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roastyoualive-archive · 6 years ago

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@elskett sent an ask that wouldn’t publish for some reason so, here you go, Kai~! Send a 🙌 and I’ll introduce you to an NPC related to my Muse. || Accepting

This means any minor ‘background character’ in my Muse’s life, such as a relative, coworker, friend, rival, etc. that they interact with in their personal canon.

NAME: Baron Battle

ALIAS(ES): Barry Jules Burnham (Alter ego, before marrying Penelope Peace/Monsoon), Barry Jules Peace (Alter ego, after marrying Penelope Peace), Matteo Julius Marcantonio (Birth name, informally changed during high school, legally changed at age 18), Mattie (Childhood nickname, by Danielle Marcantonio), M&M (Childhood nickname, by Claire/Bloodhound), ‘B’ (By Saul/Scout), Boss (By Lester/Leech, among others), Boss-man (By Niles/Memento, among others), Dear (By Constance/Demonita), Baron Barbecue (By Penelope Peace, in her freshman year; Later by Lyn/Viper), [Teddy] Bear (by Penelope Peace, after entering into their relationship), Dad (By Warren Peace), #164209-S (Confinement number, by various researchers, jailers, and psychologists), [the] Bloody Red Baron (the Maxville Star Tribune), The Baron (by many people), Baron Fucking Battle (by many people, including himself), ‘Barron Battle’ (Sky High yearbook, on certain photos), “Brandon K” (Used by psychologist Dr. Marnie McDougal, M.D., as an alias in There Is No Wonderland Here: Understanding the Criminally Insane, Broadriver University Publishing, Inc., Maxville, CA, 2003), Ashton ‘Ash’ Nobles (Used as an alias while in Europe).

PORTRAYED BY: Daniel di Tomasso (Singing voice performed by Ramin Karimloo)

POWER(S) AND ABILITIES (IF ANY): Pyrokinesis/Pyromancy (largely regarded as the most powerful pyrokinetic in modern history, if not all time), invulnerability, enhanced strength; Fluent in English, Italian, ASL, and French. Speaks conversational Spanish and Cantonese. Following incarceration, knows a handful of assorted insults and a few basic phrases in Russian. Skilled engineer and inventor. Photographic memory. Highly skilled in unarmed combat. Talented and very much interested in musical theater. Highly manipulative, seen by many as charismatic. Owns at least one mug which proclaims him the world’s #1 dad. Can, in fact, drive a standard transmission (but not an automatic). Makes a good omelette.

AGE: 35

D/O/B: December 20th

ETHNICITY: Italian

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Cis male; He/him/his

ORIENTATION: He’s never put much thought into it. Considers himself straight, but might be somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum. He’s not sure. Doesn’t care enough to do the required introspection.

EMPLOYMENT STATUS: Currently incarcerated; Formerly, salesman at AutoWorld North; Prior to that, intern at Hermes Corp. Unofficially, infamous supervillain, founder and leader of the Battalion, smuggler, arms dealer.

CURRENTLY LIVES: Northern Alaska Penitentiary for the Supernaturally Enabled, Solitary confinement wing, floor 6, cell 6-382 C.

PAST RESIDENCE(S): Maxville, California.

ALLEGIANCE: Penny and Warren Peace, himself, the Battalion (in order from most to least prioritized)

ALIGNMENT: A healthy mix of chaotic and neutral evil, with a splash of chaotic neutral for flavour. Nobody really has it figured out.

RELATION TO WARREN: Father.

DESCRIPTION: Matteo Julius Marcantonio (known later in life as ‘Baron Battle’) is the only child of businessman Mercurio Raffael “Mercury” Marcantonio/”Heatwave” and Danielle Gisella Marcantonio (nee Damiani). Mercury sat at the head of Hermes Corp., a massive shipping company started by his grandfather (Baron’s great grandfather) Luciano Marcantonio. This meant that Matteo/Baron grew up wealthy, and wanted for nothing, materially. ‘Too expensive’ didn’t appear to be a phrase in his family’s vocabulary. It wasn’t a terrible childhood. People assume that, to turn out the way he did, he must have been beaten, but he wasn’t. They think his parents must have somehow mistreated him, but they didn’t. If forced to describe them, Baron would to refer to his parents as ‘relatively decent, and terribly boring’. None of them (Baron/Matteo, Mercury, and Danielle) were surprised when his powers came in (roughly at around age 5-6). Mercury was a pyrokinetic, too, and a superhero. Great-grandfather Luciano had been a pyro, as well. It ran in the family. Matteo was, of course, fascinated by this. All of his free time was henceforth devoted to experimenting with his powers, focusing on them to see what he could do. And he had a lot of free time. School was fairly easy for him; he attended a private school called the Simon Blackford Academy for Boys (’the Blackford Academy’, for short). He didn’t really have an established ‘group’ there. Sure, he had people who considered him a friend, he would be invited to birthday parties, or to hang out sometimes, and he could move between circles easily enough, but there was nobody that he really considered a friend. They were all just people, and they were all just there. And at home, there were even fewer distractions. Danielle and Mercury were running a business, after all. It wasn’t that they were terribly neglectful on purpose, they were just busy. They made an effort to speak with him when they had a moment, and let him know he could always come find them if he needed anything. He had the numbers for their office phones if he needed them and they were out. He generally didn’t call. The only other presence in the house came in the form of hired help, most of whom were quite happy to leave their young charge to his own devices, as long as he didn’t get hurt and they got paid. And, if he sits in his room quietly the whole time? That makes their job easier. He would occasionally be checked on by a woman named Claire Abatescianni. A super herself, which was why Mercury trusted her to watch his son without ousting Matteo/Baron’s powers. Claire’s power was a superhuman sense of smell. If you couldn’t guess, she’d had a hard time finding employment as a sidekick. Though Claire never said anything, Baron was pretty sure she only took the job of his ‘babysitter’ to get in good with his father in hopes of getting hired for something more exciting. She always seemed far too cheery to be there. Yes, yay, he’s still in his room, gosh, how thrilling. The older he got, the more irritating it got. He was quite glad when his parents decided he was old enough for a lock on his door (age 12). Aside from the help, his only companion was the radio in his room. He found that he very much did like music. It filled the silence, and the radio hadn’t been paid to like him. He found himself singing along to it while he went about his day. Reading, scribbling in his notebook, straightening out his things, honing and experimenting with his powers… Even walking the halls of the family home, he’d probably be humming to himself. It was something to do, at least, and he did enjoy it. Again, he didn’t resent his parents for being busy. He didn’t resent the help for doing their jobs. He, frankly, didn’t care enough for resentment. He also didn’t know any different. As far as he’d ever known, the day you spent time with your family was Sunday, and the place you spent time with them was in church. Yes, the infamous Baron Battle was raised Catholic. Most people are surprised by that. Mercury was the most devout of all of them, but Danielle was close behind. So, Baron went to church at least once a week, every week, and listened to preachers and priests lecture him about an all-powerful god. This got him thinking. According to the priests and the bible, God made all things. God was, supposedly, infallible. If these two things were true, it meant that God had intended to give Baron and all other supers their powers, which, by extension, meant that God intended them to be above ‘normal’ people, to be better than them. The very term ‘super human’ meant ‘above or beyond human’, and most people, Baron knew, could not shoot fire out of their hands at will. So, that, by definition and by will of God, meant that the average person was beneath Baron in the same way average people were beneath saints and angels and the Lord Himself. On the other hand, if it wasn’t true? If God wasn’t an all-powerful creator, wasn’t infallible, or maybe didn’t even exist? Well, then, why should Baron be beholden to His rules? He should be able to do whatever he wants. He did mention this to his parents, once, and never made that mistake again. Mercury told his son that thinking he was better than most of the planet was Pride and therefore a sin, and thinking about God in such a way was heresy and even worse, and you had better be in confessional next time they stopped by the church to talk to a priest, Matteo, before it gets any worse. Baron, who had just turned fourteen at the time, decided three things in that moment. Firstly, he decided that God was clearly not infallible, as He had definitely made some mistakes when He was making Mercury. Secondly, Baron realized that he had no intention of changing his way of thinking, priest or no, without a tangible reason to do so. Lastly, if God really was powerful enough to send souls to Hell, and if these thoughts would condemn him on their own, what reason did Baron have to try and earn salvation? He’d burn anyways, why not have fun with it? (And the irony of Hell supposedly being a place of fire and brimstone, and himself being able to conjure fire from nothing, was not lost on him.) But again, he didn’t say anything to his parents. He had better things to do than listen to lectures from them. -> Baron had discovered his love of theatrics while he was going to Blackford. There were school plays, and there were readings of classics the students would have to do out loud. Baron thought it was great fun, and his parents were thrilled. Finally, something that caught his interest. Finally, something got him out of the house and socializing without it being like some kind of chore. The drama department at the academy definitely saw a generous donation or two from Hermes Corp. Baron made himself involved with every production the school hosted during his tenure there. Like most, he started out with minor or supporting roles. Towards his later years in the academy, he gradually became used to landing the lead. There were a number of cast and crew photos and handmade commemorative t-shirts stored away in his childhood bedroom. He loved everything about it. Dressing up differently, stepping into another persona, being on stage… It was fun.And, in a way, it helped him connect with people. Or, rather, it helped people connect with him. He decided that he liked the other theater kids, well enough. He couldn’t put on the productions without them. And the drama teacher (Mr. Daryl Gunn) was quite pleased with his star students, and, as many teachers are known to do, tended to let them get away with more than he should. So Baron liked the drama part of school. And yet, as flashy as some productions might be, Baron couldn’t really show off. No powers in public. That was something Mercury always said. Baron argued against it, of course. Don’t show off his powers, dad? Why not? What, are the unpowered masses going to call the fire department on him? Ooh, he’s so scared. … Still, Baron understood the logic. He didn’t like it, but he understood. So, he played along, for the most part. No powers in public. It was stifling, though. Suffocating. Fire is a hungry, chaotic, screaming element to keep contained. It doesn’t belong in a cage. Not being able to use his powers outside was one of the reasons he stayed home so often. So, when he got the letter to attend Sky High, he was actually glad to go. Not surprised, though. Mercury had gone to Sky High, and he’d always said that Matteo would go to his alma matter, too. His son was going to be just like him. Baron took one look at his father, who he thought was boring, simple-minded, and quite frankly uninspired, and decided that, no, he wasn’t going to be like his dad. He wasn’t going to sit in an office all day signing business deals; He wasn’t going to be content living what was to him an ordinary life; And he certainly wasn’t going to be a hero. … But, more on that particular hangup as we go.

