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#that said i did get the second anthology. i cant read it but i like just seeing them in situations
killjoy-prince · 1 year
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This is the most prsk merch I've seen at my kinokuniya
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asexualzoro · 3 years
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☕ favorite podcasts and why you like them
ill open this with admitting i dont actually listen to many podcasts! i much prefer reading to watching stuff, so my preferred media to binge is more webcomics or writing. so this list wont be super long, but i do have stuff
my all time fave podcast is obviously the magnus archives! i'd wanted to get more into horror, and i really loved the anthological approach of tma, as well as the worldbuilding and slow-till-it's-not introduction of an overarching plot. i love mystery a lot, too, so i had a lot of fun with that aspect as well. the wide range of fears touched on meant every episode had a completely different effect on me, from "you couldnt pay me to listen to this episode a second time" to "this is terrifying and i will cry" to "this does very little for me" to "im barely even scared, i just adore thsi concept, this is fascinating" to "this is really funny actually" to "im terrified and i would listen to a whole series about this." and i never knew which one an episode would be. not to mention how much i loved basically all the cast, Jon especially. id do anything for that man. i could write a whole essay about him alone. Tim too, god i loved the whole s1 staff actually, and--
god. its just such a cool series. i loved the entities and the cast and the format and everything. i really liked it, esp as a reintroduction to horror as ive been avoiding ghosts and stuff for years. i just have a lot of love for this series
another podcast i recently listened to was alice isn't dead, which i listened to all in one day. id actually listened to the first two seasons as they came out, but somehow ?? missed that the third season had dropped and so never finished it. i forgot most of the series and had to start from scratch, which i did, listening to thw whole podcast in one day for 12 hours straight. i really loved it
nearly the only thing id remembered from the podcast originally was the episode "the factory by the sea," and god it was just as good on a relisten--god, i think about that episode all the time, and i have since i first listened in 2016. i'd also vaguely remembered listening to "mouth of the water" in 2017, and though id remembered disliking it, i actually loved it on my second listen. and "three nights at the old motel" was fantastic to listen to for the first time, i adored it. these are probably my favorite episodes out of everything in this series, but i cant think of a single episode i didnt like
since i’ve already said. very much. about these two podcasts i’ll leave it, but if you want specifics on anything just send me another ask!
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hey-hamlet · 4 years
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BNHA FIC PROMPTS
A collection of all of the fic ideas from that ask game, as of now. I’ll throw in new ones if i get any and when I remember. Feel free to use any of them, I’d love a link if you did!
with hands to the sky, I beg (what will save us?)
Izuku is a god who asks to be reborn as a human to try and help. He is warned he can’t return to being a god and will join the mortal realm, ever reincarnated. He agrees.
Izuku is a child with faint memories of a life he never lived, who knows too much about the world but not enough about the people around him. He’s not listed as having a quirk but he’s never gotten sick, never been hurt. He scares the other children and the adults don’t like his precocious nature. Inko loves her little miracle.
 My Soul is Like a Supernova
Things happen around Izuku. Always have. Everything from earthquakes and villain attacks to miraculous healing and lottery wins. He’s always attracted big events like this - as if even the universe can see how important he is and it warps itself around him.
He sees this as perfectly normal. 1A is begining to notice a stressful pattern.
This one regret of mine
Character study of Inko and how she deeply regrets so many things she’s done in her life, from her husband, to giving up on her carrier, to telling Izuku he couldn’t be a hero and then letting him keep going to UA.
But no matter what she’d never regret her son.
Of souls and lost causes
A good ol’ Izuku sees dead people AU, focused more on his younger years when he’d wander around the city helping as many spirits as he could, only to return home at the end of the day exhausted and dirty to an increasingly worried mother who believed the doctor when he said seeing ghosts as a quirk would be impossible.
my life.your choice
Underground heroics AU (i dont think ive ever posted that au huh): Izuku is the well-known son of japan’s immortal emperor, All for One. Born quirkless, he’s been emotionally abused but violently protected his whole life by his father, his mother killed before his eyes for trying to take him away. He’s never been able to make a choice for himself save for his bodyguard - his childhood friend, Bakugo Katsuki.
Katsuki made a pledge to protect him when they were in kindergarten and he’ll be damned if he breaks it now. And if it takes the two of them joining the resistance, meeting a vigilante by the name of All Might thought long dead and Izuku receiving a near-mythical quirk? Well, that just makes it more exciting, doesn’t it?
I forgot that you existed
Izuku gets hit with a quirk that not only makes people forget him, it prevents them from seeing him as well - all but erasing him from reality for everyone he knows. He can still interact with things but all it manages to do is just UA shut down under fear of villain infiltration. They find Izuku 18 hours later when the quirk wears off - a motion tracking gun trained on his forehead.
certain uncertainties
No one can predict the quirks trapped in One for All or when they’ll show up. Anthology fic of Izuku discovering each of them, some being rather helpful, and at least one piece of merch being sent into a low orbit.
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Set in the same universe I wrote console reset in; during the two heroes movie: they never defeat Nine and he slaughters the whole island and his class, leaving Izuku till last. He comes back at the start of their first day on the island and doggedly makes friends with every islander he can because while it hurt seeming them die, it hurt even more knowing he’d never even learnt most of their names.
