#that said i think there's definitely nuance within them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

evieelyzabethh · 5 months ago

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"what dreams are made of"

⭒"sunsets or something, aren't you lovely" ⭒~ crush phase Arcane head cannons {fem reader}

cast ✧ Vi, Ekko, Jayce, Viktor, Mel

cw fem!reader, massive amounts of fluff, slightly pervy jayce, not beta read

an ☞i know this blog has been very Buffy related for a bit but i wanted to try something new. Not that Buffy is abandoned forever, i just wanted to write for more than one fandom

♞Vi ♞

♞Vi tells herself she doesn't have a crush on you, nay, she doesn't even believe in crushes. She thinks they are childish and beneath her and would never even admit she has one. That being said, she is definitely "sweet" on you as Vander would've called it. Vi when having a crush would be an absolute disaster, and this she would be more than willing to admit on her own. Her words never seem to come out right, and even when they do, they're never taken the way she means. She said it herself, when presented a set of options, she somehow always manages to chose the wrong one. For a relationship with Vi to work, you would have to be patient.

♞She certainly doesn't know when enough is enough. She will hang outside of your place of employment, be it the Last Drop or Babette's and insist you allow her to walk you home. Her fists are the one thing she's confident in because there is no nuance in fighting. She doesn't think it's possible for you to be upset with her for beating the shit out of the guy who looked at you funny and would be confused when you get mad at her for this. It's not even that she thinks you are incapable of taking care of yourself, that's just the only way she can think to protect you without it going wrong (and it sometimes still does)

♞She would be into old school chivalry. In a modern, less serious AU, I think she would be the type to stand outside your house with a boombox to apologize because she accidentally shrunk your favorite expensive sweater in the wash. Even within Arcane, I think if she was feeling soft and comfortable enough, she would be the type to carry you over puddles so your shoes didn't get wet or throw stones at your window to get your attention. Not even to go on a big adventure, just to sit on a rooftop and to listen to her hum.

♞I don't think she'd be into getting her crush flowers. She's one of those types who is already hyper exposed to death and wouldn't want to get you anything that has the potential to die. She's not above having Jinx make you some trinket and trying to lie that she made it to impress you, but you know that it's not her handiwork. She does try, though, her and her sticky fingers. Anything your gaze lingers too long on somehow finds its way into your room with a handwritten note from her (her handwriting is shit by the way)

♞As stated above, she is terrible with words yet is most romantic in the most unexpected moments. She is totally the type to hang around doorframes just to lean on them and subtly flex. Does this work? No, but it's funny to see her try and be suave. She succeeds in smaller ways. She is always watching. She notices the small changes in the ways you look at her, knowing when you're trying not to laugh or need her to rescue you from a terrible conversation. The slightly deeper baritone she puts on when she asks, "you alright, pretty?", the way she guides you by the small of your back on instinct. She one of those people who is naturally hot and doesn't realize she doesn't need to try (and don't let her find out she'll be insufferable).

♞I don't think she would confess on her own, it's far more likely you'll have to do it yourself. She would get in her head too much, and her communication skills are awful. She worries that she'll hurt you and won't know how to fix it. She knows relationships are harder work than friendships and she is not confident in her abilities to handle all the responsibility that comes with that. She's reckless with her livelihood, but never you and your wellbeing. Even after a confession, it would take a lot of reassurance that she wouldn't destroy everything.

✭Ekko✭

✭I don't think a crush phase with Ekko would last all that long, especially if it's developed after the Firelight society. I think he's far more self-assured than Vi is and wouldn't see the point in dancing around a relationship. If he wants you and you want him, why make things complicated if they don't need to be. For these reasons, I think he would crush from a far rather than it being a friends to lovers type relationship.

✭Ekko is sappy, let that be known. The first time he sees you time stops. If he's figured out his machine, he may just rewind time to stare at you for a second longer. He becomes a mini-stalker, not breaking into your house or anything, but slyly asking if anyone knows you, where you came from, why he's never seen you before, if you're single? Scar makes fun of him for this, of course, but encourages and indulges him with all he knows

✭The glimpses he sees of you make his whole week. Those short moments you pass by him in a crowd, or he sees you playing with children or passing around food, and he curses himself every time for freezing instead of taking action. And when he does take action, Scar is somewhere around the corner eavesdropping on the conversation and nearly choking on his own laughter when he hears Ekko's opening line, "Tree." Just "Tree". He had meant to say more than that, but when you looked at him, his mind went blank and all he could manage was "Tree" and died inside as you looked up at him confused. Like Vi, he too would stumble over his words at first, or even worse, fall victim to a terribly timed voice crack. He tries to cover it with a cough, but there's really no coming back from that.

✭Lucky for Ekko (who still lays awake at night because of your first interaction), you liked his tree a lot and you talked for hours under it. He walked you home like a gentleman after and shows up the next morning to give you an exclusive tour of the entire place and treats you to lunch

✭After that he pops up everywhere. You need company on an errand, he's some how at your door, checking his watch trying to look nonchalant when he is one of the most chalant people to walk the earth. You get caught in the rain, your eyes aren't deceiving you, that is indeed Ekko in the misty distance with an extra umbrella he 'found' lying around somewhere. You wanna go out one night, that's hilarious because Ekko had the exact same idea and if you're both going out might as well keep each other safe at night.

✭Don't be mistaken, he allows you space. He himself is a man who enjoys solitude, but what is the point of a commune if not community. He can do things alone, and he does, but if he's craving company and you are too, why bother with it. Being together isn't often a big ordeal anyway, sometimes its lounging around in his lab reading a book while he's tinkering away with some good music playing in the background. And sometimes, if the stars align and the moon allows, you slow dance to whatever's playing while talking about your day, even if you spent it together.

✭Ekko can certainly cook. He got quite good at making something out of nothing before his tree, but after, you try convincing him every day to open a restaurant should he ever need some cash on the side. He likes his kitchen a lot, actually, its his private sanctuary. A place where his love of the arts and science come together. In a modern AU, he would totally be on the track to have a degree in biochemistry and plan to open his own restaurant.

✭You two would hang out in his kitchen a lot, and out of the kindness of his heart, he would allow you to lick the spoon anytime he bakes something. It would also be where he confesses, a candlelit dinner for two already set up while both of you prepare what will be your first meal together as a couple.

❂Jayce❂

❂Probably the only one (and Mel) who can pull of being suave. Though he can pull it off, it is not authentic at all. He certainly woos you with it though!! He is a very classic romantic, buying you dozens of roses and wine-and-dining you with fancy champagne and furry rugs, but it's all a facade. He's a really big dork. Unlike the previous two, being suave is the defense he plays rather well. He's a bit scared that when you realize he's really pathetic deep down, you'll be disappointed. He's the man of progress and built like a brickhouse and he is slightly very insecure that's not his personality deep down

❂He enjoys walks in the gardens once you get a bit closer to him. Usually you two will talk in his lab or in your place of work and he'll drop a few cheesy pickup lines with a charming smirk and you'll both laugh it off. You think he's just a flirt for a while and he's really trying to work on you (just very unsuccessfully). It's not until he (very inorganically) tells you he's tired and wants a change of scenery and asks if you'll accompany him to the gardens. For the first time ever, you get one of his toothy smiles instead of those stupid forced smirks and you're really fond of it.

❂From then on, things start progressing much faster. He starts to tell you about Hextech and his theories about the runes and how it all works and babbles about scientific drivel until the sun goes down and, unless you're one of the sciency-types, it goes through one ear and out the other. He's ok with this, he likes having a sponge around to talk things through with, but if you can actually engage, he'd probably get a boner.

❂I feel like out of everyone, after you got close enough, he would do relationship things, creating a very vague space that can leave you questioning whether or not you're together or if you're reading into things too much. This is entirely because he wants to ask you out and he is like 90% percent sure you'll say yes but he's worried about the slim chance you won't and wants you to take the leap for him because he's too scared to.

❂He's a big physical touch guy. Like the type to leave his hands in your back pocket, not even because he's trying to grab your ass, but because he wants to touch you (and your ass). He likes hugs!! He gives such good hugs. While it's usually him leaning on you for touch, placing his head in your lap, grabbing your hands, or letting his hands linger on your hips to rub little patterns, he is beyond excited when it's you are initiating. What do you mean you want a hug from him!!! What do you mean you want to hold his hand!! He is so over the moon excited.

❂Slight side tangent, but if you went out in something low cut he would constantly be staring at your chest. Not even in a perv way (most of the time), but to make sure it doesn't fall down. He has gotten very sly at pulling it up for you in an unnoticeable way. There are a lot of similar acts with him, casual touches here and there. Unsticking your hair from your lip gloss, pulling stray leaves or flower petals out of your hair, making sure the clasp of your necklace stays in place at the back of your neck.

❂I know he smells nice. Dior Sauvage warrior right here!!! He would go slightly overboard with it on the day he confesses just because you said you liked it. He would plan everything to an absolute 't'. A walk in the gardens where you had what he considers your first date, a written speech that become illegible because his hands were sweaty while he was holding it, a specific spot to eat dinner so you got a perfect glimpse of the stars. He would even wait for the day that a specific constellation was in place to perfectly set the mood. He asks you to be his girlfriend like he's proposing, with a single rose and matching bracelets to commemorate the occasion.

☽Viktor☾

☾Viktor is another one I don't really see having a crush just because he is so busy all the time, but I don't think you'd need to work in the lab to catch his attention. I think simple things, like kindness, would really be all he needs. He appreciates someone who doesn't coddle him or look at him funny because he's from Zaun or because of his leg. Someone who is considerate to his disability while also treating him like a person, not like some porcelain doll

☾I think once he found you, he would find it slightly hard to know what to do next. He likes your banter when you come around and he knows he likes you, it's the pursuing part that gets him tripped up. He is someone who likes to have it planned out and he has no idea where he would take you on a date or what you enjoy or who you are really

☾Every hang out would eventually turn into a game of 21 questions. What's your favorite color? What do you like to do in your free time? What's your least favorite chore to do? It all seems very random you two jump from topic to topic when the conversation stills. He also just adores hearing you go on and on about things. They could be the simplest of things, like going into very heavily deep detail as to why your favorite colors purple, or something more substantive, like a full and deep analysis of your favorite book, or just gossip. This man is a D-1 gossiper!!

☾He likes having you around in general. Like Jayce, he enjoys having someone to bounce ideas off of or just being able to hear them out loud. He also feels more at ease around you. Unlike pretty much everyone else, he wouldn't freeze up around his crush. If anything, he's more prone to fault without them there. He gets too wrapped up in work, he forgets to take breaks, he forgets to eat. You're always there to remind him to do what he forgets to the point that you don't even have to say it anymore. He's gotten so good about it, sometimes he makes lunch for the both of you.

☾He absolute adores your banter. He's not as serious as people think he is. He can crack a joke or two. He's sarcastic and witty and a leader of the sassy man apocalypse. He would absolutely die without hearing your laugh at his stupid jokes.

☾On a different note, he would start using pet names so smoothly. It would start slowly with a simple nickname and then eventually progress into one of those old, classic nicknames. Dear or darling would definitely be his go-to's and he would only get bolder as you start to blush more. He's cocky too, he is very aware of the effect he has, and he likes pushing your buttons. It's like a game, the more he picks and prods, the greater his reward is.

☾I also have a feeling he'd be a slight neat freak. Like his lab is a different story, his work is chaotic, but he cannot come home to chaos. I think if you let him into your space, he wouldn't definitely tidy it up subtly. Wiping dust off books and slightly moving objects on your desk so they look more orderly. I feel like this carries over to appearance too. He has a specific way of tying his shoes and he's very meticulous about what ties he wears and knows how to do like every type of knot.

☾He also definitely smells good. You can't convince me he doesn't have like a 12-step shower routine and takes advantage of all of Piltover's fancy soups and colognes. In contrast to Jayce, however, his smelling good is him smelling super clean. Like it's not a scent out of a bottle or anything, nor does he smell exactly like soap, he smells distinctly like himself and very clean.

☾I think he would confess very simply and nonchalantly. It would be a late night in the lab by candlelight or some sort of low lighting has him feeling romantic and bold. He peppers it into conversation smoothly, something like "It's too late tonight, but tomorrow we should go on our first date." And you are taken aback, which he knew you would be. You do ask if he was officially asking you to be his girlfriend and he tells you "he doesn't really like labels", but the wide smile and kiss he gave you said otherwise.

☼Mel☼

☼Probably one of the smoothest talkers out of everyone here. She would have absolutely no problems charming anyone into a relationship. Similar to Jayce, it would be a bit superficial at first. Feeling like she would need a relationship to feel complete, not in a self-esteem way, but rather in an aesthetic way. She is always trying to look very put together and like she has everything under control, and the "complete" life looked like one with a significant other. She eventually realizes a complete life doesn't need a partner, but her complete life wouldn't be complete without you.

☼Mel would feel like she's being obvious towards her crush when she in reality is not. She has this very professional tone about her, and she eventually has to learn that even the sweetest things sound manufactured in that manner. She would talk very softly with her crush, a lot of whispers during council meetings and sweet mutterings while it's just the two of you. This reminds me, if you're shorter than her, she has the very attractive habit of leaning down to speak to you.

☼Big on eye contact. She could talk you unto circles, your pupils dilated and just nodded at anything she says. She finds this very amusing. She is aware of the effect her voice has on people, and she would be lying if she said she didn't put into hyperdrive when it came to you. It's not even a different voice she put on, it's just the way she speaks and looks you in your eyes that's so captivating. She also gives it right back when it comes to listening to you. Though she has the habit of wanting to fix your problems for you, she's gotten good at asking if you even want her advice or just want her to listen.

☼She would love matching with her crush. Once again, someone who visuals are very important to, she likes the idea that you look together, even if you aren't. This also applies to her finding any way for you to be together at public events. Inviting you as her date to a gala or not wanting to do a grocery run alone, she would ask you to come with. She loves looking like you two are dating.

☼Gossip sessions would go insane. It's definitely a scheduled weekend event with face masks and nails, she'll braid your hair and in return you'll pick out new charms and styles for her to put hers in. Part of it is because she likes being well informed about what everyone is up to and part of it is bonding over despising the same people in the council (this is directed at Salo). Her favorite part of it is being around you; it's a very intimate activity that she can't get enough of.

☼I feel it in my bones that she's the type to open doors for you. Car doors, carriage doors, your hand will not grace a single doorknob or handle around her. She would also be on top of the weather, festivals and fun events happening, and things concerning to your interests. You will never regret not wearing your rainboots because she would've told you the forecast the morning. Your favorite music artists are coming soon, good thing she told you like a month ago so you could get tickets before everyone else.

☼She is another chef, but of the comfort food variety. Her food just tastes like a warm hug, and she is the first you go to when feeling under the weather. She takes great pride in this. She doesn't cook often and she doesn't even enjoy the activity that much, preferring to eat out or have a private chef, but she likes that she has something that she can do for you.

☼I don't think it would take her very long to ask you out, especially if she felt like the feelings were reciprocated. To her, there's no point in prolonging the inevitable and she really likes the way your names sound together. I think she is also sappy; she is just incredibly well at hiding it. All of the acts of service mentioned above are usually done casually. She wins the nonchalant Olympics even when she's not trying to. She thinks it's incredibly clear, but the way she comes across doesn't convey that. Thus, her sappy moments are few and far between and she gets very bashful when they're mentioned.

☼Definitely has a scrapbook of your times together as well as a diary where she talks about you for pages on end. The discovery of this would lead to the confession. It would be uncomfortable for her just because it would be so impromptu and that is not how she likes to do things. She would be very vulnerable and honest about her feelings and would call this your "unofficial" confession. She would later go all out as she had always intended during her confession

#arcane x reader #arcane #vi x reader #viktor x reader #ekko x reader #mel x reader #jayce x reader #arcane headcanon #arcane fanfic #arcane x you #ekko arcane #jayce arcane #mel arcane #vi arcane #viktor arcane

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warblogs17282 · 15 days ago

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A breakdown of the second Hellaverse/Helluva Boss panel at LVLUP EXPO, titled "One Helluva Cast! (Part 1)"

As we can see here, we were given a good portion of the next helluva boss short, which features Blitz and Loona going on an I.M.P mission together to kill a children's entertainer! Which releases late June this year!

There will also be 'many' shorts (I'm assuming this is referring to the eight recorded shorts they said they had at another panel a few months ago) coming out this year as well!

Full recording of the short below!

youtube

There will be zero censorship on Helluva Boss' release on Prime Video, with this including both past episodes when they arrive on Prime Video this fall, and for all future episodes as well, with them using Mammon's cunts and the dildos as examples for this.

And because they don't need to worry about youtube's rules anymore when releasing to prime video, they're free to make the show even more raunchy and foul-mouthed than ever before!

Next season will have a quote 'full on penetration scene' (aka sex) of Fizzmodeus, presumably only on Prime Video.

I cannot tell if this comment made was a joke or not because of the tweet Vivzie liked in the screenshot below.

Unhappy campers was the episode so far where Moxxie definitely grew the most, with some comments about this being about how Moxxie is unintentionally self-absorbed, and his ability to be able to empathize with others (In this case, Millie) is hampered by his insecurities and need to prove his worth. Unhappy campers taught Moxxie to be a better listener and to also be in-tune more with other's emotions as well.

Millie's VA thinks that Millie has imposter syndrome.

Loona's arc was one about nuance, learning that not everything in this world is black and white, learning that not everyone is out to hurt her and learning that it's also okay for her to let her guard down. Also described as 'The softening', as we can very clearly see in places like the fact that Loona now just warmly calls Blitz 'Dad' and all that.

As well as sticking close to that quote she made in s2 e2 as well, she stands by every single word she said to Octavia there, you know, the speech where Loona said stuff like 'Dad's aren't all perfect but they're definitely trying and that's what matters' and all that, and well, obviously all the themes, ideas and such firmly established in season 2 will appear in season 3 and 4 as well.

Fizzarolli's arc has been about breaking out of his shell, being able to say fuck you to the people in his life that very much deserve a fuck you (for example, Mammon), that sort of thing. The arc is kinda like Fizzarolli having his cake and eating it at the same time, if I'm using that phrase correctly here.

Fizzmodeus shirt coming to Hot Topic around the end of May. (I think this is the pride one but I'm not entirely sure on that.)

Obviously, Fizzmodeus has quite a few parallels to Stolitz within the show.

There's something about Fizzarolli that allows Asmodeus to just be himself in front of him, which contrasts with Asmodeus not being able to be just himself in front of people like Mammon for example, which Asmodeus' VA has stated is very similar to him and his own real life wife.

Lastly, in a fight Asmodeus could absolutely kick Mammon's ass, with the reasoning for this being that Asmodeus actually has something to fight for, while Mammon has nothing to fight for at all.

#helluva boss #helluva boss asmodeus #fizzarolli #helluva boss mammon #fizzmodeus #helluva boss blitzo #helluva boss stolas #stolitz #moxxie #helluva boss millie #loona helluva boss #Youtube

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strawberryraviegutz · 8 days ago

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Soooo apparently there’s ppl getting mad at others shipping remmick and Sammie?? Black ppl are not a monolith but as a black person here’s my take on this.

As long as ur not ignoring or trying to erase the racial commentary/cultural context that relates to the meaning of Sinners nor try to erase the fact that Remmick wanted to use Sammie and steal his music all together then I think it’s fine to ship them(assuming that Sammie is an adult cuz he was old enough to drink apparently. Feel free to correct me tho).

I’m all for toxic yaoi but let’s also not forget about what the movie is about nor its meaning/themes, alright?

It’s not exactly the first nor last time ppl are gonna ship characters that have interactions like the one between Sammie and Remmick and it definitely will not be the last ESPECIALLY if it involves vampires.

