#that would have been a classic Jason move tbh

[evasive-anon]

There is nothing Jason won’t do out of spite to prove Bruce wrong.

Love that Bruce felt the need to physically turn around and stare at the meteor during this exchange as if that was talking to Jason face to face.

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

Finally watched Caped Crusader and I have ✨thoughts✨.

Oswalda is straight up iconic. Loved every scene with her. I actually laughed out loud when the dude goes "Thorne got you to kill the wrong son?" and she responds "Not that!" I'd let her lock me in a suitcase and throw me in the sea. She gets a gold star ⭐

I like that we get to see Selina's origin. I like the classic suit. That's kinda it though. A bit sad that Bruce didn't feel any connection with her. Just not a huge fan of her character here. She doesn't feel like Selina (a problem most of this show faces tbh).

I was loving the Harley stuff. The bit with Renee was so cute, and I love that she really was passionate about helping Bruce move past his trauma. I really like that she's Barbara's friend. Was really upset at the fakeout death but at least she was just joshin. The villain stuff felt like fetishes which like okay. I guess Bruce needed to put in something to replace BruceBabs. Anyway, that's the final dig towards him. As much as this Harley episode wasn't my favorite, a promise is a promise. Although I do gotta ask, WHY CAN'T RENEE CATCH A BREAK IN HER LOVE LIFE >:(((

No fucking way the moral of episode 7 was "the system is totally not screwed, it's just a few bad apples and also a criminal is a criminal and should be jailed". Barbara literally says the system sucks cause the cops can do what they want and get in anyone's pockets and then nearly gets killed by a cop and then they end it with "actually, I think you do"?! I mean yeah that specific guy deserved prison but ending it on that note of Barbara feeling betrayed and confused on her morals tells a very not-so-delightful message. Glad the show backtracks on all that immediately but it's still weird and definitely could've used some revising to fit in with the rest.

Onomatopeia was awesome though. I remember people claiming his shtick couldn't work when he appeared in Superman and Lois. They said that it only worked in comics and would be too silly out loud. Happy to report that they're wrong.

I feel like I'm the only one who was excited to see Waylon but that's okay cause I got enough excitement for everyone. Love to see my mans kicking the shit out of potential perverts. You go, Waylon!

Dick, Jason, Steph, and Carrie. Definitely an interesting combination. But it's also so nice to see a Jason who grew up in a different environment and is therefore adorable with no rage in his heart. As opposed to Carrie who was ready to kick some ass. The ending to episode 8 really understood Batman, what with him saying he can't leave her there, carrying her and shielding her under the cape, and then asking about her later.

The Harvey bit is kinda cool but 1, I've always been iffy on the shotty DID stuff and 2, I think they coulda gone further. Just watch The Long Halloween for a better Two Face plot.

I like Harvey helping that guy get his stuffed animal back. That was a nice small character moment. If we had more stuff like that and Bruce being unable to confess his emotions to Alfred, I think this whole thing would be better. This one made up for episode 7's little message by having Barbara tell Harvey that it's not so cut and dry and that he deserves help too. I'm glad they went back to that after the whole "sometimes things are black and white" bit. Batman is about helping people just as much as Superman is and I feel like sending a message that "nope, bad is bad and he should just punch people" doesn't fit the entire thesis of Batman.

This finale really encapsulates how this show doesn't quite understand the character of Batman. It may be comic-accurate for him to be an asshole and put on the voice randomly, treat Alfred like crap, and randomly break character with stuff like "don't start growing a conscience now, Dent" but as I said it goes against the whole thesis. This is more along the lines of the Nolan films with the "Bruce Wayne is the mask" bit. And we all know how I feel about those films.

And then it ends on a boring cliffhanger with the boss guy and then a shitty Joker teaser. Boo.

In short, this show is good but it's not anything special. I do really like the classic Batman aesthetic, but that's pretty much it. It doesn't really understand the characters like MAWS and WFA, the overarching plot is kind of uninteresting and it doesn't feel like we're building up to something great. I feel like this show really wanted to use the episodic style to take a look at all these different elements of Gotham's world with references to existing characters and aspects. But whereas MAWS smoothly slid those into its narrative and setting, this just kinda feels like a villain of the week show instead of working towards this grand narrative. And that can be a good thing, I mean I'm a Scooby Doo fan for crying out loud, but in this scenario, it just doesn't work that exceptionally. If it gets a season 2, I'll probably watch it. But this isn't something I'd be excitedly waiting to see new episodes of.

[3gremlins]

obviously it's early yet and there have only been 2 episodes but so far i am underwhelmed by the percy jackson tv show. thoughts behind cut (i guess very mild spoilers but nothing big)

mostly b/c every time it uses cgi fx the lighting gets DULL AF and terrible and i am begging disney etc to just pay for lighting people and practical effects/mixture of cgi and practical so it can be lit properly and not rely on making everything dark to hide shitty looking composition with weird flattening color grading (the actual models don't look that bad, they're just badly composited. like let a dramatic rim light enter your life, fam, i am begging you).

The props also look a little cheap? Esp in the capture the flag war scene, they all look/sound like plastic with little to make it seem like they're not (also the fit on the helmets was kinda meh, but i realize this is nitpicky).

it just added to making the show look cheap in a way it def shouldn't be b/c the mouse has so much freaking money. idk, it feels like they got a meager budget for a thing that deserves a GoT or at least a Mandalorian/SW budget tbh (orrrrrr i wish they'd just done a cool animated show in the style of the opening/closing credits but obviously that would be more expensive and the house of mouse are cowards T.T)

also the writing has been a lot of "tell instead of show" exposition so far which makes for not so great tv (it would have been much cooler to see the luke/thalia/anabeth bg stuff as a flashback instead of just having luke explain it on screen- stuff like that. Which is probably a budget/direction issue and less of a writing issue tbf). More characterization in general- like it just feels a little rushed like they were trying to hit major plot points faster (esp with the inter god house relations).

It also feels like someone told Jason Mantzoukas to dial it back and so he feels weirdly restrained as mr.d (a very strange choice imho). Like you hire him to be loud and a little obnoxious and i'm not sure about this directing choice for this character (this is sort of minor but it contributed to the first 2 eps feeling overall kinda muted?)

Book 1 is the weakest book by far tho so probably season 1 will be the weakest since it's an adaptation of that but I thought maybe they'd be able to fix some of the issues since Riordan has more direct control over that with this adaptation. Like move some plot points around/character narratives to make it a little more dynamic and make us care about more of the main characters sooner.

it also feels like it's missing a little bit of that rick riordan is a huge classics/mythology nerd DEEP CUT references that are in the books (we got a little with that one kid talking about the goddess of failure but not really enough)

the casting is great tho and maybe it will get rolling as the season goes on, i will keep watching for sure. I'm just sad it wasn't better b/c now I'm not going to be able to convince my partner to read the books lol. He already read the Magnus Chase books which he liked, but he's afraid of the PJ books b/c the first few aren't as good/were written earlier

[whatqueen-wildcats]

Answer the evens for the music ask 🤪

Here u go finally hahaha

2: A song you like with a number in the title

6/10 - dodie

4: A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

Sweater weather - the neighborhood

6: A song that makes you want to dance

Beyoncé RENAISSANCE, just all of it lol listened to it a lot this past summer

8: A song about drugs or alcohol

Idk uhh Juice - Lizzo also a very dance-able choice

10: A song that makes you sad

Wolves - Jensen McRae

Don't think I've ever heard this song without crying

12: A song from your preteen years

Stars - Switchfoot (any early sf qualifies tbh, but got to dance and scream to this one live last year with a couple of fellow ex-youth group queers in one of the weirdest and most healing concert experiences I've had yet lmao)

14: A song that you would love played at your wedding

I Wanna Dance with Somebody - Whitney Houston haha every time I hear this song I just picture the reception dancing and singing along with a room full of people I love and my brand new spouse and it being such a moment of joy

I don't have super significant ones I want for ceremony or first dance or whatever cause i feel that's very dependent on the relationship, but this tune is a Must at some point on the dance floor

16: One of your favorite classical songs

Mmmm idk which individual piece would be my fave but i do love to listen to Chopin (To be a bit pedantic, he's a Romantic period composer, not properly Classical period, but in the Colloquial Sense of Classical it counts 🤣)

18: A song from the year that you were born

*hastily googles songs released in 1994*

Basket Case - Green Day

Very strong memories of hearing it for the first time about 10 years after its release from my cousins shiny new mp3 player and being SUPER jealous

20: A song that has many meanings to you

Twenties - Semler

Always a bit of a mindfuck to listen to honestly -- lmao press X to skip this monolog but please do listen to the song, it's excellent.

cause I so easily could have (and indeed for most of my life thought I was going to) follow the path of the ex-friend in the song, the good Christian girl just looking for any nice guy to settle down with and meet all those traditional expectations... it's what I thought I wanted. I'm sure if the first boy I wound up dating had actually been a good person and didn't fully shatter my entire already-fragile sense of self, I would've stayed on that path for decades and a couple of kids before even getting close to figuring out why I was so miserable. It's all I knew. And I think of all the people I know who did take that path, the friends i grew up with and no longer speak to... the repetition of the line "how long will you live until your life is your own?" I think of my mother and grandmothers. I hope they're all happier than I would have been had I stayed. I think of all the ways I still people please, and think with gratitude for all the ways I no longer do. I could go on but I won't lol.

22: A song that moves you forward

Idk what exactly this is even supposed to mean? Like, motivates me? Gives me hope? Who knows but youre getting

City - Thao & The Get Down Stay Down

24: A song by a band you wish were still together

tbh I can't think of one? I'm sure there are some, but several that I would've said a few years ago have either come back already or I no longer care for them lol. And of course there's plenty of Before My Time bands that would've been cool to be around for but feel like that's not the point of this question.

Idk, what keeps coming to mind is Foo Fighters - they aren't actually broken up but Taylor Hawkins, their drummer, passed suddenly last year. For the song I'll pick "But, Honestly"

26: A song that makes you want to fall in love

So maaannyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ughgh

If We Were Vampires - Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

Makes me absolutely SICK that I haven't met the love of my life yet and every day that passes is one less that I get to spend with them in this mortal existence 😫

Addendum: I've taken so long to finish answering these that I've found a new answer in the meantime that I'd like to share, Kevin Atwater, several of his songs apply, but going with My Blood is Your Blood *foaming at the mouth*

28: A song by an artist with a voice that you love

Probably the best and most ENCHANTING voice I've had the joy of getting to hear live so far in my life is Florence Welch of F+TM, I'll pick the song Cassandra

30: A song that reminds you of yourself

Okay this would be SO EASY but i really don't wanna pick a sad or self-deprecating song. Those have their time and place but I'm practicing them not being my default lol.

Gonna answer with one that, maybe doesn't exactly *remind* me of myself? but helps me embrace myself: Hit or Miss - Odetta

Thank you, as always, for facilitating my long-winded nonsense! 💖

[superhero--imagines]

Etsy Store Here l Ko-Fi l Commission Info I Instagram I Zine

A/N: I just felt like it, this is pretty self-indulgent tbh. also please buy my stickers on etsy. Please. I worked so hard and I'm so scared they're going to flop.

* Yo babe, this guy is like your #1 supporter

* Like there’s two ways he meets you. The first is probably like that romantic “it’s fate” type of way, and the second is one of his brothers sets him up with you

* The first one is sort of romantic- you meet him when you’re still young at some book signing or a poetry reading or something

* And he sits next to you, and you start chatting a little about the author and their work

* “You sound like a writer” Jason says, and you blush a little

* “I guess I am” you’re just starting out though

* “What kinda stuff do you write?” He asks

* “The bad kind”

* He laughs at that

* And there’s this sort of romantic mood over the scene, like he just knows you’re going to be special to him

* But then the reading ends, and he’s waiting for it- to give you his number or to you see again but he never does

* You just get up and leave

* He see’s you again years later, at a charity ball Bruce is forcing him to go to “public appearance is important” and “optics need to be good” or something

* And you’re there, one hand on Dick’s arm, and the other around a flute of champagne

* “Oh, (Y/N)- this is my little brother Jason, Jason this is (Y/N)”

* The hand wrapped around Dick’s arm unfurls to hold his own, Jason can’t take his eyes off of yours

* “Nice to meet you”

* And there’s no familiar glint in your eyes, this isn’t some inside joke-

* You really don’t remember him

* “Nice to meet you too,” Jason says giving you a firm squeeze back

* Your hand is soft

* He can picture it, desperately clutching a pen, flying across a page, and scribbling all the ideas in your mind-

* It feels like a writers hand

* “(Y/N)’s an aspiring writer,” Dick says, and Jason flinches.

* So you are still writing

* “I’m not an aspiring writer, I am a writer”

* Jason doesn’t miss the slight bite in your words, despite your expressionless exterior

* “No I mean like a real writer- a published writer”

* “I am a published writer” you sigh, and Jason guesses you’re exasperated

* “Oh really where at?” Dick asks, and Jason almost wants to strangle his brother. Here’s the person of his dreams, and Dick had the stupid dumb luck to date them first- only to say all the wrong things.

