#that's just what companies are now calling members because none of them stand out enough in any category to be called main anythibg
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wildernessuntothemselves · 1 year ago
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Kpop stans talking about their fave: wow they sound so good literally they have the voice of an angel i'm gonna cry
Their fave: delivers the most mediocre vocal performance I've ever heard in my life
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appleandsnow · 10 months ago
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By your side
Summary: the 5 times Nikolai was by your side and the one time he wasn't
Tags: hanahaki au, enemies to lovers, childhood friends to lovers.
WC: 1400 words.
(i)
You're old enough to understand him but not old enough to know him. That's the age at which you learn to hate Nikolai Lantsov.
He sits in your spot in the kitchen, looking for all the world as though he were heartbroken and tired.
It was your spot because it kept you away from the work and bustle while giving you a perfect view of your mother - her being one of the many cooks/pastry chefs in the palace.
It was something you liked to brag about when other kids tried to be mean - that your mum was a valued servant amongst royalty but you never told them that she'd sneak you the badly shaped pastries or any leftover filling. That would lead to theft or worse - accusations of treason.
You were a child. Not an idiot.
So when you walk in with marbles in your hand and see the boy for the first time, you understand that he's the kid that stays indoors.
He looked like the kind of weed that kept his clothes clean on purpose.
No wonder his mother trusted him with clothing like that!
So when you sit in a different corner, you've already grown to hate the prince and when your mum gives him a well made pastry and you none, you hate him even more.
Nikolai knows exactly what to make of you as you sit away and send him glares and he hates you for it.
You're old enough to understand the second prince of Ravka but not old enough to know him; that's the age at which you learn to hate him
(ii)
You take to calling him "the delicate darling" when your mum insists on fussing over the boy.
It's true that he never came back to the kitchens but it's also true that the isolated instance was enough for your mum to take to him and worry about him.
You never call him that to anyone but your mum as the joke of the name was in calling him 'delicate' and no member of royalty was ever to be spoken of in terms of frailty. It could lead to you being imprisoned but that doesn't stop you from committing treason in the privacy of your mum's company.
When she peers around the door in an empty room and rushes to your side, you know there's been talk.
There had been talk. Of Nikolai.
Everyone had just found out of why the second prince had been so othered his whole life.
He was a bastard child.
No one knew what to make of the news but no one was surprised either. In hindsight, it seemed something too obvious.
What else could justify the constant sobriety where Vasili was so blatant and spoilt?
You stop calling him "the delicate darling".
Your mum notices.
(iii)
The second prince of Ravka; Nikolai is beautiful.
You're his personal servant and know of his reclusive tendencies better than anyone could hope to.
You spend hours and days carrying and fetching inks, pens, books, papers, maps and any snacks within palace bounds but there are days where you can't grudge his highness.
Some days, he was too beautiful to be blamed.
You had easily imagined him as a painting held on the walls for the centuries to come but now you could imagine him as someone the young ones would gawk at. Because you'd gawked at him.
Just once and then you'd made sure to stomp on the urge but you had doen it -much to your humiliation.
His highness had decided to go horse riding, making his mother weep for joy and call him 'wise'.
Truly. A family of idiots.
You'd gotten his things and brought the horse to hime. With practice, he took the reins and got onto the dreadful thing and though there had been no talk, he'd made you still.
The Prince; Nikolai was beautiful.
The navy against his skin.
His dark eyes against his fair hair.
He might as well have been a sculpture!
He rushes away and you're left standing there with a knot in your sternum.
Nikolai? was beautiful?
Nikolai was beautiful.
You shove the knot away and keep it shoved away.
(iv)
He befriends you.
or, in earnest, he let you sit down while he spent hours poring overlooks in the library.
You don't lounge like he does but at least you're sitting down.
Thenhe let's you take blank papers, then from his tea tray and then from his pile of foreign candy.
You don't dare to talk to him. It was far beyond you to risk your job but Nikolai was either unaware or unbothered of his treatment towards you.
It's one of the many days with his reclusive tendencies when he asks you something.
"What is it like? To go out with people while doing your duties?"
"I don't understand"
He notices the lack of judgement. Searching your face, he elaborates "My mother insists I befriend other royals but I don't see the charm of it? Wouldn't I be chattering needlessly then? What difference does it make when I don't like them?".
Any opinion here would be treason. To a prince no less.
You keep quiet.
He sighs. "I understand. What is it that your friends do that you can't do at work? Besides being honest."
It's hard to keep your faces still.
Neither if you succeeds.
"Nicknames. We have nicknames while we go about our duties."
"Call me Kolya"
You can't tell if he means to ask you that as a servant or a confidant.
"At least now; in private. Please?"
You hope he doesn't insist after this, so you indulge him.
"Kolya"
He's beautiful when he smiles.
(v)
Kolya.
A single invented word.
Kolya.
Somethjng he hasn't been called before.
Kolya.
Somethkng melodic.
Kolya.
A gift from a friend.
Kolya.
Him.
He wants to lock the word and keep it with him.
Tie it to a locket, maybe.
Burn it into his inner arm.
Something, anything to keep it safe.
"Kolya"
You don't miss that he fights a smile.
"Yes?".
Ever the prince.
"Why flying?" You keep your voice hushed and words restrained. He doesn't
"Well, corny as it is - I value my freedom"
"Flying is.... freedom?"
How could a prince long for freedom?
"You understand. Don't you?"
And now, you do understand.
The whispered 'sobachka'.
The backhanded compliments.
The snobbery that seemed to keep him apart.
The insistence on his 'blood rights'.
Freedom.
You hadn't thought of this before. Hadn't thought of having an entire world and no one to split with.
"Isn't the sky lonely too?"
You face away and school your expressions.
Someone had rustled in.
(vi)
He runs away.
Kolya runs away and all you feel is pride.
He does it on the pretext of exploring the forest for a few days.
He packs his necessities. Gets on a horse. And he's gone.
You know because he's told you so and asked of your help and because he said he'd leave you something in the forest.
Its as dusk falls that you set out on his trail.
You know that he won't risk your job, so, you agree.
In a few days, soldiers would be sent our with lanterns with the hopes that the prince was lost and lying face first and drunk in the dirt.
It would be bittersweet to be the only one who knew.
Right now, you follow his trail deep into the woods and find your gift.
It was a pouch of the foreign candy you loved more than Nikolai did.
Holding the tattered pouch, made precisely to look as unlike royalty as possible, you feel something swell in your sternum and up your lungs.
You don't cry.
You cough up petals.
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topgun-imagines · 1 year ago
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Day 13: The Company We Keep
Pairings: Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd x fem!reader
Synopsis: one by one, your friends cut you off after you cost Bob his life in a tragic accident.
Warnings: death, ejections, plane crashes, depression, nightmares, insults & abandonment.
Word count: 1.2k
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You remembered everything as if it was yesterday. Every time you closed your eyes, you could still hear his screams. The pained sounds your WSO let out as the two of you plummeted toward the ground haunted your mind when you were alone. If you had your way, you never would have ejected from that jet. You would have gone down with him. The shrink you had been forced to see called it survivor's guilt. Honestly, you didn’t care what it was called. You just wanted this feeling to go away.
In the aftermath of the accident, your friends had become your support system. They were there for you in the dark nights when you woke up to the sound of his screams. Phoenix had held your hair up when you were throwing up in the middle of the night. Jake had forced you to scarf down some food when all you wanted was to disappear. Bradley had practically shoved you into the shower after many days of you neglecting the idea of hygiene. While you appreciated all of their help, none of their actions made the ache in your chest disappear.
Because the thing was, Robert Floyd wasn’t just your backseater. He was so much more than that. You loved him more than anyone else in the world. However, you never got the chance to tell him exactly how much he meant to you. You were the reason that Bob had died. It was all your fault that the WSO had lost his life, scared and alone. For that, you would never forgive yourself.
No matter how much the rest of the Dagger Squad tried to convince you that it wasn’t your fault, you still couldn’t find any reason to believe him. You were his pilot. It was your responsibility to protect him and you had failed.
Just over three months ago, you and Bob had been sent on a mission alone. You were informed that the two of you would be more than enough to take care of the problem at hand. That, however, was not the case. Things had gone sideways mere moments into the mission. Before you knew it, your jet was struck with a surface-to-air missile. Pinned forward, Bob was unable to reach the ejection handle. You, however, were unaware of that.
Had it not been for the sheer panic that filled that moment, you would have been able to detect the fear in his voice. You would have noticed when he lied to you about being right behind you. He promised that he would follow only seconds behind you. You just had to eject. Against your better judgment, you had listened to him. You watched, horrified in mid-air as your jet crashed into the mountainside and erupted into flames. A second parachute never came from your jet. The thought had you feeling numb as you fell toward the ground. Now, here you were, crying into Jake’s arms after waking up from your third nightmare that night.
However, as much as you tried to ignore it, you couldn’t quite block out the other reason you felt so terrible. Ever since the accident, members of the Dagger Squad had slowly begun to distance themselves from you. Bob’s death had taken a toll on everyone, and while you would argue that you were the most affected, not everyone seemed to agree with that.
The first one to step away was Fanboy. You simply chalked it up to him being upset over the loss of one of his best friends. That was until Coyote and Payback began coming up with excuses to hang out with anyone but you. Honestly, the thought hadn’t had too much of an impact on you until Phoenix began pulling away. She was your best friend. After losing Bob, you couldn’t stand the thought of losing her too. One by one, your friends began to disappear from your life.
You couldn’t really blame them. Not when you were responsible for taking the life of one of their best friends. Everything finally fell apart when you heard Rooster and Hangman talking. You had just come down the stairs, expecting to find the two passed out in various positions in your living room. Instead, you found them in your kitchen, Bradley sitting at the table with Jake leaning on your counter. His arms were crossed over his chest. Just as you were about to round the corner and make your presence known, Jake began speaking.
“At the end of the day, she’s the reason he’s dead, Bradshaw,” A hand slapped over your mouth in an attempt to muffle your cries. You knew why this was coming up now. The therapist you had been seeing had finally cleared you to return to work. Jake only proved your theory when he spoke next. “How are we supposed to be up in the air with her now? How are we supposed to trust her?”
Bradley nodded from his seat at your table. “I know, man,” Your entire body was shaking. These were the people that you trusted your life with. It killed you inside knowing that they couldn’t do the same. However, you couldn’t really blame them. After all, you were the reason that the entire Dagger Squad had to attend Robert Floyd’s funeral. It was all your fault. “She can’t be trusted anymore. It’s as simple as that. Honestly, I’m not even sure why she was cleared to fly again.” With that, they shared a laugh. It was as if everything you were going through was comical to them.
Doing your best to wipe your tears away, a soft sniffle escaped you. They were your best friends. You had just lost the man you loved and now you were finding out that you couldn’t even rely on them to help you through this. Sure, in the beginning, everything had been better. You had your support system there for you whenever you needed them. Lately, your support system had been walking further and further away from you.
So, you sucked it up and walked around the corner. The shocked faces on both of their faces would have brought a small sense of joy to you had you not felt numb inside. “If you don’t want to be here, you can leave,” You started, pointing at the door with a shaky finger. “I know that I fucked up, but I certainly don’t need to hear it from you.” With that, you walked out of the room and back to your bedroom, locking the door behind you.
You didn’t care whether or not they left. All you wanted to do was go back to how things were. With no one around to force you out of it, you fell back into the same state you were in after you lost Bob. Your friends had turned their backs on you, and yet you couldn’t find it in you to care anymore. The only person you wanted was Bob. Even though you knew you could never get him back, he was the one person on your mind as you drifted off. Tears stained your pillow as memories of the accident plagued your mind. This time, there was no one to wake you up when the horrors seemed too real to handle.
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a/n: Thank you for reading! Join the taglist!
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peppertaemint · 2 years ago
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Can you help? I hate twitter because so many on there hate Lee Sooman and some assume things so can you tell me whether or not SM making a deal with KaKao and Lee Sooman suing SM means bad things for SM artists? I love several groups and artists there but Idk how this all could effect future albums coming out and comebacks. If you ask someone on twitter they're either celebrating Lee Sooman being ousted or saying how it's very bad for SM artists now that SM has made a deal with Kakao. I'm so worried for EXO, NCT, WayV and SHINee now amongst the others who are there. EXO, SHINee and SuperM were supposed to have comebacks. Does that mean everything is ruined now?
No, nothing is ruined. Let me explain.
The drama that happens at board level can affect staff morale or spark lots of gossiping and division, but the actual operation of the day to day business should see little to no impact. Comebacks that are imminent won't be affected. What could be affected are things planned for later in the year or next year, but that really depends on whether these are "3.0" things or not. Things will still happen but how they happen could change. For music to cease production and artists to stop performing you'd need a shut down of all company operations. That's not gonna happen because everyone from the wardrobe stylists to the artists to the board members want to keep getting paid. We might see the company restructured with layoffs but it won't cease operations.
Now, it sounds like what the co-CEOs did was illegal. If there is a clause that the majority shareholder must have first sight or consultation on new shares being issued, I can't see how the other shareholders can get around that unless they malign him as legally incompetent/no confidence or something. Basically they are trying to pull a Succession and oust LSM from any position of power on the board. He is Logan Roy in this scenario. What happens next depends.
If he successfully gets an injunction, the shares and bonds sale will stop, which prevents Kaokao from obtaining a powerful stake in the company. From what I understand, if all the minority shareholders banded together, then even with an injunction on new shares being issued, they could still circumvent LSM. The question for me is concerning the 3.0 plan - will the injunction stop that work?
SM until recently ran all its music production through LSM's production company. SM 3.0 plans take the company into the state having multiple production labels. See the conflict? LSM is losing authority and power over all of SM's music, and now he stands to lose board-level power too. He's essentially being kicked away from his own company.
The problem is that we all know SM needs change. They need to keep their core values around talent and discipline and branch out. Some of the music lately has been just too experimental or not quite right. There's being ahead of trends and then there's just being out of whack entirely. 2 Baddies 1 Porsche is a prime example for me. Why would anyone think a song originally called 2 Bitches 1 Porsche makes any sense for the supposedly sophisticated NCT brand? NCT 127 is wild and campy, but to me this is just too far off brand. NCT's strength was in their collaborative model - where has that gone? It feels like Dream are going after the BTS junior spot....
GOT The Beat is another example that feels like an egregious misfire. You take your most talented women and give them songs that just have none of what usually makes SM music special - the songs are too high-concept imo. Neither song worked for me.
But who is behind these misfires? LSM or the new CEO, his nephew? I'm not versed enough in SM-ology to know. People are taking sides, but do they know what side they're even taking?
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teakookssi · 2 years ago
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Before I Leave You [Eren/Levi x Reader FF]
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[ curated playlist ][ full story can be found here or here ]
[Overview & prologue]
➺ pairing: levi ackerman/eren jeager x fem!reader
➺ status: continuous
➺content: mafia au, crime, arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, angst, lol so much angst
➺warnings: SHIT. IS. DARK. YO. violence, blood, strong language, guns/weapons, and illegal activities are all mentioned but hey, that’s attack on titan for you, so if you can handle that, you can handle this (:
Chapter 2: in the company of killers pt 1
“He’s a spy,” Jean states matter-of-factly, turning his head to where Eren Yeager's unconscious body is being held against a metal pole in the basement of one of your father’s manufacturing companies.
It’s not your area of choice. The smell of the fumes from the factory floor above is strong, but it was the closest place from Red Rose that sustained enough security for you to interrogate Eren without interruption. It was also within quick reach of your cadre. Once word got out of what had happened, the remaining members of your inner circle arrived at your location like soldiers called to action.
They surround you now as you lean against the pole opposite of where Eren is tied up near the center of the room, your arms crossed over your chest in a seemingly poised manner. You remain quiet as they all continue to assess the situation amongst themselves, but your calculating eyes never leave Eren’s face, watching him with a detached gaze as blood drips down the side of his head from the blow Jean dealt to his head.
“He’s probably working with the sniper,” Jean goes on to add bluntly. “Trying to play the hero so he can get close to Anya. To her father.”
Historia stands beside you and she frowns at Jean sternly, disturbed by his accusation. “We don’t know that yet.” Her voice softens as she eyes the harmless looking boy in front of them. “You seem to forget not all people run on an agenda.”
Connie scoffs. “So what? Is he just some unlucky lad who found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time?”
“If he weren’t such a newcomer I’d buy that,” Mikasa admits, “but there’s nothing on him we can go by to confirm he doesn’t have some ulterior motive up his sleeve.” She flicks her eyes over to your stealthiest of spies across the room. “Sasha would need to dig deeper into him to be sure — if he is to remain alive.”
Sasha glances curiously down at Eren. “I don’t know,” she begins to say, sounding none too convinced by his demeanor to consider him a potential threat. “Anya does have a way with men. They’ll seem to do anything for her, as long as it’ll win them her attention. Whether they love her or fear her appears to make no difference.”
“Regardless of his intentions,” comes Armin’s voice of reason, “he saved Anya from the hit. She’s alive because of him.”
The muscles along Jean’s jaw twitch, still sulking over the fact that he hadn’t been the one to save you. “All the more reason why he shouldn’t be trusted,” he points out bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest.
“No one is saying to trust him, Jean,” Armin clarifies. “But we can’t just dispose of him either. Not after everyone in the pub saw what happened. The townspeople know how well her father rewards those who serve him faithfully. If people find out she killed off the person who saved her, House Ymir’s reputation as protector of its town, of its people, will be the one taking the hit.”
You note the tension in Armin’s muscles. At the feeling of uneasiness in the room. Your cadre are on edge. You nearly died on their watch, despite you not giving them the chance to protect you as well as they could have, given your rash behavior this morning. They hate that they’re in this situation, that they don’t know what to make of the boy who saved your life.
In that sense, you’re right there with them.
The most plausible situation here is that Eren is being used as a pawn by one of your enemies, as a spy or assassin—pretty faces like his can get away with just about anything. No one would question them. But what has you most vexed is whether he had been sent in as a means of diversion. To distract you while your enemies concocted an attack behind your back.
You narrow your eyes at your so-called savior. Was Eren someone capable of following along with such a ploy? Could his behavior at the pub all just been a ruse? To get to you? To your family?
Your chest tightens at the thought.
If only you were certain. It would make it easier to kill him.
You force yourself to stand upright. “My guardian angel has been out long enough,” you drawl out, unable to prolong this any further. You signal for Connie to wake him up. “Let’s just hope Jean hasn’t given him a concussion.”
Connie laughs, pointing at Jean behind him as he makes a grab for Eren. “What, horse-face? With his punches? Doubt it."
Jean bristles, ready to pounce.
“Oi,” you shush at them halfheartedly. “Play nicely.”
They settle down as soon as Connie’s rough handling begins to stir Eren awake.
You watch with a cold, hard gaze as he slowly comes to his senses, letting out a groan in pain—from the hit to his head, most likely—before panic settles across his features at the sight of you and your cadre, at the ropes restraining him in place, rendering him defenseless.
“What’s going on?” he musters out. “Where am I?”
You ignore the unsteadiness in his voice. It sounds no different than that of your enemies. But it’s the newfound fear in his eyes that makes your jaw clench as he turns to you, picking up rather quickly that you’re the one in command.
The sight of it bothers you, and you don’t know why. Seeing your enemies down on their knees with fear in their eyes, begging for their life, knowing that their fate rests in your hands, is what you live for. You relish every second of it. But Eren looks nothing like your enemies. And you feel no triumph as you stand over him. Only defeat and exhaustion.
Yet your expression conveys none of this as you slide out of your coat for Historia to take, revealing your gun tucked away in your holster under your left arm and the blades strapped to your thighs. You move slowly, calmly. As if you’ve got all the time in the world.
“You’re in the company of killers,” you say plainly, carefully folding the cuff of your sleeves from your white button-up shirt until they’re tucked neatly up your forearms, granting him a full view of your tattoos. Your piercing gaze slides over to him. “But you already knew that, didn’t you.” A statement, not a question. “You can’t possibly be so blind, working at a pub like the Red Rose, and not see how the men you served drinks to were not of the most virtuous kind.”
He gulps, taking you in and finally realizing just how lethal you really are. You see him steal a glimpse to your cadre behind you, to the door behind them. The only exit in the room.
You tsk in dry amusement. “So there is some survival instinct in you, after all,” you surmise. “Good.” You look down at your boots to the small red puddle that has formed from the injury to his head. “There’s enough of your blood on my floor as it is.”
His eyes follow you as you crouch down to his eye level, his body visibly shaking.
“Why am I here?” he whimpers to you quietly for only you to hear, a small bit of hope still glimmering in his eyes, believing he can somehow reason with you. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I just—” His mouth opens and closes, struggling to find the right words to say. “I promise to stay away. Please, just let me go. Please.”
You can’t stand the sound of his begging so you pull out a switchblade from your arsenal to silence him. “If you have nothing to hide,” you say, running your finger over the sharp end of the blade, “then you have nothing to fear.”
He glances nervously at the weapon in your hand as you begin to spin it around near his face. “I’m not hiding anything.”
“Then you won’t mind telling me: what business did you have at the Red Rose?”
He blinks a few times, confused. “What?”
Your eyes do not soften for him as you slowly draw your blade to his neck. He shivers as the cold metal meets his bare skin. You'd stripped him of his shirt when he was first brought in to search him for anything that might give away who he was, but his body had revealed no markings or tattoos pertaining to any of your rival gangs. Unlike your own, his body was free of scars and bruises. There was no part of him that showed any signs of being broken, damaged, or beaten down by the cruelness of the world.
It was mesmerizing. To see how beautiful that looked on a person.
“Tell me who sent you,” you say, sliding your blade slowly from his neck down to his heart with enough pressure for a white line to trace against his skin but not draw blood, “and I might just let you live.”
He shakes his head, his muscles tense at your touch. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit!” Jean exclaims behind you, startling Eren as he takes a menacing step toward him. “You knew where the assassin was stationed. How else would you know when he would take his shot? When to jump in and save Anya. You needed to play the hero so you could—”
“Jean,” you warn, cutting a silencing glare his way. He knew better than to reveal any kind of intel amongst civilians. Especially hostages.
Eren’s emerald green eyes turn to you, beseeching. “Please! I don’t know anything! I swear! You have to believe me!”
Your face remains blank despite his panic as you study him closely in an almost bored manner, easing the pressure of your blade from his chest to trace random patterns delicately across his fair skin instead.
“How much did they offer you?” you bait him on. “Whatever it is, I can double it. All I need is a name.”
He shuts his eyes in anguish, a mixture of frustration and despair in his voice. “No, it’s not like that!” His wide, frantic eyes suddenly snap up at you. “I come from a small village in Shiganshina,” he begins to divulge, desperately rushing to rack up an explanation that will satisfy you. “My mother died when I was young and my father was a doctor, but he contracted a disease from one of his patients a few months ago. When he died—” The abrupt pause and dismal expression clouding over his eyes tells you the pain of his loss is still fresh, but he forces himself to continue anyway. “There was nothing left for me there. I had heard that the Ymir Sector had lots of work and the pay was good as long as we stayed away from…” He trails off, flicking his gaze to you and your cadre in answer.
Your mouth twists into a grimace. The last thing you had wanted to hear was his lousy sob story. You rise to your feet. “Listen, Eren—if that is even your name—”
Eren snaps his neck up at you with wide eyes, pained that you don’t seem to believe him. “Please! I swear—I didn’t lie to you!” he continues to persist. “I didn’t even know who you were until I saw—”
He glances at your forearm, to the centipede tattoo. But before he can say anything else, Sasha turns her head at attention behind you so sharply, you’re forced to revert your attention to the door across the room, to whoever she’s heard approaching. The rest of your cadre stand ready at your side.
A second later the door to the basement is swung open and a slim, but toned, dark-haired young man with an infamous undercut comes striding into the room. He carries an air of authority and intimidation that can only come from years of blood-stained service under your father’s name.
Levi Ackerman, leader of the Ackerman clan.
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faintblueivy · 4 years ago
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So Imagine...
A world where Bruce Wayne died as a child in that alley that day, Martha and Thomas Wayne grieve as normal parents. They DO NOT BECOME BATMAN AND JOKER. 
Nothing ever remains the same after losing their little boy. So, Thomas buries himself in his work and Martha drowns herself in depression and pain. They do therapy and it works a little and life becomes bearable but...not happy.
One day, Alfred badgers the couple to go out and relax a little and buys them tickets for a circus - Haly’s circus. Everything was going nice and dandy and Martha was in awe of this little acrobat as much as the rest of the crowd when suddenly the rope snaps and the boy’s parents fall to their deaths - right in front of him and the gathering. Thomas is quick to jump in to see if he could help them in any way but Martha can see it in his eyes that they are as dead as they can be. 
They return to home with heavy hearts and Martha can’t get the image of the little boy out of her head. His skin was a light shade of bronze but his dark hair and bright cerulean blue eyes reminded her so much of Bruce that her heart wouldn’t rest. So a few days later she uses her connections to know if the child is safe and well cared for, when to her immense horror, she is replied that he was shipped to Gotham Juvie due to the lack of foster homes. She is enraged.
She calls Thomas and Alfred and lets them know about the little acrobat’s situation and declares that she was going to adopt him. They hesitate a little but she is not to be deterred as she goes ahead and brings the little boy home. 
Richard John Grayson - Wayne. Or Dick, as he likes to call himself. 
He is adamant that he wants no parents and Martha is fine because not only that she is old enough to be not his mother but also because no child can ever be her Bruce.
“You can just call me Grandma then.” She tells him.
His eyes are wide but he nods and then smiles and Martha, in a long while, has never felt this happy. 
Her new Grandson, despite losing his parents, is a ray of sunshine with unlimited supply of energy and the cold and empty manor is warm and happy again. 
Dick is a little charmer and even after Thomas and Alfred’s initial reluctance, they immediately fall in love with the boy and one day, when Martha comes down to the morning breakfast, she hears a happy, deep rumble - one she has not heard in many years. Thomas is laughing. 
There on the dining table, seated beside Dick, was Thomas laughing. Her eyes water at the scene and Alfred, who is standing beside her offers her a handkerchief. None of them mention how his own eyes are wet too.
 ...
Dick is sixteen, a brilliant boy in academics as much as they disinterest him but an invincible athlete. Martha has been told time and time again that her grandson is undoubtedly a international level gymnast. But he is a teenager.
And teenagers steal their grandparent’s ‘coolest’ car and rush off into the night. But they don’t come back with a little battered and bruised, homeless kid tucked under their arm.
“He had jacked three tires off your car. When I confronted him, he tried to hit me with a tire iron.” He says, amused, as Thomas tries to convince the child to show him his injuries.
“I didn’t do nothin’! He’s a fuckin’ big boob liar!” They boy screams, his blue green eyes glaring daggers at Dick.
“Language.” Both her and Alfred warn simultaneously.
After hours of struggle, interrogation and fuck you’s, Martha learns that the child’s name is Jason. He is twelve. Mother died form drug overdosing and Dad is a petty henchman of some crime lord. He ran away from multiple foster homes because they are so abusive that the child feels safer on streets. 
Martha goes on a rampage over Gotham’s foster care after that. She did not donate millions of dollars annually for children to feel safer on streets. After of lot of talks and reassurances and promises, Martha acquires her second grandchild.
Jason Peter Todd - Wayne. 
Jason is tiny. Malnourished like Leslie said. But he is sharp, observant and hungry for knowledge. Martha and Alfred joke that Jason is Thomas' soul child. Where Dick had loved activity and movement, Jason liked quiet and stability - Martha thinks that running and fighting for survival on streets every single day does that you. So evenings often found her and Dick in the garden but Thomas and Jason in the library pouring over as many books as they can.
And to nobody's surprise, despite their rocky start, the boys become inseparable. They are outwardly different, with clashing interests and behaviors but Martha can see that they both carry the same cores of light.  
When the morning of Dick’s Parent’s death anniversary comes around, both her and Thomas find Jason on Dick’s bed, arms curled protectively around his big brother. For the first time in so many years, Dick wakes up to warmth surrounding him, not nightmares. 
...
Both her grandsons attend Gotham Academy so when she receives a phone call from the Principal, she is half surprised and half not. When she enters the Principal’s office, both her boys are standing on one side, Jason with his head hung in shame and Dick glaring daggers at the other side. The boy who seems to be injured is being coddled by his mother who is shooting nasty glares at her grandchildren periodically. 
Then she notices another small boy standing beside her boys, trying to melt into the wall.
Tim Drake. The only son of Jack and Janet Drake of Drake Industries.    
She arches a questioning eyebrow at Dick who shakes his head and then she turns to the Principal. 
“What happened here?”
“Glad to see you’re here Mrs. Wayne.” The Principal says, pushing his glasses up his nose, “I regret to inform you that your ward Jason Peter Todd attacked this young man here.” He gestures to the other boy. 
“Madam, Gotham Academy is a prestigious school and we do not encourage physical violence here. Yes, it might have been acceptable from where he came from but it won’t be, here. I hope you give us the right to punish Mr. Todd here appropriately.” 
Martha inwardly bristles at the jab at her grandson and says crisply, “Mr. Wayne.”
“What?”
“He’s not just Todd. He is a Wayne. Please remember that.”
“Principal Sir.” Dick cuts in and Martha is confused because as hyperactive as Dick is, he is a mannerly child and knows better than to cut in a conversation like this but what draws her attention is the chilling tone which Dick almost never uses. Dick continues, “Why don’t you tell our grandmother more of your regrets? Or the prestigious Gotham Academy believes that bullying is acceptable.” 
Martha has been told what she needs to know. 
“Jason?” she calls out to her youngest grandson softly, “What happened?”
Jason is quiet when suddenly Tim Drake moves forward. She can see he is scared the way his hands shake but determination shines in his blue eyes. She likes him.
“I want to say something.”
He narrates the tale of how he was being bullied and how the boy on the other side with his mother threw his science project model away and broke it and physically tried to attack him when Jason stepped in to save him. Martha felt nothing but pride at Jason’s righteous indignation. 
Tim also explained that Jason exercised immense control even after these bullies called him ‘street rat’, but the verbal spar intensified after Dick was insulted for his Romani heritage, but it came to fist fight after Thomas and Martha were insulted, and Bruce’s death was made fun of.
Her gaze snaps to the other three occupants of the room and they are all in various shades of pale. Apparently, the Principal had not done his homework.
“Principal” She says icily, “Yes, I give you the authority to punish Jason appropriately but only when this young man here”, she gestures to the boy who was now cowering behind his mother, “Is dealt with in the same way.”
After threatening the Principal in soft words but harsh tone about not tolerating to having her grandsons bullied the next time, she grabs Jason’s hand to drag him away from these people who don’t deserve his company, when her eyes fall on the little trembling Tim. 
She offers him her hand.
He stares at it, shocked but after an encouraging smile from Dick and a small shove from Jason, he takes it shyly.
And since that day, Tim becomes a member of Martha’s family. The boys stay together so much that even Thomas forgets that Tim is not theirs. 
Tim’s upbringing sends Martha’s grandmother instincts on a haywire and she resents the Drakes for their criminal neglect towards Tim. 
It is rewarding that Tim flourishes in their attention. 
She learns that his hobby is Photography and he is excellent at it. And he is a genius when it comes to science, computers and gadgets. He likes crime thrillers movies and books and often picks them apart with his scarily good knowledge about forensics that leave the rest of the family in awe and slightly disturbed. 
The dam breaks when one day Jason and Dick return back from school telling her that Tim was absent today and they are worried about him. When they later sneak into the Drake mansion in the evening, Thomas receives a frantic call from their oldest grandchild that Tim was burning with fever. Because Thomas is a doctor, they save Tim before anything serious happens.
