#that took me OUT i almost needed to pause bc god. damn. IM EMOTIONAL

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

so we're just gonna gloss over when Joel helped Ellie up in the hotel, and then when she let go he hesitated and stared down at his hand & opened and closed it huh. we're gonna gloss over the maximum psychic damage that dealt huh

[possiblypeachy]

tea & schemes. (10)

―; summary: An unexpected face pops up while Florence and Jacob are out and about; she should really expect these things to happen at this point.

―; pairing: jacob frye x ofc

―; word count: 5k (ooh, she’s a biggun)

―; warnings: light swearing.

―; A/N: okay so maybe this took me like a month to chip through but life gets hectic sometime im--

nevertheless!! i love them!! and this!! i’m finally getting into the writing habit again so hopefully you can expect to see this more regularly?? don’t quote me on that, though /: 

please tell me what you think bc i’m in constant need of pointers and reassurance!! plus i love talking about this so :))

―; tags: @vamprose (ily <3) (p.s. do ask if you’d like to be tagged in the future!)

―; part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

― ❊ ―

Suddenly, it seemed like the pub wasn’t so important anymore and, what with that Benjamin bloke still glaring daggers at the pair of them a few tables from the bar, the couple decided to shimmy their way out of the establishment and wander the streets for a small while. At the horizon, the sun was setting, painting a strip of pinkish-orange across the early evening sky. There was a chill in the air-- a reminder of autumn settling in-- that made Florence tuck her shawl more closely into her shoulders and encouraged Jacob to walk that little bit closer to her. Well, that required very little encouragement, truly.

There was this strange sense of joy lingering between them; it was the happiness borne from a returned confession mixed with the sudden fear that it had perhaps all been a mistake or some kind of terrible joke. However, the way that his thumb brushed over the back of their hands as they zigzagged their way down the backstreets made Florence feel a little better at least. Jacob found enough comfort in the memory of her smile back in the pub; he was almost certain emotion like that couldn’t be faked-- not even by a world-class actor.

“Jacob,” Florence spoke after a brief period of quiet between them. They’d been speaking idly of things, skirting over the surface of the kiss that had happened earlier and overall quite content with that. However, one might call Florence a cat and curiosity had killed her, “when we kissed…”

She paused to ponder her next words for a few moments but, before she could finish her own sentence, Jacob interjected with that cocky little smile of his and a quirk of his brow. “-- it was magical and you’ll often dream of doing it again?” She gave him an exasperated look but grinned regardless. “Well, dear lady,” Jacob bowed almost crookedly, as if to lower his face down to hers while they were walking, “I am always available.”

She hit his arm and scowled but the light in her eyes told of amusement. “You’re terrible; I’m trying to ask you something serious.” His demeanour softened and he dipped his head to the side slightly, as if to say “go ahead”, straightening his posture. Florence gave his arm a small squeeze in an effort to comfort him-- ensuring that she wasn’t actually bothered by his incessant jesting-- and, as her hand lowered again, he caught it in his own. A little curl came to her lips, gaze caught on the sight of their intertwined hands for a few moments; Thomas Langhorne had never made her heart do that.

Eyes, almost golden in the early evening sunlight, dragged up to his face once again. “What are we?” At this, Jacob’s face scrunched with confusion and Florence pursed her lips momentarily before she rephrased: “Are we doing some kind of… courting now?”

Her eyes glazed slightly at that dreaded word— so did Jacob’s. He opened his mouth briefly, only to close it again and hum, pondering. “Well, labels don’t have to be applied, do they?” Florence frowned, to which Jacob’s heart dropped suddenly, worried that he might’ve disappointed her. “Not those fancy labels, anyhow—“

“It’s just that I might worry about—“

“— because I’d definitely get bullied by Evie if I told her—“

“— exclusivity and the idea of sharing you because I think I—“

“— that I was ‘courting a lady’ but I wouldn’t mind it, if you wanted to call it that, since I—“

“— really like you.”

“— really like you.”

They looked at each other as those same words spilt clumsily from both of their mouths. There was a moment of quiet between them, then Florence made a ridiculous little snorting noise in the back of her throat and they both began to laugh. She admittedly felt like one of those flustered ladies in those hopelessly romantic books she always read but, for the first time in her life, Florence didn’t loathe that thought so much— in fact, it barely bothered her at all. It simply felt… nice to know that Jacob was experiencing the same things. Well, she assumed, anyhow, what with the gentle pinkness to his smiling cheeks.

Their eyes locked for a few moments as their laughter died down, honey melting into hazel, and Florence’s lips caught in a content, little smile— one that made Jacob feel, for a moment, like all was right with the world. Her gaze broke away from his and she shook her head, huffing out something that sounded like a chuckle through her nose. “My brother is going to keel over and die if he finds out.”

“So we won’t tell him.” Jacob replied, a small squeeze coming to Florence’s hand. “Not yet, anyway.” A certain amusement lit up his features, the kind that she’d come to realise always came before one of his remarks. “Besides, I’d only have you to bully if Freddy’s chucked out of the picture.”

“I’m the one who does the bullying here, thank you very much.” Proudness adorned Florence’s face, nose upturned in a way that made Jacob do a strange, back-of-the-throat chortle. “I learnt from the best—”

“-- me--”

“-- my sister, Emily.” Her expression deadpanned beside the tiny quirk to her lips that proclaimed humour. “I will… allow you to be just as proficient at bullying as me.”

“You’ll allow me?” His eyebrows raised in disbelief, open mouth threatening to break into a grin.

She giggled, nodding. “Yes, I’ll allow you--”

“You’ll allow me, eh? Will you?” One of his hands came up to poke at her ribs, breathing out impish laughter at Florence’s sudden squeal. She half-expected to barely feel his prodding fingers through her many layers but the sudden jab to her side was very much there and it definitely made her jolt to one side. Unfortunately for everyone in the immediate vicinity, Florence began that god-awful snorting of hers. Jacob continued with his assault, repeating his words through laughter, until she was wiping tears away from her eyes, cheeks hurting from smiling far too much.

Disaster came when she wiped the cloudiness away from her eyes and her vision met with a familiar crown of golden hair. She spat something that sounded like a horrible mixture of “shit!” and “damn!”, which froze Jacob up as he tried to search for whatever had so suddenly changed Florence’s demeanour. However, she had already decided to relinquish any control he might’ve had on the situation by bundling them both off into a nearby alleyway, the home of a few-- now visibly worried-- urchins.

Jacob’s brows furrowed and his mouth opened, ready to hurriedly ask her what had gotten her in a twist. Florence stopped him before he could speak with a thin finger smushed against his lips. She muttered a “Willard” and, against her front, she felt Jacob tense, though his face showed no real difference.

“Why is that such a problem?” He whispered back, perhaps a little too loudly for Florence’s liking, using his hand to lower her finger from his lips.

A myriad of emotions flickered across her expression-- all of which made Jacob frown-- and, in a moment of catharsis, she sighed. “You know why it’s a problem--”

“If he sees us, so be it. Maybe he’ll finally leave you be.”

“And, what? Proceed to kill my brother?” Florence spoke through gritted teeth, gesturing pointedly back to the street they had just been on-- the street where Willard was. “I’m supposed to be going to that… dinner party to entertain the idea of him and I being a couple; I doubt it’d still be going on if he saw me being friendly with you, Jacob.”

Jacob pinched the bridge of his nose, jaw clenched despite him trying his best not to seem angry with her. “How long will that go on for, hm? Until you’re both married? When will Florence Molyneux-Herbert’s first child be born, I wonder--”

“Don’t be such a prick, Jacob.” There was something in her eyes that screamed a strange sense of annoyance. “I’ll do what I have to; I need to find solid enough evidence of his plots to get him arrested.”

There was a pause in which the pair stared at each other-- a challenge. Then, Jacob sighed and nodded. “Fine.” Florence released a breath she was unaware she’d been holding, placing her hands on her hips and turning herself away from him, as if she was about to peek back into the street. “I’ll come with you to the dinner.”

“What? No, Jacob--”

“Listen to me.” He gave her a look, all too aware of Florence’s tendency to interject when she was particularly… passionate about a subject. She opened her mouth like she was about to disregard him, then her expression softened and she gestured for him to go ahead. “This Willard bloke-- he thinks I work for your family, yes?”

“I assume so.”

Jacob’s little smile counteracted her confused frown. In a way, his mere energy had formed this kind of… conniving, scheming hope in the pit of her stomach. “Exactly. I am Jacob Frye, your butler and bodyguard, rolled into one. I presume it’s cheaper that way.” He shrugged and Florence gave a laugh, stifled by the back of her hand; it was a shame that he couldn’t see her dimple. “I’ll accompany you and Freddy to his estate and, while you look all pretty and have a munch on whatever little entrées he serves you, I’ll have a nosey about his house--”

“He’ll have guards.”

