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#that was the year i met Shitty Ex too so like. would i have gotten him into it? would he have liked it? would we have bonded over it?
wolverinedoctorwho · 11 months
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Doing some self-reflection tonight (contemplating whether I could have handled getting into TMA when it first released in 2016)
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chericherrybaby · 5 months
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I’LL PICK YOU UP ON THE WAY HOME
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Summary, Jealous ex-boyfriend, Harry picks you up from a party after a last choice call was made from you.
Warnings, Jealous Harry?
This is so many words and not much dialogue. Enjoy the first of many!!
Harry was an ex you hadn’t spoken to in almost two years.
He was someone you had loved very much at the time, he was just a little bit too protective over you at the time, which is not what you had wanted as a 21 year old girl who’s friends loved a party.
You had never ridded his contact of your phone, it felt strange since he had been the first number to go in it after you had gotten it with him. Plus, he had never done anything wrong and you felt slightly bad for ending things the way you did.
You hadn’t been together that long at the time, you had told yourself hundreds of times, trying to rid the guilt you had whenever one of your girlfriends would tell you how miserable he was.
It was terrible that one of your girlfriends was dating his best friend, and you were a main source of topic for their entertainment.
You had thought about calling him as soon as your date had pulled up to the house, you could hear the music booming atleast 4 streets away and the place looked crammed with 17 year olds, a weird place for a 25 year old to take you on a first date.
He had led you inside the house, letting you follow his heels, greeting almost everyone that was in his path.
Your first red flag was a girl coming up to your date, who was unfortunately named Chad, you’d heard it all from your girlfriends already, and him hugging her with his hands a bit too close to somewhere they shouldn’t be.
This had made you pull your phone out, scroll down to the very bottom of your contacts and send a quick message to someone who may not even answer you, you’d been so lucky he hadn’t blocked you already and you were so grateful.
You sent a quick “hey” and hoped the recipient didn’t hate you as much as you hated yourself for texting him.
About an hour later, the party felt a bit dull compared to when you had arrived, everyone feeling lulled on the couch from everything they had drank, smoked and consumed in many other ways.
Including your date.
You had never been happier to feel your phone ringing in your back pocket and feel the excitement yet dread when your screen read “Harry Styles”
“Hello” you said sounding a little ashamed, making your way to sit on the front porch away from the booming music and the yelling of party goers who were still feeling their high.
“Hey” he replied sounding a little too groggy for you liking, like he’d woken and immediately called you “Why’d you text me? Thought you wanted nothing to do with me”
You felt your heart pang a little at this, but you could feel the hurt in his voice also “I’m at a party with a bunch of high schoolers. I need an escape”
“Gonna need more than that to get me going Y/N” he’d never sounded so irritated to you, but you also understood. The first time you’d texted him in almost two years was for an excuse to leave a party.
“Please come get me, i’ve basically been ditched and none of the girls know i’m here” You sighed feeling so ashamed you were doing this”
Harry ended the call. You waited, hoping he was still the sweet boy you had met 5 years ago.
10 minutes later, Harry’s car pulled up outside of the house. You jumped to your feet, jogged over to the car and placed yourself in his passenger seat
“Thank you so much Harry” you looked at him, your eyes pleading for his to meet yours.
He hummed in acknowledgment.
You sat in silence for 5 minutes while Harry drove in the direction opposite of your apartment, He came to a stop when he came to a quieter road with houses all using dimmed lights. He turned the car off and placed his hands in his lap.
“What are we-”
“Why have you done this to me Y/N? You know i’m still so utterly in love with you. So you text me at 11pm a shitty message saying ‘hey’”
“In my defence you’re the one who called me, you could’ve ignored my message and blocked me, you can’t blame me for your lack of self control”
You heard harry chuckle quietly to himself, that’s when you realised you’d said something that maybe you shouldn’t have.
“What are you even doing at a party full of children, you’re 23 Y/N” Harry finally looked at your face, your red cheeks prominent and wasted makeup.
His heart broke knowing after he dropped you home, you were gone again and there was nothing he could do about it.
“I was supposed to be on a first date, but instead he drove us to a high schoolers party. Basically touched up a girl right infront of my face, then got pissed and probably even high while letting me fend for myself when these are people he knows”
Harry slightly laughs to himself, but tires to cover it up by slapping his hand over his mouth. “You sure know how to pick ‘em”
“Picked you. You’re alright” You remarked back and Harry’s head quickly snapped back up to you and slightly glared at you “Sorry, that was really mean”
“I really fucking hate when you go on dates, y’know. Makes me so cross knowing ‘yer going out with all these shit guys when i’m right infront of you”
It’s like he was on his knees begging, pleading for you to love him. Tearing his heart out of his chest ready to give to you.
“You’ve always been such a jealous prick” You smirked at him and he couldn’t help his lips curling up into a smile.
“Hard not to be, look at you. You’re insane and i had my chance and fucked it with you, Cause i was scared to lose something i wanted forever”
You sighed and reached over to place your hand on top of his, he flinched away slightly. You curled your fingers around his hand and held it tightly.
“I love you” You admitted shamefully “It never went anywhere and i think i may just be slightly ashamed that i ended something so good just for what? To get drunk and dance around at a party full of strangers. When i had you waiting for me with open arms no matter the time i came back”
Harry shifted in his seat and moved towards the centre console of his car, you kicked your shoes off and sat cross legged on his passenger seat. Turning towards him, being able to see his face fully.
“You infuriate me, you know that don’t you” He says moving closer, close enough you could feel his breath of your face.
Swearing you could heart his heart beating out of his chest.
“Can you please” You thought for a second, were you making the right decision? Telling him you wanted him all over again, when you feared you may be slightly high from all the fumes in that house party.
Harry hummed gently “What would you like, Angel? Anything for you. I swear” His eyes flicked down towards your lips but quickly returned to your eyes.
“Kiss me” you practically begged him.
His lips crashed onto yours, his hands finding your jaw and cupping your cheeks while you sat in, what felt like an isolated area.
Kissing a man that you thought was just madly possessive over you, instead he just wanted the world for you, and you were the world to him.
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tinytennisskirt · 2 months
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Rematch
ex situationship patrick x reader
summary: you and patrick used to be the epitome of casual. aside from a few things... he was cheating on his girlfriend with you and all you could do from then on was hate him. eight years later, you work together. you're forced to share transportation and stay at the same hotels. The close proximity isn't much good for two people who have gotten by on avoidance. And it only becomes harder to avoid certain words. and certain actions.
warnings: smut! mentions of sex, unprotected sex. enemies to lovers- hateful words, slight miscommunication (through hating so much), a lot of swearing. somewhat edited...
“You’re hitting on my sister?” You said, overhearing him as you approached the outside gate of the tennis court. You walked over, knocking Patrick in the chest with your racket. That sly son of a bitch didn’t budge an inch. “You know she’s only nineteen? And she’s a fucking lesbian you absolute idiot.” You followed up. He just grinned. 
“I didn’t know she was any of those things,” he shrugged, hands up in surrender. “You don’t look alike. She’s actually pretty.” 
You rolled your eyes. You knew he didn’t mean what he said but still said it. “Fuck you, Zweig.”
“You used to like that, you know,” he said, grin widening to something evil. You didn’t know how he could stand in front of you and say the stupid shit he was saying, seemingly unabashed. 
“That’s enough,” your sister said to both you and him. Your racket didn’t waiver from the place it rested against his chest. You kept that warning in your eyes. “Y/N, he didn’t know. And he wasn’t inappropriate. He just said my swing was good with a weird tone.” 
“Weird tone?” Patrick repeated.
You smiled just a bit at that. “It’s better than good. You know- you are the same guy you were eight years ago somehow. Grow up and go away, Zweig,” you said, glaring at Patrick. And to think you were the sweet one in your family. It was all fun and tennis until Patrick was around. He wasn’t exactly an ex, but someone who frequented the bed in your dorm room eight years ago at Stanford. He was a drug of choice, a situational type of person who when visiting his friend Art Donaldson, would also visit you, a few dorms down. 
It was hot. He’d be sneaking around with you at parties, finding unoccupied rooms to kiss you with a force that usually winded you, wide hands on your waist, holding you close against a wall, a door, and sometimes the floor. If he saw you in the cafeteria all it took was a glance at you to communicate exactly which stall in the bathroom to meet him in while he excused himself from Art and Tashi Duncan. He’d be in your room late at night making you finish in three different ways and walking back to his friend’s room at four in the morning. 
Sometimes you’d make out for hours on end with only touching, but all of it, every action, every trace of his finger, every word was all traced with lust. Sometimes you swore he liked you, lingering after you both had finished, still grazing his hands over the curve of your hip, kissing your forehead, tucking your hair behind your ear… It was supposed to be casual, you reminded yourself. He was too attached. 
The funny thing was, you’d been in Stanford tennis too, a hometown prodigy with a father successful in the tennis world. Tashi called nepotism and you never got along, but you and Tashi never hated each other more when she found out you were fucking her boyfriend. If you had known you wouldn’t have been doing it, but the damage was done and there was no apology for a girl who fucked her knee up after a big fight with Patrick. No apology could include the extent of how sorry you were without telling her what for. 
And you met with Patrick just to yell at him. He was a shitty person with shitty morals and you made sure he knew that. And even in all the yelling, you still fucked him in your car. But that was the last time. The second your lips disconnected for the last time, it was supposed to be the last time you spoke to him. And it was simple. “Fuck you. You’re an asshole, I never want to see you again.” His eyebrows furrowed as you collected your clothes and disappeared back home. 
It went well, not seeing him again. He stopped visiting his friend who had sided with Tashi, he had no reason to come around. But he picked up a job coaching in the area you moved to seven years later. Your boss was a powerful woman and the pay was amazing, so Patrick became your coworker and you put up with that. And it was awful, but you scheduled yourself away from him and your paths only crossed at meetings and maybe once every few months, but it was still too much. You made do with the few words you had to give him, but other than that you stayed far away, and rightfully so. The only conversations you’d had in all of the year you’d been around him again were easy jabs, quips, argumentative things. But for the sake of your job, it didn’t go farther than easy insults. You still hated him for what he did, for how he used you when he was seeing Tashi. For how he treated you when he had a whole girlfriend waiting for him after hours. You weren’t proud of what you did and he was just a living reminder of something that haunted you. 
He was this adult douchebag-type now- you swore you saw him with two different women at the cafe you passed on your way to work. You could mind your business, but it was fucked to know he hadn’t changed. Eight years and no change. So yeah, Patrick talking to your sister, granted- step-sister, was something you had to nip in the bud. 
Patrick nodded, his jaw tensing. “Your sister here is my student today.” He said, gesturing to the split court. Sometimes split courts happened, but you’d only been paired with him on one once. “The list here says so.” He uncrumpled a piece of paper from his pocket and pointed at her name. 
“So you’ll switch me. Easy,” You stated, trying all you could not to hit him with another insult. Your sister picked up her rackets, moving to your side so Patrick didn’t have a say. It was your turn to smile. “You’re lucky I don’t fucking report you.” You added. 
“You’d miss having me around too much, I don’t think you have it in you,” He replied. 
You narrowed your eyes, “Get a grip.” You said, turning away from him. You heard his low chuckle as he called your student over. You rubbed your face while you walked to the other side, trying to wipe away the feeling you’d lost brain cells just talking to him. This was why you didn’t engage with him- it never went well. “Sorry.” You apologized to your sister. 
“It’s fine, honestly. He’s such a dick.” 
“I know,” you sighed. “I’m unfortunately cursed with knowing when Patrick has the intention to flirt. He’s fucking obvious.” You said, grabbing a ball. 
Your sister laughed. “He was coming on a little weird. To be fair I think he thought I was some random girl outside the court. But this is why I don’t date men.” 
You were glad you didn’t have to see him for another two months. You continued to train your sister as the other girls you were training had all fallen off. Your company made sure to only train the most competitive of girls and that was your sister for sure. She was amazing- not better than you- but amazing. When the time came for another Junior US Open, she was the perfect candidate for it. Your company, your boss, she usually sent two, booked them and their trainer a room at an amazing nearby hotel, paid for travel and food and gave a spending bonus for the hard work and you were hoping to god that it was your sister. You’d lost the Junior US Open to a twisted ankle- and Tashi Duncan and it would be amazing to see your sister go and win. 
She had worked so hard for it. And finally, your boss called all the trainers in for a meeting. There were ten of you, some with two students, most with only one, but you all sat in the fluorescent-lit room in front of the projector that projected the logo of the company on the white wall. Your boss thanked you all for coming and congratulated all of you on all your amazing seasons and work coaching the students. Talking about the best of the best. Eventually came to the portion where she would name the two students who were going to the open, the two that were going on the trip. 
And she said your sister's name. Your chest filled with excitement and happiness and pride and obviously you had to contain it. You were going back to the Junior US Open, it was an amazing way to get her name out there as a player and make everything all worthwhile. You started thinking up creative ways to tell her, thinking about the company limo on the way up, thinking about how to increase training all crossing your mind. “-And Simon Abernathy.” She added. For the boy's division. His name was familiar. 
And it was no wonder. Patrick clapped once out of success and you felt your eye twitch just a bit. It was his student, it was Patrick’s student, which meant you’d be with him this entire trip. He would be one of the only people you knew out that way- and it would be just him, you, and your students. There was only one word and it slipped out of your mouth quietly enough to go unnoticed. “Fuck.” You avoided Patrick’s gaze, but you just knew he had that big stupid grin on his face. 
When the car pulled up outside of your apartment, you insisted on putting your own bag in the trunk. It was just how you were. You were first to be picked up and it was always fun to be in a limo. A road trip was still a road trip, two days to be specific and it would have been something to look forward to if it wasn’t for him. Thank god you picked up your sister next, then Simon, then Patrick. You and your sister were far too engaged in your conversation to think about the boys on the other end. You talked about training, and game day, and you went over what it was like when you competed. 
The day passed by, book in hand, iPod on, and earbuds plugged in. You stopped once for lunch and another for gas but at the end of the night you were at a nice motel. Nothing like the motels you knew when you were in the Junior Open. In this motel, everything worked properly, smelled nice, and was actually clean. Patrick, unloading his bag for the night passed you yours and you said the only word you’d said to him all day- “Thanks.”
You and your sister hung out in your motel room, two-bed, talking about the day. She lay like a starfish on her bed, but she rolled over to face you as you pulled on your pajama shirt. “You never told me why you hate Patrick so much.” She said, eyes wide. You just groaned and rolled onto your back. “Come on. You obviously know each other from something.” 
“I will be so honest with you, I am too tired to get into it,” You said. “I just… ugh.” 
“It’s fine- like you don’t have to give me all the details, I just want to know why.” She replied, moving to sit on the edge of your bed. “You guys dated, right?” 
You covered your face, “Not exactly.” 
“Okay, so? What happened? I’m nineteen, Y/N, come on.” 
You hated talking about it, you hated admitting it. Knowing that he was one of the few men in the world to ever touch you but the only one who had left impact, left you wanting in his wake, the only one to make you finish… It was crazy, it was despicable. You hated remembering it had only ever been him to touch you right. And now you were admitting it to your sister. “Casual… sex. Friends, almost. Mostly the benefits.” You said, trying to keep it simple. Her eyes widened even larger. “Turns out he was cheating on his girlfriend with me.”
“He’s just a dick,” she nodded, understanding. “I’m so sorry, that must have put you in an awful position.” 
“I felt awful, I still feel awful,” you told her. “One of the worst things I’ve ever done.” 
“I get that,” she nodded. “Was he any good anyways?” 
You hated the question. “No.” You lied. “Awful.” 
She laughed, “Makes sense.” You knew she had more questions but didn’t want to pry. Besides, you were both tired. She showered before bed and by the time she got out, you were asleep, waiting for the next day of the road trip to be over. In the morning you showered, tied your hair up, and got into the car again with your sister. Patrick and Simon were doing their own things as the car got back onto the road. 
You continued listening to music, looking out the window, shutting out the sounds of the car. Your sister watched you change the song three times, but when her gaze shifted back to the conversation with Simon, she noticed Patrick’s eyes on you. Knowing what she knew now, she hated him just a little bit more. She watched him for a bit and he didn’t look away, so she addressed him to take his attention off of you before you noticed. 
That night at another motel, your sister was much too tired to stay up watching the motel television bullshit with you and passed right out on top of her covers. You fixed that, obviously, but after getting into bed yourself you let an hour pass with no sleep. You just couldn’t, no matter what you tried. At that point, you said fuck it and put your bathing suit on. The motel had a hot tub and a pool and maybe a quick swim could tire you out. You wrapped yourself in a towel and headed out to where the motel pool was. The lights from within the pool gave off a sort of aquamarine tint to the things around it- it was the only source of light aside from the ones lining the wall of the motel and the shining motel sign that flashed gold and red. It was perfectly dim and the night was perfectly still, just as the empty pool was. You put your towel to the side and waded in, pulling your hair up into some lazy updo so it wouldn’t get soaked in pool water. You were barely up to your shoulders when his voice spoke up, “It’s a bit late to swim, don’t you think? Isn’t it your thing to get an early sleep for an early start?” He asked. Patrick was in the hot tub, you’d completely missed him. 
“Maybe when I was playing or when I’m coaching, but we’re in the middle of nowhere with no court in sight.” You replied. “Can I just enjoy my swim, please? I won’t bother you if you don’t bother me.” 
“Fair,” he replied. You could hardly see him in the dim of the pool lights, but you could make out his figure, arm draped over the edge of the hot tub like he was reversing a car. “Since you said please.” 
“Uh huh,” You replied. You didn’t stay for as long as you intended. Being alone anywhere with him was too gross for comfort. Neither he nor you said goodnight when you went back to your room, showered, and fell asleep.
The next stretch of road was the last before the hotel. You were set up nicely and you thanked the concierge boys who helped you with your bags as you went to the front desk to retrieve your room keys, everything dealt with already by your boss. You handed the keys out. “Here’s how this is going to work. There’s a week before the Junior Open and this hotel, even if it comes across as luxury, it’s here so you can get a good, safe, comfortable rest on the days leading up. If Patrick and I have nothing on the schedule for you, you’re free to roam around the local area, however, curfew is 11. Please check your emails for the daily schedule.” 
Simon nodded and Patrick looked like he didn’t pay any attention- why would he anyway? “Sounds good,” Your sister smiled. “And we get our own rooms?” 
“We have the second-to-top floor suite. It’s like four hotel rooms joined into one, attached to a main bathroom, living room, place to eat, and a kitchen. Kind of like a house with a four-person hotel hallway built in.” You said. You were so excited to finally lock yourself away in your hotel room with a book and not have to sit in a car with Patrick for hours at a time. Sure, he’d be nearby but the hotel and its amenities would make for an amazing way to keep yourself far from him. He plucked his key card out of your hand and as he passed, you could smell his cologne. 
The room was amazing and the view was even more beautiful. There was a balcony in the suite as well as in your room, but the joined balcony beat that one out for a better view. You curled up in your super comfortable hotel bed with your book and finished it before dinner. Your sister came in and out wondering what she should wear to the Junior Open, already stressing about that because she didn’t want to stress about the actual game. You helped for a bit, then you went out to the main room. 
“Simon, do you have dinner plans?” You asked him. He was on the couch playing with some portable video game device. 
“Nah, I was thinking room service. My parents gave me a hundred to spend.” He said. 
You nodded, “I was thinking the same thing.” Your sister agreed, busy going through her schedule. So you ordered room service for everyone, sending Simon to go see what Patrick wanted. You were surprised he even stuck around the room and wasn’t at the casino downstairs or out at some club already. Dirtbag activities. 
The next day was a late start, but you and your sister went down to the hotel gyms to work out a bit before going to the hotel courts to practice. Three days until the game. You practiced all methods, swings, serves, and Patrick and Simon practiced in the next court over. Then you went separate ways for lunch just to meet back after at the court. You were done around four so you didn’t overdo it and the rest of the night was free. You and your sister continued to talk strategy and gossip over cranberry juice in the main room of the suite and you were vaguely aware of Patrick sitting in the corner going through his phone, his hand on his head, elbow resting on his knee. He looked up at one point, meeting your eyes and you looked away. The price you paid for being curious. Your sister and Simon, both tired from the day went to their rooms a little early. You decided to get dressed properly and head downstairs to the casino and play a few hands of whatever games they had going. 
You adjusted the length of your skirt as you sat down at the table and took part in everything happening. You were dealt in and in only a small amount of time, you had a good amount of money owed to you. You were definitely on a roll. “Didn’t know you gambled,” Patrick said, sitting beside you on the empty stool. You groaned out loud, rolling your eyes. “You're good, too, what is this, around $400?” 
“$700, and what are you doing here?” 
“I can’t enjoy the casino?” 
“You couldn’t enjoy any other game?” You asked, not even caring to look his way. You raised your hand to signal the dealer to let you out of the game. 
Patrick waved the dealer off and turned to face you better, “Don’t stop just because I’m here. And I like this game- my favourite one, actually, and the only table that has it.” He told you. You looked at him, hoping your eyes would burn through him. But he looked maybe half genuine, aside from the smirk. It was your favourite game too. 
“You’re just going to lose to me, you know that, right?”
“I’m okay with that,” he smiled and his eyes met yours. “Or, I’m okay with you thinking that. Say goodbye to your $700.” His grin slowly crawled up his face.
“Uh-huh?” You laughed at him as he got himself dealt into the game. It was a laugh of disbelief- one, that he thought he could win and two, that he was really that sure. “You’re really still that sure of yourself?” 
“Still? You think I’m sure of myself?” 
“It’s not a compliment, Zweig.” Your laughing at him died down just a little, you couldn’t maintain it when he was just such a fucking loser.
“I am that sure of myself.” He replied. “You don’t think I can?” 
You shook your head and spoke firmly. No. I don’t think you can.” Your tongue pressed against your cheek and you pushed all your winnings to the centre, eyes not leaving his. “Try me.” Anything to put him in his place, truly. You could taste the win in your mouth the way it handed itself to you on a platter. And Patrick put a little extra money in on top of yours and the other player’s, eyes not leaving yours. But he did end up looking away first and the hand began. 
He had good cards and knew how to play them, but yours were better and you knew how to use them to their fullest potential. You placed yours down and they were better and the hand was about to go to you, but at the very last moment, unexpectedly, another player had a card just above yours and it was over, just like that. The man swept away your winnings and you just scoffed. 
“You were that sure of yourself?” Patrick replied. “Nice.” 
“Nice? Asshole.” You got up from your chair and grabbed your purse, ready to move on to another game at another table and let him enjoy his ‘favourite’. “My cards were above yours anyway.” You said as your face passed his. He just grinned as you walked away. 
You were good at other games, thank god. It wasn’t all lost money. You won another $350 by midnight and decided to stop and leave behind the men who had been hitting on you during the last few hands of poker. You were happy with the winnings and the fact Patrick hadn’t been seen the rest of your night. It was a good distraction either way. 
You bought yourself a bottle of iced tea with your winnings and walked over to the elevator, pressing the button to go up to the suite and using your key card to confirm it. It was just your luck that Patrick walked into the elevator. “You have your own keycard, you know that, right?” You sighed, turning away from him and pulling out your phone to pay attention to anything else as the doors closed, locking you in there with him.
He held it up, then shoved it into his pocket. “So did you end up winning your money back? I watched your games, you’re not all that great at poker. I don’t think a career in gambling is in the cards.”
“I think I missed the part where I asked, Zweig.” You stated, folding your arms. “And I think you missed all of the context clues that tell you that I don’t want to talk to you.” 
“You’re so angry,” he remarked, leaning against the metal elevator wall. “Isn’t it exhausting?” 
“Not as exhausting as talking to you.” 
“Fuck you,” he replied. 
You turned to look at him, pausing a beat just to look at him in disbelief. “You used to like that, you know?” 
“You’re not better than me for anything that happened after. You knew I cheated and you still fucked me after, you remember that one?” 
“It wasn’t very memorable,” You chuckled to yourself even though it was one of the biggest lies you’d ever told anyone. He’d put you in a corner. Of course, you knew you weren’t better than him for that last time. It haunted you, but not much more than the entirety of it haunted you. His lips against your lips, his lips against your skin, his lips between your thighs, they were memories that acted like ghosts. All of it was wrong, every kiss, every touch. It was sickening to remember that it wasn’t just you- and that it wasn’t just Tashi either. It was memorable, all of it, but for all the wrong and right reasons, and those right reasons were ten times more haunting because it was so wrong that it felt right. You knew Patrick sensed the lie but you couldn’t act like it. “I can be civil with you, Zweig, if you leave me alone like you have the past year or so. I don’t want to talk to you, why can’t you get that through your head?” 
He was silent, just staring at you, no grin on his face, not even a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. And as soon as the elevator doors opened, he funneled out and right up to his room. You let out a breath and blinked a few times to recalibrate. You took your melatonin, changed, washed up, and headed to bed. 
The next day he kept up exactly that. He didn’t address you, he hardly even looked at you and even if he did, you didn’t notice, you were far too busy. The Junior US Open was tomorrow. You woke up your sister at dawn to go to a hotel aquafit class and then dry off and hit the court. Patrick was there with Simon running east swing drills and you got your sister working hard. She was more than ready, you knew that, but you also knew that giving her any break would make her believe that you didn’t think so, so you kept her going. 
Simon called to you and your sister. “Doubles? For fun, before lunch?” He asked, walking over. Patrick stared at the ground as he walked over just a few steps behind. Poor guy didn’t know the vendetta both you and your sister had against Patrick. She nodded, so you nodded. You hadn’t played in a match in a while, honestly. It was all training and hitting the ball back and forth. 
You stood opposite Patrick on the court and it reminded you of a time when you had played him and Art next to Tashi, for fun. How you didn’t know they were together was beyond you, but you did remember how Art looked at her. You had to blink a few times to get the imagery out of your head as Simon served the ball. You were lucky your sister was on it. 
Patrick still played rough, swinging hard just to challenge your sister a bit. You appreciated the push from him if you were honest. She needed it. It was a good game and there were a few flop swings from you and Patrick that were laughable. You laughed more at him than yourself but he didn’t seem to mind it at all. He just dribbled the ball and served it back to you to hit it over to Simon, etc. 
Your sister watched how Patrick’s eyes stayed on you when the ball was over with Simon being served. She couldn’t help but think it was a little weird how he seemed to be fighting a smile and she followed up with wondering why. And you didn’t notice at all. 
Lunch was good, but you were back to it until dinner, then at the gym after dinner doing a bit of yoga. Your sister turned to you, “He knows that you don’t like him?” She asked. You hated knowing who ‘he’ was. 
“Mhm,” You hummed, stretching upward.
“He doesn’t act like he cares very much.” 
You looked over at her, “I don’t care if he cares. And he’s had around seven years to not care about any repercussions, so that’s just on the passage of time.” 
She moved into downward dog, “Have you talked about it?” 
“No.” You answered. “Kind of. When it had just happened. But that was all I ever said to him about it.” You disregarded last night. “He knows what he did was wrong and I don’t let him forget.” Your mind slipped back to what it felt to lay in his arms afterward, the way he kissed your hair and still cupped your face, the way all of it was wrong, the entire time. And how it felt to feel his hand trail against your skin as you pulled yourself away from him that very last time in your car. 
She clicked her tongue, “I can’t believe you have to work with him. Couldn’t you get him fired for so many things?” 
You nodded, but it hadn’t ever occurred to you why you hadn’t. It would have been simple, a collection of evidence and a complaint and surely he’d be out, but you hadn’t done anything like it. “I could.” You replied. “But I’m not that much of a bitch.” 
“You’re never a bitch,” your sister laughed. “You only become one when he’s around.” 
It was true. And later that night the only hint of Patrick there was, was the eye contact you made with him on the way up to your room. He sat on the couch on his phone while you exited the balcony with your cup of tea. Then it was early bed- the Junior US Open was tomorrow. 
That rolled around all too quickly. You got your sister up early for a massage and a stretch, you ordered her a protein shake as she stressed the entire time. You only spoke in affirmations all morning as you double and triple-checked that she had everything she needed, rackets, water, food, etc. The day was warm with a perfect cool breeze that was gentle enough to play tennis in. You tried not to let the stress of the day get to you as you were driven to the courts. You reminded your sister of all she trained for and she was more than excited, she was bouncing more than the tennis balls were around the court as she warmed up. She wasn’t on until later, so you hit the ball back and forth to pass the time outside. 
Game in game out she was a winner and she knew it, winning her games consecutively. 
In between, you watched Simon’s games and he did well until he didn’t, falling behind. Your sister continued later and by the time she was on the very last game, you knew she was a winner. You were on the sidelines cheering her on. She won, of course, she won. 
She came right to you and hugged you tightly, thanking you for everything. It was an amazing victory and nothing could ruin it. 
The car ride back to the hotel was your sister just yapping uncontrollably about the details of her game to poor Simon, who had not won. She was so excited about it, she was talking endlessly. Patrick was engaging with her at her own speed and you were tired, it was a good thing someone could do with all that she had to say. 
She had the biggest nap of her life when she got back to the hotel room. She was almost asleep in the car and she was lucky she made it to bed. You had a nap on her hotel room couch, that’s how tired you were as well. It was a big day. You woke up around seven pm, but she was still dead asleep. You snuck out quietly and into your room. You’d finished your book, your phone was boring, and Simon honestly wasn’t the best company so you showered the day off, dried your hair, put your makeup on and got dressed again. 
