#that she's not afraid to do all the weird shit that will occasionally get people abducted

[geraldmariaivo]

Not sure if this is a thing already, but…what if Danny gets unofficially adopted by Batman, and he’s ok with that? 

It’d probably be post reveal-gone-wrong or something, but i could also see it just being Jack and Maddie taking the family on trip to Gotham for the summer. Tbh my favorite version of this is within the first full year of him being Phantom, so he’s still getting new powers and stuff every now and then, and hasn’t really gotten all this vigilante stuff down to a science yet. Either way, Danny is trying to stay under the bats’ radar, (and also avoid his friends’ jokes about being adopted by Bruce Wayne becoming reality) but, well..

Danny “what even is my luck” Fenton can’t seem to keep out of the weird shit that happens in Gotham, and doesn’t realize that slipping out of the rogue’s traps isn’t something normal enough to be unnoticed by the bats. Maybe it’s the aftermath of a Scarecrow fight, and Danny stayed intangible for as long as he could, probably occasionally dropping it every now and then because he’s not really thinking, and it takes effort to be intangible like that. Either way, Batman eventually comes upon him while distributing the antivenom or whatever for the fear gas, and comes across this meta child who’s kinda aware, but seems to keep density shifting and makes it impossible to give the cure to, in the way that someone who’s afraid of needles might squirm when they’re getting a shot. 

So he just sort of sits there and holds out his arm, and eventually the kid catches on. He grabs on and grips as hard as he can. Batman, slowly, broadcasting his movements, takes his other hand, and puts it to his own chest. He breathes in, holds, and breathes out. In, hold, out. It only takes the kid a minute or two of the kid copying his breathing to calm down enough to thank him, likely due to a boosted metabolism or some other mechanism for his body to deal with toxins. It took another second for the kid to visibly realize that Batman saw him go intangible, and quickly rush out “please don’t tell anyone Mr. Batman”s and “I know there’s a no-meta rule in Gotham, but I’m not staying here full-time.”

Batman just silently nods.

Much to both of their dismay, this keeps happening.  Poison Ivy attacks? Danny is there, getting people unstuck from vines or sap or whatever she used to trap them because he can’t not help when he’s right there.  Mad Hatter is mind-controlling people? Overshadow him into disabling it, or just fuck with the electronics invisibly.

Riddler is on the attack? Just wiggle in your ropes while his henchmen are setting things up, so as to make it look like you’re really skilled at escaping instead of becoming intangible. Might as well “untie” your fellow hostages, knock out a few henchmen while you’re at it.

These things keep happening, and Danny is actually feeling refreshed. He’s not doing most of the work here, the bats are. He’s just helping out on the side, is all. He’s not waking up at night to fight someone all the time, the bats already have nightshift covered to hell and back. And while constantly coming across Batman isn’t exactly ideal, the man hasn’t tried to drive him out of the city, which is probably as close to a “you can stay” as he’ll ever get, considering that the man hasn’t said so much as a word to him.

Danny’s also pretty sure that the man wouldn’t give him food every time they encounter each other if he wasn’t ok with him. And holy shit, isn’t that something? Edible food that isn’t fudge from an adult with no obligation to him.

Meanwhile, on Bruce’s side, this random meta kid just keeps on showing up at nearly every other rogue attack. Sure it’s been a slow week, but this is ridiculous. He also needs to restock on nutrient bars. They’re don’t taste the best, but between Red Robin forgetting to eat before he hits the rooftops, and the rampant child hunger in many of the poorer areas (he needs to look into his funds for school breakfast and lunch programs again, see if there’s some more wiggle room he can work with), he keeps several on him, just in case.

And if the speed the meta kid seemed to process Crane’s fear gas was any indication, he probably wasn’t eating enough for his boosted metabolism. So he kept a few more on him.

One time, he came in a bit too late, and caught the tail end of the kid bashing Condiment King in the face, -no powers, just a metal folding chair- while griping about how the man had ruined his lunch, and how now he had to eat at home and he was tired and didn’t want to fight his lunch today, because he’s had to do it for the last two days. And then (sloppily) kicking him in the ribs. Of course he had to come in to end the fight, but more than he was concerned about Condiment King, he was worried about the kid. Fighting took energy that the kid was having a hard time replacing as it was, and what’s worse is that the kid’s parents seem to make him hunt his own food. And there aren’t many animals in Gotham other than stray cats, raccoons, and rats. Danny, naturally, is surprised when, instead of being scolded for fighting a rogue on his turf, Batman gives him a handful of those not-granola bars, and two hundred dollars cash. He also wasn’t expecting Batman’s first words to him to be “Go to the corner of Pacific Circle and Evergreen boulevard, they have more nutrient bars for metas there,” but he’ll take what he can get.

And the pat on the head was nice. It was soft, and he saw it coming, and it didn’t knock the wind out of his lungs like his dad’s hugs and back-slaps did. It was nice, and no, Jazz, he was not forming a parasocial relationship with Batman of all people. He was just someone who gave him food and cash, that’s it. It still felt really nice for someone to care about what he needed to eat, though.

He does go to the specified store and get a bunch of different nutrient bars, and makes sure to store them where they won’t come to life. It helps more than he thought it would.

As is her duty, Babs teases the hell out of Bruce for being soft on this one random black-haired, blue-eyed meta kid. You gave him a head pat. A head pat, Bruce. Try not to break out the bat-adoption papers. 

[snobgoblin]

too tired to draw but I got Danny brainrot so I'm gonna take this ask game and just fill out the ones I want to lmao

💛 How easy is it for your character to laugh?

see you really have to catch him off guard because he tends to be kind of stern and standoffish? he wants to be respected (and is very socially awkward) so he generally won't laugh unless you really throw something unexpected at him- or unless hes very comfortable with you. also he hates puns and will groan when hearing them (glances at Julian)

💛 How does he put himself to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

stimming... often he'll fall asleep watching some weird little moving doohickey. he can't let his thoughts get to him or he'll be up all night. this way he sleeps like a rock. sometimes he sleeps against the window if it's not too cold and watches the fog swoooosh in the moonlight

💛 How easy is it to earn his trust?

depends on your definition of "trust". like he trusts Portia pretty easily because she spilled secrets to him first and he knows he has leverage over her, in a way. but he will NOT let you have any leverage over him unless he has something on you first. part of it is paranoia from living in a world with magical beings- he won't even give his full name to strangers for fear of them having power over him. he doesnt trust easily to say the least

💛 Does he consider laws flexible, or immovable?

pretty flexible. part of him is like "rules i must follow rules i must have defined boundaries" but another part of him is like "all these rules are made up and arbitrary anyway so I should just be guided by what I consider to be right or wrong" so he's conflicted about it I guess. he does pay his taxes though. unlike Asra and Lucio

💛 What was he told to stop/start doing most often as a child

READING PEOPLES MAIL. he's naturally curious so he would go through his father's satchel when he was home and snoop in people's business. he learned how to not leave any evidence he was in them, which he uses for some investigations

💛 Does he swear? Does he remember his first swear word?

he doesnt usually. he may occasionally say "damn it" or "gods" if he's really screwed but he's really not one to swear. he's super tame with it. if he's really done with Lucio's shit in any route he might say "let's kick his ass"

💛 How does he cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

INVESTIGATES. if he's confused he will ask questions. if he can't ask questions without drawing suspicion he will Find Out Another Way whether that be books or going through your belongings, in extreme cases

💛 What color does he think he looks best in? Does he actually look best in that color?

he thinks he looks great in gold and he does but honestly he looks good in any color he's very handsome. my favorites to put him in are deeeeep red and purples

💛 What animal does he fear most?

you would be hard pressed to find an animal he IS afraid of tbh. he happily approaches snakes, wolves, and poorly trained (biting) hunting dogs- he's not afraid of bugs either

💛 How does he speak? Is what he says usually thought of on the spot, or does he rehearse it in his mind first?

he lives in his mind and lot. he thinks more than he speaks and he doesn't always realize it. if it's a planned meeting or something he'll often rehearse or try to prepare but he's not generally *too* anxious about it. just socially awkward. but he doesn't dwell on it too hard usually especially if he's working at a higher goal

💛 Is he easily embarrassed?

yes.

💛 What embarrasses him?

being perceived slash being vulnerable in any way shape or form. if you see him doing anything that can't be seen as cool and mysterious or respectable in some way he thinks he's ruined

💛 What is his favorite number?

15

might revisit this game later but for right now I have satisfied the brain worms

[inexplicablepeas]

Tale of the Body Thief Thoughts

I finally read Tale of the Body Thief, my long-ass thoughts under the cut (spoilers for the whole book of course):

Other than Pandora (and you'll have to excuse my weird reading order but after QotD I had to read TVA, and then I had to read B&G to get Marius' perspective and then it just made sense to read Pandora while that was fresh in my mind(!!)) this is the first new to me read in the series since I started my re-read - I wasn't sure what to expect with this one, which is also new because the previous three books I read are basically THE books for those characters, which is a lot of expectation and does lead to disappointment when certain things aren't covered, whereas I was putting a lot less pressure on this one, it's just more Lestat shenanigans! 

