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#that's my favorite thing about reading. i want to create that
melled42 · 18 hours
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Does ewen get bored of being the one to initiate intimacy?
Naw Ewen LOVES it. flirting is a tool, just as feigning innocent chastity to those who don't know, acting extra adorable, subtle threats, and all of it changing to fit the person they're talking to, it's all means to control the situation. Controlling their situation is usually their drive at any moment and it is what's kept them alive all this time.
Enjoy a big ship lore dump if you want, if not skip. or just go to the master post and read whatever you want into it.
however, you notice they rarely if ever initiate intimate things physically. they instead bait Narinder with words or outfits, often to the point of embarrassed frustration, so that he'll take that step. they don't even take his hand, they'll just off their own at best, usually with a side, again, of manipulation, flashing them big eyes and lashes. Even when Narinder responds to the flirting, Ewen early on, especially with almost trying to talk them out of their first time, tries to distance the actual actions and keep to the game. And when he doesn't play is part in the game, getting too intimate too fast, or at all, it really throws them off lol
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My personal favorite, and idk if it came off in the art well enough is the first kiss. Which Narinder initiates. Ewen is less surprised, but I wanted to imply that they were running over the options in their head. If they were willing to just tease him and pass it off, go back to the back and forth they've become comfortable with for over a year at this point, the safe route. Or actually encourage it in their round about way. That means loosing some control over their interactions, opening themselves up just a bit more, and building up more or what they could potentially loose in the end. Its why i try to keep things like stuttering and physical reactions with their ears or the ringing of their bell for when they're having a lot of things going on in their head.
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That's pretty much a microcosm of their whole process of a relationship. Narinder is getting progressively more emotionally attached to someone who's been, at least back handedly, encouraging their, even though logically, he shouldn't be fucking with this power stealing, overpowered stalker. Ewen, is getting progressively more scared of loosing what they have, like everything else. they should be happy the object of their obsession is in reach. Emotionally, they tell themselves to create distance, which goes against all logic of what they want.
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A Study on Mesmer Jr.
(Also Known As: Nott is obsessed with the bigot autistic girl from the time travel gacha game and its her birthday tommorow so lets talk about her.)
(CWs: Ableism, racism, child abuse) I Love Mesmer Jr. Which isn't a secret to any of my friends who have had to listen to me talk about her at length. I cannot get her out of my head. I think she's fantastically written, fun to read about, and just an all around interesting character.
As such, I want to take a moment to pull apart Mesmer Jr, and consider her place in this story. To contemplate why she acts the way she does, and to connect to the themes relating to her character. I hope you enjoy reading this.
A Curious Impression
Mesmer Jr makes an interesting impression when you first meet her. For one, she immediately causes alarm bells to rings when she talks to Sonneto, one of her earliest conversations, who she says she enjoys talking to because of their "shared values" she feels the need to say that she would have liked talking to her more if she were a "full-blooded human."
Which is something that you see a lot whenever she's complimenting an arcanist, or considering arcanists in any positive light. Even if it's inappropriate in the context, she feels the need to assert her beliefs, to say that:
Mesmer Jr, Praise: As an arcanist, your performance really amazes me. Wish you were a pure-blood human.
Of course, as we know, Mesmer Jr is an arcanist. She's a full-blooded arcanist. Being noted to be from a very Important family, and even being implied to be more talented than most of her family in their line of work: (The Fallacy of Idealism)
Nobody is more talented in this than Mesmer Jr. Her bloodline gives her outstanding ability and keen senses, which makes everything clear and intelligible to her.
She's also startlingly obedient. She has no noticeable outward negativity towards what Constantine has ordered her to do to Vertin, despite it seeming to cause pain or stress. Insisting that this is the normal treatment given to patients despite Madam Z's opinion, and we learn Much Later that her boss had an ulterior motive to all this.
She's even noted before we meet her to seem like a:
(Open Sandwich)
???: It is the other one- the one with indifferent outlines that makes her look like a refined machine.
Evoking images of perfectly programmed robots and droids that do what they are ordered to perfectly without question.
Of course, in the same part this line is from, the game is already nudging us to be open-minded when it comes to interacting with her. As the first thing we learn about her isn't her personality, isn't her appearance, isn't even her Voice.
It's her abuse.
Dirtied Hands
Open Sandwich is one of my favorite bits of writing in this game. It creates this incredible tension where you just waiting for the bad thing to happen, the line about how the child labor laws were turned into paper to wrap the sandwich is wonderful, and I love it.
But it's also the first time we ever actually hear about her. It depicts her having a Sensory Meltdown. Caused by her family's uh- blatant disregard for children's rights, and exposing her to a patient at age 12 because her skill was useful for the treatment. The trauma of the event marking the start of her "nightmare."
Of course this isn't the Only Thing she has gone through at the age of 12. The entire events of Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien happened during when she was 12. She might of had even more traumatic experience before that, considering she went to SPDM, a school that we know Very Well for their child abuse, and she Certainly had traumatic experiences afterwards.
She Is a 16 year old therapist taking care of The Foundation's most "unstable" patients, after all:
Mesmer Jr, Suitcase Climate: Those insane people screamed and rushed out of the guardroom. They kept meaninglessly and repeatedly roaring. Then, their blood shed on the snowy ground. I've seen that a lot.
The Rights of Children Don't Matter when there is Scarcity. Her needs are secondary to The Company's. Her welfare simply isn't important for the Foundation's Beautiful Future. Only the skills and infromation she can provide.
Constantine even manipulated Mesmer Jr into telling her the plan. Purposefully traumatizing her so that she would become scared and anxious. She Asked her to help them, trusting that Constantine, an adult she trusted, would be able to help. Constantine just lied, and made her continue to treat these people even when the experience mind numbingly traumatic for even fully-grown adults.
As a result, Mesmer Jr has developed multiple mental illnesses. Most notable OCD, but she seems to hallucinate in her Monologue.
She's not exactly a healthy person, which really compounds how much you Don't want her to be a therapist.
Of course, it's not like she would ever seek actual proper treatment for it.
For many reasons.
For one, Reverse 1999 is not exactly a kind world to the mentally ill, and she herself is a good example as to why.
Proper Treatment
Let's go back to the first thing I mentioned about Mesmer Jr. She's a bigot, she's a certified racist to every arcanist she ever talks to. She thinks humans are the superior race that will overtake arcanists.
She's also ableist. Just horrible ableist. These two bigotries are intertwined in Very important ways. Her hatred of arcanists is informed by her hatred of the mentally ill, and is further informed by what she has been taught about arcanists.
Reverse has established that the way arcanists and humans are generally viewed is that arcanists are the more emotional, unstable, immature ones and humans are the more logical, stable, and mature ones.
Now, this is a stereotype, one that has been proven wrong time and time again. There is nothing logical, stable, or mature about being so upset at a 12 year old you think killing her friends is a good idea.
And similarly, there is nothing actually inherently wrong about being a weirdo, or mentally ill. For one, uh, everyone is a bit of a freak sometimes, and two, Mesmer Jr treats it as if for the world to get better arcanists need to fully disappear and be replaced with human rationality, but Madam Hoffman says it best:
(Chapter 6 Part 15: With Hope Rekindled)
Hofmann: We have all heard it, humans are more rational and arcanists are more emotional. Hofmann: Their sensitive to the darkness of the world, so they can easily become absorbed in their own emotions and ignore reality Hofmann: But, if we put a human child in the position of an arcanist, who always takes on the world because of his uniqueness, who is never understood for his talents... Hoffmann: Maybe he too will become impulsive, sensitive immature and unstable Hoffmann: And that's why it sometimes dawns on me that if we put an arcanist child in the position of a human being who receives enough love, education, and positive feedback... Hoffmann: These 'instabilities' might be controllable. At least enough to keep them from hurting themselves or others.
But Mesmer Jr really does believe wholeheartedly that being a "freak" is bad, and that being an arcanist is to blame for why she is one.
Mesmer Jr, Hat and Hair: Thanks to it, we are all freaks now. Haven't you ever blamed your brain? Haven't you for once vomited due to the sound or whisper in your brain? How naive and ignorant.
That being an arcanist is something inherently wrong, and as a result of that inherent wrongness, that inherent "insanity," they need to be controlled by humanity.
Mesmer Jr, Chitchat II: I can only stand those arcanists from the Foundation and the Laplace. After all, their insanity is contained by humans.
She believes that humans are destined to overtake arcanists like it's natural selection. That it's only inevitable that arcanists will be overtaken by a species that in her eyes, is logical and understandable.
Mesmer Jr, To the Future: Just like Homo sapiens wiped out Neanderthals, arcanists will be eliminated as well. This is not a prediction, but a predestined fate.
This is, of course, due to the systemic part of Reverse's world constantly pushing this idea that arcanists are Inherently more immature and chaotic.
Constantine and her family deeply traumatized Mesmer Jr and then told her it wasn't actually their fault but this Other Group that She is also apart of but Don't Worry it can Be Controlled.
Mesmer Jr: It's not just about age. It was never going to be suitable for me. Mesmer Jr: Unless one day all the arcanists are gone. Pandora Wilson: Then you and I will be gone, too. Mesmer Jr: Exactly, along with the source of my pain
However, Mesmer Jr's own mental illnesses and susceptibility towards being overwhelmed by others emotions does really mean that she finds being around highly emotional people Taxing. She also finds that the unpredictable of life and other people Tiresome.
She was friends with Vertin in the rest when she was younger sure, but even then she did find arcanists overwhelming and "scary," even when she wasn't in the full thick of it, she saw them being treated and found it unpleasant and painful.
(Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien)
Mesmer Jr: But I'm not interested in arcanists. They are all mad people, and we had to treat them after all...They looked scary.
Now, usually, you grow out of this. She's not Born To Be Racist Forever.
In a better world she very much could have, I dunno-
Be able to actually internalize that arcanists aren't actually inherently a harmful thing, but that her needs sometimes conflict with the needs of others and grew up with the tools necessary to understand that this is a fixable problem that doesn't actually need a whole group of people including herself to die to be solved.
Or, something like that.
However, this isn't that world, this world thinks Mesmer Jr is a good therapist, and that her treatment is humane.
So she's seeks to create stability in the world as a result of that lack of support.
Mesmer Jr, Hobby: What you see is the alignment and tidiness. What I adore is this orderly state.
As much as she understands that it's a sign of her own "franticness" that she does this, it gives her comfort knowing that she has things that she Can Control. That her life isn't actually dictated fully by things out of her understanding. That she has the ability to direct her life in a small, maybe even insignificant way.
Cause, she really just doesn't have much control over her life.
Press the Button
Mesmer Jr, Clothing and Torso: ...Achieve the function.
A lot of Mesmer Jr's idolization of humanity comes from this idea of efficiency and simplicity. She talks so much about rationality and "tidiness," but as I've already established Reverse is full of so many instances of "human insanity" so it's plain ignorant to ascribe this trait to humans.
Which, well one she is ignorant, and also racism isn't rational and Mesmer Jr was taught human supremacy of course it's not going to be aligned with actual reality.
Which is true.
However, I do think it's interesting these traits that she idolizes are not from humans but from:
Mesmer Jr, Clothing and Torso: Humans are like machinery, simple and efficient. Arcanists are quite the opposite.
That's who she's actually idolizing here, isn't it? She's not really idolizing humans, that's just the framework she was given. She's idolizing machines and going "Wow humans are so cool."
Her Udimo is a machine.
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Not just any machine, but a machine invented in part By Her Workplace, and even when she was 12 the narrator describes her as a "refined machine." Indifferent and rigid.
