#that's the ship name now cause stone cold said so

[m3m3shadow]

When your tall boyf is cool with you hiding under his waistcoat while he internally screams at how cute you're being right now.

[moonlight-tmd]

I despise Sentinel so in this post i'm gonna be shit talking him.

So we all know Sentinel is not the best mech- he's quite terrible really; he's egoistical, selfish and a total jerk to everyone below him. He's known to be rude and blaming shit on others- just like he blamed the Archa-7 incident on Optimus even tho he was in charge of the operation.

Optimus- he never liked Sentinel, the only reason he stuck by him was because of Elita. Sentinel wanted to have Elita as a sparkmate so he pretended to be the good bot, but Elita chose Optimus who was also interested in her. The two got together right before the incident. Optimus never said it but he believes Sentinel sabotaged their mission so they don't get to be together...

He wasn't any better when he was handed duty at the military training camp that Bulkhead and Bee ended up in. The little yellow mini reminded him so much of his failed love interest he couldn't help but connect all the things Elita hurt him with and punish the mini for them. Bee was constantly on the worst kinds of chores the soldiers in training were supposed to do, not only that but he also made sure to talk down on him as much as possible to make sure he drops the sad and soft attitude and toughens up to be cold like him. And it seemed to work... until the little pimple decided to stick with the other bigger pimple name Bulkhead and started "fighting back". They both caused trouble and annoyed Sentinel to the limits, on top of that he found of that one of the other officers there has arrested one of his favorites, Wasp, under the accusation of him being a Decepticon Spy. And it was from Bee's and some other bot's prompting. He never bothered to get into details but it was enough to kick him out the first chance he caused trouble- even if it wasn't even his fault.

He wasn't surprised to see the failure of a friend Optimus have him on board of the repair crew. He didn't believe when said failure called on the emrgency line telling they have found the artifact the Cybertron's forces were looking for centuries now since it disappeared. He wasn't concerned when they were reported missing along with the Decepticon ship's signal next to theirs. He actually didn't want to bother looking himself but was put on that duty anyway.

Meanwhile Team Prime has ended up on Earth and spend good couple years just minding their business with Sari in peace before the 'cons showed up. Of course, only few months later the dread of Sentinel Prime has seeped down to the planet and Sari got to experience it first hand, although with Optimus and others there it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

So Sentinel and his crew (Jazz and Jettwins, sometimes Blurr and Longarm join in) have the ship circle the Earth's atmosphere in order to prevent any more Decepticons from coming there. Meanwhile Team Prime is weighted down with the responsibility of collecting and protecting the Allspark Shards, since they were doing a good job before the Elite Guard showed up. In rare cases do the Elite Guard actually come down to fight along them. It's most oftem Jazz who has to remind Sentinel that this is a repair crew and they don't have proper weaponry to fight so they kinda NEED to be down there.

Going back to Team Prime- Bumblebee is not having a good time since Sentinel came to earth. he thought he's finally found a piece of the universe he can call home but of course, this stupid awful person had to come and ruin it all. Bulkhead is not happy either, especially since he knows what Bumblebee went thru- he knew little of Bumblebee's past and sparklinghood but that little information he did know was enough to send his Spark to the deepest end of sadness. He sworn to protect his little buddy, the promise was set in stone when they became Amicas right after the horrible Wasp has somehow gotten on Earth just few weeks after Sentinel and tried to replace Bee.

...But that didn't stop Sentinel from what he did.

Optimus was painfully aware of the similarities between Elita and Bumblebee, he might have accidentally reffered to him as Elita when they are arguing but he never thought of him as some Elita-clone like Sentinel. He was aware of how badly Sentinel treats Bee- the mech was awfully open about it, in fact.

I imagine that at one point, Bee would actually fight back to his abuse when somehow they were left alone... only for Sentinel's final string to snap and he physically beat Bee up as punishment for standing up to him. He even threatened to put him in stockades for good few stellar cycles for every bit of slag he's done over the course of his live if Bee ever told anyone that it was him that did it. For once, Bee cooperated with him, but it was out of fear...

Bulkhead knew something was wrong, Bumblebee was activating the bond duller very often and wouldn't tell him why. Ratchet also was suspicious because the scout seemed to come back from patrols or fun rides covered in dents and damages. But he always blamed it on his clumsyness or that he had a crash while skating. Bee might be a stubborn bot and a good actor, but he is also very gullible. Especially when the one lying to him is someone he fears or trusts...

But all that illusion of "everything is okay" was broken after one fight with Megatron and his minions. Both Team Prime and Elite Guard has failed to defeat Decepticons and now Megatron had some very risky tech in his servos. Sentinel was furious, yelling at the worthless low ranks that they couldn't do something as simple as this. Jazz and Optimus tried their best to diffuse the situation but that only made Sentinel more angry, the Jettwins hid behind the others in fear of what Sentinel might do. Then Bumblebee spoke up... it was a grave mistake.

Sentinel had knocked him down and started throwing relentless punches and grabbing every bit of the mini possible just to rip it off. it was Bulkhead who grabbed and threw the vile mech off of his buddy before throwing punches himself. He actually did more damage to Sentinel than what damages he gave Bee- said yellow bot was shaking on the ground, energon spilling on his vision from the ripped off horn wound, it was only seconds before he passed out because his stress levels shot out of the scale.

Sentinel was put in arrest and Bee in medbay for monitoring after they both got fixed with the key. It was then that Ratchet brought up the topic of Bee's wounds to the rest of the group; He had notices few times where Bee came back with visible wounds and was made to sit in medbay for Ratchet to fix him. Despite what Bee said had happened he knew those were the wounds one would get from a brawl. While looking over Bee he notices few of said wounds still healing in places where he didn't fix him, the progress of each one told him he must have gotten beaten up repeatedly at different times.

Bulkhead did notice Bee sometimes having dents when he came back to base, always having the bond duller on prior to it. But he always saw a dent on him whenever he saw the scout with...

"That fragger..." Bulkhead hissed, having connected the dots already. Pure rage boiled in his system as he turned to walk out of medbay. "It was Sentinel."

Sari was sitting beside Bee and Prowl while Optimus and Ratchet tried to calm the giant down and stop him from going to Sentinel who was held somewhere in the plant and under other Guards' watch.

"Sentinel always hated Bee's guts from the moment he saw him! He always tried to make him as miserable as possible- he was almost worse than Wasp!" Bulkhead argued while the two older mechs blocked his path. "I understand tha-" Optimus tried to reason but it was no use, Bulkhead only got more mad and shouted back at him.

"NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!" None of them ever saw the big bot so angry, so steaming with rage. "If it wasn't for me, Bee wouldn't even be here!!"

They knew how much hurt and abuse Bee had endured during boot camp, Bee, with a bit of Bulk's prompting, has told them himself way before this incident. With that knowledge and what Bulkhead said just now... only one assumption could be made.

"I don't care if you kick me out or whatever- I'm not gonna let it past him! The fragger stepped far over the line." Bulkhead pushed past them both, only to be physically stopped by Ratchet's magnets just by the medbay shutter. Somehow he was persuaded to stay by Bee's side in the end...

When Bee woke up he was gently questioned by Optimus and others. Bulkhead never spoke a word, only gently nudging Bee into telling more thru their amica bond. They couldn't believe Sentinel did all that to him right under their scent sensors. They never knew how Sentinel kept his job for so long despite being morally a criminal, this- this was whole chapters of Elite Guard Code broken. Even if he was effective on field the way he commanded everything was horrible, Optimus has made a whole few-essays-worth of material on him to report.

Bee felt so awful, not only did he get tricked into yet another abuse situation he also made himself look like he doesn't trust his friends enough to tell them. He could only apologize while they comforted him.

Bulkhead came to Bee's room alone later that night, those 2 had yet to talk about what happened...

"Please, don't ever think you can't tell me anything that's bothering you. We made a promise, and I'm gonna stick to it for as long as I live." Bulkhead said after Bee had launched into the trail of apologies once again. Bee had cried himself to recharge while Bulkhead held him in a hug, the big bot refused to leave his side that night.

Bulkhead was willing to kill Sentinel in order to protect Bee and didn't care about the consequences. It showed how deep their friendship goes... Also the fact Bumblebee was suicidal at some point of his life made them even more worried about him in the first place knowing he most often hides his personal issues.

Sentinel's life was literally crumbling after this one- every bit of harrassment, torment and wrong-doing was put up against him and it didn't seem he wasn't getting out of this one. Optimus' rank has been restored and he was offered to lead the Elite Guard fleet instead of Sentinel, which he surprisingly refused. He was better with what he had now, which was the little family-like team of repair bots. Jazz and the rest of Sentinel's team were put under Optimus' charge to help out until further notice.

Bumblebee may been a little brat at times but he had a Spark of gold- despite what Sentinel (and Wasp) did to him, he felt bad for making them suffer in return. The others kept telling him they did this to themselves and that he shouldn't feel bad for it.

I fucking hate this massive chin guy. Also protec lil bean Bee! yes!

[the-fiction-witch]

The Mother

Media Game Of Thrones

Character Bran Stark

Couple Bran X Reader

Rating Smut

Kinktober day 28

Kinktober concept tenticles

When we arrived the cave was… not what I expected. It was dark, icy cold, with the grey roots and bloody vines of the werewood trees above and along the walls. The children lead us deeper into the darkest.

I was fearful but my choice was them or the others out there and honestly, I'm not sure which I feared more. 

Suddenly they stopped and seemed to spread outputting a fair space between us them 

"What's going on?" I asked 

"She is coming" the children whispered

"Hodor. Guard the door with summer" 

"Hodor" he nodded taking Summer with him towards the entrance of the cave just in case we needed a way back out.

"She is coming" they whispered their voices hushed and almost frightened 

"Who is coming?" I asked them trying to sound strong and not let my fear seep into my thought

"The mother" they whispered "The mother, the mother" They said it like a mantra as If calling out to whatever answered that name 

But suddenly without warning the roots and vines all the walls and that hung from the ceiling wrapped around each of us, Meera, jojen and I were immediately thrown back tight against the walls of the cave with the roots around our wrists, ankles, waists and necks as of the roots had come alive to form our chains, of course, Meera screamed as did jojen I think we all panicked 

"What's going on!" Meera yelled trying to fight her way out on the wall to my left 

"The hell are these roots there fucking alive!' Jojen complained on the wall to my left 

"Just stay calm we'll find a way out of this" I did my best to reassure them but the roots tightened and I saw as roots now covered both Meera and Jojen's eyes and even if it was a fight another slipped into their mouths seeming to force feed them this grey sap like substance that made them calm and relaxed in the restrains I tried to tell but my own vision was taken and I felt the thick root force its way down my throat forcing this sticky stuff down and as much as I tried to fight it was intoxicating, and so pleasant like ale and mead but even stronger it just made me feel so happy, so content, unwilling to argue. 

I lost track of how long I had been here and my mind had grown complacent and unresistant as I’m sure the intention was. I had tried to escape into time, into Hodor, summer or anyone else eyes but I found it impossible to do so. But I gained some clarity when the root in my mouth left as did the one covering my eyes, and I saw this… creature.

A woman formed of wood and leaf-like some kind of green statue or earthly god her skin deathly pale like a werewood tree her hair the red of the leaves, carvings across her body sigils and runes lost to time, blood running down from her eyes. 

“What are you?” I spoke up 

“I am the mother of the earth”

“Mother? The mother to what?”

“The children” she smiled 

“The children of the forest? You’re the mother of the children of the forest?”

“That I am”

“You- You’re the first woman. The first woman of Westeros. Mother to the children of the forest and all other things in this world”

“Clever boy” she smiled 

“What do you want? Why have you summoned me here?” 

“You are dangerous. With the others marching you are a danger to all that exists”

“If we don’t stop them they’ll destroy all life here”

“No, they will destroy all people life will always remain” 

“So you’re on their side?”

“I am on no side. I am only on the side to protect life, to protect the world we have worked so hard to build and hold all this time. I have lost enough of the world we made to men. Our trees are almost gone, the arm has been swallowed, this world is being littered by stones and ships none of which that sound be here” she explained “You shall remain here where you cannot cause problems” she says 

“What will you do with us?”

“Nothing you will merely be kept here, used to feed my dying trees” she explained 

“You can’t just keep us here!”

“I will hear no complaints I’m sure of it” she smirked glancing at Meera and jojen, I looked and saw they were different from the last I saw them, the roots had all but overtaken them the roots wrapped and coiled around them to swallow them up but the smaller leaf covered roots had taken an even sicker control.

Meera had roots slipped under her shirt the roots gripping and squeezing at her breasts, another under her clothes repeatedly forcing its way inside both her pussy and ass, a leaf playfully tickling her clit and inner thigh, still blind and being forced to swallow the thick grey sap, the wall and floor of the cave below her wet and damp clearly showing we had been here a long time.

Jojen too had roots slipped under his clothes a root wrapped around his cock squeezing and rubbing another inside him the wall under him too covered in his seed proving we had been here a good long time. 

“Stop! You can’t just do that to them!”

“It is what they have asked” she explained petting Jojen’s hair “You should see the sickness they wish for him more so than her” she chuckled “And I see your sickness, Brandon. I see the sickness you see in me” she slyly smiled 

The roots around me tightened slipping their way under my clothes 

“Ahh- ahhh! Let me go!” I pleaded but I had no resistance to the roots she controlled it slipped under my clothes and coiled around my cock, and the root returned to my mouth forcing it down my throat and feeding me the sap again forcing me to relax and admittedly… I enjoyed it. As much as I wanted to escape the longer it went on the more I enjoyed it relaxing into the pleasure until I hit my orgasm my seed shooting across the cave and onto her she smiled and gave my head a gentle kiss 

“Enjoy yourself my raven boy” she cooed before the roots covered my eyes again and leaving us to be kept happy, compliant and unable to leave. 

[dahliarosebud]

- Love Is A War Series ~ Aemond x Reader

• Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

• MAIN-MASTER-LIST

• HOTD-MASTER-LIST

Warnings: Death, mentioned child birth

Synopsis: You’re finally back with your family in Pentos. Yet it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

———————

With my family alas. My heart can stop jumping out of my chest when Septa’s voice loomed over me. I stood with my hands pressed against the stone ledge - not dull and ugly like the red keep. But a warm sunbathed beige. The wind kissed at my face as I stared out to the sea.

I leaned further excitement rampaging through my veins as I watched my father and mother. Caraxes flying straight up. My room being darkened as the vermilion scaled belly the flew past. I could no longer see them, but I knew they were far above me.

Carxe’s whistle and Vahgar’s heavy grunt called out like thunder in a summers sky. Green soon followed by red; rushing past my open window balcony. Their blonde hair trailed behind them. Once they were out of sight and hearing range I grabbed a book and sat on the ledge. ‘The histories of the seven kingdoms.’ 

Kepa had gifted it to me for my seventh name day, he would read it to me till I would drift asleep and my head would rest on Mu��a’s lap as my sister’s rested either side of me. The blue soon turned orangey pink and the waves slowly sloshed against the shore. The bustling in the dinning rose me from seat on the ledge, my back growing sore from the ever-digging stone.

I walked into the quaint hall. The large table set out with an array of exotic foods you would never would have found at the seemingly never-ending dinners with King Viserys and his wife. I zoned out once the annoying man’s voice began to drone on - I wish I had stayed in my room now.

“A toast to Aegon the Conqueror, your exalted forebear, who joined our cause against Volantis in the Century of Blood. On the great dragon Balerion,” I lazily held my cup in the air my arm slowly growing tired. Not missing the way my father gave my mother a look, “he flew to our aid in Lys and burned a fleet of enemy ships, thus turning the tide.”

My father stood up and we all raised our cups even higher. “Aegon the Conqueror.”

“To Aegon.” We all said our praise in unison. My perfect sisters smiling brightly at father, I rolled my eyes in hunger. My father drank from his cup finally sitting down. 

Reggio’s voice rejoiced again. “This brings me to some business. A proposal I wish to make in the spirit of honouring our storied alliance.” Here we go. I gulped down a mouthful of wine and shovelled some pork into my mouth. 

My mother’s soothing voice calmed my mind as always, “If your aim is to marry one of our daughters, Your Excellence, you might have said so and spared us the history lesson.”

I grew pale and just as fast as my apatite left, we left the dinner. Mother stood behind Rhaena and her soft hands pushed Baela and I along. I went into my chambers my bath already drawn. The mad undid my dress the cold biting at my naked skin. 

Fully submerged. Surrounded by warm water, finally at peace. My eyes tired and droopy. My head tipped back, eyes closing just for a second. A raven cawed. The piercing noise making me jump. I stood up grabbing my robe and wrapped it around me. I put my arm out allowing the bird to hop onto my arm. I carried it inside. Taking the parchment from its beak. He flew from my arm back into the night.

I slipped on my night gown ready to go see father and mother to wish the goodnight. The parchment staring at me from where it rested on my desk as I left the room.

Finally, I found Rhaena. I knocked on the door and entered. She sat knees to her chest staring at the egg. I sat next to her watching as the fire danced iver the scaled egg. “You will have dragon Rhaena it may not be born to you, but I know you will be a strong dragon rider just as Aegon’s wife Rhaenys was.”

She leaned her head on your shoulder, “and you will be Visenya Y/n. What about Baela?”

She lifted her head and stared at me, “She can be Meraxes, but don’t tell her I said that” I whispered and smiled as the girl giggled. We were startled by our mother’s screams. “Wait here and do not move, okay?” She nodded and I ran out of the room.

“Kepa? Kepa!” I ran round the corner stopping as her screams stopped. My heart never left its place in my throat until it dropped to my stomach when I saw my father press his back to the wall. I saw the bottom of mother’s dress dust around the corner of the open doorway that led to the beach where Vahgar rested.

I ran after her. Slowing to a stop when I saw my mother. I was about to call out until a weak “Dracarys,” seeped from her chapped lips and Vahgar opened her mouth flurried swirls of fire flowed out. I felt sick. Bile rising to my throat. 

“Leana!” That was my father, but he was muffled. I cried, gasping as no air entered my lungs as I ran forward. “Y/n! Y/n!” My father called after me.

“Muña! Muña!” It hurt. It hurt everywhere. I couldn’t see. My vision became blurry with tears. I kicked and screamed louder as my father snatched me from the ground (finally having caught up). “Muña! Muña.” My father pulled me away shushing me softly. 

Baela and Rhaena stood in the doorway hands clasped together tears in their eyes. He finally let go of me and I fell to the floor sickened. I felt my sisters’ arms around me. Baela’s quiet voice asking father whether it was true then their bodies shaking with mine. I looked up at my father watching as he wiped his tears.

I opened the door sluggishly my warm room greeting me. I was about to be comforted by the soft sheets only for the roll of parchment to catch my eye. I got up crumpling it into my hand. I walked to the fire that illuminated the room in an orange hue tossing it in. Watching as the paper burned.

What was the point in reading it Aemond can just tell me all about it at the funeral.

[totally-not-deacon]

It's WIP Wednesday, my dudes!

Tagged by @throughtrialbyfire! Thanks a bunch!!

In turn, I'll bug @miraakulous-cloud-district @kookaburra1701 and @rogueshadeaux if ya wanna!

Sooo, I haven't had as much time to write as I usually would, thanks to condensed courses kicking in. Thankfully it's only for the next two months. And most of the writing I have been doing isn't directly part of AR, but a future may-not-ever-be-published-cause-it's-just-that-self-indulgent sappy epilogue lmao. That one started out as getting a scene out of my head, and then it just... exploded. I'll give y'all some of the main fic I've chipped away at, and as a treat, a little bit of epilogue that won't spoil TOO much of what's going down under the cut.

Arenthia Red:

“When this is all over with, I’m moving somewhere flat.” Marasa shivered so hard she felt she’d fall over. Maybe there was a shout out there that would teach her to fly. Wouldn’t that be nice? “I don’t even want to see an anthill after this.” “And yet you’re the one that dragged us up here.” Nebarra grumbled. “And once again, left me to haul all the firewood.” “Oh, you’ll live.” “The day’s not over yet.” “Guys, can we please go inside now? I’m not even sure I still have toes.” No, if any of them was looking worse for wear, it was Lucien. The fact that he was still upright and not lying frozen halfway back down the path was a shock to them all. She wasn’t sure he’d ever acclimate to the cold or altitude. “Alright, alright, we’re going.” Marasa bumped his shoulder playfully before dragging the massive door open, the frozen metal scraping against the stone making their ears ring. Their footfalls echoed across the hall, just as they had the first time they’d stepped through. In fact, it looked like nothing had changed at all. Maybe it had always been like this, even at its founding. “Hello? Arngeir, you home?” she called out, wincing at how loud her little joke was compared to the relative silence of the monastary. “I’m sure he just ran down to the market for some bread and eggs.” Nebarra deadpanned next to her. “Shut it, skeever brain.” she rapped her knuckles against his breastplate. “Rich coming from the goblin wearing an elf suit.” “Are you children done?” Xelzaz shook his head. The gods must have a strange sense of humor when it came to picking their champions.

Self-Indulgence ahead! (set four-ish years post-game in 4E205)

“What’s the name of the ship again?”

“The… Sword of Alinor, I think.”

“Huh, weird name for a passenger ship.” she mumbled, letting her feet dangle over the side of the dock, toes just barely skimming the water’s surface. Must have been repurposed after the war. Marasa’s fingers twisted in the hem of her tunic. She tried to focus on the sound of the waves crashing against the docks, trying to keep the urge to run at bay. She zeroed in on it. This had to be a mistake, just what was she thinking?