Just a black skirt and a comfortable black long-sleeved shirt, some jewelry you liked, and a bit of sparkle to your eyeshadow. You deserved it. All that and some easy kitten heels and you headed downstairs to the restaurant and bar. It was beautiful, warmly lit and dim, stained glass between the bar and the kitchen casting the light through the panes in different colours across the bar. You ordered a vodka cranberry and ate the lime out of it first. 
“What’s a pretty girl like you doing here all alone?” A man said. It wasn’t any man you knew, but a stranger. He came from behind you, old, but not too old, and a little bit handsome aside from the obvious aging. “I’ve never seen a pretty woman alone at a hotel bar. Hotel bars are for the straggling men, lost in the city. Like that one over there,” he said, pointing to the other end of the bar. You weren’t sure why your stomach flipped when you saw it was Patrick. He didn’t seem to see you, but he sat there at the bar with a short glass of what you knew was whiskey, swirling it around, his head resting against his fist. He was wearing a black t-shirt and black pants, having changed from earlier as well. “Now what’s your story, I’m curious.” 
You turned your attention back to the handsome older man. “Tennis,” you told him. And it sparked up a conversation that was really more insightful than the being hit on that you were expecting- not that you weren’t bought drinks by two other men at the bar who smirked from where they sat at a booth. The man seemed to be in his early sixties with some good things to say and you listened intently, not noticing Patrick’s eyes on you from where he sat. 
It was good to talk to someone so removed from the tennis world who had so much to say about investing in stocks and surprisingly, you didn’t hate it. You sipped your drink, getting a little surprised at the attention you were getting and it was something new. The night continued with more men hitting on you, trying to sit with you… You weren’t the most beautiful woman ever but you weren’t ugly… this was a lot either way. The night continued to pass. 
When Patrick got up, you noticed it, he locked eyes with you, raising his eyebrows and chuckling. At what? At you? You watched his tongue press into his cheek before he pointed at you on his way by… it took a moment to realize what exactly it was he was pointing at until you looked down. Your shirt with only a few buttons at the top, had all of the buttons undone and you had somehow not noticed. Your bra was on display like a hooker or like some common whore and you knew Patrick’s chuckle was at exactly that. 
“Fuck!” You said, turning away from the man and getting up without explaining a thing. You must have looked a little crazy. Patrick laughed out loud as he passed you; your anger and embarrassment got the best of you. Your voice became genuine, “Did you know the whole time?” 
He looked at you, looking at the hand that covered the undone buttons, “Almost, yeah.” You didn’t want to be angry, instead, you just stayed humiliated, your eyebrows furrowing. You couldn’t be mad, not now. So many paid-for drinks you didn’t even drink and so many compliments you’d taken so graciously and you didn’t know and he did? “I thought maybe it was on purpose, though. Maybe if I haven’t changed, you haven’t either.” He said. And now you could be angry. He couldn’t be unaffected, he couldn’t be normal. What he meant by what he said was that you were a slut. And that wasn’t fair.
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that and let it go because you’re drunk.” You said, straightening yourself out, trying to shake him off. “Not because you’re just an asshole who can’t mind his own business.” 
“I know my business- it’s you who came to the bar after me, today. If you wanted space so badly, why follow me?” 
“Follow you? Don’t flatter yourself, Zweig.” Your conversation moved just a few steps outside the hotel bar and into a corner of the vast lobby. You chuckled at the fact he really thought so. “I wanted a drink so I got a drink, like an adult who goes to a bar, I didn’t know these are your moping grounds.” 
He shook his head, rolling his eyes, “And you wanted civil?” 
“Everything you say is so completely self-absorbed. You’re obsessed with yourself, honestly get a fucking room. It’s disgusting how much you want to fuck yourself, pardon my reaction to it.”
He just grinned, “Yeah, okay, have fun with your senior citizen, how’s the bra thing working out for you?” 
You shook your head, tone changing again, “That- I didn’t know. I’m mortified.” 
“I’m sure. You know most women who are trying to gold dig go for a more subtle route.” He said, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes. 
“That’s enough,” You snapped. “That’s enough. You’ve been drinking, I’m not arguing with you over something so stupid as the buttons on my shirt. You’re not worth it. You’re not worth a second of my time, you are so beneath me, I am so past you. You are so pathetic, thinking I still give a fuck about what you think of me.” 
“That’s what you think of me? I’m pathetic. You say you don’t care but you seem to care an awful fucking lot.” That terrible fucking grin was so aggravating. 
“Then you’re delusional. Grow up, honestly. I asked you to leave me alone, not slut shame me for some stupid buttons. How much would it have cost your ego to have told me that my buttons were undone? I hate you but I would have had the decency to tell you if this was you in this situation. Fuck!” You ran your hand through your hair and the argument paused for a beat, then two. You breathed out heavily, turning, your hand still on your chest. And you just started walking toward the elevator. What else could you do but just walk away? He was the problem but you became one too when you were with him. It was almost unavoidable when everything he said upset you for reasons both explainable and inexplicable. You had no control over it all, you just had too much to say, so much internalized rage for what you’d done, for the position he’d put you in all those years ago. You were glad the elevator was empty as you scanned for the suite and the doors closed, but the elevator didn’t move, it just made a clunking noise and you knew, as the doors opened again, that there was no escape from this personal hell. Thank god you only had a day and a half left here with him, you thought, as the doors let him into the elevator with you. 
“Walk away like you had no part in that, yeah,” he said, moving to his side of the elevator. You groaned out loud, rolling your eyes so far back it hurt. “Reminds me of the other time you did the same thing.” 
“Was last night not enough?” You laughed in genuine disbelief. “You put me in a disgusting position that nobody should have to be in. You cheated! On your perfect girlfriend! With me, over and over and over and I had no idea because you didn’t have the decency to tell either of us.” 
“I was also nineteen years old!” He retaliated. “You expected me to have my shit all sorted out? I’m sorry I wasn’t a five-year-plan type of guy!” 
“That’s a crazy take when not cheating is one of the easiest things to do.” You laughed, scoffing when you caught your breath. “You used me.” 
Another beat, his eyes softened just in the slightest. “I didn’t use you.” He replied. “For what? For sex?” 
You guessed he didn’t need you for that. The elevator became uncomfortable as it rose between floors. Both of your hands fell to your sides, the top of your shirt falling open again unnoticed. You just blinked at his words, looking away. But no, what? You went right back into it, “Then why? Tell me that you weren’t just selfish, keeping two girls around to satisfy yourself beyond the regular needs of a man. Tell me that you weren’t only thinking about yourself and not the feelings of both your own girlfriend and the girl you’d sneak out to see. You made me some fucking mistress! The other woman, I didn’t know I was the other woman, can you imagine what finding that out feels like? The guilt? The shame? Tell me you weren’t just selfish.” 
“Not everything comes down to that. You’re seeing this how you want to see it. You are at fault, you are not innocent in this. You knew and you still fucked me and-” Patrick hit the pause elevator button and you just glared. “No matter what you said to me afterward, you still did it. None of this is linear or organized, it just fucking happened. You are not the victim you say you are, you deserve a good portion of that guilt because you fucked me, even after, no matter what you’ve done to shut that part out.” He said. You felt the fire behind your own eyes. 
“I haven’t shut it out, I’ve grown past it. What you did is still wrong.” 
“I know that! I know that- I ended up with nothing when it was all said and done. I was fine with not having Tashi, but-” he paused and pressed a hand to his temple for just a half-second. “You’re still so angry! It’s hard to believe you’ve grown past it when you’re still reminding me of one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made constantly.” 
You scoffed again, “I’m sorry you can’t deal with your own problems and the shit you put on me still haunts me. How is it you get to live it down and I don’t?” 
“I haven’t fucking lived it down.” 
“Pathetic.” 
“Fuck you. Honestly.” He said. “I made a mistake as a teenager, I don’t know how to go back and fix how I felt about you. I can’t take anything back so I don’t know what you want me to do here. Was I selfish? Yeah, I was. You’re right. Does that make you feel better about yourself? Do you feel like less of a victim now? I’m so sure of myself, yeah, okay, at least I haven’t tricked myself into believing I disliked how wrong it felt.”
You blinked hard and hit the elevator button again so it would begin to move once again. “You think I liked it?” 
“I think you did. I think some part of you hated Tashi and you liked the fact you could have me once more for good measure. I think that is what ‘haunts’ you. That you liked it.” He said. And the elevator doors opened to the empty main room of the suite. You stepped out the second you could, trying to get away from this so desperately. “I admit I’m selfish so you can admit that. Or at least try and admit it to yourself.” 
At those words, you tossed your purse on the couch and turned on your kitten heel. You walked right back up to him and pressed your pointer finger to his chest. “You are still so fucking self-absorbed that you think I liked being your side-chick or whatever the hell I was to you? You think so highly of yourself- you’re presenting yourself as a thing to be had between girls? Some trophy? A prize?”
“You weren’t so special either.” He lied. As if he didn’t like you, truly like you, more than he liked Tashi, unfortunately. His mistake was trying to balance things while he figured out how to tell you that he wanted you. Tashi loved tennis more than anything, she was mean and she was cold and she was hard to please but you in his bed, you were warm in more ways than one and you always listened and you weren’t all about tennis the way she was. And he liked you- genuinely liked you. But he went about it entirely wrong. He told you that you weren’t special but you were. You always were. He watched your eyebrows furrow at his words and more bitter things came out of his mouth, “And you said you couldn’t give a fuck what I thought of you.” 
“You’re not worth my time. Fuck you, Zweig. Fuck you and your self-obsession. Get a grip, get a life, and get over yourself.” You pressed your finger hard into his chest and let your hand fall to your side, eyes meeting his, the fire in your eyes reflecting in his own. “Fuck you. You’re an asshole.” The stare lingered before you shook your head, just disbelieving in this entire stupid conversation. It felt like talking in circles. Pointless. You’d never see his point and he would never see yours. He just looked at you like nothing you said meant anything and was only to provoke him when it wasn’t. He made it feel pointless. And you were fuming, so fucking angry. He matched that as well, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths. So you just turned and walked right into your hotel room, shutting the door behind you. 
What a fucking waste of time and breath, you thought. He wasn’t worth it. Any of it. You just breathed out, hearing his hotel room door shut next to yours. You pressed your hand to your forehead, letting out a second sigh as you thought about just how stupid he was, deflecting, avoiding. You were glad you were out of the heat of that moment. If you’d been out there any longer yelling at him who knows what you would have done? Or said. The number of times you’d said ‘fuck you’ were uncountable and you hated who he made you. You weren’t this person he made you- you were kind and sweet and gentle and patient but right now all you knew was this person he turned you into. He was just so disgusting and so self-centered and you couldn’t get past what he’d done and he never elaborated on what he meant by ‘I don’t know how to go back and fix how I felt about you’. Fuck, he just made you so fucking angry and it really was exhausting being around him. Dredging these things back up. Him and his fucking ego, really. 
You weren’t exactly sure just what you were going to say to him, the conversation felt final, but there had to be some reason you opened the door to your hotel room again. Took your back off of the door, turned again, buttons on the shirt still very open, and you opened the door by some possession of the mind and it was just coincidence that when you looked up, Patrick stared back at you, standing outside your door like he was about to knock. Your eyes met his and it was easy to see that there was still fire in his eyes the same as there was in your own. It was only a few seconds, maybe ten, maybe fifteen and he stood there and so did you, wordlessly. Silence, empty, just blinking and breathing and silence. Before the mutual crash of him stepping toward you, grabbing your face, and kissing you hard. You had met him in the middle just between your doorframe, and your hands immediately found themselves flat against his back, fingers curling around the fabric of his shirt. No other thoughts.
He kissed you like he meant it, with all of the hateful things that you had said still very much on the tongue that swiped past his own. And it was desperate, the way you kissed- hot, heavy, so passionate, too passionate. Your back was against the stretch of the wall just inside your room as he pressed you to it and him against you. The door shut beside you and it was a good thing. So much feeling, so much hate and so much time, so much weight in his kiss but it was as easy as breathing. 
He held your face between large hands that slowly slid down to your jaw, one of them down your neck, his body pressed so closely to yours that you thought maybe you’d start sinking through the wall against your back. His hand traveled downwards and you let it as his hand went around your neck, not pressing, not squeezing, just placement. It sent chills through your whole body though your bodies only radiated pure heat. Small sounds escaped both of your lips, small hums, as his hand slid down and over the exposed bra from your undone buttons. His hand cupped your chest, not too rough, but definitely without being gentle. None of this was gentle. 
You popped your knee out just a bit as he pressed himself against you so that when he did, he felt it. He groaned just a bit as you then took a step off the wall, pressing him to the wall opposite the small entrance to the hotel room. Still so desperate, still so in need, his hand still on your chest and one of your hands traveling to rest on his jaw while- as he began to take off your shirt- your other hand slid down his chest to break the waistband of his pants, just gently rimming it with your pinkie finger before undoing the button of his pants. His lips didn’t leave yours even as you slid your hand down into them. He was hard, he was so hard and in this desperation even you didn’t have the time to think. You didn’t want the time to think as your shirt was pulled over your head between the sound Patrick made into your mouth. 
All of this hatred just seeped out of your skin at a scalding temperature as you pressed yourself against him, your hand gripping him harder, he didn’t waste another second gaining back his leverage, kissing you as you walked over to your bed. He kicked off his pants and in seconds he was on you, really on you, over you. Climbing over you in your bra and little black skirt. Your hand left his boxers and you began to pull at his t-shirt, all of your actions desperate and wanting and his lips were on your neck, his hand resting at the base of it again, moving your hair aside. Gentle, but starving. His skin against yours, hands trailing all over your body, one of them deciding to drop down between your legs. With only a touch of his finger against the inner of your thigh, you opened them just a little so that very same finger could gently press against you where you needed it. This was too gentle, in a world that wasn’t gentle, so when you kissed Patrick harder he knew to cut the bullshit. You weren’t delicate, he didn’t need to act like it. He pulled your underwear to the side to gently rub circles into your clit and easily slipped his other finger inside of you, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from you. 
You hated how it was almost familiar, his pattern of heavy breathing and his fingers pumping inside of you with that careful curving middle finger hitting that perfect spot inside of you. You hated how it sent a flush over your whole body and made you feel almost euphoric like he was some sort of drug. His fingers curled inside of you, moving up and down as he went half in, half out, his thumb on your clit like it was the easiest thing and it probably was- he had good practice. You were moaning as quietly as you could, breathily against his skin before without warning, he cut that out too, just to pull your underwear down from inside the skirt and you kicked it off somewhere far away. His fingers went to resume his actions, but he wasn’t so lucky to go back to something so easy. 
With a swift rocking motion, you were able flip yourselves over so now you were on top of him. You pulled your hair to the side as you bent down to kiss him now, feeling his hard dick against you, still hidden by his boxers. You kissed him, still fast, still hot, still in need as you slowly rolled your hips against him, causing him to groan out into your mouth just the same way you just had when his fingers were inside of you. And in seconds he was getting rid of his boxers and his dick was standing, waiting. He was so hard, still so in need, he almost pushed you down onto it but you didn’t want to waste any time either, moving down just a bit while his hands began sliding down your bare waist, resting on your hips, his eyes meeting yours for what felt like the first time since you’d crashed against each other at the door. His mouth was just a little open, eyes on you like you were everything, and it felt like a pause but it was only half a second. 
He kissed you again, just as hungry, his lips meeting yours in such a sickeningly sweet way but it was all so fast, his tongue in your mouth in a way you had not forgotten. A kiss only broken by the moan that slipped between both of your lips as you sank down onto him. His fingertips dug into the flesh of your ass, pushing just gently as he filled you entirely. You hated that with all the men you’d been with since, none of them had ever filled you the way he did. And that hate was momentum enough to begin to move up and down, hips rocking with his guiding force. “Fuck…” he said through his heavy breathing as you rode him, moaning in response as the rocking turned to a slight bounce, his hips lifting to meet you halfway. 
It was so all-consuming, the feeling. Like some hot flush in your body every up and down was worthy of the extreme rush of the perfect feeling of him. Fucking yourself on him, his hands tight on your hips, pulling you up and down harder, faster, as your hair fell into your face time and time again. This desperate sex got more desperate as Patrick made a move to regain his control, flipping you onto your back without even pulling out. You grinned breathlessly as his hands moved back to your jaw to kiss you all the same, not letting up on how hard he kissed you while he began to fuck you harder than before. Your legs wrapped around his body and his arm propping him up rested just beside your head and you needed each other more than anything it was violent, the way his body met yours rapidly, perfectly. It was a mixture of breathing hard, whispers of ‘fuck’ and ‘god’ and skin and the moans you tried to suppress along with his own. 
Your eyes rolled back as he fucked you. It felt like nothing had ever compared, like nothing could even come close to this feeling. It felt like you were losing all sense of the world outside the bedroom, being fucked truly dumb and numb to any other part of this, not the morals, not your principles. Nothing else mattered aside from this violent show of passion. His hand now on your waist, yours around his neck and his eyes met yours again. 
Barely open, in this world of lust, he looked back at you through his eyelashes like none of this was happening. You couldn’t see fire in his eyes anymore. His eyes were more showing water, still, calm, despite his actions and despite it all. Things slowed. And he kissed you again, slower, as his thrusts continued with the same power and the same force. Your hands slid into his hair and there was nothing you wanted more in this moment than the kiss… Somehow ignoring the outside world for sex became ignoring the sex for the kiss. You wouldn’t breathe if you didn’t have to. “Mm- I’m so close, fuck,” he mumbled over your lips, mouth opening just a bit as he picked up the pace and your fingers closed in fists of his hair as a new wave of pleasure completely overtook all of your thinking. 
“Uh huh,” You nodded, using your hands to kiss him again, to keep him close to you as his thrusts got sloppy and more spaced but still hard as finished. His moans mixed with your own as he slowed to a stop. “Fuck…” You sighed heavily. It was over, it was over, it was over and you were a mess underneath him. Your makeup all fucked up, your hair ruffled, your body sticky from the sweat of it all. Nearly-naked, almost entirely, under Patrick, of all people. You would have to deal with the high and it’s comedown, its consequences. 
The consequence seemed to be not having anything witty or hateful to say to him as he moved to lay next to you, rubbing his face, obviously thinking this over the same way you were. You propped yourself up on your elbow and looked at him, really looked at him. And all he had for you was that stupid, arrogant grin. But it made you laugh. And for the first time in all of the times he had ever fucked you and left after dating back eight years- he reached over and pulled you into another kiss, silencing your giggle. A real kiss, hands staying put on your jaw, your hand gently pressed again his bare chest. The high was gone but the comedown was cushioned in a way you had never felt before. You couldn’t hate someone who kissed you this way with nobody waiting for him at home. Like pieces falling into place, after eight years, there was the first kiss with no intention of sex. 
You couldn’t hate how right it felt with nothing about it having to feel wrong. It was surprising, how different it felt. The consequence was that you liked it. 
And on the way home, your sister knew something had shifted. You sat closer to him than you ever allowed, he addressed you when he had something to say and it was just all too normal. There was another night at the motel where you’d ended up talking everything out with Patrick, finding out how he really felt about things without the need for argument. He confessed to just about everything before the night of conversation ended with you both a little bit too close. Your eyes met his in the glow of the motel pool you sat next to and before any other words were said, his hand slid around the back of your neck and he kissed you again. You didn’t have sex that night. But you ended up in his arms, your hair being tucked behind your ear, his fingers tracing patterns over your thigh. 
Your sister knew something was up for sure when you returned to the motel room around 4am, but she didn’t question it. The biggest tell was that you were your regular, sweet self again. That and you had stopped calling him Zweig. There wasn’t any need to dwell on the past, you’d both decided. He was forgiven over a few cups of coffee. And your past actions felt less like something haunting... more like a mistake from the end of your teenage years.
It truly was exhausting feeling so much and not letting it serve a true purpose, you both found. You began to recognize that not everything formed in the fires of lust stayed on fire forever. It was better to succumb to the still waters that his eyes reminded you of. You liked this rematch, it was one of the best games you'd ever played.
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peanutpinet · 9 months
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Love is A Beauty - Mafia! Johnny x innocent, traumatic fem reader - 100th Tumblr Post
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A/N: this is the 100th Tumblr Post and I’m dedicating it to another comfort idol, the one that probably heals so many others’ broken inner childhood, Johnny :’)
Was inspired by a Tom Holland mafia fic that I read (was called ‘Call Me King’) and @smileysuh Johnny fic: Lone Digger
Pairings: Mafia/CEO! Johnny Suh x Innocent! Fem Reader
Warnings: cursing, human trafficking, shitty ex-relationship, traumatic events, sexual themes, degrading names, cursing, brutal torture, guns, implied death, fire, burning (not literally), kidnapping, angst :)) I swear there are also some fluff scenes
Summary: Johnny Suh is the CEO of Neo Entertainment Agency which handles multiple celebrities, some of which are actually part of the NCT mafia like the infamous racer, Lee Jeno, the top supermodel/actor, Jung Jaehyun, and even the comedian actor, Hendery.
Despite being in the glamour and gore at the same time, Johnny has enjoyed it all. He enjoys the fame and attention from everyone including girls. Though with the power and attention Taeyong gave Johnny, he never abused his status or power until he met a girl who seemed too pure and innocent to have to work in a shitty place. Little did Johnny know that he would soon find out that love is actually beautiful.
As Taeyong was slowly making a name for himself and his group, NCT, Taeyong knew that he needed several other businesses that would help his members, especially his core members have some sort of cover-up.
While Taeyong is more than grateful that his selected core members never questioned his leadership, Taeyong couldn’t help but want to give his members another career path aside from just being part of the mafia alongside him.
That is how Taeyong, Kun, and Mark decided to build some businesses to allow their core members to explore what they wanted to do. Taeyong mainly focuses on the tech company while also overlooking the entertainment agency, hospital, e-commerce, and several other businesses that took up the majority of Seoul. Mark co-owns the entertainment and publishing agency whereas Kun focuses on the hospital and healthcare.
Additionally, some of the older members like Johnny also co-owns several of the businesses with Taeyong or Mark. One of which is the entertainment agency where they would cast several of their members as actors and public figures like Jaehyun, athletes like Jeno, or even other artists like Ten.
As the years passed, not only did NCT grow as a whole mafia group but their businesses also grew. Almost every other business is associated with those companies under NCT and the majority of fresh graduates wanted nothing more but to be able to intern or even work full-time under one of the businesses that NCT owns.
Even with the amount of businesses that NCT controls, Taeyong doesn’t limit his members to only work for him but allows each of them to explore whatever their likes and dislikes are. What each of them is good at and even allowed them to build their own business just like Johnny built a famous bar and restaurant in Seoul which soon became an exclusive spot where a lot of the upper-class, the richest, and business partners meet one another.
But even with all the fame and fortune that Johnny had gotten from being part of NCT, co-owning some businesses with Taeyong, and even building a business on his own, not once did he misuse his power, fame, and fortune for anything.
Heck, even the employees who work under Johnny consider him to be one of the best bosses they could have asked for. All of his employees aren’t obligated to work overtime if unnecessary and even if they do, he would pay them well. Each employee was given a month’s worth of work leave, health insurance, up to 2 months of work leave, and every other benefit that one could have dreamed of (A/N: honestly me).
But with all that reputation, there was one part of Johnny’s life that he felt wasn’t complete and that’s a relationship. Sure, Johnny has had several flings and one-night stands here and there. Even some women would throw themselves at Johnny which might have attracted him in his early days in NCT but as time passes, Johnny can’t help but be envious of some of his members, his younger members and their long-term relationships; especially when he had a bitter relationship in the past.
Though Johnny isn’t the only member in NCT who wasn’t in a relationship, the thought of how his younger members were doing much better in this aspect left a bitter taste in his mind. Though not everyone knew each other very well despite being in the same team, Taeyong knew all of his members, especially his long-term friend, Johnny, inside and out.
When Taeyong first met Johnny, he was fresh out of college and was working for a well-established modelling agency as a photographer. Johnny was not only doing well career-wise but he was also in a long-term relationship with his then-girlfriend who was one of the models in the same agency he worked in.
But it was shortly before Johnny’s probation ended did he found the bitterness behind all the good things that had happened. He was being framed for sending the wrong photoshoot to a business partner and when he needed his girlfriend the most, he felt betrayal like never before. How his then-girlfriend was the one who framed him and that she was sleeping with a senior editor in the modelling agency.
Ever since, Johnny was broken. He was fired from his job, he was angry at his then-girlfriend but one thing that came out of that probation period was meeting Taeyong and the rest was practically history between the two.
Taeyong was there when Johnny fell, Taeyong was there when Johnny was heartbroken and betrayed, Taeyong was there to help pick Johnny back up into the strong, bubbly, and confident self he once was but just like a broken vase, you can’t completely put it back together like it used to be and that is how Johnny currently is.
While Johnny has slowly grown more mature, loveable, and confident once again. He has yet to open up to any kind of relationship. One of the reasons why he was actually envious of his members who do have healthy relationships. Johnny was too hurt and betrayed to truly see that love was actually something beautiful.
“Apparently I got word that Brams and his men are going to meet up with some people regarding that human trafficking issue that’s been going around” Jaehyun mentioned, grabbing Johnny’s attention
“Well good evening to you too, Jay. You’re done with your shoot today?” Johnny asked, heading over to his mini fridge to grab a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, pouring one and offering the other to Jaehyun
“Yeah. I was done since an hour ago and both Jungwoo and Doyoung told me about their findings. Since Taeyong is out with his girlfriend. You know how he is when he’s with his girlfriend” Jaehyun chuckled, grabbing the drink Johnny just poured
“Yeah, I know. He texted me about having the whole of next week off and handed me a list of the things he wanted Doyoung and me to check out. Just send Hendery, Mark, and Jeno to look at it” Johnny mentioned, brushing off the issue Jaehyun mentioned
“Well, the thing is, they’re meeting in your bar” Jaehyun stated, making Johnny stop drinking the whiskey. “You know Taeyong respects you so much that he refrains from having some of his backup men spy on your bar. But Jungwoo and Haechan found that the human trafficking issue is going to be dealt in your bar. I suggest that we head there to finish it before it escalates more” Jaehyun suggested, Johnny instantly drowning the whiskey
“When is the deal going to happen?” Johnny asked. “This Friday night. Honestly, Taeyong is smart to not have his members be publicly known. We get to have more fun that way” Jaehyun smirked, making the older member chuckle
“Alright. As long as you finish your brand shoot earlier, the drinks this Friday are on me. I’m going to get Yuta, Hendery and Ten to keep a lookout” Johnny mentioned, texting his upper management for the meeting details
“Sure thing, boss. I’ll keep you updated if Haechan or Jungwoo finds anything. Do you need any of the dreamies to go?” Jaehyun asked but Johnny shook his head. “Nah. The kids deserve a break. Especially Jaemin after what happened with his dad” Johnny replied. “And don’t call me boss. I may be as old as Taeyong but I’m not like him”
“Whatever you say, John” Jaehyun waved the older one goodbye
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Friday night rolled around sooner than Johnny wanted but he knew that Jaehyun was right. And that he had to act fast before it escalated any further. The past several months, there had been reports of missing young girls who were in college and there were rumours going around that they were either working at a brothel, illegal strip clubs, or even being sold to human trafficking.
Arriving at his bar, both Johnny and Jaehyun were greeted by Johnny’s upper manager, Ted. Because the supposed illegal businessmen hadn’t arrived yet, Johnny dismissed Ted to grab some drinks for both him and Jaehyun along with some light bites.
Because Jaehyun had only been to Johnny’s bar once in a while, he decided to scan the place and took in all the details of the bar until his eyes landed on a certain waitress who looked a bit too young to be working in the bar.
“Yo, John, doesn’t she look a bit too young to be working at a club?” Jaehyun asked, looking over to a young girl wearing the waitress uniform, serving some drinks to old sweaty men
Johnny who was just trying to drink and enjoy his night eventually followed Jaehyun’s gaze and landed on the girl that Jaehyun was describing.
Sure, Johnny might’ve opened his own bar with Taeyong’s permission but that doesn’t mean that he allows just about anyone to work in his bar. And while he doesn’t deal with all the miscellaneous work in the bar, he surely memorises his staff and the girl Jaehyun pointed out was never in any parts of Johnny’s memory.
Instead of confronting the girl, Johnny immediately called another waiter to get Ted and question about the girl whom he learned was technically legal to work in a bar as she was 21+ and the manager mentioned that she was only a part-timer on the weekends since they needed more help.
Right when Ted was explaining to Johnny, he saw one of the old men put their hands on the girl’s bare thigh which scared the girl. Angered at the behaviour, Johnny stood up and stomped his way to the scene before the man could go any further.
“This is an exclusive bar and I make sure that all of my staff are always on their best service. But that doesn’t mean that you could just harass them like this” Johnny growled, gripping the older man’s arm tightly that the people nearby could hear a bone crack
“Especially when it’s an old man harassing a young girl” Johnny grunted, pushing the man that he fell off his chair; the other men around the table started to get up, about to put up a fight when Jaehyun came beside Johnny, shielding the girl
“I suggest you all sit your old sweaty asses down unless you want your old bones to be broken” Jaehyun taunted. “Or shall we call Taeyong? Because he’s the co-owner of this bar and I don’t think he would be pleased that his supposed business partners were in his bar, harassing a girl”
Of course, upon hearing Taeyong’s name, the men instantly cowered in fear and apologised for their behaviour which Johnny scoffs because he knew that they weren’t sorry for what they did but instead, they were scared of what the Taeyong could do to them.
