#that's how it is. either i want folks to pay to look at me bc i'm a god or i want people to pay to look at me bc it's a fineable offense.
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ok so i've been trying to come up with a mafia trope for this ask by the bestie @bimbofawn: now this isn't a full-blown mob fic, but it has a few elements
The Camerons have all the wealth, influence and success anyone can dream of. They come from a long lineage of fame and riches, now running the parent company of many subsidiaries with power all across the country. It's no surprise they're involved in a few shady businesses, yet it's all kept tightly under wraps.
As the heir to a vast dynasty, Rafe grew up under a lot of pressure to be the best in what he does, and his ego is proof of that. He's in the tabloids, the ivy league graduate by day and the wild bachelor by night, landing himself in more scandals than ass-kissing articles.
The Camerons are known for their prestige and (heavily manufactured) picture-perfect image. So Rafe's sleazy, immature behaviour just won't do. Although he's doing good with the shady side of the family business (bc ofc he's into violence and drug trafficking/manufacturing), he needs to do better with the public side. To give his son a motive for cleaning up his act, he gives him an ultimatum: lose it all and get disowned or settle down.
Now, he has a few months to find someone, but his ego won't let him settle for just anyone. The headlines aren't any comfort either: Pleasure Over Business: Is Rafe Cameron responsible for the fall of the Cameron dynasty?
This is very off-to-the-races coded: you drift into his sector on his friend's arm one night. He shrugs you off, expecting there to be a different girl the next time they go to the clubs (because there always is) but nope, you show up again and again.
It’s hard for him to ignore someone so kindhearted and naturally alluring. He can’t look away from you sipping on the straw, your calm gaze locked on his, making him stumble over his words like a teenager with a crush. He dreams of you every time he falls asleep, your pretty face burned on the inside of his eyelids as if you belonged there.
But one night his friend shows up with a different girl.
"Her rates got too high, and my folks were getting suspicious so I had to let her go, unfortunately." He exhales, his arm around the other woman kissing up his neck.
Now, did he predict you were an escort? Not at all. It catches him off guard and he almost spits up his drink. "You paid her to date you?"
Topper glares, "you don't have to say it like that. We did more than just make appearances together if that's what you're asking. All consensual, of course, but you do have to pay extra for private um... sessions."
me senses... a sugar-baby proposition: "I'll take care of everything, all expenses, your rent, and an allowance on top of that. Anything you want you can have."
You're still apprehensive, you've taken clients who've heard of you from word of mouth before, but this was new. They were best friends who routinely saw each other, you'd hate to stir the pot. "Won't it be weird?"
"You with Top was just business and so is what I'm offering." Perhaps that was a little white lie, but you didn't need to know that. "No harm, no foul. In my hands, you could live better than this."
"I like my home." You mutter, hugging a pillow to your chest, it was one of the many mismatched cushions that littered your old couch. "I worked hard to get it this way."
He nudges the wobbly table by the door, the picture frames rattling on the surface. "For thousands of dollars a night, I would've expected some sense of luxury, or a stove with actual knobs." He says and quirks a brow, "where'd all that money go?"
"Oh... I had to give my boss his cut."
"How much is that?"
"80 percent." You admit, ducking away when Rafe frowns, "I know, I know... It wasn't my fault, my daddy—" Your voice cracks, "My daddy got involved with a bad man after he gambled away all our savings and my college fund. And he still couldn't stop after my mama left. I had to—I had to help somehow."
You still remember returning from campus to see him bruised and battered on the living room floor, crying for your mother who was halfway across the world, now a happily divorced woman. The memory brings tears to your eyes and they stream down your cheeks.
Rafe bites his tongue, rethinking his decision to show up here in the first place. Your unlucky life only made you more perfect, and as terrible as it sounded, he knows he won't find anyone more fitting for his circumstances.
He refused to leave until you agreed.
"What's his name?"
You don't hear him over your sniffles and rub your nose into your pillow, "huh?"
He crouches by your feet, placing a hand on your thigh. "What's the big bad man's name, sweetie?"
"Why—Why are you asking..."
The blue in his eyes seems darker, but it could just be the dim lightbulbs you haven’t changed yet. He blinks up at you with thick lashes, a slow smile crawling onto his face.
"I'm going to prove to you that when you're with me, you've got nothing to worry about."
And the next night, he shows up at your door with a fresh bouquet of flowers and bruised knuckles. You don’t get one word out before drops a heavy duffel bag on the floor, “here’s the money you deserve for your work, and extra for your troubles.”
You glance at the bag and then his face, your toothbrush hanging out of your mouth. “What—What did you do?”
He smiles, cocking his head to the side. “Nothing you have to worry about, sweetheart.” He says, wiping toothpaste from the corner of your lip. “Now, are you going to invite me in?”
Rafe is very possessive, he doesn’t care that you dated/slept with his friend because you belong to him now. He buys you a gold necklace with his initial on it, parades you around the city for all the nosy paps to see, and brings you home to meet his family. And yes, you do get the gold seal of approval from his father.
well this is just a mash-up of different tropes 🫡 fake relationship, sugar daddy and mob, with rafe's signature "you're mine" mindset. me has a few slutty and soft ideas for this au too hehe
#yuh#sonny drabbles#rafe cameron#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron au#mafia rafe cameron#mob rafe cameron#rafe cameron x fem!reader#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#tw mafia#Mafia!rafe cameron#drew starkey#drew starkey fanfiction#drew starkey x reader#sonny's stories#outer banks#outer banks fanfic#outer banks au#outer banks fanfiction
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i want to keep sharing art online but honestly i'm so fucking tired and done with all social media lately. instagram fucks with your reach so that no one sees your posts and lord help you if you stop posting regularly as in 3-5 times a week. oh and if you don't post reels then fuck you too. tumblr is good for sharing art if you're already a popular artist but people don't really reblog art unless it's either as mentioned before by a prominent artist or a very popular old post. i refuse to use twitter. and glazing or nightshading all my work is kind of tiring even if it is necessary but the process is kind of dumb (i gotta be honest sorry i know how important that group's work is but literally go look at their site and those poor folk are so overrun they're begging people to stop asking for glaze invites. and i tried downloading nightshade onto my laptop but it wouldn't run bc of some hardware specs so don't tell me to try downloading it bc i already did.)
deviant art is fully in bed with AI now and doubled their membership prices bc woweee it gives you access to an AI generator now and you get 500 whole prompts a month! ain't that the bee's knees!?
and everywhere in general is tightening the noose more and more on NSFW artists. within a span of two months i got email after email from certain sites that were suddenly updating their TOS or raising their subscription prices. mercari absolutely took a fat steaming shit on their seller base this year and only reverted some of their bs bc their revenue/stock fucking TANKED. peacock and clip studio and bigcartel and spotify and everyone's mom is raising their prices as if we're all fucking made of money. i had to put my online shop on pause and cancelled my existing plan because i can't afford to be paying so much each month across all these subscriptions. (the shop will still exist i'm just no longer able to keep more than 5 items in inventory and i can't do discount codes anymore.)
i'm not seeking advice or anything just venting. if this sounds bitter, take it at face value bc i am. and i do keep saying this and i'm sorry for sounding so angry and repeating myself but i'm so goddamned tired. it doesn't feel worth it to be an artist anymore.
#leigh speaks#i also know i don't need to be paying for some of these subscrips but i use Clip studio for comics and watch most if not all wwe content#on peacock while i'm working which is a great way to catch up/pass the time#i also usually only use free spotify now but got 3 months for ten dollars but will cancel that plan once it expires before i get charged lo
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Reasons Why The Day I Got Expelled from The Lightning Theif musical is an amazing song:
1.) "Well, they don't pay attention to you either...especially if you're their kid 😒😒" like, the shade lol
2.) "Yeah, the Gods are real, and they have kids, and those kids have ✨issues✨" BAHAHA
3.) "You never listen to me...but now you're gonna listen 'cause it's time you heard our side of the story😤😤" like, yes, it is time.
4.) "LOOK...i didn't want to be a half-blood" ahhhh it's directly quotes the book 😫😫😫
5.) "She threw a peanut butter sandwich at YOU. I stopped it with my head🤓" I love Grover so much
6.) "I knew something was up when I heard my name get yelled." "The day it all went down." "I saw something odd is Mrs. Dodd's frown." "The day it all got weird." I love how this section breaks away from the 'the day I got expelled' motif and in the most ominous way because this is the day the moment Percy's life changed forever and he almost died and he's twelve years old and how fucking scary would it be to see this happen?? I hope the TV adaptation does this scene justice.
7.) "It was only a matter of time before-" "I got kicked out?" "That's not what I was going to-" "You think I'm trouble just like everyone else?" This makes my heart ache bc all Percy wants is someone to believe in and be proud of him, and in the books, we see that he does try to be a good student, a good kid, for Mr. Brunner, but one slip-up (that wasn't his fault) and the teacher he looks up to is disappointed in him. poor percy 💔
8.) "...I'll see you on the bus.." the moment of silence after this line is unbelievable. letting the reality of life-threatening monsters and gaslighting hit because they clearly didn't want him to know about this (bc the more he knows, the more dangers he's in, but he doesn't know that). like, shit's immaculate.
9.) "So, if you think you are a half-blood, better get headed to the exits now, 'cause folks will think you're lying. Better run, and don't start crying 'cause you're monster chow." oh, he is bitter and he has every right to be.
10.) "Nobody listens to me! They never listen! They never listen to me! They never listen, oh!" honestly, this line was the reason this post exists because what an amazing call back to the beginning of this song AND to books. he's right. no one listens to him and no one listens to demigods. and this line is in a musical about a story where demigods finally tell their side of the story. this moment doesn't get talked about enough.
11.) "Dude, you got expelled (I didn't want to be a half-blood)! Expelled (I didn't ask to be a half-blood)! Expelled!" I love how as their talking over him, reminding him of all of his faults, he's just screaming that he didn't fucking want this. he didn't want to be a hero, or save the world, or fight in a war. he just wants to be alive and safe, as do all half-bloods.
This started out as me commenting on one line in a song, but I, honestly, might do commentary on every song in this musical because it is so good!
