#that’d be so funny PLEASE

[screampied]

hiii !! first off congrats on 8k, you deserve it <3

secondly, don’t ask me what was i doing but i came across this article…

THIS SCREAMS STRIPPER GOJO SO BAD 😭😭 even satosugu (sugu was forced by satoru) and toji (he couldn’t afford to pay the fine so he had to find his way out)

anyways hope you have a great day and stay hydrated !! :b

HI MY WUV THANK YEW 💖💖🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

and LMFAOOOOOOO. that’s so canon. stripper gojo would def do that i feel like. lap dancing his way out of paying a hefty fine pls 😭😭😭

the toji slander 😭😭😭😭 and true sugu would be forced by satoru. ong imagine stripper geto ? OOOOOOO

thank u u tooooo !!!! xo

[john-mary-andco]

“Yoooo we got people watching us, John!”

“Oh…Great…”

“We have what?”

_____

Welcome to the second “John and Mary” ask blog! This one, the time is around when they were in high school, so obviously no Ryder yet (although you could technically send asks about him…for fun…). Here’s some info about some of the characters! More characters will come if people ask for them.

John Emerson- 16, sophomore; Kinda popular guy if I do say…Although he’s popular in the way that everyone is either SUPER nice to him (fake) or scared of him. He’s told people that he’s interested in becoming a cop, and most people tried to get on his good side so they “don’t get in trouble”…He tells them that’s not exactly how that works, but he’s given up at this point. At least he gets to avoid the bullying part of high school. He looks super scary and intimidating (which, he is…) but he’s also really cool and he’ll try to help a person out if they’re having a problem. (Ex: Driving a person home because they missed the bus, he lets people vent to him if he has the time, etc.) He overworks himself a LOT. He has a lot of freedom, but that’s only because his parents. Don’t. Really…care? He guesses that he wasn’t planned, and his parents weren’t really interested in taking care of him after he got to the age where he could take care of himself. Bro is a people pleaser, someone please tell him he’s doing a great job…

Mary Winters- 15, sophomore; She has a late birthday, but everyone assumes that she’s really smart because she’s a year younger than them (She’s a few months younger than John). She IS pretty smart, book wise. People and world wise…Not so much. She’s usually quiet, and focuses on her work. She isn’t picked on much. Nobody really knows she’s there half the time. Where John’s parents were neglecting, hers was controlling. She can’t do much of anything without their permission and supervision. God forbid she goes outside without telling them, she’ll get an earful about it later. All she knows is school, home, and that’s basically it. It seems like her parents don’t want her to…grow up. She doesn’t question it though, after all, it’s all she’s known. She gets absolutely petrified if a boy asks her out (joke or not), her parents would probably ground her if she said yes. She’s not even allowed to go out to eat without her parents being there…Give my girl some damn freedom PLEASE. 😭 (Don’t worry, John does eventually).

Altair Sterling- 14, freshman; He’s the new boy of the group. As a freshman, he used to get RELENTLESSLY bullied, before John took notice of it and people started backing off. He doesn’t really know a lot of people yet, but he’s already taken a liking to John, almost too much. He doesn’t understand it, but he gets abnormally happy when Emerson calls him over from across the hall after school lets out. They get to hang out? He wants to hang out with him? Hell yeah! He mostly likes his math and English classes, but he also likes psychology and space. He plans to become a sort of psychologist, maybe a therapist. He listens a lot…Maybe that’s a good career for him? Ah, he doesn’t know…It’s too early to start planning…But he wants to!

Andrew Barrett- 15, sophomore; He kinda acts like he’s an overly confident person, but he’s actually really insecure, it doesn’t help that he also gets bullied because of his weight. “Andrew, my guy, you don’t look that bad. You’re not unhealthy, you’re fine. Don’t listen to them-“ “Do you think I can do a cartwheel from this end of the classroom to the other when the teacher leaves to go to the bathroom?” “…God fucking damnit, Barrett…” He tries to tease and jokingly pick on John every chance he gets, and tells him ridiculous things that make a man want to throw something. It’s a surprise that John hasn’t kicked him down yet. He is a bro, however. If you need something, he’ll probably go to John because “Emerson knows all” and he’ll fix it for you. If he tries to help? He’ll probably ruin it or make things worse. He’s not one for liking any core subject, but he does like art class a lot. This is his second year taking an art class (it’s art 2, he’s not retaking-). He wants to become some sort of artist, but he doesn’t know which one yet; he likes painting and he doodles a lot in his notes, so maybe a painter?

Now, teacher names! Only the important ones, because 11th and 12th aren’t important.

Mrs. Littrell- 9th and 10th grade English teacher, she’s honestly really good at her job. Everyone loves her.

Mrs. J.- 10th grade math teacher, she’s overly happy, but she brightens her students days with her extraness, they love her (John hates her in the sense of “it’s too damn early for aLL THIS NOISE-“)

Mr. Carroll- 9th grade math teacher, literally so chill, but he also makes sure to get the quota for the day “listen guys, I don’t want to do this either, but I like my job, soooooo….”

Mrs. Kathrine- 9th and 10th grade science teacher, she has two sciences that she teaches: Biology, and Earth and Space. She gives the kids mental health days where “hey, if you have late work, turn it in RIGHT N O W, or it’s half credit for the rest of the year, win or lose, your choice.” She’s that teacher that has all the snacks and literally EVERYTHING a student would ever need stashed in her classroom closet.

Mr. Beach- 9th grade “US history 1” and 10th “US history 2” teacher, he’s similar to Mr. Carroll, but he’s more joking about it. “Oh, you don’t want to work today? Too bad, so sad, *hits his long ruler on the desk* DO IT.” He also taps the ruler on the top of his student’s heads when he’s teaching at the board, because bro is BORED and the reactions he gets are funny. Mary tries to duck away from the ruler, while John grabs it and tries to bonk him in the head with it. He’s lucky Mr. Beach doesn’t like to write people up. He’s strangely interested in all the wars. He also has a rubber duck collection up at the top of his cabinets, his students sacrifices their rubber ducks to him because he’s a cool teacher. Also he claims that he’s married to a woman, but LITERALLY EVERYONE thinks he’s a little gay. “Listen, Mr. Beach said he has a spouse, NOT a wife, plus he doesn’t have kids! HE’S A FA-“ “ANDREW BARRETT IF YOU DON’T SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

Mr. Lawrence- Psychology teacher, he’s THE sarcastic teacher but in the funniest way possible. He turns every complaint and weird comment thrown his way into a salty response. He hates presentations, he doesn’t want to grade them, so he gives the students a puzzle sheet and “claims” that it’s a grade for it. He grades SO SLOWLY. Literally every quarter, there’s at least one student BEGGING HIM to hurry up and grade. “Sorry guys, sports was crazy last weekend-“ “MR. LAWRENCE PLEASE MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO GROUND ME IF I DON’T GET AN A IN THIS CLASS- ITS A C- IT WOULD BE AN A IF YOU’D HURRY THE FRICK UP-“

——

I do believe that’s about it! Please no overly NSFW asks, we don’t do that here. However if it’s a “your mom” joke or something similar to that kind of suggestive, go ahead. They’ll probably make a remark back!

Important tags!

#johnask

#maryask

#altairask

#andrewask

#littrellask

#jask

#carrollask

#kathrineask

#beachask

#lawrenceask

And of course the characters that will be tagged in the post relating to the ask, but I don’t want to type that.

Please note that there’s obviously mentions of child neglect, discrimination, child abuse (…someone gets a little beat at home) and slightly suggestive language (it’s not THAT but y’know…Guys…being silly and joking around…)

Some asks will be drawn, some will be written!

Thank you, and here’s my main account if you need it@stanleyvampire14 -mod

[colliehollie]

I DONT REMEMBER MAKING THIS AT ALL LMAOO

[ectoplasmer]

yugioh getting a new switch release with a lot of the old games packaged into one and even some games that didn’t get an english release are being put on there so. cap mon english release soon maybe ???

