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twotales · 1 year ago

Text

Jump

Chapter One: Lifeline

Read on AO3

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Characters: Radek Zelenka, Rodney McKay, John Sheppard, Ronon Dex, Teyla Emmagan, Chuck, Evan Lorne, Laura Cadman, Sam Carter, Bill Lee, More to add

Rating: T

Word Count: 1612

Tags: AU - Canon Divergence, Episode Rewrite

Note: I've labeled locations because of what happens in the actual episode. I may drop it after this chapter.

Summary:

Rodney swallowed thickly. They were dead in the water here. But this plan- Maybe it was too drastic. Too crazy.

No.

He steeled his resolve. This was their only viable option. "That-” Rodney pointed at the screen, “that would be the Replicator homeworld.”

Rodney turned toward them as hope bloomed over his face.

“You feel up to a heist?”

Location: Atlantis Gate Room

Oh. Of course. Rodney grinned inwardly as he snapped his fingers and turned toward John and Radek. “Experimental jumper." He looked between them. "Remember when I was zapped by that machine a few months ago, and I got, uh-” he flashed a smirk, “well, even smarter than I normally am?”

The corner of John’s mouth twitched up, “The one that almost killed you?” he shifted, “Yeah.”

Rodney waved his hand. “Well, before I was reset, I was very close to giving one of our puddle jumpers a hyperdrive.”

“Can you finish it?”

“Yeah!” He gulped and looked off to the side. “Yes, I probably can.”

John nodded. “All right, great. We-we'll make a jump to the Apollo. Tell them where we are.”

Rodney wagged a finger, “No.”

John’s face morphed in confusion. “Why no?”

“The jumper's hyperdrive would be limited,” Radek said. He shook his head and looked apologetic. “We wouldn't be able to jump that far.”

“How far then?” John said.

Rodney glanced at Radek a million thoughts flashing between them.

“What do you think,” Radek squinted, “like, two?”

Rodney rubbed his fingers together, “Yeah,” he leaned his head side to side, “two and change, maybe?”

Radek started typing on his computer, “Conservatively, maybe two thousand light years.” He sighed and pressed a few buttons, “This is a list of addresses that are within range.” Radek stood as the screen zoomed in on a map of planets with Stargates.

John nodded, “All right, we'll make a bunch of trips and ferry the crew to one of the planets.”

Rodney pointed a finger at him. “Again, no.”

“Why not?”

Rodney shifted around, “Well, the drive's never been tested.”

Radek nodded sadly. “Yeah, we'd be lucky if we get two jumps.” His lips compressed into a line.

“Well, we'll make a return trip somewhere,” John said.

Rodney stared at the map as an insane idea formed. “Yeah, ideally, somewhere with a few ZPMs to spare.” He waved his hand, “We come back, we get Atlantis fully powered.”

“Yeah," John made a face, "that'd be great.”

Rodney stared at Radek. Knowing the second the man picked up on his plan.

“M7R-227.” Radek said lowly.

John glanced between them, “What's that?”

Radek looked uncomfortable. “Well-”

John’s eyes locked onto Rodney. “There's a planet out there with ZPMs?”

The excitement drowned out his fear. “Yeah…yeah, we know they have a few ZPMs.”

John looked skeptical. “And who would that be?”

Rodney swallowed thickly. They were dead in the water here. But this plan- Maybe it was too drastic. Too crazy.

No.

He steeled his resolve. This was their only viable option. "That-” Rodney pointed at the screen, “that would be the Replicator homeworld.”

Rodney turned toward them as hope bloomed over his face.

“You feel up to a heist?”

Location: M74-277 | Jumper | ZPM

“Aren't they going to notice when we pull the plug on this thing?” John said over the radio.

Rodney gulped. “Probably, but they've got dozens of ZPMs. Let's just hope that they don't-” his heart seized as he waved his hand, “notice until we're long gone.”

“That's wishful thinking,” John said. Rodney grimaced at the words. “We still in the clear?” He added.

Elizabeth leaned forward. “There's a small group of Replicators two corridors over, heading your way, so you need to move quickly,”

Rodney looked over the data on the screen. His eyes widened. Oh wow, that would be-

“We're on our way."

“ Wait,” Rodney said, "Just wait.”

“What?”

“There is a side panel on your right. Open it.”

“Rodney, we don’t really have the time for-”

“Just trust me on this one.” Rodney snapped. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, the look enough to chastise him.

“Woah,” John said.

Rodney perked up. "What?”

“I think you’re going to like this.”

What was probably minutes felt like eons as they waited for John and Ronon to come back. Relief rushed through him as they stepped into sight. Confusion flashed as John dropped three cases in front of him and Elizabeth. “Hook up the ZPM. We're leaving.”

Rodney opened one and inhaled sharply. His mouth fluttered. They had ripped out the foam, nothing to protect them in the case, and normally he would be losing his damn mind about it if it weren't for the treasure filling it.

He looked up at John. “Really?” He breathed.

John flashed a cocky grin. “Happy Birthday Rodney.”

Location: M74-277 | Jumper | Escape

John tilted his head back at Rodney from the pilot seat. "How's hyperspace looking?"

Rodney stood back up, knees creaking. "Not good. Look, harnessing power from the ZPM is tricky." He waved his hand in the air, " If I'm off even just the slightest amount, then we could all—"

"Two ships headed our way," John cut in as two Aurora battle cruisers appeared.

Rodney grabbed the cables above as the jumper rocked from a blast. Fuck. There was no way he could finish in time.

“Rodney?!" John called.

"Look, I need more time!" Rodney held tight to the ZPM as more explosions rocked the jumper.

"We just lost weapons!" John shot back.

Rodney wiped the sweat off his forehead. “Dammit,” he typed furiously on his datapad.

“Come on, McKay!” Ronon barked.

Rodney’s eyes snapped up. “This is not simple, you know!" His hand cut in the air, "If I don't properly calibrate the power output, we could incinerate the moment the hyperspace window opens!” Rodney clenched his teeth in irritation.

“I'm picking up something dead ahead,” John said squinting his eyes.

Rodney froze at the sight of a jumper uncloaking directly in front of them.

“Oh, crap," John said and looked back at Rodney. "They're powering up weapons!”

John started adjusting the settings on the console as Rodney typed faster. His eyes flashed around before he jammed a crystal into the ship. He inhaled sharply as he watched the results running over his datapad. “I did it, it’s done.” Rodney stood up his hands in the air, “go go go.”

John immediately opened a hyperspace window and rushed them through.

Location: Atlantis Jumper Bay

Rodney grabbed one of the cases and hurried out of the Jumper the second they landed.

Radek hobbled up to him, waving his datapad. “There is an anomaly near the west pier, power was being sent directly there, and we couldn't stop it.

“What!?” Rodney grabbed Radek’s datapad.

Radek pointed at the dot, “We won’t have enough power.”

"Power?" Rodney flashed a lopsided grin, pushed the datapad back to Radek, and opened up the case. “Oh, we'll have enough power and then some after we install these babies.” A collective gasp spread as Rodney pulled multiple ZPMs out of it.

"I know, I know," Rodney twirled his unoccupied hand. "Amazing, wonderful, thank fucking god, yes." He thrust one into Chuck's hands and snapped his fingers, "Now, come on people, we have two aurora class ships headed our way, no time for a celebration, let's go!”

Everyone scrambled as Rodney passed them out, rushing to install them. He handed one to Radek, understanding the excitement plastered to his face despite the situation. They had spent years searching for these, fought for them, lost good people for them, and now they were stocked full.

Hope spread through him. They would have all the power they needed soon. He sighed. Now, they just had to finish before the replicators came.

Great.

Location: Atlantis

Radek groaned as the output remained the same. He threw a wrench and stood, moving his leg slowly.

The anomaly.

He pulled out his datapad and studied the blueprints of Atlantis as he headed back to the gate room. He had hoped he was wrong. That the anomaly had not affected this area. He had already come up with a contingency, but the idea was risky. He tilted his head. Although, he supposed it was less risky than stealing from the replicators.

Rodney was already barking orders and kicking a tech off his computer as he arrived in the gate room. “The conduits are all fried.”

Radek sat down near the man, hissing as pain shot through his leg.

Teyla arched a brow, “But we do have power.”

Rodney sighed heavily, “It doesn’t matter if the power can’t get to the engine.”

“The anomaly in section E12,” Radek reminded, “it was draining Atlantis and disrupting key areas.” He held his palm up, “It's why the power isn’t getting to the hyperdrive.”

