#that we talk about parent-child relationships when the children in question are not children anymore but whole grown ass adults

[ananke-xiii]

I think the only thing I'll never change my mind about SPN is that I moderately enjoy Bobby (until he's alive at least, after that I wish they had just stopped but no, I was stuck with the ghost of Bobby past and the ghost of Bobby AU forever) but I'll never agree to see him as the "Good Father Figure" that fandom (heavily fuelled by canon, I have to admit, it's not a fanon thing or something like that) makes him out to be. And I say "fandom" because, while it makes sense for the characters to see Bobby as "Good Father", I'm very limited in my understanding as to why people usually don't question this view and take it at face value.

And I blame "Death's Door" for this because, on one hand, the "death is a door/ the door of death" concept is something that I deeply, deeply ADORE so this ep. is just SOOO enjoyable to watch. And, also, the implications that whatever you didn't deal with in life you'll have to deal with in death? This is my jam, LOooOOOoooVE this. Not only do we get to see Bobby's GIGANTIC trauma but we get to see it via him re-living it? Uhm, yes, more of this, thanks.

On the other hand, the bad: side characters' backstories that become really interesting only before they die is a meh for me. I can't make myself like this type of overly-emotional writing cop-out so this is a me-problem. Well, the other thing is also a me-problem, lol: Bobby's death reframes his life as "worthy" because he was "a good father to two heroes" or whatever he says in the episode and to me this is very boring. It shouldn't be, because it's a noble and wonderful thing, I just find it boring precisely because of what the episode has just showed me, i.e. Bobby's HUUUUGE trauma. As far as I see it, you can't explain trauma away like that. It's a very mediocre view of healing from trauma but still understandable from a writing pov because, well, Bobby is a side character and his death his functional to the main characters' story, sadly. But my point is that it could've been so without the resolution of his, I repeat, BIIIIG trauma thanks to him rejecting his own father's accusations by saying that, after all, he did something good with his life and this something was Sam and Dean. I think Bobby should have had his own moment there, face to face with the fictionalized version of his father but should've engaged with him differently. We had 6 seasons of implied parent-child relationship between Bobby and Sam and Dean, this extra glorification wasn't necessary, imo.

It's this over-explanation that bores me and it's also, I think, a huge factor in how lots of people seem to interpret Bobby as this "Good Father" type which he, let's just say it, isn't. And it's totally okay because that's the core of his character! Like, he was a deeply traumatized man who was aware enough of his own issues to decide that having children wasn't for him and this decision caused him (and Karen, his wife) some big problems. And then, and theeeeen, after tragedy hits him again, he finds out that, yk what? perhaps not only does he LIKE being a father, he'd also make, probably, a good father. But he's not. We think he's good because compared to John anything and anyone are better parents than him. The bar is in hell (lol) and all that. And because the show itself can't really imagine what being a good father actually means. Like, in SPN playing baseball and learning how to drive are portrayed as peak father-son moments but they're definitely not. They can be but, per se and without context, they're not, they're just conventionally accepted images of what a "good father" is supposed to do with his son.

It's, of course, way, waaaaaaaaay more complex than this but, essentially, a "good father" is "just" a parent who Loves his children. But, like, the very first STEP you need to take in order to be able to Love your children is to start working toward loving your inner child, which is another way of saying that you have to give yourself the Love you haven't received or, at least, some grace. Which is WEEEERK, loads and loads and loads of it. And this is impossible on Supernatural, duh, because it's the self-loathing people show where the "work" they have to do is something else entirely and it's more like a "job". But they went SOOOO close to get this in "Death's Door", all they had to do was for adult Bobby not to confront his own, imagined father but to hug himself as the scared little child he was. That was it. That would've been a huuuuuuge first step for the show as a whole.

So, to me, Bobby couldn't actually be a "good" father because he hadn't resolved his deep, deeeeeep, immeeense trauma that he brought to his DEATH. But the interesting thing about him is that he could have been a great father. It's the unexplored potentiality that makes him compelling and quite tragic, frankly. I mean, he's "The One Who Tried To Do The Very, Veeeery Minimum At Least" and that's actually already a lot in that show.

This, thiiiiiiiis I like. So this is the Bobby that I moderately enjoy.

[frownyalfred]

Some questions and thoughts for the Coral Room

I noticed that there are often mentions of beta mothers. Alfred is jokingly compared or called one, beta mothers are all swarming Bruce in your last post, etc. etc.

But I also remember that Betas do not really have a childbearing role in your world. They're there so they can care for the pack as a whole and jump in if either Alpha or Omega (or both, poor Alfred) are indisposed for whatever reason (mentioned childbearing, childcare, drops, death (poor Alfred²))

So are there just Betas that do the majority of child care and are thus assigned the extra role of parent, additionally to already being in a pack that communally raises the pups?

How do Betas generally cope with the nuclear family constellation that's become the norm? They can adopt children, but not sire or carry their "own". Alphas and Omegas would also seek out each other for ruts or heats, since that's what's expected. So building romantic relationships would be pretty limited in the way modern society is structured.

What are their struggles? What are their norms? How do the maneuver a world that's pressures Alphas, objectives Omegas and forgets Betas?

Excellent question. You'll probably have noticed that the references to beta mothers in the fic are purposefully toward older beta women, or those who are from a few generations back. They're the last holdover of the pack mentality before the nuclear family shift. And you're absolutely right, they serve as parents and/or communal carers in the pack hierarchy, despite not being childbearers.

But, now that packs are dying out and shifting to a more nuclear family model, beta mothers are feeling that shift the most. They don't have 'children' in the sense of alphas and omegas, in that they are children they sired. But back in the old ways, any child they parented was theirs, just as much as it was the alpha or omega's.

This new mindset definitely pressures betas to fall into relationships with other betas, and yes I'd imagine some would adopt. Others fall into nanny/caregiving roles for alpha/omega pairs but fall short of being allowed to use the 'beta mother' title, since it's essentially defunct. And those alpha/omega pairs rarely induct those folks into their pack, largely because they don't have one anymore outside of their mating bond.

Alfred is a good example of a pack beta / beta mother holdover from the earlier times. Thomas and Martha were old enough and from old family lines that they still thought of their possible children, their house, and their future as a pack. As we see in one of the spin off fics, Martha refuses to proceed with her pregnancy (jokingly) until Thomas names Alfred as pack beta. I truly believe their plan was to have many children, and to start a formal pack that way. Which they would be allowed to more easily by society, as they were old and "eccentric" as opposed to trying to fit into the modern working nuclear family mindset.

A big theme I was kind of putting off to the side in ASOH (but talked a lot about here) is how Bruce + Clark are bringing back some older traditions, thanks in no small part to Lex. They prioritize a pack mindset and rarely even think about the more modern family setup others follow. This puts them in conflict with folks like the huffy alpha junior (I forget what i named him -- Graham?) at the gala who is rude to Lex, only for his father (Senior) to treat Lex with older omega customs and respect.

So yes, in a long winded answer to your question: betas probably suffer the most in this new world, because they are forced to curb their instincts that would normally be flourishing in a pack hierarchy. Alfred did this for a while when Bruce was going through his own issues with being an omega -- but it's clearly not ideal for him, and certainly hurt him long term after operating as a pack beta for his parents.

This is also a bit of a joke for myself, but the beta mother joke Lex makes precedes him going over and introducing himself to them in order to win favor. He immediately asks them if any of their sons are single -- this is a subtle way (ish) to indicate that while he's younger, he respects the beta mother role and sees them as valid parents. Of course this wins them over right away, as we see briefly. Clark also wins them over by politely chatting with them in their beta capacity, though he's not as aware of the high society lines as Lex or Bruce are.

[37-children-of-the-dreams]

PSA WARNING: Asaba Harumasa’s Agent Story Part One

CW: Child exploitation, suicide and talks of suicide, and a bittersweet ending.

So I did Harumasa’s Agent Story knowing that it’s not going to be a happy one. Yet, I was not prepared for what the writers had in store for his Agent Story.

Now, if you think Lighter had problems, you’re about to question what is wrong with the writers because they upped the ante with Asaba Harumasa.

(Sorry to the next S rank male, but the devs might torture you next)

Now, the story starts off lightly and a bit sad because Harumasa wants to be on sick leave, and then it’s revealed that he was abandoned as a child. Is he an orphan? Might as well because those people shouldn’t be called parents anymore.

