#that wall in the first pic was loooooong

[catboyrightsdefender]

remnants from the war in the dunes between france and belgium

[emwritesfootball]

Holiday Threesome | Tyrone Mings and Harry Winks

okay I can't stop thinking about threesome with Mings and Winks. what do you say about this: you and harry going on holiday with your friends and harry sees on instagram that mings is in the same place as you and he wants to catch up with him so you all meet up. it's the first time you actually met him, you knew who he was and harry talked a few times about him since they're close. with tyrone being that good looking you couldn't help but check him out a few times and feel sexually attracted to him and it doesn't go unnoticed by harry, he teases you about it and later that night you end up having threesome, having harry in your pussy and tyrone in your mouth as it was h's condition. i also thought about part 2 smh about you going clubbing with you bff and her cousin when harry didn't want you to go because her cousin has a crush on you but despite it you went out, when you come back to your and harry's room you're greeted with visibly angry harry and smirking tyrone, at first you're confused with tyrone's present but when he says 'i think she deserves to be punished, don't you agree h?' it all clicks in place. ty fingering you hard while harry holds you to stop you from squirming around and moving your hips, that night harry lets tyrone have your pussy who didn't have mercy, fucking your brains out with a lot dirty talk and boys not stopping until you're completely fucked out

Gonna go ahead and do this in one go, so it’s gonna be loOoOoOng, sorry not sorry xx

- - -

Harry had whisked you away on holiday to Île de Ré, an island off the south of France, and you were in love. The two of you were lounging in the private villa he’d booked for the week, recovering from the bit of jetlag that came with flying so soon after a match. You’d just gotten out of the shower when Harry made the discovery that Tyrone was also on the island, looking up at you with the puppy-dog eyes he only used when he wanted something. 

“Yes, Harry?” You asked as you stood in front of him in just your towel, watching the blush fan out across his cheeks as he realized there was nothing underneath the towel you were wearing.

“Tyrone is here,” he said, showing you the location pics that were on his teammate’s private Instagram story. “Do you mind if I ask him to join us for dinner tonight so he and I can catch up?”

“Sure,” you replied, shrugging. “I cant’ wait to meet him - maybe he’ll give me some embarrassing stories about you on international duty.”

“He better not,” Harry mumbled, shaking his head as he typed out a message to Tyrone.

A few hours later, you were seated on an outdoor patio overlooking the Pertuis d’Antioche as you sipped a glass of Chardonnay that was produced right on the island. 

Tyrone was better-looking in person and you couldn’t stop checking him out. You’d seen him play on your tv screen a few times during away matches or when Tottenham played Aston Villa, but interacting with him in real life was a different story. Whenever you made him laugh, you would blush over the rim of your wineglass at the deep sound that went right to your pussy. 

Harry wasn’t blind - he could see the effect his England teammate was having on you and the way Tyrone was responding to you as well gave him an idea. “Are you up for a threesome?” He murmured, pulling you in for a kiss when Ty got up to use the toilet. 

“Wh-what?” You asked, shocked. You couldn’t hide the needy whimper that escaped when you thought about what it would feel like to have Tyrone’s hands on you like that, and that was all the confirmation Harry needed.

“We could do tonight if you’d like - and if Ty is down.”

“If Ty is down for what?” Came Tyrone’s question as he rejoined you and Harry. You were blushing like crazy now, and Harry wasn’t going to let you live it down.

“Go on, love,” Harry chided, giving you a cheeky grin. “Ask Tyrone for what you want.”

Tyrone looked at you expectantly and you squirmed in your seat. “I, uh, would like to know if you would, uhm, like to have a threesome with me and Harry...tonight?”

Tyrone’s gaze darkened and he leaned forward so he could tuck a lock of hair behind your ear as he whispered, “I’d love to.”

***

The rest of dinner and dessert was excruciating, your pussy throbbing and soaking your panties as your mind raced with thoughts about tonight. Towards the end of the evening, Harry started laying out a few ground rules for tonight: your pussy belonged to Harry but Tyrone could have your mouth all to himself. When Harry left the table for a moment, Tyrone couldn’t resist pulling you into his lap. “I’ve been watching that pretty little mouth all night,” he confessed, trailing kisses down your neck, “and I can’t wait to put it to good use later tonight.”

You were still in Tyrone’s lap when Harry returned, but he didn’t mind - Harry knew you were loyal to him, but he also liked to spice things up once in a while and this threesome was perfect for that. “You both ready to get out of here?” He asked, clearing his throat to get you and Tyrone’s attention.

Less than an hour later, you were on your knees looking up at Tyrone as you sucked him off while Harry was balls-deep in your pussy. You could barely fit over half of Tyrone’s cock in your mouth, but you were determined not to disappoint him, moaning around his length as you worked him over with your hands and mouth. Tyrone had one hand in your hair and the other lightly around your throat as he fucked your face, enjoying the sounds you made as you choked on his dick. Tyrone came down your throat just as Harry came in your pussy, the feeling of Harry’s cum coating the inside of your walls enough to trigger your own orgasm. 

