#that's not to say it's an automatic no-brainer for her she does have to make the effort

[vullcanica]

Whenever Avita takes on too much energy - be it by choice, by underestimating a source or by necessity (as she can absorb attacks, explosions, soulsnatch whole groups of people, etc) - and is forced to bleed off some excess to prevent from destabilizing her form, it usually manifests into light energy. It's a safety reflex she's developed over the years for the good of those around her. At times even bleeding raw life force into her environment can unbalance it and cause abominable mutations and anomalies, so she makes sure that on exit it's converted into something as harmless as possible.

I.e. babygirl glows sometimes 💅

[siderealcity]

Does anybody else ever wonder how the Archons connect to the Twelve? Just me? That's fair.

Back before the Praetorium fight, Alphinaud named the plan to take down the Black Wolf, "Operation Archon" on the basis that it required the cooperation of twelve major factions, and the Archons of legend were twelve in number. Which automatically associates them with The Twelve. So... speculation on who's who under the cut, I guess.

1. Louisoix -- Obviously aligns with Thaliak. The symbol for Thaliak is inscribed on Tupsimati.

2. Matoya -- I'm going to say that as the Keeper of the Antitower, she aligns with Nald'thal.

3. Y'shtola -- As the vehemently curious sun-seeker, I'm going to guess she's aligned with Azeyma, goddess of inquiry. And her conflict/connection to Master Matoya mirrors Azeyma and Nald'thal.

4. Urianger -- The student of prophesy seems most likely aligned with Nymeia, the goddess of Fate.

5. Yda (the real one, not Lyse) -- Was probably Rhalgr. I mean. She seems to have majored in punching. That's a no-brainer.

6. G'raha -- The one introduced to us as a happy-go-lucky archer, who still gets all excited about wandering on the eternal winds, and who was notably there for Myths of the Realm is almost definitely aligned with Oschon, tendency to be trapped in towers aside. (This might have also been why they initially thought of making him green instead of red.)

So, with the easy ones out of the way, that leaves us:

7. Rammbroes -- I'm going to throw him over to the Althyk column. I had initially thought maybe Byregot? Just... on the basis of vague tower-related stuff? But it makes more sense for the archaeologist to be associated with the god of time, I think.

8. Papalymo -- I'm guessing Byregot for him, on the basis that he's the counterpoint to Yda's Rhalgr.

9. Moenbryda -- I'm torn on this one. With moon literally being in her name, that makes her a shoe-in for Menphina, she wears blue and white, and being the sweetheart of just about everyone we know she kinda lines up with the goddess of love, but she's... really into axes, and she throws herself at Nabriales, the Convocation seat that governed combat? So she could also be aligned with Halone. And we meet her at the start of the plot that leads us to Ishgard, so...

I dunno. I might put her under Halone, the more I think about it.

10. Thancred -- Another tricky one. Being the guy who throws knives, and also being from Limsa originally, I am tempted to say he's aligned with Lymlaen. But also being the outrageous flirt throughout ARR, he could be the one lined up with Menphina.

11 and 12?? Mikoto and Kagura. Does Kagura still count, if she was stripped of her title? Mikoto is a super-nerd and has precognition. That could make her a good candidate for Althyk. But she's also in the relic weapon quest for Shadowbringers, and she's involved in crafting tools to stop Ultima, so... she could be Byregot? But she's also a twin, and her sister is described as "headstrong" and her colors are all ice-blue and white, so... she could be Menphina while Kagura goes with Halone.

But then again... Nophica and Lymlaen are unaccounted for, and they are also sisters.

It would help if somebody had a dog, is all I'm saying.

[celestianstars]

O, I’m a puddle of tears over this 🥺🫶🏾 so many emotions oh my gosh! Incredible as always and I’m so sad to be ending this story knowing the epilogue is next but wow am I so grateful you wrote this and poured your time and soul and heart and energy into this, it’s been amazing and I’ve gotten so attached to this little family it’s crazy! 💘

“My incredible fucking girl, you mean so much to so many.”

soooo the way I started tearing up reading this…oh! Excuse you!!! Really love any time Ali gets to see and be reminded that she’s as amazing as she is and does mean a lot to people, that she has made an impact as is important in people’s lives, idk it’s just so good to see her get that affirmation especially from Joel, that sweet fucking man! Feels like I’m getting affirmations too and that’s an example of why your writing is so amazing, I really feel it all in your words so thank you for writing that bit, I kinda needed to hear that today honestly and it feels like a sign!

Ooh love getting some Sarah and Ali having a little girl enrichment hour! Love how much they’ve bonded, the trust and love there feels so real and strong and the fact that Ali just automatically, no brainer brings Sarah a little sweet treat because it feels natural and right…yeah truly she’s the best mama and their relationship specifically is so special to me! The fact that Sarah has someone safe and trustworthy and warm and loving to go to and be held by and cared for by is everything!

“See and I’ll let you have all the French fries you want because I’m not denying you good or happiness.”

LIKE!!!!! Yeah!!!! This is the family stuff I love! Sarah deserves all the french fries!

Oh my gosh and can I we just talk about Alison and Joel’s relationship and how much growth there’s been even from August to Sept!!! Talking about having babies together!!! And even though there’s some insecurities that come up because Ali knows Joel’s had permission from her circle to propose, later there’s a part where she’s thinking of it again and knows that he’s just working up the courage but there’s no doubt that this is solid between them!

LIKE I COULD CRY?! I AM CRYING ACTUALLY LOL wow does that make me so proud, they really have come so far and I love how much they do things as a unit, as a family! And of course 😏 really loving the horny vibes Joel was giving this chapter, he’s so HOT when he’s in love and with the love of his life and it’s so good to see!

Tommy and Ali’s relationship is so fucking funny and sweet and I love how Tommy is this chaotic, problem child but we all love him and he’s inexplicably part of the unit! Not the sucking on his balls part DHSJJSS he got that out of her so smoothly I-😳😂

“You’re a good man and I love you,” I go on. “I can’t wait to be Mrs. Joel Miller, I can’t wait to be the mother of your children.”

Here comes the tears again…O this is so so special and I love the way they can say these things to each other now! It’s perfect, it’s everything, it’s so beautiful!

The way you weaved in the epidemic was so good, the E. coli!!! How things are a lot different from infections they normally see and the horror I felt at seeing fungal pulmonary infections….that’s SO scary

The genuine tension and worry over it from Ali’s pov being a nurse, omg so real, I’m remembering having talks with my family about taking precautions with flu season and COVID and omfg yeah flu season at the hospital?!…that shit can be roughhhh, I was so thankful I didn’t get it or bring it home this past flu season working at my hospital so I really appreciate those little details of Ali being alert to these things

Her concern over Joel and Sarah’s health had me so 🥺 she loves them so damn much, the detail about her wondering if she should call Sarah’s school and ask how lunch is being made-oh! Again your writing is just so incredible and does so much justice to healthcare workers and the ugly and the bad and the good and reward of it, the scariness of seeing people at their worst and also how fucked up these hospitals can be cause the system is shit and how healthcare can be truly life threatening and detrimental at times, you do such a great job at encompassing it all and I’m so happy Ali is moving onto something better for herself! As she should!

The shift in priorities, how Ali realizes that her world had changed in 9 months, she’s gained a family and now she’s coughing and it’s looking dire and oh my god am I so fucking scared for her, like this woman deserves to be in Wyoming with her man (ALSO JOEL’S MENTION ABOUT PLANS…he’s going to propose in Wyoming I’m going to S C R E A M !) not dealing with this!!!

Feeling so much right now, and I’m worried for my girl but also just feeling so warm that even though she can’t talk to Sarah right then and she’s dealing with all this scary and real shit, she’s still asking Joel to tell their kid that she loves her…because yeah at the root of it all that’s what it comes down to…love and she’s found that in this 36 year old man and his teenage daughter…yeah uhhh you’ve been in your bagggg with this series, friend!

Thank you for writing this, I am going to savor the epilogue so much ❤️ @wyn-n-tonic

Days of You & Me: September

Word Count: 12.7k+ Warnings: Hospital talk. Sick people talk. People being shitty to hospital workers. Marriage talk. Slight alcoholism talk. Unprotected sex. Note at the end. Author’s Note: Thank you to @tauralmie and @darnitdraco as well as @marvelousmermaid for being my continuous shoulders to lean on throughout writing this series.

Please follow @wyn-writing and turn on updates for notifications. You can sign up for my taglist HERE.

Days of You & Me Masterlist | ← Previous Chapter Epilogue →

September 3, 2003:

“Fancy seeing you here,” Drea grins over the desk. “That boy ask you to marry him yet?”

“God, what happened to good morning and how do you feel, Sonny?” I ask her. “And no, that boy did not ask me to marry him yet, he says he’s waiting on permission.”

She laughs, loud and full, and throws her head back, light bouncing off the dark brown of her skin in what looks like rays.

We had lunch a few times, even got together as families to have a pizza and movie night last week. I don't even remember saying goodbye that night, I had fallen asleep on the couch before the movie ended and woke up in bed. The next day, Joel showed me a polaroid Warren had taken of Sarah and I asleep, each tucked into one side of him.

But even though I've seen her, I haven't worked with her and that’s heart breaking. The knowledge that I won't be here after this month, that I won't work with her anymore, is heartbreaking. I've missed her and I know that I'll continue to miss her.

“I don’t know what he’s waiting for,” she says, taking a deep breath. “We gave him permission weeks ago.” 

“Weeks ago as in…”

“Pretty much the moment he asked,” she says. “I didn’t see a ring the last time I was over but I know y’all have been busy with the business and with moving plus”—she shrugs—“I didn’t want to ask in front of him and spoil any special plans he may have.” 

“Well,” I start, hands flattening on the counter top to show bare nails and bare fingers. “As of last week, he told me he was still waiting for permission so I don’t know what he’s waiting for either.”

He says he’s worried that I may be unsure of him but now I can’t help but wonder if he’s unsure of me. Even as I'm thinking it, I’m trying to tamp it down—those insecurities that are cropping up. Because if he was unsure, he wouldn’t be so hellbent on painting our room the perfect color. It wouldn’t even be our room, it would still just be his.

“Maybe I said something I shouldn’t have said,” she breathes out. "Let's just get through this day and then maybe you’ll go home and he’ll have made you a fancy dinner and set out candles and wine and bought a whole new box of condoms—“

“Drea!” I look around to see who may have heard, heat blooming up my cheeks even as I remind myself that we are adults and healthcare professionals so this isn’t necessarily inappropriate for the kind of work that we do but, still… “We don’t use those anymore,” I whisper out, the words leaving me as quickly and quietly as they can.

Her jaw drops and then she lets out a low whistle. “Like I said, both of you got it bad.”

But he’s not home when I get here. His truck isn’t in the driveway and there’s certainly no wine or candles but there is Sarah with her big, bright eyes telling me happily that dinner’s in the oven and it’ll be ready by the time I get out of the shower.

“Thank you, bug, but you didn’t have to do that,” I tell her as I kick off my shoes. “I would’ve cooked.”

“Oh, I didn’t cook,” she says. “Daddy made lasagna, it's just in the oven.”

“He's not working a double?” I ask, feeling my eyebrows pinch up. “His truck’s not outside.”

She shakes her head. “He was home for a bit but left a little while ago, Uncle Tommy’s truck broke down again.” 

I learned pretty quickly that saying Uncle Tommy’s truck broke down is another way to say that Uncle Tommy got thrown in county jail for throwing a punch or two on a drunk and disorderly charge but Sarah doesn’t need to know that. “Any idea when he’ll be back?”

“No,” she says. “He said to go ahead and eat without him and that he’d see us tomorrow so I’m guessing it’ll be late.” 

Late is exactly what it is when he crawls into bed beside me, jeans pushed off and shirt tossed to the side to leave his tired body mostly bare.

“How's Tommy?” I mumble into his chest as I turn into him. “That was a long ass time this time.”

Joel pushes his head into the pillows and takes a deep breath, broad chest expanding against my cheek, and he lets his arm settle around my waist. “Fucking dumbass,” he breathes out. “He has to go to court now because this is his third charge in as many months and the fucking cops said they’re gonna start booking him on assault charges if he doesn’t clean his fucking act up.” He takes another deep breath and pulls me closer. “Dumbass was still fucking drunk when I got there so I got some food in him and took him home, I’ll have to pick him up tomorrow but I’d rather him not have access to his truck tonight.” 

“I know it’s a lot, baby, but you’re a good brother,” I tell him, lifting my head to look up at him, “you’re a good man and I know he appreciates that.”

He pushes a laugh out and I can see the exhaustion heavy on his face. “What about you?” He asks, changing the subject. “How was your first day back at work? How did they take your notice?”

Shrugging, I tell him they said they saw it coming. “My vacation time won’t be impacted and they were grateful I gave a month long notice.”

“Mmm, good.” 

“They also said they know it won’t be the last they see of me since you’ll be the one working there after that. Everybody seemed kind of sad though which I guess was nice. Not nice that they were sad but it was kind of confidence boosting to know that I could have that impact on others.” 

He pulls a strand of hair away from my face and twists it around his finger, eyes darting from mine to my lips and back. “Of course you have that kind of impact,” he rasps out, accent coming out thick through his exhausted body. “My incredible fucking girl, you mean so much to so many.”

Thank God for the low light of the bedroom because I can feel heat rushing up my cheeks in shades of what I’m sure are brilliant red. “When’s court?”

“Next week,” he breathes out. “They're fast tracking it so we’ll see what shit looks like, he’ll probably have to do community service which will hopefully inconvenience his ass enough that he just gives up drinking altogether because I’m sick of this shit.”

“Half of these fights aren’t his fault though,” I remind him. “He doesn't throw the first punch, he doesn’t start this shit.”

“No,” Joel agrees. “But he sure does fucking finish it, doesn’t he?” I watch as his eyes close and he takes another breath. “I love him but he’s gotta stop running his fucking mouth, I’ve bailed him out too many goddamn times, I’m shocked he hasn’t bankrupted me.”

“Take a breath,” I say, guiding him through the action before pushing myself up and over him.

“Are we having sex?” He asks, eyebrows pinched together in confusion. “Because I’m tired as shit, you’re gonna have to do all the work—“ 

“I'm kissing you,” I interrupt him. “And then you’re going to get up and brush your goddamn teeth because I refuse to be trapped beneath your mouth breathing at five in the morning.”

Pursing his lips in a pout, he pushes up to meet me halfway, dodging to the side just as our lips are about to touch to lick me up the side of the face, capping the action off with a kiss and laughter as he pulls away to slip from beneath the covers. 

The bathroom light trickles out into the dark of the room as I fight to keep my eyes open so I can fall asleep in his arms this time. I finally give up when he sticks his head out the door, says he’s gonna hop in the shower and that he won’t be long but that I shouldn’t wait up for him. 

Doesn't matter what he says, I still try.

With the light falling out of the bathroom door, blurred out through steam and tired eyes, I finally give up close to the hour mark as he starts singing I’m Your Man beneath the spray. 

September 9, 2003:

Sarah climbs into the passenger seat and smiles wide as she takes her coffee from me. “Are we ever going to tell dad you load me up with sugar on Tuesdays?”

“Absolutely not,” I laugh out. “He’ll give me a lecture about spoiling you.”

Her eyes turn up towards me and she places a hand on her heart. “How am I ever supposed to respect you if you give in to my every whim and desire, Alison?” Her tone is mocking and she sits back, picking at the whipped cream with the end of her straw. “He's such a funny old man, I think he sometimes forgets that I genuinely like you and is afraid that I’m just using you.”

"He is a funny old man,” I agree, turning the car towards the grocery store. “It’s not like you ask for these things, I just get them for you. It would be pretty shitty if I picked you up on Tuesdays with only a coffee for myself, that would be like if I brought dinner home but it was only for me.”

“Ooh, Tommy’s done that before,” she says. “I was really upset because I wanted French fries and he wouldn’t let me have any.”

“See and I’ll let you have all the French fries you want because I'm not denying you food or happiness.”

She tsks in my direction and shakes her head. “Absolutely killing it as the wicked stepmother here, Ali, actually caring about me. How dare you?”

“And those girls?” I ask. “Are they still giving you hell?”

“One of them tried to trip me in the hallway earlier,” she says. “It didn't work but she tried and another one wants to organize a fight and I don’t really understand, I don’t know what there is to fight about.”

“Just don’t pay attention to it.” I turn to her as I park the car outside of the store. “They're trying to goad you into looking angry and like you’re the problem, it can have a negative effect on soccer. So just ignore them and if it continues to be bad, your father and I will talk to the school.”

“Mrs. Adler says that she's going to pray for them.”

Rolling my eyes, I open the door and gesture towards the store. “You know, I’m fucking catholic but I’ve never seen anybody up Jesus’ ass the way that woman is—not even Nana Nora.” 

“Maybe she dropped off the crazy Jesus train after finding out she had a gay son and a daughter who got pregnant at fifteen,” she suggests. 

We stop in the parking lot and look at one another, her question of whether that was okay or too far barely out of her mouth before both of us break out into laughter.

Pulling her close as we talk through the doors, I tell her she’s going to love Uncle Bill when they meet over Thanksgiving. “He helped pay for me to go to University of Texas so, really, he’s kind of to thank for me and your father being together.” 

“I think we’re going to need to talk to the school,” I tell Joel later after dinner. “She said one of those girls tried to trip her in the hallway earlier and another one is trying to organize a fight.”

“And you think we should talk to the principal about it?” He asks over his shoulder, turning off the water at the sink. “I'm worried that might make it worse.”

"And I’m worried about our kid coming home with a black eye—“

“Hey.” He turns in my arms and frames my face with his hands. “I love you and I love you going into protector mode, but until she says she wants us to intervene, I think it’s best that we let it fizzle out. All we’ll do is make them act worse because they’ll think she went crying to her daddy to fix it but they will get bored eventually.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I was a little fucking asshole once, too,” he says like it’s obvious. “I'm an asshole now, truth be told, and I am telling you that it will be okay. Now, if she or the principal come to us, then we will step in. But until then, sweetheart, we just need to let her vent and you’re a safe person for her to do that with.” 

“But—“

He presses his lips to mine. “You are perfect and she will be, too. Now get your ass upstairs and let’s go to bed, I’m tired and I’d like to put my penis in you for a bit.”

“But—“ 

It’s funny how we went from awkwardly eating lunch in my car to romantic dates in gardens to being very crass with one another in a way that the spontaneity of sex is kind of gone. Not gone in a bad way, I assure him as he pushes me towards the stairs, but gone in the way that neither of us feel the nerves around it anymore. We don’t have to wait for half a spark of bravery, we can just say what we want.

“I'm in my mid-thirties,” he whispers, pushing me through the door. “I don’t play fucking games, I met the love of my life and I am going to tell her that I want to fuck her but I am also going to be honest about my exhaustion. Take your top off.”

He laughs and it hits something inside of me that makes my brain go fuzzy. “You called my daughter our kid and have been in protective mama bear mode for hours and I am telling you that if I have to undress you, I will rip your clothing to pieces so”—he pulls his belt buckle open—“take off your top.”

“And if I don’t?” I ask him, biting back a smile as I watch frustration harden his features.

Instead of answering me, he pushes his jeans off, pulls his shirt over his head and walks towards the bathroom instead of towards me. “I'm marrying a smartass,” he mutters under his breath. “A complete and utter little asshole.”

“Joel,” I call his attention back to me as I throw the shirt to the side and barely have time to brace myself as he quickly closes the distance and throws me onto the bed. “You don’t seem too tired to me,” I whisper.

Teeth scraping against my jawline, he breathes out that he’s not too tired yet. “All I said is that I’m tired and I want to be with you, the too tired part comes after you have.”

I can’t think because he doesn’t let me, the full weight of his body laying down against mine. The moment I told him he wasn’t going to hurt me is the moment he turned back into that overwhelming kind of lover he was—all big and broad and all encompassing.

Even Tommy walked in on us one time and asked if Joel was fucking me or trying to crawl inside of my skin. Joel didn’t even both yelling at him, just told him both options sounded great and asked him to lock the door on his way out. He even said please like the nice, polite southern boy that he is.

“What has gotten into you?” I ask the moment he separates from my lips long enough to take in more than just a breath in the space between us. “You've been insatiable the last few weeks.”