[eggs-can-draw]

But like for this birthday I think it’s a slightly bigger event, which mean that it’s not the v1 cast but it’s them v2 and shuichis class v3

Now I think this is going to be havoc all around

But like imagine his classmate who don’t know who his parents are showing up at his house

Like you have this class mate who’s known for dropping cash but he works at mc Donald’s, you think nothing of it but then you come to his birthday at his house, and you think you got it wrong because you show up at a MANSION you still have doubts but you get to the gate and give them your invite and they let you in and who other but shuichi your mc Donald’s working class mate welcomes you

Like what are they to do in that situation

Also hajime still has kokichi on his leash and it’s the fifth one today

Also I need your thoughs please give me the honor of hearing them

A) all my aus are open source overstep as much as you want I love the thoughts

(Ok first I ran the numbers and that’s like 37 people lmao(including Nanami who attended via the roomba))

First off Kokichi starts a drinking game with Kaede (they’re drinking water dw) on how many friends are shocked upon realizing Shuichi Works-at-a-McDonalds-NaegiTogamiKirigiri lives here.

These two because as Shuichi’s resident co-best friends (they had an Epic Battle about it in the second grade and Shuichi officially declared them both his best friends) they’ve probably been over quite a few times over the years, notable mention that Kaito and Maki have definitely been over a few times as well

ALSO just. the sheer insanity. Shuichi casually showing his friends around and they're still highkey shocked. Homeboy has probably developed the habit of Not Bringing Up His Parents (not because of any relationship strain just cause. yknow. the celebrity thing lmao. Imagine meeting someone's parents and they're like "Oh I know them, I watched their friends die when I was younger.") so a lot of them just. had no idea. like yeah he may have mentioned like "oh yeah my dad works at Togami corp" "SHUICHI YOUR DAD IS THE FUCKING CEO OF TOGAMI CORP" "I mentioned he worked there didn't I?" or like "Yeah my dad works from home a lot but he also has to go on really long work trips" "Shuichi your dad is on an ad at the bus stop"

I feel like with absolutely everyone here, Shuichi's number one goal is to avoid Naegi getting out the baby photos (because we're looking at 16-17, and this is Shuichi, he would probably die on the spot if all his friends got to see the pumpkin video again) BUT ON TOP OF THAT we have Kokichi, who is trying to 4D chess his way into getting Naegi to pull out the baby photos (The rivalry may have calmed down but it will never die) So the two are silently battling it out with Naegi completely none the wiser. Also a silent and joking rivalry in Shuichi's class of just who can give him the best present. like nobody is getting violent but it's definitely become something HPA students even outside their class have started placing bets on. There's huge cash pools on the big players, Kokichi, Kaito, Kaede, and Maki, but it also became a gag to vote for Kiibo just to put the pressure on him to get a really good gift (for the lolz yknow?) and He's So Stressed The Whole Time.

also you and I both know Kokichi shoved Shuichi's head into his cake. Imagine it's become like a tradition at this point. they get a second smaller cake just for this weird tradition of theirs. Shuichi's just grown to accept it lmao.

[ssahotchnerr]

when I was a kid my parents dressed me up as a skunk because they couldn’t find a panda costume,, but they told me I was a panda😭 I feel like that’d be so funny with Ellie or Jack

omg how hilarious and adorable 😭😭😭

i feel like this is suchh an ellie thing!!! for months it was all she talked about - wanting to be a panda for halloween. and once spooky season arrived, both you and aaron are scouring all stores, amazon, attempting to find that panda costume for her 🥺

but as halloween nears closer, there's still no luck. you've also warned ellie; being honest with her that this is a hard costume to find, so maybeee think of another thing to be? but nope - her mind is made up. so one night as you and aaron are laying in bed - you're reading, he's on his laptop, just winding down from the day - he nudges you with an elbow, gaining your attention, and asks, "how about this?"

you peer at his screen, and once you see it's a skunk rather than a panda, you give him a look. like c'mon and aaron insists: ellie's not going to notice a difference. plus at this point, it's your best bet 😭

and she doesn't realize its a skunk at all 😭 but omg ellie is more than thrilled when you show her the costume, and insists its immediately put on 😭 you and aaron meet each other's eyes and both sigh in relief LOL

but jack 🤭😭 obviously he knows the difference between a panda and a skunk. his face fills up with utter confusion when he sees ellie running around the house as a skunk, claiming she's a 'panda', and opens his mouth to speak up.

but aaron interrupts him and says something along the lines of, "isn't she such a cute panda, jack?" with a pleading expression, also telling within his tone of voice - please. luckily jack does pick up on the plea and therefore plays along, "oh yeah, a panda!" 😭😭🫶🏻💓

in addition, everyone is told that ellie. is. a. panda. you get together with all the other bau kids and families for trick or treat, a small lil halloween party, and they too are told in advance, and will treat ellie as the little adorable 'panda' she is 🫵🏻😭 LOL derek giving aaron shit for it too - he just thinks its the funniest thing EVER and aaron is just 🙄🤨 standing there with his arms crossed and again, insists it's not she knows.

[whocaresstillthelouvre]

Green

Pairing: Jackson Joel Miller x Female Reader Chapter Rating: Explicit. 18+ (Minors DNI) Chapter Summary: Jackson believes in a green future, which includes marijuana. You like to get high. Tonight, Joel joins you and you get to treat him like he treats you. Chapter Warnings: Smut, marijuana use, soft dom reader, sub Joel, m receiving oral, unprotected p in v, riding Joel's thick thigh, you bite Joel's stomach (because it has to be done), Joel watching himself masturbate in your mirror, Joel drinks water out of your hands. Words: 5,100 A/N: Happy 4/20! I wanted to give you another entry akin to Golden Walkway, a little peek into the future of my Elks babies. Please note, this can be absolutely read without knowing any of the story.

Playlist

Times never change instead of hiding your illicit use from your parents, now you hide it from a teenager. Joel and you always lock yourselves away in your home so you can get high... just in case Ellie needs something. Can’t be a bad influence.

You pull the box of papers and weed out of the drawer before sitting down on your couch.

“So you never really smoked much?” you ask, leaning over your coffee table preparing to build your joint.

“Mm, never really was my thing, too risky if I got caught growing up in Texas during the 'Just Say No' years. Had football eligibility to worry about ‘n then Sarah came, just never was the time for me.”

He leans back into your armchair, brown eyes intently watching your actions. You begin to crumble weed up and place it on your rolling paper. 

“Makes sense, it’s good for me when my nerves really get to me,” you begin to roll your joint, “helps kinda soften the harsh lines of reality a lot. Makes my body and my mind a little freer.”

You lick your cigarette closed and admire your handiwork, welcoming the anticipation of being with Joel while stoned. 

The match sizzles as you strike it against the box and spark your joint, rotating it in your mouth to light it up. Joel chuckles as you inhale the first hit. 

“What’s so funny?” you ask in a cloud of exhaled smoke.

“Nothin'. Maybe I should get high, s'making me hard just watching you do this.”

“Oh yeah?” you sit back against the soft couch cushions, joint dangling from your lips. 

“Yeah, maybe I should start, never was one for smoking though.”

“Mm, I can help, I can just blow the smoke into your mouth if you want to try it." Your heart begins racing at the prospect of Joel taking you up on the offer.

“Sounds good sweetheart." He pats his lap. “Now, come sit with me, have nowhere to be tomorrow.”

You stand and grab the ashtray, resting the joint between your lips. Your bare feet pad across the plush carpet of the area rug as you walk over to Joel. 

“Hi,” you smile out with a small puff of smoke. 

“You look so cute like this, little cigarette sticking out of your mouth, eyes all cloudy and happy. Love it when my girl is happy.”

You giggle at his compliment as you lift your leg up to rest on the chair, your foot tightly fitting within what little room is left on the seat between Joel’s thick thighs. His mouth rests slightly agape when he looks up at you, his usual furrowed brow a lot less creased, more relaxed.

“I am happy,” you answer as his hands begin to massage your calf. “You look a lot less grumpier than you normally look. That makes me happy.”

“Oh really?” 

“Yep,” you say before inhaling another hit. 

“Why don’t you make me happier and sit on my lap, that’d make me really happy darlin’.”

A plume of smoke blows out of your lungs as you place yourself on Joel’s lap, knees bent against his thighs and the armrests. The denim covered shape of his half hard cock rests against your cotton shorts. Your tits underneath your faded and holey t-shirt are right at Joel’s eye level. 

“S’nice,” he whispers staring forward at your chest. 

“My eyes are up here Joel,” you chuckle at your own joke, taking another hit.

“I’d tell you to knock it off, but your whole body’s shaking against me ’n your tits are bouncing in my face,” Joel grins leaning forward and kissing a breast through your shirt. 