When the three of you went to bed that night, you found yourself sandwiched between Harry and Tyrone, their hands possessively on various parts of your body.

***

Part Two

On the penultimate night of your holiday, your best friend and her cousin ended up meeting you and Harry on the island. Harry didn’t want you to go clubbing, you reminded him that he’d already had one of his friends spend time with you on the island and now you wanted to spend time with yours. Your friend’s cousin had a crush on you and you’d always known - it wasn’t really a secret and Harry knew, too, which was why he didn’t want you to go. Harry didn’t necessarily agree, but you snuck out while he was taking a mid-afternoon nap, enjoying the adrenaline rush that came with knowing you’d probably end up being punished when you came home later that night.

You were gone when Harry woke up and he knew exactly where you’d run off to, calling up Tyrone to see if his England teammate wanted in on Harry’s punishment for you. Tyrone quickly agreed, excited to watch you come undone under his and Harry’s rough hand. When he arrived at the villa, Harry told him all about his plans to punish you and what he’d let Tyrone do to your body, and the two of them waited for you to come home.

It was half-past eleven by the time you got back. You were slightly tipsy from the alcohol but also riding the high that came from dancing at a club with your friends. You quickly sobered up when you turned on the lights to find Harry and Tyrone sitting on the sofa in the living room, looking at you like fathers who’d waited up all night to discipline their daughter when she came home late. 

“H-Hi Ty,” you stuttered out, blushing a little as you tripped over your words. “What are you doing here?”

Wordlessly, Tyrone and Harry stood up and stalked over to you. Your pussy tingled at the sight of Tyrone towering over you and Harry looking at you sternly with his arms crossed. When Tyrone spoke, his eyes were on you, but his question was directed at Harry. “I think she deserves to be punished, don’t you agree, H?”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head as you took a step back. Tyrone and Harry advanced on you, but you weren’t scared - just turned on at the thought of being punished by Tyrone and Harry at the same time. Harry chuckled as you tripped on the rug and landed on your ass - the humiliation at being on the ground stinging far worse than the physical pain. “Ready for your punishment, naughty girl?”

Tyrone and Harry helped you up, leading you back to the sofa. It started out with a mindfuck - Harry kissed you long and slow, teasing your lips with his as he drew whimpers from your mouth. You didn’t even notice Tyrone spreading your legs and undressing you from the waist down when Harry cupped your tits and squeezed roughly to make you moan. 

By the time you realized what was happening, Harry was holding you down as Tyrone started to finger you. He went slowly for the first few thrusts, then added a second finger to stretch your dripping cunt as he picked up the pace. His fingers hit your cervix and you cried out, squirming in Harry’s arms as your boyfriend held you down. “If you want an orgasm at the end of this punishment then you better behave,” Harry growled in your ear when he couldn’t get you to stop moving. “Heh, good girl. Finally listening when I say something. Where was that obedient girl this afternoon when I told her she shouldn’t go out tonight?”

“I...I don’t know,” you ground out, nearing an orgasm as Ty picked up his pace again.

“Don’t. Cum,” Tyrone ordered, his eyes meeting yours as his fingers stilled inside you. “Do you think her cunt is ready for my cock?” He asked, turning his attention to Harry.

“Guess we’re about to find out.”

Tyrone bent you over the back of the sofa, giving your ass a few harsh spanks before he slid easily into your dripping pussy. You cried out, clutching at the fabric as he pounded into you. He fucked you with abandon, not giving you much time to adjust to his length and girth as he started talking dirty to you.

“God, your cunt is so tight - you’re so wet.”

“My dick is gonna destroy this pretty little pussy...fu-uck.”

Harry listened as Tyrone teased you with his words while he pounded into you, taking your chin in his hands as he looked at you, wanting in on this, too. “You gonna cum all over Tyrone’s cock, dirty girl?”

You looked at Harry, your eyes half-closed as you were overcome with pleasure. You tried to form words but all you could do was nod and moan, your eyes rolling back as your walls spasmed around Tyrone’s cock and you had the first of many orgasms that night.

Harry and Tyrone took turns using your holes, reveling in your responsiveness to them. When they were done, your jaw was sore from all the blowjobs you’d given and your pussy was aching and dripping cum.

“You’re travelling with the national team whenever Winks gets called up, yes?” Tyrone asked as the three of you were laying in bed. You nodded sleepily as you traced patterns on Ty’s chest. “Good, because I’m going to need your pussy whether we win or lose.”