He looks up from where he’s bent down to push my underwear off of my legs, eyebrow raised in question. “I'm insatiable? Bold words from somebody who started crying because I’m old and needed to catch my breath before I went in for a fifth round.” 

“That's not fair to use against me, Joel, I was on my period and bloated and felt very unattractive, catching your breath might as well have been a rejection.”

“God forbid I ever experience erectile dysfunction,” he breathes out as he pushes inside of me. “Not tonight though.”

One large hand smooths my hair back and out of my face, making room for the soft press of his lips against my forehead. He really has been insatiable lately, like everything is going right and he needs to celebrate between my legs before the bubble bursts.

As if it’s all some kind of dream—me and this house and the business. 

September 13, 2003:

Yelling pulls me out of my dreams—loud and lively suburban kind of yelling while the weight of his palm rests on my back. He’s not here when I open my eyes, though. No warm hands or strong arms around me, no soft voice coaxing me from my dreams.

In fact, it’s his voice that’s doing the yelling—half of it, at least—in a back and forth across the street with a neighbor.

“No, Denise!” He yells back to the question I didn’t quite catch. “I’m not moving out, my girlfriend’s been moving in.” 

The neighbor—Denise—gasps. “Joel Miller,” she yells over, “you finally found yourself a nice girl?”

“I don't know about nice—“

“Uncle Tommy!” 

The clock shows it’s a little past ten and the anxiety for missing so much of the day sets in immediately. I can’t remember what time it was when he brought up the coffee, rubbed my back and told me he’d be down in the yard, but the sun was up so it can’t have been too long ago.

“She's perfectly nice, Denise,” Joel responds as I make my way out of bed. “Far too good for me.”

Putting on shorts, I grab the travel cup he left for me and take the stairs two slowly, their conversation following me from the bedroom’s open window to the living room’s.

“I'll have to tell my niece the handsome young man I live next to is off the market,” she says.

“Happily so, Denise, but”—his head turns towards me as I open the front door before turning back—“you can always give her Tommy’s number.”

Tommy’s face drains of color, flat hand subtly moving across his neck while he mouths for Joel to shut up.

“They been like this all day?” I ask Sarah as I sit beside her.

Looking up from her book, she shrugs. “More or less… also”—she drops her voice to a whisper and leans in closer—“dad’s not in a great mood.”

“What's going on?” I ask her, looking over at him digging in the dirt.

Shaking her head, she tells me the contractor they’ve been working with has been calling all morning, apparently some kids came in with baseball bats and destroyed most of the framing they worked on yesterday.

“And he… what? Wants your daddy to go fix it on a Saturday morning?” I ask her.

“That's exactly what he wants,” Joel interjects as he walks up. There’s dirt stains on his jeans, neckline of his t-shirt stretched out and a dirty, old rag worrying between his hands to get the dirt off. 

“Don't get paid on Saturdays though,” Tommy says from his place still in the grass. “Don't get paid, don’t work.”

“Y'all are real bad at whispering,” Joel continues. “Baby girl”—he turns to Sarah—“you all packed? Kenzie’s mom is gonna be here to pick you up soon.”

“What time is it?” She asks.

He shakes his head and yawns, “I don't know, my watch isn’t working again.” 

“Was almost half ten when I ca—“

Before I can finish, she’s jumping up and running back into the house almost knocking her father down on her way.

“Movies and arcade,” he answers my question before I can ask, sinking down into the seat next to me. “It’s McKenzie’s older brother’s party and Susan invited Sarah so the girls are gonna watch what they want to watch and the boys are gonna watch… I don’t know, I don’t care.”

I hand him my coffee up when he reaches for it. “When did this happen? McKenzie doesn’t just want to come over here?”  

“Susan called first thing this morning, McKenzie wasn’t originally going but it’s a nice day so she didn't want to be stuck in the house and, also, there’s nothing to do here,” he shrugs as his head drops back onto the chair, “Susan’s house has video games and skateboards and a trampoline, this place has a broken down car in the backyard and a lame movie collection, I don’t wanna hang out here either.”

“Yes, you do,” I respond. “You like lame movies and working on your broken down car, you’re lame and it’s okay.” 

Groaning, he stands up and gestures for me to do the same. “Come on, let’s go pack, I can’t have both of my girls thinking poor of me.” 

When I reach for my coffee cup, he wraps a hand around my bicep and hauls me up alongside him as he moves towards the open door.

“Is this the bad mood she was referring to, Mr. Miller?” I ask.

We’re halfway into his office when he spins me around and pushes me up against the bookshelf. “I'm in a mood alright,” he says, eyes flicking down my body and back up. “You don’t know how fucking hard it was to say no to you earlier,” he goes on, “so sleepy and cute and begging me to come back to bed with your soft little voice.” 

“You and your damn responsibilities, baby.”

He laughs as he presses his lips into me. “God, you’ve been getting so twangy lately,” he breathes out. “My rude ass northern girl with her adoptive accent, you’re fucking gorgeous.”

More laughter but it doesn’t come from either of us and his jaw sets as he looks over at the man standing in the open doorway.

“Can I help you, Thomas?”

Half a smile on the younger man’s lips and he pops a fruit snack into his mouth. “I just like seeing you happy,” he shrugs. “It's so different.”

Joel lets out a breath, shoulders relaxing as he hangs his head. “That was actually really nice of you, Tommy,” he says as he lifts his head again. “Thank you.”

“Nah,” he says, smile growing wider. “We should all be thanking Alison, it’s funny what a little head can do for a man and you”—his eyes flick up to me as he raises his hands in prayer—“are an angel and a saint.”

“Tommy.” Joel’s voice is low and stern but not in the way it is with me in the moments where he has been. No, this is a dangerous kind of tone and his grip on my hip is tightening.

“Aww, Tommy,” I cut in, “what’s really funny is what giving a little head can do for a man.”

“Jesus Christ,” Joel breathes out. “Don't encourage him, baby.”

“Let him have his fun, Joel, he’s just jealous. Isn’t that right, Tommy?”

“Swear to god if he doesn’t marry you,” he says, mouth full of the rest of the snacks, “I am first in line”—he points at Joel and then back at himself—“you hear me? Give me a head’s up for when you’re gonna break her heart, big brother.” 

Joel’s ringtone starts playing and his eyes roll back as he fishes the brick out of his pocket. “This fucking prick again”—he hits the answer button—“hell—no, I told you that we’re not coming out tod—because we don’t get paid on weekends, if you want the shit fixed quick, get those boys who fucked it up back down there but if you want it done right—“ Joel’s eyes roll back in his head and he holds the phone away from his ear, covering the microphone as he says, “I'm gonna finish this call and take a shower, lock the door when both of my children leave, please.” 

“Bye, daddy,” Tommy says as he leaves the room before looking back to me. “He's too fucking easy, Murph.” 

“Yeah, Tommy, but you could still go easier on him.”

He considers me for a moment, eyes squinting as if he’s studying me. “That’s a nice thought,” he finally declares. “But the answer is no.”

Joel’s voice trails down from the top of the stairs, an argument going back and forth between him and the contractor and Tommy shrugs. “Look, I have to do my brotherly duty,” he says. “When it comes to his balls: I bust ‘em and you suck ‘em.”

“Oh my god.”

Since our conversation on Sarah’s birthday, we’ve developed more of a rapport, almost how I imagine it’d be if I had a sibling of my own. He said it helps that I feed him, that’s why he warmed up to me so quick. He also said all of Joel’s other girlfriends haven’t liked him too much in the past. I asked if it was because he was too crude or because he was flirting with them so much. Apparently it was because they didn’t like how close he was to his brother.

“Look,” he pleads as he follows me out of the room and into the kitchen, “all he has ever done is look out for me and I try to do the same by being the one person in his life that isn’t treating everything with dead seriousness. I’m an adult, not a funeral director.”

“Fine,” I shrug, turning to find him peeling open another fruit snacks package. “I can’t believe he told you I put his balls in my mouth.” 

“Oh, he didn’t.” A smile unfurls across his face and he pops a red Scooby-Doo shaped treat into his mouth. “But you just did.”

His hair is dark, wet and pushed back from his face. So different from the tousled, boyish bedhead I’m so used to seeing on him. His face is clearer this way, freshly washed and glowing golden from the sun.

“Mm, was kinda hoping you’d be in bed when I got out of there.” He winks at me as he walks towards the kitchen. “Fucking contractor might never work with me again.”

“I'm sorry, baby.”

Exhaustion is heavy in his eyes, though, as he comes back, beer in hand, and settles himself in close on the couch. “What are you sorry for, pretty girl?”

“That you work with douchebags,” I respond.

“It is what it is,” he shakes his head and takes a sip. “I’ll be the boss soon so it doesn’t fucking matter, shit’s just frustrating when I’m so scared all this is going to fail and I’ll have to go back to getting bitched at.”

Planting my elbow into the back of the couch, I turn my whole body towards his and study him—the curve of his nose, the freckles on his face and arms, the way his dark lashes brush the swell of his cheeks. Head in my hands, I tell him I’m also sorry for not being in bed when he got out of the shower.

He huffs a laugh, chest rising and falling with the small sound. “Probably for the best, sweetheart, I don’t smell any food which tells me all you’ve had is coffee and”—he takes another sip, big dark eyes taking me in when they open again—“you’d really need your strength for what I want to do to you.”

“Well… then I guess I’m sorry for telling your brother I suck your balls.”

“You what?” He sits up, eyes blinking slowly as if that would make him hear me better. “You told Tommy Miller what now, baby?”

Taking the bottle from him, I take a sip for myself and hand it back to him desperately fighting the face I want to make. “He made a joke,” I say. “I said I can’t believe you told him that and he acted like he was the world’s greatest spy to get it out of me.”

A deep breath and then another, pulls off the Modelo in his hand between each one as beats pass by us. Occasionally, his face twitches like he’s running through scenarios in which Tommy could use this information against him and he doesn’t like the future he’s predicted. 

Finally, he sits back again, resting his head as he scoots down, and my fingers find purchase in his waterlogged curls. “Sarah get off okay?”

“Mm.” My answer is lost in a yawn that he easily catches. “I gave her twenty bucks for the arcade.”

“Shit,” he breathes. “I meant to do that earlier, baby, thank you. I’ll pay you back.”

“Don't worry about it.”

“It’s not your responsibility,” Joel insists. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to—“

“Stop,” I try to mimic the same stern tone he used on Tommy earlier but I know I’m failing. “I don’t feel obligated, I just want her to have fun. Besides”—I grab the bottle again—“you never let me take you on a date, you can at least let me make sure she has a good time with her friends.” 

His head moves against my shoulder the same way it did against the pillows in the early hours of this morning—back and forth like he’s burrowing himself in—and he expresses gratitude again. 

We sit together trading sips back and forth in silence for I don’t know how long, eyes half closing as the beer warms through my veins in the moments the bottle is traded off into his hands.

Suddenly, the phone starts to ring again and he lets out a half frustrated scream as he pulls it out of his pocket. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Him?”

“Yeah,” he says.

Before he can press the answer button, though, I take the phone and send the call to voicemail before throwing it into the chair adjacent to us.

“Baby—”

“You said it yourself,” I cut him off. “You’re the boss soon; you did your job correctly yesterday and it’s not your fault there's a mess now.” 

Pressing his head back into me, he covers his face with his hands and takes a deep breath. “Thank you, baby,” he breathes up at me, fingers sliding easily through his clean hair. “And what about you? I got in real late last night, you were already knocked out on the couch and you slept a long time. How do you feel?”

“Honestly? I think I could go for a nap, work was brutal yesterday.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I breathe out. “No death, thank God. But lots of people shitting their brains out left and right. This E.Coli outbreak is no joke and they’re already prepping us for flu season so I need to take you and Sarah for your shots soon.”

He hums into my stomach as he slips down to lay his head in my lap. “It's a good thing you don't have to worry too hard about flu season, huh?” He asks. “You won’t be there for it.”

“It's still good to have the information and be prepared, Joel,” I insist. “Especially since I might not have to deal with the flu season as a nurse but you will be in that hospital as a contractor.”

He laughs, says he forgot about that part. All the events of the week with Tommy’s court date and the doubles they’ve been pulling to give themselves as much of a cushion as possible going into the autumn months on their own has left him exhausted and forgetful.

“Fine,” he breathes out, turning to curl into my stomach. “Order a pizza and brief me on the flu season when it gets here, I’m taking a nap.”

He falls easily into sleep almost the moment he says that, his soft snores pushed into my belly falling out between deep and steady breaths. Since I went back to work, I feel like it’s been a while since we both just sat here in each other’s presence—the comfortable, safe silence we hold for one another. 

We’re back to mismatched schedules and late nights in bed with tired movements and tired eyes. I haven’t even bothered going to bed early, always trying to stay up just to see him after he’s pulled a double. Six shifts stands between me and later nights in my home with my family. Two weeks stands between him and freedom of calling his own shots beyond biting off more than he can chew.

Sweeping his curls back, I watch a soft smile push into the dimple that pockets his cheek while ordering food for the afternoon. He looks so content and happy, like all his headaches have melted away to the point he can’t even fathom having one anymore. 

I try not to think about the insecurities that have built up in me with the knowledge that he got permission weeks ago. Not that they aren’t in my mind constantly but I do try and it helps the most to tamp them down when he’s beside me like this; safe and warm in his own way.

September 18, 2003:

“Oh, fuck me, Joel, right there,” I breathe out. “Please don’t stop.”

He shushes me but it doesn’t work as he falls into laughter when I cut him off with what very well might as well be a soundbite straight from porn. “We’re going to scar the child for life and all I’m doing is rubbing your feet.”

“Not for life,” I say. “She'll understand when she’s in her thirties and her feet hurt after a long day at work.”

His head shakes even as he starts giggling again. “You are such a goddamn pain in the ass, sweetheart,” he grins out. “You gonna tell me what else went down at work today besides it being long? I haven’t seen you this worn out in a minute.”

“Honestly, I’m seeing so much food poisoning that I'm afraid to eat anything at all,” I tell him, taking my foot back and sitting up to face him in bed. It’s late. Not so late that I run the risk of oversleeping my alarm but late enough that my eyelids are dragging down further and further no matter how hard I try to fight it. “Apparently more foods are going to be announced recalled soon but I don’t know what they are and I’m really not understanding how E.Coli is spreading through some of these things, I’ve honestly never even seen it behave like this.”

His face pinches up. “How do you mean?” He asks, shifting his own body to sit up further. “I know I'm a dumb son of a bitch but hearing you be scared over something medical scares me. How bad is this?”

“So, E.Coli is a bacterial infection that impacts the intestinal tract. Usually after a couple of days with treatment, it’s done and you’re good to go, you’ll just need to start eating solid foods again. Joel, I have patients I did intake for last week still admitted to the hospital, they can’t keep anything down and it has weakened their immune system to the point that they’re getting pulmonary fungal infections.”

“English, please.” 

“Joel, there is mold growing in their lungs and, at first, we thought maybe the hospital had a mold problem but today we were admitting people who were exhibiting these symptoms and they hadn’t been in the hospital at all, they haven’t even had E.Coli but some are smokers and others aren’t.”

“So we stay away from cigarettes?” He clarifies.

“And mushrooms,” I remind him. “The FDA put out another statement that they’re still receiving reports of contaminated mushrooms in all fifty states and, honestly, I’m tempted to start making you and Sarah wear surgical masks everywhere that isn't this house.”

Joel takes a deep breath and nods. “If that’ll make you feel better, I’m happy to do so.”

Watching as he gets up to go to the bathroom, I tell him that I know it would get him shit, Sarah too, and he just laughs. “You think I give a shit about getting shit? I’ll just tell ‘em all that my doctor was worried about the sawdust particles hanging around and I’ll give Sarah permission to start throwing punches because I’m sick of those little assholes.”

We ended up having to go up to the school on Monday. The principal called Joel and said that he should get down there for an emergency meeting and Joel called asking me to meet him there. I thought that maybe the fight had finally happened even though Sarah said she took our advice and just continued to ignore them; she said they’d started leaving her alone. We all figured they’d gotten bored.

When we got into the office, Sarah was sitting in the counselor’s room crying and asked if either of us had a hat she could wear. 

The girls didn’t get bored. Instead, they just waited until they could be the worst possible versions of themselves and I’ve never seen her so sad or Joel so livid. 

We’d gotten her hair done on Sunday after Sarah mentioned liking Andrea’s braids. It took hours and she was so happy and confident, even had the cutest little butterfly clips throughout and, during science class, the one that tried to trip Sarah cut half her braids off. 

I’ve never heard Joel yell like that and the punishment ended up in suspension for the girl as well as her parents offering to pay to have Sarah’s hair done again. I kept her out on Tuesday and she asked to just go back to how it was before, she’d try again after we got back from Wyoming.

“Swear to god, baby,” he says, turning the light off after he’s washed his hands. “If you hadn’t been there, I probably would’ve punched that little girl's father.”

“She's suspended for two weeks, Joel,” I remind him. “Two weeks and she is required to take her exams no matter her grade and the principal took away her extracurriculars for the semester, if you had punched her father they probably would’ve punished Sarah, too.”

“We should put her in a different high school,” he says, laying himself down next to me. “We should put her in one of those art schools, she really liked that pottery class.”

“She wants to play soccer,” I insist. “The best place for her to be for that is the high school she’s going to and there are little fucking assholes in art school, too. However, when we come back from Wyoming, I think that we should look at changing Sarah’s schedule so she doesn’t share any classes with these girls and I want to talk to Susan about how much it hurts Sarah’s feelings that McKenzie is still entertaining their friendship because she doesn’t feel like she can go to sleepovers anymore.”

“She told you that?” He asks. “God, how are you already a better parent than I am?”

“I'm not a better parent than you,” I laugh. “I think I’m just a woman who makes her feel safe and she can confide in me about things.” I push his curls back and fight the smile spreading across my face as he leans into my touch. “It makes me really happy that both of you feel safe with me and I’ll do everything I can to keep that trust.”

“Even making sure something scars ugly on people who are mean to us?”

“Even that, Joel,” I confirm. “Unethical as it is.”

He pushes his face into me, arms wrapped tight around me, and breathes deep with a declaration of love on his lips as he exhales. It’s late and I’m exhausted, I know he is, too, but I would rather fight my heavy eyelids right now than stop looking at him.

I lose, of course, but not before I catch him mumbling that I am a better parent than him. So much better than him and he can’t wait to see how I translate that into parenting an infant.

“How many?” I ask.

“So many,” he whispers. “Sarah deserves to be a big sister to as many as you feel like giving her.” 

Breathing evened out against me, I’m not even sure he knows what he’s saying but so much is starting to make sense. He told me a few weeks ago that he wanted more kids but he couldn’t do it alone again. He got permission not long after that but hasn’t asked the question. We’re a family unit to him—we have been for a while. But there are micro-tears in his confidence in it where his past fears are seeping through, only really present in the daylight when he can consciously tiptoe around them.

But, at night, with no lights on him and fuzzy focus drifting control off and away, he pours out what he truly wants because he’s working up to asking for it.

September 23, 2003:

“Hey, you weren’t here when I woke up,” he says, hand dipped beneath the waistband of his boxers as he scratches at his lower stomach. He curls into my side of the bed and takes a deep, exaggerated breath. “Had to sit here and hump your pillow waiting for you.”

Lifting his arm, I lay myself down in the space and press my face into the crook of his neck, taking a similar breath to the one he did. He’s been keeping his face shaved for business meetings, said he felt it looked more professional than whatever the fuck sad ass shit he has the audacity to call a beard, but now it’s growing back in the lead up to our trip and I can’t stop rubbing my face against it.

“And you call me a cat,” he laughs out.

“What time are we dropping off the truck?” I ask. “It's gotta be before we see Dr. Bonner.”

Joel hums and it vibrates all the way through my body along with his. “I was thinking we could drop it off around ten and then go grab an early lunch before your appointment?” He goes up an octave on that last word, framing it as a question when I know he actually won’t let me dare skip a meal. “Then Starbucks to spoil you and the kid and you can drop me off at the build to make sure shit was done right before Tommy signs off for the day.”

“He coming for dinner?” I ask. “Or is he gonna go out to chase some college girls around the bars?”

“Oh, well, you know him,” he mumbles into the crown of my head, “they see those dimples and that jackass cowboy charm and he gets laid.”

“Poor boy,” I say. “He's got such a hard time.”

“Yeah, so long as he stays out of trouble, he can chase whatever tail in whatever bar he chooses.” 

