#that was when i started drafting COL!

[braisedhoney]

say hello to the first Official Canon Characters aboard the HIVE o7 (joking, but they are legit ocs which is kinda weird to say 👀)

random lore + some extra tidbits below the cut

OKAY this is all pretty loose bc i don't wanna get top restrictive with it, the vagueness is half the fun. but here's what i got:

in the “HIVE canon”, sector heads/ranking officers (which for now is just leander and COL ig until i eventually cave and make more lmao) are specifically given custom uniforms and number prefixes instead of the CR[insert number here] format.

the “M” in front of leander’s stands for medbay. COL didn’t pick one so it’s just his name lol.

crewmates can wear any accessories they want as long as the base uniform stays the same (bee arm patches, grey, etc). all crewmate numbers gotta start with CR to be canon, but that doesn't apply to shitpost comics or like. general vibes

(there’s a reason the crew uniforms are grey. it’s the same reason leander made the captain’s gloves. )

the ship shuffles itself! it's not random all of the time, sometimes you open a door and end up in the room you were heading to like a shortcut, but other times you can open a random door and end up in the kitchen, or the training hall, etc etc. i just think an eldritch abomination ship is funny.

weirdly enough though it doesn’t do this in crisis situations. guess it’s only fun if the pranks are harmless ;;

if you get lost, call the captain (ello! o7) or COLONY over comms. they can generally get you wherever you need to go bc COLONY is directly connected to the ship and the captain’s able to make [INQUIRIES], which let us pass freely.

it’s kind of hard to tell if leander has a similar ability. the running theory is no, but he never seems confused?? when he enters a room?? so either he has one or he really just rolls with the punches. both are equally possible tbh.

in actual lore these two were probably some of if not the first few people to be recruited. obvs that’s a retcon now but shhh.

random characters from fandoms still get dragged into our shenanigans. at the end of the day this is all just for fun, and that’s one of the best parts, so hell yeah i’m keeping it.

[delulustateofmind]

Marriage-Life (One-shot)

A/n: Thank you all for all the love on the Between Worlds series! I promise an update next week. This is just something I thought about while on my walk with my dog :) SUPER FLUFFY!

**Also, it is unedited so fair warning, like a rough draft!**

Word Count: 1.8K

Summary: Collections of domestic life with Azriel, married/mated for fifty years. 

Warnings: Fluff & crack at times, drinking, some intimate moments. Pet names (Sweetness, My Love, Baby)

Azriel the spymaster was your mate, the most handsome man you’ve ever laid eyes on. Balancing life with a spymaster was no easy feat. Azriel’s frequent absence on risky missions tested the boundaries of your marriage at times. Yet, amidst the challenges, you found solace in the ways he made up for his prolonged departures.

Like sleepless nights in bed after a long mission…

As you settled in settled into bed, with Azriel lying on your chest, his breathing growing heavy as his eyes were closing. A question tugged at your lips. “Would you…’ you began, hesitating for a moment. ‘Yes, I would love you if you were a worm,’ Azriel hummed, his warm breath grazing your skin.

“Love me if I was a snail” You finished, feeling Azriel’s smirk form against your chest. He gave a soft nip on your breast. A deep sigh escaped his lips as he opened his eyes to look up at you. The hazel eyes looked up at you with amusement you could see his smirk turn smug. 

“Oh sweetness, that changes things” he drawled as he sat up a little, pushing himself up to see your face. You bit your lip trying not to giggle as he continued. 

“I mean, are you a normal snail? Like could I tell you apart from all of the other little snails?” Azriel began, his deep voice filled with a teasing tone. His hand roaming your bonds, fingers caressing your curves. 

You stifle a laugh as his fingers find ticklish spots, “I would be a cute snail, one that you could distinguish from the others”

“A very cute snail…but the fact remains. You would still be a snail” Azriel hummed as he ran his fingers across your curves again. His gaze goes down to your body and back to your lips and then your eyes with a playful grin. A grin that only you ever saw. “I would feel so guilty if I stepped on you by mistake. Can’t have that, can we?” 

Giving him a playful pout, you look at him innocently. “Are you saying…that you wouldn’t love me if I was a snail?” you whisper to him in a soft gaze, as you notice his movements. Azriel grinned again, pushing himself onto his elbows against you as he moved closer to you. His wings continued to drape across the both of you. 

“What I’m saying is I would always have to worry about stepping on you if you were a snail. Which would make being married to you quite the headache.” His hand once rested on the curve of your waist, moved its way to your collarbone then your jawline, and finally to your chin. Tilting your head as he brings himself closer to whisper on your lips. “How about you stay fae my love, maybe in another universe we could be snails together. But this one, I would love to be fae with you.” A gentle kiss was planted on your lips, which led to you both having a very sleepless night. 

****

Azriel never really had much of a sweet tooth, in fact, he typically stayed away from sweets until he met you. When you both got married, you would try out a new cafe once a month, sometimes going to the same one if their seasonal menu changed. 

“Let’s get ice cream today, it’s starting to get so warm out.” You whined as you slipped on a sundress. Azriel in the middle of brushing his teeth as he shrugged and gave the confirming nod. 

One of the best things about Azriel was that he always tried to match your outfits. If you wore a blue ribbon in your hair, he would wear a blue button-up shirt. If you wore a floral sundress, he would find a shirt that matched one of the colors. Today wearing a blue floral sundress, he opted for a light blue button-down and khaki slacks. One of which, he never owned any colorful clothing or anything other than his leathers and a few formal outfits until you two met.

Once you were both ready, Azriel took you on a flight down to the Palace of Hoof and Leaf. A district is known for its food. Once landed, you both walked hand in hand. Shadows trailing the both of you as you walked. Azriel’s huge hand compared to yours as he guided you to a cafe. 

“Feyre mentioned this place the other day” he began as he guided you through the busy streets. His wings were tightly tucked in. “I guess they make the ice cream look cute, like little bears and pigs” he gave you a warm smile as you trailed next to him, giving him a confirming squeeze with your hand. 

The streets were packed today, the market was selling spices, the smell of delicious food filled the air, and merchants trying to gather attention as people walked past. It wasn't until after a few blocks away, that you noticed a cute pastel pink building that had “Ice Cream” written in a beautiful cursive font on the window. You moved your hand from his, moving it towards his bicep as you both walked to the front doors. When you grasped his muscle, he flexed. The pastel-pink building exuded a quaint charm, its exterior adorned with delicate floral motifs that seemed to dance in the sunlight. Inside, the decor was equally inviting, with plush cushions and paintings on flowers on the walls. Along with cute stuffed animals on shelves around the parlor. A beautiful fae girl led you both to a table and placed a menu in front of you both. Azreil looked at you. “Order anything you want. I will just share with you”

The menu was filled with a tempting array of ice cream parfaits, each more enticing than the last. Ranging from little animal-themed ones to flower ones  You ended up ordering the panda, and right when you ordered you noticed there was a drink menu that showed an adorable foam cat latte. You order it as well obviously. Azriel smirks as he looks at you with a smile. People in the ice cream parlor glanced over. A smile from the threatening looks of the spymaster was quite rare. 

You both talked about what other errands you both needed to run, a market trip was due. Luckily Azriel won’t have a mission for a while but will be training with the Valkyrie and having to go to Hewn City soon. As you both talked, you very impatiently waited for the dessert, Azriel held your hand across the table. He was rubbing his finger across the top of your hand. 

“I appreciate you” He whispered so softly that you almost didn’t catch it. You give him a warm smile “I appreciate you too and everything you do.”

After what seemed like forever! 

The ice cream and latte finally arrived, you looked at the ice cream with a pout and looked at him. 

“I don’t think I can eat it, it’s too cute” you pout as you look down at the panda ice cream staring up at you. Azriel had already taken the latte and was about to sip it. As he raised a brow.

“Shall I eat it for you” he teased, flashing a playful grin as he took a sip of the cute cat latte. Something about this intimidating creature sipping a cute cat latte caused your heart to flutter. A blush made its way across your face, even after fifty years of marriage, he still makes you have butterflies in your tummy. You reluctantly used your tiny spoon that was given to you, to poke the face of the little panda ice cream ball on top. Tasting the ice cream, it was a cookies and cream flavor. So cute and so delicious. Azriel teased you by claiming you’re murdering him. You would flash him a playful glare which would cause him to laugh. It was moments like these, that you enjoyed being married to him. 