Fuck, now that feels amazing. 

You reach the joint out to him. “Hold this.”

He takes it between his fingers, eyes concentrating on you taking your shirt off. So much for relaxed Joel. He holds up the joint, still in his hands, to your lips.

“Take a hit baby,” his voice gravels out, his cock hardening underneath, “‘n lemme have some.”

You inhale and move your mouth to his, forming a tight seal between the two of you. Joel welcomes the smoke and sucks in as you blow out. 

You grab the joint from him and take another pull as he exhales, a white cloud of smoke floating above the two of you. Your body feels so much lighter, your brain less complicated. 

“Can I have that back?” he asks. “Want to do the same you did for me.”

You hand him the joint, smiling a silent agreement.

He brings it up to his mouth, holding it between his thumb and pointer, the joint disappears between his large fingers save for the glowing orange embers that light as he takes a hit. He looks so fucking tempting, his cheeks slightly puffing out filling with smoke. Everything Joel Miller does is hot, but the way he drags on a joint, pillowy lips wrapping around the white paper, broad shoulders rising when he breathes in, this might just be the hottest you’ve ever seen him. When will you ever get tired of looking at this man?

You bring your lips to his and he exhales into your mouth. Oh, this is the best way to get high. You pull away, releasing the smoke from your lungs.

“‘Bout shot, don’t you think?” he raises the joint and looks at it.

“It’s shot."

He stubs the joint put in the ash tray. A luxurious comfortable groan leaves his lips when he looks at you, eyes heavier than usual, a little red and glazed. You’ve seen his eyes glazed over with lust numerous times, this glaze is a little lighter, a little happier. You scoot farther up his lap and move a finger up to pet the smoothness of the little heart patch in his beard. 

“How are you feeling?” you ask as Joel’s hands trace up and down your back. 

“Good, real good,” a deep exhale out of his lips answers. 

“Relaxed?” You ask, your finger moving to brush back and forth across his lips. 

“Mm.”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this free before. A light smile underneath half shut eyes staring back at you, his whole face more relaxed. He looks good this way, you love when he’s happy and relaxed, you’ve never met anybody more deserving.

“Feels good,” Joel says as you rub your finger across his soft lower lip. A deep breath leaves his half parted lips, the air blowing against your finger. “Real good.”

“Good,” your hand moves to trace around his top lip, the hair of his mustache bristles against your finger. “I like making you feel good.” 

You feel the the lines around his lips rise when he smiles. “You’re so good at it baby.”

“Yeah? What do you like the most?”

“Mm, s'hard to pick. Love the way your eyes always blink as you cum for me, can always tells how good you’re feelin’ by how big your eyes get right before. Love the little gasp you always make when I start fuckin’ you. Love that you grab for my hands at any chance you get, like you need to touch me as much as you can. Love that you always need me.” The last sentence comes out the softest.

“I do need you,” you confess, “all the time.”

“I know baby,” he hugs you against his chest, “I need you too… so much.” 

“But, I do also need you for sex stuff, you know?"

Joel’s chuckle vibrates against you. “My girl’s funny, real funny.”  

“But really, what do you need tonight Joel?” You pull away from his chest and look him in the eyes. You love it when he compliments you, you love it when he calls you his girl. You love that he needs you just as much as you need him. 

“I need you to tell me what you want from me tonight.  Make me yours. Talk to me like I talk t’ya.” Joel’s eyes staring into yours as they widen with his admission. “I’m yours baby.”

A bit of trepidation lands in your brain. Joel’s always the one to depend on to chart the stars of your intimacy. He’s so good at predicting what you want, you let him navigate. The thoughts are silenced once you feel his hands move along your hips and thighs. You can tell he wants you to do this for him. You want Joel to experience what you feel after he’s done with you. You want him to believe in you like you believe in him. You sit up higher on him, feeling braver and bolder. Ready to bless him for his confession. 

“Okay. I’m going to get up, walk to the kitchen to get something to drink, and when I come back, I want you to stand in front of my mirrored wall over there. Keep your clothes on.”

You’re shocked by the confidence in your voice. Joel as well, his hands pause their movement as you speak. He stares at you, his mouth slightly open in surprise. 

You rise up off of Joel, folding your arms across your naked chest. “Understand?”

“Y-y-yes,” Joel stutters. 

“Good,” you wink and turn towards the kitchen, your confident steps leaving a bewildered Joel in your chair. You’ve never acted like this, your brain swirling with ideas of what you want to do, what you want to say, how you want to make him feel. 

You grab two glasses out of your cupboard and fill them with water. Your mouth is parched, you’re sure Joel’s is too. You walk back to your living room, your courage building with each step closer. You know you’re ready when you see Joel standing as instructed in front of your mirror. 

“Hi handsome,” you walk to stand behind him, still topless and only in your shorts, his eyes moving from looking at his own reflection to your chest. You wouldn’t expect less from him, you love how he looks at you.

“Hi,” Joel whispers. You think he’s a little nervous, a little excited, he probably feels exactly how you feel. 

“I’m going to watch you watch yourself get undressed. I want you to listen to me and follow my directions, okay?”

“Yes,” his simple answer resolutely spoken as you put the waters down and turn the lamp on besides you, the light bathing both of you in a smoldering golden hue. You want to fully be able to watch Joel do what you have planned for him.

“Good, I don’t want to hear much from you, okay? I’m the one talking.” 

You like this feeling, you especially like the serious nod Joel gives you through the mirror. 

“Take your shirt off.”

You watch Joel’s hands move to the hem of his t-shirt and lift it over his head. 

“Give it to me,” you step forward and extend a hand out. 

The soft gray fabric is still warm with Joel’s body heat as it hits your hand. You bring it to your nose and inhale his scent. “You smell so good all the time. I love the scent of you.” You take one last sniff before putting his shirt on, his smell now encompassing you.

“Wh—“ 

“Quiet,” you interrupt Joel’s protest, “I don’t want to hear anything out of you, I want to smell like you and wear your shirt while I make you feel good.” 

He looks a little annoyed, you like that. 

“Look at your chest. It’s perfect. I love how your shoulders are so wide and so strong. I love how your arms are muscular and yet they’re so soft when I rest my head against them. I love how soft your stomach has gotten meaning you’re well fed and healthy. You like the praise baby?”

Joel nods as his eyes darken hearing you call him one of the pet names he always calls you.

“Unbutton and unzip your pants, but don’t take them off.” Your pussy getting wetter at the thought of the sights that you’re about to see, all directed by you. All broadcast on your mirror. 

Joel nods, as he unbuttons his jeans, his fingers move to his zipper and pulls it down. You love that he never wears underwear when he comes over. You love how you can see the trail of hair from his belly button down to his bush. He’s the perfect amount of hairy. He’s the perfect amount of manly. He’s just fucking perfect.

“Good. You’re thirsty right?” He nods. You lean over to the table and pick up a glass of water. “Drink all of this. Want to watch your neck move as you swallow it down.” 

Joel takes the glass and brings it to his lips, his eye contact not breaking with yours through the reflection. He takes a large gulp brows wrinkling with seriousness for the task at hand, no matter how significant or insignificant it is. It’s so Joel.

“I love watching you drink. I love how small the mug looks in your hand when you drink your coffee in the morning. I love how you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand after downing a whole glass of water when you’re hot. I love how gently form your lips around a glass of whiskey.” You finish your praise as he empties the glass, taking it from him and placing it on the table. 

“Good. Feel better?” 

He nods.

“Take your pants off,” you think of what Joel would say in this moment. “Lemme see all of you.” 

He smirks as he starts to move his jeans down his hips, he knows you’re going to love this part. His cock springs out as it’s freed, fully erect and throbbing, you knew you’d get him good and hard with your attitude. He bends over to shuck his jeans fully off, kicking them to the side, and when he stands up, shoulders back, dick hard and ready to follow your instructions, you almost fall to your knees. 

“God, you’re so fucking hot, baby,” you breathe out. His smirk still remains, he knows what he does to you. 

Your eyes roam his body, he’s so large and so thick, his body screams protector. He’s your protector. He provides for you. You love that you get to love him and make him feel this way. 

“I’m thirsty, why don’t you hand me my glass?” You love how seriously he follows your commands, like it’s the only thing that matters in the world. You love how powerful it makes you feel to see Joel readily do your every request. 