They win this time the first time they meet him, even if it’s a marathon fight of 8 hours with him and Bakugo doggedly wearing him down. No one dies. Izuku thinks it’s worth dying as many times as he has to to keep the people he loves smiling.
The immortality of the heroic spirit
One of the quirks in One for All is determination: if you have something you desperately want to do, you can’t die - no matter how much blood you lose or home many pieces your body is crushed into - you’ll just heal back to where you were before you died. All Might and Aizawa find this out to horrifying effect during a brutal villain fight they are stuck watching on the news with the rest of a terrified UA.
In hindsight this makes a lot of sense to Izuku. Aizawa wants to scream. All Might has coughed up more blood than is probably healthy and all of 1A bruised hands from where they were clutching each other’s when it got too tense.
Shine on you invincible legacy
Izuku becomes a top 10 hero before hes even out of high school, hitting No.2 the second he graduates and taking No.1 from Hawks literally the next time the ranking is counted. 1A will not stop throwing him parties each time he moves up in the ranking, even if in 3rd year it was every other week. All Might comes to ever one of them.
Shake the Dirt from Your Shoes
Izuku will be a hero and no one will stop him - an AU a fair bit like the beginning of canon except Izuku fights back, remains unending optimistic and maybe engages in a light bit of technically legal vigilantism, accidentally befriending a vast array of heroes and a student or two.
To his horror, they recognise him out of costume as soon as he speaks to them, resulting in a very eventful first day at UA.
do you feel with a heart of steel
Original Sin AU, young Izuku finding feeling emotions difficult and not knowing why. He finds a dying animal on the way home and sits with it, patting it until it passes away. He doesn’t think he feels anything, but his cheeks feel wet.
all you want is milk and honey
Villains have been trying to use Izuku his entire life, much to his annoyance and confusion (I wonder who in his family might make him known to villains? hm). He’s gotten very good at being intimidating, even as a child.
When he gets kidnapped with Bakugo on a primary school field trip he decides to hell with it and breaks out all the stops. Turns out villains don’t tend to want a 10-year-old who can describe in great detail how they would hang you with your own intestines.
Bakugo decides that fuck Izuku being quirkless, he’s kind of amazing.
Even the stars
Izuku dies young and no one but the stars cry for him. They bring him back, but his body is cold and he has a nova burning where his heart should be. A four-year-old who has known death and walked among the stars is a terrifying thing. His skin has a shimmer to it, his eyes look like planets with no visible pupil, and he knows far too much.
The stars still speak to him, and they see everything.
bitter dreams and optimistic nightmares
Bakugo and Izuku grow up good friends, until Izuku is taken by villains age 9.
Bakugo’s determined to be a hero to save Izuku, even if it hurts to be at UA without him.
Izuku hates hurting people but he’s determined to make the most of his horrible situation by leaking information to heroes whenever he can. He’s given to All for One to serve as a lab hand to the doctor when All for One finds out this rag tag outpost of his had been hiding a valuable resource.
They meet at the USJ.
Mind Games for Two Shinsou and Izuku are both gen ed students in the same class, but with Shinsou stubbornly refusing to make friends and Izuku being the vice president they are almost strangers. UA has a no quirkless students policy and Shinsou has accidentally discovered that he student in his class with an analysis quirk, doesn’t, actually, have one. Izuku is aware Shinsou knows. They both want to get into the hero course but are under the impression there is only one spot.
It’s tense.
The Melody Stuck in My Soul
Izuku has an empathy/emotional control quirk that hears other’s emotions like music. He uses this both to read people, to defend himself, and, because hes Izuku, to ramp up his adrenaline/motivation/anger to kick ass. He and Bakugo are friends because baby Bakugo was lowkey impressed Izuku managed to weaponize his tears.
Advantage of the musical element: it gives him something concrete to latch on to and change, and it was very easy to work out which emotions were which. Also he has his own theme song, even if he’s the only one who can hear it.
Disadvantage: He cant turn it off. The stronger the emotion the ‘louder’ the music (it doesn’t cover up natural sounds because its not technically there, you get me?)
Error 404, childhood not found
A Hero’s Son AU, snapshot’s of Izuku’s childhood with No.1 Hero All for One as his abusive father.
Age 4 when his quirk never comes in and All for One abandons all pretences of loving him. Age 6 when he realises his son is intelligent and has a use as a lab assistant for the doctor. Age 8 when Bakugo first realises something is wrong. Age 9 when his father is almost killed by the No.1 villain All Might. Age 9 when he’s made to work in the labs with the doctor.
Age 14 when he meets All Might. Age 15 when he makes it into UA.
Darkness Growing (The Light Ever Smaller)
Villains take over Japan after the current arc, leaving all heroes and students that don’t switch sides on the run. 1A is instantly separated with a few of them  being killed, most of the living students with Aizawa and Izuku and Bakugo by themselves, both too stubborn to leave the other.
Aizawa is desperately trying to get to Izuku and Bakugo in an attempt to keep them safe, while the two of them are avoiding Aizawa to keep the rest of their class safe(er), all while avoiding the villains, turncoat heroes and police out to get them. Public support is spotty at best with anyone found ‘harboring a criminal’ given the same punishment as the hero.