*** 

Drunken nights, meant drunken mates. 

Azriel arrived at Rita’s to find his mate giggling drunk next to Feyre who was being led away by Rhysand. Azriel’s mate however was still sipping on her drink as he walked over. 

“Sorry, I have a mate,” you slurred, raising a hand to Azriel’s face as he approached.

“Oh, do you? Is he handsome?” He teased in a low voice, taking a seat next to you. His wing brushing against your shoulder. 

“The most handsome man in the whole world, let me tell you if he caught you right now, you would be catching his hands” You drawled with a drunken grin as you sipped the rest of your cocktail. 

Azriel covered his mouth covering a laugh, “Is that so? So he’s like super powerful.” He teased, his tone holding amusement. One of his shadows trailing around your arm. 

You notice it and giggle, “Yeah, my mate has these little shadow things too” You point at the shadow and show it to him. He laughs a bit harder and leans closer to you. You almost immediately recognize him. 

“Hello! My mate!” You giggle as you lean your head on his shoulder. His arm slipped around your waist. “When did you get here, there was such a strange man here” you giggle as he holds you close, placing his chin on top of your head. 

“Just now, how about we head home? Hm?” He hums as he plays with a strand of your hair, leaning back a little to slide a hand under your chin to tilt your face to his to see your drunken smile with a red flush on your cheeks. 

“Can we walk a little?” You smile up at him as you slur a little.

“Can you even walk?” He teases in a low tone, “If you can then sure” 

He pays the tab and walks with you out. A hand firmly on your waist to stop you from stumbling when you both walk the streets of Velaris. If anyone even looks at you stumble they’re met with the glare of the spymaster. You notice a pigeon leaving his arms and make your toward it. 

Tears stream down your face. 

Oh fuc- Azriel almost thought you were about to throw up but here you are giving the pigeons coins while crying. 

“Baby please, he’s homeless” You give Azriel a longing look as big alligator tears stream down your face. 

“The pigeon?” Azreil covers his mouth from laughing, there’s no way his mate is crying about a bird on the street. This is one of her more normal moments. 

“Yes, and he’s so poor. I mean he had no pockets!” you slurred as your voice cracked feeling so bad for the poor pigeon.

“I’m sure he’s fine love, please leave the pigeon alone,” he says quietly as he pulls you up. Perhaps, winnowing home would be for the best. 

[exitrowiron]

Day 3: Oloron-Saint-Marie to Saint-Savin

57.7miles, 7,516' ascent, 5:37

Today's ride featured two major climbs starting with the Col de Marie-Blanque, a cat 2 climb which first appeared in the Tour in 1978. This was a challenging warm-up for the main event, the Col d'Aubisque, a climb rated 'hors categorie' (out of category). This climb is long and steep with 14% grades. But at the top you're rewarded with iconic views, punctuated by the well-known trio of giant bicycles. The summit is also where we enjoyed lunch.

The French and Spanish guides have been doing a good job of encouraging the Type A Americans to relax and enjoy lunch and take advantage of the opportunity to recharge tired legs and lungs.

As you can see in the videos, the two lane 'road' to/from the summit is the size of wide US bike trail. This makes it challenging for cars and bikes alike and the challenge is heightened when maneuvering around the free roaming cattle, sheep and wild draft horses. That's not a typo, the draft horses were brought to the region to help construct the roads and now they are permanent residents. The animals like to congregate at sections of the road that abut natural streams.

The climbs are arduous, but we've enjoyed knowing that our hotel for the evening is in the valley and we get to descend and coast the final 10 miles. Of course that means we have to start climbing the first thing the next day, but that is a problem for Tomorrow Mike.

I'm trying to include more videos, even though we were told that using our phones (our earbuds) while riding is a misdemeanor. I think its worth the risk ;-)

Thanks for following along.

[topazadine]

"How Do I Make Myself Start Writing?" (Tips to Get the Damn Thing Done)

Estimated Reading Time: 9 Minutes

I have complained previously about people telling newbie writers to "just write!!!" as if this helps at all. In that post, I was more assessing the reason why people ask how to start writing rather than the mechanics of beginning to write.

Now I am going to come back and give you some basic, nuts-and-bolts tips on how to actually start writing something.

In this post, we will discuss how to develop a good framework for writing. Because I am a plotter, not a pantser, I will be focusing on plotting rather than just going at it willy-nilly. This is just my opinion and my process, so some things may not apply to you; take what you like and leave the rest.

Here's the outline of what we will discuss. I will be including links to previous posts that cover each aspect in more detail if you need more advice on each step:

Plotting

Outlining

Titling Sections

Writing Out of Order

Getting Started by Section

Using Google/Word Comments While Writing

Tools for Motivation

Tools for Concentration

Tools for Revision

Plotting

When plotting, you are not coming up with a play-by-play; that is the outline. People often confuse the two when writing, which leads to them getting overwhelmed.

With a plot, you only care about these components:

The inciting event

The MC's goal

The summit or climax

The end

You can think of your plot as the elevator pitch you'd give to someone when explaining your story; it is a general overview of the piece.

So, if I was looking at my 100k+ fanfic, "A Tale of Two Citadels," I would describe it as this:

"Two Yamanbagiris get mixed up and sent to opposite citadels: one good, one bad. They then have to find their way back to their own home. Omokage steps in and cuts a hole in space-time to rescue his citadel's Yamanbagiri, bringing back Manba from the other citadel."

Now we can move on to the outline, where we figuring how to go from inciting event -> summit -> end.

Outlining

Outlines are tricky because if you add too much detail, then you get demotivated, as I have discussed in my Double Outlining method.

As I explain there, I like to come up with a very long outline, which contains everything I want to have in there, and then drastically cut it down to my actual planning document I use while guiding my work.

When I am outlining, I do not always use chapters, unless I am 100% certain that I will have exactly that many chapters. Instead, I organize things by different scenes.

Sometimes it's possible to use chapters; for example, if I have dual POVs and am switching back and forth every chapter, then the amount of chapters I have is mostly locked in. But if you're doing a single POV, you may find you need more or less than you expected.

Anyway, you'll start with these main components:

Beginning

Inciting event

Climax

End

And then go and fill in the rest. If you are using my Plot Mountain method for adventure stories, then it will look something like this:

Base Camp: Beginning.

Base Camp -> ABC: Lead-up to inciting event.

ABC: Inciting event.

ABC -> North Col: First challenge.

North Col: First break/plateau.

And so on ... you can read the Plot Mountain post for a better understanding of what I am talking about.

Once you have a basic understanding of each scene that will be included, it's time to develop your draft.

Titling Sections

I like to start out with headers for each section or scene, as this helps me know what I will need to work on.

It's easy to forget that your first draft is not your final draft and you do not have to use "Chapter 1," etc when doing it. In fact, I discourage this, because you may very well find you need more chapters, and then you get yourself confused.

Instead, consider using descriptive headers and organizing things by scene when you are writing.

This is an example of what I am talking about, from the first draft of the sixth part of the Eirenic Verses series, Poesy.

Those are the "titles" of each chapter. Once I was actually done with the book, I went in and fixed these headers into actual chapters.

This method is helpful because of what I will discuss next (writing out of order) and because it helps ensure that you're staying on track with your plot points.

If I have already done most of the writing and then realized that I need a new chapter, I make a new header, highlight the "Chapter" part, and then add a comment to it reminding me of what this scene needs to include.

I do not highlight the number of the chapter, because I may very well find that I need another chapter before this one. Then I'd have to renumber it, nuking my comment in the process.

In general, I try to keep all sections within about 200-500 words of each other (depending on how long the chapters are), unless there's an extremely good reason for a given chapter to be much shorter than the others.

This helps the reader know what to expect and how to pace themselves when they are reading. If they're just about to go to bed and say "one more chapter," and then that chapter ends up being twice as long as the others, they might be a bit annoyed.

Writing Out of Order

Sometimes you are stuck on a section for whatever reason; maybe you're not feeling it, maybe you need more research, maybe you're not quite sure where you're heading with it. And that's fine! Just don't let it demotivate you.

Write what part you're most excited about when you are most excited about it.

I usually write the beginning, the climax, and the end first. Then, I add the "sub-climaxes:" those smaller sections of tension, like a fight scene or whatever.

After that, I stitch them all together with the downtime scenes, which will have a bit of momentum but a slower pace.

In many cases, a downtime scene is combined with a moment of tension to make a full chapter.

