#that’s a lie I watched both suicide squads and birds of prey

[jamethinks]

Love how both TikTok and tumblr has decided I am a fan of the batfam. I have never read a singular Batman comic in my life I don’t know these people

[bluejaywriter]

okay okay okay

okay

WW84 spoilers below

EDIT: I just finished typing this, and it’s mostly complaining. Please don’t read this unless you’ve seen the movie. The movie is good. It is above average. I am just being really picky here.

EDIT 2: Okay, I’m watching again and I have to mention that the Amazons scene is very cool and I am probably complaining too much, and the opening scene is worth the price of the ticket/subscription alone. So there.

EDIT 3: Also Kristen Wiig is delightful, and I am so relieved that the CGI was actually okay, especially compared to Cats :P

Okay, so I have complaints, but not a single one matters because THAT MID-CREDITS SCENE IS EVERYTHING, I couldn’t stop smiling, it’s great.

Also, Themyscira is so BIG. Like, holy shit. Also everyone there is 100% gay.

Also, I wish for a well-written multi-season Wonder Woman TV series starring Gal Gadot where Diana falls in love with a woman and they have a grand o’ time together and neither of them permanently dies or turns evil, and if I got that, I would never renounce that wish, I would just sit in my bunker watching some damn good lesbian superheroing while the world burned.

Anyway...

Also Hippolyta smiles for the first time on camera, and I fainted. I wish there was less CGI, though. Could no one build a damn throne for their Queen? At least they gave her a horse to sit on last time.

Also, can we get an alternative movie where Diana wishes she could go home, if her being banned from Themyscira is still a thing? Or maybe that Antiope could come back to life? Or like... anything other than her dead boyfriend that she knew for a week coming back to life

ANYway

The tone was definitely different and not so much my taste, and it also seemed it was pushing a lot of nostalgia from an era that I wasn’t conscious for, so I think there was a lot that I missed.

Also, can someone write the WW84 version where Barbara Ann and Diana like... keep going out on dates and fall in love, because that’s the movie we deserve after 2020. We don’t deserve Steve Trevor, we deserve lovers to enemies to loving enemies. I will literally pay tens of dollars, and potentially sacrifice this good green earth for this.

I also renounce the story about the warrior who originally wore the golden armor because,

1. Hippolyta would have never let someone else do that, she would’ve kept those men back by herself, and she would’ve done it naked, and;

2. Don’t even think for a second that the Amazons didn’t kill their captors. They killed them. They’re dead. Every single one of them. Do you think Hippolyta freed them and they just marched down to the docks and left one woman to hold back an army? Who the fuck wrote this? Geoff Johns? I wish he would never touch a comic book again, especially after the Ray Fisher stuff.

Also, Hippolyta preaching to her daughter about building her character based on the truth rather than lies is pretty damn rich considering the whole Zeus lie thing, which I also renounce. Fuck Zeus, or rather DON’T fuck Zeus.

On one hand, I’m glad we didn’t get a Greek God popping in at the end, but on the other hand... like. It actually would’ve made sense this time for Diana to hunt down this guy and be like, cut it out. Like, humans are not good. And I highly doubt that EVERYONE would’ve reached into the goodness of their heart and renounced their wish. Maybe I’m just jaded by like, living in the USA for the last 9 months. And the world, in general.

Anyway, this is a lot of complaining, but it was entertaining, I don’t have that, OMG I need to buy another ticket to see it again tonight! feeling that I had with the first Wondy movie, but I probably will watch it 4 or 5 more times in full and then little scenes here and there until my HBO month runs out.

I wish it were darker though, but I guess we’ll get that with the Snyder Cut.

Also, DCEU Wonder Woman is now better at being both Batman AND Superman. For reals.

Anyway, decent movie. 7/10

.5 point taken out because Hans Zimmer really didn’t get much time to shine,

.5 point taken out because Diana didn’t get to kiss a woman. We didn’t even get the famous Cheetah spooning hug :(

1 point taken out for the cheesey-ass script,

1 point taken out because it just didn’t have the emotional oomph I was expecting (this is probably the most disappointing part). It wasn’t emotionless per se, but it just didn’t hit its targets for me.