Turning around, Johnny’s stern gaze immediately washed away when he saw the scared girl looking down to her feet and bowed at him; apologising for getting him and Jaehyun involved. Something that Johnny rarely encounters in bars. Even in his own.
“You don’t have to apologise for getting me and my friend involved. They should be the ones apologising to you. Are you hurt?” Johnny asked but the girl shook her head, still not wanting to look at the much taller man
“Hey, my eyes are up here. I’m not going to hurt you so can you please just look at me so I know that you’re ok?” Johnny asked again, this time in a much softer tone
Slowly, the girl lifted her head, her (Y/E/C) eyes met with Johnny’s now soft dark brown eyes. Johnny slowly took in the girl’s appearance in front of him. How her (Y/H/C) hair was tied up and some of her bangs were somewhat covering her eyes. Her eyes filled with worry and anxiousness that made her bite her own lip. “She’s clearly uncomfortable being here” Johnny thought to himself
Unfortunately, before Johnny could ask anything else to the girl, Ted called him and Jaehyun regarding the meeting about the human trafficking issue. “We’ll be right there, Ted. Thanks” Johnny replied, before looking around and spotting Ten, Hendery and Yuta.
“Sweetheart, I’m going to have to leave but can you help serve my friends over there?” Johnny mentioned, his eyes directed at Ten, Hendery and Yuta who were by the corner of the bar
The girl turned and followed Johnny’s direction before going back to face him and nodding; somehow making Johnny smile. “Good. I assure you that they’re fun to be around with. I’ll tell Ted that you’ll be serving my friends tonight and no one else. I promise you that you won’t get in trouble, alright?”
Another nod
“Alright. I’ll see you around then” Johnny mentioned, nudging Jaehyun to follow him as he walked past the 3 younger men. One of his hands patted Yuta’s shoulder. “See it that those old men are taught a lesson about touching a girl without their consent” Johnny whispered, Yuta immediately nodded, understanding his member’s request
“Ten, Hendery, the girl who was harassed is gonna come and serve you guys. Don’t scare her. And make sure she gets back to her place, safely” Johnny added, the younger men nodded
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Without wasting anymore time, both Johnny and Jaehyun went into the VIP room where true to Jungwoo and Haechan’s findings, Brams was having a deal with an illegal business partner regarding human trafficking.
Angry at their bluntness about women being used to satisfy men, it didn’t take long for both Johnny and Jaehyun to beat both groups to nothing but a pulp. Johnny then had some of his own back-ups to take them back to the NCT base to get more information out of them.
After Johnny and Jaehyun were done, the two went out of the VIP room and met up with Yuta, Hendery, and Ten whereas the other employees were already told to leave early by Ted. “Apparently those old men who were harassing the girl worked for Brams as well. They were selecting some girls to be sold in the human trafficking” Yuta mentioned, making Johnny even more worked up than he already is
“Fucking hell. I promised TY that when I opened my bar, I’d make sure that it wouldn’t ever come to this. How’s the girl?” Johnny asked
“She was very nervous. She was worried that Ted was going to fire her. You didn’t let her know that you were the boss?” Ten asked and Johnny shook his head. “Not exactly. Didn’t think that I would need to”
“Well, you should’ve. The poor girl didn’t even want to leave until she met you but I told her that you were busy and it was past her working time. I also told her that she’d most likely see you more often now” Ten mentioned
“Thanks for making her go home. Wouldn’t want her to see the violence or blood” Johnny spoke, somewhat shocking his members
“Did the Johnny Suh actually care about a girl and not want her to see him being violent or blood on him?!” Ten snickered
“Is that really your main concern right now? There were several groups in my bar, dealing with human trafficking. Hendery, did you get any other information out of anyone in the bar?” Johnny asked and Hendery filled him in on his findings
“I found out from a regular customer that the group Yuta beaten up weren’t the only group that was dealing with Brams’ group about human trafficking. There are other several small groups who are willing to kidnap any other girl to be sold to Brams for human trafficking” Hendery explained
“Yuta, did you get the group or let them off?” Johnny asked. “Of course I brought them back to the base. Just for a little practice session for the new recruits” Yuta replied
“Get whatever information you can out of them along with Ten and Hendery. I need to have a discussion with Doyoung and Jaehyun about this situation” Johnny mentioned
“Oh, by the way hyung, her name is (y/f/n). Just in case you’re wondering or if you want Haechan to dig information about her” Ten mentioned, giggling before he left with Yuta and Hendery
“You’re going to ask Haechan to dig up information about her, aren’t you?” Jaehyun asked, getting into the car with Johnny
“Why on earth would I even do that?” Johnny questioned back, driving off with Jaehyun
“I mean, the way you look at her and defend her says a lot you know” Jaehyun stated, the grip Johnny had on his stirring wheel got tighter
“She’s just some girl, Jaehyun” Johnny tried to avoid the conversation. “A girl that you defended and even spoke softly to. Haven’t seen that in a long time”
“I don’t hate girls if that’s what you’re implying. Plus, she’s different. She seems so out of place. Like, why work there if she doesn’t even try to hide her dislike” Johnny wonders
“See, this is what I mean. I know you don’t hate girls but typically you wouldn't give two shits on other people’s business. Let alone a girl who’s basically as old as the 00 liners. She got you hooked, hyung” Jaehyun chuckled, making Johnny glare at the younger man
“Would you just drop it? She was just a girl who coincidentally was on the scene and a target for human trafficking. The only thing that I’ll be doing is making sure that this shit never happens in my bar. Ever again” Johnny stated, rushing back to the base
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It didn’t take long for Johnny to get the information he needed from Brams and the other little group that was involved in the human trafficking issue. The main reason why they chose Johnny’s bar was that there were many well-known business people who needed some young girls for business reasons or even personal, self-indulgent reasons. Additionally, they knew that every staff in Johnny’s bar would never utter any word regarding any dealings in the bar.
Disgusted at their answers, Johnny allowed Yuta and some other members to take their time in torturing the group into getting answers on who their buyers were. Meanwhile, Johnny’s mind wandered off to the scared girl that he encountered. Until a knock on the door caught him off-guard.
“Yeah, come on in” Johnny stated, trying to look over the files of the Brams’ group to make himself look busy
“Hyung, so, Haechan and Jungwoo managed to gather more list on the small groups who are helping Brams, some missing girls, etc” Jaehyun mentioned, coming into Johnny’s office, holding a tab
“Okay, and? Is there anything that I don’t know of? If not then I don’t see the point of the report, Jae” Johnny brushed off Jaehyun’s findings
“Sure about that?” Jaehyun scoffed, sliding his tab right in front of Johnny, the page showing the girl that Johnny helped
“What about her?” Johnny asked, raising his eyebrow and scrolling the tab until he stopped at a specific information that made him grip the tab a little too hard and even slam it on his desk; even scaring Jaehyun a bit
“What the fuck did you mean that she was hired in my club through those illegal bastards?!” Johnny angrily slammed the tab
“None of us knew, John. We almost never handle anything that goes around your bar. But if what Haechan found is true then something ain't right with your staff. You should probably question each of them” Jaehyun suggested but Johnny thought otherwise
“I want all the information” Johnny stated, his tone firm
“Sure, I’m sending you potential information about your staff so you can…” Jaehyun replied but Johnny stopped him
“Not all of them. Just one. Her. I want to know everything about her” Johnny mentioned, turning the tab around to show Jaehyun the girl that they both helped
“Isn’t that like stalking? Judging from her looks and the snippet of history I read, I doubt she’s involved with anything illegal and is pretty much clean. You can just have a civil conversation with her or…” Jaehyun suggested but Johnny was firm
“No. I don’t want to talk with the other staffs because it’s possible that they might be doing it together. But her. Just like you said. She was brought here because of that fucked up group doing illegal trafficking. I want all information about her then I’ll talk to her in a civil way. To make sure what she says is true because she could also be playing along with whoever is doing this dirty work in my bar” Johnny reasoned
“Alright. But I’m telling you. From what I’ve read and what the others have seen of her, she’s clean, man. Don’t scare her too much when you see her” Jaehyun warned
“I’ll be the judge of that, Jeong” Johnny growled
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“Well, here you go man” Jaehyun mentioned, handing Johnny a tab with a file already opened. “All information about (y/f/n)”
“Took you a long time” Johnny snickered, taking the tab and reading through each piece of information that Jaehyun got
“Taeyong’s back” Jaehyun pointed out, making Johnny's ears perk up and stop scrolling for a moment. “I’ve updated him about the human trafficking but left out that we found more dirt about it in your bar”
“Shit” Johnny cursed suddenly. “What?!” Jaehyun asked
“Her parents were killed when she was 16 because the human trafficking gang needed a victim to be sold?! She’s just 22 now ” Johnny exclaimed. “Did you not read her information?”
“I’m not the stalker kind of guy. I just know the basic information. I didn’t go that deep and now that you’ve said it, that’s very fucked up. I’ve heard kidnapping and drugging, but killing girls who had parents because they needed a victim is another level of fucked up” Jaehyun mentioned
“And apparently someone in my bar hired her through this fucked up system. I…” Johnny growled, grabbing a glass and pouring himself a glass of whiskey; immediately swallowing the liquid in one shot
“Do you know her schedule?” Johnny asked and Jaehyun nodded
“Good. Find any days when she’s not working at the bar and let me know where she is. I’ll go to her myself. And don’t mention any of this to Taeyong. Not until I get to the bottom of it myself first” Johnny mentioned
“Alright. Just don’t scare the poor girl. You might have bad history with women but not all of them are like…” Jaehyun didn’t even get to finish his sentence before Johnny growled at him. “If you dare to say her fucking name…”
“I’m just saying. Oh and don’t act like a creepy boss who magically got her background information. Just take it easy and talk like you genuinely want to know her. I’ll always be around if you need a wingman” Jaehyun joked
“And if somehow you start to feel something, don’t push away. The poor girl already had a hard time surviving” Jaehyun mentioned
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Johnny’s POV
It was the middle of the week and somehow I found myself in a small cafe that was a few blocks away from my bar because Jaehyun told me that (y/n) was also working part-time in the cafe since I found that she was trying to save up for college ever since she was 18.
Walking into the cafe with Jaehyun, I looked around and saw (y/n) cleaning one of the tables in the corner which is the table that Jaehyun and I decided to sit at.
“Excuse me, is it alright if we sit here?” I asked in a softer tone
Turning around, I could tell that (y/n) was shocked to see me and Jaehyun but she managed to hide it well and allowed us to sit down at the table she just cleaned. Before she was about to leave, I managed to catch her attention.
“(y/n), after you’ve brought our order, come and sit with us, alright? I promise you won’t get in trouble” I stated, making (y/n) look a bit scared but she nodded anyways
“Well you’re very frontal” Jaehyun commented at our little interaction
“Well how would you do it, valentine boy?” I scoffed
“Well, I’d lead on the conversation from ordering like what’s the best seller, how long have you been working here. You know, actually make some kind of conversation instead of jumping straight in. She looked nervous. You could’ve smiled at least” Jaehyun pointed out, making me roll my eyes
Not long after, (y/n) came to our table with our order. After placing everything down, I looked back at her to make sure that she wouldn’t leave and turns out she actually obliged and sat beside me.
“A-am I in trouble?” (y/n) finally let out actual words instead of nodding or shaking her head. Her voice was soft but shaky
“No. Of course not” I started. “I’m Johnny. I’m actually the owner of the bar that you’re working in. Sorry I didn’t properly introduce myself last time when I asked you to serve my friends” I added, extending my hand for (y/n) to shake but she was unsure and I put my hand down
“This is Jaehyun. He’s a good friend of mine” I introduced Jaehyun who looked at (y/n) was a softer smile that showed his dimples
“Hey. I’m Jaehyun. You can call me Jay” Jaehyun smiled
“D-do you also work in the…” (y/n) didn’t finish her question but Jaehyun chuckled first. “No. I’m just a good friend of Johnny. He also co-owns an entertainment agency with another friend of ours. I’m an actor and model actually”
“I um, was wondering why did you work in the bar. I saw that you were uncomfortable and while I don’t manage the recruitment process anymore, I would visit every now and then. You know that you’re not forced to work there if you don’t want to” I bluntly told (y/n) who looked down and played with her fingers
“I, I was looking for a simple job” (y/n) started, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Just to keep me alive. I wanted to go to college but I couldn’t”
“I worked at this cafe first but it wasn’t enough. One of my friends said I can try to work in the club. It pays well. I’ve been saving up. Sorry”
“There’s nothing to apologise for, sweetheart” I replied but no one said anything after a while
“I, I should get back to work. I’ll do better at your bar, Mr Johnny” (y/n) excused herself, standing and bowing formally to me and Jaehyun
“Just Johnny, sweetheart. And you’ve done nothing wrong. I just said you looked uncomfortable and not that you were doing a bad job” I pointed out
“T-thank you for stopping by and coming to the cafe” (y/n) thanked us again then left to the back room
“Well, that went well, didn’t it, sweetheart?” Jaehyun commented and I gave him a side-eye
“She shouldn’t be working there Jaehyun” I mentioned, ruffling my hair out of frustration
“At your bar?” Jaehyun asked and I nodded “But you heard her. She needs the money and frankly, I will admit, working as a waitress in a prestigious bar brings some good paycheck. Plus, now that she knows you own the bar, she’s gonna know that if she gets a raise or anything it’s because of you”
“Find out what school she wants to study and let me know” I mentioned, finishing my coffee
“Dude, don’t tell me what I think you’re going to do. Taeyong is gonna be onto you. And we have yet to find out about the human trafficking gang that took her and sold her. Heck, they might still be keeping tabs on her or something” Jaehyun pointed out
“One at a time, Jae. I’ll deal with Taeyong. You find the school for her. You know what to do. As for the human trafficking, I’ve asked Yuta and Winwin to look into it since there’s a good chance it was done overseas” I stated
“Damn, Taeyong really has rubbed on you, hasn’t he? You’re one step ahead already” Jaehyun chuckled, patting my shoulder as we left the cafe
“You have no idea. I have Ten and Yangyang to watch over her shift tomorrow and on the weekends. Also update me on any other weird behaviours at my bar while I sort about her working in the bar” I mentioned, taking one last glance at (y/n) who was serving some new customers before going into my car
“Man, I’d never thought to see the day that you would get whipped for another girl in years” Jaehyun commented which I didn’t confirm nor deny his statement
Maybe I was actually starting to get interested in another girl after so long. Maybe…
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NCT Entertainment - 2:09 pm (Johnny’s POV)
“Wait, hyung. Let me get this straight. You talked to all of these universities and applied her to them on your own without her knowing, asking each university if they could provide a scholarship for her and even paid for like the majority of her tuition when you barely held a conversation with her?!” Jungwoo commented as he and Haechan were in my office at NCT Entertainment
“I didn’t pay her way into the university. I just sent out her information to the universities to get some scholarships for her and paid the rest. There’s a difference” I replied
“Damn. I don’t think I’ve seen you this interested in a girl since the day I met you” Jungwoo mentioned
“It’s not just you. Everyone who knows about this whole shenanigan is just as shocked. I was when Jaehyun-hyung asked me to dig up information about a girl per Johnny-hyung’s request. I was even more shocked to find out that she has nothing to do with his type of lifestyle” Haechan added on
“Has it been that long since you got laid, hyung?” Jungwoo joked
“You comment about my sex life once more and I’ll tell your girlfriend about how desperate you were to find love that you hacked into Tinder for each girl that swiped match with you only to find out that they were either very underage or over” I threatened Jungwoo who instantly cowered in fear
“Y-you wouldn’t dare” Jungwoo stuttered as Haechan laughed. “That was quite a phase. Especially when you, Jaehyun, and Doyoung-hyung accompanied us and Jeno to Milan. Gosh I was so jealous that they went to a fancy dinner” Haechan mentioned
“So have either of you found something regarding my staff and how the hell did they get involved in the bloody human trafficking activities?” I asked
“Hey, be grateful that I created the system to help us check each of your staff instead of doing it manually or worse, having to confront them one at a time and then you would have to replace your entire staff. Which honestly, now that I’ve said it out loud, you probably should. It’s best that way” Jungwoo pointed out when we heard a knock on the door
“Mr Suh, I ummm, there’s…” my secretary, Vivianne stuttered but a loud shout was heard not long after the door was opened
“Johnny Fucking Suh!!” we heard Taeyong’s loud voice from my office and not long he barged in along with Doyoung and Jaehyun
“You can leave Vivianne. And make sure that no one disturbs us at all” I mentioned and Vivianne immediately understood, closing the door
“Why the fuck is it that everytime I went on a small leave or handling something else, a small group of my members would always be up to something. 00 liners, and now 127? Universe, give me strength when it comes to WayV someday” Taeyong sighed, sitting across me as I eyed Jaehyun who just kept a straight face and shook his head
“Tae…I swear that I have everything under control. We’re looking into the possibility of the human trafficking being from overseas and…” I was explaining when Taeyong stopped me
“Cut the crap, Johnny. That’s not the only thing I’m going to be discussing. One. I gave you the freedom to have your own businesses without my involvement but I hoped that you would at least have one of the other members in it because look at what happened now. Your staff is involved in with the human trafficking activities because none of our trusted members was there to help you with the recruitment process. Two. One of your staff is hired through the human trafficking which indirectly means you’re involved in it if the public ever knows about this. Three. That staff of yours, that girl, seems to have caught your attention so much that I found you paying a hefty amount of money for her college. I’m glad that you’re opening up again but shouldn’t you be handling the human trafficking activities and taking it slow with a traumatised girl?” Taeyong stated
“Tae. I swear I had no idea about the human trafficking being in my bar. I was getting to that with the other members” I replied as the other members just stayed quiet
“I know. I just hope that you would open up more on what’s going on in your personal business with the other members even if it’s not with me” Taeyong replied back
“Honestly, after this event, I intend to do so. Sorry” I apologised but Taeyong shook his head
“There’s no need to apologise. I give my members free permission to do as they please as long as it’s not illegal. But I also want them to involve one another even if it’s not me because if you don’t trust your core members. Then who would you trust? When I started with this group, it took time for me to trust you guys if I’m going to be honest. But slowly, the more I get to know you all, the more I feel that I could trust you and I want that trust to keep going between you all even if I’m not part of it” Taeyong stated “And that goes for everyone in this room as well as our other core members”
“So, you all going to update me about what we have so far or what?” Taeyong stated, making me chuckle
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Of course, in the end, Johnny told Taeyong about the current situation. How Brams and some other groups have been having illegal meetings about human trafficking in his bar. How (y/n), one of Johnny’s staff was one of the victims and was hired by a mole amongst the other staff who was part of the human trafficking group.
Though Jungwoo has helped by making a whole system to help ease us in finding the mole amongst the staff, Jungwoo mentioned that whoever was dealing with this illegal business clearly had done it for a long time because every single one of the staff was clean which raised the question on how (y/n) was hired through human trafficking. And the only possible way to know is for Johnny to actually talk to her and be honest.
(y/n) on the other hand, was shocked that one of the colleges that she applied for actually replied back and offered her a full scholarship for her undergraduate. Though (y/n) was confused, she didn’t reject this big opportunity and immediately accepted it.
Knowing that she was fully funded for her undergraduate. (y/n) decided to tell Ted that she would stop working part-time at the bar and she’d just be working at the cafe.
Coming back to her small apartment after resigning from the club, (y/n) had just opened the door to her apartment but she could sense that there was another presence in the place and stopped in the middle of opening her door until she was met with a taller familiar figure. Johnny.
“Sorry I came uninvited and even got into your place without your consent. But we need to talk” Johnny spoke, his voice came out calmer which eased (y/n) enough to close the door
“Okay…” (y/n) breathed out
The two sat in front of each other, Johnny was trying to find his words as he examined the girl in front of him who looked skinnier than he last saw her whereas (y/n) was fiddling with her thumbs; a habit whenever she was nervous.
“Can you tell me how you actually found my bar and who hired you?” Johnny asked
“I, I’ve told you. A friend suggested your bar and the one that hired me is the manager, Ted” (y/n) let out
“Ted?!” Johnny let out a sarcastic chuckle, confusing and scaring (y/n). “Out of all my staff, it had to be Ted”
Johnny took his phone and was dialling Jaehyun when (y/n) spoke again. “H-he saved me”. Johnny ended his call with Jaehyun before the younger member even answered
“What do you mean he saved you? Who did he save you from?” Johnny asked, this time his tone was rougher
“H-he saved me from the bad people. The people that killed my parents. The people who forcefully took me and…” (y/n) started sniffling making Johnny sigh and got up to hug her
Pulling (y/n)’s body to his chest, Johnny patted (y/n)’s back, letting her cry on his chest. The feeling of having someone other than his members close to him was foreign but it brought some comfort and warmth knowing that Johnny was capable of opening up once again.
“Hey, I’m not going to hurt you. I promise. I just needed to know” Johnny softly uttered, stroking (y/n)’s head
“I’m, I’m sorry. I got your shirt wet” (y/n) sniffled, pulling away but Johnny shrugged
“It’s nothing. Feeling better?” Johnny asked and (y/n) nodded
“A bit. Ever since my parents were killed, I, I had no one. I didn’t know where to go but I know that I should keep going somehow” (y/n) sniffled and it broke Johnny hearing how could the world be cruel to someone so young and innocent
“Hey. It’s okay. You’re okay now. You’re such a strong girl. You didn’t give up even though you could’ve and that’s something to be proud of. Not everyone can do that. Especially under your circumstances” Johnny mentioned, cupping (y/n)’s cheeks. “I’ll take care of them, okay?”
Johnny handed (y/n) his phone for her to key in her phone number which she did. Johnny wanted to make sure that those people would pay for what they did before he fully opened up his heart again.
After making sure that (y/n) was better and even ordering dinner for her, Johnny excused himself because Yuta found that it was an overseas joint business and he was on the hunt for the people. But before Johnny left, (y/n) asked him about something that was lingering in her mind.
“W-was it you? The one who helped me get my scholarship?” (y/n) asked
“Your life was ripped away from you and you didn’t deserve that. You deserve to enjoy your life and figure out what you want to do. I know I’m not involved with those men nor did I have the chance to find you back then but I’m sorry that your life was suddenly ripped away from you. I’m sorry that I can’t bring your parents back. But at least let me help you because I know how it must be when something good is suddenly ripped away from you. Granted I didn’t experience it to your extreme but I know and I was lucky enough to be given a second chance. So should you” Johnny explained but what he didn’t expect was (y/n)’s response to his explanation
“A-are you not just trying to…”(y/n) mumbled. “Trying to what?” Johnny asked
“Trying to sleep with me or…” (y/n) let out but Johnny just chuckled at her question
“Sweetheart. I may own a bar but that doesn’t mean that I sleep around. Maybe I did when I was in my early 20s because I was cocky at the time but I’ve grown out of it and I don’t just sleep with anyone anymore. I actually haven’t slept with anyone in years because just like you, I too have my own trauma” Johnny admitted
“S-sorry” (y/n) apologised but Johnny shook his head. “Nothing you should apologise for, sweetheart. You take care of yourself alright? I’ll see you soon. You just leave those nasty people to me and focus on your studies” Johnny mentioned
“I, I will. T-take care too, Johnny” (y/n) stuttered but smiled as she bid Johnny goodbye which made the taller, older man smile as he left (y/n)’s apartment
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The next few days were filled with Johnny and the members looking for the overseas group that dealt with human trafficking activities. Occasionally, Johnny would drop by his bar along with Jaehyun to check up on things and make sure that there weren’t anymore groups that were doing any illegal activities in his bar.
Additionally, Johnny has slowly involved some of his members like Ten, Yuta, Hendery, and even Jaehyun in his bar. Yuta and Ten being the members who visit and look after Johnny’s bar the most compared to the other members.
Aside from keeping tabs on his bar, Johnny also had Haechan keep tabs on (y/n) to make sure that she was always safe, no one was following her or anything out of the ordinary. Sometimes, Johnny would even send a few gifts every now and then to (y/n)’s apartment.
Flowers, some groceries, her favourite snack and coffee, even a fair few things that she had always wanted but could never had. But even so, Johnny had never dared to make any further move since he visited (y/n)’s apartment for the first time. Well, until Jaehyun smacked his older member being the valentine boy he is.
“Dude, I get it that you’re not ready to go into a relationship because of your nutjob ex but like this is getting too excessive. Especially coming from one of the most extrovert members in the group” Jaehyun complained, storming into Johnny’s office after his shoot
“Either your shoot didn’t go too well or is there something else that’s bothering you?” Johnny brushed off Jaehyun’s ramble
“Did you just neglect what I said? I’m saying that you’re being a coward right now and leading (y/n) on but you’re uncertain yourself. It’s not fair for her end, you know” Jaehyun complained, making Johnny sigh
“What are you afraid of? That (y/n) will turn out to be like your ex?” Jaehyun asked but there was no answer from Johnny. “Or are you afraid that you’ll be the one hurting her because of your past?”
“True but not quite” Johnny let out. “I don’t even know if she’s into me. I mean, I was her boss and then I found out that she was a victim from the human trafficking group and I don’t want her to think that I’m just taking pity on her and feel responsible because those groups were doing illegal business in my bar”
“And this is what happens when you haven’t actually dated anyone in years” Jaehyun sigh, sitting in front of Johnny
“What are you now, a love therapist because you’re valentine boy?” Johnny joked
“No. Well, maybe. Only for you though. Seriously tho, why are the younger members having better luck compared to us?” Jaehyun questioned
“Because they’re young? We’re already in our late 20s and honestly, we don’t make stupid decisions anymore. Also because they were taught by Taeyong since they first join so they wouldn’t do stupid things we did when we were their age” Johnny argued
“Well, if you want my advice. Go on a date with her. Get to know her like Jaemin is with the girl he saved from his dad. As messed up as your situation is, his is a next level, I’m not gonna lie” Jaehyun mentioned, recalling the time when he had to help his younger member operate on a girl because of his father
“That was crazy, I’m not gonna lie. I heard that his girlfriend is studying law. Must be a smart couple” Johnny chuckled, drinking some beer
“But for reals. If you don’t want her to think that you’re taking pity on her, just talk to her. Communicate? Hello? You’re like the most social person ever but when a girl finally interest you, suddenly, you turn dumb” Jaehyun nagged
“I, I can’t” Johnny sighed. “You can’t or you’ve forgotten how to? Like it’s not that hard. You already know her apartment anyways” Jaehyun mentioned
“It’s not just that, Jae. You can’t just suddenly ask someone out without making sure that they also have an interest. Plus, we’re still in the middle of looking for the overseas gang” Johnny pointed out, making the younger member rolled his eyes
“Taeyong said that it was gonna take a while. And the only way to know if (y/n) does have an interest towards you is if you go to her and ask. Take the chance while you still can. Maybe you’ll find a thing or two on the gang that took her. I’m not saying you take advantage of her or the situation but it’s a possibility you should keep in mind” Jaehyun suggested
“When did you get smart?” Johnny joked
“When your ex ruined your love life and made you numb” Jaehyun laughed back as the two continued to discuss their mundane tasks
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It’s been 2 weeks since (y/n) last encountered Johnny. She didn’t expect to see him after the incident in the bar let alone found out that he was the owner but Johnny somehow managed to get her to talk about her not so normal past and even made her feel comfortable compared to any other people who took pity in her. But Johnny managed to see right through her fake smile and “normal” face.
But it’s been a while since (y/n) actually saw Johnny who popped by her apartment which she needs to address the next time she meet him because even though he was her boss (well, ex-boss), how on earth did he manage to get into her house in the first place.
Sighing, (y/n) just kept a mental note as she opened the door to her small apartment, bringing her groceries which she bought on her way home from campus. Right as (y/n) closed the door and turned around, she held her groceries tightly that she felt a rip on the paper bag as she saw none other than Johnny Suh sitting in the living room, reading a book.
“Goodness, how on earth did you get in here?!” (y/n) exclaimed, trying her hardest to balance her groceries but Johnny immediately rushed to help her
“Honestly? The landlady gave me a spare key when I told her that I was your boyfriend which is a red flag about this place. You sure you don’t want to just move to your campus’ dorm instead?” Johnny asked, helping (y/n) put her groceries away
“It’s quite expensive and while I still work part-time, I don’t think it would be enough. I’ve been living here for the past 2 years and it has been alright so far” (y/n) mentioned as Johnny just hummed
“Y-you kept the flowers and little gifts I gave you” Johnny pointed out, scanning (y/n)’s small apartment
“The flowers were pretty and as much as I don’t want to accept such expensive gifts, I don’t have the heart to pass it to anyone since I don’t really know anyone anyways” (y/n) replied. “Um, not to be rude but why are you here again? D-do you need someone to assist with the weekend crowd?”
“No, gosh no. I’m not letting you back in my bar or club” Johnny blurted, making (y/n) frown. “Well, at least not without me or my members. Anyways, I was thinking. You’re probably confused and nervous but honestly, I was just going to ask you out”
“A-ask me out? L-like a date?!” (y/n) exclaimed, feeling the heat rushing to her cheeks
“Yeah. I actually have some free time this weekend. I know surprisingly” Johnny mentioned
“I, I never been on a date. I mean, you probably know my past and…” (y/n) ranted
“I know. Well, I just know the surface level. I was hoping that taking you out would help ease your mind from what happened in your past” Johnny added but (y/n) stayed quiet for a moment. “I promise you that I’m not doing this to take advantage of you to find out about who made you into a victim or in any other way. I just want to get to know you because trust me, I too haven’t been on a date in years”
“That’s hard to believe, honestly” (y/n) admitted, making Johnny chuckle. “It is, isn’t it? We don’t even have to talk about your past or any business or human trafficking issue. Just think of it as if we’re college friends doing a group project” Johnny tried to convince (y/n)
“O-okay…As long as you don’t show up in my place so suddenly like this. I might have a heart attack” (y/n) tried to joke, making Johnny smiled even more
“I would make sure you won’t. Promise. Plus, you didn’t reply to any of my texts” Johnny said in defense
“I, I didn’t know it was you. I thought it was…nevermind…” (y/n) mumbled. “So um, when do you plan to take me out?”
