbed at the thought of it and in a few more pumps his orgasm crashed through him. His seed burst out of him until it began seeping out of you and around the base of his cock. He kept thrusting, pushing his seed further into you. Some primal part of him wanted you as full of him as possible.

Once satisfied, Sebastian collapsed over top of you. He placed innumerable kisses over your neck, chest, and cheek. Finally, he pulled out of you. You winced as he did.

“Are you okay?” he asked worriedly. “Did…did I hurt you?”

“Nothing bad. It’s just…sensitive,” you replied. You gave him a reassuring smile. “It felt amazing.”

Sebastian felt relief flood through him. “You were incredible,” he said in awe before crushing his mouth into yours. “I love you.” He kissed you again, more softly this time. “So much.”

He gently brushed your hair out of your face as he looked down at you reverently.

You laughed. “Yes, I think you mentioned it,” you teased, smirking up at him.

His cheeks flushed red. “Sorry, I–”

You pecked his lips, cutting him off. “It’s sweet, Sebastian,” you assured him. “I love you, too. You can tell me the same as much as you like.”

His face split in a broad grin. “I love you, MC,” he said. He gave your lips a peck like you’d given him. “I love you.” He nuzzled into your neck, making you giggle as he kissed your skin open-mouthed. “Gods, I love you!”

You laughed at his ridiculousness. Sebastian moved to lie beside you. He pulled you into him so your chests were pressed together and your legs entangled. For a long time, you just lay entwined together, basking in your afterglow. Sebastian stroked your hair languidly as you traced delicate patterns on his back with your fingertips.

“Hey!” you said suddenly, jerking your head up to give him a reproving look.

Sebastian’s pulse spiked at the anger in your voice. He was stared at you wide-eyed, just waiting for the shoe to drop.

“You owe me new knickers,” you whinged.

A smirk broke onto Sebastian’s face. “I don’t think you’ll be needing any of those for some time,” he replied, shifting the two of you so that he hovered over you. “Though, I’m sure I could find a way to make it up to you.”

He dipped his head and began to kiss down from the angle of your jaw to your shoulder.

“Oh?” you said, intrigued. “What did you have in mind?”

Sebastian chuckled against your skin. “Everything,” he said, eager to explore the plethora of licentious scenarios running through his mind with you.

You moaned as he sucked a particularly sensitive spot on your neck. “I like the sound of that.”

#sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow x f!mc #hogwarts legacy fanfic #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian x mc #sebastian sallow fanfic #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #sebastian sallow x reader #non-consensual touching #non-consent #somnophilia #non-consensual somnophilia #dead dove do not eat

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cultofdixon · 2 years ago

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Trapped

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • Terminus was a hell for everyone that experienced it. But you were the only one out of them all to have lived there and you saw EVERYTHING. Even lost a part of you to get you in line. That when the next community opened its doors, you were the last one adjusting • ANGST/SFW • TW: Canon Violence / Cannibals / Missing Appendage / Injuries / Scars / Anxiety Attacks / Claustrophobia / PTSD / Nightmares

Requested by: Anon

The explosion took all of their attentions away from what was about to happen. The two butchers behind the four kneeling men looked at Gareth for answers while he left in search of them.

“Should we continue?”

“I’m not sure—-hey” One of them got distracted leaving Rick’s window to be open but when he heard what’s next— “You’re not allowed in here. Where did you—-“ the gun fired making them all flinch and turn around quickly to find Y/N. Y/N…

The gun in hand was Rick’s, and it was handed to him after said retired sheriff broke loose taking out the second butcher as she took care of releasing the three still tied. Daryl didn’t hesitate to bring her into his embrace holding onto her for a short while relaxing every negative thought from the time apart. Glenn noticed her hands on Daryl’s back and quickly made the two part so that he could get a better look at the missing pinky and ringer finger of her right hand.

“How long have you been here?”

“Who the fuck did this to you?!”

“Y/N. What are we dealing—-“

“Cannibals. Fucking human eating human beings!” Y/N snaps handing Rick back his gun as he took her hand to see the damage himself. “I’m not gonna like what you’re plotting am I?”

“You know where our stuff is being held if you had my gun. We can find a lighter”

Y/N helped her group get their weapons back, along with anything else they might have taken. Resulting in the next actions being Daryl holding Y/N’s body still as Glenn held her hand for Rick to heat up his knife and pressed the heated material against the stubs where her fingers were to stop the bleeding and start the healing process.

“You know I’m a doctor right?”

“Would you do this in the green zone?”

“As a last resort” Bob states grabbing a left over bandana and wrapping it around their wound securely and temporarily. Until they find actual medical supplies. “What…did they do to your…?”

“You don’t wanna know” Y/N frowns as her words made Daryl tighten around her for a second before the small group had to retrieve the others and leave this shithole.

The reunions made the pain hurt less. But there was still something lingering there…that got triggered by the downhill spiral they all endured.

The cannibals finding and eating part of Bob

Bob dying

Finding out Eugene was useless

Finding out Beth was alive…but dead when reunited

Tyreese dying

Starving themselves

Almost dying to a herd trapped in a barn

Then the stranger that promises a safe haven, and going to such with hesitation. Y/N kept to herself as the group followed the stranger named Aaron and his partner Eric. She found herself lingering to the back watching the place come to view with more guards, another fence, and most likely another set of rules with harsh consequences. At least that’s the state of mind she’s going in with.

“Hey…come on” Maggie pulls her out of her thoughts wrapping her arm around her and walking inside the place with Y/N. “We’ve got yea. I don’t think anything bad will happen here…”

“And if it does?”

“You’ve got us” Sasha reassures joining the two as they made their way into Alexandria.

Daryl kept his attention on Y/N the entire time since they first entered Alexandria. She has Sasha and Maggie currently but it’s always nice to have another set of eyes as long as he doesn’t stare for too long. He was making sure nothing overwhelmed her or triggered her because she hasn’t sit still since arriving.

