#that wasnt a very good sentence.. point is he is cat like and i love him

[meanbossart]

LORE ASK COMPILATION: "Still not banging Halsin, Squid Games, Sun King, Failing at love quizzes, Bottoms, Tops, and Cats" Edition

He didn't, Halsin wasnt around for act 3, too busy healing land and saving ghost children or something!

THANK YOU/I'M SORRY, I'm surprised there isn't more Bhaalist Dark Urge/Spawn Astarion stuff out there. Don't get me wrong, I love a good evil power couple, but who can resist the good ol'heartbreak of a vicious unending cycle brought on by your own senselessness!

That wasn't something I was interested in previously just because acquiring the slayer form isn't part of his canon, but I've been looking at enough fromsoft games' monster designs that I might be a little inspired to try LOL

Also I am just a fan of the canon design and never before thought it needed altering. But I'll let it cook ;)

God damn it.

DU drow was VERY antagonizing towards the emperor since the moment he dropped the facade, which made the attempt ESPECIALLY hilarious - that poor guy is so, so lonely.

I don't recall the exact wording in-game, but once the emperor took his shiny squid pecs out and shot his shot, DU drow recoiled and called him disgusting. After having the visions of Stelmane forced upon him to make whatever baffling point the emperor was trying to make, DU drow smugly asserted that he had finally let the mask slip and their very terrible date ended with the Emperor enforcing their reluctant need for one another, for the time being.

In-prose, that would honestly be pretty much it. DU drow would have reacted with absolute revulsion at the prospect of being hit on by a mindflayer, and taken the Emperor's (miscalculated) moment of lashed-out vulnerability as a win - as proof that he was exactly as duplicitous as he always assumed the Emperor to be.

I can assure everyone that I am as entertained by the thought as the rest of you and it is in the cards for future art, I just have... So many prompts... I have at least 5 different mini-comics I want to make, BESIDES singular pieces, BESIDES the fanfic... I wish I had more time and more hands.

But DU drow's unlikely semi-success as a parental figure is hilarious to me. I think about it constantly.

I haven't entertained that thought much because its antithetical to DU drow's character. Whether "good" or evil, he wouldn't allow Astarion to ascend because of his fear of no longer being needed and his reluctance to watch his partner be consumed by out-sourced power and changed into something he despises. Realistically, in a world where Astarion is allowed to ascend they could only break up and inevitably kill each other soon after.

That said, I am fascinated by the Sun King and the implications that path has for his character. So far that is an arc that I can only really see Astarion taking on alone, though - that might change in the future, might not. We'll see!

IF I CAN MAKE IT NOT ENTIRELY MISERABLE, I JUST MIGHT.

He got 2 out of 3 questions wrong - which is to say he was way too honest and Astarion didn't like that.

Except for the "when is he the happiest" question, which he correctly answered with "when he's neck deep in gore".

This is not even a lore-embelishment, this is actually how that scene went for me and I cackled about it for ages.

He would love to get tied up for old-times' sake. I doubt he knows much about fancy knots but Astarion might (though I might be in a minority that doubts his enforced "sex life" was actually that interesting at all.)

Thank you so much!

You are mostly correct. Bhaalist drow, both pre and post tadpole would be much more keen on the idea of having people around who fulfill their every desire - EXCEPT for killing. That is a joy they take on for themselves.

"Canon" DU drow values his independence a lot, on the other hand. He's neutral on the idea of slavery (what a sentence) and wouldn't be opposed to temporary servicing, but the idea of having someone around waiting for orders doesn't attract him at all, or at least would get on his nerves quick. He much preffers to do things himself and makes sure that other people see how much he does not need assistance.

The answer is yes, basically LOL.

DU drow both adores and despises Sceleritas presence and he doesn't know why. It very much reflects the type of relationship they used to have prior to DU drow's memory loss, and it's one of those things that he has conflicting feelings about but not any context for them.

I sadly doubt that the boys would become parents during Shadowheart's lifetime (it's for the best, they have a lot of work to do before I would trust them not to drop a baby), but honestly she strikes me as really liking kids as long as she doesn't have to, well, have them LOL.

And thank you so much for enjoying them and humoring me!

I think it is less about bottoming-topping and more about enjoying a more submissive role during sex, as well as in other scenarios. He believes that giving control away is, in a way, a show of devotion that goes both ways - his own for the willingness to do so, and his partner's for not taking advantage of it despite his wanting them to do so.

With one-night-stands (which he occasionally had pre-tadpole) he would still bottom without any of the submissiveness. This is because he didn't have the capacity to understand what it was about bottoming that attracted him, and led him to feeling constantly unfulfilled and frustrated (he just isn't build for no-strings-attatched type of arrangements, lol.)

This means that he really could operate either way depending on the partner as long as he got that fix of docility, whether it be from the bottom or top.

I think of Astarion as being similarly versatile but leaning more in the opposite direction when it comes to power-dynamics - though it being less about dominance itself and more about being pampered and catered to - and, of course, getting to do what he wants. Though he's willing to try most things a partner is particularly enthusiastic for just to see how he feels about it.

That said with DU drow he does prefer to top for a plethora of reasons.

I didn't have this piece of lore thought-up at the time, but I should have made them look like the lady he lost his virginity to.

Him and Astarion were gobbling those things up until the emperor reveal, then they both quit it cold-turkey after DU drow stomped the astral-tadpole dead (and back then you didn't have to roll any dice to do it, because otherwise we would have weird veiny DU drow to deal with for sure because he would NOT have suceeded that save.)

DU drow's feelings towards animals is a constant in every iteration of his character. They are organic little pieces of art wandering about the world that act upon their own laws and regulations, ones which humanoids aren't privy to - except for when they intrude into that world through magic and try to understand it through their overly-complicated systems and concepts. If a cat made the temple it's home, it can stay.

[moomin-mamas-famous-pumpkin-pie]

I made a sleeby snufkin and moomin, I didnt really like the colored version so I made a colored shaded version for this sideblog’s banner but i like that one even less so i’m going to go back and change the lining’s color, I’ll have my banner as that when you see this (most likely)!

im also just using my main blog’s URL cause it’s easier to write than my long one; so I’m not stealing it, dont worry!

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML Reboot: Miraculous: Heroes of Miracles: Alya Césaire

-Out of all the people in the reboot, I would say Alya gets the least amount of changes in the reboot. But there are still some changes

-Alya's Ladyblog is developing and isnt up and running until Season 2. But before that she does study and take notes on Ladybug. Interested on getting more information on the heroine.

-In her old school, Alya was in a group of friends, but as time went on the group discouraged Alya's hobbies, her cultural knowledge and investigative nature, calling them weird and off putting. So Alya would hide what she liked with her friends. Eventually her mother got a new job, and the family moved to Paris. Her old friends told her to enjoy the city, but that with her moving there was no point keeping in touch.

-Alya realized her old friends were suppressive and she promised to be more true to herself going forward. But this would really be tested in origins, where she gets swept up in Chloé's pace. It wasnt until Chloé called Marinette "A girl with weird hobbies" that made Alya realize she was falling into the same traps as she did in the past.

-Alya and Marinette did become good friends. Marinette was amazed at Alya's self esteem and confidence. Alya admired Marinette's determination and creativity. Both of them often would encourage the other.

-Marinette was the one that encouraged Alya to start the Hero blog. Which Alya starts working on, and Marinette helped with making the layout for the blog (colors, patterns, and even how it was set up)

-Alya helped model marinette's designs. And encouraged her to enter the fashion contest Gabriel agreste Advertised.

-Alya and Marinette both happen to love super hero movies, and horror movies.

-Alya and Marinette would hang out often and normally drag the other into whatever plans they had.

-In the first season. Alya is more of Chloé's rival as she is the one that Stands up to Chloé publicly. Something that would normally be a social death sentence.

-Alya becomes Class rep after winning the election and Marinette as her second.

-Alya has a habit of jumping the gun, but as the season develops she does learn about subtly and patience.

-She is still the first hero picked outside of Ladybug and Chat noir.

-Adrien and Alya strike up a friendship over their love of heroes, and they drag Marinette to the Majestia movies (majestia is just a movie character in this world)

-Alya does develop a crush on Nino, but it is a slowburn and they end up getting together Officially in season 2.

-Alya was the one to deduce that Agent Volpina was Lila Rossi.

-Alya helped Adrien and Felix investigate Gabriel, which lead to the discovery of his connection to the secret society of elites. Better known as "Masqué"

-In Season 5, Alya gets an Internship working for Nadja.

Funfacts:

-Alya is technically the second known fox user in the series, the first is Marianne

-Alya's Father doesnt work in the zoo, he is an animal doctor, and happens to specialize in wild cats.

-Alya is still the middle child. And has picked up how to fight from her older sister. Making her very capable without a miraculous.

-Alya is the second fastest girl in the class, the first is Alix. (Unless Marinette is running away embarrassed)

-Alya wore contacts in the past, but refuses to wear them now, as it was one of the things she did to fit in, along with Straightening her hair.

[heyitsyn]

Complicated

Shirabu x Reader

a/n: im not very familiar with shirabu on a spiritual level like i am w the other characters but ill try my best!! 

request:  okok haikyuu hcs: shirabu is reader’s childhood best friend and messed up their last game in middle school because he changed his setting style to accommodate ushijima,,, and reader, as the manager is very very pissed and they get into a huge fight,,, so once they get to stz they’re academic rivals, reader became the vbc manager just to spite him (oh yea they definitely still have crushes on each other but it’s hard with the current situation) only if it’s ok!! not a lot of ppl write for him :

this is kinda the best friends-to-rivals-to-friends again-to-lovers

requests open!!

lets get our inhalers bc this finna be a wild one luvs

so, basically,

you and him were actually childhood friends since he lived next door to you

lets say you met when you were 5 and you just stuck on to this slightly cold and dismissive boy who was the shy type

idk bout you but i actually like that type

ppl dont really understand how yall got along bc you were the extrovert and the laughing type of girl

he only stuck around bc you were actually a smart person who helped him occassionally w your organized notes

but he still appreciates your time and efforts to be his friend despite his personality

plus, you also liked volleyball and together you both would watch volleyball matches in his house where you would see him with a smile that he unconsciously wears

like when yall were 8, you gave him a volleyball for his birthday since he lost his old one when he was playing by the river

at first, he was like, ‘oh, thanks, i needed this’

but then as he started tossing it up and down, you could see that bashful smile starting to surface

you shrieked, 

bc you rarely see it and you think its super cute,

and just wrap him up in a hug and he turns all shy again but with a soft smile and a soft blush

‘thanks, n/n-chan’

uh oh, feelings

stinky

since he mainly focused on doing homework or studying, not a whole lot of kids really approached him to hang out since they thought he only lived to study and play volleyball

but you didnt care bc youve been friends w this bun for a long time and you know hes not really like that

he has fun moments too

since you were the manager of the volleyball team, you always try to showcase how fun he was by trying to take the team to bonding places 

the team does think that shirabu has fun but only if its w you

anyways

one afternoon, you naturally just go to his house w him since your mothers know youre practically best friends and so you basically live in each others houses

yall were about halfway through middle school so shirabu has been studying more to get scholarships for schools

he was studying on the little table while leaning against his bed while you were just lounging on his bed after studying

‘ken-channnnn’

oikawa 2.0

‘hm’

you pouted at the distracted reply before sitting up and wrapping your arms around his shoulder from behind him and placing your chin on his shoulder

‘lets do something fun!!!! im boredddd’

he wasnt really fazed by the skinship bc youve been like that to him since day 1

but thats going to change soon

‘i have a new sudoku book over there that you could do’

omg what

‘ken-chan!’

you shrieked in betrayal before leaping off the bed and grabbing his arm to stand him up

shirabu was actually annoyed that you were distracting his studying but seeing a wide grin on your face made him double stop

am i,,,, catching feelings?

nah, he just going through puberty

‘lets go to the fall market! yuki-chan told me theres a new food place that opened and theyre handing out free samples!’

you excitedly told him and continued shaking his arm to persuade him in going

‘n/n-chan, this is my only free day from volleyball to study. i need to pass the test on friday’

you rolled your eyes at that lame excuse

‘i know. i set up the schedule differently bc you have a big test on friday! but you would still have time to study!’

‘but im still unfamilair with the topic-’

‘cmon, ken-chan! youre so smart you could rival buddha!’

‘i dont think,,,,, thats a right comparison’

‘either way, we’re going to hang out and have fun!’

he honestly didnt know why he was at this crowded market w you

shirabu is a whole simp

‘omg ken-chan! look! takoyaki!’

you dragged him to the stall and the nice old lady smiled before taking your order

‘1 box please. ken-chan, you want?’

he shook his head no and started taking out his wallet to pay

but you stopped him

‘no, you dont have to pay since youre not eating’

‘but i want to’

‘ken-chan! you need to save up for college!’

‘no its fine im pay-’

‘here ya go, dear. free of charge’

you both stopped at the nice lady’s sentence

‘b-but’

‘no it’s okay. its cute to find a boy who’s willing to pay for his girl since that doesnt really happen nowadays. i hope you have a great rest of your date!’

‘it’s not a da-’

‘thank you, maam’

shirabu takes the box and leads you out of there

you smirk and poke his tummy

‘you want to go on a date with me, ken-chan~?’

he turns red and looks away

‘no. it wouldve taken longer to fully explain the situation so just go along with it to make it faster’

you giggled

‘hm sounds fake but okay’

you both continue to walk around the market and even buy a few things like a mini buddha statue or a pair of cat ears for both of you

with everything you bought, shirabu payed with it all

you were pouting as you walked and he noticed so he nudged you with his elbow

‘oi, what’s wrong?’

you crossed your arms

‘hm.. i dont like that ken-chan is buying and spending money for me on things that symbolize our fun. i want to give ken-chan something to remember this day too!’

shirabu grows flustered but hes really confused

youve always been a thoughtful person who tries to be independent but unconsciously ends up depending on others like him

but your thoughts of wanting to do something in return for him just sounds like heaven right now

lmao what a simp

he looks around for a place that could have something that sparked his interest but nothing caught his eye

until he caught a photo booth by the corner

‘oi, n/n-chan, let’s go there’

you followed his finger and you gasped

‘thats perfect, ken-chan! let’s go!’

you drag him to the booth and you giddily enter the coins for the machine to start

but he was starting to think this wasnt a good idea

he was in a cramp space with you pressed against him

but youve always been glomped to his side since yall were kids so what was the difference now?

bc you catching feelings, fool!

