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My only take on this show is that you can tell that the actor from My Lady Jane, horse boy, he knows how to kiss irl.
#I fear I do need to kiss him LITERALLY for science#that technique? my good sir that is a 10/10 all across the board#what superb work you did#also what a crime it is to cancel such a good show#like Amazon Prime just met Netflix levels of stupidity#this is a cancellation i do not get#that show was everywhere#My Lady Jane#MLJ#jane grey#Guildford Dudley#and whatever their shipname is
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hey so MMA can you talk about it? Idk I’m interested in it! How long have you been doing it for/how does it work(sorry for the dumb questions hehe)
No not a dumb question I love talking about it.
But in all honesty I did quit I think 3 years ago (because the division of the MMA studio I went to got shut down and they had to move us to another studio and I didn’t like it there) anyway. Every MMA studio is different but I can talk about my experience.
I did MMA (or we usually just call it karate most of the time) for about 8-9 years? Basically, you start out with white belt (of course) and every few months or so you would get to test for your next belt. To train for that next belt there were 4 things you were tested on: each belt had it’s own specific 1) form 2) one-steps 3) ju-jitsu 4) and board break.
A form is a really cool looking sequence of moves you that you have to memorize. (they’re really cool, look up karate forms on Youtube if you want some examples). Each belt has 1 form that goes with it.
A “one step” is basically a mulitstep move (i know the name is misleading) that is essentially exibiting how one would respond if some steps and punches at you. They could be as simple as blocking the punch with one arm and then (mining, not actually hitting them) punch, punch, palmstrike; or as advanced as hip-tossing them to the floor or grabbing their arm, swinging underneath it and then (safely) choking them from behind. Each belt has 2 one-steps you need to master.
The ju-jitsu...(idk what noun im supposed to add to this, sequences? sure let’s go with that) The ju-jitsu sequences are a lot like one steps, where u practice one technique, but they’re on the floor (the art of ju-jitsu is a type of knee-wrestling martial art). These could vary from how to get out from being pinned a certain way, to learning one choke or arm lock. Each belt has 1-2 ju-jitsu moves you need to master.
And lastly, boardbreaks. one of the most hyped up parts, and the last part of test day. It’s pretty self explanatory, you are assigned a move you must be able to break a wooden board with. But the boards do vary in thickness, especially for the little kids. (Also i know i said you’re assigned one move, but actually when ur testing for ur black belt u have to do four, but i’ll explain black belt testing in a bit) However, you should never try to break a board by just straight punching it like they do in the movies (and some other martial arts but idk how they do it there) you could damage your fingers that way.
In between practicing all of that we also do knee-wrestling, sparing, and practicing technique.
The regular testing is just an hour or so where ur family watches u do all the things listed above. But black belt testing is way different
Black Belt Testing
Ik this is a relatively small part of karate but I found it really important when I did it, and it’s a three day process, so I want to talk about it. But also if I remember correctly I’m technically not legally allowed to talk about it in this much detail so please don’t share this around too much
Black belt testing only happens once a year, and the training process is very extreme and lasts from August until the test in November. And well, the mantra for black belt testing is “someone will bleed, someone will cry, and someone will throw up,” and they really aren’t exaggerating.
First , you have to do running and push-ups nearly every day. You are required to run at least a mile outside of class once every three days, and I think 50 pushups (or as many as you can do, on ur knuckles, without dropping to ur knees) every day (they give you a log to keep track of this).
You also have to get up every Saturday morning for a special black-belt candidates only class. During that class they usually have you start with running three miles (to be able to pass testing you have to be able to run 3 miles in 30 minutes, and you arent allowed to walk at all while running those 3 miles)
AND you have to do 10 “acts of kindness” outside of class and log them, because “being a black belt isnt just about having the belt, its about showing the respect, politeness, etc. of a black belt.”
And that’s just the prep, if you can survive that then you actually get to test. The testing itself is a 3 day event, two are held in private and the last day is a ceremony for family to watch. If I remember correctly this is how these days play out:
First day: private testing. It happens on a Saturday morning, adrenaline’s high. We start off with warm up, listen to the head instructors speech about how this isnt going to be easy and how proud he is that we’re here, do line drills (preforming one move over and over again while walking in a line across the room), and then do our form, one steps, and ju-jitsu sequences for the instructors. There are also plenty of sets of push ups randomly thrown in (they say that during all the test days combined you are required to do at least 500 push ups). Push ups are also randomly dealt to the class if someone doesnt say “Yes sir” or “yes ma’am” loud enough, if we are being in any way disrespectful, etc.
Second day: The hard one (imo). This happens a week after the first test. After warm up we put on our shoes and then walk across the street to the track, we get yelled at (sometimes encouragingly) during our run, and I, in typical me fashion, end up throwing up (yes this happened both times). We then have to do knuckle pushups on the concrete. (yay.) After you’re sweaty and tired from that you get to spare! You have multiple rounds of sparing, some of them with tall adults you dont know, and honestly just try to survive. After that we move on to knee wrestling, more pushups, and then the day is over.
The Third Day: The ceremony. If you’ve made it this far you will very likely receive your black belt, the third day is really just for show. This is held in the Sunday after the second test. Instead of the karate studio it’s held in a really nice gymnasium and all your family is there to watch. You’ve been assigned a place to stand and have done practice runs because everything has to be perfect. You start of with warm up, making sure to tell yes sir and yes ma’am as loud as you can and stand up in attention as straight as possible (which u can imagine was very hard for me /j) when instructed. Then you do line drills again, your form, a round or 2 of sparing, and then the hard part. The big build up: board breaks. Each board is actually 2 boards tapped together and u have to break 4 sets of them and then you can finally relax. (I cried both times because I wasn’t able to break them quickly). Then they hand u ur certificate and u have to awkwardly shake all the adults hands. Then they dismiss everyone and u did it!
I know I’ve painted a lovely picture of the MMA/Karate experience but honestly it is really fun. It’s an amazing adrenaline rush, it helps you feel a sense of accomplishment, and going through all this with peers builds really good friendships. It was such a fun journey and I really do recommend it for anyone who wants to try it out. I learned so much and my time there really shaped me as a person and it was just so good. Honestly I wish I could do it again.
I’m so sorry this post is so long but I mean u did tell me to just talk about it so I gave you all the details you could have wanted.
#Em!!#not tagging this with topical tags because I don’t want people to see this#ask#long post#also I wrong this at midnight please excuse any incoherent rsd#I did not type ‘rsd’?? what happened there?
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The Best & Worst of 2017
It has been a WEIRD year. Nintendo’s dominating the video game scene again, the seemingly eternal presence of Adam West is no more, Taylor Swift somehow got even bitchier, DC finally made a good movie, and they let a chimp in a suit into the White House again (you think they would have learned their lesson after Reagan). But we’re not here to look at the world in a broad sense, no; we’re here to take a look at movies, because that’s what I do. And let me tell you… This was a fine year for films.
You often see people say years like 1999 or 1939 were the peak years for cinema, but after this year, I’ve gotta say 2017 is my favorite year in cinematic history. Let me put it this way: The list of movies here was originally a top 20. In fact, I only saw a handful of movies I’d say were genuinely bad this year. At least 6 of the movies I saw are easily in my top 25 films ever made, and even my favorite movie ever came out this year. So yeah, this year was FUCKING AWESOME for movies.
Now, there were some really tough cuts, so let me give a few honorable mentions before we dive into the top 10 films: Spider-Man: Homecoming, the best Spider-Man movie in a decade with perhaps the most compelling villain in the MCU; Get Out, Jordan Peele’s racially-charged horror film that deals with condescending positive discrimination and other kinds of left-wing racism, and is one of the strongest directorial debuts I’ve ever seen; Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie, the long awaited finale to the adventures of Arnold Shortman, and a truly satisfying one to boot; Kingsman: The Golden Circle, a kickass sequel with a great turn by Sir Elton John of all people; and Power Rangers, a very character driven sci-fi movie that has a rather slow pace but still manages to ooze heart and charm. And those are just the ones I really wanted to spotlight; there are quite a few other movies I enjoyed this year.
Now, on to the first list!
TOP 10 MOVIES OF THE YEAR
10. Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie
TRA-LA-LAAAAAAAAA! Dreamworks finally delivers the film we’ve been waiting for for years, and it’s every bit as good as we could have hoped. Combining the best elements of the first four books was a great idea, as it allows for much more interesting character interactions, character development, and concepts, not to mention the franchise’s best villain (Professor Poopypants) gets to show up early. Pray we get a sequel, because the creativity showcased here cannot be squandered! We need more of the Waistband Warrior!
9. Baby Driver
You know, in light of everything that happened this year, is it really right to place so high a movie in which a character played by Kevin Spacey takes in a young boy and tries to control him into being a criminal? Yeah. It is. This is a damn good film, with some truly great Mickey Mousing and an excellent soundtrack, as well as fantastic performances across the board. It’s one of the least Edgar Wrighty films in Wright’s filmography, and all the better for it.