Tommy’s wearing his nicest boots when I drop Joel off, that shit eating grin of jackass cowboy charm as his brother calls it wide across his face as he takes the coffee I told Joel to buy for him.

“Don't get in trouble this week, Tommy,” I beg him, watching Joel’s retreating back walk into the new build. “No drinking.” I search his eyes for a hint of his thoughts. “Please, Tommy, you are on mighty thin ice with Travis County sheriff’s department and it could cost y’all the hospital job and he is so stressed out about it.”

My therapy sessions have sometimes turned into mine and Joel’s therapy sessions, including today where he shared his anxiety over putting the truck in the body shop to get the business name when he’s not even sure the business name will last longer than one job. Partly because of his brother’s run ins with the law, and his refusal to get help, because he thinks communication is bullshit and he can get by with a nod and a smile.

He hits me with both now and promises that he’ll be on his best behavior.

“I love you to death, Thomas Miller, and your brother will never punch you but I fucking will. Do you understand?”

“Yes ma’am,” he answers. “Love you, too, Sonny girl.” 

He sends me off with a message to give to Sarah, something about some soap opera plot point because he was watching on the build and thought it was funny. She, on the other hand, thinks it’s sad—the main character lost her entire family in a series of tragic events. 

“I guess the funny part is how she reacted to it all,” I suggest. “You know your uncle has a sick sense of humor, bug.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. It’s not rainy but it's not sunny either and that seems to be hanging on her.

“You alright?”

She shrugs. “Yeah, I just got a catalogue for the classes I can take next year at the high school and I thought pottery would be in there but it isn’t.”

She really liked that workshop.

“Maybe it’s in the higher grades.”

“It's not in any of the grades,” she says, big eyes up to the sky through the window. “I asked. It’s just home ec or wood working and I know how to do both of those things.”

“Could be an easy grade,” I say. “We can go to more of those little classes independently if you want.” Even as I say it, I know it’s not quite good enough for what exactly she wants—consistency in the art, time to build on her skills and the quality of what she can make. 

I’m already deciding to look into equipment needed to give her a small home studio for Christmas when she turns towards me. “I want to get daddy’s watch fixed for his birthday.”

“He'd really like that,” I say. “Man might as well be walking around blind without that thing on his wrist—do you need money for it?” I ask.

Her dimples pull her smile back, cheeks pushing up against her eyes. “I would not mind that.” 

“Okay, well”—I gesture to the door and get out of the car—“your daddy thinks I spoil you so I’ll leave about sixty in the top drawer next to his watch, grab that in the morning and go to our neighbors’ shop after school, they’ll give you a good deal.”

“Can I come to the hospital after?” She asks. “I wanna see Andrea, I know it’s her birthday soon, too, I made her a card.”

Taking a deep breath, I steady myself at the door and kick my shoes off. I haven't told her about what’s been going on; I don’t want to scare her. Not when Mrs. Adler and the teachers at her school keep going on about biowarfare and weapons of mass destruction. “I'd prefer if you didn’t,” I tell her, watching her face fall. “It’s just that the emergency room has been really busy lately, UT is dealing with the bullshit of rush week and people who would usually go there are overflowing to us.” If she can tell it’s a lie, she doesn’t show it. “We’ll have a movie night when we get back from Wyoming.”

“Promise?” She asks.

“Like your daddy’s always saying”—I turn and look at her on my way towards the kitchen to make a grocery list—“on my life.” 

September 24, 2003:

The phone goes to voicemail for the second time and I can feel nerves snaking their way up my throat as I feel the frustration rise up in me. Taking a deep breath, I press redial and all but hold my breath in some attempt at schooling my beating heart.

“Baby?” He picks up on the third ring this time. “Are you okay?” 

"Do you know what brand the flour is at home?” I ask him. “You know what,” I go on before he can answer me, “just throw it away—the pasta, too, and I don't know that I trust the frozen pizza in the fridge either.”

He laughs and I want to scream. “Are we suddenly allergic to wheat, Ali?” I can hear the power tools in the background, his petulant ass contractor barking orders like a tyrant. “I don’t think it’s fair to punish me and Sarah just because you—“ 

“It's the flour,” I tell him. “That's what’s making people sick, Joel. It’s flour and it’s tobacco and it’s mushrooms.”

He begs me to slow down and I take another breath, glancing up at the time to check how long I have on my break. “From the beginning, sweetheart.”

“Tobacco and wheat is sometimes grown together,” I tell him. “The farm that supplies the most to, like, all the brands had a contamination with animals getting into the crops, they defecated in the soil and mushrooms grew, that’s where the E.Coli and the fungal infections are coming from and it’s really fucking bad, Joel, so please toss the flour when you get home.”

I can practically hear him nod and he tells me he has to go. “I'll take care of it, pretty girl, just do me a favor and take a breath, okay? You’ve got two more days and we will avoid all the flour and all the tobacco until you deem it safe again.”

“Do you promise?” I’m close to tears and I feel irrational but it’s bad today, it’s so fucking bad. The products in question have been on the shelves for a bit but are really only starting to come up now with stock rotation in the grocery stores—always put the earliest to expire first. That’s what people are grabbing and they’re getting sicker and sicker.

Part of me feels horrible for leaving the hospital at this time but I don't think I can do anymore. Truthfully, I cannot do this anymore. I wish I had made my notice earlier, I wish I was gone already. There are young kids in here; kids that are Chloe’s age; kid’s that are Sarah’s age. 

Joel tells me I can just come home tonight. I can come home and he won’t be mad if I don’t go back to work and when I tell him it’ll fuck up my vacation pay out he tells me he doesn’t give a fuck about that. All the worry about the business and if it’ll succeed or if it'll bankrupt us and he's telling me he doesn’t care about the money, he cares about me and my mental health and my wellbeing but I can't leave it like this. It’s not like me to leave and never come back, it’s not in my work ethic and it's not in my personal ethics either. 

“It's two days, Joel,” I remind him. “It's two days and then we go to Wyoming for a week and I won’t be so stressed out.” 

“And I’ll do that thing you like,” he whispers, low and drawn out, “when I’ve got you on all fours in bed, gorgeous. Hell, I’ll do it tonight if you want me to.”

“I'm so tired already, Joel,” I breathe out. “And don’t you dare focus on me while we’re on vacation, this is for your birthday.” 

“You act like I give a shit about myself,” he laughs out.

There’s yelling in the background, somebody calling for his help for something. I take the moment to remind him that after this week, he’s the boss; he gets to call the shots and bark the orders.

“And Joel?”

“Hmm?” 

“I really need you to give a shit about yourself,” I practically beg him. “I need you to care about your cholesterol and your happiness and your stress levels because Sarah and I need you and we need you to be okay.”

He laughs. “I ain’t that special, sweetheart.”

“I know you're making a joke but we’re in the middle of an epidemic that is getting worse with each fucking report so I need you to understand that you are everything to us and please don’t smoke that occasional cigarette I know you steal from Tommy and please throw that shit out before I get home.”

“What do you want me to tell Sarah?” He asks. "I don't want to scare her.”

“I don’t know, tell her you're on the Atkins diet or some shit and please order me beef and broccoli for dinner tonight but no egg rolls.”

He whistles low. “No egg rolls? It must be bad if you’re asking for those to be left out.”

“Yeah,” I say, the sadness and frustration I’ve felt all day giving out to defeat in my voice. “I'll see you at home, I love you.” 

There’s a crash behind him as he’s barely through his response, the call going dead beneath his quick goodbye and I’m left here in the break room wondering about Sarah and wondering if the school knows and wondering how the lunches are being made and if I should let them know.

But it’s a school, they’re usually the first to know about anything that could impact the kids, right after hospitals and other emergency services. I take a deep breath and check the clock. Four more hours. Four more hours of this and then twelve more hours and then twelve more after that.

Twenty-eight total hours until I can go home to my family and start figuring this all out; who I am to myself and who I am to them and this life we built together on the thread of a few stitches.

Taking a deep breath, I pull my mask back up and head for the doors to enter back into the chaos.

Twenty-eight total hours until I don’t have to live like this anymore.

September 26, 2003:

“Joel, wake up,” I whisper against him, nuzzling my nose into his cheek as I kiss against his lips.

He hums low and lazy, the question asking me what I want very clearly on display as his grip tightens on me.

Again, I encourage him to wake up with a nip at his earlobe, and the smallest bit of laughter I can give him without being obnoxious, as I feel him harden against my leg.

“Mm, is this a dream?” 

“It very much is not,” I confirm, telling him that it's just a little past five when he asks me what time it is. 

Barely being able to sleep aside, I wanted to be the first one to wish him a happy birthday. But it’s also my last day at work and I’m nervous and I need him in a way that I cannot fully explain, I just know I can’t wait until tonight or tomorrow in the hotel room in Wyoming.

He pushes himself up into the kiss I press into his lips and he helps me push his sweatpants off his hips and down his legs.

By the time I take him in hand he’s already leaking. I can tell by the way he throbs against my palm that if I looked down at him, he’d be an angry, almost purple color begging to fall apart inside of me.

Not that he has to wait long for what he wants. It’s half a sleepy fight for dominance but he lets me overpower him quickly because he’s just as desperate as I am now but lacks less than half the energy I have.

Heavy lids fight to open as his jaw drops slack, his tired brown eyes watching as I sink down on him. He doesn’t even have a view of anything until I’m taking my shirt off; pulled over my head and tossed to the side of the bed where my panties and his pants lay to give him a full view of everything we both want him to touch.

“Your tits look like a fucking pillow,” he slurs out, lazily grabbing at one with his rough hand. “Bend your cute little ass over and let me suck on it.” 

Hands braced on his chest, I do bend over him but not to give him what he’s asked for. “Happy birthday, baby,” I whisper into his lips, kissing softly at the open mouth that’s having trouble forming words. “You’re a good man and I love you,” I go on. “I can’t wait to be Mrs. Joel Miller, I can’t wait to be the mother of your children.”

A slow smile stretches across his face beneath another press of my lips to his and he starts giving words back over to me. 

How happy he is that he spent most of thirty-five with me and that he’ll now get all of thirty-six.

The way he thinks about how it would feel when there’s a ring on my finger beneath his grip as he we hold hands.

That he notices his heart rate steadies out the moment he sees me; that my presence takes away his stresses and the only fears he keeps when I’m around are the ones about me and Sarah because all that matters to him is his family.

He makes a joke, asks if I’m getting in a practice session before he’s got me riding horses all next week and laughs at his own joke on half a moan when I bite his neck.

“Fuck, I love you, baby,” he breathes out, strength building up in his muscles as he wakes up to the moment; grabbing against me in more than just a lazy way. “Best birthday ever and it’s not even really started yet.”

“You turned thirty-six at midnight, Joel, I think it’s you that hasn’t started yet.”

He takes it as a challenge, eyes going hard as his grip tightens around me and he switches our positions to push me down into the pillows instead of him.

“Most gorgeous girl in the whole world,” he says in the space between our lips. “Thank you for waking me up, I think I would’ve been really broken hearted if I woke up all alone on my birthday.”

Trying to tell him that I would never have let that happen, he punches the breath from my lungs on a thrust that hits up against that spot he knows better than I do by now. 

When my muscles tighten up, he shoves his tongue into my mouth to cut the possibility that anybody but him could hear and I can feel every ounce of his body weight bearing down on me as I push back up against him—my body desperate for all of his. 

“Is this our thing, huh?” He asks. “Wake up before the sun to make a mess of one another and then just go about our days?”

Breath coming out hard as I try to catch it, I push my head further back into the pillow and take every bit of him in.

The paling skin that hasn’t seen much sun between business meetings and inside work; the gentle slope of his nose and the faint scar I love so much; disheveled hair and beard; exhausted eyes and heavy lids.

He’s losing weight, too; body returning to the size he was when we met and not the puffed out chest that strained his clothes from double days on job sites. 

“Yeah,” I nod up at him, tucking my bottom lip beneath my teeth as he sits up on his knees between my legs to change the angle. “I think that’s our thing.”

Joel’s large hands rest on my hips and he pulls me up, back arching beneath his touch, just to start moving again with a steadier, more controlled rhythm.

A crooked, cocksure smile splits one side of his face as he encourages me up and over another edge with praising words and expletives until he meets me there with a deep sigh of relief.

“Best birthday ever,” he yawns out. "I swear, I could never have coffee again if I got to wake myself up between your soft, thick little thighs.”

“You’d never give up coffee for anything,” I laugh. “But nice try, baby.” 

His agreement comes in the form of his body crushing down on mine again, lips pressing into my forehead and then my nose and then my lips. “Don't go to work today,” he practically begs. “Stay in bed with me and don't worry about fungus or bacteria or temperatures or anything.”

He knows as well as I do that it doesn’t work like that and I tell him so, squeezing my legs tighter around his waist as I do just before reminding him that I should get up and shower and get ready for the day.

“Don’t shower,” he says on a smile, watching me crawl out from beneath him and head towards the bathroom. “Don’t wash me off of you,” he pleads. "Don't wash me out of you, Alison.” 

I’m losing my fucking mind today.

Everything is so much worse and only getting more fucked up by the second.

We down several nurses because of fever and the doctors can’t keep up; I’ve only passed by Drea and others, the only form of communication passing our lips being yelling until our throats are raw as every floor of the hospital is bending to respond to this.

Our last pandemic response training was last year and it feels like those protocols don’t even fucking matter here, everything is changing by the minute and I can’t even catch a break to hear Joel’s or Sarah’s voices.

We didn't even tell Sarah what’s going on, we’ve just been covering up my stress and the change in diet with excuses of death and Atkins which she knows is bullshit. She has to. She’s not stupid and the moment Tommy suggested he was going to follow that diet because a girl he liked was doing it, I tore him up one side and down the other for talking that trash in front of Sarah; for encouraging her to keep him accountable.

I’d screamed at him that the brain needs carbs to survive and pushing that shit on a teenage girl who’s still growing showed he didn’t have much left so he needed to be careful that he didn’t lose the rest.

But I couldn’t bring myself to tell her about any of it—to scare her. Joel agreed to play forgetful about grabbing ingredients; the pancake mix; the cake mix. He promised she wouldn’t think much of it from him because he does that sometimes and she understands things have been insane with the business.

Around six, they ask if I can stay for a few hours beyond my shift. They don’t care that it’s my last day, they don’t care that I’m supposed to say goodbye. They’re down several pairs of hands and fucking scrambling and are promising me triple overtime if I stay for a few more hours. 

I think of Joel saying he doesn’t care about the fucking money but I can’t say no to this. Not when regular overtime is time and a half and they’re offering me triple that. They intentionally schedule me off on holidays so they don’t have to pay me or Drea the time and a half and they’re offering me triple. That’s over a hundred dollars for every hour past my twelve that I stay—I can’t say no to that.

With that information, I take the break I haven’t been allowed since I walked onto the floor and duck into the break room with my phone pressed to my ear.

It doesn’t take several redials this time, he picks up on the first ring with an apology that he’s not home yet; he’s working a double on his fucking birthday because they’re down several pairs of hands as well and he’s on the same page with me about money. We’re more than fine to get the business going, to last us through vacation and unemployment and getting supplies and payroll started on building a crew but we want to make sure it stays more than fine. 

Emergencies crop up all the time, especially with kids, and neither of us want to be caught fully off guard.

“I'll be home late,” both of us say at once. 

“Please don’t wait for me to open your presents,” I whisper down the line. “Maybe drop by the store and grab some ice cream, baby, she really had her heart set on a cake and I feel bad.”

“Y'all got me presents?” He asks, ignoring the request. “You didn’t have to do that, sweetheart.” 

“Shut the fuck up, Joel,” I laugh out. “We don’t ever have to do anything, we do it because we love you so accept that or I’m kicking your ass.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he agrees, accent low and drawn out. “I can’t stop thinking about this morning.” I can practically feel the grip of his hand on my hip as the plastic of the phone creaks beneath it now. “Every time somebody says some dumb shit, I just keep thinking about how you looked so fucking angelic on top of me this morning; keep wondering if I’m still in you.” 

“How many people are around you right now, Joel Alexander?”

“None,” he says and I can hear that cocky ass smile in his voice. “We’re down several hands, remember?”

When I don’t say anything he whistles out for my attention, asks me where my head is at. Truth be told, my head is filled with the sad excuse for breathing I’ve been hearing all day but his deep voice is doing its best to overtake that.

“Yeah,” I tell him, heat flooding up my face. “You are.” 

“I adore every fucking part of you.” He sounds far away and I know where his mind is again, thinking about where he’ll be in the morning and tomorrow and the day after that.

“Don't operate power tools when you’re thinking with your other head,” I remind him. “It's way too busy in here for me to stitch your fucking face back together, you’ll have to wait a lot longer than three fucking hours and you’ll be lucky to get a cubicle because I’m doing most of my job in the hallway today.”

He laughs and I hear Tommy in the background making fun of the bright red of Joel’s cheeks, asking if he’s talking to his pretty girl and just what the fuck is she saying to make him look like that. “I love you, PG,” he says. “I'll see you at home.” 

My extra hours are more than just a few and I am close to giving out, especially with the way these patients are behaving.

Maybe I should’ve milked the panic attacks like Joel asked me to, maybe I shouldn't have ever come back. Maybe I should’ve ate the fucking vacation pay just to stay in bed with him.

This level of aggression is too much to handle. These patients are angry and they are taking it out on the people trying to help them, unimpressed with the answer that we barely know what's going on either and trying to take our masks off because god forbid they’re not getting a smiling face in their bedside service from the nurses providing care on the vinyl flooring.

It’s eleven when I’m done for good, pulling off my gloves and telling the people in charge that I can’t do anymore. Two months ago, I was coddled with broken ribs and a bruised neck insisting that I didn’t need a CT scan and that there was no chance I was pregnant after one patient attacked me. Now I’ve spent the day getting kicked and hit and bitten like I’m working a shift on the fucking psychiatric floor and even that wasn’t the final straw. 

I'm still wiping the spit off my face when the first cramp hits my stomach, doubled over with a cough crawling up the length of my throat and I want to scream.

Hours in this fucking bright light bullshit and I was about to get a break.

A real one—a good one.

The one that I fucking deserve and earned in years of razor thin PTO and overworking myself to the bone just to not think about a singular goddamn thing—including how my life could be good and what a future might look like for me beyond just being the reliable friend who spends her nights alone if she spends them out of the hospital at all.

They didn’t want to pay me for the holidays but I still took them, happily snatching shifts from working parents so they could spend Christmas with their babies and now I understand why they gave up that money. Because their kids aren’t going to care about the fucking money when they’re older, they’ll just remember if mom or dad weren’t home when they were wanted and I stayed here for money instead of going home where I was wanted by a man who meant nothing to me this time last year and the daughter he insists might as well be mine, too.

My entire life and priorities have changed in nine months.

It happens all the time like that. 

Only nine months is needed to make a family; except mine didn’t really come with a physical gestational period and my baby isn't a baby at all but a fourteen year old girl looking up to a thirty year old woman the way I was at her age.

I can’t bring this home to her—I will not put her at risk.

Coughing again, I pick up the phone and dial his number, hoping he’s home. Somebody should be with her, he should’ve opened his presents. I hope he bought her ice cream.

“Hey,” his sleepy voice comes through the receiver. “I was just about to call you, I thought you’d be home by now.”

“I can’t come home, Joel.”

He’s shaking his head because I know the sounds that accompany the movement so well by now—the deep sigh; the covered eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“I'm coughing,” I tell him. “One of the patients pulled my mask off, spit in my face, and now I’m coughing and my stomach is cramping and I know my immune system is weak because I’ve barely eaten a damn thing all day, Joel, I am running on fucking fumes and I am coughing.”

“I need you to come home right now,” he says, voice stern and commanding. “I'm coming to get you.” 

“Don't you dare,” I tell him. “I have the apartment until November, I’ll sleep there.”

“We have a flight at fucking five in the morning, Alison.”

“Listen to me, Joel,” I beg. “The incubation period on this is so quick that it’s almost fucking negligent so I will still be in Wyoming with you and Sarah but I am not making that flight, okay?”