This time, it is Thomas who sues the Drakes for Tim’s custody after him and Jason had, had enough of ‘Timbo’s shitty parents’.
“Timothy?” Martha brushes his sweat soaked forehead gently. “Would you like to be a member of our family legally?"
Tim is hesitant about this but he admits that he likes Wayne manor much better than he ever liked Drake mansion. He confesses that he loves Jason and Dick as brothers and sees Martha, Thomas and Alfred as his grandparents as well.
The long custody battle ends with both Jack and Janet Drake dying at the hands of two different tragedies, leaving Tim an orphan, but also with a loving family consisting of three grandparents and two brothers by his side. 
Timothy Jackson Drake - Wayne is adopted into the Wayne family as her and Thomas’ third grandson.
...
A year after they adopt Tim, Thomas comes home with a small girl on his side. She is clearly an east Asian in heritage with dark hair and dark eyes and is speech deprived. Thomas is clearly distressed after Cassandra - her name is Cassandra - is safely secured in warm bed in a nice room across Jason’s. He calls her, the three boys and Alfred to his study to explain about the small girl. 
He talks about how Gordon brought the girl to him and after hours of wordless, signed and clumsily sketched on paper conversations with the little girl they were able to determine that Cassandra was hiding from her father who was an assassin and wanted to drag the little girl down the same path before she ran away. The more he talks about the damage and abuse the girl had experienced at the hands on her own father, the more furious Martha becomes. When Thomas’ explanations ends, Jason slams a punch into the wall making a dent but no one has the heart to reprimand him for that. 
The following morning, Martha can see that her three boys have unanimously decided that they are adopting Cassandra as their sister. She is treated like a Princess, and given the nick name ‘Cass’. 
Slowly but surely, Cass learns what it means to love through Dick’s bright kindness, Jason’s quiet protection and Tim’s infinite patience. After her father is finally apprehended, the family celebrates.
Cassandra Wayne, soon after, becomes the beloved Wayne Princess of Gotham. 
Martha and Thomas often accompany their only granddaughter to her speech therapy lessons, so after six months of her adoption, at dinner, she places a kiss on everyone’s forehead - her three brothers and three grandparents, stands at the head of the table and croaks out, slowly, “Thank...thank you.” All of them stare at her flabbergasted, but it appears that she was planning to shock them even more.
“You...Love. Love you...”
The silence that follows her broken but sure words is deafening. Surprisingly it is Tim who breaks it as he scrambles out of his chair and launches himself at Cass, wrapping his arms around her and both Jason and Dick follow him, grabbing both their youngest siblings fiercely.
A quiet sob breaks her out of the trance and she smiles when she watches Thomas furiously wiping his tears from the sleeve of his shirt. The last time he     had cried was at Bruce’s funeral. And Martha is infinitely grateful that this time these are happy tears. 
...
Sometimes Martha wonders what would have happened if Bruce had lived. If these children are her grandchildren then does that mean they are Bruce’s kids? Had Bruce lived, would he have accepted these gaggle of kids that her and Thomas have collected over the years as his own? Would he have kids of his own? 
Her questions are answered when one day she hears a slight commotion in the entrance is surprised to see a young woman with a sword threatening Alfred.
“I want to meet the Master of this house. Let them know immediately.” She demands in an authoritative but silky voice, and Martha suddenly sees the Toddler clutched in her arm. 
“What is it?” Martha speaks as soon as she can when the woman notices her. She looks surprised for a second but immediately schools her features as the baby fusses.
“You’re alive.” She whispers and before any of them could make an indignant comment about her wordings, she says, “It appears that I might have traveled in to the wrong universe.”
Now that is interesting. Martha lives in a world where they are protected by aliens...so, it is certainly worth hearing for. 
Martha offers the young lady an invitation for tea which she accepts. She notices how the woman carries herself with lethal grace and dignity as if she was a Princess but much more. As they sit and Alfred leaves to bring the promised team Martha notices how the woman’s eyes sweep over the place. 
“How may I help you?”
Her voice attracts the attention of the toddler and this time, he is not clutched tightly enough to his mother’s chest to turn his small head and look at her. Martha gasps. Because the child looks too much like Toddler Bruce. But instead of the blue eyes like her son, this child has glowing green ones, like his mother. But still, the resemblance is uncanny. 
“Yes, he is your son’s.” The woman answers the unasked question.
She is explained the existence of Multiverse, and it’s workings and how Bruce survived instead of them in that world, met Talia (the woman’s name is Talia Al Ghul) and had a child but had to leave. Talia mentions the reason she came here was because her son’s life was in danger and Talia’s father wanted to raise her son as an assassin Prince and a tool for him to use. Talia’s solution to protect her son was for her to give her son to the Bruce of this world to raise, since the Bruce of that world had gone missing.   
“I can raise him.” Martha suddenly declares and the woman looks at him shocked. “I will not raise him into a life of violence but I can certainly protect him and give him a happy civilian life.”
Talia looks unsure, hesitant, but says, “I...have been a warrior since the day I can remember. Never once have I ever thought of my son not being a warrior. He was...born to be one.” 
Martha smiles. “He doesn’t have to be one. Yes, his life will be infinitely different than the one you imagined but...he will be well loved and protected. I can assure you of that.”
“Damian.” Talia whispers as he deposits the baby in her arms after a lot of consideration. “His name is Damian.”
She looks at her son tenderly one last time and places a kiss on his forehead and Martha’s heart breaks a little for the young mother. 
“Will you return back for him?” Martha asks as she follows the Talia to the door.
“No.” Talia whispers, her voice strained. “I will not. Any action taken by me is monitored by my father closely. If I return back, then he might know that I have left Damian here and I cannot let that happen. He is yours, forever.”
Martha gives her a sad smile. “You’re a brave and good mother Talia. Thank you for doing what is best for your son.”
She nods, not turning to look at Damian one last time as she leaves the manor grounds, never to return. 
Martha looks at the baby secure in her arms and her lips quirk up into a grin at the sight of two curious green eyes watching her with interest. 
“Welcome to the family, little Damian.”
When she introduces the new addition to the family, Thomas is dumbfounded. Dick is ecstatic at the prospect of having a new baby brother, Jason is secretly pleased, Cass is happiest and Tim looks unsure.
That’s how Damian Wayne - Al Ghul joins the family.
Damian fits in their home spectacularly. After few days of hesitation, like he had with Dick, Thomas takes to Damian quickly. He has an epic competition going on with their eldest grandson to become the baby’s favorite. Damian refuses to sleep without Thomas but his tantrums are only controlled and won over by Dick. Damian loves Jason manhandling him and giggles happily when the older boy throws him in the air or swings him around. Damian loves Cassandra because she knows what he wants before any of them do. And Cass loves to carry her little brother around to watch birds and animals in the manor grounds.
The only person Damian seems to not get along with is Tim and the older boy seems not be fond of him either. Because Damian wants everything Tim does and the older brother has to compromise for Damian every time. But Martha has to bite laughs a lot now a days because almost everytime Damian falls asleep, it is with Tim in vicinity. And she has caught the older boy tenderly covering Damian in his favorite blanket more often than not. Martha thinks that this is kind of cute but keeps her opinion to herself. 
Her little grandson is quite protective of his siblings though. Anytime someone upsets any of his siblings, they are threatened with scowls, growls and even bites and stabbings in extreme cases.
Like last time when Mrs. Park made fun of Cassandra’s  speech impairment, Damian almost bit her finger off. Damian hates one of Dick’s racist colleague (they all do) so much that anytime the man enters his field of vision, the first thing Damian gets his hand on is thrown at the guy’s head. With deadly precision. And last time when Mr. Link had called Jason ‘street rat’ for personally volunteering charity work for poor and homeless, Damian had smeared his juice and drool covered hands on the Man’s thousand dollars suit. And when one time, a reporter had infiltrated a Gala and chased Tim around to ask uncomfortable questions about his parent’s death and the Wayne’s involvement in it, Damian, noticing Tim’s distress had stabbed the reporter with a fork with no hesitation. 
Martha is still not sure if she should encourage or reprimand Damian for that.
...
As she sits on the head of the table with Thomas on her side and Alfred on the other end, she wonders how miraculous it is for her to have all these children in her life. 
Dick is engaged in an animated conversation with Stephanie who was introduced to the family as Tim’s girlfriend. Barbara, the daughter of James Gordon and Dick’s girlfirend/or not was helping Cass pile up food on her plate. Damian and Tim were bickering over something as usual but Jason trying to hide his snickers in guise of drinking water which made Martha sure that the something was Jason’s doing.
These people were her family. The ones she had gained after losing Bruce. She wonders, if there was a universe where Bruce got to meet her grandchildren. 
Would he accept them? As family? 
Would he love them? As family? 
She brightly smiles when the multiple sets of eyes turn to her waiting for her to blow the candle.
“Happy Birthday Martha.”
Thomas says warmly, his voice thick with emotion and she meets his gaze and sees the love, affection and thankfulness in his eyes for this family that they had created after their earth shattering loss. She knows what she wants as she blows the candle on the cake flickering in front of her.
I wish for us to be family in every universe.
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Text
Lunch break
Pairing: Idol!Jungkook x reader
Warnings: NONE WHATSOEVER
A/n: My first Jungkook drabble yayyy. Send drabble requests with members’ names, if you’d like me to write somemore fluff, it’s been so long since I wrote fluff, it’s getting rusty. 
Author’s masterlist~
The gathering was joyful, but the boys were in a hurry. The alarming amount of tupperware that you had brought to the Hybe building was all set on the table in one of their common rooms, and you were glad to see most of it had been devoured. 
You loved cooking. It was therapeutic for you. And one thing that you loved even more than cooking to some soft music, was feeding your lovely boyfriend and his six older brothers. Boys who appreciated food were so much more handsome in your eyes. Now, pair that sexy quality with the seven most attractive men in the world, and the mere thought of watching them all happily devour something that you spent so much time and effort over, made you feel all warm and loved.
And the cherry on top of it, you realized as you fondly looked to your right, was the tiny little frown that sat on your man’s brow, as he glared at the food in his chopsticks, aggressively chewing what was already in his mouth. Jungkook was absolutely adorable. 
He felt your gaze on him and looked at you, his nose almost immediately crinkling as he smiled widely at you, making sure you knew how much he appreciated your efforts. He’d be much more vocal about it, had you both been at home, but you knew he tended to be just a little bit shy, when he was in the presence of his members. You didn’t mind, in fact you found it very endearing. 
You smiled back at him, resting your hand on his muscular thigh, relishing the silent happy company, when you noticed a chopstick dancing in front of you. You laughed as you realized Jungkook was trying to feed you a piece of meat off his own plate. You gladly took the bite, relishing the rich taste it brought. Food and Jungkook were two of your biggest weaknesses. But also your greatest joys.
Namjoon’s phone buzzed and he looked down at the screen, his eyes widening. Looking at you apologetically, he announced that their stage director had called and was probably reminding them to be on time to their stage rehearsal, which would begin in about an hour. Jimin cleared his throat as he rose to grab one of the water bottles sitting in the middle of the table and reminded everyone gently that they had to get their hair and makeup done still. 
Jungkook frowned, and this time it wasn’t a frown because of how good the food was. You patted the thigh your hand rested on, smiling at him reassuringly, non-verbally trying to tell him not to be so grumpy about his schedule. After all, you had seen first hand, the happiness he’d be doused in when all his hard work paid off. 
Soon enough, all of them were full and were one by one pushing their chairs back to stand up and stretch. “Thank you for the food y/n-ie” Taehyung rose and patted your head fondly.  Presently only Jungkook and Yoongi sat at the table. Yoongi was busy answering an email probably, since he had his work face on, and Jungkook was still finishing his food. You knew Yoongi was waiting for Jungkook, since it was an unspoken rule among the boys that no one was left behind alone. Little things like these made you all the more fond of all of them, and proud that the man you loved had grown up in such a nurturing environment and was so well cared for. Even if that meant he could be a royal pain in the ass sometimes, because he was so spoilt. 
As expected, as soon as Jungkook was done and made to grab a water bottle, Yoongi rose and headed to the door throwing a casual, “I’ll wait for you outside Junggua.” over his shoulder.
Jungkook nodded, eyes wide out of habit as he drank his water. You were only admiring him as usual. How his eyes were wide and childlike in the most mundane of things, and how his entire aesthetic was the exact opposite of the fluff ball he really was. But apparently your fond gaze confused him and he shrugged in your direction. Breaking into a gentle laugh, you rose, collecting all the plates in a neat pile so that the staff wouldn’t have as much of a hassle cleaning up later. But you were a little shocked as a rough tattooed hand began handing you plates that were on the farther end of the table.
“Babe, rush out already!” you scolded him, refusing to acknowledge that instead of rushing off to his schedule after a temporary respite, Jungkook was right here, helping you clean up.
“5 more minutes won’t hurt.” he shrugged.
“No way... you’re not getting late on my accord. You’ll get me in trouble with your company I swear.” you giggled. 
And as you looked up, you saw him running over to you, mouth curved into a mischievous little laugh, and before you could even plant yourself a little firmer on the round, Jungkook had crashed straight into you, sweeping you off your feet as you squealed, utterly delighted and slightly shocked.
Out of habit, your legs pushed you off the ground and wrapped themselves around his waist, holding him tightly. Your scream had turned into a laugh and you instinctively pulled him closer, scared you’d tumble back. He comfortably held you, easily engulfing in his strong arms that rested behind your thighs, holding you up. He loved that. And you loved how absolutely tiny and protected you felt when he’d hold you. 
He nuzzled his nose into the hollow of your neck. “Come to the rehearsal with us?” he asked. “No... I’ll head home now. I’ve already distracted you long enough.” you answered truthfully, still thinking about poor Yoongi who had somehow been left to babysit this man-baby that was ironically being both loving and demanding.  “Fine, then I’ll stay.” he giggled.
“Jungkookie, you love being scolded don’t you?” you countered. It was moments like these, hasty rendezvous stolen from his occupied day that made you fall in love more and more. You were smitten. And you could proudly say, so was Jungkook.
“Like I said, 5 more minutes won’t hurt anybody.” he said decidedly, leaning both of you against the wall and capturing your lips in a sweet kiss.
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atolua · 2 years ago
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𖥻  AND THEY WERE ROOMIES ˒ 𝐞𝐭𝐚.  spring  of  2019  
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EDITION .. and this is how mingi met his roommate (platonic edition)
FEATURING .. song mingi
CW(S) ..  lua’s too cute for this world  &  mingi calls her lulu because yes
MONA SAYS .. sorry for the lack of updates, i swear i’m getting back into writing for lua!
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all mingi needed was a glass of water.
it's his fault, really. after rolling around on his bead, and quietly counting the sheep that jump over his head, did he really expect to feel drowsy? yes, he did.
from what he assumed, he was the only resident who had yet to fall asleep, so being stealthy was the main priority. author is pretty sure that doesn't mean that he has to act like he's auditioning for mission impossible.. but whatever gets him water, she guesses.
perhaps he should be given some credit, since he did successfully make it down the hallway. and he didn't bump into the tv stand, so this is a piece of—
thum.
mingi's attention turns to the sofa. having been so focused on his path, he didn't notice the bundled figure lying there. when he tilts his gaze a little lower, he notices what may have caused the barely audible thud—a stuffed toy sitting on the floor.
ah, it's just san. (that's what he thought.)
temporarily diverting from his mission, mingi carefully pads over to the sofa and picks up the fallen plushie. he decides to try and wedge it back into its owner's arms, until he has another realization: this isn't san.
this sleeping beauty's a bit shorter, and their facial features are softer. it can't be him. and he's right, it's not san. actually, this is none other than yuehua.
okay, now mingi is a little confused. as far as he was aware, the company had given his relatively new teammate her own bedroom. so why is she here, sleeping on the couch? even more, how is she sleeping so comfortably when her blanket is a thin shield from the cold atmosphere?
forget his original mission, he now had to make sure this sleeping beauty rests properly.
he decided to gently shake her shoulder until she roused from her sleep, enough for her to realize someone was trying to wake her up.
“is it morning already?”
“no,” he kneels down so they were eye to eye. “though, you do need to return to your bed so you can rest better.”
“but i like it here. it's where i can easily fall asleep, knowing that i'm close to you guys.”
whether she meant to admit that aloud or not, mingi didn't know. what he did know he was admired his elder even more than before. yuehua rarely spoke up about her wishes, especially if it seemed burdensome. so she laid them in the depths of her mind, and carried on like they had never been there.
mingi gently takes a locket of her silver hair and twirls it around his finger. he has to think—what can he do for yuehua? he wants to get her to a place where she can stay warm while replenishing her energy; she wants to be in a reachable distance with him and the other members. both of them have their own wish, so how do they meet in the middle?
an amazing idea formulates in his head.
“lulu,” he waits for her hum before continuing, “come sleep in my room. i've got an extra bed there, and no roommate to occupy it.”
“really?” yuehua asks, the drowsiness tinting her tone with a subtle shade of huskiness.
he nods and stands up, gesturing for her to follow him. without much more thought, she did as shown, and ends up falling face first onto the bed that had been promised. needless to say, she was back in the dreamland with no effort required.
on the other hand, mingi shuffles back into his bed and pulls his duvet to his chin, fully expecting to play another round of roly poly or count the stars in the milky way. plot twist: he shuts his eyes and swiftly drifts off into a peaceful slumber.
it's funny, the way mingi thought all he needed was a glass of water. instead, he returned to his room with a lovely human bean who doubled as an amazing roommate.
getting out of bed was so worth it.
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❑ TAGLIST  ..     @stealanity​
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sunflowervolvimp3 · 5 years ago
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changes (best friend!harry)
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Warnings: language, nsfw content, drugs (marijuana) and alcohol
Pairing: best friend!Harry x reader
Word Count: 17k (holy shit)
A/N: So this started as two requests I had in my inbox that I got way too into and then it became this. this may be the longest stand-alone fic I’ve ever written, and it, like watermelon sugar, is dedicated to touching!!!! I spent so long on this so as always. feedback is appreciated. and if you like it, please reblog it!!! reblogging is the best way to show fic writers your appreciation <3
{masterlist}
Unless she’s reminded otherwise, Y/N always thinks of herself as a teenager.
This, of course, isn’t true. She turned twenty-six a month ago, works as a media producer for an online clothing company, and lives alone in a one bedroom apartment in London.  However, unless she physically has something in front of her to remind her of her real age and the passing of time, Y/N disregards this information.
Usually, the reminder is a bill in the mail, or a phone call to remind her that she needs to book an appointment with her doctor.  Usually, the reminder is an ache in her back, her glasses prescription getting worse, or realizing that she has no idea what her teenage cousins are talking about when she sees them at Christmas.  Usually, the reminder is enough to give her pause, but not enough to throw her for a loop.
This time, however, the reminder is her childhood best friend naked in her bathroom.
Y/N and Harry had been friends since they were in primary school, after Y/N had moved to London with her mother.  Their new house just happened to be next to Harry’s, and Anne and Y/N’s mother had quickly hit it off.  Anne had been quick to volunteer her son to be Y/N’s tour guide at school, and despite not being enthusiastic about each other in the beginning, the two began to grow closer by the end of Y/N’s first week there.  Within a month, the two were inseparable, and that didn’t change as they entered their teen years, started secondary school, and Harry left London to become a member of the most famous boyband in the world.  Just typical teen things.
However, despite their distance, Y/N and Harry had remained as close as ever.  They constantly texted, called, and video chatted with each other, and Y/N even joined Harry on tour a few times (with permission from her mother).  Although both of them had been worried when Harry left, their worries and fears never came to fruition.  Just as they balanced each other in personality, they balanced each other in lifestyle—when Y/N needed a break from high school and university, Harry brought her to shows, award ceremonies, and parties, and when Harry felt like his fame was overwhelming, Y/N sent him reminders of home, hosted countless movie nights for him, and told him story after story of university life.
They were so perfectly matched that, when they were younger, many people—and tabloids—suspected that they were dating.  Even their mothers had asked them, on occasion, if one of them had any interest in the other.  However, their answers were always the same.  Y/N and Harry were best friends, and nothing more.  Sure, they were touchy, affectionate, called each other pet names, and had even kissed on a few occasions during truth or dare at parties, but none of it actually meant anything.  Y/N had watched Harry grow from a cute kid to an awkward teen to a self-assured man, and her feelings for him had never changed, and an attraction to him had never developed.
Until now.
Harry’s facing away from her, his towel in his hand as he dries his chest.  His entire body glistens with water from the shower.  Y/N can’t stop herself from letting her eyes canvas over every inch of his smooth arms, toned back, down lower to his—
Her breath catches in her throat.  Yeah. His ass is toned, too, she thinks to herself, and only has another moment to think that she shouldn’t be looking before Harry glances over his shoulder, alarmed by the small sound she had made.
“Y/N—” His eyes widen a bit, but he doesn’t make an effort to cover himself with his towel very quickly.
Her eyes automatically follow his movement for a moment before she realizes what she’s about to see. “Sorry!” Y/N turns around quickly, her face heated. “Sorry, I—the door was unlocked, I didn’t realize you were—”
“It’s fine.” Harry fixes his towel around his waist. “Don’t worry about—”
Y/N leaves the bathroom before he can finish his sentence, walking to her bedroom quickly and shutting the door tightly behind her.
Harry, it seems, is today’s reminder that she’s no longer a teenager, because his body is that of a man.
It’s not like you haven’t seen him shirtless before, she tells herself, walking to her dresser to pick out a change of clothes.  Y/N’s seen him half naked countless times.  The whole world has seen Harry half naked countless times.  But she’s never seen him like that.
When did Harry grow up? Somehow, between movie nights and pool parties and going away to school, Y/N had failed to notice that her childhood best friend is no longer a child.  Harry had grown into his features, developed muscles in his arms and chest, tattooed designs all over his skin, and had become an incredibly attractive adult without her noticing.
Y/N pulls her pajamas off quickly, stopping to glance at herself in her full length mirror.  She, like Harry, is also no longer a child. She had grown into her features like he had, had gotten a few tattoos, made her share of mistakes, and became an adult the same way he did.  Neither her nor Harry’s growth had happened overnight.
As she runs her hand between her chest, down her stomach, brushing her hip, Y/N can’t help but wonder: has Harry noticed that they’ve grown up?  Does he still look at her and see the shy little girl, the developing teenager, or does he look at her and see a grown woman?  Is she the only one who’s been late to the party?
Y/N feels a flutter in the pit of her stomach.  Is it possible that, at some point, Harry looked at her and had the same realization that she had a moment ago?  That not only had she grown into a woman, but that she had grown into an attractive woman?
The sound of the bathroom door opening distracts Y/N from her thoughts, and she hurries to finish getting dressed.  Her shirt, she finds when she pulls it on, smells a bit like Harry’s cologne, as she had set it on the side of the bed that he slept on the night before.  She likes it more than she should.
After she’s dressed, she debates just staying in her bedroom to avoid facing Harry again for a bit longer. However, she can hear him working her coffee maker in the kitchen, and knows she can’t hide in her bedroom like a child.  She isn’t a child.
Neither is he, she thinks to herself as she touches her bedroom doorknob. Which is the problem.
Still, Y/N shakes herself from her thoughts and walks out to her kitchen.
Harry, now dressed in wide leg jeans and a plain white t-shirt, is leaning against her kitchen counter, a cup of coffee in his hand.  His hair is still wet from his shower, but other than that, he looks normal. Completely normal.
And yet, Y/N can’t manage to meet his eyes.
“Good morning.” Harry’s voice is low, a bit of amusement in it as he notices her demeanor. “How did you sleep?”
“Fine.” Y/N hates how tight her voice is as she grabs a mug from the kitchen cabinet. “I slept fine. Did you?”
Harry nods, his eyes still tracing her every move as her own eyes avoid him. “I did.  Woke up a bit early, though.  Thought I’d shower before brunch.”
Right.  Brunch.  They’re having brunch that day with a few old friends, at a place just down the street from Y/N’s apartment, which is why Harry had stayed over the night before.  Y/N was going to have to act normal around their other friends, which means she can’t avoid looking at him for much longer.
“I’m sorry.” She says as she pours a cup of coffee. “I am, I—I should’ve knocked.  I forgot you slept over, and—”
“It’s fine, Y/N.  I should’ve locked the door.” Harry says easily, the corner of his lips tugging up. “It’s not a big deal.  Besides, it’s not like you haven’t seen me naked before.”
At that comment, Y/N pauses. “Except…I haven’t seen you naked before?”
Harry shakes his head adamantly. “No.  You have. There’s no way we’ve been friends for almost twenty years, and you haven’t.”
“Harry, believe me. I’ve seen you in a lot of weird positions over the years, but I’ve never seen you completely nude.” Y/N feels her regular ease with him begin to return, just a little bit. “I would remember that.”
“Would you?” Harry cocks an eyebrow, his coffee cup half raised to his lips.
The bit of ease that returned disappears immediately. “I—” Y/N’s cheeks heat up again. “Shut up, you know what I meant.”
Harry tries to hide his laugh behind his coffee, but fails. “I’m just teasing you, love.  It’s fine, promise.  I don’t mind that you saw.  I’m very comfortable in my body.”
Y/N rolls her eyes. “Too comfortable, I think.”
“Is there such a thing as being too comfortable in your body?” Harry asks in a teasing voice, crossing his arms.
“When your best friend walks in on you naked and you don’t bother to cover yourself?” Despite the blush on her cheeks, Y/N manages to laugh. “Yes.  There is.”
“I don’t know…” Harry finishes his coffee and sets the mug in the kitchen sink. “It sounds like there’s issues with your comfort, not mine.”
Before Y/N can form a reply, Harry shoots her a smirk and walks out of the kitchen.
For the rest of the day, Y/N does her best not to think about that morning’s awkward encounter. Brunch with her friends is normal, and she just lets herself enjoy having Harry home, and catching up with everyone.  The afternoon also passes in an unremarkable way, as does that night.  Over the next few days, however, things begin to change.
Within two weeks, the atmosphere of the country has shifted.  There’s a virus that’s highly contagious and can be fatal, Y/N’s work tells her to work from home, and soon the entire country is being told to stay home to avoid catching Coronavirus.
And then Harry texts her two days later, without any warning or leeway for her to disagree.
I’m on the last flight back to London.  Pack a bag and bring some groceries to my place, so we can isolate together.  You’ll go crazy alone in your flat.
Y/N tries to reply that it’s not necessary, but her message doesn’t go through.  Harry’s already on the plane.  So she does what he says, and packs a bag of clothes, her work bag, some alcohol, and her favourite snacks, and drives over to his house.
Letting herself in with her key, Y/N begins to bring the house back to life.  She lights Harry’s candles and orders some dinner, as well as groceries for the next couple weeks.  She makes sure she gets his favourite foods, and the weird snacks that only he likes.  She calls her mum to tell her she’ll be with Harry, and Anne, to tell her the same thing. And then she waits.
When Harry finally walks through the front door, he looks more like the tired seventeen year old on his first tour than the grown man she had seen a few weeks ago.  The bags under his eyes are evidence of his jetlag and stress, his jacket is rumpled from the plane, his hair just as messy, and he looks like he could collapse the second the door closes behind him.
“H.” Y/N walks towards him and gives him a tight hug.  One hand goes to his back and the other to his hair, playing with it as she always does. “Are you alright?”
“Long flight.” Harry mutters in reply, eyes closed as he holds her tight. “Everyone’s going insane in the States.  I’m lucky I got a flight back to London.”
“Why did you?” Y/N pulls back, brushing his messy hair from his eyes. “You could’ve stayed in LA.”
“Yeah, but…” Harry shrugs a bit. “I knew you’d be alone.  And I wanted to be with you.”
Y/N can’t help the soft smile that creeps onto her face. “C’mon.  I have dinner ready.”
Harry barely makes it through dinner with his eyes open, but still insists on watching a movie after. Y/N tries to tell him that he should just go to sleep, but he won’t hear it.
“We can watch it in my bed, like we used to when we were little.” Harry gives her his best puppy dog eyes. “Please?”
Y/N shoves his shoulder. “You’re twenty-six.  Stop pouting to get what you want.”
“I’ll stop pouting when it stops working.”
Y/N laughs in spite of herself. “Fine, but shower first.  You smell like a plane.”
Of course, as predicted, Harry starts to drift to sleep within the first half hour of the movie. He slips down in the bed more and more, until his head is in Y/N’s lap completely.  Out of habit, Y/N begins to play with his damp curls, running her fingers through them at a steady pace as she watches the movie.
Harry’s breathing begins to even out as she does, and Y/N begins to pay more attention to him than the TV.  When they spend the night with each other, Y/N always falls asleep first.  It’s rare she gets to see him completely relaxed.
As much as she loves his green eyes, his eyelashes may be a close second.  They’re so long and dark that they almost make Y/N jealous.  And his cheeks…she brings one hand up to gently touch them.  They’re stubbled from his long day of travel, but the skin underneath feels soft. Despite having lost his baby fat years ago, there’s still a layer of tenderness in his body.
Y/N is so distracted by him that she doesn’t realize that she’s stopped playing with his hair, not until Harry speaks up.
“Why’d you stop?” His voice is groggy with exhaustion, lower, with a thicker accent.  His words slur together as well
“Hm?” Y/N hums in her throat in response. “I thought you were asleep.”
“Not really.” Harry’s eyes stay closed as he shifts his position a bit. “Will you play with my hair a bit longer?  Feels nice.”
The movie credits roll in the background as Y/N does what he says.  Harry sighs contently, relaxing back into her again.
Y/N turns the TV off, so the only light in the room comes from the moon through the open curtains. It shines over half of Harry’s face, catching the ends of his eyelashes.  Somehow, the moonlight makes his cheeks and lips even more pink.  
“You’re really pretty, y’know that?” Y/N says it absentmindedly, her fingers still combing through Harry’s curls.
“Thanks.” He has just enough energy to mumble a response. “’M, not as pretty as you, though.”
Y/N’s stomach flutters when he says it, so quiet that she’s not even certain she heard him correctly. “Liar.”
“’S true.” Harry’s reply is even less audible than before. “So pretty.”
If Harry was awake and more present in the conversation, Y/N might tease him.  She might try to make him blush, or roll his eyes, or laugh. Maybe, just maybe, she’d even ask him to elaborate, just enough that she could figure out what the fluttering in her stomach means.
But Harry is hardly awake right now.  And it wouldn’t be fair.
“Go to sleep, H,” is all Y/N says, shifting to lay down a bit more without pausing the movement of her fingers.
It takes Harry a few days to readjust to London time.  While Y/N spends her weekdays working from the kitchen table, Harry naps and fiddles with his guitar and journal.  While she can tell he’s working on something, Y/N can also tell that he’s not making much process.
A week after coming back from LA, Harry half stomps into the kitchen during the afternoon, frustration clear on his face as he opens the fridge and grabs an apple.  He bites into it angrily and leans against the counter, the irritation still on his face.
Y/N glances at him from behind her laptop. “Everything alright?”
Harry gives half a shrug. “Trying to write.”
“And how’s that going?”
“Fucking sucks.” Harry takes another bite of the apple. “I thought I’d feel more inspired, being at home and not having deadlines, but I can’t get anything out.  Not anything good, anyways.”
“I know the feeling.” Y/N sighs as she closes her laptop. “There’s been a huge surge in online orders, and my boss wants me to create more promo material, but it’s hard to focus on anything right now.”
Harry nods and glances out the window. “Doesn’t help that it’s a beautiful day, but we can’t go out.”
“We can go out.  We just can’t leave the property.” Y/N replies. “You have a giant backyard.  Why don’t you use it?”
“Yeah.  Maybe I’ll go for a swim.” Harry takes another bite of his apple. “You want to come?”
