#that way i change my eating habits into something a little more healthier | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

valley-of-headcanons · 2 months ago

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hiii!! so I’m actually the anon who requested those bold! farmer head canons for Harvey all that time ago! unfortunately, I’m still a harvey simp!!! (and I still love ur writing so much lol)

how about harvey with a farmer who just…. does not eat well. like, his microwave-dinner centered diet is significantly better than what farmer eats in a day lol. and sometimes they literally just eat snacks throughout the day with no proper food. not for any depressing reasons, mostly just laziness! and harvey is just…. politely horrified. (and progressively less polite about it the closer they get lmao.)

harvey x malnutritioned!farmer || headcanons

when harvey learns that the farmer lives off of snacks and not real meals, the doctor in him can't help but step in!

warnings: unhealthy eating habits, skipping meals, etc.

requested by: anon! hiya, thank you for requesting again! sorry it took so long! i hope you enjoy, i had a whole lot of fun writing! :)

• Your first check-up with Dr. Harvey was a simple one, he checked the normal boxes needed to be filled. He was a bit stern when learning about your eating habits. He inquired heavily, but he soon came to terms with it. Harvey was not keen on snacking throughout the day instead of eating a real meal to refuel, but he was a doctor, not your parent! So, he gave you a pamphlet on eating healthier and sent you on your way.

• Harvey was NOT pleased when you had passed out in the mines due to a lack of energy. You got a very stern talking to! “Please, do not jeopardize yourself like this! Your health is very important, and you have to have energy with your busy schedule! You can take time out of your day to have a full meal, no more snacking! You have to properly refuel your energy ... could I help you with making a meal plan? With nutritious food?”

• You tried your hardest to follow Harvey's meal plan, cooking for yourself or going to the Saloon if you were too tired to fix anything. You hated to admit it, but ... it worked. You were way more energetic, and you certainly did feel better! ... on days where you actually followed it. You were so busy, and time started slipping away from you ... you fell back into your old ways. And your now boyfriend Harvey was picking up on it.

• “Dear, I say this with all the love in my heart ... your eating habits scare me. No, terrify me. This is not a way to maintain your body! Please, start taking more care of yourself, love ... as much as I love having you in my office, I can't have you there for actually being sick from malnourishment. I know you're busy, but please set aside some time for simple self care ...”

• Harvey was set on helping you out, making a second lunch everyday just in case you stopped by the office. It was a daily ritual, and you had at least one full meal a day! Look at you go! Harvey had infiltrated your snacky lifestyle, but not fully. You were still skipping breakfast and even dinner some nights, you were just so busy. Things definitely changed when you married Harvey, though.

• The day Harvey moved in, you could tell he was a force to be reckoned with. Every morning, he'd be awake before you with a full breakfast made. He'd kiss you on the forehead before guiding you to the table, making sure you ate at least a little bit before heading out for the day. He was a very concerned husband!

• Harvey would also cook dinner. Now Harvey is not the most amazing cook in the world, sometimes he'd opt for TV dinners and boxed mac and cheese. But, he'd have something for you nonetheless! And if he didn't, that just meant date night at the Saloon! Even nights where you'd come home late, he'd have a note on the counter telling you there's food in the microwave. You'll also be lectured in the morning about staying out so late.

• Harvey is so in love with you, and he really wants to make sure you're happy and healthy. Your health is most important to him. Yes, he's the doctor for the whole town, but you're the love of his life. He's going to care for his spouse the best he can. And he will take care of you for as long as you'll have him.

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marabarl-and-marlbara · 5 months ago

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Hi Mara, do you think it’s at all possible to force oneself to enjoy things one usually doesn’t, or do you think it is like chirality and one’s “natural” interests and proclivities are not subject to change? I can’t help but feel stupid and like a liar to myself when trying to live healthier, or be productive and work on myself. It’s just fake, I don’t really care, and so the good habits never stick, but accepting myself for who I am, an empty lazy slob with no real interests, doesn’t feel too good either.

Hi anonymous, thank you for the opportunity for me to yap -- I haven't gotten a good opportunity in awhile :-))

'Naturalness' is weighty and ought not have much to do with the self outside of chirality (if you are approaching it from a Maraist standpoint): all that is, is not much more than confusing shadows that are manipulated by outside actors to stimulate you and draw you in-to the performance, to keep you engaged and connected--I wouldn't believe another person if they told me they a) believe this, and b) live in accordance to the belief of this, as the best way to depart from the actors and their game is to self-depart and un-live, and the dead do not weigh in on much cept soil and dirt.

WITHIN CONFUSION, when I'd been thinking about answering this initially I'd been thinking that I can barely relate to you, anonymous, as most of the 'need' to fake interests seems to be related wholly to connectiveness and those whom we find ourselves connected to, ie: faking acceptance of political issues that match the odorous vibe of the friend group when deep-down the thought needles and smarts, or: someone you care about showing you something that immediately makes you think this is the dumbest thing I have ever seen but I want this person in my life so I'll say something warm, or etcetera; connection itself is a long smear of the self (small and insignificant like a little mustard seed amongst grain) to bury it in a greater body such that the color and timbre is lost amongst the neighbors, as the self is made to become a neighbor, and the self itself is but an echo of the word trapt in fat and mud (or, on the other hand: an echo of the mud trapt in shrill songs and migraine colors); you are, by design, made to be subject to a Gravity and pressurized down away from heaven, and away from self--that is the natural-way;

WITHIN CONFUSION, and less unnecessarily esoteric and verbose and stupid: I don't really believe in 'fixing' yourself one way or the other; I eat the same yogurt concoctions every morning because I struggle thinking of a better temperature/texture combination, but I am getting tired of it--and if I were to extrapolate this out, I think of etiquette-breaks like 'psychiatric profiles' an attempt at suggesting that "Mara will, and forever will, be a breakfast yogurt-lover" though all my life I'd been held over a candle and slowly melted into a yogurt-lover-shaped mold and been made to set that way. The issue I had with struggling to relate is, because I'm fairly lonely and private lately, I do not really have much other than myself to compare my 'likes' and 'dislikes' to. It is very easy for me to not bother forcing myself on-to a dislike, because there aren't many Gravities to pressure me lately. But that isn't completely true; taking cold showers, for instance: hated this but kept up with it; waking up at 4am and cleaning the house and exercising for at-least an hour: hated this, but now it is just an excuse for me to listen to more Stephen King audiobooks before breakfast; morning prayer, same as the morning routine. For some things it really has just been truth to me that if you are forced to adjust, you will adjust--a person can not be passionate forever in their dislikes or hates, same way a honeymoon fades; what you love will become a tired routine (me and yogurt), what you hate will become a tired routine (me and waking up at 4am and jogging), but if you give yourself breaks eventually you allow those feelings to melt and recollect and be subject to passions and not-set as routine.

