#that's true body language doesn't lie

[theonewithval]

Just a cover but playing with her earring all giggly while she calls him sweetheart was definitely not an act

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | #53

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mature content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 18.4k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

It's fascinating how even after getting back to the front of Jungkook's car and a few minutes of riding back to the house, you can still feel the remains of the faintest – yet very noticeable – tingle from your previous orgasm. Jungkook – who remains to have that captivating orgasm glow or it's just your mind playing tricks on you – has put an end to your thirst, or at least that's what you thought for a short period of time. That's until you find yourself glancing his way while the aftermath of a great orgasm buzzes through your body.

If you weren't suspiciously coming back later than the actual ride is supposed to take, you wouldn't resist a possible round two. You can't believe yourself. This is not really like you. You never were driven by lust and pleasure before – at least not to this amount. Jungkook does wonders, not only to your body but to your mind as you often find yourself rethinking... well, yourself.

It's hard to explain, but it's like he brings out another person in you. Someone you never knew existed, at least not to this extent. You know the pleasure he gives you and the undeniable attraction is the reason why you're still doing this. It feels too fucking good to let go.

Before the unwanted thoughts start to invade your mind, the content feeling of being properly fucked just a few minutes ago is replaced by guilt. Not only Jungkook's father questions you of your later arrival, even though you're about ten minutes late, it's Haru and the sight of her that makes you feel bad for allowing yourself a few minutes of – absolutely perfect and irreplaceable – pleasure.

It's some time past nine in the evening, clouds no longer visible as they're replaced by the faintest stars that are sprinkled across the night sky. The garden is fully set up with beautiful outdoor lights, probably the only thing keeping Haru from falling asleep. She looks tired, Taehyung would surely call her wasted if that was possible. She's completely dozing off and though Jungkook's father (or anyone else) doesn't scold you for your arrival, because there's no reason for it, you understand his granddaughter is what sparked his curiosity.

Jungkook lies effortlessly. The lie rolls off his tongue almost skilfully as he blames the traffic and more customers in the grocery store than usual.

No one pays attention to it though, luckily for you, and they go back to their previous conversation. Mr. Jeon rushes to grill the sausages for his only granddaughter, Haru seemingly coming back to life as she assists him with her small hands.

"You really don't know how to act." Jungkook comments, handing you a can of beer which you gladly take, even though you weren't planning on drinking.

"What are you talking about?" you ask, opening the can followed with a hissing sound.

"Guilt is written all over your face, a way to look suspicious." he snorts, your mouth falling open in disbelief while you're being called out.

"Not everyone can lie so easily," you raise your brow at him, finding him cockily shrugging at his good acting skills. "Poor Haru, she's been waiting for the food and we took our time."

"That was us taking our time?" he snorts, raising his brow this time at you as you sheepishly offer him a doubtful shrug. "We both know that's not true. Besides, she was eating like an hour ago, she's not hungry, just greedy."

"Jungkook!" you exclaim, holding back a laugh at his completely honest expression while he shows no big deal of what he has just said.

"What, it's true!" he laughs, "I'm not gonna rush back to the house for some fucking sausages." he mutters mockingly so only you can hear, the beer almost coming out of your nose after you decide to take a sip right as he says it.

You laugh together, not being able to hold it back while you're trying to cover your mouth at least.

"Come on, you two! Join us!" Sona calls out to you, interrupting the moment between you two as she waves you over.

"You're living with Jungkook at the moment, right?"

It's something they all must've known at some point, though this is the first time anyone addresses it besides Mrs. Jeon's phone call you remember very freshly.

"Ah, yes." you grin, a little embarrassed for some reason.

Perhaps it's just you and your issue with not wanting to look incapable or like a burden. It's a whole another chapter to be talking about it in front of Jungkook's family. Though they've never given you a reason to feel embarrassed or weird about anything, you do find yourself tensing a little at the topic. Calm down, Y/N. They're just having a normal conversation with you.

After Sona's question, you offer them a brief explanation of what actually happened and force you to make this decision. They all seem understanding, making no big deal of you staying at Jungkook's place – even though you know there's no reason why they would make a big deal out of it. At the end of the day, it's Jungkook's business and not theirs. You do feel way better when they actually encourage you for your decision, assuring you that you've done the right thing.

"... I don't understand how someone can do that to the person they rent their place to." Mrs. Jeon scoffs a little, the rest of the family members nodding along her words as they silently agree.

"It's unfortunate really," Jungwon agrees, "But this can happen unfortunately."

"You mentioned something about finding a new place?" Sona asks curiously and you nod, a spark of hope crossing over your features as you nod with a smile.

"Yes!" you respond, "Well I haven't been there to see it yet, but the apartment looks good. Actually I texted the owner and I'm still waiting for him to get back to me, it seems like many people are interested in it. That's just my guess though."

"Well, we're gonna hope you get your own home soon." Mrs. Jeon smiles kindly at you. "Nothing's better than having your own place."

"Thank you." you smile kindly at her, appreciating the honesty and kindness.

Jungkook remains silent, at least was busy talking to his dad on the side for most of the time, but he's standing right next to you.

It got a little chilly and though you have one of Jungkook's hoodies on, you feel the warmth radiating off his body and you wish you could just snuggle closer to him to feel even warmer. Plus, you're getting tired even though it's not that late and cuddling always seems like a good option.

Sona and Jungwon say their goodbye's shortly after, poor Haru already falling asleep in her father's arms as he carries her to their car. You help Jungkook's parents to clean up and after the little nudge from Jungkook telling you to go wash up first, you listen to him. He must've noticed your tiredness and you smile at him appreciatively.

The shower feels nice and even though you would prefer taking a long bath, you stick to your shower routine rather quickly not to take up the bathroom for too long. Mr. Jeon takes his turn after the bathroom is free, offering you a tired yet warm smile before he scurries to their bedroom.

You lay on Jungkook's bed with the night lamp on, scrolling through your social media for a couple of minutes until you don't hear any other footsteps. Jungkook didn't come upstairs to wash up and you wonder what's taking him so long. After realizing you didn't bring a bottle of water to the bedroom, you sigh and make your way downstairs.

On your way down, you notice the lights are on in the living room and what sounds like soft sobs reach your ears. You halt your steps, breath hitching when you glance around the corner to find Jungkook's mom whose shoulders quiver as she cries to his shoulder. You mentally gasp at the sad sight, wondering what the hell happened.

Jungkook doesn't notice you at first, too busy hugging his mother with one hand as he gently caresses her arm.

"It's okay, mom." he mutters, voice slightly high while he can't bear the sight of his mother crying.

You don't mean to stick around, feeling like you're interrupting their moment for sure. However, just when you're about to forget the water and retrieve back to the room, Jungkook notices you. He sees the confusion, yet worry on your face while he sends a soft, but broken smile in return. You fight the urge to go there and be there for him, but you know now it's not the right time and you have to put your worry aside.

It doesn't make sense, at least not until Mrs. Jeon sniffles and says into Jungkook's shoulder;

"How could she do that to you?"

You swear your heart drops the moment she speaks, Jungkook's eyes staying on yours while he raises his brows in a silent empathy.

"You went through that all alone?"

Her voice cracks and Jungkook presses his lips together to prevent himself from breaking down. He looks composed though, and strong because no matter what his mother is going through right now after finding out what her son went through, he came to terms with it. He experienced heartbreak, pain and loss, but he's moving on and it doesn't hurt like it used to.

It doesn't make it easier to see his mother's understandable reaction though.

"Shh, I'm okay mom. I'm okay." he assures her, voice slightly breaking as he hugs her closer, placing his cheek against the top of her head as she continues to cry for him.

Deciding you shouldn't stick around, you offer Jungkook a tiny and sad smile before you quickly make your way upstairs.

When the room is swallowed in darkness and you stare into the ceiling, you keep replaying the scene you've just seen. You wonder if she's okay. If Jungkook is too. He seemed fine. He looked mostly sad because of his mother crying which is understandable. Their bond is strong.

It's clear what Jungkook revealed to his mother and though you're not sure how much he told her, you know it had to be heartbreaking to hear it. She loves her sons deeply, and to know Jungkook really had a hard time and she didn't know, wasn't there for him, is enough to be heartbreaking for any mother.

Jungkook never specifically said he won't tell her. But he might've hinted on not wanting to, fearing her reaction and for mostly, hurting her with the truth. In a way, he was protecting her from it.

There are continuous footsteps and sounds of movements outside of the room, soon replaced by door closing and shower running. You keep tossing in the bed, wondering whether you should go downstairs and check on Jungkook once the whole house quiets down.

You don't really want to come out as nosy and if Jungkook wanted to let you know, he would already stop by. Not going to lie, you are curious to know what he told her even though it's obvious. But you're mostly worried.

Sighing in annoyance to yourself, you get out of the bed as your feet pad against the floor. Just as you're reaching for the door handle, it suddenly gets pushed open before you can even touch it, causing you to almost shit yourself.

"Shit!"

"Heard that one before."

"Oh my god," you touch your forehead to rub it a few times as Jungkook sneaks inside the room, the amusement once again present in his voice as he silently laughs at your reaction. "You scared me."

"Where were you going?" he asks, ignoring your statement as you both make your way to the bed. At least you do and Jungkook follows.

"To check on you," you answer. "But I didn't know if I should. I told myself you would come here if you wanted to talk."

"I came." he says gently, getting under the covers with you but you decide not to comment on it.

You lay on your back, back staring at your ceiling as you stay in utter silence. Jungkook lays on his side, turned to you while his fingertips start to draw random patterns on your exposed arm. You gulp, close to shivering from how nice it feels.

"I told her," he says quietly.

You lick your dry lips, humming in return. "What did you tell her?"

Jungkook knows you know what the topic of their conversation was. He hears it in your voice. And he's aware of you asking what exactly he told her. So he simply says;

"Everything."

"Everything as in...?" you trail off and Jungkook chuckles at how careful you appear to be.

"Yes, everything."

That's all you need to know.

"How do you feel?"

"Surprisingly, okay." he says, surprised by himself. "I thought I would feel awful after telling her what I've been through, especially since she asked you and obviously had her doubts. You know I don't want to bother her, not even when it comes to me." he whispers as he explains.

You nod understandably.

"It wasn't easy to see her breaking down in front of me. I don't like to see people I care about cry. It's one of the reasons why I don't share my personal struggles."

"I know, that's awfully touching and annoying for us." you joke quietly, causing him to quietly laugh.

"But she's okay. I think she mostly cried because I didn't tell her sooner. But I think she would cry either way, no matter the time." he chuckles a little sadly.

"Why did you tell her? I thought you didn't want them to know."

"To be honest, I was planning it. I don't really need them looking at me differently, or to pity me from a distance even though I'm aware they all care extremely about me. I just want to be the same Jungkook for them, you know what I mean?"

You nod.

"But when you were talking with Sona, mom and dad, even Jungwon... asked me about Kiko and as you know, I only told them we broke up because our relationship wasn't what it was. They just asked about her, and couldn't possibly understand what must've happened for us to break things off. And I get it, I do. They saw our relationship from the front row as some might say, she was practically our family,"

He takes a breath.

"From what I understood, they thought we're on good terms and I don't know... I guess I felt sick of hiding it from them. It felt right to tell them at that time, so I started with mom. Coincidentally, she asked about how I'm doing and all that, it was just a great opportunity to tell her."

"I'm happy for you, Kook. I mean, I don't know if that's the right thing to say but I hope you feel better after telling them." you tell him gently as the caressing of his fingers stops for a second.

"I'm not sure if I feel better, I can't really define it. I just feel like I don't have this burden on my chest, you know?"

"Well, as long as you don't regret telling her, I think it's a good thing you feel this way."

"I don't regret it. I'm gonna tell Jungwon tomorrow, I'm supposed to meet him before we return back home. I asked mom to tell dad, I don't really want to go through that all over again but I'm sure my dad won't cry his eyes out for me. He's a tough guy."

You know what he means.

His father might not have a reaction like his wife had, but it's still going to be painful for him to hear Jungkook's story.

You yawn, turning onto your side to face Jungkook as he retrieves his hand, chuckling at the evident tiredness.

"Shit, I don't know why I'm so tired. I woke up the last out of everyone." you scold yourself, much to Jungkook's amusement.

"I took a number on you, huh?"

You roll your eyes, not really denying it because that has definitely something to do with it.

"Are you gonna sleep here?" you yawn again, cuddling to your pillow as Junkook snorts.

"Of course, this is my bedroom."

With your closed eyes, you smile tiredly. "Your mom–"

"My mom won't do anything," he interrupts you, "What she doesn't know won't kill her."

You snort, "You're unbelievable."

"So are you, baby." he muses, "Now go to sleep."

You let out a laugh, ignoring the flattering of your heart from the usual and dearing pet name, allowing yourself to fall asleep in Jungkook's close and comfortable proximity.

"So... what do you think?"

Jungkook awaited this question, so once you turn around with an excitement plastered all over your face, it's no surprise. You've been practically glowing the moment you crossed the doorstep. To be honest, he's sure you've been impressed as soon as you got out of the car and saw the neighborhood.

You've been back from Busan for three days when the owner of the apartment you're interested in finally gave you the date to go there and have a look. Of course he agreed when you asked him if he's going to accompany you. He promised you he'll be there for you. And so he is.

The building is unique and so is the apartment itself. The owner told you you could bring your own furniture since there's no bed, couch or anything you were forced to sell because of what happened with the other apartment. It doesn't bother you for sure, he's sure of it because he knows you're excited to furniture it again. You're also excited to have a place of your own, even if it's still a rented apartment but unfortunately, you can't afford to get a mortgage nor do you want to do that at the moment.

Jungkook knows all about your plans, you've talked about them a few times.

So when he sees happiness, hope and excitement – there is no reason why he should lie to you.

"It's great. I love it." he smiles and you almost squeal in another excitement but you're trying to contain it.

The owner seems to be nice – in his forties – living nearby with his wife and kids. He loves this apartment so much that he didn't want to hire any real estate agent. He could've easily avoided any other responsibility but it looks like he cares about who's going to live in his apartment. He even tells you – amongst telling you every important information about the apartment – how this was the first apartment he was able to buy. He lived here with his girlfriend who's now his wife.

"It's small enough for four of us, so we had to move out when my wife got pregnant but trust me. If we all could fit here, we would be living here." He told you which made both of you chuckle.

"I would say this place is wonderful for a young couple." Mr. Hwang – as he introduced himself to you – butts in while your eyes widen.

"Oh no, we're not–this apartment is just for me." you explain, Jungkook looking around completely unfazed by the assumption. Don't people always assume something?

"Oh, I'm sorry!" He's quick to apologize.

He had no way to know it's only for you. Well, you did contact him about being interested but you never really shared information about you being the only one who would live there. And to be completely clear, you came here with Jungkook which wouldn't have to mean anything at all – but his assumption isn't this huge mistake.

Still, you find your cheeks getting warm as you assure him it's alright.

Mr. Hwang excuses himself when his phone starts to ring and he leaves you both standing in the middle of the living room.

"Why do people always have to assume whenever a woman is seen with a man, they have to automatically date?" you hiss once he's away.

You turn to Jungkook who looks at you with big eyes, before they narrow into thin slits as he laughs at your showing annoyance.

"Doesn't that bother you?"

Jungkook cracks a grin, "I don't care what people think." he shrugs causing you to groan.

In reality, Jungkook understands your frustration and it's not like you're overly frustrated because of it. Observant and maybe a tad annoyed is the right definition.

"Stop with the sour face."

His brows shoot up as he looks at you confusingly. "What sour face?"

"You really don't want me to move out?" you ask him with a grin, slowly making your way in his direction as the teasing begins and Jungkook is aware of it. Which is why he responds with a roll of his doe eyes.

"I'm happy you found your place."

"That's not what I'm talking about," you point out, giggling when he narrows his eyes at you in annoyance. "Would you really want me to take up your office? Come on, we both know it wasn't ideal."

"I like having you as my roommate," he informs and then cracks a grin, "Even if you take up my office space."

You nudge him in his chest causing him to laugh. You bicker a little, especially by trying to pinch or grab one another. That's until Mr. Hwang comes back, apologizing again for having to take the call. It causes you to act like proper adults instead of kids bickering with each other.

When he asks the important question, you share a look with Jungkook and despite his previous words, he encourages you with a smile and soft nod which makes you look excitedly at Mr. Hwang.

"Yes. I'd love to live here."

The next few days are hectic.

Not only are you about to move into your new apartment, there is loads of stuff to be bought and ordered. Jungkook helps you every step of the way, even driving you to all the furniture shops your mind comes up with. Not mentioning he's the one carrying the heavy things and disassembling your bed.

You feel bad though.

As per usual, he assures you it's okay and he's happy to help. You both know you have no one else who would do this much for you. Jimin and Taehyung would try but – do they even know how to disassemble a single bed? They would probably mess around the whole time.

All of this happened fast.

Mr. Hwang told you you could move in right after the contract has been signed and you paid the deposit. You wouldn't want to waste any more time than it's necessary. So you started ordering the furniture pieces you need, having them delivered to your new address. Everything should arrive tomorrow and today happens to be your last day living in Jungkook's apartment.

Despite your excitement and anticipation of decorating your new home, you do feel sad gathering all your things and packing them back to the boxes that were never thrown away.

Jungkook isn't the only one who got used to having a roommate.

If it was anyone else, you're not sure if you would feel comfortable with them. With Jungkook, everything is different and even if this was for the time being, you felt comfortable and his place felt like home to you.

Not going to lie. You will miss his amazing bathtub and shower.

"You can come take a bath anytime you want."

That's what he told you and brought a smile to your faces.

"Should we do anything special? Celebrate?" Jungkook asks as he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Hm, what do you have in mind?"

It's already evening – too late to make any big celebrations. Do you even feel like celebrating? You've both been back to working, even Jimin and Taehyung have been busy with their jobs.

"Take-away and maybe a glass of wine?" he suggests, not really having much to offer considering the time. None of you are in the mood to get dressed up and go out.

After a whole day of working and then packing as soon as you've gotten home – to Jungkook's place – going out is out of the question.

So take-away and a glass of wine it is.

You both clean up, wiping all the sweat from the entire day. While you're in a shower, Jungkook orders food after checking with you and even though you've agreed – you're still touched to see your favorite food which happens to be Korean food from a local restaurant. It's the one that's slightly pricey but worth every penny.

You talk, mostly about tomorrow's plans since you have to wake up early to get to your new place where the new furniture will be delivered. Jimin and Taehyung are supposed to come too to help, which you appreciate. They wouldn't take any of your words for a "no", insisting on helping you. Well, you didn't protest too much. Four people do more work than just two – you're sure Jungkook is the one who's got the most work.

The wine tastes nice and you're on your second glass when you feel your face getting a nice warm temperature. It suddenly makes you oddly sad to be sitting in Jungkook's kitchen, almost like saying goodbye which is ridiculous.

Jimin was right.

You're bad with changes.

You never denied it.

And this is one of them. You know you will bounce back once you're alone, but now having Jungkook close and thinking you won't be waking up every morning knowing there's someone else there, feels sad.

You also know how fortunate you're when it comes to finding this apartment. And for it to be only yours. Most people have to have a roommate, if not more than one. This opportunity feels like a sign for the universe and you should be joyful about it. You are. But you will miss this.

Once you're done, teeth brushed and tucked in Jungkook's bed, there's something unspoken lingering in the air as you both lay in the room with lights off. With your bed already ready to be taken to your new place tomorrow, Jungkook's bed seems like the best option for you and who are you not to use this opportunity. You hate to admit how much you enjoy simply being next to him, a nice feeling before you will have your bed all to yourself and you'll be left alone.

A couple of minutes of constant staring at the ceiling slowly turns to shifting, you sigh as you rub your face. On the other side of the bed, Jungkook turns to face you as the thin sheets rustle around him. You thought he fell asleep by now.

"Are you okay?" he chuckles, causing you to do the same when you realize you haven't been very subtle at showing your lack of exhaustion.

The thing is that you're tired, especially from the wine but somehow you can't fall asleep. It's nothing unusual since it happened to you quite a few times.

"Are you nervous about the moving process?" Jungkook asks softly as you turn to your side to properly face him, a hand tucked beneath your cheek as you give him a sigh.

"No. Not really, I'm excited." you admit, "I just can't seem to be tired enough."

"You know... I'm proud of you. I don't think I've told you that these days." Jungkook says as your brows shoot up in a silent surprise.

"Proud of me?" you breathe out a chuckle.

"Mhm," he hums, "I know you felt like a nuisance which is far from the truth, I know you hate relying on someone else but look at you. You've found yourself a new place, you've got a good job and you're doing good."

Your heart warms up at his thoughtful and caring words. They feel like the greatest balm onto your beating heart. To hear someone is proud of you – you don't get to hear that often – is something that makes you nearly emotional and you hold back any tears that might come out.

It's not Jungkook's intention to make you cry or him wanting to turn into a sappy person in the middle of the night. He's warm and caring when it's needed but he doesn't say this kind of stuff often either. So it makes you cherish this moment even more.

"Thank you." you whisper softly, smiling at Jungkook who you're not sure can even see you.

A gentle sound comes out of his mouth, the one who tells you he has smiled back.

A sudden urge to pee interrupts the moment though and you groan, informing Jungkook about having to use the bathroom. He laughs while you make your way to the bathroom. Once you're done, Jungkook seems to be still fully awake which isn't much of a surprise. You didn't expect him to be asleep in two minutes – which you wouldn't put past him too much.

You lay back on the bed, adjusting your pillow before your head falls back onto the soft material.

Not even five minutes later, you groan once again rather loudly, slapping your arms at your sides as Jungkook cackles silently. Standing up, you make your way to the kitchen when you turn on the dim lightning. Opening the fridge, you take out the cold bottle of wine that you and Jungkook haven't finished. You pour yourself a glass of wine, hoping for it to tire you some more.

Sipping on the wine, you try not to think about how depressing you must look like – mentally laughing at the image. You've got no thoughts, just simply enjoying the taste of wine and your last night at this place.

A sound of soft footsteps follows and a moment after, Jungkook joins you in the kitchen with squinted eyes as he scans you and the glass of wine in your hand. "You okay?" He cracks a grin as you silently giggle and nod.

Are you? You're not sure because of the lack of clothing he's wearing. You swear you could stare at those abs all day.

"Just can't sleep."

"And wine is going to help?" He grins, wrapping his fingers around your hand as he tilts the glass in his direction as he takes a sip. Lips in a straight line for a second, he tastes the flavor on his lips while his eyes flicker to yours, waiting for your answer.

Too preoccupied with staring at him, you realize you haven't responded as you avert your gaze and crack another grin. "Should it not?"

He leans against the counter, arms crossing over his chest and biceps bulging, you choose to take a sip to distract yourself. But trying to distract yourself in Jungkook's presence is almost impossible, especially when he opens that dirty mouth of his.

"I could've tired you out in a much more sophisticated way."

The wine almost gets through your nose and with a hand over your mouth, you're trying not to choke as Jungkook shoots you a pleased smirk.

He might've caught you off guard, but you can't deny what could possibly be a verbal act of teasing, does to you. Your body heats up at his suggestion and instead of scolding him, you decide to play his own game. That's what the two of you do, right? Tease each other until you properly act on it. You wouldn't mind that outcome to be honest.

"You could've. I don't know why you didn't suggest it while we were in bed." you hum, turning to him a little as you swirl the goldish liquid in your glass.

Jungkook's eyes spark with mischief and amusement, tongue poking his cheek. "I don't need a bed for that though."

One point for him.

"Hm, really?" you muse, biting your lower lip as you finish the glass and place it back on the counter.

Stepping closer to him, you're face to face as you confidently place your palms over his buffed exposed chest. The skin is warm and soft, edging you to feel him up until you have enough. Controlling yourself, you focus on his eyes instead while something rolls in the pit of your stomach. Palms giving him soft caressing, staying solely on his chest, you mimic his tiny smirk.

"So you could ruin me?" You recall what he told you.

The truth is, you haven't forgotten and you've caught yourself thinking about it too many times. What are Jungkook's boundaries? What does he want to do to your body? Perhaps if this was any other man, you wouldn't be so adamant on finding out. But you trust Jungkook with every fiber in your body, there's nothing but curiosity, excitement and lust.

Something flickers in his gaze, a recognition of his once said words as he stares you down amusingly.

"I know what you're doing."

"Hm, what am I doing?" you ask, playfully glancing at him once again as you catch yourself staring at his chest, where your hands caress it.

"You little minx, you know." he chuckles, "You're trying to provoke me."

"Oh, I do?" you feign innocence, chuckling at yourself right after while you and Jungkook share a knowing look.

This constant teasing and provoking is what makes your body heat up. It's hard not to squeeze your legs together as a wave of arousal washes through you.

Jungkook leans down, hands on your lower back as he squeezes your sides, inching his face closer to yours. His nose touches yours and you're embarrassed how quickly you're prepared for the kiss. But the kiss never happens and Jungkook decides to play with you for a while, nudging his nose against yours before he opens his dirty mouth again.

"You horny?"

Groaning and ignoring his laugh, you slap his chest and take a step back. "You just ruined it."

He laughs louder, rubbing his nose before he catches you before you can walk away, turning you with your back facing him. He presses you against him, your ass touching his crotch while he squeezes your hips once again.

"What's ruined can be fixed."

And then he delivers a soft kiss to your jaw.

"That's very debatable." you breathe out, turning around as much as you enjoyed his lips on your skin.

Wanting to gain at least some kind of dominance, you press him harder into the counter as you raise your brow at him in challenge. A tiny smirk comes to your lips. Your hands no longer stay on his chest, making way down to his abs that flex under your touch and you let out a breathy chuckle. Jungkook's watching you, cocking his brow at you when you glance at him. He's waiting for your next step and deciding you want to make him react, you cup his groin as your thumb caresses the head hidden beneath his boxers.

He wasn't expecting you to do that, therefore he flinches at the sudden and straight-forward touch and your lips curve in a silent win.

"What? You think you're the only one with tricks up their sleeve?" you tease, his doe eyes narrowing as he licks his lips.

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and you feel your walls of short-lived dominance and power falling down. Especially when he flickers gently your chin with his index finger.

"Not at all."

"So?" You raise your brow in impatience again.

"So, what?"

You roll your eyes while he tries to hide a smile. "I'm starting to think you're all talk, Jeon."

His brows shoot up before he nods with his lips pursed in a mocking manner.

"Yeah, you are. Talking about ruining me, then saying I'm not ready. Whatever that means... and then you don't do any–what the hell?"

Tucking his arms behind your thighs, in one swift movement you're thrown over Jungkook's shoulder. He tries to stabilize you through your yelps and once you're safe, he starts walking to his bedroom.

A rush of excitement overcomes your body and just when you giggle, a slap is delivered onto your ass which shuts you up.

Before you can say anything, Jungkook kicks the bedroom door ajar and sets you onto his bed.

"You want me to ruin you?" he asks, standing at the end of the bed as he stares down at you and your disheveled appearance due to your shock.

Walking to his nightstand, he turns off his night lamp and you get a perfect view of his darkened eyes.

"Isn't that what I asked for?" you breathe out, not hiding how breathy you got all of a sudden. The adrenaline and lust do their job.

"I will ruin you until you cry." It sounds like a promise.

"You sound confident." you comment, smirking as he frowns before he hovers over you.

Not responding, he starts kissing your jaw slowly continuing down your neck as he tugs on your oversized shirt but he doesn't urge you to take it off. Nor he says anything once he pulls away, giving you a subtle smirk before he plops on his back in the middle of the bed. He lowers down onto the soft pillows.

"Come here."

You sit up, confused and curious, and make your way towards him as he ushers you to get on his lap. You do, trying not to stare at the slowly growing bulge between his thighs while he licks his lips.

"Sit on my face."

"Pardon?"

He laughs silently, making himself even more comfortable with your weight on him. "Sit on my face."

You know what that means. Despite not trying it before, you're not a clueless person to these things. You just can't believe you're actually hearing him say it.

"I know it's cliché to say this but... wouldn't I suffocate you? Because I'm not sure if I can hold myself up for too—"

"Y/N, baby," he sighs, "Just fucking come sit on my face."

"Okay." you repeat, releasing a nervous chuckle as you stare down at your shirt.

"Take it off. All of it." he prompts you and you listen.

His eyes never leave your figure, watching silently the entire time you undress right in front of him. He eyes you up and down as if you were the finest meal, even though he has seen you naked more than any of the men you've been before. Men – if they can be called that.

It's one of the things why it works so well between you and him. He makes you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. There might be times when you're nervous, wondering what he's thinking about you or your body, though he never gave you even a reason to question him about that. Jungkook might be great at hiding a lot of things, but voicing how much he likes sex with you is not one of them. You both aren't hiding this obvious fact.

He stares at your hardened nipples, before he watches you take off your underwear and toss it on the floor. And then with the slightest smirk, he motions for you to get closer to him and finally sit on his face.

You're impossibly wet, but rather than feel embarrassed about it, you get this boost of confidence and dominance once you hover over Jungkook. He grabs you by the back of your thighs, moving your heat right in front of his face as he takes in the sight. Licking his lips, he briefly tells you to grab onto the headboard.

His hot breath fans you between your thighs and you shudder, your hands grabbing the wooden headboard before he pushes you down onto his face. You gasp, both from the shock and indescribable feeling of Jungkook's mouth on you. His nose pokes your clit, tongue gathering the wetness before his mouth starts to move.

You're trying to hold yourself up, somewhere in the back of your mind still thinking about not wanting to physically hurt him but as soon as you move even an inch from his face, he growls and pushes you down.

"Holy shit."

Jungkook's mouth is preoccupied, therefore there is no time for any verbal reactions but even then, he hums pleasantly against you and you swear you hear him moaning in the middle of it.

Back arching and body moving on its own, you start grinding against his face while your knuckles turn white from how hard you're gripping the black wood. Apart from this being a completely new sensation and experience for you, you would give Jungkook the highest rate there could be. Losing a track of time and focusing on the pleasure, you inform him of being close to reaching an awesome orgasm that could easily tire you out.

Your body tenses, barely comprehending what's happening around you or even outside of this apartment, you're waiting for the sudden snap of the knot that's sitting in the pit of your stomach.

But as easily the hunt for orgasm has come, it leaves even quicker once Jungkook stops moving his mouth and pushes you up. Your face is curled in mortification, worried you might've suffocated him and the fit of scolding is on tip of your tongue once you quickly check on him.

However – despite his heavy breathing – you're met with his glistening face and mouth curved in satisfaction. "You're not cumming that easily, baby."

You get off him, staring wide-eyed with an open mouth, you stutter over your words. Is he seriously in the mood to deny your orgasm? You wanted to play but this is now what you had in mind. But before any complaints could make it into the thick air, Jungkook sits up and wipes his face with your shirt that's been laying on the edge of his bed. He tosses it on the ground, focusing on you once again as he grabs you by the back of your neck and kisses you harshly.

Annoyance comes and goes as soon as you feel his soft pillows, tasting yourself on his tongue. He hums into the kiss, detaching your lips despite your whines.

Leaning his forehead against yours, you're too close to kiss him again. As if he could read your mind, he chuckles raspily as he gently shakes his head.