Then, after a few fights into his story, we learn that he knew Seth and his brother from their academy days, though it seems that Asaba did not have a good relationship with Seth’s brother and that might’ve contributed to why he acts mean to Seth. If you did Lighter’s Trust Events, you would remember that Asaba and Seth did not get along when dealing with Lighter, Asaba even going as far as to tell Lighter to report Seth for what happened. And now you know why.

And then the fight with the child who turned into an Ethereal. It was bad. Asaba is shook and Seth drives it harder. We had no chance to save the child.

And then you meet this guy. You will want him dead and gone to HELL.

More lore about his master. It hurts him to think about him. He wants answers and has been finding him for years.

I didn’t get much pictures from the start of his second part, but the ones I did get, it’s just horrible. The reason being that you and Asaba meet THREE more victims and Asaba knows what they’re going through because it’s his past that they’re going through. And one of them is suicidal.

He studied a bit of psychology. Good for him because it does help with trying to deal with trauma.

The writers need a ton of awards, higher pay checks and a million vacation days. They legitimately deserve it. This is highly realistic and true. There will be days when you’ll think of why you’re still alive when the world is just suffocating you but then realize that everyday you haven’t died is you being a survivor of your worst thoughts. It’s hard, and it is highly annoying to keep hearing people telling you to be happy when you don’t want to feel like it, but one more day of living for a tiny reason is better than nothing.

We get back to Seth and the other guy. All I can say is, I advocate murdering people that uses children as science experiments and lie to their face about it. Also, I don’t like the other guy because he’s okay with children dying for medical advancement. I get that they won’t live for long, but it’s not right, and we all should try to be like Seth in this topic.

I know this is a secret test of character, but this is why, despite his naivety on some topics, Seth is a good boy. You can trust him to save your life.

May the bad blood end today. Seth passed his test.

Shoot him. Take him to HELL.

[hidden-snow]

✦┈⋆┈ ⋞ 〈 Ｒｕｎｎｉｎｇ Ｈｏｍｅ ｔｏ Ｙｏｕ 〉 ⋟ ┈⋆┈✦

Summary // You thought your relationship was as special to him as it was to you. You thought he loved and cherished you as much as you loved and cherished him. But when his family leaves the Omatikaya and all he has to offer is ‘I’m sorry’ when you beg and plead for him to stay with you, you realize that you were so, so wrong about him. Heartbroken and defeated, a girl barely seventeen years old, you decide that you will never love again. After all, it hadn’t meant anything to him. Years later and you are the best of the best. A strong warrior and an even better hunter, you provide for your people in every way except for a child to add to the next generation of Omatikaya people. They respect your wishes but you can hear the whispers. You can feel the concerned gazes from your parents, too old to conceive a sibling to make up for your lack of children. When he comes back, it throws you through a loop. Handsome, mighty, and different, he comes to you right away. But you promised yourself.

Warnings // Angst, a bit of stalker Neteyam, some fluff, mentions of drinking, heartbreak

Word count // 1,143

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

All the pieces were falling into place according to Eywa’s will, and yet, you were a very unwilling participant in her game of love and fate.

You were constantly running into him, no matter how hard you tried to avoid his path. And while he always greeted you with a friendly smile that lit up his golden-amber eyes, you would dart away like a shy nantang pup, the tips of your ears red with a blush.

You had no idea what had gotten into you, nor why you couldn’t seem to face him. After all, you were the best warrior the Omatikaya had, and here you were, running away from the one person you couldn’t bring yourself to face.

The funniest part of this whole mess was this; you could gladly take on any warrior from another village, no matter how big or experienced they were. But when it came down to interacting with a friend and fellow Omatikayan, you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t face him.

Until you couldn’t avoid him anymore.

“Are you sure this is alright?”

He was joining your parents for dinner, which ultimately left you in an awkward situation that was impossible to escape from.

Your mother turned her scolding glare from you, plastering on a sweet little smile for Neteyam to see.

“Of course. Our daughter has been looking forward to this meal. She even caught some yerik specially for our supper.”

“You did?” Neteyam questioned, raising an eyebrow of surprise towards you.

You did?

You returned his surprised gaze with a similar surprised look, confusion stirring up inside.

That was… until you saw the way your mother smirked, bent over the cooking meat, and it all clicked into place.

She was setting you up on a date with your former lover.

“Letwan,” you mutter as you move to sit closer to the cooking food. She only laughed, ignoring your flaring annoyance at the situation she’d cornered you in.

Neteyam sat down beside you, waiting to be handed some of the cooked yerik, the aroma sweet and savory. Your mother always knew how to mix in just the right amount of blended berries and spices to make the meat smell and taste delicious.

You took a deep breath, reminding yourself that this was simply a family dinner. Everything was going to be alright.

Your father cleared his throat as he entered your little family alcove, motioning to your mother.

“We are needed by the tsahìk. Continue the dinner without us. We will be back soon,” he explained as he guided your mother out of the space.

Your father was in on it? They were especially sneaky to have managed to pull this plot off successfully, leaving you two alone in awkward silence.

“Why didn’t you kiss me?” you blurt out, just as Neteyam was lifting some of the meat to his lips.

He looked at you with a strange look of confusion and annoyance, as you obviously expected an answer from him.

“What are you talking about, Y/n?”

“Back when I lost the race,” you respond, playing with the edge of your tewng as the air between you filled with that same heavy awkwardness that seemed to follow you around wherever you went.

“Ah.”

You look back at him, only to find his face inches from your own, his hand reach up to cup your cheek.

“Would you… rather I had gone ahead and kissed you then?”

His voice is soft and smooth, eyes moving from your gaze to your lips before coming back to your eyes.

Why was your heart beating so loud? Why were you holding your breath?

The air around you shifted from awkwardness to an energy full of lightning, as if the world itself was pushing you two closer together.

“Please don’t,” you whisper, pulling back, only to find that he followed, chasing your lips until you were flat on your back with his body above your own.

“Neteyam, please. I don’t want this. Not like this.”

He pulls back, sitting down with his meal, leaving you breathless and even more confused than before.

“Now you understand. I was not going to kiss you, only because you were being pushed to do it. That would not have been real. I want you to kiss me because you want to kiss me. Not because you lost in a game of chance.”

You still didn’t understand, but your heart continued to slam around loudly in your chest, gaze watching him nervously, a blush bright on your cheeks and the tips of your ears.

“Neteyam…”you breathe out, only because you don’t have anything else to say. It was like your mind had stopped functioning, all words erased and replaced with the thoughts of just how close his body had been to yours.

The heat between your bodies was intense with something you couldn’t describe and, as you became more and more in control of your senses, you realized that his scent had clogged up the area. All you could smell was him, a musky, foresty scent with the slightest mixture of salty water, a scent that only belonged to him.

Why were you so fixated on him?

Your gazed traveled from his eyes, following the bridge of his nose to his thin lips, glazed with juice from the meat he’d just popped into his mouth. Continuing down, your eyes trailed the light black tattoos that marked his chin and throat, connected to the broad shoulders and thick chest that his father had handed down to him through birth.

The tattoos wound up around his right shoulder, across his bicep, attracting your attention, before it slipped down to marvel at his perfectly formed abs.

And if you went farther down…

You shook your head. You didn’t want to look any further down. It was too much of a risk to even be looking at him like this. You’d fall for him all over again and then this life of hardening yourself and rejecting love… it’d be pointless.

“You know, it’s weird to have you call me by my first name. I am too used to you calling me yawne,” Neteyam hummed softly and your gaze was drawn back to his lips.

Your tongue poked out, swiping over your own lips, and your nose crinkled as you tore your eyes away from him.

“Yeah,” you respond quietly, meek and nervous. “Yeah, I suppose it is a bit weird, isn’t it?”

He thought you were referring to the way you addressed him, but in your mind, it wasn’t that. You hadn’t even been paying attention to his words.

What was weird was that you were feeling an insanely strong desire to grab his face and kiss him. Just once. Just to see if he still tasted the way he had before he left you behind.

That was weird.

Right?