Jacob deadpanned at her, then gestured-- to make a point-- to all the various weapons strewn about his person. With a nod, a hum, and a laugh breathed out through the nose, she conceded. He muttered something like a “thank you” before continuing on with what he would no doubt tout a ‘nefarious plan’. “-- and collect any scraps of ill-intent he might have lying about. Who knows? Perhaps I’ll even stumble across a secret room with drawings of your brother and little knife marks--”

“You really do test me, Jacob Frye.”

He let out a gleeful little laugh, loud enough for Florence to poke him in the ribs-- or was she serving comeuppance for his incessant jesting? Only God would know, one supposed.

With a small peek around the corner, Florence grimaced when she saw that Willard was still window-browsing at that poncey jewellery shop, rubbing his chin in a way reminiscent of some kind of statue of Adonis. God, why was he so pretty? Her eyes raked up and down the bluish ensemble he was wearing today and--

Jacob pushed her slightly, straight out into the open street and Willard’s attention. The blond turned, intrigued by the little ‘woop!’ and scuffle of shoes, and his expression shifted to one of surprised delight. “Darling Florence! What a gift God has given me for such a beauty to stumble back into my day.”

She stopped herself from frowning at this and wanted more than anything to throw a look over her shoulder towards Jacob; it would’ve either been a plea for help or a reassurance that she did, in fact, dislike being complimented like this. Well, complimented like this by him.

He all but swept over to her, the little cane at his side no doubt merely decorative-- a show of absurd wealth and status that made Florence feel inferior. As always. “What brings you here? Doing a bit of light shopping, are we? If you’d like, we could--”

“Ah, Miss Abberline, there you are! These backstreets are just nightmares to follow someone down-- oh.” Jacob, now having shown himself from the alleyway, drew close to her side, though not so close as to draw any attention. Hazel eyes met with Willard’s green and he bowed his head; Florence knew that, in his heart, Jacob was mocking the man but Willard seemed none the wiser. “Willard, is it? How lovely it is that you and my mistress have run into each other today.”

Florence had to stop herself from laughing at his formalities, lips twisting upward despite her best efforts to remain stoic. She could sense that Jacob felt the same way, no doubt having realised that he would certainly be made fun of later on for this.

It was even more difficult to fight back the desire to turn and look at Jacob’s face when Willard corrected him, a light sense of disgust in his voice, with “Mister Molyneux-Herbert.”

What a prick.

“It is, indeed, a lovely coincidence that our paths have crossed again today. In fact, I was just offering to peruse the shops with the lady--” A green gaze caught Florence’s and he smiled somewhat; that terrible, conflicting feeling began in her soul again, “-- so I suppose you might go home, Mister Frye.”

Jacob kissed his teeth, shrugging. “No can do, I’m afraid; Miss Abberline is due for a dress-fitting later today so we’re on a tight schedule. The dinner party you plan to host would be a far better opportunity to catch up.”

Willard, seemingly disregarding just about everything Jacob had said, took a step toward her, to which she shuffled backwards into Jacob’s arm. He briefly placed a hand on her lower back, though truthfully it did very little to calm her, before clasping his hands together behind his back. “I could perhaps help you pick out a necklace or brooch to compliment your dress for the dinner--”

“Flor-- Miss Abberline can’t--”

Florence’s hand brushed against Jacob’s stomach lightly, as if to ask him to back down so that she could handle the situation. Hopefully, the gesture went unnoticed by Willard. “It pains me to say this, but Mister Frye is doing what’s in my best interests. If there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that I get far too emotional when under tight time constraints; I get it from my mother.”

Willard made a little ‘ah’ noise and huffed out a small laugh. He looked to Jacob, gesturing to Florence, and joked: “Such a typical woman, eh?” Behind his back, one of Jacob’s fists clenched but his face told nothing of his annoyance-- rather his mouth shaped a grin, head nodding in agreement. Willard met her gaze again and took a few steps to the side, as if to let them both pass him on the narrow street. “Well, it was lovely seeing you twice today, dear Florence. I look forward to your presence this weekend.” Jacob was already walking past him when he held out a hand for Florence to place hers in. She did so, as she was expected, and he placed his usual kiss to the back of it, to which she began to feel almost guilty; leading a double life wasn’t for Florence, she had concluded.

Now released from the grasp of Willard, she hurried after Jacob, who’s tense shoulders told of frustration. When he heard the tip-tapping of her footsteps on stone beside him, he half-turned, a mocking smile painted across his expression. “Such a typical woman, eh?” The laugh he released was so hideous and fake that it made her begin her own horrendous giggling. Then, he shook his head, a very obvious frown pulling his lips downwards. “What a prick. Who raised him to be like that?”

Florence upturned her nose so she could achieve an appropriately posh accent. “The Earl of Carnarvon.”

“That would explain it then.” He sighed, rolling his eyes somewhat. “Well, at least you know you can catch the eye of-- what?-- nobility?”

“Oh, I doubt he would’ve even gone within a few feet of me if it weren’t for his murderous intent for my brother.”

Jacob did that kind of hum one does when they’re unsure of something-- the kind that changes pitch as easily as a cat flicks its tail. “I’m not sure if it’s just your brother.” Florence frowned and he elaborated. “To him, I am inconsequential-- a tiny little cog in a sequence that barely even affects him. I met him briefly once however long ago--”

“In the library, yes. He did give you a peculiar look.”

“Exactly. At the time, I assumed it was just because I was an inconvenience to him-- which, admittedly, I still am--” Florence huffed out a laugh and Jacob paused to smile, “-- but he still remembered me today. Bit strange, isn’t it?”

“You are overwhelming clad in weapons all the time and you have a tendency to gnaw at one’s mind.”

“Are you sure the latter wasn’t just you?”

Florence rolled her eyes but a grin broke her exasperated expression. “My point still stands, Jacob: you’re a memorable character.”

There was a pause. Then, he sighed. “Fine. I might be overthinking it. But, maybe my concerns are in the right place too. There’s always another side to the coin.”

“That was a lovely metaphor, Jacob. Have you been reading Evie’s books?”

His shoulder pushed hers and she stumbled to the side, laughing and trying to keep her dress from being trodden underneath her own feet. If she had fallen, he would’ve been dragged down with her regardless, what with how tightly her hand had taken to gripping onto his arm.

“You’re a bully, Florence Abberline.”

“Did I not tell you this earlier?”

He huffed out a laugh, shaking his head at her incessancy, but said nothing more; she had certainly proved her point from before, he supposed.

---

They had walked for a small while longer, trying their best to distract from Willard and his decidedly strange aura, before Florence decided it would be best for her to get back home, lest she have a small legion of police on the lookout for her. The way in which she’d mentioned this seemed specific but she denied Jacob any further details. Regardless, the thought of Florence having to evade police officers to stay out into the evening made him chuckle; she was a nightmare of a woman but he considered it one of her many charms.

They came to the red door of her home and, seeing that the curtains had been pulled closed, she gave him a chaste parting kiss, holding his face in her hands like she’d been doing it for her whole life. As usual, that little flush came to both of them: Florence’s ears tinged red and a pinkish hue gracing his cheeks. She could only hope that her brother wasn’t peeking between a gap in the curtains; she’d have a lot of explaining to do, if so.

“I’ll visit you again soon?” His voice was quiet-- as though he wanted to maintain a sense of intimacy despite the passersby-- and a hand lingered over her waist, testing to see if that was too much for her.

Florence didn’t object, instead reciprocating with a palm pressed to his chest. His hold on her became more definite and the feeling that rose in her chest made her smile. “The dinner is this Saturday--”

“I meant beforehand, Flor. Need to make sure that you’re not bending yourself over backwards to appease Willard, son of the Earl of Carnarvon.”

The dimple bore into Florence’s cheek-- a beautiful sight-- and she shook her head in that way of hers. “I won’t be; I already know what dress I’ll wear and all I need to do is consult Freddy about it.” Her hand moved from his chest to his bicep, squeezing it in reassurance. “I’ll be fine, Jacob. Don’t get all soppy with me.” She poked him now, little fingernail jabbing into skin, and he groaned, “You’ll remind me of Willard.”

“Don’t say that--”

“I should get inside. Goodbye, Jacob.” There was that cheeky smirk upon her lips as she trailed away, fingers dancing down the length of his arm and she took steps backwards.

However, his hand caught hers just before it left him and he pulled her back in for a delightful little peck. When they parted, it was almost as though her expression had moved from her face to his. “Just look after yourself, love.”

“I’ll try.” With that, she finally left him, sliding herself through the door, but not without looking back over her shoulder and shooting him a smile. As always, Jacob was stuck simply staring at the closed door for a while but that terrible missing feeling wasn’t there like it usually was. God, Evie was going to bully him when she found out.

The smell of chicken immediately overwhelmed Florence as she hung her shawl up. Cutlery clattered a room over and there was a muffled shout of “Hello, dear!” from Lissie. The older woman’s head poked around the corner, a smile on her face despite the napkins in her mouth, and said something that sounded like “Tea’s almost ready” but Florence couldn’t be sure. Nevertheless, she gave a little nod, mind already refocusing on the task of telling Freddy about their dinner plans for the weekend.