Forever Tags: @chilly-me-softly @savingprivatecass @inlovewithamess @footballdaydream @brewsterbabyy @bbychilly @jamesdanielmaddison @hmminnbirdd @sweetlikesugar9 @lawsandother @eastxfeden @words-for-marcus @eatsleepbreathefutbol @hoelymolywinksy @marco-asensios @kingkepaff @meteora-fc

Tyrone Tags: @idiotsfc @qwetyronerty

Harry Tag: @footballffbarbiex @sunslittlesister

[katieamazeballs]

DWTS Tour recap!

Hey y’all! Here’s my (ever entertaining) tour recap! First of all, we are so grateful to this beautiful lady for giving us tickets for Christmas and coming with us. She was a little reluctant to go considering we told her we’d be leaving the house at 3 and returning God only knows when. But she wanted pics with the pros to brag to her Zumba friends. Imma say our experience delivered. She can’t wait to go next year!

After killing time with endless Jenga battles, we left at 3 to head downtown.

(Y’all should be impressed)

We got downtown, parked, and walked to the bus in hopes we’d see someone. Low and behold......

Abs Boo Thang was exiting the bus at that moment! He was in a rush but came over for a pic and a quick chat. She asked him if he remembered her from last year and he was like “Oh, yeah, of course!” (Bwahahaha). In typical fangirl Katie fashion....I totally forgot to give him his note 🤦🏻‍♀️ or get a pic with him. I’m so bad at this 😂. Abs asked where Wit was right as Carson was getting off the bus. Alan walked over and told him to go get Wit as they were walking into the venue. We stood there and the security lady came over and told us we couldn’t stand there so we left to do a lap of the venue. When we walked to the other side of the bus, we saw a couple way in the distance walking and my mom said “That could be Val and Jenna!” We watched for a second and I saw that mother truckin fanny pack strapped across the man’s chest and I was like “Holy crap it is!!!!” So we walked towards them hoping they’d turn down that sidewalk and not go towards the back of the venue. We leaned against a wall and “got busy on our phones” and put Abs on “see if they come this way” duty. She goes “Um....they are and Val just waved at me!” So we waited till they got closer and turned to wait. They stopped and Val said hello to us and Abs latched herself onto Jenna. My mom told them they were a beautiful couple and asked for a picture

I took one with Val while Abs latched herself back onto Jenna.

I asked him to sign my book and he laughed when I told him I carried that damned thing through MVP and forgot to ask him then

While he was signing, I got a pic with this gorgeous love

Then Abs latched herself onto Val. I went to take a pic and got this absolute gem

Abs is a little salty that she didn’t get one with Val alone but it worked out because somehow the one of her and Jen didn’t take (I think because he asked me a question and I turned to talk to him). We chatted a minute and I completely forgot to ask the questions I had planned (as big of a game as I talk...I’m a total blubbering idiot in front of them). Jen was surprised to see his book without the jacket because she hadn’t seen it naked before. My mom told her it was because I didn’t want it to get messed up in my purse and Val was like “that’s damn smart!” They left and I hollered “Oh my God come back! I have notes for you! I’m such a terrible fangirl in person”. Jenna laughed and Val told me I held it together better than most.

After that encounter we went back to the bus. The security lady chased us off again so we did a lap. My mom was saying she really hoped to meet Sasha and Emma. Abs wanted to meet Ruby. We stopped by the buses again and out walked the Farber family! My mother’s jaw hit the dirt! She went all blubbery fan girl and threw her phone in my direction for a picture

Abs asked if she could pet Ruby and they told her she could, if Ruby let her, because she has some anxiety issues. She was successful and says she is so soft.

Abs wanted a pic with Sasha AND Ruby so....

Abs then started talking to Emma.  She asked her if she remembered her from last year.  Emma also replied “Oh, sure I do”.  Abbie said “I still don’t know why I cried, I think I was overwhelmed”.  Emma’s lightbulb turned on and she got all excited “Oh my goodness!  I DO remember you!  We met over there!  Your mum took a video!”  This is the moment my love for Emma exploded.  She was already a fave, then we met last year and she was so sweet, then she somehow actually remembered us and holy crap y’all! 

(Y’all take note of that lady back there in the red jacket.  Homegirl was more and more pissed at every pic that we took. Jacksonville security hates me and my fangirl self)

 Since Big Bad Security Lady was real deal pissed off after Abs petted Rubes, we decided it was best to take another lap.  When we came back, Carson was standing there.  He is ADORABLE in person.  Like HOLY CRAP!  I asked him if I could take a picture.  He looked behind him then looked back at me and said “Me?”  I said, “Yep!”.  He lit up and was like “No one ever wants a picture with me!  Heck yeah, I’ll take a picture!”  Abs asked him to tell Wit she said hi and I gave him her note (because I finally got my shit together).

(Wit better look out.  Imma swoop in on her man)

The world’s friendliest security lady was eyeing us again so another lap was made.  When we came back, my mom decided she was “old and needed to check her phone” so we leaned up against a tree in direct defiance of the security nazi.  Out popped this beautiful man.  Holy Crap, y’all.  He is flippin gorgeous in person.  I mean like WHOA!  He laughed when I tried to take a picture because he’s real deal tall and I’m real deal short. He grabbed my phone and took the pics for us.  Ha! Words can not describe the beauty that is Gleb in person.  My mom kept saying how handsome he is. 