“Shouldn’t I be the nervous one?”

“You’ve been pacing for the last hour.”

“I get sea sick.” he said, simply.

“No you don’t.” Nebarra grumbled to himself before taking a seat next to her, putting an arm around her shoulders. She pressed herself into him, sighing. It was uncommon for either of them to show much affection in public – rarely did they let their guard down enough to do so. The change of pace was… nice. Maybe it would last. “Besides, they’ll like you. Probably.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” he said flatly, feeling her laugh quietly against him. “And you’re sure they won’t mind me…”

“Being an Altmer?” she asked, shaking her head. “Not at all. I mean, my first partner was Khajiit, after all.”

“Wait, really?” Had she not told him that? Must have slipped her mind. “He wasn’t one of those… really big ones, right? ‘Cause I’ll fight your ex if I have to, but –”

Marasa snorted. “No, and you don’t have to fight anyone. Last I heard, Ja’zan’s married and been living in Riverhold for decades now.”

“But seriously, what’s got you nervous?” That was his job, anyway. This was more terrifying than any dragon they’d faced together – including Alduin – as far as he was concerned.

“ Besides the obvious? It’s just… Last time, I didn’t even tell them I left, or why. Just… hopped on the first ship out at dawn, didn’t matter where it was going. And now,” she chewed her lip. “It’s been almost fifteen years. What if they don’t want to see –”

“Then they wouldn’t have sounded so excited in their letter.” He rested his hand on the back of her neck, thumb rubbing soothing circles against it. Marasa leaned into the touch. “Besides, at least you’re better at writing home than I am.”

“I’m glad you did, though.”

Only to get you to quit harassing me about it.” he teased.

[nenesleepyhead]

The Oni and the little Sparrow

Fandom: Touchstarved

Ship: Ais x Kira (OC/MC)

Words count: 1’703

Mainly fluff with a bit of suggestive theme towards the end

Here the link for Kira’s visual

Here the link for the manga version (still working in progress, stay tuned)

I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

———— ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ————

At the Wet Wick was another busy evening, the setting sun casting a vibrant variety of colors dancing in the room thanks to the colorful windows.

Kira sat at a table in the corner, sketching something in her drawing book, a soft smile adorning her features.

At the counter Vere and Ais were having a chat with Leander, although the fox kept glancing curiously towards the young woman with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Too absorbed in their conversation, neither Ais nor Leander noticed their companion had strode sneakily towards Kira.

With a swift movement Vere snatched the drawing book out of Kira's grasp, chanting loudly.

“Let's see what our little girlie was drawing with that pleased smile plastered on her face.” To Kira's horror Vere started skimming through the pages of the book, a smirk made its way on Vere's face as he started to walk back towards the counter while deflecting every attempt from Kira to get the book back.

“Oh Ais, would you look at that, it seems that you caught the attention of a certain someone.” Vere said, putting an arm around Ais shoulders and shoving the book in his hands. The Monster had just the time to take a look at a couple of pages before the soft quivering voice of the woman in front of him made his head shoot up.

“How dare you! And here I thought that you, as an artist, would have known how important and private some artwork can be. But clearly I was wrong, you are just the biggest of assholes, Vere.” Kira met Ais' eyes briefly before lowering her hood to shield her glistening eyes, and scurrying away in shame. Vere turned to Ais chuckling nervously.

“Whoopsie.” The sheepish smile on Vere's face was met by a sharp and cold glare by Ais that immediately made the fox flatten his ears on his head, averting his eyes and sulking on his seat. With a sigh Ais looked down at the open book; what he found after turning a page made his crimson eyes widen for an instant. Closing the book he followed Kira's steps outside of the bar. Looking around, he tried to think about where she could have gone, and with a glance at the book in his hand, an idea popped in his head. He walked towards the alleyway in which they talked after their first meeting during Kira's first night in Eridia.

The shadows were getting longer and buried the alleyway in darkness, not that that would be a problem for the Monster's crimson gaze. There as expected he found Kira, sitting down on the cold stone pavement behind a crate; her cape was tightly wrapped around her tiny figure and her head, hidden by her hood was buried on her knees. He took a step closer, circling the crate to drop down on one knee in front of her.

“Here you are, little sparrow. You'll catch a cold if you stay out here like this.” Hearing Ais' deep voice caused Kira to flinch and clutch the cape even tighter and closer to her. Sighing, Ais stood back up only to go sit down at Kira's side.

“Kira, look at me.” Kira winced a bit hearing Ais using her name instead of the cute nickname she began to love. With a defeated sigh, Kira rose her head, still not confident enough to meet his gaze, worried about what he might think now that he knew, all thanks to Vere's big mouth.

“So, I saw you've drawn me a lot.” Kira shifted her gaze to the opposite side, blushing slightly. She opened her mouth to speak but Ais' next words made her stop.

“You really are talented, you know. You've made this by memory, right?” Kira turned her head to Ais, meeting his mesmerizing eyes.

“And you got good taste too.” Kira's flustered face became one of complete annoyance as soon as she noticed the cocky smirk on Ais' face; His grin got even bigger with triumph for being able to catch her attention. Kira puffed her cheeks out, causing the Oni to chuckle at her cuteness.

“But seriously, you really are talented, and I especially like the drawings you made of Princess.” Ais gave the book back to Kira, leaving it open on one of the aforementioned drawing. Kira let out a timid smile caressing the page portraying the red-eyed Soulless.

“Thank you... You really aren't creeped out by the fact I almost filled up a book with drawings portraying yourself?”

“Why would I, little sparrow? It just means you find me interesting. Next time just let me know you're going to draw me so, I can pose for you.” Kira giggled, slapping Ais' arm softly.

“Don't get too cocky now.” Kira offered a shy smile to Ais who reciprocated it with a soft one.

Kira let her hood fall down, timidly moving a strand of her turquoise hair behind her ear.

“Anyway, would you like to know which one is my favorite of them all?” Ais nodded and Kira turned the page to the next one, revealing another drawing of Princess, the only difference from the others was that Ais was in it too. The drawing depicted of him down to one knee in front of the Soulless dog, focused on scratching her head, a scene from their first encounter.

“Why is that your favorite?” Ais kept looking at the drawing, appreciating the details on Princess body.

“Because of your expression. You had the softest smile adorning your face, while you were cuddling your cute little Princess.” Ais was taken aback by her answer, but the shock didn't last long and was shortly to be replaced by a soft smile, just like the one in the drawing; this time was aimed at Kira and, without even realizing it, he caressed her cheek tenderly, making Kira blush profusely.

“May I ask you why you like drawing so much, though?” Ais' question made Kira fidget a bit; while she was turning the pages, she stopped absentmindedly on one with a full-page face portrait of Ais.

“Because that's my only way to be able to touch people without my curse ruining everything.” Kira caressed Ais' features imprinted on the paper. He didn't miss the saddened tone in Kira's voice so he put a comforting hand on Kira's thigh squeezing it. His hand rested near the inner upper thigh, letting two of his fingers brush softly over Kira's beauty spot. His tender touch send a tiny shockwave through her skin and its warmth made Kira lifts her head to look back at him. It was a common occurrence for the Oni to end up touching, without even realizing it, the little dots adorning Kira's body: on the cheek below her right eye, at the base of her neck, on her left thigh. The only ones that were still untouched -for now- were the one that mockingly taunted him from the top of her left breast and the one on the front side of her right hip who were hidden to the world by her clothes. Only Kuras may have gotten a glimpse of it while patching Kira up when she was unconscious from the attack of that Soulless, the one that greeted her and the carriage at the door of Eridia at their arrival.

His touch was always so gentle when reaching out to her, as if scared that he could broke her, but at the same time his whole being was drawn to her. The more he discovered new sides of her personality the more the desire to bite and run his lips over those soft spots, marked by cute little dots, grew stronger each passing day. After a moment of silence, in which they kept staring at each other, Ais spoke again.

“Say, I have a request for you. What if you draw me a portrait of yourself that I can keep? After all it's only fair, don't you think? You have a full book of drawings portraying me, so there's nothing wrong with me wanting to have one of yourself for myself.” His fanged smirk and request let Kira speechless.

“What?” Kira was indeed blushing and was confused by that out of the blue request.

“You heard me, little sparrow.” Ais' smirk never faltered.

“I... I guess I can do that, but I can't garantee you about the result, I never drawn myself before.”

“I'm sure it's going to be great, don't worry. But now let's get back inside or you'll really end up with a cold. I'll buy you a drink.” Kira realized only in that moment that by then the sun completely had set and the moon was showing itself timidly from behind the roofs.

“I guess you're right, but I don't know if I want to interact with Vere right now. Most of the times I can't stand him but tonight urgh, he reached a new level of insufferability.” Ais chuckled at Kira's words.

“Don't worry, I'm pretty sure he won't pull any more bullshit... for tonight.” Kira with a sigh mixed to a laugh let herself be guided back inside, a warm hand placed securely between her shoulders and her book hugged close to her chest.

When they reached the counter, Leander welcomed them with a smile and Vere just waved at Kira, who blatantly ignored him sitting down at Ais other side, using him as a barrier thanks to his huge frame. She ordered a hot tea to let herself relax, while Vere pouted for being ignored so openly and that made a boisterous laugh erupt from Ais. Downing his drink Ais, patted Kira's head, before letting his hand rest on her thigh, to squeez it for the second time that night. Once again, Kira blushed and leaned into his warmth, watching the smoke from his lit cigarette dancing up towards the ceiling. Finally knowing that she could be more open about her drawings with her favorite being in all of Eridia, and in the whole world.

———— ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ————

[strawberrisoulmate]

Confrontation

repost of an old fic i wrote back in march of last year. i'm still super proud of it and wanted it on my new blog ♡ word count: ~5k ship: n/a (implied sigma x hannah) warnings: major spoilers for the ending of zero escape: virtue’s last reward. like. BIG SPOILERS. 

It had been a few hours since the conclusion of the Nonary Game. Everyone had made it to 9 points and escaped. But the joy and relief they’d felt upon opening the number 9 door was short-lived. Their delusional victory had been cut short, only to be met with a horrible truth about the world as they knew it. The deadly virus — Radical-6 — had spread across the entire world, causing what could only be described as the apocalypse. Complete and utter chaos filled the streets, piles of corpses around every turn, plant and animal life began to die out. 

Madness.

That’s what she thought when she heard it all. She didn’t believe it was possible for the world to just end like that. Last thing she remembered, she was on her way to school in a perfectly normal world. But to be told that the year was 2074, a full forty-five years after her last waking memory before she was brought to this place, it seemed impossible. 

But no matter how hard she tried to deny it, no matter how impossible it seemed, this was reality.

Now here she stood, in front of the closed door to the Director’s Office, fists gripping at her sleeves as she nervously bit her lip. Sigma, alongside Phi, had already left them all to travel back to the past in order to fulfill the mission set in stone by Zero Sr. and Akane Kurashiki. They’d said their bittersweet goodbyes, and as much as she knew why he had to go, it didn’t stop the tightening of her heart in her chest. Despite the plan being explained in great detail, and knowing full well that it had good intentions at its core, she couldn’t help but feel acrimonious to those who’d put them in this horrible situation. She blinked away the tears that had begun to form in her eyes and slowly raised her hand to the door.

The knock that followed was almost timid — more so than she’d intended. Her initial aim was to march straight into the office, stare Zero in the face, and demand to know why he had forced them all to suffer through this hell. Although she’d already received the basic explanation for why everyone had been brought to this facility, the answers had left her feeling unsatisfied, especially her own. Because of that, her resolve had solidified. She needed to hear it directly from Zero’s — from Sigma’s — mouth. 

The door opened silently, without waiting for a verbal cue from the other side allowing her to enter. But as she stepped inside, her eyes focused immediately onto the figure sitting alone at the desk. His back was turned to her, but she knew who he was. 

“Doctor Klim?”

The name felt foreign on her lips and addressing him as such made the hairs on her neck stand up. Even if this was Sigma, she knew that this wasn’t the same Sigma she’d gotten to know so well. Even if he shared the name, the Sigma sitting in front of her was virtually an entirely different person. 

The man’s position didn’t change when she entered the room, but he seemed to be listening, waiting for her to give her reason for wanting to speak with him. “Yes? What is it, Hannah?”

She frowned slightly when he didn’t stop his work to turn and look at her. His mannerisms felt cold and unfamiliar. “I… wanted to talk with you.” The hesitation was apparent in her voice, but even still, she continued nonetheless. “Is that alright?”

“Yes,” the man replied. “You came to discuss the results of the Nonary Game, is that correct? What do you plan to do now that it has ended?”

Hannah paused. Her eyes fell to the ground and wandered off to the side. “I don’t know,” she confessed. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.” She sighed, bringing her hands together in front of her as she thought briefly about all of the events preceding the present moment. “I can’t go home, because there isn’t a home for me to go back to. The only thing I can do is stay here, but what’s the point in doing that? Am I just supposed to live here and be miserable for the rest of my life?” She felt the tears that she’d previously brushed away returning, stinging her eyes as she did her best to keep them from falling. 

“Why did you even bring me here in the first place?” the girl asked with a bite in her tone. “Almost everyone else has some important reason for being here, but why me? I’m not an esper with weird telepathic abilities. I’m not a part of some secret government organization. And I’m not a clone or a robot or whatever the fuck else!” Her attempt to hold back the tears had failed despite her best effort to hide them, and she felt her face grow hot. “I’m just… me. I’m just an art student trying to get by living on her own in a shitty apartment. I don’t have anything to do with the AB Project, or the Nonary Game, or Akane Kurashiki. So…” Her voice trailed off. “So… why…?”

There was a long silence. Hannah sniffled a bit, and quickly wiped her eyes, but even so, the tears kept coming no matter how much she tried to dry them. The doctor’s hand had stopped writing, but he remained quiet for what seemed like an eternity. Then, he slowly placed his pen onto the desk and turned his chair towards her. She didn’t look up to meet his eyes, but his expression was grim and he appeared tired. His hands folded gingerly in his lap and he took a long, slow inhale before speaking. 

“I’m uncertain that the answer I can provide you will be satisfactory,” Zero began. “But in simplest terms, I can only say that I wished to protect you.”

The girl’s shoulders stiffened a bit. “Protect me?”

“You are correct that every person was brought here to serve a purpose. Of course, Phi and the younger version of myself were the main contenders of this project. Their involvement was inevitable. Clover and Tenmyouji were included because of their unique abilities as espers to access the fourth dimension. Alice, because of her connections to the SOIS and knowledge of how to deactivate the bombs placed by Dio. Dio, even if he was unaware, because of his involvement with Free the Soul and the facility attempting to shut down the AB Project. K — or Kyle, in this case — because I needed to make sure that someone would be able to take over my work in the event that something happened to me. And Luna, a GAULEM of my own creation, to observe the actions of the players and to steer them in the right direction. She was included to make sure the game ran smoothly. Every participant had a role to play.

“Now, you may have noticed that a couple participants were left out of my explanation. Quark, for instance, had no connection to the AB Project either, as you mentioned. Why was someone so young and innocent brought into such a cruel environment? Simple. He was brought along for Tenmyouji’s sake. And not only that, he volunteered to come willingly. If Quark had been abandoned on Earth, Tenmyouji certainly wouldn’t have been able to focus on the game. His judgment would have been clouded, and he wouldn’t have been in the proper mindset to play his role in the game. And that would have drastically skewed the results, don’t you think? Not only that, Quark would most likely have died, had he been left alone on a dying planet. He may have been taken into a shelter to protect him from the virus, but the odds would have been stacked against him. The likelihood he would’ve survived is close to zero. As such, he was brought alongside Tenmyouji, in order to increase the chance of success of the game, and in turn, the AB Project as a whole. Does that all make sense?”

Hannah had stood there silently, listening to him speak, but even after such a long-winded explanation, her question had yet to be answered. She understood all of what he’d said, but she still didn’t understand why she had also been included. “It makes sense, but you didn’t answer my question. That explains why Quark is here, and the others too, but you still haven’t told me why I’m here.”

“For the same reason.”

“What do you mean?”

Zero sighed and turned back to his desk, but he didn’t pick up the pen to continue his work. Instead, he gazed up at the wall in front of him, seemingly deep in thought. He opened his mouth to reply, but quickly closed it again. Hannah could see the wheels turning in his head, as if he were trying to come up with a better way of answering her in a manner she’d understand. After a few moments, he spoke.

“Do you remember what you were doing on December 25, 2028?”

The girl paused. “You mean the day I was kidnapped?”

“Yes.”

She frowned, thinking back to the day that started it all. “I was running late to class. I had stayed up late the night before, studying for a test, and I overslept. I finally made it to school, and was about to run to class, but I didn’t get the chance.” She remembered how terrified she’d been, and how she had tried to fight and scream for help, but to no avail. She had been knocked out with the white gas, just like the other participants, and when she woke up, she was in the AB Room. The memory still haunted her. 

“Correct. You were marked absent for that class, and nobody had heard from you for the rest of the day. Your parents called the school after you didn’t come home. It was Christmas, after all.”

Her lip curled and her eyebrows knitted together. “Did you— er… the other version of you, notice that I was gone from class that day?”

“Not in the moment, no,” he said frankly. “I must admit I wasn’t the most observant in my younger days.” He leaned back in his chair, keeping his gaze locked in front of him. “My past self realized it after the fact, but in retrospect, it was ultimately my fault that you were taken to begin with.”

“So then, what does that have to do with why I was forced to play the Nonary Game?”

“You were brought here for the same reason that Quark was. Quark needed to be here for Tenmyuoji’s sake, while you needed to be here for Sigma’s.” The man stopped for only a second before continuing. “Or, I suppose you could say it was for my younger self’s sake.”

“For your sake…?” Hannah could only stare at the old man, trying desperately to decipher what he was thinking or feeling. She was kidnapped and brought to this hellhole and forced to play a cruel death game… for Sigma? She couldn’t figure out what that was supposed to mean.

Zero turned to look back at her. “You still don’t understand? Sigma — my younger self — wouldn’t have been able to complete his mission without you here. You needed to be a part of the game in order for him to fully awaken his abilities and reach his full potential. It’s because of your presence in the game that he is able to jump through time as frequently, and as freely, as he can.”

“That doesn’t make any sense! Why would my being here affect his ability to travel through time? I don’t have anything to do with that, so why would I have changed anything?” the girl snapped at him. “Clearly, you knew he had the ability in the first place, right? So he would’ve figured it out just fine without me!”

“That isn’t true.”

“What?”

“You are correct that he has always had the potential to awaken this ability; I realized this over the course of my studies. With the help of Akane Kurashiki, I was able to fully research the power to jump through worlds and how I could use that ability to prevent the spread of Radical-6 and the antimatter explosions that would throw the Earth into chaos. I spent decades pouring myself into that research, so that I would be able to one day save the world. 

“But I realized something else during that time. Over the course of those forty-five years, as I got further and further into my research, I began to have visions of the past and of the future. Flashes of memories from timelines that I had not visited began to appear in my brain, and then disappear as quickly as they’d come. As I studied more, these short bursts of memories became more frequent and some were slightly more long-lasting than others. I had determined that these were glimpses of the different worlds that my younger self had traveled to. I made note of them whenever they appeared, writing down whatever information I could remember before the memory faded away. It wasn’t long before I began to notice a pattern.

“In many of the sporadic memories that surfaced, you were almost always present.”

Those words hit her like a truck. She wasn’t exactly sure why they made her chest feel so heavy, but Hannah couldn’t ignore the feeling of her heart dropping to the pit of her stomach. She couldn’t even tell what emotion the feeling represented. Without waiting for her reaction, Zero continued. 

“I wondered, at first, what made you so important, and extended my research to finding out whatever I could about you. I speculated that you might’ve had a connection to the espers who’d participated in the past Nonary Games, or that you had been involved with the SOIS alongside Alice and were seeking to take down the Myrmidons. I sorted through every possibility of why you had shown up in all of my past self’s memories despite not having known much about you beforehand. It was odd. No matter how hard I searched, I couldn’t find any important connections that would link you to the project in any way. From what I could tell, you were just an average college student, or you were when the two of us first met. As such, I brushed it aside and resumed the development of the AB Project. 

“The glimpses of other timelines continued as well, and I continued to make note of them. What intrigued me most was that, even though most of the memories I had received revolved around the Nonary Game and the future of the AB Project, there were few that didn’t seem to fit in anywhere with my plans. Visions of my life having taken a completely different path entirely, as if Radical-6 never existed. Memories from worlds where I had continued my college life, gotten married, and had children of my own. Memories that seem so foreign to me now after all these years, but even still, they were memories of a life that I never got to live.”

The old man stopped to exhale, an expression of what Hannah could only interpret as regret read in his eyes, even if the rest of his mannerisms seemed stoic. She debated if she should say something to prompt him to keep going, or if she should wait for him to continue on his own. She decided on the latter, although it didn’t take him long to recover.

“Regardless, it was at that point that I knew there had to be something important about you. And when I pieced together other fragments of memories I had received, I determined that it would be in my, or rather, his best interest to have you participate in the game. That was my reason.”

Hannah blinked. The sudden ending of his explanation gave her a sense of whiplash. After so much buildup, she’d expected more to the answer than just “you seemed important”. In a quiet voice, she asked, “That’s it?”

He raised an eyebrow at her question. “I feel that was a quite thorough explanation, wasn’t it?” The man sighed, “I expected you might not be happy with the answer, but I’m not sure what else there is for me to tell you. I hoped that much would suffice.”

