#that they don't even know WHAT INSTRUMENTS WE ARE USING

[ninoucheuuuh]

I will be okay - Octavia's Song

Well, i'm-not-talking-to-my-parent-kids, IF THIS ISN'T OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM

I feel like her song deserves more posts and more longer ones because it was amazing and so hurtful at the same time, and because i was so exited to hear it and well, I'M NOT DISAPPOINTED OBVIOUSLY 💜✨️

(put this here if you want to listen to it again 💜🫶🏻✨️)

I'm going to start with the instrumental :

When the guitar started, I SCREAMED SO HARD, LIKE IT'S THE MOMENT I'VE BEEN WAINTING FOR, WE'RE HERE ✨️✨️✨️

I reaaaaally love the melody. It's composed by very simple chords but it hits SO FUCKING HARD.

It starts with a very soft guitar, it's the start of her confession, of the spread of her feelings. Like she started to let it out a little.

And then, BAM, THAT FUCKING BREATH. ACAPELLA, NO MUSIC. THE BREATH THAT SAYS EVERYTHING. NO WORDS NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND. All her pain, like she's suffocated by the words she kept so long. Am I the only one with tears in the eyes and a pain in the heart everytime I hear this sigh ?

And then the drums start (the transition like oh myyyyy) and the piano just like little sparkles ✨️ And you fell she starts to feel freer in the song. Especially with that beautiful "OOOOooooOOOOooooh" that leads us to a more angrier Octavia (let it out baby 😔❤️)

And after that beautiful lament, we have also an angrier instrumental with the drums, the piano (no more single notes but chords) and that electric guitar ✨️ And with her grungy voice everything feets soooo well ❤️✨️

The music when she says "You were wrong" (at 1:09) INJECT IT IN MY VEINS PLZ 🙏🏻 Same for the guitar at 1:20 when there's the explosion.

AND THEN AGAIN IN THE CHLORUS AT 1:28 THE GUITAR 😭❤️🙏🏻✨️ It gives me tears 🥹❤️ Like a lament and like it goes lower

Also when she says "And when you'll gone I will be okay" it gives me soooo much Creep by Radiohead vibe, especially the "okaaaaaaaay" which sounds so similar to the "weirdoooooooo" and I love it because I think that this vocal is so beautiful ❤️✨️

And then again the guitar (so beautiful 🥹❤️🙏🏻) before the heart's scream

And when she sings there's those little high-pitched notes on the piano and the drums (amazing ✨️)

And it's calm again, the guitar only, like in the begging. It's the end of this escape, we come back in that little closet with Via and her guitar. Those notes, so soft, to highlight her beautiful voice, so sweet, like a caress for the ears, so real, so painful 🥺💔✨️

Also, obviously, the song in general gives a "You will be okay" vibe

(Well, I know it's not a very accurate analysis, it could be more specified but well. It's more a "what I feel while listening to it" and English is not my native language so it's more difficult for me to express exactly what I have in mind. But it's something that I really like to do with one of my friend with songs that we love sooooo)

Now, the lyrics and that beautiful voice that got my heart 🥹❤️✨️ :

Your boxes packed up on the bed Your words are in my head Tellin' me it will be okay You'll remember what you said Or was it just another lie ? [Sigh]

Obviously, the "you will be okay" ref yet. The confort words of her dad are still stuck in her head. And her voice, sooooo beautiful 🫶🏻✨️ When she's reaching higher notes, her voice is so soft. The way she's saying "youuuuu saaaaid" is so pure, same for "just another lie", it also highlights these words. I'd like to focus especially on that line.

The fact that she's says "another lie" is interesting, because that's implying that there are far many more than 1 or 2. Well, of course, the most obvious is the "Will you go with him and leave me behind ?" one. I don't think that she really places Stolas's lullaby as a lie - what i mean is that it's not a huge one -, because later in the song, she says it herself, "I will be okay". Even though it's difficult, she's strong enough to face it.

In my opinion, I think that she may have realised that something was wrong, long beforce the divorce and all. Because, first, she had kind of clues in Loo Loo Land. I'm thinking about this moment :

"She's always been... I haven't been... We weren't in..." Even if Stolas fails explaining to Via what's wrong with Stella, there are still words that call the attention. Especially the "always". It's not recent. Also, I think that Stella and Andrealphus' recent reactions may lead her to that point. Yes, Octavia can't even imagine what Stolas has endured with her mother for sure. Stolas never told her about their problems before. But she's not stupid, and I think she may suspect deeper problems. The "another lie" is a big package for all failed promises and non-told things.

And I must mention again that deep sigh again because it's so hurtful and doesn't fail represent her feelings 🥺💔

This place that used to be your home Would you call me on the phone ?Will I hear your voice in the middle of the night when I turn off the lights ? Or are you just another ghost ?  Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh

"When I turn off the lights" her voice is so pure and sweet when she sings high notes ✋️😔✨️ Again a cute reference to Loo Loo Land in that line, when she's calling Stolas in the middle of the night and he comes to confort her with the lullaby ❤️✨️

Using the word "ghost" was really to ripp our hearts, wasn't it ? 😭💔

And that BEAUTIFUL "OOOOoooOOOOooooh" SO MAJESTIC ❤️✨️ Like a scream. The grown sigh of the first verse, because she's starting to let it all out, it's taking more and more place. Barrett Wilbert Reed, my english is too bad to explain the amazing artist you are 🫵😔❤️✨️

How could you lie to my face ? And did our time mean nothing to you ? Were you bluffing all along ? That you would be there to see Yourself forgiven by me If you thought that I'd take it, you were wrong Oh, you were wrong

My my my, the way she sings that "all alooOOoong" is just amazing. And she has that kind of grungy voice just- sorry i'm just dying right now her voice is incredible 😭❤️✨️ Also the two "you were wroooOOOooong" are just killing me. You feel that she's angry. Because she feels abandoned, betrayed and because she feels like Stolas doesn't trust her enough to tell her clearly the things. And you feel that she's so in pain, so angry and so sad at the same time. The second "wrong" feels like a tear, you can almost hear a paper ripped in pieces 😭💔

Again we find all those stuff about the lies etc like before. Also, she wants to show that even tough she's hurt, she's strong enough to face it. But i will come to it in the chorus.

And when you're gone, I will be okay I will be okay, though I'll never be the same And I'll know that I was right to doubt you I'll grow without you, and you'll only know my name

The way she sings the two first line, so confident, is amazing. 💜✨️ And HERE, in her voice, even in the way she moves (her clenched fist), she shows that she IS strong. She's not anymore the little girl she was. She's confident. She assumes her pain, that Stolas' decision and hers will change her forever, but she will get up.