This is the beautiful controlled being that she is seeking! The beautiful tidy, orderly, calm being that just proceeds with whatever order is given to it. One that has...completely no control over it's life, and what to do with it.
Because, traditionally speaking, Machines do not have the ability to self-determine. They don't exist as people with conscious thought and emotion, but as Things and Tools that can Achieve Functions.
I noted way back in the start that Mesmer Jr is startlingly obedient. She does what she is told, and encourages others to do the same.
She's glad that Vertin:
Mesmer Jr, 100% Bond Conversation: ...Anyway, I'm glad you gave up on those insane plans.
Before saying that she doesn't want to be forced to Lobotomize Her, and that she doesn't actually want anyone to end up in Artificial Somnambulism.
But she doesn't say she won't do it. Just that she's happy Vertin did "give up" because it means that she probably won't have to. This seems to be her general approach. Even if she's not happy, she'll do it, her wants don't matter.
She assumes that she has no other option and that her only path forward is following orders from her boss. That the only path forward is the one set for her. There's no point in fighting it so she's just gonna continue on that path, and others should do the same or else they'll get Hurt. Learned Helplessness.
Sonetto is similar to her in this sense (Mesmer Jr says so herself,) and Sonetto is shown to hold quite a lot of repressed emotions, and to deviate from the rules or what is logical when she feels something is at stake.
After all: (Is ABA Really “Dog Training for Children”? A Professional Dog Trainer Weighs In.)
We all know that we can feel angry without expressing anger. That we can smile when inside we are crying. You can stop someone from expressing an emotion, but that doesn’t make the emotion go away. A dog who has been trained not to growl is considered by trainers to be a “time bomb dog.” When you read about a dog attack that came “out of nowhere” and “without warning,” it is because this sort of method was used to handle “problem behaviours.” Studies show that dogs trained with these sorts of methods actually have an increased rate of aggression, because punishing aggressive behaviour doesn’t deal with the underlying fear and anxiety that caused the aggression in the first place.
But Mesmer Jr, in contrast to Sonetto, who has an interest in poetry and curiosity in the outside world and has the aforementioned repressed emotions. Has no real distinct personal identity. She does not own anything that shows her interests, unlike her other coworkers who usually have at least Something on them. All of her items are stuff made by Laplace and exist unaltered. Even her cute little headband is a EM amplifier is part of the uniform.
She holds no control, no identity, no agency. She exists as a machine that someone can press the buttons of and achieve whatever function she needs to achieve at the given moment.
This is her current state of existence, and it's not something that's exactly sustainable. The cracks in this machine-living have been showing since she was 12. How many more do you think have been created now that she's 16?
The Foundation
Now, this is really depressing, but that's because Mesmer Jr is just a bit of a depressing character. She can't really get away from her job. For one, her parents are horrible, two The Storm means that the world is always on the verge of ending. Where else will she go?
But, as said previously:
A dog who has been trained not to growl is considered by trainers to be a “time bomb dog.”
Similarly, a girl trained to not develop any sort of identity will crack Someday.
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I have no knowledge of what could happen next in her story, nor am I interested in theorizing about it. But I do find it interesting to think about.
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neonfretra · 1 day
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does anyone want to discuss hrpf outside of shipping + written fic context . because i think about where what i do sits in relation to it all
for brevity i will be referring to the real person as the player and the fictionalized interpretation of the player as the character
to get things outta the way, i dont think theres very much you can say about real life people before you start crossin into real person fiction (rpf) territory LOL
transformative art is rpf. speculation is rpf. narratives is rpf. the second you start steppin away from a direct relay of the facts as is, we gettin in ficticious waters IMO. its really a neutral thing to me and my ethics begin and end at "dont show people who dont wanna see"
and its real funny to think about how i do art just because it feels like i set up way less barriers compared to people who DO write fic . i see all this talk about making sure you make your stuff login exclusive, about not sharin it to the people involved, disclaimers about how its in fact NOT a reflection of reality that your favorite athlete is mpregnant and YOU are are mfather.
and i just hit post and call it a day LOL
TO BE CLEAR there is definitely layers to it in the sense that i see similar amounts of caution with say ship art or certain degrees of raunch.
shipping in the rpf scene is funny to me in the sense of the tendency to treat shipping as THE exclusive rpf thing. like no i dont think my tomas tatar fanart is 1:1 on the reality front either. for example, nj devils hairline is not that far back and thags the only inaccuracy.
heres the kicker: mmy foot.
most of my doodles tend to evoke a degree of characterization or narrative. yeag maybe its a little less 30k slowburn and a little more fabian zetterlund shot putting a man but. that is fictional, that is a character
im not saying that rpf defines players more than the reality of them does but i do believe it does enforce certain views
in the spaces i hang around ive noticed the narrativization around certain characters being part fueled by the information that is filtered by reporters and part interpretations bounced back and forth by fandom . and when you have eyes on a story, its easy to pick out information solely as it agrees with you
maybe the most prominent narrative ive seen for the sharks has been macklin celebrini having a jock dad -> therefore he got daddy issues, joe thornton houses him -> therefore mentor and father figure joe thornton? where even though i havent seen any direct relay of information from any players (though ivent been looking LOL) a lot of the discussion around it revolves around this common understanding that it just is (the funnier part is arguably that will smith hockey has been doing more for this narrative for patrick marleau BUT NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.)
and its really interesting to note HOW fandom warps or weaves the story by going off common tropes or dynamics to make sense of the public facing parts we do see, which is what i think is magnified through the lens of fanworks but not (necessarily) CREATED by fanworks
which is where i feel my work is part of the. ecosystem??? life cycle??? and then we all return to the dirt and the worms eat us???
how much or how little we define the gap between player and character changes from person to person. i simply do not have that goin on here. devin cooley eats joey daccords hair take it or leave it. annnnd main tag that
other times i feel we wear the divide thin are when there is headcanon that uses facts about the player (ie a lot of ship talk) or when the character becomes the kneejerk understanding of the player (ie liveblogs. very fun way to get a read of a communitys feelings on something because of how immediate the reactions on it are)
the point of this post isnt to shame or interrogate people about participating in rpf, im not looking for those sort of feelings, im fascinated by fandom culture as a twig off the old branch and i would love to hear other perspectives on the same topic (and different communities! i dont have much involvement in fic. which is. a massive hole in my perspective on this probably)
is it possible to cross the line from rpf to plain old original content LOL (the answer is intent i know but. walk with me here its fun to think about)
naturally theres a degree of "original character" to every depiction . you gotta make up some amount of it. theres no clear separation OF rpf and original content because everything is about borrowing. you make characters with inspiration from other things. its near enough universal for someone who deals with characters to have at some point lifted a character directly out of their original context and made them their own.
its not just their face or name or some other physical attribute that makes it rpf id also argue because i have seen people using attributes of real people as "claims" for origubal characters (like a "faceclaim" to say "this is how i imagine my character to look")
on top of that there is fluctuating interest on actually depicting the player, with approaches that i have heard of ranging from "character that shares the quantitative aspects of the player and thats IT" to "character that was made heavily referencing to things the player has said/done"
its interesting when certain players in rpf have a consistent character! which trends to be in teams with a more active rpf oriented fanbase (vs interest mainly in the real life hockey played), comparing the fandom of kraken to the golden knights on tumblr for instance. its also interesting to note that more popular teams just have more rpf centric leans. because there are more people to write rpf. i mean also we are on a fandom centric site and rpf bridges that gap from narrative/character fueled media and sportsball more LOL
(if you like sports from a purely sports oriented angle do you enjoy watching it? genuine question. because at what point is it "i could just be doing this myself" because ive hit that point with other things before LMAO)
i do call the difference being more "fandom" oriented but IDK if thats correctly using the word or just less syllables. and on top of that i cant exactly tell you if its popularity or stand out personality that holds more sway. though then again i guess those two traits arent separate from each other necessarily. or even that those are the only two factors to broad appeal (probably popularity with another player is up there. but im not trying to find a formula for most attractive to make rpf of)
to return to the kraken because that is the most rpf oriented team i follow, i do notice when players portrayed consistently. i can definitely tell you like. one or two character traits about players i do not follow the media of solely from liveblogs and art. complexity of the character varies by a lot, though i do think its interesting to consider the hows and whys.
a trait or interest being highlighted by media (i tend to see this in offical media coverage that gets spread by jokes) -> the character heavily revolves around this feature in jokes or casual reference, with heavy personal interpretation
media pushing a narrative by following a more cohesive timeline or story structure (i usually see this in fanworks. easier to identify the influence of IMO) -> fairly consistent character backstory or , at least in the broad strokes of it
just general agreements about tropes that are appealing with little basis on the player -> this is usually the more relationship focused character interpretation
there isnt usually just one factor (and this isnt an exhaustive list of factors) to one characters history. unless its a super new player on the radar.
its definitely a character that belongs to the fandom! as in the unique character to the unique community! its actually really funny how they evolve. you could probably fingerprint someones influences if you tried hard enough. with how new the kraken is (and the fact the fandom leans more towards being united as one body than any other team ive seen so far) it does get pretty easy to get it down to the post but. do your own treasure search. I wont deprive you!
(also its EMBARASSING... what if the people i mention SEE... im SHY...)
harder with an older fandom like the sharks there are so many dead and defunct sources or jokes so widely spread that it gets hard to locate the origin . because dead and defunct sources. though i think its growing a new ring around the fandom tree because of the newer players! so its a thought. to think about how different events influence the size and activity of a fanbase and to ask how different fans from different. eras? of a fanbase interact (or dont).
again i notice this in the sharks fandoms by comparing fans from the playoff contending sharks era (last playoff season was 18-19? start is a little murky but ill toss out that 2012 was the year tomas hertl was drafted because tomas hertl was an era of the sharks LOL a whole 12 years! i know people younger than his professional career and those people are catching up to me in height. humbling!) and fans from when the sharks were very much not playoff contending (quite an amount of the current active fans LOL). not sure if theres much to say without looking stupid. different jokes, notable players, friend groups, feelings towards other teams. all still feel very strongly about general manager mike grier scattering players like dandellion seeds to the wind.
(AGAIN. HOPING NO SHARKS FANS NOTICE THIS. IM SHY)
how many sharks fans havent seen logan couture on ice
again i am saying all this as someone who ACTIVELY participates in this BTW!!! does anyone notice that players i dont know definitely have a flatter "whatever is the funniest thing to say" angle . or that characters of players i know a few things about have like one punchline . or even that certain characters are consistent and not just bound by direct interpretations of one moment (which i do a lot of when im liveblogging) (dont get your hopes up for anything new here, the character usually is "pathetic and a little bit of a bastard")
i keep writing these disclaimers like. if someone disagreed this strongly they would not be reading this far. hi! is anyone still here. is someone still reading.
i have created life and i dont know to kill it.
i talk about one of my depictions of a player as a separate character (that is to say, a SEPARATE character from the character intended to represent the player) and i have NO idea if this is like. an OC? a defamation case in waiting? my spawn? do i have to pay childcare. does anyone know who or what im talking about or has the character been festering in my mind like an infection.
is it just me???
my advice to you: if you dont want somethin to come back dont give it a name.
consider dissecting your personal and the more widespread fandoms take on players and characters! its fun for me but i also just like taking things apart ^_^ i fear i may not be as analytical as this post demands i do a lot of restating information and thats it
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coyotelip · 2 days
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thanks to lovely @jeguluses for tagging me!♡
Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ♡
okay then!