‘ken-chan! its starting!’

he finally snaps out of his flustered state and he raises a peace sign with a smile

with all the pictures, there were funny pictures of you and him,

well mainly you

but he was happy to have them w you

‘ken-chan, you know i love you, but when will you fix your hair?’

he glared at you

‘i like it so its staying that way’

you giggled at his attitude

‘okay, ken-chan. at least it would make you stand out in the crowd so i dont have to look for you!’

you hugged his waist and he froze up, suddenly feeling awkward with this familiar position

its okay, shes naturally like this so calm down

dontcrydontcrydontcrydontcry

after your hang out, he didnt even bother going back to studying

he just laid on his bed, looking at the strip of pictures with a fond smile

he was happy that you only showed that true, bright, happy grin to him

it was only for him

and he only showed his to you

bc you were you and you were the greatest thing, next to his parents, that he has in his life

omg that thought

he freezes and the picture falls on his face at that realization

omg, does he like you?

youre a great friend and his best friend and he wants to be your friend forever

but then, he realizes

youd separate one day and youd have a boyfriend and get married and have a family without him

no, he wasnt going to let that happen

he didnt like that thought

and thus, began his crush for you

and you were the same thing too but you noticed it later than him

oof, when this one girl confessed to him at the back of the school, you cried to him when yall got home

‘when ken-chan has a girlfriend, he wont hang out with me anymore! hes not going to be my friend anymore!’

it took some reassurance from him and more from your mom, when you got home, to realize that you liked your best friend

and thus began the skinny love stage

the whole volley team knew of your pining and tbh, they thought yall were dating but you were just like, nah, we friends

if anyone were to look at you, they would think the same thing

but ofc, yall are insecure hormonal teenagers who think that the other doesnt like them and if they confess, they would be rejected and that would ruin their friendship and they would not be friends anymore and they dont think they could handle that so its better to keep the feelings hidden and remain friends bc if theyre happy, theyre happy

oml my entire love life

this continued on until the last year of middle school

bc not only do you suddenly stop being friends, you became rivals

so as volleyball manager, you helped the team with whatever they needed in return of them doing their absolute best and winning the game

the last game of the year, you were slightly confused at the way shirabu was playing bc it wasnt the normal way he sets

before, his sets were so good that he could give it to any player and they would spike perfectly

but now, it was so different due to the simple, almost lazy, and very high tosses

the team was slightly irritated bc they couldnt keep up with the high tosses so they couldnt hit it

in between the sets, during break, you pulled him aside as you wiped off his sweat

‘ken-chan, youre not setting properly to the others. theyre getting angry because it doesnt allow them to spike right.’

he glares at you, with almost manic eyes

‘its their fault for not being able to jump high enough. in order to get a point, the ace must get a high toss to aim a quick spike’

‘but theyre not able to jump that high, ken-chan!’

you whispered, worried that he was going too intense and they would lose the game

all the hard-work the others put in, all to waste

‘i dont care. i must start early and change early so ushijima could hit my sets in the future’

‘but they’re not ushijima, kenjiro!’

you whisper-yelled

‘right now, theres no ushijima, no oikawa, its just you and the team. your team’

he was shook that you used his first name and the way you were actually telling him off

youve never been like that before

but he was blinded by his goal in the future

‘why is he our ace if he couldnt even hit tosses meant for an ace?’

‘because hes not the ace you’re hoping him to be!’

‘kenjiro, listen to me, these boys have worked their asses off for years to even come close to playing against seijoh or shiratorizawa. im going to do everything i can to make that happen and im not going to let them lose just bc you are too busy focusing on the future rather than the present’

with the way he looked at you, you really thought he would listen to you and play the way his team needs him to play

but no, he played the way he thought ushijima needed him to play

in the end, due to the foreign and unfamiliar tosses, they were unable to hit as much points causing them to lose

you could never forget the looks on your fellow classmates, who were also going to graduate this year, as they watched the ball that shirabu tossed, hit the floor right next to them

to say you were pissed was an understatement

you were F U R I O U S ™

you held the hands of the first years as they were devastated at their first loss

but you caught the eye of your ‘friend’ and he was biting his lip in irritation and anger

as your team was walking to their locker room to get changed, you pulled shirabu aside

‘what the hell’

he stared at you

‘we lost. we lost bc they couldnt keep up’

‘kenjiro! are you not listening to yourself?! you lost because you couldnt accept the fact that your teammates arent ushijima wakatoshi! you couldnt accept the fact that they’re not tall enough! strong enough! ace-like enough! and for what?! for the future?! the future where you’re going to set for someone like ushijima?!’

‘i vowed to set for a player like him, y/n! i want to toss a ball to someone as powerful and as talented as him! thats a promise i intend to keep’

you were dumbfounded 

he was acting on his own reasons and selfish intent, even costing them a game, for his preparation in the future

‘i cannot believe you right now. i didnt know you were so selfish, shirabu. of all the years i knew you, you were never like this. so what changed?’

at the almost betrayed look on your face hurt him bc weren’t you always there to help him? to support him? wasnt that the reason you became a manager in the first place? 

‘you dont understand, y/n. i need to change the way i play now because it will greatly benefit me in the future’

honestly, you didnt even know why you were so angry about this

sure, it was volleyball and it was just a game

you had high school to win it again

but maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t being the shirabu you knew

the ken-chan you grew up with and harbored feelings for for years

he was turning to someone that worked not for himself, but for some guy he has never even spoken to

you blinked away the tears and looked off the side, away from his face

‘right. the future. yanno, if youre already like this, i dread to think about how you would act once you get that goal of yours. but i know one thing. im not going to be there to see it happen’

god that last sentence

he felt a piece of his world crumble bc were you saying goodbye? were you leaving him?

‘i cant see you torture yourself into changing into a new person, kenjiro. so good luck finding someone who can’

‘oh yea? well, i dont need you! i’ll be perfectly fine on my own and find someone better than you! youre easily replacable!’

that was a big booboo love

that fight costed him more than a decade of friendship and a few years of love

despite living so closely together, you refused to even acknowledge him and when your parents got together, you’d find some way to be out ofthe house or you’d lock yourself in your room

he tried many times to get to you and even cried to you, begging to not leave him

but you willed strong and you left him alone

omg she handled this so bad and i cant w puberting teenagers

eventually, he got tired of chasing you and was now angry at you for picking a team of people youve only met for a few years over him who’s been there for you since you were 5

he was betrayed, cold, and sad

however,

without each other to be there, you both studied even harder and eventually, you were both able to get into shiratorizawa

initially, you wanted nothing to do w that school since you knew kenjiro was going to be in it and that bastard ushijima wakatoshi was too

um,,, babygurl ushi did nothing to you

but your mother really wanted you to go to a nice school since she wanted you to go to a nice college

since yall werent friends anymore, he didnt know you wouldn’t be in shiratorizawa

so imagine his surprise when he saw you entering his class with the girls uniform on and a completely new hairstyle and hair color and were you wearing makeup?!

lmao she acting like they broke up

anyways, all he knows, is that boys were already looking at you and vying for attention and dear god, he didnt know how to handle that

for the first month of school, youd think you would just be ignoring each other like you did back in middle school

but nope!

somehow, yall were now talking again!

except it was a mean type of talking

you see, shirabu studied as much as he breathed and you were just a naturally smart sister who didnt study as much

but you still were able to make it to the top and currently, you were the 1st in your entire class

‘ara ara? 1st again? better luck next time, shirabu-kun~’

he glared at you from his seat as you passed by with a smug grin

this fueding is giving me vertigo

‘shut up. at least some of us work for our grades’

that was so weak lmao

but you turned around to blink your eyelashes, slightly mocking him

‘eh? are you saying that i’m naturally gifted? yanno, shirabu-kun, naturally gifted people are much better than those who have to work for it. you play with ushijima-senpai, right? so you’d know the difference between you two.’

bringing up ushijima always pained him but he kept repeating it to himself that he was doing it so that he could go to nationals

sensing his silence as defeat, you waved your hand and went back to conversing w your other friends

this continued on again for a while and he was already sick and tired of it

not only was it beginning to get annoying, it was beginning to hurt

he cornered you at your locker

aaaaa kabedon!!!!!!!

‘listen to me and listen well, y/n’

yessir im listening

‘whatever the hell youre doing, cut it out. youre not going to rile me up anymore and im not going to give you the reactions you want. i dont understand why youre doing this to me but you need to stop before i make you’

ohgodyessir

ngl, that tone of his voice was the lowest youve heard and it made you so red bc that was just hot

but you gulped before grinning wolfishly, hand pressed against his chest and the other snaking around his neck

you pulled him down to your level so you could lean close to his ear

‘now you listen to me and listen well, ken-chan, youre not my best friend anymore so you can no longer tell me what to do, kay?’

shirabu was just flustered at the close proximity between your lips and his ears that he completely missed your warning

he only snapped out of it when you walked away, heading towards your next class

you sat in class that day, wondering how to tease him more

clearly, just words wouldnt make him irritated

gurl why you doing this

and you were stumped until you saw a red-haired looking guy accompanied by a gray-haired looking guy coming up to you

ofc you recognized them from the volley team since you’ve,,,,,,maybe seen a few practices

you thought theyd just pass by but they stopped in front of you and you looked up w wide eyes

‘can,,,, i help you?’

‘wow shes cute!’

the red head shouted and you shrunk under the gazes of these tall men

‘sorry about him. im semi eita, second year’

you shook his hand and you introduced yourself before soon finding out this other guy was tendo satori

‘so what do you need me for?’

‘you see, we’re kinda in need of a manager. and i think its better to have a manager who is close to a player in the team. i apologize to say this but i saw you and shirabu-san by the lockers the other day and i think its best to have his girlfriend as our manager’

‘g-girlfriend?!’

you shrieked, shocked that they thought you were

at this mention, you got a flashback from the festival and you soon turned bright red at the label of you being kenjiro’s girlfriend

‘and youre so cute y/n-chan! i can see what our darling kouhai sees in you!’

‘no, you got it all wrong its-’

then you stopped

omg this was the perfect opportunity

no gurl stop jesus take the wheel

shirabu would hate it if you were a manager bc that would give you more room to tease him

holy

then you smiled

‘i accept, senpais. i want to see my baby in action after all’

they were ecstatic since it was a hassle to find a manager who wasnt infatuated w ushijima

you exchanged contacts and soon, you were brought to meet the team

oh boy when kenjiro saw you at the door, he dropped the ball on his head

what in the hell were you doing here

‘guys, this is our new manager!’

you peeked out from tendo and waved at them

‘hello, my name is l/n y/n, first year. and im glad to be your manager’

noticing shirabu’s shocked form, tendo and semi shared a look and interpreted as, hes so happy that his senpais chose his girlfriend for him so now he could show off and play better and that could hopefully turn his attitude to be more grateful and respectful rather than this dismissive and disrespectful behavior

but shirabu was dying inside

oh god, youre totally going to tease him during practice and hes not going to be at his best and hes not going to be able to prove himself to ushijima

‘oi! shirabu-kun! come be grateful to your senpais for letting your darling girlfriend as our manager!’

‘hey baby!’

omg, what

again, you have a loud and expressive personality so you were kinda shameless so you just ran up and hugged him

aaaaa this is so embarassing wth

‘didnt you miss me? oh, youre so cute!’

god, he knows youre only here to spite him

right on point, good sir

ugh you were practically teasing him as the manager and you were having so much fun making him all flustered

but he was also spiteful 

sometimes, he would stick his foot out whenever youd run towards a player and hed laugh at you embarassing yourself in front of them

youd return the favor by accidentally throwing his water bottle at his face

‘oh, gomen, ken-chan’

the entire time, the team was baffled to see the usual stoic and dismissive shirabu so freely laughing and actually teasing you

they think its just for good fun and not the aim of hurting each other since yall are dating and youre just flirting

combined w being academic rivals and now rivals during the team, you both were unintentionally becoming close again

the brutality was slowly simmering to a low heat

and turn the over on at 350 degrees

now, it was just to make each other flustered

the crush that you thought was gone, was slowly digging itself out like the zombies in plants vs zombies

and my god you were annoyed

from now on, you were nothing but rivals and a parasite on his side

him feeling the same

dating would cause too much and the hurtful words would eventually come back up and you concluded that you were just too different

you didnt conclude shit

one time, the team was walking from practice to a nearby convenience store to pick up food

ofc you were picking out a billion foods and you just shoved them all to his arms

‘my darling boyfriend would pay for it because he loves me. ya know what they say, make his pockets hurt’

he glared at you 

‘as far as i remember, i wasnt dating a pig’

ngl, that hurt a little bc hes calling you a fattie

but he still went up to pay for it and you intentionally bumped him with your hips to annoy him but it caused him to drop his wallet to fall

and out came his money and that picture

the picture from nearly 3 years ago

you bent down to pick it up before he could even move 

god, yall were so happy and young back then

it was awkward silent since you didnt give it back and yall walked out of the store and the team was sensing the weird vibe around you two

‘oi, what happened? its so tense!’

‘did you fight?’

‘did you get caught making out by the aisles?’

‘ong shut up, kai!’

yall kai is a third year senpai that i completely made up since we dont get insight on the senpais before ushijima

but the team noticed the weird aura around you two and decided to walk away to give yall some space

‘can-will you hand it over now?’

shirabu mumbled

you nodded and pushed it in his hands

‘why,,,, why do you still have it?’

‘you gave it to me. of course id still have it’

you were silent before coughing

‘can we talk?’

‘its about time we do’

yall walked away from the team towards your home but were taking weird turns and corners to prolong the walk

you looked up to see him and you laughed

‘this is ridiculous. its not fair’

‘what are you talking about?’

he whispered

‘i was so angry at you for saying that you dont need me and that you could easily find someone better because i knew that and i didnt like it. but i was so hurt that it came from your mouth. out of everyone, i would rather die than hear you say that to me. i think thats why ive been like this. i dont know, im being stupid. i was being stupid.’

he stopped walking and clenched his fist while glaring at the ground

‘you told me you were going to leave me. you were telling me that you wouldnt be friends with me anymore. i had to choose between you or volleyball and i wasnt at the right state of mind at that time so i chose incorrectly’

you noticed him not beside you anymore so you went behind him to rest your forehead on his back so he would see you since he preferred to be honest while not looking at you

‘ken-chan, we messed up big time, didnt we?’

his body shook as he laughed

‘i guess we did’

‘it was only over a game. i was so mean and dramatic and ive called you names and said bad stuff about you and im sorry’

‘im not innocent either. i said those words to you and im sorry’

despite slightly making up now, you both knew those feelings would have to wait because you were only getting each other back

‘can we start over, ken-chan?’

‘you want to?’