Lost soul of last hope
The first wielder has been Izuku’s imaginary friend since he can remember. He’s not very imaginary.
Featuring Izuku with the world’s strangest older brother, Inko coming to the realisation her son can see a ghost, but only one ghost and no one will believe them, Izuku’s quirk being listed as Inko’s because the first wielder can help him fake it, and Izuku wondering why first looks so much like that picture of his father on his mother’s bedside table.
The kids the system failed
100% The 1A run aways au with 1A, Aizawa and Mic being runaways kids of various ages that band together to stay alive and maybe do a little vigilante work on the side.
Izuku has All for One and uses it like you’d expect a traumatised kid to - cautiously at first but when he gets the hang of it there are suddenly no more criminals with quirks in their area, and it looks suspiciously like Uraraka can fly.
Just a second to soon? For the Fic thing?
Aizawa struggles and gets knocked out just before Shigaraki lunges at Tsuyu. She and Izuku are left horribly injured by his quirk with massive facial scarring, and in Tsuyu’s case, the loss of an eye.
Daze
An illusion/fear quirk makes his teachers look like villains and convinces him he’s in danger. They try and stop him without hurting him but it’s difficult considering Izuku is convinced he’s protecting his friends, considering he can only see them broken and bloodied with villains he thought were locked away loaming over them.
Even as Aizawa cuts out his quirk Izuku still tries to shield his friends, snarling ferally.
Morning Glories and Forget-me-nots
A memory quirk of unknown duration hits Izuku, leaving him remembering none of his life. 1A starts to fall apart without one of their pillar’s.
hopeless but not broken
The Long Con au where Izuku asks All Might if he could be a hero without a quirk - he’s really asking if he can stop pretending to be a villain, if he’s worth anything without the quirks he’s been given, if he’s worth something as himself rather than the limited use he can provide. He doesn’t know how to say all of that, so he just asks if he could be a hero.
All Might says no. And Izuku basically decides right then that the only way he’ll ever be able to help people is by being a mole for the heroes like he’s been since he was 10 - that he isn’t worth anything because he’s quirkless and to be considered just as valuable as the people around him are he needs to give his life and more.
He shows up to the bar crying because of All Might and Shigaraki moves his murder plot forward a few months.
Sunflowers and Summer Gardens
All Might starts a garden on campus and 1A like to help. He uses it as a nice place to chill and as physical therapy. He likes to give the different classes bunches of flowers when they sprout.
For Dos and For Donts
Izuku runs into some of his old bullies when out with some of his friends. Uraraka, Iida, Todoroki, Shinsou and Asui intimidate the fuck out of them, and Izuku realises hes not scared of them any more. Then they get frozen yoghurt!
your mistakes, my unbecoming
Aizawa assigns a project on quirk related issues, Izuku ends up with quirkless discrimination, Aizawa assumes his discomfort is just him being upset he doesn’t get to talk about quirks. He doesn’t realise his mistake until he finds Izuku dissociating on the roof.
one and one into the vast
Original Sin AU, All for One and Izuku seeing the vestiges together. One for All sees his brother for the first time and Izuku learns a lot about the voice in his head.
All for One has a mini-crisis about his not son learning he’s a horrific villain, especially considering he has the power to cast his soul out at any time, killing him at will. Izuku doesn’t kill him. He admits its probably not right of him to let AfO remain considering the things he’s done, but All for One is a part of him now and it would be like killing a friend.
All for One quietly decides to hold off on the villainy until all of 1A is dead, for Izuku’s sake.
between the stars of our souls
Izuku and All Might are old gods who keep getting reborn into human forms with their memories regained when they turn 4. Normally finding each other takes a while, and their last reincarnation they never found each other, so this time he resolves to make himself as easy to find as possible, all while saving as many people as he can.
Izuku, aged 4, memories fresh in his head, makes it his mission to get into contact with the man he knows is his father/mentor’s reincarnation. All Might’s agency was not expecting a 4 year old to repeatedly try breaking in to their office, and they especially weren’t expecting him to be so good at it.
you really should have thought this through
Different (and ill-advised) attempts at special moves or team up combo moves. Featuring:
Izuku managing to break Kirishima’s nose.
Uraraka sending Bakugo so high he broke the sound barrier coming back down to earth.
Kaminari and Shouto managing to electrify ice.
Izuku, Todoroki and Bakugo levelling a whole suburb (at least it was condemned???)
I'll Break Anything You Give Me
Different times Izuku desperately tried to repair his relationship with Izuku over the years and the one time Bakugo fully grasps how much he fucked up and reaches out his hand to try to fix it for the first time. Probably includes a lot of screaming, Bakugo learning how to say sorry, a field trip and them having a conversation on Aldera’s roof.
Sinking
One for All kind of possesses Izuku during a quiet night at the dorms. One for All, made of 8 people, 7 of which are dead and had their last experiences in life be rather painful and violent, breaks down, Izuku alone not enough to drown them out. They lash out at anyone who tries to touch them, their quirks tearing Izuku’s body apart.
All Might’s vestige reaches out a hand to Izuku to keep his mind from being torn apart as 1A set about both trying to protect Izuku and get Aizawa who was off campus on patrol.