☆ 1. betaverse (WIP)
my piece for jegulus kinktober! it's partly written, but I'm one of those authors who fall in love with their current wips!
it's beta!regulus/alpha!james, I was a little overwhelmed by traditional omegaverse, so I decided to do it more about betas 👀
posting will be on Oct.3 and Oct.8, stay tuned!
(aaaand I already have an idea for wolfstar spin-off, which would contain more plot and traumas!)
☆ 2. karma is a bitch
look, I'm just a girl, I love smut, reading AND writing, so!
my remus/james/regulus agenda! also my first time writing threesome, and I think it was good. I some kind of fall in love with remus/james dynamic here and want to do more of them after that.
☆ 3. growing up together
fluffy domestic wolfstar parenting harry!
this is my comfort collection of microfics, I'm just having fun here, creating some family-friendly content. it's work in progress, but you can read each chapter separately, there's no such thing as one big plot.
☆ 4. I look in people's windows
aaaand here comes the angst. my canon divergence fic about regulus, who loses his memory in the cave. now it's only one part, but I am planning to write more.
jegulus with trust issues, platonic regulily, maybe pandalily mentioned a little. black brothers angst. yep, it's what I'm planning.
☆ 5. ???
well, now it's hard to choose something more, I don't have that much works...
you can check my ao3! or my microfics, I have plenty of them and love them dearly ♡
want to tag someone, but it seems like everyone already did that tag. so, if you're not and want to, consider I'm tagging you!
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vitrines · 1 year
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i love Situations. and Times. and the likes
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umbrify · 1 year
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realizing it is probably better to Use The Askbox For Its Intended Purpose than to attempt conversation in tags ^^; anyway. YEAH I WOULD LOVE FWHIP THOUGHTS. MY LITTLE GUY. MY DUDE. I LOVE HE. fwhip's throughline IS SO VERY MUCH AVOIDANCE YOU'RE SO RIGHT (haven't seen scott s1 so can't comment on that yet). feel free to elaborate on any of [fwhip's avoidance, the thing about fwhip instinctually shooting sausage, fwhip's relationship to the rest of the WRA]! (also, 13:05 - 13:12 on the twelfth episode in fwhip's e1 playlist, "MAKING PEACE and NEW SKIN!", has the moment with the bow, if you're curious)
Ooh yes, okay. I’m gonna go into Empires season one fWhip and the Wither Rose Alliance, how fWhip handled the rise of Xornoth and the proceeding corruption of Sausage, as well as Sausage’s curing, and the reconciliation of the WRA. Basically, I’m gonna talk about why I love the WRA so much, as well as highlighting some really interesting character moments for fWhip, and his overarching theme of avoidance. Welcome to my Ted Talk.
(If you’ve only ever heard about empires season one through osmosis, or never watched any of the Wither Rose Alliance POVs— fWhip, Gem, or Sausage, this might be a good way to kinda figure out what their deal is. I ended up explaining a lot of context for things, for the sake of saying what I wanted to say, so I feel like it’ll be comprehensive even if you don’t have much prior knowledge of season one.)
At the start of the season, fWhip and Sausage got pretty close pretty quickly. They were partners in crime, if you will, each often helping each other out with various schemes and pranks, such as fWhip helping Sausage get back at Pix for stealing Sausage’s villagers, [fWhip e9, 7:18], even before the proper foundation of the WRA [fWhip e10, 17:25]. Which is to say, they were very close, even before everything went down. After fWhip steals the Codfather head— which he seems to be happy to deflect partial blame onto Gem for, trying to avoid any accountability— the WRA together gear up to create a sort of trap vault, to secure the Codfather head.
The tentative rise of Xornoth began before the vault was constructed, with fWhip having an encounter with the demon happening just before the vault plans were solidified, in his episode 17. In that episode, he makes a log of things he knows about the demon, including a list of things the demon seems to like, which includes two notable entries— “I think [the demon] likes MythicalSausage? And, they really like the idea of the dragon being killed […] they really dislike the dragon. I think their goals are […] the death of the ender dragon, it really keeps coming back to that, and they keep saying, if we kill the ender dragon, they’re gonna be free” [12:43].
This, combined with the need to create a secret vault, would ultimately result in the items being hidden in the End. fWhip, tasked with finding the location of the vault, decides on hiding the items this way, saying “With everything, especially the demon being so scared? Of the dragon? I feel like leaving the Codfather’s head with the dragon, as like a final form of defense, might not be a bad idea. Because, then Jimmy will never be able to get it. He’ll never be able to get it. Nobody’s gonna be able to take out the dragon” [17:21]. He presumes that everything will be safe with the dragon, that nobody will be able to take it down.
Meanwhile, Sausage seems to have almost made friends with the demon. When fWhip visits him to bring him some firearms, he says “Xornoth is uh, is planning some things, it’s great! […] For the demon! For armageddon!!” [fWhip e17, 30:20]. fWhip becomes, understandably, somewhat nervous, yet even here he still seems to… deflect. He laughs, nervously, telling them to have fun, before heading home. fWhip flies off, saying “What a weird guy— people say I’m the evil one. Quite worried about him.” fWhip sees that something is… definitely wrong, with Sausage, and yet he still can’t bring himself to properly have that confrontation. He’s avoiding it, maybe just hoping that things will turn out alright.
Another moment right in this era that I think about often, that I’m not sure where else to put, is the moment where Sausage and Gem have a brief stand down, when Gem says that she’s the most powerful wizard on the server, to which Sausage bites back that she only is for now [fWhip e18, 32:40]. This happens right around when Sausage was starting to get corrupted, and Xornoth promised him great magical power— power that Gem had said he would never have. And I think often about this moment, in the context of the WRA as siblings, right— you’re fWhip, and you’re standing there as your younger brother and older sister are doing the magical equivalent of holding guns to each other’s heads, and just… how do you react? What do you even do? He’s not sure, which leads to that horribly nervous little song he sings, and it’s just… god. It’s so much. Caught in the middle of all the things he’s been trying to look away from, unable to do anything as the two most important people in his life are a hair away from taking each other out.
Finishing up the final preparations on the WRA vault, fWhip expands on his reasoning to hide the Codfather head in the End: “Right now, the only way out of the End is either by killing the dragon, or by jumping into the void […] there’s a little bit of a demon, on the server right now, who keeps trying to tell people to kill the dragon to unleash it upon the world. And, there’s one thing I’m pretty confident in: Jimmy does not want to free Xornoth. And, well, at this point, neither do I. So, if I put the cod head in there, I think Jimmy’s gonna find an ultimatum where he’s like, hm, nope, I can’t get it back. Or, if he does, and he wants to bring it to the overworld, he has to unleash the most evil thing, on this entire server, into the open. So, uh, hopefully he doesn’t do that. I think he’s smart enough” [fWhip e19 9:43]. He tells Gem about the plan later in that same episode, to which she agrees that it seems like a good plan. The idea is foolproof. Surely, Jimmy won’t risk the entire server’s safety, all for the cod head, right? It feels reasonable enough to assume that Jimmy wouldn’t willingly doom the world by releasing the demon, and that’s something that he banks on— it’s the perfect way to get rid of the Codfather head, in a way that Jimmy can never get it back. Surely, nobody would be so foolish. Problem successfully solved!
Right?
Wrong. But… it wasn’t just Jimmy.
The collapse of the Wither Rose Alliance, in fWhip’s episode 20 [4:10 - 7:28], is what finally forces fWhip to really face what Sausage has become. Xornoth demands a sacrifice to allow the WRA to escape the Nether, and Sausage, imbued with the power of Xornoth, takes Gem out quickly. As fWhip is left alone to face an invincible Sausage, Gem pleads with Xornoth: “I was sacrificed! You have to let fWhip out!” Of course, it’s to no avail, and fWhip is forcefully dragged out of hiding to face Sausage once more, being taken down. fWhip and Gem reconvene in Mythland, where fWhip hides Sausage’s dog Bubbles in the ground. Sausage returns, demanding to know where Bubbles is.
This moment, right here, is one I find very chilling. fWhip, a character who so often avoids direct serious conflict, one who worries for people on the sidelines, takes his stand. While Gem demands their stuff back, he says “I told you, [Bubbles is] gone until you get rid of the demon.” He knows this isn’t good, that Sausage is making a mistake siding with Xornoth. He tries the last ditch effort he can think of to get his little brother to snap out of Xornoth’s control.
It’s not enough. Sausage begrudgingly returns their things, and as the two sort through their jumbled items, Gem mutters that they can’t be allies anymore, after this. fWhip agrees, with a haunting certainty, “Sausage, you chose a side… you chose a side. […] We tried to save us all, you chose.” The two stand on the bridge in Mythland, opposite Sausage, and fWhip says it seems like their endeavor that day may have been their last, as an alliance. Sausage shouts for them to leave, and as they take off, Sausage swings, hitting fWhip.
Gem and fWhip fly off, without Sausage. As they make their way back to their lands, fWhip says, in a shaking voice, “Gem, it’s back to just you and me here,” to which Gem assures that they’ll be fine, that they’ll stand up for each other. He quickly accepts her words, saying “Yeah, it’s— it’s all good, it’s all good… it’s all good. He— he took the powers of the demon to kill us, there, that is— that is one too— one too far. That is— it’s one too far.” He’s afraid, having just firmly ousted one of his oldest allies— his own brother— from his oldest alliance, despite knowing that it was the only thing he could’ve possibly done. There was no other option… and yet, he barely gives himself a single sentence to essentially mourn that loss, before he’s trying to pave back on the mask of indifference— look away, avoid, avoid— it’s fine, he says, it’s all good, as if he didn’t just have to do the hardest thing he’s ever done in his life.
But it’s not over yet. Not even close.
(Continued under the cut. This got Really Long)
In that very same episode, a meeting is held [16:30 - 18:03] where fWhip and Gem happily tell the others about how they hid the Codfather head in the end. Everyone else is, of course, terrified. Scott tells them that Jimmy’s just gonna kill the dragon to escape, and that if Xornoth is released, it’ll bring about an eternal winter. Gem and fWhip, realizing they’ve messed up, devise a plan to prevent the Cod Alliance from killing the dragon— they need to heal it, keep it alive at all costs. Gem insists to everyone that they have to be a team, that even though they’ve messed up, that they can fix it.
It’s now or never. They head into the End.
[End scene from 19:20 - 22:57] fWhip immediately flies around to the main island, before stepping down onto the bridge in front of Jimmy. He begs, pleads for them not to do this. “Jimmy— Jimmy, I’m sorry. Jimmy— Jimmy— I’m sorry, Jimmy, we need to not kill the dragon here.” Jimmy demands the Codfather head, and fWhip immediately agrees to return it, reiterating that they must not kill the dragon. It’s this— this moment of being immediately and forcefully thrust into the face of the problem he caused, the problem he’d been trying to avoid, by hiding the Codfather head away in a place where he was sure that Jimmy would never dare to go. It’s this moment of fWhip pleading with Jimmy, to please, please not do this— they’ve lost so much to this demon, they can’t let this happen. He can’t let the demon be freed because of his mistake, he’ll do anything to prevent it from happening. The absolute, terrified resolve of a man faced with a problem he can no longer run from.
Jimmy says he’s gonna kill the dragon, barging past fWhip, up the main island. Chaos breaks out, and fWhip leads Jimmy down, beneath the portal frame. Jimmy says it better not be a trick, and he assures it isn’t, voice panicked. He returns the head, and begs them not to do this, in a soft, shaking voice, “We gotta keep the dragon alive, don’t— don’t let— don’t let Sausage kill it, don’t… […] Chaos, chaos is coming, we can’t— we can’t let the dragon die.” The fear, and absolute certainty… he can’t let this happen. Can’t let his mistake ruin the world.
