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jakesimfromstatefarm · 4 years ago

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notoriously yours | jay park

✰ summary: jay park is a rich kid. it’s safe to say he has everything every broke college student on his campus could dream of and more. but the one thing he doesn’t have, which money definitely can’t buy, is a girlfriend. and his friends won’t see of it. literally.

so what happens when his friends bet him to date someone for more than three months? what happens when jay decides that fake-dating someone would be easier than actual dating (because god forbid Jay–the campus’ notoriously known fuckboy–decides to commit to something once in his life)?

and what happens when that someone is you, his childhood best friend he hasn’t spoken to in years..who has absolutely no interest in being in his life anymore?

✰ pairing: jay park x y/n [ft. members of enha]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy, angst | fakedating!au, college!au, childhoodbestfriends!au, (kinda) e2l!au

✰ warnings: cursing, nothing suggestive but jay's a fuckboy so slightly suggestive themes, mentions of parental neglect/leaving, it's hella long (and i thought my last fic was long)

✰ wc: 14.7k (how did i get it this long oh lord)

✰ author's note: picture creds go to original owners/editors! peep that edit of jay that lowkey inspired this entire fic 👀also this took me so, so long bc i lost motivation half way thru and bc college is a thing,,,so i honestly don't know how to feel abt it so pls bare with me :')))) ALSO the dividers are weird bc idk how to add more than 10 pics for the dividers so pls excuse those ٩(× ×)۶i hope u guys enjoy!! <333

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Jay Park is a rich kid.

Jay Park has enough to buy every textbook he needs for his courses without having to look up the free versions online. Jay Park has enough to bribe his professors to let him pass every class with a perfect 4.0 GPA (but because the boy has morals, he doesn't). Jay Park has enough to afford a car to drive to his furthest class from his dorm building instead of walk or bike like every other college student, meaning he also has enough to afford a parking spot on campus (those things aren't cheap!).

Jay Park walks around your school's campus like he owns the place (and considering the amount of money his family has donated to the school, he practically does), looking like he just walked out of your local coffee shop's newest fashion magazine. His blonde hair is never seen untouched, his attire usually consisting of an undoubtedly high-end all-black fit, accessorized with multiple earrings and rings that probably cost more than all the overpriced textbooks you had to rent out this semester. It's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park.

Bottom line is, Jay Park has everything.

Well, his friends beg to differ.

In their eyes, Jay Park has everything but a simple factor in the equation of love (or whatever love is to the minds of a couple of 19 year olds): commitment.

So yes, it's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park. Because everyone knows he's the campus' rich fuckboy. (What's a college fanfic campus without one anyways?)

Jay doesn't go unreminded of this by his friends, to the boy's annoyance.

Jay is aware of this on a Sunday afternoon, in his dorm building's first floor lounge, where he and his said friends are having a study session.

They're doing anything but studying.

In fact, no one has any books out or anything. Not a single laptop in site.

"You don't think it's the slightly bit concerning?" Jake's words are muffled as he continues munching on the fried chicken that he spent majority of this study session debating if he should have it delivered through UberEats or not.

"I really don't, no," Jay shrugs as he continues mindlessly scrolling through his Instagram feed. They're having the same argument conversation that they've revisited multiple times over the course of their friendship, one that Jay has been lectured on too many times for his own good. He thinks his friends could become his new parents if they really tried.

"Look at it this way, okay. You're about to graduate college in a couple of years, into the big world. Like the actual, adult world. And that means you'll have to settle down. Which you can't do when you. have. no. commitment!" Jake punctuates each word with a single clap of his hands, desperate to get his point across.

Jay simply rolls his eyes. He looks over to Sunghoon, who's minding his own business, not bothered by the same topic he's heard over and over again. His eyes tell Jay you're on your own, in response to his blonde-haired friend's look of despair.

Jay thinks that maybe he should get new friends. Yes, that's the only solution here.

"My love life," Jay reaches across the table for a drumstick from the greasy tub seated in Jake's lap until Jake swats his hand away, "is none of your business. Also, ouch."

"Uh, it kinda is. Because of you and your reputation around campus, it kinda affects us, your best friends. How do you think we look, hanging out with the guy who's known to ghost every girl in existence after one night with them? No offense to you," Jake deadpans to him. Jay mentally reconsiders the term best friends.

Tough love. Jay tells himself it's tough love.

"Yes, because every girl totally hates Jake Sim, the teacher assistant of a physics class who volunteers at the pet shelter every Sunday and brings their pet golden retriever to campus every two weeks," Jay rolls his eyes at his Australian friend.

Jake sighs. "Okay, then I'm coming from a place of worry for you."

Jay groans. "Again, none of your business!" This doesn't stop Jake. He comes from good intentions, really, but Jay wants nothing more than to stuff the kid's mouth with some of that chicken to shut him up.

"What are you gonna do if one day you meet someone you like, genuinely like, and you screw yourself over because you've never been in an actual relationship before? A real, committed one. Like one that lasts at least three months."

"You don't think I can last three months in a relationship?" Jay questions the boy currently taunting him.

"Honestly? No. What's the longest relationship you've been in?" Jake cocks an eyebrow at his friend across from him.

One month and two weeks. But Jay's smart enough to not say that out loud.

"I can so last over three months," Jay mutters more to himself than Jake.

Jake laughs at that, pausing to take another bite of the drumstick in his hand. "Jay, I am willing to actually bet you. Bet that you wouldn't be able to." He leans back on the couch, the ball now in Jay's court.

Jay freezes, looking up from his phone, narrowing his eyes at Jake.

"Forget it, Jake. He's not gonna agree even if you offered him money," Sunghoon finally perches from beside him. Well he's not wrong. It's not like Jay is exactly in need of more money, per say.

"What kind of bet are we talking here?"

Sunghoon's right. Jay doesn't need the money, but he does hate being wrong. Even if it's over something as stupid as this matter.

Caught off guard by the blonde's answer, Jake blinks blankly at him and takes a second to think.

"Hmm..what about...what about if you can date someone for at least three months, and I mean an actual, committed relationship, then I'll do all of your physics homework next semester."

Jay's eyes sparkle at that. If there's anything he despises more than commitment, it's physics.

"And if I win, you have to buy all of my textbooks," Jake sits back from the edge of his seat with a smirk lying on his face.

Jay pauses to think about it. I mean, what does he have to lose? A couple hundred dollars over college textbooks? No. Because he just simply won't lose.

And maybe he'll learn what it'll be like to actually be in a committed relationship for once. Maybe he'll finally learn what it's like to actually devote yourself to someone, open up to them. He shivers at the thought. Never mind. He'll warm up to it. Baby steps.

Nonetheless, what could go wrong? Even if he does lose, at least his money would be going somewhere productive––towards his friend's education. Jay was probably gonna use that money on something useless like a blanket that resembles a tortilla (a burrito blanket, he calls it)––something he doesn't necessarily need, but must have, he would argue.

"Fine. Whatever, okay. Deal," he grabs Jake's extended hand in front of him and shakes on it.

Jake's impressively smiling at the boy as Sunghoon lets out a sigh, in disbelief with the two guys he calls his best friends.

Jay concludes that this will be easier than his Introduction to Photography 101 course he took his freshman year. How hard is it to find someone to date the Jay Park? Surely, everyone will be lining up once Jay switches his FaceBook relationship status from "it's complicated" to "single".

Turns out, it's not as easy as his class where all Jay had to do was take pictures of a pretty sunset, slap a VSCO filter on, and call it a day.

He comes to this realization on a Wednesday evening, as he's seated at one of the many study tables lined in the middle of the campus' library, staring down at his phone's dry iMessage app, with his laptop and blank sheets of scratch paper scrambled across the entire table, as an attempt to look half as studious as the other students studying in the facility.

Turns out, being known as the campus' fuckboy who ghosts every girl on campus isn't a good thing when it comes to wanting to find a real relationship.

He comes to this realization after failing to receive a single text back to the many ones he sent out throughout the first half of his day. The ghoster gets ghosted. Oh how the turn tables.

Jay groans dramatically as he tosses his phone on the hard surface of the table, earning himself a harsh shush from the librarian filing books in the aisle beside him.

He sheepishly smiles back as an apology, directing his attention back to his open laptop screen, where his untouched calculus homework stares back at him––his mind preoccupied with the looming threat of Jake's bet. Not that it was threatening in any way, per say, but Jay just hates losing. And from the looks of things, it's safe to say that Jay won't be celebrating any victories anytime soon.

Jay thinks he should just change his identity and just transfer to some boarding school in Switzerland. Yes, that's a much better solution than admitting defeat to Jake.

Jay sighs as he lies his head on the table, figuring he might as well just write the check for Jake's textbooks now. He wonders how he got here in the first place. Not how he got into the bet, and definitely not how he's sitting in the middle of the library, having yet to start his calculus homework due at 11:59PM tonight (he should really start that).

But no, he wonders how he gained the reputation as the campus' playboy. To be fair, his friends (mainly Jake), are constantly reminding him of his notorious habits. But how did they come a habit in the first place?

The idea of being in a relationship is nice, sure, but the commitment that comes with it? The idea of being dependent on someone? It's scary, vulnerable, and one that Jay can't picture for himself.

Maybe some people just aren't meant to be paired. Maybe some people, like Jay, like being independent and are meant to stay that way.

But Jay also likes affection. He likes the fleeting, warm feeling he gets every time he finds himself under someone's sheets. He likes the short-lived comfort he receives from someone else's touch, even though he knows it's going to cease to exist the second he steps out of those bedroom's doors. He just likes affection, simple as that.

That and he's a 19 year old teenage boy with needs, what did you expect?

And so what if he likes the idea of affection minus commitment? Is that so bad? Apparently it is, to people like his friends and the entirety of his school's campus, at least.

At this rate, he might as well pay someone to date him.

Wait. Jay lifts his head off the table's surface in realization.

He might as well pay someone to date him.

There's no harm in that, is there?

He wouldn't have to endure through an endless amount of dates to find someone he clicks with, then continue going on dates with said clicked person, all while trying to develop an actual, serious relationship.

He'll win the bet, get his physics homework done for an entire semester, and some lucky girl out there will be making profit for the small price of hanging out with Jay Park for three months.

And lucky for him, Jay knows the perfect candidate for this scheme.

Simple as that.

Just as long as said perfect candidate says yes.

And as long as Jake and Sunghoon don't find out. Or else Jay might really have to move to Switzerland after all.

You love your friends, you do.

Hana and Heeseung have been there for you when others haven't––they were by your side when you knew no one entering high school, and they were still by your side when you were all graduating said high school. Needless to say, you're eternally grateful for friends like them.

But right now, in this moment––with you seated in the middle of the campus' library, trying to write your essay, as your two friends blabber on and on about the most recent gossip across from you––your two friends could be your villain origin story.

But again, you love your friends, you do. So you don't have the heart to tell them to leave. You've managed to naturally tune out most of the conversation, anyways, for this––your friends coming to hang out while you're trying to study––is no rare occurrence by any means.

"Oh yeah, Jay Park texted me last night."

You hate how your brain's filter suddenly turns off at Hana's words.

You hate how your ears catch the sudden mention of Jay Park's name.

You hate how the thought of Jay Park gets to even occupy a single brain cell of yours.

You hate how you even know who Jay Park is. Well, knew.

Past tense. Because up until eighth grade––when Jay decided to just suddenly pretend you didn't exist––he was attached to you like a koala to a eucalyptus tree.

And if you had asked past Y/N, ideally, Jay would've never left your side. Ideally, he would've never left you to fend for yourself when entering high school. Ideally, he would've stayed your best friend through out all four years of high school and ideally, you would've eventually told him how you really felt about him after growing up with him all your life. And maybe it would've lead to a completely different story. But for the sake of this fic, we don't live in an ideal world.

So yes, if it wasn't for his attendance at the very same university as you, you would've forgotten about the boy who brought you the painful memories of your childhood.

And since the universe clearly doesn't work in your favor, avoiding Jay Park's existence like he's the plague would have to suffice. And it works.

For the most part.

Until some people, bring him up uninvited into your conversation. Like now, for example.

"When was the last time you guys talked anyways?" Heeseung mindlessly asks as he reaches across the table to grab one of the many snacks you usually bring to your study sessions.

"Uh..like a few weeks ago. Give or take. Whenever you threw your house party. Can't say there was much talking involved however," she teasingly says with a giggle and wiggle of her brows.

Heeseung's rolling his eyes as you scoff and chuck a nearby crumpled piece of paper that was once one of your many essay drafts at her.

She bats it away right as it's about to hit her face as she laughs. "Doesn't matter anyways. He ghosted me the next morning, as he does with everyone else. Telling you this now," she extends a finger right at you, "stay away from Jay Park. That kid's just bad news."

You nod in response, mentally telling her she has nothing to worry about.

Been there, done that.

College. Ah yes, the very concept of spending four years of your life imprisoned on a campus where you'll be tearing your hair out from stress and spending all your life's savings just for a laminated sheet of paper with a golden stamp at the end of it all. We live in a society.

Because of said college, and all the weight that comes along with it, you had adapted a strict daily schedule in order to not completely lose your mind. It's a simple schedule really, one of a typical college student who's just trying to get by everyday with as little mental breakdowns as possible.

Wake up, get ready, go to class, go to the library to do your homework, walk all the way across campus to get back to your dorm, shower, then sleep. Oh and eat, of course. And maybe if time permits, be an actual social being and socialize.

It's gotten you this far into the college life without dropping out so, you conclude, you must be doing something right.

Sometimes, if you're feeling nice to yourself, you'll tweak the schedule a bit to fit in some exceptions. Maybe squeeze in a little trip to the bubble tea shop that's on the other side of campus, or maybe get dinner at that one dining hall that you don't usually go to because of the unncessarily long lines (but because they serve ice cream, you go anyways). It doesn't matter what the exception is, you still plan it out to fit into your schedule somehow. Everything is planned out.

Sometimes, however, the universe disagrees with your schedule, to your demise. Such as today, for example.

Because what you didn't expect for today was for a particular blonde-haired boy who you haven't spoken to in almost six years (but who's counting?) to approach your table in the library––a table you were sure no one could find you at, as it was quietly tucked away in the back corner, right next to the Astrophysics shelves. Because who browses the Astrophysics aisle for fun? Actually, maybe Jake Sim would. Anyways.

You definitely didn't anticipate a visit from the boy you've been actively avoiding, so you definitely didn't expect the first words coming out of his mouth when he sees you for the first time in six years to be:

"Fake date me."

You blink up at him.

Yeah, definitely not expected.

But you only let it phase you for a split second, until you feel a slight annoyance beginning to bubble up deep inside of you.

"Wow, hello to you too Jay! It's been what––half a decade? Yeah I've been pretty good, thanks for asking!" The sarcasm is practically dripping off your tongue.

You don't know what runs through Jay's mind, but apparently it isn't common sense––or the ability to read the room. Because next thing you know, he's sliding the chair across from you out from underneath the table and making himself at home.

And he's smiling right at you.

Curse him and his smile.

But no, you're not giving into it.

Not yet, at least.

"What do you want?" You deadpan at him when he makes no sign of making the next move.

"A girlfriend," he deadpans right back at you, as if he was casually telling you what he wanted for dinner. As if you two were close-knit friends that could approach one another without any proper greeting. As if you two had kept your friendship all these years. As if you two even had a role in each other's lives.

"Can't help you there," you scoff, deciding to not even question his lack of manners on top of his uninvited presence.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why?"

"Well gee, seeing that the first few words you decided to say to my face for the first time in forever were a demand, a demand to date you no less, then....no," your monotone voice says as you keep your eyes focused on your laptop screen, not daring to look at the boy across from you.

In the Introduction to Sociology course you took your freshmen year, you had learned of one important term: interactional vandalism. Textbook definition being: "ignoring signals of disinterest in a conversation, leading it to an offense."

Your definition being: "are you oblivious or just plan dumb, read the room!"

This was interactional vandalism, alright. Whether Jay's truly oblivious or just trying to annoy you until your head explodes (it's really the former, but you're convinced it's the latter), he takes your signals of disinterest and tosses it right out of his head to continue the conversation.

"I'm stuck in this stupid bet with Jake--do you remember him? He bet me that I couldn't date someone for more than three months and I figured having someone fake date me would be easier than actually dating someone, right? That's where you come into the equation," he proposes as he leans back in his chair, as if he had just finished a sales pitch to a prospective customer looking to buy a car.

You couldn't believe this. You're 98% sure this has got to be a prank. You're mentally preparing for a camera crew to jump out from in-between the library's aisles any moment now and scream into your ears that you've just been punk'd!

The remaining 2% of you, however, wouldn't put it past the two boys to get themselves in such a situation. The last memory you had of Jay and his friends were pretty much their childish selves back in middle school. And by looking at the current scene unfolding in front of you...it's needless to say they haven't changed much.

"Again, can't help you there. Ask one of the many girlfriends I thought you had." Ouch.

"But Y/N, you've known me all your life--"

"Up until you dropped me a few years ago but sure, let's call it that."

"--and convincing other people is gonna make me look--"

"--desperate? Yeah."

"C'mon, Y/N. What do you have to lose anyways?"

"Uh..my dignity? Pride? Self-respect? Sorry Jay, not happening," you turn your attention back to your unwritten essay in front of you, mentally checking out of this conversation. This would be a good time for that camera crew to jump out now.

"Look, no one else is gonna do it, Y/N." Jay has always been stubborn, you suppose. But so are you.

"Yeah, because you've managed to push every being of the opposite gender away from you. You gave yourself this reputation in the first place," you give it to him straight. It's not like you had a relationship with him to uphold anyways––Jay himself broke that friendship years ago.

Jay hates that you're right.

You're always right. He remembers how he used to always go to you for advice and clarity on the world's biggest problems. Granted, the world's biggest problems to him at the time equated to what he should dress up as for the fifth grade Halloween party, but still. A tough decision, for the mind of a ten-year-old.

You abruptly stop typing and begin putting your laptop and textbooks away as you huff in frustration. There's no point in trying to get your work done now. The longer you stay arguing with Jay, the bigger your headache gets. The longer he continues to occupy any part of your brain, the bigger your headache gets.

Getting up from your seat, packed and ready to slam your head into your pillow, you turn to the blonde one last time.

"Look Jay. We went on our separate ways years ago. If you weren't so notoriously known around campus and my friends would stop talking about you, I would've long forgotten you. I'm sorry you're in this situation, really. If I were you, I'd just tell Jake I can't do it. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't get some innocent girl involved in whatever stunt of yours this is."

Jay stares at you, mouth agape, as you find your way out of the library and through the main doors. By the time he comes back to his senses, he realizes how he looks plain stupid––standing in the middle of the library, the look on his face screaming befuddlement, to say the least. Jay quickly makes his way out of the building, in hopes of convincing you one last time.

Jay catches sight of your figure already half-way down the walkway that connects the library to the main quad of your school's campus. Geez, you walk fast.

Not fast enough to outrun Jay's legs, however. If Jay running after you through the middle of campus in order to convince you to fake date him doesn't show how desperate he is to win this bet, I don't know what will.

"Wait, Y/N!"

You groan to yourself before turning to face the boy who can't seem to take a hint and leave you alone. You stare at his out-of-breath state as he heaves up and down from the slight jog he had to endure to get to where you are. If you're humored by him chasing after you, you do a good job of hiding it.

He meets your unimpressed state before stating his final proposition: "I'll pay you. Five hundred dollars."

You nearly stop breathing.

Now this catches your attention––after all, you're but a broke college student who's just trying to survive. And preferably not by feeding yourself instant ramen cups every night.

And so, naturally, you begin rethinking about the opportunity presented in front of you. You narrow your eyes at the boy as you weigh your options.

The first problem being, it's Jay Park––the bane of your very existence. You spent the last few years of your life pretending he didn't exist...for good reason. Not only did he do you dirty when you were merely a couple of 13-year-olds, but you just didn't want to be involved with someone like him. Someone known for his nature, someone who left your own current best friend ghosted. And not that Hana herself would care, for she has called herself the "female Jay Park", but you're sure this would be breaking some rule in the girl code handbook. Plus, if you agree to this, you'd be betraying 13-year-old Y/N, the one who decided to never speak to nor think of Jay Park again––which by now you've failed, but you get the gist.

Second problem being, three months is a long time. Three months is practically the rest of this semester, and did you really want to spend the rest of the semester tied down to the label of being Jay Park's girlfriend? There would have to be some negative connotations that came along with that title, right? No offense to Jay, but being his first girlfriend since, what, high school could make you come off as..naive, for lack of a better term. As if the only person you could settle for was Jay Park. As if you barely had any standards for yourself. Again, no offense to Jay.

Needless to say, if your school's debate club had to argue on why you shouldn't be doing this, you're sure the negating side could win with these two reasons alone.

But before you're rejecting the boy currently standing in front of you one last time, you find yourself mentally listing rebuttals.

First of all, you'd be getting paid. And again, you're merely but a college student living the stereotypical broke college student life––burdened by the costs of tuition, textbooks, and midnight McDonalds runs for when you're out of aforementioned instant ramen cups. Five hundred dollars could provide you with more than enough chicken McNuggets to last you the semester, and maybe some more to treat yourself to an online shopping spree.

Second of all, it's not like you were going to do anything better with your next three months anyways. It's safe to say you were too busy being a diligent student to actually look for anyone to date, per say. And if anything, having a fake boyfriend might actually be helpful in your case. Your mom would be off your ass about how you're still single, for one. And two, your friends (though it's really just Heeseung) would stop trying to hook you up on blind dates with guys that you would choose Jay Park over any day (and that really says something).

Third of all, it's Jay Park. As much as you despise the kid, you still know him. He's not a complete stranger to you, no matter how much you try to deny it. It could be worse, it could be a complete rando asking you to date him. At least you two have some sort of history, which would take care of the typical small talk and getting to know each other bit of this equation. And truth be told, you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't a tad bit satisfied by the fact that Jay chose you, of all people, to pull off this stunt with him. You don't know if it's the nostalgia of your childhood memories rushing back to you, but it reminds you of the endless schemes you two used to plan behind your parents' backs all the time. Granted, your childhood schemes––such as the both of you faking sickness so you could skip school together––don't even fall close to being in a fake relationship with one another, but still. It's the thought that counts.

All of those reasons plus, Jay isn't the worst to look at. He may have a spoiled reputation, but at least he has his looks going for him, you'll give him that (you're still secretly wondering when and how did he get his glow up, but don't tell him that).

And so by the guidelines of a college student's logic that states the pros outweigh the cons, you come to the overarching conclusion that maybe, this won't be so awful after all.

"Five hundred?" You ask, just for clarification. Jay's immediately nodding at your words. You continue to ponder on your thoughts as he stares at you hopefully.

The silent atmosphere of your campus heightens the tension so much, you swear you're in one of those overdramatic pausing scenes that occur too many times in k-dramas.

You sigh, then nod.

"Okay," you're internally praying that you won't regret this decision. "I'm in."

The next time you see Jay is at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building that's home to your awfully long Capitalism in the Western World class.

You're going down the steps of the building, mentally deciding where and what you're going to treat yourself to for lunch––as the three hour lecture you had just attended drained all the life and energy out of you––when you hear the slight call of your name.

Turning to the source, you're met with a waving Jay, leaning against the passenger's side of his car, parked in front of the lecture hall building you were currently leaving.

Great.

You walk over to where he's casually waiting––he's unaware of all the stares he's attracted from fellow students leaving the same lecture as you. Can you blame them? It's not everyday you see a sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition pull up in front of your Friday afternoon lecture. It's not everyday you see Jay Park waiting for anyone outside of his said sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition.

"Hi," you simply let out as you plant yourself in front of him, not sure whether or not to question him why are you here? Surely, he wasn't waiting for you?

"Hi," he smiles down at you. There's a beat of silence. "I was waiting for you."

Bingo.

"Oh. What are you, my chauffeur?" You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Maybe. I am your boyfriend, after all," he says into the air, loud and clear, as if he wanted people to hear. Well that is the point, you suppose.

But still, all you want to do is smack the smirk right off his face.

Before you have time to put your next question into words, he answers it for you.

