#that's how it sounds when my cat is waking me up for breakfast at 4am | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mothmansfriend · 5 years ago

Text

when i’m happy oh god i’m happy

TW: alcohol abuse, non-graphic sexual content, unhealthy coping mechanisms, self harm (in many forms), drug use, couchsurfing, mentions of delusions and paranoia, otherwise reckless behaviour

Note: this takes place in @illogicallyinclined’s hockey au and is a Prequel this is supposed to represent what Remus’s manic episodes look like everyone is different, but im using a mix of my own experiences with bipolar i and some friends who were willing to talk about theirs, then changing it to fit Remus’s existing Absolutely Feral personality, Jared and Payton are OC’s and teammates of Remus, the three of them are known for wrecking havoc at all times because none of them possess a braincell.

The art studio was empty, filled only by the assorted music of Remus’s sculpting playlist on the bluetooth speaker he brought in, and Remus himself. His hands glide through the wet clay and he basks in the slimy feeling between his fingers. Remus’s hair is held back by a small headband and he is wearing a tank top and jogging pants already covered in various mediums he has used through the day. He does not know where the energy to finish every project for this semester came from but he isn’t about to object.

If you were to look around this studio, there is a high contrast painting of a tentacle creature that is unsettling in an almost unidentifiable way, half of a self-portrait which uses resin teeth as the main element, as well as his current project of a large cup shaped like a decapitated head. In short, while Remus believes these are his best pieces, the chances of the university permitting them to be displayed are very low.

Remus gets frustrated that the music didn’t seem to be filling his inspiration in the way he hoped he changes the song revealing it to be approximately 4am, and no texts received since he sent D a picture if the teeth pile around 10pm.

—

“Can you go wake Remus up and ask if he wants any breakfast, he really shouldn’t sleep in this late, even if it is Saturday” D asks from the stove while Roman grabs his carton of milk from the fridge and doesn’t bother grabbing a cup.

D grimaces at him as he chugs back the milk, once again thankful that they have separate ones (even if that is at fault of Remus deciding to mix apple juice with milk in the carton without alerting anyone else in the household). “He actually headed out like, real early this morning, I spoke to him when I got up for a shower at like six. He said he’d be back today though?” Roman replied ignoring D’s look.

“Well, that’s even weirder. I’ll make extras so he can eat when he gets back, it's already eleven.”

“Sounds good,” Roman noticing D’s almost done slides a few plates next to him and accepts D’s soft ‘thanks’.

Suddenly they hear someone miss the keyhole three times before getting it and entering. Unsurprisingly, it’s Remus inappropriately dressed for a casual outing, surprisingly he seems to be holding several bags full of merchandise. “Helloo roommates! Look what I bought!” Remus shouts, slamming the door with his foot and bringing his bags to the couch.

“Are those... cups?” D asks turning off the stovetop to curiously check out Remus’s merch load.

“Hell yeah they are! I figured since you-” He pokes at D, ��Took away all our glass cups after me and Roman went to that last party, I would take it upon myself to replace them. Look!” Remus proudly pulls the ugliest Jar Jar Binks cup out of one of the bags.

Roman visibly recoils as his brother parades the worst cup he’s ever seen around their apartment. D rolls his eyes but collects the cup and hesitantly places it into the dishwasher. “Thank you, Remus, these cups are horrid but they’re functional, which, I guess is good enough. Though, how much did these cost?”

“No idea, probably around sixty bucks total though, maybe. I went to three different thrift stores. Look at this one!” Remus holds up a vaguely terrifying cup that seems like it may have once resembled Spongebob Squarepants to Roman.

“That’s… Great, Remus, thanks” Roman says taking the offered item.

—

The three make it to practice 20 minutes early because Roman likes to prove he’s dedicated and a good captain. Coach Thomas and Joan greet them and Thomas talks to Roman briefly as Joan finishes setting things up. D and Remus do some stretches as others begin to show up, D comments on Remus being shaky and Remus hops around quickly explaining that he just woke up with a lot of energy for some reason.

Coach Thomas reminds Remus to take his time during practices speeding through everything doesn’t work if he keeps messing up before he even makes it halfway through.

—

D is going to kill Remus tomorrow morning. The repetitive sound of the bedframe slamming against their shared wall, and Remus wailing like a cat in heat at 1am is not something he wants to deal with right now. It’s a Tuesday night and D knows Remus has a class at 11am, one that D will not let him skip because he decided getting laid was more important. How does Remus even get a man to willingly enter that nightmare of a room? D rummages through his bedside table for ear plugs and regrets giving Roman the far room so easily.

—

“Jesus- Hello? Do you know what time it is?” The tired voice answers the phone after the third time of going to voicemail.

“Of course I don’t, Jared, I’m not a fucking nerd! I just thought I might extend my offer of filling the fountain in the middle of campus with bubble bath and a swim to you and Payton! D already said if I woke him up he would cut my dick off and feed it to his snake,” Remus audibly pouted at the end of his sentence.

Despite it being three am, it didn’t take a lot for Jared to wake up Payton and agree to meet him just off campus to run to the 24/7 convenience store for soap for the fountain. Remus leads the group in talking a mile a minute about something that Jared and Payton actually missed out on entirely. They try to contribute but realize Remus doesn’t notice when they have their own conversation anyways. They listen to him vaguely flit through topic after topic and get lost and confused in his own sentences, and once the soap is collected, they head to the large fountain in the middle of campus.

The fifth bottle of soap has been discarded and the fountain is sufficiently bubbly by the time the three hockey players strip to their boxers and begin their bath. There are attempted drownings, bubble beards, and the fountain change being thrown around.

At some point Remus stops talking for a second, observing the lithium bulbs through the fountain streams and bubbles floating across the courtyard. For a moment, he thinks he’s never been this happy in his life, these last few days have been the best days of his life. He lets Jared and Payton know this and like stare at him for a moment before teasing him about going soft and a few “I love you, bro” “Dude, you mean so much to me” and such were exchanged. They leave moments before campus security’s due to do their rounds in the early morning and laugh when about an hour later they receive a campus-wide notification to avoid the courtyard for repairs.

—

Remus spends most of practice being more annoying than usual. He gets a bit more of a stern talking to than he has in a while, in response says that he’ll try to do better to prepare for the game this weekend.

—

He did not succeed and got an even sterner talking to by Coach Thomas and Joan, and then by Roman separately.

—

Remus has a brief moment of clarity regarding his spending habits from the last week and a half in the middle of his current project. His solution is instead of buying the club size container of hot sauce, he makes a trip to the Taco Bell off campus. After dropping off the rest of his goods at the apartment, it was pretty late in the evening and he was dressed in nothing but neon green basketball shorts, slides, and a pretty badly stained grey tank top. Thankfully, Florida weather permitted this, though the looks he had been receiving all day disagreed. It likely did not help that if prompted, Remus wasn’t 100% on the last time that he slept, but if he had to guess it was two or three days ago, but that was probably a maximum of five hours. Surprisingly, he had never felt so good in his life. He’s also pretty sure he’s said that a lot this week.

He leaves Taco Bell with a small meal bag full of hot sauce at no cost.

—

D doesn’t ask any questions when he uses the bathroom in the early morning and is met with the sight of Remus in the bathtub. He is covered in a large variety of substances. The floor is covered in Taco Bell hot sauce wrappers, there’s a box full of water balloons of various colours and sizes. Remus waves with his available hand before he resumes filling the current water balloon with what may be a bulk container of banana lube. D pisses, not bothering to ask Remus to leave and just pulls the shower curtain over a little before washing his hands and deciding to figure it out tomorrow.

The next day, D woke up around 10am to a few texts saying some prick is throwing weird water balloons at first years off this academic building on campus. D didn’t think much about it until he was leaving his 12:30 lecture walking past splatters of mayo, egg, egg shells, hot sauce, and more, all separately. While observing the damage he found Remus asleep on some grass outside said academic building and had to call Logan for help to get him home. The two are used to this by now and D reminds himself to tell Remus to clear his ‘great ideas’ with someone containing a braincell.

—

Remus spends a good majority of his day listening to one song in the living room of the shared apartment. He was there when D left for classes, he was there when Roman left a little later in the day, failing to go to his own classes at all that day. The second D returns for lunch Remus is trying to explain a hidden meaning in the song, D brushes it off and reminds Remus, that to pass his classes he has to at least go.

—

This is Remus’s third night out in an area of town he really doesn’t know. He went home yesterday for early practice before coming back out. He knows it didn’t go well.

In attempts to make himself feel better, he blew a guy who’s name he already forgot but was hot as hell, he lost count of the shots he’s done, but at least there’s no practice tomorrow. He doesn’t have to worry about when he goes home, doesn’t have to worry about Roman or D and their weird concerned looks. He’s doing great! Why are they concerned, they just don’t get it.

At 2 am everyone gets kicked out of the club. Remus walks six blocks with his new friends with the promise of couch space to crash on and additional alcohol.

It’s suddenly 4:47 am and Remus is the only one awake and all the booze is gone. He is sitting under lithium streetlights smoking a cigarette on the porch of a strangers house with the humid Florida wind enables him to sit comfortably without a jacket. There is a moment, with sirens in the distance that Remus lets his eyes go out of focus. For the first time in who knows how long, he feels present. There is cracked cement under his feet, a dog barking a few houses down, and he wonders why he’s even here. The hidden Prince twin, here, in a city he has only been to once for a tournament, in a stranger’s house, drunk off his ass, his phone dead. He takes time to wonder, is this fun to him? It has to be right? Why did he just leave without telling anyone? Spending nights on the streets, or finding someone to go home with just so he didn’t have to find somewhere else to sleep. Is this who he is now?

He doesn’t know if he can answer that. Remus shakes himself before putting out his cigarette on his arm and deciding it doesn’t matter.

He still doesn’t sleep that night, but plugs in his phone and decides he needs to go home soon.

—

This is a different club than the previous night, someone sold Remus a few pills earlier and he figured why not? He feels better than ever. He lets the man he’s making out with know that and he lets out a kind of raspy laugh that Remus thinks is the hottest thing. He lets the other man know that too before sticking his tongue down his throat.

—

Remus is in the park yelling. It is almost 6pm, he pauses for a moment, completely forgetting what he was yelling about. He realizes that he is pretty drunk. Remus would normally like to say he only drinks with an excuse, but he doesn’t remember why he’s drunk, or how he got to the park. This isn’t near campus, he doesn’t recognize this park at all. He just stops yelling and googles the next bus to take him home.

—

Upon arriving home and greeting D, Remus falls asleep in his room for almost 12 hours to make up for the missing sleep from the last four days. When he is woken up for food and offered tylenol for his hangover, he tries to tell them he doesn’t have one. They don’t believe him, but he takes the food. Remus makes a joke recalling how the other day all he had eaten was some stale croutons he found in a pantry and half a bottle of Fireball he found in the fridge nearby. The joke did not land, but he was too busy laughing about it to notice.

The three eat their Sunday lunch with small amounts of banter and D switching between who he agrees with based on who’s statement didn’t sound like it came from a six year old. As they clean up, Remus starts excitedly talking about something that’s topic changed around four times in one sentence. Roman feigns interest but got lost and doesn’t care enough; D listens and has to ask Remus to repeat things slower every few minutes.

—

Several times throughout the night, D hears Remus loudly leave his room to check the front door. In the early morning D doesn’t hear Remus return to his room, but faintly hears netflix turn on in the living room.

In the morning, Remus seems wary of the door but does not say anything.

—

One day while messing around in the kitchen Remus is struck with the need to just go. The urge is so strong that the more he stands still in the kitchen the more his body just begins to tremble with barely contained energy. He doesn’t quite know where he’s going yet, but as he grabs his wallet, double checking he has his bus pass and ID, a jacket, his phone, and his keys. Without telling anyone, he walks to the main exchange near campus where he hops on the first bus that arrives. The bus isn’t particularly busy, and it makes it easier for him as he settles into the back of the bus bopping to his music, but not having the focus to listen to a song all the way through. He hits his hands softly on the very 90’s looking patterned seats to the beat of the song, watching out the windows with both legs bouncing. He rides this bus to the end of the line and catches the next bus to arrive at that bus exchange that takes him into a new smaller city. The sun is beginning to set and he finds a pub to grab some food and a few drinks at.

An hour and a half and four drinks later Remus is fighting some asshole in the pub and they both get kicked out. He wanders these smaller streets buzzed and poking at forming bruises while he smokes a cigarette. He walks by a convenience store and two homeless men outside ask him for a cigarette, he shares and spends a solid amount of time socializing with them and gets some booze for his troubles. They eventually part ways when one of them come out from the bathroom with a pack of stolen cookies. The store attendant chases them away and Remus finds himself wandering down empty streets again. Eventually, Remus decides to sleep for a few hours curled up in a stairwell, he doesn’t quite sleep, but does relax. Again, in the sounds of small city life, yellowed flickering light bulbs, and humid wind, Remus wonders why he’s out here.

—

The flashing neon lights and bass heavy music resonate through Remus’s bones like electricity giving him a never ending feedback loop of energy. Just before the club closes Remus sweet-talks a kind of nerdy looking guy into taking him home, while he’s mostly just hoping to not sleep outside tonight, getting laid wont hurt either.

—

Sneaking out of someone’s house before they wake up isn’t something Remus is necessarily proud of, but he doesn’t want to risk them doing something cheesy like make him breakfast. Sorry sir, Remus is a Manic Pixie Nightmare Boy, do not catch feelings, do not use for your own character development. He laughs to himself a little walking down the morning rush streets.

—

After waking up in bed with a man he doesn’t remember meeting the night before is a little jarring, but this is not the first time. It makes him wonder briefly if something is wrong with him. Remus is tired. Exhausted with himself and getting a little tired of this much fun. Instead of finding a diner for breakfast he catches a bus home and asks Logan if they can hang out tomorrow. If anyone will force him to go home, go to practice, sleep and not give him a choice to study or not without expecting him to explain himself. It will be everyone’s favourite Large Nerd. Remus doesn’t know what’s happening or why he feels like this, but he needs to go home and stop this for a little bit.Virgil, D, and Logan will help him get things a little back on track.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #hockey au #bipolar disorder #university au #roman sanders #deceit sanders #remus prince #roman prince #d foster

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nicostolemybones · 5 years ago

Note

Solangelo

I answered in short fics for each question!

1. Who Reaches Out To New Neighbours

“Nico, what on Earth are you doing,” Will asked, snaking his arms around Nico’s waist and pressing a gentle kiss to the back of Nico’s neck.

“There’s a moving truck which means new people. I don’t like people,” Nico replied, taking Will’s hands.

“So you’re stalking them from the window?”

“I’m observing,” Nico corrected, and Will sighed, gently turning Nico around in his arms and cupping his cheek in his hand.

“I know it unnerves you, but it’s going to be okay,” he said gently, “I’ll go round to see them, scope them out. I’m sure they’ll be nice people, and if not, we stick to ourselves, okay?” There was a small pause.

“You’re going to bake them cookies, aren’t you?”

“Yep, I’m gonna bake them cookies.”

“What if they’re psychopathic murderers, Will,” Nico whined dramatically, “what if they’re cannibals and they eat you after they eat your cookies, Will, you need to poison the cookies!”

“Oh my gods, Nico,” Will sighed in exasperation, “They’re not gonna eat us, you’d probably bite them if they tried because you’re like a freaking really grumpy cat, di Angelo!” Will smushed Nico’s cheeks, who tried his best at a murder glare. Will merely giggled and glowed, booping his nose. “Boop!” Nico snapped playfully at Will’s finger, who yelped in surprise and put on a fake hurt glare whilst Nico smirked smugly. “I’m gonna go bake cookies for the neighbours!”

2. Who Remembers To Buy Healthy Food

“WILL!” Nico yelled, and Will came skidding into the kitchen.

“What’s happened?”

“What is this?” Nico held up a bag full of salad ingredients on the end of a spatula, holding it at arm’s length.

“Healthy food.”

“I don’t want it, I don’t like it, I want to set it on fire.”

“No setting the food on fire, Nico! I’m making a stir fry, I figured I should make it colourful and healthy,” Will explained calmly with a small smile.