Feat. Bakugo and All Might being the only people with any idea about what’s going on and getting more and more stressed each second that passes. Iida, Uraraka and Todoroki being good heroes and even better friends. Blood King deciding he’s never watching 1A for Aizawa again, and Aizawa deciding he’s never leaving 1A alone ever again.
A Long Way From Home
Shirakumo wakes up in Kurogiri’s body in Tartarus with only shadowed memories of his time as a villain. He’s scared and alone and he just wants to see his friends again, even if he’s scared they hate him because at least that’s something he knows.
Too Far Gone
The other side AU, it comes out Izuku is a villain with (knockoff) All for One and he has a showdown with Mirio. He and Izuku trained together under All Might and Mirio tries to plead with him but Izuku has to basically tell him to go to hell to not ruin his placet as crown prince of the underworld.
Of course, he’s not only doing this to save people, he’s also doing it with All Might’s blessing - taking over from All Might himself serving as a villain after he killed All for One to prevent a power vacuum.
Doesn’t mean that his friends in 1A know that.
Snowy hills and sunlit peaks
Probably an AU about All Might being a mountain spirit with a little shrine that Izuku is the only one who visits - Izuku gets in trouble and All Might manifests himself, saves him, and tells everyone to keep their hands off his human son.
Wilting
Izuku gets sick and he tries to hide it because he’s scared its something serious but he just gets worse and worse. His friends are the ones who eventually step in and comfort him.
I’d probably write two endings with one being a bad end and the other a good end.
My wish came true without me realising 
Izuku wakes up one morning, comes downstairs and just starts crying. Everyone panics and he reassures them they are happy tears and that he's just glad to be here. They all call him sappy and give him a hug. Later in the day he and Bakugo chat and Izuku reveals he never even expected to live this long, let alone become a hero. Bakugo grumbles that he’s too stubborn to die, and not to get too cocky. Izuku promises he wont.
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ofmerrit · 4 years
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*  ◜  kristine froseth  ,  cis  woman  &  she/her  ◞  *  according  to  school  records  ,  that’s  merrit  antonietta  unn  hornsby  walking  on  campus  grounds  with  their  usual  iced-americano  from  the ancient  grounds  cafe  .  they’re  known  for  their  long  ,  dark  blonde  locks  outshining  their  surprisingly  tall  figure   and  are  often  spotted  at   the  versailles  garden  reading  wild  geese  by  mary  oliver  .  almost  everyone  knows  their  family  is  worth  like  1.2  billion  dollars  ,  so  we  suspect  they’re  a  member  of   olympus   ,  you  know  ,  the  one  for  old   money  .  do  you  know  where  they  were  the  night  that  the  scholarship  student  died  ?  they  claim  they  were  touring  around  the  campus  for  inspiration  ,  must  be  an  architecture major  thing  ,  right  .  and  hey  ,  don’t  you  agree  that  the  sophomore  reminds  you  of  muffled  screams  into  silk  pillows  ,  the  bellyache  you  get  after  doing  something  wrong  &  vacant smiles ?  you  better  watch  out  h e s t i a  before  something  dangerous  happens  to  you  and  life  ends  at  twenty-two  .  *  ◜  barb  ,  twenty-two  ,  gmt +3  &  she / her  ◞  *
alright alright . it’s me , wrinkle free brain bar from gmt +3 !! so pumped to be here w you sexies mwah <3 here’s merrit’s pinterest board if you’re interested ( pls im a virgo n pinterest addict .. lemme make boards for our muses .. id d*e ! ) imma . bore u to de*th w this intro pls .. forgive me .. i only hav 2 brain cells , this is all over the place HDFJK rip </3 tw: kidnapping, death.
starting w the boring statistics :     full name: merrit antonietta ‘antonia’ unn hornsby     nicknames: mer, antonia, ant, tbc.     code name: hestia ; the goddess of hearth , the family , the state & the domesticity.      star sign: libra sun , virgo moon , scorpio rising.     sexuality: bisexual.     favourite literature piece: wild geese by mary oliver ,  an anthology .                                              “meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,                                              are heading home again.                                              whoever you are, no matter how lonely,                                              the world offers itself to your imagination,                                              calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting                                              over and over announcing your place                                              in the family of things.”
merrit is the only child of the young hornsby couple. she doesn’t remember much of her childhood, according to her grandma, she was the happiest kid. had everything she could ever ask for and more. 
the reason why merrit can’t remember any of this is the beginning of a tragedy — a stormy december night, she and her parents went missing. grandma says they were gone for over five months. a kidnapping case gone cold, they thought. right when the old couple was giving up on them, an angel from above delivered antonia to their door step. malnourished, void of any memory but alive.
life after losing her parents was easier than expected, grandma hornsby ( nee du pont ) made sure merrit would recover from this without any trauma & in a way, she did.
doesn’t have the best relationship with her grandpa, he’s harsh and cranky and too smart for his own good, merrit is lowkey afraid of him lmfao 
she’s currently studying architecture — her dream major was interior design but grandpa encouraged her to pursue architecture to follow her father’s footsteps.  kinda made sense because she’s fascinated by houses .. in reality the insides, the families living there are the real source of interest for her but she’s happy to settle for outside for now gshdjkf
personality stuff !!!