"I'm taking you out for lunch," he declares as if you have nothing else planned for the day. Well, to be fair, you didn't have anything else planned for the day. Except for your usual library run. But you figure the library could wait.

"Oh, like on a date?" You raise your eyebrows teasingly at him as you get into the car, Jay holding the door wide open for you. "Is Jay Park treating me to lunch as a date?"

Jay fights the scowl (or is that a smile?) growing on his face as he bends down to meet your eye level from inside the car. "Don't flatter yourself, princess. We've got fake lives to live."

"Call me princess one more time and you won't have a real life to live," you flash him a sarcastic smile and slam the door in his face.

Jay meets his own shocked reflection on the passenger's side window.

Cute.

"When you said you were taking me out to lunch, I expected like...I don't know...the diner on campus. Not whatever this is," you mutter to Jay as the two of you are brought to your table by a waitress at an upscale sushi restaurant, one that is undoubtedly out of your usual budget, but for sure an upgrade from your dining hall's pizza you were planning to have. You should've figured as much, the drive here was a little more than out of the way from campus, and who are you kidding, it's Jay Park you're eating with.

You stare down at your current outfit, which consisted of a hoodie you've owned since your junior year of high school and leggings that you threw on without second thought this morning––because you didn't exactly wake up and decide I'm going to go to a fancy sushi bar for lunch today!

"Why are we here anyways?" You ask him when you're both settled in your seats and the waitress walks away after listing the chef's specials for the day.

"Oh, they have killer dragon rolls here, you have to try it," Jay tells you nonchalantly as his eyes rake the menu in front of him, blocking your view of him.

How dense can one be? Your hand snatches his menu as you stare into his unamused eyes.

"No, Jay. I mean, why are we here? It's not like anyone's around to see us put on a show anyways."

"Oh. I figured," Jay's quick to grab the menu back from out of your hands as he continues, "that we should sit down and establish how exactly we're going to deliver this performance. After all, you're stuck with me for the next three months."

Again, smacking the smirk currently resting on his face would satisfy you beyond relief. Just once.

"If I drop out halfway through, do I still get $250?" You tease, leaning back.

"Ha ha. Funny. No," he narrows his eyes at you from across the table. "It's all or nothing."

You dramatically huff to make a show just for his annoyance.

"Worth a try. But sure, let's solidify this. What's the game plan?" You sit up in your seat, leaning over the table as if the two of you were hosting a secret meeting.

"It's simple really," Jay mirrors your actions, face leaning in close to where yours is hovering over the table. "Just pretend to be deeply in love with me for three months, and try not to actually be charmed by my cunning looks."

If someone gave you five dollars for every time you've already rolled your eyes at him today, you wouldn't even need to be in this deal for the five hundred dollars.

"Wow, smooth. Can I just remind you you're the one paying a girl to be in a fake relationship with you because you're just not competent enough to find an actual girlfriend?" You lean back, arms crossing over your figure.

Jay, unfazed, laughs, tongue briefly hitting the inside of his cheek. "Touché."

Your eyes go back to the menu in front of you as a silence falls over the table. Because you're not a loaded trust fund baby who comes to fancy five-star sushi restaurants for lunch on a daily, you don't recognize half of the entree names on the menu. You spot the dragon roll Jay suggested, but seeing that a basic California roll is less expensive, your natural broke-college-student-instincts figure the California roll shall do.

"Okay, in all seriousness," Jay begins as he puts his menu down. "It's simple really. We'll just go on weekly dates and post cute pictures of each other once in a while and a little after three months, I'll just say it didn't work out. I'll give you the five hundo and boom, we move on with our lives."

It's clear Jay's put some thought into this. Safe to say he's put more effort planning this out than the amount of work he's been putting into his classes. Someone's got their priorities straight.

You're impressed to say the least––you figured Jay would just be the kind to go with the flow and wait for the situation to unfold on its own and maybe blow up into flames. But seeing as he was just as serious about winning this bet as you were with making five hundred dollars, your doubts about this entire situation were slowly withering away.

Don't get it wrong, though, you still despise him. To an extent, at least.

"And don't worry about the dates. I'll pay on your behalf, as the loving, doting boyfriend I am," Jay finishes with a wide, cheesy smile you can't help but return a growing smile back at.

"Well then, as the loving, doting girlfriend I am, I shall gift you coffee, breakfast, all that fun couple stuff, whenever you please. Or maybe unannounced, if I'm feeling nice," you figure you should pitch in as much if he's paying for all your dates. And deep down, you find the idea kinda cute. But don't tell anyone that.

"Wow, look at us. We should become Dispatch's couple of the year already!" Jay exclaims, earning himself a small giggle from you, which pleases him to say the least. He thinks that maybe when this is all over, he'll hopefully make a good friend (well, for the second time) out of it.

And you're thinking that maybe the next three months won't be as bad as you initially had thought.

As the two of you delve deep into a debate about who would be the better significant other to each other, the waitress comes over to take your orders.

And because you're laughing and Jay's brightly smiling at you from across the table, you order the dragon roll.

The second time Jay takes you out––this time he gives you a heads up to get ready––it's at a, once again, high-class steakhouse.

The third time, you insist on the on-campus diner that's popular amongst the student population. Partially because you feel bad for the amount of money he's spent on you (even though he couldn't care less), but mostly because if you have to put on another fancy dress to just eat an overpriced meal that doesn't even fully satisfy your hunger, you might lose your mind.

And by this third time, Jake is aware of this newly blossomed relationship.

"Three dates! I didn't know you had it in you, going on three dates with the same girl!" Jake excitedly exclaims as he jumps into the empty spot on Jay's dorm bed and shoves his phone's screen into Jay's face.

The smaller screen displays Jay's most recent Instagram post: an image of you sitting behind your too-small-to-be-this-expensive-steak and smiling right into Jay's camera––a memory that brings a smile to his face:

~ ~ ~

"C'mon! We said Instagram posts would be a part of the deal! How else can we convince people we're dating?" A pout rests on Jay's face as he stares at you from across the table in the middle of the extravagantly decorated restaurant he picked out for your second date. You remember your eyes bulging out of their own sockets when you saw the "$$$$$" rating Yelp gave the place when you searched it up earlier.

"Okay, okay! One picture," you give in, already slightly annoyed that you were here instead of the comfort of your own bed, where you could be rewatching your favorite Netflix show for the third time. But because you made a deal and because you're desperate for money, you had to follow through––so here you were.

You flash an unconvincing smile to Jay's camera, which doesn't satisfy him, to say the least. "At least pretend you're somewhat enjoying this date," he frowns at you.

You sigh, until a thought crosses your mind and a smile grows on your face. "Only if you get me boba afterwards."

He narrows his eyes at you, but then meets your smile. "Sure, whatever you want. But only because I've been craving some mango milk tea lately."

"You're a fruit milk tea kind of guy? Sorry, but I might have to fake break-up with you," you tease as you take a sip of your overpriced drink to go with your overpriced meal.

Jay scoffs, feigning hurt by placing his hand over his heart. "Ouch. But before you break up with me, let me get this Instagram post in."

"Wow. Your priorities are so straight," you roll your eyes at him, eliciting a cheeky smile from him as he watches you through his held up phone screen.

"3,2,1."

"Hey, I wasn't ready! That was like mid-laugh!" You reach over the table to grab the phone, but not quick enough for him to put his phone back into his pants' pocket.

"Nope, nuh uh," he laughs as you quickly sit back down into your seat, not wanting to cause a scene in an establishment as proper as this one.

"It's fine. It's a good picture, you look cute," he casually lets out, unaware of the blush rising to the surface of your cheeks, thanks to the fact that you were suddenly interested in playing with the left-over food on your plate.

"Jay! Delete it, I'll let you take another one," you whine from your seat, imagining just how bad a candid picture of you could be.

"Ugh, fine. Ever so picky." He playfully rolls his eyes at you as he takes his phone out and opens the camera app as you prepare yourself.

"Okay, how's this?" Jay turns the phone screen to you after he takes a few snaps on his phone.

"I approve," you grin at him as he goes through the pictures himself, unaware of the smile growing on his face.

"Okay now delete the first one," you point your finger at him, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Okay, okay! Bossy," he laughs as he raises in hands in surrender.

When Jay gets home that night, he recovers the image from his Recently Deleted folder, telling himself it's for the sake of the memory.

Obviously.

~ ~ ~

"It's not that big of a deal," Jay mutters from his spot as his eyes go from the Instagram post to his Exile and Belonging in Modern Literature reading that's due tomorrow, bright yellow highlighter in hand. Typically, you'd find the reading buried deep at the bottom of his school backpack. But because Jay ran into you this morning and because he complained to you about the amount of work he's fallen behind on and because you had threatened him to do his work or else you're not going on another date––a fake date that is––with him, he figured he should at least get one reading done and annotated, despite his strong dislike for highlighters (they hurt his eyes, okay?)

What he doesn't know, however, is how your threat was completely full of bluff––but don't tell him that.

"It is so a big deal, for you at least!" Jake hops off the bed and lands on the wooden floors of Jay's dorm room so hard, Jay winces and sends a mental apology to the poor person who lives below him.

Jake suddenly gasps. "I have to meet her, Jay! As your best friend, it's practically mandatory that I meet her."

Jay opens his mouth to protest, but not before Jake interrupts him once again. "Oh! We can bring Sunghoon too, it'll be so fun! The best friends meet the girlfriend."

Jay can't think of anything worst. Jay imagines that bringing you to meet his best friends would just intimidate you out of dating him––fake dating him, that is. Obviously.

He stares at his friend in agony then back at the reading in front of him––the one Jake said he'd come over to help annotate, but the intention completely left Jake's head the second he heard about Jay's recent dating life.

"You don't have to meet her," Jay says pointedly. "Plus, you already know her."

Jake frowns at his friend's excuse. "Yeah, but that was in middle school! This is different."

Jay's hands shuffle through the reading's pages in front of him as he realizes there's no way the two of them are going to finish the assignment at this point. He supposes he'll have to save death by blindness from highlighters for another day and hope you still agree to go out with him.

Jake suddenly gasps in realization.

"Oh my gosh! Childhood best friends turned college sweethearts," Jake says so dreamily, he might as well plaster heart eyes on. Hopeless romantic, this one.

Before Jay can argue, the piercing sound of three loud knocks echo through the small room, followed with a:

"Jay, are you in? It's me!"

Jay stills at the sound of your sweet voice. He whips his head to Jake, who is also frozen in place.

But the widened-eye boy is quick to come to his senses––unfortunately quicker than Jay himself––because the next thing Jay knows, Jake's eyes are lighting up and he's running to the door, ignoring Jay's screaming whispers through this seething teeth that were somewhere along the lines of Jake––stop, I swear to god if you open that door I'm gonna fucking--

"Y/N!" Jake swings the door wide open, revealing an overly excited him and a frozen Jay half-way to the door, as if he was about to grab the very boy welcoming you in. It's as if we're living in a Sims game and the player clicked pause on this very moment.

Jake's eyes are wildly going back and forth between you and your supposed boyfriend, as if he was waiting for Jay to run over and smother you in hugs and kisses...or something couple-y like that. Jay wouldn't know.

"Uh––hi," you're awkwardly standing inside the room now, a relatively large paper brown bag resting in your palms as you look around for a surface to place it on. Jay makes his way to you without a second thought, quickly taking the bag out of your hold.

"You seemed stressed out earlier, so I figured I could bring you some food as a little pick me up. I didn't know what you liked, so I kinda just got a little of everything from the dining hall. Nothing fancy," you're rambling, but smiling so excitedly at him, Jay doesn't know what to say.

Instead, his mouth slightly drops open as he stares at you in awe, mostly because he's not used to being on the receiving end of such spontaneously generous actions––all while Jake's still excitedly looking back and forth between the two of you, as if he was expecting a marriage proposal to come next.

"Oh wow. Thank you. Really," Jay, still touched by your simple act of kindness, softly says as he places the bag on the limited amount of empty space on his desk surface––the rest of it is covered with his untouched textbooks and unfinished assignments. He wonders if you did this out of playing your role or just because you wanted to. He internally hopes it's the latter. "Seriously, you didn't have to do."

"Nah, don't worry. I wanted to," you shrug with such a genuine smile that Jay realizes he actually missed your smile.

Despite having seen you during your brief run-in this morning when you were fetching your morning coffee, Jay realizes he missed you. The two of you haven't been seeing each other recently because of your busy schedule and if Jay didn't realize it before, he's now sure he missed your company and presence around.

Weird.

"Well, you two have fun! Sunghoon needs me for something," Jake suddenly chirps from his place near the front door, halfway through with putting his shoes on already, breaking the comforting silence that fell between the two of you.

Jay frowns. "But you said you were free all da––"

"SUNGHOON IS CALLING BYE!" And before Jay can even register what's happening, Jake's out the door without another word.

"Er..sorry about him, he's...weird," Jay scratches the back of his neck as he returns to his spot on his bed, mentally setting a reminder to yell at Jake later for leaving the two of you alone. Jay doesn't know exactly why, but he's nervous at the fact that you're here in his room. It's not like you two are complete strangers––or whatever you guys were before––anymore. "Good job on your part, though. How'd you know Jake was here?"

"Oh uh, I didn't"," you let out an awkward laugh. "I just felt like doing it."

Heat rushes to Jay's cheeks and he's not sure 1) what this newfound feeling is and 2) how to respond, yet again.

Having expecting you to leave after dropping the food off, Jay's taken by surprise when you take your shoes off and come over to his bed to look at the pile of work he's spread out.

"Is this everything you have to do?" You question the stressed-out boy as you flip through the various assignments, readings, and essays he put off in the past week.

"More or less," he groans. This is no rare occurrence by any means––Jay being behind in his work––but this time, Jay realizes he may actually be in deep shit, considering he has no idea where to begin.

Right as Jay's expecting a scolding from you, he looks up to meet a look of sympathy on your face. "Well, I mean, I'm pretty much done with my day. I can try to help, I recognize some of these readings from last semester."

Jay thinks to himself that the universe has sent him an angel through the form of you.

"Really? Wow, you were't kidding when you said you'd be a good girlfriend," he sends you a surprised look.

"I'm just being nice, Jay. A concept I'm sure you're not familiar with," you remark back at him, causing his forming smile to grow into a laugh.

"I can too be nice! Need I remind you of who's paying you $500, covering all of our dates AND giving you rides to class everyday?" He remarks pointedly at you, a teasing look resting in his eyes as you're reminded of the first of many times he's come to pick you up before class:

~ ~ ~

You're late.

This never happens.

But then again, your life's been a series of unexpected occurrences lately. Such as the fact that you're currently known as Jay Park's girlfriend, for one.

You're scrambling out of bed once you take one look at your phone and realize shit, you're already late for class. Throwing on whatever articles of clothing your eyes land on first, you're already mentally groaning at the fact that you'll have to skip breakfast and run across your campus to get to said class.

Curse your professor for hosting her lecture at the furthest possible building away from your dorm. Curse the architect who decided to make your campus so large.

You're running down the steps outside of your dorm building's doors when you're abruptly stopped by a familiar sounding cough. You look up from trying to gather all your belongings together at once to meet the gaze of the source of the sound––Jay.

"Wow, you're a mess," he smirks as he gets up from the spot on his car he was leaning against to make his way over to you.

"Gee, thanks! Good morning to you too," you flash him a sarcastic smile before your default frown quickly makes it way back onto your face.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?" He grins as he grabs hold of your backpack to sling it across his own back as the two of you walk towards his car.

"Why are you here, Jay?" you sigh, your sarcastic tone hard to miss.

"To give you a ride to class, of course!" He's beaming at you, as if he's a pre-pubescent teen who just won their first girlfriend a prize from the arcade's claw machine.

Oh. That explains the car, you figure. Deep down inside, you're relieved that you'll no longer be bursting through the lecture hall's doors as a sweaty mess––a result of having to run across campus to get to class.

Determined to not let your satisfaction completely show, you resort with a little smile directed towards Jay as he opens the passenger door for you.

The second your enter Jay's car, the strong scent of coffee hits you, and your attention is targeted at the two small cups of coffee sitting in the cupholders of the car.

"Breakfast?" Jay asks as he enters through the driver's side and reaches into the backseat to whip out a small pastry bag. A small, deliciously smelling, pastry bag.

Okay, well. You suppose you could drop the annoyed act now.

Your eyes widen with joy as you grab the bag from him and open it to reveal your favorite breakfast sandwich. He's been taking notes, you'll give him that point.

"Okay, you win. Thank you," you grace him with a soft smile before taking a bite into the glorious gift in your hands.

"Of course, I was just feeling nice," he grins at you as he starts his car. "But don't get used to it." His tone is serious, but his smile directed towards you says differently.

And the fact that he still showed up to drive you to class the next morning.

And the next.

~ ~ ~

"And need I remind you who has to date your dumb ass for the $500 in question?" Your eyes narrow at the boy who can't seem to get that damn smile off his face.

Jay sticks his tongue out at you, ending the conversation. Really Jay? What are you, five? Well, mentally––probably.

You're looking around his minuscule dorm room for a place to sit down, and Jay can't help but feel embarrassed now that you're here, in his messy single studio room that pretty much reflects how Jay treats every other responsibility of his oh so hard life: neglected.

"Uh...here, you can sit on my bed," Jay immediately offers as he moves to the side to make room for your presence––and it isn't much, considering the university only provided him a twin XL bed which is definitely not built for two grown college-aged kids.

If you told yourself a few weeks ago that you'd be shoulder to shoulder on a bed belonging to the guy you cringed at the very thought of, you wouldn't have believed yourself. You wouldn't have believed yourself if you said you were actually glad Jay let you stay instead of kicking you out after delivering the food. Huh.

Weird.

"You know, this kinda reminds me of when we were kids. I always carried us through those horrible multiplication tests in the fifth grade," you wink at him as you settle in the spot next to him, hands grabbing hold of the papers in his lap.

Jay let out a laugh, nudging your shoulder with his. "Hey! The twelve times table is hard, okay?"

You roll your eyes at him––a habit of yours he's noticed whenever the two of you are together, but more recently, he thinks it's been more out of fun than annoyance.

He wonders why.

When Jay had first brought up the idea of bringing you as his date to his father's company dinner, you had expected a fairly fancy five-star restaurant with a formal dress code––for you've become accustomed to Jay's lifestyle. Turns out, your expectations can continue to be exceeded. Because what you had expected to be a simple dinner with a few other business men and women turned out to be an entire party, hosted in a hotel whose interior resembled something close to a castle (Or what you assume a castle looks like, as you've never personally been into a castle yourself, but this hotel is close enough).

Your eyes sparkle at the extravagant columns and diamond chandeliers hanging high above you, and Jay smiles at the expression on your face; like a little girl being brought to the amusement park for the first time ever.

"Wow, this is...wow," you mutter as you drink in the scene in front of you: people dressed in formal attire likewise to yours and Jay's, mingling and drinking what you imagine to be beverages that cost more than your entire life's worth.

Jay laughs from behind you, "Yeah the company goes a little...extra when it comes to these company dinners."

You scoff as you look up at him. "Oh really, you don't say?" You look around and you're suddenly aware of the many people surrounding the two of you and the attention you've acquired ever since entering the building.

"Jay, people are staring." You shuffle closer to him, your voice lowering down to a whisper.

"Well, it's not everyday the son of the company's CEO brings his girlfriend with him, so...looks like we'll be the talk of the party tonight. Smiles on," he winks at you, and you just know he's loving the attention the two of you are receiving right now.

"Jay Park? Is that you?" You hear a warm voice call out from behind the two of you.

The two of you turn around to meet the owner of the voice, a middle-aged woman dressed in an evening gown that matches the pattern of high-end brands you've been recognizing ever since arriving.

"Mrs. Lee! It's so nice seeing you again," Jay cheerily addresses the woman as the two of you bow in greeting.

You internally giggle at the thought of your Jay being so picture-perfect in the eyes of his father's co-workers.

"This is Y/N," he continues, his hand finding its way to your back, protectively resting it there as you go to introduce yourself. "My girlfriend."

You swear you feel goosebumps rise from where he's lightly touching you, and more so when he introduces you as his girlfriend.

You tell yourself it's just your nerves. Yes, that's it, you're just nervous. I mean, you're in a room filled with people who could easily pay off all your college loans with just a snap of their fingers, who wouldn't be nervous? Right? Right.

"Y/N! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you!" Mrs. Lee excitedly exclaims as you turn to Jay with a slightly confused look plastered on your face. He mirrors your expression as he shrugs, moving to stand behind you completely, bringing his hands to rest lowly at your hips.

His hands feel like feathers on the thin fabric of your evening gown, so light, so delicate, as if he's unsure if he's crossing a line. It leaves you wanting more, wanting to naturally lean against him and his warmth. You quick to shake the thought of your head as Mrs. Lee chirps up again.

"Jay's father is always talking about how you've been keeping Jay pleasantly busy nowadays! Good thing too, about time this poor boy settle down for someone as beautiful as you," the woman rambles on as you feel a blush creep up on your cheeks at the thought of Jay talking about you to his dad. If only they knew.

"We should probably go find our seats, I think the dinner is beginning soon," Jay says from behind you, saving the two of you from having to listen to Mrs. Lee's story of how she's known Jay ever since he was five years old and seeing him grow into this mature, loving, young man is so amazing. Oh look! I have baby pictures.

Yeah, he was more so saving himself from embarrassment.

The two of you bid your goodbyes before Jay gently uses the hand on your back to maneuver you through the crowd of socializing business moguls.

"She's not wrong, you know," you feel Jay dip his head so he's speaking near your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe, as the two of you make your way through the large foyer room.

"Hm?" You hum in question, turning your head up just enough to be able to make eye contact with him as he responds to your look of confusion.

"You look beautiful tonight," he says, eye contact not breaking once. You freeze in your steps.

You stare back at him in silence. Oh.

Your mind is panicking as it flips through your mental book of responses, unsure of what to say back. But because your mind is cloudy from staring at a put-together Jay in a dark navy suit to match your dress (mixed with the nervous butterflies in your stomach––have they always been there?), the only sound that's able to leave your lips is the small stutter of a:

"Huh?"

Wow Y/N, you had one job. A simple "thank you" could've sufficed! And you went with "Huh"?

You felt like a fifth grader who just learned from a friend of a friend of a friend that their crush likes them back.

"U-um. Mrs. Lee. What she said about you. You look good, really," somehow your nervousness made its way over to Jay now––his eyes flickering from yours to anywhere, anything, else in the room––the awkward tension growing tenfold each second.

Goddamnit Y/N, this is just Jay you're talking to, get a grip.

You're knocked back into reality when he slightly nudges your back to continue making your way to the main ball room, where the dinner is being held.

"Is that a compliment from the Jay Park?" Your smirk can't be seen by Jay, since he's still trailing behind you, but he can definitely hear it through your tone.

"Don't make me take it back," he chuckles, his words felt against your neck, leaving behind a tingly sensation you're not sure why you're feeling. You're glad he's behind you, so he isn't able to see the blush creeping onto your face for the second time tonight.

Jay gives a small nod to the people behind the check-in desk stationed at the entrance as the two of you waltz right into a large ball room lined with countless circular dining tables. So much for a small business dinner.

As the two of you approach one of the tables placed at the front of the room, you notice a familiar figure seated next to the seats reserved for you and Jay.

"Y/N!" Jake exclaims as he gets up from his seat to greet the both of you. "I'm so glad you made it, Jay was so excited to bring you tonight. Deadass would not stop talking about it."

Jay lets out a noise that falls somewhere between a cough and a goose being strangled, his widened eyes warning his talkative friend to just shut up. He's silently cursing the company for always seating his and Jake's family at the same table for these events.

"Aw, is that so? He's lucky he's cute or else I wouldn't have agreed," you grin, winking at your assumed boyfriend sitting next to you.

"Hey, YOU were the one excited to come! I recall a certain someone's face lighting up when I suggested we go shopping for tonight," Jay immediately retorts.

"Only because you were buying," you giggle, causing Jake to laugh as well.

"Damn, Jay. Tough," Jake jokingly adds as you laugh alongside him. The scowl sitting on Jay's face expresses the opposite of what he's feeling right now: warmth filling him up from the sound of your laughter and the image of you getting along so well with his best friend.