My failings, anonymous: me and drawing and writing--never been able to force myself to do these; I struggle with forcing myself to abide the word and forbid myself from listening to music completely; even though I have no problem with the vegan diet itself and had a pretty solid run with it: couldn't stop obsessing over "every-thing I hadn't yet tried" and death looming over my head (as it seemed) made the dietary sacrifices seem even more painful and pathetic and done wholly out of some forced desire to be Pure and Saintly (yet on the inside begging sin and dirt no better than a lunatic rat clawing at a cupboard). On food and diet, though: I used to be obese from middle-school to high-school and basically forced myself to exercise/diet pretty strictly out of (as you said) not liking myself as a slob--and I still am driven more-so out of a desire (fear) to not be fat, not be unhealthy, not be a slob, not be ugly--because I am scared of all of those things; it was easy enough to convince myself that eating more than 4 pieces of cereal for breakfast was a gluttonous amount of food and then slowly watch my hair fall out and lose the ability to stand from fatigue--somehow that was less scary than being fat. As well, there's just a mechanical motivation from being intensely sick from diet; if I eat the wrong thing or eat too much I end up bedridden for several days from migraines (the fear imposed from this makes it hard to seek-out trigger foods).

This part isn't even slightly helpful (likely the latter parts, too) but I think regarding diet and food specifically, it helps a lot being open to liking a lot of foods and shaking out what you think you dislike. I might be super privileged there because (although I have some preferences that I stick to ala yogurt for breakfast and wraps) I mostly do not dislike any food, and can only really think of disliking artichokes/brusselsprouts (I hear they're good if you fry them in oil but that is most things..) and badly prepared liver; I love veggies and fruits.

IN CONCLUSION, anonymous, I don't think any of this is particularly good advice and I think a better thing to analyze (than what I wrote) is what you wrote to me, how you refer to yourself, and how you're laying pitfalls for yourself. This world is made to bury you in gravity and lose you in soil, smeared under layer-after-layer of connection until you're convinced you are wax over a candle dripping down into some strange form, and those confusing shadows keep on whispering and whispering and then your mind is looking up out of a mold. Are you unable to force your likes to change? Are you someone who is unable to care about improving yourself? Do you really dislike being a slob? Who are you, anonymous?

To me: you are anonymous; take care, anonymous.

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scarareg · 1 year ago

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For OTP asks, for any of your favorite ship(s) from PJO/HOO:

4 5 16 21 22 32 34 36 39 (choose any which you find interesting (or) all!!)

Oh thank you, thank you thank you, I am so excited about this!

My OTP is percico!

4. Their favorite show to watch together?

Oh this is super fun because Percy would be eager to show Nico different shows from different decades and discover new ones together! Percy probably likes Brookly Nine-Nine and The Amazing World of Gumbal and Nico is a geek who may like darker stuff like Link Click, GOT/HOTD or Dark, maybe even Succession!

So, their fave shows to watch together may be something fun, but a little bit of mistery or drama or something along those lines. Maybe Hazbin Hotel, Barry, ATLA, Bluey and Breaking Bad. It would be adorable if both love Anne With An E too!

5. Who is the cheesier one of the two?

Percy!

16. Who hogs the covers?

Percy! Nico does not mind, but he pretends to just to tease Percy about it

21. Any routines one has that the other had to get used to (ex. morning, nighttime, sleeping habits)?

Percy is more of a morning person while Nico is the opposite, so they probably have discussed about it because Percy is trying to help Nico fix his sleeping schedule to be healthier. Nico would protest at first and feel like a zombie but he eventually get used to it. They agree for Nico stay up late on weekends!

Percy also makes sure Nico is eating properly.

After Tartarus and both having PTSD, I think both are a little messy, but would rely on each other to ground the other when they are having a hard time, a nightmare, panic attack, etc, and that will make them bond more

22. Love languages? How do they get around differences, if any?

Percy's are physical touch and words of affirmation; Nico's are quality time and acts of service.

Nico is probably learning to talk about his feelings, he may be awkward but honest about them; Percy appreciates him trying! Percy had to learn to read Nico's body language so he could be comfortable with his touch and not overdo it or overstep a boundary Nico is not ready yet

32. Who's so affectionate they can't stop touching the other?

Percy a million percent!

34. How do they cheer the other one up during sad times?

When Percy notices that Nico is sad, he sits next to him and tries to ask him what's up. Then he is his optimistic-self and starts listing all the good scenarios that can happen and how great everything will be and assures him that he will be by his side (and Hazel and Reyna too!) so he has nothing to worry about!

When Percy is sad Nico would try to talk with Percy and make him laugh , then would hug him and kiss the palm of his hand; he know Percy would appreciate the gestures, especially since it is a little weird for Nico to initiate physical contact

36. Who is more protective?

They are both equally protective but Percy is in more obvious ways, so everyone thinks it is him. For example, if someone is making mean comments about Nico behind his back, Percy would not stay still and would defend him.

Nico is subtle, like when he helped Percy to have the Curse of Achilles , or when he talked to Bob about Percy. He always has Percy's back but Percy would realized the things Nico did for him after a while

39. Do they get along with the other's family? If not, how do they deal with the other's family?

Percy gets along with Hazel and only Hazel. They probably hang out constantly and when Percy needs help with something related to Nico, she is the one he goes to for help.

Percy and Hades have beef so at the beginning Hades tried to convince Nico to change his mind, talk about guys who would be better suitors, or constantly ask if Nico is sure about his decision. Nico always shuts down his father's comments. After some time, when it was obvious that his son's relationship with Percy Jackson would last, he made peace with the idea, but privately he was still a bit grumpy about it. Low-key, he appreciates the way Percy treats his son and how happy he seems, but that is only something Persephone knows

At first, Nico is awkward around all of Percy's parents, even if they like him. Sally always welcome him and try to start conversation and Nico would answer but he was all polite, Sally thought he is adorable! After a while Nico starts to relax a bit and he and Sally have long afternoons filled with conversations and activities together; Sally made it her mission to teach everything a still-growing child needs to learn! Paul and he get along and have conversations about history and the past Nico missed and misses.

Poseidon does not mind Nico, he is just happy his fave son is happy. Nico has not interact a lot with him, but when he does he is respectful, just like he is with any other God.

Thank you so much for the ask! This was really,really fun! If you have any other specific ship you want me to answer questions about, I am all ears!

Send a ship + a number and get an answer.