Getting Started by Section

If I am very stuck on a particular section and just can't get myself to do it, I tell myself to write 200 words in the section, and if I'm still not feeling it, then I can stop and do another part, or give up for the day. In many cases, I end up continuing for a few more hundred words.

Even if I still give up on the section for the day, I have given myself to something to work on when I pick it back up again: I am not confronted with a blank page with no understanding of what I am supposed to do next.

Sometimes, if I am really, really stuck, I'll stop writing right in the middle of a sentence, which gives me an even stronger anchor when I'm ready to continue.

Using Google/Word Comments While Working

Google or Word comments are an immensely helpful tool while you are working, as they help remind you of things that you know you need to add but don't feel like doing right in the moment.

They don't have to be very long either, just enough to tell you that you still have some more work to do on this part.

Then, as you finish, you can either delete them or resolve them, depending on whether you want to remember what you had to fix. I tend to delete them, as resolved comments can still be visible on a completed Word doc when I send it to a beta reader.

Tools for Motivation

Word Count Spreadsheet. Keeping track of your work every day helps build intrinsic motivation and encourages you to keep going, even on days where you don't feel like working.

StimuWrite. I explained this in great detail on my other blog, but essentially it gamifies writing for you.

Pomodoro Method. You've probably heard of this already so I won't belabor the point, but it makes you work in 25-minute-ish chunks where you do nothing but what you're meant to be doing. Because I use Cold Turkey, I don't tend to need it, but sometimes I'm really, really distracted, and then I will put a timer on to keep myself honest.

Tools for Concentration

Cold Turkey. I don't see this get mentioned a lot by writers and I'm not sure why, as I literally use it every single day of my life. It blocks whatever websites you shouldn't be looking at so that you can focus on your work.

Binaural Beats. While binaural beats aren't some Hail Mary thing that makes you into a super genius, they can be helpful sometimes. You can find lots of versions of binaural beats on YouTube or your favorite music playing app.

Tools for Revision

Microsoft Read Aloud. I really like this tool for Word, though it does tend to butcher fantasy names (especially Uileac, I'm sorry honey). This makes it easier to catch typos or notice where you used the same word twice in a sentence. You can find this under the "review" section. Be sure to put it on normal speed or even below normal speed so that you can really capture missing words.

ProWritingAid. I will say that since I have started using ProWritingAid more frequently, I don't find as much value in it anymore, especially with the critique feature. They changed it recently so that it's not quite as thorough. Still, if you're a newer writer, you can definitely find benefit in its suggestions, particularly the "Inspiration" element. It is also good for letting you see an immediate overview of problems so you can just click on them and fix them all at once. I also like its sensory feature so I remember to actually add all five senses to my work.

Beta Readers. Yes, of course, beta readers are very helpful. But you need to find good ones! Ask if a writer on Tumblr that you like and admire will be willing to take a look at your work; they may say no, but there's no harm in asking. Fiverr can also be a good resource. I have found r/betareaders to be hit or miss. A lot of the beta readers on there are unexperienced and don't know what they're talking about.

And that's about it. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

I've created a masterlist of writing resources that you can peruse at your leisure, all for free.

The posts I write can sometimes take me hours - they're always intricate, always thoughtful. This one took me about 1 hour to write.

I do this as a labor of love for the writing community, sharing what I have learned from almost 15 years of creative writing.

However, if you'd like to support me, maybe you'll consider buying my book?

At $0.99, that's about 0.11 for each minute you spent reading this post.

9 Years Yearning is a gay coming-of-age romance set in a fantasy world. It follows Uileac Korviridi, a young soldier training at the War Academy. His primary motivations are honoring the memory of his late parents, protecting his little sister Cerie, and becoming a top-notch soldier.

However, there's a problem: Orrinir Relickim, a rough and tough fellow pupil who just can't seem to leave Uileac alone.

The book features poetry, descriptions of a beautiful country inspired by Mongolia, and a whole lot of tsundere vibes.

You can also check it out on Goodreads for a list of expanded distribution.

If you do purchase my book, don't forget to leave a review!

Reviews are vital for visibility on Amazon and help to support indie authors like me. Whenever you love a book, be sure to let the author know! It's much appreciated.

[starleska]

HELLO may I ask your opinion on Cole Sprouse? because there is a fella who has lived in my head rent free for months now and I must show him to you

He starts off looking really ugly (/pos) and dead and gradually becomes more human as the movie goes on. I won’t go into lots of spoilers juuuuust in case you ever watch it, but!!!

He has no tongue, ear, right hand, or…ahem 👀.

But when he eventually gets a hand, the FIRST THING he does is give his girl a smile and ask her to dance.

ALSO HE’S MUTE BECAUSE OF THE MISSING TONGUE!

Col Sprouse apparently went to a mime program for a while to be able to articulate thoughts and ideas better without words!!!!

He’s the sweetest most pathetic lovey-dovey doll face baby sweetie love muffin and I’m obsessed.

OH he also murders people!!!

Thoughts? 👀

Rottie oh my god i'm so sorry i started answering this ask and then got bodied by two different hyperfixations so it was buried in my drafts 🙈💖 it would've made much more sense to answer this during October, wouldn't it!! 😂 haha we're continuing on with the Max Jägerman trend of dead guys, i love it!! 🥰 i didn't grow up with Cole Sprouse's work but i'm very intrigued by his portrayal of The Creature here - we looove a sweet monster who falls for an innocent human in these parts 🥺🥺 ahhh did he really!!! if there's anything to be said for all of our recent Art the Clown thirsting, 'Don't underestimate the importance of body language!' 😳 he seems really kind and attentive...and of course the added spice of a little murder never hurt anyone 🙈💖💖 a very solid suggestion!! gotta put this movie on my watchlist 🥰 thank you my lovely friend 🫂

[darkpoisonouslove]

for the writing ask game!

💫 what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

🦋 what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

💫 what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

I love it when the commenter lists specific things that they like/caught their attention (and possibly tells me why they liked them). It really helps to know which parts of my writing work and if I'm conveying my ideas comprehensively enough. It's also nice when a comment sparks a discussion about some headcanons or worldbuilding. Other people's ideas/understanding of canon elements can be fascinating to hear about!

🦋 what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

Answered here.

🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

Engaging with other fans is awesome because it can spawn theories, headcanons, discussion and the like. It can motivate people to create or help them overcome their fear of sharing what they've already created. It can also make you feel seen and understood by other people who relate to/love the same characters as you. And all of that usually leads to wonderful, strong friendships. It's the foundation of fandom because that's what we're here for. You can be a fan just fine on your own, closed off in your bedroom. But it's the engagement with other people's ideas and interpretations that makes the experience so much more fun and more fulfilling. Interactions with other fans can multiply the joy and satisfaction that you get out of creating for your favorite piece of media and that just makes fan life a 1000 times better.

I myself am very anxious in social situations but when I read a fic or see some other fan creation, I remind myself that feedback makes such a big difference for creators. It makes it almost impossible for me to not leave some comment. (I don't know super much about art so it's harder for me to comment on it but I try to at least compliment the piece when I reblog it.)

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

I already talked about the Griffin draws Faragonda to her side (instead of vice versa) during the CoL times AU and I haven't made much progress since then but it's always on my mind.

Because chapter 1 is such a fucking mess, I have turned the first part of it into a mix of five different lectures on magic courtesy of Valtor. It takes place on Oppositus where I've created a legend that parallels Griffin and Faragonda so closely that Griffin is instantly feeling dread when she first hears about it.

I think I finally managed to use the chaos with their emotions to my advantage and tie it into the theme of the first chapter. I am planning on including an older idea of mine in which when things are too hard to say, Griffin and Faragonda say the opposite of what they mean and the other one knows what the truth is. (I wrote out a ficlet with the idea here - under number 31.)

I think I'll just have to start writing it, though, because the outline has become too much of an unsalvageable clusterfuck at this point. I was hoping I could figure some things out before diving into the first draft but it looks like chapter 1 at least won't agree with me. To be honest, I am kind of anxious about starting this because it will require a lot of careful maneuvering with the characters' feelings and motivations and it will be quite long. I don't think I will be able to motivate myself to finish it all before posting but posting every chapter as I write it will probably mean long hiatuses in-between. I am unsure of how to proceed but I'll mull over it once I've done the first chapter.