Although, Barbara Ann’s “Thanks for talking to me” hit me like a sack of rocks, so thanks for that Patty Jenkins lol :P

BlueJay’s updated DCEU ranking:

1. Wonder Woman (2017)

2. Aquaman

3. BvS Ultimate Edition

4. Man of Steel

5. WW84

6. Birds of Prey

7. Shazam!

(I’m not even going to include Josstice League and Suicide Squad).

okbye

[underworldwitxh]

Suga

Pairing: Shouji Mezo/Fem!reader

Rating: T

Warnings: short reader, fluff all the fluff… you’ve been warned. 

Song: Suga Boom Boom - down3r

Prompt: “don’t go far from me”

A/N: this is written for the bnharem Valentine’s day collab. i chose Shouji. i hope yall like this, it was really fun to write. to see the other works in the collab click here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and your boyfriend Mezo Shouji, had decided to go out to the mall to celebrate valentine’s day. When you arrived both of you were taken back by the sheer amount of people out in droves at the mall today. You immediately grabbed Mezo’s hand, your social anxiety kicking in. Mezo smiled gently down at you, he squeezes your hand. 

He changed one of his limbs into a mouth as he whispered to you “Darling, if it would make you feel better we can go somewhere else. Ok?” You shake your head no, looking up at the towering man. At 187 centimeters your boyfriend towered over your 152 centimeter frame. While it was sometimes a hassle, like when you wanted to kiss him. For the most part it was a nice thing. He could carry you if your legs got too tired from trying to keep up with his larger stride. Not only that but he was obscenely strong because of all the training he did for his hero work. 

So you while you knew you were safe, you still clung to Mezo’s hand and stayed close to his side. “Please dont far from me, Mezo?” Your quiet voice called out, if he wasn’t so in tune to listening to your softly spoken words, he would have missed them. He grips your hand tighter and squeezes softly. The two of you continue to wander the mall. Eventually you settle on going to watch a movie at the theater. When you get to the counter and you see that they’re still playing Birds of Prey you squeaked. You’d been wanting to see that movie for some time, since Suicide Squad in fact. You loved Harley Quinn and had actually cosplayed as her for a few conventions around the area. To say you were a fan would be an understatement. Once you bought your tickets and snacks the two of you went to find seats in the theater. 

After the movie the two of you went back to wandering around the mall. Even with the it being as crowded as it was you still had a good time. You were able to get something for Mezo and he got you something as  well. You both decided to wait until you got back to the apartment you shared before giving the other your gifts. You had picked up an order you had placed at one of those kiosks that made custom plaques, it said “Hero of my heart” with a candid picture of the two of you standing in a park gazebo while sakura flowers floated around you it also had the date you two had started dating and there was places on it for other important dates to be added. The kioski worker told you that if you wanted dates added that it was a free service they offered to patrons. It was beautiful and you were grateful that one of Mezo’s fans had sent him the picture of the two of you. You were excited to see what mezo had gotten for you and you tried to get the towering man to tell you by badgering him. Hed just chuckle at you softly and shake his head. You pouted cutely when he would shake his head at you. All that made him do was carrasse your hair and lean down to nuzzle your hair snickering at you. 

Mezo, wouldn’t give you any hints as to what he had gotten you but he just told you. You’d love it. Well that was a bit presumptuous of him because he honestly didn’t know if you would love it, he hoped you would because it would make him the happiest man in the world. The small box burned a hole in his coat pocket where he stashed it before he came back to collect you from where you were getting his gift. 