“But it’s yucky vegetables!” Nico protested, staring at the bag of healthy food like it had personally offended him.

“No, they’re delicious, and without them, you will literally slowly die of disease.”

“At least I would have tasted something better than cardboard!”

Will sighed heavily. “If I deep fry it will you eat the veg-”

“Yes!”

3. Who Remembers To Buy Junk Food?

Will was awoken by clattering downstairs. Convinced he was about to be murdered, he reached for Nico, but he found the space beside him unoccupied. With a heavy sigh, Will trudged downstairs, grabbing the bow and arrow he kept on the stairwell and loading an arrow ready. He turned on his glow, ready to attack- and screamed.

“Gods Nico! Don’t just do that! What are you doing down here? Is that McDonald’s?!”

Nico froze, a nugget hanging out of his mouth and eyes iridescently reflecting like a cat’s. “No,” Nico lied round the nugget.

“It’s like four am, holy shit Nico,” Will groaned, “I can’t believe you!”

Nico blinked, staring for a moment, before taking the nugget out of his mouth and holding it out. “Nugget?”

“I’ll make you into a nugget in a minute,” Will grumbled, turning on the light and sitting at the table. Will slid a bag over to Will, who peered inside, more than happy to see a quarter pounder inside. “Gods I love you. McDonald’s at 4am.”

“Only because I know you forget to eat after a night shift and somebody has to feed you.”

4. Who Fixes The Oven When It Breaks

“NICO!” Will yelled, and Nico skidded into the kitchen on his socks. “Is the cooker meant to do that?”

“Do what?”

“That.” Will pointed to where there was a plastic plate and utensils melted onto the hob.

“Will. How? How did you do this? How? This is worse than the time you set the spaghetti on fire!”

“I was trying to reheat my jacket potatoes on the hob and I left and then the plate was goo!”

Nico facepalmed hard. “You’re meant to put stuff in the Microwave, Will, good old Chef Mike! Of course plastic will melt on the hob! You’re supposed to have a brain cell! Idiota!”

“Sorry,” Will pouted, “I really can’t cook.”

“You silly sunshine,” Nico teased affectionately, wrapping his arms around Will and swaying slightly, “I’ll have to teach you to cook as soon as we get Leo to fix it. I’ll teach you how to cook real food, not this bland muck, then you won’t be living off hospital food all the time. In the meantime, how about we order a takeaway? You can choose and I’ll pay.” Nico pressed a loving kiss to his cheek to let him know that he wasn’t mad at Will for accidentally ruining the cooker.

“Any takeaway?”

“Anything you want. Now go sit down and I’ll do you some tea, you’re probably stressed about the cooker and you need to take care of yourself.”

5. Who Waters Their Plants/ Feeds Their Pets?

“Will,” Nico interrupted, “Are you talking to a houseplant.”

“And singing to it!” Will beamed, and Nico sighed, smiling to himself.

“That’s adorable Will.”

“Thank you! I watered it but I felt bad about forgetting to water it yesterday so I wrote it an apology song. Did you feed the pets?”

“Oh my god, stop being adorable you dork,” Nico huffed, standing on his toes to rest his elbow on Will’s shoulder. Will bent down to allow Nico to do so. “And I did. The cat hissed at me because I gave it the wrong flavour and the dog slobbered all over my face and proceeded to eat the cat’s food. It reminds me of you.”

“I have never slobbered on your face, I just licked it once when I was drunk and happened to drool on your cheek a little! Anyway, you’re only saying this because you know you’re just like the cat.” Nico hissed for effect, and Will giggled, resuming serenading the plants. Nico discreetly pulled his headphones on- Will loved to sing, bless his heart, he just wasn’t very good at it. But Nico never wanted him to stop, because his whole face lit up and it was worth the damage to his ears.

6. Who Wakes Up Earlier

Nico was rudely awoken at the asscrack of dawn by Will’s heavy stomping around the bedroom. Nico groaned in protest, burying himself into the covers. He scooted over to the still warm patch where Will had been sleeping and inhaled the scent of Will on the pillow. “What time is it,” he mumbled incoherently, and Will bounced towards the bed, kneeling down and gently stroking Nico’s hair.

“It’s six am, I just got back from a two hour jog.”

“Oh my gods,” Nico grumbled, pulling the covers over his face, “it’s too early, Will, come back to bed!”

“But I’m already awake!”

“And I didn’t fall asleep until half three, get back into bed so we can cuddle, you’re warm and I’m tired.”

“Sorry, Neeks,” Will said softly, “but I have an early shift at the hospital and I need to be there in an hour, but I’m off work tomorrow, so, we’ll stay up late with a movie and fall asleep together and I’ll stay in bed to cuddle until you wake up, and then I’ll do you breakfast in bed and we can cuddle some more and do whatever you want. We can take a bubble bath together with some candles and massage oils, just spend some time relaxing and pampering each other. Although maybe the candles shouldn’t be on the side of the bath in case the water knocks them down again.”

“Goodnight,” Nico groaned, and Will laughed softly, melodically, pressing a lingering kiss to Nico’s forehead.

“You go back to sleep, call if you need me, okay? I love you.”

“Love you too,” Nico murmured, burying his face into Will’s pillow.

7. Who Makes The Bed

“Nico,” Will murmured, and Nico groaned from underneath his blanket mound.

“What?”

“You stole all the blankets and I’m cold.”

“Here,” Nico mumbled, throwing one of his blankets to Will.

“Nico, there’s popcorn stuck to this,” Will grimaced. Nico whined tiredly. “We haven’t had popcorn since last month.

“Don’t care,” Nico protested tiredly.

“You need to make the bed.”

“You need to make the bed,” Nico retorted.

“I do!” Will protested, sitting up. Nico whined in protest at the shift, sitting up besides Will with a tired groan, his face in his hands.

“When?”

“I changed the sheets just a few days ago!” Will protested

“Not according to the popcorn,” Nico grumbled.

“Have we cleaned anything recently?”

“I ate the cereal out of the box this morning when I couldn’t sleep because we have no clean bowls.”

“I have no idea how to make the bed,” Will confessed, and Nico squinted at him through tired eyes.

“Neither do I.”

“Maybe we should have learned this before moving in together.”

“Mhm,” Nico mumbled in agreement, diving back under the blankets, “I’ll get the ghosts to do it.”

“What ghosts?”

“Never mind.”

“Nico, what ghosts?”

“Goodnight, W ill.”

“Nico, I’m scared.”

“Then cuddle me.”

8. Who Makes The Coffee

Nico threw himself into one of the dining room chairs, his hair sticking up in all manner of directions, tangled and generally looking like a bird’s nest. He groaned loudly, flopping his head onto the table with a thud and another groan. “Morning, sunshine!” Will grinned, and Nico looked up just long enough to hiss in pain as his eyes were assaulted with neon yellow spandex. Nico whined agonisingly in response, realising that the table was suddenly very comfortable indeed, closing his eyes. He heard the sound of Will getting the mugs out of the cupboard and the kettle being put on to boil.

“Coffee?” he asked hopefully, and Will laughed softly.

“I know it won’t wake you up much, but it is chilly and it’ll warm you up.”

“If I have coffee, I might go back to sleep.”

“Usually I’d say yes you should, but you slept a solid ten hours, that’s oversleeping, that’s why you’re so sleepy. So, once you’ve had your coffee and you’re comfortable but you’ve had the time to wake up a little, we’re just gonna have a lazy day and we’re gonna cuddle on the sofa.” Nico mumbled in appreciation, drifting off a little until he heard Will gently place the mug of coffee by him on the table. “Wake up, sleepy head,” Will said softly, running his fingers through Nico’s hair. Nico lifted his head up and pressed his lips to Will’s in a slow, lazy kiss, smiling in appreciation of the coffee.

9. Who Burns Breakfast

Nico woke to the sound of the fire alarm ringing in his ears. He grumbled rolling out of bed and almost falling back asleep on the floor, slowly trudging downstairs to an all-too-familar sight: Will at the stove and smoke everywhere. Nico coughed, opening the windows and wetting a cloth under the sink, holding it over his mouth and nose to avoid the smoke. He wet another and handed it to Will. “What did you do this time?”

“I tried to make toast.”

“Why is there a frying pan on the stove?”

“To make the toast.”

“For Hades’s sake Will, there’s a toaster.”

“I just put the bread in the pan dry and then it stuck and started to burn and I don’t know how but it caught on fire and then the bread turned to ashes and the fire’s just embers.” Nico sighed, picking up the broomstick they used to turn the smoke alarm off, leading Will to the living room.

“I appreciate you trying Will, but I’d very much like to live without you burning the house, so leave breakfast to me until you learn how to cook. Let’s eat dry ramen noodles instead. For future reference, you put the bread in the toaster and push the lever down and when it pops up you wait a few seconds for it to cool, put it on a plate, then spread the butter. Okay?”

10. How Do They Let Each Other Know They’re Leaving The House?

“Nico,” Will called softly, kneeling by the bed, and Nico groaned loudly from beneath the covers. “Nico babe, I’m popping to the shops, I’ll be back in half an hour okay? I’ve left the TV on for you, and I washed your favourite blanket last night, it’s time to wake up now, so why don’t you go downstairs. If you fall asleep on the couch I’ll wake you when I get back okay?” Will kissed the top of his head and Nico mumbled in response, and Will left for work

---

“WILL!”

“WHAT?”

“WILL!”

“WHAT?!”

“WILL!”

“I’M IN THE SHOWER, ASSHOLE!”

“I’M GOING TO MCDONALDS YOU FUCKNUGGET, DO YOU WANT ANYTHING?”

“FRIES, NOW FUCK OFF!”

“YOU FUCK OFF!”

“JUST FUCK OFF AND BRING ME BACK MY FRIES!”

11. How Do They Greet Each Other When One Of Them Gets Home?

“I’m back!” Will called, locking the door behind him and pulling off his coat, catching his breath. Then the smell of dinner hit him, and he’d never been more hungry. He took his shoes off and scrambled to the kitchen, where Nico was just pulling a lasagne out of the oven.

“Go get changed into your pyjamas,” Nico said, “I’ll dish up, just go.” Will smiled softly and quickly kissed Nico’s cheek, making his way upstairs to change into his cotton pyjamas. He put his most comfortable slippers on and made his way back downstairs, where Nico had lit some candles and sprinkled a few rose petals on the table. Will blushed as Nico pulled out his chair for him, placing his plate in front of him. “After a double shift you deserve a nice romantic night. Once you’ve eaten, I’ll run you a bubble bath, with all those essential oils and bath bombs you like so much, then I’ll give you a massage to work all that tension out.”

“Aww, Nico,” Will smiled smittenly, “this is so romantic and sweet of you! But I think I’ll be too tired to give you anything in return…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Nico said softly, “you’ve had a long day, I don’t expect anything tonight. I just wanna pamper you and take care of you. We can just cuddle together. Wanna talk about your day? When you called me at lunch I figured you sounded stressed, and I’d like to hear about it.”

“I lost a patient,” Will admitted, slowly eating his lasagne. It tasted amazing, comforting, and Will found himself feeling open and honest. “I know it wasn’t my fault, they had end stage lung cancer, but I cried a little.”

“Hey,” Nico said gently, reaching across the table to take Will’s hand, and Will put his fork down, sobbing into his hand. “Hey, come here,” Nico soothed, standing up and making his way over to Will, gently hugging him, “I know you did everything you could to help, and I know you made their last few minutes comfortable and calming. It’s gonna be okay, Will, just cry it all out.”

---

“WILL I’M BACK!” Nico shouted, and Will skidded to the door, tackling Nico in a flying hug. Nico laughed, backing into the wall for balance. “It’s nice to see you too, Will.”

“A whole day,” Will said against his shoulder, “I missed you. Bed was cold without you. Couldn’t sleep. I tried to watch a horror movie to remind me of you but I just got spooked without you.”

“I’m back now,” Nico smiled, hugging back tightly. Will hummed contentedly, inhaling Nico’s scent and lightly nibbling the flesh of his neck. Nico sighed blissfully, guiding Will’s chin up and gently kissing him. Will pressed Nico closer to the wall, kissing him slowly.

“I missed you,” Will said again.

“And I missed you too,” Nico smiled, playing with the curls at the nape of Will’s neck. Will kissed him again, letting it linger for a little longer until Nico pulled away. “Let me get showered and changed before you get all clingy with me, okay?”

“What? Sorry, I didn’t hear the part after the part where you’re getting naked.”

“Will,” Nico chuckled, “ I was gone a day, do you know how adorable you are when you get all needy?”

“I missed you,” Will protested, hugging Nico again. Nico sighed, smiling softly.

“I love you too but I smell of brimstone and blood, I smell gross, let me get clean and changed into something comfortable and then I’m all yours for the night.”

12. Who Brings Home Little Gifts Like Flowers/ Chocolates More Often?

“What’s this,” Will asked curiously.

“Open it,” Nico said with a small smile. Will looked at him curiously, and opened the small box. It was empty, so Will picked it up, frowning, examining the velvet box.

“Nico, there’s nothing insi…” Will cut himself off the moment he looked to wear Nico had been standing, because he was down on one knee with a ring in his hand. “Oh my gods…”

“I know I don’t get you much, because I don’t exactly have a paid job, and I know you’re always getting me little gifts all the time and bringing me back cool bones you find in your run through the forests, and I love the way you try and always fail to cook for me and you get all pouty and sad because you just want to make me happy, and I wanted to make you see just how happy you make me, Will. I want you to have my mother’s ring, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So William Solace, will you be my husband now and forever? Will you marry me?”

“Oh my gods, Nico,” Will gasped, “yes, of course! Oh my gods… I love you!”

“I love you too,” Nico replied with a smile, placing the ring on Will’s finger, “speaking of you love me, I’m stuck and I can’t get back up off the floor, help me.” Will giggled, carefully helping Nico up off the floor and pulling him into a hug.

“It’s funny,” Will smiled, “because I just went out and brought a ring for you too. I was gonna propose during dinner.”

“Oh my gods,” Nico grinned, laughing softly, and Will pulled the ring from his pocket. “Yes,” Nico smiled, letting Will place it on his finger and leaning up to give him a slow, loving kiss. Both men were crying a little but hey, who wouldn’t?

13. Who Picks The Movie For Movie Night?

“What are we watching?” Will asked, settling with his feet up and a bowl of popcorn on his stomach. Nico held up two DVDs and Will shook his head. Nico sighed, digging through the box and holding up two more. Will made a noise of consideration before shaking his head again. The process repeated until Will had picked a pile of ten movies. Nico sorted through them, picking out three of them.

“I like these,” Nico said, and Will cocked his head to the side in consideration.

“Eh… I’m not sure…”

“Will,” Nico groaned, “it’s been twenty minutes and you’ve already ate half of the popcorn to yourself!”

“Wait, this was meant to share?”

“Yeah,” Nico huffed, sorting through the pile of movies and holding one up. “This?”

“Perfect,” Will smiled, and Nico set up the DVD, before finally joining Will on the sofa and curling into his side. He smiled sweetly, kissing Will, who let go of the popcorn to hold Nico comfortably. With a small snicker, Nico stole the bowl of popcorn and sat on the floor, hunched over it like a gremlin and shovelling it into his mouth. “Hey!” Will protested, and Nico almost choked laughing. Will dove onto the carpet, attempting to grab the bowl back off Nico, who threw a piece at Will’s head. Instead of watching the film, the great popcorn war of 2019 ensued.

14. Their Favourite Kind Of Movie To Watch

Will screamed, grabbing Nico’s arm and pressing himself loser to Nico, almost crushing him. “Will,” Nico protested, wrestling him slightly to get them comfortable and readjust the blanket, “that was the funny part!”

“Nico, his guts are all over the floor!”

“I know,” Nico chuckled, “the circular saw just cut right through him! Gutted like a fish! Did you see the blood spray all over the nurse’s face?”

“You’re twisted!” Will replied, settling back into his side and stress eating chocolate, “why do I agree to watch these again?”

“Because you like the cuddles,” Nico replied, “and the kisses afterwards when you’re hopped up on adrenaline-” Nico burst out laughing as Will heard a scream and chopping noises.

“Oh my gods,” Will cringed, “I know I like horror and gore, but I’m not even sure this is legal!”