While Remmick isn’t necessarily racist at the same time he was still using his experiences as an Irish person back then to try and lure in other marginalized communities to exploit for his own gain. But i also don’t think we should necessarily equate this ship as master x slave/oppressor x oppressed.

He did so not cuz he was bigoted or whatever. He did it in a misguided attempt to try and fight back and take revenge against his oppressors and wanting freedom from said oppressors and to try and see/connect with his ancestors again after being forced out of his land in Ireland by colonizers along with experiencing more discrimination within the US cuz back then the Irish were not considered white at all

(although the Irish were not necessarily treated as bad as how black ppl were treated on the same level, it still by no means was good. I’m also not saying that Remmick’s intentions justifies him trying to exploit even more vulnerable marginalized ppl for his own gain)

Plus white ppl aren’t the only one shipping them, I’ve seen loads of other black authors in the tags making stuff related to them. It’s fine if ur uncomfy with the ship but i don’t think it’s fair to assume that all the shippers are racist especially when there’s other black ppl and or black queer ppl who love this ship as well.

I also think there’s potential to explore the nuances between their dynamic relating to them forming some sort of connection/bonding over their shared experiences involving the hardships they experienced during that time period due to their racial/ethnic backgrounds and maybe even sharing things about eachother’s cultures wether it be platonic or romantic.

#sinners #sinners 2025 #vampire media #remmick #sammie x remmick #sammie #sammie sinners #remmick sinners #horror #horror girl #horror fan #sammick

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olderthannetfic · 4 months ago

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Actually, sorry, nevermind with the pro ship stuff ! Did my research and I'm more informed abt it :) you dont need to post either of the asks I sent abt it (and I'm lowkey scared if coming across as a close minded purist prude whose disillusioned about being by one.)..either way ty!

*giggling*

The reality is that any new, viral thing from thirty seconds ago spreads easily on TikTok, most especially misinformation. Instagram is another pretty terrible platform just in terms of algorithms and how it's run. I wouldn't expect the prevailing understanding of such-and-such from within one bubble on either to necessarily be well informed.

The concept of "antis" under that name is pretty new, and the concept of "proshippers" is even newer. It has always meant "not antis". Some people have started mutating it to be about specific dark content, but it was always supposed to be about opposing censorship-happy idiots.

I don't find incestuous ships any freakier than other common fantasies people have. Same with adult/minor ships. You're seeing them in a distinct category because they upset you in particular. The feelings are fine, but they don't actually mean that these kinks are darker than all the other ones antis go after.

I know you think someone will be able to interpret "proshippers DNI" as "only the actually bad people should stay away", but that simply isn't what's going to happen. First, DNIs are moronic. Curating your online space means that you need to be the one blocking and avoiding. You can't ask random strangers, possibly your enemies, to do it for you. Second, people are going to have all kinds of opinions on which content is Bad Enough to count even assuming they share a similar definition of 'proshipper'.

This kind of "Well, we all know what the Bad Stuff is" attitude tends to have a chilling effect on a space. People are all paranoid that their kinks might count and self-censor far beyond what the person who said it expected.

Honestly, aside from the constant misuse of the terms, my assumption is that public proshippers on Instagram and TikTok are mostly into extreme things because anyone less extreme wouldn't have the balls to be public. The amount of death and rape threats from antis wouldn't be worth it.

As for my "rules", I don't have any. This is my personal tumblr, but since I leave anon on, people send me lots of things. I post most of them, but I get so many now, that I'll sometimes cut off a topic that has dragged on boringly. I usually don't post the threats I get unless they're funny and I want to mock them.

Re teens in fandom, I got into fandom at 13 on Usenet and set about reading all of the freakiest porn available. I read far worse stuff outside of fandom. I was curious, as many people that age are. It never did me any harm, and it won't do any harm to current 13-year-olds to read dark shit.

The people who get fucked up already have a lack of decent mentors in their offline life, are reading things as self harm, are actually being harmed by the social side of fandom where they've found some creep for horny roleplay, are the subject of a public hate campaign, etc. That sucks, but it's not something I can control or that will get better if we exclude them from fandom.

Teens would be better protected by their parents removing TikTok from their phones than by anything to do with fandom. Its short form makes it ideal for poorly fact-checked soundbites that sound good on the surface but discourage critical thinking or nuanced engagement with a topic. Youtube et al. are also cesspits, but TikTok has elevated predatory algorithms and viral misinformation to a whole new level.

Now back to rewatching miniminuteman. Hahaha.

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aclockworkreader · 4 months ago

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i would love to hear your opinion on the “kallmekris” booktok discourse that’s going on rn (if you’ve seen it). i feel like there needs to be a conversation about how a lot of the books that are recommended on tiktok in the “spicy” book genre simply just romanticize abuse (a point brought up in the kallmekris YouTube video). it’s driving me crazy how many takes i’ve seen along the lines of “just let women enjoy things” or “they’re just books, it’s fiction”. which just feels lazy. i think people are refusing to think critically about this topic because they enjoy the books. but you can enjoy something while also acknowledging that it can be harmful. idk i would love to hear your thoughts!

i’ve mostly seen the discourse about the discourse loll. i think i’m a bit removed from most of booktok on my fyp. and i haven’t watched the original video, so i can’t speak on the contents of it or say whether i agree or disagree with her.

but this is a topic i’ve thought about a lot and i’ve even considered making a video on it, so i will say this:

i think we’ve seen, in the last few years especially, a significant rise in people refusing think critically about any content they consume. they always use the “it’s not that deep” or “let people enjoy things” excuse whenever someone has a valid criticism, or even just points out something factual about the content they enjoy. i’ve said this before and i’ll repeat it ad infinitum, but that’s anti intellectualism at work and it’s deeply dangerous. as you said, you can and should be able to enjoy something while understanding that it can also have problems. and i invite the people who really believe that it’s “not that deep” to stay and for a few minutes consider that maybe it is that deep.

i’m not sure if the original creator was talking about all “spicy” books or a particular genre of spicy books (like dark romance, sports romance, erotica in general, etc). but i definitely do think that some of the most popular booktok books do romanticize abuse. i’ve read enough colleen hoover to know that that’s true, and i’m sure her books are tame compared to some of the dark romance novels.

my controversial take (that i honestly don’t think is that controversial, i just don’t hear many people say it out loud) is that most of the people who are deeply obsessed with those booktok books have a ton of internalized misogyny to unpack—which is why they either can’t see or refuse to see the problematic elements within that content, because then they’d have to examine it within themselves. those books uphold and perpetuate deeply hegemonic ideas about gender and sexuality (particularly in cis, straight relationships) and many of their readers hold those same beliefs.

the way i feel about this is similar to how i feel about women and our relationship to wearing make up/removing body hair/etc. we’ve been fed this lie that we wear make up for ourselves and shave because it makes us “feel good” (i blame terfs and choice feminism), but with few exceptions, that’s not true. we do it because we’re trying to fit a social norm that was created to uphold heteropatriarchy. we do it as gender performance. i still wear makeup! i still shave! but i know that’s why i do it and i’m honest with myself about it. and the same goes for these types of books. you don’t like stalker romances simply because you think they’re dark and sexy. you think they’re dark and sexy because patriarchy has ingrained in you that men disregarding consent and overstepping your boundaries again and again should be acceptable if he’s attractive enough. you can still read them, you can still enjoy them, just think critically.

there are obviously nuances and exceptions to all of this, and there are stories that explore themes of abuse without trivializing or romanticizing them (ie. a lot of horror and gothic romance), but that’s a whole other conversation.

honestly, i could talk about this for hours and i have so much more to say so this is a really condensed (lol i know) version of my thoughts, but i hope it gives you a good sense of how i feel.

#sorry this is so long!!#but i hope it makes some sense #asks #anon #books #booktok

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rubikswriter · 5 months ago

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Heavy is the crown - a Caitlyn Kiramman character analysis.

(Tumblr really messed the formatting up on this, and it’s like 15k so there’s no way I’m editing it again - check my Twitter RubiksGaming12 to read it in it’s correctly formatted form)

I’ll preface this by saying that I have no prior knowledge of LoL lore, but I’m a big fan of angsty, nuanced characters, and that’s why I want to talk about Caitlyn Kiramman.

I’m sure this has all been talked to death in the fandom, but from my brief time in it, I can see a lot of varying - although mostly negative - views on Caitlyn. Especially in season 2. Caitlyn, however, is a character who has swiftly made her way onto my favourites list and I feel the overwhelming need to wax poetically about her.

I love a character that’s been consumed by darkness in some way and attempts to find their way back; from Darth Vader, to Xena, to Villanelle. I love all the shades of grey these characters bring; that not every act of good is seen in absolute glowing white and every negative in pure darkness. To me this teetering on the line in between is what makes for such rich characters to experience, explore, and devour.

I’ll start by saying that one of my favourite things about Arcane is how it doesn’t hold your hand the entire time. It’s not always direct, slammed in your face, explanation. It asks you to pay attention; to look, and listen, and think. It wants you to make the connections, to see the use of lighting, of revisiting environments, of the connection to the music/score. It wants you to question.

Would we all have liked more episodes? Hell yes. However, I think the show does a wonderful job with Cait’s character arc within time/ep restraints it had.

With that said, if you hold negative views on Caitlyn, my thoughts on this definitely won’t interest you in the slightest. You’ll keep your opinion, and I’ll keep mine. Art is subjective after all. But if you want to share thoughts and opinions and discuss openly, then please do. I love hearing and delving into all theories.

So with that said, let’s break my thoughts down —

Caitlyn is a Kiramman; a member of an influential house in Piltover. Her family's reputation precedes them, especially with her mother on the council. I think it’s safe to say that with such a privileged upbringing, when we meet Caitlyn in Season 1, it’s obvious that she has been sheltered from the depth and reality of the systemic divide between Piltover and Zaun, and just how oppressed the Zaunites really are.

But there’s more to Caitlyn than her just being another mere, blindly accepting member of the Piltover elite. In fact the show hints that it's a direct result of her elite heritage, that Caitlyn grows into such an ambitious, confident, woman who has an unwavering, determined, drive to prove herself on her own merits rather than just on the coattails of her family name.

We see her kindness shown in her friendship with Jayce, a man older than her and sponsored by her parents, a person considered below her on the social ladder, and yet he’s her one true friend. She’s interested in his ideas, has concern and fondness for him. It presents Caitlyn as someone who goes against the grain of what’s expected of her, her curiosity of wanting to know and understand more than just the high society she’s part of is evident. It’s something that we see that sets her apart from the majority of her peers who are content with their lives and have no desire to question it.

I believe it’s her ambitious drive and her natural, kind curiosity that sets up the basis for her arc in Season 1.

We see her commitment to her marksmanship in the flashback, she’s damn good at the skill she’s worked hard to hone, and yet we see Cait questioning her own merit when Grayson appears to let her win. Her first thought is ‘did my parents pay you to let me win?’ which is such a sombre reality. Has this happened before? It appears that even from a young age the weight of the name Kiramman is something that’s been weighing Cait down. A burden of expectation and equally a privileged advantage, even when it’s perhaps not deserved or wanted.

When Grayson says she let Cait win not because her parents paid her, but because she thought Cait deserved it, it validates Caitlyn in a way not many people do. Especially when Grayson is more skilled and less privileged than her. She tells Caitlyn that she doesn’t need to win, that protecting the people is the reward in itself. I think this interaction further unlocks and propels Caitlyn’s desire to earn respect rather than have it given to her because of her name.

So when Grayson asks her ‘what are you shooting for?’ I think Caitlyn is finally able to give herself the luxury and agency to decide to want more for herself than what is simply expected, and to go after that, no matter what people think. Her parents included.

That scene with Grayson, I felt, was vital in seeing, at least partly, why Caitlyn becomes an enforcer. It gives her a sense of purpose outside of the family ties. Something that’s just hers. Something she can achieve and be proud of, and something she can outwardly present amongst the community she lives in. She holds firm in her resolve and assurance that she’s made the right choice for herself even when her mother tries to keep her safe by limiting her work, and when her peers snigger mockingly at her that she should be at the cocktail party rather than guarding it.

After Jinx’s attack and her removal from the enforcers at her mother’s request, we see Caitlyn become even more solidified in her self belief. While she may be a little idealistic and naive to the wider workings of the world, Caitlyn proves she’s an intelligent, kind, empathetic person, and has a fire in her for seeking justice and protecting people. She genuinely seems to want to make a difference, and I think that’s why she fixates on the investigation of corruption in Piltover and how deeply connected that is to Zaun and its underworld. It’s another chance to prove herself to those that don’t truly see her as more than the Kiramman name.

This is obviously driven further when she meets Vi and has her released to help facilitate her investigation. Having Vi be her guide through the Undercity allows Cait to have her eyes opened to a different perspective than her own, and challenges Topside’s preconceptions about bottom. It’s seeing through Vi’s eyes that enlightens Cait to Zaun’s true struggles and drives her desire to want to help and advocate for Zaun further. While realising at the same time that the Piltover Caitlyn thinks she knows is equally corrupt in parts (Marcus’ betrayal highlighting this).

It’s through Vi’s eyes, through her struggles, through their developing trust and connection that we the viewer can recognise that Caitlyn is meant to represent the moral compass of the show in S1 — She’s the one that gets us, the audience, to also question what Cait thinks she knows, versus the reality of what she’s now learnt (Silco, shimmer, Marcus, Jinx, Ekko and the firelights); that there is no good and bad, only shades of grey between the twin cities.

In understanding Caitlyn as the character we get introduced to in season 1, I think it’s really important to understand that it’s Caitlyn’s privilege that gives her the knowledge and position to try to drive a change forward. But it’s her character outside of her privilege; her kindness, her empathy, her risk taking and her willingness to challenge rules and ideals that makes her the right choice to help. Vi and Ekko aren’t trusting just any Piltie to help them, they’re trusting Caitlyn because of all that she exudes and stands for. It's unknown to Vi and Ekko at that time that Caitlyn is a Kiramman, or the weight that name holds. Caitlyn never divulges that about herself, instead she mentions Jayce, her friends being on the council. But we the audience know that it’s her family name that gives Caitlyn immediate access to her mother and the council where others - like Vi, Ekko, and the other Zaunites - would not have such a chance.

We see, through her relationship with Vi, that Caitlyn doesn’t use her privilege to overshadow Vi and the Zaunties' struggles. She moves the pieces into place because she has the entitlement to do so. She lets Violet be the mouthpiece for herself and the Undercity’s struggles when addressing the council, showing that she sees Vi and the Zaunites as equals.

When Caitlyn’s mother is introduced to us, we understand that she’s not a big fan of Caitlyn essentially lowering the family name by becoming an enforcer, and that she purposely interfered in Caitlyn’s work to protect her; moving her to stand guard at her tent, and having Cait dismissed from the enforcers after the initial Jinx attack. However, Cassandra Kiramman clearly loves her daughter and after hearing how passionate she is, listening to Caitlyn outline the failings of the council she sits on, she schedules the councillors for Cait and Vi to talk with.

‘You’re a councillor’s daughter, your actions reflect on the entire body,’

‘You know what else reflects on the council? Its citizens living on the streets, being poisoned, having to choose between a kingpin who wants to exploit them and a government that doesn’t give a shit.’

We can see in this exchange just how much Caitlyn has grown from episode 1-8, and I could talk so much more about her growing relationship with Vi in season 1, but I think we all can agree that Vi grounds Caitlyn. She shows Caitlyn a world she hadn’t ever truly seen or understood. Vi challenges her in ways Caitlyn has never been challenged before, and she sees Caitlyn as she is; as simply Cait. Something that nobody else does. The fact that Caitlyn is a Kiramman is an afterthought, something Vi only learns later on when Caitlyn insists she can help with Zaun’s plight.

Even when Caitlyn fails to achieve what they want from the council she remains determined to try again, but it’s Vi that walks away. It’s Vi that can only see how to do things one way and knows that she has to leave Caitlyn behind to do it. Vi, I feel, is essentially protecting Caitlyn from something she knows Caitlyn doesn’t fully understand and never can simply because of their separate birthrights. She will never really be able to understand that oppression, and Vi is too afraid/guilty to relinquish what little control she has left when it comes to Jinx.

Caitlyn acts in the council meeting according to the hierarchy she grew up in, something that Vi doesn’t have the luxury to indulge in. That’s why she walks away and goes to Jayce. Vi needs to take things into her own hands to try and save her sister and deal with Silco, she chooses the undercity way and leaves Caitlyn to mull over the topside approach. Vi’s own guilt gives her a heavy burden of responsibility that she can’t let go of.

We see after their separation that Caitlyn isn’t content with Topside’s action, or inaction, she’s frustrated with the lack of doing nothing but not doing enough. We see this when she’s in the shower thinking of Vi; her image represents what Caitlyn wants to fight for, what she can’t let go of now. A better life for them all. I truly believe that Caitlyn, with her dogged determination, would have tried again and again and again to help Vi with Jinx and Silco, and would have found a way to persuade the council to help the Undercity heal. It’s the first real indication we get that Vi has become one of Caitlyn’s biggest strengths, but will also become one of Caitlyn’s biggest weaknesses, as we see at the end of Season 1.

This all pieces together when Jinx foils Caitlyn’s plans to try and help and kidnaps her. Instead of Caitlyn working towards finding a balanced, diplomatic, solution that will benefit Piltover/Zaun and bridge the divide, we get Caitlyn receiving a nice dose of trauma; Jinx threatening her life and blowing up the council tower. Topped with the crushing burden of conflict and guilt; having the shot on Jinx but not being able to take it due to her loyalty and affection for Vi.

It’s this event and every moment that happens during it that shapes the foundation of Caitlyn’s arc for season 2.

——

We start season 2 with the consequences of the actions of season 1. Jinx is free and Caitlyn’s mother was killed along with some of the other councillors thanks to Jinx’s attack. This is already an intolerable pill for Caitlyn to swallow, knowing that not only did she have the shot on Jinx that could have prevented her mother’s death, but I’m sure Mel makes it known to her that she and the council were voting in favour of Zaun having independence.

As such Season 2 is rich with character development for Caitlyn, and I think the best way I can share my thoughts on it is to break it down into her development journey per act.

Alongside looking at the events/effects of each act on Caitlyn’s character I want to focus on the three faces Cait claims to haunt her in S2E1; her mother (whose memory is manipulated by Ambessa), Jinx, and Vi. I believe that individually these three characters are the driving force behind Caitlyn’s descent to darkness and also her light back to the good woman we know Caitlyn Kiramman is at her core.

Let’s start with Ambessa since I feel like her role is critical to Caitlyn’s moral downfall. However, in order to fully understand Caitlyn’s descent into darkness in season 2 I believe it’s vital to understand Ambessa, her motives, and her role in manipulating Caitlyn for her own gain.

So let’s jump back a second and look at Ambessa before we dissect season 2:

In season 1 Ambessa arrives in Piltover under the false pretense of visiting her estranged daughter Mel - who we all know is a wealthy and powerful

Councillor in the city - and confides in Mel about her brother, Kino’s death. It seems Ambessa feels responsible for her son's death, and that she’s certain those responsible for his death will continue to seek revenge upon the Medarda’s and Noxus.

This brings us to the real reason for Ambessa’s visit. Having grown aware of Piltover’s progress with Hextech, Ambessa sees the opportunity to create and use Hextech weaponry to protect her family and thwart any threat to her people. Essentially, Ambessa begins her game of manipulation early in season 1 by hoping to convince Mel to engage in war with the Undercity using the weaponised Hextech to squash the conflict. Ambessa sees these two cities and the tensions between them as a testing ground for Hextech weapons, and a chance to grab power, which luckily Mel sees through and prevents.