Jimmy, uncertainly, says “fWhip, I think, whether you like it or not, this dragon is dying.”
fWhip desperately attempts to prevent the dragon’s death, to no avail. Chaos, as the two sides wage war in the end, with Jimmy caught conflicted in the middle. Sausage and Joey, corrupted by Xornoth, cheer for the carnage.
From the moment the Codfather head was stolen— perhaps even from the moment Jimmy started a confrontation with Sausage at all, all that time ago— it was too late. Xornoth would be released.
In a single episode, fWhip’s entire world is turned upside down. The WRA is shattered, the world is fast approaching an eternal corruption, and… he doesn’t know what to do. Gem says they can fix it, that she has the dragon egg, but… what else can he do but to just… shut down. He turns away from it— from Sausage, from Xornoth, from everything. He avoids it all— doubles down on the construction of his city, Eastvale, resolutely looking away from everything else.
With Xornoth freed, and Sausage well and truly corrupted, fWhip becomes extremely cold towards Sausage, to the point of being openly defensively hostile. The brother that he knew… that isn’t Sausage, anymore. One of the best examples of this can be seen in Sausage’s episode 32, 12:54, where Sausage and Pearl go to invite fWhip to their arena. fWhip answers the knock on his gate with a drawn bow, immediately and coldly asking what they want with him, even as Sausage still greets him as a friend. While fWhip is willing to speak to Pearl, he refuses to even entertain the idea that Sausage isn’t here to hurt him, shooting him a few times throughout the conversation, to the point where Sausage is sent away from the gate so that Pearl can speak to fWhip alone.
And… god, isn’t that just so much? You’re fWhip, and whatever thing is possessing the person in front of you, he isn’t your brother anymore. He’s not your friend anymore. He’s not safe, and you’re not safe with him here, even though… he used to be one of the safest people for you to be with. Not anymore. That’s not him, anymore.
And, it’s not unwarranted, with Sausage later saying to Pearl “I try my best around him, but sometimes I just wanna choke him out, Pearl” [15:24]. Yet… Sausage still greets fWhip as a friend, at first. Still tries to talk to him, insists that he’s “not evil today,” and… well, Sausage really did still care very much about the WRA, even while corrupted.
In Sausage’s episode 33, he opens by reading his last will and testament, knowing that soon enough he’ll be taken by the corruption. Within his will, he writes out things that he wants the other emperors to have, should he not return: “To fWhip, you can keep all my deepslate redstone ores… I don’t know what you want them for, they’re kind of useless to me, but… I kept a lot, […] Gem, you can have my great staff of Mythland. Uh… in your hands, it’ll probably be very effective. And to the Wither Rose Alliance, you can have access to my iron farm still” [1:07]. He still thought about them… still cared about them. The fact that Sausage kept collecting deepslate redstone— something that fWhip loves and cares for very much, for the sole purpose of giving it to him, even though they were on such horrible terms… I think about that. He loved them, even still. Even through the corruption, he loved them.
Gem never turns her back on Sausage in quite the same way fWhip does. It was she who cured him, in the end— killing him, at his own request, voice corrupted as he struggled against the influence of Xornoth. She finds him in Mythland, after he’s free from the corruption, and asks if he’s okay, saying she’s so glad to have him back again. He shakily asks her if he can be back in the alliance again, now that he’s cured, and Gem says “We’ll have to talk to fWhip about it, how about for now, you just… heal up over here” [Sausage e33, 33:25].
Gem knows that she forgives Sausage, that it wasn’t his fault. But… she also knows fWhip, and she knows it won’t be so easy for him, that it’ll take time. It has to be his own choice, in the end, to forgive Sausage for everything he put them all through.
Gem brings fWhip around to see Sausage, now that he’s uncorrupted. [Sausage e34, 24:00 - 34:25]. Once fWhip realizes that Sausage is there, he draws his bow, asking coldly why they’re here. Sausage asks what’s going on, and Gem says she’s brought him fWhip. Sausage is immediately distracted by Gem’s wizard hat, and fWhip happily jumps on the bandwagon of teasing Gem. Gem tells fWhip that Sausage is cured, and while fWhip is skeptical at first, having to kill Sausage himself to make sure he’s no longer unkillable, the three seem to fall back into their old patterns. Gem sends the two running into the river, lightheartedly chasing them with her sword, and as they both climb out giggling, she says “I missed this.”
This scene, this moment of the WRA, finally back together again after so long, it’s so… god. They’ve been apart for so long, they haven’t been able to hang out and laugh with each other, and this is the first time in so, so long, that Sausage has been able to hear that light in fWhip’s voice again— that he’s been able to speak to fWhip on any terms that aren’t cold and callous and unloving. They have each other again, they have their family back, unsteady as it is.
Sausage asks if he’s back in the alliance, and Gem says it’s up to fWhip. He seems… uncertain, but says that Sausage can be tentatively back— like he’s still nervous, still feels like something could go wrong. The three of them agree that Sausage owes them both three favors, and then he’ll be back in the alliance for real.
In Sausage’s episode 35, fWhip cashes in his first favor [9:30 - 10:17]. He asks Sausage to come by to help him with something, and as Sausage flies in, fWhip immediately shoots him with a flaming arrow. Sausage flies away, circling around before making his way back to land near fWhip. fWhip greets him with that old harsh coldness, a curt “Hi, can I help you,” how fWhip used to speak to Sausage, while he was corrupted. Sausage says he didn’t come to fight, that he’s good now, and fWhip lets out a slightly nervous laugh, saying “oh, right, right… sorry, sorry, I’m still just a little… it’s gonna take a while, it’s gonna take a while— you can’t just expect me to like— just like, forget, instantly, right? It was just— you know,” fWhip trails off, and Sausage says that fWhip hit him in the face, to which fWhip laughs, slightly, before restating his initial greeting in a much more friendly tone.
And it’s just… god. Isn’t that so much? Isn’t that So Much? Like, you’re fWhip, and you see your own little brother coming, and your immediate instinct is that you have to protect yourself. That you aren’t safe, that he’s gonna hurt you, prepare to fight back— god. Could you imagine what it must be like to be feeling that way? To be trying to reconcile the feelings so ingrained in you now, with the person now before you? He’s trying— he’s trying so hard to let Sausage back in. But… it’s not that easy.
I think this essay has definitely gotten long enough, but I do wanna leave off with one final moment. In Sausage’s episode 41 [11:25 - 14:22], fWhip finally feels able to fully accept Sausage back into the alliance. He tells them that he wants to make them all a new meeting room. The three end up falling back into their old antics, playfully attacking each other, and Sausage ends up getting killed. fWhip picks up a bunch of his things, including a splash potion of invisibility that he had. fWhip cheekily says he’ll keep the potion, and Sausage asks for it back, to which fWhip starts to walk off to where he wanted to show them anyway. Gem follows, and in a disapproving tone, says “fWhip, give him his things.” fWhip turns around, says “Okay, here you go,” and splashes the invis on them all, to which Sausage indignantly says “I can’t believe this!” fWhip immediately starts laughing, with Gem giggling as well, and both fWhip and Sausage quickly realize how silly Gem looks while invisible, with her massive hat floating in the air.
I point out this moment because it really encapsulates why I love the WRA so much. They’re such a chaotic bunch— acting like three siblings who love to tease each other, who get into fights and have falling outs and still, in the end, they make up again. They find each other again. They never stop caring about each other, even through everything. It’s a really sweet little moment— the WRA, finally, truly whole again.
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fionnaskyborn · 10 months
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there's something to be said about the very specific feeling of frailty you feel when you come face to face with just how little you've experienced. twenty-odd years on planet earth and you haven't really watched all that many movies. an unlived life facing an uncertain future. i do not know where to point the finger of blame because i live untethered from my past, floating in the present with no clear point of reference no clear definition of who i am or what happened to me and how i turned out the way i am (fucking. can you guess why five is my favorite game. insert that one lyric from that one modest mouse song.) but you're still here, and you can still learn, and you can catch up, but it still feels like you're a pitiful little nobody looking for excuses trying to explain why you're still new to the whole being alive thing. i've got a good head on my shoulders, though, for all that's worth, so i think i might be fine.
in other news, i watched scarface tonight. it was certainly a movie. don't really understand how the movie made it big, but it did have some damn good music. i mean, i don't know. i'm still learning about the world i live in. maybe it really is as much of a masterpiece as people make it out to be and i'm too dumb to see the reason why it's considered a classic. maybe i'm right. i can't tell at the moment. it's kind of a beggars can't be choosers situation - if you ain't watched that many movies, then you can't really be a good judge of quality. but, oh, well. it's one more movie watched. it's a win because i watched a movie. and i'll watch more movies.
#i mean this extends to things like world politics also i'm still learning and i'm eager to learn beyond what i am offered but that doesn't#make the process any less fucking terrifying. like sure fuck yeah i'll be a big shot and do it alone and i'll be proud of myself but the#thing is i really really really don't know how to be alone without feeling empty#and it's funny because the thing i yearn for the most is to be free and to create myself and do things on my own and i can do that i've#learned how to be an adult very early on and people say ah you've yet to face the worst but every time they tell me that i tell them i can't#wait#but at the same time sometimes i sit and i wonder why i haven't watched that many movies. was there nobody to watch them with? could i have#asked? could things have been different? is it my fault for never having really wanted things or somebody else's? and i'll never really have#a clear answer to any of those questions or at least not anytime soon because my cranium is messed up and unreliable but i won't get the#answers anywhere else. shrugs. i've yet to start living a life. i don't know when i died but i do know but maybe that's just an idea and#maybe i've been dead all along until some point in the past two years but then what are all those memories i have where did they come from#why are they so far apart why do they feel mine and foreign at the same time. can you guess who my favorite mg character is.#well okay i have like what four or five of those but read the text again and think really really hard about it. i'm just kidding i'm goofing#around at this point. i mean no not really but i am smiling about it. :]#logs
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thedeadthree · 1 year
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-`. i need to be more unhinged about her so here is yana in this picrew. 🥀🌸<3💀
#oc: anasyana an enaviryn#leg.ocs#t: picrews#*holda her up* hiiiiiii my murderous murder muffin <3#she’s a star elf! she’s an archfey warlock (tasha is her patron! she’s bhaals daughter! my dark urge! in love with one archduke !!!!)#fathers favorite daughter !!!!!!!!#i havent been as unhinged about her here so i bring her in this pic few i found while looking for pictures to intro my bg clowns 🌸💕#ye olde creative brain has been making clowns and her aesthetics i need to make EDITS of dearie i need to teach myself how to make gifs !!!!#I WANT TO MAKE PRETTY GIFS FOR YANA !!!!! (and learn how to mod for the yanagortash brainworms 🥀🥴 *giggles*)#what do you mean there’s blood on her it’s just strawberry syrup 🥀😌✨🍓#her house wished for a savior to see the return to their world that was lost to them and they got murder muffin 🌸💕✨😵‍💫🤭#(also sliiiightly unrelated bc the archduke has the braincell i plan to ship him as well with a few other nondurge clowns <3)#(i will offer lore soon but i love castellan and vaermina having ships with him !!!!!! yanagortash you’ll always have my heart but they’re!)#aaaaanyway y’all are welcome to send asks of my baby girlie i will never not want to talk till the cows come home about her 🌸🥀✨😖 MY BABY!!!!#she’s not evil she’s never done a wrong thing in her life <3#if yana and una were in the same verse they would be the best of friends i can feel it !!!!!!#she also has a thing with a*starion who i think’ll be ascended in her playthrough? they both should be allowed to be unhinged i think!#sarspira will get vampire pookie un ascended and will resist her urge <3#OH and she is not the one in my icon that is my sweet girl tissaia <3 i am so so stoked to intro her as well!!!!!!#reading word on the street that the d*urge was created purely by b*haal adds a whole new LAYER to her house wishing for a child of#destiny to save their world they lost bc RAHH at the thought he though OO here’s my opportunity + then created her + they got their ‘savior’#i think i read its in a note you find AND I HAVE TO FIND THAT NOTE 🥀😵‍💫✨ !!!!!!#like from his own viscera?? INCH RESTING for the lore for yana and what was meant for her VEERY#q#q: from the drafts
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whalehouse1 · 5 months
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When you get to the point where ppl start quoting certain writers and saying since they said something, the fanbase has to agree with them or else they’re a fake fan and your first instinct is just to block them you realize a few things: 1) you wish it wasn’t almost midnight so you can touch some grass, 2) you wish it wasn’t raining for the same reason, 3) block them. Who’s it going to hurt, it’s basically gatekeeping and obnoxious when you have hundreds of writers for some ppl. And especially if they don’t tag the crap.