And that's clearly a thing that Stolas don't understand, and we see it by the way he talked about the divorce with her : he said nothing. Why ? He wanted to shelter her. Yes, as a parent, your role is to shelter you child. But comes a time where your child is old and mature enough to understand and bear tough subjects. And Via is totally ready to hear Stolas' story with Stella.

And when you're a child and your parents keep saying that you can't handle it, it's fucking horrible and make you so mad. And I know it by experience, as a divorced-parents-child. Aaah, the "It doesn't concern you, it's between your mother/father and I." Well, fuck you, because i'm the first victim of that fucking shitty relationship, I have the right to know what is happening. And Via must feel the same.

The way she sings the two last lines is so heartbreaking. 😭💔 You can feel that it comes from the deepth of her lungs. She's letting it out, all her pain, all her anger. Let it out my precious girl, let it out 🫶🏻😔❤️✨️ And her voice is so beautiful god, kinda grungy. It brings tears in my eyes everytime 🥺😭💔✨️

And, one of my three favourite lines, the most powerful one in my opinion : "I'll grow without you and you'll only know my name".

First, because it's just awful : they'll spend one hundred years without seeing each other. They have such a bond since the first day of her life. And all of this would be ruined. And it's just- so sad and hard that i can't hold my tears ✋️🥺

Second, because as a i'm-not-talking-to-my-father-child, it feels so relatable. I feel it so deep and so real. And i know that my fellows feel it also 🫵✨️

In short, I took the decision to not seeing/talking anymore to my dad for 4/5 years now. I just kept contact with my half-sister and my half-brother. He was a bitch to my mother all the time they spent together (it's really in short okay 😭) and in the year when they divorced (i was still talking to him), I barely saw him because he was going to see her girlfriend in another country (but like, ALL the weekends, of course he didn't sleep home, and when i called him he was not answering). We were close, but not that much, and i can say that during that year where i only saw him a little, I felt a distance. And then, when he threw my mother out, I choosed to not see him anymore. Recently, I've been to my sister's wedding (i was so fucking scared to go because i was terrified to see my grandmother again) and i saw him again. He didn't even come to say "hello" (i wasn't hurt don't worry, just suprised). And when I thought that yes, I'm a stranger to him now. Even if he loves me stil - which honestly i don't fucking know and i don't fucking care -, he doesn't know me anymore. He's missing the most important years of my life, where i changed a lot and i discovered completely myself, etc. Now, he doesn't know my tastes, my favourite colour, my friends, how i'm doing at school... He only knows my name.

And that's exactly what may happen between Stolas and Octavia. And the way she sings it makes it even more heartbreaking 💔

You always told me I'd be okay Well, I'll be okay, though I'm not okay today But my tears won't fall upon your shoulder I'll just get older and you'll only know my name

That verse. Her voice. So soft, so broken, so painful. Those sweet high notes with that soft guitar- my heart can't handle it 😭💔

The "though i'm not okay today" really shows her strength. She's not at her best now, and all those events have hurt her. But she will be okay. She will get back on het feet. She's brave enough and you feel the resilience and the confidence in her voice 💜🫶🏻✨️

My other favourite line : "But my tears won't fall upon your shoulder". With her voice, so soft, so sweet, so pure, reaching those lovely and painful high notes and the sound of her tears dropping. The line itself is just heartbreaking. You will no be here anymore to confort me, so I will find an other way to confort me on my own. You feel her pain 😭💔

And just to stab our hurt even more : "I'll just get older and you'll only know my name", always with that beautiful and heartbreaking voice 💔

I'm not going to talk about the animation because, well, that post is long enough and some people have already done that better than i would, but i put some screeshots here just for the pleasure :

Look how beautiful she is i love her so much 💜🫶🏻✨️

The animation is so sad with the "Or are you just another ghost ? OOOOoooOOOoooh" I sobbed while re-watching it 🥺😭

We don't talk enough about this part THE ANIMATION WAS INSANE LIKE MIND BLOWING ✨️✨️✨️ (it reminds me so much Just Look My Way, when Stolas holds the moon and the "camera" turns around him).

This song is amazing and so powerful. The voice, the interpretation, the instrumental, the references, the fact that it's a reponse to Stolas' Lullaby... I relate to it so much, and I'M PROUND to be represented by Via, my girl 💜🫶🏻✨️

"You will be okay", "I will be okay", you know what comes next : if they don't do a fucking duet when they'll make up, i swear i will put my city on fire. Bryce and Barrett have such amazing voice, and a duet will be just like a blessing - and the dead of us but don't worry, we will be okay 👌🏻✨️

[niteshade925]

The asswiping continues............

[pocketgalaxies]

isha's song got me CRYING FOR REAL FOR REAL

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

This Time: “Delinquent” Manga Picks!

Welcome back to “RUKI’s Yorozuya.” Welcome! (laughs) The cold days continue, and we’ve even had record-breaking heavy snowfall in Tokyo. For those living in northern regions, this might seem like nothing, but for Tokyo, as you can imagine, it was a big deal. Just between us, it’s made me like snow a little less, even though I usually love it. Meanwhile, the GazettE is currently in the middle of our fan club tour. If you’re coming, let’s meet at the venue! Now, for this edition of “RUKI’s Yorozuya,” I’ll be introducing… manga! (laughs) Not novels or art books, but manga! This time, I’ve chosen works under the theme of “delinquents.” It’s a bit of a niche selection, but if something catches your interest, I hope you’ll check it out!

RUKI'S FAVORITE COMIC BOOK

"Shonan Junai Gumi!" Vol. 15 「湘南純愛組!」

Written by Toru Fujisawa, Kodansha Manga Bunko, Kodansha, ¥660 (excluding tax)

If there’s one manga that served as my Bible during my student years, it’s this one. I don't think many girls read it, but I’m sure most of the boys from my generation have seen it? Most people probably know GTO (Great Teacher Onizuka), but this manga is essentially about Eikichi Onizuka’s high school days! While it has many comedic moments, the serious scenes really hit hard. Most of my band members have read it, so we often joke around using famous lines from the series (laughs). If you have the chance, I highly recommend checking it out. By the way, my favorite character is Junya Akutsu, known for his “metal-studded Martens.” Yeah, I guess I was too obsessed.