She shook her head. “No, it doesn’t. Why did I show up in your past self’s memories in the first place? And what about that suddenly turned me from some invisible nobody in your college class to a special guest contestant in your fucked up game?”

“You tell me why,” he snapped back. The sudden change in his tone made her jump back a bit, as if she were being scolded, but she recovered quickly enough. “You spent a great deal of time with my younger self in this Nonary Game, didn’t you? So why is it, do you think, that you were such an important piece of this puzzle? You’re a smart girl. I’m sure you can figure that out.”

Hannah thought through the events of the game. Of course, she knew that she and Sigma had spent a lot of time together, and that her feelings for him had only grown over that time. She remembered what he had told her right before he jumped back to the past and her heart ached.

Sigma, when you go back… promise you won’t forget about me?

Come on, don’t talk like that. There’s no way I would forget. I’m going back to fix all of this so that we can all live a better, happier life. And then, I’m gonna take you out on a real date, okay?

She brought a limp hand to her chest and held it over her heart. Her fingers loosely gripped at the fabric of her shirt and her eyes stung once more. It pained her to think about the fact that he was gone, and that she wouldn’t get to see the happier future that he’d hoped for. Maybe in another timeline, he had fixed everything and saved the world. Maybe in that world, they were together right now, living a happy life just like he’d promised her. But even if that were the case, she wouldn’t know it. She was stuck here, in this reality, trapped in a high-tech space station on the moon with no means of escape. She’d never know how things might’ve turned out had everything been different.

“Do you get it now?” Zero’s voice broke the silence, and the slew of thoughts swimming in her head. She nodded slowly, but didn’t give any indication that she was satisfied with that outcome. “He cared about you, more than either of you realized.. Your presence in this Nonary Game was crucial because that was his strongest motivator. Because he had seen countless timelines, with thousands of different outcomes, he understood that this was the only path that he could take in order to protect you. And so, you were brought here, so he could awaken his power to its highest potential. All so he could keep you safe.”

Regardless of if she understood the reason or not, it didn’t fix the hole in her chest. “What am I supposed to do now…?” the girl muttered, her eyes stuck on the floor. Her voice was barely over a whisper, and her expression had grown dark. 

“That is up to you. Whether you want to live your life here or return back to Earth is not my decision to make.”

“Don’t you think it’s unfair…?”

“Hm?”

Her hands tightened into fists. “If your past self really cared so much about me, then why did he abandon me here? Even if he does stop the spread of Radical-6 and save the world or whatever, where does that leave us? All of us here, in this timeline, don’t get that luxury. We’re stuck here forever. We don’t get to go back and try again. We don’t get a do-over. If he knew that was the case, then why did he leave me here to suffer this hell by myself?”

Hannah felt like they were just talking in circles at this point, and it wouldn’t change anything to cry and complain about their situation, but she couldn’t help feeling lonely and helpless. She knew it was selfish, but after everything they’d been through, she just wanted Sigma back. Even if they were trapped in this facility forever, with no hope of returning to their homes on Earth, she thought that maybe it would be bearable if he were here with her. If Sigma had stayed behind, then she wouldn’t have to live with this gaping hole in her chest. Even if the situation were dire and desperate, at least then, she could lean on him and he would tell her that they’d get through it together. She pulled her shaking arms around herself in a last-ditch attempt to console herself. Just as she was about to see herself out of the office, to run and hide in a corner somewhere where no one would see her cry, Zero spoke up again. 

“Do you know why I created Kyle?” he asked. The question seemed to be out of nowhere, and Hannah shook her head, still unable to look at him through her tears. “Kyle Klim, as you were made aware, is a clone of my younger self. His purpose was to serve as my spare, had anything happened to me in the process of developing the AB Project. Of course, he is a clone, but I did raise the boy from childhood, so I suppose his personality may differ quite significantly from my own. But physically, and genetically, we are identical. 

“Kyle was brought into the Nonary Game as a back-up, had Akane ended up murdered by Dio. If that happened, he was to take her place as a participant in the game. There were many timelines where that did indeed happen, and the one you all referred to as “K” was actually Kyle; however, because of my past self’s jumps through time, he was able to prevent that outcome in this timeline, and Akane’s life was spared. Because of that, Akane continued to be a participant in the game, under the guise of “K”, and Kyle was set aside, almost like he was put into storage, in case we needed him.” Zero turned his chair to face the crying girl once again. “Now, in this timeline, where Akane remains alive, we didn’t need Kyle to act as her stand-in. In that case, we could have just brought him back behind-the-scenes, along with Lagomorph — that’s Zero Jr. to you all — in order to observe the game. But there was another reason that we kept him sleeping in the treatment pod. Do you know what that other reason is?”

Hannah wiped her eyes and brought her gaze up to meet his. “N-No… I don’t.”

“You see, I anticipated the results of this timeline. After all, it was exactly what I needed to happen in order for our plan to be successful. I knew that, even if Phi and myself were able to awaken their abilities and jump back to the designated date, that the rest of you would be stuck here. It was, unfortunately, a necessary sacrifice if the project was to succeed. I’m aware that it leaves the rest of you in an undesirable position, and that there’s no way you all would be content with that, but even so, we needed to proceed this way. I knew you, in particular, would be unhappy with this outcome, and so, I kept Kyle on the sidelines as a means of… atoning, in a way.”

“Atoning…?”

“I was always aware that once my younger self’s powers fully awakened that he would have to abandon this timeline, and when that happened, he and my current self would switch places. That’s why, after he made the jump, I appeared here. Akane briefly explained the process to you all in the garden, didn’t she? Once Sigma or Phi makes a jump to the past or future, their consciousness is swapped with the version of themselves that they are jumping to. I made the first jump, once the details of the AB Project were finalized, bringing my younger self here. He and I switched places, essentially. And once the time had come for him to jump back, he and I switched once again.”

“That part, I understand… mostly. But, how is it ‘atonement’ to include Kyle in all of this?”

“As I mentioned before, Kyle and I are genetically identical. While I understand that it isn’t quite the same, I had postulated that if Kyle were here, it would make losing Sigma easier on you.”

“What?” The girl froze, confusion plastered clearly on her face. “You… brought him here… for me?” 

“That was only a partial reason overall, but essentially, yes.”

Hannah took a moment to process the information he’d just hit her with. It felt like she’d been punched in the gut with a sack of bricks. “You…” The concept itself was so simple, but for some reason, his easy explanation didn’t make it any easier to swallow. “Did you think I would just be fine with anyone as long as he had your face?” The words were out before she could stop them.

He sighed. “No, I didn’t think you would be. But it was all I could do to cushion the blow, so to speak. I know that you’re far more faithful than that, and that you wouldn’t come to accept my gesture so easily. Still, it was the only solution I could come up with. You can take it or leave it, of course, I wouldn’t force you to go along with such an idea. I only wanted to provide the option.”

She didn’t even know what to say. While, yes, Kyle had Sigma’s face, she didn’t know anything about him. When she looked at Kyle, she was only reminded of the time she’d spent with Sigma. Even if they looked the same, she could never bring it in herself to leave behind her memories of Sigma. And even if she were willing to do so, would that even be something that Kyle would want? Or would he just be ordered by Zero to fall in love with her, even if he objected? She dismissed the thought with a brush of her hand. That wasn’t an option. To think that he had even considered that she would do such a thing felt wrong; it made her stomach turn. 

But even still, she couldn’t bring herself to be mad about the suggestion. The man sitting in front of her was Zero Sr, that was an undeniable fact, but he was still Sigma. He had been the mastermind of this entire Nonary Game, had kidnapped them all, and forced them to compete in a game that would put all of their lives at risk. She should hate him. She should be enraged that this bastard was just living among them now as if nothing had happened. But despite all of that, she couldn’t feel angry; she simply felt defeated. Despite everything he had put them through, put her through, this old man was Sigma. And he had taken the time to not only figure out the best way to keep her safe through the literal end of the world, but also implemented a solution that would, in theory, soothe her loneliness and make living in this wasteland for the rest of her life somewhat bearable. He didn’t have to do so, but he did, out of consideration for her feelings, because he was Sigma. 

Even if this wasn’t the same Sigma she’d met in passing so many years ago on her college campus and since felt her heart race at the sight of him.

Even if this wasn’t the same Sigma that sat in front of her in class and got in trouble for cracking stupid jokes to his friend next to him while she doodled silly little love notes and daydreamed about what it’d be like if he asked her on a date.

Even if this wasn’t the same Sigma who she recognized immediately upon waking up in this horrible Nonary Game and that she’d been paired up with to solve and escape multiple locked room puzzles with. 

Even if this wasn’t the same Sigma who had made her heart shoot out of her chest when he kissed her in the AB Room and swore to her that he would never let anything happen to her, no matter what.

Even if this man wasn’t the same Sigma that she’d gotten to know over all this time, he still cared enough about her to do whatever he could to make sure she would be comfortable with this life. How could she be angry about that? 

She couldn’t find it in herself to say anything more to him. The girl quietly stumbled towards the door and placed a weak hand against the cold, metal frame. Her body felt drained, and it hit her that she hadn’t slept for over 36 hours. The adrenaline of the game had kept her going until now, but now that the game was over, all of her emotions, as well as her lack of sleep, caught up to her and weighed on her limbs like sandbags. She didn’t have the energy to argue or process any new information anymore. 

Right now, all she wanted to do was rest. 

And maybe, just maybe, she wouldn’t wake up.

[waitingforwinterwinds]

A Clash of Kings - 51 JON VI (pages 665-677)

Jon goes mountain climbing, drops in on some wildling scouts, and gets some story time with Ygritte.

-

"The mountain is your mother," Stonesnake told him during an easier climb a few days past. (...) Jon had made a joke of it, saying how he'd always wondered who his mother was, but never thought to find her in the Frostfangs.

And that's how stories about boys birthed from mountains get started. ... and now I have Monkey Magic stuck in my head.

He could feel the cold seeping off the rock into his fingers, but he dared not put on his gloves; gloves would slip, no matter how tight they seemed, cloth and fur moving between skin and stone, and up here that could kill him. His burned hand was stiffening up on him, and soon it would begin to ache.

Hey, y'all remember when Jon Snow burned one of his hands fighting a wight last book? Cause D&D sure didn't. I do appreciate that characters get not only injuries, but chronic injuries that don't just magically heal over night, even when the resulting healing/scarring/permanent injury is inconvenient. Consequences.

One was asleep, curled up tight and buried beneath a great mound of skins. Jon could see nothing of him but his hair, bright red in the firelight.

Ygritte?

The Valyrian steel sheared through leather, fur, wool, and flesh, but when the wildling fell, he twisted, ripping the sword from Jon's grasp.

Valyrian steel = 🥛

"Do you have a name?" "Ygritte."

Ygritte! ... I've heard book you is a bit not very nice about some things, so I shan't be excited to see you just now.

I did ship it in the show, but I feel like at least a small percent of that was reflective shipping, because I knew their actors had a thing IRL. It's funny, usually reflective shipping works the other way around, people ship actors because their characters are dating. (At least what I usually see of RPshipping)

"Who was your mother?" "Some woman. Most of them are." Someone had said that to him once. He did not remember who.

You don't? Or GRRM didn't?

"And she never sung you the song o' the winter rose?" ... "Bael the Bard made it," said Ygritte. ... "Bael had brought her back?" "No. They had been in Winterfell all the time, hiding with the dead beneath the castle. The maid loved Bael so dearly she bore him a son, the song says... though if truth be told, all the maids loved Bael in the songs he wrote. -"

This feels like a double foreshadow/thematic reference. Bran and co hiding in the crypts, and the song Rhaegar would tell is that Lyanna was so in love she gave him a son, but of course that's how he'd tell it.

Will we ever know the truth? Not unless Bran actually watches from inside Lyanna's head for the "courtship," we'll only see the outsider POV, and we all know those aren't 100%.

Longclaw was not so long or heavy a sword as his father's Ice, but it was Valyrian steel all the same.

Valyrian steel = 🥛

"Do it," she urged him after a moment. "Bastard. Do it. I can't stay brave forever."

I'm sorry but I will forever lose my shit over these moments. Gallows bravery, they can face death bravely, but only as long as the bravery actually holds and it doesn't last forever.

Like Clara Oswald steeling herself and walking to her death "Let me be brave." (Until some jerkass with a great big reset button decided "No consequences actually, not even character growth, all sacrifices mean nothing.")

[merryfortune]

In the Cool of Twilight

Written for the 100ships Challenge

Prompt #17 Twilight

Title: In the Cool of Twilight

Ship: Corrin/Silas

Fandom: Fire Emblem Fates

Word Count: 1,759

Rating: T

Tags: Mid-Canon, Established Relationship, Sad Fluff, Mild Angst, Planned Pregnancy, Birthright Route, Minor Character Death, Grief, Female Corrin/My Unit

   Corrin stood on the lake’s edge with her breath held in wonder. In awe. This place, the Deep Realms and all the draconic realms it shrouded, they never ceased to be of various wonders and endless amazements for her. She stood, feet bare but delicate, in blades of grass so soft they did not cut and dewy already in the cool of twilight. The descending darkness was still pale, with lilac skies and grey clouds, with the twinkle of early stars to illuminate.

   It was beautiful.

   The lake was gentle as it lapped at her heel. It tickled. Corrin giggled to herself as she just enjoyed the serenity. Soaked it up and allowed it to soothe her soul as she tried to let go of the guilt that plagued her and weighed her down like a stone.

   Her heart’s turmoil was tumultuous once more. Running away from home, from all she had known, betraying her Nohrian siblings’ love and trust, it hurt her greatly and caused her heart to bay but Corrin knew that the path that she would tread was all her own. It was right and just. It would be right and just, she would simply have to see it through.

   They would get through the onslaught. The death and the monsters. They just had to bide their time, plead and fight. Take blade but not take blade recklessly. To not cause further suffering but that seemed too large a task for her given how much sadness she had been the catalyst for.

   Corrin already had so much to regret. She… She couldn’t have prevented her Mother’s death but… She couldn’t have saved Kaze either. 

   His death was senseless. She should have done more. She could have done more but until then, she just had to hold on tight. She wouldn’t let anyone else slip through her grasp, like fleeting water running rivulets down the side of her trembling hand.

   She took a steadying breath. It grounded her. The cold water, the soft marsh, the feeling of the wind on her face and the water at her ankle. Corrin exhaled. There would be peace. She promised. 

   Until that time, Corrin had to appreciate the little things. Live for the now. For the feeling of a calm breeze in her hair or the feeling of grass underfoot. The sorts of things she had been denied under her Father’s tyranny and rule. For a happier, more peaceful future, Corrin thought that it would be important to cherish these things for they gave not just her but all her army and all her village folk purpose to live.

   “I thought I might find you here.”

   Corrin turned around, slightly startled but tried her best not to show it, she smiled. The sort of smile that, unfortunately, had tears and crinkles at the edge but her lips did genuinely convey joy as her heart steadied as she gazed upon the man whom she knew she could trust unconditionally and consider her rock.

   “Silas.” Corrin greeted her lover by his name. She always loved how it felt in her mouth. It was a good, knightly name for a good, knightly young man. 

   “I’m not disturbing, am I?” Silas asked.

   He walked closer to Corrin, his armour clanking. He was likely worried that it may not do well for him to stand so close to the water’s edge in his armour but his concern for Corrin far outweighed something so petty as causing metal to rust.

   “No, not at all. I would appreciate the company in fact.” Corrin replied.

   “Thank you,” he bowed his head.

   Corrin bowed her own in return for the gesture. 

   “It’s pretty here.” Silas said as he joined Corrin in gazing out onto the vista in front of them.

   The dreamy skies, the still lake, the way fireflies now floated with their tails lit in a soft, glowing green. It was entirely different to the oppressive darkness that seemed perpetual to Nohr and different again to the bright, sometimes even harsh, landscapes of Hoshido. The Deep Realms were truly their own place, third and other. 

   “It is.” Corrin agreed. “It feels even better in the water.”

   Silas made a face. That was too much like Corrin. She flashed him a fake smile.

   “No, really, it does.” she insisted. “Enjoy it with me. Please. It would mean a lot to me, Silas.” There was the smallest crack in her voice.

   To that, Silas could not deny. So, he kicked off his boots and would just have to risk his greaves to the water’s edge.

   He stepped into the shallow to placate Corrin. He took a breath. He didn’t dislike it. Even if he was accompanied by a strange sinking feeling all the same as he was accompanied by his lover.

   “It does feel nice.” Silas ended up admitting.

   “I’m glad.” Corrin murmured. 

   A pleasant silence fell between them. It was just them and the solemnity of the lakeside, trees without birds and deep waters hiding shy fish. The clouds moved slowly, changing always but slowly. They stood shoulder to shoulder, enveloped in the gentleness of the twilight. A twilight that felt like it could last forever, truth be told, as Silas wordlessly took Corrin’s hand. Their fingers entwined and Corrin held him tight, so tight that he almost had to glance down at her hand to make sure it was human and not dragon, it was that tight.

   “I’m sorry.” Corrin said.

   “We all lost a dear friend and companion today.” Silas consoled her.

   “It shouldn’t have turned out this way. H-He fought so hard for all of us. For me.” Corrin shuddered in her grief, trying not to sob but her tears were hot and welling up in the corners of her eyes.

   Now Silas was the one holding on so tight, Corrin felt as though true iron was clamped over her hand. Her heart raced in her chest and there was little that could be done to cool her head. No matter how still the lake promised to be, no matter how the breeze toyed with her hair. She remained broken up by the death of Kaze and Silas could understand, they had become close friends in what short tenure of being Corrin’s retainers that they had shared.

   “Please don’t blame yourself,” Silas added, “he would not want you to suffer by taking on that blame.”

   “I know, I know, but…” Corrin mumbled and she wiped away her own tears. Her cheeks were red and streaky now.

   “I do know. You have too big a heart, Corrin, you would take up any burden. If you could find a way to blame yourself for floods or for wildfires, I know you would try to take it. It is your greatest virtue and your worst flaw but that’s why we love you, my dear.” Silas continued.

   He allowed Corrin to lean into his body. She rested her head on the arch of his armour that jutted out of his chest. It was as close to his heart as she could be with him on his guard but it was enough. Especially when Silas lifted his arm and half-wrapped it around her, just enough for her to feel the weight of all Silas’ protection.

   “Thank you, Silas.” Corrin said.

   “I love you, Corrin. No matter what.” Silas told her.

   “I love you, too.” Corrin affirmed and she smiled.

   “I will always be there for you and I know you will always be there for me.” Silas said.

   Corrin chuckled, “You sound like you're practising your vows.”

   “I apologise, it’s inappropriate with the mood.” Silas murmured, embarrassed by his faux pas.

   “No, it’s not that, it’s fine…” Corrin said and she lifted her head slightly, so she could meet Silas’ steely gaze. She took a breath. “There’s something I would be remiss to mention, my husband. My own tonally inappropriate confession…”

   “What’s that?” asked Silas, concerned. His hackles rose in apprehension, his brows creased.

   “I… I want to start a family with you so please. Keep writing these vows, I would elope with you in a heartbeat. I want to have a child with you, Silas, a son would be nice but of course, I would be happy with any child - or children - that we would have together.” Corrin confessed, rambly and teary.

   “A son.” Silas smiled, he had to blink away tears. “Or a daughter, I would want a girl to spoil but a son, if he could be a gallant young man, I would be overjoyed.” He hugged Corrin tighter.

   She wrapped her arms around him in response, Silas bent down and she got up on her tip-toes so he could more easily kiss the crown of her head. He kissed her, excitedly, over and over again.

   “I have a name in mind for a son,” Corrin murmured, giddy and miserable in all the same voice, “Kana.”

   “Kana.” Silas said as he pulled back and he thought he got the hint but he allowed Corrin to explain.

   She looked like a beam of moonlight as she smiled up at him with the explanation of this name on her cupid’s bow lips, “I want Kaze’s memory to live on. His family holds name in such high esteem and whilst I think Saizo would not approve if we were to have a child named Kaze, perhaps something similar, for us to know the true meaning of, would suffice. If you don’t mind.”

   “Not at all, Corrin, I think Kana would be a wonderful name for a boy. Or even a girl.” Silas said.

   “It would, wouldn’t it?” Corrin agreed with half a breath of laughter, “But if we had a girl, I would let you name her, of course.”

   “Thank you, Corrin, I will have to look through the archives for a fitting name then.” Silas said and he nuzzled against Corrin’s face, nose to nose, their warm breaths intermingling, “But first, we must start trying for a child at all, then?” His voice turned husky, it sent a shiver down Corrin’s spine.

   “I suppose so.” Corrin chuckled, feeling perhaps a touch seduced, even through her grief.

   “Let’s take it slow,” Silas told her, “take all the time we need to heal, to find a safe place…”

   “Good idea, thank you, Silas.” Corrin replied.

   They slowly let go of one another. Not fully, of course. They remained holding hands as they decided to retire for the night as the last of twilight had faded and night had set upon the Deep Realms. 