Right when Gleb left, this adorable human came out.  My mother’s face says it all.  He is just precious!  So kind, so baby faced, so very precious.

At this point, Meet and Greet had started so we wandered around to go see if we could tell who was inside because we still hadn’t found Joe, Artem, Hayley, Britt, or Wit.  I went around back while my mom and Abs held that tree up, which made the security lady’s day.  I saw Wit and Artem inside mingling so I knew we were pretty out of luck and went to collect the lurkers to go grab dinner.  My mom wanted to sit and watch M&G for a bit and all of us were in absolute awe of the beauty of Wit while she and Artem were happily selfieing (yeah, I made that a verb, deal with it) with the fans.  My mom couldn’t get over how the people in there paid that much money for tickets and we had met more than half the cast on our own terms. We went back out front for one more glance before dinner and somehow Artem was at the bus.  I was waving my squad over while I gave him his card and asked for a picture and he was reeeaaaallll skeptical.  He said “It depends, how many people are over there”. I said “Just me” as I am frantically waiving.  He cut his eyes at me and said “Are you suuuuuuure?”  I told him it was just my mom and daughter (as they finally moseyed over there) and he laughed and told me the guard was oddly insistent about them not talking to the fans at the bus for some reason and she was scary. 

Y’all….here’s where I show you a zoom in of Attila the Hun (from the background of our Esha encounter)…..who is not even a little impressed with the fact that we were at this show.  Artem was scared of her, my mother….not even a little.   

 We went and had some pizza, got our souveniers (including a mug for Bestie that I SWEAR Imma mail tomorrow), and went to the show.  Y’all….the show is AMAZING!  I liked it a lot more than last year!  The dances were amazing, the dialogue was hysterical.  My mom’s favorite part was Emma’s Elvis dance and the couple segment. Abs favorite dance was “The One Where Alan Is Shirtless”….so pretty much all of it.  My favorite was the flag dance.  I had seen clips of the drool worthy dance and of Sasha running out at the end.  What I hadn’t seen was that he runs out and in approx 5 times as the guys look at him like he’s insane.  He finally comes out with some tiny yard marking stake flag and starts waving it frantically, whacking Val with it.  I about peed myself!

 After the show, we went out to the buses and met up with Abs’ friend and her mom. We chit chatted and the actual DWTS Security guy came out.  He told us that the curfew was 10 (it was about 9:15) and that when he came and told us no one else was coming, we had to leave because the buses had to roll out right at 10.  He told us to respect the “very secure, military grade bike racks that were provided to us and no pushing or shoving.  A (very nice) arena security guy lamented the fact that no one ever wants to take a picture of him....then cracked up when I said “Oh, but I do!” and I did.

Joe came out and went directly on the bus, Alan came out and mingled (and cut me out of our selfie….brat),

Sasha came out and mingled for a loooooong time.  He made sure everyone got to talk to him and take their pictures.  He was great this tour! 

Most of the pros came out and went straight to the bus due to time.   At one point someone yelled “Hi Carson!”  The girl next to her said “That’s his last name, you idiot!” so she then yelled “Well, Hi Mr Witney!”  He chuckled and waved and went on the bus.  Abbie goes “Their last name is McAllister” and we all died laughing because it was hysterical.  Jenna came out and got some stuff out of the bus and that’s when I heard her say to someone on the staff “Actually, Val and I are…..” and now we know they went to Jersey. Witney came out to mingle and Abs lost her collective fan girl shit.  She absolutely LOVES Witney.  My mom couldn’t get over how stunningly beautiful Wit is in person and without makeup.  She is absolutely gorgeous.

When Wit came over to us Abs was in tears and Wit asked her name.  She told her Abbie and Wit said “Oh!  Carson told me you said hello!  I read your note!”  Abs’ friend’s mom managed to catch it all in pics and it’s adorable. 

After Wit, Britt came out but only got to about half the crowd (not us.....sigh).  Emma came out and security told her she couldn’t see anyone so she gave the crowd an air hug and told us she loved us and thanked us all for coming out as security was ushering Britt out and onto the bus.  As we were walking to the cars, Abs and her friend were catching up on some middle school gossip and her mom and I were exchanging tour stories. I brought up a picture of Shai’s hat and she was like OMG!  You’re on tumblr!  I still haven’t decided if I’m embarrassed or flattered, but this is gonna be so much fun!  Y’all…..she’s my kindred Valenna believer.  @edsy914

 All in all it was an amazing night that capped off a pretty damn epic weekend.  We got to meet everyone but Joe, Hayley, and Britt.  We all can’t wait to go next year!