“Freddy?” She shouted in that way of hers. From the dining room, there was shuffling and stifled laughter from Lissie. “Fredd--”

“Florrie! Can you not bellow everything you say like a town crier?” He emerged from the dining room, hands tucked into the little pockets sewn into his waistcoat. He looked tired-- and eventful day at work, she assumed-- but he, despite his chiding, greeted her with a lopsided smile. “What is it?” With a hand, he beckoned her toward the table, shifting past Lissie, who was diligently trying to plate up their food.

Florence made her way to a seat-- across from her brother as always-- and clasped her hands together before her, careful not to keep her elbows on the table in an effort to appease Lissie. “Willard--”

“Oh, yes, you were due to meet him today, weren’t you?”

“Yes, I was--”

“Though I’ve also heard that, by the grace of God, you bumped into him another time-- by the jewellers.” Freddy leant back in his chair, thick eyebrows raised to the heavens. Florence pursed her lips. “I also heard that you were there with a man about my height, bit of stubble, flat cap, that had the same flighty disposition as a certain Jacob Frye--”

“Perhaps I was but that isn’t what I need to tell you.” Florence placed a hand on the table between them-- as if she was trying to calm a slowly angering beast. Much to her surprise, Freddy gave a little nod that asked her to continue, though the look in his eyes said that that conversation wasn’t over yet. “He has apparently heard rumours of his own ill-intentions toward you and wants to prove he doesn’t share the same will as his brother--”

“-- the doctor that was particularly nasty to his patients?”

Florence did a disgusted little nod, a sudden discomfort rocketing across her body knowing that such a monster’s brother could have similar intentions for her own family. “-- so he’s graciously invited us to dinner this coming Saturday.” She, mirroring her brother, slouched back in her chair, quite obviously at unease with the whole prospect.

Freddy hummed, nodding a thanks to Lissie as she placed a gravy boat in front of him, a little frown tugging at his lips. “Maybe we misunderstood him?”

With such certainty in her movements that Freddy fully believed her for a second, Florence shook her head. “He’s likely covering up; he lost that little note of his and now he has act particularly saintly lest I ruin all his plans.” She twirled her fork between her fingers then poked a breast of chicken. “Besides, Jacob thinks that he’s up to more than no good and, quite frankly, I trust his intuition.”

At the mention of the Frye, Freddy sighed. Florence went to speak before he could but he held up a hand to stop her. “Attending the dinner will be fine, if only to help us ease any worries we have. I have yet to meet the bloody bloke so maybe I’ll be able to draw some of my own conclusions about him.” A moment of quiet passed over them both, a thick cloud of questions travelling with it. Then, Freddy gave her a certain look-- the kind that desired a level of sincerity. “What were you doing with Jacob today?”

Florence pushed a roast potato about on the plate, slathering it in gravy, then took a careful bite out of it. It was almost like she was trying to avoid the question. Sometimes, Florence Abberline was a foolish woman.

“We ran into each other and--”

“Do not--” He paused, sucking a breath through his teeth, “-- lie to me, Florrie. I won’t be angry.” Florence looked unconvinced-- worried. Freddy’s expression softened; she was his little sister and he should be kinder. “I promise.”

She rolled her lips inwards and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear in that nervous way of hers. “Fine. The truth is that I might, perhaps, in theory--”

“Florence.”

“I like him. A little bit.” They both stared at each other for a few moments and she groaned. “Alright, a lot more than I expected.”

Much to her surprise, Freddy simply smiled. It was one of those strange, unreadable smiles but a smile, nonetheless. “That’s… alright. He’s been doing good work for me recently and, despite his incessant joking and insistence on calling me anything but my name, I trust him to not go out of his way to manipulate you. He’s too dopey, the poor lad.”

Florence had the kind of expression one would adopt if they were told they were the Queen’s long-lost sister. “What? Why are you-- hold on--”

Lissie moseyed on over to take the emptied gravy boat, a scheming little grin plastered across her dastardly face. “I told you that your brother would be okay, didn’t I?”

Puzzle pieces visibly clicked together in Florence’s mind and she uttered a furious “You”, finger pointing accusingly toward the housemaid. “You told him, didn’t you? Oh, you are such a--”

“-- treasure to society? Helpful friend?” Lissie pulled the towel from her apron and slapped Florence with it. “I am the mastermind behind this whole ordeal and, without me--”

“-- without her, I would likely not be as accepting of your choice in men, dear sister.” Freddy finished, hoping to quell any potential bickering between the two women. “She mentioned how torn up you were about telling me-- and him for that matter-- and it made me realise that I’m perhaps too harsh on you; your carelessness is one of your many charms, I suppose.”

“I also asked him if he’d ever govern Emily the way he does you, to which he begrudgingly replied ‘No’.” Lissie raised a brow at Freddy and, despite this being a jab at him, he huffed out a small laugh, shaking his head.

“Jacob Frye is not the worst choice in husband, I suppose. I think mum would prefer that you marry for love too; it’s not like the Abberlines have any immediate desire to become nobility.” Freddy dipped his head to the side in the way that one does when they decide to allow something, eyes lost in some distant vision of the chaos that an Abberline-Frye wedding would involve.

Florence huffed out something that sounded like a laugh. “I still have no immediate intentions to marry the bloke; calm down.” She cut into a slice of carrot with her fork, refusing to look her brother in the eyes while discussing marriage. “Jacob is just a… nice fellow that I wouldn’t mind spending more time with.” For a moment, it seemed like Lissie was about to say something horribly filthy so Florence quickly interjected to keep the conversation focused, “So… you’re okay with Jacob and I?”

“Yes, so long as he doesn’t become too forward and at least tries to follow the proper rules of courting--”

“Because we kissed today and--”

“Damn it, Florrie! Can you do anything normally?” Despite his words and the hands that rubbed across his face, she could tell that he was fighting back a smile.

Lissie erupted into satisfied giggling, clapping her hands together like she’d just watched a world-class play at the theatre. “That’s my girl! How was it? Was it as romantic as we’d discussed?”

“Well, there wasn’t any rain or flowers involved but--”

“Right, I’m off to bed.” Freddy rose from his seat, rubbing the corners of his mouth with a napkin. Florence smiled in that impish way of hers, dimple boring into her cheek when Freddy gestured between the two women. “I’m okay with the idea of you and Jacob being together but, I beg of you, I need no details; you should reserve those for letters to our sister.”

Florence and Lissie broke out into laughter, watching Freddy walk dejectedly up the stairs. Lissie collected up her skirts and plonked herself down beside Florence, grabbing the opened wine bottle from across the table and pouring some for herself and Florence. “Well, you have to tell me all about it now. I might die if not.”

A slap came to the maid’s arm. “Don’t be so melodramatic.” Then, there was a pause during which Lissie stared at Florence, swirling the wine in her glass. Florence looked just about ready to burst, a sudden grin splitting her face. “God, it was lovely-- he was lovely. Right, we were at the pub and we’d gotten our drinks when--”

Lissie listened to Florence’s babbling, a warmth in her chest that proclaimed pride, smiling at this tale of budding love. It was a wonder how, only a month or so ago, this same girl loathed the idea of romance; he had cracked her well and fully, much to both of their joy, it seemed. A gentle flush grew on Florence’s face, that little dimple of hers never disappearing, as she explained the events of the day.

Call it a psychic inclination or just a gut feeling but Lissie knew that he would be good for her. It was only a matter of time before she’d be making wedding preparations. Oh, the thought alone made her giddy.

[sixcastappreciation]

sixcago gave me my gay rights

alternative title: review of the evening sixcago show on july third

this is like almost 4k and its mostly just rambling but i need to express how much i love sixcago

like at least half of this is just me being gay so i bolded some of the things that i found really interesting and isnt just me like, freaking out

so to start off: holy shit. the energy of the entire show was amazing, it was really funny and fun and the acting/dancing/singing was on point like i cant think of a single complaint on the part of any of them.

so to get into the actual show

ex wives

when the curtain came up and the smoke started pouring out i actually felt my soul leave my body it was such a good moment

less than thirty seconds in brittney mack made eye contact with me and i swear to god my heart stopped and i honestly had trouble focusing on the rest of the song

i am not exaggerating that is the whole truth and nothing but the truth

shes............. literally so good im still shaking as i write this like three hours later

the third repetition of the rhyme where they all sound kinda pissed off? they nailed that

adrianna was so cute when she said “you wont try that again”

andrea holy shit. thats really a wrap on that

abby got that like, kinda head in the clouds thing that i feel like is janes Brand during this part

when he saw my portrait he was like JaaAAaaa

i love brittney mack

courtney knew what she was doing with that prick line. get it girl

anna has the most angelic voice i swear to god

the six of them work really well together on stage???? like i know its all choreo and stuff but you could Feel the energy that they had together it was good

oh man the choreo for the end. im so gay

intro thingy:

adrianna with that riff!!!!! we stan

annas face after “herstory” was iconic. she knew what she had done wrong

you couldnt hear the intro for maggie bc people were cheering so loud

the way adrianna says maria made me gay

abby also knows what she had to say. she knows how cursed janes sense of humor is and she was really playing it up

protestent............ protestant

“we’ll tell you what you want what you really really want” this made me laugh so hard i dont rly remember the next like thirty seconds because i was dying

