#that’s my emotional support asshole bisexual himbo

[lokiiied]

THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME PLEASE-

[fictionkinfessions]

ryannnnn my bro my buddy my guy. my bird loving man. we need you my guy. me and steph miss you. and you're our voice of...not reason, but this mean lesbian/meaner bisexual duo needs our emotional support himbo. ur like a golden retriever, you keep us from being assholes. show up already. -alex chen, life is strange: true colors

🐸

[youstupidplonk]

Every found family has…

Asshole with a heart of gold and self esteem issues

Absolute sweetheart who is capable of murder and also has self esteem issues

Cool character who is in possession one the one (1) braincell. (Viv is also sassy but smiling through the pain)

Furious bisexual

Milf (but also possesses a braincell - there’s two between the six of them, she has one viv has the other)

Can only keep one (1) plant alive

And the emotional support himbo (which is also Chris

Inspiration:

https://marxistgnome.tumblr.com/post/651364139625824256/all-found-family-shows-have

And this by the wonderful @alice-blogs-things ✨

https://alice-blogs-things.tumblr.com/post/671099107615588352

[strideofpride]

Okay I can’t gif and GG isn’t really a found family show anyway but I couldn’t get this out of my mind:

Every found family dynamic has…

Asshole with a heart of gold - Jenny

Incredibly cool character and the only one with a brain cell - Vanessa

Really sweet character who’s capable of murder - Serena

Only one capable of keeping a plant alive - Eric

Furious bisexual - Dan

Sassy and hiding pain - Blair

Emotional support himbo - Nate

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

Personality/random headcanons for the boys:

David:

The biggest asshole on the entire planet

But is simultaneously such a fucking hopeless romantic

Basically a bisexual disaster

One of those guys that is simultaneously a narcissist and insecure at the same time

Is the most mean out of all the boys, and fucks with people for fun

He's the type of mean where you can't always tell if he's making fun of you or not- and that's why he's the meanest

Is the leader simply because he said so (also, because he's that one friend in the group that can actually come up with things to do)

He's also the only one with a sense of direction so he defaults as the navigator

Cares a little too much about his reputation

He's an immortal that's obsessed with history and even though he's a 'young' immortal, his amount of knowledge makes him seem older

Is definitely an extravert

Doesn't believe in having a "best" friend and he insists all the boys are his bestfriend- is actually unfortunately the type of person to put "hoes before bros" so his s/o is his bestfriend

Though, he is very protective of all of them and always willing to throw hands for his boys

Marko:

Angry White Boy™

Would punch a hole in a wall

A gremlin that doesn't care about keeping vampirism a secret because aNGRY-

A wild-card that probably does dumb things just cause why not

Thinks creeping people out is fun (exhibit a: purposely says "hi/goodbye michael" just to fuck with him)

Probably the best fighter ngl and if they had killed any of the other boys in the cave, the ending would've gone differently you cannot change my mind

Least able to control his emotions and impulses which leads to fighting or collecting any animal he sees

Is actually an introvert, just has a very loud sense of style- hence why he is super selective with who he talks to and seems to latch onto the two extraverts of the group (David and Paul)

Very crafty, can at least sew

One of the most sadistic- low-key kinda mean. If he doesn't like you, he'll rip you to shreds with just his words and considering he doesn't talk much? It hurts worse when that's what he has to say

David is his second best-friend and that's because he and David have similar flaws- also, cause David's an extravert like Paul so all he really has to do with David is just listen to him monologue

Paul:

Is a himbo

Too dumb to be purposely mean, sometimes it just comes out like that

He just wants to have a funky, chill time so he prefers to avoid fights and confrontation- tries to keep the peace and just goes with the flow

Has definitely said "I'm a lover, not a fighter" at one point in his life

Hard to piss him off, but he can't control himself when he does get pissed (either gets bitey or will cry)

He's a hoe and would definitely catcall someone I'm sorry- he's used to getting slapped at this point because he has a big fucking mouth

Y'know how Motley Crue was in the 80s? Yeah, he'd probably be really good friends with them (for better or for worse)

Can't lie for shit, hence why he literally tells Michael "you're one of us, bud" and probably would've elaborated if Michael had asked

Has poor impulse control but he's more of a talker than a do-er so it seems like his impulse control is better

He's definitely the funny one of the group and he does his best to keep things light