“Dammit,” Rodney tightened his fists, “compatible parts are scarce.”

Radek looked back down at the blueprints. “Rodney,” he held up his datapad and pointed, “what do you think of this?”

Rodney’s eyes widened. He nodded as his gaze locked onto Radek's. “We would have to-”

Radek nodded back, “I already have a team of techs ready to dismantle-

“Good, then we need to work-”

“On the algorithms for power convergence, yes, yes”.

Rodney tilted his head. “Then we’ll need to divert the hyperspace power conduits to that section of the ship.” He pointed at a few techs. and scientists. “Cannabalize the crystals in non-essential areas.” He frowned, “we may need to use parts from the sublight engines." He snapped his fingers, "Get a group set up and ready to go just in case." Those techs nodded and rushed away.

“And the anomaly?” Radek asked.

“The anomaly is at-” Rodney looked at the screen, “point two percent as opposed to the sixty-two it extruded an hour ago. It's minimal compared to the replicators on our tail. Let's deal with it later.”

Rodney looked at Chuck, "Watch the anomaly and keep me updated."

Chuck nodded as Rodney and Radek split up, the rest of the room bursting into action.

#I wanted my 50th work on AO3 to be a big project #who knows how long it will take #and will it be sporadically updated?#you bet your fine ass it will #this is also an exercise in both follow through and restraint as in not going overboard or abandoning it #but it won't be the end of the world if I do #anyways #sga #stargate atlantis #rodney mckay #john sheppard #ronon dex #radek zelenka #teyla emmagan #chuck the technician #stargate fanfic #twotalesff #fanfic #jump

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reddogcollar · 3 years ago

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They're married so you can ship them now

This is it this is the idyllic ending. This is me being nice

First/Prev

The floorboards of Redmire Manor had always had a red tint to them.

The wood had been dark for as long as the Manor had stood.

It was just that, where Hector knelt, it seemed darker.

There was a line that he could trace, where the red tint seemed to have become more obvious. Just in the one spot.

A large spot, near the table.

It was bright red, dark at the edges. He realized he couldn't trace that line anymore. And that the edges were closing in. The red burned, he could almost hear a thump, as it was nearly swallowed entirely by fuzzy blackness.

His throat was tight.

He realized he'd stopped breathing, kneeling on the floor.

Pushing himself up, he couldn't conceal the gulp of air he took from his companion.

"Hector?" Drew asked, stepping forward. He'd stayed by the door when they first came in.

Hector doubted he'd noticed the discoloration in the floorboards. Glancing back down, it truly was subtle. It took him a moment to find the difference again.

"We should go outside." He said, not explaining or waiting for an answer before walking past.

Drew followed without question.

The gardens outside had been lovely the last time he'd seen them. Now without proper care, tree branches had grown in the way, several flowers hadn't grown back after the winter, and the path was obscured with plants growing in the way and fallen leaves.

He doubted that Vincent had even thought of continuing to pay the gardeners, and after he was gone, it must've simply fallen off the list of priorities.

In the grand scheme of things, when sacrifices need to be made, a garden is a small sacrifice. But still.

At least the stone benches hadn't managed to crumble.

He really didn't want to make Drew sit in the dirt.

"I should be happier, shouldn't I." Or anything at all. He should feel anything more than a dull sense of dread. Everything was over and he was home.

"There's no right answer to how you should feel right now." Drew said, his hand on Hector's shoulder.

It'd been a month, and things like that had been ever present since.

He'd become accustomed to it.

"I could've been executed, or locked in a room for the rest of my life. I should be more relieved. And grateful."

It'd been charitable of Bergan to let Hector stay in Brackenholme while he collected himself. Even kinder that he'd allowed Drew to come with him to Redmire. It'd been charitable to even let him live.

"You've already said your thanks." Drew said.

Truthfully, too. He'd said thank you in every way he could, and then holed up in his room the rest of the time. He'd said he was getting everything together, which was true in part.

But it's hard to see more than one person at a time after a year of only seeing one person.

"Mm."

It was true that he'd said his thanks, repetitively, even, but how much did gratitude mean when he wasn't happy with the idea of being out in the world among people again? He wasn't even sure he was happy to still be alive.

Drew didn't respond immediately. This was something they'd talked about before.

In the end, he decided to change the subject.

"Are you going to stay here?" He asked, turning slightly so he was facing Hector.

Hector didn't answer right away, sitting up a little straighter and turning towards Drew.

When he'd thought about getting out over the year, he'd assumed he'd simply come back to Redmire. That'd it'd be easy, and he could move on with his life. That he wouldn't have to step out after only a few minutes of being inside.

"I don't know." He said, shrugging. "It's my home. I don't know if I can stay here, though. Not right now."

The air inside had been clear, and yet he'd found himself struggling to breath. He wasn't sure if it was a problem he could even fix. It'd been so long he couldn't even remember most of what had happened.

He should be able to go back. He should be able to move on with his life.

"Gretchen would let you stay with her in Hedgemoor." Drew suggested. The hand that had been on his shoulder was on his knee, now.

"Maybe."

It wasn't a bad idea, or untrue. But could he drag himself to Hedgemoor to ask for that?

Wasn't this something he'd need to figure out on his own? He'd already had a month to work this out. He should know by now.

He hadn't noticed he was pressed up against Drew's side until Drew was pulling away, rifling through a bag for something.

"I almost forgot, I have something for you." He said, pulling it out and sitting up again. Whatever it was, it was small.

He turned his hand over to reveal a brass boar.

The brooch he'd carried all around Lyssia.

"I thought I lost this." In Icegarden. When Vincent pinned it to Ringlin's breast and let him be torn apart.

He didn't take the brooch from Drew. He felt rooted in place.

"It was around the base of the tower. Bergan gave it to me." Drew explained.

Of course it was.

Lucas had ripped that man in half, and thrown him over the edge.

He wanted to say Ringlin was a good man. He'd become a trustworthy friend, while Hector was out stabbing everyone he'd ever known in the back. He was mortified by his death.

But he was a murderer and a thief. He wanted to say he'd been a good man, but he didn't know if he could.

"Wherever you end up, I'll go with you. If you'll have me." Drew said, breaking Hector's train of thought.

Still holding the brooch. It glinted in the sunlight.

He seemed to hear what Drew said a moment after he said it, forgetting the brooch entirely to look at him instead.

"I couldn't ask that of you. You already have everything you need in Brackenholme." He said, shaking his head. "There's hardly anything I could give you."

He'd ruined one man's life by asking him to follow him already, and even then he'd at least had money to give.

"You can have everything you need and still not have a home." Drew said, simply. "So, will you take it?"

It was hardly a question of if he would. He would love to. He would love not to have to spend a moment alone, only his thoughts as company.

But could he?

Could he take that offer when he had nothing to offer himself? Could he refuse it, knowing he may never get such a chance again?

How much was his own happiness worth?

The brass boar glinted in the sunlight, catching his attention.

He'd lost everything. When the brooch had gone over the edge, he was truly sure he'd lost everything.

His family, his friends, his safety, his stability, and then his only tie to home.

He was sure he was about to lose his life.

Now it was all being offered back to him, in a metal palm. It was hardly a question of if he would take it.

Placing his hand over the brooch, over Drew's hand, he nodded.

Everything was started to get a blurry again, as much as he willed it not to. Crying would probably ruin the moment.

"Thank you." He said.

Drew didn't seem to mind the tears, closing the White Fist around Hector's hand and pulling him into a tight hug.

Even when he pulled out of the hug, he didn't let go of Hector's hand.

He didn't want him to.

He could keep the White Fist closed, both of them holding that brooch forever if he wanted to. Hector wouldn't mind.

In direct sunlight, it almost shined like a star.

Eventually, though, Drew had to let go, leaving the brooch in Hector's hand, holding his face instead.

The metal was warm on his cheek.

Drew's lips were warmer.