"I'm gonna get us some drinks, you two have fun making fun of me," Jay narrows his eyes at the two of you as he gets up from his seat. You bid him off with a smile before turning back to Jake.

"No but really though, this boy would not stop talking about you coming tonight. Then again, he doesn't really ever stop talking about you," Jake nonchalantly says, not knowing how much he was exposing his friend to you right now.

You raise an eyebrow up in response, "Oh really?"

"Seriously! I don't know what you did to him, Y/N, but this Jay I've been seeing recently is new. He complains a lot less about life nowadays, especially on the days he sees you," he leans back in his chair as his comment brings a smile to your face. Little does he know.

You stretch your neck up to find the boy in question and spot him right as he's returning to your shared table, two drinks in hand. You lock eyes with him from across the room and without a second thought, you're giving him a genuine smile that he's immediately returning.

Your heart beats faster at the view.

You wonder why.

It's 3:07AM when you hear the first ding.

You're not 100% sure as of why you're awake at this hour on a Tuesday night––perhaps a combination of your restless thoughts and feelings not letting you sleep plus the typical stress that comes hand-in-hand with the life of a college student.

It's 3:09AM when you hear the second ding, and you brush it off, assuming it was just Heeseung spamming you with memes again––something he does often when he also can't sleep (you found this out the hard way).

It's still 3:09AM when you hear the third ding, and at 3:10AM , you finally reach over and decide to acknowledge the being who's bothering you at this godforsaken hour.

Jay [3:07AM]: Y/N

Jay [3:09AM]: hi

Jay [3:09AM]: r u awake rn

Y/N [3:10AM]: unfortunately so

Y/N [3:11AM]: why are you up

Jay [3:11AM]: come outside

Y/N [3:13AM: jay it's 3am

Jay [3:13AM]: ye and? don't tell me ur a college student with a curfew

Jay [3:14AM]: plus im alrdy waiting for u outside so u have no choice

Jay [3:15AM]: :)

You groan at your bright phone screen currently illuminating your dark dorm room.

You ponder the consequences you may have to suffer tomorrow if you stay up any later than you already have. But considering the fact that you're probably just going to stay awake lying in bed for god knows how long anyways, why not?

(And you would like to point out that this decision has nothing to do with the fact that you haven't seen Jay in a few days and that maybe a tiny, tiny, tiny, part of you may have missed his presence. Nothing.)

And since that logic is obviously valid (you really gotta work on justifying your life choices), you're suddenly grabbing a hoodie from your closet and hoping it'll be enough to keep you, who's merely in an old band t-shirt from high-school and pajama shorts, warm.

The breeze hits your skin the second you open the doors to your dorm's building, and you're met with the view of Jay's sleek, black BMW that probably costs more than your tuition. He waves at you from the driver's seat, motioning for you to get in.

"To what do I owe you the pleasure at this hour," you deadpan at him with a stone-cold voice as you enter through the passenger's side door, hoping your tone was enough to hide the fact that you're giddy at the fact he invited you out at 3AM in the morning. Like a high-school girl sneaking out of her house to meet up with her bad-boy boyfriend that her parents dislike.

The second you enter his car, you're instantly comforted by the warm air blasting through his vents and his playlist softly playing in the background. Jay's pajama pants and messy hair give you more than enough information to know that he probably just rolled out of his own bed as well. You don't know why, but your view: Jay in his oversized hoodie with his unkept hair in front of your dorm building at 3AM on a Tuesday night, gives you comfort in weird ways you can't explain even if you tried.

But it's obviously just your cloudy, 3AM mind not thinking straight. Obviously.

"When I can't sleep, I go on drives around campus. It helps clear my mind," he says, looking over at you to give you a quick smile before starting his car. "Plus, SnapMap said you were still awake, so...figured you'd wanna join."

"Oh so what, you're my stalker now? You're not driving to the woods to kill me now, are you?" You tease, an eyebrow brought up. Jay lets out a laugh from beside you as he begins to drive further into your campus.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see," he throws you a wink before reverting his gaze back to the road, mindlessly driving to wherever the road decides to take him.

A comfortable silence falls in between the two of you as Jay continues to drive endless routes around your campus. You look over to the boy driving next to you and take in his features––you don't know what changed, but you no longer feel the same anger or annoyance bubbling within you when you're around him. You're not sure when this changed, but you figure it's just the effect of desensitization. After all, you've been spending so much time with him, you're bound to get used to it. Right?

"Why were you up?" Jay finally asks after a few minutes of just the two of you silently basking in each other's presences.

"Ah, you know. The usual. Endless thoughts running through my mind, stress from school, nothing new," you sign, giving him a soft smile followed with a shrug.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You answer him with silence as you search your head for the answer.

"I don't know. This is kinda weird, isn't it?" You don't know why you get a sudden surge of confidence, but before you can stop yourself, you find yourself rambling on. "If you had told me a month ago that I'd be here driving around with you when it's nearly 4AM, I would've laughed in your face."

Jay doesn't know whether to laugh or scoff. "Is the idea of hanging out with me that unappealing to you?"

You give him a serious look back. "I mean, up until a month ago when you needed me for whatever this game is, you literally pretended I didn't exist."

Oh. Awkward.

You freeze at your own words, mentally screaming at yourself for letting the words leave your mouth. Why, why, why.

"Y/N..." Jay says after clearing his throat after a few seconds of silence.

"No it's fine, it was a joke," you awkwardly cough and direct your attention to anything else around you right now. The view of your campus' buildings zooming by. The clicking of Jay's blinker when he switches lanes. The quiet roaring of his car's engine. The nervous tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel.

The rest of the ride is excruciatingly silent as he exits the main road and into an empty parking lot of some administration building made out of glass that has too many floors for you to count.

You don't know why you feel your heart beating in your throat as Jay puts the car into park––why you feel uneasy. You slightly turn towards him in your seat, hoping to pick up any sign of well...anything from him.

You don't know why you feel a twinge of guilt––it's not like what you said was necessarily wrong. If you were being honest, you were slightly bothered by how the two of you seemed to silently agree not to mention your past all this time. You were always one to seek answers, to seek closure. You couldn't help but bring it up––Jay was your best friend during those years. For him to just wake up one day and pretend you were nothing to him hurt you, and you couldn't help but still wonder what in the world you did to initiate his actions.

"I'm sor–" You're interrupted with his timid voice, as if he was almost afraid to speak.

"I'm not good with people." He's nibbling on his bottom lip, fingers nervously picking at a spot on the steering wheel.

You're opening and closing your mouth, unsure how to respond. You're 100% positive you look like a fish right now. Good for you.

"I don't know why. Jake calls it commitment issues but in order to have commitment, people have to stay in my life. And people just...don't. They're all bound to leave at some point. So what's the point of putting in effort into relationships if they're just going to leave you at the end?"

You're stunned by his sudden confession, not having been prepared for such a heavy topic to arise between the two of you. Up until tonight, your interactions had always been light-hearted and easy––you guys got along well. You didn't know this is how he felt all along.

But you knew where he was coming from.

You knew what Jay had gone through as a child––his mother having left him and his dad when he was young. You remember when your parents had told you the news at the young age of 13, and you remember the pain and sorrow you felt for your then friend. All you wanted to do was go to him and comfort him, but he had already cut you out from his life by then.

"Or maybe I'm the problem. My dad barely acknowledges my existence because he thinks giving me an allowance is all the parenting I need, my friends probably only stick around because they feel bad for me, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the bet, and, fuck, I'm literally known as the campus' fuckboy," Jay continues, falling deeper and deeper into the hole he dug himself.

He hates this, he hates opening up and feeling vulnerable, so he doesn't know why he's doing it now. He doesn't know why he feels comfortable voicing out his fears and worries when he's around you. But he does know it's a new feeling––one he doesn't know how to deal with.

"Jay," you lace your voice with as much comfort as you can provide. None of this is his fault, you want to tell him. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything," he says with a hint of bitterness and you can't tell if it's directed towards you or the topic at hand.

You're completely turned in your seat now to face him––despite the fact that he refuses to meet your gaze, afraid that looking at you is gonna bring out the most vulnerable in him. "You can talk to me. Talking about it makes it a lot easier. I'll always be here for you, as a friend."

Jay doesn't know what it is or why, but something in him snaps at the sound of a certain word falling out of your lips. Friend. Friend.

Friends don't make his heart beat nervously whenever he's around them. Friends don't keep him up at 3AM in the morning, pondering about his feelings for them. Friends don't provide him with this new, warm comfort he's become accustomed to whenever he's around you.

Deep down, Jay knows you didn't mean to add fuel to the fire. But because he's strong-headed, stubborn, and hates how vulnerable he feels next to you, he unleashes his emotions without thinking about the destruction coming along.

"It's none of your business, Y/N. Forget I said anything. You're just a toy for this stupid game and when it's all over we can go back to our own lives and forget this ever happened."

His sudden words cut deep, but they hurt him more than you. The second the words tumble out of his mouth, he's hit with the feeling of instant regret washing over him, and the lump forming in his throat restricts him from finding the right words to take them back.

The silence that falls between the two of you this time is different. It's a cold silence. A loud silence.

Jay feels his walls coming back up around him––the ones you managed to get through––and all he wants to do is apologize but he's terrified. Terrified of seeing your reaction, terrified of losing you again. For the second time.

You tell yourself he doesn't mean it. You tell yourself that he's just enduring more pain that one should ever receive.

But you also tell yourself that this wouldn't be the first time Jay leaves you in the dust.

You tell yourself that you're foolish for ever believing a friendship, or more, could come out of this act at the end. That you're so naive for feeling those stupid, stupid butterflies you've started to notice in your stomach whenever you see, or even think of, him.

"Okay," you begin with a firm tone. You're hurt, but you refuse to show it. You won't let him hurt you for a second time. Not again.

"Just...find me when you need me. As your fake girlfriend or just...me. I'm still here for you," is the last thing you say before un-clicking your seatbelt and leaving his car, beginning your walk back to your dorm hall.

Jay is unsure about many things in life. He's unsure about what he wants to do in the future, he's unsure of where he's going to settle in life, heck, he's unsure about what to have for lunch tomorrow. But he's sure about one thing.

That he's wearing his heart on his sleeve right now, and it's all because of you.

That you've become this new lifeline and he has to choose between holding onto you or drowning.

When Jay wakes up the next morning, his first gut instinct is to get ready to pick you up for class. But today's different. Jay doesn't know where the two of you stand now, especially after last night.

Jay doesn't know how to deal with this combination of unknown emotions he's been feeling lately. They didn't come out of no where, by any means, he realizes. They've been slowly growing over the past month of seeing you so often––like a plant he's been watering overtime, not expecting it to bloom into a flower so suddenly––but he figured it was nothing more than just enjoying the company of a friend.

Until he realizes that the term friend just doesn't suite you anymore––not to him, at least. And that scares him. It scares him that you've made him genuinely smile more in this past month than he ever has in his 19 years of living. It scares him that when he's around you he can't comprehend his own thoughts, his feelings. It scares him that you make him vulnerable, that you've changed him. That you've managed to make the walls that he's spent so long building and polishing to crumble with a simple tap of your finger.

In a perfect world, Jay would have already told you all this––he would be unafraid of how you would react, unafraid of your rejection, unafraid of losing this growing relationship with you. But alas, we don't live in a perfect world. And so when Jay drives to class that day, he drives right past your dorm building.

"Where's Y/N?" is the first thing Jake questions when he enters Jay's car that morning, confused by your absence, having been used to you being in the front seat every morning when Jay goes to give Jake rides to class as well.

"I don't know," Jay mutters, unemotional eyes focused on the road in front of him, not interested in continuing a conversation that involves thinking about you.

Jake hesitates as curiosity gets the best of him. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

Jay's hands tighten around the steering wheel of his car. "Or something. Let's just leave it at that."

There are a few beats of silence before Jake speaks up again.

"Well, I guess this works out because I wanted to talk to you about something."

Jay continues to stare straight ahead of him, focusing on just trying to get by without mentally beating himself up at the simple thought of you.

The simple thought of you and your smile. Your witty remarks. Your stupid eye rolls. Your laughter. Your kindness. So much for not thinking about you.

"I'm calling it off," Jake's words catch Jay off guard.

"Huh? Calling what off?"

"The bet. I'm calling it off. I don't care about the textbook fees I'll have to pay next semester. Look, fight or not, you and Y/N are good for each other, everyone can see it. And I really don't want this to end up being one of those messed up teen TV shows where the girlfriend finds out the entire relationship was based off of a stupid game and then they break up and the boyfriend falls into eternal sadness and regret. And I don't wanna see you sad, dude. So yeah! Congrats," although he's admitting defeat, Jake's beaming widely, just content with the fact that his best friend has finally found happiness through the form of you. "You win."

But Jay feels like the opposite of a winner. Because even though his only intention coming into this was simply winning the bet, his life isn't as simple as it was a month ago. Because he discovered something much more valuable than some stupid textbook fees or five hundred dollars or getting his physics homework done for an entire semester.

Something he's scared he's already lost.

You.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next time you see Jay is at the same time and place as when he first ever appeared to pick you up––at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building home to your awfully long Capitalism in World History class. This time, however it's different.

Because this time, it's one month later, and Jay Park is no longer a forgotten side character in the story of your life. This time, you're frustrated because it's been three days since you've last heard from Jay. And because it's been three days since you've last heard from him, you can't focus on anything else, and because you can't focus on anything else, you're falling behind on every other aspect in your life. Jay's somehow managed to become the center of your life without even having to be present.

Well, up until now. Up until you go down the steps of your lecture hall's entrance and look up to be met with a figure leaning on a car you're far too familiar with. You freeze in your steps as you make eye contact with the boy you've been thinking about non-stop for the past month three days.

Your mind tells you to walk away, to just follow your flight instinct instead of fight, to just go back to your normal life. But here's the thing. Ever since Jay's made his way back to your life, it's been far from normal.

And if you're being honest, you had no interest in going back to your normal life. Normal's overrated anyways. You find your legs bringing yourself over to him, your heart leading the way.

"Hi," you simply say, planting yourself right in front of him.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" You already know the answer, but you want to hear him say it.

"Waiting for you," Jay doesn't hesitate in answering you. This time will be different, he tells himself.

"I can walk myself home, thanks," you state, but your actions tell differently, as you make no sign of moving from your spot in front of him.

Jay's mind contemplates telling you everything. About how he regrets that friendship-breaking decision he made that one fateful day in the eighth grade, about his true feelings, about how he first suspected these feelings when he was 11 years old and saw you in your fancy get-up for the sixth grade dance but put it off as a little crush, and about how the same feelings grew into something so, so much more in the present. But seeing that putting all these thoughts into words would involve more than one functioning brain cell (which is all he's convinced he has in the moment, for the view of you staring up at him, looking like that, has his brain short-circuiting), he settles with:

"He called it off. It's over. The bet."

"Oh."

Silence.

Okay, Jay. This is your chance. Say it.

"Is that it?" You lift an eyebrow, awaiting for more explanation. When it doesn't come, you slightly nod and start backing away. "I'll see you around then."

Is that it? Do the two of you just go back to your respective lives now? How can Jay do that, when he doesn't even recall what his life was like before you entered it––and especially when he has absolutely no interest in going back to that life?

Fuck it.

"Y/N!" He stands up straight, a newfound confidence taking over. This time will be different, he tells himself. Because now, he knows what he wants. For sure.

You turn towards him, to see him already making his way towards you, stopping in his steps when he finds himself close enough to you that he can't concentrate anymore.

"I'm sorry for ditching you in the eighth grade. I'm sorry for ignoring you since then. I'm sorry for dragging you into this stupid mess and for pushing you away and I'm sorry for calling you a toy. Because it's far from truth. I like you. A lot. And––and I'm scared. I'm scared of what this means for us, because I just keep messing things up and all I know is that I don't wanna wake up tomorrow and realize you're not in my life anymore and––"

"Woah, woah, Jay. Slow down," you look up at him, the corners of your lips threatening to curve up into a smile. "You're an idiot, you know."

Jay's never really confessed his feelings to anyone before, per say, so he doesn't really know what to expect. But he's watched enough Netflix rom-coms in this lifetime (which is still not that many) to know that hearing the words "you're an idiot" isn't what you're supposed to hear after pouring your heart and soul out. Surely not, right?

"I––I'm not sure how to respond to that," he quietly says, searching your eyes for a sign, for anything. You giggle at his sudden shyness as you grab both his arms and look at him right in the eyes.

"It's okay. I get it, if anything, I'm also scared. But you somehow got me wrapped around your stupid finger, and I hate it," you smirk at him, your hands slowly making their way up his arms to circle around his neck.

Jay's hands naturally fall at your waist as he lets out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding as he returns your smirk. "Well, I could say the same about you. And I also hate it, for your information."

"Hmm, is that so? I guess it cancels out then, right?" You smile at him as he's pulling you in so close, your head turns cloudy.

Jay grins at you, his eyes holding so much joy and endearment as they quickly flicker down to your lips before returning to your own eyes. "I guess this only means one thing then."

"Mm, and what's that?"

And before Jay can answer––and because your life's been anything but normal lately––you make the first move this time, moving your head up to close the small gap between the two of you.

His arms instinctively tighten around you as you capture his lips with your very own, and Jay swears he's about to lift off into space right now. He's on cloud nine, and he makes no plans to touch the ground ever again.

The kiss quickly becomes fervent, all the pent-up tension that the two of you had for one another finally finding its way out, all the words that were previously left unsaid finally expressing themselves. You don't even care if you're being judged by the conservative faculty members of your school right now, or by the looks of fellow students walking past the two of you.

You try your best to keep yourself from smiling as he continues to press his lips against yours, his hand moving to hold your chin, guiding your mouth with his.

Before you find yourself getting carried away, you step back to take a breath, resting your forehead against his chest as his hands rest against your back. He smiles at the sound of you giggling against him.

Jay takes a step back to take one look at you and realizes, in this moment, that change can be good. And he's willing to undergo this change. As long as it's with you.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next morning, you bounce down the steps of your dorm building's entrance to meet the wide, bright smile of your ex-childhood-bestfriend-turned-fake-boyfriend-turned-real-boyfriend waiting for you in front of his car, small pastry bag in hand. You smile back at him.

Jay drives you to class that day.

And everyday after that.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ :

✰ let me know what you think! if u made it til the end, mwah :') <3

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lluvia-otsana · 2 years ago

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2,13,20 (book ask)

I got an ask, time to overshare -w-

If you make it to the end, you get a cookie (or you can cheat and scroll to the end!)

2. Top 5 books of all time:

Harrow is def no.1 by far for me, as much as I loved and devoured GtN in one sitting. Both of those books I've reread a million times and hold such a grip on me I can recite so many lines word for word, I can repeatedly open the books just to revisit scenes, I'm so invested in what will happen next in the series, and somehow they're even better on reread. There is always a portion of my mind now possessed by this series lol.

Ugh I'm bad at top 5 tho. I love the Murderbot series too but there's so many novellas in that series that if I include them TLT and Murderbot could take all the top 5 slots. It's sci fi action packed but also the narration is just such fun snark a bit like GtN.

In the same vein of the above books with their dark humor and banter I really enjoyed Nevernight. Probably also cuz the sidekick was a magical sarcastic cat made of shadows. And horny bi girl rep.

Also love When Women Were Warriors - it's my cheesy wholesome romance go to series. It's enemies to friends to lovers ish but soft.. except the swords.

Since the question says of all time, I will include that when I was a little weird kid I was obsessed with the Silverwing series and reread those a million times. Including and *especially* the very strange Firewing book that took place in bat hell lol. One of the main characters gets burned to death in the beginning! Great books for kids.

13. Do you have a goodreads?

Yeah, I've mostly been using that one lately. Trying to combine books/manga/webcomics in one site even tho goodreads isn't always great for shelving manga/webcomics.

If you wanna snoop and spend a second harshly scrutinizing me I think the link is:

goodreads.com/lluvia_otsana

Haven't been using it to keep track of books read per year as much until recently cuz I usually read physical books* and wasn't updating times before.

(*I live close to a gigantic indie bookstore I love to support. A dangerous place to live.)

20. What are things you look for in a book?

I like authors with a crazy imaginative mind. I wanna be thrown into a really different universe and experience the passion they put into the details of their beloved story. Bonus points for funny world building footnotes and appendices - I don't care that it detracts from the plot. I don't care if I don't know wtf is going on and I need to think and squint for foreshadowing and to understand the truth of what the characters are feeling - I like biting thru the layers of thick plot and characterization tbh. I love humor interwoven into the series and want to care about a diverse cast of characters. Not cuz it's forced in there but especially if it's SFF if you're gonna write an entirely different world why not put that care into writing different perspectives rather than the default usually cishet and male ones. I care more about the characters' motives and feelings and actions feeling real than them being morally correct. I don't need romance in it I can read diverse relationships, platonic or hateful or whatever (more fun if it's still intense in some way) But truthfully I am a sucker for deep monog romance if it fits somewhere in there.

Here 🍪 („• ᴗ •„)

(And thx for the excuse to ramble at myself @ghostlament)

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poppyseed799 · 3 years ago

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Okay fellow 3rd life fans I think it’s time I come clean. I have been silent about this the entire time, thinking about staying quiet cuz it seemed the whole fandom disagrees with what I’m about to say but I will stay silent no longer.

I don’t get why people say the Desert was “clearly the bad guys”.

Let’s get this out of the way: I mainly watched Scar’s POV along with Grian’s. I watched a fair amount of Martyn’s episodes as well, a couple from Scott and then random episodes from Skizz, Cleo, Impulse, Jimmy, and probably more. Definitely plot important ones I watched from more POVs than just my main guys Scar and Grian.

I just don’t get why, when people look at all of the different factions, they look at the Desert and go “yes they are clearly in the wrong and the only ones I can easily label as the villains in the overall story” what??? Don’t even get me started on “it’s interesting that the villains won in 3rd life” what??? I always viewed them as the more innocent ones, although the story is very morally grey so it doesn’t say TOO much lmao.

So let me explain why! Well, honestly, I’m more confused as to why y’all say they’re so obviously the villains, so I’m just explaining why I’m confused here lol.

So first of all let’s get the scamming and monopolies out of the way. I have less to say about the monopoly so let’s start with that. THEY NEVER HAD A MONOPOLY… if the idea of making a monopoly is bad enough for you guys, then might I remind y’all of the cow monopoly that was attempted? Everyone was looking for ways to make business… and a SAND monopoly was CLEARLY doomed to fail!! Not to bring Dream SMP into this but if y’all are gonna say OG L’Manberg was innocent because they didn’t succeed in the potion monopoly at all then let’s have that same energy for the Sand People!!!

Now for the scams. “Oooh poppy how are you gonna defend the scamming” BECAUSE IT WASN’T SCAMMING??? Scar made it clear what he wanted and what the person would receive in return. They were told they were going to receive a piece of paper and they agreed to it! Don’t listen to Grian “don’t listen to Scar it’s a scam the papers don’t mean anything” because he was LYING. Not purposely, but he was lying. Scar NEVER said “hey Grian let’s scam people with fRiEnDsHiP” instead he always told Grian that it WAS real and that he WOULD go through with all of the papers. And he did! There were a couple of mishaps but obviously it’s really difficult to control every situation. Plus Scar had a hard time remembering all of the friendship passes lmao. But he really did try, he really did value these trades, it wasn’t scamming just because Grian thought there was no way it was worth it.

The only Scar hater I stan is Skizzleman he had all right to be mad at Scar but that doesn’t mean Scar was the enemy of the whole story lol

Now onto something that I don’t know how to start explaining but is a very big reason why I’m confused about the fandom calling the Desert the bad guys. NOBODY IN THE SMP TOOK THEM SERIOUSLY. I saw SO many posts about how “Scar and Grian seem like fun guys in THEIR POV but in others POV they’re really scary!” Like no? I always thought it was the opposite. Like watching Scar’s POV I was like “ah man they have to kill people cuz red life this is so dramatic they are feared by the server…” BUT THEN I WATCH SOMEONE ELSE’S POV AND THEY LITERALLY SAY STUFF LIKE “lol we don’t have to worry about Scar” “dang all those people just exploded. Anyways Scar is the weakest red life and we have nothing to worry about when it comes to him it’s all the other red lifers that are a problem” “lol there goes those idiots trying to make a monopoly on sand so silly” and I’m like. Oh. The entire server treats them like silly cartoon villains that never achieve anything. And yes they say these things WHILE hunting the Desert People down like what. Basically the server treating the villainous things the Desert did as not very serious made me think the same, which is why I’m so confused that people think they’re the Big Bad Guys.