[libidomechanica]

Are you that

A treochair sequence

               1

She knew not how; for still I think time is mind—our heads were left with hard

oppression. At night, alone, I marry the bed. You that Psyche, but

what are sounds from that breezy shade where meditation was. ’ Said their days

in peace, are the ladies of your lips are animals? My faith rewards

my love for you and name you bastard in my mouth—your touch upon them

will not read the riddle, though hell should you though, Madam, you should a blockhead

ha’ one in ten, for why should be wroth to spoil his sons: and Now,

’ she cried, ye are grown, and there be, if more there ran too, too late, either

may create the burden light. Afflicted by my kindness, that loveth

thee? Are you that Psyche, both in one? When she I love you and my will,

but for shame, to save thee to the sky; fairer than these, and leaning up

a cypress tree? Never forgets, but as truly lov’d never in the

undergrowth. Are you that Lady Psyche, ’ I rejoined, the fifth in line

from that title doth disproue, that makes me laugh to see me write your name upon

the softer Adams of your Academe, which bore my love, though fortune

has so sorely bruis’d, would still with her heart was still aching heart, that

makes me want to draw you out from that old Florian. Discussed a doubt

and tost it to and fro she paced through an interstice caught, of a crowd

of workmen and women are like a thought that my wing’d ship may meet no

remora. Lifting there but the first conceit of him that beat double.

               2

To unsluice a tear; but yet your prudence, dearest Lady, pray you fear

me not, nor think I bear that I shall be back with the incessant

miseries of mine? At night, though in thy stores’ account I one must be his:

her eyes grew wide for a moment; she drew a long slow honeymoon. Was

turn’d when he rends up his load. The fresh arrivals of the warm Love in!

And I broke with sad impatience with too much disdain; lest sorrow lend

me words and with an inflated foot, Philoctetes in woman’s hand.

Who will forgive me, Sir, but often on this change alike, but it’s

unlikely Like does diddly. Little think’st thou, poor flower were lost in the

absent night. Once, in some old Catoes brest, churches or Schooles are full

of cares to come. The boy beside your feet, and glean your scatter’d thro’ the

region wide: they cry The Babe! That our night of woe might dare repeat the

same and I as a noble gas floated free of attachment. Whether

by a single couple puts together, speaking in the stirrups.

Reverted back to the Rust Belt. Good manners, answer ere she told me that

has flown away from causes or gotten away Out upon the main,

and tranquil muse upon the lock, a rosy blonde, and in the castles

shadows, where the bee hums by us with those calamitous years she

lingered in the body. ’ Siller will come nae mair to thy heart convey

so still, and when a boat tacks, and the Potter’s ass, find shelter of lies.

               3

By all they’ve taught and knots of worthless stone- crop started out along the

hedges or the kite that I am is grafted here so long like a

light. And comfortless, the wild game of her infant at her pillow stood;

and, being made of four, with two tame leopards couched beside the well? Then

let not your praise, richly compiled, reserve their ray was turn’d a foe in

hope to get our store: and by thy pure hand; but when thy feet fluttering

barge, least ioy, by nature grow: but she, most cold, made him the Sprite, whom maids

by night oft meet in her throne, all beauty and yours must ransom me. If

vaine Loue haue that Stella is that very time, I yet remembered lessons

he had taught the track of his babes and without pity till this is.

               4

She must dig the level where the mournful sweetness skies above the Danaid

of a leaky vase, for fear this whole self once to me did bring, to

wash her, water from the lake, and nothing happy wilt in that inly

feels; who with his mind prints his owne liuely forme in rudest braine. And yet

I rise hearing behind her; but all the northern downs in clearer air

ascending me into the quiet tomb, our bed to reach the fruite of

Nature sweare he cannot yet unwish thy dear merit? Holy was bound

up with the yellow gold before the door I found himself near, that height,

knowing delight, slow saddening round we saw the hardships of that so, some

future; everywhere, as heaven to gaudy day denies. From natural

order of the mountains discoloured and God of all future good.

That clad her like an out-of-tune worn viol, a good New Yorker and work

hard, have it not said thy edge should a blockhead ha’ one in ten, for

why should that be kind; nor shall spurn as vilest dust the worldly bustle,

to my shame I speak of him, the Incomprehend the door for only

a few special legend or God to refer to, I think good thought of

vengeance had survived.—For oh, her lanely nights are lang! Displaces

other words; crowds, cuckoo-like, endangered hatchlings from the dying moon,

all shrink away, a desert planted o’er with a silken hood to each

man loved and prized in his arms; the cottage bent my way, beneath her breast.

               5

I met a lady in the wet and sweet- briar, offers to the west,

and offred’st straight, though more weak in seeming; thy shrine, thy grove, thy truth, thy

constancy, and, to enlighten to refuse your only way, my small

inheritor and hand you off, trembling if I open the whisp’ring

roof a brooklet, scarce could merely comprehensible! Garments shewed

the Soldier’s life. And as this road again ere on its sunny bank the

princes tried to get our store: and by thy deep kindness, oaths of thy mind,

where the bee hums by us with inmost terms of art and science, and

thaw, and rain was sapped; and when a boat tacks, and they aren’t afraid of

clichés and the hill, the highwayman came riding—riding—the red rocks

grow cold and Philomel becometh dumb; the rest—turning round, and truth

in every shepherd’s home. Faith, ye’re no unwrought for, baith kirk and queir; yet,

by my faith, like spotlesse Ermine, ly safe in my breath finds you gone. Have

flow’d as if for Moses and the rank spear- grass on that tranquil muse upon

a rock, catches his shrieks in cups of gold, or all the garbage. Far

grass tips wave, bend, flow. This beam must rear ourselves to such a height no thought,

may quickly loathe; and, looking from the court a long while amid the noises

of coming out her little think’st by hovering on untamed wing!

               6

Whence follows? Arrived within it, features once so beautiful amid

the uneasy novelty he blended where so long, but in the heat

and cold, the sun went down, and time has thrown us free under the Outward

Form of any Story an Inner Meaning lies—This Story now

complete, a bottle almost sad? And I shall command the uses of

my eye was one to sound the softer Adams of your praise, richly compiled,

reserve their place knew that it will, and distant a few steps. The Lady

Blanche. You will not pass. He spake with Of her gown to keep her safe.

               7

A foreign film sans subtitles, fall like. Lie, ever singing thought I

was stricken to the socket. Are mercy, pity, and pearls of a love

or thy dear Converse submit, since this demurre our sute doth stay, let Vertue

and Love! Against his failins, ’twill please me mair to thy life permit. They

wear The Crucifix as they are rich and ransom all ills else, as from

me; all Ear from just; till warming with edge- tools! Grows old. I will not pass.

               8

A beggar and they might grow to use and power on this subject Lute!

Riding—riding— the highwayman came riding, up to the west, and now

delighted found a ruined walls that sun themselves where we have sate

together with a safety pin to give him quiet, my faith rewards my

love is come to thee, that an acre hath beene when with awaken’d eyes?

The cottage fades before, without a blush, and that shuns Love, doth love himself

near, that he lived she knew not that hapless year had been piled up against

his waist, and binds her down for his daily work till they will remember

what I would not nap or lie in sleep without redound of use and

glory to yourself’s decease, when your books and fishing tack. Ever in

the dark inn- yard. And feeding is allay’d, to-morrow to mine own torn

hair, bedabbled with something sweet. And thou with orient eyes dawnest

on my distrest, until he can a Maiden win. On vain Philosophy’s

aye-babbling be with Stellas rayes, reason, there’s no dream to

overslide, or be so straight to save a prince, a brother by choice or common

weal, the fading politics of mortal Rome, as I might slay this

cheek, where a soundless curl of white told me a wave had an enjoying.

               9

He spake with your eyes; and all else pales beside the door. Lord grant that the

truth so foul a lie! I do confesse pardon a fault confest my mouth—

your touch upon the river, there were not such as chanted on the back

of your first days. I sweare, my heart you moved among its playthings. Sweet fruit.

Through lectures at tender feeling what we can say I am Ra who

drew from his natiue place, and bow and accept the night little babe was death

at every shepherd’s home. I love thee, dear. Found the typing of the man

she loves, if young or old, or rich or in the impotence of grief and

sighs behind the wrinkled on your kirtle, and stars, through the sedge, my sister.

But you will, you may go: today the touch of human hand disturbed

behind the cloud thou break, to dry the rain on my storm-beaten face, forc’t,

by a tedious proof, that Turkish hardned heart is a kitten of

butter, I am blowing through stately theatres benched crescent

brows; abate the burden light. For if thou belied, bear things in passing.

You heard us? And saw such dreadful things astray, and high o’er her face;

let eares heare speach which wit to wonder ties; let breath is six days long.

And maist thou said hi to me near Mercer St I probably tried to be

a Jew. I know ere this the cold, cold earth- wanderers never grieve me;

for I have heard her sad and gone ere Robert come at noon, whilst through heartache

or lazily fondled the milder air. A tale of silent croak.

               10

In a silver litanies, the invisible line pulled taut that which

I forbore— thy touch upon the other two, slight air and pursuing

the lightsome day our remote. Why didst thou promise such a pleasing smart,

and yet there is no change is my invention, with many pleasant now

than when he ended here, and on the wall. And Hoigh for the fear—the fear—

the fear—the fear of sleeping. And dear is sister Psyche, and whom I

sought in the absent frae her Dearie! Except for movement somewhere beneath

our coverlid of snows, and that, in guess, they aren’t afraid of clichés

and through the wild stag she flees away, to naturally lying like

religion but it is not cold, but branches made more soft and distorted

therewith his whip on the lover’s sigh. North through the serpent then

has Love becomes a Virgin bright; then her mournful sweetness of your eyes.

               11

Even as when first I hallow’d thy fair health, my bonny sweetheart, I’m

after a storm want to know the facts. To whom this cottage fades before;

for the fond believing lyre, when these delight, shattered her baby form,

or wrap her in his arms; the cottage; at his door. Though natural comfort,

and thy assistance all this reft house by frost, and offred’st straight to choke.

               12

Pushed her hands are cut off and no one answered, who could they both wander

in terror and distress: a wanderers by mad ears believed be, that

makes him weary. Daughter. A thousand hearts, now so good too soon and quickly

loathe; and, looking round an earthly cot, full fillèd all with gems and gold

which he by industrious man, sober and steady; the owl from this

excus’d I to resign thy dear Converse submit, since thou art cruel; do

not know, when other accents do this, since all things in passing. If that

nest and lowly camomile and thy cheeks unprofan’d by a tear.

Like the night of the west, and two dear to me as is the wind was a

gypsy’s ribbon, looping the departed call the knock-kneed broom instead.

               13

To tell, but in good truth I’ve wanders weeping far away, until he

can a Maiden win. Of a young apple- tree whose boughs are bent with the

hope that some days I spent wi’ thee; i’ll seek nae mair to thy bower-door,

to tell, but my father Adam first was fool’d, a case that’s finished. Been

ceaseless, as thy gentle roar? That in that beauty of thy perswasions

prooue, I sweare, my heart. Jessamine, rose, and let me pass untold, though it

was in his face and power on the early spring; I left her busy

wits to me a paragon. And forget who I am. And thus,

my Love! I am spread his bells from side to see: why should a blockhead

ha’ one in ten, for why shouldst thou thyself, who did this to me? And

sweet; the earth will swing us, as she goes, beneath her breast in the mountains

steep by steep; and in my heart more easy, and I sigh. But this is

an institution bed. The court chemist mixing her obeisance, let

us meet; long time I had before his sight, the tidings of which sourly

robs from my mind, that it both pains my heart so strong at my breast wears

there are maidens clad in skins, raw from that loved a lady in the dark

No more be grieved at the side of our meeting. And o’er this rhyme is penned,

whose earthy top is tricked with laurel, issued gorged with faint rainbow.

               14

’Twill please thee hold that no pace else their lives. I should be like toes. Finding

the eye. Wine comes over me, my only books were woman’s force. Whilst through

waters and weeping, spread out. My spirit affords. A resurrection

unto ye; and to myself, He hears that nest and lie, ever since I

was a child a few things, to yield with a voice obedient to the

day, then look for me by moonlight, that our love or fret at all that paddles

in a halcyon sea. Earrings. Over the next hours happiness,

with all the lost body over me; and to myself, I seemed she loved

her as my own rage little Female Babe does spring, but sorrow’s fall.

               15

Up, brightens o’er her face and she’d never die. Those paths so dear to me.

Shall light thee clime the Muses filed. Before two streams, and I could never

forgets, but as truly lov’d never in the midnight hours; the joyless

day how dreary: it was na sae ye glinted by, when I kissed her breast!

               16

In woman’s love! But thou may aye inheritor and hand you were your

voice kept sounding, for long in dreams are eerie; and oh, her dreams within

these questions busy with her garden stole, when those many shadows, where

you can get nachos. Flower, electric, chemic laws, and a look that

secret spirit of humanity which, one upon the rock, and a

dark red love- knot into her mother, is she well? Either may create

the burden light. In my rose-wet cave— whatever men were taught: let them

not. Had dared to leap the rotten pales of prejudice, disyoke their caps;

you are these agree. But yet you were their rotten pales of prejudice,

disyoke their glorious dreams, and sing, by my faith, ye’re no unwrought for,

baith kirk and queen went to sleep. Finding the winged Psyche true! Thing old, thou

mine, I thine, even as when a mother caught the king bit the heat of

dusty fights as he bestrode my Grandsire, when others tost a ball above

the fowl from the latch would lift, and in my arms, which I gaze on so

fondly to- day, to-morrow, ere that Psyche, Ah—Melissa—you! And

it seemed she loves, if young or old, or rich or poor; they soon drive out the

heart of stone! Your owling eyes, my fragile visitor. Which three till now

never kept seat in one. Even at her table gave me, and I loved

her as my own sad steps, and a genital fire, transformed by delight.

               17

Dares stretched beneath the sedge is wither’d to its root; the bark was nibbled

round and near the sunlight fails and fishes shelter now with my babes, and

smiling faintly make a dent for yourself again and against his face

such easy chearfulness and alone, and sees within this cottage fades

before he died, last human tenant of the Sprite, whom maids by night oft

meet in her right, that loves his mistress weel, nae time hae I to tarry:

I ken thy frien’s try ilka means frae wedlock’s bed, in a’ thy station.

Roses grew forming a great work, we purposes of wisdom oft has

sought that my eye in her heart, that links them both. Than our man’s earth; a chain

of straw chequered there; thus far for love my privacy into

another’s breast; and when a dog passed this wretched days had passed, and very

soon even of the hollow except for three years to come to his babes

and with something more; be wise and bread I broke the waur bestead, thou’s be

as braw and bienly clad, and smoothed a petted mood and a prince got through

many a vacant pang; but O with me, Sir, but often on this

conditions: promise otherwise you perish as you trouble like liquor

or aspirin. He plants many a snatch of merry tunes that had a Psyche

true! Whisper evermore her eyes, her lips do this, give my dead picture,

till my wiser mind sinks, yielding to talk again. Shot sidelong

daggers at us, a tiger-cat in act thy bed-vow broke and oak.

               18

One in ten? Across a bare wide Common I had reached the crying of

credulous hearts, I thought of vengeance had survived. I would she lean, and

the princes tried to be a Jew. Does him to the God in Heaven. Of

a new-fall’n year, Whose white blaze and thyme—had straggling leaves lay scattered stars,

through thou dost despise. Within her eyes full of care makes summer trees, when

being fool to fancy i have dreamed of the porch that rivers rage and

rocks grow cold and Philomel in summer ere the bee hums by us

with our restless lie frae e’en to morn though he be dead! Wine comes over

me; and wilt thou leave me thus, that makes me laugh for America and

New Yorker and work hard and play hard or play at all. Of soldiers going

to a distant Sea tells us of silver fleur-de-lis; because

only my love away. Where you can. Hearing young charm of blushes o’er

this can tell: that wheeling baskets start back. Life like chance to travel forth

without the sequel, but I go. Sleep, my pretty one, sleeps. And sighs behind

the dead and glad to see me write your name upon the soft sea-sand.

               19

Has not Love’s whispering tree, and hopest her still. Here lies a brother!

[yanderefairyangel]

What about Rafal for the character ask ?

Alright, tsundere depressive yandere dragon let's go ! (since this one isn't numeroted either I'll just pick the numbers)

My first impression of them

Oh he looks so cute ... he is gonna betray us isn't he ? I played tons of horror game, you can't fool me.

When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

When he said "What you think possession is an excuse ? No way, I did this, I take responsbility"

My favorite ship of them

Rafalu and Rafal x theraphy

Your least favorite ship of them

I will preserve you by not naming any of it. Really. You are better of not knowing what he is put into.

A quote of them that you remember

"You...Why is it only when I want you not to wake up early that you do it ?!" (I am sorry, I promise)

Your favorite outfit of them

His default outfit is fire.

Your least favorite outfit of them

Lythos uniform. No wonder his diary entry doesn't have him wear it unlike the 3 other dragon, it's just too innocent and pure for him... plus when he wears it his neck grows bigger, its uncanny.

Describe the character in one sentence

You need therapy.

What’s the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

Whoever is the person who said that... congrats... those are my exact thought, each time he opens his mouth to say something I fell the urge to grap some salt, holy water and call an exorcist

Your favorite friendship they have

Well, I'd balance between Nel and Alear but he and Alfred are absolute agent of chaos.

Best storyline they had

His redemption arc

Worst storyline they had

The Fell Xenologue. I mean come on, it did him so dirty, guy deserves better.

A childhood headcanon

His original outfit looked like that

Had he not taken Nil's place he would look like that

What do you think their first word was?

The name of his twin sibling (cause I am heartless)

How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc)

I think he was a bit similar to how he is now, except less cold and a bit more open, especially once he met Nil

The most random ship you've seen people have with them

Well, aside from Alear I haven't seen too many of that.

A weird headcanon

His tail pop up whenever he is moody, dragon stone or not

When do you think they were at their happiest?

Somniel once he is allowed to be himself. And the end of his A support with the Engage cast.

When do you think they were at their lowest?

Fell Xenologue, need I say more ?

Future headcanon

He totally doesn't sacrifice his life to save the world and die, even without Alear.

What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

That the sweets he baked for Alear in his A support were something he did of his own, he wasn't forced to do it, he actually made them to thank Alear but because he is Rafal he would rather die then admit it

When do you think they acted the most ooc

The Fell Xenologue.

When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

In his A support with Gregory, B support with Alfred and Alear. And in all his support with Nel.

If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

Vanitas. Definetely. Rafal is just a less well written clone of Vanitas except he loves sweets, I can perfectly picture Rafal saying the infamous sentence :

Other then that and probably less like a therapy buddy, Quatre from Grandblue Fantasy. Both have the best design ever and a neesan who is their twins (yes I know Rafal is just her younger half sibling)

Or Break from Pandora hearts because they are both sweet loving grandpas with suicidal tendencies, red eyes and white hair. But Break would get on Rafal's nerve because of course, Break would tease him.

The most unnecessary thing they ever did?

The Fell Xenologue.

How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?)

I can perfectly see him being stressed out about being a good father especially seeing WHO is his dad but really, don't worry Rafal, anyone would be better then this dude.

And he would give feed his kids with sweets. Tons of it. Just try to picture a tsundere dad.

The funniest scene they had?

Either the "What is wrong with this man moment" either his A support and wake up event with Alear.

[miraculouscontent]

Hi, Adrien is handed things on a silver platter whereas Marinette has to work for them.

First thing’s first is just the concept of the love square. Chat Noir gets to interact with Ladybug no matter what because they’re heroes. Ladybug - who carries the weight and responsibility of heroism without getting benefited from it - is required to go to every battle due to her purification ability, and Chat Noir of course is going to show up because he loves both flirting with Ladybug and the freedom of being a superhero.

In addition, Adrien got his miraculous by helping Master Fu up (something that would be expected out of any semi-decent person; by the way, yes, I know the “””significance””” of the action, and it’s silly), whereas Marinette saved him from being hit by a car.

Adrien was allowed back in school with still no explanation from Gabriel (especially since he’s Hawk Moth) as to why he thought it was a good idea to send his son to a school where the very first akumatization had happened. It was Adrien’s goal for the episode alongside making friends, and Nino offered him friendship out of pity when Adrien sulked about how Chloe was the closest thing to a friend he had.

Chat crushes on Ladybug because she stood up to Hawk Moth in a speech dripping with confidence, caught what seemed like hundreds of akuma, and came up with a plan quick enough to save Mylene and Ivan from falling to their deaths from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Marinette (who Chat fell in love with one side of first, mind you, so already this is to his benefit), meanwhile, crushes on Adrien because the narrative gave her a falsehood about him never having any friends (i.e: no Chloe) and he gave her an umbrella while he was ten meters away from his actual ride (like with Fu, again, any decent person--).

Chat’s crush on Ladybug makes things harder for her because it causes him to throw tantrums mid-battle, get distracted and distract her because he’s busy flirting, all of which make her feel guilty for not returning his feelings. Marinette’s crush on Adrien makes things hard for her again because it causes her to embarrass herself while virtually everyone who knows teases/mocks her for it, their opinions of her even being dragged down due to the crush (see Alya with the Lila situation).

Chat is shipped with Ladybug by Parisians everywhere and Alya delighted in taking a picture of them kissing (that got posted on the Ladyblog without Ladybug’s consent). Likewise, the other LadyNoir kiss (that Ladybug had to do to free Chat from Dark Cupid’s control) was shown on live TV for all watching to see. Marinette’s kisses with Adrien, however, were either wiped from the timeline (in which Adrien got to keep a secret from her so he could date “””Ladybug”””) or used to humiliate her because Adrien was attempting a prank.

Ladybug realizes that Chat is in serious about her, not because he told her himself, but because he relayed it to Marinette who happened to be Ladybug. Marinette, on the other hand, has spent 3+ seasons attempting to confess her feelings to Adrien or make advances on him, all of which ended in some form of failure and some of which through no fault of her own.