-> So, Baron attended Sky High. He had to admit, he’d never had a bus ride quite like that, before. He’d nearly thought he’d discover whether or not God was real much sooner than he’d anticipated. But, no, he was fine. According to power placement, he was more than fine. He was a hero. Or- Hero class, at least. (He learned very early on that the school didn’t really care whether you used your powers for ‘good’ or not.) At first, he was satisfied by this. Yes, he was wonderful, thanks for noticing. But then he got to thinking. On one hand, the social system of the school was laughably easy to exploit, when you were a Hero. On the other, there was so much potential going to waste. Sure, other powers weren’t quite as destructive or immense or- Powerful, for lack of a better word, as his own, but they were still powers. Everyone in the school was still ‘super human’, and we all know how Baron interpreted that word. And there were so many applications for how the powers of his fellow classmates could be used. The fact that there even was a ‘Most Useless Superpower’ award in the yearbook only went to show him that the administration at Sky High was useless. As you’ve probably figured out, Baron always had a problem with authority. This did not help. He could be quoted later as saying “There is no such thing as useless superpowers; only a superhuman lack of creativity”. This is a philosophy he would abide by for the rest of his life. It helped him accomplish two things. First, it increased his motivations to analyze and study superpowers, though no longer limited just to his own. Secondly, it helped him realize that sidekicks - especially upper years, who’d been beaten down by years of being told how worthless they were, or graduates, like Claire - were very easy to persuade to do things. This would later help him in founding the Battalion, but, for now, was just a useful little tidbit to know. Not like Baron had any trouble finding his place in the school, mind. He was smart, he was rich, he was descended from another well-known super, he was a Hero student. He wasn’t a jock, but he was pretty high up on the food chain all the same - especially for the arts kids. He had a decent group of people he usually hung around with. He wasn’t particularly attached to any of them, but, it was all well and good. They filled his lunch table and gave him people to talk to. It gave him an excuse to get out of the house, too. He didn’t mind it. It was better than hanging out with the radio, at least. And, since a good amount of his friends were other theater kids, they at least got his references, and he got theirs. And, whenever it came time to get ready for school plays, they could do line readings together to get ready for auditions and performances. When not in school or at home, you could usually find him at some cafe or another with members of his entourage. Or, you could find him at work. In order to teach their son responsibility, Mercury and Danielle had given ‘Mattie’ an internship at Hermes Corp. It was pretty standard faire. A way to get spending money, at least. A way to learn how a business was run. Useful skills, to be sure, but not very interesting, and it took time away from his research. Back when he was in Blackford, one of the science teachers - Mr. Trent Connery - impressed upon his class that the key to any proper experiment was to write things down. So Baron had taken to writing down his work on his powers. He had to admit, it made a difference. And he would much rather be doing that than sorting files for his parents. With his school now populated exclusively by supers, and home being- Well, home, work was the only place he couldn’t use his powers. It was like a prison. A very dull prison. Mercury didn’t seem to notice. He told his son that, one day, he’d be the one sitting at this desk. Mercury understood it as saying ‘one day, you’ll be wealthy and successful, too’. Baron saw it as ‘one day, you’ll be stuck at this desk, slaving away over paperwork and forced to act as an average human being for the rest of your life, too’. So he decided it was about time to work on distancing himself from the whole thing. It was little things, at first. Flirting with the other interns, growing his hair out, staying out late. That irked his father. But what really got to Mercury was when, after speaking to some of his old friends who had stuck around to teach at Sky High, he had learned that his son almost exclusively played the role of the villain in Save the Citizen. That infuriated Mercury. His son, a villain? No, no, that wasn’t happening. What was so appealing about it, anyways? Baron’s answer was that being a villain was more fun. He had better reasons than that. Heroes had rules they had to follow, villains did not. Heroes had to answer to the public, villains did not. Above all, heroes had to wait for villains to show up before they could do anything, whereas villains could act at any time they felt like. He’d thought through it, of course, as he thought through most things, but he didn’t tell his father. ‘It’s more fun’ would get a better reaction. Mercury was very upset about this. He couldn’t raise a villain! Matteo, that’s not what our powers are for! Baron responded to this by switching from almost always requesting to play on the Villains team to exclusively playing as a villain. It really was fun, and he found his powers were quite well suited for it. The rule book had to be changed a few times because of him, but that was something he was proud of. It was during one of these rule-changing matches where he met his future wife, and one of the only positive influences he ever took to heart: Penelope Anne Peace. ‘Penny’, to her friends, of which Baron didn’t initially consider himself to be one. -> He didn’t know her at all, in fact. She was a freshman, he was a junior. (And yes, if you’re wondering, this was after he got The Perm. It was a hassle to maintain and got in the way of things, but the looks on his parents’ faces made it worth it.) More importantly, she was what society would consider a good person, and he was not. She hadn’t been at Sky High for very long - it was the start of the year - and, being in different years, they had no classes together aside from the very much mixed Phys Ed, so he’d never really had any reason to notice her, nor she him. Baron had been called up to the ring, along with Lyn “The Lioness” van Rueben (later, Lynda Shale/’Viper’), a fellow villain who generated and manipulated various poisons and toxins. Baron had met and befriended Saul within their first year of high school (you can read more of that in Saul’s bio, linked way up at the top), and they’d been sitting together in the bleachers. When the two of them realized that Lyn and Baron had been chosen by Coach Pacer to phase in some freshies, the boys thought it would be hilarious. Baron had even muttered a ‘this’ll be good’ to Saul as he left. He and Lyn weren’t friends, not exactly. They each essentially headed off two different groups. But, they had devastated the STC ring enough times together that they knew how the other operated, and knew how to work with it to make the most damage. A wink from Lyn. A smirk from Baron. The freshies looking very excited and determined. The buzzer sounded. The citizen went up in flames. The rope broke instantly. Lyn thought this was funny, and Baron was proud of himself. Penny called a foul as soon as she processed what had just happened. Pacer had to stop the match and climb down to deal with a group of bickering super-teens. Penny’s argument was that that was unfair, and gave them no chance to react. Baron’s counterpoints were that villains weren’t supposed to play fair, and that if he’d gone through all this trouble to let the citizen die, he wanted to see them die, and wouldn’t bother with a timer in the first place. Lyn took his side, for once. Penny, who was still learning to control her powers and was very frustrated with ‘Baron Barbecue’, made a sweeping gesture with one hand, and accidentally sicked a massive gust of wind and torrent of water on Baron that not only lifted him off his feet, but hurled him through one of the walls. Lyn thought this was hysterical. Penny, for her part, freaked out, thinking she had just killed one of her classmates on her first time participating in gym class. Baron, being invulnerable, was fine, though he was still blinking dust out of his eyes when Saul hauled him to his feet and asked if he was okay. Baron wasn’t really listening, though. He wouldn’t be able to say why, exactly, though he would later be able to write paragraphs on the subject, but he was relatively certain he had just fallen in love with Penny Peace. He said as much, too, quietly and somewhat dazedly. Nobody heard him but Saul, who assumed Baron must have a concussion, and dragged him off to the nurse. Baron snapped out of his stupor and insisted he was fine, flung a few threats around, but ultimately let himself be carted off. He didn’t feel like rejoining gym class, and this was the perfect excuse. -> Of course, the nurses didn’t find anything wrong with him. Though, when Penny came in to check on him, and Baron actually apologized, they were certain they had to have missed something. It was just hugely out of character. He offered to buy her lunch, she apologized and explained she brought one form home, but did say she’d see him later. He considered the fact that she left with a smile on her face a victory. He left before the nurse could look him over again. He liked science class too much to want to miss it. -> Courting her was an effort in and of itself, but one he considered worth it. A lot of running into her in the hall or the cafeteria and making idle small talk working up to the point where she’d approach him first, and then where they’d eat at each others’ tables with increasing frequency. Eventually, it became a daily thing. More often than not, he’d be eating at ‘her’ table rather than his, since he didn’t really care about spending time with the people there. Penny was the one he was interested in, and was quite literally the first person he had ever genuinely cared about, outside of himself. Saul went where Baron went, and since he was decent enough and went along with Baron’s antics, Barry didn’t mind. So Saul and Baron became a part of Penny’s friend group. It took him until nearly the end of her first year to convince her to go out with him, but convince her, he did. It was a fairly simple date. They went out on a Sunday (Baron had stopped going to church with his parents) and went to a park for a walk and to feed ducks. He took her for lunch at a small local restaurant, and she showed him her favourite arcade. They played skeeball and Space Invaders and Baron pooled their tickets together to get Penny one of those over-priced stuffed animals that always seem to be behind prize counters. He walked her home, and carried her the last few steps to her door when he noticed her limping from a blister; She teased him about how gentlemanly it was. He put her down right as Nicholas, Penny’s older brother, opened the door. Penny kissed Baron on the cheek and went inside. It was only as he was walking away, and glanced over his shoulder at the Peace house that Baron realized something that struck him as odd. ... He’d never been happy before. Sure, there were things that he derived satisfaction or pleasure from - getting a good role in a play, good music, fresh coffee, Save the Citizen, attention, burning things, the simple joys - but he’d never been HAPPY. He was fairly certain that that’s what this was. It sounded cliche and corny, even to him, but he wasn’t going to question it. Just enjoy it while it lasted. And last it did. The interesting thing about not really forming emotional attachments is, if you ever actually do make one, you don’t tend to have many commitments to get in the way. As mentioned earlier, Baron had stopped going to church entirely. He’d been thinking for a while about the relationship of God and supers. If God did exist, at any point in time, Baron thought, and if He really could do half the things people said that He could, then, perhaps He was simply a very powerful super, Himself. As Baron grew more powerful, through natural aging and through his own training and experiments, he found it a waste of time to devote his life to worshiping someone who was very quickly becoming his equal (his own thoughts, nearly verbatim). Mercury was very much considering hiring either a therapist or an exorcist to pay his son a visit. Something had to be done about ‘Matteo’. It wasn’t like Mercury got much of a chance to talk to him about it, though. When Baron was home, he locked himself in his room. More and more often, he would be out with his school friends, or spending time with Penny. Danielle said they should be grateful that he was socializing of his own volition; Mercury wasn’t so sure. But, yes, for better or worse, Baron was socializing. He and Penny spent a lot of time together, enjoying the high that comes with a new relationship. It was towards September (before they went back to school) that she finally confided in him about the problems she had with her father. Though he did conceal it well at the time, Baron was furious. Here was this wonderful, lovely, and as far as he was concerned, perfect girl, and she was being hurt. Hurt by someone who by societal decree was meant to take care of her. And the man hurting her was going unpunished. More than that, he was wealthy and well-known, revered by his colleagues in the medical field. Where were all the self-righteous heroes? Why was nothing being done about this? What, they can take down giant monsters, but not monsters who looked like model citizens? ... Before this, Baron had wanted to be a villain because heroes were boring and too bound by rules to be worthwhile. Those reasons still applied, but now, heroes were also inefficient. The more he looked into it, the more he saw the problems with the world that went largely ignored by ‘superheroes’. The government was corrupt. So many crimes went unpunished. The world was broken and cancerous and needed to be fixed. Heroes either couldn’t or wouldn’t fix it. What kind of boyfriend (and later, husband and father) would he be if he let his girlfriend (and later, wife and son) live in a world that was so cruel to her? To everyone? No, he had to change things. Like an overgrown forest, burn down the old to make way for the new. He wasn’t a villain for kicks, any more. He was a villain who thought his cause righteous, and that is a dangerous thing. -> He was also a villain who was still in high school. Even if he had his delusions of grandeur set, he did want to graduate. So, he attended classes. Still spent time with his school group, and, of course, Penny. He joined her closest friends in convincing her to move out of her parents’ house and live with her grandfather, instead. Baron had personally met Penny’s father only once, and did not like him at all; Penny’s grandfather, Peter, was- Passable. Nothing special, but nothing bad. And she seemed happier with him, which was all that mattered to Baron. He studied for exams, just like everyone else. He’d have a table at the library with a few of his crowd, where they’d compare notes or otherwise sit in silence, reading. He and Penny went to Homecoming together. When the drama department announced the school musical, Oklahoma, Baron, of course, jumped on the chance to act in it. He’d always be a theater kid at heart. He went up against a few people for the lead, but none of them would ever prove to be nearly as impactful on his life as one Steve Stronghold. Neither of them really knew it at the time. All Baron knew was that Steve looked especially miffed at not getting the lead, and Baron himself felt quite smug to be the star. He found out relatively quickly he could get a smile out of Penny with renditions of ‘Oh What A Beautiful Mornin’’, and he absolutely abused this fact whenever he could. Out of a mix of spite and pride, Baron began referring to Steve by the nickname ‘Understudy’, which never really went away. He thought the play went well. Another cast photo to go on his wall. His parents went to the opening night, and though he basked in their praise it didn’t do anything to change his opinions of them. Penny went on the first and last nights, Saul went on the first and second (it ran for five days, standard school week), and the theater kids Baron had often surrounded himself went to at least one performance, assuming they weren’t in the play already. Baron quite enjoyed the full-page feature in the yearbook, and the interview for it. Attention was always something he loved. When friends asked him to sign their yearbooks at the end, instead of signing on the back page like everyone else, he’d sign on the shot of himself in costume. Flourish the letters and everything. Nobody was all that surprised. He invited Penny to his year’s prom. She agreed... On the condition that he finally get a hair cut. He would admit to being taken aback by this; He’d had the perm for so long, he’d gotten used to it. So, he said nothing, only thought about it for a moment, nodded, and climbed on the bus to go home. He wouldn’t know until later that Penny had been sure he was upset with her. He hadn’t really been thinking about that, at the time (and he’d kick himself for it later). He was only thinking about what style to try this time. He went out, got his hair cut much shorter and straightened. His parents were very pleased; They thought he might finally be growing up. Until, that is, Baron looked them dead in the face and told them that he’d done it ‘to impress girls’. Mercury didn’t know why he was surprised, but- At least that was a ‘normal teenage boy’ reason for doing things, so he didn’t complain much. And it was a nice haircut. Penny also thought it was nice. Most people who’d been standing next to her at the time would tell you she looked about ready to faint. Baron was satisfied with this reaction, and considered it a victory when she finally agreed to let him take her to prom. He and Saul borrowed Saul’s uncle’s plane for the trip, and were quite pleased with themselves for it. Though it was the first one he’d been to, Baron thought it was a good prom. He and Penny were practically joined at the hip for the entire event. There was decent enough music, decent food, and some joking toasts made to their time at Sky High. At some point, as usually happens at proms, someone spiked the punch, and Baron was fortunate to notice the taste before he’d had more than a sip or two; He joined the rest of the student body in trying to speculate who was the most likely culprit. The top contenders were Troy Barker, Madison Terry, and Coach Pacer. Baron never found out who did it, but he didn’t really care. He got Penny home safely at the end of the night, and then went home while Saul returned the plane to its original location. They got in trouble for the stunt the next day. They were too pleased to worry about the consequences. Besides, they were graduating by the end of the week! What could the school even do to them, anyways? (The answer, of course, was nothing. Which is precisely why Saul and Baron did the exact same thing when Penny invited them to her year’s prom, two years later.) -> Following graduation, Baron moved into the newest student residence at the University of California, Berkely (UCB), where he studied mechanical, aeronatuical, and manufacturing engineering. He’d gotten a decent scholarship to help him out, but his parents were more than happy to cover the finances. It was a good school, he’d worked hard to get there, and, hey. An engineer would do well in the company, so, even if ‘Matteo’ didn’t have any interest in running the family business, they could at least get him a position (and convince him to change his mind later on, perhaps?). Engineering was interesting. Very different from Mad Science class, though - nobody got shot by lasers at UCB. At least, not intentionally, and not the same kind of lasers. He’d still go back to Maxville when he could. Weekends, usually, to visit Penny and some of the high school friends he kept around. He preferred them to people from UCB because his high school friends were all fellow supers, so he could use powers around them. He preferred his university classmates because they could talk about engineering as much as they wanted without causing confusion. As soon as he’d finished moving into his dorm and got settled in, he set about getting his name legally changed. A lot of people he’d gone to school with didn’t actually know his birth name, and he hadn’t introduced himself to anyone at the university as ‘Matteo Marcantonio’, so it wasn’t very difficult. He never really told his parents, either. Part of the whole thing was to distance himself from them, but, also, he just didn’t think it was any of their business. He was an adult. He could make his own choices. -> University kept him pretty busy. As in all of his endeavors, he was determined to succeed. Moreover, he was determined to surpass as many people as he could. If you asked about it, he’d tell you it was, in part, a pride thing. (Most things with him were a pride thing.) So, most of his early ventures into real-world villainy took place over holiday. Small things, at first. Robberies in banks out of Maxville, forging a few documents here and there, that sort of thing. Done outside of his eventually trademark armour, because although Baron lives for attention and acclaim, he’d decided he wasn’t quite ready for the world to know his name. ... That, and he didn’t want it to interfere with his proposal. -> He and Penny had been dating for about four years by this point. She was finishing high school and debating future plans, he was getting ready for his third year of study. While Baron had left most religious ceremonies - and societal laws and customs as a whole - by the wayside, he did think marriage was important. Moreover, he worried if he didn’t ask, somebody else would. So, he called Saul and told him at, if Penny were to call looking where he is, to say he was studying for an assignment, because he wouldn’t be around to answer the phone, since he was going ring shopping. Okay, Saul said, he understood. Barry’s ‘studying’. What neither of them knew was that Penny had found out that she was pregnant a day or so before, and had been working up the courage to call Baron and let him know. So, she called his dorm a few times, then Saul, when she didn’t get an answer (Saul wasn’t in university at the time, but most people who knew the two of them knew that Saul was usually an accessory to Baron’s schemes). Saul, for his part, stuck to the story. Barry’s got a project due, and you know how focused he is, Pen. Hasn’t been answering my calls, either. Okay, she said, she’d try again later. (Baron, of course, was not studying; he was at the second or third jewelry store he’d been to so far. He was being very particular about the ring. It had to be perfect.) So, she called again later (she was getting increasingly nervous) and caught Saul right as he was heading out to pick Baron up (he was going to drive him back down to Maxville to surprise is soon-to-be fiancee). As he wasn’t really paying attention, he’d mentioned off-handedly that he’d let Barry know Penny called when he ‘pulled up’. Why did he need a car if he was studying, Penny asked. Shit, Saul thought. He flubbed something about Baron having gone to a library for a study guide and hung up pretty quickly after that. He decided not to mention this to Baron. Saul drove them back to Maxville that night, and Baron crashed on his couch (as they had both been too tired after the drive to bother getting proper accommodations). He showed up on Penny’s doorstep the next morning, asked her grandfather to speak with her, and simply explained that classes had been cancelled that morning when she asked what he was doing there (they had been, and he refuses to take the blame for it, though it may have been entirely his fault). She was, as he’d hoped, very surprised to see him. He took her out for the day. They went to a park, then out to lunch, then to the arcade they went to on their first date. They spent all of the tickets they won on candy and a handful of cheap plastic rings. They were walking along the coast on the edge of town, and Baron was just about to say that he’d gotten another ring for her when she blurted that she had something she needed to tell him. He said that he needed to tell her something, too. She told him to go first, so he did, and of course she said yes. He was thrilled, though the moment was admittedly sullied when she exclaimed “so THAT’S what Saul was picking you up from!”