“Then we’ll all take another—“

I feel the frustration of exhaustion and hunger and fear rising up in me and I don’t want to yell. I don’t want to yell because it’s not conducive to this conversation but also because it hurts. “Joel,” I interrupt on a deep breath, “please do me a favor and go on to Wyoming, I will call the airline and have my ticket switched to tomorrow night, I just need to make sure I don’t develop a fever, okay?” I know I’m begging him but I don't know what else to do. “If I don’t develop a fever then this cough is from a long day with nothing in my stomach and the cramps are likely from that, too, just—“ Another deep breath as I concentrate through another cramp, my stomach rolling in desperation for something other than air and bile to be combined in the bottom. “I love you and I will see you tomorrow.”

Joel releases a hard breath and I know his head has fallen back into the couch, probably pressed his fingers to his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up further so he can better comprehend. “I'll see you tomorrow,” he repeats. “You promise that?” He laughs and I can feel him trying to lighten the mood; my tears; his frustration. “You sure this isn’t your way of finally telling me to fuck off, sweetheart?”

“You're fucking stuck with me,” I reassure him. “Both of you.”

He hums his approval and my heart breaks because I wish I could feel the vibrations of that sound through his body and on my lips at his throat as it pushes out of his mouth. I could be home with him right now, making him make those noises out of pleasure instead of his response to how I comfort all of his fears. Because that’s what it is, when he asked me. It was fear—it always is. Fear that I am going to leave him, that every goodbye will be the last and I’ll disappear just like the last one did and the wife he had before that.

“Is she there?” I ask him, one arm slung low across my abdomen as I sit in the car waiting to hear both of their voices so I can start it, wishing it was home that I could go to because my bed at the apartment isn’t mine anymore. It’ll feel like being sick in a hotel room except this one will be filled with boxes of donations and not a bit of food in the cabinets. “Can I talk to her?”

“She's here,” he yawns out. “But I’m a fucking dick and got home real late so she’s asleep with her cute little head tucked up against my thigh and I would wake her up for you but—“

“You wanna savor your little girl still being a little girl and feeling safe with you,” I finish for him, his laughter following only to ask if he sounds completely fucking pathetic. “You are so far from pathetic,” I tell him. “You really are the best man I’ve ever known, Joel Miller.” 

“Pig shit,” he breathes out. “God, I miss you already and I know what your motivation is behind this but I’m almost willing to risk it just to feel you next to me tonight.” 

“I'm not.”

“I know," he says. “It's why I'm not pressuring you and I told Sarah we have to wear masks on the plane tomorrow and at the airport.”

“Please.”

Several beats stretch between us, silent and comfortable even through the telephone until sirens cut cleave through that peace to announce yet another arrival to an already overflowing sick ward.

“I love you,” I tell him again. “Now that I’ve said it, it’s so hard to stop and I wish I’d done it sooner,” I say. “I wish I’d done it the moment I met you but you probably wouldn’t have come back until I gave you my coffee order and you definitely wouldn’t have sat in my car with me acting like we’ve known each other all our lives a whole week later.” 

“It was two,” he laughs. “Your math is shit and you’re wrong as hell, because I saw those big hazel eyes and wanted nothing but to be near you all the time so I need you to go rest and feel better and get your cut little ass to Wyoming tomorrow afternoon because I need you there with me; I have plans.”

“Plans?” I ask, pushing the fallen tears I hope he can’t hear away from my eyes. "What plans?”

“You'll just have to find out,” he grins out. “Won't you?”

Taking a deep breath, I call him back from the edge of all his jokes and that same stupid charm he swears only Tommy has. “I know Sarah’s asleep, but can you do something for me?”

“What's that, sweetheart?”

“Tell her I love her.” 

Author's Note:

I started writing this story in December after I had been laid off from my job. I never thought it was a story that many would like beyond my own small group of friends and to say that I have been overwhelmed and that I am so grateful by the response and the very kind words feels like it's a misrepresentation because I seriously stare at some of these comments sometimes and I just think to myself, "That's the nicest thing I've ever read." So thank you all for being the nicest people in the whole wide world and sticking with me through this story. I was so close to beginning the story with a note above January that said, 'This is not a love story.' For me, it's not. It's just a story about love - self, familial, platonic, romantic - revolving around two people forming all of those bonds with one another but also the bonds they're building with the others in each other's lives. I don't know if any of that makes sense but I'm so excited that I get to end this the way that I planned.

But this is not The End.

[forsworned]

could I pls request the hashiras w/ a sensitive s/o ( they get upset easily etc . ) and how they’d react to someone accidentally saying something that made them cry ??

gender neutral reader if possible

if you don’t wanna write for all the hashira , feel free to pick your favourites or something , I don’t really mind tbh

thank you in advance ! ! ! have a wonderful day / noon / night 💞

a/n: thank you for requesting again!! this was lowkey hella hard to do dude so i'm really sorry for how long this took. i managed to get all the hashira in and kept it pg obviously for muichiro since he is underage but i left him as is. i was legit brain dead writing this but here you go!

𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕘𝕦𝕜𝕠 𝕜𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕛𝕦𝕣𝕠𝕦 ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

He doesn't take well to it, but he also understands that the fellow Demon Slayer was only trying to give you constructive criticism. Kyoujurou would scramble at first not knowing how to react since it was the first time he'd ever seen you so distraught. But then he'd finally recollect himself and dismiss the slayer and get back to you.

But just as he finally got himself together you'd throw yourself in his arms and blubber like a baby. Which again would have him flustered at first, but he'd soon chuckle and hold your face in his hands. A chaste kiss on your forehead that would cease your weeping.

"You know, my little flame, you're quite cute when you cry."

You looked up from his tear soaked uniform to his blazing eyes, gazing down at you lovingly. It sent your heart racing and you could no longer look at him. So you did what any other person would do if they were madly in love Kyo and couldn't look him in the eyes. You buried your face back into his chest while the heat rushed to your cheeks. The sound of laughter escaping his lips once more as you smiled against his damp uniform.

𝕘𝕚𝕪𝕦𝕦 𝕥𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕠𝕜𝕒 ₍ᐢ ̥ ͉ ̥ᐢ₎

He doesn't exactly think it through, just does. So in one swoop motion he'd carry you out of there and gave the fellow slayer any icy glare that had them shivering to their core. You'd be shocked at how quickly he'd get you out of that situation and he'd stop at an isolated area for you guys to be alone.

"U-um, Giyuu?" You'd stutter, as you rubbed your eyelids and looked at him with eyes are big as saucers.

"Are you alright?" His stunning cerculean blue gaze was piercing through your heart.

"Y-yeah. You can put me down now." His face automatically vermillion with agitation at the realization of you being in his arms. He firmly planted you on the ground and turned away to avoid looking at you. You laughed at how cute he looked when becomes embarrassed and slipped your arms around him from behind as you buried your face in his back.

"Thank you, my love."

𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕟 𝕦𝕫𝕦𝕚 ₍ᐢ ̥ ̮ ̥ᐢ₎ *:･。

"Eh?! Why are you crying [name]?"

It wasn't the first time he'd see you crying, but he was very perplexed by the sight in front of him. He didn't think much of it when the lower rank demon slayer was simply advising you to be more careful on the next mission. His ruby glare burred holes into the back of their heads.

"Why the hell did you make them cry for? It's not very flamboyant of you." He was menancing to say the least. It caused the demon slayer to stammer on his words until you spoke up rubbing at your eyes.

"It's not their fault, Tengen. I just get emotional. You know this." You sniffled as you tried your best to regain your composure. A soft 'tch' left his lips before he carried you on his shoulder which gave rise to a squeal from you.

"Put me down!"

He smacked your bottom and chuckled devilishly.

"Nah, I think we're gonna change that whiney mood of yours right up!"

𝕠𝕓𝕒𝕟𝕒𝕚 𝕚𝕘𝕦𝕣𝕠 U ´꓃ ` U

He doesn't waste anytime elbowing the person into the ground. Not only for just talking to you, but making you cry?! Oh, buddy. You're in for the beating of a lifetime.

"Obanai!" You exclaimed. Your tear stained face contorted into worry as you watched the now pummeled slayer knock out cold.

"That'll teach him. I'll make sure he never sees the light of day the next time he even looks in your direction." He sneered at them and then looked at you with gentle eyes. "Are you alright?"

You nodded as he dabbed away at your face and caressed you cheek.

"Alright, let's go then."

He stated before getting up and taking your hand in his as he dragged you away from the scene.

"Wait! Shouldn't we help him?" You were glad that Obanai cared that much about you, but he really shouldn't just go around attacking people like that and leaving them unconscious.

"No, Shinobu will take care of that eyesore."

𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕠𝕓𝕦 𝕜𝕠𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕦 Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

"You must have a death wish."

The tone in her voice was so venomous yet sickly sweet it almost could've been enough to kill you. The nerve in her temple popping out as the demon slayer who was unfortunate enough to accidentally make you cry shuddered in fear.

"Shinobuuu." You whined. "Please leave them alone. They didn't mean any harm!"

Her eyes went soft when she saw you in your distressed state and then back to her vicious glare when it was back on them. "Run along now."

Her voice still even, yet scary. The demon slayer bowed quickly before escaping leaving you two alone. Shinobu sighed as she caressed your cheek.

"You're so delicate, sometimes." Your shoulders slumped at her words. It wasn't for long because Shinobu decided to plant a kiss on your nose and giggled. "Ara, ara, [name]-chan. You're still my sweet butterfly."

Shinobu didn't show much PDA, but when she did it made your heart implode and she was absolutely, 1000% aware of this.

𝕞𝕚𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕚 𝕜𝕒𝕟𝕣𝕠𝕛𝕚 ʕ♡˙ᴥ˙♡ʔ

Her face would get all puffed up and red as she watched you cry from a few feet away, that is until you started to hug the person that was causing the "commotion".

"I hope you find peace." You said softly as you pulled away. The person thanked you and bowed with tears in their eyes before stepping away.

"[Name], are you okay?!" Mitsuri exclaimed as she hugged you with all her might. You had to tap out for her to let go. She noticed this and you gasped for air as she apologized endlessly.

"I'm okay, Mitsuri. Their family was attacked by demons and I managed to save one member and they just came to thank me in person." You vigorously swabbed at your eyes with your sleeves before smiling again at your lovely wife. Mitsuri didn't realize her strength and sometimes that would lead to her infamous death hugs.

"Oh, [name]! You are so heroic!" She squeaked with joy as she squeezed you again, this time with less agnozing pressure. You hugged her back as you laid your head on her shoulder and thanked God your partner was as lovely as she was.

𝕘𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕚 𝕙𝕚𝕞𝕖𝕛𝕚𝕞𝕒 ₍ᐢ｡ ˬ ｡ᐢ₎

His towering height alone was enough to have the culprit who made you cry shaking in their boots. Gyomei would simply ignore that he sent that person pissing themselves and would lift you in his arms as he dabbed away at your tears with his hankerchief.

"Dont cry, my flower. They're not worth your precious tears." He'd murmur against the apple of your cheek as he kissed it. This would instantly boost your mood and have you throwing your arms around him and squeezing him tight. You'd plant the biggest kiss on his cheek causing him to blush.

"Thank you, Gyo."

𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕞𝕚 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕫𝕦𝕘𝕒𝕨𝕒 ʕ； •`ᴥ•´ʔ

Anger. Kind of a no brainer. He'd go off on the person who made you cry and in return would make them cry and run far, far away. He'd comfort you by giving you a nice, bear hug and kiss on the top of your forehead whilst asking if you were ok. You'd end up laughing with tears still in your eyes and obviously this would puzzle him.

"What are you laughing about?"

"You just scared the bejeezus out of that guy and sent him crying!"

He'd chuckle and bring you back in for another warm hug and your face would nuzzle the crook of his neck.

"I'll send anyone crying for you."

𝕞𝕦𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕠 𝕥𝕠𝕜𝕚𝕥𝕠 ₍ᐢ ̥ ̞ ̥ᐢ₎ ♥

Much like when he showed his distain towards Tanjiro when he interrupted Oyakata-sama. He would be watching from a distance, and fiercely flick pebbles at a scary fast velocity that was deadly enough to pierce a hole through the person who dared to talk down to you. But, of course, he held back since it was only a mere human but it was enough to send them to groveling on their knees.

You'd wipe your tears away and turn in the direction it came from to see Muichiro smiling at you while tossing a pebble up and down in hand. He was always watching over you.

[mshomestyle]

Could you do Aizawa as a dad? Idk why, I just love Dadzawa. If you don’t have time to, it’s totally fine! :)

Dadwaza is the best!

-At first glance and assumption, Aizawa comes across as grumpy. It would seem to the naked eye that he hass no toleration for taking care of others, but those first lookers would be wrong.

-Anyone that comes under Aizawa's care is always protected and thought about. So, it was a no brainer for you to have kids with him.

-When you became pregnant, Aizawa was easy to get into the dad mindset. He automatically wanted his child to be safe.

-When you brought your baby girl home, your husband seemed to have no problem with waking up in the middle of the night to check on her, making sure she was happy and comfortable, changing her diaper, feeding her a bottle when you needed some down time, etc.

-He also made no complaints when taking care of his daughter either, and when she would cry, he was quick to remedy the situation without feeling annoyed at all.

-As your baby grew, and you had a couple more, you realized that Aizawa was kind of better than you were at parenting. So, you decided to ask him his secret.

-"I get twenty new kids every year," he merely said, disinterest laden in his voice. Truly, parenting was second nature to this man now.

-And while he did worry about his children's safety, he trusted them to be able to take care of themselves.

-If they wanted to become heroes, he had no problems with that.

-"Dad, can you help me train today?" his oldest might ask.

-"Sure, I'll train you after school." Another thing about Aizawa was that he was a completely selfless parent, choosing to put his children's interests above of his own.

-However, when the subject of what to get as a house pet came up, it was a cat hands down.

-Aizawa is a very caring and trusting father. He wants his kids to succeed and will make sure to teach them right from wrong.

-He is also to the point about things, and does bring in his rational side.

-For instance, let's say his daughter underwent her first break-up and was upset about it. He'd have no problem in comforting her and would do so by gently putting a hand on her shoulder and saying, "I never liked that boy anyway. He's going nowhere in life."

-Eri, Shinsou, and many of Aizawa's former students are like older siblings!

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for July 2021! Below you’ll find One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​.

Happy reading!

Game Changer by @neondiamond

[Harry/Louis, 6k, Mature, tumblr post]

“Did the doctor say what was wrong with you?”

“He thought I was pregnant,” Louis scoffs. “Told me to go home and take a test, a pregnancy test, Haz. Can you imagine the nerve it takes for him to even think that?”

Harry looks lost in his thoughts for a few seconds. “Did you? Take a test, I mean?”

“Of course I didn’t.”

OR: A couple months before playing in his first long-awaited World Cup, Louis finds out he’s pregnant. Harry’s there for the ride.

(I Was Broke) You Healed Me by @fallinglikethis

[Harry/Niall, 12k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Niall Horan is an unmated pregnant omega living on his own after his alpha boyfriend leaves him. Far from his family and friends in Ireland, Niall is stuck living in a complex for Alpha/Omega bondmates, terrified every day of being found out by his landlord.As if that isn't enough, he's suffering from touch deprivation. Luckily, Niall's doctor can at least help him with that part: she prescribes Niall some cuddle sessions. It's only a little weird that the person she's prescribing him is her brother. Or maybe that's actually a little bit perfect.

The Only Pain in Pleasure is the Pleasure of the Pain by Layne Faire / @laynefaire

[Liam/Zayn, 10k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Liam had followed InZaynity, an artist's Instagram, for ages. Not only was the artist incredibly talented, his voice poured over Liam like warm honey on a winter's night, and his hands were the stuff Liam's wank dreams were made of. However, having Zayn unexpectedly arrive as the newest artist at his best friend's tattoo shop brought Liam's fantasies and reality a little too close for comfort.

Zayn Malik met his boss' friend on his first day at Fine Line Tattoos, and felt an instant attraction. Unfortunately, given Liam's unwillingness to even hold a conversation with him, Zayn was certain the feelings weren't reciprocal. Or were they?

When Liam's new tattoo design falls outside the scope of Tommo's talent, and he recommends Zayn do it, Liam reluctantly agrees. Surely he could manage to spend hours in Zayn's company without revealing his biggest secret, right? Right?

Blow Me Away by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

[Louis/Liam, 6k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis likes giving blow jobs.

He doesn't exactly get off on it – he's been with people who properly loved it, and he's not quite that into it – but he doesn't mind the feel or the taste and he really, really likes watching his partner lose it, so getting down on his knees regularly is a no brainer.

Which is why it's a bit frustrating that every time he does, Liam hauls him back up again.

Why Didn't We Make Out the Night We Met? by @berzerkshires

[Louis/Harry, 52k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis and Harry meet in an alley outside the hotel Louis is staying for the weekend. Harry introduces himself as Ed, and Louis is completely clueless. They have a relationship through text messages, phone calls, shared pictures and Facetime calls. Is a cell phone being the only source of communication enough? Will Louis ever learn that he's really talking to an international popstar? And what happens when the world is shutdown due to a wide spread virus?

I Love This Feeling (But I Hate This Part) by @lululawrence

[Harry/Louis, 7k, Not rated, tumblr post]

“Stand up.”

Harry stood up from the couch, not a moment’s delay.

“Oh my god, is that what that’s like?” Harry turned to Louis, surprise on his face. “I really thought they were somehow exaggerating, but it really is an automatic response with absolutely no thought from me behind it whatsoever.”

Louis sighed again. “You really wanna keep doing this? Have me use my alpha voice on you so you can work on resisting it?”

“Yup,” Harry said, clapping his hands and smiling. “How else am I going to be able to have any chance at reducing the power an alpha voice has on me?”

I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right by @lululawrence

[Liam/Nick Grimshaw, 4k, Not rated, tumblr post]

Nick was a bit of a disaster, but she was used to it.

Or so she thought. She had never known how much she could struggle just to function until the new fire lady goddess angel person winked at her.

Oh, Those Summer Nights by cherrylarry / @beelou

[Louis/Harry, 1k, General, tumblr post]

“Are you okay?” He kneels down to inspect where Harry still has his hand pressed against his head.

“Oh! Yeah, I’m fine.”

“My name’s Louis. Can I buy you dinner or something to make up for hitting you in the head?”

Harry crinkles his eyebrows. “Me?”

Louis chuckles. “Yes, you. If you’d like?”

“Yeah. That would be nice.” Harry smiles so that his dimples show. “I’m Harry.”

“Harry, it's a date, then." Louis grins.

An extended scene of the beginning of the movie Grease as a larry au

people fall in love in mysterious ways (maybe just the touch of a hand) by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers, @justalarryblog / Bekita, @bluecolouredlou , @beelou / cherrylarry, @thedevilinmybrain / devilinmybrain, @hershelsue / docklands, @foreverfanficaddict,@idolizingthelight / idolizingthelightt, @inlockets / loveroflou, @perfectdagger, @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 13k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Set in a world where meeting your soulmate causes a literal spark, Louis Tomlinson has no time for fate. He knows all too well the heartbreak that having a soulmate can bring and he'd rather avoid the whole affair. But, when a chance meeting with up-and-coming popstar, Harry Styles, causes the biggest electrical surge the world has ever seen, Louis must confront the truth that sometimes destiny knocks when you least expect it.

Somehow, Someway by @zanniscaramouche

[Louis/Harry, 16k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Louis Tomlinson has everything all figured out for a smooth post-graduation sailing into the perfect career in the music industry. A canceled class, a high school play, and a disarming set of dimples were not part of the plan. (Especially when they belong to a boy wearing someone else’s jacket.)

Featuring: A punk with the worst timed crush in history, that moody art kid that never shares cigarettes, the cutest pastel-pink wearing boy on the planet, and his unfortunately nice bottle-blond jock of a boyfriend.

Forts & Fortunes by @neondiamond

[Louis/Harry, 2k, General, tumblr post]

It’s finals week at uni and Harry is struggling to find a healthy balance between studying and tending to his needs. Lucky for him, Louis is there to help him out with that.

One way to reduce tension by @neondiamond

[Harry/Louis, 1k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry knows of a few ways to help Louis get rid of some pent up stress…

We Got a Call by @greenblueish / bluegreenish

[Louis/Harry, 24k, Mature, tumblr post]

“Fisher from St Peter hospital, hello. Is this Mr Tomlinson?”

Louis’ eyebrows furrow in concern. Why is the hospital calling him? Has someone he knows been in an accident? “Uh, yes?”

“Great. Your results are in. Congratulations, you’re pregnant!”

“Pregnant?” he chokes, the word almost getting caught in his throat.