#WIN. Its over #first time writing a serious kiss I immediately backed out and ended the chapter #I've never read a decent romance OR smthng where they immediately escalate to like. fucking in a dungeon so #I can't be blamed if its weird #ANYWAYS<3 time to port this entire bitch to ao3 #sometime tonight #fun fact eventually ill write up the like. scrapped epilogue idea I had #this fix has bonus content

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Rio & Buster

Rio: *Even if he wouldn't laugh her out of here for it, (which he would), the commiseration of 'shit timing' wouldn't pass her lips. 'Cos both old enough to know better, even if she was a few months shy of his new number. Old enough to know that it was always going to be like this. Yeah, the first was usually the worst, and it would become normal as the years passed, but she was always not going to be here from now. Could get rid of a person but not their absence, standard. That was life. Not kidding anyone with that nonchalant approach though, couldn't even lean against the brick 'cos of the fucking wings. What a joke. And it wasn't JUST 'life'. It was her lack of. And all the reasons why. And how much they didn't fucking matter now. Nothing did. If Rio could make herself believe that, proper, then maybe she could feel alright about the fucked up shit she was feeling and the fucked up things she'd been doing, namely for and with Buster McKenna. Christ. As it stood though, she didn't. But feeling not alright, feeling wrong, fit the tone of tonight so fuck it, yeah? Yeah. Never mind how good he looked, and how she shouldn't even notice that but it was all she could, an unbelievably welcome distraction from the shit in her head, torturous as it was to only be looking and not touching. Whatever. They both knew they would. 'Til one of 'em came to their senses and realized what the fuck they were doing. That would be fun. But that weren't tonight. Certainly not there herself and highly doubting he was, if this getaway was anything to go by. And that was just the tip of the friggin' shitshow. So yeah, she'd put money on it. Throw money at it, if he wanted, she knew some places with low enough lighting and standards that'd fit the bill. Even get in in their costumes, fit right in, frankly...* Took your time, boy. Buster: *He'd been going through the motions, recycling behavior from nights past where he could. Taking a shot for this or getting dragged onto the dance floor they'd made for that, feeling no burn on the swallow how he should've (not even a year closer to properly walking in his dad's shoes yet like, never mind the old alkie's down his grandad's boozer) nor any awareness of his body paint being slightly sweat streaked now, as if to call out the obvious flaws deep in his chest, when really that was just more of the same bullshit and nobody here needed a sign anyfuckingway. Then again, none of them could see Buster watching Rio, waiting for the slightest indication that she was about to give into him and maintain eye contact that lasted longer than a second. What a fucking joke. He saw red in every moment she got close to somebody else, or just stayed away from where he and his friends were, playing the tease again, like he was that cunt of a kid and she could in any way go back to who she was before either. Christ's sake. But of course there wasn't a single guest at this party about to address what was missing or they couldn't have. Only the first elephant in the room, that. So there. All he could do was what was expected of him and loudly take everything that was offered, declaring it birthday's boy prerogative or some shit. Fuck it. Bonus points if in cracking open another bottle of Champagne it let him return to being numb in a gulp. After all, he'd been trained not to show any of his rage when it came to fighting for access to Jay, what was some more, yeah? No need to be a pussy. Nance was in NYC as good as alone and by all accounts she weren't crying into her cocktail. Handle it. Come on, how long had it taken him to break into a run, to show all his cards in one text? To get weak. And, honestly, how long had he been waiting for that too, not even mad it was coming, 'cause there was no blaming him for how Rio looked. Or how good it felt when they touched. The power was hers, to bring him to the point furthest from anesthetized, let her own it all. Why should he care if it was wrong, what the fuck did another mistake added to the list, matter? It was Halloween not New Years. Tonight he wasn't looking to try his best at anything new unless it made her as needy as he was, and twice as bad at least.* Could've taken longer. *Such a lie, but might as well start as they mean to go on, like. There was too much painful truth in his head as it was and this was meant to be the escape he practically needed to beg for, so whatever.* Rio: *She shrugs. The 'but you didn't' barely needing to pass through her head, nevermind be said out loud. They both knew. But they both knew the less they spoke about it the better. 'Cos let's face it, if they addressed this, then there was a whole parade of the pink fuckers, (making every day a circus!), that they'd have to and all- and fuck that. Yeah, it was messed up but at least this one felt good in the moment. All that other shit was just pain, all day, all night, pure and simple, black and white. And there was no denying the fun they were having playing in the grey. Front as he was now, and she did too. But not now. Make of it what you will, boy. SO thirsty for you or just sick and tired of not getting what she wants, anything that she needs, ever. It didn't matter what he thought, really. Just that he was here. And he was. In all his glory. Literally. Catching a bead of sweat as it dripped just below his navel, tracing the runnel it had made in his golden sheen, touch light over every muscle she encountered, bringing said finger up to her mouth to taste.* Sweet. *It was the opposite, of course, salty, but still, good. Too fucking good. As much as it was meant for him, to get him on the level, a taster of what was to come; It had made her want more too. To taste every part of him, and let him taste her until they smashed into one...being, devouring each other with mutual ferocity and want and reckless abandon. Reckless was the right word. This was literally his family home and some of hers were still inside. Not to mention plenty of others who knew they were cousins. How they didn't ALSO know how badly they wanted to fuck each other senseless all the time was another matter entirely. It felt ridiculously obvious. On her part, but also his, (not sorry about it, McKenna). As if the constant eye-fucking wasn't a dead giveaway, get a clue, people. Apparently, they were so far gone, (all the way to Hell?), that they were beyond detection. Suited her in this moment. And many more, if they were being real. Still, some space needed to be made between them and the shit party. For their sake, if no one else's. Taking his hand, beginning to walk, nowhere in mind yet just the goal of being alone.* Come on. Buster: *There was no response needed to his piss poor retort, everything that needed to be said was as soon as their eyes met properly. Both lingered over it, brazen, 'cause they didn't have to steal timed glances out here in the pooled half-light, the most alone they'd been allowed to be so far tonight. Still, every thump of his heart in his ears was another tease, mocking the distance that didn't let him hear hers and he was about to do something - frankly ANYTHING - to stop the anger from taking over what senses he'd managed to keep a hold on somehow when Rio reacted first. FUCK. Whatever move he'd reckoned on her making, this wasn't it. Jesus. Buster knew that if any other girl had tried going in for this they'd have only made a twat of themselves and he'd be bent double laughing, but the sound that escaped him then wasn't. And worse, he didn't care. Let her have it. He was gonna have her first proper chance he got. 'Course the temptation (nothing like the right word for how deep the desire went to go with this specific urge immediately, but whatever) was there to pull her into what shadows he could find against the brick and fuck her right there, in an almost parallel to the first time they'd managed to go through with it, the same desperation fueling him as that fucked up day they were all refusing to think about. He was ready to pull her into him even as the muted bass put itself in competition with the girl's rapid heart, reminding Buster that he basically still had his back to the party he'd tried to turn it away from. Fuck's sake. He forced out a shaky breath, letting her take the lead the way she'd typed out she would, all the while saying a little prayer that his legs hadn't given way before carrying him to whatever destination they were gonna end up at. Had he ever wanted anyone this bad? Christ, the answer couldn't be a louder no if he shouted it out, like. Did that mean he had to lose his shit over a fingertip, though? Apparently fucking so. There was no shaking his head to clear it of these thoughts, there were too many to do anything but welcome. This here was the party for exactly that.* Where do you want me? Rio: *Rio grinned, and it actually managed to reach her eyes, headlights of cars passing doing a disservice in comparison, only twinkle found there in the green being the metaphorical kind. She almost laughed, too. Christ. That ached almost as much as it did between her legs for him. Had only been 18 days since. Wasn't that long to go without feeling, let alone expressing, any kind of joy; Calm down, like. The nasty voice in her head that had (so helpfully) morphed into Edie's, mocked that it had been a lot longer than that, hadn't it? Fuck off. Focus, don't lose this feeling. They didn't have to go far. Can't even last that long? Whore. Shut up, shut up! God, she was, would be, (happily), if it meant she could have him now. Right now. Get lost in him and how he felt and how he could make her feel, get so far out of her head it was better than any high she'd ever had- fuck. She needed that. No need to psychoanalyze it now or the morning after, like. Who cares if it was just because or because X, Y and Z? It still would be. Still was. She couldn't deny it anymore, didn't want to, especially not tonight, not now. Barely conscious of their surroundings but knowing they were about out of his nice little neighbourhood. Only seeing the world in potential places he could take her. Cutting across the dead road, so quiet and still, no traffic at this hour, opening the park gate, holding it open for him in a 'here will do' way. Her breathing was as erratic as she was behaving, frenzied, but she didn't care and he better fucking not, either, like.