“This Saturday. Let me take you out the whole day and show you how to enjoy your life” Johnny uttered, instinctively holding (y/n)’s small hand in his
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Saturday - 09:02 am
True to Johnny’s promise, he would text (y/n) before actually going up to her place which she allowed him to. Johnny wore a simple attire compared to his business suits. Johnny wore a simple white T-shirt with black pants and a denim jacket paired with some casual shoes.
Johnny had just arrived with his black BMW since he felt his other cars might be too flashy and texted (y/n) that he was in front of apartment which she replied that she was on her way downstairs. But when it took more than 10 minutes, Johnny was starting to grow worry that he went out and into (y/n)’s apartment building and saw several men in black waiting for the elevator.
Though Johnny knew that (y/n)’s apartment was filled with all sorts of people, he can’t help but be wary of these men; remembering from his past experiences, Johnny decided to take the stairs up to (y/n)’s apartment.
Somehow, it was exactly how Johnny predicted. Those men were going on (y/n)’s floor but when they spot the taller Chicago man, they quickly turned, avoiding Johnny’s gaze. Unfortunately, before Johnny could get a better look at any of the men, the door to (y/n)’s apartment room was opened, revealing the younger, shorter girl.
(y/n) also wore a relaxed outfit with a basic white graphic T-shirt with some baggy jeans and a quite beaten up sneakers but to Johnny, she looked just as soft and etherial as she is adorable.
“H-hey. Sorry it took me a while. I was in the bathroom and I forgot where I put my phone literally after I texted you back so I spent the past like 5 minutes or so looking for it only to see it being dead so I charged it and looked for my portable charge and I…” (y/n) rambled, looking at a smiling Johnny. “I’m sorry, I was rambling”
“No. It’s actually pretty cute. And it’s alright. I was just a bit worried so I went up to see you for myself” Johnny mentioned, moving out of the way. “So, shall we?” Johnny asked, extending his hand for (y/n) to take
The two then head to Johnny’s car which Johnny, being the gentleman he is opened the door for (y/n) before going to the driver’s seat. “So, where are you taking me? Sorry for um, underdressing” (y/n) asked
“Nonsense, you look nice. I mean, I’m being casual myself. We’re just going to a casual restaurant, don’t worry. It’s a friend’s restaurant. He has some of the best Korean food in town” Johnny mentioned
The drive was quieter than Johnny would’ve liked but he knows that (y/n) was still shy and wary of the whole situation and he wants her to be as comfortable as she can so Johnny knows that he has to take it at her own pace.
Lucky enough, Johnny was able to get some conversation out of (y/n) like how was her uni life, how were her lessons, did she make any friends and so on. Whereas on (y/n)’s side, she also started to get to know Johnny like how he took film back when he was in university and he had a love for photography that he used to work at a local studio.
“What?” Johnny asked, seeing (y/n) chuckle
“I just, sorry. I sort of can’t really imagine you working a normal office like job” (y/n) admitted
“Well, it wasn’t really an office job since I get to go around, meet people and do what I love. But that’s in the past now” Johnny replied
“Do you miss it? The mundane routine when you were working in the studio?” (y/n) asked curiously
“Sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I get to do now and I love that I’m able to really own what I do but sometimes I do miss the simple mundane routine. It makes me feel grounded at times. Probably another reason why you attract me so much” Johnny flirted, making (y/n) rolled her eyes.
“Are you sure you haven’t dated in so long because I swear you flirt all the time” (y/n) groaned, making the older man chuckle. “Good to know that I still can. Anyways, we’re here” Johnny exclaimed, parking his car right outside of the restaurant, ‘Under the Moonlight’ that belongs to one of his member also dear hyung, Moon Taeil.
“Johnny, you said this was going to be casual but we’re at one of the most prestigious, 3 Michelin star restaurant in Seoul” (y/n) exclaimed, her face was filled with worry and panic while Johnny just got out of his seat and opened the door for (y/n) again
“It is casual. I mean, I know the owner. He’s a friend of mine” Johnny mentioned, helping (y/n) out of his car as he handed his car keys to the valet
“You’re telling me that your friend is master Moon?! The famous chef?!” (y/n) exclaimed as Johnny held her hand, walking past all the other customers who were waiting in line
“Yeap. Table for 2 under the name Johnny Suh” Johnny mentioned to the staff who upon seeing Johnny already knew who he was
Without wasting any time, the staff immediately told the other staff inside the restaurant that Johnny and his date had arrived. Immediately, one of the waiters went to direct Johnny and (y/n) into the restaurant as all the other customers eyes her with jealousy.
Inside the restaurant was no different as the outside. All the customers were eyeing (y/n), making her feel even smaller than she already felt when she and Johnny arrived at the restaurant. Noticing her slightly shaking self, Johnny released his hold on (y/n)’s hand and instead wrapped his arm around her smaller shoulder, pulling her closer to his bigger form whilst eyeing at all the other customers until his hyung and member came up to him, himself.
“Johnny! You came! And you finally brought a date” Taeil exclaimed, going to hug Johnny who released his hold on (y/n) for a moment to hug his older member
“Of course, hyung. Thank you for coming down to your own restaurant today for me” Johnny mentioned as all the customers look at the interaction in shock
“No, thank you for coming. It’s been a while since you guys came. I know work must be busy huh? But who’s this cute girl you brought today? The last one that came with their girlfriends were Jeno and Jaemin. They had a cute double date together” Taeil exclaimed, looking over at a shy (y/n)
“This is (y/n). She just went into college but she’s turning 23 soon” Johnny mentioned, softly grabbing (y/n)’s hands to extend for Taeil to shake
“A pleasure to meet you. I’m Taeil. The owner and head chef. I’m so happy to have you here. Johnny typically comes with his colleagues for business meetings so it’s nice to see a change. He even looks brighter these days” Taeil mentioned, making (y/n) blush
“T-thank you for having me. Sorry I dressed very casually. Johnny didn’t tell me that we were coming here. If I had known, I would’ve worn something better” (y/n) replied smiling
“Nonsense. You’re welcome to wear anything you want. Comfort over fashion. Unless you’re Johnny, Jaehyun, and Doyoung who typically dresses well even just for a walk in the park. But please, this way to your table” Taeil mentioned, directing both Johnny and (y/n) to an exclusive table in the restaurant
“Go ahead. Order anything you’d like. It’s on the house” Taeil exclaimed
“W-what?! T-taeil, you can’t” (y/n) stuttered
“I insist. Also, Johnny, do you want some wine?” Taeil asked as Johnny shook his head. “Not today, hyung. And maybe we’ll have something light. I’ll just take your signature steak and salad with sparkling water. How bout you (y/n)?” Johnny asked
“I’ll just have the kimchi pasta. I’ve always wanted to try it” (y/n) mentioned
“Coming right away” Taeil smiled at (y/n) before leaning to Johnny. “My staff told me that there were 2 cars that followed you here. I’ve told Doyoung who had Jungwoo keep an eye out. Jaehyun and Yuta are also around just in case” Taeil whispered to Johnny’s ear
“Thanks for the info hyung. I’d be happy to check out the new interior design you were thinking of” Johnny exclaimed as Taeil slightly bow to (y/n) before leaving
“So…” (y/n) started, catching Johnny’s attention. “So?” Johnny mimics
“Not only do you own a bar and an entertainment agency where the top celebrities like Jung Jaehyun works at but you also know the famous master Moon who owns three 3-michelin star restaurants?! Who exactly are you?” (y/n) questioned, making Johnny chuckle
“Just someone who just happens to know people. I’ve met Taeil when he was just starting out as a private chef for someone who happens to also helped me get to where I am today. Also, did you know that Taeil has a very heavenly voice? I even managed to convince him to sing an OST for a Kdrama we were filming and everyone loved his voice” Johnny mentioned, making (y/n) smile
“And you said I’m the mysterious one” (y/n) joked, making Johnny smile as well
“We all have our fair share of secrets but enough of that, what were you saying about some guy knowing your name?” Johnny questioned, his gaze became serious
“Oh right. So, I actually had my first group, well paired assignment and I was paired with this really fun and smart girl. We were doing our assignment in a cafe nearby our campus when her boyfriend came and he called my name” (y/n) recalled her memories
“Was this the guy that came and called to you?” Johnny asked in a more relax manner as he showed (y/n) a picture of Haechan, making the girl nod. “Yea, that’s him. Wait, you know him too?!”
“Like I’ve said. I know people and that’s Donghyuck. Well, he goes with his game name, Haechan more” Johnny mentioned, making the girl in front of him speechless
“The Lee Haechan? That master gamer and streamer?! That’s what he looks like?!” (y/n) asked in shock
“So you do know a lot of people yourself” Johnny joked. “No, all the people you know are famous people. Often get talked about at your bar. Even you. People would talk about how you could practically model but chose to build an entertainment agency and bar instead”
“I have modeled a few times. Also, don’t tell Haechan that I practically told you about him. Especially when Jeno is around. Jeno is probably going to tease him about it” Johnny mentioned
“Don’t tell me that this Jeno is…” (y/n) mumbled but Johnny finished her sentence. “Lee Jeno. The number one racer in Seoul who just won his like 4th? 5th grand prix? Boy was a prodigy since he was like 18”
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The date went by smoothly much to Johnny’s expectations. Taeil would also often come drop by to have a chat with (y/n) who seemed more open than the morning he picked her up. But sadly, Johnny couldn’t completely enjoy his date as he kept replying the words Taeil told him.
Whenever Taeil would occupy (y/n)’s attention, Johnny would text his members on any updates regarding the people who followed his car. But Jungwoo was taking a longer time to identify the cars and who were in there.
Sighing, Johnny knew that it probably had something to do with (y/n) and he was starting to grow worry when he has to leave her alone later. Johnny was so lost in his thoughts until (y/n) snap him back to reality.
“Johnny. Are you okay? Did something happen?” (y/n) asked but Johnny was quick to regain his composure
“I’m alright flower. Just some work. Jaehyun was texting me about a rude partner during his shoot” Johnny lied
“You sure? I was going to go to the bathroom for a moment. You should splash some water on your face. Just to keep you awake, you know. You look a bit tired. We can head back after I’m done” (y/n) suggested
“Sure. If it’s alright with you, we can spend the rest of the evening at your place of even mine for a movie night and take out?” Johnny suggested back, earning a smile and nod. “I’d like that. I’ll be back”
After (y/n) left, Taeil went closer to Johnny. “Honestly, I support you”
“Well, that was random” Johnny scoffed making his older member laugh
“I’m serious. I like her. I mean, she’s such a soft soul. You can tell that she’s been through a lot and despite you spoiling her, she’s still humble and down to earth. It’s cute that she said she’ll repay you back for the amount of money you spent on her college but I know for a fact that you wouldn’t let her do that, right?” Taeil pestered
“She was a victim, hyung. A victim of human trafficking. She looks so broken” Johnny let out, making the older member sigh
“Just like you were when Taeyong and I visited you the day after we heard you were fired. Are you doing this because she reminds you of yourself or out of pity? Or have you actually taken interest in her?” Taeil asked
“I don’t know, hyung. I don’t want it just out of pity because she’s not like other girls. There are other girls in similar situations like she is but none with her personality. Most girls and staff in my bar would try their best to flirt and throw themselves at me. But not her. She’s, just like you said, down to earth. Even though she has a hard time, she doesn’t want people to take pity of her” Johnny replied
“Do you want to sleep with her?” Taeil genuinely asked
“Not exactly. I’m attracted to her but I also wouldn’t want to sleep with her just out of attraction. This is weird, hyung. I’ve always been scared going into a new relationship” Johnny explained
“It’s called you’re actually falling in love, John. You don’t know why you’re feeling it but one thing that you know is that you want to be with her. You want to always have her in your arms. To make her feel safe and comfortable just as you feel comfortable with her. You want to cherish her and every moment you have together. That’s why you’re going as far as to get to know her. To make her feel welcomed instead of your usual stoic and torture self. Love isn’t a crime nor is it scary. Sure it could be traumatic for some but true love is a beauty, John” Taeil lectured the younger member who seemed distraught by his long-forgotten feeling
Right before Johnny could reply to Taeil’s words, there was a commotion outside of the VIP room. “Sorry that things might get ugly, Hyung. I promise I’ll pay for the majority of the damages” Johnny shrugged, cocking his gun as he went out, followed by a tired Taeil. “It’s part of the job, John. Don’t worry about it”
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Going out of the VIP room, Johnny was on guard at all times but he was instantly confused as to why everyone seemed calm until he saw Jaehyun bringing a terrified (y/n) next to him. In an instant, Johnny went to hug (y/n) who was shaking like crazy.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What happened Jaehyun?! What was the commotion?” Johnny demanded, pulling (y/n) closer to his chest, covering her sight as she sobbed on his chest
“(y/n) started to have panic attacks. I saw her going to the bathroom and not long after, I saw several men wearing black suits going to the bathroom as well. I quickly followed them and forced them out since they were hogging in front of the woman’s restroom. It took Yuta to escort them out and when they left, I heard sobbing in the bathroom and I found (y/n) crouching by the door, shaking and crying” Jaehyun explained, making Johnny’s grip around (y/n) even tighter
“Find Yuta and make sure that he gets those people. I want them” Johnny growled as Jaehyun just nodded and called Yuta
“Flower, it’s okay. Those people are gone. I’m going to take you back, alright?” Johnny spoke softly towards (y/n) who was still sobbing but nodded
Johnny bid Taeil goodbye and that he would meet his older member back at the base since he was bringing (y/n) to the NCT penthouse.
Slowly, Johnny brought (y/n) back to his car whilst telling his fellow members to take care of the people who were practically stalking (y/n). In his car, Johnny turned on a button that made all the glass around the car appear dark from the outside and rushed back to the base.
Along the way, Johnny made sure that (y/n) was completely asleep before calling Taeyong. “Tae, I know that this might be so sudden but…”
“Taeil filled me in. Just directly come to the penthouse. Yuta and his team found the stalkers. They’re on their way here but don’t question them. Let me deal with them. You stay with (y/n) and try to get answers from her. She needs you more” Taeyong mentioned
After turning off the call, Johnny looked over to (y/n) who was sleeping but her body was still a bit shaken up despite wrapped in Johnny’s jacket. Softly, Johnny stroked (y/n)’s head and upon seeing (y/n)’s shaken body, Johnny could feel his anger rising again. “Who did this to you?” Johnny thought to himself
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NCT Penthouse - 8:29 pm (Johnny’s POV)
Arriving at our penthouse, I parked my car and tried to carry (y/n) who was asleep because I didn’t want to wake her but in the elevator, she suddenly woke up and nearly jumped out of my grip if I didn’t hold her tighter than I normally do.
“Hey, hey. It’s alright. It’s just me” I uttered, my fingertips lightly massaging (y/n)’s shoulder, helping her calm down
“W-where are we? This isn’t my…” (y/n) stuttered, her voice sounded a bit rough; most probably from the crying and sleeping
“We’re at my place. Well, mine and my members’ place. It’s our penthouse. No one has access to this place except for us and some of the members’ girlfriends. I assure you that everyone is nice though we all live in different rooms. Some even on different floors” I explained, slowly letting (y/n) down but still holding onto her, worried that she might fall
Just like the first time we were alone together, the ride to my floor was quieter than I wanted; especially after what happened at Taeil’s restaurant. Luckily enough, this time (y/n) didn’t seem to mind me holding her hand which helped calm my frustration a bit more.
Lots of thoughts were trying to consume my mind one at a time. Who the hell made (y/n) into a victim? Why would they keep tabs on her when they’ve basically sold her? Do these people have connections to me? Is that why they’re keeping tabs on (y/n)?
All those thoughts were racing to catch my attention until the elevator door was opened. I slowly directed (y/n) to my penthouse and once we were in, she practically stared in awe at my place. Though I like nice and fancy things, I tend to keep my space as minimal as possible. But one thing for sure, I definitely had one of the best views in the penthouse.
“Feel free to explore, flower. Though there are only like 3 rooms. Mine, a guest room and an office room. I’ll get you something to drink. You can take the guest bedroom or mine. Whichever one you’re more comfortable with. Or you can go and watch some netflix or other shows you’d like” I mentioned, heading to the kitchen
As I was grabbing some water and other snacks, I noticed that (y/n) was just staring out of the view from the glass walls. “Hey, are you alright? Are you scared of heights?” I asked, settling down the snacks but handed (y/n) a glass of water
“A bit. I’m scared of a lot of things but this view is pretty. Oh and thank you” (y/n) replied, drinking the water I gave her
“No one can actually see in the building. Our leader made sure that all the glass walls weren’t seen through from the outside but we could see everything from the inside. If we want even more privacy, we installed curtains as well” I mentioned
“Y-your leader? Is everything like, recorded or?” (y/n) asked and I knew where this conversation was going
“Yes. Our leader. I’m actually part of a group. We’re not dangerous per se. Perhaps not everything we do is according to the law. But we are far from doing anything illegal. Our leader isn’t someone mean or controlling. Well, at least not to us. Me, Jaehyun, Yuta, Ten, Hendery, and several other people are the core members. So we’re the people that our leader trusts the most. When we all moved to this apartment building together, we were given complete freedom to do what we wanted. Along with that, we’re also given privacy. We’re free to install our own security cameras or not. Heck, even if we don’t, our leader would somehow know everything. But there’s nothing to be scared of honestly. He’s a great leader and person. I mean, he’s the one who found and helped us during one of our lowest points. I was one of the first members to be in the group” I explained
“Is finding people doing human trafficking part of the job?” (y/n) suddenly asked
“Sort of. We’re not involved in a way we buy the victims. We’re looking into every dirty and illegal business in South Korea. The government is limited but not us” I stated, looking at (y/n) who wrapped her arms around herself. “You’re not scared of me, are you?”
Turning around, (y/n) finally faced me and I saw her eyes start to be filled with water as she shook her head. Seeing her breaking down again was something I wanted to change. I walked closer and cupped her face. “Sssh, it’s alright. Whoever is looking for you won’t find you. No one outside of people we trust or love comes near here” I shushed (y/n), pulling her into my embrace as we stayed in this position for a while
“I want to help you, flower. Not out of pity. But because I feel at ease with you. I’m. I’m attracted to you. You’re not like any other girl I’ve encountered. You’re like a breath of fresh air from the city. A flower that blooms in winter. You’re special yet you weren’t given the chance to and I want to be the person to change that. But I can’t do that if you don’t tell me everything” I uttered, softly stroking (y/n) hair as she continued to sob in my chest until I heard a name
A name that was hammered into my brain for years. A name that I swore to all my members to never mention in my presence. Ever. A name that broke me years ago and made me believe that love was secretly bitter and toxic. My ex.
“Rox—roxanne…” (y/n) mumbled but the name was clear to me
“She and Axton…” (y/n) uttered another name that I forbid everyone from saying but I stopped her before she continued
“You knew I was the owner of the bar you worked at. You knew that I had nothing to do with those human trafficking but was connected with the people that made you a victim yet you didn’t come to me for help. Why?” I asked and pulled away to wipe the tears from (y/n)’s face but she suddenly looked away
“Hey. Don’t look away from me. I’m not angry. I’m not upset. Okay, maybe I am but not at you” I murmured, slightly forcing (y/n) to look at me. “Please. Tell me why didn’t you ask for my help in the first place when you knew”
“I. I was scared” (y/n) started. “I didn’t know how you would react but I also don’t want to take advantage of you. I’ll just be a burden. And I was scared that…” (y/n) rambled
“That?”
“That afterwards you would just” (y/n) hiccuped. “Just leave me all on my own” she finally let it out. She finally let out one of the things that everyone was so scared of
“Even at the beginning, I tried to not give in. I tried to not talk so much because I was scared that I would eventually fall for you. After you helped me that night, I really tried so hard. But then you keep showing up and I…” (y/n) rambled on. “We’re here now and I still am scared”
“Flower…” I whispered, my grip was loose that (y/n) managed to back away from me
“I, I don’t know what past you had with them but. I just want to not be involved. I just want to live a normal life. Sort of like you. I don’t want to be broken and sad. I don’t want to live in this constant fear that I could be hurt any day or even any second now” (y/n) cried
“Hey. Hey” I called out to her, trying to calm her down but she took a few more steps backwards making me sigh as I stood away from her
“Who said that I would hurt you? Who said that you’re taking advantage of me?” I questioned
“There were notes and messages. And they weren’t wrong. I’m taking advantage of you right now” (y/n) cried harder, making me ball up my fist knowing that those two people were responsible for another person’s trauma other than my own
“You’re not. I choose to get involved. I choose to reach out to you. I choose to get to know you. Albeit not the best method. And I choose you, flower” I uttered, somehow able to close the distance between us and cupped (y/n)’s cheek, forcing her to look at me
“You’ll get bored of me, Johnny. You’ll get bored and leave and I’ll be broken once again” (y/n) closed her eyes but her hands held mine
“You can worry about a lot of things but one thing you shouldn’t be worried about is me leaving you” I stated but (y/n) managed to make my hand let go of her face as she shook her head, her smaller hands leaving mine
“Th-thank you, Johnny. Really. For helping me and wanting to get to know me. I’m sorry, I just can’t…” (y/n) choked out and suddenly turned around but I wasn’t going to allow her to leave just like that
The second her hands left mine, I grabbed her wrist and turned her around back to me. One of my hands cupped her cheek while the other held her waist as I leaned down and pressed my lips on hers. The first time I kissed someone in years.
Of all the times I’ve kissed before, this felt right. This felt warm and welcoming whereas the previous ones, including the one with my ex, were just out of physical attraction, lust, and distraction. This was out of my own choice, how I care for her and love her.
Feeling her breathing got a bit heavier, I gently pulled away and let my forehead rest on her whilst gently caressing her cheeks. “Sssh, flower. It’s alright. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere and am certainly not going to leave you to break”
“Johnny…” (y/n) mumbled as I kissed right below her ear whilst lifting her and moved to my couch. Sitting down, I gently placed (y/n) on top of me, allowing her to straddle me since I was trapping her in my arms. “Flower. My last relationship was with that shit of an ex that turns out traumatised the both of us. Ever since, I have never, I swear on my members, never actively look for any other girl”
“Throughout those years, I was trying to keep myself busy with work and helping out the group. But in those years, I saw my members falling for their now girlfriends. Going through every obstacle in their relationship and still being together made me jealous but I was still just as traumatised as you were. Until I met you” I explained
“Sure I didn’t really actively look for another girl but that doesn’t mean I would sit around and watch a girl getting harassed like you did. Any normal person would’ve helped you as I did. But I’m glad I was there that day. Because it led us here” I added on
“I don’t deserve you, Johnny…” (y/n) mumbled. “Says who? I’m the one that’s pursuing you. So who the fuck says that you don’t deserve me?”
“Some people, most probably” (y/n) uttered but I kissed her temple, letting my lips linger a bit longer on her temple
“You tell me who they are and I’ll gladly deal with them” I mentioned, finally making (y/n) giggle even just for a bit
“John…” (y/n) called out to me. “If at any point you get bored of me, please don’t hurt me or yourself and just tell me honestly” (y/n) stated but I pulled her closer to me that her hands were on my shoulders for support
“Get that thought out of your mind. If anything, I’m more worried that you’ll leave me” I mentioned. “Do you want to be with me? Do you not want to fall for me?”
“Not like I can just switch off my humanity. I really do want to be with you but I’m just scared. I’m scared and I overthink too much” (y/n) mentioned, making me smile
“Then I’ll have to reassure you every day in every way possible” I joked, making (y/n) giggle. “I promise you that while it’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship, I’ll make sure you know how much I love and care for you. Afterall, I’m the one who chose this in the first place. If anything, being the man I am, I will stand by my choice and take care of you for as long as this life allows me to”
“May I?” I asked, my thumb slightly brushing past (y/n)’s lips as she gave me a shy nod
Smiling, I moved my head closer as my hand gently brought (y/n)’s head closer to meet in between. Both our lips connect once more and I can finally feel (y/n) returning the feelings I’ve poured out to her. Slowly, I brought her body as close as I could, my other hand massaging (y/n)’s waist, calming her tense body as I deepened the kiss between us.
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Though we just admitted the feelings between us, I asked (y/n) to stay over because I was worried that something might happen to her if she were to be on her own. Surprisingly, she followed through and I ordered takeout as she took a shower.
After ordering, I let softly knocked in her room which was the guest bedroom since I didn’t want to move too fast and make her uncomfortable by sleeping on the same bed as me. I told her that I would also be in the shower and that if anyone knocked on the door, it was probably the takeout that I ordered.
Once I heard an answer from (y/n), I headed to my own room and showered as quickly as I could because I felt bad for leaving (y/n) alone for too long. But after I finished showering, I saw a text from Taeyong regarding the stalkers that he and Yuta were questioning.
TY: they caved and told us that the people who sent them were your ex-girlfriend and senior editor
TY: I’ve had Jungwoo and Haechan to dig up information about them and locate them
John: I know. (y/n) told me about them being the ones who made her into a victim. I want them.
TY: we’re locating them right now. I also need to know if (y/n)’s story checks out with those two. How is she doing?
John: we confessed to each other. She’s staying with me until I make sure that those two are dealt with
TY: I’m glad that you finally admitted your feelings but don’t let your guard down. At least until we’ve sorted those two and made sure that no one can access any more human trafficking in Seoul. Until those two are captured, stay with (y/n). Good night, Johnny
I was so lost in my conversation with Taeyong that I didn’t realise how long I left (y/n) alone outside. I quickly grabbed my hoodie and sweatpants then headed out to find (y/n) sitting by the dining island instead of the dining table and the food that I ordered was already laid out on the counter neatly. There were even two plates and other utensils which my heart warmed up along with the view of (y/n) in my own hoodie and pants as well.
“Hey. What were you thinking about?” I mumbled, coming up next to (y/n), kissing the side of her head as one of my arms snaked around her waist, catching her off-guard for a moment
“Hey, sorry. Was just in my head. Also, thank you for letting me stay over and ordering dinner” (y/n) mentioned as I took a seat next to her
“It’s alright. I hope you didn’t wait too long. Also, it’s no problem. I actually prefer that you just stay over from now on. Only if you want. Of course you don’t have to sleep with me in my room if you don’t want to but knowing that you’re here with me and safe makes me feel at ease…” I rambled that I almost missed (y/n)’s soft answer
“Sorry, what did you say?” I asked again, to make sure
“I said okay. As long as I’m not interrupting anything” (y/n) mumbled, making me grin. “You never are. I’ll help you move later. I don’t want you to go out on your own”
“B-but, I can go to campus, right?” (y/n) asked and I thought for a moment because I forgot that she’s going to college
“Of course. I was the one that helped you to get into college. But you should go with Haechan and his girlfriend. Since you said that his girlfriend is your partner. I’m sure that she’s also staying with Haechan. I’ll double-check with him. Sorry, I might seem a bit too much but I’m worried about you. At least until those two are captured” I mentioned, earning a nod from (y/n)
“So um” (y/n) stuttered. “Have you actually looked for them and…”
“Sorry, flower. I’m not going to let you in much about that. At least until I’ve dealt with them” I sighed, eating some of the chicken
“Y-you’re not going to kill them, right?” (y/n) asked, making me question how much patience and goodness she had because if it were up to me, I would take my time to torture them before killing one of them in front of the other
“We don’t really kill, flower. Sure, we do have some blood on our hands but I promise you that they’re all not innocent” I stated, earning a hum from (y/n)
“I’m sorry” (y/n) uttered. I then pulled her chair closer to me as she looked at me in surprise. “Why are you apologising this time? I swear if you apologise one more time, I’m going to have to kiss you until you’re out of breath”
“Gosh, stop with that flirting” (y/n) exclaimed, covering her red face while I just chuckled, slowly taking her hand off her face. “Well? Why the sudden apology?”
“Because I feel bad that you have to face your ex again” (y/n) murmured, looking down at her lap but I found her so cute that I softly pinched her slightly puffed cheeks
“You’re so adorable. But really, flower, it’s nothing. I have to face them sooner or later in my life. Might as well get it over now. Plus, this is the perfect excuse to confront them” I mentioned when I got a text from Taeyong
TY: we’ve found them. Yuta and Hendery are securing them. You enjoy your night first. Deal with them tomorrow or let them rot for a week then deal with them. Your choice
“Is, everything alright?” (y/n) asked as I wiped the corner of her lip that was dirty from the food she ate. “Never better. Let’s have some dinner while we watch a movie, shall we? You pick any movie” I smiled, grabbing our plates and heading to the living room
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NCT Base - 2:09 am
I didn’t want to leave (y/n) alone but I knew that I need to finish the job. Especially when Taeyong said that those two traumamakers arrived and that everyone was waiting for me to come and question them.
After making sure that (y/n) was completely asleep, I texted Haechan if he and his girlfriend were still awake and luckily they were. I asked them to come by my place to take care of the place and a sleeping (y/n) until I’m done questioning and torturing our guests.