He's very enthusiastic about the fashion changes over the past 80 years or so, and has gotten slapped/punched because he's gotten caught staring or, worse, cause he whistled

He was the last of the boys to learn how to read/write and was only convinced because Marko told him that you can't woo chicks/dudes/peeps with poems/songs if you can't write them down

Considers Marko his best friend and doesn't keep track after that

Dwayne

Is one of the best fighters, but he prefers not to (unless it's for cash)

Which is ironic considering that he's a communist, but Dwayne is definitely not against taking money from assholes (calls it "redistributing the wealth")

Is also an introvert, which is why we only really see him interact with David or Paul separately

Likes kids which is why he immediately knocks Michael out but only really messes with Sam (also why he takes care of Laddie)

Drinks the most Respect Women™ juice out of all of them

Talks the least but has the most opinions out of all of them- and his opinions are actually supported with facts unlike some of them

So while he's not the meanest, it hurts the most cause his reasons for not liking you are based on logic and things you did wrong

His biggest flaw is that nobody knows what's going on with him ever. He's completely unpredictable and slightly unhinged but he hides it by being super quiet

Has common sense but chooses to ignore it for the sake of having fun with the Boys™

He's the best liar and he gets out of shit constantly- is definitely the type of guy to break something at the cave and let the other three argue about who broke it while none of them suspect it was him

Is the biggest bastard out of all of them because he actively chooses to be wild and bastard-like while the others are just guided by impulse, lack of brain cells, and the need to prove a point

Arguing with him is impossible because he either does everything to de-escalate it or he's right. It's incredibly infuriating

His bestfriend position is still open

[violenceisthequestion]

All found family shows have (She-Ra edition)

Asshole with a heart of gold and self esteem issues: Hordak

Really sweet character who's capable of murder and also has self esteem issues: Scorpia

Sassy and hiding pain: Catra

Incredibly cool character who is the only one with a brain cell: Mermista

Milf: Queen Angella

Furious bisexual: Glimmer

Only one capable of keeping a plant alive: Perfuma

and finally

Emotional support himbo: Sea Hawk

(Keep in mine these are based off my opinions and interpretations from watching the show [though I am willing to CALMLY debate some of these])

[abitqueerupinhere]

All found family shows have (for my wip series ‘HOC’ [House of Convicts]) most have temporary/placeholder names atm

 Asshole with a heart of gold and self esteem issues: idk tbh, still working out the characters

 Really sweet character who’s capable of murder and also has self esteem issues: Newbie/ Raymond [low key Assassin as well]

Incredibly cool character who is the only one with a brain cell: Engineer

Sassy and hiding pain: Assassin 

Milf: Boss Lady

Furious bisexual: Hazel

Only one capable of keeping a plant alive: Caretaker 

 Emotional support himbo: Dexter

All found family shows have

Asshole with a heart of gold and self esteem issues

Really sweet character who's capable of murder and also has self esteem issues

Incredibly cool character who is the only one with a brain cell

Sassy and hiding pain

Milf

Furious bisexual

Only one capable of keeping a plant alive

and finally

Emotional support himbo

[actual-oracle]

OKAY SO HERE WE GO, buckle up this is a long story. It was Halloween night and me, my friend, and her brother were chilling after getting a bunch of candy.

We had talked about possibly drinking, but nothing was concrete. We get back to her house and a few hours later after her brother leaves I have one beer. At this point in time I did not know she had an alcohol problem, and she didn't even drink while I was there. I have one beer and get very tipsy, we go to sleep, I leave. Nobody ever knows, right? Wrong.

Turns out, my friend develops a drinking problems and one fateful night a month later drinks all of her mother's Rosé. Her mom finds out and texts my friend asking if she took it and if we had a "party" over the weekend (we didn't actually, three of us hung out but none of us had drunk any alcohol). Her mother tells my friend she's locking up the liquor cabinet and telling my friends therapist, pretty standard stuff right.

WELL THEN her rat of a brother tell their mom that I had a beer (not sure about what he told her specifically), and in all my wisdom my first thought was "I have to tell my mom before they can." So basically I texted my mom telling her I had one beer on Halloween, that it was completely my choice and my friend was really nervous about pressuring me, that I haven't had another one since, and that it tasted gross and I wouldn't recommend it. All of these statements are true.