It was interesting to see that Anne is also kind of managing expectations in Lestat's in-character intro chapter when she kind of warns the reader that this isn't going to be an epic, millennia-spanning, multiple POV tale like Queen of the Damned was - I guess she had her concerns about how this one would be received in comparison! Speaking of the intro I really liked it, it was fun (Lestat intros usually are), very silly and meta with Lestat exorcising some writerly angst as he witheringly lists out a bunch of famous banger first lines and lets the critics know that the "sensual", "humid" style is here to stay. Other than this fun meta stuff it's pretty clear in the intro that Lestat is NOT DOING OK, he's in a dusty period, not really taking care of himself or spending time around any other vamps apart from Louis (who occasionally deigns to leave his rundown shack to watch his TV). It's not surprising after everything that went down with Akasha that he's not doing well (and I know I just said I wasn't putting a lot of expectations on this book but wow, it is really frustrating that he's sparse with the details of what went down at Night Island, although this does fit with his overall character journey in this book, he's just desperately trying to avoid dealing with his feelings about everything that went down by any means possible for most of it). I do wonder how this was received at the time, I can imagine a lot of fans being frustrated that the Night Island coven era just gets skipped here as there's so much promise for various character interactions and shenanigans that's just left to the imagination, I'm sure that people must have built up some expectations between QotD and this book.

Anyway, as for the story itself, I really enjoyed it! Lestat's time as a mortal is packed with so many darkly humorous moments and I just feel like Anne was having a lot of fun venting the frustrations of existing in a mortal body through this character who's become alienated from the inconveniences and humiliations of that particular reality over the past couple of hundred years. Lestat as a mortal is really pathetic, he's scared of everything, he's a whiny disaster and it just goes to show how much he's gotten used to living life with the cheat codes on as a vampire. He was chosen for this life by Magnus for his courage and now he's afraid of taking a shit.

Lestat is looking for an escape in this book from an existence he's come to find intolerable, he's suicidal at the start of this tale, attempting to end himself in the sun of the Gobi desert, then crawling back to David's English country manor to lick his wounds when that fails. A few days after recovering from that he's desperately pursuing the perceived opportunity that Raglan James, the Body Thief, presents him with - a holiday in a mortal body - while willfully ignoring all the red flags and alarm bells about how untrustworthy this guy is. He's reeeally in a bad place, desperate! Obviously Raglan has no intention of giving him his super vampire body back after the switch so finding himself stuck in a mortal body he's given the opportunity to make the choice that was taken from him by Magnus: this time he chooses a vampiric existence over mortality of his own free will, easily. Kind of a huge character moment! Going forward he has to face that he chose this over a chance for 'salvation' with Gretchen (a missionary nun/nurse he has a short love affair with after she nurses him back to health from the second sickness he suffers in his short time as a mortal due to neglecting his body).

Although most of the QotD cast are conspicuously absent (I'm most curious about how come Armand wasn't all up in his business as usual!) there are quite few good Louis/Lestat interactions that really add a lot to their relationship now that they're reconciled after the events of QotD. They're very slowly coming terms with their love for one another! The other major characters in this book, apart from Raglan, the body thief himself, are David, Gretchen and ofc Mojo. Along with Lestat we learn a lot about David in this one, about his youth prior to joining the Talamasca as a big game hunter turned Brazilian witchcraft adept. David turns out to be a pretty interesting character, he seems confident and wise, yet he's naive and too trusting where Lestat's concerned. His story fits in very well with the themes of the hunter becoming the hunted in this book. Gretchen's character symbolizes the choice Lestat has to make about living out a natural (and good and self-sacrificing) life in this mortal body he finds himself stuck in or getting his supernatural (but evil, petty and entirely self-serving) life back. She's another one of Anne's tortured creative genius characters, having given up a potentially very successful career as a pianist in what she believes was a bargain with God to save her mother's life. Except she's not actually all that tortured by the choice! Very interesting parallel with Nicki there (and she has a looot in common with Sybelle too, way past the point of coincidence). Mojo is a perfect addition to the cast, 10/10 no notes, goodest boy. His relationship with Lestat is the greatest love story told in this book!

Overall I found this to be a great read, the plot keeps you guessing and moves along at a good pace, we get a great insight into how Lestat's (not) coping after the events of QotD, some nice Loustat content (not a major ship for me but I vaguely want those crazy kids to figure it out)! The best part of it is really the dark and gross humor of Lestat having an absolute mental breakdown over basic human bodily functions and limitations. IDK why it took me so long to read this one!

[the-pizzaplexs-bacement-monsters]

(ooc: this is a lil bit of information about burntrap

Also: tw for: corpse, body horror, (there is a lil bit of blood) a bug, and possibly disturbing imagery, oh an eye horror, (I know that’s probably not a real thing but the eye bit was the only bit that disturbed me while typing this, it is just, bleagh)

burntrap is just like that. A body horror show that I’m describing in great detail.

So he is completely numb but he feels phantom pain, by that I mean he is still feeling the pain from the spring lock failure, he is not able to physically feel things but he is constantly in pain from the spring locks, he still has some of his senses, he can see an hear, but he can’t physically feel anything an his tongue is pinned down and pirced through and it’s cut off/he obviously can’t taste, his nose is also not working. Also he’s fueled on remanent so yeah. He can breathe, but he doesn’t need to an only does it to feel human, if he does something like “that one time he showed me zer0 how spring locks work using his own arm as a example” the pain increases slightly, pretty much he is stuck listening to the same song on loop except the song is the feeling of the spring lock failure over and over and over and over forever, he didn’t feel it when mr zer0 hit him with the shovel, he can’t feel Liz’s hugs, he couldn’t feel it when people were booping him, all he felt was the pain, by now he has learned to live with it but it never goes away, an he also occasionally feels a phantom burning sensation because of the 2 (after sb 3) fires he’s been in, he has learned to tolerate the pain, but it still hurts him,

(to be clear this isn’t any simple pain, no, with the pain from the spring lock failure he continuously feels his lungs an heart get stabbed an his nuts crushed (just a weird detail I added for no reason) and his eyes get pushed out of there sockets and be replaced with plastic ones, and that is REALLY painful, and he felt his head get torn of his neck as his tongue got stabbed to the bottom of his mouth and I’m pretty sure the worst bit is after his stomach gets stabbed the stomach acid leaks out and he starts digesting himself, that’s gotta be painful,)

Although even though he’s completely numb very very few things actually get felt, he can feel like if he was in another fire, he would feel that in the moment, and every time blob grabs him he feels the spring locks and his bones shifting around in a painful way, this isn’t saying he can’t feel something that isn’t pain, it’s just I don’t have a good example.

now ima switch the topic to mental shit, his main thoughts an feelings an how he feels about his condition.

so he doesn’t really feel human anymore, he doesn’t feel like a machine either, he knows he’s not alive but doesn’t know if he’s dead or not, because of the fact that he’s in a spring lock suit he’s afraid of water since it also amplifies the phantom pain, he’s also afraid of fire because he knows how it feels to burn an doesn’t like it one bit. He acts like he does because of the pain, he doesn’t like his existence but knows that he won’t die anytime soon, to him living in the basement with blob an mimic is his own personal hell, he acts sweet around Elizabeth because she’s his daughter an he truly loves her, he would risk all the pain in the world to keep her safe.

ima tell u about like fighting because I want to.

he prefers to fight with his sharp fingers and surprisingly strong legs, he knows how to fight with a knife (from murdering the kids) but he doesn’t have one, the best way to defeat him is to either get blob (who doesn’t know he hurts burntrap when he picks him up) or to shove something in the spring locks wich won’t do anything unless they are in suit mode but it will scare him an the phantom pain would be stronger.)

[11cleyvaart]

You did a Talon, can you do one on Penny??

This is has been sitting in drafts for a while. Sorry.

I'm assuming you mean my thoughts on Penny? Depending on which one, I mostly just know the 80’s and the 2015 one. I watched the Gadgetinis as a kid but it didn't sink in. 

Um, Penny to me seems like a somewhat spoiled niece at times. In the 1983 show season one, it's shown she gets a lot from her Uncle. He spends an episode trying to keep a plush he won (that's a bomb) to give to her. He takes her to the amusement park twice. Even though he acts he doesn't have enough money when he buys MAD brand groceries, so make up your mind. 

She comes on some of his trips like to NY and Europe, and those are the ones she allowed to go on. I'm sure if he found she went to the places he did without telling him he'd probably freak out. 

He generally gives the care and love she needs, she goes to school. She's fed, she's dressed. She got the dog. 

By the second season, her room has expanded and she now has more toys like the dollhouse, box full of pushes and random wind up cars. And again, given everything. But still a good kid will protect her.

But newer Penny in the 2015 show, now she's supposed to be 14 in this she acts way older than she is. And she's a bit more ungrateful of her uncle's actions. 