Y/N laughs a bit. “Unlike you, H, I have a real nine to five job.  I’m on the clock for another two hours.”
“After, then.” Harry tosses his apple core in the compost and gives her a grin. “I hope you packed that yellow bikini.”
Y/N crumples a piece of scrap paper in her hand and throws it at him. “Piss off.”
Y/N did, in fact, pack her yellow bikini.  However, when she’s changing from her clothes into a swimsuit, she chooses her blue bikini instead, just to have a bit of agency.  Every instinct in her is telling her to wear what Harry said to, and it’s a little concerning.  She’s never cared about dressing for him before, and she isn’t prepared to start.
Despite the different colour, Harry still grins from the edge of the pool when he sees her walk out. “Look at you.  Should’ve put you in the Watermelon Sugar music video.”
“Shut up.” Y/N sits on the edge of the pool, dangling her lets in the water.  Harry rests his head on his arms, his cheeky grin still on his face as he looks up at her.
“I’m serious.” He says innocently. “It was a fun day.  You really would’ve liked it.”
“Of course you thought it was fun; you had a bunch of beautiful girls fawning over you and feeding you fruit.” Y/N rolls her eyes from behind her sunglasses. “You’re such a narcissist.”
“All musicians are narcissists, love.  At least, the best ones are.” Harry’s grin grows as he pushes away from the ledge. “Are you going to just sit there and look pretty, or are you actually going to swim?”
“I’m going to tan.” Y/N leans her head back, enjoying the feeling of the warm sun.
Harry shakes his head. “No, sorry.  The pool is for swimming only.”
“Says who?”
“Says me.”
In hindsight, Y/N should’ve known what Harry was about to do.  She’s been friends with him long enough that she knows how his brain works. However, Y/N is enjoying the sun so much that she lets her guard down for one moment, and that one moment is all Harry needs.
She feels his hands grip her legs, and before she can stop him, he pulls her into the pool.  Her entire body submerges, and when she finally rises, gasping for air, the only thing she can hear is Harry’s snickering.
“You’re such an ass!” Y/N hits his shoulder hard, not caring about leaving a mark on him. “That’s not funny!”
“The pool is for swimming only.  I told you.” Harry can’t stop laughing long enough to make it through his sentence clearly. “Them’s the rules.”
“Them’s the rules.” Y/N repeats in a mocking voice, hitting him one more time. “You’re the worst.”
“Maybe, but you’re stuck with me.” Harry runs a hand through his wet hair. “At least until quarantine is done.”
“I should’ve stayed alone in my apartment.” Y/N mutters, tossing her wet sunglasses on the pool ledge. “Would’ve been so much more peaceful.”
“And boring.” Harry points out. “And you wouldn’t get to take relaxing swims like this!”
“Right.  Relaxing.” Y/N splashes him playfully. “Jerk.”
Harry just grins at you.
“Want one?”
Y/N glances at Harry as he packs loose marijuana into a wrapper, concentration clear on his face as he rolls it.
“You learn how to roll those in LA?” Y/N asks, taking a sip of her wine.
Harry chuckles lightly, his skin illuminated by the fire burning in front of them and the moon above them. “Yeah.  I’m not very good, though.  Usually I have somebody else to roll them for me.”
“So high maintenance.”
Another low laugh rolls out of Harry’s mouth. “Ha.  High maintenance.”
Y/N rolls her eyes, but an endearing smile is on her face. “It’s still illegal in the U.K., you know.”
“I doubt the police are going to break social distancing rules to arrest me for it.” Harry’s tongue pokes out of his mouth as he tries his best to roll the joint tightly.
Y/N watches as Harry brings the wrapper to his mouth, licking it lightly.  To her dismay, her attraction to Harry had yet to fade, and spending every moment of the day together wasn’t helping.
“I’m not an eighteen year old girl on your tour bus anymore, Harry.” Y/N raises her wine glass. “I drink red wine now.  I’m sophisticated.”
Harry snorts, his eyes flickering to her before looking back down at the joint. “Sophisticated, right. Like you didn’t do body shots off the bartender at your birthday party this year.”
Y/N’s cheeks burn. “Birthdays don’t count.”
“Neither did tour buses, and neither does my backyard in the middle of a pandemic.” Harry seals the joint as best he can. “You may have a fancy job now, but you’re still my Y/N.”
His Y/N.  That phrase ignites the now familiar flutter in her stomach and, over the last few days, her core.  Something about Harry identifying her as his drives Y/N insane, even if it’s nothing new.
“And what exactly does your Y/N do?” She manages to say after a moment.
“She doesn’t take shit from anyone.  She gets drunk fast and high faster.  She’s always down for a laugh.  And, although she won’t admit it, she has a tendency to make bad decisions that she tries to suppress, but can’t always manage to do so.” Harry sparks his lighter and sticks the joint between his lips, lighting it and puffing it quickly.
“Then you should know that your Y/N can’t have a joint of her own.” Y/N steals the joint from Harry’s lips, taking a few puffs of her own from it before handing it back.
The smoke curls in her lungs, forcing a few coughs from her.
“Alright?” Harry asks, concern in his eyes.
Y/N nods, her hand pressed to her chest like she can stop the burn. “Yeah.  Just haven’t done that in a while.”
“You always cough so much. It would be cute if it wasn’t so bloody concerning.” Harry says casually, lifting the joint to his lips and inhaling.
Y/N watches as he exhales smoke slowly.  She wonders if she looks as attractive as he does when she blows out smoke.
Harry grins at her with just the corner of his mouth, like there’s a secret tugging at the edge of his lips.
Y/N really doubts it.
“Here.” Harry places the joint between her lips. “Inhale slowly.”
Y/N does as he says, doing her best to keep from coughing until the joint and his hand is away from her face.  Her eyes burn a bit, both from the smoke and the oncoming high that’s starting to twist through her body.
“That’s a good girl.” Harry praises her before leaning back, placing the joint back between his own lips. “You’ve gotten better at that.  Thought you were going to pass out the first time we smoked, remember?”
“I remember I almost did.” Y/N giggles to herself as she settles down into the couch more. “I coughed so much that I thought I was going to die on that tour bus.”
“Niall was certain you had.” Harry laughs too, and Y/N known they’re both playing back the same memory. “Wasn’t quite sure how we were going to explain that one to Paul.  Neither was I, honestly.”
“You don’t give me enough credit.” Despite the feeling coming over her, YN still takes another sip of her wine. “I was fine.”
Harry nods as he finishes the joint, setting the butt down into his ash tray. “Still…we had some fun nights on the bus when you were there.”
“That was a fun summer.” Y/N agrees, her eyes fixed on the fire before them. “Lots of good memories.”
As Y/N watches the fire, Harry watches her.  He lets another moment or two pass before speaking again.
“When you were on tour with us that summer…” He rubs his lips absentmindedly. “You and Niall.  Did you two ever…?”
“What?  Fuck?” The weed and the alcohol take away the careful tone of Y/N’s regular speech, leaving honesty and bluntness behind.
Harry laughs once. “I was going to say date, but yeah.  I guess so.”
“We didn’t date. We fooled around a few times.” Y/N shrugs, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “He was fun.  But we both knew it wasn’t anything serious, just something to do while I was on tour with you.”
Harry nods a bit, reaching for his own drink and taking a sip.  Y/N watches the movement with heavy lidded eyes.  His arm muscles flex underneath his tattooed skin when he moves, and the way his fingers wrap around his glass is fascinating to her.
“I figured he would have told you.” Y/N pulls her sweater around her tighter.  Now that the sun has set completely, a chill has appeared. “You guys always talked about girls together.”
“No, he didn’t tell me. And I didn’t ask.” Harry keeps his glass in his hand, looking down at it with an unreadable expression. “I thought you might tell me, but you didn’t, either.”
The substances in Y/N’s system are clouding her mind, but she does her best to focus on Harry’s words. As a way to ground herself, she pulls her sweater away from her body, hoping that the cold air will help.
“I’m sorry.” She says slowly, like it takes all her effort to get the words out. “I didn’t mean to…hurt your feelings.”
“You didn’t.”
“Oh.” Confusion fogs Y/N’s mind. “Then…why is it bothering you?”
“It’s not bothering me.” Harry denies, finishing off his drink. “I was just wondering why.  You usually tell me everything.  You always have.”
Y/N bites her lip. “I don’t tell you about every person I sleep with.”
Harry hums low in the back of his throat, but offers no other response.
After a few minutes, Y/N stands up. “I think I’m going to head to bed.”
Twisting his empty glass around in his hands, Harry nods. “Alright.  I’ll be up in a little bit.”
“You know, you have a guest room.” Y/N pauses, fiddling with the bottom of her sweater.  Her skin feels unsettled, and the fabric against it isn’t helping. “I should probably start using it.  Social distancing, and all that.”
Harry looks up at her, a stubborn look reflecting in his eyes. “No.  I sleep better with you beside me.”
When Harry finally comes up to bed an hour later, Y/N is still awake, eyes closed, with her back away from the door and head toward the wall.  She doesn’t turn over when she hears the door creak open, and instead just listens to the rustling sounds of Harry changing, going to the bathroom, washing his hands, and returning to the bedroom.
Y/N feels his weight on the bed, but doesn’t hear him slide in next to her.  Instead, she does her best to stay completely relaxed when she feels his fingers brush against her hairline, pushing back a few loose strands.
Staying completely relaxed, it turns out, is easier thought than done.  The moment Harry touches her, Y/N feels the nerves in her face burst to life. It’s like electricity, like nothing she’s ever felt before from any previous touches from Harry.  Behind her closed eyes, Y/N feels her head spinning, but she’s certain it must be the weed and the alcohol in her system.
Finally, the sheets are pulled back, and Harry gets under the covers.  He pulls Y/N back against him, and Y/N can feel the hot skin of his chest pressed against her shoulders.  Harry takes a moment to adjust before sighing, almost in content, and then he presses a gentle kiss to the back of her shoulder.
The tender action leaves Y/N speechless.  The action itself isn’t new; they had always been very physically affectionate with each other.  But there’s something about the moment that Y/N can’t quite place a finger on. Perhaps she would be able to if she was sober, or less tired, but with her brain in its current state, the words she needs are lost, and she’s certain she won’t remember the feeling in the morning.
Harry inhales deeply, his nose buried in her hair, and sighs again.  Y/N can feel him relaxing back against her, but his arms stay wrapped around her tightly.  It’s a comforting embrace, and makes it easy for Y/N’s mind to finally quiet and drift off.
“You’re still working?”
Y/N looks up from her laptop to see Harry standing above her, sweaty from his workout.  His hair is tied up in a little ponytail on top of his head, and he has a towel wrapped around his shoulders that he uses to wipe sweat from his face.  His body is literally glistening in the sunlight, and Y/N suddenly finds it very hard to focus on her work.
“I am.” She says finally, closing the lid of her laptop and stretching out on the beach chair. “Or I was. I’m done for today.”
“Good.” Harry sits down on the chair next to her. “I’m going to have a shower, but I was thinking we should try baking something later.”
Y/N raises an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Because I want cupcakes, and homemade are way better than store bought.” Harry says easily, stealing Y/N’s water and taking a gulp from it.
Y/N watches his throat move as he swallows the water, how his Adam’s apple bobs, how he licks his lips when he finally pulls the glass away from his mouth.
Y/N’s own mouth suddenly feels very dry.
“Alright, yeah.” Y/N nods weakly. “We can bake something later.  It’ll be fun.”
“It’ll be fun.” Y/N shakes her head in disbelief. “God, I can’t believe I said that.”
“It was fun!” Harry argues, holding up a red velvet cupcake. “And we did it!”
“And we made a mess.” Y/N gestures to the kitchen around them, which looks like a warzone.  Flour, powdered sugar, and cocoa powder cover every counter surface.  There are broken eggshells on the counter, splatters of batter everywhere, and both Y/N and Harry have dyed red hands from food colouring.
“It could be worse.” Harry shrugs, clearly untroubled. “C’mon.  Try a cupcake.”
Y/N reaches for one, but Harry simply lifts the one in his hand to her mouth.  She locks eyes with him as she takes a bite, the icing smearing across her top lip.
Y/N chews slowly and swallows hard. “Yeah.  They’re good.”
Harry extends a hand, and his finger runs along her lip, collecting the icing.  He pops it into his mouth, sucking for a moment before humming in agreement. “Yeah.  Sweet.”
The cupcakes, it turns out, pair well with watermelon cocktails, and soon Y/N and Harry are sitting on the couch, takeout and cupcakes in front of them and drinks in their hands as they giggle and talk.  They’re intoxicated, but not just from the alcohol in the strong drinks that Harry makes.
“Honestly, working from home isn’t ideal, but it’s not that bad.” Y/N pops a bite of food into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. “Definitely not the worst part of quarantine.”
“Yeah?” Harry leans back on the couch. “What’s the worst part?”
Y/N shrugs. “It sucks being away from people, cooped up inside.”
Harry nods, but his face looks wistful. “I miss sex.”
Y/N laughs, but she nods in agreement as well. “Fuck, I know.  I miss sex so much.”
“It’s nice, you know? A good way to burn some energy…always sleep so well after…” Harry sighs, taking a sip of his drink between his phrases. “I feel like I’m back on a tour bus again, with no one around but my hand.”
A giggle escapes Y/N’s mouth. “How tragic.” She also takes a sip of her drink, and tries to stop herself from making a face.  Harry really does make them strong. “I just miss touching.  I haven’t been this touch starved since I was seventeen.”
Harry makes a scoffing noise in the back of his throat. “We touch.”
“That’s different.” Y/N finishes her drink. “That’s friendly touching.  It’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean, then?” Harry challenges her, a glint in his eyes that Y/N’s come to recognize as a sign of trouble.
She refuses to take the bait. “You know what I meant.”
“I don’t.” Harry says it innocently, and he reaches forward to take her glass from her. “How about I get us some refills while you think of how to say it?”
Y/N lets him take the glass (she loves his drinks, despite how strong they are), but shakes her head. “Stop being an ass.  You know exactly what I meant.”
A low laugh rolls out of Harry as he walks to the built-in bar he has in the lounge.  He begins to recreate the drinks, muddling this, adding a splash of that.  If Harry wasn’t already a rock star, she’d suggest he become a mixologist.
“Maybe I do know what you meant.” Harry shakes the cocktail shaker with ease before straining the liquid out over their glasses, which he’s filled with fresh ice. “But I want to hear you say it.”
Y/N runs a hand through her hair.  She feels warm from the alcohol, and the lit candles around them aren’t helping.  The food and cupcakes sit on the table, all but forgotten in their new conversation. “Say what?”
Harry’s lips pull up in a smirk, but his eyes show something else.  He walks back over and hands her the drink before taking a seat next to her again. “The kind of touching you miss.”
Their fingers touch as Y/N takes the glass from him, and suddenly the warmth of the room feels ten times hotter. “You want me to say it?”
Harry lifts his glass to his lips, but keeps his eyes on her. “I do.”
“I…” Y/N takes a sip of the drink (which is stronger than the one before) and then presses the cold glass to her cheek. “I miss touching.  Intimate touching.  And…being touched intimately.”  
Harry inhales deeply, stretching out his shoulders before responding. “Yeah.  I miss that too.  Holding hands, touching someone’s stomach, chest, legs…having them play with my hair…”
“I play with your hair.” Y/N says defensively, a crease appearing between her eyebrows.
Harry laughs once. “Right, but like you said…that’s different.”
Y/N clears her throat. “Right.”
Harry takes a long sip from his drink. “’S still nice, though.” Harry adds after a moment, licking his lips. “I love when you play with my hair.  You know that.”
Nodding softly, Y/N begins to trail a finger over the rim of her glass.  Whenever she begins to get tipsy, she begins to fidget more, and feel freer in her actions.  And when Y/N glances back at Harry, she can tell he recognizes the sign as well.
“What about you?” He asks, bringing her back from her thoughts. “What do you miss having people do?”
Y/N drinks again, pulling her knees to her chest as she leans against the couch’s armrest. “I miss…having my hair played with, too.  That’s always nice.  I miss having my fingers played with…neck kisses…I like when people, like, rub my arms or thighs, just absentmindedly…” She leans her head against her arm. “Your turn.”
“My turn?” Harry rubs his nose lightly, and Y/N can tell he’s feeling the alcohol, too. “What’s my turn?”
“Tell me what else you like.” Y/N smiles softly, a small laugh just barely bubbling out from her. “We’ve never actually talked about it, H.  Isn’t that strange?”
Harry turns to face her more, pausing to think for a moment. “I suppose we’ve never been specific before, yeah.” He taps his thumb against his H ring. “I like being in control, usually. Telling them what to do, where to touch me…” His eyes get a faraway look in them. “But sometimes it’s nice to give up control.  Have someone else…”
“Decide.” Y/N finishes his sentence for him when he trails off. “Yeah.  I’m more like that, I think.  I usually let someone else decide.  But I like the in-between, too.  Like…both exploring each other.”
“What do you mean?” Harry cocks his head to the side curiously.
Y/N shrugs loosely, her finger still tracing her glass. “’S hard to explain.”
Harry’s voice is low when he replies, almost like he’s somewhere else. “Try.”
“Well…” Y/N takes a drink before setting her glass down. “It’s like…do you remember your first time?”
Harry blinks, surprised at the question, but nods. “Yeah.  I do.”
“And remember how nervous you were?”
“Yeah.”
“And like…” Y/N plays with her fingers as she ponders her next words. “You were nervous, yeah, but there was also this excitement in you.  Kind of like…a breathlessness.  And you looked at the other person and knew they…”
Harry closes his eyes for a moment. “Felt the same.”
“Yeah.” Y/N tucks her hair behind her ears. “And just, like, being comfortable with them, and knowing you could both explore, and ask questions, and you were both together…” Y/N feels heat rise to her cheeks as she trails off. “I don’t know.  I feel like that’s rare, but I—it’s nice.  I like it.”
“Yeah.” Harry rubs his thumb over his lip as he shifts his position on the couch. “It’s nice, yeah. Rare, usually.  But nice.”
“I think it’s rare, because, like—” The alcohol makes it harder for Y/N to gather her thoughts, but also harder to sensor them. “I don’t know, I feel like when I was younger, and hadn’t had sex yet, I took more time with, like, finding the right person? Like I wanted it to be with someone who loved me for the first time, and someone I was comfortable with, and it was. And then after, the love part didn’t matter so much for me.” Y/N glances at Harry, who seems to be hanging on her every word. “Which, like, was fine.  What mattered to me the most was that whoever I had sex with respected me. And they did, so that was…good. But it’s different.” Y/N rubs her arms. “I don’t know if that makes sense…”
“It does.” Harry assures her, placing a light hand on her knee.  He begins to rub small circles. “Keep going.”
“I just think that, like, that in-between, breathless, exploring each other kind of thing…the comfort…that’s rare because it only really happens with someone you love.” Y/N murmurs. “At least, that’s how it is for me.  And I haven’t really been in love much in my life.”
“I’ve been in love probably too much.” Harry admits, his hand still on Y/N’s knee. “Too much to be good for me.”
Y/N shakes her head adamantly. “No, H.  That’s good. That’s…brave.  You’re not afraid of how you feel.  Most people are.”
“Maybe.” Harry finishes his drink again with one long gulp.  
Y/N watches as he does, seeing a little drip of liquid slip from the corner of his mouth.  She can’t stop herself from leaning forward and wiping it away with her thumb, feeling the stubble of Harry’s chin scratch against her.
Harry watches her with hooded eyes as she leans back to her previous position.  His hand slips a bit higher, from her knee to her lower thigh, but she doesn’t say anything.
“Who have you been in love with?” He asks.  His words are slurred a bit, and his accent seems thicker.
“My first boyfriend, Parker. You remember him.” Y/N sighs, closing her eyes as she herself remembers. “And…Christian, from university.  We were together for two years.  That’s it, I think.”
Despite the alcohol, Harry’s face still shows some surprise. “Really?  No one else?  No one since Christian?”
Y/N shrugs. “I’ve dated, yeah, and had relationships, but…I don’t know.  I didn’t love any of them.  I was…infatuated.  But I never…it was intense, but like—intense like a spark.  Nothing prolonged.”
Harry hums in response. “Thought you were going to say Niall for a moment.  He was pretty torn up when you went back to school after that summer.”
Y/N’s face mimics Harry’s surprise from a moment ago. “Was he?”
“Yeah.  Moped around a bit, spent time by himself, on his phone every two minutes…” Harry’s expression shows the difficulty it’s taking him to think back eight years while drunk. “I knew it was because you left.  Thought you two had an…agreement, or something.”
“An agreement?” A giggle escapes Y/N. “This isn’t a Jane Austen book, Harry.  We didn’t have an agreement.” Once she gets her laughter out, she sighs. “He was that upset?”
“Yeah.” Harry scratches the back of his neck. “So I thought…he must be in love with you.  And you were…”
“No, I wasn’t.” Y/N says softly. “He was so upset that you thought he was in love with me?”
“Yeah.”
Y/N bites her lip. “Was he more upset than you?”
Harry takes a moment to reply, looking at her with a serious expression.  His lips are so red, and his eyes are so green, and both of them are so drunk that neither of them can sense the meaning behind what they’re saying.
“No.” Harry finally responds. “He wasn’t.”
“Good morning.”
“Shhh.” Y/N covers her eyes with her arm. “Don’t yell in my ear.”
“I whispered.” Harry counters, but his voice is a bit quieter this time. “Do you have a headache?”
“I didn’t know something flavoured with watermelon could make me feel so shitty.” Y/N groans a bit, shifting on the bed without opening her eyes. “What did you do to me?”
When Harry laughs, it’s not audible, but Y/N can feel it through his chest pressed against her side.
“How are you completely fine right now?” She asks, rubbing her eyes.
“I’m used to it.  I’ve always been way better with hangovers than you.” Harry presses a small kiss to her shoulder before getting up. “How does breakfast in bed sound?”
“Normally amazing, but I can’t eat right now.” Y/N mutters. “How about coffee in bed?”
“Sure.” Harry smiles a bit. “You look cute like this.”
“Shut up.”
Harry returns ten minutes later with a tray of coffee, toast, and eggs, of which he manages to coax Y/N to take a few bites.  She doesn’t really want it, but she knows it’s easier to do as he says instead of arguing.
“How about we have a movie day today?” Harry suggests after breakfast. “In bed, since it seems like you won’t be moving anytime soon.”
“And who’s fault is that?” Y/N glares at him from the top of her coffee cup.
Harry raises his hands in defense. “Hey, I didn’t make you drink.  You chose to.”
“I know, but it’s easier to blame you.”
Harry rolls his eyes. “Is that why you’ve been doing it for twenty years?”
“Exactly.”
Harry carefully lifts the empty tray to the ground before holding up the remote. “You can pick the movies.”
Y/N bites her lip. “If we watch Titanic, will you make fun of me when I cry?”
“Of course not.  I’ll even cry with you out of solidarity.”
“Alright.” Y/N settles back into the blankets. “Put it on, then.”
It’s easy for them to be like this, Y/N thinks, as Harry pulls her into his arms when the movie starts. It’s always been so natural for them to be physical and affectionate with each other.  They’ve never acted any other way.
Except this doesn’t feel like any other way.
Yes, Y/N has watched countless movies while cuddling in bed with Harry.  But has he ever whispered in her ear like that before?  Has he ever rubbed her sides so carefully before? Has he ever let his lips rest on the bare skin of her shoulder, almost at the base of her neck?
Y/N can’t recall. However, she’s certain that if he had, it hasn’t felt so electric.
“Look at them.  Look at how Jack watches her.” Harry murmurs his words directly in Y/N’s ear as they watch Jack draw Rose.  Y/N can feel his lips brushing against her, and the heat of his breath and tone of his voice makes her shiver.
“She’s very pretty.” Y/N nods, shifting in Harry’s arms.  She likes how warm he feels.
“I suppose, but that’s not what I meant.” Harry traces shapes on her arm. “I meant look at how he looks at her.  Do you think they have the kind of love you talked about last night?”
Y/N glances over her shoulder at him, surprised he remembers their conversation. “I think so.  Do you?”
“Yeah.” Harry says in a low voice.  He says no more, so Y/N turns back to face the television.
They continue to watch in silence, gripping each other a bit tighter as the Titanic begins to sink. As they watch a mother reading to her two young children in bed, Y/N begins to lose her composure, like always. Tears well in her eyes, and she lets out a quiet hitched breath, a single sniffle.
“It’s alright, love.” Harry’s hands move to her stomach, holding her tighter to comfort her. “Don’t cry.”
Y/N can hear the tears in his voice, just as they’re in her own. “Can’t help it.  This part and the band and the old couple in bed—they always get me.”
“I know.” Harry rubs his thumb along your side.
Y/N reaches behind her without turning around, threading her fingers through Harry’s messy curls.  She plays with them absentmindedly as she watches, and tries to ignore how right it feels to be close to him like this.  She wonders if he notices it, too.
Harry presses a chaste kiss to her shoulder.
The day they hit the one month mark of quarantine, Harry sits across from Y/N at breakfast with a determined look on his face.
“I have a proposition for you.”
Y/N glances up at him, her attention barely shifting from her book. “A proposition?”
“Yeah.”
“What kind of proposition?” Y/N tilts her head to the side.  What she first thought was just determination on Harry’s face, she realizes, is actually determination and mischief, and she knows it won’t end well.
“I haven’t had a tattoo in a while.” Harry steals a strawberry from Y/N’s plate. “And I have a machine here, so I was thinking you could give me one.”
Y/N stares at Harry incredulously as he pops the strawberry in his mouth. “Are you out of your mind?”
“Probably.”
“I’m a terrible artist, Harry.  You know that.” Y/N shakes her head. “And even if I wasn’t, I have no idea how to tattoo someone!”
“You can watch a YouTube tutorial, or read a WikiHow.” Harry sighs loudly. “I’m so bored in isolation!”
“What do you even want tattooed?” Y/N eyes the intricate tattoos on his arms suspiciously. “I doubt I could do something like your ship.”
“Something simple.” He shrugs. “Probably lettering.”
“Probably?” Y/N says suspiciously.
“That’s why I want you to do it.  I want it in your handwriting.”
Harry’s tone is easy, but it makes her breathing shallow.
“You do?”
“Yeah.  I was thinking of something to remind me of this time, because of how weird it is.”
Despite her increased heartbeat, Y/N laughs. “What, do you want me to tattoo COVID-19 on you?”
“No.  Be a little more creative than that.” Harry scoffs.
“Why do I have to be creative?”
“Because I want you to decide what I get.”
Y/N’s eyes widen. “You’re not serious.”
“I am!  Why is that so hard to believe?” Harry asks. “I trust you. And you’re good with words.”
“No.  Absolutely not.”
“Make sure my drink has two shots in it.” Y/N calls to Harry as she looks over the tattoo supplies on the living room table.
Harry laughs. “I’m not sure I want my tattoo artist to be drunk.”
“The only way I’ll even be your tattoo artist is if I’m drunk.” She counters. “I still think this is an awful idea.”
Harry hands Y/N a tall glass with a light pink liquid in it. “Drink this, and you’ll change your mind.”
Y/N takes the glass and takes a large gulp, not focusing on the taste of the mixers, but the liquid courage behind them.
Harry grins, lifting his own glass. “Cheers.”
“Shut up and sit down.” Y/N mutters.  She ties her hair back before grabbing the disinfectant wipes. “Where do you want this?”
“My upper inner arm. I already shaved it for you.” Harry smirks as he points to the area, which is easily exposed in his loose tank top.
“And you’re sure I can write it with pen?” Y/N asks nervously as she disinfects the area.
“Mhmm.” Harry leans back comfortably in his chair. “What did you decide on?”
“It’s a secret.” Y/N uncaps the pen, getting closer to him.
“So I can’t know until after it’s on me permanently?”
“Is that a problem?” Y/N asks innocently. “I thought you trusted me?”
Harry chuckles. “I did say that, didn’t I?”
“Also that I’m good with words.” Y/N makes sure Harry’s head is turned away before she carefully writes the phrase she chose.  Then she snaps on gloves and starts the machine like she watched in videos early that day.
“You’re fine, love.” Harry assures her, seeing the nervous look on her face. “It’s a small tattoo. It’ll only take a few minutes.”
“Quiet.” Y/N mutters. “I need to focus.”
True to Harry’s word, the small tattoo only takes a few minutes to finish.  When it’s done, Y/N gives it one final wipe before setting the machine down and taking off her gloves.
“Alright.” She picks up her glass and drains it completely. “You can look.”
Harry peers at his arm, curiosity clear on his face.  There, in Y/N’s loopy handwriting is the phrase “touch me.”
“It looks so fucking good, Y/N.” Harry grins at her. “You did amazing!”
“I didn’t fuck it up?” She asks, chewing on her lip anxiously. “Is it alright?”
“You did a lovely job.” Harry smiles. “Wrap it for me?”
Y/N does as he asks, carefully wrapping the fresh tattoo in plastic wrap and taping it to his arm. “I think I’ll accept my tip in the form of another drink.”
Harry snickers. “Coming right up.”
Two drinks later, they’re both back in the honest and loose headspace that they’ve grown familiar with. It’s not enough that they’re unaware of their actions, but both Y/N and Harry know that their lips are looser because of the liquor in their systems.
They’ve migrated to the bedroom to get comfier, but took a few items from the bar with them.  It’s with these items that Harry tops up Y/N’s glass again as he speaks.
“So tell me…” He sets the cocktail shaker on his bedside table. “Why ‘touch me’?”
“You said you wanted something to remind you of isolation.” Y/N takes a long sip of her drink. “And that’s what we both miss the most, right?  Being touched?”
Harry nods slowly, his rings clinking against his glass. “Yeah.  I’m probably going to go straight to the bars after this is all done.  Find someone there.”
He laughs lightly, showing that what he says it half a joke, but Y/N sighs wistfully and shakes her head in disagreement. “I won’t.”
“You won’t?” Harry is surprised, his laughter fading. “Why not?”
Her shrug almost causes her to spill her drink on the bed. “I don’t know.” Y/N sighs again. “I don’t really—I’m not a hookup fan.  Not right now, at least.  It’s not what I…want.”
“What do you want, then?” Harry finishes his drink, but sets the glass down instead of refilling it. “If not sex?”
“I want sex.” Y/N says defensively. “But I want—I don’t want it to be someone random.  I want sex, but I want to be…intimate.  Like, I want to know that person cares about me, and I care about them.”
Harry licks the last of his drink from his lips. “Like that breathless feeling?”
“No.  It would be nice, but no.  That takes time.” Y/N brushes her hair behind her ear. “Just…someone who cares.  I don’t want a quick fuck, I just—”
“You want to be touched. Intimately touched.” Harry takes the empty glass from Y/N’s hand and sets it down on the table next to the bed.
Y/N nods gently, her limbs feeling loose. “Yeah.  Intimately touched.”
“You know, I could…” Harry trails off, pursing his lips. “We could…do that.”
The alcohol makes Y/N slow to recognize the meaning of his words. “What?”
“I’ve noticed you…the way you look at me, it’s…different than it was.” Harry says carefully, his eyes gauging her reaction. “For the last few weeks.  And I—I know that I’m…attracted to you, too.”
“We…” Y/N struggles to think of what to say as she finally registers what’s happening. “We’re friends.”
“I know, but that doesn’t mean I can’t see you as attractive.” Harry looks down at his hands. “Don’t you…?  I mean…”
“I—yeah.  I think you’re—” Y/N laughs a bit nervously. “You’re attractive, H, you know that.  We’ve just never…discussed it.”