The moment the two of you arrived at your apartment. You went to your shared bedroom and pulled a few more gifts you had gotten for Mezo. While he went to the closet in the hallway to grab the rest of your presents. To say that the two of you had gotten the other a lot would be an understatement. Not that there was anything wrong with that of course. You loved each other so it was only natural that you wanted to get the other something special. When the two of you met back in the living room you both had a couple packages for the other. You smile brightly as you hand Mezo your gifts. And while you cant see it you just know he’s smiling as well from the way his eyes crinkle at the corners. He hands you almost all your gifts, he does keep one of them back. 

You open one bag and find a gift certificate to your favorite store that sold hero merch, you already knew what you were getting. One of the limited edition Tentacole figurines and Anima figurines seeing as you loved supporting the quiet man. That and it made Mezo laugh when you would fangirl  one of his old classmates. The next bag contained one of those build-a-bear stuffed animals. When you cuddled the bear you felt a heartbeat and then heard Mezo’s voice telling you he loved you. You teared up because you had mentioned once that you would love to have one of these for when he went on those long missions and couldn’t call home. You hugged him tightly, tears in your eyes as you open the last gift which caused you to tilt your head in confusion. All it said was “Darling, when we first met i didn’t know then how much you would become important to me. Everyday with you doesn’t feel like enough. So Darling look up because I have an important question for you” reading the letter confused you a bit but when you did as the letter asked. You gasped because there in the center of the living room floor was the man you loved so much on one knee with a jewelry box in his hands. “Darling, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Mezo asked, his mask around his neck as he looked at you with pure love in his eyes. 

Your eyes widened and your hands flew to your face as you took in the scene before you started nodding vigorously and screamed out “YES!! OH MY GOD!! MEZO YES A HUNDRED TIMES YES!” You launched yourself at him your arms going around his neck as you kissed his mouth crying and mumbling how happy you were and that you loved him so much. After that you made him open his gifts. To say he wasn’t emotional would be a lie. When he saw the plaque his eyes teared up, he remembered that day. It was on one of your first dates. Both of you were so nervous. When he saw the other gifts he got equally emotional. He loved you and the fact you had gotten him things both for here at home and for his office just made him love you more. He immediately set up the plague on one of the shelves around the apartment. 

To say today was a blessing would be to sell it short. The love you have for each other is something that only happens once in a lifetime. And you each made sure to appreciate it.

[thesffcorner]

Birds of Prey (and The Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

Birds of Prey, and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn, is directed by Cathy Yan, and stars Margot Robbie as the titular Harley Quinn, following the events of Suicide Squad.

After breaking up with the Joker, and announcing it to the world, by blowing up the chemicals factory that made her into his partner in crime, Harley finds herself at the sharp edge of gangster Black Masque (Ewan McGregor), with no protection. To survive she has to track down a pickpocket named Cassandra Cain (Ella Jay Basco), who may have stolen something exceptionally valuable from Roman, but she has to compete against singer Dinah Lance (Journee Smollett Bell), cop Rene Montoya (Rosie Perez), and vigilante (Mary Elisabeth Winstead), and every other mercenary in Gotham.

For the most part I haven’t liked a lot of the DC films; this movie’s predecessor Suicide Squad was entertaining in that all the characters were great and their dynamic was fun and interesting, but also terrible, because that film had no plot, no stakes, and had the hatchet taken to it by editors so bad, entire scenes that were plot-crucial were missing.

But we aren’t talking about Suicide Squad; we are talking about Birds of Prey, and this film is great. It’s got a plot like a Tarantino film, with each separate character having their own plot-line which intersects with the others and then culminates in an explosive ending. The action is brutal, well-choreographed, and some scenes are downright inspired like the fight in the Trap at the end or the fight in the police station. There is some really clever use of slow motion, Yan knows how to stage a scene so that we have enough wides to see the characters fighting, and all the actresses and their stunt doubles did a great job.

I think Harley is the best fighter in the film; the way she fights is very creative, and fluid and I could just tell that both Robbie and her stunt doubles loved being part of it. The other girls are good, but not quite on the same level; I’d say the weak link is Montoya, but her excuse is that she’s drunk for like 80% of the film.