Joel turns towards the table and picks up the glass, handing it to you. 

“Thank you.” 

Another nod. 

You quickly drink the water down, save for the last quarter of it. “You’re still thirsty, aren’t you?”

This time it’s not just one slow nod from Joel, it’s three quick nods. He’s thirsty.

“Then come stand here in front of me.” 

You’ve enjoyed watching him from a couple of feet back, standing far enough to be able to see all of him in the mirror. Now that he’s right in front of you though, this is how you like him the most. Right beside you. 

You empty the rest of the water into your mouth, your cheeks swelling out with the amount you’re holding. You bring your palms up to your mouth and cup them together. Joel begins to breathe heavily as he watches you spit the water into your makeshift hand bowl.

“Now, drink it up,” you order.

He moves so fast, so eager to please. Joel’s head quickly craning down as his brown eyes look up at you. Your heart begins to race as his tongue comes out of his mouth and begins to lap up the water out of your hand. “I love how you’re looking up at me, you look at me the same way when you eat me out.” 

Joel grunts as he leans further forward and starts to suck the water up from your hand, never breaking eye contact. The groove of his dimple getting deeper as his cheeks hollow and he sucks up all of the water.

Now you wear Joel’s cocky smirk just like his shirt. You get to know him like he knows you, you get to play with his body like he plays with yours.

“Very good.” You move your hands to wrap around his erection, the slickness of the water allowing you to easily stroke him. A gruff breath leaves Joel’s mouth, the air landing against your face. You only leave your hands on him for a couple pumps, just enough until he begins to arch his back. His eyes widen as you remove your hands, a small “mmf” is let out of his pursed lips.

“I know, I know, I know you want more. You’ll get it soon. You’re being real well behaved for me, aren’t you?” 

Another nod. Joel still hasn’t spoken a word, you miss his voice but you also like to watch him challenge himself to stay quiet. 

“Face the mirror again Joel.”

He likes it when you say his name, he’s told you so many times how he likes to hear your voice say his name. 

“Touch yourself for me Joel.” 

His heavy eyes slowly shut as he bites his bottom lip with a moan, he liked that… a lot. He opens his eyes and with a look of determination, he spits in his hand before moving it down and gripping his shaft as he looks at you for his next command. 

“Stroke yourself for me.” 

He begins to slowly pump himself, savoring and watching himself in the reflection. His gaze anchoring in on pleasuring himself.

You wonder when the last time he did this was.

“When’s the last time you made yourself cum?” His movements falter as he looks up at you and takes in your question. “Go ahead, you can talk, tell me.” 

“That last night you were painting f’me,” a half smile shows up on his face as he begins to stroke again. 

Now you’re the one who only nods, your words lost at his confession. “Go on,” you muster up. You need to hear more. 

“Went to bed that night, ’n all I could see was your pretty eyes lookin’ up at me, how you looked in those overalls, I felt like I could still feel your lips on mine.” His strokes getting quicker, his hand pausing as he twists his hand around his tip. “Was so hard for you, had to take care of things before I could fall asleep.” 

Your whole body shivers, his words making your pussy begin to drip out onto your shorts. The look of his face as he recalls his memories. Those words added to all of his others that prove to you again that you have Joel’s heart, mind and body. He is yours. 

“God. Th—that’s good,” you breathe out, your eyes widening when you watch him bite his lip as he squeezes his cock. He has you flustered, and he knows, his mouth grinning into the signature cocky smirk he gets whenever you get like this. As if his sense of self blooms whenever he makes your heart race. 

You can’t allow him this pleasure over you, you’re the one in control tonight. You remind yourself that this is what Joel wants. You steel yourself and stand a little taller. 

“Stop,” you bark out. 

He obeys, mouth slacking open in shock at your raised voice. His hand unwrapping from around himself. 

“Good job, I think you were getting a little too comfortable, weren’t you?” 

Joel just stares at you, seems he forgot to nod. 

“I can’t let you have the power tonight, can I? Acknowledge me Joel.”

“N—no,” an actual stutter from Joel Miller’s mouth. Not a grunt, not a short one word answer, an actual nervous stutter. 

“That’s right. Now, I think you’ve had too much fun putting on a show for me. Go sit in the middle of the couch.” 

He nods, his broad frame passes by you, he doesn’t even take the time to look at you. 

You follow behind and wait until he takes a seat. You love seeing Joel on your couch, in your bed, using one of your bowls to eat oatmeal out of. You love seeing him in your space, all comfortable and domestic, but seeing him now naked on your couch, his hard cock sitting straight up, his large hands sitting atop his strong thighs, shoulders taking up most of the backrest of his seat, sitting ready to listen to your commands.  This is how you really like to see him. He’s fucking gorgeous. 

“So, you had your fun with your body, I want to have my fun with your body,” you stand over him. Now your body gets to loom over his. 

You bring the collar of Joel’s shirt up to your nose, inhale deeply and moan. “Have I told you before how much I love how your smell? Sometimes I’ll be wearing one of your shirts to bed I’ll smell your scent on it and it’ll make me wet while I’m trying to go to sleep.” The sound from Joel’s mouth makes you bolder. “One night, I might just knock on your door, in only your shirt and my jacket, make you help me take care of what smelling you does to me. Would you like that?” 

Joel shudders and furiously nods.

“Ohh, had a feeling you would,” you chuckle as you remove his shirt off of you. “I’m going to do something I've been wanting to do, okay?”

A nod, a groan, and a sigh now. The more reactions you get at once, the more you know how good you’re doing. 

You pull down your shorts, and kick them aside. His fingers grip into his thighs, his forearms straining at the sight of you. He’s going through it. 

“Can you see me glisten for you baby?” You ask as you lift your foot onto the couch cushion and snake your hand down in between your legs. “See how wet I got watching you touch yourself for me?” You take a finger and run it across your folds gathering your wetness. You hold it up for Joel, his eyes glued to your finger. “Open your mouth.” 

He listens. You slide your finger into his mouth, his lips forming around it, a low moan vibrating against it. 

“Put your hands on the couch, you can’t touch me, you can only watch. Okay?” 

Joel obeys. He still sucks your finger as you straddle his thigh. His skin radiates heat against you once you place your wet pussy on it. You’ve wanted to do this since you saw his bare legs for the first time, his thighs are so muscular and yet so supple, much like the rest of his features. Joel groans as you begin to ride his thigh, rubbing yourself back and forth against his skin. 

“You like how wet my pussy feels on your thigh?” You pull your finger out of his mouth. “Answer me Joel. Want to hear your voice.”

“Yes.”

“What do you like?” 

“Your wet pussy on my th— I like your wet pussy on my thigh,” his low cadence and the pressure against your aching cunt pushing you close to your orgasm.

“I’m going to make myself cum on your thigh, okay? I’m so close.” You begin to grind your hips down on his his thigh, putting the perfect amount of friction against your clit. 

Your hands splay against Joel’s chest, feeling his breaths and his moans rumble against your palms.

“I’m gonna cum on your thigh Joel.” You grab and pull on his chest hair as your climax reaches you, cresting over and spilling onto Joel’s thigh as you grind against it. Joel’s eyes boring into you looking forlorn and tortured that he can’t touch you as you cum on him. 

You rest your head against his shoulder as you catch your breath. You need to recover quickly, you’re ready to ride him. 

Joel grumbles as you stand back up. 

“Would you look at that? Look down baby, look how wet I got your thigh.” You place your hands on his thighs, a hand resting in the puddle of your slick left on his skin. You lean forward as he looks down and nibble the bare skin of his heart patch before licking your way down his neck and chest. “Should probably clean that up, huh?” You ask as your rest your lips against the plush of his belly before gently biting it. 

He groans as you move your mouth down, bypassing his hard cock to the side. You stick your tongue out and lick a long stripe up his thigh tasting yourself as you clean his skin. His breathing turns more labored as he watches you lick yourself up.

“Mm, wonder how I’d taste licking my cum off your cock?” You ask, nuzzling your head into his crotch, his hard cock throbbing against your cheek.

His hips jut as you turn your head and kiss the shaft of him. 

“You’re going to cum fast for me, aren’t you?” You leave a kiss on his shaft higher than your last one.

“I love how hard you always cum for me,” another kiss moving your way up his hardness. 

“I love the way you fuck my mouth while you cum down my throat,” another kiss.