"Jeon, just fuck me." you whine, pouting at him which makes him laugh again.

"I will," he promises, gently giving a rub to your chin with his thumb. "Do we need a condom?"

He asked what?

Surprised, you pull away slightly to stare at his face to make sure you heard him right, but the same question lingers in his dark awaiting eyes.

"You heard me right," he assures you, chuckling again as he can't help but find you both funny and cute. "Do we need a condom?"

You don't realize what weight his question holds, though it's pretty simple. He's asking you if you want to act upon your desire now. The one that's been on your mind for what seems like forever. Maybe now it's not the right time to be thinking how much you appreciate him asking you beforehand, even though it's a bare minimum you would discuss anyway. But still, he's waiting for your answer and the call is completely up to you. You're the one holding power.

Knowing you could easily say no for whatever reason, Jungkook has definitely a pack of condoms hidden somewhere. He's letting you know he's fine with either.

"Are you sure?" you ask silently, trying to shake yourself out of the shock as he gives you a gentle smile that almost melts your heart.

"I am," he confirms, "Are you?"

This being the last night you actually live together, it does seem like a nice way to say goodbye to you being roomies, a way to celebrate it perhaps. Or it's just your stupid thoughts but whatever it is, you've known your answer right after he asked it. All the possible arguments with yourself or annoying overthinking is pushed aside.

"We don't need it." you confirm this time, ignoring how excited you're getting by the thought.

"Then lay back for me."

You do, staring at the ceiling for a second before you watch him make his way out of the room. Confused and baffled, you mentally sigh in relief once he comes back not even a minute after, showing you the sex toy in his hand.

"Why?" you ask simply, giggling when he tosses it next to you and hover over you with a toothy grin.

"You'll see."

Opening your mouth to complain, he shuts you up with his own mouth as he gives you a few very needed kisses as he pulls away. You rank your hands down his chest and to the hem of his boxers, pouting a little.

"I wanted to have my own fun with you." you shamelessly admit, making him laugh.

"Some next time, yeah?"

"But why?" you whine, rubbing him through his underwear just to find him fully hard.

"Oh, you're impatient, aren't you?" you tease and he rolls his eyes, poking you in your rib as you giggle.

"That might be the reason. But I also need you to be fully present. You can choke on my cock some other time."

You choke on your spit, slapping his bicep as he hides his face in the crook of your neck to hide his smile. He gently bites you there, a low hum making it out of your mouth. Despite his words, you still sneak your hand under his boxers and give him a few pumps. He lets out a breathy chuckle, looking down at you through lust filled eyes.

"You just can't help yourself, can you?" he chuckles.

"Nope."

The smile on your face doesn't last long, how can it when in one swift motion, Jungkook turns you over and harshly puts your ass up, hands gripping the soft flesh. His breath fans over the side of your face before his lips brush against your ear. "Is this how you want it?"

Honestly, you don't care in what position he puts you in. As long as he finally fucks you.

"Yeah. Just please, do something." you whine a little, perching your ass up much to his amusement.

He palms your ass. "Last chance, Y/N." Jungkook reminds you, causing you to lift your face up as you glance at him.

Blowing out a slow breath, you crack a tiny grin. "You want me to change my mind?" you tease, but raise your brow while you wait for his answer.

"Just reminding you because there's no going back."

The only reason he's reminding you of this is because of you. At the beginning, you had a hard time admitting out loud you want him like this. Most people probably don't take this seriously just as much as you do. You've been unsure from the start, though the excitement and curiosity has been piqued. You're responsible, always took precautionary measures – both of you did – because you're not in a position to risk anything. Jungkook and you don't sleep with other people, that's the whole point of you hooking up together in the first place. But you both still made sure you were safe.

But now you're about to take that part of safety away. It makes you a little paranoid, considering Jungkook's previous situation but it's not fair to compare it to that. That's what has been stopping you from fully saying fuck it and just do it. But you want to do exactly that.

Why is this even a big deal?

People have unprotected sex all the time. You and Jungkook know each other, and trust each other. He's not a stranger. You'll do this one time and you're done. You'll quench your curiosity, excitement and thirst – everything will go back to normal.

You're done overthinking this. This is what you want. What you both want.

And Jungkook is still here, making sure he won't possibly ruin things. He wants to check in with you, even now when you're seconds from pinning him to the mattress and doing things your own way.

"I know," you whisper. "I don't want to go back. I won't."

He studies your face for a second longer, leaning toward you as he presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder blade. You shiver, arching your ass as it brushes over his length making him chuckle at your anticipation.

"Alright, let's do this. Let me ruin you."

"I'm all yours." you comment amusingly, facing forward as Jungkook lets out a soft laugh.

Fuck, this is really happening. Your heart is racing when you hear Jungkook taking off his boxers, going back to his previous position that is behind you. The mattress dips under his weight and knees, hands gripping your ass as he spreads your cheek apart. Cool air hits you between your thighs, your core aching for him and only him. Fuck, you've never wanted him inside you this much.

"You're dripping baby." he says as the tip of his fingers touches your wetness, rubbing you up and down which makes you let out a shameless whimper.

"Don't comment on that, it's embarrassing." you manage to choke out, cheek pressed back against the sheets while your breathing quickens up.

Jungkook breathes out another chuckle, "I find it hot."

He retrieves his fingers, something you only feel and ready to whine again, you're interrupted when you hear a humming sound coming from his lips as he licks his fingers off. Holy shit. There's no time to look back, to see the devouring sight that's stolen from you because of your position. All is forgotten when the long awaiting friction suddenly comes, the head of his cock poking your clit as he smears your wetness there. You're a fucking mess. 

Embarrassed to admit this, you're already close to cumming and he has barely done anything. You're not kidding, you're going crazy because of this.

One hand on your hip to hold you in place and get a good grip on you, his other hand is wrapped around his cock as he aligns it with your hole. Holding your breath, your whole body tingles with anticipation and excitement. And then finally. The head of his cock presses against your opening, sinking inside you as your wet and warm walls stretch around him. Since you haven't been stretched before this, the pressure brings the greatest pain and pleasure at the same time and holy fuck, it feels like you're in an entire different universe. You feel every inch of him, everything you haven't felt before because of the stupid barrier in form of condoms. And even knowing that he's still pushing himself inside you, you know it's going to be freaking hard to go back to condoms.

Whole body shuddering, you let out a low, almost inaudible moan into the sheets, gripping them in your fists as Jungkook finally fills you to the brim. Oh my god.

"Mhm, fuck." he mutters behind you, his cock twitching inside you.

The completely new feeling comes rushing down on you as your whole body crumbles down, walls clenching around his thick and hard length as you shamelessly grind and let go. This has never happened to you before, the realization not hitting you until you calm down from your high.

"Holy fuck. Did you just cum?" Jungkook asks in awe, hands gripping your ass even tighter.

Fuck, you really did. 

It's more than clear to him. He could never mistake your orgasm for something else. But rather than tease you about it, he finds it hot and has a hard time controlling himself.

His cock is nestled deep inside you, still stretching your walls and despite your previous orgasm, your thirst is not fully quenched.

"Fuck." you moan into the sheets.

"You're so fucking hot. I might bust my nut." The idea of him doing it, filling you up feels so forbidden and dirty. The feeling that it brings is unexplainable.

He feels you clenching around him, arousal coating his entire cock and it makes him wonder. "Fuck, does that idea excite you?"

You're even dirtier than he thought. You never fail to amaze him.

He knows he can't expect any sort of response from you, your body calling to him and he decides to listen to it, delivering you the pleasure he promised he would. So with one swift movement, he pulls out enough for the head of his cock to stay inside you as he thrusts back inside. You can't speak, no words escaping you to tell him how fucking good that feels but he knows it. He sees how your body reacts, he feels it.

He groans, tilting his head back as he starts snapping his hips into yours, fucking you just like he promised. His lower abdomen hits your ass cheeks as the sounds of your skin meeting fill up the air. It's nothing you've ever imagined or dreamed of. This is way better. Breaths coming out as moans, you swallow hard when you catch yourself almost salivating at the sensation and friction.

There are no words exchanged, both of you barely able to speak as keeps his pace and hits all the right spots. You feel him almost in your stomach, the dominance of his thrusts bringing you pain and pleasure.

You're close to losing it. You nearly do but then Jungkook halts all his thrusts, pulling out before he puts you onto your back.

He has never seen you so fucked out already. But your eyes are on him, surprised at the sudden change but the lust filled in them is unmistakable. He's glad he left the lights turned on, or else he wouldn't be able to admire what a pretty sight you are.

The same thing goes for you. Jungkook is driven by the lust, his entire face glowing as he traces his tattooed hand over your chest. Taking you by your thighs, he pulls you closer to him – fast and harshly – spreading your legs as he aligns with your opening again.

You both stare at each other, Jungkook dropping his eyes between your bodies for a second before he pushes in. His eyes stay on you, your own fighting to close as the same and most addicting pleasure rushes through your entire body. But you force and keep them open, both of you moaning as he fills you up. The angle is different this time, his cock pressing onto the opposite side of you and you swear if you pressed on your stomach, you would be able to feel him.

However, you don't dare to move. You're too scared to cum again and you're not sure for how long you can go before your body shuts down.

He grips you by the back of your thighs, keeping his hands there as he starts fucking you again. He watches you with dark and lust filled eyes, biting onto his lower lip harshly when you grip the sheets beside you, turning your knuckles white. With each thrust he makes, your breasts bounce, his eyes shifting between them and your own eyes before he averts his gaze to your bodies meeting.

He's watching the way he disappears inside you, his entire cock glistening with your wetness as it drips down your ass and his balls while your clit is swollen and nipples perked up. Holy fuck.

"You like it?" he asks, finding his voice that comes out way raspier than you both expect. "You like feeling my cock like this, huh?"

"Mhm, yes, fuck." you moan, shutting your eyes in pleasure as your mouth stays open.

You're left gasping, no other words leaving your mouth when he pulls out, just to press your thighs together and angling your legs to the left, as they stay pressed against the mattress before he enters you. The change of the new position makes you see stars, your teeth biting into your lower lip harshly as he's rougher this time. He's hovering over you, hands beside your body as your body shakes with pleasure.

It's safe to say you're in a complete another world right now. The amount of pleasure you're experiencing right now – you've never had that before and it feels so fucking good that it has your eyes water. You can't even make out what you're saying, every word coming out as a moan or gasp instead. But you're not loud. You're not screaming your lungs out, informing all the neighbors about your doings even though Jungkook could care less about that.

Instead, the sounds you make are soft and almost innocent like, it makes Jungkook go feral because you're anything but innocent in this moment. You're so fucked out, completely swallowed by the lust and approaching orgasm. You feel like a fucking trophy. Any guy having a woman in their bed acting like this would feel like the king of the world.

He grips the side of your face, your eyes slowly opening as you share a look. You get even tighter, Jungkook's hips halting for a second before he continues the same pace. Hand lowering to your neck, you grip his wrist and prompt him to wrap his hand around it. That's exactly what he did. You can't remember when was the last time he had his hand around your neck, the memories of it are almost faded as he gently applies pressure.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He's careful, you know he is and he never squeezes your neck to the point you would have trouble breathing. Yet his hand feels heavy and it has your eyes rolling back. I'm close, you want to say but fail miserably.

Despite Jungkook's roughness, he's still delicate in other matters because he knows. He's watching you the entire time, listening to your body and your orgasm approaching doesn't go unnoticed by him.

"Cum around my cock, baby." And that's all you need for you to let go, not even five seconds after he says it that your whole body tenses before the knot snaps inside you.

He hisses, feeling you clenching around him uncontrollably as he keeps his pace until he's forced to slow down and eventually stops once he sees you overstimulated. Pulling out, his cock slaps against his stomach, red and angry.

You open your eyes, finding Jungkook watching you as you give him a lazy smile. "I'm in heaven."

A rumble of laughter leaves his mouth, leaving you giggling as well as he brushes a few strands of your hair off your face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fucking great," you hum, catching the cocky and pleased smirk he gives you. "Give me a minute."

He leans on his knees, trying to ignore his cock screaming for attention as your eyes shamelessly stare at it. "You sure?"

"You wanted to ruin me, no?" you joke, Jungkook's lips twitching as he cocks his head to the side.

"Aren't you ruined?"

To be honest, what state you're in is not what he had in mind. There is still more he's got prepared for you, but he wouldn't want to push you past your boundaries. You already look like you're fucked out, but considering you're cracking a grin and talking to him seems like you're doing fine, still high from the mindblowing orgasm.

"'m fine. You can ruin me some more." you grin again lazily, making your legs more comfortable as you stretch them right in front of him. In your defense, it's not about flashing him but not wanting to have a cramp from the position he had you in.

But you still enjoy the way his eyes avert down between your swollen cunt, a cum mixed with your arousal dripping out of your hole. He makes you feel sexy. Especially when he looks up, meeting your gaze as you give him a sheepish smile, not embarrassed by what he sees. Because it's all thanks to him.

"Come here." you tell him, motioning with your finger to come closer as he arches a brow.

He hovers over you, silently watching as you wrap your hand around his neck while the other brushes over his chest. And then you say with the silent and most delicate voice; "Kiss me."

"You want to kiss?" he amusingly asks, pecking your lips even though a peck wasn't what you had in mind and he knows it. Teasing sh–

But he kisses you again, this time his tongue brushing against yours as he fully devours your mouth. "Have to get into the mood." you inform him between the kisses, using the moment for you to catch a breath.

"Mhm, you're no longer in the mood?" he hums against your lips as you giggle.

His hard cock brushes against your entrance and you have to control yourself from whimpering. You're all hot again, definitely not done for tonight but you're still very sensitive.

Jungkook's breath fans over your jaw, teeth nibbling onto your jaw as he says in a low tone. "We can arrange that."

Just when you think he's about to kiss you, he shoots you a smirk as he inches down, eyes still locked with yours. It's until he focuses on the swollen mess between your thighs and gives a gentle kiss to your clit. You gasp, flinching from the sensation as he looks up from between your legs to check your reaction.

"Think you can take it?"

Can you? 

You're not sure what possesses you, you know you're still sensitive down there and need a little bit of time to recover but you nod, spreading your legs even more, inviting him to continue. And god, he does. He has no mercy on you, attaching his mouth onto your cunt as he starts eating you out.

He grabs you by your thighs, mumbling a deep; "Stop running."

Not even a minute later, the complete lust comes back and there's no trace of overstimulation as you grind against his mouth that's been doing wonders. Your hands are uncontrollable, gripping and tugging onto Jungkook's hair as he growls into your center, listening to your pleas.

"I can't. I can't. I need you inside me." you plead between your moans, two orgasms already overcame which can't be said about Jungkook, who has put your pleasure first.

That's not fair, you think. Besides, you want him inside you again.

Jungkook pulls out with his chin completely drenched in your wetness, the sight making you gulp. He wipes it with the back of his hand, smearing some of it onto the sheets as he straightens up, pumping his cock slowly with his eyes set on you.

You rest onto your elbows, lifting yourself while you watch him jerking himself off. You just can't seem to pull your eyes away.

"Are you gonna spread yourself out for me or you just want to watch?" he smirks.

Ignoring his cocky attitude, you can't even react as you gulp down the saliva that gathered in your mouth. You sit up, shifting your eyes to his gaze as you turn around and get back on all fours.

"Fuck," You hear behind you. "You're the death of me."

Proudly smirking, you throw him a pleased and cocky look across your shoulder. "You love staring at my backside that much?" you tease.

Both of you know it's you who loves this position. Both of you do actually, but this time it's you who does it automatically.

One of the rare times you get to tease him and actually feel like you're doing a good job, is when Jungkook shamelessly shows his admiration or whatever it is. He's not ashamed to compliment you or show how much he loves fucking you. But it's this never ending game between you two, one you always lose because Jungkook is one step ahead of you. Whenever you feel like you've won, he does a checkmate.

Just like now.

He slaps your asscheek, chest brushing against your back as he hovers over your ear and says with the lustful voice full of desire. "Shame I can't see your pretty face though."

Your body grows hot at that, cheeks flaming hot at the blunt compliment that makes you clench around nothing. This is the time where you've no idea whether he says this kind of stuff to make you all hot, to fluster you or because he really means it. Whatever he's doing, it's working and you're practically willing to do anything for him at this moment.

You haven't had many sex partners in your life to begin with, but none of them had such a dirty mouth and power to say such things to you. Damn, some time ago you never even knew this was your kind of thing. Jungkook has taught you so much, but most importantly you learned much about yourself thanks to him. Maybe he's not even realizing it but you are.

There's no beating around the bush, no more talking as Jungkook guides his hard cock to your opening and slowly enters you again. He lets out a pleased sigh, followed by a silent moan from you as your walls welcome him again. The sensation feels like the first time all over again. Someone would think you got used to it, this being the second time Jungkook enters you with no protection and barrier between you, but no. You can't get used to it, meaning it feels just as amazing when he entered you like this the first time.

One hand on your hip to hold you in place, he gives your asscheek a rough squeeze as he moves his other hand up and grabs you by the back of your neck. He gives you no warning this time, though maintains his gentle manner when he starts thrusting into you. You writhe beneath him in pleasure, moaning his name and pleas as he picks up the pace and makes your body grow even hotter.

Beads of sweat coats your skin, your mouth open in an absolute pleasure and desire. He keeps holding you down, getting needier and rougher with his thrusts while you can't even think straight. When you thought your eyes were watering before, it's even more intense now as your tears start pricking your eyes. He lets go off your neck, delivering your ass a proper slap and you lift yourself up, gripping the sheets beneath you as tears stream down your cheeks.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." you cry out. You've never heard yourself to be this desperate before. Let alone for a man. Sex does wonders. Jungkook does wonders.

"Fuck, look at me." he says, ushering to meet his gaze as you barely angle your face to look at him.

He leans what seems like toward you but you're mistaken when shortly after, you hear a familiar buzzing and before your fucked out mind can comprehend what he's doing, he's pressing the sex toy against your clit. A new wave and uncontrollable pleasure washes over you, leaving you sobbing loudly while Jungkook curses behind you. His eyes are shut, head leaned back as you get a clear sight of a line of sweat trailing down his neck and chest. He opens those dark lust filled eyes, your eyes meeting again and that's the final end for you.

He has officially ruined you. 

You've never cum harder, your body on fire and trembling as your walls squeeze him repeatedly as you squirt all over yourself. Jungkook audibly curses again, growling when your orgasm dies down and you have barely any strength to hold yourself up. It all happens quickly as he pulls out of you, gets you on your back as you stare at him through teary and exhausted eyes. He jerks off quickly, throwing his head back and cums with the deepest moan, spilling all over your stomach and chest.

Both of you sweaty and chests heaving rapidly, Jungkook hangs his head low as he looks at you through his fringe falling onto his eyes, some of the strands sticking to his forehead and face.

It's hard to describe exactly what you're feeling. Your heartbeat is in your ears, your chest hurts from how you're trying to catch a breath and amongst this all, you feel like you're ten seconds from passing out.

Even through his harsh breathing and his own need to calm down, he gets closer to you and cups your face. "Are you with me, baby?"

Baby? What's he thinking? He has already ruined you, there's no need for more.

You give him a brief nod, your eyes closing.

"Shit."

Why does he sound so alarmed? 

"Look at me baby."

You do. You're aware of what he's saying, you're not literally passing out but your body needs a minute or two to recover. You just can't seem to properly react.

You're met with concerned eyes as Jungkook squeezes your cheeks to get a proper look at you. You lick your lips, letting out a tired and amused chuckle. "Thought you killed me? You're not gonna get rid of me so easily." you say completely exhausted, sounding like you could be high or wasted.

He only stares, a beat of silence before his whole face and body relaxes as he lets out a sigh and chuckle of relief. Still, he lets his eyes linger all over your face as he watches you. You crack a smile, wiping your forehead with the back of your head as he brushes your hair off your sweaty forehead.

"You squirted all over me." he teases lightly.

"You came all over my stomach. We're even." you joke, getting a warmed sound laugh from him.

"You cried." he comments, wiping your cheeks. "It was hot."

"You ruined me." you comment back with a tired chuckle.

"You wanted to get ruined."

"Hm, I did." you hum.

He cracks a smile. "I'll bring you water, alright? I'll be right back and wipe the mess off you."

"Mhm." You close your eyes again, feeling like you can breathe again as Jungkook rushes out of the room to get you the water.

He comes back not even a minute after with a glass and a towel, ushering to sit down and drink the whole glass. You do as he watches you every second, barely blinking. Rolling your eyes, he does the same before he starts wiping his cum from your stomach and chest. He moves to between your thighs shortly after, cursing under his breath when he sees how swollen you are. You start wincing as soon as he starts.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he apologizes quickly, wincing as if it hurt him too when the overstimulation is too uncomfortable.

He goes away to toss the towel to the laundry basket and comes back shortly after wearing shorts, finding you sitting on the edge of his bed. It makes him laugh at how innocent you look, despite you're still completely naked.

"I'm going to shower." you announce before he gives you a dubious look.

"Will you manage by yourself?"

"Yeah." you tell him, standing up too abruptly which makes you stumble.

He quickly moves to catch you, biting back a laugh when you're about to take a step and wince. You shoot him a glare, silently telling him it's his fault. The soreness you currently feel between your legs is making it hard to walk. You're so sore already, wondering how the hell you're going to walk and function properly tomorrow.

Jungkook lets you go, leaving you to wash yourself as you embarrassingly limp to the bathroom. When you're in the shower, palms against the warm and wet tiles, you replay everything that has happened. You can't believe you and Jungkook did this. You bite your lips to prevent yourself from squealing, washing away all the sweat and body fluids off your body.

In the midst of it, Jungkook knocks on the door and brings you clothes, leaving after he checks on you.

After Jungkook's turn to wash himself, he joins you in the bed where you're dozing off. "So, what are you sayin'? Did you like it?"

"Honestly?" you ask, nibbling on your bottom lip as Jungkook hums. You chuckle at yourself as you admit; "It's gonna be hard to use condoms again."

Why the hell did you just say that? You mentally scold yourself. Now you sound like you don't want protected sex. Perhaps you're overreacting because Jungkook never sounds like you assume things will be different. You both know it's responsible for you to use them again. It was never spoken but it's clear this was one time thing.

"And how are you feeling?"

"So fucking sore," you complain, whining. "I won't be able to move in tomorrow! This has been your plan all along, right? Admit it." you joke, making him laugh.

"You got me."

You both laugh, tiredly and lazily until your laugh dies down. "Kook?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think, um... how to say it?"

"Just say it."

Argh! This thought crossed your mind while you were showering. You feel content. You're not exactly paranoid and surprisingly, you're not freaking out over having sex without a condom. You're happy and you wouldn't change your decision. You regret nothing.

Fumbling with your fingers on top of the freshly changed sheets, you bite the inside of your cheek.

"Do you think maybe I should buy a morning after pill? Just in case..."

Jungkook stays silent but gives his answer seconds after. "If it makes you feel better," he says lightly.

You're on birth control, you haven't missed your pills and you have no knowledge if you can still take a morning after pill. Groaning, you reach for your phone and start doing your research in the middle of the night.

"Okay. It says here there's no need since I'm on the pill." you inform, not even sure if Jungkook is awake before he hums tiredly in return. You roll your eyes at him. "Yah!" you whisper harshly.

"Relax. I didn't even cum inside you."

"Okay but there's always a chance!" you exclaim as Jungkook sighs.

"That would have to be a fucking luck, that's all I'm saying." he mutters into his pillow, turning with his back to you. Men.

He had luck in that department, you think. He was surely having sex with her more often, unprotected for sure and you're also sure he finished inside her most of the time. Argh, why the fuck are you thinking about this and their sex life?

Groaning at yourself, you lock your phone and place it back onto the nightstand. It's better to finally surrender to exhaustion, hoping you'll at least get a good sleep despite the throb and soreness between your legs. Everything's going to be just fine.

"Oh shit! This place is actually nice!"

Looking at Taehyung in a silent offense, you snort at his huge grin as he looks around your new place. Boxes are everywhere and most of your things don't have their own place, but it looks pretty good either way – especially if Taehyung says it with an impressed look while Jimin joins him.

"I know, right? Come on guys, I will show you around."

"Where's Jungkook?" Jimin asks as Taehyung snaps his head in his direction.

"In the bedroom, assembling my bed again." you laugh, feeling actually bad for him to do that again since it's not that long when he did it at his own place.

Taehyung laughs, though it sounds forced which makes you narrow your eyes at him as you silently question him. "Why are you so awkward?"

"Come on, let's go." Jimin says, placing his hand on your back as he leads you further down the apartment.

You glance confusingly at them before shaking your head. What's wrong with them? They meet Jungkook after you give them a quick tour and shortly after, they help you unpack some of your stuff. Taehyung and Jimin stay in the living room while you keep hopping between them and Jungkook who is soon done with your bed. You order three pizzas for all of you, a nice gesture as a 'thank you' that they decided to help you because you couldn't do it without them. They're a huge help.

Although, Jimin is surprisingly quiet and when you went to check on them earlier, you found him and Taehyung bickering. If that's what it was but they quickly went silent once they spotted you.

You're not sure if Jungkook has noticed it but he hasn't said anything so far, quietly munching on the pizza with pouty lips and big eyes. You steal glances at Jimin who barely says anything and Taehyung is surprisingly quiet too, even though he tries to break the silence with awkward small talk or jokes which aren't like him.

"What's with you?" you ask, interrupting Taehyung in the midst of his 'casual joking' as he shuts his mouth and puts it into a straight line before he sighs.

The empty boxes of pizzas are gone, ready to be thrown out once there will be more boxes to take outside. You bought beer for all of you as well, wanting to have a mini-party with them at your new place.

Jimin's eyes don't look too different and his face doesn't say much which makes you question his unusual behavior. You're clearly missing out something and even Jungkook studies Jimin with scrunched brows.

"You're being suspiciously quiet today." you voice out your thoughts, seeing Jimin giving you a look – one that confirms your assumptions.

"You guys are quiet today too." he points out and you make a weird face because he doesn't make any sense.

"We've been literally talking almost every minute." you chuckle, giving him a weird look.

"Yet you never mentioned you guys are hooking up again." he bluntly calls you and Jungkook out, noticing the edge in his voice as you feel your stomach drop. For a second, you're assured you've heard him wrong and you must be hallucinating.

You awkwardly choke on your spit, glancing at Jungkook who's simply staring at Jimin but you see surprise in his eyes too, though his reaction is more subtle and controlled which can't be said about you. Jimin leans against the couch, lifting a brow at the both of you as you look at Taehyung whose face is burning with guilt. And you don't need any more answers because you give Taehyung an unimpressed look.

"It happened! I'm sorry guys!" he quickly exclaims, shooting his arms all over the place. "I got drunk and somehow–"

"Somehow you managed to tell him about this." you deadpan and Jimin sighs next to Taehyung.

"Don't get angry at him," Jimin says calmly, "Why didn't you guys tell me?"

You press your lips together, feeling bad for not telling him sooner but in fact, there weren't many opportunities. You didn't want to tell him such a private matter like "Oh, and by the way me and Jungkook are hooking up" – not that he has to know in the first place. But being friends with them for years now, you learned that you guys tell each other many things.

"We wanted to." Jungkook butts in, saving you from having to explain yourself through guilt. He sounds casual – not making it a big deal and you appreciate that. Jungkook has always been better at these things. You let your emotions get the best of you.

"And to be fair, Taehyung only knows by an accident." he adds, pointing out some important facts as Taehyung snorts.

"Yeah, found them in the kitchen with Jungkook's hands all over Y/N's ass." he snorts again and you shoot him a glare while Jimin scrunches his nose.

"I waited the whole day for you guys to tell me," Jimin says, "It's not like I'm mad at you for not telling me. But do you guys think it's a good idea?"

"Huh?" you blurt out as Jimin scowls.

"You are seriously hooking up?"

"Isn't that what we are talking about?" Jungkook mutters while Jimin shoots him a glare.

"You guys are gonna ruin your friendship." Jimin informs. Your mouth hangs open while Jungkook scoffs at Jimin's sharp words while Taehyung gives Jimin an offended look as if those words were aimed at him.

"Jimin–"

"No, they need to hear this. You've been best friends for years, the thing you did before was fucking stupid but this? You're choosing to just sleep with each other? You're seriously willing to risk your friendship for sex?"

Jimin words are sharp but they hold a truth to them as well. It's everything you're afraid of too but you convinced yourself this is just a period of time where you have fun. You and Jungkook made sure it's pretty chill and casual. And just like with your friendship, not many people fully understand you.

Jimin isn't particularly rude or sounds angry, he's just blunt and serious which is enough of a shock to you. He's always been soft spoken, even if honest, and you know he means well. Despite his words, his eyes remain somehow gentle even if there's a pinch of seriousness.

And you're left with no words leaving your mouth, taken aback, wishing that you could react somehow. But right now, it feels like a slap to your face from Jimin.

"I don't see how it's any of your business, Jimin-ah." Jungkook says, stealing a glance at your distraught face.

"Of course it's not. But you two are being reckless, so I'm just reminding you."

"So they fuck, and what?" Taehyung deadpans, "Let them have their fun."

"Taehyung-ah, excuse me but the only thing you know about relationships is fun. That is if that even can be considered as something related to a relationship."

"Yah, fuck you!" Taehyung exclaims and you would snicker at that under different circumstances for sure. "You suddenly got a girlfriend and you think you're a master of relationships? Just let them be. It's their decision and stop scaring them."

"I'm not scaring them," Jimin shakes his head with a chuckle before he looks up at you, his features softening as his eyes keep jumping between you and Jungkook. "Guys, I just think you need to hear this. And to be honest, I'm shocked to know you've been doing this for god knows how long. I thought you're smarter than that but you're fucking risking and that's the end of it."

"We have it under control." Jungkook informs him.

"Yeah, don't let those words bite you in the ass later." Jimin reminds him with a whistle which makes Jungkook frown and you stare at the two of them.

"Can we stop?" you speak up, slapping your knees in the process as you gain their attention.

"Y/N," Jimin says softly, inching closer to you as you stare at him with big and sad eyes. "You guys are totally entitled to do whatever you want. I just don't want you guys to ruin your friendship with this. I've thought your friendship is precious and special, not this special."

Your cheeks heat up. "And it is special." you whisper.

It's clear that Jimin doesn't approve any of this and you're aware that he is right. There are many risks you took – both of you – but in the end, you want to do this and you don't want to overthink it.

"You and Jungkook know the best, so I'm not gonna butt into this any more than I already have. I just want you guys to be reasonable and smart."

"Well, thank you for your input but we got it." Jungkook clasps his hands together and you crack a grin as the atmosphere loosens up a little.

"Yeah, they got it. Let them fuck." Taehyung shrugs and all of you burst into laughter.

"Can we not talk about this? Or make a big deal out of it? Me and Jungkook are fine, still best friends, right?" you say, looking at Jungkook who leans back and nods in your direction.

"Yeah, besties for life." He sends everyone a 'peace' sign as Jimin laughs while shaking his head.

"Right," Jimin nods, "Just don't hurt each other, okay?"

"I would never." Jungkook says immediately and you can only agree.