“It’s not,” Nico replied, “only in Russia.”

“Nico, I’m scarred for life.”

“I won’t let anyone murder you like that, Will,” Nico reassured, “that’s my job.”

“I’m scared,” Will whined, “turn it off.” Nico sighed, turning it off and turning to Will, cupping his face in his hands.

“I am so, so sorry,” Nico began gently, “I didn’t realise it would distress you so much otherwise I would not have put it on for you. Are you okay?”

“I need a hug,” Will whimpered, and Nico immediately wrapped him in his arms.

“No more illegal films, I promise. Only regular horror, because you like watching that more than I do.”

“Yeah,” Will agreed, and Nico rubbed soothing circles on his back.

“We’ll sleep with the lights on,” Nico soothed, kissing the top of Will’s head. “Hey, you’re shaking.”

“I’ll be okay,” Will replied, “just keep holding me and I’ll be okay. You make me feel safe, Nico.”

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere,” Nico reassured, rocking them slightly, “I’m right here. I’ve got you. Next time we watch Dracula, you love that.”

“Yeah, it’s my favourite,” Will replied, burying his face in Nico’s chest.

15. Who First Suggests A Pillow Fort?

,”Will,” Nico began as Will piled yet another freshly washed and dried blanket into Nico’s arms, “can we built a nest with these?”

“A nest?” Will questioned, the corner of his mouth jumping up.

“Like a blanket fort, but a permanent one, with loads of cushions. Most of these blankets are old and we have new ones, and it would be really romantic to sit in there. We can decorate it with fairy lights and we can watch Netflix in there or make out! Please?”

“Nico, I am an overgrown child, I am never gonna turn down the opportunity to make a blanket fort! Never! I could be fifty and I will still want a blanket fort!” Nico giggled, and Will grinned mischievously. “I got a load of unused cushions in the closet we can use for the floor, and I have lots of soft pillows too.”

“Have I told you how much I love you lately? Because I really love you.”

“I love you too, little boo,” Will replied, and Nico blushed at the nickname and smiled.

16. Who Builds The Pillow Fort?

Needs to be higher,” Nico said, and Will secured the bungee cord to the hook on the wall. “That’s about right,” he said, and Will looked at the frame and nodded.

“Now for the floor,” Will said, and he and Nico began to lay out pillows, piling them up until they had a soft floor, laying a blanket over it. Nico sat in the middle, looking up at the frame, and Will checked the feel of the frame to make sure it wouldn’t collapse. It could handle enough pressure, so Will started with the blanket walls that were against the wall, tying the ends to the chord and making sure the bottom was tucked in under the floor, sewing to the frame once he was satisfied with the positioning.

Nico looked at the pile of blankets still left, and Will stepped back to analyse the frame. They’d used bungee chords and thick strips of cut up denim to make a frame sturdy enough for a permanent blanket fort. Will carefully placed the first blanket underneath, tying and sewing it to the frame so it draped from the centre outwards, but not too low. Nico looked up, poking it and tugging it lightly, and Will set out on putting the third side on. He carefully tied and sewed it like before, and Nico was almost inclined to go to sleep, quite enjoying his minimal contributions despite it being his idea.

Next came the front of the fort, which was more tricky and Nico had to help position them so that they could be tied back like curtains and pulled shut. Nico had to hold everything in place whilst Will secured it, and then there was only the top blanket to go. Will had even gone to the length of installing a hook to the ceiling, to suspend the top blanket from and make it into a point at the top. Once it was secured to the bungee chord, it didn’t take long for Will to sew it to the frame. He stepped back to the door to admire his handiwork- it was right in the corner next to the window, the third blanket wall facing into the room and the entrance facing the sofa barely a foot away- it seemed nice and private. Nico was already hooking up all the fairy lights and arranging the cushions by the time Will crawled in- and it was a lot bigger than he thought.

“This is so cosy,” Nico commented, leaning against the wall with popcorn, his laptop on the pillow floor. It was really soft to sit.

“It’s so private in here, so intimate,” Will commented, and Nico smiled, putting the popcorn and laptop aside in favour of kissing Will.

“I can’t believe we’re grown adults and we made a pillow fort,” Nico commented between kisses, laying down and pulling Will to lay beside him.

“Worth it though,” Will replied with a smile, cuddling into Nico, “our own little escape, a private corner for us to hide and relax and have fun.” Nico giggled softly, melting into the lazy cuddles and kisses Will was eager to offer.

17. Who Tries To Distract The Other During A Movie.

“Nico, stop that,” Will said absently, picking up another handful of popcorn, eyes transfixed to the screen. Nico doubled his attention seeking efforts by prodding Will in the ribs. “Nico, I’m watching this.” Nico snickered, poking him in the ribs again, but Will simply ignored him, so Nico upped his game and started tickling Will.

Will shrieked, pushing Nico’s freezing hands away, and Nico laughed, moving his hands up Will’s shirt to tickle his bare skin. Will whined in protest and squirmed, unable to stop the stream of laughter that followed. He playfully wrestled Nico, putting him in a headlock, and Nico tried to twist, his foot somehow ending up by Will’s ear. They ended up in fits of giggles, just collapsing onto each other with uncontrollable laughter. They shared soft kisses and light touches, still tickling each other and laughing between kisses, enjoying the feeling of being young again, being childish again, because after a long week of serious adulting, it felt good to unwind.

---

It started out with Will lightly tracing his finger on the back of Nico’s hand, which tickled, but didn’t stop Nico from concentrating on the movie. Then Will’s fingers started to trace patterns up and down his arm, enough to give him goose bumps and shiver a few times, but Nico had decided this was now a game of chicken and he was not gonna back down. As a result of Nico ignoring Will, Will only tried harder to distract Nico, and by the time Will was kneading his thigh and nibbling his earlobe, Nico was finding it difficult to hold back a soft moan. Will giggled, reaching over to turn the film off, giggling triumphantly when Nico wrapped his arms around Will, sighing happily as Will kissed down his neck. “What about the film, Will,” Nico protested, although he didn’t care about the film anymore, not when Will took his bottom lip between his teeth, tugging on it. Nico whined, whimpering when Will swiped his tongue across Nico’s lips. “I can’t believe you distracted me so easily, Will,” Nico huffed, and Will giggled against his lips. Nico figured they could watch the film another day- Will was in a good mood and Nico fully intended to make the most of it. After all, time spent with a busy husband who spent so long was work was precious, and intimate moments full of love and passion of any kind were always going to be so much better than any horror film anyway. Especially after Will had completed a week of double shifts and night shifts and Nico had been busy in the underworld when Will was home. Nico figured they had to make up for lost time, and he certainly didn’t mind missing the film in favour of a little fun.

18. Who Falls Asleep First

Nico was, through lack of a better word, one heck of a sleepy boy. He stayed up late, often had nightmares and interrupted sleep, so most evenings they didn’t even make it to the bedroom before Nico would get so comfortable he ended up drifting off to sleep. Even at mealtimes Nico had been known to yawn and rest his head on the table, and start snoring gently, with his cheek pressed into the table, barely on the chair. Nico fell asleep almost every time they settled in front of the TV for the evening, with the fireplace heating the room gently and fluffy socks, in one of Will’s hoodies that was more like a tent for Nico and comfortable cotton pyjamas, Nico would always fall asleep pressed into Will’s side and gathered up in his arms, and Will would gently braid Nico’s hair for him.

But today was different. After being left to his own devices to wake himself up in the morning when Will had been called into work early because of a road traffic collision, Nico had decided it a good idea to sleep in until five pm. So by midnight, Will was getting sleepy, and Nico wasn’t even twelve hours into his day. Will was very clearly fighting his sleepiness, but he kept nodding off and squinting and blinking at the TV, yawning every few seconds, until finally, he was lulled into a peaceful slumber, laying over Nico like a lizard on a rock, crushing him. Nico didn’t mind too much, gently braiding Will’s hair. He was rather cute like this, Nico thought.

19. Who Is Big Spoon/ Little Spoon

“I’m cold,” Nico whined, pressing closer to Will’s side. Will laughed lightly, rubbing his hand up and down Nico’s arm.

“Then maybe you should put your pants on,” Will suggested.

“Maybe I don’t wanna put my pants on,” Nico protested, leaning over Will and over the side of the bed, retrieving Will’s hoodie up off the floor and pulling it over his head. Will laughed softly as Nico nestled back under the covers. Nico rested his head on Will’s chest, resting his hand over his belly and pushing his leg in between Will’s thighs. Will wrapped his arm around Nico, resting it on his waist, kissing the top of his head and holding him close. Nico hummed contentedly, staying in that position for a while, until he realised it wasn’t very comfortable and rolled over. Will immediately curled around him, pulling him closer until their backs were pressed together. He buried his face between Nico’s shoulder blades, and Nico intertwined his fingers with Will’s.

“Goodnight, Nico,” Will said softly, and Nico whined tiredly in response. Will pressed a gentle kiss into his shoulder, and Nico lifted his head up. Will laid his arm across Nico’s pillow, and Nico rested his head on Will’s arm, adjusting slightly to press more tightly into the heat of Will’s bare chest.

“You’re really warm,” Nico mumbled, and Will squeezed Nico’s hand.

“I love you, Nico.”

“I love you too, Will.”

---

Waking up with sunrise was never pleasant for Will- he always energised quickly, barely able to get back to sleep. He shifted slightly, realising he was right by the edge of the bed and trapped in place. Nico’s leg was wrapped around his waist, Nico’s foot pressing into the front of Will’s thigh. Nico’s arm was slung over his shoulder lazily, and Nico’s face was buried into the nape of his neck, his soft breaths tickling him slightly, holding him protectively. It seemed the human backpack would not be letting Will out of bed, but Will didn’t mind. He pulled Nico’s arm under his own arm, tangling their fingers together like they always did. It wasn’t very often that they were able to cuddle in the night. In fact, there was a second bed in the room, because Nico was prone to night terrors from PTSD, and sometimes he thrashed around a lot in his sleep, so cuddling like this was a luxury Will intended to make the most of. He was glad Nico seemed to have a restful sleep, so he let himself relax, remembering all the sweet nothings and giggles and surprises of the night before. He craned his neck, content to see Nico still wearing his hoodie. Will reached down to the floor to pull his phone from his jeans pocket- he had an email from the hospital, but it was only a reminder of the new junior doctors who would be coming in. Will was a registrar, training to be a consultant. Nico shifted slightly, his heel jamming into a rather painful place. Will hissed and groaned in pain, removing Nico’s foot from around him and cradling the damaged goods, but Nico just threw his leg back over Will’s waist, this time jamming his foot right into Will’s bladder.

“Nico,” Will called, and Nico whined in protest at being woken up. “Nico, I have to pee, can you let go?”

“Five more minutes,” Nico protested, pulling him closer and nestling into his back.

“Your foot is on my bladder.” Nico whined, reluctantly detangling himself from Will, pulling him to face him so he could kiss him good morning.

“Leave the bathroom light on and make me a coffee,” Nico mumbled, and Will smiled softly, looking for his boxers on the floor.

“Of course,” Will replied, before looking at how tiny and adorable and warm Nico looked in Will’s grey hoodie. “Oh, and you can keep my hoodie. You look adorable,” he said, smiling to himself as Nico blushed.

#heroes of olympus #nico di angelo x will solace #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #nico di angelo #pjo #pjoverse #solangelo #trials of apollo #will solace #nico x will #nicohasahappymeal #solangelo fanfic #pjo fic #will solace x nico di angelo #will × nico #solangelo fluff #ask

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bamon4bamily · 5 years ago

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TVD 9x05 Halloween Special (part 1 of part 1) Enjoy! =)

Cut to – a little girl in a white dress, standing in the snow at the edge of a blood-filled lake, a black box is floating in the middle of the lake.

VOICE: Oh, my precious child… you knew there would be consequences…

.Cut to – Bonnie in a water-filled tub, wearing a white dress, looking scared...

VOICE: There will never be enough water to clean the blood from your hands… Embrace your dark, my child, it is who you are meant to be...

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Cut to – Bonnie’s bedroom, around 3am, October 31s, current day. She is sleeping, levitating and breathing heavily. Suddenly, she opens her eyes, her pupils reflect pure terror, she drops instantly. She gets out of bed, somewhat disoriented, goes to the bathroom and squirts some water on her face; stares at the mirror, tears in her eyes.

Cut to - Salvatore house living room. Loud knocks on the door, Caroline (half asleep), comes down the stairs, opens the door…

STRANGER: Is Tamara here?

CAROLINE: No… you have the wrong house… (Stranger leaves, Stefan comes down the stairs).

STEFAN: Who was it?

CAROLINE: Wrong house…

STEFAN: Who visits someone at 4am?

CAROLINE: Probably a drunken booty call, let’s go back to bed.

STEFAN: Well, know that we are up, how about we have our own booty call?

CAROLINE: I’d love to, but I really need some shut-eye, the girls will probably be up in two hours…Raincheck, okay? (Kisses him, as they are walking upstairs, another loud knock on the door). You have got to be kidding me!

STEFAN: Go, get some sleep. I’ll handle it.

CAROLINE: Are you sure?

STEFAN: Yes, don’t worry.

CAROLINE: Thank you (kisses him and goes upstairs).

Stefan opens the door, no one is there, just a package on the floor, he looks around, no one at sight; he takes the package inside, locks the door. He sits on the living room sofa and opens the package. Inside is a black box with a note and a pair of antique golden cuff links engraved with the letter “L”. The note reads: “We all go a little mad sometimes…”

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Cut to – A little boy running desperately through a dried cornfield maze, it seems to be endless. As he runs through the maze, he dodges dead bodies and body parts, who, like the maze, also seem endless. From a distance, he hears a voice …

VOICE: You can run, but you can’t hide… from yourself. (The sound of a mirror breaking is heard, the boy stops and drops a black box).

VOICE: Let the games begin… you like games, don’t you, little boy? (Circus music starts playing in the background).

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Cut to- Damon sleeping in his room, around 3am. He wakes up, sweating and breathing heavily. Gets up and goes to the bathroom to squirt some water on his face, stares into the mirror, tears in his eyes, the circus music still lingering in his head...

Cut to – Halloween night, 1990. It’s pouring, a woman is driving home after a long shift at the hospital, she is a Nurse. As she turns to the corner of her street, she abruptly hits the brakes. A man, who seems to have come out of nowhere, is standing in the middle of the road; he is wearing a yellow raincoat with a hood, and what look to be clown shoes. He is holding a black box tied to a red balloon.

The woman flashes her headlights, signaling him to get out of the way, he doesn’t move. She flashes the lights again and hunks the horn, the man places the box in his left hand, and with his right hand brings his index finger to his mouth in a “hush” gesture. The woman starts to get very nervous, locks the car doors and turns the car around when she looks back, the man is gone, the box with the balloon is in the middle of the road. She drives around the block, hoping the man will be gone for good. When she arrives at the same spot, the black box is still lying in the middle of the road. She stops the car, waits for a while, then gets out of the car to grab the box. She unties the balloon, and it flies up into the sky (which is uncanny since given the meteorological conditions the flight pattern would be impossible). She opens the black box, inside is a note that reads: Curiosity killed the cat… you should have stayed in the car. The man attacks her from behind, horrible screams… then, silence. On the ground, a stream of rainwater mixed with blood flooding through the cracks of the sidewalk drain.

Cut to – The Mayor’s house. Edward puts on an old record on his turn table, Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes, then stares at the mirror.

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Someone knocks at his door, he shuts the music and opens the door.

ANTHONY: Sir, your breakfast is ready and set on the patio as you requested.

EDWARD: Thank you, Anthony, I will be down in a moment.

ANTHONY: Also, Lady Guinevere finished your costume, shall I lay it out for you?

EDWARD: Yes, please. Do you think it might be too scary?

ANTHONY: In all honesty, it gives me the chills, Sir., but nothing seems to scare these new generations anymore, so I’m sure it will be fine. At what time shall we be expecting your guests?

EDWARD: At eight.

ANTHONY: Everything is prepared, Sir.

EDWARD: Thank you. (As Anthony is walking away) Anthony…

ANTHONY: Yes, Sir?

EDWARD: Do you think she would be proud of me?