The plot of the film is pretty straightforward: Roman wants the diamond, Cassie has the diamond, and the girls have to find a way to keep her and it away from Roman. However, the way Harley, who is also our narrator tells the story is hilarious, and chopped up in smaller sections that flip flop through time. I won’t lie, there were points I was lost; for some reason I was under the impression that the night Harley blow up the factory is the same night she got drunk at Roman’s club, but it isn’t. However, for the most part, I loved how the film set up the story and chose which information to share and which to keep up its sleeve.

This is an R rated film, and it’s an R. While there aren’t any scenes of explicit sexual violence, (THANK GOD), there are many implied moment, one in particular which made me so uncomfortable I wanted to jump out of my skin. I won’t spoil it for people who don’t want to know, but just know that the violence towards the female characters does verge into sexual territory (even if in this case it’s not one of the leads).

The rest of the action is brutal; we see brutal limb-braking, child murder, skinning people alive, as well as a variety of other kinds of violence. What made this film different from say, something like Deadpool, is that the action wasn’t as stylized; it felt a lot more real, more akin to Atomic Blonde, so it felt a bit more graphic.

Cathy Yan helms this film with utter confidence; she is great at the action scenes, excellent at the comedy, and her shot composition is beautiful. It toes a very fine line between being artistic and close to the comic medium, while also still making her shots and flow dynamic. I could make a whole thread of just the most beautiful shots in this film, that’s how gorgeous it was.

As for the characters, they were all great. Huntress was a character that was at once tragic and awkward, while being super cool. Her banter with the other girls was funny, she had some great action scenes, and honestly, I want an entire film about her becoming the Huntress in her Sicilian house being trained by her three dads.

Montoya I was torn on; for this film they make her a hard-boiled detective, a very classic, Dirty Harry type cop, who is disillusioned by the system, speaks in 80’s cop one-liners, and breaks the law for justice. She’s a lot closer to the OG’s question, than Montoya’s Question, but she worked well for the film she was in.

Cassandra Cain was not in fact Cassie. This character is a completely new invention for the film; the only thing she has in common with comic Cassie is her name and that they are both Asian. I didn’t mind this change, as I found her character here equally entertaining, and her dynamic with Harley was funny and sweet. However, if you were hoping to see Cassandra Cain, don’t, because you will be disappointed.

Black Canary was fantastic. Again, she isn’t really like Dinah from the comics in backstory, but she is in personality. She is snarky, has a temper, is a kick-ass fighter, has all her mommy issues and I really liked the build up of her powers, as well as the reason why she hid them. The only thing I wasn’t 100% down for was her relationship to Roman. Like… how did she not realize what kind of monster she was working for, for years? He’s not subtle about it.

Speaking of Roman, let’s talk about him and Zsasz. I know more about Zsasz than Roman, and he was perfect in this film. This is even the toned down version, because in the comics he gets off on murdering and skinning children. Chris Messina did an excellent job; I have never been more unnerved or uncomfortable watching a character in my life, that’s how good he was.

I don’t know how I feel about the film queercoding both him and Roman, but it’s never used as a joke, and Zsasz’s jealousy over people getting close to Roman is an actual plot point. They are also not the only queer characters in the film; Harley is shown to be bi/pan and Montoya is a lesbian.

Roman was entertaining and also horrible. He is a villain, but he is somewhat charming. The film gradually shows us exactly how entitled and evil he is, and how his neuroses are not an excuse for his awful behavior. I don’t think I’ve ever cheered for a character to be defeated as much as I did with him; people in my theater clapped.

Finally we have Harley. Robbie clearly loves this role and this character; she produced the film after all. She is 100% committed, and she delivers on everything that Harley is. I love that the film kept reminding the audience that she is a psychiatrist, that she can understand and read people, that she is smart, even if she’s very impulsive. She is a strong character, but she’s very flawed, and she slowly becomes a slightly better person as the film progresses. Robbie is funny, amazing in the action scenes and worth the ticket price alone.

Also the soundtrack is kick-ass.

Go watch this film; it deserves all the love.

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