ANOTHER THING relating to how the server treats the Desert: alliances!! The Desert was very loyal. Scott and Jimmy trusted the Desert, which shocked many people on the server but were they wrong? No! The Desert trusted the Hobbits back fully as well. They were the only alliance they fully trusted, but they didn’t go behind their other allies’ backs just cuz they weren’t so sure about the alliance. Sure there were comments about Impulse, but that idea was fed to them by Impulse’s allies, they had no other information. And yet they STILL gave him stuff and didn’t flinch when alone with him above Dogwarts, because even with him being suspicious he was still their ally and they are loyal as heck!!! Sure there was Impulse’s demise but like. That was endgame, everyone was looking for a reason to kill someone, and the Desert was told that Impulse was sus af and his own allies didn’t trust him so it was an easy pick. Bdubs coulda said no. And yeah Scar betrayed Bdubs in the end but like. Once again, endgame, and also it was “kill the person who stuck with you since the beginning” or “kill the person who is only on your side cuz you gave him a clock a while ago and lied to you about liking watches”. What do you expect? Plus the ending showed how loyal Scar was to Grian, the guy who owed him his first life and stuck with him till the end. Beautiful.

ANYWAYS EVEN MEMBERS OF DOGWARTS WERE LIKE “I have a hard time killing Scar because he hasn’t really wronged me personally in any way, he’s fairly reliable as well” LIKE… bro they were ENEMIES. Scar also didn’t really want to hurt them!!! Also can I just say that the only reason Scar was as bad as he was was because he was the first person to go red? Red lifers are supposed to be like the villains, so I don’t disagree with people saying that at FIRST Scar was a villain cuz he was red (although wtf were some of these guys up to using excuses to kill people while green (not talking about Grian)) but he wasn’t even that bad while he was red. He was just the worst by default since he was red lol. Which was entirely not his fault, and he only wanted to kill Ren pretty much lol. So I guess Scar being the villain depends on if you consider Ren to be the main character of the entire server.

Which is another thing I don’t get… why people see Dogwarts as the good guys. There was a CLEAR corruption arc people. Dogwarts had loyalty, but it was very ride or die, as in “if you don’t ride with us you will die”. You watch these guys call everyone (not just the desert people) “filthy peasants” and not realize they are acting like villains??? Plus the ominous “red winter is coming” like what. Not saying they weren’t good at the start, nor that they were completely and totally bad, just that if you were to frame ANYONE in this MORALLY GREY SERVER as “The Bad Guys” why not the ones that made it their entire thing????? YES they were good at first, they had regrets and cared so much about their people (just not anyone else lololol). It’s a tragic story, and you’re gonna write it off like “no even when they started doing bad things to people who never hurt them it was justified” even when they regret those things towards the end or after death so clearly it was wrong??? Guys.

I don’t want to call anyone the Bad Guys in 3rd life tho. They all did bad things, they all had valid reasons, they all had people they cared about. I just don’t get why people pick the Desert when they try to pick villains. They weren’t totally innocent but I never saw them as THE villains. For me, even while watching Martyn, that was always Dogwarts, and even then I don’t consider them Total Villains because the server is so grey! I loved them I just think that if anyone is the bad guys maybe it’s the self-imposed king that threatens to take ALL of your lives if you don’t show complete and total loyalty to them and wave their banner above your house to show it. Even if that king started out innocent and only went red to protect his friends. Once again tho I don’t like picking Bad Guys for this server. It was a very good story without having a clear right or wrong.

Just wanted to confess that, don’t really feel like arguing about it cuz I see enough people calling the Desert the Villains just scrolling thru the main tag lmao.

#3rd life smp #third life smp #3rd life spoilers #dsmp WISHES it could achieve the moral greyness 3rd life has #long post #I had more I wanted to say but I didn’t know how to fit it in I’m bad at writing rants

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jawsofbalmung · 2 years ago

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choose like ten of those aa questions you havent done and pretend i listed them <3

SICK THANKS FOR ALL THE QUESTIONS YOU DEFINITELY LISTED I LOVE THOSE ONES

15. Random headcanon you can share?

miles is one of those people that's allergic to a lot of things. tree nuts, alcohol, tropical fruit, soy, etc. phoenix is not. but there is one allergy they have in common; chocolate. and they bond over how they never understood what's so great about chocolate anyway.

18. Game with the best cast?

it's a tossup between dgs2 and spirit of justice honestly! i love almost every single minor character in dgs2, especially in return of the great departed soul, as well as our main cast of course, but spirit of justice had really high character value too, between nahyuta and rayfa and dhurke and the entire cast of turnabout storyteller.

32. Character you wish to see return?

kay!!!! i am so mad that it took me till i played aai to even get a whiff of their existence in the series. i want to see them all grown up and redesigned and FRIENDS WITH TRUCY!!!

38. Plottwist that came as the biggest surprise to you?

no spoilers, but the revisualization sequence in rite of turnabout (6-3) blew my mind. literally got me hopping up and down and yelling like a monkey at the screen. good shit that case is FANTASTIC and i think that's even the first time they've done That Twist??

48. Random fact people tend to forget that you wanna remind us of?

i made a whole post about this but SHOLMES IS NOT THEIR LANDLORD. HES THEIR NEIGHBOR. STOP CALLING HIM A LANDLORD AND STOP CALLING HIM PROBLEMATIC FOR BEING A LANDLORD. HE'S LITERALLY POOR.

78. Who or what got you into AA?

gonna be honest my bestie @odoroki-mikeko and i were bored one day and scrolling thru the playstation store looking for something new when we saw the dgs chronicles for pretty cheap. and we had obviously heard of ace attorney before but never thought of getting into it, but like, dgs was different enough from the main games that we gave it a go! the next day was the eve of a long weekend, and we got so sucked into the game that we briefly turned nocturnal, playing each case for hours and hours accidentally staying up every night of that weekend until we were like "IT'S SIX AM??? HOW????" and we were hungry for more after we finished dgs, so we got the original trilogy next and, yeah,

92. Was any character ever your icon, lock screen etc.?

oh of course! i am nothing if not a man that plasters my blorbos all over every surface. as you can see my icon on here is barok (commissioned from @/eulogaeic!), my icon on my main is kristoph, and ive rotated through a few wallpapers since i got into aa. currently my lockscreen is apollo and trucy, and my home screen is the dual destinies cast! im thinking of changing them soon tho, i get bored easily and ive had them for a bit by now.

93. Ship you feel like deserves more attention even though your not into it that much?

faraskye!! i dont personally get too into wlw (or nblnb as these two def are tbh), but i think they're a very nice ship and people should like them more. this is a threat.

94. Your first ship?

homuryu! i loved sholmes the moment i laid eyes on him and dgs1-2 was right away so homosexual. i did not expect to come on here and see zero homuryu content tho?? it's a rarepair for reasons i do not understand. the dance of deduction is just inherently romantic idk what to tell you.

97. Best non-human character?

taka. final answer.

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thenamesblurrito · 3 years ago

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ask dump the fourth

what can i say, i guess i get a lot of asks!! thanks for the attention, have some miscellaneous info

answered asks are collide from this ask meme, tm waspy dude’s Sky Striker, how much a mech can eat, tar taffy, Springload, Springer the secret John Deere tractor, dandelions, Soundwave, and nonhumanoid root modes

@confusedcriminal this has been in my inbox forever and i forgot about it halfway thru compiling an answer oops! but inspiration for SNAP taken from outside of transformers canon would, most obviously, be the entirely of magical girl anime. i legit scrolled through TVTropes for a long time doing research on stereotypical episodes, character types, etc just so i could really capture the aesthetic. i’m not basing it on any anime in particular, although the classic Sailor Moon and PMMM and even some Pretty Cure had a lot of good tropes for me to steal.

another one is sort of the nature of ~political discourse i see between kids online these days. SNAP revolves around four groups of kids working to better the world but violently disagreeing on how that should be done. it’s not an inspiration i started out with (especially because i avoid all sorts of the disk horse like the plague) but it became an apt comparison as i kept working on the story.

a solid character! it sounds like Sky Raider is a lot like Sky Striker with the addition of some confidence and security

(the post this is referring to)

it sort of depends on the person’s size, how worn/physically tired they are, and what materials their self repair is drawing from. a mech with a lot of dings and scrapes will have their self repair systems working harder and thus “run out” of what they’ve eaten quicker, whereas someone in perfect health who isn’t moving that much will only need general minor upkeep. as for how much they can eat at once, the fuel tanks and material stockpiles someone has will vary by their size and frame. a seeker, for instance, has large fuel reserves for their large energy demands because it’s stored in their wings, like real planes! their material stockpiles are smaller though because flightframes carrying around more weight in the form of eaten food is sort of counterintuitive. the average grounder and toolformer will have proportionally larger material stockpiles, flightframes and spacers and aquatics will have proportionally smaller, and beastformers will have somewhere in between, usually erring larger. eating too much for any one of them will result in lethargy and nausea, loss of appetite for a good while, perhaps physical pain from overstressed tanks, and if necessary purging/spitting up food. doing this over and over can damage their internal forges and repair systems, and lead to self repair tacking excess materials onto places that really don’t need them, like the flash of overmolded stuff, which can cause lumps, compromised welds, and even shrapnel knocking around in the internals. they don’t really have the equivalent of fat storage like organics, at best they get thick and malformed armor.

all that said, to answer your question! yes they could eat more to go longer between meals, as long as they don’t push it and eat more than they’re physically capable of holding. also, it’s pretty normal to get physical materials within liquid fuel. silted energon mentioned in the above link and “protein shakes” are a quick and easy way to get all their “food groups” in one form, and some mecha live exclusively off of these

lol that’s a great name already ghfofhjdfgs nice and simple, i can use that

oh this is really really good! backstory and everything! also gotta love a good FMAB reference *chefs kiss* i don’t know if i have a place for Springload in my current plotline, but this would fit perfectly as one of the accidental alternate timelines that Skywarp sometimes falls into, so i’m gonna tuck this in my back pocket for later. i am however hesitant to use Aboriginal culture as i am definitely not Aboriginal nor even Australian and don’t want to disrespect them. at the very least i’d have to ask some Aboriginal people, but i really don’t think it’s my place to use anything from the Dreamtime, especially without explicit permission

@oldboyjensenhinglemeier it took me so long to answer this because it’s so beautiful i wanted to save it forever. also no he’s not a tractor sadly but you’re right about the colors. the obvious solution is to make him a tractor in your own canon! (also what i’m hearing is Sputter’s new nickname for Springer is John Deere)

!!!! i never got part 1 to this but i already love this so much??? giant dandelions yes please. this is so good. sky weeds

yes he can, among a lot of other befuddling supersenses! the Lenses manifest mostly as augmented sight, which is already confusing enough to handle, but his powerset is more expansive. on his character sheet i describe it as “perception so acute he can predict what an opponent will do next”, and that bleeds into hearing as well, even hearing thoughts. he has a lot of work to do to figure out how to operate without a migraine, made more difficult by the way Rumble and Frenzy just refuse to cooperate

as for swimming aids, i think soundwave is one of the ones who can swim safely? i think? i talk about swimming in this dump here. most of the heroes can. his tentacles probably would make some decent swimming aids actually, although it’s unlikely to come up because there aren’t exactly many places to swim on Cybertron

(the post this is referring to)

something like that ;)

there’s an in-universe answer and an out-of-universe answer, and the out-of-universe answer is that i wanted to keep a set style and visual language for each character design to lend a thread of coherency between all of them, so i made the difficult decision to sacrifice nonhumanoid root modes

#TM Waspy dude #cybertronian biology #tfoc #worldbuilding #cybertronian food #springload #springer #soundwave #Ask dump

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jayflrt · 3 years ago

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how do you manage all of your blogs, school, extracurriculars and personal matters at the same time? i'm so serious do you have any advice or methods/tips i can steal 😢 HAJDKSG it's incredible.. you must have a lot on your plate, but from what the works i've read from you has shown me, you always put so much effort into what you do. i'm so happy and in awe with how you're able to do what you enjoy even with the workload from college and other things!!!! you're really inspiring hehe i hope i'm able to continue writing when i'm in college too :( love you alice ☹️❤️

hihi anon !! i hope you’re doing well and having a great day/night 🌷🌷 PLEASE OMG literally your entire message makes me feel so so soft 😭🤍 i adore this sooo much — it made me so happy to read !! 🥰

to be quite honest, i used to be veryy bad at managing my time during high school and my first year of college. i would still do my work, do extracurricular, and write, but i just never had a good balance with any of them. the only thing that was consistent was my skating bc i trained 6 days a week, and then i took a writing break for a majority of my sophomore/junior year of high school and my freshman year of college

it was only during quarantine when i started using a planner to organize my day and make sure i completed everything i needed to get done. school is always my #1 priority before writing, so i make sure i finish my assignments before squeezing in time to write !! (once i was literally on such a deep writing grind that i completely missed a write-up that i was supposed to submit 😭😭 that was a wake-up call LMFAO) but yeah i rlly recommend using a planner !! it helps when you’re crossing out stuff from an agenda, like a little victory whenever you complete something ♡ education and work is also like number #1 priority to me so it helps working everything else around that schedule :’)

writing is sorta like breathing to me so my brain is constantly just spitting ideas and everything i see and experience is just writespo 🤩 so it’s not very difficult for me to just write a fic instead of whatever else i could be doing like scrolling thru tiktoks HAHAH i still do have a problem with procrastinating tho so i’m not like suuuper on top of them but i’m so so honored that you think im inspiring love !! 😭💗💗

#💌 : jayflrt love notes #anon #makes me smile

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everybodyscupoftea · 4 years ago

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the treat

frat jj x reader

a night in raleigh with your boyfriend

um this is way past overdue, i’m so sorry this took so long :/

(warnings: cursing, drinking, mostly proofread)

Between the whole appendicitis thing and the tramp stamp and just generally being there for you whenever you needed it, you thought JJ was past due you treating him to something. You weren’t entirely sure how you wanted to do it until one afternoon, you got a twitter notification about Canes single game tickets going on sale.

You knew that JJ had grown up pretty poor and despite having played hockey and been a fan, had never been to an NHL game. It seemed like the perfect plan, the one game that the Stars were in Carolina was even on a Friday night, so you saved up and bought the two of you really good seats, a few rows up from the glass.

Secret keeping wasn’t your forte, especially with JJ, everything you heard you pretty much told him, so it was extra hard trying to suppress your excitement about the game. You told your whole family and some of your friends to make up for it, the game was like two months away, you had to tell someone.

When the day came, you went to the frat house before JJ got home from class and grabbed his Stars jersey out of the closet. Drew, the other Canes fan, was sitting on the couch and he looked up when you walked in, “Oh what’s up?”

You gave him a fist bump, “Getting ready for the game.”

Drew nodded, “You want me to chip in for beer, might join you and JJ watching it down here.”

With a small smile you declined, “Actually I got us tickets for it. Four rows up.”

His eyebrows shot up, “Alright, that’s sick. JJ’s a lucky man.”

You laughed, “Remind him of that sometimes for me.”

JJ got home just as you were getting in your car to wait for him and walked over to you after parking. He looked confused, “Babe, did we have plans?”

“Not really, but I was thinking we could go get dinner in Raleigh tonight.”

He put his hands in his pockets and you could practically hear the wheels in his brain spinning as he tried to figure out if he’d missed an important date or something. He was staring at your outfit, a hoodie and jeans, trying to guess the vibe of where you were planning on going. Taking pity on him, you added, “It’s just something fun, you didn’t forget an anniversary.”

With a shrug, JJ said, “Sounds good to me, I’m going to change and then we’ll go?”

“Yeah, I’ll drive,” you added.

He really looked confused after that, you rarely drove for several reasons including your love hate relationship with Google Maps and parking. You waited in the car, scrolling aimlessly through Spotify, trying to calm yourself down, it wasn’t time to get excited yet.

JJ got in the passenger seat wearing jeans and a nice pullover that you’d gotten him for his last birthday. He leaned over the console, kissing you before pulling away to buckle in. You started backing out as he asked, “How was your day today?”

“Pretty good, didn’t do much because my class got cancelled. How about you?”

“My test went well I think, and I met with my advisor about scheduling next semester.”

You hummed in response and focused on merging onto the interstate, already a little nervous. The GPS was muted, so JJ wouldn’t hear where you were going, but that also meant you were having to drive and navigate at the same time.

By the time you got near the arena there was a line of cars and JJ was looking out the window in confusion. He looked over at you, “This restaurant is pretty poppin, huh? Hope you got a reservation.”

“I did,” you answered with a snort.

He leaned his head against the window as you turned off the main road onto the one that leads to the parking lot. When you pulled into a spot decently far from the arena he perked up, looking at the building curiously.

“Wait, where are we right now?”

You grinned, pulling his jersey out from the backseat, “I might have lied a little bit about where we’re going.”

“Holy fuck, you got us tickets?”

“I did.”

JJ whooped loudly, getting out of the car to tug his jersey on and run around to pull you out and into a hug. You laughed at his excitement, and he spun you around a few times. He pulled away enough for you to put your jersey on and then retake his hand.

“I wondered why we were going out on a night the Canes were playing.”

“Well, now you know.”

“I do,” he said, swinging your linked hands back and forth between the two of you. The tickets were on your phone luckily, and you were able to keep your seat location a secret. Doors had already opened, so the two of you were able to walk in, and you pulled him to a stop at the first bar.

JJ immediately started to pull out his wallet and you pushed his hand, “Nah, I got it all tonight.” He went to protest and you interrupted before he could start, “Babe, you have my initials tatted into your back and a belly button piercing for me. Please let me buy you a beer.”

He laughed loudly and put his wallet back, “Fair enough.”

You ordered two Bud Lights and handed him one before pulling him along behind you. It looked like he was about to go up the escalator to the upper section, but you grinned, “Nah, babe, we’re going down.”

“What?”

He was shocked when you finally stopped, four rows up from the glass, close to center ice. It was rare JJ, who always had something to say, was speechless, but he was. You grabbed the front of his jersey and pulled him into a kiss, and when the two of you broke apart, you asked, “So, what do you think?”

“What do I think? I think this is fucking awesome!”

“I knew you’d never been to an NHL game before and I thought it would be kind of fun.”

“Kind of? This is going to be a fucking blast!”

The whole night, the smile never left his face, even when you were chirping his team’s inability to score. After another whiffed shot, you looked over, “Y’all got Seguin, and for what? Less scoring?”

JJ put you in a gentle headlock and ruffled your hair, “Put some respect on his name, it’s one off night.”

“Nah, baby, tell that to your abysmal road record.”

“Damn,” he responded with a pout, “you don’t have to come for the Stars like that.”

“I do when they’re playing my team, bitch.”

“You better watch your mouth; I feel a comeback on the way.”

“Oh, I’ll believe it when I see it.”

JJ was wrong, but he still had a great time. Screaming along with the other Stars fan in your section when the Canes missed an empty net. Everyone was standing at the end when the Stars had a powerplay and you gripped on his jersey sleeve.

“Ah fuck,” he told you when the final buzzer went off.

You laughed, “Shoutout baby!”

JJ reached around and pulled your hood up over your head. You squealed and tried to shove him off. He laughed, “What do you have to say to me now?”

Finally pushing him away, you fixed your hood and glared at him, “Your team sucks.”

He staggered, hand coming up to his heart with a fake look of hurt, “Baby, your words cut deep.”

You grinned, “Since you’re the loser, you have to give me a piggy back ride all the way to the car.”

“You can’t walk?”

“I had five beers,” you told him, holding up four fingers.

“Okay, yeah, fair enough.”

JJ pulled the two of you off to the side, away from the flow of foot traffic, and let you climb on his back. You draped your arms over his shoulders and tugged at the strings on his jersey. He huffed, “God, you weren’t this drunk during the game.”

“I was sitting, now I am standing. Hits different.”

“Where are the keys?”

You reached around, pulling them out of your back pocket, and handed them to him. JJ let you down by the passenger seat and opened the door after unlocking the car. Climbing in, you pulled the seatbelt across while JJ closed the door and jogged over to the other side.

“Feel like eating?” he asked, starting the car up.

“Chick-fil-a,” you told him, already searching Google Maps for it.

JJ took your phone with a sigh when you got sidetracked and picked the closest location. By the time he pulled in, the parking lot was packed and you groaned, leaning dramatically against the window. His lips quirked up briefly before saying, “We’ll go drive-thru and pull off somewhere to eat in the car.”

“Oh my god, a genius.”

JJ laughed, “I’m glad you think so.”

He knew your order, and you lost track of time as he pulled through, only zoning back in when JJ shifted to dig the wallet out of his shorts. You slapped lightly at his hand, “No, my treat.”

With a sigh, he took your wallet. When he handed you the food, he held a finger up, “Last time tonight you’re paying for me ma’am.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you dismissed, giggling and slapping his hand away when he reached for the bag to dig out a fry.

“The betrayal,” he gasped, dramatically, and pulled into a parking space so the two of you could eat, “my very own girlfriend won’t allow me sustenance.”

“My money, my food,” you told him playfully, batting his hand away again.

“I will leave you in Raleigh,” he threatened.

“You won’t.”

“Bet.”

“Alright, bet,” you raised your eyebrows and crossed your arms, and after about a twenty second stare-off, he looked away in defeat. You cheered and handed him his sandwich, “That’s right, can’t ditch me.”

He shook his head, snorting quietly, “You know I never want to.”

“I-“ you started, “you’re such a sap.”

“Only for you, babe.”

“Good. You’re the only man I’d ever buy hockey tickets for.”

“Good.”

#frat!jj #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank fic #jj outer banks #outer banks fic #outer banks #obx #sigma chi!jj

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extraordinarilyextreme · 4 years ago

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Crown Prince Li Kaiqing, Chen Ji, and Fushui

MAJOR spoilers for 《骊歌行》 Court Lady (2021)!!! This is just me blabbing about my feelings.

so we all knew that Crown Prince (CP) and Chen Ji (CJ) were gonna be BE cuz they have historical prototypes. after Chengxin was executed, Li Chengqian grieved for a long time, refusing to attend court and also building a shrine for him in the palaces.

well, even with that knowledge, i still cried like a little baby at the end of the drama. there’s not a single un-sad 感情线 in this entire show, but i really do think that the mess of these three is tragic.

before we dive into the mess that i’ve become, a huge round of applause to Li Zefeng for his amazing portrayal of the Crown Prince—the good-intentioned, sort of foolish boy that we first meet and then later the wide-eyed, paranoid, remorseless man. and of course similar props to Wang Yizhe’s two roles of sweet Chen Ji and scheming Fushui (and Sun Langlang for voicing them! Wang Zhi’s VA!).

so as i’ve already said, CP is really a whole different person after CJ dies. and the contrast between CJ and Fushui (FS) is very plainly evident: CJ dressed in pale white-blue, FS mostly in grey-black; CJ kept his hair loose, FS wears a bun (or hat, when he rises thru the ranks); CJ is a lowly palace entertainer, FS is well-trained in combat and medicine (and ends up as Senior Imperial Physician, somehow); CJ was terrible at weiqi, FS is good at weiqi but pretends to be bad at it. CJ was targeted and subjected to rumors, but no one dared question CP’s relationship with FS—because CP was in so much grief after CJ died, how could anyone bear to do that to CP again? even though FS was absolutely the one that everyone should have removed from CP’s side immediately…

when CP and CJ first meet in episode 7, CP is kind of a typical princely character: he’s kinda entitled, the world is his, his future is bright… and i firmly believe he 一见钟情 because while CJ still treated him with courtesy and respect, it’s obvious that CJ didn’t expect or want anything from him. and this continues in episode 9, when CP is trying to clear his thoughts by the riverside and runs into CJ who is fishing: CP brattishly orders CJ to stay and keep him company, and CJ is honestly more confused than anything as to why the freaking Crown Prince of the country wants to spend the whole goddamn day here. of course, it’s because CJ represents a freedom for CP: here, the Emperor won’t compare him to Prince Zhou or Prince Han; here, the Empress won’t admonish him over and over again; here, there’s no scheming advisors who try to curry favor with him. here, as CP tells CJ to use, it’s just “you and I” without care for rank or formalities.

