#that ties into my old story project and short walk to heaven later on

[virsancte]

you were there, you were, just another witness of his short jump past the fault line; and the world fell upon you with a swiftness, on that quiet summer morning, two thousand and nine

[mommymooze]

Angelic Vision

Claude x Reader

Angelic Vision

“You look like an angel. Have you come to take me to heaven?“ Claude lies on the ground, the back of his hand across his brow.

“No, but when I pull that arrow out of you it’s going to hurt like hell.” You say as you put your knee on his chest and with both hands pull the arrow back out of Claude’s shoulder.

“Yeeowch!” Claude hollers.

You then pour healing magic into his shoulder, feeling the muscles weaving themselves back together. You stand up reaching out your hand for his other hand to help Claude up from the ground.

“Go easy on it. If you reinjure it, go find Marianne because I’m not going to fix it again.” You tell him before running off to the next injured party.

Hilda walks up to stand by the House Leader of the Golden Deer. “Why do the super smart ones always have to be so pissy?”

“Beats me, if they would loosen up or relax a little, they would have a lot more fun.” Claude shrugs.

Mail is delivered and there is a shipment of three boxes for you. Pretty darn heavy boxes. You carry them one at a time from the front gate to your room. Unlocking and opening your door you suddenly find you are not alone. Claude gives a look of shock at the number of books in your room. One entire wall is nothing but books.

“You do know they have a library here.” Claude quips

“It is useless for my research.” You grumble. “The books are old and out of date. They also do not have any ancient texts that may have useful yet forgotten applications.”

Claude is looking at the subjects and titles. “Hey mind if I borrow a few?” You raise an eyebrow at him. “I’ll think about it. “

You’ve been hanging out with Linhardt a lot lately. He’s supposed to be helping with a project you’re working on.

“When I saw them in the library, they were getting pretty cozy.” Hilda snarkily jests.

Claude decides there is a book that he must have right now from the library. He walks in to see you back to back with a very unconscious Linhardt. You’re trying to support him with your back so he doesn’t fall over completely while you are still reading your book. You look trapped?

“Having fun?” Claude grins.

“Yeah. When Lin’s on empty he just crashes. Since Caspar isn’t here, well, I don’t want him to fall and get hurt. I can’t move him.” You groan

Claude helps you get the sleeping cleric to a couch to catch his z’s.

“Thanks. Squishy magic users don’t quite have the strength for these things.”

“I’d be happy to help you out with anything.” Claude smiles. “Call me and I’ll be there!”

You spend the afternoon gathering plants and mushrooms in the nearby woods for your studies. You’ve been working on creating antitoxins and other cures for poisons. You have several bags tied to your waist with different plants in them. Just as you’re about to reach for a particularly ugly and poisonous mushroom you hear a voice calling out your name.

“Hey! Those are really poisonous. You better watch out!”

“Oh Claude, of course I know they are poisonous. How am I supposed to make a potion to neutralize them if I don’t collect them?” You roll your eyes at him.

“Since when have you been interested in poisons?” He raises an eyebrow at you.

“Since Leonie took that poison arrow last battle. We didn’t have anything to counteract it and she had to suffer for over a week until the poison made it through her system.”

“You’re right. He muses. “Maybe we can work together on them sometime?”

An envelope is sealed and addressed to you. It’s the regular update from your father. Sitting down in the dining hall you groan miserably as you read.

Hilda has to know what is troubling you. “Family feud?”

“Just kill me now.” You whine.

She pats you on the shoulder. “Can’t be that bad, can it?”

“My father. I love him dearly but he meddles so much. He agreed that I could come here to further my learning. But…” You hesitate.

She looks at you, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“He told me I have to find myself a husband, preferably a noble while here. I am extremely busy with class work, spell practice, spell development, antidote, and concoction creation. I hardly have time to sleep. Oh, and don’t forget Byleth’s special projects. The guys want someone fun and outgoing like you. You’re cute and entertaining and I’m a dowdy old bookworm.”