Tags:
#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#percy jackson#annabeth chase#grover underwood#chiron brunner#mrs.dodds#this is a pen.#the lightning theif#the lightning theif musical#tlt musical#tlt musical adaptation#tlt musical commentary#the day i got expelled
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heyheyhey!! someone wish me luck on getting the job I have an interview for tomorrow plsplspls
to convince you to wish me luck I have developed the pros and cons list of what will happen if I do get the job (I am also doing this for myself to really convince myself that I can DO THIS)
pros:
job = money
money = laptop after like two paychecks
laptop after two paychecks = more writing from yours truly (I am typing this while staring at my tv screen bc I use writing as a coping mechanism and located an HDMI cable which is also some of the reason requests have been on the slower end--I have to have my glasses on in order to see on such a big screen. I am typing this sentence while not wearing them to test how bad it is and i have to squint like I'm at the back of the room to see the screen less blurrily)
fixed term contract (seems like a con but stay with me) means I'll only be working like, 10-12 weeks which yeah not so great BUT I get experience and experience means more consistent 9-5 later on, plus if I save money while I work (aside from laptop that is a necessary purchase bc again, if I have to stare at my tv screen for another six months there will be tears and begging while I point desperately at my currently opened commissions) then I can have a bit of a backspace to fall on, yk?? like. if I ever decide I want something when I'm not working or if I need to buy more like?? bodywash?? idk, I don't have to crawl to my dad like "heyheyhey scary 5'8-ish adult man, I will do the dishes, clean the fridge AND the pantry for the low low price of $40 when you also happen to get paid"
will get me out of the house! I am stuck here all except for maybe once or twice in between the pay periods of my parents (they are my rides everywhere and they get paid biweekly so when they go for groceries I'm like HEY LET ME COME I WANNA EXPERIENCE EXTERNAL AIR PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEE) and getting to leave the house and work with the people I'll be working with will also significantly reduce my anxiety, which I have to talk to my dr about putting me on meds for bc it has become debilitating.
I ONLY WILL WORK LIKE, 3-4 DAYS A WEEK!! The shifts are SUPER LONG which yeah not great but its a 40 hour week and that money will be good money (which I will put into a savings account that will build interest!!)
MONEYMONEYMONEYHONEYYYYYYY!! It adds up pretty quickly and making a dollar and fifty cents above minimum wage will mean that I'll be getting close to a thousand dollars if they pay me biweekly and close to five hundred if they pay me every week. 500-1000 dollars is a lot of money for a new laptop but also,, also a lot of money for a gym membership plus treats of both the caffeine and the liquor store variety (I will be nineteen in three weeks and feel like weed will be a better experience than alc was. I had fun that night but if I ever cry over not having enough money to order pizza again pls just glare at me)
work experience!! This job is a fixed contract job (I am starting to sound like a broken record with this oops) so it'll be less than half a year but it STILL WORKS!! Plus it'll be a good lesson and help me decide whether or not I want to pursue a career in working in old folks homes and if I can handle doing so for twelve hour days for the rest of my life. It'll be a learning experience that I can add to my resume and help me decide which jobs I'll either look towards or away from once I start looking for a job after the contracts fixed term is completed.
cons bc I am in fact thinking of those
working 3-4 days a week is great, right?? right?? yeah that part is where the goodness of the work schedule will kind of stop off bc yeah, three days on four days off is amazing but I'll be working 7-7. I also unfortunately happen to know myself and I know myself well enough to know that having to go into work at seven in the morning will result in me waking up at half past five in the morning to get ready and drink either an energy drink or three cups of coffee. I also like staying up until midnight so I will be stubbornly running on five hours of sleep lol.
occasionally needing to work weekends isn't that bad but its just--I can be a morning person during the week with an energy drink or three cups of coffee and those things only. On the weekends I sleep in late and I make coffee anyway bc its my routine, but waking up at 5:30 for a weekend shift is going to have me hangry and exhausted by noon.
the only other con that I can think of for this is that the twelve hour shifts could send me into burn out very very quickly. On the one hand I keep telling myself "yeah you'll work 36 hours in three days BUT you'll also have four days to sleep the burn out off and engage in hobbies that make the burn out easier to handle" but on the other I just--I know myself well enough to know that two and a half months of burn out from working twelve hour shifts through to the end of march could have me fully burnt out until the middle of may. I just keep wondering if the fact that I'm gonna be making a dollar fifty above minimum wage for two and a half months is really worth the exhaustion both physically and mentally lol.
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I think that anon belied a common misconception among many well-meaning people, too, that is actually worth addressing, wrt my donation posts: I DONT usually get money from strangers, and I DONT put those posts up with any expectations at all! Sometimes they don't work! Sometimes we get nothing for weeks on end, or just $5 here and there, and we go a month without everything that we need, and we make do with what we can find anyway.
But the thing is, when I do put up a post and I ask for money, I'm NOT asking strangers. I have a TON of connections near & far that I talk to online. I'm putting out a call to all of my friends, giving them an update, and saying, "hey if any of you is better off right now, we could use a hand!" often my friends are no better off than me, and they can't help. that's fine! Its hard times for everyone! that's why I know they don't begrudge me for asking.
In fact, a lot of my friends send me money WITHOUT me asking!! one of my IRL friends has learned to recognize when I need more help and I'm playing it down. They gave me $60 just recently, after I waffled for hours about taking their money, and finally told them I could get by the rest of the week on $30-50. Another friend, someone I've known since we were toddlers, sent me $80 out of the blue several months ago just bc she missed us and was thinking of us, and she had a little extra. Last time we talked to her, I mentioned how our food stamps got cut, & we'd be out for another week. She venmo'd me $30 labeled "pizza tears" before we even got off the phone (which I think was hilarious fwiw). A different friend recently heard that Bel and I wanted to go on a date to taco bell, and when I said we could do it for under $20, she gave me $50 and said "make sure you get the cinnabons!!!" Another friend bought me winter boots and socks this year as soon as i said i didnt have any- THE best, warmest, cosiest socks I've ever owned. Last year, one (1) of my tumblr mutuals covered my ENTIRE cost of post-op care for top surgery. I said "I'll probably need $$$" and they covered all of it! That same person has bought me groceries, meds, and gas on many other occasions, too. All of these people are folks I've known for years either thru tumblr or IRL.
Very occasionally, it's a newer mutual or even a stranger. One time, when I was still on Twitter and very early in my transition, I said something about how gender affirming my old high school Chuck Taylor's were and how I missed them so. My mutual from another COUNTRY immediately sent me $60 for gender affirming Chuck Taylor's. I haven't spoken to that person since Twitter went south, sadly. If youre still out there, I named my shoes after you, Bergamot & Jones, and I think of you every time I step outside. Another time, a guy who wasn't even my mutual sent me a bunch of binders and boxers for free. Sometimes even my old coworkers from my mall days pop up out of the woodwork and send me 20 bucks or something.
I have more stories like this. Not even just about money. Like that guy who saw me pop a flat tire in the mall parking lot and insisted on changing it for me.
I actually also never feel guilty about asking for what I need, or accepting it, and you shouldn't either. I don't like this idea that you need to grovel and be exactly This self-flagellating and full of hatred and remorse to ride and earn one (1) morsel of kindness. What do I look like, a Catholic? You dont have to apologize for wanting to stay alive. You didn't ask to be born, and you weren't the one that put a price on living!
You know what I do instead? Pay it forward. Yes, I ebeg often, yet I, too, will sometimes send $5, $10, $30 to people I care about whenever we wind up with a little extra. You can't save money as a poor person anyway, it doesn't work, so why cling to my last few pennies when someone else could use it right now? I've watched Bel give away his last $5 to a different homeless person twice since we've been living in the car. One time we stayed and had dinner with the guy and his dog. He was a hitchhiker named Ray and he was SO interesting to talk to.
There are studies that show that the most generous people when it comes to donating are NOT the people with the most money. It's the poorest ppl in the community who have been or are in your shoes, and who know how you feel, who pitch in when you need it most. Hence the community $20. The idea that panhandlers are expecting something from well-off strangers who can't empathize with us is like... kinda silly lmao, we know most of those ppl hate our fucking guts and want us dead, actually. (Are rich ppl really just that threatened by the idea of sharing that they see someone going "help please (generally speaking)!" And they immediately go "ugh, ME????? How dare you ask ME specifically for MY hard earned money?????" Idk it kinda tracks.)
I also use a jovial tone in a lot of my posts because I have to ask for help a lot, and it gets tiring to everyone to constantly hear "I'm soooo sorry for being such a needy piece of GARBAGE, AGAIN, I really hate that i have to do this, but..." because that's just The Friend Who Is Apogizing For Breathing. That doesn't feel good to hear any more than it does to say, no one likes that. And yes SOME people DO want you to feel that way about needing help- but its not going to be the people who will help you, I promise you that. Also, think about what you're saying when you talk about yourself like that. Why are you garbage? Because the cost of living is too high? Because your boss doesn't pay you a living wage? Because your landlord wrings you dry? Because you can't afford your meds or food? How is any of that actually about you at all? How does being hungry and wanting to live make you garbage???
Deeply unfortunately, you also tend to get more attention with a chipper tone and a preemtive "thank you" instead of an "oh God oh God oh God I'm so sorry I'm so fucking sorry, fuck!!!!" I also won't imply urgency where there isn't any. Sometimes we DO need money asap and it's like, we'll literally be stranded in the woods with no food if we don't get it. But other times, we need money, but like, we have time to figure it out. I save the urgency for the times I really need it.
Instead I focus on the positive: I DO have a lot of friends who care about me, all over, and even strangers who care about me, too! Those people have been keeping my ass alive for YEARS! They shouldn't have to do that! I shoudlnt have to beg to continue to use my own organs! But also, how cool are my friends for being the realest commies I know??? They're not going to just let me die out here. Why would I be sad about that? Why would I feel bad about people caring about me and wanting to see me pull through? Why would I apologize for proving that the human loving spirit is in fact alive and well? In the times when there IS less urgency, I think it's just nicer to my friends to make a lighter hearted post once in a while- you know, for the ones constantly seeing this stuff and helping me out. I think it's nice to acknowledge them in a positive way, instead of always being like "god im do sorry that im STILL BREATHING, i know you guys HATE that!!!"
Like. Idk if this is making sense. Remember that post where the person was telling their partner, "I'm just so worried that you'll think I'm stupid and want me to shut up," and their partner said, "Thats kind of mean, I wish you wouldn't think of me that way"? It's like that. If your friends and mutuals wanted you to shut up and die and feel guilty for living, they wouldn't be sharing your posts or donating to you, and it's kind of... mean? To get off on that foot. It's like we expect people to only help us begrudgingly. Thats not true at all! Donation posts are optional. Most people who reply to them do so because they're in a position to help and they WANT to, because it makes them feel good.
It's thanks to my friends that I am still alive to make all these delightful posts for them to read. They want me to stay alive because they like having me around. So i try to continue to be that presence in exchange for their love and suppport, and yes, i will incorporate that into my posts asking for help, especially if its a less time-sensitive ask. Idk like, re-framing a situation and focusing on the positive is a basic coping skill from many types of therapy and I hate to say this but it really is good for you. (Also fwiw I try to always say "thank you" to every individual who sends me money, each and every time. Sometimes they don't let me send messages back thru the pay apps, and sometimes I forget, but I try to every time.)