ANTHONY: Of course, Sir.

EDWARD: There is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss her...

ANTHONY: I know, Sir. We all miss her…

EDWARD: Please, shut the door on your way out; I’ll be down soon.

ANTHONY: Yes, Sir. (Shuts the door; Edward puts the music back on, the same song, and continues to stare at the mirror).

Cut to – October 31st, 1886, New Jersey State Lunatic Asylum. A patient is being submitted to experimental treatments.

NURSE: Doctor, is this really necessary? Seems somewhat cruel…

DOCTOR: Are you a Doctor? (Shakes her head) I didn’t think so. Your job is to assist me, not to voice your opinion, understood?

NURSE: Yes, pardon me, Doctor.

DOCTOR: If you are uncomfortable with this situation, you are free to gather your things and leave.

NURSE: No, forgive me, I was out of line, Doctor.

DOCTOR: Can you not see that this woman is sick? She needs help. That is what I am doing, trying to fix her. (Another Doctor comes in).

DOCTOR 2: Doctor, how is the procedure coming along? We cannot have another incident, like the previous one.

DOCTOR: It is too early to tell but I believe it has worked this time, especially given the patient’s miraculous ability to heal so quickly, it is quite uncanny.

DOCTOR 2: Let us hope it does work. The last incident was particularly difficult to cover-up.

DOCTOR: I know, but it’s trial and error, my friend. Worry not, at least for now. The patient is heavily sedated, she won’t be waking up for a couple of hours. I will monitor her status every hour on the hour. In the meantime, (to the Nurse) tidy up in here and replace her restraint harness.

NURSE: Yes, Doctor. (Both Doctors leave, the Nurse cleans the room and replaces the patient’s restraint harness. She leans close to the patient’s face and caresses her cheek, the patient opens her eyes…)

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To be continued...

Part 1 continuation coming right up! Sorry, I had to split the parts into parts since I can only have 5 videos per post, and the special requires many musical entries.

TVD 9X05 Halloween Special, hope you stop by, read and enjoy! =)

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theglowstickchronicles · 5 years ago

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FMLS90: catch up, plus getting ahead since I know this weekend will be super busy

12/18 - Do you have a regular sleep pattern? What time do you go to bed and wake up? Do you nap?

So last year I took a Monday through Friday, 8-5 kinda gig. Prior to that I was working 3 days a week, 12 hour shifts, and would occasionally nap on my days off. Now I only get 2 days off (Saturday and Sunday) so I do not nap. The one outlier to this is if I flex my work hours and work weird hours... or am sick. I typically go to bed around 9-10pm, and am awake around 4:30-5:30. This week has been different since I worked weird hours, was sick, and it was a holiday.

12/19 - Do you have any challenges that make getting sleep diffacult? Things like being a new parent, or shift work, or chronic pain? How do you deal with these challenges?

I've had bouts of insomnia in the past but otherwise no. I do keep melatonin on hand which doesn't necessarily put me to sleep, but does sometimes make it easier.

12/20 - How Is your sleep environment ? Does it promote good sleep? Are there any changes you would like to make?

No, I think my sleep environment is a good one. Nice big bed to myself, comfy sheets, more pillows than I could ever use, nice and quiet and dark. I would probably sleep in later if I didn't have cats who NEEDED to eat breakfast at 4:30am every day but such is life.

12/21 - Do you find yourself falling asleep when you don’t intend to? Do you have any other sights that you may not be getting enough sleep?

Not usually! Occasionally I have a super boring meeting that I find myself drifting a little, or this week I was falling asleep on the couch (but again, sick) but usually I save it for bedtime.

12/22 - If you could offer one sleep tip to the community, what would it be?

You really do have to find what works for you. My old college roommate needed sound, usually the TV, to fall asleep... I usually like quiet and darkness, though sometimes I'll play music. TV usually keeps me up.

12/23 - Share either your favorite or least favorite memory of 2019. If you would like, feel free and do both.

My favorite and least favorite memories might be the same weekend. We went away to upstate NY with friends and had a great time playing games, drinking, going to a show, etc... but during that same weekend we went hiking and I just was so out of shape. That weekend is what prompted my foray into running.

12/24- Share a picture and or story from the beginning of the year and one now. Talk about what has changed over that time.

Last spring the manager of the floor I am the educator on was out for 2 weeks (and then ended up leaving for a promotion but that's a different story). While she was out I was working 12 hour days, 5 days a week. The floor was floundering and I was right in the thick of it. This week the new manager is out all week for the holiday... and I've managed to leave right on time, if not early, every day. This is kind of sad but part of me realized that it's no longer my job to staff the floor or fill in for charge, and that this is just work; I only get paid for 40 hours a week, so anything after that is on my own time. No one on the floor is willing to come in on their own time, so I stopped spending so much of my own there. I can't say I'm totally perfect because I still spend over 40 hours there quite often, but it's nowhere near as much as it used to be.

12/25 - What did you learn in 2019? How can you apply that in the future?

I learned a lot about what people are and are not willing to do for me, despite what I do for them. I pet-sit for some friends and make sure I feed, water, and play with their pets, including cleaning the litterbox; only one of them will reciprocate and watch my animals, and they drop down the bare minimum of food and leave. I asked to go to a cidery for my birthday and only 4 people came; my two closest friends left early for another birthday party in the family and asked for us to meet up at a bar to celebrate later that night. I ended up leaving early because I was tired but I didn't even get a "happy birthday", nevermind a free drink. I am willing to come into work at 4am to see night shift but they aren't willing to stay past 0730 for a 10 minute in-service. And I'm not saying I expect these things, but it did show me that just because I do something for someone doesn't mean I am going to get any form of reciprocation. I've re-evaluated how far I am willing to go for people and reigned it in, just a smidge. I used to go out of my way and sometimes even put myself at a disadvantage to do all of these things and now I've stopped doing that as much.

12/26 - How did your friendships and relationships change in 2019? Are you satisfied with this? What do you want to do to improve your most important relationships in 2020?

2019 was a little rough with work friends because they literally almost all have kids now, so we don't go out aftrer work almost ever. Things have to be planned way in advance. I don't think my relationship with my best friend has changed, but also I don't think it needed to? We have a great friendship. My two closest friends in state changed a little since I realized that I was putting far more effort into the friendship than they were, and I toned it down a little.

12/27 - How did your habits change in 2019? Are you satisfied with this? What do you want to do to improve your most important habits in 2020?

I worked out more and ate better, but not great on either front. I have a plan for 2020 to fix this :)

12/28 - What is your theme for 2020? Describe how you would like 2020 to be in a word or sentence

Glow-Up

12/29 - What is one goal you have for 2020. What are you going to do to make it a reality? (We will revisit this in more detail next week, for now write a few sentences documenting the goal and high level approach to deal with it.)

Become more active!

I have a plan for this but basically I want to hit certain yearly milage goals, spin class goals, clean eating goals, outdoorsy goals... I have a whole process that I am just fleshing out at this point. For so many years I have dieted and exercised based on fads or certain diets (keto, AIP, intermittent fasting, etc).... but now I am trying to tailor my diet to my specific needs and wants. More to come on the subject :)

#fmls90 #fmls90 catch up

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anuknowha · 6 years ago

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Its Christmas Darling!

Title: Its Christmas Darling!

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Yaoi

Rating: R

Pairing: Rami Malek X Freddie Mercury

Word Count: 1,644

Characters w spaces: 9,034

Characters w/o spaces: 7,423

Written for an anon who requested a Rami x Freddie on @brianmayplease blog.

Rami and Freddie celebrate their first Christmas together after Bohemian Rhapsody hits theaters.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND ENJOY!

"Good morning!!" A voiced echoed through the mansion in a caroling manner.

"And Merry Christmas!!" Was what soon followed after.

It was still quiet throughout this place, even though a man and his favorite "darling" stayed everyday.

Freddie Mercury was up early, making sure the finishing touches were on his Christmas tree. Small ornaments of the Queen members and cast of Bohemian Rhapsody were created both quickly and easily. They were hung to cover the tree in a very organized manner which helped give this beautiful tree a touch of both personality and reality. And on top was a golden star that held a photo of all of them, smiling and carrying on.

"Breakfast!!" He hummed loud enough for his partner to hear.

Rami only turned over to the sound, tired from setting up decorations and doing a lot of the gift wrapping. He even cooked them dinner last night as an early present to Freddie.

"Rami, darling, I went to buy us breakfast!!" Freddie said as he slowed ascended the stairs.

Rami only let out a small groan as his eyes opened. Looking at the clock he let out a long sigh.

"It's 4am Freddie. It's too early to be getting up."

"But it's Christmas dear." Freddie purred as he entered the bedroom.

Delilah was sitting on the floor keeping her distance from Rami and staying quiet as her tail swayed back and forth. Freddie sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Rami's head softly.

"Please do wake up, it would mean so much to me if we could get up early and spend some time together before the others get here."

"We will, I'll get up at six."

"Now please. I don't want breakfast getting cold." He gentle placed a kiss on his cheek.

It took a moment for Rami to think it over. A small chuckle eventually erupted from his lips.

"I'll eat breakfast just for you." He said sitting up.

"Thank you."

With a quick flick of the wrist, Freddie threw the covers off of Rami, who was in a cat onesie. He got up rubbing his eyes and gave his lover a peck on the lips.

"Just breakfast."

"Breakfast and one present!" Freddie exclaimed.

Rami rolled his eyes playfully.

"Breakfast. And ONE present." He repeated. "Than back to bed."

Without another word, Freddie grabbed his hand and ran downstairs with him.

The table was set with silverware and two large plates of food. Each full of eggs, pancakes and the usual assortment of meats.

"You're an amazing chef." Rami chuckled.

Freddie nudged his arm and let out a small laugh.

"You know I'm not the best cook darling and I already told you I ordered out!"

"I know, I know!"

He sat down at the table and grabbed a fork, slowly poking it into the eggs. Bringing it to his mouth, his drowsy face soon lit up and forkful after forkful he stuffed his face.

Freddie sat down to eat as well, and he couldn't help but watch Rami who seemed to enjoy the food more than he did.

Within five minutes the plate was empty, little crumbs abd scraps were left in Rami's plate as he cleaned his mouth with a nearby napkin. Meanwhile, Freddie was still eating, and excited about his gift for the love of his life.

"You're eating pretty slow." Rami glanced over at him.

"Yes, I want to be able to look at you a little longer because I know that after you open your gift, you'll be on your way back to bed. And I'm not ready for that."

A small kiss was placed on Freddie's forehead.

"Take your time than."

Soon Freddie finished his plate and danced into the living room and towards the Christmas tree. There were tons of presents underneath, some even labeled to his cats, but one in particular was what he wanted his love to open most. Picking up a large golden wrapped present with a giant red bow, he handed it to Rami.

"Here, darling, I hope you like it."

"For me?"

"Of course! Please hurry, open it!" You could tell that he could hardly contain himself, trying not to jump up and down.

Unwrapping the paper, a large white box was revealed to his eyes, pulling off the top only left him in awe. In the box was an exact replica of Freddie's 1986 Wembley jacket, a pair of those red and white pants and black and white Adidas. Rami was speechless, lost for words as his eyes widened into a state of shock and disbelief.

"Well, how do you like it?" Freddie wondered as he stood there waiting for a response.

"I absolutely love it!" He pulled him into a hug.

The embrace was warm and loving and Freddie returned the feeling.

"I know that in the movie, you didn't get to do this performance so I decided that maybe you could reenact it yourself when you get time."

"You didn't have to do that kitten."

"I did!" As Freddie pulled away from the hug, he pulled him in for a kiss which only lasted a few seconds.

"Please, try it on" he beckoned.

With a nod, Rami was off to change. Minutes later he came back, sporting the outfit just like he had any other of Freddie's clothes. The only thing that was missing was a t shirt underneath it.

"You look absolutely stunning!" Freddie said as he circled Rami, looking at his lover's body, taking in his work.

"I think I've done a good job, if I do say so myself." He nods to himself.

"I love it so much Freddie!"

"I knew you would, you look just like me." He embraced him, pulling him into a long and passionate kiss.

Rami kissed him back, wrapping his arms around the bigger man's waist, and pulling him closer.

Soon Rami tried to pull away only to be held tight in his spot.

"Freddie its time for me-" he paused as he noticed something was pressed against his leg.

"Rami I'm sorry..." Freddie purred as he started kissing the younger man's neck.

A soft groan let out from Rami's lips. And as his lips parted, Freddie slid his tongue in. Their soft pink muscles became intertwined as Freddie became quick to pull the iconic yellow jack down from his partner's arms. It revealed his chest, which had a lot less hair than his, but he loved nonetheless. He pushed him to the couch, and Rami landed on it with a soft thud before falling back onto it. Within seconds Rami had flipped them over.

"I got you a present." He grinned as he kissed down Freddies neck leaving small hickeys here and there.

Pulling Freddie's pants down, his erection outlined his underwear. And being the tease he is, Rami only strokes it for a minute as he stared into his eyes.

"Darling.~"

Rami doesn't say a word but instead responds by running his hand over the rim of his underwear and pulling them down. He put his head down, and slid his soft tongue out, beginning to lick and suck at Freddie's erect penis.

"It's sweet" Rami hums as he takes his partner deeper into his mouth.

It wasn't long before his erection hit the back of his throat. He couldn't take in anymore but he tried his best. Freddie's fingers danced through his hair as he pulled him down further on his penis causing him to gag some.

Bobbing his head up and down, he watched as the older man under him started squirming and moaning under his touch.

"Rami dear-" Freddie huffed as he pulled him off of his erection, leaving it throbbing and needy.

"Not yet... Not yet. I want to cum inside you."

Rami's face became flushed and he pulled himself off of Freddie's lap and got up so that he could remove his white pants so they won't get dirty.

His erection stood tall and proud as well as he slowly folded the pants and sat them on the side of the couch. Soon he took off his boxers and threw them to the side leaving himself completely exposed. As he went over to Freddie, he hovered his entrance over his erection.

"Ready?" Rami smirked.

And without another word, he lowered himself on Freddie and let out a soft moan.

"Fuck darling, you're so tight." Freddie huffed.

"It's been a while hasn't it?" Rami said leaning down to kiss his lover on the lips.

He began moving up and down, bouncing himself on his hips. The room filled with their moans and the sound of the springs in the couch were becoming louder. With every thrust it became rougher but it didn't stop them. Freddie started sucking on Rami's bottom lip, tugging at it and leaving it slightly purple from bruises and bites.

"You're being rough kitten." Rami smirked as he kept himself at a steady pace.

"I can't help it when I see you riding me." Freddie laughed softly.

"Fuck." Freddie moaned as he arched his back.

"Cumming already?"

"I told you I can't help it." Freddie held onto Rami's hips and thristed upwards into him.

"Freddie fuck!"

Freddie smirked and noticed that Rami was close as well.

"Let's cum together my love~"

And with a few more thrusts, Freddie came inside him and Rami released his seed on his partner's chest.

Tired and feeling achieved, Rami got off his lap and laid down on his chest, not caring that his own sticky seed was also going to make a mess on him. As they embrace each other they both try to catch their breath.

"I love you Freddie and Merry Christmas." Rami said closing his eyes.

"I love you too Rami dear." Freddie said kissing his forehead as they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

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tifarobles · 6 years ago

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Sanity Check: Inside Mental Health

I will be alright. Everything is going to be fine. I promise.

At least that’s what I kept trying to tell myself. I had to. It had to be okay.

That’s how I got through 3 years of turbulent ups and downs and falling deeper into a debilitating anxiety disorder that seemed to be triggered by my miscarriage.

I was 16 when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I wanted to do all I could to avoid being dependent on pharmaceuticals. I’d experienced my mother going through a terrible time trying to stop taking Paxil and I didn’t want to go through that. I wanted to find other ways to deal with my disorder. I did a decent job most of the time. In fact, I don’t think many people even knew I was bipolar. It pretty much only impacted my romantic relationships and very close friendships.

I can point to exact times in my life when I knew I’d been depressed and even more times when I knew I’d been in pretty serious manic episodes. It was usually after a huge life change. It seemed like my body’s way of adapting to something new. However, I can’t pinpoint any of these episodes since being married.