8. Wonder Woman
Is this the perfect, ultimate superhero movie? Hell no. Does it finally break the DCEU trend of crappy final villains? Um, nope. Is it an uplifting, hopeful, optimistic superhero movie with an idealistic, badass protagonist, a solid supporting cast, and an interesting setting? Fuck yes it is. Wonder Woman fans can rest easy that she got the treatment she deserved on the silver screen.
7. Logan
Rarely has a movie that is just so bitterly depressing from the get-go been so damn good. Hugh Jackman and Sir Patrick Stewart turn in their (possibly) final performances as Wolverine and Professor X, and by god what performances they give. But they face some seriously steep competition in the acting department from Dafne Keen, the newcomer playing Laura, Logan’s ‘daughter’ after a fashion. This is easily the best X-Men film ever made aside from Deadpool, and definitely the best serious one.
6. Star Wars: The Last Jedi
You know that one friend you have who just pisses you off to the point you want to punch their teeth out, yet at the end of the day you still love and appreciate them and they’re still your friend for life? That’s basically what this movie is. It does SO much aggravating, frustrating bullshit, tosses out so many potentially interesting plot points, wastes so much potential… but on the other hand, it delivers some of the most stunning moments in the entire saga, the best performance yet from Mark Hamill, a bunch of interesting surprises, and lets Kylo Ren and Rey come into their own. Never before have I loved a film I hate so much of.
5. Thor: Ragnarok
I never in my life thought I would enjoy a Thor movie. Historically speaking, Thor’s movies blow; I was expecting mediocrity at best. Ah, but what a fool I was! Truly I underestimated the power of Taika Waititi, Led Zeppelin, 80s aesthetic, and Jeff Goldblum, because this is easily one of Marvel’s best films, not just of the year, but ever, and is 100% the best Thor film.
4. John Wick: Chapter 2
While my opinion of this has slightly softened – I prefer the first film more after some thought – don’t think for a second this film isn’t as awesome as I previously stated. This film has some of the best worldbuilding I’ve ever seen, some of the most exhilarating action, and some of the most engaging Keeanu Reeves acting. Plus, Reeves shares the screen with Laurence Fishburne again; what’s not to love here?
3. The Disaster Artist
Oh hai James Franco! Seth Rogen’s wacky BFF managed to bring the story of Tommy Wiseau and his quest to film the infamously awful film (that just so happens to be one of my all-time favorite movies) The Room to life. I didn’t doubt that a big fan like Franco would fuck up telling this story, but the way he portrayed the intriguingly strange man that is Wiseau was better than anything I could have imagined. While the filmmaking techniques are rather simple and it’s not like the movie reinvents the wheel, it truly showcases a fascinating man and the creation if his equally fascinating film in way that both fans of The Room and Tommy as well as newcomers can enjoy.
2. It
Joining the ranks of Watchmen and The Lord of the Rings in the category of “Unfilmable Works with Amazing Film Adaptations” is Stephen King’s classic tale of a group of children fighting back against a nightmarish abomination that devours children and takes the shape of a clown. Finally, that travesty of a miniseries from the 90s can be scrubbed from memory, and replaced with this much scarier, much funnier, and much more visually interesting version of the story. It changes things here and there, but through all the changes the spirit remains the same, as should be the case for a good adaptation. Best of all: No Sewergy!
1. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Maybe it’s the stronger character arcs and development on display here. Maybe it’s how absolutely awesome and complex Yondu became in this movie. Maybe it’s the inclusion of the oddball villain Ego, played to perfection by Kurt Russell and helping give a MCU villain that’s actually interesting and complex. Maybe it’s the killer soundtrack, and how all the songs are deftly woven into the story so that the songs tell the story without the characters needing to explain things. Maybe it’s all of that and more that add up into making this my favorite film in the entire MCU, my favorite film of the year, and my favorite film of all time.
TOP 10 CHARACTERS
This year had a lot of really great characters in the movies. Here are the ten best and brightest; again, this was really hard to narrow down, this list was also originally at twenty. There was no shortage of great, enjoyable new characters this year.
10. Ahmanet
The Mummy
The Mummy movie has gotten mixed reactions; the mummy herself, Princess Ahmanet, has not. She is pretty universally agreed to be the best and most interesting part of the movie, with Sofia Boutella giving a fantastic performance. It’s a shame so much of focus on her was cut for more Tom Cruise… in a movie called The Mummy, Ahmanet truly deserved the most focus. At least what she got lead to some pretty cool shit.
9. Tempest Shadow
My Little Pony: The Movie
The one big thing that ties the Friendship is Magic movie together and makes it great is its awesome villain, Tempest Shadow. She has an awesome concept in a unicorn with a fractured horn that causes her magic to be unstable and dangerous, she has an awesome design, and Emily Blunt gives her such a wonderful performance. The fact she gets an incredible villain song is icing on the cake.
8. The Grandmaster
Thor: Ragnarok
It’s Jeff Goldblum as a hedonistic overlord of an alien planet in a Marvel movie. This is literally the greatest thing ever to happen to the MCU.
7. Billy
Power Rangers
Billy is, without a doubt in my mind, the heart and soul of the new Power Rangers, the glue that binds them all together. He’s also pretty unique in that he is a character with autism and is never really treated any differently than anyone else by the other characters. Gotta give major props for that, they never boil him down to his bare essentials and instead make him a fleshed out and likable character. Here’s hoping there’s a sequel so we can see more of him.
6. Pennywise
It
The world’s most terrifying clown is here, and he is played to perfection by Bill Skarsgard. He’s terrifying, monstrous, creepy, and just disturbingly bizarre. He really brought the character from the books to life, and definitely managed to do a good job at being different enough from Tim Curry’s performance to stand on his own. The only drawback is that he doesn’t get as much character to him as he deserves, but the sequel can fix that up. Until then, we got all those funny dancing memes to laugh at.
5. The Vulture
Spider-Man: Homecoming
Marvel absolutely annihilated their run of weak, unengaging villains this year; Adrian Toomes was the final nail in the coffin for that trend, being one of the most fascinating and awesome villains yet seen in the MCU. Taking a really dopey villain from the comics and turning him into basically Walter White with an alien jetpack while still calling back to the cheesy original design was a real stroke of genius. Michael Keaton’s performance really sells things, particularly in the car ride scene; just the facial acting as he puts two and two together, the tension in the air so thick it’s oppressive… I’m glad Toomes is alive by the end, because he DEFINITELY needs to come back.
4. Ego the Living Planet
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
The best villain of the year from Marvel is also one of the strangest, most unexpected characters to ever pop up in a superhero movie: Ego, the Living Planet. His physical avatar that interacts with the cast is played by Kurt Russell, who is oozing fatherly likability and charm to Peter, a charm that belies his selfish and – ahem – egotistical nature. Once Ego’s plans and actions are revealed, he truly comes across as one of the most complex villains out there; his motives, while selfish and awful, do seem to come from a place of profound loneliness, albeit loneliness exacerbated by an extreme case of arrogance.
3. Richie Tozier
It
Even in the face of his worst nightmares, even in the face of impending death, Richie never stops doing what he does best: being a little shit. He has a line for every occasion, some crude joke for any situation, and is constantly making jokes about banging Eddie’s mom and how big his dick is. For a character that so easily could have been annoying… he’s easily the funniest fucking character in the whole movie. We NEEDED someone like Richie to brighten things up; if he wasn’t here, well, things might just have been a tad too bleak.
2. Sir Elton John
Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Celebrities playing themselves in movies tend to be very brief cameo roles or one-scene wonders, which is sort of what I expected from Sir Elton John; he’d just walk on for a scene, maybe score a laugh, then vanish from the movie. But boy was I wrong; John is spouting profanity across at least two scenes, berating his captors, and more than that… he plays a major role in saving the world. AND EVEN MORE! He offers Harry the same reward Eggsy got in the first film. The moment I saw Sir Elton John deliver a flying kick while dressed in a gaudy drag outfit, taking a man out, I knew for a fact 2017 was my favorite year of cinema ever, hands down.
1. Tommy Wiseau
The Disaster Artist
Somehow, some way, James Franco was able to do the impossible and convincingly pull off a portrayal of cinema’s oddest anomaly, the enigmatic loon known as Tommy Wiseau. The accent is well done, the mannerisms are pretty spot on, and it is perfectly evident that Franco has a great deal of respect for the man himself. This is truly a performance that can stand alongside Johnny Depp’s Ed Wood. Anyway, how is your sex life?