"BOY" Vol. 20 「BOY」

Written by Haruto Umezawa, Shueisha Bunko, Shueisha ¥600 (excluding tax)

I was completely hooked on this. While the story mainly revolves around delinquents, there’s a character named Makoto Ichijo who’s a guitarist. His special move is throwing picks, and the power is just insane (laughs). I bet any string instrument players who read this aspired to throw picks during their live performances like Ichijo. I honestly can’t count how many times I’ve read through this manga. As for my favorite character, it’s Kyō Kanzaki, a villain.

"Yamikin Ushijima-kun" Vol. 30 「闇金ウシジマくん」

Written by Shohei Manabe, Shogakukan

This is a recent series, and with the drama adaptation, I’m sure many have heard of it. I initially bought it at a bookstore just on a whim, but the content is so dark (laughs). You can guess from the title and the art style that it’s all about the dark side. The story focuses on people who get involved with loan sharks, but what’s interesting is that it also includes the perspective of the lenders. I’m always amazed at how they come up with so much material for this. It’s incredibly detailed and realistic. After finishing an issue, you’re guaranteed to feel a bad aftertaste, but that’s part of its charm.

"Shinjuku Swan" Vol. 3 「新宿スワン」

Written by Ken Wakui, Kodansha ¥552 (excluding tax)

This might be my favorite manga right now. Initially, it was a straightforward story about scouts, but as the plot progressed, the scouting aspect started to feel less relevant (laughs). It delves into the underground and back-alley worlds, but the characters are so well-developed and compelling that you can’t help but get more invested with each volume. This one is seriously entertaining, and I highly recommend it.

"Neurose Dancing" 「ノイローゼ・ダンシング」

Written by Yutaka Yamashita, Kodansha This manga is out of print and no longer available.

This is incredibly niche, and no one around me seems to know it (laughs). But it’s a manga that influenced me a lot. What influenced me? The protagonist Katsuro’s fashion! (laughs) Katsuro is a delinquent punk kid, so he’s got spiky hair, chains, and safety pins—the classic punk style—but wearing that with a school uniform?? That left quite an impression, and I even copied it. Looking back now, I cringe at my own painful attempts to mimic it during my school days (laughs). The story is essentially Katsuro versus everyone in the neighborhood (laughs).

Ruki's Column vol. 11 in Tsutaya Magazine 2014-04

[kavehpilled]

not even going to lie I love playing music so much it's genuinely the highlight of my day but being the only person in my entire section (2nd clarinets) that knows what his part is is not only infuriating but puts out that spark a little more every day

[neo--queen--serenity]

I need to stress how important it is that Jinx made that prosthetic arm for Sevika.

Jinx, for as long as the audience has known her, has only ever made inventions for her own personal use. She designs them in a way that is specific to her whims and interests, which gives the overall impression that no one should be using her creations without instructions. And they're made to suit her fighting style, which is why we don't see anyone close to her, like Silco, using them.

That prosthetic arm she designed for Sevika is quite possibly the first invention she's made that is purely and entirely for someone else to use. Jinx saw how Sevika mourned Silco, saw that her unrelenting loyalty for him still held layers of resentment and rage, but that she still grieved him anyway.

It's not coincidence that immediately after this encounter (during which she saw Sevika struggle to repair her old mechanical arm), Jinx creates this prosthetic for her, pouring all her creative innovation into it. She deliberately designs it as a gift in every sense of the word, wrapping it neatly into a bow like a present, for a woman who may or may not even be her ally anymore.

And the second Sevika puts it on, we see Jinx's trademark eccentricity, her wild colors, her manic machinations whirring to life. It's a sparkling, visual reminder of Jinx's affection on her body, a physical manifestation of her desire for Sevika to live and succeed. She gave the arm tricks, weapons, instruments of brutality--things we expect to see from her--but also music and fireworks, features that serve no purpose in combat other than making her smile.

We have never seen this from Jinx before, never seen her do something like this for someone else. When Sevika asks why Jinx made it for her, knowing the novelty for what it was, she'd simply responded with, "It was something I could fix."

It's no surprise that Sevika continues to protect Jinx aftewards. Whether Jinx was consciously aware of it or not, she had been openly declaring, "this is my ally; attack her and face my wrath."

[scribeofmorpheus]

Why Dragon Age Veilguard isn't a "Cathedral"

Concept art by Matt Rhodes

"To disinherit the storylines of past games goes directly against the notion of building cathedrals."

What is inherent with Veilguard that keeps bothering me is the fact that the world's choices truly didn't matter--and it doesn't simply bother me from a player perspective, it's not simply a grievance borne of frustration to what I (as a longtime fan) have lost. It's about the very culture of the arts under capitalism's new media habituation cycle [x][x].

Yes, I spent hours of my life playing and replaying each instalment of Dragon Age. Yes, I painstakingly curated a 'canon' world state by replaying what came before in preparation for Veilguard. Yes, I am even more unsatisfied with the end product--time hasn't helped, it's just widened the divide. But, and I can't stress this enough, these very personal gripes aren't what hit home the most. It's the inherent disregard of legacy. A legacy that the previous writers and game developers were building towards.

In the DAV artbook, "cathedral" is the word used to describe the process of making a game. Matt Rhodes' exact words are: "One artist can make a painting, but it takes a team to build a cathedral." Cathedrals took centuries to build. The architect who drafted the first blueprints would likely never see his work realised, he had to rely on those who came after him, like-minded and passionate, to see it through--for the culture, for the future, for legacy. Painters took on several apprentices for this reason too--giant frescoes were not completed by one man's hand, even if it is one man's name that immortalises them. Similarly, if you weave a narrative around choice, what good does it do to take it away at the final act if not to fall to caricature?

To disinherit the storylines of past games goes directly against the notion of building cathedrals.

Late-stage capitalism and profit-margin-obsessed game producers forcing developers to churn out meager content, to make a known brand into something it's not, to chase a fad or a popular trend... o, how reductive and cliche you've been forced to become Bioware. We have lost the cultural thought patterns relative to Cathedrals. We know only of barn-raised churches--done in a day but unlikely to last the turn of the seasons.

And don't even get me started on the music of Veilguard either. From Origins to World of Warcraft to Everquest to Baldur's Gate to Dungeon Siege, you can hear the intricate interconnected weave of sounds inspired by the Dungeons and Dragons-esque fantasy genre. You hear it in the repeated use of certain instruments, in the harmonic weeping notes of a bard-like singer or the foreboding echoes of drums as if of war. In tavern songs. But then, rather than hire someone who loves these worlds and this genre, who is a hungry artist looking to make a name, a legacy if you will, for themselves with a spectacular score, you hire any already sated composer, one well-into the encroaching years of career fatigue, whose notes repeat in countless projects, who feels less concise and more uninterested with each new project. One who has long since cemented his legacy. Someone in it for a paycheck and nothing else! And, to top it off, you let him compose something so minimalist? I am offended actually.

