#that wouldn't bother me

[contagious-watermelon]

there's just something about being called (just) ace by your aroace friend even after only ever referring to yourself as aromantic

[hedgehog-moss]

I've been worried this week about birds of prey attacking my chickens—well, one bird of prey. I heard a hen make her very characteristic INTRUDER cry the other day and ran out of the house and there was a hawk flying in circles high above. I half-heartedly threw some sticks in its direction and told my hen not to be so dramatic (the hawk looked like it was minding its own business frankly), but the next day it happened again, and I thought, I've been unfair to the hens, the hawk from yesterday was actually reconnoitering and they could tell. Then there was another alert the next day. I was starting to get a bit alarmed about the fact that I was dealing with the world's most determined hawk—though I didn't see it again past the first time, I figured I arrived too late and Pandolf had already deterred it.

I ended up setting up a pen for the hens very near my house, under the hazel tree so they'd be sheltered, and spying from the kitchen window the next day, to see if it was still the same bird or what. It tended to attack at the same time every day, which was extra baffling.

And what I saw was Pandolf returning from his daily morning patrol around the pasture, faff around looking a bit bored, circle my house looking for me, and when he didn't find me, go to the chickens' pen and pretend to pounce on them like a fox, which startled them and made them cry out. Pandolf didn't touch them, he clearly just wanted them to make their magical Make Human Appear noise. Immediately after they yelped he turned to look at the front door expectantly, waiting for me to run out. He knows that when I get distracted from what I was doing indoors I often end up being like, well, now that I'm outside I might as well go do [outdoor chore of the day] and he gets to tag along, so he concocted this devious plan...

So. I must turn this post into a callout post for Pandolf. This is the face of a problematic dog, who tried to frame a hawk and use innocent hens for his own ends after he realised their person-summoning noises work while his do not.

[found--family]

cas would not kiss dean first. dean would also not kiss cas first. this is their tragedy. but a shapeshifter or some kind of monster clone or djinn dream would initiate the first kiss and they would 100% return it. or the real dean and cas would've just simply fallen together somehow like tripped and fell and gravity would bring their mouths together whoops anyway they'd both take it from there - and that's not fate pulling strings it's just dumb luck for these two dumbasses (affectionate)

[noys-boise]

i don't know how to tell aros on tumblr but you can make posts about appreciating friends without implying that people who don't love their friends are wrong or weak or evil or romance obsessed allos

signed, an aplatonic arospec

[erinwantstowrite]

ok now is the time where i admit that alighterwood got into my head and now i have a batfam rewrite au plotline sitting in my outline drafts

[knot-doing-it]

Fun stuff. It would actually feel like found footage instead of a cheap movie

Imagine an occult found footage horror film that ends with like. Idk how it would happen. But dude manages to turn lead into gold so radioactive that you see the film quality degrade immediately and the film ends there and you just KNOW everyone there died lolz..

[flowerbloom-arts]

The Lonely Mountains (2023)

Original Dungeon Meshi drawing by sweepswoop_ on Twitter

[lazylittledragon]

i keep trying to think of funny/poetic ways to talk about all the things i'm feeling right now but i honestly can't so. i'm really sad about what happened with my partner. i know he was an inconsiderate prick about it and that i didn't do anything wrong and i couldn't have prevented it but i'm just really fucking sad.

[canisalbus]

Sometimes i'm like, "canisalbus must surely get sick of everyone goofing around and memeing about their beautiful, serious OCs" and today I saw worm on a string Machete. I was wrong!!! Cheers lmao

.

[dootznbootz]

Yes, Odysseus was "Defending what's his" and "reclaiming his kingship, riches, and masculinity" during the killing of the suitors but Leiodes' death shows how it was also still very much personal and about Penelope.