“I’m not saying we have to fuck, or—we don’t have to do anything.” Harry straightens his shoulders and looks you in the eye. “Just—when we touch, it’s mild.  If you want to be touched intimately, we could…”
“Like, a hand job?” Y/N says slowly, her words blunt with confusion.
Harry goes a bit red, but he shakes his head quickly. “No, Christ, that’s not what I meant, I—just—can I show you?”
“Um,” Y/N swallows hard. “Sure.”
“Okay.” Harry nods slightly, taking carefully measured breaths. “If this feels weird, or anything seems wrong, just tell me to stop, alright?”
Y/N replies faintly. “Alright.”
Nodding again, Harry moves closer on the bed, sitting on his knees so he can get closer to Y/N, who sits cross-legged.  His hands rest lightly on her bare thighs, and his rings are a cool contrast to his warm skin.
Harry begins to rub his hands up and down her thighs slowly.  His movements are measured, and he watches Y/N’s reaction carefully for a sign of her disliking his actions.  However, what he finds is a nervous but interested girl staring back at him.
“Like this.  Like, what you like.” Harry says lowly.  His hands move more to her inner thighs, but they don’t creep higher. “And…”
“And…?” Y/N asks, her heart rate increasing even more.
Harry moves one hand to the hem of Y/N’s tank top, pushing it up a bit so his hand can rest on her waist. He rubs over her warm skin, marvelling in how smooth and soft it is to his touch.  His fingers graze the lace of her bra, but he goes no higher.
“How—how’s that?” Harry asks quietly.
“It’s, um, it’s good.” Y/N replies as she struggles to keep her voice normal. “Yeah.  Good.  But, um, can you…” Harry’s movements pause at her words, and Y/N feels her cheeks get even warmer. “Maybe touch my, uh, my neck.  If you’d like.”
Harry nods, and the hand on her thigh moves to her neck.  He traces his fingers across her shoulder and over her collarbone, delighting in feeling the curves of her body.  Y/N’s breath hitches when his fingers travel up her neck, and Harry swears he can feel her pulse increase under his fingers.
Y/N’s not sure if it’s the fact that she’s touch starved from self isolating that makes Harry’s touches feel so good, or if it’s the fact that it’s Harry touching her, but she doesn’t dwell on it.  Instead, she closes her eyes and tilts her head back, allowing him better access.
She feels Harry’s breath before she feels his lips, but she’s still surprised when she feels him begin to sponge light kisses across her neck.
“H…”
“Is this alright?” He asks the question right below her ear, and yet she can barely hear him because he’s so quiet.
“Yes.” Y/N breathes. “Yeah.”
“Good.” Harry returns to pressing light kisses to her skin, his hands still rubbing over her sides and hips.
For the first time since seeing Harry naked in her bathroom, Y/N can’t deny or explain away her attraction to him.  She can’t convince herself that she doesn’t want him to touch her, because she does, and she can’t tell herself that she doesn’t need him, because she does. Every fibre of her being is telling her that she needs Harry, and she needs him now.  Her heart is pounding, her skin is on fire, and her core feels like she’d going to explode if he doesn’t do something.  And yet, Y/N can’t tell him to touch her more.  She’s frozen, mind blank, and she can only register what Harry is doing at the moment as what she wants.
Harry continues to kiss her neck, never lingering too long in one spot, never sucking too hard. Every kiss is gentle and chaste, except the few rare ones that include the tip of his tongue running over her skin.
After what feels like an eternity, Harry pulls away from her neck, face flushed.  Despite his hands still on her body, Y/N makes an involuntary sound in the back of her throat.
“Is that better?” He asks lowly, rubbing his thumb against your hip.
“I—kind of.” Y/N says softly.  If anything, she thinks, it’s worse.  She needs to satisfy the burn inside her, but she doesn’t know how.
“Good.” Harry replies, but he doesn’t take his hands off her.
Y/N’s own hands have been sitting at her sides as his moved over her body, but she raises one now, as hesitant as Harry was.  She extends it towards his arm, but pauses with her fingers right over his skin.
“Is it okay if I…?”
The corner of Harry’s lips lifts up, just barely. “Yeah, love.  Go ahead.”
Harry’s skin is warm beneath her touch.  Y/N traces the outline of his mermaid tattoo carefully before moving onto others.  She loves how his arm curves under her touch, how he stays still and lets her explore.  She appreciates it, thinking that if Harry made any sudden movements, she’d force herself to pull away.
Soon, her fingers move from tracing his tattoos to tracing the lines of his muscles.  She moves down his forearm to his hand, running her fingers over the veins that show through his tan skin, over his knuckles, down the tips of his calloused fingers and back.  
Harry sucks in a breath, and Y/N’s trance flickers for a moment as her eyes move to his face to see what’s wrong.
“Sorry, just—surprised me.” Harry says, voice low yet sheepish.  He nods down to his thigh, where Y/N realizes her own hand is resting.
“Oh—” She moves to pull her hand away, but Harry places his own on top.
“It’s fine.” He says quickly. “Keep going.”
Y/N bites her lip as she turns her attention back to his arm.  Her fingers move slowly and carefully back up his forearm to his upper arm. She traces over his tattoos while she rubs her thumb gently against the muscle, and stops her fingers at the edge of his t-shirt sleeve.  With a quick glance at Harry, she pushes the sleeve up, tucking it up on his shoulder so she can run her fingers over his ship tattoo, which is one of her favourites.
“Feels nice.” Harry murmurs, his eyes following her movements.
Y/N glances back at his face, taking in his appearance.  His lips are red from the time he spent kissing her neck, and his cheeks are still flushed.  His eyes are darker than usual, and she’s not certain if it’s the candlelight or something else causing it.  There’s a light sheen of sweat on his forehead, with a few loose curls hanging down. Out of reflex, Y/N reaches up and pushes his hair back out of his eyes.
Before she can return her hand to his arm, Harry captures it in his own.  Y/N watches as he brings it to his lips, inhaling as her wrist passes underneath his nose.  Although she’s not sure why, there’s something about seeing how much smaller her hand is in Harry’s that delights her.
Harry presses a soft kiss to her wrist, following it up with another on her palm.  Y/N’s eyelids flutter at the tender sensation.
“It’s my turn to touch you.” She says softly, her voice strained.
Harry hums in reply. “I know.” He kisses your wrist once more before looking at you. “I’ll help.”
Lifting his hand from his thigh (your hand, which was underneath, stays where it is), he pulls up his shirt just enough that he can sneak your hand underneath.  He rests it on his lower chest, and even though his shirt is still partially covering him, Y/N knows she’s touching his butterfly tattoo.
“I like to be touched here.” Harry says in the same low voice.
“Okay.” Y/N bites her lip, her head swimming with alcohol and the smell of the candles and Harry’s cologne and Harry. “It…would be easier without your shirt.”
Without breaking eye contact, save for the moment fabric covers him, Harry pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the side. “Better?”
Y/N’s eyes drift down to his tanned stomach.  His body is familiar and a stranger to her all at once.  She knows his tattoos, scars, every mark on his skin from a distance, but seeing it like this—touching it like this—makes her feel like she’s never truly seen him before.
“Better.” She manages to say, her hand brushing across his ribs.
Y/N spends a while exploring the planes of his stomach, the contours of his body.  When she gets to his v-lines, and runs her fingers over the ferns tattooed there, Harry shivers a bit, his hand gripping her knee tighter.
Y/N massages his thigh gently. “Alright?”
“Yeah.” Harry clears his throat. “I’m good.”
“Okay.” Y/N nods, but moves her hand further up again, over his chest and over his collar bones.  She takes a moment to trace the lines of his neck, feel the beat if his pulse underneath her fingers, and then tangles her fingers in his hair.  She uses the leverage to tilt his head back a bit, and presses her lips to the base of his neck.
Harry’s cologne smells better up close, and Y/N adores the heat of his skin on her sensitive lips. She presses small kisses over the curve of his neck, pausing over his jugular.  Her tongue darts out and she carefully licks along it before ending the motion with a kiss.
“Christ…” Harry exhales slowly, the tips of his fingers digging into her knee slightly.
Y/N knows they’re crossing the threshold of just touching each other for the sake of touching.  She can feel herself dripping in her panties, and when her eyes flicker down, she can see the outline of Harry’s half hard cock in his shorts.  Together, they’ve reached the border of friends helping each other out, and she’s certain that she wants to cross it with him.  However, she’s not sure if they should.
Pulling back enough to look Harry in the eyes, Y/N clears her throat. “H, we—what are we doing?”
Harry waits a moment to answer. “I…I don’t know.  I have no fucking clue.”
“This isn’t friendly anymore.” Y/N’s voice drops to a whisper. “It’s not just—it’s intimate, yeah, but it’s more…” Her eyes move to the outline of his hardening cock once more before looking back up at his face. “It’s more.”
“Yeah.  It’s more.” Harry moves his hand further up her thigh again, rubbing slow circles. “But I don’t want to stop.”
Y/N sucks in a breath. “You don’t?”
“It’s been so long since…” Harry trails off, his gaze drifting down to your lips before returning to your eyes. “And it’s you.  I’ve always wondered if—we—”
“I’ve wondered, too.” Y/N admits, her voice filled with nerves.  Are they really discussing this? “Especially since that day, in the bathroom—”
“I wondered if you looked then.” Harry’s voice drops lower (which Y/N didn’t think was possible). “I thought about it later that day.  I—fuck, I wanted you to look.”
A small noise escapes the back of Y/N’s throat. “This—we’ve been drinking, and—it’s the alcohol, H. Neither of us is thinking straight.”
“This isn’t the alcohol talking.  I’ve thought about—when we’re in the pool, when we cuddle, when we flirt, I—I can’t help it.” Harry closes his eyes for a brief moment, like he’s collecting himself. “I need you.  And I think…I think you need me too.”
“I do.  I need you.” Y/N touches his stubbled jaw with careful fingers. “But we’re friends.  This is going to change that.”
“We don’t know that.” Harry leans into her touch. “You said before that you wanted someone you’re comfortable with, something intimate, something breathless.  You and I are comfortable, and intimate, and—I don’t know.  All I know for sure is that I want you.”
Y/N isn’t sure if he means he wants her in a purely physical way or something more, and while she knows she should clarify that, all she can focus on is his voice and the way it’s going straight to her core.
“I want you, too.” She says simply.
Harry brings his hand to Y/N’s hip. “Can I kiss you?”
Y/N nods.  She’s not sure she’s capable of giving a verbal response.
Harry takes it upon himself to lean closer, his fingertips digging into Y/N’s skin in a way she adores. He pauses, hovering just above her lips for a moment, as if to give her time to pull away.  Instead, Y/N just waits in anticipation, delighting in the feeling of his breath running over her skin.
When he kisses her, Y/N tastes alcohol, mint, and what she swears is her own heart in the back of her throat.
Any previous kisses she’s shared with Harry have been half kisses, given in teenage games of truth or dare and in a friend’s parent’s basement.  Those kisses were safe, guarded, and an obligation.  This kiss is the exact opposite.
Although it starts chaste, it quickly grows more passionate.  Y/N can’t stop herself from tugging on Harry’s hair more than she imagines Harry can stop himself from rucking up the hem of her tank top.  His fingers dip under the band of her lace bralette as she nips at his lip, tugging slightly, delighted when a strangled sound echoes from the back of his throat.
Within minutes, Y/N’s allowed Harry to pull her to straddle his lap, his hands grabbing at her hips with a neediness she’s never seen him exhibit before.  Of course, she feels the same way, and she lets her hand run down his chest over and over, using her nails a little more each time.  Although there’s no one around to see, no party to return to, nowhere to go, Y/N wants to leave a mark.  She wants anyone who sees his chest to know that he belongs to her.
Harry breaks away from her, lips red, eyes frenzied, and breathing heavy. “Can I—?” His hands tug on the hem of her top, tugging in question.
Y/N lifts her arms in response, letting him pull it off and toss it to the side.  Harry moves back in to kiss her again, but she keeps her arms up, giving him a long look.
“You’re not done.” She says simply.
He understands right away, and his fingers find the band of her bralette again.  This time, however, he removes it slower, almost as if the removal is ritual itself, and his hands are less frantic when they return to your skin.
Harry looks at Y/Nu with wide eyes, and she understands the meaning in them: this is so much more than just touching, and so much more than two friends using each other for mutual pleasure.  With every touch, they further cross a line, and neither of them can stop.  
With this realization, Harry’s movements become more cautious.  His hands come to rest on her sides, his thumbs just brushing the side of her breast.
“You’re fine.” Y/N assures him in a soothing voice. “Keep going.”
“Are you fine?” He counters, his voice an equal mix of concern and need.
“H.” Y/N takes his hands in her own and places them over her breasts. “Like that.  Touch me like that.”
Harry sucks in a short breath as she manipulates his hands, showing him how to rub her and touch her. After a few moments, she lets her hands move to his neck, pulling him in for another kiss.
Y/N begins to grind against him, desperate for a bit of friction.  Their kisses are soon accented with their moans as they each pull the other closer in lust and need.
Still, underneath the physical desires, there’s a current running between them.  Y/N knows it’s been there for the last few weeks, humming quietly in the back of her mind, but being here, now, with Harry touching her, it’s come alive like an electric fence.  She can’t turn it off, and she doesn’t want to.  She doesn’t want to in the slightest.
Harry begins to kiss down her neck like before, but this time his kisses are anything but chaste. When he reaches her breast, he kisses around them before taking one of her nipples into his mouth.
“Oh fuck—” Y/N arches her back, fingers tangling in his hair to pull him closer. “Harry…”
He hums against her, and his spare hand rubs her back like he does when they get ready to sleep.  Usually, the motion is calming, but right now, Y/N feels anything but calm.
Harry continues until he’s satisfied with his work, and then he kisses his way to her other breast, wrapping his lips against her other nipple.  He spends just as much time on that one, letting his teeth graze it ever so slightly before soothing the action with his tongue.
When he pulls back, there’s a little line of spit connecting Harry’s mouth to her nipple, and Y/N whimpers at the sight.
“H…” She runs her finger through the line before gripping his chin with her thumb and forefinger.  The need inside her builds, as does her fondness for the man in front of her. “God…”
Harry tweaks her hard nipple with his finger, gentle enough so as not to hurt her, but enough to make a gasp fall from her mouth.  He offers no response in the form of words, but the hungry look in his eyes has only increased.
“Let me…” Y/N climbs off of his lap, gently pushing him to lay back on the bed. “Yeah?”
Harry runs a hand through his messy curls, nodding quickly. “You want that?”
“Yeah.” Y/N nods too, pressing a wet kiss to his swollen lips. “So bad.  Yeah.”
Her hands move to the waistband of his shorts, and Harry lifts his hips off the bed.  Y/N tugs down his boxers in the same movement, and tosses both articles of clothing to the side before looking back at him.
Harry’s cock is just as beautiful as she remembers it being the morning she accidentally walked in on him. Even more so, she thinks, because now he’s hard, and the head is the most appetizing shade of pink, with drops of precum pearling at the top.  When Y/N wraps her hand around his girth, she adores the heat that she feels.  
“So pretty…” She says the words almost to herself, and strokes him lightly to get used to the feeling of him in her hand. “I just want to…”
Y/N leans down and flicks her tongue over his tip, collecting the precum gathered there.  In return, a strangled moan leaves Harry’s throat as his arm moves to cover his eyes for a moment.
Y/N presses a kiss to the head of his cock before she continues licking, reveling in the sounds Harry makes.  She had no doubt, with a voice as angelic as his, that his moans and whines and whimpers would be just as beautiful.
When she wraps her lips around the head and sucks, she feels Harry’s hand move to her hair.  She looks up at him without lifting off of his cock, staring him in the eye as she takes more and more of him into her mouth.
“Fuck—” Another moan leaves Harry’s lips, more strained than the last. “That’s it…” He tugs on her hair, but doesn’t push her down.  Even when lost in pleasure, he’s careful with her.
Y/N loves him for it.
Pacing herself, she takes more and more of him into her mouth until her nose is pressed to the base of his stomach, brushing against his (neatly trimmed) pubic hair.  She stays down for just a moment before pulling up completely to breathe, but keeps her hand on him, stroking him slowly.
“You look so good.” Harry mutters, running his hands over her hair in a soothing motion. “I imagined it, but didn’t think…so much better…”
Y/N moves to push her head back down, but Harry stops her, bringing her up for a kiss instead.
“I want to taste you, now.” He tells her, laying her down on the pillows. “Is that alright?”
Y/N nods desperately, feeling even more heat rush to her core and pool there. “Mhmm.”
Harry kisses his way down her body again, slipping his fingers into the waistband of her shorts. He leaves her panties on as he pulls the shorts down, and lets out a low groan at the sight of her pink Calvin Klein panties, and more specifically, the dark pink spot that’s apparent on them.
“You’re soaked…” He presses a kiss to her sensitive inner thigh before brushing a finger over the wet spot.
Y/N jumps a bit, making a sound in the back of her throat. “Harry!”
“Sorry.” He kisses her thigh again. “I’m sorry.  Just relax, yeah?  It’s just me. I got you.”
Harry continues to kiss along her inner thighs, moving closer and closer to the thin cloth covering her center.  When he presses his first kiss to the fabric, Y/N grasps the sheets in her hands.
“God…” She whispers, fists clenched.
Harry reaches up and takes one of her hands, placing it in his hair wordlessly before kissing over her again, his tongue peaking out just a bit.
The torture continues for what feels like forever, with Harry teasing her over the soaked fabric of her panties.  Finally, Y/N sighs in relief as she feels his hands grip the fabric, and she lifts her hips eagerly as he tugs the article of clothing down.
The first thing she feels is his hot breath hitting her core, which is enough to make her legs reflexively close with pleasure.  Harry’s hand grips her leg, pushing them back open as he takes in the sight of her dripping cunt before him.
“Fuck…” He inhales deeply, committing her scent to memory. “Your pussy is so gorgeous.”
Y/N whimpers at his words and tugs on his curls. “Please, H…I need you.”
“Need me?” Harry asks in a husky voice, his finger touching her outer lips just barely.
“Yes!” Y/N whines, not caring how she sounds. “Never needed anything more…”
Harry runs his finger over her slit, collecting the wetness dripping from her.  YN moans loudly at the contact, not fully relieved but grateful for the light touch.
“So fucking wet.” Harry’s voice sounds not completely his own. “Fuck, Y/N, how are you so wet?”
Y/N feels heat rush to her cheeks, and she mumbles her reply in what’s almost an embarrassed voice. “You know exactly how.”
“Don’t even know what to do first.” Harry ignores her reply, lost in his own world as he continues stroking her slit. “Just want…”
He presses into her without warning, and Y/N arches her back off the bed as Harry’s finger slips into her cunt.  His cold rings touch the top of her entrance as Harry pauses inside her, his eyes heavy with lust.
“And so tight.” He moans, biting his lip hard enough to leave a mark. “Oh my God…”
He curves his finger inside her, wanting to feel every inch of her that he can.  Y/N continues to whimper above him.
“More.” She begs him, pushing back against his finger. “I can take more, Harry, please.”
Harry easily slips enough finger in, repeating his motion as she pushes back on him.  However, the pressure building inside Y/N disappears abruptly as his fingers do, and she’s just about to get angry at him when she feels his tongue replace his fingers.
“Fuck!” She exclaims loudly, her eyes closing as she throws her head back. “Harry—!”
Harry moves his tongue in and out of her, loving the taste of her juices in his mouth.  He moves further up to her clit, licking and sucking over the sensitive bundle of nerves as Y/N writhes above him.
“Taste so good.” He growls from between her thighs. “Fuck, Y/N…you’re going to cum for me, yeah?” He asks as he reaches up and grips her hands in his, interlocking their fingers. “Tell me you’re going to cum for me.”
Another strangled moan leaves Y/N’s mouth as he speaks. “I-I’m so close, Harry. Keep going, please.”
“Tell me.” He demands, licking over her clit again. “Tell me you’re going to cum for me.”
Y/N grinds against his tongue as she grips his hands tighter. “I’m going—fuck—I’m going to cum for you, H.  I’m going—”
Harry sucks hard on her clit, and Y/N throws her head back as an orgasm hits her harder than ever before.  Her thighs clench shut, trapping Harry’s head between them, but he just continues to lap at the juices flowing from her cunt while making the most obscene sounds Y/N has ever heard.
Harry doesn’t pull back until Y/N unclenches her thighs, and before he does, he presses one last kiss to her clit, making her flinch.  
Y/N is so exhausted she can barely open her eyes.  Once she does, however, and sees Harry, she feels all the exhaustion fade.
Harry’s lips are, somehow, even more red than before, and his whole chin is slick with her wetness.  He keeps licking his lips, like he can’t get enough of the taste, and Y/N feels like her whole body is on fire.
“Harry…” She whispers, squeezing his hand again.  She doesn’t know what else to say.
Harry lifts himself over her body, which is still shaking from her orgasm, and kisses her gently.  She can taste herself on his mouth, and she adores it.
“You taste so fucking good.” He murmurs, pressing his sweaty forehead against hers. “Like candy.”
Y/N swallows hard. “I haven’t—no one’s done that in a long time.”
“I’ll be glad to do it again.” Harry replies, brushing her hair back. “But right now…all I want to do is make love to you.” He looks at her with sincere eyes. “Will you let me?”
The tenderness of him asking almost brings tears to her eyes, and Y/N nods, her hands coming up to cup his rosy cheeks. “Yeah, H.  I’m…” She bites her lip as she realizes the truth of her words. “I’m yours.  Always.”
Harry inhales sharply before kissing her softly, his hands stroking her hair in a comforting fashion again. “How do you want to…?”
“I want you on top.” Y/N replies, touching his swallow tattoos. “I-I want to feel you.  Feel your weight.  Feel you close.”
With a nod, Harry positions himself over her, spreading her legs wide enough that his body can fit between.  He holds himself up with one hand and uses the other to guide his cock to Y/N’s folds, just brushing the head over them.  He’s teasing himself just as much as her.
“Harry…” Y/N leans her head back at the sensation. “Please, H…”
“I don’t—wait—” Harry pauses his movements, and Y/N can see on his face the strength and discipline it takes for him to do so. “I—a condom—”
“I’m clean, and I have an IUD.” Y/N assures him, running her hand along his shoulders. “Are you?”
Harry nods. “Yeah, I am, but—are you sure?”
As Y/N looks into his eyes, the love and concern and want written all over them, she knows she’s never been more sure of anything in her life. “I want to feel you, without anything in between.  I—” She takes a deep breath and presses a kiss to his jaw. “Yeah.  I’m sure.”
Harry presses a kiss to her forehead, and the tender action makes Y/N close her eyes as she revels in the feeling.  A moment later, Harry moves down again and puts his forehead against hers as he pushes into her.
The moment he enters her, Y/N feels a fullness she’s never experienced before.  Not only is Harry stretching her cunt in a way that feels euphoric, but she feels complete.  He’s as close to her as he’s ever been, his breath is mingling with hers, his body weight is held over her carefully, and Y/N thinks she could die in the pleasure of this moment happily.
“Y/N…baby…” The pet name seems to fall easily from Harry’s lips as he bottoms out, holding himself still to adjust to the feeling. “Oh my God…”
Y/N digs her fingernails into Harry’s shoulders, pressing kisses to his lips between gasps for breath. “Move, H, please.”
Harry begins to thrust his hips, setting a slow but deep pace before gradually speeding up.  While part of Y/N wishes he would thrust as fast as he can, a deeper part of her is grateful that Harry is taking his time with her.  This feeling, now that she has it, is better than anything she’d ever felt before, and Y/N doesn’t want it to end anytime soon.
Harry kisses Y/N again as he moves inside her.  Although they’re as close as they’ve ever been, each of them keeps pulling the other closer.  As Harry thrusts deeper, Y/N pulls more of his weight down on her.  As Y/N scratches her nails down his back, Harry kisses her jaw. Neither of them can process exactly what they’re doing, but neither of them can stop.  Each touch is tender, each kiss is passionate, and each moment brings them closer together in so many more ways than just physical.
They don’t speak except for the occasional whisper from Y/N for Harry to move faster, or the occasional moan of Y/N’s name falling from Harry’s lips. The only constant sounds in the room are of the slickness between Y/N’s thighs as Harry moves between them, the sound of his skin meeting hers, both of them panting and moaning, and a few whispers of “please” that are barely audible.  Despite the lack of speech, however, the two are in constant communication.  Kissing, biting, scratching, and squeezing have become the vocabulary of their new language.  When Harry looks into Y/N’s wet eyes, he knows that she feels something running through the very depths of her being.  When Y/N feels Harry tuck his head between her neck and her shoulder as he whimpers, she knows that he trusts her to comfort him and hold him there.
Soon, Y/N feels the waves of pleasure begin to build, and she knows that when they finally break, they’ll pull her under. “H, I—fuck—I—” She can’t manage to form the sentence she needs to.
Harry, however, can tell exactly what she’s going to say. “Please.” He pants, adoring how she buries her head into his shoulder. “Please, love, cum for me…” He kisses over the shell of her ear as he thrusts deeper. “Need you.”
Y/N whimpers, biting down on Harry’s shoulder as her orgasm rolls over her. Harry feels her walls tighten around his cock, but he doesn’t slow down, and he works her through her climax until she whines in his ear.
“So good, H…” Y/N can barely find the strength to whisper the phrase.
Hearing her sound so fucked out, feeling her cunt squeezing him, and seeing the euphoria on her face is enough to bring Harry to the edge.  He slows his thrusts, about to pull out, but Y/N presses on his back to keep him close.
Harry groans as a shiver rolls through his body. “I’m about to cum, Y/N—”
“Stay inside me.” She pleads, pressing the pads of her fingers between his shoulder blades. “I-I’m yours, Harry, I told you.  Yours.”
Y/N looks up at him with such trusting and vulnerable eyes that Harry can’t make himself argue with her.  He nods instead, his thrusts increasing in speed again until he feels himself reach the edge of pleasure.  
As he freefalls into Y/N, his hips stutter, and he presses deep inside her while her name falls from his lips over and over again.  He can’t think of anything else to say.  He can’t think of anything else worth saying.
When Harry finally manages to pull himself together enough to pull out, Y/N instantly feels the emptiness inside her.  She wishes he would stay, but knows that it’s not practical, and instead just relishes in the feeling of his cum dripping from her entrance.  It’s like he’s claimed her as his, left a physical mark of himself, and Y/N doesn’t have the strength to stop herself from loving it.
They lay in silence for a few moments, trying to catch their breath and regain a sense of where they are.  Both Harry and Y/N are sweaty, exhausted, and covered in each other in more ways than one.  The wrap on Harry’s tattoo has slipped from his arm.  Somewhere in their pleasure, Y/N has lost an earring.  And yet, the only thing each of them cares about is looking at the other.
Out of instinct, Harry pulls Y/N’s shivering body into his, wrapping his arms around her tightly.  He can’t imagine she’s cold, and Y/N can’t bring herself to tell him she’s shivering because of the feeling of being so close to him, but neither of them denies the other of the affectionate gesture.
Y/N loses track of how long they lay there until Harry breaks the silence.
“I—” His voice cracks, and he clears it quickly before trying again. “I’ll get you a cloth to—to clean you up.”
Y/N nods, and Harry gently untangles himself from her before going to the bathroom.  Y/N can hear the running of water, and turns her head to see what he’s doing, but when she spots his naked silhouette, she closes her eyes.  Despite what they just did, there’s a shyness in her still when she sees him completely stripped.
Her eyes stay closed, and she only detects his return from feeling his weight return to the bed.  He places a gentle hand on her trembling knee, pulling her open ever so slightly.
“’M just cleaning you up.” Harry says in a quiet tone. “Is that okay?”
Y/N nods again.  She’s not certain she has enough strength to say anything.
Harry wipes between her legs with a gentle touch, watching how she flinches at the slightest of pressure. “I’m sorry.” He says sincerely, kissing her knee tenderly before continuing. “You’re sensitive, I know.  Almost done.”
Once he finishes wiping away the cum dripping out of her (his cum dripping out of her), Harry tosses the cloth onto his pile of clothes on the ground, deciding it can be dealt with later.  His most pressing concern at the moment is Y/N.
He lays back down on his side so he can face her, and pushes a lock of hair away from her closed eyes.
“Y/N.” Harry murmurs, hand resting on her waist carefully. “Talk to me. Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Her voice is rough when she answers, and Harry can hear the echo of her moans in her words. “I-I’m fine, H.  Just…tired.”
“Do you…” Harry bites his lip. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Y/N gives a slight shake of her head. “Maybe—maybe tomorrow, yeah?” She does her best to open one eye, but quickly shuts it again when she sees how Harry is looking at her. “Can’t right now.”
“Okay.” Harry lays his arm over her side as he moves closer. “Tomorrow.”
Y/N presses her head into his shoulder and commits the scent of his skin to memory.
The first thing Y/N registers when she wakes up is the feeling of someone touching her hair.
She doesn’t need to open her eyes to know it’s Harry.  Of course it’s Harry.  It’s always been Harry.  In every way.
Y/N sighs and readjusts her position in bed, moving a bit closer to Harry.  She shivers once from the cold, still naked from last night’s activities, and that’s the only hint Harry needs before he pulls the sheet up around her more.
“Are you awake?” He asks softly, careful in case she’s still lost deep in sleep.
Y/N moves her head in a passable nodding motion, and her voice is thick with sleep when she answers. “Mhmm.  Barely.”
A low chuckle escapes from Harry’s mouth, and the next thing Y/N feels are his warm lips against her cheek. “How are you feeling?”
“A little hungover.  A little sore.” Y/N finally opens her eyes as she speaks, and almost wishes she hadn’t.
Harry’s hair is a mess from both sex and sleep, messy and wild and haphazardly pushed out of his eyes. His cheeks are flushed, and his neck and chest are covered in marks from both Y/N’s lips and fingers.  She knows that if he turned over, his back would be the same, and it embarrasses her and delights her at the same time.  He looks completely fucked and content, and more relaxed than she’s seen him in ages.
Y/N wonders if she looks the same.  If she looks as pretty.
“Sorry.” Harry says, his tone a bit sheepish.
“It’s not your fault.” Y/N replies, shrugging a bit.
“Well…it is, actually.  I made your drinks.  And I…” He trails off, brushing his fingers down her bare hip to her thigh.
“Yeah.” Y/N feels her face get warm. “I guess it is your fault.”
Harry laughs lightly, but it fades away as he looks into her eyes. “We, uh…we should probably talk about what happened.”
Y/N purses her lips. “Yeah. We should.”
“So…first question, I guess.” Harry props his head up on his arm, but keeps running his fingers over Y/N’s hip gently. “Do you regret it?”
Y/N sits up a bit more in bed, clutching the sheet to her bare chest. “No.  I don’t.  Do you?”
“No.” Harry replies instantly. “I don’t regret it.”
“Okay.” Y/N is so aware of Harry’s eyes on her as she thinks of her question. “Did…did you enjoy it?”
A snort falls from Harry’s mouth, and he shakes his head incredulously. “Christ, Y/N, of course I enjoyed it.  It felt—you felt like heaven.”
Y/N flushes at the comment. “I’ve never…I’ve always made my partners wear condoms.  So that was a first for me.”
Harry’s fingers pause over her hip, but only for a moment.  It looks as though he’s deciding whether or not he should comment on that, but changes his mind at the last moment. “Did you enjoy it?” He asks instead, echoing your question.
“I did.”
“You said you were mine.”
Y/N swallows hard. This conversation is less incriminating than making love to him last night, but it seems infinitely more powerful. Probably because they’re both sober, she thinks.
“That—” She clears her throat. “That’s not a question.”