[cricket-7]

Cricket and Vadim for the ship meme!

ship meme | accepting

under the cut for length

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - apparently until one of them perma dies

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - it was a bit of slowburn, i mean with the timeline it took these losers over a year to say anything about feelings to each other

How was their first kiss? - very horny. cricket takes a loooooong time to warm up to casual affection so i’m sure it wasn’t a sweet casual thing since they started out as friends with benefits.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Vadim. technically since he was the first to bring up the idea.

Who is the best man/men? - ???

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - ???

Who did the most planning? - …Cricket?

Who stressed the most? - Vadim because of Cricket changing their mind every five minutes

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - the press

Sex:

Who is on top? - Cricket

Who is the one to instigate things? - also Cricket… @ Clovis Bray why’d you make exos so horny?

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Hours

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - I’m sure it’s something they both try for

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - NONE

How many children will they adopt? - I hadn’t even thought of that… oh no

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - 

Who is the stricter parent? - 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? -

Who is the more loved parent? -

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?

Who cried the most at graduation? -

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? -

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Vadim

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Cricket

Who does the grocery shopping? - they try and do it together bc the market is cute

How often do they bake desserts? - often. they both have insomnia and it’s fun

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - idk about Vadim but Cricket prefers a plant based diet bc it’s easier to convert to biofuel

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Cricket while Vadim is working

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Vadim

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Neither

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Cricket since Vadim has a real job in the City

Who is really against chores? - Neither?

Who cleans up after the pets? -

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Cricket

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Cricket, they stress over people in general

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Vadim, but it wasn’t a dollar, it was a knife

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Vadim, Cricket doesn’t need to bathe as much bc robot

Who takes the dog out for a walk? -

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - When it’s the big holidays like Festival of the Lost, the Dawning, Solstice, etc…

What are their goals for the relationship? - being happy and making each other feel good

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - lol sleeping. that’s funny

Who plays the most pranks? - Cricket

[astranxmica]

ULT SHIP for WonderCanary :D

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME! @i-am-diana-of-themyscira

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs | OMFG LET THESE GIRLS MEET

How long will they last? - FOREVER. PLEASE. GDMIT

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Legend >> Idol >> Partners >> Lovers >> Love of thier lives

How was their first kiss? - Warm and sweet and perfect

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Sara, on a boat in the middle of the ocean halfway through their sailing around the world 

Who is the groomsmen/ bestman? - Sara has Oliver as her best man and Raymond and Amaya as her groomsmen

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - Diana has Bruce as her best man, and Amazons from Themiscyra as her bestwomen 

Who did the most planning? - Sara, to her surprise

Who stressed the most? - Sara, she wanted everything to be perfect cuz Diana deserved it. 

How fancy was the ceremony? - PERFECT.Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - no one in particular, though the list was pretty exclusive to those who were important to both of them 

Sex:

Who is on top? - Oh, Sara 50%. Diana can’t help herself and neither can Sara. They love both being tops and bottoms. 

Who is the one to instigate things? - BOTH. HORNDOGS.

How healthy is their sex life? - Um, MAXIM wants to write an article on them. Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX | DO THEY HAVE FREETIME… AKA SEX. 

How kinky are they? - Sara. ( kinkmaster ). Lance.Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - A loooooong time. Both of them have incredible stamina. 

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - They make sure that each of them are satisfied. 

How rough are they in bed? - Bring on the sweetness. Bring on the pain. Bring on the competition. They love it all. Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - A LOT. Sara loves the way Diana strokes her face and draws her into her arms, its sort of like magic. No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - undecided, as physicality allows 

How many children will they adopt? - if they came across someone who needed it

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - equal and both of them find it hilarious 

Who is the stricter parent? - SARA & DIANA are equally strict on their children, they have high expectations

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Diana, she teaches them how to turn that dangerous into goodness

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Sara 

Who is the more loved parent? - They are both loved equally 

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Both, and both of them take no crap when it comes to her kids– those are their kids and they believe in them always. 

Who cried the most at graduation? - They both teared up, Diana cried. 

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Sara would bail them out; Diana would not understand why they got in there in the first place. 

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Both, together 

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither really

Who does the grocery shopping? - Sara, its what she can contribute, she’s the worst cook

How often do they bake desserts? - Diana, when stressed

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - BALANCED.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - They both try to out surprise the other

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Sara, but they both like being together in their own space– and she will physically hurt anyone who hits on her girl. 

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - … Sara.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Both. 

Who is really against chores? - Sara on specific chores, dishes and floors are the worst. 

Who cleans up after the pets? - Sara and Diana both love their fur children, especially their persian cat.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Sara

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Neither. Fuck them, they can kill half the universe. 

