#that with some time and distance we could reconcile but that never happened because he was just like. gone.

[ovalt]

.

[thefusioncelestial]

Mix 18: Once brothers, now Him

Ah, brotherly love. 55% love, 45% violence. History is full of examples of those bound by blood spilling that same blood.

Here is Finn:

Just about to graduate from university. Great grades, top of his social circle, off to a potentially great career, & noted ladies man.

Then there is his twin, Leon:

The only thing he does better than Finn at is academics. His lack of connection building meant that at best, he could go the professor/teacher route.

These brothers were both content with their lot in life....until the test results came in.

Finn had an incurable disease that also induced infertility. Finn would live a long life, but could never start a family of his own. Leon was devastated as well, but he shot down the idea of using his seed to father Finn's kids.

"Come on bro, we're twins, genetically any kids you have will be mine as well. I am not asking you to sleep with my future wife, just put it in a cup & walk away," Finn said.

"No, it would be hard to treat my kids like I am their uncle when I am their father. Imagine something bad happens & my parental instincts try to kick in. Or, when my kid accomplishes something & I want to celebrate with them. It's going to lead to awkward situations," Leon said in curt & said tone.

"Then just move far away, just until they turn 18, then we can readdress this," Finn said.

"Family gatherings," Leon asked.

"Don't come," Finn said.

Leon was dumbfounded. He wanted his own brother to destroy his own familial relationships because his sack can't finish the job.

This has always been an issue between the two. Leon has always sacrificed his well being for his brother's sake & never got so much as a thanks.

Leon got in Finn's face.

"Out of the question," Leon screamed.

Before they could further react to the situation, both brothers began to feel dizzy & moved closer to each other. But Finn was able to get out of the trance and put some distance between himself & Leon.

"There has to be another solution. I know I am asking a lot from you," Finn said.

"Like you always do," Leon retorted.

Finn squinted his eyes in frustration but decided to think about his next words. He wondered why Leon was pushing back on this. He doesn't really have to leave the family. He can just be the overly involved uncle. There is more to this.

"We are going to therapy," Finn said in an authoritative tone.

"Don't act like the boss man now. You may have the muscles, but I am still older," Leon said.

"By fifteen seconds. You can walk yourself there, or I can carry you. My third arm might be useless, but these two guns are still functional," Finn said.

"You wouldn't dare," Leon said.

Finn smiled.

Finn did in fact carry Leon to the university's mental health clinic. Leon regrets starting Finn on the gym bro path back in high school.

There was an opening from a last minute cancellation & the brothers met Dr. Krushnik.

Finn moved to talk first, but Leon just suddenly let it out. About how he sacrificed nearly everything for Finn growing up & gave up his social life for him as well in university. About how their parents always favored Finn. Like he didn't exist. Like his existence was just to back Finn up.

Finn was shocked & hurt, but he thought back to all the times. Better toys, better clothes, allowed to do sports. He even overheard how Leon gave up his spot in a fraternity so that Finn could get in. The party invites redirected to him.

Finn reached his hand out to grasp Leon's.

"I am so sorry," Finn said in a sorry tone.

Leon was shocked mentally. First from spilling his guts & then from his brother's reaction. The hand grasping turned into a full blown hug.

The doctor sighed. The brothers reconciled without him saying a word.

It happened again. The brothers felt delirious. They could hear each other's thoughts. They pulled back quickly.

The doctor noticed this.

"Did you hear each other's voice in your heads," he asked.

They both nodded.

"I only dealt with a case like this once," he said.

"I am going to guess that you two are twins. You two are splitters," he said.

"We are what," Leon asked.

The doctor responded:

"Identical twins start off as one person, during the pregnancy, the original you splits into two separate zygotes & twins are born if you both survive."

"Not all twins are splitters. The distinction is that you two can still rejoin," he said.

Leon was confused.

"Wait, would merging fix our health issues," Finn asked loudly.

Leon was shocked at Finn's response. He knew exactly what Finn wanted to do.

"Such as," the doctor asked.

Finn blushed, in a hushed tone:

"I suffer from a disease that makes it impossible to have kids."

The doctor responded:

"There is some literature that speculates that splitters can suffer from ill effects if they don't pull everything they need."

The doctor eyes both of the brothers.

"You seemed to have stopped at the nether regions."

Finn closed his eyes & blushed again.

Leon facepalmed.

They were heading back to their dorm room when Finn punched Leon in the shoulder.

"What was that for," Leon asked.

"For splitting with me. We should have walked this earth as originally intended, as one," Finn said.

Leon blushed again. Was he that determined to bear fruit? The doctor did warn us that the original persona would take over. We would only exist as individuals in his subconsciousness. The idea of being stuck with Finn & debating about everything for as long as they existed 24/7 nearly gave him a headache.

They both walked into their shared dorm room.

"I know what you are thinking, that I only want to merge to be fertile. But it isn't restoring my fertility, the process will reform a new being. We are restoring him, whatever we were originally," Finn said.

"Oh you want to merge with me that much. I got you down bad," Leon retorted. He sticked out his tongue & panted like a puppy.

Finn threw a pillow at him in response.

"Look, I don't want to exist as half a person anymore. Please, join with me," Finn begged.

"You are never "half" a person. You are you and fully worth existing as is. If I am doing this, I don't want to merge with a wimp with self-confidence issues," Leon said.

Finn was shocked, his brother agreed. His shock turned to joy.

He didn't notice but Leon was right up close to him.

"Never say I never did anything for you, this better be worth it," Leon said.

Leon embraced his brother in a hug & soon after, so did Finn.

The delirium set in again. Come to find out, it was their minds opening up to each other to begin mixing.

There was a soft moan coming from the brothers. Their memories & mental traits were mixing into one.

As their minds became one, Leon began to sink into Finn like quicksand. The sounds coming from Leon stopped as his head sunk into Finn's chest. Within a few minutes, Leon was completely sunk into Finn's body.

Finn's closed his eyes & began to flex his fingers and toes. But this was no longer Finn. This was now their original self being reborn & his reaction to the process.

Stretching & pulling noises could be heard as his neck, shoulders, arms, legs, & feet expanded with new muscle. At the same time, the skeletal frame thickened and expanded. This original self grunted in response.

Pops could be heard as the chest grew bigger. The abdominals became flat at first, but as if one was popping saran-wrap, his abdominal muscles began to pop out one by one until he had an eight pack.

His butt expanded as well, but more gently. It was as if he had balloons for butt cheeks that were connected to a water hose, and someone turned the water on.

The sensation of being filled didn't stop there, it eventually extended to his private areas. At first he was fully extended to what Finn could achieve, but then his rod kept growing, and in waves, it grew thicker. His gonads came to life & grew four times their size. He cocked his head upwards in response.

Their minds finally became one. Finn let Leon completely in & so did Leon in return. They were reborn, no remade into their original persona.

His skull grew larger & a little more straighter. His eyes, mouth were Finn's but less sunken. His nose & eyebrows a combination of the two. His ears & chin was from Leon.

He kept Finn's hair style, but he gained Leon's volume. The flood of testosterone caused facial hair to erupt, giving him a beard, mustache, & side burns that connected.

He opened his eyes & his rebirth was complete. He found himself breathing heavily & a quick scan revealed he was drenched in sweat. He was naked too. Apparently Finn's clothing could not handle his much bigger frame and tore off.

Even though he was alone, he grabbed a white towel and wrapped it around his waist.

He quickly went to the bathroom to check out his form.

Here he was in flesh. He never thought he would ever exist as a whole the moment he split while in his mother's womb. But here he is. He knew that Finn & Leon could never return individually, and while he was grateful for both trying to live their lives, he had no desire to split again.

But who was he? He was never given an name as he was due to the nature of his birth, but wait he did have a name.

History had shifted. In merging back into one, the brothers merged their timelines too. He given the name of....Magnus.

He later took some fertility tests, and found no issues. Finn got his wish, sort of.

Thanks to the Leon part of him, there was no desire for kids until 28. If Finn was still here, he would be facepalming & Leon would be cackling. One last brotherly hit from brother to brother.

[silversurfersx]

pleaseeeeee give us a part 2 of filns of anger PLEASEEEEEEJSJDHNDE IM BEGGING

Christmas pressnt to us maybe?!? 🙏🙏🙏🙏😔😔😔😔

It’s the first of December, close enough, haha

Had the beginning of this actually in my notes since I posted the first part, but I hadn’t really finshed it, but I saw a few people now ask for a part two so here it goes.

I don’t really know how to feel about this, but anyway

Happy December, guys 🎄

Films of Anger | pt. 2

Part one

sebastian vettel x schumacher!reader

summary: basically brocedes 2.0 (with a happier ending), childhood friends turned rivals turned back into friends in a sappy way

warning: a bit of angst and fluff, swearing

It's been weeks, almost months, since you last spoke to Sebastian and it started to get to you. You weren't used to this kind of cold distance.

Distance as such was never much of a problem, seeing as both of you were busy in different places around the world. But this was not like those times.

You saw Sebastian almost all the time, he was always there like your own shadow, but just like it, he didn't speak a word to you. He didn't even dare to look at you (at least not when you were). He only ever did look when he knew you weren't.

There was a heavy feeling building up in his chest when he noticed you around and wanted to talk to you, hang out with you, just like you always did, but something stopped him.

You felt similar. You wanted your best friend back. The one who would always play video games with you after training. The one you would sneak out with to eat stuff you weren't supposed to. You wanted your other half back. The one that was so close yet so far out of reach. It pained you to look at him and there were times, especially after a bad race, when all you wanted to do was run to him for comfort. But you couldn't. Or at least you felt like you shouldn't.

Michael watched the whole situation from the outside. He saw the longing looks the both of you threw at each other. His own heart felt heavy at the thought of your friendship ending. Corinna and him witnessed the joy brought to your face whenever his name was called. Though now there wasn't anything like it, quite the opposite actually. And it was painful to witness for both him and his wife, knowing that the tight bond knitting the two of you together was broken over something like that. They wanted to do something to stop it from breaking any further, but both felt like only you could do that.

Your brother and sister alike noticed the lack of Sebastian around. Mick and you were playing a game of one on one, something you had done since he was very young. Both inspired by your fathers own love for football.

"Why don't you hang out with Seb anymore?" He asked shooting the ball towards your goal, but you blocked.

You didn't want to tell Mick what truly had happened between the two of you, because you weren't really sure either. Dribbling past him, you used the distraction as a way to hold off your answer. Needing a moment to think anyway.

Of course you had an accident, which you still didn't think was on you, but that wasn't new. The two of you had a few crashes over the years, sometimes caused by either one of you, but you always reconciled. But not this time. Something was different. Or maybe it was just you. Maybe the two of you had just drifted apart over the years, at minimum speed, that it only took one moment of anger from the both of you to cut the string that held you close.