Cathedrals! We should have witnessed the final tile being placed on the Dragon Age cathedral. Instead, some architects walked up, tore down the interior and installed IKEA furniture and called it authentic before having to call the previous architects to come and fix the "load-bearing issues", forcing them to rush and add a coat of varnish and a few 'aged' details for authenticity.

[a-s-levynn]

Okay i'm gonna say it. And i genuinly do not mean this as a personal attack on anyone, simply as something to consider.

If what any given band decides to provide as content to their audience is not enough for you, try to get a hobby. Seriously. You are way too focused on one thing. We joke about being obsessed with stuff here but there is a fine line between fixation and unhealthy dependance.

Go read a book, watch a movie, pick up a series, start writing, learn to draw, start playing an instrument, go start skating, play a video game. Start collecting stamps if that's your thing. Anything. Literally anything. If you can't fill out your time with anything else but what one single band/artist/whatever gives you, you need to expand your horizon.

You can't expect literal strangers to give you anything they don't want to give, just because you are bored. And just think for a second, how much would you be willing to give up to entertain an audience, half of which can't even understand "please don't focus on our persons, listen to our music. all we have to give is in there." How much of your privacy would you be willing to sacrefice on the long run for people who don't even listen to what you say?

We've seen so many negative outcomes. Musicians literally been driven off of the internet by fans who couldn't get enough. Yes, Sleep Token is officially anonymous, but they already had so many breaches of their personal space even like this. They really do not need to give more ground to the so called "fans" who cannot respect and accept them as regular human beings.

The Sleep Token camp established from the get go what they give is what you get. Nothing more nothing less. And the crew and background people give exactly the behind the scenes content that the first anon says they would like to get. For example Thom Pike gave a lengthy interview on the FOH engineering. The techs of both IV and III gave rig rundowns. George Lever spoke a little about working with the Sleep Token project on multiple occasions. There have been collabs already, you just need to look for it. Live collabs by IV's with BMTH and Issues. Vessel tracking piano for BFMV years ago.

If this "side content" that the very much existing collabs or the crew provides is not filling that need for behind the scenes content, then again, it is something to think on why. Is it because it's "only" the crew and not the guys directly? Because if it is the reason, again, maybe rethink what you are saying.

Sleep Token is not a boyband. They are here to give their audience music not to be celebrities. They do not owe you, me or anyone anything. As musicians they only supposed to put out music to their best ability. Giving interviews and filming random videos for your or anyone's entertainment would take away time from what they could use for refining their next song or album.

I don't know about you, but i'd rather not hear an other word from any of them, if the next album is on the same level of quality as the previous was. And i'm saying that as someone who thoroughly enjoyes the Drumeo content II gave us. But he gave it because Drumeo is, at the end of the day, an educational platform. That interview mainly was not an entertainment piece. Because there is a difference.

I already feel like i talk about these things to much lately, but alas..

Idk if this will be controversial but the band’s secrecy makes me antsy sometimes.

I’m absolutely not implying anything about identities or the people behind the masks, but I wish to high heaven we got more content from them sometimes. BTS videos on the production process or live performances, magazine or video interviews, more covers or collabs or even solo performances like II did. Yknow, the stuff that other bands tend to do. I know there’s never going to be an increase in content like this but I can dream </3

It honestly has me conflicted. On the one hand I appreciate that it links to their concept and that in itself is something I love a lot, but on the other I just need MORE from them cause I love them too much T_T

.

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

[elierlick]

Tennessean trans man David Scott Ryan III transitioned in 1949, around age 26. He became a pastor in 1955 while passing as cis and preached throughout Arkansas and Oklahoma for years. Narratives like David's narratives don't often end well, but David successfully fought to live as a man! Here's his story:

Born in rural Oklahoma on 9/22/1923, David privately transitioned in 1949 before marrying his first known wife, chaplain Margie. He then married another woman named Gwyn after leaving Margie in 1953. He later married a third wife, Glenda, in 1960.

David was outed after his 1961 bigamy arrest. It's unclear if his bigamy was accidental or even real. Gwyn filed for divorce in March 1960 before he married Glenda in June, but documents do not show if the divorce was completed. Glenda filed the bigamy complaint herself for unknown reasons. Was it jealousy? Was David outed? Was she feeling neglected? Glenda did not speak with reporters.

David was far from the first trans man arrested for marrying a woman. Yet, the courts did not know what to do with him. The judge dismissed his case after 4 months of jail and he stayed out of the news for a decade.

There are countless cases like David Ryan in the mid-20th century- trans people who make the news for a few weeks before fading into history. However, thanks to new archive technology, we can trace David's story further. He re-married a woman named May Louise and they divorced in 1971. He then married for a 5th and final time to high school teacher Imogene Cox in 1975. He took up jobs at a construction equipment site and Walmart in Evansville, Indiana over the following decades.

David passed in 2002 from heart disease at age 78. The mortician must have insisted on using an "F" for David despite "M" appearing on his other documents (why?). Local news reported that David loved to play instruments and paint. 50 years after transitioning, he still worked with the church.

[sbcdh]

"You saw it?"

"For a second. Yeah. I saw one."

"Start at the beginning."

"Hoo. Okay. Uhhh... It was 77. I think. I was air force. Or, hypnoengineering support staff contracted to help out around St. Louis."

"That's how you came into your supply of JVH-1"

"It was JVH-11 actually, and yeah, the fuckin, uh- the requisitions officer at Scott was an old buddy of mine. We used to fuck around in college before I, you know-"

"Yes I understand."

"I worked records for Sears-Roebuck, I had all the accounting expertise, as well as a ready supply of LSD."

"How did you start?"

"Oh it was easy at first. Really just selling off phials of the new experimental stuff to finance guys. They'd go nuts for the stuff, pay top dollar for it too. Hell, I could get 100$ for a milliliter. Made it easy to keep my contacts bought in and re-invested. Honestly I don't think the req office would even know that we were skimming if they weren't in on it.

But, you know how it is with hypnoregulation. Transchronological market data is worth it's weight in diamond. It started with the odd photo of a 2q-week readout, then biometric data, then, uh- then. Well, we decided to try it ourselves."

