#that went off the rails

[underacalicosky]

I suddenly am overcome with a need to know your opinion on if any of the disaster trio would ever wear overalls.

Obi-Wan: no, not even if you paid him to. Ahsoka: definitely, on a regular basis, usually with one buckle left undone. Anakin: maybe?? But probably only the shorts kind??

Help me out here.

I just spit out my drink.

I’m in complete agreement that Obi-Wan is a hard no, like would not be caught dead in overalls. Would rather walk nude in public if there was some fanfic concocted emergency where no other clothes are available to avoid ever having overalls touch his person. Ahsoka, yes, she’d find ways to make them (cause she’s got more than one pair) cute and stylish and cool.

Anakin. He has a complete disdain for overalls, but will wear them in the sluttiest way possible to seduce Obi-Wan. He’ll wear them without a shirt underneath, leaving one side undone so that Obi-Wan is constantly forced to see his bare shoulders and chest, the waistband of his underwear, but most importantly, his nipples. He suggestively asks Obi-Wan if he’s hungry for a snack, but Obi-Wan is at least seven years behind in his understanding of slang and thinks that Anakin literally is carrying snacks in the pockets of the overalls. Anakin turns them into shorts by cutting them because the more skin visible, the better, right? Obi-Wan remains stoic, though he blushes furiously and quickly averts his eyes whenever Anakin is wearing them. One day he asks Anakin what snacks he has in his pockets. Anakin rolls his eyes, backs Obi-Wan against the wall, unhooks the remaining side and is like, “I’m the snack, you moron.”

[shitty-check-please-aus]

What we need to do is convince all the disney adults in america that high speed rail would be a preferable way of getting to disneyworld compared to driving or flying. We could maybe harness their fondness for the monorail or something, but this is a group of people that has time, income, and passion that we could leverage. If we could direct 5% of the enthusiasm they have for limited edition popcorn buckets into calling their representatives and demanding high-speed interstate rail, we could get it by 2030

[fascinationstreetmp3]

(laughing) I'm sorry!

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE | 2.05

[lifetrimmed]

💀⚡ TWST Rarepair Summer — week 1 — prompt: barbeque

Sebek dragging Idia's ass to do outdoor activities and eat healthier foods is my favorite flavor~

[dottyistired]

i'm not seeing any posts about it here yet, but they solved the silas birchtree riddle on reddit and there's some pretty juicy lore! first, entering "paranoid" backwards nets this conspiracy board:

then, from the black letters in the corners of some of the pages people pieced together the code "connect the dots", backwards again, gets a whopping 12 page chapter about the ciphertology cult! it's...something.

so in summary, bill puppeted a guy's corpse, became a cult leader, seemingly married over a hundred people, mass-possessed his followers, tried to get them to build his portal. his lone dissenter was a spinster who made anti-bill chick tracts and started a fire. a waco-style shootout ensued, killing silas' already-rotting corpse a second time in a disturbingly detailed manner. at some point he made some of his followers drink the kool-aid too.

entering the lady's name, emmaline butternubbins, into the computer finally gets you the reward for solving all the riddles: hd wallpapers of various graphics from the book of bill. but frankly this is more interesting and fucked up to me.

(alt text under cut, wip)

[Image 1: A cluttered conspiracy board centered on Bill Cipher. Red string and pins connect various newspaper clippings, photos, drawings and pamphlets.]

[Image 2: A history-book style chapter page. Header "LESSER KNOWN AMERICAN CULTS."

"Have you ever heard of Orchard Lake, Kansas? Chances are you haven't. It was erased from every map, book, and historical record, and the US Government's official position on it is "stop calling us or we'll send a drone to your house." (I learned this the hard way.) But if you drive to the exact latitude and longitude of you'll see bullet casings, faded billboards, and bow ties strewn across the desert sands.

That's because Orchard Lake had another name before it was wiped off the record: BillVille.

CHAPTER 3: BillVille

The First Cult In History That Was Right

FIG A: A tumbillweced

As a historian of esoteric religions, I thought I'd discovered the strangest sects America had yct to offer (see "Chapter 3: Kevin's Gate") but that all changed when I found the following items tucked away in an old trunk in an estate sale on the out- skirts of Bootstrap, Missouri."]