Send me ((REAL)) fic writer asks

[rosie-love98]

How "The Joker" Sequel COULD HAVE Crossed-Over With The 90's "Crow":

I know folks are very weary of the new "Joker 2". I, myself, haven't seen it (kinda planning to) but I've seen the reviews. And when seeing one review, it sparked an idea I've had for years. sequel that crossed over with the 90's film, "The Crow".

It could start in Detroit with a young Eric Draven. He's raised by his mother who never liked bringing up Eric's father. Either that or Eric would be rised by the Dravens as his adopted family like in the original "Crow" comics. Aanyway, This was so until news broke out about Arthur Fleck's infamous TV appearance. This would lead to the revelation that Eric was a Fleck.

The flashback would either have Eric's Mom be the illigitimate daughter of The Penguin who had a romantic relationship with Arthur until things had happened that tore them apart before Eric was even a thought. And when Eric was born, his mother either died or gave him to the Dravens who were close friends.

Or-as a call back to "The Crow" comics where Eric was a Vietnamese native-have Eric's Mom be from Vietnam during the war. Judging by "Full Metal Jacket", the army didn't quite care much for the mentally ill. The more soldiers drafted the better. So, Arthur was dragged into the fray, with Col. Draven be a trusted friend/big-brother figure. This would lead Arthur to meet Eric's Mom. A romance went on until Arthur had to return home for some reason (either Arthur had a nervous break down, there was an emergency involving Arthur's mom, etc.). After leaving, Eric would come into the world with him and/or Eric's Mom going to America to live with Col. Draven's family.

Back in the present/1980's, Eric decided to go to Arkham to talk with Arthur in an authorized visit.

Not sure what else would happen yet. However, I can see Arthur escaping from Arkham and influencing Eric to go on some terrorists acts until Eric meets Shelley who has him redeem himself.

[the-inkwell-variable]

Talk about a WIP? (For the ask game)

Absolutely! Thank you so much for the ask!

I'm gonna chat a bit about Dauntless, since the Big Month of Writing A Novel (unaffiliated) is coming up and that is, once again, my project. I've been working on Dauntless since about 2012, finished it three times just to delete or lose my draft and start again. This time I actually have a draft to edit and rewrite, yay!

Dauntless takes place almost entirely in Bluegrass, Kansas, a fictional city based on where I live. It's not a small town (I think we're sitting at 30k people right now?) but we are a suburb so we do get that small town vibe.

Since this is a zombie book, let's talk infection! I'm not sure how I'm going to implement this yet, if at all, so this may be the only place it's mentioned, but this is a parasitic infection. A type of worms mutated to survive the water purification process and is now in everyone's drinking water. Humans are still pretty tough, so it's not going to start as fast or hard as The Last of Us did, but people are going to be affected quickly. The worms grow inside a person to eventually wrap around your brain stem and wiggle its little appendages into the various books and crannies of the brain. Fun! Love this for us! Definitely not gagging at all over here! 🫠

The first stage of the infection (which I originally intended to be a related but separate thing... Might still go back to that.) is definitely a fun little horror show to write. It's somewhat inspired by Crossed, a comic in which infected people carry out their sickest, most twisted desires with a smile on their face. (Definitely a messed up series, read at your own risk. It caught ME off guard a few times, so please take care of yourself if you read it!) However, infected people in my story dont do it with a smile or out of pleasure (some do, but they're further along in the infection and were kind of messed up to begin with). They think their messed-up actions are logical, common sense. In most cases, they don't even realize that they're doing a messed-up thing. Some of their stories are quite sad when you realize that they genuinely think they're helping or doing the right thing. (Side note! I'm writing a separate book of stories that takes place alongside Dauntless, that focuses on these characters. It's going to be a ailabke for free when it's done, I promise I'll link it here!)

The second stage of the infection is death and reanimation, typical zombie stuff. This is a zombie book, after all. The zombies start off fast, quick, agile. Think Black Summer. They understand how to open doors, that a window can be an entrance, that dodging an attack can keep them alive a bit longer. They're not smart, per se, but they're not completely stupid yet. The longer they shamble around, the more they deteriorate and the dumber they get until they're your typical shamblers. In the far distant future, when the next trilogy in the series takes place (I might have dreams too big for my britches here lolll), they do mutate, but for now, they're just zombies.

Introducing Ashlee, our protagonist! She's not interested in any of this. She wants a normal, quiet life. She's helping her sister take care of her kids after the divorce (which she hates - she's not really the parental type, though she really is trying). She works at a clinic and is dating her boss, which even she knows is not a great idea, but he's handsome and friendly and wants the same future she does, so how bad can it be?

Now I'm more into the survival aspect than the interpersonal drama, but don't you worry, there is drama to be had! Niece Selina is a teenager doing teenager things, which Ashlee has to stay on top of so she doesn't make the same mistakes. Is boyfriend Dr Jordan Parker truly as altruistic and kind as he seems? What's going on with the cop that keeps sniffing around? Is Ashlee bisexual and/or poly, or is she simply desperate for a loving touch in these cold times? And will the author have the strength to keep fucking Chuck's grubby little hands off this document or will she have to burn the world to the ground to get rid of him once and for all? Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!

Thank you so much for asking about Dauntless! I'm sorry I rambled so much. I have a lot of thoughts about this book. I hope you're having a fantastic day ❤️❤️❤️

[project1939]

200 Films of 1952

Film number 177: Retreat, Hell!

Release date: February 19th, 1952 

Studio: Warner Bros. 

Genre: war 

Director: Joseph H. Lewis 

Producer: Milton Sperling 

Actors: Frank Lovejoy, Richard Carlson, Anita Louise 

Plot Summary: During the first part of the Korean war a battalion of Marines lead by Capt. Paul Hansen make headway into North Korea. When China starts sending soldiers to fight them, they are hopelessly surrounded and must fight their way back to safety. 

My Rating (out of five stars): ***¼  

War movies are usually one of my least favorite genres, but this film has some unique elements for the time period that make it worth a watch. First of all, it really fleshes out the main characters before they even get to any battles, making it almost as psychological as it is action filled. The men all seem real- not big tough guys who are always brave. Second, the entire thing is essentially about a retreat, something most people, especially the macho kind, would label as failure. 

The Good: 

Richard Carlson as Capt. Hansen. He was a very likeable “everyman” kind of character, but also a good leader in a quieter sort of way. 

Frank Lovejoy as Lt. Col. Corbett. He was the most traditionally manly of the Marines shown, but he was also very likeable. 

Russ Tamblyn as McDermid, the young kid hoping to prove he is as brave as his distinguished Military family. He made you root for him and fear for him at the same time. 

I liked that the initial training sequence took up a good portion of the film before the warfare started. We got to know the characters well, which made it more moving when they were in such dangerous situations. The sequence where they reached Korea by ship gave me goosebumps. 

Real film footage of the war was used, which was chilling to see. 

The Marines seemed like normal people instead of G.I. Joe types. That was such a good reminder of the reality of the draft- how people from all walks of life were there. It made it even more powerful when they showed amazing bravery as the film went on. 

Not all Asians in this were nameless enemies. The south Koreans were briefly shown in a positive light.

This was good at giving Americans an important glimpse into what was happening in the Korean war. Even 72 years later, it helped me understand a little more. 

The way the film redefined what “retreat” in this instance really meant. The men were truly fighting to save themselves the entire way back. It was a battle by another name. The incredible ordeal they were put through should not be labeled as “running away.” 

The Bad: 

Even though the real battle footage shown was incredible, it was also obvious when it would switch back to the movie footage. The transparency of the back and forth pulled me out of the movie at times. 

Being a film made in 1952, it could in no way portray the war as anything but totally just. There wasn't the slightest bit of criticism or complexity regarding the cause or the morality of any of the men. (I expected that, though, and I honestly don't think it would have worked in this kind of film, anyway.)

The speech Lt. Col. Corbett made at the very end became a little too “Hollywood” for me. 

I'll admit I got a sick of hearing The Marines’ Hymn! It played in the background a lot. 

The roles of the wives were miniscule and almost pointless. They were “blink and they’re gone” kind of characters. 

Are we gonna talk about that movie poster?? I know language and slang change over time, but in 2024 how can you not cringe at the phrase “husky guys with star spangled spunk?” Or laugh, really. Of course it made me laugh!