uMM.... i’d say she’s lowkey a people pleaser sdhjkf like ?? making her grandparents proud is . literally the only thing she’s ever wanted in this world n now she feels the same responsibility for every single soul in her life . a torturous existence if you ask me 
can’t say no <3  if she thinks its gonna make u feel a tiny bit better . boom . she’s in .
the friend you’d call to bury a body . no questions asked . she’s pickin up the shovel as you speak asdghfjk unless it’s between her grandparents n you, then *michael scott vc* how the turntables.... sdhjfk shes rattin u out instantly rip
LOVES to talk n listen . fills her heart with joy . a blabbermouth . 
an overachiever . doesn’t sleep much, rocks the dark circles 7/24 lmfao works bc doesn’t like the idea of .. wasting life if that makes sense ??
loyal 2 a fault. mostly to olympus. wld do anything to stay in the secret society / establish her place .
extremely gentle n caring . sometimes ?? its just . too much sdjkf like. tone it down <3
likes poetry ,, especially mary oliver n louise glück ! her fav poem is the orange by wendy cope.
i imagine her wearing flowy, tulle dresses with floral embroidery or vintage pieces idk 
has shit ton of plants but struggles to keep them alive rip
!!! im . terrible at explaining her fr i hate it here ok i hav a vision but ??? i cant explain it
safe 2 say shes having difficulty deciding who she’s supposed to be . a part of her wants to be the golden child for her grandparents n the other side .. jst wants to live her life y’know ??? 
UPDATE ! i’ve realised that by hiding her secret, i also unintentionally hid a big portion of her personality and she comes across as the typical, soft & gentle soul. don’t get me wrong, she is indeed gentle and soft but she’s also volatile and deceitful !
connection ideas !!!
childhood friends - except she doesn’t remember any of it. maybe your muse thinks she’s changed. maybe they don’t care. maybe they are no longer friends . idk 
penpals - seriously ???  i imagine her as someone who writes letters jst bc they’re nostalgic n cute ??? cld be fun.
a home - i kno home’s not a person but a feeling but tell that to merrit lmao. this person’s probably the only one in the whole damn world she’d choose over her grandparents. platonic or romantic, doesn’t matter.
betrothed - super old school yikes. nt exactly betrothed either .. maybe her grandma thot it’d be better if these two were in a relationship . maybe they remained as friends . maybe they hated each other . maybe they kept the publicity stunt ( cue 2 merrit begging to keep faking the rel so her grandpa wld be happy )
exes - a classic. ts this is me trying vibes . on good or bad terms . lingering feelings ? yes please .
bad + good influence - again, classic sdhjfk
saw u at the garden but cldn’t say hi bc i’m a dumb binch - basically someone she has a minor, unrequited crush on. probably knows this person through her other friends but she’s too damn timid to take the first step
a friend from labyrinth . ok hear me out . this is a big deal for her bc she’s all in for her society n v opposed to the idea of a second one even existing . wouldn’t say shes openly mean or .. rude to labyrinth members but ?? jst . wants to protect her own , so this would be a v secret friendship .
a project - could say she has some sort of a savior complex . wants to ‘fix’ people up .. toxic much, mer? <3 anyway ashdjk maybe she thinks .. she can change your muse ? i truly dont know. 
ok final one . its juicy . someone who’s suspicious of her . she has a secret n for the obv reason i didn’t talk abt it, your muse’s suspicious n it’s just . hashtag awkward
these r the only connection ideas i have rn my brain said get tht fire exit door im off im so sorry forgive moi bUT im a sucker for angst : ) so theres that 
something inspired by my queen n savior phoebe bridgers or . folklore ?? yeah.
give me noora / william vibes . the ex friends . the dan / blair dynamic . i live for them ok sgdhfjkl
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saints-row-2 · 6 years
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film watch day 31: Every Halloween Film
happy Halloween today i watched every Halloween film currently available to me. i couldnt get to rewatch Halloween 2018 but i already wrote about it a couple of weeks back so feel free to revisit that post. anyway, i watched ten Halloween movies today. It took around 17 hours. i started at 11:15am and im writing this now at 6 am.
so lets get to the post. for the most part i went in chronological order, except i chose to start with Rob Zombie’s remakes because i knew if i didnt id be finishing the day by watching them at the break of dawn and the idea of doing that was so fucking putrid to me that i decided to get them out of the way first.
Halloween (2007)
i hate this fucking movie. i mentioned in an ask the other day but im happy to repeat here, i dont hate the idea of expanding on Michael’s backstory. like the fact is we largely know his backstory, the issue is how this film chose to portray it. the original Halloween is frightening because its based around the idea that the seemingly safe, quiet suburbs are not as safe as they seem; you can be on a street youve known your entire life, only a few metres from your own home, and still at risk. the whole idea of showing Michael as a murderer when he was six is to tell us that anyone could be a threat, that our conventions that all killers are a particular kind of person is false.