‘yes’

‘then we will’

omg the whiplash this is giving me

so yall are finally becoming friends and your families are relieved yall made up again bc wowza those dinners were torturous

‘now that they made up, we can go back to planning their wedding’

‘MOM NO!’

slowly but surely, everything has been going steady and your friendship was getting better

but you didnt admit to the club about everything bc again, shirabu was like, ‘i dont feel like explaining everything’

you both still kept a rivalry but it was friendly this time with cute wagers like treat me to milk bread or banana milk

tOOrU oIKaWA’s fAvoRiTE fOod iS MiLK bREaD

he came over often and studied w you and yall would end up actually just watching a movie or watching brain games, unconsciously cuddled up on the couch

however,

this new closeness was doing damage to your heart bc you were again reminded of how much you liked this boy

initially, you thought it would just go away and never be seen again but it said

sIKe biH!

every time you saw him, youd unconsciously sweep away a stray hair and fix it to his weird crooked style

but whenever you do that, shirabu would get a close view of your face and omg you were freaking beautiful

and thats saying something from a guy who saw you through your awkward phase

hes unconsciously touching you more and showing more affection, even more than when yall were young

just being w you was emotionally exhausting as he holds himself back from doing drastic things but he was over it

he was done with all the years of pining for you so finally found the balls to do something about it

you were over at his place to study for exams and he was coming back up with juice

you were slumped over your calculus textbook with your hair in a bun and glasses on wearing his clothes

god theyre practically dating already

‘ken-chan, come help me with this’

he nods and goes to sit behind you

with his tall height, he was able to look over your shoulder and place his chin on it and tbh, you were so frustrated w the problem you didnt care about the closeness

‘you misplaced a decimal so everything got all wrong’

he mumbled

you gasped and made a noise of agreement before changing your answer

he didnt move though, instead wrapping his arms around yourwaist

‘oi, n/n’

‘hm’

this is a familiar scene

‘wanna go to the market tomorrow?’

at the mention of the market you stopped and leaned back

oh god your heart leapt at the feeling of his chest behind you but you composed quickly

‘should we?’

you turned to gauge his reaction at your closeness but he gently smiled

‘yea’

‘okay’

you havent been back to the market together since that day and it was so nostalgic as you both did the things you did back then

from the takoyaki to the stalls

it was so fun

but your heart was beating so fast

his smiling face and thoroughly enjoyed face was doing palpations in your heart

you looked away to stop staring at him and found the photo booth

‘look, ken-chan! the photo booth!’

he chuckled at the thought

‘should we go get another one?’

‘yes! come on!’

you quickly inserted the money and shirabu had flashbacks

but this time it was going to be different

‘okay lets start!’

the first picture, it was a peace sign

the second one was a wacky one

but the next one, was different

‘oi y/n’

‘what?’

the shutter went off just in time of him kissing you

the bright light caused you to close your eyes and you soon forgot what was happening

all you knew you were kissing ken-chan

your best friend

turned enemy

turned friend again

and now,,, were you lovers?

this rollercoaster is quite loopy

he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours

‘im sorry if-’

‘no balls, do it again’

and this time you lunged back for another

and again, this time, not only did you give him another photo, but you also gave him your heart

la fin.

yall what did i just write

[maggotmouth]

          hillo sexthy legends !!   i’m nora and i’ll be writing margo colby n probs sm1 else bcos lets be real, i lack self-control. u can find her pinterest here n some info abt her sexy self below the cut. plot with me on discord ( hot girl midsommar#8664 ) or in my ims !!  x o x

     * CAMILA MORRONE, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER  | you know MARGO COLBY, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ELEVEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS  like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BLEACH WHITE SNEAKERS POUNDING ON A GYMNASIUM FLOOR, USING THE SAME BLUNT SCISSORS TO HACK THE SLEEVES OFF AN EXES T-SHIRT THAT YOU USE TO CUT YOUR 3AM FRINGE, A WALNUT-SHAPED ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH FOR THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 8TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )

CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SENTENCE FOR SEXII GOOGLE DOC!!

bullet point summary of margo.

—   born margaret but NOBODY calls her that. its colby, coach or margo, and go to the privileged few. margo grew up in the creek commune n then dropped out of school cos of a teenage pregnancy so she was a bit of a cautionary tale back in’t’day (said tht in my yorkshire accent). she now works for summer camps coaching pee wee soccer and pee wee cheer, as well as helping out her beekeeper dad on his honey farm, which is jst north of abernathy creek, and working at scuba on the off seasons.

—  its just her and her dad, and has been for as long as she can recall !! everything she knows about her mum could fit on the back of the weathered passport photo she keeps in her wallet of a stranger who shares her face - her name’s melody, or at least tht was name she used when working as a dancer, she’s from argentina and dropped mag’s dad as soon as someone w more money came along.

—  margo’s father is a beekeeper with his own organic honey company. margo and her dad moved to irving in the early 00s, the summer between grade school and middle school, because her dad had heard about the communal living in abernathy creek and wanted to lend his skills there and live off the fatta the land in a very lenny from of mice and men kinda way.

—  for a few years of middle school margo was bullied for living with the ‘freaks from the creek’, but when they realised how chill her dad was with underage drinking, margo ‘keg-bringer’ colby soon gained popularity among the more renegade students. every so often, the high school parties would happen at her end of town, occasionally with members of the commune even offering the high schoolers a spiritual experience they’d never forget (often in the form of mushrooms) which meant people tried to stay on her good side. to get an invite to a margo colby party handed you a free pass to make up the most ridiculous shit about the commune you liked and nobody else could say anything, because they’d never been to the creek.

—  at school, margo had a lot of ‘behvioural issues’ bcos of undiagnosed adhd, she found it difficult to sit still for hours n write down huge chunks of information n her restlessness was seen as laziness. she was encouraged to do sports, as were most of the kids who weren’t that academically inclined, but she turned out to be pretty hot shit at sprinting, because she grew up surrounded by bee houses and he who runs slowest gets stung, baybeyy!! so yea, in school sports became her LIFE. she was gonna get a sports scholarship to college but ended up dropping out of school in senior year n becoming one of those kids who could have had it all but lost it.

—  she had sex with sutter at a house party when she wasnt really ready because it felt like the right thing to do at the time and everybody else was doing it. she’d attended health class, she’d seen the corny videos. she knew about all the statistics, but she also knew that it had never happened to anyone she knew and the pull out method was basically safer than the morning after pill and way less expensive.

—  a teenage pregnancy knocked her out of the runnings for prom queen and meant she had to leave school early. she didn’t go to college when her friends did, instead she spent the time interviewing potential foster candidates and eating her weight in lindt chocolate while marathoning love island in her room.  

—  she had a son, who she passed off to someone else a couple of towns away.  it was a closed adoption which seemed like the best idea at the time, but she now wishes she had access to his life.

—  after peaking in high school and jumping between jobs for a few years, she got a more permanent role at scuba which she loves with all of her heart and soul, but unfortunately a bar job doesn’t pay the rent.  

—  she works at summer camps coaching  junior soccer and netball on the side. she’s extremely competitive and takes it very personally if her team lose. the kids all call her, coach colby n write her longwinded letters about how they’ll never forget this summer camp before they go back to their suburban picket fence houses n she keeps all the letters in a drawer n takes them out to read when she’s feelin depressed.

—  enjoys surfing and worked for a number of years on resorts like mila kunis’ job in forgetting sarah marshall. she went on to work 18-hour days as a stewardess on luxury yachts which is a part of her backstory i added after watching season one of below deck because i guess i really am that fucking impressionable. met most of her surf friends doing tht but said she’d never in her life do it again bcos it was mostly just picking up after rich white ppl for shit pay. she came back to irving n thats when she started doing the summer camp jobs so she could move out of the creek n get her own apartment. 

—  she never actually finished senior year so she’s currently going to night school at the community college to get through her exams and is trying to save to go to college or open university. she wants to major in criminology. she’s super ambitious but also super adhd so she fluctuates between thinking she can achieve anything to just feeling like a failure n thinkin whats the point

—  used to shoplift to feel joy and as an act of resistance to her hippy commune routes, but now sees herself as a reformed, bin-diving freegan (sims 4 eco living can i get a hell yaaaa). also she thinks it’s totally wrong to steal when you have enough money and clearly don’t need to steal to survive, ppl risk imprisonment for basic necessities, so for her to do it for a brief thrill and some new shades felt a bit derogatory

—  was raised jewish. became a vegetarian as a child because it seemed, at the time, easier than having to explain which foods she was and wasn’t allowed to eat together, so she just cut out meat entirely. still a vegetarian now and dabbles in veganism, although its become less about not eating certain meats in the milk of their mother and more about her global impact / carbon footprint

—  nurses little animals to health in her garden. has a hedgehog name OJ short for orange juice not the other one filthy pig. her and her dad have always been huge animal rights activists and existed on a vegetarian diet. the only one in their house who isn’t vegetarian is their cat, auggie. (short 4 augustus gloop)

—  has a lot of stupid ass stick and poke tattoos. there was a phase during her years as a barmaid where she wanted to train as a tattoo artist n would mostly practice on herself or any friends who would let her

—  she doesn’t form many long lasting friendships cos she tends to be super excited when she makes a new friend and just see them all the time but then it wears off and she can ghost a bit. she’ll always coming pinging back but she’s not the most predictable or loyal friend, sometimes she’ll sleep in your house every night for a week and then you won’t even get a text from her for a month. her best friends are elderly neighbours and houseless people she meets when volunteering at the foodbank. she thinks they’re more authentic than most of the ‘fake posers’ she meets down the vela pier

—  calls herself a butch lesbian but still has sex with men when she wants validation. sexually attracted to some men, especially effeminate men, but only romantically attracted to women. very possessive of the gals in her life.

—  stopped giving a shit about getting older or adhering to anyone elses bullshit standards, realised it was all fake p much as soon as she dropped out of school and one by one her friends just stopped texting her

—  lives in one of the lofts in port apartments. it’s open plan with rugs and lava lamps everywhere. she has a palette bed. its all very ‘sustainable chic’. like, oh wow, a pallet bed that im supposed to think you made from scratch but i KNOW you got it  off ebay because you thought it looked trendy

—  constantly says shes poor but still buys clothes from urban outfitters. sus.

—  frequently found at fannies flirting with the cute bisexual bartender with a choppy black bob.

general vibe / personality

vibrant, vulgar, self-absorbed, tenacious, veers bewteen apathetic and dogmatic, temperamental, flighty, unreliable, magnetic, charismatic, passive aggressive, likes to play devil’s advocate, takes the moral high ground. estp and a leo

likes: 70s music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy, cowboy chic culture, dc comics, the smell of locker rooms,, deep red lipstick, lacrosse sticks, smoking weed from a bong, dogs, karaoke, pet rats, kate moss, late-night strolls, hawaaiian shirts worn open over a bralette, skinned knees, thai food, picking the apples at the very top of the trees, zip-lining, cigarettes, the idea of pegging but not the practical application of it, decorative lamps, LGBTQ+ pin badges, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.

dislikes: girls who call other girls ‘pick me’ girls, woody allen movies, mental mathematics, wealthy children, quentin tarantino, ironing, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, ‘dump him’ feminism, wes anderson films, spoken word poetry nights, college-educated bar staff who act like they’re better than you,  indie softbois, the general mentality of cheerleading squads.

aesthetics

orange peel, the smell of bleach, skeleton drawings in the margins of a journal, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, bleach white sneakers pounding on a gymnasium floor, setting dumpsters on fire for the hell of it. a hit flask of vodka decorated with hello kitty stickers, split knuckles, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, a child in an oversize bee keepers suit, scabbed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you,  a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

hoo boy this is getting LONG AS FUCK but here are my wanted plots

wanted plots

ok margo’s been in irving since she was like 10. she’s quite a vivacious person?? she dresses completely instinctively without any sense of cohesion so she stands out. a guy once told her she was wearing the ugliest outfit he’d ever seen and he thought that was so cool and brave of her. but anyway where was i going.. she grew up in the abernathy creek so stuck out like a sore thumb,,,, maybe ppl who were super interested in the creek or maybe poked fun at her bcos of it idk.....

b4 she dropped out, margo used 2 b in with the cool kids at school bcos her dad would buy them booze and rarely ask for the money. maybe a fun plot cld b with some of the ‘it girls’ she used to hang around with b4 she got pregnant n dropped out and they all went off to college n stopped texting her.

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! some1 she feels like she knew before irving ???

since margo literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships. fwbs. enemies with benefits. all the angst. all the slow burn mutual pining we hate each other narratives

locals who play sports. margo wld be all over community soccer n take it way too seriously. maybe ppl she plays hockey with. girls who she’s like, weirdly intimate with but its not a thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

she works part time at scuba. i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.

she's also a surf instructor and occasionally works as a lifeguard!! gal has like 7 jobs ik but regular swimmers hmu

ppl she coaches at the gym !! she wants to be a personal trainer

i reckon she might have recently started meditating to try and calm down her mind cos its always bustling with thoughts, n i think she’s p interested in buddhism so if anyone’s a buddhist hmu

someone she’s trying to make a zine with on female empowerment and women in film and art, etc. just a very feminist zine. 

TLDR:  angry sports gay, former high school track prodigy turned drop out, who likes feminist literature, wearing leather jackets over slip dresses, and smudged red lipstick.

this was so long !!! im sorry !! if you’ve read this far have a biscuit, love x

[incorrect-hunterx-quotes]

Update and story time:

I thought I would pass along an update to you guys. My sickness did not start off great. It started on Monday morning and very rapidly progressed by Tuesday afternoon. I was unable to eat or drink anything for 3 days because my throat was incredibly swollen. I couldnt even swallow my own spit so I would wake up every 5 minutes gagging, so I eventually stopped sleeping.

I went to Urgent Care and they gave me the diagnosis of incredibly Enlarged Tonsils and they gave me antibiotics and steroids to take to treat it. (This was on Tuesday night). The next morning I woke up and I couldn't talk. That is how swollen my throat became. I was no longer able to take my pills because they were too big. I was able to breathe, but it was hard. After a brief consult with a doctor he said to take the steroids immediately and go from there. (The steroids were the size of a literal crumb and it was still a struggle). He also said if it didn't help to go to the ER to get an IV bag because it had already been 2 days without food or water. I spent the rest of Wednesday literally hoping the steroids would kick in and help...they did not.

That night at around 2am I decided I wouldn't sleep because I was scared of gagging every 20 seconds. I spent the next 4hrs just curled in a ball against my desk on the floor spitting in a trashcan and listening to music to keep calm. (I'm am a 25yo male, over 6'3 and decently built, not scared of anything beyond Spiders and Heights, and I was a nervous wreck)

The next morning (Thursday) I heard my mother wake up and I went to her and begged her to take me to the ER. They took me immediately and quickly got me hydrated with an IV bag. Immediately I felt the effect and it was like I just woke up. I had energy, And I actually had color returning to me. I had lost 7/8 lbs at this point because I couldnt eat or drink.

They kept me in the ER the rest of the day and they gave me a 2nd IV bag and different steroids and antibiotics injected directly into my IV line. Within an hour I could speak. It wasnt that my throat was magically opened, but the one word I was able to say on Wednesday had magically became full sentences on Thursday, even if it was really low volume compared to my usual speaking voice.

They took the Big C-test (negative) and a CAT Scan later on, and that's where things got scary (-er). The CAT scan revealed that just beyond the enlarged tonsils was a 4-inch abscess, which would possibly mean surgery to deal with.

While surgery was unclear, I would need to be transferred to a different hospital 20 minutes away where they were better equipped to deal with my situation. I finally arrived at like 3am (Froday morning) and get all checked in. I get the routine blood draw and vitals stuff and then get told to relax while the specialist finished with his other patients. About 4:30am this guy comes in and was like "we're gonna take care of this right now." And I'm like "....what?"