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You want to manifest your dream life?
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I gotcha! This post is right here to make you stop over-consuming content about LOA and finally be able to manifest your dream reality!
Decide:
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Okay, so you first need to decide what you want to manifest.
You want to live in a penthouse and in a Big mansion with your family or sp? you Can! You want to wake up in a magical world you created Guess what? Yes, you Can!
Do you want to wake up with your desired appearance from head to toe? Yes, you Can. And when I say you Can that means you're fucking limitless don't let anybody limit you, 'cause you’re the creator of your own reality, not theirs but yours, and you create the rules here!
throw logic out the window! cause it won’t get you anywhere if you still ask “if i can manifest that and that..”
Okay, so when you decide what you want to manifest you might wonder what will you do next?
Well, it's simple really. just decide that you already have it.
But how?
By simply deciding that you already have your desires/dream life in your 4D/imagination.
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using methods:
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Now you might need to use methods and by methods that means techniques that will help you achieve your desires and that make you fulfilled, you Can Also create your own method that suits you well.
Note: you don't need to do a certain method that everyone uses and that doesn’t resonate with you.
You Can click here and here you will find all the methods that were used in the LOA community.
my favorite: affirming and this method (click here!).
Then when you start affirming for your Desires or use methods to manifest your Desires you might encounter some issues with the 3d.
Things start going the opposite and you’ll start giving up and doubting yourself and the law.
And that when it comes to the important thing to do and it is called persisting.
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Persist:
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when you see things start going up the opposite way (in the 3d) and that is when you need to do your job by persisting in the idea of already having your desires in the 4d, by being consistent and stubborn in your assumption.
that it! easy right?
you might have some questions about all of this and how to react in certain situations with the 3d I advice you to read these posts and documents:
This one , this , this , this , this one, this, this.
and lastly, stop it like really stop consuming info and not applying the law, you can stay on this app but just don’t be obsessively always here, always waiting for a new post to make you realize what method or technique or what it is will make you manifest your desires.
remember the key is self, and yes you, the reader who is reading my post, you have such infinite power inside you that could change your whole world 360 degree.
remember to trust yourself and to have faith in the unseen, you can do it I have my trust in you, and always remember that some people were in extremely difficult circumstances and they did what? yes succeed, by having faith in the unseen and persisting in their imagination and now they’re living their best life.
be gentle with yourself, take care of yourself, and prioritize your mental health.
Summary:
: ̗̀➛ decide what you want to manifest.
: ̗̀➛ affirm (or use any methods).
: ̗̀➛persist.
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chao chao!
xoxo, Eli.
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inkskinned · 2 years
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"the curtains weren't blue on purpose. why should we care?"
my love! let me ask you this - did you eat breakfast today? this tiny moment in your life. just think about it. did you?
for some of you, the answer is yes and for some of you it is technically and for some of you it is does coffee count. some of you reached for cereal or gmo-free overnight oats or frozen waffles or 3-day-old pizza. sometimes we eat the same thing, every day, for weeks. i get tired of eggs randomly, only to go back to craving them desperately. i'm cuban; i take my coffee like my father showed me, very milky and sweet.
some of us ate in a hurry. some of us hate eating breakfast but if we don't we will get nauseous later. some of us took our meds first or took our meds after. some of us have a kitchen 5 feet wide and sometimes it's the biggest room in the house. some of us are confident there will be food in the pantry and some of us flinch and say well, the paycheck is coming. some of us turn on a podcast while we eat or we scroll our phones or write in our diaries.
some of us are choosing, specifically, not to eat breakfast. some of us are too busy. some of us are pretending we "just forgot," but we are ignoring the warning signs that everything feels too-heavy. some of us are so consumed with anxiety or grief that we can't eat. some of us can't stand up long enough to make our coffee. some of us have no table to sit down and eat.
i cannot tell you what an artist "meant" by their choices. but they did have to make a choice, conscious or otherwise, to give you information. to give you a little bit more light. each of these choices are little stars of data; connecting speckles for you to weave through, drawing a line.
you cannot use a mirror in a dark room. for some of us; we will not care that the curtains are blue, because that will just be a data point and not enough light to see by. for some of us, the blue curtains will be the same as our childhood bedroom. it will make us seasick. for some of us, blue will be the color of frostbite. it might look like a pixel up close; but from a distance, oh! the picture blooms.
i cannot tell you what will stick out for you. what will carry meaning. some of you will read the sentence "i didn't have breakfast today" and say "this means nothing." some of you will read that and say "oh, me neither." some of you will say "this means the character is probably a little grouchy." some of you will say "oh, i wonder if they're okay. why didn't they eat anything?" ... art is a mirror. i am holding hands with you, over space and time, and asking you to feel something with me.
i want you to read my work and find a blue pair of curtains. i want you to read my work and find things in it that i never imagined placing. i have no way of knowing what will resonate with you, that's true. and maybe i just was hungry while i wrote this, and thinking about the eggs in my fridge. but if you found meaning, that meaning is yours. it cannot be erased just because i didn't "intend" it. you created a different world by interpreting my work. it's collaborative! that's beautiful! that's stunning!
just! imagine looking at the night sky and saying - it's stupid to have a favorite constellation or a favorite star. they're just there.
because here's the thing - across centuries and cultures, we look up. we still find meaning in the stars. these beautiful, lovely scattered accidents. are you looking? they call. and we look back and say oh! of course we are!
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art · 4 months
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Creator Spotlight: @themetalhiro
Hi, I’m Metal! I’m a freelance artist from good ol’ New Jersey. My favorite things to work with are a lot of bright colors, exaggerated poses, and candid scenarios. I try to farm sensible chuckles whenever I can, so I’m also big into comics. I love making them about my life, and the media I’m into, and one day I’d like to publish my own series!  Thank you to everyone who has gotten me this far!!
Check out Metal's interview below!
Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?
I guess so! It’s funny, I don’t remember a single time in my life that I wasn’t drawing as a hobby… somewhere in middle school (a little late, I know.) I put the pieces together that animated movies were made by artists, and that it wasn’t just for fun, they were paid to do it. The moment I discovered people could be paid to make art, I decided I would do that, too. Now I’m here!
How has your style developed over the years?
I think the best way to answer this would be with an example! Over the last few years, I have made more of an effort to draw more intentionally, which sounds silly. Now, I put more thought into my poses and step out of my comfort zone with shape language and composition. I had a phase where I drew everyone with a huge, perfectly circular head and no nose. That definitely did not lend much variety...
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Which 3 famous artists (dead or alive) would you invite to your dinner party?
Ack! I’m so terrible at history! I’d love to give a well-thought-out answer about fine artists of old, but I don't think we’d have much in common… Most artists I admire and who have driven me forward creatively are the people behind comics I’ve read. Andrew Hussie, Bryan Lee O’Malley, Eiichiro Oda... these guys have inspired me greatly and had a heavy influence in developing my art style and sense of humor. I’d love to ask them questions about their processes and upcoming projects. I think it would make for an entertaining night!
Over the years as an artist, what were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?
Outside of pure aesthetics like searing bright colors, layered clothing, and loud noises…. the best and most inspiring moments in my life were those surrounded by friends and loved ones! I cherish the hell out of memories of hanging around in fun locations, trying weird food together, and impromptu midnight walks... so I try my best to capture that atmosphere and my own memories in my work when I can, even if I’m imposing fictional characters on top of them. That’s always the core of it.
What is a medium that you have always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?
I would never permanently refuse a medium, but every time I pick up clay, I’m like a baby using its hands for the first time. Absolutely dreadful. If one day I could make and paint a figurine like the ones I admire in videos, that would be awesome... But for now, I’m not counting on it.
How do you want to evolve as a creator?
I’ve had an absolute blast drawing fanart over the years, and it’s certainly played a massive role in my growth as an artist. But my dream has always been to publish my own stories for y'all to enjoy! I have lots of worlds I want to introduce to you before I’m old and gray. I want to get faster, work harder, and get better at drawing interesting settings so I can get the wheels turning as soon as possible. I also want to stop avoiding the color blue like a coward.
What do you wish you knew when you first started out creating art that you know now?
Pay your taxes quarterly. Tablets will break at the exact moment you need them most, so have a spare. Wear your blue light glasses. You’re going to need to wear a brace on every joint on the right side of your body. It can be lonely sitting at your desk all day. The car on the side of the road that costs $1000 cash….. don’t trust it!!!
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Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?
@cranity—They use absolutely beautiful colors and weighty line work. Everything looks so sharp and clean! I wanna put it all up on my wall!
@vewn—Their ability to crank out quality short films and illustrations packed with detail is incredible. The off-kilter perspective they use really sells disorientation and catches your attention like nothing else.
@nelnal—They have absolutely banger character designs again and again, I can’t believe one person’s mind can come up with so many creative ideas!
@jinx88kc—They have a beautiful and recognizable style, and the way they incorporate animation into their illustrations sometimes is SO cool!
Thanks for stopping by, Metal! For more of Metal’s work, follow their Tumblr, @themetalhiro! If you haven't seen their Meet the Artist piece, be sure to check it out here!
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autffiy · 3 months
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Hi hello hey! i want to give you guys some motivation to manifest your dream life!
Yes, you heard me right. It is possible even overnight. I used to think it was impossible to get anything i want, like it never made sense to me. Even after reading multiple posts and tweets and watch every loa video you can possibly think of. I applied the law, i affirmed for days and days, but nothing changed. Why Alli? you must think. Because i affirmed and did every technique i could find, but i never actually applied. If it wouldn’t show i would always be bitching why it didn’t show up or why everybody could get it and not me.
But then… Then i found out that the 3D actually didn’t mean shit. I could be miserable all i want and still get my desires by just thinking in my favor and actually persisting in it. No more looking in the 3d, no more bitching about things i didn’t have. No, actually thinking like i have it all right now. Because guess what? IT IS POSSIBLE. Your imagination creates reality. Be delusional, think like you’re that bitch. Get. your. shit. No more wavering, be disciplined. Trust in yourself, because you create your reality!
Here are some of my favorite things i manifested:
-My desired appearance and overcoming bodydismorphia and actually falling in love with myself
-A shit load of money [yes you can do it, money is just paper. Its easy]
-My psoriasis clearing up overnight.
-Getting my diploma without doing much for it.