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Both. And they put it in the savings box for their dream vacay.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Sara– she treasures the luxuries she didn’t have in the League– but she wants Diana in each and every one of them. 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Sara loves to walk their fur children, but Diana always comes with her, especially in cold weather. 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - A little, for the holidays they care about

What are their goals for the relationship? - Forever. Equality. Strength. Integrity. Forever.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Sara and pulls Diana into it with her

Who plays the most pranks? - Neither

….IF THEY ARENT MARRIED I DUNNO WHO IS!

[4clc]

day6 as a swim team aka free!au

aka the start of my free!ly collection

sungin:

swim team captain of course

3rd year

in charge of grilling the hot dogs

breaststroke!!

smol man but he finishes 100 fast

always fckin eating bananas

hates protein bars with a burning passion

“THERE’S SO MUCH EXTRA UNHEALTHY STUFF”

hangs all his medals on his bedroom wall

next to pictures of this team :’D

<3 loves his team so much <3

googles team bonding exercises

spent 33 hours in total reading wikihow articles and guides

has been pushing a team camping trip ever since he was a 1st year

“but what if someone mistakes you for a bear” - wonpil

The Driver™

car permanently smells like chlorine and old spice

was pulled aside and asked to be in an old spice commercial after a swim meet once

NO COLORED BEVERAGES IN THE CAR!!!

lifeguard in the summer with the bro brian

pulls out his guitar at the end of season bonfire

has a loooooong ass speech prepared

ends it with “i just love you guys ok”

cries but says he didn’t

jae:

swims FREE and buttah fly

2nd year

his credits got messed up when he transferred from the u.s.

looks like a twig but don’t be fooled

this string bean will be outta the water before you even finish

very very good at long distance

the L O N G really helps him

used to do hurdles in track but decided to try smth else

he met brian at a party where he spouted some philosophical bs

and jae thought it was hot

BOOM! swim team

hogs the aux cord

plays strictly nicki minaj and coldplay on meet days

always on snapchat

u see that 600 second story?

dont bother it’s just closeups of wonpil

and sleeping brian

gets yelled at by sungjin bc he even does it in the locker rooms

“accidentally” pushes kids into pools (see: wonpil)

looooooveeess teasing wonpil

but dont even u DARE even THINK anything mean abt wonpil or else jae will fight u

in fact he nearly fought some 3rd years who made fun of wonpil’s speedo

“YEAH WELL HE’S GONNA BEAT U WEARING THAT” “hyung stop”

known for his huge ass sunglasses

“DAMN DANIEL” but at dowoon in sandals

a big dowoon fan, especially of the cat pictures he sends

but not the links to horror stories at 2am

brian:

medley king

3rd year

The Hot Swimmer™

a marketing ploy to gain more swim team members (see: jae)

hates backstroke because it feels like he could sleep but he CANT

acts like he knows u

will smile at you before and after he obliterates you

even if someone didnt come in first place young k congratulates them and shakes their hand

everyone has a crush on him

even the swimmers from other schools

likes to sling his arm around sungjin in group pics

sungjin’s lifeguard buddy

LOTS of food dates with dowoon

but they have to be sneaky bc sungjin puts them on a strict diet

dj young k, second in command to the aux cord

the first to go into the pool during morning practices

not bc he wants to

but bc his soul has already left his body

thank you cram school and swim practice

in other words this boy doesnt sleep

always forgets his own soap and shampoo

“hyung can i borrow some-” “get ur own hamster boy”

also forgot his clothes at a meet once

thank god he was saved by wonpil

but not rlly bc “WHY THE HELL DO YOU OWN THIS PINK SWEATER”

wonpil:

pink speedo

1st year

just wants brian to be thankful for his pink sweater

stopped straightening his hair bc it gets ruined at practice anyway

and he always complains but everyone LOVES it

he looks so good ok honey please bless us with ur curls again

distance swimmer

used to be intimidated by sungjin bc he’s v good at breaststroke

but it disappeared when sungjin helped him out of the pool after he got last place at his first meet

cried tears of joy (also sungjin hugged him for the first time)

really looks up to sungjin

was shocked when he beat sungjin 200 fly

but sungjin congratulates him and hypes him up

and wonpil cries again

thinks brian’s butt looks nice

he compliments it a lot

once jae recorded him singing in the shower and it went viral

because his voice is beautiful

but also bc he slipped and fell when he saw the camera

always seems to be falling when jae is around

got pushed into the pool bc he asked jae what he got on the math test

gets the aux cord when theyre going home and everyone’s asleep

sungjin gets annoyed because he’s always changing songs

*turns the radio off*

gives his teammates chocolates on valentine’s day w the help of dowoon

bffs with dowoon

wonpil was scared to try out on his own so dowoon tried out as well

BEST. DECISION. EVER.

held dowoon’s hand while the coach was talking bc he was so so scared

both ended up making it on the team

dowoon:

“i only swim free”

1st year

always makes references to anime

and spongebob

bought his swim shorts bc they look like haruka’s

tried grilling mackerel with only an apron + swim shorts

wonpil walked in on him

“....”