“Y/N is staying in the first floor bedroom” Carol informs Daryl who didn’t want to be inside the homes for too long in case anything happened. But he also wanted to make sure Y/N stayed in one place to avoid the worrying of where she’s at. “The surgeon here patched up her hand, what Rick and you guys did was a bit much but he would’ve done the same if he were you”

“The son of a bitch doesn’t look like he’s stepped out of this place since the beginning”

“Regardless. Y/N hasn’t slept since the fall of the prison and if you’re not leaving the porch to yknow take a much needed shower or to scowl at one of the pretty boys…if anything happens, Y/N will need you.”

Daryl knew this already, but Carol knew a part of him was still hurting. Blaming himself for Beth’s death. Beating himself up for not finding Y/N and having her suffer the horrors of that place the longest. He wasn’t going to leave his spot unless something bad happened.

Y/N sat up in her bed to be met with a dark room, only light was on her. She felt her fingers seeing that they were there, until a hand came into view grabbing her wrist and yanking her forward.

The woman fell out of bed on her hands and knees as the light only followed her. She gasps to the sudden pain returning to her ribs as she fell through the floor landing straight on her side.

As the prison fills into the world surrounding Y/N, she looks at her person finding the damage from the fall of the prison littered on her body. Weakness from recovering from being sick…and the bruised ribs from an explosion knocking her off the second floor to the first in A block.

Need to get out

Need to get…

Y/N found herself sitting up in restraints in a cold building. Felt like a freezer of a warehouse. She scans around the once dark again room as footsteps echoed in the darkness. Revealing Gareth who held a nutcracker behind his back.

“You stumbled in our community, and killed one of our own”

She couldn’t speak.

“You’ll suffer the consequences…and then work for me. Unless you’d want to lose another finger” Gareth smirks as Y/N suddenly screams in pain to find one of her fingers missing. “Just. Cooperate…and you can live here.”

Suddenly Y/N was on her back gripping onto the set of hands gripping her throat staring up at one of the butchers who had enough of her attitude. Gareth appears beside him watching the light in her face but right before she passed out, he made the man let go.

“Another”

The sudden screaming caught Daryl off guard as he stops talking to Glenn about the asshole sons of Deanna to rush into the home. Glenn of course followed in case something worse was happening but as he joined the scene watching Daryl get swatted away from Y/N’s fetal position in the corner of the room. He quickly grabbed the back of Daryl’s vest pulling him away causing a bit of a fight.

“The hell are you doing?!”

“She’s still having the nightmare” Glenn points out the fact that she’s never opened her eyes since he arrived and given when Daryl first entered she didn’t know instantly that it was him. “You need to be more careful”

“Right…Fuck” Daryl frowns taking it slow and approaching Y/N’s curled position grabbing the blanket off the bed.

“It’s okay. Y/N…you’re not where you’re at” Glenn whispers approaching along with the archer in case she retaliated. “You are in a house…that you share with Carol…and Daryl…in the new community. That is scary…and full of new people…”

“But we’re here…” Daryl states watching her body relax slowly. “You ain’t alone like back at Terminus……we reunited. We’re safe. You are safe”

The two stopped when her body relaxed enough for Daryl to bring the blanket around her without any freak out. When she woke she retracted a bit making Daryl back off and Glenn shoot out reassurance until she relaxed again but conscious.

“You had a nightmare”

“That triggered sleepwalking or I don’t know what you’d call being asleep but acting the nightmare.” Glenn sat on the bed as Y/N curled up with the blanket around her with Daryl keeping his hands on her knees. “Uhm. I know the timing is terrible but what happened in the nightmare?”

“Felt more like a night terror…but uh…I don’t really want to talk about it”

“That’s fine. Just know you’ve got us whenever you’re ready to talk about it” Glenn got up from the bed. “Do you want anything before Daryl can—-“

“I’m okay…thank you Glenn”

Once he left, Daryl got up from the floor to help Y/N off the ground. He directs her back to bed sitting on the edge once she got in entirely covering herself more in the blanket.

“Imma ask, if yea need anything before I grab assumptions”

“…my hand hurts”

“Pain meds it is” Daryl pats her knee getting up to grab what she’ll need leaving her alone for a moment.

Y/N brought her knees to her chest covering her entire person with the blanket Daryl wrapped around her shoulders earlier. She wanted to make herself small for just a second to find some sense of calm…even when her heart was still racing like it did when she was in Terminus.

The night of the party came and Daryl wasn’t going to go. Because he hates that shit and wants to be there for Y/N, who hasn’t left her room since receiving it. He kept to the porch as he smoked to clear his mind of the mental toll she could be experiencing when Aaron walked by.

“Not going to the party?”

“Nah, I’ve got shit to take care of”

Aaron nods thinking about his next response before just going for it. “Want some dinner? I wasn’t gonna go because of Eric so we’re staying in”

“I uh…” Daryl turned toward the house expecting Y/N’s bubbly self to come out but that was taken from everybody. “Y/N hasn’t left the house and—“

“You don’t wanna leave your partner. I get it” Aaron smiles. “But if you come by. For just. 15 minutes. You can eat…grab a plate for her” he offers and left on that note.

Fifteen minutes…

And he didn’t have to worry about it one bit. Daryl came back actually past fifteen minutes to find Y/N in the kitchen in fresh clothes and grabbing a glass of water. He joins her at the kitchen island setting down the bowl of spaghetti he brought for her from Aaron’s.

“The party?”

“Nah. Wouldn’t go to that shit without yea. Just went to Aaron’s for dinner” Daryl watches her inspect it. “I had two plates. It ain’t poisoned.”

“Thank you for bringing me dinner…” Her smile returns to her as it always brought a sense of warmth to Daryl.