Chloe shoved her in “Bubbler” (Adrien didn’t even check on her) and then Nathalie crushed the note she’d written on a scarf that Marinette put tons of time and effort into, leading to Adrien thinking it was from his dad.

“Copycat” was accidental and came on too strong, requiring its deletion.

She got distracted by Alya and forgot to write her name in “Dark Cupid,” her letter only further solidifying Chat’s crush on Ladybug.

She kept getting interrupted in “Gamer” after Alya chided her for using the event to get with Adrien (despite Alya doing the same thing for Marinette during the film in “Horrificator” while Mylene was MIA).

She wasn’t able to tell Adrien about Lila’s thievery in “Volpina” because the grimoire had to remain a secret.

The hat in “A Christmas Special” got given away within minutes and then not even brought back on-screen by Miraculous Ladybug (Adrien never even thanked Marinette personally for it).

Kagami came out of nowhere to take the fencing spot in “Riposte.”

Deciding not to make schemes only led to her embarrassment in “Gigantitan.”

She got made fun of and the notes all conveniently looked the same in “Backwarder,” leading to her mixing them up.

The macaron for Adrien (that Marinette would prepare every week) never got eaten by him and ended up causing the akuma after Chloe had emotionally manipulated Marinette into scheming with her.

Practicing on a statue (as per Tikki’s advice) in “The Puppeteer 2″ humiliated her when Adrien revealed himself as the statue.

She was embarrassed during the party in “Party Crasher” because she was pressured into dancing without her consent.

The timeline had to be reset in “Chat Blanc” and she had to lie to her friends that she hadn’t given Adrien the gift even though she’d actually succeeded, while the hat she made just for Adrien got written off as a gift from a random fan (which is an even worse fate than the scarf).

The confession in “Felix” was deleted by Felix himself before Adrien could see it.

And Adrien, meanwhile? Ohhhh boy, lemme tell you about Adrien.

He gets put into suggestive/close positions with Ladybug on many, many occasions, all for “free.”

He got a kiss from Ladybug in “Dark Cupid” that, remember, got photographed and put on live TV.

He got to goad the audience without consequence about he and Ladybug potentially being in a relationship eventually - gaining the knowledge that all of Paris was invested in LadyNoir to thoroughly stroke his ego - and then Ladybug had to act like they were a couple in “Prime Queen” to the point of holding Chat’s hand and saying that they were in love.

Likewise, “Glaciator” featured Ladybug having to act like a couple with him again, now to the point of kissing his cheek, and then Chat got a blush from her after he’d spent a good chunk of the akuma battle pouting that Ladybug didn’t come to the date he set up (that she hadn’t even known was a date because he purposefully withheld that information) despite her telling him that she’d have to see about it because she had plans.

He was reassured in “Anansi” on being “irreplaceable” after he made an unnecessary comment about being replaced by a turtle (Carapace).

He got to carry Ladybug around bridal style and also save her in “Sandboy” and “Reverser” respectively because she was rendered essentially useless without him, then got to save her again in “Frozer” after giving her the cold shoulder for rejecting his feelings.

He’s the one who got told by Marinette’s own parent not to apologize for how he feels in “Weredad” (note that Marinette herself never got this talk from Sabine, nor Tom, which very much could’ve prevented “Crocoduel”).

He got a cheek kiss from Ladybug in “Desperada” after getting to undo the very-much-against-the-rules identity reveal he made to her via Second Chance.

He got to look good in “Gamer 2.0″ when Ladybug was seeking advice from him despite the fact that her and Chat’s situations hero-wise are absolutely, completely, 100% different and he didn’t even try to take that into account.

He got Ladybug resting her head on his shoulder because of what she saw in a deleted time in which he - unbeknownst to her - lied by omission.

A fake Ladybug tried to kiss him on two separate occasions, “The Puppeteer 2″ and “Ladybug,” much to his delight (something to note is that the fake Adrien who went after Ladybug in both “Chameleon” and “Felix” tried to force themselves on her).

He got the “jealousy” moment from Ladybug in “Heart Hunter” and then a hug from Aquabug in “Miracle Queen.”

He received no repercussions for taking Ladybug out on a date (that she wasn’t aware was going to be a date) in “Gang of Secrets,” at best having to apologize for her behavior to the people around them.

He got reassured that Ladybug “couldn’t do this without him” in “Guiltrip,” even to the point of being told that she “probably doesn’t tell him enough.”

He got told by Ladybug that she would never abandon him in “Hack-San” because he was guilting her sulking about how his not knowing her identity would mean that he’d never see her again if she left him somehow.

And before you think this only extends to the romantic aspects of love square, let me tell you now that it definitely doesn’t.

Marinette entered the bowler hat competition and had to defend her own work to the judge.

She ran for class representative and had to earn the trust and faith of her class in “Darkblade” when put up against Chloe’s bribery.

She did whatever she could to make sure Juleka got her picture taken in “Reflekta.”

She had to actually craft a pair of glasses suitable for Jagged Stone in “Pixelator” and then make a gorgeous album cover for him in “Guitar Villain.” (note that this partially led to “Troublemaker” where she was just happily wanting to advertise her parents’ business, and the writers multiplied her Adrien pictures for the sake humiliating her when it was caught on live TV)

She had to work to get ungrounded by improving her attendance in “Simon Says,” because she had been busy being a hero.

She worked to try and get Nathaniel and Marc to get together on a project, knowing it would be good for both of them.

She set up an entire celebration for her bully to try and make said bully feel good about herself in “Malediktator.”

She did Kitty Section’s designs and costumes in “Silencer” and then had to go protect them from being stolen, along with her friends’ music.

She had to wear multiple miraculouses in “Kwamibuster” in order to go against Kwamibuster and get back both the ladybug earrings and the cat ring.

“Gamer 2.0.” Just... “Gamer 2.0.″

She made a whole complex lockbox to protect the Miracle Box in “Gang of Secrets.”

She worked to reach out to Zoe in “Sole Crusher” even after Zoe trashed her in front of the school, going as far as to try and comfort Zoe’s akumatized form.

She had to stand up for the movie to be fixed in “Queen Banana” because no one else would.

She has to work each and every akuma battle as Ladybug, figuring out Lucky Charms that can range from simple to complicated, while simultaneously dealing with a partner who relies heavily on her plans and will occasionally make things harder by either throwing tantrums mid-battle or distracting her.

And meanwhile...

Chat Noir got to throw the blame onto Ladybug for Theo’s akumatization in “Copycat.”

Marinette covered for him in “The Collector” when he was the one who recklessly lost the grimoire by not being careful with it.

He got handed Fu’s identity in “Syren” after whining to Ladybug, throwing blame on her and trying to bribe Plagg so they’d tell him, threatening to quit while Paris was underwater, and all of this while Marinette herself only got to meet Fu because she had the grimoire on her.

He was given the moral high ground in “Malediktator” despite not having to actually care about Chloe enough to call/check on her.

He got to sit back in “Chameleon” and not concern himself with judgment or comment on the situation with Lila, even going into “Ladybug” where he continues to inform no one about Lila (including Marinette, who briefly believed that Lila came to her senses and was willing to make amends) after Lila got Marinette expelled, despite the complete lack of risk on his part considering who his father is and how harshly Lila would be dragged through the mud if she dared to trash his reputation.

He clumsily trips in “Captain Hardrock” in a fashion that reveals an instrument he happens to play, leading to him getting invited to join Kitty Section within seconds of being on the Liberty. (so when Adrien is clumsy, it’s to his benefit, and when Marinette is clumsy, it’s to her detriment)

He never got called out for distracting Ladybug and digging for details that could relate to her identity in “Kwamibuster” (which, again, forced Marinette to do all the work to fix things).

He got a party thrown for him in “Party Crasher” by Nino, and also guys that Adrien had never put forth effort into interacting with or befriending (Marinette had also been through more with all of them sans Nino).

He got to force Ladybug’s favorite traits of his out of her in “Truth” because she was under the influence of Truth’s powers.

He got off the hook for sacrificing himself in “Lies” by flirting about Ladybug’s “irresistible angry little pout,” and also never got repercussions for flirting with another girl while dating Kagami.

He never had to face consequences for smashing a chimney in “Sentibubbler,” even as he was dismissing the gesture because he knew Miraculous Ladybug would fix it.

He didn’t have to apologize for his behavior in “Hack-San,” whereas Ladybug "had to” for telling someone else her identity (the details of why - i.e: that she was having a mental breakdown and needed a release from it - being completely left out) and not telling him that she was leaving (when she literally hadn’t had time to tell him anything; do note as well that Adrien didn’t have to do the same in either “Backwarder” or “Startrain”).

He received no consequences and was in fact rewarded for allowing the akuma in “Wishmaker” to hit him, a choice that Viperion has to live with because it caused him to see both Ladybug and Chat’s identities (meaning now Luka - someone who, like the guys in “Party Crasher” - Adrien has done virtually nothing for - can support Adrien since he knows).

And I could go on, I really could, but my point is that Adrien is given all of the sympathy and sad points while Marinette basically never is. Just like how he was born swimming in money, fame, and adoring fans, the show hands out praises and all the things he’s ever wanted because he’s sad.

He doesn’t have to try. He can whine and complain and vent to Plagg about how “replaceable” he is because the show will mollycoddle him to the moon and back. They’ll put his crush on Ladybug’s shoulders to make her feel guilty while Marinette is over here having to bust her butt just for a chance at Adrien recognizing any semblance of her feelings, and he goes on being blissfully ignorant of them so he doesn’t have to suffer like Ladybug does.

In addition, Marinette has to either be “““making mistakes”““ or embarrassing herself in order to get screen time because the burden of lessons fails upon her, whereas Adrien can be name-dropped without even doing anything.

It’s not just the love square that’s unbalanced, it’s everything between these two. Ladybug is scolded and punished for the slightest act of selfishness while Adrien is encouraged and rewarded for being selfish and demanding things. Marinette has to work to be noticed (and sometimes won’t even get that much) while all Adrien has to do is put on his best sad face and the show will bend over backwards to either give him exactly what he wants or make him the sympathetic one through the narrative.

Even if Adrien had known about Marinette’s crush at the time that Ladybug knew about Chat’s, it wouldn’t matter, because the tipped scales in how they’re treated would still make it so Marinette is the one at fault for “dumping her feelings onto Adrien” while Ladybug is still forced to interact with Chat even if his advances make her uncomfortable.

[besanii]

I need to know what caused Wei Ying to finally initiate a physical relationship with Xichen. Was it for Lotus pier and what the empress said? He does seem to have some feelings towards Xichen so did he not mind it bc of that? What does Xichen think about this whole thing ahhhhhhhhh so many questions. Sorry Lan Zhan cause ngl I ship them

[ part one (LWJ) | two (LXC) | three (WWX) | four (LWJ) | five (NQY) | six (WWX) | seven (LWJ) ]

[ follows on from six ] 

Alive.

The word washes over him like a wave, bringing with it a rush of joy and relief—his brother is alive—that lasts only a heartbeat before the significance of the news comes crashing down.

His brother is alive.

An arrow to the shoulder, the report had read. Knocked overboard in the heat of the battle and disappearing under the churning waters; for days they searched, picking through the bodies floating amongst the debris long after the Dongying forces had retreated. 

They found him, a day later, half-drowned and delirious with fever, unable to fight. News of his death in battle spread as he lay in his bed, one foot already through the gates of Hell and yet still strategising, planning, during his brief moments of lucidity. Conscious enough to know that they can use his perceived death to their advantage.

And indeed with the loss of Gusu’s greatest commander, their enemies pressed them harder, forcing them to cede waters they had previously held strong. Little did they know they were being lured into a trap, one that would decimate their fleet and end the battle once and for all.

“And how is Hanguang-wang now?” Lan Xichen asks. Only years of experience keeps his voice tightly controlled and his hands relaxed as they rest on the spacious desk before him.

“Replying to Huangshang, Hanguang-wang asked this lowly subject to pass on the message that he is well and not to worry,” the messenger reports. “Hanguang-wang has also said he will stay on to fight until the war is won, as is his duty as the commander of the fleet.” 

As a brother, Lan Xichen knows he should recall Lan Wangji from the front lines, allow him to return to Caiyi to nurse his injuries. As Emperor, if his best commander reports he can continue to fight and his staying on increases their chances of victory, then he has no reason to refuse. As a man—

He tells himself the rush of relief that courses through him at the news is because his brother is well; he does not allow himself to entertain the other reason. It is too shameful to admit, even to himself.

In the end, the Emperor wins out, as it always does.

“Very well,” he says finally, pressing the tips of his fingers together as if he is giving serious consideration to Lan Wangji’s request. “We will grant Hanguang-wang the right to stay, as reward for his loyalty.”

--

He does not call on Chenghuan Hall.

He tells himself it is to give Wei Wuxian space in the wake of such momentous news, to allow him to process it fully in his own time without the added pressure of Lan Xichen’s presence. It is a flimsy excuse, one he knows does not fool his Empress at the very least, whose knowing looks and raised eyebrow has his insides twisting with guilt and shame like a child caught stealing treats from the kitchens. So he avoids her palace too, and seeks refuge in the Imperial study until late in the evenings.

A whole month passes where Lan Xichen does not allow himself to see Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian does not send word to him either.

He wonders if he’s left it too long, whether Wei Wuxian would be upset or angry at their situation—at him, for putting them in this situation. If it is too late to show up now, after a whole month of silence, and try to make amends. 

Fortunately—if one could call any part of this fortunate—the decision is made for him when Wei Wuxian himself walks into the Imperial study one night and kneels in the centre of the chamber. Lan Xichen watches dumbly as he prostrates himself, forehead pressed against the tips of his fingers on the cold stone floor, his hair loose and unbound, spilling over his plain white robes, the very picture of contrition and penance.

“This lowly concubine pays greetings to Huangshang,” Wei Wuxian says, his voice loud and clear in the quiet of the study. “And humbly seeks your forgiveness.”

“Wuxian...” Lan Xichen begins hesitantly. He breaks off, looking around at the eunuchs stationed around the study with their heads bowed. “You may leave us.”

It is only after they file away, closing the double doors behind them silently, does Lan Xichen allow himself to cross the chamber to where Wei Wuxian is still kneeling. He hurries to help him up, grasping him below the elbows, but is met with resistance as Wei Wuxian stubbornly keeps his head and shoulders bowed.

“Wuxian,” he says helplessly. “There is no need for this.”

“This lowly concubine dares not stand until Huangshang has forgiven me for my transgressions,” Wei Wuxian replies, still in that formal, wooden tone of voice Lan Xichen has come to know too well. He sighs.

“It is cold tonight and you are barely dressed. You will catch a cold walking around like this,” he tells him gently, softening his grip on his arms. When Wei Wuxian still refuses to budge, he sighs again and tilts his face up with two fingers under his chin. “There is nothing to forgive, you have done nothing wrong,”

There is confusion and wariness in those grey eyes as they finally meet his, two emotions he had hoped never to see again.

“Huangshang is displeased with me,” Wei Wuxian says quietly, tightly, as if he would fall apart if he raised his voice. “Ever since the report from Jinghai. Huangshang can no longer bear the sight of me, now that Lan Zhan—” he bites off the name with a pained twist of his mouth.

Lan Xichen recoils as if struck. He had known the nature of their relationship before his brother’s departure, and their plans for his return. But hearing his brother’s given name, such an intimate address used so freely and without thought, is a stark reminder of what he had done. Who he had taken.

Wei Wuxian knows it too, from the shudder that runs through him as he exhales, and the way his hands curl into fists in his lap.

"This lowly concubine does not dare presume he has any right to beg forgiveness for putting Huangshang in such a difficult position,” he continues, the barest hint of a waver in his voice. “I only wished to let Huangshang know that he does not need to trouble himself over this any longer.”

There is a ring of finality to his words that immediately catches Lan Xichen’s attention.

“What are you saying?” he asks warily. “Wuxian—”

Wei Wuxian shuffles backwards, putting enough distance between them so that he can prostrate himself once more, touching his forehead to the floor.

“This lowly concubine begs Huangshang to grant me the death penalty.”

“No.” 

The word forces itself from Lan Xichen’s lips before he even realises he’s spoken, a spontaneous, visceral reaction full of hurt and fury beyond his control. For a long moment after, he cannot speak around the vice clamped tight around his chest, squeezing the air from his lungs. Wei Wuxian replies, but his voice is only a faint murmur against the blood roaring in his ears; he cannot see his face to read his lips, but Lan Xichen already knows what he will say.

“You cannot ask that of me.” The words rasp painfully against his throat. “I will not be the reason for your death.”

Wei Wuxian raises his head and Lan Xichen freezes at the sight of the tears in his eyes, the same hurt, the same helpless fury colouring his cheeks and knitting his brows.

“And I am not willing to be the conflict that destroys the relationship between brothers,” he cries. “I cannot—I will not do it. Huangshang. You cannot ask that of me. Please do not ask it of me.” 

He lowers his face to the floor once more.

“This lowly concubine is only alive today because of Huangshang,” he says, voice small and trembling but with an undercurrent of steel. “I should already be dead. If Huangshang grants me the death penalty now, it will only be putting the situation to rights once more, and Hanguang-wang will be none the wiser upon his return.” 

Lan Xichen reaches out a trembling hand toward him, but stops short, hand hovering just above the top of his head. He cannot ask this of him. As a brother, and as a man, he cannot do it. As an Emperor—

Almost as if sensing his indecision, Wei Wuxian raises his head, leans into the palm of Lan Xichen’s outstretched hand and smiles as those long fingers mould themselves reflexively around the curve of his cheek.

“This lowly concubine will never forget the kindness and affection Huangshang has bestowed upon me,” he murmurs. “So if there must be a sacrifice, please let me make it in your place.”

--

TBC (yes I have just decided there will be a part two to this)

--

buy me a ko-fi!

more paper-thin fic | verse

--

Notes

Such drama! Much angst! 

Sorry this took much longer than anticipated, mostly cos I’ve been devouring ancient Tezuka/Fuji fics and falling back into the ancient Tenipuri fandom in the past couple of weeks. So, uh, don’t be surprised if my next thing is Tezuka/Fuji instead (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

[mrskurono]

title: Monstrous Hospitality || Naga!Makki x fem!Reader

a/n: now I’m not saying Makki brings out the worst in me I’m just saying I’d like to fuck him in every possible way including a monster au.

word count: 3.4K

tags: monsterfucking, dubcon ish (just to be safe), tail fucking, tongue fucking, size kink, cervix fucking, creampie, fingering, oral (fem receiving), mind break(?), breeding kink, unedited

character(s): Takahiro Hanamaki (hq) 

heavy nsfw undercut ⇾ ⇾ ⇾

Roiling waves behind you. Creak of broken boards left when you found this cave dipped into the landscape of the beach. You sought shelter as much as you sought another face among the wreckage.

Your heartbeat pounded in your ears. Drowning the crashing water outside the cavern. Leaving you to not much else but your frantic thoughts.

That noise itself was trumped by the insistent drip of water from the stone walls encasing you. Each tick of the sea water into numerous puddles around you set your nerves further on edge. Even the breeze from deep in the cave sent chills skittering up and down your spine. On guard you saw something move out of the corner of your eye when there shouldn't have been anyone but you in here. Perhaps your prayers of another survivor had been answered.

Clasping a hand over your mouth to keep all incriminating noises dampened. Every fiber in your body wanted to survive but also not be alone. Breath held and teeth clenched you fixate your gaze off into the murky cavern trying to see if your eyesight was betraying you or not. 

"You're awfully far away from the shoreline...."

Your own hand over your mouth instantly gripped too hard on your own cheeks when you spun around to the unannounced voice behind you.

Immediately you gasp at the familiar sight of another human form among the rocks, "You! Are you from the other ship that cra-" 

Your celebration cut short. Regretfully, as the man once leaning into a boulder was a fleeting comfort to your frazzled nerves. It was soon stripped from you as everything from the torso up happened to be the only thing familiar to you. Instead when this stranger stood up your words choked in your throat. 

Lips curled into a smile that would be considered charming had the rest of this creature not rippled with scales when he descended down to where you were. Panicked and looking around, you took a step back. 

This wasn't a human. Face of a human but the very body of a beast. 

You couldn't tear your wide eyes from the way the massive rippling muscles of his tail-like lower half moved him to you. A slither closest to a serpent as he came winding down to you. Fixated on you and you alone as no one else could have been mistaken in this cave for an intruder. 

At first from across the cave he appeared to be comparable in size. Now though as he loomed over you with a charmed smile on his lips. You felt the stomach knotting dread fill you that this inhuman creature stood nearly three heads taller than you. For as panic stricken you certainly seemed. This cave dweller didn't say anything about your clear terror.

"You're looking for survivors?" A bend in his body. He leaned down so the two of you were eye level. Still though you couldn't bring yourself to look away from his scaly lower half. Hard not to comment on your rudeness he finally straightened back up and crossed his arms over his bare chest when you didn't answer the simple question, "That's awfully rude you know?"

"W-What-?"

"Barge into my home and then staring like I'm what doesn't belong." He moved forward. 

You, in an attempt to keep distance between the two of you, did just what your body told you to do. Which was step back. Poorly calculated as your foot slipped on the wet stone underfoot. Before you could brace for the impact of falling. You found something warm and thick curling around your waist.

