#that's mommy...

[desperatepleasures]

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

[opiumvampire]

fuck w me

[fluffy--cookie]

[mommyloveyoutoo]

Do you like this vacation with mommy little girl huh?

[ivvyela]

can’t wait to see billy sitting with the young avengers trying his best to ignore his loving ghost mom being an asshole in the corner

[raspberriebabie]

i like the idea of being so high that all i can do is lay there and fucking take it. cock down my throat or in my pussy or ass, bruising me, biting me, whatever you want. use dildos or vibrators or try to fist me or shove wine bottles or fruit and vegetables in my cunt… talk to me however you want, call me a slut and a whore or treat me like a doll or your little girl or whatever you want… just use me.

[yutamayo]

Get car seats for my kids first.

[sparklejumpropequeen1949]

This or nothing

[loveeeeeeeeeeeere]

Me and who

[itswillowneptune]

i love teasing you while you’re denied and locked up for me🔑

[itsprincessprettytoes]

pretty boys whose eyes roll back into their head when you finally touch them. pretty boys who whisper "oh fuck" under their breath. pretty boys who need to be restrained because they can't handle the teasing. pretty boys who forget they're holding their breath and let out little gasps and pants. pretty boys who cry when they get to leak for you.

[mommynr]

overstimulated boys that whine "i love you, i love you, i love you" over and over again, when they're on the verge of cumming, are the most precious little playthings !! <3

[macroglossus]

so i love peppermint candy and when i was in middle school theyd hold a candy cane sale in december, one quarter per candy cane! extremely excellent deal, except i was twelve and completely broke. so one year i scrounged for floor change for a couple of days before deciding i was desperate and stealing $20 from my mother’s nightstand 😔 it weighed on me for a full decade until a few months ago i decided to finally confess to my mom and she was like. yeah dude you came home with eighty candy canes. do you think i’m stupid

[scoriarose]

A baby rattle snake following its mommy ❤️

Definitions of parental behavior differ, but Shine points out that mother snakes seem to go to some trouble for their offspring. For instance, python moms will often stay coiled around their pile of eggs for about 2 months, even though they haven’t had anything to eat for 6 or 7 months. At first glance, it might seem hopeless for a cold-blooded animal to try to incubate its eggs. When the temperature drops sufficiently, though, the python shivers, thereby warming the clutch with heat derived from muscle activity. Many rattlesnakes and their pit viper cousins don’t lay eggs but instead give birth to ready-to-wriggle offspring. Back in the Chiricahua foothills of Arizona, the black-tailed rattler mother that so excited Hardy and Greene stayed near her youngsters and the sheltering rocks of the birth site for more than 9 days. The scenes that the researchers described in 2002 might apply as well to a mother dog and her pups. On day 4 after the birth, Hardy observed superfemale 21 near the birth site as five of her newborns crawled around. They had worked their way out of the shelter’s entrance, over the mother’s body, and a little way into the surrounding grass. An hour later, several youngsters had piled on top of her. When one wriggled over her head, she tolerantly rearranged her coils. Thus, the days went by with the family basking just outside its rocky den. About 9 days after birth, the little snakes shed their skins as their mother watched from a few inches away. The youngsters then disappeared, presumably crawling off on their own. Greene and Hardy’s detailed monitoring of black-tailed rattler life had convinced them that the females typically don’t eat during winter hibernation or the spring pregnancies that follow. Greene paints a heroic picture of the mother, who further delays her return to hunting. “She hasn’t eaten for about 10 months, but she stays around for 10 more days,” he says. He and Hardy have since observed similar behavior in several females.

Source: https://www.sciencenews.org/article/social-lives-snakes

[flimsy-spoon]

"But I haven't shaved"

Okay? Take your fucking pants off, that's not gonna stop me from eating you out.