(but also the death flag in episode 9 was atrociously obvious LOL with CP promising “I will make you a grave” to CJ’s absolute terror. on-the-nose. still made me sad later on, so that’s that i guess. in any case, the episode ends with a 定情信物 whereupon CP gives a jade from his belt to CJ.)

CP watches CJ perform (as he is an entertainer from Prince Han’s mansion) for the first time in episode 10, and we see it again in episode 12, episode 16, and episode 17. based off 《三国演义》Romance of the Three Kingdoms, the lyrics are as follows:

大丈夫只患功名不立 A great man should only worry about not gaining fame and honor/

何患无妻 Why worry over not having a wife/

舍生忘死报恩住 Leaving behind life and death to repay my Lord/

忠肝义胆待友朋 Treat my friends with righteous loyalty/

我要做有血性的英雄 I want to be a hot-blooded hero/

为义而生 To live for righteousness (loyalty)/

为义而死 To die for righteousness (loyalty)

CJ plays the main role of Zhao Zilong (Zhao Yun), and he helpfully compares the story to a game of weiqi in episode 16.

“A gambit [sacrificing insignificant pieces to protect the significant ones] is what Zhao Zilong did in the Battle of Changban. In order for Zhao Zilong to save A Dou, he couldn’t save Madam Gan. So, Madam Gan committed suicide. Isn’t Madam Gan a gambit?”

to which CP responds: “Thank goodness you are Zhao Zilong, and not Madam Gan.”

CJ: “The Crown Prince regards me as his soulmate [知己]. Even if in the future, the Crown Prince were to sacrifice me as a gambit, I would be willing.”

CP: “What are you saying? You and I are friends. No matter what happens in the future, I will never treat you as a sacrificial gambit.”

(so, like, death flags everywhere! 知己-mention! and, c’mon, i think for CP’s consort to be jealous/insecure is a little bit justified considering the amount of times CP has CJ perform this piece with a line like “Why worry over not having a wife”.)

backing up for just a moment before everything goes to shit, other notable events are CP finding out his wife is pregnant in episode 13 (but he spends the day fishing and then cooking the fish with CJ at the riverside, and they walk off with arms draped around each other’s shoulders), CJ hurting his leg after climbing a cliffside to pick red flowers after CP mentioned his wife loves the color red most in episode 14, and finally CP leading a blindfolded CJ to a new house just for him to tick off another romance-y trope in episode 15.

CP: “Didn’t you say you didn’t have a home? So I bought you this little estate. When you fall in love someday, have children, and have a great career, this will be your home.”

(the point is they’re both still kind of in a honeymoon phase right now, tho it ends quickly in episode 16 when our FL Fu Rou warns CJ against being so close to CP—but CP is a little bit too idealistic right now, a little bit too stuck in his blissful fantasy, a little bit foolish. foolish, and incompetent, and unable to protect the people he loves bc he unwittingly endangered them to begin with.)

of course, things come to a head in episode 17 when CP’s wife tells her sister about CJ, leading to the Emperor eventually finding out. but while that’s happening, CP goes to see CJ at the estate he bought for him.

CP: In the future, I won’t come here anymore. Therefore, let’s put aside differences for today and be friends like we used to. We will never have those kinds of days again.

CJ confesses he’s going to leave Chang’an: I want to learn swordsmanship well, and become a wandering hero, feeling at home wherever I am. When the Crown Prince becomes Emperor in the future, I can help you take care of bad guys along my journey out there. This will be my way of helping the Crown Prince to keep the empire stable.

CP gives his dagger to CJ: This is not a reward, but a gift for my friend who is about to leave. In the future, whenever you look at it, it will be like looking at me.

CJ: A gift from my soulmate. Chen Ji will definitely take good care of it.

(for ppl who’ve watched Qing Ya Ji, the parallel to Zhongxing and Fangyue here killed me. but there’s also a parallel within the show itself near the end when Fu Rou gives the Emperor a collection of scrolls and explains that the late Empress hoped that he would treat her writings like he were seeing her—one of Court Lady’s many confirmations that CP and CJ should be read as a romantically by paralleling it to visible, het relationships. ALSO, CP has CJ perform Zhao Zilong again right after this conversation, like a last nail in the coffin.)

so the Emperor finds out in episode 18 and angrily orders CP to kill CJ himself, lest he be stripped of rank. Fu Rou warns CJ, but he refuses to escape.

If I run away, the Crown Prince will not be able to fulfill the Emperor’s order—what would happen to the Crown Prince? […] Life and death are not the most important things; the most important thing is to stay true to yourself.

and so CJ unsheathes the dagger CP gave him.

The Crown Prince regards Chen Ji as his soulmate, Chen Ji also regards the Crown Prince as his soulmate. ‘A man of service dies for the one who knows him.’ (An upright man can die for his soulmate.)

CJ quotes “��为知己者死” from Sima Qian’s 《史記·刺客列傳》Records of the Grand Historian, tho if you’ve watched Winter Begonia, it should probably also look familiar.

CP pushes aside the soldiers who’ve accompanied him on the journey to CJ’s home, but it’s too late: CJ took his own life, using the weapon CP gave him, in order to protect CP.

the chorus of Lu Hu’s 《万里》 Ten Thousand Li plays as CP staggers toward CJ’s lifeless body.

呼吸，想着你, When I breathe, I think of you

在梦里，在心里, In my dreams, in my heart

怪完相遇，怪自己, After I’ve finished blaming that we encountered each other, I blame myself

别离，痛彻心扉！Farewell, my heart is broken

(this is a song from the OST we hear multiple times with the other couples in the drama—and we also see many couples by the same river that CP and CJ would fish together by. i think, like, all the couples associated with this song except our main one have a BE…)

in CP’s immense grief, he has the weiqi pieces from his last game with CJ glued to the board, never to be moved again, and he has the flowerbed outside flattened. we get our callback to episode 9: “Chen Ji has no family. I promised him that if he died, I would make him a grave.”

CP doesn’t meet FS until episode 37, but what the Emperor says in episode 19 about Chen Ji is what really makes the whole thing a tragedy.

You must be cautious when choosing friends. He would only have misguided you.

and that’s the thing, the Emperor isn’t wrong!!! it ultimately truly is the Crown Prince’s love for Chen Ji that destroys him. his love for Chen Ji ruins him, ruins the imperial family and threatens the dynasty as a whole. because when Fushui shows up, a man who shares Chen Ji’s face, the Crown Prince trusts him unconditionally—it’s the Crown Prince’s desperation to see any small part of Chen Ji again that leaves him vulnerable to FS’s manipulation: CP forgets who he truly is. because how could a man who looks like Chen Ji ever betray him?

CP is thrown from his horse in episode 37, striking his head upon a rock.

he wonders: Chen Ji, have I also died? Did you come here just to pick me up?

(but of course it’s FS, who was actually going to kill him but the soldiers arrived too quickly.) they meet officially in episode 38.

CP: I thought I was going to die. Dimly, I felt someone approach me—he wanted to save me. I originally thought it was Chen Ji who couldn’t bear for me to die, so his spirit appeared. I didn’t expect that it was you.

FS remarks that CP has brought up “Chen Ji” several times already; immediately, he understands that this is a weakness to exploit.

CP basically throws a temper tantrum in episode 39 when he discovers he will have a permanent limp from now on. (idk if it was an intentional parallel, but CJ also had a limp after falling from the cliffside in episode 14.) FS is the only person that CP allows to approach him, and FS gets him to eat grilled fish (which is apparently CP’s favorite food—how much of the people we love do we carry with us?)

FS acts innocent: I really am bad at lying; as soon as I lie, you see right through me.

it’s everything CP wants to hear.

CP tells him: When I fell off my horse, and was on my last breath, you came to my side and encouraged me to continue living. I’m now crippled and in despair, but you talked sense into me to eat grilled fish. Everything that has happened—if it were Chen Ji, he would also have talked sense into me, encouraged me. Sometimes, I feel that you are Chen Ji, just with a different face.

(obviously it’s the same face for us tho cuz he’s played by the same guy. but anyway, when FS comes clean about everything in episode 51, he mimics the words CP says here.

I am not Chen Ji. I, Yang Fushui, came to your side to find an opportunity to take revenge.)

back to episode 39, FS says he doesn’t want to be “another Chen Ji” because he doesn’t want to die so young—he’s afraid of death.

CP: I guarantee you that I won’t let anyone harm you. What happened to Chen Ji will never happen to you.

(and it’s true! FS gets away with so much goddamn shit because CP’s wife doesn’t dare criticize FS, and even the Emperor doesn’t after knowing what it’s like to see his son in such heavy grief. CP’s wife thinks this is her chance at making amends; she felt real remorse after CJ died, and honestly that line from It’s Quiet Uptown sums it up best: “If I could trade his life for mine/He'd be standing here right now/And you would smile and that would be enough.” a shame, of course, that CP was FS’s freaking main target. nobody wants to repeat the tragedy of Chen Ji, so no one questions Fushui.)

but, like, FS isn’t truly even that subtle—it’s just that CP is so blinded by his love for CJ. from episode 46:

CP: I have taught you for so long, but you’re still terrible at playing.

FS: I am doing it on purpose. Only if I play poorly, will the Crown Prince be willing to continue teaching me.”

CP: Even you put on an act before me? […] You are the person I trust the most. Don’t lie to me.

(太子，你醒醒吧!)

so FS successfully sows discord between CP and his brother Prince Han; the Empress passes away (always sickly, but her illness was very much exacerbated upon seeing her beloved sons turn on each other); CP’s wife kills her own sister in what she believes is a beneficial political move for CP; Prince Han’s wife is wrongfully executed; Sheng Chujun is killed and silenced too after he discovers FS’s plans. CP stages a coup against Prince Han. (the man who looks like Chen Ji must only want the best for him, right?) FS gets away with everything and goes to visit CP in prison in episode 51.

AND HERE! HERE! FS is supposed to kill CP; that’s been his goal from the very beginning. CP hasn’t eaten for days in the prison, but FS shows up with a grilled fish and CP eats without a second thought that it could be poisoned.

but. FS has been at CP’s side for so long now. he’s orchestrated CP to lose everything. there is nothing left that CP could give to him but the mere fact that he’s still breathing.

in episode 49, FS poisons Lian Yan’er and Yan Zifang is obviously upset on behalf of blissfully ignorant, head-over-heels Ma Haihu.

FS: I will kill whoever gets in my way.

YZF: What about someone you love? If it was someone you loved, you would be just as ruthless, right?

FS: It is human nature to be greedy and selfish. Where does love come into play? This question—you’ve asked the wrong person.

(but FS’s expression changes. someone he loves? he’s startled, he looks afraid.)

FS ruined CP’s life; and at the same time, gave CP reason to live again. CP started playing weiqi again, his relationship with his wife improved; he started smiling again. there was a passionate fire to him that he never had before (this was his second chance to do everything right, to protect the people he loves!)... the kindling, unfortunately, was his trust in Prince Han and his parents. from episode 39, FS comes in and sits down next to CP after CP trashes his room during his tantrum.

CP: Do you know why I treat you differently from other people?

FS: Because I remind Your Highness of your friend who already passed away—Chen Ji?

CP never stopped loving CJ; he loved Fushui, because he never stopped treating him as Chen Ji. after the failed coup against Prince Han, CP smiles in prison in episode 51 when FS visits him.

CP: It was fate who made us each other's soulmate [知己]. [...] If you can continue living well, I wish that you live your life to the fullest, with both smiles and tears.

how can Fushui bear to take the Crown Prince’s life when he’s received nothing but unwavering trust from him? when he explains who he truly is, when he calls CP foolish for trusting the wrong person, FS is on the brink of tears. his mouth trembles, his breaths shake. when the poison begins to take effect, and CP agonizingly reaches for him, FS takes his hand—just as CP gripped CJ’s lifeless hand so long ago, just as CP reached out to the person he thought was CJ when he fell from his horse. FS takes his hand, sobs, and gives him the antidote.

(Consort Yan’s eunuch is, of course, outraged.

Yu He: If you can’t bear to kill him, then I will!

Fushui: I forbid you. [...] He has nothing left to lose. I forbid you from killing him.)

so, we have the Crown Prince, ruined by his love for Chen Ji—and Fushui, who both took and freely gave the Crown Prince’s life back to him. it’s a love story; it has always been a love story.

and finally, FS gets Ma Haihu killed in episode 53. he picks up the comb MHH carved for Lian Yan’er (a 定情信物!), and when he speaks, ends up telling the story of CP and CJ as well.

There was a woman who sacrificed her life for your bright future. You only needed to enjoy it, yet you took the road of self-destruction.

and then he remembers what CP said to him in the prison in episode 51.

CP: If, in this world, fate truly exists, then so do the hearts of men.

FS remarks now: If you have a heart, you will be easily hurt, or even lose your life.

heartless Fushui, who kills without batting an eye, who nearly upturned the entire Tang dynasty, who doesn’t know of love. in the end, he couldn’t bear to end the Crown Prince’s life.

so, yeah. these three broke my heart. i really wonder what Chen Ji would say to the Crown Prince when they see each other again at last in the afterlife. what the Crown Prince would say to Chen Ji. how violent love can be. what it means to live in someone’s memory. or maybe they would return to the river and spend a long day fishing together again.

#court lady #骊歌行 #cdrama ramblings

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myhockeyworld87 · 5 years ago

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Nervous Regrets - Tyler Seguin - Part 29

Word Count: 4,198

POV: Reader

Warnings: Smut, NSFW, Language, Pregnancy Pictures??

Notes: It’s not yet tomorrow, so at least I kept my word and got this one out today as well. We are definitely getting closer to the birth. Can’t wait! Happy Reading!

Nervous Regrets Masterlist

The beach was completely amazing. The water was warm; the sun was shining and everyone was laughing and having so much fun. Tyler wouldn't let you go in the water without him being by your side, for fear that you'd get knocked down by a wave. Which at first you were totally going to protest, but as the first wave hit, you felt yourself lose a bit of your balance. From then on out, you made sure you only went in just slightly above your ankles if he wasn't around.

On day two, Anna finally convinced you to start your pregnancy shoot, while the boys were out golfing in the afternoon. You'd brought several outfits, along with lingerie, to change into for all the photos Anna had in mind. She started off with some cute dress shots of you on the beach, mostly you walking along in the shallow water, some with the waves splashing around. You changed into one of your bikinis, with cute flowy cover-ups, for a couple of the shots. Moving up the pool, Anna did a few unique shots there as well. She then had you put on a few of the lingerie sets and did some sexy shots just for Tyler in the bedroom.

The lighting was hitting the house perfectly, and they all somehow convinced you to go nude, which was totally out of your comfort zone. The backdrop and lighting created the perfect opportunity for some silhouette shots. "Ok, just lay there and cover your breasts with your left hand. Oh, that's perfect." Anna told you. "Now bend your left knee up and point your toes." You had your hair fanned out behind you, and you weren't sure what made you do it, but you arched your back slightly. "Oh my god, yes, that looks amazing."

"Seriously (Y/N), you look so beautiful. Tyler is going to freak." This was from Liv, as she and Jenna were standing over by Anna, as she snapped shot after shot.

After a few more pictures like that, Anna gave you a gauzy piece of material to wrap around you. You kneeled, keeping your feet under you while you brought the material up to cover your breasts, as much as it would allow. "These are so good (Y/N), I can't wait for you to see them." It felt like you did about a hundred more poses in the next thirty minutes, but soon you were all gathered around Anna's laptop looking at all the photos she took.

"Anna, these are fantastic. How did you make me look so good?" You always knew Anna was an amazing photographer, but each of the pictures she took of you was simply beautiful. She'd even captured some fun playful ones, from when the girls had made you laugh.

"I'm so glad you like them. I can't wait to do some with both you and Tyler."

You were scrolling through all the photos when the guys finally got home. "What are you ladies up to? Because from here it looks like no good." Jamie teased you all as he came over to give Jenna a kiss on the cheek. "Oh wow! (Y/N) these are….wow! They're amazing."

"Awww, thanks, Jame!"

"Ok Chubbs, why are you complimenting my wife?" Tyler asked and you turned so quick, you could've got whiplash as he called you wife.

Thankfully, no one but you and Jenna really noticed and she quickly covered it by saying. "We're all looking at the phenomenal photos Anna took of (Y/N) this afternoon."

"Oh, I want to see." Tyler pushed his way over by you so that he could get a good view on the computer. "Oh my god babe, you look stunning." Anna continued to scroll down thru until she was at the nude ones. Tyler's jaw dropped. "Fuck babe, these are hot."

"Anna did a great job, didn't she?"

"Yeah, she did."

"Thanks, guys, but (Y/N) made it easy. I need to edit them, but I'll do that when we get back home. However, we still have more to take of the two of you." You weren't going to deny that you were looking forward to doing a photo shoot with Tyler and seeing what Anna would do with the two of you together.

"Let me grab a shower, and we can get started if you want?" Tyler seemed eager, now that he'd seen your proofs, to get some pictures of the two of you. With a quick kiss, he headed off to your room. You and Anna exchanged a knowing glance, then burst into giggles.

"Are you good to keep doing this or want to finish them up another day?"

"Are you kidding? I could do this all day. I wish I could make a living doing this. Speaking of which, you don't care if I use some of these to promo my photography business do you?"

"Oh my god, Anna I'd be mad if you didn't. I'll do anything I can to help you." She was a really great photographer and loved it, so if these pictures could help, you were all in. "So what are you thinking for Tyler and me?"

"Well, I thought we could start off here and then move out to the beach and hopefully catch the sunset." It sounded perfect and you nodded, then headed into the bedroom to change and check to see if Ty was ready.

The shower was off, and you could hear the sound of music floating from the bathroom, with Tyler humming along to it as he got ready. It brought a smile to your face. He was splashing a bit of cologne on himself, the one that made you go weak in the knees when you smelled it on him. He saw your reflection in the mirror as you were leaning against the doorframe, just watching him; and he smiled at you. "Hey baby, come here." It was as if your legs had a mind of their own as they made your way over to your husband; where he wrapped you up in his arms. "God I love you." His lips found yours in a searing kiss, that stole your breath away. "Those pictures babe…. you're so gorgeous. I don't think that I've ever seen you look more beautiful. Well, maybe the day I married you."

"Speaking of which, did you realize you called me your wife out there?"

He shrugged his right shoulder. "Oh well, I mean you are my wife."

"I thought we weren't telling anyone? Especially since our family's don't know." You were pretty sure your parents would understand why you and Tyler decided to get married before the baby, but you wanted them to find out from you and not through friends.

"I know. I know." He pulled you a little tighter to him. "I love you so much and I just forget sometimes that I can't call you my wife all the time." He kissed your forehead. "Now stop distracting me so I can finish getting ready."

Rolling your eyes at him, you stepped out of his embrace. "Far be it from me to get in the way of your beauty rituals."

You made your way back into the bedroom, to find the white lingerie set you had on earlier. "Hey babe, what am I supposed to wear?"

"I brought you khakis and a white shirt for the beach. Anna said something about jeans and a t-shirt for a few, so throw that on now." By the time you put the bra and panties back on, Tyler had a pair of jeans on and was coming out of the bathroom.

"Woah!" Just then a knock sounded at the door, which was probably for the best because the look in Tyler's eyes told you, you wouldn't be getting photos taken if he had his way.

"You guys ready?" Anna asked as she swept into your room, camera and accessories in tow. "Ok don't move, the lighting is perfect there." You'd been standing by Tyler, near the sliding glass doors that led outside to the beach. "Well I mean you can pose and stuff, but this will be great."

Tyler held you in his arms and the both of you looked down at the baby growing inside you, as Anna snapped some shots. "Oh wait, should I put a shirt on?"

"Nah, I like the idea that your tattoos are showing." You told him.

"Ok, how about you turn around (Y/N) and both of you can cradle the baby. Yep just like that." She took a bunch more throughout the bedroom before having you lay down on the bed, while Tyler came over the top of you to kiss your bump. In another pose, he was laying on his side behind you, both of you had your hands on the baby while you looked deeply into each other eyes. Tyler would steal kisses every now and then throughout the entire shoot, and you knew Anna captured the whole thing.

By the time you headed outside the sun was perfect. After having a difficult time finding a wedding dress on short notice, you'd ordered a white flowy dress for the pictures off the internet. Anna took tons of photos on the beach, but one of your favorites was holding hands with Tyler, just walking through the water, as the sunset behind you. All the pictures turned out amazing, and you knew that you were going to owe Anna big time.

It was a beautiful night, and by the time you were done with the photo shoot, the chef had dinner all prepared. Everything looked delectable and you hadn't realized how hungry you actually were until there was food in front of you. The meal was delicious and the conversation with all your friends even better. Being in Cabo, just made everyone seem so relaxed and at ease; including your husband. He was laughing and joking with everyone; not that he wasn't normally like this, he was just a bit more carefree at the moment.

As the night went on, all the couples seemed to break off; you and Tyler included. The two of you were just strolling along the beach in the moonlight, enjoying each other's company. "You know babe, we haven't really talked about what we're going to the name the baby."

Tyler was right. While you were prepared for the little one's arrival in almost every other way, you hadn't even begun to talk about names. "So what are you thinking?"

You were headed back to the villa, now just sort of taking your time on the way back. "Hmmm. I like the name Chloe for a girl."

"Eh, I don't really feel that. What about Madison?"

He scrunched up his nose in distaste. "Nope, I dated a Madison once and she was crazy."

"Oh, well if we go by all the women you've dated, we'll never have a girl's name."

His hand that was entwined with yours, tugged you closer to him. "Shut up, I haven't really dated that many women." His lips kissed yours before you could make another smart remark. "Ok, what about boy names then?"

"How about Braydon?" You'd come across the name in one of your baby books and liked the fact of nicknaming them Bray.

"It's not bad. I was honestly thinking of something to go with my Greek background, like Adonis."

You couldn't help it, you burst out laughing. "We are not naming our child Adonis."

"What, Adonis Seguin has a nice ring to it." Even Tyler was laughing when he said the name out loud.

"I like the idea of the Greek origin though. I've always loved Liam, is that Greek?" You hadn't really thought about having either of your ethnicity in the name, but obviously, Tyler had.

"I think that's Irish babe."

"Well, I'm going to have to look up some Greek names that's for sure. What about Layla?"

"Oh no, I mean first off, there's the song and no one is going to be getting down on their knees for my baby girl. Plus I can just hear some guy when she's like eighteen asking if she was a good lay."

"Oh my god, Ty stop! Your imagination is running wild hun." He was really going too far with that one. "I feel like you're speaking from experience on that one." The two of you had finally made it back to the villa and made your way to the lounge outside your bedroom. Tyler sat down, taking you with him so that you were sitting between his legs and leaning on his chest. "Coming up with a name is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be."

"I know. We are going to have to put some serious thought into this." He was rubbing the baby as you laid back and looked at the stars.

"I've always liked how your middle name is your dad's."

"So you want the baby's middle name to be Paul if it's a boy?"

You looked back at your husband. "No silly, I want it to be Tyler. That is unless you want a Tyler Paul Seguin the second?"

"Nah. If we have a boy, I want them to have their own name, especially if he decides to play hockey." Tyler had really thought a lot about naming your child. You weren't sure why that surprised you but it did. From day one he'd made everything about you and the baby his number one priority, so this was no different.

"Well, at least I don't have to worry about calling you big Ty and little Ty."

"Little Ty already got us into this. Though I will add he's not so little."

"Oh my god, you are too much." He was gathering up your dress, hiking it up to your hips.