* But before you can answer Dick’s eyes light up as they hover over the bar-

* Then out of nowhere, he grabs your champagne flute away from you

* “You’re running low huh?” The flute is mostly full, Jason notices. “I’ll get you another”

* And then he’s gone, leaving just you and Jason

* “I’m going to take a wild stab here, and say you’re not dating my brother”

* You shake your head with a small smile

* “This would be pretty sad if we were,” you say, picking up a champagne flute from a nearby server

* Jason mirrors the motion

* “Dick said he wanted to make an ex jealous, it’s a mutually beneficial situation”

* You motion to the bar, and sure enough Dick’s chatting up a familiar redhead Jason knows all too well

* “What do you get out of this?” The question is punctuated with a sip of champagne and your lips quirk into a small smile

* “I’ve never been to an event like this,” your eyes sweep the room- marble columns and men with shiny cuff links and tuxedos and women in polished gowns

* It’s like something out of a tv show

* “I thought it might be good for my writing” you shrug, your editor is always saying that you need more romantic elements in your work

* “Well you don’t need Dick for that,” Jason takes a sip of his champagne “I’m right here”

* You grin, and Jason has to pinch himself to snap out of the way you dazzle him

* “What a gentleman,” you say, still smiling, though it’s dimmed

* “Anything to support the arts”

* Elsewhere at the bar-

* “Do you think they’re hitting it off?” Barbara asks, and Dick grins

* “Of course they are, they’re a writer- Jason loves to read, it’s a match made in heaven”

* Barbara rolls her eyes, but she’ll admit, you guys look good together

* Things move fast after that, the way they always seem to when people are happy

* First dates at the pier

* Second dates watching bad movies and smuggling wine into a movie theatre

* Third dates where you do nothing but kiss

* Bookstore trips, late nights where you do nothing but dream

* Jason knows you’re getting close when you open up to him about your art

* “I’ve had this idea in my head for months now but it just won’t come out”

* And you’re taking such a huge chance talking about this- how many times have you been told to quit while you’re ahead, or ridiculed, treated as an annoyance, or even laughed at for opening up about your work.

* So the pure joy Jason shows when you speak to him about it makes your heart skip

* “Tell me about it, what kind of a story is it?”

* And this is such a vulnerable moment for both of you- but Jason makes it seem like it’s the most normal thing in the world, like this is how it should have been with everyone before

* And honestly it’s healing

* This dork will buy any magazine or journal you’re printed in and ask you to sign it

* If it’s web-only, he’ll print out your story on high-quality paper and ask you to sign that

* “You know you didn’t have to buy one, I have like 12 contributor copies,” you say hiding your smile as you indulge him by signing the cover

* “I just happened to see it-”

* He didn’t just ‘happen to see it’ he preordered this copy a month ago

* “Besides I like supporting your work”

* And no ones ever loved you like this, so you hide your smile behind your hand

* “Anything to support the art right?”

* “Exactly,” he says with a grin

* If you write a book and add his name to the dedications/acknowledgments he’ll straight-up start crying

* “Jason-“

* You’re a little concerned, you didn’t even write anything mushy just ‘For Jason, my number one supporter’

* When he finally shows his face from behind his hand he’s smiling so wide with the brightest blush on his face

* “This is my favorite book,” he says hugging the copy to his chest

* And you just smile

* He buys two books, one to make notes in and the other to keep in a shadow box

* Speaking of books-

* If you guys live together you have a lot

* Like seriously almost TOO many

* Have you guys seen that tik tok of the girl whose parents are professors and they have a whole house just COVERED in books- like even the bathroom

* Yeah

* That’s your house!!

* Well, probably apartment, but yeah

* You have a “guest bedroom”

* But really it’s a library with a bed in the middle

* Your living room has every wall covered in bookshelves and one small empty spot so he could mount the television

* It makes perfect sense- one bookshelf Is yours, one is for reference material, one is to keep all the stuff you get published, one bookshelf is for Jason, another is for shared classics, another is books you guys share with signed books in it, another is just a display case really

* And so on

* “Do you ever think we have too many books?” You ask Jason one night over cups of chamomile tea

* He looks up from the book in his lap, reading glasses slipping down

* “I think we’re the only people who have the correct amount of books”

* You grin

* “Yeah I think so too”

* He would totally show up to all your readings and book signings

* Your manager/agent might start to get worried

* “You don’t think he’s a stalker do you?”

* “Nah that’s just my boyfriend” you say with a smile, blowing a kiss in his direction

* Just- supportive Jason who loves that you were born to tell stories

[hintofelation99]

Hi! I love your posts and want to ask your opinion on something. Who do you think in the batfam has the most and the least common sense of a normal person? If you can, can you also list how they are arranged? Thank you!

Ooohhh, this is a fun one! In my mind all bats lack common sense. Like obviously they're hella smart, after all they are a family of detectives, they just aren't very bright.

Here's a quick rundown (least to most): Tim and Dick tie for first place, both lack common sense in just in completely different ways. Then Damian (mostly cause of the whole 'being raised by league of assassins' thing), Bruce, Cass (controversial ik), Steph, Jason, Duke, Babs, and last on the list is obvs Alfred. (Kate is probs between Cass and Steph, but I've only really seen her in the DCAMU and need to get to know her better).

And Ima add a 'keep reading' cause this is gonna get long.

Tim:

Tim is one of the smartest in the family. He deduced Batman's identity as a child, majorly fucked up the League of Assassins, and has been honored (I say this v sarcastically just btw) with Ra's creepy obsession. He's smart, plain and simple. However, when it comes to just day to day survival and being loved, goddamn that boy is dumb.

He regularly mixes energy drinks and coffee. Sometimes he even mixes energy drinks, alcohol, and coffee.

In his mind warnings are optional. "Tim, did you just sniff that drano?" "Yeah, why?" "IT LITERALLY SAYS DO NOT SMELL" "Oops"

He regularly tests shit on himself. "Why is Tim on the floor?" "He mixed joker venom and fear gas to see what would happen" "HE WHAT"

Also if you try to compliment him or tell him you love him he will find a way to misunderstand. "Tim, I love you and you are an amazing son." "I don't know who this Tim is but he sounds great" "It- it's you, literally you. Timothy Jackson Drake." "I'm a bit confused, I didn't know you knew two Timothy Jackson Drakes. You should really introduce us."

Dick:

Dick in many ways is a total himbo. He's a complete sweetheart, super supportive, and very ditzy. His ditzy-ness directly correlates to how relaxed he is. Chilling in the manor? Peak himbo. A mission in space? Absolute genius and amazing leader. Just took down a bunch of thugs? Slowly reverting into dopey boi. He always has the ability to be super analytical, smart, and big brain, but he likes being whimsical and even airheaded. And that's not a bad thing, it's just him taking mental breaks, being lighthearted.

"YOU PUT DIESEL IN YOUR CAR?" "...Yeah, in my defense the nozzles look basically the same" "They're different colors?! Also the diesel nozzle doesn't even fit into your gas tank, how did you get it in?" "I'm a good pourer."

He always responds to the word dick and it always confuses him. "God Ra's is such a dick!" "What?" "Ra's is a dick" "I'm not Ra's!" "Wha- no! I mean penis dick!" "Ohhhh, yeah he is a penis dick"

Once Dick is safe he reverts into himbo pretty quickly, even after stressful situations. "Hey Wally?" "Yes babe?" "I forgot how to change my lock screen again" "Dick, you just hacked into an alien spaceship not even an hour ago??" "What's that have to do with anything?"

Damian:

Damian lacks common sense from growing up with the League of Assassins. He's an amazing warrior and super analytical but casual human interaction alludes him. He is getting better though, so eventually he'll be lower on the list than Steph. But for now he's a senseless bby.

The first time someone tried to give him high five he assumed it was an attack and flipped them. Same with a fist bump.

This is complete canon but his original treatment of Alfred, his brothers, and, well, everyone. Like bby boy please read the room.

His ego can easily override common sense. Like he wouldn't jump off a bridge if everyone else was doing it, but if someone said he couldn't he'd immediately swan dive off that bridge.

Bruce:

For the world's greatest detective he can be a major dumb bitch sometimes. Some of it's growing up rich and some is being so wrapped up in his 'crusade for justice' that he just misses basic shit.

One time he walked in on Roy and Jason making out, the next day he saw them cuddling, then they mentioned moving in together. It took him three months to realize that they're dating.

He doesn't understand coupons, like at all. Jason has tried to explain them but Bruce just gets even more confused.

Bruce tried to make coffee once. He literally just poured coffee beans in water and microwaved it. He was surprised when it didn't taste good.

Cass:

Cass is similar to Damian in she lacks common sense from an unconventional upbringing. However she's learning way faster than Damian and depending on where in the timeline you're looking she might have more common sense than Babs.

Basic things like lines, turn taking, and speaking when spoken to aren't innate to her. Like, she knows and understands them, but often forgets about them.

There are many times that she blurs the line between civilian and vigilante because she'll do something that looks v stupid and dangerous for a civilian. The thing is she never notices when she does this.

One time she was in a restaurant and there was a cockroach on the wall across the room (cause Gotham) and instead of getting up and killing it like a normal person she threw her steak knife and impaled it.

Steph:

Steph is probably lacks common sense the most conventional yet slightly concerning way. She lacks common sense in the same way a cartoon character or sitcom character would. Like it's sorta realistic but at the same time damn bby girl why are you such a disaster??

She will do anything on a dare. Anything. There is a rule against daring Steph to do things while in the manor or on patrol.

Every time she hears someone say Red Robin she yells yum. This has gotten both her and RR shot.

Steph is v lucky that 1) she's a badass and 2) the batfam loves her because she annoys absolutely everyone just for shits and giggles and the only reason she hasn't been murdered is that Cass scares everyone.

Jason:

All common sense is lost when dramas at stake. Say what you will but Jason is the (second) biggest drama queen in the family. Also he, like most bats, lacks a sense of self preservation which leads to shit common sense.

He tried to steal Batman's tires.

Sometimes he listens to music during patrol and tries to hit people/shoot on beat. This has lead to stab wounds.

Jason loves to loudly quote classic literature while on stake outs. This is a problem for obvious reasons.

Duke:

Ok this is around the time you get to average common sense levels. But he still runs around Gotham beating people up in tights (or kevlar) so he doesn't get full points. Also he's still not Babs level common sense. One area Duke lacks common sense in is how to deal with the Batfam (which is v understandable tbh)

One time Duke was joking around with Jason and decided to steal a roll off of Damian's plate. This ended in blood.

Other than lacking Batfam common sense, most of his poor judgement moments are less notable but still concerning.

For example the time he challenged Dick to a hot dog eating contest then went on a roller coaster.

Babs:

Other than being a vigilante Babs almost has normal human common sense. However being a vigilante has negative side effects on ones common sense.

While Babs' sleep schedule isn't as bad as Tim's it's not a whole lot better. She's stayed up 72 consecutive hours multiple times.

She has accidentally poured coffee onto her computer instead of into a coffee mug.

One time she drank an entire gallon of milk before realizing it was a month expired.

Alfred:

Most assume that working for Bruce Wayne is a sign of him lacking common sense. But nah, it's him knowing, understanding, and challenging his own limits. Also it's him being a charitable human being. Like he has enough common sense to go around and tbh it's the only thing keeping the family alive.

"Master Bruce, you may not use Elmer's Glue All to close a wound."

"Master Dick I would encourage you not to teach Master Duke acrobatics on the glass coffee table."

"Miss Stephanie I would not advise trying to consume an entire jar of peanut butter in one sitting, and no, I do not care if Master Jason dared you to."

Tada, there's the list! Sorry that was probably a lot longer than anyone wanted, but I enjoy talking about how ditzy the batfam is. Like they're all geniuses but at the same time they're just sooooo dumb.

[overheard-at-camp-half-blood]

Okay, but the fact that Leo and Percy are considered the “stupid ones” by the fandom, usually for their ADHD traits.

Okay, BUT THIS?! Though I don’t think it’s just the ADHD, but the ADHD was part of it.

And the fact that Leo was written as a very intelligent character in the books, but he gets written off by the fandom as dumb because he makes stupid jokes and doesn’t interact well with other people? The not interacting well is a neurodivergent thing, by the way.

Also the Percy thing pisses me off, because when people do this, they do it by comparing him to Annabeth. They call him stupid for not knowing things in the first couple of books, which, I mean, of course he wouldn’t know things, or he would know less than Annabeth? Annabeth has been doing this shit since she was a little kid... Percy has not. Annabeth is going to be more educated on this stuff than Percy is.

The same thing happened with Leo to an extent in TLH. He was the one asking a lot of questions, because Jason had been doing this shit for years, even if he didn’t know and Piper had done research on it long before camp. Leo really doesn’t know as much as the other two about Greek Mythology, but that’s okay!

Nobody is stupid for not being the expert on one area, and it’s not like Leo’s expertise in other areas didn’t come in handy, or that Percy didn’t get more educated the longer he was involved in the world. It’s not like their lack of expertise in Greek Mythology made them completely incompetent.

Also, moving onto the ADHD things, starting with Percy.