With Mel not being so easily manipulated, aware of her mother’s warmongering ways, Ambessa quickly changes strategies and attempts to manoeuvre Hextech’s creator, Jayce, into weaponizing the technology. While Jayce refuses at first, Vi tempts him further, and together they take Hextech weapons into the Undercity with the goal of attacking Silco’s shimmer factories, only for Jayce to end up accidentally killing a child working in one. This immediately stops Jayce and ruins Ambessa’s second attempt at manipulation to mass weaponise Hextech.

With promises of allowing Mel to return home to Noxus with her if Mel will simply allow the war between Piltover and Zaun to happen, Ambessa makes her final move of season 1. Luckily Mel stays true to herself, and right before Jinx blows up the council building, Mel sides with Jayce in offering Zaun independence, and encourages the other councillors to do the same.

It’s as we head into season 2, in the wake of Jinx’s attack on Piltover, that we see Ambessa use the chaos to reestablish her footing and create another angle of manipulation to work with.

She first tries to speak through Councilor Salo, which Mel catches immediately, knowing that her mother is determined to gain power. Mel agrees to invade the Undercity to capture Jinx but without Hextech weapons, once again stopping Ambessa’s push to put Hextech into weaponised action.

With Ambessa’s plot mapped, let’s move back to Season 2 and Caitlyn’s development:

Act 1:

Ep1 -

It’s important to note that even at this point in her grief Caitlyn is still fighting for the people of Zaun and trying to prevent a war; she stands by Jinx being solely responsible for the attack and doesn’t want Piltover to flood the Undercity with enforcers.

Because Ambessa failed to use Salo to get the councillors to invade Zaun with Hextech we see her next power play. She’s the one responsible for the memorial attack, she allows it to happen only to set herself up as the saviour with her Noxian troops. This act pushes her agenda forward, the next time the council meet they feel taken off guard, fearful and desperate to find a way to fight back and protect themselves. But before Ambessa can speak up, Caitlyn arrives with her strike team armed with Hextech weapons and does the task for her.

Caitlyn’s goal is obviously to minimise damage, which is a stark contrast to what Ambessa wants overall, however it’s the perfect way for Ambessa to test her goal. I believe it’s at this point that we witness Ambessa noticing Caitlyn for the first time and understanding her influence. Something Ambessa definitely notes for later on.

Next we have Caitlyn’s relationship with Vi to consider.

It complicates Caitlyn’s grief. What should be a simple anger becomes a layered torment. How do you openly and intensely hate the sister of someone you care about? How does Caitlyn move past understanding Vi’s care for Jinx and refusal to give up on her at the end of season 1? Especially when that reality caused Caitlyn to hold back, go against her gut instinct, not shoot, and ultimately allow Jinx to kill her mother and further divide Piltover and Zaun.

The scene with her dad expands this conflict. Her guilt and self blame are evident when she admits she had the shot on Jinx. We see it manifesting in her refusal to willingly accept the Kiramman key. From someone so confident and self assured in season 1, we quickly see Caitlyn displaced and unsure. She’s gone from knowing the safety of her place in the Piltover hierarchy chain, to suddenly having to step up and fill that role her mother held. It’s a big responsibility and one Caitlyn doesn’t feel deserving or sure of.

(Adding to this quickly that I love that it pans to Vi overhearing Caitlyn’s confessions, I think it perfectly foreshadows that Vi is going to have to witness someone else she loves descending down a path that’s a product of her actions. What a heavy cross to bear (maybe I’ll do a deep dive on Vi next)).

I also think it’s important that we talk about how Caitlyn is someone who keeps her emotions close to her chest, whereas Vi wears hers on her sleeve. Caitlyn’s grief is all over her face but it isn’t necessarily spoken aloud, she isn’t a blubbering mess. She only cries when she has the safety of Vi to be vulnerable with, and even then she only allows herself a brief moment. In true Caitlyn fashion, she then throws herself back into her way of dealing with her grief through action. I guess it makes sense that she feels inaction is what caused her pain, so of course going with the enforcers to find Jinx in the Undercity is a good idea.

What perhaps isn’t her best idea is asking Vi to put on an enforcer badge and join her. I think Caitlyn is super clouded by her own grief here to even consider whether this is a good idea or not, especially given what she knows about Vi’s past. However, I would say that I truly believe that Caitlyn believes she’s asking Vi to join her for the right reasons. We witnessed Cait try and dissuade the council to invade Zaun already, so to think that Caitlyn believes that Vi’s presence on the enforcers side would help bridge a divide between Piltover and Zaun isn’t out of the realm of possibility. It makes sense for Cait to think that showing unity against Jinx would send a good message to the people of both cities. It also acts to ease Caitlyn’s own fears about Vi’s feelings towards her and Jinx. Where does Vi’s allegiance lie now? Can Vi see that Jinx is too far gone now and trust Cait to make the right decision? It’s a risk but a reassurance I think Cait desperately needs from Vi to anchor herself.

Even though Vi initially rejects her offer to join the enforcers, after the memorial attack, when we see Caitlyn at her most unbalanced, Vi is there once again to provide comfort to Caitlyn at her most vulnerable. Vi understands what Caitlyn needs from her. I think at this point Vi is consumed by her own pain and guilt, and that while she clearly can’t mend Jinx’s heart, perhaps she can protect Cait’s. It’s why I believe Vi ultimately joins the strike team Caitlyn sets up. She feels a sense of responsibility to put things right too. It’s a tentative balance between the two of them; it’s the promise of action without overzealous violence hinged on an achievable goal of apprehending Jinx.

We see Caitlyn, for the most part, admirably hiding her pain, grief, and self blame for her mother’s death (as Mel tells Jayce) but we also see glimpses of her strong facade cracking with anger at Jinx.

Her anguish and guilt begin to manifest into hatred, and we see this evidently in Caitlyn’s visualisation of taking the shot at Jinx. This externalised hatred of Jinx is understandable in the wake of her mother’s death, and has left Caitlyn’s family with a gaping hole that she herself now has to quickly navigate to fill.

While Jinx isn’t part of the memorial attack it triggers a reaction in Caitlyn; her pain and anger breaking free and making her lash out. We see her in her grief going from defending Zaun; ‘there’s good people down there’ to ‘they’re animals’. While that thought doesn’t grow further yet (thanks to Vi’s grounding presence) it does seed and begin to take root inside Caitlyn, waiting to blossom later in the season.

Ep 2 & 3:

Episodes 2 & 3 take a closer look at Caitlyn’s invasion of the Undercity with her strike team. So I’m going to combine my thoughts for them.

We see at the end of episode 1 that Caitlyn discovers the creation of the ventilation system the Kiramman’s created to provide clean air to the Undercity. Now this next part seems to be where I witness a lot of hatred and negativity of Caitlyn’s character journey this season coming from.

While I completely agree that her use of the gas in the Undercity is a bold and controversial choice, I think there’s a misunderstanding of how Caitlyn was using the gas. I get the sense that people think she was just gassing the whole of the Undercity when in reality she states what she plans to do with the gas in her mission outline; locate Jinx, dismantle shimmer and neutralise any agents still loyal to Silco.

Remember Vi is part of this strike team, I doubt she’s letting Caitlyn murderously gas her people. Instead, she’s probably guided Caitlyn into where the shimmer factories and the gangs are located. It’s these areas that the gas is being used. Does this justify her use of the gas? I’m not sure. I think it’s a moral grey area. Does violence of any kind, from any side, justify a violent retaliation? I think this is sadly a case of human nature. It shows the cycle of hatred, of violence being used to justify peace. It’s a tale as old as time; everybody is the bad guy in somebody else’s story. It’s a cycle that keeps repeating until somebody breaks it.

And that’s the theme the show wants to explore in season 2. Caitlyn’s actions are unsettling. Rightfully so. It’s a breakdown of what happens to people’s morals when they’re challenged by outside forces they can’t control. I think Arcane takes these issues and presents them cleverly throughout the show, and to write a character off as simply bad or good is a disservice to the depth they’ve been given.

The show forces the audience to step into each characters shoes and ask:

‘how far are you willing to go for the people you love?’

‘How far is too far?’

‘How do you know when you’re crossed that line and can you stop yourself going further?’

‘Can you come back from that?’

‘What can you do to break the cycle?’

We see these questions starting to get asked as we move into the tail end of Act 1.

The montage at the start of episode 3 is super heavy with explanations of what exactly the strike team does in Zaun. Sadly, I do think if you’re casually watching some of the depth of this montage is lost which I’m assuming is a time restraint/stylistic choice that had to be made for S2.

That said, let’s look at it carefully:

I feel like the bright colours are really menacing here, especially when you see Caitlyn and co fully suited up with the green gas behind them. It makes the image of the gangs running away look small and weak in comparison. When in reality we know these guys have helped Silco flood the lanes with Shimmer and are definitely part of the violence in the Undercity. It then flickers through scenes of the team fighting against the gangs, of them achieving their objective to dismantle shimmer and neutralise anyone still loyal to Silco. But it also makes a point to show Caitlyn apprehending these criminals in a non-lethal way; it seems she fires the same net-type bullets the enforcers fired at Vi and Powder way back in the opening episodes as they escaped from Jayce’s apartment. Most importantly it shows them holding Jinx’s wanted poster, inquiring for her whereabouts. This, we know, is the driving force behind all of Cait’s actions. A venture that is clearly proving fruitless so far. It’s clear that Jinx’s continued allusion only heightens Caitlyn’s grief and anger.

While searching the Undercity for Jinx, we see Caitlyn, Vi and the others looking for Jinx in the old arcade where Vi and Jinx played as children. The use of the gas and seeing Vi playing enforcer enrages Jinx and she taunts Caitlyn by switching on the moving targets and momentarily appearing behind one before disappearing once more. While Maddie confirms the place is all clear, Caitlyn appears to begin to hyperventilate, her frustration with not apprehending Jinx clearly agitating her and teetering her closer and closer to the edge of her grief and control. She shoots where she was certain she saw Jinx standing, showing her ability to follow through with her shot now, and once more it’s Vi that has to approach her and ground her, bringing Caitlyn back from the Jinx demon plaguing her.

I want to make a point of noting that Vi is involved in the entirety of the strike team invasion into Zaun. This doesn’t make the use of the gas a right, but it does draw a line under what even Vi thinks is acceptable for Silco’s goons to suffer in their quest to get Jinx. When Jinx confronts Vi about this later, Vi even says they were using the gas to minimise damage (note - Cait hasn’t lost all morals) - ‘We used the grey to clear the streets. To keep people safe.’

We see Jinx using one of the Chembarons’s minions to lure Caitlyn and Vi further down into the pipeworks. While questioning the guy, Caitlyn continues off the back of her agitation from ep2, her frustration at not having found Jinx already making her snappy and twitchy. When Caitlyn demands an answer on how Heenot got there, she looks far too trigger happy, and Vi immediately notices the unsettled shift in Caitlyn, moving to kneel in front of Heenot. This serves to put her in Cait’s eyeline in an attempt to ground her once more. Vi gets the answer Caitlyn was seeking without violence but instead of calming Caitlyn, the knowledge that Jinx is close by only seems to amplify Cait’s vehement determination for vengeance.

Vi can see Caitlyn is becoming increasingly consumed by her hatred and asks to speak to her for a moment and then— well, let’s go ahead and talk about the kiss. That first kiss…

I personally think that Vi’s voice actor Hailee Steinfeld and writer Amanda Overton give voice to my feelings on this far more coherently than I ever could:

‘The dialogue before [the kiss] says it all. Vi's in a place where she's lost everything. She's lost anything and everything she's ever felt seen by or close to," Steinfeld continued. "The only way she has any of it left is through Caitlyn, and she's now asking a lot of her, asking her not to change given what she's now going through. I think it unlocks a newfound vulnerability.’

While Amanda adds to this:

“To me, that kiss, because it comes so early in their arc, was always meant to be the right thing for the wrong reasons. You want to feel really good because they’re finally kissing, but the promise that Vi asks her in her desperation is an impossible ask. Caitlyn responds in a way where she wants this to be true, Vi wants this to be true. Both of them want this to be true, so kissing was their way of covering that up.”

I think the kiss acts as a balm to both of their insecurities and guilt about their roles in the losses they’ve faced and may face again. Do either of them believe the promise, I’m not convinced, but it’s an important moment for Caitlyn to feel reassured by Vi’s loyalty. It feels like Vi has her back as they now approach Jinx, and that if Caitlyn can make the shot, she has Vi’s blessing to do so. Vi is her strength and Caitlyn needs that before she comes face to face with Jinx once again.

The only problem with the kiss and the faux promise is that it’s fine in theory but not in practice. I think Vi was trying to convince herself she could let Jinx go for Cait’s sake, but once she sees her, especially with Isha, Vi can’t commit to it.

This is the driving wedge between her and Caitlyn, because that kiss promise they just made, well in Caitlyn’s eyes, Vi didn’t keep it. It feels like betrayal. Vi has prevented her from taking the shot against Jinx twice now.

This is the pivotal moment that ultimately leads to Caitlyn being unable to untangle Vi from Jinx in her mind. Her feelings are too clouded by her grief, and her anger finally shifts from Jinx to Vi. Vi, who in Cait’s eyes, let her down. It’s heartbreaking but in the next moment Vi pays the price for Caitlyn’s transferred anger by taking Caitlyn’s rifle to her gut. And just like that, Caitlyn breaks her promise too.

Has she really changed or is Caitlyn merely lost in her own self hatred, grief, insecurity and guilt? Whatever the answer is, without Vi, Caitlyn no longer has an anchor to stop herself spiralling completely. It leaves her vulnerable and open to manipulation as we see.

We see Ambessa growing impatient after Amara attacks her and reveals the Black Rose are aware that Ambessa isn’t relenting in their feud, instead she’s in Piltover looking for an advantage by gaining access to Hextech weapons. As a result Ambessa returns to manipulate Salo, wanting to use the councillor to once again to push her agenda and gain more control. But Salo is equally frustrated by his use in Ambessa’s plan. It’s during Ambessa’s exchange with Salo that Caitlyn comes up again.

We know Ambessa has taken note of Caitlyn when she stormed the council with her strike team idea and thwarted her attempt to use Salo to urge the council into a full invasion of Zaun, but in this next exchange with Salo we see Ambessa once again grasping exactly why Caitlyn could be the key to her power play.

‘It’s enough work propping you up without you dulling what few wits are left rattling around in there.’

‘If you propped as well as you prod, maybe I’d have better uses for my time than sitting around waiting for an update on Princess Kiramman’s underground escapades. She’s gotten no closer to Jinx. But that doesn’t seem to steal the stars from anyone’s eyes.’

‘Perhaps if you hadn’t let the child overpower you in your own chamber.’

‘It’s not the girl. It’s the name. It bewitches people.’

Ambessa, at this point, still intends to use Salo as her puppet by gathering the elite of Piltover, so she can essentially speak through Salo, and urge for further action to be taken against Zaun. However, the knowledge she’s gained about Caitlyn from Salo comes in very useful when Ambessa actually makes her play for power at the end of episode 3.

Mel even notes how clever and strategic Ambessa is when talking with Lest, ‘everything with my mother is a calculated risk’ showing that Ambessa will do whatever is necessary to achieve what she wants. This becomes even easier for Ambessa to do with Mel and Jayce out of the picture, leaving Piltover wide open to her manipulation.

Ambessa takes advantage of the Jinx/Zaunite attacks on Piltover and Amara’s disappearance (or shall I say, her own cover up) to create a new narrative. She starts by using Salo as her mouthpiece, here he lays the foundation that Ambessa is a trusted and worthy ally for Piltover. Whose experience Piltover should take advantage of. Ambessa continues this narrative, painting herself as a kind ally who was simply going to help Amara rebuild Piltover before the Zaunties attacked again.

Ambessa uses the continued and growing fear of the Piltover elite to encourage the conflict - ‘wrath must be met with wrath.’ - setting up the idea of martial law as a necessary move to protect the people and return Piltover to safety once more. We see Salo thinking he’s finally going to be rewarded for being Ambessa’s puppet, only for Ambessa to manoeuvre past him. She takes the knowledge he’s given her about Caitlyn Kiramman and the worth of her name and chooses her to command instead.

Ambessa knows of Caitlyn’s grief and her unwavering desire to bring Jinx to justice in vengeance for her mother’s death, and now Ambessa can take Caitlyn Kiramman and twist her focus to encompass more. Caitlyn Kiramman can be the pawn Ambessa uses to start the conflict between Piltover and Zaun. Caitlyn Kiramman will get the elite to listen. Caitlyn Kiramman will use Hextech weaponry to do so, and in doing so, Caitlyn Kiramman will give Ambessa the power she needs to confront the Black Rose.

At first Caitlyn is shocked by Ambessa’s decision to choose her for command but once Ambessa and the Noxian’s begin their chest salute, Caitlyn becomes overwhelmed with the pressure of the Kiramman name. She told her dad she didn’t feel worthy or ready, and here is Ambessa, someone the Piltover elite now trust, someone with experience, who is saying she believes Caitlyn is the right person to protect the people. It forces Caitlyn to step up and fill that hole her mother left; to represent Piltover as a Kiramman. Ambessa achieves this cleverly by taking advantage of Caitlyn at her lowest. Ambessa plays into the combination of Caitlyn’s own guilt, grief and self loathing and peer pressure, and buckles Caitlyn to her will, molding her into a Commander who will carry out unspeakable things to grasp power.

Let’s talk about the persuasion of the peer pressure - it’s peer pressure that comes not only from the Noxian army but also from Caitlyn’s own enforcers - Maddie being the one to chest salute from Piltover’s side first. It’s not surprising given we know she’s a spy - but before this knowledge is gained Maddie is seen as a good hearted, kind enforcer wanting to do the right thing. Without Vi there to question and anchor Caitlyn, Maddie is a familiar and reassuring face Cait can turn to. So when Maddie joins the Noxians supporting Caitlyn for commander, so too does everybody else. Now it’s Piltover looking at Caitlyn to make this right.

What do you do when someone you think you trust encourages you to step up? When everyone who relies on the Kiramman name wants to believe in you? It feels like a task Caitlyn cannot fail in… not like she failed her mother.

Ambessa, seeing Caitlyn beginning to cave to the responsibility, uses the rawness of Caitlyn’s grief to manipulate her again, just as Caitlyn might possibly be starting to question it all. Before the doubts can fully form in her head, Ambessa is there, oinking her poison into Caitlyn’s ear - ‘your mother will have justice. I swear it’.

There’s that question for Caitlyn and the audience again - how far are you willing to go for those you love?

It’s Ambessa’s manipulation at its finest, a final, powerful shove in the direction Ambessa wants, and Caitlyn, in her broken state, falls for it.

It’s these events of the entirety of Act 1 that I believe sways Cait into taking the position of commander. By giving Caitlyn the power of command over the enforcers and her Noxian army, Ambessa enables Caitlyn to descend into an even darker spiral of moral ambiguity.

Act 2 -

Ep 4 -

In the opening montage we see Caitlyn’s martial law in effect. Under her visage, the enforcers and Noxians flood the Undercity, hunting Jinx, and arresting those they see as a threat. We can all agree here that Caitlyn’s morals have tumbled; she allows a (necessary - Cait’s opinion, not mine) increased amount of violence in order to maintain control, and this is obviously met with resistance from the Zaunties. It’s the cycle of violence churning, and Caitlyn, under Ambessa’s guidance allows it to happen fuelled by her hyper-fixation on capturing Jinx.

I’d like to point out that the use of the Jinx wanted posters throughout this episode is huge. For Caitlyn and Piltover, Jinx is justification for what they’re doing. And for Zaun, Jinx becomes the one thing they can all start to unite behind despite their differences; in the most ironic turn around, Jinx becomes a symbol of hope and rebellion for Zaun against their oppressors.