Jimin opens his mouth as if he's about to say something but then he closes it, changing his mind at the last minute. "Alright, you guys know what you're doing." he ends the topic with a simple sentence and all of you leave it at that.

"Okay, those two fuck each other, shocking. But we still haven't met your girlfriend. What is even her name? Does she exist?" Taehyung cocks his brow at Jimin who suddenly turns a little shy, grinning as he licks his bottom lip.

"She exists," he laughs, "Her name is Rin." he answers casually.

"Wait? Where is she from?"

"Japan."

"Oh my fucking god!" Taehyung rolls his eyes. "Let's pray she is nothing like Kiko then."

Your hand is over your mouth immediately while Jungkook frowns at him and Jimin looks offended.

"How did you meet her anyway?" But Taehyung remains unbothered as always, waving his hand as Jimin clears his throat.

"In a club?" Jimin asks as if it's not obvious. "We weren't spending our free time on other places too much." He reminds him as Taehyung utters 'True'.

"Wait," Taehyung suddenly stops. "Is she the girl you fucked a few months ago? The cute Japanese?"

Jimin's face reddens and all of you get an answer as Jungkook smirks, trying to hide it by tracing his fingers over his lips.

"Taehyung-ah."

"Look at you, getting all shy. I think I'm gonna be sick."

All of you burst into laughter, well excluding Jimin who pokes his elbow into Taehyung's side.

"Well, I think it's cute." you butt in, trying to save Jimin in this situation but all you get is a snicker from Taehyung in return.

"What's cute about it? He fucked the girl once and now he's dating her."

"Hey! You find love in all places."

"Yeah, yeah," he waves you off. "I heard Japanese females are loud and whiny in bed. Is that true?" he asks straight-forwardly and shamelessly stares at Jimin and Jungkook.

"Haven't you fucked a Japanese woman?" Jungkook asks instead, arching his brow as Taehyung rubs his chin in a deep thought.

"Yeah, I might've. The one or two I fucked were, so that's why I'm asking. Are all of them like that?"

The man has no shame.

"Taehyung." you mutter his name, scrunching your nose at the topic as he defensively looks at you.

"What? Are you whiny and loud too?"

You gasp, slapping his shoulder before Jungkook speaks up; "She can be."

It's the fact he says it with the utmost confidence and pride, your entire face feeling like it's on fire as you scold him loudly.

"Ew, I really don't want to hear about my two friends fucking. Thanks." Jimin mutters in disgust as Taehyung grins.

"You all are getting too soft." Taehyung comments, still with a grin as you roll your eyes.

"And you're getting too annoying, nosy–"

"Alright I get it, I get it." Taehyung shuts you up with his palm over your mouth. You lick his skin, expecting him to pull away but it's like he awaited you to do it because he doesn't pull away.

He grins instead and says; "Mhmm, more." He fakes a moan before he starts laughing like a maniac when you start slapping his arm, his hand eventually letting go off your mouth.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Taehyung suddenly jumps to his feet, giving you a curled smirk before he walks to his bag. "I brought you, uh, think of this as a housewarming gift."

"I didn't know we were bringing anything." Jimin mutters, pouting a little as he sheepishly scratches the back of his head while Jungkook frowns as well.

"You guys don't have to–what the fuck?!" you exclaim, your mouth hanging open as Taehyung turns around with a pair of pink and fluffy handcuffs, twirling them on his index finger.

It's an understatement that all of you stare at him as he comes up to you with a smirk and tosses the handcuffs into your lap as you stare at the object as if you have never seen it before. You never held one in your hands, that's for sure.

"Don't worry, they're new. Not used." Taehyung assures you, plopping on his previous spot as you glance at Jungkook who stares with big eyes at the handcuffs, just as surprised as all of you, before he relaxes and leans back into the chair.

"Wow, thank you for your thoughtfulness." you mutter dryly as Taehyung snorts.

You tuck your index over the opening, letting the handcuffs hang in the air as you inspect it. Tilting your brow at Taehyung, you give him a questioning look as he grins and shrugs.

"Just wanted to give you something fun."

"Yeah, and what's more fun than a pair of handcuffs?" you beam sarcastically as Taehyung grins even more.

"Right? A proper Taehyung gift!"

"I've got no words." Jimin mutters while you place the handcuffs next to you as Jungkook suddenly reaches for them.

Staring with an open mouth, you watch him twirl it in his hands as he shoots you a grin. "Thanks Taehyung, they'll come handy."

You ignore how much your body buzzes with a newfound excitement, rather focusing on the noise Jimin makes. A noise of disgust and annoyance as his whole face scrunches in one.

Deciding it's better to redirect the attention to somewhere else, you stand up and usher them to help you with the remaining boxes as they grunt but obey. That's why they're here after all. To help you.

Jimin and Taehyung start bickering, Jimin scolding him for even thinking of buying you such a thing and considering you know what he thinks of your arrangement with Jungkook, he surely voiced his opinion about it to Taehyung too.

Jungkook is the only one who's still sitting on his previous spot, now that the guys went to your bedroom it leaves you two alone. You catch the handcuffs from Jungkook's hands, trying not to melt at how lustful he looks with his legs spread and lap looking inviting.

"I will take this." you tell him, sounding tempted and teasing as Jungkook watches you with the biggest smirk on his lips.

"Be my guest."

You hear behind you as Jungkook follows you in your tracks and you give yourself a few deep breaths before you have to face your friends, and most importantly Jungkook, again.

Your friends leave late at night, apart from Jungkook who kindly decides to help you organize your small kitchen. Of course, Taehyung couldn't help but tease you on his way out, not forgetting to yell "Have fun" as Jimin cringed and tugged him out of your place. He didn't forget to imply Jungkook is staying at your place tonight either.

Despite your friend's teasing, he's still planning to go back home.

"You know, don't listen to Taehyung. You can still stay the night, it's late anyway." you speak not even a minute after they're gone, putting the cutlery to its designed storage box in your top cupboard.

It's not that big of a problem for him to get home. His car is parked in front of your building and the drive to his home is not even that long. On another note, you've been organizing and moving furniture all day until you decide to have a little hang-outs in between, which mostly consisted of you pouring the guys drinks and eating some snacks. It's a simple idea, one you're not against and from the looks of it, Jungkook is not either.

He still decided to stay a bit longer, helping you with your kitchen so you can start using it tomorrow morning with no problem. "I thought you wanted to get rid of me."

The teasing tone of his voice makes you crack a tired chuckle, giving him a short glance before you get back to your task.

"It's impossible to get rid of you, Jeon Jungkook." you joke, "I kinda like having you in my life though."

"Is that so?" he hums, cocking his brow teasingly.

"Mhm." you laugh, shutting the cupboard as you move onto the next one below where the rest of the kitchen tools will be.

He finishes placing plates in one of the cupboards, moving onto mugs and glasses where you assigned their place.

"Listen," he starts, clearing his throat. "About what Jimin said... are you okay?"

Besides moving into your new place being the top event of today, Jimin finding out and then giving you a lecture was big enough of an event itself. It's not something that is easily forgotten and even after that conversation was over, it still lingered at the back of your mind as you mildly felt embarrassed. You've never had that. You never felt embarrassed to do your own thing with Jungkook, no matter what anyone else would say.

Taehyung is the most supportive friend when it comes to this. Perhaps it has something to do with his own choice of lifestyle, but it doesn't matter. He still gets it. Sure, Jimin never intended to make you feel embarrassed and he's pretty much clueless about your inner feelings his words brought in you. His words still made more damage than you want to admit.

Glancing at Jungkook, you find his concerned eyes on you, the same ones you were staring at yesterday when you had a memorable moment together.

"It's just... he was a little harsh with his words and I wanted to check on you."

You know what he means. It's exactly what you were thinking about just a moment ago. Jimin is a reasonable friend. Incredibly caring too. Whereas Taehyung is up for any fun and loves freedom, supports freedom. Both of them are right in their own ways, you don't deny that.

"That was expected of him," you give him a forced chuckle, one that Jungkook easily detects and makes his brows furrow. But it's not something to worry about and you make sure to let him know. "I get what his point was."

"Yeah, I think we all gathered that." Jungkook mutters, making you snort.

"But what about you? Are you okay?"

"I can handle Jimin anytime." he answers, grinning while he makes you laugh.

Jungkook handles most things better than you. He's far more collected and doesn't let too much stuff get to him. Even though Jimin rooted some sort of doubts inside your head, you and Jungkook know the best how things truly are between you.

"Are you staying the night?" you ask, changing the topic after coming to the conclusion that you have no interest in overthinking this any longer.

Jungkook brings you peace and the trust between you is stronger than anything else.

"Do you want me to?" he teases.

Groaning, you throw your head back. "You really want me to say it, huh?"

"Hm, maybe."

Rolling your eyes at him, you purse your lips. "You're free to stay here. It's late anyway."

Jungkook lips twitch in amusement, though he doesn't comment on you purposely not saying it. "Fine. But I gotta wake up early."

"Early for what?"

"Gym."

"Oh my god. For real?" He really wants to wake up early for a gym?

He doesn't look offended by your lack of excitement for his healthy and active life-style at all. Rather than that, he finds it funny.

"Yeah. And then I've got one afternoon photoshoot to do."

"Okay, then we should go to bed. I can finish this tomorrow." you tell him, shutting the cupboards. He doesn't protest, both of you simultaneously letting out a yawn which makes you both laugh again.

It's been a long day and after taking a shower with Jungkook joining you in your bed shortly after, you fall asleep in a matter of seconds. You don't tell him but you're truly thankful for not only his help but his presence too. Whatever the reason behind him staying is, you're glad you're not your first night here alone and you have him by your side. Even when he's not there when you wake up, leaving you a note beside your bed.

"Gonna miss you roomie. Enjoy your new place and see you soon. – Kook"

The next time you see your friends is a few days after you've moved into your new place. The constant back and forth between trying to plan the camping trip in the group chat has caused you enough headaches throughout the week. It's not only up to you, Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung, but also their other friends that are coming too. No one expected for this to be easy but finding the right date, so everyone could go, has been the toughest task of the week.

Luckily, in the end everyone agreed on a date which happens to be the next weekend. You've had enough time to make your place fully liveable, decorated it to your wishes while your bank account is close to being empty. That's if you don't count the small savings you managed to not touch for your friend's vacation that is yet to be discussed. You're already scared.

The four of you are about to discuss further details that don't involve the rest of the group as much. It would be logical of you to go all together in one car – and that's how you thought it would be.

"Namjoon and Hoseok are bringing tents. And there's gonna be two rented caravans for some to sleep in. So I agree with Y/N, we should all go in one car. It saves money." Jimin says after your logical suggestion, which you didn't even think is up to debate because it just makes sense.

"Makes sense. Honestly, I don't care as long as I don't have to drive." Taehyung says, already munching on the chips which Jungkook has tossed him a second ago, because the guy was too lazy to get it for himself at his own place.

You've decided to meet up at Taehyung's place since it was the closest. All of you have to go to work tomorrow, so there's no time to hang out like you usually do. You only met up to figure out the entire trip, so you don't panic right before you have to leave. Plus, Taehyung is terrible at replying to messages and so is Jimin sometimes.

"About that," Jungkook starts, scratching the back of his head as he earns everyone's attention. "I sort of invited Ester too."

He did what? 

The silence that follows seems like it lasts cruelly long, but it's only you because even though the guys seem surprised by the news, they show no problem with that. Though that can't be said about you because you're staring dumbfoundedly at Jungkook, wondering if you heard him right.

"Great!"

"Why did you do that?"

You and Jimin say at the same time, Taehyung slowly putting more chips into his mouth as he stares at the three of you. Jungkook frowns confusingly, shrugging his shoulders as if not understanding why are you questioning him which makes your annoyance bubble even more.

"It sort of came out."

Sort of... You can't with this guy. The little scoff you let out is enough to give him away your thoughts.

"Isn't that so random though? It's a friend's trip. No one knows her besides you."

Not that you have anything against Ester. She's a nice girl and she never gave you a reason not to like her, but Jungkook's random invitation to a trip full of friends is just totally out of the blue and doesn't make sense. Even guys seemed surprised by it, but they decided not to comment on it.

"Then they'll get to know her."

It's Jungkook's bluntness and the look he's giving you that pisses you off and you have to hold yourself from springing off the couch.

"I don't see any problem–"

You don't let Jimin finish, completely ignoring him. "You've known her for five minutes."

That makes Jungkook's brow lift up. "And?"

"Why would you invite someone on this trip?" you exclaim, trying to grasp the meaning of this.

The last camping trip was your first one with all of them. And you've been friends with him, Jimin and Taehyung for years. Obviously, you were familiar with Hoseok and Jin but still, you knew each other before you were invited. The exact thing happened on New Year's Eve.

It might not be a big deal of him inviting her, but it doesn't make sense considering it's last minute and you're leaving in a few days. The amount of tents and caravans are already taken care of.

"I invited you."

That makes you gasp, "I'm your best friend!"

"Guys–" Jimin tries again but Jungkook shrugs again.

"She's my friend too."

Okay, that makes your blood boil. Is he really comparing you and Ester? You've no idea how this even escalated to this but you can't seem to calm down, even as Jimin tries to butt in while Taehyung tries to hide an amused grin.

"Where is she going to sleep anyway?" Taehyung speaks up, earning a "Thank you Taehyung" glance but of course the idiot has to ruin it. "I mean, she could share the tent with me." he adds cheekily which makes Jungkook scoff while you scrunch your nose in disgust.

"I will sort that out. I can always ask Namjoon if he has another tent, I'm sure he mentioned he has more than two or he can ask someone. You girls can share the tent."

You haven't really spoken about who shares a tent with who, but you kind of expected it to be like last time. Maya is also coming so she's going to share the tent with Namjoon, obviously. Then there's Jin who is going without Jia since she's pregnant and doesn't want to join this time, so he would share either the tent or caravan with Hoseok. Jimin and Taehyung shared the tent together and so did you and Jungkook.

Not to get things mixed up, you don't really care who you're sharing the sleeping space with. But the fact he's expecting you to share it with Ester because he decided to invite her all of a sudden just calls for a conflict. It's the audacity he's showing that makes you open your mouth in pure disbelief as you stare at Jungkook with a proper what the fuck written on yur face.

Also, not even Jimin decided to invite his girlfriend. His freaking girlfriend that would make a bigger sense to come since she's actually close to someone out of all people.

He sighs, "It came up. She wanted to make plans with me on that very weekend, we talked about it and it just came up."

"So you felt bad for her, so you invited her?" you question, arching your brow as Jungkook frowns.

"No," he says with the same frown, emphasizing the word. "Jimin wanted me to invite her somewhere a long time ago. Guys seem to be okay with it and the only person who seems to have a problem with it is you."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh shit." Taehyung mutters, straightening himself.

This whole situation is giving you a major whiplash. You and Jungkook barely argue, that can be seen even on Jimin's and Taehyung's faces as they look genuinely shocked by the exchange between you and Jungkook. You were fine.

You were texting and even Face-Timing a few times since you haven't had the chance to see him in person since you moved in. You were literally joking just minutes ago. And you know you are the one who has voiced your confusion, but you're not going to keep your mouth shut when you're genuinely baffled over this news.

"I don't see any problem here, seriously."

It's the tone he uses that makes you too stunned to speak. He's looking at you as if you were the enemy here and that kind of stings. He's here talking to you like this, looking at you like this for a girl he barely knows and that's when you know what triggers your anger and annoyance even more. You can barely remember times where Jungkook would be strict with you. The past few months have been the greatest months in your friendship, and you're not talking about the sex. You joked, teased each other, laughed... but now it's like you don't recognize you and him.

It's not that serious, just a change of opinions. But at this moment, you can't just keep your mouth shut and move on.

You're jealous. Jealous that he's here ready to argue with you over a girl who's apparently his friend. He makes you feel like you're the idiot here and you don't know, maybe you are but you don't like how he's acting.

"It's last minute, Kook..." Jimin starts, giving you a side-glance. He's looking at you as if you're about to jump and attack Jungkook. "But I'm sure it can be arranged. Girls can share the tent, sorry Tae but I'm not sure Ester would be happy to share it with you. We don't want to traumatize her."

He tries to joke, laughing awkwardly while still giving you the side-glance while your frown turns only deeper. Even Taehyung laughs and tries to fake disappointment from Jimin's words.

"I'm not sharing a tent with her." you stubbornly scoff, Jungkook glaring the hell out of you and you're ten seconds from showing him your middle finger.

"You're being difficult. I don't know what's your problem with her, but she's a nice girl. You met her."

"Share the tent with her then. Since she's your friend." You know you're being childish, you even sound like it and you ignore everyone's eyes on you which makes you uncomfortable.

"I don't know if that's appropriate. Her sharing it with a girl is more appropriate."

You know he's got a point. But still, stubborn as you are, you fold your arms over your chest and give him a sweet smile. "Should've thought about it before you invited her."

"Okaaaay, guys. There's no need to–"

"You're so selfish right now." Jungkook comments and you gasp.

"Kook, seriously." Taehyung mutters but you see red.

"I'm selfish? You invite your friend and I'm selfish because I don't want to share the tent with her? Since when is she my problem? You invited her, you deal with it, Jeon." You're raising your voice, though Jungkook doesn't look phased one bit as he scoffs and looks away, clenching his jaw.

"Fine. I will buy her a fucking tent if that's what it takes." Don't forget to fuck her in it. Wait, where did that come from?

"I thought it's a friend's trip too. I mean, I don't really mind if someone invites a plus one. I get both sides." Taehyung tries to reason.

Jungkook lets out a sigh. "I wasn't planning on inviting her but it happened. I don't see any big deal in this."

Oh my god, you're done.

"Okay, then I'm inviting Yoongi." you say with an attitude, Jungkook's head snapping to yours including Taehyung and Jimin.

You do regret saying it as soon as it leaves your mouth. Why Yoongi out of all people? What did you think? But you don't back away. There's no way you will embarrass yourself even more than you already have.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're being childish." Jungkook scoffs. Yes, you're petty and what?

"What? I thought we are allowed to invite friends."

"He is not even your friend."

"How would you know?" you bite back.

"Oh come on!"

"Alright, calm down you two." Jimin frowns, looking genuinely concerned despite his frown.

"No, I'm starting to like this." Taehyung says with a smirk, looking excited to witness this as you frown at him.

You stand up, straightening your pants as you give a look to all your friends. "Yoongi is coming too."

"You don't even like him. Seriously, this is ridiculous." Jungkook can't help but speak up again.

You don't argue with him on that. Sure, Yoongi gets on your nerves most of the time but you don't not like him.

"Just invite who you want and be done with this." Jimin sighs, rubbing his forehead.

"No, she just did that on purpose!" Jungkook exclaims, causing you to scoff.

"Mind your business, Jeon and better go figure out where your friend is sleeping." you remark.

Deep down you do feel bad because of Ester. She has done nothing wrong to you or to anyone you know. You don't want her to think you don't like her and you do hope whatever happened here won't reach her. God, you really hope Jungkook won't snitch on you. He wouldn't, right? 

"Wait, where are you going? How are we gonna sort out the cars then?" Taehyung calls out to you when you're on your way out.

You linger between the entrance of the living room and entrance hall, shrugging.

"We're gonna have to go with two cars anyway. So much for saving." he adds, grumbling.

"I don't know, I'll just go with Yoongi. Let me know how you arranged it. I'm going, I'm tired."

Taehyung's place starts to feel suffocating and you rush to put your shoes on, bidding them a sore goodbye as you get into your car.

You're a fucking idiot. You smack your head against the headrest, closing your eyes as you rub your forehead furiously instead, not wanting to smudge your make-up.

Great. You cannot show without Yoongi. You argued with Jungkook and let the most stupid idea come out of your mouth because of... because of what exactly? Annoyance? Anger? Jealousy?

All of the above most likely.

But the aftermath of your argument in front of Jimin and Taehyung is not the only thing that causes you another headache.

The thing is...

How the fuck will you convince him to go?

[beabnormal24]

Your dog ~ carcar, angst

Piñon still bites him when he sees him. He's a distrustful dog, Oscar has learned.

He doesn't like it when Oscar sits on the left side of the couch, pushes his nose against his calf until he's shuffling to the right. He doesn't sit on that side either, though, and curls up under his feet.

He doesn't like it when Oscar looks at the coats hanging nearby the entrance, he doesn't like it when Oscar puts his hand in the biscuits jar, he doesn't like it when Oscar uses the body-wash in the shower and smells of musky pinecones.

He doesn't like a whole lot of things that Oscar does, truthfully, and even though he does try not to show it, sometimes it really hits close to home, where it already hurts the most.

And yet, he still gets up at eight sharp in the morning to take him out for a walk.

They stroll on the sidewalk for ten minutes, already with the easiness of a routine that doesn't feel like it belongs to him fully yet, and Oscar can almost say with certainty that it doesn't feel that gross to grab his poop from the ground.

Every morning they walk past a local bakery, just on the right side of the parallel road, and every single morning Piñon starts barking, perhaps out of familiarity, perhaps just out of curiosity, his vision zeroing on the bright yellow of the signs.

Oscar... he would rather not walk in, honestly. It's not even about avoiding falling into temptation, the smell of fresh baked goods always seeming to make his empty stomach grumble like a full engine.

It's more about the way the people around him seem to advert their gaze for a short second before actually meeting his eyes, it's about the way the woman behind the counter sharpens her grimace into a somewhat welcoming smile, as if all of a sudden she's not angry anymore at Oscar for only knowing how to utter a bunch of words in broken Spanish.

Even worse, though, it's the way they always sit on their calves and pat Piñon's head with a familiarity that Oscar is almost jealous of.

He may not understand a lot of the language, but still it's easy to make out the grand scheme of it all, how they sneak treats under the dog's mouth, how they whisper close to his ear.

"Has he been treating you good? How are you doing? How is him?"

Piñon never answers, and maybe that's exactly the reason why Oscar decided to take care of him.

When it came to deciding what should go to whom, he had almost fought tooth and nails to insist he would be the one getting the dog, in ways that he would probably be immensely embarrassed of if he thought about it now, lucid and the wound of it all less open and fresh.

But when Piñon tilts his head there's always the memory of something that tickles the back of Oscar's head, something that he's not exactly ready to let go of completely.

And when Oscar just needs to talk without the feeling of judgment and guilt clouding over him, Piñon just nudges his nose against his calf and sits at his feet and leaves him the benefit of self criticism that sometimes Oscar forgets he still has.

And other times, even, he looks up at Oscar with big brown eyes that hold a distant sentiment that Oscar can't face just yet.

He has read, somewhere in the middle of a late night binge search on how to get rid of it all as fast possible, that dogs are able to talk to spirits.

Oscar doesn't exactly believe it. Though it is true that Oscar doesn't believe in a lot of things that don't lie in the same Venn's diagram of a throttle and a brake.

He still doesn't know if he should believe in God or if it's God who should believe more in them, give them a bit more credit for all the things some people have to go through without even asking for them.

And Oscar also sincerely hopes Carlos has not gone and become a spirit, because that would imply that even the last shred of hope has to quietly die like a burnt candle.

Because that would mean Oscar would have to live the rest of his life looking for a metaphysical appearance that he knows will never come, that he would have to feel haunted, even.

And it's ridiculous to even think about believing in something like that, and yet at two in the morning on a Thursday night Oscar thinks that there can't be any damage to do if he just lets himself be ridiculous for a little while.

The corridor is bathed in moonlight when he walks through it, but Oscar still finds some difficulty in making his way through the rooms, leaning against the wall with a hand as he feels the quiet thrum of an empty house surrounding him.

He is careful with his steps as he reaches Piñon, sleeping soundly at the entrance where he had dragged his own bed a few days ago.

He thinks about it for a second, then two, watches little puff of air heaving Pinon's chest, his head resting on crossed paws, turned towards the door as if it could open from a second to another. Waiting.

He doesn't think about it more than three seconds, because Oscar has never had the privilege to make decisions in longer than that, so he kneels on the ground, passing a gentle hand through the longer fur on Piñon's back before ducking his head and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

Piñon doesn't wake up, just scrunches his nose for a second before his breaths even out again, same rhythm as before, as if trying to fall back into a routine that doesn't quite fit right.

The sofa is soft under his legs when he sits on it, careful to not disrupt the untold equilibrium as he presses his feet to the left armrest and leans his chin over his bent knees. He is not going to sleep anytime soon, either way.

"I gave a kiss to your dog." Oscar chuckles, lets himself feel ridiculous for just a second before relaxing against the back of the couch. "I did it when he was asleep. He would've killed me if I had tried to do it when he was awake."

The only answer he gets is the eerily quiet and the muffled sounds of Piñon's breathing.

For the first time since he can remember, Oscar wishes there could be another voice coming from the right side of the couch.

"I think he doesn't like me a lot, you know? Sometimes it's like he wants to blame me and I- I get it, I want to blame myself, too." A knot rises in the middle of his throat, tight and uncomfortable. Oscar still talks past it. "But he is the closest thing to you that I could get, the closest thing that is alive and well. And when he glares at me he- he almost reminds me of you which is ridiculous because I can't even remember the last time you were actually angry at me but I think it's better for me to remember you that way than..."

He rubs a hand under his eyes, pretends like he can't feel the sudden wetness on the sleeves of his hoodie. He doesn't even think it's his own.

He doesn't even remember when the division line started to blur.

"I think that's what you would want me to do, if you could say it."

Lando hadn't been of the same opinion, looking at Oscar warily when he had suggested he would be the one taking Piñon for the first time. Now, he just looks at Oscar with his downturned eyes and tells him he wishes he could do more to help him.

Oscar doesn't think there's more to do, anyway.

"I read somewhere that dogs talk to spirits. I think it's the kind of shit you would yell at Lando for believing in it. You always d- do that." He caresses his own knees, seeking the comfort of a warm touch in his own coldness. "And trust me, I hope you are not a fucking spirit and that you won’t become one anytime soon. But if there is even a small- small possibility, I-" he closes his eyes for a second, lets the knot in his throat dissolve like salt in water, stinging on an open wound, where pulsing blood is still rushing to trail on his skin.

"If there is even a single possibility of it being true I- I gave him a kiss and I hope he can bring it to you. And then he can come back home if- I hope he thinks this is still home, even without-“

The light blue colour of the sleeves has tuned into a darker patch under his eyes, blurry from a lucidity that he can't make himself feel ashamed of.

As if on cue, the silence is broken by the ticking sound of Piñon's paws on the hardened wood floor. When Oscar manages to open his eyes again without wishing to disappear into the dark blue void outside the window, Piñon is looking up at him, curled under his feet with his head close to Oscar's shin.

The dog sighs, a shaky thing that sounds almost like a rumble and Oscar can only answer with a choked sob of his own that doesn't feel like it belongs to him at all, to his vocal cords that always found no use in crying.

Many things can change in the span of a few weeks: Oscar's beliefs and a dog's routine.

"But I- I think," he swallows around nothing, bending down to press a hand to the top of Piñon's head, caressing lightly. "We are not so different, me and Piñon."

The dog sighs again, almost sad. Oscar wonders if he is listening to what he is saying, if he can actually understand it all. Will he bring a kiss from him, then?

"We both miss you the most when the night comes."

—

This little story is heavily inspired by the song “your dog” by Pinguini Tattici Nucleari

[jaynahh]

# you confessed to kabukimono, scaramouche, and wanderer

(seperated)

# scaramouche

# kabukimono

"love?"

his doe eyes were blown wide at your confession, though it didn't take long for a smile to take over his expression.

"aw, you're so sweet. i wouldn't choose anyone else to be my companion!"

oblivious.

before you could explain yourself, he took your hand in his and lead you near a tree. he suddenly bent down and picked a flower. once he stood up, he held the flower with both hands, offering it to you.

"ah, i love you too..."

his mouth hung open, thinking of other words to say, but nothing came out. he clearly had no experience. after a moment, he spoke.

"i've heard that when two people love each other, they give each other flowers. oh, speaking of flowers, i've recently tried this one tea flavor made with this one flower–i should make it for you sometime."

um, he's quite innocent.

in conclusion, kabukimono does in fact love you too. he just doesn't have a full grasp of what love means yet.

(ooc, he is soft for u)

you did it. you finally admitted your feelings for him. not gonna lie, it was scary. in fact, you were borderline hyperventilating as you awaited his response, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

you two were next to each other. so close, yet so far. you couldn't see his expression from the way you stared at the ground in anticipation. the silence was eating you up inside, and you couldn't handle much longer.

"look at me."

his voice snapped you out of your thoughts, taking a moment to register his request.

"...just for a moment," he spoke.

though his voice was quieter than usual, it didn't help with your racing heartbeat and uneven breathing. you fidgeted with your hands, weighing your options, hesitating before lifting your gaze from the ground to his face. your body tenses subconsciously, preparing for his wrath and uncaring behavior.

his eyes widen upon seeing your expression. you were crying. why are you crying? he wants to ask, yet he stops himself. he notices you tense up. were you scared of him? he instead takes a different approach.

"keep looking, please."

he knew how you would always avoid eye contact. he hated it. it always irritated him how he'd never get to see your face, how you'd always hide when he wanted to see your expression the most.

"i'm not mad. i... i won't yell at you."

without much thought, his hand went up to your face–his heart broke at the sight of you flinching, regret filled his mind thinking of the times he'd been harsh towards you–his thumb brushing your tears away.

"i might," he stammered, "i might feel the same."

in conclusion, scaramouche never knew about his feelings towards you until he saw the tears on your face. he needs time to process his newfound feelings.

# wanderer

he wants to make sure that you know what you'd be getting yourself into. him, out of all people? are you out of your mind?

he pursed his lips, analyzing your expression and body language. inside, he really doesn't know how to respond. he doesn't really believe it.

"are you sure?" he asked.

"why wouldn't i be?" you respond.

his mind was racing with so many questions. "but, you know how i'm like." it's true, you two have hung out on multiple occasions. he had never put up a front with you–or with anyone, for that matter. you know his true self well. so, why?

deep, deep down, he may be a tad bit insecure. just a little. okay, he feels like he doesn't deserve love–he doesn't deserve you.

"do you really want to live with my annoying remarks for the rest of your life?" he crosses his arms and tilted his head, making him seem judgemental in a negative way–but he's worried. just a little worried about you.

he's not sure if he's able to trust someone to that extent, but with you... of course he loves you. he's just scared.

scared for one, that you'd get sick of him and hate his attitude, and two, you'd get taken away from him too.

he's warning you, but he's secretly hoping you'd ignore all his warnings. he needs a hug.

in conclusion, he always had an interest in you, though he hid it quite well. he never acted on those feelings in fear that you'd leave him.

[denwritesandcries]

sleepy!Tara Carpenter HCs

Pairing: tara carpenter x fem!reader

Summary: In all the times you fall asleep with Tara, she's always in your arms.

Word count: 1,7k.

Content: cursing, mentions of ghostface, fluff, slightly angst, LOTS of cuddles, sleep disorders, tara's horrible sleep habits.

Note: Alright, I don't know who first started the headcanon of Tara sleepwalking, but thank you cause it made me think about things.

English is not my first language.

- Tara has many different facets of behavior when she's sleepy and all of them end with her acting like a clingy koala.

- Will use you as her personal pillow at every opportunity she gets, whether in quick naps or during the night. Don't even try to escape it. Head lying on your shoulder or lap, leaning against your body and completely melted in your arms.