. But, she was too happy and the moment was too important for him to care about it for too long. After the (initial) high had died down, he asked what her news was. That’s when he found out he was going to be a father. It took him a moment or two to process it, and, yes, he was surprised. He’d always known it was a possibility, sure, but still. He wasn’t used to being caught off-guard. It took a moment for his brain to reboot, and after that, he was excited. Flustered and excited. A father! Him! They were going to have a family! And he- He... He had no idea how to raise a child. But, he wasn’t going to let that stop him. He dropped out of university the next day, and Saul once again helped him move furniture - out of his dorm, this time. His parents weren’t happy. They thought he was throwing his life away. He thought it was bold of them to assume he gave a damn what they thought and promptly cut all ties with the two of them. He had a new family, now, and one he liked so much better than the old one. He got a job at a local used car dealership, and, though he hated it, he had to admit that he was decent at it, it brought in money, let him be much closer to home, and left plenty of free time for other activities. But what really brought in the money was his- Personal endeavors. It was about this time that he really started developing and finalizing his eventually trademark armor. He and Saul also worked on upgrading their hideout to be a bit bigger. He had plans. As overconfident as Baron may have been, he was well aware those plans would require help. Even Alexander the Great had an army, after all. There would be many ‘lesser’ villains and even some non-supers who would join the Battalion (as they grew to call themselves), but most weren’t all that important, in the grand scheme of things. Some of them would end up dying. They came and went. He didn’t start seriously recruiting until after Warren was born. -> Baron was, of course, present when his son came to the world. He was thankful for his invulnerability, as, otherwise, he thought Penny might’ve broken his hand. He didn’t complain, though. He knew he had it easy by comparison. He’d be lying, though, if he said he wasn’t internally panicking - it was a grueling few hours. On August 18, 1990, at 3:42 in the afternoon, Warren Edward Peace was born. The doctors held him first, of course, then Penny, and then Baron. To see him at that moment, you’d have no idea he’d become one of the most ruthless and feared villains in recent history. (”One of the worst,” as the Commander would later describe him.) There was no visible trace of ‘that’ Baron in the hospital room. You’d only have seen a tiny, squirmy new baby, an exhausted new mother, and a new father who was visibly enamored with the both of them. He had his family, now. And he was going to give them the world. -> It’s not easy balancing supering with parenthood. Especially not when your significant other is also a super. Baron had his self-assigned purpose, and he was determined to see it through, so he had to do some serious scheduling. A lot of passing off jobs to the best-suited underlings. By comparison, acting, engineering, and everything else he’d done in his life was simple. But this was his son. He wouldn’t give him up for anything. After a while, Penny went back to work (her aunt had helped her get a job in a psychologist’s office) and Warren was old enough for a sitter while his parents were away. That made things easier. Warren was about three years old - Baron was 23 - when Baron and Saul forcibly took over one of the smaller smuggling rings they’d caught wind of. ‘The Corneli Syndicate’, they’d called themselves. Most of them weren’t too happy with these newcomers, so it was a pretty bloody skirmish. Baron didn’t kill all of them, though. He left a few alive. The most important of the survivors was a young man named Thomas Wilfred Monroe - ‘Tom’, ‘Tommy’, or ‘Monroe’ to his friends. He’d originally been brought into the gang as a drug mule, until his superpowers were brought to light. Tom is a walking pocket dimension. He was invaluable to their operation. To prevent him from squealing, his former bosses had mutilated his tongue. (Later, people would assume Baron had done this. Tom would always scoff at this with a “Barry? Yeah, righ’ ”.) He could still say some things, but ‘S’, ‘T’, ‘N’, ‘TH’, ‘Z’, ‘D’, ‘CH’, ‘SH’, ‘X’ - those were off the table for him. To combat this, he usually carried around a pad and pen. Yes, he knew ASL (had gone out of his way to learn it), but not many other people did. Baron quickly decided the method of writing everything down took way too long and was frustrating, so he dragged Saul off to the first sign language course he could find. From that point on, it became a well-known rule that if you’re in Baron’s personal vanguard - one of his ‘favourites’ - you have to know how to sign. No ifs, ands, or buts. Baron found Tom’s presence made so many things so much easier. Metal detectors no longer mattered. Security searches were a joke. Even the size and weight of things he wanted to steal no longer mattered (to an extent). This meant that the Battalion quickly got a lot of money through nefarious means, but nobody could figure out how they did it. With the increase of success and wealth, word spread quickly in the network of villains, and Baron became even more of a cult figure than he’d originally been. It soon became a trend for those hoping to earn his respect or prove their loyalty to burn the letter ‘B’ somewhere onto their body - usually the back of the neck, behind their ear, on their chest, or the inside of their wrist. Baron, for the record, hated this. Not because he was worried for their well-being; he didn’t care about that. No, he hated it because, if one of those idiots got killed, or worse, caught, it could link them directly back to him. There was a difference between his deliberately showing off or making an appearance during a crime, and someone screwing up and blowing his cover. He did what he could to put a stop to this. Incinerated a few of the more vocal supporters. But, he was never able to get people to stop entirely. The act of ‘branding’ oneself rose to prominence again, oddly enough, after Baron was arrested. Rumors still survive that Baron himself would do the branding, once you passed the Battalion’s initiation, but this is, of course, false. -> With the increased notoriety came an increase in people trying to put a stop to him. There were many would-be heroes going up against Baron, but one of particular note was a young man named Anthony Atwood. Officially, he’d been known as Surge. He’d been graced with supernatural reflexes and agility, as well as the ability to channel kinetic energy. ... He had not been graced with supernatural fire resistance. A fun fact about this fight is that, prior to it, Baron’s armor did not feature a cape. The singed, tattered, and torn cape Baron would later be seen sporting was a trophy from his victory against Surge, which he kept due to a self-proclaimed ‘mixture of sentiment and vanity’. He had to admit, it did look great, and it had such wonderful memories attached to it. -> On the opposite end of Baron’s life were Warren and Penny. Warren, by this time, had already begun to show his powers. Baron was beyond proud. A pyro, just like him - and developing his abilities so early on! He was over the moon. Yes, it did complicate things to have a toddler who could spontaneously combust. Fortunately, both Baron and Penny’s powers were suited to deal with this before it became too dangerous of a problem (though it did make finding sitters a bit difficult). Baron was already looking forwards to sharing all he’d learned about pyrokinesis/pyromancy with his boy. He arranged to have the garage lined with concrete, and have some proper ventilation installed, so they could have a safe place to explore what Warren could do. Penny thought this was a great idea. She wasn’t surprised, f course, but she was glad Baron took to Warren’s powers so well. There was no way she’d let her little boy grow up the way she had. Also, a place for Warren to let off steam without singing the new carpet? Yes, please. She and Baron had been married for about three years, now. (It had been a small ceremony, at a local church. A handful of close friends. Penny’s grandfather and great aunt, and nobody from Baron’s family, though Mercury and Danielle did send a wedding gift which arrived a day late.) Some people had their doubts about the relationship. Baron knew this - a lot of them weren’t very subtle. He didn’t care, though. As far as he was aware, they were happy. Warren was getting ready to start pre-school. He was a bit nervous about school. Baron and Penny were a bit nervous about sending their flammable child out into the world. Baron was sure he could get a man or two into the school system to mitigate any potential damages that may arise. Penny told him this was kind of extreme, and she was sure things would be fine (though she may have considered taking him up on the offer). Instead, they had a series of talks with little War about the right time to use his powers, and how it was a big secret and he couldn’t tell anyone at school. They drilled it into his head like they drilled in stranger danger. Baron had, by this point in his life, memorized the Mr. Rogers theme song, and could probably recite a number of children’s stories by rote from all of the nights spent reading Warren to sleep. He knew about how low he had to stoop down to catch Warren when he tackled Baron after work (the height changed based on jumping variables). He knew Penny’s favourite baseball team (the Maxville Meteors), and bought her tickets to one of their games for their anniversary. He’d never understood the sport, himself - he was more of a soccer fan - but she enjoyed herself, and that made it worth it, to him. Warren was left at home for the game, with Saul, and Penny’s sidekick, Millie, keeping a close eye on him. Baron didn’t mention this to Penny, but he absolutely had some of his more doggedly loyal henchmen wandering the neighborhood on standby, just in case. He was sure she’d say it was ‘excessive’, but, he was allowed to be worried about their son, right? That’s what good parents did. And every moment spent being a parent, being a husband, stirred conflict in his chest. If he would ever meet his match, what would happen to them? What would happen to him if he lost them? It wasn’t that he had lost sight of his cause. He knew exactly what he was fighting for. He was fighting for mornings spent singing along to the radio with Penny while they made breakfasts, for summers spent at the city fair with Warren on his shoulders, for nights spent with his wife in his arms and his son against his chest and winters spent building snowmen and warming up with cocoa and crackling fires, and he was fighting for a world that deserved his family. It wasn’t that he’d suddenly grown a more functional conscience, either. He didn’t regret killing Surge or any of the other heroes who stood in his way. He didn’t regret wiping out other villains who had challenged his authority or posed a threat to him and his. He didn’t regret any count of theft, or smuggling, or arson, or any of the other countless charges he could’ve accumulated, if he got caught. Why should he? But there were doubts beginning to form. At the time, he thought the solution was simple. Become the most powerful superbeing the world has ever known. Powerful politically, powerful financially, powerful martially, powerful in terms of his own abilities. If he could do that, then, what would he have to worry about? What would his family have to worry about? That would solve everything. (Right?) -> He didn’t let on about any of these doubts, though. That would be weakness, which was intolerable in the villain community. He would be lax around Saul, since they’d known each other since high school. And, of course, the higher in the ranks you were in the Battalion, the nicer a boss he seemed. Sure, they all knew he’d kill them if it fit his purposes, but so would any villain, and at least he wasn’t a jerk while you were alive. And he paid well. But being superficially charming wasn’t weakness. Winning loyalty amicably wasn’t vulnerability. And giving people a reason to follow your every beck and call wasn’t airing your anxieties. Hell, he didn’t even know that’s what they were, at first. He’d never had much reason for introspection, before, and especially not since high school. He was Baron Battle, after all. Undefeated, widely feared, already terrifically powerful, basically a cult icon in and of himself, and he had been unwavering and sure in his goal to burn the world to the ground ever since that summer night when Penny had sobbed into his chest that she was afraid to go home at the end of the day. The world was still broken, still corrupt, and he still had work to do. And, hell, it was fun and it was liberating to be his villain self. A persona bound by no rules but his own, beholden to no gods nor kings nor laws of nature. And he was good at it. So, what was this, all of a sudden? He didn’t know, and, as stated before, he kept it to himself, but it always stayed in the back of his mind. Perhaps, then, that’s why he decided to launch his first major foray into politics across the ocean, far away from Maxville, just in case. He’d told his underlings that he was taking a ‘select few’ of them (read: Saul and Thomas, mostly) to England because there was someone there he’d ‘had his eye on’ for a while. While not a complete lie, this would hardly have been a good enough reason for Baron to leave all on its own. He could find patsies and proxies anywhere; they were a dime a dozen. But, this was an experiment, so he wanted to conduct it away from home, to be safe. Why England? He’d just watched 101 Dalmatians with Warren the night before he decided to do this. That, and a while back he’d seen a documentary about some Italian artifacts that were being held in a British museum. Why not be a bit patriotic, bring them back home? ... Or, back to the Barracks, if he liked them enough? Besides, the England election was sooner than the American one, and he didn’t want to wait for too much longer. So, it just made sense to him. So, he packed up some equipment and his men, told his family it was a ‘business trip’ (he’d worked his way up the corporate chain of the dealership, so this wasn't too far-fetched) and that he’d be back soon, and packed off to England. A few noteworthy things happened there. Firstly, he did end of raiding a museum or two. Most of the things he stole did find their way back to Italy (with help from Thomas Monroe, of course), though he did take back a few vases and an old sword or two for the Barracks (also with Thomas’ help). He was challenged by a handful of local supers, too. The first was a flier, Courtnie Smith/Peregrine (KIA). Then came Declan O’Dare/Anvil, who controlled metal (KIA). Travis Porter/Warpdrive, who could teleport (KIA). Ava Hart/Lady Luck, an empath (KIA). Jack Miller/Top Dog, super strength and the ability to eat literally anything (KIA). Most of these fights occurred during his ‘trips’ to the museum, but, once word spread that there was a supervillain afoot, superheroes would flock to try and put him down. The very last one, Kevin Masters/Mr. Amazing (KIA; from what Baron could tell, his power seemed to involve being very good at jumping) had actually managed to tack Baron down to where he was staying, and picked a fight in the middle of Baron packing to go home. That had been annoying. Of course, they weren’t the only supers Baron met during his trip. He just so happened to run into Lester ‘Les’ Lowinski (’Leech’, later on; a siphon who could absorb and redistribute pain and injury) while prowling the darker parts of Liverpool to meet with a contact. Lester was a down-and-out former factory worker who’d found himself rendered obsolete by the ‘miracle’ of innovation, and, y’know what? Tearing the country apart sounded like a damn good time. So he joined the Battalion - rather informally, but nobody cared. Saul didn’t like him at first, but Thomas, with a bit of translation help, seemed to get along with Lester fine, and set about helping him with the whole ‘learning sign language’ rule. Lester would go on to become one of Baron’s chief interrogators. He earned his stripes during the political sabotage Baron engaged in. While Baron’s chosen candidate didn’t technically win, enough politicians and people of interest had been compelled to ‘see things his way’ that he didn’t care. As far as he was concerned, he’d still gotten control of the government, and that’s what he’d set out to do. He’d learned a thing or two which he thought could help, should he decide to replicate the experiment elsewhere. Having felt he’d spent enough time away from home, Baron returned to Maxville, joined by Saul, Thomas, and Lester. It was good to be home. -> Warren was six years old when Baron finally figured out what the nagging doubts were. More and more often, he found his mind wandering away from the war table. It was hard to focus on taking over the world when he kept wondering how Warren was doing at school, or whether Penny was having a good day at work. Perhaps it was that villainy was no longer as much of a challenge as it had once been, that he was growing bored, or perhaps it was that he’d simply come to terms with the fact that he valued his family more than his infamy. Either way, he decided that he was ready to retire. Not completely, of course; he’d always want to operate from the shadows. Kept things interesting, and kept money coming in (And Penny had been talking about going back to school to get a degree, so he wanted to make sure that stayed a possibility). But he thought he was done with all the flashy, take-over-the-world business. He had more than enough power to protect his family, and it had gotten boring. He’d much rather be spending time at home. Perhaps he’d go back to it, someday, but for now, he was done. He told as much to Saul, Lester, and Thomas, who still remained his three favourite subordinates. He also told them what he planned to do about it. Just saying he was retiring and stepping down would be dangerous. He didn’t want people to come looking for him. No, it would be much more effective - not to mention more fun - to oh, say, fake his own death on national television. (He’d always had a flare for the dramatic, after all.) So, he worked out a plan to stage a public assassination attempt on the president, have a small-time hero show up (they had a few in mind), fake his downfall, and escape. Maybe take Warren and Penny on a vacation after, to be safe with the illusion. (Besides, Warren’s birthday was coming up, so he could play the vacation off as a present for his son. And his retirement, well- That’d be a present for all three of them.) It had all been going flawlessly. Baron briefly toyed with the idea of actually killing the president and instating himself, and whether or not he could convince Penny to go along with that-- -> And then the Commander appeared. -> He hadn’t planned for that. He’d been planning on someone... Lower on the ranking list. But he could make this work.He could figure it out. Tar Steve’s flawless moral reputation with a murder in the process. That’d be fun, right? ... It didn’t work out that way. The exhaustion in his voice was just as alien to him as the concept of actually losing when he spoke. He was Baron Battle. He didn’t lose. He just didn’t. Except, apparently, he had. He told Steve not to take off his mask (’Don’t do that to my son, Stronghold’), and in the same breath swore to kill him. (He might not have known how, at the time, but he was sure he could figure it out, given enough time. And soon, time would be the only thing he had.) The day before his son’s seventh birthday, Baron Battle was sentenced to a quadruple life sentence at the Northern Alaska Penitentiary for the Supernaturally Enabled. No chance of parole until his third life. In short, he was never getting out. But if he ever did, he thought to himself, he was going to reduce the Commander to a pile of ash. Steve had taken EVERYTHING from him. His power. His fame. His freedom. Most importantly of all, his family. As far as Baron was concerned, Steve Stronghold was the reason he would never see Warren or Penny again. Steve Stronghold was the reason his son would grow up without a father. If not for the power-negating properties of the room he was in, that thought alone would have made the entire courthouse burn to the ground. -> It’s been eight years since that day. Eight years of solitary confinement. Eight years of having been deemed criminally insane, and too dangerous to mix even with the other inmates. His only contact, outside of the letters he’s been permitted to exchange with Warren and Penny, has been with jailers (particularly, one Warden Maxim Stanislav Magnus, a former super known as ‘Ghostwall’ with a personal grudge against Baron) and the facility’s psychologists. Antisocial Personality Disorder, they say. An extreme case. So textbook and so painfully stereotypical they’d almost think he was faking it, if he wasn’t who he was. The one thing that they can’t explain away in that diagnosis is his relationship with his family. Long-term, committed, and by all accounts, mutually happy and beneficial. That didn’t fit the bill for APD. Baron disagrees with the diagnosis, but of course nobody cares. It’s this discrepancy that’s made him such a fascinating subject for so many psychologists in the know. It’s also what’s stopped him from trying to break out. Does he think he could do it? Oh, probably. It might even be fun. But he worries what his freedom might mean for his family. ... Even so, it’s been eight years. The urge to see his son growing up, hear his wife’s voice, hold his family in his arms and melt Steve’s eyes from their sockets has been growing every day, and it’s getting hard to ignore. And he swears, if he has to put up with one more chunk of ‘bread’ so stale you need to drown it just so it’s edible, he’s going to kill a man. -> Maybe a few of them.