Daryl brought himself beside her while she ate her dinner in the comforts of his presence. Y/N finishes her dinner and put the bowl in the sink to wash later…feeling Daryl come up behind her wrapping his arms around her torso resting his chin on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry you were stuck there…”

“You don’t have to apologize, Dar…we’re safe now” Y/N rubs his forearm gently. “Right?”

“M’not leavin’ anymore. You’re stuck with me now” Daryl smiles listening to her laugh that he missed so much.

“Good”

#cultofdixon #the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction

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delulustateofmind · 7 days ago

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Hello! I was just reading some of your other Yan!JJK men fics, and I started to go down a rabbit hole of what would I do if they locked me up like that, and I think I would just kms.

so its totally fine if you're uncomfy with it, but if you dont mind could you write a Yan!JJK men reaction to finding out their darling commited su!c!de?

(Im SO sorry if this is triggering in anyway, your bio said dark content so I figured id give it a shot T-T)

TW: Mentions of Depression and Su1c!de. Sorry I rambled a lot, completely unedited.

Haha you're okay! I don't mind talking about this sort of stuff!

Yeah, that seems to be a common census with a lot of people, but I don't think Darling would even have a chance to off themselves.

Think about it, Suguru and Nanami are 100% the coddling type. The knives are hidden (maybe will let you cook under their supervision). Cleaning products are stored away along with medicine. Hell, I honestly think a lot of things are babyproofed. Like the whole house. Survalience cameras everywhere type of deal.

Suguru especially knows the signs of depression, he's spiraled before so he would instantly know when his darling is feeling more down/at their breaking point (and not in the way he wants). So, as Suguru is the most manipulative out of all the JJK men, I think he would be more aware of things you are doing. Might try to ease you out of a slump by allowing more time in the garden, letting you be out in the sunshine with either a curse of his following you around or himself. Bathing would no longer be by yourself, he'd be more gentle too, more loving. Pressing soft kisses to your neck as he cleans you. I think he would also ease off any sex for a while, instead would cuddle you during movies and such. He, of course, would still have a tight leash on his darling but it won't be as noticeable, in fact he might appear as a loving boyfriend and not somebody that just kidnapped you. Manipulatively would use the twins, especially if they are younger when he kidnapped you.

Saying crap like, "The girls see you as their mother, y'know" and "They re really starting to love you, aren't you glad that you live here with us?"

Perhaps, allowing you to spend more time with them before being tucked back into your chambers, which had cameras installed in both the bathroom and bedroom. <3 (Sorry, this man lives in my mind rent free 24/7).

Now in the chance that you did get the chance, I think he would spiral. In most of my fics, I have it where he didn't defect, so I think that would be his turning point. Because, at the end of the day he does truly love his darling. He wouldn't have kidnapped them and brought them into his home where his children live if he didn't. I strongly believe he would murder anyone that was close to you so he doesn't have a reminder of your existence. (He's a bit unstable like that, such a silly lil guy)

Nanami would be practically the same way as Suguru, keeping an eye on you at all times. Bringing you home sweets and flowers (if roses, thorns were removed wayyy prior to giving them to you). You would be sleeping and bathing with this man until he deemed you were ready to be trusted by yourself. Mmm, would coax you into being around him more. He won't force you, but the doors will be removed. He just doesn't want you to hurt yourself. Would also be the type to bring most of his work home but if he does have to leave, he will be checking the cameras every ten minutes or so. Might ask Ino to watch you on days he has to go on missions (Ino believes Nanami is a super great guy and thinks anytime you mention that he kidnapped you is a joke. 100% Ignorance is bliss).

Now, let's say you had the chance and Nanami came home to his darling unalive. Well...He would be super depressed. Would revert back to his colder mannerisms. Talk to people less, maybe drinking more and more. Would 100% blame himself for not taking better care of you (does not regret kidnapping you).

Satoru is a unique one, because, as the strongest, he can't exactly be home all the time. He is also terrible at talking about emotions, I mean he didn't even know how to react to when Suguru was spiraling. Satoru would notice though and move his darling to the clan estate where a handmaid is 100% following you around 24/7 while he is on missions or teaching. It may not be the most welcoming environment but he is the clan head and his word is law around those parts.

Would be a bit more smothering with his darling when he is home. Not sexual, he would at least grant you that, instead would cuddle you. Feed you. Bubble baths. You name it. Brings home your favorite foods and desserts, spoon feeding them to you with little airplane noises before pressing peppered kisses to your face with that lovesick smile on his face.

Now if his darling died, it would absolutely crush this man. 100% would not recover. Would just become the weapon for jujutsu society. Would kill all of the servants that attended to you because how could they let this happen? You were supposed to be his forever. You were supposed to be his dream. You were supposed to be his. Poor fella wouldn't know how to regulate his emotions and would go extra feral on curses. Would do his best to wear a fake smile around his students but he is crumbling inside.

Choso and Shoko....are hard. They wouldn't kidnap their darling. Choso is the stalker type of yandere, I think he would live with Yuji so he doesn't want to kidnap his darling in fear his brother would leave him or think he's insane. So instead Choso just watches you outside your apartment, watches you sleep, leaves flowers around the apartment to the point it drives you insane. His darlings death would crush him, like we saw him spiral when Yuji nearly died. So I think Choso would go MIA for a while (he's a hard one to think of for this, my bad).

Shoko just wouldn't let it happen, perks of her curse technique. Good luck trying to die around her. (She's just built different) Though the thought would stress her the hell out. Shoko would def smoke a shit ton and drink like a sailor until you start showing signs that you are mentally getting better.

Sorry for all the rambles! Hope that kinda answered your question? Lemme know if you need me to expand on any of the characters :)

#anon asks #jjk #Yandere jjk #TW: depression #snail talk

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sanslovesblog · 10 months ago

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Unraveling Madness: San’s Dark Secrets Pt. 1

Summary: You're a brilliant psychiatrist, but you were no stranger to internal conflicts. You had accepted the task of treating Choi San, the psychiatric ward's most dangerous patient due to his violent episodes. Despite skepticism from other staff members, you believed that beneath his destructive exterior lay a vulnerable human being, yearning for understanding and acceptance.