#maygirlsposts #Percy Jackson #Nico di Angelo #PJO HOO #Percico #pjoverse #PJO #HOO #rrverse

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diaryofthatgirl111 · 2 years ago

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little ways to create a better you

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

Hi everyone! This is my first post with this account, and I am happy to help you guys become the best version of yourselves. Today, I’m sharing small habits to start doing in your life, which will help you become healthier and happier.

start your morning off correctly - when you wake up, try to get out bed as soon as possible - no more sitting on screens immediately in your bed

present mindset - did you make a mistake in your past or do something that you regret now? let go of your past experiences and accept yourself for who you are now. stop blaming and criticizing yourself, and change your mindset to be more present and positive when you feel those thoughts arising.

eat your meals - no one works their best when they are hungry, so its really important to be eating enough food to fuel you to be your best self. even when you are running late or don’t have time to make a big meal, try to take something with you to eat during the day.

achieve a morning/night routine - create a morning and night routine that will help you be more organized and productive. adding healthy habits into your routines will really help you feel better during the day.

exercise and daily movement - make sure to fit exercise into your week, whether it’s once a day or once a week. setting aside 10-30 minutes at any time of the week for exercise helps you feel so much happier and healthier, and makes your body stronger.

eating real + whole foods - not everyone will immediately be able to go from eating junk food to a committed vegan diet, and that is completely ok! everyday, try to add new healthy foods into your diet, and substitute unhealthy foods for healthier options.

read more books - reading books helps you become a smarter person, and is a great way to relax. setting a reading goal that is reasonable for you will help you learn to love reading, and is way healthier than scrolling on your phone.

go to sleep earlier - going to sleep late often is not healthy, and makes it really hard to get up early for school or work. trying to go to bed at a certain time everyday is super helpful, and will allow you to feel well rested in the morning.

express gratitude - be thankful for what you have while working for what you want. don’t wish for things to come to you in your life, work hard for them and attract them in your life.

keep your space clean - clean your house, clean your room, do your laundry, and make sure things around you are clean and organized. it’s true that an organized space = organized mind.

now become the best version of yourself! 🧘‍♀️🪴

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uncloseted · 9 months ago

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Idk if this is stupid to worry about but I'm 30 pounds overweight so I'm trying to lose those pounds to get to a healthy weight and change my eating and exercise habits. But I am worried because I don't want to be super thin looking, right now I actually like my proportions because I am curvier and I have bigger thighs and a butt. It would be nice to have a flat stomach obviously but I'm just nervous I'll lose the stuff I like about my body /:

I don't think this is stupid to worry about at all! Our bodies are a huge part of our identity and how we think of ourselves, so it makes a lot of sense that big changes to our bodies can make us feel uncomfortable or worried.

In terms of how your body will change, it will depend a little bit on your bone structure, how your body distributes fat, how much muscle you have, etc., but I think the unfortunate truth is that unless you're paying for cosmetic procedures to make your body look a certain way, there will probably be some things about how you look that you wish were different. Even for people who do pay a lot of money to look a certain way, this is often the case, which is how they get stuck in this cycle of making "just one more" tweak to their appearance. If you lose 30 pounds, yeah, your thighs and butt will probably get smaller. It's unlikely that you'll look super thin, since I think that's something that usually comes with being under a healthy weight, but you'll probably look smaller all around. And that's to be expected, because when we lose weight, our bodies lose fat from all over. If you do want to maintain how your butt and thighs look, it may help to focus on building muscle in those areas, since the muscle will help those areas to look bigger and that's something you can specifically target through exercise.

But in general, I would try to remind yourself that you're not trying to lose weight to look a certain way. You're trying to lose weight to have a healthier body. So regardless of what your body looks like, if it feels better, you've succeeded in what you were trying to do. Shifting the focus away from what your body looks like and redirecting it to what your body can do can be helpful in feeling more neutral about how your body looks.

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cleverhottubmiracle · 1 month ago

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Christina Aguilera has always been a force to be reckoned with, captivating audiences with her powerhouse vocals. But in recent years, the pop icon has turned the spotlight onto something more personal: her journey to self-acceptance, confidence and balanced health. The singer, now 44, has opened up about everything from her struggles with body image to the empowering mindset and healthy habits she’s adopted today. Here’s a look at Christina Aguilera’s weight loss and health journey, plus what you can learn from her experience. Aguilera struggled with her body image Entering the entertainment industry as a teenager wasn’t easy for Aguilera, who burst onto the scene with her 1999 hit Genie in a Bottle. “When you’re a teenager, you have a very different body than when you’re in your 20s,” she told Glamour in 2024. “I started to fill out, and then that was unacceptable because it was like, ‘Oh, she’s getting thicker.’ Then I had industry people telling me, ‘They liked your body and how you were as a skinny teenager.’” Aguilera revealed that much of her self-esteem at the time was based on how thin she was. “I hated being super skinny. Once I turned 21, I started filling out a little bit, and I was loving my new curves,” she shared in a Health story in 2021, according to People. However, societal and industry expectations made it difficult to celebrate her natural body changes. How she embraced self-acceptance In recent years, Aguilera has made peace with her body and shifted her focus from external validation to inner strength. “I have a maturity now where I just don’t give a f— about your opinion,” she told Glamour. “It must be your responsibility to take up your space. Other people’s opinions of me are not my business.” She recently reflected on her evolving relationship with her body with her fans. “Acceptance comes with accepting yourself first,” she wrote in a December 2024 Instagram post. “I celebrate everyone taking the time to put one step in front of the next every day in order to build the next version of themselves for the better.” Cultivating self-acceptance is key to a healthier mindset. “Self-love isn’t just about our appearance—it’s about embracing the person we are becoming,” says Jennifer Habashy, NMD, MS, Assistant Medical Director at Claya. For women in midlife, physical changes and weight gain can trigger feelings of negative body image. But Dr. Habashy encourages us to view this period as an opportunity to prioritize our health. “One way to cultivate self-love is by focusing on what your body can do rather than how it looks,” she adds. Whether by celebrating small wins, like having more energy throughout the day, or starting a gratitude journal, you can set goals that “go beyond the scale.” Did Christina Aguilera use Ozempic for weight loss? While her weight has fluctuated throughout the years, Aguilera recently made headlines for a purported 40-lb weight loss. In May 2024, social media buzzed with speculation that Aguilera might be using Ozempic, a medication FDA-approved for type 2 diabetes that’s been used off-label for weight loss. She hasn’t commented on these rumors. For anyone considering similar treatments, always consult with a healthcare provider first. While these medications may aid weight loss, they’re not a quick fix. Rather, they best work within a comprehensive plan involving diet and exercise. Christina Aguilera’s balanced approach to diet and weight loss When it comes to nutrition, Aguilera reportedly tried the 7-Day Color Diet at one point. This eating plan focuses on eating different colors of food each day of the week, along with staples like eggs, chicken, milk and cheese. “Choosing foods with different colors means both obtaining a variety of important vitamins, antioxidants and other health-promoting compounds as well as having a diet generally rich in vegetables and fruits and the fiber that goes with them,” says Alexander Watson, MD, Founder of Admire Medical. “If one combines the diet with adequate protein, roughly 100 grams per day for women, it can help maximize fat loss and minimize muscle mass loss.” However, Aguilera’s perspective on food has since shifted to a more intuitive approach. “I no longer diet,” Christina told L’Officiel in 2020, sharing that she prioritizes whole foods instead. This aligns with intuitive eating, a philosophy that encourages people to listen to their body’s hunger and fullness cues rather than following restrictive diets. Dr. Habashy advises, “Enjoy colorful, nutrient-rich meals that fuel your health while still allowing yourself to enjoy your favorite indulgences.” The fitness routine that helped Christina Aguilera lose weight Fitness has also significantly impacted Aguilera’s health journey and recent weight loss. After giving birth to her son, Max, the singer’s trainer shared insights into her workouts. These included a mix of strength training, intervals and cardio. Aguilera reportedly enjoys lifting heavy weights, jumping rope, stair climbing and even boxing. “Incorporating adequate physical activity is critical for weight maintenance,” says Dr. Watson. He notes that strength training, in particular, supports healthy aging: “Resistance training is the only way we are able to actually increase bone density after our 30s.” Having a variety of workouts you enjoy has other benefits. “A varied routine prevents plateaus by keeping your metabolism engaged and promoting steady progress, as the body adapts quickly to repetitive exercises,” says Dr. Habashy. Plus, switching between them keeps your routine exciting, preventing future burnout. “For women balancing busy lives, workouts don’t need to be complicated,” she adds. “Even a brisk walk paired with light strength training can yield impressive results over time. The key is consistency and making movement a joyful part of your day.” This content is not a substitute for professional medical advice or diagnosis. Always consult your physician before pursuing any treatment plan. Source link