THEME SONG: From Now On - Ramin Karimloo | Confrontation - Anthony Warlow | Let ‘Em Burn - Nothing More

QUOTE:

Barry: I’ve raised armies to my beck and call. I’ve killed people who were supposed to be invincible. I almost took over the world on a whim, people the world over fainted at the sound of my name. But nothing I’ve ever done has made me as proud as being your father. Warren: (Avoiding eye contact) Even if I’m not a villain like you? Barry: What? No- You don’t have to be a villain. I’m not making that choice for you. Warren: I don’t? Barry: Of course, not. You’re old enough to figure out what you want for yourself. If you want to be a villain, great, wonderful. I’ll do whatever I can to help you. If you want to be a hero, I’m sure your mom will be happy to teach you the ropes. Or, hell, you could do neither if you wanted. Be a chef, be a psychologist, be whatever you want. But no matter what you do- I know you’ll be wonderful. Warren: ... Barry: You’re something special, Warren. Really special. And, I know- I’m your dad, I’m supposed to say that. But I mean it. You’re going to make a mark on this world, son, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to see you start off on it. But I’m here to watch you burn, now, and I promise you right now, that’s not going to change again. I’m not leaving. Warren: (sniff) Yeah. Barry: ... Alright, come here. Before you make me cry. Warren: .. Barry: ... When did you get so tall? I guess we-- I, have a lot of time to make up for. Eight years really does make all the difference. Warren: Yeah. I- ... Yeah. Barry: It’s okay, Warren. Everything’s going to be okay, now. Saul: What’s the plan, Baron? Baron: Well, call me old-fashioned... Thomas: Yeah? Baron: I’m just going to kill him, and make him watch. Has the security been disabled? Saul: Locks and alarms, yeah. Vault and I are just finishing up on the cameras. Baron: Leave them on. Let Ms. LaFrance see this, too. She needs to learn what happens when people make things difficult.

#long post //#;r: miss you more than I should (Ｂａｒｏｎ　Ｂａｔｔｌｅ)#;extinguished (ｏｕｔ　ｏｆ　ｃｈａｒａｃｔｅｒ)#;student record (ｈｅａｄｃａｎｏｎｓ)#death mention //#violence mention //#body horror mention //#face horror mention //#mouth horror mention //#mouth trauma mention //#face trauma mention //#eye trauma mention //#eye horror mention //#prison mention //#abuse mention //#cussing //#ask to tag #w h oo boy this took forever #baron heckin battle ladies and gentlemen

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drmaqazi · 4 years ago

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Horrible Blasphemies Against Jesus Christ

Jesus in the Talmud:

Horrible Blasphemies Against Jesus Christ

While it is the standard disinformation practice of apologists for the Talmud to deny that it contains any scurrilous references to Jesus Christ, certain Orthodox Jewish organizations are more forthcoming and admit that the Talmud not only mentions Jesus but disparages him (as a sorcerer and a demented sex freak). These orthodox Jewish organizations make this admission perhaps out of the belief that Jewish supremacy is so well-established in the modern world that they need not concern themselves with adverse reactions.

For example, on the website of the Orthodox Jewish Hasidic Lubavitch group--one of the largest in the world--we find the following statement, complete with Talmudic citations:

"The Talmud (Babylonian edition) records other sins of 'Jesus the Nazarene':

1) He and his disciples practiced sorcery and black magic, led Jews astray into idolatry, and were sponsored by foreign, gentile powers for the purpose of subverting Jewish worship (Sanhedrin 43a).

2) He was sexually immoral, worshipped statues of stone (a brick is mentioned), was cut off from the Jewish people for his wickedness, and refused to repent (Sanhedrin 107b; Sotah 47a).

3) He learned witchcraft in Egypt and, to perform miracles, used procedures that involved cutting his flesh, which is also explicitly banned in the Bible (Shabbos 104b).

End quote from http://www.noahide.com/yeshu.htm (Lubavitch website) June 20, 2000.

[Note: we have printed and preserved in our files a hard copy of this statement from the Lubavitch"Noah's Covenant Website," as it appeared on their website at http://www.noahide.com on June 20, 2000, in the event that denials are later issued and the statement itself suppressed].

Let us examine further some of these anti-Christ Talmud passages:

Gittin 57a. Says Jesus is in hell, being boiled in "hot excrement."

Sanhedrin 43a. Says Jesus ("Yeshu" and in Soncino footnote #6, Yeshu "the Nazarene") was executed because he practiced sorcery: "It is taught that on the eve of Passover Jesus was hung, and forty days before this the proclamation was made: Jesus is to be stoned to death because he has practiced sorcery and has lured the people to idolatry...He was an enticer and of such thou shalt not pity or condone."

Kallah 51a."The elders were once sitting in the gate when two young lads passed by; one covered his head and the other uncovered his head. Of him who uncovered his head Rabbi Eliezer remarked that he is a bastard. Rabbi Joshua remarked that he is the son of a niddah (a child conceived during a woman's menstrual period). Rabbi Akiba said that he is both a bastard and a son of a niddah.

"They said, 'What induced you to contradict the opinion of your colleagues?' He replied, "I will prove it concerning him." He went to the lad's mother and found her sitting in the market selling beans.

"He said to her, 'My daughter, if you will answer the question I will put to you, I will bring you to the world to come.' (eternal life). She said to him, 'Swear it to me.'

"Rabbi Akiba, taking the oath with his lips but annulling it in his heart, said to her, 'What is the status of your son?' She replied, 'When I entered the bridal chamber I was niddah (menstruating) and my husband kept away from me; but my best man had intercourse with me and this son was born to me.' Consequently the child was both a bastard and the son of a niddah.

"It was declared, '..Blessed be the God of Israel Who Revealed His Secret to Rabbi Akiba..."

In addition to the theme that God rewards clever liars, the preceding Talmud discussion is actually about Jesus Christ (the bastard boy who "uncovered his head" and was conceived in the filth of menstruation). The boy's adulterous mother in this Talmud story is the mother of Christ, Blessed Mary (called Miriam and sometimes, Miriam the hairdresser, in the Talmud).

"The Editio Princeps of the complete Code of Talmudic Law, Maimonides' Mishneh Torah -- replete not only with the most offensive precepts against all Gentiles but also with explicit attacks on Christianity and on Jesus (after whose name the author adds piously, 'May the name of the wicked perish')... --Dr. Israel Shahak, Jewish History, Jewish Religion, p. 21.

"The Talmud contains a few explicit references to Jesus...These references are certainly not complimentary...There seems little doubt that the account of the execution of Jesus on the eve of Passover does refer to the Christian Jesus...The passage in which Jesus' punishment in hell is described also seems to refer to the Christian Jesus. It is a piece of anti-Christian polemic dating from the post-70 CE period..." --Hyam Maccoby, Judaism on Trial, pp. 26-27.

"According to the Talmud, Jesus was executed by a proper rabbinical court for idolatry, inciting other Jews to idolatry, and contempt of rabbinical authority. All classical Jewish sources which mention his execution are quite happy to take responsibility for it; in the talmudic account the Romans are not even mentioned.

"The more popular accounts--which were nevertheless taken quite seriously--such as the notorious Toldot Yeshu are even worse, for in addition to the above crimes they accuse him of witchcraft. The very name 'Jesus' was for Jews a symbol of all that is abominable and this popular tradition still persists...

"The Hebrew form of the name Jesus--Yeshu--was interpreted as an acronym for the curse, 'may his name and memory be wiped out,' which is used as an extreme form of abuse. In fact, anti-zionist Orthodox Jews (such as Neturey Qarta) sometimes refer to Herzl as 'Herzl Jesus' and I have found in religious zionist writings expressions such as "Nasser Jesus" and more recently 'Arafat Jesus." --Dr. Israel Shahak, Jewish History, Jewish Religion, pp. 97- 98, 118.

Talmud Attacks Christians and Christian Books

Rosh Hashanah 17a. Christians (minnim) and others who reject the Talmud will go to hell and be punished there for all generations.

Sanhedrin 90a. Those who read the New Testament ("uncanonical books") will have no portion in the world to come.

Shabbath 116a. Jews must destroy the books of the Christians, i.e. the New Testament.

Dr. Israel Shahak of Hebrew University reports that the Israelis burned hundreds of New Testament Bibles in occupied Palestine on March 23, 1980 (cf. Jewish History, Jewish Religion, p. 21).

Sick and Insane Teachings of the Talmud

Gittin 69a . To heal his flesh a Jew should take dust that lies within the shadow of an outdoor toilet, mix with honey and eat it.

Shabbath 41a. The law regulating the rule for how to urinate in a holy way is given.

Yebamoth 63a. States that Adam had sexual intercourse with all the animals in the Garden of Eden.

Yebamoth 63a. Declares that agriculture is the lowest of occupations.

Sanhedrin 55b. A Jew may marry a three year old girl (specifically, three years "and a day" old).

Sanhedrin 54b. A Jew may have sex with a child as long as the child is less than nine years old.

Kethuboth 11b. "When a grown-up man has intercourse with a little girl it is nothing."

Yebamoth 59b. A woman who had intercourse with a beast is eligible to marry a Jewish priest. A woman who has sex with a demon is also eligible to marry a Jewish priest.

Abodah Zarah 17a. States that there is not a whore in the world that the Talmudic sage Rabbi Eleazar has not had sex with. On one of his whorehouse romps, Rabbi Eleazar leanred that there was one particular prostitute residing in a whorehouse near the sea, who would receive a bag of money for her services. He took a bag of money and went to her, crossing seven rivers to do so. During their intercourse the prostitute farted. After this the whore told Rabbi Eleazar: "Just as this gas will never return to my anus, Rabbi Eleazar will never get to heaven."

Hagigah 27a. States that no rabbi can ever go to hell.

Baba Mezia 59b. A rabbi debates God and defeats Him. God admits the rabbi won the debate.

Gittin 70a. The Rabbis taught: "On coming from a privy (outdoor toilet) a man should not have sexual intercourse till he has waited long enough to walk half a mile, because the demon of the privy is with him for that time; if he does, his children will be epileptic."

Gittin 69b. To heal the disease of pleurisy ("catarrh") a Jew should "take the excrement of a white dog and knead it with balsam, but if he can possibly avoid it he should not eat the dog's excrement as it loosens the limbs."

Pesahim 111a. It is forbidden for dogs, women or palm trees to pass between two men, nor may others walk between dogs, women or palm trees. Special dangers are involved if the women are menstruating or sitting at a crossroads.

Menahoth 43b-44a. A Jewish man is obligated to say the following prayer every day: Thank you God for not making me a gentile, a woman or a slave.

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michelles-garden-of-evil · 5 years ago

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Episode 8 Review: A Two-for-One Deal

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 | 3 }

{ Synopses: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

{ Screencaps }

We open in an unfamiliar wood-paneled room with a large tape recorder and surveillance monitor built into the wall. Jean Paul has changed his clothing after seven episodes and doesn’t look haggard like before, both of which suggest that he has gotten some rest since we last saw him. The image of the cryonics capsule finally in focus on the monitor 44(!) seconds later, he switches on the tape recorder and begins his audio journal to the woman he loves:

My darling Michelle Erica, until the day comes when I can talk to you in person once again, I will record these tapes as our journal of events. Without you, my darling, the loneliness is unbearable, but my will to go on is strengthened by the hope that some day you will be back in my arms again.