[snapbackslide]

→ DAILY CLICK FOR PALESTINE 🍉 or help these families by donating if you can

💫 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅, 𝒅𝒆𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅, 𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒚 & 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄 𝒐𝒃𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 💫

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disclaimer: i struggle with chronic mental health issues, mainly social anxiety and depressive episodes. please do not interact with ill intentions. feel free to reach out for any concern, or if you need someone to vent to. i am always happy to help 🫶

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favourite teams

HOCKEY [nhl] montreal canadiens [ahl] laval rocket [iihf] canada | sweden [pwhl] pwhl | montreal

[live blog] in the format [nickname] [lb] (most used: habs) live posting in arena: live from the bc [events] olympics | all-star | draft

a comprehensive layout; (yes i hate half the league xD been here since 2016.. baggage has accumulated)

WRESTLING [wwe] wwe | lb

FOOTBALL (rare) [national] argentina | canada [clubs] cf montreal | fc barcelona

AMERCIAN FOOTBALL (extra rare) [cfl] alouettes

favourite players

HABS n. suzuki | a. xhekaj | k. guhle | b. gallagher [ 13 | 14 | 15 | 20 | 21 | 52 | 72 | 77 | 92 ♥️ future's bright ]

OTHERS m. duchene | t. jost | t. toffoli | j. skinner

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get to know me

almost trilingual immigrant, still not over the 2021 glory days because i simply never move on ever 🤠

random facts, because why not:

i've interacted with my two favourite hockey players, side hugged nick suzuki, and made brendan gallagher & artturi lehkonen laugh. i already won at life.

haha jk i'm a curse to my faves... they score hat tricks when i'm not watching, get traded/waived/demoted or simply leave, retire before winning a championship, get injured when i have tickets to see them, and oh yeah, my teams lose in the finals, or in some other brutal way! ッ

music is my world ♥ fav artists include twenty one pilots, camila cabello, patrick droney, the maine, young the giant, zara larsson, wrabel, abba, and linkin park

been a hockey fan since i moved to canada, but january 2016 is when the obsession started, thanks to brendan gallagher 😝 my first favourites were roberto luongo and carey price (had a thing for goalies lol)

[saym0-0]

like this is all well and good but zer0's house was definitely in the 90s, they definitely said that. idk im rejigging

i think im just gonna shift his solo career back like thirty years,, like he was in the band up until the 70s or something then he began his solo career? its a struggle cos you don't wanna disrupt the established timelines of the other bots too much,, i want him around at least in the 50s because of that one throwaway line in the 10 year show that i took and ran with that implied he was one of the bots when clockwork vaudeville takes place,, hm okay i think i know

alright, proper timeline under the cut because 120 years is a lot to cover and it got long

1894/5- the bots he was made from were built, but their power cores weren't strong enough, and they were never powered on

1896- after Rabbit and The Spine were built, Col Walter came back to the prototype bots and fixed them up into one bot that did function- Zer0!

1897- after the war, just like in canon, he was put down in the basement and largely forgotten.

1939- after hatchy was vaulted, they didn't like that they only had four bots, so Col Walter was like 'oh yeah! i forgot about the other guy!' and brought Zer0 up and fixed him up to be able to play music. because he was unknown to the military at this point, and still getting used to the world around him again, he was not enlisted into ww2.

1956- clockwork vaudeville! at the new pennsyltucky worlds fair. ill be honest i have no idea where The Jon would be at this point, maybe the war properly put him out of commission for like eleven years or maybe hes off becoming the mayor of biscuit town idk.

1963- Zer0 strikes out on his own! starting a small but successful and long running career performing at various venues around the US.

1965- Zer0 dodges the draft for vietnam, because nobody knew where he was.

1969- Zer0 briefly meets up with Upgrade, who's attempting to start her own solo career, and they perform a few shows together before parting ways.

1986- Zer0's career finally starts picking up, and he begins performing for bigger audiences and appearing on television shows

1992- february 29th- the first episode of Zer0's House airs. despite the first episode airing on a saturday, the show was on every other thursday year round. the show was met with overwhelming positivity, with Zer0's fame skyrocketing

1993- facing enormous backlash at the initial plan to only air on leap years, Zer0's house is renewed another year.

1997- popularity of the show dwindles, but a devout following remains.

1999- as the audience grows ever smaller, the final episode of Zer0's House is annonced for the following year.

2000- february 29th- the final episode of Zer0's house airs. Zer0 returns to his solo career roots and returns to the musical stage, keeping up a small but devout following.

2008- i cant decide whether he should rejoin the band and stick to canon from there or if he should continue his solo career until it all crashes and burns ://

2012- if he does rejoin in 2008, he leaves again now, if not then idk he gains a boost in popularity or something

2014(?)- he invests all his money in the abstract concept of love

2015- he releases an autobiography, titled 'How I Lost All My Money By Investing in an Abstract Concept'. it only sold one copy.

2017- broke and alone, Zer0 returns to Walter manor and rejoins the band.

aaaand after that its all the same as canon :3 this took a lot of brain power but hey, at least now i have a concrete Zer0 timeline to reference and hopefully not forget that its not actually canon :3333

if you also want to use this, no need to credit back to me, all i did was shift some dates around and flesh out Zer0's House, but a link might just generally be helpful for reference purposes c:

and if ive missed anything vitally important let me know! like, say, bebops entire friendship with zer0 that i couldnt figure out how to fit in

realising Zer0's timeline doesn't make a whole lot of sense so im keeping the important bits and rejigging it, stay tuned

[inventors-fair]

Mechanical Runners-up! ~

Our runners-up this week are @col-seaker-of-the-memiest-legion, @horsecrash and @piccadilly-blue!

@col-seaker-of-the-memiest-legion — Sylvan Botanist and Collaborate

The glue that I like about this card is how it theoretically encourages a bunch of weird interplay. Maybe it’s the Zendikar Rising in me, but I enjoy the idea that you can be splashing for a color like red or blue and then have the wizardly deckbuilding side of things to change how you play. There are weird wizards around! And then, maybe those colors allow you to do weirder things, like a blue card that can double ETB abilities, or a red card that’ll benefit your team of new tokens, or just elves, which are elves. In terms of the greater scope of deckbuilding, this mechanic suggests a type-based multicolor theme in the greater scope of Magic.

Maybe there’s some hybridity that could be at play here, but the double-pips and the pretty standard token-making aren’t the most exciting to me. In terms of a half-decent draft rare, I can see this being picked up, but the fact is that you’re using quite a few resources here and it’s not landing in a specific way. What world is this supposed to be on, what kind of landing? I don’t feel that resonance at the moment. But between Dominaria, Ravnica and Alara, I’m sure you can find a home.

~

@horsecrash — Firewall Cracking and Encrypt

See, this slaps. That’s why I want to start with my main criticism, which is also a question. “Unencoding” to the best of my knowledge means it’s still in exile but no longer encrypted onto the creature, yes? That groks. It’s also really weird to see on the card, because I can imagine a new player encrypting, smacking, and then putting this card back into their graveyard “because that’s what unencoding means, right?” I think having a little comprehensive rules checking could help you out here.

All the same, criminy this is a powerful card and a powerful ability. What if you had, like, a virus type on this world, and you could encode creatures onto other creatures? And then, when they hit, they could infect the enemy with MIND POWERS or whatever. I think this is spectacular! I don’t think it belongs on Kamigawa necessarily even though it has the sci-fi vibe because, I mean, there’s already so many combat mechanics and whatnot there. All the same, you know what, even without the sci-fi vibe the attention you’re bringing to how resources can work at different parts of a turn is remarkable.

~

@piccadilly-blue — Scrap Salvager and Hide

So firstly, I’m tickled by your addition:

And it’s greatly appreciated~ I think there’s a lot of room for this mechanic to shine. I think it’s also, as it stands, fairly vague. For this card, it’s a fantastic card, and the flavor text tells me very little. I think that we have to think about what hiding means? In this case, I feel that this character is venturing and/or delving, and I get that much, but hiding also has the implication: from what? That’s what I don’t understand yet. The flavor text is...expository to say the least. I get the urge, because, well, I also see you’ve got a bigger set you’re working on. Admirable! Keep that up! But you gotta intrigue me, and right now, I feel like I’m being told the things I as an audience want to figure out.

From a pure mechanical standpoint this is really fun. I’d love to see cards that hide and then come out of hiding. Fantastic. Gimme a card that goes nuts with some ETB-to-hiding parallels. Not gonna teach anyone cool vocabulary, but it’s still neat. That part is solid and it looks like it can play well with whatever else is in this set, like ETBs, cast triggers, cards that care about how many spells you’ve cast in a turn, cards in exile, etc.