[luffysscraps]

Straw hats kinks;🔞

cw: Headcanons.NSFW.Smut.18+.Fem reader. Luffy’s a bit gross. (BUT IF YOU DONT LIKE HIM LIKE THAT THEN YOU’RE NOT A TRUE LUFFY FAN‼️‼️) Sanji cums on food.

Characters: Luffy. Zoro. Sanji.

Not proofread.

-Luffy

• Hair pulling (Giving and receiving); he didn’t know how much fun it was to pull you down on his cock by your hair. Watching you try to get away from him and forcing you to look at him by your hair made his dick twitch. He also loved when you grasp his head when he’s going down on you. The feeling of your fingers gripping his hair harshly made him hard instantly.

•Excessive cum; Again he discovered this by complete accident. Even without using his devil fruit powers his balls are abnormally large and filled to the brim with cum. Doesn’t matter how long ago he was sucked dry they’ll refill within an hour. And with Luffy’s stamina he doesn’t even notice when he’s shooting blanks. But watching you fill up with his cum turned him on even more which resulted in him going longer creating an endless cycle of cumming inside of you. He likes to pull out slowly and watch the juices drip down his cock and onto the bed sheets; making a mess of your pussy.

•Spit; He’s so messy. His kisses are so sloppy. And he knows this, he often apologizes for his messiness but doesn’t do anything to improve it. So when he accidentally drooled over on top you he didn’t expect his cock to twitch so wildly. So (with your permission of course) he begins to spit on you more often. In your mouth; on your boobs; ass; pussy; face. Anywhere you’ll allow him to he does so. Hell he’ll even ask you to spit on him some times.

•Belly bludge; He loves placing his hand on your womb and, every time he thrusts feeling your skin stretch to accommodate his size. “Hmm~ I can feel myself inside of you~!” He’ll groan out with a laugh on the end of it. He makes it a game, placing his hand on your stomach as he’s trying to feel his tip with every thrust.

•Marking/Biting; He loves, loves, loves to leave marks on your body. By the end of your session you’re left with red and purple hickies and bites all over your body. He can’t seem to take his mouth off of your body, there’s something so addicting about having your soft skin in between his lips. A simple neck kiss often turns into a sex session because he’s so turned on by just sucking on your skin. (Although he does forget his own strength and ends up biting too hard sometimes.)

•Body crushing; “You can take it! Can’t you?” He giggles while he smothers you against the mattress. He loves the feeling of his weight on top of you. At first he used it as a way to restrain you and stop you from squirming but he soon began to enjoy the control he got from it. You can barely breath from underneath him, and your squirms were no more. There was something unexplainably sexy about you two being so close to each other that turned him on. He didn’t know what it was but now he loves to smother you against the bed sheets

•Bonus; He doesn’t mean to be so rough with you, it’s just that he doesn’t know his own strength and when he’s going at it, his mind runs blank more often then not. He’s not in control of his body and stretches his dick to reach your womb, trying to go beyond but it seems impossible. So he’s made it his goal to break through your womb! And he tells anyone who asks what his dreams are or goals. “My goal is find the one piece, become pirate king and break through Y/N’s womb!” He shouts in the middle of a heated battle. Sometimes you wonder why you love this idiot.

-Zoro

•Throat fucking; Zoro often has you laid out on his bed in front of him. He spreads out your arms grasping both of them tightly. He positions himself at the entrance of your mouth and goes to town. He loves to grip your throat and feel the outline of his cock as he thrusts in and out of your mouth like his own personal toy. So warm; so wet; and don’t get him started on that tongue of yours. It’s something about your throat that Zoro loves (slightly) more then your pussy.

•Dacryphilia; When your eyes start to water and tears prick the corners of your eyes Zoro let’s out nothing but a moan. There was no concern for you. He loves watching the tears streak down your cheeks as you whine and cry about how his cock is too big and too much for you to handle. “What is it too big? Come on now Y/N~ I know you can handle it~” The power and control he feels from seeing your pathetic tears make his dick run wild.

•Breastfeeding; The man loves boobs, and he loves sucking on them too, this kink was a no brainer. He doesn’t know why but playing with your nipples and sucking on them gets his rocks off. He’ll get hard In seconds from just playing with them. Sometimes he’ll fall asleep with a nipple in his mouth.