“I love the way my name sounds as you chant it when I make your legs shake,” another kiss right under his tip.

“I love how your cum tastes as I lick it from my lips,” another kiss on his tip, tasting the precum collected on it. 

“Fuck,” he finally utters, not being able to hold back as you lick along the trail of where you just kissed him.

“Shhhh,” you silence against the soft skin of his firmness. “I think it’s about time for me to fuck you, before you get any more ideas about talking.”

Another deep exhale from him, his nose flaring in frustration. You fucking love this. 

“Put your hands on the top of your head, and don’t you dare lower them. Don’t touch me, okay?”

Joel nods raising his hands as you plant yourself back on the couch, straddling his legs. His eyes follow your body, his brows a bit more furrowed now. 

You hover your pussy over his cock, leaving enough space between the two of you that if he really wanted, he could raise his hips and stick his cock in, but he doesn’t. He wants to do good for you. 

“Open your mouth,” you angle your head forward, your lips right in front of his. Joel’s mouth opens, his heavy breathing hitting you in the face, as you lick into his mouth.

You swirl your hips over his cock slowly lowering yourself on him, you’re so soaked for him he easily slides into you. 

A long sigh escapes the back of his throat as you begin to ride him. You pull back from his mouth and rest your hands against his chest. His hands still sit on top of his head, you glance up and see how he’s grabbing at his hair in exasperation. 

He watches as you move your hands from his chest to yours, cupping your breasts and playing with your nipples. 

“Like watching me touch my tits like the way you do? Like how I pinch and pull my nipples like you?”

High pitched moans and groans of frustration leave his mouth. Joel Miller is whimpering. 

“Shhhh, shhh, I know baby. Now quiet. Want to hear my wet pussy ride you, stay quiet,” you say grabbing his jaw and pushing his mouth shut. 

You begin fucking him harder, the sound of your wet cunt bouncing on him and his whimpers the only sounds in the room. You lean forward and rest your head in the juncture between his head and shoulder. You slam yourself up and down on him, the rapidness of your movements matching the rapidness of your heart as you bring yourself close to your orgasm.

Your back straightens as you place your hands on his biceps, staring in his big brown eyes as your body snaps, your pussy clutching his cock as you cum around Joel. He bites his bottom lip fighting his orgasm for as long as he can. His biceps straining against your grasp as you feel his body begin to quake. 

“Clooooose,” he husks. You slip out of him, moving quickly on shaky legs through the aftershocks of your orgasm kneeling down in front of him. His hands are still in his hair as he looks down at you, watching you seal your mouth over him. You bob your head up and down on him as he cums down your throat. 

You swallow all of him down as he chants your name. His hands lower, resting against the hollows of your cheeks as you still keep his softening cock in your mouth.

You stare up at him, his hair left awry and twisted from his hands, eyes wide and still blown out as he blinks down at you, his chest rising and falling still catching his breath. He looks at you, like you’re the only thing in this world. You are the center of his universe. 

[itneverendshere]

alrighty imagine rafe feeling jealous for the first time in his life and absolutely not knowing how to navigate through it, so he just takes it out on you 🤗 he's down bad so it's funny

just a lil something for y'all:

rafe cameron does not get jealous.

why would he? he has the world at his feet—wealth, status, popularity, and seemingly limitless opportunities. got everything he wants and needs in his perfect kook-life, right? there’s absolutely nothing that could make him envious of others. he’s been moving through life with a sense of entitlement, accustomed to getting what he wants when he wants it.

that earth-shattering confidence translates into his sexual life. if there was such a thing as mastering the subtle art of not giving a fuck, god, he’d get a nobel prize for that shit. 

rafe likes to indulge in the pleasures of his fantastic mortal life without the burden of attachment of commitment, just thinking about tying himself up to someone else makes him want to drive his jeep into the nearest wall. 

that’s not the life he wants. that kind of bullshit gets people depressed or killed; he’s seen enough of that kind of misery in his lifetime. 

he knows he’s got a reputation by now. it precedes him, and he revels in it. and people say he’s a bad guy? please, he’s doing the entire female community a favor. there’s no point in restricting his independence for one person. 

no feelings involved, no clinging, and no, he’s not fucking cuddling someone after he just blew his load into their back. The women he involves himself with know what they’re getting themselves into when they open their pretty legs for him.

 it’s great. 

no stupid headaches, no fights, no “why didn’t you text me back?”, complete radio silence unless they want something from him or vice versa. sure, there have been a few girls who needed a collective reminder of his rules, which he does by always cutting them off.

no one’s ever made him want to throw his philosophy out the window. can you imagine that happening? rafe cameron…feeling…something other than complete horniness for someone else? enough to make him want to commit capital murder when someone else thinks they’re entitled to touch what’s his?

no, of course not.

that’d be insane. completely impossible. rafe cameron would never get his perfect hands dirty with filth. not in this universe or lifetime. 

or so he thought. 

“you have a real problem, you know that?”

if looks could kill he’d be seven feet under. you’re shooting daggers at him through your pretty eyes, hands settling on your hips. if he wasn’t raging with misplaced anger issues, he’d tell you how fucking beautiful you look tonight.

“me?” rafe grits out as he sticks his fingers into his chest, “you want to talk about problems, sweetheart?” his words drip with venom, a thinly veiled attempt to deflect the intensity of his own emotions.

you don’t back down, though, gaze steady and unwavering as you meet his challenge, “i’m not the one who just punched the living shit out of someone else!”

rafe's lip curl into a mocking smirk. "whose fault is that?” he quips, the barb aimed squarely at your intellect.

a violent urge to strangle him takes hold of you, anger nipping at your skin, “what the hell is wrong with you?”

he doesn’t know why he did it. all he remembers was that in that moment, while watching you entertain someone else, he wanted to snap someone’s neck in half. and he’d be damned if he didn't get what he wanted. 

rafe’s head tilts, oh so slowly, to the side, pretty blue eyes burning your skin, “i’m not the one letting some sleazy bastard get their hands under my slutty dress.”

that didn’t come out right. 

it made much more sense in his head. he doesn’t want to admit it, doesn’t want to acknowledge the gnawing jealousy that threatens to consume him whole.

“slutty dress?! this is vintage versace you possessive lunatic!”

“so fucking what?” he saunters closer, seemingly calm, except that’s the one thing that he never is, “did they run out of fabric in Italy?”

you watch him, a little mesmerized by the way the moonlight accentuates his features, heart pounding. he stops in front of you.

you must’ve taken a good hit to the head if you believe rafe cameron feels anything for you besides some sort of allure to your cunt. you know better than that. you open your mouth to speak, but rafe’s quick to lift one of his hands, tapping your lip with his finger.

“this is supposed to be like— a casual thing, right?” he exhales a breath, voice barely louder than a murmur.

you tip your chin up, “what are you getting at?’”

 “no strings. so, i really shouldn't be this fucking pissed about seeing you post a picture with that asshat face, smiling, his arm around you. that stupid fucking caption.”

straightening your posture, you don’t let his sugar-coated confession get to you, remaining silent for the time being. what’s his deal? is the devil spawn...confessing?

“speaking of photos…i just looked at a really cute one of you before, can you guess which one?”

and watch that picture be the one where you're on all fours in his truck's backseat lmao😃👀

[saatorubby]

BABY PULL ME CLOSER - G. SATORU

SYNOPSIS : your boyfriend is in dire need for your attention. unfortunately for him, it’s the finals week.

a/n : im loving writing for jjk and this man makes me so ill about him.

GENRE : fluff

PARINGS : student!gojo satoru x student!reader

WARNINGS : mention of childhood pet dying once. reader is referred to as girlfriend.

The finals week was here.

Usually, there is nothing wrong with that, except for being overworked, stressed, and dehydrated, but for gojo satoru, that wasn't the worst.

No, far from worst. For him, the worst thing was being unable to be with his cute and pretty girlfriend.

"Without whom I'll die." he once declared.

There was he now, dreamily staring at you as all of your attention was stolen by those goddamn books. Satoru swears he's gonna burn them all one day.

He wonders whether those dried trees are more important to you than your loving boyfriend, him, who has been begging for your attention for days.

He huffs as his begging stare seems to have no effect in melting your cold, cold heart. Though he has to admit, the concentrated pout and the furrow of your brows do look cute on you as you slave away on the revision and assignments and last-minute projects.