Taglist // @earthling55 / @cardi-bre91 / @bambithewriter

[arliedraws]

Ok so I need your opinion on the "Sirius black was always different and was abused from the very beggining" thing because after thinking about the canon Sirius and Walburga it made me think that Sirius probably used to be Walburga's biggest pride and joy because he was a perfect son in her eyes but their relationship started getting worse after he miraculously became a Gryff.

It just fits, you know? Regulus always sounded like a quiet child, someone often overlooked while Sirius is loud, opinionated and hard to control. And Walburga sounds exactly the same.

There is no way she wouldn't love a child that is her copy, someone she saw as the perfect future heir. Because he //was// perfect.

But then he became a Gryff and mayby she still believed things would stay the same but then Sirius came home for the holidays and he was- different. Yeah, he was still loud and proud but he started asking questions that neither Walburga nor Orion liked. They humanized mudbloods!

After that I think the relationship just became more and more toxic until Sirius couldn't stay anymore in the house he used to love, with people he used to (and mayby still) love.

Mayby that's why Walburga hated her oldest so much even as a portrait. Sirius was supposed to be //the best//, he was supposed to be //perfect//. And yet here he is, broken and a shell of his perfect little boy, used, chewed up and discarded when he was no longer needed

What do you think?

First off, I’m going to be really careful about how we define abuse here. I agree to a certain extent, but I think we need to consider that what we know to be emotional and physical neglect/abuse today is very different from 1960s-1970s child-rearing. The Blacks were an exceptionally traditional magical family, and their behaviors towards their children would have reflected this.

I think Mrs. Black loved Sirius more than Regulus, and I imagine her expectations for Sirius were much higher. “Sit up straight, do this, do that, don’t do that,” etc. Critiquing, nitpicking, criticizing. Today, I doubt we would tolerate this sort of behavior from a parent, but I think this would have been very normal in their society. After all, you show your child how much you love them by turning them into the very best version of them, right? Right???

Regulus was a jealous, sycophantic little slug. I think he would have tried to get Sirius in trouble whenever he could, but no one likes a snitch, particularly not Mrs. Black. But it’s easy to pit siblings against each other, and Mrs. Black would have used this to her advantage: “Oh, Sirius, look how refined your brother is. Do you see him speaking out of turn? Do you see how he obeys his mother?”

I also headcanon that Mrs. Black used magic to teach lessons. In a fic, I have Sirius relate an anecdote from childhood where he repeatedly talks out of turn and Mrs. Black uses a Silencing charm on him to shut him up for a few days—a gentle punishment in her eyes and a vital life lesson, but really traumatizing for a child. Again, this is abuse, and perhaps other traditional families would see it as extreme, but I don’t think anyone would express concern or find it particularly troubling. (James would be horrified, though, of course.)

As Sirius drifts further and further away from his family, however, Mrs. Black becomes increasingly desperate to keep her son in line. They eventually dissolve into constant fighting until Sirius can’t take it anymore and runs away (or this scenario).

A lot of folks think that pain and hatred is the foundation of abuse, but really, it’s often love. Growing up in an environment where you are never good enough, where your parents are constantly criticizing who you are and how to improve is an incredibly damaging and traumatizing way to grow up. Imagine being told that you are better than everyone else but you are still not good enough. Your everyday actions—speaking, eating, just sitting there—could be something you’re doing wrong. Imagine just trying to fucking eat and your mother barks at you that you’re holding your knife and fork wrong. Or that the order in which you’re eating is wrong. Or that you’re making too much eye contact or not enough or that you can’t speak until an adult addresses you. Not because she hates you, but because she loves you.

Anyway, is it abuse? Yeah. Would Sirius have considered it abuse? I’m not so sure, but I’m not sure he would recognize it as love (why would he?). However, Mrs. Black definitely saw her parenting as love, and she would see him running away as taking her love and throwing it all away for nothing. Let’s be honest, I think she always hoped Sirius would come back to her, and it drove her mad that he never did.

Oh, and yeah, Sirius definitely loved his family. He was constantly rejected and belittled, and I think he hated himself for wanting their approval deep down (even though he would NEVER admit it and never do anything to get it). This is what can be so hard for children who come from emotionally abusive families—at some point, it’s still your mom, and you want her to love you, but you fucking hate that you want it.

[enihk-writes]

[forget-me-not]

pairing: jing yuan x gn!reader

summary: he likes to meditate a lot, to calm himself and keep himself sane from all the sorrows he has been through thus far. and it seems the general has never been one to remember personal tragedies.

word count: 0.89k

author's note: i saw that one tweet about him forgetting snowmoon supposedly if you ask him about it,,, i went crazy and also lost my consciousness. bone apple teeth yall.... this was made in 30 minutes.

═══════════════

jing yuan has known you since you were both in diapers. studying together, playing together, falling asleep under the tree in his parent's garden, tired from running away from your teachers to skip class together —

anything you could think of, the two children have experienced it together.

so when he announced to his family that he would be joining the cloud knights, and faced the harsh opposition, it only made sense that you would pack your things alongside him and leave with him during the night.

training was harsh and he'd often come back to the small room you both shared tired and exhausted. you were not fit for the military like he was, and frustrated with the circumstances, he had a fight and fell out with you. for the first time in his life thus far, he woke up and you weren't there.

he tells himself that he was fine, that he didn't need you to be him all the time. he wan't a baby anymore, he was a cloud knight! and cloud knights were cool and strong and capable and independent...

he wasn't really fine, spending days that turned to months and then years without you around. with no sight, no sound of you. he was wondering if you were just a figment of his imagination.

but things took a turn when his mentor, jing lu, took him to meet her friends. not really registering what she was saying about the kid her friend had taken in around his age until he was face-to-face with the person he'd thought he'd never see again.

baiheng, who had been eagerly watching this exchange chuckled gleefully, her hand slapping his back to snap him out of his daze.

ah-yuan, do you like the suprise?

he looks at her, stupified.

the foxian flashes him a lopsided grin, mentally cheering at her victory. you see, she had picked a certain lost child roaming on the streets with nothing but the clothes on their back and a small sack across their back, many years ago. the child was crying, still upset over an argument they had earlier with their best friend, and even more distraught over the overwhelming feelings of uselessness they had been feeling for a while.

baiheng's heart had ached for the little one, taking them under her wing and bringing them along her journeys as a nameless. you, who was once this lost child had now seen worlds past your skies and had long outgrown the juvenile skin you used to wear.

you stood before him, with the same face he had always remembered, but now carrying the aura of galaxies beyond his comprehension. despite this, you were still you, after all. and he talked to you like you had never left his side before.

somewhere along the way, your awkward reunion and cracked relationship was mended. the ground stood fertile for something new to bloom between the two of you. and as the vines of this new feeling wrapped around his heart, with tendrils sinking into the soft flesh, he feels that things have changed but stayed the same yet felt uncertain all at once at every turn of his relationship with you.

you looked at him a little differently too these days. and as you two toed the line of what you both were, the unasked question that hung in the air — will we or won't we cross over that line together?

jing yuan wasn't a patient man and was the first to step over the edge, falling into your space, filling your mind with his presence and taking your heart in his hands. he was yours, and maybe that was the fate that was set in stone all along, with you being the first one he chose as a baby as opposed to that sword he always told others he had picked.

your death was as sudden as it could have come. and it hurt more that you died not from age as a short-life species but from a freak accident. something, something about baiheng being turned into some chimera beast and mortally wounding you as you desperately called to whatever remnants of the woman you grew to love like a mother were left in the abomination.

when jing lu came back, a casket in tow, he could not bear to look inside it. a funeral was held for you and baiheng, and he didn't go. no one blamed him, no one looked for him either.

years pass, and more tragedies struck what was once the proud heroes of the high cloud quintet, from five to four to two and finally, it was just him that was left behind, yet again.

he's taken up to meditation, choosing to focus on better memories no matter how mundane so as to rest his heart from all that it's been through. every year as the memories mold and morph into each other, he picks out the bad ones like black spots in a bin of rice, and casts them out of his mind.

these days, there is a rumor of the general's old flame. someone found pages of a tattered exchange diary with the man in question and a nameless. though when march and the trailblazer asks him about it, he only hums and shrugs. not really knowing what they mean.