I wasn’t sure if my symptoms were less noticeable in a more stable state or if I had somehow outgrown my disorder. I even wondered if Mike had somehow helped me overcome it. But I never really knew why...

Turns out, it had warped into General Anxiety Disorder. I had never experienced a true panic attack before the miscarriage. Suddenly, they were part of my daily life.

I assumed that once I was able to grieve properly and recover from the tragedy, that my anxiety would fade. However, it only seemed to get worse after Xander was born. It didn’t help that shortly after that I unexpectedly lost my job at Xbox while on maternity leave due to the position being eliminated.

This was my dream job. I had left a very stable, comfortable position in something I was very good at to pursue this seemingly perfect for me job. Everyone told me to take this job, even though I was 6 months pregnant. Even though I was on a brand new team for a brand new role with untred territory. I’d worked for 6 years to get into a position like this one. I had to do all I could for this job.

And just like that… it was gone.

On top of that, Mike was all set up to be a stay-at-home dad, so we had no source of income or insurance for our newborn baby.

The next day Trump was elected.

Let’s just say, that was a miserable week for my emotions. Could I ever feel happy again? I’d look at my son and feel happy enough not to worry.

It wasn’t too long before Mike found some remote work and I was hired at GTS. I had to take a substantial pay cut for this career move, but there were a lot of perks to consider and huge potential for growth. I assumed everything was coming together again and that my emotions would soon follow.

Adjusting to being a working mom was easier than I expected, but still very hard. However, feedback at work was telling me that I was really good at this job. I poured myself into it, taking trips to visit stores, sometimes doing work on weekends, trying to fit the role I never expected to fit. And I liked it. I loved the stores I worked with, and while there were challenging days, overall I felt happy.

As things always do in corporate jobs, things changed. There were some changes for the new year, including a pay cut. I had just switched to commision and was barely making my base salary. Luckily, by this time Mike had gotten a really great job and Xander was loving daycare. I thought it would be okay to make less than I’d ever made if I kept being happy. Was I happy though? I was stressed all the time, always thinking about work, always being completely exhausted from motherhood, trying to maintain so many things every day.

I would look at my life, and outside of raising Xander, I didn’t feel like I was doing anything truly fulfilling. What had happened to my creativity? When was the last time I’d written something? When was the last time I sang a new song? What would 16-year-old dreamer me think of where I was?

I was a good mom. That was the most fulfilling aspect of my entire life. My true legacy and something I had always wanted. He was perfect.

But don’t I deserve more? I’d feel terrible for thinking it. Like, what’s wrong with me? I have everything I’ve ever wanted.

But I knew that was a lie. I’d always wanted more.

Founding LPS came close to what I wanted to do for this world. It scratched that itch for me for years. But it was so much harder now being a mom. It was so hard dividing my time between LPS, Xander, Mike, work, family, friends, and (OMG do I dare think it?) myself! I couldn’t do as much for LPS as I used to and I hadn’t been as deeply involved in a long time. It’s just... different when I can’t go every week. Or maybe it’s different because I’ve been doing it for so long and I’m ready to move on to my next big fulfilling project.

But then I found out that I’d be going to GAMA, representing GTS. Maybe I could find my next project through GTS. Maybe it will be at the other end of the show. I felt honored to be selected. While at the show, I networked until 4am, getting up at 7am to be on time to have a few minutes of breakfast with my team. I became close friends with some other GTS employees while at the show who wanted to work with me more. I was excited for those opportunities. What more could I do with this great company?

Within a few weeks, I was in talks with the marketing department. I was told that I had all the skills that they were looking for. It sounded like a role I’d be good at. One I’d get to finally be creative full-time, something I’d never really gotten to try.

But they wanted someone who could travel. A lot.

I suddenly felt like I was suffocating under the choice between this amazing opportunity or being with my son on weekends.

I couldn’t do that.

I didn’t get the job. But I was still in sales. Yay? I didn’t know how to feel. I was barely making enough to pay for daycare on my worst months. I was literally working in order to pay to be away from my son all week. To do a job that I liked, but that I wasn’t really passionate about. Looking at the paychecks was scary. Everything felt scary. Like weirdly scary.

Car rides alone could cause anxiety attacks. And I had to do a lot of driving since Mike was commuting to Seattle and kicking serious ass at his new job. But I couldn’t keep going on like this.

The anxiety was unbelievable. I couldn’t see into my life. I couldn’t define what it was that I wanted. That too was scary. All I saw was being a good mom, but what else was I… good at? What was I passionate about besides my family? Had I lost my defining characteristic of passion? This thought alone could send me into a racing heart and tension headache. This was anxiety. But I didn’t understand it. I’d never felt this before.

I needed help. I couldn’t take off time from work for therapy. I couldn’t find a therapist outside of work hours. The anxiety had gotten worse. I experienced a 20-day headache. I went to the doctor… where I was first diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. I scheduled 6 appointments with therapists. I took time off work to go. I started to take medication for the first time in my life. I had very little PTO for anything. I worked every hour I could to make up for it. I got worse before getting better. I took a medical leave.

On medical leave, I felt like I was seeing for the first time in… years? I would find true happiness in the littlest of things. Xander’s shoes, the smell of his hair, the cat following me around at 1am while I stayed up writing.

I was still passionate. I was still that dreamer. I was still defined by passion. I found passion in my story. I had found my project. It had been in front of me this entire time.

The project I’ve been wanting to finish for over 15 years. Over half of my life.

I looked at my life goals and realized I’d followed the biggest one already by having an amazing partner and child to share my life with. But what was next for me?

Why had I spent 3 years writing instead of having a social life as a teenager? Why had I studied for 4 years with no sleep to obtain a degree in Creative Writing? Why could these characters I created so long ago never once leave my mind? I could see their faces as clearly as the day I created them, drawn mediocrely on lined paper with colored pencils. Now created in every game that has a built-in character creator. Each person that I’d given deep back stories and interesting character arcs, with development far beyond what you’d think a boy-crazy, 14-year-old, awkward, opinionated girl obsessed with video games would be capable of.

I had to follow my dreams. It would never be the right time. “I have to do this before I turn 30,” I thought. As though I’d be able to inform that 14-year-old girl that her hard work would get published before she turns 30. High five her and let her know she makes a great mom and has a husband who knows how to dance, before flying away on a unicorn. I had to make a change. I approached Mike with the idea. He was fully supportive. He’d been with me on this journey through some rough times and questions like “What do I want to do with my life?” at 2am on random nights when I’d wake him up because I couldn’t sleep. He knew I would be happy pursuing this. He knew I needed happiness again. He knew we’d be okay, no matter what.

I don’t know if it’s the medication, my amazing therapist, the life changes, or my luck with having the most amazingly supportive family, but I am so happy. I can’t say the anxiety is gone, that is still a daily struggle. But I know I can be grateful for so many things and that helps calm me down. I am following my dreams. I can’t promise it won’t be a difficult adventure at times, in fact, I’m sure it will be very difficult. But I will be happy while I adventure.

#sanitycheck #mental health #anxitey #gaming industry

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shrinkingwmn · 7 years ago

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A cat in a booster seat.

A playboy bunny image made out of snow.

A lot of Tim Hortons.

A carnival in transport.

A couple stops at Peter’s Drive In.

A best friend’s wedding.

And of course…food. Lots and lots of yummy food.

Those are but a glimpse of what made up my little May vacation.

I drove one province over to attend, and take part in!, my best friend’s wedding. I say “I” but it was really “we” since I go nowhere without the cat. He spent his 13 hours in a booster seat designed for dogs (don’t tell him that!) because there is a serious lack of travel items designed for cats.

Silent protest – something he is very very good at!

Sidenote: if anybody has start up money and wants to invest, I have some great ideas for a range of products to make travelling with your cat easier, lol.

Back to the trip!

On the way there we saw pieces of a carnival being transported who knows where, a muffin disaster at a Tim Hortons in Golden BC, a Playboy Bunny logo made out of snow on a mountain, oh, and there were a couple escape attempts by the cat when silent protest was deemed too calm of a way to show his displeasure.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I have been trying oh so hard for six months or so to not screw up so I would be able to fit in my bridesmaids dress and yay me, I fit! I did however get so caught up in the day I forgot to get a full length picture of me in the dress, sigh. So the best you’re gonna get is this selfie…

Gratuitous selfie.

I’m not going to share pics of the wedding, because well, that would be a lot of people to track down to ask if they are ok with their pics going on this blog and ain’t nobody got time for that! 😉 Rest assured, it was beautiful. It was an outdoor ceremony at a mansion, pictures were done on location and also in an area with a great city view as the background. The reception was in a hall that I and others helped decorate the day prior. I gotta say, my friend is quite the savvy shopper. She got the place looking exactly how she wanted without breaking the bank.

Instead of a wedding cake there were doughnuts from some fancy bakery. Brilliant idea if you ask me!

I didn’t actually get to eat my doughnut, *pout*, as a drunk groomsman took it out of my hand as I was about to take a bite and ate it. Ate my doughnut. The doughnut that belonged to a lady who’d be dieting for 6 months. I’m impressed I didn’t jump him like a crazed animal.

Instead I ate a slice of pizza, that was second dinner, and oh my god was it goooood! Handmade crust by the caterer that was hired, seriously best crust I’ve ever had. I ended up eating a couple bites from three different slices, which makes me sound like a jerk but it is actually that the servers were just too darn efficient.

See, I had a slice, took one bite, someone was all “you’ve got to come dance!”, so I put the pizza down (on a plate I mean), went and danced, and when I came back it was gone. So like any normal person I used this as an opportunity to try a different kind of pizza, grabbed a new slice, took a bite, and basically the same thing happened, except I think it was me that was all “I love this song, I must dance!”, and yeah, when I got back the rest of my slice was gone. Not to be thwarted I grabbed a third slice, ate the crust first (the crust is the best part and I’d not managed to eat any of it yet lol), had a couple bites of the part of the slice that had toppings, and then threw it out so I could go dance.

Have you figured out yet that I like to dance? 😉

I decided in total that equals to me eating one full slice, right?

I spent the day after the wedding wanting to die lol Hung over and sun stroked, my poor body was having none of it and I basically slept the day away on my parent’s couch. Aren’t I such a stellar example of being a grown-up! lol

Once I was feeling better things were pretty normal for one of my trips there. Visited with friends. Did some shopping. Chilled with the parents.

Granted, there was the day where a slice of cheesecake was both my breakfast and lunch which was pretty awesome…

From the Spinelli Italian Centre Shop. Go there. It’s worth it!

But ya know, other than cheesecake overload things were pretty normal.

The return trip was fairly uneventful. The cat and I finished our audio book, he didn’t seem at all surprised by the ending. 😉 We got a milkshake at Peter’s Drive In, which if you are ever in the vicinity of Calgary AB you must must must go to Peter’s.

Best. Milkshakes. Ever.

And no, I didn’t get a picture, I was too busy driving and drinking the milkshake to take one. 😛

We got home super late, I took care of essentials – like putting the milk and wine in the fridge and having a shower, then we crawled in to bed where we both slept the way only travel weary people and cats can. I woke up briefly around 10 am (we went to bed at 4am so no judging!), looked at the time, said “nope”, rolled back over and went back to sleep. The cat didn’t even bother to wake up, he just stayed asleep until I got up at 3pm. Neither of us care for the whole waking up part of our day, we are well matched like that lol 😛

We wake up under protest, daily.

There ya have it! Our little road trip sadly is over, but we have memories and pictures, and a little more body fat, to remind us of all the fun we had. We are both back to routine, me with my two jobs and dragon boat practices, he with all his cat chores. The only big thing that is a constant reminder of the trip is the suitcase I still haven’t put away but I’m determined to do that tomorrow!…says the woman who has been putting it off for 6 days…ah well, it’ll get done eventually! 🙂

The May Vacation A cat in a booster seat. A playboy bunny image made out of snow. A lot of Tim Hortons.

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rainsonata · 7 years ago

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A Boy and His Cube

Fandom/Shipping(s): Elsword, none Rating: K Word Count: 1,477

Summary: It’s hard to get work done when sharing a house with five other people. Arc’s fascination with Apocalypse is enough to make Mastermind reconsider if teaching his younger self was a good idea.

Christmas gift for a friend.

Mastermind sat cross legged on the sofa as he took a long sip from his coffee mug with his eyes strained on the monitors. Wrapping himself with the wool blanket from his room, he refused to be caught wearing those ugly Christmas sweaters Psyker was so proud to show to him with a matching pair (“We can be twins!”) as he cackled at his own joke. Never was he so horrified to put up with the brawler’s stupid humor.

With five other occupants in the house he shared with his counterparts, it was a rarity for the scientist to have the living room to himself. The only sound audible outside of the music playing from Dynamo was from his keyboard as he typed away. After yesterday’s dungeon run with Esper and Psyker, he wanted to input his data before making important decisions on updating his weapons again. He moved to the next line in his report when he heard a crash from the room next to him and stopped.

Closing his monitors, Mastermind threw off his blanket with some reluctance and was met with cold air that made him wish he didn’t leave his seat. When he poked his head into the room next door, he was met with a set of identical magenta eyes belonging to Arc, who was having a staring contest with Apocalypse. The cat cube hissed at his younger self as it speeds over to where Mastermind was to hide behind the scientist.

“What are you doing?” Mastermind ignored Apocalypse nudging itself against his leg for attention.

“Nothing,” the Arc Tracer said with an innocent smile.

Mastermind squinted at Arc. Did he have to install a security camera in the cat cube to monitor what his younger self was doing when he turned away? To answer the rhetorical question, he already did.

Despite his complaints of never having the sufficient time to get through all his personal projects, Mastermind did make time to run through the recordings every now and again. Part of it was curiosity in seeing how long it would take Arc to break through the protected codes he gave him when they first met. The reason why he decided to monitor Arc in the first place was because-

“Unlocking Apocalypse from the back of his ears won’t work,” he said

“What?” Arc looked away when Mastermind hid his amusement with a stoic facade. The tracer mistaken the expression as disappointment and said, “Why would I want to unlock Apochan?”

A loud snort erupted from Mastermind with the scientist covering his mouth. No longer able to control himself, he leaned his head over as he laughed at the nickname Arc gave to the cat cube. Apocalypse meowed at its shortened name, peeking from behind Mastermind to steal a glance at Arc before hiding again.

It took a minute or so for Mastermind to regain his composure and look at Arc again, stopping himself from chuckling at his younger self’s worried expression.

“You can’t take it apart,” Mastermind picked up Apocalypse and held it against his chest to scratch it behind the ears. The cat cube vibrated with a soft purr in content, its ears laid flat against its head.

“I want to see how it’s built,” Arc protested when it became clear that Mastermind didn’t believe his lies. “Give me the codes.”

“No,” he gave Arc a stern look. “That’s what the files I gave you are for.”

When they first met, the brat demanded this too, not even a proper introduction of who he was, where he was from, or why he was here. Codes, codes, Esper, codes. The files he gave Arc were meant to unlock when the tracer found a way to break through the password protected archives. With his laziness however, Arc seemed to spend more time talking to Psych and playing with his toys than putting effort into the help Mastermind tried to give him.

Maybe Psyker was right, he was beginning to sound like a parent with all these lectures and talks he had had with Arc. Mastermind frowned at the thought of being someone’s father, but pushed it away. Was this really the time to think about that topic?

“I’m still working on them,” Arc complained. “It won’t listen to me when I try to test it out and you have passwords for your passwords! Don’t you trust me?”

“No.”

“But I am you!”

“That’s exactly why I don’t trust you,” Mastermind said. “Harassing my inventions aren’t going to get you answers”

Impulsive, ambitious, and no shame in digging deep into things to satisfy his own curiosity. Give the tracer one set of codes and the brat would demand for another. Arc was already forming poor sleeping habits because of his influence and his hair was getting longer if not for Psych reminding him for the occasional trim. He was more like Mastermind than what he was comfortable with. The house didn’t need two lazy scientists.

“Why did you even give it emotions?” Arc eyed the cube, who sank its weight into Mastermind’s arms to glare at the tracer. “It doesn’t need that to function.”

