#that's all i want. idk!!!! people wouldnt put up with this stuff in books

[hog-guy]

putting this game in the "needed more copy editing" box with neon wh*te

[d10nsaint]

DAPHINE

secretive plotter, kim dokja, yoo junghyuk, yoo sangah x gn!reader [separate]

another request from @rouecentric 😦⁉️🤯 so surprised rn. Anyways i love od but he’s not here because i don't wanna make them all have a romantic setting then have od be the only platonic one bcs he’s like 12.also tagging @elychee bcs they're AMAZING and wrote abt the lcf trio with a plus sized reader and you should really check it out [wink wink] i really tried to make this gn pls tell if it isn't THIS IS ALSO JUST ME SAYING NONSENSE BTW IT MIGHT NOT MAKE SENSE

ʚɞ Kim Dokja;

DOKJA is just happy he has a lover.

Really.

He also loves hugging you after a warm day—you’re just so soft and sweet to him (like anybody would be. hes so

He loves touching you. Hes just such a sucker for affection because he had none when he was younger, and he'd be elated to have someone who could handle his touch and affirm him throughout the day that its okay and they dont mind.

When it comes to your body,he really likes your chest.He lays on it when you both are lying down on the couch or even in bed. But once, one thing led to another on the couch and his head ended up on your thighs. he was literally shaking. His mind was going a million miles per hour and his face went beet red, and it was to the point where you had to make sure he was okay.

ʚɞ Yoo Sangah;

SANGAH is so naturally sweet and was raised in a way that everyone is the same—and thats how she sees people! Of course, not until she finds an s/o whos plus sized. She finally realizes the beauty of plus sized bodies !!

after a long day of work getting harassed, she just wants to go home and settle down in her lovers arms with a book and some detox tea !!

once, she was laying atop you reading a book with your back against the armrest of the couch and her back against yours, and then she realized something—you were very soft. Well, to her, atleast. Ever since, you’ve always been the big spoon!!

Shes never really had impure thoughts about you or your body….in fact, you’d have to bring stuff like that up to her in a conversation because of how little she thinks of it, so i cant really do the thigh thing

ʚɞ Yoo Junghyuk/Joonhyuk;

JUNGHYUK would just be happy that you’d survive a situation where he can't get you both food. ( Idk why i wrote that,i can't go 5 hours without getting hungry)

He’d usually carry you around as a form of training—and never admit it. He also does it just to be able to hold you, but whatever.

He'd be very fond of you (in his head) and try to be very subtle with it-he'd throw you a high grade item and say,'here,you're weak' and if you call him out, he'd glare at you and do nothing else.

By the time that you both are dating, he'd have opened up and really cherished you,hoping to make you happy and give you a life like him of the past would have.

If theres a point where youre dating and not fighting for your lives, he'd love to [secretly] just hold you in his arms and cherish you. It doesnt matter if he's standing up or laying down.He's just so happy to have you in his empty regressor life.

ʚɞ Secretive Plotter;

PLOTTER really doesnt care about body types, even when they come to his s/o UNLESS its very unhealthy.

As i’d suppose that you and plotter would be in a nice,loving and healthy relationship, he’s seen your body—no matter how insecure you are. He loves you no matter what, and nobody should ever dare to talk bad about your body and your habits or else he’d (as I said in a previous post) reign hell upon that person.

Putting the reassurance aside, hes very glad to have a thicker/ plus sized partner, due to how much his body is developed. He wouldnt have to see you as a doll and try to hold back his natural strength with all his might (i mean he still has to hold back) but its better than nothing!

he LOVES to put his hand on your thighs. He can't go a DAY without putting his hands on them, if its meant to be a reassuring caress or a more intimate touch. Male? Female? Something in between? He doesn’t care.

[heartzzluvv]

☆ Things i’m manifesting ☆

☆ telekinesis

I feel like it would be really cool to have telekinesis, Ive always doubted the accounts on tiktok of people doing telekinesis but SHIII since anythings possible i might aswell manifest something ive always wanted!!

☆ winning a lottery

My mom needs this SOOO bad bruh!! This will help all our struggling.

☆ desired Friend group.

I have a specific friend group scripted aswell, idky but ive just been falling off with my friends like i have barley any friends left .

☆ Having A marks in every subject no matter what without studying

no becs does this even need an explanation? LIKE WHO WOULDNT WANT THIS? Ive been falling off, my grades are horrifying.

☆ photographic memory

Ive always wanted this && found this cool. Ive always found it cool how in “Alice in borderland” how he was able to always remember stuff, it was like a dreammm!

☆ Having pretty privilege.

No explanation.

☆ Desired scenarios to happen

No explanation.

☆ knowing human physiology , being able to read anybody just by their looks, moves,etc,

IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO LEARN MORE ABOUT PHYSIOLOGY! Like ive always found the whole topic cool. But when i found out about human physiology? I WAS SOO INVESTED! i have to wait to get the books, so why bother just make my 2D a reality.

☆ Revising WHOLLEEE family.

Mainly my birth dad since i havent met him, but my point stands

☆ Able to shift instantly on commands.

No explanation.

☆ Can breath and see underwater.

No explanation.

☆ ideal swimsuit

theres these super cute swimsuits that are like 30Million dollars for each piece and im like WTFFF so im just gonna wait for it to come to me

☆ meeting amazing people

I havent scripted anything about these amazing people, so im just gonna let it come unexpectedly!

☆ Going on an trip to disney cruise

No explanation.

☆ ability to see who is the good person (if you see green aura around a person that means he’s a good person and if you see a red aura around a person that means he's a Bad person).

Ive always wanted to be aware if somebody is bad or not, not like anybodys gonna listen to my ruling, but atleast I know.

☆ desired body&& face

No explanation

☆ healing power

No explanation

☆ Manifesting a genie that grants you unlimited wishes

Because what? ive always felt deep down that ts was possible.

☆ meeting future me

Because i wanna know how ill be in the future PERIODT

☆ Ability to see into the future.

No explanation

☆ a yacht

my family is dirt poor , so this would be so cool and mean sm to me idk

☆ mom randomly getting a loaddd of money

my moms poor

☆ being fluent in french and spanish

CAUSE IVE ALWAYS TRIED TO WANT TO KNOW THESE LANGUAGES

☆ not feeling any pain

No explanation

☆ able to see peoples auras

No explanation

☆ all animals love me

Cause it would be so cool for a bird to not scatter like they normally do when they see people

☆ an adorable kitten

My mom said no pets but idgaf

☆ a pendant that you can put on your stuffed animals or pets that allows you to understand and talk to them!

IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW WHAT MY PETS SAY!! Like i wonder if my cat just goes like “get tf away from me you ugly ass bitch”😍

☆ infinite money card

it would be so hard to explain

☆ getting a fairy friend , Whose name is magical && looks like tiana

basic name but idc. i really want that cute fairy.

☆ my mom being less strict

She wont let me date or dye my hair . OR GET A SEPTUM.

☆ all piercings heal fast

im supposed to get a belly, industrial, snake bites & septum. so ofc

☆ blowing up on tumblr

A DREAMMM FR!! but im not in a rush nd idm watching my acc slowly grow.