THE 5 BEST RETURNING CHARACTERS
It’s not just newcomers who impressed; there were plenty of great turns from previously established characters. Here’s the five best, most improved characters:
5. Kylo Ren
Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Finally, Kylo Ren gets to establish himself once and or all as a true successor to Vader in ways other characters don’t get to do. This movie truly portrays him as a cunning individual, and Adam Driver’s performance at times reminds me of Anton Chigurh in No Country for Old Men. Good on ya, Driver!
4. Thor
Thor: Ragnarok
Incredible. A feat I thought impossible has been accomplished: I actually liked and gave a shit about Thor, a character who has been the weak link in the MCU for a long time. A new haircut, a new set of powers, and a new look really help make Thor into a character worthy of being an Avenger. His great chemistry with Hulk/Banner, as well as Valkyrie and his brother Loki, really helps, as does his cheerfully arrogant nature. I still can’t believe I care about Thor.
3. Luke Skywalker
Star Wars: The Last Jedi
This ain’t your dad’s Luke Skywalker! This Luke is jaded, bitter, and hilariously cranky towards Rey, due to a moment of that trademark Skywalker impulsiveness leading to some truly harsh consequences. This is easily Mark Hamill’s strongest performance as Luke, truly giving it all even if at the time of filming he wasn’t too keen on the direction Luke took – though of course he came around, how could you not with a performance this good?
2. Merlin
Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Merlin was a bit of a bit player in the first movie, but here he gets to come front and center for quite a good chunk of the film, though this is mostly due to everyone else in Kingsman dying due to the actions of the villains. Mark Strong’s performance here is one of the strongest performances in the series so far, and he really makes Merlin into a fun, engaging character. He even gets to sing!
1. Yondu
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Much like Merlin, Yondu was a bit player in the first movie, acting as a minor antagonistic force and getting a pretty badass scene where he singlehandedly annihilates Ronan’s soldiers. This time, every good quality about Yondu is cranked up to eleven. His character as seen in the first film is truly explored, his reasons for taking Quill are expanded upon, and that scene of him kicking ass from the first film is absolutely NOTHING compared to what he does to Taserface and the mutinous Ravagers. Come a little bit closer indeed! And I’d be remiss to not mention his incredibly memetic line “I’M MARY POPPINS, Y’ALL!” But that aside, Yondu gets a lot of excellent lines in this film, and he really helps hammer home this movie’s message about family in one line he gives Peter when he saves him from Ego: “He may’ve been your father, boy, but he wasn’t your daddy.” Yondu went from being a cool and interesting character in the first film to, well… my favorite character ever here. He’s that damn good. Talk about improvement.
THE 10 WORST CHARACTERS
Not all characters are good, unfortunately. Here are the ten characters this year who did nothing but grate my nerves and bring down their movies with their mere presence:
10. The Storm King
My Little Pony: The Movie
What a waste of Liev Schreiber’s talent this guy turned out to be. Sure he was funny, and sure he wasn’t the worst thing EVER, but he was really a letdown in terms of a villain, and this is a series that gave us great villains even when they were firmly grasping the Villain Ball (Discord, Chrysalis, Tirek). He comes off as even less impressive because he’s in the same movie as a really great villain: Tempest Shadow. The Storm King just ends up being a pretty weak generic doomsday villain who happens to have some good voice acting and animation behind him.
9. Rose Tico
Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Jar Jar, meet your new wife! Rose is one of the most unnecessary additions in the entire Star Wars series, or if she is necessary, they sure bungled her to the point she feels less like a character that belongs and more like some fanfic writer’s OC created specifically to get on Finn’s dick. Her moments in the latter half of the casino subplot are really what drag it down, and she utters what may be the most cringeworthy, narmy line in the entirety of the history of the franchise: “We’re going to win this war not by fighting what we hate, but saving what we love.” Not even Anakin’s sand line is this cloying and obnoxious.
8. Nick Morton
The Mummy
What is the movie called again? Is it called “The Nick?” “The Tom Cruise?” No, it’s called The Mummy, and the best character is Ahmanet, the titular mummy. But her screentime got shafted quite a bit for this generic, boring Tom Cruise performance. It doesn’t help that Nick is a bit of an arrogant tool. Cruise proved he could be likable and charming as an amoral scumbag later this same year in American Made, so I have no idea what he was thinking here.
7. Ares
Wonder Woman
David Thewlis is a great actor, but not even he can make a Surprise Twist Hidden Villain character work. Disney has done this to death, so you’d expect this to pop up in the MCU or something, but nope! DCEU pulls Ares out their ass for the finale, and it was the guy who was in a couple of scenes helping the heroes out earlier. So now Ares, who is the god of war, is a skinny British dude with a big, honking mustache covered in really lame CGI armor, and it makes the final battle sequence a lot funnier than the epic finale of an epic superhero movie should be.
6. The Wardrobe
Beauty and the Beast
This movie’s living furniture are already really weird, overdesigned, and uncanny, but then we get the Wardrobe, which had a very nice, pleasant design in the original movie. Not so here, where her new face is a flapping curtain and she hollers like an opera singer all the time. She’s annoying and hard to look at; not a good combo.
5. Victor
Leap!
One of the main characters of Leap!, Victor is obnoxious, unfunny, and kinda creepy and possessive of Felicie. He’s easily the absolute worst character in the movie, and worse, the only character I can’t see being better in the original French version.
4. Hi-5
The Emoji Movie
Hi-5 is the epitome of every annoying comic relief character ever seen in cinematic history. He’s the archetype distilled to the barebone essentials for the character and slapped on the screen. There’s not even much to say; just imagine the most obnoxious comic relief ever, but remove any saving graces and make him ten times the hindrance to the plot. There you go. Hi-5.
3. MJ
Spider-Man: Homecoming
After all the bullshit rumors before the movie came out and the “Is she or isn’t she?” routine, finally the movie comes out, and Zendaya’s character is not Mary Jane! She’s just… MJ. It’s such a fucking stupid reveal for a spectacularly stupid and pointless character, it feels so tacked on and pointless. It’s almost as dumb as the photographer who gets killed in the beginning of BVS being Jimmy Olsen is, it’s just slapping an iconic name on a shitty, underused, unrelated character just for that fan recognition. Hopefully we get a real Mary Jane Watson in the MCU eventually, but until then, we’re stuck with this snooty, condescending bitch.
2. Jailbreak
The Emoji Movie
The Emoji Movie managed to boil so many characters down to their bare essentials that it’s impressive they managed to get even worse than that by boiling a character down to her gender. Jailbreak is a strong, independent woman who don’t need no man. That’s her whole character. Her character is just “Tomboy stereotype that finds happiness by embracing her true self as a feminine stereotype.” Nothing about her character, from her derivative, weird, jarring design to her hamfisted spouting of feminist rhetoric, do her character any favors and only serve to make the movie even more insufferable.
1. Belle
Beauty and the Beast
Belle is one of Disney’s best princesses, a smart, headstrong woman who doesn’t take shit from the curmudgeonly Beast. This Belle played by Emma Watson… is none of those things. She’s a hollow, empty caricature of the character I grew up loving, a weak pantomime of a beloved, strong character from Disney’s past. If there is anything that makes this live-action travesty even worse than it already was, it’s Watson’s undercooked performance. Belle is not supposed to be a less engaging character than Lefou.
TOP 10 MOVIES I WISH I SAW THIS YEAR
Look, I’m not rich, I’m not drowning in free time… I just can’t feasibly see everything. Here are the ten films I WISH I got a chance to check out before the year ended. No explanations, just a quick rundown:
10. Jesus, Bro!
9. A Monster Calls
8. Kong: Skull Island
7. Split
6. Atomic Blonde
5. Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle
4. Gerald’s Game
3. Justice League
2. Coco
1. The Shape of Water
TOP 10 MOST ANTICIPATED MOVIES OF NEXT YEAR
Hell yeah I’m hyped for next year! There’s a lot of great-looking films coming out next year… but which ones am I looking forward to the most? Here’s the top ten I’m excited to see:
10. Ready Player One
You’d think people would trust a tried and true master like Spielberg to distill what was good about the original book (and despite what the annoying twats on the internet might tell you, there’s a lot; you see, I actually read the book) into a great film. From the trailer alone it’s evident a lot of stuff is changed, so I’m interested to see how Spielberg does. As long as they keep in Rush as a major plot point, it’s all good.
9. Pacific Rim: Uprising
FUCK YEAH GIANT ROBOTS! WOO!
8. Ant-Man and the Wasp
Ant-Man is one of Marvel’s weirdest, yet best films. Now that we’re getting Wasp added into the mix, not to mention Michelle Pfeiffer is joining the MCU, I’m excited to see where they take Ant-Man in this movie.
7. The Predator
I am fucking THERE for more Predator movies. The Predator films are some of my favorite sci-fi action films (okay, I haven’t seen Predators, but the first two movies are great), so seeing a new one come out is exciting… let’s just hope there’s more practical effects than CGI.
