#that's what google says so

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

A procession of confessions.

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[shithowdy]

having the whitest problem on earth: my dad got some already antique balinese masks at an estate sale 40 years ago and officially made them my problem by hiding them in a box of other masks he gave me and now i have to call museums asking who can take them because it turns out they are priceless cultural items. thanks dad.

[royalarchivist]

Mine: Refer to me however you want!

Mike: Yeah, for me too. I think I use all pronouns too.

[They high-five and fist-bump each other]

Mine:

[via @barbmine]

[inkskinned]

"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"

dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.

but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.

the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.

so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.

we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.

now leave us alone.

[moeblob]

"Abduct is SUCH A strong word, pal! But yes."

[etahk]

"SMILE!"

My entry for @vantriloquist's DTIYS! I really had so much fun drawing this that I went extra and did a little something.

Behold, the thing that delayed this post for a week and a half TvT, a mini-comic under cut:

🔪Killer Sans belongs to rahafwabas

❤️Dust Sans belongs to ask-dusttale

🪓Horror Sans belongs to sour-apple-studios

We don't talk about the first time I posted this without page 3—

[swampthingking]

andrew’s definitely gotten in trouble with his pr manager for tweeting things along the lines of:

“no mania inducing medication will compare to the euphoria i will feel the day donald trump drops dead”

[cozylittleartblog]

yeah like having to deal with the obnoxious middle aged women who thrift to resell wasn't bad enough, now we got the braindead fast fashion bozos cluttering things up too.

its ok shirt, i will love you like somebody else apparently couldn't even if you shed microplastics into the water supply and will fall apart after 7 wears. and then i'll sew you back together like anyone with two braincells to rub together Should

[jash-updates]

what the fuck are some of you guys doing to this man i cant

[ivyithink]

posting this little thing, while I’m neck-deep in iwtv wips…

[lotus-duckies]

i love the idea that when april met the turtles, they were still like. really tiny. because. turtle. so she towers over them like

[skellydun]

Hobbies are supposed to be fun I mutter to myself as I fuck up the thing I've been working on for what feels like forever and have to fix it AGAIN

[kazutora-kurokawa]

HC's about your choice and I would like to challenge you to use this song for motivation!

FMRN

TokRev x Reader: Risky Sex

♡ NSFW, needy!reader, fem reader, oral->fem receiving, exhibitionism, sex in Shin's bikeshop, sex in a dressing room, teasing, these men are cocky fr, also Tora has a tongue piercing because I said so ♡

Characters: Shinichiro and Kazutora (separately)

note: as soon as I heard the song I knew what direction I wanted to go with this and I kinda went overboard 😭 Sarah Ilysm for this 🩷 also I proofread this so yea my eyes hurt lol

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Shinichiro

You honestly couldn't help yourself when it came to Shin, especially when he was working on a bike, he always looked so hot when he was focused. As he was about to get up from his place on the floor you ambushed him, positioning yourself in his lap and wrapping your arms around him. He pulled his cigarette out of his mouth and put it out in the ashtray, focusing all his attention on you.

"What is it darling? Feeling affectionate?"

You couldn't even be bothered to respond, too busy grinding against the growing bulge in his pants. He chuckled at your neediness before planting a deep kiss on your lips.

"You sure you want me to fuck you here? Anyone could walk in on us."

Did he really just ask you that? As if he didn't see the desperate look in your eyes, like he didn't feel how hard your nails were digging into his back, itching to tear his clothes off.

"Shin, please!"

"Please what darling?"

"Please fuck me~"

That's all he needed to hear, as a matter of fact, he could live off of those words alone. He undid your pants before pushing you onto the cold floor and undoing his belt. The adrenaline coursed through his veins as the thought of being caught flashed in his head. But that didn't matter, all that mattered was how pretty you looked underneath him and how badly you needed him. He started off slow, setting a pace that only made you beg for him even more. Your whining was his signal to go faster, to go deeper, to be rougher. His hands held your legs down, spreading them as far apart as possible so he could hit every nerve. His cock rammed in and out of you so fast that your legs started to involuntarily close, but he wasn't gonna let that happen.

"Uh-uh sweetheart, don't try to get away. You wanted this remember? You were begging for me to fuck you and now you can't take it? Just be a good girl for me and take it ♡"

Fortunately, you two finished up without getting caught. It also goes without saying that he left you completely satisfied, filled to the brim, and unable to walk properly.

Kazutora

You had been out shopping with Tora all day and you didn't know why, but everything this man did was about to send you over the edge. The adoration in his eyes whenever you tried something on and the endless flow of compliments would've polluted your ego, if they hadn't gone straight to your pussy. You were already on your last straw when you came out of the dressing room in a tight black dress, praying that he'd hold off on the compliments for once.

"You look absolutely stunning angel, I love how you look in that, you'd look even better with it off though ♡"

Your hand gripped the doorway of the dressing room as you felt your legs about to give out on you. There was no way you were gonna be able to hold out until you got home, you needed him now. You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him into the dressing room, closing and locking the door behind you.

"Do you have any clue what you're doing to me right now?"

"Of course I do, because I'm doing it deliberately."

"You're such a jackass!"

"I know, but I'm your jackass."

He pushed you onto the bench of the dressing room and was immediately in between your legs. His calloused hands pulled up your dress and pried your legs open, his tongue brushing over your clothed clit as he licked over the wet spot on your panties.

"Look at you, so fucking wet for me princess ♡"

His teeth hooked into the waistband of your underwear, pulling them off of you in an agonizingly slow manner.

"Tora, stop teasing!"

"Okay okay! I'm sorry angel, I'll stop teasing ya."

He gently pressed his thumb onto your clit, rubbing circles and applying more pressure as you got wetter. His thumb was quickly replaced by his tongue and you felt a chill go down your spine as the cold metal of his piercing hit your clit. This definitely didn't go unnoticed by him either.

"Aww angel, do you like it when I press my piercing on your pretty little clit?"

You could only nod in agreement as your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as you grinded against him. His grip on your thighs tightening as you came, leaving the bottom half of his face soaked. Before you could even let what just happened sink in, there was a knock on the dressing room door.

"Ma'am are you okay in there? Do you need assistance?"

"No I'm okay, I'll be out in a second!"

Tora looked up at you with a smirk on his face before kissing your clit and getting up to help you fix your clothes.

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Taglist

@arlerts-angel @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katshimizuu @happy-trenchcoated-impala @rinshawty @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies @livefromnc

[moeblob]

What if I straight up didn't explain myself? What if I just said trust me on this? Would you?

[melikes-reads]

What if we were strangers but you saved me from bullies in high school?

What if we became the best of friends?

What if I saved you from your violent father?

What if you ran away for 15 years?

What if you came back into my life, unexpectedly?

What if I told you you're the centre of the world?

What if you told me: "Of your world, maybe"

WHAT THEN? WHAT THEN?

[cringefailvox]

okay sometimes i see people talking about alastor's vocabulary as if he's remarkably verbose or witty compared to the other characters but i have to confess. i really didn't register it as unusual because that is also just how i talk on a regular basis