☆ learning more about LOA

I wonder if LOA works like this. like can i just manifest to manifest?? LMAO

word to manifest all - “Cinnamon roll”

[rjschoicesstuff]

ok i am curious about rex and i think you might've mentioned it before: how has her gender developed throughout their story, especially in meeting imtura and other orcs, etc? how was their gender perceived with humans vs later on and how did it affect her :3

OOO fun question, thank u!! I ended up rambling really bad but feel kinda bad answering an ask with a wall of text, so I'll give the tl;dr and put the rest under the cut hhaha

I'm not gonna interchange pronouns for the whole thing like I usually do for Rex LOL cause it's easier 4 me and also she wouldnt gaf

Rex was raised as a boy cause her adoptive parents couldn't tell if she was a boy or a girl when she was found. (I hc that all orcs have the same primary sex characteristics) Rex is made aware of this as a child but doesn't really have her 'oh wait im not just a guy im also a girl' moment when she starts being mistaken for a girl sometimes in her mid teens, after she started growing out her hair and wearing make-up and stuff because she liked it on her girlfriends.

Rex only really told those she's close to, but it's no secret either, she's just very indifferent about what pronouns and stuff people use for her so if people catch on that's nice, but if they don't it's whatever.

The only thing Rex is really 'strict' about is that she's Kade's brother and not his sister.

In Riverbend she never really changed her presentation, a mix of being hesitant to do this and just not really feeling the need to.

I'm still figuring out what I want my take on orcs to be like + feel like I need to replay the books first because I want to keep canon stuff in mind too, but don't think Rex is necessarily gonna change her perception on her gender identity once she interacts more with other orcs. But idk for sure yet! Because she does want to learn all about the culture and this will impact her and in the end gender is cultural too. (but also it's a thing that Rex does feel like an outcast among the orcs and doesn't fully fit into their culture + just generally lots of complicated feelings)

Things that do kinda apply tho: Imtura and Tyril are her first romantic relationships she had since figuring out her identity and there's something affirming about the way her relationships with them are vs the relationships she had with humans in Riverbend.

And also through Imtura + in shops on Flotilla she gets the chance to try on more feminine clothes that fit her frame and that way she gets to figure out her style more and does start branching out with clothes.

Because of the whole 'male orcs can get pregnant too'-thing I imagine the orcs all have like basically the same genitals and the difference between male and female orcs are secondary sex characteristics + some subtle differences that are present from birth (like horn color or something?). And humans aren’t widely educated on how to determine the sex of young orcs. (And even get it wrong often for adult orcs if they don’t present in a way that makes it easy to tell for humans)

When Rex and Kade were found, there were no other orcs that lived in Riverbend and so Rex’ parents just guessed she was a boy and decided to raise her like that. I imagine humans also just kinda view orcs as inherently more masculine so I think the thought process was also sorta like a boy would fit better or make her feel a little less like an outcast in the future? It was always sorta approached as like ‘Rex might feel differently in the future though’, and was sat down at around age 10 by her adoptive mom and was basically told ‘This is what we did when we found you but you get to decide what you are + the way your body changes the coming years might not match what you expect based off other boys’ and Rex was like ‘Ok.. I'm gonna throw big rocks into the lake now.’ (This feels so funny because it feels v like   modern accepting mom but I just didn’t really wanna go with anything like    she was also forced into being a manly man or whatever and it doesn’t feel v out of place because people seem chill with queer relationships in universe too)

As a child Rex was ‘a typical boy’ in a lot of ways, but she also really enjoyed playing with dolls and taking up feminine roles when playing pretend with other kids and stuff like that. 

I think due to being an orc she was at times perceived as more masculine than she really is? Like orcs just possessing a lot of qualities that are considered masculine by humans. (Like I always imagine a lot of humans would consider Imtura masculine while other orcs think she's pretty feminine) Rex never cared about being perceived as a man, like she’s just indifferent about it. Never like  let anything hold her back because it would make her seem effeminate or something like that. She also always felt more similar to tomboys than to boys.

When Rex went thru puberty and started getting a lot bigger she got real popular with The Girls and some boys in the village (attention she enjoyed lol). I think partly inspired by her girlfriends she also started experimenting more with her appearance, growing her hair out, wearing make-up and wearing jewelry whenever she wasn’t working. 

I think especially once she had long hair travelers passing through town would sometimes mistake her for a woman rather than a guy like everyone in town. Which she found she didn’t mind, she actually liked it. Felt important tho she doesn’t really understand why. Thinks it over for a while and basically decides to tell those closest to her that she figured out that she enjoys being referred to as a woman but also that she’s pretty indifferent about it all so like ‘do with that info what you want’. 

She insists that she’s still Kade’s brother tho, like she doesn’t want that to change. Kade often introduces her to new people like ‘This is my brother, her name is Rex.’ Rex doesn’t like turning it into a big deal or having a whole convo about gender, she’s always like  'dw about it, just be respectful'. She didn’t really start dressing differently after ‘coming out’. Genuinely doesn’t care about how people gender her or whatever, all that was important to her was that those closest to her knew. 

So that’s where she’s at when the story starts, like I’m not sure if it really ended up changing much after. I think Imtura (and Tyril) influenced it more in a way of like, Rex experiencing her first relationships after figuring herself out more + having relationships where she wasn’t expected to be ‘the man’ or whatever. And I think there was something affirming about that I guess? But also that feels like kinda one of those things where gender and being an orc intersect or sth?

I still haven’t really made up my mind about the whole orcs + gender stuff, especially because I’m planning to replay the series soon and will catch up with the lore then lol. I wish I had more to say haha 😭.

I was gonna start rambling about my ideas n shit so far but then I started rly derailing because it’s not really about Rex anymore, so I’ll leave it for another post, perhaps once I’ve replayed the books. Like when I try rn I find myself going back n forth a lot like ‘oh but that makes no sense, why would they do this or that? why would they be like that though..’ 

I honestly don’t think it’ll change anything for Rex though, like she’s already done all the self discovery when it comes to gender when she lived in Riverbend (tho I definitely think it would've been interesting if it hadn't been that way LOL but yeah). And it’s more gonna be like   general culture stuff that’s gonna have her feel all sorts of ways (identity crisis, disappointment that she still feels like an outcast, shame that she’s an orc but feels like she doesn’t know how to be an orc, the whole ‘human in an orc body’-thing but also healing + connecting to people she’s biologically related to who can tell her about her mom)

I think through Imtura letting her try on clothes + in shops on Flotilla Rex gets to try on more feminine clothes that fit her frame for the first time ever and that’s how she starts figuring out/expanding her style more. Like I always imagined her mom offering to make her a dress, but Rex declining because she’s not sure if she’ll like it and then all that time and fabric would’ve been wasted. I think Rex especially loves dresses and stuff for like special occasions, like the circumstances aside, she’s excited to dress up for that ball in undermount and there’s definitely something gender affirming about it.