He's facing away from the camera, which is realistic because he is watching the monitor but weird on a show where, in almost every other scene, everyone backacts nearly all the time. It would have made the most sense to shoot him from the side as a compromise: that way, the audience would see his facial expressions in profile while he views the monitor. Between this and the 44-second shot of him starting the tape recorder and adjusting the monitor controls, the directing in the opening scene is bad.

He sees Alison in the crypt and adds, “Your sister Alison seems to doubt the practicality of the cryonics procedure, but I assure you that-” He stops talking when he hears Alison begging Erica to “help [her] to convince him [his planned resurrection of her] is impossible.” Then he switches off the monitor and the tape recorder and stands there for a moment pondering.

For a while, Jean Paul’s messages to Erica become the main method of recap for his plotline, and the device works well. In this scene, we only have the introduction to the journal, but soon we will hear a lot more. In some episodes, he doesn’t record the journal but talks directly to the cryonics capsule as Alison does here. Not only is it a clever means of exposition, but it’s also often quite romantic (at least for those of us who have crushes on Jean Paul) and more original than the opening narrations that the show starts using in Episode 45 when Bob Costello becomes a producer and the show becomes much more Dark Shadows-esque. I prefer the show’s earlier episodes. While I’m a fan of both shows, I like Strange Paradise best when it’s doing its own thing, rather than trying to mimic Dark Shadows.

Alison shivering because apparently it’s cold.

The next scene opens with Alison shivering as she walks over to the fireplace in the Great Hall. Jean Paul must not only have air conditioning in the Château de Maljardin, but he must have it turned down below 68°F (20°C) for her to be even remotely cold wearing that tweed suit in a castle in the Caribbean. Either that, or the evil of the island casts a constant chill over the château that keeps it cold inside even when it’s over a hundred degrees (37.8°C) on the mainland. If it’s the latter, I understand why most of the characters don’t dress for a tropical climate. But if it’s the former, they are being super-wasteful lighting fires to keep warm in a sprawling château that must cost thousands of dollars per month to air-condition (not including the capsule), and I have no pity for them whatsoever if they’re cold. I guess that Jean Paul values being able to sulk around the house in his business suit over the environment.

If you’re that cold, just turn up the thermostat or go take a walk outside. Seriously, WTF?

Alison reveals to Jean Paul that she knows of Dr. Menkin’s death, and he tries to explain it by claiming that Menkin fell off the dock, even suggesting that he may have committed suicide out of guilt for not being able to save Erica. Alison doesn’t believe him. She then tells him that Raxl says he is possessed, and he denies it. “Surely you don’t take that tale of Jacques Eloi des Mondes seriously,” he asks, “or do you?” He admits that he’s had trouble controlling himself, but blames it solely on Erica’s death. I suppose he’s worried that she would think him insane if he admitted that Jacques possesses him, but, considering how frightened she was by her dream about Jacques, I think that she would have believed him.

Jacques’ portrait is literally larger than life. Also, Jean Paul is adorable.

At the French Leave Café, Dan asks Vangie if she knows anything about Jacques Eloi des Mondes--whose name, you may recall, he learned in Episode 4 when he saw Jacques signed some legal documents with his own name while possessing Jean Paul. Vangie tells him she will take him “on a little trip...back three hundred years”--which, alas, is just a metaphor and no one is going to be pulling out a time machine or I Ching wands to travel to the 17th century. Dan seems a little disappointed when he realizes that. Perhaps he secretly longs to be his previous incarnation d’Anton, bad wig and all. Anyway, he shows her the documents that Jacques signed. She dismisses it as a prank, but also says this: “Even in memory, let Jacques Eloi des Mondes remain dead.”

Vangie’s initial reaction to seeing Jacques’ signature on the documents.

Back on Maljardin, Jacques takes control of Jean Paul again and proceeds to try to gaslight Alison into thinking herself crazy for even suspecting that he is possessed. He shows his cards (so to speak) rather amusingly, though, when he refers to the woman in one of the paintings of Jean Paul’s ancestors as his descendant:

I’m assuming that is the actual line and not a line flub.

The attempted gaslighting backfires and Alison tells him, “Every time I see you, I realize more and more that you are two different people. One is Jean Paul, the man who married my sister, a little sadder since my sister's death, a man I've always admired and been fond of. And the other...like the man I dreamed of.” She then threatens to take Erica’s body with her to give her a proper funeral (how she plans to get her out of the cryocapsule is unclear) and, in that instant, Jacques leaves Jean Paul’s body. Jean Paul refuses a funeral service, which I guess pleases Jacques enough to praise him again? I don’t really know.

Jacques: “Bravo. You handled it almost as well as I could.”

Meanwhile, Jean Paul’s mute zombie servant Quito arrives at the café to collect the legal documents so that Jean Paul can sign them on Maljardin. Dan gives them to him, but neither one can travel to Maljardin because of the winds (which Quito tells him through a hand motion that Vangie interprets).

Dan already knows that he is on the losing side of the love triangle.

After Quito leaves, Vangie tells Dan that the signature may not have been fake and gives him some more background information on Jacques. Most of this is recap, but she does provide the new information that “[her] father was the papaloi, the priest who pronounced the sentence” that condemned him to death via conjure doll and silver pin. “My father is very old,” she adds, “but I am his youngest daughter.” (How old is Vangie, then? Is she hundreds of years old like Raxl and Quito?) She has him choose a random card from her tarot deck, and he chooses the King of Swords. Then she starts drawing tarot cards to represent different characters:

Dan Forrest: Knight of Clubs

Alison Carr: Ace of Cups

Before she can draw a card to represent herself, Quito returns to inform Dan that his plane has arrived. He departs and immediately after, Vangie makes a startling revelation:

The King of Swords was Jacques’ card!

Coming up next: Jean Paul meets up with Tim at the French Leave Café and Elizabeth makes some shocking accusations against Holly. Not as interesting an episode as this one, I agree, but it’s what’s coming up next. As for whether I will choose to write about that or something else, you will have to wait and see.

{ <-- Previous: Episode 7 || Next: Episode 9 --> }

#strange paradise #gothic soap opera #week 2 #episode 8 #review #maljardin arc #ian martin #bad directing #coldest caribbean island ever #cryonics capsule #jean paul's monitor room #tape recorder journal #tarot

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storywars-r · 5 years ago

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1/8 - It's The End Of The World As We Know It

(zandraart.tumblr.com)

Chapter 1 by R

You don't say anything, as you stand there, on the surface of a world which isn't yours. You can't, in these suits; they work well enough but they're so old that the radio is broken. It's better, this way.

Words could only ruin this moment.

It's just the two of you, here, now. There are other people, of course, there are always other people, but in this moment, no one exists. This is to grand a thing for such ideas as selves, as identities.

You hold her hand tightly.

What was your home, what was your world, what was your everything - or maybe, maybe she's your everything - explodes, shattering, a slow motion catastrophe which leaves nothing behind but dust.

Now, there is no turning back.

Chapter 2 by RCD2017 (the one writer to write them all)

It all started a month ago, when you and your girlfriend signed up for the last space expedition to go to the new planet, Ai, also known as the love planet because of it's pink plant life. Perfect place to go to with the person you love. It was going to be amazing.

You left with your girlfriend to Ai. It is amazing, and your girlfriend seems to love being with you on another planet too. Of course, you were both signed up for an expedition, so you had to do work, but it was still amazing. You both weren't alone either, there were other people too. There are always other people, but you didn't mind.

Ai was a really small planet, it was really more of a moon, if you dug down 20 miles (32 kilometers), you would reach the center of it. Meaning that if you drove around it going 60 mph (96 kph) you would go the whole circumference in 2 hours and 5 minutes. The only reason it wasn't marked down as a moon was because of it's plant life, and the extremely dense core, making it have a gravity that was actually about the same as Earth.

Chapter 3 by August W. Stubbes

During that month before it happened, you and your girlfriend enjoyed hanging around on Ai. Everything was so lovely and peaceful. It was nice leaving the overcrowded, overpopulated, and overly serious Earth. Even if it was just for a few weeks.

However, over the time exploring the tiny planetoid and relaxing in the quaint hotel, you would occasionally hear a whisper between passing couples of troubles back home. You were nearly oblivious to what was actually happening. You didn't bother to look into it, you assumed that it was one of the many problems that Earth usually had. Not to mention, you wanted to relax with your girlfriend. Free time was hard to come by.

Chapter 4 by intellikat

You were walking hand and hand along the Nerub Tributary when the sky had turned hot white; a silent flash-bang like a single reboot of the galaxy.

The absolute horror of what had happened did not match the simpleness and efficiency of Earth's destruction. One moment, it was there, hanging in the sky like a beautiful blue fruit, and the next moment it was gone, as that hot-white light faded down to an emptiness sinking into your heart as none other could.

The blackness of the blank sky above confirmed that your planet and home had been obliterated in one, final moment of anger, fear, and resentment that had grown over the past half-century and never been resolved. Not by delegations, nor treaties, nor wars, nor secret alliances, nor peace movements, nor the advancement of consciousness, nor technology and medicine, nor trade and economics, nor education and globalization, nor by anything else had the Earth been spared this crushing end. Humans were incapable of steering their race from this inevitability.

You were still holding Danika's hand, but only barely. Your body felt as if the life had fled from you.

Minutes or hours passed, you don't know which, and then you turned to her. The radios did not work in the old helmets, but your eyes said the same thing.

No earth. No home. Only this... Ai, the pink planet with its overstated beauty and its home to the thirty-two humans of the final expedition.

The thirty-two humans left alive in the universe.

Chapter 5 by Cancer

Only thirty-two... what a small number from billions to tens.

Your race would not thrive very long. How long would your machines last? They are the only things keeping you alive -generating oxygen, food, and water out of thin air. If they broke down, only a few would know how to fix it.

What will become of you if they perished?

Should you try producing more humans, or should you just let the universe decide the fate of humanity? There were more males than females on this planet - most married and with dead spouses on "Earth".

Hope is truly lost. Many have attempted suicide, while others chose to believe that earth still existed.

Five years have passed since then, and you are down to thirty adults and four children. Supplies are being rationed, and everything seems to be fine - at the moment.

Another three years have passed, and you have spotted and claimed a spacecraft from "Earth" which contained a young Japanese girl! You suspect that she knows how the Earth was destroyed, but she is in a suspended animation state and is feeding through tubes.

Chapter 6 by intellikat

Those who believed that Earth still existed had created something akin to a religion, or at least a following. Most of them had been religious in some form in their lives back on Earth, and in many ways it was not surprising that they would create something new here on Ai with what yearnings and impulses remained.

Though they had no priest, nor pastor, nor leader, Danforth was their most outspoken, and was best able to articulate the views of the small group of eight. In brief, they held that the Earth had not been destroyed, but had been raptured away by an all-powerful sentience. For what purpose, you were not clear. The rest of the expedition group had begun calling them Rapturians, and the name had stuck.

The Japanese girl now lays in stasis in the medical housing. Your only qualified doctor, a now aging woman named Cryssel, stands over her, checking her vital signs. Outside, Danforth stalks back and forth.

You look worried, you say to him.

And you're not?

Why should I be?

She's not from Earth, he replies, looking in through a small window.

How do you know that?

God is testing us. He sighs, as if you should know this. He's waiting for us to be purged of the sins of our forefathers that we may repopulate the Earth. Earth waits for us in his reality. Spotless and clean. Ai is our purgation. Our proving ground.

Ai is our home now, Danforth, says one of the others.

No, Danforth says. Ai is nothing.

How is God testing us? you interrupt, trying to get back to Danforth's first statement. With this girl?

Danforth looks at you coldly for a moment.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?"

Danforth shoots you a look that is at once mocking and somehow inviting. The next moment, he is stalking away.

The few of you in the chamber look at one another in bewilderment.

Rapturians, mutters one.

Something in you feels unsettled the entire rest of the day.

Chapter 7 by BluNerd

The emptiness in the sky, where the Earth used to be, it still haunts you, after all these years. You know that you will die on this planet. And there's nothing you can do except wait, savor these few days you have left. This is quite hard, as the rations get lower, so does the general mood of the colony. Hunger brings stress. A few colonists have gone insane, killing themselves. You choose not to go down that path. The Japanese girl has shown signs that maybe one day she will awake, but it is very taxing on the colony to keep her alive. Several have tried to kill her to save food. The doctor did not let that happen. She injected the rogue assassins with an anaesthetic syringe, knocking them out. Their punishment? Banishment from the colony. While still knocked out, they were driven to the other side of this measly "planet" and dropped off. There they would lay until they ran out of oxygen in their tanks. Two humans down. As for the children, they seem to be developing some sort of learning disorder, possibly from all the stress and anxiety in the colony. Even the child that is of 8 years has only learned basic English, the colonists being too busy to properly teach him. Overall, the colony is not doing good.

But that changes when she wakes up.

Chapter 8 by Ev B

Cryssel is there when her eyes open. She calls everyone in the colony. We all gather around the bed she's been in since she arrived. The children are so feral that they can barely be coralled.

Cryssel tells us she removed all of the equipment hooked up to her. The years old artificial breather is in her closed fist. Danforth mutters something about the Antichrist.

Then suddenly, her eyes open- and immediately we all know something is wrong. Her eyes aren't right.

She stares at the people in front of her for a moment, but she's ot really seeing them. Then she turns her head and looks me right in the eye.

"You," she says without words, but we all hear it. I am absolutely frozen.

The room erupts into shouts. The Rapturians are yelling about damnation and the Antichrist. One of the children shrieks, unearthly, inhuman, and we all go quiet.

"Me?" I say.

Chapter 9 by StanG

"Me? Er... what?" I swallowed harder than I'd intended, a large 'gulp' escaping my throat, giving away the fear those dead, black eyes had aroused.

Yes, you! she spoke in my mind. You witnessed the demise of your home world and are chosen to lead your people to their new home.

"Lead? Me? My people? Whoa! I- I think you may not understand the dynamics of this small world, whoever you are!"

Even your young understand the dynamics of this world better than you!

"O- Our young? They can't even speak our language properly. W-

What would they know?"

All will become clear shortly. Ai has been a prominent part of your home world history for many centuries gone and is once again to be your ruin, if you do not leave this place now.

"Danforth? Danforth! Have you any idea what she's talking about? Help me, man!"

Danforth stood nearby, mouth agape and eyes wide open, obviously struggling to get a grip on the proceedings. I tapped him on his shoulder to bring him back to reality, only to have him jump as though he'd been shot.

"Wha-! Don't DO that, man!" he screamed at me.