Halloween 2007 says fuck that, we know what serial killers are, and theyre those poor kids who come from shitty neighbourhoods and have abusive parents and mothers who are sex workers. everything that Halloween brings to the table is fucking tedious, played out, and massively uninspired. it wants to bring us the truth about why Michael is like he is, but Rob Zombie’s only understanding of serial killers is in the cliche and exploitative. he has nothing honest about human nature to show us, only the exact same stories that have been fed to us by crime and horror movies past.
this film is incredibly loud and in fucking constant motion. even on steady shots of still scenes the camera constantly shakes, and in every other scene its always whirling around from tracking shot to panning over the scene to just idly zooming in and out of nothing. Zombie’s favourite shot is to have something large and out of focus in the foreground -- like some plants -- and to shoot the characters standing about six feet away muttering to themselves. every single fucking shot in this movie lingers too long, every scene drags a little longer than it needs to. this film moves with the pace that i would describe as “family guy gag”.
and this film is so loud. people are always talking or screaming, largely about nothing important or interesting. theres always music, but it never particularly adds anything; for reasons i fail to fucking understand the entirety of the original theme plays over mostly uninteresting tracking shots of a minor character walking around yelling filler lines about nothing.
the writing is horseshit. everyone in this film is vile, no one talks or behaves like real human beings. almost every exchange in this movie is the characters saying the exact same thing back and forth inanely, frequently punctuated by screaming FUCK as loudly as possible and talking about sex in a way that 40 year old men really really wished teenage girls talk about sex. Halloween (2007) is thoughtlessly gross and mean and nasty, disconnected from any kind of human sensitivity and empathy. it wants to be complicated and to be deep but its crushingly simplistic and stupid. the only thing that redeems it is that its not Halloween II (2009). speaking of which...
Halloween II (2009)
jesus christ this movie is so fucking boring. Halloween II is two hours long but feels like its about twenty hours long. i felt like i was watching this film for twenty days and twenty nights. i was trapped in an eternal purgatory with this movie.
i really cant fucking emphasise how boring this film is. endless scene after scene of nothing of consequence happening, uninteresting death scenes that add nothing, and Michael wandering around doing jack shit. Halloween II fucking made Michael Myers boring, and im saying this as someone who (as i repeat once every 8 seconds) has a tattoo of him. this film couldnt hold MY interest in two of my favourite characters of all time.
the big fun new addition from the first movie is the presence of Michael and Laurie’s mother as a kind of weird goth ghost guiding Michael to kill. i dont know why Michael had to be Jason Voorhees and be a mommy’s boy all of a sudden, but this addition brings absolutely nothing of interest to the film or to his character. its meant to be symbolic of fucking... something im sure, but it feels meaningless. somehow Michael and Laurie are both able to see and interact with this ghost and the ghost has an agenda to do... something? it feels about as intelligent and coherent as the bullshit cult of thorne shit from 6, but a lot less fun. at some point Michael Myers apparently has mind control powers?
not to repeat myself a hundred fucking times but this film is insanely unpleasant to watch. every scene someone is screaming, generally wailing “fuck you bitch” at anyone in their vicinity. this is two hours of people howling swear words at each other and not infrequently making rape jokes. Rob Zombie loves rape jokes! almost as much as he loves putting sexual assault in his movies over and over again for no reason.
there is nothing to enjoy in this film. theres nothing to gain. there is too much slow-mo and far too many strobe lights and absolutely nothing of any intelligence or grace. Halloween II is a thirteen year old boy in a korn T-shirt calling his mom a bitch while he draws zombies on  the back of his homework, which he will get an F for because the only thing he wrote was “reading is for faggots”.
Halloween (1978)
what the fuck can i say. this is one of the greatest horror movies ever made, if not the greatest. its one of my favourite movies. its forty years old and still just as chilling and frightening as it ever was. it has some shot composition and cinematography thats up with the best ive ever seen, all while being shot on a budget of $300,000. it does more with less than just about any film, launched the slasher genre, shot Jamie Lee Curtis to stardom and created a pop culture icon that stayed strong for decades. its a masterclass in tension and suspense, a lean-cut perfectly paced film with heaps of atmosphere and character.
i love this film with a frantic passion that makes me unable to talk about it in a particularly helpful way. i cant “review” Halloween. I love this film beyond reason and sense and you either get it or you dont.
Halloween II (1981)
Halloween II is largely one of the less remembered entries in the franchise; its a decent enough movie, neither matching up to the highs of the original or the lows of the later films. its a pretty enjoyable little film, created under the logic of ‘well the first one did well, lets do the same thing again’. Carpenter wrote the script but didn’t direct, and while the film has a solid story, the directing lacks his signature flair. its hard to pinpoint, because the film is generally fairly well-shot, but lacks a kind of eye for shot composition that Carpenter made look easy, doesnt have as much patience for suspense.
on its own merits, theres still some great shots and great scenes in the movie. and a lot of really cool kills; II got a lot more creative with what Michael was capable of, and i think the boiling water drowning kill is rightfully pretty infamous.
this was the last Halloween movie Carpenter wrote, and it was the film where the idea of Laurie and Michael being siblings was introduced. and believe me ill defend this fucking decision to the grave. adding the human connection between Michael and Laurie gives a whole other layer to their relationship thats so fascinating to me, and i love that other films try to expand on the themes of family. in general, deciding that this film would continue to focus on Laurie and not do what later slashers did with bouncing around between different casts was a great fucking move, ironically for a franchise that was intended to be an anthology.