Despite Caitlyn being in command of the martial law taking place, I think the scene with Maddie highlights that she hasn’t disowned her morals entirely, they haven’t changed, they’ve just become clouded by her grief and Ambessa’s manipulating encouragement. We get a hint of this as it appears that Caitlyn isn’t sleeping well, the tensions between the two cities clearly playing heavily on her mind. We see further hints of this when Caitlyn confesses to Maddie that she didn’t think the invasion would go on so long.

‘I never expected this to go on so long. I thought… I don’t know what I thought. Just… it wasn’t this.’- this shows that Caitlyn didn’t know what exactly she was taking on when she took command. How could she? Before any of this happened she was an enforcer with restricted responsibility thanks to the protection of her mother, and now she’s not only in charge of her house and its legacy, but she’s taken control of Piltover’s safety. It’s a big burden to bear and it’s clear the direction she’s taken has left her uncertain about her choices.

Maddie in return seems to act as both the angel and devil on Cait’s shoulders, in one breath she’s endorsing the Noxian’s increasing violence by reassuring Cait that it’s for Piltover’s safety, and the next she’s telling Caitlyn she could withdraw from the Undercity. Without Vi there now to ground Caitlyn in the harsh realities of her choices, Maddie’s angel/devil act further serves as part of Ambessa’s manipulation, isolating Caitlyn in Ambessa’s ideals alone, and keeps Caitlyn spiraling even when her morals begin to creep back in and make her conviction wobble slightly.

When Maddie teasingly calls Caitlyn ‘Ambessa’ it snaps Caitlyn out of her disillusionment, and keeps her focused on her unfulfilled goal of getting Jinx, citing that Ambessa’s methods do work. She’s delivering what she promised Piltover and Caitlyn she would deliver, and all Caitlyn has to do is stay on the path Ambessa has set out before her.

Maddie also uses this opportunity to try and make Caitlyn feel in control. While Caitlyn’s doubts about the marital law materialise, Maddie forces Caitlyn to look at herself in the mirror and reminds her that Caitlyn is the leader they follow. It catapults Caitlyn back to the weight of responsibility she feels in the wake of losing her mother. Piltover chose her because she’s a Kiramman and Caitlyn cannot let them down, she has a hole to fill. This pushes her to ignore any niggling doubts and press forward with her efforts to secure Jinx.

Another scene where we can see that Caitlyn isn’t completely lost in her darkness is during her exchange with Ambessa. Ambessa rightfully notes that Jinx’s return will further ignite Zaun’s resistance to the martial law, but that it also finally gives them a lead on Jinx. When Caitlyn doesn’t seem elated at the news, Ambessa questions why Caitlyn isn’t more encouraged.

It’s here that Caitlyn’s core morals and doubts of Ambessa begin to shine through again. Caitlyn questions why Ambessa has urged the Noxians to become more violent, and Ambessa is clear in her response; someone in Zaun knows where Jinx is and she will use whatever force is necessary to get the answer.

Caitlyn is relentless though, and her core morals once again challenge Ambessa’s approach - ‘arrests require cause’ - showing that Caitlyn is still trying to stay within a somewhat structured justice system. She might be ruthless and unyielding in her quest for Jinx but she’s not trying to be unnecessarily cruel.

Ambessa is always one step ahead though and we see her try to pacify Caitlyn’s doubts by reminding her of her duty to Piltover - ‘what greater cause is there than returning peace to this city?’

But Caitlyn isn’t entirely pacified by Ambessa’s remarks and we see her challenge her back with an important question; ‘why is peace always the justification for violence?’

This is a question not only for Ambessa and Caitlyn but also the audience. It asks the audience to think about this statement in regards to the whole show; to every character. How far is too far? When do you stop yourself from becoming something other than yourself in the name of protecting/saving those you love?

Ambessa responds by saying she understands how tiring vengeance can be, but she knows Caitlyn won’t be able to rest while she knows Jinx is out there. I believe this is one of the only honest moments Ambessa gives us. We know she too cannot rest while the Black Rose is out there threatening her family, it’s what drives her to achieve power and will keep driving her no matter the cost. But despite this brief moment of honesty, as per her character, Ambessa seizes the moment to manipulate Caitlyn again by questioning her conviction - ‘maybe I underestimated you. Maybe you have the strength I do not. To forgive and trust in tomorrow.’

By leaving the choice in Caitlyn’s hands Ambessa triggers Caitlyn to remember what her inaction caused her before; her mother’s death. It’s why we next see a guilt ridden Caitlyn at her mother’s statue and why, I believe, Cait can’t escape the darkness still clutching at her ankles yet. Having fallen victim to Ambessa manipulation once again we see her allowing the Noxian soldiers to carry out more violence and mass arresting of the Zaunties.

Last thought for episode 4 - Caitlyn’s face overlapping with Jinx’s wanted poster shows the monsters they’ve both become as a result of their traumas. Jinx is a product of her abandonment that festered (under Silco) into a chaotic resentment and anger towards Vi that fundamentally changed who she was/is. The same can be said for Caitlyn in Act 1-2. As a result of Jinx killing her mother, Caitlyn becomes a product of her trauma; her grief and guilt twist her empathy and understanding into that of unbridled anger (fuelled by Ambessa). Now Cait is left desperately seeking justice to soothe her wounds, and it causes her to commit horrible acts in her quest.

Even when Caitlyn does make attempts to remind herself of her true morals, she’s met with Jinx’s taunts, Vi’s betrayal (in her eyes) and Ambessa’s manipulation, just as Jinx always had Silco whispering in her ear.

It’s a cycle of anger and self destruction that Caitlyn and Jinx cannot break… not yet anyway.

Ep 5 -

We begin this episode with Caitlyn arriving at Stillwater in the wake of Warwick’s attack. She has to pass through the blood and bodies of her comrades and see first hand the destruction that’s taken place. While she and Ambessa question Singed over the attack, we see just how fractured Caitlyn’s mind is becoming the longer Jinx evades her. It seems here, that Caitlyn thought her dismantling of shimmer earlier on would slow/stop Zaun from producing chemically advanced weapons created from experiments. But the Warwick attack proves her wrong. Singed has created something far worse, and Caitlyn’s immediate response is to discover how it’s connected to Jinx.

It’s quite an ironic scene because Singed is almost mocking Caitlyn for being so single-minded. Zaun is more than just Jinx - something Caitlyn used to be able to comprehend before her grief - and he can see that Caitlyn is blinded to that, blaming her impatience and youth.

We also get to see here how Caitlyn has made use of Stillwater for those that she’s arrested during the period of martial law - ‘there are cells buried deep within this prison so devoid of light and fresh air and all basic human considerations that up till now, I have forbidden their use.’

Has Caitlyn wrongly arrested Zaunties? I have no doubt that she has. But has she tried not to go so far into the darkness that she forgets all her morals and becomes a complete monster? I think so. She remembers the torment and suffering Vi suffered in Stillwater (even when they’re apart Vi is the grounding force that tries to creep in and pull Caitlyn back from the worst of herself). I don’t think Caitlyn is cruel by nature. She does have a good heart. It's just buried so deep beneath her guilt and grief that she’s committed acts she never thought she would, and she can’t seem to stop committing them while she feels Jinx is still a threat to Piltover.

The last we see of Caitlyn in that scene she threatens Signed with spending the rest of his days in Stillwater. A promise she will keep if he doesn’t cooperate to help them destroy the beast.

When we next see Singed however, he’s with Ambessa. Ambessa who has quickly and strategically concluded that if Hextech is unreachable due to Jayce’s absence, the beast that Signed has created is the next best weapon she could have in her arsenal. Warwick might in fact be more powerful. Here Ambessa cuts a deal with Singed; his loyalty and the beast for her cause, in exchange for his freedom and allowance to keep experimenting. It’s clearly not something Ambessa informs Caitlyn of, who I’m assuming she keeps in the dark. Ambessa allows Caitlyn to keep believing that Singed is only being freed so that they can find the beast and destroy it before it attacks Piltover.

We get to see in this episode that the doubts we see Caitlyn beginning to have about Ambessa and the disillusionment we see Caitlyn facing about her role in the invasion of Zaun continue to gnaw at her, especially after Singed’s poignant remark that ‘no one in power is innocent.’ I think this is a statement that makes Caitlyn pause and look at herself. If Signed isn’t innocent for his creation, is she innocent for the violence she’s allowed?

When we next see Ambessa, Signed and Caitlyn share a scene together, it’s with Signed conducting an experiment that will hopefully allow them to locate the beast.

Caitlyn, who looks less than thrilled with the arrangement of his freedom, makes it known that she understood Signed’s barbed statement last time, and as a result she’s used her position as a Kiramman to look into him to discover how deep his crimes go. It also highlights that she distrusts the reasoning Ambessa has given her for Signed’s release. We know after all that during the previous episode Ambessa made it clear she couldn’t forgive and forget. That she would always fight and do whatever was necessary to win with no regrets.

What Caitlyn has discovered is that the Piltover academy once had a revered alchemist who was banished as a result of his work. The results of which were never recorded. We know from S1 that Jayce’s creation of Hextech was considered so dangerous that it almost got him banished until he stabilised it. But what does the Undercity have that’s equally as dangerous as Hextech and yet entirely unstable and uncontrollable; shimmer.

Caitlyn’s headstrong intellect makes a delightful return here when we see her work out that Singed was the banished alchemist Dr Reveck. She recoils in disgust at his creation of shimmer, which has always been a threat, not only to Piltover, but to Zaun. The damage of which Caitlyn saw firsthand in season 1 when she was in Zaun with Vi.

She calls Signed a monster and demands to know why he created shimmer and why he continues to experiment so dangerously that he creates these violent abominations.

For Singed the answer is easy - ‘Why does anyone commit acts others deem unspeakable? For love.’

At the sight of Signed’s daughter, kept alive by these unthinkable, grotesque experiments, Caitlyn is then forced to face an ugly truth, something which she and Singed both share. They have both committed horrible deeds to alleviate the harrowing pain of loss that only comes from losing someone you love.

It holds a mirror up to Caitlyn and her actions in such a raw way that I don’t think any other moment has done yet. Is this the wake up call Caitlyn needs to finally break the chains of Ambessa’s manipulation and away from the darkness pulling her further and further away from her true self?

I guess we’ll see.

——

Ep 6 -

While the previous episode gives us our first proper glimmer of hope that Caitlyn is slowly waking up from her darkness and may start breaking away from Ambessa soon, this episode gives us the culmination of events that actually drive Cait to that very point of disentangling herself from Ambessa’s web of manipulation.

But let’s rewind a second to see how exactly Caitlyn gets there.

Episode 6 starts off with a very clever and insightful fight sequence. Here we see Ambessa sparring with Caitlyn and training her in the Noxian ways.

Here are the key principles Ambessa teaches Caitlyn:

‘Noxus prizes strength above all else, defining it by three core principles. Vision. The top of the triangle, charting a course and having the wisdom to navigate it. This form is your base, child. Your eyes see what others don't. Might. Bending your environment to your will. Your speed is improving. But eventually you need force.’

‘Too much force exposes you to risk.’

‘Indeed. The last is guile. Phantoms. Tricksters. Mages. Absent honour. Absent accountability. Remember this, Caitlyn. Tunnels in your eyes. Lava in your veins. Shadows in your heart. This is the truth of combat.’

But oh no, that’s not all. Ambessa enlightens Caitlyn to her final, most important lesson:

‘I’ve discovered a fourth principle. One that heightens all others. Sacrifice. The temper born of suffering. We understand it as others cannot. We are kin.’

Now, this may just seem like Ambessa being Ambessa but it provides Caitlyn with two things:

1) her combat skill set has definitely approved under Ambessa and continues to do so

2) Caitlyn has the inner-knowledge of how Ambessa’s mind works.

This becomes vital later on in the remaining episodes.

Some people might be confused by Caitlyn’s participation here given that she was starting to doubt Ambessa in the previous episode. However, the beast is still at large and a threat to both Piltover and Zaun. Caitlyn needs to aid Ambessa in putting him down.

Singed leads Ambessa, Caitlyn and the Noxian army through Zaun to the commune Viktor has established. Here is where Signed has tracked his beast. While Ambessa seems hell bent on attacking the commune without a second thought in order to capture the beast, we see Caitlyn looking unsure. Her suspicions that Ambessa is up to something heighten when she allows Singed to enter the commune to talk to Viktor.

Up until this point Caitlyn believes their goal is to eliminate the beast since it’s such a threat to Piltover and Zaun, but when she witnesses Ambessa and Signed plotting together, I believe she starts questioning their true intent regarding the beast.

The next time we see Caitlyn she appears to be creeping around the outskirts of her and Ambessa’s makeshift camp. Why would she be doing that if she wasn’t doubting Ambessa and Singed? Caitlyn isn’t stupid, she knows Ambessa is highly driven by power, but power at the expense of a peaceful commune? I’m not sure even Caitlyn is willing to cross that line. Her morals have gotten lost but they haven’t gone completely. Caitlyn has always tried to hold onto them. We see that here again. These morals come rushing back when Caitlyn’s natural detective skills lead her to piece together that Ambessa and Signed are planning a way to capture the beast, not destroy it.

This to me is Caitlyn’s turning point, as she realises that Ambessa and Signed with the beast at their disposal will be a much bigger threat to Piltover and Zaun than Jinx ever could have been.

Caitlyn has already reached this conclusion before she spots someone creeping about and puts their ass on the ground. Before she realises it’s Vi creeping around.

The fact that it is Vi following Singed, and the fact that Vi is at the commune at all gives Caitlyn even greater reason to question Ambessa. These two may not have spoken in months but they see each other. They always have.

When Caitlyn says ‘you can’t be here’ it’s not because she doesn’t want to see Vi, or because she’s dismissing her, but because she knows Ambessa is dangerous. Because despite everything that’s happened Caitlyn wants to protect Vi. Plus, Caitlyn knows that Vi being there is a weakness for her, she won’t be able to do what she needs to do to stop Ambessa if she’s worrying about Vi in the crossfire.

It’s Vi, however, questioning Caitlyn in return that falters Caitlyn’s cold focus. Why is Caitlyn there on the job? And is she still acting like an unhinged mongoose?

Caitlyn mimics the insult of ‘mongoose’ but I think it’s the word ‘unhinged’ that cracks her steely veneer. Her grief and guilt did make her unhinged. The last time they were together she hit Vi in the stomach with her rifle in the wake of what she perceived as Vi’s betrayal of her. In the months since I’m sure that act has haunted Caitlyn. Vi disappeared from her life without another word and it’s because of Caitlyn’s actions.

(Was Maddie the perfect distraction to the heartbreak she caused herself? I think so. Maddie allowed Caitlyn not to think about Vi, and Caitlyn needed that in order to reassure herself that her actions were necessary and justified. A perfect example of ‘the worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves’).

Without Vi around, Caitlyn was able to really access those darker parts of herself, and while Caitlyn felt like she needed to do that in order to keep herself focused on Jinx, we can see the cost of it. We see it in Caitlyn’s uncertainty in her actions, in her doubts of Ambessa, in the threat of the beast, and in Vi’s appearance.

When Vi pushes Caitlyn off her in response, Caitlyn moves back limply, a little bit of the fight knocked out of her. Did Vi’s insult hold a mirror up to Caitlyn? I think so. It’s an uncomfortable pill to swallow, and we see that manifest in the way Caitlyn shifts her focus onto Vi’s hair.

‘Your hair. You look like an angry oil slick.’

‘Don’t sugarcoat it, cupcake.’

Vi doesn’t trade insults with Caitlyn. She doesn’t berate her further than getting Caitlyn to back off so she can sit up. Instead she takes Caitlyn’s comment and gives Caitlyn warmth in return. The use of the ‘cupcake’ nickname is familiar, affectionate. In that single moment it breaks the tension between them. Is there anger between them? Yes. Unresolved issues? Yes. But there’s also an innate trust. So when Vi asks what Caitlyn is doing at the commune, Caitlyn tells the truth. And when Caitlyn asks Vi why she’s there in return, Vi tells the truth.

‘We tracked some sort of new chemweapon down here. A bloodthirsty, murderous, beast. What are you doing here?’

‘Trying to save… my dad.’

We don’t see Vi reveal to Caitlyn the true extent of what happened to Vander, and Vi purposely omits Jinx’s involvement, but what she tells Caitlyn is enough for Caitlyn to make her decision to betray Ambessa.

We’ve seen time and time again that Vi fights because she’s always had to, but Caitlyn fights because she wants to. It’s what made Vi trust Caitlyn in the first place. And although she knows Caitlyn still hates/resents Jinx, she trusts Caitlyn enough in that moment to fight for what’s right like she always has before. Vi completely kills Caitlyn’s idea that Warwick is just a beast. The second Vi confides in her that this beast is actually Vander, her dad, Caitlyn starts seeing him as human. And not just any human; a human hugely important to Vi. Those doubts Caitlyn had about Ambessa and Singed? They’re cemented here. She trusts Vi and believes Vi, and that headstrong Caitlyn from S1 who wants to do the right thing and protect the people she loves? She shows up for Vi now.

Grayson once asked Caitlyn what she was shooting for, and we see the answer here clearly; Caitlyn will shoot to protect those she loves. Vi needs her help and her protection and Caitlyn is going to do just that because despite everything that's happened to them and between them, Caitlyn loves Vi. It’s that simple.

They’ve always worked better together, and we see that here. Their balance slowly returns as they plot to infiltrate Ambessa’s camp with Vi as Caitlyn’s prisoner. It creates a perfect distraction and takes Ambessa out of play, while Caitlyn stops Singed and saves Vander. If anybody could bring Caitlyn back out of her darkness and ground her, redirect her focus, and free her from Ambessa’s manipulation, it’s Vi.

The following scene between Ambessa, Vi and Caitlyn is amazing at showing just how much trust and understanding is still between Cait and Vi despite their bond not being fully healed. Caitlyn’s (fake) delivery of Vi into Ambessa’s hands cements Caitlyn as a worthy ally in Ambessa’s eyes. Remember, Ambessa sent a young Mel away because she considered Mel her weakness, and here we see Caitlyn handing over Vi, someone who Ambessa knows has Caitlyn’s heart (is her weakness). It’s such a powerplay from Caitlyn; she takes what she knows about how Ambessa’s mind works and uses that to her advantage to stage her betrayal.

Ambessa’s biggest mistake in this scene is her arrogance. She doesn’t consider for a second that Caitlyn will betray her. While she understands that Vi must be disposed of before she becomes a distraction for Caitlyn and ruins all of Ambessa’s manipulations, she fails to comprehend just how easily Vi could have gotten through to Caitlyn.

In fact, Ambessa even gloats about how Vi’s absence provided a vacuum she was able to fill in Caitlyn; with manipulation, with Maddie, with fuelled hatred. Without Vi to ground her, Caitlyn, in Ambessa’s eyes, was easily shaped into her cold, ruthless commander. She can’t have Vi ruining that now. It’s why she knows she has to kill her if she wants to keep Caitlyn as her puppet.

The problem with Ambessa putting all of her money on Caitlyn’s hate for Jinx being stronger than any of her past feelings for Vi, is that Ambessa completely fails to recognise that Vi has already saved Caitlyn. All it took was for their eyes to lock again and Vi shattered the hard shell Ambessa worked hard to build around Caitlyn.

Don’t get me wrong, Caitlyn was starting to save herself (unbeknown to Ambessa, thanks to her ego) but Vi showed up at the right time, in the right place and offered Caitlyn a hand. A hand that Caitlyn took without a second of doubt.

Ambessa overlooks the importance of Vi’s duality to Caitlyn, that’s she’s Caitlyn’s biggest weakness but she’s also her biggest strength, until it’s too late. Caitlyn is already distracted, she’s already made her choice; it’s Vi.

I think this shows major growth for Caitlyn, because even though she doesn’t know about Jinx’s involvement at this stage, she still chooses Vi over Ambessa. She chooses Vi over her mission. She chooses Vi over her grief. It doesn’t take back her mistakes but it sets Caitlyn back on the right path, the path where she will protect people, especially those she loves.

Caitlyn follows Vi’s plan to subdue Signed and attempts to help Vander but Rictus stops her. It seems that while Ambessa trusted Caitlyn, Rictus wasn’t convinced. Just as it looks like he will kill Caitlyn, Jinx fires a shot and saves her.

Does Jinx do it because she cares about Caitlyn? No. Jinx saves Caitlyn to save Vander. Does Jinx know deep down that killing Caitlyn would affect the bridges she’s building with Vi? I absolutely think so.

As Vander saves Jinx from Rictus we see Vi rush in and embrace her family. Caitlyn, while betrayed by Jinx’s unexpected involvement, and who is still knocked down on the floor, briefly locks eyes with Vi only to witness Vi smiling and happy with her family.

This is the first time Caitlyn gets to see Vi freely happy with the people she loves. All she’s ever witnessed from Vi before is pain. Pain at losing her parents, pain at losing Vander, pain at being locked away for years, pain for leaving Powder and having to accept Jinx. Pain from Caitlyn. And Jinx is right there too, looking happy and holding Vander and Vi in return. Has Vi forgiven Jinx? Can Vi forgive her? Can Caitlyn forgive any of it?

It’s a lot for Caitlyn to process and she doesn’t really get a chance to before Jayce hammers Viktor to death and sends the place into chaos.

Instead we see Caitlyn following behind Vi and Jinx as they run outside to see what’s going on. Warwick is back to being bloodthirsty now that Viktor is dead, and Ambessa has arrived with the Noxian army seeking revenge. Her eyes piercing Caitlyn glaringly for her betrayal before she attacks.

It’s important to note that not once during the fight sequence with Vander and the Noxians do we see Caitlyn try and take a shot at Jinx. She easily could have, at multiple points, but she doesn’t.

Why?

Because when she freed Vi from Stillwater in S1 she decided to trust her. She trusted her because beneath Vi’s tough exterior Caitlyn could see her pain. Since that moment all Caitlyn has wanted to do is soothe Vi’s wounded heart. It’s why she didn’t shoot Jinx in the season 1 finale, it’s why she lets Vi stop her shooting Jinx in Ep3, and it’s why she doesn’t try to shoot Jinx now.

Caitlyn has been devastated by the loss of her mother at Jinx’s hands. It’s a pain she will never fully heal from, and in these moments Caitlyn has to decide if she wants to be responsible for adding to Vi’s pain. Can she kill Vi’s sister? Can she cause more suffering to the woman she loves? More than she already has? The answer is a resounding no.

Because despite everything, Caitlyn is a good person with a good heart. She was just swept away and lost in her grief. But now she’s anchored again thanks to Vi. She may never forgive Jinx, she may always hate her for what she did but she will always love Vi more.

We see Caitlyn protecting Vi during the fight, and we even see her letting Vi go in order to save Jinx when she gallantly rushes in to try and save Isha.

By the end of Act 2 we stop seeing Commander Caitlyn Kiramman here and simply see Cait again. She’s definitely more bruised and hardened by her trauma and experiences but she’s there, fighting her way back to the surface.

This takes us into Act 3 and Caitlyn’s reconciliation with her true self and her steps towards atonement.

Act 3:

Ep 8 -

This episode starts with an unconscious Vi awakening after her near death experience in ep6. Loris is there when she wakes and he tries to calm her down by answering her burning questions about the locations of Jinx and Cait.

Let’s just take a second to note that Vi isn’t just anywhere in Piltover, oh no, she’s tucked safely in Caitlyn’s bed in the Kiramman house. And Loris openly tells her that Caitlyn rounded up a squad of doctors to patch her back together. There’s a bunch of pillows piled on the side next to Vi - did Caitlyn watch over her while she healed? The show doesn’t explicitly state it, but Loris implies that Caitlyn wanted to be there when Vi woke, suggesting that Caitlyn hasn’t left her side often, and the reason for her absence must be important.

We get to see why Caitlyn isn’t at Vi’s side when she wakes just seconds later. Caitlyn is with Maddie, contemplating Ambessa’s inevitable attack on Piltover. She knows it’s coming, especially now that Ambessa knows of her betrayal. Considering Caitlyn has been the commander of the invasion into Zaun for months at this point, here we see her approach to be a little more cautious. No longer is she so warped by Ambessa’s reckless ways, or her hate fuelled mission for revenge against Jinx, now Caitlyn is trying to find her feet as commander in her own way; listening to her own morals and trying to make the right choices. Caitlyn knows there won’t be any negotiations with Ambessa thanks to her betrayal, and so careful, clever strategy is what she’s going to need to come up with, and fast, if she’s to save Piltover.

Maddie tries to offer comfort but Caitlyn straight up rejects her. Why? Because there was never any true affection between them. Maddie was just a distraction, a warm body to keep Caitlyn’s focus away from Vi and stuck in the darkness she was drowning in. But now that Vi's back in her orbit, Caitlyn is even less interested in Maddie, and the second Vi storms in demanding answers about Jinx, Caitlyn dismisses Maddie without a second thought.

Here we see some of the tension between Caitlyn and Vi boil to the surface. Their reunion in the previous episode was quick, it was based on innate trust and convenience, but there was no time for a proper resolution to the issues between them. Vi demands answers for why Jinx is locked away, accusing Caitlyn of still being on her blinding revenge quest against Jinx. When Caitlyn’s initial attempt to calm Vi falls on deaf ears, she retorts with anger at Vi’s lack of trust in her to do the right thing.

‘Arrested?’

‘Vi…’

‘She saved your life.’

‘If you will just calm down for one—’

‘Even knowing you’d never have done the same for her.’

‘We’ll never know, will we? You didn’t let me in on that part of your plan.’

‘Clearly the right call, since you can’t trust her enough not to shove her in a box.’

‘Trust? You believe I’m so daft I can’t recognise a contingency? She wasn’t there for my benefit. You didn’t trust me to follow through.’

‘Can you blame me? How long were you sidled up with that shifty, self-serving war pig? She oinked poison in your ear, and you just ate it!’

I think Vi’s defence here is fair, given that Vi not only witnessed Caitlyn’s hatred for Jinx morph into an obsession, but that she also got a taste of Caitlyn’s spiral into darkness herself when Caitlyn was cruel to her in ep3. She was in Zaun the entire time Caitlyn was enforcing Ambessa’s martial law too. Vi has seen the violence and the damage done at Caitlyn’s hands with her own eyes. So it’s not a surprise that Vi didn’t trust her fully when they reunited in ep6. Caitlyn has been under Ambessa’s thumb for far too long for Vi to assess just how much lasting damage has been done to Caitlyn in ep6.

When Vi confronts Caitlyn with this harsh reality, Caitlyn cracks in shame and anger - ‘I know!’

Caitlyn can see what she’s done, what she’s become, and she takes accountability for it with this simple acknowledgement. She’s not a words girl, we know she’s more emotionally repressed when it comes to expressing herself that way, but as she sinks back onto the arm of the couch we can physically see her deflation. Caitlyn is very much aware of her mistakes. She knows she’s had her grief manipulated and that to an extent, because of her hatred of Jinx, she let it happen. It has cost Caitlyn greatly, and we see how fragile her relationship with Vi is now as a result.

But the best thing about this much needed heated exchange is that Caitlyn gets to show Vi that she’s not completely lost to her, that she has managed to start pulling herself out of her darkness.

‘The only thing Jinx cared about was getting you to safety. Then she just surrendered. I didn’t even have time to think before they hailed her off. She’s being held in the bunker while I decide what to do. I was waiting for you to recover.’

Why did Caitlyn wait?

Well she unfairly pushed the enforcer badge on to Vi back in episode 1 because she selfishly needed reassurance and loyalty during her spiraling grief. She forced Vi to choose between her and Jinx when deep down Cait knew that would be an impossible thing for Vi to do.

Caitlyn waiting for Vi to recover before any decision is made about what happens to Jinx proves that Cait wants to atone. It shows Vi where she’s at, and Vi recognises the gesture immediately. There’s her Cait. It’s not commander Kiramman sitting before her, but the woman she was falling for back before Jinx’s attack at the end of season 1.

It gives Vi all she needs to fight for her family; for Jinx and for Cait.

‘Cait, she’s changed.’

Vi wants Cait to understand what she’s been going through, what she’s witnessed in regards to Jinx and Isha and the bridges they were beginning to build. But even though Cait hears this - Jinx saved her when she easily could have let Rictus kill her - she can’t quite accept it. Not because she doesn’t necessarily believe Vi but because how can anybody accept the unspeakable violence and acts that Jinx has done? That Caitlyn has done? In Caitlyn’s mind they’re inescapable and unforgivable.

‘We can’t erase our mistakes. None of us.’

But Vi is the voice of reason and immediately challenges her response with this soul searching question - ‘who decides who gets a second chance?’

The conflicting expressions that flicker across Caitlyn’s face as Vi leaves her at the end of this scene shows how carefully and heavily this question sits in Cait’s chest.

Who does get to decide who deserves a second chance? Is it the responsibility of someone else to decide if you’re worthy? Or is it up to you to free yourself from the burdens of your mistakes?

It’s a set of questions that Caitlyn takes with her when she visits Jinx in her cell.

We start by seeing Caitlyn taking Jinx a tray of food, a sign of her good heart and the extension of a tentative olive branch before they get into having their first ever, real conversation.

‘Vi thinks that you’ve changed.’

‘She can’t accept what you and I know. There are no happy endings.’

Jinx’s response to Caitlyn’s statement immediately brings us back to Vi’s question for Caitlyn - ‘who decides who gets a second chance?’

Jinx is just as closed off to the idea as Caitlyn (‘We can’t erase our mistakes. None of us.’) and that immediately triggers Caitlyn. Because if they’re right, if they don’t deserve second chances, what’s left of them both?

Caitlyn wants accountability; from Jinx, from herself, and so she presses further:

‘Is that all you have to say for yourself? There won’t be a trial. I’m giving you this one chance to account for your actions, all the pain you’ve caused.’

But Jinx continues to look defeated and doesn’t react, showing a shell of the person Caitlyn knew her to be - the Jinx that Caitlyn despised. Caitlyn grows frustrated and bangs her fist into the cell bars.

‘No amount of good deeds can undo our crimes.’

Here Caitlyn takes accountability by saying ‘our crimes’, she knows they’ve both caused pain, but even that doesn’t get a reaction. Jinx is empty; empty of anger, of hate, of taunts. All the time she’s spent being vengeful hasn’t made her feel better, or changed anything that’s happened, it’s just left her utterly exhausted. There’s no fight left in her and she admits as much to Caitlyn:

‘Do what you came here to do.’

Caitlyn’s lingering anger disappears instantly as she recognises Jinx’s predicament as her own. The cost of their hatred, of their vengeance hasn’t been worth it. It’s cost them both exponentially. They’re both shells of who they were, who they should be.

‘Hating you… I’ve hated myself. I just don’t have the energy for it any longer.’

Caitlyn starts to walk away but before she gets far Jinx gives her the accountability that Caitlyn needs to hear from Jinx in order to free herself of her self hatred:

‘I didn’t know your mom was there. It probably wouldn’t have made a difference, but… I didn’t know.’

It’s not a sorry. These two will never say sorry to each other. They will never like each other. But this is the moment Caitlyn lets go of her hatred, of her need for justice. Jinx’s confession releases Caitlyn from the burden of her guilt over her mother’s death and breaks their cycle of violence.

In return, we see Caitlyn answer Vi’s question. She doesn’t say sorry, or beg for forgiveness, she acts. She orders all the guards to the Hexgates, leaving Jinx unguarded, and in doing so grants Jinx her second chance. She does it not only for herself and for Jinx, but for Vi.

Caitlyn knows Vi will free Jinx because Vi loves unconditionally. She fights for those she loves and she can’t give up on Jinx because they’re family and Vi feels responsible for her. It’s the essence of who Vi is.

It’s something Caitlyn has come to understand from her grief because she too couldn’t let go; of her mother, of her guilt, of her hatred. It’s because of love that she became the commander and made the mistakes she did, and it’s because of love that Vi will do what she needs to save her sister. But most importantly it's because of love that Caitlyn is willing to let Vi save Jinx, even if that means letting Vi go. Cait’s giving Vi the freedom to make her own choice despite knowing it could cost her what she wants. And what Caitlyn wants more than anything is Vi.

Caitlyn’s atonement for her sins begins in that one beautiful, selfless act of letting go.

When we next see Caitlyn she is freeing Vi from the cell that Jinx locked her in. Vi is punishing herself for what she thinks is her having made the wrong choice again. She really thought Jinx would help, but she didn’t, she left Vi, and now Vi’s worried that by betraying Cait to free Jinx, she’s lost Caitlyn too.

‘Did you really think I needed all the guards at the Hexgates? Sorry to say, you’ve grown a bit predictable.’

We already know that Cait set Jinx’s escape up for Vi. That she prioritized her love for Vi over her hatred for Jinx, and in the one confession, Vi now knows it too. Caitlyn acted for her. Caitlyn sees Vi and accepts her fully.

We’ve already established that Caitlyn knew Vi would try to save her sister, but what we didn’t know for certain, and what Caitlyn most definitely didn’t know for certain, is would Vi still be there and would Vi still want her?

Here we get Vi’s answer when Vi finally takes what she wants and kisses Cait.

Caitlyn can’t quite believe it, but when Vi just keeps on kissing her, it clicks for Cait that Vi does want her just as much as she wants Vi.

I adore the use of lighting in this scene, and I’ve seen a few wonderful posts analysing this in detail, so I won’t overstep. But i just wanted to note how clever it is to see Vi pull Cait out of darkness and back into the light. And while we’re talking about the light I will quickly add on a bit about Maddie. Vi couldn’t give two fucks about her. She didn’t when she met her, she didn’t when she saw her in Cait’s house, and she doesn’t give a fuck if she was in Cait’s bed. Vi knows Cait lost herself, and Maddie was simply something for Cait to lose herself in, as much as fighting and alcohol was for Vi. All that matters is now, and what matters now is her and Cait.

I could talk about their sex scene beat by beat but I think the fandom has analysed it to death beautifully already. What I will say is we see the culmination of both their arcs here. Vi, at Jinx’s behest, finally lets herself be happy and what makes her happy is Caitlyn. And Caitlyn uses every touch to apologise, to show her love and regret to Vi. She gives up the control that has kept her blindly focused on her revenge and hatred. Cait gives herself over completely to Vi’s love and redeems her soul by doing so. It’s beautiful to see Vi finally take what she wants.

The culmination of this episode is heartwarming. We see Cait giving Jinx a second chance, Jinx then in turn gives Vi a second chance by setting her free from the burden of their tormented past, and Vi returns that grace by granting Cait a second chance from her mistakes.

The three of them break the cycle together.

—-

Ep 9 -

A lot happens in this final episode but I’m strictly going to try and focus on Caitlyn and Vi before this analysis grows any longer.

Piltover is preparing for Ambessa’s and Viktor’s attack. We see Caitlyn and Vi in the council bunker with Jayce and Mel. Here Jayce tells Caitlyn, Vi and Mel that he needs them to take the enforcers and buy him as much time against Ambessa’s forces while he shuts down the Hexgates.

When Jayce says this is a fight they’re supposed to lose, Vi’s fist visibly clenches. She doesn’t like losing fights, and definitely doesn’t want to lose this one now that she’s finally letting herself be happy, but you can tell Vi is tired. She’s been fucking through it emotionally and physically these past 2 seasons and Cait catches her anxiety instantly. It’s only a fleeting moment, but we see Cait cover Vi’s hand and squeeze in support and encouragement. Vi doesn’t have to fight alone anymore. They can fight together.

Here we see Caitlyn embodying her role as the commander she was always meant to be when she says they can stop Viktor, and determidly shoves his little model down. I love seeing her so strong and resolved here. She’s got far too much to fight for and to put right to admit defeat so easily.

While Vi is off with her batch of enforcers leading a charge from one of the towers, Caitlyn is down in the front line with her own squad fighting back the Noxian forces who have Ambessa leading the charge.

We see Caitlyn with her trusty rifle and Maddie as her spotter fighting hard, but can only watch in horror as a shimmer fuelled army seems to be relentlessly coming for them. Commander Caitlyn kicks in and keeps her team going even when it seems like they might be losing. She fights with everything she has to put their plan into action, knowing that she has mistakes to atone for.

But something goes wrong and before she knows what’s happening, Caitlyn takes a massive hit to the back of the head. It winds her and leaves her struggling to get up, and when she does it’s to see that her enforcers have been captured by the Noxian troops, and Ambessa is marching straight towards her.

When she glances back to see who has a rifle aimed at the back of her head, Caitlyn comes face to face with Maddie. It’s here that we get the reveal that Maddie is a Noxian spy and has been working for Ambessa the entire time. It’s another mistake for Caitlyn, a failing of her judgment, once again made during her grief and manipulated by Ambessa perfectly.

‘I warned you of the hazards of professional entanglement.’

Ambessa’s gloating is a horrible reminder of how fair Caitlyn let herself fall beneath Ambessa’s influence, and I think it’s this self awareness, this shame, that causes Caitlyn to take her chance. She never really had any true feelings for Maddie, Caitlyn was using her for distraction just as Maddie was using her for information, and now she has an opportunity to atone for her sins by ending this war if she can just get the shot on Ambessa.

Caitlyn smashes the rifle back into Maddie’s face as she grabs it from her and takes her aim at Ambessa. But of course Ambessa anticipates Caitlyn’s reckless attempt, she goaded her into it after all, and Caitlyn once again pays the price for her mistakes when Ambessa thwarts her attack and stab’s Caitlyn in the stomach instead.

When Caitlyn falls to her knees before Ambessa and her mocking ‘desperation is the doorway to oblivion, child’ you can see the sorrow on Cait’s face. In her eyes she has failed. She’s failed Piltover, she’s failed herself, and she’s failed Vi. Filled with regret, I imagine Cait’s life flashes before her eyes as Maddie loads the gun and takes the shot.

There’s the sound of the gun firing, a cracking of gold, and then the wet sound of blood. Maddie’s body slops weightless down against her back before slumping to the ground and Caitlyn is left with the stark realisation that she isn’t dead. Her second chance is truly a second chance.

Enter Mel, in all her glorious magical power. While she faces off with her mother, Jinx joins the battle in her outlandish way, and the symbolism of second choices being worth having comes full circle as the chaos of her arrival grants Piltover and Zaun another chance to fight back.

The enforcers break free during the chaos and continue to fight, and Viktor’s hive mind army starts rushing the Hexgate while Mel and Caitlyn face off with Ambessa.

This fight shows off Caitlyn’s redemption arc beautifully. With renewed strength Caitlyn is back on her feet and circling Ambessa as she exchanges heated words with Mel.

Fuck words though, Caitlyn is a woman made of action, and with determination thrumming through her veins, she punches Ambessa in the face, cutting off her self-serving tirade.

‘Shut up and fight.’

Caitlyn truly becomes the commander she was always meant to be when she challenges Ambessa here. She has a lot to prove, a lot to atone for and a lot left to fight for, and Caitlyn gives every bit of herself over to it, consequences be damned. She’s willing to give her life to save everyone, and if that’s not Caitlyn trying to be redeemed I don’t know what else she could do.

The fight sequence is incredible. Ambessa takes on her daughter duo skillfully. Ambessa is a tank of a woman, a fearless leader and a fierce fighter. But Caitlyn has grown and changed. She’s not the naive child Ambessa manipulated anymore, she’s a wise, hardened warrior with a good heart and an unwavering desire to make amends.

We see Caitlyn’s true, courageous strength in this scene as she uses Ambessa’s own Noxian teachings against her;

Caitlyn fights with all her might; she ignores the blade in her stomach and goes for Ambessa again and again, taking blow after blow but never quitting.

She fights with vision; her intuitiveness effectively analysing Ambessa’s movement, choices and weaknesses. She sees the runic band around her arm deflecting Mel’s attacks, and plans to use it against her.

She fights with guile; when Ambessa has her on her knees, a blade heading towards her eye, and Ambessa’s air of victory about her, Cait uses the blade in her stomach to make her move and slices the band from Ambessa’s arm.

But most importantly Caitlyn sacrifices.

In season 1 she trades her prized rifle, which is essentially an extension of who Caitlyn is at her very core, to get the medicine needed to save Vi. Here, in the fight against Ambessa, Caitlyn gives over even more. She gives her eye - an actual piece of herself - to try and save Piltover and Zaun. Cait is a marksman, her sight is imperative, and yet Caitlyn gives her eye freely. She doesn’t do it for forgiveness but because she needs to try and make amends and put things right. She does it because she was willing to pay the ultimate price of her sins.

Words mean a lot, but so do actions, and Cait is redeemed by hers in these final episodes, in my opinion at least.

After the battle is over and it appears they’ve won we don’t see Cait and Vi again until the very end but we do see Sevika taking a seat at the council. Cait has given her seat to Zaun. She took so much from them during her grief and hatred and now that she’s free from that, she gives them her seat so they can have a voice. Their own voice. I don’t personally see how Caitlyn could ever remain in the council when she was an oppressor to Zaun. She had to step back and give that up in order for the divide between Piltover and Zaun to continue to grow and heal. Her purpose in rebuilding will be found elsewhere.

With that said, we don’t know if Cait is still an enforcer or not, but we do see eye-patch Caitlyn back to her investigative ways. She’s pensively studying the Hexgates blueprint while twirling a piece of shrapnel between her fingers. It’s not just any piece of shrapnel though, it’s the head of one of Jinx’s monkey bombs. Caitlyn zooms in on the vents leading off the Hexgates, and it appears she’s pondering one question; could Jinx have survived and escaped?

The question is why is Caitlyn looking in the first place. Is she looking to simply help Vi with getting closure? Or is Cait looking because second chances and forgiveness become more healing with time? Is there a world where Caitlyn and Jinx can grow and heal enough to both be in Vi’s orbit without hurting her? It’s left open to interpretation. But it’s hopeful after all the pain the three of them have endured.

We see Vi looking emotionally and physically spent as she hums to herself. But she also looks calm and at peace. Humming, enjoying the fire, comfortably sitting like she’s at home in the Kiramman house. It’s heartwarming to see Vi looking safe; like she belongs.

Cait comes through from her investigating, and teases Vi slightly showing a domestic growth in their relationship. We don’t know how long it’s been but we can assume both cities are still in a state of rebuild and change.

Caitlyn is still a Kiramman however. She might not be a commander anymore but she still has a sense of duty and will always want to help, and she checks in with Vi to see if she’s still there with her. Because Vi doesn’t have to fight anymore if she doesn’t want to, and if she doesn’t, Caitlyn won’t ask her too.

‘Are you still in this fight, Violet?’

But the thing about Vi is no matter how emotionally and physically exhausted she is, or how beaten down, Vi will always get up. It’s just who Violet is at her core. Vi fights for what she loves, to protect and help them, and the person Vi loves more than anything is Caitlyn, so of course Vi is right there with her.

‘I am the dirt under your nails, cupcake. Nothing’s gonna clean me out.’

Together they will weep, and laugh, and love, and heal, and work to make things better. Together they will keep moving forwards, always.

——

With all that picked apart, I think Caitlyn is a well rounded, flawed character, and she’ll always be up there as one of my favourites now. We see her go through hell and back and come out the other side with a good heart. She’s not perfect… but just like Vi, I love her.

#arcane #caitlyn kiramman #caitvi #vi x caitlyn #vi arcane #jinx arcane #ambessa medarda

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shizucheese · 6 months ago

Text

An open letter to @samreich and @dropoutdottv

I am writing this letter in response to the statement you posted yesterday, as well as the response of some within your community in response to Jewish people speaking out about it.

I have always admired Dropout for the inclusive space that you had created for marginalized people. Yesterday you showed that I and my fellow Jewish fans are not included in that. Everything I have been able to find shows that this was prompted by Noah Grossman and Rachel Bloom having been on your network recently. From my own research, Noah Grossman has not made any statement about the war in Gaza. Multiple people have pointed this out. The closest I have been able to find as evidence that Rachel Bloom is a “Zionist” is that performed at a fundraiser for a hospital in Tel Aviv. There is no evidence that I could find to indicate that either of them support the actions of the Israeli government in Gaza. You yourselves said in your own statement that to your knowledge no one who has appeared on Dropout has openly identified as a Zionist." What this means is that people saw you had people on your network who were Jewish and had even the slightest connection to Israel, and decided to accuse them of being “Zionists” and you of Platforming them.

Multiple Jewish members of your community have spoken out, explaining to you far better than I could why your response was incredibly antisemitic. I am begging you to listen to those members of your community, and do better. You cannot foster a community or space that is safe for everyone, particularly marginalized people, if you are also fostering a space where antisemitism goes unchecked.

Related to all of this, I want to take a moment to discuss the meaning and history of the word “Zionist.” A member of your Discord community voiced their frustration over your statement and how the word “Zionism” is being used. I will link it here, because I think they and a few others made some very good points that I intend to expand on here: https://www.reddit.com/r/dropout/comments/1gjjver/antizionism_antisemitism_from_a_longtime_fan_of/

I am going to include the response from the subreddit mod here: “This seems to be a reasonable and nuanced take so I don't want to dismiss it out of hand, but since you're using different definitions you're either intentionally or unintentionally creating strawmen arguments that to my knowledge no one here is supporting. If they are, please report it and it will be handled.

I'm definitely not an expert on what the definition of Zionism is or should be, but it's clear that Dropout's statement is not using the same definition you are here, so focusing entirely on the semantics isn't relevant to the actual issues being discussed.”

I realize the moderators of the dropout subreddit are likely not directly affiliated with you, and I will not hold you personally responsible for the words and actions of someone who is likely a fan basically doing volunteer work within your fan community, but their words and actions and the rhetoric that can be found in the subreddit in response to this Jewish person speaking out are indicative of the attitude and treatment of Jewish people that lead to this whole situation in the first place, and the kind of culture that statements like the one you made yesterday cultivate.

There are several problems with the statement the reddit mod made, and the mindset behind it.

The first major one, as many people in the replies pointed out, is that people from outside of a community have no right to tell people from within that community what a their own terminology means. Coopting a word from a culture and then talking over them when people from that culture speak out against it is incredibly problematic. For the record, because I and I know many other Jewish people have experienced this within the past year, if not longer than that: people from outside a marginalized group do not get to tell people from within that group what is and isn’t offensive to their group, or speak over them and tell them that something that people from within that marginalized group say is offensive isn’t actually offensive.

We say that it is important to elevate marginalized voices and not speak over them, so why is it that I’ve seen so much of this when Jewish people try to speak up about their own lived experiences?

Surely there is a way to elevate Palestinian voices and listen to their struggles without silencing Jewish ones?

The second major problem here is that the word “Zionist” has come to mean so many things to so many people that it is essentially meaningless. There is a reason I have largely put the word “Zionism” in quotes this entire time. As such, it is an incredibly bad faith argument to make to accuse a Jewish person speaking out about the use of the word “Zionism” and claim that “it is clear that Dropout’s statement is not using the same Definition as you are” and dismissing it as “semantics.” Especially when the definition of “Zionism” and the fact that it has been coopted by non-Jewish people to mean something different is so central to the conversation at hand?

For some people, “Zionism” is the belief that Jews have a right to self-determination and that Israel has a right to exist. For them, “Zionism” is a wide umbrella term that covers people from those who support a One State solution in favor of Israel and should rightfully be called out for it, to people who support a Two State solution and condemn what is happening in Gaza right now. This is the Jewish definition of the word, and the one that the OP of that subreddit post was using.

For others, “Zionist” means someone who uncritically supports what Israel is doing right now.

For others, “Zionist” means “Jew.” There is a long history of the word “Zionist,” being used by antisemites, and antisemites calling themselves “antizionist” when they are either trying to justify their bigotry or mask it to make it seem more palatable.

If you can take a statement an “antizionist” has made and replace the word “Zionist” with “Jew,” and they suddenly sound like they would have been right at home in WWII Germany, they are that third one and anything they say should be taken with far more criticism.

People who fall under the first and second definitions of "Zionist" also can be described as "Pro-Israel," and bad faith actors often interchangeably accuse Jewish people of being "Zionist" or "Pro-Israel" under the second definition when the reality is those people fall under the first definition and are disgusted by the actions of the Israeli government in Gaza.

So, here’s the problem: based on the complete lack of evidence that either Noah Grossman or Rachel Bloom are “Zionist” by the second definition stated here, it’s hard not to think that the people accusing Dropout of “platforming Zionists” are antisemites dressing up their antisemitism in progressive rhetoric and calling it "antizionism." They saw two Jewish people who had either stayed silent since the war started, or had at “worst” were involved with a fundraiser for a hospital, and labeled them “Zionists,” even though the actual views of both of these people are not actually known.

Your platform and two people who had appeared on it were subjected to an antisemitic campaign involving a threat of boycott, and your response was “to our knowledge, no individual who has appeared on Dropout has openly identified as a Zionist,” and then several paragraphs about the Palestinian people without even a hint of condemnation for the antisemitism at work here. Not even a single acknowledgement that being Jewish doesn’t automatically mean that someone is a “Zionist” by the second definition.

Also, like…the mod on your subreddit claimed it was “clear” which definition of “Zionist” was used in your statement, by which I assume they meant the second definition I provided. But I have personally been accused of being a “Zionist” for being in support of a two state solution, and I know for a fact—because I’ve seen it—that other Jewish people with the same beliefs have experienced this as well. Also there are people in the reblogs and tags of your Tumblr post claiming there are “Zionists in the reblogs” and “Zionists in the tags” when the closest thing I can find to “Zionism” is Jewish people calling out the antisemitism in the statement and the situation, and pointing out that the UNRWA, which you linked to in your post, has connections to Hamas, including members of their organization having been found to have been involved in the attacks on 10/7.

So no, “the definition of Zionism” is not clear here.

While we’re on the topic of Hamas, gentle reminder that Hamas was founded by people who wanted to cause a second Holocaust, their charter explicitly called for the hunting down of and murder of Jewish people as recently as 2017, (I will not link to it here, because there is a history of people getting penalized on social media for speaking out against hate speech by quoting it as if they were spreading that hate speech themselves, but it is easy enough to verify), and they still openly deny the Holocaust happened. To support, financially or otherwise, Hamas in any way is in fact to support Genocide.

When people came forward to express their disappointment in a derogatory word having been used in Breaking News and your Chris Grace special, you listened to them and made a statement addressing the issue and promising to do better. I am now asking for you to do the same for your Jewish fans: listen to what we are saying. Address it. Do better.

Also, before anyone tries to say “how can you say Dropout is Antisemitic when Sam Reich is Jewish?: --something I’ve already seen people do in the reblogs and tags of Dropout’s post and elsewhere—please do not use a Jewish person as a tool to silence other Jewish people. My one-year subscription to Dropout ends at the end of this month. If this has not been addressed by November 30, 2024, I will not be renewing my subscription and will be boycotting Dropout going forward. I urge anyone else who is disgusted by the antisemitism and silencing of Jewish voices on display here to do the same.

Thank you.

#dropout #dropout tv #sam reich #antisemitism #jumblr #jewish tumblr

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theyluvlyss · 8 months ago

Note

Can I request if you can Hcs of all the ghost boys + Finney being in love ? ( Feel free to not add Finney since you wrote something similar before )

Xoxo 💋

𝐨𝐟𝐜 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧😌...

it's what I'm here for🫡♡. I really like the idea of writing about them being in love/having a crush rather than being with reader right off the bat !! very cool and unique idea (imo), and it definitely harbors that little difference in feelings/slight nuances that I'm very happy to expand on !

although it took me a bit, I've actually gotten most of the boys done already, and that's around when I gained the bright idea to just ... instead of making you wait, I remembered there's this thing called free-will, and I can quite literally post whatever and whenever I want lol😆 ...

meaning I can just post each boy for you one at a time as I finish them instead of waiting until they're all done and then making one long post :D !

on that note, here's finney's hehe...

𝐄𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬

《 ♡ 》 headcannons

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 :

while it's always fun to imagine (haha, get it💀) what it'd be like for him to be your best friend or your boyfriend, there's times when you yearn for that tension. that something in between that's more than a platonic relationship, but just short of being a lover. and I'm here to revive that feeling of what it'd be like for finney blake to have a crush on you...

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 :

fem!reader x finney blake - she/her/hers pronouns!

𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞 :

70s-80s - the grabber doesn't exist

𝐓𝐖/𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 :

cursing, as usual - small mentions of anxiety/nerves - finney being super cute lol - overall super duper fluffy and pretty much everything the prompt describes lmao.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

───────── 《 .°•♡•°. 》 ──────────

I know you said I didn't have to do him since I already have, but *adds that mf in anyway because he deserves round two of some lovins😆🫧💙🪩*.

Finney liking somebody/finding someone attractive is usually a dead-end deal. He keeps it to himself - buried deep down within the depths of his gentle soul, never to breach the light of day, because he knows good and well that even if it did arise, all it would lead to is rejection and - if he's extra unlucky - a teasing+beat-down combo attack from some known bullies of his (should they find out or be witness to these nonexistent attempts of confession).

A little depressing, I know, but bffr ... if you were Finney, would you do anything different🤨?

Althoughhhh....

Him having a crush on you, specifically, is very,,, confusing. Think of when you have a crush in real life, but you actually have a little bit more of a chance with them than usual. It's realistic. There's a sliver of hope. A light down in the depths of that depressing darkness.

It's like that.

And dare I say, he's fairly obvious about his liking towards you, but only if you're paying close attention.

If you're in a totally different clique, especially a popular one, just kind of in your own little bubble (which might as well be a whole new world to him), then the chances of you noticing/realizing his infatuation with you is very slim. Even in Finney's own case, he'd view you way out of his league, no chance whatsoever, so don't expect him to make any moves of any kind.

And on top of that (as I mentioned first thing), he'd do his damn best to not let ANYONE find out, ESPECIALLY Robin, Gwen, or Bruce, because the last thing he wants is for them to get overconfident on his behalf and try to set y'all up. What if you reject him?

Or worse, what if you end up liking Robin or Bruce instead of him? He wouldn't be able to take it. And lord knows he keeps his crush hidden from his bullies for highly good reasons. An even worse scenario in his mind than the last one is if they publicly teased him (or the both of you) about it, made a mockery of his feelings for you to witness and either join in or pity him - neither an outcome his ego and self-esteem were built to handle.

Now, the opposite - actually knowing him and/or being his friend - the case would probably still remain the same with only slight differences. He'd still find you out of his league, probably wouldn't make any bold moves. But, being his friend, closer to you, a little more comfortable around you, there may be times where he'd make the SLIGHTEST of nods to MAYBE, POSSIBLY liking you in a romantic fashion. JUST A LITTLE BIT.

BUT, he'd also be so worried and absorbed in his own head about all the different little things - am I impressing her? am I making her uncomfy? Does she already know? Does she not know and thinks I'm weird? Did she already think I was weird before I did that thing? Did she even catch onto that thing I did? Is she ignoring it? Is she ignoring me? Oh my god, she fucking hates me - that he lowkey wouldn't even consider the fact that you've been making more obvious moves on him this whole time.

He would probably end up liking you because of something you said or did. Like, depending on the situation, you said/did something that really resonated with him, or he found himself thinking about a lot. Which would then lead to him thinking about you a lot, and it's a spiral from there. Or, if already friends, it's probably something you did/said that had him now seeing you a new/different light, which, again, spirals from there.

Should anyone that's not you uncover the feelings he harbors, he's so the type to deny it. Gwen could be studying your behavior and body language up and down, and then report back to Finney with WRITTEN, PICTURE, PHYSICAL FUCKING EVIDENCE of you liking him/reciprocating the crush, and Finney would just be like, "...Nahhhh, you're just delusional, she wouldn't even notice if I disappeared the next day." And Gwen would just be like, "This bitch here😐..."

Either way tho, what I meant way earlier by "confusing" is that his version of (just barely) letting you know he likes you romantically is him just being,,, himself/friendly but a little bit more than usual LMFAO. Like, if y'all are friends and he always walked you to and from school, what he would do to further insinuate that he 💙likes💙 you is to just,,, walk you everywhere else🥴💀. Essentially be your moral support wherever you go lmfao.

Or like, besides doing stuff he really doesn't need to do that confuses you, he'd do things that kinda give the OPPOSITE of, "I'm literally in love with you." Avoid/not talk to you, avoid eye contact, stuff that just leaves you like, "...I don't think he wants to be my friend anymore🥲💔." LIKE BOY-!😭

But it's not intentional. It's just his nerves and doubts getting the better of him, y'know? Overthinkin, which leads to overreacting, etcetc., you know how it goes/what that's like lol.

So yeah, basic point, if the feelings aren't already made VERY CLEAR from the jump, don't expect things to get any clearer😻.

BUT, if after a while should he either gain a little more confidence (prolly from Robin) or you grow a pair and make the first bold move yourself (which would confirm it for him to be more comfy getting bolder himself as well), I feel like he'd still remain a little shy and mildly confusing, but very berry cute nonetheless.

I'm telling you, he'd put those crafting skills to work, hon👏🏽!! Just any chance he gets/has to either make you something or just impress you with something he's made, he's putting 1000% percent into it. I'm talking he's going broke, losing sleep, practicing what he's gonna say and how he says it - it's all going into whatever little (or big??) craft he knows you're going to see/he's gifting to you.

He'd also compliment you a lot, along with being more himself, which HELLO, he's so silly when he wants to be. I feel like he'd have you laughing a lot without exactly meaning/trying to, but HE'D FS CHERISH THAT like,,, every time he'd make you laugh, he'd just feel like he was on cloud nine - 'I made her laugh, I did that, me, she thinks I'm funny, she likes me, she's literally in love with me like I am her, otherwise she wouldn't be laughing so hard-'

...😃...Yeah, he takes what he can get and RUNS with it (which is why I think he'd love and is in need of lots of reassuring, plz take care of my baby😭🙏🏽).

On the topic of such, actually, it's kinda funny because it doesn't really affect his envy levels.

I don't think he'd get all that jealous if he saw you with other ppl; it would just be the thing of like,,, "That's what I get for getting my hopes up."/"It could be worse ngl." lmao which is sad on one hand but kind of mature on the other, yk?

Mature that'd he'd just leave it alone, not be pushy. But sad because wdym you think you're not worthy of some love/what you want out of life :( ? Luckily for him, though, I don't think he's able to hide disappointment/sadness very well.

Not that he's going around telling people, but he's just one of those "face/tone of voice says it all" kind of guys. So, depending on your thought process and if you can put two and two together, you're quick to squash any doubts of you being interested in someone else romantically.

"I'm not really into *state another persons features lol idk*. Not my type of guy..." which may or may not be you trying to guide him into asking your type, and he may or may not take the bait🤭.

No, but seriously, he literally may or may not catch on. There's definitely been a few times where he's missed the social cue, and on the inside, you're just like "😔🙄..."

He gets SUPPPPER flattered if/when you get jealous, tho. Like, I'd imagine it's a pretty rare occurrence (surprisingly to you, don't nobody be hitting on Finney Blake, okay💀✋🏽), but when it does happen, you're very quick to make it known you're hardcore crushing and liked him first, even going as far as to make it appear as if he's already taken.

You're hanging off of his arm more than usual or playing with his hand to keep him from fidgeting, you're staring at him with such a strong look of love-sickness in your eyes that might even cause the other girl to throw up, and should she even get as far as asking him out...? Oh boy...

"Actually, Finn, we were gonna hang out today, weren't we? I wanted to help you paint that rocket you're working on, I have the perfect colors in mind already...!"

"You...You do?"

"Yes, I do😃😐."

And the other girl just has to be like, "...I'll um,,,, Nevermind, Finney, I'll see you around."

"Maybe...!" You'll call after her cheekily, smile growing wider and wider as she trails away with Finney yet to even process the entire interaction at all. And while he might not catch on right away, the second he does, he's BEET red💀😭.

He doesn't know whether to admit he's smitten by your hostility or to let you know you don't have to be😭✋🏽. And more often than not, he'll opt for saying nothing at all, smiling to himself all shy while you're back to normal, talking as if you hadn't thwarted off a foe.

Confessing... That's not fucking happening, ever at all💀. And if he did, it would be on his death bed (I'm joking). But srsly, if he can avoid it for as long as possible, he will. The type to tell you on the last day of school, I'm talking GRADUATION DAY, right as one of y'all are leaving FOREVER, on some "I've always liked you..." type shit, and you would just have to be like, "WHYDIDYOUWAITSOLONGWHATTHEFUCK😭💔💔‼️‼️" Which is why I think it'd truly be up to you to confess (hopefully) way sooner😭💀✋🏽.

And if/when you did, he'd probably forget how to,,, exist lmao. Like, one of those moments where the information has to process in his head so he's just standing there looking at you like, "🧍🏻‍♂️:0" for a second before he's like, "o-OH!...I...I like you, too! And I have for- I mean... Like, it's been long. A long time. I've liked you a long time :D."

YOU KNOW WHAT?? If he felt he, himself, absolutely had to confess, he'd write you something. He's not Shakespeare or anything, but it would be much easier and less nerve-wracking for him to just write it all down. He'd hand it to you in person, apologize for the length of the letter that YOU HAVEN'T EVEN OPENED YET😭, and then practically teleport from the scene because he doesn't even wanna stay for your reaction. The fear of rejection is genuinely too much for him.

He'd be better off never hearing from you again if you didn't like him back rather than have you tell him to his face. ALSO, he'd give it to you in private. Wouldn't want to put you or himself on the spot, nor would he want to risk somebody catching him or you with the paper that has him pouring his heart out to you on it.

But, of course (because why else would you be reading this if you weren't expecting The Good Ending™), you're confused while opening and reading it until those feelings gradually begin to swell into a mixture of flatter, adoration, and just flat out love because not only had he FINALLY confessed to you...

But you had found it to be written quite beautifully, and it was overall the cutest thing that had ever happened to you, so now you have to return the favor - scribbling your response in some colorful pen color on the back of his own confession note, doodled with hearts and squiggly lines and all of that nonsense, leaving it in his locker - and letting the events take off from there.

Letting the relationship blossom from there🫧🥹🪩💙✨️.

𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 !!

ik I say this literally every time I post something, but I really loved writing this, and it's because I LOVE WRITING; I love doing this shit, idcidc✋🏽😭✋🏽. if I could make a living off of this, I would, and I love seeing your guys' requests every day and reading through them over and over again.

and guys, let me tell ya', there isn't a better feeling in the world than completing and posting one, because whew...!! it's like having an endless supply of inspiration fr, I love it.

anyways, robin's will be posted soon after this one, so be on the lookout🫡😼 !!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ...𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 :

@in3rci4

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 :

2,103 words

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 :

none :(

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sometimesoliloquy · 1 month ago

Text

Going to try to keep my initial thoughts (somewhat) brief within this structure (spoiler, I may have failed).

My thorn from the first three episodes of s6… definitely (mom)Holly ACTUALLY calling Nick a Nazi 😭 as unlikely as we all thought this reunion would actually be I think a lot of us have maybe played out this scenario in our fondest fanfic minds complete with Nick revelation and we did not exactly picture it playing out like an antagonistic Reddit thread… In hindsight in the perspective of purely what we know on the show her reaction should really not be that surprising. But man it still stings like a slap in the face to hear this kind of unnuanced rhetoric voiced out loud by a long lost loved one whom June trusts. And obviously stung June too, not to mention having her judgement called into question. ESPECIALLY after having her choices being called into question by her mom her whole life and then finally now having her mom call her tough and strong and a survivor, only to then essentially say she’s a collaborator/ being manipulated by the man she loves, father of her baby. But I will say her reaction is also somewhat mitigated for me by the way Moira reacts to Nick in the next episode, as the quintessential feminist activist mentee of Holly and knows firsthand many of the horrors of Gilead, and also ostensibly knows so much more of the detail and nuance of the relationship from June directly).

My rose(s)… a three way tie between

(a) June reuniting with her Mom (yeah I was sobbing as soon as I saw the shoes and then the stethoscope). Her meeting Nichole/bb Holly and declaring her a genius. Yes, even with her having some problematic views responsible for my thorn (every rose, as they say…) What can I say, it's complicated.

(b) osblaine spy club quality time—listen I hate that Nick is putting himself in danger here but I love that they’re together, I love that he still can’t help it with June and I love that he’s finally EXPRESSING that to her and voicing his thoughts and frustrations about her and him and Luke and June is expressing back. And yeah I’m really not concerned that she said “loved” at first just like I’m not ultimately concerned he speaks of her “choosing” Luke when that was a default all along not really a choice (“he waited" is a declaration of eternal burning love?? No, it’s guilt and relationship by default.) Really they’re both in consolation relationships by default, ok his may be a bit more state-mandated while hers has historical precedent pressure. Regardless , clearly there are these external issues that are a real factor right now in them BEING TOGETHER but not in them LOVING EACH OTHER) and I really hope at some point they get to hash that out further because at some point maybe there may not be so many external obstacles(????) And I love that June called out their eternal “be happy”/“have a good life” goodbyes as if they won’t continually be drawn back together like freaking magnets. It’s inevitable, and I don’t care what they’re trying to sell us with this scary future “betrayal” shtick: it’s another “Swiss meeting”: Nick is not Fred and he never will be. I can’t fathom a world in which after everything coming before and then Nick risking it all this episode and then they give us this “it’s never over" scene then have him go and do June so dirty that there’s no going back? Makes no sense. Not happening. Not in my world. Bye.

(c) I guess this is partially covered in b but 👋HI NICK SPEAKING UP FOR YOURSELF👏; with Lawrence and with Mark as well as with his feelings to June. I think we may have heard more words and more importantly more opinions out of this man’s mouth in the first 3 episodes of s6 than in the last 5 seasons combined. I’m not kidding. It’s glorious and I’m here for it. I’m still definitely worried about daddy in law’s continued influence, as Nick seems to start out as wary as he ever is, but we’ve heard and now get a taste of how charismatic and gently manipulative C. Wharton can be. Mix that with actual threats and it could be a very powerful weapon. I pray Nick doesn’t lose his voice and become yes man fodder for daddy in law dearest. But absolutely loving hearing him be more vocal, standing up and giving sass. Yes, king, slay (are the kids still saying that?) More of this please.

#tht s6 spoilers #tht 6x01 #tht 6x02 #tht 6x03 #osblaine #nick blaine #nick x june

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windvexer · 4 months ago

Note

do you happen to know any good sources of tarot card meanings quizzes like for studying them? i feel like at this point i might have to try making one myself ;~; or maybe try making physical note flash cards or something

when i go to write the meanings down i never get far and i do want to continue that way but also a good quiz could be so helpful too, i think ;;

I've never heard of something like this, does anyone on the dash know of something?

But I can speak from a couple different angles, the first of which is that it's unnecessary to memorize tarot card readings, and I personally do not believe it is a reasonable undertaking.

The problem here is that if you want to memorize tarot cards, the first question is "for what deck"? Because the meanings of tarot decks aren't interchangeable. So we all know that RWS isn't interchangeable with Thoth for example, but even RWS clones aren't strictly interchangeable with each other.

The value of having different decks isn't just that the art is pretty. The meaning of a single card (say, 3/Cups) changes from deck to deck to deck. Different decks read differently, and a part of this is that the cards carry their own nuances or even completely different meanings.

Even professional readers reference notes and guidebooks during readings. The point of a reader is not to memorize cards, otherwise readers could be completely replaceable by random tarot card generator programs that bring up a paragraph definition of each card.

That all being said! If you want to pursue this for your own purposes, I would recommend focusing not on 156 card meanings (remember, a reversed card can carry a unique meaning of its own), but rather a study of the structures within tarot.

22 major arcana - the meanings of these may be easier to remember if you familiarize yourself with the 'Fool's Journey,' a modern (IIRC) telling of the major arcana as the fool's journey through 21 subsequent cards.

divided arcana - lay out your major arcana cards in a row 0 - 10, and then below them 11 - 21 so that the fool sits on top of justice and the wheel of fortune sits on top of the world. These two halves of the major arcana are said to reflect each other - the hanged man and the magician both fruit from the same vine. Contemplate this comparison to build the structure of the deck within your mind.

stacked pips - lay out all the pips ace through ten in rows, so that all the aces are in columns, all the twos are in columns, and so on. Every row and column is a current - all the sixes have something in common with each other, and all the wands have something in common with each other. Compare and contrast the number values and suites with each other.

#answered

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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 9 months ago

Text

Theodorus van Gogh

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

CW: Slightly suggestive. Roleplay

I was relaxing in Theo's room after visiting an art gallery.

Mitsuki: "That was such a lovely gallery. I found myself dreaming a little about opening my own gallery someday."

Theo: "So you'd be the boss, huh? I can't really picture that."

His teasing expression made me want to push back a little.

Mitsuki: "You don't have to say it like that. I've been learning under you, and I can do it if I try."

Theo: "Oh, really? If that's the case, why don't you give it a try right now?"

Theo: "I'll judge whether you can handle being in charge."

Mitsuki: "Fine, then you'll be my secretary, Theo."

I stared back at him with determination, thinking about what kind of boss I should play.

(I should be a bit assertive, someone who won't be intimidated by his attitude.)

With that in mind, I picked up a piece of paper from the desk, pretending it was a document, and quickly handed it to him.

Mitsuki: "Mr. Theodorus, it's a big deal that we gave the client the wrong materials."

As soon as I said that, his face twitched slightly.

(Oops, he's angry. Maybe he didn't like the idea of him making a mistake.)

(But he's the one who suggested this! I need to stay strong!)

I kept holding out the papers, and he reluctantly took them and then handed me another sheet.

Theo: "Mijn excuses, Miss President. Here's the correct one."

I nervously accepted it, and Theo suddenly slammed his hand against the wall behind me.

(………)

Even though he seemed upset, having his face so close made my heart race.

Seeing my reaction, Theo smirked.

Theo: "Ma'am, let me make it up to you."

Mitsuki: "H-How?"

I asked fearfully, and he placed the paper back on the table and loosened the tie around his neck.

Theo: "With this body of mine."

He whispered seductively in my ear as his hand slid into the gap of my blouse and traced over my skin.

Mitsuki: "You can fix your mistakes through your work."

Theo: "That's a given. But that's not enough for me."

As he softly kneaded my breasts and teased the sensitive tips, a wave of pleasure crashed over me, making me tremble and crumple the paper I was holding.

Gasping, I looked up at him, only to see a sadistic smile on his face.

Theo: "President. No, Mitsuki. From now on, you're my hondje. Understand?"

(………)

I shook my head, refusing to give in and not wanting to admit defeat.

Theo: "Heh? You still have the energy to resist, huh?"

Mitsuki: "Ah… nnn…"

He intensified his teasing on my breasts, pushing me to the edge and making it impossible to resist my desire.

Mitsuki: "Fine, I'll do whatever you say."

Theo: "Tch. Giving in so easily? You'll need more authority if you want your subordinates to follow you."

Mitsuki: "As long as I have you, that's all I need."

My body trembled from the aching heat as I confessed this, and his hand paused for a brief moment.

Theo: "Hmph. You're definitely someone worth tormenting with."

Mitsuki: "Nn..."

Even in his forceful touch, I could sense a hint of affection.

Drawn to that warmth, the heat within me grew, and my mind began to melt into sweet surrender.

Ikevamp Masterlist

#ikevamp translations #ikevamp jp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp theo #otome #cybird

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dykekarkat · 1 month ago

Note

your nuanced take on nicky is SO real especially the part where you pointed out that neil literally feels 1000x more violated by getting drugged (by his literally future life partner so clearly people grow and change !!!) than he does by getting kissed nonconsentually. obviously it makes him uncomfortable but he moves on because it’s like that wasn’t triggering for him it was just a bit gross. as long as that doesn’t happen we keep it pushing. on the other hand being forced into losing control and being unaware of his surroundings (the very thing that has kept him alive all these years) is a million times more triggering to someone like neil but everyone likes the sweep the harm from that under the rug. just because neil eventually understands why (disturbingly understanding guy tbh) doesn’t mean it didn’t affect him at the time. i think people kind of latch on to the fact that andrew drugged him but didn’t like do anything to him while he was vulnerable but that’s only bc neil got himself out of there. sure we know andrew would never sexually assault someone but who knows what he might have done if he had his way that night. i read this fic once where it’s neil’s 3rd or 4th year so his life is well established and then he gets in an accident and gets retrograde amnesia back to the night of the drugging and the fallout is crazy. bc all of the sudden he’s right back in that headspace of like if he distrusts one mf in the entire world it’s andrew. and for good reason! and also this is not andrew hate at all he’s my fucked up little guy but we do have to get real here ppl

okay responding under the cut yayyy i love talking about columbia its my favorite chapter in the first book. sorry for writing you a whole essay btw. also obligatory disclaimer that im not saying u have to like nicky / cant be uncomfortable with him and his actions / that sexual assault is okay / etc

i am once again. bringing up academic work. bcus i am in a crit sexualities class rn and its rlly interesting #mynerdinterests. i've actually already brought up gayle rubin's thinking sex when talking about andrew and jean's treatment in the fandom. and i WILL be doing it again bcus even tho the article is super controversial (and i definitely do not agree with everything rubin says) she gives us some really good vocab surrounding the innate beliefs / values that get drilled into us by american society. she brings up this idea called "the fallacy of the misplaced scale" which is basically that we give sex and sex acts an excess of significance, and that any sort of sexual sin is especially heinous or morally reprehensible.

this general idea is why i think people tend to feel fine with physical violations within media (for example neil getting drugged by andrew) but react more aggressively to any kind of sexual transgression (like nicky assaulting neil). both of these actions are Bad. andrew is taking away neil's ability to protect himself, drugging him against his will, and forcing him into an extremely vulnerable state. nicky is also giving neil drugs (on andrew's orders) with the addition of nonconsensually kissing him to do it. but people focus more heavily on that rather than andrew's actions bcus as you said "he didnt actually do anything" and bcus sexual acts are always elevated above others. i would argue this is also why you see people treat jean's trauma more seriously than kevin's. or why people will write neil getting sexually assaulted in the nest rather than just tortured for the extra angst. it adds an extra level of "seriousness" or "importance" to the violation that's occurred.

i also think one of the reasons people ignore the consequences around andrew drugging neil (or even nix it all together in their rewrites) is because andrew IS the love interest so we obviously get much closer and a much deeper look into his character and motivations than nicky. we also get neil's reactions to them which most people would probably consider abnormal, since he doesn't really care about the kissing and remains friendly with nicky p much immediately after (tho he DOES get rlly uncomfortable about the bed sharing. which i personally think is worse than the kissing by nicky) but he does hate andrew and heavily distrust him post drugging ("dont sleep ill kill you", checking the glass when he goes to eden's next). like even when he's like "wow andrew could hold my truth without flinching yada yada" he's still lowkey hating him for it, before it becomes water under the bridge due to neil's ability to let things go (this is a hashtag certified mary hatfordism. its definitely bcus of his time on the run). anyway wow i just wrote you a bonafide essay. sorry this got off track but i love complex relationships and emotions and sexual situations. and also i love andrew nicky and neil literally my top 3 aftg characters. anyway im saying all this in good faith hope you enjoy anon.

#asks #no main tags im too afraid of misinterpretation #also im having the weirdest migraine experience rn #lots of nausea bad eye stuff and fire smells...but very little head pain...not my normal

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bengiyo · 9 months ago

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Thoughts on Office Relationships, Breakups, Outings, and More in August ‘24 Shows

I couldn’t bring myself to finish Cosmetic Playlover today, so instead I decided to write about three shows doing interesting things with relationships right now. I don’t really have the time or interest in Stray Thoughts anymore, so I hope y’all enjoy this. For the past two weeks I’ve been thinking about the breakups and new relationships in The Trainee and Mr. Mitsuya’s Planned Feeding, and now I’m also thinking about Takara being upfront with Taishin about the state of their relationship on Takara’s Treasure. I want to get some of these thoughts down for posterity.

The Ba-Mhee and Tae Breakup on The Trainee

I genuinely love that this show followed through on these two splitting up. I also like that Ba-Mhee asked to take the time to figure out what she’s feeling for Judy before doing something else. Ba-Mhee seems to define herself a lot by the relationship she’s in, and it was sad to see her struggling with the way Tae didn’t always respond to her attempts at expressing care and affection–methods which he never asked for. I think the two of them definitely needed to separate, because it’s not going to work if she’s feeling insecure because Tae is working hard in his preferred field.

That being said, I don’t like the thing with Judy because we know so little about Judy. All I really know about Judy right now is that she’s a workaholic with few personal relationships outside of the office, she’s queer, and she is good at handling clients. When she went to see Ba-Mhee after kissing her drunk intern the night before her anniversary at a work event, I wasn’t keen on the way it felt like Judy managed Ba-Mhee in that scene. Judy feels a bit inaccessible as a character right now, and I hope that’s a choice the show is making about how Ba-Mhee’s relationship with Judy is also rather one-sided, and entirely about her. I hope part of Ba-Mhee’s queer journey is recognizing how she seems to define herself by her relationships, and finds an identity independent of romance.

As for Judy… I hope there’s more to her here than just being pretty and good at her job. We’ve been let down twice this year by GL office romance, and I’d like for that to not be a constant trend. I’d like to see them give her nuance in her pursuit of a relationship with one of her reports.

Lastly, I really loved that Tae is trying to figure out how to be single again, and Pah got mad on his behalf. It’s a good compromise in a genre that seems to really not want characters to be mad at each other for too long, especially when one of them has really hurt another. Tae got to be sad, and someone got to be righteous on his behalf. We even had good storytelling come out of these two using their jobs to punish each other, with it being very clear that these were bad choices.

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko Betrayed Its Characters

While I’m here, let me just say that the back half of this show was utterly offensive, and actively betrayed its own characters. I cannot believe that Hiroko’s own community was so quick to betray her trust and out her repeatedly. I cannot believe this show abandoned Hiroko’s straight girl problems from the beginning for a message that “It’s not that bad now, so just come out. I cannot believe this show had a Boob Monster lesbian withhold sex from her horny girlfriend for a year so she could “cherish her.” I am baffled by all of the choices that went into this, and I will not be recommending it. It gets a 4 from me.

Jane’s Ex on The Trainee

I thought it was really interesting to introduce an ex at this point while Ba-Mhee and Ryan are both considering potential relationships with their mentors. There are consequences in a professional field when you date within your field for some folks, and it’s clear that happened with Jane. Nine, the ex, was here to once again benefit from Jane’s talents, and Jane did not seem like he expected to receive any real credit or benefit from that work. I’m curious if the show intends for any resolution for Jane with Nine, or if he’s here as a romantic tool for Ryan.

Speaking of Ryan, he is clearly in his early 20s, because his jealousy spiral exhausted me. Jane was obviously not into that man, and assured Ryan that he would be back later by making sure he and Ryan had plans for later. I hope we get back to Ryan actually being a good supporter when he’s focused and motivated, especially now that we know that Jo was meant to illuminate things about Pah.

Mitsuya’s Breakup with Noguchi on Mr. Mitsuya’s Planned Feeding

One of my favorite things about this age-gap story is that Mitsuya has been out for a long time, and he has a romantic and sexual history. I loved that he’s had an on again-off again relationship that he needed to bring to a close as part of his own story, and I loved how it wasn’t the ugliest of breakups. These two men know each other intimately, and this final break for them turned into a small celebration of what they had between them. Important things got aired, they snipped a little at each other, and they got to enjoy one last meal together in a way that added a gentle finality to the situation.

On Ishida’s end, I absolutely loved that he’s continued to be upright with Mitsuya about his feelings, called their date what it was, and stepped down from his professional role with Mitsuya. On top of that, I actually love that it was Noguchi that gave him the final inspiration he needed to go back to sports and face his own angst there. It’s actually so special for me that a 27 year-old man who felt like he had to give up on his dreams is finding a way to do something with the specific feelings he has about that.

I’m also never getting over Ishida telling Mitsuya that he wants to be seen as a man and not a cute kid.This, right after introducing Mitsuya to a food he’d never experienced before! We can thank @isaksbestpillow for making this possible, and this feels especially poignant for me right after we said goodbye to Okita Kakeru, who explicitly wanted to be seen as cute. I am really excited about the queer themes that keep coming out of this show, and I’m sure I’ll have more to say.

Takara and Taishin Avoiding Breakup Nonsense on Takara’s Treasure

So often in these shows with small age gaps in school, they never seem to know how to cope with graduation. I finished rewatching You’re My Sky last night, and that show solved it with travel for one couple, and external collaboration for the mains. I loved this show having the older partner ask the junior directly about the challenges of life after graduation for them as a couple.

This worked so well, because the show has shown us for weeks that Taishin is always paying attention to Takara, and @lurkingshan detailed how many ways Taishin showed that he understood Takara this week, and I appreciated @clownshoessqueaking covering how Takara has managed his restraint across this show. It’s just so rare that we see two characters have the important conversation that needs to be had, and give each other the exact assurances they need. Taishin got to hear directly from Takara about how things were going for them, and was able to say that he wanted the relationship and initiate physical intimacy between them.

For all that this show has felt really quiet for two months, it’s becoming one of the shows I will likely remember from this year.

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!

#Ben watches #Ben writes #the trainee #the trainee the series #ayaka is in love with hiroko #mr. mitsuya's planned feeding #mitsuya sensei no keikakuteki na ezuke #takara no vidro #takara's treasure #thai bl #japanese b #japanese gl #gl series #bl series

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hellbrainrot · 3 months ago

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The writers are crafting Daemon and Aemond's arcs as a Hero's Journey.

Daemon's Season 2 arc was essentially this, and next season once Aemond arrives at Harrenhal he will start his.

Interviewer: "When you're processing House of the Dragon, what are some other big mythologies that you're thinking of when you're making sense of this story?

Ryan responds by naming "The Hero of a Thousand Faces" by Joesph Campbell and Arthiuan Mythology as key influences.

— Ryan Condal on Season 2 of House of the Dragon | House of R

Geeta Patel also references the "Hero Journey" in regards to Daemon:

“When he gets to Harrenhal and all these crazy things start happening, he’s the first guy that’ll say, ‘This is weird. These are crazy.’ He’s that guy. He’s a realist. He’s a scientist. He doesn’t believe in all that stuff,” Patel shares. “In that moment where he’s with Rhaenyra, he is being chosen to be heroic. He’s always thought heroism is violence. I think in that moment, he needed to actually be heroic in a greater way. Ryan and Sara always wanted this to be a moment where he’s humbled by how small he is in the greater scheme of things, and he is called to action. That’s why he becomes a hero. That is the simple definition of a hero’s journey. It’s the first point.”

This type of narrative arc echoes a deeper pyschological theme often discussed in mythology-- the confornation with the "shadow" self

"A key stage in the hero’s journey is the confrontation with the shadow – the dark, repressed aspects of the psyche that we deny or project onto others. Jung believed that facing and integrating the shadow was essential for psychological growth and maturity"

"Carl Jung saw the hero’s journey as a metaphor for the process of individuation and integrating the conscious and unconscious selves"

Ewan has multiple quotes where he talks about his shadow side:

["In season 2, what's been exciting for me to explore is that shadow side, seeing that vulnerability behind the facade, you know, this hard exterior that he manufactured over the years. You know, have a little peek behind it, see if that kid is still the neglected bullied boy, and explore the nuance on the upcoming episodes," he said."] -- Ewan Mitchell

[“I made a very conscious decision to really just push for the villain in season one,” he says. “But now you’re going to see all that shadow side. What I love about Aemond is that he has an ambiguity. He could be looking at someone thinking about how he wants to cook them a meal and take them on a date or he could be looking at someone thinking he wants to make them the meal and take Vhagar [his dragon] on a date.”] -- Ewan Mitchell for Esquire

And lastly the reference to the Season 2 trailer where Larys says the quote “The enemy without may be fought with swords, the enemy within is more insidious” (he says this directly to Aemond in Season 2 of Episode 6) followed by the scenes of Daemon in Harrenhal and Aemond lying in the brothel madam's lap, seem to emphasize the internal struggles both characters are facing.

The enemy within is often the shadow, the repressed and rejected parts of ourselves that we avoid.

Both Aemond and Daemon are grappling with their shadow sides, which drives them to be act recklessly and become dangerous forces within their respective factions.

The internal enemy is more insidious because it’s subtle and deeply personal. It operates on a level that , in order to overcome it , requires self awareness and introspective growth---a transformation.

I'll break down each step of the Hero's Journey and explore how it aligns with Daemon's transformation (which I believe is still ongoing):

The Call to Adventure – Blood and Cheese Aftermath

Daemon sets Blood and Cheese in motion, but when it backfires, he flees to Harrenhal. His journey begins with an attempt to escape responsibility, but his stay at Harrenhal forces him to confront it.

First Vision--Young Rhaenyra sewing Jaehaerys’ head -- (Season 2 Episode 3, The Burning Mill)

Instead of facing his mistakes, Daemon isolates himself at Harrenhal, refusing to admit his guilt. The vision shows his subconscious blaming himself for abandoning Rhaenyra and making her clean up his mess.

Refusal of the Call – Daemon resists confronting his past and responsibilities.

He refuses to send a raven to Rhaenyra , too proud to admit his mistakes.

Second Vision – Rhaenyra’s Accusation & Decapitation --(Season 2 Episode 4, The Red Dragon and the Gold)

Rhaenyra Targaryen: It's been said that Targaryens are closer to gods than to men... In my eyes, you were a god, Daemon Targaryen. The Prince of the City, the Lord of Flee Bottom. I was an innocent. You exploited me and abandoned me. You sullied my name at court. You empowered my rivals. You tried to make my ruin. You put me on that throne. And you love me, and you hate me for it. You created me, Daemon. Yet you are now set on destroying me. All because your brother loved me more than he did you."

Rhaenyra in the vision tells Daemon that he “created” her but is now destroying her.

She accuses him of exploiting her and setting her up for ruin.He reacts by killing the vision of Rhaenyra, symbolizing his initial rejection of his guilt.

Instead of reflecting on his role in her suffering, he lashes out, further proving his unwillingness to accept responsibility.

Supernatural Aid – The visions and Alys Rivers guide Daemon through his internal struggles.

["The higher mythologies develop the role in the great figure of the guide, the teacher, the ferryman, the conductor of souls to the afterworld. " ]-- A Hero with a Thousand Faces Chapter I: Departure, Section 3 : Supernatural Aid

["Protective and dangerous, motherly and fatherly at the same time, this supernatural principle of guardianship and direction unites in itself all the ambiguities of the unconscious—thus signifying the support of otir conscious personality by that other, larger system, but also the inscrutability of the guide that we are following, to the peril of all our rational ends" ]-- A Hero with a Thousand Faces Chapter I: Departure, Section 3 : Supernatural Aid

The Supernatural Aid understands that the hero has to go through tough trials and tribulations and will push them to a spot where they are uncomfortable. Though the transformation process may be painful, these figures see comfort and discomfort as essential for growth.

Alys Rivers is a mysterious woman with foresight and is linked to Daemon’s visions. She is a seer with knowledge beyond ordinary understanding.

Third Vision – Aemond’s Manifestation Leads Him to Alys -- (Season 2 Episode 4, The Red Dragon and the Gold)

Daemon follows what appears to be Aemond but finds himself in Alys’ chambers.

Alys gives Daemon a potion, which results in his visions continuing even when he's awake-- blurring the lines between reality and the subconscious. This symbolizes a forced awakening by Alys, making it impossible for Daemon to continue ignoring his struggles.

Symbolism: Aemond serves as a mirror to Daemon (both are ambitious, second sons, and unpredictable warriors).

Crossing the First Threshold / Belly of the Whale– Daemon fully enters his subconscious and past traumas.

This stage of the Hero's Journey often personifies unconscious fears, repressed desires, or unresolved conflicts.

["With the personifications of his destiny to guide and aid him, the hero goes forward in his adventure until he comes to the "threshold guardian" at the entrance to the zone of magnified power. "]

These guardians are often symbolic of the hero’s fears, societal constraints, or unresolved issues that keep them from advancing on their journey or transformation.

Fourth Vision – Laena Confronting Him About Their Daughters-- (Season 2, Episode 4, The Red Dragon and the Gold)

Laena’s ghost asks, “Have you looked after our girls?”

Symbolism: Daemon has neglected his daughters, proving his inability to balance power and family.

His estrangement from his daughters can be seen as Daemon neglecting his familial duties, something that prevents him from fully embracing responsibility.

Road of Trials

So far each vision that Daemon receives is a part of his psyche

Guilt over Jaehaerys.

His role in shaping (and hurting) Rhaenyra.

His failure as a father.

His unresolved need for power and validation.

["ONCE having traversed the threshold, the hero moves in a dream landscape of curiously fluid, ambiguous forms, where he must survive a succession of trials" --- Hero Journey The hero is covertly aided by the advice, amulets, and secret agents of the supernatural helper whom he met before his entrance into this region. Or it may be that he here discovers for the first time that there is a benign power everywhere supporting him in his superhuman passage."]-- A Hero with a Thousand Faces Chapter II: Initiation, Section 1 : Road of Trials

During this stage is where the supernatural helper (Alys) aids him on his trials.

["But I’ll cross you no further. I’m sure your tactics are, after all, approved by the queen"]-- Alys (Season 2 Episode 5 , Regent )

If Daemon's actions harm the innocent or are seen as overly brutal, it could tarnish Rhaenyra's cause once again and make it more difficult to gather the support he needs.

She is subtly guiding him toward a different tactic, where instead of raising an army through fear and violence, Daemon should focus on a more thoughtful and judicious strategy.

Meeting with the Goddess/ Woman as the Temptress – Daemon's Vision of his "mother" (Season 2 Episode 5 -- Regent)

["The remembered image is not only benign, however; for the "bad" mother too —(1) the absent, unattainable mother, against whom aggressive fantasies are directed, and from whom a counteraggression is feared; (2) the hampering, forbidding, punishing mother; (3) the mother who would hold to herself the growing child trying to push away; and finally (4) the desired but forbidden mother (Oedipus complex) whose presence is a lure to dangerous desire (castration complex)—persists in the hidden land of the adult"]-- Chapter II: Initiation, Section 2: Meeting with the Goddess

["And the testings of the hero, which were preliminary to his ultimate experience and deed, were symbolical of those crises of realization by means of which his consciousness came to be amplified and made capable of enduring the full possession of the mother-destroyer, his inevitable bride. With that he knows that he and the father are one: he is in the father's place."] -- Chapter II: Initiation, Section 3: Woman as the Temptress

["You were always the strong one. The finest swordsman. The fearless dragonrider," he imagines his mom telling him during this twisted encounter. "Your brother had great love in his heart, but he lacked your constitution. Viserys was unsuited for the crown, but you, Daemon, you were made to wear it. If only you’d be born first. My favorite son."]

Symbolism: A disturbing vision where Daemon seeks validation through power and intimacy, exposing his unresolved trauma and ambition. It tempts him with the idea that he was the rightful heir.

But after hearing "My favorite son" Daemon reacts with a look of horror and confusion. Although part of him desires the validation and recognition that the vision provides, another part of him recoils from it.

His reaction could signify that he’s aware, on some level, that the type of validation he’s seeking is unhealthy and unsustainable.

After this scene, in the same epiosde, Daemon says this to Alys:

Daemon Targaryen: "She cannot succeed, Alys. Even if I willed it to be so. The people who support her will not be led by her. They look to a man for strength. Who’s better suited to it? The Hightowers with their scheming? Or Viserys’s first true heir? When I take King’s Landing… Rhaenyra is welcome to join me there and take her place by my side. King and queen… ruling together" ]

Alys Rivers : "It’s a pity, don’t you think, that you never knew your mother?"

Alys knows that Daemon had a vision about his mother and saw how he reacted to it. Her response to his words is a subtle nudge for him to remember the vision and how he responded negatively she knows uggesting that Daemon’s ambition for power and control is tied to his emotional needs.

After her words, there is a brief pause in Daemon's actions, and the expression on his face shifts. Alys uses her understanding of his unconscious to subtly prompt him to reflect more deeply on his words.

Atonement of the father-- (Season 2 Episode 6 -- Smallfolk & Season 2 Episode 7-- The Red Sowing)

Sixth Vision-- Viserys on the throne

Daemon Targaryen: Brother?

Viserys Targaryen: Did you say it?, “The Heir for a Day, " Did you say it?

Daemon Targaryen: You can’t possibly still be angry about this.

Viserys Targaryen: My family was just destroyed.You should’ve been at my side.But instead you chose to celebrate your own rise.Laughing at me… laughing with the whores and lickspittles.And everything I’ve given you, you’ve thrown back in my face!I have decided…

Daemon Targaryen: Don’t.

Viserys Targaryen: …to name a new heir. You are to return to Runestone and your lady wife at once, and you are to do so without quarrel, by order of your king.

Daemon Targaryen: No!Open the door! Open the door. Please. Please. Please

We start to see the further cracks in Daemon's psyche that are pushing him to confront his issues with his brother.

This vision is where Daemon is getting all of his failures thrown back in his face directly from someone who he sees as his father figure; Viserys words expose Daemon's shadow - the darker aspects he prefers to ignore and run from--his selfishness, the abandonment of his family, and his deep insecurity about being replaced as heir.

Daemon's desperation to return to his brother and explain himself offers a self-realization for Daemon.

Following this vision, we see Daemon go through an emotional breakdown.

Within the same episode,it leads to the this stage where he opens up a bit to Alys about his issues with Rhaenyra.

Daemon Targaryen: She never even wanted it. The crown. She spared it no thought.

Alys Rivers: Well, that's perhaps why your brother gave the crown to her. Perhaps those who strive for it are the least suited to wear it.

Daemon Targaryen: Don't lecture me!

Alys Rivers: Viserys never wanted it himself, if you recall. It came to him, and he did his best. It's not a prize to be won, but a burden to bear

"It is in this ordeal that the hero may derive hope and assurance from the helpful female figure, by whose magic (pollen charms or power of intercession) he is protected through all the frightening experiences of the father's ego-shattering initiation. For if it is impossible to trust the terrifying father-face, then one's faith must be centered elsewhere (Spider Woman, Blessed Mother); and with that reliance for support, one endures the crisis—only to find, in the end, that the father and mother reflect each other, and are in essence the same"-Chapter II: Initiation, Section 5: Atonement of the father

During the Atontment of the Father Stage of the Hero's Journey the hero often receives guidance from a female figure , who aids them through their ego shattering initaiton.

Alys plays this role for Daemon , helping him navigate his inner turmoil.

In this exchange, her words “Viserys never wanted it himself, if you recall” seem to echo his subconcious, touching on parts of him that are still in denial or that haven't been fully confronted.

Deep down Daemon knows that his brother never truly desired the crown.

Aftering their converstation it leads us to his:

Seventh Vision –Where Daemon Comforts Viserys Over Aemma’s Death

Symbolism: Daemon holds Viserys as he cries, a moment where Daemon acknowdgles that he should have been there for his brother.This is a pivotal moment for Daemon, both as a character and in terms of his relationship with Viserys.

He acknowleges his past failures and missed opportunites to be a supportive brother

Eighth Vision – Viserys Telling Him the Crown is a Burden - (Season 2 Episode 7-- The Red Sowing)

Daemon realizes that ruling isn’t the ultimate prize—the burden of the crown destroys those who wear it.

This is a turning point—Daemon no longer resents Viserys but understands the weight of his choices.

"And then that opens the door for Daemon sitting with old Viserys and Viserys literally offering him the Crown. The thing we all think that Daemon has always wanted, although I say its a little more nuanced than that, I think he just wanted Viserys to say "It could be yours" so he could say, "No, no, that's too much responsibility.--(HOTD: Official Podcast: S2 Ep. 8: Ryan Condal on the Season Two Finale )

"Really to us, the major scene is that challenge that Viserys gives him with the crown, "Do you want it still?" Because that's really where he has to make the choice" (HOTD: Official Podcast: S2 Ep. 8: Ryan Condal on the Season Two Finale )

Apotheosis (Enlightenment)/ The Ulimate Boon (The Reward)

"When the envelopment of consciousness has been annihilated, then he becomes free of all fear, beyond the reach of change." --- A Hero with a Thousand Faces Chapter II: Initiation, Section 5 : Apotheosis

The final vision of the prophecy is Daemon’s moment of enlightenment.

"The idea was that [Daemon seeing Aegon’s prophecy] was the reward for the journey he went through." (HOTD: Official Podcast: S2 Ep. 8: Ryan Condal on the Season Two Finale )

Ninth Vision – The Prophecy (His enlightenment and Ultimate Reward ) —(Season 2 Episode 8--The Queen Who Ever Was)

After all his trials, he's rewarded with seeing the vision of the prophecy that Viserys was obessed with.

He realizes that his destiny isn’t to rule, but to serve the greater cause of House Targaryen’s survival.

This moment aligns his purpose with something greater than himself.

Symbolism: [“He can have a role in this , it’s very important .. even if it's not the top role and he can have a major role in the future of the Targaryen dynasty as Rhaenyra's king consort and as her justice and as her hand and the leader of her massive dragon host to put her on that throne”] -- HOTD: Official Podcast: S2 Ep. 8: Ryan Condal on the Season Two Finale

["And he now sees something bigger out there , and he wants to be apart of it"]

Final Thoughts:

Daemon was forced to confront the emotional wounds he caused by coming to terms with his role as a father, brother, and husband. A promising aspect of Daemon's upcoming arc in Season 3 is that his journey in the Hero's Journey appears to be ongoing. It seems like we will see more of what he's learned from this experience next season. Ryan has hinted that that Rhaena will have an "impact" on Daemon. Given the direction in the book, it's almost certain that she will get Nettles's role, and they will explore the dynamic between the two.

Also, considering Aemond's character and the fact that he's heading to Harrenhal next season, it makes me think that we will see him undergo a similar process, though I don't think it will have the same story beats as Daemon's. (I will make a separate post about my predictions with the structure of the Hero’s Journey in mind)

#daemon targaryen #aemond targaryen #ewan mitchell #alys rivers #asoiaf #hotd s2 #hotd season 2 #house of the dragon #character study #rhaenyra targaryen #hotd #ryan condal

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