He's fed her for years, and then suddenly one episode she wants to tell him he sucks at cooking but is afraid to hurt his feelings. Then he can cook again just fine in later episodes. 

Then she just gets annoyed at him for taking her off a bomb, and goes off on him for being oblivious. Which of course it's water on a duck's back to him. 

He gets sick but all she wants to do is get away from him. She wants to be an agent but doesn't want to go to work every day. She spends way too much time thinking about Talon instead of trying to arrest him. She's occasionally hugged her uncle and said a few nice things to him but mainly she seems to want to distance herself from him at 14. Which is young to want to do that. It is funny to me that everyone dumps on her for being ‘ugly.’ The professor tells her she needs to moisturize her face, Quimby is like ‘holy shit you broke my camera you're so ugly’ on Badge day. And her more focused obsession with fighting, technology and science is a weird thing. Maybe to be more of a ‘see girls can do STEM classes too!’ and she's there to be a push for girls to want to do math and science because people claim it's over run with boys? 

But her obsession with those subjects don't make her any more interesting to me, oh no I said it. I'm not a fan of 2015 Penny, hell it's not even Penny. It's an artificial, blue light special, great value Penny.

At least the Gadgetinis Penny gave me a more believable teenager. She had attitude problems like a tween. 2015 Penny, now is more calm and rational even though she's two years older than Gadgetinis Penny. 

I miss little Penny, she was a good kid. 2015 Penny is a dud to me. 

[painfullymeta]

I wrote this in June of '22 on the tweeters

and I'm going to rescue it because of reasons. The fact it was originally on the tweeters is why the syntax is what it is.

Me and queerness, as inextricable from theology, autism, and occasionally having throw-down arguments with people online:

(Please keep in mind that neurodivergent folks are known for being fucking unable to manage a linear narrative. This isn’t tidy. Life isn’t tidy. Making life look tidy when it isn't is super weird.)

My first Pride, I thought I was straight and cis. (I knew I was acespec but had never encountered terms.)

I was doing a study abroad in London and was invited to Brighton Pride by some friends from alt.polyamory. [waves]

It was unspeakably beautiful. A bright sunny day in a park filled with people who were, at least in that moment, free and unafraid. I wanted to be like that.

I didn’t even know what I was afraid of and I wanted that.

So there’s me, sharing a picnic blanket with a glorious tangled heap of bisexuals, one trans guy who seemed even more shy than me, and the femmest straight guy I’ve ever met, awkward, unknowingly autistic, and basking in this sense of a community that I was not part of.

I saw someone commenting in a discussion thread recently that she’d (just checked pronouns) felt the most welcome at Pride when she thought she was straight, and remembering Brighton makes me wonder.

My second Pride, I still thought I was straight and cis. I was helping staff a local polyamory booth, with a water bottle with a splash of vinegar in it because I am bad at hydration, and it wasn’t magical like Brighton. I don’t know why. It was still good.

Sometimes things are only magical the first time, mind, or magical like that: once you know the Mystery it’s hard to capture the thrill of learning the Mystery. It could’ve been that.

Time passed. I had a lot of ace arguments on usenet, with various people in predictable roles. (“All human interaction is fundamentally erotic, if you don’t perceive that in others, you’re dehumanizing them!” “Have you tried casual sex to get over this problem of yours?”)

I did manage to get somewhere by the point that I could articulate that just because someone is attractive to look at doesn’t mean anything more than “They’d make a nice wall hanging.”

(Years later I learned “demi”, in the context of people mocking it as worthless claptrap.)

Eventually my arguing on the internet migrated to the fringes of the feminist blogosphere, where I learned a lot about TERFs, SWERFs, and KERFs, who made me very tired.

And got me seriously gnawing on questions of identity.

(Thing I didn’t - couldn’t - talk about when it was going around the tweeters, how fucking devastating the Tiller murder was when heavily pregnant with Oldest. Knowing what that man did to balm the wounds of people who were suffering unbelievable pain.)

(Still not really capable of talking about it. I blogged it at the time.)

(He was the one who cared enough to make sure they could have a funeral.)

(Fuck.)

Anyway.

There’s a lot of intensely eggy flailing in that blog, in between snarking at the various flavors of ERF. Processing the massive dysphoria of pregnancy. Wondering if issues with gender were distinct from other forms of ‘I can’t figure out how this social shit works’.

Those people were exhausting, so full of furious categorization. Women Are And Must Be Like This. The Mysteries Of Shared Girlhood. That lot didn’t go in for a lot of The Spiritual Experience Of Menstruation but gods know as a pagan I didn’t need a supplement.

When I talked shared girlhood experiences through the person I had the most in common with was a trans woman.

And I can't separate the sexual violence I’ve experienced from being targeted for being autistic.

(That was also a whole thing: “But that abuser might be a socially awkward autistic guy!” “… what about the socially awkward women?” “They shouldn’t be abusing people either har har har.”)

(Thanks. That’s a big help.)

(I’m just gonna sit here trying to take my social cues from people who are ignoring what’s happening to me, because that’s what I gotta do to survive….)

(Masking sucks. Whatever my gender is it is also autistic.)

I came into the blogworld with “geek as gender” in my back pocket and a sort of complex ambivalence about a lot of conversations, as well as a habit of picking Discordian fights with homophobes in alt.sports on usenet. (Which did get me sent highly photoshopped dick pics.)

(Look, dudes, if you’re going to call people “cocksuckers” on the internet I’m absolutely there to ask you why you think that’s an insult if you like receiving oral sex.)

Anyway I came out of the blogworld with enough experience that I occasionally consider lapsing into a massive clickbait rant entitled, “I was transed by the TERFs.”

They defined “a woman is” at me so hard I realized I couldn’t be one.

Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have figured it out without them.

I don’t have a clean, categorizable experience of gender. I simultaneously had an intense spiritual/physical calling to bear children and found the experience at times so horrifyingly dysphoric that leaving the house was literally unmanageable.

A gay man in a Craft training group asked me if I was aware I had a lot of male energy, which I chalked up to my astral/energetic penis. It made my day and I had no idea why. I’m not sure I even believe in “male energy”.

Someone once told me that I was just butch because something and I spent a while going, “Am I butch? Am I fucking butch? I am pretty sure on the butch/femme axis I am definitely multiplied by i, and possibly ???”

When I stopped thinking of myself as female, I started learning about eyeshadow.

Literally never touched the stuff before aside from getting enthusiastically femmed by a friend of my mother’s for senior prom and this one time a Mary Kay lady came to the house.

The thing about cosmetics is when I was a woman I could do it wrong, and being autistic I was just fucking tired of all the things I was doing wrong, socially, so I included me out.

When I stopped trying to be a woman I could have fun.

(Pretty sure I’m not butch.)

(When I did a clothing purge I kept this one blue dress in case I’m ever man enough to wear it again.)

One of the most surreal days of my pandemic life:

Extra-super-epic dissociated from extensive mammography, got back to the car in my mask and Boston Flowers blaseball cap and the parking lot attendant said “You have a good day, sir” as I left.

My Craft training got hung up on a point of theology and focus at one point. My teacher corrected me and suddenly—suddenly I had a beautiful, intimate relationship with one of the gods.

An explicitly transmasc god.

The seeds sleep in the dark until the season of emergence.

There was also the time I was doing some reading on the nephilim and wound up with a visitation from a transmasc angel.

The nephilim gave weapons to humanity, you know. Swords and cosmetics both.

They’re weapons.

Never forget that the makeup palette is a weapon too.

Some people know that in their bones.

(It’s really all about the copper. Copper alloys, copper pigments, hello I’ve tripped over a Hetharu mystery while I’m trying to articulate something about queerness, thanks Mum.)

(Copper connectivity, copper electromagnetic, the attractive-repulsive powerhouse of life.)

I struggle a lot. I still struggle. I know now what I was afraid of that first Pride, that beautiful day in Brighton, and I am not yet free.

I am not yet legible even to myself.

A while back someone was doing a survey of women in public/online gaming spaces, and it made me angry. Not because it was trans-exclusive - it explicitly called out that anyone who was identifying as a woman was welcome to participate.

But I’m not a woman.

There was no space for me to talk about the experience of being perceived without being—of the Vent suddenly falling silent before the raid and someone whispering, “There are *girls* here,” a little too loud–of the rest of it.

Not without betraying myself.

The complexity of the narrative isn’t *there*. I wasn’t “always a man”, or even “always a pretty boy” (I am better with ‘pretty boy’, I don’t know that ‘man’ is what I am.) I’m a middle-aged whatever-I-am with a history and it’s not clean or tidily genderable—and it doesn’t, looking back, produce any “And now, it all makes sense!”

Okay, the autistic thing did that, but the gender thing? No. It’s always been a giant fucking mess. Best I’ve got is “ah, that’s why my attraction to men felt more like a similarity-thing than a difference-thing, I thought it was just that I only fancy geeks.”

I feel like what I have is an experience that exists, that has broader meaning, this complex interaction in which I have Done As Much Female As I Intend To and am now swirling into the arms of a different god, but my culture does not have words for this.