“Hyung. You there? My girlfriend and I are here” I heard Haechan’s voice from the intercom
“Thanks for coming by and staying over. (y/n) actually passed out on the couch so I took her to my room. You both can stay in the guest bedroom if you want” I mentioned, opening the door for the sleepy couple
“It’s fine, hyung. I brought our gaming laptops so we’ll just be playing some games, isn’t that right, honey” Haechan cooed at his girlfriend who just hummed
“Thanks again. There are snacks in the fridge and cupboard. Knock yourself out, kids. But please, don’t makeout on the couch. Do it in the bathroom if you want. Easier to clean” I joked, making Haechan groan and his girlfriend flushed
“I’m heading out now. Enjoy yourself kiddos” I bid goodbye but Haechan came to see me out as his girlfriend was setting up their gaming station on my coffee table
“Hyung. Take care of yourself. Don’t go overboard. They’re not worth your energy. Get what information you need and end it. No point getting stuck in the past” Haechan uttered, making me smile at his matured words
“Thanks little bear. I’ll keep that in mind. You take care of the place, alright? Don’t make a mess. I’ll text you when I get back” I mentioned, waving at Haechan and heading to our base
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I walked down to the basement where we would keep our ‘special guests’ and opened one of the doors with the red light above it; indicating that the room was being used.
Inside the room, I saw both Roxanne, my ex-girlfriend and Axton, my ex-senior editor, chained from above, side by side and were most probably pretending to be unconscious. Taeyong, Yuta, and Jaehyun were standing in the center of the room, behind the table that was in between them and those two.
“How long have you had them chained up here like meat?” I asked, putting on the gloves
“They just freshly arrived from the bay. From Japan” Yuta pointed out, making me chuckle since he continued my joke
“We should probably drench them in some cold water to make sure that we didn’t catch dead meat, shall we?” I suggested and Taeyong just smirked, handing me a controller and I pressed one of the buttons that made the ceiling pour ice water on both of our chained guests, waking them up instantly
“What the fuck…who…Johnny?” I heard Roxanne’s voice uttered for the first time in years; albeit a bit more shaking than what I used ot hear
“Why the shock, Roxanne? Miss me that much? Sadly, I don’t miss you or the man whom you had an affair with during one of the worst times in life. Granted, they weren’t as bad as being a victim because you both needed a victim” I stated, the shocked and scared look was obvious
“Whichever girl is trying to get in your pants this time, she clearly has the wrong people. Or are you just looking for a reason to get back at us for all those years ago?” Axton scoffed while I took one of my favourite knives, the carving knife and dragged the blade across his chest as I heard Roxanne squeal
“I’m going to enjoy my time finishing you up, Axton” I smirked, seeing the blood dripping from his chest and on my blade
“And since you mention a specific case which translates to there being a specific, one girl to have given me information regarding you both which means you both would have kept tabs on this specific girl” I smirked, looking at both their scared faces. “Meaning, what she’s saying is actually true”
“No point hiding. Might as well admit what you’ve done” Jaehyun stated, coming to my side while Taeyong just watched us from his chair with Yuta next to him
“Why her? Why chose her to be a victim when she had a life? She was fucking 16!” I growled, specifically towards Roxanne whom I pointed my knife with Axton’s blood. “What if that was you, huh? What if your parents were killed when you were 16?”
“Because she was the perfect victim” Axton chuckled, making me sick. “She was from a proper family. She was taught to be proper and to be an obedient little sl…” Axton didn’t get to continue as punctured his sternum, releasing a rather unrecognisable scream from him before I let my blade drop to the ground
“Should I carve your balls out to somewhat understand the pain of being a victim or should I pull and cut your tongue out, making a tongue soup and serve it to Roxanne because of the disgusting words that come out of your mouth whenever you speak?” I chuckled
“Y-you’re crazy…at least we don’t kill children” Roxanne tried to argue but my members and I scoffed at her
“Crazy? I may have blood on my hands” I smirked, raising my hands so that the light shone the blood dripping along my arm. “Quite literally. But at the fucking least, I don’t kill innocent people for money”
“Sure. I, and the others might not have the best reason to kill someone but at least I don’t kill other people for no fucking reason. At least when I torture and kill, it’s all for a reason” I growled, gripping Roxanne by her neck, slowly squeezing it to the point before she passed out and let go of her neck
“Whose to say that the girl you saved isn’t secretly using you? She must’ve missed her old privileged life that she planned on making you pity her that much” Roxanne breathed out and I was about to squeeze the life out of her if it weren’t for Taeyong stopping me
“You sure that isn’t the other way around?” Taeyong spoke, standing up and walked beside me as I moved out of the way when Taeyong pulled several documents and pictures to Roxanne
“You lived a pretty pathetic life where your parents constantly fought each other, neglecting you and even sold you. You didn’t get the life or love you wanted until Johnny showed up and you used his fortune for your own until you met that sad of a douchebag and betrayed someone who had genuine feelings for you” Taeyong stated, making me recall the horrific time when I found Roxanne making out with Axton
“You were part of the human trafficking as a somewhat of a victim but instead of trying to live your life, you got a little taste of money and that consumed you. You might not kill innocent life but you’re worse than a killer” Taeyong growled, making Roxanne look even more scared, probably the scaredest I have ever seen her
“You’re like a fire. You get close to your prey, warming up to them” Taeyong stated, lighting his lighter and bringing it close to the documents, lighting them up. “Then you slowly burn them. Letting them burn on their own until all that’s left” Taeyong let go of the documents, letting them burn on their own. “Is just ashes that you can’t rebuild into anything”
“Luckily for those people you burn, I found them. Though I couldn’t save part of them that were burnt, I tried to make do with what you left them to be. I found Johnny and took him in, helping him rebuild his burnt self just as he’s doing to the victim you made. All for your selfishness. Wanting them to feel the pain you did” Taeyong went back to his table. “We’re done here. Johnny, finish them. Jungwoo and Kun already found the other victims and thanks to Yuta, we already cut their connection to their clients and suppliers”
“Wh-what?! You’re killing us?! I, I thought that the government…” Roxane uttered but Jaehyun beat her to it
“Gave us complete authority to do what we please to people like you. When it reached a point of no return, the government gave us complete control. As long as we have given them what they wanted or what they were looking for. In this case, they wanted to cut the connection, aka the parasites, aka you both. They also wanted us to help look for the victims which thanks to your computer, we have all of that. It’s only a matter of time to hack into them” Jaehyun explained
“Y-you were just stalling…” Roxanne breathed
“For someone that could manipulate their victims to get away from everyone they know, you’re slow on things when you’re on the other end of the rope” Yuta scoffed while I cocked my gun
“Johnny…you, you wouldn’t….” Roxanne tried to persuade me with that sweet yet toxic voice
“I’m sorry” I uttered which made Roxanne sigh of relief. Oh, how she was wrong.
“I’m sorry for not being good enough for you that I couldn’t quite save you. But you were already lost in that addiction, weren’t you? At least, for this last time, let me save you. From yourself and from any other victims” I mentioned, a bullet was fired straight to Roxanne’s heart as she mouthed my name one last time as I walked to her slowly dying body, closing her eyes. “I hope we won’t ever meet again in the next life. And I hope you have a better life next time”
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By the time I went back to my penthouse, the sun was already starting to rise and when I reached my place, Haechan and his girlfriend were already back at their place when I texted them that I was heading back.
Luckily, there was a shower at the base so I immediately showered and changed right after we were done with those two because I knew that if I showered at my own place, there was a good chance that (y/n) would wake up.
Back at my place, I headed to my room to see (y/n) snuggling in my bed, one of her legs was out of the bed as the blanket was messed up. Seeing her deep asleep self made me smile and I tucked her back in before going to the other side, finally being able to get some rest.
I laid down and wrapped one of my arms around her waist, pulling her close to my chest which made her snuggle closer. I slowly stroked her head mindlessly because of how heavy my eyes felt. But suddenly, I heard (y/n) mumbling my name and slowly waking up, making me smile.
“Johnny?” (y/n) mumbled
“Yes, flower?” I replied, pushing some of her hair out of her eyes
“Why aren’t you asleep?” (y/n) uttered, slowly opening her eyes, looking up to meet mine
“Haven’t been able to sleep” I lied but (y/n) saw through me. “It’s not good to lie”
“I just got back” I admitted as (y/n) hummed. “W-what happened?”
“Nothing that you should know of, flower. It’s over. Though I’m probably going to get much sleep, at least I can finally sleep at ease knowing that the past is finally behind me and hopefully you” I replied, cupping her cheeks
“It’s been over for me since you decided to choose me, John. So let me do the same and take care of you from now on. We had to go through our traumas alone but now, let’s heal it together and take care of each other. Don’t try to be strong on your own, okay?” (y/n) rambled, making me smile and kissed the top of her head before snuggling even closer
“Now and forever, as long as it’s with you, I think I finally see that love is a beauty” I smiled, leaning down to softly feel (y/n)’s lips on mine before we went to our slumber, ignoring the busy world around us.
A/N: AFTER LIKE A MONTH OF WRITING THIS! I FINALLY FINISHED MY 100TH TUMBLR POST AGHHHHHH Thank you to @mymoodwriting for always wanting to read my snippets and share me your opinion and keeping me company whilst writing the final part of this story. This was a very long one and I hope that you guys enjoy this final story of 2023 from me while I finally do the NCT Mafia Masterlist and start 2024 with the Jaehyun request (which will be a different mafia universe compared to this one). Thank you for everyone who recently followed and read my fics. 2023 had many ups and downs and here's to hoping that 2024 will be better for all of us! Merry Christmas and Happy New year :)) xoxo Vinet
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themorningsunshine · 2 years
Text
Pretense
(Requested)
Masterlist
Pairing - Bucky Barnes x f!reader , platonic Avengers x reader
Summary - You have been with orverprotective parents your whole life, and it never bothered you as much. You know they mean well. Until they spew lies in front of your friends and ruin everything for you, including your chance at love.
Warnings - shitty parents, angst, fluff, misunderstandings, a lot of crying, slight language. not proofread 
Word count - 7k (I need to be stopped) 
a/n - This was requested by the lovely @caritobbg​​. I thought it would be a short one shot but it instead turned out to be the longest fic I have ever written. I tried to do the idea justice, hope you lile it, girl. 
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"Yeah, dad. I am at the tower."
"What do you mean why? I live AND work here."
"Yeah, I am taking care of myself, mom." "No, they don't fight each other all the time."
"No, Tony hasn't filled the tower with deadly robots." "No, Steve doesn't conduct history lessons here."
You sighed as your parents asked you for the 10th time this week if you were being kept hostage at the Avengers compound.
Your dad spoke from the other side of the phone. "You know we worry about you, princess. We just don't trust those superheroes."
You smiled a little at the nickname your dad had always called you since you were a little girl. "Yeah, dad, I understand that you worry about me but they are my friends and I trust them. I really wish you could trust them too."
Your parents had always been a little too protective of you. Being an only child, you were the object of their affection more often than not. It had never bothered you as much. You know they meant well.
But it had gotten much worse now. About a year ago, Tony Stark himself offered you a job to work with the avengers considering your skills and obviously, you said yes. It was an opportunity of a lifetime and you had found a family in the team too.
You hadn't told your parents about your new job for 6 months because you were afraid of their reaction. As you had anticipated, they didn't take their little girl working for superheroes very well.
Okay, that was an understatement. Your parents didn't trust the Avengers and they surely didn't trust them enough to be able to protect you. They took any chance they got to convince you to leave the job. All you wanted was for both of your families to get along. Maybe it was too much to ask for.
"Dad, we are friends. We look out for each other. We have each others' backs. Give them a chance, please. Why can't you try to trust them?"
"Hmm. Let me see. Your 'friends' consist of ex-assassins, a witch who used to work for Hydra, a "genius" and his scientist friend who created a robot that wanted to kill the whole of humanity. Oh, and the scientist also has huge anger issues. Like he literally turns into a monster when he is angry. Your best friend has killed more people than she can count. And this group of yours almost broke up once when the best friend of one killed the parents of another. Oh, and that soldier of yours has also reportedly killed a president. You are right. What's there to not trust?"
"Dad, he was brainwashed!!"
"Doesn't make him any less unstable."
You sighed. These arguments with your parents were a dead end. You knew you weren't going to get anywhere.
"Alright, mom, dad. I gotta go."
"Okay, sweetheart. Just take care of yourself. At least until we come to meet you next month."
You smiled at that. "Can't wait. I want to introduce you to everybody. Love you, guys. See you soon, Bye"
"We love you too, princess."
Your smile dropped as you hung up the phone and realization struck you. Your parents were going to visit and as much as you wanted them to meet everybody, you were scared. You could never be sure about how your parents would react. They were too unpredictable.
You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't hear footsteps approaching.
"You okay, doll?"
The voice startled you as you turned back to be met by the beautiful blue of Bucky's eyes. You kept a hand on your chest to calm your breathing. "God, you scared me, Buck."
Bucky just chuckled as he looked at you, eyes filled with concern. "Well, maybe you should be careful who sneaks up on you, doll. This is not really the safest place on Earth."
"The only person who sneaks up on me is you, Bucky." You replied with a smile of your own, as you felt your concerns slipping away.
"Exactly my point. I am not really the most trustworthy person either."
"Then why do I trust you with my life?" The words slipped before you could think about how they would sound. Your cheeks turn little red as you look down at your feet. "You are too good for your own good," Bucky replied with a slight blush of his own and he meant it with everything he had. You were too pure and too trusting for this world. He would never know how he got to even call you his friend.
His eyes squinted as he noticed something. "Doll, there's something in your hair."
Before you could react, he took a step towards you and with gentle hands removed a piece of confetti out of your hair.
You ran your hands through your hair before looking up to thank him when you realized how close the both of you were standing. You were pretty sure he could hear how fast your heart was beating.
The both of you stood there staring into each other's eyes until Bucky took a step back, red color creeping up to his cheeks. He rubbed his neck, flustered, before finally speaking, "Um, I should - I should go."
You nodded your head, trying desperately to get your heart to beat normally. "Yeah, yeah. I'll see you around."
As Bucky walked away, you couldn't wipe off the smile from your face when suddenly your conversation with your parents hit you again.
God, it was going to be a long month.
✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚
"And if you need anything, you can also ask Jarvis." You explained to your parents with the widest grin on your face.
"God, I can't believe you guys are finally here."
Your parents smiled at you before your mom engulfed you in a hug, 7th in the past 1 hour.
"Okay, guys. You know I love you both so much, but we are going to go in now and meet everybody. Can you please, please be nice?"
Your mom put her hand on her chest with a dramatic expression, "You don't trust us?"
You chuckled at how dramatic your mother could sometimes be. "I do, You know I do. But I also know as a matter of fact that both of you aren't very fond of my friends. And all I am asking is that you give them a chance. They are great people, mom. They are really really great and I care a lot about all of them. So, I just need you to be a little open-minded about them. That's all I am asking. Can you do that for me?" "Of course, we will, princess. We hate these inept superheroes but not as much as we love you."
Your parents then looked at each other a too long, which you didn't think much of, too excited at the prospect of your parents and friends getting along.
You took them inside the compound as they looked around in what you hoped was awe.
"Good morning, J.A.R.V.I.S" You greeted the AI just like you did every day.
"Good morning, Ms l/n"
Your parents looked around in shock trying to figure out where that voice came from when you chuckled. "Mom, dad, I told you, you need anything, just ask J.A.R.V.I.S"
Your dad narrowed his eyes at you. "Where is this JARVIS of yours?"
You giggled before replying, "Everywhere and nowhere." Troubling your parents never got old.
"Stop putting forward riddles, we are not in a fantasy adventure movie." Your mom complained.
"Sorry. Sorry Mom, dad, meet J.A.R.V.I.S. He is an AI that operates the whole tower, literally. If you want to know anything, just ask him. Tony created him. That man is such a genius."
Your dad almost rolled his eyes. "Why couldn't he just hire a human to work for him, just like normal people do?"
You sighed, just hoping that the day goes smoothly.
You couldn't be more wrong.
✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*
"And this room is the briefing room." You opened the door to let your parents in but they just looked around from the doorway.
You had just started showing your parents around the compound, readying yourself for the inevitable. The whole team was pretty excited about meeting your parents and you knew sooner than later that someone will run into you.
The inevitable happened as soon as you stepped into the dining room.
Tony was standing there, getting his morning cup of coffee and his face told you he hadn't slept very well last night. Ever since he picked up the mission to update the compound's security system last month, he had hardly been sleeping. You were worried about him.
"Tony?" You said in a soft voice so as to not startle him.
"Oh, hey, kiddo. Awake a little too early today?" He said with a tired smile on his face, taking a jab at the fact that you were definitely not a morning person.
"Are you okay, Tony?"
"Hmm, yeah. Totally." He then looked at your parents who were standing beside you with a scowl on their faces. "Won't you introduce us?"
"Oh, right." A wide grin spread on your face as you turned towards your parents. "Mom, dad. This is Tony. Kind of the co-leader of the group. Tony, these are my parents."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr and Mrs l/n. You have a great daughter."
Your cheeks turned red until your parents began speaking.
"So, he is the guy who has his head so up his arse that he doesn't care about anyone besides himself?" Your dad with a scowl on his face.
You gasped as Tony's eyes widened. "Dad, what are you talking about?"
"He is Stark, right? That's what you said about him after the first day you worked here."
Your eyes widened as your mouth fell open. What was happening? You hadn't even told your parents about your job for the first 6 months. Why were they -
Your eyes frantically searched for Tony's and you felt a slight pain in your chest when you saw how hard he was trying to feign the hurt in his eyes. You needed to set this right. "Tony - "
"Oh, and could you please stop annoying our daughter with all the science and tech talk? That stuff bores the shit out of her." Your mother interrupted you before you could even say anything.
You looked at Tony, desperately trying to explain to him that it wasn't true. You had told your parents how much you loved listening to Tony rambling about his latest creation. You loved how passionate he was about his work. You couldn't imagine your parents using that against you like this.
Before you could say something, Tony spoke, "Oh, I am sorry, I didn't know me talking about what essentially pays your salary irritated you so much." He said with a snarl in his voice that he had never used with you before. Even though the both of you weren't that apart in age, he was like a dad to you and you would never hurt him.
"Tony, it's not what you think." You said, desperately asking him to give you a chance to explain yourself when some more people walked through the door.
You watched as Nat and Wanda entered the kitchen, engrossed in their talk, smiling when they see you.
"Heya, girl"
You internally panic. You didn't know what your parents were up to but this couldn't be nice. You just wanted to take them away from here.
Tony speaks up before you can do anything, "Her parents are here. And they have something very interesting to say. Turns out our goody two shoes has some very different thoughts about us."
"Tony, no. It's not like that. I don't know why - "
"Hey, let me guess who are these two." Your mother exclaimed, conveniently shutting you up.
Wanda looked between you and Tony in confusion before smiling at your parents. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Y/n talks a lot about you."
Your mom looked her up and down before saying with disdain in her voice, "Redhead. A pretty face. You must be the witch."
Wanda's smile wavered but she didn't let her discomfort show.
"You're the one who is so desperate for love that she is dating a toaster."
Wanda gasped as her smile fell. She looked at you, confused and hurt.
"Mom, what are you - "
"That's what you told us, princess. That she is dating a toaster. What's its name again? Vi - Vis.." "Vision. His name is Vision and he is NOT a toaster." Wanda then looked dead into your eyes. "But it's good to know that that's what you think, y/n."
You shook your head frantically. "No, no, Wan. It's not like that. You know that's not true. I would never say that."
Wanda's eyes didn't waver and dread filled you. Your friends were not trusting you.
"What does she say about me?" Nat spoke up. She asked as if she couldn't care less but being her best friend for almost a year now, you could read it in her eyes that she was almost as afraid of the answer as you were.
"You're the black widow, right?" Your father questioned.
Your mother spoke up without waiting for a reply, "You are the useless one. No, like, really, the three of us always wonder, why are you even a part of the group? There are supersoldiers in here, witches and literal gods, what do you do? Throw some punches? Kicks?"
"Gods. That reminds me, where are the self-proclaimed gods/aliens of yours?" Your dad snickered, amused.
"Which one?" Your mom questioned in reply. "The doofus or the monster which can never be trusted?"
You had had enough. You exclaimed, "Okay, guys. Enough. Stop talking."
Your dad smirked. The audacity. "Come on, princess. Aren't you tired of pretending? Don't you want your friends to know what you actually think about them?"
You opened your mouth to tell them that whatever they were saying was as far from the truth as it could get when everybody in the kitchen heard footsteps approaching.
You heard Steve before you saw him, "Who thinks about what?" He asked, genuinely curious.
Your heart started beating frantically when you realized he wasn't alone. Sam and Bucky had entered the kitchen with him. But unlike the other times, your heart was beating with fear. This couldn't be happening. No, no.
"Y/n's parents are here. They were telling us all the great stuff she says about us to them." Wanda said with pure disgust in her voice. You had never seen her this mad.
"Guys, trust me. It's not - " "Come on, y/n. Let them speak." Sam said before turning towards your parents. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr and Mrs l/n."
Your father rolled his eyes before saying, "You're the one who got kicked out of the Air Force and then kissed Captain America's arse for a job."
Sam's jaw dropped but before he could say anything your mom replied, "No, honey. Y/n told us it was that Ant-man."
Your dad shook his head. "No, no. Antman is the one who went to jail. He is Falcon."
You were seeing red now. You knew that your parents were a little too overprotective of you and hence didn't like you taking this job. But you thought meeting your friends and realizing how caring and nice everybody was would change their minds. You never thought that they would ever do this to you.
You desperately wanted to explain yourself. To tell your friends that this was all a lie but you couldn't. You could see it in their eyes that they already hated you. And with your parents standing right there, you knew it would be impossible to give them. Maybe you could talk to them after your parents left. You just hoped they would give you a chance to explain yourself.
When your dad's eyes landed on Bucky, panic swelled inside you. Nononono.
"Oh, and you must be the winter soldier. That metal arm makes it pretty obvious though." Your dad said as he pointed towards Bucky's left side with pure disgust in his eyes as if it was the most horrifying thing he had ever seen.
Tears welled in your eyes as you saw how Bucky pulled his sleeves to cover more of his arm and blocked it from view.
"Do you have any idea how difficult you make it for people to work in this compound? Y/n complains to us how she has to walk on eggshells around you, scared that anytime you would get back to being the assassin that you have always been." Your mother uttered the words with a permanent frown on her face.
"But can you blame her though? You can not just kill hundreds of people and live freely, pretending to be a hero."
"Enough." You shouted. You couldn't take it anymore and your parents had gone too far.
You looked at Bucky, about to explain to him that none of it was true. That you were never scared of him. Not even for a second. Because you loved him. Since the day you had met him, your heart had held nothing but love for him.
But the look that you saw in his eyes made you stop in your tracks. He wasn't looking at you with hate or anger. No, it was much worse. He looked hurt. As if someone had pulled his heart out of his chest and stomped on it. You couldn't help but notice that his eyes held a little bit of understanding too as if he didn't blame you for thinking that way.
Your chest hurt and you wanted nothing more than to reach out to him.
"Wow. That - that was." Steve broke the silence, but it was the first time you had seen him out of words. "Is that really what you think about us, y/n?"
"No, no, Steve, None of it is true."
"Come on, princess. You don't have to put up a facade anymore. No more pretense."
"Stop it." You shouted at your parents. This was the first time you had ever raised your voice at them, but you couldn't care less. They were ruining everything.
"Guys, you need to trust me. Please." You looked at everybody, begging them with your eyes and words to just trust you.
"I don't understand. Why did you pretend to be our friend for so long? Why pretend to care when that's what you really think?" Wanda spoke, bewildered.
"No, no. That's not - " You spoke, tears at the brim of your eyes. This couldn't be happening.
"For the money, of course. Come on, why would someone live in the most dangerous place on earth if not for a buttload of money?" Your dad said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"No, no, no, please. You guys have to trust me, please." You looked around at everybody, frantically searching for even a hint that everything was not ever. That they could trust you. But all you got was hurt faces and built-up walls.
"Why are you doing this to me?" You shout at your parents. You were extremely close to sliding on the floor and crying your heart out.
"We are trying to help you, princess. We are freeing you." Your mom said with a smug expression.
"You don't have to do that anymore," Tony spoke and all the eyes in the room looked at him. Hope swelled in your chest.
"You don't have to stay here and pretend to like us. I really really want to fire you but you know too much and your statistical skills are too good to be wasted. So, you will be transferred. Somewhere far from us where we don't ever have to see your face." Tony spoke with a sense of finality in his voice and your heart broke into a hundred pieces.
You looked at your feet and swallowed the lump in your throat before looking at him and whispering, "You don't have to do that." You then turned and looked into the blues of Bucky's eyes which you were so familiar with and all you could do was whisper, "I am sorry."
You didn't wait for anybody's response before walking out and towards your room.
There was nothing that you could do anymore.
You were not going to take that transfer.
This job was never about money to you. You had found a family here, and you loved them with everything you had. But it still wasn't enough for them to trust you.
You cried and cried and cried till you had no more tears to let go before getting up and packing your bag.
You had to leave. You couldn't face them again.
There was only one thing left to do.
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The compound was silent.
It was as if nobody even lived here anymore.
Everybody sat at the dining table staring at the food in front of them, nobody taking a bite.
It was as if a part of them was missing. As if the one thread that had bound them together was somehow suddenly torn apart.
There was an unspoken agreement between them. Nobody would talk about what had happened earlier that day. The wound was too fresh to be confronted.
Nobody knew where you were right now. But everybody just assumed that you were in your room.
Steve was very close to barging into your room and bringing you to the dining table. He couldn't count the number of times he had told you that you shouldn't talk while eating and even after choking on your food twice, you hadn't listened to him and Steve was glad. There was nothing he wouldn't give right now to bring back the lively chatter that had always surrounded the dining table. But he had to remind himself that everything he had thought was a lie, a pretense.
Tony was angry. He was seething. He had cared for you like you were his own daughter and you had thrown all of that into a drain.
Wanda just wanted to know how you were so good at acting. How you could pretend to be her best friend when you hated her all along?
But Bucky just wanted to know one thing - why. He didn't blame you for thinking that way about him. You weren't the only one who did. But he wanted to know why you would pretend to be his friend, to care about him when you thought him to be a monster. Why did you comfort him after all those panic attacks and nightmares telling him it wasn't his fault when you blamed him for every single thing? Why had you let him fall in love with you if you couldn't even stand him? You had to know that it would leave him devastated. He didn't blame you for hating him, but how was he supposed to live without your light now? Especially when he knew it was never for him?
Nat couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't just let everyone swallow themselves in silence for a person who never even cared about them in the first place. She harshly got up before walking towards the living room for a bottle of wine.
She shook her head when the memories of all of you hanging out at the same place plagued her mind.
As she walked past the bookshelf, she noticed something which had never been there before.
She frowned as she walked towards it to realize that it was a pen drive. She slowly picked it up to find a note attached to it which just read, "Sorry".
She was so engrossed that she didn't hear footsteps approaching until a hand took the pen drive from her. She looked up to realize Tony was looking at the drive intently as if scanning it with his eyes.
"What's this?" He asked, confused.
"No idea. Found it on the bookshelf."
Tony read the note and recognized the handwriting almost instantly. "It's y/n's."
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Everybody sat in the living room staring intently at the screen before them.
Tony had assembled everybody and they had all agreed to watch the pen drive once. Maybe it would answer their questions. Maybe it was just an old pen drive and had to do nothing with what had happened today but they had to know.
The system finally finished scanning the drive after what felt like a lifetime and your face flashed on the screen.
Your tears-stained cheeks and red, swollen eyes, told them that the video was indeed today's.
"Hey, guys." You sounded broken and defeated.
"I am not even sure that you are going to watch this." You let out a sad chuckle.
"But I just needed to say this 'cause it feels like if I don't, it will swallow me whole. And you guys deserve to know the truth, too."
"I just - I want you all to know that all that you heard today, none of it was true. Not even a single word of it. And I need you guys to know this." You looked directly into the camera as if begging them to trust you and nobody dared to move.
"I - I don't know why my parents did what they did. I have no idea. I can tell myself that they were trying to protect me, but who am I trying to convince? 'Cause, you don't protect someone by taking away the best thing that ever happened to them." You sniffled, rubbing your palms on your face to wipe off the tears.
"And that is what this team was for me. This job, this team, was the best thing that ever happened to me. And it was never because of the money or the luxuries of living in the tower, it was you guys. You were a family I found in a city I knew nothing about. And that was what mattered to me."
Tony wanted to shut the video off, to tell everybody that maybe you were lying here too, pretending, but he knew it wasn't true. Your eyes shone with guilt and desperation and eyes never lie.
The video continued. "And maybe you are not even watching this video. Maybe you will never know how I actually felt and will hate me forever, but if there is even a slight chance that you are watching this, and there is a small part of you that can trust me, I want you to know what I actually think about you.
Tony, you were like a dad to me. You always looked out for me and were so damn concerned about me the whole time and I can't thank you enough. Thank you for always looking out for me and I never for a second got annoyed by you talking about tech, you might not know this but your eyes shine brighter when you are talking about your creations and I would never get tired of that. The only complaint I had for you is that you need to take care of yourself more. Stop sleeping in your lab and eating shawarma all the time in the name of food, it's not healthy. Take care of yourself, Tony, 'cause there are some people who will always need you."
Tony looked away, blinking hard so as to not let the tears roll down his cheeks. All the times when you brought him food in his lab because he hadn't left his spot for hours and then you forced him to finish it all, you didn't do it as a pretense, you did it because you genuinely cared about him.