So he was explaining that he could drain part of the abscess and then let antibiotics and steroids do the rest of it. It sounded like a good plan. I was already in better hands and I was on my way back to normal strength. So we agreed.... and that's when I quickly learned to hate this guy.

I warned him I have an incredibly strong gag reflex, and he said it wouldn't be an issue. He'd put lidocaine (a numbing agent) on my throat and tongue and itd be fine (it wasnt).

So now here I am at almost 5am, after being awake for almost 25 hours at this point, lying on my back with a bright light on my face, 2 nurses and the doctor on all sides and not enough nerves in the world to stop from shaking like a chihuahua on a massage chair in an earthquake. And not just little nervous shaking. They were powerful shakes.

It took one touch and my gag reflex was active. I was gagging the entire time. I threw up. I was screaming and crying. I accidentally bit the main doctor guy because he tried to keep my teeth open for the needle (I refused to apologize). I had such powerful shakes that my mother needed to hold my legs. She hasn't seen me this scared in 20 years when I used to have nightmares every night. And that was only after ONE OF THE TWO drains that needed to be done. I wanted to cry more and vomit and die. I couldnt do that again. But he insisted. I asked if there was a different way. There was no way I could be conscious for this again. I already knew I'd have nightmares from that (and I did last night). But he said there wasnt. So the 2 nurses and my mother braced me as I lay on the bench crying, shaking and gagging, with blood spit and pus coming out of my mouth, while this doctor finished the other draining. It was agonizing. I haven't been this scared in over 15 years. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemies. It is like I was in one of those horror movies where a doctor just tortures patients. I wanted to cry and cry.

They soon told me I would be admitted to stay the night and that they would keep me on steroids and antibiotics overnight while they waited for things to improve. I felt asleep after being awake for 28 hours that night. The only thing on my mind was when I would have to drain the rest of the abscess.

When the doctor came in the morning to discuss what was up with the rest of the treatment he basically said "why didnt he put you on morphine or something?" ...I was speechless. So when I brought it up to the next one she said the same thing. As did the next 3... I could've avoided that trauma instead of having to do it like that.

So I ended up not needed to get the remaining abscess drained. The antibiotics and steroids they have had hooked me up to all day has been taking care of it. WITHOUT THE NEED FOR TRAUMA2.0!!! By noon I was drinking water on my own, I was even speaking louder. By 6pm i ate my first solid food since Monday nights dinner (Friday). By 8 I was on the phone with my friends talking like nothing had changed.

So I've been recovering steadily and rapidly. I should be able to leave and go home by tomorrow night. And then I'll be back at 100% shortly after.

I just wanted to thank you guys for all your messages and words of support that I've been getting these last few days, and to take a few minutes to explain what I've been dealing with these last few days. I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for everything you've said. Truly, you guys and gals in this community mean the world to me.

Once I'm home I'll take a little time to get settled and we'll keep going as if this little "unplanned vacation' never happened. Take care and much love to everyone!!!

[freebooter4ever]

Ref anon: I hope you can get help for that pain. Maybe a nerve is pinched? I'm really not sure about my future. I have a lot of hobbies but just work a shit customer service job. Getting motivation to do drawing at all is difficult let alone animate. Which is a great mental state to be in when my only plan for my whole life since childhood was animation. 🤷‍♀️

its tendonitis and im pretty sure the only way to get rid of it is to take a break from working which is obviously not possible so just gonna ignore it till i die i guess \o/

so yeah you struck a cord with me, this got long...

i cant help with motivation, i have too much of it. i lived with my grandparents for a year while grandpa was sick, and it was the first time they'd ever really seen me /work/ and even they were shocked. it really is constant - if i have twenty minutes and im not using it to draw its wasted time, you know? my first roommate here in LA was concerned too - she kept trying to get me to stop working and go out and back then my excuse was i didnt have a job and no money for going out, but really im just like that all the time. i try to balance it with seeing friends and social media and everyday shit like eating food, but its hard, my favorite people are the ones who will just sit and work with me lol! (or going out and working in places im not alone and quiet). i guess what im saying is...if its really your passion, is it not there all the time? i only ask because it took me a long time to realize that although i loved to analyze animation and watch it - the way i process art doesnt quite have what it takes to do that. we all love the end product, but just because the animation part is the most front facing part...doesn't mean that's necessarily where your actual passion might lie...if that makes sense? there's SO MUCH to do in the animation industry, its crazy. for me, i finally realized that all my obsessive energy revolved around character and especially faces, and i just started focusing on that. i would much rather be concepting a wide variety of characters than spending a whole year animating about one minute of a two hour movie.

that said there's also the sad reality that some people have had doors open more easily than others. i feel you about being stuck in a retail job you feel wasted in :( im sorry you are in that position. i hope you are able to make a change, but i understand just how fucking /trapped/ that can be. watching life slip by into nothingness while the tiny snatches of meaning only happen during off hours and scraped together seconds of free time. one of the biggest ironies though is that this is how a lot of original animators felt about dsn*y. i mentioned that on my road trip i stayed with the son of an animator who worked on snow wh*te - he wasnt one of the 9 old men but he was their contemporary and friend, and the animator took the job just to make money off his art. animation just wasnt his full passion and he eventually quit, moved up north, and started experimenting with helicopters and boe*ng lol. 

and in reverse of that, as i grew up with a father and a grandfather who worked for boe*ng and the US space program, ALL my open doors were flight and space related - my cousin currently works for N A S A and my other cousin for boe*ng - they took the doors but i didnt want anything to do with it. it took years for my grandpa to finally come to terms with the fact that my passion for art was as strong as his passion for airplanes. he grew up a farm boy daydreaming about flying, and had to take a circuitous route to finally get there - army, college, mechanical engineering, finally rockets. he gave my dad and me all the chances grandpa would have wanted as a kid - my dad took them - i didnt want any of it. i would much rather have had those chances that the animator got.

and then of course there are the institutionalized gates - barriers against entry for women, minorities, LGBQT, people without money...its a LOT to fight against. which is of course why we celebrate the exceptional people who DO break through those barriers and succeed despite it all. but it can be demoralizing to be on the other side of those barriers. demoralizing is too soft a word. i dont think there is a word for how much it can hurt.

some wisdom that might help: randy pa*usch's last lecture - he is a white male who definitely does not understand the race/sex 'walls', but he makes good points, and also he came at the animation industry sideways for very similar reasons - through education and research rather than the traditional job promotion route. and then someone closer to my own age/time: justin scar*ed - i dont mean his road trip videos, i mean the old vlogs from 3-6 years ago when he was 31 divorced and depressed and realizing he had to release himself from his own pressure of his music career. his quest for positivity is an interesting concept, and i sympathized with that feeling of your life taking a direction you didnt chase after but somehow ends up being the thing you were actually looking for the entire time. if you want a success story there’s always my favorite: steve aok*. he went against everything that was set up for him in life and still made it work ^_^ (of course of these three, guess who also grew up the rich kid lol). or norman re*dus who quite literally accidentally became a model and successful actor. im paraphrasing this horribly, but my impression was that as a teenager he was selling shitty cat paintings on the streets of paris - which sounds romantic but miserable at the same time - and then followed a girl to california, got a crappy job in a motorcycle shop, went to a party and yelled at some people from a balcony, landed his first stage role...and eventually created the character of daryl and finally got the chance to have his genius really shine. (sometimes i wonder though, if it was frustrating to end up being famous for acting rather than art which was arguably his true passion?)

i hope any of this helps, i am pretty exhausted lately so apologies if my sentences are incomprehensible in some parts. and you know, my DMs on here are open if you want to talk more specifically off anon <3 

[trying2-write]

aizawa pov-

My least favorite part of being a hero is  waiting for all of the report's to be finished, as i waited at the police station i sat in the waiting area trying to take a nap. 'At least one good thing could come out of this.'

" alright erasurehead, all i have to do is turn this in and you'll be all set." Officer Sansa held up the papers and smiled at me. I just nodded, not really feeling up for talking. 

"Tamakawa, wait!" A girl with a bunch of boxes carefully ran towards him.

"Oh hey mitchi, what cha got there?" Sansa said with a laugh. She sat the box on a desk and turned to him.

"I brought treats from the cafe for everyone in your department. " i couldn't help but notice this girl has a cat tail and ears. And honestly seeing the two interact was too cute. The way there tails swayed and ears twitch with joy made my heart clench. I sunk into my scarf trying to hide my blush.

"Ok ill spread the word on my way to turning in this report." He gave her one last smile then walked away. I quickly closed my eyes pretending i wasn't just watching them.

There was a pause of silence before i heard "Would you like some?" I opened my eyes to see she was staring at me. I got a chance to actually look at her. She had crystal blue eyes,white hair with black and orange bangs. Pale skin with some freckles here and there. Her ears and tail speckled with black, orange, and white.  ' obviously she was a calico.'

She tilted her still waiting for my response before realising i wasn't going to speak she continued. " i have healthier treats if you'd like, i know some hero's like to stear clear from sweets." She closed her eyes with a smile and a giggle

'Too cute.'

I responded by getting up and walking towards her. She turned to the boxes and opened each one. " i have croissants, donuts, and strudels. Oh and of course all the healthy stuff." She said as she pointed to each one. Every single one had a cat theam of some sort. 'cute' i thought as i put my hand on my heart. " are you ok?"

I turn my head away from her and clear my throat.

" yes im fine, can i have that one please" i some how manage to say that in my normal monotone voice, even though the sentence wasnt the way i would normally word it.

She hands me the croissant with a chocolate cat face drawn on it. I look down at it with a small smile.

"Cute"

" im sorry, what was that?" 

"Hm?Oh! um,did you make these yourself?"

"Oh! Yeah, well with the help of my employee's of course! actually i just opened my cafe and to celebrate i brought these for my brother's coworkers. Plus it might be good for my business." She once again closes her eyes and smiled but this time with a small pur. I close my eyes in hopes to still my heart. 'Way too cute.' "Its called calico cafe, it's on toru street. But if you dont like the sweets you could always come for the adoptable cats! There's a hero's discount!"

'That's not too far from U.A. that sounds like a wonderful thing to do on my break.'

" if you don't mind me asking, why did you decide to open a cat cafe?"

She nervously laughed and scratchedthe back of her head. " well besides the fact that im a neko myself and want to find cats a home, I've always felt better around cats and i know being a hero is stressful work so i thought it would be a good place for them and others to relax."

"Thats very honorable of you." I give her a small smile, she bluhes and blinks a few times.

"So i see you've met my sister." Officer sansa walks in with a smirk on his face

"Oh! Im sorry i didn't properly introduce myself.  Im sansa mitchi, pleasure to meet you." She said with a bow. I slightly nod my head and say

"Aizawa shouta."

"Well erasure your free to go."

"I probably should get going too. It was really nice meeting you aizawa, i hope to see you soon!" She walked off with a wave, and i gave her a small one back.

" i love my sister, but she can be a little nuts, so far warning." He laughed and went back to work. ' i think ill be the judge of that.' not realising that that thought indicated ill be seeing her again, even getting to know her.

[misstartrekandel]

3rd Wheel

707 x reader

Aanndd it's based off this picture I found on tumblr

However instead of selfies its video diaries :) and yes this was originally posted on my wattpad, so of you see it on there that's why, no plagiarism here

Saeran faced the camera his twin had given him. It was recording but it took him a moment to find the right words.

"A part of my "recovery" is expressing myself through journaling. However my...brother...and his..girlfriend- suggest it would probably be better to talk about my feelings than to write them. Something about better verbal communication so Sae...so Saeyo...Saeyoung gave me this camera...but MC came up with the idea first...I've only been here for- maybe two weeks...since I left..Mint Eye-"

The name of the place seemed to drag him back where he was weeks back. The pain and loneliness he felt still left the same sinking feeling in his chest, not fully able to forgive his brother but also feeling betrayed by the one person he thought cared about him. He slammed his hands on the desk the camera was placed and then soon stopped the recording and stormed off from his room, not exactly going anywhere but simply to leave behind the device that brought up those emotions.

------

He pushed record on his camera and brushed the crumbs off the corners of his mouth. "So today MC made us cookies. They tasted good. I liked them. I like her too. She's..nice. I don't know how my- how he got so lucky. I just-" He pressed his hands to his temples "I guess I just wanted to say that the cookies were good. Chocolate chip. I hope she makes more...."

------

Instead of the camera showing Saerans bedroom as it normally does, this time it was an area with concrete floors and cages full of animals.

"So Saeyoung wanted to get a cat. I feel terrible about any one of the unfortunate animals he picks today. MC will treat it okay, but Saeyoung...he just can't be trusted with cats. But he insisted. And MC agreed. So here we are."

He angled the camera to show the large collection of felines surrounding him, then to his sibling and his girlfriend examining one of the kittens.

"Really Saeyoung? I mean, I just..- don't people normally get either the cutest cat or the ugliest one? That is the most..umm..boring cat in here. Especially for your taste."

Saeyoung grinned as he picked up the grey tabby and held the pet to his chest. "Ah well I'm pretty sure the author of this is so used to seeing other authors use either an incredibly messed up cat or a perfect one and really just wanted your average house cat. You know to be original."

Both MC and Saeran looked at him quizzically, however neither of them had the the ability to reply to his comment about his choice of pet, and with 707s girlfriend being quite familiar with being left speechless, decided to simply leave and go to the adoption worker.

"Oh...oh okay she just left umm okay hold on." And he turned off the camera.

-----

"So today I got some rather exciting news. According to.. S-Saeyoung I'm going to be his "best man". Basically MC is going to be my sister!...in law? Sister in law? Sister in law yeah...they're gonna get married. I guess weddings are a big deal. They're taking several months to prepare this...I can't believe that he's able to commit to her when he-...sorry MC said that a part of my recovery is to forgive and forget. Apart of moving on so I...well I guess if anything I'll be happy for her. But I don't want to wear that jacket...."

----

The cameras view showed Saeran in a tuxedo, hair still unkempt, and a white table cloth, with a piece of uneaten cake.

"They finally got married today. They're so gross...anyways MC looks really pretty, her dress is long, I've never seen one like it. We stood at this post thing with a priest or whoever who said they could get married. It was very long and not very exciting. Eventually we got cake though and that was nice. Its not too bad at all actually. Look at them dancing. They're terrible at it."

He changes the view of the camera to the newlyweds as they clumsily danced hand in hand.

"They'll be gone for 3 days for a 'honeymoon'. Which is better for me...they're uhm...loud sometimes so...ahem I should go now."

-----

"Right now MC and I are making a gift." He points the lens to her and she lightly smiles and waves, still decorating the small box in her hands.

"Wanna show what we will put in the box?" Said camera man asked, and MC grinned and held up a stick with two lines on one end.

"We decided it was best to put this in a box before we put it in a jar of candy, you know because if not that would be incredibly gross." She explained, then dropped the object into the gift box.

"We're watching all of the Avengers movies tonight, mainly for me to catch up. He will probably eat the entire jar before the first movie even starts so I'm sure I actually won't be able to see anything..." Saeran said with a hidden grin "But it's okay, I think I would rather see Saeyoungs reaction than any movie so..."