“Awww. I am pretty awesome, that’s true.” Hilda grins. “You just need a fake boyfriend while your father is here. I bet I can find someone to help you.”

“Not Sylvain. I will kill myself.” You frown.

“I gotcha fam. Give me the deets and I will set you up.”

“Thanks Hils I owe ya.” You curtsey to her.

“Sky watch for the next month to start, hmmmm…” She ponders.

Later that evening Hilda corners Claude. “One big fat amazing opportunity has just dropped into your lap, loverboy. You better not mess this up!”

“Do tell…” Claude winks.

Tomorrow is the day your father is to arrive. You find Hilda to see if she has anything set for you. Hilda says she’s got everything under control. You’re shaking in your boots, the only thing going through your mind is that your father is going to drag you out of here kicking and screaming because you don’t have a boyfriend.

The day arrives. Standing next to the gatekeeper you watch as the carriage rolls closer and closer to the front gate. Suddenly an arm slides around your back and a familiar voice speaks, “Shouldn’t we go down and greet your father, my deer?” You look up into the sparkling emerald green eyes of Claude. Blushing terribly, you can only nod as you walk down the steps to greet your father.

Your father rushes to you with both arms open to give you a hug and spin you half way around in a circle. “My baby. It’s been so long. In these few short months I daresay you’ve grown in to a fine woman. So beautiful.” Your fathers’ cheeks are rosy and eyes are filled with love for his only daughter. “And who is this young man?” He curiously asks.

“My apologies, father.” You are gasping for breath. “This is Claude von Riegan.

Grandson to-”

Your father finishes your statement. “The Duke of the Leister Alliance!”

“And her beau.” Claude announces proudly, first bowing to your father then taking your hand and intertwines your fingers before placing a gentle kiss onto your knuckles. Your face flushes redder than a summer tomato.

Claude continues to hold your hand as he escorts the both of you to your room. The future Duke and your father are already excitedly discussing Leister business, trade and the safety of trade routes.

“I will leave you to your visit. I’ll be back in time to take you both for a grand lunch in town just across the way.” Claude smiles as he bows to your father and kisses your hand again before he leaves, his cape swishing as he turns.

You open your door to find a small table with a pitcher of ice cold water and lemons as well as two glasses and a small stack of cakes. A beautiful bouquet of daisies and roses accompanies them. Two comfortable and decorative chairs are alongside of the table. You swear you recall those chairs were in Seteth’s office not too long ago.

“Please take a seat, father.” You pour him some of the deliciously refreshing chilled water. “Tell me about your trip.” Trying to keep him focused on what has been going on at home. Every time he tries to ask about your relationship with Claude, you ask about your brothers or your aunt, anything to steer the conversation away from you. An opportune knock on the door disrupts your fathers latest attempt to discuss your relationship with the grandson of Duke Riegan.

“My apologies, we do have a reservation for lunch in town.” Claude bows deeply to the both of you. As you leave your room, Claude swiftly takes your hand. You smile nervously at him. This man is a master of deception.

Claude manages the conversation with entertaining stories of Byleth and the Golden Deer. He makes certain to include some accounts of your healing accomplishments, swearing that none of the deer would be here without your amazing abilities. You spend the entire time blushing or begging Claude to stop praising you, but he keeps going, his smile wider and wider.

At the restaurant, the waitress brings you to the table and Claude attends your chair for you. The waitress comments that it is always lovely to see you two lovebirds in here again. Does Claude have the entire town in on this? Geeez. Claude orders lunch for the both of you, as if he has done this a hundred times.

Lunch is anxious yet enjoyable. You are on the edge of your seat at all times. Claude explains how you met through the Golden Deer. You’re both supportive and loyal to the class. You found common interests in seeking cures for poisons and are very supportive of each other in battle, that you fell for his charm and good looks and that he is incredibly impressed by your intelligence and knowledge. Nothing he says is a lie, except that you two aren’t really together.