Genre: fluff

Trigger warning: childhood trauma

Teaser | Master list | Pt. 2

You arrived at the psychiatric ward, greeted by an eerie silence that felt heavy with secrets. The hallway stretched like a tunnel into an unknown realm, lined with closed doors hiding patients behind them. Each door represented a story of tormented souls trapped within their own minds. Your destination was Room 312.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you entered the room, the dim lights casting sinister shadows across the sterile walls. You took a deep breath, steadying yourself against the palpable tension that hung heavy in the air. As you approached Choi San, sitting slouched in his chair, you couldn't help but notice the haunted look in his eyes—a reflection of the torment he endured.

"Choi San," you began softly, trying to maintain a calm demeanor despite the storm brewing inside you. "My name is y/n, and I'm here to help you."

He stared back at you, his gaze cold and unwavering. "Why should I trust you?" His voice was low, laced with bitterness. "Everyone else has failed me."

You paused before responding, weighing your words carefully. "Because I believe in you, Choi San. I see potential beneath the chaos, I can help you." you said with reassurance in your voice.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his voice barely audible as he replied, "Help me? No one can help me." You could sense the pain etched deeply into his psyche, and it tugged at your own heartstrings.

"I understand that things have been tough for you," you began gently, "but we're going to work together to make things better." Choi San stared blankly ahead, neither denying nor accepting your words. You decided to take a different approach—one that might open him up to sharing his experiences. "What's the first memory that comes to mind when you think about why you ended up here?"

A torrent of words burst forth from Choi San, his voice rising in desperation.

"I remember a night, so dark and cold, my hands trembling as I held the knife," he whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. "It was supposed to be a release, a way out of the pain I felt inside. But instead, something else took over me."

You listened intently, feeling the weight of his burden. "That 'something else'," you responded thoughtfully, "isn't just a product of your mind. It's a manifestation of all the hurt and anger bottled up inside you.

You reached out, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He recoiled slightly, but allowed your touch to soothe him.

"It all spiraled out of control," he continued, "The voices grew louder, urging me to harm those who mocked me. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, but the whispers wouldn't stop." You listened intently, empathizing with his plight. "And now, everyone sees me as a danger," he lamented, his voice choked with emotion.

You removed your hand, leaning back in your chair. "Choi San, let's try something new today," you suggested, your tone soothing yet assertive.

In that moment, you realized that beneath his hardened exterior, Choi San was just a frightened young man longing for compassion and understanding. "It's okay," you murmured, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. "We'll get through this together."

#ateez x reader #choi san #choi san x you #choi san x y/n #trust issues #building up trust #understanding #childhood trauma

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luckykittysshowerthoughts · 1 year ago

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Nightbringer Predictions: Breaking Lucifer

(spoilers below)

So if I'm not mistaken, after this Belphie arc is done there's only one brother left to snap: Lucifer. I've been very curious about what's going to happen with him especially, so I'm looking forward to the coming lessons. It makes sense that they'd save him for last.

That said, I have a prediction for what might cause his spiral.

So far, each of the brothers' spirals had some kind of emotional trigger. For Mammon, it was coming to terms with how his greed hurts others, for Asmodeus it was coming to terms with being a demon, for Belphie it's grappling with MC's upcoming departure, etc.

I think for Lucifer, his breakdown is going to come in the form of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think he's going to snap because he realizes he's next.

Lucifer has watched every single one of his brothers spiral into their darkest depths, one by one. By now, everyone's come to the conclusion that it's going to happen to all of them, but I don't know if it's quite set in for Lucifer. He's the Avatar of Pride, after all- on some level, he views himself as above the others and above most situations that come his way. Satan made a very good point in S1 when he mentioned that Lucifer was very likely to consider himself immune to a banshee's warning- that's just how Lucifer is.

I think that's how he's going to turn out to be here, too. As the Avatar of Pride, I don't think he can truly comprehend his own vulnerability.

But after watching everyone but him snap, I think it might finally set in for Lucifer that this is actually happening and that it's going to happen to him. He'll realize that he's not above this, he's not above what's been happening around him. And as the Avatar of Pride, I don't think he can take that. I don't think he'll be able to bear the idea of breaking down and losing control, of having his deepest insecurities unearth themselves as he's unable to control himself. It would be his personal hell, the ultimate wound to his pride. And I think the anticipation of that fate will be what sends him over the edge, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

#obey me lucifer #obey me nightbringer #obey me predictions #nightbringer predictions #obey me theories #obey me speculation

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thelittleliars · 1 year ago

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Would it kill you to smile? At least once in a while?

Natasha Romanoff x Reader (Platonic) Wanda Maximoff x Reader (Former lovers; now platonic) Wanda Maximoff x Reader x Natasha Romanoff (platonic)

Warnings: Depression, suicidal thoughts, angst -> fluff?

Words: 1.5K

Summary: Your girlfriend demanded the most difficult task from you. Natasha came to your rescue.

AN: Another one shot since I have not come any further with P.S. I Want You. It hurts me that I do not know what do to with Chapter 3. I just can't seem to get it going :( Anyways I hope you enjoy this little idea that I came up with a couple days ago. (The title are lyrics from the song 'under the weather' by CORPSE)

"Would it kill you to smile?" Your current girlfriend Jade snapped, the frustration and anger in her voice was clear. "I mean at least once in a while?! And especially in pictures!" Her words cute you deep, they broke you in a way that you didn't know existed. You felt angry, sad and betrayed by her. Depression was no joke and she knew what she was getting into from the start since you were nothing but an open book about your long battle with the chronic mental illness. All those nights she was there for you in the best possible way, in the darkest of your days she was the light - you anchor, so you honestly couldn't understand why she exploded like this.