“Yes, without doubt,” the woman from the hospital confirms, her voice neutral but somehow chirpy. “I recommend promptly booking an appointment with your ob/gyn to discuss how to proceed.”

"I...Yeah, I’ll talk to my … partner.”

or, the one where Louis and Harry Tomlinson are married and Louis accepts a phone call that was definitely meant for his husband.

How Long Will We Fall (Before We Can Climb) by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 860 words, General, tumblr post]

Louis' faith in Harry is unbreakable. When they get caught kissing and he is thrown out of his home forever, he has to learn to have faith in himself.

Rope, Leather and Lipstick by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 552 words, Mature, tumblr post]

Something about ropes around wrists, and tinting skin the colour of strawberry ice cream, tender and kissed by dark lips. Smudging sticky red lipstick across the slight blue shadow of veins, and assuring hands tightening knots.

Lies & Liability by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 34k, Mature, tumblr post]

Harry Styles has only three wishes when he leaves River Dane Manor to go to Town for his first season: that his sister has rented a townhouse that will provide him as many of the comforts of the country life he has grown accustomed to as possible, that he will not trip and fall when he is presented to Her Majesty the Queen, and that he will enter matrimony out of true love, no matter how favourable the match with any which alpha may be.

Sugar at Night by @brightgolden

[Harry/Louis, 33k, Explicit, tumblr post]

With a year left before he completes his degree, a wonderful fiancé, and a baby coming soon, life is going exceptionally well for Harry Styles.

But, the truth always has a way to unravel itself, doesn’t it?

So, what do you do when the person you fell in love with is not the person you thought they were?

I got myself in a mess (and without you I'm in more) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Zayn/Liam, 9k, Mature, tumblr post]

It’s not desire that has his synapses firing. It’s not the urge to jump him that makes him feel jittery.

It’s the fact that everything about this man - a nice, unassuming guy on Tinder, who studied IT and who seemed like a safe choice - screams danger. It’s the fact that Zayn has been absently touching his necklace for what feels like half the night now.

The necklace. Thank God for Lou, honestly. He’d laughed a bit, at first, when Louis had given it to him, when he’d explained all about the app that it was connected to, the emergency contacts that would be notified and sent his exact location “if you just double tap the back of the charm, see” because Louis was that friend, the mom friend, but right now? Right now Zayn will gladly take the gentle ribbing from Louis if it means he won’t have to spend another moment with this guy.

I don't care if the world knows by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 6k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Harry is fourteen when she buys her first binder. She’s been doing cosplay videos on Tiktok for a while at that point, and it seems like the logical choice. Not that there’s anything wrong with cosplaying characters of the opposite gender and not wanting to fully look like them, she’s seen plenty of wonderful creators put their own spin on characters in a way that transcends the source material, but when it comes to her own cosplays -

She just likes it to be accurate.

She likes her chest to be flat, not soft and curvy, when she’s wearing her Crowley cosplay, or when she’s transformed herself into Loki.

It’s all about the aesthetics.

∞

Over the course of a few years, Harry explores and comes to terms with gender identity.

It’s Probably Because I’ve Got a Big Lesbian Crush on You by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Louis/Harry, 6k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Harry's never really concerned herself with being part of the popular crowd. But as the new girl in school the second semester of her junior year, she finds herself unwittingly competing for Queen Bee status against high school royalty Louis Tomlinson. Maybe there's more to their rivalry than it seems.

A not-quite-Mean Girls AU

Going Green (so fucking green) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Louis/Harry, 5k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry just really loves being used, and Louis really loves Harry. Who is he to deny him?

Or: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle but make it BDSM

the next bit was spanners to my plan by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

[Louis/Nick Grimshaw, 6k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

The first time was an accident. The second time was an accident too.

Or: Louis and Nick end up shagging on the sly, everyone sends far too many emojis and far too few words, and eventually they're going to have to sort themselves out.

Trust Me Tonight by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers

[Louis/Harry, 10k, Explicit, tumblr post]

After Harry’s eighteenth birthday, his father calls him into a meeting to say that he is to be married to Prince Louis of France in just over a week.

Harry is excited, of course. The arrangement is better than any he could’ve hoped for, with such a young, handsome and kind husband.

There is just one issue: Harry doesn’t know what happens on his nuptials, or how to get pregnant to give Louis the heir that he needs.

Can we make it any more obvious? by LouStylesHTommo / @smolhilariousbeans

[Louis/Harry, 6k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Five times the boys accidentally walked in on Harry & Louis plus one time they did it on purpose.

Aka Niall, Zayn, Liam being supportive of Lou&H sexy shenanigans.

darling just dive right in by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Zayn/Louis, 5k, Teen and up, tumblr post]

Louis can’t think of a worse place to be than at the Malik estate, attending his ex boyfriend's wedding.

Shining just for you by ThoseFookin_Avacados / @hlhome28

[Harry/Louis, 1k, General, tumblr post]

For a clumsy person, Harry danced with quite the grace- spinning around Louis, billowy light robes brushing against his firm darker ones. Despite his slightly smaller build, Louis was decivingly strong, his grip on Harry's waist tight as they performed their steps in sync. Like two opposite halves of a whole, like ones reflection in the mirror, like the sun and the moon.

Part 2 of the Prompt Generator series

crown me with your heart (your love is king) by @perfectdagger

[Louis/Harry, 41k, General, tumblr post]

The universe must’ve had a field day when it decided to plan Harry’s life. There was no plausible explanation for anything that happened in his life anymore. Try as he may, he would never be able to control his life nor predict what would happen next. What were the odds that the one person he was sure he had fallen in love with but had completely let him slip out of his life, already resigned to the fact nothing could ever evolve between them due to Harry’s future with Eroda, happened to be the same person who had Harry’s future in his hand?

A The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Wedding au in which Harry is the Crown Prince of the small island of Eroda and Louis’ uncle is trying to take the throne from him, with a slight a/b/o twist and some more.

[tomhollandnet]

Vanity Fair: How have you been doing this past year? I mean, what has life been like in these COVID times for you?

Tom Holland: I got to say, Richard, I’ve been very fortunate during these difficult times. For me, my career hasn’t really halted. I’ve been lucky enough that I’ve been able to continue working. I made a film called Uncharted with Mark Wahlberg last year. I’m currently shooting Spider-Man 3 at the moment. So I’ve been very lucky.

It put a pause for a while, and I went home and we locked down in London, and I had a few months where I was sort of kicking about the house. But all in all, I’ve had a great time. And I’ve really enjoyed the jobs I’ve been working on. And I definitely recognize how lucky I am to be working, when so few people are at the moment [and are] really, really having a hard time. So I’ve been very lucky, and I’ve been enjoying myself.

And now you have this whole different kind of work, promoting Cherry and kind of getting the word out about that movie. I have a bunch of questions about this big epic. But I’m curious in terms of, what’s the origin story? Obviously you’ve worked with the Russo brothers pretty intensely for the past few years. Was it just kind of an automatic collaboration?

Yeah, basically as simple as that, really. I mean, I was working with Joe and Anthony on Avengers: Endgame. And Joe took me aside and said, “We’re making this film. We want you to be the lead. It’s a small, independent film.” He didn’t tell me what it was about. He just sort of told me that he wants me to be in it. And I was honestly just touched that they wanted to work with me. Of all the people in the business they could work with, I just felt really honored that they’d chosen me. And then when I finally got the chance to read the script, I was even more blown away, because I finally recognized the opportunity that had been handed to me.

As a young actor, you’re always looking for ways to challenge yourself. You’re looking for ways to push yourself you haven’t been in the past. And I think we could probably agree that this film achieves both of those goals. So as soon as I read the script and I knew that it was the Russos making it, it was a no-brainer, and it was a very definite yes.

It definitely does feel, I mean, in terms of its content and its style, even, like a big change for you. Do you at all view this as your first grown-up role, or your first adult role? I mean, is that how you kind of look at a project, or is it more just, this specific thing interests you?

That’s an interesting question. It depends what you mean by an adult role, but my agents and I are very strategic in choosing our moments, and trying to be really clever with when we decide to take that next step into becoming an adult and making films about real people and about real problems and getting messages across. And we did that a little bit with Devil All the Time, the Antonio Campos movie. That was kind of the first step, but Cherry is the big step. And that was why it was so daunting, because I haven’t done a film like this before. And I was nervous to see how the world would see me in that light and as that character. Obviously, the film hasn’t come out yet, but I am very apprehensive as to see how people respond to my work in this film.

There’s a lot of intense stuff in Cherry. What was, to your mind, when you read the script, the most daunting thing? What were you most scared to shoot?

I think it was probably the emotional aspect of the film. Physically, I knew I could do it. I knew I’d be able to do that. But emotionally, I’m very lucky and lived a very charmed life, and I’ve been an actor since I was 11. So I haven’t really had to deal with much trauma, or sorrow, or grief, or things like that. So I was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to maintain that level of emotion for a four-month period. That is where the Russos became so valuable, because they were my safety net. That’s where Ciara Bravo was so valuable. She was my partner in crime, and she’s absolutely astonishing in the film and a great friend. And I can’t tell you how lucky I am to have had her to help me throughout this process. So I think for me, yeah, the thing I was most daunted about was maintaining that level of emotion.

What kind of prep did you do? I think actors who are very good actors, they can fall into the trap of when they’re supposed to be acting high or on drugs or something, there can be a sort of showiness to that, as sort of theater. And something that’s really, I think, immersive and bracing about Cherry is that there’s none of that. It feels entirely credible when these characters are in these lows of their lives. Did you talk to soldiers, addicts, anything like that, in prepping to shoot?

Yes, absolutely. We did loads and loads of research. I mean, I must’ve sat down with 30 different people who are all veterans, who are all medics, all suffering from PTSD and substance abuse. And for me, the more information I could get about a problem that I knew so little about to begin with, the better. I worked with nurses. We worked with someone who was running a rehab clinic in Cleveland, and he became our consultant and would be there on set with us every day and would show us how to shoot someone up and show us how to cook heroin, or explain to us the feeling of what would it be like if you mixed a bit of crack with heroin.

There’s a scene in the film where I go to rob a bank, and I shoot up in the car just before. And he said to us that day, “You would never do that before you go into rob a bank.” But if you put a bit of crack in there, it would totally change your attitude and your physical prowess, I guess. So having people on set like that to kind of guide us through the process was so valuable.

I think I’m a bit older than you, and these characters are about my age. I was in college in the early 2000s, and 9/11 was my first week of college. And people in my hometown, well, my neighborhood in Boston, a lot of them were lost to opioids, either killed, or went to prison. And you’re younger, but did you see any parallels between this kind of half-generation removed and your age, the Generation Z? Do you think that a lot of these things are still kind of ongoing?

Yeah. I mean, arguably the opioid epidemic is worse now. And it’s affecting far more people. I think one of my favorite things that Joe said, Joe Russo, is the opening of the film is these swooping shots over Cleveland. We fly over Cleveland, and we see thousands and thousands of houses. And that is to convey to the audience that, yes, we’re telling the story of two people, but really, we’re telling the story of millions of people. This is one story amongst millions. And I really hope that this film can shed the light on a problem that’s invisible, and a problem that is mostly fought in the shadows. People are very ashamed to talk about their addictions and that sort of thing. So I hope that this will shed light on that problem, and people will change their attitude towards people who are suffering from addiction.

It almost feels surprising that there hasn’t been something about this very epic subject matter. What were the conversations like on set about the film’s style? I mean, it is pretty stylized. Did you feel that in the shooting, or is that kind of all added after the fact?

Absolutely. I mean, the Russos changed their way of shooting time and time again while we’re making this film, from different lenses they were using, from different styles of lighting, from different performance techniques. They would frame us sometimes very differently throughout the film. So we were very much aware of the different type of chapters we were trying to make.

Was that a real head-shaving moment in the film?

Yes. Well, we’d already shaved my head, because we were shooting prior. But what we did is we had about a week’s worth of work where we just allowed it to grow, and then he shaved it down to a one. But I actually loved having a shaved head. It was so nice. It was so refreshing to wake up, get out of bed and realize that your hair was already done. It was one of the only luxuries of playing this character.

Yeah. I let my hair get too long during quarantine, and then said, “Screw it. I’ll get the shortest haircut I’ve gotten in years.” And it is liberating. You just wake up, and you’re done.

Totally.

You’re on set, filming something else now, in very changed times from when I think Cherry was filmed. What is it like being back on a set? I mean, I’m not asking for spoilers or anything, don’t worry, but just in terms of the actual day-to-day of filming a movie with all these new restrictions, how has that experience been?

I mean, I love being on set. It’s where I feel most at home. It’s obviously limiting, with COVID, and we’re having to be very careful and very responsible in the way that we behave. There’s certain protocols that we have to follow, to make sure that we maintain this level of safety for the cast and crew. It can be a little tedious at times, but it’s so necessary. And we all recognize how lucky we are to be working right now. So it’s a necessity that we don’t mind taking on because, as I said, we’re also lucky to be here.

[silver-wield]

I want to know what your thoughts are on the optional Aerith resolution scene? Particularly around the time where Aerith says the "love" line?

Awww man, you're gonna make me watch that? Lol

Ok let's do this then.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be reasonably long.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone’s interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I’ve had other ideas since then) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Cloti reunion analysis 

The Promise Analysis 

Andrea’s approval (Cloti ask response) 

Leslie analysis (not mine, but a good read) 

Cloti action touching 

Aerti friendship analysis 

Cloti body language chapter 3 

Cloti healthy disagreement 

Cloti post heliboss battle (chapter 15) 

Clerith playground scene 

Cloti body language plate fall 

Cloud and Barret friendship 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Recap time!

So, Aerith's been taken by Shinra and the group is still feeling the after effects of the plate fall. Everyone's pretty demoralised and after they visit deep ground and Cloud gets the aborted flashback of himself inside a chamber being experimented on, he says to Elmyra they should go save Aerith before the same fate befalls her.

Elmyra asks they sleep on it.

During the night Cloud “wakes up” to see a ghostly Aerith heading downstairs. He follows her outside and they talk on the hill top where the lifestream can be seen glowing in the background.

It’s important to note that Cloud has literally just gone through both the train graveyard and seen a bunch of ghosts and the plate collapse where he’s seen a load of people he cares about die. 

Cloud looks surprised. Hmm I wonder why....

Yeah, this is a no brainer opening. Aerith shouldn't be there and he doesn't think he's asleep at this moment. He looks around and figures out it's a dream, but isn't totally sure because how often does anyone have cognisant dreams?

You can see the doubt about if she’s a ghost or not and she doesn’t clear that up, so Cloud’s left wondering if Aerith’s dead already. The following conversation doesn’t reassure him.

Aerith's “Maybe. You tell me,” doesn't actually help here. If Cloud's having doubts about how real it is – and she's aware of his fake persona and wants to know the real him – then causing further doubt in his mind seems counterproductive. It's like she's implying an illusory nature to their relationship. It also feels like foreshadowing the moment Cloud thinks he’s not real. 

She's also not looking at him when she says it, so even if it was a teasing moment between them, she's automatically set a distance between them. Because eye contact matters, remember? When someone can't meet your eye it's for a reason, whether they're uncomfortable or hiding something or whatever. Eye contact is a conscious connection between two people. Deliberately not making eye contact has meaning too.

Aerith exposition. Lots of fidgeting. No eye contact. She seems like she's making small talk to avoid something. Even when Cloud faces her head on she quickly turns away again to stare off into the distance. Cloud remains in her peripheral vision only. When Aerith does turn to reassure Cloud, he looks away.

And after is the immortal line “Don't be silly” in response to Cloud's sarcasm. I mean, isn't she supposed to be the sweet one? So wouldn't her saying silly fit with her vocabulary? Or should she have said something like “Cloud, don't be a fucking moron” because she swore that one time and everyone erupted into cheers over it? Let's say it is a callback to Claudia, who somehow had a prophetic vision of Aerith being “the one”. Aerith didn't say “silly goose” which was the exact line Claudia said, so technically Aerith's only half of what Claudia suggested. If Tifa says “goose” at some point does that validate her being in the running too?

Yes, I'm being facetious. Point is, unlike the promise between Cloud and Tifa when it was Tifa reusing her own words, this relies on Aerith having meta knowledge of what Claudia said to Cloud when he was 16 and Aerith was with Zack. So, with that in mind, why would Aerith care what Claudia had to say about some other guy she doesn't even know when she's already got a boyfriend? The implication of this is that Aerith already knew everything that would happen to Zack and she'd already moved on from him to Cloud before they ever met and yet she kept writing letters to Zack the whole time.

But then after meeting Cloud she decided to take him up on the slide and talk about her dead boyfriend...as a way to let him know she's single?

This is Cloud's face when Aerith says in a perky voice “You worried about me?” This is the bit where he says “Of course.” It's a very neutral expression tbf. There's not anything being given away and the way he says the line is very simple too. Nothing suggests he's revealing a big secret to her or that he's embarrassed by his concern. I'd say it's SOLDIER!Cloud at rest since we know from the devs that Cloud still puts on a front with Aerith because he doesn't know how to deal with her. Which is typical for Cloud since he's emotionally 16 and never dealt with girls.

That perky persona visibly drains from Aerith's face and body language. Her posture sags, she breaks eye contact, she looks sad. This is the image of someone who isn't happy to hear that Cloud's worried about her. Now, if she was into the whole ship wouldn't she be happier to hear that line from him? She's regretful and turns away again, using her body as a barrier to any possible intimacy.

I'm sure people disagree, so imma explain. If she'd turned her back that would be an outright rejection. She'd be fully closing herself off. By turning away, she's indicating the conversation isn't over, but her degree of attention on Cloud is less than if she'd face him head on. If she stayed facing him, then that builds intimacy since face to face is open body language which can have several interpretations – some of which I've mentioned before like confrontational when Cloud steps up to Rude. When it's between a couple, it's suggestive of building intimacy and trust.

And when Cloud takes a step towards Aerith, she steps away again, towards the lifestream in the distance. Not permitting the closing of distance is a sign she doesn't want to encourage intimacy with him. That she walks towards where the lifestream is means that's where her attention and focus is. Whether that's an overarching plot reason or from a “Zack is there” reason is up to your interpretation.

Another immortal line. Considering Aerith just stepped towards where we can see the lifestream and that she's taking up her priestess pose we can reasonably assume she's thinking of Zack, unless you're once again subscribing to the theory that she's meta!Aerith aware of her own death and speaking of that. In which case, yall need to make up your minds whether she's one or the other because you can't swap between the two when it suits you just to justify your arguments.

When Cloud says “I'll remember that” in response to Aerith's advice that “every moment matters” it definitely comes across as one of those character building life lessons that Cloud's had over the course of the game. He got one from Barret about how not everyone has a choice to run away, one from Marle about listening to others and caring and now he's got one from Aerith about making the time they have count. These are mentor moments.

But more importantly, look who Aerith's looking at when she says that line. It's not Cloud, not the lifestream. Us. The players. She is talking to us. This isn't just wisdom for Cloud, it's for us, too.

After a 9 second pause from Aerith, in which she looks at the ground, Cloud offers a suggestion of what she wants to say next. She seems very lost in thought during this time, and almost reluctant to speak. Considering she always seems to know what to say in any given situation, this is off. This very long pause is the longest she's been silent in the whole game. It's notable. She almost seems to be warring with herself as her eyes narrow and she subtly shifts from side to side.

I may well be wrong about the length of time she’s silent. It could be 7 seconds in a callback to the 7 seconds it took for Sephiroth to drop and kill her in OG. 

I'm one of those who does subscribe to the whole OG!Aerith vs meta!Aerith theories – which I stick to throughout every scene involving her so don't even try and @ me and say I'm a liar – and to me, this looks like OG Aerith trying to assert dominance over the situation, while meta Aerith wants to refuse.

When Cloud speaks, Aerith looks grateful for the cut in. It pulls her out of that warring state, while he's trying to look cool and mature still lol (dork)

Okay, so that whole speech she gives about thanking him is definitely coming off like she's aware of things she shouldn't know yet. This may be what OG!Aerith was trying to prevent her from saying. This isn’t something that Cloud should know yet, after all.

After some physical humming and hawing, eyes downcast, then glancing away and we get a shot of her feet – remember all of this is intentional to build a story here – she looks up and we get this line that's making certain people freak out with joy.

Quick lesson on intonation.