"Nat, you're the bravest and the most badass person I know. Don't tell anyone, but you are my favorite fighter. I admire you so damn much. Who cares that you can't lift things with your mind or fly? You can kick people's asses without blinking an eye. You inspire me so much."
"Wanda, you and Nat are my best friends and I am so proud of you. After everything you've lost, gathering the courage to love again is the most courageous thing I've ever seen. You and Vis make me believe in love. Hell, I even had a speech ready for your wedding as your bridesmaid." You had a small smile on your face as if remembering something, "Now that I am not going to be there anymore, Nat, I am going to ask you to give a great speech from my side too. I know you are not a very emotion-oriented person, but please try. 'Cause Wanda deserves nothing but the best."
Wanda sniffed audibly and Nat kept a hand on her shoulder.
"Thor, prince of Asgard, Son of Odin." You said in the voice that Thor had taught you to intimate a long time ago and chuckled. "I know you are the one who stole all my pop tarts." As Thor's eyes widened, the video continued, "Don't act surprised. Why do you think I never changed the place of keeping my pop tarts even after they went missing every single week? I am not upset, nope. I don't even like those that much. I just need you to know that I won't be there to keep those tarts there. Ask J.A.R.V.I.S., he knows where I brought them from. He will tell you."
"Sam." Sam looked up from his spot as he heard his name. "I am a little upset with you. You never let me use red wig." You pouted and Sam chuckled. "But you do know that you are the funniest, smartest, and one of the most deserving people to be on the team, right? Hell, bringing you to the team was the best decision Steve ever made."
You stopped for a moment looking down at your feet, when you breathed, "Bucky." Your voice was much softer now as if his name was a prayer.
Bucky looked up into the camera, his heart beating a mile per minute. If this was all a lie too, he didn't want to know what you had to say. Even if it was actually how you felt, he wasn't sure he was ready for what you were going to say.
"I - " You stopped and took a deep breath. You looked vulnerable as if you were apart to lay your soul bare in front of you. "Bucky, I just - Whatever you heard today, it is not true. None of it. Since the day I met you, I have never been scared of you. Not for a single second. You know I don't blame you for anything that Hydra did, you have to know. I don't think you were a monster. I think you are the sweetest, kindest and bravest person I know. I wasn't lying when I told you that I trusted you with my life. I trust you, I care about you, and I - "
Bucky's breath hitched in his throat as you suddenly stopped.
"Well, there is a major chance that you're not even watching this, so .. why not? It's not like I am ever going to get a chance to say it to you. So, here it is -
I love you, Bucky. I am in love with you. I have been for a very long time now. I could tell myself that it was just a small crush and it would go away sooner or later, but who am I kidding? I want to spend every single moment of my day with you. You're the first thought that comes to my mind when I wake up and my last memory before I fall asleep. When you are around, I can't stop looking at you and when you are not, all I want to do is look at you. I know that you might never feel this way about me, especially after today, but I just had to say it once."
You took a deep breath before speaking with finality in your voice, "I just hope that one day you guys will know that it wasn't a pretense. That this team was everything to me. I found a family, a place to call home, I found love. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me."
The video stopped and everybody bowed their heads down while Bucky just stared at the screen desperately, as if you would walk out of it.
You loved him.
You wanted to be with him and god if that thought alone wasn't the best thing that had ever happened to him. He didn't think you could love him. He had accepted the fact that he was destined to love you from afar, a love that you would never know about.
But you felt the same. He didn't have to watch you fall in love with someone else and get your happily ever after, because you wanted that to be him.
You could be his happily ever after.
Before he could let himself be hopeful, realization struck him and left him breathless.
You had said that you would never get the chance to say it to him personally. The things that you had said, the finality in your voice, it had all sounded like a ... goodbye.
He stood up abruptly, only to realize that all the eyes were on him.
Some were filled with tears, others were trying really hard to keep their emotions in check. No, no, this couldn't be. How was he supposed to live without you now that he knew that you loved him too?
Without muttering a word to anybody, he rushed out of the room, through the corridor, and towards your room. You couldn't have gone yet. No, no, he would beg you to stay, get on his knees and ask you to forgive him.
He stood outside your door for a moment, taking a deep breath, mentally preparing himself.
He brought his hand to knock on your door, only to realize that it wasn't locked.
With bated breath, he pushed the door open.
It was vacant. Everything that you had put in to make it a home, was gone.
You were gone.
✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*
The whole team stood in the living room, waiting.
Bucky walked in, his head shaking and arms trembling.
Nobody uttered a word as they waited for him to give words to the inevitable. He looked up, tears brimming his eyes as he whispered, "She is gone."
Everybody gasped as guilt filled them.
Only if they had trusted you.
"No, no. We cannot give up. We need to find her. I am going to find her. We cannot give up this easily." Bucky said, praying that he was right, that not everything was lost. There was still hope. There had to be.
"He is right. We can't just let her go." Wanda said, tears straining her cheeks. "There has to be a way." Sam agreed.
Tony suddenly lightened up as he took out his tablet. "We can track her. If she hasn't switched off her phone, we can find her exact location." He had enabled a tracking sensor in everyone's phone some time ago. He remembered the way you had pouted and teased him that it was an invasion of privacy, but had finally let him install it nonetheless.
He let out a sigh of relief when he realized he could still check the location of his phone. "She is heading towards the airport."
Dread filled everybody as Tony's words sank in. You were leaving. Forever.
"She is in a cab right now. I can figure out its number, but it might be too late."
"I have to go," Bucky exclaimed. "I am not going to let her go. No. I need to find her." He looked around, ready to fight anyone who came in his way.
But everybody just gave him a reassuring look as Steve whispered, "Go, get the girl, Buck."
✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*
You looked through the window as the city lights bristled by.
Your cheeks were still stained with tears as you left behind the place you had called home.
But there was no other option. Your parents had left you with no other choice.
It hurt that they had actually been successful in their mind games, but there was nothing you could do. Your parents had taken from you, the best part of your life.
You were going to miss the city, the team, and your friends, but there was one person you were going to miss the most.
Leaving him was like leaving a part of your behind and you knew that Bucky Barnes was always going to have a piece of your heart, even if he didn't know about it.
You swallowed the lump in your throat as the cab came to an abrupt, sudden stop.
The cab driver looked back at you before asking, "Ma'am, are you okay."
You nodded your head before asking, "Are you?" After he nodded, you continued, "What happened?" "A man just rushed his bike past us, way beyond the speeding limit, and then stopped it right before us, in the middle of the bridge."
You frowned as you looked in front of the cab.
Your breath hitched in your throat as you recognized the bike and the man getting down from it.
"Bucky." You breathed before opening the cab door, against the driver's protests, your legs on autopilot.
When your eyes met Bucky's, you could see him visibly relaxing with relief.
"Bucky, what are you - " You exclaimed against the sound of the wind.
He got down from his bike and started walking towards you quickly. "Doll, how could you?"
Your heart skipped a beat at the nickname before you lowered your head. Of course, he hated you after what had happened. He didn't trust you.
You looked up to realize that he was a couple of feet distance from you now. You opened your mouth, apologies about to come tumbling from your lips when you were cut off by him.
You gasped in shock as Bucky closed the little distance between the both of you, pressing his lips to yours, in a gentle, yet desperate kiss, as if he was drowning and only the feeling of your lips could bring him back to the shore.
When the surprise finally washed off, you brought your hands to his chest as his led down to your waist, and you kissed him back. You didn't understand what was happening. But if it was goodbye, you wanted it to last forever.
When the necessity to breathe arose, Bucky pulled back but stood close.
He leaned in and touched your forehead with his before closing his eyes.
You breathed him in. He smelled of fresh coffee and pine. He smelled like home.
"How could you leave me, doll? Without even saying anything. Not even a goodbye?" He tried to be upset with you. But who was he kidding? You could stab him through his chest and he would still thank you.  
Tears brimmed your eyes as you took in a deep breath, you wanted to savor this moment. "Buck, I - I am sorry. Whatever my parents said today, it was a lie. A huge lie. I wanted to tell you, but - "
"It's okay, doll. I trust you. But, I - I need to ask you something." He took a deep breath, already dreading your answer to the question he was about to ask. "Did you mean it?"
"Of course, I didn't. None of it. I don't blame you for anything, Bucky. I am not scared of you. I have never been."
"That's not." Bucky closed his eyes shut, praying that he could word his feelings correctly. "We - we saw the video."
Your eyes widened as realization struck you. He knew.
You had stupidly confessed all your feelings on a video. What were you thinking? He would be so embarrassed right now but you couldn't back out now.
"Buck, I - I do love you. That is the truth. But you don't have to say anything. I understand if you don't - "
Before you could finish your sentence, Bucky brought his fingers under your chin to make you look up at him before leaning in to press his lips against yours once again.
Hope swelled in your chest as you brought your arms to encircle his neck and kissed him back.
He pulled away a little too quickly to look up at you with a small smile on his face. The look in his eyes made butterflies erupt in your tummy with a ferocity you had never felt before.
"I love you too, doll. I do. With everything that I have. I love you and I am so so sorry that I didn't give you a chance to explain. I am so sorry that I didn't trust you.
I never told you this because I - I am not good enough for you, doll. I don't deserve you."
You shook your head, about to correct him, when he continued, "And I think I still don't. Being with you puts you in so much danger too, maybe I shouldn't even be with you. But I am tired of pretending that I don't want to. I am tired of pretending like I don't want to spend every single moment for the rest of my life with you. So, if you'll allow me, doll, I'll spend the rest of my life, trying to be the man you can proudly call yours 'cause I love you so damn much."
Tears were now flowing down your cheeks for a completely different reason. You leaned in to kiss him again when the both of you were interrupted by the cab driver shouting from the cab, growing impatient, "Madam, do you want to go or not?"
Bucky looked at you with hopeful eyes and you turned back to yell to the driver, "Never"
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pixxiies · 5 months
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ꨄ MAKE IT UP . 𓂃 ㅤ۫ ㅤ⊹
— c.s. series | part 1 . .
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pairing :: chris sturniolo x fem!oc
summary :: in which isabella decantis has to share a dorm room with her high school enemy, chris sturniolo.
word count :: 1,390 k
warnings :: swearing, angst (??), lowercase intentioned, 3rd person, chris is a dick, drinking, throwing up, fluff if u squint, n thats it
a/n :: yall r crazy for getting tense to 800 notes 😭😭 i love u guys all dearly. also the story line is js smth i ended up doing on c.ai and i thought it was realy good so 😁 also credits to maxine for the name she said she wouldnt read this if i didnt give her credits
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COLD was what amber-eyed isabella decantis felt while walking down the long hallway. after waiting for weeks and even months, she had finally gotten accepted into her dream college. the brunette girl looked down at the small folded paper to know which dorm was hers. to her surprise, the hallway was empty on move in day. she knew how hard had been working and how much money she paid to get one of the dorms that have a private bathroom. she knew she deserved this.
‘ROOM 617’ was said on the small sign on the door. isabella put her boxes down after struggling to carry them for almost 10 minutes. she excitedly took out the key to unlock the door, but it was already open. bella raised her eyebrow slightly, a bit shocked that her dorm mate would already be here. she opened the door slowly while letting out a soft, “hello?”
her amber eyes met with blue eyes. “uhm.. what the fuck are you doing here?” chris mumbled, getting up from his bed. isabella’s jaw clenched as she looked back down at the folded paper. “this is room 617?” she spoke with anxiety laced into her tone. “are ya’ blind?” the brunette boy spoke coldly. “no because if i was, i wouldn’t already know that im gonna have to be with you.” she spat as she kicked her boxes filled with clothes and other things into the room.
bella picked up the few boxes and placed them on top of her bed. the room now completely silent, she took a box knife that she had in her purse and started to open the boxes up. “cant fucking believe im gonna have to be stuck with you for the entire year.” chris mumbled under his breath, thinking that isabella couldn’t hear him when in reality she did. “well we both wouldn’t be pissed off if you didn’t bully me through all of high school, wouldn’t we sturniolo?” isabella snapped.
“well thats what you deserve for being all slutty n shit when you fucked every guy in school decantis.” he argued back, not even looking up from his phone. bella paused from packing to turn to chris. her hands rested on her love handles. “excuse you! your the one who played every girl in bell borne! remember lizzy? yeah, you fucked around with her for a bit and then you cheated on her with her sister.” she retorted with frustration laced into her words. “but ohhh, no remember that one time when you cheated on her sister with her bestfriend?” bella continued, pissed off that chris was probably not even listening.
“oh please bella! you sent nudes to basically all of the guys during junior and senior year. dont act all innocent and act like you didn’t do anything.” chris finally snapped as he put his phone down. “jesus christ and you fucked how many guys in the bathroom?” he didn’t stop there. “don’t be coming after me sayin shit like im a player when you were a slut too.” he finally stopped. isabella rolled her eyes, turning her back to chris. “oh so now what? when i finally say the truth you stay quiet? is that what hurts you to know bella?” he taunted.
“that’s because its all a shitty humor chris! i didn’t fuck anybody in any bathroom, i didn’t send nu— well i sent nudes to my boyfriend.. i didnt send nudes to any other guy but him!” she defended herself while throwing her hands up with mercy. “for fucks sake chris you’re just like your ex girlfriend. she was such a fucking dick. you know you were nicer in eighth grade but when you started to date her during the summer you became a prick. guessing you also played her then?” bella added, tilting her head to the side slightly while crossing her arms. after a few seconds of awkwardness, isabella knew chris was finally silenced, atleast for now.
bella turned back to her things and continued to unpack everything. she carefully placed things on top of the shelfs next to her bed. her dainty crystals, her box of tarot cards, her little jewelry box, everything that she had loved. but it wasn’t too soon until the silence started to kill her. she then remembered that he had brought her vinyl player along with two or three records. the brunette girl carefully opened the book that held them, then taking them out. happily, isabella plugged in the vinyl player and putting on a mac demarco record on to play. chris groaned quietly as the music started to fill the room. “jesus what is this shit?” he asked while getting up from his bed to turn off the music.
“its music…” bella mumbled, quickly turning it back on. “well yeah it sounds depressing, who listens to that kinda stuff.” chris argued as he turned it back off. the girl pouted slightly. “people who listen to mac demarco?? if its bothering you so much then get out while i finish unpacking.” she shrugged. chris didn’t give her an audible reply, instead just simply putting his shoes on and leaving the room. isabella let out a small sigh of relief, thankful she had the room to herself now for a while.
. . . .
isabella was now in her nicely made bed comfortably. her wired earbuds connected to her phone which played music softly into her pierced ears. she hummed to herself quietly once she noticed the time. 1:03am. the brunette girl couldn’t actually help but feel a little bit worried about where he was. but of course, she quickly brushed it off and enjoyed how cozy she was currently. soon enough, a loud thud hit the door. isabella’s eyebrow raised slightly while lazily getting out of bed.
the brunette walked over to the door, taking out one earbud while opening it. her eyes met chris’ eyes. his hair stook out everywhere and some of it stuck to his forehead, his hand holding a bottle of something, his eyelids droopy, and his scent reeking of alcohol and his cheap cologne. “jesus what did you do?” bella asked while moving to the side to let chris in. “mmmhh” he rather giggled. he belly-flopped onto his bed and wiggled around on it for a while, bella assuming he was trying to get comfortable. “are you.. drunk?” she asked, crossing her arms. “don’t be ridicu-lush.. ‘m not that drunk.” he slurred while continuing to giggle like a baby.
isabella hesitated, but she grabbed the bottle that was in his grasp. “jesus! vodka chris?” she groaned in annoyance. he let out a small hiccup in reply that kinda made her laugh. isabella just watched him wriggle around in his bed before his body shot up. “what now?” she mumbled. “im gonna throw up.” chris groaned as he quickly ran to the bathroom that was connected to the dorm. the brunette girl ran after the boy as he kneeled down in-front of the toilet to throw up. isabella who had emetophobia, was also not doing well. her fingers lightly held chris’ front pieces of hair back with one hand patting his back gently, trying not to look at the throw up.
“there ya go..” she whispered quietly. after he was done doing his thing, isabella grabbed a plastic cup and filled it up with tap water. “here, drink some water.” the brunette said, then flushing the toilet. chris gladly took the cup of water and took little sips. “feel better?” she asked as she leaned against the sink counter, looking down at chris on the floor. “hm, i think ‘m still drunk.” he admitted, putting the cup down. isabella hummed quietly, nodding her head as she stuck out a hand to help chris up. “get some sleep.” she suggested while walking chris back into the room. “m’kay..” he babbled while quickly flopping back on his bed.
the amber-eyed girl turned off the bathroom lights then walked over to her bed. she had also decided to go to sleep. isabella turned off her lamp and put her phone to charge. her body slid underneath her sheets and blankets. she heard chris snore like a truck, “great.” she thought. honestly though, she didn’t mind it that much. after staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, she quickly fell asleep.
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a/n ;; STARTING MY FIRST SERIES 🙀🙀🙀 this might be a bit messy for the first part but i do hope u guys enjoyed it!!
taglist :: @espressomads @mattsluttywaist @sturniol0s @luverboychris
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spiky-imp-teeth · 3 months
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I Wanna Talk About Verosika's Party Guests
So first off, it would probably be wise to make a big fat disclaimer before getting into this: Blitzo has legitimately hurt a lot of people, it is a problem, and narratively that was the point of the party. He needed to realize this for his character development to move forward. This is not a "Blitzo did nothing wrong" post.
Ok, now that that's out of the way . . . I'm honestly so curious how many of those party attendees were people Blitzo legitimately hurt in a significant way.
Dennis is what got me thinking about this. Not only is he not an ex, he wasn't even a one night stand. He and Blitzø made out briefly at a party. That's it.
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It makes me wonder how many of these people could be in that same category - or perhaps how many of them might've only been a step further. A hookup or sex a few times or even a couple of dates, but unlike with Verosika, nothing that became serious enough for anybody to get truly hurt.
Like, if the spectrum ranges from Blitzo being "stranger i made out with who didn't end up sleeping with me" to "guy who shattered my heart and bailed on me when i told him i loved him" how many of these people are actually in Verosika's category?
And tbh I think the answer is probably quite a few! Way too many! Like I said, Blitzo has genuinely hurt a lot of people - but I have an inkling that possibly a good number of the people at that party have Blitzo experiences that range from "didn't text back after a one-night stand" to "Dennis-level-non-issue."
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^^ (what blitz said in the above scene was a joke but also seemed to refer to his real-life actions)
What I'm saying is there's room here for a whole range of behaviors that, while not conducive to Blitzo's mental health or his underlying need for intimacy, are also not particularly hurtful to others. Annoying, yeah. Disrespectful, probably. But not by any means heartbreaking. To some of these people, I don't think Blitzo was ever anything more than an asshole they met at a bar one night.
Additionally, there's the concept of the party itself. In the case of both this and the Dennis thing, I'm not sure exactly how much the narrative wants us to take certain things seriously. But assuming it does -
This is just a theory, but I imagine the party started with Verosika talking with others about what Blitzo did and realizing through those conversations that Blitzo has a lot of exes he fucked over. So hey - let's throw a party about it! Blow off some steam, commiserate, build relationships with each other, have a good time. Thus we end up with this party centered around hating one specific guy.
In the following years the party would've gotten bigger and bigger - largely due to Blitzo gaining more exes, obviously, and also word spreading about the party's existence. But as Verosika started to move on from Blitzo, I can see the party morphing into more about the general concept of hating Blitzo, not so much specifically centered around people who were harmed in a way similar to what Verosika experienced. She starts inviting anybody who had even the mildest negative experience with Blitzo - hence our spectrum that I theorize ranges all the way from deeply hurt people to scorned weekend love affairs to ghosted one night stands to Dennis.
Also - I have no idea if this was the show's intention and maybe I'm reaching here, but I wonder how many of the attendees aren't even remotely having feelings about Blitzo anymore. The party, for them, could be more about the idea of Blitzo, about shitty exes in general, shitty people in general. It's fun to come together and hate on something! It makes for a lively party to have more attendees, and it's probably good for the atmosphere to have folks there who are able to hate on Blitzo from a more lighthearted place.
I've also wondered about the two people we see crying (other than Stolas). We assume they're crying over Blitzo - but are they crying solely over Blitzo and their actual experiences with him, or could there be a level of combining all of their hurt over various exes onto one target because that's helping them process their pain?
(eh, it's probably meant to be read as them crying over blitzo. but my alternate theory is a still a possibility. maybe something between the two? i guess my main idea there is that we don't technically know they're both crying over blitzo; the important thing is that blitzo sees them crying and it helps him connect with the idea that he's caused genuine harm.)
And I do wonder how many people has Blitzo gotten close enough with to truly hurt them like he did Verosika. How many of the people at the party were actually able to get to know him as a person deeply enough for him to break their hearts? Especially recently?
I guess I'm not necessarily trying to make any specific point here. Like I said at the beginning, Blitzo truly has done a lot of harm and needs to change. I just find it interesting to step back and get a wider perspective on this party - try to work out what Blitzo has actually done, and what might just be getting projected onto him. The party exaggerated the sheer number of people he's hurt, but I absolutely think he needed that exaggeration in order to Get It - and it's also good to remember, in Blitzo's defense, that it was in fact an exaggeration.
tl;dr: "free my man he only did some of that" vibes i guess?
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butterflies-and-yuta · 6 months
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Limits - Nakamoto Yuta
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Summary: Now that you were single and broken up with your shitty ex boyfriend, you now met someone who has not only gotten their heartbroken by their ex, but also is willing to help you get over him by basically fucking you better than your ex has ever did....
Genre: Fluff and Angst
Trigger warning: Physical Abuse, Physical Assault, Slut Shaming, Cheating, etc...
Quick Disclaimer: This is part 1 of a 2 part story, the other story will have the spicier stuff in it so stay tuned...
Part 1
Y/N P.O.V
You couldn't believe it, you couldn't believe your boyfriend of 3 years had not only broken up with you but has also cheated on you with someone that goes to the same school as you. So now things are incredibly more awkward now as you try your best to avoid social groups and her specifically but then you had class, and that class had her in it so that's just made it more awkward now.
But you didn't focus on it too much since you're in school and your education matters more than an insatiable man's penis, and as you were about to take your seat with your friends, you saw the girl move towards to your spot and your friends were about to confront her but you told them not to so you just took a spot that was 2 rows further back away from them and proceeded with your work as class was staring to begin.
While you were sitting down and focusing on what today's subject was about, you couldn't help but feel a stare from behind you, normally you would be bothered by it since you're not used to it but you couldn't help but feel like peaking a little bit so you slowly turned your head to the left to see who was looking at you from behind and no one was looking at you except for him.
Yuta Nakamoto, how can I explain who he is, well apart from the fact that he is not only intimidating and cold-looking but is also kind of popular around here since he is friends with some other blokes and mostly close with a guy name Johnny Suh. you mostly heard good stuff about them especially Yuta, but you also heard about a rumour spreading around that he also got cheated on by his ex as well.
Your stories are a bit similar with each other but you just couldn't comfort him or at least talk to him about it since 1: you two weren't really close, 2: since he does have that intimidating and cold-look to him, it's a bit tricky trying to see if he's interested or not, and 3: even though you'd like to get close to him, you two are still people dealing with infidelity and broken hearts, it just wouldn't be the right time to do something that was romantic and intimate with each other.
But there is something about this person that makes you curious and wants to know more about him, mainly because he's not only so different from your ex, but also personality wise as well, when you met your ex, he was like those tiktok boy but more down to earth.
But after a while of you two dating each other, he started focusing more on his appearances and also his social status as well, he never even bothered bringing you to some of his social gatherings, which you didn't like due to how loud they were but there were times in which he has went to some silent functions without you, even some of his friends that you met were surprised to find out that their mate had a girlfriend.
And then came the day, the day you finally caught him in the act. You were at a restaurant with your friends to celebrate their birthday, but unfortunately you saw your ex there with not only his mistress, but she also had the same gifts as he had gotten when you saw them back at home.
And when you went to confront him about, his girl started talking about how she knew you from her school, that was when you found out that she went to the same school as you. You couldn't handle it, you slam the roses on him and threw the jewellery box he got for you at him, and even told his new girlfriend "And good luck with my sloppy seconds too bitch", which at first felt mean but after she started treating you badly at school, she kinda deserved it.
And ever since that day, you've been trying your best to just move on and just forget that had ever happened, but somehow karma was not on your side. As the news went around the school, you started to hear people whispering about you which at first you ignored but it started getting annoying and irritating that some of her friends would go throw soda cans along with crumpled up paper balls at your head. You just wanted to hope for the best and just hopefully be able to finish the school.
But as you sat there with Yuta that day, you started noticing him a bit more different now compared to the usual times. He had some piercings in which looked kinda cool, especially with his hair that seemed to be dyed red which isn't usual for you since you normally see him with dark hair, but what caught your attention more on him was that he keeps his bangs long enough to cover part of his eyes and the back of his hair medium length, he nearly looked like a anime character with the way his bangs look like they've been done with gel instead of cutting it.
But there was more to his hair than its own styling probably done by himself, It looks pretty soft too, so soft that you wished you ran your hands through his hair to feel it. But his fashion was just another story, he literally looked like he just stepped out of a Japanese Rock style fashion store, which isn't far off from his considering he is Japanese but you notice whenever your at school with him that he would wear alternative clothing but make it more like how a rockstar would wear it. it was really cool and unique and you wished you could learn more about it.
But as you were you still looking at him, you caught back to reality as you snapped out of your gazing state and went back to focusing on your work. As class was finally finished, you were about to get up and walk out of a room when all of a sudden you got tripped over, causing you to fall at the bottom of the stairs and dropping your stuff on the floor. Luckily enough you weren't hurt and that your friends were there to check up on you.
You turned around to look it was none other that your ex's new girlfriend. "Whoopsie, you should really watch where you were going before speeding ahead into dangerous territory". your friends were nearly about to go off at her until you asked her what her business was with you. "What the fuck is your problem with me", you said in a aggressive and frustrated state.
"My problem with you is that you have been nothing but a dirty little skank". You couldn't help but retaliate with someone even worse than what she had said there, "At least I'm not a homewrecker and a cheater, so really, who's the dirty little skank here you fucking hypocrite". You were about to go off at her even more until someone came in to stop the both of you.
It was Yuta...Of all people...
"Who the fuck do you think are you to stop me from smashing her head in", she retaliated in a aggressive yet uncontrollable state. "The same guy you cheated on with someone else you slut". And with that, the fight was shutdown immediately with what Yuta has just said there, causing everyone to go their own seperate paths, especially you and your friends.
After the fight, you and your friends went to go get some takeaway off campus with your free lunch time until next class. As you and your friends got your meal and were about to leave, you saw Yuta hanging near the stairs while also enjoying himself with some food. You were about to walk away until your friends convince you to say thank you to him for sticking up for you, but you didn't want to considering it was rude and impolite in your eyes.
But your friends didn't want to hear it and kept buggering you about it until you finally gave in, causing them to continue walking back onto campus and leaving you by yourself with Yuta. You were about to walk back to the campus and get your things together for next class, but Yuta spoke up again, "Hey", you stopped when he spoke, "Was wondering why I still haven't gotten a thank you from you and yet you were about to walk away", you turned around and faced him before he said to you, 'How rude".
You thought he might've have meant it sarcastically and was going to reply back with more sarcasm but you suddenly realised it wasn't sarcasm at all, he actually wanted to get a thank you from you.
"Sorry, I didn't know you wanted a thank you from me, and from what happened before".
"No worries, and besides, I liked seeing the cute expression on your face during that whole ordeal" he complimented with a light smile and you felt flustered and your cheeks flushed bright red at his words along with smile, it felt so healing to you for some reason, but you were still blushing like a tomato which was a little bit embarrassing in your eyes.
"Oh wow, didn't think I would make you blush and act so shy immediately, are you sure you're the same chick I saw earlier today during that mini fight", he said trying to sound more funny and more sarcastically than he usually did, "Haha, yeah it's the same chick you're talking to, But anyway thanks for standing up for me, it means a lot considering I haven't gotten much luck here ever since then".
"Why's that", Yuta asked with a intrigued yet little hint of concerned in his face. "Well, I also got cheated on my by ex, but the issue is that girl back there that started on me was the girl my ex cheated on me with. So it's a bit more awkward now considering we go to the same school, and it doesn't help that her little posse are also picking on me as well".
After Yuta has heard that, his facial expression changed completely as he showed a worried yet annoyed look, before looking at you directly in the eyes "I swear if anyone tries hurting or harassing you in any way, tell me and I'll break their legs for you". That was definitely one threat he made there, but you decided to take it lightly and joke instead.
"Well you're a bit too late for that", you said to him in a joking way but it seemed like he didn't like how you were joking about it. His face and overall tone was now different than the warm one you were actually getting used to since he was the first guy you started to talk to after your breakup.
He was more colder than before, but something about him being more colder was comforting for some reason, maybe he was also scared as well since he didn't mention the fact that the girl there who was harrasing you was his ex girlfriend, but he didn't want to push you further since it wasn't his story to share but yours, plus he doesn't want you to hate him because of it.
"Well I guess I gotta go or else I'd be late", you said to Yuta as you went to pack up your stuff and left to head back to campus considering the time was nearly close for your next class to begin, leaving Yuta behind by himself, which at first he didn't minded but as you started walking a bit more farther from him, he couldn't help but to follow you but not in a creepy way, more of so to see if anyone would pick on you after the whole ordeal.
And it turned out to be correct as while he was following you, he saw your ex in the same hallway as you, confronting you about why you haven't picked up his calls and text.