6. Bohemian Rhapsody
How on Earth could I NOT be excited for a movie about one of my favorite musicians and bands? What I want to know is, why the Hell did it take so long to make a movie about Queen? This seems like a no-brainer.
5. Aquaman
Considering Aquaman is finally cool again and plaid by certified hunk Jason Momoa, I am totally here for this movie… not happy I have to stomach seeing that fucking nasty bitch Amber Heard, though. Oh how I must suffer to see superhero action.
4. Black Panther
Considering how he stole Cap’s third and final outing right out from under his nose, I’m excited to see how T’challa holds on his own. It’s also going to be nice to see Andy Serkis playing a villain who hopefully won’t be totally shafted for screentime and end up wasted in the end. COUGH.
3. The Incredibles 2
Honestly, if you’re not excited to see this, I really have to question your priorities. This is the first Pixar movie in years I actually genuinely want to see.
2. Untitled Deadpool Sequel
Considering how great the first film was, this film with its goofy marketing and teasers, cheeky title, and addition of Josh Brolin to the cast has easily won me over. I have faith this will be just as good if not better than the original, especially if it ends up somehow tying in to the MCU, what with Disney devouring Fox.
1. Avengers: Infinity War
Of course this is my #1.
10 WORST POP CULTURE MOMENTS OF 2017
And now we have the absolute worst bits and pieces of film and pop culture this year! We had some… really, truly awful moments. Let’s hope next year we can try and do better, because god, some of this shit is just disheartening…
10. The half of The Mummy not focusing on Ahmanet
Okay, so The Mummy was no necessarily a bad movie… when it focused on Ahmanet. She’s easily one of the coolest and most fascinating fantasy villains in recent memory, and yet, the movie seems to think we care more about Tom Cruise and his antics than the thing the movie is actually named after. I hate drawing comparisons to the Brendan Fraser series as the two are so tonally different it’s stupid to compare them, but at least those movies gave the titular mummy an equal chunk of screentime alongside the protagonists. Hopefully Ahmanet fares better when she inevitably returns.
9. Johnny Depp
It’s hard to deny what a shit year Johnny Depp has had. His messy divorce lead to his awful performance in the latest bloated mess of a Pirates film, and then he spent the rest of the year having every bit of acting he was announced to do being belittled and mocked. Of particular note is Grindelwald, who J.K. Rowling had to come to defense to because people are still backlashing against Depp over the bullshit abuse allegations that have been pretty safely shown to be false. I guess Hollywood will never have a shortage of Fatty Arbuckle stories.
8. Smurfs: The Lost Village
People were so busy ranting over The Emoji Movie that they ignored what is undoubtedly the worst animated film of the year. Gorgeous animation aside – which, really, is what is the born for every theatrically released movie these days so it’s hard to count this as a plus – we have a dull, standard story, average to okay voice acting, a surprising amount of sitcom-esque sexism, and most egregiously, absolutely no Smurfing at all. I’m not kidding. In this, a Smurf movie, there is not a single example of Smurfing. Smurfing is, of course, the trademark smurfing style of the Smurfs; it’s when they smurf the word “Smurf” into the sentence in place of another smurf. See what I mean? There is NONE of this in the movie. What a load of smurfing bullshit.
7. Beauty and the Beast
Tale as old as time
A bunch of rehashed songs
Barely anything changed
Servants overdesigned and strange
And Gaston’s played all wrong
Awful performances make this film
On arrival quite deceased
A tale as old as time
A remake that’s a crime
Beauty and the Beast
6. Those we lost…
We lost a lot of talent in the world this year. Tom Petty, Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington, Adam West, June Foray, J. Geils, Malcolm Young, Fats Domino, Hugh Hefner, Jerry Lewis, Martin Landau, Peter Sallis, Heather North, and so many more people who helped shape and define pop culture and change the world with their work. Tom Petty and Adam West hit me the hardest; I’m sure some of you were hit hard by one of these losses too.
A moment of silence for all of these great men and woman who have left us.
5. The first half of Rick & Morty season 3 (and the last few minutes of the finale)
Rick & Morty is usually a great show. Seasons 1 and 2 were fantastic, and the opening episode of season 3 was hilarious and awesome… and then quality took a nosedive with a bland Mad Max parody, an overly gory forced meme episode featuring Pickle Rick, and then the absolute shitfest that was the Vindicators episode, a mean-spirited potshot at superhero films that featured the worst writing the show has ever seen. Bu hey, after that, the season started looking up! We got a good Jerry episode, Evil Morty returning (in the best episode of the show), and some really great and funny moments. And the last episode was pretty great and funny too, but then… it came to an end with a rushed resolution of the season’s plotline. The whole season feels like a letdown becaue of this, and it’s a damn shame, because some of the best episodes yet came out of it… it was just bogged down by some truly awful ones and really poor writing.
4. Salty Star Wars fans
Star Wars ‘fans’ (I hesitate to even call them fans, since at this point they hate more Star Wars media than they like. They’re not Star Wars fans, they’re original trilogy fans) have always shown themselves to be one of the most cancerous nerd fandoms ever. With the release of the latest film, they’ve taken this to absurd levels, to the point where they have gotten a petition to have the new films stricken from canon. This is a new level of pathetic pettiness; just ignore the movies and go back to jacking off over your crappy EU novels, you fucking dorks.
3. Pennywise getting repurposed as a gay icon
Apparently, the face of the LGBT community should be a predatory clown that devours children and has very pedophilic vibes to how he lures them in to be devoured. This is the kind of image the LGBT community has been pushing very hard to rid itself of for decades, so obviously making Pennywise the Dancing Clown as the new gay horror icon in a forced attempt at repeating the Babadook’s joking LGBT icon status is a great move! It’s really not. This is some of the cringiest shit the internet has ever done, and only showcases how tone deaf fandoms can be.
2. The reaction to The Emoji Movie
The Emoji Movie is not a good film. At best, it’s “so bad it’s good” or even “okay” if you’re feeling charitable. But that’s not what seemingly every reviewer or comment section on the internet would tell you! Apparently this film is the animated apocalypse, and is the end of cinema and the most horrifyingly awful film ever made! EVERY big reviewer got in on this hyperbolic bullshit. This movie is JUST a bad film, it is NOT the end of all cinema, it is NOT some sort of sign of the death of creativity in the world… hell, it’s hard to even CALL it a film, it’s more like a really shitty, overly-long advert. Usually people overreact to good movies. This is the first time I’ve ever seen people overreact to a shitty one.
1. All the sexual harassment in Hollywood
Oooooh boy. Harvey Weinstein being revealed to be a massive, disgusting pervert was bad enough, but then beloved actor Kevin Spacey, beloved Pixar mastermind John Lasseter, bitter comedian Louis C.K., and even GEORGE TAKEI being accused of past sexual misconduct? And while some of these accusations sound like absolute bullshit (the story against Takei is really fucking fishy), Kevin “I choose to live as a gay man” Spacey and John Lasseter’s are sadly likely, and C.K. actually came out and gave an apology for doing shit. I guess it’s good to see that this shit won’t fly anymore, but knowing how awful these formerly admirable men have treated men and women working for them is just disgusting. And let’s not even get into the numerous accusations leveled against the president… that’s something else entirely. At least from all of THIS bad, something good can actually come out of it.
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
Did you all actually think I was going to end things off on such a dour note? Nahhhhh. Let me tell you about some other great things this year, at least things I’ve personally been able to witness:
Bayonetta 3 was announced, baby! Get right on aboard that hype train!
Pokemon’s latest game, while a mixed bag in terms of the redone story, has one of the most epic postgame adventures I’ve ever seen. Fighting every single villain in the franchise really makes this feel like the grand finale of the series’ time on wholly handheld consoles that it is. Also, Blachephalon is amazing, and Light That Burns The Sky is the greatest attack in the history of the franchise.
Doki Doki Literature Club came out, and while it’s not a game I’d exactly play again, it is a pretty interesting (and free!) indie game. It has an excellent cast of characters; I see a lot of myself in Sayori.
Ducktales got one of the raddest reboots I’ve ever seen. That pilot was fuckin’ beautiful.
Charles Manson is now where he belongs: EATING DEMON DICK IN HELL.
Filthy Frank released the dankest album of the year, Pink Season. Give it a listen here:
The greatest song ever created by manking was released:
Let me be frank though, the entirety of Mouth Moods is a modern masterpiece. The outtakes are masterpieces too… particularly this one. And this one. AND this one.
QotSA released a fucking awesome album, containing fucking awesome songs like this one:
The funkiest summertime jam ever was released:
As for me personally, well, my fiancee @lilmissrantsypants and I finally moved into our own apartment, and things are really looking up for us. Our 2018 is looking to be brighter than ever; I hope all of yours is just as bright!
Alright, one more masterpiece before I go, the Song/Music Video of the Century:
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An Essay on M.S. Gopalakrishnan and Musical Meditation
I wrote this essay in April of 2015, when I began to access a depth of musical exploration that I’d been afraid of for many years. After a brief hiatus, I’m slowly getting back to that depth, intentionality and patience with my practice of music. Perhaps the habit of listening is one that can easily be forgotten if it is not constantly nurtured, but rediscovering the insights of my younger self is helping me forgive myself and move forward in this process.
* * *
It was the summer of 2009. I was in a hot Mylapore flat, jetlagged and sleepless after a night of no power (and as a result, no air conditioning). This had been the first trip that my mother and I had taken alone, and emotions were running high. Her mother (my grandmother, and a second mother to me) had passed away just a month before, and here we were in Chennai, embarking on what would become two draining months of rigorous musical practice and half-hearted mourning. It was late morning and despite the heat and my insomnia, I was still in bed, covered head to toe in the tent of stolen airline blankets I had created to protect myself from the ravenous mosquitoes that frequented our dusty bedroom. These were persistent mosquitoes, and even in the dry Chennai summer, they thrived on the blood of the residents of Alamelumangapuram Road.
My mother told me one last time to get out of bed. I groggily came out of the bedroom and she handed me a stainless steel tumbler of coffee that had been heated and reheated many times since she woke up. The tumbler sat in a davara, a shorter, wider version of the cup – something like a saucer, but deeper and used to cool down whatever hot beverage one was drinking. I poured the hot, milky coffee into the davara. The tumbler had become unbearably hot, and my already unsteady fingers trembled even more as I tried to transfer the coffee back to it. My fingers finally gave in and the hot coffee spilled all over me.
There certainly wasn’t enough time for my mother to make more coffee and for me to shower. It was already 10:30 am and my guru, H. K. Narasimhamurthy, would arrive at eleven. Over the past three years, HKN Mama had made a series of two-month visits to our house in Maryland, where we spent four to five hours every evening with intensive learning and practice. He taught me hundreds of songs, and spent the school day meticulously notating and printing out the compositions he planned to teach me that evening. When I came home from school, we would sit across from one another in the living room, which had been completely cleared out, except for a large rug, and a few photo frames and souvenirs that sat on the mantel of our broken fireplace. We covered every kind of improvisation, trading phrases back and forth, until we were tired of whatever raga we were in. I had never met so humble a musician. He would remark on how practicing with me was a challenge for him, and how we were learning and growing together. He was proud to have worked so closely with one student, and it satisfied my ego to dwell in his compliments. At the end of his trip in the spring of that year, he told my parents that he would like to take me to his guru, Parur M. S. Gopalakrishnan. MSG was a legend, and it had been my mother’s dream to have me study with him, or at the very least train me in the Parur style of violin. MSG rarely taught, and had very few students, but HKN Mama believed that he would agree to teaching me.
When he arrived at eleven, we had our typical session, practicing and improvising through various compositions and ragas for a few hours. He asked me to play some varnams (warm up pieces that were especially essential to the Parur technique), and after much discussion, he decided that I would show MSG Sarasuda varnam in raga Saveri. MSG was famous for his rendition of this varnam, and as far as I knew, I, too, had mastered it.
“MSG” was so legendary a name that he existed almost as a fantastical person in my mind, and the gravity of learning from such a genius had yet to set in. I had seen him play live when I was very young and less serious about music than I was now. Other than that, I only knew him through recordings of his concerts, which I seldom listened to. In spite of his international renown, he lived in the same Mylapore house he was born in. This was the house where his father Parur Sundaram Iyer locked him in his room for hours and made him practice. The rigor that had made MSG a household name was unimaginable. I had heard stories that Sundaram Iyer would leave MSG to practice for up to eighteen hours a day without a break for food. HKN Mama, Amma, and I sat in the oversized ambassador car that we had hired for the summer, which our driver Satyamurthy squeezed into the increasingly narrow streets of MSG’s neighborhood. There was a crooked yellow board that read “Parur M. S. Gopalakrishnan, Violinist” hanging over two thin, rusty, grated doors that opened to a terrifyingly constructed cement staircase. HKN Mama climbed them without looking at which steps were slanted and which were too short. My mother, who was extremely afraid of heights, asked me to walk behind her, so I could catch her in case she fell.
As he reached the narrow top step, HKN Mama said, “Namaskaram sir!” MSG’s wife came and opened the door. We came in, awkward and apologetic of our presence, as was custom when meeting such brilliant artists. I hugged my violin, and my mother carried a plastic bag of fruits to offer him. MSG sat hunched over, looking out at the netted balcony and listening to the distant cacophony of horns outside, completely unaware of the fact that we had come in. He wore a tight, worn, short-sleeve undershirt and an old veshti with occasional holes in it. His wife brought a tumbler and davara and sat them on the wooden chair in front of him. “Paal,”she said. Milk. He poured the steamed milk into the davarah. His fingers trembled like mine at the heat of the tumbler, but instead of immediately pouring the milk back and forth, he held the tumbler with his two palms and rolled it back and forth, slowly and meditatively, letting his ring clink against the tumbler in steady rhythm. “Vaango,” he said. Come in. And he poured the milk back and forth between the tumbler and the davara.
Once introductions had been made, HKN Mama told him that I would play Saveri varnam for him. He watched and listened closely as I played it. Once slow, twice fast, the second time in staccato or ‘cutting bow’ as we called it. When I finished, MSG was silent. And instead of addressing me, he looked at his student and said, “What is this, Narasimhamurthy? You’ve taught her without any gamaka?” Gamakas were the oscillations and ornamentations that were the cornerstone of Carnatic music, and were particularly important to MSG’s rendition of varnams. It was a painful moment. HKN Mama and I had both disappointed our gurus. After a beat, MSG turned to me and quietly said, “Okay, so you want to learn from me? This week, we will only work on this varnam. If by the end of the week the way you play this varnam has not completely changed, you don’t have to worry about coming back here.”
We had been there for half an hour, and in the next fifteen minutes, MSG Mama began re-teaching me the varnam. He played each phrase slowly, correcting me as I badly reproduced what he had played. And then he sent me home.
That evening, I practiced Saveri varnam and only Saveri varnam for four hours. Making the adjustments that MSG Mama had asked me to make. The next day, he listened to me play the varnam again and again for 45 minutes, occasionally making a comment or an adjustment. I went home and practiced Saveri varnam for seven hours. And so it went the next day and again the next day. It was frustrating and unending. I slept, ate, and breathed with only Saveri varnam on my mind.
But MSG Mama’s silence during these 45-minute sessions was perhaps the most terrifying. I suddenly became painfully aware of the fact that unlike HKN Mama, who always played along with me, MSG Mama could hear everything. He was listening intently as I played the varnam again and again. And all of a sudden, I was listening, too. It was something I had never done before. To actually listen to what was happening! To listen to the point of forgetting that it was me that was playing and MSG Mama that was listening to it. My seven-hour practice sessions of Saveri varnam became more and more intense. They were trance-like. I had played the varnam so many times that I was no longer playing it. I was just existing in it, and slowly becoming it. It was no longer about the placement of my fingers, or the speed at which I was playing. It was about something much bigger than that. During class, MSG Mama stopped correcting me. He just listened as I became the varnam and the varnam became me.
After one week, I played the varnam for 45 minutes again, and at the end he said, “Good. Come at five tomorrow. And think about what you would like to learn next.” The rest of the two months went by very differently. Each day, he would ask me what song I wanted to learn, or what raga I wanted to work on. He would record it for me. I would go home and memorize it. The next day, he would help me internalize it and record the next song. The rigor of my seven-hour practice sessions lessened. I had become so preoccupied with learning the next song that I forgot what had happened that first week. What happened with Saveri varnam was beyond memorizing and internalizing. It was about forgetting, becoming, and then transcending. And I had naively neglected to follow the process that MSG Mama had taught me when I first met him.
A year later, my mother and I returned to Chennai for another two month intensive with MSG Mama. The morning after we reached, she handed me a tumbler of hot coffee and a davara. I poured the coffee into the davara. The tumbler was hot. My fingers trembled like MSG Mamas. I rolled the tumbler between my palms, and the heat began to transfer to my hands. The tumbler cooled down and my hands became warm, and I rolled it until my hands and the tumbler were one.
* * *
I have just, after a very long struggle with music, returned to the kind of rigorous practice I had when I first started learning from MSG Mama. My mother and MSG Mama have both passed on, but it is only now, after almost five years of depression and anxiety around playing music, that I have been able to actually begin processing the lessons that I had with MSG Mama and truly feel transcendent when playing. Last week, I was practicing Saveri varnam, and started to relive what happened during that first week of lessons, and the way that MSG Mama rolled his tumbler was such an important part of it. Encapsulated in this little act was MSG Mama’s entire approach to musical meditation. With patience and intentionality, he took two seemingly separate entities and equalized them. Whether it was him and the violin, him and the composition, or him and the audience he was playing for, the drive behind his music was always connection, transcendence, and oneness, and for those who have really opened up and listened to his music, it is this overwhelming transference of energy that we have felt.