"I don't really know Micky. We had a fight and need some time to calm down, I guess." You answered your brother, who knocked the ball away from you.

"Hey!" You shouted watching him kick the ball inside the net of your goal.

Mick grinned at the goal, before turning back to you. "But you are still friends, right?"

You didn't answer, not sure yourself. It still felt like you were friends, even if neither of you spoke. You reckoned that that would never change. But you didn't know how he felt, so you just answered for yourself. "Yes."

"Good. You too sappy without him." Mick nodded, taking the ball, you had just talked out of the net with your feet, away from you and once again dribbling it away from you, once again scoring. You laughed shaink your head at his cheekiness.

"There was a time when I used to beat you all the time."

"Yeah, when I was five." Mick chuckled, preparing to once again take control of the ball.

"Ey, be quiet." You gently pushed your brother. The blonde laughed while you tried not to be hurt being beat by a 12 year old.

The next race weekend approached quicker than you'd hoped and over was the small break you had at home. You and your father both packed your bags and got ready to race once again.

"Fernando!" You called out to the Spaniard, running down pit lane, nodding at him when he turned around.

The both of your wearing the familiar Ferrari red, marking you teammates.

"Good morning, y/n." He greeted you stopping for you to catch up and walk down the pit lane together.

"Morning, Nando. How was your time off, done anything fun?" You started the conversation, holding your hand up to cover your eyes from the bright sun.

You had to admit you missed what Fernando was saying, as you just passed the RedBull Garage and you unintentionally made eye contact with a very familiar RedBull driver. You held eye contact, neither of you ready to break it.

The usual distance you recently felt coming from him wasn't there. It was as if the short break betwene the races kind of reduced the anger, or whatever it was, from his mind.

You had turned your head away from him, back to Fernando, but you could have sworn you saw him frown sadly as you broke eye contact.

It wasn't a big change in behaviour, but it still felt weird in your mind, not used to him being so nice once again. Or at least civil. And to even acknowledge you properly.

You hoped that it wasn't just some kind of mind play, from him, but you knew that that wasn't his thing. At least it hadn't been with you.

It was during the qualifying session that you were in a somewhat fight with Sebastian. It wasn't much of a fight as you knew that this was just quali and not the race, yet.

So neither of you intentionally raced the other, but you did aim to beat his time. And it appeared he did too, as your time kept getting beaten by him.

Everytime your engineer told you your time, you requested to know Sebastian's as well, which he did give you, even if he was a bit unsure if he should. But as long as it encouraged you to drive faster, it wouldn't hurt. He thought.

Meanwhile you relived moments of your childhood. Back when your father and spent your evenings after school at the karting track. When no one else was present and it was only the two of you. His voice, soft but stern, was sounding in your head over the sound of the engine.

You remembered the moment you finished your lap, and took one of the corner as late as you dared to do. It took your breath away, but in the end you set your new personal lap record.

"That corner, yeah," Your father started. "If you take every corner, like you did that one, you'd beat them all."

You always followed his advice of course, but there was also always the possibly to do more. To go further. So you did.

And you went too far. Breaking too late, added with a strong wind in the wrong moment, suddely sent you into the wall.

Weirdly enough, the first thing you thought of when the car stopped was how horrible the media would react to yet another crash. The first one with Sebastian, was on you, according to them. The other times, after the initial crash, when you started to get a bit more aggressive with each other, was because of your hormones.

The times when you made just the tiniest mistake, was picked up by the media instantly. It was as if they were only waiting for you to slip up, to throw insults and doubts at you. To question whether you truly belonged in the world of formula one or if it was just there because of your family name.

Sebastian used to talk it all good. He mocked the media's stupidity to make you feel better. But of course, that didn't happen recently, which is why you felt even worse about all the comments being made, which only led to you doubting yourself more, with lead to you making even more mistakes. It was an endless circle.

Maybe adding onto your odd thoughts was your pounding head. Hopefully not a concussion. You tried to act tough, hiding your sick feelings, and aching body, quickly replying to your race engineer and pushing yourself out of the car.

You took a moment, after climbing out, to calm down. Sitting down on the body of the car, pretending liked you did that because you had to wait for the safety car and not because your body gave you a hard time.

'No weakness. Show no weakness.'

The voice in your head repeated. You kept your helmet on, even if you wished to just take it off to breathe better.

Marshall's surrounded you, made sure you were alright and then lead you towards the arriving safety car, while taking care of the crashed car.

___

"I don't know why I keep messing up so bad, Papa." You told him as you left the medical centre. The impact you had sustained was hard, 30G. But you tried to push through the aftermath. Michael came over to the medical centre right after qualifying and interviews (which you gladly didn't have to attend), to walk you back to the hospitality and then to the hotel. He wanted to make sure that you rest.

"Don't be too hard on yourself," Your father started. "that is what makes you mess up. You lose confidence and get scared."

Michael wasn't known for talking around the point when it came to racing. He felt that if there were words that can help you get better, they should be said, no matter how hurtful they may be. You knew that, it was always something you appreciated.

"I'm not scared." You replied honestly.

There may be some fear in your body when you drove, but that only fueled you to go further, to press for more. It wasn't the kind of fear that led you to be scared, but to go even harder than you thought would be possible. You loved the adrenaline, when you did something dangerous. It gave you an extra boost. "I think I just can't concentrate. I feel so... I don't know.

Michael watched you for a moment, halting in his words, as he let it sink in. Deep down he had his suspicions what might cause your loss in concentration.

"You need to talk to Sebastian." He announced. You bit your lip, but didn't say anything.

Michael was right, of course. He was most of the time. But you didn't know if you dared to speak to Sebastian, yet. You weren't scared of driving your car dangerously, but to talk to Sebastian. You were not that brave. Not yet at least.

Your father didn't really mention anything regarding Sebastian after that. He took you back to the hotel and insisted that you'd spent the rest of the day in bed, just as the medical team had ordered you to do. You didn't resist that order as you felt your body ache from every movement. You head was feeling liked it would explode. It was difficult for you to move your neck and raise your arms as the G-force hit you straight on.

After your father left, it wasn't difficult for you to fall asleep. And you stayed that way until you were awaken by a knock on your door in the late evening hours.

You didn't realise who stood in front of you for the first few moments, still too drunk on sleep.

"Sebastian?"

"Hey." He whispered, almost unsure if he should be there. "Uhm, your father gave me your hotel and uh room number, I just wanted to-"

You didn't know why you did what you did, but it just felt right to hug him right then and there. You felt Sebastian suck in a breath, before carefully hugging back, his grip so light in fear of putting a hand wrong and pushing you away from him.

Slowly you let go of him, frowning over your own actions. "Sorry, I don't know why I just did that."

Sebastian shook his head, smiling softly. "No, it's alright."

"I saw the crash today. It looked bad, I just wanted to make sure your were alright. I know we, uhm-" he looked for a word to describe your current relationship. "We haven't really talked in a bit, and I know that's kind of my fault, but I just felt so helpless, not being able to visit you after a crash like that because I felt like I'd lost every right to do so."

"You would never lose the right." You interrupted his rant, watching his hands nervously knit each other, while he watched them too scared to look at you. You remembered your fight with him and th way the words had stung. You were so angry with him whenever you remembered them, but now that he stood here, in front of you, looking like a sad puppy, you couldn't help but want to forget all of it.

"Well, after the shit that happened between us-" Sebastian argued.

"I know." You felt the same way, like you'd lost your right to care about anything regarding him. "I think we're just idiots."

Sebastian chuckled, nodding agreeing. "Yeah, we are. You more than me."

"Oh?" You replied teasingly, a tone which he didn’t quite pick up on. He looked up eyes wide, his mouth opening as apologies spilled out, in fear that he had pushed it too far once again.

"Hey, hey. It's alright, I was only joking. Probably not the best time to do that." You quickly replied to calm the poor guy down.

"No, you're fine." Sebastian stated. "I just… I want to fix what went wrong between us. I miss you. It was stupid to let such a thing do all of this. I was so wrong for doing this to you.“

You noticed how you still stood in the doorway, which probably wasn't the best place to have that type of discussion.

"Do you maybe want to come inside?" You stepped aside and held the door open for him.

"Oh." He whispered, also realising where exactly he was standing. "Yes, of course."

Sebastian stepped inside, and you closed the door. You turned back to look at him. He looked more than unsure of himself. Nervously fiddling with his fingers, wipping on his feet as he let his eyes move around the room, taking it all in.

“Listen, y/n. I know I messed up badly, I said things that were so incredibly shit. It was wrong for me to say all those things, to throw the same shit at you that the press does. I know that you didn’t get into f1 just because of your name, I should know that better than anyone else. I don’t know why I said that. I hate that I said those things and I regretted the words right after I said them.”

“Why didn’t you say anything then?” You asked, watching him patiently. Sebastian gulped before shaking his head. “I don’t know, I think I felt too ashamed and embarrassed.”

“That was really messed up, Seb.” You crossed your arms, frowning at him. Your chest felt heavy.

“I know. I know how you hate to be reduced to only your name, but I was just so angry at everything in that moment, that I let it out on you. It was so wrong and I am so incredibly sorry, y/n.”

You nodded, your own head filled with the moments he referred to.

Sebastian hesitated, his eye taking you in, analysing the way you feel. He knew you inside out, every little habit you had, he knew the meaning of. So he saw the hesitation inside you. How the voices in your head argued over whether to forgive or to fight him further.

"Please forgive me." He whispered, trying to aid the side of you wanting to forgive him.

Internally, that decision had been made some time ago. You knew Sebastian just as well as he knew you. You knew how he ticked and how he sometimes struggled with idioticy. Talking before really thinking, especially after being pumped on adrenaline.

He never truly means the words he spoke in anger. Sebastian was never the type to insult people, especially you. You could only think about the regret he had been carrying around these past weeks, almost overshadowing your own anger at him. Almost.

A part of you didn't want to forgive him just yet. It wanted prove that he really meant it, ignoring all the times he had already proven it. The times he cheered you up, speaking words of affirmation after the press made some ridiculous statement and spoke highly of you afterwards to everyone who'd listen, just to make them forget any bad word ever uttered.

And the more you thought about where or not to forgive him, you realised that you had already forgiven him. But you weren't able to fully admit that, yet.

"I'm really glad that you came." You answered instead, breaking the silence that started to build up.

"Yeah?" Sebastian asked, looking hopefully at you. His big blue eyes held a distant fear much like the one you felt when you thought it might be over. Which was now overshadowed by the light of hope for a rekindling.

"Yeah." You agreed honestly. "And I missed you too."

"Good." Sebastian smiled. "Then I don't feel sappy on my own."

"No."

"How are you, then?" Sebastian continued, looking you over. "I haven't heard much about the crash, only that it was like 30G. I've been worried."