Harry sighs, but there’s an endeared smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “You said you were mine. Did you mean that?”
Y/N can’t look him in the eyes, so she looks down instead.  Harry’s hand lies between them, and she intertwines their fingers, playing with his rings as she carefully formulates her answer. “I’ve—I’ve always been yours, H.  Ever since we were kids, I’ve belonged to you.” She runs a finger over his H ring. “Even when you were gone.”
Harry frowns a bit at the tone of her voice. “I’ve been yours too, Y/N.  I belong to you just as much as you belong to me.”
“You’ve always been further out of reach.” Y/N pulls her hand from his, until their fingertips are just barely touching. “Always just…a little out of reach.”
Harry intertwines their fingers again. “I’m not out of reach.  Not right now.  And I’ve never—if you ever called me and said you needed me, I would’ve been on the first flight back home to you.  I would’ve dropped everything for you, Y/N.  I still would, and I always will.”
Tears prick Y/N’s eyes, and although she hurries to close them, one slips out.  Harry catches it on his finger before it can run off her cheek, and when she looks at him again, there’s a concerned look on his face.
“C’mere.” Harry mumbles, pulling Y/N into a tight hug.  He rubs her back like he always does, and the motion is so comforting that she almost forgets the vulnerable position they’re both in. “You’re my girl.  You’re always going to be my girl.” He murmurs in her ear, voice low and soothing. “Always.  Don’t you know that?”
Y/N nods, not trusting her voice at the moment.
“If this is too much for you…” Harry traces his fingers between her shoulder blades.  Y/N thinks he’s tracing words, like they used to as children, but she can’t tell what words he may be tracing. “I understand. We can just—we can pretend it didn’t happen.”
“I—” Y/N shakes her head, looking up at Harry. “I don’t want to do that.”
“Then what do you want, Y/N?” Harry asks, his tone as pleading as it was last night. “All I’ve ever tried to do is give you what you want, and usually I’m pretty good at telling what that is, but right now, I’m lost.  I don’t want things to go back to how they were, but I don’t—I can’t lose you, so just—if you just tell me what you want, I’ll do it.  I’ll make it work.  I promise that I won’t be mad, or hurt, or anything.”
Y/N sits up as best she can, her fingers combing through Harry’s messy curls on reflex, as she always does it when he gets upset. “I can’t pretend that I don’t want you, H.  I do.  I need you.  I told you that last night.”
“But you’re crying.” Harry cups her wet cheek gently, rubbing his thumb along her cheekbone. “I hate that.”
Y/N leans into his touch. “It just feels…strange.” She says after a moment. “All of this.  I spent so long trying to stop myself from thinking of you like this, and now that I am, I feel like—like it’s wrong.”
Harry tugs on his bottom lip with his teeth. “Does it feel wrong?”
His low voice makes her shiver. “No.  It feels right.  Really right.”
“I feel like…” Harry’s eyes flicker between Y/N’s own eyes and their intertwined hands. “I feel like we’re both dancing around saying it.”
Y/N sucks in a breath. “Saying what?”
“Saying…” Harry leans in and presses a soft kiss to her lips. “Saying that we’re in love with each other.”
Y/N feels breathless at the words coming from his mouth. “You’re in love with me?”
“Are you not in love with me?” He replies, moving so he’s leaning over her more. “We’ve said I love you so many times before.”
“That’s a different kind of love.” Y/N mumbles, touching the chain dangling from Harry’s neck.
“But we were both meaning something different when we were saying it.  At least, I was.” Harry inhales deeply, like he’s centering himself. “I’ve known…for a while, but I’ve felt it for longer than I’ve known it. And I thought that you might…”
“I think I do.” Y/N whispers. “But saying it feels so—so permanent.  Like we can’t go back to being friends if it blows up in our faces.”
Harry traces a finger down Y/N’s cheek, her neck, between her breasts, to her side, touching just below her ribs. “Maybe we can’t.  But I don’t think we’ll want to, Y/N.  I think we’re perfect for each other.”
Y/N’s heart pounds in her chest. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Harry nods. “This last month, it’s been like we’ve been…playing house, or something.  I’ve loved it.  I keep hearing from friends saying that they’re so sick of the person they’re living with, so tired of them, but I’ve never felt that way about you, and I don’t think I ever will.  I’ll never get sick of you.”
Y/N laughs a bit. “That’s romantic.”
“Shut up.” Harry can’t help but smile slightly. “It is romantic.”
“Yeah.  It is.” Y/N says softly, her hand rubbing over Harry’s tattooed arm. “You’re really in love with me?”
Harry nods. “I am.”
“Huh.” Y/N bites her lip. “So I guess we’ve been lying to our moms, haven’t we?”
Harry laughs loudly, collapsing on the bed next to Y/N. “Jesus, can you not mention our mums when we’re naked in bed?”
“I’m just saying!  We’ve been saying for years that you’re not in love with me, and it’s all been a lie.”
“What about when they ask if you’re in love with me?” Harry’s tone is joking, but there’s a hint of nervousness in the back of his voice. “Has that been a lie, too?”
Y/N’s heart pounds as she nods. “Yeah.  We’ll have to get them something really good for Mother’s Day this year to help make up for it.”
A grin spreads over Harry’s face, almost triumphant, as he leans down to kiss her. “Agreed.” He moves to cage himself over Y/N. “But I want to hear you say it.”
“Say what?”
“I want to hear you say that you’re in love with me.” Harry’s grin turns into a smirk.
Y/N flushes as she shakes her head. “You say it first.”
“I’ve already admitted it!”
“So have I!”
“Not as well as I have!”
“Oh, so it’s a competition now?” Y/N scoffs. “What a wonderful start to our relationship.”
“I’m just saying, Y/N, admitting it is the first step to—”
“Are you seriously going to say that to get me to say that I love you?”
“Just—”
“You’re so irritating—”
“I’m irritating?  You—”
“You’re the worst!”
“And yet you’re in my bed with no clothes on!”
“Okay.  Nope.  Relationship over.” Y/N pushes Harry off of her and wraps the sheet around herself as she gets out of bed. “You blew it, Styles.”
“Y/N.” Laughter falls from Harry’s lips as he leans over the edge of the bed. “Love.  Come back to bed.”
“I think a minute and thirty-seven seconds may be the record for the world’s shortest relationship.” Y/N searches her bag for some clean clothes.
“Come here!”
“Another world record for Harry Styles.” Y/N calls to him without turning around. “You must be so proud—”
Her words are cut off in a shriek as Harry picks her up, throwing her over his shoulder as he brings her back to his bed.
“Harry!” She yells, hitting his arm. “Put me down!”
Harry tosses her on the bed, gentle enough so as not to hurt her, and cages himself over her sheet-covered body.  He’s still completely bare. “Take it back.”
Y/N rolls her eyes. “Fine. We’re still together.  One less record for you.”
“Good.  Now…” Harry brushes a finger over her lips. “Say you’re in love with me.”
Y/N’s laughter fades a bit as the nerves set back in. “I…”
“Please, Y/N?” Harry murmurs, leaning down to kiss her neck. “Please say it.”
“I’m—” Y/N sucks in a quick breath, and all of her protest leaves her body as she exhales. “I’m in love with you, Harry.”
She can feel Harry’s lips forming a grin against her neck. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Y/N tugs on his hair gently, just enough so she can pull his head back to look in his eyes. “Now you say it.”
“Y/N.” Harry says her name like it’s something precious. “I’m in love with you.”
A flush of pleasure crawls up Y/N’s spine at his words, but she does her best to keep her tone light-hearted. “So are you calling our moms, or am I?”
“I’ll do it.” Harry reaches for his phone on the bedside table. “And I’ll be sure to mention how it took us getting drunk and having sex to realize—”
“Harry!”
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell your mum we used a condom—”
“I’ll kill you, Styles, and I’ll make it look like an accident.” Y/N shoves his shoulder hard.
Harry grins at her. “Now that’s romantic.”
10K notes · View notes
timextoxhajima · 4 years ago
Text
Accelerate [Dana’s 600 Special]
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Track: Feel It by Michele Morrone / Drunk-Dazed by ENHYPHEN / Insanity by THE BOYZ
Member: I swear he’s not even my bias
Genre: i-ion know-
Word Count: it’s pretty damn long so please don’t make me write a part two
Taglist: @hyunjaethereal​ @lsangyeons​
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The first time you laid eyes on Lee Hyunjae, you were both in Italy as he was being blinded by a billion flashes in his face. The light reflects off his dark hair - which was once a brighter color - as he maintains that polite, miniscule smile on his face. Most of the photographers and interviewers were male, for the sole reason that female photographers and interviewers would be too stunned to continue at their job. 
Not that the males rushing to get a shot of his face or a string of words out from him now weren’t stunned themselves. 
Despite being hailed for looking like every woman’s wet dream, Lee Hyunjae was more known for being South Korea’s youngest first class F1 racer. Sure, if he ever bothered to utter a single syllable of speech to you, you could pass out on the spot. 
But right now, all you wanted was to get an exclusive modelling contract from Louis Vuitton to his manager. Not Lee Hyunjae, not his bodyguards, his manager.
“Lee Hyunjae! Do you have anything you want to say before your final race of the season? How do you feel about being so close to coming out top?”
His manager stands a step behind him to Hyunjae’s right, and gives the racer the green light to respond. The flashes and sounds of clicking from the cameras were so overwhelming, it’s impossible for you to even imagine how it felt like being in the spotlight.
But the celebrity couldn’t receive the question any less gracefully, and offers one of those swoon-worthy smiles before leaning into the microphone.
“I feel nervous but I’ve prepared for this. Consistency is key and I believe in myself, so if that answers your question...” 
“Do you have any other plan other than racing? Word has it that you’ve received offers to be the face of Gucci and Louis Vuitton!”
The contract in your briefcase is still ironed out safely in its file when you pull it behind your legs, away from plain sight.
Hyunjae turns to look at his manager when the question posed obviously isn’t one of those in the list prepared, so the manager steps forward, and coincidentally spots you at the back of the crowd. He recognises you from the meeting he had with your higher-up.
“My apologies but Mr Lee isn’t permitted to answer to any of these, so if this is all then we must be going. Thank you for coming to the conference tonight.” 
Lee Hyunjae and his manager step back away from the microphone and bow for the press to continue their aggressive, merciless snapshotting. You wait patiently for the duo to disappear behind the conference area, and for the press to switch their attention to the pictures they have on their camera before you make your round backstage. 
The 5-star hotel is grand in all the ways possible: chandelier, white wines and champagnes being served in waiting areas and water was served sparkling. Finally fishing out the tag that you were given at the registration for entry to the event, you hand it to the lady at the meetings’ conference registration counter.
You wonder how the Louis Vuitton logos on your clothes and briefcase had gone unnoticed earlier at the showcase. Even on the tag, the ‘LV’ logo was so apparent. How far does the company need to go in order for them to have the logo printed in some shiny, golden print on the tag-
“Welcome to the F1 internal press conference and meeting, Miss l/n!” She pulls a sticker off a page and presses it onto the tag below the LV logo. “If you need anything at all, please just approach one of our staffs. All waiters and staff concerned will have a red tie tonight.”
“Alright, thank you,” The tag gets slid across the table to you. “Where’s the nearest washroom?”
“Oh, she’ll show you the way,” The lady gestures behind her for one of the staff members with a red tie to accompany you. 
“Oh-” Slightly taken aback by the aggressive escorting, the younger female grins at you before holding out her arm in the direction of the washroom. “Thanks.”
The hotel’s grandeur only gets more and more apparent as your heels click through the hallways and corridors. For an event night, the hotel’s pretty desolate. Then again, the press conference happened outside where all the photographers and journalists were. The one you were here for was an internal press meeting, and last you checked, there were fewer than 10 names on that list. 
“I can find my way back to the main hall after,” The slight panic in your voice humors you when the staff member seemed ready to wait outside the washroom. “Thanks.”
She bows and takes her leave only after you enter the bathroom; you can tell from the sound of her shoes echoing down the corridor. The scent of lavender is so overwhelming, you could almost taste it. Walls of cream and silver strokes cut through the tiles, a vase made of bronze sits in the corner of the platform where the sinks were, filled with roses.
The crisp reflection of yourself stares down at you in the mirror; it’s one of the few times you were dressed in branded goods head to toe. None of the articles of clothing you were wearing right now, you owned. Usually, you’d be gaping in awe at how beautiful these places where - after all, you were in a five-star hotel in Italy. 
But no, after almost five years of working with Louis Vuitton as a brand ambassador and subsequently becoming an assistant model-scout has numbed your habit of wandering eyes. 
The LV briefcase gets set on a dry area of marble, your fingers automatically clutching the edges of the sink as the jewelry on your ears, neck and hands twinkle under the fluorescent lighting. The makeup looks close to perfect - because someone had done it for you. Your clothes and shoes fit right down to your skin - because they were tailored for you. 
You were more upset you couldn’t sell it off and donate the money over having actual ownership of these fabrics. 
News of the orphanage had reached you hours after you touched down in Italy, and your heart yearns to stop the ache that seeps through you. They had run out of funds to continue the orphanage, the kids already enrolled would be split and sent to other organizations instead. 
What you had once called your home was going to be non-existent in another years’ time. Those whom you called your teachers, mentors, parents... were going to be in places you were not familiar with. The children that you always bring back food, clothes and toys for were going to be separated into different cities and states. As if not having a family was not bad enough, the people you now called your family was going to be split apart. 
You hadn’t noticed your eyes were closed until you opened them, the weight of the makeup on your face urging you to rub your eyes and skin but the discipline written into your hands stop you from doing so. 
Standing back to fix your posture, your eyes land on the one garnish on your body that doesn’t belong to Louis Vuitton - the ring on your middle finger. A gold band that looked more like a wedding ring than anything else. 
It had the name of the orphanage engraved on the inner side, so it feels lighter on your hands than it would otherwise be. 
A deep breath expands your chest as you take your briefcase and step away from the sink, attention scrutinising yourself more than you actually would.
The corridors of the hotel collect you back into its wealth again, drawing the thickest line between the realities of people like you and those who enjoy the luxurious life. 
The racer’s manager was sitting at the end of the meeting table when you enter, and you immediately recognise half the list of names you had seen before. Gucci’s manager was here personally. Another racer and his manager were here too. Stefano Domenicali and Michael Masi were here. 
Why were they here? Their names weren’t on the list.
“Ah, Miss l/n!” Masi gets off his seat and holds out his hand. “Such a pleasure to meet you!”
“Honor on my part,” Reaching out a palm, you smile the most graceful smile you can find in the muscles of your face. 
“Can I get you a drink? We’re still waiting for Mr Lee before we begin our discussion on the collaboration.”
Collaboration?
“Pardon my ignorance but... I thought I was here for a sponsorship or a model-contract request for Mr Lee... I wasn’t expecting your attendance or... a collaboration.”
Domenicalli chuckles heartily at his seat as he whirls around to gesture to one of the staff members in the room. “Will you get her a Mojito?” 
Then he stands up and pushes his glasses up his nose bridge. “We’ve been looking for a company that’s willing to do a three-way partnership with us and Mr Lee’s agency. Right now, it’s boiled down to both Louis Vuitton and Gucci so... it depends on which contract Mr Lee’s agency is more interested in.”
“Oh... Um, if that’s the case then I’m not entirely sure if the contract I have with me right now is appropriate-”
“Oh, it’s not. LV has already told us you’d sell them better unscripted than if planned,” Masi leans forward and mutters away from your ear. “Don’t tell Gucci though. Their manager’s only here because they panicked.”
He pulls away and before he can say anything else, the door clicks open with a staff member pushing the door open for the star of the night. 
“My apologies,” He’s changed out of his formal suit and is in a more comfortable set of hoodie and baggy pants now. “Did I keep everybody waiting?”
“No, not at all!” Masi throws his hands up into the air and beckons you to meet Lee Hyunjae. “Might I introduce... Miss l/n from LV. She’ll be the one pitching the collaboration for LV today.”
Hyunjae’s eyes are wide and clear, despite his fringe covering his eyelids. “My pleasure,” He holds out his hand and you take it to shake, but he doesn’t stop there.
Lifting the back of your hand to his lips, the contact is soft and gentle on your skin. 
Your hairs stand against your will and goosebumps erupt all over your neck when he pulls away, eyes now locked with yours. Nobody else in the room bothers to provide a reaction - it’s like he’s done this before and it’s perfectly normal. 
The rest of the evening is spent listening to your own pitch, and Gucci’s, but you couldn’t really keep your head in the game when... all that was in Lee Hyunjae’s head was... you.
You’d be lying had you said you were comfortable with how much he was glancing at you across the table, obviously not listening to Gucci’s pitch at all. His manager was the one busy jotting down all kinds of things, almost like it was an act of dictation. But the racer’s eyes fail to leave you for any longer than five seconds, and it was becoming glaringly obvious that he wasn’t really paying attention to the pitch. 
Gucci’s pitch finally finishes, giving you some kind of escape because now his manager is pummeling him for not listening to the benefits provided as Gucci’s ambassador. The contract document from LV was sitting before you, very single term and condition now inapplicable because you had just pitched something that wasn’t in the instruction manual.
God help me not to get fired.
“Mr Lee has some to a decision,” Masi claps his hands together, earning the attention of everybody in the room. “The Formula One federation would like to officially welcome Lee Hyunjae as the brand ambassador in a stellar collaboration... with Gucci.”
The Gucci ambassador scout smiles with triumph as the room provides a round of applause, you included. 
“Thank you so much, Miss l/n, for coming down. Your pitch was nothing short of commendable and I will make sure your manager will hear of that, alright?” Masi and Domenicali take turns shaking your hand. In your peripheral vision, you watch the Gucci ambassador shake hands with both Lee Hyunjae and his manager. 
Masi and Domenicali finish up with you, and Lee Hyunjae’s manager approaches you for the handshake with his client behind him. “That was a stellar... impromptu pitch, Miss l/n.”
A gentle chuckle rolls off your tongue as you pull your hand away, tightly clutching the briefcase. “I work better when things aren’t planned, so...”
“We’ll... we’ll keep in touch, LV. You’re an excellent scout with marvelous presentation skills. It makes me sad Mr Lee didn’t choose you.”
Your eyes drift to Hyunjae’s and he’s already looking at you like he hadn’t eaten in three days and you were a bowl of soup.
“Of course we’ll keep in touch. He’ll still be valuable asset and ambassador after his contract with Gucci ends,” Ignoring him, you return your attention to his manager. 
“Now, let’s hope the Prince of Korea doesn’t screw anything up, yeah?” His manager grins as he pats Hyunjae on the back. “Anyway, it’s been a mighty pleasure. We’ll be in touch.”
You lower your head as a small nod, turning on your heels to exit the room. Even then you can feel his eyes on your back. 
By the time you’re back in your hotel room (which was in the same hotel as you had the internal meeting), your feet are half dead from the heels you were wearing and the makeup on your face was starting to wear off. It took a nice, warm bath and a rather long conversation with your own manager on the phone as he congratulated on pulling through an impromptu pitch. 
He finally finishes, and you drop your phone into the towel by the bathtub as the steam fogs up the mirror. But your peace is cut short when someone rings the doorbell of your room. 
“Room service for Miss l/n!”
Tightening the robe around your waist, you pull open the door and watch the hotel staff hold out a bottle of wine and an envelop. “Mr Lee Hyunjae sends his regards, Miss.”
Surprised, you receive the bottle. The hotel staff bows and leaves, letting you turn around and the door click shut. 
To: Miss l/n
I apologise for the inappropriate staring earlier this evening. This is an attempt to compensate for my behaviour. I’ll be leaving Italy the day after tomorrow so if you could do me the pleasure of having dinner with me tomorrow... I’d like to be acquainted.
I’ve made a reservation at La Terrazza for 7pm. I’ll meet you in the guest lobby downstairs at 6.30 to pick you up. 
Love, 
Lee Hyunjae
You can see how the material of the paper trembles a little between your fingers. The thought runs, So he’s a creep and a national treasure. He can’t hurt you, right?
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Again, the evening gown is more than fitting on you. It’s been tailored to hug all your curves at your chest and your hips and thighs and it exposes your leg where the slit is. It’s like LV knew you had an important evening appointment coming up and had you pack all these different sets appropriate for the event. 
The usher standing by the guest lobby nods when you head for the door, and he pushes it open to reveal only one person in it: Lee Hyunjae. 
On the phone, he whirls around when he hears the doors swish against the carpet flooring. His eyes are glimmering under the soft, rosy lighting and the glossy collar of his suit looks like plastic from the reflection. 
“I gotta go, I’ll call you back.”
The phone clicks to black before he opens his blazer and slides it into his inner breast pocket. 
“I’m gonna guess that’s your manager,” Your fingers wrap around the clutch tightly as he takes a few steps toward you, obviously very stunned by how different you looked compared from the previous day. 
“Uh, no, actually,” That million-dollar smile gleams at you. He reaches up to his forehead and scratches his brow. His hair is styled upwards so seeing the glory of his forehead was pretty enticing. “My mom. Making sure I’m doing well and fine here.”
He stops a safe distance away from you, finished with taking in whatever of you his eyes and memory can allow him. “Not gonna lie, I thought you were gonna stand me up.”
“I think LV would fire me if they knew I stood the Lee Hyunjae up.”
Hyunjae licks his lips then purses them together, attention finally peeling off your face as he reaches for your hand. He presses his lips into the back of your palm, then casually hooks your arm around his while he walks to your side. “Ready to go?”
At a loss of words for his flirtatious mannerism, all you can afford is a nod.
But as if your vocabulary bank wasn’t already exhausted, you can’t help but stare in complete astonishment when you are led to the matte black Sian Roadster already waiting at the drop-off point right outside the lobby. 
“Have them send the Dior package to Miss l/n’s room by 9pm,” He instructs the bell boy by the hotel entrance as he reaches for the vehicle door. 
“Wait, what?” 
“Yes, Mr Lee.”
“Thanks.”
“Wait a minute,” Your vision is finally peeled off the car when Lee Hyunjae pulls the door open. “What Dior package?”
“Just a token of appreciation from me, that’s all,” He releases your arm as he guides you into the vehicle. “I knew if I gave it to you over dinner, you’d reject, so...”
Twitching his eyebrow, he smirks and retreats, closing the car door. 
Flirt.
The vehicle moves off with a sharp rev of the engine, and you almost feel guilty for being able to be comfortable in in your clothes, shoes, sports car and on the way to a fancy-ass restaurant. 
If only things could be like that for everybody and everything. 
“So, when are you leaving Italy?”
“Oh, um... tomorrow too actually,” Rome’s lights are wondrous on the outside, some of them blinding you. “I have... something to attend.”
“Hmm, that’s... vague.”
You turn to eye him at his silent call for clarification. “I’m attending a closing event; help out with administrations.”
“Like... a pet store or something?”
“Yeah, ‘or something’.”
“That confidential, huh?” He lets out a soft chuckle. 
The gut in your abdomen tells you not to look at him. He’ll see right through you, figure out that there’s something more to it than something ‘confidential’. 
“Yeah,” You mask it with a sigh. “Funds and things.”
You can feel his attention sink into your back as silence befell the atmosphere. 
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There’s a kind of light in his eyes when he talks about racing. When he’s describing the feeling of adrenaline in his fingers, gripped around the steering wheel. He’s unexpectedly kind to the service at the restaurant, then again he was a celebrity and he had a reputation to uphold. 
It’s the kind of light that made you panic throughout dinner, because there’s no way this specimen of a man would ever pay you a second thought. Maybe you were going to be his Italy fling that he would boast about to his friends and colleagues and they’d laugh at you without you even knowing. 
What was a rich, handsome racer even doing, single? It was too good to be true, and even if it was, you? Of all people?
Dream on.
“It’s been... an amazing night. Thank you so much for dinner.”
Lee Hyunjae walks you into the lift, letting you press the button to your floor first. 
“I’ll walk you back. I have time.”
Standing with your feet together, in the safety of your gown, your hands are holding your clutch like your life depended on it. You could tell that he wasn’t the most comfortable now, not with his hands over one another and placed politely on his abdomen.
When the lift door dings open, the silence remains. He trails behind you as you walk your way to your room, hands fumbling through your clutch to search for your keycard. The slick of the door is fast and you push the door open, with a black and silver box with the label ‘DIOR’ printed on it sitting at the foot of your bed. 
“Oh, my God!” You rush in and grab the box, eyes widening as you turn to him, who has one arm extended to keep the door open. The box was almost as big as a pillow.
There’s a soft, warm smile on his face. A stark contrast to all his flirty ministrations throughout the evening. “Goodnight, Miss l/n. Sleep well and have a safe flight.”
“Wha-” Then he lowers his head, and turns around. “Wait!”
Without another moment of hesitation, he disappears down the corridor and the door swings shut. 
It feels ironically empty. Your hands are carrying this Godforsaken box of a gift and yet you cannot think of a way to properly thank the person who gave it to you. With slight reluctance, your fingers find the edge of the cover.
It’s a beautiful Dior blazer, packaged with a perfume and a cosmetics set. The cream letter in it is handwritten and signed the racer himself.
I wish we had more time. Love,  Lee Hyunjae
The nauseating sensation of your heart sinking in your chest beats all the logic in your brain when you find yourself reaching for the door handle. The box is mindlessly thrown back onto the bed as you rush out, kicking off your heels in the moment of folly. (Of course, remembering to use the door latch to keep the door open.)
“Hyunjae!” You call down the corridor, and he was just about to enter the lift. He turns, providing you with a gorgeous view of his jaw. 
It feels like a fairytale, when you run down the carpeted corridor, barefooted and still in your gown. The urge to throw your arms around him far supercedes your brain yelling at you not to, but you do it anyway. 
He catches you by the waist as your rest your forehead in his blazer, arms already struggling to meet the height of his shoulders. 
A whisper. “I wish we had more time too.”
He pushes you back by your upper arms, tucking one bit of your hair behind your ear. “If time is what you want, then I’ll make time.”
“But... I- Will you get in trouble?”
He looks you dead in the eye and subtly shakes his head. 
Time stops. 
Fear. That’s what you’re feeling. 
Then he tilts his head and slowly leans in. 
“I don’t think I’d care if I do.”
His breath hits your upper lip and your instincts flutter your lids shut. 
White wine and strawberries from dinner. That’s what he tastes like.
Warmth radiates off his palms and into your cheeks as he holds your face close to his, unable to resist the satisfaction and sweetness you were providing him. In this moment of intimacy, he loses all sense of realism and urgency - all he wants is you to himself, for the rest of the night until the sun rises. 
Then he’d have to worry about never seeing you again because his manager had chosen Gucci over LV. 
But right now, he has your heart and soul in his hands, as does his in yours. 
Being the romantic and (probably) egoistic man of a celebrity he is, he lowers himself and slides his arms where the back of your knees would be, somehow never breaking the kiss. The material of the gown dribbles over the cotton of his suit and your arm circles behind his neck, only minimizing the distance between the two of you. 
It feels like you’re getting married in this black and gold sparkly evening gown when he pushes the door open with his back. The scent of the room is inviting, but definitely none in comparison to the scent of his cologne beginning to stain your hands and your clothes. 
Gently resting you into the cool sheets of the bed, he pulls away to remove the Dior package off the bed, placing it on the mini coffee table by the bed. 
You were never one to deal with one night stands. Hell, the only person you’d ever slept with was some stupid kid back in the orphanage when your stupid teenage hormones were running-
He pulls off his blazer and leans in again, picking your awkward hands and resting them on the knot of his tie. His fingers are grazing the skin on your upper arm, trailing down to your cheek and then your hairline where he combs his hands through your hair. 
The knot on the tie comes undone with some slight tugs, and you slide it out from under his collar. Undoing only the first one, you rest your palms against his chest, creating a small rift where the air rushes to your lips where his should be.
He’s slightly stunned at the slightest breakage, but he is overwhelmed with more care and concern than he was upset. “Why? What’s wrong?” He traces your jaw and rests his fingers on your chin, noses almost touching.
“Are you sure... You want to do this? I can’t risk you losing your career,” Your index finger traces the likes of his cheekbone. “You barely just started.”
Hyunjae shakes his head subtly, taking your hands to his lips and pressing them into the back of your palm. “When I saw you in that room, I was... star struck. You’d think being the celebrity in the room would mean everything, but I felt like I was nothing if I didn’t know you, much less be able to get close to you.”
And for someone who hasn’t really had a biological family to love, his words stuck. 
“I just... knew. There are some things in the world you can work for, but I don’t think any amount of effort can give me you.”
His brown orbs find your gaze and it melts you thoroughly. Like ice cream on a hot day; like the way the ocean washes against the sand by the beach, taking grains of sand away with it - the same way Hyunjae was winning you bit by bit, if not already all of you. 
Your hands find his collar again, and it tightens around the stiff material to pull him back down. He smiles into the kiss, hands pressing into the mattress by your hair while you undo the rest of his buttons. His skin is hot under the shirt, blood running on the adrenaline and tension he was riding on from the intimacy. Muscles pumped and heart racing, you finally get his shirt off and he does you the honor of dropping it to the ground. 
He gives you time to gasp for air while he dips his nose into your neck, inhaling your perfume and the scent of the hotel shampoo in your hair. His back muscles tense up under your cold fingertips as you run them along his spine. It’s almost beast-like, when he flexes his arms and every single move shifts his shoulder blades under his skin. His lips leave gentle pecks in your neck and your exposed collar bone, letting goosebumps erupt all over your skin. 
His hand caresses your waist as a way of request, and you arch your back just enough for him to find the zipper on the back of your gown. The vibrations of the zip being pulled downwards already feels like little bolts of electricity up your spine, and the straps around your shoulders loosen with every inch unzipped. 
He’s done, when his fingers return to your shoulders to push the straps off. The cool air kisses your skin in spots where he isn’t touching with any part of his body. The silk of the gown gently slides off with every inch of a movement you make, more and more of your torso exposed to him. 
Sliding one of his arms under your lower back, he pulls you out of the dress instead of stripping you of it as he helps you further up the bed. Your hands press into the mattress in a bid to help him shift yourself without breaking the sloppy, messy kiss. Your back finally meets the pillows and he pushes the gown off the bed with his leg. 
Chin tilting to the ceiling, he finally creates some distance between the two of you, eyes drifting down to your collar bone and chest still covered. His palms are hot around your waist as he trails butterfly pecks on your cleavage, while your fingers find his hair to tousle and grip. 
Goosebumps start to surface when his breath is heavy on your stomach, then he reaches your underwear and it’s almost embarrassing to have him kiss you. 
Your clouded vision is manually stuck to the ceiling when you can feel your face burning with adrenaline. The tickle of the material when it gets pulled off your hips and down your legs bring your cheeks more color, and before you know it, Hyunjae has your breath hitched in your throat. 
He rests your thighs on his shoulders as he works his way around, the bare minimum sanity left inside you decides to grip onto the sheets instead of ripping out his hair. 
Chills shoot up your spine mercilessly, emanating in the form of lewd mewls directed into the air. The crown of your head meets the cushioned head board of the bed when his grip on your thighs tighten to keep you from squirming too much. 
Without warning, he drags a finger down your sensitiveness and slides it in easily, the sensation erupting a more-than-shameful groan from you. Pulling away, he adds another finger before shifting his attention back to your upper body, now eyeing the last piece of material covering your chest. But he captures your lips first to earn your attention, and your arms naturally find your way around his neck to keep him close. 
His free hand goes around your back to unhook your lingerie, and it’s nothing but a new addition to all the clothes on the carpet now. He removes his fingers, and breaks the kiss first, for the sole reason of giving you a perfect view of him licking his glistening skin. 