Of course it isn’t, Mastermind scowled. It happened because of his attempt to install a personality core for it to emulate a cat, preferably the aloof and destructive side of them. While it displayed the desired personality traits when assisting him in battle mode, it had a cuddly side that appreciated sitting on his lap and demanding attention when it felt ignored for too long. It was a glitch that only seemed to exist when it exited battle mode and left to idle around his lab.

“A little accident,” Mastermind shrugged and held up the cube to see it tremble when it saw Arc staring at it. “It can still fight, so no reason to change what already works. Look at it, you’re giving it anxiety.”

Arc looked at it with guilt visible on his face. Aha, so he did have feelings other than being smug and whining to him about research. Reaching his hand out to the cube, he let Apocalypse look at it for a few seconds before petting it with an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, Apo.” He scratched behind its ears. Apocalypse’s concerned expression was replaced with content with it chirping when it heard its nickname. Arc asked, “If you won’t tell me about Apo, can you give me a hint at least for the codes? I promise I’ll help you next time with an experiment!”

He said he would come, but how much help would he be? Mastermind mused his options of letting his pupil snoop around his lab again with his consent. It wasn’t a bad idea if he was being honest. Better than leaving the tracer alone to his own devices and growing bored. Besides, it’s been a few weeks since Arc last came to him for help on cracking the new set of codes he gave him. It wouldn’t hurt to nudge him a little bit to the right direction.

“No plans with Psych tomorrow?” Mastermind raised a brow when he thought about those two and sometimes Time tagging along for their own dungeon excursions and gods know what trouble they were up to outside the house.

“I said I would help,” he insisted. “Tell me when.”

Placing Apocalypse back to the ground, Mastermind let it fly off to another room, probably in search for the bubble wrap Esper dropped in the living room. He crossed his arms and with a sly smile, “Tomorrow morning after breakfast. Don’t forget to wake up.”

“And you’ll wake up?” Arc asked with sarcasm.

Mastermind grinned, “Who said anything about that?”

Arc dropped his smile and snarled at the word ‘morning’. Both were aware how bad they were with mornings and waking up at noon wasn’t an anomaly, but he didn’t expect Mastermind to subject himself to that. He had a feeling Mastermind would take an early nap to wake up at 4am and stay up until morning before passing out again later that day.

The tracer glared at Mastermind, “Fine.”

Mastermind slapped his younger self on the back, “Then it’s settled. See you tomorrow~”

“Asshole,” he overheard Arc grumble when the tracer left to go back to his own business.

The scientist chuckled, “Glad to help.”

Even if it meant having to wake up early like a normal human being, having someone to talk to in his lab was something that didn’t happen enough and it was almost enough to make Mastermind eager. When he found Apocalypse occupying the spot where he sat earlier today, he tried coaxing it away, but it remained there until Mastermind joined it on the opposite side of the sofa. Opening his monitors again, he went back to where he left off before he was rudely interrupted by his younger self.

#elsword #eltag #Add (Elsword)#Arc Tracer #Mastermind #mywriting #my writing #Elsword fanfiction #thank you for talking about Add with me u v u #it's been a good year spamming fanart of the nerd

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inadarkdarkroom · 7 years ago

Text

Opening & Shutting

When I was 10 my parents moved us from air force base housing to a split level home they bought rather cheaply. I remember having to stay with my godfather for a few months, because the house was a bit unlivable and needed repairs before we moved in. Every day my sister and I would be stuck in the big empty house while my mother worked and my step father did all of the repairs and renovations himself.

The neighborhood kids, especially the older ones, were full of stories about abuse, mental disturbances, and a death happening in the house before the family just sort of left without much warning. I never followed up with actual adults or more reputable sources to see if any of it was true. Having seen the state of the house and considering the implications, I didn’t want to know. There were fist-sized holes in the walls filled with playdough. Storage spaces clearly used as sleeping quarters. Cracked mirrored walls. A toilet used despite not having a wax seal around it (so it leaked continuously all over the carpeted [yeah, carpeted] bathroom) Hand prints and stains on walls and the wood floors that even my childhood self was unnerved by.

We fixed it up just enough for it to be livable before money ran out, but it was still a sort of rickety place. The kind of place where the floors are so squeaky you can echolocate every single person in the house (this fact becomes relevant later). My sister and I never felt comfortable there. We both told my mother as much, but she basically told us to suck it up and that everything would be fine. And for the most part it was, my sister went through an intense period of being afraid of a being in her closet, while I never wanted to be alone in, or turn my back on the basement out of a very primal and inexplicable dread, but that’s all pretty normal stuff for kids, really. We always told my mother. Citing evidence like how the cat always slowly watched something in repeating patterns from the front door to the kitchen back and up the stairs. She would shake it off as nothing, our imagination, or she would tell us about seeing weird ghost-like things as a kid and assure us that we were always safe. We didn’t really believe her, but just also kind of went about our lives. Then puberty hit me and 4 years later, my sister. We fought. Constantly. Even more than we did as kids. That’s when shit started getting real. I randomly started sleep walking and would stand at the foot of my parent’s bed, staring at them until my very light sleeping mother would wake up. My sister followed suit, to a lesser extent, a year or so later. I experienced sleep paralysis and night terrors more and more commonly until they happened most nights. Pictures would “fall” off of walls, and stuff would fall off of shelves in the middle of the night. Cups and coffee pots were known to shatter for absolutely no reason. The air in my room became so cold my breath would rain back on me in the Summer, and would freeze into a large patch of ice on the ceiling just above my pillow in Winter. My sister and I both resorted to staying awake and reading until the sun came up, afraid to sleep until the exhaustion forced us to. All the while, I became more angry and anxious and my sister became more depressed and withdrawn, which means we fought harder and longer and more frequently. My parents were at their wits end trying to figure out what was wrong with us or where they went wrong. Every once in awhile, my mother, a family member, or a friend would reference the family before us, or offhandedly say the word “spirit” and “poltergeist”

Then one night, around 1am, I was in my room reading when I heard my sister’s bedroom door open. It was followed by the sound of our shared bathroom door opening and shutting, so I thought very little of it. Then, my parent’s room’s door opened and shut, and I figured my sister getting up had woken up my mom and she was checking on the noise. Soon after my parent’s door opened and shut, then the bathroom door again and then my sister’s room again. All seemed normal. Until from two levels down stairs I hear the playroom door open and shut, and every hair on my body raised all at once. No one inhabited that level. It was a tiny daylight/garden level kind of thing with the aforementioned broken bathroom, a laundry room, and a room we used basically for junk/toy overflow. We never shut the door to that room. We hardly were in that room for more than 10-15 minutes at a time. Then I heard my parent’s room go again. Open and shut. And my sister’s room. And the bathroom. And the playroom. And it started to get faster, so fast it would be impossible for one person to be doing this by themselves. Two things dawned on me, at this point. 1) I have not heard a single floorboard creak to indicate anyone/thing was walking around. 2) My door is probably next. I throw myself out of my bed and grab the doorknob, plant my foot on the wall behind me, and my other hand half on the door frame and half on the door. At this point all the doors in the house are opening and shutting. Not loudly or forcefully but quickly and without consistent pattern or rhythm. There is no slamming. It’s like an army of very polite guests are moving from room to room aimlessly. Somewhere in there I noted that the front door and the door to the garage are both opening and shutting too, and those doors were always locked and double checked by everyone before they went to sleep.

Only a second after noticing the extra door noises, I felt it. The knob turned under my hand and the door moved inward and against me, as if someone was giving it just the slightest push, just like normal pressure you would apply to any bedroom door, and was surprised to meet resistance. I burst into tears and started mouthing prayers. It did it again, quicker the second time, just a jolt of a turn and push. I locked the door knob, spun around and leaned my back against the door. I slid down it to sit down and plant both feet against the wall across from me, praying my legs were a strong enough barricade.

The opening and shutting slowed down until it finally stopped. All told it was probably 2 minutes of activity or less, but it felt like a lifetime.

I stayed planted in the barricade position for hours panicked, breathing shallowly, hoping nothing could hear me. When I finally got up enough courage to get back into bed it was about 4am. I picked my book back up and read until the last bits of adrenaline left my system and I passed out due to exhaustion. When I woke up in the morning, I immediately convince myself that it must have been a weird night terror dream. All that noise, even such unobtrusive light noise, surely would have woken my mother at least, but no one came out of their rooms. I didn’t hear anyone speak. That should have woken the whole goddamn house, in all seriousness. All signs pointed to dream. I shook it all off, chalked it up to ever worsening nightmares, cursed my brain for being so fucked up to me, and headed downstairs relieved to hear the sounds of breakfast sizzling, looking forward to my mother’s unrelenting morning chipperness after such a night of dark dreams. I walked into the dining room and sat down to a plate already made for me, wished my mother and sister a good morning, and tucked into my eggs as my mother, sat at the table, annoyed look on her face, asked me, “Were you opening and shutting doors last night?”

More Scary Stories Here Submit Your Scary Story Here

#haunted #supernatural #ghosts #spirits #ghost #paranormal #scary #scary story #horror #spirit #demon #demons #demonic #entity #horror story #true story #ouija #freaky #weird #creepy

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copperbadge · 8 years ago

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Hi Sam! I'm curious about your magical time management skills: you have a full-time job, are super active in fandom, answer countless asks, write fanfiction and books, and still have time for jogging and many other stuffs. How do you organize yourself? I feel super overwhelmed due to lack of time and end up not doing what I want do. Do you allot time to do stuff? How does your typical day looks like? And any useful tips for us slackers.

I dunno how helpful it’ll be – I mean, some of it is time management, and some of it is that I have spent a long time working on arranging my life so that I have as much free time to pursue my own interests as possible. This hasn’t consciously meant giving up things like close brickspace friends and romantic relationships but in some ways it has kind of worked out that way. (Not that I couldn’t have those things if I chose to work towards them, in other words, but they don’t come naturally to me and I don’t mind the lack.)

So, I will give you a rundown of my average day, but before we begin, I will also give you some context! And this will be long so I’ll put it under a readmore.

I have at present no romantic partner, no children, no pets. This sounds sad, but I’m not complaining; I could work towards those things and choose not to, for a variety of reasons, some good, some not. I would like to have a partner, but honestly at this point in my life it’s as much because it’s cheaper to cohabitate; I am very independent and not, I suspect, built for the kind of daily intimacy that romantic cohabitation requires.

If I were to get a pet it would probably not be a dog, since when I was dogsitting for R I had real trouble with the concept of properly caring for a creature whose life was so scheduled, who required specific attentions at specific times – I have owned dogs before and love them deeply, but never in an apartment or as a solitary person. I would probably get a cat or an axolotl (axolotls: like being alone, require very specific but easy-to-procure stimulus, look like tiny water dragons, sound like fantasy aliens).

I have very few close brickspace friends, not by design but just because I’m kind of a private homebody, and my extensive network of online friendships is satisfying in that regard. But online friendships, while not LESS of a time commitment, are a different kind of commitment – you can multitask while hanging out with online friends, you don’t have travel times, if they’re running late you’re not stuck waiting and vice versa.

I also am not in school, which is much more life-consuming than many jobs. School is a way of life; work can be, but doesn’t have to be. And I am very fortunate (in the literal sense of “it is luck that brought me here”) to have a job where I spend the vast majority of my time a) on a computer and b) in self-directed, non-public-facing work. For most of my day, every day, I guide my own workflow, I choose what to work on and when. Of course I have deadlines, but within the strictures of those deadlines I am free to triage my time as appropriate, and because I’m on a computer with unrestricted internet access, I can take ten minutes to log onto tumblr, read some things, respond to some things, and then go back to my work.

So I am starting from an advantageous position: few personal commitments, unstructured time throughout the day, and a job where when I leave for the day, work stays at work.

So here’s what a normal day is like for me. Bear in mind this is for comparison purposes rather than because I think it’s particularly ideal.

I wake up around 4am; if I haven’t slept well or feel like I need it, I may go back to sleep for about an hour. Normally when I get up I either work out from 4-5 (weights, running) or I sit on the couch with my laptop and check out what’s been going on while I was asleep. We’ll circle back to this, but I go to bed quite early, so at this point I have generally had at least seven hours of sleep. Also, I am a morning person, so I go straight from zero to lucid, which is nice.

I answer email, check tumblr, check my RSS feeds (podcasts, news, fanfic, a couple of NSFW blogs that I can’t have on my tumblr feed because I read it at work). I look at my calendar so that I know what’s on offer for the day – my calendar doesn’t cover work stuff, but primarily anything I want to or need to do after work. My family has a mutual Google Calendar that we all use to schedule stuff the others should see, like whenever I take a vacation, and my parents also use it as their central calendar, so I can see what they’ll be up to on any given day. I’ve been thinking of switching over to a private Google Calendar, but out of habit for years I’ve used a custom-built spreadsheet, now in Google Sheets, that looks like a calendar:

That’s July. This kind of layout works well for me because it’s easy to go in and change things, and I get a good “high level” view of the month. As you can see I’m traveling quite a bit; I’m tracking new TV shows, peoples’ birthdays, events I may attend (I will probably not be at everything happening in evenings on the week of the 10th), baseball games I have tickets for, and possible plans for camping. Google Calendar would work as well and would have some significant advantages, I just haven’t got off my ass to switch over.

Around five, I usually get up and fix breakfast; often I’ll put on something to listen to while I cook and/or eat. If I’ve been working out, all the stuff I did – checking email, tumblr, etc – is pushed forward, and I do a bit less of it. But essentially from 4-6 I’m working out, eating breakfast, and getting a start on the personal-life aspect of my day. In terms of social media, this is the time I’m most likely to like something or save it to drafts to deal with later; I don’t spend brainpower on responding this early in the morning, usually.

I have some fairly…prescriptive routines for the rest of the day, and that works for me, I like structure. Other people may find this sort of thing doesn’t work for them, and that’s okay. This is, again, for comparison purposes, not to dictate how your life should be.

At six o’clock my alarm goes off, warning me that I have nine minutes before I need to stop what I’m doing and start getting ready for work. This is by design, so that I have a buffer zone in which to shift my mental attitudes from morning routine to something more focused. I hit snooze on the alarm and then at 6:09 I turn the alarm off and get in the shower. I shower, brush my teeth, and get dressed in clothes I laid out over a rail the night before (I have an electric heated towel rail, one of the best random-ass things my mother ever gave me, and in winter I turn the heat on so I come out of the shower and into warm undies; in summer it’s just a convenient place to hang clothes). I dress, grab my bag, take my keys off the doorknob and put them in a pocket of the bag, and I’m out the door around 6:25. I catch the 6:40 express bus to work. I usually read on my tablet on the bus (currently reading The Last Runaway by Tracy Chevalier after remembering how much I loved her prose in Girl With A Pearl Earring) and I get to work around 7.

At work I have routines too: I set down my bag, hang up my jacket, and before I do anything else I get my 32oz mug and go to the kitchen to get ice water to sip on throughout the morning. I come back to my desk, turn on my monitors, and log into my computer.

I check my work email first, to make sure nothing is on fire from yesterday, since I leave work quite a bit earlier than most of my colleagues. If nothing is urgent I delete anything irrelevant to me, respond to anything that needs immediate response, and move on to a quick glance at email and tumblr, then I open my “daily bookmarks” folder. My daily bookmarks folder is mostly stuff that either I can’t or don’t want to put in my RSS reader: a couple of messageboards, a few real estate sites I’m watching for my dream home to show up, a couple of tumblr tags (I don’t follow tags on tumblr because I don’t like seeing shit recur constantly on my dash), and some activism facebook pages because I despise facebook but it’s the only site some of these organizations use. If it’s Monday, I also open my Monday bookmark folder, which is a combination of sites that rarely update and “event” sites (the cinema I’m a member of so I can see what new movies are coming, the calendar of a local band I like, the events page of various cultural centers). I review these quickly, closing most tabs and setting aside anything I need to look at more indepth like an event I’d like to attend. Usually basically I fuck around on the internet until about 8, unless work has something urgent for me.

The one scheduled task I have daily at work is news clipping, where I read several news sites and save off articles of interest to our staff, which need to be turned in by mid-morning. Realistically this could take 15 minutes of focused work, but I like to read the news, too, so from eight to eight forty-five or nine, I’m usually reading a very specifically aimed sort of news, saving off articles, and archiving them appropriately.