[rotisseries]

so we're now on 6A finale. the episode opens with the canera walking us down the hallway where theo and the ghost riders were snd leading us towards the elevator. i think thr elevator broke down or something or thr poeer shut because the lights are flickering like crazy and it shows liam having to claw and force his way out of it. he stumbles into thr hall and also we can see that theres nothing there. no theo no ghost riders. completrly empty and quiet. idk how long its been. IIIIII WANT TO ITERATE THAT I THINK LIAM THINKS THEO'S BEEN TAKEN. HE WALKED DOWN THE HALL AND THEN REACHED THE END HE BACK TRACKED AND LOOKED BACK DOWN THE HALL WITH A SOLEMN FACE. and then gets distracted with some plot details. wouldnt it have been fucked up if liam remembered theo and he never came back. lemme stop. anyway basically, for simplicity, the town is becoming another stop on the ghost train. its morphing into a ghost town. some stuff. anyway liam figures out that they cant move between worlds but corey can abd he can take people with him and blah blah liam says the only way to save everyone is to divert the train , corey is the key , and then stiles ans scott are like ??? how exactly are you gonna do that? and liam is like "gonna sneak into the hunt🫡" and stiles goes ummm i think youre confused... anyway. liam starts RUNNING. dude is FAST HE STARTS BOOKING IT. "I'll BE BACK!!" he runs up the stairs to the school and hes on the balcony and sees a ghost riders horse from up top and then THE BLESSED MOMENT he starts to climb over the rail when a ghost rider pulls him back and chokes him but THEO SHOES UP THE THE RESCUE COVERED IN DIRT LEAVES AND SCRATCHES . LITERALLT HIS SHIRT IN TORN UP. he saves liam and liam scrambles away while theo deals with the ghost rider (putting it in a chokehold instead) liam goes "HEY YOU MADE IT OUT!" and theo goes "yeah barely. whats the plan?!" "uhhhhh steal the horse to get into the hunt" THEO GOES "Youre kidding right??? i went through all this to keep you from being taken" who swooned??? i swooned. anyway liam was getting concerned at the struggle theo was putting up but that's prob bc his attention was divided anyway he says "do you need a hand.??" and theo goes "im good" snaps the fucking ghost riders neck and yells at liam "Then go already! Go!" and liam jumps on a horse. 😭😭 theo finishes up with the ghost rider and walks over to the balcony railing to see liam going in circles with the horse. he yells down "do you know how to ride a horse??!" "not really!!" theo smiles at him. lovesick i believe.

this was not little. gn tho. and to everyone who reads these

I'm pretty sure the only other person actually reading these is gloomy maybe

[lambotel]

hey! i don't mean to sound rude but i have a few questions ❤️ so i know you have a lot of dolls but i just wanted to ask how did you start your collection and why? are your dolls haunted? where are they from? how much were they? and do you buy them yourself or are they gifts? not that i want you to tell me your whole life story i'm just curious and have asked others similar questions! ❤️

hi lol, its ok. and idk how to answer any of this but i will try. already struggling w the first one, dont know how or why. i have always been used to my dad gifting me and my sister cars because he would rather get me, her and my brother the same gifts and always went with what was more boy-ish for whatever reason. always made us match clothes and everything, everything was almost the same, so it's crazy how we eventually did grow up to have different interests etc. mine became colelcting antique dolls because one day my dad just boguht a really big beautiful porcelain doll home (when i say big, not extremely big, just bigger than the others) for me. and he wanted /me/ to have it. part of. me believes he did it randomly but out of love, while the lther part of me believes he was guilty and upset when he saw how jealous i was seeing everyone have dolls that can literally sing. he never wanted to make me feel singled out in things or different from others, even though i was, and even though he was terrible in some doings- this was kind, and special. like a way to see i didnt need a singing stupid doll when i can have a very old antique one WITH the letter of authenticity.

growing up i noticed similar looking dolls in the charity shops i went to, they were expensive but also not cheap. i used to get bulloed really bad in highschool and college (yes, in college too lol), i had no friends and spent most of my days with my mum because my dad always worked. me and my mum always went to charity shops because the clothes and house stuff was just way cheaper. i dont want to say they let me buy what i want out of pity, but i know they were always trying to get me back on my feet again - thats the thing with asian, immigrant parents. never being able to tell you words of affirmations, but always somehow showing it in their actions. my mum knew i would look at a doll or two here and then, she always picked it up without asking or saying anything. brushing its hairs and putting it on my shelf for me and organising my books too. my mum bought me all the books sitting on my bookshelf rn.

if you want to start your own collection, i think you should start looking in charity shops or antique stores. a lot of old people, or family members of old people, dump their stuff there all the time. i have many memorable items from charity shops that aren't just dolls. they're worth a look. and dont worry about not getting an authenticity certificate - if you are bothered, you can always describe your doll online, however some antique sites (?) will ask you to pay in order for you to get info from them. so be careful. you can always ask straight from the person youre buying, if you look on places like depop or etsy, but who knows they might be lying lmao. i personally wouldnt care too much about it. i just am informative on it because my first doll came with it, i was hyper fixated on it for ages.

i hope this answered everything. i might delete this later if i decide to feel like i have over-shared on this platform.

[downfallofi]

That doesn't sound bad. That's only disappointing if it disappoints you. What kind of stuff do you tend to sketch if I may ask? Also might've been low key seeing if you play video games that I could invite you to play.

Ah, you know, thank you for this. 🥹 they are my hobbies, and I need to learn not to minimize them or apologize for liking them. (Old habits, it comes with growing up the way I did and being told that liking comic books and Star Wars and "living in a fantasy world" was making me weak) But yeah I mean. It's not disappointing to like reading, or art, or video games, nor does it make someone a loser.

(I need to remember that)

I love to draw all kinds of things, I have a sketchpad filled with stuff from reference/still life, I like practicing drawing flowers, I actually sometimes like drawing smut/ shibari and if I ever actually posted that online I'd tag the models I referenced... not even in a horny way but there's something wonderful I find in shibari or fetish stuff artists that they challenge you, in drawing in a pen and ink medium, to workshop how you adapt poses, musculature, lighting, all that stuff.

And I have a lot of superheroes.

When I was a kid, all the way up to about 17, I wanted to be a graphic novelist, make my own comics that were like just my teenaged brain firing off ideas I'd sponged up from a lot of X-Men and a LOT of Toonami. I didnt go on to become a comics artist, in fact, due to being discouraged by my dad and others (...but, well, my dad) I sort of came to the conclusion it was childish ("cute lil cartoons," they were derisively called) and let my gift atrophy. I drew nothing.

So in coming back to it, slowly over the last... ten years? Ive gotten back in to art.

It's not the same as it was. Sadly, it can't be, that fire I had when I was young was well. Stomped out.

So I cant make panels, and I struggle with transition and movement from one panel to the next to make a story flow, and sometimes it feels like I draw OTHER people's heroes like Spider-Man like I'm a fucking cover band at a dive bar playing KISS.

But I've still worked on it, and grown a lot over those last ten years, and found a peace in it that yeah, idk, maybe it isnt what I wanted to be when I was young but it's still art, dammit.

So yeah, sorry. Im wordy and it was complicated to answer but you kind of put a dime in and got me talking about it so. My sketchbook has lots of microliner ink drawing, some flowers and still life, some smut, some X-Men cover band stuff, just stuff I want to challenge myself to draw.

I'm also determined to experiment more with color like my copic markers this year so.

Video games I play are really a lot of single player open world stuff, Im currently grinding on um.

...fallout4 OKAY DONT JUDGE ME, I am of the specific brand of gamer that finds some peace and comfort in going back to Skyrim and Fallout from time to time...

I would love to get in to games with other people but I wouldnt know where to start, or what to pick up, frankly, but that is a kind offer and one I'd be interested in maybe perhaps at some point

I take it back... I did have a coop farm in Stardew Valley I played sorta multiplayer with my friend from CO but... our friendship sort of died off and we dont Stardew together anymore... fuck Im sad now.

Sincerely, thank you for the asks and the kindness and if you made it through reading ALL of that shit you are a fucking G and I respect and love you so much

[haven-gum-rockrose]

tell us about riz (ask game)

RIZ RIZ RIZ BET

first impression: oh this boy has so much frantic energy omg and cares so much about this penny girl he tries so hard, hes completely not sleeping to find his only friend...... Fuck I'm gonna end up kinning this guy, aren't I. And then it just kept going

impression now: ...... he cares. so. much. i care so much. its everything and he is everything to me- i actually dont know how to express it. he's like- holy. literally, he works for heaven now. but thats not important, he is.