You can feel your brows furrow with frustration now, the warmth from him dissipating when he leans back on his heels in a kneeling position. By providing you a gorgeous view of his being while he undoes his belt, he’s only adding more fire to the fuel. 
It’s significant enough to stretch out the material of his boxers, and so he climbs over you as he removes his last bit of clothing. He harshly yanks you downwards into a lying position by your ankle, and the sharp friction against your back is an addition to the heat between the two of you. 
His breath is heavy on your lips as he rests his palms by your ears, weight pushing in the mattress. “Tell me if it hurts, love.”
Then he presses his lips into yours, like his life depended on it, and in one swift motion, he buries himself inside you like it was the most natural thing to do. 
You suck all the breath out of him as you gasp into the kiss, and he finds your arms to hook around his neck and shoulders. 
If you could feel the taste of honey throughout your body, this must be how it feels. 
He gives you some moments before he starts grinding his hips slowly, his palms finding your thighs and digging into your flesh as he hooks them around his hips. 
Breathless, you pull away first, whimpers in the back of your throat louder than what you would’ve expected. His nose dips into your neck again, arms now stretched out to use the headboard as support when he picks up the pace. 
Cursing under your breath, you feel guilty for the bliss that was spreading through you. Your nerves are all heightened by the adrenaline and your vision is blurred from the sole nature of the intimate act. 
He’s not fast, but every spot he’s hitting feels like cloud nine over and over again. 
Like a spark in the dark, the sacred spot reveals itself in the form of harsher breaths and groans. Your fingernails dig into his back and your thighs are losing stamina to remain wrapped around him. 
“That’s it,” He breaths into your ear, pressing a kiss into your lower jaw. “Come for me.”
Tremors burst through your body like lightning in a storm upon his request. He helps you ride it out with a few more thrusts before he pulls out himself, releasing on your stomach, chest heaving. 
Resting his forehead on yours, he smiles. “Let’s hope that one day I wouldn’t have to worry about pulling out.”
You scoff, slightly tired. “We’ll see.”
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You are woken up by the unfamiliar warmth you normally don’t have under the blanket. White sheets and tousled hair come into your field of vision before you can process the face, partially hidden, but eyes wide open.
“Jesus,” Your morning breath billows out between your lips and you swallow to dampen your dry throat. The room looks too damn bright for it to be morning. “What time is it?”
“7am. Don’t worry, we have plenty of time. My manager hasn’t called me so... we have time to spare.” 
You shuffle around under the sheets and your arms slide under the pillow where its cool. He shifts and pulls out his arm to rest on his tricep, palm under his ear and hair as he perches up his head. 
“What?” You pull the blanket up to your face and inhale the scent of it. It smells like him now. 
“You look pretty when you’re asleep.”
“What?” You frown, but a smile is on your lips. “How long did you watch me sleep for?”
“Not long, don’t worry. I’m not a perv.”
“Well, considering we just slept together after 24 hours of knowing one another-”
“Hey, we’re both about to be deported back to Korea to work. Give us a break, would you?” He groans and shifts again, this time trying to pull you into his chest. 
“Ah,” Snorting, you let him cradle you in his arms, his bare skin pressed warmly into yours. “‘Deport’? That’s what you call your job?”
“Only because you’re involved now,” He pecks you on the lips. “So... can I ask about your ‘administrative matters’ you said you needed to attend?”
Right. The orphanage is closing down. 
The guilt washes through you again. 
“Oh,” A look of seriousness overtakes your facials, and he notes the change in expression. “Um... I- Well... It’s an orphanage. It’s closing.”
He blinks at you, gaze filled with wander. “Were you a volunteer or...?”
Silence. 
You can’t bring yourself to say it. 
Unable to bear the incoming judgment he might provide you, your eyes dart away. 
“Hey, hey,” He finds your chin and tilts it back up to his attention. “What’s wrong? I don’t see anything wrong with being who you are. Why are you ashamed?”
“I... I’ve lived all my life with that label. ‘Orphan’. It only got better when I came out to work.”
“Is that why you are so worried? That... we might affect something and possibly implicate that?”
“Maybe.”
He sighs, thumb stroking your cheek as he shakes his head. “Nah. It shouldn’t matter.” Pulling your head into his chest, you can hear the steady thumping of his heart through his skin. “’Administrative matters’, huh? Are you like a... committee member or donator?”
“I’m an unofficial sponsor ambassador from LV. Well, LV was supposed to arrange for official funding, but they just never really had the time or resources to build the rapport. The orphanage was doing too badly for any company or brand to want to help and invest their attention on.”
“Mm,” He hums, stroking your hair. “I’m sorry about that. I truly am.”
“It’s okay. Nothing could’ve been done about it anyway. All I hope now is for the kids to be safe, no matter where they go.”
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It feels empty again, having Hyunjae being ripped from your side at the airport once the plane touched down. The manager was surprisingly not surprised to know that you had spent the night together, the only question he had asked being something that concerned a future pregnancy, which the two of you have already confirmed negative. 
It’s late when you reach back your apartment, and you ready yourself for the private meeting with the committee members of the orphanage. Though tired and severely jet-lagged, you cannot miss this meeting. It’s the last time you’ll see all the caretakers and members of the organisation in the same room.
You shift into the taxi in a new set of clothes, but topped with the Dior blazer and smelling like the Dior perfume, you feel like you were probably going to get slapped once you reach the meeting.
The building of the orphanage looks so run-down, it could be mistaken for a prison had it not been for the words HILDA’S ORPHANAGE in big, block letters above the entrance. Before you can exit the taxi, your phone starts vibrating in your purse.
It’s the President of the orphanage.
“I’m right outside the building, going in soon,” You push open the car door and thank the driver. 
“The meeting has been cancelled. Someone bought the orphanage and we’ll be managed under a new system.”
“What?”
“Surprise.” 
You turn around and see the last person you’d expect to see here, in his hands, a folder of documents and a small bouquet of flowers. 
“Um,” Your eyes are stuck to Hyunjae, but you’re still on the phone. “The buyer... Does it have anything to do with Gucci or F1?”
“Yes, it’s an F1 sponsorship but there will be more details into the managerial and planning system. Some things will have to change.”
“I’ll... I’ll call you back.”
Hyunjae watches you lock your phone in shock, attention unrivalled. He takes a few steps towards you and you now realise he’s still in the same clothes he was in on the plane. His eyebags are obvious but the prideful grin on his face makes him glow. 
Stopping about an arms’ length away from you, he holds out the folder.
“I checked with my manager and he checked with F1. They green-lit it, but on a few conditions. I heard them out before I told them it would be more likely than not you’d accept it, so here are the legal documents. All the terms and conditions and sponsor contract are already in here, so you and the President can sign it when you deem fit.”
Taking the folder, you didn’t even notice your hands are trembling as you flip through it. 
But your eyes flitter up from the page when you notice the printing: 
OWNER’S SIGNATURE (Y/N L/N): ____________________
“It’s yours if you sign it.”
Now, he holds out the bouquet. “I thought of putting it under my name but I don’t want you to think you owe me a favour and have it bugging you all the time.”
Gently shaking your head, as if you could shake out the surprise, you close the file and look to him in awe. “But I’ll still owe you, big time. This is... this is everything, so thank you.”
He sucks in a deep breath and shakes the bouquet of flowers a little. 
“You can return the favour by going out with me. Properly, whenever I have time, and I promise, no Dior packages.”
Taking the bouquet into hand, you throw your arms around his shoulders, tears welling in your eyes.
568 notes · View notes
just-some-random-blogger · 4 years ago
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Bootylicious
Stray Kids Bang Chan x Idol!Reader Summary: You're known as the gym rat in your group, and quite frankly, you only have two moods: shredding or chilling. This was why when you're not asleep in between schedules, you're spotted with a male idol you happened to meet in the gym you were at that day. It's a known fact though, that you and Bang Chan are gym buddies and each other's spotter. Word Count: 2k+ Warnings: Internet toxicity, sasaengs, vulgar language, sexism, misogyny, pining, fluff, mentions of Pentagon because why not <3, etc.
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A/N: Girl, i shouldn't do this but I did. It's so funny to me someone requested this cause I have recently become an exercise junkie lol. Also, if you can't tell, there is a pov shift after the cut so yeah. I also wanted to keep the reader gender neutral but I want to write about how psychotically different people treat male and female idols because that stuff aint it. It's most definitely not what anon was expecting me to write but I hope they enjoy it nonetheless.
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There's compilation in YT with growing parts centered around you flexing your physical fitness and prowess. It ranges from you affectionally touring your fans, which really meant the cameraman, through the gym, introducing your trainer, and doing your routine on camera, to your group (and others) both fawning and bragging about how strong and how hot you are.
CLIP #1: A scene from an interview of your group in Japan, struggling to talk about how you can do 40 straight push ups.
There was a male interviewer in a suit you could all faintly recognize was talking about your recent Instagram post of a gym mirror selfie.
One of your youngest members smirked and in broken Japanese, cutely said, "Wah, she does 100 push ups! Everyday, every night."
You snap your head to the maknae and raise your brows, "nani?" You begin to shake your hands in protest and begin to explain your truth, "absolutely not 100. Maybe around 40, but nooooo, not 100."
The interviewer and your group comically react in awe. The man in the suit urges, "can you show us?"
You give a face, "Excuse me, but I'm not getting paid to do that in this miniskirt."
Everyone, including the film crew, break into laughter.
CLIP #2: A scene from a variety show where you had to prove you were, in fact, yourself, by doing a shortened version of your exercise routine.
One of the hosts of the show asks, "Wait, do you honestly do all of this in your workout? Like you can do all of it?"
The list of your exercises were written on a colourful cardboard, held by the one who just spoke. It was a range of exercises in 10 sets, from jumping jacks to sit ups, to vague sounding exercises like crab pinches and robot arms.
You purse your lips at the last question asked of you, not really liking the tone in which it was asked. You answer quickly and nod proudly, "I actually do more, cause when I get in the zone and I'm already really sweaty, I feel like I should keep going until my whole body burns." You chuckle.
The older hosts, tilt their head and mutter lowly under their breath something along the lines of, "I'd rather die."
You finally do the routine, quickly, continuously, earning impressed reactions from everyone.
"That's hot," one of the hosts note.
"Ya, for some reason it looks easy to do."
The hosts begin to clamour at that statement, and force whoever said to do the exact thing you did. Clearly, they don't work out as much as you do and cannot even get halfway through it without stopping.
You break out into a breathless laugh in amusement of the comical attempt but then protest, explaining how bad it is to force yourself to do more than you can
CLIP #3: Pentagon, Hongseok especially, fawns over how fit you are
Trailing a conversation about how your group is close with Pentagon because your companies are situated closely to each other and you wind up eating together a lot, there is an anecdote about how there was a jar no one could open, no one but you, that is.
The interviewer asks no one in particular, "wah, none of you could open the jar? Really? Or did you all just pretend so she could open it?"
There is a chorus of answers concluding with, "no really, she was the only one that was able to open it."
The story is backed up by how the jar had a really small lid and some hands were too big. Then came an explanation how you were recently into the new rock climbing machine in your gym.
Hongseok speaks up, "I was invited to go to rock climbing in, like, an actual rock climbing place and I was honestly so surprised when she began to climb. She said she never actually tried rock climbing on a wall, but it seemed like she had been doing it for years."
Shinwon agrees, "Right, right. I was also really curious about what they did that day," he points to Hongseok, "that I joined them one time. I never felt so out of shape in my life. I just stayed back and filmed everything."
Pentagon laughs, and then agrees that you were exceptionally fast and just super fit in all honesty.
The interviewer catches Hongseok's expression then suddenly asks, "do you like a woman like that?"
"Yeah, I like my women strong."
Then came a lot of teasing remarks from Pentagon, and a plethora of complaints from delusional fans who did not want Hongseok to ever breathe in your direction again.
With all that's been said about that, in all the parts of this series floating around in the internet, one thing remained, there was a slightly larger population of impressed fans than the still large portion of antifans who wanted nothing to do with it and only came around to hate.
It's hard not to think about it, but even the slightest back handed compliment can sometimes linger in one's mind.
And right now, as much as I kept my mind on my counting as I finished my set high knees, I couldn't help but think of how much backlash I got from posting a post workout photo with my midriff exposed.
Apparently that was not only enough to merit hate for being both a whore and an attention whore, but people baselessly began to hate on my groupmates simply for being associated with me.
It's kind of sad really, how, say Wonho, can post a fairly exposed photo of himself and get so much praise for it, and yet I couldn't even do anything remotely close to that.
And I don't even mean to come at Wonho, we all know he's a beast at the gym and should be able to show as much of his hard work as he is comfortable in showing, but why can't I?
"Hey trooper. I thought you said you were only doing 80 counts?" a voice cracks me out of my train of thought.
I turn to whom spoke and chuckle at myself as I stop my leg raises, "ah yeah, I got lost in thought, and your really good song."
I pull on my earphones and give a lopside smile, "I love working out to God's Menu."
He gives a soft, "he he, thanks."
"No need for a thank you when I'm only giving my honest opinion, Chan."
"Yeah, well still, it makes my kokoro go doki-doki," he sniggers, crossing his arms and flashing a dimpled smile. I raise my upper lip and reel back, "EWWW!"
I playfully shove him. He acts hurt, "this is violence against children."
"Chan, you're literally older than me."
"That doesn't mean I'm not a child at heart."
"You mean, it doesn't mean you're not a drama queen."
"Hey, I have no interest in having a throne, my only interest is," he leans in and whispers, "you."
I feel my soul leave my body as he snorts to himself and runs away. I regurgitate in surprise, "YA!"
"You better do your next set properly," Chan says heading off to a cable row machine, "I'm always watching."
I try to ignore the blood rushing up your neck, "creep."
He shrugs, "rather that or have you get injured, sweet heart."
Yeah, Chan has saved me from a lot of injuries I could have had. It was a bad habit. It stemmed from the same thing that made me mess up my count a while ago, my overthinking.
Sometimes I thought of rather harmless things, but sometimes I began to fixate on the hate I received for simply being. I do a lot to get my mind to realize that they hated me simply because they could and because it was easy. Exercising helped tremendously, especially when I had someone fun to work out with, especially when I was with Chan. He just... made me feel safe, y'know.
But when the news of us being work out buddies surfaced, a lot of sasaengs came for me. Of course, a lot of Stays and my own fans were really kind about, speaking out that we were our own people and exercising together did not mean anything in particular really.
But some really went for it, and made it a hobby to comment on everything I was in that I was a slut for 'working out' with different men every day."
I let out a breath as I finish my routine. I catch my breath and go for a swig of my water. I take a moment then sit down by the mirror, which was near where Chan was currently working out.
"You're doing it again."
I turn from where I was blankly staring at turn to Chan who gave me a soft look, "you good?"
I release a sigh then purse my lips, "maybe."
He pouts, "what happened?"
I shrug and stand from where I sat, "you know, the usual."
Chan then comes up to me and takes my water bottle from me, "you know, no matter how much people say you don't need water to live, you can never change the fact that you are extremely dependent on water to live."
I look at him and half- heartedly point, "are you calling me thirsty?"
He begrudgingly groans and releases a chuckle. He calls my name out in a scolding tone. I feel myself relax, "I know what you're getting at Chan."
He nods, "good. I'll always be here to remind you of that."
I smile and feel an urge to hug him, "if you weren't so sweaty, I would totally hug you right now."
Chan then gives me a look then does not hesitate to crush me into his arms. I groan and whine in protest. He chuckles, "you literally just said you wanted a hug!"
"YOU'RE LITERALLY SO SWEATY. NO ONE WANTS THIS TORTURE."
Chan huffs and gives a wounded look, "hmp. You better spot me while I lift or else I'm unfriending you."
"Hmm... I think I'll be good without you as a friend."
I half expect Chan to whine about it, but he instead smirks, "ahhhh, you must want me to be your boyfriends so badly huh."
I- I mean...
CLIP #4: A crack edit of Chan when he gets asked about his gym relationship with me in Chan's Room.
He was looking through the questions and suddenly chuckles, his ears noticeably began to redden. Cue a zoom in of his face and his red ears. Cue a clip of Cardi B saying, "that's suspicious."
He says my name then continues, "am I close with her? Yeah. I would say I'm close with her-- and her whole group actually."
Captioned: Nice save, Chris.
"The kids and I are close with her group," he says, clearing his throat.
A clip of him clearing his throat is repeated about ten times.
Chan adjust the beanie he was wearing as he thinks of what he was going to say next, "we actually do work out together a lot because she's under a trainer that works with my trainer."
Captioned: Sure, Chan. That's the only reason, right?
Chan catches another question, "Is she a beast in the gym like Hongseok says?" He breaks into a laugh. He then rubs his cheek and grits his teeth.
A clip of someone saying, "Oh he's jealous," flashes on screen.
"Yeah," Chan finally says, "she's got a really high stamina."
Cue the clip, WHAT DID HE SAY?
Chan continues, "she can go between exercises without stopping. she doesn't even take that much time to catch her breath. In fact, she sings while exercising sometimes, which helps make her vocals stable."
Captioned: Queen Tingz.
The next thing that happens is Chan breaks into a laugh and begins to chuckle. He says, "Sorry I saw a funny comment."
Captioned: WHAT HE MEANS IS HE SAW A COMMENT SAYING 'SHUT UP CHRIS, YOU'RE WHIPPED."
Then came these comments:
LITERALLY LOOK AT HOW FLUFFY BANG CHAN GETS WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT HER DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME MY SHIP IS ALIVE
They are dating period. prove me wrong. you cant
Chan literally blushes over anything, buT HE TURNED INTO A TOMATO WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT HER BYE
if you hate on your faves loving each other, you most definitely need Jesus (:
PLEASE CAN YOU SEE HOW WHIPPED THEY ARE FOR EACH OTHER
Yeah... it's not been confirmed to this day.
447 notes · View notes
harfanfare · 4 years ago
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Pomegranate Rule || Idia Shroud x Reader
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Obligatory pair work with someone you like very much on a school project and have a chance to fall for each other more? - cliché.
The difference with Idia was that he kidnapped his project partner.
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Idia leaned out from behind the column, whispering words of encouragement and summoning up the plan of this meeting he compiled at yesterday’s evening. He practised this conversation all night in front of the mirror, but as soon as he gained confidence, he forgot the text and desperately searched for the next line in the script.
There was a faint blush on his pale cheeks. Not from the sun, not from the fatigue, but nervousness. He hadn't left his room for someone in a long time, and what he was about to do required from him new social skills...
…to ask you to be his project partner, that’s it.
Ortho stood right next to Idia, leaning out from behind his older brother's silhouette and shifting his gaze once at the courtyard, once at him.
Idia cuffed his fingers on the sleeves of the sweatshirt.
Ortho's presence helped him a lot to keep on the promise he made to himself: today he will actually talk to you not on the phone, but face-to-face and suggest that you could do Sir Crewel’s project together.
He knew that you didn’t have a pair, since Grim went off where he could bug Adeuce combo, and even if he didn’t, you two would be counted as one student. But, to at least make some progress, you were picking up leaves you suspected to be just right for the experiment.
With each bush, you were getting closer and closer to the column behind which Idia was hiding, and he knew that if he won’t hurry with his proposal, someone will enter the square, dispatch the last pieces of Idia's courage and disperse you, and take you away.
For example someone like Epel and Jack, who have just entered the courtyard using the entrance on the opposite side.
This coincidence seemed to Idia to be as unfortunate as if all the forces of the world wanted to stop him from what he was planning and yet to validate his theory that it was not worth ever leave his room. On the other hand, since he was already here, and it took him a good few dozen attempts to motivate himself, he could not lose this unstarted game.
Idia, in an act of desperation, rushed towards you, hoping that the first-graders would not notice you.
You both keel over into the bushes as Jack and Epel headed towards you.
"Jack Howl, Epel Felmier!" Ortho greeted them, distracting all possible attention from the bushes that had just been approached by two people, both unaware of what was going on. "How is your project going? What topic did you choose?”
"Ortho-kun! What are you doing here?” Epel replied, coming closer to the young Shroud.
As Ortho distracted them with a conversation, Idia had an intimidating thought: what would happen if they saw your two in the bushes? He was madly blushing at the scenarios that created in his head. He put his hand on your lips—he was afraid that you would say anything that would attract unwanted attention—he slipped with you through the empty corridors to the dorm of Ignihyde.
…He forgot to explain what he was doing, and it likely looked like him committing a crime, but nothing will happen if he explains everything in his room, right...?
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You were able to ask Idia what was he doing, once he closed the doors. Till then, on every question you asked he hissed “Sheesh! Do you want us to be found?!” and “P-please! Let us get to headquarters where I will… explain the mission…”.
Soon enough, you found yourself in his room; electronics was the main source of light, and the screens glowed bright blue around them. Although you didn't see any exposed windows or lamps lit to illuminate the room, everything was clearly visible.
There was a mess there, a mixture of the cardboard disorder that prevails after moving a house and the chaos of a man whose constantly working on something, desk always cluttered with papers, pens and documents.
You were sure you would stand on some lost Lego block or pin if you put your foot behind the bed where Idia has set you down.
“So, Idia,” you started. “…What exactly I am doing in your room?”
"Uh, well...” he stuttered, trying to remember the speech from yesterday's practices. “I wish I would know what you're doing here... I mean- I know why I brought you here. I wanted to ask you something. Ask, yes.”
"Ask? About what?” you didn't mention that you can ask outside of your own room, and you wasn’t going to correct that.
Idia tried to explain the whole situation. He skipped the preparation process, his speeches and ideas, he didn’t even mention the project, so all he said was hard-to-understand, abstract justification from the current situation.
He said, at least, that he came up with the idea to take you somewhere further away, where there were no people, as first-grades entered the courtyard.
“So I'm here by accident?" you asked after listening to Idia, slightly cocking your head at the side. “I don't understand…”
“It was an accident. A bit,” he wanted to loudly groan at his helplessness but finally bit his tongue. “I didn't want you here. I mean, I wanted to, but I didn't plan on it. I mean- Aah, it’s so hard to explain!”
You waited in silence, only nodding, letting him take his time.
"Sorry, I just... I feel weird talking to you...” Idia admitted, lowering his head.
The definition of Idia’s "weirdness" was different from yours.
When you heard that he was calling you strange, you felt a pang in your heart. Really? After so many months of acquaintance and quite frequent texting on the phone, when finally there was one of those few moments when you could talk face-to-face, he says it's awkward?
The "weirdness" of that feeling in Idia was something he could not explain easily: the joy of talking to you, anxiety that he would say something wrong, an uncertainty that you would change your mind and stop talking to him, excitement because he knew how interesting person you are and the frustration for every accurate, teasing comment…
"Oh, I see," you tried not to sound depressing. "So let me leave.”
"No, wait, that's not what I meant..!”
Oh, no. Idia’ plan went downhill again.
Idia jumped to a drawer and started looking for something in it, digging through notebooks, cables and lost items.
“...Don't worry, Idia, we can end this conversation on the phone... or something.”
“No, no, no, wait, please!” discreetly took out a round metal box before he dashed to you, blocking the only way out, heavy equipment surrounding you that now seemed to be an impassable wall.
"Uh?"
He took the hard candy from the container he took from the shelf, though he did it so subtly, forcing himself to stare at you and keep your gaze from tearing away from him, so you couldn’t notice candy in his hand.
They were pomegranate drops that had been presented to him as a funny joke from a student who knew that a box, just like its contents, was enchanted by Vil's unique magic: whoever tasted them will not be able to move more than twenty meters from the place the fruit drop was eaten.
Haha, because you know, the members of Ignihyde don't go outside and won't even notice they were cursed.
Idia was sure that even Vil did not know that the candies had fallen into his hands.
"Huh? What are you-“
As soon as you opened your mouth, Idia pressed fruit drop up to your lips and covered them with his hand, in case you tried to spit it out. His movements became very mechanical and heavy, probably most of his muscles were strained. Because of that, you also couldn't push him away.
He only stepped out of your way you once swallowed the candy.
And so you were bound by a spell that you discovered the moment Idia let you towards the door. You stopped more than a meter from them, unable to even grasp the doorknob.
You swung your hand a few times as if not believing that none of your movements was moving you forward.
“Idia. I know we should talk, but by cutting me off from the door?”
Surprise with this solution, Idia's embarrassed smile, dripping sweat from the stress he felt, and a sudden dose of delicious sugar made you burst into laughter.
“This. Is. Great.” You accented each word, becoming more and more amused with each one as if you had just heard the best joke of the era. “Is it the fault of those drops?”
Idia, surprised by your reaction, finally relaxed. Your sudden, inexplicable outburst, hearty laugh calmed him down a lot. He even came to the conclusion that he really likes the way you laugh.
Ortho soon entered the room. You two shortened the story and explained that you probably have to stay here for the night.
"Oh, so nii-san finally asked you to do a project with him?"
“Project...?” you repeated. Then you turned your head to Idia and smirked at him. “So that was what it was for?”
He answered you with a shrug as if last day Idia didn’t have any thoughts screaming “Project!” and that followed by “[Name]!”.
However, Ortho said it for him.
Idia, of course, tried to stop him, but Ortho knew how much time his brother spent just planning to talk to you. A wave of shame flooded Idia as you listened to Ortho's words with interest. And maybe with a pinch of delight spilling over your heart—Idia did so much for you! You could feel the flush on your face and a smile spread across your lips every time you heard about Idia's efforts.
Soon after, after the excitement of this conversation had died down and you thanked Idia for his planning efforts, a package of cookies and biscuits was opened. You couldn't go to the cafeteria to eat anything, and even ordinary snacks from school vending machines taste better in pleasant company, right?
“We haven't had many opportunities to talk like that, have we?"
You took a sip of the warm tea Idia had made—it was incredibly bitter but chilled enough not to burn your tongue—and watched the screen where Idia was working.
He pushed himself away from writing some codes with some slowness, but he didn't look at you.
“You're right...”
After a pause, he started speaking again, this time in a whisper, but you heard him very clearly.
"I've always admired you, [Name]-shi..." he said, pressing his knees against his chest. “Talking to so many different people and solving their problems... I often find it tedious and self-righteous to interfere in the affairs of others, however…. Everything you do always ends well. I-I couldn't do that.”
“I should be saying it!” You said after a moment of silence as if you were processing words you completely didn't suspect him of. “You deal with electronics like a professional. Wait, you are the professional! How many programming languages have you already mastered? How many devices have you already created? You have a wonderful talent and... even your brother little is proof of it.”
You both looked at Ortho connected to specialized equipment. "CHARGING" was displayed on the screen, and by minutes the numbers were close to 100%.
Idia didn't smile at your words—instead he seemed incredibly focused. With each passing second, he had a more and more sincere expression of pleasant frustration, which was also reflected in his long hair behind which he tried to hide his face.
He couldn't even answer and just nodded.
"And... I have to confess to something," you began after another minute of pleasant silence, which you felt sorry to interrupt. "If you previously seemed quite average to me, maybe even a little pale-faced, now I know that you are special."
These words were already his limit. He couldn't take his eyes off you, forgot how to breathe, forgot how to blink, and his lungs refused to cooperate.
His heart crashed for good after your next words.
"So... if you please," you got up and smiled at him. “Idia Shroud, will you do me this honour and become my project partner?”
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"The curse already faded.”
You could reach the door and go to the farthest corners of the room. You could leave.
The project has been completed. With the light help of Ortho, who also wanted to contribute to the project, by two in the morning, you finished doing experiments, writing out data, conclusions and completing them with graphic documentation.
And then you played games for the next three hours; each game was digital and very engaging—it wasn't for Ortho, you and Idia wouldn't fall asleep even for a minute. Even when you went to bed—and there was a whole five-minute debate about where you were going to sleep—you talked in whispers about everything and nothing until one of you fell asleep.
Even if the attachment to Vil's magic was gone, you couldn't deny that you became attached to a certain blue-haired boy who followed the last lines of your conclusions with his golden eyes.
It was really fun.
He and Ortho probably would have done this project faster, but the collaboration of the three—you, Ortho and Idia—seemed so pleasant that if he could, he would do it once again. Even if that meant another research about hyper-difficult projects Crewel liked to torture his students with.
"I will come again," you said as suddenly as if you were reading his mind. He flinched at those words, and your tone of voice changed to a more biting tone. “You don't have to kidnap me this time.”
"I d-didn't..." he tried to deny but was stuck on the next words. “...Really? Will you really come here?”
“Your charm bound me more than candy, I can promise you,” you gave him one last smile before you closed the door behind you and rushed through the corridor with a strange, blissful feeling, looking forward to your next project.
So did he.
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dreamescapeswriting · 4 years ago
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All Bets Are Off ~ YJG & LMH [Request]
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WORD COUNT:3.3.k
PAIRING: Jeongin x Fem!Reader x Minho
GENRE: Angst, fluffy ending, swearing
A/N: I hope you like this, I sort of went for a different way of writing it so I hope you like it and understand it 
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"Did you hear about Jeongin?" You looked up from the makeup palette you were using to see some of the other stylists all crowding around one another as they spoke in hushed tones, the mention of his name sent shivers down your spine. It was as if someone had just taken a cup of freezing cold water and poured it down your back bringing you into a harsh reality that was the real world,
"I wouldn't worry too much," Sana spoke softly as she noticed the worried look spreading across your face, after working with you for almost all of her career she was able to read you like a book, she knew every look you gave meant something and this was a worried one. The simple mention of Jeongin's name made you want to burst into tears at any given moment but you couldn't, you couldn't let on that what they were gossiping about was about you and Jeongin not only was it embarrassing but it would also lead you to get fired on the spot. 
"There's always some kind of gossip, but it's nothing." She reminded you as she placed her hand on top of yours, running her smooth pale skin to try and calm you down but nothing was working. Your skin was starting to feel clammy as you heard the gossip getting louder and louder, normally the gossiping would go over your head but this time you knew it was going to be about you and Jeongin. The more they spoke the harder your heart began to beat against your chest, so hard it felt as though it was going to spring out of your chest as you slowly placed down the brush you had been using on Sana's face, 
"I heard it was a stylist," One of them giggled before looking around the room, none of them had any idea what was truly going on. They only knew what they had heard and even that wasn't the full truth, the only people who knew the truth were you, Jeongin, Sana, Nayeon and Minho and the boys Jeongin had created this whole thing with, you didn’t want the entire JYP Entertainment company knowing the in’s and out’s of your personal life, 
"Do you want to go and get some air?" Nayeon questioned as she noticed how faint you began to look, there were beads of sweat beginning to collect on your forehead and all you could do was nod your head in answer to her. Both her and Sana got up before taking you out of the room and headed towards the quiet room so you could take a minute to yourself. 
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Breathing heavily you tried not to look out of the glass walls of the quiet room instead you were trying to focus on Nayeon and Sana as they tried to calm you down,
"You need to forget about them, they don't know it's you." Nayeon reminded you as she cupped your face in her hands, running her small fingers under your eyes to remove the tears that you hadn't even noticed had begun running down your cheeks. 
"It's not even that big of a deal, it'll blow over soon," Sana reminded you but you weren't listening to them now, your eyes were locked onto Jeongin as he came down the hall out of one of the studios. The boys were standing with him laughing about something, all you could think about was them laughing at you even if it wasn't what they were doing. They were lost in conversation with one another but as soon as Jeongin saw you staring at him he froze in place, this was the first time he'd seen you around the building in months. He figured you'd quit but seeing you there brought back all of the emotions he had for you, another pair of eyes made their way to yours as he saw you sitting with the girls. Minho. As soon as you saw him it was like a wave of relief washed over your body and the panic you had been feeling about Jeongin suddenly disappeared from your mind as Minho gave you a small reassuring smile. Jeongin frowned as he saw you staring behind him, he glanced over his shoulder to his Hyung as he scoffed, storming off in the direction he was going originally. The girls had been hiding you whenever Jeongin came around asking to speak to you, there was no way you were ever going to be able to face him or even speak to him after what he did to you what he put you through for the last year of your life. All of the times you spent together came crashing back into you like a wave hitting the sand, even if Minho was by your side nothing could stop you from feeling the hurt you experienced with Jeongin and every time you looked at the young Maknae it hit you over and over again.