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norajworld · 1 month ago

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sweetswesf · 3 months ago

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Thanksgiving & Colleague Date

Despite my grandparents not even being able to walk without canes, they had to cook Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving has not been enjoyable since high school for me. At a certain point, I became conscious to how glutenous Thanksgiving made me feel. On top of that, i just really hate not feeling great after the high fat and sodium. On top of THAT, my mom isn’t the main cook ever since my parents split and her replacement cooks, my paternal grandparents, my father, my maternal aunt, just do a bad job. The food is actually bad and there are few things I don’t think taste good.

This year, while I appreciate a hot home-cooked meal, the dressing was NOT done, the turkey was not good, the rolls were burnt, the greens were overcooked, no mac, etc. My dad said my grandmother was literally vomiting so hard the morning of Thanksgiving that they were not even sure it was going to be cooked. My grandfather literally had to sit on a stool to cook. When I walked in the door when I arrived from the airport, before I even put my bags down, my grandfather asked for help. I figured they would require more help this year, but I just vote for us not doing it and going out or ordering the food in. They always overcook too. I know because I cleaned and put everything up. I’m not even sure they enjoy it. 2 days after Thanksgiving, fridge still full of leftovers, they bought KFC and fried catfish.

My mom’s side did the takeout thing one year, and I loved it! Thai. Nice and easy. No clean up. It was cheaper and actually tasty. We even did Shabu Shabu that year. I even invited the girl that I told yall called me cheap after I didn’t pay her for the Coachella stay 🥴. But now my aunt has gone back to cooking traditional Thanksgiving and I really don’t enjoy her cooking.

I can be grateful for a meal but still want us all to save money, eat healthier, have something we all enjoy, and save time. 🤷🏾‍♀️. If the tradition no longer is working, let’s change it…

I eat it not because I want to but because I just really don’t want to hear anyone’s mouth.

I get thrown off my healthy eating habits. I made a trip to Sprouts and had to hide my food in the outside garage.

I didn’t spend the night of my mother’s. I thought I would have a convo with her about how I feel hurt by them still not holding my brother accountable for all these years of blaming me for why we don’t talk and them believing him, then him confessing that it was him all along and him saying that I was only trying to help and wanted the best for him. He avoids me whenever I am in town and for the longest, everyone thought it was me despite me telling them it wasn’t, but because we each have had our disagreements (which involved me holding them accountable for ways they hurt me and them not wanting to hear it) they believed him, even though I felt they knew it wasn’t the truth. Them believing him would require them to face how I was right when I held them accountable for the things I called them out for in treatment of me.

My little brother has always been distant from me. I didn’t like that my mother babied him and seemed to be disgusted by any physical affection like hugs or laying next to each other on the couch that I craved from her. She admitted she has always had a problem with physical affection. She isn’t a very hug-y person even to this day. Anyway, back to him, I always wanted to help my little brother navigate every step of life and he just would not let me. He admitted to my parents that although we never said explicitly, he felt implicitly that he had to do just as good if not better than me. I was a very high achiever, but I was just trying to ensure that I didn’t go hungry, because this world can be crude cruel and the competition is stiff. I wanted to help him navigate and learn from the mistakes I made. But he was so intimidated that he just shut me out. He had to sell his narrative so he went so far as to block my phone number. He went through all of school and even grad school without telling me. Everyone, even peers and family members though, say they didn’t think he liked them because he is very anti-social and oftentimes rude. He’s never been required to develop certain social skills. And my family has never required him to do right by me. Every time I come down to visit, he will go to the other parent’s house to avoid me. I know almost nothing about the guy and can count on my hands how many conversations we have had.

My mom didn’t want to talk to him and hold him accountable and she wanted me to sleep in the closet where he used to sleep while he sleeps in the bed during my visit for Thanksgiving. I said absolutely not. If I were married, they would never ask this. I mentioned this in my last post, but mentioning it again for reference. Anyway, I felt bad.

When I hung out with my mom, I thought we would talk about this or Cynthia and not seeing Wicked. She had an attitude when I got in the car, as I assumed she would. I didn’t even match her energy. I just fake smiles. I know how my family treats me and I know I can go to refuge back in the South Bay, so I just tolerate it for some time.

I set up a cooking class for us and saw a friend from high school there. It was a fun class and I finally got to make cavatelli with the paddle thing AND orchetti. Class was half white and half black and the teacher spoke down to the Black women. Meanwhile, I’ve lived in Milan and studied and spoke the language fluently for years, but I didn’t say nothing. Teacher was shocked at how good my orchetti was shaped and asked, shocked, “You did that?!” 🙄

Anyway, my mom was in such a rush at the end. I couldn’t sit and enjoy. It’s like she’s checked out. We talk and have convos, but sometimes I know her mind is running and she can’t be present…she had finished her meal but I hadn’t finished mine but she was urging me to finish…

Went to a bar with my colleague that I have a crush on but he has a gf. Ever since knowing, I’ve been trying to convince myself I’m not attracted to him. I definitely don’t intend on involving myself with him, but he’s attractive. He told me to let him know the next time I was down in LA. I was down for my reunion and completely forgot to tell him. That’s how much I have been trying to distance myself. I even have thought of canceling our biweekly 1:1s, because I don’t need more opportunities to fall further. It’s hard for me to just be friends with men I find attractive and they haven’t introduced to me to their significant others.