"Sounds like someone needs a demonstration to prove Lil Ty's size." His lips pressed to the hollow of your neck, a spot that always drove you wild; while his hands slid up your inner thighs.

"Ty, we're literally outside, in plain view."

"So…no one will see. The beach is private, and I doubt any of our friends are going to be stopping over." The heel of his hand pressed down on your clit and you arched back against his chest as a moan fell from your lips. "You can leave the dress on if it makes you feel better." His fingers pushed your panties aside so that they could slip between your folds. "Have you been this wet all day, just waiting until we can be alone like this?"

You hated that he was right. All the photos the two of you had taken, had your mind thinking about when Tyler would touch you just like he was now. You moaned out a yes, as he continued to wiggle his fingers inside of you. His teeth caught your earlobe and he nibbled on it, causing you to shiver in his arms even though the air was still warm. "Turn around and straddle me, babe." He lifted you then, to help you stand. Right as you went to climb back on him, Tyler stopped you. "Panties off babe." He'd had you so hot and bothered, you didn't even register that they were still on. While you stripped off your panties, he undid the fly of his khakis and shoved them halfway down his legs.

As soon as you were divested of everything that covered the bottom half of your body, you gathered your dress and straddled your husband; sinking down on him as his cock filled you up. His hands were on your hips as you adjusted to him inside you. "Fuck baby, you are so beautiful." Leaning down you pressed your lips to his, as you started to ride him; moving up and down slowly. Your hair fanned around your face, concealing you both from everything outside, and part of you wondered what kind of picture the two of you made in that particular moment.

His hips thrust up into you and had his mouth not been on yours, you would've screamed out loud. You ground your hips down on him, creating a friction between your bodies that set your body alive. His mouth broke from yours, "Fuck baby, do that again." This time as you did, he held your hips down and pistoned his cock into you. Within minutes you felt your orgasm start to build. "That's it babe, cum for me." The combination of his words and cock thrusting into you sent you over the edge, and you tossed your head back as your orgasm hit, just like the waves crashing on the shore. With a few last pumps into you, Tyler followed you, as you felt his hot cum squirt inside you.

Your baby bump kept you from collapsing as much as you wanted to on Tyler, and he must have realized that, as he rolled onto his side, taking you with him. The two of you just lay there getting your breathing out of control. Tyler stroked your back, as you lazily drew on his chest. "I love you so much." You softly whispered to him.

"Not as much as I love you." It was almost surreal, the two of you laying there under the stars. If someone had asked you a year ago where you'd be at; you would've never said married to Tyler with a baby on the way. Yet here the two of you were happier than you ever been. How long you stayed like that, you didn't know. It wasn't until a breeze blew off the water and you shivered in Tyler's arms, that he scooped you up off the lounge and carried you inside to bed. He peeled the dress off your body, then stripped himself naked before crawling into bed with you.

The following days were spent relaxing on the beach. The boys would play spikeball from time to time. Everyone even joined in a game of beach volleyball, well everyone except you, as you ended up being all-time scorekeeper and referee. There was a lot of lounging by the pool, with mixed drinks in hand, non-alcoholic for you of course; and dinners were always a big event full of great food and lively conversation. Most nights, you and Tyler would take walks on the beach that always resulted in you making love either outdoors or back at the villa. All in all, it was the best babymoon/honeymoon you could ask for. You were all sad to leave but looked forward to when you could all be together over the summer.

The plane ride home was no different than the one you took down. Tyler making you walk every so often to make sure you kept your circulation going. The following day, you had a checkup with your ob/gyn who assured you everything looked great and that the trip had, had no ill effects on your pregnancy. Which was a huge relief to both you and Tyler.

The two of you fell back into your normal routine, him going to practices, while you took care of things at the house. You had about four days before Tyler's birthday, and you planned a small surprise party for him at the house. His parents and sisters were able to fly in for the occasion and after an intimate dinner with family and a few friends, everyone headed back to your house where you surprised Tyler. "Babe, when did you do all this?"

"I had some time on my hands." You said with a coy little wink. "Now go enjoy your party." He kissed you quickly before he got taken away by some of his teammates wishing him a happy birthday and plying him with drinks. When you'd first told him you'd been pregnant he'd totally stayed away from alcohol since you couldn't drink and he'd only drank very few times since then. Tonight was one of those nights, and as you watched a couple people hand him shots, you knew it was going to be a long night.

About an hour into the party, you lit the candles on the cake you had bought and carried it over to your husband. The entire place sang Happy Birthday, the smile on Tyler's face growing wider as the song ended. "Happy Birthday hun. Make a wish."

"I already have everything I could ever want." He said it loud enough that the entire place could hear it and you caught yourself grinning from ear to ear. Once he blew out the candles, his mom took the cake from you so that it could be cut for the party; while Tyler grabbed you around the waist. His breath smelled of alcohol and you chuckled as it tickled your ear. "Thank you for this. You're the best wife in the world." His words were a bit slurred as he pressed sloppy kisses to your neck.

"Did you just call (Y/N) your wife?" Of course, Cassidy was in earshot and would've heard him call you that. Your mind went blank for a minute, and you could tell Tyler had no clue what to say in his inebriated state.

Thankfully, your brain started to process things and you found yourself saying. "It's silly really, especially since we're not married yet. I think he's practicing so I don't give him hell in the future." She seemed to accept your answer as she headed into the kitchen to help with the cake. Twisting in Tyler's arm, you smacked him playfully before chiding him. "You've got to stop calling me that, or your family is going to find out."

"I'm sorry," He breathed out. "I'm just so used to it just being us. I'll be more careful." He kissed you then and you could taste the alcohol on his lips.

"Babe, you might want to slow down a bit." You warned. "You have a game tomorrow, remember?"

He nodded his agreement. "I know babe. People keep handing me drinks."

"Well just go a little slower." You kissed him again, before wiggling out of his arms. He frowned at you. "I'm going to go help your mom in the kitchen."

He grabbed your waist and pulled you back to him. "Babe, she can handle it. Come and just enjoy the party with me. I haven't got to be with you all night." The pouty look on his face, had you giving in to him.

"Ok, but can we at least have a piece of cake?"

"If my baby needs cake, then that's what we will get." He kept you locked in his embrace as the two of you waddled over to the island where his mom had set out plates of dessert. You grabbed one off the counter and took a forkful getting ready to bring it to your mouth, when Tyler snuck in, taking the bite from you. "What..it's my birthday." He mumbled through his mouthful of cake.

"And I'm your pregnant w…." You caught yourself, right as his mom came over. Quickly you shoved a piece of cake in your mouth.

"You two look like you're up to no good."

"Nah we did that months ago mom, that's how she got this way." Oh my god had Tyler really just said that; your husband really had no filter when he drank, even with his mother.

"Sorry Jackie, he's drinking way too much for someone who hasn't drunk in a few months."

"Oh please (Y/N), that's not the worst he's ever said, that's for sure. How are you feeling sweetie? You've done so much for this party; you need to sit down and prop up your feet."

"Awe that's so sweet, but I'm fine."

"Though I'm dragging her away now so that she can spend time with me," Tyler interjected, as he continued to keep his arms wrapped around you, but pulled you away at the same time.

"Tyler!" you chided him.

"Babe, it's my birthday." He whined.

With an eyeroll, you told him, "You've used that excuse already, but I guess I'll let it slide." You gave him a quick little peck on the cheek. "So where exactly are you taking me in this house full of people?" He opened the french doors and slid you both outside.

The chill in the air caused you to shiver, and Tyler wrapped his arms tighter around you. "I got you, babe."

"Ty, it's freezing, what are we doing out here?"

"I just needed a quiet place so I could tell you thank you for the party, but more importantly, I love you." He twisted your body so you were facing him then, peppering you with kisses.

"Ty, the party?"

"Can wait for a few minutes." He captured your lips, molding his mouth to yours, and for several minutes you forgot that your house was full of people. When he finally broke from you, you both were breathing heavily. "I plan on thanking you properly once all these people leave. I love you (Y/N), thanks for making all my dreams come true."

"I love you too, Ty."

#Nervous Regrets Series #nervous regrets #tyler seguin #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin imagines #tyler seguin smut #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #nhl smut

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lolmouseywritings · 4 years ago

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Cursed Child

So this is what happens when I move, have no internet access to my computer, draw mdzs and watch Paper Dolls 2 gameplay from CJU on my phone.

I will now go back to writing the WenWuxian Au. I’ve been working on.

I hope you enjoy this, and if you’re confused, ask away.

P.S. I wrote this to get it out of my system. First time writing a horror story.

This will be on AO3, I also added the keep reading line

dabaizi: I think this mean brother-in-law. If I’m wrong, please let me know the correct title. I was trying to be accurate.

Summary: Lan Sizhui just wanted to run away. He didn’t realize it would drag him into a curse filled history of Gusu Manor. Running from fierce corpse’s, the ghost general and Yiling Patriarch, he could only hope he can get out of this alive.

Lan Sizhui sighed, his breath fogging up the glass window. He wasn't interested in the passing background, but it was something that got his mind off, as his cousin chastised him.

"Seriously? I know that I run away a lot, but I wasn't expecting you to do it," chastised Jin Ling tugging up his jacket. The chilly air from the mountains of Gusu was unexpected, but it was the place that Sizhui wanted to go.

Twelve years ago his parents passed away unexpectantly from the accident and he was taken in by his A-die and senior. It was fine, he guessed, but in the short while, his senior's health was failing. He was notorious for sleeping in late, but it was apparent that he had trouble getting up. Then he had trouble eating. He wouldn't even drink his favorite wine. Then one day-

He didn't wake up.

A-die didn't fare well, and now he hardly moved from Senior's side.

People called him cursed.

"Come on Jin Ling, no need to be upset, he just needed some space. Right Sizhui?"

"Yeah just ignore little mistress. He was just, if not, more worried than he let on." Then there goes. Jingyi was always riling up Jin Ling. It was a mystery to how they stayed being friends.

"Shut up, you- ZIZHEN! WATCH OUT!" Without question Zizhen swerves, hitting a tree branch and stopping the vehicle.

The boys step out, zipping up their jackets, and look around.

"Hey what the hell was that?" Questioned Jingyi looking straight at Jin Ling.

"There was a deer out on the road."

"There wasn't!"

"There was!" Ignoring the argument, Sizhui looks around and groans in despair. 'Damn the tire is out.' He looks at his phone and wonders just how cursed he is.

"My phone is out, is anyone else's phone working?" Asked Sizhui as the entire group shook their heads. All phones were out of service.

"Dammit! Uncle will break my legs!" Sizhui patted Jin Lings back.

"It's okay.” Jin Ling shakes it off and glares at him. His stance aggressive.

"You don't get to say that, when you packed up and left. I know shit's hard for you, but it's hard on everyone else too."

"Calm down," Zizhen starts. "I'm sure none of us want to be in this situation. Best bet is to go to the nearest town and call for a tow. We can also call our families and let them know where we are."

"The nearest town is Moling. It will take us at least 2 hours to walk! And it's cold and I know that none of us want to walk for that long!" Gripped Jin Ling. Sizhui and Zhizhen shared glances, thinking little mistress.

"HEY I SEE SMOKE!" Exclaimed Jingyi. The group looks up to see what looks like a dilapidated manor. They agree to separate in groups of two. Zizhen and Jingyi at the car and Sizhui and Jin Ling to walk up to the manor and see if they could make a call. Sizhui would have honestly preferred Zizhen or Jingyi. Jin Ling, however, wasn't about to let him out of his sight. He was way too much like his uncle than he cared to admit.

Not a surprised considering how close the Jiang/Wei siblings are. Walking up the mountain was a tiring endeavor as the steps seemed to never end. It was worth it once they reached the entrance until they realized that no one lived in the house.

"I guess the smoke was just our imagination?" Remarked Sizhui.

"So the four of us imagined smoke coming out of this place." Jin Ling rolls his eyes. A nervous laughter escapes Sizhui at Jin Ling's rebuttal. With a sigh, Jin Ling walks up and knocks on the door. The icy breeze passes by, causing both boys to shiver. The door opens with a creek.

With a hesitant step, Jin Ling goes in.

"Hello?" His voice echoes into the manor. Not waiting for Sizhui, he walks in.

"Wait Jin Ling." He walks up the steps ready to follow his friend. As he steps in, it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dark. Or it would have if he didn't feel a sharp pain at the back of his head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You promised me!" "W̷̧̎͌̿͌͋̀́ë̵̟́̍̈́̚i̸̩̭̤̦̱̐-" "You promised me they would be okay! AND NOW THEY ARE DEAD!" "Please, listen!" "I'M DONE LISTENING! I'M DO-" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wake up. Junior master, wake up!" Sizhui groans, placing his hand to where his head felt a throb. He felt nothing wet, so that was wonderful news. There was a however a sizable bump on the back of his head.

"What happened?"

"Quick get up!" He looks up and notices that the voice he kept hearing was nowhere to be found.

"Where are you?"

"I'll tell you but you must leave the room or else-" He hears the heavy dragging of chains. It was his only warning before he hid into an old decorative closet. He held his breath as he took a peak thru the crack.

Pale skin, clumpy lumped black hair, poor posture and old tattered clothing. The chains were black, looked as heavy as they sounded, and covered in blood.

Sizhui had to cover his mouth to hold back the bile as the heavy scent of iron, which he was certain was not only from the chains, filtered into the air. He waited as the groans and dragging chains disappeared into the next room. He gave himself some time to get out.

"Magnificent job," he heard the voice as he looked around to discover its origin. "Take the door on your left and walk down the hallway till you reach a door. It should take you outside. Walk down the path next to the pond until it leads you to a building surrounded by bamboo, the Hanshi. Quickly!"

Without a word Sizhui follows the directions, eyes and ears peeled for anymore unearthly beings. Thank god he didn't have to take the door that- he shivered- thing took.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The man sitting before him was wrapped in gold robes with a peony emblem in front. He held a certain charisma that it almost made Sizhui want to sit down and drink the tea that was sitting innocently on the table. Prepared just for him.

Guangyao, as he presented himself, had the smile that made Sizhui want to run in the opposite direction. Especially when he told him what was happening.

"What do you mean that I'm stuck here?"

"Hm, kids these days are hard of hearing, I guess." Upon looking Sizhui's face Guangyao sighed and refilled his cup. "I mean that until you can set the resentful spirits to rest, there's nothing you can do to escape. The Yiling Patriarch has us trapped here until you can vanquish him."

"And why can't you do it?"

"I tried and failed. Now the Patriarch has me trapped here for who knows how long." Sizhui let out a breath of frustration.

Great! He leaves his home because his life is falling apart, gets caught at the gas station by his friends, their tire blows out because of a random tree branch, even though Jin Ling claims it was a dee- wait!

"JIN LING! Where's my cousin Jin Ling!" Guangyao looks at him confused.

"Jin who?"

"My cousin! He was with me!"

"Ah well, it's possible that he’s lost in the manor as you, Sizhui-er. Though I would start looking. He may end up dead before the night is over."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sizhui cursed his luck for the umpteenth time. There were zombies in here, zombies that moved faster than what he would have liked them too, and some of them liked to explode!

They sucked!

They sucked so hard that- argh!!!!

He hated them!

It didn't help that he met the chained zombie, a fierce corpse, as Guangyao like to call them. He saw him this time when he opened the door, thinking the room was clear, and chased him across the manor. He was lucky enough to find another closet to hide in. As soon as the creature left, Sizhui carefully climbed out and walked to another path.

Ok, so to recap he went to the library and found Elder Teacher's Scroll. It had spells for evocation, suppression, and rest. He didn't understand it much, but once he found the other items that he requested, he was sure Guangyao could help him. He placed the scroll in his back pocket, making sure it was secure.

There was still no sign of Jin Ling increasing his worry, as he hoped his cousin did not have to face those creatures. He kept walking until he heard nothing. The crickets did not chirp and the sound of the wind was ominous. It had a haunting tune, one that spoke of longing-

"Is that a flute? No, it's a-". He looks up to see a man in a black robe, red trim sitting on the rooftop, a red ribbon holding back his hair. It was a black bamboo Dizi, the type that Senior would love to get his hands on and play. It looked like the man did not hear him until he opened his eyes, looking straight at him. They had a red glow to them that spoke of pain and suffering.

"Sen-"

"My, my, look what the mouse dragged in! Tell me, what did you do to get trapped in here?" The animosity in his voice forced Sizhui to recoil back. The laughter sent a frigid chill down his spine.

This wasn't, this wasn't-

"No matter, let's get rid of the pests, shall we, Hanguang-jun?" With a few notes from the Dizi, the room marked Jingshi bursts open and out popped a man dressed in a white robe as if he was in mourning, a white ribbon around his forehead and his long bangs covered his face.

Sizhui moved out of the way as the blade cut thru his jacket sleeve. The sting on his arm caused him to hiss. Run! He thought. He had to run so he could stay alive.

He ran to the path towards the classroom, but the man had an unnatural speed to him. He was upon him, but Sizhui did not plan to give up. He took another direction, and he was there. Another and he too was there. No matter what path he took, he was right in front of him.

Fleeing would not work, so he looked around and found an old rusted blade. He held up to block a strike from above and fell, feeling the shock to his very bones. Such a ferocious attack!

It didn't appear, as the man walked to him slowly carrying what looked like an air of serenity, but the movement and aggressiveness of his blade was monstrous. It betrayed the strength that this fierce corpse was capable of.

Sizhui couldn't even get up. It was stupid! He thought fighting that thing was his only choice to live, and now he regretted it.

He thought of the mischievous laughter and the stern but reassuring ‘Mn' from his guardians, his parents, as he closed his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Wen Qing, Wen Ning, it's okay! I'll give them the Stygian Tiger Seal and I'll go to Gusu. When I do that, they'll leave you and everyone else alone."

"Ẅ̵̧̨̠͇̦̩̹͕̰͉̥͔̪̯̱̙́̉̅͛́̅̎̔̎́̐́̔̃̃́̏̍͑̀̃͘̕͜ͅẻ̷̤̼̭̭͍̮̝͎̪̯͕͈͔̻͍͐͒̾̌͊̆̂̓̿̋̇̾͊̾̎̒̉̆͜͠į̴̛̤̩͕̙̗̥̠̦̬̙͈̗̟̖̆̽̃́͂̀̏̀͒̊̎̔̇̎̈̃̿͑̋̄̚͝ ̵̨̛̘̯͈̻̔͋͒̀͌̀̌́̌͋W̴̨̛̖̮̖̫̗̣̫͖̣̌̌̏̃̀̐̔̐̆͛͛̆̿͆̀̈͑͂͌͑̈́̂̓̕u̷̧̖͈͕̹̬̫͓̲̠͉̭͐̈́̓͋͐x̶̳͓̪̟̯̜̯̳͙̳͇̪̳̻̳̦̺̲̝̟̓̄͋̅̈́̑̋͜͠i̴̛͌͑͛̌̃̎̇̔̀̋̈́̊͊̚͠͠��̢̨̛̙̱̺͍̜͚̗̟͉̗̹̘̝̦͋̉̓̽͜ͅͅa̶̹͖̤̝̗̻̹͎̦̤͚̮̯̪͎͇͕̗̫͙̠̹̹̎̇̀̈́͆̃̃̈́̈̈́̈̎͜͠͝͝n̵̳͉̤͈̗̽̏͛̈́͗̊͝͠, you know we can't accept this! You paid your debt! You took us out of the camp, you brought my brother back. Don't do this!" Ẅ̵̧̨̠͇̦̩̹͕̰͉̥͔̪̯̱̙́̉̅͛́̅̎̔̎́̐́̔̃̃́̏̍͑̀̃͘̕͜ͅẻ̷̤̼̭̭͍̮̝͎̪̯͕͈͔̻͍͐͒̾̌͊̆̂̓̿̋̇̾͊̾̎̒̉̆͜͠į̴̛̤̩͕̙̗̥̠̦̬̙͈̗̟̖̆̽̃́͂̀̏̀͒̊̎̔̇̎̈̃̿͑̋̄̚͝ ̵̨̛̘̯͈̻̔͋͒̀͌̀̌́̌͋W̴̨̛̖̮̖̫̗̣̫͖̣̌̌̏̃̀̐̔̐̆͛͛̆̿͆̀̈͑͂͌͑̈́̂̓̕u̷̧̖͈͕̹̬̫͓̲̠͉̭͐̈́̓͋͐x̶̳͓̪̟̯̜̯̳͙̳͇̪̳̻̳̦̺̲̝̟̓̄͋̅̈́̑̋͜͠i̴̢̨̛̛̙̱̺͍̜͚̗̟͉̗̹̘̝̦͌͑͛̌̃̎̇̔̀̋̈́̊͊̾͋̉̓̽̚͜͠͠ͅͅa̶̹͖̤̝̗̻̹͎̦̤͚̮̯̪͎͇͕̗̫͙̠̹̹̎̇̀̈́͆̃̃̈́̈̈́̈̎͜͠͝͝n̵̳͉̤͈̗̽̏͛̈́͗̊͝͠ shakes his head.

"They have to, besides my control isn't the same as before. It won't be long before they break through the seal. At least this way I can save-" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CLANG!

Sizhui opened his eyes as he saw that the blade, ready to strike him, wrapped in chains. The howl sent a shiver up his spine as the chain pulled back, sending Hanguang-jun back to fight the fierce corpse that followed him.

'I guess they're not friends!' He thought as he looked up and saw that the mysterious Dizi player gone. Seeing an opening, Sizhui runs into the Jingshi and looks for the instrument, a Guqin. It sat on the table next to two white jars covered with a white cloth. From the smell of the fermentation, he could tell that taking a sip would burn his throat.

He shook his head. He had no time to think of such things and grabbed the instrument. It would be too heavy to lug this around and heads to the Hanshi.

He forced himself to forget that Senior looked like the man from the rooftop, along with the laughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He told Guangyao all about the Hanguang-jun and the mysterious man from the roof.

"Great, he knows you are here. Look if you see them again just run. When Hanguang-jun died they already knew him as one of the top cultivators. As for the man you saw, well, the Yiling Patriarch is an entirely different beast on his own. His ability to cultivate resentful energy is how he can bring fierce corpse's to life." He sips from the tea, savors it, then sets it down.

"From what you told me the Ghost General-"

"Ghost General?" Sizhui receives a silent reprimand from him causing him to stop talking.

"It's rude to interrupt. The fierce corpse with the chains. They knew him as Wen Ning, the Ghost General of the Yiling Patriarch. Though I find it odd that they would be fighting. Maybe something happened?" Sizhui shrugs. Everything was going over his head. Really, the sensible thing would be to grab Jin Ling and run to the edge of the forest and find a way out.

Jin Ling was still missing, though, and Guangyao had no way of knowing where he might be. Plus, it wasn't as if he could leave the Hanshi. He’s stuck in this beautiful and dark room, a partition serving as a cutoff from the tea table and the bed.

He notices a figure sitting slouched forward.

"So you've noticed my roommate."

"Who is he?"

"The last Sect master of Gusu, Zewu-jun."

"He's alive!"

"Hardly. He’s also afflicted by the same curse as me." Before he could ask more Guangyao smiles at him. "It's best that you look for the next items on the list."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With supplies ready, given by Guangyao, and an old rusted sword he found, which he knew he was useless with, made Sizhui felt slightly braver. Hopefully, the talisman's would be helpful.

The Library Pavilion was tricky to get to. He knew something was following him and knowing what the denizens of this cursed place was like, Sizhui was rightfully hesitant to meet this creature.

Finally reaching the place, he walks around looking for the secret passageway. Being in the library, however, he could not help but look at an open book talking about a chord assassination technique. Backing away, he forced himself not to jump when he heard whispers.

Lan-er-gege! You can't be mad! I've called your name so many times. Sizhui stops there. Lan? That's his family name. Why would he hear his family name? He thought back about his parents saying that they had an ancestral home once. But they never finished telling him anymore than that. After all, how could they when the 18 wheeler hit them, pushing their car over-

"Find the secret passage. Find the flags. Find the secret passage. Find the flags." He tripped. Face smacking the floor.

Did he mention how much he hated this place?