* Please? Buster: *Any stupid cunt looking to pull a last trick tonight would still be able to see them, but Buster couldn't have stopped himself, eager to go further in the only way that mattered, if the Garda had been dragged along into the bushes along with the two of them. Not now that he was finally able to do more than look and he knew she was craving it same as he was. 'Course with each step he'd taken from home that lead up to this one he'd convinced himself he was gonna do her exactly as she had him at first, aiming to make her beg harder, voice cracking on the rest of her words, forced out with pure need. He had form with all the other girls after all. And Rio'd be no different, like he always said, she wasn't special.* Say it again. *He'd never sounded that desperate himself though, had he? Fucking hell. Focus, come on. He stayed committed the idea of this game until his fingers had actually gone lower than hers, roughly pulling the lower half of the costume aside. Hours before he'd wanted nothing more than to touch, taste and tease, however hurried he'd have had to be, but once he was inside her, the thought of quickly pulling his hand out to put to his mouth with a smirk lost any previous appeal. No games, yeah? He'd agreed to it then, and her every reaction reinforced what a fucking great promise that'd been to make.* Jesus. *He fingerfucked her not so she'd cum hard at least once before he did (a bonus to remember in the morning that he'd been powerless at the party, yeah, but wasn't any more, not the real goal if it had ever been.) 'cause she'd never looked as fucking good as she did right now. And after how the night had been going he'd not reckoned on feeling so fucking good himself by the end. It could be that simple if he wanted, and Christ, he wanted nothing else. Nothing more either.* Rio: *As tempting as it proved to deny him in the everyday scenarios, always impossible to resist the urge to disagree with McKenna, just for the sake of half the time; now was so far beyond the time. Pleas, begging him to touch her, to fuck her here and now, hoping people heard and saw, telling him how bad she wanted it, him. All tumbling out as if it was natural; What else would she be saying, asking, when they both knew this was ALL she ever wanted? She had no problem relinquishing that naysayer role, that game they played where they didn't want each other or this, when it came down to it. Rio found it easy, too easy if she were to think about it (which she didn't, often), easier with him than anyone else, somehow. Whatever, he could call her a whore before, during and after if it made him feel better about it. Not like she had any more satisfying answer for him as to why him, and why it kept happening. She knew it wasn't that, herself, but it'd be better if it was, so he could believe it all he liked (if only she could). Have that one for free, boy, on the house, on me. The answer seemed so obvious when he was finally inside her, dragging her out of her head, all thoughts turning into a haze of pure pleasure, only concern keeping this feeling going for as long as possible. Nothing but the feeling of it, of him, and the only thing she needed to do, her only concern, was making sure he felt as good in return.* Fuck, Buster! I need you. *About as much to tug down as she had, a nice change to unbuttoning in the dark. Keeping it simple, that's what they were doing, primal, nothing more but nothing less than fucking incredible. Sliding into position, into each other, hip bone crashing into hip bone, in one move, one moment. The hiss of sharp intakes of breath at the same time, moans matching moans and groans and grunts and praises and curses being exclaimed on the same thrust.* Don't stop. Don't. Stop. God- you're good, you're SO fucking good- *Holding onto him like her life depended on it, arms wrapped tight around his neck, pulling his head down so it was level with hers, so he could see, look straight into her eyes and see what he was doing to her. Fuck, she wanted to kiss him. Had they? Her head was swimming. Did they? Surely not, that was too much, too personal. Would make it too real. But how hadn't they, when they'd done all this, how was that the step too far? Christ, she wanted it so bad now she was watching his lips, even more than she had wanted his dick deep inside her. Wet like he'd just licked them on purpose, pink tongue poking out so fucking cute with concentration, they were full but she wanted to kiss them 'til they were swollen with her desire, bite them and pull them into her own mouth- Jesus fucking Christ...* Fuck it... *She murmured, tilting her head up to his, pulling him somehow closer still, 'til there was contact where she needed it most, moaning into his mouth, finding rhythm here to match the one below.* Buster: *It should have shocked some sense into him when their mouths collided too, that he was kissing her back as forcefully for one thing, like it was a normal thing to do never mind want from Rio Cavante. In reality, (wherein nights were spent with girls that weren't, but were instead fake from bottle blonde roots to bottle bought tan, of course) if they tried to initiate more than a playful lip bite he'd break it off with the promise of his mouth somewhere better. And when he followed through, Buster told himself he loved it, same as they did. Such bullshit. Never proved harder than now, living in a hardcore fantasy, like. But he should've learned his lesson from Chlo and yet here he was, fucking again without a condom or any intention of pulling out. Without a single thought of stopping, at any point, only the opposite. And he didn't care. God, he'd keep this going all night if he could, moan after muffled moan shamelessly letting her know it. Reminding him every second of this was actually happening, unreal as it seemed. And felt. 'Course, there was no way he could stay in their rhythm forever, but they finished together, he wouldn't let himself forget once he'd sobered up. Whatever he was, she was just as bad. Had to take what he could get the morning after, didn't he? Fuck. Don't start thinking about that already. Soft cunt. To pull the focus he concentrated on attempting to find, or at least think, of a way to clean himself off when he didn't even have a pair of socks on him. Fuck's sake. There was no time to get properly moody though, in looking around their immediate surroundings (for the first time, obviously) he had to fucking laugh. Did. Every bit of her skin that had pressed against his was streaked in gold to match his, glittering in the moonlight.* Rio: *About to ask what he was laughing at, with a bemused chuckle, when she looked down and saw the damage (or the joke) herself. All over her, like. At least she COULD see the funny side too, distance between the party and them achieved, glad she hadn't dragged him away for a mid-party quickie like she had wanted to many times over the course of the tense evening. That would NOT have been good, or a fucking laugh.* Fucking hell, McKenna! *Rubbing at the paint, to no avail, quickly giving up on that idea with a shrug.* No more paint, alright? Or, at least warn a bitch next time and I'll coordinate, yeah? Such an amateur. *She winks, fluffing her hair back up and straightening her (lack of) clothes as she walks away.* Buster: *He was tempted to fall back into familiar territory now that she didn't have her legs wrapped around him, blaming her, all bravado and 'well if you could only stay away, like' blah blah blah etc but the bullshit couldn't get past the laughter and he didn't want it to really. Not tonight. It was reaffirmed to him how much he didn't or want any of this to end yet, though it technically already had. Should've. He'd got what he wanted, hadn't he? The expectations for his birthday party had been more than exceeded, no denying it, so what? Why the fuck couldn't he play along and let her walk away? Christ, Rio was right about how amateur he was playing this now and in itself he should've fucking hated that, like. Been angry enough to turn away himself. Go home, 'cause he wasn't the one wearing the sin openly, it was her who had it pinned to her like a gold medal awarded for being some kind of sick fuck. Or whatever. But none of that happened. Buster did the opposite (becoming a habit of its own, this) keeping in step with her as she moved away from the scene of the crime as if distance made any difference to what would have to be owned. Buster shook his head, trying not to laugh again, ('cause yeah, everything was less funny when he was his own target, so try and sue him.)* Where do you think you're going? Rio: *Rio turned back to face Buster, carrying on walking, despite the darkness and despite the heels (just to show how much of a pro SHE was; it was any small victory you could grab when you were fucking up your life on such a monumental scale, yeah?), smirking, feigned innocence in the 'who me?' hand to chest mime. Standard. Had to go back to acting immediately, didn't they? Or face the consequences, and neither of them was ready to deal with salvaging from that level of fucked up wreckage, she more than reckoned.* I said I was taking you somewhere good, baby. You think that was it? *Shaking her head.* I'm just getting started, boy. *Finally turning back so she could direct them with purpose but throwing him back a coy look for good measure, making sure he was still up for it, hoping the spell didn't have to be broken yet.* It is your Birthday, after-all. Let me treat you. Keep up, though, yeah?