"Since when did I have to pick up your calls and text, last time I checked we broke up because you cheated me. And speaking of which, where's your new girlfriend, oh that's right, she's somewhere in one of these classrooms saying how I'm the slut who cheated on you when it's very clearly she's the one who deserves to be called it, not me".
As you finished saying that and proceeded to walk away, he begins to grab you by your arm to pull you back and slammed you against the back of the wall, causing you to let out noises of pain as a result. "WHO THE FUCK, DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO CALL HER A SLUT WHEN YOUVE BEEN SEEING MY FRIENDS BEHIND MY FUCKING BACK". You were shocked by what he just said there, you have never slept with anyone during your relationship, especially his own friends, you weren't even close to them enough to commit acts like that. You guessed the guys must've been asking him as to why he never told them that you were his girlfriend, which probably resulted in him lying about it.
"Jesus Christ, couldn't you be more scummier than you were before, I never even slept with your friends you liar, and I find it ironic since you're the cheater here you moron.", you said to him since you couldn't even believe it but after a while of repeating the words he just said in your head, it started to become useless since they weren't even true.
You tried your best to get out of his grip but it was no use since he was stronger than you. Yuta couldn't handle what he was seeing, if there was one thing he hated more than what happened to him, is when men get violent with women, "he doesn't even deserve to be called a man". Yuta said in his mind, and this called a fuse in him to snap, not only this was the guy that cheated on you with his ex, but he was also making himself more likely to receive the same treatment.
As you were about to close your eyes to protect yourself from your ex about to swing at you, you saw a trashbin being thrown at your ex's head, causing him to groan in pain but also making him more furious at the situation. "WHO THE FUCK DID THAT". as the situation grew bigger by causing people to head to where the noice and commotion was coming from, So did Yuta's blood for rage and vengeance for you.
"I did". Yuta said in a loud voice, Causing your ex to throw you onto the floor to proceed with this guy who got involved at the wrong time, at least in his eyes. As he kept getting more closer to Yuta, he was about to knock him out with a swing but to your surprise, he was stopped by Yuta as he not only dodged him swing but also got the upper hand as he sucker punched him right in the centre of your ex's face, causing him to fall on the floor.
This made your ex even more furious and more wanting to kill this guy even more than before, who the fuck was he and why was he even getting involved in you and his conversation. "Was this one of the guys you "slept" with" he thought to himself in his delusional mindset. He couldn't take it, so he got himself up quickly again to attract Yuta again, luckily for Yuta this wasn't much of a challenge.
So as the two faught intensely, your ex kept trying to swing and kick at him but Yuta kept dodging it no matter how much speed and force your ex was trying to put into the fight, he was a really good fighter though, he was strategic, fast and swift like a shadow, and most importantly, he stood his ground correctly.
For one final ending to this fight, your ex tried to kick him again but lucky for Yuta, he grabbed his leg and dragged it towards him, causing your ex to fall to the floor on his head. With the fight showing clear signs that Yuta was winning, He decided to go for a couple of swings on your ex's face, causing your ex's face to become mangled and swollen because of it.
With the fight now done and over, with your ex on the floor damaged but not fully, Yuta standing tall above it with some minor blood on his fists, the hallway erupted into chaos as students gathered around, their murmurs blending into a cacophony of shock and curiosity. You lay on the floor, a mix of fear and relief flooding through you as you watched Yuta stand tall, his eyes blazing with a fierce protectiveness that sent shivers down your spine.
Ignoring the growing commotion around them, Yuta turned to you and walked towards where you were, his expression softening with concern. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice a stark contrast to the forceful way he had just handled the situation. You nodded, still reeling from the adrenaline of the confrontation.
After Yuta helped you get up from the floor, you both tried to process what had just unfolded, with the teachers had arrived, witnessing you, Yuta and your ex's current state, who was now sporting a rapidly swelling bruise on his cheeks and eyes. Amidst the chaos, you caught Yuta's eye, a silent understanding passing between you. Despite the violence that had just occurred, you couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude towards Yuta for stepping in to protect you.
Yuta had told the teachers "what happened" because he didn't want you and him to get into trouble so the teachers had escorted your ex away, his woozy protests fading into the distance as the hallway slowly emptied, leaving you and Yuta standing in the aftermath of the confrontation, luckily the students surrounding the area before didn't rat Yuta in. Taking a deep breath, you turned to Yuta, a mix of emotions swirling inside you.
"Thank you," you whispered, your voice barely above a hush. Yuta's gaze softened even further, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Anytime," he replied, his tone gentle yet firm. As you both stood there, the weight of the moment hanging heavy in the air, you couldn't help but feel a newfound connection to Yuta. It was a connection forged in the heat of conflict, yet tinged with a sense of mutual understanding and respect.
With a final nod, you both silently acknowledged the unspoken bond that had formed between you. As you gathered your things and prepared to head back to class, a sense of uncertainty lingered in the air, but so did a glimmer of hope for what the future might hold. And as you walked side by side with Yuta, the echoes of the confrontation fading into the distance, you couldn't shake the feeling that this was just the beginning of something new.
With the school hallway still reverberating the aftermath of the confrontation, a tense energy hanging thick in the air as students whispered and exchanged shocked glances at the encounter that they witnessed during class. Some students were still confused about what happened; What exactly happened? what made these two want to fight each other, was it because of you, you already had enough rumours spreaded about you as it is, especially after all that it was a fight, nothing more than a fight.
Even though you and Yuta hadn't spoken much since the two of you were in different classes, you didn't seem threatening to the other students al all, and although it could've been the amount of attention they were paying you due to the already known rumours about you, they thought it appeared more as a show of force rather than a act of bravery.
After all, everyone was starting to suspect there might be something going on between Yuta and you, especially with the way he kept glancing at you during classes that some of the people noticed, was this the guy that you had allegedly cheated with.
But regardless, you didn't need to deal with more gossip about the fight, the rumours and having to constantly worry about being harassed were already enough as it was and you didn't need anything else added on top of that, so you tried your best to leave as quickly as you can since you didn't want more drama happening enough as there was.
But luck was not on your side today, as class was finished for the day, you were leaving class in a fast pace, getting past some of the other students in the hallway and nearly exited out the front door, you were pushed down onto the floor at the front entrance, causing you to land on your knees and making you drop your things yet again. You already know who it was and didn't want to deal with her so you tried to gather your things and get back up but she kicked you back onto the floor yet again.
"It seems like you just can't get enough of being the centre of attention huh". She said to you as she kept her foot underneath your back, causing you no choice but to stay still underneath her since all of her force is on your back. "What do you want", you finally asked, trying to sound strong yet weak at the same time and failing miserably as you felt yourself start to break under her attacks, even though you wanted nothing more but to get her off of you and make this stop.
"Oh come on Y/n, we both know you wouldn't do anything about me unless you knew it'll help yourself". She responded, still keeping pressure on your back to ensure that you won't move any time soon. What was she talking about? Help yourself with what? Did she mean with whatever that asshole ex of yours was saying to her about what was happening, or with the fact that you're currently in a public place? where she has the power to make more rumours about you.
If the first option she mentioned is true than there was nothing you can really do to change anything about it. And then there's that possibility she could be referring to the fact that she is going to do her best to hurt you, and you don't think you can take any more of this crap.
So, taking a deep breath you decided that whatever she said, you weren't going to let it happen . "If you want a fight with me over a guy that cheated on me with you, then so be it". The sudden turn of events prompted her to momentarily cease her offensive maneuver. Seizing the opportunity, you swiftly reached for her elevated heel, specifically targeting the sharp dagger-like appendage.
With unwavering determination, you exerted a powerful force, yanking the heel in your direction while taking the chance to quickly rolled out from underneath her, causing her to lose her balance even more and end up falling down on her hands and butt. You got up off of the ground and turned around to see her glaring furiously at you, her eyes flashing an indignant shade of red and her face contorted in anger.
"How dare you!" she screamed, spitting venomously at you as she struggled to get up. "Well maybe you should've have thought about it before you decided to bully someone else, who's ex is the same guy you cheated on your fucking ex boyfriend with." As soon as you said that, all the students were surprised but also confused as to what just happened, did they just found out that you're actually the victim here and not her.
She couldn't believe it, it was all falling apart, she couldn't allow you to win, she was the main woman, you're the other woman, she can't just lose that easily. "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU SLUT." she snapped back at you, getting up in a fast pace to charge at you to finish the job.
But all of a sudden, she was stopped in her tracks, and it was none other than Yuta, realizing who it was, she tried to escape but it was too late, as Yuta dragged her and threw her into the ground, causing the fight to stop.
The students looked on in horror as they realized the situation they had just witnessed.
"You bitch", she spat, pushing herself to a sitting position and pulling herself upright, "Don't forget who's the biggest slut, I'll fucking kill you." She growled menacingly, turning to face you, a crazed expression on her face, ready to attack.
Yuta sighed as he stared down at her, shaking his head in exasperation as she continued yelling insults at you and tried to crawl towards you. He raised his hand, signaling for the teachers to remove her, causing the rest of the crowd to panic.
But before the teachers could come get her, Yuta had decided to whisper something into her ear. "If you ever touch her again or start something like this ever again, I'll make sure she'll treat you like how I treated your boyfriend, you understand." he said into her ear, making sure that if this ever happened again, he'll make sure that you take care of her like how he took care of your ex.
As the teachers came to the area, everyone was wondering what you said was actually the truth, were you actually the victim in this and that she was the mistress and you weren't. They looked at you with pity and sympathy now instead of hate and disgust, which was their look now at her as the teachers hauled her away from you, dragging her somewhere in the school while she was kicking and screaming all over the place, maybe it was probably to a empty classroom as she needs to calm down, where as soon as she was calm, the teachers had told her that she is required in the principals office where she would have no choice but to acknowledge that she would be getting her punishment the next day.
Once the teachers were gone along with the students, Yuta stepped forward, placing himself directly in front of you. Your body went rigid as his dark orbs bore deeply into yours, watching you struggle to keep eye contact, knowing full well that it would only prolong the inevitable (or at least you thought that was the cause).
And then, he smiled. "You okay?". he asked in concern, placing his hands gently onto your shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze.
You nodded your head shakily, looking anywhere but in his eyes. "Yeah, I'm okay, Thanks for helping me out there last minute." You said as you attempted a smile, attempting to mask the nervousness and shyness that were clearly evident within your voice from looking at Yuta.
He gave one last glance at you, his gaze lingered longer on your lips than you anticipated, and as much as you wanted to push him away, your heart was telling you otherwise as a sudden wave of heat rushed across your cheeks, and before you could register it fully, he leaned closer to you, and proceeded to press his lips against your forehead which caused your heart to flutter and your cheeks flush at once.
Then without another word, he was walking off, disappearing in the distance without looking back. But you tried to catch up with him to stop him. The tension in the air seemed to dissipate as you caught up with Yuta near your car parked at the campus entrance. His tall frame stood out amidst the bustling surroundings, his presence both comforting and enigmatic. As you hesitantly called out to him, his steps faltered, turning to face you with a curious expression.
"Hey," you exclaimed, your voice wavering slightly as you tried to gather your thoughts. The weight of the recent events bore down on you, making this moment feel both crucial and delicate. You needed answers, closure, and perhaps a sense of understanding in the whirlwind of emotions that had engulfed you.
"Why did you help me out there and before?" you inquired, your words hanging in the air, laden with unspoken questions and emotions. Yuta remained silent for a beat, his dark eyes holding a myriad of unreadable emotions before he finally spoke.
"Because you didn't deserve any of that crap my ex was putting onto you, especially since I found out that you were not only in the same position, but also that my ex was your ex's mistress," his voice was firm, yet laced with a hint of regret and understanding. The revelation hit you like a tidal wave, crashing over your already tumultuous thoughts and feelings.
A mix of emotions swirled within you, a complex tapestry of anger, betrayal, and a strange sense of camaraderie with Yuta. The pieces of the puzzle seemed to fall into place, connecting the dots of the tangled relationships and deceit that had ensnared you.
As the truth settled in, a new layer of understanding unfolded, casting a different light on the recent events. You already knew that she was your ex's mistress but the realization that the woman who had caused you so much pain was also Yuta's ex added a profound layer of complexity to the situation. It was a revelation that brought a strange sense of solidarity between you and Yuta, a shared experience of betrayal and deceit.
"Thank you so much for Today Yuta, I really do appreciate it.", "Hey, it's no problem, I wasn't gonna let her do that shit to you, and at least you knew how to defend yourself there." He complimented you there on your fighting skills, making you genuinely smile. But before he left, you asked him for his phone number, in which he typed into your Phone. Now that way, you can contact and talk to him whenever you want to.
And with the two of you saying goodbye to each other, you let Yuta go back to what he was doing which was probably continuing walking back home since school is over today. And as he disappeared into the distance, you were walking back to your car which was parked near the campus entrance. As you got inside your car and drove off, you couldn't stop thinking back to what happened. The rush of emotions and adrenaline from the confrontation with your ex's new girlfriend and Yuta was still coursing through you, leaving you feeling a mix of anger, hurt, and confusion.
The streets were bustling with people going about their day, but your mind was elsewhere, replaying the heated exchange over and over again. You couldn't believe that someone would treat you as a dirtbag like that. The words echoed in your mind, stinging with their sharpness.
But even as you tried not to let what happened affect you, the weight of it all settled heavy on your chest. The betrayal from your ex, the confrontation with his new girlfriend, and the unexpected support from Yuta — it was a whirlwind of emotions that you weren't sure how to process.
The drive back home gave you some much-needed time to reflect. The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm glow over the city skyline. With each passing mile, you felt a sense of clarity washing over you.
By the time you pulled into your driveway, the tension in your shoulders had eased slightly. You knew that tomorrow would probably bring its own challenges, but for now, you were determined to face them head-on, armed with a newfound sense of self-assurance.
That night as you laid in your bed, staring into the darkness of the room as you tried to fall asleep and as soon as you did, you started to dream that you were in the city, walking by yourself as you were wearing a new bold outfit that was almost similar to Yuta style but was more on the feminine side.
And as you were continuing your walk, you stumbled into a guy and it was none other than Yuta, what was he doing in your dream, were you dreaming about him, I mean you couldn't help it, but it still felt a little bit different than before, like it felt right, it felt like it belonged here with you.
But you snapped out of it when Dream Yuta asked you a question. "You want a smoke.", he asked in a rockstar type of voice, you couldn't deny it since it was in a dream so you accepted it.
While you were still smoking with Yuta in your dream, you couldn't help but feel sort of something for Yuta, like you wanted to kiss him and....have sex with him or something. and as your cigarette was about to run out, Yuta offered you his, but before he did, he did one more puff before blowing smoke rings at you, which you didn't care about and grabbed the cigarette of his and smoked it. He started getting more close to you, to the point where both of your skin were too close for contact.
As you continued smoking your cigarette, he took the cigarette out of your mouth and threw it to the side, extinguishing it with his foot, and proceeded to pull you in for a hot and steamy kiss against the cold weather that was making its presence here. You two couldn't stop, and as it progressed more intensely, the two of you pulled away but not too far, as both of your eyes looked into each other, you couldn't help but appreciate every little detail about Yuta, and he did the same as well.
However, all good dreams must come to an end as your phone wakes you up, wondering why your phone would get a notification this late. only to realize it was a text from Yuta nonetheless. "You'd probably be asleep by now, sorry if I wake you up accidentally, I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place, I could use a little company, it's okay to text no if you don't want to."
You were surprised with Yuta's boldness, but you decided to text him back saying you'll be right over, and what will happen after that night will leave you conflicted, but overall surprised by how it turned out.
Hello everyone, I am back with new content, and I was thinking since I did a new rebranding, why not have the first story be about none other than the Nakamoto Yuta himself. But yeah, this is a story that's been in my development hell for a while since I had no idea what to do, but since I'm coming back, I decided to focus on this one as my comeback story. And btw, there'll be a part 2 to this one that will contain smut in it since it's been a while that I wrote something that contained smut in it.
But yeah, I'm glad to be back and creating more content and reviving old stories of mine that deserve to be seen by everyone, and I'm overall happy...but yeah, that is my little quick announcement, so there'll be a part 2 of this, happy to be back and don't forget to leave a like, a repost along with a comment either for requests or supports and my DMS are also open for requests as well and I see you guys later...bye....
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billthedrake · 2 years
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SOULMATES
I know you're never supposed to believe a married man when he says he'll leave his wife for you. But Tim Rogers was living with me when he said it. Actually living with me, day in, day out.
It wasn't like that at first. I'd met Tim at the exurban gym we both went to. The kind of place with lots of weekend dabblers in the weight room. Tim and I stuck out as the guys serious about lifting without being outright meatheads. We became workout buddies and hit it off.
Half the time we'd lift, and Tim would come over to my place after. We'd talk. When it wasn't sports or work shit, the guy would unload his problems, and I'd listen. Tim actually could have used a real therapist, but he didn't have the money for that shit, and even if he did he would have been too proud to go.
So I heard about his shitty marriage, and I'd suck his cock. Then he'd suck mine.
I wasn't closeted, but I wasn't actually out and proud either. That worked for the ex-baseball player, who felt more comfortable coming over. More comfortable kissing and making out. He asked me to take his cherry, so I did. Tim fucking loved that. The next night he made an excuse to come over and get fucked again.
I had a great body. Being a single, gym-obsessed gay dude will do that for you. Tall and well-proportioned. But I couldn't believe I was having sex with Tim on a regular basis. He worked construction jobs, and that kind of manual labor had a way of aging you, quick. But Tim was 26 and goddamn beautiful. Blue eyes, dark brown hair, killer smile, dimples. Muscle on muscle that even the ex-jock padding didn't hide. Incredible ass that I'd bone up looking at.
He stayed over at my place whenever he and his wife had a fight. They were fighting more. We called them Doghouse nights, but the fourth was the last. Tim never went back to his wife.
I'm a red-blooded man, horny as any, I guess, but I was unprepared for Tim's amped up sex drive. I was ten years older than him, so teased me for being an old man. But I don't remember having a libido like his in my 20s. I blew him a couple times a day to take the edge off. And in the evening, every evening, I fucked him in my bed. Our bed, now.
My name is Mark, but Tim called me Cleve, after my middle name. Mostly to tease me, but the nickname stuck as a pet name. I called him Six Gun, or Gunner, since I'd once gotten him to cum six times in 24 hours.
The divorce came, finally. I found out Tim had been dragging his heels to avoid alimony. I told him not to worry about a thing. He had a place to live, and I wasn't gonna charge him any goddamn rent. We celebrated the day the papers were finalized.
The man got in shape. I mean he already had that incredible ex-jock muscle amped up from hard work and the gym. But he lost the beefy thickness and slimmed down. I didn't care, I loved it either way. But he seemed happier, more thrilled with his body and the way I pawed at him.
I don't even know why I didn't realize we were more than live-in fuck buddies, but I was watching Tim make his egg-white omelet one morning and it hit me hard. I was in love with the man. Deeply, tragically in love with him, body and soul.
I started crying.
"Cleve, what the fuck?" he asked. Thinking something was wrong.
"I love you, Gunner," I managed to say.
His concern grew to a smile. "I love you, too, doofus," he grinned as he mock punched my shoulder. "Damn you look like a wuss when you cry," he teased.
"Asshole," I shot back playfully. I knew this was Tim's defense mechanism, and it actually made me laugh.
I stood up and our bodies met as we kissed. Tim's omelet would have to wait. We couldn't get back to the bedroom quick enough. A BJ wasn't gonna cut it. I lubed up, put those strong legs on my shoulders, and entered Tim as we locked eyes.
"Love you, Mark," he hissed as I breached him. "So much."
"God, Tim," I grunted. "Gonna be hard to hold back."
I meant with my orgasm, but Tim took it a different way. "Don't. Fuck me, Cleve. Fuck me hard."
I did. Almost exploratory thrusts to see if he meant it. That ex-baseball jock did. Taking my hard shoves deep into his guts and looking up at me with a silent plea for more. So I fucked rougher. It was intense for him, but just fueled his orgasm as he jerked that thick tool. I pounded to fuck the cum out of him, then pounded to get off myself. It took seconds.
It was the closest thing to make up sex, because Tim and I never fought. He said he'd had a lifetime's worth of fights with his ex, and didn't want any more.
To the outside world we were roommates. If that was the kind of thing that bothered me, I would have moved from our town years ago.
Tim said he missed sex with women sometimes. "If you ever want to Gunner, you should," I told him. "I'm serious," I added when he looked at me skeptically.
He did, a few times. Each time he came back home, quiet. He never talked about it but the next time we fucked he'd ask me to go hard. Eventually he no longer went on Tinder and no longer hooked up with anyone else.
I got used to taking charge of things. Finances, household stuff, setting up retirement savings for Tim. So I was surprised when Tim booked a vacation for us.
"It's our fifth anniversary," he beamed as he showed off the place he'd booked. Not only a gay resort in Palm Springs, but one of those clothing optional places. "Figured we could use a little getaway."
"Anniversary of what?" I asked.
He shrugged. "My divorce papers. At least that's when I stopped pretending."
I didn't realize Tim ever pretended. Then I didn't realize he'd ever stopped.
The vacation was incredible. It was our first time having sex with others. Yeah, a part of me was nervous, but my boyfriend loved showing off his body and being the attention of hot guys. He loved looking at me with a giddy, kid like expression as some muscle dude blew him. His enthusiasm was contagious.
We went back home feeling like something had changed, in a good way.
As much as I craved routine, I had to admit it was a way Tim and I didn't deal with things. But now we mixed it up. He took on more of the household chores, and I tried to be the one to come up with the fun ideas for date night. Tim started going down on me before work, as a surprise. I asked him if he ever wanted to top me. He did, and while he confessed he preferred being on bottom, occasionally we'd switch, or even better, flip.
We were two men who weren't in touch with our emotions. We still didn't know how to talk. We got used to each other's nonverbal way of talking. That's why I wasn't surprised when Tim blurted out what had been bottled up. Out of the blue, while we watching some baseball game.
"We gotta move, Cleve," he said. Frustration in his voice, but I knew it wasn't frustration at me. It was frustration at his life, this town. "I've done the numbers. We'll probably take a hit on the house, but we can make it work."
He looked at me in a challenge. Ready for Mr. Routine to dig his heels in. Or at least ask why.
But I goddamn well knew why. "Yeah," I said.
We didn't fight, but we argued about where. Tim hated the cold, and I hated the heat. Being in construction, he'd find work more easily than me. Besides, I wasn't close to my family, but I hesitated to move too far away.
In the end, I let Tim pick. I was in love with him, now more than ever. And at 31, he was still the most goddamn beautiful man I'd ever known.
We got excited making plans, talking about our future. Then, right there on the living room couch, we made out and fucked.
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khodorkovskaya · 2 years
Text
21.03.23
i remember this time around last year my friend from maths told me that she has "reverse" seasonal depression as in she gets depressed when it's spring/summer, instead of autumn/winter how it usually goes for most people. and i was baffled! how can you get depressed when days get longer, the sun gets warmer, trees start blooming, birds start singing, etc? in winter everything is dark and cold and gloomy, it makes sense to be a little depressed. but spring..?!
but this year i really feel her... ive been dreading the arrival of spring. because spring means warm weather and warm weather means going on walks and going on walks means going on walks with B. but this year there is no B. there's just me and my loneliness and my shitty nostalgia. and every time the sun shines a little too brightly or the birds sing a little too happily, i want to burst into tears. so all i want to do is stay inside and pretend it's still winter and im still in my comfortable warm cocoon because hey it's normal to stay inside and be alone when it's winter, right? but fuck. i go outside and want to kms.
this "reverse" seasonal depression thing has turned into paranoia. whenever im out and about in town, im constantly looking around myself, staring into the face of every passing stranger, convinced that i am going to bump into B. i can't sit still, i can't walk straight, no no no... i have to constantly be looking left and right, turning my head, always checking... and when i get a glimpse of some tall guy with dark hair or, worse, someone crouched on a bike, i get a manic adrenalin rush like oh my god it's him! but it's never him, of course.
what's worse is that that one lana song has gotten quite popular on instagram and it seems like every reel i watch has it. and that song takes me back to one particular moment with B.
every time i discover a new song i like, i listen to it on repeat until i get sick of it. and in spring of 2018 that song was "say yes to heaven". it already made me all teary eyed when i first heard it. there's something about it idk, it really touched me.
so it was the beginning of spring and B and i went for our usual walk in the countryside by the bridge. and we were talking about love and he started telling me about his ex. in a very neutral manner, nothing extraordinary, just like "this is how my first relationship went". and, sure, to him it felt like a story from the past. he was like what, 16 when it happened? and he was 29 when he was telling me about it. it was a typical first love story that everyone has, really nothing special. but to my teenage self it was the most heartbreaking thing i had ever experienced. i couldn't fathom the fact that B was my first love, but his first love was someone else.
i listened to his story, of course, and i was curious about it. her name was antoinette and they met at scouts. he seduced her by playing guitar. i don't know why but i had always imagined her with bright red hair. not as in ginger, but as in dyed cartoonish red hair. and a striped shirt with black skinny jeans. maybe it was because her name sounded so damn french that she absolutely had to have a stiped shirt in my imagination. but yeah, dyed red hair and bright red freckles. that was B's first love for me. when i came home that day, i listened to "say yes to heaven" and cried, imagining B being as innocently in love with her as i was with him, mourning the fact that he would never love me this way and how i could never be his first. and now whenever i hear that song, i think about 19 year old me crying and i want to cry again.
i later learned about B's other ex, meriç. this was a whole different story and at first i thought that it would be easier for me to digest. after all, they hadn't parted on good terms and B would often use her as a bad example. they were toxic, he said. but the more i thought about meriç, the worse i felt about myself. i couldn't get over the fact that B moved to turkey for her! and for me, well... i once mentioned the fact that i was thinking about going to another city for uni and B threw a tantrum. he would never sacrifice anything for me, i thought, he would never move to a different country for me. that meriç girl must've had something i didn't.
after giving it some thought, id made up my mind about meriç and drew a clear picture of her in my mind just like i had done with antoinette. my imaginary meriç was sexy. that's why he moved to turkey for her, i explained to myself. and toxic relationships are always extremely sexual, right? the whole fighting and making up and fucking thing. there's always a thrill, always a chase... men love that shit, right? meriç was exciting, feisty, sexually liberated. and when B would whine about me not wanting to do anal or being shy while giving him blowjobs, the thought of meriç would occupy my mind. she probably said yes to anal, i thought. she probably looked into his eyes while sucking his dick and im too fucking sexually useless to do any of this shit. that's why he moved to turkey for her and wouldn't want to move to a city that's 3 hours away for me.
and so there i was, the most boring and forgettable girlfriend. antoinette had the infatuation, the romance, the rush of first love. meriç had the thrill, the lust, the toxic passion. and me? well... no matter how many times B would tell me that i was the best he'd ever had, it would never get through to me. it frustrated me that we weren't on the same page. to me our relationship was exciting and firey and felt like destiny and i would get the strongest butterflies-in-my-stomach feeling while looking at him to the point of feeling intoxicated. and at the same time i would feel devastated and suicidal even when something would go wrong. it was full of ups and downs and crazy hormonal rushes. and to him it was his third serious relationship, calm and calculated, no hard feelings. "i feel so calm when im with you," he would tell me. and it felt like defeat.
i saw a picture of meriç once. i had to stalk her on facebook, of course i had! she looked quite similar to me actually, with a wave in her hair and full cheeks. at least that's what my bestie had pointed out because, of fucking course, i showed her the picture. it was only years later that B had told me that him and meriç had no sexual chemistry and it was quite frustrating. and maybe he lied, but i wish 19 year old me would've known that. she's married now. and so is antoinette. she has a daughter i think? or two. i don't know. but they've moved on. and i will move on from B. and he'll probably tell his next girlfriend about me. or not. who knows what he would say. and what she will think. will she imagine me with red hair and freckles? who knows.
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lex-play · 1 year
Text
Light My Soul on Fire pt 6
~*~
It hadn’t taken Izuku long to go through all of the glass, and he would be embarrassed if not for how much Katsuki had been pushing him.
“Don’t even get me started on the awful creative design professor I had in my first year of college,” Izuku said. He’d already ranted about Monoma, some of his fake friends, and his piece of shit sperm donor, now he’d gotten to his teachers.
“Are you still in college?”
“Yeah, art school. I’m double majoring in graphic design so that I have a practical degree to fall back on.”
Katsuki hummed and picked up a porcelain figure of a duck.
“What made that professor so shitty?” He tossed Izuku the duck and laughed when it fell between his outstretched hands and shattered on the concrete.
Izuku pouted and snatched another small porcelain figure off of the table.
“He would draw on our work to make corrections.” Izuku glared at the cherub in his hand like it was the professor in question. “In red marker.”
He threw the porcelain at the wall as hard as he could.
“I started turning in photocopies of my work, and I told him why very loudly when he asked me about it.”
Katsuki cackled and picked up another figure to throw.
“When I presented, the doctor told my parents that I was a ticking time bomb,” Katsuki said. Izuku turned to him with wide eyes. He’d been sure Katsuki was an alpha, but…
“Enigmas aren’t really necessary in today’s society,” Katsuki continued, eyes locked straight ahead. “Our instincts are too strong and being able to command all the other dynamics fucking scares people,” Katsuki snorted and threw the figure.
“Yeah,” Izuku sighed. “I’ve got a friend who presented Enigma shortly after we met. It made me really mad to see how people treated him when they found out.”