He rubbed his nose, checking for blood. Thankfully, there wasn't any and looked to see his foot caught on a handle. A handle that led to a door under the library. The secret passageway. He pulls it up and walks down the staircase.

Dust and cobwebs covered the entire place. Gulping he walks forward using the sword to clear the way making sure to not disturb any of the spiders.

"Well, I know that Jin Ling is definitely not here. He would just screech at this sight." He finds a stack of flags at the end of the room next to a jar. He makes a quick count and realizes he’s short one.

"Okay, where's the last one?" Looking around, he feels a sudden vertigo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Come to Gusu with me.

I can't. What will happen to the Wen's? You know that the other Sects want them dead.

I can talk to brother.

I- I

Please W̴̢̳̻̮̪̱̤̖̲̤̟̱͌̈͌̆̚͠͠ͅę̶̮͖͍̕ḯ̴̛͚͉̜̙͉̰̱͐͝ ̴̲̺̭̰̆̈́͐́͒̀̋̋̋̓̾̕͠͝W̴̨̛̖̮̖̫̗̣̫͖̣̌̌̏̃̀̐̔̐̆͛͛̆̿͆̀̈͑͂͌͑̈́̂̓̕u̷̧̖͈͕̹̬̫͓̲̠͉̭͐̈́̓͋͐x̶̳͓̪̟̯̜̯̳͙̳͇̪̳̻̳̦̺̲̝̟̓̄͋̅̈́̑̋͜͠i̴̢̨̛̛̙̱̺͍̜͚̗̟͉̗̹̘̝̦͌͑͛̌̃̎̇̔̀̋̈́̊͊̾͋̉̓̽̚͜͠͠ͅͅa̶̹͖̤̝̗̻̹͎̦̤͚̮̯̪͎͇͕̗̫͙̠̹̹̎̇̀̈́͆̃̃̈́̈̈́̈̎͜͠͝͝n̵̳͉̤͈̗̽̏͛̈́͗̊͝͠ come to Gusu. I will talk to brother. The Wen's will be safe. A̷͕̯͔̖̤͖̫̼̫̹̼͛̏͆͑͆͂̏̏͊͂͂́͘-̵̡͍̗̬̯͚̹̹̱̼̰̟̘̩̖̥́̐̄̈́Ỵ̵̢̮͎͚̱̗̯̘̹̉̋̂̔̓̍̇͆͗̈̃͑̐̈́̋̋̐͊̉͛̚͘͝͝ͅu̸̧̡̖͕̼̗͓̳͙͍̠̹̙̗̙̘̥͍̯͖̫̦̣͆̊͠͝ȧ̶̡̖̳̫̟͔̣̩̋̔̀̆̀̒͠ň̸̢̧̨̛̘̠̗͍͇̭̯̪̠͕̤͈͚͔̟͕͔͖̖͕͌̇̈́̿̏̈̇́̃̏̈́̎̃̚̚͜͠ will be safe-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A hand holds him up, and he calls out a name.

"Jin Ling?"

"Jin Ling? There is no Jin Ling, though there is a bastard with that family name." Her hair was up and her dirty black robes have seen better days. It looked burnt and ashy. She had a stern face, but oddly he felt the urge to see her smile. He shakes the thought and looks back, her face familiar, though he knows he never met her.

"Who-" She shushes him as they hear footsteps from above. It was slow and methodical. He catches sight of a white robe. Eyes widening, he hopes that his heartbeat would not betray their location. They lean back against the wall, standing still as statues. She silently signals him to follow her. He watches as she walks a few steps past the bookshelf to reveal a secret door, initially hidden by the shadows of the room. He works his way towards her.

The jar, caught by his jacket, falls with a loud crash. The woman gasps and holds out her hand. He darts to the door as Hanguang-jun breaks down the floor beneath him. As they enter, the woman is quick to close the opening making a grating rocky sound. The stone door should hopefully hold off the fierce corpse. His companion seemed to think otherwise.

"Quickly! Follow me!" They run down the passageway which leads to the forest.

"He's still following us!"

"How do you know?" The sound of trees and branches falling behind him answers his question. Leaving him to wonder if this Hanguang-jun was strong enough to cut through the stone.

He's forced to stop when the woman turns towards him. From her robes she pulls out a needle which she uses to cut his cheek. He hisses as he watches her make a sigil. Something red and hazy appears next to her.

"You go down the path quickly, I'll meet you soon!" He didn't question her and took the path she pointed. He stopped at a dead end. For once it wasn't scary, in fact there were rabbits there. Sizhui sits down by the tree and hugs himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

W̷̧̪̱͚͖̅̐̌̀́͠ȇ̶̛̹̜̐̋̀̎̈̄͝į̸̡̗̤͈̪͉̈́ ̷̟̻͔̋̋̓͂̌̋͊W̴̨̛̖̮̖̫̗̣̫͖̣̌̌̏̃̀̐̔̐̆͛͛̆̿͆̀̈͑͂͌͑̈́̂̓̕u̷̧̖͈͕̹̬̫͓̲̠͉̭͐̈́̓͋͐x̶̳͓̪̟̯̜̯̳͙̳͇̪̳̻̳̦̺̲̝̟̓̄͋̅̈́̑̋͜͠i̴̢̨̛̛̙̱̺͍̜͚̗̟͉̗̹̘̝̦͌͑͛̌̃̎̇̔̀̋̈́̊͊̾͋̉̓̽̚͜͠͠ͅͅa̶̹͖̤̝̗̻̹͎̦̤͚̮̯̪͎͇͕̗̫͙̠̹̹̎̇̀̈́͆̃̃̈́̈̈́̈̎͜͠͝͝n̵̳͉̤͈̗̽̏͛̈́͗̊͝͠. I love you.

Ah, L̷͍̣̟̬̤̹̝̜̪̮̭̈̌̀̿̑͑̈́̐̈́̐̇ȃ̵̧̫͕̪̰̻n̴͔̳͖͗̑͒ ̸̲̖̜͕̈́̀̂͌̏̐͂̇̎̚͘Ŵ̴̭͊̾̎̌̆͜͠a̴͍͉̳͍̐̓͜͜ͅͅͅn̴̜̺͖̰͉͖̻̆̂̾̓̈́̕g̸̗̈́͋͂̊̑͌̇͝͝j̸̢͓̣͎̟͠i̶͇̚! Warn me when you tell me things like this.

L̷͍̣̟̬̤̹̝̜̪̮̭̈̌̀̿̑͑̈́̐̈́̐̇ȃ̵̧̫͕̪̰̻n̴͔̳͖͗̑͒ ̸̲̖̜͕̈́̀̂͌̏̐͂̇̎̚͘Ŵ̴̭͊̾̎̌̆͜͠a̴͍͉̳͍̐̓͜͜ͅͅͅn̴̜̺͖̰͉͖̻̆̂̾̓̈́̕g̸̗̈́͋͂̊̑͌̇͝͝j̸̢͓̣͎̟͠i̶͇̚, take responsibility and hug me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He wakes with a start.

That wasn't- that wasn't them.

It looked like them, but it wasn't them.

"Hey Sizhui! Wake up or I'll break your legs!" Sizhui rubs his eyes as he looks up to finally sees his cousin.

"Jin Ling, where were you?" Jin Ling scoffs.

"Looking for you! Come one let's get out of here. This place is creepy." Sizhui nods and stands up. They walk out of the grove.

"What were you doing, anyway?" Jin Ling asks, rubbing his arms up and down. Seems he lost his jacket while searching for him.

"I was running from zombies." Jin Ling stops to look at him, then laughs mockingly.

"I'm serious! These fierce corpses were chasing me, and I had to run around getting these items. Look! I had to grab these flags to do a ritual-" He feels a sharp pinch on his arm. "Hey!"

"Can you hear yourself," asks Jin Ling as he tsks. "Zombies, rituals, really Sizhui I know you don't want to go home but stop playing around."

"I'm not-"

"Really? Then why don't you go visit jiu'jiu'-Xian? Visit-"

"I'm not playing!"

"As if! Look, I know the shit that everyone is saying. Cursed child, whatever! You just punch them in the face!"

"uh... A-die says I shouldn't."

"Your A-die doesn't even respond anymore. Coward." Sizhui turns his head sharply, eyes narrowing. Jin Ling raises his hand up. "Sorry. Low blow, but I'm serious. Everyone is worried about you and you can ignore those gossiping blowhards. They just want to say something to feel important." Sizhui doesn't even bother to get after for him.

"How did you find me, anyway? I didn't leave any notes." Jin Ling raises his eyes in disbelief.

"We sent pictures on the web and tv. Some dude caught sight of you at the gas station." Odd, he only saw granny there taking care of the counter and there were no cars around. Maybe it was a passing vehicle and the guy just saw him. It didn't matter. He tried to run because he wanted to escape. Better for everyone.

Ever since his parents died A-die and Senior took care of him as if he was their child. They still told stories about his mama and baba. A-die even taught him how to play the Guqin, though he knew he was rusty now. He stopped playing when A-die stopped responding. That was almost six months ago. Now he was the cursed kid that no one wanted to be around. Anyone that takes care of him meets a grisly end. He receives a harsh slap on his back.

"Hey, when we get back I'll stand by you and help you beat up those whinny ninnies." Sizhui snorts.

"Whinny ninnies? Have you been hanging out with Jiu'jiu-Cheng?" Jin Ling scoffs looking away, but not before Sizhui caught sight of his face turning red. It was then that they heard moans coming from one of the forked paths.

"Sizhui. Tell me you were really kidding about those zombies." Jin Ling stares at Sizhui, who shakes his head. They both turn just in time to see the fierce corpses heading towards them, now running since it caught sight of them.

With no prompting, they ran side by side to the hallways of Gusu Manor. Left, right they ran to hide from the monsters, but no matter where they went they found themselves unable to outrun them. It was as if there was a tracker on them. Letting these creatures were they were going.

Sizhui has a horrid realization.

"Jin Ling! Take this path! It should lead you to the Hanshi, you should be safe there!"

"What? No!"

"Do it! Wait for me there! I will meet you there!" He pushes his cousin and runs the opposite direction. The fierce corpses ignore Jin Ling and follow him instead.

Damn Guangyao! Couldn't he have told him that these flags were a damn beacon for these monsters! And he wanted to smack himself for leaving the sword behind. Though it would do much good since he had a horde.

He remembers the talisman and finds one that say's repress. As he runs he is quick to grab a box that was the perfect size for the flags, place them inside and places the talisman on it. It glows a light blue and slowly it appears as if he is losing them. Once he ran far enough, he found that he was further than he intended from the manor.

Luck was on his side when he caught sight of large, trumpet-shaped flowers. They were an intense blue. Finally, Sizhui was on his way to the Gentian house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arriving at the house was no trouble. It was the last item that was the issue. Guangyao had told him that at the Gentian House there should house the Stygian Tiger Seal. The only thing he found was the missing flag, which he placed in the box for safekeeping.

No matter where he looked, he could not find the item in question. Under the bed, in the desk drawer, the bookshelf with a sealed red and white urn, he even went to look under the boards, but nothing. He was about to call it quits when he heard the door open.

He hides in the closet and peeks to see the Yiling Patriarch. He looked around, confused. Crap! He’s bound to notice him.

"Aiyah! I must have left a mess. Oh, well." He sits down, pulls out a board and reaches in. From there, he pulls out a bottle that reads Emperor's Smile.

"He, he, he There's not much left so I may as well enjoy what's left." He pulls off the seal and drinks it. The fermentation strong in the air. Sizhui tries not to gag.

THUD! THUD!

He holds his breath when he sees the man stand up, angry.

"Get lost!"

THUD! THUD!

"GET LOST!" He hears the bottle of wine crash against the door, the resentful energy feeling thick in the air.

"GET LOST! GET LOST! GET LOST! DIRTY LIAR! CRUEL WORTHLESS DIRTY LIAR! MURDERER!" Sizhui almost felt faint by how much resentment was filling the air. Thick inky clouds expelled from the Yiling Patriarch. He wanted to cry, yell, anything, but all he could do was let out a pitiful sob. He sits back, upset.

It becomes quiet, the energy he felt gone. Sizhui covers his mouth. Did he hear him?

He sits still, listening. The footsteps are slow, as if trying to make the most minimal sound as possible. Maybe he heard but didn't know where the sound came from? If he's lucky he can sneak out and distract the Yiling Patriarch and maybe come back?

The door opens as a pale hand pulls him out. He screams as he's thrown to the partition.

"Oh, and look at this small mouse. Did you think I would not find you?" Sizhui crawls back, trying to get away from the man. The steps he took were still slow, but also predatory. The resentment, the ominous clouds now hung heavy in the air.

"Tell me what are you looking for mouse? Maybe I can help you?" Teased the man viciously. Sizhui is still crawling back until he finds an incense burner.

He throws it. It didn't hit him, but it gave him the chance he was looking for, which was to run to the door. As he opened the door, he barely missed being decapitated when he ducked to an opening.

"Damn that Hanguang-jun!" He doesn't turn to look back. But he could feel that they were close, which was bad. All the running was getting to him. He didn't know how long he could keep it up. He was about to trip, when he’s suddenly wrapped in chains and pulled up to the sky.

He's caught by the Ghost General. His heart, wrought in fear, goes to his throat as he faints.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stop following the demonic path

Ah, L̷͍̣̟̬̤̹̝̜̪̮̭̈̌̀̿̑͑̈́̐̈́̐̇ȃ̵̧̫͕̪̰̻n̴͔̳͖͗̑͒ ̸̲̖̜͕̈́̀̂͌̏̐͂̇̎̚͘Ŵ̴̭͊̾̎̌̆͜͠a̴͍͉̳͍̐̓͜͜ͅͅͅn̴̜̺͖̰͉͖̻̆̂̾̓̈́̕g̸̗̈́͋͂̊̑͌̇͝͝j̸̢͓̣͎̟͠i̶͇̚, you have no-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

L̷͍̣̟̬̤̹̝̜̪̮̭̈̌̀̿̑͑̈́̐̈́̐̇ȃ̵̧̫͕̪̰̻n̴͔̳͖͗̑͒ ̸̲̖̜͕̈́̀̂͌̏̐͂̇̎̚͘Ŵ̴̭͊̾̎̌̆͜͠a̴͍͉̳͍̐̓͜͜ͅͅͅn̴̜̺͖̰͉͖̻̆̂̾̓̈́̕g̸̗̈́͋͂̊̑͌̇͝͝j̸̢͓̣͎̟͠i̶͇̚, than-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ẅ̵̧̨̠͇̦̩̹͕̰͉̥͔̪̯̱̙́̉̅͛́̅̎̔̎́̐́̔̃̃́̏̍͑̀̃͘̕͜ͅẻ̷̤̼̭̭͍̮̝͎̪̯͕͈͔̻͍͐͒̾̌͊̆̂̓̿̋̇̾͊̾̎̒̉̆͜͠į̴̛̤̩͕̙̗̥̠̦̬̙͈̗̟̖̆̽̃́͂̀̏̀͒̊̎̔̇̎̈̃̿͑̋̄̚͝ ̵̨̛̘̯͈̻̔͋͒̀͌̀̌́̌͋W̴̨̛̖̮̖̫̗̣̫͖̣̌̌̏̃̀̐̔̐̆͛͛̆̿͆̀̈͑͂͌͑̈́̂̓̕u̷̧̖͈͕̹̬̫͓̲̠͉̭͐̈́̓͋͐x̶̳͓̪̟̯̜̯̳͙̳͇̪̳̻̳̦̺̲̝̟̓̄͋̅̈́̑̋͜͠i̴̢̨̛̛̙̱̺͍̜͚̗̟͉̗̹̘̝̦͌͑͛̌̃̎̇̔̀̋̈́̊͊̾͋̉̓̽̚͜͠͠ͅͅa̶̹͖̤̝̗̻̹͎̦̤͚̮̯̪͎͇͕̗̫͙̠̹̹̎̇̀̈́͆̃̃̈́̈̈́̈̎͜͠͝͝n̵̳͉̤͈̗̽̏͛̈́͗̊͝͠ .

Did you forget what we promised? What's right and what's wrong?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you hear? The Jin Sect is cursed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another vision. Great. Ever since his hit on the head he tried to ignore them as time passed, but whatever happened back then seemed to want to make itself known. No matter if the audience is unwilling or not. He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes.

He awoke in what looked like a boarding room for school kids. As he got up, he’s quickly pushed down.

"You need to rest. You've had a hard night." It was the woman from before.

"No, no, I need to continue"

"And as a doctor I need you to sleep. My brother found you and saved you from those two." Sizhui’s confused.

"Your brother. He fought the Ghost General?”

"He is the Ghost General." His eyes widened as he looked around. "He's not here, but I am. My name is Wen Qing and you are?"

"Lan Sizhui." He noticed her hand stiffened for a moment, then continue with his wounds. She wrapped and cleaned his arm with a bandage and was now cleaning a wound was on the wing of his back. Funny, it must have been the adrenaline running in his system. He didn’t realize he was injured till now.

"What exactly are you doing? Running around, you should be leaving, not staying." She reprimanded as she cleaned and tidied up her supplies.

"I was told that I could not leave until I broke the curse."

"And who told you that?"

"Guangyao." Her hand freezes just as she was about to close her box.

"Guangyao? Jin Guangyao, you're listening to that beast!"

"What are you talking about?" He asked, understanding now that there was something more to his mysterious benefactor.

"He didn't tell me he was a Jin, just that his name is Guangyao." Wen Qing scoffs.

"Only because he doesn't want his crimes to be known. Listen here! You need to stay away from that man. He will only use you and throw you away once you're no longer any use to him."

"What do you mean?!" Wen Qing sighs.

"He is the reason that this curse came to be. A long time ago our leader, Wen Ruohan, lost the war and they killed the survivors off. Only Wei Wuxian stood for us since we save him and his brother." She closes the box and puts it away.

"During the war he created the Stygian Tiger Seal. It was powerful, but it did its job, however later on he grew to fear how much resentful energy it was consuming. So he made a deal with the remaining Sects. He would give himself up and the Stygian Tiger Seal. In return, the Sects would let us live in peace." "I'm guessing that's not what happened."

"They killed us all and those remaining died without medical help. Even the smallest-" she chocked as tears fell from her eyes.

"You're not alive. Are you?"

"I died trying to hide little A-Yuan. But from what I hear, he didn't make it." She wipes away the tears.

"I don't get it. Why is it Jin Guangyao's fault?"

"It's his fault because under his father's order, he incited the other clans to attack by killing Sect Leader Nie and blaming us for it. If it wasn't for his brother, Nie Huaisang, finding out, then everyone would have believed we were guilty. I only know this because even now the remaining spirits love to whisper, but Nie Huaisang, visited Wei Wuxian. He was heartbroken when he couldn't visit A-Yuan's funeral. They thought he was there to console him. They were friends during their schooling here in Gusu. Then a few days later he activated the curse. And now we are here, stuck in Gusu, unable to move on."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

L̵̡̧̢̞̦̰͖͍͚͉̳͒͌̀͗̀â̵̧̯̫̦̳̟͉͖̣̝̄̆͑̆̾̑̈́n̶̥̔͋́̈̊́͘ ̸̢͉̬̞̲̘͎͊̐Ŵ̴̭͊̾̎̌̆͜͠a̴͍͉̳͍̐̓͜͜ͅͅͅn̴̜̺͖̰͉͖̻̆̂̾̓̈́̕g̸̗̈́͋͂̊̑͌̇͝͝j̸̢͓̣͎̟͠i̶͇̚ stood outside-

-wail in agony.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Jin Ling! Jin Ling! Where are you?!" He pulled open the door, not caring about the commotion he was causing.

Both of them were getting out of here, he thought. They weren't staying there a minute longer.

"Sizhui-er! What's the matter?!" Guangyao appeared by the partition as he walked over to calm the teenager.

"My cousin! I sent him here. I know it. I saw him head this way."

"No, no, no, I saw no one come by. Here," he pours a cup of tea and presents it to Sizhui. It felt warm to the touch. "Drink this. You would feel better afterwards." Sizhui stared at the cup and felt a surge of anger as he threw the teacup, not quite hitting Jin Guangyao, but close enough.

"ENOUGH! Enough with the lies! Enough with the half-truths! Tell me what do my parents Lan Zhan and Wei Ying have to do with the spirits of Hanguang-jun and the Yiling Patriarch!?"

Jin Guangyao sighed, sat down, as if he was the one who ran around this damn place, tired. He looked at him straight in the eyes.

"It took a while to find all of you, you know."

"Excuse me?!"

"Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are the reincarnations of Lan Wangji, Hanguang-jun and Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch. Or rather, their half-reincarnations. So I called them. Pulled their souls over here." Sizhui punched him.

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT MY PARENTS ARE COMATOSED BECAUSE OF YOU!" Guangyao laughed, not a care in the world. The secret now out.

"See I made many choices, choices that led to the deaths of an entire sect, that led to the terrible descent into madness for Wei Wuxian. I didn't care. I was working my way to getting my father's approval, or at least I thought I did." He grunts as he gets up, wiping the blood from his lip.

"I was a war hero and shared the cups of brotherhood with two other known figures from the war, Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen. Yet, no matter what I did, it wasn't enough." He gave an empty laugh. Sizhui felt uncomfortable as he felt the despair.

"I ruined Sects for that man so that our Sect could stand on top. I killed one venerated brother so there would be no opposition, had the Wen-dog survivors blamed so we would kill them off. I destroyed Wei Wuxian's reason for living and relationship so we could appear righteous and powerful. Then I destroyed the one that truly mattered." Sizhui gulped as the man in front of him reminisced.

"I didn't mean to, but I failed to see how much Huanguang-Jun loved Wei Wuxian. It was easy to see how much Zewu-jun loved his brother, and for him I made sure no harm would come to his little brother. Zewu-jun, he called me his equal. I wasn't some son of a prostitute, I was special to him. When I had the Wen's killed, the Yiling Patriarch cast his curse, which Huanguang-jun accepted... I saw how Zewu-jun broke down to see his brother give up, be taken willingly."

“Hanguang-jun blamed himself.” Stated Sizhui. Jin Guangyao nodded.

"Yes, and maybe he wanted to show that he would stand by Wei Wuxian's side. Who knows, that man didn't speak much, always keeping his thoughts to himself. Like I said, I didn't care about anyone else except for my father's approval and... Zewu-jun, Lan Xichen." Sizhui looks back at the man sitting on the other side of the room, hidden by the partition.

"Discovering what I did, Zewu-jun immediately blamed himself, for without his blessing's and his help, I would not have been able to do the things I did. When I tried to break the curse, the reason we couldn't was because of me. Zewu-jun could no longer trust me. So we- I failed. The only thing we did was just forcefully subdue part of the spirits." Jin Guangyao clenched his teeth, holding back the tears that threatening to spill from his eyes.

"My betrayal was too much, the pain that it wrought was too heavy, that he just shut down. I don't care wether any of the spirits here can find healing, but for Zewu-jun I want to break this curse and maybe he can finally move on." Sizhui sighed.

He just wanted to find his cousin and get the hell out. However, hearing what happened to the Wen siblings living the half cursed life. The memories of Lan Wangji sitting outside the Gentian house when he wanted to get Wei Wuxian to at least talk to him, hear him, see him. The pain when Wei Wuxian wanted to save little A-Yuan only to die. He never even got to see his body to mourn properly. Damn his bleeding heart.

"Fine, let's get started."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Mingshi was musty smelling, perhaps from the mold, dark and littered with cobwebs. They worked quickly to clear it with only the light of the moon, from the broken ceiling, to guide them. Though ominous, Gusu must have been a beautiful place. He could almost imagine the foliage from the outside, how the ponds and rivers would have trickled and the birds singing.

But it wasn't. He would need his friends' hands to count how many steps he broke from him just placing the slightest pressure. He picked up the scroll and read the evocation and rest. As he told Guangyao it had been a while, but he hoped he could remember the hand placement to play these scores.

A nagging question had been on Sizhui's mind. Would the ritual work? And why? Figuring it wouldn't hurt to ask, Sizhui turned to ask Guangyao the nagging question.

"Sizhui-er, I have every belief that this ritual will work."

"And why is that?"