"You attempted full sub-finantial emmanation?"

"No no god no, what're you nuts? No, see. We figured if one person can meld their brain with the market, we just had to get as close as we could to that guy, and mark the twain, hypnologically speaking."

"Mark the twain?"

"Yeah, see, okay. A plutophant in full emmanation isn't like us. We exist at a single point in time, an R1 rational market actor. But they exist in multiple points in time, back in 77, I think the government could hit R6 with that analogue tech. Most people can hit R2 with a single hit of JVH-1, with practice you can hit R3, but anything higher than R3 takes a pretty serious support team. But here's the thing, I had a whole cadre of co-implicated members of a military grade hypnoengineering support team. All we needed was the space."

"The warehouse. Schaeffer Marble and Tile was it?"

"Bingo. See here's the thing. You know why the government had to start building those special regulation temples? It's not just for security. Once you crack the R6 barrier, Plutophants start leaving what's called a wake. You know, like a fuckin, uh, like a boat. They're imperceptible to normal people, but if you have sensitive enough instruments or, say, a person in the edge of sub-market emmanation.

See the government didn't know at the time, but if you balanced the drugs just right, and kept someone right on the edge of R4, you could actually read the plutophant's interpretations by their wake rather than their direct neurofeedback. It's not nearly as precise, but if you have a good team and you know what to look for, you can get some really, really valuable market data that way."

"And your co-worker?"

"You mean Mills? Fuck. Yeah...Mills. Right."

"Take your time."

"No, no I'm good. It's... It's uh, It's dangerous. Brains aren't meant to take that much JVH-11 all at once. We could stay on R4, but what we didn't have was a recovery team, or a medical team, or recon team. It was me, Mills, Israel, Connaught, and Marsh. The five of us were the only ones in the soup. Bruso was running the machines and Lasker was monitoring the readout."

"Can you tell us what happened?"

"Yeah. Yeah. It was a normal intrusion. Hypnogrid emmanation is pretty simple with our tech and support. Sedation was all green, hypnoinduction was green. Smooth as silk. Landed about 40 minutes from our work location. We had the codes from the IRSAW people that morning, all we had to do was maintain hypnoinduction for 40 minutes while traversing the colon and we'd be able to-"

"I'm sorry, colon?"

"Oh come on. Colon. Collective Unconscious. Col-Un. Colon."

"I- of course. Continue."

"Hey, have you ever been on a dive before?"

"Can we focus on your statement?"

"It's important. I need to know if this next bit is gonna make sense to you or not."

"I've undergone basic anti-intrusion training standard for IRS investigation task force officers."

"So you've done safe dives. White room? Castle training? Putting up the wall? All that jazz?"

"That's correct."

"Did they ever tell you why it's dangerous to perform off-site hypnoincursion in meta-unstsble hypnospace?"

"They did."

"Well they're lying...don't look at me like that. I'm not bullshitting you. They're lying...there's...there's shit out there okay? There's things out there."

"Mills?"

"Yeah. Mills. Uh..."

"Take your time."

"Yeah yeah. Quit interruptin me. Mills... Uh, yeah so we were T-Plus 30 into the dive. Bruso gives us a heads up that some hypnoflora is headed our way, but can't get a read on mass. Says we should steer clear, but we are so close. Israel had handled some hypnoflora before, so we weren't worried. But it was... I dunno. I can't explain."

"Do your best."

"Like. Okay. Meta-unstsble dives are fucked. They're acid trips. The St. Louis hypnoscape already doesn't look normal, but Scott Base looked like some kinda bastard lovechild of a medieval castle and a seashell, all twisting up into itself. The streets were a chessboard, and all the streetlights we're these tall kinda mannequin lookin' things holding a tiny sun in their hand. Everything is fucked, it's all topsy turvy. But it's okay, because it's meta-unstable hypnospace, its not SUPPOSED to be normal. And then there was a Red Sock."

"Like for the feet?"

"No. Like. In the middle of this fucked up dreamscape, there's suddenly a batter for the Boston Red Sox. He's standing there, maybe 50 feet away. He's got a bat in one hand and a mitt in the other, and he's just kinda walking towards us. Nobody really knew what to do. It didn't look dangerous, but something wasn't right. It didn't fit. We just kinda stood there, looking at the thing. Israel starts talking to Bruso, asking him what to do. Suddenly, Bruso is screaming at us, telling us to book it. He's screaming into the com, telling us to prepare for de-emmanation. Nobody knows what's happening. Israel is suddenly standing between Mills and the Red Sock, and..."

"Any information you can recall could be of use."

"It's...it's mostly feeling at this point. You ever been having a normal dream? Like, a good, normal dream? And suddenly you realize that something is really, really wrong? There's signs. For me? It's that the lights go out. Suddenly day turns to night, and something about this batter just makes me want to curl up and hide. Suddenly, moving through the world is like trying to swim through molasses. I try to run, but nothing moves, and everything is dark. The world is shifting. There's shadows under the bathroom door that can't be happening. A man who looks like Jesus. An old and terrible house and an old man with no name whose face I can't remember. The batter swings at Mills and she just...vanishes. Shes gone. Bruso pulls us out a second later."

"So this, batter killed Ms. Mills?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. We get out, she's comatose. Whatever that thing did to her, she was still in hypnospace. I gave her a hot shot of barbiturates. Her brain activity slowed to R0 after about 90 seconds."

[hairmetal666]

They start kissing on stage as a joke.

The night before the first time, they're at an afterparty, pounding shots, and Eddie is reading aloud a piece that just came out in Rolling Stone. "'One of the most noteworthy parts of Munson and Harrington's unlikely pairing is their chemistry on stage. It's like these two men--one on his way to being the latest metal god, the other an indie rock wunderkind--are two parts of one musical whole. Their singing, their playing, even their bodies twine and flow with assuredness; where one goes, the other follows without question. They share a single brain-cell and that cell is music'."

Steve giggles, pours some more Grey Goose into the glass. "If they say that now, could you imagine what would happen if we, like, kissed on stage or something."

"What the fuck, Harrington?" Eddie splutters, having just thrown a drink back.

"I don't know, other bands do it!"

Eddie snorts. "I'm cutting you off." He reaches for the bottle and the suggestion is forgotten for wrestling over the liquor.

Steve barely remembers it in the morning. Doesn't think about it at all as he gets ready to go out on stage.