You smiled at his words, the care in his voice brought a familiar warmth, one you had missed over the last few weeks. You went over to sit down on your bed, gesturing for Sebastian to join you. "I’m feeling better than earlier today, but still a bit weak. My head is pounding and I'm having a hard time with my neck and shoulders. But other than that I'm surprisingly fine."

"Are you cleared to drive tomorrow?" Sebastian asked while sitting down beside you.

"Yeah." Nodding you ran a hand through your hair. "They still want to do a check in the morning, but they said that I should be alright."

"So, you're gonna race?" He continued a bit worried, but he knew that even if he tried he wouldn’t be able to change your mind.

"What, scared I'll beat you?" You chuckled looking at his soft expression. Sebastian chuckled as well, shaking his head. "Always. No, but I was really worried. It looked a lot worse than how it ended up being. I though you might get seriously injured. And I know that that's part of the sport, but all I could think about was that I never apologised. That you might always believe that I couldn't stand you."

"Seb-" You halted in your words, before throwing your arms around your best friend. Pulling him towards you, his own arms pulling you closer. "I didn't think that you couldn't stand me, at least I hoped."

"But still. I wouldn't have known, that you didn't think that." He muttered against your shirt.

"You know now, and that is what counts." You reminded him, rubbing a hand up and down his back.

"Could we talk things through, get on common ground and get this over with. I really don't want something like this to happen again." Sebastian asked now with more confidence. " I don't want to lose you again over silly things."

"I don't want to lose you either over silly things, Sebby." You agreed using the nickname you hadn't used since you were kids. His groan of annoyance at fueled your laughter.

And for an moment then, it was like back when you were just kids, fueled by nothing but passion, friendship and capri-sun.

___

a/n: I feel like I should have added more drama, like a bit more beef between the two before they rekindled, but I didn’t have any ideas for more dialogue, lol.

[zoeykallus]

aloha zoey! i hope you're doing well :) i am wondering if you're still taking requests, could you write something a little angsty with a happy ending with crosshair. maybe the jedi!reader and him were in a relationship before he joined the empire and it completely broke after it was revealed his chip was never removed. and so now they're trying to reconcile now that he's back? thank you so much ❤️

Aloha Anon!

I cooked something up for you 😊

Crosshair x Jedi!Reader Oneshot - What Are You Afraid Of?

Warnings: Angst/Fluff

______________________

The moment you part ways is so surreal, so devastating. Crosshair has left the team, switched sides, and in your last encounter, you barely escaped with your life.

You look back once more from a safe distance, seeing him in the distance with the other troopers as they swarm out, looking for you. Your heart is heavy, heavier than you could have ever imagined.

It's hard to accept what has happened, hard to understand that Crosshair is no longer your Crosshair. The realization that he has succumbed to his programming hits you like a slap in the face. There is nothing you can do but turn your back on him, stay away from him, if only for your own safety.

The thought that you have lost him is crushing, the feeling overwhelming. But you have to move on, adapt, you can't just give up everything because of it.

With the Bad Batch, you've been around for a while now, and Crosshair's split from the team has hit you all hard. But you hold yourselves together, holding each other up in unsettled, dangerous times.

You've all made your peace with the situation, one way or another. You haven't heard from Crosshair in a long time, so it's all the more surprising when you receive a coded message from him.

"It's probably a trap," Echo says seriously.

Hunter sighs softly, crosses his arms in front of his chest and nods, "Probably."

You say quietly, "But he asked us for help. What if he really needs that help?"

Wrecker agreed with you, "We have little choice but to take the risk. We can't ignore Crosshair."

Tech frowns and says, "We could, but would surely regret it sooner or later"

You look from one to the other, sensing the mood in the room, feeling how torn your teammates are. Your own feelings are far too wild, erratic and intense for a Jedi, but you can't help yourself. You still miss him, your grumpy sniper.

No matter what the mood, you know you will answer this call for help.

It's a strange feeling as the Marauder lands, perhaps because Tech makes a soft landing for a change. Even his flying style seems thoughtful today.

Your heart is still racing, you can't really control your emotions, outwardly you can, but inside there is an excited, yet anxious restlessness.

Suddenly, you feel Hunter's hand on your shoulder and hear him say, "Take a deep breath. We don't know what to expect, we need to keep a clear head, just in case. I know how much it would mean to you if Crosshair were to come back, but you can't let that get to you, none of us can."

Of course, he had noticed your restlessness, his senses were actually not unlike that of a Jedi, perhaps even superior in some situations.

"I know," you say softly with a nod.

As the ramp opens, and you can already see the tall, slender figure of Crosshair approaching in the distance, you still can't help it, your pulse racing, tingling in your nerve endings. For a moment, a vibration seems to go through the ship, a few objects suddenly float up into the air.

The men look around, startled, then you hear Hunter's gently admonishing voice say your name. You pull yourself together, the floating objects fall down again, here and there you hear a soft clatter or rumble. The vibration in the ship's walls stops.

"Sorry," you say meekly.

The figure comes closer, and it's clear, the way he moves, the stature, the posture, and last but not least, the modified, unmistakable sniper rifle on his back. This is undeniably Crosshair.

You open your mind, looking for other people in the area, but all you sense is the unease, the caution, the uncertainty Crosshair feels. Then his gaze seems to fall on you, and you feel a strong pull, a longing coming from him that you didn't expect.

Hunter says softly, "I can't sense anything other than Crosshair so far."

Tech adds, "Scanners show nothing so far either, just a small shuttle, presumably the one Crosshair landed here with"

You nod and say, "I don't sense any presence other than his and ours so far either"

Finally, Crosshair stops at the end of the ramp and one by one of you, come out of the Marauder, you wait until the end. Your steps are slow, deliberate, and you watch for any reaction from him.

He slowly removes his helmet, you see the scar where the chip had been before, look at the unfamiliar short cropped gray hair.

"You look different," you say softly.

Crosshair blinks and says, "You haven't changed at all."

What you feel is so intense, so much so, that you let the men talk among themselves first, discuss and work through unresolved issues, waiting for your moment.

Hunter and the others go back into the Marauder, it's a done deal, for now Crosshair is to travel with you again. Crosshair and you remain standing outside, no one complains or asks questions, the men know you both have your own thing to work out.

"It's good to see you again," he says quietly.

"Likewise," you say, searching his gaze and your feelers for what's going on inside him.

He's unusually nervous, something you haven't seen from him before, at least not like this.

"What are you so afraid of?" you ask curiously in a calm voice.

He blinks, gritting his teeth, he still hates it when you look through him so easily. But after a sigh, he admits, "That maybe you can't forgive me".

You smile softly, perhaps a little mischievously.

"So you care what I think?"

He looks at you seriously and grumbles, "I always did, you should know that."

"I'm not angry at you, never have been. Sad and angry about the situation, yes, but not necessarily at you," you say honestly.

He takes a deep breath, takes another step towards you, stands so close to you that you almost touch each other.

You state in an almost whisper, "You're still attracted to me."

Crosshair nods, you know his heart is up to his neck, but he seems perfectly calm on the outside.

"Is it still mutual?" he asks quietly.

You nod.

"It is."

You flinch, almost startled, as his hand reaches for your chin quite unexpectedly, his lips descending on yours. He kisses you, intensely, and you feel the longing behind it, the relief, the affection, the intensity of his personality.

His free hand has clawed into the fabric of your tunic, as if he fears you might pull away. One hand on your chin, the other on the fabric of your clothes, he holds you tight. But what really holds you captive in the kiss is all the emotion he's radiating at this moment.

There is also something deeper, the will to be close to you, to have you all to himself, that winds around and through all the other sensations of his, like a bond that holds you both tight.

When his lips break away from yours, you are both quite breathless. Your knees are soft and almost buckle away, but he pulls you back up, his hand still on your tunic.

He smirks, "My kisses are still blowing your mind, it seems."

You grin cheekily and say, "Don't flatter yourself."

Crosshair laughs softly, "Still a little feisty, are we?"

"As you said, I haven't changed a bit"

With a relieved sigh, he pulls you closer to him with both hands and engages you in another kiss, this time much more tender.

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

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[tynearshot]

Sai and Sebastian’s Past Relationships Part 1

Hi all! I just wanted to Give Sebastian and Sai more flavor and take you into their past relationships. Here’s Seb’s.

TW: Abusive relationships, bullying, censored slurs, sex, drugs and alcohol, family tension.

Sebastian:

Age 15.

It’s hard being a queer kid already, but being a queer kid in the boonies feels like living ten years in the past. Seb and the Pelican town kids didn’t have a highschool in their town, so they commuted via bus pretty far out. By this time, Seb was sure he was bisexual but didn’t dare explore that. He was already bullied: Skinny, vaguely non-white, Antisocial, mixed family and had his hair long, leaving room for all kinds of “you look like a girl” and f slurs. So, he was often found hiding out under the bleachers, where he met his first “boyfriend”. In quotes because this boyfriend was very much not out and would often throw out “I’m not into guys, I’m just into you”. The rising Gridball varsity player (not Alex He’s a couple years younger than Seb in my HC) and the pariah. A cute pair, set up to fail.

This “boyfriend” also would often stroke Sebastian’s hair and comment that he’d ‘make a very pretty girl’ or ‘I wish you were a girl so we could be open’. Sebastian never cared that he was called feminine, but he hated hearing that from his boyfriend. He hated feeling “wrong” to someone he cared about, but at least it was something, he often reasoned.

They had… a pretty traumatic break up. Rumors went around that the two hung out (they did much more than that, including being each other’s first in a lot of ways). And the grid ball team confronted Sebastian accusing him of trying to corrupt their grid ball star with his “f***** germs”. And who was there to back the bullies up and keep silent but Seb’s boyfriend. Pushed down, roughed up verbally and physically, Seb confronted his boyfriend privately: “why didn’t you stick up for me, why would you let them do that, don’t you know you’re bi too?! I thought you loved me”… Seb wanted to say all this. But instead went “If you ever try to talk to me, call me or even look at me ever again, I’ll let everyone who the real fucking f***** is…”

One of Seb’s lowest points. One day while crying he felt his hair in his hand and remembered how his boyfriend stroked the left side of his head. Disgusted, he promptly gave himself an asymmetrical haircut. Luckily he had Sam around to cheer him up with some goofs and Abby around to clown him, but trim/clean up his new haircut. A rough first love, but a first love all the same.

Age 18

Sebastian was tired of the “what will you do now?” “Don’t you know you’re wasting your potential?” questions he was getting from his Mom and stepdad. In a fit of emotions, he packed a bag and rode to the edges of ZuZu city. The night he arrived, he was so full of feelings and just wanted to be numb. Drinking, clubs, drugs, parties, sex with strangers, all things he wasn’t ready for. He couldn’t be the good kid his parents wanted and he couldn’t be a “delinquent” either. So who was he? It all came down as he crumpled into a ball on some random stoop. The stoop happened to be that of his next partner, Grad student, Hae-Jin.