After that, the day is, in many ways, mine to do with as I please.

I organize my life by using Google Tasks, which is a little pop-up to-do list in gmail. I have a to-do list for every day, and anything that doesn’t get done one day gets moved to another day, depending on how urgent it is. So at nine or so, I open Google Tasks and start moving each task around based on how urgent it is or how quickly I can do it. Urgent work and fast tasks go at the top; less urgent work, stuff I’m less enthused about, and stuff I can’t do at my desk (buying a card for Father’s Day, picking up groceries after work, etc) goes at the bottom. Some tasks are recurring – every Monday, for example, Radio Free Monday is at the top of the list because it’s time-sensitive.

You can see RFM there at the top; I have to email some information about a 5K to a friend, but I need to get his email from another friend first; I have some registration and hotel issues to attend to for an upcoming conference; I have to write up some evaluations, and do some reading for a presentation I’m giving. I should stop by my PO Box after work. Other stuff will no doubt be added when I check my work email (documents to be prepared, research requests) but this is where I start the day. You can also see I have stuff with pushed out deadlines – Credit Cards is a monthly reconciliation for my corporate card, which I will do ON the 26th rather than BEFORE it, and quarterly I check my 401K, so I won’t need to do that until August 7th.

“PRESENTATION: Reading” will probably get pushed to another day, because by the time I get down that far on the list, I won’t have a ton of brainpower left to do a lot of reading and analysis. It’s ok, my presentation’s not due until the 30th.

And then I just work through my to-do list. Some days I’m really good at getting it done. Some (rare) days I spend most of my time reading tumblr and fucking around because I’m not having a good focus day. But again: this is a job in which I have the luxury to do that, and I’m very lucky.

Rather than take a traditional lunch, I usually eat two small meals, at 11am and 2pm. Usually I bring most of my lunch for the week on Monday and just reheat tupperwares as I go, augmenting them with cheese and crackers; sometimes I’ll throw in a protein bar from a stash I keep in a little box on my desk. Most of my lunches are cooked on the weekends, when my time is a lot less structured. You’ve probably seen my COOKING DAY posts; sometimes I just set aside a day to cook and rest.

I’m gonna tackle fandom and social media here because truthfully my job has enough spare time built into it that this is when I do the majority of my fannish activity, at work, in small chunks. And yes I am very active in fandom but occasionally in very limited ways.

I don’t read a ton of fannish blogs. I have a limit on my tumblr of following 99 people, and I choose those people very carefully. Some are friends, but those who aren’t personally known to me are people who post both low-volume and things that are of interest to me. I do not follow people who flood dashes not because I disapprove but because I don’t have time to wade through ten million gifsets of things that I’m not concerned with. I also follow a few artist or writers, but again, only if they’re of relevance to me. I follow Skottie Young because I really like his art and think he’s a cool dude, and most of what he posts is his art. I don’t follow Matt Fraction because while I think he is also a cool dude and I enjoy his writing, his tumblr wasn’t generally speaking about his writing or him, it was aesthetic stuff I didn’t care for and it was A LOT OF IT.

I don’t read a ton of fanfic. I have a couple of tags fed to my RSS reader and I subscribe to a couple of fics and fic writers, but even then I skim for interesting summaries and tag combinations I don’t find offputting. I don’t read fanfic at work, full stop; when I find one I want to read, I set it aside for a time when I’m at home and feel like reading fanfic.

Throughout the day I will check in on tumblr, in a very systematic manner: I read my dash, only the posts, and like or queue anything I want to reblog or examine later. I read my inbox and try to respond, but some asks don’t get answers for a really long time, because they require more focus or time or whatnot. I read my Activity page and open any reblogs with commentary; I set comments aside to be responded to en mass. I check my likes and try to clean out anything I’ve liked that could go in drafts or queue; I check my drafts and try to move just one draft into my queue (I constantly have a draft backlog). This all takes about ten minutes, then I go back to work.

I get AO3 comment notifications throughout the week, but generally I set aside a block of time either on Friday (if work is slow) or on Sunday to “clear out” my comments; every week I go through my comments, re-read each one, and either delete it or respond to it and then delete it. I don’t reply to a vast majority of them simply because I don’t have the time to respond to each one (I have tried, it was very stressful) and also because most of them don’t really a require a response. For everyone’s patience in this, I thank you.

So work is a long series of multitasking, breaks, deadline work, procrastination. It’s about average, I’d say, with anyone else in my situation. If I’m doing something after work, I check to make sure I know how to get there and what’s going on; if I don’t have all the info I need, I prepare a “brief” that has maps and directions and anything else I need, print that out, and toss it in my messenger bag. And then around 3:45 I pack up my bag, make sure I have my phone, and I head out to either (usually) catch the 4pm express bus home, or catch transit of my choice to whatever I’m doing after work.

If I don’t have something I’m doing after work, I come home, take my keys out of the bag pocket, hang them up on the doorknob once I’m inside, and set my bag down. I’m very specific about my keys here, as I was up above, as a way of demonstrating that I live a very habitual life. Stuff like keys, phone, wallet always has a specific place it goes, and it stays there if I’m not using it. I used to lose shit a lot, and rigidly adhering to “if this is not in your hand, it should be in X pocket” is what saves me.

I change into more comfortable clothes, usually yoga pants and a t-shirt. I make something for dinner and eat it, I unpack anything that needs to come out of my bag and pack anything that needs to go into it, and then usually these days I fuck around on the ukulele for a while. I don’t set a time limit on it, so sometimes I do it for half an hour, sometimes for ninety minutes. It’s a way of unwinding and finding stress relief, so it’s entirely voluntary and anything I do during this time is being done because I want to do it. I think it’s the only thing in my life where there are no external pressures anywhere and I have set no goals for myself.

I don’t think external pressures and goals are inherently bad. The goals I set for myself in my other hobbies, like writing and running, being in fandom, going to movies and such, are good goals and they help me do well. External pressure is something that exists in every human interaction; that’s just the nature of being a person in society, and likewise isn’t a terrible thing. And not everyone needs a release from those things, or finds that release in the same way. I like a lot of my life; I wouldn’t do things if I didn’t like them. But I have found that it helps to have one thing which only belongs to you and which has no goals or benchmarks. For me that’s currently the ukulele.

In the later evening – and let’s be clear, I get home at like 4:30 so “later” to me is 6ish – I’ll hop back on tumblr, maybe do a little writing, or attend or host a stream. I’ll chatter with people, respond to emails and posts, read things I had set aside for reading earlier in the day; it’s probably my most socially active time.

When I was in my twenties I did perfectly fine on five hours of sleep a night, but as I got older that stopped being comfortable, and also I started realizing that after a certain point in the day, I not only wasn’t doing anything useful or interesting, I wasn’t having a good time. I was being awake for the sake of not going to bed. So I adjusted my life to going to bed at nine, and when I started getting up earlier to run, I adjusted again. In order to do that, I created an evening routine, because going to bed is easier if you start out by doing other shit BEFORE going to bed.

Now, generally, I log off between 7 and 7:30. Sometimes I go to bed that early, but that’s when I close down social interaction. Not necessarily turning off the computer, but just gently shutting down on being “around” other people. I log off chats, I stop responding to emails and tumblr posts. I set them aside for the morning. I might continue to read my dash or listen to podcasts or whatnot until eight or so.

I change into pyjamas, wash my face, brush my teeth, lay out my clothes for tomorrow, and get into bed, usually with my tablet to do a little reading. It’s a very rare evening I go to bed any time past 8:30. And that’s my day.

I have actually some reasoning about why I go to bed so early, but I think it’s the most important part of a post that is REALLY LONG and otherwise devoted to the boring details of my day, so I’m going to make it a separate post.

I hope this has helped, Anon! As you can see, what helps me organize and sort out all my time commitments is schedules, lists, and an adherence to several fairly rigid habits – this may not work for you, and I don’t recommend it for everyone. But for me, it’s really the only way I can stay on top of everything, especially in cases where I’m dealing with some particularly intense depression. I’m happy to answer questions, though if people have commentary about the post they should remember to reblog or comment, since I don’t repost asks sent to me about other asks.

#Anonymous

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wen-junehui · 8 years ago

Text

sunday morning, rain is falling

Genre: Fluff/Romance

Word Count: 1533

Characters: Wen Junhui/Original Female Character

(a/n): Because I love lazy Sunday mornings, rainy days, and old school Maroon 5. ♡

Rain droplets fell onto the glass window and filled the quiet room with a gentle pitter patter. Rays of sunlight usually pierced through her eyelids, forcing her to wake up. But on this dreary Sunday morning, grey clouds blanketed the sky and greeted the city with a morning mist.

A soft, acoustic melody wafted through the still air indicating that it was time to take on a new day. Her eyelashes fluttered like fairy wings as she recognized the familiar tune. Her hand emerged from under the covers and repeatedly patted the top of a small wooden night stand, trying to grab her phone with what little consciousness she had. Once she felt the familiar studs and music note charms of her phone case, she pressed the home button and forcefully jabbed the screen. A peaceful silence filled the room once more and her arm retreated back into the sky blue blankets. After several minutes, she eventually opened her eyes to see tiny beads of water racing down the glass. No hints of sunlight were present this morning, but the sound of cars driving down the puddle-filled streets indicated that the city was alive and running.

She flipped her body around to face her boyfriend, still sound asleep. His chest rose and fell syncing with his steady breaths, like a metronome keeping time with a piano. His jet black hair spread across the lavender pillow in a ruffled mess with his bangs touching the tips of his delicate eyelashes. His lips were slightly parted as if they were waiting to be kissed.

She reached for his bangs and gently tucked them away from his face with the lightest touch, letting her fingers linger on his silky, ebony locks. She loved it when she was the first one to wake up. It was nice to see him rest so peacefully considering his inhuman work schedule, which consisted of practice until 4am half the time.

She quietly shifted her body closer until she could feel his breath tickle her cheek. She smiled tenderly as she placed a light, feathery kiss on the beauty mark just above his lips. She then closed her eyes as she attempted to fall back asleep.

He felt her soft lips on his and wondered if he was dreaming. He usually had very vivid dreams that made him feel disoriented when he woke up and realized it was just a movie playing in his mind. But this time, the kiss felt a little too tangible for it to be an illusion. He started to drift away from his imagination and gradually opened his eyes to see his girlfriend serenely asleep next to him. Usually when he woke up first, she either faced the window, the ceiling, or anywhere except towards him. He examined her face and noticed how her muscles weren't completely relaxed. Her eyebrows betraying her as they slightly scrunched together in the middle of her forehead.

Was she pretending to be asleep? he thought. With sparks flying in his heart at her cute gesture, he decided to play along and gently kissed her lips before closing his eyes feigning slumber.

Just when she was about to travel back into dreamland, she felt the slight pressure of his plump lips against hers and parted her eyes to see him “sleeping”. If he thought this was a game that they were going to play until noon, he was surely mistaken. She gently grabbed the tip of his nose with her thumb and index finger. She waited until the dark chocolate pools in his eyes finally met her gaze. “Good morning, pig.” she quietly mumbled.

He took her hand away from his nose to latch an arm around her waist. He pulled her in, pressing her small body against his. He adjusted his body position so that their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. Her burgundy oversized shirt rose up to her waist exposing a patch of soft skin, an invitation for his cool hand to rest against the warm skin on the small of her back.

“Cute. If this is how you’ll wake me up from now on, I’ll never get out of bed before you ever again.” his smoky, husky morning voice rumbled in her ears while his warm breath ghosted against her neck.

The familiar kaleidoscope of butterflies frantically buzzed inside her stomach prompting her to encircle her arms around his waist, wanting to get closer and close the gap between them. She nestled her head in the crook of his neck, the familiar smell of citrus and cotton enveloping her like a bright summer’s day. “How do you know I’ll be this cute all the time? What if tomorrow I bang a pot right in your eardrums?” she softly muttered against his neck, his Adam’s apple pressing against her nose.

“Because I know you hate loud noises in the morning. And you’re always cute so that’ll never happen.”

“Shut up, Jun.” she slapped his back, pink roses blooming on her cheeks at his reply.

They laid there for a while with their arms tangled around each other, encompassed in the rolling precipitation against the windowpane, feeling each other’s heartbeat. “What do you want to do today? It’s my first day off since we finished our promotions.” he asked breaking the silence.

“Mm, I’m fine with going anywhere. I just want to find a big puddle so I can kick water in your face.”

Jun smirked at her answer. “Angel, if you wanted to get wet today we don’t even need to get out of bed to do that.” his hand delicately traced down the curvy planes of her body and halted on her hip. He laced one of his long fingers under the hem of her dark purple, polar bear printed shorts.

The room immediately became ten times hotter from his not-so subtle flirting, her face and body burning like lava running down a volcano. His touch against her bare skin was enough for waves of electricity to course throughout every nerve in her body. His playful remarks never failed to catch her off guard regardless of how prepared she was to hear them. It made her feel like they were in a game of chess, both of them trying to find the perfect line to checkmate the other. However, it was too early for her mind to process any clever comebacks. All she wanted was to lay in bed all morning accompanied with cute cuddles. As much as she wouldn’t mind a steamy morning spent under the sheets, especially since they barely had time alone for the past few months, she wasn’t going to let him win this time.

With all these conflicting thoughts racing a hundred miles per second in her mind, she prepped for her counterattack by placing her hands on Jun’s chest and with all the strength she could muster from her small body, she suddenly pushed him off the bed. His body made a loud thud when he crashed on the floor and slightly shook the room like a subtle earthquake.

It took a moment for Jun to realize what just happened. In a slight daze, he slowly got up and sat on the floor. He shook out his hair and combed through his bangs before turning his head back to the bed, where she wrapped herself under the covers like a cute little breakfast burrito. Her head was the only part of her body that was left exposed. Her eyes curled into crescents and her dimples created tiny craters on her cheeks.

“I never said anything about me getting wet. But joke’s on you because now I have all the blankets to myself.” she smirked proudly, feeling like she one-upped him in his own game. She wriggled beneath the covers to make herself more comfortable and closed her eyes in content.

Jun simply stared at her in amusement, impressed by her sudden attack. Just when he thought he won, she never failed to come up from behind and surprise him. But he wasn’t going to let the mouse trump the cat. He stood up and waited a few seconds before hopping back onto the bed. He pulled the covers and lied down next to her once again, wrapping his gangly arms and legs around her body and hugged her tight. She tried to squirm her way out of his grasp but with fleeting energy she couldn’t escape. She eventually gave up and nestled her head against his chest hugging his waist, her cheeks sinking into the cloudlike cotton of his navy sweater.

“I hate you, you know that? So much that now I want to find a puddle of mud to throw on your face instead.” she mumbled lazily, already knowing that they weren’t going to get out of bed for the next hour.

Jun smirked and chuckled against her hair, his fingers absentmindedly drawing circles on her back. He lovingly placed a kiss on the top of her head, not wanting this moment to end. “Don’t worry, angel. We still have the whole day to play in the rain. But for the rest of the morning, let's never leave this bed.”

#seventeen #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen scenarios #jun #junhui #jun fanfiction #jun scenarios #jun fanfic #seventeen fanfic #kpop #kpop fanfiction #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfic #wen junhui #moon junhui #seventeen request #seventeen fic #jun request #junhui request

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journalofacreep-blog · 7 years ago

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“I’m what you call a creep but don’t start to run away already”

I’ve been looking at his snapchat story and here I am being jealous like an idiot. I know there’s no reason for that and nothing can justify my childish behaviour, but I can’t keep it in. I choke my inner voice not to let others see the gasps that resonate in me. I love him and it’s not like it’s requited. We only met once, and the conditions were quite bad to be completely honest. Since then, I’ve been trying to go over it but people like me don’t have it all that easy. People like me. Creeps. Or what other people call creep. Those who are not your basic commoner and whose difference triggers hatred, because let’s face it, none of that is about fear. Rejection is about laziness and tightness of mind. I’ve never been a snapchat user and when I met him on that dating app, I just thought “Why not? Try it. Mimic people your age, nothing that bad can actually happen”. Sometimes, I should let my inner voice talk more and listen carefully to what it says. To be entirely fair, I knew what was gonna happen, but I just dodged reality like you dodge a lost ball. Badly. You pretend it didn’t touch you, but you can feel that your skin already started bruising the second you took the hit.