Intonation is the rise and fall – the pitch – of how you say certain words. The way you say them gives them their meaning. You can say the same words in many different ways to convey different meanings and/or emotions.

I've previously focused on Aerith's choice of the word “can't” here because this is the key word in the phrase.

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure how certain people are interpreting this line to turn it into a positive. The word “can't” is synonymous with an impossibility. It means “there are specific reasons why this isn't possible.”

Aerith didn't say “Don't” as in “you shouldn't”. She said “can't” as in “not able to”. She is telling Cloud that he's not able to love her. The specific intonation on the word “can't” supports this evidence. If yall wanna examine it more closely then I suggest you turn the sound down slightly so it's actually harder to hear the whole sentence and see which words have more emphasis. Can't has specific emphasis, which wouldn't be there if she wasn't stressing the word.

As for her facial expression. I mean, this doesn't look like the earlier one where she's sad or regretful. This is matter of fact. She's telling him this as a kindness because he's not yet aware of the reasons that she is.

(Note: I didn't say which specific reasons because some of yall say it's her death and others say it's Tifa, so that's up to you. There's reasons, is my point).

So up until she said that, Cloud was actually looking at her. But this made him turn away in dismissal. Not with embarrassment. He's not caught out and flustered. He's SOLDIER!Cloud, remember? He's all front and super cool facade.

This isn't the first time a girl has thrown herself at him. Jessie did it too, only more ott. Cloud's used to brushing off girls and does it without effort.

I'm sure up to this point some people have been screaming about how biased I've been and unfair and this is so cloti (excuse me while I roll my eyes).

So, if I'm biased why am I about to point out that the above screen is real!Cloud popping in for a visit? This is him overriding the SOLDIER persona to question if Aerith might have a point. But not about her. About Tifa. Because within the previous few hours, Cloud and Tifa shared an intimate moment. And it wasn’t soldier Cloud who did that. It was real Cloud. Aerith is calling attention to real Cloud’s feelings for Tifa, which makes him look to the house where Tifa is sleeping. He gets soft eyed and starts to smile, but then seems to want to question himself, which we know isn’t a good idea. Real Cloud and Soldier Cloud aren’t ready to meet yet.

And while real!Cloud is busy debating with SOLDIER!Cloud about Aerith's words, she's approached completely silently – because, ykno, she's not actually there – and he's caught sight of her hand in his peripheral vision. The second she touches him he jerks back looking surprised. This wasn't a telegraphed move where he saw it coming from 10 feet away and chose to do nothing.

I also question that if he can feel her hand here then it's solid, but when he goes to grab her it's not? So, she chose to let him feel the first touch, but then rejected him grabbing her? Or is it more likely that having caught sight of her hand in his peripheral vision he didn't actually feel her touch his face then or the time after because Aerith's not there. There's no actual physical interaction between them.

This is pity. Not much else to say about it. Meta!Aerith knows Cloud's future and that by introducing these future concepts to him, she's causing confusion ahead of the time it should happen. She feels bad about that and probably about her OG behaviour that she had no control over thanks to the Whispers forcing her to go against her real nature.

Well, I was going to say that Cloud going to grab her wrist – not her hand – is just further proof of her intangible presence. She isn't someone he can hold onto. But having grabbed this screen it's clear he wouldn't have grabbed her wrist at all either. His hand is open and aimed at her forearm and already passing through her well before he tries to close it.

And the reason why goes back to the ghost thing. Cloud thought she wasn’t there in person, that she might be dead or it’s a dream, but then she touched him. So he wants to grab her the same way he did Jessie in the pillar, to try and keep her alive. But his hand goes through her and he’s left looking confused again.

“Do I get a say in all this?”

Well now. That's a bit different. I'm sure like everyone else we've all been convinced that Cloud said “Don't I get a say in this?” like he's arguing with Aerith's decision. That he's admitting he's already in love with her.

“Do I get a say in all this?” is a totally different kettle of fish.

Don't connotates a confrontational tone. It's argumentative. It's rejecting whatever previous statement was made.

Do is a question. It's inquisitive. Placid. Neutral. It's neither confirming, nor denying the previous statement. It's merely asking for more information.

Funny how those little word replacements some people use end up twisting the narrative.

Cloud’s not just speaking about Aerith’s most recent statement either. He’s talking about the whole conversation they just had. The possibility that she’s dead or dying and he doesn’t get any choice about it. This is a throwback to the OG theme of life and death and how the dying get to say goodbye and decide how to leave, while the living don’t and have to figure out how to move on from it afterwards. 

Anyway, Cloud has his back to us, so we don't even know if that's coming from SOLDIER!Cloud or real!Cloud, so that's up for debate and I won't even bother since he's got his back to us and we can't see either way.

And then we've got the cool SOLDIER!Cloud (screen) telling Aerith he's gonna save her. We already know that Cloud does his best to sound cool and confident when talking to Aerith because he doesn't know how to be himself around her. This is the kind of line you'd expect to hear from him.

She replies, “If that's what you want.” which is also very non-specific. It's a neutral statement that leaves things up to Cloud. It could imply an answer to the previous question he asked, since the two do stand beside each other and make sense. However, the interjected “It's almost morning” line breaks this up and makes it less of an impactful statement from her. She's done her upmost to neutralise any romantic context from this scene.

Conclusion

If yall saw romance then okay, you must be right.

I sure af didn't. I saw a regretful Aerith telling Cloud things he shouldn't be aware of yet, feeling more regretful for confusing someone who's already suffering from mental illness and then making non-committal statements that neither reject or encourage his attention.

Maybe she's regretful for her own sake as well, knowing what she does about him and still doing this to push some future narrative only she's aware of, but I wouldn't say this is romantic. It's clearly some kind of goodbye from her. Cloud, for his part, looks confused and guarded through most of the scene. There's one moment when his real self peeks out to question Aerith's meaning, but then he's gone again. We can't say for any certainty that his question was asked by his true self or his SOLDIER persona and without visual context I won't speculate.

[queen-ofsunflowers]

Okay, so I’ve been binge watching A:TLA on like... a loop for the past week or two, because I love the show and ya know, nostalgia. And last night, my mind got to work on thinking “if the BNHA cast were in this universe, what kind of benders would they be?”

In other words, things spiralled and I accidentally made another AU. I don’t have all the characters placed just yet, there are a few I’m having trouble pinning down specifically. So, here are the couple that I DO have pinned down. (There are more than those that are on this list, but for now let’s just focus on the main cast members.)

First up on the list are the airbenders! And those confirmed to be airbenders in this AU are Ochako Uraraka and Tenya Iida. Here, having Uraraka be an airbender was a no-brainer. Her Quirk is the ability to make things float, which I think translates pretty nicely into airbending. However, with Iida... I’ve always associated speed with airbending. I think enhancing speed is actually a technique that airbenders use by decreasing the wind resistance around them or creating a current to propel them forward. So, with his speed Quirk, I thought that it could possibly translate into Iida using airbending to make himself go faster, something that his family is known for. That, and I love the idea of the brick that is Tenya Iida being constantly mistaken for an earthbender because of his physique. The other kids that are airbenders right now are Yuga Aoyama and Inasa Yoarashi. Inasa should be... ya know, kind of obvious. He is canonically an airbender in MHA. And I don’t know why, but Aoyama just gives off major airbender vibes to me.

Next up in the AU are the waterbenders! Our confirmed waterbenders are Mina Ashido, Tsuyu Asui and Shouto Todoroki. For Asui and Todoroki, I think the explanation here is simple. Actually, the explanation ofr all of them are pretty much simple. Tsuyu’s Quirk has a lot to do with water, so that was an obvious placement. Todoroki’s previous primary use of ice easily translates into him being a natural born waterbender. As for Ashido, my mind works weird. It automatically linked her use of acid and a couple of her movements in canon to being waterbending moves. Also, acid is a liquid. So... liquid-bending. Other waterbenders include Mezo Shouji, Ibara Shiozaki, and Tamaki Amajiki. For Shouji and Amajiki, it’s mostly due to the octopus aspect of waterbending and my mind linking that to their Quirks. It reminded me a lot of them in general personality-wise. As for Shiozaki, all I have to say is plantbending and leave it at that.

Following the order of the Avatar cycle, that means the next set of benders on this list are the earthbenders! And at least one of these should be kind of obvious, but for confirmed earthbenders we got Eijirou Kirishima and Hanta Sero. Kirishima was another no-brainer when it came to this. He literally turns into a rock. That just screams earthbender. As for Sero... I got inspired from Legend of Korra when it came to what kind of bender he should be. If you can recall, the metalbending members of Republic City police force would used spools of cables to sort of zip around the city, and that reminded me a lot of the way Sero moves around with his tape. So... we got a metalbender Sero! Other earthbenders include Rikido Sato, Itsuka Kendou, Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu, Mirio Togata and Yo Shindo. Shindo and Tetsutetsu should be obvious. Shindo’s Quirk literally allows him to shake the ground, and Tetsutetsu can turn into metal. For Sato, it was about the strength that’s often necessary to earthbend, and his Quirk when stripped to the basics, is enhanced strength. With Kendou, it’s a similiar situation to Aoyama. She and her personality felt like that of an earthbender. Stubborn and determined... That, and like with Sato, there was also the strength aspect to her powers that just screamed earthbender to me. Mirio was one I had trouble with because I kept bouncing back and forth between the idea of him being an earthbender or an airbender. Earth won out in the end, because I could easily see that helping with a translation from permeation -- Mirio can bend the ground so that it swallows him up and allows him to pass straight though solid walls of earth.

Following the earthbenders, with have the firebenders. And those confirmed to be firebenders so far are Katsuki Bakugo and Denki Kaminari. These guys were some of the first that I pinned down. Bakugo just screams firebender, with his explosive personality. That, and there’s an aspect of firebending that lets someone create explosions. So, obviously Bakugo had to be a firebender. With Kaminari, let’s not forget that creating lightning is also an aspect of firebending, and lightning is electricity. So, there we go for that one. Other firebenders include Shouto Todoroki and Nejire Hadou. OKAY. Before anyone says anything, let me explain. I know that I said I had Todoroki as a waterbender. And I do. He was born one. And before you ask, no. He is not the Avatar. I was going back and forth with what kind of bender he should be until getting an idea in my mind that would allow Todoroki to be both. That whole plot bunny is a very long one to explain, so I’ll save it for another post. Let’s just say that due to traumatic circumstances, Todoroki ends up with the ability to firebend when he’s fifteen. As for Neijire, it was a toss up between her being an airbender or a firebender, but I decided upon the latter in the end. It reflects the energy manipulation of her Quirk, as well as leaving traces of it behind. She can use the flames she makes to fly around, too.

And I know that this list mostly focuses on benders, but there are some nonbenders in this AU, too. Hitoshi Shinsou and Mei Hatsume are both confirmed nonbenders so far. Hatsume gives off the kind of vibe like... she doesn’t need bending to do things, she has her babies. Even if she was a bender, she wouldn’t use it often. Mostly for convicence purposes. With Shinsou, it came down to I really couldn’t see his Quirk working with any of the bending arts aside from bloodbending. But Shinsou’s too much of a good person to do that, so nonbender it was. It also fits with the train of thought that being a bender means that you can so much more than nonbenders. Which, I should note, is a total lie, but one that people choose to believe. Don’t worry though. Shinsou soon gets rid of that mindset with the help of another nonbender who I like to note, is a badass and ends up becoming Shinsou’s mentor.

And of course, you can’t have an Avatar AU without an Avatar. For this AU it’s obviously Izuku Midoriya. The story I have set up for him is that -- for some reason -- the Avatar Spirit had lied dormant in his body for the first fourteen years of his life. This lead to many (Midoriya himself included) to believe that he was a nonbender. That was until he and Bakugo were attacked by a rogue waterbender that tried to kill them, leading to Midoriya activating the Avatar State and in turn, bending for the first time. This is a feat that shocks everyone, even Midoriya himself.

And that’s pretty much it so far! I have a lot of ideas for this AU, so if you guys want to see more of it, let me know! I think the one aspect I mentioned earlier with Todoroki does need some explaining, so... if you guys want to know about that, I wouldn’t mind making another post about it.

[deaddovecoterie]

Jily and all hearts

❤︎: who is more affectionate in public? in private?

james is very physically vocal about his affection for lily; hes always peppering kisses on her face but lily will try to swat him away. he’s not afraid of PDA but lily definitely is, she hates people staring. james is also, once again, more affectionate in private too, but lily can dish it out too just as much when she wants to

♡︎: who is the bigger romantic openly? secretly?

james potter is such a hopeless romantic, but only in private. i think it’s a well known fact that lily is also a hopeless romantic but she is more public about it. you can almost always find a stack of romance novels somewhere in her room. james on the other hand is extremely romantic, but only in private: whenever it’s mentioned to the marauders, he automatically shoots it down and claims that love is “gross beyond compare” according to him

❥: who is more likely to plan something big for valentine’s day?

this, once again, is also james. lily hates the very idea of valentines day, she things it’s just another commercial money grab, “why can’t you love your significant other the same amount every day of the year?” she argues. james agrees with her, “but why not waste your galleons on a money grab if it’s for someone special?” he normally says as he suggestively wiggles his eyebrows. at this, lily normally slaps him, but smiles anyway

ꨄ: who is more likely to initiate hand holding in public?

i would have to say lily. she isn’t one for PDA, but she loves holding james’ hand.

💕: who is more likely to make huge declarations of love in front of others?

obviouslyyyyy james. he basically professed his love for her wherever he went, whether that was in the middle of transfiguration and he’d turn a frog into a ring, in charms where he’d send her an origami unicorn with “marry my evans” scrolled onto it, or in the common room where he charmed the stairs to say “go out with me evans” every time she took a step

💘: who developed a crush on the other first?

i mean. this one also goes to james. i think it’s pretty obviously that lily couldn’t stand his guts at the beginning, but james was positively whipped for the brilliant redhead. it was in their second year and sirius, remus, wormtail and james were all sitting on squashy chairs in the common room by the fire place. they were giving prongs a hard time about his obsession with lily when he said “i am not obsessed! it’s not like i lay awake thinking about her at night” he scoffed.*time skip to 2am* “oh my god” he said with his eyes wide, staring at the canopy of his bed

💝: who spends more time (possibly overthinking) what presents to get the other?

lily evans; she, naturally, is an over thinker, but when it comes to james? she’s never not overthinking things, particularly when it comes to gifts. she stresses about it and asks marlene, doe, mary, alice, even remus what she should get for him. she’ll pace her room sometimes trying to brainstorm ideas. then, days later she’ll break and finally buy something, but will ask herself “will he even like it? does he even need it really? will it last time a long time? is it practical?” and then she’ll go back and return it. THEN she’ll be panicking and scrambling to get him something a few hours before and finally buys the first thing that comes to mind. of course he ends up loving it even more than the previous year, but it doesn’t stop her from worrying

💓: who initiates most physical contact?

i think this one is a no brainer: james fuckin potter. unless it’s in the bedroom lol, then it’s lily💀

💌: who is more likely to send cutesy texts to the other?

definitely james. lily hates any sort of pet name or cutesy talk or coddling. she absolutely detests everything about it, but james will send her things like “i’ll be right over sweetie pie” and she just wants to rip her eyeballs out of their sockets

💟: who spends time reading their zodiac compatibilities?

lily says she doesn’t believe in that stuff but it’s total bullshit, she’ll curl up in a cozy corner and read everything about it for as long as she can

💙: who is more protective?

james i think, since he fought so hard to get her BUT i think that lily is equally as protective when a girl makes eyes at him

💚: who tends to get sick more often? who is better at taking care of the other?

lily, since she spends so much time studying she might only have a few things to eat during the day which gives her a shit immune system. lily fusses over james more when he’s sick but james is better at taking care of her and herself

💜: who said i love you first?

james 😌

💛: who believes in soulmates?

to be honest i don’t think either of them believes in soul mates, but if one of them had to i think it would be james since he’s a cheesy romantic

[masterweaverx]

I be a nerd, I be liking D&D, and I be watchin' a lot of Tulok the Barbrarian's 'Building Character' series, where he puts together how to play as various fictional characters in fifth edition up to level 20. He's done Ruby, he's done Yang, but I was bored so I figured I'd follow his format and try to guess how he'd do Blake. This is going to be a lot of Nerd Rambling, so here we go.

So, outlining the goals: Agility is a must for any Blake build, she's got a lot of nimbleness to her. She also uses two swords--one of which is also a whip and a pistol, and the other a sheathe that can be combined to make an extra sword--so she should have weapon versatility. And of course there's her semblence, can't have a Blake without a Blake Buddy, and we need that Blake Buddy to be useful.

Tulok uses standard point array for a reason, it skips over the fiddliness of 'rolling' and 'pointbuy'. Also useful for organizing high stats to low. Blake's very nimble and a lot of her weapons count as finesse or ranged, so putting the 15 into dexterity is a no-brainer. She's also very good at spotting things and analyzing the situation--wisdom's generally where that sort of thing comes from, so it gets a 14. Charisma is the skill you need to make big speeches about how the White Fang has gone downhill and get people to listen, plugging the 13 in there seems good. And she likes her books, so 12 for intelligence is obvious. Between strength and constitution I think I'd dump strength--constitution is about HP and endurance, so it'd get the 10, and proficiency in the Athletics skill should make up for the weakness having an 8 in strength gives.

For race, I'd say a Swiftstride Shifter works best. Specifically the statblock from the Races of Eberron Unearthed Arcana--I've seen one without Keen Senses and, yeah, that didn't make sense to me. Swiftstride Shifters get +2 to their Dexterity, bumping Blake up to 17, and +1 to their Charisma, evening that out to 14. They also get sixty feet of Darkvision, Keen Senses for an automatic Perception proficiency, and Graceful for an automatic Acrobatics proficiency. And then there's the big draw--automatically got 35 walk speed (5 more than the usual norm), plus they can trigger a one-minute transformation for both another +5 speed (total of 40 feet) and the ability to move 10 feet as a reaction when an enemy ends their round within 5 feet of them without triggering attacks of Oppurtunity. (Also get some temporary hit points during the transformation, but that's a side benefit.) Blake's hard to hit even before she gets class levels. And her first class level will make her even harder to hit.

For Background I figure Courtier from Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide works best. It gives Blake proficiency in Insight and Persuasion, two extra languages of her choice, and the feature Court Functionary. To quote the online source I'm using:

Your knowledge of how bureaucracies function lets you gain access to the records and inner workings of any noble court or government you encounter. You know who the movers and shakers are, whom to go to for the favors you seek, and what the current intrigues of interest in the group are.

Very much something Blake would be interested in. Admittedly, for her noble courts are more the 'legally dubious' organizations like the White Fang and the Happy Huntresses, but being the daughter of the chief of Kuo Kuana probably gives her some political acumen anyway.

I'm not going to go level-by-level like Turlok does, I don't think anyone here wants me to ramble too much, but I will say Blake will be getting nine levels of Rogue and eleven of Fighter. Four Rogue levels, five Fighter levels, five more Rogue levels, then six Fighter levels. Starting with Rogue gives her a lot of proficiencies, and fighter... a lot less, when she multiclasses into it, but enough to shore up Rogue. Rogues get proficiencies in Light Armor and Simple Weapons (and a bunch of specific Martial Weapons, but multiclassing into Fighter gives her all the Martial Weapons anyway so no need to be specific there). They also get proficiencies in Thieves' Tools, which work on traps as well as locks, and on Dexterity and Intelligence saving throws--Blake's smart enough not to be fooled and nimble enough to get out of the way. Finally, they get four skill proficiencies, and I figure Blake would go with Athletics, Deception, Investigation, and Stealth to round out her ninja-ing. Multiclassing into Fighter gives a character proficiency in Simple and Martial Weapons, as well as Light and Medium Armor and Shields; honestly, Blake isn't going to be using those proficiencies much, it's more for the class features, but I thought I'd mention them.

With nine levels of Rogue come most of the standard Rogue abilities, which mostly make Blake that much harder to hit, so I'll only go over the stuff that has to be chosen. Blake gets two expertises on their first and sixth level, which she can choose to place on any skill to double her proficiency bonus on them; Acrobatics, Athletics, Investigation, and Persuasion are what I figured fit her most.