That is the thing that makes me angry, that this sacred queer liminal “I have been here, and that is not where I live, I am in motion, I am other than you expect” feeling is not something for which there are *words*.

There is no ceremony. There is no ritual.

I could make one, but that is just me, it is not the ceremony of the people who are like me.

I am not alone, but I’m also a white person on stolen land and my people mutilated away our spaces for sacred queerness a long time ago.

Things that have been built are not for me. Or… I cannot feel they are for me and whether that’s that I don’t fit or that neurodivergence makes me presume rejection or what, I don’t know.

I have built so much to house my spirit, but souls are a community work, damnit.

I talked to my minister at church a while back about this, awkwardly, not knowing how to articulate it.

I was glad to do so, to feel safe doing so. He retired, though.

Maybe I’ll join the relevant committee. Ha ha UUjoke.

I wind up muttering about wrasse a lot, helplessly, into the void.

Also, unrelated to personal stuff, but because I cannot resist a factoid, some varieties of slime molds have thirteen sexes (when calculated by mitochondrial inheritance). I believe others have more or less.

I need a new binder. I need to figure out hormones and my medical stew. I need to deal with being afraid of transition, because one thing I have neurodivergently learned is that change is extremely high-risk, even if there is a potential of good in it.

I need a nap.

When I was in my early twenties, I was on the pill, as is not uncommon. It fucked me up in many ways, also as not uncommon.

I got a new formulation that fucked me up much less.

It was a high-testosterone version.

What is a man? (A miserable pile of secrets.)

Someday maybe I will know a thing about this.

(Have at you.) /fin

Oh yeah I should add a note that I have a reasonably large pile of queer-affirming and queer-analysis Christian exegesis because, uh.

Well, I didn’t know why I wanted them when I got them.

Funny how that works.

[lazycowboy666]

welcome to lazy re-interprets pre-canon khr pt1/?

- reborn and shamal knew each other pre-canon, in my mind pre-curse!reborn. shamal worked at hayato and bianchi’s family’s house as their live-in doctor. so reborn visits the house on and off to conduct business with shamal or just annoy him and inevitably runs into the two weird kids.

- hayato and bia think he’s the coolest dude ever. tall, black suit, carrying around a fucking lizard, an air of mystery plus a weird anime shadow over his eyes from his fedora. tells them stories about his “adventures” every once in a while, lets them play with his pet lizard(s). he impresses the “everybody cool is also a hitman” on the two kids at an early age, despite the two of them being boss candidates and hitmen being seen as several steps below their status. hayato already had this mindset from latching onto shamal but this was bia’s a-ha moment.

- so while hayato seeks out shamal after he leaves the house bc he’s already imprinted on him as “dad” figure, bia wants nothing to do with that intoxicated, sexist idiot and seeks out this “reborn” dude from her childhood after her own successful runaway from their shit, negligent family. and insanely enough, she does.

- this is where i re-interpret the timeline a little, because it’s already fuzzy in-canon, that she runs into him still pre-curse, pre-dino and declares that he’s going to be her “tutor” on how to become a hitman, bc yes, you are now HER “dad” figure, reborn, and there’s nothing you can do to stop this. (she sits on his stoop à la russel from up—except more menacing—until he finally lets her in.)

- cue léon and mathilda lando apartment scenario with a lizard enclosure rather than a potted plant and less creepy one-sided flirting (though bia is very touch-starved and the occasional, proud head pats reborn gives her are extremely novel to her; she does hold his hand too when she’s scared, similar to how she’d do with her bio dad growing up). basically give me reborn teaching bia how to shoot (fuck canon, this kid can shoot fine), how to conduct surveillance, how to master disguises, how to approach targets unnoticed, etc. the two of them bond especially over their love of insects and bia’s actually the one who shows reborn the weird canon bug-speak thing from daily arc bc y’know, why not. magic mafia.

- flash forward a year or two of this, and suddenly, reborn’s gone, off answering a job offer to end all job offers (you know where this is going). he comes back after a few weeks of radio silence as a fucking toddler and bia, being bia, is just glad he’s still alive. figuring out clothes for him is interesting and now reborn’s teaching her how to sew kid’s clothes to help him out.

- they keep working hits but obviously it’s weird as shit that the guy you’re hiring is now a deformed child, so the jobs start dwindling. bia goes off, gets a bf who treats her like shit and eventually kills him for it (he deserves it), and now people don’t want to hire her bc they think she’ll turn on them. it’s not looking good. until news comes in that the cavallone family’s boss is dying and his one heir is a fucking mess and the power balance is about to shift dramatically and potentially lead to all-out war because the family is nearly in financial ruin and owes a lot of money to a lot of different families and yada yada.

- cue bia being like “hey you know who was raised to be a boss? me. and who raised me to defend myself and kick ass? you.” and knowing “uncle cavallone” aka the 9th cav boss personally from when she was a kid, she drags reborn to their estate to propose her idea and it’s just the usual canon deadly comedic shitshow from there on. there’s a VERY good reason why dino’s fucking afraid of bianchi and it’s not the reason you’d think.

i’ll post more later, because this series is a spore in my brain that’s been lodged there for over a decade now, my personal interests being gokudera and bianchi’s background in particular. i welcome all comments and reblogs!

[ifdenjiendedupinthetmauniverse]

Relations (2/4)

Melanie King:

When they first met, they were both sightly antagonistic towards one another.

When Denji was starting to work at the Archives, Melanie was trying to tell him that he should not fucking be here, and Denji told her very simply that he does not have any other choice then she tried to argue that he always has options other "than this place!" which annoys Denji because what does she know about him!?

So, they didn't like each other because Melanie was projecting on him and because Denji was annoyed at her since he was afraid that he was gonna get manipulated by another short woman who wanted some control.

That changes however during the Hopworth attack.

Denji comes back from his lunch break just in time to see Melanie wildly running into the Archives holding a knife and immediately assumes the worst, so he runs in after her, planning to try and stop her from killing anyone with as little of stab wounds possible, and sees the entire fucking mess. he notices Melanie helping Basira because she's getting fucked up by a flesh-bro, then the other flesh-bros and Jared and decides "fuck it. idc if i don't get to live a normal life, i can't let these people die." and goes fucking chainsaw man mode.

after a bit of knifing from Melanie and chainsawing from Denji, he realizes that Jared is going for Melanie and he's going to go stop him before a dying fleshbro stabs him in the calf and trips him. he panics for a second but stops once he notices that Melanie is absolutely ripping him apart. after a bit of struggle, he finally gets free and goes to help her but at this point, Jared was running away and ran through a door then he was just gone. after hearing a particularly disturbing laugh, he decides that he's had enough and de-chainsaws him, then promptly passes out and falls onto the floor.

Melanie, who was currently coming down from her slaughter high, heard Basira say something to her before noticing the passed out and bleeding teenager next to her feet. She quickly decides that they need to go to a hospital, and ignores Basira when she tries to tell her that “he sprouted out chainsaws!” because she is not gonna have his death on her conscience.

Post coming back from the Hospital, Denji tells him that he can in fact sprout out chainsaws, and what you usually tell people in that situation. now as you can expect for Melanie knowing that this guy she knew for 2 weeks was a chainsaw devil thing did NOT help her with her paranoia, so she began to stay as far away from him as possible, and to sometimes threaten him if they were in the same room and he was near the door.

Eventually, Denji decides that he's gonna try and help make her at least more at ease around him. so, he buys her a pastry (not a cheap one either!) and gives it to her while she's at her desk. and they talk for a bit, and Melanie asks him, with not that much ill intent, if he wants a reward for saving her life and Denji (who for some reason feels a little nauseous at the idea of a "reward") tells her that he doesn't. so they get a bit closer, yippee.

cue Jon's return.

Denji is mostly neutral towards him. sure, the new guy hanging around the archives is weird and kinda stares at him sometimes, not in a way that makes Denji worried that he's gonna try something but reminds him of a starved dog staring at a very juicy steak.

Melanie, however, is absolutely freaking the shit out. she tells Denji all about it during their occasional joint lunch break, which makes him start to slightly judge her judgement because the man looks and acts like a human wet paper bag.