"I only tapped- ah, never mind! Have you been following what this crazy girl has been saying?"

"Following? Y- Yeah, how could I NOT? Man, I can hear her- in my MIND! She's talking to the kids, too. Did you know that?"

Disbelief overwhelmed me. "She's... talking to the kids?"

"Yeah, man. Like, all the time. Can't you hear her? It's like wind and water in my head all the time."

"No, Danforth, I can't- what? Wind and water in your head? Crysell, is there anything you can do for Danforth? I think he's finally losing his mind."

As though swimming to the surface of a deep lake, Crysell came back to the room, reacting to my voice. The colour returning gradually to her face showed what all of this had done to her, too.

"Abe, I'm not so sure Danforth is losing anything. In fact, he may just be gaining something, as I'm certain we all must be." Crysell spoke slowly, determined to finish her sentence.

One of the young kids decided now would be a good time to scream in one of the most shockingly inhuman voices I'd ever heard.

"Get out of here! Get out! Now!"

Chapter 10 by Shasta

The child was not addressing you, but the Japanese girl. The girl with the wrong color of eyes. The girl who could whisper into your mind, and the other colonists.

Danforth sighed. "What now, Dia?"

The child, a young girl with a bob of brown hair, continued to wail. Her mouth opened and closed, but no words formed. No words could form. No one had taught her the language, and the children were banned from being around most adults to save their innocence. Children were smart. They would pick up on the fact that we were doomed.

The Japanese girl smiled. "Dia just was confused, isn't that right, Dia?"

Dia nodded, muttering a sound of agreement. Danforth and Cryssel seemed to take this without doubt. But, you? You had doubt.

"What was she confused about?" you asked, glancing at the Japanese girl. "Who are you?"

"She was confused about a noise. I am Chaheo." She smiled softly. "Would you prefer if I talked aloud to you?"

"I would prefer to know how you can talk in minds to begin with," you snapped.

Chaheo pointed at Cryssel. "Ask her. She tested on me, and the children as well. Do you know why they can't speak? It's because their words are in their minds. She disabled them from every leaving."

Chaheo unhooked herself from the machines that had been keeping her alive, and walked over to Cryssel. "She has been doing the work the scientists on Earth had told her to do. However, there was a letter of termination sent to her a while back, telling her that it was too dangerous to experiment on the embryo, and to do so on adults. I guess she never got it?"

Cryssel smiled, flashing teeth. "I got it, Chaheo. I had orders from an even higher power to not terminate the experiment."

"God?" Danforth asked hopefully, seeming to dwell inside himself.

Cryssel laughed. "No, of course not! There is no God, not anymore."

"Who gave the orders then?" you asked, feeling an icy shiver go down your spine.

Cryssel sighed. "We aren't alone in this universe. My orders came from one of the other species in the universe. The same species that blew up Earth."

You feel a sting in your heart as you put the pieces together. "You're a traitor. You're the reason Earth blew up."

Chapter 11 by intellikat

You reach for a thermoplaster, which lies on a nearby table, but Cryssel is faster still. Your hand stings and then throbs as she backs away, wrench in hand, and then bolts out the door.

"Get her," you rasp, holding your injured hand with the other.

Three make s start as the children seem to bob and weave in place around you.

"Are you alright, brother?" asks Danforth, and you nod.

The children now begin to chitter, their teeth clacking together in some truly unearthly rhythm that sends a shot through your body. All around you they stand affixed to the floor, yet rocking wildly as if suctioned with cups-- some horrific ritual you've never before witnessed.

#sw unfinished #sw scifi

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danielphowley · 7 years ago

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'South Park: The Fractured But Whole' review: Disgusting, ridiculous and plenty of fun

‘The Fractured But Whole’ is a fantastic follow-up to ‘The Stick of Truth.’ Just make sire your stomach is strong enough to handle it.

For the past 20 years, “South Park” has not so much been pushing the boundaries of good taste and storytelling, as much as obliterating them. And after 2014’s “The Stick of Truth,” the minds behind the show proved they could push just as many limits when it came to the world of video games. Now, three years later, the team at Ubisoft and South Park Studios are back with “South Park: The Fractured But Whole.”

Taking on everything from the superhero movie genre and identity culture to the Catholic Church and common video game tropes, “The Fractured But Whole,” hits all the right notes from the show’s best episodes. The writing is some of the best you’ll find in a game, and it improves on “The Stick of Truth’s” combat and mechanics enough to make it well worth picking up.

There are still some minor flaws that carried over from the first game, namely how easy it is, but “The Fractured But Whole” easily overcomes them, making it a must-play for fans of the series.

The ‘Franchise Prequel’

If you want to get the full story behind “The Fractured But Whole,” you’re going to have to watch “South Park’s” fourth episode of the season titled “Franchise Prequel.” The episode follows the boys Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny as they play superheros as part of Cartman’s Coon and Friends team, from the show’s popular Coon and Friends story arc.

Eric Cartman’s Coon is back in action, and just as depraved and self-serving as ever.

The boys and their friend are working out their plans to launch a superhero movie franchise but end up splitting into two groups, Coon and Friends and the Freedom Pals, when they can’t agree over which kids get their own standalone movies. Butters has also reassumed his identity as Professor Chaos and is sowing discord throughout South Park with his chaos minions.

The game kicks off with you, the mute new kid, as you try to join up with Cartman’s team. Like any good role-playing game, you spend the first few missions shoring up your character selection. You can choose from three initial classes including Brutalist, a tank; Speedster, the movement-based class, and Blaster, a ranged character.

You’ll eventually be able to unlock additional classes and combine classes, letting you mix and match the character setup that best suits your play style. As you move through missions you’ll also gain new party members with their own unique abilities.

Leveling is handled via the game’s hero rank system, which sees you complete portions of the story, side quests, fight enemies and collect specific items, like the unsettling Yaoi-style pictures of Craig and Tweek, to gain experience points. Each new level allows you to equip a new type of artifact, which augments your party by improving members’ health, power and the effects of certain kinds of attacks. You acquire artifacts by collecting them in the world, crafting them or buying them from merchants.

The Human Kite and the alternate universe Human Kite.

Artifacts also impact your party’s might score, which you use to determine if enemies or missions are too advanced for your current ranking. I found the first few artifacts a bit lacking, especially when I purchased a far more powerful one at a nearby shop. That said, they do add another dimension to the gameplay that helps add a sense of depth that was missing from “The Stick of Truth.”

DNA upgrades provide you with additional boosts to your power, though you’ll have to balance the disadvantages they have to your character with their advantages.

Come on down to South Park

Like “The Stick of Truth,” “The Fractured But Whole” lets you explore the entire town of South Park. You’ll visit familiar locales like Tom’s Rhinoplasty and the Photo Dojo, as well as Unplanned Parenthood and, of course, South Park Elementary.

Simply traveling through the town, opening every door and finding every hidden item is a treat. It also helps that Ubisoft and South Park Studios add in more than enough fan service. From the songs playing on the radio to the ads on TV in your friends’ houses to the characters’ closets, the developers mined every bit of the show’s 20-year history to create a living, breathing version of South Park.

Professor Chaos and his minions are stirring up trouble in South Park.

Exploring the town provides you with plenty of opportunities to collect hidden items. Unfortunately, many of the puzzles that block your path are just too easy to solve. Most of the time, you’ll simply punch your way past an obstacle to access a special area.

Of course, your quest sees you come across all of your favorite towns folk including Stan’s dad Randy Marsh, the goth kids, Mr. Macky and Big Gay Al. You’ll need to find as many people in town as possible, take selfies with them using your smartphone, which doubles as your menu screen, and upload them to Coonstagram to ensure Coon and Friends have more followers than The Freedom Pals. Adding followers also adds to your experience, which helps you build your hero level.

Fighting evildoers

“The Fractured But Whole” plays like a classic turn-based RPG. Like games like “Earthbound,” you’ll want to initiate combat with enemies to ensure you attack first or your enemies will get the drop on you.

Ubisoft and South Park Studios largely reinvented the combat system from “The Stick of Truth,” adding a grid format that requires you to place your party members in the right positions to attack enemies. If, however, you’ve got a character that does close combat damage, and another party member is blocking his path, he won’t be able to attack.

Party members’ abilities can spread across multiple spaces on the battle grid, hitting enemies that are above or below your characters. If multiple enemies are lined up in a row, you’ll have the chance to knock them into each other, doing additional damage.

The Freedom Pals want their superhero franchise to be the best in the business.

The developers also added new battle animations for party members’ super attacks. Similar to the over-the-top super moves in NetherRealm Studios’ “Injustice” series, your super attacks will see your characters call in hamsters to charge enemies or fly into the clouds to launch a volley of laser blasts.

Then there are good old fashioned summonses, which let you call in special help from characters to take on enemies.

Who are the evil doers in “The Fractured But Whole”? Sixth graders, ninjas, chaos minions, pedophile priests, kids dresses as Hooters-style waitresses, strippers and a slew of others. Nothing is sacred in “South Park,” and that’s just the way fans like it.

Over time, you’ll gain special abilities that you can use in and outside of battle, helping you to access different areas of the game’s world and snag out of reach objects and upgrades.

My one gripe with the game’s combat is that, like “The Stick of Truth,” it’s a bit too easy. Sure, there were some battles that had me sweating, but for the most part, I never felt like I was in danger of losing. Even when I bumped up the combat to the Mastermind setting, I was still able to largely blast through fights. That’s not to say they weren’t fun, but I’d appreciate something a bit more of a challenge.

Should you get it?

I loved “South Park: The Stick of Truth” and am a huge fan of the show, so I was fully prepared to at least enjoy “The Fractured But Whole.” But the developers managed to surpass my expectations by improving on the previous game’s flaws and creating a deeper experience.

And while combat and puzzles are still too easy compared to other RPGs, playing through “The Fractured But Whole” is well worth the time. If you’re a fan of the series, casual RPGs or just great games in general, you’ll want “The Fractured But Whole.”

Reviewed on the Xbox One

What’s hot: Like playing through a jumbo-sized episode of “South Park,” improved combat system, deeper character customizations

What’s not: Combat is still too easy for most seasoned gamers, puzzles could be more challenging

More from Dan:

What it takes to play video games for a living: Insane hours and tons of stress

Hands on with Google’s Home Mini and Max: Taking aim at Amazon and Apple

Hands on with Google’s Pixel 2 and Pixel 2 XL: Seriously impressive smartphones

Samsung and ADT are merging the worlds of home security and automation

Roku unveils new line of streaming devices following IPO

‘Cuphead’ review: Insane boss battles and cartoons. Yep, it’s nuts.

Email Daniel at [email protected]; follow him on Twitter at @DanielHowley.

#tech #South Park The Fractured But Whole #gaming #South Park #_revsp:yahoofinance.com #video game reviews #_lmsid:a077000000BAh3wAAD #reviews #game reviews #_uuid:47a32c32-3703-3923-824a-e863f2cd18b9 #games #_author:Daniel Howley #video games #The Fractured But Whole #The Stick of Truth

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very-merry-sioux · 8 years ago

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I’m on mobile rn so this will look messy. But I got a few thoughts on this. Will maybe come back to it tomorrow but anyways here goes.

So like, this is one of the things that bum me out about the last arc: new characters, little story beyond literally Atem’s last few days of living. There’s not much to go from there.

If you think about it, Priest Seth’s backstory was shown more than Atem’s. Everyone else was just quickly introduced.

You do get an idea on when Mahad’s loyalty started, when Atem was sucking out the poison from his bite. Understandable if you consider that a) Atem was a child (around 5-6 years younger than Mahad) and b) He was raised in a luxurious, probably spoiled, lifestyle. Yet his lecture about equality spoke volumes of his maturity that age.

And I suspect it didn’t lessen as he grew. All of his priests were loyal to him, even Aknadin before he became insane. His priests were at least 19-20+ years old, he was 16. Aknadin and Shimon were old enough to be his dad. There must have been something in Atem, a 16 year old boy, that a group of powerful adults would willingly follow him.

You get clues on what kind of person he was in every season. He could be playful and serious. He could be fiercely protective and kind. He could be powerful and a huge awkward dork all at the same time. Even when he was insane (season zero) he only attacked when someone was hurt.

As Mahad had known him since he was a child, he probably saw how Atem matured and perhaps thought, “This is someone I will follow til the end”. I suspect it was a gradual thing. He saw the prince become a king, the boy become a man, and became smitten to whatever he was seeing.

I think that since Mahad’s actions are viewed as the bloodiest, fans forget that there have been people who have done a lot for Atem. Beyond what is required for a servant of the pharaoh.

Seth created the friendship tablet and started the tombskeeper clan in hopes that Atem will be free. And I dunno if people are aware: Atem originally did not expect to be freed. Seth just said fuck it and made his own plans. He then got reincarnated to Seto Kaiba.

I also suspect that Isis and Shimon reincarnated. Considering: Ishizu and Sugoroku. It’s also fitting that Sugoroku would be the one to break in the tomb and get the Puzzle, since Shimon mentioned that he had designed most of the traps.

Through sheer stubbornness, Mana in the memory world could see and interact with Yugi and the others. Despite everyone else not being able to. Despite supposedly being only a mental reconstruction of how Atem remembered her. The only one who did that was memory Kisara when she met Seto, and we all know that their bond is as strong as Mahad’s and Atem’s.

And while it’s not verified, there’s a chance Mana could have done a similar ritual to become DMG. It’s a popular headcanon for most people. She most likely did it for both Mahad and Atem if that’s the case.

Dartz wanted a teenager’s soul. A ten thousand year old man wanted a boy’s soul. He actually waited thousands of years to get a chance of taking Atem’s soul. What kind of soul would you need to get that level of obsession?

So besides asking why Mahad would go to such extremes, maybe we should also ask about Atem. What kind of person was Atem that so many are willing to do this much for him? Even beyond death?

#ygo #atem #mahad #merry thoughts

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tatooedlaura-blog · 8 years ago

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Fifth Christmas, Part 2

the series is as follows so far:

First … Second … Third … Fourth … Fifth … Fifth Christmas, Part 2 … Sixth … Seventh … Eighth … Ninth … Tenth … Eleventh … Twelfth … Thirteenth … Fourteenth … Fifteenth … Sixteenth … Seventeenth … Eighteenth … Nineteenth … Twentieth … Twenty-first … Twenty-second … Twenty-third

A/N: I shall now interrupt my regularly scheduled ‘Christmas’ series with an little added bonus ... a little extra floofiness if you will ... Mulder’s Christmas Day with the Scully’s ...

************

He was a grown-ass man.

He should not have damned butterflies playing roller derby in his stomach.

It was only Christmas morning.

Christmas morning with the Scully’s.

All of them.