They're playing one of the instrumental breakdowns when it happens. They're leaning into each other, Eddie smiling over his shoulder at him, their eyes locked, bodies moving together. "You wanna?" Eddie mouths at him.

Steve nods before the question actually registers and by then Eddie's warm, soft mouth is against his and he just-- completely forgets what he's doing. His hands still on the guitar strings, and he melts a little, going completely boneless when Eddie grips the back of his head, pulls him deeper into the kiss. t's over almost as quickly as it started, Eddie pulling away and swirling to the mic to start the next verse.

The kiss sinks into Steve's bones, and that's before it becomes a regular feature of their performances. After that night, they're never at the same time during the show, all initiated by Eddie, all over before he can catch his breath; each one chaste and surrounded by people but somehow more intimate than any make out.

He and Eddie, they're friends, bandmates, collaborators. They've known each other since they first started out, forging an immediate connection with they stumbled upon each other hiding out in the garden at some industry bigwig's party. And as much as he loved his friend, never once in that time had Steve considered wanting Eddie.

But now, now he falls asleep with the ghost of Eddie on his lips, goes into each show with a thrum of anticipation, catches himself thinking how beautiful his friend is when he's all rumpled and disheveled from a night in the tour bus bunks.

They've always been easy with physical affection, but once the kissing starts they're constantly in each other's space, idly playing with hair, laying across laps, heads on shoulders, twisting together on the tour bus couch. Steve is ruined with every touch, every moment; he can't get enough.

The first time Eddie uses tongue destroys every last piece of Steve's composure. They've added a new song to the setlist, a remixed version of Eddie's hit "Prince Charming". It's hard, heavy, sexy, one of Steve's favorites. And in the middle of it, right in the middle, Eddie shoves him against a low platform, kisses him like he's trying to own him, tongues twining eager and wet and full of sinful promise. It's like that every show after, Eddie kissing him deep and thorough, like he's trying to lick up every drop of Steve.

He is, unquestionably, fucked. Unquestionably falling. Can't properly fathom how he'd gotten himself here, desperate for Eddie's kiss, as performative as it may be.

They're packing up equipment after a show. Eddie's hair is piled in a messy bun and Steve is trying not to blatantly stare at the curve of his neck, the stray curls against his pale skin. Eddie's gesturing at something, says, "Can you grab those cords, swee--Steve?" He hands them over without thought, notices that Eddie's face is shining red. He's called away to deal with packing the guitars, forgets all about it, but at their next show, Eddie doesn't kiss him.

They don't talk about it.

Eddie doesn't try to kiss him again.

A week after Eddie stops the kiss, they have a night off between shows. He needs to get out of his head, goes out with Robin. He gets back fairly early, but all the lights are off in the bus. It makes him panic in a way it shouldn't; they've always done their own things. Still, he rushes on board, flips on the lights, his absurd heart beating too hard.

Eddie is curled up on the couch, face pressed to the pillows and covered with his hands. The panic kicks up a notch.

"Eddie?" He steps closer, slowly reaching out to grip Eddie's shoulder.

He jerks upright, earbuds slipping free, phone sliding down his hip. "Steve?"

His face is wet, tears actively slipping free from his eyes as Steve watches.

"What happened? Are you hurt?" His hands flutter around Eddie's arms and face, searching for bruises or wounds.

"I'm fine, Harrington," he chokes out. "Though you were out with Robin?"

"Yeah, I was, but Chrissy called. You know how useless she gets. But that doesn't--you--you're crying. What's wrong?"

Eddie's smile is a wobbly little thing, refusing to stick on his face. "Oh, you know, the usual. Fell for the wrong guy."

Steve forces down the gut churning hurt at hearing that Eddie's in love with someone, intent on comforting his friend. He tries to slip his arm around Eddie's shoulders, but Eddie shrugs him off. It jostles Eddie's phone again, slipping it toward Steve and activating the screen. He has a split second where he's looking at the cover of his own first album, before Eddie's snatching it out of reach, scrambling up from the couch.

"I'm fine." He swipes his sleeve over his face. "It's nothing."

And Steve is putting it all together, the being in love and listening to Steve's music, the kissing and how it ended.--

"Eddie." He sounds all wrong, choked and garbled.

Eddie doesn't turn around, is stuffing his feet into his boots. "I'm--I gotta go clear my head."

He walks towards the door and Steve just--"I've been obsessed with you since the first kiss," he says. Eddie stops, hand curled against the door. "We've been friends all this time and I didn't--I never realized. And then we kissed and--it's all I've been able to think about."

Eddie turns then, facing him, expression unreadable."Steve, what are you--"

"I love you. I'm in love with you." It comes out fast, all jumbled, but he can't stand Eddie leaving, not now.

"You--?" Eddie blinks, bites his lip. "That's not possible."

Steve smiles, can't help it. "It is, though. Turns out, I can't get enough."

Their eyes lock; neither speaks. Steve's heart pounds so hard it might spring free of his chest. Eddie moves first, crosses the small distance between them to pull Steve into his arms.

It's not a kiss, but Steve buries his face against Eddie's neck, breathing him in, feeling the echo to the pound of his own heart. "How long?" Steve asks.

Eddie's soft laugh vibrates through him. "Since I saw you walking in that garden and thought, 'jesus christ, Prince Charming is real'."

Steve pulls away to stare at Eddie in disbelief. "But that's--your--the song?"

"They're kinda all about you, Stevie. But that one most of all." Eddie whispers. His eyes glisten.

"Fuck, Eddie." He doesn't mean to whine, but he's not in control of his voice anymore. "I'm sorry I didn't--" He shakes his head. "I'm all yours, Ed. Whatever you want."

Eddie's thumb catches against Steve's bottom lips, eyes transfixed on his mouth. "Everything, sweetheart. I want it all."

[ambrosiagourmet]

Little details from Falin's (final) resurrection that I love:

when they say that they will need to rebuild her lower body, they seem to mean it pretty literally. There are scalpels and other surgical instruments on the table nearby, and that part is left to the elves to lead due to the difficulty. I wonder what kind of mix of magic and physical skill is needed to repair and recreate a body like that.

Both Laios and Marcille contribute mana to help bring her back...

but we don't get to hear exactly what they say. Those words are left for them and them alone.

During Falin's meal, the little dragon is hungry too...

so she shares her meal with it.

Though Falin's dress is whole when we first see it, after she consumes the dragon meal, the bottom of it begins to fray in a way that resembles the veins we see being reconstructed with her body while she eats.

three just in this set of panels - the bowl is there because she's been sleeping for some time (days?? weeks???) and they have been feeding her.