Well, I found myself talking about how I came down for my reunion a few weeks ago and he called out I didn’t tell him and I felt bad for forgetting, so the next time, which was this weekend, I kept my word. He picked a hipster (wow, no one uses this word anymore…) outdoor pastrami spot. At first I thought, “Eww, what does he think of me? Cheap!?” I showed up and it was really cute! Romantic! Frequented by grown and classy Black folks.

Before arriving, I pushed us back TWICE to 8 from our originally planned 7. He handled it well every time. Even said, “If you get hungry, there’s a pastrami spot nearby.” He’s a lot of what I’m looking for in a partner. But, I’m not going to lie. I felt really bad about going knowing how I feel and knowing he has a partner, on a Saturday night in what was an intimate-feeling bar. Drinks were wack, but definitely a date night bar. Nonetheless, I looked cute, smelled great, crapped, showered, and shaved before, and took a nice Comfort Uber over. Even wore some heels!

I didn’t know how to act or be. If I know the person is interested, a different me comes out. The setting gave date, but we are most certainly colleagues. I wasn’t trying to mess anything up in terms of our working relationship, even though I don’t imagine we will work together closely at our current place of work ever since I moved teams, but he IS thinking of transferring to my group soon…

I imagined it slightly tending towards a romantic convo, and imagined we’d get pretty deep. One of those was true…

We talked from 8 till 11:30. We got deep into our parents’ relationships, high school, LA, why I’m still in the Bay, 2025 goals, entrepreneurship aspirations, concerts, Drake & Kendrick’s feud, and exchanged trip photos and stories from our separate trips to Japan. Here’s where I got into my ethnic identity, how my maternal grandparents came about, how my Japanese family asked me via a note as I was leaving on the train if my maternal grandmother had been abused 🥴.

There was a point where we both got a little buzzed, me I feel more so than him, because it takes NOTHING to get my tipsy these days. And I’m a fun buzzed. I’m already a pretty free spirit and lover of life, but I just get even more friendly. And I care less than I already do about how I look or what I say. My filter I feel can get in the way of me speaking clearly. I don’t drink to get drunk. In fact, after that night, I vowed to try to be more sober and give up alcohol altogether. It’s doing more harm than good at this point. My skin hasn’t been improving and alcohol doesn’t help it, and I need all the youth I can get given the lack of sleep I get on the reg.

There was no funny business. No convos about sex. He mentioned his girlfriend and I FINALLY got to see pics of her. OF COURSE I compared us! We look similar, as I expected, because he said she was Ethiopian. Someone asks me every day if I’m Habesha, since I was a kid. Ain’t no “better”. We both beautiful in our own ways.

He paid for everything. His gf picked him up. I had to ask to meet her. He seemed a bit reluctant when I asked. He never said no, just, it was a hesitant, “Sure.” Weird.

I hung outside her car, tipsy af because I had been drinking more than usual that day (and started with the cooking class as early as noon! on little sleep and food; maybe this is why he was reluctant to say yes to me meeting her). I shook her hand, told her she was gorgeous and how I had heard a lot about her. She definitely seems warm and a great socializer. I’m a little more rough around the edges, I feel…She offered me a ride home, and I may have obliged sober, but my true feelings came out a bit and thanked her kindly but said my Uber was here. Girl, it’s weird enough! Take me out of my misery and let me go home tipsy solo…again…

I felt I needed to push past the fear of not asking and ask to meet her for girl code purposes. How trash would it look that she’s literally right there and I don’t speak when I’ve just spoken to her pretty serious boyfriend for HOURS alone at night and she ain’t never met me…

I asked him via text that night how much I owed him and he said I didn’t owe him anything but that the next round’s on me in the Bay. He’ll be there next week. Why didn’t he just invite his gf and make it a friend thing where I could have invited people too, especially if she was going to pick him up anyway? She probably dropped him off too.

Hopefully I’m doing a good job at masking how I feel and he’s not doing all this knowing how I feel, cause that would be cruel. I don’t like that and wouldn’t want my boyfriend going to bars with women late night and having me pick them up afterwards. I felt weird accepting the invitation to go out but didn’t want to make it weird by saying no. Some people are very secure with their relationships. Many people are also swingers, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t expecting him to ask me so I could SHUT HIM DOWN but be flattered by the proposition…Maybe I’m a little scarred and used to married men acting single, but idk, we ain’t tight like that to need to go to a bar together on a Saturday night when he has something going on feels weird to me. I want to ask him what he thinks I think of him. I’m not sure if it’s a leading question. I kinda want to joking be like, “Your gf let you be out with female friends she ain’t met?,” and “What did you think of me asking to meet her…” Let me know in the comments how ya’ll feel and how yall think I should address it.

Idk…he won some points and lost some…won for being a gentleman…lost also for being a gentleman 😅. Although he has good qualities, I would never want him. He’s officially marked himself as friend forever, because I would never approve of him doing this if we were together. No. You not finna embarrass me like that. That girl don’t have to endure that either. Am I tripping y’all??

Before I left home to come back to the Bay, I had some alone time with my grandfather. He said, “Before I die, I would love to see you and your brother getting along again.” I love my grandfather, but told him that was unfair. I pleaded my side and shared how offended I was that after all these years, the onus to salvage the relationship seems to be on me despite the hurt I’ve endured and the attempts I’ve made (that I didn’t have to) to mend our relationship. I also called out that they never hold my brother to the same standard. He wasn’t fully convinced. I told my mom in person when we hung out I would come over for Christmas, but almost immediately after, and ESPECIALLY after my convo with my grandfather, I felt I needed to stick to caring for myself and I did that with this:

On my way out the door to head to the airport, I poked my eye with a hanger. I felt it was for getting really passionate and not listening to my grandfather. I felt it was God humbling me, and reminding me, that I have a great opportunity with work, and I could have ended it by poking my eye out because I was rushing to get in the closet in that hoarding house. I need to be more grateful and be a better steward of my blessings. Give more. Be on time. Eat right. Stop drinking to get closer to men that really don’t care about me like that…

I felt really bad after the date…in fact, really bad that nothing had happened…not gonna like. Like, I was glad we can remain friends, but also I didn’t trust that his intentions are pure and I felt like he needed a who boost, because I’ve been that for dudes before, unbeknownst to me…

I analyzed all the ways in which I have done that to other guys, but I haven’t done that in very long. Maybe it’s still my past, but, I’ve matured past that now.