The waitress asks about dessert. Your father declines, Claude tells her the usual and your eyes get big. He squeezes your hand that he has clasped in his on the table and gives you a wink.

A small cake with two forks is placed between you. Claude quickly takes a fork and holds a piece of cake in front of your lips. You glance at him and your father. Feeding you? That’s pretty intimate. Claude smiles wider as you open slowly while he feeds you a bit of cake. You look into his eyes and tell him it is wonderful.

He cuts off another bit and takes a bite. “Delicious.” Is that an indirect kiss?

Your father is grinning at you as the cake is finished. You slightly roll your eyes with embarrassment and that fact that you can’t believe Claude is doing this.

The men argue a minute over who will pay the tab, Claude graciously thanking your father for a delightful lunch as your father foots the bill. Your father commenting that this has been the best and most entertaining lunch he has had in a long time makes you blush harder.

The conversation is quieter as everyone his happily full walking back to the monastery. Claude happily swings your hands back and forth together as you walk. Your father asks what things you will be doing soon. Claude advises they have a mission at the end of the month, and also the two of you have a date this Saturday just before sunset.

As you head back to the grounds, your father’s carriage is ready to go. Saying your goodbyes, your father gives you a long hug and whispers “Don’t let this one go, he’s a great catch.” He steps back and gives you one long admiring look.

He shakes Claude’s hand warmly, asking him to watch out for his baby girl.

“I’ll do everything in my power to protect her, sir. You can count on that.” Claude gives him one of his classic winks.

Standing at the gate, holding hands, you both wave as your father’s carriage rolls out of sight.

Claude holds his hands out to you, “A kiss for your boyfriend?” he says as he closes his eyes and puckers his lips. You laugh as you lightly slap his shoulder.

“I cannot believe you pulled this off! I thought for sure I’d be riding back with him, but you actually had him eating out of your hand!”. You laugh as you walk away. “Maybe you should see about getting into acting or the opera. I don’t think Dorothea could have pulled off a performance like that.”

You get back to your room and thankfully Seteth’s chairs are missing. The pitcher of water is still there and the flowers. You didn’t notice before, but there was a card with them.

Every day is heaven with you, my angel ~Claude.

P.S. You keep the date on Saturday at sunset.

[fortylessonsbeforeforty]

Lesson 26

I learnt that goodbyes never get easier to say but they are a beautiful part of life. Goodbyes come in all shapes and forms; some catch us by surprise, others are inevitable; some are by the doing of others, whilst some we reluctantly need to do for ourselves. We learn so many different ways of saying goodbye; Adios, Arrivederci, Au Revoir, Ciao, Auf Wiedersehen, Sayōnara. Whatever the context, and regardless of the language, I’m not sure goodbyes ever get any easier to do.

When I was younger I remember hating the thought of saying goodbye. I have a vivid memory of watching The Flying Doctors with my family and getting so emotional when a character had passed away that I went to the bathroom to cry alone. In my early twenties, I remember having the epiphany that one day my Grandparents would pass away and it was the first time I realised the inevitability of having to say goodbye to people I’d known and loved my entire life. I really resonated with the Natalie Imbruglia song, ‘What’s The Good In Goodbye’

What’s the good in goodbye When there are no reasons why When you’re gone I have nothing you know I don’t wanna say goodbye When there’s heaven in ‘hello’

As I’ve grown up, I’ve realised goodbyes are a natural part of life and they don’t always have to be sad. From the moment I saw this quote it struck a chord with me and I’ve used it ever since: “It’s not goodbye, it’s just see you later.” It would be impossible to keep count of the number of goodbyes I’ve said in my life; leaving school and saying goodbye to people I’d spent so many years growing up with, who for some you may never see again, others you may naturally drift away from. Moving away from home, the goodbyes to family that I will go from seeing almost daily to only seeing them at holidays or for significant events. Goodbyes to friends, lovers and colleagues; it is the inevitable and constant comings and goings of people in life.