A third level Rogue chooses a Roguish Archetype, and the website I'm using has 'Acrobat' as an option; that gives Blake Ariel Artistry at third Rogue level (When she moves, she can instead take two short movements by flying. Each movement is half her speed, and she must end each one on a solid object or the ground. If she does not, she falls and her movement ends.) and Fearless Aerialist at ninth Rogue level (she no longer takes damage from falling).

And then there are the Ability Score Improvements at fourth and eighth level; for fourth level I figure Blake would appreciate the Dual Wielder feat, and because I'm splitting 4-5-5-6  that means the eighth level Improvement is actually Blake's third improvement, so there's be +1 to Dexterity and +1 to Intelligence (because she already got +2 to Dexterity from Fighter), so that would cap her Dexterity at 20 and make her Intelligence 13. Also, the Dual Wielder feat for reference:

You master fighting with two weapons, gaining the following benefits:

You gain a +1 bonus to AC while you are wielding a separate melee weapon in each hand. You can use two-weapon fighting even when the one-handed melee weapons you are wielding aren't light. You can draw or stow two one-handed weapons when you would normally be able to draw or stow only one.

So this basically covers most of Blake's "normal" mobility, but her combat capabilities and Semblance will be covered by Fighter.

The non-variable Fighter improvements boil down to 'extra attacks, extra actions, and a few features to help you shrug off damage.' Blake is nothing if not tenacious. Of the variable features, I think she'd pick up the Two-Weapon Fighting Style on her first Fighter level, because that lets her use her ability score with the damage of her bonus attack with her offhand weapon (high Dex, lotta hitting power). Her ability score improvments at Fighter Level Four, Six, and Eight would be two points to Dexterity, Charisma, and Wisdom respectively. For those at home, that means her Dexterity is 20, Charisma and Wisdom 16 each, Intelligence 13, Constitution 10 and Strength 8 when all's said and done. Of course, third level fighters get to pick a martial Archetype that gives them benefits as they level, and Echo Knight is perfectly suited for Blake. Right off the bat, she gets this:

Manifest Echo 3rd-level Echo Knight feature

You can use a bonus action to magically manifest an echo of yourself in an unoccupied space you can see within 15 feet of you. This echo is a magical, translucent, gray image of you that lasts until it is destroyed, until you dismiss it as a bonus action, until you manifest another echo, or until you're incapacitated.

Your echo has AC 14 + your proficiency bonus, 1 hit point, and immunity to all conditions. If it has to make a saving throw, it uses your saving throw bonus for the roll. It is the same size as you, and it occupies its space. On your turn, you can mentally command the echo to move up to 30 feet in any direction (no action required). If your echo is ever more than 30 feet from you at the end of your turn, it is destroyed. You can use the echo in the following ways:

-As a bonus action, you can teleport, magically swapping places with your echo at a cost of 15 feet of your movement, regardless of the distance between the two of you.

-When you take the Attack action on your turn, any attack you make with that action can originate from your space or the echo's space. You make this choice for each attack.

-When a creature that you can see within 5 feet of your echo moves at least 5 feet away from it, you can use your reaction to make an opportunity attack against that creature as if you were in the echo's space.

Unleash Incarnation 3rd-level Echo Knight feature

You can heighten your echo's fury. Whenever you take the Attack action, you can make one additional melee attack from the echo's position.

You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Constitution modifier (a minimum of once). You regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

At Fighter level seven, Blake would get Echo Avatar, which lets her send her Echo on scouting missions for ten minutes at a time. Not very in character, sure. But she's very aware of everything anyway, so it's not surprising she'd have eyes and ears everywhere. And then, at level ten, she gets the very appropriately named Shadow Martyr, which lets her make her Echo teleport and take the hit for any creature she can see being attacked as a reaction. That is very much in character for Blake.

Technically, the eleventh level of Fighter (and the twentieth level of the build) gives her another extra attack, which could be devastating with all the weapons she can juggle thanks to Dual Wielder and her weapon proficiencies. I'm not sure if that's better then a tenth level in Rogue, which would give her another ability score improvement, but it does mean she can rain down a lot of pain very quickly--and the woman cut down a missile barrage once! While boosted. But it happened!

So yeah, that's my take on it.

[lloftvlly]

MysMe Characters in a Zombie Apocalypse Headcanons

Here I go again. I like zombie moves/shows and mysme so I figured I wanna combine them. 

All the headcanons under the cut because this became long! 

Yoosung

Scared boy ™

Yet shows strength when he has to protect you

Cries as he runs away from zombies

Also cries and/or gags when he sees the gory stuff

Builds contraptions to keep zombies out of your camp / hide-out

Which never rly work... but it’s the thought that counts

Always compares every situation to video games he played 

And can sometimes even come up with useful plans due to his experience with post apocalypse setting video games

But whines a lot about how “this is way harder than it looked like in xx game”

Ready to die for you and thus ends up doing unnecessary dangerous stuff, so the group has to often stop him to do the dumb thing.

“I’m not a child anymore I WANT to protect MC TOO!”

Weapon of choice: a sword like his favorite video game character even if he’s clumsy in using it. So he ends up reaching for a simple gun when he finds himself in a dire situation. 

Knows recipes of post apocalypse type foods and cooks for the group.

If you’re bitten by a zombie he falls into complete denial and firmly believes you won’t turn because he can’t accept you leaving him like that. 

Jaehee

You didn’t expect it but she suddenly turns into a very capable apocalypse warrior

When she doesn’t kick ass, she researches about the outbreak and comes up with theories to potentially one day find a cure

Keeps the group organized even in chaotic times

Always able to come up with plans when the group finds itself in dangerous situations

Call herself your sidekick but it feels more like you’re her sidekick

Doesn’t trust any new people at all, if someone wants to join your group they have to get through Jaehee first (and most times don’t manage to do that.) 

Scavengers from outside groups always underestimate her and then end up getting their ass kicked. 

Keeps an organized list of how many zombies and how many people (in self defense) she has killed. She feels guilty for the people side of the list, even if it was in self defense every time. 

Makes you feel the most safe when you are on errand runs together.

She sees and hears EVERYTHING so no zombies or people can approach you unnoticed. She’s just always really alert.

Weapon of choice: her own martial arts skills and if necessary uses a machete to assist her.

Always tired, yet always on top of her game when the situation requires it. 

If you’re bitten she wants to make the last moments for you as comfortable as humanly possible, while she closely stays by your side. She’ll act tough to not show her own pain and will not show you her tears because she wants you to see her strong in your last moments to make you feel at peace with leaving her behind. 

Jumin

Leader of the group even though he never signed up for this

The group just suddenly decided he would be the most level headed for that position and for Jumin it would be too much trouble to decline

Negotiates with other groups you meet on the road and often gets some good trades for supplies done

Surprisingly is a good fighter when he has to put down a zombie or two

Really knows how to shoot a gun and land a head shot after the other for some reason ( he probably had private shooting classes before the apocalypse for fun) 

Sighs yet composed when blood gets on his fresh white shirt

Where does he get all these clean white shirts from? 

Way too clean for someone who lives in a world that ended.

If he has to kill other people who seem to be a danger to your group he will do so without hesitation and zero regret, they had it coming. 

Weapon of choice: a simple yet powerful handgun

Sometimes makes questionable choices and tries to control the group too much to keep track of everyone. 

He means it well for everyone’s safety but it can be too much.

But when you tell him he does things wrong he gets soft and is willing to listen to you when you advice him on doing things differently.

This is making you somewhat of the right hand of the leader. 

If you’re bitten he gets too emotional about it to asses the situation and you end up being the one comforting him because he loses his fucking mind. 

Zen

Looks bomb even after 5 days on the road without a shower

Still somehow manages to hold a somewhat proper meal plan

And gets enough sleep cos “his skin needs it”

Protects you always! And never lets you out of sight if he can avoid it.

Gets way too comfortable with shady strangers you meet on the road

But if someone of these strangers becomes a danger to you, doesn’t think twice before cutting their throat

On supply runs he brings back shampoo, beer and magazines instead of things like canned food and water

He avoids fighting whenever he can to keep his hands clean, but if he has to do it, he’s very capable and smooth

Weapon of choice: a katana 

Looks like a beautiful warrior when he fights

His long hair gets in the way sometimes and can cause zombies grabbing at it but he WON’T cut it EVER. Sacrifices are to be made in the name of beauty. 

The members of your group all somehow rely on Zen for emotional support in rough times because he knows just the things to say to make everyone feel better and never stops being positive even after the world was literally ending.  

Nothing seen of this positivity however, when it’s about Jumin. 

Yes, he is not okay with Jumin being the leader but also doesn’t do anything about it, even if it causes him to nag sometimes.

If you’re bitten he will blame himself forever for not protecting you better and go on a rampage to kill every zombie within a 10 mile radius to let out his frustration. One of them hurt you, so all of them must die. 

Seven

Runner of the group, meaning he does most of the supply runs, goes out to clear roads and check locations and safety thereof 

Somehow became always that guy of the group everyone looks at when they discuss about needing a member to do something that’s ridiculously reckless. Because “its Seven, he’ll manage.”

And will do everything the group asks from him, because what does he have to lose?

Most reckless of the bunch but also luckiest of the bunch, always gets away completely unharmed no matter what dumb risky thing he does. 

Still you worry about him a lot for his lack of self-preservation, but don’t tell him you do or he’ll get mad at you. 

Boy knows all the little secret pathways, hideouts and escape routes.

Also comes up with clever inventions he can make out of random junk he finds. It really helps out the group

Zombie puns all day everyday “ Zombodie had to do it.”  “That’s a no-brainer” “You undead all your good work” “Don’t outbreak my heart.” 

Tries to avoid killing or fighting off zombies to save his energy for other things. He’s more into being stealthy when he has to get shit done. 

But when he has to, he will be pretty good in getting rid of a handful zombies.. :

Weapon of choice: a wooden baseball bat with nails sticking out of it.

He likes it, it makes him look badass

Tries hard to avoid getting emotionally attached to you or anyone in the group because you all could die at any moment and there’s no point.

But slips into caring too much about you and the group anyway 

If you’re bitten he will have an emotional break first but then quickly start to think of ways to save you, no matter how. And if he has to chop off the infected body part to see if it works he will do so. 

Saeran [ Unknown ]

Not part of your group but always knows where you all are and what you are doing.

Instead belongs to this other surviving group that ordered him to keep an eye on yours.

Comes out of nowhere when you’re in a situation where you can’t defend yourself from a group of zombies to save your ass.

But will be gone again before you can even thank him. He only did it because he needs you alive anyway.

At least that’s what he tells himself. Although he starts caring for you for some reason. 

And really wants to bring you back to join his own group instead of sticking with the RFA.

You get very interested in this masked stranger but your questions remain unanswered because he keeps his distance to continue to watch from afar. 

Casually uses zombie blood, skin and guts to camouflage himself when he has to walk through herds of them. 

He is a skilled assassin who was trained to get the job done.

Weapon of choice: a simple hand knife in close range and a full-on automatic rifle for when it’s about killing many zombies at once.

Will use either of the weapons not only on zombies but on other humans, with the same lack of hesitation, if they piss him off.

Biggest kill count of them all. 

If you’re bitten he won’t even think twice before grabbing a sharp tool to chop off your infected body part if it’s in a location that can be removed. If it’s not he might wait for you to turn and keep you as a zombie pet. 

V

The original leader of the group who mysteriously vanished about 10 days into the outbreak.

It’s because he’s been infiltrating the other mysterious group to gain information on them just to find out his ex is the leader of this other group.

Thus is stuck between two groups and because of that became a solo-surviver without really a group to belong to.

Elegant fighter. Will knock down 5 zombies gracefully without a single drop of sweat.

Sometimes picks up helpless stranded survivors on the streets and allows them to travel with him and protect them until he finds them a save community to join.

Weapon of choice: a makeshift wooden spear with a blunt end for humans and a pointy end for zombies.

Pacifist who will never kill another human, even if they tried to kill him first.

But never hesitates even a second before killing a zombie.

Probably saved your ass from the distance a few times without you knowing.

Leaves water and food on your hideout doorstep in secret when he knows your group is low on supplies because he never stops taking care of all of you from the shadows. 

If you’re bitten he will be by your side and do everything in his power to make your last moments comfortable. Unable to end your pain while you’re still alive and yourself, he will wait for you to turn before he can eventually kill you. 

Rika

Leader of this other group and still goes by the name savior.

Her group has a questionable pyramid scheme: They are basically a apocalyptic cult who believes that this end of the world is a sign for them to build their new society.

Somehow mastered to build the most powerful survival group in a safe locations with strong walls.

Is interested to bring in people of your group if they are useful to her.

Especially interested in Seven, since he got the brains she could need to further build up her own little society behind her walls.

And will sacrifice everything for her cause, especially the lives of people working for her.

Uses force to make people stay and work for her. Will kill her own “believers” and turn them into zombies if they astray from the beliefs she forced onto them, then have them in cages within their walls to show them off to the other members her community as an example of what happens when you go against the grain. 

Especially uses Saeran as her most active tool in whatever mission she plans.  

Weapon of choice: Her charm and manipulation tactics.  

Legit thinks life after the outbreak is better than before and the apocalypse is somehow a gateway to paradise. 

If you get bitten she locks you up to see the process of a human turning as a sort of experiment. 

[jaimetheexplorer]

In the got bathtub commentary scene ncw references the fact that jaime got hard in the books and says that it doesn't make sense and that he didn't understand it. Gwen says that she was pleased that it wasn't in the show bc it takes away from the purity of the scene, that it makes him more of an animal and would've cheapened it. Do you agree with them?

Hi anon,

sorry it took a while to reply to this, but it’s kind of a long answer and I was travelling the last couple of days so I didn’t have time to sit down and respond properly.

So, this is the commentary in question:

From their comments, Nikolaj seems to be the one that is confused and doesn’t understand why it was there in the books, while Cogman even says “it makes sense” [in the books] and basically chuckles about the obvious (i.e. it’s not like they could have filmed an erection, LOL). Gwen seems to see both sides of the argument, I don’t think she means “an animal” in a bad way, from the way she’s phrasing it. 

For my part, I do not think the book version is “cheapened” by Jaime being aroused, just as I don’t think the show version is lacking in terms of what that arousal was meaning to convey. 

Given that they would obviously never show an erection on camera, I guess the discussion is about the fact that the script didn’t contain a line about Jaime specifically being aroused in that moment, for the actors to convey in some way, and what that means for the scene.

I think Cogman might have different reasons to omit that from the script. On the one hand, he might simply have thought pointless to include something that would have never been shown on camera anyway. On the other hand, the show - and Cogman in particular - always had a tendency to write JB as “softer” than they are in the books (which is partly due to the differences between what each medium can afford - but this is a different tangent I’m not going to go off on right now). GRRM has a more nitty-gritty style of writing that doesn’t shy away from using explicit sexual references. 

But explicit sexual references aren’t necessarily “lesser than”. People seem to have a tendency to see the omission of sexual content as a sign of a superior dynamic and it’s almost a no-brainer for most (audience, writers and actors alike), to automatically praise this type of writing as such. I think that is because we are too conditioned in modern media to think of anything sexual as something cheap, dirty and gratuitous and we have lost touch with how it can be used meaningfully or realistically in writing.

Saying Jaime’s arousal cheapens the scene is kind of missing the narrative point of that arousal, IMO. It serves a very important purpose at that point in the development of their relationship and GRRM places it in that context of feverish confusion and openness and vulnerability for a reason.

Jaime is in a very vulnerable state at that point in his journey, and all these different, very human, emotional states are mingling together in that bathtub: exhaustion, trauma, longing for acceptance, frustration, pain, and, yes, sexual arousal. Guess what? Yes, human beings are animals! We are not always in control of what is and isn’t an appropriate reaction to have in a situation, particularly when recovering from a traumatic experience. I think that’s partly what Gwen might have been getting at when she was using the word “animal” - not in a derogatory sense, but in the sense of expressing/experiencing some basic instincts.

I think what they might be forgetting at that point in the commentary, and what influences the comments about the arousal in the books vs. omission in the show, is that Brienne is supposed to be ugly. Had Brienne been your typical attractive woman, having Jaime get aroused at seeing her naked wouldn’t have told the reader anything new, plot-wise. One could see that as just objectifying the woman in a moment that’s meant to be about an emotional confession and connection. So I understand why they might feel it’s needless to have it in the scene and it might cheapen the scene. 

But given that Brienne is mean to be ugly, what George is starting to do is beginning to lay clues about Jaime’s sexual inclinations and hint at the fact that he might get sexually aroused by a woman who’s considered “ugly” (in classic George style, this comes up again later on, when he hints at that again with Hildy, and also when he hints to the fact that Jaime does not just get aroused by seeing any woman naked no matter what, when he has Cersei stand up from a bath described in the exact same way as Brienne in the tub, and Jaime does not react). This is important to begin to seed a physical attraction between the two that will pay off at some point later on. 

At the same time, the vulnerable emotional state provides an excuse for both Jaime and the reader to make the reaction ambiguous, because it’s too early in the game for both Jaime and the reader to be totally clued in on what it truly means. Jaime is disturbed by his body’s response in that moment, and blames it on being away from Cersei for too long, and some/many readers handwave it as something that “just happens to guys” (like Jaime isn’t a fictional character whose reactions are written in for a reason, lol). 

I also think they forgot that the arousal happens before Jaime begins his confession about the Mad King. So, in that sense, it’s not even that out of place. I can understand that it would be if Jaime randomly popped a boner in the middle of his confession, but that comes later. At the time he gets aroused, he’s still busy teasing and taunting Brienne. If anything, it almost seems like the erection is part of what kicks him into a more open and honest emotional state. 

Having said all that, I think discussing whether or not there was an explicit line in the script saying Jaime gets aroused is a bit beyond the point. Just as I don’t think the arousal cheapens the scene in the books, I don’t think the omission in the script harms the scene in the show, in terms of what that arousal was meant to convey. It would be interesting to read the script directions, but the way Nikolaj chose to play it, having Jaime be stunned into silence and his gaze lingering just a little bit too long on Brienne’s body before he drops it away, embarrassed, and mumbles an apology, works amazingly well in conveying that sort of subtle blossoming attraction that the erection did, more explicitly, in the books.

[enbyleighlines]

For your modern au prompts, how about Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang best friends going on a shopping trip?

Oooh, sounds good to me!! I hope you don’t mind that I took liberties with what constitutes as a shopping trip! This idea popped into my head, and I wanted to explore it~

—

The bell on the front door gives a twinkling little jingle as they enter. Immediately, the familiar aroma of Wei Wuxian’s favorite arts and craft store rubs against his nostrils like an affectionate cat.

Beside him, Nie Huaisang walks with a spring in their step. In the crook of their elbow, they carry a small but finely crafted handbag, as though they’re a rich socialite on a shopping spree in the big city. “Here we are,” Nie Huaisang says, excitement giving their voice a fun lyrical quality, “Where shall we start, Wuxian-xiong?”

Wei Wuxian can’t help the wide grin that breaks across his face. He scoops up one of the shopping baskets by the entrance. “We should start from the ground up,” he decides, logically, “Let’s go see how sturdy their poster board is.”

“We can always glue a layer or two of cardboard to the base,” Nie Huaisang points out.

“True, true.”

The two friends make their way towards the poster aisle. They’re on a mission, but that doesn’t mean they can’t have fun.

They’re making a diorama as their final project for freshman biology. Thankfully, they were allowed to pick their own partners, and since they’ve become quick friends over the course of the year, it was a no brainer.

Their plan is to create a miniature factory, with its walls, machines, and workers, but then label everything as though they’re the parts of a human cell. Wei Wuxian is certain that it will appeal to their teacher’s quirky sense of humor, and earn them a grade worth bragging about. Nie Huaisang is less convinced, but they’re just happy for the opportunity to show off their talent for arts and crafts.

They sift through their manyu options, poster boards of all different sizes, material, colors, and even textures.

Nie Huaisang pulls out out of the rack and gasps delicately, as though they’re holding a precious treasure. “Wuxian-xiong,” they say, “Feel this one. Isn’t it just like the gritty texture of cement?”

Wei Wuxian runs the tips of his fingers over the rough surface. “Oh wow, you’re right! But won’t that make it difficult to glue things to it?”

“Ah, I hadn’t considered that!” Nie Huaisang gives the poster board another longing-filled stroke. “Perhaps we can use little metal stands for the figurines, and stick the metal through the poster?”