Percy’s ADHD and dyslexia made him struggle in school a lot, and people tend to use this in justifying how “stupid” he is. Now, this isn’t just ableist towards people with ADHD, but equating grades to intelligence is really harmful to all neurodivergent people who struggle in school because of their neurotype, and ignores how ableist the school system is.

Notice how the one teacher Percy felt believed in him was not only a magical centaur, but a magical centaur who literally ran a summer camp full of neurodivergent kids, and most likely knows how their brains work? That’s because teachers aren’t equipped to handle anyone other than NT kids, and oftentimes blames the child on their struggles, rather than help them not to struggle.

Percy not doing well in school because of his neurodivergence isn’t reflective of his own intelligence- it’s reflective on ableism in the school system, and tbh, as much as Rick Riordan got wrong, he got that part right.

Then it’s the fact that Percy and Leo are impulsive... which, impulsivity is a classic ADHD trait... even people I know who seem to have a stereotypical or basic understanding of ADHD knows that...

And again, this doesn’t make them incompetent. In fact, their impulsivity is a lot of times their biggest strength, because a lot of times, especially in times of war, you don’t have time to make a plan. You have to just be able to react to your surroundings. This is what Percy does, and it is shown as a foil to Annabeth, who is a planner.

Percy’s impulsivity and Annabeth’s careful planning are two different strengths that are useful in different situations.

As for Leo, I don’t even really see him as impulsive? Because he does typically plan things out before doing them, but he does so quickly. He isn’t a careful planner, but he is an efficient planner, and this has come in handy several times. He does take risks, but they’re calculated risks, they are usually risks he’s put some thought into.

I wouldn’t say Percy and Leo’s ability to take risks makes them stupid, in fact, I’d say their ability to take risks and come out unharmed actually makes them pretty fucking intelligence.

[bigskydreaming]

You're asked to choose one and only one or DC's future stops existing immediately. your choices:

1. Jason Todd the anti-hero who seldom works with only a couple of the bats he doesn't hate, for example Dick and Cass VS. Jason Todd who came back with healed body but broken spirit, folded back into the Gotham gang and learns to be part of the society again.

2. Tim Drake who makes all of his mistakes as canon but realizes he's been wrong and apologizes to people VS. Tim Drake back in his first iteration, a cute little brother character who is a reader insert and a fun teenager.

3. JayKyle VS DickKyle.

4. Jason Todd with a sword VS. Damian Wayne with a sword.

5. Chris Kent VS. Jon kent.

Okay but which DC future? Its omniversal future? Its hypertime future? Its multiversal future? Its Elseworlds future? Its dark multiverse future? Mwahahaha your threat is useless because the sheer wtf of DC's continuities, timelines and conflicting declarations of what to even call their multiomnihyperverse makes it impossible to target simply A future! DC's overly unnecessarily complicated nature renders it functionally immortal and impossible to ever truly destroy, take that Darkseid.

I mean. But anyway. Whatevs:

1) I honestly do prefer the idea of Jason someday fully reuniting/reintigrating into the Batfam as a whole, because fuck it, the found family I'm here for is the one where they actually act like a family....I just think it takes actual work to get to that point and I get irey when people are like we're here! We found it! And its like meanwhile, abusive dynamics still abound. Mmm. No thank you. But even though I've been on a huge Jason and Dick and Cass kick for like, forever, I do still aim for him having a dynamic of his own with the rest of the family.

Like the thing is, I hate playing the favorites card in families, and I think the emphasis on so and so being Bruce's favorite child or so and so being this kid's favorite sibling, etc, like it really does feel like to the detriment of the whole family, because once you start validating the idea of favorites, ESPECIALLY in a found family that is CONTINUOUSLY growing....I think you're kinda shooting yourself in the foot because you're kinda creating a situation where either no future new additions to the family can EVER be Bruce or one of the kids' 'favorite' or else you're innately positing that said fave status is conditional and even a current fave of Bruce or a sibling can be bumped down the ladder by the addition of a later arrival....

Which is LITERALLY the entire essence of the eternal conflict between Dick and Damian and Tim fans. Its not even that Damian is Dick's favorite, allegedly, its that prior to Damian's very EXISTENCE, fans felt comfortable declaring Tim unilaterally to be Dick's 'favorite'.....and then all it took was the addition of a single family member who had specific NEEDS in regards to Dick's attention and focus, largely because of his age and needing a legal guardian while Tim was old enough to literally jet set around the world on his own.....and like, everything went up in flames in large corners of fandom.

So I'm just like, death to the fave family member myth, its just incredibly counter productive to the idea of found family as a whole especially when it usually only exists to prop up a preferred character as better than others via the proof of see, these other characters say he's their fave or whatever...but also like, its not even necessary?

Because the thing is, you can have Jason reintegrated into the whole family overall, and still prioritize your personal narrative FOCUS on characters you like more than others, like say Dick and Cass.....because of course its natural for even people in the same family to have entirely different DYNAMICS with different family members....and these dynamics don't have to come with a ranking system in order to prioritize which ones you just focus on more in a story. Because its not necessarily that Dick has to be Jason's fave brother, y'know, just for Jason to prefer spending time with Dick simply because he's more comfortable with him due to knowing him longer or being more secure in the idea that Dick doesn't judge him based on their greater shared history.

This doesn't mean that Jason doesn't care for his other siblings, that he can't have strong dynamics with them as well, its just about finding a reason for why these two specifically might be in a story without the others that doesn't demand putting a definitive ranking on which one Jason considers his FAVE. Just like Damian doesn't have to be Dick's FAVE just for them to have the super close canon relationship they have, even relative to the other siblings, because there's everything needed in canon already to establish that the mere fact of Dick essentially RAISING Damian for a year, and being the first one in the family to really take a chance on Damian, like, this lends itself naturally to them maybe more naturally gravitating towards each other than other siblings due to comfort level and familiarity, etc, but it doesn't have to be like....oh but yeah, I just like Damian more than you, Tim, y'know?

So my answer on this one is a total cop out of both, both is good. Jason totally reintegrated back into the family, but with dynamics that still lend themselves fairly easily towards story lineups where its just him running missions with Dick or Duke or any other one or two specific family members even if for no other reason than they gel together best in the field, y'know?

2) Hmm. I honestly really do love and miss 90s Tim Drake and just....don't see him in a lot of what I read these days. I'm like no, why did he have to go, he was doing so well! BUT I'm also on a big accountability kick, and like, I'm so steeped in fics where Dick GROVELS for forgiveness for every little slight he's ever done real or imagined, with every character but Tim in particular, so its like.....I'm not gonna lie, I really have a preference these days for seeing stuff where its literally anyone actually owning up to shit they've done to Dick and apologizing or groveling or making it to HIM, like, completely unconditionally. In the same manner we usually see Dick apologizing, glossing over any reasons he might have had for doing what he did or feeling the way he did, and saying oh it doesn't matter, putting the entirety of his focus on what HE did and why it was wrong no matter what and he's sorry.....that's what I would kill to see from more fics, just in reverse.

Because so often even in the all too rare fics where we DO see other characters apologizing to Dick for shit, its watered down with Dick volunteering that oh he messed up too, it was a two way street, and its like no! This is Pettiness Hours! I want the unconditional apologies! Give me the groveling! From anyone, I don't care at this point, lol, just show me characters actually PUTTING IN THE WORK to make it up to Dick for harm they've caused him, even if completely unintentionally or via neglecting his feelings or considering the repercussions their actions or words would have on him. Aaaaaaand, frankly, Tim's a good place to start there, because of how one sided all the takes on their conflicts have been for so many years. I mean, if people need a place to start, Batman and Robin Eternal gets enough praise it can't be pretended that people in fandom don't know that story exists, so how about some stories where Tim says he's fucking sorry for punching Dick in issue #4 or #5 of that one, and it was uncalled for and he was clearly just looking for an excuse to unleash some more of his resentment and upset for the Spyral/Forever Evil stuff, and family deciding that its totally okay to punch Dick whenever they're mad at him and need to work off some aggression so they can then finally forgive him (for now) is a trend that needs to die in a fire post-haste? I mean just as an example.

But the thing that kills me about fanfic trends is like....the sameness of so much of it. There's SO much room for variety and diverse takes, and like....I don't actually hate Tim! I'm just cranky because of the imbalanced nature of most content out there for literal years at this point. Push the pendulum BACK in the other direction, create some balance by showing the flip side of things.....and that leaves a lot more room for me and others of like minds to then be more amenable to - and even interested in - other stories that don't scratch this particular itch, but don't need to, because other stories are doing the scratching by then, y'know?

And THEN like, at that point, I would be ALL FOR more stories that are just callbacks to classic 90s Tim who I adore, with his skateboarding and his EARNESTNESS and his go-get-em spirit and also the gumption. All the gumption. I like that Tim. I do miss that Tim. But like, for the moment, like, I want accountable Tim because I am tiiiiiiiired of groveling Dick and tbh at this point its not enough for me to just see people move past putting Dick in that position and just have mutually respective and doting brothers Dick and Tim having adventures together......nah, first I want some reciprocation. Ngl. Gimme the apologies for actual mistakes actually made.

3) DickKyle. Easy question, c'mon, you gotta know that. LOL. ;)

But yeah, I've been shipping these two off their like, two shared pages from way back in the Obsidian Age story years before Jason even returned, let alone was in Countdown together with Kyle, so like, its no contest. I don't mind JayKyle, I certainly prefer it to JayRoy tbh, but there's not a ton of appeal in it for me, particularly in how its usually depicted, because like....the entire basis of JayKyle is that they DO have stories together and spent a whole year worth of weekly issues traveling the multiverse together in Countdown.....but there's like, practically no trace of their actual dynamics from that series or any specifics of literally any issue from that entire comic in most fics I’ve read, so its like.....idk, it tends to come across as more generic, not in the sense that it cant still be interesting, but more in the sense that it feels like just someone paired with Jason just because history between them EXISTS without any interest in exploring what that history actually IS....and at that point, its like, well there's no reason TO prioritize that ship over DickKyle for me personally, when like, I have a shit ton of headcanon reasons for why those two in a pairing specifically. *Shrugs* My logic. Its not for everyone, but it works for me.

4) Jason with a sword or Damian with a sword? I don't understand the question. Both. Both is good. All the characters should have swords. Swords are awesome.

5) Chris Kent vs Jon Kent - oof. I adore Jon, I really do. I love his dynamic with Damian, I love a lot of their specific stories, the parallels between them as friends and Bruce and Clark as friends....its all very bien. But I gotta give this one to Chris, because I'm always gonna have a soft spot for him because I'm a sucker for all abused kid heroes, and I just miss that funky little dude so much. There's so many stories we didn't get with him and were just ripe for the picking, but nooooo, DC's like lol you can't have nice things, here we just rebooted the entire multiverse and now Clark and Lois never adopted the son of Clark's worst Kryptonian rival and raised him with tender love and care awww does that make you sad, were you invested in him, WELL TOO BAD, HE'S GONE NOW AND BASICALLY NEVER EXISTED, NOW GIVE US YOUR MONEY ANYWAY MWAHAHAHAHAH.

Yeah. I'm still not over that. Probably will never be tbh, so I with great grudge-bearing do affirm that I'm gonna go with Chris on this one and like, he is a Priority for me and I'm still very keen on the idea of him and Duke being besties for random reasons that might not make sense to anyone but me, but eh, whatever.

[ragingbookdragon]

Crimes Against The Batfamily

A/N: Aye looks who’s back at it again with a post! TBH I didn't even realize I haven't posted a story in like two weeks. BUT!!! Now I am. This is one you’ve seen before from last year! The playscript! I hope you enjoy! -Thorne <3

Warnings: As usual, explicit language!

(Record scratches as screen comes to life revealing Dick Grayson (Alias Nightwing) and Jason Todd (Alias Red Hood) both holding bloodied rags to their noses. A voice is heard off camera, Bruce Wayne (Alias Batman), causing the boys to roll their eyes.)

Batman: This is incident number eleven of ‘Crimes Against The Batfamily’, parties consisting of Richard John Grayson and Jason Peter Todd, aliases Nightwing and Red Hood. (Sound of voice has shifted, now directed at parties.) What caused the incident? (The two boys glare at each other, neither speaking for a moment, then Red Hood shrugs and replies.)

Red Hood: (Nonchalantly) I don’t know what exactly caused it, but Dickhead punched me and that’s all I know. (Nightwing shouts in indirect anger, pointing at the other.)

Nightwing: (Angrily) No! He called me a fuckboy and I responded! (Red Hood rolls his eyes, looking off as he mutters under his breath.)

Red Hood: Classic trait of a fuckboy…they anger easily. (Party turns to other, voice in mock sincereness.) Maybe you should go see a therapist about your anger issues Dickhead. It’s not nice to punch other people. (Nightwing spins to look at the other, rising from his seat.)

Nightwing: (Intimidatingly) You wanna see anger issues?! I’ll give you anger issues! (Party launches itself at the other, and the two fall to the floor, shouts of anger and sounds of fists reach the recorder.)