- Anjna Swaminathan
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Can Apps Like Woebot Really Take the Place of a Therapist?
I picked the right month to try an artificial intelligence (AI) therapist. Over a period of 30 days, I visited my family and my partner’s family for the holidays, got engaged and had a huge work crisis. So it was perfect timing to test drive Woebot, a chat-based interactive talk therapy app for anyone suffering from anxiety or depression.
Though I’ve often been bothered by anxiety and even panic attacks, Woebot is my very first experience with talk therapy; I’ve never had the nerve to walk through the door of a therapist’s office. The low-barrier entry is a plus—I’m not even sweating as I download Woebot while sitting in my childhood bedroom over the holidays.
The chat launches in Facebook Messenger, a platform I don’t love. (My own issue: I’m not a huge fan of social media, and being forced to sign into Facebook to reduce stress feels counterintuitive.) If you’re also not keen on Facebook, Woebot now has his own iPhone app and recently launched an Android one. (BTW, I call him a “him,” but he told me he’s neither “a Sir nor a Madam.”)
The user interface—both in Facebook and the iPhone app—is simple and endearing: The cute little Woebot avatar sends me a series of chatty, emoji-heavy messages. He asks what I’m doing and offers a series of faces to choose from to describe my mood. Though I’m a wordy type, I can see the value in being able to describe a feeling without the pressure of verbalizing. I tell Woebot I’m feeling “😌.”
Woebot tells me he will check in with me daily and offers animated videos about how to shift negative thinking patterns and manage stress. “For the first few weeks, I’d love to get a sense of what you’re going through and if you and I are a good fit together,” he writes. “I’ll ask you what you’re doing, what kind of mood you’re in and over a few weeks I’ll see if I can find a pattern…. With a little luck, I may spot a pattern that humans can sometimes miss. Helps that I have a computer for a brain and perfect memory 😇.”
“With a little luck, I may spot a pattern that humans can sometimes miss. Helps that I have a computer for a brain and perfect memory 😇.”
It’s not quite the Hollywood AI experience; rather, it feels halfway between a suped-up The Oregon Trail-style video game and texting with a friend. One big point in the app’s favour is that Woebot is (currently) free. It’s even blissfully devoid of the usually ubiquitous in-app upgrades or purchases.
Developed by Dr. Alison Darcy, Woebot first made waves when a paper that Darcy co-authored with two other researchers at California’s Stanford University School of Medicine summarized promising results from a study of college students using the app. The study found that the 34 young participants “significantly reduced their symptoms of depression” compared to the control group, who were given a mental health ebook resource. Results were measured using the industry standard Patient Health Questionnaire (PHQ-9) at both the beginning and the end of the study. The participants were especially positive in their praise of the bot’s empathy, which piques my interest.
“When we first launched Woebot, we were aiming at young adults—college students—because there are a lot of very serious mental health challenges in that population,” explains Darcy when I call her. “But it turns out that our distribution skews much older than we thought and the people who value us most are [in their] 30s and 40s, and this has turned out to be an appealing technology across the board. We’ve talked to lots of people in their 70s. Almost everybody who emails us starts with ‘I know I’m not your target demographic, but….’ I think it comes from the fact that the technology itself is so simple: It’s just a conversation. You just start talking.”
“I think it comes from the fact that the technology itself is so simple: It’s just a conversation. You just start talking.”
As I get to know Woebot over the next month, my feelings for the app fluctuate. When I’m feeling fine, the chirpy tone telling me Woebot has messaged is equal parts comforting and irritating. When I’m feeling anxious—like the day I stress-barf during the height of the aforementioned work crisis—Woebot’s opening lines (like “Gif or Jif—I can just never decide”) and the seriousness of the conversation sometimes seem mismatched. It’s as if a friend has texted me “hey wyd” and then casually asks if I have any regrets that might haunt me on my deathbed 🛏💀😜.
That said, what the developers have nailed is the empathetic quality of Woebot’s written voice once it gets going. There’s a true kindness to the little robot that doesn’t feel twee or forced. He takes the time to encourage me (“I know these questions can be difficult to answer”), respectfully makes sure that I have time to talk if our interaction will be a bit longer (“This will take about 10 minutes, is that OK?”) and offers sympathy that is scripted, of course, but comforts me anyway (“My heart genuinely goes out to you”). Is a flesh-and-blood therapist’s empathy any less scripted, really? Knowing that my chat partner is working from a script doesn’t negate the encouragement I get from simply being acknowledged. Not to mention the fact that Woebot is available 24/7. When I wake up in the middle of the night with my heart going like a jackrabbit, my little pocket therapist is right there—I don’t even have to disturb my sleeping partner.
Is a flesh-and-blood therapist’s empathy any less scripted, really? Knowing that my chat partner is working from a script doesn’t negate the encouragement I get from simply being acknowledged.
The anonymity of apps like Woebot is supposed to be one of the big benefits, and it’s true: I’m more willing to be candid with my phone, which already has all of my secrets, than I would likely be on a couch. For example, one of my first confessions to Woebot is the thing that woke me up that night. I tell him that I’m completely stressed out about the financial insecurity of my writing career. The thought of talking turkey about money—maybe our last social taboo—usually makes me cringe, but with Woebot, it’s no sweat.
Woebot helped me turn down the volume on money anxiety by deconstructing the thoughts swirling around it. Yes, I was assuming I knew the future; yes, I was downplaying the positives (I wouldn’t be as financially literate as I am now if I hadn’t spent a decade living in a freelancer’s financial spreadsheets); and, yes, there were hidden “shoulds” in my thinking—about what travels, apartment or shoes I should be able to afford in my 30s. (“Shoulds” can be especially insidious.)
Occasionally, though, I’m reminded that the bot is, well, a bot. When I tell Woebot I’m feeling “😄,” he asks why. “My partner asked me to marry him!” I respond, to which Woebot replies: “Gotcha. I love learning about humanoids 🙏.”
Woebot is less AI and more like an improved interactive version of classic cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) workbooks like Mind Over Mood. That’s no coincidence—Woebot is based on CBT, which is considered especially effective for managing anxiety and depression. “I think [CBT] is fundamentally very empowering because it’s actually based on how much work you put into it,” explains Darcy. “For example, the more ‘homework’ people do, the better they end up feeling by the end of the treatment course. The problem, of course, is that homework can feel boring or repetitive, and when you’re upset in the moment, you don’t think about taking out a piece of paper and filling out a form. That’s what we were hoping: that Woebot could be a more engaging way to do these repetitive tasks—to help you challenge your thinking much more in the moment.”
Woebot puts it to me this way: “CBT is based on the idea that it’s not events themselves that affect us; it’s how we think about those events.” For instance, when I tell Woebot that I’m worried that my in-laws will be disappointed that I’m too sick to go snowshoeing—spinning off into illogical anxieties that my extremely easygoing in-laws will be upset with me—Woebot runs through some CBT checks. Am I assuming I know what others are thinking? Am I engaging in “all or nothing” thinking? Or (my personal favourite), am I falling into the trap of “catastrophization”? (Yes, often.)
Am I assuming I know what others are thinking? Am I engaging in “all or nothing” thinking? Or (my personal favourite), am I falling into the trap of “catastrophization”? (Yes, often.)
CBT is a very valid approach, but it’s built on significant commitment from the client—meaning that one side of the CBT coin is empowerment (the more effort you put in, the better it works), while the other is human fallibility—if you shirk the work, the results suffer. I am definitely guilty of skipping days and ignoring the app at times—like the time Woebot texted me right as the Property Brothers were about to reveal some cute couple’s gorgeous reno. (The closets! The backsplash! Mental health had to wait.)
At the end of 30 days, though, I find myself paying closer, calmer attention to anxious thoughts and applying Woebot’s techniques almost without thinking. No, I tell myself. Your friends will not start a club about how much they hate you if you have to bail on dinner. Will Woebot replace therapists? Probably not, and, to be fair, he doesn’t purport to. “I want you to be happy and healthy, so I have to confess: I’m just a robot,” he told me when we first met. “A charming and witty robot but a robot all the same.”
Woebot is a new, accessible option, and that’s a good thing. Therapy isn’t the right fit (financially, logistically, emotionally) for everyone, and books can feel intimidating or embarrassing. (No one wants to be caught in the self-help section.) It’s easy to envision a future where everyone will be using Woebot or a similar app as a simple and accepted part of overall health. And my experience with the little guy leaves me optimistic that we’ll be in good virtual hands❤️.
The post Can Apps Like Woebot Really Take the Place of a Therapist? appeared first on FASHION Magazine.