AND YOU CAN DO IT TO! believe in yourself, you’re allowed to be the best version of yourself and get everything you want.
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jeremy-pakhitou · 11 months
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I love Crocodile x Dragon because it only makes sense to a very few crazy people ///
Keep reading for my head canons/storyline (spoilers Headegg)
I'm rolling with a transmasc Crocodile headcanon who was part of the revolutionaries (or what precedes it) and he ended up leaving after loosing his hand in a conflict that could have been avoided. He wants to overthrow the World Government but he thinks Dragon is too soft and slow and that's why he'll try to take over Alabasta and create Cross Guild later on. He still very much wants to destroy the government but he wants to be a pirate not a revolutionary. He's also Luffy's second dad hehe
He met Dragon in his early twenties. They had a pretty big age gap but when it comes to power imbalance Dragon was not winning. Crocodile was savage and ready to shoot a bullet between your eyes if you annoyed him whereas Dragon was bad at communicating and a bit creepy at first when he was just a big softie with great goals and ideals. He was also really chill with queer people as some of his best friends are Queen Emporio Ivankov and my favorite transfem egg : Vegapunk ! (but that's a theory for another time krkr)
In the end Crocodile became attached to this big idealist with a pretty pleasant personality while Dragon was fascinated by the cold and intense Crocodile. But their relation didn't last very long and Crocodile was fed up with the revolutionary army and took his leave. They both didn't really have another relationship after and none of them really took care of the offspring their union created. (Dragon was looking at him from afar and Crocodile completely lost track of him but was reminded sometimes that this child existed, he only realized his son was Luffy at Impel Down/Marinford)
Anyway I love this ship because it's really the biggest white canvas, we know nothing about Dragon and Crocodile's past and I love to make up things. I love how Crocodile is the melting pot for theories too (is he the former Kuja impress ?? Is he Whiteboard son ?? Rocks D Xebec's ??? (I like this one because we don't know sh*t about Xebec either ))
If you read all of this damn thanks first + don't hesitate to share your headcanons you probably have some fjdkdl
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kingofbodyrolls · 20 days
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BTS fic recs: August 2024
Hi! Thank you so much for looking at my fic recs— I truly hope you find something that you haven’t read, or something to reread maybe? Please show all of these wonderful authors some love on their original post to let them know they made something wonderful ✨
Some of the authors on this list is on hiatus, but please don’t let that stop you from reblogging or commentating on their story— because you don’t know when they might pop back in and see your lovely comment/reblog, so please— if you like something, show some love to the author 🥰
I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹
❗Most of these fics are smutty or dark as hell, so minors dni.❗ 
If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the fic, it might seem like a tiny gesture, but it really means a lot for writers and I can guarantee it will put a smile on their faces💜 Let’s share and give lots of love!
Looking for more to read? Check ‘The Library’ or last years recs 🙂
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[index] → jan | feb (jhs) | mar (myg) | apr | may | jun | jul | 💜 | sep (jjk)(knj) | oct (pjm) | nov | dec (kth)(ksj) |
Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻, fantasy = 🪄. 
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⭐Discord Discourse: pt1 and pt2 (series; discontinued) @joheunsaram [4k]  // knj x f.reader // idol!au, internet relationships, s2l, fanfic writer!reader // 🌩️🥰
📝 Kim Namjoon likes to spend time in a discord server… dedicated to him. With new friends and a budding crush, will he ever be able to truly be himself without revealing who he is?
🗨️ oh this one is so good! It’s amazing! The concept and plot is soo funny! I would be scared if this happened to me 😂
⭐You Set My Heart on Fire: pt1 and pt2 (series; completed) @hayjeon [21k] // knj x f.reader // one night stand, s2l, workplace!au, fireman!Namjoon + paramedic!reader // 🌩️🥰🥵
📝 as a surgeon forced to volunteer as a paramedic in the Seoul Fire Department during an unfortunate probation incident, your one and only goal was to get to work, do your thing, and get the hell home and back to your original high-salary job. But when the SFD’s Chief is the incredibly attractive, cocky, and persistent Kim Namjoon, things start to get heated.  
🗨️ holy shit this is amazing 💖 Namjoon as a firefighter? So fucking hot 🔥 oc as a surgeon turned paramedic ✨ and all the action, the tension, the friends with the whole crew and all the guys??? 🥹 Fuck. This one is amazing, another favorite! 
⭐Show Me How @imaginationofacrazyfangirl [3.9k] // knj x f.reader // tinder!au, virgin!au // 🥵
📝 you swiped right on a nerd, instead you got a Greek God. Or tired of your virginity, you decide to throw caution to the wind and find a hookup on tinder.
🗨️ omg this is really amazing! I’m going to warn you that it ends on a cliffhanger and there’s no other part to it, but it’s so amazing and it’s worth a read even though you’ll 100% be left wanting more 🥹😂 Their chemistry is so off the charts and the foreplay is so good 👏🏾
⭐Real Magic @here2bbtstrash [16.7k] // knj x f.reader // christmas!au, workplace!au, single dad!Namjoon // 🥵🥰
📝 the holiday season has never meant anything to you beyond suffering long hours for minimum wage and awaiting the collapse of capitalism— but this year, you’d be willing to add making out with your dilf coffee shop boss to the list.
🗨️ omg this was just so fucking amazing 🥰 I love everything about it and the plot was so fluffy 🥺 Namjoon was just so fluffy and I love his kid ✨ Such a sweet holiday fic, and even if it isn’t read around Christmas time it will bring a smile to your face. It’s truly amazing 💯💜
⭐Sweet Company @remedyx [4.4k]  // knj x f.reader // coffee shop!au, christmas!au, s2l // 🥰
📝 no one should ever have to spend the holidays alone. Coffee makes for better conversation than eggnog anyway.
🗨️ ih this was so cute and fluffy with a sprinkle of angst. I really loved the length that Namjoon went through for oc and it was such a sweet gesture 🥹 It’s completely SFW!!!
⭐Lost & Found @l0mljeonjungkook [9.6k]  // knj x f.reader // single mom!reader, bf2l // 🥰🥵
📝 eight years beside him were nothing but a roller coaster ride. Being a single mother wasn't easy, but your best friend, Kim Namjoon made your way smooth. You never knew you felt something for him until you read his diary, which you weren't supposed to read ever. What will you do, if not only you but Hyeon, your baby, and your best friend Namjoon, wants the same, what you desired for so long?
🗨️ this was cute 🥹
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⭐All Mine @cui-nisi [3.8k] // ksj x f.reader // college!au, fwb, e2l // 🥵
📝 with Jin being the student body president, you have to keep your purely sexual relationship on the DL, but what happens when it’s no longer just sexual?
🗨️ oh I really liked this one! The tension and energy between oc and Seokjin uffff 🔥
⭐Textbook Love @helenazbmrskai [11.6k] // ksj x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au, writer!reader, f2l // 🥵🥰🌩️
📝 loving your best friend’s brother is forbidden so what is even more forbidden you might ask. It’s writing smut about him. Can you still remain friends after he discovers your secrets?
🗨️ iiihhh, it was so good! ✨🥵
⭐Small Tuna Fish @floralseokjin [17.1k] // ksj x f.reader // college!au, f2l // 🥵🥰
📝 Kim Seokjin is a really nice guy. (Not to be confused with a ‘Nice Guy’). Too nice for someone like you, you’re sure. Which is why you’ve been attempting to ignore what’s going on between you. He couldn’t possibly be flirting with you. He couldn’t possibly like you. Could he? It the end, it takes one charity car wash event and one – or two, depending on how dirty your mind is – soakings to make things very clear. 
🗨️ damn, this was so funny, sweet and sexy at the same time ✨💯 loved the plot, the car wash–the wetness?? Omg. Everything was so fucking perfect 💖
⭐Dream Come True @sugaurora [16.8k] // ksj x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au, f2l // 🥵🥰
📝 since your brother had warned you years ago that his best friend Seokjin was off limits, you’d only allowed yourself to safely fantasize about him in your dreams. You’re not sure why tonight his lips feel so much softer and his hands so much warmer than usual, but you’re also not about to complain.
🗨️ shit I’m in love with this 🤧 It’s so fucking amazing, beautiful, sweet and fluffy. I lived it so much 💖 💯
⭐With You @yoonpobs [22.1k] // ksj x f.reader // marriage!au, divorce!au, childhood friends2lovers // 🥵🥰🌩️
📝 marrying your childhood best friend was not the love story that most painted it to be. you knew that better than anyone else.
🗨️ I really adore stories where the characters undergo emotional development 🥹 and these… They grow so much, and they even have supportive friends and family 🤧 Jin was a bit of a douche yes but he learned from his mistakes (hopefully keeps at it) and I really loved everything in it 🤧✨ I also loved that Jin suggested couples therapy, because I think that would be a big assert for them to achieve a healthier marriage 🥹 and when he asked oc on a date, and she went “but were married?” 🤭 also, I really think that going on dates while married is a really good way to keep the marriage alive too 🥰💜 I really loved it 💯
⭐Warm This Winter @jamaisjoons [51.6k] // ksj x f.reader (ft. ex!jjk) // one night stand, s2l, exes (jjk), christmas!au // 🥵🥰🌩️
📝 spending the winter vacation with an ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend was not something anyone would ever consider doing. spending the winter vacation with both an ex-boyfriend, his new girlfriend, and the one night stand you’d used to try to get over him, well that was a whole other situation that anyone sane would have fled from. and yet, here you are. caught between your best friend (and consequently your ex-boyfriend), and the very same man who you’d fallen into bed with after a night of wallowing in self pity. all while stuck in the picturesquely beautiful - and cruelly romantic - austrian alps. well. at least you can say you had an interesting christmas.
🗨️ PERFECTION 💯 This was so fucking incredible, I don’t know where to begin… I love Jin in this, he’s so fucking funny charming, sweet, kind and witty. He’s so him. The dynamic between all of the characters was amazing, and the tension and unresolved feelings between oc and Jungkook was so fucking good! I loved all the jealousy too, and then the fading of the jealousy. When things shifted for oc, how Seokjin helped her, and in that, she fell for him 🤧 Such a lovely Christmas story! There’s a lot of angst in it, yes, and tension, dear god, the tension is so good 😭 there humor, happiness, live and friendship. And missed chances, living with consequences 🥹✨ IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. IF YOU HAVEN’T READ IT BEFORE, DO IT NOW, AND IF YOU HAVE, READ IT AGAIN 💖
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⭐The Devil Wears Valentino @orchidyoonkook [10.4k] // myg x f.reader // devil!Yoongi, “friends” to lovers, spooky!au // 🥵🥰🌩️👻🪄
📝 having known him for years—from a small mistake on your behalf, and a favour on his—you’re one of the only people he seems to be able to put up with for company. Certainly the only one he’s half-way decent with. But what’s more surprising to you is that despite his name, reputation, and the fact he’s always joked he’d have killed anyone else by this point, is that he’s never once tried to cause you harm. Actually, he’s almost…protective of you. In his own weird way. And obnoxiously flirty.
🗨️ there is just so much in this one, and it’s so fucking amazing!!!! There’s so much lore, and brilliant storytelling and the writing was just so fucking suberb ✨ This is hands down one of the best stories I’ve ever read, and I’m so happy I did and I’ll revisit this story again sometime, because, fuck, it was just soo fucking good!!! 😭 I think this will be a perfect read at least once a year, preferably around Halloween— and then also on Yoongi’s birthday, because 🥵 Really, you should read this anything, multiple times! This has really become one of my personal favorites 💎
⭐By the Time I’ve Figured Out What it’s Worth @ugh-yoongi [20k] // myg x f.reader // musician!Yoongi, est. relationship, marriage!au // 🥵🥰🌩️
📝 you used to find comfort in it—listening to those old songs. the shy sounds of falling in love, the tinkling of a ring in a dish, the inevitable crash and burn. all those songs aren’t so comforting anymore, when you’d do anything to keep him and yoongi’s got one foot out the door.
🗨️ this was so heartbreakingly good, I don’t know where to begin!? It’s so raw and real, and this is very special to me, because I relate to the plot a lot. It really describes some struggles of marriage and relationships so well, how they handle the tough times! It was such a good read! Is it angsty? Yeah. Did I cry? Yeah. It was just perfection. I was really moved by this. So relatable, raw and realistic. So emotional. So beautiful 🤧💖
⭐The Seventh Muse @wwilloww [6.7k] // myg x f.reader // f2l, librarian!au // 🥵🥰
📝 as a writer, your favorite place in the world is the library. But you’re quickly coming to realize that it might not be the books that keep drawing you back, but the handsome, smart librarian who always knows exactly what you need.
🗨️ Cute and I really like it 💖
⭐Too High @ysljoon [1.7k] // myg x f.reader x fwb!Hoseok // toxic relationships, ex!Yoongi// 🌩️
📝 you haven't moved on from your ex, can someone else pick up the pieces for you or are you going to keep yourself in the cycle of the failed relationship?
🗨️ Oh this was bittersweet 🥺 going back to a guy who hurt you (I’m guessing emotionally), but he’s your home and comfort 🥺 I can see why OC’s toxic in her behavior, and I feel sad for everyone involved 🤧 The story is really good and it’s very emotional 💖
⭐Three Tangerines (series; ongoing) @kithtaehyung [n/a] // myg x f.reader // fuckboy!yoongi, brother’s best friend!au, age gap!au // 🌩️🥵🥰
📝 Throughout high school, you sometimes caught glimpses of your brother’s older friends: some of them were sweet, some of them were smart. but the one closest to him? that guy was a total f*ckboy from day one. after a foray of horrid relationships spanning years - ending with one that broke up with you for an alarming reason - you needed advice on what the hell you were doing wrong… and this wasn’t a conversation for anyone sweet or smart.
🗨️ 3tan is back on the list!!! 🥰 In case you haven’t read the new drabble of 3tan717 ‘Bet Wrong’ please go do it now, it’s so fucking good, sweet and dirty ✨
⭐Swing Life Away @aphrodijin [5.2k] // myg x f.reader // marriage!au, pregnancy!au // 🥵🥰🌩️
📝 it's your first anniversary as a married couple but not only did you forget today's special occasion, you also didn't prepare a self-made gift for your husband -- except for the bundle of joy in your womb.
🗨️ This was so fucking cute and sweet!! Omg I loved it so much 😭💯💜
⭐Minted (series; ongoing) @/kithtaehyung [9.4k] // myg x f.reader // haegeum!au, gang!au, street king!Yoongi, street cart vendor!reader // 🌩️🥵
📝 all you do is wake up, sell your fruit on the dusty streets below your flat, and go to sleep. but everything changes when a customer you always look forward to seeing turns out to be dangerous. really, really dangerous.
🗨️ Another amazing story from Ryen! This Yoongi is dark and so so interesting. There’s a lot of suspense, tension and angst, but it’s so fucking good! It’s fast paced, and it’s a slow burn at the same time— don’t ask me how Ryen does that, but it’s perfect! 👏💖
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⭐Not Interested @sehunpeachy [20k] // jhs x f.reader // e2l, college!au, swim team!au // 🥵🥰🌩️😂
📝 nobody has ever succeeded at swooping you off your feet. that is until you become coach assistant for your college’s swim team and maybe then, you learn everybody deserves a chance at love.
🗨️ wow, wow, wow. Enemies to lovers? 🥵 The tension between them was so fucking good, and the fact that it was a swim team??? Ehm hello? It was so wet, juicy and perfect!!! I loved everything in it (it was also witty and funny!) ✨💯
⭐After Hours @yminie [5.3k] // jhs x f.reader // retail!au, workplace!au, manager!hoseok // 🥵
📝 it’s no secret your manager is very, very good looking. So what can be expected of you when you spend one too many nights locked up on your own with him?
🗨️ manager Hoseok? I would not be able to function at work 🥵 it was so hooooot ✨
⭐Stop Being so Cute @thatmultifandomhoe [3.4k] // jhs x f.reader // coffee shop!au, s2l // 🥰
📝 intentionally left blank by the author.
🗨️ this was so cute 🥹💖
⭐Gone Wild @johobi [6.5k] // jhs x f.reader // bf2l, fwb, roommate!au // 🥵
📝 Hoseok consumes porn like he does Cheetos: in unhealthily large amounts. He’s seen, and jacked off to, most things imaginable. But there are those photos that always draw him back… 
🗨️ fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It was so amazing ✨💯 The tension?? So high and hot! The smut? I don’t know where to begin?? 🥵
⭐Me & You @/jamaisjoons [6.5k]  // jhs x f.reader // bf2l // 🥵🌩️🥰
📝 your relationship with your best friend has always been strange - especially since you started as friends with benefits. 
🗨️ this was so fucking hot I’m going KAVSVDBAKAVFK 🤧
⭐Fake Love @aquaminwrites [16.2k] // jhs x f.reader // fake dating!au, christmas!au, e2l // 🥵
📝 every year, your family spends the holidays at your parents’ cottage in the country. Freshly single and not wanting to be picked apart by your family for being alone, you decide to recruit one of your friends to pretend to be your boyfriend. The only available volunteer? Your brother Namjoon’s roommate, Hoseok. Only problem? He absolutely hates your guts. 
🗨️ I just love Christmas stories, and then you add a fake relationship, only one bed and enemies and brother’s best friend??? Hello. It was awesome, thank you very much ✨ I really loved it 💖 so, so good! 💯
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⭐Potent Pink (series; discontinued) @dntaewithluv [6.9k]  // pjm x f.reader // neighbor!au, fuckboy!au // 🥰🌩️😂
📝 the first time you see Park Jimin you’re instantly entranced by him. And it turns out he lives in the apartment next to the one you’re moving into, so even better he’s your hot neighbor. When the previous tenant confesses to you that he was the best hook up she ever had, you’re that much more intrigued. The first time you meet him, however, you’re deciding immediately that you hate him and want to stay as far away from him as possible. Jimin is determined to be a constant in your life though, and he definitely is that. Both a constant flirt and a constant pain in your ass. Is a ruined second impression enough to prevent you from ever giving him a second chance?
🗨️ it was so good! And I feel like I want to know so much more about why Jungkook doesn’t like Jimin, why he’s saying not to invite him into OC’s life. It was such a good prologue! 🥹 Sadly it hasn’t been updated, so I’ll make this as a discontinued series… But I still think it’s worth a read because both the writing and the story was so good 💜✨
⭐Mismatched Pages: pt1 and pt2 (series; discontinued) @knjoodles [1.2k + 4.2k]  // pjm x f.reader // university!au, writer!au // 🥰🌩️
📝 you love writing. it’s your passion, it’s what you dream to do forever. up until you find out the guy you really like also happens to be the guy who’s stealing your ideas. then it sucks.
🗨️ this was really cute 🥹 it hasn’t been updated after chapter two, so I assume that it’s discontinued. I really like the plot though!!! 💜
⭐Blooming Days @bluekyun [15.3k] // pjm x f.reader // university!au, bf2l, pregnancy!au // 🥰🌩️🥵😂
📝 a typical night for you begins at the library in your favorite chair underneath the lamp in the corner, only to be picked up at 3am by your best friend, Jimin. Despite having slept over in his room several times before, this certain night in Sigma house leads to far more than you ever imagined. But what is to come of your friendship once you reveal those two little lines that will change your lives forever?
🗨️ ahhhh this was so cute, lovely, fluffy and funny! It was also sprinkled with a bit of angst that made me tear up and scared for a moment 🥺 but the ending was happy 🥰 I really loved it 💖💯
⭐Tonight @pjmparadise [6.5k] // pjm x f.reader // idol!au, s2l // 🥰🌩️
📝 during a visit to New York, Jimin stops in front of a bar in passing and takes notice of you inside; lonely, gloomy, and so beautiful. He’s immediately drawn to you and can’t shake the image of you. He returns later that night, hoping he can still meet you. But will you feel the same way?
🗨️ this was cute 🥹 And for some reason, this felt very “who” coded 🥹 really fluffy but it’s a bit bittersweet, but hopeful ending! I really loved it 💖
⭐Never Falling + Forever Falling + Free Falling @yoonia [21k + 30.5k + 22k] // pjm x f.reader // e2l, singer!Jimin, non-idol!au, workplace!au, assistant!reader // 🌩️🥵
📝 for Park Jimin, you are everything he will ever need—his assistant, his housekeeper, his task runner, his fairy godmother. For you, he is more than everything. You have dedicated your life for him and, before you even realised it, your heart belongs to him alone. The only problem is that he is never yours, and you are living in a world that your love for him is nothing more than a fairytale ending. As you are suddenly given a chance to wake up and face the real world, will you be ready to embrace it? Will he be ready to deal with the world without you in it?
🗨️ this has been on my trl for forever, and then, it was only a one-shot, so color me pleased and pleasantly surprised to find out that this is now a freaking trilogy 🤯✨ I loved everything in it, and it’s so fucking amazing— if you have not already read it, you are certainly missing out! This is definitely one of my all time favorites 💎
⭐Eldorado @smoochkooks [38k] // pjm x f.reader // gold diggers!au, e2l, slowburn, adventure!au // 🥰🌩️🥵
📝 not all that glitters is gold but you, qualified gold digger, carrying on your back immense experience acquired all around the globe, came to the city of el paso del conte with one goal in your mind: to hit the jackpot of the eldorado of Texas. and nothing, no tragedies and adversities will stop you from pursuing it. but in every fairytale-like, too-good-to-be-true story, there’s a catch. this time, it comes in the name of park jimin, annoyingly handsome archeologist, your sworn enemy and biggest rival. 
🗨️ this has been on my trl list for some many fucking years 😭 well, I finally got to read it! And it was amazing, it was so fucking funny! Filled with witty banter, jokes and stereotypical jokes 😂 World building was so good too! And the smut? Fire 🥵 I really loved it 💖💯
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⭐Backseat Serenade @jungkxook [10.7k]  // kth x f.reader // est. relationship, band!au, brother’s best friend, punk!Taehyung // 🥵
📝 falling in love and having weekly sex with kim taehyung is wrong for a number of reasons — and, no, that’s not including the whole other issue that he’s also your brother’s best friend
🗨️ This was so fucking amazing 🥵💜✨
⭐Any Way You Want It @noteguk [6.6k] // kth x f.reader // childhood bf to lovers // 🥵🥰
📝 in which your best friend, Taehyung, finds out about your unsatisfying sexual experiences and decides to put an end to that track record himself. 
🗨️ fuck this was so cute, and fuck the smut was so hot 🥵✨💯
⭐Supernova @whatifyoulivelikethat [n/a] // kth x f.reader // bf2l // 🥵😂
📝 Kim Taehyung is your best friend. Considering him as anything more was asking for a collapsed relationship. You two were just two points in the sky, side by side, always shining together. Stars aren’t meant to collide, right? 