wrote pick up lines on cards to go with wonpil’s chocolates

“are you tired? bc you’ve been swimming thru my mind all day”

uses earphones to listen to his own music in the car bc jae sucks

“why can’t you appreciate jazz?????” “are u gonna slam nicki??”

always brings the largest bag to meets

bc its filled with manhwas

steals everyone’s parkas to spread out on the grass so he can lie down and read

quiet and shy but always trying his best

jae and young k stole his clothes while he was in the shower once

it was “initiation”

but dowoon started crying for help and mama bear came

and jaehyungparkian fckin BOLTED

his team attacks him with kisses when he gets his first bronze

they carry him to the car when he gets gold

cries when the seniors graduate

cries at the last meet of every season before they go home

and his teammates smush him in a group hug

always the first to fall asleep on the ride home

also ik their ages dont match their years but shhhhhh

[shredsandpatches]

I’ve been meaning for the last week and a half to post more pics from my trip to England but at the same time have been very lazy and done a bad job of it, with the exception of selfies in which I am making silly faces at larger-than-life photographs of David Tennant or pieces of clothing David Tennant once wore onstage. Also, I took like 900 photos so I’m obviously not going to post them all at once. But I am going to post them in bits, along with comments and stories! (I’ll put all the notes/explanations behind a cut so they don’t fill up your whole dash.)

The first three rows are from the hotel we* stayed in in Stratford-upon-Avon -- it's called the Falcon and the older building (it also has a modern wing) was there in Shakespeare's day. It’s quite a lovely hotel that served us an extremely delicious Sunday roast after a loooooong day of traveling (I did not account in making my plans for the fact that it’s a lot harder to use mass transit on Sundays because I live in the Midwest and people don’t do that) and has a bar with a truly magical selection of gins.

Pictured: Sipsmith sloe gin with Fever-Tree lemon tonic

The two pictures in the third row are of the view from our room; visible in the picture on the left is the site of New Place, the big swanky house Shakespeare bought for himself when he retired. When he looked out his front window he would have seen the Falcon (which was a tavern in those days) and indeed the very window of the room we stayed in (on the first floor, third from the left). The house no longer exists (it was torn down in 1702), but there is a beautiful garden on the site, about which more later. The house next door (visible in the photo) belonged to Shakespeare’s granddaughter Elizabeth Hall and her husband Thomas Nash (not the dildo poet); it’s now an exhibit and gift shop. In the picture on the right, you can see the Guild Chapel, where Shakespeare would have gone to services as a schoolboy. (Also, they had a thing at our hotel on Wednesday that we didn’t know about so we accidentally stole some of their tea, which was kind of embarrassing.)

Pictured: stolen Guild Chapel tea.

The rest of the pics in this set and the next two or three photosets are from Shakespeare’s Birthplace, which we went to on a very wet day that was also colder than balls. All the historical houses in Stratford have fake fireplaces that are amazingly disappointing when you are cold and wet (I mean, I understand why they are fake, but it was quite damp and chilly). Unfortunately, the photos aren’t great quality -- you’re not allowed to take flash photos, so many of them are kind of dark, and there was a school group there that day plus a bunch of kids serving as tour guides for a day, which was pretty charming really, but did mean it was sometimes hard to get a good shot. Plus I’m not really a very good photographer to begin with.

Anyway, the pics in the fourth and fifth rows are from the garden. I thought the tree in the fifth row was the mulberry tree that everyone went apeshit over in the eighteenth century, so I took a picture of it, but that one was a) at New Place and b) cut down in the 1750s because the property owner got sick of all the tourists showing up on his lawn to chop off bits. The plaque made me giggle though (all the “do not touch” plaques in the Shakespeare family homes are in first person, very period-appropriate).

Of the last three pics in the set, two are in the guest room -- one of them shows the painted wall cloths with moralizing sayings on them, and one of them shows the guest bed (or rather, a modern reproduction thereof; most of the furniture pieces are modern reproductions that give you a sense of what it might have looked like). The guest bed would have been the nicest bed in the house, which is why it’s probably wise not to make a big deal about the infamous “second best bed” bit in the will, and indeed it does look pretty nice and cozy, doesn’t it? The chest at the end is authentic although I don’t know if it was actually owned by the Shakespeares or just from the right time period. The right-hand pic in the last row is of the dining room table -- there are more pics of this room (which is quite cheery and homey) but they don’t fit in the photoset so I’ll put them in the next one.

(Also, when you go to Shakespeare’s Birthplace there’s a little exhibit first with stuff about the family and interesting household items and stuff. I’ll post pics from that after the pics of the rooms. I have a ton of photos of Elizabethan and Jacobean household objects now because that’s also what the New Place exhibit focuses on.)

*i.e. @aumerle-that-was and me. She doesn’t want her picture posted on tumblr, which is why she’s not in any of the pics.