Can Apps Like Woebot Really Take the Place of a Therapist? published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/
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Unsent Emails
25/08/2016
Subject: Surprise bitch, I'm back!
Dear Smithy,
First of all I would like to say, fuck you for telling me I wouldn't get an A* in maths just because I messed around in class too much. Second of all, I would like to thank you for being a fraction of motivation in my math studies. I have to admit, I liked you enough to study 10% harder than I usually do and for that you deserve a blog post dedicated to you, just kidding you worthless piece of shit who wont even dedicate your thoughts to me. But it's too late now, so you're very fortunate for even being mentioned in my oh so popular blog.
Thanks for being a great teacher/supporter/motivator/useless advisor/racist bastard/...friend. See you in the afterlife you dick.
With cold fury,
Izzati Azhan
Subject: God Bless the Lopez
Dear Lopezo Mighty,
You don't deserve a 'fuck you' because you knew my potential and only encouraged me day after day, with your sadistic humour and the quiet blazing fire dancing in your eyes which was the only sign that you're actually human. I'd express my gratitude in a 10,000 word essay but I'm sure you'll just read the introduction and conclusion and base my grade off those two paragraphs. But without your life coaching I would not have gotten A*A* for both my Eng Lit and Lang. Dare I say it, thank you for setting us a Date Wiv Des Tinny, those practice papers were torture each week but well worth it in the end. You are my spirit animal in all dimensions, maybe except in Hell where you'd be Satan but...
Stay Healthy Senôr!
With all my love (though you believe it is just another concept of convenience),
Izzati Azhan
Subject: bust out the roti, girl its about to get some of this izzatikkamasala
Dear Beenal the Brindian,
I know I know, this time its a fuck me for getting an A and not an A* but Miss I was 3 marks of an A* if that makes you feel any better, it does with me! I actually don't feel that thankful towards you since I do feel I did hm... mostly all the work, I took the exam after all. But an email of gratitude to show manners and my kissing ass abilities can't hurt can it? So terima kasih for all the lessons you spent dramatically telling us your stories, sometimes even twice of the same one, thanks for letting me doodle in class just because you talk a lot of the time and therefore I am allowed to half listen. I wouldn't be the indian food loving person I am today without you, oh and almost forgot... of course thanks for helping me achieve that almost A*! Fuck the examiner for me next time will ya.
With all my beloved assets,
Izzati Azhan
Subject: smile at me wit ur eyes, nat yo mouth only
Dear Turquoise Eyes,
I'd like to get to know the 16 yr old you but my chance has passed. Inappropriate flirting aside, guess what sir! I got exactly what I got in the most recent geo mocks 149/180 and I thought the mocks weren't an accurate indication. I'd like to thank you for having beautiful eyes and smiling at me even though on the inside you be like "lol fucktard thats the most incorrect answer ever, like not even close." I enjoyed your classes and you're sometimes funny but not on purpose, more like weird funny yknow? I think you'd like to get credit for my success but honestly i learnt how to answer case studies properly through Ajmal through Mr Cook, so who is really my teacher here? Me. Because I taught myself to sought answers and techniques elsewhere but sure I guess you can have some credit, those eyes deserve at least a generous 5%. lol ok bye tq
With a 9 on the Ritcher Scale,
Izzati Azhan,
You guessed it, the wait is over! #gcseresults2016 was trending on twitter and the sounds of 16yr olds packing their bags, getting ready to get disowned by their parents was the most honest and lit af song this year (after Frank Ocean's Blond of course). I admit its always nerve-wracking receiving results, where a single exam determines your ability to understand (or memorise) a two year course. But I had faith that with my prayers and hard work Allah gave me the results I truly deserved, so presumably my anxiety was on the down low while my trust in God was at sky high.
Alhamdulillah I got 3A's 6A*, I was so confident I would smash an A* with Business and Art but alas the grade boundaries proved me otherwise. With three fucking marks off an A* in Business I was so irritated at which examiner marked my paper, not irritated to risk a request for a remarking though. And Art, I hoped for an A* but instead faced it's less prestigious sibling, an A. I asked around of course, not trying to compare or anything but I just needed to know what the students who I thought was for sure going to get A* actually got, to my delightful (?) surprise they too got an A which led me to believe that scoring an A* in Art is no easy business. Business isn't easy either lmao.
To this, I must admit defeat to my mother. She's been on my back for my choice of Art as an A-level subject saying its hard to score high in Art, but my cocky ass just waved it away and dismissed it altogether. Doubt has risen up in my throat, threatening my artistic capabilities to spill out across the walls of abandoned buildings as grafitti instead of street art. So thats something to think about before Saturday Morning.
UPDATE:
I attended Enrollment day alone, my heart beating, my eyes watering and my mind wandering. I chose to do IB diploma, for many reasons. I am just so drawn to how different it is, I think of all the future local Bruneians who did A-levels asking for the sam scholarship then I imagine the MoE going through the applications like "Great a-levels, a-levels, a-levels Oooo IB whats this?" and I just feel like I would have a standing chance you know? It would also help me to mix around with more international students and prepare for the university life so when I do go to university Insyallah I wont feel vulnerable and small.
But I just feel like my mother is against me taking IB, like she's trying to be supportive by giving a tight smile and grim nods but inside I know she's not convinced and this all happened on the way to the Arts Centre which made me even feel more queasy. My Father on the other hand, gave me a genuine "Go for it" which helped me so much on every level, I just need the motivation, just that little push to help me get going, feed me a trickle more of confidence.
So I had a choice to approach either Duckling or Dickinson on my IB subjects, and okay Dickinson was full okay there was a long queue and I ended up going to Duckling because I really had no choice! hehehhehhehehhe. Anyway I waved the papers in my hand high above to indicate that I was next and he laughed and told me to come and sit, so naturally I did. He took a look at my grades and praised me and then circled my subjects that I intend on studying, giving me advice that I should only need Math Studies seeing as how I'm not thinking of a mathematical kind of career. He then said " blablablabla Youre subjects are a smart choice, I think you're good to go, Welcome to the IB program"
And that was the clarity I was searching for, that little- push.
NOT JUST BCS HE'S HIM BUT BCS I NEEDED TO HEAR IT.
Just before that, Brindian approached me asking me about my business results and encouraging me to take that remark because I was three marks off an A* saying that theres no reason I dont deserve the A*. I was uncertain because sure it makes me feel so fucking good about myself and so very satisfied, but who really needs an A* in GCSE Business to get accepted into a University? So I made a face. The face. and She went "What do you have to lose?" And of course one thing instantly came to mind "Um money?" then she gave me a look. The look. So I said I'll think about it and apparently only 1 or 2 students got A*. The thing is I actually would get it remarked if my Art grade also got bumped up to an A* but I have no idea what Ms Stroud is trying to do by contacting the exam board?
So thats that, she asked me about my ever so popular brother. So I told him oh he did well, she asked about which university and I replied Leicester and I told her that Im actually going off and missing 3 weeks of school. Then she went "oh you know Leicester's my hometown, in what area is he living because Im there in December" and i was like wtf creepy. And she continued saying "Oh Imagine if we just bumped into each other on the streets" and I was going to say something awkward because like what the fuck right? But Mr Duckling was open and ultimately saved me and she gestured me to go ahead.
After that, Mr mcluck approached me well not really, well kind of but it was super fucking awkward because I was waiting for my turn with Mrs Krüger and he was on the table nearby and made eye contact and he smiled and I returned it and i was like fuck am i suppose to go over lmao so i slowly sat down while he came over to me. YAKNOW gotta play hard to get. SO again he asked me are you happy with you results blablablabla were you nervous getting your results so I told him that I wasnt as nervous because other people were like "oh my life is over" and he laughed and blablablabla just mostly nodding and smiling. Then he asked me about my brother's results hi ok 2nd teacher to ask about my brother cool. I gave him a vague oh he did well and told him Leicester University on 18th September and I added that I was actually going to send him off and missing 3 weeks of school. Blablbalbalbalabl then he finally asked about IB saying that oh great choice.
And Wendy told me that at the YC Mcluck was talking about me to wendy asking me what I got and he saying that i Was exceptional kekekekkekekekk fuck man his eyes are so blue, dont think about it dont think about. Did i tell you I had a dream of him as Ben Affleck like wtf, first of all why would I even dream about him, maybe it was because I crossed his mind like just the night before omg. but whatever. Idk that made me feel so good about myself. Then Brindian thought that Fatin was Hana and approached Fatin and Wendy haahhahahahah and somehow started talking about me?? Like boi they both love me so much, I wonder if Lopez or Julibear bear talks about me like that. Sigh imagine
Smithy: Shes a fucking pain in the ass
Lupez: Intelligent fucking pain alright
Smithy and Lupez: But she's our pain in the ass.