Plus, damn near EVERYONE needs help right now! Poverty and income inequality and chronic houslessness and chronic ILLNESS are all at ALL TIME HIGHS. Pre-covid 25% of the population was disabled. I wonder what it will look like next time we get a handle on those numbers?
So just to be clear, again: I don't expect donations to pull us out of poverty! If that were realistic, it would have already happened, ive been doing this for a decade. I don't expect strangers to have a stake in our situation, either. All either of us want is to be able to keep living our lives as best as we can for as long as we can- and a lot of our friends, and other people, DO sympathize with that. That's a point of pride for the community I've chosen for myself. I refuse to feel guilty about surrounding myself with caring, wonderful people who actually read my posts. That sounds like a pretty big win for me actually lmao.
AND I refuse to feel guilty and self-deprecating over circumstances that are out of my control and don't actually weigh on my character whatsoever. Being disabled isn't a character flaw. Being unemployable bc of my symptoms isn't something that's "wrong" with ME. Being homeless during an ALL TIME RECORD HIGH of homelessness ISNT something thats "wrong" with "me," and it's not something I would want anyone else to feel guilty over, either! These things don't determine who I am as a person or the impact I have on the people around me. Clearly I continue to have a positive impact and be a good friend, or asking my friends for help wouldnt be keeping me alive. I simply don't have enough followers to get that much money from strangers lol. And I have more followers than a lot of people (around 1500 currently).
So yeah, this is to everyone else who's ever felt horrifically guilty for asking for help online or otherwise: even if you dont have a lot of connections and you ARE asking for help from strangers, needing one another isnt a character flaw! The people who care will WANT to help anyway, period. It makes people feel good to know they can help. And yes it does make people feel better to hear a "thank you! we are still alive and happy to be here!" Over a "fuck God I'm so sorry I'm still alive and burdening you all so with my high cost of breathing!!!!" I'm so sorry that you have to have a body! Me, too, bud. It's rough, but it's gonna be ok.
Anyway needing help is morally neutral. Now im just thinking about the way the upper class has poor people at each other's throats for the perceived "selfishness" of needing help- because in a world where you are constantly burnt out from work, and the value of a dollar is so horribly out of proportion to the effort it takes to earn, sharing that hard-won effort with anyone else does sometimes feel like too much. Im thinking about the way hoarding wealth & resources & keeping them behind paywalls is seen not only as morally superior but a sign of objective intelligence and life skills, vs how the way sharing is construed as foolishness, the way needing help to stay alive is construed as greed, while the upper class that literally stays healthy and youthful and thrives on the blood, sweat and tears of the lower class gets to pat themselves on the back for being morally superior, individualist, and "not needing anyone." Kinda makes me sick when I put it like that!
Anyway. Again, needing help is morally neutral, especially in this economy, and I refuse to hate myself for circumstances that aren't my fault and for having people in my life who are invested in me and want to see me pull through. Everyone deserves friends like that, and I hope you find them.
#me#homelessness#disability stuff#long post#car living#in case you missed the context#i had put out a donation post w a lighter tone. the one w the kitty gif on it#and this anon was like soo mad that i was 'trying to be funny and cute' instead of begging desperately#but ive been wanting to make this post for a while anyway just bc so many people do this#the whole oh my god im so fuckint sorry i have to do this again im so sorry to besmirch your dash and darken your doorstep etc etc#im sorry but i really feel like the ONLY people who WANT to hear that#are ppl like my anon who spend 0% of their time helping anyone ever#and most of their time saying shit like '97% of poor people have refrigerators' type shit#(real thing from fox news a few yrs back icymi. like poor people arent THAT poor. see. refrigerators!)#the only type of person who wants to see you self-flagellate for needing help getting meds#is someone who doesnt think anyone should ever have help getting meds.#wow i couldve just said that and instead heres a 10k word essay rofl.#anyway!!!!!
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Hellaverse Theories: Helluva Boss S2E2
Welcome to Quilly’s Hellaverse Theories, where I overthink the entire Hellaverse! Given that the word count for the s2e1 post was close to 6k…it is safe to say that the rest of season 2 for Helluva Boss will follow the Hazbin Hotel pattern of being single-episode instead of doubled up. And lol at my past self for thinking these posts wouldn’t be as long, because I forgot that while speculating about Phenomenal Cosmic Plot is fun…interpersonal character stuff is what I really go rabid for. So of course I’m gonna talk about it more. Lol. ANYWAY.
Let’s jump into one of my very favorite episodes, s2e2!
Let’s be honest, folks, I could listen to a weird eldritch astronomy lesson from Stolas any day. The fact that he’s telling it as a bedtime story to Via only makes it that much better—and the fact that teenage Via is SO EXCITED for it is the cherry on top!
…the explosive, explosive cherry. A cherry bomb, you might say.
(Sidenote that every single character doodles on their calendars and it’s cute, okay, it’s so cute and I love it)
Alright, time to get a moment of realness that I really, really need certain fanfic writers to pay more attention to: Stolas really doesn’t care that much about imps. He cares about Blitzo. But look at how he treats the other imps in and out of his employ. He isn’t Stella, isn’t screaming and throwing them around, but in this exact scene, he isn’t being particularly kind, either, and I’d say probably the most outright cruel he’s ever been to an imp: he has the butler squeezed into one hand like he’s a goddamn stress ball (poor Pringles, even if that isn’t your name it is now), and is waving him around as he carries the phone around with him WHEN HE OWNS A DAMN CELLPHONE AND DOESN’T HAVE TO DO IT THIS WAY (unless Stella called first, which is likely).
And in earlier episodes: he dodges Pringles when Stella throws him at Stolas instead of trying to help him out, he constantly overlooks Moxxie and Millie and calls them “you littler ones” or “you little creatures,” and with the exception of his childhood butler, he doesn’t interact with the other imps much unless it’s to ask them something (like to bring him absinthe, and I notice too how the servant he asks isn’t the one who shows up with the bottle and glass and instead looks like he’s being forced into the other imp’s place bc she doesn’t want to deal with Stolas). Just because he isn’t vicious about it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have bigotry. I get the reaction to write him as caring more about imps, I understand the impulse to have him know his servants’ names and converse with them and win their loyalty by being a generally good person to them, but Stolas canonically isn’t there yet. It would be cool if he could get there. But he isn’t. And this is part of the problem that Blitzo has with Stolas and one of the many cracks in their relationship foundation. Which makes me more hopeful that Stolas is going to address this within himself, at least (more so if he gets demoted and stripped of his powers at the end of the second season).
(And sidenote to wonder if the imp/hellhound prejudice baked into the foundations of Hell is ever going to be meaningfully addressed; it would be nice, but this is a raunchy dark comedy, so I doubt any task as complex and grueling as tackling systemic oppression is going to get any nuanced and meaningful attention. Maybe a sugarcoated tied-in-a-bow resolution, maybe just ignored and made better for the characters we care about, but not really fixed. It’s not like the real world is any better at it.)
Alright off my soapbox, now time to enumerate the ways Stolas is being a messy father :P
Hang on have to squeal about the cute little cuff that Pringles has on the spade of his tail. Fancy dude be fancy.
On the one hand, good on Stolas for not shouting at Via, but again, just because he isn’t shouting doesn’t mean he’s being nice. I went off quite a bit in the s2e1 analysis about how Via and Stella’s relationship is an unknown outside of what context we can try and draw from Via’s behavior, but I said something at the very end that I will repeat and then spend this episode reiterating: Via has the very normal and common habit of being mad about one thing and it actually being about her anger or fear over something else. Like this is a thing I think everyone does, but for Via, it’s more common for her episodes to follow that pattern. In Loo Loo Land, she’s upset about her parents’ crumbling marriage and being forced to spend time with her dad’s new sidepiece, but the root of that anger and despair is actually her fear of being left behind by her father; the other two things are manageable once that root is taken care of. We’re seeing something similar here: Octavia is excited to see a meteor shower with Stolas, but his feud with Stella gets in the way and she reacts, angry about the meteor shower and the broken promise (spoiler alert: that isn’t the root of her anger, either, but we’ll get there when we get there).
Even for the meteor shower not being what she’s truly upset about, she is still plenty mad about it, and she should be; Stolas is dropping the ball. Again. The straw that’s breaking her back, so to speak. And Via isn’t a little kid anymore. She’s old enough to act. So she does. Hell yeah, Via. I’m so ready to see how she’s going to be when she’s old enough to be introduced into Goetian society, because I cannot wait to watch her tear down her enemies with verbal precision.
Paused on Blitzo’s calendar and I just have to say, I am disappointed, fandom; there is not NEARLY enough Blitzo drag/cross-dressing material, for how often Blitzo shows up in dresses in canon. Not only has he put a doodle of his own head over Verosika’s on the sexy calendar, but right next to it, pinned to the wall with an arrow, is a doodle of himself in a fancy froofy dress. I need to screencap this and save it for always, excuse me a moment.
While I have the calendar pulled up, though: I notice that the little note that says “Stolas: Full Moon??” isn’t crossed out despite the day passing. That doesn’t mean much, because the only things that are scribbled out are notes for Blitzo to finally talk with Loona, an “I <3 Moxxie” that I really want to know if Blitzo wrote or not, and various fuck days, but. Hmm. Hmmmmm. It’s implied later that Stolas and Blitzo might not have been meeting for the full moon for a couple of months, but it does make me wonder if this episode is the first time they see each other since Ozzie’s. It’s not nearly awkward enough for that, but they do have more pressing matters to deal with, I suppose.
Hang on I have to laugh at Loona throwing hecking SHURIKEN at Blitzo while he tries to give her a little talking-to; she is being very violent, which calls back to her bad behavior in the pilot episode tbh, but. SHURIKEN. WHY??? XD
Moxxie living his best life, tbh.
I constantly forget when watching this episode that Blitzo and Loona are also in the middle of some father-daughter problems, mainly Loona not taking criticism well and Blitzo trying a tough love tactic that…well. They both know it’s completely toothless, because Blitzo loves her way too much (and can’t afford a new secretary are you kidding me) (…YET, Stolas as IMP Secretary for Season Three please), but. Enforcing some boundaries with Loona’s office behavior isn’t exactly a bad thing. Unfortunately, Loona sees any criticism of her behavior as proof that she’s about to get landed back into the shelter and reacts with anger that’s explosive, violent, and very defensive, so the fact that her dad loves her to tiny wibbly pieces doesn’t mean much when five-plus years of adoption as an ADULT isn’t gonna erase the coping mechanisms she learned as a CHILD. But it HAS been enough time for Loona to rely on Blitzo and believe that he’ll be there for her when she needs him, because he’s proven it. So maybe this tough love hits a little harder than Loona wants to admit.