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Things between you and Jeongin had been going great, you were dating in secrecy since it was in your contract that you weren't allowed to date any of the idols that worked for JYP Entertainment and you had signed and agreed to that. Dating wasn't a problem since you seemed to get along with all of the idols really well, Stray Kids treated you like a sister as did the members of Itzy and Twice since you worked with them the most. 
"Hey, are we still meeting at the dorms?" Jeongin whispered in your ear as he ran his hands up and down your side, you let out a shaky breath as you nodded at his question, Jeongin was the only one that didn't treat you like a sister since you guys were together.
"It'll be just the two of us, Channie-Hyung is working late and the boys have agreed to let me have the place to myself," He placed a quick kiss on your shoulder before moving away from you, going to sit down on the sofa that was inside the styling room you were working in. You were currently practising some of the hairstyles for Twice on a mannequin head so you could make sure you had it perfect when it came to doing live shows. 
"You're doing great, you've been getting better ever since you got here." That was Jeongin for you, always trying to make sure you felt confident in everything that you were doing in the company. You were an apprentice stylist getting paid below the minimum to train there while working alongside some of the greatest idols and stylists in the business,
"You have to say that, you're my boyfriend." You rolled your eyes at him as you continued to pin some of the curls onto the head of the doll and then spraying it with some glitter hairspray before stepping back to look at it from behind. 
"I would tell you if it looked bad, you know I would." He pressed his lips against your ear as you let out another shaky breath, he knew what all of his small touches and kisses did to you but he never acted on any of them. It was all part of the game for him, he was just going along with the game he and some of the boys had arranged with one another and so far you were falling into the trap. The two of you had been together for almost a year now which meant it was time for all of this to come undone soon but as the date drew nearer Jeongin couldn't help but want to postpone the day and tell the boys that the bet was off. That he couldn't break up with you because he was starting to fall in love with you for real but he knew they would laugh at him, and joke about it. The bet was to see who could date you the fastest and break up with you within a year, Jeongin won the dating side and decided he was going to make it a painful breakup until he got to know you. The more he got to know you over the past year the more he began to realise how much of an awful person he was for making this game with you, you had human emotions you weren't just some toy for him and the boys to play with whenever they got bored but it was too late now, he was too far into the "relationship" to tell you what it really was and he didn't want the boys to laugh at him and call him whipped over someone he barely knew but he knew you. He felt he knew you well enough to fall in love with you and what did it matter if it was all some kind of joke, to begin with? It wasn't as if you had to know the details, he could just tell the boys it was off and that would be it, you'd never have to know about it or the money that was included in the bet.
"Everything okay Innie?" You questioned as you glanced over at him, his face was pale as he stared down at your feet clearly he was thinking hard about something since he hadn't heard what you asked him. Waving your hand in front of his face you waited for him to snap out of the daydream but when he did he jumped up from the seat, 
"I need to go and talk the boys," He stuttered out nervously as he looked at you, smiling at you as he leant forward to give you a quick kiss in the empty styling room only for you to playfully hit him with a brush, 
"Go before you get us caught," You hissed at him, giggling as you watched him running away from you and down the hall, the giggle you let out filled him with hope as he raced to find the boys hoping they hadn't left already. 
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As you were leaving the building you walked by one of the studios when you heard Jeongin's voice sounding strained as he spoke back and forth with someone, you knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but when you heard your name you wanted to see what it was all about.
"Look, it wasn't our idea to make her fall in love with you, all you had to do was date her," Felix said as he looked at a worried-looking Jeongin, he'd come to the boys for advice, telling them that the bet was off but they claimed there wasn't just a way out of it since they'd all put money down into it. 
"You can't tell me you're starting to have real feelings for her," You heard Seungmin laugh loudly as he spoke to Jeongin, Jeongin added an awkward laugh as he began to scratch the back of his neck playing it off as though he was playing a trick on the boys.
"No! Of course, not. I was joking, I'm going to do it tonight." He laughed looking between Felix and Seungmin as he tried not to seem as bothered about this as he was. The bet was between the three of them, they didn't want the older boys getting involved since they got along with you the boys, Chan looked out for you like you were his twin sister and Seungmin knew damn well how Minho felt about you. Minho had been in love with you since you started working for JYP, he'd never been able to keep his eyes off you but the two of you were nothing more than friends.
"Besides, she's just a stylist you need someone better than that." As soon as Felix said that you felt your heart clench as you thought about what they were talking about and that was when you heard it, 
"₩700,000, is a lot of money Jeongin and it's all yours. All you have to do is break up with her before the end of the week," The way Seungmin spoke so apathetically made you shiver, normally they were the sweetest guys in the group but hearing this only made you want to throw up. 
"You decided to get in on this, we didn't force you to ask Y/n out, you did it and now you have to dump her before the time is up," Felix said smugly as he turned to leave the room, you gasped as you darted out in the other direction sliding yourself into a different studio as tears rolled down your cheeks. 
"Y/n?!" Minho asked in a panicked tone as soon as he saw you crying, he dropped what he was doing and walked over to you placing his hand on your arm but you flinched away from him.
"Y-You can give it up! I know you're all in on it right?!" You choked out a sob as you wiped your face, moving away from the door and from Minho as you shook your head. 
"You think just because I'm not some famous Idol that I don't have feelings?!" Minho stepped away as you yelled out at him, he'd never heard you raise your voice to anyone before and now you were crying and screaming about feelings.
"What are you talking about?" He tried to steady you but you weren't having any of it, 
"You can quit pretending, I know Jeongin only asked me out because you all bet he could dump me within a year. I get it. I'm the joke," But the look on Minho's face read that he had no idea what you were talking about but that he was angry about it, his face was getting redder by the second. 
"They did what?" You stopped sniffling as you turned to look up at him wondering why he hadn't known about the bet but he heard laughter coming from down the hall and he stormed out of the studio you were standing in. 
"Jeongin!" His voice boomed and it almost sounded as deep as Felix's did as the Maknae froze in place, turning to look at you and Minho. Your eyes were bloodshot as you continued to silently cry into a tissue, 
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"Everything okay, babe?" Minho put his hand on Jeongin's chest to stop him from coming any closer to you, he didn't want Jeongin to be near you in this state. 
"Don't call her babe, don't pretend that this is real when she's just heard you betting money on who could date her and dump her!" Jeongin flinched, he'd seen Minho angry before but never this level of anger and he didn't like this side of his Hyung. 
"Are you stupid? Incredibly sensitive or just a complete and utter idiot?!" Felix and Seungmin came out of the room they had been standing in to see what was going on outside when they saw Jeongin, his body was slumped down as he stared at the floor not looking at either you or Minho as he yelled at him. 
"Answer the question!" Minho demanded, his anger boiling up even more at the thought of someone hurting you emotionally or physically. 
"I- I wasn't thinking when I agreed to it," Jeongin mumbled as he still couldn't look up,
"Please! Minho is only angry because he's in love with Y/n." Seungmin spat out making you tense up as Minho turned to him next, 
"You know what, yeah I am but that doesn't mean that you get to toy around with someone's emotions! Do you have any idea how fucked up that is?!" Sana and Nayeon came out of their dressing rooms when they heard the yelling, they took one look at you before dragging you into a friendly embrace while Minho continued to get into a heated argument with Jeongin about what he had done. 
"We were bored," Seungmin mumbled, rolling his head back against the wall as if he didn't care what he had done, 
"You were bored?" Minho scoffed, running his tongue along his teeth as he shook his head, 
"I'm bored sometimes but you don't see me going around and betting money on people's feelings...You make me sick, give me one good reason I shouldn't tell Chan what you've done!?" Jeongin's eyes locked with yours and then to Minho as panic ran through his body,
"Because I'm in love with her, for real...I love her and I...I wanted to call this whole thing off but the boys weren't going to let me," He explained but you didn't look up from Nayeon's arms, you felt nothing when he said he loved you. 
"You should have thought about that before you got into this mess," Minho snapped, watching as Felix and Seungmin walked over to you, apologising before leaving without another word to one another.
"Y/n I'm sorry...I just-" You slapped Jeongin across the cheek as he tried to speak to you, you knew that violence was never the answer but right now it was what he deserved for ripping your heart out and stamping it into the ground. 
"Do you think you can forgive me?" You stared into his eyes as you watched tears roll down his face, you searched them for any sign of sincerity that he meant that he was sorry and you knew he was but it didn't mean you could accept this. 
"No. I can't...Maybe if you had told me about it instead of laughing behind my back things would have been different but now?" You looked him up and down before sniffling, 
"Now I can't even look at you," You whispered turning into a sob as you walked away with Sana and Nayeon to find a girls bathroom where you could clean yourself up for the night.
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"Hey," Minho whispered as he replaced Nayeon and Sana in the quiet room, the two of them going off to change before heading home. 
"Hi," You whispered back to him, leaning your head on his shoulder as you tried to come down from the small panicky feeling you had experienced. Minho placed his hand over yours, locking your fingers together as you both sat down on the stools in the room. 
"It'll get easier to look at him, I promise." He whispered to you as he traced small patterns into your hand with his fingertips, just having him this close to you made you feel so much better. The two of you had been dating for a month, deciding to try it out together and it was working. 
"I don't know how you do it," You laughed sarcastically as you looked up at Minho through your lashes, he and Jeongin had gone back to acting as though nothing had happened, in fact, the whole of the Maknae line were pretending it never happened and the money was never spoken about again. That was of course after Jeongin tried to give it to you as an apology but you told him you wanted nothing to do with that part of your life anymore.
"I can tell how sorry he is, it doesn't mean I forgive him for hurting you it just means I'm capable of letting it pass but if he hurts you again I'll break his knees," You laughed at him and shook your head at him, 
"No, you won't. He's your friend, you should go though." You nudged him as you noticed the boys manager staring at you through the glass walls of the quiet room, 
"I'll make it up to you, your place tonight?" He questioned as if there was any other place you would go together. The two of you would always hang out at your apartment since you didn't have the bravery to head to the dorms just yet. 
"Yeah, bring food." You ordered as he walked out of the door, sending you a playful wink as he walked away from you.
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Tagline: @taestannie @kneel-begyourpardon @sw33tnight @acciocriativity @mwitsmejk @minholuvs​
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studiojeon · 3 years ago
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troubled outsiders | intro - jjk
| summary | -  how you two end up pining for each other.
warnings: none :) 
content: idol!jungkook x student!oc, friends to lovers (because it’s THE superior trope okurrrt), jungkook is quiet and shy but a social butterfly when needed (and when it comes to oc but you’re not supposed to know that yet), oc is both a badass and a socially akward queen, she has TWO friends and only because one is dating the other (like... same), the Lee Charyeong is her bestie, oc works at bighit and feels like everyone either fears her or hates her, author nim is a crackhead and has no plot planned for this series whatsoever (doesn’t know if she’ll keep this up, we’ll see).
words: 1.93 k
His presence was overwhelming, to say the least. Even if he were surrounded by six hundred other equally handsome men, somehow, to you (and the majority of the female population, at that point) he was as captivating and magnetic as they come. Jeon Jungkook didn't pay no mind to no one, but sure as hell everyone became hyper aware of his existence and essence in time. And that didn’t exclude you.
Yet, as nonchalant and indifferent as the man could be perceived, in reality he was more considerate and friendly than the aura he exuded. You knew this because working in the same company had to teach a thing or two about the people who literally carried said company and the whole industry at some point, still you barely knew four or three people, including your assistant and Jungkook, whom you had met once.
The opportunity of working at the company had come to you out of the blue, quite literally, you were attempting to send one of your assignments in when an email appeared in your notifications during your sailor moon study break. 
HYBE Entertainment
We’re glad to inform you that you’re being recruited for the position of Logistics Manager in one of our sub companies, BIGHIT Entertainment. We’ve thoroughly looked through the CV you’ve submitted and are very interested in your capabilities and what you can contribute to our organization. One of our other managers will gladly meet you on a day you can both agree on. Make sure to answer this email to get more details about your interview.
“Nani!? THE FUCK?” sure as hell that your eyes and cognitive functions were deceiving you (ADHD) you went over the text a little over three times in a row before the message settled in your mind. This was sus. 
Before even considering a reply you made a quick call. “Fucking Lee Chaeryeong” you spat on your end of the line. “You did this, didn’t you?”.
Her silence was more than enough to have you cursing her under your breath. “I don’t know what exactly you’re talking about but it most likely was me. Does it have to do with a sex toy in particular?”
“No” you denied almost monotonously, guessing the pile of boxes in the corner of your room with her names on them was what she referred to. “Does anything come to mind if i mention BIGHIT FUCKING ENTERTAINMENT?”
It was her. All those conversations during the summer about how badly you wanted to work in the entertainment business as marketing staff of some sort had their effect on your friend, who, despite all your excuses and denials, knew you better than you and your mom combined did, and because of this, was sure as hell you were not making a move towards that goal whatsoever. So, being the boss bitch she was, she took matters into her own hands, was what she explained.
You concluded that was the reason you had reached a point in your life where you had more experience than most recently graduated kids in your field, because Chaeryeong had you moving every summer break. You had been the manager of a coffee franchise and convenience store during you junior and senior years, and also figured a way to improve the marketing management strategy of a fucking restaurant while at it. Not to toot your own horn, but you were kind of cool.
Or not. “I hope this job satisfies your workaholic ass for once, I’m running out of ideas”. Chaeryeong spat before hanging up.
Sure as hell it would. 
On friday afternoon, you made your way to the HYBE INSIGHT building and introduced yourself to your recruiters who promised to give you a call at some point. “It went fine” you told Chaeryeong once you were in your car. And it was the truth, however you weren’t so sure if they would actually hire you at some point since well, you were a girl in a male dominated industry and, in your opinion, there were always better people than you. “Wanna go grab coffee?”
“I want to. But, I have practice today. I’m actually on my way there. Please avoid driving through Hongdae today, this shit’s packed.” You sighed and thanked her for the heads up. You missed your friend, badly. You hadn’t seen each other in three weeks, and you didn’t even live so far away from each other (you did, but it had been worse before). You two had very agitated lives to say the least. Chaeryeong was a kpop group member, and well, you were jumping from job to job and getting your phD in Business Management at the same time. It was hard to find moments to spare together during some periods of the year, but you guess the anticipation made your encounters better.
“Talk about anticipation” you slammed your forehead against your desk, taking a breather after such an anxiety packed situation. Short story: you got the job (for some fucking reason). And you had gone through a whole week of expectancy and anguish. Not getting that job would have broken your heart, and ego at the same time. 
You guessed the law of attraction tactics Chaeryeong had taught you had sorted their effect and were what led you to your current position in life.
“Miss _____, your presentation’s ready” your work assistant gave you a comforting pat in the back as she took a seat somewhere next to you. You were nervous, shitless. It was your fifth week at the job, and being the proactive woman you were, you had collected lots of data in order to come up with a resources management plan.
It was a Thursday afternoon, and more than a hundred people sat in front of you, waiting for your speech. Including him, who you’d once bumped into accidentally during one of your data recollections runs inside the building. 
You hated having the need to impress others yet, hence your anxious behaviour. But this was a decisive moment in regards to your validation in your new job and how you’d continue to be perceived during your work stance (no reason to panic at all)… you needed to get it together.
“I think I just pissed off a bunch of old men right now,” you told your assistant right after you got off stage. “I need a bathroom break”. Linh gave you a reassuring smile, one she always had plastered on her face.
“Take as long as you need to. I’ll give you a call once the rest are done”.
The commute to the bathroom was unnecessarily complicated in your opinion. You had spent a little over a month rushing through the hallways of the building and you swore every single day your spatial orientation got a bit more fucked up. There was no way there wasn’t a single bathroom on the floor you were in, that would just be atrocious. “It’s not completed yet” someone said beside you as you stared at the half empty map the company had projected on a wall next to the elevators. “Where do you need to go?” 
Kim Taehyung of all people in the world was talking to your ugly and unworthy ass. Your breath caught in your throat and after staring for at least five seconds your body finally reacted to your orders. “Oh, um… the bathroom. I’ve been looking for it for a good ten minutes” you explained with a nervous laugh.
“Trust me, I get it. I still get lost over here” he smiled gently. “It’s in the hallway in the middle of the next hallway” 
You laughed at his very ambiguous explanation. “Thank you” you bowed your head and made your way to said destination.
It was in the hallway to your left, not your right, and it took you a while to figure out that new piece of information. Once you were staring at yourself in the mirror, you realized that you looked considerably tired and exhausted from all the social interaction you had undergone throughout the day. You were used to the side stares and whispering you’d get whenever you entered a room at that point, but some days you just wished you could get a break from them. After all, it wasn’t your fault you didn’t look Korean at all, and that you also didn’t fit the stereotype of a foreigner.
You got that from your mom, both the non Korean features and social fatigue. But that wasn’t even the problem most of the time, it was your friendly and smart nature which she had also passed onto you. Some would consider it a blessing, but to you it was a burden, like a clear glass that shielded you from introducing yourself into other people’s realities. You had few friends and people to trust, but in your everyday life you had to deal with the pressure of standing out too much and that came with a lot of negative energy from others. You sigh as you spray your favorite fragrance on yourself. You could be feeling like shit, but no one will ever catch you slipping.
But that excluded him apparently. You hadn’t noticed that on the other side of the hallway was the men’s bathroom and the realization hit you as you were calmly getting some tea from the vending machine. “Good afternoon” the man greeted you as he made his way out the hallway, but stopped in his tracks right after he noticed you. “_____! Hi” he smiled at you and you wanted to die, suddenly forgetting what you were ordering in the first place.
“H-hi Jungkook” You smiled back, poorly attempting to put your wallet back into your backpack. 
“Need help there?” he noticed your agitated state and held your bag for you. He smelled just as heavenly as you had expected, somewhat between big dick energy and flowers. Oh, and he also remained as kind and polite as you remembered him.
Seeming as if he wasn’t planning on continuing his path to wherever he was heading to in the first place, he stood quietly by your side, waiting for you to be done with your deal. “How have you been?” you break the ice for him.
Quickly, you grab your tea and start walking back to the auditorium together, unaware of your surroundings or the suspicions that could arise. “Busy, but very good. How have you been? I saw your presentation earlier… I wish I understood half of what you said but you still sounded amazing”.
And you would never admit it out loud, but you were positive you were blushing (and falling in love too - platonically, of course). “Oh god, you think so? I basically told them they’ve been doing things wrong all along so maybe you’re the only one who’s appreciative of my work” you handed him the second can of iced tea you bought without him noticing. You swear his eyes lit up like stars in the night sky. “Payback for the other day” you smile at him.
The first time you two had crossed paths you didn’t look nearly as glamorous as you did now. In fact, you looked incredibly disturbed and in pain, carrying a huge pile of paperwork in your hands. But as soon as sweet Jungkook noticed your state, he offered you a hand and somehow ended up helping through your multiple data collecting trips that afternoon. It was a nice day.
“Anytime” he took the can in his hands with a shy look on his face. “Unless I’m practicing, you know…” you look down at his feet, with huge black boots engulfing them, and you smile due to their contrast with his personality. “Here, i’ll give you my number so you can call me whenever you need to put all those papers back. Hopefully I’ll be around” he added as he pulled his phone from his back pocket.
Way to get a girl’s number, my god.
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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago
Text
Never Have I Ever - Harry Styles (part 3)
i did not expect this to turn into more than just a oneshot, but here i am, posting a part 3?? and there’s more to come??? lmao, im a mess, having a million wips at a time, whatever. enjoy this DIRTY piece in the world of Harry and Actress!Y/N hehe!
pairing: Harry x actress!reader
word count: 3k
warning: NSFW content (we are taking a dirty turn in this part babes)
SERIES MASTERPOST
masterlist
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“But are you really sure you’re fine?” Florence asks for the millionth time over the phone. “You know, I could come over anytime, have a few drinks and forget about the idiots who decided you don’t deserve that Emmy.”
“I’m very sure,” you chuckle, sinking further down on your couch, kicking your heels off your feet. “It’s not a big deal.” “Oh it is, but you are trying to act all tough, though I know it bothers you.”
“I didn’t say it doesn’t bother me, but there’s nothing I can do about it,” you tell her truthfully.
“You know, sometimes I forget that you are this wise ass bitch, not some petty loser that I usually am.”
You snort at her words laughing loudly. Florence is by far one of the funniest people you know, she never fails to make you laugh, no matter what’s the situation.
“It’s sad that I didn’t win, but I’m fine. Really. Maybe next time it will be me,” you say, genuinely hoping this wasn’t your first nomination.
“Okay, I’ll stop bugging you, but call me if you change your mind and want company.”
“Thank you, Flo. Talk to you later.”
Once you end the call you let a long, heavy breath out that feels like you’ve been keeping in all night. Walking into your closet you stop in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirror, taking a look at yourself, still wearing the burgundy pant suit you wore for the award show. You were the only woman in pants all evening and you felt more powerful than ever. You’ve always loved to make a statement with your fashion choices and tonight you feel like you definitely succeeded in getting the message through: you are a bad bitch.
Stripping out of the outfit you hang it carefully before putting on some sweats and an oversized vintage t-shirt, feeling so much more comfortable already. Your hair is still in loose waves and you kind of like the texture, so you just leave it like that, moving into your bedroom to check up on some emails.
Cozied up under your duvet, laptop resting on your thighs, you start replying to some emails, updating your schedule for the next week. You almost don’t notice the text you get, barely catching the lit up screen from the corner of your eyes. Grabbing the device from the night stand you smile down at the series of messages from Harry.
“Bunch of idiots,” the first one reads.
“I’m suing them. All of them.”
“You looked fucking unreal by the way. Couldn’t take my eyes off you.”
Biting down on your bottom lip you read the last one over and over again. It’s been weeks since your number landed in Harry’s phone and you’ve been texting nonstop since then. Whenever you pulled your phone out to check if someone had tried to reach you, there was always a text rom him waiting for you, making you smile most of the time.
“Thanks Xx,” you reply shortly, not sure how to react to his heated words of calling the whole Television Academy a bunch of idiots, though it surely warmed your heart.
“Enjoying the after party?” his next text comes fast.
“Nope, I’m home already. Didn’t feel like partying.”
“What?! You not winning is not an excuse to skip celebrating. You still got nominated!”
“Already celebrated that, so I’m out of occasions.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do that. Text me your address, I’m going over with wine and takeout.”
His bluntness in flirting and shooting his shot has been amusing to you since the moment he sat next to you on The Ellen Show. Harry Styles doesn’t shy away to try and show his attraction, or at least not towards you.
You hesitate a little, not sure if you want him here, but something deep down in your guts is telling you that you definitely want him to come over, some dirty thoughts already popping into your mind, but you are quick to get rid of them.
You send him your address and he tells you he’ll be over in twenty. You use that time to clean up a little around your apartment. You left in kind of a rush earlier, being a little late with your glam team, so you didn’t bother to leave the place in a decent state. It doesn’t take long though to clean up the mess and checking the time you see that you still have a little time until Harry arrives. As you walk past one of the mirrors in your hallway, you take a look at yourself, debating whether you should change or stay in your comfy homey outfit. At last you drop the idea to put on a different outfit, not wanting to look desperate when Harry arrives.
Not long later you get a notification from downstairs that a so called Mr. Styles has entered the building and is heading up to your floor. Running a hand through your hair you walk over to the front door and opening it you stand there, waiting for the elevator to arrive. When the familiar ding hits your ear you notice how your heart skips a beat upon seeing him walk out.
“Hi,” you smile at him holding the door open for him. He looks amazing, as always, wearing a pair of brown high-waisted pants with a loose white shirt tugged into it, a teal denim jacket topping the outfit. He looks comfortable, but still well put together, something you have always admired in his style.
“Hello, Love,” he smiles back at you and pulls you in for a short, one armed hug before walking fully inside. “Didn’t know what stuff you fancy, so I got a bunch,” he admits with a chuckle, holding up two plastic bags completely stuffed.
“You really shouldn’t have,” you shake your head at him smiling as you lock the front door and lead him into your open concept kitchen.
“But I should have,” he argues, setting the bags down to the counter, packing out everything he brought.
Three bottles of wine, all of them different kinds, snacks, both sweet and salty, topped with an insane amount of Chinese takeout that could feed a whole family, not just two people. You put the wines into the fridge though you know they won’t get chilly enough by the time you open it. Turning to Harry you smile at him shyly, only just now realizing that he is in your home for the first time.
“Want a tour?” you ask, pulling your shoulders up to your ears.
“Would love that,” he smirks and lets you lead the way.
The modern apartment in Manhattan has been your home for a little over a year now. One of the first things you invested into once you started earning like an A-list celebrity. It’s spacious, you did the interior over once you bought it, formed it a little more to your taste. You walk Harry through the living room, the three bedrooms from which one is yours, the others function as a guest room whenever a family member of one of your friends needs a place to stay. There are three bathrooms in total, a study room that’s always a mess, your desk filled with scripts and books most of the time, but Harry tells you it suits your vibe.
“And this here is my wardrobe,” you end the tour, flicking the lights on in the walk in closet, probably your favorite part of the place. It’s bigger than your bedroom, but it’s exactly what you and your passion for fashion needs.
Harry curiously walks inside, his eyes immediately stopping on the burgundy pant suit you wore earlier that night.
“This, Darling, was an excellent choice,” he smirks over at you, his fingers dancing over the soft fabric of the pants.
“Felt amazing in it,” you nod smiling.
“I bet you did,” he chuckles softly.
The two of you head back to the kitchen and sit at the kitchen island, roaming through all the food Harry has brought. A short silence comes over the room that’s broken by Harry first.
“So how are you really feeling about tonight?”
“I’m fine,” you shrug, but then feel his hand on your knee that’s closer to him and your eyes flicker over to him, his gaze burning down on you intently.
“No, I’m asking fo’ real. You don’t have to mask your disappointment.”
Licking your lips you look back at your plate filled with dumplings and you start to just poke them around with the chopsticks in your hand.
“Of course I’m disappointed. Who wouldn’t want to win? But there’s not much I can do about it, right?”
“Still, you shouldn’t push it all down.”
“I’m not the type to rage very publicly, if you haven’t realized that,” you chuckle, diverting your eyes back at him, catching a soft smile on his lips.
“That I know of. Miss No Beef,” he teases you, even though you could pretty much say the same thing about him. “I was properly screaming at the screen when they said someone else’s name over yours.”
“Yeah?” you chuckle.
“Mhm. I was rooting for you big time.”
“Well,” you sigh turning back to your plate. “Sorry to disappoint.”
“Nah-ah, none of that crap, Y/N,” he protests right away, dropping his chopsticks to his plate as he slides off his stool, stepping closer to you, one hand lying flat on the counter, while the other one finds the underside of your stool and he easily turns you so you are facing him, your knees involuntarily parting so he could stand between them. “I’m not letting you think of any less of yourself because of some stupid award.”
“The Emmys are not stupid,” you correct him, but it seems like he doesn’t even hear you, staring down at you with a smug grin, his hand moving from the stool to your waist.
“Mhm, they are. They made the most talented and beautiful woman think she is not the best of all.”
You can’t push down the smile that tugs on your lips as you watch him slowly lean closer. Heart beating faster, you let him do whatever he has on his mind, not finding the will to push him away. Not that you want to do that, you’d be stupid to say no to this man.
“Who’s this woman we are talking about?” you breathe out with a teasing smile. Harry smirks back at you, his hand squeezing your waist gently as his other hand moves up to the base of your neck, his thumb running along your jawline.
“The woman I’ve been fantasizing about lately.”
A desperate whimper tries to escape your lips, but you bite it back in time, feeling so lost how much effect he has on you with just a simple sentence.
“What are these fantasies about?” you find yourself asking as he leans closer, his nose brushing against yours.
You’re aching for his lips, to feel him touch you everywhere. You want to come undone under his hands and the breaking point where you won’t be able to mask up your desperate feelings is threateningly close.
“I’ve been thinking about making her feel real good. Watch her fall apart under my touch,” he murmurs lowly and this time, you can’t hold that moan back. Your lips brush against his, but he pulls back smirking, not kissing you.
“Fuck,” you breathe out when you feel his hand move from your waist to your stomach, cheekily teasing you as he is drawing circles around your belly button over the soft fabric of your shirt.
“Can I touch you, Y/N? I really want to make you feel appreciated and good. Will you let me do that?”
Not able to find your voice you whimper out something that’s close to being a yes, but it’s not enough for him and while you are losing touch with what’s really going on, Harry is very much enjoying seeing you like this, all for himself.
“Use your words, Love. I wanna hear you say it.”
“Yes!” you choke out and luckily, he doesn’t waste any more time.
You feel his lips connect with your neck as both his hands work on the waistband of your sweats, pushing them further down a little before his right hand taps on the top of your lacy underwear, the one you wore under your suit tonight, the one Harry definitely thought about when he first saw you through his screen.
You gasp when his hand slides into your underwear, fingers finding your sensitive bud of nerves, pressing down on them softly. You desperately turn your face, eager to meet his lips, but he pulls back for your dismay.
“Not now, Love,” he tells you and though the words sting a little, you don’t have much time to dwell on them when you feel his fingers slide back and forth between your soaking wet folds. “So wet for me, aren’t you?” he smirks while you’re trying to breath evenly, though it’s quite the challenge.
His lips return to your neck and your hands fly up to grab onto the back of his neck and shoulders, his fingers teasing you around your hole, not entering just yet. You start buckling your hips, desperate to get him take the next step and he is surely enjoying the show you are putting on for him.
“Ready to feel good?”
“Yes,” you breathe out, hands grabbing onto his hair roughly and a loud moan escapes your lips when he pushes two of his fingers inside you.
“Fuck, this feels so nice,” he groans, lips nipping on the soft skin under your ear. He is quick to take up on a pace, moving his digits in and out, his thumb circling on your clit, adding that extra magic most men always forget about. But not Harry, he is eager to please you the best he can and if you weren’t sitting, you’d be on your knees for him by now.
“Yeah, tug on my hair, Darling,” he growls, his voice sending chills down your spine as you tighten your grip in his hair just as he asked, while you feel your climax building up.
He picks up his pace, curling his fingers inside you every time he thrusts them in, making you almost see stars. Your legs fly around his waist, ankles crossing above his bum as you bring him closer, and a whimpered groan bursts out of him, probably because his erection just got squeezed against his hand by your action, his nonstop moving hand now stuck between your heated core and his throbbing member. When his head pulls back you quickly look at him, about to ask if he is alright, but he just presses a soft, lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth as his unsaid answer that he is perfectly fine.
His forehead comes to rest against yours as he adds a third finger, making you moan his name in ecstasy. Your mind is starting to completely shut down, the sensation of utter pleasure taking over your whole body as you can feel your orgasm just a few thrusts away.
“C’mon, Love. Let it go for me,” he mumbles, his free hand sliding to your back so he keeps you flushed against him, your heaving chest touching his upper body with each drawn breath.
“Fuck, I’m so close,” you pant, eyes screwed shut, tipping over the edge of your climax. “Please don’t stop!” you beg whining.
“Never, Darling.”