[canarias-stuff]

Phases of Love / Kuroo Tetsurou X Fem!Reader - (Chapter 2)

Summary:

Tetsurou was 8 when his parents called him and his older sister, Hana, to sit at the dinner table to discuss something really important. They were serious, but it was clear that there was some sadness behind their eyes.

A divorce, they said. They were getting divorced.

Author's note: This chapter isn't long, but I feel like this chapter and the first one were to introduce the characters and the back story.

I hope that you will enjoy it!^^

This time, the chapter is from Kuroo's pov, and sometimes I will try to change povs because I think that it's interesting to see stuff from different characters views.^^

Tags: Romance; Eventual romance; Slow Burn; cross posted Ao3.

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3

Chapter 2: First Meeting

Tetsurou was 8 when his parents called him and his older sister, Hana, to sit at the dinner table to discuss something really important. They were serious, but it was clear that there was some sadness behind their eyes.

A divorce, they said. They were getting divorced.

He had a vague idea of what the word meant, he heard it once in a while on the doramas that his sister liked to watch, or read the word on the mangas and manhwas that she showed him, and everytime that the word appeared, it meant that a character would cry.

But the one who started crying first was Hana, and not their parents.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not working anymore.”

“But we are still…friends.”

“It’s complicated.”

“We love you.”

“One day you will understand.”

“We’re sorry.”

They don’t really explain why they decided to divorce, but Tetsurou was observant for a kid his age, and he saw that the relationship between his parents became strained at some point, he just didn’t know how it would end. That’s why he probably didn’t cry like his sister, or he just couldn’t totally grasp the situation, after all he was just an eight years old kid.

However, he could comprehend that a divorce would change not only his parents' lives, but also his.

…

He wasn’t wrong.

Their parents asked them a really difficult question a few days later, probably after signing a lot of documents with a man that called himself a lawyer.

They wanted him and his sister to choose between their father and mother. Who they wanted to stay with.

They explain that usually children stay with the mother in case of divorce, but his parents wanted to give them a chance to choose, because they feel like they owe their kid this much for their selfishness.

…

Kuroo Tetsurou was eight when he moved cities together with his father to live with him and his grandparents. He leaves behind his mother and Hana, but his parents are friendly with each other (or as friendly as a divorced couple can be), so they promise to meet as much as possible for the sake of their kids. 

He leaves behind his school and friends.

He leaves the only life that he knew so far.

When he chose his father over his mother, he didn’t really think about what it really meant, but now, while setting his new room at his grandparents house, his brain finally starts catching up with the whole situation.

Summer vacation just started, he won’t be at his new school for a few weeks, he has time to get used to the neighborhood, has time to talk with his grandparents that he rarely had contact with before, has time to play…

Play with who though?

It’s not like he knew someone there.

It’s not like he had friends there.

And now that he really thinks about it, how did he make friends before?

…

Maybe his grandparents saw how anxious he became, because just two days after he arrived at his new home, he was introduced to the Kozume’s, a family that lives a couple of houses down the block, and that had a child around his age. 

Kozume Kenma, 7 years old.

Golden eyes and dark brown hair.

He looks like a cat in his opinion.

Kenma is the opposite of the kids that he used to hang out with. He is quiet, and doesn't really meet his eyes, Kenma plays video games alone in his room, and Tetsurou can’t bring himself to say something. Anything. So he decides to read mangas on the floor of Kenma’s room, because he doesn’t know how to make friends.

…

There are other children in the neighborhood, Tetsurou knows that, he saw some boys running around with balls under their arms and girls playing in the park, but he doesn’t feel comfortable going straight to them and asking to be included in their groups. He prefers Kenma’s quiet and calm company.

So he is surprised when the quiet younger boy, three weeks after he arrived in the neighborhood, asks:

“Do you…want to play something?”

Tetsurou brightened up at the question, and before Kenma could even think about taking back his words, he went back to his house, got the volleyball that was getting dust on the corner of his room, and went back to Kenma’s house.

It’s the first time that he plays the sport since arriving there, Tetsurou tries his best to teach Kenma the basics, and he is not really surprised that the younger boy is terrible with physical activities (he lost count of how many times the ball hit Kenma’s face), but he is touched that Kenma is trying for him.

He decides that day that Kenma is his new friend, and probably best friend.

…

Not that he is the right person to judge, but Tetsurou is aware that Kenma doesn’t have a lot of friends (or any), but sometimes when he is walking around the block, he can see a girl entering or leaving the Kozume family’s house.

Tetsurou wonders if the girl is a friend of Kenma, and if one day Kenma will introduce her, but it’s a fleeting thought, and he forgets about it.

Or at least, he forgets about it until he goes to Kenma’s house the next day after their first volleyball game.

“Kenma!”

He runs around the house and goes straight to the younger boy’s room, and then slams the door open.

“Kenma! Let’s play vol…” But his voice dies when (e/c) eyes stare at him, a curious expression on her features.

It’s the girl that Tetsurou saw sometimes around here. Kenma’s friend maybe?

“You must be Kuroo Tetsurou-kun!” He nodded, because he feels awkward now. Did he just interrupt their hanging out?

But the girl smiles…

“Nice to meet you! I’m (l/n) (y/n)!”

…and for some reason, Tetsurou felt warm and welcomed.

Ao3 Link

[marshmallowprotection]

I’m so happy seeing mystic messenger content in 2025 I miss it so much!!

Could you do a request based on Good ending Jihyun or Normal ending Jihyun with with the birth of their first child, watching their child be born, taking them home etc…?

(Also idk why but I always imagine V and MC having twins but it’s up to you if you wanna do that)

Lucy is their first child, canonically, if we want to be clear. Nothing on you, Anon, I just wanted to say this as an overall since I sometimes see some folks diminish this part of the after ending. I understand if people don't use her in their personal After Ending for whatever reason, you do you at the end of the day; But I find it's very important to state that adopted children are real children, too. So, any child born into the relationship you have with Jihyun will be your second child if you include Lucy in your canon.

Adopted children should not, in any way, be diminished by any child born to a pregnant person and their partner. A lot of families do that, though.

They'll discount any child who was adopted before the family had a child in the biological sense, and this can cause a lot of serious issues for everyone involved. While I'm aware your question isn't about Lucy and is about V and MC's other possible children—It's so important to note that V is the only one out of the entire cast whose After Ending shows him with a child, an adopted daughter, no less.

That's important to his character and I don't think it can be disregarded.

He definitely wants to be a father but his choosing to adopt a child is in no way meant to erase the mistakes he made in the past with the twins. Lucy is not a do-over. She is her own person and he wants a chance to give her a loving family. In this after ending, he's trying to do his best by the twins, too. Some may say too little too late but this is the one timeline where he gets himself together and does his best to do what's right by everyone and himself.

His choosing to adopt shows a lot about who he is as a person and the goals he has in life. This doesn't mean he's not open to having a biological child with a partner, but that child will be a second child because he would never want Lucy to feel unwanted or replaced. That can be a common theme with adopted children who come to terms with the fact that their family is going to shift and it won't be just them in the house anymore.

They also have to confront those difficult feelings and question if their parents may think less of them because there is no "biological connection." V would most definitely have her in therapy to talk about those feelings, though, if that were the case. I'm sure the boys would talk to her as well. Because there's no doubt the twins must have had those feelings, well, at the very least I'm certain that Saeran and Ray would. Saeyoung's hard to read in this ending because of how much emotional whiplash he's been subjected to, but it's worth bringing up.

That being said, V is an attentive partner and considerate to your wants and needs.

He will do his best to help you through pregnancy. He can be such a worrywart, too. He wants to help you navigate this without pain but that's impossible. There will always be snags, bumps, and days when it's difficult to get up without feeling aches or pains. But, what can he do to help with that? He can get you pillows, food, water, and a calm environment to simply... breathe. He might be over the top just from the fact that he'd give you more than what you need ahead of time?

But, his ability to over prepare helps him out in his case because you will always have what you need before you need it. It's one way he's been able to transform his anxiety from caution to control. Instead of being afraid of what's to come, he's taken the time to actualize many of his worries by considering different outcomes and things you may need.

He finds beauty in these moments because they're a part of the process. I bet your bottom dollar you spent a good month of the pregnancy watching him paint the nursery, though. He took his time to create the vision you both imagined and when he's done, you'll realize he left a whole wall blank and undone for the future. He knows his child may not want to be a painter or even an artist, but he leaves them a wall to express themselves with in any way they want. Big emotions realize big action sometimes! Why not paint on the walls?