Hae-Jin invited Seb in, and let him stay to figure himself out. And with Seb at his most vulnerable, it was a quick and passionate week long courtship. Hae-Jin was good to him. They even convinced him to go back home and try and reconcile with his family (that’s a story for another time). They then were long distance for a year and he’d go and visit them as much as he could afford the gas to. But as time went on, the relationship soured. Seb began to feel like a secret again. And he kinda was. Hae-Jin was 24 and offhandedly would mention “My friends’ll call me a cradle robber.” Seb began to resent that. “They had a problem with my age but not with sleeping with me?”

At the same time, Hae-Jin would often pressure Seb to move in. It got worse when Har-Jin would accuse Seb of being “immature” and “indecisive” about them moving in together. Sebastian began to feel like he had less and less agency in this relationship. How was that any different than what was going on at home? He thought Hae-Jin cared for him, that they belonged with each other. But he felt more and more that Hae-Jin just wanted to “have him.” No better than a pet.

Hae-Jin gave him an ultimatum “Stay with me or go back to the middle of nowhere”. He chose to go back, in his mind, better the devil you know.

Age 23 and Up

Seb wasn’t really interested in dating after Hae-Jin. He focused on programming, his bike, and trying to stay sane as he rots away in his basement. Maybe every blue moon on one of his long bike rides, he’d make out with some stranger outside a gas station, bike shop just to… I don’t know, feel something. But that got tiring. He was tired. Tired of feeling like he had no say in anything he wanted. He had none at home, in past romances. At that point, he didn’t even know if he wanted anything.

Enter : Sai Peachtree

Thanks if you read this far!✨ I’ll be writing Sai’s soon!

[natalisdragon]

Have you noticed that the two post-credits scenes in Bucchigiri?! are similar? It may be obvious, but it is no coincidence, both are moments between friends, TWO FRIENDS, sharing a very personal moment together. Here we can appreciate some things regarding both friendships, they show trust, loyalty, sincerity and above all, equality. We could say that it's the type of relationship that Arajin and Matakara should share at this point if they hadn't separated, or in any case, if they had reconciled in a healthy way.

Arajin was so engrossed in how it made him feel to have abandoned his best friend and at the same time betrayed the foundations on which their friendship was based (the principles of a honki person) that he never asked himself how his friend felt about it. Deep down he worries about Matakara, to the point that just remembering what he did to him causes him physical discomfort. Wanting to push him away is not because he no longer cares, but rather an instinctive response of rejection of a trigger related to his trauma.

Matakara, for his part, has his own problems. The story has shown us that he always had a dependence on his brother as he was his only close relative, or at least the one he trusted the most. Then comes Arajin, the only person besides his brother that he allows himself to trust. During that time, Matakara puts Arajin on a pedestal, being (surely) his first true friend and first significant connection outside of his family, but eventually the incident we all know happens and Arajin abandons him. Matakara was most likely so heartbroken that he preferred to blame himself for what happened, reinforcing his feelings of inferiority, dependence on his brother and creating a (perhaps) subconscious fear of trusting other people again (something confirmed by Zabu's face during episode 10, surely realizing that he really didn't know his friend as much as he thought), while at the same time, Arajin's memory becomes more and more mythologized, which only gets worse in the fight between Arajin and Marito, which only confirms his own blindness, making the moment of confession much more painful for him.

Obviously neither of them was psychologically prepared for their reunion, because neither had the tools to open up about what happened, and when Arajin decides to do so, he doesn't do it with the intention of taking that necessary first step towards reconciliation, but rather as a way of distancing himself from the source of his trauma, at the worst moment and in the most hurtful way possible, totally blind to Matakara's suffering, who, seeing himself completely deprived of any support, begins his descent into the abyss.

Many talk about how Arajin must open up and allow himself to be vulnerable in order to save Matakara and reconcile, but that also applies to Matakara, who if we look at it, has strongly refused to do so. Although his friends in Minato Kai worry about him, his first reaction after his brother's incident is to isolate himself. He has always been someone strong, honest and reliable, he is that friend you trust in difficult times, not only because he is like that, but because it's what he feels is expected of him and what he demands of himsel. To be able to be like the Arajin he remembers, for his brother who believes he can become the honki person he wants to be, because he is the younger brother of the legendary former leader of Minato kai. All of this has created an enormous weight on him, which surely helped the shadows that stalked him to remain close to him, even when he seemed to be more stable.

This is where we return to the topic of the other two friendships., Marito and Outa for example. In Siguma, their positions as leader and second in command are clear, however, it's more than evident that between the two there is a relationship of equals, where we can appreciate a complete and unquestionable loyalty towards each other, having a fairly strong and solid bond. Kenichiro and Mitsukuni seem to have a similar relationship, the way in which the second one shares his future plans goes beyond a simple conversation between a leader and his successor, but between two people who understand and respect each other. Both are relationships where, although they do not say it explicitly, share great affection, which is what Arajin and Matakara should aspire to in the future. A friendship founded not on the childhood desire to become a honki person, but on the mutual appreciation and affection that they share.

[kindlingkeen]

Hi Keen. Lemme pick your brain a little bit, if you dont mind. Do you think Jason can ever be happy and at peace away from/without ever reconciling with Bruce? Or is Bruce necessary for Jason (or at least the Jason in your mind) to be truly happy (ala Choices)? ((Thanks, I love you and your writing!))

Hi anon, thanks for the lovely ask. I have many, many thoughts on this issue (shocker, I know). I thought about this extensively when I was writing the first two parts of Choices and I could happily chatter about it all day. Some general thoughts first, and then I’ll end with some specific thoughts for the Choices verse below a spoiler bar.

The simple answer is, yes. But I do think it gets exponentially harder after the whole batarang to the neck incident. I think there are three necessary components for Jason to really move on from Bruce and the Bats: closure, support, and purpose.

Closure, with respect to the whole Bruce / Joker business. This doesn’t mean he has to reconcile with Bruce. But there has to be some kind of conscious closure that isn’t just stewing in ‘I hate him and I going to pretend he doesn’t exist’ vibes. And given the emotional cluster of Bruce & Jason’s relationship, I think that would take a lot of support (see next point) and probably a fuck ton of therapy. Or some other kind of divine/magical/Dickinsonian intervention or some such nonsense. Otherwise, he’s just going to keep drifting back. Coming to terms with your father not avenging you the way you wanted and moving on from your death without making meaningful changes? That’s already hard. Finding closure from your Dad cutting your throat to save your murderer? Yikes. And, really, true closure would require Bruce to meet Jason at least part way, which at least in canon, ain’t never gonna happen.

Support as in the ride-or-die-I-will-burn-the-world-down-for-you kind of support mixed with the I-will-hold-you-accountable-for-all-your-shit-and-push-you-to-grow-as-a-person type of support. The kind of support he’ll probably never find with the Bats given all their baggage. It feels like this was what dc was aiming for with the Outlaws, but then kept deciding, ‘nope, we don’t actually want Jay to have nice things.’

And purpose, because Jason’s need to protect others is bone deep and he spirals without a deep commitment to that kind of outlet.

So, about Choices … I’m putting these thoughts below a spoiler bar for anyone who hasn’t read The People We Choose and Responsibility.

I don’t think Bruce actually is/was necessary for Jason to be truly happy in the Choices verse. With Talia, Jason found support and purpose. He didn’t have closure, but I think with time and distance, he probably would have gotten there on this own. If Talia hadn’t meddled, he would have stayed with her and the League long term and continued to grow and develop in a different direction.

Talia looked at the situation and, consciously or unconsciously (her mind is a twisty, twisty place), decided Jason’s lack of closure had too high of a risk of eventually pushing Jason back to Bruce and away from her. So she decided to meddle in a way where she could control the circumstances. Talia faces her problems head on and tries to force the outcome in her favor. Part of her honestly thought she was doing what was best for Jason (or at least convinced herself she was) but it was also manipulative and self-serving.

Those are just my opinions, though. Lots of different takes out there on this issue. :) Thanks for the ask, anon! I’m glad you’re enjoying my writing! 💙

[lovingdilfs]

Do you know who I am (smut)

Part 4: what now, what next, where to

Summary: after the discussion of living separate lives, it backfires when you get drunk and shows up at his house - or does it really backfires

Word count: 2816

Warnings: smut (I know y’all have been waiting) 18+, mature content, fingering, p in the v, virginity loss.

Oh lord have mercy, the begging eyes of him!

The passage of days and weeks seemed to drag on, and the name of Elvis Presley seemed to be everywhere, appearing more frequently than you had anticipated. No matter where you went, you encountered his name, and it seemed that everything you laid your eyes on had it emblazoned upon it. This overwhelming presence only made it harder for you to cope with the absence of the person who had been a constant in your life for so long.

Despite the constant reminders of your best friend's name. You struggled to come to terms with the loss of the person who had been such a significant part of your life. You found comfort in the memories of the times you spent together, but it was never enough to fill the void that had been left. You eventually learned to open up and tell your dad everything that had happened between you or sort of, he kept on asking about where Elvis was and Why you never seem to be with him anymore.

“Dad you gotta understand, we drifted apart and that’s what people do. He wanted something and I wanted something else. It’s part of life” it hurt you to tell him because you how much he liked Elvis. Each night, the urge to pick up the phone and call Elvis grew stronger. You wanted to tell him how proud you were of him and all that he had accomplished. You longed to put aside any differences and misunderstandings, and return to being friends like in the old days. The memories of your friendship and all the good times you had shared weighed heavily on your mind, and you couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps you could fix things between you.

But each time you reached for the phone, you hesitated, uncertain if it was the right thing to do. Part of you was afraid that reaching out could only make things worse, and that the distance between you was too great to be bridged. Yet another part of you held onto hope that maybe, just maybe, you could reconcile and relive the magic of your friendship once more. The desire to reconnect with Elvis lingered on, night after night, a constant reminder of the bond that you had once shared.

After a couple of drinks with your girlfriend Maria, down at the local bar. The alcohol had made you bold, and you finally mustered the courage to call Elvis. You dialed his number with unsteady hands, eagerly anticipating the sound of his voice. But to your disappointment, nobody picked up on the other end. You hung up, feeling disheartened. You had been so sure that reaching out to Elvis was the right thing to do, and now you were faced with the reality that perhaps it was too late. But no your heart wouldn’t let you stop there. The longing to see Elvis and hear his voice one final time had become unbearable. Despite the late hour and the fact that you had been drinking, you made the impulsive decision to go to his house. You stumbled down the familiar path, the alcohol still coursing through your veins, and finally arrived at his doorstep.