Enter Octavia, doing a very cool ninja routine that really would not work on any other day: the floor layout doesn’t normally put a couch facing its back to the door, and Loona might actually care more about someone sneaking into the office (have she and Via met before this?? I don’t think Loona went with them to Loo Loo Land…yeah this might be their first meeting, and Loona wins some major cool points by not ratting her out. Nice) when she and Blitzo haven’t just had a big fight. The fact that Via finds the book with so little trouble is pretty hilarious, but it’s also so interesting to notice that despite her being so close to adulthood, she really doesn’t seem to know what to do with the grimoire besides make requests of it. Makes sense, her being a cautionary heir instead of a full heir like Stolas, who would have had to study the thing since childhood; also makes sense given the kind of doting father that Stolas has tried to be. He likely didn’t want to force her to study magic if she didn’t want to, or force her into mingling with the rest of the Goetia family, come to think of it. It’s surprising that even Stella doesn’t seem to force that issue, either. But then again, we don’t know for sure; Via not being at her parents’ “not divorced” party might just be because it was an “adult” party and not a ���kid” party. Stella declares that she loves throwing parties; maybe she’s thrown plenty and forced Via to go to those. I’m just. So upset that we don’t know what Stella’s parenting is like.
Also what kind of monkey’s paw bullcrap is in that grimoire, that “Take me to see the stars” lands Via in Los Angeles, of all hellholes? And it’s a recurring thing throughout the episode—every time Via asks for help in seeing the stars, it’s always movie stars. Not the meteor shower she’s looking for. Another clue in the ongoing picture of Via being powerful but untrained, woohoo. And for that matter, is Loona using the grimoire just because Blitzo wants to keep her out of harm’s way for missions…or also because none of the rest of IMP can work the book? In which case, how much inherent magical ability does Loona have, or does any Hellborn demon have? Is it the book that’s magical and the wielder that’s inconsequential? Because Asmodean Crystals and a lot of other magical items in Hell seem to just work, no matter who’s wielding them. Is the grimoire the same?
Ah, LA. I wonder if it was Octavia’s teleportation that killed Brennon Ragers (lolololol), or if he was already dead and Octavia just happened to show up where he was? Seems like the portal might have dropped her on top of him, but would that be enough to kill him? Also, notice: Via doesn’t have a human disguise, either. Seems like it might be something that Loona learned from the book, since Stolas can’t make them without it, at which point the next very loud and obvious question is why the rest of IMP doesn’t have them, buuuuuut they are accessing the living world illegally and the ongoing gag of the many ways they try (or, in this episode, don’t try at all) to hide themselves is funny.
OKAY HERE’S THE BIGGEST SCENE TO DATE TO FEED MY “IMP AND STOLAS ARE LEGALLY BONED” THEORY: The human protest in LA. They’re just chanting “protest,” but their signs are very interesting. “Demons walk among us.” “God hates you personally.” “To Hell” with an arrow pointing to whatever building they’re in front of. And the golden statue, which has haunted me for many viewings and which my insane brain has now become convinced is human Vox (I have zero proof; the statue has no identifying features beyond being a smiling man with a top hat, a suit, and a flower in his lapel. It doesn’t even share any traits with Vox whatsoever. It’s just vibes). The building they’re protesting in front of doesn’t seem to have any identifying features outside of some fancy architecture that’s kinda going to pot like the rest of the city around it. But why this tiny scene makes me think it relates to IMP: if DHORKS had so much footage of them and their exploits, it’s not crazy to think that some of that is online and circulating, maybe gathering steam as a weird conspiracy theory movement that just happens to be correct in this case. Human unrest, coupled with actual breach of Hell’s boundaries by angels using human-made technology? Pretty huge strike against IMP (and by association Stolas). And then Via getting spotted all over the place in LA, too (tripping over a second dead body? Poor girl). No camera flashes yet but I’m on the lookout for them now.
And the transition from Via’s panic attack straight into Blitzo’s really makes me want a bonding episode with them even more, thanks Spindlehorse :P and can you IMAGINE, if Blitzo and Stolas haven’t really talked outside of texts since Ozzie’s, THIS being the first call that Stolas gets from him when he’s stressed and in the middle of kicking his soon-to-be-ex-wife out of his house?? Stolas shows some restraint, frankly.
Via once again letting her inexperience get the better of her by going on a celeb-stalking tour, wonderful. But her excitement is so cute. I just wish she was able to be safe and excited with her fully engaged and present father. Just a thought.
Okay, the fact that Loona can not only track the smell of the portal, but knows exactly where in the human world that is?? LOONA YOU HAVE A PAST AND I WANT TO KNOW IT.
Loona and Moxxie’s animosity towards each other is entertaining. The fat jokes are not. Sigh.
Another instance of the background being framed just so in order to give the audience a look at a background detail that’s important: the LA water fliers. Which state that LA water is mostly acid and sewage. Gross. Important, but gross.
Blitzo’s very obviously flustered reaction to seeing human Stolas is interesting…given how canonically gross he finds humans :P apparently not all humans, huh, Blitzo? Exceptions made for ones that you bicker with like an old married couple?
(Stolas. Stolas you have to pay for—Stolas you can’t just steal—STOLAS—)
Also, the fact that LA is one of the few places they can walk around openly as demons and not have it be taken all that seriously is very funny to me. And Moxxie’s insistence on supporting street artists is even better. I also find it interesting that in the same city where some sort of anti-demon-flavored protest is going on, someone else finds Moxxie’s “demon costume” impressive enough to toss him a quarter. And the fact that he appears to be in a demon costume to begin with isn’t questioned Hmm. Hmmmmm.
Also. How interesting that Via pays attention to a particular stop on the bus tour with a father begging his wife and child to stay, only the second they’re gone to start smooching his male lover. How not at all a chilling parallel for Via’s own life. (The difference being that Stolas never once begged Stella to stay as far as we know, but…again, given how Via is upset with her father for also not caring about her mother…I wonder how much Via wishes he would beg them to stay? How much she wishes her parents actually loved each other? I mean, it would make for a better reality than the one she’s living in now where they hate each other’s guts pretty murderously, but…I do have to wonder how common a childlike fantasy that is for a kid whose parents are divorcing, to wish that their parents would just love each other and not have so many things drastically change for them all at once. But again: the root of that upset is the change, the fear of getting lost and forgotten and broken. Once that fear is addressed and assuaged, the separation can often become much easier to bear, especially if it makes both parents happier and more available to their kid. But that’s my outside observation. And my prediction: when Via gets the full picture, she can start to process her parents’ separation much better, and maybe try to reconcile her happy childhood with her horrific present, give it context and understanding. Though. The fact that her mother has tried to kill her father twice now and I suspect her uncle is about to jump on that train ain’t gonna be an easy pill to swallow.)
To the folks who make earnest predictions post-this episode about what Blitzo would look like as human and it isn’t just Brennon Ragers: you’re wrong but that’s okay. The giant ears slay me.
The Elmo head on a dinosaur body is unsettling, though, I’m glad the guy takes it off.
HEY WAIT A FUCKING SECOND. Just paused at exactly the right moment to notice that the guy in a pink shirt next to the Dino-Elmo furry has a tiny little design on his chest that looks an AWFUL LOT like the Voxtek logo. HMMMMM. TINY LITTLE EASTER EGGS. AND THE GUY IN ORANGE KINDA IN THE BACKGROUND BY THE GUY IN PINK DOES TOO. I might need to post a screenshot of this, actually, hang on let me rewind and see how much it’s popping up and I’m not seeing it. Alright, seems to just be those two for now. Which makes my “the golden statue is Vox” theory look a lot less stupid, huh? XD I love that the sign says “Holly’s Wood,” too. One: lol boner joke. Two: reinforcing that the Hellaverse world is just a little left of center of the one we’re living in now. Familiar enough, but different. Which is what makes speculating about the biblical differences in Hazbin Hotel so much fun, too.
I think about that screeched “I’m taking this out of their pay!” at least every other day. I just like the delivery. It’s funny to me. I haven’t paused this episode enough before to check and see what the guy with the whistle is waving around until now, but it being a film production degree is pretty great actually. As is the little popup ad that I desperately wish YouTube would go back to rather than now making me skip individual video ads as they pop up (does anyone know how to get adblock on a phone).
Proof that Stolas might need to date around a bit before he and Blitzo get together: bird likes being manhandled XD (not that Blitzo doesn’t or couldn’t but I doubt he can just pick Stolas up like this beefy dude does, not without some finagling and props)
I also wonder who/what does some of Blitzo’s imp noises, because the animalistic growling is pretty impressive.
And the way Blitzo just gets back on target when Stolas worries about Octavia—he’s a GOOD DAD and a GOOD FRIEND okay!!! Might not be on best terms with Loona right this second, given how she seems to ignore his orders until she accidentally stumbles on a trail to follow Via finally, but heck. He really does do the best he can while getting dragged into his own shenanigans.
And here we have the THIRD crime scene that Via has just walked through today; that is way too much crime :P The Star Owl souvenir sign is super cool though (poster when??). Poor kid.
Putting Blitzo back into showbiz like this is such a cool character moment, too—he’s nervous, he’s freaking out, he has experience but not good memories, and to have Stolas be there for it is priceless. First because he gives comfort by appealing to Blitzo’s ego via complimenting his sexual prowess (which I think normally would be just fine for a confidence booster for him, and might be Stolas reiterating that whatever else is going on with them, at least the sex has always been amazing), and second because Stolas has always been one of the few people to laugh at Blitzo’s jokes when he gets going (and the fact that we KNOW THIS since CHILDHOOD is something that KILLS ME).
Heh. Child star (???) snorting coke out in the open. Nice.
Hang on need to just. Live in the “breathless” moment for a bit. The touching, the blush, the gulp, the smile. Just. Living here. Forever. (Further proof that their arrangement isn’t just one-sided; even if they haven’t actually slept together or spent time together since Ozzie’s, Blitzo finds Stolas affecting and I love that for them.)
The big sparkly eyes Blitzo gets when people start reacting positively to his performance, though. I just. He’s just so. SPARKLY EYES. HE JUST WANTS ATTENTION AND VALIDATION DAMMIT. He’s just…not everyone’s cup of tea XD Bless him. And then Stolas’ big admiring eyes, and Blitzo’s finger guns, and Stolas gulping down 98% acid and 2% leaking sewer water—I WANT TO LIVE HERE.
But I can’t, because we have to check in on the budding sisterly relationship I want for Loona and Via so badly. I love that it’s an observatory that Loona finally finds her. STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES I JUST PAUSED ON THE NEWSPAPER: There’s a shot of Blitzo’s shadow under the headline “Alien Attack?” I’M TELLING YOU IMP IS GOING TO COURT OVER THIS OKAY.
I don’t know how I keep forgetting that Blitzo and Loona had a fight earlier in this episode that Blitzo isn’t feeling good about, when such a huge part of this episode is Blitzo’s flashback to getting Loona. Now let’s talk about the shelter for a bit: obviously run down and messy. Looks more like a jail than an animal shelter (though admittedly I’ve never been to…either, actually). And it’s an adult hellhound showing Blitzo around. I just have so many questions. Why is Blitzo looking for a hellhound? Wanting one for work? He does say he’s looking for one that’s more “family friendly,” but his excitement at being there feels like it’s a personal stop. He doesn’t say he’s looking to hire muscle or a new worker. He seems specifically there to adopt. Which. Only really works if the hellhound is a minor (even if only barely, Miss I-Was-One-Month-Away-From-Being-Eighteen). And it seems like it’s only minors in the shelter anyway (barring the second hellhound Blitzo is introduced to, who seems older). Maybe Verosika’s jab about Amber Alerts earlier was more of a hint at Blitzo wanting kids than I thought.
More questions: the sign overhead says “Hellhound Adoption” but the hellhound guide says “he’ll be perfect for whatever work you want to use him for.” So. In order to get hired, do hellhounds…have to get adopted or at least be adopted at some point? Did Verosika adopt Vortex? That feels wrong and weird. Frankly the fact that hellhound adoption is a thing already begs so many, many questions about hellhound societal dynamics. I’m drowning a little here. “A gift for the wife, huh?” YIKES. YIIIIIKES. Yeah there’s a reason hellhounds are on the same level as imps, huh? Though it seems like imps might even be slightly above hellhounds in some ways, if hellhounds have adoption centers like this and can be GIFTED to other people, even imps. “We’ll be rid of her next month when she ages out. Good riddance, if you ask me. She’ll never amount to anything much.” WONDER WHY, LADY. And the way Blitzo just immediately latched onto her—THEIR NEED FOR CONNECTION IS KILLING ME SLOWLY OKAY.
And the fact that Stolas can tell that Blitzo is suddenly not okay—oof. Also, “you little anal fissure” is hands-down my favorite insult Blitzo deals out in the entire show, bar none. It’s poetry. It’s grace. It’s beauty. It’s so funny I die laughing every time.
I also die over Stolas’ little wimpy “eh!” as he throws a bottle of acid at the producer and most certainly kills him. STOLAS YOU CAN TURN INTO A GIANT RED AND BLACK ELDRITCH MONSTROSITY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING XD
Y’know. Shooting up and burning down a production studio in LA while there are CAMERAS RECORDING…not good for being low-key in the living world if you’re Hellborn and trying to stay out of sight. Also, the way the electronics around the place start to go a little goofy��“Let it burn” on the teleprompter, “Panic” on the screens facing the audience, the way the lights shut off and then back on and there’s a lot of dead folks all of a sudden—makes me feel like a certain cosmic someone is reveling in the chaos and violence here (Roo show yourself u mysterious temptress).
I believe in Blitzo’s muscles, Blitzo Is The Lovely Bride 2k25. (Or however that meme goes with the lovely pony bride and the fucked up little pony husband.)
Now back to Loona and Via and very important future stepsibling bonding: I LOVE that Loona drops her human disguise before drawing Via’s attention. And that Via opens up to her so quickly. She really could use a friend; no indication that she has any of those, which isn’t good for her or for her and Stolas’ relationship either. My Hellaverse friend said she thinks Via is 100% right when Via says “why does he hate her more than he loves me?” and that Stolas’ child being his only positive relationship his entire life isn’t good for either one of them, especially not Via. I agree…to a point. I think Stolas does hate Stella more than he loves Via…FOR NOW. I think the emotions he’s trying to regulate are all so intense right now, so new to him, that he is failing Via, but Loona is also right that this situation isn’t entirely as simple as that, either. Stolas is trying the best he can, and while it may not be a very good best right now, it’s not nothing (for examples, see Paimon and Cash, who both need giant punches to their terrible fatherly faces). It’s the kinder side of praising bare minimum, I think: acknowledging that sometimes, yeah, scraping bare minimum really is an accomplishment and should be celebrated.
(Via’s little bird noises. SO cute.)
And we come back around to the root of what Via is really upset about: it isn’t about the meteor shower, it’s about how her father’s attention and affection is somewhere else, and how alone and abandoned that makes her feel when that’s already an issue she has. But, much like the entire situation between her parents, Via doesn’t have all the information. She doesn’t know that her dad is down in the city looking all over for her (and to the folks who want to disregard that and say no Stolas wasn’t, he was hanging around Blitzo and ignoring Via the whole time, may I remind you that Stolas can’t track Via and he doesn’t have Loona’s number. If Loona finds Via while they’re trying to get out of this human showbiz mess they’re dealing with now and can’t really escape without causing a scene…which happens anyway…Stolas would have no way of knowing. His powers are limited. They are technically not supposed to get noticed as demons. He is ONLY safe with Blitzo right now, and only able to have half a chance of catching up with Via if he sticks close to the guy who DOES have Loona’s number and WILL hear about it when she finds Via). She doesn’t know how bad things are between her parents. It’s likely she doesn’t even know how bad her mother truly is (FUCKING HELL CAN WE JUST GET SOME SCENES WITH VIA AND STELLA THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH STOLAS—). This shit DOES get messy. And only going to get messier, thanks to Andrealphus and Stella.
Listen. Stolas does need to be trying harder with Via. But it’s understandable that he’s letting the ball slip, between his own self-loathing and now this messy separation and also the very messy situation with Blitzo. He doesn’t get it right every time. He can’t. Just like Blitzo with Loona, the fact that Stolas is even trying isn’t nothing. Yes he can be doing better, but what he’s doing ISN’T NOTHING. These two things can be true at the same time. Stolas isn’t worried about reputation or appearances, he just wants Via to be safe, and being in the human world by herself is not safe for her. And Blitzo wants Loona to be less offensive to customers, but he also wants her to be happy and know that even if she drives away all their business, he still loves her and wants to be in her life (and wants her in his, won’t be replacing her or getting rid of her EVER). Fucking. STOP PRESSING MY DADDY ISSUES BUTTON, VIV. IT’S RUDE.
The HUG. I just need them to be friends so badly. Parent Trapping their dads at some point, but also hanging out because they both need friends so badly.
Stolas doesn’t yell or lecture, he just wants her to be okay. And then immediately apologizes when he realizes how badly he messed up. HE’S TRYING.
“What the fuck is that?” “MY ACTING CAREER.” Yeah, not the first time a career in showbiz has gone up in flames for Blitzo, huh?
…I’ll just. See myself out for that one.
I love how even though Via’s going to have to wait another thousand years for the next showing of Azathoth’s Tears, she and Stolas are still making the best of the situation and admiring the fireworks. Making lemonade out of lemons, I suppose. Just enjoying each other’s company, which is what Via really wanted all along. She’ll come to terms with the divorce, with her parents’ true relationship, all of it…so long as she can still hang out with her dad and feel seen and loved.
Which is what’s gonna make their next confrontation in s2.5 hurt so damn bad, huh? :))))
Okay, brief interjection to say it took me so long to understand what “Mackin Stols do it now” translated to, because “macking” is another way of saying “making out” or kissing and I got very, very sidelined by that train of thought before I realized he was saying “Making.” Also. Are we…gonna talk about how Blitzo can spell out loud just fine but can’t do it when typing or writing? No? Fine.
I’d love to see more of Moxxie getting sucked into supporting local artists to the detriment of everyone around him. It’s such a great character trait.
Okay, that’s that! On to the next! Trying to get these all out tonight and tomorrow and making terrible time, woohoo!
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I find myself still looking at her social media to see her stories. And it clicked for me today that I’m checking to see if she is having a better life than I am. And to be honest it seems like she is. My health is shit, she’s got her own apartment, my job sucks, she makes lattes and gets her nails done, I never see my friends bc I either don’t want to or I bc they annoy me beyond belief, and she is out here painting and talking about love and growth with her best friend. Who even is her best friend? Who doesn’t tag their best friend? Is it her boyfriend or did she grow up and get the ability to form a friendship. And it would be so funny to me if her best friend was her bf’s sister. She talked shit about the folks who come out of that side of town and now I guarantee that’s where she moved to. How is her intern job even paying her enough to have her own apartment? Yeah she’s definitely having a better life than I am. I can’t find anybody to share my love, I live with my mom, my job is pathetic, and I sit here every night to see if she has posted. I bet she never checks in on me because she fucking hates me, she never loved me, and she has forgotten me entirely.
#oop#rant#sorry I just had to get that out#I hate her so much#like literally hate her#I remember saying I’d always have love for her and ive never been more wrong#not an ounce of love exists for her and it hasn’t for a long time#I think I just loved who I was when we were together because she was a horrible girlfriend#truly
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currently watching part 8 || my gear and your gown
had some free time (read: it was 4:30 am) so i cranked in half an episode of my gear and your gown before i collapsed. here were some of the notes i wrote on my phone while i watched. everyone pack it up for episode 8! don’t read if you don’t want spoilers!
it's been a while since i was on this show so obv my brain is recollecting what happened in episode 7 and my first question is what exactly is up itt’s ass here?? and does no one care at all to ask why tf he’s even at this school? like yes i love that they’re getting a second wind and all with college but also — pai. have you no curiosity at all?
how can this fond of a smile be produced by your crush slamming the door of Friend Zone right in your face?? either folk is terminally down bad or we're about to see some extreme romantic conflict in the upcoming episodes.
it's such a cliche but can i talk about how much i adore aggressively flirty short men paired with tall men who always seem to embody the essence of "wtf is going on rn"? i was put off earlier by the erasure of a possible pure-waan romance but this?? oh this i can get behind.
THIS MAN'S AUDACITY. i'm so confused. am i forgetting an explanation for his actions somewhere in between episode 7 and episode 8 because ??!??!??!? this show is doing a fantastic job at making me physically require understanding wtf is wrong with itt.
i mean i can see he's trying to help pai out but why? and why like that? why was he such an asshole before and now he's trying to be all sweet and subtly kind? i'm sure he's had some kind of emotional realization or something but what is the approach he is taking?
this smile in response to pai angrily staring at him is giving the same energy as folk smiling at pai's shut door except with more chemistry. the only difference is that itt is a true love interest and also batshit crazy rn
AND WTF IS THIS LOOK FOR??? if i look up an encyclopedia definition of the word "whiplash" this man's face better be plastered right there, front and center
a moment of silence please for the guy who got alcohol poured ALL OVER HIS WOUND. bro didn't even shed a tear. when itt walked in he just walked away. the way i would be sobbing. that little girl who felt his pain? that would've been me.
it seems at this point i fell asleep and/or wrote no more notes bc i have no further recollection of the episode or records of my reactions. hopefully i'll be a little more active in the coming week/s since a wave of work just passed
love you all and please get a good night's rest! (or have a good day depending on where you are.) <33
#currently watching#thai bl#gmmtv bl#my gear and your gown#itt is confusing me#but i feel like he's not supposed to be?#like if i were a smarter audience member i would get it#but for right now i'm very confused#also i can't believe how forward the waan and beau romance is already!!!#i thought they would've dragged that out#but seeing waan helping out with the activities and stuff with beau was so cute#that could be you itt#if only you were less of a DICK#to your LOVE. INTEREST.
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manifestations + new stuff
what will be happening this year:
will start grad school (3 years)
possibly moving out?
I had talked to my mother about moving out about a year ago. It was just contemplation. What she said to me was nicer than what I imagined it would be. basically, she stated that she would support me, as she knows that I would eventually move on with my own life. this was way better than what I thought it would be. I had internalized the guilt of a first gen daughter, and assumed that I would get hit with a guilt trip. Now that grad School will start in august, I have been starting to actually look into it. the guilt mostly came from how my mother would pay rent. who would cover my portion? I did remember that she told me one of her friends was interested, so maybe she still is? I brainstormed and rehearsed what I would say for the entire day basically. if I said ONE wrong thing, she would easily twist that and use it against me.
The conversation I had with her was tough, but I wasn't attacked which was nice. basically said that if I wanted to do that, I have 30 days to do it and I would have to figure out my own bills that I go half with her. I was taken a back, especially because i didn't state a definite day that I would leave. im hoping it is just a test, lmao? I would have to figure out 1. rent 2. cell phone bill 3. car insurance 4. internet 5. light (utilities) + other expenses like food. I am going half on our car insurance, so that'll be interesting to figure out. it feels like she wants to completely cut me off, which I understand if that is what independence looks like, but it is a very hard transition. my sister will start college soon, so hopefully she can get a job and help my mom with rent + the additional person that will rent my room which I assume will be her friend that was interested.
as for myself, im kind of winging it. I would like it to either be by work, or by school. I should be able to find a decent deal in oc, but lb def has cheaper prices. if I go to lb, I will be leaving oc which I don't think im ready for? my boyfriend has been having issues with his roommate, mostly bc of their differences in lifestyles. based off what he told me, I think his friend may be autistic, which makes it difficult for him to communicate and adapt to change. I feel a bit bad bc it was me coming over that caused this. my bf feels bad bc they've been friends for so long, and he's not sure if he has ruined their friendship. I tried to comfort him and went over how to present his feelings to his roommate, without making it sound like a guilt trip. his roommate said he needs to leave asap, but is open to paying his part until the lease ends (oct) which is interesting. the rate that they are paying is what a 1b1b is going for, which is wild? if his roommate does leave, the possibility of us living together increases. I would feel more comfortable living with him than with new people. it seems very fast, I am aware of that, but I really do love him and don't have a bad gut feeling about this. I still haven't told my mom that I am contemplating living with him, mostly bc I do not want her to see him as a bad person, bc she easily splits. when we had the conversation, she did not bring him up which was a little surprising. there could also be the possibility that she likes him compared to my past partners. I will talk to him about this later today, and what my plan is. im not exactly sure how serious my mom was when she told me she wanted me to have it figured out by may (two weeks?), but she could also be testing to see if im as capable of being an adult as id like to think I am. welp!
income wise, im doing pretty well. I make 25/hr FT, around 4000. my partner makes around the same as well. he's currently doing a certificate program that could bump up his income once he has the certificate and takes advantage of the career center program available for folks in tech classes. based off the stuff he's doing, income will most likely go up (tech related), especially in OC where there's so many companies looking. remote work is also a possibility. I would def not be contemplating moving if we both worked service jobs. but I should be good as rates go up. what im not too sure about is my moms income. she works two jobs, and brings in around 2500/mo. my sister could pitch in around 500 if she gets a job. the roommate (prob her friend, Bee) will prob be looking at 1-1.5k. making it 1k mom, 500 sister, 1.5k roommate. so looks like it should work out? I was also thinking abut my dog as well. initially, we got her for me as an ESA, but she has become super close with my mom and probably likes her the most. so she'll most likely stay here.
im very excited to see what my next steps will be. it will be hard, esp adjusting after being with my mom for so long. but its okay, life goes on and I guess my start will be in 2023.
easter went good! I spent Sunday with I and his family. there was a good chunk of them, around 10-15??? they were all very nice and welcoming! this was his hispanic side, which he basically grew up with. his aunt liked that I spoke Spanish, and they probably liked that I was latino and visibly brown as well LOL. my bf was trying to enjoy the event, but it was hard when he was just thinking about his friendship in the back of his head. I got home early that night bc he was feeling tired, which I understood. it was cool to finally be around a lot of cool people/family. my family is small, and with my moms personality disorder, she always has beef with them so we have NEVER had a gathering that I can remember (23 years? lol) mostly because of her pride and individualistic selfishness. I understand why she would think that way. to her. she's closer with her sisters in Mexico, but due to her status, she cannot see then unless she gets documentation or if she just decides to go back. we have had the convo before, and she has said that her hopes are to go back to Mexico and live in the home that she was been putting money in for the past two decades. ive been aware of this, especially when many of my own clients born in Mexico that have shared that their end goal is to be in Mexico bc they don't want to pass away here. I don't think that will be any time soon. maybe once my sister goes her own way. anyway, thats it for now. I will practice some manifestation bc tiktok astrologers are saying its important
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AAAAND IT LOOKS LIKE JENNA AND ETHAN ARE ATTACKING DREAMS TOO LMAO (the jay ocs are getting too strong. beta, grayson, dee and talon next??)
THE COMBINED AU INDEED HAS SO MUCH COMEDY POTENTIAL. I NEED TO DRAW DAMNITTT
BRO JAY WORKING AS A JANITOR TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT I'M DEAD, my guy did NOT know he already had a wife and two other kids. as if the premature grey hairs from kaida's exaggerations weren't enough he got that to deal with too 😔 and plus jenna has the same hellspawn energy (she would 100% join in kaida's illegal work once they properly get along) and ethan's a 6 year old and we know how 6 year olds are, the grey hairs are gonna be neverending 💀
kaida instantly wanting to leave when she realizes jenna and ethan are getting closer to her 😭😭 she's basically like
hellspawn only child that has trauma and has 0.0000 tolerance meets hellspawn siblings who also have trauma, and here folks war is declared (the first few weeks were definitely a nightmare :'DD)
jenna would only start being nice just because of nya and jay, but when she starts to get a bit used to kaida and realizes how she isn't taking her father either she genuienly starts to try as the time passes!
ethan wouldn't really talk to her because he mainly thought kaida would replace jenna as a new older sister, but then realizes that they're both his sisters. he, never knowing jay (properly atleast, my guy was only a year old), didn't have big feelings abt him unlike jenna so seeing him with kaida didn't impact him much, but he wasn't able to see the two of them as his sisters as jenna was basically his role model his entire life
...oh shit I just rambled about these two uhhhh. very sorry :'DD man I really need to work on that rewrite bc I got some oneshots in mind
trust me tho jenna and kaida would be The Hellspawns™ together when they begin to see eachother as family, their dynamic would basically be the equivalent to kai and wyldfyre's atp (especially if jenna gets her powers at some point– lightning and spirit children together? you're dead in one blast), baby boy ethan would definitely join in aswell
I need to draw I need to make memes I need to fuckin drAW-
Taddy!!! I come bearing two things!
1. Since you said it was okay to leave weird things in your inbox, you have stripes! All humans have skin patterns that are invisible to the human eye called Blaschko's lines! Some people have visible lines as a result of certain skin conditions. Idk why but I love telling people about that information
2. I just had a dream last night that when Jay and Kaida met Nya and Jenna and Ethan and Jay realized that he was going to have to get a second job to pay for child support and he became a janitor? For some reason? I just remember him furiously mopping the floor in the Administration and Kaida eating a sandwich saying "you know you don't have to do this right" and Jay's like "do you know how much child support is?! just imagine if I had to pay alimony too" so do with that information what you will ☠️
1- Finn, you have no idea how much I love this kind of data about anything. I'm the type of person who is constantly sharing essentially random knowledge like "Did you know that the length of a cat's whiskers is the width of their body?", so thanks for that information, I had no idea about that.
2- WHY IS KAIDA INFECTING EVERYONE'S DREAMS? Literally the other night I dreamed that she was trying to do a fire drill like that episode of The Office and Jay had to try to justify her actions.
Also, Jay trying to deal with having two more kids and paying child support is so funny to me while Kaida is with her "just don't do it" attitude. She's the typical girl who was raised as an only child and has 0 tolerance for getting used to having siblings. The combined AU has infinite comedy potential.
#<- of course she is but i imagine she would warm up to them eventually#<- Oh of course eventually she starts to see them as family too#especially once she realizes that they don't want to take her father away from her#and that she doesn't have to compete for someone to care about her#ignore me giving spoilers of her character arc#<- I absolutely live for the kaida angst man 😭 I wanna give her a hug so badly#and the fact that the three all just want to be with their dad and that no one is taking him from anyone yet they dont realize it#kaida wants someone to take care of her and love her and that was jay who did all that to her#so shes afraid someone might take him away because he's the one who practically saved her life and took her in#jenna wants to continue bonding with him and wants him to love her as his daughter like he used to#and she lost him more than once already and never wants it to happen again#ethan wants to know his father and wants to learn how to love him because he never even knew him and only ever had his sister and uncle#none of them want to take him away they just wanna be with him#and when they realize thats when they start warming up to eachother#to see eachother as family#..and I rambled again#the angst tho. The Angst™. who could blame me??#both comedy and angst fit perfectly into this au and I'm obsessed I'm telling you#taddy tag#finn tag#levi's beloved mutual(s) <3#kaida walker#oc: jenna walker#oc: ethan walker#combined au#dad jay au#early family au#levi's ted talks
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get u a them that can do both
#this is my REAL munday post and it's here to celebrate Short Hair Ros :)#sometimes i consider doing an o.nlyf.ans or something and then i remember that looking at my own meat prison gives me a headache#that's how it is. either i want folks to pay to look at me bc i'm a god or i want people to pay to look at me bc it's a fineable offense.#no middle ground.#anyway happy munday my darling followers <3#||x AT LEAST THERE'S SOMETHING UNDER THE MASK [ mun ]#||x sheer calculated silliness [ ooc ]
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a question for you and your followers: what is a binder supposed to feel/fit like? I just bought my first one from For Them bc I wanted to support them over a larger brand, and thought I had a decent chance at a good fit because you get fit for one based on your actual measurements. It came in the mail today and there's lots to like about it - not itchy, doesn't give me a rash, I feel like I can breathe in it. But I feel like it doesn't actually compress me much, even though it's fitted to my measurements. I feel a little flatter than a sports bra, but they're still noticeable through my shirt. My partner is cis, and he's got some pretty big moobs, but it looks normal on him because he's quite muscular. I feel like i've got the gym bro moobs now, but none of the muscle in other places that make that moobs rather than boobs. for context I'm between a B and C cup, so I don't have particularly large breasts. Just wondering if my binder should fit tighter, or if this is generally what i should expect from binding.
It's harder to tell when a binder is too big vs. too small, but in my experience:
Your binder might be too small if...
The compression panel (non-stretchy fabric in the front) is either not long enough, or only barely long enough to cover your chest (i.e. breasts poke out underneath).
The compression panel feels overly scratchy (esp. if you do not have a history of sensitive skin).
You notice how snug/tight your binder is throughout the day (it feels unnatural or even uncomfortable).
You can't take a full, complete breath- your lungs won't expand past a certain point.
You can't cough easily with it on.
Your ribs are sore/ache when you wear your binder, or even after you take it off.
Your ribs feel stiff even after the binder comes off.
After wearing your binder consistently for a while, your lung capacity is impacted even when the binder is off.
Your binder might be too large if...
The binder moves around on it's own (riding up, twisting, etc.).
The binder doesn't feel (comfortably) snug on you, even when you're actively paying attention to the feeling.
Your binder is probably appropriately-sized if...
You can forget it's on most of the time.
When you do notice the binder, it's not because it feels uncomfortable or tight.
You're able to take full, deep breaths with it on.
You can cough with it on.
When you remove the binder, any feelings of stiffness are gone within a couple of minutes.
After consistent/regular use, your body feels the same with it off as it did before you started wearing your binder: your lung capacity and rib movement are the same.
Notice that I'm not referring to how well it binds here; binders work differently for everyone, particularly if you have a larger or denser chest. Fit is determined by comfort/feel first.
You might try a size down, or a more trusted company first (gc2b has sizing specialists who can help you get a correct fit for free!), to figure out whether it's a binder size issue or just an incompatibility with compression binders- but if a binder feels too tight, stop wearing it immediately.
Transtape might also be an option if compression binders end up not working for you (folks with larger chests do also tend to run into problems with tape, but this is more dependent on shape as well), or you might even combine methods (after you ensure both the tape and the binder are correctly and safely fit/applied, and that neither alone works well enough for you- and with extreme caution.)
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like bruh i been compilin’ some stuff for the miklan lore like screenshots and all?
and i just
im so glad i was right and that all my headcanons were true and ended up happening in this game
and it proves to me that miklan was a product of his surroundings and how terrible his family life was
he got disinherited first, and then his dad and step mom fucking sucked and couldn’t get along and according to sylvain weren’t even good parents and sylvain didn’t just say to miklan, he said it in general. nobody was paying attention to either of them and miklan was angry at what happened so he took it out on sylvain BUT MATTHIAS HAD TO GO AND TAKE THE GOLD MEDAL AWARD FOR BEST PARENTING and NOT EVEN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT
like yeah you heard it here folks
HE DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING
UNTIL IT EVENTUALLY GOT SO BAD THAT HE DISOWNED HIM
LIKE
BRUH U RLY GONNA WAIT UNTIL IT GETS THAT BAD TO DO SOMETHING? YOU COULD’VE EVEN SENT HIM TO LIVE WITH ANOTHER NOBLE TO STRAIGHTEN THE PROBLEM OUT, LIKE, YOU KNOW, THE PROBLEM YOU CAUSED
BUT NOOOO HE’S TOO BUSY FIGHTING WITH HIS WIFE
WHICH MIND YOU LIKE NOT ONLY DID MIKLAN’S BIRTH MOTHER DIE BUT NOW HE’S SEEING HIS DAD MARRY THIS NEW CHICK WHO NOT ONLY ISN’T HIS MOTHER AND IS THE MOTHER OF THE CREST BABY SYLVAIN, BUT THEY JUST FUCKING FIGHT. SO NOW ALL HE SEES IS BAD INFLUENCES IN HIS LIFE THAT SEEM TO CONGRGATE AROUND SYLVAIN’S EXISTENCE
like nah im not saying matthais is the scum of the earth and that he’s the worst man in the whole world bc he’s not and he’s good to his king and his friends and all that
he’s just a horribly pathetic father and should never have been a father no ma’am no sir he cannot parent like this isn’t a gustave situation where he left his family out of guilt but always thought about his family and wrote letters he couldn’t bring himself to send. this isn’t like gustave where he loved his family to pieces but felt like he didn’t deserve them/their love
this is a DUDE WHO JUST AIN’T MEANT TO BE A PARENT
AND MIKLAN NEEDED SOMEONE TO STEER HIM IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION AND DIMITRI FUCKIN’ DID THAT HE FUCKIN’ DID THAT Y’ALL DIMITRI SAVED A MAN FROM CONTINUING TO LIVE THE LIFE HE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO LIVE
AND HE HAD NO CHOICE BECAUSE HE WAS DISOWNED AND KICKED OUT BECAUSE HE DID BAD THINGS BECAUSE NOBODY TAUGHT HIM ANY BETTER OR PAID ANY ATTENTION TO HIM AND PEOPLE JUST DIDN’T CARE ABOUT HIM
MIKLAN IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SURROUND SOMEONE IN A TRASH ENVIROMENT AND THEN KICK THEM OUT TO LIVE IN THE TRASH
BUT THEN, HE’S STILL A PERSON, HE’S STILL A HUMAN BEING AND IF YOU INVOLVE ONE WHOLE SINGULAR DIMITRI IT FIXES A WHOLE LOTTA SHIT AND DIMTIRI CAN TURN LIVES AROUND AND MAKE THINGS OKAY FOR PEOPLE WHO OTHERWISE HAD NOTHING
what im saying is miklan is a very good character and not only is he someone who grew up poorly because he was raised poorly (if really even raised at all after his mother died since we don’t know if his mother was good to him or not but either way he lost her so it would still be a huge blow to how he’d turn out, bc either she wasn’t there for him either or she was and he lost the only good thing he ever had), but he’s someone who could be saved and turned to a better path if someone just F U C K I N G C A R E D.
someone who wasn’t sylvain tho bc sylvain’s existence is what caused all his problems and for a kid who wasn’t taught any better i mean obviously he’s gonna look at sylvain and be like it’s his fault all this happened like nah it’s your dad and step mom’s fault this all happened to you and they don’t deserve to be parents and i rly wish you and sylvain had been adopted into another family bc your lives both sucked
but also it’s very good of sylvain to give him another chance and still want to get along with him
psa don’t let me talk abt miklan bc this is what happens and i’ve bottled this up for three years and now bc of three hopes well i may as well just let it go boom
#Three Houses#Three Hopes#Three Hopes Spoilers#Miklan#so yeah this is a thing and this is what happens when i rly wanna talk abt a character but like#ppl legit hated him for a while and i even heard there was this one roleplay group that existed once#that they literally banned him as a character which i mean that's just stupid anyway bc u gotta have chars who#bring some kinda conflict like wtf is point if everything is just peachy in a roleplay group#but for real people legit hated him that it would've been harder to defend him than it has been for gilbert!!!!!!!!!
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Let me begin to clear out the creepy crawlies from your ask. I believe there can be an argument made for almost every member of the BCC to be either A, B, or O (as in, each member has the capacity to be all three designations) depending on how youre writing. Do you agree? Please present your arguments.
@loose-cannon-wrestler
forever grateful @loose-cannon-wrestler you kind kind soul.
tossing it under the cut cuz it got long & not everyone wants to read this
i do agree. primarily bc even though a/o/b has strict gender roles & strict dynamics you can really kinda shoehorn anyone into those roles. which is the entire point of the genre really. to insert non-traditional types of people into traditional roles (ex: a hyper masculine dude as the child bearer, a/o/b fics that focus on smaller folks as the alpha, ect). so yes i think everyone in the bcc has an argument one way or another for any a/o/b dynamic (except maybe regal? he's a little hard to read as anything but an alpha, at least to me).
ill give my little run down on everyone's dynamic as i see it:
regal. like i said he doesn't really read to me as any other dynamic than alpha. probably bc he always plays the authority or leader type. i don't think i could write omega regal, but i bet there is someone out there that could. regal always seems like an alpha that others would defer to & listen to without much fuss. he carries a weight with his words & actions that very alpha.
bryan. to me bryan is like the perfect "small" alpha. like he's an absolute dick, he's judge-y, aggressive, expects everyone to just See him & Clap. the way he stalked mox for like...weeks & was obsessed with mox, was always on abt who mox was around & how none of those people were as good as bryan so mox should go with bryan. but as aggressive as bryan is going after mox he also instantly folds to mox's terms. bc mox got bryan wrapped around his little finger. bryan's so willing to do whatever he has to do to get mox to pay attention to him. while i think bryan can be easily written as an omega too, i think he fits the "small alpha grappling with stereotypes & expectations" role really well. espcialy bc i feel like that would make his 'type' omegas/betas that are bigger than him bc it makes him feel like Big Bad Alpha
mox. ill start this by saying i know people like him as an alpha, that it makes sense to write him that way. i just completely disagree. that is Omega. all the alpha types hang off him, try to get his attention, take care of him, hold him (everyone's holding mox around his waist). just as much as i'm a sucker for the "small alpha" bit, i also like the "unconventional omega" bit too. mox is big & tall, solid, intimidating, looks tough & rugged. he's not subservient, he doesn't just back down. you gotta earn it from mox. eddie has to save him from the bomb. bryan has to bleed with him friends. wheeler has to go through three trials! he's always the center of his groups/teams/stable too. the omega always seems like the center of the "pack" to me. mox also is very loyal & protective of the people that have earned that from him, he cares for those people & will go out of his way to be involved in protecting them. he just seems like an omega to me :)
wheeler! the one i can definitely see in any of the roles. either soft baby alpha that just wants mox to See him & see how Tough he is. or the sweet little omega that needs to show just how good he is. the idea of like mox & wheeler as the pack's omegas is really cute. but baby alpha wheeler learning from regal & bryan also fits really well. since joining the bcc wheeler has gotten more intense & aggressive, which just feeds into the baby alpha finding his teeth part really well. wheeler would also make a good beta too bc he's so easily fits into the role he's needed. when mox is freaking out wheeler backs up claudio for example. being in this important role of keeping both extremes settled down. which is why wheeler to me could def fall into any of the roles. one things for sure: wheeler makes all the tough guys weak :)
claudio. i mean...like c'mon. he is the model alpha! lol like claudio is what an alpha should look like, ect ect. everything claudio does is very alpha. the way he picked up mox the other day, the way he teased & spoke to danny during that media scrum, even stepping up to take over for bryan. claudio as an alpha to me becomes interesting bc he's chill. can't really write him with too many of the really toxic alpha traits bc he is just a large silly swiss man. like claudio isn't gonna get in someone's face for doing whatever alphas do to slight each other. he would drive aggro alphas wild bc he just doesn't get into it with them. however if a line is crossed he Will Take Care of It. claudio is the soft, secure alpha that everyone is jealous of & he's just like oh no im humble im not that great. but he is. i am sure there could be a really fun argument made for omega claudio, which would be very fun bc like i've said already that's one of my favorite bits. the person who doesn't physically look like their dynamic & claudio doesn't look like an omega so that could be fun.
eddie :) okay okay you cannot tell me eddie is anything but an alpha. i know he's not actually a part of bcc but he's...he basically is. like eddie is loud, brash, & aggro, he's territorial & loyal. he's often blinded by his emotions & does the impulsive things bc he gets all heated & hyped up. he's the typical hot heated alpha. he leans into that. but (like bryan lol) mox got him all twisted up, & eddie goes so soft for mox or wheeler. he's just such a good character of an alpha. & bc he's eddie you can strip away some of the more toxic traits or write them a little more usefully.
danny! also not a part of the bcc but a part enough for me to through him on the list. i mean, danny's presented to bryan & mox but also bitten wheeler! this is either an insecure alpha boy who doesn't know what he's doing or world's bitchiest omega. i mean, i lean towards danny being an omega lot bc it's a fun role to slot him into. i like the idea of omega danny with alpha wheeler, eddie or bryan. but also there's a fun idea of alpha danny & omega wheeler, alpha danny & omega mox. it's also fun to play with the fact that as an alpha danny is still a whiny bitchy little guy.
bcc is the most pack stable. but in short yes i think there's an arrangement to be made abt any of them in any of the a/o/b roles but these are my arguments lmao!
#ranger written#loose-cannon-wrestler#thank you for you kind ask!#i hope this all makes sense#ill die on my omega mox hill :) look at him
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marriage and birthrate in the empire
like with many cultures and societies, the empire has its customs and norms when it comes to things like marriage.
for the vast majority of ppl in the empire, sith or imperial, monogamy is the most common type of marriage seen. and within monogamous unions the couple can be of any combo of gender or sex.
for simplicity’s sake the color code is as followed: RED, female BLUE, male PURPLE, trans/nb/intersex
those in higher castes have more stipulations, considerations, and thought put into their partners rather than those in lower castes who can casually hook up with whoever they want.
another type of marriage that is seen, though not very commonly, are polygamous marriages.
with a poly marriage there is the head of house (crown icon) and the spouses/consorts (no crown).
these unions are typically only seen among sith families with prestige and history, but it’s not completely unheard of for some imperials to have them as well.
a monogamous marriage can turn into a poly one. if the head of house is like “hey, there’s this person i met... and i kinda like them? maybe if you vibe with them, i can bring them into our union?” and their spouse says “cool beans.” then yea, more spouses lol.
within a poly union, all children must be of the head of house’s bloodline. and the children produced with the first spouse (grey box) become the household heir(s)... usually.
and while all of the spouses/consorts may be married to the head of house, any/all parties can engage in whatever intimate activities they want with each other. the only “unacceptable” thing would be to produce any children that does not involve the head of house.
so you could have two husbands or wives that are way more into each other than the head of house. and it’s all seen as totally cool and fine. such attitudes however are more common among the sith than with humans.
now speaking of heirs.
for those in the upper castes, having An Heir of some sort is important and kind of a big deal. it’s part of the reason why getting juuust the right marriage partner is so important. it’ll usually be a thing the families discuss and negotiate over months or even years.
it’s serious business... lol.
but regardless of type of marriage (monogamous or poly), there is the one getting married (crown) and the one being married off (no crown).
those that are married off take the family name of their spouse and all resulting children of the union have that family name.
with the children you’ll either have an heir or a chosen heir.
in the GREEN circle up above you have an example of a plain, regular heir. that is to say, the firstborn.
in the ORANGE circle you have a chosen heir. not the firstborn.
there could be a myriad of reasons on why the family decided on a chosen heir over a regular one. maybe the oldest kid is a dumbass and fucks up. maybe they died before getting married. maybe the kid didn’t want that responsibility. etc.
again, as we move down the caste ladder, the less and less important all these inter-familial details become.
most “common” folk simply hook up with whoever they like, have kids, and their kids go off and do the same. they may not even take on their spouses name depending on how much they care about that.
just on a side note, if the married couple isn’t capable of producing children by themselves modern medicine and technology can help. or if the option exist, they could go the old school, natural route.
for example, among same sex sith couples (PINK rectangles) they will look for and hook up with other couples and... help each other out.
these unions don’t happen too often since they’re only there to make the babies and go on their way lol. though, the two families could stay connected and friendly if they wish.
now this is a lot of pomp and circumstance to get some babies! and you’d be right lol.
bringing in some REAL LIFE FACTS lol, but here’s how things went down and are going down for ppl irl on earth.
you see everywhere on the planet, before the advent of industrialization, you had populations like this.
all the babies. so many babies. but not too many old folk.
and it’s obvious why. no birth control, lack of modern medicine, famine, diseases, wars, etc etc etc. a lot of ppl died before getting ripe and old.
nowadays, or at least among the Wealthy Industrialized~ nations, it looks something like this.
also a couple of real graphs just to show how drastically things have changed.
a lot less babies!
this is attributed to a LOT of things. full super in depth research here if anyone wants: https://ourworldindata.org/fertility-rate
but in short... yea. birth control, women being educated and being allowed to work means they don’t have to just pump out kids. (which is GOOD btw). and the fact we have a lot more food and access to medicine means more ppl are living longer.
this ofc, is leading to Actual problems tho. bc if you don’t have enough New Ppl to replace the Old Ppl... yea, there will be some societal issues. now, i’m so nOT an expert but imho countries like the US could off set this by... immigration. by letting other ppl into the country to make up for a declining birthrate... but i digress!
within the empire you could have something like this during wartime where you’d have a portion of your adult population go off to fight and probably die.
but the IDEAL is this:
a perfect square of population if you will lol.
as older generations age out and die off, you have newer generation to fill their roles and keep the imperial dream going.
now unlike some modern countries irl that do a terrible job of trying to incentivize young adults into having kids (we all know who lol), the empire aids and supports parents 110%.
paid leave (for both), govt run daycares and schools so that when the kids are old enough to go to those the parents can focus back on their work. either tax breaks or monthly allowances from the govt to help pay for the kids. and usually, extended familial support is more common in the empire. so the question for most ppl in the empire isn’t “do you want to have kids?” but rather “when are you having kids?”
if however someone just vehemently opposes the idea of being a parent, there is no down side. the empire will not force parenthood on ppl since that’s a terrible idea for everyone involved.
that’s basically it... a more informal and jumbled post i know lol.
a few side notes?
teen pregnancy isn’t really a thing. if it happens the attitude is “you’re basically a child so no, you’re not gonna have baby.” (abortion is seen as a health service)
when imperials join the military at 20 (the legal adult age in the empire) everyone, regardless of sex, gets a birth control implant. bc having a lot of young adults close together... ppl are bound to get horny and you don’t wanna have the possibility of anyone having kids in inopportune circumstances so yea. they can have the implant removed whenever their mandatory service is done and get straight to making babies if they want lol.
children born out of wedlock def exist. very frowned upon in upper castes. not really a big deal with lower castes.
can you adopt kids. yes. and unlike rl where you have to pay lots of money, you don’t really pay anything. but the govt will require a lot of forms and check ups and visits and etc etc.
can adopted children become house heirs? yes. if that is the wish of their parent.
god the drama and tropes there must be in their media... “well your father is a lesser consort, so how bout you stfu!” “D:<”
are there “pure love” marriages in upper castes? yes. but a lot of drama revolve around those depending on who is the one being married off.
also, sith can and have been totally disowned if they decide to marry someone without their family’s approval. (this is serious business for them! lol)
y’all are free to send me questions or comments or whatever.
#swtor#worldbuilding#god idk what else to tag this as#literally just... brain vomit#composing some thoughts into one place#long post
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campaign 3 episode 32: braeuch
UGH twitch won't let me re-sub with prime until the 29th bc I missed the ONE DAY it was available
I have adhd, this is ableist
liam stop that
I always picture the aunt from coraline chiseling at the taffy bowl
letters is an scp
no dis a ssem ble
I've been making arcane gifs, so: sevika
cyborg ladies >
ah. family trauma.
"it was old" impossibly old. old as balls.
fcg whispers!
WhisperCam
orym
matt using this as an excuse to get a drink
"hold me"
Bad Cop
"we're level 7 and I wanna use it"
the way he paused after "it's been a while"
[sprays fcg with a water bottle] you! have! autonomy!
you are an AUTOMATON it is IN THE NAME kind of
this all hurts
laura inevitably giggling at "pussy"
not looking forward to "dancer is an irredeemable villain" takes
she's just. kind of a not-great person who is also facing probably the most traumatic event of their life? I wouldn't be at my kindest either
fcg :(
"you always do better when you talk" put me in the ground
weird steam-powered giraffe subunit
"you're always asking for more shopping"
somebody in chat said fcg makes the usb device noise when he swaps arm extensions and now it's all I can hear
it is now safe to remove your buzzsaw
travis did not prepare for this information
YES AND, BITCH
(I'm gonna have to hunt that down and make a gif)
"we're fucking at joe's?" "joe wants to fuck me?"
liam
"I didn't mean it like that" "yeah no sure you didn't"
this is how they get taken off twitch
"SAM. what's WRONG WITH YOU."
liam
…so he's rearranging fcg's guts
"only one thing looks purple in the whole world" the fandom trying to connect everything together
WOW
"delilaaaaah, make yourself usefuuuuul you stupid biiiitch"
she did not
sigrun's rune scars
(please read edda-earth)
I got distracted by tiktok (title of my autobiography) (that I didn't finish) (guess why)
the KAREN CULLING
"you cannot say words"
"where the FUCK is aeor"
"unchosen bits" folk pop band name
god time GOD TIME
does fcg become a changebringer cleric bc that would be cool
"guns for tiny monkey hands" is unchosen bits' debut album
"black powder" I miss viktor
love that ashley has a little mister prop now
ashon is that guy who flung the walmart pallet one-handed
is laudna's arm weaker at the elbow or at the shoulder
I have processed Nothing why are we stressed
fearne
they're gonna know
I always feel bad zoning out bc like. this is not much of a reaction post if I don't fucking pay attention to react
…..wooden hats
the faun can detect magic! I didn't know she knew how to do THAT.
cerberus assembly is the new uko'toa (uko'toa)
"everybody knows spartans don't exist!"
"we need someone fast" "and furious" "I could go" "you're neither of those things"
"I've heard people say 'brewch'" "they were wrong"
taliesin why was that so menacing
they are single-handedly going to change the popular pronunciation of the word "brooch"
travis
life is short, do something to a bagel
"first branch of a very big tree" [squints]
"be the best broken thing you can be"
newly refurbished chamber that was once bad
chetney why are you so HORNY
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