There are no rules to art.

He's not the pretentious teenager he used to be who tried to argue what was art and what couldn't be art. Art is what you feel, from a little squiggle to the Mona Lisa.

He doesn't stress about things because he knows he's found what you need, and if he doesn't have something, he can work on getting that while everything else is taken care of. Now, he can't prepare for the actual baby like this because you can't prepare yourself enough for a little human. You can only do your best and work to do as good as you can when you're challenged in ways you didn't expect to be! I can see him definitely losing sleep at first because he would want to check on the baby to let you rest.

Not just because he's that kind of selfless, but because he likes the time he's spending with your baby. He gets to reflect and think of his life and the life your little one is about to experience. He talks to them a lot, and sometimes you'll catch him doing it in the middle of the night on the baby monitor when he thinks you're still resting. He talks to them about his life, about how he wants them to never know what he did growing up.

They won't have to fight for his attention or approval. He'll always be in their corner and make sure they feel supported, even if they're not sure how to process their feelings. His main regret in life is turning away from his mother when she wanted to help him, and he never wants to put his child in that position. He wants them to know he loves them and he won't let them spend a day thinking otherwise.

[vwritesaus]

how do you think Anna and her parents relationship will be post Christopher death? And if you think Gabriel and Cecily will have a strain on their relationship toward each other due the loss of a child

~

this is such an interesting question, and one i've been wondering about myself for quite some time. thank you for sending it in, anon!!

i think anna would still be close with her parents. we see that relationship in every exquisite thing and i don't think it would change here. if anything, i believe christopher's death would bring them even closer together. it would be a challenge for sure, making the same old jokes and expecting christopher to be there to laugh or question them with profound logic only to be faced with silence, or looking over at the place at the table where he would have once sat and finding it empty (ow). but they would overcome it together.

not to mention alexander. he's only a child when his big brother suddenly goes away, and while shadowhunters are used to death from a young age, blahblahblah, he'd still feel the loss and not understand it properly?? it would be extremely taxing for anna and gabrily, especially once alexander starts having tantrums because he just doesn't get why christopher isn't there anymore. i imagine they would come up with ways to a) handle those tantrums and b) strategies to help alexander overcome the confusion and handle the loss while still being able to remember his older brother as he grows up. i don't think anna would leave that to her parents alone, even with her and ari going to india at the end of chot. she'd be in frequent contact (in my opinion, anyway. and i reckon ari would have something to say about it too).

as for gabriel and cecily's marriage...

i base this off a couple i know irl who lost their eldest daughter to an aggressive illness that ailed her for most of her teenage and young adult life before she passed away.

there would be a strain at first and both of them would find it extremely difficult to talk about christopher with each other. they would comfort each other, yes. they will cry with each other, yes. but the way they deal with and experience grief is very different (and i touched on this a little bit in the latest chapter of my fic dear christopher). gabriel would want to talk about it, and he strikes me as the type to process his feelings through discussion. cecily normally would too, but in this situation? she completely shuts down. gabriel would be at a bit of a loss but is respectful, and cecily wants to find in herself the will to talk about it, but her mind and body say otherwise.

that said, they would talk about it with other people. gabriel would run to gideon, and cecily to sophie. given their families grew up together, it's impossible to assume that they all don't have a very close relationship with each other. their children certainly had close relationships with one another. thomas and christopher is self-explanatory. we also see how close anna and thomas are in canon (that one scene in choi where thomas sneaks out and anna catches him in the act lives rent free in my mind fr), and anna with eugenia, which would have extended to barbara too. i also believe they're close with their aunts and uncles (thomas and cecily, for instance).

not to mention the fact that gideon and sophie get it. they lost a child too.

gabriel and cecily would talk about christopher, and gideon and sophie about barbara.

also will would definitely be a huge support. cecily wouldn't need to say much to will for him to understand (even though he'd love for her to open up to him fully), and despite their differences when they were kids, he would look out for gabriel too. gabriel and will's friendship is another kettle of fish that i won't delve into here, but it would certainly play a huge role.

and i don't think the marriage will fall apart. it's definitely a changed marriage, but it wouldn't fall apart. they have alexander and anna, and a huge family support network, as i mentioned above.

losing a child has a ripple effect on a relationship, and it's those first couple of years that are the most horrible. and it's not something that will ever go away. with the irl couple, every year around their daughter's birthday and death anniversary, they leave the city. they travel the country as a means to deal with the crushing loss. i'm not saying gabriel and cecily would do that, but it's certainly something they would feel.

they'll argue. they'll cry together. they'll have sleepless nights. they'll raise alexander together. they'll keep an eye on anna together. they'll reminiscence about their son alone or with their family members. they'll spend time apart while being in the same house. they'll be glued to each other's sides. they'll shut down. they'll be silent. they'll become stronger. they'll never move on exactly, but they'll learn how to handle the loss and live with it, because christopher, though no longer with us, will not be forgotten </3

[lovely-cherubs]

Scarlet Embers, Chapter 1: Cafe Comfort

The golden morning sun rays shone inside a cozy cafe, filling the air with the delicious aroma of sandwiches, pastries, desserts, and coffee. The wonderful fragrance brought immense joy and happiness to everyone present there, including Haruka. She was standing patiently at the end of the line, eagerly waiting for her turn.

Cheryl's Café was her favorite breakfast spot in Yorknew City. After moving in with her boyfriend of two years in the city, it became even easier to visit the place. Although her parents were sad to see her leave their home in the suburbs, she promised to visit them whenever she could.

Haruka was planning to visit her parents today after getting her usual order. Although they were not her biological parents, Haruka loved them dearly. They had raised her as their own child, and that was all that mattered to her. 

Sunhee and Chanyeol considered it a blessing, as it fulfilled their wish of having a child. Unfortunately, they were not able to bear any children. When they saw Haruka in a room all by herself, crying and isolated from the other kids due to her scarlet eyes, it made their hearts sink.

Haruka had no recollection of her childhood, nor did she have any information about her biological parents. However, she was resolute in discovering her roots. She yearned to learn about her origin, her parents' characteristics, and more importantly, unravel the mystery behind her eyes.

Why did they turn red when she felt strong emotions? What was so bad about them? Why did she get separated and treated like an outcast growing up? Why did she have to conceal them with brown contact lenses? So many questions yet no answers.

"Next." the barista called. Haruka was the only one standing.

"Right, that's me," Haruka thought as she stepped up to the counter. "The usual please!" she stated with a pleasant grin. 

“Two bagels with cream cheese and a mocha?" the barista eyed her. Haruka smiled.

“You know me very well Selene.” she beamed. “It's the only thing I ever order from here really. Nothing else.” Haruka reached into her purse and handed over 166 Jenny to the girl.

“Well as your best friend, it makes sense that I know what you like. If I didn't, I don't think that I'd deserve the title.” The black-haired girl grinned as she took the payment from her.

“Anyways, how are things with Genji?” Selene sorted the cash and walked out from behind the counter. Haruka’s eyes widened upon hearing the question. 

“Genji? W-What about him?” she stuttered a bit. She didn't expect to be asked about him. Then again, she rarely talked about him. Even with her friends, she barely mentioned him.

“I mean, how are you guys doing? How's your relationship with him? Anything interesting? You never talk about him.” Haruka frowned before she began to explain.

“To be honest, no. Lately he's been so busy with work that we rarely spend any time together. And when we do get time, he's just… distant.” She frowned.

“It feels as if he doesn't want to see me. Ever since he became the manager, he’s been spending more time at his job instead of home. In fact, he rarely comes home anymore and instead, just stays over at the office.” Haruka sat down on one of the tables in the cafe.

It was true. Recently, Genji has been spending more time away from Haruka than usual. The only reason she moved from her home in the suburbs to the city was so she and Genji could see each other often and spend more time together. But ever since she moved in with him, he became even more distant than usual.

Selene raised an eyebrow upon hearing this. “Sounds to me like he's hiding something.” she noted. Though she was single herself, she could smell something suspicious with Genji. It's true that Genji was introverted and all, but that didn't mean he couldn't spend time with his girlfriend.