Red Hood: (Blocking a punch from Nightwing.) It’s not my fault you get angry when someone calls you out for sleeping around! (Cries in pain.) Let go of my hair you dick!

Nightwing: I do not sleep around!

Red Hood: (Scoffing) Oh really?! Because I know of like ten different people who beg to differ!

(At this point, Batman intervenes, pulling the two apart, and the recorder fades to black. The screen brightens again, and a young boy, Tim Drake (Alias Red Robin) is seen, upper body sprawled halfway across the table, eyes staring off into the distance. A voice is heard, and a figure, Bruce Wayne (Alias Batman) appears, taking a seat across from the boy.)

Batman: (Sighing quietly) This is incident number thirty-one of ‘Crimes Against Family’, party consisting of Timothy Jackson Drake, alias Red Robin. (Batman reaches forward, gently nudging Red Robin on the head.) Red Robin, what caused the incident? (The boy jerks up, and shouts while gesturing to himself.)

Red Robin: (Admittingly) It was me! It was all me! I did it! (He looks at Batman, and hisses) And I’m not sorry about it. (Batman watches, then leans forward, voice soft.)

Batman: (Calmly) Red Robin you didn’t do anything. That’s why we’re here. (Party sits down, confusion on their face.)

Red Robin: (Disbelief) Wait what? What do you mean, ‘I didn’t do anything’?

Batman: Red Robin, you’ve been staring at a wall for the past six hours. You haven’t even- (Batman cuts off, shaking his head.) Wait, how long has it been since you’ve slept? (Red Robin shrugs.)

Red Robin: Dunno…fifty-six hours, give or take an hour. (He waves a hand around.) I don’t keep track. (Batman folds his hands together, eyes shutting.)

Batman: (Exasperated) Red Robin, how about you take a nap? (Red Robin gives a mock salute, already laying back on the table.)

Red Robin: Aye-Aye boss man.

(Batman lets out another sigh, and the screen fades once more. The recorder turns on again, and this time, two boys, Jason Todd (Alias Red Hood) and Damian Wayne (Alias Robin) are sitting handcuffed to the table. Bruce Wayne (Alias Batman) sits across from them.)

Batman: (Tiredly) This is incident number eighty-eight of ‘Crimes Against Family’, parties consisting of Jason Peter Todd, alias Red Hood, and Damian Wayne, alias Robin. (He reaches forward, tugging the cuffs to make sure they’re secure.) What caused the incident? (Neither party says a word. Red Hood is staring off into the distance, Robin is glaring at the camera. Batman clears his throat, repeating his question.) I said, what caused the incident? (Robin scoffs, leaning forward.)

Robin: (Confidently) I did nothing. I am innocent. (Red Hood snorts, turning to look at him.)

Red Hood: (Amusingly) You’re about as innocent as I am pint-sized. (Party leans forward, getting face to face with the other and speaks menacingly.) Which is…Not. At. All. (Robin glares at the other, and Batman flips a paper onto the table, reading off it.)

Batman: It says here that you two got into a fight over personal workspace.

Red Hood: (Rolling his eyes and muttering annoyed.) He started it. (The cuffs jerk against the table, and all eyes move to the small boy.)

Robin: (Whispering frostily) Take the cuffs off and I will finish it.

Red Hood: (Mockingly) And how are you gonna do that? Nip at my heels like the little ankle-biter you are? (Robin lets out a cry of anger, hands reaching for the older boy only to be stopped by the cuffs. He turns to Batman, fury in his voice.)

Robin: (Enraged) Father I demand retribution against Todd! He is mocking me!

Red Hood: (Copying the other party’s words wryly.) ‘Father I demand retribution against Todd…he is mocking me…’ (Party faces the other, smirking sarcastically.) Keep yipping ankle-biter. He might care one day.

(A long run of beeps sound in the recorder as Robin screams explicit words at the other party. Batman puts his head in his hands, and the recorder goes dark. When the screen appears again, four boys, Dick Grayson (Alias Nightwing), Jason Todd (Alias Red Hood), Tim Drake (Alias Red Robin), and Damian Wayne (Alias Robin), are sitting at the table. It is important to note that Tim Drake and Damian Wayne have been separated by Dick Grayson and Jason Todd, the two younger boys sitting at the ends while the two older boys sit in the middle. Bruce Wayne (Alias Batman) is sitting across from them, a weary look on his face.)

Batman: This is… (He sighs, running a hand down his face.) incident number one-hundred-twenty-two of ‘Crimes Against Family’… (He shuts his eyes, muttering to himself.) Christ how many are we gonna have? (Batman shakes his head, returning to the task.) Parties consisting of Richard John Grayson, alias Nightwing, Jason Peter Todd, alias Red Hood, Timothy Jackson Drake, alias Red Robin, and Damian Wayne, alias Robin. (Eyeing the others, he asks) What caused the incident? (None of the boys respond, prompting him to switch tactics.) I promise that if you just tell me what happened, you won’t get in trouble. (Nightwing and Red Hood are looking away, Red Robin is staring at his hands, but Robin’s eyes briefly meet Batman’s. Batman leans closer, urging him to speak.) You can tell me Robin, I won’t get upset. (Robin considers his words for a moment, then his mouth opens. Before he can speak, an arm rests along his chest and he looks over at Red Hood who is shaking his head.)

Red Hood: (Warningly) Snitches get stiches. (Robin blinks, then frowns.)

Robin: Did you just threaten me with bodily harm for telling the truth? (Another arm rests on his chest and he looks over to see Nightwing grinning at him.)

Nightwing: There’s no truth to tell, because we didn’t do anything kiddo. (Robin seems to understand what he is being told, and he turns back to Batman.)

Robin: I have nothing to say Father. We have not done anything. (Batman narrows his eyes at the four and leans back in his seat, crossing his arms. He simply stares at them, waiting for something. A ping sounds from somewhere in the room, causing the boys to glance at Batman who smiles, pulling something from his belt.)

Batman: (Apologetically) Sorry, I should get that. (He scans the small device, and Red Robin’s eyes widen as he leans forward.)

Red Robin: Hey! That’s my communicator! (Batman looks at the device then back to him.)

Batman: (Confused) Are you sure? It was left on my desk. (Red Robin nods as the device pings again.)

Red Robin: Yeah, it’s mine. (Batman nods.)

Batman: So then you want it back? (He reads the screen again.) Looks like Conner and Bart are meeting up for pizza later, they want you to go. (He eyes Red Robin, smiling.) I’d be willing to part with it…for information on what happened. (Red Robin begins to squirm in his seat and lets out a small groan. Red Hood leans forward, glaring at him.)

Red Hood: (Threateningly) Don’t you dare Timberly. (Red Robin turns to him.)

Red Robin: …Jason… (Red Hood shakes his head.)

Red Hood: He’s manipulating you Tim. Don’t give in. (Red Robin seems to have an inner battle until he looks back at Batman.)

Red Robin: I can meet up with them later. We didn’t do anything. (Batman nods, eyes moving to Red Hood, who is staring at the ceiling.)

Batman: Red Hood… (He’s cut off by Red Hood who chuckles and shakes his head.)

Red Hood: You might as well move on to Dickhead, old man. (He tips his head up, looking at Batman.) ‘Cause I ain’t got shit to talk about. (Batman raises his hands in defeat, turning to Nightwing who meets his gaze head on.)

Batman: Nightwing.

Nightwing: (Nodding) Batman.

Batman: You’re not going to talk, are you?

Nightwing: (Shaking his head, his voice firm.) I don’t have anything to hide. (He gestures to the others.) Neither do they. We didn’t do anything. (The others nod in unison, and Batman watches for a moment before sighing and nodding.)

Batman: Alright…I guess I can’t win. (He rises from the table but pauses and looks down at them.) I don’t think I tell you all enough… (He smiles sincerely.) I’m proud of each of you. (He turns away, making his way to the door when a cry of defeat sounds from behind.)

Red Robin: It was Dick and Jason! They started it and got Damian and I in on it! (Two shouts of indignation sound followed by a voice of agreement.)

Robin: Drake is right! Richard and Todd thought joyriding in the Batmobile would be fun and we got pulled in on it! (Red Hood lets out a gasp and turns to them.)

Red Hood: (Disbelief) You little snitches!

Red Robin: (Scoffing at Red Hood) Oh, you had it coming Jason! You’re the one who broke the vase in the hallway!

Red Hood: That was an accident! (He turns his attention to Batman, now watching the scene unfold.) Timber set the fire in the kitchen last week! (He points at Robin.) And the demon is the one who hacked the cameras at the gala!

Robin: That was Richard!

Nightwing: (He stares at Robin as if he’d been slapped, then points at Red Hood) Jason is the one who pantsed Two-Face last night!

Red Hood: (Pointing at Nightwing) You dared me to do it!

Nightwing: (Speaking knowingly) You could’ve said no.

Red Hood: (Incredulously) And be your bitch for a whole day because I was too much of a sissy to do a dare?! (Glowering at Nightwing at spitting.) Fuck. That. We do our dares like badasses!

(The four boys continue shouting out faults that have occured, resulting in a free-for-all that has an unimpressed Batman turning to the camera, his finger shifting to find the off switch. Sounds of fighting reach the recorder, and the screen goes black.)

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

I have a ton of insomnia writing in the drafts, so time to start unloading some of it. The usual “as is” rules apply, and I’ll try to keep most of it under the cut,

It just occured to me that I actually have one piece of good advice to give:

If you challenge someone to a duel, ALWAYS have a witness for the fight!

I learned this the hard way when I was a little girl. But to understand why I felt the need to even duel someone, you need to understand the background.

When I was a little girl my family lived in our house in town, which meant until I was 9 I was running around with a gang of kids. I say “kids”, but I pretty much mean boys. There were a couple of years during that time when a girl was inthe neighborhood, one being one of the best friends I had in my life and the other....not, but almost the entire time I was the only girl in the neighborhood.

Now some folks think being the only girl would be terrible, but in a lot of ways it was fine. Kids are kids, rampaging around the neighborhood, and thanks to my family I never felt things should be “girl stuff” and “boy stuff”. I just played.

 In fact, at times being the only girl even gave me a curious power position. I knew “girl things” they didn’t. I can still remember the shock on the face of one of the boys when I tried to explain that I didn’t just piss outside like them because of anatomical differences. He just assumed girls had dicks too. 

BTW, groups of very little boys can get awfully competitive about their dicks. Not that they called them that. They honest to god called them “ding-a-lings”! LOL  In fact, a few times they even had a contest where they would line up with their pants dropped wanting me (the only one that was exempt)  to decide which looked “best”. Remember, at the time we were very little kids, so the concept of “best” was exceptionally vague.** I hope I didn’t give any of those boys a lifelong complex because of something I said in all innocence! But geez, they were obsessed with the idea that whatever hung between their legs was very, very important.

Anyway, running around playing being a girl among boys wasn’t bad all the time. Heck, while the boys could fight over who got to play Han and Luke when we played “Star Wars” or Mark and Jason when we played “Battle of the Planets”, I always knew I wouldn’t have to compete for my part in the games. Though I’m still a little irked to the way their only solution to Gargantuas in War of the Gargantuas being both male was I’d play “the green Gargantua’s wife, at least we always found a way even if what we were playing didn’t have a token girl.

All that being said, there were real disadvantages too, especially as the bots came to learn the rules around gender. I was a girl. They knew it and at times they would think it meant I was supposed to defer to them. This led to many a fight and tears.

For instance, once one of the boys got a BB gun. 

Naturally we all wanted to take turns using it in a makeshift backyard shooting gallery. Trouble was, as far as they were concerned girls weren’t supposed to shoot. Now considering all the toy cap guns they borrowed from me when we played, and the gun I had that shot cork balls had been the envy of all the kids*** until this BB gun, it seems crazy they would think girls weren’t allowed “real” guns. I begged a turn, outshot them all, and never was allowed to touch the gun again. ****Having a girl be the best shot kinda stung for them! LOL

The boys would do this now and then, throw me for a loop with “you are a girl” as a reason I should or shouldn’t do a thing. Being a “sissy” was a common insult used among the kids. A kid should be tough and brave, try never to get crying or show weakness, or sometimes they would even use “like a girl” as an insult. 

I learned that my “girly” side was more of a target, so I got so in the toy chest in the living room I kept the guns, cars, blocks, etc for the boys to use, but kept hidden away in my bedroom the girly stuff like dolls. In fact I kept things like play makeup buried in drawer where no one could find them...

Yes, I was a girl, both in my personal identification and as the whole world saw me, and yet I hid my “girl stuff” like a teenager hiding drugs or dirty magazines. It was the big drawback of usually being the only girl. The girly side of being a girl was something to be quiet about.

So grew up thinking that the way to impress a guy was to be strong, tough,  smart, brave, and not at all squeamish. If boys admire each other for not being a sissy, then certainly they would admire a girl for being that way.  

Oddly enough, never once did a boy reciprocate my crushes because I wasn’t a sissy. Oh, they would like me for it, but it was seeing me as one of the guys and never as romantic potential. Or maybe not oddly. I may be hetero CIS female, but the world sees me as not girly enough in my presentation to quite believe me.

TBH, I still have a problem with that. I never learned the rules of being girly. I never was taught how to put on makeup, do hair, know about fashion, move in that swaying hips and crossed ankles when you sit kind of way... 

And down deep I don’t want to have to put on that act. I want to be me. I want someone to love me without makeup or styling, not because of the clothes I wear or because of skills with flirting games. I want to be loved for me, and girly is only part of me. Part of me is walks in the woods where I photograph snakes and spiders. Part of me is climbing in the roof to repair a leak or taking apart the hot water heater to figure out how to fix it....

I have always been a combination of things. Things like how I like romantic comedies and horror films, I picked out my antique sword because it felt like it would swing in my hand well and it had little flowers on the hand guard, or how I love classical and punk.I never wear dresses during the day, because they aren’t practical for my rough and dirty life, plus  they can make you very vulnerable. And yet at night I always wear the prettiest nightgown I can find. I had a unique “Captain’s Canopy Bed” as a child, because I loved both the captain’s bed (a bunk woth drawers under it billed as a “boy bed” by people that gender everything) and longed for a canopy bed. My father sensibly combined the two for me. To me it has never been about a contradiction or conflict, but just that different aspects manifest under different circumstances. 

I really can’t understand why people are expected to fit into catagories neatly, label themselves, force themselves to deny parts if themselves just to belong. Still,  I expect I would be happier if I could have at least forced myself to fake it.

Anyway, the boys were learning girls were “supposed” to be a certain way, and I was constantly insisting this wasn’t true. They would pick on me amd we would fight. Oddly, this “girls can’t” attitude never applied to fighting. They never went easier on me because I was a girl. 

Once they got me treed and the henchman boy was told to go get something to hit me with. I warned him not to, but he didn’t listen. As he went to get the weapon I lept out of the tree in a tackle, and began punching him. My grandmother ran out shouting for me to stop. “It’s not ladylike!!” she cried, while  I shouted back in frustration “They were going to hit me!!” 

Don’t worry, I wasn’t punished. Grandma..well, it’s complicated with her...and my parents would never punish me for something like that. Years later Mom would admit she and Pop were proud if me after that fight. “The boys picked on you so much I was glad you hit them”...

Hmmm, now that I think about it, Mom’s most common response to sexist attitudes in movies and tv shows is to grumble “Oh hit him!” Folks have no idea about Mom’s violent side, the part that watched Xena: Warrior Princess and sighed “I always wanted to be able to leap around and fight like that!” People think she is “sweet”, when Pop was always the family softie! LOL

As we got older, the sexism of the boys got worse and so did our conflict. One boy, a year older than me and the oldest of the usual gang, was the worst. His own mother was a rather strong and independent person, so it was almost confusing how he could be that way. As far as he was concerned the social structure was thatthe older the boy the higher the rank, and girls were at the bottom. It was inevitable that one day their would be an explosion.

The final straw came over, of all things, me wanting to make our gang of friends into a club. It was all the fault if a kids magazine called Dynamite, that put out a book on making your own club, complete with membership cards printed in a fold out of the cover you could cut out. It sounded like a great idea. It wasn’t.

To be honest, I shouldn’t have been at all surprised. By this point the oldest boy had gotten to be a complete pain about gender roles, but also about me in particular. My first day of kindergarten he’d been the only person I knew all day, so when I passed him in the hall I’d said “Hello”. The boy next to him asked who I was and he said “I don’t know!” right in front of me. I had started to consider our “friendship” differently after that, and his now increased insistence that boys were superior increased the rift.

To make matters worse, the boys had developed some sort of age based ranking. When I invited the oldest boy’s little brother to come to the club meeting too, the guy had been outraged. It had seemed natural to me, I mean I invited my little brother. I always wanted to include everyone. To the boys, the younger boys didn’t count and the older you were the more power you were “supposed” to have.

Now for the club I’d fixed up a corner of the shed out back. I put up posters, made a candle (I just loved making candles and melting wax when I was little...us GenXers lived dangerous lives!LOL), set up chairs and a table, had refreshments and, of course, the membership cards. I couldn’t wait for them to show up.

Once the boys arrived I said it was time to elect officers. Immediately the oldest boy announced there was no need and started to pass out the cards. He said he would be president because he was oldest, my favorite boy would be vice president, the thieving henchman would be treasurer because he was next oldest, the other boys would be just members, and I would be...secretary. 

Oh he was glad to explain. Girls are always secretaries. Only girls can be secretaries. Girls can never be president. The other boys accepted this.

Naturally I was outraged. This was NOT right! We were supposed to vote! And we were supposed to vote for who would be best for the job, not who was oldest or a boy. Girls CAN be president! And besides, the club was my idea and the clubhouse in my yard so I shouldn’t be stuck being the stupid secretary without even voting!!!!

There was a lot of shouting after that. The boys stormed off, taking the cards with them. I went in the house to take the refreshments, and the boys snuck back to trash the place. They tore the posters, smashed my candle, and turned over the furniture. 

I cried.

I was also furious.

I was beyond fed up with the oldest boy and his assumption of leadership. Now my favorite boy did apologize, but he was always the nice one. The others were unrepentant. The oldest boy insisted he was right that girls could never lead. 

There was only one thing left to do: Challenge the oldest boy to a duel.

I went right up to him and said I’d had enough. I was challenging him to a fight. One on one, just him and me. No weapons, just our strength. The winner would be the leader of the kids.

I know it’s absurd, but since physical fighting is what they valued I figured I had to go with it. Actually, if anything, a fight would be skewed in my favor. While the boy was a year older, I was a head taller. Where he was lanky, I’d gotten to be a sort of muscular and agile fat.***** Physically the avantage was mine, an since refusing to fight me would be so embarrassing to him I knew I’d get the fight. 

He agreed, and then I made a very stupid mistake. I decided to show him a bit of mercy. Since losing to a girl would be so humilating, I set the time and place where we would meet alone for our fight. I wanted to win, to make my point, but  I wasn’t trying to shame him.

And so the time came. We met in a back yard, in clear area  hidden from windows in case an adult was looking by trees. I wish I could tell you some dramatic blow by blow, but honestly I remember it as very quick. He fancied he knew fighting moves, got into a pose, and I flattened him. Almost admittedly I had him pinned to the ground where I sat on top of him until he admitted I had won. 

I went home overjoyed. This lasted until the kids got together. I, oh so foolishly, assumed I was now leader. The boy, however, was not about to give up power...or tell the truth. 

As an adult I realize my naivety, but at the time I was 7 or 8. I honestly had believed the boy would have been honest. I always told the truth, so why wouldn’t he? And since we had made a sort of “official” deal, he would be obliged to tell the truth. 

He lied. Right there, right in front of me, he lied. 

The boy announced he had won. I said he was lying, that I had won, and he laughed. Of course he had won. He was a boy. Did the boys really think  a girl could beat him?

 I offered to fight him again right there, but he refused saying he’d already won. I couldn’t get him to feel pressured to fight me again because now the boys wouldn’t really want him to. On some level I think they believed me and knew I would win if we fought again. As long as they didn’t see me clobber him they could pretend the boys “deserved” to be in charge. They needed the lie as much as he did.

And so I learned a lesson: witneses matter. People will almost always lie if the truth threatens them. 

You know, I think this is why I have always been obsessed with watching when something horrible is happening. I always had this feeling that even when I can’t help, I can be there for the person in some way. I’d listen, watch, and remember. When I was 9 I stood in the snow, no coat and no socks, waiting until a man was removed from a crashed car because I didn’t want to “abandon” him. I would report teachers that did something incredibly wrong, even though I knew the teacher would deny it and I knew my classmates were too afraid to back me up, because the truth had to be known. I wanted to be the witness I needed for that fight, someone to back me up when no one wants to hear the truth.

As a footnote, after the duel failed I tried one more way to defeat the oldest boy: Voodoo!

Well, voodoo by way of a book I’d been reading. It wasn’t real voodoo, or probably like any realistic magical practices. In the book someone had carved a skull into a tree, written someone’s name under it, and the  hammered a nail into the center of the skull with devastating consequences to the victim. I had a pocket knife and a nail, so I gave it a go.

Sadly voodoo didn’t work. 

Even more sadly the boy grew up to move away from this hick town, get a good job, get married and have kids. In other words, he got a far better life than I’ve had. Oh well, the universe never cares about fairness.

** Actually one boy always won, because TBH I liked everything about him best.

***Hilariously, one of the boys tried to steal my cork gun, claiming it was his. Pop had engraved my name in the gun sight, and when my father pointed at to ask what it said, the boy claimed it was his name! That boy was never very bright, always dishonest, and a born henchman! LOL You know, I bet that toy gun would have been illegal to make just a few years later, just because it literally fired things. Heck, maybe it already was and had been sitting on the store shelf for years before I got it. We couldn’t find one like it a coulle years later for my little brother.... 

****I want to point out being a good shot runs in the family. Back in the 1960s when my family had to shoot for self defense (long story) Mom was apparently a crack shot. On one side of her family she has had relatives that were at times the official best shot for their branch of the military. One, even as an old man in poor health, liked to show off how he could selectively shoot off small tree top branches a long diatance uphill from him. Plus, Mom likes to mention she is distantly related to Annie Oakley, which is apparenty true.

*****Traumatic stuff happened when I started school, triggering a bunch of sudden changes with me. One was weight gain, but I had stayed strong as ever. 

[jasonpng]

[ jeon jungkook. / male. / he/his. ] i heard han jaesung is going into business with their friends, but the twenty-five year old can’t go wrong with nine other people helping, right? they’re a former sous chef, but will be a chef at joliet bed & breakfast! their insensitive yet dependable personality is pretty fitting for that, i guess. the sight of them gives me the vibe of midnight drive-ins, humming to yourself as you work, a breeze ruffling through a clothesline and that one clip of a deflated dancing pikachu getting hauled off stage, and seeing that running across the sand is pretty sweet.

fabric softener, that one clip of a deflating dancing pikachu getting hauled off-stage, curling up in freshly warmed sheets, sizzling plates, the slow drag of a bow over a violin, bus rides with your head leaned against the window, earphones at full blast, midnight drive-ins, humming to yourself as you work, singing when you think you're alone, the beach at sunrise, a breeze ruffling through a clothesline

hi i’m miki and i’m excited 2 b here!!! this is m’boy jason (or jae, or jaesung) and he’s fairly new SO!!!! smash that like and i’ll come to u for plotting!

the stats

full name: jaesung “jason” han nicknames: jae, jayjay, jason, son, han solo age: 25 birthday: december 12 languages: english, korean, minimal japanese education: institute of culinary education graduate occupation: chef at joliet bed and breakfast, part-time food blogger hobbies: violin, eating, sleeping, collecting rock records, sketching mbti: entp blood type: b+ zodiac: sagittarius hogwarts house: gryffindor alignment: chaotic ANNOYING! sexuality: bisexual drinking, smoking, drugs: yes, yes, only marijuana faceclaim: jeon jungkook likes: rock music, classical music, herbal tea, garlic bread, any food in general, freshly washed sheets, dogs, astronomy, raccoons, coin laundries, anything vintage, horror films and documentaries, fiction books, wildlife, his motorcycle anubis (a super sexy harley davidson…he’s got that bad boy aesthetic going on but he is FAR from being one), his lil hamster bonnie dislikes: birds, horror films, anything scary, bitchy customers, stale coffee, fizzy drinks, people who are rude to service staff, cats (the film), spiders, korea’s educational system, the loch ness monster, soy milk

the biography

—o1. jason grew up in a modern korean household in maryland; his parents are more open-minded than the traditional korean family, so there’s really no dramatic backstory to write. he’s the eldest of three siblings, and they’re pretty much a tight-knit family. while he was encompassed by a totally western environment, his family never failed to remind them of their roots; they would travel to korea every summer to visit his grandparents in seoul.

—o2.  as a child, jason’s favourite past-time was watching his parents cook. his father is a renowned celebrity chef of a five-star restaurant in la, and his mother was the owner of a quaint bakery in ocean city. soon enough, his father was teaching him the basics of cooking. he was a natural, and by high school, he was on his way into becoming a chef like his father. the path to his dream career had been an easy one; his parents were well-known, and through family connections, jason earned himself a spot in one of the best culinary schools in the world: the institute of culinary education.  

—o3. wherever jason went, he was overshadowed by the family name. he loved his parents, he really did, but being the son of joowon han came with a privilege, of sorts. a privilege that he hated. people were convinced that jason only managed to get in ICE was because of his family background. he’d often hear whispers from peers; he was often criticised for depending on his parents—which was true, in a sense. jason didn’t have to worry about anything. while his fellow classmates were worrying over their career paths, he had a sous chef position waiting for him at his father’s restaurant right after graduation.

—o4. being the youngest sous chef in a five-star restaurant was difficult. twenty-one year olds weren’t taken seriously in the kitchen. especially not the head chef’s son, who was fresh out of culinary school and looked so out of place, with his dark leather jacket and ripped jeans. jason struggled the first few months; while  the people were cordial around his father, he had to endure passive-aggressive comments about his privilege behind the scenes. jason wanted to make a name for himself; he didn’t want to be reduced to a celebrity chef’s son who just got lucky. so he worked—he worked and worked and worked until the jealous muttering stopped and he gained the respect of his subordinates.

—o5. after three years into working with his father, the enthusiasm ebbed and jason felt nothing but dissatisfaction. he didn’t want this—he didn’t want to be clinging on to his father for support his entire life. fearing that his passion for cooking will wither if he kept on working at the restaurant, he quit and moved back to maryland, getting a place for himself and eager to learn to stand on his own two feet.

in-depth

—a natural-born leader: working as a sous chef enabled jason to have a great command of handling a team. at first, he had been meek, but through determination and his sheer drive to prove the negative people in his life wrong, he was able to cultivate himself into a good leader. in the kitchen, jason is totally in his element, oozing with confidence and assertiveness.

—the dependable one: jason is organised and he’s the type of person who you can rely on for help. he prioritises his friends and family over anything else. need someone to drive you home? jason’s the guy for you. suffering from a bad hangover? he’s got the perfect hangover shake. you lost your house keys and need a place to stay? jason’s got an extra room in his apartment ready. jason is always making sure his friends are well cared for. and probably also giving them lectures whenever they make questionable choices.

—this bitch is impulsive: as much as jason has his shit together, jason can be impulsive—you might catch him splurging on the new yeezy shoes, or planning a spontaneous, overpriced trip to the bahamas. he likes having fun, and sometimes, that energy gets him into tricky situations. he really likes spending money, and unfortunately, his parents never taught him the important value of thriftiness.

—sometimes he can be harsh: jason had been pampered all throughout his life, and sometimes he disregards other people’s feelings because he is simply oblivious—brutal honesty is a double-edged sword. it takes a lot to piss him off, because he’s rather good at handling his emotions, but when you successfully do, it’s not a pretty sight. he tends to say things he doesn’t mean in the heat of the moment. in addition, jason tends to hold grudges; if someone has done him wrong, you bet your ass he’ll never look at you the same way ever again.

+: energetic, headstrong, intuitive, protective

-: argumentative, insensitive, over-analytical, rash

miscellaneous

— drives around town with his bike! he has a car but it’s parked in his childhood home… he doesn’t really use it that much unless he needs to go out of the state or something

— has a white lil pet hamster named bonnie...she is his CHILD!!!!!! — he has a food blog that he constantly updates for fun; his following is steadily going up... amazin....

— has always been an artsy kid... if he didn’t like cooking so much he would’ve pursued a career in art — always seems to be snacking on something? raw carrots in particular...... — he is also a gym rat! he eats a damn lot, so he’s gotta burn those calories, right? he usually jogs early in the morning and goes to the gym after work — he’s played the violin ever since he was a child! he wants to learn how to play the guitar but he keeps on procrastinating

the wanted connections (if any of these interest you, hit me up! some are more detailed than others but all of them are open to modifications tbh, we can develop them however we want :) feel free to  choose multiple plots..,.,. go crazy)

— vibe check. - sometimes, he forgets to take care of himself and this person!!!! is his mom friend, the terry to his jake peralta, the person he can count on when he’s crossfaded in the middle of nowhere at 3 in the morning. (ivy)

— bff. - the ride or die. the one person jason would literally murder for. he loves them and  considers them as his family. they are 100% with each other and? both are probably equally chaotic sfjldsdjfhsdlk (minnie)

— the squad. - i really love the idea of jason having three close friends! i can see them going on spontaneous trips and doing really, really dumb shit in general dsjfls (1/3) — the roommate. - PLS! he needs a roommate...imagine the domesticity i’m WEAK (minki)

— buzzfeed unsolved. - jason believes in the supernatural. this person doesn’t. jason spends a lot  of his free time trying to convince this person that ghosts are, in fact, real, often taking them to ‘haunted’ places and attempting to summon spirits through his ouija board. (minnie)

— i’m baby. - basically, jason dotes on this person like a mama bird. he cooks them meals, drives them to places and always keeps an eye out for them. — the confidant. - the person he could say he truly trusts the most; while jason is generally sociable, he finds it hard to open up to people, preferring to be the confidant than to confide in his friends. they’re the first person he runs to when he’s upset or stressed. (sienna)

— friends. - open to multiple of all types (fellow foodie, gym buddies, unlikely, one-sided, frenemies, neighbors, etc.)

— flings, hookups, fwbs. - open to multiple. (can be messy, can be casual)

— exes. - jason has lived in ocean city all his life, so anything is possible! they could’ve been at the same high school, maybe they broke up because jason moved to new york and the relationship fizzled out, they could be on good terms or bad terms………GIVE ‘EM TO ME (sienna; exes on good terms with a tiny bit of unresolved feelings)

— the pianist. - this is a lil specific, but basically i imagine jason having participated in music competitions and performed in galas, and this person is their partner!! their other half!!! the nodame to his chiaki!!!! if ur muse can play the piano pls hmu this is just a really cute relationship that i cant stop thinkin about bc jason is a violin nerd (ivy)

— romance. - i’m a hoe for spicy plots! i don’t really want to give out anything specific, but some suggestions aaaare: opposites, exes w/ feelings, one-sided love, skinny love, a love-hate relationship….. 

feel free to go through my wanted connections tag for inspiration!

[thcosawycr]

( PAUL JASON KLEIN, CIS MALE, HE/HIM ) Have you met THEODORE SAWYER yet? They’re the TWENTY-SEVEN year old MUSICIAN who has been living in Portland for NINE YEARS now. Word has it that they’re ADVENTUROUS, but can also be TACTLESS at times. Don’t worry if you haven’t seen them yet, just play WHERE IS MY MIND by THE PIXIES and you’ll be sure to get their attention. 

it is i, caro, out here with my dumb boy theo. i will be making most of my gifs for this guy bcos he has 0 resources (ok i’m lying i already have a good handful made but ). but if u take away anything at all from this intro pls know regardless if i use the recent gifs of him with short or blond hair… he truly is long haired brunet paul ok this is the most vital information of this entire post. (i’m lying everything else is important too i guess).

my little drummer boy, theodore – fun fact he absolutely hates being called theodore so pls if you love the boy call him theo, teddy or even sawyer

he is the eldest of three. he has two younger sisters and he is the classic Protective older brother. 

growing up was quite uneventful in the best of ways. theo had a pretty pleasant childhood. loving parents and a relatively healthy, happy family. he went through the normal awkward puberty phase, endured his share of teenage bullies, struggled his way through history & physics 

while he was always quite close to both of his parents, his father and him bonded over their love of music at quite a young age. theo grew up knowing not to touch his dad’s vinyl as it was his sacred collection. still the boy would listen at any chance he got. hc theo layin in his basement floor listenin to all the oldies.the rolling stones stan right here u will hear beast of burden blastin from his room

he had his own bond over music with his mother as well. as a young child she taught him basics on the piano -- she wasn’t a teacher of any sort, but she taught him all she could until it was time to start taking lessons. piano lessons came first. he really wanted to jump right into guitar tbh, but he got looped into taking piano lessons. when he got to middle school you had to have a certain number of years in piano to take up percussion in his music class and guess who had those years of piano lessons under his belt !!! u guessed it theodore !!! this is where his love of the drums came !!!

this boy has a niche for instruments. it didn’t just stop with the piano and drums. theo got his guitar lessons, went through a harmonica phase, he’s dabbled with a bass. he can write a melody better than he can write a text. once it comes to lyrics he’s done for -- theo just isn’t very good with words.

he moved out to portland fresh at 18 -- it’s where he attend uni... many... years.. ago. he’s been in portland for 9 years! he met friends and pretty much decided to settle down here after graduation. he’s hoping the band will take off and he won’t actually need to settle anywhere ever -- theo is about that touring life

he’s in a band called the fugitives with his pals & roommates clark and jed!! 

big computer nerd tbh this kid went to uni for computer science?? what?!? he graduated w a job offer to get into app developing, but didn’t take it bcos music was his priority

tbh theo is an irresponsible mess most of the time.

he sleeps through his alarms – literally will wake up late in the afternoon every day, is constantly late to everything. all his closest pals know if u want theo to be On Time you have to tell him to get there at least a half hour before he really needs to be. on many occasions in his adolescence he has been fired from his jobs because of missing shifts/calling out 

maybe u could see this coming, but he’s pretty much a night owl. he’ll stay up into the wee hours of the morn dickin around and sleep the day away.

says “oh baby!”, “nah” and “sick” way too much

overall pretty loud and outgoing

is extremely flighty and unreliable when it comes to all things romantic. although it doesn’t FEEL like it to him, he’s actually pretty charming.

wanted connections: he needs other computer nerds, a neighbour he is probably constantly annoying bcos he’s being too loud, exes on bad terms because theo probably fucked it up a lot, exes on good terms that are actually friends, hook ups, maybe someone he can write music with because he’s shit a shit lyricist, someone that will talk conspiracies with him, but honestly i would be so excited for literally any connection pls come plot with me !!!!

[quinnmorgendorffer]

I have never watched Cats, I only know of it because of the trailer for the 1998 movie was in front of Barney's Great Adventure VHS so it's ingrained in my memory that way. (MEMORYYYYYYYYYYYYY, ok I love that song) For the most part I ain't got no issues with it. It's weird but I appreciate it. But girl. This trailer. This movie. It looks so weird. Why don't they have cat noses? Is anything even rendered? Why didn't they just do makeup? I'm so confused.

;alskjdf okay, one, I LOVE that you have memories from Barney VHSes like I do, because Barney was one of the biggest, non-Cats influences on my childhood.  But I’M SORRY I’M GOING TO RANT ABOUT MY CATS FEELINGS RIGHT NOW OKAY

OKAY! So! The thing with me and Cats in general is that......my family moved to New York when I was 4, about an hour-ish from the City, and we lived there until like a month before I turned 7.

Anyways, I was fortunate enough to see plenty of Broadway shows as a kid, including my very first Broadway show, Cats. I loved it, I loved the animal and the musical, and was pretty obsessed with it. I saw it at least once more on stage, we owned the VHS of the taped show, which is how I learned the names of many of the “extras” (and we eventually got the DVD of it, of course). I got the book of the original poems (fun fact, “Memory” is one of two songs in the show that DOESN’T have lyrics by T. S. Eliot). I pretended to be the cats, even! My family all knows it very well from me and and my sisters (at least two of them) loving it from a young age. Two of our cats growing up were named “Grizabella” and “Rum Tum Tugger”, and those weren’t even the cats I named! Like, the musical was a huge part of my life as a kid. The “Now and Forever” ad music can still play in my head at a moment’s notice, and I was devastated when it closed because those ads promised me it would be there NOW AND FOREVER!! And, even years later, when The Phantom of the Opera first overtook it as the longest running musical (it’s now fourth under Phantom, The Lion King, and Chicago), I honestly was so displeased a;lsdkfjas 

So, this musical has always hold this weird place in my heart, where I love it unironically but I’m also like aware that if I had seen it for the first time at a different age, I would’ve detested it. I still think there are some legit bops in it, and I get the urge every now and then to watch the recording - I can’t listen to the OBC or Original London Cast versions, though, because so many of the songs have gotten better and were altered from those version, particularly “Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer”, god, the original versions are SO BAD compared to what it became, the whole reason why I want a brother and sister cat named after them.

So, they announce they’re doing this movie version and I’m already like.....very skeptical. Because why would they do a movie of one of the most made fun of shows of all time? 

Then casting starts. First they just say Taylor’s in it, but won’t say who she is, same with James Corden. I assumed he’d be Bustopher, though, and assumed she’d be Bombalurina or one of the other more “narrating” cats, so, cool. Jennifer Hudson as Grizabella? Awesome. Ian McKellan? Idris Elba - in what’s supposed to be a non-singing or speaking role? Weird choice, but, okay. Professional ballerina for the silent ballerina role? Iconic! Hey, Jason Derulo had recently done something talking about his classical music training and sang something from Phantom and I was sold on him. Dame Judi Dench as a character called “he” who has “married nine wives”? Why not! It sounded like good casting and while I was just hoping they could, you know, basically film the stage production again or maybe do something animated if they really wanted to do this, I figured I’d give it a shot.

Then they said it was going to have CGI. And I knew it would be a hist show.

Then the trailer dropped a day earlier than planned and, clearly, I HAVE LOST MY MIND.

WHY ARE THE NOSES LIKE THAT? WHY DID THEY GO THIS WAY? WHY DID THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE BOOBS? WHY ARE THE CATS SMALLER THAN KNIVES WHEN THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE CAT-SIZED? WHY DID THEY DO JENNIFER HUDSON SO DIRTY IN HER LOOK??? WHY IS JASON DERULO THE ONLY ONE LOOKING PASSABLE???

Look, I knew this would be a mess from the get go. An adaption of this musical would always be a fucking mess. But this is, pun intended, a CAT-astrophe. Make-up would’ve been much better. Filming a semi-live version a la the other version would’ve been better. The camp of people writing around in leotards with heavy make-up and tails is part of what makes Cats, Cats! This is a huge, weird, uncanny valley, horrifying mess.

AND I AM LIVING FOR IT. Since day one, I have said "I can’t believe I’ll be seeing this opening day”, and by GOD am I fucking seeing it on opening day, come hell or high water. Opening weekend at the very least.

It’s going to be a shit show, but it’s my shit show. And I will watch it gladly.

(BTW Bombalurina is probably the role I’d want to play the most, partly because there are too many legendary versions of “Memory” to live up to, and she gets to sing “Grizabella the Glamor Cat” and the actual best song in the show, “Macavity”. So good on Taylor Swift, tbh.)

[moviegroovies]

so to me, one of the hallmarks of a good piece of media is people willingly thinking about the characters after it’s over.

obviously, this isn’t like, a 100% success rate kind of thing. there are objectively good, enjoyable pieces of media out there that have no “fandom” type presence on the internet, because, while it exhibited great worldbuilding/storytelling/framing/what have you, it just wasn’t made up of the kinds of characters that people latch on to; the joke about avatar (2009) having less than 100 fics on ao3 despite being the best selling movie of all time for a solid decade is well known because of this phenomenon exactly. amazing cgi, solid plot, but at the end of the day, not that many people cared about jake sully. even still, i think this character-imprinting thing has an important, often overlooked role in intrinsically endearing people to movies that, outside of this factor, might be easily forgettable or even outright disliked. 

case in point: my movie of the day/week/month (how often do i post on this blog, anyway?)....

that’s right, lads, today i’m going to talk about the lost boys. 

if you’ve seen the lost boys, you’ll probably know that it’s not like, objectively, a masterpiece. in fact, if i were feeling particularly uncharitable, it would be easy for me to describe it as a fairly straightforward, low-budget horror b-movie, with a aesop-heavy and simplistic plot and a penchant for cheesy special effects, saved only by its rockin’ soundtrack.

...but i won’t.

i won’t, because using that description would leave out a detail i think it’s completely unfair of me not to touch on: the characters. i love them!! i was hooked from just about the very start of the movie by david’s creepy, affably evil leadership style, sam’s dorky little brother-ness, and michael’s 3cool5school airs. each of the characters, down to the frog brothers (named edgar and allan after the esteemed mr. poe, which really tickled me), the other lost boys, grandpa, lucy, and max, have their own distinct quirkiness that makes them memorable and draws me to want to explore more of their world, more of their stories. 

not enough to watch the infamous direct-to-dvd sequels, of course, but you get what i’m saying. 

there’s an old tip in writing that says something along the lines of “good characters can save a bad plot, but a good plot can’t save bad characters,” and that pretty much sums up my thoughts exactly on this movie. like, the plot itself is pretty much the message ‘peer pressure is bad’ wrapped up in some ugly monster makeup; not exactly cult classic material. however, like i’ve said, the characters and the fact that we get genuine, endearing interactions between them outside of just furthering the plot save it from the dumpster fire and, together, put together a story greater than the sum of its parts. no, it’s not a fuckin’ cinematic masterpiece by any stretch of the words, but it’s a fun movie, and there’s a reason i’ve watched it four times in the past three days, you know? 

(a good chunk of that reason was me slowly losing my grip on my sanity as i frantically put in the dvd over and over again, desperately trying to make myself attracted to kiefer sutherland so i could enjoy the movie to the fullest extent of my ability. i’m proud to announce a perfect success rate, and a slightly degraded sense of taste in men, reflecting the completion of that goal. 

if you too want to find something to lust after beyond his objectively ugly as sin face, trust me when i say it’s all in the voice. mmmmm) 

my favorite thing that the lost boys did was the exploration of different types of friendship and familial bonds. that’s the most striking thing about the movie for me; not only are the characters individuals whom i would like to explore, their interactions with each other are touching and worth exploring in their own right. there’s definitely something about some stories that drives people to write fanfiction (or is that just me? ha ha), and imo, the lost boys totally has it. in fact, while the fandom is sitting pretty at 600+ fics on ao3 (take that, avatar), i was honestly sort of surprised there weren’t more, exploring all the interesting ‘what if’s’ the film presented, and expounding on the bonds that we got to see the effects of in the limited screentime we had. 

what i liked about those bonds was that there were such a multitude of them. there were quite a few platonic bonds making up the crux of the movie (being, in my opinion, much more interesting than the main romantic bond which was explored through star and michael, although isn’t that kind of always the case in these 80′s teen movies? i can’t think of a single designated couple i was actually invested in except for veronica sawyer and jason dean... ferris bueller and sloane peterson, maybe? but i also feel like those two were making a cameron sandwich, so idk if it counts lol), but the way they were treated was cool in that they were unique: we got to see two different kinds of sibling bonds, with michael and sam emerson joking around in an easy, teasing way that totally screamed “wow, this movie was written by someone who actually has a brother” to me (isn’t it sad that some people have clearly never so much as seen a set of siblings in their life, judging by the way they write them?) while edgar and allan frog seem to take themselves more seriously, like a pair of army buddies, we got to see the pack-like bond of the lost boys and the (mostly) good-natured way they hazed michael into their group before things went to shit with them, we got to see star (and some of the lost boys, if you pay attention) being protective and maternal around laddie, and we got to see the uneasy alliance turned nerdy friendship between the frogs and sam. there are also three parent-child bonds that get explored, between lucy and her father (it’s a pretty sweet take on the kindhearted grown child taking care of senile-ish father thing) and lucy and her boys, each of which she has a distinct relationship with: sam is the baby, while michael she seems to level with and trust more, even after he starts getting into trouble and acting up. 

then of course there are two (three, if you count the widow johnson/grandpa emerson subplot, which.... i totally do) romantic relationships: star and michael falling in a sort of love-at-first-sight passionate relationship that soon dooms mikey and eventually saves star, while lucy tries her best to get back into the dating game with max, who is nefarious, of course, but also a little bit sad. remember what i said about what-ifs? i would love to see a fic exploring what might have happened had max’s plan worked out after all, but i guess that’s neither here nor there.

not to be a blatant slash shipper jumping on any two male characters who move or anything, but i think possibly the most important/influential relationship in the whole thing was that between david and michael; michael, obviously, got drawn into the lost boys’ circle by his insta-attraction to star, but he sticks around because of david. he pretty much ignores star once they get to the cliff that night, his attention focused on david because he’s there, and he’s intense, and michael is kind of a dumb bi bitch totally captivated. he drinks max’s blood at david’s taunting, and in direct opposition to star’s advice. there’s a lot i could say on this subject but tbh i’m running out of steam, so that might be a thing for a whole different post.

basically, there are a lot of cool interactions in this movie, and i think a lot of film makers could take note of that. even critically acclaimed, award winning movies being made in today’s world tend to fail to hit that special note, that character-imprintation which makes the audience not only stay engaged to the end, but also to care. not every movie needs that, of course; not everything can launch a darkhorse fandom the way the lost boys has, and honestly, not everything should... unless it’s trying to cater to my interests, in which case, well. 

if all movies were made to cater to my interests, i would have the time of my fucking life, but it’d probably be dark days for the rest of y’all.

thinking about it now, the lack of that element is kind of what makes me wary of the horror genre in the first place; i find so many of those movies just boring as all hell, because they’re too into the “scaring” thing without any of the “caring” thing. people, if we don’t care about the characters we’re watching, then who the fuck gives a shit if they get devoured by shitsucking vampires, anyway? finding the lost boys, a “horror” (i guess i use the term loosely) movie which relied heavily on those character interactions was honestly a godsend, because THIS is what i want to see more of. going down that line of thought, i think it’s honestly a shame and a half that the sequels which joel schumacher planned never got to see the light of day (and, of course, that we were instead left with the tribe, which for the life of me i refuse to fucking watch). the interactions between the lost boys could have been the most interesting part of the movie, if only they had been spotlighted a bit more. that would have been the case in the proposed prequel, the beginning, which would see the boys start out before they became vampires at all. reading about the script for that is honestly sending me, tbh. we could have seen that, and what we got instead were “sequels” that focused mainly on the frogs, when they connected to the original movie at all? where’s the fucking justice?

whatever. that’s the one thing about this franchise i never could stomach; all the damn frog brothers.

(till next time!)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #213

"there's a voice in my head, says i'm better off dead, but if i sing along a little fucking louder to a happy song, i'll be all right."