Working on general commentary soon! Lots to talk about, so sit back, relax, and be good to each other.

@abelzumi​

[amarguerite]

1, 10 and 14 for the writers ask meme ❤️

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

i much prefer silence, tbh. i can do both, but like, i'm not 100% sure how to answer the question now because my husband and i live in a very small one bedroom so there is always someone around.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

No, since I write best when it's silent.

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

i have so many original fiction ideas i'm holding off on because i just need to finish this gothic. ;_; i've been working on it for what feels like forever and i just want it to be doooooonnnnee

i want to finish a second draft of my tam lin retelling set in the golden age of Hollywood, I want to write an epic sword-and-sorcery political fantasy that's basically Marjorie going through the plot of The Count of Monte Cristo, i want to finish my secondary world fantasy about a ravenmaster investigating the murder of the queen in a world where sewing is literally magic, i want to do another gothic where the kids from not!the secret garden get trapped in the creepy gothic manor in adulthood because the house is alive and will kill them before it lets them leave again, and they have to rediscover the magic of the garden to destroy it, etc.

fic-wise, there's a colonel fitzwliliam/ lizzy plot i like to daydream about but won't write because i have too many things i need to finish before starting something new. rambling detail under the cut.

basically, i want to do The Great Escape through Portugal, just after the French invade. Mr. Gardiner's business would be the port business. After his business partner dies, he, Mrs. Gardiner, and Lizzy (there to help her aunt with all the children) end up in a port vineyard, trying to settle accounts etc and befriending local redcoats as you do. On the eve of the First Battle of Porto in 1809, Lizzy, who's a very keen walker, spots something odd and comes to tell Colonel Fitzwilliam, who in this would be one of Wellington's exploring officers a la Colquhoun Grant. She guides him back to where she saw the French soldiers, but by the time Colonel Fitzwilliam makes his observations, they're cut off, and the French are marching on Porto.

They manage to make it to British HQ, and they have to pretend to be engaged so that one of the naval ships will take Lizzy wherever her uncle and aunt have already been evacuated )I need to research where they would have gone) as a sort of aristocratic/ gentlemanly favor. The captain with the only available berth is none other than Captain Wentworth, who has very strong feelings about engaged couples unable to get married, and their making up something about how Lizzy's uncle won't consent to their marriage, only causes him to perform a shipboard ceremony then and there, before Lizzy heads off to wherever, and Colonel Fitzwilliam to the Second Battle of Porto. Lizzy and Col. Fitz agree the marriage is probably not legal because she's underage and though they've both caught feelings for each other at this point, they both decide to nobly not hold each other to it. Timeskip from 1809 to 1812, when I usually set P&P for the selfish reason that I like the Napoleonic Wars and want to write about them. Lizzy either gets proposed to by Mr. Collins, and when he persists even more than in canon, desperately blurts out that she has been secretly engaged to someone since 1809, super sorry, can't break that, and can't enter into a new engagement until she hears if he's alive or dead, and all hell breaks loose, or we just timeskip to the Kent part of the novel, and there's a comedy of errors there about who's engaged and who's married, etc.

[hockey-fics]

When We’re 25 ~ Nathan MacKinnon 

Summary: Twenty-five seemed so old for two eleven year olds sitting on the grassy field behind their school. Who would have thought promises made 14 years ago could change everything?

Word Count: ~4,000

Warnings: None

Video Source of Gif

A/N: Unedited and based a lot in the past so I tried to put together an accurate timeline but please forgive me if I didn’t get years quite right. 

Nathan MacKinnon. People always asked about your relationship with him. People always had. Because you were inseparable from the day you met. It was when you were eight years old and your third grade teacher put him beside you while completing her seating plan for the year when you first met. 

A few days later Nate invited you to come play soccer during recess. You spent all of five minutes playing soccer with the boys before heading off to the edge of the soccer field, picking a handful of wildflowers. You gave them to Nathan while walking back into the school after the bell rang and they stayed in his desk until they were shrivelled up and dead. 

You started going to each others houses after school and on weekends. His parents and your parents grew closer through the frequent trips to each other’s houses dropping off or picking one of you up. 

In grade four you weren’t in the same class as Nate and you cried the morning of your first day back at school. But still you still saw each other at every recess and lunch break. He would occasionally swap out playing soccer to spend the break with you. Other times you would drag your friends up to the soccer field to hang out on the sidelines, simply to be near him. 

It started early, the teasing from your friends. They would giggle and talk about how they were certain you two ‘like liked’ each other. Your parents made occasional comments too. Comments that would make your cheeks burn and turn a dark shade of red. Through everything you had always denied liking Nathan. 

When you were eleven years old your older cousin was getting married and your family took a trip across the country for the wedding. When you got back to school you were bombarded with questions from your friends about the trip. You talked about how magical it all was, gushing about the dress, the cake, the dancing, and in true childhood fashion, that the hotel you stayed in had a pool. Jeremy, a boy in your class, was sitting nearby, listening in on the conversation. “Too bad nobody will every want to marry you,” Jeremy muttered when you had finished talking. 

“Jeremy, you’re so mean,” your best friend had defended quickly.

“it’s just the truth,” he had replied matter-of-factly. 

You tried your best not to let Jeremy’s comment hurt your feelings. But the tears that welled up in your eyes betrayed you and before anyone had the chance to say anything else you were on your feet and fleeing to the closest bathroom so nobody could see your emotions. 

You were in the bathroom for awhile before your friend came in, coaxing you out of the bathroom stall. “Nate punched him,” she had said, so simply, as if it didn’t mean anything. 

You were shocked when she told you, scared about the trouble he was going to get into. And he did get into trouble, a week of missed recess breaks. 

You sat outside on the grassy hill behind the school with Nathan that day after school. 

“Sorry you got in trouble,” you told him. 

“He upset you.”

“You shouldn’t have hit him.”

“He shouldn’t have been mean to you.”

You had looked over at Nate and knew in that moment that he didn’t even know why he punched Jeremy, didn’t know what Jeremy had even said, just that he had made you cry. “He told me nobody would ever want to marry me.”

“He’s wrong.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I’d marry you,” Nathan had told you so simply that it made you giggle even at that age. 

“We’re too young,” you had replied, as if that was the only reason you two couldn’t get married. 

“When we’re older then.”

“You’re going to marry me when we’re older?”

Nathan nodded, pulling a tiny wild daisy from the ground and handing it to you. “If we aren’t already married to other people.”

“When?” You asked him, twirling the flower between your fingers. 

Nate contemplated the answer for awhile before saying anything. “Twenty-five?”

Twenty-five had seemed so far from that day. You were only eleven and you thought you would have it all figured out by the time you were 25. “Okay,” you had told him. 

The two years Nathan had spent playing hockey in Minnesota were incredibly difficult for you. You were 12 and going through so many changes in your life. The only thing you really wanted was to have your best friend around. 

When you were both 14 and Nathan had moved back from Minnesota to play in Halifax you went back to being practically inseparable. You went to as many of his games as possible. Even when you both had homework to do you insisted on being together, working quietly on separate assignments till it devolved into talking and laughing. Any opportunity to hang out together you would take it. 

When you were 16 you managed to convince Nate to come to a house party with you. One of the kids in your class had been left alone for the weekend which inevitably meant he was going to throw a party. Nate spent most of the night sipping coca-cola while you consumed jungle juice and cheap beer. 

Of course a game of truth or dare was suggested that night because you were all high school students who had access to alcohol and an unsupervised home. The lack of seating in the house had left you sitting on Nathan’s lap, his arms wrapped around your waist, your back pressed into him. 

“Y/N,” Lexie said. “Truth or dare?”

You had immediately opted for a dare. You were a bad liar sober, you knew there was no way you could have lied convincingly if they asked something you didn’t want to admit. 

“I dare you to kiss Adam.”

Adam was a year older than you, intimidatingly cool and attractive to you at the time. You had just turned 16 and you were beginning to feel embarrassed about the fact that you hadn’t had your first kiss. But that was not how you wanted it to happen. You hadn’t realized how long you had sat there in surprise till you felt Nathan run his hand over your arm. He knew. He knew that you hadn’t had your first kiss before and he had detected your anxiety immediately. 

“She’s not doing that,” Nate had declared a moment later. 

“Why not?” Lexie questioned, eyes narrowed and voice annoyed. 

“Because we’re dating.”