Then Leiodes ran out, grabbed Odysseus’s knee,                                   and begged him—his words had wings: ���Odysseus, I implore you at your knee—respect me and have pity. I tell you I’ve never                                       injured a single woman in these halls by saying or doing something reckless. Instead I tried to stop the other suitors when they did those things. They did not listen or restrain their hands from acting badly. So their own wickedness now brings about their wretched fate. Among them I’m a prophet who has done no wrong, and yet I will lie dead, since there’s no future thanks for one’s good deeds.” Shrewd Odysseus glared at him and answered:                           “If, in fact,                                           you claim to be a prophet with these men, no doubt here in these halls you’ve often prayed that my goal of a sweet return would stay unrealized, so my dear wife could go back to your own home and bear you children. That’s why you won’t escape a bitter death.” As he said this, Odysseus picked up in his fist a sword that lay nearby—Agelaus had dropped it and left it on the ground when he was killed—with it Odysseus struck Leiodes right across his neck.                                       His head was rolling in the dust as he was speaking.

(Book 22, Johnston)

Leiodes: "Hey, we're good, right? I didn't even do anything with your servants or riches." Odysseus: "I don't care if you didn't do anything else, your crime is that you were trying to court my wife in the first place. You're fucking dead."

Also, he was so angry that he cut off his head in one stroke (Athena was juicing him up but still)

Touch the Wife, you get the Knife.

[fu-cough]

oh sweet adrien who can't even do anything to change the course of his life because his fate was already predetermined long before he was even created

[astrolotte]

Stupid episode idea where RIGHT after Timmy gets his memories back and reunites with Cosmo & Wanda (but not Peri), he and Dev get stranded together in Fairy World. Dev wants to get back to his fairy rather than hang around this stranger, and Timmy wants to meet up with his brother, but the thing is...

Dev keeps talking about getting back to "Peri". Timmy keeps talking about reuniting with "Poof". Neither of them realize that they're talking about the same person, and both keep trying to INSIST that their Person is more important to find first, and they can meet the other afterward.

Upon Peri finding out about this, he just. stares. You can see the years subtracting from his immortal life. Sigh.

[buckyscap]

you know when you experienced something so traumatizing or grieved too hard your brain sort of temporarily locked that memory to protect you from the pain? i think that's what's been happening to me after deadpool 2 bc tell me why every time i rewatch that movie, i always forget how painful these scenes are?

they always leave me sobbing and totally wrecked but with each rewatch i'd just... forget they would eventually happen and i'd eventually get hurt??

[apollyodon]

"lUcIfEr DoEsN't LoVe HiS bRoThErS"

Meanwhile, Lucifer in dealing with Mammon's hexed 'mini-me' doll:

[iceclew]

Based on B99 being iconic of course.

And the most beautiful Kafka Bride there is. ♡( ◡‿◡ )

Honestly, if that's not romance to you, we will never work out, sorry..

[1tbls]

man, DE fic piss me off a little sometimes asdfgk. i think u guys are greatly overestimating how much police can or are willing to do, and what cases they are incentivized to actually pursue.

when my mom's apartment was broken into a year ago, her next door neighbor literally got one of the guys on camera, and the police basically shrugged and went "sorry! nothing we can do!". when one of the men broke in again a week later, while my sister was home alone, when she could have been attacked, when she saw the guy face to face, again they were like "sorry! nothing we can do!"

which isn't to say i think they should have gone all supercop to solve the case. what the fuck are they gonna do, manhunt the guys across the city based on grainy camera footage? what would my mom and sister even gain from that, what would the community gain from that, having cops hovering around and then maybe throwing two poor guys from the neighborhood into prison? it's just reality that there's only so few resources to solve these things, so many dead ends, and more harm than benefit to the socioeconomic circumstance of the area.

it's just kind of irksome seeing fic casually talk about all the crimes precinct 41 and C-wing are pursuing and solving, when in reality most probably wouldn't even reach their desks before they were waved away as a dead case. or if they did reach their unit, still wouldn't be solved because it's simply too big of a gamble of time and resources. according to pew research center, in the US, about 45% of violent crime cases are solved each year, and only about 18% of property crime. and that's only the solve rate for the reported cases. it is in fact copaganda and simply inaccurate to portray the police as though they make a significant impact on crime, when more than half the time they're going, "sorry! nothing we can do!" 👍