Nine adults … seven kids … 10,000 presents … one tree … 20 pounds of smashed potatoes … two roasters of ham … three cakes, chocolate with sprinkles, vanilla with cherry filling and black cherry frosting, carrot with to-die-for cream cheese decadence … one shirt collar that suddenly felt entirely too tight and two shoes that squeaked.

He was going to die before he hit the front door.

Noticing his palm-sweating nerves and jiggling knee, she parked in front of the house but didn’t get out, instead taking his damp hand in hers, “are you dying? Do we need to go back home? Are you afraid of the short people that will be hopped up on Santa and Christmas cookies? Are you afraid of the tall ones whom you’ve met or the ones you haven’t? Will you survive my mother’s 2-ton Christmas feast?”

The smile she tried to contain and the panic he couldn’t made her squeeze his knee with her other hand, reaching across the shifter to touch him twice at once.

Butterflies turned to rampant electricity in his veins and a giddy, hitched chuckle arose, “all of the above. I have no idea why I’m nervous but I am and I’m an idiot.”

This time, when her lips feathered his cheek, he nearly busted a gasket but remained calm, “you will be fine. The kids are gonna love you because you’re really tall and look like you would be perfectly willing to give shoulder rides. Just stick with them if all else fails.”

“How do I look willing to give shoulder rides?”

“You don’t but when Hannah asks you to, you will melt and do it and it’ll all snowball and you’ll go home tonight perfectly happy and slightly bruised from the heels that have been banging your upper chest all day.”

Giving her hand a last squeeze, he let go, “come on, let’s go see how my first real Christmas in 25 years is gonna play out.”

He was out of the car and waiting for her before she slowly slipped from the car, not gathering her armload of gifts yet but coming to his side, standing up on the curb to get a better height on him. In a quiet voice that blending with the barely dawning sky, “but you go to your mom’s for Christmas every year.”

‘Cause he couldn’t lie to her, not on such an honest morning, “not every year and it’s never fun or relaxing or remotely real. Usually it’s forced pleasantries and stuffy food and awkward silences and I escape as soon as duty allows.” He didn’t want to bring her down so he kissed her on the nose, a quick peck there and gone, “and we’re going to be late if we don’t get moving.”

Sliding her wool-covered arms under his, she rested her cheeks against the cold material of his coat, hugging him tightly, fierce-protective mode in high gear, “I’m sorry. If I’d have known that, I’d have been dragging you along with me from the beginning.”

He settled his arms around her, face turned, cheek on top of her winter cap, “thank you.”

They stayed like this longer than they should have and the front door opening, her cousin’s voice carrying across the cold from the front porch, “break it up, woman and get your butt inside. The longer you stand out here, the longer I have to keep these kids barricaded upstairs and the natives are getting restless!”

Lifting her head to survey her cousin with a smile, “Shut up, Dave. You’re gonna wake the entire neighborhood.”

“It’s Christmas. They shouldn’t be asleep anyways. Now make room for Jesus and come inside or I’ll have to sic Aunt Maggie on you.”

They hustled after this, not wanting to impose the wrath of Mama Scully and her very real threats of burned ham and coal in stockings. Getting in the front door with both Mulder and gifts in tow, she kicked Dave lightly in the shins, getting his flannel pajamas snowy, “you are not getting a gift.”

“Good, ‘cause I didn’t get you anything either.” Grabbing her head in a hug, “Merry Christmas, old lady.”

Once he disappeared back up the steps, Mulder turned to her, “I like him.”

“He’ll like you back. Trust me.”

They no sooner had gotten shoes off and coats hung then feet began pounding down the stairs, tumbling past them, yelling ‘Merry Christmas’ as they passed. The small people were followed by the big people, Charlie and Dave racing down just as loudly, yelling ‘Feliz Navidad’ and some kind of boisterous holiday exclamation in what sounds suspiciously like Klingon.

Mulder looked at Scully, already feeling his nervousness fading into astonished anticipation, “this is gonna be fun.”

Reaching over, she pulled him behind her by the hand, “come on. The tree’s back here.”

&&&&&&&&&

There were gifts but only two each, then Maggie cut everybody off, her two sons and nephew the loudest of the good-natured protestors, telling them that mass was in an hour and they had 15 minutes to get ready to leave.

Mulder looked at Scully, “mass?”

With a guilty look flooding her face, “I totally forgot to mention that, didn’t I? I’m sorry. We always either go to Midnight Mass or Christmas morning. I guess they didn’t go last night.” Leaning forward on her elbows, she turned to look at him, “you don’t have to go. Mom won’t mind. You can just hang out here and take a nap or just,” digging for the book Maggie got her, she held it out to him, “read this.”

Taking the book but setting in beside her without a glance, “do you think your God is accurate enough to hit only me with the lightning bolt? I mean, I’ll go but only if I can guarantee I’m the only one who’s going to get struck.”

Scully’s lips curved in a knowing smirk, “he’s got good aim but I think you’ll be fine.”

“Then I’d like to go.”

&&&&&&&&&&&

He had never experienced a full-on Christmas mass before, especially not one with 16 people packed in one pew, kids doing their best to be quiet, suppressing their antsy, I’ve got gifts at home waiting demeanor and failing miserably. Scully, though, held his hand at required parts and kept holding his hand at parts where no one else held hands at all.

He missed most of what the priest talked about but he enjoyed the singing and the smells, which he meant to ask about but forgot because of, well, the hand-holding. Soon, they were all leaving the pew for communion and Mulder moved with them but Scully gently shook her head, whispering, “we’ll be back. You stay here.”

He didn’t care about it anyways. Mostly, he just missed her hand and spent the entire time they were out of the pew wondering if he would get it back when she returned.

He did.

He enjoyed Mass very much.

He retook her mittened hand once they got outside, opening her door for her and just grinning when she mentioned he must be trying to store up brownie points for something.

Then she reached for his damp wool glove on the short drive home.

&&&&&&&&&

Breakfast was phenomenally loud, things spilling, burned bacon, which Mulder loved and Scully knew and kept slipping onto his plate. He in turn gave her all his strawberries and whipped cream from his pancakes … partners to the end in both crime fighting and breakfast shenanigans.

Present opening began as soon as the last dish was washed and dried. Mulder chose to settle on the floor against the wall, Scully designated present-passer-outer for this leg of the insanity, stealing glances at him each time she came near and without fail, caught him looking back, locking away every glance like an addled schoolboy who’s crush had just discovered his existence and may forget again with her next heartbeat.

Then she stopped in front of him, a big smile on her face and a bigger box, “Merry Christmas from Mom and I.”

The look he gave her must have been so filled with stunned bewilderment that she suddenly dropped to her knees, hugging him and the big box close, whispering in his ear, “please, smile. You’re gonna make me cry.”

So he did, pulling away to reveal a gigantic grin, “want to help me open it?”

Still crouching in front of him, she shook her head, “nope but I’m going to watch.”

Inside, there was an enormous collection of crazy themed socks and horribly wonderful ties, bags of sunflower seeds, 10 pairs of sunglasses, a whole container of homemade peanut butter marshmallow fudge that he loved with all his soul and stomach and Maggie knew he loved, the entire collection of Star Trek on DVD and a keychain with an alien head on it, which Scully leaned over to tell him quietly that Maggie had picked out everything but the seeds and the ties.

Standing right up, he hauled Maggie up from the couch and hugged her, squeezing her until someone made an amused comment to let go of his mother before he broke her in half.

Not wanting to break the lovely woman in charge of making him fudge, he released her, then sat back down, immediately changing his socks.

After that, Scully turned over the gift distribution reins to Matt and sidled up beside him, leaning into his side more than platonically allowable but less than I’ve seen you naked expected.

He was in some kind of Irish heaven and he never wanted to leave.

&&&&&&&&

Caught in that lull between presents and dinner, the house gradually went quiet, all kids and adult males gone from the living room. Mulder was beginning to wonder what had happened when suddenly, “hey, Mulder?”

The voice had bellowed from the kitchen and Scully pushed him to stand, “I’d go see what he wants or he’ll just keep yelling.”

Mulder disappeared into the kitchen and when he didn’t return after 5 minutes, Scully went to investigate. She found him, Dave, Charlie and all the kids sharing two very large chocolate chip cookies. The entire lot of them turned in unison and wore the same guilty look at which Scully laughed, “you could have at least invited me. I’m starving.”

“We needed sustenance and girls tattle.” Looking down at his daughter, Charlie whispered, “really, it’s just your Aunt Dana.”

“That’s true. Did I ever tell you about your dad …”

“Just get over here, eat your cookie and shut it.”

Reaching her hand over the crowd, “make sure there’s chocolate in my piece.”

Maggie caught them a few moments later but by then, all evidence was gone, crumbs picked up with licked thumbs and chewing finished, swallowing proceeding as Maggie opened the swinging kitchen doors, “what are you all doing in here very quietly?”

12 people said, once again in unison, “nothing.”

“Fox?”

Knowing a mom going after the most vulnerable, he looked her square in the eye, “nothing.”

She squinted in their direction, “I can smell the guilt and it smells like chocolate.” They all stood their ground, even the four-year old, until Maggie just smiled, “get out of my kitchen unless you want to help me chop things.”

&&&&&&&&&&&&

Dinner, once everyone was arranged and Graham was sitting beside Mulder, Hannah on his other side, went smoothly. There were stories and jokes and spontaneous off-key Christmas carol singing.

Mulder also got himself a cheekful of potatoes from Scully, who reached over Hannah to do it, “what was that for?”

“Inauguration. No one gets out of Christmas without potatoes.” Nodding towards Sarah, Dave’s wife, “she got an earful her first Christmas. Be thankful it was only your cheek.”

Joanna spouted off, “I got it in the nose so be extra happy about your cheek.”

“These things, Scully, that I didn’t know and will make you pay for later on are astounding.”

Maggie cut them off, laughing, “so help me, if I have another holiday food fight in this kitchen, I take back all my presents.”

Charlie slowly put his loaded spoon down.

So did Bill.

&&&&&&&&&&

Everyone but Mulder, Scully and Maggie were either asleep or already on their way back home by nine that night and as Scully let out her third yawn in less than five minutes, Mulder nudged her knee, “ready to go? I still have to drive home after we get to your place.”

With a nod, she stood, swaying slightly, “you awake enough to drive my car?”

“Sure.” Giving Maggie another tight hug, “thank you so much for everything. I’ve never … I just … I’ve had the greatest time.”

Squeezing him back, “you are welcome anytime, Fox, never forget that.”

Once on the front porch with the door shut and locked behind them, Mulder stopped her, putting down their bags of gifts and leftovers. Giving her her own hug, then light kiss on her rosy, chapped lips, “there was Mistletoe hanging over the front door but I waited until we dind’t have an audience in case you hit me.”

Guffawing out a frozen chuckle, she shifted up on her toes and kissed him back, close-lipped and quick, “I’d never hit you for kissing me under the Mistletoe, Mulder. Believe me.”

As he opened her door, “Hand. Down. Best. Day. Ever.”

#msr #christmas series #partners to the end in both crime fighting and breakfast shenanigans #some kind of Irish heaven #my writing #xf fanfic #xfiles fanfic

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tebbyclinic11 · 7 years ago

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Una Pizza Napoletana Calls NYC Home... Again

New Post has been published on http://kitchengadgetsreviews.com/una-pizza-napoletana-calls-nyc-home-again/

Una Pizza Napoletana Calls NYC Home... Again

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Few chefs have the following that Anthony Mangieri has amassed with Una Pizza Napoletana. But with each textbook-perfect Neapolitan pie, thin, slightly soggy-bottomed pizzas with crackled, black bubbles and bumps on the crust, he’s gained new converts.

And few chefs have moved—seemingly on a whim—like Mangieri has, closing up shop despite the consistent lines and long wait times. He’s relocated the restaurant to an entirely different city with an entirely different audience, from coast to coast, sleepy beach town to well-established dining city.

Now, after three openings under his belt, he unveils Una Pizza Napoletana 4.0 with Jeremiah Stone and Fabian von Hauske, the chef-owners of Contra and Wildair. They were regulars at Una Pizza Napoletana during its first run in New York in 2004 and were instrumental in bringing Mangieri back to the East Coast. Here, Mangieri plays back each opening (and reopening) of his beloved pizzeria. —Elyse Inamine

No one cared when I first opened my bakery Sant Arsenio in Point Pleasant, New Jersey, in 1993. And no one cared when I opened Una Pizza Napoletana three years later. It was wintertime, and it was pretty desolate. Maybe five people came in. But I always wanted to do pizza; it was my real passion. My dad and I built out the restaurant together. We tiled everything, we built a pre-fab oven from Europe and installed it, we bought a bunch furniture and random things from stores close by. No restaurant equipment. No one knew who I was.

I was 20. It was beyond my means. I had no car, and I would just borrow my mom’s. I baked, starting at 10 p.m. and ending at 2 p.m. the next day. If I made $75 in sales for the day, I’d be pumped. There were many, many years where I was making no money. But I believed in things so much at that point, thinking even if I got another job, someday I’m going to get this little pizzeria going.

Then came the summer of 1996. Andrea Clurfeld, the local food section editor at Asbury Park Press who was a fan of my bread, wrote this long article about Una Pizza Napoletana, and it got a lot busier. We had no employees, so my dad had to take off from his construction and electrical work to help me serve and answer the phone. We’d argue in front of customers. Suddenly, we’d need six pizzas, and I would get so stressed. I was so used to making one pizza at a time—that’s the beauty of the way things used to be. But we made more money in a couple weeks than we’d ever seen. I was there for almost 10 years.

Alex Lau

Anthony Mangieri.

Near the end of those years, I started coming up to New York City on my days off to build a new home for Una Pizza Napoletana, in a long, narrow building on East 12th Street. It was the same deal: I built everything myself—tiled the floor, made the marble-plywood tables—except for the oven. (An older man in the south of Italy built that for me.) I didn’t expect we would be super busy. I just wanted to open in New York and show a larger audience what is the best pizza in the world. At the same time, Ed Levine of Serious Eats was working on a book about pizza. Clurfeld mentioned me to him, he came to Point Pleasant, and I ended up in the book as one of few pizzas he considered the best in the world.

At Una Pizza Napoletana in Point Pleasant, it was never intense. There was never a line. So opening day [in New York] back in 2004, I was completely unprepared. Rob Patronite and Robin Raisfeld of New York magazine had called me to write about the restaurant, then every newspaper after that. I went from a sleepy little business to a big line outside that night. I had no employees, so I hired this Italian guy as a server and he ended up stealing everything I made the first night. It was nerve-wracking craziness. That huge line stayed like that on and off until the day we closed and left for San Francisco in 2009.