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Janis & Grace & Jimmy

Janis: Fucking Phones! *Janis shouts, her frustration kicked into overdrive, phone shotput at the nearest wall before she can think about it. If it wasn't broken before, like. Paces over to the shattered remains, not to cradle with regret, but to put the boot in further, stomping heavily on the useless hunk of junk 'til she's satisfied. Deep breaths were saved for AFTER the storm, not some pathetic vain attempt to stop the inevitable. She was well past that stage. Had she EVER been so naive to be at that stage? Had she ever tried to stop herself? What was the point? She knew how strong she was, how strong IT was, knew better than to get in her own way, like. As she was pondering what the fuck to do now, someone who had NEVER learnt to get out of the oncoming tide's way walked through the door. Oh, Gracie. How many times have you been left shattered on the floor? Stung to think about. Not just 'cos she'd got glass in her feet that needed dealing with. But first- Despite agreeing with Jim earlier, Janis knew her twin better, knew there was more to it. What she did not know was what to do about it. Whatever it was. Gulp. An olive branch disguised as you'd be doing me a favour. That'd have to do it.* Grace? Can I borrow your phone quick, like. *She gestured to the crime scene below her feet.* Grace: *She's a liar, concerned with only the promise that today the gym would be packed, and it was. Every lad who flexed to get girls had eyes for the ones they ranked before Grace walked in, and the girls that were above it, or faking that they were, locked onto their camera roll as they did their work out, looking at themselves, 'done with anyone else, honestly'. She took selfies herself, because without being focused on the insta numbers what did she have, a playlist that preached empowerment without giving her any? Tragic. Pathetic was all she felt next to them, solidarity wiped off her radar by the invisibility she needed and hated. Fuck the sisterhood. Mother nature's turned her back and over it without a 'thank you, next. There's more space at home for her than here. Beyond tragic. Still she goes there minus any juice or coffee stops, there's no craving that can touch how much she doesn't want to run into the growing list of people who she'd die if she had to deal with being around. Obviously she near collides with one of the first immediately because OH MY GOD she can't get a break right now. Coping with only being wanted for her phone is easier than expected though. Grace unlocks and hands it over wordlessly, keeping her attention on what is gestured and so #relatable.* Janis: *Janis nods her thanks, doing her level-best to pretend her sister, silent, wasn't a total headfuck; Wished for many a time but she'd never professed to being careful, had she? The tapping out of a quick text the only sound allowed to occupy the vast space between them. Allowing the awkwardness to grow, as if it could bridge the gap, Janis read his reply (received in record time, by the way) and made huge effort not to smile smugly because she REFUSED to be one of those girls, even though that had had the potential to unite her with her twin in the past, it felt like a bad move now. She wasn't one of those girls either. Not really Not deep down. And she certainly did not seem it nowadays. Oh how we have changed, my friend. She handed the phone back as silently as it had been given, intent on leaving it at that but, for some reason, words tumbling as thoughtless as the rain of violence had upon her own phone just moments ago, she just asked her.* Do you want to come out with us? We're not doing anything exciting, like. So you don't have to...But if a bit of normality sounds good, though; gotta walk the dogs and his brother and sister, run some errands up town. *She finishes lamely with a casual shrug, as if that took nothing, as if they always did this kinda thing. Before they did, but the past was a different place, a town they didn't occupy any more. Whether you thought that a tragedy (and Janis did think it that, too) or otherwise, it was what it was.* Grace: *This headfuck adds itself to the pile, leaving her again, clueless as to who the fuck she is. Grace had long been thinking it of her twin, before barista boy had moved in and got her shaken off from her sister totally, but it's pushed away whenever it enters her head and tries to shake up her own persona. No way and no time like. Until now that it had run out for her anyway. It doesn't matter what her mum said, over and over, she feels broken. And ashamed. And somehow, Janis knew that without knowing, offering her a pity hang to keep the vibe from leaving her alone. Obviously she could go off, hard, in the moment and get everyone else to leave her but what was the point if that's her only power? A pity party is the only one that'll be thrown for her these days, there's no choice but to cope with that. Later. After she's called Janis out in gestures and expressions that scream UGH and AS IF because too much has changed to let go of that. Even as she realises she's accepting, all 'thank god I showered and changed at the gym' crossing her mind and face.* Okay, Jan, no need to beg babes. *Grace fluffs her hair, smiling wide enough to hurt. Later too.* Gotta change my bag first like OMG, a dog that cute has just gotta come home with me. Unfair that your feed gets all of her when mine's the most poppin'. She's welcome. Janis: *Janis rolls her eyes but that action, so overused it went way beyond practiced into straight up muscle memory, was accompanied by a less usual smile. Small but conveying the too-big-and-awkward-to-mention idea that today, just this once, she would let shit slide. Still, it'd feel to alien for both if she let her twin get away with EVERYTHING, like. Sympathies SHOULD only stretch so far, otherwise who even were they?* Sure she'll be buzzin' for the fame, Grace. Just be quick about it, alright? I've already left 'em hanging long enough meself with the fecking phone dramas... *And the shower. And the actually taking longer than ten seconds to pick out somethin' decent to wear, somethin' he might like. Push that feeling down, along with the bile it caused. Don't think about it. Deal with it later. She busied herself in the kitchen, NOT like the proper little housewife the stupidity of giving a shit was mockingly making her feel, but by fishing out the promised leftovers for Twix, finding the sparklers, and chucking in some leftovers for the kids too, Holiday food still coming out their earholes here. Again she ignored the mocking voice from within, trying to be rational about it. It weren't like she gave a fuck like THAT, and not about Jim but if their dad was AWOL it was probably microwave meals and takeaway grub, the kiddos may as well have something decent to line their bellies, Lord knows her fam didn't need it. No sense wasting it. So there. Fuck you. Janis grabbed her house keys and chucked her new cropped hoodie over her outfit, untucking her curls and waiting by the door, foot tapping from impatience, nothing more, alright?* Grace: *Grace moves fast, not because she's feeling it herself but she knows Janis is and can't handle the fight, impatience so blatant to cause it that even without a twin connection that Jimmy would see it himself as quick. Her stomach twists painfully, the idea that no man will ever want her again resurfacing before it can be pushed back down. Her body flops down on her bed staying separate from her, face pressed into the tear-stained pillow until she has a reason for not being able to breathe. A small sound comes out, nothing else. The other girl will be charging up the stairs if she doesn't hurry so she forces herself up and does the switch, grabbing stuff she might need blindly. The 'who am I?' question throws itself out again but it's better than any Janis will ask otherwise. Grace reassures herself its her reasoning for no mirror check before walking away. * Janis: *The 'okay, let's do this' doesn't need to be vocalized (need or want? they're two very different beasts but let's both pretend we don't know otherwise), so it isn't. Quickly jostling out the door, matching pace on the short walk to the Grandparent's, like this was a two-step or a tango another dance that required two to- somehow keeping rhythm, keeping time, so well and so naturally between them it was like they'd never stopped being a double act. Now with Killer in tow, the truth that they had stopped being Graceandjanis, presented itself readily in the hugs and love she received and the awkward hellos and suspicious barks Grace did when they made their date. Janis couldn't very well push the kiddos away, no need to be that much of a cunt on anyone's behalf, her sister especially wouldn't thank her for it- but she converted Jim's into a one-arm handshake type hug affair; 'accidentally (who knew?) pushing her extended fist into his stomach with a 'whoops'. She withdrew, choosing to do what she knew how before anything else could be said or done or even thought.* Race ya to the swings! *It was a challenge for the entire group, fuck it, the dogs could get in on the action if they liked, just give a fucking distraction. Bobby hung back Grace too. Janis looked back, wondering if she should run back too, not leave her sister so soon but she found her legs continuing regardless, beyond her control. That was just how it was these days.* Grace: *She can breathe again, easily, of course she can, when they are walking side by side. Grace forgets until the park's in sight, reminding her hard enough to bring tears to her eyes. She blinks them away, refusing to be that girl, but the buggy's still there, being pushed in time with her own steps so close she can't help but remember how far away any of that is for her. Frantically she clutches her phone, acting out living a life where what the screen is showing her is something she cares deeply about knowing. The distraction can't last and doesn't. There they are, Jimmy and his brother, his sister keeping pace with a sniffing puppy, kicking her own toes against the ground. 