I love him and people like me mean it when they say it. When they realise it. It starts growing slowly in you and never really stops. Unless you get interested in someone else, as terrible as it sounds. Everything is so quick yet so strong, so intense. Nothing becomes everything and before you open your eyes to stare at the atrocious reality, you’re already lost in it. Feet stuck in the ground, marshes pulling you further in the absurdity of your feelings.

Maybe he didn’t help. Maybe he pushed me in that situation as well as he wanted to get something in return. But the only one that is now obsessed is me and only me. People like me, those creeping out about their own destructive feelings, you medically call them borderline, coming from borderline personality disorder. That’s not the only characteristic about it that makes social interaction a real pain in the neck, but it’s surely the one that is the most complex to control and causes so much pain on the way. Falling madly in love because of details, because of a gaze, because of a word. It’s so easy yet so difficult to not fall in the trap that your own mind creates. You’re the prisoner of something too big to carry on your back, so you just let yourself get swallowed and try not to smother in your uncertainty and fear.

And whatever you do, every time you know you will fall back into the same pattern, because the only way to get out of it is to jump in another one holding your breath, hoping for the best.

So yeah, I was talking about that guy I met online maybe 3 months ago. I normally don’t feel attracted to guys. To tall guys, pale and with such square jaws. But I suppose type changes with time, or it’s just maybe not a thing after all. If you want the honest truth, I just feel like I grew to like his appearance. Snapchat is that kind of social media: you send pictures, you receive pictures, you show pretty much all of the uninteresting things about yourself and wait for someone to comment on it. I always thought it was so narcissistic to be using it, and look at what I became, posting stuff as well to try and reach him when his ignorance turns too strong and painful.

I can’t remember when he started ignoring me. Maybe after the day we met, or should I say the night we met. Went to his house because mine is a fucking joke. The heater exploded, kind of, and water flooded everywhere. Except the day after, I had to go to work after uni and raging so badly, completely powerless, I posted something on my story. Of course, the knight on his magnificent white horse came to me with a solution and here was the plan: at 8 in the morning, I was supposed to join him for breakfast, take a shower and take him to uni as he more or less dropped out. I was supposedly his ‘’motivation’’ to go. At that time, we were still sending messages day and night. Before he got bored of me. Or I assume he did.

Upset as I was, I couldn’t sleep. A little detail could keep me awake for hours sometimes and this night, the anger about the whole leek thing and the excitement of meeting that boy prevented me from finding sleep. What if I didn’t wake up in the morning, and missed him? To be honest, the whole thing was more about meeting him than the actual shower I had to take. And at 4am, we were still talking. Still. Always talking late as he can’t sleep. He’s got his own issues and has nightmares often. From what he told me. I remember the few texts we exchanged at that point. He must have forgotten, his short-term memory is quite bad, or maybe that’s just what he likes me to think.

“Not sure I’m gonna be able to wake up at 8 tomorrow. You should just come now”

“You’re really tempting me”

“Come over”

And I just went. I didn’t fight. Didn’t think about what it meant. What it could mean for him. What it would mean for me.

I can remember meeting him really clearly. He just hugged me with the door of his flat still open. Cute. I thought he was extremely cute. I like cuddly people. He likes to be cuddled as well, he likes when you touch his hair, that’s what he told me a few times, comparing himself to a cat. I must admit, his hair was soft, nice to touch, nice to play with. Just a little bit longer than the average guy. He had to cut it later on because of his mom, apparently she likes it better short. I remember every ‘’Sorry’’ he said when he touched me, slightly brushed my skin or when he kept me close to him. His thin arms were so strong, I felt protected. For the first time in my life, I felt protected by someone else even though he was an absolute stranger. I just felt good, warm and incredibly relaxed. I was surely nervous, surely stiff but all I could think about was my heart pounding in my chest, ready to explode, and his hands shaking on me.

Soon, he tried kissing my neck. And oh god, it was good. He knew that it was my most sensitive area, the one way too sensible for someone I don’t know to be touching that quickly. I let him do a few more times, until my breath went wilder, and my voice twisted, getting lost in the room. I forgot about his flatmates. I forgot about everything and he will never know what kind of effect he had on me at that time because I can’t let myself tell him. The room is dark in my memory, but his window lets some light come in, which allows me to see briefly his face. He’s aroused. He’s turned on. I turn him on. The idea of it makes my heart flutter and my confidence rises a little bit. Now that I think about it, it could’ve been another girl and it would’ve been the same. I just feel like he wanted sex. Doesn’t matter with who, or how. He just wanted it as a physical need. And maybe I needed it as well. But I didn’t surrender. “Your moans are so cute”

I’m a virgin. I did some stuff with my ex-girlfriend but that’s not what you call “having sex”. I didn’t want to jump that big of a step on the first night meeting him. I just didn’t want to give away that kind of gift to someone who didn’t know, didn’t consider this as much as me, and surely didn’t want the same thing as me. I was right. But I need to confess that I wanted it. I regret. I regret not giving it to him and I hate myself not to have tried it. I wanted him. I wanted him to go further, to find me attractive and cute. To find some beauty in me, a “me” that I hate so much for so many reasons. I got scared, I acted reasonable as every other time in my life, I backed off. And maybe it was the right thing to do, maybe I would’ve regretted it even more if I had let myself get taken away that night. But maybe I wouldn’t have. Maybe things would not have turned that way and we would be closer, seeing each other more often, spending time together. Now that I re-read my whole big essay on “How to be an idiot and a creep and such a coward”, I’m ashamed to find that I’m still so fond of him after so many weeks. One month after meeting him, I got rejected without even saying anything.

“You’re a very good friend to me. It was clear to me that I didn’t want anything romantic with you from the day we met. That’s why I didn’t try to see you again. I’m too unstable.”

It hit me so hard. I thought there was hope. I thought he was busy and didn’t have time to meet up. I didn’t want to be a bother. I didn’t want to annoy anyone. Being my unlovable casual self, I fucked everything up. I talked about it with my two best friends, and they told me he was the one in the wrong. He should’ve said it sooner. But according to them, he was just continually testing the water to see If I could drown in it. Maybe I could come back to his bed, give what he wanted.

As retarded as it appears, I apologized that night.

“Sorry not to be able to give you the kind of fun you want”

I felt like I was the one not compatible, the one doing the bad thing again. He said that I didn’t have to say sorry, but still today, I feel like the broken piece in the machinery. What if? What if I went back to him that night. But I didn’t. And since then, I can’t get him out of my head. Even more than before. I dated another guy for a week and about after that, tried to get over him, but horrifyingly, I was constantly thinking about him while seeing the other one. It was just awkward, and that uneasiness was way too much. We didn’t get that between him and me and the familiar feeling was lacking. I wanted him back. If I knew, I would’ve spent this night differently. I would’ve cuddled more, certainly kissed and talked less. Words are so insignificant when it comes to reality. Talk is so overrated.

I’m not cute. I’m not fit. I’m not particularly intelligent and I talk loudly and appear rude to most people. My anxiety around others leads me to do those things I don’t want to do. It’s just panic, then act and then regret. I feel that void in me and would like someone to fill it with whatever they want, except pain. I’ve got enough of pain. Someone told me to fill it myself but it’s never the same feeling. I felt complete that morning, when he buried his head against my tummy, his head on my lap with his hair tickling my skin, breathing in the perfume exuding from my jersey. I brushed his bangs and I can remember those two eyes. He flipped over and took me back with him on the mattress. This time, it was my head buried against his neck and I didn’t recognize my voice when I talked. Damn, I felt like an idiot. I was scared. I was full of hope. I just wanted him not to regret meeting me after seeing my nasty self in full daylight.

“You’re not disappointed?”

“Of what?”

“Me. Disappointed in me. “

“No, why would I?”

“Most of the people are after they meet me”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure the whole city is..”

His wit made me fall. His way of making me feel relieved, making me feel good about myself, better. It was just something about him that saved me at that time when I was starting to fall back into the darkness. Though it lost me again when everything happened after that. I will never forget it. That night during when I did the craziest thing of my whole existence. And I’m scared to write those last words as I reach the flat bottom of my thoughts about you. I’m scared because I will have to stop looking for you in the library when I go through the group study, even though it stresses me out so much to look at people in the eyes, because I will have to stop answering your messages at one point, stop sending you messages, stop posting stories hoping you will see them, hoping you will think about me even for one second. I’m scared to be alone again, and I’m scared to lose those laughs you create when I read your silly messages or open your stupid snaps about your daily life that doesn’t include me. Yeah, I longed to be part of your life and you being part of mine. I wanted, and always tried, to make you feel better when you felt shit. And I’m happy you’re going back to uni correctly. More or less, I don’t even know. I’m happy you don’t drink as much as before and you seem to be more serious about everything. I’m happy you’re happy but I’m broken again and I blame my disorder for getting attached so quickly, to be so intoxicated with you but I just dodge the problem once and again. I tried to escape so many times I’m bruised all over and it hurts like hell. I gulped my feeling and swallowed the pain during all that time, and I’m scared to press the ‘’block’’ button because it will only affect me I’m sure. Because you told me to do what’s best for me and what’s gonna make me happy, because you certainly don’t care about me being there or not, as I’m not even really there. But I’m scared and I’m sad, and I feel like crying in front of my computer, typing those words that you will never read. Cause if you did, you would certainly call me ‘’creep’’.

#borderline borderlinepersonalitydisorder disorders journalofacreep

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to-mengying · 8 years ago

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1 June 2017 | Thursday Touched down in Singapore at 2.05pm yesterday. That ended my 2 weeks (14-30 May) long grad trip in Europe. Was it a long trip? I suppose so, because I felt terrily empty when I reached home. It was a good thing my mum took leave to fetch me, because I would feel even emptier if I arrived to an empty home. Anyway, this hollowness that has grown within me since March started swelling again. Perhaps because of my looming fate and the anxiety of finding not only a job, but one that pays and I can bare. Not easy, especially with my resume. I guess the grad trip hasn't changed me at all, only gave me space to breathe and push my troubles to the side. So yesterday night, once again, I find myself crying to sleep. I was sad, alone, scared and empty. Being alone does this to you. It makes you think about all your insecurities and turn you into a huge, ugly monster which you're not. You're not. For the past two weeks, I've been sleeping beside RJ. It felt good. I loved sharing a bed with someone, with him. Although he always slept later than me because he was using his phone (while I waited for him to sleep so that we can cuddle but gave in to sleep eventually), he would hug me and kiss me before he slept. That woke me up, and well, a sleepy me is not a happy me. I would be angry and grumble and push him away. But now, I miss this. I miss those moments, no matter how annoying they are to me. Its funny, because he's in sg, with me, and yet I feel so far away from him. Am I too attached? Of course, I missed my own bed. But at the same time, it felt different waking up to an empty house. Without my friends in the living room eating breakfast, or in th ekitchen washing up. It felt different waking up alone with no warm body to cuddle and kiss. It felt, different. I feel all alone. All alone in facing this world. All alone in fighting my battles. I feel like I can't do it. The trip itself was not without ups and downs. We went to Paris, Salzburg, Hallstatt, Pula, Venice, and Nice. I expected the Woody Allen vibe in Paris, but was greeted with disappointment. People smoke too much, really too much. The Eiffel tower did not elicit the kind of feeling I was hoping to have. I did not feel any swell of romantic yearnings. Nothing. It was just there. This manmade tower. Of course, the streets are interesting for me. As my first time stepping foot in Europe, I was surprised to see restaurant seats facing the streets, and pets being allowed to most establishments. It was eye opening. My favourite place was Obertraun, the location of our accomodation, which was opposite Hallstatt. It was a small, quaint town with green grass, colorful flowers, quaint Austrain houses couples with snowy mountains and blue skies. The perfect Windows wallpaper. I could not believe such a place really existed. Like people live in these places?! I loved it so much. Although bk told me that those flowers are mostly weeds, I loved them. It was quiet, healing, and just plain beautiful. I'm not sure how else I can stress it. We also saw horses, sheeps, chickens, ducks, swans, and cats around. It was the first time I got so close to a swan, and I swear, they are scary. They look graceful, yes, but the sound they make? Not pleasant. Anyway, I was sad to leave. We went back to Salzburg, which was one of the top four cities in Austria. Pretty, but not as pretty as Hallstatt, of course. It was also the city which we travelled to Werfen and climbed the mountain which I almost died from. Anyway, back at Salzburg, I split from the group for a few hours to go shopping at C&A for my sister. We walked to Mozart's square after that to sit for a while, before realizing that everywhere else is closed at 6. The sky still bright, we slowly made our way along the riverbanks. It was tiring, hot and we fought along the way because of toilets?, but looking back, it was relaxing to just walk around aimlessly with him. So that day, we didn't book an accomodation but camped at the train and bus station till late to catch the 3am bus to Pula. Pula was, disappointing compared to Austria. We reached there around 12pm, close to 1. After having lunch, we walked around the city. Mainly the arena. And then there was nothing left to do. It was definitely a good idea suggested by rj beforehand to go Venice. So the next day, the four of us (rj, ys, joie and me), woke at 4am, took a bus to Rovinj, and from there, took the Venezialines ferry to Venice. The whole trip took us around 5 hours, but it was worth it because the ferry company was really nice and offered a free tour of St Marc's Square and even had good deals for the gondola and water taxi rides for us. We chose the water taxi ride, which cost around 28 euros. Venice was pretty, with little alleyways and canals cutting through everywhere. Too many tourists though. The guided tour was also very informative, because otherwise we wouldn't know anything about the history and would've just blindly taken photos. It was the city where lions fly and pidgeons walked. Sadly, we had to leave at 5pm. So at around 4.15pm, we met the tour groups to take the water taxi back to where the ferry was parked. Fortunately, we managed to sit right at the back, where we could take really nice photos. Back from Venice, the next day was spent in Pula again, where we walked around old town and went to the beach. What surprised me was that European beaches were made of stones instead of sand. I saw this in Nice too. Our last destination also had the most wonderful accomodation. We were greeted to a big house with every kind of furniture and utensils possible. The owner gave us a free bottle of rose wine and a tub of Vanilla ice cream. Nice was near Monaco, but we did not visit it during our trip. Nice was very relaxing, and in my opinion, better than Paris. The first day was spent exploring the city, its cathedrals, old town, and the fortress. The second day, we went further to see an archeological museum and a cathedral in the park. While the cathedral was okay, the small garden beside it amazed me. It was home to many roses and other flowers. I've never seen roses grown from the soil before, so it was something new for me. I picked up some fallen petals to bring home as a souvenir. While Nice was also tourist oriented, the beach made up for almost everything. On the second day, which was also a Sunday, we finished exploring and made it back to the city center in noon. There wasn't any restaurants open, so we made do with KFC. In the afternoon, bk, fiona, rj and me decided to chill at the beach while joie and ys went to Longchamp. It was something I want to do, because firstly I really love beaches, and secondly, Nice is known for their beach, so why not chill there and experience the seaside life? The stones were hard to walk on barefooted though. The water was cold at first, but we slowly adjusted to the temperatures. But we mostly spent our time on the shore, suntanning. It was my first time suntanning as well (because who does that in Sentosa?), and I felt really relaxed and comfortable in my own body. It was nice having him beside me too. We stayed for 2 hours or so, before going back to cook carbonara. A huge part of the trip was memorable to me because he was there. He was there to carry my luggage up the stairs, push them for me when my handle broke, carried water when I was too lazy to do so, carried my bag when I was dying climbing up the mountain, made me laugh when I was upset, shared food with me, and so so so much more. I cannot imagine how this trip will be if he wasn't there for me. I love him, so so much. I wish he knows. Thinking about him now makes me sad again, because I'm here, on my bed alone, typing this, when just the day before, he would be beside me in bed, kissing me good night. I miss that. I miss Europe, I miss travelling, I miss my friends, and I miss him. I hope my life here in Singapore will turn out fine. I really really hope I can find a job soon. And I hope I will be braver.

#personal #mengying #m.y.#diary

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