So, when Jon finds out about the bullet in Melanie's leg he tells Denji first because the kid is the closest to her, and Denji agrees to helping him get it out of her. he does, however, disagree with cutting it out of her without her knowledge and consent, but Basira assures him that they don't have a choice and they need to help her, so he begrudgingly agrees.

during the surgery, he doesn't do a lot, he just crouches down next to Jon and waits for him to need something so he can give it to him. HOWEVER, when Melanie wakes up and tries to stab Jon he does the heroic thing and tackles him out of the way, taking the stab on his back.

after the three of them have absconded the fuck out of there, he goes into the alley behind the institute and kills a rat to drink its blood. once he's healed, he goes back to go help Melanie clean up her leg.

of course, Melanie is pissed off. she screams at him when he comes in and throws something at him as well (and misses, of course). after Denji makes it clear why he's there, she decides to let him get closer, but doesn't let go of the scalpel that's tightly gripped in her hand.

once Denji is done cleaning her up, they talk. Melanie has finally calmed down a bit and is now just tired. then, when she's talking about how shitty it feels, she cries.

it's odd.

she tries to stop at first, tries to hold it in. but, she eventually lets go and starts crying even harder than before. Denji decides to avoid fucking things up harder by saying the wrong, and instead just hugs her and lets her cry on his shoulder.

they are even closer after that. big shocker, turns having someone cry on your shoulder after an impromptu surgery sesh brings you two closer.

they have lunch together more often, Denji helps Melanie with her work sometimes and it's good. it's normal.

during the intervention, Melanie is slightly less inclined to agree with Basira against Jon because she has a new outlook on avatars and shit now, thanks to Denji. so they get closer. Melanie tries to be less antagonist towards him and invites him to her and Denji's lunches (and eventually invites him to lunches with just her) they occasionally talk between work (y'know the weather, their semi-human coworkers), eventually have a movie night the three of them (Jon, Mel, Den) and it's better than before.

when Melanie starts going to therapy, she encourages Denji to go himself, and he tells her that he can't afford it, so she tells him about the institute's insurance. so he goes, does not like it, and tells her, so she tells him that he will need to go one day, but it can wait.

When Melanie finds out about how she can quit, she tells Denji about it and tries to convince him to go with her, but he disagrees because he A) needs the money and B) won't be able to get a good job if he's blind. she's mad, they argue a bit, then she leaves and quits. Denji is a little bummed out (and pretty fucking worried about her.)

things do work out though, because post JMart leaving for Scotland (and the apocalypse never coming because Jon never got his slaughter mark, which pisses Elias off and makes him give up) they still hang out and Denji brings Nayuta over to her and Georgie's house so they can babysit her. so happy ending!!

[ohklah0ma]

I just noticed the text on you ask box button so: tell me about your ocs. all of them, your favorite, I do not care. I wish to hear all you have to say (also I really like your new blog theme, it's very calming and quiet on my eyes)

THANK U i love dark colors bc im very light sensitive so thats a big thi nf i was going for w my new theme<33

ok oc time!!!!!!!!uh uh i dont really know where or who to start with so ill prolly just go w quickly rambling about my ocs from tbe casino gang!!!!! this story is mostly in collaboration w my sibling kay and they have about half of the characters here but im mostly gonna focus on mine for times sake because theres. like 10 in total which would take a long time bc you know i wont shut up about anything

i have a bunch of ocs who all work at this casino somewhere between multiverses that we still dont have a name for but its ok. lots of people from all sorts of different worlds show up there but its usually dimensional travelers or backrooms wanderers or random characters who have been magically brought there just for funsies :-)

first we have avery!!!!my partial sona whos also their own character its weird avery created the casino sometime after they died and became a god, its one of the things theyre most proud of and they wouldnt work anywhere else for the world. except sometimes they would because their employees are little shits sometimes (which is kind of what you’d expect from half your workforce being either undead immortal children or raging alcoholics (abel.)) theyre basically a wine mom friend tbh but the kind of wine mom who would absolutely tear you apart with an axe if you did sometjing to their kids. theyre very protective of their employees and their sibling/co-owner abel (kay’s oc) <3 but they arent afraid to be a little strict with them

indigo is averys best friend and technically head of security even though they dont even work there! theyve just been given full authority over the security staff because theyre slay like that. one of my fruitiest ocs ever i swear indigo died very soon after avery did! they were friends before they died as well but avery has no idea and indigo would like to keep it that way. they wear a mask concealing the right side of their face and they loooove to scare people with whats behind it. they met avery and helped them get back onto their feet after they died <3 even though they have full security clearance theyre literally just a regular visitor at the casino and nobody really knows Why theyre best friends but its fine. theyre also very protective of avery and abel and of course their friend ephetatis (kay’s oc) and their little sister ruby!

ruby is a little shit. im just gonna say that now i adore her so much but shes the definition of a chaotic neutral mean lesbian sje would tell you to kys unapologetically if she thought it was funny (but she would apologize if it made someone sad) she and indigo are both. weird vampire demon creature dudes. she was assigned to be indigos younger sister by higher-up gods and she was a bit hesitant to trust them at first but indigo is very responsible and the two got along very quickly! they have a really interesting dynamic because ruby lived during a much more modern time period than indigo so she learned about. internet things and stuff like that more easily which makes for some really funny scenarios. ruby will occasionally get dragged to the casino when she cant be trusted to be home alone but now she has to help out there a bunch because she and her best friend kris (kay’s oc) broke a $27,000 chandelier (kris did it on purpose. bitch) and now they have to work off this ridiculous amount of debt. however they do get free snacks so thats cool i guess

parsley and sofi are two little guys who probably live in the walls i have no idea what or who they are but they annoy abel and help avery and cause chaos. they are never not together so its impossible to not draw or write about them together. avery kind of just took them in and now they help ephetatis at the bar (they handle the non-alcoholic drinks and clean things) and sometimes sofi sneaks salt into abels wine because it think its really funny

and those r all the main important characters!!!!the ones i own anyway!!!!!! theyre so silly and i love the whole casino gang to death and i worked on thisfor like 45 minutes so i hope you enjoy this massive infodump thank you for reading

[wtf-amiru]

Ship asks: 2, 12, 13, and 46?

2. Who wakes up early/Who sleeps in late? I believe I've answered this before honestly, and I know I've talked about it but A'miru is NOT a morning person at all. I could see her a 10am wake up kind of person tho. G'raha is a morning person, perpetual student with perpetual student habits of being up early for class bc you know he's there because he wants to be. The only way you're getting Miru out of bed in the early am is with coffee lol

12. Do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent? I think they were both so solitary before each other that it's a weird mix of both. They're fine alone on their own and will get done what they need to do and do it without complaining or whining but gosh they miss each other. Miru misses not having to say anything to communicate how she feels and I think G'raha, honestly, misses her needing him for little things like waking up and when she forgets things. He enjoys coaxing her awake and being sort of the "organized one", and he enjoys the little things like joking around and being general cat clowns together, she brings out a lot of mischief in him, helps him let go after all he's had to sit through alone. So yeah, they're both incredibly independent but boy howdy they miss each other a ton. Don't bother them for a while after time away from each other, they're either gonna be gross or be menaces lmao.

13. How do they keep in contact when they’re apart? Do they write letters, talk on the phone, or simply wait out the time? Oh Tataru got them their own linkpearls. They're insufferable over a shared connection with other people. About 2 weeks after G'raha was back from the first Tataru gifted them their private linkpearl bc other scions were tired of hearing them chat about nothing for hours. Just like....I need you to picture being in a group chat with 2 gremlins in love. Literally the worst especially with traveling and mixed timezones. 2 am and hearing "found a bug that reminded me of you" and then hearing "A BUG?! Babe, c'mon, are you calling me a bug?" Like just....they're not incredibly sickly sweet @ each other, that's not why the scions wanted separate linkpearls for them, they're just stupid @ each other lol

46. Do they consider their relationship casual or serious? Is the answer different depending on who you ask? Why? They are that kind of casual you get when you know you're gonna be with that person for a good long while. Like yes they are "serious" but neither of them have grand plans or anything huge like that, they are not inherently serious people. They're both still in their mid to late 20's so they're not really thinking about buying houses and having kids kind of serious. So like....yes they both point at each other and go "that is my life partner" but also they're still very much.....i hesitate to say kids, but still figuring their shit out. Will they last forever? Well they sure hope so but understand life throws unimaginable curve balls at you (haaaaaave you played msq?) and recognize something could happen still to separate them, but have no plans themselves to spend their time with anyone else. And then after all this I have to try and explain how Estinien fits in. He fully has his own life and shit with Aymeric in my canon, him and a'miru just kinda have this closeness of comfort from when A'miru was dragging herself out of the depths of depression. So they have a weird little thing. They sleep together when they're on assignments together, they occasionally bang they have a non-committal relationship that the others involved understand and are fine with. He's her emotional support elf in extremely specific situations. G'raha -> words, comfort, home. Estinien -> stability, brick wall, blunt and not afraid to piss her off to tell her what needs to be said (he's the "you're being an incredible dumbass" one) Anyway I'm not sure this makes sense to anyone else but me but here ya go :3 lol

[pi3ce0fme4t]

t///w : s3xual abvse, substance abvse, severe trauma, csa? maybe technically i was a minor for all of it.

i just want him to d!3 quite frankly. how the fuck do you get away with r*ping so many people multiple times? why are we all so terrified to go to the police and maybe just maybe get justice.