Katsuki looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
“The friend with the terrible ex, actually. That was one of the reasons he claimed Hitoshi was cheating, because enigmas historically had harems so obviously Hitoshi was biologically engineered to need multiple partners,” Izuku sneered.
Katsuki snorted. “Yeah I’ve heard that shit before.”
“Bigots are stupid,” Izuku said. He reached for another piece of porcelain and realized everything was gone. “Oh. Does this mean we’re done?”
He turned around to see Katsuki offering him a bat with a grin. “There’s still plenty of shit to be smashed, nerd.”
Izuku grinned back automatically and took it.
~*~
By the time everything was shattered or dented, Katsuki was exhausted and starving. Izuku had surprised him. The little omega clearly had a hidden feral side and some pent up rage he’d needed to work out, and the grin on his face as he swung the bat was… surprisingly attractive.
Katsuki had always known he preferred the stronger, more wild type. He’d honestly thought his attraction to the small, frail looking omega had been either a fluke or his enigma wanting to go after a different kind of person than normal.
That manic expression on the omega’s face clearly showed Katsuki that his enigma liked what it liked, even if it wasn’t always obvious.
“Hungry?” He asked the omega as they left SmashBang.
Izuku looked refreshed, if a bit tired and sweaty, and Katsuki fought his mind to stay out of the gutter. He really wanted to know if the little omega would look like this after-
“Yeah, actually I’m starving,” Izuku said, snapping Katsuki out of the filthy direction his thoughts wanted to take.
“Then let’s get some food in you.”
~*~
“I’m surprised you told me about being an enigma so soon after meeting,” Izuku said around a mouthful of fish.
Katsuki was surprised at himself too, but he wouldn’t admit to that.
“It’s easier to get it over with early. That way I’m not like, invested or whatever if you turned out to be a dickbag.”
Izuku made a little “ah,” sound as he took another bite.
“That makes sense.”
Thankfully, it did. It was also partially true. Katsuki just usually would have waited until the end of the date to drop that particular bomb. But Katsuki’s enigma felt extremely comfortable with Izuku, damn near belly up with contentment. It was fucking disconcerting, if he was being honest.
Katsuki was always on guard with people at first, always cautious, and his enigma took even longer to warm up, but it was like something about Izuku broke through all of his defenses.
The rest of their date went smoothly. They chatted about lighter topics and learned more about each other. Katsuki tried to make Izuku laugh as often as he could throughout the evening. Izuku’s laugh was beautiful and contagious and Katsuki wanted to hear every hour of every day. By the time he walked Izuku up to his door, Katsuki was sure his own smile was permanently etched onto his face.
He’d surely scare the shit out of his coworkers the next day because he was sure he wouldn’t be able to get rid of it before work.
“I had a lot of fun, Katsuki,” Izuku said. He smiled up at Katsuki and this time Katsuki did squint a little.
“I did too. You’re not what I expected, in the best fucking way,” Katsuki felt his face heat but he didn’t look away from Izuku.
Izuku looked down bashfully and tapped his toe lightly on the ground. “Hopefully we can do it again soon?”
“Definitely,” Katsuki agreed, relieved and happy that Izuku wanted to see him again. He took a small step forward and reached up to cup the omega’s cheek lightly. Izuku looked up at him in surprise. “Can I kiss you?”
Izuku nodded and Katsuki leaned down to press their mouths together softly. Katsuki trailed the hand on Izuku’s cheek around to cup the back of his head and hold him close. Izuku sighed, lips parting and Katsuki took advantage, tracing his tongue along the seam of Izuku’s lips.
Katsuki had kissed people before, he knew he had. He’d kissed and been kissed more than once, but kissing Izuku made him forget anyone who’d come before him. Izuku grabbed Katsuki’s shirt and parted his lips wider, sliding his tongue out to meet Katsuki’s, and the enigma’s mind lit up with desire. He wrapped his free arm around Izuku’s back and pulled him so their bodies were flush together and tangled his fingers in green curls, a growl rumbling in his chest. Izuku whined and reached up to wrap his arms around Katsuki’s neck, standing on his tiptoes to get closer.
Katsuki wanted to kiss him forever. Wanted to press him back against the door, hike one of those thick thighs up over his waist and rut between his legs until he got to see what the little nerd’s face looked like when he came and he flooded his legging with slick. He wanted both of those thighs around his head as he ate the omega’s pussy until he came on his lips. Wanted to give him all the pleasure he could handle and then a little more just for good measure. His self control slipped a little and he reached down with the hand around Izuku to squeeze that juicy ass that had been teasing him all evening.
Izuku gasped, pulling back from the kiss as he lifted one leg just a little, hips jerking forward into Katsuki.
“Ka-Ka-Kacchan!”
“Fuck,” Katsuki groaned. He pressed his face into Izuku’s neck and took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down a bit while Izuku panted in his ear, seemingly doing the same. He didn’t want to push Izuku too much, too fast. He actually really liked the fiery little omega and he didn’t want to give him the impression that Katsuki just wanted to get his knot wet.
“Sorry,” Katsuki said. “Got carried away. I don’t want to fucking rush you or anything.”
Izuku’s breathing slowed and he dropped to his heels, head sliding down to rest against Katsuki’s chest.
“You’re sweet, Kacchan,” he said, a bit timidly, clearly testing out the nickname.
“That’s a secret, nerd.”
Katsuki kissed the side of his head and took a small step back, allowing cool air to rush between them. It helped clear his head a bit more.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Katsuki said with a small smile.
“Text me when you get home?” Izuku asked and Katsuki nodded.
He waited for Izuku to unlock his door and step inside, and just as Katsuki had turned to leave, Izuku’s voice came once more from behind him.
“I’m planning our next date, Kacchan.”
Katsuki couldn’t wait.
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justmenoworries · 2 years
Text
New HB teasers mean new theories from me!
Yaayyy!
So I’m theorizing that the next episode is gonna be a Moxxie-backstory. Possibly revolving around how he met both Blitzo and Millie.
Analyzing the teaser gifs one by one also gives us a pretty good idea what to expect.
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First things first: I think this is Moxxie’s dad. We don’t see the guy’s face, but he has the same clothing style and is smoking a cigar in a pretty stereotypical absent dad fashion. Everybody in Hell having shitty parents is a running theme in the show, so Moxxie Sr. keeping up the trend doesn’t seem too far-fetched.
Then again, in the pilot Moxxie refers to a dream he had of his parents being murdered (”parents”, plural, meaning both of his guardians) as a nightmare, so maybe their relationship is more strained than outright bad.
Still, the way he’s framed in this shot as turned away, dismissive and preoccupied makes me believe he wasn’t exactly Parent of the Year.
Another interesting thing: In “The Harvest Moon Festival”, Blitzo mentions that Moxxie was born in the Wrath Ring, but if this is a shot of Moxxie’s parents’ home, it doesn’t look like Wrath at all. For one, the color scheme is all different: Green and black instead of red and orange. Plus. Wrath is more of a country area, more rural. This looks like it takes place inside a manor.
Was Moxxie’s family some kind of landed gentry? Not gonna lie, Moxxie being a sheltered rich kid would explain a lot. He seems a lot more cultured and well-read than the other Wrath-imps. (Plus, it would explain why he falls so hard for people who are wild and unhinged. Probably an exciting change from having stuffy uptight rich people all around you.)
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And here we have the guy from the season 2 teaser! Fully animated and in color. By this point it’s pretty much confirmed that he’s Moxxie’s ex. We also got a name: Chaz.
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So, seeing as Chaz is telling Moxxie to pretend like it’s a salesman at the door, it’s probably safe to say that Moxxie’s dad didn’t approve of the relationship. It could just be classism (Chaz doesn’t seem like he’s part of Hell’s upper class, his clothing and appearance are pretty shabby) but to be fair, it only takes one look at Chaz to gather he’s bad news. Just about everything in his design screams “shady af, do not trust”.
We know from the season 2 teaser trailer  (timestamp: 0:24 - 0:26) that he convinced Moxxie to do at least one robbery, which Moxxie was deepy uncomfortable with, but went along with anyway, presumably because he didn’t want to disappoint Chaz. And to no one’s surprise, it appears to have gone horribly wrong.
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Which brings us to the next gif.
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I think this is the first time Moxxie and Blitzo met.
Seeing the stroyboards, it’s easy to tell that the robbery didn’t go well and Moxxie was most likely arrested and thrown in jail.
The tail disappearing into the lower bunk is very likely Moxxie’s. My guess is that Blitzo started the conversation here, probably asking something like “So, what are you in for?”
And the rest is history.
I also think that Chaz threw Moxxie under the bus to get away. He’s nowhere to be seen in this gif. Of course he could just be out of frame or in another cell, but with all we’ve seens so far it’s way more likely that he dumped Moxxie to save his own skin. That would also leave Moxxie in an emotionally raw and vulnerable state. Perfect for Blitzo to cut in and invite him to his new assassination business, presumably after hearing that Moxxie is pretty good with guns and firearms.
It would also serve as a foundation for Moxxie’s more cynical personaility in the present. Your (mabye even first) boyfriend stabbing you in the back and leaving you to face the heat all by yourself is a pretty hefty cynicism catalyst, I’d say.
And last but not least:
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It’s Millie and she’s pissed.
Now what could have gotten her so riled up, I wonder. Well, what’s the one thing guaranteed to make Millie go apeshit?
Hurting Moxxie or putting Moxxie in danger.
It’s no wonder she wouldn’t like Chaz, Moxxie probably told her about the whole robbery-thing.
Interesting thing to note here: The person Millie is yelling at in this scene is Chaz. Pay attention to the frame before the zoom-in on Millie’s face: That’s Chaz’ suit. It has the same bone-pattern and the heights match.
So my speculation here is: This episode won’t just be purely flashback, it’s gonna be interspersed with a present-day plot.
I think what’s gonna go down is: Chaz reappears in Moxxie’s life and asks him for help with something that’s probably, most likely, definitely illegal and dangerous.
Moxxie, who is way too kind-hearted for his own good agrees, despite knowing deep down that Chaz shouldn’t be trusted.
Predictably, things go wrong again.
And surprisingly, Chaz doesn’t leave Moxxie to fend for himself like last time, but seeks out Moxxie’s friends and wife for help.
And Millie is of course none too thrilled that Chaz pulled her husband into his bullshit. Again.
I’m not sure what’d happen afterwards, but that’s what I got so far.
Can’t wait for 2023 relase to make this age like milk, lol.
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➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖
Chapter 44 - Entering Kris.
Episode 4.
Andy: He massaged the foot for at least 10 minutes, then switched to the other one, and by the time both Kris's feet seemed to have gotten heat, Kris had already placed another empty can on the table and was by now almost laying completely in the couch, looking more than done…. but this time in a more relaxed and positive way. So he opened another beer for himself, sipping it slowly when suddenly Kris burst out an unexpected info
Kris: I'm gay!
Andy: He coughed on his beer and accidentally spat some of it out as he nearly choked on it What?!
Kris: I'm sorry! he sat up quickly and looked at Andy with a soft frown
Andy: Warn people when they drink please! he chuckled hoarsely
Kris: I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that! Fuck! he suddenly frowned deeper and shook his head I can't believe I said that!
Andy: He chuckled again it's completely fine I just wish you had waited till I was done sipping my beer! a soft snort escaping him, then he noticed how Kris's body had changed again, undoubtedly anxious yet again, as he seemed all tense and hunched Hey, it's okay, I'm just joking…
Kris: he shook his head in disbelief I've never told anyone!
Andy: …….. you're…. in the closet….
Kris: He nodded tensely and gasped for air as he quickly scooted forwards in the couch and grabbed a third beer, drinking it all in one go, anxiously rubbing his hands as he sat quietly, trying to process the moment
Andy: …. can I ask you a question?
Kris: Yes! it flew out of him, eager for Andy to break the silence
Andy: Does your girlfriend know?… I mean ex…
Kris: Yes… that's why we broke it… I uh… yeah… I had a crush on one of our room mates… uh… and yeah… uh… I told him and he wasn't into it…. and told her and I made an excuse I was just drunk and talking shit and… yeah… he says it's all forgiven and he doesn't mind, he knows I'm straight and wasn't coming onto him, but he still takes a certain distance now… like trying not to be alone with me for too long… and she is mostly in denial I guess, I mean who can blame her? We were together for years and her boyfriend was gay… yeah… that has to be shitty… but I think deep down she knows…
Andy: …. so you have uh…. never had sex then?…
Kris: He looked at Andy with a confused frown
Andy: I mean if you haven't been with her, and you are in the closet…
Kris: …….. oh… no… I've been with a couple guys in the past… that was the whole thing I was running from when I met her.
Andy: Oh… ah okay… I see… I've known a couple guys who has been with girls and was closeted and never had been with a guy before… and they always told me it wasn't as hard as one would think, cause… well… as much as they wanted to be with a guy, they didn't quite know what they were missing out on, you know? But I guess it's different from person to person… I used to be closeted to the point where I completely denied my own sexuality… most of my life actually… it wasn't until 2014 I finally realised it and came out.
Kris: Oh…. he nodded slow …. so we have a lot in common?
Andy: He forced a soft smile it appears so….
Kris: I think it's pretty hard… knowing what I could have… and have none… for years… other than a couple one night stands here and there… and the occasional blow or handjob…
Andy: From a girl…
Kris: Yeah he sighed soft
Andy: Was it a relationship you ran from or sexuality?
Kris: Both… he was my first and only boyfriend… I had been with a couple guys before him, but then met this really great guy, fell in love and yeah… he was closeted too, so we told people we were roomies… it was fine, no ones business anyway, right? But then one day I came home and he was fucking someone else… another guy… a business partner and yeah, it turned out they had been seeing each other all along, and he didn't really love me, I was just convenient, cause I wanted to live with him… filling a void the other guy couldn't cause he was married.
Andy: Ouch…
Kris: yeah he sighed soft
Andy: ……. so what do you do when you…. get urges… you talked about cheating?
Kris: only twice… no 3 times… he sighed deep it's bad enough, I know…
Andy: Hey… not gonna judge as I said, I've done my own bit of cheating…
Kris: He sighed soft again and nervously fiddled with the blanket, feeling a heat rise in his body, suddenly feeling the alcohol
Andy: What else do you do? You've just learned to go without or?
Kris: I ghost hunt
Andy: He laughed warmly
Kris: He looked at Andy with a serious look
Andy: Oh… you mean it?… oh…
Kris: He shrugged lightly I mean if you believe in it.
Andy: I do… I've done a couple of times myself…
Kris: …..
Andy: How did you get into that?
Kris: Roomies… 2 of them are professional ghost hunters.. if you
Andy: Believe in that he chuckled softly alright… okay… so you ghost hunt to get your mind off urges… he nodded slowly
Kris: He grunted softly and looked around a bit nervous and lost as he felt the alcohol taking over, making him extra drowsy and slightly dizzy
Andy: Are you okay?
Kris: Yeah… I uh…he chuckled awkwardly and stood up I need to pee… I don't usually get drunk from 3 beers… I guess it's the lack of sleep?
Andy: He smiled softly and sipped his own Well that and you seem a bit stressed out and you drank pretty fast… all those things can definitely play a factor.
Kris: Yeah he nodded lightly I'll uh… be right back…
Andy: Sure he leaned back, watching the screen, sipping his beer casually, but as soon as Kris disappeared into the bathroom, he had to bite his knuckle Oh my fucking gawd!!!
Kris: Fuck fuck fuck fuck! he rushed to the sink, splashing some cold water in his face, then went to pee
Andy: He shook his head lightly as his dick lightly twitched No, absolutely not! That's not why I brought him home at all, and he seems pretty vulnerable! Right now he needs a friend, and that's what we're going to be! Nothing more, nothing less! Got it?! He quickly washed down the rest of his beer and crawled under the blanket, still sitting up as Kris entered the room again Hey he smiled warmly You alright?
Kris: Yeah he nodded lightly and hurried back to the couch, quickly getting under the blanket as well, observing Andy for a moment, before he laid down completely this time
Andy: …. is there… anything you want to say…. or do…. I mean…. you looked at me like-
Kris: No, I just wondered why you're so nice to me… and why our paths crossed… and why I'm here…. and why you give me this warm kind treatment that makes everything warm inside me when people I live with can't he shook his head and disappeared under the blanket, as he sniffled his nose
Andy: He sighed softly and laid down as well, easily reaching Kris's legs, gently rubbing them Hey he spoke in a soft voice You don't have to hide from me… there's nothing wrong with crying, at all…
Kris: …. a soft sob escaping him
Andy: It's okay, he slowly started caressing Kris's legs instead out of pure reflex, wanting to calm the hurting person
Kris: He only started crying harder, feeling overwhelmed with the kindness and the fact that someone was actually touching him in a pleasant way. Last time he had been with anyone, the person had acted as if Kris was dirty and ended up beating him up for being gay. And suddenly the repressed memories and his own loneliness and need for a gentle touch just like Andy seemed to so easily provide, rained down on him and made him gasp for air, as a panic attack made him shoot up from the couch, standing stiff on the floor in front of the screen, starring blank a the table
Andy: Kris? He slowly got up as well, observing the guy What's going on?
Kris: Now hyperventilating I'm sorry, I can't, I-
Andy: Okay he got it immediately Okay… come, sit down with me again and take a deep breath
Kris: I can't I! I need air!! I- he kinda flopped his arms in all directions then bend forwards as his sobbing turned deep and full of pain
Andy: Shit he slowly reached out, stroking Kris's back gently
Kris: No! he quickly took a few steps away I'm sorry I shouldn't have come here! You're so nice, but I'm not used to it at all.. I uh you're so sweet and it's exactly what I need but it's too much… all the nice touching and you sound like you care
Andy: I do care
Kris: How??! You don't even know me! How can you care when the people I live with can't even bother if I'm alive or dead
Andy: Please don't say that, I'm sure they-
Kris: No! They really don't Andy. I cut my wrist a month ago, it wasn't THAT bad… but bad enough… no one even bothered to go with me to the hospital… what if I would have fainted on the way?!?! His crying turned almost desperate, a few whimpers here and there as he started rubbing his hands nervously please don't think I'm some fucking nutcase! I'm not I just am so fucking exhausted of this life, but I really don't want to die at all! I swear! I just want someone to fucking notice how much I am fucking drowning, and I don't know?!? Hand me a fucking stick!
Andy: Hey he quickly stepped closer to Kris, dragging his own sleeves up, then turned his wrists inside out, revealing his own scars to Kris I wont judge, remember? And I don't want to die either! There are moments where all hope is out and the pain becomes so strong, I do want to die, but only in those moments… only in those moments of pure despair. I don't actually want to die… at all. I am terrified of dying as a a matter of fact, and I love being alive!
Kris: He nodded agreeing and wiped his hand over his nose, stepping nervously on the spot
Andy: What do you need? Tell me, please? You look like you desperately need a hug, but honestly… I don't know what to do right now cause you also made it clear I seem to overwhelm you at the same time, which wasn't my intention at all. I don't want to step over any lines here, Kris… I like you and I don't want to scare you away… is that too much? I know we just met, but there's something about you… you know… you can sometimes get a feeling about people pretty quickly, and I have a very good feeling about you… and again, that's coming from someone with social anxiety… I mean… it's rare I like people THAT quick….
Kris: He nodded agreeing Me too he sniffled his nose, looking at the floor I uh… I…. I would like if…. he took a deep shaky breath I would like if you could hu- his voice broke
Andy: he quickly reached out, wrapping his arms tight around Kris, stroking his back gently Is this okay? he spoke in a warm, caring tone
Kris: He nodded soft against Andy's shoulder, digging his fingers into Andy's back
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gameclam · 1 year
Note
Barmey and Mind's relationship headcanons 👀👀 (same guy sorry)
thisll be a mix of their relationship + past relationships
Freemind's will mention Eddie, bc of this i will say my Eddie =/= Eddie's mind Eddie, idk shit abt that one, my Eddie is based entirely off of the stories Fm told in his canon story. (just so ppl dont get confused or something)
Barmey's relationships;
He tends to date people he met online in mmo's, most of the time he doesn't actually have a thing for them tho bc he didnt know he was gay for far too long
he's still friends with his old GF from high school, they broke up in college bc he felt like they were better friends, she was an exchange student and was the most popular girl in school. If he told you this you would probably not believe him.
Thought relationships were supposed to be awkward for the entire relationship
Never realizes anyone is flirting with him, if he does notice anything he thinks they're joking
had less relationships in elementary -> high school (until he met his gf) bc he was one of the only trans guys in the entire shitty Arizona town no one wanted to date him. and if they did he wouldn't have even noticed tbh
The only time he started REALLY questioning his sexuality was when he met Freemind in college but just assumed that he just thought he was really cool
Now that they're dating he finally realizes why people want to kiss and stuff. he thought ppl just over hyped relationship stuff
you might be surprised but he's the top in this relationship
Will literally jump to tell anyone everything abt his boyfriend even if it's what everyone sees as 100 red flag stories in a row
Very easy to make jealous but he tries to not be weird about it most of the time
literally trapped in the honey moon phase for the rest of their lives
once as a romantic gesture he made an entire rube goldberg machine throughout their entire apartment that ended with a box of banana laffy taffy dropping onto Freemind's bed. literally Freemind will bring this up to everyone
desperately tries to win prizes for his bf at fairs or amusement parks but always fails. he fucking sucks at them bc he gets nervous. If absolutely no one is looking at him he would get a perfect score
he is a little bit better at showing his affection than Freemind is
He's not had many bad relationships or anything, mostly bc he doesn't often go on dates with people. (dating regularly bothered him bc to cut time out of his schedule)
When he has tried dating Often people think he's kind of cringy or annoying bc of his very specific interests so they never clicked.
Freemind's Relationships;
Freemind has not so good luck with people, his past relationships never lasted that long for one reason or another.
He tends to be very bad at figuring out when people are into him or completely hate him. He often reads it completely wrong (Someone who doesn't like him = they want him, someone who obviously wants him = wants to kill him)
Similar to Barmey he didn't have much dating luck as a young guy bc he was trans + an actual lunatic. Plus he looked like a nerd for most of his years until he started his punk phase when he was 15. His town wasn't as small as Barmey's so they didnt know anyone (he lives in a town CLOSE but not IN Seattle in most of my headcanons. I have no reason why this is different. sometimes he does live there tho depends on the day for me)
Despite talking a big game he has a lot of trouble flirting with girls first bc they scare him, bc of this he tends to only get flirty when they flirt with him first bc he's too intimidated to actually do anything
he has gotten pepper sprayed before, not for anything serious he just has absolutely 0 luck. Once it was because his ex gf was mad that he made a pipe bomb in her garage and once it's bc some stranger mistook him for someone else when he went to talk to her. He was also tazed once but that was bc he lost a bet with his gf at the time
He dated ONE normal person exactly one time and it was the weirdest relationship he'd ever been in. He would literally rather date someone who slashes his tires bc he forgot their birthday over someone who's favorite hobby is going on hikes. Never again
Tends to prefer flings over actual relationships
made out with like 50 different dudes in college and still didn't realize he was bisexual until he was living in New Mexico (this depends on the au i'm thinking of bc sometimes he been knew and sometimes he doesn't) He thought this was just normal college shenanigans
He also gets jealous like Barmey does. They are mutually jealous ppl when it comes to eachother.
Eddie is his drug deal and best friend from high school, depending on universe he slept with him or fooled around w/ him at least once. But they have no romantic feelings for each other, just mutual attraction.
Freemind tends to date girls who want to burn down peoples houses and crash cars. Sometimes this is fine sometimes it isn't. He prefers punks + goth/emo + weird girls, he prefers fatter girls who are tall but any height and body type he can find attractive.
As for men, he prefers guys who are dumb as a bag of rocks and infuriating OR absolutely batshit crazy or both. He tends to prefer Fatter tall men. but any height and body type he can find attractive.
Was that guy who refused to say "I love you" in like every single relationship he was ever in, his relationships were often mutually unhealthy.
However there was the rare moment where he would become absolutely infatuated with someone bc they were perceived 'better' by his mental illness. If they broke up he would either immediately hate them or spiral into thinking he's the worst person alive. This happened once while he was dating a girl who cheated on him, after their breakup he spiraled.
Now that he's dating Barmey he has to learn how to love and be affectionate like a most people. The best way for him to do this is to randomly gift Barmey things that he knows he likes. (like a "Look i thought about and remember the thing you like.")
He does a lot of cooking specifically for Barmey bc although he doesn't like cooking that much he's good at it and it's better than the garbage Barmey eats nearly daily . This is another sign of affection bc usually he wouldn't care.
^ in the same vein, another form/proof of love is that Barmey can be in the kitchen while he cooks, which is crazy bc usually Freemind absolutely despises when people are in the kitchen with him when he cooks bc it overwhelms him. But not Barmey :)
Is not normal about asking for cuddle time he will enter the room and just stare at Barmey until he notices him or sit very very close to him until Barmey initiates like a damn cat. Luckily Barmey usually does.
He WILL however initiate holding his hands constantly. it's one of his favorite forms of affection when they're outside together. He also likes putting his arm around him while walking.
Freemind parades Barmey around like Barmey is his trophy husband. He would actually attack you if you said anything rude to Barmey right in front of him.
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trying2cope · 2 months
Text
It took me a year to find him.
I searched different internet BDSM sites. After my horrible failed vanilla marriage I'd sought therapy and realized that the inner sub I'd repressed had never gone away. I had put up with my now ex husband's crappy behavior because I was unconsciously submitting to him, but it got worse and worse and more toxic and abusive. So I felt if I was going to have a healthy marriage in the future I would have to be the sub I know I am.
Hunting online for my future Master husband kept me sane as I tried to live my new life as a single mom with two traumatized culture shocked kids. The divorce had involved an international move.
I found him in January. He was one of many Doms who answered my personal on a "Let's Get Married and Breed" sub forum. I know, romantic. But I liked that it specified the marriage first part, so it wasn't just for the kinksters who like anonymous breeding. That's not me at all. I'm deeply monogamous.
I only had two sexual partners prior. Sexual partners meaning their male member had entered one of my holes. The first was my Master when I was 18-19. He had my mouth and ass. But I told him I was saving my v for marriage and he respected that. Truthfully I only went that far with him because I intended to marry him. When we broke up I was devastated-- even though I was the one who had done it. I had started having feelings for someone else, too, and it confused the hell out of me. I spiraled, mental health wise, into reckless and destructive behavior. Thankfully my "temporary insanity" only lasted a few months, but it was enough.
I was growing in my faith and when I got my sanity back decided that all sex was sex and no loopholes. I'd save it all for marriage again. And I did. I found my now ex husband on a Christian dating site instead of a bdsm one. I'd hoped he'd be a little kinky but he wasn't. Our sex life was never very satisfying. I want sex multiple times a day. He was content with once or twice a month. I have never really been sexually satisfied.
So when my marriage ended in his cheating and dishonesty and mental abuse, I decided a few things. My next man would be a Dom. I needed a man with high libido. He needed to be safe around my kids of course. I wanted a man who wanted more children. And I wasn't going to wait for marriage this time.
I felt a little bad about that. I love God and I don't want to sin. But I also knew the kind of man I want, with the libido I want, wouldn't be celibate.
When my eldest kid realized I was thinking about dating she made me promise her whoever I dated would "love Jesus, kids, and cats".
And when I met him, he checked all the boxes.
We talked online for 6 weeks and then he suggested we meet in person. We did and it was amazing. I could not resist him. I melted in his presence. It was magical, like he held the key to me and every other man, even my ex husband, had only ever picked the lock.
I asked him to be my Master and my boyfriend and he agreed fervently as we made out. I let him into my body that night and quickly we fell madly in love with each other. "You're so sweet to me," he kept saying when I'd just be myself. It made me happy but also sad he'd ever been treated shitty.
He was a single parent too, he has a toddler daughter. He came to me, when she was with her mom, so while he met my kids I hadn't yet gotten to meet her.
And that's where I'll end this post for now.
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A bit of context for this one, I've only been on 2 relationships, the first one listed a year and seven months, she was my first kiss and all things considered it was s nice relationship until it wasn't, she cheated on me and we haven't spoke in years, fun times. The other one is my current relationship, we've been together for over 5 years and I honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with her. The thing is, sure, I've missed my ex a few times, who hasn't? She was my best friend at the time and losing that was really shitty, what i don't get is why I get random bouts of nostalgia about this friend I had for a couple years on my first year of uni, that same semester we became friends, i for dumped, we stopped being friends, and I met my girlfriend, maybe it's because i can still see how breaking up with my ex was for the better on the long run, at that point our relationship depended on supporting each other through our personal issues, so without those issues there wasn't much of a relationship to have, so we kept our issues going for far longer than we should have, but this other girl, I'm still not entirely sure what happened, the most obvious thing is that I didn't know how awful I was at group proyects at the time, so by the end of the semester i think how i was regarding that would have been enough for her to hate me, I still regret putting her trough that, I've gotten much better at group projects, but she probably suffered me at my worse. The other major thing is that i think we had q crush on each other... we both broke up during our first year at uni, and werw petty heartbroken during most of our friendship, she was really cute, and I know for a fact that she thought I was cute too, i think she got a bit heartbroken when I started dating someone else, and I think I was too, it always felt like we couldn't get closer because we'd be an obvious rebound couple and we didn't want that as a foundation for a relationship, but I still wonder what could have been, I really wish I could tell her how sorry I am, I haven't heard for her in years, and I know it sounds bad, but I promise these are the only two people that have ghosted me like this, anyways, my train is arriving so I gotta go
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