Marcille chewing on her sleeve while she sleeps.

And the fact that Izutsumi was holding vigil right alongside the rest of them.

Laios just talking to & then hugging Falin right over Marcille.

Speaking of the wait - how long was it? They'd almost given up?? They must have waited so long for her to wake up, sleeping right next to her bed the whole time.

The cuddle pile..... Falin looks so (lovingly) annoyed bless her.

This absolutely brutally dark joke that literally only could have come from Chilchuck. Holy shit buddy ^^;;

Somewhat relatedly, Senshi making sure to mention the curry that they used to lure in & kill her. Note Marcille's face in the background.

Izutsumi having waited there the whole time, but still being shy. Plus how she hides behind Laios. Truly the cat of all cat girls.

This line from Marcille kind of seems like its her being overly protective of Falin (as she was after the first resurrection), until you realize that...

It's probably more because she knows there is a big crowd outside and Falin is still in a nightgown.

Other small details in this part:

Embarrassed Shuro averting his gaze, while Kabru keeps trying to snoop even after Marcille pulls Falin back inside (snoopy Namari too, though she's a little more justified than him)

Senshi & Chilchuk go off together to make food, while Izutsumi (grumpily) accepts a proper introduction.

Wherever they got this outfit & cloak for Falin, they also seem to have shared similar ones ones with...

Laios, Chilchuck, and Yaad. I think its cute that they look like they either bought a bunch of similar cloaks, or were provided them as gifts.

And, of course,

This smile C:

[neil-gaiman]

Hi! RE: your journal about the right for lolicon fiction to exist even if you disapprove of it, would you say it can also exist for titillation purposes, or do you stand by it for artistic reasons, or for the purpose of exploring dark themes only? I always thought you were saying the former, but I just wanted to ask. It's chill if you don't wanna answer this. Have a good day!

Here we are, 15 years on from that blog entry, and I still haven't read any lolicon, I'm afraid, so I have no idea about its themes. The context was whether you should be sent to prison for owning lolicon. What I said back then was,

In this case you obviously have read lolicon, and I haven't. I don't know whether you're writing from personal experience here, and whether you have personally been incited to rape children or give inappropriate hugs by reading it. (I assume you haven't. I assume that Chris Handley, with his huge manga collection, wasn't either. I've read books that claimed that exposure to porn causes rape, but have seen no statistical evidence that porn causes rape -- and indeed have seen claims that the declining number of US rapes may be due to the wider availability of porn. Honestly, I think it's a red herring in First Amendment matters, and I'll leave it for other people to argue about.) Still, you seem to want lolicon banned, and people prosecuted for owning it, and I don't. You ask, What makes it worth defending? and the only answer I can give is this: Freedom to write, freedom to read, freedom to own material that you believe is worth defending means you're going to have to stand up for stuff you don't believe is worth defending, even stuff you find actively distasteful, because laws are big blunt instruments that do not differentiate between what you like and what you don't, because prosecutors are humans and bear grudges and fight for re-election, because one person's obscenity is another person's art.

Because if you don't stand up for the stuff you don't like, when they come for the stuff you do like, you've already lost.

[steddieas-shegoes]

pop goes metal

for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'alternate universe'

rated t | 964 words | cw: language | tags: famous corroded coffin, pop star steve harrington, flirting, getting together

🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤

"No fuckin' way are we working with him," Eddie argues with their manager. "You're always so worried about our image and then you go and have us doing a song with a fuckin' pop artist?"

The manager, Anthony, rolls his eyes. "It'll broaden your fanbase. You know who spends money on shit? Women. You know who likes Steve Harrington? Women."

"Does he even write his own shit?" Gareth asks.

"Does it matter?" Eddie turned to him with a glare. "Even if he writes it, it's not our style."

"Maybe we could at least hear what he's trying to work with us on?" Jeff, always the calming presence, asked towards Anthony.

"He sent over a sample before we sign any agreements."

Eddie sat down in the chair furthest from everyone else, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Now, this isn't an official recording. Just what he did on his phone on his tour bus with his acoustic guitar. He arranged the bass already for Frankie, too, but said he's open to whatever Gareth feels is right for the drums." Anthony pressed play on his phone and the room was filled with strumming and a surprisingly raspy voice singing what was clearly a chorus.

Eddie could pretend he hated it, and maybe the guys would agree with him and they'd never have to speak of this again.

He couldn't hide his reaction fast enough, though.

His jaw dropped as he listened to the lyrics, surprised to find that they weren't just about going to a club and dancing or being in love.

Steve's voice broke at the end before there was shuffling and the recording stopped.

Eddie felt everyone's eyes on him. He closed his mouth and looked down at the floor, tapping his fingers against his arm.

"It's not bad," he finally said. "Not sure why he needs us, though."

"Apparently, his brother is a huge fan of you and suggested he try to work with you."

"I think we should do it." Jeff said, a note of finality in his tone that Eddie knew he wouldn't try arguing with.

"Yeah, can't hurt." Frankie shrugged.

"If he's giving me creative freedom on the drums, how can I say no?" Gareth smirked.

"Guess we're working with the pop diva, then."

****

Steve Harrington was nothing like what they expected.

He showed up to their studio in sweats and glasses, holding a tablet and a bottle of Tylenol. They started to introduce themselves as he found a spot on the couch.

"I'm really glad you guys were willing to work with me," he said after he shook everyone's hand.

Eddie stared.

"My uh, my brother, Dustin, he's kinda why I wrote this song and I know it means a lot that you agreed to be on it," Steve continued. "So, thanks. Hopefully it doesn't ruin your vibes or anything."

Eddie felt every wall he built crumbling with every word Steve spoke. God dammit, this man just had to be sincere and hot and talented, didn't he?

"Nah, we're gonna sound great together." Eddie smiled at Steve's wide-eyed look. "You wanna show us the whole song?"

Steve nodded, pulling something up on his phone. Another recording, this one more professional and included an electric guitar.

"Robin was the stand in for the electric while I did bass."

"So you can play bass?" Frankie asked, leaning in.

"Yeah, but my preferred instrument is piano. I just don't do a lot of slow songs. Guitar is what gets the women interested, or so they tell me," Steve smiled awkwardly. "But feel free to change some things up. I'm totally open to suggestions."

But really, it was damn near perfect as it was. Frankie made one tweak during the bridge, but Steve ended up loving it more than the original and told him so with a grin.

"You're a fuckin' genius!" He exclaimed.