"Because, you have Wen Yuan's spirit." Sizhui's blank face caused Guangyao to sigh heavily.

"Part of the reason for Wei Wuxian's madness is that he blames himself for his adopted son's death. When he realizes that you're the reincarnation of Wen Yuan it may settle him down enough to allow us to play Rest for the peace that he denied himself." With all the cloak and dagger from Guangyao, his word was useless. So why go along with this?

"And if that does not work?"

"In the words of today's youth, we are totally screwed" Sizhui snorts. Guangyao side glances at him questioningly.

"You are out of touch."

"Shut up." Odd how that reminded him of Jin Ling. That is the most frustrating part. He met his cousin finally only to lose track of him.

He's startled when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

"I have it on good authority that your cousin is fine." Sizhui felt a familiar course of anger but was too tired to act on it.

"Is this something you've known for a while?"

"Not until I had confirmation." Knowing the man by now, that could have been a few hours ago or maybe right from the beginning. It was no use now.

Quickly they set the Spirit Flags and drew the sigil for evocation from the Elder Teacher's scroll. He pivots to see Guangyao holding the flute, Liebling as he called it, touching the mouthpiece, his lips pursed.

"Will you be able to play it?" Guangyao snaps out of his trance and nods.

"I've practiced, just not with this instrument, but it should be no different." Sizhui nods and takes his place.

"What do we do about the Stygian Tiger Seal?" That had been the only thing he hadn't been unable to bring with him since he had to run for his life. Really, he would do anything to not get near the madman.

He... he wanted to go home with his A-die and Senior.

"He'll bring it with him. There is no way that he would leave without it." Guangyao ignored Sizhui's glare as he puffed in indignation.

"Then what was the point of me going to the Gentian House?"

"To let him know that I haven't stopped."

Lan Sizhui had to count to twenty in order not to kill Jin Guangyao.

"You are the most aggravating man I ever met."

"Yes, Dage would tell me that often." He was not laughing. He wants to go home. Wants to find Jin Ling. Eat Lotus Pork Rib Soup and forget that this night ever existed. Sadly, he let himself get duped, he realized. He should have grabbed his cousin the first chance he found him and just ran the hell out of this place. Now he’s stuck here, baiting a madman who apparently had every right to curse this place, who held... Senior's soul.

He realized the implication now. Did Senior not wake up because now, in his previous life, Wei Wuxian the Yiling Patriarch held his soul. It would make sense, weirdly. The doctors could not find out why he refused to wake up. There was no brain damage, no previous health problems. He was just asleep. A-Die is like that too. They had trouble waking him up, and now his appetite was non-existent.

That broke him.

He couldn't see him go down the same path as Senior. He was the one lifeline he had against, the vicious rumors that sprouted. Cursed child.

He left for that reason.

His parents died trying to get home quick to surprise him. A-Die and Senior are now dying because Guangyao called their spirits back and the only way to save them is to put the Yiling Patriarch and Hanguang-jun to rest. The doors open and the few candles that Guangyao lit flicker off, one by one. Sizhui follows Guangyao's lead as he plays Clarity. He did not understand what was happening, but he could feel the coaxing influence as Guangyao directed the energy to circle around them.

"My, my Lianfang-zun, you're still here? I would have thought you'd have wasted away," joked Wei Wuxian as he walked through the door. He wasn't alone. Behind him were scores of fierce corpses in faded blue and white robes marred with dirt and blood. They stood there as if in attention.

It became apparent why, when the Stygian Tiger Seal is pulled from his sleeves, floating in his hands.

"If I recall correctly, I wounded you."

"Yet here I am."

"Yes, very interesting. Anyway's give me back the Wangji. That Guqin doesn't belong to you." All this time Sizhui hadn't stopped playing as instructed, but felt nervous. The Guqin, called Wangji, trembled in Sizhui's hand. He didn't see how this could be a weapon, but right now he had no choice but to trust Guangyao. He played the notes on and on, concentrating on the music, trying to listen to the scene happening before him.

"Wei Wuxian, you know that it's time to stop."

"Time to stop? Funny, the time to stop should have been when I gave myself and the Stygian Tiger Seal up, the time to stop was when we locked ourselves up in Burial Mounds, the time to stop would have been after the war when the Wen's gave up. But you didn’t, did you?" He plays a harsh note and sends a red and black energy towards them.

The sound of Clarity encircling them dissipated the attack.

"Oh, and I guess you learned some new tricks? Then again, you always were so good at twisting something so good for your benefit weren't you?" Guangyao growled as he prepared to send an attack only to stop when the Yiling Patriarch moves to the side.

Lan Xichen was supposed to be in the Hanshi. Yet here he was floating, held by the dark resentful energy that the Yiling Patriarch exuded.

Lan Xichen dropped to the floor, shoulders slumped.

"And here is the other culprit."

Guangyao stilled. With a quick movement, he motioned for Sizhui to be ready to be on the offensive.

"Seriously dabaizi, how naïve could you be. Oh, wait you weren't, you were just willfully ignorant. You know Sang-Gongzi was kind enough to tell me how many times Dage tried to warn you about Jin Guangyao? He's a liar. You can't trust him outright. He's up to something. And what did you do?" He lifts the other man's chin up.

"You gave him the very thing he needed to kill him. Your action allowed him to pin the blame on the surviving Wen's and kill them. Tell me, why were you allowed to mourn for A-Yuan when your actions had a hand in killing him." He could not see an expression from Zewu-jun, but Sizhui could see the tears.

"Tell me Guangyao, will you be willing to save Zewu-jun or will you let him die just like Sect Leader Nie?" The horde of fierce corpse's ran in and Guangyao’s forced to work double time. On one end he played Liebling to continue the surrounding shield, on the other he helped Sizhui to direct the attacks to the fierce corpses.

If they had more time. More chances to work together, their teamwork would have been possible.

It failed as a demon corpse plunged a blade into Lan Xichen's back. His body dropped.

"No!" Guangyao ran hoping to catch Zewu-jun as Sizhui let out one last attack, pushing back the fierce corpse's back. It broke the connection. Red eyes narrowed in irritation.

Guangyao held Lan Xichen's body as he wept in agony, trying to stop the blood. It seeped his beautiful white robes.

"Zewu-jun! Zewu-jun! Xichen!" Cried out Guangyao, his voice breaking in pain. Sizhui allowed himself to become distracted, not realizing that the Yiling Patriarch was right next to him. He stood up in fear only to feel him ram his hand to his chest.

It was odd as he looked down. There was no blood, in fact it didn't go through his chest, but he noticed a red energy where the hand went through. It wasn't until he felt a squeeze to his heart that he realized the terrible implication.

"I don't know how you broke the connection. A lucky strike, perhaps? It matters not, why don't you make your last amends, eh?" He squeezes his heart and Sizhui could only scream in pain. His mind blacks out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I can't-" "You should take him. He see's you as his father" "..." "A-Die! A-Die!" "A-Yuan! How is my little turnip!" Sizhui can feel himself carried and as he squeals into the air. A-Die is so fun! Alway's burying him in dirt to make him grow like the turnip he is, taking him to the market and let him play with the toys. Although he never bought him any, he never thought to beg him to buy it. He's thrown up in the air, enjoying the excitement. He could hear Wen Qing chiding him and uncle Wen Ning moving around to make sure he didn't fall. No worries. A-Die will always protect him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Yiling Patriarch let's go as Sizhui falls back gasping for air. He didn't believe Guangyao's remark, but he could feel A-Yuan's feelings and how safe he felt. Tears fell from his eyes as he tried to get ahold of the turbulent emotions within.

"A-Yuan? A-Yuan is that you?" Sizhui looks up and see's the man in utter happiness. He looked so young, so joyful. Like he had committed no atrocities in his life. He tries to back away, but frozen from the frenzied look of Wei Wuxian. The man hugs him, his shoulder becoming damp with tears.

"A-Yuan! You're back, you're finally back! Please tell me you're here to stay. I'll protect you. This time I'll protect you from anyone that wants to harm you! No one will hurt you here. I promise! We'll stay in the Gentian House, plant potatoes and radishes, I'll play the Chenquing for you, no nightmares. Maybe if I'm in a pleasant mood, if I can trust him, I can let that man play on his Wangji. Stupid man, naming it after himself, ha, ha, ha!" With each word the Yiling Patriarch hugged him harder and harder, his nails digging into him deeper and deeper to his sides.

He tried to push him back, but he just refused to let go. It was becoming harder to breathe. The sound of the iron chain was the only warning they had before the Patriarch pushed him away.

"Wen Ning... why are you stopping me? I get it now, why you did what you had to do. You knew he was little A-Yuan, but now you're trying to take him away from me? Why?"

"Because A-Yuan died and moved on!" All occupants looked back to see Wen Qing, holding a red and white urn, the same one he saw in Gentian House, standing by the doors.

"He's A-Yuan reincarnated, but he's not our A-Yuan anymore. Wei Wuxian let it go. It's okay. You did your best." Wei Wuxian shakes his head in anger.

"No, no, no! It wasn't my best. I trusted the wrong people! I thought I was doing the right thing. I had the best intentions, and you died, granny, uncle four, everyone died. A-Yuan died!" He makes way to grab A-Yuan only for Wen Ning to get in the way. Hanguang appears and sensing Wei Wuxian's intention runs to grab Sizhui, but the extensive range of the Ghost General's chain cuts him off.

He does a sweeping arc to the two men, who’re forced to step back. Lan Wangji however changes his momentum forward when the chain passed by him, intent to accomplish the new goal.

Sizhui grabs Guqin and plays more notes, remembering how Guangyao guided him. He plucked the strings towards Hanguang-Jun. It wasn't strong, but it caught him off guard. He picks up the instrument and runs towards Guangyao and to pull him away from this place.

They failed, but they can come back and make an alternative plan! Something that'll free his guardians, free the spirits!

He forgot how fast Hanguang-Jun could be when he appeared by his side and used his long legs to trip him. His face smacked against the floor and he’s forced down when a foot pushed into his back. The Guqin landed far from him. Guangyao was not idle, though, as he pulled his blade out.

"Get Zewu-jun out of here!" Sizhui nods as he attempts to pick up the body. He didn't know if Guangyao noticed or just ignored it, but already Sizhui could tell his body had lost its warmth.

Sizhui attempts to move the man's body, but he was tall and he had trouble moving him. He looked to Wen Qing to help him, but she just stood there.

"Wen Qing! Help!" But she shook her head.

A misstep happens as the chaotic resentful energy acts up and crackles in the air. It nearly hits Sizhui, which causes the Ghost General to change tactics and steps in to protect him and Zewu-jun’s body.

The negative energy pours into Wen Ning, who lets out a howling growl. Seeing Sizhui endangered Wen Qing is quick to throw the urn passing through him. He shivered, cold and confused. Why did she pass through him? Wasn't she a fierce corpse? Was she a ghost?

He hears a scream and turns to see Hanguang-jun cut the Ghost General into pieces.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Lan-er-gege! You can't be mad! I've called your name so many times." "Shameless." The innocent sound of laughter is heard in the air of the Library Pavilion. Lan Wangji lips tilt in a smile. He hides it before Wei Wuxian catches sight of it.

***********

The Wen's took so much and now Lan Wangji’s left to wander with Wei Wuxian’s brother to look for him. He could only hope they weren't too late.

*********** "Stop following the demonic path," he laughs, surprising the occupants in the room. "Ah Hanguang-jun, right? You have no right to tell me anything. This is Jiang Sect's business." Lan Wangji leaves confused. What happened to him?

*********** "Lan Er-ge-ge, thank you for playing for me." Lan Wangji smiles and thinks everything would be okay.

************ It wasn't okay. It stopped being okay, and he didn't know what to do. "Wei Wuxian." "Did you forget what we promised? What's right and what's wrong?" That promise, they promised to protect the weak.

************ He'll protect them. He'll uphold his promise like he should have when We Wuxian first left. "Come to Gusu with me." "I can't. What will happen to the Wen's? You know that the other Sects want them dead." "I can talk to brother." "I- I…" "Please Wei Wuxian come to Gusu. I will talk to brother. The Wen's will be safe. A-Yuan will be safe." "Can you promise me that?" "Mn." He will make the promise again if it gives him the chance to protect him and the others when he should have.

*********** "A-xian. I love you." He murmurs as he held him close. They couldn't bring A-Yuan yet, seeing as the Lan was in discussion with the Jin Sect about this. It should be fine though, as his brother promised to see things through. "Ah, Lan-er gege! Warn me when you tell me things like this," giggles his love. He looked better now. His face didn't look as pale, and though he found out his golden core’s gone, it still wasn't impeding his recovery. "Mn." "Lan-er gege, take responsibility and hug me." He does, and so much more. This moment and all other moments would become so precious to him.

*********** "You promised me!" "Wei-" "You promised me they would be okay! AND NOW THEY'RE DEAD!" "Please, listen!" How could it all go wrong?! The Wen's killing Nie Mingjue. He still couldn't understand how such a thing could happen, but all evidence pointed towards them. "I'M DONE LISTENING! I'M DONE! WHY DID I EVER LISTEN TO YOU! I SHOULD HAVE STAYED AT THE BURIAL MOUNDS! At least-" He sobs and he could only watch in pain. "At least-AT LEAST THEY WOULD BE ALIVE. WEN QING... WEN NING... A-... A-YUAN!"

********* They found A-Yuan, hidden by the tree trunk and sneaked him back here. They were too late, and they prepared a private funeral. The elders however had stipulations. "Never! His outbursts are too dangerous. Did you not see the resentful energy around him! It would only agitate the boy's spirit. It's sad that we were too late to save him from the fever, but we cannot allow him to partake in the mourning ceremony! The poor boy's soul would be endangered." Lan Wangji stood outside as he heard Wei Wuxian wail in agony. He wouldn't even answer his calls. He stood there, like he did when he was younger for his mother, but now for his A-Xian.

********* "Did you hear? The Jin Sect is cursed. Many of the main family are dead. The young madam had to move back home to protect the heir. How sad that her husband did not survive. Some say he had a hole in his ribs." He ignored the rumors, when all he cared about was whether his love would open the doors. He sat there on his knees, waiting. Waiting. He never noticed when the Stygian Tiger Seal flew into one of the opened windows.

********** Jin Guangyao arrived, claiming that Wei Wuxian stole the Stygian Tiger Seal. Lan Wangji didn't care.

********** Lan Wangji can only watch in despair as the Gentian House, the home of his late mother and now of his love, surrounded by resentful energy. The others begged him to move, to stop the Yiling Patriarch, but he knew he couldn't. He didn't trust him. Wouldn't open the door. He didn't even want to talk to him anymore. He lost that right when he could not protect the Wens. 'If I gave you my life.' He thought as he stood there ignoring his brother's call. 'If I gave myself to the curse, would you please look at me? Just once more.' Tears slid down his face, his throat closing up. 'Please look at me once more.' Jin Guangyao had to pull Lan Xichen away as he watched his brother give himself up to the Yiling Patriarch's curse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Hanguang-jun stood still, surprised that Wei Wuxian was looking at him.

"YOU DID IT AGAIN! GET OUT OF HERE!" Without a word he leaves, but not before grabbing his Guqin, Wangji. The Yiling Patriarch surveyed the area, ignoring the longing look from Hanguang jun.

The ashes were scattered across the floor as Wen Qing held her brother's corpse cut into pieces. She wept as Wei Wuxian landed on his knees.

"Wen Qing," he sobs. "Qing. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He kowtows before her. Wen Qing grabs his arm and shakes her head.

"It's okay. We've suffered enough, you've suffered enough. Let it go, it's time to rest," she utters as a golden light circles around her. Wei Wuxian could only cry as she disappears.

Both Sizhui and Guangyao leave with Xichen, allowing the Yiling Patriarch to mourn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They arrived to the Hanshi in a somber mood.

They didn't succeed and Zewu-jun, who somehow lived all this time, was finally dead.

He was still curious how such a feat was possible, but Sizhui didn't even had the energy to sate his curiosity. The latest visions left a sour and bitter taste to his mouth. So much good intentions and it all lead to this hell.

Jin Guangyao fell. He waves off Sizhui.

"Go take him to his bed. I'll- I'll sit here and then join you for a bit." Sizhui nods and proceeds past the partition.

Odd that he never really walked passed here. Then again, he was never invited to the private room and with Lan Xichen mourning... it really wouldn't be appropriate.

He steps in and takes in the sight. The place was tidy. The books were in their place. A broken Guqin rested in one corner of the room with blood on its strings. It must have been Guangyao's as he remembered the conversation from earlier. The event must have been bad since it stained the wood.

Sizhui turns and finds a sight that should have terrified him, but after tonight's events he felt numbed. There on the bed was a dried up corpse. He wore the same clothes as Jin Guangyao but where the peony emblem should be, was nothing more than a hole, dried blood staining the fabric.

Jin Guangyao was a ghost too, huh? Odd how he felt real to the touch. Then again, so did Wen Qing. He wondered how that was possible, when she just passed by him, except for the urn holding the ashes. Were those her ashes?

He settles the last master of Gusu Lan to the bed, next to Jin Guangyao. Funny that Zewu-jun looked like he was sleeping peacefully. He wonders what his visions would have been. Did he and Guangyao share tea in this room? What was the relationship between him and his brother to fully entrust the safety of the now deceased Wens? He must have been a man of great integrity to have everyone trust him undisputedly.

He walks out of the room ready to face Guangyao's ghost, only to see the Yiling Patriarch standing over the fallen form of Guangyao.

"Stay away-" He stops short when he sees a sight for sore eyes. On the floor wearing Guangyao's clothes was his missing cousin, Jin Ling.

"This makes little sense."

"It does to me. I knew I killed him, I was just confused about how he could wield Liebling. After all, ghosts have no corporeal forms, so for them to hold on to anything they would need a relative or someone with a weak spiritual constitution to possess. Let me take a crack at it. A Jin? He has the same haughty look that all Jin's carry." Sizhui stood still, ready to grab his cousin to safety.

Wei Wuxian smirks.

"Don't worry, no more blood will be spilt. We have enough tragedies as it is. Question though. You are Lan, but you're not bound here. You could have left anytime you wanted. Especially when you found this one, so why are you still here?" Sizhui clears his throat.

"I can't leave till I free my A-Die and Senior. You have their souls"

"Let me guess. Guangyao? Here's the truth. He lied. Go ho-"

"You have their soul's! Their names are Lan Zhan and Wei Ying. Your laugh sounds almost like his if it didn't sound cynical and Hanguang-jun," he pauses. Unsure to tell him about the visions. "He is just as intimidating." Wei Wuxian laughs.

"Well, it makes sense why I felt out of it. It's only till recently that I feel coherent." He walks around the room taking in the sight and stops.

"You know that empathy can go two ways, right? It's hard for those that start off in the beginning, but once you get the hang of it, it becomes easier to look at the other side." He see's Sizhui's face and laughs.

"You know the visions you had. Tell me why did you run away?" It stuns Sizhui. did he know, no wait what did he know? Lying wouldn't get him anywhere, so he might as well be truthful.

"I'm cursed, or at least that's what other's say. My parents died when I was five and A-Die and Senior Wei took me in. After a while Senior Wei fell ill, with A-Die following along after that."

"Hm... and you thought running away would help?" Sizhui feels ashamed for the first time since he ran. Why did a man who placed a cursed, who almost killed him, wanted to kidnap him, now appeared to be admonishing him as if he did nothing wrong in his life? His mood was all over the place.

"Look kid you had good intentions right? Follow my advice, then. Running won't do you any good, it'll just make things more complicated. I ran instead of talking to others, confiding to others, and look where it took me." He gives him a grin, eyes appearing to water. "How about you go home and let those that love you help?"

"But the curs-"

"I'll take care of it. After all your what 15?"

"I'm 17!" He laughs lightly, painfully reminding him of Senior Wei.

"Take your friend home and leave. By the time you are walking down the mountain, we should break the curse. I just need to collect someone to help me."

"And you could have done this all this time." The devil may care smirk seemed to be a favorite face that Wei Wuxian loved to wear.

"Rule number one of a curse maker. Always know how to break said curse." He walks away, heading down the path that lead to the library. Sizhui wastes no time and wakes up Jin Ling.

"What the hell am I wearing?" As he takes it off, revealing his shirt and pants underneath. Sizhui finds his shoes and jacket in the closet, mindful to keep Jin Ling out of the room with the two dead occupants. No way would he be able to calm Jin Ling.

Leaving no room for argument or questions, he pushes his cousin out of Hanshi and down the path that would take them down the mountain. Along the way, they met Jingyi and Zhizhen.

He answered their questions the best he could without revealing the horrors he faced. It was especially helpful when Jin Ling could not recall what happened at all. He saw Jin Ling look at him suspiciously, but figured he would explain to him at a later date. Now though was the time to leave this damn mountain.

Zhizhen was the first to hear the distant sounds of Dizi and Guqin playing.

"Wow, that sounds beautiful! Hey, are those fireflies?" The group looked around as orbs of light floated the night sky. Sizhui could feel it. They broke the curse.

Thank Jingyi who did not believe they were fireflies and urged them down the mountain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The tow truck came and took them to Moling, where they called their Jin Ling's uncle Jiu'jiu'-Cheng. They could hear him threaten to break his legs if they moved from the spot.

Apparently the boys didn't ask or tell anyone they left to pick him up. He could only imagine how Jiu'jiu'-Cheng would react with him. He was always cautious about how he interacted with him, treating him like he was some porcelain doll. He didn't think that would last long after his latest stunt, though.

The next day, after a vigorous shower and thorough checkup, the injuries he had horrified his friends. He went to the hospital. The place was busy, but not as much as the one coming from his parents' rooms. Nurses were coming in and out, getting things and chit-chatting in excitement.

"What's going on?" he asked gu'gu'-li. Jin Ling's mother Jiang Yanli smiled, the joy reaching her eyes.

"Why don't you see?"

Lan Sizhui walked up to the room. It was a lot to take in.

Last time he was in this room Lan Zhan would just not move. Jiang Cheng, Wei Ying's brother, had to always come in and forcefully move him. Didn't work for long, as he always returned, until he could no longer move. He came to occupy the bed next to his beloved. He stopped coming in after that.

'That goes to show how much he loves Senior Wei.' He thought mournfully.

He didn't know what he was expecting, but the moment he came in heard the rustling of the bed. It's been so long since he saw those grey eyes filled with mischief and glee. Tears erupted from his eyes.

"Well, there's our little rabbit." Commented Wei Ying, laying back comfortably on the pillow, his voice hoarse from disuse. He held back his gasp with a choke, foot pace quickening as he went to hug him. He felt so frail, and if he hugged him any tighter, he was sure to break him.

The sob came out, but he didn't care. He wasn't embarrassed, he just wanted to make sure that this moment was real. That the nightmares from Gusu manor were long gone. Senior Wei, he wasn't cold; he wasn't menacing and most of all broken. He was here alive! Living, breathing, and so warm. It was just so hard to let go. But he did when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked back and seeing those tired golden eyes.

"A-Die." His father turned him around.

"I'm sorry." Why was A-Die sorry? He didn't have to apologize. He was heartbroken. Lan Sizhui knew how much A-Die loves Senior Wei.

"Ah Lan Zhan, take responsibility and hug our little rabbit. Don't you see how worried he must have been." Lan Zhan agrees and hugs him tight. Lan Sizhui's eyes widened, then softened as he returned the hug.

"Don't worry about it. I know how much it hurt."

They stayed at the hospital room the entire day, reminiscing about the past and planning for the future. Jin Ling and the other's would join along. Almost caused them to be expelled, only to be kicked out when Jiu'jiu'-Cheng threatened to break his legs for his stunt. Running away had now permanently put him on the same list as Jin Ling, which said cousin cackled. Traitor.

Needless to say, Senior Wei forced him to stay the night to keep his adorable rabbit and show him all the love in the world.

Sizhui was okay with that as he slept on the couch happily. He was ready to welcome the many more days to come.

#mdzs #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the untamed #MDZS au #the untamed au #mo dao zu shi #mo dao zu shi au #Lan Sizhui #Jin Guangyao #wangxian #angst #horror #thriller #cursed child au #I fucking apologize about the cursed text! Never again!

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