"Yes." You stated. "Yes it would kill me." Your voice cracked, the pain she caused was obvious but she didn't care for some reason. But even if she did care in that situation, it wouldn't have made a difference. Her words were an unforgiving betrayal that you never thought would happen. "You of all people should know how awful my depression is. How could you even ask that of me?!"

"Because my friends thinks that you're miserable because of me!" She shouted again. Tears started to flow down your face.

"You could have just straight up told them about my depression! Fuck Jade, the entire world knows about my depression ever since I dated Wanda. It's not even a fucking secret that I had multiple suicide attempts while dating her and she never minded what people said about her because of that. She even encourage me to go with her to interviews and to openly talks about it. The awareness we brought on this topic is insane. It's not a tabu topic."

Before Jade could open her mouth to shout more cruel words at you, Natasha came out of the shadows and interrupted your conversation. "It's time for you to go Jade." The red head looked at you with deep concern in her eyes, knowing first hand that all of this is extremely triggering for you and she did not want you to spiral badly again. "Fuck off Romanoff, we're not done here!" That was a huge mistake - you thought. Nobody can ever fuck with Natasha Romanoff, not unless you're Yelena Belova or one of her 'girls'; meaning her extremely close friends that contains Wanda, Maria and you. "Out. Now." Natasha was calm but her voice was ice cold. Though her words wasn't meant for you, a cold shiver ran down you spine. You can only imagine how scary it was to be on the other side of her words.

"Fuck." Fear replaced the jealousy that ran through Jade's veins. Only when Natasha indicated of making a move on her, she ran away fast without ever looking back. Natasha turned to you with open arms, hugging you dearly to her chest. The feeling of her arms around you gave you the safeness to break down completely. Her hands gently rubbed up and down your back, it was her way to comfort you, no words needed to be said. After a while you finally stopped crying but the black widow still didn't remove herself from you. "Maybe the world really is better without me." It hurt her to hear those words, though you constantly had your up and downs, she believed you were in a good place before Jade blew up. Was she so wrong? Or was it all because of this triggering situation? "Dorogoy, I can tell you with certainty that my world definitely would not be better without you. It would be miserable but if you honestly feel like you can't live like this anymore, I don't have the right to tell you to stay. That would be cruel of me." Your hands that were around her tightened. "I just wanted you to know you're not alone and that the world is definitely not better without you. If you're still not sure then ask Wanda. She of all people knows how it feels like and appreciates you the most."

"Thank you for always being there for me Nat." She whispered a small 'always' before giving you a kiss on your forehead. The two of you stayed in each others arms for another 5 minutes. You then decided it was time for some space. She gave you the room but didn't leave you alone yet, afraid of your thoughts running wild. "Tell you what. We're gonna go to the movies to watch a film and then we'll to your boss about a leave since you need a break. I'll then show you a shield facility that could help get better, if you're up for it."

You shook your head. All you wanted to do was laying in bed and sleep. "I can't Natty. I'm just so exhausted." The other woman nodded. "I understand." She said with a sad smile. She was still determined to not leave you alone with your thoughts so she came with another idea. "What if we watch a movie in my room? Getting snacks and Wanda to join us? You even can fall asleep while we give you some cuddles."

Relief and appreciation was written all over your face. While you went to the kitchen for snacks, Natasha pulled out her phone and called Wanda, commanding the witches ass to her room. All three of you met in Natasha's room with Wanda being the last one to arrive. "I couldn't find my best fluffy blanket at first but here it is!" She proudly lifted up the white-blue striped fluffy blanket before throwing it into your face. "Thanks Wands. I brought you guys Sour Patch Kids, chips, mini pretzels, popcorn and your favorite sodas."

Natasha let out a mix of a groan and moan. "Way to make a girls knees weak.." The widow said as she made her way onto the bed. You snorted a bit too loud to your liking but also tried to ignore your little embarrassment. "That's not the only way to make girls knees weak." You had a suggestive look on your face which made Natasha blush. Wanda took that opportunity to tease you. "Oh my, who knew you still had it in you?"

You turned your head towards her as she was just getting onto the bed next to you. "I believe you're just too old to keeping up with me." At that, Natasha laughed out loud. It was a nice to hear it since you liked the sound of her laugh, it brought you a sense of home.

Wanda took slight offense in your words. "I'm only a year older than you!" She exclaimed with a gasp. You shrugged your shoulder. "My point still stands." Wanda rolled her eyes. "Rude.." Shaking your head was the only thing you could come up with as retort. You got under the blanket, which was very soft and fluffy, and held it up for the other two women to join you underneath it. Natasha teased the other red head all while getting closer to you. "Face it Wands, you're getting old."

"I'm getting old? Should I mention your age Miss Romanoff?" Wanda got sassy in a way you hadn't seen in years. It was endearing to hear the banter between girls that meant a lot to you. The older red head felt attacked by the younger woman, though both knew they said it out of fun. "Don't you dare!"

You interrupted them since you loved putting your input in this banter. They just amused you very much. "Ohh but I dare you too."

"Y/N no! Not you too." She looked at you with puppy eyes. "I thought you liked me."

"I do. I love your guys' drama more than a movie so go ahead and continue." It nearly brought out a smile of you but the small urge to do so vanished quickly as your mind reminded you that you don't deserve to be happy. They both sensed the mood shift in you afterwards so they changed the topic by deciding which movie to put on. They both choose Encanto, a movie you had yet to see but only heard great things about. You started to cuddle and hug Wanda's side like a koala bear. Suddenly you felt drained again so you closed your eyes. But something was still missing for you to feel at peace. "Nat?" - "Mhm?" - "Could you spoon me from behind?" She came up behind you and spooned you exactly as you requested. "Like this?" Natasha made sure that you were comfortable and didn't cross your boundaries. You quickly grabbed her hand and put around your waist. "Like this yes. Thank you." You felt safe with both of them laying there like that. They both gave you a kiss on your heard, telling you that they loved you. You only hum in acknowledgement since the sound of their steady breaths and the movie noises in the background made you sleepy. You soon fell asleep in their embrace as your heart and mind didn't feel as heavy as before.

#natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #black widow x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #black widow x female reader

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kiwisfics · 10 months ago

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A/N: Don't read this if you don't like dark fics! Don't come at me if you don't like the content. Triggers are listed and the only non-"constructive" comments I'll take are about any triggers that need to be added. I said I was gonna post this like... three days ago but I kept going over it again so if I don't post it now I'm not gonna. JUST TAKE THIS! Let me know if I missed any uses of my SI's name when I was editing.

Context Needed: I normally keep the fics I write that are lore-heavy to myself, but since people said they wanted the dark fic… Reader is a rifter, which basically means that she’s capable of traveling dimensions, and is conditionally immortal. Reader goes by Black Robin and is implied to have a suit that shows a lot of skin and to have a flirty persona as a vigilante.

TWs under the cut because there's... a lot.

Light TWs: Self-loathing, reader diminishes her own worth, reader has past trauma with being left behind by people she cares about, Dick is giving reader the silent treatment at the beginning but it’s mostly pre-setting, canon-typical violence/blood mentions. “Good girl” gets used condescendingly.

Heavy TWs: Do NOT read this if you have any triggers related to rape/non-con. Nothing actually happens, but it heavily revolves around reader believing that it's going to. Seriously, don't read this if you don't like whumpy stuff, because you're not gonna like it. My love of whumper to caretaker shows through here. Lots of mentions of trafficking, reader is kidnapped by said traffickers, fear of rape/non-con, Dick is very mean. Like, seriously, he’s very OOC for the majority of this fic. Threats/implications of rape/non-con, inappropriate use of one of his escrima sticks (just in the mouth) reader has a spiral at the end where she’d convinced that Nightwing and Red Hood are going to rape her.

If it’s any consolation, this is technically hurt/comfort, so it isn’t all horrible. Just… most of it. Reader also forgives him far too fast in the end, but I can gladly share some more snippets of how this affects the reader character in the future. I’ve already got ideas for some short scenes that I’m gonna write.

Nightwing was going to kill her.

He’d been explicitly clear: he didn’t want to see Black Robin out ever again. She’d nearly gotten herself killed, but she knew that wasn’t why he was so angry. He couldn’t have cared less about that, after all, she was a rifter and that meant that she was built to take pain and that death was a moot point. He was angry because she’d risked the mission, nearly let a trafficker that they’d all been hunting for weeks get away because she got too confident for her own good.

She’d snapped back at him when he told her that she wasn’t to wear the suit again, told him that he was just like Batman. That was the wrong thing to say.

He hadn’t talked to her since.

So, maybe she was trying to bait him a little by coming into Blüdhaven in her suit, maybe she was trying to get his attention back because she couldn’t stand being punished with the silent treatment. Maybe this was her fault.

Well, it was definitely her fault, but in her defense, she was thinking with her heart and not her head. She didn’t want to lose him, and in some twisted way, having him level her with lecturing and anger was still better than the radio silence.

She would have been fine. Nightwing would never actually hurt her. That wasn’t what went wrong.

Her suit didn’t have a panic button. It didn’t need one because she was forbidden from going out on her own even before she’d wrecked a mission and been benched. So, when she’d stolen a bike and made her way to Blüdhaven in costume while Bruce was off-world, Tim was with the Titans, Jason was off on a no contact mission, and Alfred was distracted with keeping Damian from abandoning his studies in favor of full-time vigilantism, no one knew where she was going.

She’d even been stupid enough to leave a note saying that she was heading home to visit family, and she wouldn’t be back for a while.

Alfred would have already found the note. Bruce wouldn’t start worrying for at least forty-eight hours with no word.

By then, it might be too late. Too late for her pride and her self-respect at least.

For now, she contented herself with growling and spitting at the traffickers, fighting the urge to be sick over the taste of her own blood soaking the rag in her mouth. She had no chance of picking the locks on the handcuffs, because she’d never gotten the hang of it while Bruce was teaching her, so she didn’t bother fiddling with them, instead preserving her energy.

If no one found her, she’d need her energy if she got the chance to run. They’d have to uncuff her from the chair if they wanted to-

She gulped, pushing down the thought.

Nightwing was going to kill her, but he was also the only chance she had of getting out of this without something worse than torture occurring.

She could see the leering. She could read the expressions. She promised herself that if she got out of this, then she was going to change the layout of her suit. She needed to cover more skin. She needed to flirt less with enemies too, apparently, because the men that had grabbed her had parroted some of her own lines back at her while they gagged her and dragged her back to this warehouse.

It was always warehouses. For once, she wanted to get dragged to a penthouse suite and get threatened and tortured by a classy villain.

Nightwing was going to kill her, but she couldn’t help the way that her chest lurched with relief and happiness upon seeing his form drop to the floor from one of the open skylights.

At once, all of the guns were on him, but, as suspected, he didn’t so much as flinch.

“Here to save your little friend? Awful bold to jump right in the middle of the warehouse full of men with guns, even for you, Nightwing.”

He tilted his head, the clench in his jaw speaking of rage.

She was sure she was saved, because even if he was mad at her and was going to give her a lecture that might have her in tears by the end of it, Nightwing wouldn’t hurt her. Dick wouldn’t hurt her.

“Save her? No. She’s just getting exactly what she asked for.”

Her stomach lurched this time, but it was with fear and a sickly cold feeling that crawled up her throat like it was being swarmed by ants.

Was she wrong? There was no way he would just leave her to her fate. He’d saved genuinely terrible people from situations that weren’t even as bad as the one that she’d found herself in, so there was no way he was going to leave her here, just because they’d had a fight.