•Cockwarming; Just like how he’ll fall asleep with your nipple on his mouth, he’ll fall asleep with his cock still inside of you. It feels at home just being inside your warm cunt. He loved spooning you and just shoving his cock into you without warning and falling asleep in seconds. It’s just so relaxing, feeling you squeeze him tightly in his sleep. He’ll stay like this with you for hours, but don’t be surprised when he wakes up and starts going to pound town without warning.

•Boxers; something about seeing you in his boxers makes him hard in a heart beat. Man sees you wearing his boxers and he is sprung. You look so sexy wearing his underwear, he can devour you in seconds if you come to bed wearing his boxers. The boxers being way too big for your figure; the way he can see the outline of your cunt. It drives him crazy. A simple nap together can turn into getting freaky in the sheets because of you wearing his boxers.

•Orgasm control; “listen to me. You can’t cum now. Don’t disobey me baby girl~” Again it’s the power going all to his cock. When he feels you squirm and your walls twitch he shakes his head “Ah, ah, ah. You’ve gotta hold it until I cum first alright?” His voice is so demanding and feeling your uncontrollable twitching go against his words causes him to smack your ass. “Bad girl~” he warned with a smirk.

•Breeding; The thought of knocking you up is just so enticing to him. Stuffing you full of his cum and watching you quake and shake makes his body feel so hot. And watching your baby bump and tits grow larger just turns him on so much. He’ll place his hands on your stomach and breasts every day, feeling them swell as the days go by, god it just makes him hard instantly. He’ll pump you full of cum every single night, he can’t help it he loves using your hole for hours on end.

•Bonus; not really a turn on, turn on. But Zoro finds it hot when his s/o is smarter then him. Say something smart, figure something out or lead him back to the crew and he’ll just stare at you with a devious smirk. He’s totally silent but that smirk on his face is all telling.

-Sanji

•praise (giving and receiving); “you’re doing so well for me princess~ just a little more.” “What a good girl you are for me~” “fuck~ so tight. So good for me~ hmm~” with Sanji being Sanji, even if he can’t speak full sentences he’ll praise you to the ends of hell. But if you praise him back, call his cock big, tell him how good he’s fucking you, tell him he’s amazing and sweet to you; he’s hard again in minutes and you’ve earned yourself another round.

•Brat taming; My goodness, please, please, please act naughty and disobey him. It turns him on soooo much. If you tell him ‘no’, try to get away from him, or tell him something mean he’s quick to remind you who’s in control here. He’ll pin you to the bed like “uh uh uh~ Be a good girl for me, okay princess?” With a playful wag of his finger he’ll lightly scold you and act like what you did was childish before rightfully punishing you. Shoving his cock in your pussy before fucking you painfully slowly, and with your body pinned you can’t move at all. You’ll end up whining and begging for him to speed up, and only when you say please is when he’ll comply.

•Spanking; It goes hand and hand with brat taming. Be too naughty in one night and he’ll bend your bare ass over his knee. “Now you’ve earned yourself 20 spanks. I want you to count with each one or else I’ll have to start over.” He warns before he smacks your rear. He’s gentle with you, not too harsh but not too soft of course. He just wants you to learn a lesson. And when he sees the plush of your skin turning a soft red and purple it drives him wild. After the spanking is over he’ll kneed the bruised skin with a sly smile. Sinking his fingers into it to hear you whine and cry more.

•Bondage; He likes the restraining aspect of bondage. He likes to tie you up and restrict your movements. He’ll tie your hands around your back with just about anything he could get his hands on. A rope, a ribbon, his own tie. Loves to watch you squirm and cry, begging to be unrestrained but you’re at his mercy. It makes him feel like he’s in control, only he can let you go and only he can make you feel like this.

•Oral (Giving); Sanji LOVES to eat you out for hours on end. He’ll tie your hands behind your back and place his hands firmly on your thighs so you can’t move. He’ll leave a trail of kisses along your stomach before his head dips down to your wet cunt and his tongue does it’s job. He’ll have you ringing out orgasms on end. Not stopping from your whines and protests of overstimulation. He’ll go until your clit is sore and your pussy aches. He loves eating you out, your juices are simply delicious. He loves feeling your thighs squeeze his head, he swears he can cum just from your noises and the action of his tongue sliding in and out of your slick.