I always leave home happy to get back to the Bay. My thoughts this time are, I don’t know where I fully want or need to be, but I FEEL like God wants me here in the Bay. Even the sermon at church today mentioned not moving until God says so and making new places home. Perhaps the Bay is that. I’ve fought living here for so long, but I love what it’s made me, the opportunities it’s afforded me, and I think the possibilities for my career will be optimal here, but I also wonder if NY will nurture the other sides of me: closer to my friends there, potential spouse and experiences out there…and it may be great given that the company I envision me selling my app to is in NY…but I’m not there yet, and despite friends from LA and NY asking me where I’m going to go and how I should go to their respective city, I don’t hear a resounding, “You should stay…” That voice is quieter in agreeance with me when I respond, “I don’t mind the Bay though…,” but it be there…Shoot, even the poll I did on this blog said I should move to LA LOL.

I’m still digging for gold to change our lives and the lives of so many other people. I’m in it for the long run. I see the vision. Everything I’ve done so far has been working out the vision God placed before me. I just have to stay prayed up so that I remain inline with his purpose for me. He plants the desires in my heart but he also grants me a lot of the desires I have too, that may or may not have come from Him. Just trying to figure it out. I’m grateful to you, Lord and ask you to keep guiding my steps.

I told my mom about the date and how uncomfortable I felt, and she suggested the next one with him should be with friends. I agree. Boy you know how I feel. Stop playing with me…and stop playing with your girlfriend (who he interchangeably calls his partner…no, sir…you don’t get to call her that until she’s at least your fiance, right?…maybe he’s wishful thinking). Maybe next time I will ask if he plans to marry her, but that also ain’t my business. See, I don’t know what is and what isn’t appropriate just yet. Cause if we was friends, I would, but if we was friends, I would have already met her before we did a solo meet up :/

A little extra for yall while I’m on this plane (which I’m finding to be one of my favorite places to right):

Before heading home for Thanksgiving, the dude I took out for his birthday who I had raw sex with carelessly after the dinner hit me. The last time we spoke was via text. He canceled on me and said he just wanted to go home and that he had to cancel because he didn’t want me to feel bad if he was feeling down in my presence and not in the mood. Given we had had sex, have known each other for over 18 years, talked about everything over dinner, for him to not share vaguely why, or even want to LIE, made me think it was about me. I told him it was cool. He then texted me a couple times after that to see if I had made it home safe to no response from me. I had already deaded the thought of investing more in that whatever weird situationship. I had even deleted his number, but I guess I didn’t block him, because when I got a random text the day before Thanksgiving from an unsaved LA number that read, “Do you do this regularly, or just to me?,” I thought it was spam. When I looked to see the message history, I concluded, “Oh he misses me 😏😏😏,” which felt great given how I’ve been on the horrible end of heartbreak, then, “How should I respond, because this sounds angry, but I don’t want to fuel the fire?”

I called him and started playfully with, ��[His name]…let’s talk…“

I tried to talk, but it felt like I was thrown back to days when I argued with my Mom and Dad. I had even started cursing and screaming at one point. I’m sure my neighbors loved it…

I spoke my peace, told him I had stopped responding because I figured it was about me and that I hadn’t been seeing the things I expect from guys I want to pursue: he didn’t cuddle with me after sex, he was pretty transparent about everything BUT why he couldn’t come over. His argument was that I shouldn’t assume, but he still didn’t want to tell me the real reason or even lie, and I told him that. I even took it back to high school and said he’s never asked me to be his girlfriend. A man don’t stop at nothing if he want you to be his girlfriend, but he will play with you when he just want something from you. And this is what he was doing. He wanted me to just believe him face value. He kept telling me what I should do and I had to quickly remind him, I ain’t the same person from high school and he don’t have the same hold over me. I’m not insecure and he ain’t gave me anything to be talking out his neck. I reminded him, if I believed everything everyone said, I’d be in a worse position than I am today, but I’m doing damn good and have done pretty good without his suggestions thus far and don’t see his suggestions having that much impact on me. I respect him for trying, but his ego is WAYY too big to hear me. I was trying to teach him how conversations like this should go, but it’s not effective to teach while the test is being given. He was throwing low blow jabs, telling me I should heal from past traumas, meanwhile, he ain’t in a place to have any opinion on any of that. I told him we definitely hopped in the bed way too soon as we have no real trust established…I spared him the “and we’re not married.” He did hear me out. I had like a multi-minute monologue where I told him I was being very vulnerable and to be careful with how he responds, and when we came off of mute, it was horrible. We were already on the phone for over an hour at that point. There was no use in even taking it this far. I had threatened to get off the phone a few times, and when he would go silent, I knew he didn’t want to just end it there. I appreciated he was invested, but he wasn’t listening as he should have been. I asked him to kinda retell what I let my heart out to him about to ensure we’re on the same page which would also give me the chance to clear up anything I perhaps did not convey right. He took it as me bossing him around and he didn’t want to do it. Not even a little bit. So at that point, I figured, I don’t need to be his teacher in this. We don’t have much invested in one another. With my mom and dad, I had to struggle through, but I had already mentally been okay with not continuing this situationship with this dude, so finally I said I had had enough and told him talk to you later and actually blocked him this time.

I ain’t even mention I had to take a Plan B after the night with him 🙄. I’m grateful I have the means and recognize a lot of people don’t and end up with responsibilities with people they didn’t ask for for the rest of their lives…

Why people keep messing with me?

I cried in the shower a few weeks ago just overwhelmed a bit. Felt a bit lonely. Wanted to be in a relationship. Sad that dudes keep breaking my heart. Sad I keep falling for the same okie doke and doing things I know will have an unfavorable outcome. Sad my family has not always made living away easy. All I have been trying to do is get ahead and the main stressor has sometimes been them. I love them though, and I know God is teaching me something from it all.

I want to stop complaining.

I also ran into 4 other people I knew in one day from grade school. One even from elementary school. One of which was my high school English teacher. It was in her class from one of her prompts that I put on paper for the first time the struggles I had with my mother and how I struggled with not feeling seen sometimes since we have different phenotypes. I needed a strong Black woman in the household reminding my of how beautiful my hair was and how beautiful it was to be a Black woman specifically, and I don’t think I was quite getting that. Anyway, I remained her she was like royalty to me and I thanked her for everything she taught me. Yall have her to thank partially for this blog since she honed my skill for and love of writing.