quietly exploring the aftermath of the first film was a good idea for a follow-up, and i especially really enjoy Loomis’ role in this movie, and his discussion about who Myers is. the biggest disappointment for me personally is that Laurie lacks a lot of presence in this film. Curtis is great, as always, but the movie dawdles on some side characters who are too disconnected from her to get a sense of what shes going through.
all that being said, Halloween II is decent. the ending is really great, with some really powerful shots. Michael bleeding from the eyes of his mask after Laurie shoots him is one of the best fucking images in horror and him swinging blindly as Laurie and Loomis slowly orchestrate his death is a fucking amazing scene. i have an immense fondness for this movie, with all its flaws. it brings a lot of really cool concepts to the table, and i think it deserves some appreciation.
heres a question tho; where the fuck were Laurie’s parents. theres a suggestion theyre missing, but theres no explanation why and we never hear from them. did michael kill them too? hello? mr and mrs strode? your daughter just fucking killed a guy and all her friends are dead. where the fuck are you.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch
Halloween III is infamous as being the Halloween movie that isn’t about Michael Myers at all. when it first released it was wildly unpopular and remained so for quite a while, but has had a surge in popularity over the last few years. i think just about every horror critic i know now considers Halloween III one of the best in the franchise. and to be fair to it, its a great little movie. not a slasher at all but rather a conspiracy thriller, Halloween III is all about the mystery of what the Silver Shamrock mask-making company are really up to, and why people are disappearing. its a weird and creative little movie, with some really fucking great practical effects that turn it from just being a thriller to being an all-out horror film. it has a few too many ineffective jumpscares and some of the plot twists are kind of disappointing and feel a little too much like the easy option -- and then others are so wildly bizarre no one would see them coming because theyre fucking completely out there. but i kind of love that sort of nonsense in a horror movie. like lets just have a fucking good time in here for once in our fucking lives.
Halloween III is not a perfect or even a really great movie, but yknow, fuck it. the idea that only perfect films are worth watching is dumb. i appreciate the weird shit this film tried and i think it deserves a lot more respect than what it got; if it had been released under another title it probably would have gone down as a classic instead of being derided for years, you ask me.
now things start going rapidly downhill
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
Halloween 4 is when Jamie is introduced as the new final girl; Laurie’s seven year old daughter, after Laurie herself died off-screen in a fucking car crash. the decision to kill off Laurie came from Jamie Lee Curtis decided not to return to the character and instead of recasting her, they went with just having her… die. off-screen. in the franchise where the previous two movies were about her triumph and determination to stay alive. like its the casual thoughtlessness of this that, the idea no one would give a shit a character returned, that in my eyes epitomises how fucking little anyone cared about this franchise going forward.
man the idea of Laurie dying completely irrelevant to Michael… thats a lot. anyway continuing on his quest to erase anyone related to him, Michael starts targeting his niece Jamie for the three movies in the franchise. this is where the series started rapidly losing any grip on reality. while Michael always had some kind of superhuman elements to him (he took six bullets to the chest and survived in the first movie) these became increasingly wildly exaggerated. now hes crushing peoples skulls with his bare hands shit like what the fuck. first of all do that to me and secondly, it was this kind of slide into unreality that let the supernatural elements of the series creep in further until you end up with the shitshow that is Halloween 6. like it was the decrease in the impact of violence and human life that really fucked this franchise over.
this film is not great. its a definite decline in quality after 2 and was on the slippery slope downwards. it has some high points, primarily in Dr Loomis. Donald Pleasance is a better actor than most movies deserve and brings gravitas to a role that in the hands of a less capable actor would be laughable. his sincere plea to Michael at one point to just kill him instead of going after Jamie is honestly fucking tragic.
outside of that, the film isnt massively interesting. Michael himself isnt particularly threatening or engaging, and his mask looks like shit in this film. the characters in this film are largely very stupid, also, which doesnt help anything much.
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
if theres a Halloween movie people talk about the least, its this one. II has the sibling twist, III is the black sheep, 4 is the return, even 6 gets talked about for its troubled production history. no one has anything to say about Halloween 5. and thats mostly because there is fucking nothing to say about Halloween 5. it is a relentlessly fucking dull movie that pads out its 100 minute run time with endless unnecessary scenes of shit that does… nothing. this film is dull in a way that i find incredibly detestable. i cant even watch it through a haze of impassioned anger like i can with the also incredible dull Halloween II (2009). its just fucking boring. every single scene drags like its trying to walk on two broken legs. the plot is so bare bones its nonsensical. it constantly adds new characters and new elements but all that does is makes it more incoherent and confusing. watching this movie i literally found my fucking eyes glazing over in my skull. if this film was edited correctly it would be twenty minutes long. i cannot fucking emphasise enough how much of relentless slog it is. Halloween 4 was dull but even that had the lifeline of ‘some cool ideas’. Halloween 5 is nothing. Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water.
Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers
if Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water Halloween 6 is just a fresh hot glass of piss. there are two versions of Halloween 6, the director’s cut and the theatrical release, and both are wretched. this film went full ham with introducing the supernatural elements, telling us that Michael was his whole life psychically controlled by a pagan cult called the Cult of Thorne in order to make Halloween scary again or summon the devil or who fucking cares. this movie is fucking insufferably dull, totally absurd, and wildly unsympathetic. i loathe Halloween 6 and every terrible, stupid plot decision it makes. Paul Rudd defeats Michael Myers by drawing druid symbols on the ground and Michael just gives up and lies down. theres a baby that does nothing and serves no purpose. Halloween is apparently banned in Haddonfield, which makes this more closely related to Footloose than Halloween i think. this film takes itself incredibly seriously while spouting nothing but total fucking bullshit drivel and i dont believe that anyone involved in this movie, from the cast to the cameraman to the guy who served the lunch had any faith in this movie outside of the vague hope it might make money and i wish this movie had been burned at the stake. also i hate Paul Rudd.
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
oh thank fucking god finally some good fucking food. Halloween H20 took the decision to retcon all the sequels (except II) twenty years before Halloween 2018, proving that everyone knew 5 and 6 were fucking mistakes.
this film loses a lot of the Halloween feeling in favour of making a more generic late 1990s/early 2000s style horror. theres nothing particularly interesting about the way this movie is directed or shot, the music is largely very generic, it has a generally uninteresting glossy quality to it that studio movies always do. its very obvious this movie was inspired by Scream and it looks a lot more like Scream than it does Halloween. all of this makes me kind of sad, but other films in the franchise have proved that other directors generally are not capable of imitating Carpenter’s style so maybe its better they dont really try.
what H20 does so well, and the reason i love it so much, is that it explores the relationship between Michael and Laurie, which is something im endlessly fascinated with. this was the first movie to have Laurie shake off her fear and rise up against Michael, and while it doesnt do it with quite as much depth and intelligence as Halloween 2018, it still has a fucking good crack at Laurie’s character, and its still powerful watching her turn on the man who terrorised her for years. Michael is great in this movie too; while he has a terrible mask, watching him back on his shit as a furious force of nature who wants nothing more than to destroy anyone who gets in his way.
honestly i kind of enjoy having a Halloween in a different style; theres something fun about seeing characters recontextualised and done with justice and empathy. most of the Halloween sequels before this one (and after, looking at Resurrection) are shallow, unconcerned with any kind of emotional depth or personality. and while a lot of the stock filler characters in H20 who are lined up for the chopping block arent that interesting and dont particularly standout, watching Jamie Lee Curtis’ performance and seeing her interplay with Michael is enough. and most of the side characters arent particularly annoying, which is more than i can say for half this franchise.
this film also has what is one of my absolute favourite endings in a movie ever; the final confrontation between Michael and Laurie has a particular interaction between them that i absolutely adore and that alone is enough to make this movie one of my favourites.
H20 isnt perfect; it weirdly feels like a blueprint that Halloween 2018 would later refine into a better movie, but the idea its going to be completely disregarded for Halloween 2018 in the future makes me a little sad. in the face of so many fucking mediocre and awful Halloween sequels it did the right thing in trying to focus on what actually mattered; the connection between Michael and Laurie, although i dont feel like it succeeded in making Michael as scary as 2018 would much later. that said, the shot where Michael and Laurie just stare at each other through the glass of a window? that gives me chills every time. and hearing the Halloween theme kick in as Laurie marches off into the school with an axe looking for Michael is so fucking triumphant.
i love H20 even if Michael’s mask looks like his hair was dunked in a bucket of water and then gently blow-dried. i have no idea why it looks so fucking stupid in this movie. why is it so hard to get Michael’s mask right. you wouldnt think it was that fucking hard. anyway, i really fucking love Laurie Strode a lot, which didnt help to make Resurrection any easier to swallow.
Halloween: Resurrection
so whats the obvious thing to do after you have a movie where the power and emotion all comes from the emotional catharsis of seeing a woman get her vengeance on her tormentor? you, uh, make a sequel in which she is immediately defeated and pointlessly killed after its revealed her victory at the end of the previous film was entirely false, and then you never return to focus on her and instead introduce a horde of entirely uninteresting stock characters. yeah, makes sense.
Resurrection is fucking incredibly stupid, in the kind of fucking hysterical way only really bad horror movies can capture. theres absolutely nothing of Halloween in this other than the presence of Michael, who just as easily could have been replaced with anyone or anything. the story has a group of people on a reality show staying in the Myers house to… stay there? its not entirely clear what the challenge is meant to be, other than to just be inside the house, which i imagine gets to be pretty dull viewing pretty quickly. theres no suggestion theyre like, hunting for ghosts or something along those lines, theyre just… looking at stuff.
Michael slopes around this movie like he doesnt fucking understand where he is or whats going on, an entirely out of place relic of better times past while the cast cavorts around him doing nothing of interest and having no plots or characterisation to speak of. the film has exactly two or three funny moments, including the legendary ‘Michael Myers getting electrocuted in the dick by Busta Rhymes’, but youre way, way better off just looking that up on youtube instead of watching this movie. there is an hour of pointless plot development about characters no one cares about until Michael starts fucking killing people. this movie shouldnt exist and we should all go back to pretending it doesnt.
and thats it. thats all the halloween films. i can die now.
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Arplis - News: America, Reloading
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