Gareth started messing around on the drums while Steve and Eddie worked on the first couple of lines.

"Something still doesn't feel right," Steve mentioned.

"Maybe we change the rhyming pattern?" Eddie suggested. "You've got ABAB. Might work better to do AABB. Some of these words can be moved around to make that work."

Steve stared at the notes app for a moment, then looked back up at Eddie, beaming smile making his eyes squint.

"I could kiss you!" He shouted. As soon as he realized what he said, he blushed, looking back down at the phone. "I mean, thanks. That's a great suggestion."

Eddie searched Steve's face, coming to the conclusion that there was probably a good reason why Steve didn't care about what women liked when it came to his music.

"I have a pretty strict rule about kissing people I work with," Eddie said slowly, quietly so they wouldn't be overheard.

"Yeah, no, that makes sense. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or-"

"But we won't be working with each other for long, right?" Eddie continued, letting his hand rest on Steve's thigh. God, he was muscular.

"Um. No I guess not."

"Rain check, then. Until we've finished our professional relationship." Eddie couldn't believe he was suggesting this. Showing interest in a pop star. What's next? Dating one? Marrying one?

"Are you saying you wanna kiss me, Munson?" Steve suddenly sounded more confident.

"I'm saying we've got work to do before I can get my hands on you." Eddie tapped his thigh before pulling away. "So let's get to it."

"Dude! I got it!" Gareth yelled, interrupting their moment.

"Be right there!" Steve yelled back, not looking away from Eddie. "Might break a record for fastest recording time ever just so I can kiss you," Steve added quietly to Eddie before standing and walking over to Gareth.

"Well, fuck." Eddie sighed, smiling to himself.

[blade-liger-4ever]

Why I think Miko Nakadai is arguably the best human character in TFP

Don't misunderstand, I know Miko was handled haphazardly throughout the series' run. That said, aside from her skipping off into the battlefield, she was actually a great character - and, in my personal opinion, the actual audience surrogate character in TFP.

Now, let me explain.

Although Miko's backstory is told and not shown - a rich daughter who had everything she could ever want, up to and including two pure-breed cats and piano lessons from age three onwards (which, coincidentally, tells us she's brainy despite her antics) - much can be inferred from what snippets of her past we get, along with her interactions with the Autobots. For one, she obviously can't stand most adult supervision, which is likely because of a few things. For one, back home in Japan, Miko would have had to be proper and polite, always restrained, and had to do what she was told. While this is normal (to an extent) in the West, in the East this is etiquette that needs to be obeyed, especially if you're as well off as she is; her actions, specifically in Japan, will reflect on her parents, but to a far lesser extent in America. Thus, when presented with the freedoms of the USA, Miko not only jumps at the chance for an exchange program that will give her the mobility she craves, she also chooses the place that has the least amount of glamor. By extension of choosing to settle in Jasper, Miko's also displaying two other traits: she's not afraid of going to a place vastly different from her home, and she isn't disgusted by a small town with very little monetary value to it.

Secondly, Miko's disregard for authority from adults but deference to the 'Bots teases us with an insecurity - namely, an insecurity that no adult ever gives her a chance to make her own decisions.

Just think about it: All the times Miko's blown off the human adults, it's when they've tried to decide her life for her. Miko has, from what we can see, had her whole life dictated, up to and including those piano lessons. She may be a prodigy at almost everything, but her preferred instrument is the guitar - and yet, she wasn't given lessons in that from the time she was a toddler. Therefore, she feels confined and controlled by the authority of her elders. And so, while Miko may be able to sway Bulkhead into getting her out of detention and consistently slip past the watchful eyes of the 'Bots, it's out of a desperate motivation to control her own life. Now, she does hold too much interest in the battles and getting to watch them, but wouldn't you have that same eagerness if Gundams or Jaegers came to life before your eyes? Yes, she knows their lives are in danger, that they couldn't come home, but there's still a fantastical element to all of this about the Autobots. And it remains so because while she loves them all, Bulkhead is the only one who, while giving her life advice and trying to keep her in check/alive, lets her make her own decisions and take control of her life and her actions.

And that's why she keeps going to the field. That's why she only listens to the reprimands with half an ear and why she recovers so fast from Optimus' near death experiences, as well as Raf's close call with death.

And that's why Miko's world shatters when Bulkhead is left in a half-dead coma from his fight with Hardshell. Because the one person in the universe who gave her freedom and care without deciding her life for her was not just seriously injured, but possibly on death's door.

That's why Miko runs around without a care until the S2 episode "Hurt": because she wants autonomy to decide her life, even if it's stupid choices that could get her killed.

And after "Hurt", we see a new Miko. Yes, she remains gung-ho and fierce, but she stops running onto the battlefield. She takes less enjoyment from the War. Because now, with the reality of war fresh in her mind, she knows the risks and the stakes involved, and she will never take that or her friends for granted anymore. This is further proved when Miko 'sneaks' along for "Chain of Command", but with a twist: she asks Wheeljack if she can come along - and if memory serves, this is the first mission Bulkhead's been on with herself present since the events before "Hurt". Clearly, Miko is still worried about losing Bulkhead - only, this time, she values the words of the 'Bots, and now seeks permission to join a mission, though she wisely asks Wheeljack for this blessing.

This is the beautiful part of her arc, crowned by her battle with Starscream and his Seekers (which is also just straight up awesome.) When she's kicked the afts of everyone, and Starscream tries to intimidate her with his usual "I killed Cliffjumper" speech, Miko's response is this calm, slightly rough, retort:

"Big whoop. I snuffed Hardshell."

In this moment, Miko Nakadai is shown to have grown from an excitable child into an unyielding, but mature, adult warrior. She no longer treats the War and the 'Bots like a game, or a release. She treats them as her friends who she will gladly risk her own life for.

And that, in my opinion, makes her the best human protagonist in all of Transformers: Prime, and Transformers media in general.

As for what I said earlier about her being the true audience surrogate, be honest with yourselves: If any of us were given the chance to meet the Autobots, wouldn't you be just as irrepressible as Miko, as eager to help as she was, and tempted to go to the battlefield to see the action/make sure your 'Bot wasn't going to die? That's what I mean when I say she's the audience surrogate - Miko acts like we would, and learns as we would about the War and the 'Bots if we suddenly came across them.

That's my two cents on Miko, and why she's the human character I respect the most in Transformers...probably of all time. If you liked it, I'm glad; Miko deserves better, and I hope I explained why well.

Til next time, folks!

"Autobots, transform!"