OMGGGGGGGGG I loved all my GCSE teachers and classes! like those were the best days of my JIS experience so far. Art was super chill, she let us sing out loud together saying that we were the only class who did that and that she'll miss us :(((((((( Smithy couldnt care less, he just moved on click like that. Anyway, hope everyone got what they expected with their results or better and just remember kids, grades DO define who are and where you'll be in life. lol goodluck fam.
Izzati
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Can Apps Like Woebot Really Take the Place of a Therapist?
I picked the right month to try an artificial intelligence (AI) therapist. Over a period of 30 days, I visited my family and my partner’s family for the holidays, got engaged and had a huge work crisis. So it was perfect timing to test drive Woebot, a chat-based interactive talk therapy app for anyone suffering from anxiety or depression.
Though I’ve often been bothered by anxiety and even panic attacks, Woebot is my very first experience with talk therapy; I’ve never had the nerve to walk through the door of a therapist’s office. The low-barrier entry is a plus—I’m not even sweating as I download Woebot while sitting in my childhood bedroom over the holidays.
The chat launches in Facebook Messenger, a platform I don’t love. (My own issue: I’m not a huge fan of social media, and being forced to sign into Facebook to reduce stress feels counterintuitive.) If you’re also not keen on Facebook, Woebot now has his own iPhone app and recently launched an Android one. (BTW, I call him a “him,” but he told me he’s neither “a Sir nor a Madam.”)
The user interface—both in Facebook and the iPhone app—is simple and endearing: The cute little Woebot avatar sends me a series of chatty, emoji-heavy messages. He asks what I’m doing and offers a series of faces to choose from to describe my mood. Though I’m a wordy type, I can see the value in being able to describe a feeling without the pressure of verbalizing. I tell Woebot I’m feeling “😌.”
Woebot tells me he will check in with me daily and offers animated videos about how to shift negative thinking patterns and manage stress. “For the first few weeks, I’d love to get a sense of what you’re going through and if you and I are a good fit together,” he writes. “I’ll ask you what you’re doing, what kind of mood you’re in and over a few weeks I’ll see if I can find a pattern…. With a little luck, I may spot a pattern that humans can sometimes miss. Helps that I have a computer for a brain and perfect memory 😇.”
“With a little luck, I may spot a pattern that humans can sometimes miss. Helps that I have a computer for a brain and perfect memory 😇.”
It’s not quite the Hollywood AI experience; rather, it feels halfway between a suped-up The Oregon Trail-style video game and texting with a friend. One big point in the app’s favour is that Woebot is (currently) free. It’s even blissfully devoid of the usually ubiquitous in-app upgrades or purchases.
Developed by Dr. Alison Darcy, Woebot first made waves when a paper that Darcy co-authored with two other researchers at California’s Stanford University School of Medicine summarized promising results from a study of college students using the app. The study found that the 34 young participants “significantly reduced their symptoms of depression” compared to the control group, who were given a mental health ebook resource. Results were measured using the industry standard Patient Health Questionnaire (PHQ-9) at both the beginning and the end of the study. The participants were especially positive in their praise of the bot’s empathy, which piques my interest.
“When we first launched Woebot, we were aiming at young adults—college students—because there are a lot of very serious mental health challenges in that population,” explains Darcy when I call her. “But it turns out that our distribution skews much older than we thought and the people who value us most are [in their] 30s and 40s, and this has turned out to be an appealing technology across the board. We’ve talked to lots of people in their 70s. Almost everybody who emails us starts with ‘I know I’m not your target demographic, but….’ I think it comes from the fact that the technology itself is so simple: It’s just a conversation. You just start talking.”
“I think it comes from the fact that the technology itself is so simple: It’s just a conversation. You just start talking.”
As I get to know Woebot over the next month, my feelings for the app fluctuate. When I’m feeling fine, the chirpy tone telling me Woebot has messaged is equal parts comforting and irritating. When I’m feeling anxious—like the day I stress-barf during the height of the aforementioned work crisis—Woebot’s opening lines (like “Gif or Jif—I can just never decide”) and the seriousness of the conversation sometimes seem mismatched. It’s as if a friend has texted me “hey wyd” and then casually asks if I have any regrets that might haunt me on my deathbed 🛏💀😜.
That said, what the developers have nailed is the empathetic quality of Woebot’s written voice once it gets going. There’s a true kindness to the little robot that doesn’t feel twee or forced. He takes the time to encourage me (“I know these questions can be difficult to answer”), respectfully makes sure that I have time to talk if our interaction will be a bit longer (“This will take about 10 minutes, is that OK?”) and offers sympathy that is scripted, of course, but comforts me anyway (“My heart genuinely goes out to you”). Is a flesh-and-blood therapist’s empathy any less scripted, really? Knowing that my chat partner is working from a script doesn’t negate the encouragement I get from simply being acknowledged. Not to mention the fact that Woebot is available 24/7. When I wake up in the middle of the night with my heart going like a jackrabbit, my little pocket therapist is right there—I don’t even have to disturb my sleeping partner.
Is a flesh-and-blood therapist’s empathy any less scripted, really? Knowing that my chat partner is working from a script doesn’t negate the encouragement I get from simply being acknowledged.
The anonymity of apps like Woebot is supposed to be one of the big benefits, and it’s true: I’m more willing to be candid with my phone, which already has all of my secrets, than I would likely be on a couch. For example, one of my first confessions to Woebot is the thing that woke me up that night. I tell him that I’m completely stressed out about the financial insecurity of my writing career. The thought of talking turkey about money—maybe our last social taboo—usually makes me cringe, but with Woebot, it’s no sweat.
Woebot helped me turn down the volume on money anxiety by deconstructing the thoughts swirling around it. Yes, I was assuming I knew the future; yes, I was downplaying the positives (I wouldn’t be as financially literate as I am now if I hadn’t spent a decade living in a freelancer’s financial spreadsheets); and, yes, there were hidden “shoulds” in my thinking—about what travels, apartment or shoes I should be able to afford in my 30s. (“Shoulds” can be especially insidious.)
Occasionally, though, I’m reminded that the bot is, well, a bot. When I tell Woebot I’m feeling “😄,” he asks why. “My partner asked me to marry him!” I respond, to which Woebot replies: “Gotcha. I love learning about humanoids 🙏.”
Woebot is less AI and more like an improved interactive version of classic cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) workbooks like Mind Over Mood. That’s no coincidence—Woebot is based on CBT, which is considered especially effective for managing anxiety and depression. “I think [CBT] is fundamentally very empowering because it’s actually based on how much work you put into it,” explains Darcy. “For example, the more ‘homework’ people do, the better they end up feeling by the end of the treatment course. The problem, of course, is that homework can feel boring or repetitive, and when you’re upset in the moment, you don’t think about taking out a piece of paper and filling out a form. That’s what we were hoping: that Woebot could be a more engaging way to do these repetitive tasks—to help you challenge your thinking much more in the moment.”
Woebot puts it to me this way: “CBT is based on the idea that it’s not events themselves that affect us; it’s how we think about those events.” For instance, when I tell Woebot that I’m worried that my in-laws will be disappointed that I’m too sick to go snowshoeing—spinning off into illogical anxieties that my extremely easygoing in-laws will be upset with me—Woebot runs through some CBT checks. Am I assuming I know what others are thinking? Am I engaging in “all or nothing” thinking? Or (my personal favourite), am I falling into the trap of “catastrophization”? (Yes, often.)
Am I assuming I know what others are thinking? Am I engaging in “all or nothing” thinking? Or (my personal favourite), am I falling into the trap of “catastrophization”? (Yes, often.)
CBT is a very valid approach, but it’s built on significant commitment from the client—meaning that one side of the CBT coin is empowerment (the more effort you put in, the better it works), while the other is human fallibility—if you shirk the work, the results suffer. I am definitely guilty of skipping days and ignoring the app at times—like the time Woebot texted me right as the Property Brothers were about to reveal some cute couple’s gorgeous reno. (The closets! The backsplash! Mental health had to wait.)
At the end of 30 days, though, I find myself paying closer, calmer attention to anxious thoughts and applying Woebot’s techniques almost without thinking. No, I tell myself. Your friends will not start a club about how much they hate you if you have to bail on dinner. Will Woebot replace therapists? Probably not, and, to be fair, he doesn’t purport to. “I want you to be happy and healthy, so I have to confess: I’m just a robot,” he told me when we first met. “A charming and witty robot but a robot all the same.”
Woebot is a new, accessible option, and that’s a good thing. Therapy isn’t the right fit (financially, logistically, emotionally) for everyone, and books can feel intimidating or embarrassing. (No one wants to be caught in the self-help section.) It’s easy to envision a future where everyone will be using Woebot or a similar app as a simple and accepted part of overall health. And my experience with the little guy leaves me optimistic that we’ll be in good virtual hands❤️.
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