"OMG I'M GOING TO BE A DAD??? YOU'RE GONNA BE A MOM?! AND YOU'RE GONNA BE AN UNCLE OH MY GOD-"

"Jesus Christ Saeyoung shut up you're so loud. I knew this was gonna happen that one night I couldn't sleep because you two-"

"Be civil. You're brothers. And Saeran do not finish that sentence."

-----

"Look at this!" The younger twin pointed to his sister in laws stomach, then touched a certain area and made a noise of excitement once he felt the babies movement "They move! They move! I didn't know they could feel me! Saeyoung come here! Your kid is kicking!"

-----

Idk this was surprisingly hard to write. I wanted to show Saerans recovery but also not move to fast and make him OOC (if it wasnt clear this takes place over a long period of time). Kinda failed at that. It was a cute idea but I think I bit off more than I could chew with his character, especially since Cheritz can't exactly show all of his character development, and I'm not sure what it's like to get over being brainwashed and drugged. I just really love stories where my Choi boys are united :)

Thank you for reading this junk~

[heartjwi]

high school sweethearts — lee donghyuck

GENRE | fluff, angst

SUMMARY | farewell to you, my high school sweetheart

DISCLAIMER | includes cheating (minimal)

A/N | prequel for ‘where do broken hearts go’ pls dont roast me as i havent written anything in like,,, months oof + would recommend listening to bye my first as you read this !!! + this has nothing to do with jeno’s story this is just like how i want the feel to be comprende? comprende. i just wanted to include hyuck in this lil series cs he wasnt in dnyl so yes

all your life, you never thought you could meet someone like lee donghyuck. the epitome of a high school sweetheart. he was everything you could dream of. donghyuck was perfect in your eyes and will always be, no matter what.

you first met him when you were in sixth grade, when he first transferred to your school. almost instantly, you two became friends due to your friendly persona. it’s like you two just instantly clicked and skipped the awkward stage. 

it didn’t take a while for you guys to catch feelings for each other. he was like your other half afterall. you remember it like it was yesterday, the day he asked you to be his. 

“can i ask you something?” donghyuck holds your hand while you two sit in a dark playground late at night. “anything” you smile at your best friend. donghyuck nervously laughs as he stares off somewhere else. you feel his hand get damp making you chuckle. “hyuck your hands are sweaty” you chortled, letting go of his hand. haechan wipes his sweaty hands against the fabric of his sweatpants before taking both of your hands again, swaying them.

“i hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship” he starts, making you raise a brow. “what?” you asked. donghyuck clears his throat before finally asking you the question he’s been dying to ask you. 

“will you be my girlfriend..?” he stares deeply in your eyes. you felt like the world stopped spinning for a moment, like you two were frozen in time. “it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, just forget i asked” he says slowly, averting his gaze from you to his shoes, kickng the sand. 

“hey” you cup his cheek, forcing him to look at you. “yes. i’ll be your girlfriend” you kissed his cheek making him turn red. “FUCK YES” donghyuck yells in triumph, throwing his fist up in the air. 

“you know, i’ve been wanting to ask you that since we first met” he tells you as you two walk home hand in hand.

———

for the first half of your relationship, you kept your relationship hidden from your friends. not that it was a bad thing, you just wanted to enjoy your relationship in peace without anyone lurking in your business. 

but as for someone like donghyuck who’s very much very open to the public, he publicly expressed his love for you for the first time in the middle of the cafeteria one day. 

“attention y/n!” hyuck screams into the megaphone, almost bursting everyone’s ears. “what do you want donghyuck” you groaned, not liking the attention from bystanders. “i just want to say that i love you very much” he jumps down from the cafeteria table and hands you a bouquet of flowers. pretty much surprising everyone in school 

and the crowd cheers as you take the bouquet of flowers from him and kissed him on the cheek. “and i love you too” you whisper in his ear, making him giggle.

ever since then, the school voted the two of you as the high school sweethearts.

———

just like you’ve imagined it, you never felt so loved by anyone else. donghyuck gave you everything he had. he poured his heart and soul into each thing he has done for you and you couldn’t ask for anything more. but as your relationship grows older, you found yourself growing distant from him more and more. 

during the end of junior year, you felt like you lost the spark you initially had with donghyuck. after spending almost 4 years with him, it’s bound to happen, right or so you thought. 

for donghyuck, the more he spent time with you, the more he is certain that you were gonna be his first and last. 

“good morning, baby” he kisses your forehead as you enter his car. “hey” you mumbled, not giving him a kiss back. donghyuck frowns at your sudden change of behavior. you thought he’d never notice such change but in this case, he did. he does, he always notices every little thing about you. 

“i’ll be going on a trip with my family” donghyuck starts, looking at you as he drives the both of you to school. “and?” you reply, scrolling through your phone. “i’m just saying i’ll be gone for a week..” hyuck finishes quietly, pulling up in the school’s parking lot. “that’s great i guess, hope you have fun” you tell him nonchalantly, closing the door before he could even reply.

—

and just like what donghyuck said, he was indeed gone for the week. with this, you have enough time to look back and decide if it’s worth staying with donghyuck. 

you were currently in calculus, growing bored as time passes by. luckily, you sat next to jeno, who was the top student in calculus. “hey jeno” you whispered, trying to catch his attention. “hmm?” he hums, not taking his eyes off the whiteboard.

“can you help me with this? it’s hard” you pout making jeno chuckle. “y/n that’s literally our first topic” he grabs your notebook and starts skimming through them. “and you didn’t even take notes!” he points out making you red from embarrassment. 

“but sure, i’ll help you” jeno flashes his infamous eye smile making your heart flutter. “thanks jen, you’re the best” you smile back, feeling giddy all of a sudden. 

for the rest of the class, you got to know more about jeno and you even offered if he wanted to have lunch with you. completely forgetting about your boyfriend whatsoever. 

as the days pass, you and jeno became closer and closer. currently, you were hanging out with him in a cat cafe. despite him being allergic to cats. “so tell me,” he starts, petting the cats nearby. “when did you and hyuck start dating?”

and almost instantly, all your memories of being together with hyuck flashed before your eyes. ‘did i seriously forget about my own boyfriend’ you thought to yourself. jeno notices you spaced out and snaps his fingers in front of your face.

“hello? earth to y/n?” he waves a hand over your face. “you know what, let’s talk about another thing” you faked a smile making jeno a bit confused. “okay”

later that day, you and jeno head over to the amusement park for a bit just to get your mind off things. “you seriously haven’t been to lotte world?!” he reacts. you slowly nod your head and smiled sheepishly. “well, i’m gonna have to show you around then” he proudly states before grabbing your hand and dragging you everywhere.

that was the first time you had fun in months. you stared at your hands that was intertwined with jeno’s making you blush a bit. you were about to lean your head against his shoulders before it hits you, you already have a boyfriend. 

you instantly let go of jeno’s hand and felt tears brimming in your eyes. “jen can you take me home” you asked, not daring to look at him in the eye. “what? we were just about to get in the ferris wheel” he pouts. “take me home, please” you plead, finally looked at him in the eye. jeno notices your red eyes and gets the idea.

“i had so much fun today!” jeno laughs as you hold the corndog he’s been eating the entire trip back home. “i know, thank you for that” you blushed, wiping the mayo off the side of his lips. “you got something there” you giggled. jeno shows his infamous smile for what seems like the nth time today. “we’re here!” you tell him as you see your house in the distance.

“thanks again jeno, i’ll see you on monday” you kissed his cheek making him freeze. the realization hits you a second later. “fuck” you cursed, feeling nervous all of a sudden. “jen..” you say slowly. “i know, i’m sorry too” he says quietly. “we shouldn’t tell anyone” you tell him to which he reluctantly agrees doing. “i’m really sorry, please don’t tell hyuck” you plead one last time before leaving his car. “i won’t don’t worry” was the last thing you heard before you closed his door and he sped off.

after jeno drops you off at your house, you notice a familiar car sitting in your driveway. you went near it and found donghyuck sitting inside, blankly staring at his dashboard. hyuck notices your presence and unlocks the car for you to get in.

“so, how was your date?” he asks like it’s nothing. you felt your heart drop to your stomach. ‘he knows?’ you thought to yourself. you opened your mouth to say something but hyuck beat you to it. “you think i didn’t know about your whereabouts with jeno? i’m not stupid as you think i am y/n” hyuck says seriously, showing you his phone filled with text messages from your classmates.

“i-i can explain” you stammered, trying to defend yourself. donghyuck chuckles lowly, “save it. i don’t think i can take it listening to you right now” his voice cracks at the end of his sentence making your heart shatter into pieces. a tear rolls down his cheek.

“please, i swear it’s not what it looks like!” you cried out. donghyuck scoffs, “do you really think you can fool me? i’ve known you for almost 4 years. i know when something’s up with you and the fact you had the guts to do this to me after everything we’ve been through?” he yells out in frustration, hitting the steering wheel in the process.

“after everything i’ve done for you, you do me like this” he finally cries, making you speechless. you’ve never seen haechan cry like this. 

“did you ever think of the consequences of your actions? seeing how happy you looked with him rather than me, your own fucking boyfriend? did you ever think about how i will feel about this if i see it? do you even think about me at all?” haechan rants, letting his emotions get the best of him. 

“why am i even telling you this, look at you, you don’t even care” he chuckles again, avoiding your gaze. you wiped the tears falling from your cheek, “i do. i do fucking care” you sniffled. haechan turns his head to you and shakes his head, “you don’t anymore” he smiles sadly. 

“oh yeah, i forgot i got you this” haechan chucks a fancy box onto your lap. you shakily grab and opened the box to reveal a necklace with his initials making you cry even more. “i got your initials to match with mine but i think it’s different now” he croaks. you shake your head no and tried to hold his hand but he swatted it away.

“don’t touch me” he says, “please” he wipes his tears. “hyuck please, i’m sorry! i swear it’s not what it looks like” you sobbed onto your hands. “you know, it hurts me seeing you cry like this” donghyuck stares at your shaking figure. “but after what you did to me, i’m not really sure anymore” 

it grows quiet inside his car, just the sound of your sniffles can be heard. “i need some time to think about this— about us” donghyuck starts. “you’ll know when i’ve made up my mind” he finishes. you hiccuped, “please don’t leave me” making hyuck’s heart hurt even more. “i’m not too sure about that” he looks down.

you took this as a sign for you to get out of his car and out of his life as well. without saying another word, you stepped out of his car and silently closed the door. “i’m sorry” you murmured to yourself before stepping inside your house.

donghyuck stares at your back the entire time you went inside your house. hyuck starts his engine and leaves your driveway. “guess she never really loved me the way i loved her” he laughs to himself, ripping the dangling locket he had on his rear view mirror, speeding off to who knows where to clear his head and to fix his broken heart.

[iamsonyeondone]

plus one // kim doyoung

♥  florist! doyoung x wedding planner! reader 

♥  fluff!

♥  2.5k words

as much as your job required you to run multiple errands and search for whatever the bridezillas were so persistent to having

it was still something you had fun doing especially when you get clients who were unexpectedly easy-going

but even if they werent, you tried your best to look at the brightside

and maybe also confide in the multiple shop owners you had gotten to know through your job

irene, the owner of the boutique that you would always recommend to your clients, is always a sweetheart to you whenever she sees you drop by to check on the dresses

when i meant sweetheart, i meant the kind where she really takes care of you like a motherly figure

“are you sure you’ve gotten enough to eat? wendy stopped by with lunch and she brought some extra. have lunch with me?”

or “did you stain your dress shirt again? change into this one and i’ll take care of that stain,” as she casually whips out detergent and fabric softener from in between the dresses????

but you also have the bakery where you accidentally become the food critic for kun because he cant trust his nephew's friends because they’ll eat anything edible

especially jaemin who may or may not have sneaked behind the counter to make his own concoction of coffee because kun wouldnt’t let them in

but thats because the last time they went into the kitchen, they nearly burnt the building down

anYways, whenever you meet kun its always the usual “try this” “yn what do you think?” “is it a little too sweet?”

and you try your best to give whatever knowledge you have from cakes that your clients have ordered

and kun would have this big smile, thanking you before he rushes off to the kitchen again

aside from the two most loveliest people you’ve ever met on the job, theres was one other person who wasn’t as lovely

or at least not as welcoming

kim dongyoung, the florist you always order from but you just wished he would be a little less,,, sarcastic

it’s not like you hated him for being him

you just cant wrap your mind around the fact that nearly every sentence that comes out from his mouth would be sarcastic

like that one time you couldn’t pronounce peonies and pronounced them as ponies instead and he looked at you with That Look

as if you couldn’t pronounce cat or something

“this isn’t a stable yn. if you wanted to see horses, this isn’t the place you should be going to,”

and sometimes he gets on your nerves when you call out to him and he just ignores you because you’re just dropping by to check on the bouquet order

and he just goes like “did yall hear sumn?”

but one day, when you were absolutely exhausted from tending to a third-level bridezilla aka the second worst kind, and you had your last stop at the flower shop

you went in as per usual and asked if doyoung had already prepared the bouquet you asked him to prepare the day before

and doyoung scoffs, “you think?” 

and it wasn’t even half as bad as he usually teased you

but you’re suddenly in tears and it most definitely caught doyoung off-guard

like he’s always seen you remain firm and strong no matter how annoying he gets most of the times

but to see you in shambles like this made him feel like the biggest douchebag on earth

instead of showing you the bouquet, he brings a tissue box from his desk and wipes your tears, repeating his apologies as much as he could

and as your sniffling and hiccuping from your breakdown, doyoung curses in his head

because he’s the biggest idiot, getting his heart shattered just by looking at your distress

“kun came by because he wasn’t on shift today and knew you would be coming later so he dropped off some bagels and coffee if you wanted. he said it was another experiment,”

while your throat still felt like a pit was stuck in it, you nodded your head slowly while doyoung fetched the paperbag and a cup from his desk

the two of you sat in silence while you nibbled on the bag, thinking to yourself to thank kun when you see him

and doyoung just sits on the opposite side, leaning back on his chair with his arms folded

and you feel like he’s burning a hole through your head with his eyes and couldnt help but take a few glances his way

and he’s just staring right at you

as if he was too far into dream land to notice you were looking back at him

the way his face looked a little solemn, which was unusual for you to see him in that state

that was until you remembered the little breakdown from earlier and your eyes shift away from his dark ones

you couldnt handle the silence any longer, fidgeting in your seat as you sipped your drink

“im...sorry for earlier. it was a rough day and-”

“i’m the one who was supposed to apologize, you don’t have to,” he cut you off, sighing as he combed through his hair with his fingers

“yeah but it must’ve been awkward seeing me be a crybaby,”

and doyoung bites his tongue from agreeing with you 

“we all have our moments, im just glad you dont see mine,” 

you gasp dramatically, placing a hand on your chest, an obvious attempt to lighten the mood

“kim dongyoung cries too,”

“ha ha very funny. I’m not a robot you know,” he rolled his eyes and somehow, seeing you with that growing smile on your face lifted a weight he didnt know had been on his shoulders