I always knew I wanted to make it to the West Coast. That was in the back of my mind when I opened in the East Village. At that point, I felt like I was making the best pizza I could, I was the busiest I could possibly be, and there was nowhere else to go. I wasn’t ready to grow in terms of another location or partners, and honestly I was burnt out. San Francisco was the first time I didn’t do everything by myself. I was trying to change, bike more, do something different. The owner of an old garage in the SoMA neighborhood let me take a third of the space and offered a basic build-out. The people hired didn’t understand what I was about. It was a learning experience on how to manage emotionally when you’re not the one doing everything.

During that year, building Una Pizza Napoletana, I was so out of the loop, but the opening took on a life of its own. So many people wrote about the place. It had such meaning to people. When we first opened in 2010, maybe a couple hundred people came through that night, including my priest. I always joked around with him and asked if there was such a thing as an ancient oven blessing. He did some research, and he found one. So when we opened the doors, and the priest goes in and decides to do a whole mass—with a 100 people waiting to eat. I hadn’t had enough time with the oven and the dough. (Dough is happy in a place where everything is weathered, so freshly tiled, freshly painted spaces don’t do it for the dough). The next few months, I’d come in to work the dough in the morning, leave for lunch, then return to see people waiting at noon for dinner when the doors opened at 5 p.m. It was insanity.

Alex Lau

The new Una Pizza.

This will be my fourth build-out for Una Pizza Napoletana in New York’s Lower East Side. It’s been the least stressful, despite it being the most complicated. We have a designer who is incredible, taking ideas from my old place in San Francisco with the metal work and stuff from Jeremiah Stone and Fabian von Hauske. I haven’t done any physical work at all, more mental stuff.

I’m nervous, obviously. I would say now that I’m more nervous to open Una Pizza Napoletana than I’ve ever been. I’ve been pretty cool with everything—I know how to make the tomato sauce, get the dough right, the oven, all that. But I know that it won’t be what I want it to be for a couple months, though I can’t get too negative with myself. The pizza is my main concern.

I’m happy to be back in New York City. I’ve been spending more time in New Jersey with family and old friends, the reason why I returned back to the East Coast. At the first Una Pizza Napoletana, I slowly built regulars over years, people who loved it, believed it, supported it. They came every week. They became my friends. I’ve seen their kids become adults. Some of them even came to visit me in California, telling me that they’re so-and-so’s daughter. Another emailed me, asking me to invite all the old customers to stand up and eat like back in the day. Recently, I caught up with a dear friend who I haven’t seen in 8 years. We hugged and he said, “Now everything feels back to normal around here.” That is how I feel about everything. It feels like home, and it’s right.

— As told to by Elyse Inamine

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chadpetersondatingblog · 7 years ago

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Ask Dr. NerdLove: How Do I Stop Hating Myself?

Hey Doc, long time reader, first time poster. I’m 20 years old and my MAJOR problem is that I am a badly socialized spiteful thrall of technology (or asshole) Needless to say I am disappointed by this to say the least. Shit I’m average and VERY replaceable as far as humans go. When I say very replaceable I mean I am nothing more than student droid 553471. No defining features and modesty works against me as I see myself as a machine, a tool to produce results but I HATE the entire concept of love. I wish that I could become a techpriest doc, i really do.

So anyway, the women in my town do not interest me.

Bars are OK, not a fan of the Saturday night crowd who get blitzed and start fights. Nightclubs, fuck that I went to quite a few and I dislike them immensely. I am quite out of shape and am working out at home until I can be in shape enough to do team sports (if I am to do team sports I should be in shape enough to make a fucking difference, not puking after running 5 feet. Hang out at my local game store a lot, that’s all cool and i enjoy it, not so great for women but i knew the score there. Conventions at my town fucking suck and are tiny. University, I have SUCH a hatred for communism that will be an instant deal-breaker, also computer science student so I’m at a disadvantage there. I kind of have NO idea of what to do in the real world, if that makes sense, my world is a virtual one and often I wish I could be converted into a tech-priest so I will never have to deal with flesh matters.

Seems that my decisions are powered by hate mostly, I hate communists, I hate hippies, I hate art students, I hate vegans, I support factory farming and would happily demolish a thousand forests to replace them with factories.

I also have such a low opinion of people I am constantly expecting them to stab me in the back or ruin my chances at a career just because they can. Sometimes my anger fades and I receive clarity of my thrall nature.

I genuinely expect women to pass me by and I fully expect them to only humor me to punish me later. Fuck doc, the Tropico 1 soundtrack is the only thing keeping me from thrashing around at my computer desk here.

This is not a question of ‘why don’t girls like me’, its because i’m an simmering angry negative asshole who hasn’t been socialized properly.

I know that this path will not lead to a good place. I have a limited amount of friends, no ones that can introduce me to girls as the friends I’m most active with are the weird-but-fun guys at the game store and my friends that could have led me to women I have fallen away from (moved away and laziness led me to stop talking to them).

I’m fucking 20 now doc, and that is young and I don’t know my ass from a hole in the ground. I have achieved nothing and if my hate continues I will end up far older with way more problems. Time waits for no one and even Time Lords rot.

Therapy is a darned option, I am putting this here so you will not need to.

Yours Sincerely

BalefulEye

You may have put it your letter BE, but I’m going to say it anyway: more than anything else, you need to be talking to a therapist. A therapist is going to be able to provide you with more, long term support and help you develop the skills you need to overcome your anger, than a loudmouth with a blog. The issues you have are deep and entrenched and some of them may be chemical in nature, which will require medication to alleviate. So before anything else, you need to get your ass into therapy. And I mean booking sessions with a qualified professional, not just guided exercises like MoodGym. You need to be working with someone who’ll keep you accountable and call you on your shit.

But whether you do talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, medication or any combination of the above… the issue isn’t that you hate other people because frankly… I don’t think you do. I think you hate yourself and that hate is directed outwards so that you push people away from you. It’s a supremely fucked up way of both protecting yourself and punishing yourself. On the one hand, by being this angry ball of hate, you keep people at a distance so they can never get close enough to hurt you. But at the same time… you’re also deliberately pushing away people who might want to help you. People who might be your friends. But you don’t believe that you deserve friends. You’re not worthy of them or of help. And so… you push them away. You put on this snarling dog persona and snap at people and say provocative things because you believe you’re a pile of shit and don’t deserve anything in your life. You know you’re miserable and that’s good because fuck you that’s why.

Part of it is that you know you’re smart. And as much as I hate to quote TV shows at people looking for advice (actually that’s a lie, I do it all the fucking time), I’m gonna quote some Rick and Morty at you. Because you know you’re intelligent. But you also use that intelligence as your excuse to justify sickness. And in this case, that sickness is the self-hate that you’re letting fester at your core. It’s really easy to come up with reasons for it. You’re smart, you should already be doing better, you should be further along, you shouldn’t be a fat lonely CS student and look at all these other fucking people thinking they’re so happy when they’ve got things you’d kill for and FUCK THEM because they’re happy and you’re not.

And here’s the really fucked up part: you’re also going to fight any changes to get better. Not just because being misery is a way of punishing yourself for your perceived and imaginary sins, but because, quite frankly, not feeling this way is fucking terrifying. It may be miserable. You may be lonely and hate yourself and wish the world would just compress into a singularity… but it’s what you know. Just like you’re terrified of the real world. The virtual world may be leaving you feeling empty and hollow – and I suspect it’s reinforcing some of your issues – but you know it. The real world, as much as you know you can’t avoid it, is scary because it has rules that you haven’t mastered, corners you haven’t explored. Here there don’t just be dragons, there be people, people you can’t just ignore, killfile, block, mute or otherwise shape into what you want.

But you know this has to change. You wouldn’t have written to me if you didn’t want to change. And to a certain extent, I think you’re asking for permission to actually start fixing things.

So while you find a therapist – and Captain Awkward has a couple great posts about doing just that – here’s what I want you to do.

First: I want you to start focusing on getting your asshole brain under control. You know the one I mean: it’s the one that’s dripping poison in your ear and telling you that you’re worthless, that people are just waiting for opportunities to hurt you and you’ll never amount to anything. You’re going to do this by simply being a bit more mindful. I know it’s trendy to recommend things like mindfulness meditation for everything and it has the patchouli stink of the hippies and vegans you hate… it’s perfect for what you want. All you want to do is simply get a handle on your brain and feel things clearly and deliberately, instead of reflexively and impulsively.

You’re just going to sit in a chair, with your back straight, your feet flat on the ground and your hands in your lap, close your eyes and breathe. All you’re going to do is pay attention to your breathing. Just focus on the sensations of your breath going in, your lungs expanding, then contracting and exhaling. This will be insanely difficult. Your brain will go off on a thousand tangents, with at least half of them saying “this is stupid, this is bullshit, what am I doing?” That’s fine. That happens to everyone. When – not if, when – it happens, note those thoughts. Literally “Ok, here’s a thought.” And once you’ve noted that you’re having thoughts… go back to focusing on your breathing. That’s all you do. Sit, close your eyes, focus and refocus on your breathing. Do this for ten minutes every day. It’ll help calm the storms in your head.

(If you’re interested in more about this, you may want to check out 10% Happier by Dan Harris.)

Second: You’re going to stop beating yourself up about where you “should” be in life or what you “ought to be” doing or any of the rest of that. You are going to excise “should” from your vocabulary. There is no “should”, there is just “is”. “Should” is a value judgement based on bullshit. “Should” is part of stealing your contentment from you. “Should” is the cudgel that you’re using to pound yourself in the nuts. You are where you are right now. There are places where you would like to be. But there is no place you should be. Your journey is uniquely your own and trying to force it to a specific timeline or itinerary is going to keep you miserable.

Third: You’re going to embrace imperfection. Right now, you’re using the idea of not being able to do something properly as the reason to not do it.

Case in point: team sports. You want to do team sports? Fine, go do team sports. Stop waiting, stop delaying and stop isolating yourself in the name of eventually joining others. You’re using the fact that you’re out of shape as an excuse to not do what you want to do, and I am here from the future to tell you that you will never reach a point where you think you’re “ready,” because being out of shape is an excuse. As soon as you’re in shape, you’ll say you can’t join because you’ve never played before so you need to learn how to play before you can joint a team. Once you learn how to play, you’ll say that you don’t know how to play with a group so now you can’t.

So fuck it. Start playing now. Except you’re going to shift your intentions. You’re not worried about “contributing” – another excuse you’re using to not do something, another flogger you use to flagellate yourself – you’re participating. Find the leagues that aren’t there for the competition but for the fun of it. It may be an amateur softball league. It may be bowling. It could be kickball. You want to find the people who are just there to have a good time, hang out with their teammates and play some games. Not only will this take the “should” out – again – but it’ll mean that you’ll get in shape faster and more efficiently. It’s far easier to stick to exercise that you actively enjoy instead of things that you have to force yourself into.

Yeah, you won’t be very good. Fuck it. The fact that you’re doing it at all is a victory. It’s proof that you can do more than your shitty, asshole brain tells you that you can. You don’t need to excel. You just need those tiny victories. Let yourself suck at it… just so long as you’re having fun and playing with people who are there to have fun. You can join the more serious teams later on when you’ve leveled up.

Fourth: You’re going to get off the computers. Remember what I said about your virtual world making things worse? This is part of it. I can hear the edgelord in your letter, and it’s pretty clear to me that you’re spending your time in corners of the Internet where people gather mostly to stew in their anger and hate. I don’t care if it’s Reddit, Voat, 4chan, Gab, Slack or just the people you follow on Twitter. The more you expose yourself to other negative, angry people, the more your own anger and self-loathing gets reinforced. The more you listen to people who tell you that you’re a worthless pile of shit, the more you believe you’re a worthless pile of shit. The more people tell you that you shouldn’t be happy… well, even if you don’t believe them, that shit sinks in and steals your joy. Cut it from your life as much as possible.

Yeah, yeah, safe spaces, snowflakes, etc. I’ve heard all of it before and frankly, those are the words thrown around by people who are literally afraid of silence. They dress their fear up as bravery and iconoclasm – I’m so tough I tell it like it is, I’m not afraid of harsh truths – because if they stop yelling for five seconds, they’ll be confronted by their own thoughts. Rolling around in anger and misery doesn’t mean that you’re smart, it means you’re in pain. Surrounding yourself with vitriol doesn’t mean you’re tough. It just means you’re hiding from yourself. You become like a shark, constantly moving and thrashing because stopping means ego-death. It means listening to all the things you’ve been trying to block out.

But here’s the thing about those safe spaces: they’re an oasis of calm. They’re a balm to your anxiety, a cool hand to a fevered forehead. They’re moments when you don’t have to have your shields up, when you’re not getting blasted by a cacophony of bullshit. And whether it’s just for a few minutes, an hour or longer… you’re calm. You’re at peace. You’re in a place where you can just be, recharge your batteries and let go of every tense muscle and relax.

So you need to dial the fuck back on where you’re spending time in your virtual world, with all of your fellow travellers who want you to be just as miserable and angry as they are. I suspect that you’ll find that some of your anger and rage subsides.

Fifth: You’re going to find something meaningful and pursue it. It doesn’t need to be practical. It just has to be something that speaks to your very soul. It could be anything – you might volunteer to walk the dogs at a pet shelter, you might plant a garden, you might take up painting or learning an instrument even if you never master it. It doesn’t matter what it is – it just has to be something you do in physical space, something that doesn’t harm anyone (including you) and that brings fulfillment to your soul. One of your issues right now is that you don’t have anything that you want or that you live for. Well now’s your chance. You’re going to start doing something – anything – that has meaning for you. What meaning? That’s up to you to decide.

Don’t know what it is? That’s fine. That means it’s time to explore and figure it out. You’ve got all the time in the world.

Sixth: This may be one of the hardest parts, but it’s also the most important. You’re going to forgive yourself.

You need to forgive yourself for all those sins that you feel are weighing you down. You need to forgive yourself for the anger that’s taken root in you and for the ways you’re disappointed in yourself. You need to forgive yourself for all the things that you feel like you should have done by now but haven’t and also for using those achievements as a yardstick to measure your “failure”. You need to forgive yourself for the pain you’ve caused yourself. You need to forgive yourself for “being average” and for the time that you feel like you’ve wasted getting here. And when you and your therapist reach your breakthroughs and you start clawing your way out of that hole – and you will get there – then you need to forgive yourself for the time that it took to finally take the steps that got you there.

I’m not going to lie to you, BE. You’ve got a lot to work through and you’re in a position that’s really fucking hard to pull yourself out from.

But I’m here to tell you: it can be done. You can do it. You have the strength. You have the courage and you have the ability. You just need to take that first step.

It’s going to be a long and hard road. It is going to suck like few things have sucked before. But the journey will be worth it and the destination even moreso.

You’re going to be ok. I promise.

All will be well.

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ashleyjacksonblog · 7 years ago