- If she's too drunk after a party, she'll pass out on you the second you lie down and even if she's mad after a fight, she'll drag you to the bed by your wrist and put your arms around her waist, fixing you the way she wants, before crossing her arms with a frown and her back turned to you.

- It's no use tho, a few minutes later she turns around again to bury her face in your chest or neck and intertwine your legs together. A stupid argument isn't worth a bad night's sleep, even if she's still very mad at you (she’s not).

- Has frequent nightmares, but doesn't like to talk about it. Tara wakes up scared and with her heart racing and becomes extremely shy and quiet as she asks you to hold her tighter.

- She insists that her dreams don't scare her anymore, but the way she's clearly alarmed after it happens tells you enough to know that it's not true, so you just do as she asks and do your best to make sure she doesn't spend the nights alone and embarrassed of being affected by it.

- Tara often can't go back to sleep after them, so she follows you around the apartment while you stay up with her, insisting that she's not tired even though she yawns loudly while you prepare a late-night snack or put on some random show for you to watch on TV.

- Poor baby has had a lot of trouble falling asleep since Ghostface – she has practically chronic dark circles under her eyes – let alone sleeping peacefully, so when it happens, Tara sleeps like a rock. As if there could be a bang in the house and she still wouldn't wake up.

- It’s a sleepwalker and sleep talker. Tara is very restless – you've already been kicked a few times because of that. Better be prepared to be frightened a lot until you get used to it, because she won't admit that she actually does this. You don't know if she just doesn't want to admit it out of shame or if she's in denial – or maybe she's just gaslighting you for fun, who knows? Your girlfriend can be a little smartass when she wants.

- Tara says disjointed words most of the time, what she's dreaming about or conversations you've had throughout the week, topics you didn't even remember talking about but suddenly her hoarse voice wakes you up and she's mumbling about something silly that the core four did together or even full sentences that leave you simply confused.

- At first you think she’s actually talking to you and you poke her to ask what she's saying and she wakes up irritated. Girly gets so, so grumpy about you waking her up, why the hell did you do that? She was so comfortable sprawled on top of you. What is that? No, she didn't say anything. Shush.

You wake up one night with a hand too small to be another Ghostface slapping you squarely in the nose, propping yourself up on your elbows and looking around in alarm, only to find Tara in the far corner of the bed lying in a way that couldn't possibly be comfortable, one of her legs hooked into the crook of your knee.

“...the car,” she mumbled and you moved closer to hear better, confused and scratching one of your eyes to ward off the tiredness.

“What?” You ask quietly, holding back a yawn, “What you said, baby?”

Tara shifts her position, looking slightly uncomfortable, her hand almost reaching you again as she rubs her face into the pillow.

“No,” she turns again, “The blue car.”

Why does it feel like she's angry with you?

Noticing that her eyes were still tightly closed, you arch an eyebrow and lightly shake her shoulder.

“What car?” you ask when she finally opens her eyes.

“What?” Tara looks just as perplexed as you.

“The car. The blue car,” you repeat, curious, “What about that?”

She stares at you for a long moment, seeming to try to assimilate what you're saying.

“You woke me up to talk about a damn car?”

"You tell me!" You exclaim, “What’s with the blue car?”

Tara snorts in complete disbelief, adjusting herself back in your arms and choosing to ignore your confused expression. You lay there, cradling her safely and being the one without sleep this time, wondering what the hell car she was talking about.

- Sometimes she murmurs variations of 'I love you', spoken softly against the skin of your neck, so over time it stops confusing you and becomes just captivating.

- You almost have a heart attack when you see her sleepwalking for the first time, thinking that someone had broken into the apartment.

- Sam had to sit down with you and explain to you that Tara does this since they were kids, after the high scream you gave when you saw a five-foot shadow trying to open the wardrobe with unfocused eyes and failing miserably.

- You woke up the whole house – including your girlfriend – with the sound, but at least it gave you all a good laugh and a completely confused Tara cursing everyone and going back to bed.

- In defense of her and your sleep, this doesn't happen that much. These are peculiarities that occur mainly due to stress; if she has a fight with you or Sam, for example, or during college tryout season.

- It also happens because of the nightmares she has. You and Sam are convinced that this would improve if she went to therapy like her sister, but you know how stubborn your girlfriend is.

- This also becomes captivating, you no longer wake everyone up when you find her sitting at the kitchen counter writing a grocery list in the dark because she forgot to do the task during the day and kept that in mind.

- You always gently guide her back to bed and she curls up around you immediately, because as much as the 'You can't wake a sleepwalker!' thing is bullshit, it's better not to have to deal with the sad pout on her tired face when this happens.

- Tara is a BIG cuddler. Even if she doesn't stay like that all night, she has to have your body touching hers and fall asleep like that.

- She is usually the little spoon, but likes to be the big one when she is angry or feeling protective about something.

- It's comical when that happens, it's like having a little backpack clinging to you, even if you're not much taller than her, because Tara insists on trying – she never succeeds – to rest her chin on the top of your head in those days, so the difference is always stark. Girl is determined.

She's upset after a stupid party where a random guy hit on you, practically foaming at the mouth while mumbling about 'That fucking dumb bastard, how dare he?' on the way back.

Your girlfriend is still upset as you prepare for bed, even though your reassurances and soft kisses have calmed her earlier anger. Now she's just quiet, insecure.

You lie down among the sea of pillows and blankets spread out on the bed, opening your arms: “Come here, dear.”

Tara goes, but instead you feel her weight sink into the mattress behind you under the blankets, warm arms wrapping around you tightly.

She only truly relaxes when she buries her face in your hair and breathes in your scent. You feel her melt, like she can't get enough of your touch.

- Her favorite position, however, is when she is turned to you, her face buried in your neck and her body pressed against your chest, with your arms around her waist keeping her close.

- Likes to nap during the day and stay up late making movie marathons or finishing college work. Takes every chance she gets to simply rest with her head on your thighs for a few minutes.

- On those occasions when you are not with her and find her dozing on the couch, Tara will wake up for a moment, blink her eyes innocently and ask you to join her for just a few minutes. Her doe eyes can be very convincing, there's no way denying her that.

- You promise to yourself that you won't fall asleep, but you end up passing out less than 20 minutes later, with her warm body sprawled on top of you. It's like you can't help it, your girlfriend is basically a walking heater and she's so comfortable.

“Tara, I need to finish this book.”

“But baby,” she takes your hand in hers, rubbing circles into the wrist with her thumb, “Lay here with me just for five minutes. Please?”

You sigh, knowing you’ve lost immediately: “Fine. But just a little.”

- She’s not really afraid of the dark, but feels safer in a brighter place, sometimes leaving the door ajar to let a flight of the light from the hallway enter the room.

- You buy her a cute night light as a gift once and she gets angry at first, thinking you were mocking her, but over time she starts to shyly take the item out of the drawer to turn it on on days when nightmares haunt her. You keep a few extras at your dormitory too, just in case.

- She doesn't snore or breathe through her mouth – in fact Tara is very silent except for her occasional murmurs – but sometimes she breathes heavily in her chest due to her asthma. She loves it when you rub your hand up and down her back to calm her and follow her breathing, especially on days when she's feeling under the weather.

- She sleeps with as many blankets and pillows as she can fit on the bed and curls up in them like a ball – don't worry about feeling too hot, she almost always ends up monopolizing them all at some point during the night.

- Set several times to wake up in the morning, all with the same default sound because music annoys her.

- Always gets satisfied when she wakes up next to you, the sleepy smile marking the dimples in her cheeks while there is a good morning kiss waiting for you.

- In short, sleeping with Tara may have its... peculiarities, but you wouldn't trade it for the world.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Jake Kim x Reader: I love you more

G/N. Soft, sappy.

"I love you more," is always Jake's answer to your I love you's.

Not I love you too, but I love you more.

He says it sometimes with a playful toothy grin, other times hushed and reverent, eyes impossibly soft.

He means it. Thinks it's true.

Jake loves you more than you love him, and it's not a complaint - he is happy with that. In his limited experience, relationships are never fully equal, are they? There's a constant give and take, scales constantly trying to balance.

You're his favourite person. Having the privilege of you loving him back is enough.

.

.

Except you think you love him more. Even if Jake says this regularly, it doesn't mean it's true.

At least in your mind.

You both show your adoration with grand and small gestures. Big Deal boys at your beck and call, a steady rotation of Jake's inner circle by your side, because you might as well also be their Leader. Home-cooked meals for Jake; tight embraces for those hard days, quiet company for those harder nights.

He makes you laugh and you make him snort.

You've seen each other red faced and blushing.

Broken down, dejected and spirits fragile.

Occasionally expressions contorted with anger, body language defensive and on guard.

More frequently eyes half lidded, faces lovestruck, voices low and limbs tangled together.

.

.

Jake is right, when he thinks relationships are a continuous rebalancing of the scales. You love him more some days, and he others.

As you lie in his arms, waking up to his bedhead and a sweet smile beaming down at you, you wonder how your heart doesn't burst with how much you love this man. You definitely love him more.

Jake thinks about how wonderful you are, blearily blinking up at him and your face lighting up when you see him already awake and looking at you. How this sort of peace, this relationship he has only dreamt about. He loves you with everything he has and more. A lot more.

The first thing you say that day, voice croaky with sleep-

"I love you."

Jake grins, he will never tire of hearing you say those three words, and tells you, "I love you more."

It doesn't really matter, in the end, neither of you are keeping count.

[goodoldfashionlovercorpse]

Casual

pairing: Sirius Black x slytherin! potter! reader

parts: 2,

summary: Y/n Potter has been in love with Sirius for as long as she's known him. During their 6th year at Hogwarts, they start hooking up. Sirius declares it casual, but are they both truly ok with this secret?

a/n: hey! this is my first series involving Sirius!. it's on Chappell's song "Casual." hopefully you enjoy it. The reader is James's sister and is friends with most Slytherins.

warnings: smut, angst, secret fwb situationship, jealousy, explicit language

In this world, love was a blessing. True love, that is. Casual lust and scattered “I love you”s were commonplace at Hogwarts. That’s just how it is; if you place a bunch of teenagers in a huge castle, you’re bound to be lied to. Sirius Black was the main culprit of said lies. He’d tell anyone he’d love them for an hour of relief. Unfortunately, his lie was towards his best friend’s sister. Y/n Potter. She’s in the same year as him, unfortunately, she’s a Slytherin and a Potter. Not to mention, she’d been in love with him for years. Not lust, not attraction, just pure and genuine love for the man. 

Her friends called her a fool for falling for it. “The only thing he loves is his reflection, which’ll only last until he’s 20.” She knew they were right. Sirius only told people he loved them to get in their pants, she was no different. The Potter name didn't help her either. Her brother had yet to know, thankfully Remus kept his mouth shut. 

She was somewhat different, though, at least from his other hook-ups. She wasn’t a one-night stand. Sirius and her had gone on like a game of hide and seek that never ended. Maybe she was a fool, a loser as Marlene called her, but she doesn't mind. Not when it was her name Sirius was whispering, it was her legs he was in between, it was his bed she was on.

“Fuck… you’re beautiful, Y/n.” he groaned in her ears as his hips hit her own. He kissed her neck and went up her cheeks then her lips, just as he’d done yesterday and the day before. Hitting all the right spots, telling her sweet nothings as the world they knew became one of moans and cries. “All this just for me, love. I feel so special.” The effect this man had, he knew what those words did to the girl. Building her up, literally and figuratively, then tossing her. He always came back, it was the same pattern as always. 

Sirius drew her these worlds, so pretty and perfect. Dreaming what life with him could be as he fucked her brains out, only to then have her leave by kissing her goodnight. Soon he came inside her, filling her up with hopes of commitment. “Here,” he offers her his hand as his cock leaves her, she’s now cold and empty once more. She grabbed his hand, guiding her through the empty room and into the bathroom. They showered together; she cleaned his hair the way he liked while he cleaned her body the way she liked. They weren't strangers, even before the arrangement. Sirius is like a brother to James, but he is the universe to Y/n. He held himself as the sun, yet she was a mere human who could only stare at him through rose-tinted glasses. Even now as he caresses the marks he left on her neck, he’s miles away. Soon they get dry,  kiss goodbye, and he says calmly, “No attachments, baby,” then closes the door. She goes down the stairs, past the portrait, hiding from Filch, and then going to her bed. Sound asleep, wearing his shirt and her favorite bottoms, her best bra under his bed with the rest. It’s casual. It always is. 

————————

“What’s between you and Sirius? I’ve heard rumors, you know?” Lucius said, a mouthful of eggs nearing his lips. His eyes carried a hint of worry as he ate, never once looking away from the girl.

“Nothing, he’s my brother’s friend. What more could it possibly be?” truthfully, her eyes glistened at the thought. She remembered the night before and knew it was bound to repeat again. She was looking right at the black-haired man, but he sat with his back to her, not even sparing a glance. Her brother waved and smiled as always, unbeknownst to the betrayal, yet his best friend didn’t even look back. He just continued to talk and laugh. 

“Well, someone said they saw you leaving his dorm…”

“You can’t  trust Gryffindors, Lucius, you know better.”

The blond shrugs and continues eating. Occasionally he glances between Sirius and Y/n, noticing her pupils fill with love contrary to the frown her mouth holds. “You Potters and your words.” he sighs defeatedly. 

The friends moved along, talking about classes, family, their plans for summer, etc. Even after the bell rang, the two moved like a pair of conjoined twins. For once she didn’t notice the holes burning into her friend’s skull by the eyes of a certain member of the Black family. 

James swung his hand around the other’s shoulder, “What’re you looking at, mate?”

“Just Slytherins, nothing special.”

“Better not be talking bout my sis.”

“I’d never.”

“Good. I’d have hexed you. Just an older brother thing, you understand.”

  Yet Sirius didn’t understand, at least not when it came to the aching feeling in his chest when he saw those two. They’d been like this since first year, it’s been bothering him since first year. He knew they were friends, and both confirmed it, yet he couldn’t help but feel cheated on. “Yeah, yeah. We’re still on for the Ravenclaw party right?” Sirius looked up at James, quirking his head to the side.

“Of course! Evans is gonna be there, I hope. At least that’s what Y/n/n says, she told me to wear something casual.”

Casual. Of course.

[a-world-of-whimsy-5]

How would Thranduil act if he was jealous of his S/O getting flirted with?

First of all, I'm sorry I took so long to reply this (I know, I know. Shame), but I hope you like it.

Pairing: Thranduil x Fem. Reader (Second person POV)

Themes: Smut (Lemon) | Soft

Warnings: Jealous! Thranduil | Kissing | Marking/Hickies | Dirty talk | Explicit language | Penetrative sex | Rough sex | Cream pie

Minors DNI | 18+ | You are responsible for the media you consume.

Rules and tag form here | Prompts for requests here.

🌿It all happens during a feast, of course, when the two of you make your rounds and talk to various guests. Your lady-in-waiting introduces you to a visitor to Mirkwood and he keeps you engaged the entire time.

🌿Thranduil sees it. He sees the elf talking too much and taking too much of your time.

🌿The king glides up to you and the visitor without making a sound.

🌿Hearing the other ellon pour honeyed words into your ear vexes him. Seeing him place his hand on your arm vexes him even more. Hearing you laugh and watching that hand tighten around your arm pushes Thranduil over the edge.

🌿"My love," Thranduil would say, his voice as warm and sweet as a summer day. "Pray who is your companion?"

🌿You make all of the necessary introductions, a flush creeping up your cheeks when you catch the clenched jaw and narrowed eyes. Thranduil was far from pleased with your new acquaintance. It was plain as day to anyone.

🌿Thranduil smiles, but that smile does not reach his eyes. "I have heard of your realm," he tells your new friend. "Tell me, are all your people so... overly familiar with the consorts of others?"

🌿Realization dawns, and the other ellon gulps, his eyes going wide. He wastes no time, mumbling apology after apology. Thranduil hears none of it. He takes you by the arm and leads you gently around other guests enjoying the feast. You keep stealing glances, your stomach tying itself into knots whenever your gaze rests on that clenched jaw. There was going to be more once he had you safely ensconced in your shared chambers; you were certain of it. The prospect excites you greatly.

🌿Thranduil wastes no time. As soon as he kicks the doors to the bedroom shut, he whirls you around and pulls you in for a kiss. It was no ordinary kiss. This kiss was violent and bruising and left you gasping for air. Oh, he knows you were an innocent party, but the sight of that elf acting all so familiar with you made his blood boil. He pulls you to bed, whispering sweet obscenities the entire time. The sensation of his hot breath against your ear is enough to make your skin tingle in all manner of ways.

🌿"That fool thought to touch you? Well, let me show you what a true ellon's touch feels like."

🌿"By the time I am finished with you, you will not even remember that fucker's name."

🌿You are reduced to a whimpering mess when he rips your dress to shreds.

🌿"But Th-thranduil," you protest, drinking in his body while he disrobed himself. "The feast..."

🌿The King merely laughs and dips his head. "The truth now. Would you prefer to be at the feast, or here, beneath me?"

🌿How could you lie? The thought of the Elvenking bedding you was enough to make heat bloom in your core. You give your answer. It pleases Thranduil to no end.

🌿What follows is a round of frenzied lovemaking. Thranduil doesn't hesitate to leave his mark all over you, especially your throat. He wants the others to see you belong to him and no one else.

🌿And he wants the others to hear it, too.

🌿"Scream for me, meleth. You know how much I love the sounds you make."

🌿 You were sure your moans and his carried well outside the bed chamber, but you couldn't bring yourself to even care. The intense jolts licking up your spine make it nearly impossible for you to do so. Thranduil keeps up with his torturous pace, pinning your hands over your head when you keep rearing to kiss him.

🌿"Not tonight," he would hiss even his hips bruise the insides of your thighs. Listening to you whimper and mewl unraveled him, made him go harder and faster.

🌿"Scream my name when you come," he commands when your walls grow tighter and tighter around his cock. "I want to hear you scream my name."

🌿 It doesn't take long for the world to stop spinning. Your body shakes and trembles when your orgasm rips through you. You cannot think. You can barely breathe. So lost are you in your state of bliss that you barely hear him moan long and deep before spilling his seed.

🌿 "Do you think he heard?" Thranduil whispers while trying to catch his breath.

🌿 A smile slowly works its way across your face. "I think it's safe to say they all heard, my king."

[sweetbillwriting]

In The Dead of Night

TEN

Characters: AU Eric played by Bill Skarsgård from The Crow (2024)

Setting: This story is set in A WHOLE OTHER WORLD than the movie. Shelley isn't a part of this story. Eric will be different from the movie, I started this story long before I saw the movie.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

Notes: FINALLY seen the movie. All similarities with the movie are accidentally. I got this idea after seeing the trailer.

×

I looked at Eric with pleading eyes until I heard a loud groan from Robin and how he turned on his heel to leave.

“Robin!” I shouted after him and jumped out of bed. It was a reflex to follow him because he was the one that left, but he was also my best friend. After a few seconds of searching, I found my panties on the floor and the gray tank top Eric used the night before, and then I ran after Robin through the staircase.

“Robin, please! You don't understand! I was just-”

Robin turned around in the middle of a stair while I stood on the first step.

“No! I don't understand! Because the only way I can see you have been able to get in contact with him is that you searched him up! Behind my back!”

“Yes, yes… But it was for Lotti!”

It wasn't a complete lie, but it was far from completely true either.

“For my mom? For my mom? You don't know a fuck what's best for her!”

“She misses him all the time.”

“That doesn't mean he's good for her. And neither for you! He's a fucking junkie, Della!”

"No, he's not; he's clean!”

“That's what he says to you, you fucking idiot! How many times should I say to you, addicts are manipulative assholes, and he will hurt you. I just want your best, but instead you go behind my back and fuck the trash.”

I stood quiet because I was in the wrong and didn't know what to say, but also because I didn't know much about addiction, and once again I became worried Eric was actually taking something. Had he hidden pills somewhere?

“I get that it's an exciting story with the lost son, the son who came back from an addiction, but I've seen him close to death twice now, even if he had sworn he would never do anything again. My mom doesn't need that, and I don't think you want to be near that either. You have probably seen the signs that he isn't stable, and I'm quite sure you don't want that in your life.”

I could hear Lotti's words in my head about his long periods of opiates use and the short periods of him being happy. Maybe this was a short period he was happy, and he would soon fall down in the dark pit of drugs again. Hadn't he closed the door, only ignoring it for the moment? He had said himself he thought about drugs all the time.

Robin started to walk down with slow steps, not as upset anymore, but his shoulders were slumped, and I could see a genuine worry in his body language when he dragged his hand over his face.

“Robin…” I whined but stayed on my step.

“This is just fucked up, Della. Going behind my back but also how much you will destroy for yourself…” he said with a sigh. I stayed silent and let my tears fall until I heard him walk out the entrance door. I took a deep breath because I knew now I had one more man to explain my actions to. In one way it felt easier because Eric wasn't the type to scream and make a scene, but he would be much more hurt than Robin. Robin's emotions were loud, but Eric's was big.

I met him already in the hallway, dressed in gray sweatpants and a Joy Division t-shirt that was so well used it had a big hole in the armpit. He gave me a quick look when he threw down his sports bag with his things on the floor, then he pulled on his high-top Vans.

“Eric..! I cried pathetically. Now the tears streamed heavily, and I tried to drag his body close to mine, but he either turned his back against me or pushed me away lightly.

“Please just let me explain, please!”

I didn't even know how to explain my behavior, but still I said it, just to be able to make him stay, but it didn't work because Eric just pulled on his bomber jacket. In that moment when his arms were occupied, I took my chance to hug him around his waist, hugging so hard he wouldn't be able to go away.

“Della…”

He tried to sound bored and irritated, but I could only hear the tears in his throat.

“Please Eric, just let me explain.”

I tied my fingers together around his back to make it harder for him to push me away, but I noticed at once I didn't need to worry about that; Eric was too kind to push me hard. Instead, he let his arms hang by his side while he stood with his eyes closed. I looked at him and dried my own tears from my cheeks and wondered if he would cry, but he just took a deep breath until he spoke again.

“I want to go now, Delilah.”

“No! Let us go back to bed; please just let us talk!” I rambled in my panic and tried to make him move towards the bedroom. I was stupid for believing that. Eric's body was just muscles, and he wouldn't move an inch if he didn't want to.

“I don't want to talk. I want to go...”

He really tried sounding determined and hard, like he could do to Odin, but he just sounded like a broken boy.

“Eric, I want to explain-”

For the first time during our conversation, he looked at me. His beautiful big green eyes were full of tears, but he blinked them away and looked down at me again.

“I don't want to talk because it doesn't matter anyway. Everything between us is a lie; you have gone behind my back, and I guess the stalking Jackie talked about was also true then-”

“No, no! Let me explain!” I cried pathetically and hugged him even harder.

“No, Della. Let me go.” He looked at me seriously while a tear crawled its way down his porcelain skin. “Just let me go.”

I looked straight into his eyes while tear after tear swam down his cheeks. I cried loudly instead, like a kid losing its favorite stuffy. I wanted to continue to hold him, only letting him go when everything was okay again, but not even I knew how we would get past this. I was a stalker, a liar, and hadn't respected his boundaries. Eric was an addict, but that was his only flaw. He deserved something better.

Hyperventilating with tears, I let him go slowly, and he took the trunk standing on the floor and wiped away his tears on his cheeks. I hoped he would give me a final kiss, a hug, and say that we could stay in touch, but he just walked out of my apartment and closed the door behind him silently. I continued my hyperventilating cries, and it became worse when I realized I had one thing more to tell him. I opened the door fast and could hear his slow steps down the stairs and a sniffle. I took a deep breath through my pained lungs and shouted:

“I love you most in the entire world!”

×××

Desiree dragged her fingers through my hair, even if it was greasy. I had been lying in bed for six days, and both me and my bedroom smelled like sweat and stale air. I didn't notice the smell, though, because I was just thinking about Eric. A bit about Robin too, but mostly about Eric. I loved him so much it felt like my body had shut down, and for short moments I wondered if I would be able to function again.

“I get that you're sad over Eric and Robin and everything, but laying here just makes it worse…”

Desiree just knew that Eric was Robin's brother, and I had approached him without Robin's consent. She didn't know why Eric had broken up with me too, but she probably created her own story about all of it.

“You can talk to Robin. He will probably understand. I mean, it's just his brother. It was a stupid thing for you to do, but it is only his brother. Such things happen.”

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes even harder. It wasn't as easy as Desiree believed, and hearing her talk so lightly about it just made my chest ache even harder.

“Can't you come on a walk with me at least? You will feel better when you go out.”

I did what she said. I don't even know why; maybe it was just nice someone else made a decision for me. I wore Eric's big hoodie over a pair of leggings with my nose down in the collar to smell the little scent of him that was left on it. Desiree looked at me while I did it and sighed.

“He's really nice but don't you think this is for the best? You're so different from each other. I always thought you wanted a more ambitious guy who could afford traveling with you.”

She was right; I had dreams about traveling all the time, meanwhile Eric had problems even affording a visit to my hometown, but money wasn't everything. He was.

“I don't want that anymore…” I said with a small voice.

“You feel that now because you two just broke up, but I know how much you like to travel. He works as a part-time janitor. It doesn't sound like he can even afford a trip to New York.”

I dug my hands deeper into the pocket of the hoodie. It was too early for her to diss Eric. Maybe in a few weeks it could be comforting, but I doubted even that. Talking shit about Eric was what weak, prejudiced people did. He was the kindest soul and did his best in life.

“What about Dante? I mean, I've seen on Instagram that he's still single and you two were-”

“God! This shit about Dante! He's an asshole!” I groaned loudly. My whole family was obsessed with the thought of me and Dante, even if I had said so many times he was an asshole.

“I know you could nag sometimes, but all couples do that, and you were so perfect for-”

“No! Can you please back off? I never ever want to be close to him again!”

“Because he complained about your clothes sometimes? Every partner you have had has complained about your clothes!”

My style was eclectic, theatrical, and sometimes ultra-sexy. I was a vintage girl, but I also liked some drama, and every partner I have had has either complained about the length of my skirt or the size of my hat. Everyone except Eric. That wasn't the reason I hated Dante, though.

“Yes! Because he complained about my clothes!”

Desiree made a smacking sound with her tongue, like she thought I was silly.

“So? He was handsome, stable, rich, sweet…”

While Desiree continued to enumerate everything good with Dante, I looked at my phone that was ringing. It was an unknown number, and in regular situations I wouldn't have answered, but now I did just to make Desiree shut up.

“Hey, it's Nick... Uhm…”

“Hi?” I said confused but also nervously. I wondered if he would shout at me for breaking Eric's heart, but it didn't really sound like he was mad.

“I know you and Eric have broken up, but I think you should come? He's a mess, and I'm afraid he will do something stupid. Please Della?” Nick said pleadingly. He didn't need to say more than that, I stood up at once and gave Desiree a look. She looked back at me, confused.

“I will be there as soon as I can.”

×××

I had hoped a reason would arise where I could go to Eric, but him feeling so awful that Nick felt forced to call me wasn't what I wanted. Nick told me he, John, and Granny had watched him in shifts because they didn't know what he could do in his anxiety. They had started to watch him after Granny had seen the prominent blue imprint of a belt around his neck, and he had asked for Granny’s anxiety medication he knew he had.

Together, Nick and Granny had locked away every sharp object or thing he could strangle himself with, in a wardrobe, even if Eric said they were silly. They didn't dare to take any risks because they knew Eric had an impulsive side that could come out when you least expected.

I borrowed mom and dad's car again, and my tears streamed down my cheeks while I was driving. Of course I could see why he wasn't boyfriend material. He used drugs and self harm to cope with life when I had the plan to be an adult and travel with my safe boyfriend. Eric handled everything in life turning against himself and was far from being safe. Still, I didn't want anyone else, and even if he didn't want me, I would stand by his side.

I had packed some things, ready to stay if it was needed, but left the bag in the car. I didn't know if Eric actually wanted me there, and it would maybe provoke him if it seemed like I thought I would stay. Instead, I walked up to his apartment with just my phone and keys in his hoodie's pocket and pushed the doorbell with a deep exhalation.

It was Nick who opened the door, dressed in a white tank and black sweats.

“Hey,” he just said, and let me go into Eric's apartment. I gave him a little strained smile and stopped awkwardly in the hallway. It didn't feel right to just go in when Eric had asked me to leave him alone the last time we saw each other.

“He's in bed; maybe you can talk to him?” Said Nick, who scratched his jaw uncomfortably.

I nodded a little and moved into the room at once. Standing next to Nick in the hallway felt just awkward, and it felt better to just go to Eric.

I could see long pale legs sticking out under the black cover and a tattooed back. His black hair melted into the pillow. I didn't know if he knew I was there, if he was sleeping, so I just sat down on the edge of the bed, waiting for signs he was ready for my presence. He seemed to be sleeping, so I moved the cover away from his neck and saw the angry bruise on his skin. It wasn't just black and blue but there were also wounds where the leather had penetrated his skin. It really looked like someone had tried to decapitate him.

“Oh god…” I whispered to myself. “Have you cleaned the wound? It looks awful.”

I looked at Nick, who leaned against the armrest of the couch.

“Ehm… No…” he said guiltily. “He wouldn't accept that anyway. You really believe he would let me clean his wounds?”

I sighed and dragged my fingers through the back of Eric's greasy mullet. To touch him was a reflex, but it caused him to wake up, and he looked at me with heavy eyes. He had a longer stubble that didn't match his raven colored hair.

“Hey…” I said softly, but I could feel the nerves in my chest.

He looked at me for a few seconds, then turned his back to me. I stared at his broad back hurt and then at Nick, who smiled at me disappointedly and stood up.

“Do you want coffee?” He asked me.

I furrowed my brows in confusion.

“I think I should go?”

“That easily? I thought you loved him?” Asked Nick with a bit of attitude. It was obvious he was protective of Eric.

“Yes but… He doesn't want me here?”

“He doesn't want me here either. So, coffee?”

I looked between Nick and the back of Eric.

“Yes, thank you.”

The two of us sat on the couch while Eric continued to sleep in the bed. We didn't say anything because there wasn't that much to say. I knew Nick wouldn't ask what happened between me and Eric, and I wouldn't tell until I really must. After 45 minutes of us just staring between the window, our phones, and Eric's back, he turned around and looked at us. His eyes were tired and sad, and at once I had a bad conscience. Was it me who had destroyed him like this?

Nick stood up and walked to the kitchen when he noticed that Eric just looked at me, and I took a deep breath. I didn't know what would happen, even if I knew Eric wasn't the angry type. He looked at me with big eyes that just became more and more shiny.

“I miss my mom…” he suddenly said with a wobbly voice and let himself cry without restraint.

“Hey, hey…” I said with a beating heart, broken of seeing him like that. I ran up to the bed and sat down next to him and hugged him.

“You can be with your mom, you know.”

Eric shook his head and took a deep breath. He laid down on his back and pushed his hands against his eyes.

“I have pain everywhere…” he whispered, and I nodded just a little and started to pat his chest. I didn't know if it would be okay, but I knew that if he had anxiety, it was where the pain started.