I’ve been thinking…I hope ya’ll know I know that I’m not a perfect Christian and that I want to represent Jesus better. I have to get better at that…

I didn’t finish all that I wanted to for work, but I’m dedicating myself to get back on track. Year ain’t over yet…

Yall be blessed…

#software engineering #silicon valley #coding #black in tech #codeblr #thanksgiving

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drvitaltips · 11 months ago

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Staying Vibrant: Your Guide to Thriving as You Age

Picture this: You're in your 60s, 70s, or even beyond, but you feel energized, strong, and excited for each new day. That's the beauty of healthy aging! It's not just about the number of candles on your birthday cake – it's about living your best life at every stage. So, ready to boost your well-being? Here's how!

Get Moving, Feel Amazing: The Benefits of Exercise We all know exercise is good for us, right? But it gets even MORE important as we get older. Here's why regular movement is your best friend: - Move More, Feel Better: Our bodies were designed to be active! Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate stuff – brisk walking, swimming, a fun dance class – most days of the week. The trick is finding something you actually LIKE doing! - Strength is Key: Don't forget to work those muscles a couple of times a week. Lifting weights, using resistance bands, even just bodyweight exercises (think squats or lunges) all help keep you strong and independent. - Don't Forget Your Balance: Falls can be a worry as we age, but simple exercises can make a huge difference. Yoga, tai chi, or even just practicing balancing on one leg while brushing your teeth are awesome for this. Fuel Your Body Right: Food as Your Ally Remember that old saying "you are what you eat"? It gets so true the older we get! The right foods give your body what it needs to really thrive. Here's how to make your meals work for you: - Eat a Rainbow: Pile on the colorful fruits and veggies! These are packed with good stuff like vitamins, minerals, and fiber that keep everything in your body working smoothly. - Whole Grains for the Win: Ditch refined grains like white bread or pasta and go for whole-wheat bread, brown rice, quinoa, and oats. These digest more slowly, keeping you full and energized. - Protein Power: Include lean protein in your meals – think fish, chicken, beans, lentils. Protein is crucial for your body to repair itself and stay strong. - Hydration is Key: Don't underestimate the power of plain ol' water! It helps with digestion, regulates your temperature... basically, it keeps you running right. Aim for eight glasses a day, but more if you're active or it's hot out. A Healthy Mind = A Healthy You Okay, so your body is important, but let's not forget your mental health! Taking care of your mind is just as crucial for feeling your best as you age. - Challenge that Brain: Our brains love to be kept on their toes! Do crossword puzzles, learn a new language, play word games, take an online course... Anything that gets those neurons firing! - Connection is Medicine: Staying social is HUGE for your mental (and physical) well-being. Grab coffee with a friend, volunteer in your community, join a book club – find those connections that light you up. - Stress Happens, But Don't Let it Stick: Too much stress is terrible for your body and mind. Find ways to unwind that work for you – maybe a walk in nature, meditation, a chill bath, or listening to your favorite music. - Sleep: Your Repair Crew: When you're well-rested, everything just works better. Shoot for 7-8 hours of good sleep each night to recharge those batteries. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KD-FmeueFUo The Importance of Experience: A Personal Story You know, sometimes we hear phrases like "healthy aging" so often they start to lose their meaning. I used to feel that way, but then something changed. A few years ago, someone close to me wasn't taking care of themselves – and it had pretty rough consequences. Seeing that made me realize just how important our health is. Reflecting on the moments I'd neglected my good habits—excessive takeout, insufficient exercise—prompted a commitment to healthier living. The results? Undeniable. Enhanced energy, improved mood; the benefits were clearly cumulative. Pushing My Limits Want some inspiration? Even though I'm in my mid-50s, a few years back I decided to do something a little crazy – hike the Appalachian Trail. We're talking over 2,000 miles of tough mountain terrain! It wasn't easy, but it was an amazing reminder that our bodies are capable of incredible things at any age. Tips for the Journey So, let's get down to it – what can you do if you're interested in healthier aging like me? Here's what I've learned: - Small steps, big changes: You don't have to become an extreme athlete all at once. Start with things like taking a walk most days or swapping fries with a side salad. - Listen to your body: It'll let you know when you're doing well, and when to take a break. - Find what you enjoy: Exercise should be fun! Try dancing, swimming, biking...find what gets you moving. - Good food is fuel: Focus on whole foods like veggies, fruits, and lean protein. Check out websites like ChooseMyPlate for ideas: https://www.myplate.gov/. And remember... "It's never too late to be what you might have been." George Eliot FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions) About Aging Well Q: I'm totally out of shape. Where do I even start with exercise? A: That's totally normal! Start small, like a 10-minute walk a few times a day, and gradually add more time and intensity. Even little bits of movement help! Q: I find healthy food boring, or I don't know what to cook. Help! A: Tons of simple, tasty, healthy recipes exist! Check Pinterest or websites focused on healthy eating. Experiment with seasonings and try new things! Q: How do I keep myself motivated to stay active? A: Find exercise you enjoy, set small goals to start with, and maybe even find a workout buddy to keep you accountable. Track your progress and celebrate those wins! Key Takeaways - Exercise is non-negotiable: Make some form of regular movement a priority for physical and mental health. - Focus on whole foods: Your body will thank you for all those nutrients! - Your mind matters: Stress less, nurture your brain, and stay connected. - It's a journey, not a sprint: Be patient and consistent for long-lasting results. Myths and Facts about Aging Myth: Once you're old, everything goes downhill. Fact: While our bodies change, healthy aging is totally possible! Lifestyle choices make a huge difference in how you feel and function. Myth: It's too late to start healthy habits after a certain age. Fact: Nope! You can make meaningful changes to your health at any stage of life. Myth: Eating healthy means bland food. Fact: Absolutely not! Explore flavorful spices, fresh ingredients, and new recipes – there's a whole world of delicious and healthy food out there. A Little Extra to Help You Thrive - Talk to Your Doctor: Always a good idea before starting a new exercise program or making big changes to your diet. They can tailor advice to your needs. - Try a Fitness Class: You'll get guidance, motivation, and maybe even make some new friends! - Tech Makes it Easier: Fitness trackers, health apps, and online support groups can be awesome tools. - Don't Give Up! Some days will be harder than others, that's part of being human. Keep going, be patient, and celebrate your wins! "To keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear." Buddha

Conclusion Healthy aging isn't about the number on your driver's license. It's about choices – how you move, how you eat, how you care for yourself along the way. Embrace the journey, make those positive changes, and create a vibrant, fulfilling life at any age. Because you absolutely deserve it! Let me know if you have any other questions! Disclaimer: The information provided on this website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making any decisions about your health. Read the full article

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thehumanexperience8b · 1 year ago

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March 19th, 2024: Free Will Part II