“the biggest.... the firmest......... the fullest..............” im. i cant

no way

“maria” AGAIN adrianna please. please i cant handle it

“OH muy bien aHHah” not to be Lesbian On Main but fuck this was so cute

her emotion during the monologue was SO funny

it was peak, it was so good

she really gets it. i dont totally know what it is but this aragon monologue gets it

when she said “really trying” she did like, a motion. i cant go into more detail but Fuck

so after “move me into a convent” everyone like, gathered around aragon and adrianna did a

well idk what youd call it but a like

her entire torso swung around in a huge circle right before “i dont think i’d look that good in a wimple”

and idk what it was but that part just made me Lose It

adrianna had this way of making it all a little funnier?

like catherine is usually pretty Serious, i think but it felt like adrianna knew she was playing a character who was Like That, if you will, and was kinda leaning into breaking the fourth wall a little

i can probably elaborate if that doesnt make sense

you say its a pity cos quoting leviticus ill end up kiddiless all my life

she said that with such conviction goddamn

oh, he doesnt remember

this was so good

the “sh-”s were really funny

the fucking. i dont know what it is but the *ting*

holy shit

i cant put into words

how much i loved that part

the pause after “i’ll go” was............ expansive

i just checked it was 10 whole seconds

that doesnt sound long but it felt like forever

she went high on “end of my life” and thank u for mine adrianna hicks

the amount of no’s was impressive and im heart eyes for it

adrianna just had really good stage presence

like i caught myself looking at her during the dance breaks of all the songs when i wasnt looking at brittney

it was just so fun to watch her go!

dluh

during the intro of like “yeah, you know, the really important one” andrea was doing some Dumb Shit in the background

like i dont know exactly what it was but she was just like

idk like noodling around in the back

and i caught her eye and she like, smiled a little

the gasps the rest of them did were....... cute

then andrea busted out a full on fucking witches cackle

then she stuck her tongue out and looked like she was taking a selfie and it was so cute

like, her tongue was OUT

“not my thing” had the BIGGEST uwu energy of anything ive ever heard

i thought people were kidding when they said andrea boleyn had uwu energy

they were not

pret a manger barely came across as a real line it was more like, an experience

the sorry not sorry choreo. its so funny and cute and simultaneously cursed

the way andrea delivered her lines here was just

it was like, cutesy and fun but also kind of cursed

uwu

when she said “are you blind” andrea like, gestured to herself, in a like “look how hot i am” kinda way

which might be the standard? either way it made me laugh a lot

don’t be bitter/cos im fitter was the only line in the entire production said with a british accent and it fucking slayed me on sight one hit ko

i actually like that they changed “mate, what was i meant to do” to “wait, what was i meant to do” because

it implies that anne had no other train of thought than the one she was on and thats very funny to me

i think it fits w andreas portrayal too

everyone was like, fake crying when anne fake walked down the aisle and it was really funny imo

and as soon as she got to the end anne like, turned, yk?

bro just shut up

the entire audience gasped after that

andrea had actual like, panic on her face

then she led into “i guess he just really liked my head”

and there was a beat after that, where everyone laughed

it was long enough that everyone got the joke

then she mimed the blow job

her riff on “hell”? iconic

“wait, didnt you actually die” no jane she was beheaded but she was fine

abby seymour said dumbass rights she has the Dumbest Bitch energy god

“catherine of aragon had tragically died” catch adrianna looking like, yeah it was so sad for me, how terrible, right?

then boleyn goes off

the. fury, passion, anger, zest, contained in andreas “MASSIVE-”

“over my dead body” andrea gave her this look like, youre damn right it will be

heart of stone

oof

okay so the monologue

oof

“i was lucky. okay, i was really lucky” o o f

“edwina” is still cursed tho

i dont know what it was about this. i dont know if it was abby, or the dialogue, or just it being live but

this made it clear that jane had been Through It

like, this monologue came across (to me at least) as unquestionably a “woman who was abused trying to justify it to herself” kind of situation

“and that’s not because i was scared,” she said, wearing an absolutely terrified expression

this is where she started tearing up i think

okay i gotta take a moment here because

abby was fully crying before the song even started

like somewhere about halfway through her monologue she started tearing up

i was looking for it specifically

i wrote this before the last part so see above

so by the first fucking like of hos you could hear her voice breaking

holy shit ms meuller what the fuck

im not kidding who gave her the right

at the stagedoor she said that after this she was like, “well thats it for my makeup” when someone complimented her song

she is crying. the first chorus and she is actively crying. in the breaks between her lyrics you can hear her crying

abby went high on a couple of notes in here

she riffed on “truthfully” and it was, wow

she didnt go for the whistle tones which was, honestly? the most relatable thing in this entire show

but a couple of the other notes she went high on and they were so killer

there was a second or two of pause after the end where everyone just, absorbed things before the applause

i have some questions for abby about this actually because i dont know if its just because the monologue was different than im used to but

i just want to know if abby meant to have everything come off like That but god

the mental gymnastics jane is doing here are so intense

this performance genuinely changed how i listen to hos forever

i dont think i can ever peacefully listen to this song again

this song gave me so many layered emotions thank u abby mueller

haus of holbein

hans................................. *holbein*

the chaos

i honestly barely remember most of it it was

i had no idea who to be looking at

but i remember it being beautiful

i dont have the words to express how

fucking funny it was

the accents were hilarious

like they werent great german accents, but that made it far better

they were leaning into the ridiculousness of it all

the way abby said “but we cannot guarantee that you’ll still walk at forty” had me on the ground

ive spent the last 24 hrs trying to figure out exactly why it was so funny and i think i got it

she dropped the german accent

and she straight up sounded like she was reading off the side effects of a pharmaceutical ad on tv

the freeze frame? legendary

anna and courtney (im pretty sure?) managed to look so genuinely offended that henry swiped left on them

your highness your highness your highness

god adrianna please

actually every h sound that came out of their mouths

but adrianna Got It

get down

oh god i gotta talk about “didnt live up to his expectations”

brittney like, half took off her jacket and gestured to her body and like, body rolled a bit and honestly? i was fucking dead

the sarcasm really jumped out here. brittney went off in the best way possible

she was fully fake sobbing right before “tragic”

fucking legend

brING me some pheasant!

the woof line is always a good moment but their facial expressions really made it work here

this song has the most outwardly complex choreo (ofc i cant speak to its actual difficulty) and every single one of them crushed it

brittney made eye contact w me again on “looking cute” and im deceased

oh god after “take my fur” she whispered “thank you. honestly” and gestured to herself again and like, i was dying

iirc brittney was like, skipping across the stage or something on “i look more rad” and snapped into position for “lutheranism”

we gotta take a moment to appreciate the operatic talent of that one “get down you dirty rascal” instead of the slo mo

like, ofc the slo mo is a good moment but

brittney went full opera and it was,

wow

shes got a voice on her holy shit

so much talent in such a tiny body

aCHYEAH

she picked the person sitting next to me to dance w her and

they did their cute little dance thing and then brittney gestured like, go sit down, and the person did, then stood back up and started dancing again

not like, in a bad way i dont think

it was super fuckin funny and after the song brittney was like “oh that was cute you think youre funny”

but i heard them talking at the stagedoor and like, brittney was chill it wasnt like a violation of anything

im not explaining it very well but it was really funny in person

everything about her on stage was just, so enrapturing

i dont have too many specific notes about this song because it would probably turn into just, me being gay, which is enough of this already

anyway! get down was good brittney mack is a stellar cleves

her fake crying is next level tho

the confrontation

boleyn, unprompted: i lost my head!

the beheaded cousins high fived after “nice neck” and like, stuck out their necks a bit it was so funny

seymours “i died”

we all know abby is gonna kill her line delivery

but GOD

and then after, she like, realized what she had said and struck a pose like, shit please still think im regal

the line itself was actually pretty, uhhhh, sad

theres something about boleyn roasting khoward in andreas voice

courtney with that “and your songs” had perfect timing

also “when will justice be SERVED” had such good punch to it

after she did that she like

rubbed her hand on janes face

and abby looked SO offended

theres something so, sincere about courtneys delivery of her roasts that i hadnt been getting and its SO much funnier to me

i forget exactly where but at some point boleyn aragon and howard were arguing

and in the background it really looked like seymour and cleves were having a normal conversation and i lost it like. they were just chattin

there were a couple moments of like, cleves and seymour interacting and it was interesting

aywd

courtney! mack! took! no! prisoners!