“anyways, i need to close up shop now so make sure you got all your things,” he waved his hand, dismissing you as he locked up the back room and packed his belongings

just as you slung your bag over your shoulder, a picture of him and kun as well as their friends were framed and put on his desk

and you weren’t sure how you weren’t able to spot such a striking photo full of a huge group of guys

but when you see doyoung smiling so brightly in the photo, you couldn’t help but smile as well

“if you’re done oggling my friends, you could maybe get out before you get locked in?” he raised a brow, leaving the door open as he waited for you to leave

as he locked the main doors, you couldnt help but imagine that big grin on his face

“why don’t you ever smile as often?” you questioned him out of the blue

“i dont see a need to.” he replied nonchalantly, walking off once the entrance was locked

“whatever floats your boat i guess. by the way...” you trailed off, stopping him in his tracks as he turned back to face you

“thank you, doyoung,” you smiled, waving him goodbye before rushing off to the other direction

for some reason, your cheeks felt like they had been lit on fire and the tightening feeling around your chest felt unfamiliar

and while you were too busy fussing over symptoms that would have been obvious to the public eye, doyoung watched your figure disappear while a smile grew on his face

with a small chuckle he turned the other way and huffed

“maybe smiling isnt that bad,” he mumbled under his breath, taking slower than usual in his walk back home

a week passes and said third-level bridezilla's wedding had finally arrived

and you've never felt more tired than you did in your entire college life

with barely 2 hours of sleep, you rushed around the venue with your clipboard in hand, checking things off your list once they were prepared

after the main hall had been done, it was finally your time to do your job as councellor for the bride but a tap on your shoulder stops you from rushing to the waiting room

"yn? cant believe you forgot something so important," doyoung smirks, pointing to a bouquet of fresh flowers in his other hand

you sigh, thanking him profusely as you took it carefully into your arms

your concealer wasnt doing a good job in hiding your dark circles, and the stray strands of hair that were sticking out from your once styled hair made you look unkempt

"is there anything else you need help with? im free for the rest of the day," doyoung asks without hesitation

remembering the mental breakdown you had that day was a good enough reason to ask you

"i dont- i dont think so but i need to go and see the bride before it starts and then check if the groom's ready and most importantly the rings and the ringbearers are probably with the groom too-"

"I'll check on the groom and the ringbearers, while you go tackle that monster in the waiting room," he chuckle

and you see this wide smile plastered on his face

and for a split second, your heart nearly jumps right out of your chest

but when the thought of the bride comes wrecking through, you thank him once again, running down the hallway with your clipboard close to your chest

while doyoung jogs off to find the groom, his heart racing for one reason only

as your calming the bride down with the second box of tissues, trying your best to maintain the makeup that the makeup artist had painstakingly done for 2 whole hours

doyoung was more than ready, already ensuring the groom’s outift as well as the ringbearer who was the groom’s adorable nephew

all that’s left was to wait for the event to begin

once the bride had calmed down and successfully did not wipe the hours of work on her face, you checked on the bridesmaids before heading off to the venue

just as you walked down the halls, you see doyoung walking ahead of you

as quietly as you could, you sneaked up behhind him, grabbing his shoulders and scaring him

yet doyoung didnt even make a sound

until you pouted and he couldnt resist letting out the most sarcastic yell paired with the most unamused expression

"sheesh, you could've just stopped at not reacting rather than give me the shittiest one you've ever given me," you huffed, brushing your stray strands of hair as the both of you walked side by side

"but it was entertaining seeing you fail, so it wasn't really a failure was it?" he teased

and yet the endearing gesture of his to brush the annoying strand of hair behind your ear is the only thing you can notice

"y-yeah whatever. besides, is everything ready on the groom’s side?” you questioned, avoiding his eyes

“he’s practically ready to say his vows right now. what about the bride? heard she had the sixth mental breakdown today,” he chuckled while you groaned, massaging your temples

“she started crying about her double chin because she’s been stress-eating the past week so the make-up artists had to contour her chin a little more,” your story made doyoung burst out laughing, and although it caught you by surprise, you laughed along, relishing in the rare moment

“let’s get this over and done with,” his smile still shining after his laughing fit

“we?” you raised a brow

“you really think you can handle this bridezilla alone?” he smirked

“let’s do this then,” with a final look and a loud thump of your heart, you and doyoung head over to the venue 

everything went on smoother than you had planned - the bride only started crying after her vows, the cute nephew didnt trip over his own two chubby feet and everything was done just as it did during rehearsals

you couldnt control the relieved smile on your lips and doyoung might have not be able to control his eyes from watching you every once in a while, his smile mirroring yours

“now all that’s left is the reception in two hours. see you later then?” you asked doyoung while everyone else scattered out of the venue

“of course you will. before i go, wear something blue,” he flashed you another smile before rushing out of the doors

did he...ask you that for the two of you to match?

you shake your head from the clouds while your heart raced once more

doyoung really has a way of creeping into your heart

as the reception began and you were walking from one end to another to ensure everything was ready, you dont notice doyoung walking in with a navy blue suit, his hair swept back

because if you did, you would have stopped entirely and knocked into one of the waiters

which was something you nearly did if it werent for one of the bride’s sisters

“did i see what i think i saw, yn?” in a second, doyoung was now in front of you and that damn smirk of his on display

“shut up, you didnt see anything. and anyways, why did you ask me to wear blue anyway? i had to ask irene to borrow me one,” you sighed, brushing off imaginary dust off of your outift to distract you from how good-looking doyoung had become

not like he wasnt good-looking in the first place

“to match with me obviously, i can’t come here uninvited so i guess i’m you’re plus one for now,” he shrugged when in reality, its making it hard for him to breathe and difficult for him to not only focus on you

“i completely forgot-”

“yn! thank you for helping my sister with her wedding- oh is this your boyfriend? is he the one in charge of the bouquet?” the sister’s bride grins wide while the two of you exchanged anxious looks

“y-yeah, he’s the one who arranged the bouquet. how is the outfit change going?” you mustered up a sweet smile to cover your raging heart as you linked arms with doyoung, nudging him to play along

“oh everything’s fine, dont worry about it. by the way, if you guys ever plan on tying the knot, dont fret to call me, i will gladly lend a helping hand,” but before she could go on about marriage, she was pulled to the side by her cousin, leaving you and doyoung 

“to make this easier, why dont i just be your actual plus one?” doyoung shrugged, sneaking his fingers to intertwine with yours instead, making you freeze on the spot

“what?” you nearly snap your head from turning to look at him

“did i stutter?” he squeezes your hand, a small smile adorning his face

“wait, the feelings are mutual?-” you stutter, still wide-eyed from his sudden confession

“oh god you’re such an idiot, but i guess you’re my idiot now,” he let out a tired chuckle, holding you by the waist and pressing a gentle kiss to your temple

kim dongyoung was actually a lovely florist

he just had no idea how to handle ‘feelings’

a/n: its been so long since i wrote that im having so much trouble making sense of my words but i hope you guys like it!!

[zeynepbal]

Rice Smell

I still am sick, in a really bad condition; not getting better but I need to until tomorrow, at least a bit. So staying at home; with a huge hope.

I wasnt able to read a single page yesterday, wondering if I can today.. Hope I can today.. Seems like I can make my mind to write today at least..

I wanted to write this yesterday but had no strength to make up my mind to make proper sentences - even in Turkish.. thus now; I ll leave something here about yesterday..

At some point, yesterday, early in the morning, I felt like I needed to eat sth to drink pills to support my body against the cold I caught and the infection. And as a turkish what I wanted to eat was rice soup with yogurt.. It s the basic stuff, at least in my small family, prepared when some one is sick.. thus I put some rice into ricecooker with huge amount of water and left home to buy yogurt. Since I was pretty sure the half oack of yogurt wouldnt be enough for me..

While going for shopping there s a cleaning center placed in a narrow street which makes the whole place smell like a cozy sunday in a very past days of my life. I tried to smell it via passing by but wasnt that successful because of my mucus fullfilled sinuses.. either I was abit or I just believed that I could, I smelt a tiny amount of an old sunday tho... That directly took me questioning why altho I didnt like that smell thru out my life, now it feels so cozy in heart to feel it... then I though where I wanna be is just next to my family. Because I missed them a lot, I just am longing for anything that reminds me the days that I were with them..

And I entered into the shopping street with these thoughts where I saw that the markets were going to open at 10 and it was 9.48 yet.. I kept on thinking the talk that we made 2 days before yesterday with Y. in the car while trying to go to the christmas party place. We were speaking about the charms and amulets and she was telling me a jinja in nanba; where people can get some protection stuff against bad luck.. And I was like “well I need sth like that..It seems so” then she told me about a belief in japan, that at 30s there s an age for women which is known as “bad luck” age..and I told her it should be 34 for me already, since the only good thing happened this year was the award we took, but nothing more... she smiled and told me she gonna check it..

Yesterday when I remembered that talk I remebered also we forgot to check it... Then I thought, I actually dont believe that a certain age can be a bad luck age for every person etc but I do am kind a superstitious person in a different way. I do believe that there are some certain stuff that can protect us from bad luck or danger since they have some connection with the people that loves us.. or if a person has some kind of special connection with an animal for example the image of that animal can protect that person... or I sometimes believe some kind of stones may have good energy effects on people etc...

So I started thinking about I wasnt wearing my owl necklace for a week which is kind an amulet for me for years... At that point I saw a clinic named as “owl plastic surgery clinic” and smiled.. I remember the reason behind why my family searched so hard to find a necklace of owl in whole ankara, Turkey, years ago. - altho turkish people think that owl is the representative of wisdom as an animal, we dont have mant stuff in shape of an owl- . When my mom and dad one day appeared with an owl necklace as a valentines day present for me, I remember their explanation. To them I till childhood was a child who had a different point of view from other people and this was also whT they always heard from my senseis as an admiration. Altho I always am so emotional as a 10 year old child, when people start talking me about some politics history etc I remember their telling me that I am more than my age but this more is 30 years more almost... So No matter how I seemed with my not growing old heart and not mature enough emotional world, I was always the person whom can find many people around that are ready to be led by. Even some of my friends were telling me that I seemed like a puppy or as a spoiled baby cat normally but when I started speaking I turned out to be an 🦉 owl... thus they told me -my pa and ma- that they put an effort to find that necklace...

After that day, (may be after a year) I found myself in Tsukuba Japan, for 2.5 months, a city which has the symbol of owls.. :) and that 2.5 months were one of the most important phase of my life which tumbled all my plans down and made me chang everything in my long term plans.. and I decided to came to japan...

Well.. yesterday while I was walking back home via thinking of these stuff I decided I need an amulet again, to protect myself from bad luck but it also needs to be something special so I cannot basicly go and buy somestuff without any meaning in it..

I came back home, I opened the door and what I smelled was a boiling rice.. that took me to my childhood.. the smell of boiling rice may be one of the things that I love in this world more than anything since my childhood. I took a deep breath that took me to a moment that I was opening the lid of the pan to steal some boiled rice while my father was questioning me via telling me he didnt understand me why I did like boiled rice without anything on it - neither yogurt nor oil or salt... Yes I did know that not only to my family but to most of the turkish people it was a really strange habit. But it was something I was feeling extremely happy while eating it: pure rice.

Those white grains and that smell...

Then I remembered that when I asked my family two days ago why they didnt send me any letters but a huge pack full of stuff... I didnt need any of them but a letter was okay.. and they asked me if I checked the okashi box... they told me no letter but a small note... so I suddenly opened the okashi(snacks) bag and searched for the note and found it and pulled it, that came with a small box... When I opened the box I found 2 earrings one of them is in the shape of an owl... started crying...

Sometimes life is so quick to answer you and sometimes what you want is just at the next door or in front of you but you just are not aware of it, altho you are living with it for days in the same room.

I felt like I need no more special amulets that I need to buy for myself and now it s time for me to wait life to bring that kind of stuff.. and that owl ear rings like the other stuff that were given me by the people love me already are amulets in my life however those owl earrings are kind of a message for me - that what I understood is that I will keep for myself -

Love you mom and dad

Love you a lot

[jamiedodgerart]

the fade is a liar sometimes

aka, a really long post about how mal hawke survived dragon age inquisition. warning for big but kinda vague spoilers for dai and mentions of alcoholism

ok full disclosure i dont know how he survived the fade. but im thinking the nightmare like. didnt wake back up in time to block the way through the portal, and so never caused the Do I Kill The Warden Or Hawke dilemma. cos. that was kiiiiiiiinda bullshit. 

i had to pick between alistair and mal. and i really didnt want mal to be actually really dead bc at the time of here lies the abyss he’d be in a really shitty place, mentally, and i didnt want him to just! die! without resolving that! so i gave canon the finger and concocted a convoluted plan to give mal a better ending

background, after the events of da2, he ended up leaving kirkwall and fuckin’ around in the woods for a bit. i imagine he was helping refugees get out for a little while, until anders showed up and convinced him to help groups of renegade mages/circles on the verge of winning their independence. at this point he was pretty sick of the world at large, didn’t know what he wanted or where he was going to go next, and let himself be (guided? directed? pushed around?) by anders, drinking himself into oblivion and generally feeling like garbage. he fell out of contact with most of his remaining friends and began convincing himself that he was guilty for the explosion, by trusting anders (he’d suspected something was wrong with the ingredients anders was asking for and confronted him about it, but trusted him and helped him by distracting the grand cleric)

i rambled about this on my private twitter but mal and anders... ended up not being a great fit for one another and past me said it better than present me can

eventually, the inquisition came into being and grew in power. anders, still being a wanted man and mal too by association, avoided the inquisition’s patrols pretty easily. but stories started to spread about the inquisitor and his... particularly creative justice. see, pica really likes choices that have some poetic irony to them that also focus on rebuilding (he had alexius work for the mages, stuff like that), generally avoids executions, and is pretty chill with mages. the inquisition is also independent of any government, really, and is about as impartial as you can get in thedas. so when mal gets word from varric that corypheus is back, a problem, and something they need mal’s help with (that is also, in his professional opinion, his fault), he gets an idea.

he heads to skyhold, meets pica (who read the tale of the champion, asks varric questions about it constantly, was expecting a hero, and was not expecting the hero to be a depressed alcoholic) and iunno here lies the abyss happens with the aforementioned edit of no one important dying (i guess i could kill alistair and preserve a kind of important turning point in pica’s character with an added bonus of giving mal another thing to have survivor’s guilt about but i dont think i could go through with it. imagine the emotional toll. pica could get that change some other way anyway) mal by this point has gotten to know pica fairly well and has found what he’s heard to be true, and gives him a proposition

(i would like to add now that while ive read asunder, until i looked it up just now i didn’t remember where it sits in the timeline relative to da2, and it wasnt super clear to me just how much each of the two events affected the mage/templar war. so some text in sketches might be inaccurate, historically)

so you can imagine that anders is Pissed Off by this development, but justice is kinda like 

cos like. pica Is a real actual authority figure. who is down to dispense some quality justice esp re mages. and is coming at it from a “yo i know you meant well and you did kinda have a point but you also killed a lot of people so there does have to be Some kind of consequence of that”