Even when people leave our lives, they aren’t completely gone, even in death. There are photographs, videos, letters and the memories that we keep in our heads. For this reason, goodbyes can be a little easier to deal with, even those that have dearly departed. Patrick Droney speaks so beautifully about his song ‘Glitter,’ which explores the theme of grief. He says, “Consider for a moment your life as an art project. Grief stands out as one of the messiest strokes of life, like glitter scattered across the floor after a collage. The beautiful and shiny memories of people stick to you, as does the absence of them…when you think someone’s memory is gone, you find a piece of them still shining somewhere in your life. A piece of glitter.” The song has this feeling of hope shimmering along with sadness when someone leaves, and there is always beauty in the memories that remain.

But no one really dies if the love remains ’Cause nothing that dies really goes away See grief, it’s just like glitter It’s hard to brush away Bright light and it still shimmers Like it was yesterday And it falls like confetti All of the memories explode like a hand grenade And it’s sweet and it’s bitter Grief, it’s like glitter Oh, what a mess it makes What a mess it makes

A song that really touched me when my Gran passed away was ‘The Place Where Lost Things Go’ from ‘Mary Poppins Returns.’ It bought me great comfort, not only from the sentiment in the lyrics, but also the fact that the original movie was one that I had watched countless times with her, singing along to the lyrics that she had handwritten in a notepad for us.

Memories you’ve shared Gone for good you feared They’re all around you still Though they’ve disappeared Nothing’s really left Or lost without a trace Nothing’s gone forever Only out of place So when you need her touch And loving gaze Gone but not forgotten Is the perfect phrase Smiling from a star That she makes glow Trust she’s always there Watching as you grow Find her in the place Where the lost things go

I’m not entirely sure where the place is that the lost things go, but I choose to believe it’s within us. It’s been two years since she passed away and I still see her in my dreams, sometimes forgetting that she’s gone and think to call her on my drive home, (like I did so often after leaving home). I really felt her presence the afternoon I had high tea at Buckingham Gardens. It would have been something my Gran would have loved to do and I know she would have loved hearing my tell the story of going, asking to see all the photos I took. It was in this instance I knew she’d never be truly gone, as long as I had her memories, images and voice in my head and held onto the traditions she is a part of.

I’ve found the most difficult goodbyes are the ones you know you have to make to people or situations that no longer serve us positively. We cling to them and resist letting go, because so much of our past is tied to them and the hopes we have for the future. I’m quite a loyal person, but I’ve learned that there comes a time, when we need to put ourselves first. There is strength in saying goodbye to people and situations, acknowledging that in the short term it will hurt, but in the long run it’s the right thing to do. @taylorswift sings about this in ‘it’s time to go.’

That old familiar body ache The snaps from the same little breaks in my soul I know when it’s time to go

Sometimes giving up is the strong thing Sometimes to run is the brave thing Sometimes walking out is the one thing That will find you the right thing

Somewhere along the way we learn to say goodbye despite the pain we know it will bring, even when there is a desire to hold onto something that’s already gone. Some of the hardest goodbyes for me have come with leaving the schools I’ve taught at. Whilst I have many amazing memories in each of them, I’ve always reached the point of knowing that to continue growing, I need to leave. There is always the tendency to tell myself, “I just need to see this year level through to graduation,” or “Once I finish this project, it’ll be my time to go.” I’ve found that there will never be a RIGHT time to leave, no matter the various reasons we build in our heads as to why we need to stay. Despite some of the negative experiences that may have occurred, I’ve learnt to not harbour ill feelings and choose to see the good there was before ties are severed and the necessary goodbye has been said. There’s an amazing monologue in the Netflix film ‘Someone Great’ that describes this perfectly. The protagonist, Jenny, pens a letter to her partner, as a way of not only finding closure from their relationship, but acknowledging the good there was.