He's tried everything that he could do without your presence. Played games with suguru, and caught up with his friends (which is just suguru and a very pretty and chill lady, ieiri, despite him being popular). Now, he can't go out and get food without his lovely girlfriend, could he? no, that'd be blasphemy through and through.

"Babyyy." he whined for the umpteenth time, laying on your bed as he mindlessly scrolled through social media to find topics to talk shit about with you later.

You sighed and turned to him, exasperated with his antics.

"Can we go and get food?" he asked as his bottom lip jutted in a pout you couldn't say no to. He knows you can't say no to that face, it's too cute.

"Satoru," you stared, frowning. "We've talked about this," you told him, conflicted. You wanted to take up on his offer, you do. You want to take a break too. But you just have so much work. You aren't sure you'd be able to complete it if you stopped even for a minute.

“My love, my darling, my sugarplum honey bun, can we please go and get McDonald’s?” He pleaded.

Gojo Satoru was simply irresistible.

From the first time you’ve met him, you’ve found out that he’s scarily good at getting people to do what he wants.

He looks so cute like that. His pretty eyes watery, his soft, pink lips formed into a pout, his face flushed.

He’s always gotten his way with a face like that.

So you’ve taken it upon yourself to be more resilient and tell him no. He needs to learn.

Also it’s funny how he always looks aghast after you’ve denied him something, like you’ve told him his childhood pet died or something.

“No, toru, we can’t.” You shook your head, looking up at him. You don’t dare try suggest that your boyfriend help with your work, not after…last time where both of you got distracted and ended up making out instead of getting it done.

“I have to get this paper in by tomorrow.” You said firmly, turning back to your work, holding back a snicker as he gasped dramatically.

Here it comes.

“So you don’t love me anymore, huh? Is that it?” He said, narrowing his eyes at your form, hunched over your desk. He takes it back, you’re not cute anymore.

“Is your love for me really that weak, baby?” He lamented. “That’d you’d break under the pressure this easily?” He cried.

“Do you want me to kick you out?” You take it back, he’s not cute.

“Then you won’t be able to see me for real.” You muttered, but it was enough for him to hear.

That made him shut up real quick.

[paradoxproductions]

This is been many years in the making and I’m happy to finally announce I have stickers available! Both my bugs, and some funny sarcastic star emoji stickers are available on my kofi shop! The bug stickers even has an add on to get the matching print for only $5!

I have been so excited to make these! So, if you’d like to help a very broke / low income disabled queer who’s art has been constantly stolen and sold as stickers on the internet by getting some legitimate stickers, that’d be awesome! The price is also super negotiable, and if you’d like some but can’t afford the price point just DM me and we can work something out!

Reblogging would also be cool and helpful to help me reach my target audience!

I will absolutely be making bigger and better themed sticker sheet sets very soon if this isn’t something you fancy, so stay tuned for that!

(Also please ignore how in all the photos the stickers are uncut and have some smearing. I’m still working out my printer settings and they’re uncut to show size reference, they’re printed on high quality 8.5x11 glossy sticker paper, and no A Grade orders will have any ink smearing and all stickers will be pre cut before shipping!)

[papaya-twinks]

Failed relationship with Lando and he comes back to her:

“Why did you have to come back? Why? I was doing so well without you.”

Warnings: Angst 🤗

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader

Lando had left you 18 months ago, because he was too afraid to hold onto a relationship that was more than a fling. Because he wanted just sex and nothing with you. And finally, he was out of your life, and you were thriving, you were closer with your friends and was staying at one of your friend’s, Lily’s, house. 

“Y/N,” Lily said, walking down the stairs, “me and Alex are going to be going out for some golf, wanna come?”. You nodded, standing up. “That’d be cool, sure,”. She was aware of your breakup with your boyfriend, and though she was a close friend, you truly hadn’t told any one of just who you were dating. 

You changed into a tennis skirt and a white cropped tank top, finishing with one of Lily’s golf visors before going down the stairs, seeing her standing with her boyfriend. “Right,” Alex said as Lily sat in the passenger seat and you sat in the back, “I’ve got someone else coming too,” he said, “a friend,”. You were pretty decent friends with Alex too, but you’d never been golfing with them and anyone else before. 

“He’s chill,” Lily said, as Alex parked into the parking lot. Lily handed you the golf clubs as she took the balls, walking onto the large green field. “He should be here soon,” Alex said, leading us into the pitch as you turned to Lily, idly chatting to her as we waited. “There he is,” Alex said. You turned around - probably the biggest mistake of your life.

You had gone on over a year without seeing Lando, and here he was, in the flesh, in front of you. Your eyes locked with his immediately, your face emotionless as you stared. “I’m going home,” you decided, dropping the equipment in your hand and turning round. “Wait, Y/N,” Lando grabbed your hand, following you as Alex and Lily stayed back. “Please, just hear me out,” he said, almost pleading, “breaking up with you was a mistake, I-,”

“Why did you have to come back? Why? I was doing so well without you,” your words were simple - harsh, but true and simple. You saw the physical distress etched upon his face at your words. So now he wanted you back. “Funny, that,” you added, your words full of spite as you turned, leaving him standing alone

[pedrilcvr]

could u write fluff for pau cubarsi? like reader goes over to his house and while he's listening to her talk about her day he looks so in love and she teases about him

Ever seen — Pau Cubarsí.

Pairing: Pau Cubarsí x Fem!Reader

Summary: You notice a certain look in your boyfriends eyes while you’re talking and you can’t help but point it out.

Disclaimer/s: just fluff!

A/N: the bf ever please.

Sitting across the dinner table from your boyfriend, you set your fork down. “Oh! I forgot to mention, Allison tripped over a curb today when we were going to the mall. I actually almost tripped myself, ‘cause I was laughing so hard.” An amused smile makes it’s way onto your lips as you recount the events from earlier that day.

Pau hums, chuckling softly. “She’s always tripping over something. Did you buy anything today?”

You nod, eyes widening, “I got the prettiest dress, it’s pink and has flowers, you’ll love it. And I got—“ As you ramble on about the clothes you’d bought and the other things you’d done today, you notice a far off look in Pau’s eyes.

You stop talking, examining the small smile on his face, the dazed look in his eyes. You recognize it immediately, it’s the same way you look at him.

“And then I jumped off a bridge and onto a boat.” You quirk an eyebrow, watching him hum and nod. “Pau.”

He blinks, clearing his throat and straightening your posture. “Yeah?”

Giggling, you loll your head to the side. “You’re not even paying attention.”

“Was too!?” He tries to argue, and you give him a knowing look.

“You’re looking at me like I put the stars in the sky.” You tease, propping your elbows up and resting your head in your palms.

The corner of Pau’s lip pulls upward. “To me, you did.”

Corny. But nonetheless, a smile appears on your face. “Cute. But still, i’m trying to tell you how my day was, so if you could stop gawking at me for a few minutes, that’d be greatly appreciated.”

Pau lets out a defeated sigh, “okay, full attention. I’ll try.”

As you continue on with your daily recount, you notice him slipping back into the same loving look, like he was more attentive to you than the actual conversation at hand.

“Pau!” You laugh, “why do you keep looking at me like that!”

“Sorry, sorry!” He throws his hands up in defense, “I just love watching you talk, you are very.. expressive. It’s cute.”

Your cheeks hurt with how wide you were smiling, you’d certainly won the boyfriend lottery. “Okay, loverboy. Let’s change the subject, how was your day?”

“Perfect, now that i’m with you—“

“Enough with the cheesy talk.” You quip, rolling your eyes playfully. “What’s gotten into you lately?”

Pau mirrors you, putting his chin in his palms, “is it so wrong for me to just love my girlfriend? Do you want me to scowl every time you talk?”

“Oh—well, no. I digress! Apologies for finding it amusing that you can’t stop staring at me..!”

“Yeah, yeah. Anyways, you were saying? Something about dropping your food on the ground?” Pau moves his now, probably cold, food aside.

“Right, okay, but pay attention this time. Very funny story.” You point at him accusatorially.

“Okayyy.” He sighs, “fine!” And with that you continue your story, paying close attention to Pau to make sure he’s listening.

“You know,” he interrupts, “you have the prettiest eyes i’ve ever seen.”

Your face flushes a bright red, “Pau!” He definitely was not listening.

DTS , @halfwayhearted !