(but neither of them are at all happy with mal turning them in)

anyway the trial ends up including a full investigation of the events in kirkwall, as well as the events at the spire (cole, rhys, and evangeline all give their testimony) and it’s more a straightening out of what was up with the whole start of this shitshow anyway, cos the confusion and misinformation about it is probably the worst part. 

pica finds anders guilty and sentences him to community service, which a lot of people disagreed with. pica thinks it was a GREAT IDEA though because that community service comes in the form of anders teaching the inquisition mages about healing magic!! something that anders is good at, loves doing, and can actually help people with!! why are we still fuckin about with herbs when there’s magic!!!!! this also has the added bonus of making mages less scary to the general populace- chuckin’ fireballs is a lot more alien and intimidating than healing up a broken arm, yknow? it can help mages seem more human and good for society than they were, separated from the public in towers.

anders is still a prisoner, though, which hes super not happy about, and part of his sentence is also that dagna gets to study him. he and samson are in grudging solidarity in the face of tolerating her extreme cheerfulness. and maybe he gets a cat too. i wonder if he and samson could talk about how shitty the chantry is re: lyrium addiction in templars? its obvs not on the scale of mage shittiness but it could be an interesting discussion

see in the grand scheme of things mal really didnt do all that much. he was duped by a lover into doing something he 100% would not have done if hed known what was actually going on. i feel like the most anyone could bust him on was aiding and abetting. and maybe helping hide an apostate. mal was found, as pica informally put it while distracted by looking at a transcript of a kirkwall templar’s testimony, “kinda guilty? just like. if ur asked to help blow up a chantry dont do it again” but cassandra elbowed him really hard and he said “look ok your sentence is, fuck, i dunno, work for the inquisition. what do you wanna do”

that was not what mal was expecting and he didnt have an answer. and pica looked at him and said “ill give you some time to figure it out, ok. just. take care of yourself, man. u look like shit” which got him another elbow, which he returned to cass with equal force

anyway. mal is now officially Not Guilty in the court of the law. which fuckin sucks bc that assessment does absolutely NOTHING to stop his shit brain from keeping being guilty about everything. so he tries to quit drinking, fails, and just has a rough time in general, while also sometimes visiting anders in prison. which probably really doesn’t help.

ENTER WARDEN-COMMANDER OF FERELDAN, MADRANA “MAD” TABRIS, AND HER PARTNER/GF/ADULT SUPERVISION EMMARIE “EMMY” COUSLAND

(you may also know mads as hester, as i called her in previous playthroughs. hester’s not a really elfy name and shes grown far enough away from her namesake that i felt a change was warranted. also emmy was created by @1500birds. i love her)

thats them (mads then emmy) so mad tabris, legendary fighter, unkillable blight-ender, bather in darkspawn blood, and general bottle covey is looking for a challenge. its been like ten years since shes had an actually hard battle to win and she’s near skyhold, and she’s heard that mal hawke, another legendary fighter, is also in the area. oh and some cadash guy. hes apparently good too. also, she’s looking for some way out of the whole grey warden death sentence thing. shes not keen on dying unless she’s killed, ydig, and apparently skyhold’s doing a lot of groundbreaking research these days

she and emmy swing on in to skyhold and finds that hawke is, well, a mess

important background. mads is not good at dealing with other peoples’ emotions. so shes not really equipped to deal with this. emmy, however, is kind, has nerves of steel, loves to help people, and is Very equipped to deal with this. and so the two of them adopt mal. (even though hes older than both of them.) 

theyve got really, really different ways of trying to help mal. emmy is a great listener, and understands survivor’s guilt and the lost-all-my-family brand of trauma pretty well. she helps him sort through all the shit that’s happened to him and offers a lot of support. and hugs. by god shes a hugger. also theyve got a symbiotic cuddling relationship bc emmy is always cold and mal is always warm, so they platonically nap together sometimes. mads is unfortunately too wriggly and pointy to be a good cuddler :’( she squeezes in the mix sometimes anyway though and it’s uncomfortable but nice

mads’s method of helping mal is in her area of expertise: getting out pent-up negative emotion by fighting. for a long time, mal has internalized a lot of shit, and mads is really good at annoying him into either yelling or punching out that shit. shes doing it out of concern for his well-being, she swears, and not because she takes joy in pissing people off. she does but thats not the point. it’s not a perfect strategy but it does help a lot

unfortunately for her, sometimes mal can be downright vindictive when drunk and angry, and can hit on the few things she’s insecure about

(i would really love to make a post about mads sometime, cos she ended up being a lot deeper of a character than i originally intended. i really just wanted a really sharp angry lady who fought with the subtlety of a brick to the face, and ended up getting that plus bravado covering up a whole host of insecurities. i feel like i should finish dao before writing it up though ahah)

(what mal said is also not totally accurate- mads cares very much for emmy. but yknow how when things get heated it doesn’t really matter if they’re really accurate anymore- they just have to be close enough to get a reaction, ydig)

anyway! the two of them together help mal get his life back in order- he cuts down and eventually quits drinking, starts taking better care of himself, and gets more of a handle on life. i guess you’re probably wondering where varric is, right around now. so am i mal pushed away a lot of people close to him after da2, including varric. but varric kept looking out for him (lying to cassandra to protect him, using his network of contacts to keep an eye on where he and anders were operating). when mal comes to skyhold i think he’d try to avoid varric out of guilt- yknow how when it’s been a really long time since you’ve talked to someone, and you know you should have called them back, but you never did, and they kept asking how you were, and you want to be in an actually good place before you call them back, but shit keeps happening, and it’s been like two years since youve said anything to them, and then you see them and do some serious acrobatics trying to stay out of their sight so you don’t have to confront their honest interest in your well-being that they have no right to still have after so long with no word from you, and you have to make it seem like you havent been avoiding them because that would be rude, and really it’s just easier to be constantly vigilant of where they are and make sure youve got plausible reason to be leaving casually yet quickly

well mal did that. emmy had to physically bar his way from escaping a room once when varric came in, and dragged him by the scruff of the neck to talk to him. varric was painfully understanding and ended up hitting it off nicely with emmy

so! someday mal gets a job. specifically, pica gives him one. because he still owes the world some community service. with his experience as a hunter and highwayman, he becomes a scout!

whoaaa color

more specifically, mal becomes a... specialized type of scout. some idiot who shall not be named but whose name sounds a whole lot like pica cadash gave him command of a small squad of scouts, heavier armored and armed than average inquisition scouts but not heavy enough to count as infantry soldiers. their job is to dismantle highwayman and rogue mercenary bands, in whatever way necessary. so! originally this was supposed to mean sneak attacks on their strongholds or whatever, but mal talked with him about his own experiences with crime (mostly that most people in his crew back then were in it out of necessity, and needed money to support family) and the squad kind of became. really heavy recruiters. it became kind of a joke that the inquisition would take anyone- and they would! practically any skillset could be used in an organization as big as the inquisition, and at this point it was still growing

like. barely any exaggeration here

so that’s where he is pre-trespasser! thank u for reading and if youve got questions or want to learn more PLEASE ask i lov my ocs and love talking about them

i want to add that in @1500birds‘s latest playthrough (miranda trevelyan, a pro-chantry mage cullenmancer) mal rags on cullen endlessly

that was supposed to be the playthrough where he survives the fade, but then bran realized that miranda would kinda hate mal and would 100% leave him behind

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML: Scarlet Lady Au: Dark Cupid Part 1

(Based on @zoe-oneesama Kwami swap au. This is the one you guys wanted to see. So lets get to it)

______________________________________________________________________

No, this isnt right at all. Adrien thought to himself as he erased the same sentence he had been trying to write for the last thirty minutes.

The class was talking about Fairy tales about true loves kiss and why in most fairy tales it is able to break any spell. Adrien normally would be all whole heartedly listening to the Lesson, but he wanted to make sure this love letter is perfect.

“Adrien, I hope what you’re writing has to do with my lesson,” The teacher called out to him. It seems she noticed how the blond teen seemed more invested in what he was writing then the lesson she had been teaching. “Can you tell me what I said?”

The class watched expecting for the blond teen to stumble on the response. But the model was more then use to multitasking.

“Thats why in most fairytales, the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess because only love conquers hate.” Adrien Rattled off with ease, catching the teacher off guard, but she was none the less impressed.

“Very good Adrien.” The teacher praised. The black haired teen that sat behind him smiled in relief, relieved that her friend wasnt gonna get in trouble for not paying attention.

“Now Class, don't forget to finish ‘Sleeping Beauty’ by Charles Perrault tonight. And Happy Valentines day students.” The Teacher stated as her class was packing up to leave with the class belling ringing. 

The black haired teen shifted close to her friend.

“You go ahead, I am gonna meet you outside. I want to give Adrien the valentine’s day gift I got him.” She confided. The reddish brown haired blogger nodded at her friend.

The designer had made valentine’s day gifts for most of the class. She passed out most of them already and wasn't able to give Adrien’s his yet because he arrived late. Adrien’s, Alya’s and Nino’s were given a bit more effort as she considers them her closest friends.

The rest of the class left while Adrien kept writing. Why was this so hard? Adrien pondered.

“Hey Adrien.” a familiar voice spoke. He looked up to see his fellow classmate and crush in front of him. His Cheeks turned bright red and he crumpled up the paper.

“Mari-Marinette. Hey- hi. How goes?” Adrien stammered in surprise.  Real smooth Adrien. He mentally insulted himself.

“Sorry for interrupting.” Marinette apologized. “You seem really invested in writing, so I will be brief.”

“You’re Fi...It! It is fine. I kind of have writer’s block. So what can I help you with.” Adrien recovered slightly.

Marinette giggled a bit and went into her backpack to pull out a small bakery box.

“Happy Valentines day.” She exclaimed with a smile. Adrien felt his heart beating like a drum inside his chest. A valentine from his crush, his macaroon maiden? His Caffeine queen? Adrien felt his smile grow.

“Wow, Marinette. I... thank you.” He smiled as he opened to see the delicious Chocolate and Coffee Macaroon  with His Initials Written in beautiful cursive. 

“Its beautiful.”

“I am glad you liked it. Alya’s and Nino’s came out really nice too.” She said as she unintentionally shattered his dreams. “I wanted to make sure all my friends got something good for today.”

Friends? Just friends? Adrien felt the word echo in his mind. Yes, he knew they were friends. He was happy they were friends. But he really wanted to be more then friends. Hearing how the chocolate that he got from the love of his life was a gesture of friendship, felt more like a dagger to the heart rather then the blessing he once thought.

Adrien knew he was overreacting. It was selfish to think such things. Marinette was an irreplaceable friend in his life. So he internalized his thoughts and kept his smile. After all, they were friends for now. That didn't mean there wasn't a chance for that to change. Plus, anytime he can see Marinette’s smile is always worth it.

“Thank you Marinette. Ill be sure to repay your kindness.” Adrien answered softly. He felt his words were true, maybe his gift will be enough to have her see him in a new light.

“Don't worry about it. Seeing your appreciation is thanks enough” Marinette smiled. “Ill see you later Adrien, I gotta go take care of a few things.”

Adrien watched as the designer walked out of the classroom. A black cat kwami flew out of his bag.

“Ouch. That has to sting.” The kwami commented.

“Plagg, Marinette got me something for Valentine’s day. Its an amazing gift.”

“Yea, nice of your ‘Friend’ to give you such a friendly gift.” Plagg emphasized the word friend.

“There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it gives me a reason to repay her kindness with an amazing gift of my own.” Adrien exclaimed with vigor.

Plagg rolled his eyes.

“You are too optimistic sometimes. So what is this Amazing gift you are gonna get her?”

“I have no idea.” Adrien answered as he stood up from the desk. He snapped a photo of the Macaroon with his phone before eating it. It tasted like he was floating in a chocolate and coffee cloud as he was covered with a warm blanket of bliss and love. He happily tossed the crumpled paper he had been writing on in the trash before walking out of the empty classroom, where he was greeted by his blonde childhood friend and her orange headed lackey, the latter of whom was holding what appeared to be a rolled up poster.

“Hi Adrien!” The blonde exclaimed with a wave and a smile right before gesturing to the poster. “Sign here please.” 

“Come on, you know I hate signing autographs chloé” Adrien stated flatly, his mood had shifted to a more bored expression.

Chloe laughed.

“That is not what this is.” Chloé lied as her assistant shook her head. “ This is a petition against Cruelty to hamsters. Have you seen some of the ugly sweaters they are forced to wear? It is horrible.”

Chloé offered Adrien the marker as the red head moved forward so the blond model could sign it.

He sighed, she was lucky that he didn't want to waste time arguing. He wanted to start working on his thank you gift for Marinette. So he sighed and signed the ‘petition’.

Adrien walked away leaving a rather thrilled, Chloé with the poster.

“We got it.” Chloé happily exclaimed. “The other girls are gonna be super jealous.”

“That great Chloé. Though didn't Adrien seem a bit unusual to you? He seemed like he was a bit happier before he greeted you.” The orange haired girl pointed out.

“Jeez Sabrina, way to ruin my moment. Go meet me outside, so I can enjoy the moment by myself.”

Sabrina nodded and Left Chloé in the class room.

“Your friend has a point.” a red kwami spoke as it flew out of Chloé’s bag. “Not to mention the fact that using Adrien’s autograph is very misleading.”

“Oh be quiet Tikki. Sooner or later we will become an item, so this isnt misleading at all.” Chloé defended.

The red kwami rolled her eyes.

“Adrien does seem like a sweet boy, writing a love letter while in the middle of class.”

“Love letter? What are you talking about?”

“Well, what else would he be writing with such interest?”

Chloé remember’s Adrien throwing something out before walking out of the class. She also remembered that Marinette also left the class before her and Sabrina showed up with the poster.

“Wait... you don't think Adrien is in love with another girl do you?” Chloé questioned as her suspicious started to cloud her happy moment.

Tikki clearly understood that this was the truth. The ladybug kwami didn't need to watch much, but even she could see that boy was clearly in love with the baker’s daughter. The one that smelled like fresh baked goods. Tikki finds herself wishing she had that sweet girl as her partner instead of Chloé, not that the red Kwami would ever say that out loud.

“It isnt impossible...” Tikki answered, trying not to anger Chloé. 

Chloé thought for a moment.

Could Adrien be in love with someone else? Could it be... Chloe shook her head. Of course that wasn't possible. If Adrien was in love with someone, she would know.

“Forget it, No way Adrikins would be in love with someone else. Come on, lets go find Sabrina. We have some people to gloat to.”

Chloé held her poster a bit tighter and ignored her Kwami’s blatant sigh.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Operation Valentine’s day is commencing.” A bespectacled teen stated. “According to extensive research and cross-referencing of online shopping sites, this particular jewel was ranked highest in popularity.”

The teen reveals the heart shaped box and hands it over to his much more athletic friend with the blond dyed front spike hairdo. The athletic teen takes the box and opens it to examine the gift. He smiles and air pumps his fist.