Ready to scream when you saw his tail wrapped around your waist. You got put to the ground with less roughness than if you'd fallen flat. But still his gesture to set you down knocked the air out of you. Leaving you to accept it as he came to sit next to you. Reclined into the rock. And staring at you. His intent gaze making you not move.

"Were you part of all that ruckus outside my home earlier?" His thin brown brows arched up, "It's quite rude you know."

"I- I didn't-" Mouth full and like your tongue was suddenly made of lead, you couldn't form a real coherent thought. Which only seemed to amuse the scaly creature, "The crash was- I'm so sorry I didn't know this was your home- If you let me I can leave- I was just looking for others and I-"

Dribble out of your mouth really. Cute and amusing. He listened with little intent to hear what you said. Instead his narrow eyes focussed on what was your heart, beating so fast he could see the flutter of your pulse on your neck. Much quicker than the drip of the sea water off the stone walls around you two. He watched your heartbeat give your fear away as the drip around you became louder and louder.

That same tail that had caught you suddenly wasn't as gracious now. He draped his scaly lower half over your lap. Watching you squirm under his heavy tail. Your hands no place to be put but held up by your breast as you attempted to not touch him. Finally his simple smile turned into a crooked grin. 

"That was an awfully big crash outside...and in a storm like this," He shook his head with a simple click of his tongue, "Don't think it would be very safe for you to run out back into it."

A gulp. You look down at his winding tail. Watching and feeling as the tip of such a monstrous appendage came curling around your ankle. If you were to run now chances were he'd trip you instantly. Trying to calm yourself with a shaky breath. The thought of calm was dashed when his tail didn't simply just curl around your lower leg. No. Now you felt the ripple of scale covered muscles move up your leg. Encroaching on your thigh but when you looked over at him next to you all the monster had to do was offer a friendly smile at you.

"Weary little traveler...caught in storm and all alone," As his voice dipped lower, so did his tail until the tip strayed against the inner most part of your thigh. Heat from your core felt against the serpentine's tail. He leaned back into his arm right next to you and watched as you tried to avoid eye contact with him at all costs, "...big bad monsters will eat you up if you leave now...best you stay safe, with me."

For as quick as your heartbeat had threatened to pop from your chest. Now it relocated. Much to your disdain. When the tip of the creature's tail brushed up against the crotch of your panties. You'd been so focused on trying to calm yourself that when his tail finally reached its destination the contact caught you off guard with a little gasp.

Against better judgement you tried to get up with such a jolt, "I really should be-" 

"What? Going so soon?" Yanked back down. But not where you had been sat beforehand. This time the creature was not subtle in pulling you down on his lap. Even when your breath hitched in your chest it was only for a meager second, "Stay. Have a meal with me even weary traveler....It's not often I get company."

"I should really go out and help I can't-" Your weak willed reasoning fell on deaf ears.

Much like the way his tail invited itself to your body. His broad hands were doing the same thing as he kept you pinned to his lap. Causing you a shudder feeling what could only be described as one fluid ripple of his scale covered muscles moving under you. Like he simply was getting comfortable. 

"You haven't even learned my name yet...and I've been such a gracious host letting you stay here," His lips, a stark hot contrast to the cold sea air, made short work of your nerves as he brought them against your ear, "Nor do I know the name of my little guest...won't you tell me your name?"

Lump in your throat hard to swallow. You felt something else uncomfortably hard but it was dashed from your mind with the way his tail rubbed itself unabashedly against your groin. Legs forced to be splayed on his massive muscle riddled lap. And wrists being gently held to your side by his hands. You were stuck.

 "....y/n....m-my name, that's it-" You couldn't control the prickling goosebumps finding their way onto your skin with the way his breath tickled your ear. Perhaps if you played his game, then you could leave unscathed.

A grin curled on his lips. He lifted his face away from the crook of your neck but not once let go of your hands. Never mind the way his tail grinded between your legs leaving you with an ever growing fog creeping up on your mind. Your heartbeat no longer thudding in your chest.

"My name might be a little hard for a mere human to pronounce....but," His words stopped just in the same time your breath caught in your chest as the tip of his tail slipped past the fabric of your panties, "...I suppose you can call me Makki."

Clear as day what his name was. It didn't matter though when the tip of his tail slipped past your folds. Soaked as the cavern walls from the teasing, Makki's tail slid inside your cushiony walls with little resistance. Making the beast chuckle deep in his throat.

"My my," Lips finding your neck again and his grip on your wrists loosening in the same breath, "Seems like my hosting has really taken your mind off all this terrible weather and those scary monsters out there."

Nothing short of a croaking moan left your lips. Consumed by the way his tail curled up inside you at angles you weren't even familiar with even from the most skilled lovers. The smooth feeling of his scales only lending to delving deeper in your cunt as your juices coat him. A fullness like none other. Where it should have burned from the stretching sensation was quickly washed over with the way his tail swiped over your velvety walls.

"F-Fuck-" All that could make it past your gasping lips. Head tipped back into his chest and eyes half lidded. You could hardly tell it was a monster if you looked at him like this. Only his charming smile in your field of vision as his tail began moving in you once more.

"Human's feel much different than other naga," Makki grinned down at you. Watching his own tail violate your cunt as he finally let go of your arms. With the way you gripped his sides under you he had no fear of you running away anytime soon. Leaving him to explore more of your human body.

Of course the monster's hands found your breasts. Squishing and tugging at them until he began rolling your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. Quite enticed with the way the hard buds looked in his grasp. Forgetting the work of his tail until a new noise came from you. 

"Oh?" He chirped pleasantly at the sensation of muscle tightness around his tail, "Did you cum already? I wasn't watching, a shame."

Pulling his tail from your insides. Makki examined the wetness covering his scales. Giving it a sniff before flicking his tongue against the little gift you left him. What he found was more than just a palatable taste. Instead he licked his tail clean before looming over you with his hands gripping your thighs.

"A real meal!" He exclaimed with two fingers being pushed inside you before you gathered yourself or your thoughts, "This tastes much better than anything in this cave."

Still reeling from your previous orgasm. When his fingers pushed inside your cunt there was no way you could recall running away now. Instead you grabbed for something to stabilize yourself with his exuberant fingering. Finding no better handle than reaching back behind you to loop your hands around his broad neck. Beast leaned over with his bare chest pressed into your back. Holding onto him was the best you could do as every fiber in your body tingled with immeasurable pleasure.

Reverberation of his pleasant hum in his chest. Makki didn't thrust his fingers inside you much. Only dipping them down to his knuckles and twisting them around until they were soaked in juices. Just to pull them out and slather his tongue in the fresh taste. The half a dozen times he did it left you panting and thrusting your hips up into him for some kind of relief of the knot growing in your stomach once more.

Frustrated with just small tastes he was getting on his fingers. Makki finally had enough. Instead he pulled his fingers from you. Some sort of a whimper in protest but that was cut short from your end when he lifted you up from his lap. Reminded in a second how small you were in comparison when he lifted you above himself. Mouth full of teeth and wide open sent a fearful thought racing through your mind. 

"No wait please- don't eat me I-"

Quickly thrown aside when the row of teeth weren't the intent at all. No when his lips made contact with your cunt it was his tongue that quickly slipped inside you. Squeaking moans leaving past your lips as he held you above himself like it was nothing. Twisting and writhing his slippery tongue inside your cunt. Makki just refused to wait long enough to lick it off his fingers. As a guest it was only within your right to offer him something tasty in return.

"M-Makki! Makki fuck-" Forgetting even the moments before when his tail already stole one orgasm from you. With the way his tongue massaged every inch of your twitching cunt in an attempt to drink you dry meant the beast was leading you right into another orgasm. Legs twitching and fist fulls of of his short cropped brown hair. You couldn't squeeze your thighs together hard enough for him to stop. Instead the hungry beast lapped wildly at your core until suddenly your screams echoed to the back of the cave as you came once again on his tongue of all things.

His tongue only slowed when your grip loosened and your labored breathing became shallow. Makki pulled his tongue from your folds. Licking up what he could from his lips and cheek as he sat you back down on his lap. Unlike before when the smoothness of his belly scales was all that you felt. Something wet prodded the inside of your leg. In a sort of daze when your weak legs spread further apart on his lap you caught a glimpse of something red in contrast to the creamy paleness of his underbelly scales.

"My look how excited you've made me," Makki smiled down at you. Like before his tail was coming up to greet you. But unlike before you found it didn't stop at your legs. This time the broad muscly appendage recurled itself around your waist, "You took my tail so well...lets see how well humans breed."

Lifted once more. This time not higher than it took for him to adjust you on his lap. Your body still on fire even after two orgasms. Craving more and you hand no idea how when you felt as limp as could be. You could only hold onto his chest for your own sake as Makki moved you on his own whim.

The same sliminess. Now closer than just your thigh. Instead it slid up your soaked cunt lips. You gasp the second his cock head brushes against your clit. A sensation reminded after he hadn't touched your sensitive bumble once. The lewd  reaction bring on a grin to the monster's lips.

Wordlessly the enormous monster guided you onto his cock. Hotter than anything his tongue or tail could produce. Your insides felt like they were melting as the thick knot like base of his cock finally sunk down in you. The twitch of his inhuman cock against your cervix. Certain his cock was pushed all the way into your stomach at this point. You couldn't help pant and grab at the monster's chest as he let you rest on his massive cock for a second.

"You tasted so good....I see why we eat you," Makki's lips brushing against your parted ones. The pleasant fucked out look on your features were adoring. Much like a little pet. He peppered your face in kisses as his massive body began forcing you to move up and down slowly on his girthy cock.

Mind fuzzier and fuzzier with each orgasm. Now when your legs splayed apart on his lap. Cock lodged deep in you with some oddity to his knotted cock bumping your deepest parts. You felt like you were suddenly loosing your mind. Forgetting all about the ship wreck or looking for other survivors. All you could see was the charmed smile in front of your face as Makki guided you up and down on his cock.

"F-Fuck- I- I can't take it-" Your head droops down. Hardly able to keep yourself up as he does most the work and your body just tightens around him. Each time you were pulled down on his cock and it felt almost like too much. Everything was eased with the way your clit grinded against his scaly underbelly. Sending ripples of pleasures through your body and allowing you to take every inch of his cock in your little human cunt.

"Shh you're doing so well," Praise falling from the monster's lips. His own breathing quickening in pace. Coming deeper and more ragged as he moved you up and down his cock quicker. Thankful you were doing so well because he wasn't sure how careful he could be with such a little thing.

Drool leaking past your lips. All you could see was him in front of you. Forgetting the cave. Forgetting everything before this. Consumed by the feeling of Makki's cock stretching you out. Feeling like it was getting bigger and bigger. You had no idea it was as he began thrusting into you harder. Fucking you with each time he pulled you down into his lap. Adoringly your hands cupped his cheeks. Wildingly bouncing up and down on his cock unable to help it. You were loosing control once more.

"Shh not yet....shhh just- just a little more-" Makki's words law. His thrusts growing ragged and his chest heaving in short breathes. You stared up at him in fucked out bliss as his brows pinched together and he loomed over you. Suddenly he was much less scary in the moments his hips shuddered under you.

An inhuman throb inside you. Not once had you noticed how larged his cock had grown until the monster held you down on his cock and the gush of hot flooded your senses. Just the swelling sensation of his eerily hot cum spurting inside you was too much to deal with. Body trembling your legs try to close but his broad lower half keeps you spread and impaled on his cock. 

Makki knotted thrusted deep inside you as your third orgasm washes over you. Twitching and spasming around him so hard that simply the amount of cum filling you overflowed around even the bulb of his cock keeping you connected to him. Finally it was all too much. Robbed of every last ounce of energy. You drooped into him. Feeling the monster's cock pump his cum inside you. No idea how much he'd fill you with. Nor caring. 

The familiar sensation of his tail curling around you once again. This time with his hand coming down to stroke your cool cheek in an almost sweet gesture. You couldn't move. And you couldn't be bothered to move atop his enormous body. Makki had simply been right all along. It would have been too dangerous to leave the cave. You had no idea the monsters lurking out in the storm. At least in here, you understood the monsters were friendly.

[justfangirlthingies]

The prince of lies (Loki x reader)

Soulmate AU: Every time your soulmate lies, their words are permanently written on your skin

Word count: 3140 Words

I think this is the last Soulmate one that I have on Wattpad as of right now

Father is dead. Your banishment... The threat of a new war...it was too much for him to bear. You mustn't blame yourself. I know that you loved him. I tried to tell him so, but he wouldn't listen.

The truce with Jotunheim is conditional  upon your exile

Mother has forbidden your return

This is goodbye brother, I'm so sorry

Perhaps your senses have weakened after your many years of service

I'M NOT YOUR BROTHER I NEVER WAS!

I don't know what happened on earth to make you so soft! Don't tell me it was that woman?... Oh, it was. Well, when we're done here, maybe I'll pay her a visit myself!

You're not

(etc. more lies)

Lies...

Every single one of them. How did you know? Well, because they were printed all over your body.

Every single lie your soulmate ever told up until now graced your (s/c) skin.

How was a liar like that supposed to be a soulmate for you? Someone you could trust?

Yes, your so called soulmate would never be able to lie to you, for as soon as he tried the lie would appear on your skin. Had they only been some minor white lies, that would've probably been fine by you, but looking at the severity of those lies you could only shake your head in disbelief and sorrow for whoever had received those news.

Now ignoring the fact that those statements were lies, there were other aspects that made absolutely no sense. Those you had already researched quite a bit . Jotunheim for a start was a mythical place and the lies stated that apparently the liar and his brother were not from earth, which was complete nonsense was it not? Otherwise he had to be some kind of alien.

You were interrupted in the middle of your thought-process.

I missed you too

A new lie, gracing your forearm. Though this one seemed rather small and harmless, this man was still lying through his teeth and you had to carry every single one of those lies. How often had you been asked why your body was full of lies. Yet you never had an answer to those questions. He was your soulmate, even if he was a liar he had to be good somewhere, right?

Aliens and beings from other worlds did exist though. Thor the god of thunder and the events of New York city. Did they have soulmates as well? They had to, otherwise the statements on your features made even less sense.

But who?

Who would lie so much?

The thoughts in your head kept floating around as you got ready to meet up with your friend Anthony.

You started walking to a nearby park. Your usual meeting point, as you felt yet another familiar tingle. Pushing it to the back of your head in hopes of ignoring it, you kept walking towards your friend and hugged him "It's good to see you" you smiled but only got a confused stare in return "What?" "You uh...got a new one there, a long one." A sigh escaped your lips at the reply of Anthony. "Well, where? And does it at least make sense?" Your friend just shook his head as he took a picture of the lettering on your collarbone "No, but here. Maybe you can understand some of this. It looks like sarcasm this time." He gave you his phone to look at the picture. Great another one.

Wait? Sarcasm? One thing you had to give your soulmate credit for were his snarky remarks, at least those sometimes put a smile on your face. You zoomed in on your collarbone as you read what was engraved on the previously clear space of (s/c) skin.

You know this is wonderful! This a tremendous idea! Let's steal the biggest most obvious ship in the universe and escape in that! Flying around the city, smash it into everything in sight and everyone will see it! It's brilliant Thor! It's truly brilliant...

Thor?! You could not believe your eyes. Whoever your soulmate was knew Thor. It was a shock and a relief as well. If he was friends with this god he couldn't be so bad, could he? You did however, question why Thor would spend time, let alone steal some kind of spaceship with this person.

"I see. I can't say I understand what it's about, but whoever this liar of mine is, seems to be friends with Thor..." The words left your mouth as you handed the phone back to your dear friend. The two of you sat down on a wooden bench underneath a tree, but when you heard Anthony speak up, your mind went blank "He could also be Thor's brother, doesn't that one lie a lot?" It took you a few moments to fully comprehend what he meant "No, that'd be impossible, that man is sitting behind bars for the rest of his life. Besides, that guy is evil. My soulmate could never possibly be a bad person." that last part was a lie. Your soulmate was a liar, he could easily be a bad person, you just hoped with all your might that he wasn't"

■ ■ ■

"Trust my rage" the god of mischief spoke. Just as he had finished his sentence he felt a tingle on his wrist. A rare occasion if it was a real lie, usually it was just a sarcastic comment which most of the time he enjoyed quite a bit. These sarcastic statements often caused a small smile to appear on his face, the few nice moments that made the time in his cell more bearable, not only did he find them funny and witty, they also stood for his soulmate, for someone that was destined for him and also that he was a perfect fit for whoever this soulmate was. He looked at his bare wrist expectantly, waiting for one of the snarky remarks that his soulmate had spoken to appear. When it did appear though, it broke his heart. His cold expression fell for a second as he looked at the writing on his wrist. Quickly regaining his cold exterior before anyone would notice. It was too late though. His brother had seen the trickster's face falter just in time and he had also seen what Loki was staring at. Before the raven-haired could pull his hand back he felt it had already been grabbed "Let go of me Thor!"

"Brother, just let me see!" Thor replied loudly, he wanted to know what this was about. Loki looked away in shame as he let his brother read what his soulmate had said. My soulmate could never possibly be a bad person. As he finished reading he loosened his grip on the other's hand, allowing Loki to finally pull his hand back "I'm sorry" he muttered. "They think I'm a monster too..." The black haired god whispered as he sat down in the small ship, his stone cold exterior dropping by the second. Was a soulmate not meant to understand? Was there really no hope for him?

"Loki..."

"Stop it. Don't pity me for something that's my own fault!" he screamed. He just needed a moment to calm down.

■ ■ ■

"How is this possible? How do I deal with this? I can't just ignore it can I? No" before you knew it you found yourself in front of a massive building. Stark tower. Your (e/c) eyes stared at the monument in awe, but you soon shook your head in order to resume your task. "Enter the tower and talk to the avengers on how to communicate with Thor. You have to do this because Thor knows your soulmate..." you repeated in your head as you entered the building...

...or so you thought.

In the blink of an eye you were consumed by light and gone from where you stood. Was that some kind of security system Stark invented?

Your eyes fluttered open just to see some old man on a throne before your sight went black and your body dropped to the ground unconscious.

■ ■ ■

"Are you certain Heimdall?" the king asked, looking at the unconscious human, who was now dressed to fit the Asgardian culture. He was inspecting some of the tattoos on their body "You were right they definitely are his soulmate. Though they seem to be a rather honest person, for Loki does not have as many markings on him. As far as I know at least"

What were they talking about? Who were these people, why did they speak of you in a connection to Loki, it made no sense. None at all. You tried to look like you were still passed out.

But apparently you failed in your acting. "The human is awake" a different voice spoke. Maybe it belonged to this Heimdall person.

A sigh of defeat left your lips as you opened your eyes. You tried to take in your surroundings when suddenly, your eyes went wide from the sensation on your skin.

You sighed as you waited for the writing to appear on one of your upper arms. "Oh boy this is a long one" You muttered underneath your breath, but it seems Odin had heard, for he raised an eyebrow as his eyes followed your gaze to your arm which you had uncovered from the strange clothing you were dressed in. The king had taken a hold of your arm to read your words.

You really think I cared about Frigga? About any of you? All I ever wanted was you and Odin dead at my feet! Malekith! I am Loki of Jotunheim and I bring you a gift! I ask only one thing in return, a good seat from which to watch Asgard burn.

"Fools!" Odin shouted.

Meanwhile you thought your eyes were about to pop out of their sockets as you tried to comprehend the meaning behind those words. The only thing you could focus on however, was the name etched in your skin. His name. Loki.

Your thoughts were interrupted when the Allfather spoke up again "Send guards to Svartálfheimr and retrieve my sons! Bring the Aether back if it's still there!"

His sons?

It was at that moment. Realisation hit you like a bus. You were in Asgard and this man before you had to be Odin then. Your brows furrowed. Why were you here? How did you get here?

"Come. You must have many questions." The king said as you got up and followed him "I am Odin of Asgard. Tell me child what is your name?" "M-my name is (Y/n) (L/n). How-how did I get here?" you stuttered as you looked around still walking. "I gave orders to bring you here" He replied casually.

■ ■ ■

The Jotun prince laid on the ground panting as his brother cradled him in his strong arms "No. No, no, no. Oh, you fool, you didn't listen." "I know." Loki spoke, his voice quiet and weak "I'm a fool. I'm a fool." he gasped in pain. "Stay with me, okay?" The god of thunder spoke close to tears as he pat the other's face to keep him conscious. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" the young god apologized gasping for air but he was quickly shushed by his brother "shhh...it's okay" Thor nodded as tears welled up in his blue eyes. "It's all right. I'll tell father what you did here today" He spoke again the tears now making their way down his cheeks. "I didn't do it for him" The raven haired spoke calmly. As he took his dying breath he spoke his last words "Tell them, I didn't want to be a monster" Just like that the god closed his eyes and went limp in his brother's arms. "NOOO!" Thor shouted in pain and hugged Loki. "I will find them and tell them in your stead brother" He whispered into the other's ear before he let go and left with Jane. Loki's limp body was left in the sand and dirt.

■ ■ ■

"I take it, you know who your soulmate is,  judging by your reaction. It must certainly be hard to carry all the lies of the god of mischief and lies" Odin raised his eyebrow. "I have heard quite a few stories about him indeed." You replied taking a sip of your tea. You were seated in the throne room across from Odin as he tried to answer some of your questions.

In the middle of your conversation a guard entered and as soon as he spoke up you felt a burning and tingling just underneath your chest.

"Forgive me my liege. I've returned from the Dark World with news. " The guard spoke.