“Harder…”

I patted harder, in a circle. It made Eric remove his hands from his face and look at me. We didn't say anything; we just looked into each other's eyes while I patted.

“I lost my job…” He said after a few minutes.

“No, why?” I said with an empathetic voice, but it seemed to just make everything worse, and his face shrank up because of new tears.

“I forgot.”

“You forgot?”

“I forgot I needed to go to work.”

It was typically him, especially when his emotions went wild. I nodded in response and continued to pat his chest.

“I can't do anything right…”

"Yes, you can! You're so great, baby.”

I felt awful hearing him talk about himself like that and laid down next to him and steered his face against mine. He looked between my eyes and lips, and I moved closer to him, encouraging him to kiss me, but he looked away.

“Delilah…” He paused and looked up at the ceiling before he turned his gaze to me. He shook his head a little, but I couldn't interpret what he wanted to say.

“It's broken between you and me. It's broken…” He turned his eyes away from me again and closed them tightly. I laid and looked at his perfect profile and felt my chest start to hurt in a similar way Eric's probably did.

“But… But you need me...” I whispered. Eric didn't say anything, even if I crawled closer to him, kissing his earlobe and patting his cheek.

Eric breathed heavily and licked his cracked lips.

“I just… I don't feel well at all…”

He said, and let me continue to touch his face. I nodded fast, eager to just make him feel better.

“We could talk if I felt better…” he whispered, and he laid his cheek heavy in my hand. My heart beated faster now; the thought of him being able to talk to me and give me another chance took over everything else. I could do anything for him to forgive me.

He looked at me with big, green, soulful eyes and I knew I would do anything for him, especially when his eyes started to swim with tears.

“I saw something at your place when I was there... You still have pain medications for your shoulder, right? If I could just get a couple so my chest pains would stop…” His tears ran down his cheeks again, and I wiped them away with my thumbs. “Just three or four, it wouldn't make a difference? It's just for now.”

I didn't even know that I'd left the morphine pills so he could find them and admired him for not having taken anything. Maybe he could just take a couple? Just now when he didn't feel well?

“Please Della… It feels like I will die, please...” He cried, and he made me nod a little, even if I hadn't really thought it through.

“Yeah?” He said it with a small, hopeful smile. It was the first smile he had given me that day, and it was so precious I couldn't stop myself from just smiling back.

“Yeah,” I said and nodded a little.

“Can you get them now?” he asked eagerly. His eagerness made me doubt my decision, but I had too bad a conscience to take my words back. He would never talk to me if it seemed like I played with him.

I nodded at his question, and he hugged my hand in his as a thank you. I squeezed it back a little bit too long but then stood up, walking out to the hallway. I prepared myself for Nick's questions because I knew he wouldn't get me. He seemed to believe Eric was a lost case, but it was me who had been with him the most the last few months, and I knew this was just now. He would see it was just now he would take the pills.

“Are you going now?” Nick asked, confused, when I was almost at the door.

“I will be back.”

“Okay? I just thought you felt he was more important,” he said with a shoulder shrug.

“I do!” It angered me that he even said such a thing. “I just need to get something.”

Nick looked at me up and down and stopped at my eyes. I couldn't look at him, so I looked away, and it was obvious enough for him to understand.

“You're going to give him drugs!”

“No!”

“You're going to get him drugs!”

“No! I just-”

“Are you so fucking slow that you would give an addict drugs! Huh??”

“I'm sorry!” I cried and dragged Eric's hoodie sleeve over my eyes. “I just want him to stop being in pain!”

“Why did I even call you?? You're just a naive little girl! Get the fuck out of here before you've destroyed him completely!”

I ugly cried from shame but also terror of seeing Nick that angry. I turned on my heel and ran out the door, down the stairs as fast as I could. It felt like Nick was chasing me even if I knew he wasn’t.

I jumped into my car while sobbing. First I just felt sorry for myself, for evil Nick had destroyed everything, but it didn't take a long time before I realized what I'd almost done.

I think about drugs all the time.

I could hear Eric's voice in my head and thought about how he had told me how much he still dreamt about drugs. If I had given him it, what would have happened then? I wanted to believe it would just be that time, but not even I was that stupid in reality. I just couldn't stand hearing him cry in pain.

I was a naive little girl, and Nick did the right thing by throwing me out. Everyone made it sound like Eric wasn't good for me, but everything pointed to how it was the other way around. 

××× 

Three days later, Robin agreed to meet me on the bench outside of the salon. He had Odin with him, who was much happier to see me than Robin was. I cuddled with him for a while even if Robin was waiting, but even he knew it would be calmer if Odin just got his attention. When I sat down on the bench, Robin gave me an unexpected first question. 

“So it's Eric that has started to raise him?” He looked at Odin, who had laid down on the ground in a way he wouldn't have done some months ago. I shrugged my shoulders and swallowed hard. 

“I guess so. He's really good with animals, and Odin really-” 

“I know he's good with animals; even our dog Max loved him more than me.” 

I laid my head to the side and gave him a sympathetic look. 

“No one loved him more than you.” 

“Yes, my parents, our relatives, even the dog! I had only my uncle on my side. Otherwise, it was so much about Eric all the time!” 

“Don't you think that's from your perspective, because he was the adopted son?” 

Robin made an irritated sound and shook his head. 

“The apartment he has now is his first home. Did you know that? He lived as a parasite on mom and dad all the time-” 

“Don't call him that; he has had a tough life.” I tried to say it softly, but it still provoked Robin. 

“He lived on the streets as long as he thought it was fun then he-” 

“No one thinks it's fun to live on the street! Come on!” I was annoyed now because Robin really tried to own the narrative, even if it all was completely unbelievable. 

“He did! Then he came home to mom and dad, and they needed to save him! It was me who fucking forced mom to get him into rehab! She couldn't take care of him when dad just died! And Eric didn't do anything else than get eaten up by heroin until he overdosed! Some nice son there!” He more or less shouted now, and I wanted to hush him because of his harsh words, but then he would probably get quiet instead. 

“So your dad died and Eric overdosed because of it?” 

“Oh shut the fuck up. That wasn't the reason.” 

I sighed and dragged my hands over my face. 

“But you took him to rehab then? It was nice of you, Robin. You might have saved his life.” I tried to talk to his more human side, and it seemed to work because he took a deep breath. 

“Yes, but it was totally fruitless. And now he did it again.” 

I furrowed my brows in confusion. Eric hadn't OD’d since I got to know him... 

“You remember when I said my uncle had hit his head and gotten into a coma? It was he who was in a coma. Eric. Everyone thought he would die. Can you understand now why he isn't good for you? He has been clean for like half a year.” 

I didn't listen to the last part of what he said. I just thought about where I was in life when Eric was close to death. I was dreaming. About him. 

My Eric. My dream man. 

×

[onskepa]

Na'vi mating with a human [1 on 1] Headcannon.

Hello, so after the great success of my first head cannons, I thought I do another. This time, just One Na'vi with one human. If you have not read the Poly head canon, I have put the link to it. You don't have to read it if ya don't want to, I will try not to cross them both. This is just my thoughts and ideas. You guys are welcome to use them as head starts for a possible fic, or use as reference. But please do credit me.

----------------------

If there are ranks to go by in the Na'vi tribe, you have the leaders on the highest top, and second to them, or, one rank below them is true mighty warriors.

They are successful warriors, hunters, and teachers for the future generation.

The mighty warriors are just as trusted as the people's Olo'eyktan and Tsahik.

So, after a few years of being mateless, the Olo'eyktan and Tsahik and decided to help him expand. By granting his permission to seek being the Na'vi people and see a potential human mate.

That is IF the might warriors choose a human for a mate. But none the less, a huge honor as only the two leaders can ever have a human for a mate.

To have a human mate can mean higher respect from the local Na'vi and as means to show where they lie in ranks of the tribe.

Of course having a human for a mate doesn't mean the mighty warrior can treat his human mate like a trophy to show off or treat them as bugs.

Having a human mate is the same as having a na'vi for a mate. To see them as an equal and to be just as loved and as well cherished.

Because not just any na'vi can have a human for a mate.

Because of massive differences, its not uncommon for some small clash to happen. Aside from language barrier, its a must for humans to learn the na'vi language so they can communicate and understand na'vi in general.

However, for the warrior's view on life, it changes drastically. From having the need to protect a whole clan, to the urge to protect their little mate.

They develop a soft spot for their human mate only. One they keep away from the other na'vi as means to protect their pride but also the privacy of their human mate.

As mate to a warrior, who returns with some form of cuts or bruises, it is essential for the human to learn at lease basics of healing. What better teacher than the Tsahik?

Being soft and easily breakable in the Pandora environment, the human mate would require extra protection. From being constantly watched over should they wish to explore the forest, down to how the home is to be full of soft and cushion materials.

Biologically speak, should na'vi and human have sexual activities, I don't think its easy, or possible to have a child between the two. Unless the human is an avatar then that is more than possible. but if it just a human only with no avatar body.

Planning for a future family may seem a impossibility, unless adoption or by the blessings of Ewya can they have kids.

That is all I got. dunno if I should make another, but again, I might add some stuff should an idea hit me. Whole knows. But I hope you all enjoyed it!

[missbluesunflowersstuff]

Some Dick Grayson headcanon

I did some headcanon based in canon stuff and also random things, this is more around the batkids and Dick . Please respect

All batkids lie to Batman, ALL.OF.THEM and Dick is the one who lie to Batman and the others Robins (he is the oldest child guys, he will use his power for evil for fun)

He worries about Jason a lot and Dick will be happy in listen if Jason needs to talk

He also worries about Damian but for a different reason, and he still has Damian's adoption papers stored in his house (he mentions about wanting to adopt Damian in Nightwing 11)

Dick bond with Tim is pretty strong

He's Clark's favorite Robin and he knows it (Clark can deny it all he wants, but everyone knows it's Dick)

He accepted very well the fact that Damian changed the color of his uniform and turned the R into Redemption (he forgot to tell the boy what Robin was, but now Dick doesn't think it's right for a grown man to throw his moral responsibility onto a child then he is pretty ok with it )

Dick hates very single Bruce's former romantic partners, especially Khoa (Ghostmaker)

When Dick is tired of his siblings shit, he just needs to shout out "Superman" and less than 20min one of them will show up and pick up his brothers

Is Tim doing something potentially dangerous to himself? Here comes Kon carrying Tim like a sack of potatoes in one arm and Bart in another. Is Steph doing something also potentially dangerous to herself? Kara is on her way. Is Damian missing (again)? just one yell is enough and Jon will be landing on the ground while carrying Damian in his arms like a bride

There is this time that Dick ask Krypto (yep, the dog) to pick up the Robin, Dick's smile got bigger and bigger as the dog approached carrying Robin the mouth as if the boy were a puppy. After that, Damian never went two months without giving news about himself to Dick

Dick and Alfred always get the best gifts in the whole house

Dick is the best at reading people, this is not just a matter of body language, but actually understanding the situation and the person themselves. The more time this boy spends with someone, the better he will be able to understand them to the point of seeing transparency even in Bruce's actions

When he was little, during his circus days, he dreamed of being the ringmaster. Nowadays he is so good at reading the room and pulling strings for his own gain that he basically has made his dreams come true

He taught each of his brothers a different circus trick

Everyone blames Bruce for Damian's addiction to adopting pets, the truth is that Bruce just gave the dog, Dick allow Damian keep the cow and Dick encourages the adoption of his little brother's animals just to annoy Bruce and for everyone to blame Bruce even more

If you ask Batman who is the wost Robin, Bruce will say without hesitation that it's Dick and no one will believe in Bruce

Robin!Dick was a very energetic child, he made a lot of jokes and came from the circus and Bruce was a first-time father, so Dick was able to escape from Bruce and the mansion easily

Nowadays the only Robin who can escape Bruce's obsessive surveillance is Damian (who is a fucking ninja)

"You like the boy as if he were your son because he is a menace like you" - Jason Todd

No one believes in Bruce and Jason when they talk how difficult Dick was in the past (Babs, Kor'i, Wally and Roy can proof but they're in Dick side)

Dick knows many languages, but he really dedicated himself to learning Chinese after Cass was added to the family

The same applies for Arabic

He is actually pretty ok in hide on body if one of his siblings ask

knowing many languages can sometimes become a problem, he may forget a word in English and only remember it in a second or third language

"What is the name of that white liquid that can be ingested?"

and some hours later "MILK! The word was MILK!!!"

Dick always tries to spend quality time with all his siblings and checks in on them regularly (Cass and Damian are the most difficult since they don't use social media much)

Dick and Babs currently knows about Jason fanfiction account, they also reads the fics and leaves comments (Jason will never know it)

He also knows about Damian's fanart account, but will never tell the boy that (if you think Bruce and Tim are terrible you've definitely never read anything about Dick Grayson and its show)

His relationship with Bruce is complicated, to the point that they only interact after Damian's arrival. Dick still tries to understand Bruce, but he keeps the bar low

Never touch him without permission

He became a police officer to try to combat corruption, he gave up the profession due to corruptio, and as being Nightwing allows him to attack the corrupt he will be the hero to keep punch corrupt in their face (I really don't get why in hell he becomes a cop)

Jim Gordon hates him

Dick might get exhausted from all the work, vigilantism, his siblings, and Bruce's weekly batshit, and when that happens he just lays on the floor while Haley the dog plays around him (and sometimes one of his siblings join them, usually Cass or Damian)

"Richard what do you want for Christmas?" - Damian asked one time and Dick in full low maintenance mood "A break"

that Christmas Damian gave Dick a brick, apparently the boy confused the words and didn't understand why Dick started laughing when he received the gift, but Damian was very happy to know that his older brother loved the gift to the point of laughing until his belly hurt

and now every time Dick get exhausted he just sit with Haley the Dog and look at the brick and start laugh (yep, he keeps the brick)

Some batkid headcanon: Damian || Duke || Cassandra || Stephanie || Tim || Jason || Dick

[artist-issues]

this my sound silly, but do you have any advice on how you come up with something to say for a story?

I think you're right that good art has something to say and communicates it well. That's certainly true of every story I've ever loved.

But while I love inventing fantasy worlds, you've made me realize I've never actually planned to say anything with them.

I've got lots of opinions, lots of beliefs, lots of stuff to say, but now that I realize I need to, it's been hard to pick one of those to be the core point of a story.

the trouble is, the dominant writing advice I saw online was the opposite. that stories made for the purpose of communicating a message or promoting something just turn into preachy propaganda, so the best way to make a good story (that, dare I invoke the curse, appealed to a wider audience) was to muddy it so you could take away as many interpretations from it as possible. thus most of the material I've given myself to work with has been slightly poisoned.

I really like how you said all of that! I agree with your assessment of the advice most people give.

Here's how I do it:

A loose concept, like a disgraced knight falling in love with the King's head of staff who's come to live in the village he's hiding in, will pop into my brain. I'll like the concept. I'll imagine one or two interactions between them that I just like.

But when it comes time to write anything down, even just for my own notes—then it's time to find a message. And usually that's not hard, or at least, that's not disingenuous, because:

what I believe, my worldview, was already subliminally shaping the things that I liked.

So then as I go to write down the names, the histories, the plot points, of my fun little knight love story idea, I find that something kind of...readily fits them.

But now here's the catch; it really helps to know what you believe, and to feel strongly about it, for all of that to come as naturally as possible.

About Propaganda "versus" Stories:

It's a lie to say that something which is created to say something is always propaganda, and something which is created with no careful point thought out is always art. Silly thing to believe. It's like saying "all words are propaganda." No, all words are communication. It's not our fault they don't like that we know what we want to say, and we want them to understand it clearly.

I mean. All art is propaganda, if by "propaganda" or "preachy" you mean, "I tried to take what was going on in my head & heart and put it in your head & heart." All art, all storytelling, is that. Otherwise you'd just keep what you think and feel bouncing around in your own brain, instead of doing anything outward (writing, drawing, painting, singing, speaking, reacting with your body language) with it.

I think what people are getting at when they say "avoid being preachy" or "that's not art, it's propaganda" is "you weren't being genuine." And that can be true. Sometimes people can tack a meaning onto a movie or a story where it doesn't fit because they either a) don't believe that strongly in the thing themselves, but everyone around them was clamoring for it or b) they were lazy and didn't do the work to make the story fit, genuinely, with the message, in a way that enhances and makes the message winsome.

But as bad as those two mistakes are, neither of them prove that intending to say something with your story, very carefully and genuinely, that you don't want misinterpreted, is somehow a bad thing.

Look at the fairy tales that the Brothers' Grimm collected. Look at any stories from the time before commercialism: Our oldest stories combined genuine enjoyment with the virtues and meanings that made enjoyment possible/worthwhile.

Anyway. I have a feeling you agree with me already about this so I'll hop down off that soap box.

What Comes First: Having Fun Making What You Like, or Choosing Something to Say?

I don't think it is wrong to tell a story that...you didn't have an intended thesis written down for. I think people like J.R.R. Tolkien and Walter Elias Disney prove that. But the thing is, what they believed got infused into their storytelling, because of course it did. It can't help it. When you want the audience to like your lead character, you make her likeable—but the traits you think are likeable are informed by something.

Snow White is innocent and pure because Walt Disney naturally considered those things beautiful and good and worth liking. He probably didn't even think to write it down and revolve everything around it: it just came out that way.

Frodo is a little scholar, and willing to soldier on with what little he can do, despite his lack of experience, because those are character traits Tolkien felt were good and likeable. Why? Because deep down, in his worldview, he believes being book-smart and doing what you can with what you have is valuable. And that just...comes out, much like his valuing of history, in the thing he creates.

Now, if they didn't know what they believed--or if they were insecure people "blown about by every wind of false doctrine" that comes their way--or if they were focused more on satisfying what the largest number of people liked--they wouldn't have been able to infuse the story with any genuine meaning, planned-out or natural.

That's what I think.

I think it's all a matter of loving what's good and true. Training your affections, so that you care most about things that are worth caring about—the things you feel most strongly about in characters will be the things you feel most strongly about in life. I love Stitch because I love redemption. Not primarily because I love sci-fi characters, the color blue, or the blend of ugly-and-cute—even though I do like those things on a more minor scale. See?

But if you've trained your affections for junk food—you feel most strongly appreciative of characters that are hot, or spout off funny one-liners, or come onscreen to cool music—then that's what will naturally come up in your own storytelling.

There's also nothing wrong with doing it the other way; saying you want to teach a certain lesson, and then coming up with characters and settings to fit that lesson. Coming at it from that direction is just as valid—as long as you put in the work, and care more about that lesson you genuinely believe in than you do what other people think.

Anyway,

To Write Your Own Main Point/Thesis/Armature/Theme

When it’s time to start writing anything down, it’s time to figure out the main point, and that’s when I...typically think about what I'd want to teach the kids I'm around, to be honest.

With my disgraced-knight love story, I go "what is it he loves about the girl, in all those vague vibe-y scenes I’ve been picturing?" And I make the connection between her virtuous character traits to what I want him, the main character, to learn.

So for example, she used to live in the palace, working for the King, but she was humble enough to give all that up and live in a no-name town to take care of her stepfather. He's disgraced and doesn't want anyone to know who he is—well, that's a pride issue, totally the opposite of how humble his love interest is. And why’s she humble? Because she’s not focused on herself. She doesn’t care about her own reputation or status. So then I just reverse engineer that: the point of the story is "Live in the King's name, not your own." Now one of the two main characters embodies that—the other has to learn it, and the story is the obstacle course he’s pushed through to get there.

I wasn't consciously thinking about making her the king's former head of staff, or him disgraced, when I first came up with the vague concept of the story, see? I just liked the "vibe" of a hopeless dude suddenly seeing a ray of light in the "vibe" of a girl from poor circumstances who seems happy regardless of them. I liked that "vibe." Then I traced what I liked about the vibe back to something that is true and worth teaching or appreciating in real life.

I’m in a job I don’t love right now, and it could make me miserable, but if I just remember “in everything you do, whether in word or in deed, do for the glory of the Lord,” then my focus isn’t on myself and I have joy and hope. And that hope can be used to point others, around me, to hope, too. So I’m not “preaching” something disingenuous; I’m living it, because this is what I believe, so no wonder it’s also leaking it’s way into my story. I just happen to be creating a pipe so that the leak flows more smoothly, which can only help, in the long run.

But I’ve done it other ways, too. Once I watched kind of from afar as a friend’s family fell apart. I felt like, from the outside, I could see where one of my friends was hurting and what they needed to accept (from the Bible) to move forward, but I wasn’t in a position to say it to my friend directly. Then I figured, “if my one friend is going through this situation, others probably are too, and this lesson from the Bible is universal anyway” so I…made up an analogy for the way their family fell apart, then came up with an ending that taught the “family” in the analogy the lesson I got from the Bible. So for that, you can see how I first came up with the main point, then built up characters and a world and a story to fit around it.

Both ways work, the chicken or the egg first. But they only work if you are committed to working hard and serving others with your story, not committed to being popular or “only making what YOU like.”

Make sense? I hope so! Thank you for the question!

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | 19

❥𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; In order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires - he calls it a mutual help

❥𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: jungkook x reader

❥𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fake dating au, smut, fluff, angst, slow burn

❥𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: explicit language, dirty talk, oral sex (f.), usage of s*xtoy, unprotected s., multiple orgasms, overstimulation

❥𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 18.4k+

⇠ prev. | next ⇢

a/n: originally #53

It's fascinating how even after getting back to the front of Jungkook's car and a few minutes of riding back to the house, you can still feel the remains of the faintest – yet very noticeable – tingle from your previous orgasm. Jungkook – who remains to have that captivating orgasm glow or it's just your mind playing tricks on you – has put an end to your thirst, or at least that's what you thought for a short period of time. That's until you find yourself glancing his way while the aftermath of a great orgasm buzzes through your body.

If you weren't suspiciously coming back later than the actual ride is supposed to take, you wouldn't resist a possible round two. You can't believe yourself. This is not really like you. You never were driven by lust and pleasure before – at least not to this amount. Jungkook does wonders, not only to your body but to your mind as you often find yourself rethinking... well, yourself.

It's hard to explain, but it's like he brings out another person in you. Someone you never knew existed, at least not to this extent. You know the pleasure he gives you and the undeniable attraction is the reason why you're still doing this. It feels too fucking good to let go.

Before the unwanted thoughts start to invade your mind, the content feeling of being properly fucked just a few minutes ago is replaced by guilt. Not only Jungkook's father questions you of your later arrival, even though you're about ten minutes late, it's Haru and the sight of her that makes you feel bad for allowing yourself a few minutes of – absolutely perfect and irreplaceable – pleasure.

It's some time past nine in the evening, clouds no longer visible as they're replaced by the faintest stars that are sprinkled across the night sky. The garden is fully set up with beautiful outdoor lights, probably the only thing keeping Haru from falling asleep. She looks tired, Taehyung would surely call her wasted if that was possible. She's completely dozing off and though Jungkook's father (or anyone else) doesn't scold you for your arrival, because there's no reason for it, you understand his granddaughter is what sparked his curiosity.

Jungkook lies effortlessly. The lie rolls off his tongue almost skilfully as he blames the traffic and more customers in the grocery store than usual.

No one pays attention to it though, luckily for you, and they go back to their previous conversation. Mr. Jeon rushes to grill the sausages for his only granddaughter, Haru seemingly coming back to life as she assists him with her small hands.

"You really don't know how to act." Jungkook comments, handing you a can of beer which you gladly take, even though you weren't planning on drinking.

"What are you talking about?" you ask, opening the can followed with a hissing sound.

"Guilt is written all over your face, a way to look suspicious." he snorts, your mouth falling open in disbelief while you're being called out.

"Not everyone can lie so easily," you raise your brow at him, finding him cockily shrugging at his good acting skills. "Poor Haru, she's been waiting for the food and we took our time."

"That was us taking our time?" he snorts, raising his brow this time at you as you sheepishly offer him a doubtful shrug. "We both know that's not true. Besides, she was eating like an hour ago, she's not hungry, just greedy."

"Jungkook!" you exclaim, holding back a laugh at his completely honest expression while he shows no big deal of what he has just said.

"What, it's true!" he laughs, "I'm not gonna rush back to the house for some fucking sausages." he mutters mockingly so only you can hear, the beer almost coming out of your nose after you decide to take a sip right as he says it.

You laugh together, not being able to hold it back while you're trying to cover your mouth at least.

"Come on, you two! Join us!" Sona calls out to you, interrupting the moment between you two as she waves you over.

"You're living with Jungkook at the moment, right?"

It's something they all must've known at some point, though this is the first time anyone addresses it besides Mrs. Jeon's phone call you remember very freshly.

"Ah, yes." you grin, a little embarrassed for some reason.

Perhaps it's just you and your issue with not wanting to look incapable or like a burden. It's a whole another chapter to be talking about it in front of Jungkook's family. Though they've never given you a reason to feel embarrassed or weird about anything, you do find yourself tensing a little at the topic. Calm down, Y/N. They're just having a normal conversation with you.

After Sona's question, you offer them a brief explanation of what actually happened and force you to make this decision. They all seem understanding, making no big deal of you staying at Jungkook's place – even though you know there's no reason why they would make a big deal out of it. At the end of the day, it's Jungkook's business and not theirs. You do feel way better when they actually encourage you for your decision, assuring you that you've done the right thing.

"... I don't understand how someone can do that to the person they rent their place to." Mrs. Jeon scoffs a little, the rest of the family members nodding along her words as they silently agree.

"It's unfortunate really," Jungwon agrees, "But this can happen unfortunately."

"You mentioned something about finding a new place?" Sona asks curiously and you nod, a spark of hope crossing over your features as you nod with a smile.

"Yes!" you respond, "Well I haven't been there to see it yet, but the apartment looks good. Actually I texted the owner and I'm still waiting for him to get back to me, it seems like many people are interested in it. That's just my guess though."

"Well, we're gonna hope you get your own home soon." Mrs. Jeon smiles kindly at you. "Nothing's better than having your own place."

"Thank you." you smile kindly at her, appreciating the honesty and kindness.

Jungkook remains silent, at least was busy talking to his dad on the side for most of the time, but he's standing right next to you.

It got a little chilly and though you have one of Jungkook's hoodies on, you feel the warmth radiating off his body and you wish you could just snuggle closer to him to feel even warmer. Plus, you're getting tired even though it's not that late and cuddling always seems like a good option.

Sona and Jungwon say their goodbye's shortly after, poor Haru already falling asleep in her father's arms as he carries her to their car. You help Jungkook's parents to clean up and after the little nudge from Jungkook telling you to go wash up first, you listen to him. He must've noticed your tiredness and you smile at him appreciatively.

The shower feels nice and even though you would prefer taking a long bath, you stick to your shower routine rather quickly not to take up the bathroom for too long. Mr. Jeon takes his turn after the bathroom is free, offering you a tired yet warm smile before he scurries to their bedroom.

You lay on Jungkook's bed with the night lamp on, scrolling through your social media for a couple of minutes until you don't hear any other footsteps. Jungkook didn't come upstairs to wash up and you wonder what's taking him so long. After realizing you didn't bring a bottle of water to the bedroom, you sigh and make your way downstairs.

On your way down, you notice the lights are on in the living room and what sounds like soft sobs reach your ears. You halt your steps, breath hitching when you glance around the corner to find Jungkook's mom whose shoulders quiver as she cries to his shoulder. You mentally gasp at the sad sight, wondering what the hell happened.

Jungkook doesn't notice you at first, too busy hugging his mother with one hand as he gently caresses her arm.

"It's okay, mom." he mutters, voice slightly high while he can't bear the sight of his mother crying.

You don't mean to stick around, feeling like you're interrupting their moment for sure. However, just when you're about to forget the water and retrieve back to the room, Jungkook notices you. He sees the confusion, yet worry on your face while he sends a soft, but broken smile in return. You fight the urge to go there and be there for him, but you know now it's not the right time and you have to put your worry aside.

It doesn't make sense, at least not until Mrs. Jeon sniffles and says into Jungkook's shoulder;

"How could she do that to you?"

You swear your heart drops the moment she speaks, Jungkook's eyes staying on yours while he raises his brows in a silent empathy.

"You went through that all alone?"

Her voice cracks and Jungkook presses his lips together to prevent himself from breaking down. He looks composed though, and strong because no matter what his mother is going through right now after finding out what her son went through, he came to terms with it. He experienced heartbreak, pain and loss, but he's moving on and it doesn't hurt like it used to.

It doesn't make it easier to see his mother's understandable reaction though.

"Shh, I'm okay mom. I'm okay." he assures her, voice slightly breaking as he hugs her closer, placing his cheek against the top of her head as she continues to cry for him.

Deciding you shouldn't stick around, you offer Jungkook a tiny and sad smile before you quickly make your way upstairs.

When the room is swallowed in darkness and you stare into the ceiling, you keep replaying the scene you've just seen. You wonder if she's okay. If Jungkook is too. He seemed fine. He looked mostly sad because of his mother crying which is understandable. Their bond is strong.

It's clear what Jungkook revealed to his mother and though you're not sure how much he told her, you know it had to be heartbreaking to hear it. She loves her sons deeply, and to know Jungkook really had a hard time and she didn't know, wasn't there for him, is enough to be heartbreaking for any mother.

Jungkook never specifically said he won't tell her. But he might've hinted on not wanting to, fearing her reaction and for mostly, hurting her with the truth. In a way, he was protecting her from it.

There are continuous footsteps and sounds of movements outside of the room, soon replaced by door closing and shower running. You keep tossing in the bed, wondering whether you should go downstairs and check on Jungkook once the whole house quiets down.

You don't really want to come out as nosy and if Jungkook wanted to let you know, he would already stop by. Not going to lie, you are curious to know what he told her even though it's obvious. But you're mostly worried.

Sighing in annoyance to yourself, you get out of the bed as your feet pad against the floor. Just as you're reaching for the door handle, it suddenly gets pushed open before you can even touch it, causing you to almost shit yourself.

"Shit!"

"Heard that one before."

"Oh my god," you touch your forehead to rub it a few times as Jungkook sneaks inside the room, the amusement once again present in his voice as he silently laughs at your reaction. "You scared me."

"Where were you going?" he asks, ignoring your statement as you both make your way to the bed. At least you do and Jungkook follows.

"To check on you," you answer. "But I didn't know if I should. I told myself you would come here if you wanted to talk."

"I came." he says gently, getting under the covers with you but you decide not to comment on it.

You lay on your back, back staring at your ceiling as you stay in utter silence. Jungkook lays on his side, turned to you while his fingertips start to draw random patterns on your exposed arm. You gulp, close to shivering from how nice it feels.

"I told her," he says quietly.

You lick your dry lips, humming in return. "What did you tell her?"

Jungkook knows you know what the topic of their conversation was. He hears it in your voice. And he's aware of you asking what exactly he told her. So he simply says;

"Everything."

"Everything as in...?" you trail off and Jungkook chuckles at how careful you appear to be.

"Yes, everything."

That's all you need to know.

"How do you feel?"

"Surprisingly, okay." he says, surprised by himself. "I thought I would feel awful after telling her what I've been through, especially since she asked you and obviously had her doubts. You know I don't want to bother her, not even when it comes to me." he whispers as he explains.

You nod understandably.