You hesitated for a moment, wondering if this was the right thing to do, but the desire to see Elvis was too strong to ignore. You knocked on the door, and after a moment, a bleary-eyed Elvis answered.

“Y/N what are you doing here,” he asked while looking confused and concerned. “I-I jus *hiccup just wanes to s-s-see you again” you managed to get out with a drunken voice. "Are you drunk?" Elvis asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. You couldn't help but smile, feeling a little embarrassed. "No...maybe," you replied, feeling a little unsteady on your feet. Elvis held on to your arm, steadying you as he helped you stand. "Come on, let me get you some water," he said, his tone gentle and caring.

He filled a glass with water and handed it to you. You took a few sips, feeling the cool liquid soothe your throat. Elvis sat down across from you, his expression filled with concern. "Are you okay?" he asked, and you could tell that he genuinely cared about your well-being. "Why are you here?" Elvis asked, his tone soft and curious. You took a deep breath, feeling a little overwhelmed. "I don't know," you replied truthfully, still trying to figure out why you had made the impulsive decision to come and see him. For a moment, the two of you sat in silence. You felt a sense of comfort just being near him, and you realized that you had been missing this connection in your life.

"I gotta puke," you said suddenly, breaking the silence. Elvis quickly got up from his seat and rushed you to the bathroom. You barely made it to the toilet before you started to retch.

Elvis stayed by your side, rubbing your back and holding back your hair. “Let me find ya a shirt,” he said while letting your hair down, Elvis disappeared into his room. He returned a few moments later with a clean t-shirt, “here you go honey” he said, handing you the shirt. “Thanks” As you looked up at him, you couldn't help but notice that he had grown even more handsome since the last time you saw him. His maturity showed in his features, making him even more attractive. You felt a warm rush of emotions as you gazed at him, a mix of fond memories and a longing for what could have been.

You tore your gaze away, feeling guilty for letting your thoughts wander. “Now you do that look again,” he said while chuckling.

“Huh- what do ya mean” you sounded confused, but you knew damn well what he was talking about.

“Nothing, go change, I’ll set up the couch for you,” he said while leaning against the doorframe.

"No Elvis, I have to go home," you protested. "Honey, you're too drunk to wander around now. I'll take you home first thing in the morning," he replied before walking out of the bathroom, you closed the door, but left a little gap. You were feeling a mix of emotions, but mostly relief that you were able to be close to Elvis again.

You slowly began to zip down your dress, while Elvis wandered around the house finding blankets. You let the straps fall off your shoulders, as Elvis went by the bathroom he was surprised to see you in the mirror slowly pulling your dress off. A familiar feeling was building up inside his lower stomach, the same feeling when you two kissed the night at the party. He cleared his throat, to stop himself to look any further at you. Elvis quickly looked away and continued his search for blankets. He found the blankets and went back to the living room, setting up the couch for you to sleep on.

After a few minutes, you emerged from the bathroom. “I tried to make it comfortable,” he said while looking up and down at you. “Thanks, Elvis” you sat down on the couch, the t-shirt bearable coving your underwear. Elvis couldn’t help but notice your red underwear. He cleared his throat again, trying not to let his mind wander off again “anytime honey…just say if you need anything”

And with that, he left you to rest, but his thoughts kept going back to the sight of you in the bathroom, slowly taking your dress off. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't shake the image from his mind. “Oh god, why are you doing this to me” he whispered to himself while settling in his bed. You woke up, with dryness taken over your throat, and a headache pounding against your temples. You looked around and saw that you were in Elvis' house, and you remembered the events of the night before. You wondered how he was feeling, and whether he was angry or still upset with you. You slowly got up and made your way to the kitchen, slowly pouring a glass of water. “Oh gosh Elvis you shocked me”, “I’m sorry I can’t sleep,” Elvis said, as he leaned against the kitchen counter. The two of you stood in silence for a few moments, both lost in thought. “Is the couch comfortable?” He asked breaking the silence “well a bed would be better, but it will do for now” you replied, taking a sip from the glass of water.

He gave you that famous boyish grin, “What?” You asked in a high-pitched voice. “Nothing, it's just weird seeing you again” he looked down at his feet, “yeah, I’m sorry I just showed up here last night” you added. “No it’s fine, it's good to see you again” He looked up and smiled warmly at you. “Touché” You smiled back at him, feeling the familiar comfort of his presence.

“Elvis… are you okay?” You sat down the glass "Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" He replied, looking at you with a worried expression. Of course, he wasn’t fine, he wanted to tell you it all, how he missed you, how he missed your smile, how he missed your smile, how he missed seeing you in the crowd, how he missed your support before getting on stage, all he wanted was to be with you. But he messed up and you had made up your mind. "Just curious," you said as you approached him, standing inches away. You took in his scent and felt his warm breath on your forehead. "What is it that you want to know?" he asked, looking down at you with a soft expression on his face. You could see a hint of sadness in his eyes, but it was also mixed with something else, something you couldn't quite put your finger on. “How do you really feel,” you asked softly, searching for an answer in his eyes. He took a deep breath before speaking. "I feel confused, sad, and guilty," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. You could sense the weight of his emotions, and you placed a hand on his chest. You could feel the beat of his heart beneath your hand, and you took comfort in its fast rhythm.

Your lips slowly moved inches away from his, feeling the warmth breathe on your lips. “Elvis,” you said in a low voice before his lips smashed against yours, You could feel the love and regret in his touch as your bodies were pressed against each other. The kiss lasted for a moment that felt like an eternity until you finally parted, and both of you left breathless. “We really shouldn’t do this,” he said while leaving small kisses at the corner of your mouth "I know," you said softly. Elvis’s hands slowly travel around your body feeling your curves. Your arms hugged him around the neck, to deepen the kiss, and he slightly moan against your lips. You could feel him grow underneath you, as you made some friction on his pelvis.

He pulled away from the kiss to look at you, with a mixture of longing and regret in his eyes. "This isn't right," he whispered, but you could feel his body still pressed against yours, wanting to continue what had started. You looked back at him, unsure of what to say or do. His eyes were searching for an answer in your eyes, but the lust had taken over. “Oh fuck it” he whispered, smashing his lips into yours again. He lifted you up by your legs, feeling the warmth growing in between your legs “oh baby, you're soaked for me” he left that boyish smirk on his lips, and you wiped it off by kissing him. He carried you over to the couch, gently placing you down, he looked down at you, his eyes filled with desire. “Baby relax, you’re too tense… I’m not going to hurt you” He leaned down and kissed you again, his hands slowly exploring your body, sending shivers down your spine. You gave into the moment, letting yourself be consumed by the passion and desire between the two of you. As the kiss deepened, you could feel your tension melting away "Elvis," you whispered as you interspersed kisses with your words. "Promise to go slow." He hummed against your lips, letting his hands slowly move up your thigh, You could feel get lost in the moment, letting small noises out in the room as he was inches away from your throbbing cunt.

His fingers gently tap against the fabric of your underwear. He began to kiss along your jaw, finding the right spot that made you buckle your hips up against it. “Easy now baby” he whispered in your ear, pinning your hips down by his pelvis, making you feel his growth underneath his underwear. His fingers carefully slid your underwear to the slide, tenderly sliding his fingers between your wet folds, wetting his fingers with your juices. “Oh baby imma make you feel real good” he softly mumbled on your neck.

His thumb gradually moved up your sensitive clit, slowly pushing pressure on it and circling it. You clung onto him, completely lost in the moment, only able to express your pleasure through moans and gasps. “Elvis I need you”, Feeling the muscles beneath his shirt, your fingers tracing over each ridge, as you deepen the kiss, letting out soft moans. Stopping at the hem of his underwear "Are you sure about this?" He asked, gaze fixed on you.

You nodded at his words “baby you gotta use ya words” You took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "Yes," you said firmly. "I want this." He smiled and leaned in for another kiss, he removed his underwear, stroking it a few times, before lining it up with your entrance, He spoke softly to you, "Okay baby, just take a deep breath and relax. It may cause some discomfort at first." You nodded, placing your hands on his chest. He slowly thrusted his hips against you, making you hiss at the feeling.

Gradually sliding inside you, letting you adjust to him. The feeling of the tightness of your walls around him was making him moan out your name. As you adjusted around him, he began to increase his pace. With each thrust, you felt the sensations intensify, unable to hold back your moans. Your fingers gripped onto his skin, each sound of pleasure escaping your lips only driving him further. “Oh keep those pretty sounds coming baby” he whispered in your ear, kissing your neck as he continued to move inside of you, “oh gosh you’re so tight” he panted out under his breath. He continued to push into you, his movements becoming more frantic as he got closer to the edge. You could feel the tension building up inside of you, a deep heat spreading throughout your body. "Elvis, I'm so close," you moaned, your voice hoarse from the intensity of the moment. In response, he increased his pace. “Come on then” as the words he panted out, it was sending you over the edge. The explosion of pleasure that hit you was like nothing you had ever experienced before. Your walls caving around him, sending him over the edge, while your walls were milking the last of his cum out of his twitching cunt inside you.

His body collapsing above your body, both of you taking a moment to catch your breath, your bodies entwined as one. The room was filled with the sounds of heavy breathing and soft moans as you lay there “you were right, a bed would be better” he chuckled out. Your fingers ran through his hair, feeling his chest pumping out and down at a fast pace against your chest.

Elvis gently brushed a strand of hair away from your face and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. "You all right?" he whispered, "I feel amazing " You laughed softly, snuggling closer to him, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. “Let me get ya clean up,” he said while he rose from you, handing out his hands to help you up. You felt a sense of loss as he moved away from you, but also a sense of comfort knowing that he was taking care of you. He led you to the bathroom, where he started the shower, and helped you in, gently washing away the sweat and evidence of what had just happened between the two of you. The warm water relaxed your muscles, and you leaned into him, taking comfort in his strong arms as he held you close. "I have something to admit," you said, breaking the silence. "So do I."

[simply-ellas-stuff]

I know there is a ship war happening, but this is genuine question.

How is Elain ever supposed to forgive Lucien for his part in her transformation?

Yes, she settled into her fae world now, by the time we get to acosf, but... she never really talked to him. She hasn't learned him, she hasn't seemed to have wanted to.

She went through a fuuuuuck ton of trauma because of the transformation

and while I don't... know if Lucien knew Ianthe and Tamlin told the Hybern King about Elain and Nesta or if he was left in the dust, but it's clear that Elain holds something of blame against Lucien. Given her distance with him and the way she initially reacted. And I don't fault her for it honestly.

Like, I want Lucien to get a happy ending, I really really do - But I don't know how that would come with Elain? like, Elain is so far away from him at this point in the story I don't know how they could reconcile to the point of being together and being mates??