[ghosts-bandwagon]

can we have a headcannon of y/n (female) thats throwing dark humour around everytime and have 141 + Rudy, Alejandro nd konig react to her lmao 🤣

Can we have that? 💜 Thank you

Girl. Literally me. (I give my coworkers whiplash but they dish it pretty good too lmao)

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley:

Might actually get a decent laugh out of him, we’ve all heard his horrendous hilarious jokes, so we all know he can dish it, but can he take it? Depends on the type of humor

If it’s self-depreciating, probably not. Doesn’t really get it? Like he does but he sees you too positively for the humor to click.

Unalive jokes? Definitely not. Hates hearing it from you even if you’re laughing about it, so if you want to make them, you better be cheeky about it (“Head down, sergeant you’ll get spotted.” “Aw sweet, you think so?” You don’t have to be near him or even see him to feel his glare)

Jokes about your traumas? Not super keen on it but if you’re at a point in your life that you feel ok enough to laugh about it, he’s not one to take wind out of your sails (“Damn, this drink hits harder than my dad.” “Sweetheart. Please.”

But if your jokes are similar to his, then your chances of getting a laugh out of him went up exponentially (he thinks he’s so god damn funny and he’s right. king.)

“How do you turn a salad into a Cesar salad?”

“How?”

“Stab it 23 times.” Soap audibly groaned,

“That’s my girl.”

All in all, you’ll get a deep sigh with pinching the bridge of his nose for every joke you make, and maybe you’ll get a pretty laugh from him (god I bet his laugh is so nice 😭)

John ‘Soap’ MacTavish:

(laughs nervously) what the fuck?

He’s heard Ghost’s jokes firsthand, so the dark humor isn’t new to him. He might even laugh with you and crack a few of his own

Honestly, as long you’re having a laugh he’s not really that worried (still a little worried tho)

He trusts that if you’re feeling particularly bad about something, you’d talk to him about it and he’s here for that

He kind of enjoys the theatre of it, the dramatic reactions to something so seemingly mundane,

“So when are you gonna take me out?”

“To dinner? We just ate, bonnie.”

“… not what I meant but I love where your heads at.”

“Not in a million years.” He laughs kissing your temple and squeezing you against him

“So you’re saying there’s a chance? It’s just a matter of when, got it. Thanks babe, I owe you”

John Price:

He’s not thrilled about it but he’s worked with Ghost so he’s somewhat built a tolerance

He knows you sometimes use dark humor as a coping mechanism but he’ll tease you saying you should come with a warning label

He’s definitely choked at hearing some of the things come out of your mouth, at least the jokes relating to your own traumas, those always give him whiplash

He finds your situational dark humor much funnier than anything you might say that involves you being harmed, even if it is a joke that’s kind a nightmare scenario for him

Those will definitely get a chuckle out of him, just please stop making jokes about yourself, he loves you a little too much to stomach them

“What does my dad have in common with Nemo?” He refuses to answer, he knows, he fucking knows

“They both can’t be found.”

God damn it, sweetheart

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Gerrick:

He’ll join you for sure lmao

He’ll see you sparring on the mats with Soap and he sees you land a particularly rough kick that he managed to block

“Damn babe, that was clean. Now do it right here.” He’s pointing at his temple, you laugh and throw your sweaty towel at him

You’re out on recon and you’re making your way towards the targeted area,

“I’d be terrible if I was discovered, sure hope there aren’t any snipers to take me out. That’d be awful.”

Price groaned even as Kyle stifled a chuckle,

“Come on, love, we’re a bit too good to let that happen to you.”

“That’s the real tragedy, honestly.”

“Enough, you two.”

König:

He thinks you’re funny but low key a little worried at how easily the jokes come to you

But if you’re laughing and having a good time, then so is he!

Sometimes you really do say some crazy things and he doesn’t know whether to laugh or to hug you

He likes the jokes that have nothing to do with you much better, you’d be sitting at a briefing in the far corner when you lean in and whisper quietly,

“Köni, what’s red and bad for your teeth?”

“Hm?”

“A brick.”

He stifles a laugh and shakes his head, you can see the corners of his eyes crinkle as he tries to hide the smile.

Alejandro Vargas:

Honestly, he kind of gives me the vibe of “telling a joke becomes receiving a lecture”

Like you’ll make a joke and look at him and he’s deadpanned,

“Mi amor, that’s no laughing matter.” And then he goes into a full lecture about why what you said was out of pocket and a little hurtful

It’s not that he doesn’t understand the humor he’s just concerned

But, he prefers the goofier jokes I feel like,

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.”

“Mensa.” He pushes your shoulder playfully with a laugh.

Dumb jokes like that get a good laugh out of him, just don’t make them about you please he loves you so much and he will lecture you

Rodolfo Parra:

Mortified in Spanish

“Mi vida, please don’t make those jokes.”

They break his poor little heart :( he loves you so much it makes him sad to hear make such harsh jokes about yourself or even see such awful things

He sighs every time he hears one of your jokes and gives this look 🥺

He doesn’t like that you joke about yourself or the things that have happened to you like that

He understands that humor is sometimes a coping mechanism, but he’d much rather talk through the things you’re joking about

He just cares about you so god damn MUCH

But if they’re nonsensical, then he’ll chuckle quietly,

“You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.”

“What? Amor you definitely-”

“You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.”

“Dios mío, amor.” He chuckles.

[bomber-grl]

Hi!! Can I have a Hiro x reader, were Hiro gets nervous around reader and Baymax is like "Your pulse just got faster right now". It would be funny to see Hiro getting more nervous because that

“Don’t listen to him!”

Pairing(s): Hiro Hamada x Gn!Reader (no gendered pronouns)

You and Hiro were already really close and great friends

The only thing worth noting is that Hiro may or may not have a teensy weensy crush on you

Although, it really wasn’t worth noting

Especially since he's planning to show you a project in his lab tonight and a crush would only serve as a distraction, an awkward one at that

The casual hangout was planned so you could meet Baymax, as you've already met everyone important in Hiro's life.

The time was just never right

He’d be in his lab and right after Baymax had left to wander town helping others, you’d walk right in

But tonight was when that’d change

Hiro gave a speech to Baymax to be cool and stuff

Hiro couldn't stress it enough—he was already nervous around you, and he could only imagine it getting way worse than it already was

Hiro gave the speech but knowing Baymax, it’d go right over his head (for obvious reasons

When you finally arrive, he gets up to greet you. After exchanging saying hi, you give him a hug

His face immediately flushed, and his heart raced in response, but he shrugged it off

Finally, when you peek over Hiro's shoulder, you see a large white marshmallow-like figure

You immediately recognize this figure as Baymax and once Hiro introduces you, you get the scan and typical Baymax speech

Things are honestly going pretty well, and Hiro's relieved that Baymax hasn't said anything unsettling, knowing the robot has a difficult time with people sometimes

He might as well as jinxed it though because the moment he said that, Baymax turned to him and scanned him

Hiro didn’t even notice, the only thing that was on his mind was you and how nervous you made him feel

He saw you face Baymax and then he heard something he’d never want to hear

“Your heart rate has escalated significantly in the past five minutes, and there is a notable increase in temperature observed in the facial region. Please remain calm as I continue to monitor your vital signs.”

Hiro immediately turned to him and told him to be quiet but that made it even worse

Baymax began giving solutions and possible reasons for why he was acting the way he was and when Baymax gave “someone else” and hinted at hormones as a reason he freaked

The scene in front of you was basically Baymax continuing his talk with his “patient” and hiro desperately trying to turn Baymax off

“Someone else” and the hormones thing only makes things worse and he turned to you for the first time throughout this sequence of events

“Don’t listen to him! He doesn’t know what he’s talking about and he’s pretty messed up from being attacked by u-uh some dogs.”

The situation is finally calmed down, Baymax is charging and you’re currently seated across from Hiro

And you just can’t help but burst out laughing

The whole thing was so ridiculous and honestly? You kind of already knew

Hiro was always nervous and hyper aware around you and the “fight” (if you can even call it that) only confirmed your suspicions.

Hiro immediately perked up and he laughed a bit too

It took a good amount of stuttering and sidelining but Hiro finally confesses his feelings and also his very much present fear of Baymax ever outing him

Which did end up happening, obviously

It was honestly a shock that he hadn’t been outed sooner

The inevitable happens and the two of you start dating and what not

But the funniest thing of it all was even after that day, Baymax would still mention it and this time- in both of you

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Ok, this is so fun! Congrats again!