Favorite moment....... fuck.... hmm... god i really like his interactions with Kalina. it could be "hiss at her, litigator!" followed by him hissing in court, but thats more a fig thing so.... while its not necessarily the moment, i like what it came to mean for his character. Him stuck in the palimpsest at the arcade, having lost to Penny's game, cutting his hands digging through the crystals, simply because that is so often referred back to

HONORABLE MENTIONS BECAUSE HES MY LITTLE GUY AND FUCK IT WE BALL: "i'm really gonna spiral here" after getting his own private office to do pi shit in, him suggesting "we can throw rocks in the river" as a hangout option because his only experience with what hangouts are like comes from violent productive adventuring and also noir mystery films/books/games, Riz inventinting the Night Yorb because he couldnt just relax. HIM TALKING TO HIS MOM ABOUT LIKE- IDFK WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF OR HOW TO INTERACT WITH MY FRIENDS IF THERES NOT A PROBLEM I CAN SOLVE- like shoot me with a fucking gun why dont you- uhhhhhh... "its just a metal tube. i think its beautiful *and then i do a little dance*" ..... theres a lot imma shut up

Story idea....... shit- him hanging out with the seven. please. idk, im very content with my- WAIT NO i wouldnt write about him, but any fanfic where he interacts with jawbone(like as the guidance counselor, not as the dad of most of his friends) - head in hands-

unpopular opinion: shipping fabriz is fine. like i dont like it and any ship stuff for them i read(which i do read) i am personally interpreting as platonic cuz im really good at that, or unrequited. i know a lot of people get pressed about it cuz aroace erasure which yeah if youre changing him to demi thats a bit- or if its one of those "Pok was right, he might just be a late bloomer, lol theyre aged up and actually riz finds out he's pan lololol" thats a bit - like please stop. but if hes dating the guy as an aroace person or theyre qpring. whats the big deal. i know riz doesnt want a relationship and all but - that the point of shipping? like i know for some people its uncomfy especially with how its the most popular d20 ship(at least based on ao3), but to me its like- shipping is literally pushing together characters and its always purely self indulgent??? like ship whoever you want as long as he stays aroace. anyways i didnt need to justify myself and show both arguements like that. none of you know this guy. except two people hi eni and aether

favorite relatioship: ..... LISTEN IGNORE EVERYTHING I JUST SAID. FABIAN AND RIZ THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS FABIAN SEACASTER AND THE FUCKING BALL LIKE THEYVE COME SO FAR IN THEIR DYNAMIC ITS CHANGED SO MUCH - theyre so opposites theyre everything theyre everything THEY SHOULDNT BE FRIENDS! AND THEYRE NOT!! THEYRE BEST FRIENDS!!!! AUGH!!!

favorite headcanon: autistic and anxious...... uh..... my brain is very gone... i think he still has like a bunch of different friendship bracelets from Penny that he keeps in like little collectors cases. ALSO I DONT THINK SHE EVER GAVE THEM TO HIM I THINK THEY WOULD JUST LIKE APPEAR ON HIS WRIST SHE WAS SLEIGHT OF HANDING THOSE SHITS ONETO HIS WRISTS BECAUSE HE COMPLAINED IT DIDNT MATCH HIS AESTHETIC AND THEN SHED LEAVE AND HE BE LIKE- im gonna frame this and put in on my wall.... but like as in in a false bottom in a drawer so its cooler

[akilliosacheron]

Can you talk about the original three talkers? Trevino and Kennedy and TyVi?

oh, you know i can.

kennedy and trevino have this really connected lore for me. they went to the same school all throughout life and trevino was the one friend that kennedy ever picked that their parents didnt despise, so kennedy sort of clung to him really tightly for a very long time. so those two have this huge thing where theyre really good at reading eachother, to the point where they had a crush of some sort on eachother and never did anything about it.

Kennedy & Trev met Tyvi first when at least Kennedy was 16 and had just gotten their first car, they drove to this random backwater town a province over and met tyvi and ziwa, your 'i hate my parents and i hate this town!' type of teenagers, and ended up hanging out with them for the day.

they all sort of forget about that until later, in most cases they remember meeting properly at some random blaseball game years later when kennedy was sort of scouting for potential talent. most of the talkers s1 roster feels like people who just stumbled across recruitment for the team and joined except for tyvi and maybe bates to me, maybe also ogjenkins. i wouldnt put it past kennedy to try to make things as official looking as possible.

trevino is an architect. ive mentioned it a few times but i think its a real fun concept. he specializes in underwater structures and is really good stabilizing and developing buildings meant to be partially underwater. I think trevino would have been good friends with the Leviathan and a big fan of the Underarena if he had been on the team for longer. Even though he's a timid guy i think he would have loved the structural nonsense in the Underarena. Kennedy and Tyvi dont know jack about architecture but they absolutely love to hear trevino talk about it because he gets very passionate and opinionated and rarely does he get like that.

Tyvi ive always thought of not being able to touch people who didnt have poison, so they became friends with ziwa because they were literally the only friend option in their little town or whatever but theyre the kind of people who should have been friends anyway so its all good. tyvi is prickly physically and it sort of made them prickly with other people, in a sense, because theyre really affectionate without realizing sometimes and they didnt want to hurt someone again so they figured it was easier to keep a distance from most people who would get hurt. They have some form of medication that deactivates their poison that they take in tense scenarios when they might need to lend physical aid like when trevino was incinerated oops

Kennedy is probably immune to Tyvi's poison, but they never risked it. Kennedy is super fun for me to think about because they have so much potential nonsense going on. flootball star that retired to play blaseball at the height of their career. has a child. started a whole blaseball team. is a shapeshifter that doesnt ever shapeshift. married a prehistory player and due to Book Schenanigans forgot all about them. in love with their best friend. hotheaded goofball but tries to convince everyone theyre professional about everything. theyre so augh. love em

tyvi being captain is fun dynamic wise because theyre probably the middle point between trevino and kennedy. kennedy can be super forceful and trevino can be a pushover. Tyvi is a good captain because they manage to balance in the middle of both of those things. the more i think about tyvi the more and more they are a middle point between kennedy and trevino and stuff like that is fun. i like thinking about them in the hall because its Free Real EstateTM for bonding time. what else are you gonna do? might as well hsve bonding time. also youre dead so why would tyvi's poison work??? tyvi hugging trevino addiction real. trevino is a good soft boy he deserves to be hugged.

thats my basics i think? maybe? in no particular order? idk i just sort of rambled thats what this is all about right /j

[westmansion]

tagged by @mattibee !! thank u!

Are you named after anyone?

dont think so mom just liked my name, i was going to be named Romana (after the dr who character lol, it was dads idea) but that name went to a cat instead

When was the last time you cried?

Do you have kids?

no but its for the best i think

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

at work sometimes but otherwise i dont think so

What sports do you play/have you played?

outside of PE i played soccer for a bit, i would still love to take up volleyball but im not athletic outside of running rip, i regret not doing too much in college

What's the first thing you notice about other people?

probably outfits, if your shirt is cool i will look and im sorry

Eye colour?

brown

Scary movies or happy endings?

im so soso so so scared all the time forever of scary movies so i dont watch many but im really trying to, my happy ending is "watching" scary movies via their wikis lol

Any special talents?

world record for getting scared for trying to get into horror media as stated above, also world record for becoming obsessed with a game ive only learned about last week

Where were you born?