'I feel you girl' she thinks, automatically despite having no idea what the girl's deal is and barely a grip on her own either. They all smile, waves and everything, but hers doesn't hurt now and won't tonight. None of this is real. She might as well not be here, that's not news anymore than Janis being gone again is, so why react to it? It's hard enough pretending to give them her usual vibes. The boy doesn't run when the rest do, sticking with her. What the fuck is she meant to do or say to that? She blinks again, breathing deep and he mirrors it. Too relatable. Horrible. If he starts sobbing she can't just stand there. No way. Janis would kill her. It'd look suss af even if she handled it well, a kid crying with nobody but her around to blame. Oh god. She can't do this. He's looking at her like she trod on his dog with her heels on, and hasn't stopped. Grace bends down to his level with another whispered 'hey, cutie', cussing herself for packing her bag on autopilot because she couldn't guarantee having anything he might like. At a loss she falls into old habits, asking him quietly if he wants to take a selfie. He shakes his head no first, until she pulls up all the best features her phone can offer, filters making him smile wider and wider as he skips through. He almost loses it when she makes herself into a singing dog emoji thing and insists loudly that she send it to his big sister's phone. She tells him to go ahead, all it takes to secure a friend for the afternoon apparently. Grace shakes her head, smiling without realizing it. He hasn't even found her games yet. Just you wait boy.* Jimmy: *It's been a headache getting them sorted, but the fresh air eventually clears it before it turns into more than a heaviness behind his eyes. Janis not having a phone, and the thought of him having to text Grace's more than once had him picking up the pace and the kids followed eagerly despite dragging their feet when he first told 'em to get a move on. Cass has no choice unless she was about Twix wrecking her Christmas trackies in all the excitement of her true love appearing and Bobby makes up his mind just as fast when he catches on too. The park or the cramped four walls of their living room, no contest, like. He was with them both there. #Buzzing he thinks with a smirk that's a grin until it's nothing. She pushes him away, forcing him to push himself to catch back up. He touches the chain of the swing just after she does, dogs at his heels, only moving aside so his sister can jump on (and off as soon probably, but go for it, Cass). No prizes for coming second. He looks over his shoulder for bobby, seeking him out, relaxing when he sees Grace with him. He's alright. Wish he could say the same, having lost.* Janis: *Janis took as much internal pleasure from the victory as she could get- not much, nothing if we're being real (we aren't). Empty as she felt, plenty of room, like; still, she found the silly little 'win' just as hollow. Still, could fake that that wasn't the case, throwing up loser signs as she raised her arms in 'triumph'. Being an arrogant cunt was a surefire way to keep people at a safe distance, that method beyond tried and tested now. 'Let's get this whole situation back to fakery, yeah?' Her every sane impulse urges, terror white hot, cornered animal scared, ready to lash out for her survival, (and his). 'Please, no. I'm not ready to stop this!' The part of her that burns with wanting him, loving- this, whatever 'this' was, begs, thick with need. Need was not allowed. Needing things just meant hurt and disappointment, every time. And Janis felt she had enough stacked already. Call her weak or a pussy for knowing she wasn't super-human, (not even human), for knowing her limits (Weak. Pussy.) Enough was enough, do what you do best already, and run; run so far ahead of him that all he's left with is your dust, not even memories, good or otherwise, to remember you by. Forget about it, kid. Ignoring Jim might be a task she was up for the challenge of but ignoring Twix proved near impossible, Janis patted the pup's head absent-mindedly, just to get her to calm down a bit, like. Working out what was wrong when she was met with manic sniffing, she dug around in her pockets and produced a bone. She tossed it lazily but it still flew a great distance through the air out into the open field. She then had the perfect excuse to casually follow after the running dog. So chill. So natural.* Jimmy: *He pushes Cass on the swing a few times, helping her get the speed up she needs to make the jump, but hard as he goes for it, it doesn't help. The only thing that's gonna is to sort out why Janis is being off with him. He asks himself first, thinking that since Grace was being uncharacteristically quiet too that was the answer. Being mad that Gracie has invited herself to tag along made sense but taking it out on him was a dickhead move like. Shrugging to convince any watching sisters that he didn't give a shit, he jogs over to where the two of them are, bending to annoy Twix 'cause that'll get to her most.* Gracie coming too town too? I see how it is, getting coffee when she knows her real faves on shift. None taken.* It's bollocks but going off for a smoke'll go down like a lead balloon with Bobby when he notices which means Cass getting pissed off at him when Janis already is. Instead he nods over to where his little brother is, still beside Grace. *We should get in on that, bet our selfie game's well stronger and you'd make a gorgeous bunny mate it has to be said. Janis: *Janis nudges him away from Twix as if the daft thing were hers and not at least part his, making a 'leave off' sound too.* Don't blame me if she goes for your ankles, like. I didn't teach her how to do that or nowt but you know, s'a bitch's prerogative. *She nods, not looking at him, eyes kept on the horizon, as if he were a stranger she was having a meaningless chat to about the weather whilst keeping an eye out for the bus still.* Yeah. Anything to get out the house though, init. *Said as if Grace was driving her as mad as two hyper kids, which usually wouldn't be a lie but currently her sister had about as much life in her as the Christmas tree they'd just chucked. She did her best to ignore the joke about the other baristas, 'cos at the end of the day it was one, it just didn't feel like it when her twin was in such a way. But even Janis couldn't pin that on the boy stood with her now, she had enough pride to not appear entirely irrational, like. She could, however, lower herself to an eye-roll at the equally as jokey suggestion.* Nah. Bobby's cuter. Besides, I'm so fucking sick of selfies. Jimmy: *He shakes his head exaggeratedly, smirking.* No chance. She's soft as. Lot of that going about.* Jimmy nudges Janis playfully. *Like trainer, like dog, don't they say? *Anything to get a reaction out of her that isn't this. 'Cause fucking hell he doesn't get it. They'd had a good day before, only better if he'd beat her at paintball too, and a decent night despite the actually mad amount of family she had for him to meet. This morning she'd been alright with him. Their normal. Until now. What the fuck had gone wrong? Panic makes his palms slick and he uses her nan's husky as means to destroy the evidence before she twigs it to be, patting the dog's head affectionately.* This one on the other hand, #savage. Twix, get taking those notes, hun. *He laughs, hating what it sounds like when it lands, but preserving. Why the fuck not. Might as well go one further he thinks, and does, acting like he'd been shot down by what's actually true as he raises his hands to demand a ceasefire before making a show of putting the phone away and patting his pocket. * You'll change your tune once that new model's in your hand. Janis: Fuck off! *She says, indignant, voice raised. Couldn't even help it, correct button pressed; well done, mate. Nail on head, the ease in which he could do it sickening, a punch in the guts. A warning sign. No, it wasn't. She just got angry, she was an angry person, that was all, nothing more to it. Now calm down. Calm the fuck down before you embarrass yourself further. 1 2 3- Fuck it. Janis snorts, again words out before she can help it. Before she can censor the shit he doesn't need to know. The shit she doesn't talk about. Ever. With anyone.* Yeah well, that's what happens when you're not raised- *Stopping herself before its too late, 'cos nope not going there, not today, not with him. She let him distract the both of them with his amateur dramatics, looking him up and down skeptically.* Not too late to join the drama club, you know. You need an outlet, mate. About as much as I need the newest iPhone and all its megapixels, like. *She does her own mime act, clicking an invisible camera at him.* Grace: *They are playing some brightly coloured tapping game together when his shyness of her wears off. The questions are easy at first, listing off the cats names as far back as she can remember when she tells him regretfully about not having a dog, counting on her fingers and using his when they run out. They are both laughing at the end of it and she continues after hearing his mum was allergic to dogs so they couldn't get Twix 'til she went. Way to own and finalise that separation Mr Taylor, Grace thinks. Such a mood. Janis would 100% approve. She looks over at her sister but her gaze won't linger long enough to be felt. Not now. It just can't. She can't go there. She asks him more about her, this mum who he insists is 'far away', letting him talk. He deserves to say anything he wants, in whatever sense her absence means to him. None of her family do and look at them all. There's a huge part of her desperate to join in, just have the words 'my sister Edie is gone too' come out, but she can't go there either. It isn't right. Not when she means dead and this kid is what, like 5? If her twin's ever shared that info with her she can't find it in the moment, like it matters. She's not gonna offload that on him. No way. Better to keep smiling and encouraging, at least he's thriving off it.* Jimmy: Calm it down! *His own tone stays playful, matching the smirk he doesn't dare to drop. Fuck him for forgetting his shades the one time he needs them for something that isn't posing, if anything in his face gives him away to her they aren't gonna make it to town, making him a peak dickhead. He nods at the next bit, letting her know how 'so relatable he finds it, like' as he looks over at Cass and Bobby both, wearing the 'don't I know it' on his face wearily. Joke's over there. Call it a raw nerve, or too much truth to shrug through.* Yeah. *Before his weariness can piss them both off he takes the out his given to keep this banter jokey. Hip Hip Hooray!* Countin' on it. Shame you've missed the deadline for being one of us art pricks. You'll always have the 'gram though. #blessed. Janis: *'Great' Janis thinks to herself, sinking further into the regret consuming her every thought and action today as she realizes, (or at least presumes), he picked up on the dead sister vibes and now feels awkward as arse. Well done, dickhead. It wasn't as if she could plead ignorance, four years gone had taught them all that other people were crap with dealing with the death conversation. No one wanted the reminder. Least of all them, to be honest. Had to seep into everything, didn't she? Never any good at staying gone. Fuck you, Edie. Janis swallowed following his gaze to Cass and Bobby, taking the time to check up on her sibling too. Nothing, she tells herself, she feels nothing. Fuck them all. Its the blisteringly cold wind making her eyes water, that's all. She grunts in response, hardly worth it but it was all she had to give, not sorry about it. Sorry. She walks on in silence, throwing things for the dogs, shouting out commands, doing her best to disguise the cracks in her voice as a sore throat and nowt else. In the spirit of throwing a bone, she attempts to say something real, give him anything to work with. Purely 'cos this was boring, like. If they were gonna be wasting their afternoon regardless, yeah?* Let's play a game. You have to answer every question truthfully and straight away, like, if you don't you lose your chance to ask a question back. Meaning I get to go again or you pussy-out fully and call game over then you lose. Got it? I'll even let you go first, gracious victor that I am. Jimmy: *He doesn't know what to do when he sees it in her eyes any more than when he does in his sister's. The fight. He knows what he wants to do, every damn time, but he knows what it'll earn him from Janis. Same as Cass near enough. A smack or a strop off. He's had plenty of the first, naturally, but the second has him frozen in place. He sees it in his head, Janis stepping back as he moves forward and can't bear the maybe like. He breathes out hard, forcing it until he coughs. By the time he has his shit together, it's done. Chance missed for him to go for asking 'why are you being so off with me?' Thank fuck, 'cause honestly he knows the answer, doesn't he? She's fed up now they aren't faking it. He shouldn't hold blame, state of him, but it's there. For himself mostly, thinking she'd be any different. Nobody stays. Give her a few years and Cass'd be off to, looking for better. Bobby after some more. Still, he trails along, trying to be wrong. Needing to be. He feels it when he kisses her, more than his desperation, and if it exists, he can keep on to it. So he gets a grip now, sorts himself enough to be properly back next to her. Grins when he is, 'cause there it is. A new chance. Fucking hell. Jimmy nods. * Yeah okay. *He catches her eye, challenging her to back down already but bricking it that she might. What would he do then? He nudges her, the contact meaning more to him than the casual gesture lets anyone else know. He tries, ready to lose if needs be. * What's up with you then? Janis: *Janis resists the urge to pull a face, an 'of all the questions' kind of look, 'cos obviously that's the entire point of the game and she was the one who started it so- man up, like. She opts for the classic 'is that it?' look instead, faking out on her answer not being an option (she wouldn't do that to him) but she could at least front some bravado before answering truthfully. She leaned into his nudge as if to prove to herself otherwise as she said-* I'm scared. *A shrug, again, as if to counteract her words. She also fought the urge to ask what was wrong with him too, settling on an easier question, but one she'd still care to know the answer to.* How many girls have you slept with? Jimmy: *There's so many questions that come to mind when she gives her answer but it isn't his turn and honestly, if it was, he's scared too. More than a bit. Probably more than she is, truthfully. 'Cause the feeling is too strong to be alone in, he's about to let her know she isn't, by reaching for her hand and squeezing but there's no time for that. She takes her go, digging at him less than expected. Jim hides his surprise with a snort, shaking his head. 'What are you like?' that gesture implies, but he's bothered more about the state of himself, hiding behind all this bollocks again. He returns the shrug she gave him, easy as. She already knows about Skerries. There's no mystery despite what they all seemed to believe when he arrived as a newbie * 2. I had a girlfriend at home before. Ages go. * He shoots her a look, hopefully unreadable.* That scare you more or less? Janis: *She nods. Honestly, pleased, just a hint of a smile gracing her face. Yeah, yeah, yeah that shit shouldn't matter and it didn't, like; when you were on level-pegging, her bitterness told her, even if Jim's number was low, hers was always gonna be lower, wasn't it? Still, there was only one honest answer to his question. Didn't even compare, like.* Less. *Janis was tempted to ask him why he was wasting questions but she would be doing the same in-turn so, nah. She let herself think for slightly longer than last time, working out how best to play this. Interesting enough to keep him playing but not coming out with the real scary shit 'cos that'd have him quitting even faster if she went there with no warming him up, like.* Why'd you not wait to find a real girlfriend here? Jimmy: *He laughs, it's her directness that does it. Yeah that's the point of the game but she's there shamelessly #buzzing by his 'revelation.' It's the first time he's done something right since they got here and he can't help smiling himself. Finally not a smirk. Cheers, mate. He stops himself shrugging yet again, in case that feels like a step back, though for real, he could care less about this question. He'd never lied about his lack of interest or any of that. Still wasn't. * I didn't want one. *Until he did. And here they are. Scary shit. It's better to focus on the game, something he can ask while still playing safe enough to keep going. What then? Come on, dickhead. There's a part of him, also from ages ago apparently, that wants to blurt out something about that cunt Harry she kept kissing, the jealousy existing, making him feel shitty. Reminding him he is, like. His smile fades. Can't keep anything, can he? *Why me when you could've just told your haters about other school Harry and left it at that? He loved boasting about the two of you, he'd have been enough. Janis: *Janis stuck her middle finger up but she joined in the laughter all the same, 'cos not would give her away more than she already had and she couldn't have that. Just let him think she was a jealous girl or whatever had him cracking up. 'Cos surely she hadn't let him close enough that he could actually know what was up, had she? She considered his answer as she stressed over her own. Guess he hadn't...But why now? What had changed? Was they really still just mates, but with benefits, like? Was that all he waiting for? Oh wait, stupid bitch, YOU have to answer first. And that is way more than your allotted one question per turn. And just much too much in general. Calm it. And answer before you look any weirder.* 'Cos he weren't my boyfriend. Ever. Anyone can get a lad like that to get off with them, didn't really prove anything. Besides, I wanted to help you, like. I dunna why. Sue me. *She pokes her tongue out, turning to face him, walking backward as she asks her next. Changing tact, 'cos she's not sure if she can actually handle knowing the answers to all the questions she'd posed in her head.* Do you really hate it here? Jimmy: *It doesn't seem like she's gonna answer at first, but instead of feeling good about another victory to his name, it just lets in all the shit waiting there in his own head to fill in the blanks. He's heard and told a load to piss off before she gives hers. It's nowt he didn't proper know by himself but there's comfort in how she says 'ever' as a fuck you. Fuck off Harry you prick. The feeling only builds when she gets walking like that, reminding him of Jaden's party. He'd never wanted to stop kissing her that night. Still didn't. Same finality. 'Cause yeah, right now he didn't ever. There it was. So when he shakes his head it's no pisstake. Banter's the furthest thing from the gesture and he let's his face show it. Just for now, like. * Nah, I hate that them two do, but not me. *He looks over at his siblings, Bobbin's taken Cass' place on the swings now but she's stayed nearby, phone out, snapping him. Do it for the 'gram, he can't help thinking, an affectionate smile lingering as he looks back at his girlfriend. *You? Wish you'd kept running when you did one from school and me like? Janis: *Back to nodding again, following the direction of his gaze and topic of conversation, 'cos she gets it. Without second-guessing and stopping herself with 'well their situation is probably worse' type of thoughts, she just lets it come out. The first thing she's ever said to him about Edie. The first time she's spoken about her in a long time, except to tell Grace she's glad she's dead, and that she wished she were too, of course. Standard.* We haven't always lived here, either...Lived lots of places for Mum's job and just 'cos. Ireland was barely Home for the older lot; when we came back my sister Edie hated it so fucking much. Not exciting enough, I guess. Or she liked people not knowing us the rest of the places, unlike here... *She trails off red-faced. Shrugging for cover as always.* What I mean is, probably the exact opposite for them two. Not enough people know 'em. We could change that. Introduce them to the unwashed mass of my lot. They will get more comfortable, you know... *Again the trail-off 'cos why the fuck was she offering up useless platitudes like he was a total idiot? Jesus. Distract with your answer time, bitch. As if that would diffuse the tension any. HA.* Kind of...but nah, not really, 'cos its just the people and their talk and the good and bad memories and all the ghosts, init? No matter the destination, all that shit follows so- It ain't really Dublin's fault. Just nice to take a break sometimes. *She smiles, hoping it'll just be taken as a reference to always having Skerries or some shit, and not the fact that being with him felt like a break, wherever they were. Don't need to scare him off THAT hard. And not yet. Fuck a good decision. For now.* What about you, why'd your Da move yous here? Jimmy: *It's his turn to nod dumbly then, 'cause he gets it, Edie's (supposed) feeling. It's what he likes best about this city, that even when his (supposed) new boy shine wears off, there's still much none of them know about him. Won't. He can breathe here for that, a bit, and does until he's reminded of the limits by Janis says after. She isn't wrong. Here he isn't the lad whose mum vanished, but he still is. Always will be, unless she does some magic fucking reappearing act, and how likely is that? It isn't doable, he tells himself so every damn night and for good reason. But Janis isn't wrong about what Cass and Bob need either. It isn't fair for him to keep them shut in this tight circle knowing that they can't keep their mouths shut. Why should they? They're just kids and its their normal, bound to feel like the kind of shit chatted about over the school lunch table. His hands shove themselves deep in his pockets not knowing what else to do. He wants a smoke bad but isn't far enough away from the park yet. Won't get to be. This is why they're here like. Shit. * Yeah. *It's all he has to say, barely able to look at her as is. Lifting his head back to her level is a bigger challenge than he can rise to now. Loser. Fuck. More than anything else he wants to ask her for a break, demand it, but he can't. Janis hit right on how there's no escaping this. He sighs, pulling his hood up. If she thinks he's only keeping the cold out then he'll take that, if not, he'll handle it when. Fuck it. There's only so much trying Jimmy can do today. * He got fired. Wanted a fresh start then.* He shrugs. All true. He doesn't believe if lying by omission or any of that bollocks. She didn't ask why he was sacked. Why a fresh start had to be so drastic. Those are other questions, ones he's not about to answer come to that.* We goin' down town or what? Janis: *That was it. Game over. Before she even had tie to register his answer he was sick of giving it. His hood and guard back up. Sighing with it too. Oh, how Janis wished it made HER mad. What she wouldn't give to feel that familiar friend close to her right now, to take comfort in its arms when he was shutting her out. But of course not, of course fucking not. Couldn't even have that, could she? All she felt was desperation, desperate to be let back in, to know what she did wrong so she could avoid doing it again, and it made her feel fucking sick. At least the nausea gave her valid reason to spit on the ground.* Can't be bothered now, don't matter, you lot still go if you wanna. *She fumbled in her hoodie pocket for Killer's lead, whistling him over so she could get the fuck out of here, NOW. Of course, Twix came bounding and the oblivious husky didn't. Great.* Good girl, Twix... *She mumbled, giving her some love and a treat, wishing the ground could swallow her whole.* Jimmy: *He starts walking back toward the swings, knowing it'll take ages to get both of them ready to go, longer than Janis is gonna stick around for definitely. Jimmy keeps his gaze there, Twix'll move when Cass does and there and then, if she didn't he didn't give a shit. There's no room for it. He's only filled up with how badly he's fucked this when the answer comes and a question won't follow. His sister starts mouthing off when he makes it clear they're off home but a look sorts it. Gotta leave before he's left, sorry. Cass gets Bobby and Twix with her, which should make him feel worse but there's no room for that either. Not yet. One for later like. The two them say their goodbyes, Bobby gives hugs to both twins. He doesn't. Can't if it's the last. There's nowt to do but this.* Probs text you, Gracie. *He's aiming for a joke, without waiting for it to land. Any answers. It's too much, being fake again. Especially like this.* Janis: *Even though she's the one who said it, AND she was the one who started to pack up first, when he just walks away, without so much as a glance back, nevermind a goodbye, it's like a punch in the face. (Don't you know by now I don't mean it? Dickhead)* Oi! *She pushes past him, letting the shout sail over his head like it wasn't even a little bit aimed at him, rushing up to Cass to give her the bag of goodies she'd foraged.* Enjoy, yeah? *Saying her Goodbyes to both kid's as if her and Jim already had, nothing to see here. Janis grits her teeth, poor excuse for a good-humored smile to match his worse attempt at a joke. Have her, if that's what you really want, just cut me off 'cos I can't keep hanging on your every word, Jimmy Taylor. She says nothing, figuring she can let her twin, like she used to. Feeling that unnecessary and unwanted again.* Grace: *Grace has no idea what's happening, beyond the obvious. The tragic. She was in her own world until Jimmy came through, a world where she could deal with being around these kids 'cause they're older and Cass reminds her of Gus which hurts, but in the old way, one she's learned to cope with. This new pain is too new to try and deal. It takes everything not to cry when she hears a newborn doing that. She's hates it, being back to being this lost, a hopeless saddo again, so obviously latches onto the tension surrounding her twin and the barista. She can't fix it, can't even really put her finger on the vibe, but it's enough that it isn't hers. A distraction she can sit in. Drama that can never be as deep as the one her body's done on her.* Oh, you're going. Cool. Laters then, babes. Hope I'll see you around, cutie. * She smiles wide at Bobby, a better fake than Janis can ever be. *No offense, Jimmy.* The laugh sounds real. Only the kids give her something back, but it's for them she does it, not wanting what her sister is gonna dish out in this mood. And if looks could kill, the boyfriend's could have them all in the ground. No fucking thanks. Off you go, boy, bye.* Jimmy: *He waves both twins off as if they're on equal footing suddenly like. Funny fucker he is. Even more of a twat. He keeps going, lighting up as he does, every word Cass might say about it blocked out before it gets out. Enough. It's this or worse, sorry. The kids start bickering as they round the corner, taking out the bullshit he'd started and let seep out on each other when they can't reach him. Jimmy feels like handling it like he's younger than Bobby's age, throwing himself to the floor and sobbing for a bit. There's no getting rid that easily though. Not for him. Janis was the lucky one there. Shame she didn't feel it, but it was too late for him to do anything about that. She wasn't even in sight anymore. Fuck knows when she next would be. He couldn't think of school starting when tomorrow was too far. Too much. He rubs his eyes, ready to call it tiredness but nobody was there to issue a challenge. Fuck.* Janis: *Janis turns on her heel, without acknowledging him again (not hard when all she can think to do is knock him out or beg at his feet, neither of those an option she could live with), but its cheapened by the fact he did it first, and meant it. She prays the walk Home can be as shrouded in sweet silence as the walk here was. For her sake this time. But as they walk on, further and further away from him, she starts to wish Grace would say something, ANYTHING! She needed the distraction from her own thoughts, the ones that had got her in this mess in the fucking first place! Differences aside, even her twin was better company.* Did you wanna go up-town, like? We still can... *She shrugs. What else does she have to say or offer right now?* Grace: *The walk back doesn't feel anything like the one going, they are in step, yeah, but it means nothing 'cause they're both so in their own 'drama'. She nearly tells her sister, at least part of it, as an excuse for why she's being this 'ugh' (none of these stupid, basic words fit, but they are what she automatically reaches for), feeling she owes her that, knowing Janis would be down for her being a bitch over giving her nothing to kick back against. None of the words will come out though. Of course. Only more of her usual kinda convo stuff will. She's that bitch now. Shadowing her former self. God, it's even more pathetic than anything she'd tried to pull on her twin. But it fits, and she flips her hair, turning to the other with a smile which doesn't come as easy but she forces herself to wear anyway. *Well, girl, you still need a phone. Even if just to tell him to fuck off when he tries blowing mine up. Janis: *She's looking down at their feet; looking anywhere else, a risk. She nods, allowing a small 'true' chuckle to follow too. Janis raises her head, straightening her back and standing up taller. She groans as she cracks her bones and stretches out her arms and legs like she's warming up for something. Too little too late, perhaps? God damn.* Fuck this shit, Gracie. Fuck.This.Shit. *She doesn't even know fully what her sister's shit is yet but she feels confident in sending it to Hell with her own.* What are we gonna do, eh? Grace: *She whispers it herself, 'fuck it' so soft, but so 'fire'. (Another word than couldn't touch how things were) It felt good to have it out of her. More than that, feeling connected to her twin again (bad as she felt for thinking it under these conditions, god she was such a bitch.) was even better. A more genuine smile is offered up while she thinks of what she can say, tapping her nails against denim. *We're going to town, sister, and owning the rest of this day. New phone, new clothes, whatever we want. Fuck it. Janis: *Janis smiles back, as genuine.* Fuck it. Let's do this.

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