Are there popsicles in your freezer right now? No. Ice cream? No. Is there a lamp in your bedroom? Well, two heat lamps for Kaiju and Venus. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Last time you ate a salad? Yikes, it's been a long time... Can you name 2 books of the Bible? Uhhh Luke and Revelations? Do people usually think your brother is handsome? I don't know, I haven't lived with him since I was a kid, and he doesn't live in my state. So we don't know the same people. Have you ever crawled thru a vent? Not to my memory. Are there toothpicks in your kitchen? They're in the bathroom. How many living grandparents do you have? One. Do you eat more than 3 meals a day? No; I don't even always have three. Do you know how old your house is? I believe it was made in the '70s. Do you think you have great potential for success? Meh. Have you applied any lipstick, chapstick, gloss, etc to your lips today? No. Would you rather have tan or pale skin color? Pale. Sometimes I hate it, but I like it more overall. Especially when you're a goth at heart know what I'm sayin'. Last time you entered a high school? Probably my sister's graduation. Last time you rode a bike? It's been years, dude. Probably not since high school. Do you drink your water from the tap? You couldn't pay me to. Our water is technically clean, we've had it tested, but dead serious, the hot water smells like rotten eggs. I'm pretty sure Mom said it's something about the salt content in the pipes. But nevertheless, mind over matter would nooot work. Is there any kind of design on your socks? I'm not wearing socks. Have you ever had an ice cream cake for your birthday? No, I'm not a fan. Do you use dryer sheets? Yes. Do you like Subway? Yeah. What was your worst mistake in your life? Letting a guy become god, the entire universe, and more to me. Is this year the best year of your life? Oh, hunny- Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? I don't think so. Did you sleep well last night? I never do. I always wake up at least once. What’s the last song you heard? "Happy Song" by Bring Me The Horizon is on repeat. What is your favorite line from a TV show? I don't have a clue. Any current family issues? No. Who is the last friend you spent time with outside of school? Summer and I talked for a while at my niece's b-day party a few days back. What do you think of your mother? Your father? Your siblings (if there are any)? I love them. There's one sister I don't know so can't really say anything on her, then I do have another sister who, if I can assume via Facebook interactions, can't be too fond of me. But I could be mistaken with my habit of said assuming... Who/What is one person/thing that had the biggest impact on your life? Who: Jason. What: my mental health. What is the biggest problem in your life right now? How isolated I am and void of purpose I feel. What is one band that you find yourself going back to again and again? You mean like, stop liking but then get back into? None, I think. Have you ever had a crush on someone of the same gender as you? Yes. Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender as you? Yes. Do you and your dad get along? Yes. What’s the longest amount of time you’ve ever kept a goldfish alive for? Idk. Can you see your purse right now? Yes. Are you wearing any perfume? What kind? No. Are there products in your hair? No. Have you ever eaten cat food? I don't think so, though I wouldn't be surprised as a kid. How many pets do you have? Six. Do you actually like them? All but my sister's dog. I can't stand him. Do you have one best friend who is always there for you? My girlfriend. Do you wear skirts a lot? I never do. I hate my legs. Do you basically live in jeans? I have zero jeans. Do you wear sweatpants a lot? Not really; if I'm not in pjs, I'm usually in dance or yoga pants. How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? Zero. Do you like hoodies? Yeah. Big ones or the form fitting kind? Bigger ones. Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? I think I did. Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? I go back and forth, lol. But no, I have regrets. Do you love your computer? It's got a few issues, but yeah. Do friends or family come first? Family of the heart, anyway. Us sharing blood doesn't mean shit to me, honestly. What’s your lucky number? I don't believe in "lucky" numbers. Who were the last 5 people you spoke to? I'll include via technology because otherwise I have no clue. Mom, Sara, Emma, and two women interested in adopting Kaiju. Do you have the same password for everything? No. Do you get shy around the person you like? Sometimes. What color is your phone? Dark navy. Do you prefer pens or pencils? Pencils. Do you like peanut butter? Yes. If you could live forever, would you? Hell no. Do you talk in your sleep? A lot. What was the last thing you regretted? Probably depression binge-eating something. Are you any good at cutting hair? Never tried. Do you like your yearbook picture this year? N/A What was the last YouTube video to make you laugh? Ummm there was something last night, but idr what. Do you like tomatoes? No. Do you have a pool? I wish. How would you describe your style? Too poor and lazy to be a goth so dresses in whatever is at the top of my drawer tbh lmao. Do you still talk to any of your exes? One. Have you ever been arrested? No. What was the last thing you watched on TV? I don't watch TV by my own volition anymore and there's not even a TV in my room, so... I really don't know. Do you have a tan? Even the Irish are ashamed of me. What was your most embarrassing moment? Who knows. I'm so easily humiliated and affected by it that I can remember times I've been even remotely embarrassed as far back as pre-k. Do you fall for people fast? No. Do you tell your parents everything? No. Are you quick to judge? Depends. Not generally. When was the last time you crawled through a window? I have zero clue. Are you scared of spiders? Most, yes. What would you do if the doctor told you that you were pregnant? Have a full-blown panic attack despite that being physically impossible. Do you plan on moving within the next year? It'd be nice, but I estimate it'll be around two more years. Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah. How many cars can fit in your driveway? Hm. A few, since the parking area behind the house is decently-sized. Are you taller than your mom? No. Are you a cuddler? Yes. Sleep on your back or stomach? My stomach/upper torso kinda to the side. Think of the last time you were angry. Why were you angry? I don't remember. Though I know I was mad recently. How long has it been since you had sex? Almost four years. Who was the last person to call you babe? Sara. Last reason you went to the ER? My sister got in a car wreck. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yeah. When was the last time you shaved your legs? It's been maaaany months. What facial cleanser do you use? Biore. Do you use a blowdryer? No. If someone wanted to know what you smelt like, what should they smell? Dogs and cats lmao. Have you ever cheated on the significant other that you have now? No. For that one week a month, do you hate being a woman? Still rather be a woman. Favorite underwear brand? Idk. Last thing you bought at the mall? A book. Do your parents like your boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes. What if an ex asked to be back in your life? Aaron: We've never had issues, we just drifted apart. It'd be weird for him to ask that, but I mean, sure? Juan: I don't know. Probably not. Jason: I REALLY don't know. We could probably be friends at a distance. Tyler: No, I think. Girt: He's still in my life. If you’re on a laptop, how much charge does it have right now? It's charging and only tells me the minutes until it's at full charge. Last gift you received? I don't know. Lesson you recently learned? I absolutely cannot work in a busy environment. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Probably ketchup. What is a field of study that is of your interest? Zoology. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Thinking too hard on what the appropriate amount of eye contact is. Have you ever laid in a hammock? Yeah. What time of day do you feel mostly at peace? Morning. How has the weather been treating you lately? It's way too fucking hot and humid. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? We've had numerous cats be hit by cars. It was always sad, but I mean, I got through it. Especially as I was just a kid and didn't quite fathom how serious death was, nor did any cats I was SUPER attached to die that way. What can you go a day without doing? Going outside. What can’t you go a day without doing? Using some form of technology. Talking to Sara. Who do you spend most of your time with? No one. I'm usually alone. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. What type of quality is a must-have in a friend? A caring heart. Have you ever eaten a zucchini? A fried one that was sliced into chips. What type of art would you hang up in your room? Dark art or fandom-related stuff. What goes good with a nice cold glass of milk? Oreos omggggg. What fruit is too sweet to you? None, I think? How much money did your last vacation cost? I don't even remember my last vacation. Have you ever taken a physics class? Yeah. What are your thoughts on celebrity idolization and ‘fangirling/fanboying?’ Oh boy, I can't talk shit here for obvious reasons lmao. What is the messiest area in your home? I'm not sure... I haven't been in my sister's old room in forever, and I can't remember if it's empty or not. If it is empty - hell, even if it isn't -, the answer's probably the laundry room. Who was the last person you called? My mom. What’s your favorite computer game genre? Horror is my favorite game genre period. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Well, Mom had mixed feelings about Juan, but so did I. She didn't not like him, though. Do you take public transportation to work? N/A. Public transport doesn't even come here. What extracurricular activities did you do when you were growing up? Soccer for one season (I hated it), softball, basketball, briefly cheerleading, and dance. Has anything unusual happened to you recently? Idk. I don't think so. Do you like chicken korma? I have no clue what that is. What was the last type of tea you drank? I never drink tea; I hate it. Have you ever been severely mentally ill? Yes. Where is the most interesting place you could go that’s within day-trip distance from your house? Stealing previous answer: Washington D.C. Do you ever rearrange your furniture? No. Have you received financial help from your parents in the past 5 years? Lol I'm still financially dependent on them. Are you a fast or a slow eater? I am an extremely fast eater. I'm not messy or anything, I just, eat how I feel is normal? Just chew until you've done so enough to swallow. What room(s) of your house did you last vacuum? Mine. How old were you when you had your first relationship? My first "real" relationship started at 15. I had a middle school bf for just like... a month or so, but that was all puppy-dog love. Why did your last relationship end? I verified that I didn't like him romantically, and I also found I was just too guarded. In our four months of dating, I got no closer to him than I was from the start. I wasn't ready to date a guy again. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? No idea. Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? No. Do you live in a high cost-of-living area? No. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? Ew, no. Do you ever feel like someone would be disappointed to see your body or are you comfortable with your body enough where you don’t think that? I fucking hate my body and I'm sure anyone else would too. What is your favorite flavor of Monster? I don't like Monster. Do you follow your head or your heart? Both, I guess. It depends. How do you act under pressure? Did somebody say PANIC?!?!?!?! Do you ever call people just to hear the sound of their voice? No. Do you ever look back at your yearbooks? No. It'd probably depress me. Have you ever ran from the police? No. Have you ever written on someone’s face in your yearbook? Ha ha yeah, back as a kid... Are you double jointed? No. Who was the last person to yell at you? Mom. What is your favorite stuffed animal that you own? My first stuffed meerkat I named after Zaphod from MM. Or my moose Brownie. Do you have any trophies? Somewhere. Do you work out? No. What grade are you in? I’m not in school. Do you like screamo music? No. Let me hear words, please. If I learn the lyrics, I can /sometimes/ enjoy the song, though. What does your wallet look like? It's rectangular with a Harley Quinn design. Do you have any hickeys on you? No. Is weed a drug? *Technically*, by definition, yes Who’s the first person you turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on? Mom or Sara. Would you cheat on someone for revenge? Or if they wouldn’t find out? No, that's fucking stupid. If you got pregnant right now, would you keep the baby? If I was, God forbid, raped, I don't think I could. If I had unprotected sex willingly, I truly think pregnancy would traumatize me, but I'd probably go through with it and put it up for adoption. I'd want to take responsibility for my actions. Does your family have a secret? No. Are you prejudice against any groups of people? No. If someone gave you a houseplant, would you keep it? Yeah, to be nice. That fella wouldn't live long, though. When/where are you most likely to sing? In the car. Are there any exercises that you do regularly? I'm trying to get in the habit of planking every day since it works out your whole body. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? HELL YES!!!! If you had a son right now, what would you name him? Probably Damien. Who names their son after a Markiplier character? Me. But real talk, I like the name. Do you own a desktop or a laptop? A laptop. Have you kissed more than three guys this year? I haven't kissed any guys. Who’s with you? Mom's on the couch outside my door. Can you use chopsticks? I highly doubt it, especially because I have tremors. When did you last go to an amusement park? Oh, wow. I actually think this was shortly before Jason and I broke up. So 2015. Are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you? Don't you fucking dare joke about rape, retardation, suicide, or self-harm. What would you do if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both females. We can't. Your phone is ringing. It’s your ex. What do you say? I don't have any of my exes' numbers, so I'd answer it and say "hello?". Are any of your texts in your inbox locked? A couple from Sara. If there were no letters on the keys on your keyboard, could you still type? Yes; I don't look at the keyboard when I type. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Twice now. Do you currently have a scar? I have a lot. Have you ever seen somebody get shot? No. You have $5 and need to buy snacks at a petrol station. What do you buy? I mean, it depends on what I'm up for. Usually Reese's or something sour. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be? Probably a dolphin. What do you order most off the internet? Clothes. Describe the last time you were injured? So I have this awful habit of tearing my fingernails when they get long, and I peeled it way too short. Rock concert or symphony? Y'all know I'm picking rock. What is the wallpaper of your mobile phone? Mark and Chica, and my home screen is Sara and me. Most recent movie you’ve watched at the cinema? Detective Pikachu. Name an actor/actress you’ve had the hots for? Jason Momoa. My straight side is certainly still there, friends. What’s your favorite kind of cake? Red velvet. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. Have you ever done ballet? No. Do you listen to classical music? No. Do you watch Spongebob? I don't watch TV period. Do people consider you intelligent? Those in my life seem stuck on high school me, when I was really smart. I don't think I am anymore. What curse word do you use the most? "Fuck," oops. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? Well yeah, I'm probably gonna BE that person one day, lmao. What’s the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? It's impossible to mispronounce my name... The only thing that sometimes happens is my name is misspelled.

[pop-punklouis]

hilarious that you’re a fan of someone so basic as charlie puth when you’re a music reviewer and tend to be real pompous about music and talent lmao

yoooo i usually don’t reply to messages of this caliber at all anymore about mostly anything lmao regardless not sure where you’re getting me being pompous about my music taste at whenever i’ve never been shy about part of my heart belonging to garbage pop music

but, i’m choosing to respond to this predominantly because this isn’t the first time i’ve seen people lump charlie puth into the ‘basic popstar’ category when i don’t think they’re actually aware of his talent and musical intellect? and it’ll bug me if i don’t expand on it lol

I’m no charlie puth blog by any means, and tbh i wasn’t even aware he existed up until 7 months ago beyond that horrid song “we don’t talk anymore” that was played everywhere, but he’s a virtuoso, and i don’t believe that is publicly discussed enough? 

The dude has perfect pitch. Only 1 out of 10,000 are even born with it. Relative pitch is as close as one can get to it, but Absolute pitch is only obtained by genetics. Those who have perfect pitch can translate any sound into a musical note. They don’t need a reference tone or anything to process a sound and what it would crossover as in music. It’s fucking nuts. If you’ve never been around someone who has perfect pitch then you don’t understand how completely wild it is. It’s just this really rare auditory phenomenon that allows someone to recreate sounds like how an artist would paint a portrait. There have been several instances that showcase Charlie’s experience having it:

(”the bus engine is making a b flat” jesus man)

(Just casually composing songs in a notebook through musical notes like he’s writing the ABCs. Eleven (11) years old, and he is able to transfer the sounds in his head to paper with no training or guidance. Ridiculous)

Furthermore, he’s a classically trained musician. Like, he’s trained in jazz. He started studying it at age 10. From 13-18 he was accepted into and attended Manhattan’s music conservatory pre-college where he was able to focus his craft in jazz piano and minor in classical studies and composition. When he went on to college, he still eyed jazz’s foundation. I know I poke fun at his live shows for being Panera Bread Live on Tour because he has several jazz elements he implements into the performances, but that’s literally what he’s been trained in his whole life lol 

Not to mention he graduated from Berklee which is a feat all in itself. He got a degree in music engineering and production that requires heavy knowledge in the art to even obtain. But, he’s been doing similar shit since he was basically 10 when he was gifted his first studio set-up so lol

Career-wise, he’s co-written, composed, and produced several songs for big entertainers like Thomas Rhett, Trey Songz, Zara Larsson, Maroon 5, Jason Derulo, and Liam Payne which is incredibly impressive for his age and experience in the industry 

Regarding the production and creation process, the way he speaks about it is like hearing someone speak latin. It’s completely mad. You can tell how versed he is about the process with how casually he talks about it even though it sounds like absolute rocket science. He often describes it as “geeking-out” but it’s truly just preposterous. In connection, watching him put the process together is as if you’re watching sorcery. it is utterly fascinating. I’ve included some clips of him demonstrating/discussing the process because it is definitely a trip:

(This interview gives great insight into how Voicenotes came to be about halfway through. The way he talks about the process of creating ‘patient’ is astounding.)

(This video is now unlisted, so it isn’t searchable on youtube anymore but i remember the first time i watched this and how remarkable it was to me. I dunno just how quickly and easily Charlie makes a halfway decent bop with just his keyboard and Sudeikis’ vocals is ridiculous. 

So, I dunno I believe the reason I’m more vocal about my enjoyment of his music (BOY should win a grammy) is because of how endlessly intrigued i am by his talent and musical prowess. I think a big reason why people are so quick to dismiss his talent and presence is that they cast judgment on his past work and similarity in foundation his songs have (which is understandable because his debut LP is complete garbage in comparison to Voicenotes but it’s worth noting that he was not a pilot for most any production or sound that went into his debut which is obvious by the juxtaposition of sound on his sophomore effort which was produced almost solely by himself from his home studio) instead of analyzing why it’s such a clever move for him to choose to cater his music to the mainstream audience. 

Like forementioned, he’s classically trained. He is completely capable of composing music and creating intricate elements in songs that would be appreciated and heard by musical experts and professionals. But, he is purposely choosing to water-down his craft and creating music that relates to the masses because he knows it’ll get him the most exposure and commercial gain as an artist which is literally just him playing the game welcome to the entertainment industry lol. So, it is extremely crafty for him to choose the direction that mainstream music is heading to reach that recognition and type of sucess he’s aiming for instead of only producing work for a niche group ya know? 

Charlie Puth is a musical prodigy, and i don’t shy away from using that label. The way his mind works with and processes music is complete insanity. I’ve never seen anyone do what he does. So, yes, I understand where the stereotyping comes from with lumping him into the ‘basic popstar’ category of musician, but that received idea is absurd to me knowing not only the talent and skillset he posesses but the work ethic he has. He is a distinct artist in the industry right now, and i wish that was more publicized instead of the conventional image they brand him with. 

Regardless, garbage pop music in general  has its place and i’ll never be ashamed for liking it for what it is  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