“Its perfect Max.” The teen exclaimed confidently. “ Ill be sure to hit a homerun with this one. Love is like baseball y’know? You gotta have a strategy or youre gonna strike out. But If you aim right you'll aim it out of the ball park! SCORE!”

Max’s felt a bit lost by his friend’s baseball analogy but maintained his smile. The athlete’s excitement managed to catch the eye of a curious reddish brown haired blogger who saw the lovely jewel from a distance. The blogger grabbed her black haired friend’s arm pulling her to the two teens in order to get a closer look.

“Well yes Kim. A lovely metaphor.” Max encouraged.

“Metawho?”

“Oooh, Sparkly.” Alya commented as she looked at the gift Kim was holding. Marinette approached to look from the other side.

“Is that for Moi.” Alya teased.

Kim pulled his arm back and protected the gift.

“Negative Alya! The recipient of this Gem has already been determined. Its..” Max spoke up to protect his friend only to be interrupted by Kim who covers the geeky teen’s mouth with his hand.

“Shhh! Keep it on the down low.” Kim spoke anxiously.

Alya found this far more interesting then the jewel.

“SCOOP! Kim’s got a major crush! Whose the lucky lady?” Alya asked as she turned on her phone camera.

Thankfully for the athletic teen, Marinette motioned for Alya to put the camera down.

“It’s gorgeous Kim. She is gonna be ecstatic.” The designer girl complimented.

Kim smiles as he rubs the back of his head.

“Technically, she’s gotta accept it.” Kim answered, his smile turned to dread as he realizes the possibility he could get rejected.

“WHAT IF SHE SAYS NO?!” Kim questioned in horror. The thoughts of rejection now seeping out of his once confident attitude.

“She won't Kim! No way! Don't hold back Kim! Go for it! No Regrets!” Marinette encouraged. Bringing the Nervous Kim back to full confidence.

“You're right! Operation Valentine’s day is underway!” Kim exclaimed as he high fived Max.

Max hands Kim a map and pointed out the route of the girl he was going to ask out. The smart teen explained that if Kim ran at a certain pace, he would catch her at the ideal place to ask her out. Marinette and Alya giving Kim encouraging smiled.

“Thanks you guys!” Kim exclaimed before taking off to go meet his crush.

Alya then nudges Marinette.

“Speaking of Valentines day. I believe a know of a certain someone that has been working for a while on a gift for a certain cat.”

“Alya!” Marinette turned Beet red.

“How is that ‘Special gift’ coming anyway?” Alya asked.

“I am almost done with it. I spent the morning making the macaroons for you guys. So I was gonna that after school.” Marinette answered.

Alya smiled at her friend.

“I am sure that Chat noir will love it.” Alya answered with a smile. “Though a card to go along with it would be a good idea.”

Marinette considered Alya’s suggestion.

“That is a great idea.” She hugs her best friend. 

Alya smiled as she returned the hug.

“You go work on your gift, Ill get you the perfect card to write on.”

“You are the best.” Marinette praised.

_______________________________________________________________________

(This ends Part 1. I will say it is kind of difficult rewriting this episode in this au, since Marinette and Adrien have a different dynamic. This is pre-Marigold, since I have written in Volpina that is when Marigold becomes a thing. I am open to suggestions on what you want to read. Please let me know your thoughts. Part two will be out soon.) (Part 2 here)

[luvdsc]

AHHHHH OMFGGGGG MISS CAT I JUST READ AUGUST AND IM LITERALLY SPEECHLESS YOU WROTE IT SO WELL IM CLOSE TO TEARS😭😭😭 OKAY FIRST OF ALL THE SYMBOLISM OF AUGUST I LITERALLY WASNT EXPECTING THAT AT ALL... LIKE... ITS SO WELL WRITTEN NFKSNDNWMD,,,!:&;& also the months!!! sorry I’m just in love with the way you weaved august into the story LIKE HOWW IM :(( and the last paragraph :(( WHO HURT MY FAV TUMBLR WRITER SQUARE TF UP🗣🗣 see I was wondering what the significance of the xxx does something in what month but the last sentence just tied it all together😭 okay I feel so dumb for not reading this earlier omfg,, I genuinely felt stuck in the middle after reading pussy blocked and I didn’t think I’d ever read a fic as good as that ever again but here I am I guess?? ngl I can’t imagine committing to someone for 3?? 4?? years so I do feel kinda bad for yangyang but ᵒⁿˡʸ ᵃ ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉ because he was such an ass in the Xmas scene so ,, also !!! yukhei’s character absolutely warmed my heart like his love language in the fic was so endearing :( oh have I said how well written the part where yangyang realises the mc isn’t in love with his anymore is because it really is :( uhh I haven’t slept ik more than a day so this was really just a lot of my unorganised rambling based on my first thoughts on august and it certainly didn’t do the fic any justice so I will be back with a more calm and collected mindset after I’ve had enough sleep !! but thank you so much for this masterpiece ughh it’s so well written I will definitely read it again. 🥰 anon~

ALKSHDFLKAJSD HONEY BEE, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AUGUST OH MY GOSH 🥺🥺💗💗💗 AND I TRIED SO HARD FOR SYMBOLISM IN THAT FIC LIKE I THINK USING THAT MAKES IT ANGSTIER??? maybe that's just me thinking that but yeah, me adding a bunch of motifs and symbolism in my angst is equivalent to me adding comedy to my fluff fics lmaooo thank you for calling it well written, lovebug !!!! i was so unsure with how it's gonna turn out since i sped wrote it that day and lowkey was a mess, but i'm glad everything made sense in the end :') also yes, the months !!!!! that was the biggest theme through it all 💓 the repeated use of august represents the consistency of y/n's love for yangyang and was written from her perspective, whereas the random months in yangyang's pov stood for the sporadic feelings he had for her. he's selfish in that way and only loves her when it's convenient for him until the very last august where it ends in his perspective, symbolizing that he truly loves her and is now consistent in his love, but she doesn't love him anymore :') ASHDFLKAJSHFDL NO ONE HURT ME, DON'T WORRY, LOVEBUG 🤧💞 i've never had my heart broken!!! the little italicized sentences further emphasizes what happens in each month and shows whose perspective each month is in! but in the last august, it's slightly different because the italicized sentence signifies that y/n finally lets go of her feelings, but in the actual scene, it ends with yangyang's pov as he sees her move on. and you're not dumb, sweetpea, you take that back!!!!! 😡 alkhdsflkajshfdaks thank you for thinking that both of my fics are good though omg i'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed both of them 💛 yangyang was committed to her in the end, but by then, it was too late 🤧 it's unfortunate, but timing really does play such a big factor in relationships, doesn't it? he didn't know how to express his feelings either, but neither did y/n, so in the end, it all just boils over and jealousy is an ugly feeling, but it happens and that's how we end up with the xmas scene. yangyang was a huge, well, dick, for lack of a better word asdfklas and yes, i really like yukhei's character too 🥺🥺💕 i tried to show his character as the opposite of yangyang's, and i do wish i had spent more time developing his character, but welp, this is what happens when you wait until the last minute to do an assignment aklshflaksjd the last scene was my favorite to write though, so thank you thank you thank you for pointing it out, sweetpea 💗💗 and omg i hope you got to catch up on sleep by now, honey bee!!! you need to rest ): thank you so much for taking the time to write me such a wonderful review on august omg i'm literally grinning like an idiot as i reread your ask again aaaaa and you would read it again???? i'm just 😭💖💖💖💖 you're so sweet, i'm so grateful for you, and i will cherish your message forever 🥺🥺 also, i hope you've been doing well and your weekend is going good, sweetpea !!! 💓💓

[22514209147]

azs smile like heavens light

having a heartbeat connects you to other humans, having none keeps you separate, rhythm of the world

burning his voice away, can't sing praise

a touch too red to be anything but tempting

from the soil to the stars

humans would make terrible angels, you make a terrible angel, why yes i suppose i do

what is the difference between righteous fury and the sin of wrath?

the power of holy love versus human love, one that the other angels can't understand and could destroy them

angels get their wings broken or pinioned when they fall so they can't save themselves

god is neutral not good, intentionally casts angels out just so that there are two sides

crowley freaks out the first time az touches his wings, traumatized

az misses flying because he hasn't gone, crowley misses it because he can't, az will never go without him

the effort that he had made last night was lying soft on his hip

crowley is left handed and has awful penmanship

he writes slowly to make up for it, coming up with and rejecting dozens of sentences before setting pen to paper

crowley's true form has a bright center that the Fall couldn't dim. he imagined there was an untouched place in him, so there was

az enjoys rituals of all kinds, stims.

az does dishes by hand when crowley teaches himself how to cook

very grounded in the physical world, sensation seeking

Falling feels like being partially empty, Rising feels like suddenly having an extra organ that doesn't fit

posture is terrible, weight of the world and others' expectations. straightening shoulders is like spreading wings

crowley was raphael but raphael wasnt important, humans decided he was

crowley trying to discorporate himself with alcohol and pills, az finds him

they can't miracle each other, az stays with him until he's well

in the dark to focus on senation alone

something felt off, wrong. like your teeth had been rearranged

he had been known by another name, too. one that was almost forgotten, just the barest memories of crimson, sparks of gold and a smile dancing on his lips

ocean mind

crowley's original eyes burned out when he Fell, literal snake eyes replaced them

he can't see the stars anymore, which is why he has the book. it's not great, but it helps with the heartache. az let's him see through his eyes and he cries for the first time since eden

crowley cried in Eden when it rained and az protected him, first act of kindness for another soul

demons are given animal parts to replace what they lost in the fall, cobbled together in crude imitations of creation

hiraeth- homesickness for a place you can never return to

angels can hear prayers directed to them.. crowley doesn't know this- nobody to pray to him before he Fell. az heard his prayers to him

az washing crowley's feet after the church

he would call himself pathetic, but at this point why bother? everyone already knew

az is adhd/autistic and the angels are all nt

doesn't like new tech because it's too loud and too bright and too much all the time

bringing wings out through clothing is possible but feels wrong and slightly off, shirtless is better

mournful, haunting, bitter. beautiful but it leaves you unsettled

az doesn't really need nipples but he likes them for the sensation and in the Victorian era he gets them pierced

crowley doesn't bother with nipples

use me, no i won't punish you, not like this, cuddles only

crowley makes an effort to get his pants to fit better and realizes that his body does things he's not necessarily in control of when he's with az

satisfaction is not in crowley's nature

crowley's back broke when he Fell, dragging useless legs

animals instinctively hate crowley, bookstore cat

they used to shake hands when saying goodbye but stopped after they realized they were in love because it felt both too close and too impersonal

crowley as raphael could heal. it was an intimate, slow process as he felt out all the problems and fixed them one by one with a gentle touch

crowley and az go for a walk and crowley gets to cold, refuses to warm himself with hellfire because he's scared of hurting az

angels can't sink, demons can't float. crowley likes to sit on the bottom and watch the surface from underneath

they go out for milkshakes, crowley is lactose intolerant

after leaving the dowlings crowley disappears for a few months and gets wasted, partying to forget his grief. he cut his hair and cried about it

crowley tends not to blink because every time he closes his eyes he sees himself falling

crowley used to love food but can't bring himself to enjoy it after his fall

crowley throws himself into experiences, following trends and letting up with the flow of culture while az stays the same

az feels lonely and forsaken by the other angels, hates that he still cares about them when they don't care about him

i am as good as the worst, i am as bad as the best (walt whitman i am as bad as the worst but thank god i am as good as the best)

az's halo is cool, steady light. crowley's is fire

heaven isn't about goodness, it's about obedience as opposed to hell's rebellion. they just assume obedience=goodness

az tries to touch crowley intimately, crowley takes control because he doesn't know how to sit back and receive attention. later he has az fuck him hard

crowley keeps everything and everyone at arm's length because he's afraid, tells himself he's not allowed to touch. once he and az are together he can't get enough

crowley is colorblind, the body swap takes a bit of getting used to because he's shocked at the colors

heavens light burns worse than the sun when gods grace is removed. crowley's freckles show up where the damage was worst, shoulders back hips etc

the back of his head smacked against the floor hard enough for him to see stars but he couldn't possibly care any less, wrapped in pleasure as he was

weatheredlaw antibodies their first kiss sparks, like licking a battery

god is infinitely multiple and devastatingly singular

"you mentioned having a friend over-"

"i have no friends outside of you"

that poor demon, the spherical little thing

when az sees abel dead it reminds him of the first time he stepped out of his body

hell is hot and damp, like a room with too many bobies in it

hellfire straight from hell vs hellfire made on earth by a demon

crowley appreciates sleep for the oblivion of the space between dreams. he doesn't hurt, doesn't yearn, doesn't regret

all angels of the host are connected, can feel when one is lost. it too a while to recover from the great war. demons are not connected to each other at all- they lost that in the fall, and always feel alone despite the crowding in hell. human individuality is between the two- they can't feel others, but they can create physical and emotional connection. that's where az and crow end up

crow hates being told her nice because the idea that there still good in him hurts. he believes that he's irredeemable and isn't okay with that as much as he claims to be.

demons don't trust one another with their wings so they keep them clean themselves or they never groom them.

when a fallen angel is touched with holy water everything hellish about them is washed away and the rest of them is taken to heaven

celestial harmonies contain so many voices and chords that they all sound the same

crowley spends hours reading wiki pages- ducks do have ears, it turns out

they get silver rings- gold is too heaven and nothing sparkles in hell

"you taste sweet" sorry, i know you don't like sweet- "i like you"

crow was made to create. with that taken from him he feels lost, don't know who he is. he threw himself into his work for hell at first but it quickly turned out to be not what he needed

god cast crowley out of heaven so that he would be free. the angels have made it abundantly clear that there is no place in heaven for questions

crowley can't change his eyes, but he can miracle an illusion over then if he needs to. it's very uncomfortable, like wearing sclera contacts

fake human au- az tries to find crow after he "dies" and is dismayed and confused that he's not in the archives at all. surely heaven keeps track of every human?

crowley fucks off to japan (sushi reminds him off az) until he has to go back to london

without the glasses in the way az can read him like an open book

crowley wills himself to sleep to avoid a conversation. becomes a snake, manifests eyelids just to make a point of having them closed

crowley tries to tell himself that demons don't feel guilty, but what better punishment is there than the constant feelings of doubt and regret?

being a snake is easier, since he doesn't have to deal with complicated human things like emotions and legs

crowley feels like his soul is dirty, az bathes him and tells him how much he loves him, even the dirty parts

coffee bad hot and does hurt on the mouth

my first relationship feel apart because of a lack of communication. i was touch starved and constantly sought contact with him. he took that as sexual interest and pushed me to "take the next step" and that terrified me. i didn't know how to say no so i broke it off

devil, devil go away, claim my soul another day

amdg2846, artenon, racketghost

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21215792/chapters/50508812 music box

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19351342/chapters/46038757

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20177950/chapters/47807593 99k therapy

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1481240 130k green things series

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1500140 60k avenging angel