"It wasn't easy to see her breaking down in front of me. I don't like to see people I care about cry. It's one of the reasons why I don't share my personal struggles."

"I know, that's awfully touching and annoying for us." you joke quietly, causing him to quietly laugh.

"But she's okay. I think she mostly cried because I didn't tell her sooner. But I think she would cry either way, no matter the time." he chuckles a little sadly.

"Why did you tell her? I thought you didn't want them to know."

"To be honest, I was planning it. I don't really need them looking at me differently, or to pity me from a distance even though I'm aware they all care extremely about me. I just want to be the same Jungkook for them, you know what I mean?"

You nod.

"But when you were talking with Sona, mom and dad, even Jungwon... asked me about Kiko and as you know, I only told them we broke up because our relationship wasn't what it was. They just asked about her, and couldn't possibly understand what must've happened for us to break things off. And I get it, I do. They saw our relationship from the front row as some might say, she was practically our family,"

He takes a breath.

"From what I understood, they thought we're on good terms and I don't know... I guess I felt sick of hiding it from them. It felt right to tell them at that time, so I started with mom. Coincidentally, she asked about how I'm doing and all that, it was just a great opportunity to tell her."

"I'm happy for you, Kook. I mean, I don't know if that's the right thing to say but I hope you feel better after telling them." you tell him gently as the caressing of his fingers stops for a second.

"I'm not sure if I feel better, I can't really define it. I just feel like I don't have this burden on my chest, you know?"

"Well, as long as you don't regret telling her, I think it's a good thing you feel this way."

"I don't regret it. I'm gonna tell Jungwon tomorrow, I'm supposed to meet him before we return back home. I asked mom to tell dad, I don't really want to go through that all over again but I'm sure my dad won't cry his eyes out for me. He's a tough guy."

You know what he means.

His father might not have a reaction like his wife had, but it's still going to be painful for him to hear Jungkook's story.

You yawn, turning onto your side to face Jungkook as he retrieves his hand, chuckling at the evident tiredness.

"Shit, I don't know why I'm so tired. I woke up the last out of everyone." you scold yourself, much to Jungkook's amusement.

"I took a number on you, huh?"

You roll your eyes, not really denying it because that has definitely something to do with it.

"Are you gonna sleep here?" you yawn again, cuddling to your pillow as Junkook snorts.

"Of course, this is my bedroom."

With your closed eyes, you smile tiredly. "Your mom–"

"My mom won't do anything," he interrupts you, "What she doesn't know won't kill her."

You snort, "You're unbelievable."

"So are you, baby." he muses, "Now go to sleep."

You let out a laugh, ignoring the flattering of your heart from the usual and dearing pet name, allowing yourself to fall asleep in Jungkook's close and comfortable proximity.

"So... what do you think?"

Jungkook awaited this question, so once you turn around with an excitement plastered all over your face, it's no surprise. You've been practically glowing the moment you crossed the doorstep. To be honest, he's sure you've been impressed as soon as you got out of the car and saw the neighborhood.

You've been back from Busan for three days when the owner of the apartment you're interested in finally gave you the date to go there and have a look. Of course he agreed when you asked him if he's going to accompany you. He promised you he'll be there for you. And so he is.

The building is unique and so is the apartment itself. The owner told you you could bring your own furniture since there's no bed, couch or anything you were forced to sell because of what happened with the other apartment. It doesn't bother you for sure, he's sure of it because he knows you're excited to furniture it again. You're also excited to have a place of your own, even if it's still a rented apartment but unfortunately, you can't afford to get a mortgage nor do you want to do that at the moment.

Jungkook knows all about your plans, you've talked about them a few times.

So when he sees happiness, hope and excitement – there is no reason why he should lie to you.

"It's great. I love it." he smiles and you almost squeal in another excitement but you're trying to contain it.

The owner seems to be nice – in his forties – living nearby with his wife and kids. He loves this apartment so much that he didn't want to hire any real estate agent. He could've easily avoided any other responsibility but it looks like he cares about who's going to live in his apartment. He even tells you – amongst telling you every important information about the apartment – how this was the first apartment he was able to buy. He lived here with his girlfriend who's now his wife.

"It's small enough for four of us, so we had to move out when my wife got pregnant but trust me. If we all could fit here, we would be living here." He told you which made both of you chuckle.

"I would say this place is wonderful for a young couple." Mr. Hwang – as he introduced himself to you – butts in while your eyes widen.

"Oh no, we're not–this apartment is just for me." you explain, Jungkook looking around completely unfazed by the assumption. Don't people always assume something?

"Oh, I'm sorry!" He's quick to apologize.

He had no way to know it's only for you. Well, you did contact him about being interested but you never really shared information about you being the only one who would live there. And to be completely clear, you came here with Jungkook which wouldn't have to mean anything at all – but his assumption isn't this huge mistake.

Still, you find your cheeks getting warm as you assure him it's alright.

Mr. Hwang excuses himself when his phone starts to ring and he leaves you both standing in the middle of the living room.

"Why do people always have to assume whenever a woman is seen with a man, they have to automatically date?" you hiss once he's away.

You turn to Jungkook who looks at you with big eyes, before they narrow into thin slits as he laughs at your showing annoyance.

"Doesn't that bother you?"

Jungkook cracks a grin, "I don't care what people think." he shrugs causing you to groan.

In reality, Jungkook understands your frustration and it's not like you're overly frustrated because of it. Observant and maybe a tad annoyed is the right definition.

"Stop with the sour face."

His brows shoot up as he looks at you confusingly. "What sour face?"

"You really don't want me to move out?" you ask him with a grin, slowly making your way in his direction as the teasing begins and Jungkook is aware of it. Which is why he responds with a roll of his doe eyes.

"I'm happy you found your place."

"That's not what I'm talking about," you point out, giggling when he narrows his eyes at you in annoyance. "Would you really want me to take up your office? Come on, we both know it wasn't ideal."

"I like having you as my roommate," he informs and then cracks a grin, "Even if you take up my office space."

You nudge him in his chest causing him to laugh. You bicker a little, especially by trying to pinch or grab one another. That's until Mr. Hwang comes back, apologizing again for having to take the call. It causes you to act like proper adults instead of kids bickering with each other.

When he asks the important question, you share a look with Jungkook and despite his previous words, he encourages you with a smile and soft nod which makes you look excitedly at Mr. Hwang.

"Yes. I'd love to live here."

The next few days are hectic.

Not only are you about to move into your new apartment, there is loads of stuff to be bought and ordered. Jungkook helps you every step of the way, even driving you to all the furniture shops your mind comes up with. Not mentioning he's the one carrying the heavy things and disassembling your bed.

You feel bad though.

As per usual, he assures you it's okay and he's happy to help. You both know you have no one else who would do this much for you. Jimin and Taehyung would try but – do they even know how to disassemble a single bed? They would probably mess around the whole time.

All of this happened fast.

Mr. Hwang told you you could move in right after the contract has been signed and you paid the deposit. You wouldn't want to waste any more time than it's necessary. So you started ordering the furniture pieces you need, having them delivered to your new address. Everything should arrive tomorrow and today happens to be your last day living in Jungkook's apartment.

Despite your excitement and anticipation of decorating your new home, you do feel sad gathering all your things and packing them back to the boxes that were never thrown away.

Jungkook isn't the only one who got used to having a roommate.

If it was anyone else, you're not sure if you would feel comfortable with them. With Jungkook, everything is different and even if this was for the time being, you felt comfortable and his place felt like home to you.

Not going to lie. You will miss his amazing bathtub and shower.

"You can come take a bath anytime you want."

That's what he told you and brought a smile to your faces.

"Should we do anything special? Celebrate?" Jungkook asks as he wipes his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Hm, what do you have in mind?"

It's already evening – too late to make any big celebrations. Do you even feel like celebrating? You've both been back to working, even Jimin and Taehyung have been busy with their jobs.

"Take-away and maybe a glass of wine?" he suggests, not really having much to offer considering the time. None of you are in the mood to get dressed up and go out.

After a whole day of working and then packing as soon as you've gotten home – to Jungkook's place – going out is out of the question.

So take-away and a glass of wine it is.

You both clean up, wiping all the sweat from the entire day. While you're in a shower, Jungkook orders food after checking with you and even though you've agreed – you're still touched to see your favorite food which happens to be Korean food from a local restaurant. It's the one that's slightly pricey but worth every penny.

You talk, mostly about tomorrow's plans since you have to wake up early to get to your new place where the new furniture will be delivered. Jimin and Taehyung are supposed to come too to help, which you appreciate. They wouldn't take any of your words for a "no", insisting on helping you. Well, you didn't protest too much. Four people do more work than just two – you're sure Jungkook is the one who's got the most work.

The wine tastes nice and you're on your second glass when you feel your face getting a nice warm temperature. It suddenly makes you oddly sad to be sitting in Jungkook's kitchen, almost like saying goodbye which is ridiculous.

Jimin was right.

You're bad with changes.

You never denied it.

And this is one of them. You know you will bounce back once you're alone, but now having Jungkook close and thinking you won't be waking up every morning knowing there's someone else there, feels sad.

You also know how fortunate you're when it comes to finding this apartment. And for it to be only yours. Most people have to have a roommate, if not more than one. This opportunity feels like a sign for the universe and you should be joyful about it. You are. But you will miss this.

Once you're done, teeth brushed and tucked in Jungkook's bed, there's something unspoken lingering in the air as you both lay in the room with lights off. With your bed already ready to be taken to your new place tomorrow, Jungkook's bed seems like the best option for you and who are you not to use this opportunity. You hate to admit how much you enjoy simply being next to him, a nice feeling before you will have your bed all to yourself and you'll be left alone.

A couple of minutes of constant staring at the ceiling slowly turns to shifting, you sigh as you rub your face. On the other side of the bed, Jungkook turns to face you as the thin sheets rustle around him. You thought he fell asleep by now.

"Are you okay?" he chuckles, causing you to do the same when you realize you haven't been very subtle at showing your lack of exhaustion.

The thing is that you're tired, especially from the wine but somehow you can't fall asleep. It's nothing unusual since it happened to you quite a few times.

"Are you nervous about the moving process?" Jungkook asks softly as you turn to your side to properly face him, a hand tucked beneath your cheek as you give him a sigh.

"No. Not really, I'm excited." you admit, "I just can't seem to be tired enough."

"You know... I'm proud of you. I don't think I've told you that these days." Jungkook says as your brows shoot up in a silent surprise.

"Proud of me?" you breathe out a chuckle.

"Mhm," he hums, "I know you felt like a nuisance which is far from the truth, I know you hate relying on someone else but look at you. You've found yourself a new place, you've got a good job and you're doing good."

Your heart warms up at his thoughtful and caring words. They feel like the greatest balm onto your beating heart. To hear someone is proud of you – you don't get to hear that often – is something that makes you nearly emotional and you hold back any tears that might come out.

It's not Jungkook's intention to make you cry or him wanting to turn into a sappy person in the middle of the night. He's warm and caring when it's needed but he doesn't say this kind of stuff often either. So it makes you cherish this moment even more.

"Thank you." you whisper softly, smiling at Jungkook who you're not sure can even see you.

A gentle sound comes out of his mouth, the one who tells you he has smiled back.

A sudden urge to pee interrupts the moment though and you groan, informing Jungkook about having to use the bathroom. He laughs while you make your way to the bathroom. Once you're done, Jungkook seems to be still fully awake which isn't much of a surprise. You didn't expect him to be asleep in two minutes – which you wouldn't put past him too much.

You lay back on the bed, adjusting your pillow before your head falls back onto the soft material.

Not even five minutes later, you groan once again rather loudly, slapping your arms at your sides as Jungkook cackles silently. Standing up, you make your way to the kitchen when you turn on the dim lightning. Opening the fridge, you take out the cold bottle of wine that you and Jungkook haven't finished. You pour yourself a glass of wine, hoping for it to tire you some more.

Sipping on the wine, you try not to think about how depressing you must look like – mentally laughing at the image. You've got no thoughts, just simply enjoying the taste of wine and your last night at this place.

A sound of soft footsteps follows and a moment after, Jungkook joins you in the kitchen with squinted eyes as he scans you and the glass of wine in your hand. "You okay?" He cracks a grin as you silently giggle and nod.

Are you? You're not sure because of the lack of clothing he's wearing. You swear you could stare at those abs all day.

"Just can't sleep."

"And wine is going to help?" He grins, wrapping his fingers around your hand as he tilts the glass in his direction as he takes a sip. Lips in a straight line for a second, he tastes the flavor on his lips while his eyes flicker to yours, waiting for your answer.

Too preoccupied with staring at him, you realize you haven't responded as you avert your gaze and crack another grin. "Should it not?"

He leans against the counter, arms crossing over his chest and biceps bulging, you choose to take a sip to distract yourself. But trying to distract yourself in Jungkook's presence is almost impossible, especially when he opens that dirty mouth of his.

"I could've tired you out in a much more sophisticated way."

The wine almost gets through your nose and with a hand over your mouth, you're trying not to choke as Jungkook shoots you a pleased smirk.

He might've caught you off guard, but you can't deny what could possibly be a verbal act of teasing, does to you. Your body heats up at his suggestion and instead of scolding him, you decide to play his own game. That's what the two of you do, right? Tease each other until you properly act on it. You wouldn't mind that outcome to be honest.

"You could've. I don't know why you didn't suggest it while we were in bed." you hum, turning to him a little as you swirl the goldish liquid in your glass.

Jungkook's eyes spark with mischief and amusement, tongue poking his cheek. "I don't need a bed for that though."

One point for him.

"Hm, really?" you muse, biting your lower lip as you finish the glass and place it back on the counter.

Stepping closer to him, you're face to face as you confidently place your palms over his buffed exposed chest. The skin is warm and soft, edging you to feel him up until you have enough. Controlling yourself, you focus on his eyes instead while something rolls in the pit of your stomach. Palms giving him soft caressing, staying solely on his chest, you mimic his tiny smirk.

"So you could ruin me?" You recall what he told you.

The truth is, you haven't forgotten and you've caught yourself thinking about it too many times. What are Jungkook's boundaries? What does he want to do to your body? Perhaps if this was any other man, you wouldn't be so adamant on finding out. But you trust Jungkook with every fiber in your body, there's nothing but curiosity, excitement and lust.

Something flickers in his gaze, a recognition of his once said words as he stares you down amusingly.

"I know what you're doing."

"Hm, what am I doing?" you ask, playfully glancing at him once again as you catch yourself staring at his chest, where your hands caress it.

"You little minx, you know." he chuckles, "You're trying to provoke me."

"Oh, I do?" you feign innocence, chuckling at yourself right after while you and Jungkook share a knowing look.

This constant teasing and provoking is what makes your body heat up. It's hard not to squeeze your legs together as a wave of arousal washes through you.

Jungkook leans down, hands on your lower back as he squeezes your sides, inching his face closer to yours. His nose touches yours and you're embarrassed how quickly you're prepared for the kiss. But the kiss never happens and Jungkook decides to play with you for a while, nudging his nose against yours before he opens his dirty mouth again.

"You horny?"

Groaning and ignoring his laugh, you slap his chest and take a step back. "You just ruined it."

He laughs louder, rubbing his nose before he catches you before you can walk away, turning you with your back facing him. He presses you against him, your ass touching his crotch while he squeezes your hips once again.

"What's ruined can be fixed."

And then he delivers a soft kiss to your jaw.

"That's very debatable." you breathe out, turning around as much as you enjoyed his lips on your skin.

Wanting to gain at least some kind of dominance, you press him harder into the counter as you raise your brow at him in challenge. A tiny smirk comes to your lips. Your hands no longer stay on his chest, making way down to his abs that flex under your touch and you let out a breathy chuckle. Jungkook's watching you, cocking his brow at you when you glance at him. He's waiting for your next step and deciding you want to make him react, you cup his groin as your thumb caresses the head hidden beneath his boxers.

He wasn't expecting you to do that, therefore he flinches at the sudden and straight-forward touch and your lips curve in a silent win.

"What? You think you're the only one with tricks up their sleeve?" you tease, his doe eyes narrowing as he licks his lips.

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and you feel your walls of short-lived dominance and power falling down. Especially when he flickers gently your chin with his index finger.

"Not at all."

"So?" You raise your brow in impatience again.

"So, what?"

You roll your eyes while he tries to hide a smile. "I'm starting to think you're all talk, Jeon."

His brows shoot up before he nods with his lips pursed in a mocking manner.

"Yeah, you are. Talking about ruining me, then saying I'm not ready. Whatever that means... and then you don't do any–what the hell?"

Tucking his arms behind your thighs, in one swift movement you're thrown over Jungkook's shoulder. He tries to stabilize you through your yelps and once you're safe, he starts walking to his bedroom.

A rush of excitement overcomes your body and just when you giggle, a slap is delivered onto your ass which shuts you up.

Before you can say anything, Jungkook kicks the bedroom door ajar and sets you onto his bed.

"You want me to ruin you?" he asks, standing at the end of the bed as he stares down at you and your disheveled appearance due to your shock.

Walking to his nightstand, he turns off his night lamp and you get a perfect view of his darkened eyes. 

"Isn't that what I asked for?" you breathe out, not hiding how breathy you got all of a sudden. The adrenaline and lust do their job.

"I will ruin you until you cry." It sounds like a promise.

"You sound confident." you comment, smirking as he frowns before he hovers over you.

Not responding, he starts kissing your jaw slowly continuing down your neck as he tugs on your oversized shirt but he doesn't urge you to take it off. Nor he says anything once he pulls away, giving you a subtle smirk before he plops on his back in the middle of the bed. He lowers down onto the soft pillows.

"Come here."

You sit up, confused and curious, and make your way towards him as he ushers you to get on his lap. You do, trying not to stare at the slowly growing bulge between his thighs while he licks his lips.

"Sit on my face."

"Pardon?"

He laughs silently, making himself even more comfortable with your weight on him. "Sit on my face."

You know what that means. Despite not trying it before, you're not a clueless person to these things. You just can't believe you're actually hearing him say it.

"I know it's cliché to say this but... wouldn't I suffocate you? Because I'm not sure if I can hold myself up for too—"

"Y/N, baby," he sighs, "Just fucking come sit on my face."

"Okay." you repeat, releasing a nervous chuckle as you stare down at your shirt.

"Take it off. All of it." he prompts you and you listen.

His eyes never leave your figure, watching silently the entire time you undress right in front of him. He eyes you up and down as if you were the finest meal, even though he has seen you naked more than any of the men you've been before. Men – if they can be called that.

It's one of the things why it works so well between you and him. He makes you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. There might be times when you're nervous, wondering what he's thinking about you or your body, though he never gave you even a reason to question him about that. Jungkook might be great at hiding a lot of things, but voicing how much he likes sex with you is not one of them. You both aren't hiding this obvious fact.

He stares at your hardened nipples, before he watches you take off your underwear and toss it on the floor. And then with the slightest smirk, he motions for you to get closer to him and finally sit on his face.

You're impossibly wet, but rather than feel embarrassed about it, you get this boost of confidence and dominance once you hover over Jungkook. He grabs you by the back of your thighs, moving your heat right in front of his face as he takes in the sight. Licking his lips, he briefly tells you to grab onto the headboard.

His hot breath fans you between your thighs and you shudder, your hands grabbing the wooden headboard before he pushes you down onto his face. You gasp, both from the shock and indescribable feeling of Jungkook's mouth on you. His nose pokes your clit, tongue gathering the wetness before his mouth starts to move.

You're trying to hold yourself up, somewhere in the back of your mind still thinking about not wanting to physically hurt him but as soon as you move even an inch from his face, he growls and pushes you down.

"Holy shit."

Jungkook's mouth is preoccupied, therefore there is no time for any verbal reactions but even then, he hums pleasantly against you and you swear you hear him moaning in the middle of it.

Back arching and body moving on its own, you start grinding against his face while your knuckles turn white from how hard you're gripping the black wood. Apart from this being a completely new sensation and experience for you, you would give Jungkook the highest rate there could be. Losing a track of time and focusing on the pleasure, you inform him of being close to reaching an awesome orgasm that could easily tire you out.

Your body tenses, barely comprehending what's happening around you or even outside of this apartment, you're waiting for the sudden snap of the knot that's sitting in the pit of your stomach.

But as easily the hunt for orgasm has come, it leaves even quicker once Jungkook stops moving his mouth and pushes you up. Your face is curled in mortification, worried you might've suffocated him and the fit of scolding is on tip of your tongue once you quickly check on him.

However – despite his heavy breathing – you're met with his glistening face and mouth curved in satisfaction. "You're not cumming that easily, baby."

You get off him, staring wide-eyed with an open mouth, you stutter over your words. Is he seriously in the mood to deny your orgasm? You wanted to play but this is now what you had in mind. But before any complaints could make it into the thick air, Jungkook sits up and wipes his face with your shirt that's been laying on the edge of his bed. He tosses it on the ground, focusing on you once again as he grabs you by the back of your neck and kisses you harshly.

Annoyance comes and goes as soon as you feel his soft pillows, tasting yourself on his tongue. He hums into the kiss, detaching your lips despite your whines.

Leaning his forehead against yours, you're too close to kiss him again. As if he could read your mind, he chuckles raspily as he gently shakes his head.

"Jeon, just fuck me." you whine, pouting at him which makes him laugh again.

"I will," he promises, gently giving a rub to your chin with his thumb. "Do we need a condom?"

He asked what?

Surprised, you pull away slightly to stare at his face to make sure you heard him right, but the same question lingers in his dark awaiting eyes.

"You heard me right," he assures you, chuckling again as he can't help but find you both funny and cute. "Do we need a condom?"

You don't realize what weight his question holds, though it's pretty simple. He's asking you if you want to act upon your desire now. The one that's been on your mind for what seems like forever. Maybe now it's not the right time to be thinking how much you appreciate him asking you beforehand, even though it's a bare minimum you would discuss anyway. But still, he's waiting for your answer and the call is completely up to you. You're the one holding power.

Knowing you could easily say no for whatever reason, Jungkook has definitely a pack of condoms hidden somewhere. He's letting you know he's fine with either.

"Are you sure?" you ask silently, trying to shake yourself out of the shock as he gives you a gentle smile that almost melts your heart.

"I am," he confirms, "Are you?"

This being the last night you actually live together, it does seem like a nice way to say goodbye to you being roomies, a way to celebrate it perhaps. Or it's just your stupid thoughts but whatever it is, you've known your answer right after he asked it. All the possible arguments with yourself or annoying overthinking is pushed aside.

"We don't need it." you confirm this time, ignoring how excited you're getting by the thought.

"Then lay back for me."

You do, staring at the ceiling for a second before you watch him make his way out of the room. Confused and baffled, you mentally sigh in relief once he comes back not even a minute after, showing you the sex toy in his hand.

"Why?" you ask simply, giggling when he tosses it next to you and hover over you with a toothy grin.

"You'll see."

Opening your mouth to complain, he shuts you up with his own mouth as he gives you a few very needed kisses as he pulls away. You rank your hands down his chest and to the hem of his boxers, pouting a little.

"I wanted to have my own fun with you." you shamelessly admit, making him laugh.

"Some next time, yeah?"

"But why?" you whine, rubbing him through his underwear just to find him fully hard.

"Oh, you're impatient, aren't you?" you tease and he rolls his eyes, poking you in your rib as you giggle.

"That might be the reason. But I also need you to be fully present. You can choke on my cock some other time."

You choke on your spit, slapping his bicep as he hides his face in the crook of your neck to hide his smile. He gently bites you there, a low hum making it out of your mouth. Despite his words, you still sneak your hand under his boxers and give him a few pumps. He lets out a breathy chuckle, looking down at you through lust filled eyes.

"You just can't help yourself, can you?" he chuckles.

"Nope."

The smile on your face doesn't last long, how can it when in one swift motion, Jungkook turns you over and harshly puts your ass up, hands gripping the soft flesh. His breath fans over the side of your face before his lips brush against your ear. "Is this how you want it?"

Honestly, you don't care in what position he puts you in. As long as he finally fucks you.

"Yeah. Just please, do something." you whine a little, perching your ass up much to his amusement.

He palms your ass. "Last chance, Y/N." Jungkook reminds you, causing you to lift your face up as you glance at him.

Blowing out a slow breath, you crack a tiny grin. "You want me to change my mind?" you tease, but raise your brow while you wait for his answer.

"Just reminding you because there's no going back."

The only reason he's reminding you of this is because of you. At the beginning, you had a hard time admitting out loud you want him like this. Most people probably don't take this seriously just as much as you do. You've been unsure from the start, though the excitement and curiosity has been piqued. You're responsible, always took precautionary measures – both of you did – because you're not in a position to risk anything. Jungkook and you don't sleep with other people, that's the whole point of you hooking up together in the first place. But you both still made sure you were safe.

But now you're about to take that part of safety away. It makes you a little paranoid, considering Jungkook's previous situation but it's not fair to compare it to that. That's what has been stopping you from fully saying fuck it and just do it. But you want to do exactly that.

Why is this even a big deal?

People have unprotected sex all the time. You and Jungkook know each other, and trust each other. He's not a stranger. You'll do this one time and you're done. You'll quench your curiosity, excitement and thirst – everything will go back to normal.

You're done overthinking this. This is what you want. What you both want.

And Jungkook is still here, making sure he won't possibly ruin things. He wants to check in with you, even now when you're seconds from pinning him to the mattress and doing things your own way.

"I know," you whisper. "I don't want to go back. I won't."

He studies your face for a second longer, leaning toward you as he presses a gentle kiss to your shoulder blade. You shiver, arching your ass as it brushes over his length making him chuckle at your anticipation.

"Alright, let's do this. Let me ruin you."

"I'm all yours." you comment amusingly, facing forward as Jungkook lets out a soft laugh.

Fuck, this is really happening. Your heart is racing when you hear Jungkook taking off his boxers, going back to his previous position that is behind you. The mattress dips under his weight and knees, hands gripping your ass as he spreads your cheek apart. Cool air hits you between your thighs, your core aching for him and only him. Fuck, you've never wanted him inside you this much.

"You're dripping baby." he says as the tip of his fingers touches your wetness, rubbing you up and down which makes you let out a shameless whimper.

"Don't comment on that, it's embarrassing." you manage to choke out, cheek pressed back against the sheets while your breathing quickens up.

Jungkook breathes out another chuckle, "I find it hot."

He retrieves his fingers, something you only feel and ready to whine again, you're interrupted when you hear a humming sound coming from his lips as he licks his fingers off. Holy shit. There's no time to look back, to see the devouring sight that's stolen from you because of your position. All is forgotten when the long awaiting friction suddenly comes, the head of his cock poking your clit as he smears your wetness there. You're a fucking mess. 

Embarrassed to admit this, you're already close to cumming and he has barely done anything. You're not kidding, you're going crazy because of this.

One hand on your hip to hold you in place and get a good grip on you, his other hand is wrapped around his cock as he aligns it with your hole. Holding your breath, your whole body tingles with anticipation and excitement. And then finally. The head of his cock presses against your opening, sinking inside you as your wet and warm walls stretch around him. Since you haven't been stretched before this, the pressure brings the greatest pain and pleasure at the same time and holy fuck, it feels like you're in an entire different universe. You feel every inch of him, everything you haven't felt before because of the stupid barrier in form of condoms. And even knowing that he's still pushing himself inside you, you know it's going to be freaking hard to go back to condoms.

Whole body shuddering, you let out a low, almost inaudible moan into the sheets, gripping them in your fists as Jungkook finally fills you to the brim. Oh my god.

"Mhm, fuck." he mutters behind you, his cock twitching inside you.

The completely new feeling comes rushing down on you as your whole body crumbles down, walls clenching around his thick and hard length as you shamelessly grind and let go. This has never happened to you before, the realization not hitting you until you calm down from your high.

"Holy fuck. Did you just cum?" Jungkook asks in awe, hands gripping your ass even tighter.

Fuck, you really did. 

It's more than clear to him. He could never mistake your orgasm for something else. But rather than tease you about it, he finds it hot and has a hard time controlling himself.

His cock is nestled deep inside you, still stretching your walls and despite your previous orgasm, your thirst is not fully quenched.

"Fuck." you moan into the sheets.

"You're so fucking hot. I might bust my nut." The idea of him doing it, filling you up feels so forbidden and dirty. The feeling that it brings is unexplainable.

He feels you clenching around him, arousal coating his entire cock and it makes him wonder. "Fuck, does that idea excite you?"

You're even dirtier than he thought. You never fail to amaze him.

He knows he can't expect any sort of response from you, your body calling to him and he decides to listen to it, delivering you the pleasure he promised he would. So with one swift movement, he pulls out enough for the head of his cock to stay inside you as he thrusts back inside. You can't speak, no words escaping you to tell him how fucking good that feels but he knows it. He sees how your body reacts, he feels it.

He groans, tilting his head back as he starts snapping his hips into yours, fucking you just like he promised. His lower abdomen hits your ass cheeks as the sounds of your skin meeting fill up the air. It's nothing you've ever imagined or dreamed of. This is way better. Breaths coming out as moans, you swallow hard when you catch yourself almost salivating at the sensation and friction.

There are no words exchanged, both of you barely able to speak as keeps his pace and hits all the right spots. You feel him almost in your stomach, the dominance of his thrusts bringing you pain and pleasure.

You're close to losing it. You nearly do but then Jungkook halts all his thrusts, pulling out before he puts you onto your back.

He has never seen you so fucked out already. But your eyes are on him, surprised at the sudden change but the lust filled in them is unmistakable. He's glad he left the lights turned on, or else he wouldn't be able to admire what a pretty sight you are.

The same thing goes for you. Jungkook is driven by the lust, his entire face glowing as he traces his tattooed hand over your chest. Taking you by your thighs, he pulls you closer to him – fast and harshly – spreading your legs as he aligns with your opening again.

You both stare at each other, Jungkook dropping his eyes between your bodies for a second before he pushes in. His eyes stay on you, your own fighting to close as the same and most addicting pleasure rushes through your entire body. But you force and keep them open, both of you moaning as he fills you up. The angle is different this time, his cock pressing onto the opposite side of you and you swear if you pressed on your stomach, you would be able to feel him.

However, you don't dare to move. You're too scared to cum again and you're not sure for how long you can go before your body shuts down.

He grips you by the back of your thighs, keeping his hands there as he starts fucking you again. He watches you with dark and lust filled eyes, biting onto his lower lip harshly when you grip the sheets beside you, turning your knuckles white. With each thrust he makes, your breasts bounce, his eyes shifting between them and your own eyes before he averts his gaze to your bodies meeting.

He's watching the way he disappears inside you, his entire cock glistening with your wetness as it drips down your ass and his balls while your clit is swollen and nipples perked up. Holy fuck.

"You like it?" he asks, finding his voice that comes out way raspier than you both expect. "You like feeling my cock like this, huh?"

"Mhm, yes, fuck." you moan, shutting your eyes in pleasure as your mouth stays open.

You're left gasping, no other words leaving your mouth when he pulls out, just to press your thighs together and angling your legs to the left, as they stay pressed against the mattress before he enters you. The change of the new position makes you see stars, your teeth biting into your lower lip harshly as he's rougher this time. He's hovering over you, hands beside your body as your body shakes with pleasure.

It's safe to say you're in a complete another world right now. The amount of pleasure you're experiencing right now – you've never had that before and it feels so fucking good that it has your eyes water. You can't even make out what you're saying, every word coming out as a moan or gasp instead. But you're not loud. You're not screaming your lungs out, informing all the neighbors about your doings even though Jungkook could care less about that.

Instead, the sounds you make are soft and almost innocent like, it makes Jungkook go feral because you're anything but innocent in this moment. You're so fucked out, completely swallowed by the lust and approaching orgasm. You feel like a fucking trophy. Any guy having a woman in their bed acting like this would feel like the king of the world.

He grips the side of your face, your eyes slowly opening as you share a look. You get even tighter, Jungkook's hips halting for a second before he continues the same pace. Hand lowering to your neck, you grip his wrist and prompt him to wrap his hand around it. That's exactly what he did. You can't remember when was the last time he had his hand around your neck, the memories of it are almost faded as he gently applies pressure.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He's careful, you know he is and he never squeezes your neck to the point you would have trouble breathing. Yet his hand feels heavy and it has your eyes rolling back. I'm close, you want to say but fail miserably.

Despite Jungkook's roughness, he's still delicate in other matters because he knows. He's watching you the entire time, listening to your body and your orgasm approaching doesn't go unnoticed by him.

"Cum around my cock, baby." And that's all you need for you to let go, not even five seconds after he says it that your whole body tenses before the knot snaps inside you.

He hisses, feeling you clenching around him uncontrollably as he keeps his pace until he's forced to slow down and eventually stops once he sees you overstimulated. Pulling out, his cock slaps against his stomach, red and angry.

You open your eyes, finding Jungkook watching you as you give him a lazy smile. "I'm in heaven."

A rumble of laughter leaves his mouth, leaving you giggling as well as he brushes a few strands of your hair off your face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fucking great," you hum, catching the cocky and pleased smirk he gives you. "Give me a minute."

He leans on his knees, trying to ignore his cock screaming for attention as your eyes shamelessly stare at it. "You sure?"

"You wanted to ruin me, no?" you joke, Jungkook's lips twitching as he cocks his head to the side.

"Aren't you ruined?"

To be honest, what state you're in is not what he had in mind. There is still more he's got prepared for you, but he wouldn't want to push you past your boundaries. You already look like you're fucked out, but considering you're cracking a grin and talking to him seems like you're doing fine, still high from the mindblowing orgasm.

"'m fine. You can ruin me some more." you grin again lazily, making your legs more comfortable as you stretch them right in front of him. In your defense, it's not about flashing him but not wanting to have a cramp from the position he had you in.

But you still enjoy the way his eyes avert down between your swollen cunt, a cum mixed with your arousal dripping out of your hole. He makes you feel sexy. Especially when he looks up, meeting your gaze as you give him a sheepish smile, not embarrassed by what he sees. Because it's all thanks to him.

"Come here." you tell him, motioning with your finger to come closer as he arches a brow.

He hovers over you, silently watching as you wrap your hand around his neck while the other brushes over his chest. And then you say with the silent and most delicate voice; "Kiss me."

"You want to kiss?" he amusingly asks, pecking your lips even though a peck wasn't what you had in mind and he knows it. Teasing sh–

But he kisses you again, this time his tongue brushing against yours as he fully devours your mouth. "Have to get into the mood." you inform him between the kisses, using the moment for you to catch a breath.

"Mhm, you're no longer in the mood?" he hums against your lips as you giggle.

His hard cock brushes against your entrance and you have to control yourself from whimpering. You're all hot again, definitely not done for tonight but you're still very sensitive.

Jungkook's breath fans over your jaw, teeth nibbling onto your jaw as he says in a low tone. "We can arrange that."

Just when you think he's about to kiss you, he shoots you a smirk as he inches down, eyes still locked with yours. It's until he focuses on the swollen mess between your thighs and gives a gentle kiss to your clit. You gasp, flinching from the sensation as he looks up from between your legs to check your reaction.

"Think you can take it?"

Can you? 

You're not sure what possesses you, you know you're still sensitive down there and need a little bit of time to recover but you nod, spreading your legs even more, inviting him to continue. And god, he does. He has no mercy on you, attaching his mouth onto your cunt as he starts eating you out.

He grabs you by your thighs, mumbling a deep; "Stop running."

Not even a minute later, the complete lust comes back and there's no trace of overstimulation as you grind against his mouth that's been doing wonders. Your hands are uncontrollable, gripping and tugging onto Jungkook's hair as he growls into your center, listening to your pleas.

"I can't. I can't. I need you inside me." you plead between your moans, two orgasms already overcame which can't be said about Jungkook, who has put your pleasure first.

That's not fair, you think. Besides, you want him inside you again.

Jungkook pulls out with his chin completely drenched in your wetness, the sight making you gulp. He wipes it with the back of his hand, smearing some of it onto the sheets as he straightens up, pumping his cock slowly with his eyes set on you.

You rest onto your elbows, lifting yourself while you watch him jerking himself off. You just can't seem to pull your eyes away.

"Are you gonna spread yourself out for me or you just want to watch?" he smirks.

Ignoring his cocky attitude, you can't even react as you gulp down the saliva that gathered in your mouth. You sit up, shifting your eyes to his gaze as you turn around and get back on all fours.

"Fuck," You hear behind you. "You're the death of me."

Proudly smirking, you throw him a pleased and cocky look across your shoulder. "You love staring at my backside that much?" you tease.

Both of you know it's you who loves this position. Both of you do actually, but this time it's you who does it automatically.

One of the rare times you get to tease him and actually feel like you're doing a good job, is when Jungkook shamelessly shows his admiration or whatever it is. He's not ashamed to compliment you or show how much he loves fucking you. But it's this never ending game between you two, one you always lose because Jungkook is one step ahead of you. Whenever you feel like you've won, he does a checkmate.

Just like now.

He slaps your asscheek, chest brushing against your back as he hovers over your ear and says with the lustful voice full of desire. "Shame I can't see your pretty face though."

Your body grows hot at that, cheeks flaming hot at the blunt compliment that makes you clench around nothing. This is the time where you've no idea whether he says this kind of stuff to make you all hot, to fluster you or because he really means it. Whatever he's doing, it's working and you're practically willing to do anything for him at this moment.

You haven't had many sex partners in your life to begin with, but none of them had such a dirty mouth and power to say such things to you. Damn, some time ago you never even knew this was your kind of thing. Jungkook has taught you so much, but most importantly you learned much about yourself thanks to him. Maybe he's not even realizing it but you are.

There's no beating around the bush, no more talking as Jungkook guides his hard cock to your opening and slowly enters you again. He lets out a pleased sigh, followed by a silent moan from you as your walls welcome him again. The sensation feels like the first time all over again. Someone would think you got used to it, this being the second time Jungkook enters you with no protection and barrier between you, but no. You can't get used to it, meaning it feels just as amazing when he entered you like this the first time.

One hand on your hip to hold you in place, he gives your asscheek a rough squeeze as he moves his other hand up and grabs you by the back of your neck. He gives you no warning this time, though maintains his gentle manner when he starts thrusting into you. You writhe beneath him in pleasure, moaning his name and pleas as he picks up the pace and makes your body grow even hotter.

Beads of sweat coats your skin, your mouth open in an absolute pleasure and desire. He keeps holding you down, getting needier and rougher with his thrusts while you can't even think straight. When you thought your eyes were watering before, it's even more intense now as your tears start pricking your eyes. He lets go off your neck, delivering your ass a proper slap and you lift yourself up, gripping the sheets beneath you as tears stream down your cheeks.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." you cry out. You've never heard yourself to be this desperate before. Let alone for a man. Sex does wonders. Jungkook does wonders.

"Fuck, look at me." he says, ushering to meet his gaze as you barely angle your face to look at him.

He leans what seems like toward you but you're mistaken when shortly after, you hear a familiar buzzing and before your fucked out mind can comprehend what he's doing, he's pressing the sex toy against your clit. A new wave and uncontrollable pleasure washes over you, leaving you sobbing loudly while Jungkook curses behind you. His eyes are shut, head leaned back as you get a clear sight of a line of sweat trailing down his neck and chest. He opens those dark lust filled eyes, your eyes meeting again and that's the final end for you.

He has officially ruined you. 

You've never cum harder, your body on fire and trembling as your walls squeeze him repeatedly as you squirt all over yourself. Jungkook audibly curses again, growling when your orgasm dies down and you have barely any strength to hold yourself up. It all happens quickly as he pulls out of you, gets you on your back as you stare at him through teary and exhausted eyes. He jerks off quickly, throwing his head back and cums with the deepest moan, spilling all over your stomach and chest.

Both of you sweaty and chests heaving rapidly, Jungkook hangs his head low as he looks at you through his fringe falling onto his eyes, some of the strands sticking to his forehead and face.

It's hard to describe exactly what you're feeling. Your heartbeat is in your ears, your chest hurts from how you're trying to catch a breath and amongst this all, you feel like you're ten seconds from passing out.

Even through his harsh breathing and his own need to calm down, he gets closer to you and cups your face. "Are you with me, baby?"

Baby? What's he thinking? He has already ruined you, there's no need for more.

You give him a brief nod, your eyes closing.

"Shit."

Why does he sound so alarmed? 

"Look at me baby."

You do. You're aware of what he's saying, you're not literally passing out but your body needs a minute or two to recover. You just can't seem to properly react.

You're met with concerned eyes as Jungkook squeezes your cheeks to get a proper look at you. You lick your lips, letting out a tired and amused chuckle. "Thought you killed me? You're not gonna get rid of me so easily." you say completely exhausted, sounding like you could be high or wasted.

He only stares, a beat of silence before his whole face and body relaxes as he lets out a sigh and chuckle of relief. Still, he lets his eyes linger all over your face as he watches you. You crack a smile, wiping your forehead with the back of your head as he brushes your hair off your sweaty forehead.

"You squirted all over me." he teases lightly.

"You came all over my stomach. We're even." you joke, getting a warmed sound laugh from him.

"You cried." he comments, wiping your cheeks. "It was hot."

"You ruined me." you comment back with a tired chuckle.

"You wanted to get ruined."

"Hm, I did." you hum.

He cracks a smile. "I'll bring you water, alright? I'll be right back and wipe the mess off you."

"Mhm." You close your eyes again, feeling like you can breathe again as Jungkook rushes out of the room to get you the water.

He comes back not even a minute after with a glass and a towel, ushering to sit down and drink the whole glass. You do as he watches you every second, barely blinking. Rolling your eyes, he does the same before he starts wiping his cum from your stomach and chest. He moves to between your thighs shortly after, cursing under his breath when he sees how swollen you are. You start wincing as soon as he starts.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he apologizes quickly, wincing as if it hurt him too when the overstimulation is too uncomfortable.

He goes away to toss the towel to the laundry basket and comes back shortly after wearing shorts, finding you sitting on the edge of his bed. It makes him laugh at how innocent you look, despite you're still completely naked.

"I'm going to shower." you announce before he gives you a dubious look.

"Will you manage by yourself?"

"Yeah." you tell him, standing up too abruptly which makes you stumble.

He quickly moves to catch you, biting back a laugh when you're about to take a step and wince. You shoot him a glare, silently telling him it's his fault. The soreness you currently feel between your legs is making it hard to walk. You're so sore already, wondering how the hell you're going to walk and function properly tomorrow.

Jungkook lets you go, leaving you to wash yourself as you embarrassingly limp to the bathroom. When you're in the shower, palms against the warm and wet tiles, you replay everything that has happened. You can't believe you and Jungkook did this. You bite your lips to prevent yourself from squealing, washing away all the sweat and body fluids off your body.

In the midst of it, Jungkook knocks on the door and brings you clothes, leaving after he checks on you.

After Jungkook's turn to wash himself, he joins you in the bed where you're dozing off. "So, what are you sayin'? Did you like it?"

"Honestly?" you ask, nibbling on your bottom lip as Jungkook hums. You chuckle at yourself as you admit; "It's gonna be hard to use condoms again."

Why the hell did you just say that? You mentally scold yourself. Now you sound like you don't want protected sex. Perhaps you're overreacting because Jungkook never sounds like you assume things will be different. You both know it's responsible for you to use them again. It was never spoken but it's clear this was one time thing.

"And how are you feeling?"

"So fucking sore," you complain, whining. "I won't be able to move in tomorrow! This has been your plan all along, right? Admit it." you joke, making him laugh.

"You got me."

You both laugh, tiredly and lazily until your laugh dies down. "Kook?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think, um... how to say it?"

"Just say it."

Argh! This thought crossed your mind while you were showering. You feel content. You're not exactly paranoid and surprisingly, you're not freaking out over having sex without condom. You're happy and you wouldn't change your decision. You regret nothing.

Fumbling with your fingers on top of the freshly changed sheets, you bite the inside of your cheek.

"Do you think maybe I should buy a morning after pill? Just in case..."

Jungkook stays silent but gives his answer seconds after. "If it makes you feel better," he says lightly.

You're on birth control, you haven't missed your pills and you have no knowledge if you can still take a morning after pill. Groaning, you reach for your phone and start doing your research in the middle of the night.

"Okay. It says here there's no need since I'm on the pill." you inform, not even sure if Jungkook is awake before he hums tiredly in return. You roll your eyes at him. "Yah!" you whisper harshly.

"Relax. I didn't even cum inside you."

"Okay but there's always a chance!" you exclaim as Jungkook sighs.

"That would have to be a fucking luck, that's all I'm saying." he mutters into his pillow, turning with his back to you. Men.

He had luck in that department, you think. He was surely having sex with her more often, unprotected for sure and you're also sure he finished inside her most of the time. Argh, why the fuck are you thinking about this and their sex life?

Groaning at yourself, you lock your phone and place it back onto the nightstand. It's better to finally surrender to exhaustion, hoping you'll at least get a good sleep despite the throb and soreness between your legs. Everything's going to be just fine.

"Oh shit! This place is actually nice!"

Looking at Taehyung in a silent offense, you snort at his huge grin as he looks around your new place. Boxes are everywhere and most of your things don't have their own place, but it looks pretty good either way – especially if Taehyung says it with an impressed look while Jimin joins him.

"I know, right? Come on guys, I will show you around."

"Where's Jungkook?" Jimin asks as Taehyung snaps his head in his direction.

"In the bedroom, assembling my bed again." you laugh, feeling actually bad for him to do that again since it's not that long when he did it at his own place.

Taehyung laughs, though it sounds forced which makes you narrow your eyes at him as you silently question him. "Why are you so awkward?"

"Come on, let's go." Jimin says, placing his hand on your back as he leads you further down the apartment.

You glance confusingly at them before shaking your head. What's wrong with them? They meet Jungkook after you give them a quick tour and shortly after, they help you unpack some of your stuff. Taehyung and Jimin stay in the living room while you keep hopping between them and Jungkook who is soon done with your bed. You order three pizzas for all of you, a nice gesture as a 'thank you' that they decided to help you because you couldn't do it without them. They're a huge help.

Although, Jimin is surprisingly quiet and when you went to check on them earlier, you found him and Taehyung bickering. If that's what it was but they quickly went silent once they spotted you.

You're not sure if Jungkook has noticed it but he hasn't said anything so far, quietly munching on the pizza with pouty lips and big eyes. You steal glances at Jimin who barely says anything and Taehyung is surprisingly quiet too, even though he tries to break the silence with awkward small talk or jokes which aren't like him.

"What's with you?" you ask, interrupting Taehyung in the midst of his 'casual joking' as he shuts his mouth and puts it into a straight line before he sighs.

The empty boxes of pizzas are gone, ready to be thrown out once there will be more boxes to take outside. You bought beer for all of you as well, wanting to have a mini-party with them at your new place.

Jimin's eyes don't look too different and his face doesn't say much which makes you question his unusual behavior. You're clearly missing out something and even Jungkook studies Jimin with scrunched brows.

"You're being suspiciously quiet today." you voice out your thoughts, seeing Jimin giving you a look – one that confirms your assumptions.

"You guys are quiet today too." he points out and you make a weird face because he doesn't make any sense.

"We've been literally talking almost every minute." you chuckle, giving him a weird look.

"Yet you never mentioned you guys are hooking up again." he bluntly calls you and Jungkook out, noticing the edge in his voice as you feel your stomach drop. For a second, you're assured you've heard him wrong and you must be hallucinating.

You awkwardly choke on your spit, glancing at Jungkook who's simply staring at Jimin but you see surprise in his eyes too, though his reaction is more subtle and controlled which can't be said about you. Jimin leans against the couch, lifting a brow at the both of you as you look at Taehyung whose face is burning with guilt. And you don't need any more answers because you give Taehyung an unimpressed look.

"It happened! I'm sorry guys!" he quickly exclaims, shooting his arms all over the place. "I got drunk and somehow–"

"Somehow you managed to tell him about this." you deadpan and Jimin sighs next to Taehyung.

"Don't get angry at him," Jimin says calmly, "Why didn't you guys tell me?"

You press your lips together, feeling bad for not telling him sooner but in fact, there weren't many opportunities. You didn't want to tell him such a private matter like "Oh, and by the way me and Jungkook are hooking up" – not that he has to know in the first place. But being friends with them for years now, you learned that you guys tell each other many things.

"We wanted to." Jungkook butts in, saving you from having to explain yourself through guilt. He sounds casual – not making it a big deal and you appreciate that. Jungkook has always been better at these things. You let your emotions get the best of you.

"And to be fair, Taehyung only knows by an accident." he adds, pointing out some important facts as Taehyung snorts.

"Yeah, found them in the kitchen with Jungkook's hands all over Y/N's ass." he snorts again and you shoot him a glare while Jimin scrunches his nose.

"I waited the whole day for you guys to tell me," Jimin says, "It's not like I'm mad at you for not telling me. But do you guys think it's a good idea?"

"Huh?" you blurt out as Jimin scowls.

"You are seriously hooking up?"

"Isn't that what we are talking about?" Jungkook mutters while Jimin shoots him a glare.

"You guys are gonna ruin your friendship." Jimin informs. Your mouth hangs open while Jungkook scoffs at Jimin's sharp words while Taehyung gives Jimin an offended look as if those words were aimed at him.

"Jimin–"

"No, they need to hear this. You've been best friends for years, the thing you did before was fucking stupid but this? You're choosing to just sleep with each other? You're seriously willing to risk your friendship for sex?"

Jimin words are sharp but they hold a truth to them as well. It's everything you're afraid of too but you convinced yourself this is just a period of time where you have fun. You and Jungkook made sure it's pretty chill and casual. And just like with your friendship, not many people fully understand you.

Jimin isn't particularly rude or sounds angry, he's just blunt and serious which is enough of a shock to you. He's always been soft spoken, even if honest, and you know he means well. Despite his words, his eyes remain somehow gentle even if there's a pinch of seriousness.

And you're left with no words leaving your mouth, taken aback, wishing that you could react somehow. But right now, it feels like a slap to your face from Jimin.

"I don't see how it's any of your business, Jimin-ah." Jungkook says, stealing a glance at your distraught face.

"Of course it's not. But you two are being reckless, so I'm just reminding you."

"So they fuck, and what?" Taehyung deadpans, "Let them have their fun."

"Taehyung-ah, excuse me but the only thing you know about relationships is fun. That is if that even can be considered as something related to a relationship."

"Yah, fuck you!" Taehyung exclaims and you would snicker at that under different circumstances for sure. "You suddenly got a girlfriend and you think you're a master of relationships? Just let them be. It's their decision and stop scaring them."

"I'm not scaring them," Jimin shakes his head with a chuckle before he looks up at you, his features softening as his eyes keep jumping between you and Jungkook. "Guys, I just think you need to hear this. And to be honest, I'm shocked to know you've been doing this for god knows how long. I thought you're smarter than that but you're fucking risking and that's the end of it."

"We have it under control." Jungkook informs him.

"Yeah, don't let those words bite you in the ass later." Jimin reminds him with a whistle which makes Jungkook frown and you stare at the two of them.

"Can we stop?" you speak up, slapping your knees in the process as you gain their attention.

"Y/N," Jimin says softly, inching closer to you as you stare at him with big and sad eyes. "You guys are totally entitled to do whatever you want. I just don't want you guys to ruin your friendship with this. I've thought your friendship is precious and special, not this special."

Your cheeks heat up. "And it is special." you whisper.

It's clear that Jimin doesn't approve any of this and you're aware that he is right. There are many risks you took – both of you – but in the end, you want to do this and you don't want to overthink it.

"You and Jungkook know the best, so I'm not gonna butt into this any more than I already have. I just want you guys to be reasonable and smart."

"Well, thank you for your input but we got it." Jungkook clasps his hands together and you crack a grin as the atmosphere loosens up a little.

"Yeah, they got it. Let them fuck." Taehyung shrugs and all of you burst into laughter.

"Can we not talk about this? Or make a big deal out of it? Me and Jungkook are fine, still best friends, right?" you say, looking at Jungkook who leans back and nods in your direction.

"Yeah, besties for life." He sends everyone a 'peace' sign as Jimin laughs while shaking his head.

"Right," Jimin nods, "Just don't hurt each other, okay?"

"I would never." Jungkook says immediately and you can only agree.

Jimin opens his mouth as if he's about to say something but then he closes it, changing his mind at the last minute. "Alright, you guys know what you're doing." he ends the topic with a simple sentence and all of you leave it at that.

"Okay, those two fuck each other, shocking. But we still haven't met your girlfriend. What is even her name? Does she exist?" Taehyung cocks his brow at Jimin who suddenly turns a little shy, grinning as he licks his bottom lip.

"She exists," he laughs, "Her name is Rin." he answers casually.

"Wait? Where is she from?"

"Japan."

"Oh my fucking god!" Taehyung rolls his eyes. "Let's pray she is nothing like Kiko then."

Your hand is over your mouth immediately while Jungkook frowns at him and Jimin looks offended.

"How did you meet her anyway?" But Taehyung remains unbothered as always, waving his hand as Jimin clears his throat.

"In a club?" Jimin asks as if it's not obvious. "We weren't spending our free time on other places too much." He reminds him as Taehyung utters 'True'.

"Wait," Taehyung suddenly stops. "Is she the girl you fucked a few months ago? The cute Japanese?"

Jimin's face reddens and all of you get an answer as Jungkook smirks, trying to hide it by tracing his fingers over his lips.

"Taehyung-ah."

"Look at you, getting all shy. I think I'm gonna be sick."

All of you burst into laughter, well excluding Jimin who pokes his elbow into Taehyung's side.

"Well, I think it's cute." you butt in, trying to save Jimin in this situation but all you get is a snicker from Taehyung in return.

"What's cute about it? He fucked the girl once and now he's dating her."

"Hey! You find love in all places."

"Yeah, yeah," he waves you off. "I heard Japanese females are loud and whiny in bed. Is that true?" he asks straight-forwardly and shamelessly stares at Jimin and Jungkook.

"Haven't you fucked a Japanese woman?" Jungkook asks instead, arching his brow as Taehyung rubs his chin in a deep thought.

"Yeah, I might've. The one or two I fucked were, so that's why I'm asking. Are all of them like that?"

The man has no shame.

"Taehyung." you mutter his name, scrunching your nose at the topic as he defensively looks at you.

"What? Are you whiny and loud too?"

You gasp, slapping his shoulder before Jungkook speaks up; "She can be."

It's the fact he says it with the utmost confidence and pride, your entire face feeling like it's on fire as you scold him loudly.

"Ew, I really don't want to hear about my two friends fucking. Thanks." Jimin mutters in disgust as Taehyung grins.

"You all are getting too soft." Taehyung comments, still with a grin as you roll your eyes.

"And you're getting too annoying, nosy–"

"Alright I get it, I get it." Taehyung shuts you up with his palm over your mouth. You lick his skin, expecting him to pull away but it's like he awaited you to do it because he doesn't pull away.

He grins instead and says; "Mhmm, more." He fakes a moan before he starts laughing like a maniac when you start slapping his arm, his hand eventually letting go off your mouth.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Taehyung suddenly jumps to his feet, giving you a curled smirk before he walks to his bag. "I brought you, uh, think of this as a housewarming gift."

"I didn't know we were bringing anything." Jimin mutters, pouting a little as he sheepishly scratches the back of his head while Jungkook frowns as well.

"You guys don't have to–what the fuck?!" you exclaim, your mouth hanging open as Taehyung turns around with a pair of pink and fluffy handcuffs, twirling them on his index finger.

It's an understatement that all of you stare at him as he comes up to you with a smirk and tosses the handcuffs into your lap as you stare at the object as if you have never seen it before. You never held one in your hands, that's for sure.

"Don't worry, they're new. Not used." Taehyung assures you, plopping on his previous spot as you glance at Jungkook who stares with big eyes at the handcuffs, just as surprised as all of you, before he relaxes and leans back into the chair.

"Wow, thank you for your thoughtfulness." you mutter dryly as Taehyung snorts.

You tuck your index over the opening, letting the handcuffs hang in the air as you inspect it. Tilting your brow at Taehyung, you give him a questioning look as he grins and shrugs.

"Just wanted to give you something fun."

"Yeah, and what's more fun than a pair of handcuffs?" you beam sarcastically as Taehyung grins even more.

"Right? A proper Taehyung gift!"

"I've got no words." Jimin mutters while you place the handcuffs next to you as Jungkook suddenly reaches for them.

Staring with an open mouth, you watch him twirl it in his hands as he shoots you a grin. "Thanks Taehyung, they'll come handy."

You ignore how much your body buzzes with a newfound excitement, rather focusing on the noise Jimin makes. A noise of disgust and annoyance as his whole face scrunches in one.

Deciding it's better to redirect the attention to somewhere else, you stand up and usher them to help you with the remaining boxes as they grunt but obey. That's why they're here after all. To help you.

Jimin and Taehyung start bickering, Jimin scolding him for even thinking of buying you such a thing and considering you know what he thinks of your arrangement with Jungkook, he surely voiced his opinion about it to Taehyung too.

Jungkook is the only one who's still sitting on his previous spot, now that the guys went to your bedroom it leaves you two alone. You catch the handcuffs from Jungkook's hands, trying not to melt at how lustful he looks with his legs spread and lap looking inviting.

"I will take this." you tell him, sounding tempted and teasing as Jungkook watches you with the biggest smirk on his lips.

"Be my guest."

You hear behind you as Jungkook follows you in your tracks and you give yourself a few deep breaths before you have to face your friends, and most importantly Jungkook, again.

Your friends leave late at night, apart from Jungkook who kindly decides to help you organize your small kitchen. Of course, Taehyung couldn't help but tease you on his way out, not forgetting to yell "Have fun" as Jimin cringed and tugged him out of your place. He didn't forget to imply Jungkook is staying at your place tonight either.

Despite your friend's teasing, he's still planning to go back home.

"You know, don't listen to Taehyung. You can still stay the night, it's late anyway." you speak not even a minute after they're gone, putting the cutlery to its designed storage box in your top cupboard.

It's not that big of a problem for him to get home. His car is parked in front of your building and the drive to his home is not even that long. On another note, you've been organizing and moving furniture all day until you decide to have a little hang-outs in between, which mostly consisted of you pouring the guys drinks and eating some snacks. It's a simple idea, one you're not against and from the looks of it, Jungkook is not either.

He still decided to stay a bit longer, helping you with your kitchen so you can start using it tomorrow morning with no problem. "I thought you wanted to get rid of me."

The teasing tone of his voice makes you crack a tired chuckle, giving him a short glance before you get back to your task.

"It's impossible to get rid of you, Jeon Jungkook." you joke, "I kinda like having you in my life though."

"Is that so?" he hums, cocking his brow teasingly.

"Mhm." you laugh, shutting the cupboard as you move onto the next one below where the rest of the kitchen tools will be.

He finishes placing plates in one of the cupboards, moving onto mugs and glasses where you assigned their place.

"Listen," he starts, clearing his throat. "About what Jimin said... are you okay?"

Besides moving into your new place being the top event of today, Jimin finding out and then giving you a lecture was big enough of an event itself. It's not something that is easily forgotten and even after that conversation was over, it still lingered at the back of your mind as you mildly felt embarrassed. You've never had that. You never felt embarrassed to do your own thing with Jungkook, no matter what anyone else would say.

Taehyung is the most supportive friend when it comes to this. Perhaps it has something to do with his own choice of lifestyle, but it doesn't matter. He still gets it. Sure, Jimin never intended to make you feel embarrassed and he's pretty much clueless about your inner feelings his words brought in you. His words still made more damage than you want to admit.

Glancing at Jungkook, you find his concerned eyes on you, the same ones you were staring at yesterday when you had a memorable moment together.

"It's just... he was a little harsh with his words and I wanted to check on you."

You know what he means. It's exactly what you were thinking about just a moment ago. Jimin is a reasonable friend. Incredibly caring too. Whereas Taehyung is up for any fun and loves freedom, supports freedom. Both of them are right in their own ways, you don't deny that.

"That was expected of him," you give him a forced chuckle, one that Jungkook easily detects and makes his brows furrow. But it's not something to worry about and you make sure to let him know. "I get what his point was."

"Yeah, I think we all gathered that." Jungkook mutters, making you snort.

"But what about you? Are you okay?"

"I can handle Jimin anytime." he answers, grinning while he makes you laugh.

Jungkook handles most things better than you. He's far more collected and doesn't let too much stuff get to him. Even though Jimin rooted some sort of doubts inside your head, you and Jungkook know the best how things truly are between you.

"Are you staying the night?" you ask, changing the topic after coming to the conclusion that you have no interest in overthinking this any longer.

Jungkook brings you peace and the trust between you is stronger than anything else.

"Do you want me to?" he teases.

Groaning, you throw your head back. "You really want me to say it, huh?"

"Hm, maybe."

Rolling your eyes at him, you purse your lips. "You're free to stay here. It's late anyway."

Jungkook lips twitch in amusement, though he doesn't comment on you purposely not saying it. "Fine. But I gotta wake up early."

"Early for what?"

"Gym."

"Oh my god. For real?" He really wants to wake up early for a gym?

He doesn't look offended by your lack of excitement for his healthy and active life-style at all. Rather than that, he finds it funny.

"Yeah. And then I've got one afternoon photoshoot to do."

"Okay, then we should go to bed. I can finish this tomorrow." you tell him, shutting the cupboards. He doesn't protest, both of you simultaneously letting out a yawn which makes you both laugh again.

It's been a long day and after taking a shower with Jungkook joining you in your bed shortly after, you fall asleep in a matter of seconds. You don't tell him but you're truly thankful for not only his help but his presence too. Whatever the reason behind him staying is, you're glad you're not your first night here alone and you have him by your side. Even when he's not there when you wake up, leaving you a note beside your bed.

"Gonna miss you roomie. Enjoy your new place and see you soon. – Kook"

The next time you see your friends is a few days after you've moved into your new place. The constant back and forth between trying to plan the camping trip in the group chat has caused you enough headaches throughout the week. It's not only up to you, Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung, but also their other friends that are coming too. No one expected for this to be easy but finding the right date, so everyone could go, has been the toughest task of the week.

Luckily, in the end everyone agreed on a date which happens to be the next weekend. You've had enough time to make your place fully liveable, decorated it to your wishes while your bank account is close to being empty. That's if you don't count the small savings you managed to not touch for your friend's vacation that is yet to be discussed. You're already scared.

The four of you are about to discuss further details that don't involve the rest of the group as much. It would be logical of you to go all together in one car – and that's how you thought it would be.

"Namjoon and Hoseok are bringing tents. And there's gonna be two rented caravans for some to sleep in. So I agree with Y/N, we should all go in one car. It saves money." Jimin says after your logical suggestion, which you didn't even think is up to debate because it just makes sense.

"Makes sense. Honestly, I don't care as long as I don't have to drive." Taehyung says, already munching on the chips which Jungkook has tossed him a second ago, because the guy was too lazy to get it for himself at his own place.

You've decided to meet up at Taehyung's place since it was the closest. All of you have to go to work tomorrow, so there's no time to hang out like you usually do. You only met up to figure out the entire trip, so you don't panic right before you have to leave. Plus, Taehyung is terrible at replying to messages and so is Jimin sometimes.

"About that," Jungkook starts, scratching the back of his head as he earns everyone's attention. "I sort of invited Ester too."

He did what? 

The silence that follows seems like it lasts cruelly long, but it's only you because even though the guys seem surprised by the news, they show no problem with that. Though that can't be said about you because you're staring dumbfoundedly at Jungkook, wondering if you heard him right.

"Great!"

"Why did you do that?"

You and Jimin say at the same time, Taehyung slowly putting more chips into his mouth as he stares at the three of you. Jungkook frowns confusingly, shrugging his shoulders as if not understanding why are you questioning him which makes your annoyance bubble even more.

"It sort of came out."

Sort of... You can't with this guy. The little scoff you let out is enough to give him away your thoughts.

"Isn't that so random though? It's a friend's trip. No one knows her besides you."

Not that you have anything against Ester. She's a nice girl and she never gave you a reason not to like her, but Jungkook's random invitation to a trip full of friends is just totally out of the blue and doesn't make sense. Even guys seemed surprised by it, but they decided not to comment on it.

"Then they'll get to know her."

It's Jungkook's bluntness and the look he's giving you that pisses you off and you have to hold yourself from springing off the couch.

"I don't see any problem–"

You don't let Jimin finish, completely ignoring him. "You've known her for five minutes."

That makes Jungkook's brow lift up. "And?"

"Why would you invite someone on this trip?" you exclaim, trying to grasp the meaning of this.

The last camping trip was your first one with all of them. And you've been friends with him, Jimin and Taehyung for years. Obviously, you were familiar with Hoseok and Jin but still, you knew each other before you were invited. The exact thing happened on New Year's Eve.

It might not be a big deal of him inviting her, but it doesn't make sense considering it's last minute and you're leaving in a few days. The amount of tents and caravans are already taken care of.

"I invited you."

That makes you gasp, "I'm your best friend!"

"Guys–" Jimin tries again but Jungkook shrugs again.

"She's my friend too."

Okay, that makes your blood boil. Is he really comparing you and Ester? You've no idea how this even escalated to this but you can't seem to calm down, even as Jimin tries to butt in while Taehyung tries to hide an amused grin.

"Where is she going to sleep anyway?" Taehyung speaks up, earning a "Thank you Taehyung" glance but of course the idiot has to ruin it. "I mean, she could share the tent with me." he adds cheekily which makes Jungkook scoff while you scrunch your nose in disgust.

"I will sort that out. I can always ask Namjoon if he has another tent, I'm sure he mentioned he has more than two or he can ask someone. You girls can share the tent."

You haven't really spoken about who shares a tent with who, but you kind of expected it to be like last time. Maya is also coming so she's going to share the tent with Namjoon, obviously. Then there's Jin who is going without Jia since she's pregnant and doesn't want to join this time, so he would share either the tent or caravan with Hoseok. Jimin and Taehyung shared the tent together and so did you and Jungkook.

Not to get things mixed up, you don't really care who you're sharing the sleeping space with. But the fact he's expecting you to share it with Ester because he decided to invite her all of a sudden just calls for a conflict. It's the audacity he's showing that makes you open your mouth in pure disbelief as you stare at Jungkook with a proper what the fuck written on yur face.

Also, not even Jimin decided to invite his girlfriend. His freaking girlfriend that would make a bigger sense to come since she's actually close to someone out of all people.

He sighs, "It came up. She wanted to make plans with me on that very weekend, we talked about it and it just came up."

"So you felt bad for her, so you invited her?" you question, arching your brow as Jungkook frowns.

"No," he says with the same frown, emphasizing the word. "Jimin wanted me to invite her somewhere a long time ago. Guys seem to be okay with it and the only person who seems to have a problem with it is you."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh shit." Taehyung mutters, straightening himself.

This whole situation is giving you a major whiplash. You and Jungkook barely argue, that can be seen even on Jimin's and Taehyung's faces as they look genuinely shocked by the exchange between you and Jungkook. You were fine.

You were texting and even Face-Timing a few times since you haven't had the chance to see him in person since you moved in. You were literally joking just minutes ago. And you know you are the one who has voiced your confusion, but you're not going to keep your mouth shut when you're genuinely baffled over this news.

"I don't see any problem here, seriously."

It's the tone he uses that makes you too stunned to speak. He's looking at you as if you were the enemy here and that kind of stings. He's here talking to you like this, looking at you like this for a girl he barely knows and that's when you know what triggers your anger and annoyance even more. You can barely remember times where Jungkook would be strict with you. The past few months have been the greatest months in your friendship, and you're not talking about the sex. You joked, teased each other, laughed... but now it's like you don't recognize you and him.

It's not that serious, just a change of opinions. But at this moment, you can't just keep your mouth shut and move on.

You're jealous. Jealous that he's here ready to argue with you over a girl who's apparently his friend. He makes you feel like you're the idiot here and you don't know, maybe you are but you don't like how he's acting.

"It's last minute, Kook..." Jimin starts, giving you a side-glance. He's looking at you as if you're about to jump and attack Jungkook. "But I'm sure it can be arranged. Girls can share the tent, sorry Tae but I'm not sure Ester would be happy to share it with you. We don't want to traumatize her."

He tries to joke, laughing awkwardly while still giving you the side-glance while your frown turns only deeper. Even Taehyung laughs and tries to fake disappointment from Jimin's words.

"I'm not sharing a tent with her." you stubbornly scoff, Jungkook glaring the hell out of you and you're ten seconds from showing him your middle finger.

"You're being difficult. I don't know what's your problem with her, but she's a nice girl. You met her."

"Share the tent with her then. Since she's your friend." You know you're being childish, you even sound like it and you ignore everyone's eyes on you which makes you uncomfortable.

"I don't know if that's appropriate. Her sharing it with a girl is more appropriate."

You know he's got a point. But still, stubborn as you are, you fold your arms over your chest and give him a sweet smile. "Should've thought about it before you invited her."

"Okaaaay, guys. There's no need to–"

"You're so selfish right now." Jungkook comments and you gasp.

"Kook, seriously." Taehyung mutters but you see red.

"I'm selfish? You invite your friend and I'm selfish because I don't want to share the tent with her? Since when is she my problem? You invited her, you deal with it, Jeon." You're raising your voice, though Jungkook doesn't look phased one bit as he scoffs and looks away, clenching his jaw.

"Fine. I will buy her a fucking tent if that's what it takes." Don't forget to fuck her in it. Wait, where did that come from?

"I thought it's a friend's trip too. I mean, I don't really mind if someone invites a plus one. I get both sides." Taehyung tries to reason.

Jungkook lets out a sigh. "I wasn't planning on inviting her but it happened. I don't see any big deal in this."

Oh my god, you're done.

"Okay, then I'm inviting Yoongi." you say with an attitude, Jungkook's head snapping to yours including Taehyung and Jimin.

You do regret saying it as soon as it leaves your mouth. Why Yoongi out of all people? What did you think? But you don't back away. There's no way you will embarrass yourself even more than you already have.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're being childish." Jungkook scoffs. Yes, you're petty and what?

"What? I thought we are allowed to invite friends."

"He is not even your friend."

"How would you know?" you bite back.

"Oh come on!"

"Alright, calm down you two." Jimin frowns, looking genuinely concerned despite his frown.

"No, I'm starting to like this." Taehyung says with a smirk, looking excited to witness this as you frown at him.

You stand up, straightening your pants as you give a look to all your friends. "Yoongi is coming too."

"You don't even like him. Seriously, this is ridiculous." Jungkook can't help but speak up again.

You don't argue with him on that. Sure, Yoongi gets on your nerves most of the time but you don't not like him.

"Just invite who you want and be done with this." Jimin sighs, rubbing his forehead.

"No, she just did that on purpose!" Jungkook exclaims, causing you to scoff.

"Mind your business, Jeon and better go figure out where your friend is sleeping." you remark.

Deep down you do feel bad because of Ester. She has done nothing wrong to you or to anyone you know. You don't want her to think you don't like her and you do hope whatever happened here won't reach her. God, you really hope Jungkook won't snitch on you. He wouldn't, right? 

"Wait, where are you going? How are we gonna sort out the cars then?" Taehyung calls out to you when you're on your way out.

You linger between the entrance of the living room and entrance hall, shrugging.

"We're gonna have to go with two cars anyway. So much for saving." he adds, grumbling.

"I don't know, I'll just go with Yoongi. Let me know how you arranged it. I'm going, I'm tired."

Taehyung's place starts to feel suffocating and you rush to put your shoes on, bidding them a sore goodbye as you get into your car.

You're a fucking idiot. You smack your head against the headrest, closing your eyes as you rub your forehead furiously instead, not wanting to smudge your make-up.

Great. You cannot show without Yoongi. You argued with Jungkook and let the most stupid idea come out of your mouth because of... because of what exactly? Annoyance? Anger? Jealousy?

All of the above most likely.

But the aftermath of your argument in front of Jimin and Taehyung is not the only thing that causes you another headache.

The thing is...

How the fuck will you convince him to go?

[purplesoulcollection]

Unnatural Love

Part 11 Synopsis : Name has being transmigrated into the world of I'm Not That Kind Of Talent without ever reading the novel. She's not being reincarnated as a human but as a devil as well. Hi There! I want to let you know that this fanfiction story isn't solely my creation. I borrowed the concept from @quqiwo2. I haven't actually read the novel either, just some spoiler to the end.

I hope you'll excuse my spelling and grammar mistake, because English not my first language.

When I arrived both Deon and Cruel had already been attacked.

Before I had the chance to joined them and become a sudden weight without any plan, the screen popped up out of nowhere.

What?! Does this mean I have to hold on until the typical tragic moment unfolds? Or is it to enhance the surprise's impact?

“But when? I don't have any attack skills?” I finally realize that i need the strategy before jumped in.

I only possess a handful of skills at the moment, but I believe I can make my way out of here while carry these two brothers.

When I looked at the order, it looked like Cruel would be stabbed in the heart.

Shield!!!

Finally his sword was brushed aside. No time to be relieved

"You guys okay?"

This screen feels quite sinister. If I let the moment slip by, there's no way to stop the disaster that follows.

"Adele!!"

"The explanation will come later. Now let's run away first!"

I noticed the skill that can only be used a single time. Still, I realize how awesome it is to have that skill, even if it's just for one occasion.

I hit yes and swiftly lead both Cruel and Deon out of this place. The skill effect truly makes me feel overpowered; I dash like those anime characters who zoom past, leaving the rest of the group in the dust with no hope of catching up.

Because of that ability, Cruel, Deon, and I were able to evade the assassins. I successfully led them both out of harm's way.

Where did I take them? Does anyone have any idea?

Yes, it is true.

Deon's home is filled with influential individuals. Lofty's soldiers are just hanging around there. Their eyes wide open, don't believe their eyes when I brought both brothers alone, so I quickly instructed them to stay put and be ready before heading to the house.

The times is up when i toss them both to the sofa while I'm lying on the floor, regardless of manners or dirty floors.

I feel drained and a bit grimy as I lie on the floor with no energy left.

I'm completely out of breath and utterly exhausted now that the activity has come to a halt. My heart was racing, pumping blood quickly and intensely, and I can feel aches in every part of my body, particularly in my legs and hands, which really pushed beyond their limits, after carrying two adult men whom both in the shock from the wild ride they just experienced, and they haven't responded yet.

I'm tired, even though I have the help of skills, it feels like I have exceeded the limits of my abilities. Super strength is a really cool skill. It's a shame to have a skill that can only be used a single time.

We're in the silence before someone spoke up.

"Older brother... "

"Why, why are you protecting me...?"

Ding!

Then Deon fainted after the screen appear, make both Deon and I check him right away.

"Deon!"

"Deon!"

When I saw Deon had fainted, I was taken aback for a moment before I managed to collect myself. I leaned in to check for his breath near his nose and felt for a heartbeat, hoping he was just unconscious.

"I think he fainted due to excessive emotions."

"Who are you?" said Cruel began to take notice of me and started asking questions.

I felt really uneasy being questioned by someone I didn't know, especially since I sensed they might harm me if I said the wrong thing. But he's still Deon's brother.

"Fiancée... " I said with the low voice.

"He doesn't have a fiancée." He claimed like he know him better than anyone else, and that was true.

If I feel that way, then there's really no point in deceiving him. "I'm his girlfriend from the demon world."

Cruel looked stunned, looking at my face, looking for any indication of my deception reflected in my body language, before finally laughing out loud.

I was amazed to see someone who had just released a menacing vibe suddenly shift their behavior so quickly.

"My brother's taste is strange too." He spoke that with a downcast expression and gloomy face.

It seems he has finally revealed his darker side, possibly reflecting on his near-death experience. Perhaps he's considering leaving Deon to navigate this world on his own, having made a sacrifice for the greater good which is literary not.

"Cruel please, I urge you to speak with Deon as soon as he wakes up. He feels that you and your parents dislike him and even want to harm him"

"I accept the grudge."

And his irresponsible words made me scream at him.

"Just do as I say!"

"This is the only chance you can make peace with Deon and make him happy."

"I tried so hard to save you two so that you can make peace, stupid brother!"

"Do you really hate him? Your brother? If so, why did you save him from that killer?"

I directed my anger at him, but he responded only with silence. His brow furrowed deeply, his hands were tightly clenched, and he bit his lips as if trying to suppress his emotions.

"I want to hate him... But I can't." His voice is soft, like he has no power to hate Deon who kill their parents.

Why is he even saying this to me, the one who should hear this isn't me!

"So, just confide in him. I think there is a misunderstanding between you." I still tried to persuade him but it's clearly that he didn't want to hear me at all.

"War is the cause!" he exploded in my face. There is no hope for me to talk to him again.

"I will take Deon to his room. I ask for your coordination, Cruel Hart."

I left Cruel by himself and escorted Deon back to his room. He sleeps deliriously. I couldn't help but think, is it a pleasant dream or a troubling one for him?

The screen says that he will cure Deon's split personality. Will this end well? The screen doesn't even ask my opinion whether I want to cure it or not, why?

While Deon was unconscious, I ordered Remember to tighten the security at this house. I don't said who's gonna in charge of the guarding.

In the end it left Lofty troops to guarding. Everyone already knows their reputation, so nobody dare to mess with us.

But there are definitely Lofty members who visit Deon who still unconscious for a few days.

Deon's health is a constant concern for them, especially since he's unconscious without any visible injuries or bruises. It's puzzling for them to think of their strong captain in such a vulnerable state.

I also informed the palace because of our sudden disappearance from the hunt with a letter. Remember helps me to send it.

Cruel himself stayed in one of the guest rooms here. But he just kept quiet and ate the food that was delivered. Only he refused to get out.

So I think Cruel is no problem at all. He can take care of himself.

I'm also still visiting Deon. Just a reminder, the housework is all taken care of by Remember, so I have nothing on my plate right now.

Seeing him not waking up in the few days becoming so tired for me. I want him to be up and showing his shy side while still being attentive to my needs.

'Hurry up and wake up, Deon.'

Why do I become so sad when I see him lying like this. He appears even paler than usual, with his skin looking more lifeless than before, almost resembling a literal corpse. What if he never been awake again?

Even though just a few days ago I saw him happy, laughing and talking with me. He who laugh at my silly actions and he who also sad when i sad.

Why is he lying like this now? Is it because he's the protagonist?

I found myself unexpectedly in tears, and soon enough, I was sobbing as well, even though there was no clear reason for it.

Why, why does this heart hurt so much?

Then TING..

I notice this and feel stuck, almost paralyzed, forgetting that I've been crying. It feels like my heart has plummeted from a great height.

Ah, apparently so...

I have loved Deon.

Finally...

Initially, I accepted Deon's expression of love, but it wasn't out of love itself....

Deon is undeniably a handsome guy, and he would definitely be the most attractive person around. I admit that fact.

But who could truly fall for him so quickly without getting to know him better first? He tends to share his feelings a bit too soon for my liking, before I have the chance to understand him on a deeper level.

But that time, I find myself in a tough spot and truly need some support. Even if it means relying on someone else, I’m willing to accept his love.

I'm evil to Deon, i admit that, but he was the one who started it first. I never asked him to confess his love when I wasn't feeling well.

It feels hard to turn him down too, especially since he seems so vulnerable to break like I am.

As time went on, I got to know him better, and we began to laugh and share special moments together. Perhaps this is was the right time to start realize that I was falling in love with him.

And I pressed yes to accept the reward.

I’ve actually known what I wanted to ask since the very first time I arrived here. It's such the obvious one.

“Why am I being transmigrated?’’

'My fate, your ass' i curse this screen in my mind, not voicing it at all

“What should I am doing now? If this is my fate.”

'Does that mean I can only love him for a short time? Why?'

“Am I going to die if the demon king dead?”

I'm seeing the final question and just looked at it without saying anything. I should mention that I'm content, eager to return to my own world, and completely ready to leave this disappointing place behind without any regrets.

I really should have said that...

But why…

Why my heart feels so hurt, like transparent hand squeezed my heart. Make me burst out of cry. Even harder than my cried before.

'Why do I have to love him now when I know I’ll be leaving soon? It feels so unfair; it’s like the universe wants me to care for him just to make me suffer.'

I cried so intensely that I had to lay my head on the bed, overwhelmed by sadness and trying to stifle my sobs so I wouldn't disturb his sleep. My mind and my heart are at odds with each other. Wanting to go back and wanting to stay here.

And then i feel someone's hand on my head. "Don't cry" he said that with a soft and cracked voice. I realized whose this voice.

This voice...

"Are you awake, Deon?" My head ups to seeing Deon already open his eyelids, show his amazingly red eyes. His eyes looks worried with my condition.

"Why are you crying? I hate seeing you cry." He inquired as he wiped away my tears. I allowed it, even resting my head against his hand. I long to feel his rough hand and the warmth he brings to my life.

"Because you didn't wake up." I sobbed at him. Pouting my face to look more ludicrous and being topped by my wet face. He only crackled his breath and look at me warmly.

"Now I'm awake, so no need to cry."

"That's why I don't cry anymore." I dried my tears and wrapped my arms around him. I didn’t mention why I was crying as he held me close.

“Deon.” I reach out to him after he’s been examined by the doctor, nourished following his brief coma, and feeling much better. We’re both lying in bed together. I lay side to him while he's looking at the rooftop

“What?”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes.” He's still not looking at me. Is he lying?

But I'm not the quitter, “Is there any parts that hurts?’’

“No?”

Then I have to point my concern, “Your feelings, what about your feelings?”

“Peace.”

Impossible, don’t try to fake around me, Deon.

"Do you want to meet your brother? So you two can talk."

"---" Silence ahead.

"Deon, I think- I really think, why don't you have a good talk with your brother. Maybe there is a misunderstanding between you and your family"

"What misunderstanding?" His voice took on a sudden edge as he attempted to convince himself that there was absolutely no misunderstanding. He's look at me with shaked pupils.

But I also know that it no longer having use to him. He already know that fact too.

"Of course I also don't know, that's your family privacy. But your brother should know. If there wasn't a misunderstanding between you, your brother wouldn't have tried to save you from that killer, right?"

"He hates me and wants to kill me. Even though he is my brother..." He still try his best to resist the idea. His feeble attempts at resistance make me feel a sense of sadness for him. Yet, he really needs to change.

"You actually want to forgive him, don't you?"

"N-no..." His defense finally took a hit.

"Otherwise you wouldn't have called him big brother back then."

"___" He glanced downward, shutting his eyes tight and covering his ears with his hand, attempting to block me out completely. Yet, my voice broke through his final barrier.

"Admit it, Deon. Or he will give up his life again for you."

He was trembling and shaking as he removed his hands from his ears. Hit the nail.

"Instead of regretting it later. Talk to him, especially since he's your only family left."

"But, but if... This is just a misunderstanding at all. Father, Mother..." He can't even finish his sentence, but i know the what he's talking about.

"I'm sure they will forgive you. Those who didn't run away from you when you came home proves it. They love you so they give you their life"

"Mother, father... "

He wept, tears streaming down his face. Though his sobs were quiet, he couldn't help but lament about his parents and the regrets he held regarding them. At last, he came to terms with that truth.

I wrapped my arms around him, wanting to offer some comfort in this moment. I wanted him to know that I’m right here by his side. As I gently ran my hand along his back and through his hair, I could feel my shoulders getting damp from his tears.

Hoping that he can repent and forgive himself.

For himself and his family...

"Cruel, come in!" I stand in front of Deon's room with Cruel. I had to really pull this bigger guy than me just to get us here. Why he have to be such an unsupportive person?

"You don't want to come in?" He looks at me with his pitiful but still nervous one.

Why he looking at me like that, your pitiful gaze doesn't make me want to make the easy way for you.

"No, I've comforted him as best as I could. Please don't blame him too much or say harsh things to him. He himself knows best that he was wrong." His tears also bring me sadness. Love is so complicated that I find myself feeling sympathy for him.

"You really care about him."

"Because I am the girlfriend who loves him."

Then Cruel Hart enter his room and I turned around. Giving both people the privacy they want.

To Be Continued

[genmaichafan]

i did my best boss o7 again almost not following the prompt

no beta we just die

“You know you can tell me anything la Mia preda?”

Donna sat next to you on the long and upscale couch. She sat close but out of arm's reach. Her body language attentively leaned in but open.

You looked deeply into her eyes, sparkling a beautiful brown in the dim artificial lighting of her house. You would love to have gotten lost in them but it would've been rude to ignore her.

“Yeah.” you trailed off into thought despite being aware the answer was not quite good enough.

You always got a sense of danger coming from Donna after she clearly caught wind of your affections. Although you'd thought that you were mostly past the point of being just a lay because well it's been a couple of weeks of hanging out with Donna and there had been none of the aforementioned “laying”. In fact this was the first time you were in Donna's house where you didn’t feel you were in ‘danger’ of being a one night stand. Even if in past times you only made it as far as the door.

Despite the big step you were much more comfortable that you were not just going to be eaten up.

You had the sense in the past people only came in to never come back, whatever reason that was. 

You were not letting yourself be one of those people.

You made sure to try to get to know the real Donna and not just her professor, but damn if she didn't keep you at arm's length.

“Something wrong? You put the smile back on your face.

“No, I'm fine just thinking about you.”

This caused a wry smile to crawl onto Donna's lips.

Ah. there was that sense of danger again.

“You know i don't wanna just sleep with you right?” you couldn't help but blurt out in the moment. While maybe not true to the initial impression you truly meant it. Feeling slight guilt for the initial lusting.

Donna's face shifted into an expression of slight melancholy and culpability.

“What if i told you that's what i wanted from you instead.:

“I wouldn't believe you.”

Despite all Donna tried there was a loneliness about her, big and apparent as an Olympic size swimming pool.

It wasn't immediately fathomable to the average person why she would be. She was quite the popular person on an opinion-al level and mostly kept to herself otherwise.

But to you it seems it was clear as day every one that comes leaves the way they came.

Donna was silent. She could say the opposite but a silent understanding was that it'd be a lie.

“And if you knew the real me, if I actually did want more, would you leave?”

“Never.” you didn't hesitate to answer back.

“ the most amazing part is that i somehow believe you [y/n]”

“Then let me make you more than believe.” you reached a warm hand towards hers. Gently lacing your warm fingers with her icy ones.

She stared at the contact with a shy smile. You've never seen you look so bare.

_________

It's been a couple weeks since you've gotten Donna to open up. You've learned many things about her. A couple of things being:

Donna's is actually shy and embarrassed often enough to see her face flush a bit. Especially when she receives compliments from you nowadays. It seems she really believes you now, and doesn't keep you at arms length.

The few times you had seen Donna eat it had been medium rare meat. You'd offered to cook for her but she insisted that you don't since she was a picky meatatarian. Which you'd tried to scold her about but she assured you that she was as healthy as could be.

She loves cats and she has one of them of her own named Angie: A ragdoll with unique markings.

She's slightly allergic to the sun, and that's why she mostly lives at night.

And while naturally shy she'd learned to be confident in her ‘many’ years alive. (although she barely look 30)

You've noticed that her ears twitch excitedly when she sees you for the first time that day.

And finally noticed that when open she truly loves people and things deeply.

______

You went to knock on Donna's door for the third time this week, and like all the others Donna seemed to have noticed you coming because before you had time to knock she had already opened the  door.

Donna seemed genuinely happy whenever you came over and you could say the same.

“Mi-” she coughed loudly 

“[y/n]- would you like some wine this very late evening?”

“No thank you, I know you don't personally drink.”

Hearing this Donna couldn't help but pull you close to her.

“That's true, I prefer to get drunk on your presenza.”

Wrapping her arms around your waist; Donna smiled at you dreamily.swaying gently while humming, savoring the moment between the two of you. Leaning into the moment you rest your head on her chest.

Making note of,, the lack of heartbeat…?]

Donna was truly enraptured by the moment to notice the worry going on in your head for your lover.

You slowly pulled away.

“Donna, are you feeling well?”

“Better than ever, why?”

“Your heart beats are very faint, I can't hear it.” you half lied.

“Ah, don't worry, that's not a problem.” she gave you an assuring smile.

“It's been like that for a long time.” she assured you. Holding on to your hand leading into the next area of the house. She really did seem ok so you pushed worry and that ever bleeding sense of danger away for the time being.

_____ Donna leads you around to a part of her house that you had seen but really explored before. The most noticeable feature was a slightly ornate door that clearly led to the backyard.

You had never been there but you could tell it was a special place for Donna.

Yet today, She let you in.

It was the most splendid beautiful garden the moonlight could provide.

All the flowers were heavily budding, the various smells of each mixed and perfumed the air in an enchanting way. 

You felt gifted to be shared with this.

“-[y/n]” again she almost called you something else and hesitated. Donna was clearly holding back. 

“I wanted you here specifically tonight because this moon the flowers will bloom, and i wanted it to share it with you [y/n]”

Just like a flower a smile blossomed across your face.

“Thank you, I know how special this place is to you.”

Donna bit her lip and wrapped her arms around your waist once again.

“Of course m-mi tesoro” she paused, not sure if you could understand what was being said “my darling..” 

You beamed in the moonlight as you returned the gesture. Resting your arms on her shoulder, lacing the fingers behind Donna's neck.

Finding yourselves intimately close once again you could feel her exhale against your skin. Her hands moving down to the small of your back. Both your gazes flickering between the others eyes and somewhere lower.

“Mi tesoro, may i kiss you.” you nodded as the distance closed between the two of you. Sharing the first of many kisses. Paying no mind to the now blossoming flowers you had come here for.

[transmutationisms]

I couldn't stop thinking about you pointing out the theme of eugenics in this season finale. Finding out Kendall might be sterile was the icing on the cake. And Tom, who doesn't sleep and can withstand physical pain ends up at the top... he's got a dick like a red sequoia and he fucks like a bullet train.

this is a really interesting line of inquiry imo, because you're right that the rhetorical appeal tom makes to matsson very noticeably uses the language of physical strength and bodily fitness. at the same time, we know this to be kind of a lie: tom's been suffering for lack of sleep, he dipped early from the funeral reception last episode, and he spent most of season 3 terrified of the potential violence he could face in prison. i don't say this to pass some kind of judgment on tom, but to point out what i think is a parallel to logan, who also relied on the language of strength, masculinity, and domination, yet was introduced to us as sick and was in varying conditions of sickness / disability throughout the course of the show. both these characters are living in human bodies that are susceptible to various forms of pain and physical limitation, yet their rhetoric and the fascistic demands of corporate masculinity mean they can only survive and succeed by denying these things about their bodies for as long as possible.

the connection here to fertility, impotence, and sexual performance is fairly clear. fucking and impregnating someone is a way to demonstrate not just your power / ownership of that specific person, but also your general bodily fitness and place at the top of the corporate and gender hierarchy. there's some degree of ambiguity about tom's actual sexual performance, but certainly he uses the claim that he has a big dick and fucks well as a demonstration to greg not just of how he 'got' shiv, but also to justify his general position at the company. also, although shiv's motives for voting against kendall are complicated, it is true that she ultimately had to choose between her brother and her husband, who is also the father of her child—so, in some sense, tom's ability to ejaculate and impregnate someone does eventually win him the company. as for kendall, his literal infertility is really the bodily symbol of his metaphorical impotence in logan's eyes. logan sees him as weak for being emotional, as morally lax for using drugs, as pathetic for stuttering, and so forth. logan doesn't talk about his infertility (in the show), but the way he frequently uses feminising language toward kendall, and accuses him of homosexuality, also shows how kendall's infertility is perceived as a failure of his masculinity.

for logan and thus also the rest of the roys, what this ultimately comes down to is a specifically hereditarian idea of bodily fitness, wherein parentage and bloodlines matter as much as environmental circumstances (all of these factors matter in eugenic discourses). logan has defined himself as worthy and physically fit, so his legacy has to be carried on by offspring who inherit these things from him. in this way logan subconsciously hopes to prove his own strength and ability even beyond his death, as the survival of the empire and the bloodline will continue to signal his personal bodily capacity. of course this also betrays a deep sense of anxiety in logan, who fears that if his children are 'weak' or 'unfit' in some way, it also implies something is wrong with his own body and reflects poorly on him. this is partly what drives his clear embarrassment of his children, like in 'tern haven' when confronted with a rival family dynasty that speaks the language of high culture more successfully than the roys. it's also implied that this is part of what made logan view connor as a failure so early in his life: having his mother institutionalised suggests that logan saw in her a mental weakness or defect that would potentially be inherited by connor. parentage can biologically secure the child's position, but can also threaten it; and the child's fitness or lack thereof also reflects back on the parent. this sort of biological anxiety is both a discourse of fixity and one in which loss of status is always a possibility, eg in the ever-present fear of disability.

also, the causality in the show runs in multiple directions: sometimes a power dynamic shifts and is then inscribed on the body (shiv tripping in 'honeymoon states'), other times the bodily event is itself a cause of a power shift (logan yerfing in 'argestes'). then there are threads like matsson being physically so much larger than roman and kendall, in conjunction with his team being specifically young people who are athletically fit and academically credentialed, and matsson flashing his abs to make a business deal. and of course, matsson telling tom he might fuck his wife, and tom basically just nodding along—which tells us a lot about the power dynamic matsson foresees between himself and tom. bodies on this show are explicitly part of the political and rhetorical field of action, and the characters' ideas about bodily fitness are supposed to cue us to these larger discourses about which bodies are 'correct' and 'deserving' of power.