And yes on the flip side, we have none of her pov chapters or books so theres no telling if she genuinely does blame him, but I'm getting the feeling that she does hold... something against him. and I'm trying to figure out how she could forgive him for whatever it is she holds against him?

As much as I want Lucien happy, at this point I genuinely don't think that happiness will come with Elain but I would LOVE some other opinions

[beevean]

People when Guts has a mental breakdown after a lifetime of trauma which leads him to almost rape the woman he loves but stops himself before the deed is fully done and is so disgusted with himself that he starts distancing himself from her and accepting other people in his life to look after her while also accepting that he may never again have the right to even speak to her after what he'd almost done yet will still fight tooth and nail to protect her even if he'll never truly be able to atone: Fucking disgusting mysoginistic bullcrap! Shame on the author for being such a sexualizing creep!

People (not the same people but still) when Lenore tricks Hector into having sex with her on order to slip an enslavement ring on him so as to magically bound him to her and then spends her time making jokes about him being her pet, about his dick and about wanting a new bedroom and who then kills herself upon realising that she may in the future be subjected to the same fate as him while only giving a shallow "yeah sorry about that": OMG! So romantic! This show truly has some incredibly deep and complex writing! Good thing this wasn't written by a sex pest or something!

Is it sexism against men, or good ol' xenophobia that leads many people to be much harsher to Japanese manga and anime than Western products? You decide :)

I wouldn't even compare Guts to Lenore. Guts assaulted Casca after weeks of physical, mental and emotional exhaustion that made him vulnerable to the temptation of the Beast of Darkness. I am not excusing him or downplaying Casca's trauma in any way... but the story didn't, either. Casca, understandably so, was terrified of Guts, and stayed terrified of him for months. Many years in real life. And, as you said, Guts regretted his actions as soon as he realized what he was doing, and that slip was what made him accept the help of Farnese and Serpico: he accepted that he could not take care of Casca by himself. He was a danger to her.

Lenore can't be compared to Guts. It was not an act of irrational aggression. She wanted him in the most vulnerable position possible, to coax him into falsely pledge loyalty to her and that stupid ring. It was premeditated and... well, I'd say cruel, but even in the most Lenore apologist position I can get myself into, she literally treated Hector as an animal to be "rescued". Well meaning? At best. But still inherently dehumanizing. Which alright, she's a vampire, it makes sense that she'd see a human as an animal. And alright, I can see a plotline where she learns to see Hector as a person. But... it never happened. We went from "I made you into my pet" to a brat making dick jokes and pouting that she feels useless after a time skip.

And anyway my issue isn't even with her, it's with Hector and how he shows zero resentment after his understandable breakdown in the S3 finale. I honestly can't read his character, assuming he has one by this point.

I know that people are tired of my bitching about Lenector, but I'm sorry, no matter how hard I try to understand the appeal, the dynamic, the relationship, the "poetry" of their fates, you cannot reconcile Lenore's action in S3 with Lenore's actions in S4 without resorting to some severe rape apologism or straight up denial (because some seem to believe that if you consent at first, then it's automatically okay). The Lenore presented in S4 is a tragic villain coming to terms with her role in the council, the lack of respect from the others, the fear that she might become a monster, and the fact that she started to bond with someone she previously only saw as a "problem to solve"... but in order to accept this at face value, we have to ignore that she resorted to rape and deception to bring her victim to his lowest point. We are meant to pity the rapist. We are meant to see Hector "forgiving" her (assuming he did) as him growing up. There is no other way around it.

[mastomysowner]

Okay, maybe I’ll get roasted for this, but I still have to tell the truth: I can’t stand Dr. Hiriluk. First of all, because he believes that the “do not harm” principle does not apply to him, but let’s start from the beginning.

Robbery and arson are strange signs that a good guy has come into your house, but mmkay, maybe he’s like Robin Hood - stealing from the rich to heal the poor, like that. There’s also the apocryphal Hippocratic oath, where there is a phrase "may the gods curse the one who heals for free".

Wait, what’s an all-purpose drug? Is it like an all-purpose cleaner?

Take this pill of rabbit's dung,  

It's been really well done!  

It's much healthier than honey  

Though it doesn't taste so fine.  

And although it isn't sweet,  

And some people die from it,  

Those who manage to survive  

Live a long and healthy life!

Come again? He was testing his drug on people without even knowing how to administer it? Did he know the dosage? He didn't even know what kind of disease the patient had. If he wanted to help him, he could have just left the syringe with the family.

Maybe the drug should've been administered via an enema? For some reason he didn't want to try it on himself, I wonder why.

Annnnnnd... It was the last time we saw this family or heard about it. Hiriluk wasn’t shown to subsequently wonder what happened to them or try to make amends, so the father's ultimate fate remains unknown. Looks like the anime makers also thought it was kinda wrong.

But, as far as I remember, they didn’t change this scene.

What Kureha said doesn’t mean “about a hundred people”, it’s 何百人, hundreds of people. I honestly don’t know what else to say.

But when he meets Chopper later in this chapter, Hiriluk will do a really noble and brave deed, I mean it sincerely.

Whyyy did he feel the need to ruin everything after such an inspiring scene?

Why is he like that with his friend? What did Chopper do wrong to him?

He doesn't even deny that Chopper could've died. I always crack up at how they reconciled after fight, but Hiriluk never apologized, this is a special kind of funny XD

But still, after this incident, Chopper was truly happy during the year he was Hiriluk’s accomplice apprentice.

I can hardly say what's going on in this frame, but Chopper seems to have returned the sentiment. In fairness, the guards here are still far from them, and Chopper could’ve turned into his giant form and throw Hiriluk far, far away, just like he did to him. A good joke is funny on any day...

But still they could only be together for one year.

It’s a heartbreaking scene, I don't feel like blaming Hiriluk, because it caused him a great deal of pain... But wouldn't it be more sparing to prevent Chopper from becoming too attached and keep him at a distance from the start than to painfully tear him off later on?

It amazes me how Kureha is worried about how Chopper will feel, but doesn't understand that if his only friend in the world suddenly hates him and drives him away like everyone else has done before (and breaks his promise to never ever shoot at him, btw), it will cause him much more serious trauma. 

The same thing happened later in One Piece Film: Red when Shanks took the blame for destroying the island in order to save Uta from guilt and left her. Did he really think that it would be easier for her to survive that her closest person in the whole world massacred the population of an entire island, and then betrayed and abandoned her?

Anyway...

Because of all of this, this motivational speech makes me think “Wow, this guy really has a nerve, I even envy that confidence”. In Chopper’s case, people were saving their lives (at least, so they thought). In Hiriluk’s case, it was basically the same.

Interestingly, people didn’t resent him...

...They'd think twice before saying this if they knew what Hiriluk would do to them if they stood in his way (just stood, in the literal sense of the word).

[rhaenys-queenofkhyrulzz]

song that reminds me of mctna

This song gives different vibes throughout so i'm gonna try my best to explain. It's called "Without You" by Ursine Vulpine & Annaca- Extended Version. Personally, this slowed version just makes everything seem more cinematic and powerful. On to the explanation (fair warning, I got a bit carried away).

In the first verse and pre-chorus, it seems as if Seon-ho is the one speaking to Hwi in the first 4 episodes.

If it's gonna get violent tonight Tell me you gonna be alright, you gonna be It's an eye for an eye and I don't know if I want you to fight Want you to fight I'm losing my mind Don't leave me behind We need a bit more time

The first line is Seon-ho's thoughts prior to the military exam while the 2nd is when he's lying helpless on the floor and trying to reach Hwi as he's getting beaten up for calling out the examiner. The rest of the verse takes me to the burning shack confrontation. Seon-ho trying to stop Hwi from fighting further and villanising himself so that Hwi abandons him. That's all he can do. There wasn't enough time to make things better.

The chorus changes the feels a bit though.

'Cause I don't want the world to turn without you And I don't want the sun to burn without you Yeah, I don't want the world to turn without you And I don't want the sun to burn without you

The first line, Seon-ho is still thinking about Hwi but in the second (in my mind at least), he's talking to bang-won (the 'sun' is Hwi obviously). This gives way to some messy ot3 feels where there's a lot of self loathing on Seon-ho's part for wanting both of them but feeling deserving of neither.

The 2nd verse switches pov.

You don't have to be the brave one every time I know you wanna make it right, you wanna make It's a lie for a lie and I'm getting tired on the other side On the other side

I feel like either hwi (canon) or bang-won (in an est. relationship scenario) could say the first 2 lines to Seon-ho. Hwi says the 3rd and 4th lines though. This would take place during the 4 year period in canon when the Nams were using Hwi. Seon-ho keeps on lying to and hiding things from Hwi and Hwi has had enough. For Seon-ho's lies, he now returns with his own: deceiving the Nams and teaming up with bang-won.

Pre-chorus but Hwi's thoughts:

I'm losing my mind Don't leave me behind We need a bit more time Can you hear my cry, an old lullaby drifting through the sky?

The distance between them is driving Hwi insane. What happened to that kind-hearted noble person Seon-ho used to be? Now he's too far away for Hwi to even reach, gone in all the ways that matter. Can Seon-ho even hear Hwi calling out to him? The familiarity they once shared is nothing more than a memory now; an old childhood lullaby, a bedtime story of fantasy that can only be whispered at night. It is a frail thing that, under the harsh light of reality, it will shrivel and burn.

When I tell you this bridge brOKE ME.

So won't you hold me now? Hold me like I've never did anything to hurt you Don't let go Give me another minute to play here in your echo

Major time skip in explanation but bear with me. This can have multiple povs.

The first is seonhwi in the last episode. Imagine them sitting together in the Northern Punitive Force Village trying to reconcile and agreeing to smile more only to flash to Seon-ho in Hwi's arms on the palace grounds. Hwi is holding him and looking down at him with that same devotion and loyalty Seon-ho spent half his life craving again. In that moment, nothing else matters. Hwi is crying because 'don't leave me Seon-ho-ya, not when I've only just gotten you back again'. As Hwi's eyes lock with Hui-jae's, he knows that leaving- moving on- isn't an option for him anymore. He will remain close to Seon-ho in death the way he couldn't in life. Hwi smiles, taking his last minute to hold Seon-ho's limp body- the last echo of him on this earth. He remembers the way Seon-ho's eyes used to crinkle back when they'd run together in the forest, back when he'd stay over with Hwi and Yeon and they'd talk about everything and nothing, drunk on laughter and naivety. He looks now at the peacefully closed eyelids and closes his own.

The second pov is banghwi in the last 2 episodes. By killing Hwi's father, Bang-won doomed their relationship before it even began. And when Bang-won asks Hwi 'why aren't you asking me the reason why?' only to learn that Hwi has decided to disregard his actions all for Seon-ho's sake, he knows it to his core. Hwi will never be Bang-won's. But still, selfishly, he yearns. (<- first 2 lines) In the 3rd lines, Hwi pulls away from Bang-won for Seon-ho's sake and Bang-won can't stop it. In the last line, Bang-won is on the throne. "You did well." With the echo of Hwi's words ringing in his ears, he allows himself this last moment to mourn for Hwi, for losing him by his own hand.

I don't wanna live a life without you I will watch the world burn without you

The 2nd to last line can refer to any of the 3. Seon-ho pov- his life is worth nothing to himself anymore. If he can sacrifice it for Hwi's sake in the hopes that Hwi will live, he will do so in a heartbeat. Hwi pov- Seon-ho is gone and he can't go one without him anymore. Bang-won pov- never has he been one to put his wants before his ideals. He will carry on but will mourn Hwi in his heart, taking his memory with him to his grave.

The last line seems like a good choice in fic if either Hwi or Seon-ho survive and want revenge.

-----------------------------------

Well, that was my explanation. Hope it wasn't too much of me just going off on a tangent. I know it went into fic territory a couple times but hey, it was just more fun to explain like that.

[stranger-rants]

In honor of mother's day, I have complicated feelings about Billy's mother, but mostly because of how little details we get on what actually happened. Like, yeah, she definitely left him and that was wrong, but we don't know if that was it or if there was issues with the divorce since while it's still messy now, back then, for women? It most certainly did not always turn out pretty, especially when you had kids in the mix. Compared to Neil who looks like a respectable man with an at least somewhat stable kind of job, Billy's mom would have been a single mother who might not have a place yet that looks suitable to a judge (not to mention the theory she wasn't exactly loyal wouldn't be doing her any favors).

When my parents divorced, I still to this day have no idea what exactly went down because both of them agreed they didn't want to get me involved in fighting against the other, but my dad essentially made it so that my mom legally could not see me without his presence or at least his permission. As in, he literally could have gotten her arrested by trying to have me over or visit me without running it by him first. And most of the time, he said no.

Like, we don't know fully what happened, and custody battles are tricky, especially with an abuser. Did Billy's mom just leave, send the divorce papers and never contacted Billy again, did she try to fight for him but lost custody rights, did she get partial or visitation at least, but Neil purposely kept her from Billy until he moved his family since keeping contact long distance was even harder back then than it is now? It's why in some cases I've got sympathy for her and in some cases, have negative feelings towards her, we don't know the whole story

There's a lot we don't know. My dad left shortly before my 16th birthday, though he still had contact with me. I don't know what made him make that decision other than he was a serial cheater and a manipulative bastard. It's hard for me to empathize with parents who leave for this reason, but I do try to understand what could have motivated her to leave Billy behind with the more volatile parent. At least in my case, my dad was and still is the more volatile parent.

I don't think there's any simple answer when it comes to Billy's mom. I wish we knew more. I wish there was just something else to add another layer to the story, but I know Dacre fought hard for what we got so I'm appreciative of that at least. It must've been hard for Billy on Mother's Day to reconcile his love for his mom with the fact that she left. Then, you have Neil bringing in a replacement mother figure. It's too much. I don't blame him for being upset about that. I almost was him.

[bisluthq]

I’ve tried to make sense of what went down with harry and tayruss and this is what I concluded but i’m very open to being wrong since we don’t really know anything because they’ve been so private:

I think they had a fight after they got back from japan but bc taylor had work commitments with the met gala and then later with meetings and now filming it was kind of easy for her to shut down and they had a hard time communicating because they were in different time zones and not in the same location. harry was probs not sure if he should fly out to see her because she was busy and they were still in a fight so she might not have welcomed him being there if she wanted to process it on her own. especially since they probably already agreed outside any fight that he wouldn’t be going to the met because he didn’t want to overshadow her moment, flying to try and resolve the issue wouldn’t have made that better. he probably mentioned they were going through some issues in private to some of his people and that got back to gossipers like deuxmoi, and since they got a hold of the story it blew up the argument/break to a level they didn’t want since they maybe could have worked through it privately and the tabloids would never have even known this whole thing happened. I think that’s probs why his team planted that people article around the time of the met gala, I assume they probably wanted to keep that serious image of the two of them out there while they worked through whatever the issue was and so questions weren’t raised publicly. neither side wanted to confirm anything officially because they wanted to work it out on their own terms (so that’s why there hasn’t been a clear or official denial) but the added pressure has obviously made things difficult and the distance doesn’t help. plus whatever betrayal has gone on with the loose lipped people around them. given the way harry’s handled his last few relationships (camille/olivia specifically) after the break I think they’re probably still in contact rn but they’re maybe waiting until they’re in the same place again and she’s not working so they can properly talk. but I could be reading the situation completely wrong and this is the complete end of them but idk, it seems more up in the air than his previous breakups imo but we’ll see

mmm I think they’re broken up but sure mayhaps they’ll reconcile. If they were just on a break, I still think they’d have issued a denial. I do think they’re over. Maybe they’re still talking and open to reconciliation but I really don’t think either is holding out that much hope and I think they’re both single and mingling again tbh.

[nomenomens]

Nomen

Chapter XXIII - Separate Lives

TW: none for now, but please check the 'About Nomen' section for more informations

WC: around 2700 words

Previous Chapter : Cardigan

Next Chapter : I Can't Make You Love Me

Masterlist

****************************************

Prologue

He brushed my hair with his fingers while my head rested upon his naked chest and all I could feel was happiness. I was barely covered by my dark green cotton nightgown, whose shoulder strap rested lazily on my arm that was placed around his waist. As I hugged him, I traced invisible patterns on his side, feeling his cold skin under my fingertips. I couldn’t stop from asking myself how did we menage to get here like this, how could I let this happen. I wasn’t regretting it, but I was certain I would blame myself for it at some point, even if all I was feeling in that moment was pure bliss. My eyes were closed as I tried assimilate all of him: his scent, the beating of his heart against my ear, his surprisingly soft touch. I had to face the consequences of my reckless acts and end it all, before it would be too late. I reluctantly opened my eyes and looked up at his marvelous features. He really was sculpted by the angels. I scanned through his expression and he tenderly smiled at me before talking, never stopping to run his fingers through my hair. 

“What are you doing?”

“Searching for a hint of regret in your expression, so I can let this go.”

“Well? Have you found it?”

****************************************

Some months before, May 1, Sunday, 21:57 (present time) 

Captain Ackerman left as soon as I finished the presentation, but the expression on his face didn’t seem to be affected that much by my revelation. Sure, we hadn’t talked much, but a part of me was still hoping for a reaction from him. Rationally there were no reasons why he should have one, but it was already clear how I stopped working as a proper functional human being when he was involved. I was still looking at his back when Albert decided to interrupt the awkward silence between us. 

“So I guess he is the reason why you let me come closer now.”

“What do you mean?”

“You like someone else and so you’re not bothered with my presence anymore. Too bad we should already be married.”

“I told you already, I should be the one to propose and I won’t, even if our marriage was planned by our families, I won’t marry you.”

“I told you, it was a mistake.”

“No it wasn’t. Why can’t you admit it? You love her, so go be with her! I don’t want to meddle with both of you and I won’t follow that file anymore.”

“I don’t love her, not anymore.”

“I don’t believe you. You’re just trying to do the right thing according to the files by reconciling with me, but there’s no need to. You’re free, Albert. Go live your life. Please.”

I didn’t realize how close he got to me until his hands tried to grab my shoulders, but I intercepted his intentions and blocked his movements with my words. 

“Don’t touch me.”

“Sorry.”

He took a step back and then I noticed Finnian approaching from the other side of the road. As soon as he got to a closer distance I spoke again, knowing both of them would be able to hear me. 

“Finnian will now escort you to your old room in the villa. You will find your old things there, untouched. You can stay, but I have a lot of guests and I would prefer if you’d stop to try to convince me to change my mind and just go back home.” 

“At least concede me one coffee.”

I was visibly troubled by his request, mostly because I knew he would’ve tried again to convince me to marry him, but he insisted. 

“Just one coffee. Then I’ll stop. But even if you won’t change your mind, I think we deserve a proper goodbye and not a rushed meeting in the parking lot with Finnian listening to us. Also, if you decided to not straightly refuse my attempts to talk with you, you should listen to what I have to say.”

In a few seconds, all of our good memories passed through my mind. He made me suffer, but before I could realize it, it didn’t matter anymore. Maybe I had never really loved him, I was just trying to convince myself that I could love again after losing Tomoe. At the very least, Albert proved himself to be a good friend when I gave him the chance to do so before our break up. Maybe one coffee wouldn’t hurt. And he was right, if I told Finnian to not block his every attempt to talk anymore, I had to listen to him at least once. 

“One coffee it is. I’ll let you know when and where.”

We awkwardly smiled at each other briefly before going our separate ways. On my way back, while thinking about Albert, for the first time I didn’t ask myself what could’ve been between us if I just played along with the files and asked him to marry me anyway. I made the right choice that night, and now I was actually convinced about it. As I walked away, lyrics of an old song of one of my father’s favourite singers start to play in the back of my head. 

“You have no right to ask me how I feel, you have no right to speak to me so kind. We can't go on just holding on to time now that we're living separate lives.    Well I held on to let you go, and if you lost your love for me, well you never let it show. There was no way to compromise, so now we're living (living) separate lives.”

****************************************

Halloween, about six years ago 

“You know, Albert, I was so sure I couldn’t love again after Tomoe, but then you…you…”

All I could hear was the heavy rain clinking on the window shield and my own sobs. I pushed the palm of my hands into my eyes, trying to erase the image of what I had just saw, a memory that my mind was projecting on his own anyway, surpassing my will. 

“Get out of the car.”

“Vic, listen to me pl-“

“Shut up.”

“I told you, there’s nothing between me and Ada anymore, I was-“

“Doing what? Fuck her goodbye? Inside my brother’s villa? In your room? Where we also…”

“It was a mistake.”

“No, Albert. The mistake was mine. I believed you when you said I deserved another love. I believed you when you said there was no one else. I believed you when you said you love…loved me. I am just your betrothed and you…she…”

“Vic, please, listen to me. I do love you now. It took this to realize how much-“

“I won’t listen to another word.”

I gripped the stirring wheel with both hands, tight enough to let my knuckles almost burst from my skin. My sight was still clouded by the heavy tears, still falling without being able to stop. I looked over at him with all the hate I could accumulate within me before spitting my final words. 

“One day I’ll stop resenting you, but even on that day I won’t even consider marrying you. You love her, it’s cl-clear. You never looked at me that way and it’s o-o-okay, I am part of your life only because of a file and our parents’ meddling years ago. I will do what you don’t have the courage to do: I’ll set you free.”

“Victoria…”

“Shut up. Now you will get out of my car, of this city, of my life. Go back to Coburgh or Berlin, I don’t care. I can’t break off the engagement because I don’t want to put anyone I know in danger, but believe me, I’ll never ever marry you and make us both miserable. I hoped I could’ve married my friend and allow myself to fall for you harder than how I was already doing. That was fucking stupid and naive. But it doesn’t matter anymore.”

I lowered my head and he took the occasion for getting close and try to touch me, but then I snapped at him, screaming at him to go away and let me alone. My memories of those moments all blurred with time, but what I couldn’t forget was his expression. He was regretting something, but I wasn’t sure of what. What was his mistake? Conceding Ada some kind of goodbye or coming after me and leaving her alone? Maybe he also didn’t know the answer to that. He silently left the car and stood outside, never letting his eyes wander away from me, as I cried myself to exhaustion, leaning my head onto the stirring wheel. I wanted to drive home, but even those few metres seemed impossible to face. The next thing I knew, Cesare was unfastening my seatbelt, helping me to get out of the car and go home while asking Sebastian to take care of Albert, that was still standing outside the car without saying a word. After I got out of the car, Albert tried to call my name, but the murderous glare Cesare pointed at him was enough to let him stop from doing anything else. I turned away Cesare’s face from Albert and made him look at me. 

“Take me home, Cesare. Let him go.”

With a nod towards Sebastian, as a signal to continue with his duties, Cesare brought me home as I requested, always careful to not let my mom see him, since she was awake and waiting for me to come home from Irene’s Halloween party. After attending that party, I wanted to surprise Albert and stay with him for a while, but what I saw the moment I opened his room’s door wasn’t the image of him reading on his armchair I pictured in my head, as I had always found him during those months we spent together. Instead of a book, he was holding her, and the look on his face was clear enough to make me realize that the silver band I was carrying in my pocket shouldn’t belong to someone who’s heart was already occupied. I wasn’t planning to specifically propose that night, but still I was carrying the ring around. It was a cheap ring, something I had bought for fun, to laugh at together when I would propose to him in a corny way. We had joked a lot about how I was going to do that one day, and I wanted to ironically play by the book and ask him on my knees. It started with a joke, but the more time had passed, the more serious my feelings became. My indifference towards him had grown into a young, free, delicate little love, thanks to his kindness and the respect he had treated me with. To think that all the words he had whispered to me after every moment we had spent together were a lie made me shiver. Cesare noticed that and hugged me in the darkness of my room. 

“You should sleep now. You won’t see him again, I’ll never let him come close to you.”

“I feel so stupid. Whenever we were…he comforted me and…”

“Shhh. It’s all right now.”

“I…I trusted him. I let him…We…”

“What?”

I couldn’t find the words to confess, but my face was explicit enough for Cesare to understand on his own the nature of our relationship. Albert and I started as friends, as he helped me overcome my pain after Tomoe, then one night he kissed me and what happened later involved our bodies more than our minds, until one day he confessed his feelings. I believed him because he seemed sincere at the time, but maybe I was just deluding myself, searching for something that wasn’t there to begin with. Cesare was now fuming. He had never liked Albert, but he also never explained me why, nor did I ask, not even that night. Later Sebastian told me Cesare had known Albert for years, even if just as acquaintances, but never revealed the details. As I cried myself to sleep, Cesare covered the crown of my head in soft kisses, never letting me off his embrace, laying next to me for the following nights, until I felt better. The sentence he used to repeat as a mantra was “Don’t worry, darling, I’ll be here with you and I’ll always love you”. Even if it was an extract of a song he dedicated to me hundred of times, those words were my anchor for that night and the following ones. 

If I had known those would’ve been our last nights together, I would’ve repeated them to him at any possible chance. A few weeks later, that damned winter came and took my brother away from me, and only the record player would repeat those words to me again. 

****************************************

May 5, Thursday, 11:17 (present time)  

“Thank you, Vic.”

“We don’t have much time, I have lesson to attend.”

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. I wasn’t honest because I was scared. But when I was with her-“

“Albert.”

“Will you ever let me finish?”

“No, I didn’t want to listen to your reasons then, and I don’t want to now. You were right, I don’t care about it anymore because I have moved on, as I suppose you also did.”

“Actually-“

“The situation is still the same, I won’t broke off the engagement because I don’t know what would happen to the people in my life, but you don’t have any obligation towards me.”

“Please listen to me, Vic. I know that what I feel for you is real and not dictated by an irrational fear of the prospect of not respecting the files as you assumed.”

“Albert, please, stop this.”

“No, now you will listen to me. I’m not telling you this to make you forgive me, after six years I know better than to hope you’ll reconsider your feelings, especially if there’s someone else now. But this is not the place to tell you what I have to say. Will you follow me outside?”

His look was determined and caught me by surprise. We were sitting in a busy cafè near my university and I had especially chose this place to avoid meeting him in private. I scratched the back of my head while thinking about what to do when he got up to block my nervous gesture and crouched down. I didn't even notice him rising from his chair, but now his face was slightly below mine and closer than I would’ve wanted. His cologne couldn’t properly cover the smell of smoke, that was as unpleasant as familiar. I guessed he never stopped that nasty habit of his and a part of me was even glad and reassured by that fact.

“I didn’t want to convince you like that, but it seems like I have no choice. What I have to say it has something to do with your brother.”

I grabbed his hand and dragged him outside the cafè. Luckily I had already paid and there was a quiet park around the corner. I never let go of his hand and I heard my heart thump hard against my chest, knowing that the prospect of knowing something related to Cesare was far more important than my pride. I stopped when we arrived at the park, after scanning the area to make sure no one was around. Only when I tried to let go of him I realized how our hands were now intertwined. He squeezed my fingers, preventing us from parting. 

“Albert, let go.”

“Sorry.”

“Speak.”

“Your brother never spoke to you about his time in China, did he?”

My body froze. A thousand questions ran through my mind, but he spoke again without letting me answer.

“From what I can see the answer is that you know something. Well, we met there. I knew him as Wei Ying. And we didn’t get along even there.”

Before he could continue, my mind already made the connection with what I had read, and I was afraid to be right with my assumption. There was no way that could be possible. I could’ve easily ignored one file and postpone our wedding indefinitely, waiting for the day when I would die and no one would be affected, but with two files…what would happen if I continued to ignore him?

“No…”

“And I knew your other brother as a consequence. His name-"

“Jiang Cheng. You know Jiang Cheng?”

“Not well.”

“Where is he?”

“I have no idea, I left a long time ago. My half brother is taking care of things in my clan for me now.”

“No. No. No.”

“You already know my Chinese name then, my other identity?”

“It can’t be.”

“Why not? We should marry anyway. This is just another confirmation.”

My mind was spiraling with details from the Yiling files, trying to find another explanation. In a glimpse of lucidity though, I realized that the most important thing to focus on was to discover as much as possible about Jiang Cheng and Mo Xuanyu. I looked back at Albert and answered, deciding to worry about the consequence of refusing him again another day. Again, Cesare was more important. 

“Nothing will change. They can throw a hundred files at me hinting that we should be together and have a family, and still I won’t marry you and make us both miserable. Not as Albert and Victoria, nor as Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli. Even so, I need you to tell me about what you know about my brothers. Now.”

****************************************

Author's note: Welcome back! I know, it's been a while, but this time I posted on Ao3 before writing here and I've just finished publishing the second course there. Currently I'm writing the Third and final Course. I think I'll update faster on Ao3 where I'll also publish some bonus chapters later this or next month. The song this chapter is based upon is an old goldie by Phil Collins. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy the chapter and see you soon!

[mystybelle]

I recant my statement about Pyre, you make fair points, no real disagreements. Though I kinda bristle at the understanding that I'm saying being more of a storybook makes Bastion weaker as a text, or that Transistor isn't essentially in the same boat as Hades.

Bastion may be linear enough that it could be converted to a book, or a movie without issue, but that doesn't make it a bad story or even a "bad" game. It just fails to make full use of the benefits of it's medium.

The original Jak & Daxter, Jak 2, & Jak 3 are excellent games by extension, but they are also essentially playable books/movies. Likewise something like Shadow of the Colossus fits too.

All of these lose something by not being interactive, even if they could make good texts as a less interactive type of art.

That said, in Transistor specifically every other character- even the dead characters we collect and weaponize throughout the game- has more agency than Red by comparison. Red makes no real choices throughout the entirety of that game, she's as much pushed around by the player as she is the plot itself, and is entirely voiceless. Every other character in the narrative either shapes the world in drastic ways, or our perception of it as the player, and they do this until they meet their ends. Where by that point they are little more than tools for the player to use to navigate the road locks in Red's way. But the only real choice Red makes is to attempt saving her partner's life, and (spoiler) at the end, and I think that's at least as pathetic narratively & in character as the parental reconciliation by the end of Hades.

In fact, the situation is almost purely an inverse from Hades in that sense.

Yes in Hades the majority of characters are flat, and lack significant amounts of agency in the sense that they can't do much on screen without disrupting the game itself (the Furies stand out as an example). But just as Transistor's cast shapes their world up until their deaths, Hades' cast can't shape their world because they are all dead.

It even keeps in time with conventions of Greek myth in that the dead aren't really allowed to do much. Nobody really ever comes back from Hades, metaphorically or otherwise, and certainly can't make meaningful choices any more. Some of Hades' narrative has the cast push against it off camera a bit, but by the virtue of the game's structure and it's setting, never too far. Not far enough to do anything that really matters, i.e. nothing that really affects the world or the player.

That's not a weakness of the writing, that's just the nature of the story being told.

I don't like narratives where the abusive parent gets to reconcile with the child they've estranged much either, but that's because they've been heavily over done and weaponized against black sheep in order to shame them into accepting abuse from their biological families that they would otherwise have distanced themselves from. They're not inherently weaker narratives though, and even in the real world, sometimes those situations do resolve positively. It's rare, but wild things do happen outside this void. People are theoretically capable of change, Y'know?

Hades by that metric is also more of a "game" holistically than Transistor, much like Pyre; whereas Transistor is a story with a fun game inside it, (similar to Bastion, but Transistor's story and game have a more significant schism between them than Bastion). Now that I think about it, I think that fact itself even strengthens their narratives in particular.

Hades is fundamentally a tale about a young boy struggling for agency in a world that is figuratively, and literally hard coded to make everything he does literally meaningless. So it is more like a game, something you can endlessly pick up and play for fun, where nothing changes. No different from futbol, league, tag, or gridiron.

Transistor, a story where a young woman with agency has it stripped away, then is pushed along a track of misery and suffering, without even the ability to really scream, until she literally can't take anymore; is functionally an amusement park ride with interactive moments.

Fuck that's kinda horrifically beautiful in a way 🤔 (sorry, it gets quiet in the endless void and I'm getting excited)

hades' writing was such a huge fucking downgrade from pyre