•Food play; Sanji often treats himself with a snack late at night and that’s you. He’s brought whipped cream and hot fudge to the bedroom and you’re his plate to decorate. He’ll tie you down to the bed and spread whipped cream on your sensitive nipples, a trail of hot fudge runs down to your pussy and cherries on top to garnish the dish. He makes you a work of art before devouring your body. As he eats you up like no tomorrow you can feel his hard on pressed against your inner thigh. You’re just the best dish he’s ever had, how can he not get hard?

•Bonus; “I’ve made you a special dish tonight my love.” Sanji beckons as he enters the bedroom holding a plate. You know exactly what that meant and hummed softly laying down on the bed. “It’s a chocolate eclair, made with Love~” He sung happily taking a piece of it up with his fork and putting it to your lips. You could see the runny, milky-clear, liquid of his sperm sitting on top of it and you gladly ate it and you could see the exact second his cock gets hard in his pants.

[0bir]

bio garf

[kwistowee]

so so pretty...

[inklore]

LIKE HE'S SO FUCKING PATHETIC

[bunnyreaper]

oh can we pleaseeee talk about forced breeding with johnny 🙏🏻🙏🏻

im imagining such a manipulative best friend soap here, who can talk his way into anything.

like you two are super close, you share everything, which is why he feels comfortable complaining about the fact that he hasn't gotten laid in forever. and at first it's just a one off comment, but then he keeps fucking whining about it, to the point where you offer to help him get off just to get him to shut up!! but you tell him straight up, no sex.

so he comes to your room late at night, in a tight shirt and grey sweatpants that he's definitely wearing too low on his hips, bcs he's clearly trying to tempt you. you let him in and decide to offer him a blowjob, which he eagerly accepts cooing about how you're the best friend a guy could ask for.

he pulls down the sweatpants as he sits on his bed, and you kneel before him surprised by the size of his cock that's already hard for you. he lets you ease in at first, as you stroke him slowly before going in with little licks and gentle sucks, but after a while his hips start to buck, his hand comes to the back of your head to hold you in place as his pace increases.

he pulls you off of him with a pleasured hiss, diving in to kiss you senseless (not something you discussed but any protests are silenced by his mouth as his tongue slips inside. then he begs and whines some more. "lemme fuck yer thighs, yeah? please lass?"

the puppy dog eyes and the desperation in your friends voice does you in, as you pull off your own sweatpants and lay on the bed for johnny to start thrusting into your thighs. his grin is ridiculously satisfied as his precum smears all over your thighs, sticky and viscous and making him moan. honestly, you get a little lost in the blissed out look on his face--the fact he's feeling that just from pushing inbetween your thighs. and you're only human, even if johnny is just a friend, the sensation of him rubbing against you is filling you with need.

johnny must be able to sense it, as he angles his hips to push his cock past your panties and through you folds, making you moan involuntarily. "jus' wanted to see if you wet wet, nothin' more, promise." he whines as he starts to rut into your soaking folds, his hips moving wildly.

and then he's stopping, peeling off your panties and putting himself back between your thighs. "just the tip, yeah?" he pants. "johnny, no." you huff, but it's getting harder to resist as his cock head nudges against your clit over and over again. "please, just the tip, 's nothin'" as if sensing your impending defeat, he slides in anyway just the tip as he shallowly fucks you open for just a few strokes...

before he plunges in, hard and deep as he repositions you, throwing your legs over your shoulders as he presses you to the mattress and presses his forehead to yours. "feels too good, bonnie, and you were fuckin' swallowin' me, your pretty little pussy wanted me so bad. couldn't resist." he groans wildly as he fucks you recklessly, forcing moan after moan out of you as his cock strokes your insides fucking perfectly. you find it hard to recall why you ever said no in the first place, until johnny's rhythm goes, and his groans grow deeper and deeper.

"johnny, you gotta pull out, i haven't taken my pill--" you try to plead with him, to reason with him through the feral look on his face, but nothing seems to work, even as you weakly push at his chest. you try to use your legs, but as you reposition to get better leverage he starts hitting deeper, fucking away your resistance with every thrust, and you find your legs clinging to him just for some support.