What are your hobbies?

wuuuugh im not sure anymore, i dont draw as much and videogames are still there but idk, (against my will) i collect figures/art books/hot wheels cars/keychains and i fight 3632828329 wars with CSS everyday and i dink around making music

Do you have any pets?

2 cats, kermit and romaine :) look at them

How tall are you?

5'3" last time i checked

Fave subject in school?

im gonna have to say lit because i wouldnt mind reading the classics or whatever else, its the papers i hated because i get the point but i cant put it in words rip

in college i really loved my storyboarding class, the graphic design classes, and the coding class but coding will be my downfall

Dream job?

i want to archive stuff sooooo bad i just need a good scanner and more harddrives, dont know if thats a job especially now but thats all i wanna dooooo i have things to share!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'll tag @sidetable-drawer since you've tagged me once before :D also i'll tag @happiighost @trick-starr @wickedcr0w @housedurendaire if you wanna!

[onlysushicat]

Wanted to add the thought I had while I drew this the other day

I imagine the scenario being like them both playing a game and Karkat talks about getting intimate/talk about their bodies(I suck SO MUCH at writing but I did my best) but yeah, nsfw under the cut :3 dudes be looking at each others stuff under their pants

Both of them would be around 19 or 20yo, started dating years after the game ended if we imagine all this connected to the comic etcetcetc. If not then this could work in any AU where trolls and humans live together idc

.

K: You know we've been dating for almost a year now

D: yes, still amazed about it

K: Like, we kiss sometimes and sleep in your bed after we spend the whole day together

D: what about it?

K: ..no its nothing, keep playing

D: dude if youre trying to highlight something this way, youre doing it wrong cause im not understanding you

.

Awkward moment, then Dave suggets that maaaybe they are thinking the same thing but he preferred to avoid the topic and wait until Karkat was ready to discuss it. Karkat focuses on the game and doesn't talk back, then Dave starts

.

D: its not necessary i mean, its ok if it never happens youknow. i dont mind livin a life without wetting the biscuit, looking at gods face, putting the plug into the socket

K: Shut up for fucks sake, Im curious because there is not a single book or movie about humans naked bodies in this lame ass world and I actually want to enjoy a new private activity with my boyfriend [he accepted the boyfriend title because matesprite would mean he puts Dave in a quarter of relationships yadda yadda you know the usual] , unlike YOU who seems uninterested in it avoiding as if touching me would give you a deathly illness. At least I would enjoy talking about our own bodies but not even that happens

D: what the FUCK was that about, im not a mind reader how did you expect me to know u wanted this with me now

D: and i did imagine what you look like but im no pervert man i wouldnt ask about your body just because i thought about it sometimes

.

After some small discussion things calm down, Dave suggets playing a game and whoever wins gets to show his parts first to the other. Winner provides some information before showing to avoid weird questions. Karkat almost rejects the idea but accepts because its the best option at the moment and Dave seems actually interested.

Dave gets distracted while imagining a bunch of gay shit and loses, maybe a racing game??? Idk, but anyway Karkat won. Curses in a whisper and goes to sit on the bed while Dave watches him in silence while following him slowly, sitting in front of him.

They are face to face, none of them talking, Karkat tries to explain to Dave what to expect but hes way too nervous and uncomfortable now that they made a whole mood just for the "reveal". To try and relax him Dave says they could make out as usual.

.

K: Thats just an excuse to kiss me, right?

D: maybe but it could also work

K: I guess, in the movies the main couple always start with a kiss session before the scene gets intimate and people start to show more than I agreed to watch

.

They get to the kisses smooches etc, shades come off, kisses become bites, and then the "reveal" start to happen. Karkat explains a little bit of what Dave is seeing, him ending up with his eyes staring like his life depends on it. Dude got lost in the junk

.

K: Stop with that stare

D:

K: Dave

D: what, what did i do

K: Youre staring too much

D: Karkat you got an entire museum of art there and i feel i could get every answer in the universe if i keep staring

K: Cant you get serious for once, Im literally showing you my genitals for the first time

D: what did you expect? you want me to touch it right away?

K: wha

D: what

K: DONT touch it right know its very sensitive, and if you really want to do it at least wait until my bulge gets out

D: your what

K: you dont know what a bulge is, dipshit?

D: how the fuck would i know, youre an alien dude

K: then what do you have down there?

D: oh you sound so desperate now you should listen to yourself

K: FUCK OFF IM CLOSING MY LEGS NOW

D: I WAS KIDDING, DONT BLUE BALL ME NOW

D: fine ill show you but dont laugh, right now is not at his full size and extent. not at his prime you know

K: it grows? Like, a plant?

D: just dont laugh thats all i ask for

.

Thats all I got for now because I dont think they would have sex right away. Maybe the 2nd time it happens lol

Dave's reveal of his dick I can write some other day if you actually think my writing is ACCEPTABLE/OKAY/FINE FOR A FIRST TIME NSFW WRITER

Ps: Im not a good writer at Dave and Karkats chatting because to me they write/talk like common dudes with a little bit of shortened words, some long ass sentenses and insults from time to time

BE NICE 👉👈

[thisisegregiouuuus]

bro 😻

its actually so insane how i used to be so obsessed w the shining. like looking back on all that i was litereally going crazy--and like my interests/phases only last like a week or so but damn that one alsted like 2 months or smth, i thought it would never end so i was kinda surprise when i watched it for like the 5th time or something and i went 'damn...this is getting kinda old'

i genuinely felt sad tho. it always feels kinda sad falling out of a phase/interest kinda thing, especially one youve liked for a while. like with the shining its fine bc i know i still like it but it was just a crazy 2 month-phase, now i still like it but like, in a normal, non-crazed kinda way lmao, like im not silently talking to myself in my head abt the shining and begging for someone, anyone to talk to me abt the shining, i was legit on the brink of madness, i couldt contain myself thats how much i loved it lmao

anyway. for now its not compeltley lost, i still do like it, but idk, the last time i watched it i could jsut tell i wasnt as interested as the previous times, and thats when i was like 'damn it, this is it ig' and it was super sad. it felt like a big loss, but then again im happy i got out of it, like i said. maybe it was for the better! now i gotta find smth else to occupy me and my attention for the next couple of weeks or ill go insane!!!

this whole the shining phase ended like 2 or 3 months ago or smth. now im jsut mucking around. ive been watching th eoffice over and over again bc yeah i do love it but liek theres literally nothing else to occupy my attention with. and i feel kinda bad saying that, like i feel stupid saying i need smth to constantly be keeping my attention or like keeping me entertained, but like otherwise i just feel like i have no meaning or purpose or anything to keep me going, and i need smth! im not depressed or anything tho i swear 🙏

anyway I LOVE THE CATCHER IN THE RYE!!!! in history today my favourite book of all time was like very briefly mentioned and i wanted to explode when i saw it, i so badly wanted to mention it but there was no way id do it in front of anyone so yeah. holden caulfield is fr me, or he was most like year last year when i was like so alone at school and hated everybody. i still dont like most people but its not as bad as it used to be

anyway i feel really stupid writing this whole thing, idkw, but yeah, for now idk what ill do. i am going in an out of different writing projects/little stories that ive made up but i can never commit to just one thing. i am going back to my main project tho, and im really happy for once because im just writing. im not worrying about what other people might think (even tho i literally dont show it to anyone i legit just write for myself i jsut get rlly stupid sometimes,) im honestly just having fun and writing what i like, and i think thats what writings all about. its not about proving yourself to anyone or trying to impress anyone, or trying to make yourself seem all big and idk intellectual and all smartsy fartsy and stuff. its litereally just to express yourself and have fun and put all your amazing ideas down onto paper, i love writing so much, especially when i dont convince myself that my writing is shit and tell myself that it's not good enough and if people were to see it they wouldnt be as impressed as i want them to be

but anyways, thats all! its been a while since ive been on here so yeah. i know no one relaly sees these but theyre still fun to write. i just like expressing myself, i feel like im honestly kind of better off if no one sees these. like it would be nice to have like a tiny little community or some friends on here or smth since tbh even tho ive been on here for like a year and a half i still dont rlly fully understand how this app works </3 im just here for fun! so anyway

thats all folks! ski you later everybody! 😼

(sidenote, yes ik i dont know how to spell 'literally' i keep messing it up😻)