You had tried to keep your composure in the face of such a bold lie. You remembered the looks your friends had given you, even they were uncertain whether it was a lie or not because of how believable it would have been. 

“You’re lying,” Lexie had challenged. 

“Why would I lie about that?” Nathan slid his hands down to your legs, tugging you sideways on his lap and bringing one of his hands to the side of your face, turning your head to look at him. “They’ll believe us if I kiss you,” Nathan whispers. 

You swallow heavily, staring into his eyes. You wanted to kiss him, but you didn’t think this was how you wanted it to happen. You could feel the eyes of everyone playing the game in the room and suddenly the attention felt like too much. “I want to go,” you whispered back. 

Nathan didn’t need to hear anything else. He placed his hands on your waist, quickly helping you up before standing up himself. “We’re going to go home,” Nate announced as you walked out with him, hearing a chorus of ‘oohs’ in regard to you two leaving together after that announcement. 

You walked back in the direction of your house in silence for awhile until you passed by a park and you grabbed Nate’s hand, stopping him in his tracks. “Lets go on the swings,” you suggested. 

The two of you sat on the swings and talked for awhile, not about what happened at the party at first. “I just want it over with,” you finally blurted out. 

“Want what over with?” 

You had looked over at Nathan, fingers grasping the chain of the swing so hard your knuckles had gone white. “My first kiss.”

“If we’re going to get married we may as well try kissing now,” Nathan had said, laughing as he did. You knew the part about getting married was a joke so you assumed the rest was as well, giggling softly. 

Nathan stood up and walked in front of you, his hands moving to yours, gently pulling them off the chains of the swing. “I’m serious.”

Slowly you stood up, looking up at him with wide eyes. “What if I’m bad at it?”

“You won’t be,” Nathan had assured you, one hand around your back as he pulled you closer. “Do you want to?”

You had simply nodded, as if you were physically unable to say yes. Nathan had kissed you that night. Your first kiss ever. Afterwards you didn’t say much as he walked you home, waiting till you were inside before going back to his own house. 

Neither of you talked about the kiss again. You told everyone afterwards that you didn’t work out in a relationship that you were still friends. But a year and a half later, when you were almost 18 you brought it up again.

“You know how you let me kiss you to get my first kiss out of the way?” You asked, sitting on your bed with your school work spread out in front of you. Nate had been sitting beside you with his math textbook and a messy sheet of equations in his lap. 

Nate had looked over at you, eyebrows raised in curiosity. “Well I kissed you, but yeah. Why?”

“Would you do it again?”

“You can’t have your first kiss twice.”

“Not my first kiss….my first…time.”

Nathan had stared at you blankly for a few seconds, seemed skeptical, like you were tricking him into admitting something. “Yes,” he had finally told you. 

“Okay,” you had replied, slowly moving all your books off your bed. And Nathan did exactly what he said, taking your virginity that afternoon. And he was gentle and kind and everything you were hoping he would be. You trusted him with everything and you were glad you had trusted him with this too. Even though it happened only a few months before he was drafted into the NHL and then moved to Colorado. 

You stayed close when he moved. You texted and called and visited each other as much as you could. And you always remained determined that you were just friends. But you never felt the same connection you felt with him as you felt with anyone you had actually dated. You never felt as comfortable, as safe, as secure. 

Nathan had always done his absolute best to make sure he was there for your birthdays. There were a few years where he couldn’t make it work because of games. A couple of those years you decided to go to him, celebrating your birthday with a few friends in a hockey arena watching an Avs game before dragging Nathan out for drinks with everyone. 

This year he was particularly insistent about coming to visit for your birthday. It was your 25th and he was making it out to seem like a much bigger deal than you thought it was. It was just another day. 

He had come up the day before your birthday and the two of you spent every waking minute together. The day of your birthday you woke up to Nathan making you breakfast, coffee already brewed. 

“This is pretty impressive,” you said, shuffling tiredly into the kitchen and wrapping your arms around him, your head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

“It’s your birthday, you deserve everything.” He wraps his arms around you, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “Now sit down.”

Giggling you pull away from him, taking a seat on one of the barstools at the kitchen island. “Ally said you guys made plans later but that I need to dress nice,” you comment, watching as Nathan flips a couple pancakes onto a plate. “Will you tell me what we’re doing?”

“No,” Nathan chuckles, setting the pancakes in front of you. 

Glaring at him you pick up your fork. “Fine, but will you at least come with me and help me pick out something suitable to wear tonight?”

“Sure,” Nathan chuckles, getting himself some breakfast and joining you to eat. 

Later that day you step out of a fitting room in a knee length red wrap dress, glancing in the mirror before looking at Nathan. “What do you think of this one?”

“You look incredible,” Nathan says, leaning forward in the chair he was sitting in. 

You glance over as one of the sales associates comes into the back, looking between you and Nathan for a minute. “Anniversary dinner?”

Laughing softly you shake your head. “My birthday.”

“Oh,” she says, smiling softly. “You two are just really cute.”

“We’re going to get married,” Nathan chuckles. 

“We’re not,” you tell the sales associate quickly, glancing at Nathan through the mirror. “He’s joking, we’re just friends.”

“Oh,” she comments again, grabbing a few dresses from a hanger before heading back into the store. 

“Nathan, what the hell?” You exclaim, giggling as you turn back around to look at him. “Is this the one?” You ask, gesturing to the dress and changing the topic. 

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

After changing back into your clothes you and Nathan take the dress to the front counter. When you notice Nathan pulling out his wallet you quickly push his hand away. “No,” you say quietly. 

“It’s your birthday,” he retorts, pulling a credit card out of his wallet. 

Rolling your eyes you give in, knowing you weren’t going to get out of letting him pay for it. Once you two leave the store you grab a coffee, spending the day doing nothing but hanging out with each other. And to be honest there wasn’t a single other thing you would have rather been doing. Whenever Nate was in town or you were in Denver it felt like a missing piece in your life was filled. 

It was many hours later before you were fully dressed and ready for the night, heading out with Nathan who insisted on driving because he refused to tell you where you were actually going. But it wasn’t long before you realized it was your favourite restaurant which you didn’t go to often because of the price and fact that you needed to make reservations weeks in advance if you wanted to be sure you could get in. 

Glancing over at Nate you smile softly, watching his eyes focused on the road in front of him. I love you. It wasn’t the first time you wanted to say it. In fact, you had even said it before. But it was always followed up by ‘you’re my best friend’ to take away from what it really meant. Nate looks over at you, catching you watching him. 

“What?” Nate asks, looking back out the window as he slows down and pulls into a spot near the front of the restaurant. 

“Nothing,” you tell him quietly, reaching over and unbuckling your seatbelt. “I’m just really glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” he replies, quickly climbing out of the car. Your attention is caught by the speed with which Nate hops out of the car, hurrying around the front of it. 

You can’t help but giggle, watching as he gets to your side, pulling the door open. “Almost broke into a sprint there,” you tease, eyes widening as Nate grabs your hand to help you out of the car. “It’s my birthday, not my coronation.”

Nate chuckles, closing the door behind you once you were out of the car. “Anything for you.”

You glance down at your hands, Nate’s hand still locked with yours. But you don’t pull away, keeping the embrace as you two walk up to the restaurant and all the way to the table where a group of your friends were already waiting. 

“Happy birthday,” your best friend cheers, hopping up to wrap her arms around you. “You and Nate look cozy,” she whispers in her ear while her arms were around you. 

Laughing you shake your head, pulling away. “Just friends,” you remind her, for what felt like the millionth time. 

“Right,” she draws out, rolling her eyes with a playful smile. 

After a few more happy birthday hugs and hellos you sit down beside Nate. Chatter ensues around the table as drinks are ordered. Shortly after you have a glass of pinot noir in front of you and Nate has moved a little closer, his arm around the back of your chair.

The dinner goes by quicker than you would have liked. A few glasses of wine and a delicious dinner later your friends are handing over the gifts they had brought with them. After you had opened the gifts from your friends you notice Nate watching you closely, clutching a little box in his hand. 

“Happy birthday,” he whispers as he hands the box to you. 

Opening it slowly you look down at the gorgeous necklace in the box. You knew immediately that it cost more than all the other jewelry you owned combined and it was more than you could have ever asked for or anticipated. “Nathan,” you whisper, looking up at him. “Thank you so much…you didn’t have to.”

“Oh my god, put it on,” your friend comments, downing the rest of her martini. 