What I expected was for her to yell at me and ground me for a few weeks. I kind of got that, she just asked if I told my dad and that we would talk about it tomorrow. What I was not expecting was for her to ask if said friend could spend the night, if she wasn't grounded. What. The. Fuck.

I can't tell if this is like- a weird twisted trap or something. I am so confused, my anxiety was so bad I was vibrating and then I just... got that??? I'm going to go to bed now, I'm absolutely exhausted.

My new favorite friend is K because he is so unproblematic and nice, plus he doesn't tell people to kill themselves! I thought our Discord server would be nice but people keep getting Into shit with each other. My alcoholic friend is fixating on this dude right now and he's an absolute ass but I love her so I've tried not to be too mean. I know he's bisexual and it's kind of my fault because I was spamming him with 🥵 but he called me a faggot (I mean I am one) and it made me kind of uncomfortable at first until I realized what a fucking ass hole he is then I laughed. The only reason I tolerate him is because she told me he's the only one who hasn't tried to take advantage of her hyperfixating on him so....

For as much as I hate the asshole I love his best friend 100x. He's my catboy and emotional support himbo, plus his mom has the cutest accent ever. His mom is so nice she told us about how back in the 90s kids at her school would make xs with pins/paint to show they were against drugs 😭😭 I love her.

Back to the asshole, he kept spamming faggot in chat and making sexual jokes which made me very uncomfortable and I had to go play IDV. Buckle up for another long-ish story but basically my alcoholic friend was drunk and was trying to ask me where the bathroom was (I wasn't there, and it's the only time I haven't been, I've taken to staying up late until she falls alseep) and another one of our "friend" Told her it was on the roof. AF (alcoholic friend) has a window in her bedroom that leads to the roof, which is at a very steep angle that you could easily fall from. AF took this seriously and said she was going to climb out the window and kill herself. Asshole thought that the "friend" Was telling AF to kill herself, so he told "friend" To kill themselves. This resulted in a huge fight that I ended up having to deal with in the morning. AF was very stressed and BF + "friend" (British friend) kept yelling/cussing at them. AF got very stressed and I got very concerned so I stepped in and said I would be taking AF's place for this discussion. BF made a comment about AF turning tail and hiding, and that we're all stressed so it doesn't mean you can't handle this. This made me very pissed because they have no fucking clue what AF is going through, and have no right to say what she can't and can't handle. Anyways everyone ended up ignoring me like usual and the issue was kind of resolved.

The only reason I wasn't crying and screaming was because my dad was right next to me, but I was shaking a lot and I felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest. Anyways "friend" Left, asshole got some warnings and a slap on the wrist (I personally would have banned him but I'm not the owner, and the owner gets panic attacks when he's angry at them), and I cried.

Not to like- over share (as if I haven't done that already lol) but now that I think of it I've been fixated on AF for over 7 years- they're the only person I've ever immediately clicked with and they're the only person I ever feel fully my self with. We were seperate for three of those years and those were spent reminiscing on the time spent with AF. Fuck I even have a crush on her, which can never come to fruition. We wouldn't work well together at all, not until we've each dealt with our own issues. Even then I think they'll only ever see me as a friend. Most nights I spend with her on a car while drunk she's always crying about asshole and telling me to get him and that she wants him and... It hurts, like- a lot. I would say it's just my jealousy issues that make me not like asshole but nobody else likes him so it's not just me.

If I'm completely honest I don't trust him at all. He told her that he's in love with her, but she's a lesbian so he doesn't know how to feel. He saw her nudes (on accident) and her cuts. I just- I hate him so fucking much. I don't trust him one bit. Luckily I know an approximation of where he lives because I have his bestfriends address (the one I like, it's really creepy but I saw his address once and had it memorized. I still get the numbers for mine mixed up lol) and I know they live near each other. If he ever tries anything I'm going down there and ripping him a new asshole <3

Speaking of catboy (best friend I like) him and asshole might be flying down to visit in December! I'm honestly super excited to see catboy because he's going to let us do his makeup!!! Plus we'll have matching cat ears!!! Also I know that both of them are real people lol, I've met catboys mom and I've talked with him on facecall so many times. But anyways I was thinking we could maybe walk around our city and hang out :)

Anyways this was super long so sorry about that lol, I'm glad to end on a positive note!