jesus christ

okay so i dont know if other howards do this or if it was just because i was seeing it live and up close and that made the difference but

for me the most compelling part of this howard was the fear

like yes there was the sadness/anger/etc like there was good emotion but

from the “he says we have a connection” re: henry, and then on, everything about courtneys body language just screamed that she was afraid

idk i might expand on this in a separate post because its a darker topic but yeah. holy shit that was emotional

not a single person clapped after the last line. they all waited until after “yeah, and then i was beheaded” before clapping

like the theater was dead silent. DEAD silent

it was like, so haunting because it was just courtney on stage at that point, with just the white spotlight on her, it was a Moment

im not sure i have the heart right now to get too deep into this

if it would be particularly interesting to anyone feel free to ask, im happy to get more into it but idk its just Emotional

actually this is already so long ima go for it

so on each “we have a connection” it was uhhhh parr and aragon (i think) who each put a hand on like, her clavicle

and for the first two verses she grabbed one of the hands and was like, flirty? ig

but on the one about henry seymour also put a hand around her waist and she like

she freaked out

and listening back to the audio i can

unpopular opinion perhaps but the actual emotion of her on stage didnt come thru in the audio

because it was so physical

like you could see how scared she was

which made it more relateable to me honestly

like she looked so so scared

it was heartbreaking

the confrontation part ii

oh BOOH OO MISTERESSES

“okay catherine, babes” is CUTE fight me

anna looked like, progressively more concerned as that beat went on, and then she just kinda like, deflated? it was really funny tbh

idk her parr feels Different than the parr im used to

during “oh im catherine parr i draw the line in arbitrary places” courtney was playing with her hair it was hashtag cute

BACKING VOCALS RIP CATHY PARR

idnyl

a cute little b flat major 7

yeah anna parr seems

hmm

she seems like she’s just, over henry

like from the start she just has no time for him

idk im Conceptualizing

anna uzele is

her voice is next level

she put survived in the “got married to the king became the one who survived” in air quotes which i think is an interesting note

anna got really physically into the “remember that...” bit of it and everyone in the back was also having a good time with it it was Good

andrea. she stuck her pointer finger between two of her other fingers on her other hand for the “my sixth finger” line and it was SO funny

khoward keeping aragon in line was

not the hot take i was expecting but nevertheless the one we deserved

both for “dissolution of the monasteries” and “well actually”

idk it was a cute character moment

one of *unsure, disgusted, vaguely annoyed* siiiIIIiix

abby was right in front of me and she looked SO uncomf

yeah, i read

iconique

andrea like, threw her head back for this line

the pause after “theres not much we can do about it now” is

painfully long and so so so funny

i was only really looking at brittney but she was like, arms down head up no body language it was SO funny

also her “yeah?” ended my life

she raised the mic up to her mouth while not moving an inch of the rest of her body

the part where they get all meta. has me dead

it was about halfway through this second part that i realized cleves had her coat back. i dont know when that happened. if anyone else knows when exactly anna of cleves gets her coat back after it gets taken off in get down please tell me. i genuinely want to know

this actually distracted me

i got vibes that they genuinely hated henry during this part

first off, mood

secondly, good

annas riffing. god.

she is so talented

dsfjksdf they all straight up left

six

the opening moment is really sweet and kinda funny

abby again killing it with janes cursed lines

courtney howard is actually so cute

when shes not being heartbreakingly sad that is

like her “bye!” was so cute

theyre all so supportive of each other its very cute

megasix

adrianna and abby both looked into my camera and like, i died

at the end anna and brittney were doing some dumb shit as they walked off stage and it was SO cute

after the show

i went to the stagedoor and it was a really fun experience! ive never done that before

it seemed like everyone was being pretty respectful and stuff, thank u six fans for being sane

i got four signatures on my program dklfjsldfjds

abby was such a sweetheart, we actually talked a tiny bit

i told her i loved her line delivery (because uhhhhhh i do) and she said that she tries to get in that comedic timing when she has Those Lines and like yeah

she was seriously the nicest

the ladies in waiting came out as well and everyone cheered for them and lets be real they DESERVE it

lemme sidebar here actually and talk about the ladies in waiting because

they killed it

bessie on the bass was living her best life at literally all times

brittney was also super sweet! i told her she had good energy (because uhhhhhh she does) and she was very nice about it!!!

i didnt really talk to anna or andrea but i got their signatures!

also speaking of my program im still losing my mind over “remembered for: headlessness” and “remembered for: staying alive”

thank u sixcago program

in conclusion! this was such a great+special experience!!! all of the actors were incredible, it was so wonderful

im also not claiming any of this stuff was unique to this performance or to sixcago in general this was just the stuff i noticed as i was watching it. if you clown on this post ill end u

[drewbarymore]

the ugly emotion

Summary: You feel something that starts with a j and ends with ealousy but don’t want to admit it.

Word Count: 3.2k+

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warning(s): j-ealousy

a/n: ngl the title’s from b99 lol and honestly i feel like this is uhh off bc ive been off for the past week(s) but hey hello. also this was typed up on my laptop so idk how fucked up it’ll look on mobile but i honestly have no expectations at this point. also i saw something about the keep reading feature not working on mobile so im sorry in advance for the people who would scroll through this whole ass thing i swear i tried

It's unnecessary.

Whatever this is you're feeling right now, you know it only ever brings miscommunication and unwarranted fights in relationships, or at least that's the case from what you've seen.

You hate yourself for feeling this way, even more so as you think of Bucky—how good of a partner he is and how he makes you feel. You almost want to walk over to him and tell him you're sorry, if only the feeling isn't so unapologetic itself, rooting you to the ground and twisting your insides.

You look away, sighing and knowing that it's only a matter of seconds before you're looking in their direction again, torturing yourself even further.

This is dumb, this is stupid, this is unnecessary, it's childish, it's very unhealthy.

"Hey, babydoll." And then he's wrapping his arms around you and kissing your temple, and suddenly the ugly feeling dissipates, and your thoughts quiet down, even the ones you're using to counter the negative ones. It always feels like this in his arms—serene, calm, like everything wrong in your world's suddenly gone.

"Hey," you turn your head to look at him, smiling as you raise your hands and cradle his face with it.

"How you doin'?" he asks, hand automatically coming up to your waist, exactly where the huge bruise is forming from a pretty bad hit you took on your last mission.

"Good," you lie, "what about—"

Before you can finish your sentence, a knock on the clear glass wall separating the room you're in and the office for the other SHIELD agents outside sounds around the room, drawing your attention to the already open door.

"Sorry," she says apologetically, her eyes on you before turning to Bucky. "Buck, it's time to go."

Buck. You almost scoff at the nickname, but you swallow it down, hands falling from his face to your sides. You hate the way it rolls off her tongue, all smooth and beautiful sounding with a voice that could pretty much make the most ridiculous things sound alluring. You don't dare think of what Bucky thinks of it, how he must really like how it sounds. How it may not be just a stupid nickname of an already-nickname anymore, like how it probably does when you say it.

"It's alright," He smiles at her, and your heart plummets to your feet.

You want to yell out no, that it's not okay. She interrupted the first time you've talked in almost a week with all of these missions and planning and—

You plaster a smile on your face just as he turns to you, nodding.

This is dumb, this is stupid, this is unnecessary, it's childish, it's very unhealthy.

She's smart, beautiful, and a damn good agent. You have no reason to be rude to her. It's not her fault they were partnered up because you couldn't go. Because you took a lot of bad hits from last week's mission and you needed to rest. Because you're not really half as good as her, and if you were, you wouldn't have been injured. Because you—

"'Kay, baby, I need you to be our eye, okay? Need you to be lookin' 'round the area through the cameras while we follow our guy around.”

You hate how he's talking to you, absolutely fuming from it. He doesn't talk to her that way. Or anyone for that matter. He doesn't talk to anyone like they're five-year-olds who needed extremely dumbed down instructions, like he can't use big tactical words because you won't understand.

You want to push him off you, push him to her and tell them to get the fuck on with it while you wait in the surveillance room like a dumb piece of—

You nod, smiling at him tersely, and then turning your gaze to look at her to do the same.

"We'll be quick. This is a stakeout more than anything. Annissa's good at this, right?" He looks over at her and smiles again.

And suddenly you don't know what you hate more, the way he talks to you or the way he talks to her.

You step away from him, looking down as you gather your things. "Okay. I'll be there. You two should get going." you say, trying to even out your voice as much as possible.

You smile at the both of them one more time before walking out of the room, half of it because you don't want to be in the same vicinity as the two of them anymore, and half of it because you don't want Bucky catching on. You can't risk him knowing what you feel. It's stupid and childish and ugly. This is a mission, not a goddamn situation planned out solely to cause you to be...jealous. God, the thought of the word alone makes you want to gag. The world doesn't revolve around you or your relationship.

It's not a personal attack against your insecurities, it's a mission. Or at least that's what you try to remind yourself as you watch them get in a cafe. The very same one you and Bucky frequent in your days off.

"Woah, it's pretty...dark in here," Wanda says as she enters the room, making you turn around in your chair and look at her.

You blink at her. "The lights are on."

"I'm not talking lights, sweetie." She smiles tauntingly, gesturing to you. "It's your...aura."

"First of all, don't sweetie me. Second, no it's not." You roll your eyes, turning back to the screens in front of you.

"Ah," she draws out, taking a seat next to you. You side-eye her, seeing her eyes glued to the screen. "I see."

You cross your arms, setting your blank gaze onto the screen and blatantly ignoring her comment.

"Actually you know what, I take it back," she turns her whole body to you, squinting her eyes, "your aura isn't dark. It's more...green."

"You need to stop pausing right before saying another word." you quip.

"And you need to stop steering the conversation away from you." she counters.

"Alright," you sigh, "it's your day off, right? Go get out and get some sun or something."

Her smile widens. "Don't want to. Planned on having a day in with you, so here I am."

"Where's Nat?"

"Got sent out somewhere, too." She shrugs.

You nod, watching as they get out of the cafe and out of the cameras' scope. You sit up in alarm. Bucky said they would stay where the cameras could see them.

You hear a giggle from beside you, and you realize your mistake. You clear your throat, leaning back down on your chair, eyes still darting around the screen. You suppress the sigh of relief that threatens to come out when you see them on another street. They probably just followed their guy.

"It's okay, Y/N," Wanda says, "you can breathe."

"Stop it." you warn her.

She laughs. "Look, it's completely okay to be jealous—"

"I'm not jealous. It's immature and dumb and there's no need for it. This is a mission, this is not about me or us. He's just doing his job, it's not his fault that he got partnered up with someone else because I was stupid the last time and needed to recover—"

"Okay, hey. Hey," Wanda grabs your arm, stopping you from you rant. "It's okay. I understand."

You sigh, closing your eyes. "It's just...he always does everything he can to make sure I don't feel insecure about our relationship, and I feel like I'm failing to do my part when I get—when I get this ugly feeling. I'm trying, but I don't think I'm...I don't know, mature enough, I guess, for this."

She grows quiet for a minute, absorbing what you just said.

"I know you're trying, and I'm sure he does, too. But sometimes, emotions just are. Sometimes they're so strong, you can't really do much about it. You try to control them, it blows back up in your face." she says, running her hand up and down your arm.

You open your eyes again, looking at the monitor, hoping that now that you've voiced out your feelings, its burden has gotten a little lighter. 

It takes you a moment to find which box on the screen they are, but when you do, you see them leaning towards each other and then laughing about something. The twisting in your gut returns, and you don't know whether to laugh or cry in absolute annoyance or curl up in despair.

It's childish and stupid and irrational, but it's there and you can't seem to get rid of it unless you exploded.

"You know what, I'll take over from here," Wanda offers, holding your arm back, as if what she's seeing convinced her that you would go and tear down the monitors in front of you. You don't really know what you look like right now, but knowing what you're feeling, hell, it's very probable that that's what you look like.

Still, you try to fight it. "That's ridiculous, it's your day off—"

"It's not like I'm gonna do much other than just sit here and look around this screen," she interrupts.

"What are you gonna tell him when he comes back and sees you instead of me?" you ask, actually considering her offer the longer you look at the small box in the screen with them in it.

"I'll tell him you're not feeling good," she says.

"Nothing about this?" You turn to her, looking her straight in the eyes.

"What's between us is only between us." She raises a hand in promise, looking straight back at you.

You sigh, standing up and gathering your things once again. She stands up herself, pulling you into an unexpected hug. You're stiff in surprise for a split second before you're melting into it, wrapping your arms around her.

"Talk about it with him, okay?" she says, pulling back.

You heave out a sigh once again. "I don't know. He might think it's dumb. Hell, it is dumb. I'll get over it," you mumble.

She looks at you pointedly. "This is Bucky we're talking about, nothing you say will ever be stupid to him."

You roll your eyes fondly. "I guess."

"Now, go get some rest." She taps your shoulder.

"Thank you so much for this." You smile at her, turning to walk away.

You plop down onto your bed, as soon as you get into your room, groaning when your bruises come in contact with the mattress. You will yourself to get up and change into more comfortable clothes. After the stress of today, you decide you're going to take a nap. Naps never fail to make you feel better. This shouldn't be an exception.

Except that it is.

The longer you lay down under the covers, staring at the ceiling, the more you think about what Bucky's up to right this second. You push the thought of texting him to the farthest corner of your mind. You can't risk distracting him and possibly jeopardizing their mission just because you can't make your own mind shut up.

You turn on your side, extending your arm to where he usually lays, running your fingers through the sheets like an idiot. You feel around for your phone, opening it and typing up, 'I miss you,' before turning it off in defeat.

"That's stupid and clingy." you say out loud, not really caring that you're basically talking to yourself.

"Just go do the laundry and get your shit together." you tell yourself, standing up towards the hamper to sort the clothes out.

You carry basket after basket of it to the laundry room, wincing every time they hit your bruises, but welcoming the distraction it brings anyway. You sit down on the floor as soon as you load the first batch in, leaning your head against the wall and finally, finally feeling exhaustion pull at you.

You jump when you hear the beeping of the washer, looking around in a disoriented haze. You curse when you look outside only to see the setting sun. How long have you been in here? You transfer the first batch into the dryer before deciding to get out and possibly get something to eat.

"Doll!"

You jump for the second time since you woke up, looking to the direction the voice is coming from and seeing Bucky jogging over to you. And just like that, the blissful moment of not remembering anything right after waking up is gone. Your heart still thumps in excitement upon seeing him, but there's also apprehension.

Are the two of you still okay? Did the mission somehow change his mind about you?

"I've been looking everywhere for you. Wanda said you weren't feeling good." He immediately feels your forehead, pulling you close to kiss it after. You smile, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"You okay, baby?" he asks, leaning his forehead against yours.

"Yeah, just accidentally slept in the laundry room," you reply. "How was the mission?"

"Just fine," he says, pulling away to drag you to the elevator. "Annissa did a really great job. Don't think she really needed a partner."

"Oh." was all you could say. You pull your hand away from his, making a show of leaning against the cold metal of the elevator and closing your eyes just as he turns to look at you.

You feel him inch closer, wrapping his arms around you and leaning his head on your shoulder. "I missed you today."

"Missed you too." you whisper, shutting your eyes tighter, not really trusting your voice not to break if you speak louder than that.

You walk out first when the elevator dings, going straight to your room. He follows behind you quietly, and you don't doubt he's already studying you, thinking about what's wrong, and you will yourself to stop acting and feeling this way but you can't. You want to be alone, even if when he wasn't here just yet, all you wanted was for him to come home, and now that he is, you want him to stay as far away from you as possible, and you hate it.

It's irrational and stupid and asking for the impossible, but it's still there.

"Are we okay, babydoll?" he asks, voice a little weaker, a little less sure as he wraps his arms around you from behind, nuzzling his face into your neck.

"Yeah," you reply, absentmindedly rearranging things on your vanity mirror. You feel his eyes on you through the mirror, but you don't meet them, afraid that yours would sell you out more than the rest of you is already doing.

"Are you gonna tell me the truth?" he says, and you can feel his lips moving against your skin, and damn if it doesn't make you weak. But before you could reply to him, his phone's dinging from his pocket.

You try to stop yourself, but as soon as he brings it out and looks over it, your eyes are on it too. You immediately regret it as soon as you read Annissa’s name. The ugly feeling practically cackles from inside you as it rears its head for the nth time that day.

The words are out before you could think them through, "I think she still needs you."

There's an edge to it. It's not casual or normal sounding by any means, and you hate it. He freezes in his spot and you take that as an opportunity to step away from him again, but he stops you, using one arm to scoop you up in his hold once again.

"Baby," he breathes as you struggle to get out of his grip, "are you—are you jealous?"

“No.” you grumble.

“’S my babydoll jealous, hmm?” he asks again, and you can practically feel him smiling against your skin as he swings you from side to side in his arms.

"No I'm not. Stop laughing," you say through gritted teeth. The word coming out of him and the slight laughter in his voice makes you realize even further how stupid this all is. How stupid you are.

“’M not laughing babe, just can’t believe you’d think that. Look at me, please," he says, turning you around in his arms.

"No." You close your eyes, embarrassed by the tears welling up on them.

"Baby—fuck I should've known. I knew something was wrong when you walked out before we went. Fuck, I'm sorry—"

"This is not your fault," you choke out, "I'm-I'm the one being stupid. This is stupid, Buck. I'll get over it."

"No it's not. If it's making you feel this way, it's not stupid." he coaxes, taking your face in between his hands and pressing his forehead to yours.

"It's not healthy, okay? I'm not supposed to feel this way, I— you're doing your best to make sure I don't feel this way, but I still do, and I'm sorry,"

"Hey, hey, shh. Look at me baby," he runs a thumb on your cheek, "open your eyes, angel." he says it in the softest voice, like he usually does with you and only you, and you shut your eyes tighter, hating that you even painted that very same softness earlier as being patronizing when he was just being sweet like he usually is to you. And he's still sweet, so sweet to you even if you're shutting him out because of a stupid feeling.

"Babydoll, please..."

And you finally cave, opening your eyes, his own soft blue ones being the sight that greets you.

"There's my girl." He smiles, kissing your nose.

"Don’t stay it’s stupid, ‘cause it’s not, alright? I get mopey all the time and you’re always so patient with me," he says, “you have nothing to be jealous of, doll. It’s only you for me.”

You sigh, holding his wrists in your hands. "I'm sorry. I don't wanna be clingy...or a crazy girlfriend, I just—I don't know." You turn around, fixing the covers strewn around your bed.

He wraps his arms around you, making sure he's not pressing on any of your bruises before he lifts you up and puts you gently down onto the bed where he presses you to his body and wraps you up in the blankets.

"I don't care if you're clingy, or a crazy girlfriend, or a crazy-clingy girlfriend. Hell, even if you're a controlling and possessive girlfriend, as long as it's a you girlfriend." he says, nuzzling his face into your hair.

"That's toxic, Buck—"

"Shh," he interrupts softly, kissing the nape of your neck, "don't overthink what I said. The gist of it is that I love you," he lifts his head up to press small kisses on your cheek, "I love you," he repeats, drawing his words out.

You giggle from the feeling of his scruff and light kisses, feeling incredibly lighter than you did pretty much the whole day. The two of you grow silent for a minute, admiring the oranges and reds that paint the sky as the sun sets and simply basking in the presence of each other, one you both have missed for the past week.

You turn your head to look at him moments later, pressing a kiss on his chin. "I mean it though, that kinda thinking's toxic, Bucky. I don't want you ending up with that kind of person one day."

"Good thing I'm ending up with you, then." he says it so nonchalantly, like he just didn't tell you he's thinking that far ahead. That he sees you with him that far ahead.

"You think that?" you ask, voice growing smaller and softer, more expectant, and he only smiles at you, pressing the tip of his nose to yours.

"I know that."

@iamafishandigosplish @vaguelyminty @goldenkillmonger @ejspencer14 @seargantbcky @tinyfistwarrior @ruthyalva96 @pcterpvrker @bekah-mikaelsxn

[photonconductor]

i dont have an ao3 but shout out to my homeboys

once upon there was a gay on th e moon bc of a really lovng alternate au idea where elc turened BAD and klaus had a 1000 year nap and it'd take too long to fucking explain this so just roll with it ok. this gay--its elcrest btw hes also a Bad Boy now; he rly likes hot topic and thinks those t shirts with sarcastic sayings are actually rly funny but we all know they aren't--was feleing emo bc he couldn't see his bf xen o bc he betrayed him. so he stayed in his room whining abt how fgay he was until eve showed up

"hey whats wrong elc mother is here for u" even tho shes like 5000 years old and looks like shes 2 and also a rock (but im not rockist guys i promise). elc looked at her with his optics shining in the pale argentate light. good thing hes the seme here bc otherwise he'd start crying. in reality he rly wanted to fucking bone xeno bc obviously they had a lot of gay sex b4 they tried to kkill his mom once nad staring at rocks all day kinda sucks.

a;so burnign alive but hes kind of over that phase.

"im sad my bf left me for 1000 years can i pls go back to earth my raging hard on can't be satisfied bc rocks. my dicks not a jack hammer even tho im jacking it all the time (thats what guys do right bitch i dont know)" eve was so offended she put her hands on her giant rock self thats not just herself. its rly fucking complicated shut up u came here for the gay sex not instructibles on how physical forms manifest.

"we dont say ROCKS in this household young man!!!!"

"ＢＵＴ ＭＯＯＯＭＭＭＭＭ sorry i forgot to turn off my seme voice lemme adjust my mic it happens when my dick is hard" elcrest coughed twice "ok sounds good, BUT MOM I RLY NEED TO NUT. YOU KNOW NUT I'M SAYING... ITS ALL OR NUTTING BUT MOSTLY NUTTING IN XENO'S SWEET HOT BUNS"

"stop talking abt nuts u disgusting boy fine, god, if u leave me alone u gaylord"

and then eve punched him so hard in the dick that elcrest landed on earth in a giatn crater. how hes still alive is bc he still had some continues left like in mario even though this is a srpg game. once elc recovered he struck a pose and laughed evilly while twirling his mustache.

"finally...... I have RETURNED for xeno's hot man breasts! the world cannot stop me now!!" he cackly cackkled and quickly ripped off the fake mustache he put on just for this one scene. then elc went on a quest to find where klaus was and bc the author is too lazy to write any tansitional scenes.

elc found him chilling in his bed reading a book that was called Sweets and You: Do sweets make u inherantly Gay? elcrest made the PFFT noise. ofc they make u gay, fuckiing idiot book. he could write better than that author. in fact, elcrest was gonna do that when he got home bc obviously if this trash is published any shit elc wrote would be good.

NO! he had to focus! but he couldnt stop staring at xenos man boobs and felt his dick get hard again. elc got a nose bleed too bc thats what happens in anime right. i played persona 4 i know what im about

"damn u xeno." elc said thru his nosebleed and klaus looked up bc the author cant fucking rmemeber who is klaus and who is xeno and was surprised i remmebred his name but could not remember remember the 5th of novemember

"what"

"XENO IT IS I" since h e was caught red handed he just kickflipped through the window anyway. he did a sick flip then stood in the middle of klauses room. klaus made a gay gaspp

"alto! what are u doing hre!?" klaus said, bc in this AU that was his codename. elc wanted to be currently doing that but eve said no. fuck his mom. except please dont bc i know you sick fucks are thinking abt it.

"I HAVE COME TO BRING YOU BACK TO THE GAY SIDE, XENO WE HAVE COOKIES. bc i really miss that bammin slammin bootilicious sex we used 2 have and you are in fact bammin slammin bootilicious. also have u heard the word and gospel of our savior mother" elc said gayly

"dude no please stop preaching in my house im a changed man now" xeno pirouetted out of bed

"cmon man im ur seme u cant refuse we made like a yaoi blood oath u cant go back on ur word" elc pushed him back on thebed bc he'd have his ass yet anyway so no real use getting up. bc what is consent anyway hes Bad

"o shit really huh" klaus paused in thougt and bad elc laughed evilly. his plan was working!! all he had 2 do was the final touches! i mean besides touching xenos dick or whatever we're not yet. sorry u have to suffer for ten more paragraphs for sweat boy on boy. elc then turned around an produced a kitty keyboard from the recesses of his coat tails. xeno made the :O face and elc sat down bc playing while standing rly fuckin g sucks

"i wrote this for u on the moon so you'll be hypnotized by my sick beats" then he pulled the mic out of the keyboard and made a sick beatbox noise. No i dont know what the fuck it sounds like just google it. klaus blushued and made another gay gasp and elc made the >:3 face

then be started to play the piano keyboard. he was playing cruel angel thesis, their theme song that they had decided at 1am while xeno was drunk af.  it was their theme song despite none of them speaking fucking japanese but they just felt it in their SOULS. it was rly gay. elc was going so fucking hARD that his hard on was getting 40 hard ons. and thats four tens the hard ons. and its rad.

except the ebst part was it was all in meows so it spoke 2 klaus' furry soul.

klaus nyaed softly in surprise and suddenly all his memories of being xneo were restored!!! he gave into the desire that he craved in his soul and opened his big man arms bc for some reaon everyone thinks dudes are thirsty af. dont ask me why

"elc1!1 pls take me!! but be gentle my ass hasnt been ravaged in 1000 years (sick reference to hilda and altos magical wedding night by sorunort like, comment, subscribe for more sick referneces like this one)" xeno mewled like afucking furry and elc nodded once. xeno walked up to elc an touched his man boob sensually even tho xeno is like 60 feet taller than elc just imagine it ok

elc now has sunglasses just bc i think its a funny image

"xeno...... lets do it" elc said softly

"o h elc senpai......." xeno meowed

"and i'll keep my sunglasses on bc i hate the sun #moonlifeforever" and xeno gayzed into his emotion shields sensuallyier. then elc kissed him passionately and their tongues battled for dominance but we all know klaus is a fucking bottom bitch as stated in hilda and altos magical wedding night by sorunort paragraph 17 and 18 bc it was a dialogue.

then elc ripped off his clothes bc hes fucking JACKED and jACKED OFF and xeno gay gasped forlike the third time in this fic. elc was fuckign shredded. legends told of his abs but this time it was real. almost like the fact that shaved ice flavors dont actually exists the syrup is just food coloring.  his dong dangled in the breeze and xeno was turned tf on so he took off his clothes too bc hes not a god damn animal god whats wrong with u elc.

except elc didnt take off the sunglasses like he promised so those were still on dont worry readers i got you covered.

"get on ur knees dude and give me a wet willy but like on my dick" elc demanded

"wtf no"

"dude u cant say no its a smutfic"

"ok yeah i guess i kinda do like sucking dick or somethign"

"PREPARE TO EAT YOUR LAST DICK, XENO" elc cackcled and then xeno succed his dick like no tomorrow. elc practically creamed right there bc he couldnt get his rocks off on the moon for 1000 years (hahaha no im not gonna stop makign rock jokes). also xeno has no gagreflex bc he succed dick like a thousand times. once that was over elc just punched his dick in xenos hot cross buns and xeno meowed again

"why are u still a furry after 1000 years" elc asked but continued to Ravage The Promised Ass

"do u nyat like it erucu-kun???" xeno purred and elc shook his head

"no ur still banging its ok"

NUT THEN (i wanted to write but but i typoed and decided to keep it its funnier this way) xenos ass started 2 glow with a new holy light

"WHAT tHE FUCK" elc yelled

"my ass was actually the only way we could turn u good again! the more u fuck me the gooder u are!" and elc gasped gayily! no! his plan was working against him! he could alredy feel the goodness (haha get it bc fucking is hot i guess) turning him good! he had 2 pull out but found he couldnt. xeno was just too bammin slammin bootlicious

"HOW DARE YOU TRICK, I, ELCREST THE CONDICKTOR" he roared and xeno was tuned on again bc roaring is prolly a furry thign im not a furry im sorry

"it was for ur own good elc bc i love you!" xeno dokied so hard there were shoujo sparkles and even elc got shoujo sparkles. his azure optics glew like stella glow and u could almost see constellations in them. except there were sunglasses so u couldnt actually see it but the reader can. xneo was right. he was his tru  love..... not the Mother..... his mom was lame anyway all she did was talk to rocks

"xeno.............." elc said wiwstfully before bangin xeno harder. their bangin was so intense everyone could hear it in the kngihts barraks. it was so loud that even ana in her coma woke up for like a second to be like The Gays are At It Again. soon enough the banging was sucessful. elc glew in a beautiful magical girl ligtht and he was become good again. xeno shed a single tear but licked it away

"im cured! xeno ur ass did it! plus that was hot" elc smiled and im pretty sure xeno cried bc look at that man. hes so beautiful. please take the $2 from my purse. they embraced in a gay way. it was cute and xeno did a thumbs up and ana's face appeared at 20% opacity in the bg and she was also winking

"elc i am so glad u are back and i love u" then they made out. for a rly long time too bc theyre so fucking GAY good lord how could stella glow keep this under wraps. then they decidd they had to punch eve in the rock bc she was a dickw hile elc was being emo and stuff. BUT FIRST, xeno got porked lke 80 more times b4 then bc 1000 years does a lot do u.

the end remember to like, comment, subscribe for more fics like this one, seeya

[fragiilexa]

“STOP PRETENDING TO BE OK!” oh but from who............. lemme just,,,,,,,,,,, LIP / LUCIAN / WADE STFU / PAX / ANYONE IM FORGETTING THAT WE HAVE PLOTTED WITH BC....... i am tired ok im leaving now i love u love u lots lots

Send “STOP PRETENDING TO BE OK!” for my muse’s reaction to yours yelling this at them               ACCEPTING

lila x lip.

He didn’t ever really YELL at her, not like this. She knew that they had an unspoken rule that you didn’t dig too deep, you didn’t push and you tried your best to hide what you were feeling because there was only so much they could do for one another. There was never a time where she thought they’d ever come to a different point in their relationship, she never thought he had cared enough to PUSH. But she took three stumbled steps back as his voice cut through the air around her. Parching her throat and watering her eyes all at once as the last word ripped into the atmosphere. 

She had tried so hard tonight to be her normal self. Bubbly, carefree, happy. But nothing stopped the ache she felt at the knowledge that this year on her birthday she’d have to go through it ALONE. Without Ash… without her baby; without  a n y o n e. And he kept asking why she hadn’t been her normal self; or where her smile went when he tried to cheer her up with some stupid joke and she’d barely been able to meet his gaze. All she replied with was ‘im okay. i’m okay. i’m okay I’m okay. I’m OKAY.’ Over and over and over and over and over again, it hadn’t taken long after that to end up here. Frozen in place out of fear he might actually want to help; or worse that in the process of seeing who she really was he would walk away. If she said anything else… if she admitted how NOT okay she was then her whole, tough, built up wall might crumble into pieces and God only knows she didn’t expect him to pick it up. No matter how much she may have wanted him to, or how much she may have wanted to tell him. But instead her head shakes. “ You… y- you should leave. “ It was SAFER that way; for her and for him there would be no damage done if he just ignored this, if she just pushed it away. Put another brick on the wall; sat on the wall so it wouldn’t move. pour entire trucks of cement over the wall so it wouldn’t break; it couldn’t break. “ Please, Lip… I’m f- fine… I’m okay j- just leave.      Get out. “ She hisses, wiping at what may have been tears slipping past her cheeks. 

lila x lucian.

She’s STUNNED. At least for the first few seconds. Mostly because Lucian had no place in that department anymore she had no right to tell something SO TRUE straight to Lila’s face. That’s what friends did and they weren’t that anymore… she didn’t know what they were anymore or how the ended up smack dab in front of one another so often. She used to cherish when they were but now every time they came face to face it left a bitter taste in her mouth. Lucian had been there for her through so much in her life and if they hadn’t already BURNED whatever bridge they’d had Lila might have yearned for that relationship to come back. But now all she wanted was to be miles from where ever the lilac haired girl was. 

“ No, FUCK YOU. “ She starts, “ You and your God Damned mouth can shut the fuck up for once. I don’t want to hear what you think you know or how you feel or what you think I feel, Lucian. I’m DONE with you. You lost your right to tell me that shit when you left. “ Lila snapped, furious with the idea that Lucian somehow wanted to pretend to care if Lila was alright or not when she’d clearly decided that she didn’t want to be around anymore when Lila needed her. “ Maybe I’m not okay, maybe I am but you don’t get to sit here and act like you give a flying fuck about how I’m feeling after everything that you did to make me feel like shit just- fuck you. Go find someone else who gives a shit about your opinions. “ 

lila x wade.

She’d just muted him out; stayed silent. The thought that he would drop it made her feel a little better but he didn’t and her silence turned into his voice rising higher, making her FLINCH at how the last word seemed to snap out. But that snap seemed to shake her from her silence. Gaze finally rising up to only to notice that the seemingly LOUD silence was because he’d paused the television. Lila’s gaze moves from the paused movie to him; lingering over his brow and then lips before she slips off the couch and right past him. “ Okay, I’m not okay- I’m perfect. “ The word slips out like a curse but she doesn’t look back at him for fear he might dispute it. No. In fact she starts to ignore him again and makes her way to the kitchen. Scanning the fridge for a late night snack that might put her at ease. She finds nothing. Next it the freezer and the sight of a half eaten box of neapolitan ice cream catches her eyes. “ Do you want an- “ She pauses, then shrugs. “ Nevermind… “ She’ll make him a bowl anyways. Maybe if hes eating then he won’t be able to talk… maybe if he starts talking again she’ll just shove some ice cream in his mouth so he can’t. He gets ice cream. She gets silence. It’s a win-win.

Lila comes out moments later with two massive bowls of ice cream ( of course her’s is mostly strawberry and chocolate ) but she sits back down in the same spot; criss-cross and shoves the second bowl over to him. “ Eat. “ She murmurs, scanning the couch absently for the remote and leaning to grab it from under her the blanket she was using before clicking PLAY. She glances at him again but barely meets his gaze and goes to nudge the bowl closer to him. “ Look, if you don’t eat it I’ll eat it & then I’ll be fat and tired and I don’t wanna be that so eat up. “ The moment Lila does meet his gaze it almost add’s a ‘please’ to the end of her sentence but she looks away before it says anything else. She can’t risk it.

lila x pax. 

Lila had been on the verge of anger most of the night; maybe Pax could tell or maybe she was to easy to see through that the bubble of anger ( of frustration ) of PAIN couldn’t be hidden by clenching teeth of digging her fingernails whatever she had a firm grip on. She’d forgotten however that her grip had been on Pax’s hand as they walked and the moment Lila realized she was pushing her nails into the woman’s hand and not her own. That’s what had started this. That was what had made her stumble over her words instead of admitting she was far from fine, and it hit her how much pain was SEEPING out as soon as she heard Pax yell. It was unlike the woman to do so and it startled Lila to the point of halting in the middle of her steps to stop walking. Her gaze instead lifted up to meet the other woman’s gaze and a swell of emotions bubble up to her throat. Though Lila tries to swallow it back the more she stares at Pax the less she can see; tears fogging her sight as she tried to come up with an excuse, or something to deflect the truth in the woman’s words but she came up empty.

Instead of fighting; instead of pushing she could feel herself begin to unravel. Unsure if her own pain was worse than seeing the worry that was hidden behind her best friends eyes; she had never really been able to lie her way out of things with Pax. It was to easy for the woman to see through Lila and it was one reason why Lila had purposefully pushed her away in the beginning. But now it was no use; she knew she couldn’t shrug any of it away when Pax was there because Pax never pushed; she just waited Lila out and it ALWAYS worked. “ I... Pax... “ She starts, throat closing up as she attempted to explain; even apologize but the tears that welled up in her eyes started to slip and instead of trying to fend for herself; for once she just fumbled her arms until they wrapped around Pax’s neck “ I- I’m n- not... “ She whimpered, hiding her face in the woman’s shoulder, hoping that she didn’t NEED to say anything else to the woman right now.