Seeing that his friend’s heart is set on the poster board, Wei Wuxian nods. “Yeah, that could work! We’ll definitely need to add some cardboard to the base, though. We get a bunch of cardboard boxes at the restaurant from shipments and stuff. I’m sure Jiang-shushu won’t mind if we take one.”

Nie Huaisang eagerly takes the paper board and rolls it up. It’s still too long to fit in the basket, but at least they could carry it one-handed. “What next, Wuxian-xiong?”

“Metal wire for the stands, probably,” Wei Wuxian answers, “And maybe some of those things they use in gardens, with the names of plants on them? We can use those to label stuff. Would they have those here? If not, we can probably make our own...”

“There’s a gardening store around the corner,” Nie Huaisang says helpfully.

Wei Wuxian nods sagely. “That’ll do. Oh, and we should probably be keeping track of how much everything costs. How much did Nie Mingjue give you to spend?”

Nie Huaisang gives Wei Wuxian an incredibly self-satisfied smirk. They dig into the handbag and fish out a stack of folded bills. “Oh, we don’t need to worry about money,” they assure Wei Wuxian smugly, “My Gege gave me more than enough.”

Wei Wuxian whistles.

Nie Mingjue, Huaisang’s half-brother, took over management of the family business recently. He’s also been the one looking after Huaisang ever since their parents retired to travel the world. Mingjue likes to pretend that he’s a strict disciplinarian, yet he spends money on Huaisang like it’s going out of style.

To hear Nie Huaisang tell it, they’ve always been a spoiled child. But it seems as though it’s gotten even worse ever since Nie Mingjue became Huaisang’s primary guardian.

Nie Huaisang giggles behind their wad of cash. “So, yeah,” they say, “Money is not an issue.”

Wei Wuxian might be jealous if he was the type of person to get jealous. Instead, he only laughs in delight. “That’s good to know! Let’s take proper advantage of your Da-gege’s generosity, then!”

—

They quickly fill up the basket and have to upgrade to a cart. They take their time choosing the plastic figurines. There aren’t any factory workers, but there are some crossing guards, and a man in an astronaut suit, and they figure they can just pain over them. Nie Huaisang already has a decent collection of paints, but they also grab some new brushes, along with a fine point pen.

Then it’s off to the gardening store for some plastic plant markers, with tips sharp enough to pierce through paper and cardboard. While they’re there, they also grab some short two-inch fences and some mesh to use in constructing the cell walls.

They bring their haul back to the Jiang residence, because it’s closer.

The Jiang house is unusually quiet. Jiang Cheng is at soccer practice, and Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan are both at work at the restaurant. Jiang Yanli is home, though. She greets them at the door, and then immediately moves to prepare tea and snacks for them.

“Your supply run went well, I see,” she says, as she putters around the kitchen.

Wei Wuxian makes sure to plant a big, loud kiss to her cheek before he starts unloading things onto the dining room table. “It went great, actually,” he says, “Jiejie, you have to see all these awesome things we found!”

Nie Huaisang hovers a tad awkwardly in between the kitchen and dining room. It’s not the first time they’ve been to Wei Wuxian’s house, but it’s not a routine experience, either.

Glancing over her shoulder, Jiang Yanli examines the enormity of their haul with a worried expression. The cause of her concern becomes clear when she says, “I hope you didn’t have to use up all of your allowance on this school project, A-Xian.”

“Nope!” Wei Wuxian beams at her. “I didn’t spend a penny. Huaisang-xiong’s rich Gege footed the bill.”

“That... was probably not the best way to phrase that,” Nie Huaisang murmurs to Wei Wuxian, “Please let your Jiejie know you meant my actual Gege, and not an older guy who spends money on me like I’m his sugar baby.”

Wei Wuxian blinks. And then he starts snickering loudly. “She’s not going to assume that,” he assures them.

“What will I not assume?” Jiang Yanli places a plate of rice crackers on the kitchen’s island, and raises one of her brows at them.

Nie Huaisang grabs Wei Wuxian’s arm to stop him, but it’s too late.

“Huaisang-xiong doesn’t want you thinking they have a sugar daddy,” Wei Wuxian confesses, “So they want me to emphasize that, in this case, I used the term ‘their Gege’ to refer to Nie Mingjue.”

Nie Huaisang looks like they want to melt into the floor.

But Jiang Yanli only giggles, demurely, behind the cover of her hand. “Well, I’m glad you clarified that,” she teases both of them, “Both of you are too young to have sugar daddies, anyway. Come, and have some rice crackers while the tea steeps.”

The two freshmen each hop up onto one of the stools obediently. Wei Wuxian stuffs his mouth without thought, while Nie Huaisang carefully nibbles at their cracker like a timid mouse.

There’s a bit of companionable silence. Jiang Yanli pours them each a cup of green tea, and then moves the sugar bowl within their reach.

Then she sits on one of the stools opposite them, and asks, “How are your other final projects coming along?”

Wei Wuxian heaves a dramatic sigh. “Bo-oring,” he singsongs, “It’s all essays and making flashcards for the exams. The same old generic stuff we did in middle school.”

“I get to make a poster for home ec.,” Nie Huaisang offers.

“Ooh, about what?”

“We have to try to design the food pyramid,” Nie Huaisang answers, “Other kids are just making collages out of newspaper clippings, but I want to try my hand at painting the food. I’ve never had a reason to paint food before, except for maybe an apple, back when we were learning how use shading.”

Jiang Yanli smiles. “That sounds fun,” she says, “Just don’t get so caught up in your fun projects that you don’t leave any time for the boring ones.”

“Right,” Nie Huaisang answers automatically.

Wei Wuxian is more lax. “I’ll be fine,” he assures his Jiejie, “Besides, I get my best work done at the last minute.”

Jiang Yanli gives her Didi a look. “That’s not how that works.”

“It is how it works! That spike of adrenaline really helps me get things done,” Wei Wuxian insists, and taps the edge of his nose with a cheeky little smirk.

“But it doesn’t leave you much time to go back and edit, does it?”

Wei Wuxian shrugs. “I make less mistakes on my first drafts than everyone else does on their final copies! If I start turning in perfect papers, then people might think I’m just showing off.”

“You ARE showing off,” Nie Huaisang snips.

That makes Jiang Yanli giggle again. She shakes her head at Wei Wuxian, but in a fond sort of way. Neither try to continue the argument.

“What about you, Jiejie?” Wei Wuxian asks suddenly, “Any fun final projects?”

“Just exams,” Jiang Yanli answers. She’s a high school junior, two years ahead of them. “Though, my math teacher said that anyone who already has an A in the class doesn’t have to take the final exam.”

“Let me guess,” Wei Wuxian says with no little hint of pride, “You have an A.”

Jiang Yanli hides her mouth behind the rim of her teacup. “I do,” she confirms, and her smile is audible in her tone. “So that’s one less thing for me to worry about.”

“That’s my Jiejie! Smartest girl in the whole world!”

“I’m glad you think so.”

“Think so? I know so!”

Nie Huaisang smiles at that. Though the dynamic between Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian is completely different from their relationship with Mingjue, there’s still something vaguely familiar about it.

Just like Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang, really. They’ve got completely different temperaments. Wei Wuxian is a natural leader, charismatic, bold, and optimistic. Nie Huaisang tends to follow the herd, being as indiscisive and anxious as they are. Yet the two of them are often on the same wavelength.

That’s probably why, even though they only met for the first time that year, it already feels like they’ve been friends for a long time.

[thedistantstorm]

Day 22: “We could have a chance.”

Fandom: Destiny

Pairing: Commander Zavala & Amanda Holliday (father/daughter)

Warnings: Feels. Maybe a few tears. FEELS.

-/

It's dark. The sound of crickets echo loud in the damp, foggy night, the roaring fires dotting the landscape not enough to prevent the chill from seeping into his bones. He does not rub his hands together or make a fuss, but he does lean in a touch closer to the fire, lost in his thoughts.

He's brought back to reality by a blanket being thrust around him. A comically large one, even for his frame, in armor - which, he does not go without armor. Not these days.

"Scooch over," Comes a soft drawl, and then Amanda is rounding the bench and nudging him with her knee. "That's an order," She hums, but there's nothing forceful about it. She doesn't have to be forceful to get her way in most things.

Zavala shakes his head, sliding over, and she lifts the excess flap of blanket to tuck herself in beside him. "Hello, Holliday."

"Amanda," She pushes back. "You never were very good at droppin' the formalities, Sir."

He chuckles; It's just a little hiccough of sound. She knows what it means. It's rich, coming from a woman who calls him 'Sir' like it's a moniker for a parent (not a superior) and has almost all her life. His right arm comes up and around her and she burrows into his embrace, careful-like. This is his bad side, he'd been injured at Towerfall. His Ghost had done what she could, but-

"It's fine," He murmurs into her hair, sensing her feelings on the matter. "You worry too much."

"Pot callin' the kettle there," She quips back softly.

"Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree," He reminds her in response, and they share a tiny, secret smile before lapsing into a comfortable silence. "You should be sleeping," He eventually reminds her.

Amanda rolls her eyes. Anyone else would feel the urge to slink away under his scrutiny but she knows it's masking something else. "Could say the same for you. What's on yer mind?"

"Me?" He shrugs, horrible at playing it off. "The usual."

She tsks. He sighs. Seems about right. "Yeah sure. Talk t'me."

Crickets chirp for the longest while, but Amanda, as impatient as she is, has always known when to push and when not to pry. He's fighting whatever's going on in his head. She's not stupid. They're two peas in a pod, anxious as all get-out, as much as they might keep a lid on it. He's just… the picture of calm, while she hides behind a fiery temper and flashy maneuvers. Really, it's a no brainer that he was good with her when she was young.

As she's gotten older, the opposite has been proven, too.

"Hawthorne's somethin', ain't she?" She ventures eventually, eyes darting to his when he continues bearing his burdens in silence.

Zavala tenses and it's the opening Amanda's been waiting for. She pulls herself closer to him and tucks her head against his shoulder. "She is… interesting."

She looks up into his bright eyes, clarifying, "You're not thrilled with her."

"It's-" He almost chews his lip, but instead his jaw clenches. "She is doing great things, and she's saved so many people-"

When he trails off, Amanda sighs. "She don't like the City and it stings, am I right?"

Zavala watches her. Her legs kick out, dangling from the bench before she tucks them up and under her, grumbling about her prosthetic under her breath. The methane rain on Titan hadn't been kind to it, and the cold dampness of the planet’s atmosphere really aggravated old wounds.

"It does," He admits. "I-we did the best we could."

She gives him a sad smile. "All my childhood I dreamed of bein' safe in the City. What my folks wanted fer me, ya know?" He does. "It's weird that she’s so against it, if ya ask me, but she's… I dunno, hear me out, she's not so bad."

"I know. It is just… grating."

She squeezes him around the middle. Not tightly, still mindful. “Try 'n be patient. She's tryin' too, I think."

"I never thought I'd see the day when you told me to be patient," He muses, then continues, sadly, "I never thought I'd see the day that any of this-" He looks down into his hand and clenches it. Amanda lays her fingers over the coil of his fist and wills it smooth.

"We're gonna get through this, Sir."

"You think so? The people here, the refugees act like it, but-"

"We could have a chance. Y'jus gotta believe it. Us Lightless folk, we ain't afraid to fight. An' for this, the Traveler? It's not a bad cause to die fer-"

"Amanda-"

"I know, I know, you don't-" She blinks up at him and stops, her lip quivering at the dewy look in his eyes. "No," She drawls, pushing on his arm, "You quit that or we're both gonna be sittin' here bawlin' like babies. I can't take it when you-"

"I know."

He pulls her into his lap, nose and lips at her temple, eyes shut, lashes tangled in her messy hair. Her arms automatically pull the blanket around them in a messy cocoon and they just breathe, just try to pull themselves together.

"We're gonna get through this," She tells him, fingers fanning out over his cheek. He's almost startled by the size of it, of how much she's grown. The last time she'd been in his lap this way had to be years ago. Before the flight academy, when things were far, far simpler and she was just a little girl and he was her shelter from the storm. Now, he can't tell who's comforting who. It doesn't change the fact at hand: He's proud of her. "We're gonna get Cayde 'n Ikora," She says, "An' we're gonna rough up those big-ugly space rhinos. Together."

"Together," He agrees, and hugs her once more. She makes no attempt to move, arms wrapped loosely around him.

"Was worried my big 'ole head wouldn't fit on your shoulder anymore, what with your gear an' all," Amanda laughs quietly, tucking her head between his wide pauldrons, nose brushing against his neck.

"Never." He adjusts his grip, making sure she's secure. "Good?"

"Yeah. You?"

He rests his head against hers and hums something in the affirmative. She's never actually been sure it's a comfortable position. Not physically. But sometimes you just need to hold and be held onto, Amanda thinks.

It's the first time since this whole thing started that she doesn't have any nightmares.

[dat-town]

hearts in the foam (and typos in names)

Characters: Minhyuk (Rocky) & You

Genre: so much fluff!

Setting: coffee shop au

Summary: You always spell his name wrong because his frustrated face is too precious.

Words: 1.7k

Shoutout for @kmhoodys because I totally stole this from our list of AUs, hope you enjoy it! ♥ Also for @restlessmaknae as a thank you for getting me into the fandom.

Park Minhyuk would like to think that he's a patient and kind person in general. He's pretty sure his friends would agree – maybe not Sanha but that's only because that brat likes to dance on others' nerves. His mom is probably biased but according to her he is the sweetest boy in the universe – okay, most definitely biased. But the thing about Minhyuk is that he gets on well with everybody: with the elderly of the neighbourhood because he's genuinely interested in their stories and is happy to help with their Internet connection when they want to FaceTime with their grandchildren, with his classmates who know they can count on him whenever because he is a trustworthy member of the student council and even with all kinds of animals – except cicadas – but dogs in particular love him. So he's an overall lovable person, okay?

But mornings are definitely the rock bottom for him. He knows he can be pretty grumpy before a reasonable hour but he still tries hard to behave like a decent human being. One thing he needs in his morning routine is some kind of coffee even is he prefers latte over strong caffeine. And since he is a man of reasonable choices he always buys his daily cup of energy in the lovely café on the campus because it happens to be on his way to university. They make it just as creamy and sweet as he likes it. However there's one thing he can't stand about the service there.

“They keep getting my name wrong!” he groans dramatically as soon as he slumps down next to his friends at the lecture hall. They all – except Moonbin who looks like as if he had run the marathon this morning – look up at him just as sleepily as he feels with bones buried under tiredness.

“Who?” Jinwoo furrows his brows as he tries and fails to contain a yawn.

“This one girl who works in the morning shift of the café. I’m a regular but she still asks for my name and manages to mess it up,” Minhyuk blurts out what his problem is all at once. He puts down his paper cup on his desk and glares at it so gruesomely as if it was the source of all his troubles, the bane of his existence.

“Maybe she has very bad memory?” Dongmin tries to reason with a weak guess.

“But come on, I have one of the most common male names in Korea! There are at least dozens of idols with this name,” the offended guy shakes his head and instead of useful advices or mental support what he gets is Myungjun arguing whether there's really that much Minhyuk in the kpop industry and he starts to count them out loud. Only Jinwoo seems helpful and attentive enough to engage in the conversation even further.

“True, you have a pretty usual name. What can she confuse it with?” he wonders and the question makes Minhyuk sigh as he is reminded of all times he faced with different syllables written on the cup instead of the ones he should have.

“Minhyun, Mingyu, Minhoon, Minjae, Min-whatever or today: Minhee! For god's sake, that's a girl name!” he grimaces when he loses counting the names on his fingers. There were even more occasions but he really couldn't keep track on all the names that girl came up with. He was fairly sure she was doing it on purpose and probably spent her time on Naver searching for even more names but the 30 million dollar question was: why? Why would she do that?

“Maybe you should try something new. An English name maybe,” Sanha suggests and Minhyuk can't believe that he's actually planning to take his advice but he has run out of any better ideas. Now he wanted to see once for all if the girl really did it on purpose or not.

 So the next morning when he walked into the café and saw you at the counter, he mustered up all his courage to go to you like he did almost every day and make a bit of a fool out of himself with a smile on his face.

“Good morning! What can I get for you?” You turned to him, lovely as always. He swore your smiles were similar to sunrays warming the Earth and the glint in your eyes was like the stars in the universe. You looked the prettiest in that cute apron out of all the baristas at this place and it was truly devastating that it was your habit that made him frown with each cup of coffee he got.

“A large vanilla latte to go, thanks,” he repeats his usual order almost automatic and when you say the price he already knows, he pays without any other word.

He knows how the process goes by heart. He has been through this routine half-asleep, running to classes and totally out of it too, so it’s no-brainer what's next. So there it comes: you grab a pen and a big empty cup looking up at him with curious anticipation in your expressive eyes.

“Your name, please.”

It takes everything in him not to snap or blurt out his real name this time, but he keeps a straight face as he says: “Rocky.”

He watches your expression closely but you're either oblivious or a great actress because you don't even bat an eyelash before shifting your gaze to the cup and scribbling something on it.

“I'll let you know when it's done,” you promise softly and turning around you start to work on his drink as he sulkily sits down at a table while waiting. These quiet, short minutes has always given him the perfect opportunity to watch over you, the grace in your movements, the way you dance a bit to the silly songs from the radio or just the frown of concentration on your forehead as you draw the perfect heart in the foam of his latte. He almost forgets about his little test until you remind him to it in that melodic voice you have.

He's almost dreadful when you call him and he takes his cup. He shouldn't worry since everybody knows the American movie, you can't mess that up. And yet, you still do. The writing on the cup is definitely too long to be Rocky and isn't even a name to begin with.

You look cute when you are annoyed, it says and he just stands there dumbfounded while you're already serving another guest not paying attention to him any longer. He sticks by just a bit longer watching as the next guest gets his coffee – without heart in the foam! – then his alarm reminds him to get going.

He reads the message again and again as he walks towards the university building. At first he doesn't know what to do with it but then it makes him grin, then laugh. He doesn't even complain to his friends about the coffee girl that day and decides to change his strategy next time he visits.

 It’s a lovely, warm morning, yet he can’t wait to have a hot drink in his hands. This time he came prepared. He waits for his turn patiently but he can't suppress a sly grin on his lips when he finally gets to the front of the queue. You nod in acknowledgement when he orders his usual, curly locks of hair falling into your eyes as you hover over the cup, pen ready in hand.

“Can I get your name?” You follow the routine and at this point, Minhyuk becomes sneaky.

“Yes,” he says simply, irrevocably and for once you seem surprised halting in your movements.

“What?”

“Yes.” he repeats clearer, not breaking eye contact as you croak a brow at him.

“Okay,” you huff out with an amused smile tinting your rosy lips.

Then he has nothing better to do than play with the piece of paper in his hands and wait until you call his so-called name for his done drink. He steals glances at you a few times in the meantime and once he catches you staring back at him. You both look away caught red-handed. Though, it boosts his confidence enough to stride to the counter with pride when you call for him.

“Large latte for Yes,” you say it with all seriousness in the world without any wariness in your voice. The other guests in the café might look weirdly at the two of you but you don’t care.

“Thanks,” he walks up to you and gently takes the cup from your hands finger still brushing yours lightly. Quickly he checks the ‘name’ written on it and he puts a similar paper cup into your hands.

“Hope you are free Friday,” he says with a cheeky smile leaving your astonished once again.

“What?” you blink, fingers mindlessly playing with the used cup you just got.

“You just said yes,” Minhyuk shakes his own drink flashing your writing on it and you look down on the cup placed in your right. It's the one from last time, your compliment and a new line in messy handwriting under your message: Would you like to go out sometime?

Very smooth, you have to give him that and you can’t help but smile. You wondered when he was going to step up his game. You were anticipating, to be honest.

“Do I have to call you by your name then, Minhyuk?” you teasingly ask, mouth curled up in a charming smile as you gaze settles on the boy with most beautiful chocolate eyes you have ever seen. Not to mention the cute nose scrunch he does when he’s frustrated. If he asked you would admit that the first time was a mistake for real, a careless typo but after that you became careless and it turned into a game to play. You’re glad he went along with it.

“I don't know. Maybe you can come up with a better one,” he shrugs now and the smile he flashes you might become your next favourite thing about him. He leans a bit forward and quiets down his voice as if he whispered a secret.

“Maybe you could try something sounding like boyfriend. We will see,” he winks at you and when he leaves the café shop he not only brings his latte along with him but a little piece of your heart already.