"Thor?" Odin asked with hope. The guard dropped his head a bit at that "There was no sign of Thor or the weapon, but..." As soon as the man spoke up again the tingling began once again in the same place as before. "What?" the Allfather asked.

The tingles continued "We found a body."

Silence filled the air for a moment before Odin spoke "Loki"

The guard just looked at his king with sad eyes. The burning had stopped. "Thank you. Bring this one..." The old king pointed at you "...to Heimdall. Tell him to return them to Midgard. Then you may be dismissed for the day."

Your chin dropped as the guard nodded and turned to you. Oh now you were definitely not going to tell the god that Loki was alive and lying. He grabbed you roughly and brought you out of the throne room and to another room, the room you had woken up in. "Gather your belongings mortal before you return to Midgard." Midgard? Was that what they called earth. As the guard was about to close the door you shouted after him "Mister guard man! Wait!" He raised an eyebrow at you, seemingly amused, but he waited for you to speak nonetheless and so you did "Loki can't be dead." He stared at you confused "Well he is."

Another tingle. This time on your finger, but you ignored it for now seeing as you were focused on the conversation you were having "No. I don't think you understand. I-I know he is alive. I can feel it." A small smile was placed on your lips as the man before you began to laugh, he seemed curious though "And how would a little mortal like you know that? Oh you feel it, of course"

"I-I don't know how I know" That was a lie for you did know why and how "I just know." You finished, he seemed distracted though. While the guard was distracted you took a moment to look at the side of your pinkie finger. "No." You mumbled when you realized the man before you was your soulmate, disguised as a guard. "What?" The man asked. "Nothing" you lied, a small smile on your lips. You were scared yes, but he wouldn't hurt his own soulmate, now would he? "Would you please come in and close the door Loki?~" You asked innocently.

His eyes went wide, confused as to how a simple human like you could look through his disguise with such ease. So he complied. He didn't really have a choice now. As he closed the door, he dissolved his disguise. Green smoke surrounded the man as Loki the trickster god stood before you now. He was stunning. Yes there was a deep hatred for this man inside you, but he did something good today and you hadn't met him before. Well not personally, you had however seen him on TV as he tried to take over the world, you had heard he was under some kind of mind control though. "You are a curious little thing, aren't you?" Loki spoke as he approached you "Who are you and how did you know it was me mortal?"

You grinned "I'm no one important to you" Your smile widened as you noticed him being distracted again. You watched in awe as your statement appeared on the back of his hand.

The black haired god stared at you in disbelief "No...no no no no. How? That's not possible" Before you realized what was happening he was already too close for comfort. He grabbed one of your arms and shoved up your sleeves. Perhaps your senses have weakened after your many years of service. Disbelief filled Loki's eyes as they pierced your own gaze. He let go of your hand as some kind of hatred but also hope filled his eyes "You hate me. You think I'm a monster." He spoke with clenched teeth. He was trying to compose himself, to seem calm, but you easily looked through his disguise. "I do not" You replied, your (e/c) eyes were soft as you looked at him. He stood there, waiting for the tingling and burning somewhere on his pale body. But the feeling never came. You had been truthful. "I know better than to lie to my soulmate." The words escaped your throat before you could even think. "Why did you say it then?!" The god growled. "Said wha-" The mischievous man cut you off "My soulmate could never possibly be a bad person" he quoted your lie "what changed?"

"I-I" you were speechless "I said that, knowing that anyone could be my soulmate, I tried to convince myself to see things positively. I did not know it would affect you as it was about soulmates in general. I am sorry for causing you pain Loki"

"So you don't think I'm a bad person?" he asked, turning your words around "I do know of the bad things you did. You tried to take over my home. I cannot confirm that you are a completely bad person though. I-I don't know you well enough to judge. For I try to build my opinion when I get to know people myself, even if this person is the prince of lies. Besides, you can't be too bad if you are my soulmate, at least not towards me" You grinned, reaching out your hand for him to shake "I'm (Y/n) by the way."

Loki looked at your hand, a smirk on his lips as he held your hand in his and brought it up to his lips to press a small kiss against the back of it. His eyes never leaving yours as a blush took over your features "It is a pleasure to meet you (Y/n). My name is Loki and I do not think I'll send you off to Midgard just yet, if ever..." The last two words were not meant for you to hear but you did. "Before we get to know each other better my soulmate~" he smirked "I have to take care of my father and brother." He turned around and walked towards the door "You stay here for now" the man winked at you before he turned himself into the guard again and left the room.

[kashimos-hajime]

twenty questions (7/8) | r.b.

summary: No, he refuses to lose someone else. Not again, not you. Never fucking you. Or, after four years, Reiner meets you once more.

WARNINGS: angst, just conversation, a bit of violence, mentions of trauma, children ummmmm yeee, jean also appears <3 true king pairing: reiner braun x fem!reader word count: 8.3k

a/n: reiner returns!! welcome to the penultimate chapter and thank you for being on this journey with me :) again, song is not mine! it’s the wellerman sea shanty hehe

masterlist

crossposted on ao3 x

Morning streams through the curtains.

You part the billowy white fabric, pushing open the window breathing in the late morning air. As always, it’s warm and ripe with the aroma of the fresh bread from the bakery you live above, and as you lean on the windowsill, you hear the door below you chiming with new patrons. You smile to yourself, resting your chin on your hand.

Even still, you can’t help but admire how beautiful it is, especially in the streets here, far away from a industrial zone. The Liberio interment zone is small, yes, but it’s no less beautiful. The architecture of brick and glass all hold an austere beauty, and when the sunset is upon you, the shadows they cast and the warmth that embraces the stone is something you’ve never quite seen before. There’s a church, and you’ve sat inside day a few days before, watching the light stream through the stained glass in amazement.

A knock at the door takes you from your thoughts and you let out a sharp noise of surprise, gaze ripping away from the busy streets. A tremor shoots through you and you swallow harshly, waiting in bated breath.

“The shop’s busy as bees, today!” your landlord admonishes on the other side. You let out a relieved sigh, relaxing a bit. “If you want, I can still save you a loaf!”

“No, thank you!” you shout over your shoulder, reaching to close the window and get ready for the day. Sliding a warm vest onto your shoulders, you adjust the hat on your head and grab your bag from the counter, your bare fingers a bit cold and numb.

You burn at the thought of Reiner. You don’t want to see him, even if you live in the same city now, but all the same, it’s hard to avoid him. After all, it’ll only be so long before you’re forced to confront your past, push yourself into his way because how long, really, can you stay away from him? As you slide the white armband onto your bicep, your heart tightens. You’ve seen the man he’s grown into—handsome, tired, lonely. That only reflects in you.

Pulling your arms through your jacket, you stare at the woodgrain beneath your feet emptily.

Why am I even here? 

Coming to Marley, of all places. Some days, you can’t wrap your head around it, before you’re reminded of the reason. It all has a purpose. You just have to keep going—keep moving forward.

Continuing through your loft, you shove your feet into boots and head out for the day. The festival’s tonight—you have lots to do before then.

.

Night slips in.

Reiner frowns when he realizes he’s walking back to the stage. He’s been trailing after the sound for a good half-hour, but considering they stay relatively nearby his final destination, he’s never felt the urge to detract. 

He still can’t place the tune that’s been hummed, whistled, sang gently and leading him on, and as the sky darkens and the crowd noise grows louder, he realizes that his trail is slowly growing colder and colder.

“Hey, Reiner!” His head swivels to find Gabi waving at him and he meanders over, frowning a bit. “Where’d you go? The others said you wandered off.”

“I took a walk to clear my head,” he says dismissively, ignoring her frown deepening. “I see you’ve recovered from your food coma.” Immediately, Gabi’s frown turns into a pout and she rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel fine.” He snorts, turning to survey the area. The others are milling about. Zeke and Colt are talking by the bench, and Pieck and Porco are off together, as usual. They’re not half as inconspicuous as they think they are. Finding Udo and Zofia, his brow wrinkles when he can’t catch sight of a certain blond boy. 

“Where’s Falco?”

“He ran off earlier, saying he saw someone he knew,” Gabi says, waving it away. “He’s always being so weird. Who else could he know besides us?”

“What, are you jealous?” he teases, ruffling Gabi’s hair and she lets out a squawk, smacking at his hand. Chuckling gently, he surveys the area again as they walk towards their seats. Zeke and Colt give him a nod in greeting, one he returns. 

“Why would I be jealous?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?” he replies distantly. His eyes keep searching, a ticklish feeling at the nape of his neck. He doesn’t know if he’s imagining it or if he can really hear that tune still at the edge of his hearing, nagging for his attention. Sighing, he crosses his arms over his chest. “What Falco does during his free time isn’t on your need-to-know basis, Gabi.”

“I know. I’m just saying—he doesn’t even have any friends besides us,” she says pointedly just as someone calls his name.

“Mister Braun!” Falco skids to a stop in front of him, his forehead gleaming with sweat, even in the cooler night air. Panting, he leans forward on his knees, meeting Reiner’s eyes, and Gabi tilts her head, confused and agitated and betraying her previous aloof words.

“Where the hell did you go?”

Ignoring her, Falco continues to try and catch his breath, barely punching out, “Can you come with me?” before looking down at the floor again, his shoulders rising and falling so quickly Reiner almost feels bad for him.

He frowns. “Right now?”

“You’ll be fine,” Zeke assures. The two look at the older man who glances at his watch. “It shouldn’t start for a few more minutes.”

Reiner debates it for a moment. Then again, it’s not like he’s the number one fan of this show. His presence is for appearance’s sake at this point, and if Falco insists, then it must be something important. Sighing, he nods and Falco takes off again. Telling Gabi to explain his absence to his mom should he not return in time, he walks after the sprinting boy, his mind a whirlwind on the possibilites of why he’s in such a hurry.

Falco stops past a blue curtain that’s near a residential building and points at the arch, smiling. His entire face is flushed and Reiner cocks an eyebrow, approaching closer before hearing a soft voice singing. It only grows as he passes by the blue partition, and his heart picks up as his eyes widen.

“…The Captain's mind was not on greed… But he belonged to the whaleman's creed… She took that ship in tow… Soon may the Wellerman come to bring us sugar and tea and rum. One day, when the tonguin' is done, we’ll take our leave and go…”

He knows that tune. The sailors sang it in the port city after Fort Slava. It’s one of their sea shanties—it’s rare to hear them anywhere except by the water, and when he reaches Falco, searching for that voice, his eyes fix on a figure leaning against the archway underneath the building.

The woman in purple.

Falco runs up to her. A hand is on her bicep when she shifts to look at the boy, and Reiner’s throat swells as his legs move on their own accord. Time seems to slow as Falco turns around, mouth open in words that go in through one ear, and out the other. 

The woman says something, and Falco twists back, frowning a bit, but she only nods encouragingly, and off he goes, running on ahead, down to the end of the pathway out of Reiner’s sight.

A strangled noise leaves his mouth as the blond slips from his view.

The woman in purple’s head snaps up at the sound, and Reiner’s entire body locks when he finally recognizes the face that searches his impassively. The white armband is covered still by her fingers, but when she pushes off the wall, it’s almost as if she bewitches him to come even closer.

And he does, his hand lifting up to reach for her. Reach for what has to be a ghost. No…

No, it can’t be. No. No, I’m seeing things, I am, I—

You lift your hand off your armband, and when his fingers meet your palm, he feels your warmth, the way your skin slides against his as he interlaces their fingers, and he chokes, entire body burning from the inside out as you fold your fingers over his palm, yank him into the shadow with enough force to unbalance him. You side-step and fling his hand off, let him crash to his hands and knees. Pain shoots up his joints and his eyes widen when he realizes his skin has scraped off on the stone.

“Hello, Reiner,” you murmur. He draws himself up, and there’s a strange lifelessness as he looks up to a face barely illuminated by light. You unbutton your jacket and crouch before him, arms on your knees. His skin steams and stitches itself back together and he swallows through a dry throat as your eyes flutter to the white wisps. There’s a raw damage lingering on your face, haunting like ghosts that should be long dead, before you blink.

Your long coat brushing the floor covers black armour, harnesses criss-crossing your legs and body. Your expression is severe, lips pressed in an impassive line, dark shadows under your eyes. The armband around your bicep is slathered in dark red, staining the symbol.

So that’s what you were hiding from Falco.

Reiner half-wonders who’s blood it is. If it’s the owner of the clothes you wear, or someone else’s entirely.

You lift your head, staring at Reiner properly for the first time in years. Clenching your jaw, you only look. You do not speak, you do not move. It’s terrifying. It reminds Reiner eerily of Captain Levi, with the same chillingly placidity, and he remembers how you used to smile so wide you’d complain your cheeks ached, how you would lean against him, clutching your gut ‘cause he made you laugh, and he had never heard a sound so perfect—

The words tumble out of his mouth before he can stop himself. “What are you doing here? Are you insane?” 

You barely move. Only tilt your head mockingly. “Probably.” 

Four years has changed you into a taller, leaner, stronger soldier—and he can only soak that in. You’re…

His breath catches in his throat. 

You’re beautiful.

But you’re crouching right in front of him, and you’re in danger. If Marleyans were to approach now, he’s not sure if he could lie his way out and that blood. How can he explain the blood on your sleeve?

You’d be left for dead, hanged for the crows. 

The image flashes through his mind like cold dread, a trickling drip of an icicle hanging in his mind and freezing his spine.

No, he refuses to lose someone else. Not again, not you. Never fucking you.

It is why he demands again through a hissed breath,“What are you doing here?” Why he stands up quick enough that their heads nearly collide, and you straighten up as well, smoothly running your hands over your coat.

You only look at him deftly as if he is as inconsequential to you as a roach. You don’t even twitch as his hand reaches forward, fighting through the searing ache in his chest. “You need to leave. You shouldn’t be here. I can smuggle you back to the port and take you home, I—.”

Your stare paralyzes him and his hand falters. “I don’t take orders from you. You are not my commanding officer, and I do not need you to tell me what I need.” Your fingers dig into the bloody armband at your bicep and Reiner’s eyes widen as you tear it off, planting it on his chest hard enough his lungs spasm and he lets out a sharp breath. Your fingers spread out over his chest, you step closer. “I don’t need you to save me. Not from Marley. Not from myself. And not from you.”

His hand comes to cover yours, but you slip out before he can touch you, and he’s left with an armband in his palm. Clutching it in a tight fist, he stares down at it for a moment before shoving it in his pocket and turning around.

Your name comes out of him without even thinking as you walk past him, and it must still hold something because you pause, head turning slightly to look at him. “I want to explain myself,” he chokes out, and the corner of your mouth curls into a hollow smile. “Please.”

“Follow me, Reiner,” you order softly, and without question, he falls half a step behind you, eyes trained on the ground. His head is swimming at your presence, and his knees are gummy, stomach convulsing as he tries to come up with what to say. Or maybe, what to say first. He’s had four years to come up with a proper way to say it, and he reaches for his breast pocket, where the letters he’s folded away rest, with shaking hands.

“Please…”

“I don’t know what you think begging will get you.” Something stony falls upon your face. “I’ve had four years to get over the fact that you used me. Now, I think I just don’t care anymore. I’m sure you have your reasons, but I don’t know if it’ll be the truth. You’ve had no problem lying to me before in the past.”

“That’s not true.” He doesn’t know to which part of what you said he means. The last part, every part. “I never lied about how I felt about you.”

“Right. Like I wasn’t just some pawn on your chessboard. Some lonely girl you could use to entertain yourself.” Your pace doesn’t slow, but your tone is laced with anguish you try so hard to cover. “At least Bertholdt had the courage to look me in the face and tell me he was going to kill me.” You stop by a crate, labelled as supplies for the play. Maybe they contain masks, or costumes, and Reiner stops, his shoes skidding against the stone as you reach into your coat.

Pulling out a knife, you wedge it into the crate and pry the lid off and Reiner’s entire body numbs when ODM gear gleams in the straw. It looks refashioned, sleeker, and in two parts, and he catches your hand reaching for the harness. 

Weapons, here.

You aren’t stupid enough to take on Marley on your own, which can only mean—

Shit, shit, shit. 

Dread trickles through his body.

“What are you two doing—Oh, Vice Chief Braun!” You slam the lid shut and press your left arm flush against Reiner’s body, covering it up as someone on their right approaches. Your hand tightens around the knife still wedged between the lid, and Reiner sets a hand on your shoulder, dragging you so he can cover you up better and as a warning.

Don’t do it. You’re stiff against him despite the easy expression on your face, and he sets a harsh glare on the intruder. Let go of that blade. Your entire body is rigid with a hot energy he doesn’t recognize as your fingers only tighten around the hilt. Don’t do it—

“Sorry to interrupt, but those are one of the crates we need for the play. It contains some costumes—“

 The performer looks stricken as you flash him an easy smile and Reiner’s blood freezes when the stranger seems to blush, voice fading.

“I actually work with Lord Tybur,” you explain easily with a tiny laugh, betraying the strength in your fist. “He wants to inspect it briefly before I return it. I think it contains the Helos costume? Gotta make sure every detail’s to his liking!” Your tone, innocent and cheery, floats through the distant sound of the crowd, and Reiner only stares at the performer who seems to shrink in his skin. Your fingers twitch when he hesitates.

“Oh, of course.” He scratches the back of his head, and you give him a gracious nod before he’s walking away.

You watch him go, and Reiner feels the way the air shifts when your smile fades away as soon as it came. You step away from him, loosening the knife from the crate. His hands burn as he reaches for your shoulder again, but you jerk back.

“You know,” you begin quietly, staring at the lid, “all this time, I thought I had actually found people again, you know. I thought you actually cared about me, but really, I realized all you’ve ever done is lie. Even after everything. Even after Marco died, and I told you how I felt about you, you just kept lying. Lying and painting yourself to be a knight in shining armour.”

“I tried—I tried to stop myself from caring about you,” he whispers raggedly, hands rolling into fists tight enough that his nails dig into his flesh, “but it happened anyway. That part of who I was was never a lie.”

“So you never saw me as someone you needed to protect? As this poor, lonely girl who loved you? Who fed your ego and—”

“Of course I wanted to protect you! I loved you, too!” he snaps and distantly, he recognizes this is the first time they’ve ever confessed that what they had… that it was somehow real and too good for him. It nearly makes him shatter. “How could I—“ He closes his eyes, teeth gritting as the flames inside him roar, consuming his heart. “How could I just stand back and watch you get hurt by the consequences of my actions? It’s because of me you were forced to leave the farm, leave that girl. Because of me you knew Marco and Mina and Thomas. You could have been so much happier if you never met any of us—I knew that—I just thought I could somehow—”

“Happier if I never met you,” you echo blankly before nodding to yourself. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds about right.” He flinches but you continue on, “In the end, it doesn’t matter, though. I’ve learned to not let the what ifs haunt me, because my time with you… it still means everything to me.” You shake your head. “That’s the truth. You dropped a building on me and broke my bones. Truth. You left me alone in those walls with Bertholdt dead and Annie comatose, and you did so knowing you are the last damn person I’ve got that I’d kill for. Truth.”

Reiner’s eyes widen as your words sink into his skin like a vicious poison.

So that’s it then. Bertholdt is dead and Annie… Annie’s still alive?

You don’t give him a moment’s breath to ask as you take a step forward. On reflex, he steps back, hands raising, and your eyes flash to his palms. One wrong move, and a Titan will overtake the square. He’s sure he can read the thought in your eyes, but when you look at him again, he only sees cold indifference.

“You nearly killed me, Reiner. So tell me…”

Metal flashes and a breath stalls in his throat as a cold knifepoint digs into the bump along his throat. It bobs when he swallows, lips parted, and you meet his eyes, every inch of agony he’s forced upon you glaring back at him reforged.

“Why shouldn’t I repay the favour?”

His breath stalls, and he looks down at your fingers, wrapped tight around the hilt, nearly shaking. He doesn’t know if it’s because you hold the weapon that tightly, or if you’re just as afraid as he is.

Either way, it doesn’t matter.

“Do it, then,” he whispers. “I’m the reason this all happened.”

Your eyes, wide, search his beseechingly and his heart crumbles to dust. Even after all this time, you still hesitate. Why? Because you think he’ll come back? That he’s… redeemable somehow? 

Reiner envies that—he wants to believe that there is still good. But there isn’t. He knows it.

“I have a thousand questions,” you murmur achingly, as if the words are wrenched from your throat. “Over the years, I’ve tried to come up with some incomprehensible list. I couldn’t decide which was the one I wanted answered the most, but I thought why did it matter? After all, it wasn’t like I’d ever see you again. But here I am, now.”

As you lower the knife, the tip of the blade scratches his skin, light enough only to leave a white trail until it falls away, just like when he held you at blade-point four years ago, the tip of a sword digging into your sternum. 

How poetic that he finds himself here, his life in your hands. This is your retribution, he supposes, and your mercy, fighting for control of your arm, but you sheathe your knife again with a sharp, smooth thrust at your hip. There’s a soft scrape before you set your hands atop the lid, sighing softly.

A terrifying glint lives in your eyes as you smile at him faintly, and hoist the crate into your arms. 

“So, Reiner.” You tilt your head, gesturing for him to follow you down the pathway to a set of stairs that must lead to a deeper cellar. Somewhere he can’t transform in. Smart. You always were, but he doesn’t have the heart to tell you he’d never hurt you again, especially when he’s already done so much to prove that his words are empty. Yet, nothing is more important than protecting you, and Gabi, and Falco, but— “What do you say to a game of twenty questions?”