"aww fuck am gonna cum bonnie, gonna fill you full, gonna--" he comes with a shout, cock slamming into your cervix as he floods you with pump after pump of cum. "ha, knew yer wanted it, could feel you milk me, squeezin' out every last drop."

he collapses on top of you, not letting you squirm away from where his length plugs your hole with all his hot cum inside. "feel so much better lass, thanks for letting me breed that little cunt o' yours. yer too good to me."

[quaranmine]

people on reddit are already getting pissed with the idea that maybe adiecraft was just "leading us on" the whole time or clickbaiting or whatever. and honestly i feel like that's a weak response. get a thicker skin, redditors. me? i respect the grind. adie never once said he was joining, he just made a previous season reference and had a hermit quote retweet him which stirred up an entire fanbase that was on a hair-trigger ready for speculation. then he proceeded to roll with it and neither confirm nor deny and get a bunch of extra eyes on his content, specifically the eyes of people who are already primed to like him.

like i don't feel particularly baited man idk it seems like a you problem, i'm fully aware I Did This To Myself LOL

[perplexi]

[hypersexualshanks]

i agree with everyone who says shanks' pull out game is weak but i think there are various ways he goes about it. whenever he's feeling particularly bratty (and usually particularly drunk) he gets whiny about it, lazily thrusting into you and murmuring in your ear about how you know he can't pull out like this, darlin', you just feel too good. he'll nuzzle against your neck and press gentle kisses against your skin and murmur praise into your ear until you let him cum inside you. he'll be a beautiful mess afterwards, panting softly while his skin glistens with sweat, stroking your hair while he tells you that you were so good for him, baby, and he loves when you let him fill you up like this.

but, on occasion, if he's feeling pent up or just especially horny, he'll make sure you know what he's going to do to you. he'll bottom out inside you and tease all of your sweet spots with the swollen, leaking head of his cock, each movement accompanied by a deep, guttural grunt. when he gets close, he'll hold your hips in place, gripping so hard that his fingertips leave bruises, and growl into your ear about how you're going to be good for him and let him fill you. you're going to lay there, obedient and sweet, while he pumps your needy hole full of cum. after all, you wouldn't dream of disobeying him, would you, darlin'? you wouldn't dare deny the captain's orders?

[fantastic-nonsense]

genuinely starting to believe my theory that being handed 'Batman' or 'Amazing Spider-man' makes even the best writers go insane with power and instantly start producing mid to terrible stories for the duration of their run

[brettsgoldstein]

can we please talk about woman of the hour because holy shitt oh my god dude. its actually so good and not even in the sense i was expecting it to be like i originally didnt wanna watch it bc i dont love indulging in serial killer media that can romanticize it but this wow. it does not do that at all like watching anna kendricks snippet of her interview with stephen colbert fr convinced me oh she gets it and well she really does. so many details down the the way its written wiith the back and forth and the way its shot really emphasizing the abuse women have to deal with. and the very first shot isnt even of this fucking guy its of one of his victims but it's thru a camera lens a literal objectifying lens. "people dont want to be seen, stop performing" *sheryl nods, like an authority figure is speaking to her* all the different ways women have to make themselves feel small at the sake of a man to ensure their safety and protection. when sarah experiences a very weird, very dangerous, gesture she laughs it off awkwardly because what else is she to do? that shot with just her in the frame head on clearly contemplating the truth of her situation figuring out if its worth it to even try and run. cut to a scene of sheryl doing something very similar but shes not in danger, right? but she sleeps with him anyway. laura no one is going to believe you not even your boyfriend are u really sure its the same guy you have to be 100% certain sure honey just wait right here ill get the studio exec for you since the cops didnt do anything oh yeah the guard at the desk sorry yeah hes such an asshole right? the men encroaching in the frame of the women make urself small no one's going to believe you he's not taking the hint just leave just leave im so stupid for letting him in everythings a risk, i don't date much haha, oh that's just la, dear. it's okay, baby, i'm just so embarrassed, don't look don't look believe me believe me okay now run. "stop performing" because to perform is to survive and sheryl doesn't want to survive she just wants to live.

[payasita]

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