Right?

The men’s guns all seemed to lower in the slightest bit, but they didn’t leave his form, “You expect us to believe you’re going to just leave her here? That you just dropped in for a friendly chat?”

“Oh, no. I don’t plan to leave her here. You just saved me the trouble of getting her pinned down is all.” He twirled one of his escrima in his hand, like it was a fidget toy instead of a dangerous weapon. “I appreciate you making my night easier, but I’m going to be taking her off of your hands now.”

So, he was saving her, right? He was contradicting himself, but she didn’t care what he said if he got her out of this.

“Thought you weren’t saving her,” the guns raised back to their full height, the leader scoffed, “you go play hero somewhere else for the night and maybe will give her back when she’s nice and broken in. Might not even charge you the full rate.”

She didn’t like having her suspicions confirmed about what they planned to do with her, but that was fine. She had guessed that, and it didn’t matter anymore, because Nightwing was here and that meant that these idiots were just delaying the inevitable rescue he’d come to pull off.

“Well, I guess you could consider it saving. After all, I might not be quite as into pain as some of your clients are, but you shouldn’t worry, I plan to make good use of her.”

What?

No, no, that wasn’t right. He was not actually implying that he was going to use her exactly how these men planned to. There was no way. He was Nightwing. He was-

They’d been flirting since they’d met, the kind of flirting that made everyone that didn’t know better think they were already an item. Even she knew that he was attracted to her, but… had she really pushed her luck this far? Had she really made him hate her so much that the only way he wanted to make a move on that attraction was like this?

She was having more and more trouble holding back on throwing up the meal she’d had before leaving Gotham.

“Yeah, right. You expect us to believe you want her as a toy?” The leader scoffed.

She wished she was that certain that he was lying about it.

Dick- Nightwing walked forward, still twirling his escrima as he approached her. The men parted for him despite keeping their weapons squarely aimed.

“Who could blame me?”

She could feel his eyes burning into hers even behind his mask. Her own mask was long gone, leaving him an unabated view of her frightened eyes. She was sure there was betrayal there too.

His escrima rested beneath her chin, and she forced her head back, trying to put distance between her skin and the weapon that she knew could easily shock her, “Look how pretty she is when she’s scared.”

She tried to muffle the whine that escaped her throat, but there was no way that he didn’t hear it.

What was going on? This was wrong. Was this- was someone wearing his face?

No, she couldn’t pin it on that, because no one knew about the way he’d yelled at her about never wearing the suit again, and there was no denying that was what he meant when he’d said she was getting what she asked for.

He really did hate her, then. She’d really, really messed up, and now he hated her, and for some reason the sting that knowledge made bite at her heart was worse than the fear at what he planned to do to her.

“And what kind of payment are we getting out of this? We could make hundreds at least by selling a vigilante, especially if we only rent her out. And this one can break over and over again, just to heal back up. She’d a goldmine of opportunities. Why would we just hand her over to you?”

Dick’s—no, no, she couldn’t think of him as anything other than Nightwing, because if she thought of him as Dick, then she was going to breakdown for sure; Dick didn’t hate her, Dick cuddled her during movie nights and carried her to bed when she fell asleep—Nightwing’s jaw ticked with irritation. Apparently, he hadn’t expected them to be so unwilling to give her up just because he wanted her to himself.

Was he waiting for this? Did he know what he was going to do as soon as he’d told her to never put the suit on again? Was he hoping that she would, just so he could use it to justify punishing her like this?

His empty hand trailed up her chest, just barely brushing her shirt, but it was enough to make a jolt go down her spine. He grabbed her jaw, the escrima stick brushing lightly against her cheekbone, “You’re going to let me take her without causing me any more trouble, because otherwise, I’ll be telling the Bat about your outposts in Gotham.”

Angry muttering began among the traffickers, but the leader remained silent, “That’s not much of a payment.” He hummed, like he was considering the offer, but anyone could tell that he already planned to ask for more, “Tell you what, you can take her out of here, no problem. I’m not interested in getting caught by a stray bullet in a firefight, and, honestly, keeping one of the Bat’s things seems like asking for trouble. She didn’t put up much of a fight, so you can walk out with her, after you give us a show.”

She gagged audibly on the rag in her mouth, tears finally escaping her eyes while she put renewed effort into forcing the rag out of her mouth. She wanted to beg and plead and cry. If he was going to do anything to her, at the very least she didn’t want an audience.

For his part, she could see his eyes widen just a fraction behind his mask, but the surprise quickly seemed to settle, and he flashed a smirk to the men that made her feel like she was about to start hyperventilating.

“Fine.”

No, no, no, no, no.

He pulled the gag from her mouth with the hand that had been against her chin, and she instantly opened her mouth to beg, but snapped it shut a millisecond later, her teeth clacking together almost painfully.

His escrima stick was resting against her lips, and his free hand was holding her jaw again, fingers squeezing against her cheeks in an attempt to make her open her mouth, but she wasn’t budging. She wasn’t stupid, and maybe cooperation would make things better in the long run, but she wasn’t letting him put his weapon in her mouth.

“Unless you want this to hurt a lot more later, you should cooperate right now. I’d hate to use this somewhere-“

Her mouth shot open before he could finish, fast enough that her jaw popped.

Okay, so she was letting him put his weapon in her mouth. She’d take the loss.

“Good girl.”

She hated that the praise stroked something in her, making her heart flutter even while he shoved the escrima stick past her lips and far enough into her mouth to hit her throat and make her gag.

Blood. Steel. An iron tang that made her brain go blank for long enough that she missed what he said next.

He didn’t appreciate that.

“Am I boring you?” He growled the words as his free hand tangled in her hair and pulled her head forward, making the escrima stick hit the back of her throat again with what was almost a bruising force. “I asked if you were going to behave, or if I was going to need to make you deepthroat this while it was on, but I guess I have my answer.”

Cold terror battered against her ribcage in place of her heart. All that was left in her chest was a black hole of absolute horror and fear that could hardly classify as a heart.

She didn’t realize that the sobbing in her ears was her own at first, too far into her own head and too tense while waiting for him to flick the switch to make this humiliation painful to know what was going on around her.

She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t breathe!

And suddenly everything around her stopped and went deathly silent before gunfire began and the yelling of the traffickers became frantic and chaotic. The only words she picked up were “it’s the Hood!” and what normally would have made her think she was saved only made her panic more, because if Nightwing—the one that had held her while she cried and always agreed to musicals just because he knew she loved them—was going to use her as a toy, than that meant that Red Hood would too. She was sure he hated her too. She’d thought the way they bantered was fun and games, but she’d also thought that Nightwing cared about her and clearly, she was wrong about that. Nightwing had probably called him here so he could take out the frustration he had with her on her.

And then they’d tell Batman that they’d found evidence that she’d been trafficked and then they’d keep her locked up somewhere and- and- and- and- she couldn’t-

“Breathe.” A familiar hand fanned across her cheek, fingers brushing away tears that were immediately replaced with more, “Breathe for me, bird. It’s alright. It’s okay.”

She couldn’t. She couldn’t catch her breath, but the escrima stick wasn’t between her teeth anymore, so she could beg now. She could plead and promise to behave and maybe if she asked nice enough and they believed her then they’d let her go after they were done with her instead of keeping her.

“Please, please, I’m- I’m sorry, I-I’ll never wear the suit again, I promise. I promise. I’ll be good. I won’t fight, I’ll-“

“Hey, hey, stop.” He pressed his hand against her mouth, not hard enough to force her to be quiet or to muffle her voice if she did continue to beg, but she silenced herself instantly regardless. “You’re okay, bird. Just breathe. I’d never hurt you. Never. There wasn’t a way to warn you about what was going on without cluing them in. I’m so sorry, bird. I really am.”

He sounded like he was about to cry, and the way he was holding her face in his hands certainly didn’t give her the idea that he was going to hurt her or force her down to her knees so he could-

“I could think of a hundred better ways to have gone about that, ‘wing.” Hood’s voice made her flinch and sink farther down in the chair she was tied to. She didn’t even move her legs or arms when he’d gotten the cuffs undone.

“I needed to distract them so you could get the files and I’m still injured. I wouldn’t even be out tonight if you hadn’t told me that they’d gotten their hands on her. If I’d tried to fight them, then they would have taken me out before finding you, so I don’t want to hear it. Don’t act like I wanted to do or say any of that.”

That was… fair. It wasn’t fair to her, but she had gotten herself into this situation and- she would forgive everything if it meant that he wasn’t going to hurt her. Actually, she’d let him hurt her if it meant that he wasn’t going to use her.

“Dick?” She whined out his name like a kicked puppy, tilting her face against one of his hands in a placating gesture.

“Yeah, bird. I’m here. It’s me. That wasn’t real. None of it was real, and you’re safe now. No one is going to hurt you, especially not me.”

Another sob tore from her throat, and she threw herself forward, into his arms. She was trembling and sobbing harder than he’d ever heard, and she was almost positive it was harder than she ever had in her life. His form wrapped around her, tucking her against his chest as he pressed his face against the top of her head and placed comforting kisses.

Jason sat on the ground behind her, one of his hands running circles against her back in an effort to assist in calming her, and it worked.

After her sobbing began to slow, Dick spoke up hesitantly, “I thought you would know. I never meant- I thought you would know that it wasn’t real. I thought you knew I’d never hurt you.” His breaths shuddered, “I thought you knew that I love you.”

“But you- you were mad at me. You told me- told me I could never wear the suit again and- and then you didn’t talk to me all week and I thought- I thought you hated me. And- and I came here to get your attention because you were ignoring me, so- so I would have deserved-“

“Hey, no. Don’t even finish that sentence.” His hold on her tightened and his voice turned even more tense, edged with anger, “No one deserves to be taken advantage of and you know that.”

She sniffled, tucking her face tight against his neck, and breathing in the scent of his suit and sweat. “You said you love me.”

There was a long pause, and Jason took it as his cue to leave, ruffling [Name]’s hair as he stood and headed out of the warehouse. He landed a boot against the ribcage of the leader of the traffickers as he passed by.

“I’m going to alert Blüdhaven PD. Half of their guys are probably on this group’s payroll though, so I’d get out of here before they show up. They’re probably hoping whoever shut down this location sticks around so they can fill them with lead.”

“We’re headed out now.” Dick stood as he said it, taking [Name] with him as she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung onto him.

“You said you love me.”

“I did,” he finally confirmed, “but I don’t think now is the time to talk about-“

“I love you too. So much.”

He went quiet again, feet still carrying them away from the nightmare that she’d just gone through, “I don’t expect you to forgive me for that.”

She tightened her hold around him, burrowing against him as a sign that she wasn’t holding any grudges, but also in an attempt to hide from the could Blüdhaven night.

“I knew you were after them. I shouldn’t have stuck my nose in it. I just… I wanted you to talk to me again. Even if you were angry. I… I don’t handle the silent treatment well and… it felt like you were leaving me behind, just like everyone else always does. It felt like you had decided I wasn’t worth the trouble anymore.”

“Never. I’ll never leave you behind, okay? I know that me saying that isn’t going to make you stop thinking that I might, but I’ll prove it, alright? I’ll never leave you behind.” He brushed his lips against her neck, and she couldn’t fight the light laugh that escaped as the gentle touch tickled her skin.

“Okay. I, uh, just… one thing though.”

“Anything.”

“Please keep the escrima sticks away from me for a while?”

She could feel him cringe, but he nodded, “Yeah. That’s fair.”

#x reader #dc x reader #dick grayson x reader #dark dick grayson x reader #whump #dc whump

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