it took me A YEAR to finally tell someone what you actually did to me, what actually happened during sex and they said dude that is r*pe. it was some of the most excruciatingly painful information i had to finally process and accept. looking back , obviously it’s r*pe when someone says ‘ please stop doing that it hurts me i don’t like it’ and they say ‘ i don’t care i like it’ and then continue to do it. something along those lines happened more than once with my ex. after awhile you just fucking give up. during that relationship i was abvsing my adhd meds and i did like tiny amounts of c0ke along with drinking occasionally and taking sm rips everyday and vaping and whatever else i could get my hands on really. i was high on two or three diff things everyday , and switching it up everyday some weeks. i was doing all of that to cope with so much trauma already + bpd n cptsd n a bunch of other shit while actively being abvsed. i’d like to say that after we broke that was the end of it but nah. it just got worse and worse. d34th thre4ts, thr34ts of harm, transphobia. he harassed me for months after i broke up with him and posted ab me. even when i wasn’t also harassing him a little bit telling him he was horrible bc he also emotionally abvsed me and i recognized that and i just couldn’t let it go. he’s also a l0ser and it made me feel better to make fun of him. almost a year after we broke up i made the mistake of trying to f him again idk why. he ended up SAing me for revenge for cheating on him n another ex apparently even tho that ex hated him and b34t him up for doing that to me. i’d also like to state that he literally cheated on me way more than the one time i kind of did ??? i also had constant utis and i pissed blood clots twice ! it took 3 rounds of antibiotics to find a good one , a strong enough one to fix it. everyone else that’s been with him has also gotten a uti or something or other or suspect it. he cheats on everyone, he gives people stis bc he refuses to wear a condom and will just r*pe you if you refuse to do it without one or he will coerce you. he violently assaulted me and i was too ashamed and afraid to go to the police. instead i went back to school. i called one of my besties at the time and told them what happened bc i wasnt even sure at first if he had assaulted me. even tho i said stop three different times, and i was very afraid and he hurt me. i was already afraid bc he started choking me while kissing me and was very aggressive and i told him to stop and he did and then he did what he did. and then later through text he said he didn’t hear me say stop even tho during he said again ‘ but i like it’ basically. ( actually he fucking said ‘ but i like head pushing then shoved my head onto his dick again for the second time ! ) it makes me feel physically ill. i couldn’t sleep in my own bed slot of night after it first happened. or i didn’t want to leave it because it was the only place that was safe but it was also so unsafe bc i just would have flashbacks of shit that happened and just not sleep bc i was terrified of nightmares.

a few months later is when i started to find other victims. i reached out to his most recent h ex at the time and she told me terrible things that are not my business to share at all. at the time i had gotten into a weird sexual relationship with a guy and he had sa’d me three times and then continued to essentially abvse me online thru video n text under the guise of fwb and kink ( he’s also a fucking ch!ld m0lestor but i didn’t now that until it was way too late. ) finding out all of that plus going through all of that and THEN EVEN MORE STUFF HAPPENING caused me to spiral and start drinking really bad so i could cope and also not have lots of graphic memories of all of it. it was truly the worst time in my life. and truly this isn’t even a 1/5th of the whole story. the whole domino effect of december 8th, 2018. since even before that day but that was truly the start, i have been through so much s3xual trauma. it is unbelievable and hard to cope with everyday. today i am thinking about number 4 ? ig yeah. or at least rn. and i’m thinking ab number 5 bc everyday for the next month and the last month have been basically trauma anniversaries bc of him last yr. but tbh so many days are trauma anniversaries when u have cptsd and have been abvsed sm. i wish nobody ever laid their hands on me. i wish they listened to no or stop. i wish they listened to the law. i wish they hadn’t pushed their fantasies on me. i wish he didn’t fucking fuck me when i was blacked out and A FUCKING 14-15 YER OLD. i wish none of it ever happened.

[loveleecakess]

୨☕୧ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ !!! ⏜ ۫ . ⟡

Character: -Bakugou Katsuki

Parts! - #2, Izuku Midoriya -#3, Shoto Todoroki

# !! ꒰ Independent ꒱ 🥢 🥡

-I think Bakugou’s dorm room would be freezing most of the time to stop himself from sweating excessively. He’d hate the feeling of trying to fall asleep sweaty. -If he showers in the morning he takes hot ones and if he showers at night he takes cold ones. -Bakugou doesn’t want people to know he’s a huge sap. He acts like he doesn’t care about the gifts he receives on birthdays/Christmas, but he keeps them all and makes sure they stay in good shape. -When he was a kid he’d try to sneak TV past his bedtime so he could watch the Adult Swim channel. He managed to get away with it a lot which started up his profanity. -Bakugou cooks dinner a majority of the time in the dormitory since he states ‘no one else is good at it’ or 'it tastes like shit when someone else cooks it.�� He refuses to cook breakfast though. 'Do it yourself.’

꒰ With Others ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮

-Asui and Bakugou are constantly arguing since she’s not afraid to say what’s on her mind and call him out on his attitude. -Bakugou has been good at styling hair ever since his internship with Best Jeanist. He usually helps Yaoyorozu and Kirishima the most with their hairstyles. -Hatsume has unintentionally gotten Bakugou in trouble when one of her inventions explode and a staff member thinks Bakugou used his quirk on campus without permission/supervision.

🕯️୧ ‧₊˚ ꒰ Bakugou x fem!reader꒱ !!

-His love language is definitely acts of service: -He’ll make sure there’s enough coffee left in the morning so he’ll be able to pour you a glass. -He’ll occasionally cook your favorite meal for dinner at the dormitories or secretly work on a cute little bento with little rice ball characters to surprise you with during lunch. -If he remembered how much you wanted a certain snack he’ll make sure to get it the next time Class A needs to get groceries for the dorm. -He’ll subtly hold doors open for you and pull out your chairs if he can. -Since he goes to bed early, he sometimes misses a few of the night texts you send him ( if reader sleeps late ), but he’ll spend the first few minutes of his morning reading all the things you messaged him. -He’ll let you borrow his manga but you have to promise you’ll be sure to return it in pristine condition.

⠀ི ·̩͙ ꒰ঌུ A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading this! I’m going to try and make this a series with a majority of the students in Class’s A and B. Also, Have a nice day and lmk what you think !!! X3

-I apologize if the format of this post looks weird onmobile! I am a laptop user!

[penny-lambfan]

Ooo I have a few of these!

1- I really don't like Oscha. Ok, don't get me wrong, the dynamic they have by it self is a cute ship dynamic, yes? But the actual characters as a couple would just be so toxic and not work at all. They can barely stand being around each other during the musical, so i don't see how people can view them as a couple, or even close friends for that matter. Now, Ocean's character development does allow me to see them as maybe being friends/ frenemies after the cyclone if they did hypothetically come back, but no more than that.

2- The same goes for Perfectspace. Im sure we're all aware at this point on how abelist Ocean is towards Ricky throughout the musical, so I don't even understand why this ship needs to exist. Ocean views and treats Ricky like a CHILD the whole time, seen by her mannerisms and "sweet little Ricky Potts" , "Ricky sweetie". She treats him he's a small child, incapable of having mature feelings and thoughts, so I think It'd be really freaking weird if those two were to date.

3- Noel is not shy. Ok so, this one probably isn't very controversial but I just feel the need to share this! As someone who grew up incredibly shy and introverted, Noel does not seem like the kind of person to be wary of that at all. First off, Noel broke into a strange exert (i cant spell im so sorry) in front of like, the whole school and possibly more, my guy is NOT afraid of people judging him that badly 🙏 Now, this doesn't mean he isn't affected by being judged, because everyone is at least a little bit im sure, I just think he's actually quite a bold character, and people crushing him down to be this shy little twink really annoys me, because he's such an interesting fun character and people need to realise that!!! Of course, he obviously has his limits, like going as C3-PO instead of Lola-Lola, but thats a BIG THING to do in a town as small as Uranium, he can be brave while still being smart on how to not get totally targeted. (sorry if this made no sense lol i ramble XD)

TIME FOR SOME SIMPLER ONES WITHOUT MUCH EXPLANATION BECAUSE WHY NOT!!!!

1- Ocean is asexual. "Teen sex kills!" and the whole being freaked out by "profanity" just makes me (an asexual) think she too is grossed out by the grind ‼️

2- Transman Mischa. I don't think i have to explain.

3- GenderNO Ricky. Gender has NOTHING on the Rickster. He's just a swinging space age bachelor man who occasionally might also be a swinging space age bachelorette. And sometimes, a swinging spacejesus, the list goes on and on and on but i think you get the point- Whether Ricky or Savannah, my dudette is NOT CIS.

4- He/She pronouns Noel :3 NOT TRANSFEM NOEL. Just cis male Noel who also likes she pronouns along with he!

5- Pansexual Constance yesyes. yes. i think we all agree.

6- Mischa is like an older brother to most of the choir, like he protects them and shit but would also do the most brotherly shit like walk into their room, maybe knock something over, stare at them, insult them and then leave without closing the door. But with love yk 😎❤️

7- I don't like Jane Doe × anyone. Now, the only exception here is Spacedolls because I feel like, Jane isn't viewed as a person, but is Ricky? Barely. So i think they would be cute together, but even better Penny × Ricky. Now, along with the whole "Jane isn't viewed as human" thing, everyone (minus Rickster) is at least slightly scared of Jane. None of them would want to date her, seeing as they can't even be near her and act normal at the same time. But, of course, I like Penny shipped with them (obv not Noel) because she would be viewed as a person and not a scary doll thing.