I'll pick...Hunter (shocked, I'm sure.)

How about: "I don't think I've ever seen you smile" and "Oh, don't be cute"/"Wait, did you just say that I'm cute?"

Thanks!!

Carol (@clonethirstingisreal)

Thank you @clonethirstingisreal - I hope you love this Carol, it actually brought a smile to my face as I was writing it.

Enjoy, love oo.

One Meal

Warnings: knife flipping, allusions to loss, slight angst, fluff. I think that's it, if I miss any please let me know.

Main Master List   |  Star Wars Fic Roulette

Hunter flicked his knife back and forth in between his fingers, as he contemplated the next mission. Things were … different, since you joined. Not good or bad … just different. It been about six months, and yes, the Marauder was cleaner and didn’t have that lingering smell anymore, and yes, the meals had gotten better too, because you refused to just eat the ration bars the GAR provided. And … okay, it was nice to see your smiling face in the morning, compared to the miserable faces of his brothers. 

Yet, he still felt awkward around you. He wanted to laugh with you, like you could so easily with Wrecker, to have deep discussion, like you could with Tech, even philosophical discussions like you did with Echo. Hell, he’d be happy if he could just do target practice with you, like you did with Crosshair, but … every time he opened his mouth, he was curt, short tempered, and on edge. 

It wasn’t even your fault, it was just him. 

He stood from his seat, heading down the ramp and taking in a breath of fresh air. You were cooking dinner, doing your best to teach Wrecker that just because salt tasted good, didn’t mean he had to put in a whole table spoon full. 

It made him laugh a little as you tried to explain in your most patient voice possible, that you’d fix the dinner and Wrecker could go help Tech or Crosshair with something else. It was your polite way of saying ‘go away.’

Hunter tried but he couldn’t stop the smile on his lips, as he walked over to you.

"I don't think I've ever seen you smile" you pointed out as he walked up to you. “What’s got you so happy?”

“Oh, I just saw how you were very tactful with Wrecker. It was funny.”

You shrugged trying to fight back your own laughter as you tried to fix the stew, by adding more water, “He tried. I’m grateful he’s willing to learn.”

“Need help? I’m not completely inept when it comes to cooking.”

You looked a little surprised when he asked, not that his offering to help was a real shock, it was the fact you realized this was the first time you two had a proper conversation. “Um … yeah, if you don’t mind using your handy dandy knife there, that you like flipping around so much, to cut up some of these veggies so I can add them, that’d be great.”

Hunter chuckled at your description, as he nodded, taking a seat and getting to work, “Where did you learn to cook?” He asked, hoping to get to know you a little better.

“My mom and grandmother. They were adamant that I learn how to feed an army if I ever needed to …” you chuckled, “I had a big family, back home. Usually there would be around twenty of us for dinner.”

“Twenty? Did you have a lot of siblings?”

“No. It was just me. But I had uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, neighbours, anyone and everyone who needed a meal could always come to our place for dinner. We never turned away anyone in need of a good meal.”

“Sounds nice.”

“It was …” a sadness passed your face, as you thought back to what had once been your home, until the Separatist droid army showed up, and destroyed everything you had held so dear. 

Hunter saw your smile slip, it pained him to see that you had been through so much, although he hadn’t heard about it directly from you, he did overhear what had happened when you were talking with Tech. “Well we appreciate all your efforts, especially when you’re trying to teach us neanderthals how to cook.”

You giggled a little, pushing away the sad thoughts that had encapsulated your mind for a split second, “You’re not neanderthals.”

“We’re not exactly proper either. Couldn’t say, we’re exactly suited for a posh dinner.”

You shook your head as you laughed, “You don’t need to be suited for a posh dinner, you just need to show up to eat.” You smiled as you turned to look at him, smirking as you saw how perfectly he cut each vegetable.

You walked over and grabbed the tray of veggies, and dropped them into the stew, “Thanks for your help.”

“Of course. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure”

“Why do you take care of us? I mean granted the Marauder smells a lot better, and the meals you cook are much better than the GAR rations, but … why do you do it?”

You stirred the stew as you contemplated the question, “I guess … because you feel like family to me.” You turned to look at him, truthfully, he was the only one that you didn’t think of as family, you wanted something more with him, something special, but seeing as this was the first time you two actually talked, it might be a bit far-fetched to imagine that could possibly happen. “And, I love seeing how my food makes you guys happy. Wrecker, has the biggest smile on his face, whenever he eats when I cook. Tech has this adorable blush, although he’ll never admit how much he enjoys my cooking. And Crosshair … well he always comes back for seconds; and frankly, between you and me, he needs to eat more. He’s too skinny. I could break off his collarbone if I needed.”

“I enjoy it too,” Hunter clarified as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, “I might not say it, but I always look forward to your cooking.” He blushed and turned his head away, not wanting you to see how much of an effect you had on him, and not just because of your cooking. 

You laughed at his reaction, "Oh, don't be cute” you teased, “I might have to walk over there and pinch your cheeks.”

Hunter started to laugh, when he realized what you said, “Wait, did you just say that I'm cute?"

Main Master List   |  Star Wars Fic Roulette

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[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Hey Bird Boy!

I promised I’d write didn’t I? I’m missing you already, which is kinda stupid and cheesy, but true! There aren’t any other kids around now the holidays are over, so it’s just old people and super outdoorsy people who walk really fast with weird sticks and stuff, lame! Daddy lent me his crappy polaroid he uses for work so I can send you pictures and stuff so at least I’ve got something to do, they won’t be as good as yours but it’s better than nothing.

I tried to get a good picture but it’s hard to hold this huge thing with one hand and this is the best I could do but my teeth are totally starting to grow back so maybe I won’t look so dumb soon.. you can’t really see em but I can feel em poking through!!! It kinda hurts but I suppose we only have to grow em once so it’s not so bad. Growing teeth as a baby doesn’t count cos you can’t remember it.. how many teeth does your little sister have?!

I’m super looking forward to getting to know you properly since I can ask you stuff now! I’ll try n remember to ask you things instead of talking about myself the whole-time cos that’d be annoying to reply to, wouldn’t it?

By the way.. I took a bunch of pictures of my dad until I caught him laughing just to show you that he can be fun and nice, not always grumpy! He thinks he looks cool with his gold teeth but I think they make him look goofy, like a wannabe pirate haha!! YARRR!

I set Amber free cos I started to feel bad about keeping her cooped up in that tiny plastic box and I don’t think I’d like it if I were her, like how I’m starting to hate this stupid tower! I miss looking at her but I decided to start collecting fancy rocks instead since they’re not alive and don’t have any feelings. Dad digs up stuff for work sometimes so it makes total sense!! He said I’m not allowed to join him for that but we can do it on our own instead.. he bought me a big pretty one to start my collection, even though it’s kinda like cheating it still counts!

We found a birdwatching book stuffed in the back of the bookshelf looking for this notebook and dad said we should put some food out to see which ones we could spot.. they attacked him whilst he was putting the seeds out though so he said it was a stupid hobby and that he didn’t want to do it anymore. GET READY FOR THIS!!!

Ahahahahaahaaa I almost dropped his camera laughing at him and he took it off me for a couple days but it was totally worth it, please please pleaaaaase keep this picture cos I almost didn’t wanna send it to you so I could laugh at it forever and ever hahahaha!!!!

Oh, and I told daddy to take some pictures of me whilst I wasn’t looking like you do cos I thought it’d be neat, but I forgot I asked him to do it and got mad at him cos I was in my pj’s and my hair was all crazy.. it’s kinda funny I GUESS!! Plus, he said it made us even for me sending you the picture of him with the birds so here you go BUT DON’T KEEP THIS ONE!!

I got carried away and forgot to ask you stuff so here’s a list!

How old are you?

When’s your birthday?

Do you have any pets?!

What’s your favourite food?

Do you have all your big teeth yet? (it totally looked like it but you never know!!)

I was gonna think of more stuff to ask you and now the back of this page looks really empty but my brain farted and I really wanna send you this so you can send one back! I’ll think of more I promise!! I’m looking forward to “talking” to you so I guess you can write about whatever you want.. and I wanna see your house!! I bet your pictures will be way better than mine!

Yours excitedly, Alex :]