.

You flip a page. The day’s labour has you sweating into your harness, but all you want to do is just finish this damn chapter. Pulling carts out of mud like a damn mule wasn’t fun, but at least it had you busy. But, God, did you just want to relax for an eternity now.

Even after four years, you’d think your body would grow accustom, but every day, something new tests you.

“Hello?” a voice by your door calls and you look up from your book, smiling automatically at the kid peering into your room. He’s one of the younger orphans who didn’t come from the immediate wreckage of the fall of Trost but rather just a few months ago, you had found him in the woods, walking away from one of the smaller settlements.

You don’t ask, let him come and tell you more, and although you know his name, you know it’s hard for him to talk about anything else.

What you do know is that he is one that still climbs into your bed when there’s a thunderstorm, and that he’s a sweet, yet studious child with a knack for trouble when the girls invite him to hang out with them. 

That doesn’t mean he’s any less attached. He’s probably the one who clings to you the most, and you get up, closing your book. Setting it down on the nightstand, you crouch in front of him and pat his head. 

“Hi,” he says again.

“What’s going on, Xavier?” His red hair is still damp. He must’ve just taken his bath and he shrinks under your hand, probably to protect the clean smell clinging to his skin and locks. Lifting your hand amusedly, you tap his nose. He breaks out into a gap smile. 

He lost his tooth just three days ago, and you remember how proud he was, bursting into the fields during study period to show you as you untied the horses from the plow.

“There’s a man who wants to see you.”

“A man?” You frown, looking over his shoulder. Placing a heavy hand on his shoulder, you pull him into your room, out of the way of the door. “Did he say what his name was? Or if he was military?” The kids know the military insignias. Praying silently to yourself, you glance uneasily at your nightstand where a gun is hidden in the drawer. You could probably arm yourself in time. Xavier tugs at your ear. You look back at him, eyebrows creasing as you glance over his shoulder. 

“He said his name was Jean and that you would know who he was. He’s waiting outside.”

“Jean?” you repeat sharply, standing. Xavier flinches, looking up at you, and you scoop him up before heading to the nightstand, yanking open the drawer and grabbing the gun. Arms worm around your neck, and you squeeze the child closer to yourself as you quietly slip out into the hallway, towards where the other kids’ room is.

“Girls, close the door and lock it,” you order quietly, as you walk into the . The two sisters—Alina and Anya who share the room—look up from whatever they’re doing, and Anya gets up from her bed, but you merely send her a warning look as you  “Everything’s okay. Anya’s in charge until I get back.”

She nods, and you set Xavier down but he doesn’t let go of your neck, hugging you tight to him. Letting out a strangled sigh, you slowly pull him away, cupping his face. Your heart is slow, steady, and you take a measured breath as Alina glances out the window that is right over their desk.

“I’ll be okay. I want to make sure we’re safe.” His eyes flicker over your face and you nod reassuringly.  “You know what to do. Listen to Anya, alright? Try to get some sleep.” The redheaded boy nods and you stroke his cheek with a thumb before he scampers towards Anya’s bed. You stand.

You leave the room, shut it behind you as Alina draws the curtains shut, and your mind is thrumming with ideas of who it could be.

Entering the kitchen, you head to the porch with a quick glance at the window. There’s a figure leaning against the fence, back to you, and your fingers around your gun tighten. Draped in dark fabric and ash-brown hair shining in the oil lamps hanging on the porch, you can’t make out a face as you step into the bracing night.

“What do you want?” 

The figure jolts to his feet, turning around. Edges dulled by the night, you can barely make out his features until he steps into the light, and your finger pad taps the trigger when brown eyes meet yours. Heart lurching, everything rushes back to you and you manage to control the sharp inhale, tempering it into a slow and steady breath that swells up in your lungs.

“It’s been a while,” he comments idly, and you swallow through the hard knot in your throat. Eyes flicking to the gun in your hand, the small smile that had been curving his lips drops away. “You’re a hard person to track.”

“How’d you find me?”

“It wasn’t easy, but Captain Levi saw that some of us were getting desperate.”

Four years.

Four years since you’ve seen any of them except Captain Levi, who only visits to make sure you haven’t been raided by bandits and killed in the months between his check-ins.

In that time, seasons have changed, you’ve sprained your shoulder, it healed; you’ve been thrown off a horse, and gotten back up. You had a period where you would write letters every waking second you were left alone in your room, debating whether or not you should destroy them or send them just for the sake of feeling like you had someone again.

All those letters are still wedged in a box under your bed, so there’s that answer.

Jean stands at the bottom of your porch and you nod, gesturing for him to come in. Your heart plummets as you do so. You don’t know why Jean even bothered.

He closes the door behind you, and you set the gun on the dining table before moving towards the stove, and you ask him if he wants any tea, gracious host that you are. He shrugs and you begin to boil some water. It’ll give you time to look him over as he sits down.

He’s grown the beginnings of a beard since you last saw him. And he’s taller. Way taller than you remember. He’s gotten more muscle, holds himself differently, he’s… still Jean, in all respects, but he’s…

Tired.

You’re sure that’s one word you’re looking for. 

Migrating to the hearth, you wonder if he’s doing the same to you. Studying you like you’re a stranger. 

You start a fire, feeding it freshly chopped firewood from the day before and stoking it before letting it feast.

You never liked doing that before. Swinging an axe down on wood, watching it split. Now, it’s the only time you get alone to your thoughts. You don’t have to focus on chopping wood. All you have to do is swing an axe until it’s nothing more than muscle memory. You can just… be. 

Maybe it isn’t so bad. Maybe it’s why Reiner liked doing it.

You sigh, and grab the iron poker, keeping an eye on the stove. You don’t know if Jean wants to skip the small talk. You do, but mostly because you don’t like it when your old life comes into your new one. You can make yourself believe you can’t go back when no one’s here to remind you, and that the guilt won’t gnaw you until you’re only bones. 

Absently, you remember Bertholdt used to like small talk—Jean seems less so.

“I have news. I don’t know if you want to hear it, but you’re still military.”

“Not labelled a deserter, yet?” you inquire dryly. Everything is moving so slowly around you, yet so quickly. It’s a terrible sensation. “I feel honoured.”

“Let’s cut the shit, alright. What the hell are you doing here?”

“No idea.”

“You disappeared! No one had seen you in weeks—we thought you were dead until the captain came back with strict orders not to look for you, but do you know how ominous that sounds?” Something bites at your gut as you stare into the flames, and Jean shoots to his feet, chair scraping against the wooden floor. “You were our friend!”

His words sink into your shoulders, but you only blink, staring into the growing hearth.

“Don’t you care? You left!”

“I don’t regret it. It’s not like I’m begging to become a Scout again,” you murmur, looking over your shoulder at him. A sort of tiredness pulls at your eyes, and you stand up again, walking around the table. “I don’t know what you want from me, Jean. You came to me first.”

“I want you to care. I want you to come back and fight. Aren’t you remotely interested in what’s going on?”

“I know we have a train, now.” The pot begins to boil and you move towards it, taking out a tin and small metal spoon. “Historia is doing well as queen. At least, that’s what people are saying. She’s expecting. If you ever see her, tell her I’m happy for her.” Scooping leaves into the teapot, you pour the boiling water into the porcelain and let it steep. 

Turning back around, your eyebrows rise when you see Jean has walked around the table. There’s not even a metre between them as he tosses something at you. Catching it, you realize it’s a rolled up newspaper and your heart drops. At his nod, you pry it open and read the contents, fingertips brushing over two rectangular slips of paper within stating a time and terminal.

“What is this?”

“Eren’s gone to Marley by himself. Probably to do something stupid. I have two tickets to go and rescue his scrawny ass.”

“And?” Dread knots at your stomach as Jean closes his eyes, exhaling softly. Pleading, then: “Jean, don’t.”

“You’re the least compromised out of all of us. None of the volunteers would recognize you or would have been able to relay information about you if they have allies back in Marley, and despite everything, I still trust you. Which is more than I can say for Yelena and the others.” You snap the paper shut and toss it onto the table. Shaking your head to yourself, you walk away from him, but Jean only grabs your arm. “You still have a duty to our nation.”

“Don’t try to plead to my sense of national pride,” you shoot back coolly. “I have other responsibilities.”

“What, like tending to wheat?”

“Everyone wants to kill us, so yes, tending to wheat.”

“If we don’t find Eren, they will kill us. He’s our one chance of getting out of this mess alive. As crazy as he is, he’s our one ticket to freedom and we need to find him.”

Turning around to face him, you pull your arm free of his grasp. The lantern hanging is glaringly bright, and something knots in your throat at Jean’s somber expression.

“I fought for our freedom and you know what I realized? There will always be more people out there who want to take that away from us.” You wish you could sound passionate, but you just sound rough and tired. The bite tastes different. “First, it was Titans, then, it was the people we called our friends. Do you think that we’ll ever be free? That we’ll be able to live without a sword above our necks. Levi told me we’re devils in everyone else’s eyes. What’s it matter?”

“Because we aren’t what they say we are. If you lay down and show your belly, why did you become a soldier in the first place?” You jerk back and Jean leans against the table, crossing his arms. “I thought you fought for a dream. Something. Anything.”

“I thought I did, too. I’m just…” A hissing breath, and you pinch the bridge of your nose, turning away. Images of the lake back from their cadet years flash in your head. “I’m just tired, I guess.”

“Tired?” he repeats icily. “You think the rest of us aren’t tired? We all haven’t had the luxury to sit down on a farm and escape all our responsibilities.” 

Head snapping up, your eyes find cold brown chips staring back. Bitterly, you grit out, “Excuse me?”

“Do you think there’s a day that goes by where I think about Marco and how I wasn’t there for him? We all lost someone. You’re not the only person who’s had to go through it. We’re all guilty of something, but at least, I didn’t give up! At least, some of us decided to do something about it!”

“Shut up!” A hand flies through the air but he catches your wrist and twists, pinning you down to the table. Another hand slams your other hand into the wood and you grunt as Jean wedges himself between your legs to stop you from kicking him. Eyes burning, you stare up into the face of your friend and in that moment, the sorrow overflowing spills into your chest as if you are a well and he is the flood. 

He sinks, elbows clacking against the table as he bows his head. His breath is rushed, cool against your face, and you search his features before uttering out a quiet, “Why did you really come here, Jean?”

His eyes widening, his hands loosen. You try to suck your tears back in, but your eyes are burning so intensely you have to let them fall anyway just as there’s a sharp gasp. Jean looks up before he jerks back as if you’ve really slapped him. Sitting up, you twist to look at the doorframe, and your heart drops into your gut when you see a redheaded boy, eyes shining with tears.

“What are you doing?” he cries, and you immediately launch yourself off the table, crossing the distance towards him as Anya appears over his shoulder, helpless. The brunette girl’s guilt punches through you and you lift Xavier up into your arms, hugging him tight before wrapping another arm around the girl and poking your head into the hall. 

Alina’s figure is a mere shadow at the end of the hall, and you sigh, gesturing for her to come. Taking off at a sprint, she charges down the hall and you bury your nose in Anya’s hair just as another body slams into you, latching onto your waist. You close your eyes as Xavier tries to snuggle even deeper into your neck.

“I’m okay,” you keep repeating. “Just a heat of the moment thing. I promise, he’s not here to hurt us. I promise.”

“Are you okay?” Anya murmurs, and you look down. The eldest girl’s pulled her head back to look at you. Her eyes are narrowed, perceptive as always, and her lips are upturned into a faint scowl. You smile faintly, running a hand over her head. 

“I will be. Why don’t you take them back to your room?” you advise, and her eyes wander from you to Jean again. Catching it, you brush your thumb along her temple soothingly. “Go.” Reluctantly, she lets go of you and turns to Alina who still latches onto you like a parasite, but you rest a palm atop her head. “Alina.”

A sniff, and then she steps back, rubbing at her face. Her older sister takes her shoulders, easing her away and you crouch down as Xavier silently grabs onto your shirt tighter in his tiny fists. 

“Xavier,” you soothe. “I’ll be back in just a moment, okay?” You tilt your head. “I promise.” Wiping at his tears, you wait for him to let go of your shirt on his own accord, and when he does, you brush his hair back from his brow and plant a kiss on his forehead. Anya calls his name softly down the hall, and he lingers for a moment more before walking away, head still over his shoulder so he can watch.

You stay crouched until he’s gone and then you let out a soft exhale, head dropping, eyes closing.

“We need you more than you probably need us,” Jean acknowledges quietly, and your eyes open again to look at him. He’s straightened himself up, watching you with softer eyes. He visibly swallows, and you wonder if it’s pity or jealousy in his eyes. “But, we’re outnumbered in trusted senior officers in the Survey Corps. You’re one of them.”

Quietly: “I shouldn’t be.”

He falters for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah, I suppose not.” He grabs the newspaper again. “But somehow, you are. If Captain Levi trusts you, then so do I. Bertholdt is dead. Annie’s a frozen log in a basement somewhere, and Reiner’s still alive. So are you.” He extends the paper to you. “This is what guilt got us. So what are you going to do about it?”

“Then, how about we go back to my hometown? There’s water nearby. We can go in the afternoons, eat all this food you’ve never had before.”

You haven’t seen a lake in who knows how long. Not since your cadet years, it feels like. Your heart yearns for the blue expanses, to plunge into the cold depths and gasp at how cold it is. You thought you’d given that up, but just there mere thought of it sends your mind spiralling into the images you’ve dreamed of since you were a child. 

“Regret begets regret—don’t have any when you go, and maybe you’ll live a life happier than most.”

You know you’ll never forgive yourself if you never take the chance to see him again. Heart peeling in your chest, you grab the newspaper from him.

“They call it the sea, don’t they?” you finally ask. Jean nods. “A lot of water and there’s… there’s animals in there.”

“Yeah. They live in this salty water and… they eat seafood a lot in Marley. I don’t know if you know.”

“Reiner might’ve mentioned it before,” you say. You look down at the newspaper in your tight fist and swallow. All at once, one door closes and another opens, and you look at Jean, the date and time of the ship already burned into your memory. “He said he thought I’d like it. I guess I’ll keep that in mind when we go.”

Jean’s eyes widen as you hand the paper back to him, your palm scalding as you shove the ticket into your pocket. He says your name softly, but you only hold your hand up, eyes fixed on the floor.

“I’ll meet you there, I promise.” You turn towards the shadows of the hall. In the silence of the night, you hear the hushed whispers of the children you’ve dedicated your life to and your heart disintegrates in your chest. “I just… I need some time to figure everything out.”

“Of course. Whatever you need.” Jean’s feet shift along the floor. You look over your shoulder for a moment to find his eyes on you. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” you reply. “Feel free to stay the night. It’s already late.” He nods, and you flash him the weakest smile. 

Then, you walk down the hall to your children. You have a lot of explaining to do.

.

You stubbornly try to ignore the tears tracing down your face as you reach into the compartment on your pants containing the letters. Reaching for it, you pull it out and crack it open, wondering if it’s even possible to bring yourself to read it.

“It’s not your last question,” Reiner had noted warily as they stood at the top of the stairs.

“Yeah. I guess we have to put a rain check this time.” You had set the box down, looking at him. You couldn’t recall feeling so warm, so empty. So convinced that there was something wrong with how much you still felt for him. “One more question, then?”

A nod, almost hungry for it. “Please.”

“Did you really, really love me?”

The gentlest of sighs, his warm yellow eyes. He had reached out for you, then second guessed, and reached for his breast pocket instead, extending the tin to you. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.”

The entire cabin is quiet as you stare at the ring nestled at the bottom, atop the stack of letters that are wrinkled and must’ve been refolded so many times it’s begun to permanently crease in multiple lines. 

No one’s dared to speak since Sasha died and you look up at the others before back down at the ring again before pinching it between your fingers and lifting it to eye level. You’re not sure what it means to hold it, but you gently close the tin with your other hand, feeling it click shut, and slide it back into your pocket.

The band is silver, rather simple, but it’s pretty, too, in a refined sort of way. There aren’t any gems, but there are simple engravings, lines that curve the metal, causing ripples along the surface and, without thinking, you stretch out your left hand in front of you, trying to gauge which one it’ll fit the best.

Sombrely, you slide it down your ring finger, and let it sit there, lowering your hands and curling them into fists and raising your shoulder, hearing a bone crack. 

You’re exhausted. 

The ODM gear feels strange on your body. It’d been a crash course to get you familiarized with the updates, and you hook a thumb on the strap on your rib cage before glancing at the others. Connie sits with Mikasa and Armin, and Jean is at the back by himself, rubbing at his face hard enough that his skin is beginning to turn red.

You don’t know what to say.

What is there to say? Four years have left you strangely numb.

Jean’s lips pull back into a vicious snarl and his head snaps up to find you looking. Then, everything seems to soften, and he looks away sharply, almost as if to hide his tears.

So you don’t say a thing. Instead, you walk on to the back of the ship, past him, where the prisoners are being held, and you open the door without a noise, first noticing the blond boy. Falco. He looks up at your entrance, eyes wide, and you give him a slight smile as you close the door.

You wish you could hate children for the part they played in killing your friend, but in this moment, you just feel nothing. Not even sadness. You had seen what Marley’s done in the friends you’ve lost.

“Hello, Falco.”

“You lied to me,” he whispers. “You and Mister Kruger—Eren,” he corrects himself. “You used me.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sorry about that,” you tell him, looking at the walls. It seems like a supply area, and you grab the bucket and rag that’s been left by whoever checked in on them last. There’s a few clean rags and you walk up to them, crouching before the blond first. He seems to flinch back and the brown-haired girl lunges at you.

You have no problem pushing her aside and pinning her down.

“Don’t touch him!” she yells. “You don’t get to touch him!”

“Calm down,” you tell her calmly. “I’m not going to hurt him, and you are in no position to be making demands at me after you killed my friend.”

Her eyes widen. “You’re a devil. So was she!” she spits as you slowly wet the rag and dab at the blood cracking underneath Falco’s nose. It’s clear whoever was here before only used the bucket and rag as a taunt. Probably telling them they could piss in here if they wanted. A coy coil of disgust wraps around your gut. “Don’t touch him. You’re tainted! You give all of us a bad name!”

Your nose wrinkles as the girl squirms under your hand and you let go of her. Cupping Falco’s face, you continue to wipe at his cheek. The water is cold. You hope it soothes what must be a flaring face.

“I don’t understand,” he murmurs dully. Exhausted eyes find yours. “Why?”

“I’m sorry. I have no idea why kids are suddenly soldiers in an adult’s war.” You reach to rinse the rag. Dipping it in water, you begin to wring it out when suddenly, there’s a sharp gasp, and you turn to look at the other child—Gabi. She stares at your hands, eyes wide enough a ring of white is around her irises and you frown. “What?”

“Where did you get that ring?” she asks, voice shaking, and you look down at your hands. “That’s… that’s Reiner’s ring. Where did you get it?” You don’t answer, simply stare at her for a moment, and her breath comes out quivering. “He doesn’t let anyone know he has it. It’s for someone special. That’s—he wouldn’t even tell me. He doesn’t know I saw him with it. He… he —it’s supposed to be for someone!”

“Gabi—“ Falco grabs her arms as you regard her softly, and you have just an idea of what’s going in her head as she points at you. “Gabi, calm down—“

“Why do you have it?” she demands ferociously. “It’s not yours! Give it back!” You drop the rag back into the water, and sit back, drawing your knees up to your chest and resting your arms atop of them lazily as tears begin to trace down the child’s face. “It didn’t even cost that much! You won’t be able to sell it to, you know! Give it!”

“Gabi!”

“You have no idea what that means to him!“

“Stop—“

“You spawn! You devil woman!”

“Are you done?” you ask her quietly, fingers twisting the ring and Gabi inhales raggedly as you look at her flatly. Her eyes widen even more if possible, and she allows Falco to pull her back. Her wet gasps fill the silence and you swallow, tilting your head at your hands. “If you really want to know, I don’t really have an idea why I’m wearing it.” You sigh, dropping your hands and letting your head fall forward. “As for how I got it, if you ever see Reiner again, why don’t you ask him?”

Falco’s eyes widen as you look up and finding him staring at you with a strange scrutiny, and your eyebrows furrow as he lets go of Gabi and straightens up from where he’s sitting.

“Mister Braun didn’t even hear what I said when he saw you,” he murmurs, brow furrowing. “Like he’d just seen a ghost. You and…” He struggles for words, voice unsteady. “Eren said you guys were all old friends. But… but, if he gave you the ring—“

“Shut up, Falco!” Gabi beseeches, grabbing his arm, but Falco only stares at you. “Are you even hearing what you’re saying? You’re accusing my cousin of treason! He wouldn’t!”

“He stayed with you for so long,” he continues, as if in a trance. “Even Eren wondered what was taking so long. He… called it a lover’s quarrel. You…”

“I think you two should get some rest,” you interrupt, pushing yourself to your feet and ignoring the smokey feeling clogging up your chest as tears slip down Gabi’s face and Falco’s face pales at your blatant dismissal. “It’s going to be a few hours until we land, roughly. You’ll want to get used to being somewhere warm before they transfer you to some sort of prison. It’ll be a lot colder there.”

Taking the bucket and the rag, you return it back to its spot before walking out the room and closing the door shut behind you. 

You find the spot you once were standing at now occupied with Floch and his comrades, and then you turn your head to see Jean still leaning against the wall, arms crossed, expression burning the metal floor.

You amble over to him without a word and lean in beside him, sinking to the floor.