🗨️ ØANFBGÆSB. Yep. Speechless. It was so hot! Amazing! And funny too ✨💜
⭐Rent-a-BoyfriendTM + drabble @jimlingss [12k] // kth x f.reader // s2l, fake dating!au // 😂🥰
📝 left intentionally blank by the author.
🗨️ fuck this was so freaking cute and fluffy with a small sprinkle of angst. Perfection 👏🏾 🥰💯
⭐The Assistant: pt1 and pt2 (series; completed) @lavienjin [3.8k]  // kth x f.reader // workplace!au, assistant!Taehyung, boss!reader // 🥵🌩️
📝 Kim Taehyung is your assistant and moonlights as a masseuse in the evening. When you came to the office the morning after a bad date, all you wanted is his hands all over your body.
🗨️ really liked this one ✨💜
⭐Lovestruck @seokstrivia [9k]  // kth x f.reader // jock!au, s2l, slowburn // 🥵🥰
📝 it was love at first sight, however, what you had imagined was very different from real life. In other words, Kim Taehyung didn’t know you existed.
🗨️ cute, cute, cute 🥰
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⭐Chasing Cars (series; completed) @oddinary4bts [218.5k] // jjk x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au, forbidden love!au, college!au, slice of life!au // 🥵🌩️🥰
📝 when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
🗨️ the series are completed! I still need to read the last chapter, but it's so fucking good 💜 If you haven't read this one yet, you really should, and remember to read all the drabbles from JK's pov for each chapter ✨
⭐Bottle Up Old Love @wintaerbaer [4.6k] // jjk x f.reader // exes to lovers // 🥵🌩️🥰
📝 Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep.
🗨️ aaaaaaah this was so good! The smut, the plot (JK is protective and I love it), I really loved everything about this ✨💯
⭐Hold Me Close + Hold Me Closer @ahundredtimesover [22.6k] // jjk x f.reader // brother’s best friend!au // 🥵🌩️🥰
📝 when Jimin hits a crisis, he enlists the help of his older sister - you - and his best friend, Jungkook, to put the pieces back again. That proves to be difficult when 1) Jimin’s a brat and a certified pain in the ass, and 2) Jungkook has grown and suddenly, you can’t keep your eyes off him.
🗨️ omg this was so fucking amazing 😭✨ The characters are amazing in this, there’s cute backstory, details and the sibling bond is top tier, and the chemistry between oc and Jungkook is so fucking good! The tension is perfect and I love the slow burn 🥰 I feel this was also a bit on the existential side, which I really love. Like the dialogue had me thinking about my own life! I love when that happens! And it was so fun reading about siblings, and I’m missing my own baby sister right now. Anyway, it was exceptionally good! Amazing! 💯 And there’s a mention of Jungkook’s glazed potato incident you can’t miss! It was so fun (both this and the run episode 😂). Can’t recommend this one enough!!
⭐Right Here @namluve [13k]  // jjk x f.reader // 90’s!au, high school!au, fwb to lovers // 🥵🌩️🥰
📝 you had always been a part of the plastics and he was born on the wrong side of town. what happens when your worlds collide, and you realize that he is the only one in your life that’s not fake? 
🗨️ omg this was so heartbreakingly sad 😭😭😭😭 It was beautiful, and I loved it, don’t get me wrong, but I’m so sad 😭 that ending 🤧
⭐(Un)welcomed Addition @shuadotcom [9k]  // jjk x f.reader // neighbors!au, fuckboy!au // 🌩️🥰
📝 after a drunken one night stand with your neighbor, you have your reasons for wanting to forget it ever happened and never talk to him again. Unfortunately, Jungkook wins the award for the world’s worst neighbor so his 3 am wakeup calls and mail stealing have you banging at his door on an almost weekly basis. You just want to make it to the end of your lease so you can leave all the traces of the fuckboy next door behind…unless your feelings get in the way of course.
🗨️ it was funny and cute! I really liked it and there is a plot twist in there that I won’t spoil! ✨
⭐Jump Then Fall (Into You): pt1 + pt2 + pt3 (one-shot; completed) @writtenwhalien [52k] // jjk x f.reader // bf2l, cruise!au, fake dating!au // 🌩️🥰🥵
📝 bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?
🗨️ this story is so fucking good! I love everything in it, and the characters are so good and detailed (even the minor characters!!!). This is totally a new all time favorite of mine 🌟
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⭐Dragonheart (ongoing series) @captain-joongz [22.1k+]  // ot7 x f.reader // dragon rider!au, high fantasy!au, e2l // 🥵🌩️🥰😂
📝 the Gong-li Empire has been on the peak of its power for a little over a millenium, and there was a very simple reason for that - dragonkind. When the first emperor of the Li Dynasty struck a deal with a witch that would allow him to bind dragons to the crown and force them into obedience, it was the beginning of its reign of terror and the end of freedom for creatures as old as nature itself. Now, a woman hoping to change everything enters the ranks of the elite dragon rider unit among the imperial army and meets seven men that not only change her life, but help her change the fate of the whole world.
🗨️ this is so fucking amazing; there’s a lot of lore to dig into, the characters are good and funny. The storytelling is so good too! I can’t wait to read more of this one ✨ If you love fantasy and dragons, I’m sure you’ll love this one 💜
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⭐End of the World: a Flickering Hope + Drabble + Epilogue  [4k + 1.2k + 0.9k]  // myg x f.reader // s2l, apocalypse!au // 🥵🥰😂🌩️👻
📝 your government has been telling you to prepare for war, just as a precaution given the recent political changes around your country. Did you listen and prepare? No. Are you paying the price now, friends all but gone, and your city burned to pieces? Yes. Survival instincts kicking in, you search for a place to rest, nourish your battered and hungry body, only to find yourself at the porch of a stranger. Will he help you, or leave you to your own demise? 
⭐Whalien52 [10.6k]  // pjm x f.reader // s2l, dystopian!au // 🌩️🥵👻
📝 you’ve been working for the New World Order as an assassin for years, guarding secrets without batting an eye or asking questions. But when a striking pink haired man shows up at the headquarters stealing information, he makes you question everything. With all of humanity at stake, what will you do? 
⭐When It Sinks In [13.1k]  // ksj x f.reader // est. relationship, mermaid!au, amnesia romance // 🥵🪄🥰🌩️
📝 life as a mermaid is wonderful, especially when your merman boyfriend, Seokjin, treats you just right. But you’re beginning to recall memories that you don’t think are yours from life on land— from a past life maybe? When you do realize that the memories are in fact your own, the world comes tumbling down around you, questioning your very existence. Are you even a real mermaid?
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Thank you so much for reading my rec list, I hope you’ll reblog it to make it reach more people! There’s some insanely good reads on here ✨
If you want more, you’re more than welcome to follow me! I do monthly rec lists and sometimes I post my own writing too (only bangtan). 
Love you and borahae 💜
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“The Same Place as the Music” Lighting & Color
“Where is the light coming from?” “The same place as the music.” Andrew Lesnie, Cinematographer of LOTR
How & Why It's A Problem
If I had to summarize the frustration I have with this topic in one image, I'd use JeCorey Holder's (queer Black creative!) meme:
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Now here's the thing. I'm not saying you have to be a master at lighting. I'm surely not. Hell, I still play around with lighting in my art in ways that aren’t the ‘most realistic’. You can’t ask me the technical explanations behind ‘color theory’ or 'contrast' without me doing some more reading. However… I don’t think anyone needs an art degree to understand this point:
We should be able to SEE your brown skinned Black characters!
I brought this up in my lessons about skin tones and blushing, and it applies with lighting as well. If all of your other characters have focused light and shadows, so should your Black characters.
However, this does NOT mean making them lighter-skinned!!!!
It's not funny nor logical at all to suggest that they somehow can't be seen like your other characters when you’re the one creating the piece. It's like a classic fifth-grade racist joke, “You blend in at night”. Har-de-har.
I was once rudely told to my face (well in the DMs) that a Black character that was completely Europeanized looked like that “because of the [sepia] lighting”. So I'm going to give you all, gracious readers, an example to show that that's not true.
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This is Ana Flávia, Afro-Brazilian model! Gaze upon her beauty! Notice how in both of these filters, Ana did not, in fact, turn into a white woman! Because, my friends, that is not how that works! At all!
Here are some other examples of Black people in non-color lighting:
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None of these people vanished from the frame just because there was no color. They didn't have to paint on lighter makeup to be captured by the camera. What do they all have in common (in this example)?
Lighting!
Now let’s discuss different ways to think about and potentially try instead!
What I want you all to keep in mind, is that the art you’re painting:
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And I know that's silly right, like yeah no shit Ice, we knew that. BUT my point here is don’t be afraid to study photography, theatre, and staging for ideas. They actively work with light! It’s why I share so many images of models; it’s purposeful, focused staging of light with many of these compositions!
Brown-skinned Black people- brown-skinned people in general- GLOW in the light! Our skin reflects environmental light! There’s so much opportunity to play with that, and you can see different examples in those mediums.
Here are a couple articles of lighting in film focused on Black actors.
When lighting a person with dark complexion, the answer is not LIGHTENING THE SKIN, it’s understanding how light reflects off of dark skin.” -Nilah Magruder
Nilah Magruder (Black creator!) has an ENTIRE, thorough and wonderful essay on the topic, far better than I could give! She incorporates the use of cameras, lighting, painting, and more- so rather than be redundant here, I'm going to spotlight (ha see what I did there. It's okay, I know I'm funny) her and her explanation.
Incorporating Blackness in Color/Colorful Lighting
@dsm7 has an excellent and short visual explanation of how picking certain colors will lead to washing out or whitewashing Black characters, and how certain lighting and backgrounds (think the black and white photos on brighter backgrounds) will change the way their skin tone looks.
@nicosbighead has one of my favorite images on here, that shows how many different colors can still be used to convey the image of Blackness. Notice how all those pinks still worked?
@gaksdesigns has a beautiful picture here that I feel utilizes the light in a very minimal yet effective way to show highlights even on a palette that's fully brown.
This article approaches from a lighting perspective via filmmaking, but essentially Sade Ndya suggests instead of increasing the amount of light, change the color/lens of the light based on your character’s skin, as well as for the circumstances of the scene. They'll remain vibrant that way, and you’ll still capture what you need.
I know one way I do this on CSP (I think I’ve mentioned this but I can’t remember) is to use the Add Glow tool with the same or a similar shade of the character’s brown skin tone as a highlight under natural light, or maybe use different colors or filters depending on the sort of light on their skin at the time.
Here’s a reddit about it too, just because I know y’all value Reddit on here, and someone else discussed the topic that both Nilah and Sade discussed.
Is It Intentional?
There are going to be times where you intend for the light to be minimal. Maybe it’s a style choice. That should still show purposeful composition. Here’s an interview with famed Black director Ava Duvernay discussing the intentional darkness on Black actors in the prison scene in the movie Selma. To show that they're both trapped in prison AND that Martin is temporarily low on resolve- it's a part of the story that's being told.
I'm always talking about this: there is a difference between intention (and following through), and neglecting to think about it at all. And neglect isn't what we want, because often we can tell visually when it is- when an artist simply did not think to do it for one versus the rest.
Sidenote, on Youtube in the suggestions after Ava's interview, are also plenty of videos discussing lighting for dark-skin as well- why not take the chance to look?
Conclusion
We do not lack for light! We aren’t flat and lightless when you see us in life. It's actually a pretty awesome part of being brown-skinned. If you’re giving proper, flattering lighting to everyone else, give it to us as well. Study and experiment with ways to highlight brown skin.
You already know what I’m going to say. It’s going to take practice, same as anything else, because it’s the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!
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