[dreambook06]



Dream from: May 25, 2017

on march 3 i had the most bizarre dream involving our old house. i kept putting off writing it down because i was too “lazy” so i forgot most of it by now but i still retain fragments and will now try to write them down… it gets bad weird so probably dont read this lol

so it was kinda felt like the 2016 trip to the old neighborhood… but dreamlike and out of reality… so we were going to see if the new oowners of the house were home and we walked up the porch and a man answere dm the door? and then my mom who wasnt really like my mom yet it was idk… asked can we please come inside and look around the house? we’re the original owners from when it was first built… -something like that, but she said it really awkwardly and it was really odd like she kept pausing and stumbling on words…. like the words wouldnt come out so i or someon

e took over and asked the man if we could come inside…. he said yes and right as soon as you went in the door it was the living room which isnt true to real life and there were like 6 people ,adults, sitting around on maroon-ish leather furniture like couches and the fireplace was still there! i think the room was a different color? and it was some kind of gathering whatever … etc etc forgettingg….. then we wanted to look aroiund the other rooms and  he was kind of showing us around etc. dont remember stuff……………….. later the dream felt different & people changed (i dont remember my family being there at all … i think they left & went to a coffee shop thing i dont f r eaking know) then the man showed me upstairs to my old bedroom OMG it was to the left up the stairs just where it always was… but… it was so different…… it was huge! and the closet was tall and narrow and only went back a little bit and inside was this detailed crazy i-spy esque display that was like a mini world with beads hanging like a curtain and little toy figures and objects everywhere and it was really small though once i stuck my head inside, only my head could fit through the opening. i stuck my head inside the closet because i wanted to see if the secret message my dad had written on the back wall right before we moved was still there… i craned my neck upwards but stuff wa in the way and i knocked stuff over and hit my head kind of hard and it felt like it really hit my head… i couldnt see the message. i puled my head out …etc. other stuff happens i dont remember…. the re is a girl in there like around age 9 idk… who is the new owner of the bedroom and she’s changed it up i think but at the same time in another half of the dream / my mind it looks the same only it’s all deteriorated with ripped up carpet and paint peeling off the wall… anyway the girl in there had lots of stuff idk if i ever saw her but she had like a stack of books and old toys and posters on the wall and on the slanted side wall & stuff idont know!!!!!! too vague… like she’d made it all roomy and it made me sad like i dont own this place anymore its not mine and never will be again…etc.etc.etc. then we were going to leave eventually but i needed to stay longer,,,, i wanted to get photos of the place(my bedroom) before i left it, possibly forever! so i had my camera but i hd to go get it? ten i came back and i had my camera and  the man said i needed to do something if i want to keep staying at the house , there is a price to getting to go upstairs and take photos as i please. he said i had to have s*x with him and i was so desperate to go back to go back to my room that i had to and i dont remember it happening in my dream but i remember the leading up to it & it felt real & i was kind of getting excited & i was half aware that it was just a fake dream at that point somehow so i didnt really care about anything that was going on because i half felt it wasn’t real anyway… anyway we were fully clothed the whole time and so it was just s*xual stuff but never physical s** . KWIM? .. at least that is what i remember i may not be remembering clearly. it was a dream. anyway then i got to freking go to the bedroom then. i took hundreds pictures of every crack and crevice of the place, even the carpet, in the bedroom, from all different angles, just in case it is gone forevr…i was getting anxious that the camera would run out of space or battery the whole time…then i think the right side of the room wall ripped open to the outside and it was like crumbling like deteriorating - the whole room falling apart… thats all i remember unless i care to access deeper into my head which gives me a headache



Dream from: May 25, 2017

on march 3 i had the most bizarre dream involving our old house. i kept putting off writing it down because i was too “lazy” so i forgot most of it by now but i still retain fragments and will now try to write them down… it gets bad weird so probably dont read this lol



Dream from: May 25, 2017

on march 3 i had the most bizarre dream involving our old house. i kept putting off writing it down because i was too “lazy” so i forgot most of it by now but i still retain fragments and will now try to write them down… it gets bad weird so probably dont read this lol

so it was kinda felt like the 2016 trip to the old neighborhood… but dreamlike and out of reality… so we were going to see if the new oowners of the house were home and we walked up the porch and a man answere dm the door? and then my mom who wasnt really like my mom yet it was idk… asked can we please come inside and look around the house? we’re the original owners from when it was first built… -something like that, but she said it really awkwardly and it was really odd like she kept pausing and stumbling on words…. like the words wouldnt come out so i or someone took over and asked the man if we could come inside…. he said yes and right as soon as you went in the door it was the living room which isnt true to real life and there were like 6 people ,adults, sitting around on maroon-ish leather furniture like couches and the fireplace was still there! i think the room was a different color? and it was some kind of gathering whatever … etc etc forgettingg….. then we wanted to look aroiund the other rooms and  he was kind of showing us around etc. dont remember stuff………………..

later the dream felt different & people changed (i dont remember my family being there at all … i think they left & went to a coffee shop thing i dont f r eaking know) then the man showed me upstairs to my old bedroom OMG it was to the left up the stairs just where it always was… but… it was so different…… it was huge! and the closet was tall and narrow and only went back a little bit and inside was this detailed crazy i-spy esque display that was like a mini world with beads hanging like a curtain and little toy figures and objects everywhere and it was really small though once i stuck my head inside, only my head could fit through the opening. i stuck my head inside the closet because i wanted to see if the secret message my dad had written on the back wall right before we moved was still there… i craned my neck upwards but stuff wa in the way and i knocked stuff over and hit my head kind of hard and it felt like it really hit my head… i couldnt see the message. i puled my head out …etc. other stuff happens i dont remember…. the re is a girl in there like around age 9 idk… who is the new owner of the bedroom and she’s changed it up i think but at the same time in another half of the dream / my mind it looks the same only it’s all deteriorated with ripped up carpet and paint peeling off the wall… anyway the girl in there had lots of stuff idk if i ever saw her but she had like a stack of books and old toys and posters on the wall and on the slanted side wall & stuff idont know!!!!!! too vague… like she’d made it all roomy and it made me sad like i dont own this place anymore its not mine and never will be again…etc.etc.etc. then we were going to leave eventually but i needed to stay longer,,,, i wanted to get photos of the place(my bedroom) before i left it, possibly forever! so i had my camera but i hd to go get it? ten i came back and i had my camera and  the man said i needed to do something if i want to keep staying at the house , there is a price to getting to go upstairs and take photos as i please. he said i had to have s*x with him and i was so desperate to go back to go back to my room that i had to and i dont remember it happening in my dream but i remember the leading up to it & it felt real & i was kind of getting excited & i was half aware that it was just a fake dream at that point somehow so i didnt really care about anything that was going on because i half felt it wasn’t real anyway… anyway we were fully clothed the whole time and so it was just s*xual stuff but never physical s** . KWIM? .. at least that is what i remember i may not be remembering clearly. it was a dream. anyway then i got to freking go to the bedroom then. i took hundreds pictures of every crack and crevice of the place, even the carpet, in the bedroom, from all different angles, just in case it is gone forevr…i was getting anxious that the camera would run out of space or battery the whole time…then i think the right side of the room wall ripped open to the outside and it was like crumbling like deteriorating - the whole room falling apart… thats all i remember unless i care to access deeper into my head which gives me a headache

(it all was way more bizarre & more things happened than i’ve written because i just write the factual things not really the feeling things because its surreal and cant be put into words because it is specific dream feelings only i know) ..

(it all was way more bizarre & more things happened than i’ve written because i just write the factual things not really the feeling things because its surreal and cant be put into words because it is specific dream feelings only i know) ..

[phoenixfangs]

(to preface, for this post im going to use trans rep as my primary discussion example but i think this line of thought could be applied to basically any marginalized group)

honestly regarding that last reblog and the essay i left in the tags, i dont want to hear anyone praising anything for ‘good representation’ or condemning anything for ‘bad representation’ ever again i think.

firstly because people are so braindead that they cant meaningfully identify either good or bad representation. everything that i like is good and everything that i dont is bad. anything created by any trans person is good and anything created by any cis person is bad. everything that is kind and saccharine is good and everything that is angry and miserable is bad.

(seriously if i have to see one more take thats like ‘media that centers around trans suffering is bad and harmful because i dont like it and it makes me uncomfortable it turns trans suffering into a profitable spectacle, and besides being trans can be a good thing actually its not all about pain’, im going to bite somebody. im sorry that a) u dont understand that sometimes the intent of the media or stories like that is to hurt u and make u uncomfortable, b) u dont understand that someone expressing the pain they felt Because they are trans, and that they wouldnt have felt if they werent trans, is a valid form of art and self expression, and u have no right to condemn them because u dont personally connect with it, c) u dont understand that media doing the bare minimum of including a trans character who isnt hatecrimed against isnt ‘celebrating transness’ and can absolutely also be turning trans pride into a profitable spectacle, and d) that ur making all of this my fucking problem. it is not bad or morally incorrect to connect with and represent pain, especially at the hands of bigotry. my god.)

secondly because arguably it will never fucking matter anyway until society at large comes to terms with and moves past whatever -phobia or -ism we decide to center the discussion on that week.

‘good’ trans rep is never going to change a bigots mind or heart because their problem isnt that they just havent learned the error of their ways: their problem is that they hate an entire group of people on the basis that this group of people threatens their status as majority, moral correctness/worthiness, controller, group in power, whatever—whether this is materially true or a paranoid delusion. likewise, ‘good’ trans rep is never going to be enough for trans people to feel validated because of the way society has been marginalizing and oppressing trans people for longer than most of us here have even been alive, and continues to do so. it will feel nice in the moment, to see that people outside of urself and maybe even outside of ur marginalized group dont think of u as subhuman waste, but that feeling will not last forever as long as hate crimes and bigoted policy keep getting real life trans people hurt, jailed, and/or killed. idk about anyone else but nowadays its incredibly difficult for me to feel anything but contempt, dread, numbness, looking at ‘good’ trans rep while all that stuff is still happening on the daily in real life. its like a pathetic consolation prize for putting up with the horrors of existing, ‘thank u for buying our product despite what feels like most people wishing u were dead, heres this cool sticker to acknowledge ur existence and ur status as one of the ones who doesnt Deserve to be dead because ur buying our product’.

‘bad’ trans rep is never going to push an indecisive person over the fence into blatant transphobia because, to a bigot, ANY trans rep in ANYTHING for ANY REASON is ‘bad rep’. childrens books with the softest, cleanest language possible to describe trans experiences are treated like manifestos written to radicalize our good pure innocent children into horrible sexually depraved monsters. drag queens and trans people interacting with children AT ALL are demonized and called pedophiles just for existing in the same space as children. hospitals that provide safe and necessary treatment to trans people as ONE of the services they provide are issued bomb threats for daring to care about peoples health. the HINT of anything to do with being trans is a call for outrage. yeah, that transphobic caricature in that tv show really sucks to see, but its not turning people into transphobes: it is broadcasting the already material reality that transphobes think of us as subhuman waste, deserving of ridicule At Best and total extinction At Worst. a person who becomes a vocal bigot after being exposed to ‘bad’ rep wasnt an ally before that changed their mind, they were just quiet. what is the point of ‘educating’ people how to spot ‘bad’ rep and call it out if all it does is reaffirm to us that we know how to spot it and condemn? how many transphobes have said ‘i thought trans people were demons and pedophiles for the longest time, but then a random tumblr user wrote a scathing review of this random trans character and how they were a totally unrealistic and nasty depiction of a trans person, and it just opened my eyes to the fact that trans people are actually people, turns out’? when that number is larger than the number of transphobes who have said ‘i didnt really know what to think of trans people before tucker carlson and matt walsh told me they were molesting our childrens minds, but now i know theyre a threat to society’, get back with me.

like. im so fucking tired at this point. im obviously very angry and passionate about this, but im tired too. im tired of people constantly trying to say that society is getting better, trans people are becoming more welcomed in society, because of the handful of trans characters in media and the pride shirts and mugs and shit that u can buy in chain stores, while literal atrocities happen every. fucking. day. i cant be okay or happy with ‘good’ trans rep anymore because it matters so little in the context of how people on the whole view trans people, and i cant be upset with ‘bad’ trans rep anymore because its a symptom of hate and ignorance, not the cause.

i reiterate.

society and corporations are selling us pride through hollow ‘representation’ in media and slogans on mugs for the express purpose of keeping us from fighting to FEEL pride. and all the glorious spotless squeaky morally clean rep in the world will not account for the absolute loathing i have felt from every other direction for years, and the loathing everyone else has felt for decades, and the loathing were all gonna continue feeling for god knows how much longer until people and politicians stop actively trying to criminalize and kill us.

[tu-es-gegg]

Yeah at this point it's just a guess abt the roulettes and the black concrete being linked in, and yeah I do agree I kinda worded this heavy on the whole chaos thing when rn it's a bit disjointed (definitions of random and chaos being two related but different things)

my angle is trying to think how it threatens the feds and more specifically why the hell wouuld or would not the federation would even use a roulette wheel to begin with.

they fucking love order and the synonyms, they have a picture of the word hung on their wall like its live laugh love, they punish workers who arent acting as they should (they want to make the eccentric osito bimbo "perfect", imprisoning walter bob, punishing fred), they dont like it when things aren't perfect, in their neat little spaces where they should be

so like why the roulette? why employ something that doesnt have a concrete outcome, when its very clearly shown they just get straight to the point of what they want, even if it involves deciet its mostly just straight forward "i lie to you, hahaha, its all happy" (if someone is out of line they will just kindap you or punish you, if someone is digging too deep they put up a wall, when people say something is wrong, they just flat out tell lies to the islanders, its the sense of clinical professionalism they maintain)

census berueu dont beat around the bush in the sense they jump through hoops to make it SEEM they are good, they will jsut say they are good and reinforce it over and over like a PR team

but to gamble and play wiht addictions is about controlling perceptions without even noticing, its cathing people off guarded and feeding their addiction in the subtleys, from the instructions to the way the game appears, its welcoming to act as earnesty as it lures you in with tricks you dont see, its weird that it wouldnt be anti fed, and given the fact the directions to the maze were given by the black concrete structures that lead to the roulette, idk its sus to me that i have to at least consider a connection somewhere in there

i have thoughts, it might have something to do with teh old federation given the maze contains old fed information and was closed off by the federation until the timer went down

they have secrets in their that they sealed away until fred showed the pendejos, and the fact that included the roulette wheel is interesting, im rememberoing back to the old federation site that the jaidens first discovered, the fact its all blackstone bricks, all dark and shaded incontrast to the tundra white, it only had few white accents with grey stone floors, compare and contrast with the freezer room: stark white all the way like the new federation offices

might be a design choice cause yknow,, cold stuff is white cause it doesnt absorb heat and therefore is good to keep things cold

but then theres the that entry into the door room maze to the dice, the room just before was also stark white, contrast to the next room, fuily black walls and grey floors (ignore the cheerleader cucurucho)

the first part cant be the federations doing because of how casual the instructions on the book are:

this isnt federation talk, this is someone putting up earnest, so like theres a metaphor in there about the hidden past of the federation that used to be like this but then was covered up by this innate need of "perfection" and "order"

couple that between both carre and bagi's rescue missons: they involve a whole lot of black concrete and involve the wheel, somethings afoot here

(TO BE HONEST the closer thing to being kinda related to the roulette dice stuff is fucking lucky ducks, promise of reward and being able to try and try again later for a reward, feeding that need to try and take a chance on the probability you'll win, for lucky ducks at least you're kinda promised some good stuff it's the just the ratios of good bad things are off, the roulette and dice are kinda you win or lose thing

Rn most people who got picked to play are winning, it's a nicer game for them now tho some are still getting kicked, tho whatever that ticket leads after, if it has something to do with the "being tested and pushed beyond your limits" thing then hooooh boy they lost in their own way, idk)

Ohhhhhhh wait I get it now

White is for the federation, it's all about order, predictability, things being where they should and knowing that, when things are out of place the federation will force it to be the way they think it should be

The black concrete has led the islanders to two things, a roulette wheel and dice; all of which objects to represent are chaotic, completely based on luck of the draw. Random chance, you don't know what will happen or what you will get, the dice roll room has a book which is written completely unprofessionally, in stark contrast to the federation's clear, concise and formal wriitngs. The black concrete, whoever is responsible, is the antithesis of the federation completely

White is cold, unfeeling, clinical; it is of order

Black is lively, random, messy; it is of chaos

[queer-full-of-fear-18]

Ep8 really gave me goosebumps...I've been screaming for the past 5 min straight...

Let's start with YiDiao...holy shit..Diao went off on him!!! He really said that!! That entire fight was so satisfying to hear, both me and Diao are fed up!! I did aprechiate the date spot being a lil skate park and Yi teaching Diao - all of their scenes were great and really is pushing the edge on what this relationship is gonna progress to (further supported by some stuff said in the preview) very exited for this, MaxNat slaying as always

This ep really showcased the DiaoKuea and YiLian' friendships beautifully - finally a catching up with the cuties and gotta love bestie Diao reading Kuea like an open book and further supporting what Jay says previously - about Kuea overthinking and such.

This whole bit really showcases the deepness of Kuea's insecurities and how much tunner vision he has over it to the dismay of his poor friend Jay (Perth absolutely slayed this whole conversation, I was with u the whole time king😤) -loved how it showed how close they are as friends with Jay being absolutely done with Kuea's shit.

YiLian sometimes feel like besties or mf that are gonna bite eachother any minute. Yi barely says anything, talking most when trying to get back at Lian for his remarks - but in true bestie fashion Lian has all the right comebacks and is reading this MF to filth (much like Diao moments before) besties tell each other when their doing stupid shit and this is a great example of this.

Moving on to the way we started this ep (much like last how we ended and started) on a make out scene...y'all...first of all cinematography wise slapped I was ooglelig at the blue and orange of the lighting in the bed....but second the CONSENT AND COMMUNICATION bf all the steamenesss!!yes!!

This episode really showed each character's live language/way of showing love - Both Diao and Kuea are very verbal people that need and carve verbal approval and affection. Kuea needs to hear Lian say I love you (even so I swear Lian was saying stuff while they did shit👀) and Diao needs to hear what Yi feels about him. On the other hand, Lian and Yi are more physical people who show love through action and physical touch - with the unfortunate fact that both absolutely suck at verbal communication (the literally driving force for these two's relationship drama). Lian is slowly learning how to meet Kuea's needs with his heartfelt words on the couch; really proud of him as a character to address things and apologize for what he said to Kuea and even clear up their misunderstanding (the hug!!so comforting) but its clear the full capacity of his love is show by his actions thought all of his scenes, but putting in effort to speak more. Lian has seen that he's been huring Kuea all this time and is now learning to do better, yes character development!!!

Now, while I relate and appreciate Kuea's whole over thinking deal as a character flaw and something to drive the drama forward while making sense for his character - I do want to say that is very emotionally driven and just a hit odd? (Which is why I totally get Jay's whole frustration, like bro you both love each other chill out) but like..Kuea's whole fear is that his true self is unlovable and that when Lian "finds out the truth" he wont love him anymore (which fair to his insecurities and the like) but him being "suspicious" of the fact he's changed "so quickly" is kinda weird ? Idk why do u think he has ulterior motives in the first place? What would those even be? Also if I was Kuea I would be scared bc Kuea has been lying for like the past 2-3 years about his life,who wouldnt be atleast a bit upset when they find out??? He's not bc he already know but u get what I mean.

Loved Kuea finally remberingthr kiss BTW(loved the cut back to the car kiss,same positions and everything) and Lian saying he wanted Kuea to talk about it first clearing that up so quick? Love it.

We end a bit how we start: nice little night kiss with some domestuc vibes. I think Kuea not lying here about diner is really significant, not a huge thing, but a step in the right direction accounting his previous behavior (loved the lil spicy line to end it off)👀

Now on to what you all are waiting for (and if your not are we watching the same show?) LISTEN SYN AND NEUR YALL I need these two in a lead role RIGHT NOW holy shit dudes....first off loved Syn's whole begging scene we get a bit more insight into his life and character and I'm falling for him more bc of the way he denied every single like bad thing the woman said about her own son, mostly bc she brought it up to bring him up? What a king honestly

FUCKING Nuer with the smooth moves? He really said "I don't need anyone else just you" *screams* and both of their smile aftet he said that !! 😭😭😭Syn looking like a blushing highschool girl with that broom! So cute

And then Neur just getting all up in his personal space...the way these two look at eachothe BRO like I can't...I legit can't..and the the other scene were Neur recites a little mantra(I think thats what it is, like religious moral prayers) was just like...thus man went into the trouble of researching something he knows your passionate/intrested in and like made an effort to write it down and pronounce it (it being on a fucking post it just makes me imagine him in the library like writing down with a stupid smile on his face im-) literally can they just get married and adopt a dog please I love them.

And the class scene!! We all friends !! Loved the little drawings and how Neur immediately caught on Syn's jealousy and showed him the other drawings...their so cute FUCK

Side note kinda - no, I don't know what the fuck is happening with all this talk of papers and shit but I do know its probably a red hearing bc their is no way Lian is doing a this out of a place of malicious intent - ain't no way 🧐

Can't wait for the next ep, it seems the pace has picked up since were getting closer to the end now...YiDiao nation get ready...😭💀