[sweetteahyung]

it’s been a while since i posted a picture of my dog Rocky, and i’ve never posted a pic of my cats Kisa or Wind, so I thought i’d just do that while i’m booping around on tumblr xD give you guys a break from kpop :’D 

I’m gonna talk about all my pets and stuff, and it’s gonna get loooooong so feel free to ignore it xD imma put it under a cut~

Kisa is my baby <3 she was born next to me and i’ve had her the entire 12 years she’s been on this earth ;u; she’s nuttier than a kitten and climbs the walls when she’s had a whiff of catnip. She can also jump 6ft straight up and can jump about the same horizontally, haha! You would never know she was 12 years old if you saw her running around being her crazy self xD

I haven’t had Wind her whole life, only about 15 years or so! (only 15, haha)  She’s deaf now, but she still gets around surprisingly well and loves to be petted and brushed (which is a good thing because she’s decided in the last 6 months or so that grooming isn’t something she needs to do because she has people for that OTL) she also likes to yell at me when i’m not getting her food to her fast enough :’D she’s a little underweight atm, but we did bloodwork at the vet and her bloodwork looks great???? no thyroid issues o: she did have a slight heart murmur tho so she’s on meds for that now :’D i do everything i can for her and she seems to be doing good! noisy old lady cat pfft

I’ve talked quite a bit about Rocky on here <3 he’s also my baby! I rescued him from being put down at the shelter when he was about a year old, and i’ve had him almost 5 years now ;u; he’s been having some problems in the last year or so with his spine and hips, but we’re managing it pretty well. Some days are better than others :c i’m just trying to keep him as happy and healthy as i can for as long as i can, and it seems to be going okay so far!

The cat pictured above was Callie.  I think i’ve mentioned my other cat Callie before? Not sure, haha~ Callie was a cat i found as a kitten up in the mountains close to where I live.  She was living in a feral colony in the woods that was being fed by an older lady in a trailer :’D it was my 7th birthday and I asked my parents if I could take her home, since our previous cat, Sweetie, had had to be put down due to a fast growing cancerous tumor in her throat a couple of years before, leaving us cat-less.  My parents finally agreed and we loaded Callie up and took her home.  She wasn’t actually the kitten I wanted, but she was sick, and i think that’s the only reason the lady could catch her xD it worked out well, though, because we got her all doctored up and had her for 16 interesting years.  She wasn’t always a friendly cat.  Most of the time she’d rather bite or scratch than be petted, but I loved her anyways.  She was my fat, grumpy old lady, and she mellowed out some as she got older.  about a year ago, though, we noticed a lump on her belly... this lump progressively got bigger and ended up being a tumor.  We really let it go on too long and I regret that, but I finally got the tumor removed.  Callie, despite being 16 years old, made it through the surgery okay and healed up great.  i was very optimistic about her having a few more years in her, and was fully prepared to do whatever I could to keep her going, but a few weeks after we had her tumor removed, she started having trouble breathing :c we took her back to the vet and found out she had fluid around her lungs.  They drew the fluid off and it turned out to be lymphoma.  I had the fluid drawn off once a week for several weeks, and she managed to make it through new years, but more and more problems started popping up, and she was in so much pain I decided to have her put down.  Even now, months later, I still tear up looking at pictures or videos of her.  16 years of my life I spent with this grumpy cat who wanted to be on your lap every time you sat down, but didn’t want you to touch her half the time, and suddenly she was gone.  I still miss you, Callie :c it took a long time for me to stop looking for her when I came home, and there’ll always be a Callie-shaped hole in my home that no other animal will be able to fill

...moving on to less sad things, i also have a few more pets that you guys have never seen on here :’D i have two gerbils, both girls, named Kaipo and Orin! Kaipo is a nutmeg, and Orin is a polar fox <3 they’re super cute and sweet and i love them lots ;u; i also have a russian dwarf hamster named Mama Dragon that i brought home from the pet store where i work because she was too mean to sell, and i love her to bits <3 i won her over with treats and we’re buds now LOL 

recently i’ve added a couple of betta fish to my family as well! the first one is named Bubbles, and i brought him home from the pet store because he was so small he couldn’t eat the normal sized betta pellets! I’m thinking now that he was just young, because he’s grown a LOT and is definitely big enough to eat them now xD he’s beautiful and such a sweetheart <3 

The other betta is Lotus, and i brought him home because he had some pretty bad fin rot and swim bladder disorder, which caused him to float at the top of the tank and list to the side like he was dead :c within a few weeks, though, I got him swimming normally and now he’s a happy lil guy <3 working on getting his weight back up and his fins grown back out! I love him so much ;u; he’s super pretty, i’ll have to post pics/videos of him and Bubbles sometime <3

That’s everybody so far!  If you read all of this, then bless u <3 i love to talk about my animals and i get a little lengthy when i babble about them sometimes :’D peace out, i hope y’all have a great day/night/whatever it is wherever you are!