And he keeps his words. He keeps going and going until your walls close up around his slick fingers and your thighs tremble around his waist. You tug on his hair once again, pulling his head back just enough so your eyes meet right when you come undone. His fingers keep moving a little longer, bringing you down from your high before the last wave of your orgasm dies down and you are brought back to reality.
When his fingers slide out of you, the feeling of emptiness makes you breathe out in dismay and it brings a smile to his lips as he licks his fingers clean and you swear that’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, watch him taste your pleasure on his own fingers.
Glancing down you see the very visible bulge in his pants and you reach down to return the favor you just had the pleasure to get, but his hands wrap around your wrists stopping you, your eyes snapping up to meet his.
“Not now, Love. This was all about you. I’ll be fine.”
“But—“ “No,” he cuts you off shaking his head gently. “Seeing you like this was more than enough for me.”
Biting down on your bottom lip you feel yourself blushing at his words, the whole situation that just went down dawning on you just now. Harry really did just finger you on one of your kitchen stools and it was one hell of an experience for sure.
When your gaze wanders over to his lips you remember how he refused to kiss you and now you actually have the chance to pay more attention to this tiny detail.
“Why didn’t you kiss me?” you ask him, legs falling from his waist as he goes to sit back on his stool. He glances at you, a soft smile on the lips that never touched yours.
“I wasn’t planning to do this, but I just couldn’t stop myself. However, I’m still trying to be a gentleman, so I won’t kiss you until I’ve taken you out on a proper date.”
“I can’t believe you,” you chuckle shaking your head at the absurdity of what he just said. “So you are fine fingering me shamelessly, but you won’t kiss me without a date?” you ask, rephrasing his words.
“That’s right,” he nods, his smile growing into a smirk now. Shaking your head you turn back to your probably cold plate of food, chuckling to yourself.
“Harry Styles, you are… something else.”
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sevlgi · 4 years ago
Text
what we want
requested: yes x2
group: blackpink
pairing: jennie x fem!reader
genre: angst, fluff
contents: idol!jennie, idol!reader, pr relationship
warnings: none
synopsis: Jennie’s lost herself somewhere along the way of achieving her dream. Behind that tough, cruel mask of hers, she doesn’t know what she wants, and maybe uncovering the mask you wear is what will help her realize it.
a/n: this is so much heavier than either of you guys asked for asalknasdfkj... but i wrote my longest fic yet in less than 2 days!!!! i think that’s an achievement :D
word count: 6k
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Kim Jennie did not have a good reputation, and she didn’t really give a shit about it.
At least, that’s what everyone thought. That’s what everyone knew, with the numerous articles a week about South Korea’s resident fuckgirl, with Dispatch’s 20 cameramen hired just to follow Jennie. She was careless, she was cold, and she care what anyone else said about her. 
What no one cared about was Jennie’s reasoning. Because while the first time sneaking out to a club and losing herself in fruit-flavored shots and skimming touches was simply for the fun of it, it was the aftereffect that made her keep going. Because with the articles of Kim Jennie’s newest scandal, Blackpink’s album sales shot through the roof, YG’s stocks completely flipped around, and Jennie herself decided it was worth it. It didn’t matter if her members looked at her a little differently, like they didn’t recognize her, or if she was the only one constantly excluded from appreciation tweets on Twitter. If acting out would help promote them more than her agency ever did, she could do it.
And she did. For almost a year, Jennie became Kpop’s most well-known idol, for better or for worse. For almost a year, Blackpink’s sales were unmatched by any group or artist around the world and Jennie couldn’t read her Instagram comments without wanting to throw up. 
It took a year for YGE to finally do something, and by then, Jennie wasn’t sure she particularly cared anymore.
“Jennie.”
“Youngshik.” Her voice was scarily steady and her face just as calm; Jennie knew that the her from ten years ago, the teenager who was accepted into the company under Youngshik’s watch, wouldn’t be able to recognize her as she sat before the man with crossed arms and a blank expression. But as he stared at her with disappointment glazing his eyes, Jennie lifted her chin higher, almost daring him to speak.
When he did, he sounded almost cautious of his words. “Jennie, I know you. This isn’t like you at all, you can’t carry on like this.”
“What do you know about me?” She had to keep herself from wincing at her own tone, sharp enough to draw blood. “Huh? You haven’t cared about me for the past year, haven’t cared about us. And who the fuck said I can’t carry on? I’m doing just fine.”
Youngshik shook his head. “Please. Ch-- your members know. I know. All you may see right now is the attention you’re gaining, the fleeting ecstasy you get every night, but you aren’t doing yourself any favors right now.”
As much as she hated it, Youngshik’s words cut deep. She wanted to scream out that she was doing this for her members, for the company, and that it didn’t matter what her reputation was like, but Jennie schooled herself into the person everyone believed and knew her to be. “I’m the only thing keeping you afloat right now. You’re wasting them-- Chaeng, Lisa, Jisoo. They keep practicing but you waste them. I’m only doing what you won’t,” Jennie defended herself, anger seeping into her voice at the thought of her members.
“Jennie. MNet has threatened to drop you from the next season of Queendom.” The man’s voice was quiet but deadly, and Jennie couldn’t seem to open her mouth at the thought of her members’ practice being wasted because of her. Youngshik took that as a sign to continue, “I realize that what you’re doing is increasing sales, but netizens hate you right now. You know that, don’t you? We’re trying to help.”
“Oh yeah? How’re you going to help?” Jennie sighed. “Lock me up in your dungeon again?”
“Quite the opposite,” he answered, leaning forward. “We’re going to keep you in check. The only thing that Dispatch likes more than clubbing scandals is leaked couples, and that’s what we’re going to give them.”
She crossed her arms and leaned back. “And how is that going to keep me in check? Dispatch already knows I like girls, giving me a well-behaved boyfriend isn’t going to be believable.’
Just as the words left her mouth, a knock sounded on the frosted glass pane in Youngshik’s office door, and the man stood. “You’ll see once you meet her.”
Her?
Jennie didn’t turn even when she heard the door open, or when Youngshik murmured, “Junho, thank you for coming.”
“Of course. This is her?”
“This is her. Jennie?”
She finally turned, face impassive, but Jennie couldn’t stop her eyes from widening when she saw the person standing in the doorway. You-- she recognized you, specifically the polite smile you wore on your face as you offered a handshake. She remembered hearing you be praised for your constant professionalism, your sterling reputation, and your bubbly personality. “Hi, I’m Y/N. I’m a big fan of yours.”
“Jennie Kim, but I’m assuming you already knew that,” she said by way of greeting. You nearly winced at her flat tone, but the mask remained on and you gingerly took the empty seat just by her. “So. Am I the only one in the dark here?”
“Not anymore,” Junho smiled. Unlike Youngshik, he looked pleasant, a smile crinkling at the side of his eyes, but Jennie disliked him nonetheless. “The two of you know by now that you’re being set up in a fake relationship. Jennie, YGE’s main concern with you is your reputation. You club, you drink, you... sleep with people.”
She simply nodded, waiting for the point. Youngshik jumped in, “Y/N, on the other hand, has a stellar reputation. Never has had a scandal in her career, except when she publicly came out, and even that had a good reception.”
“How nice,” Jennie deadpanned.
Junho sighed, folding his hands in his lap. “Miss Kim. Despite your shortcomings and the methods that you achieved such fame, you are nonetheless the most well known female idol in the world. From this relationship, you’ll gain stability as well as a cover, a perfectly sweet girlfriend who’ll lighten your image up. And Y/N will receive more attention by your side, exactly what we want for her and her group. Is that clear?”
Jennie wished she could say no-- after all, you obviously weren’t going to-- but she also knew that the two men were right. She could profit, achieve exactly what she was trying to do, but with less damage done to Blackpink’s image. And as much as she wished she could rebel, she found herself sighing through tightened lips. “Clear. I agree.”
“You didn’t exactly have a choice.” Still, Youngshik slid a contract and a pen across the table, and Jennie signed in the blank without a second glance. “Good. Though we realize that this relationship is fake, we want you to at least pretend to be in love, so get to know each other. It’ll be a while.”
“Great,” you sighed. Jennie was slightly surprised by the hint of sarcasm in your voice, but she lost interest when you assumed a polite smile yet again. “How do we do that?”
Junho exchanged a glance with Youngshik but answered by himself, “If it was me, I’d start with a coffee.”
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“Can I order something for you?”
“I’m good.”
Your smile was tight, and Jennie wondered how many snide comments she could make before you snapped. But apparently, one wasn’t enough, as you tugged your mask up. “Okay. I’ll get something for you when you feel like it, just wait for me in that booth.”
Without something to argue about, Jennie could only obey, sliding into the booth furthest away from any people. She sighed, staring at the ceiling; she hated that you were being pushed into the contract to save her, and she hated even more that she was purposefully being so difficult for you to deal with. But the truth was that Jennie couldn’t let you keep her in check, couldn’t let you get under her skin or change her from the way that she had been for years. No matter what YGE said, she was succeeding, and she wasn’t having the worst time in the world while she did.
“Uh. I got you a green juice, I hope you don’t mind.”
Jennie stared at you as you slid the bottle over the table to her, removing your mask just to flash her an annoyingly sweet smile. “I didn’t ask for it.”
You shrugged, “Oh, I know. But I read somewhere that you liked green juices, and I didn’t feel right letting you- letting my girlfriend go without a drink.”
“Don’t call me that.” Jennie cleared her throat when she realized how cruel she sounded, and rephrased it softer. “Don’t.”
“Okay. I understand,” you mumbled, clasping your hands over the iced Americano you held. “So. When did we start dating?” When Jennie frowned in confusion, you clarified, “We’re supposed to have a believable, synced story, right? To seem more real?”
The other girl bit her lip but nodded in agreement. “You’re right. Would two months be enough?”
Jennie wanted to tell you to stop pursing your lips when you thought, wanted to make you stop looking so approachable and sweet when you were sitting across from the most-hated idol in Korea. But she shut herself up, if only not to offend someone who she’d be spending a lot of time with. “I think so. We could say that we met at the Gayo Daejeon, since that was three months ago. I asked for your number,” you hummed and pulled out a notepad. “And a month after becoming friends, you asked me on a date.”
“Why did I ask you on a date?” Jennie asked, eyebrows raised. 
“I asked for your number, let’s keep it fair,” you answered with a slight chuckle. “Okay. What would you want to do on a date?”
She considered the question, tapping her nails against the table. “The Han River? Lots of people go in masks, so it’s possible for us to have gone without anyone seeing us. There’s food, nice scenery, we could take pictures--”
“You’re a real romantic, Kim Jennie,” you smiled, pen scratching against the paper of your notepad. “Okay. And we don’t live with each other, since you have a dorm... one of us has to be caught on the route between to make it believable.”
“I don’t think we have to.” Jennie crossed her arms, not moving even when you turned your notepad so she could see. “We just need to be seen in public together a couple times, hold hands once. Dispatch will eat it up.”
You sighed softly and tucked the notebook away. “Okay. At-- at least add me on Kakao. So we can communicate and stuff.”
She stood, tugging her jacket on and her hat down to hide her eyes. “Don’t have Kakao. Have a nice day, Y/N Y/L/N.”
And just like that, with a jingle of the front door’s bell, she was gone, and you could only stare at the untouched bottle of juice across from you or the glass door swinging closed.
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Jennie liked practicing with her members. Of course she did-- there was no one she loved more than those 3 girls, and spending time with them was always exactly what she needed. And practice reminded her of better, simpler times: learning a new choreo with Lisa for the next evaluation, practicing English with Chaeng, or asking Jisoo for help with vocals. There were memories in the scratches on the floorboards of the practice rooms, and Jennie liked feeling them every time she stepped inside.
But besides that, it was a secure place. No Dispatch, no cameras, and certainly no PR stunt girlfriends. It was supposed to be her happy place, her home away from the dorm, and the last resort for time alone.
Of course, you had to change that.
“Jennie, Y/N’s here to see you.”
At the sound of her manager’s voice, Jennie’s ankle twisted and she fell to the ground, still panting from dancing. Jisoo bent down to help her up, Chaeyoung and Lisa stopping their practices too. “What?”
He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head towards the hallway outside. “Your ‘girlfriend’. She’s here to see you.”
Lisa gasped at that, her head whipping towards Jennie. “Jennie unnie! You have a girlfriend? Since when?”
Jennie winced and waved Jisoo off before walking towards the door. “I... I’ll explain later. Don’t worry about it, keep practicing. I’ll catch up.”
As soon as she stepped outside, she found you standing there, your smile so wide, as if she hadn’t been so cold to you since the beginning. ���Hi, Jennie.”
“Why’re you here?” 
You barely faltered at the tone of her voice, holding out one of two bubble teas towards her. “I brought you boba, I thought you might need a rest from practicing. And don’t worry, Dispatch got the pictures they needed, I ‘forgot’ to put on a mask when I got out of the car just outside the building.”
Jennie sighed, but she accepted the offered cup anyway. She was thirsty; all she could hope was that you wouldn’t take it as a sign to keep coming to see her. “And? I thought we agreed that we only needed to be seen in public when our companies schedule it.”
“Well, I’m not just here for the PR,” you frowned. “You’re obviously opposed to actually dating me, or even from becoming friends with me, but it’ll be miserable if we’re both mean to each other. Let’s at least be civil, okay?”
Why? she wanted to ask. How? How can you be so positive even when faced with me? She pursed her lips, taking a sip of the drink. Somehow, you’d gotten her favorite flavor just right, and maybe the sugar rushing in her blood was what prompted her to say, “Civil. Sure. Thank you for the boba, Y/N.”
“Of course!” you grinned. You startled Jennie when you went to take your flannel off, even more so when you reached out to give it to her. “Here, take this.”
“Um. Why?”
Sighing jokingly, you pressed it into her hand. “Next time, you’re coming to see me. If you wear this while you’re caught on film, it’ll raise a lot of suspicions. Exactly what we want, right?”
Jennie nodded at that, closing her fist around the fabric. “Right. So, are you... planning to watch us practice?”
“Oh, no,” you shook your head, waving your hands. “No, I’ll probably just hang around. Unless you want me to?”
Some tiny, annoying section in the back of her mind wanted to say ‘yes’, but Jennie could hear Chaeyoung laughing in the practice room, and the thought of introducing you to her members wasn’t exactly appealing. “No. That’s okay. Thank you for stopping by,” she attempted a smile. Thankfully, you just bowed and waved goodbye again before turning around the corner, and Jennie relaxed with a sigh.
But your smile lingered in her mind. The first time she saw you, she thought it was genuine-- maybe you were just that polite, just that professional, even with how impossible it was. But talking to you on her own, she saw too many false grins, too much effort being put into keeping that likeable, fun personality up.
Perhaps she wasn’t the only one who was lying, but that fact did nothing but scare her more. 
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“So. Are we gonna talk about Y/N?”
Jennie sighed, keeping her eyes on the road. “No.”
“Really? Because you didn’t exactly look happy after talking to the person who’s supposed to be your girlfriend.”
The rapper raised her eyebrows even though Jisoo couldn’t see it over the phone. “Well, she isn’t exactly my real girlfriend.”
In the background, Chaeyoung asked, “What? Then why did our manager say she was?”
“It’s a PR stunt,” Jennie said bluntly. Her manager sighed in the front seat but didn’t speak. “That’s it. Y/N has a good reputation, I don’t. I’m in the biggest girl group in the world, she isn’t. We’re benefiting from each other.”
Lisa groaned into the phone, her voice tinny over speaker. “Is that seriously it? I only heard you guys talking, but she’s trying so hard, and you’re shutting her down. It could be good for you, unnie.”
Jennie pinched her nosebridge and pleaded, “Can we please not talk about this? I’m just doing this-- it’s a PR stunt. Nothing else to it. I gotta go anyway.” She ended the call before anyone could say something, leaning back and pressing her hands to her eyes.
“I don’t understand why you’re so opposed to this, Jennie.”
“Please. Shut up,” Jennie groaned, reaching for the flannel on her lap as the car lurched a stop. The smell of perfume swept over her as she tugged the clothing on, leaving her mask off but donning the sunglasses that she’d been paid to wear. “Thank you for driving me, I’ll see you in half an hour.”
Her manager called out, “One hour. Try to have fun, okay?”
It wasn’t like Jennie couldn’t hear the click of cameras following her as she buzzed herself into the apartment building, couldn’t see the flashes half-hidden in the surrounding bushes. But she schooled her expression and let herself into the building, engulfed in silence once again for the 7 minutes before she reached your apartment door.
“Hi, Jennie,” you greeted when you opened the door. It was disarming to see that perfectly crafted, perfectly kind expression, but Jennie followed you inside anyway.  To be honest, the way you decorated your apartment was almost a perfect reflection of the you that you presented-- sweet, comfortable, but a completely blank slate that could be arranged easily. No pictures decorated the walls, just like how your easy smile never left your face, and the only things on your expensive glass shelves were awards and your own albums. But you smiled, “The flannel looks good on you.”
“Thanks. You can have it back,” Jennie mumbled, peeling it off and draping it over one of the acrylic chairs that tastefully decorated your living room. “It’s a nice place. You’re lucky to live alone.”
You hummed, clearing a pile of papers off the couch so that she could sit. “Sure, I guess. It’s a lot lonelier than the dorm, but it is nice to have all the space to myself.”
“Right.” She sat obediently and accepted the petite cup of coffee that you pushed towards her. “So, what are we supposed to do for an hour?”
“I thought we could watch Netflix and grab some takeout,” you chuckled embarrassedly, reaching for the remote. “I can’t really cook, but I’ll pay for anything you want to order.”
Jennie should’ve asked for pizza, jajangmyeon, something inexpensive but universally enjoyable. But the more she looked at you, the more she realized that for all your effort, nothing she did could possibly break you. Making dinnner for you once, even becoming friends with you and pulling away again, wouldn’t change anything when everything she saw of you was... false. So she stood, made her way to the kitchen, and opened to the fridge. “I can cook. What have you got?”
“Oh, you don’t have to,” you protested and followed her over. “I’m serious, I can pay for anything you want.”
The rapper ignored you and frowned at a tub of kimchi. “How does kimchi jigae sound? You’ve got close to nothing in here.”
You were silent for a moment, but sighed and moved to open your cupboards. “Kimchi jigae sounds great. You’re going to be carrying this dinner, I hope you know.”
“That’s no problem,” Jennie chuckled, turning to you slightly. “By the way, have you got any soju?”
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“I thought you’d have a better alcohol tolerance.”
“Why?” Jennie groaned, head clutched in her hands. The steam from the cup of coffee that she convinced Chaeyoung to buy for her was absolutely going to melt her makeup, but under the LED lights of the waiting room, she wasn’t sure she cared.
Lisa sighed and patted her shoulder softly as she passed by. “I mean, wasn’t there a month where you went to a different club every night? It’d be weird if you did that completely sober.”
Jennie frowned; she wished she could tell Lisa that she actually spent every night of that month huddled in the corner with a mocktail, hoping to the heavens that Dispatch didn’t burst their way inside and find her hiding. But she shook it off and replied flippantly, “Drinking a lot doesn’t increase everyone’s tolerance, believe it or not. Maybe Y/N just had really strong soju.”
Before the dancer could respond, Jisoo opened the door and popped her head inside. “Hey, guys, they’re ready for us to start filming. And, Jen-- you have a visitor.”
“Who?” she groaned in answer, struggling to her feet and wincing as she removed her sunglasses.
Her question was answered as she reached the stage, finding a familiar face among the camera directors. “Y/N?” she squinted.
“Hey, Jennie!” you shouted with your hands cupped around your mouth. The smile on your face was a little wider than usual, poked into your cheeks differently. It was pretty, Jennie realized, and more genuine. “Good luck!”
Before she could ask what you were doing, huddling with the cameramen while she prepared to film her first Queendom stage, she was called up on stage. But for once, Jennie could feel a smile tugging at her lips as she got into formation, a smile that she hadn’t been able to pull off for a while.
You startled her by cheering her name just before filming began, and inciting laughter from the crew. Some warm flower blossomed in her chest as Jennie spoke her first line, her voice more steady than it had ever been during practice.
As soon as she finished the first attempt at the group shot, Jennie bent down at the edge of the stage and beckoned you forward. “Hey. What’re you doing here?”
“I’m cheering you on, of course.” Jennie found a banner with her name on it in your hands as you approached, the tip of your nose cold from the air-con in the studio. “You did great.”
“Thanks,” she chuckled softly, feeling the banner between her fingertips. “Where’d you even get this?”
You shrugged, “Bought it. I had to make an account and all, so you better be feeling more energized.”
“I am.” Jennie herself was surprised at how true the statement was; for some reason, seeing your dyed hair in the crowd of cameras was like a shot of pure adrenaline, just more intense and gratifying. She smiled, “I am. It’s really nice of you to come, Y/N.”
“Of course,” you said, waving the banner around with a grin creasing in the corners of your eyes. “We’re girlfriends, after all. And I’m your friend.” At the call of a director, though, you stepped back. “I should let you film.”
“Y/N?” Jennie called after you. When you turned to face her again, Jennie allowed her customary gummy smile to take over her face as she said softly, “You can call me Jen. All my friends do.”
You were too far away for her to hear your answer, but the excited little jump you made as you walked back to your spot kept the grin on Jennie’s face as she stood again. She missed the relieved glances her members exchanged behind her back, but she could feel a new kind of energy coursing through her as the director started his countdown again. And-- she kind of liked it.
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You hated the popular belief that idols who presented the sweetest, kindest version of themselves to the internet got absolutely no hate. Fans, family, managers-- they all believed that never letting your smile slip and never having a single scandal would protect an idol completely. When you were deciding on your persona for your debut, you thought the same, and so you forced yourself into the happy, positive personality that the world knew.
However, for all your effort, for all the things you had to endure with that same smile on your face, people hated you. They called you fake, tried their best to get under your skin just so they could see you fall. But it was too late to fight back, because that wouldn’t become the kind, sweet Y/N. It was too late to ask for help, and it was too late to let yourself cry. 
When you met Jennie, you were determined to keep her on the outside of that precious mask you could never remove. After all, what would she understand? She did what she wanted to, didn’t care what people said about her, and she was strong. Jennie was as strong as you wished you could be, and you were sure that she would never understand. But the more that you saw her and the more that you talked to her, the more you understood that you were one and the same. That tough, carefree version of Jennie was what protected her, just like your perfectly engineered smile.
The first time you saw Jennie laugh, you knew that you were in deep. She didn’t know a single thing about you, but she was letting her walls down and letting you in-- or at least, the you she knew. But you liked her smile so much that you wanted to keep it there, at any cost. And maybe it meant sacrificing yourself.
“Are you ready?”
“For what? Walking through the street, undisguised enough that Dispatch will recognize us but no one else will?” At your pout, Jennie stopped her grumbling and laughed softly, still adjusting her scarf in the car mirror. “Yeah. I’m ready.”
A beat of silence passed as she grabbed your hand and led you out of the parking garage and onto Garosu-gil. “Hey. Y/N, I want to tell you something.”
“Yeah?”
“I... I’m glad it’s you.” Jennie squeezed your hand, her skin slightly cold with the wind blowing softly around the two of you. “I’m glad you’re the one I’m doing this with.”
You wished that she wouldn’t say that. You wished she’d feel anything else towards you-- contempt, hatred, even, despite everything you’d gone through just to become civil. But you squeezed back, flashed a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Me too. You know, it’d be a lot worse if they set me up with a guy.”
“Why would they?” Jennie frowned in answer. “You came out on your own.”
“Unlike you, I didn’t prove it. You know Korea, you aren’t gay until you prove you are,” you sighed, scuffing your shoes against the cobblestones. “They wanted to set me up with a guy at first, but they decided that accepting YG’s offer for me to date you would be more beneficial.”
The other girl paused, and you didn’t quite dare to look up. “Oh. So you didn’t choose to help me, did you?”
You shook your head quietly, expecting Jennie to react badly. But she huffed out a breath and pushed your arm softly. “That’s okay. We’re friends, anyway, and it was hard for you to get us here already. I appreciate you, you know.”
Opening your mouth to respond, you noticed yet another camera flash, just between two buildings ahead of you. “What?” Jennie asked, following your gaze.
“I-- Don’t hate me for this, okay?” you whispered, stopping in the middle of the road. Before she could say anything, you placed your hands lightly on her jaw, pulling Jennie towards you; before your lips actually met, though, you gave her a second to pull away. Instead, she leaned forward just the slightest bit, barely enough to connect.
You didn’t quite dare to move, but Jennie’s hands rested on your waist and pulled you into her, just enough that your lips slotted together. You could barely hear the clicks of the camera, the warmth of the girl that you were kissing completely clouding your brain.
Before anything else happened, you released your grip and stepped away, lips suddenly cold. “I think that’s enough,” you whispered, linking your hands again and lowering your head.
Jennie laughed breathlessly and continued to stroll along when you prompted her to. “That’s all you have to say?”
“Um. Sorry?”
She only giggled harder at that, shoving you slightly. “What are you even sorry for? You’re a good kisser, Y/N.”
“Shut up,” you groaned, heat rising to your ears as you shoved her back. “How do you even say that with a straight face?”
“Hey, I had to listen to Lisa say ‘bitch I’m a star but not Patrick’, I think I can handle this,” Jennie joked. Despite all your effort not to, you found yourself staring at her smile again, losing yourself and any other worries bothering you in it, and her, once again. 
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Jennie frowned at her phone-- or actually, at the blankness of her texting history with you. After the little PR stunt at Garosu-gil, you hadn’t contacted her once, and she didn’t dare to surprise you at your apartment or properly ask you what was going on. 
“Haven’t you heard the saying that a watched kettle never boils?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s a pot,” Jennie replied listlessly, still staring at her screen. “But I have heard it, yes. I’m just hoping the universe proves it false.”
Chaeyoung sighed and hugged her older member from behind, swaying back and forth. “Why don’t you just message her? Or go see her? Our manager won’t say anything about it if you just say it’s for PR.”
“It is,” Jennie frowned, turning to her member. The Australian girl raised an eyebrow, and Jennie bit her lip. “Okay. Maybe it isn’t.”
“It definitely isn’t,” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes. “I saw those kiss pics, you know. And no one kisses like that if it’s ‘just PR’. You like each other, unnie, and it’s time to face it.”
Jennie swatted Chaeyoung’s arm. “That’s so cheesy, shut up. But... do you really think I like her?”
“That’s a question for you to answer,” the younger girl pointed out. “But I’ve known you for close to a decade. If I’m right about this, and I’m sure I am, everything’s about to change for you.”
“Ugh, cheesy again,” Jennie groaned, but she stood hesitantly nonetheless. “But... I guess I’ll give it a shot.”
On her way down the stairs, the rapper dialed her manager on her phone and held it up to her ear while she waited for the dial tone to fade. “You’re driving me to Y/N’s house,” she said by way of greeting. “And it’s not just for PR.”
She was sure that no car ride had ever gone slower; Jennie fidgeted the entire way, cursing every bus that blocked her way and scowling as the sun began to set behind a set of buildings in the distance. The more she thought about it, the more definite it was-- she liked you, more than she thought she could like a person. And while that fact would’ve scared her, should’ve scared her, it didn’t. Because it was you, and nothing about you could scare her anymore.
Somehow, the process of buzzing herself in at the building’s front, taking the same elevator up to the 67th floor, and hurrying her way down blue-carpeted hallways had become familiar. Jennie knocked persistently on the door of your apartment and called out, “Hey, Y/N, let me in. It’s Jennie.”
It took a while for anything to happen, and Jennie was almost backing away by the time that the door finally cracked open. For once, the smile on your face was missing, replaced by a guarded, harsher expression than the other girl was used to seeing. “Jen. What’s up?”
“Uh,” she hesitated, “can I come in? I don’t think we can talk in the hallway.”
You looked like you wanted to say no, but with a pleading look from Jennie, you backed away and let the door swing open. Jennie shut it quietly, following you into the living room, where you stood with your arms crossed. “So. What can’t we talk about in the hallway?”
Jennie wanted to say outright the words that were beating in her throat, but the expression on your face alarmed her. You were like a stranger-- or, maybe, she realized that you had finally let your mask down. “I... Y/N, are you okay?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” you responded. Suddenly, the roles were reversed;  Jennie was the one reaching out for you, maybe even chasing after you, and you were somehow the one who was turning away.
“Okay,” Jennie said quietly. You were about to turn away, probably assuming that she was going to leave, but if Jennie had learned anything from you, it was that she couldn’t give up that easily if she wanted you to open up. “What do you want from me?”
“I don’t want anything from you,” you responded instantly. Your words only hurt more when you didn’t look up from the television, continuing, “I don’t want you, and I don’t want anything from you--”
“You don’t get to say that to me.” Anger was once again rushing through Jennie’s veins, though not the kind of anger she was used to experiencing. No, she wasn’t mad at your words in the slightest, or even offended-- she was simply pissed off about the fact that you were shutting her down, and she didn’t know why. “Not when you were the one who started this. Y/N, you wanted me once, you don’t get to go back on that without an explanation,” Jennie gritted her teeth, gripping your forearms in her hands.
You finally turned when she shook you lightly, your face blank. “What, I don’t get to shut myself down? You did it the entire time I was trying, giving my all so that you’d talk to me or even just be civil.”
Jennie pleaded, “You succeeded, didn’t you? You’re right that I was a total bitch when all you were trying to do was be nice and make this tolerable for the both of us, but you succeeded. Okay? You-- you’ve made your place in my heart, and I’m not even angry about it. I just... I just like you that much.”
A derisive scoff escaped your lips as you twisted your arms out of her reach, stepping away. “You like me? Jennie, you don’t even know me. This me, the smiles and boba and everything, it’s a facade.” You threw your hands up in the air, biting down on your lip before sighing out, “It’s fake. All of it.”
“I know it isn’t,” Jennie shook her head desperately. She searched your eyes, scanned the sea of the color she’d grown to love, for some semblance of the person she remembered kissing her. “Look, you kissed me. And I know it was for the cameras, but you can’t tell me that you felt nothing from it. Y/N, you’re a good liar, but you can’t lie to me, not about this.”
You were quiet at that, glancing down at the floor as if you had nothing to say. “I didn’t,” you finally answered, tone firm. “Maybe you did, but I--”
Unable to stop herself, Jennie rushed forward again and tugged you into another kiss, her hands scrunching into the hair splayed over your shoulders. She was almost afraid that you’d push her away, curse her and throw her out of your apartment, but she felt your lips moving against yours. She felt your hands splay on her back, and she felt tears slipping down your face.
When you finally did push her away, it was gentle, though you were rough when you wiped the tears off your face. Jennie wished you’d speak first, but she brought herself to speak. “If your smiles were fake, think of the real ones you brought to me. Even if my smiles were from your facade, that’s still a part of you. I know that though you weren’t trying to, you let me see the real you. And I’m willing to see the rest of you,” Jennie smiled, clasping your hands within hers. Sometime along the way, she’d started crying too, but the salt of those tears was almost honeyed on her lips. “If you want me to.”
“I do,” you sighed, accepting the kiss that Jennie pressed to your forehead with a teary smile. “I want nothing more than that, Jen. And-- I’m sorry.”
“Why?” she laughed, wiping the tears of your face so much gentler than you did. “I know what I want now. It’s you, and it has been you since you tried buying me a green juice in that damn coffee place. I like you, Y/N. So much.”
You tucked your face into the crook of her neck and snaked your arms around her waist again. “I like you too. More than I ever thought I could.”
And maybe, just maybe, you knew what you wanted too. Somehow, that mask you wore had long been tossed to the side. Somehow, each kiss pressed to your face by the girl you never knew you needed to find lingered on your skin like the touch of a miracle, and the smile on your face was finally, finally genuine like you had always wanted it to be.
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