On the topic of free will, I wanted to mention something I learned that might help some younger (and older) folk feel more in control of their lives. I was trying to help a friend and I thought I might write a bit too. She also advised me to split up my paragraphs so they’re easier to read, which I hadn’t thought of, so thank you, @sstarbritee

I believe another thing that causes harm in people’s lives is misdirection. People lack control in their lives. Always working, going to school, even getting out of bed; then they stop and think: “Why? Why am I doing this endlessly?” Remember what you’re working for. If you don’t know, rethink some things. But you don’t have to quit everything if you don’t know yet, you can just let life drift you away, go on an adventure and see where it takes you. But in the meantime, there’s some smaller things you can think about that will also be impactful to you. Everyone wants more fun in their lives, right? Sort of like how discovering the meaning of a song can get you to like it more. I thought Mr. Crowley by Ozzy Osborne sounded better when I learned it was about Aleister Crowley. (Yes, it’s obvious but I didn’t know who Aleister Crowley was before!) Remember to fill yourself with optimism about these thoughts. Oftentimes, discovering what you believe can make you feel some sour emotions too, or bittersweet. You can choose to diverge onto either path, learning about issues in the world, things that interest you, or deciding you don’t need those extra steps in your life. Either way is just fine, and both tell you a little more about yourself.

Why do you want to learn more about yourself? Well remember that you’re your own best friend, and you’d want to know lots of things about your bestest friend. Understanding yourself comes with lots of perks, such as feeling more in control of your life, having more confidence, feeling more valuable, becoming part of a group, and making a difference to someone or the world. Always stay curious! Curiosity and asking questions is how we become wise. Here are some things that I was curious about that helped me discover myself:

I was interested in learning about factory farming so I watched Dominion and became enticed by helping stop inhumane animal farming practices.

Because of my love for bunnies I learned about animal testing, so I became anti-animal experimentation and now try to buy animal test free products.

I love the Earth so I learned about climate change, and decided to help by thrifting instead of buying new, purchasing biodegradable products, and picking up litter.

I took political quizzes over the years in school and discovered I’m “left-wing” labeled.

I didn’t feel connected to Christianity so I took the time to learn and find a religion that works for me.

I wanted to take care of myself and feel healthier so I took time to understand my nutritional needs and I eat more fruits and vegetables now.

Not only did I learn those things, but I learned more about my personality and who I am. I’m headstrong and opinionated, I’m curious, not argumentative (I’ve been told!). I protest, I love nature, and I believe one individual can make a difference. Please take some time to work towards your higher self, that makes life so much more meaningful. Do it for yourself. People spend too much time with bad habits or unhappy lives and by the time they realize they could have changed it, something big has hit them. Your time is valuable, don’t wait until you're on your deathbed to discover life! But also, keep in mind that it’s okay to be wrong, and it’s okay to change too. Personality isn’t based on how you feel about a controversial subject, or what your diet is like; rather what you become from taking the time to discover those things. Our opinions are flexible and information is ever-changing, don’t be stuck in your ways! Progression is key!

#stuff #free will #manifest #peace #love

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beddhead-red · 1 year ago

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I feel like the biggest piece of advice I feel like everyone needs to hear is "don't let failure discourage you".

Like, yeah, that's an obvious thing, but it's not obvious how to actually implement it, or how not implementing it can affect you. One of the simplest ways i can explain this is fitness.

I know, this is somewhat controversial for a bevy of reasons, but if you want to be more physically fit, there's a lot of right ways, but there is one explicitly wrong way, in my opinion. Set up a shitload of expectations for yourself, that you're gonna shift overnight into a perfectly healthy lifestyle routine and break every single one of your bad habits instantly.

Obviously that's ridiculous, and yet people continue on thinking they can do it. Here's a little secret for you: change is incredibly difficult for most people in the best of circumstances. Even if you don't do exactly this and set a more realistic goal for yourself, people still fall into the real trap that always kills every single one of these fitness journeys immediately: seeking perfect, linear progress. That's not how people work. Progress is messy.

If you start a good, healthy lifestyle habit, and never deviate from it, that's awesome! But if you have a cheat day, or one day where you don't do quite as good as you want to, that's completely fine. And that's the important thing: even if you fail 9/10 of your fitness goals out of the gate, something is better than nothing. And just because you failed 9/10 doesn't mean you can't try them again.

People seem naturally averse to incremental change in almost everything they do, and I think that's incredibly cringe. Incremental change leads to substantial change over time. Compound interest and all that. A small improvement in anything is better than no improvement at all. If you do one push-up a day, maybe you'll eventually be able to do two. Find fruit you like, and maybe you'll be fine munching on that instead of candy, or something. Incremental change is better than no change at all, and it leads to much larger change with time.

And if you cheat, or you fail, whatever. Get back up and try again. Any time you spend improving yourself is necessarily progress, even if you lose it, because you are also learning from the experience of it. You are learning what works for you, and what doesn't.

You can always start again, even if you stop for a while, but it is much easier to keep going once you've started than it is to start again. Failing once doesn't mean you stop. Giving up after you fail does. Getting back up and continuing after you failed is how you build a habit.

And don't compare your small successes to others' huge ones--if someone transformed their body in a month while you're still mostly the same, whatever, dude. You're still improving. Progress is progress. You know yourself better than you know them. Don't lie to yourself that you've done nothing, because you can clearly tell you are doing something. Inevitably, if you keep making positive progress, you will see positive results. You can't hide from them forever.

That's how I've built my workout routines, that's how I've started eating healthier & cooking my own meals. There are a lot of other benefits that have come from that as well, though I obviously don't think they work for everyone. My point is though, when you identify what positive progress would look like and start working towards it, don't seek perfection. Don't sweat smaller, or even larger mistakes, in pursuit of your goal. The only way you really fail is if you give up.

But you can even come back from that much. You can always start again. You need no one's permission or prompting, but if you want someone to tell you, here's your sign: FUCKIN DO IT, BABY! JUST START, I DONT GIVE A SHIT WHAT IT IS, WHERE YOURE STARTING, OR HOW

This goes for a lot of things, actually! If you want to start other habits to improve yourself, like say being a kinder person, or emphasizing some other trait you want to have more of, or breaking a bad habit, it's the same thought process. If you fail once, get up and try again. Don't let failure discourage you! You're still learning, and you're still making progress.

If you make a mistake, admit it, own it, and keep working on it. That's the only way you will truly progress. You need to be honest with yourself if you want to actually improve, because you have to have an open mind to learn.

I'm meandering a bit in my general thought process here, but this is another thing that's just been on my mind lately that I thought some people could do with seeing. The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. The best time to plant a tree was yesterday, the second best time is today. Etc etc ad nauseum

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