She knew there was something off about him from the start, but kept quiet. After all, she didn't want to assume anything only to be proven wrong. Haruka sighed, putting her head down on the table.

“I don't know. I don’t want to assume anything and possibly jeopardize our relationship. After all, we've been together for two years and that's probably the longest that I've stayed with anyone compared to my past relationships.” She lifted her head back up.

“I’m telling you, he's is hiding something. Take it from someone who has extremely busy parents who still manage to spend time with my little brother and me.” Selene laid back in her seat.

“For now, it's best to not confront him directly. Observe him. Better yet, I’ll get Ragna to keep an eye on him.” Selene took out her phone and began texting the girl.

“Are you suggesting we stalk him!?” Haruka’s eyes widened. It's true she wanted to know what Genji was hiding from her, but not to this extent.

“Correction, Ragna, not us. No one has more amazing stealth than her. Or are you forgetting how she caught a glimpse of your scarlet eyes without you noticing?” 

“Oh yeah, that's true,” Haruka chuckled. “Honestly, that woman scares me sometimes.” She added while taking a sip of her mocha. 

To Haruka, Ragna was… an interesting person. She could be your best friend, your worst nightmare, or both at the same time. Though anyone who was close with her, including Haruka herself, would say that it’s best if you stayed on her good side.

“Plus, you're his girlfriend, so you can “stalk” him as well. It'll be less suspicious if he ends up seeing you versus if he were to see Ragna.” Selene pointed out.

“Yeah, I guess.” Haruka agreed. “If he is hiding something, I should confront him when I see it,” she noted before getting up from her seat and pressing the button on the middle of her belt. 

With that, four wheels appeared on the bottom of both shoes. The wheels were set in a single straight line, making them rollerblades. She then put on her elbow pads, wrist guards, knee pads, and helmet. She made sure that everything was secured and in place before grabbing her purse. 

“Anyways, I'm off to see mom and dad. I'm not working today and I promised to visit them.” She smiled while attaching breaks on the back of both shoes, now-turned rollerblades. Haruka worked as a papergirl, meaning that she delivered newspapers to people's homes. 

At first, it wasn’t a fun job. Not only did living away from the city make it difficult, but having to go from house to house on a bike was a pain. But, that all changed when her father got her a pair of inline skates on her fifteenth birthday. 

She'd been wanting to learn how to skate for a while and figured that incorporating her ability to skate would make the job easier. As it turned out, she was right. It not only made it easier, but fun too. 

After that, Haruka began using her rollerblades as a method of transportation, only to later realize how annoying it was to switch from her skates to regular shoes every time she went into places like stores, shops, restaurants, and even back home.

It was then that she decided to make her custom-built rollerblades. With the help of her father, they built a pair of rollerblades for her that could be both shoes and skates in one. All she needed to do was press a button and she could go from having skates to shoes and vice versa in a matter of seconds.

“You seriously need to teach me how to make those.” Selene pouted, eyeing the skates. “I feel they would make my life so much easier.”

Haruka chuckled. “Well first, you need to know how to use them,” she explained, skating around the cafe before abruptly stopping herself.

“Trust me, you do not want to fall with these on. Saying this from experience. But if you want, I can make you one of these when I have the time. Being a papergirl during this season is pretty hectic.”

“Oh yeah, the deadline to apply for the Hunter Exam is coming up! Makes sense that everyone is worked up.” Selene mentioned before getting up from her seat.

“But alright, I gotta get back to work. More customers are coming in and it's just me and three others working today. Plus, I'm closing tonight, so I'll be home late.

“Alright, thanks for the heads up. See you later Nene.” With that, Haruka dashed out the front door of the cafe, leaving the place behind.

“Call me if you need anything!” Selene ran outside and shouted before heading back inside the cafe to finish her shift. 

Haruka watched as she quickly passed by other familiar places. She smiled, embracing the feeling of the wind against her skin, the rhythmic motion of her body propelling her forward, the sensation of freedom and movement accompanied by a gentle swaying of her body as she navigated turns and curves. 

Doing this always reminded her of how joyful and exhilarating rollerblading was. To think that she'd grow to love a skill that involves gliding on wheels attached to a pair of boots or shoes. She'd grown attached to the sport. If she didn't skate, she’d feel as if something was missing. 

“Woohoo!” She jumped before sliding down a handrail. “Man that never gets old,” she said out loud to herself. With that, she focused on her path of going to visit the two people she cared about most.

To be continued: Chapter 2 - Secrets, Lies, & Betrayal

Comments and reblogs are appreciated ❤️

[theholidayslingerlikebadperfume]

the more i think about it, the more i come to conclusion that it will neber be the right thing to advocate that any two groups of people not interact with one another.

i know when it's said that generally it seems obvious but it becomes less obvious when we talk about things like adults and minors interacting online for example.

while i am not advocating for inappropriate behavior to occur, i do not think the way to prevent such behavior is to prevent any interaction between the two groups at all. we need older adults to care about children in the community, even if they did not spawn the kid themselves.

we need adults who are willing to engage with children who are lost or forgotten in society in ways that can help them grow into healthy adults with minimum emotional or logical issues.

speaking as a forgotten child, it was the adults around me online who kept me safe. we dont speak anymore but they protected and most importantly they educated me over and over and over again and it is because of them that i grew up pretty alright.

i think we should really, as adults, make a conscious effort to be welcoming to young children, especially young boys, online because i feel like that is really the only way to combat all the fucking misinformation online. we need to welcome children into our spaces where questions can be met with respect and genuine desire to impart knowledge onto the younger generation.

we must not give into the voice inside our heads that wants to make fun of or blame technology for the issues children are facing today.

we want to encourage intergenerational relationships between milennials, gen z and gen alpha. we cannot allow our parents behavior to become part of who we are online and in person but especially around the younger kids.

im so tired of hearing about ipad babies and the death of media literacy, stop whining about the kids. its not cool. its never been cool.

[bubbleonice]

I'm sure you are VERY tired of answering questions about Bill Skarsgård, but I have a few specific questions. I know tarot readings show current energy and the projected future based on that energy so, it can be subject to change, right? On the Swedish govt website, it shows that he and Alida Morberg do not live together anymore--a big change. I find it hard to believe they aren't broken up or orchestrating one. so…

Are they broken up or rather, broken up but choosing not to announce the breakup publically while they figure out the logistics of separating?

Regardless of the above answer, does Alida have some type of blackmail that has made it hard for Bill to leave?

In Sweden, most seriously doubt the paternity of either child because of the timing. When they allegedly split, Alida magically revealed a pregnancy a few months later, so is either child biologically his? He looks to be in physical pain when he talks about them.

Astrologically, it shows a strong chance of a breakup with the eclipses this month or next for Bill and the possibility of meeting someone significant in spring or fall next year. His birth chart also shows a few indications of a foreign spouse as well as a younger spouse, based on the current energy do you think any of this bodes true?

Thank you so much!! I respect your work and love reading your posts.

Answer to your question number one:

2 of swords: Generally speaking, the Two of Swords represents a No. When this card appears in your tarot reading, it is a clear indication that additional information needs to be gathered before making a well-considered decision because at this time. Maybe this means there’s trouble in paradise but nothing is yet decided or finalized? The Two of Swords tarot card appears in a reading when an obstacle has presented itself in your life. This problem won’t be easy to overcome.In fact, it will take a great deal of effort on your part to eliminate. You might be feeling stuck or unsure of which way to turn.

Question number 2 concerning blackmail: I am however not sure in what sense you mean by blackmail. Is threatening to leave also seen as blackmail? Or alienate a parent from their children?

2 of pentacles: If you get the pulled card in the upright position, it indicates Yes as an answer. “life is a balancing act” and the Two of Pentacles is the proper embodiment of this statement. People who are juggling multiple responsibilities, priorities, or otherwise living their lives as ‘busy bees’ often see this card appear in readings. The Two of Pentacles is usually about money. Do you have debt that you are trying to pay down? Is your relationship draining you financially or in some other way? In a relationship and love Tarot reading, the card reminds you that the balancing act can also revolve around energy rather than money. Maybe you are having trouble putting enough effort into your relationship because of other responsibilities.

Third question. I am struggling a bit to understand this request. You say they split? Does it mean they did split at one time but got back together? And she got pregnant?

I am feeling a bit conflicted as to ask my cards about someone’s paternity issues as I think this is not something for anyone to speculate about than those who are in the family. So I am sorry to draw a line there. But I will see if they did split just before the pregnancy.

7 of wands: The answer of the Seven of Wands in a yes or no reading is yes.

Finally let’s see if we can detect any breakup in the near future. And if Bill will encounter someone else.

6 of swords: The Six of Swords in the upright position indicates that now is the time to leave your troubled or chaotic past behind and move toward a brand-new existence. Although it may be painful to leave these people in your past, you must do so to protect yourself and your inner peace. Walking away can be difficult, but sometimes it is the only logical choice. Are there people, places, or things that are toxic and must be left behind? Are you clinging to a past that is gone? The upright Six of Swords is a gentle hand, ready to guide you forward if you are ready.

He is definetely about to move away, leaving the past behind. Let’s see if the cards will reveal any timeframe for us.

The hierophant: Timing: The Hierophant predicts a hidden timing might take you by surprise. The timing is unknown. I guess we just have to lean back and wait for it to happen when we least expect it.

[divasummer]

an excerpt from my journal:

“i only want to keep the best parts of my mother; i reflect her in how i carry myself, how i approach situations, how i care for my body. i want to remember her that way. i leave her with the rest she refuses to let go of. i pray one day she does, i’m sure we’d have a great relationship. until then i cannot maintain the level of stress she transfers to me. i don’t want to hear about our double-crossing family members, i don’t want to hear about your sisters that pray on your downfall, i don’t want to hear about another decision you made when you were manic, i don’t want to keep talking you out of clearly irrational decisions, i don’t want to be manipulated into supporting those irrational decisions, i don’t want anymore financial fraud committed against me [because of those decisions]. i cannot be your mother too. i’m having to mother (and un-mother) myself.”

we (Black womxn) tend to talk about the struggles in mothering ourselves, but some of us with strained maternal relationships also have to endure what i now call “The Un-Mothering” — shedding and unlearning the toxicities that our mothers have imposed upon us. this may involve decentering (Black) men, releasing competition and comparison, challenging her voice in our heads, and perhaps even separating from our mother altogether.

when the metaphorical umbilical cord is cut and we no longer need our parents for survival, all that is left is the relationship they’ve cultivated with us. unfortunately, for many of us, the relationship our parents have created is almost solely transactional and/or based upon a need to be needed. they only prepared to parent a child. a baby. when the need for survival disappears, there’s nothing left. they don’t know or care how to interact with their grown child, they’re stuck in their old ways, they’re not a source of support or safety. therefore, the question for us, the tired and exploited children, becomes:

If there is nothing left, what are you holding on to?

for me, it was the version of my parents i knew when i was much younger. long before my disability bared its teeth and challenged them to look inward — and much longer before it challenged me to take them off their pedestal and look at them objectively. i was small and my parents were everything. they made sure not to fuck me up as a young child, i’ll give them that - private preschool, good public elementary education, Baby Mozart, and lots of reading. i was holding on to the version of my parents that cared, but inadvertently kept myself in the state of the young child - i immortalized my parents at a standard they no longer met. i assume mentally it was my brain’s way of preserving my parents’ integrity and convincing myself they weren’t that bad, but all that does is keep you around some awful people.

if anyone else treated you the way your parents did, you’d cut them loose. at the end of the day, your parents are just two people who treat you badly. it’s even worse because you feel indebted to them, and they capitalize on that. but you hold the power. they thrive on you needing them.

if no one’s rooting for you, i am. cut ‘em loose!

[thaleleah]

awe tal 🩷 don't even apologize!

no girl same i have not met a single step parent who's at least a bit decent! my uncle recently married this woman who has two grown kids, my uncle also has two grown kids. and let's just say that both my cousins disowned their dad 👀 his wife and her daughters are all so problematic that my uncle only hangs out with them and he doesn't even talk to his sons anymore. it's honestly so sad how divided a parent and their child's relationship becomes. and they are so blind to it!

my stepmonster is 43-44! same age my older sister 🥴 and her dad is a year younger than my dad like it's actually so gross 🤮 i do not have an issue with huge age gap relationships, i was in one myself 2 years ago, but when it comes to it being the same age as your own kid or dad i'm like ew dad 😂

and tell me about it? how can they still get it up is the question 😂 my stepmom is actually sick. you know what she would do? she would come up to me and tell me how good my dad fucks her 😑 like bitch i don't want hear how my dad is in bed. i was about to throw up with the details she was providing me 🤢

also girl don't even feel bad for my dad. he fucked up his kids lives so much. he's been a serial cheater since he married my mom, which is why they got divorced, and yet he claims he's still in love with her like what? 😂 and my mom is just selfish. both did so much wrong. my dad actually has a girlfriend on the side rn 😂 and stepmonster knows, but it's all about the money for her. it's a mess of a shitshow lmfao 😂

i just went on a long ass rant i am so sorry girl 😂

your poor mom 😢 your step dad is such a pos. and of course he uses religion as an excuse to control your mom 🙄 "God first, then the husband, then the children" - fuck off clown. he knows damn well it's the kids that come first, you're not even her father? like stfu dude.

girl i get you, i also have to be civil, and it's so hard. i can't imagine how hard it is for you 🩷 it's so sad we have to keep the peace in order to still be in our parents lives 🫤 it's so unfair to us. some parents are just selfish. both mine fucked up everything for their own sake and happiness and completely forgot how it would affect us.

but... thank god we're not alone 🩷 like we always have each other to talk to about this stuff and that helps a lot to know that there is a lot of us who have gone through this!

thank god for tom blyth cause that man is my happiness atm 😩 he literally makes me so happy. whenever i see his face i have this instant smile on my face like an idiot 🥰 i honestly can't for june!

and tal, my love, you have gift.... that tom blyth drabble ughhh 👄💦

THE FUCKING DRAMA WHAT

First of all, I take back everything I said about your dad lol. That man is a cheater and therefore I have ZERO sympathy for him.

I agree that the age gap isn't an issue but it is superrrrrr uncomfortable for him to be older than her own dad and her to be the same age as his daughter. Those vibes are NOT it 😭

Also, your stepmom is fucking horrid. Staple her lips shut cause no! No one wants to hear about their parent and how they are in bed. And that man is almost in his 80s. I'm sorry but there is no way he's fucking anyone that good. He'd probs break a damn hip, be so for real right now. I'm actually so curious how "attractive" your dad is to be having a side chick at 78. Or is his side-girlfriend trying to get money too? Is the side-gf nice at least???? How old is she??

I have so many questions lol. Tell me the tea ☕️ (if you're comfortable of course, no pressure)

My stepdad is the absolute worst. Nothing pisses me off more than someone using religion to control people and cause harm but it seems more and more that that's the norm. Also like... she loves me because I'm her daughter. She chooses to love him. He won - can he stop this bullshit feud now? I'm tired of it. Having to deal with him and constantly be in survival mode, plus seeing how he mistreats my mom has absolutely fucked me in terms of my own romantic relationships. I have never had a relationship that lasted longer than a month cause if I see even one thing that reminds me of my stepdad, I'm gone. He completely messed up my sense of trust and I'm trying to work through it but its sooooo hard.

Also, he threatened to take me to court once cause I pissed him off. That's not relevant to anything other than to further show that he's an asshole lol

But yes, you can 100% always talk to me about this cause even just going through these messages was actually really cathartic. I don't have any siblings so anyone that I talk to about this really can't understand anything completely from my perspective so its nice to talk to someone who gets it.

JUNE CAN'T COME FAST ENOUGH. I'm so excited for the new episodes, I'm gonna be completely unbearable for a lot of people lmaooooo

Thank you, babesssss 😏 I'm glad you liked it! I'm proud to serve 🫡

[legalassistance]

5 Tips for Talking to Your Kids About Divorce

Divorce can be a challenging time for families, especially when it comes to discussing it with your children. As divorce attorney San Jose CA professionals, we understand the importance of navigating this conversation with sensitivity and clarity. Here are five essential tips to help you effectively communicate with your kids about divorce.