You slowly and carefully pull the necklace out of the box and Nate stands up, helping you put the necklace on without hesitation. “Happy twenty-fifth,” he whispers before sitting back down. 

As soon as the words leave his mouth it all comes back to you. 25. You look over at him, staring into his eyes to try and figure out if he knew the weight of 25 as well or if he was simply saying it because it was a fact, you were 25 now. But you know that he remembered too. 

You try to keep your focus on the moment, on the dinner and your friends. But you couldn’t stop your thoughts from drifting the rest of the night. To Nate. To the necklace. To how much you loved him. To the fact that you were both 25 now. 

After dinner everyone heads outside and you can’t stop yourself from taking Nathan’s hand, pulling him a little closer. Outside you say goodbyes as everyone heads off in their Ubers. There was no question that you would be spending the night with Nathan. Your friends were around all the time and they knew when Nathan was in town you wanted to be around him as much as humanly possible. 

Once everyone was gone you turn to look up at Nate. The sky was dark, the evening cool but not too cold. The street was unbelievably quiet, as if the world had been put on pause. Everything felt perfect. “So we’re both twenty-five now,” you whisper. 

Nathan takes your other hand in his, pulling you a little closer. “And neither of us are married.”

Laughing softly you shake your head. “Twenty-five seemed so old at the time. I really thought we’d have it all figured out.”

“I do have something figured out.”

“Just one thing?” you tease. 

“One pretty big thing,” Nate tells you, voice quiet. 

“And what is it?”

“That I love you,” Nate says. “So much more than I’ve ever let you know. And I would marry you right now if that’s what you actually wanted but I don’t think a daisy when we were eleven is a great proposal.”

You inhale sharply, your lungs not seeming to be able to take in or exhale air steadily anymore. “Nathan,” you whisper, taking your hands from his and quickly lifting them up to wrap your arms around him. “I…I love you too. I have for so long.” Pulling back you look into Nathan’s eyes for a couple minutes before leaning closer. Nathan gets the hint quickly, closing the space and kissing you gently. It’s soft and passionate and so full of emotions that you feel a little dizzy, like you weren’t even on the planet in that moment anymore. Like it was all a fuzzy, incredibly dream. 

“Let’s go back to my apartment,” you whisper against his lips, still clutching onto him as if the second you let go everything that had just happened would vanish from reality. 

But you force yourself to pull away from him, to get into your car and go back to your apartment. 

You get to your apartment and you’re barely through the door before your hands are back all over him. He’s held you before, cuddled and hugged but when his hands slide around your waist this time it fills you with an unfamiliar excitement. Kissing Nate felt so natural, like you were made for each other. It’s not long before you’ve made your way into the bedroom, clothes scattered around the floor. 

While it’s not the first time you had slept with Nathan it’s the first time that it felt like it meant something real. 

The next morning you wake up wrapped in Nathan’s arms, a far cry from the mornings before when you woke up alone with Nate on the couch. The morning is slow as you climb out of bed, spending the morning cuddled on the couch watching tv and drinking coffee in nothing but Nathan’s t-shirt. 

“What now?” You ask after being up for a couple hours, back pressed to Nate’s chest, his arm draped over your shoulders. 

“What do you mean?” Nathan asks softly. 

“This…us. You’re going back to Denver tomorrow morning and we…,” you trail off, trying to hold back the fact that you were on the verge of tears. Blinking quickly you try to keep the tears from spilling from your eyes. 

“We what?” Nate’s voice is gentle but you can tell he doesn’t realize you’re about to cry, doesn’t realize how upset you are. 

You can’t stop the uneven inhale that makes your shoulders shake and Nate clues into your emotions. He reaches over, taking the mug of coffee out of your hands and setting it on the table beside him. He gently tugs your arm to turn you around and face him, pulling you into him. You rest your head on his shoulder as you let a couple tears slip from your eyes. “I don’t want you to go.”

Nate swallows heavily, running his hand along your back. “Come with me.”

A sarcastic laugh shakes your body as you pull back to look into Nate’s eyes. “I can’t just go with you. I have a job here, an apartment, and you live in a different country. I can’t just…leave.”

“I’d help you figure it out, you know we can deal with all that,” Nate whispers. 

“It’s so sudden, I don’t even know what we are. Are we together? Are we still friends?”

“We’ll always be friends,” Nathan tells you, leaning forward to kiss you gently. “But I think we’re beyond being just friends at this point.”

You kiss him back, you can’t stop yourself. Because it’s been years in the making. Years of developing feelings. It’s a few minutes before you manage to pull yourself back from Nate again. “What if I can’t find a job in Denver? Am I getting my own apartment? I can’t just move to a new country without some kind of, I don’t know…visa.” 

“Slow down,” Nathan says quietly, chuckling. “You don’t need it all figured out today. Come visit for a couple weeks, stay at my place, we can figure out the rest together.”

“Okay…I’ll go with you.”

“I love you,” Nate says gently. 

“I love you too.”

[cadavercowboy]

18, 23, and 26 please also hi buddy 🥰

Hi Col <3 Hope you're having a good night bby!

18. What's your revision or rewriting process like?

On a good day, I'll do an initial edit for typos and grammar and then I copy/paste onto tumblr and save it as a draft before rereading it a million times because for some reason my monkey brain picks up on mistakes better when I read on my phone (specifically on tumblr lol). On a shitty day, I reread what I've written, despise it, and then open a fresh doc and pluck out the few salvageable bits and rewrite the entire goddamn piece until I'm sick of looking at it. Sometimes repeatedly until I have a completely different story than I started with. Then I typically ignore its existence for weeks on end before I even consider posting it.

23. Single or multi POV and why?

Is omniscient an option here? Multiple POV's ruin the flow of a story for me and I haaaaate reading them so I try to avoid it at all costs and prefer to write in an all-knowing POV so you get the full gamut of what all the characters are thinking & feeling.

26. Standalone or series and why?

Series...simply for the reason that I am unfortunately a fucking word goblin and cannot shut the hell up. I struggle to write anything short and sweet because I'm a whore for detail and my stories always just get away from me and turn into long ass monsters.

Thank you!!!!

Send me a writing ask!

[darkpoisonouslove]

1, 3, 14, 17, 18 (I’m curious 👀😂), 19, 23 for the end of the year fic asks!

Thank you!

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

Shapes of Desire. I had so much fun writing this fic (and rereading it). It's easily the best fanfic experience I've had this year. Nothing else can quite compare even if there are several other fics that I am absolutely in love with.

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

Well, my favorite is a fic (it's practically one scene just like most of my one-shots) that I wrote but haven't posted yet. It's an AU in which Griffin and Valtor ran away from the Coven together and are free to live their lives after the war is over but Griffin is having a hard time adjusting back to the normal life she had before she met Valtor (if you think she can have anything resembling normal with him there). It got pretty emotional and I love how it turned out. Guess you'll see once I post it. XD

14. a fic you didn’t expect to write

Light at the End of the Cup. I mean, it's a Coffee Shop AU and I just don't like those. At all. Usually. So this was definitely a surprise when it happened but I am not complaining. Now I have conquered the Coffee Shop AU and don't need to ever think about dealing with one again while keeping my writing record intact. XD

17. fics you’ll continue next year

Gifts Are Given to Be Taken

Have No Name for My Heart

Winx Club Rewrite

Sparks of Life (technically not one fic but it should totally count)

18. current number of wips

Ahh, too many to count. Okay, I'll count some of the outlined ones as wips because they sort of are. I just haven't started writing the actual first drafts yet. That would leave me with 15 wips that are all way too long for my poor sanity to survive.

19. any new fics to start next year

Witch x witch hunter AU

Miss Sylvane's Murder Mysteries

Water Soul

The AU with Griffin drawing Faragonda to her side during the CoL days

A story with a ghostly groom (may have been inspired by the ghostly bride trope that got on my nerves and I decided to flip it on its head)

All the leftover prompts from the 200 follower celebration (I haven't forgotten them and I WILL write them)

23. fics you wanted to write but didn’t

All the ones I listed for the previous question. XD

The two Self/less AUs

Maybe the 31-day fic collection (but I am not sure I want to work on that anymore)

Kinda wanted to do a fix-it for Fate: The Winx Saga but I am not sure I wanna invest my time in that dumpster fire. I have better things to do.

The Fae Creature AU (with Bloom and Stella)

The Truth Can Be a Dare Too

Send me fanfic end of the year asks