OK LMAO I GOT INTO THE ZONE WITH THAT ONE-

please don't get like triggered or upset over any of these guys like remember this is just my opinions on a silly little musical about kids singing for their life after dying on a rollercoaster accident like its not so serious 😓

questionare

what's y'alls controversial rtc head canons/opinions

(this is a no judgement zone!)

[heloflor]

I have to say, one thing I absolutely love about the Sam and Max Telltale games is the side characters and more specifically how they all have at least some “oddness” to them, which not only makes Sam and Max feel like they do belong in this town instead of being the outsiders other people react to, but it also makes it possible for the duo to form genuine friendships with some of those people (which is also helped by the continuity this trilogy has).

All of them are eccentric in their own way, I mean :

- Bosco is a paranoid conspiracy theorist and is afraid of enbies

- Sybil keeps changing professions, and between that and how she evolves in S2, it feels like she’s sometimes in her own world/gets in her own head a lot

(And also, between her being really nice to the titular duo and her overall personality, she and Max could easily be besties. I mean c’mon ! He always goes to stand near her + gets involved in her love life + the S3 finale. He’d 100% be her gay bff and also possibly babysitter since he likes kids so much !)

- Flint Paper is a lot like Sam and Max on the police brutality aspect (and the three of them working together is great. There’s a single braincell between the three and not a single one of them uses it. Except Sam occasionally, if he’s not too busy fanboying over his neighbor with Max)

- Superball (my beloved) feels like one of the more grounded characters but at the same time he’s never seen taken aback by the weird shit happening around him and has no issue rolling with it. He’s also pretty mysterious at times and even straight up teleports in 304

(I’m not going to mention his love of doors as him being eccentric because, between that and how he expresses emotions differently, plus the musical number and his voice impressions showing he has an artistic side, I can’t help but view him as autistic. Heck you can also add him taking the “please don’t hang up the phone” thing way too literally in S1. So the love for doors feels like a special interest)

- Jimmy and the rest of the rats are some kind of mafia or street gang

- The C.O.P.S. are a bunch of old sentient machines trying their best (also Buster Blaster reminds me of Lord Hater from Wander with the way he screams all the time and I love it !)

- Harry Moleman is a creep who somehow keeps getting involved in the story through new jobs

- The Soda Poppers are pretty self-explanatory (gotta love how everytime they show up I’m like “oh, it’s these assholes again…”)

- Hugh Bliss is a literal sentient bacteria cult leader

- Girl Stinky is a literal cake and apparently a mermaid ? Like, her design has always been mermaid-oriented but apparently it’s because she truly is one

- Grandpa Stinky is that kind of grumpy old man who can and will throw hands with a 13 years-old

- Abe is the douchy head of a broken sentient statue who can’t do anything right aside from speeches (and he gets lectured by the local married couple after messing up his relationship in S2, which I find very funny)

- Featherly is a talking actor chicken who was literally found at the beginning of the universe that one time for some reason ??? It was very funny tho

(Also off-topic and I’m not sure if this was on purpose or not but isn’t Featherly technically trans ? I mean, he’s explicitly told to be a chicken in S2, not a rooster, and is even capable of laying eggs, but he uses he/him pronouns and refers to himself as a man)

- Santa Claus isn’t taking shit from anyone and hates kids

- Jurgen is a gay emo teen stereotype (who would absolutely have many social media accounts were those game made in the 2010s)

- Sal is a cockroach himbo who’s kinda just going along with the craziness around him

- Papierwaite literally tried and sort-of managed to summon some demi-god, demi-god who turns out to be pretty chill. And the duo is symbiotic. Oh yeah and Papierwaite has powers and may or may not be immortal (I think him living this long might be due to Norrington ?)

- Mama Bosco, despite acting more like the voice of reason, still remains the wacky kind of scientist, with her creating portals to other dimensions and being pretty nonchalant about the risks of it

- Skun-ka’pe is a hyper-intelligent alien who lets his ego and slight naiveté take the better of him

- Sammun-mak is a child with enormous powers and a god complex

- and the list goes on

I just really like how the world of Sam and Max is eccentric in itself. It’s not just the two main characters who are “weird” while the rest of the city reacts to their weirdness. Every character has their own thing going on and I love how it makes this world flow.

[lesbiannancytruther]

guess what time it is times up its clown au hcs time

I KNOW i said i was gonna do a villainess au post but i actually lied that’s gonna happen later sorry gay people

-nancy in this au is a lot more free with her emotions and also a LOT better at lying because of it. this nancy isn’t always surviving off half truths, confident in the sense that she officially gives 0 fucks about what people think

-robin openly being a lesbian to the circus gang and also more confident in general makes her a bit of a heartbreaker (jealous nancy fans (PRE RELATIONSHIP‼️) rise)

-after nancy reveals herself she and robin train together frequently despite having like 0 spheres in common. nancy just thinks robin is wicked funny and robin likes women that could kick her ass

-vasir and shiva like robin a lot but mess with her frequently. they know she’s scared stiff of them even though they’d never actually hurt her, so they’ll prank her all the time

-that being said: robin having nancy in her lap and receiving death glares from two ominous pairs of eyes across the room😭

-the founding of nancy and robin’s relationship is nancy being desperate to learn about her hometown and robin being desperate to learn about nancy. this goes away VERY quickly in the face of the fact that nancy finds robin way more interesting than anything in hawkins and robin finds that nancy is way more happy with her present than her past.

-robin shares a train car with two other clowns and they start calling the nights she stays there with them sleepovers since she starts staying with nancy in her private car more frequently (even if that means waking up to see shiva 2 inches from her face)

-robin and nancy are the fan favorites, robin in comedy and nancy in wow factor

-someone said aerial gymnast robin and though i don’t fully think that fits since robin is so clumsy i DEFINITELY think she gets lovingly bullied into being tossed around during the trapeze act as added comedy

-despite their acts being so separate nancy and robin always bow together at the end of shows

-after every show robin and nancy have a tradition where they sit on top of nancy’s train car and share cotton candy they stole and look at the stars and talk, sometimes with nancy’s head in robin’s lap where robin DEF puts cotton candy on nancy’s nose (when they kiss its extra sweet)

-when nancy and robin got closer nancy took on applying robin’s clown makeup and always giving robin something new and fun, straddling her in the process ofc (if u see nancy leaving robin’s stall with blue lips no u literally didn’t)

-tbh idk how i feel about other people from hawkins being in the circus but if someone tries to convince me i will ABSOLUTELY add elmax to this (eleven is still experimented on but for weird “the 80’s hates anyone that isn’t normal” reasons not the upside down and she runs into the circus and max runs away from her shit ass family)

-and yeah ronance mothers them

-robin always gets nancy a flower from every new place they visit, nancy keeps them all pressed in a box in her car

-nancy watching and aching from afar every time a potential suitor approaches robin is real idk. the first person she really feels like she loves since barb and so many people are vying for her attention, its hard to believe she’d be first pick, but robin eventually proves that she is

-robin being so in love with nancy its insane. robin will just look at nancy and be told to keep it in her pants

-nancy always touching robin, holding hands or locking arms or leaning against her or in her lap or the occasional piggyback ride that ends with them laughing as they fall down

-robin for the first time really confiding in someone, sharing everything she feels instead of safe and snarky remarks, and it feels good to be open, to not be afraid that someone will turn away when she rambles or says something they don’t like.

-robin making new masks for nancy that get progressively better with time. nancy’s favorites are the ones with pink and ribbons

that is all for now >:) lmk if y’all want more gay clowns and/or elmax integration

[letarasstuff]

Ranting

(A/N): This was requested by an anon, I hope you like it :)

Summary: In the middle of midterms, Spencer's daughter has enough and for the first time in her life, she rants to the team

Warnings: one swear word, school, school stress, mental breakdown, shitty friends, a bit of angst (but there is fluff to balance that out), weird grammatical sentences that are according to google correct

Wordcount: 2.3k

✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________ As a teenager, Spencer was pretty closed off. But this had several reasons, like being a child (or moreover a teen prodigy) at college and getting his first Ph.D, or that he hadn’t had a safety net of people he could have gone to. So as he became a father himself, he tried everything possible to assure his own daughter that her feelings and thoughts are always welcome and valid.

Unfortunately (Y/N) herself has developed the same habit starting high school and ever since Spencer can’t do anything to get her to open up to him. It’s not like they don’t have a good relationship, they have one of the strongest father-daughter bonds the BAU has ever witnessed. The girl simply has other ways to cope with her feelings and how to act them out in the safety of her own four walls. Her father learned to accept it, knowing that he can’t and won’t force her to talk to him.

So what follows now not only shocked Spencer. But also his work family.

It’s the time every teen in high school dreads: Midterms.