Do you think I can have one more kiss? I’ll find closure on your lips and then I’ll go. Maybe, also, one more breakfast, one more lunch, and one more dinner. I’ll be full and happy and we can part. But, in between meals, maybe we can lie in bed one more time? One more prolonged moment where time suspends indefinitely as I rest my head on your chest. MY hope is if we add up the one more’s, they will equal a lifetime. And I’ll never have to get to the part where I let you go. But that’s not real, is it? There are no more ‘one mores.’ I met you when everything was new and exciting, and the possibilities of the world seemed endless. And they still are. For you. For me. But not for us. Somewhere between then and now, here and there– I guess we didn’t just grow apart……we grew UP. When something b r e a k s, if the pieces are large enough, you can fix it. Unfortunately, sometimes things don’t break. They s h a t t e r. But when you let the light in, shattered glass will glitter. And in those moments — when the pieces of what we were catch the sun — I’ll remember just how beautiful it was. Just how beautiful it will always be. Because it was us. And we were magic. Forever.

I don’t think there’ll ever be a time where I find that goodbyes get any easier, but I know from my change in mindset, I’ve found a way of finding the good in goodbye.

[fuzaointerviewproject]

Online project | #03 Ti Re Zhong & Erzhuo

Round #03

Erzhuo：EZ

Ti Re Zhong ：TRZ

Erzhuo ask questions, and Ti Re Zhong answer

EZ: It is exactly one year since I first saw the clay ear decoration you made, because this is a nickname that I have been called since primary school. Every time I see your IG update, I feel like I (?) in cue. . Originally is a small, then into a large wing, and jump on the screen, my ears want to hear your ear story.

TRZ: Hahaha, I call you again and again. In fact, the first ear story came from a small story in the picture book four stories.

"Became ears" 

Here is an ear that lives in a shellIt said, 

"speak to everything by day and come back here at night to become your own ears."

You see the moon has become an ear

The ears go from lying in the shell to the wings on the back, which is like a process of enlarging and shrinking oneself.

"Became ears" series by Ti re zhong

EZ: Ears ask: why ears?

TRZ: I think ears are very fragile, sensitive and soft. In the story, I use "ears" as a metaphor for myself. The ears are full of secrets about breathing, growth, and love, like whirlpools that go round and round and then sink. Put one ear to the other during the night and listen: “ sasasa... he start to telling a story.”

“Ear’s wings” by Tirezhong

“Ear moon” by Tirezhong

EZ: Were your first art works three-dimensional or planar?

TRZ: Most of them are flat, and usually at the beginning of a story I might make them have text, and then a picture. Or just have a picture. When I get used to doing something one way it lasts a long, long time, like my breakfast with the same ingredients and the same way for months without getting sick. I don't know if that's good. But now I will consciously think about how to present when I leave the plane. Also try to cook your usual ingredients in a different way.

"Making Love" series, by Tirezhong

“A broken ear” by Tirezhong

“Ear butterfly”by Tirezhong

"The spread of fire"

“Unknown name fire”

EZ: We gave each other old toys before, I'm really happy that you like the old toys I gave you! I've never seen any of the rabbits you received. When did you become interested in old things? Does your clay work have anything to do with the cute toy you bought?

TRZ: I remember when I was a child, I would not play with toys, it seems that after going to Japan, see there are all kinds of small toys is simply too cute, yes! Yeah, that's when I started noticing that I was interested in toys with emotional expressions. My clay works also have expressions, but most of them are sad and cry like me, hahaha.

"Clay" Series by Tirezhong

EZ: When I was in Beijing last year, I was honored to see the comics you created after your graduation. The slow-paced narration is very nostalgic, sentimental and gentle, which arouses my sense of nostalgia and reminds me of my childhood. I'm not good at telling stories, so I was curious why I chose comic books as the narrative.

TRZ: The picture book story is about my understanding of death. It is made up of eight short stories. They represent the journey of life and death by way of dialogue and travel notes. Each image of the story has a connection, starting with the earth and going back to the earth as a symbol of the cycle of life. So every picture is continuous, because life and death is a long journey.

University Graduation work, comic strip book by Tirezhong

EZ: Your paintings are so tender and lovely! (again, I was attracted to traits I didn't have.) Talking to you before feels like you're avoiding the hurt of some negative emotions and choosing to see the cute side of things. Do you have trouble creating? And if so, what?

TRZ: I think most of my works are full of sad emotions. For a long time, I don't like to accept my negative emotions, which is just like partial eclipse. However, my body will become unhealthy after a long time. Later let oneself get used to slowly a mouthful of eat it. In fact, it is easy for me to encounter difficulties hahaha, I will stop first, maybe not continue for the next few days, or to do another work, but in my mind will continue to work it, the rest is waiting for them to knock on your door.

Some Zine made by Tirezhong

EZ: You took me to appreciate the Sichuan flavor of the dirty words, enriched my words to express emotions, here to offer sincere thanks! Your personality jumps back and forth between the angel and the devil, the devil of the angels and the angel of the devil. How do you incorporate this quality into your work?

Hahaha you are an walking Xinhua dictionary, I dare not offend the angel! I think it's because of my character, I can't hide my secret, so it is naturally exposed in my works.

“Ears” by Tirezhong

“Cochlea” by Tirezhong

EZ: I heard that you had the good fortune to meet a good teacher at your university. Do you miss the time you spent as a student and a friend, creating works of art? Now do you want to go back to school and study again?

TRZ: Really, I was really really lucky! She taught me how to tell a story and how to express my emotions. I also want to stand on the balcony of the dormitory with my friends and admire the green hillside. I don't think "further study" is the right word for me. I am still eager to learn, but now I want to learn and experience life in my own surroundings and activities.

“Park” photo by Tirezhong

EZ: As the brain only has the ability to cope with a single core processor vegetable chicken newbie want to know: how do you allocate your work and art creative time?

TRZ: Now I'm unemployed again, and in my old job I really just took time out of my work to make art. Sometimes I feel that I need to separate myself. When I am working, my head is still relatively free to think about some works. The rest of my work is to squeeze time from work.

Photos by Tirezhong

EZ: It's a digression：do you deliberately separate your private life from your public life?

TRZ: My public life is actually quite few, I almost live in their own private life, I feel no need to deliberately, they can be separated naturally..

___________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________

Ti Re Zhong ask questions, and Erzhuo answer

TRZ: Was there anything that changed your understanding of death during the months of being trapped in Wuhan by a novel coronavirus outbreak?

EZ: Really rarely talked about this topic, maybe because at the beginning of the epidemic? The air was suddenly heavy and hard to save. Must say that the words is "Those who come are fickle, those who die are helpless."

All of a sudden, I’m using these rhetorical words, feel a little uncomfortable, but I can't find a better word to say. I have neither experienced death also don't know understand death. The only feeling during the Covid-19 epidemic is to cherish life? Life is borrowed and must be given back when it is due.. I want to experience more of what I've never done before my physical and mental capacity declines permanently，want to experience more of both physical satisfaction and self-actualization (what a greedy adult :P). Then give it back (life) when you've used up.

“Before the outbreak of the coronavirus, this cat often visited my balcony to see me”, picture by Erzhuo

TRZ: During the Covid outbreak, you were not allowed to go out. Did you often look out of the window at home? Did you see anything or anyone that impressed you?

EZ: In my memory, I often looked out of the window of my apartment during the early period of Wuhan's city closure. Unfortunately, I was not used to it at the beginning, and it was not until half a month later that I finally opened my mind. This is a desensitization process in essence, because my apartment is just down the road, I would look out the window every day and see the supermarket replenishment across the street, they get their stock three times a day. 

Occasionally I was restlessness and anxiety when the supermarket delivery truck arrives an hour or two late.

Because go out NG, the biggest goal of life - - pick up garbage natural NG (NG means blooper, is a short clip from a film or video production, usually a deleted scene.) I'm not sure I'd pick up some lethal virus and come home and... At that time, I could only watch the staff in the opposite supermarket coming out to throw garbage. They are usually packed in cardboard boxes and vegetables. Once they threw out and sold leftover, not fresh vegetables, and two yellowed broccoli dropped miserably out of the trash can and rolled out onto the road, the urban wild animals are all walking sideways on the road, the days of quarantine are so long that even the dog forgets the car and should to get out of the road.

That scene was so sad, so love tenderly, it hit me right in the heart, like a mother's love flood + my addiction be poked in. Really like to be discarded rotten things, my heaven is like that.

“Broccoli discarded by supermarket staff” photo by Erzhou

In fact, in the end I always stayed close to the computer screen window. Like an old internet diver, the traces left by netizens who have desperately squandered their vitality have always made me remember deeply.

TRZ: It feels like you're really good at playing with yourself. After spending a lot of time with yourself, do you sometimes feel like leaving or doing something that doesn't really matter to you?

EZ: I love to play with myself should be the constellation theory of the pot, I do not back.

Plus,, when I'm alone, I sometimes laugh like an intermittent maniac. I'm scared. What about you? In Hangzhou, which is a more peaceful place than Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, I have been spoiled by myself and become a social misery, well.. like leave a message or profess privately to someone I like him.. Usually, the percentage of time I have fun with myself is very high. the appearance is rigid, my inside like mild on the outside but wild on the inside (it's me), the treatment alone actually quite contradictory. I never wanted to leave my private time, but I would also like more communication.

Erzhuo accidentally collected a cheap ring when looking for work material

Parts of our ring kingdom project

Once I have chosen to do something, can I not be considered irrelevant to me? (If I am forced to do it, maybe it 's better to get out of me.) I will do it if I have a connection with this thing that we can not easily disconnect. The thing I've always done is to finding myself, and I'm very proud for this, during the epidemic, I did something that had nothing to do with art (like starting to look together CP with my half brothers).

Also, for example, when I wrote something, I find that my level of Chinese language was terrible, and then I started reading some books that helped me to extend my personality; or I was drawing something I like, it turns out that the structure is also very important, not the corruption of the academic formula in the taste of rot. It is therefore I think it is necessary to disable my autism mode from time to time.

Now let's go back to the discussion: recently, I always thought this phrase "people have always been alone, but in the depth of solitude and are closely connected", and I was unable to detach from this mode ... and therefore, I think I could still have fun with myself for my life remains.

TRZ: When I saw your works for the first time, it seems to me that they were a bit aggressive. The things that made me feel aggressive, were they produced in a state from you wanted to protect yourself?

EZ: Yes ah. (Stand hand) My heart occasionally longs for the bold character of the Zuan people (The Zuan people refer to a group of people in the "League of Legends" game. They speak very rudely and also have a bad temper. When they opened their mouths, they can immediately annoy other players, and this kind of people are "zuan people").

It was a long time until now that I finally found out, maybe my memory is too good in certain things, it's never enough to keep away from some past things. from my childhood people has always been laughed at me in an enigmatic way, they said my mood was always at the height of adolescence (laughs). Also quite good.

Some people know the world from the front, and others from the back. I belong the second. Recently, I have found this to be very common. Who are not strong in self-protection are actually a bit problematic, and the forced transformation of Buddhist-style people is also a compromise for life, the people and some things around you will benefit from a weak point in a not-positive way to stimulate you and instinctively make you generate passive protection mechanisms. Probably in this context, I was discussing with myself how to balance those correct and absurd errors, and how do I, if in the situation when you don't realize, don't become an obscure, cheap and harmful accomplice. Now I still very care these arguments, I feel that these things can confuse me all my life. I know, those works that make aggressive sense were ideas basically secreted antibodies? even they don't have the theme, it has to do with the things I said before, but the inner emotions are still evident.

The Erzhuo work series "Valentine's Day" exhibited in prsntsnt 

TRZ: When you finish working an opera and look at it after a while, do you try something special? Do you want to delete and edit again?

EZ: I usually feel embarrassed and ashamed when I look at works from the past, No matter how often I looked at the contents of my work (very personal) or a very intimate work, I still remember the causes and consequences that happened at that moment, It's like it was yesterday, so I often sighed: the childish confusion that I brought from my mother's womb is really the same, and it hasn't even changed a bit. It's unbelievable, If the motivation for creating a work of art is enough simple, so cancellation and modification will never turn to me.

Untitled, partial by Erzhuo

Even when you talk about having self-confidence is important? Many concepts in my current age group have not been fully rooted, only with intuition, can you feel that some intangible things in life and works are gradually forming by intuition and the ability to give intangible and tangible skills gradually increases with knowledge.When everything is unfinished, it is impossible to say old and particularly powerful words in this context. (For example, it's not bad to say something rebellious and flamboyant during adolescence.)

Mein Fruhlingbrise du, Du mein Sommerregen by Erzhuo

TRZ: Do you have any habits when creating? Usually, how do you construct your work?

EZ: The word "construction" I remember academic education in the school. Before I graduated, I returned my theoretical and practical knowledge, and my utilitarian and reputable hearts I closed them all in the drawers of my old class.

The process of forming the work is so abstract ... in the end it always became just a meeting of sharing personal experiences (laughs). The motivation is to regularly download my personal emotions through the exit from my work of art? I always felt that the inspiration and the corresponding expressions were born: when I walked, I imagined, and instead when I had free time, and I rehearse.

Erzhuo's habit of creation.

Then I became very fast and my energy concentrated on the aesthetics that interest me, and the related contexts, and rain and dew do not exist. if there were no technical problems I worked not too slow, because the inspiration disappears if I don't finish it quickly, and it is very difficult to sort the semi-finished waste extracted from the soul.

Siick series by Erzhuo

TRZ: Will you repeatedly question yourself during the artistic creation process? How would you relieve anxiety?

EZ:  Absolutely, I chose to use (artistic) creation to find myself again, because compared to other ways, by creating art I can get the maximum fun, the damage is getting lost and collapsing easily. Being human is unexpectedly complex: I have always tried to discover myself with simple methods, but it has never been realized.

How to relieve anxiety

To relieve anxiety, of course, I need to be ingested nicotine (imitation is prohibited), although it is just an easy-to-use social label and intractable habits. you also need to break away from social networks every now and then.

TRZ: Online solution: you have done several part-time jobs, what are your job requests? Because I think you can change your different state very well, so I envy you.

EZ: The current job application is money (hands on the waist). When I read, novel vision of my favorite animation there is a phrase "Work, is nothing more than entertainment to maintain mental health (in the rough sense)", I burst into tears, shit, it seemed like myself.

? ? ? to tell you the truth, I can't change my state very well. I guess you never saw when I got lost like a stray dog. I feel guilty if I let my bad secondhand emotions infect others.

Chat history by Erzhuo

TRZ: I want to know, in your opinion, what is the most difficult point to get along with people?

EZ: The proportion of private and public life. And excessive communication out of control.

Now my attitude towards friendship is basically in a state where I would rather put my relationship with my friends on hold for a long time rather than start casually state.

"You come to me through all good things" by Erzhuo

TRZ: If you can become anything, what do you want to become and why?

EZ: The four-legged monitor in my CP room. Because they deserve and must be happy.

Flashlight received by Erzhuo in Guangzhou Garden District

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ERZHUO

Now lives in Hangzhou.

Usually like to pick up garbage and watch birds.

Create with visual media such as garbage and materials discarded by others, and explore the contradictory relationship between the virtual world and the physical body of real life. Indulge in making life bodies with silver metal texture. Recently focused on personal projects-ring plan.

Ti Re Zhong

Currently lives and works in Shanghai. 

Love listening to stories, telling stories and drawing stories. Each time you create art, it is like organizing your memories in a not-so-large room, and then describing them in different ways. Finally, hide in the quilt and tell yourself the story, and then tell you.

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Contact:

Instagram: erzhuo_babypink & ti_re_zhong