#1. Initiate the Conversation Early

Timing is crucial when it comes to discussing divorce with your children. It's essential to have the conversation early on, especially if they may already sense tension or changes within the family dynamic. By initiating the discussion proactively, you provide them with the opportunity to process their emotions and ask questions in a supportive environment.

#2. Be Honest and Age-Appropriate

When discussing divorce with your children, honesty is key. However, it's important to tailor the information based on their age and maturity level. Younger children may require simpler explanations, focusing on concepts like "Mommy and Daddy won't be living together anymore," while older children may benefit from more detailed discussions about the reasons behind the divorce.

#3. Listen and Validate Their Feelings

It's natural for children to experience a range of emotions when they learn about their parents' divorce. As parents, it's crucial to create a safe space where they feel heard and validated. Encourage them to express their feelings openly, whether it's sadness, anger, confusion, or fear. Let them know that their emotions are valid and that you're there to support them through this transition.

#4. Avoid Blame and Negative Language

During the conversation, it's essential to avoid placing blame or using negative language about your former spouse. Divorce is a complex issue, and assigning fault can create unnecessary conflict and resentment. Instead, focus on reassuring your children that both parents still love them and will continue to be involved in their lives, albeit in a different capacity.

#5. Provide Reassurance and Stability

Divorce often brings about feelings of uncertainty and upheaval for children. As parents, it's essential to provide reassurance and stability during this time of transition. Emphasize that while some things may change, such as living arrangements, routines, and traditions, your love and support for them remain unwavering. Establishing consistent communication and routines can help ease their anxiety and foster a sense of security.

Why Choose Us

At Affordable and Express Legal, we understand the sensitive nature of divorce proceedings, especially when children are involved. Here's why you can trust us to handle your case with compassion and expertise:

Experienced Divorce Attorneys: Our team comprises experienced divorce attorneys who specialize in family law, including child custody and support matters.

Personalized Approach: We understand that every family situation is unique, which is why we provide personalized legal guidance tailored to your specific needs and circumstances.

Compassionate Support: We prioritize compassionate client care and strive to alleviate the stress and uncertainty associated with divorce proceedings.

Transparent Communication: You can expect transparent communication and regular updates throughout the legal process, ensuring that you're informed every step of the way.

Dedicated Advocacy: Our attorneys are committed to advocating for your best interests and achieving favorable outcomes for you and your children.

conclusion

Talking to your kids about divorce requires sensitivity, honesty, and patience. By following these tips and providing ongoing love and support, you can help your children navigate this challenging time with resilience and strength. Remember, your actions and words during this period can have a profound impact on your children's emotional well-being and future relationships. Choose affordableandexpresslegal.com for reliable legal guidance and support in San Jose, CA.

Reference URL :- 5 Tips for Talking to Your Kids About Divorce

[jelibaen]

If you need to trim any of these answers down, please do. I dont know how much info you are looking for, but I feel like this is a good opportunity to put a lot of stuff plain and out in the open. For those of you curious about me and my sexuality, here you go.

1. I identify as nonbinary and aro/ace with an attraction to women.

2. I didn't realize I was ace until I was 18. I was a whole legal adult before I figured out that there was a word for how I felt. I can't remember exactly where or how I found out, but I do remember the relief of realizing that I was not, in fact, broken. There was a word for why I never properly felt like I had a crush, or why every romantic relationship I had felt forced and jagged. There was a word to explain me.

3. Everything around is based on relationships. The only rep I see around is what has been clawed into view by fellow LGBTQ+ people. Occasionally I will see stickers or little ace flags being sold in local shops. Otherwise everything else is... his and hers, or made for two people, or based on the idea that you're searching for a relationship. And that's fine if you have someone to share that with! But so much of every day life is hearing about dating and marriage and relationships that you can't really get away from it.

4. I struggled more trying to conform into being straight than I did when I figured out I was ace. It was literally like a fog lifted. Instead of wondering why I never understood what people meant about crushes or finding someone else cute or why everyone was so focused on dating and relationships, I had a definition for the lack of all of that. Instead of trying to find excuses to avoid being asked out, or explain why I didnt want to date, or try to find a non-offensive way to politely tell someone that I didnt want to kiss them... I could say it all in one word. It was freeing.

5. When I came out, all of my friends were extremely supportive, and still are! My grandparents were a little confused but got the idea and after a while understood that this was who I was, and that was fine.

It was a lot harder with my parents. The idea that their oldest daughter never wanted to get married or have children was painful. In their minds, I was going to die alone. My mom tried to understand. She did a little bit of looking things up in the beginning. Initially she asked the familiar questions like 'how do you know you dont like it if you havent tried it?'. I retorted back with a 'how do you know you're not gay if you've never tried it' and that seemed to make her.. not understand but I guess appreciate it more? I feel like since I came out as nonbinary to her, we have backpedaled a bit. Now we are back in square one of 'this isn't the child I thought I was raising'.

My father is... hard to get through to. It took a solid three years before he stopped fighting with me that I hadn't found the right person yet or that I didnt know until I tried it. Another two before he stopped arguing with me about needing a label and how it was shutting doors. He knows now that I do not want a relationship and if I ever do have one it will be with a woman, but he does not attempt to correct anybody else when they ask all the same questions. Ever. The last few years have been a landslide backwards with all the political bullshit that has come out and infected his brain. We don't talk about my sexuality anymore. I'm tired of expecting a change of mind and heart from someone who has failed to try every single time.

I have been out as aroace since 2015. The first and only time I have been told 'Happy Pride' by my parents is last year when my mom got me a rainbow heart scrub top. My father has yet to try saying something even remotely close.

6. This is such an easy answer. Yes. A thousand times yes. There's a saying that being queer is like being a zebra in a herd of horses. You go through life thinking you're just a fucked up horse until you see another zebra and realize there's more like you. If I had aroace characters in my childhood, maybe it wouldn't have taken 18 years to realize. Maybe I wouldn't have pushed myself into 3 relationships thinking I had to try to be 'normal' even if it didn't feel right. Maybe it would have been easier to come out to everyone by pointing to that character and saying 'Please look. They are just like me. This is normal.' There's no other answer. Just yes.

7. For those questioning: you dont have to get it right the first time. You can be straight, then bi, then gay, then ace, then realize that isnt quite right either. Its okay to try new things until you find what is right for you. Its okay to grow. Its okay to ask questions! My inbox is open. Talk to me.

For those that know but haven't come out: I know how this feels. Dont feel like you have to choose a label - labels are good, but if the word doesn't feel right, it might not be. You can be true to yourself even if you have to put on a mask for the rest of the world. Even so: dont force yourself into things if it isn't you. Dont force yourself into relationships or sex because that is expected of you. That will do more damage than you think. Be you with yourself.

For those that are out: I see you. I know you. In a modern society where our identity may not even be accepted by others that fall under the acronym, let alone those that don't, know you are not alone. We are important, we are valid, and we are real. There is more to life than romance and sex. Don't be afraid to be loud and be proud. We have every right to fly our flag as anyone else. But also: not everyone knows what aro or ace or both are. Learn not to be offended the first time someone asks what you mean. Sometimes they aren't being jerks: they genuinely don't know what 'asexual' is. Learn to be patient, offer knowledge, and expect nothing. Your identity is yours. You dont need someone else to validate you to appreciate yourself.

I know this got very long but this is something that has always been important to me. I know who I am, even if that's hidden from people around me. I understand myself, even if others dont.

Hi. My name is Jeli. I'm nonbinary, I use she/they pronouns, I'm aroace, and I'm very happy to meet you.

Hi it's Hampter and I got questions for aroace indivdials or aro and ace peoplle.

I am doing research project for school about rep for aroace people in the film industry but I would like some of everyone's opinions.

I can't use our aroace experience blog as a source because I didn't actually "interview" them. All quotes will be anonymous unless you give me a fake name that I can put down.

What do you identify as?

When did you figure out your sexuality?

What representation do you see in today's world concerning aroace individuals?

Did you struggle with coming to terms with your sexuality?

Did coming to terms with your sexuality hurt any aspects of your life? (Friends, family, relationships etc)

Do you think you would have benefited seeing characters in tv shows/movies growing up if they had aroace characters?

Is there anything you would like people to know about what being aroace means to you, or anything you would like to say about it?

You can answer all of them or some of them. You can DM me or reply in the comments.

Hugs!<3