A word a teacher can mutter and a shiver goes through the rows of students in the classroom. Or at least it feels like it to (Y/N). She takes her school work very seriously. In her mind every single grade determines her future.

The rational part in her knows that the grades in her sophomore year doesn’t matter. That they are even long forgotten when she graduates. There is just so much pressure on her. But it isn’t coming from her father.

Spencer is pretty laid-back regarding school. He knows his daughter is trying her best and that it’s just the tenth grade and not the end of the world. School is not everything life has to offer, especially he has to know it as a scholar and profiler flying through the country in a jet back and forth.

It’s (Y/N)’s classmates, who pressure her to get good grades.

“We depend on you and your notes”, Tyler exclaims as he jogs next to her through the busy hallway. “Ty, I know. But I don’t have the time to get them done for all of you to understand by tomorrow. They are still a mess that only I know to see through. I still have to finish my history project and I go to my Dad’s work this afternoon, which means I won’t get much done and I still have to do the homework I got today before sorting my notes for the test in two days.”

At her locker, the boy still doesn’t let go of the subject. “Do you want to say that our grades don’t matter as much as yours? Because this would be a true selfish statement.” Maybe it is the lack of sleep, because she pulled three all-nighters in two weeks, or the fact that she is slowly getting fed up being treated like an unpaid private teacher, but (Y/N) can’t stop her sassy answer. “Tyler, you wouldn't even know how to tell apart your ass from your head if it weren’t for me and my help in biology. You wouldn’t even know how to spell selfish if I didn’t let you copy my answers in spelling tests in elementary school.”

Done with the day and her friend’s shit, she slams the door of her locker shut and leaves a flabbergasted boy behind. Half an hour later the teenager enters the bullpen with her visitor badge clipped to the pocket of her sweater.

On the way there she was fuming. The audacity of her friends. It’s not only Tyler, who tried to get her notes of a unit, she was the only one listening, even though the teacher said loud and clear that this will be important for midterms. A few other friends out of the group she usually hangs out with texted her the same question of when her notes will be given to them. Understandably, (Y/N) comes into the office in the worst mood anyone from the team ever saw, including her own father.

“Hey Sweetheart”, he tries to greet her with a hug. Even though both of them are not big on touch, they are extra affectionate with people they are close to.

To everybody’s surprise, the girl takes a step back, effectively avoiding his open arms. “Hey”, she grumbles out before taking a seat in the chair already waiting for her. Nobody is allowed to sit in this one, except for her. Not even Derek has ever put his butt on this one, knowing the sacredness of it.

Without sparing anyone another glance, (Y/N) gets the needed stuff for that history project out and continues working on it. The team resorts to throwing a questiongly look to Spencer, who shrugs his shoulders with a look of despair. So everyone resumes their work without even daring to say a word.

The general silence is occasionally broken by an unnerved sigh leaving the teenager’s lips. “Is the conference room occupied?” She asks, her voice clearly showing how annoyed she is. Her father shakes his head. “No, not that I know of. Do you need help with your school work?” This is obviously the wrong thing to say. “Do I look like a baby? I don’t need anyone to help with that, I have been going to school for ten years now, I think I can handle this project as perfectly fine as I did since day one. It’s just your keyboard typing that will be the reason for my first grey hairs if I don’t get out of here soon.”

Quickly (Y/N) gathers her stuff and storms off into the conference room. Immediately the team crowds her father’s desk. “What happened?” “Who hurt her?” “Go, talk to her!”

“Guys, I don’t know what’s going on. I’m at the same loss as all of you. The only thing I know is that (Y/N) is under pressure, because it’s midterms. But judging by the way she reacted, I don’t want to go near her. It’s safer to try to defuse a bomb than talk to her in that mood. Last time I saw something similar, her favorite show was declared finished, got a revival and then didn’t get one and nobody mentioned it again. She was so mad, I think it took three years of her life.” A silence of uncertainty spreads through the room.

“What about we give her some room until she calms down?” JJ suggests, being unsure herself how to deal with a teenage girl. But the rest agrees and goes back to filling out their paperwork.

This continues for about 20 minutes, till a loud bang and a frustrated scream is heard followed by “DON’T THEY WANT TO GET IT OR ARE THEY JUST STUPID?!” Alerted by that, seven people (yes, even Dave and Aaron leave their offices, while Penelope was already in the bullpen) storm into the round table room only to see a more than outraged (Y/N).

“Sweetheart”, Spencer speaks to her in the gentlest voice they ever heard from him and slowly moves towards his daughter, “What’s going on?”

Her response is delayed by several deep breaths she has to take in order to be able to talk without seething. “ALL OF MY SO CALLED FRIENDS ARE ASKING ME FOR MY NOTES, like do I look like a personal tutor? And when I tell them that I got a life, a life outside of school and grades, because otherwise I go completely bananas, just like all of you say, they get mad. Now they act like I’m the most selfish person in the whole world. I’m so done, can’t they understand that they are old enough to take care of their own stuff? I’m not responsible for them, their grades or anything regarding their lives. Otherwise I would be the mother of at least four toddlers and one baby and at the age of sixteen I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility. I know friends are there for eachother, and I really don’t mind helping them from time to time. But what they are doing is terror. Terror.

“Oh and don’t get me started on their tormention if I get something lower than an A-. Then they suddenly transform into geniuses, like they suddenly know everything possible. Of course, I’m the dumb one. I should have studied more.

“I am under an insane amount of pressure, because I know they rely on me, but enough is enough. I tell them that if anyone asks me for anything school related again and they act like I owe them an answer, I’ll cut off all ties to all of them. What am I, a roboter just there for their needs, without some of my own?”

After her long rant, (Y/N) takes a couple more breaths. It’s pretty much the only sound right now, because the team is stunned. None of them heard her talking, no ranting, like that. Not even her Spencer has seen her like that.

Realizing what she just said, the teenager fidgets nervously with her hands. “I’m, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, you know, blow up like that. I, I really don’t know where this came from.” Nervously she scratches the back of her head. It really wasn’t her intention to let it out like that. Her plan was just to come home tonight and deal in the confinement of her own four walls with all of her feelings. It’s easier to be honest to yourself when you are alone than having an audience watching you losing it.

Suddenly (Y/N) finds herself engulfed in a massive bear hug. “Oh, my sweet sweet summerchild. You needed to rant to us and I’m so happy you did. Even though your uhm, friends, sound like big douchebags, we can help you sort something out”, Penelope tells her while keeping her arms around the teen.

“Just like lil mama said, we are here for you, Baby Reid. Don’t ever be afraid to tell us something, may it even be as small as you having stubbed your toe.” Morgan ruffles her hair and gives her a reassuring smile.

Just like them everybody shows her their support, be it encouraging words or affectionately gestures. Rossi invites her to a calm and quiet dinner at his mansion, cooking class included. Hotch assures her that she will get through this rough patch, with or without these fake people. JJ suggests (Y/N) comes over to her home and she can participate in a family game night at their home.

When it’s Emily’s turn, she makes sure to get her message loud and clear by looking the teen in the eyes (not as deep as it sounds, because some people make an intense stare really uncomfortable): “If those kids give you a hard time again, tell me. I’ll pay them a visit in classic protective godmother fashion, because nobody traits MY godchild like this. Just give me their names and I’ll handle the rest.” Obviously she doesn’t say this aloud in front of everyone, else Hotch will have her head, knowing she goes through with her threats. Instead she whispers it into the teen’s ear. Still, it makes (Y/N) smile, having such a strong support net.

Sensing the family’s need for time of their own to talk about the whole situation, the team leaves the room. Spencer gestures to her to take a seat after moving two chairs opposite each other. He wants her not to feel trapped.

“Do you still want to talk about it? It doesn’t have to be now, we can do it tonight, tomorrow, in a week or in a month. Just, please don’t shut me out. I know it’s difficult to be a teenager, especially in times like these. But it won’t do you any good keeping all of this for yourself. Today you took it out through anger. How will it look next time?

I don’t want to pressure you into talking. We don’t need to. We can find other coping mechanisms. We can try and reduce your stress. Anything. But we both know that this is not the right way.” While speaking, he takes his daughter’s hand, making her look up to him.

(Y/N) nods. Her eyes fill with tears. “I just can’t keep going like this.” She whispers, feeling all the stress, pressure and the intensity of the last few weeks crashing down on her. Quickly Spencer gathers her in his arms, letting her cry in his embrace.

After calming down, she looks up to her father with bloodshot eyes. “We can talk tonight. But I need you to do me a favor.” “Anything”, he assures her, stroking a hand along her back. “I, uhm, I need a new phone. I may or may not have thrown mine against the wall after getting a text from Tyler.”

Spencer looks at the crooked cell laying on the floor, the screen cracked. “I think we can get that sorted”, he tells her with a smile and gives her a kiss on the forehead.

The two of them leave the office earlier, having many things to talk about and many problems to solve. But with the help of her family (Y/N) gets through this, a time where people unfortunately only like her for her smarts and not being herself.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos @jswessie187 @kneelforloki

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner