#that rome will fall some time after the r-a line ends

[bookishjules]

so.. if julian ramírez-arellano was warned by bellona that rome would never fall so long as his bloodline remains.. and that bloodline is perpetuated by an amazon queen and an eternal maiden.. like idk about you but i cannot see hylla having kids, so it's really looking like the life of rome is reliant entirely on reyna's ability to survive in the hunt. and like girl's gonna die eventually.. so what happens then?

[lesserfandomappreciation]

Ariadne and why the Mycenaeans can fuck right off

Warning: Includes brief mentions of r*pe, cultural destruction, ancient patriarchy reminding us why no woman would ever time-travel more than 5 years into the past if that and a great deal of spite for male historians/public education history/mythology classes. 

Possible side effects may include a sudden intense rage for an ancient society equivalent to the innate rage one has for the Romans burning the library of Alexandria, a distinct hatred for ancient men not being able to let anyone have nice things, and a sudden fascination for Minoa. 

Usually, I stick to writing imagines and being happy with that. It’s fun! I love it! But every now and again, in an attempt to escape the crushing forces known as reality and responsibilities I’ll put on a few cutscenes from games I’m: A) Too lazy to play B) Too broke to play C) Too unskilled to play D) All of the above

because cutscenes are free and why torture yourself with impossible levels when its free on Youtube?* *In all seriousness please support video games and video game creators, but no shame to those of us who prefer cutscenes to gameplay.  A few weeks ago I added the game Hades made by Supergiant to the list because the cutscenes were bomb and the characters are so much fun! Intricate as all hell! Hella cute too but that’s unrelated! Now my pretty little simp patootie is especially a big fan of Dionysus and his gorgeous design so the cutscenes with him are my favorite.

I’m re-watching his cutscenes a few nights ago for fun as background when he has a certain line about Theseus. Don’t quote me on this since my memory is foggy at best but roughly it was: Dionysus: Good job with Theseus. Never cared much for him- what he did to that girl was just horrible.*

*I know that’s not his exact line but this is clearly a rant post fueled by spite and ADD-hyper-focused obsessions with ancient civilizations so let’s not worry too too much about the semantics here. 

Now, I like mythology! Personally, I prefer the Norse mythology due to the general lack of very very gross dynamics that several other ancient mythologies seem to include, but I’m decently familiar with Greek mythos. Enough to go - “Why does the God of Wine give a single fuck about the frat bro of Greek heroes being a dick to a woman? Grossness is embedded into the very DNA of all distant relatives of Zeus, a woman being harassed by Zeus or his bastard army is a typical Tuesday in ancient Greece.” 

Wikipedia confirms that Ariadne is the only woman in the story of Theseus and the Minotaur, which I kinda knew already so unless Theseus did some f’ed up shit to some other princess of Minos, Dionysus could only be referring to her. Disregarding what I know about Wikipedia and how it can suck you down the rabbit hole of rabbit holes through sheer fury I stupidly clicked the link to Ariadne’s article. 

By the time we get to the end of this shitstorm, I will have two separate plotlines for two separate stories based of Ariadne, 2k+ notes (and going) on an ancient civilization prior to a week ago I didn’t know existed and within me there will be a rage towards a different ancient civilization I vaguely recall learning about in high school. 

Here’s how this shit went down. 

First of all, apparently after Theseus abandoned Ariadne on an island to die (yep! He did that! To the one person who is the only reason he defeated the minotaur! Fuck this guy.) there are multiple storylines where Dionysus takes a single look at Ariadne and falls in love. 

“A god falls in love?” you say, aware of how most love stories in Greek mythos can be summed up with Unfortunately, Zeus got horny and Hera is a firm believer in victim blaming. “This poor woman is about to go through hell!” I thought so too! And in one variation of the story, Dionysus does his daddy proud by being an absolute tool to Ariadne. In the majority though? He woos the fuck out of her, and ultimately marries her by consent!

Her consent!

In ancient Greece!

The party dude of the Greek pantheon knows more about consent then his father and modern day frat brothers!

Okay! That’s interesting, so I keep reading. 

Ariadne getting hitched to Dionysus is a big deal in Olympus, to the point of getting a crown made of the Aurora Borealis from Aphrodite who is bro-fisting Dionysus, beyond glad she didn’t have to give him the talk about consent. The rest of the gods are pissy especially Hera who doesn’t like Dionysus much since he is the son of Zeus and Semele but they don’t do much. Ariadne ascends to godhood, becomes the goddess of Labyrinths with the snake and bull as her symbol and that’s that on that. 

Colorin, colorado, este cuento se acabado.  And they lived happily ever after. That’s the end of the post right?

NO! Because curiosity has made me their bitch and there’s more to this calling me. 

Also, I was pissed! Still am! Why the fuck-a-doodle-do did I have to learn about the time Poseidon r*ped a priestess instead of the arguably healthiest relationship in the entirety of the pantheon? Why is Persephone and Hades’ story (which has improved since it was first written and I like more modern versions of it, no hate) the only healthy-ish Greek love story I had to learn when Dionysus and Ariadne were right there? The rage of having endured several grade levels of “Zeus got horny and Hera found out” stories in the nightmare of public education led me to keep looking into this. 

There’s this wonderful Youtube channel called Overly Sarcastic Productions that I highly recommend that delves a lot into mythology, and I have seen their bombass video about Dionysus and how his godhood has changed since he was potentially first written in a language we comprehend. 

Did ya’ll know this man is the heir apparent to Zeus? ‘Cause I didn’t know that!

YEA! Dionysus, man of parties, king of hangovers and inducer of madness, is set to inherit the throne of Olympus! Ariadne didn’t husband up the God of Wine, she husbanded up the Prince of Olympus and heir apparent to the throne! Holy shit! No wonder some of the gods were against her marriage to Dionysus - can you imagine the drama of an ex-mortal woman sitting on the Queen’s throne of Olympus? Hera must have been pissed.

BUT WAIT.

There’s more.

The reason we know Dionysus is a very important god and is possibly even more important than we think is because of a handy-dandy language known as Linear B, otherwise known as the language of the Mycenaeans!

For those of you fortunate enough to have normal hobbies and interests, the Mycenaeans were the beta version of the Greeks. Their written language of Linear B is one of, if not the first recorded instance of a written Indo-European language. This language, having been translated, gives us an interesting look at what the Greek gods were like back in their beta-stages before they fixed the coding and released the pantheon. 

Interesting side facts of the Mycenaean Greek gods include:

Poseidon being the head god with an emphasis on his Earthquake aspect, and being much more of a cthonic god in general. 

Take that Zeus, for being so gross. 

The gods in general being more cthonic, as Mycenaeans were obsessed with cthonic gods (probably due to all the earthquakes and natural disasters in Greece and Crete at that time)

Several of the gods and goddesses that we know being listed, alongside some that we don’t consider as important (Dione)

The first mention of Kore, later Persephone, but no Hades because since a lot of gods were cthonic, there would be no need for one, specific cthonic god to represent the majority of death-related rituals.

That’s not what we’re focusing on though! What we’re focusing on is a specific translated portion of Linear B that we have. One of the translated portions of Linear B that for the life of me I can’t find (someone please help me find it and send the link so I can edit this post) says an interesting phrase. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”

One more time. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”

Mistress of Labyrinths. 

Now wait a gosh darn minute. Isn’t there a goddess of labyrinths in the Greek mythos? Why yes! Yes there is! Ariadne!

Here’s a question for you. If Ariadne is but a minor god in the pantheon, a wife to a more predominant god, why is it that while all the other gods and goddesses are bunched together in a sentence of praise, the so-called ex-mortal gets a whole-ass sentence to herself singing praises?

And thus, we have arrived to Minoa!

What is Minoa, you ask? Minoa is to Rome what Rome is to us. An old-ass civilization either older than or younger by a hundred years to ancient Egypt. Egypt, that started in 3200 B.C-ish depending on who you ask. That’s old. Old as balls. They were contemporaries to their trading partner, Egypt until 1450 BC-ish. A 2000 year old civilization.

Minoa was founded on the island of Crete, and was by what artifacts we have found a merchant civilization with its central economy centered on the cultivation of saffron and the development of bronze/iron statues of bulls. Most of what we know about them comes from artifacts and frescoes found on Crete that managed to survive everything else I will mention later, but what matters is that we know a few things about them. 

Obsessed with marine life for some time, given their pottery. 

Had the first palaces in all of Europe, some of them ridiculously big. 

Wrote in Linear A and Cretan Hieroglyphs, both still untranslated languages. 

Had a ritual involving jumping over a bull, for some reason. 

Firm believers in “Suns out, Tits out.”

You’d think I’m kidding on the last one but no! No no no! All the women apparently rocked the tits-out look in Minoa!

^^^^One of many, many Minoan works featuring women giving their titties fresh air. ^^^^

“Wait a second Pinks! What does this have to do with Ariadne being the Mistress of labyrinths?”

Well you see dear wonderful darling, while we know very little about Minoan religion because Mycenaeans (we will get to those bastards in a second), we do know this:

All the religious figures appear to be exclusively women.

The most important figures of their religion seem to be goddesses as there are few artifacts featuring male gods.

Because of the religion, the culture may have been an equal society or even a matriarchy! Historians who are male aren’t sure. 

A frankly ridiculous amount of their temples, including the ones in caves in the middle of fuck-all feature labyrinths. A lot of labyrinths!

Their head god is a goddess! Whose temples have labyrinths and whose main symbols are snakes and bulls. Who do we know is a) the mistress of labyrinths and b) is symbolized a lot by snakes and bulls?

ARI-fucking-ADNE THAT’S WHO!

Ariadne didn’t upgrade by marrying the prince of Olympus! Dionysus wifed up possibly the most important goddess in all of Crete and becoming her boy-toy! 

I’m not even kidding, most Minoan depictions of the goddess’ consort features a boy/man who cycles through the stages of death. Dionysus himself in several myths goes through the same cycle - life, being crushed, death, rebirth, repeat.  Cycles the consort goes through in Minoan legend depictions too!

Okay, that’s great, but what does that have to do with the Mycenaeans? Why do you want to single-handedly go back in time and strangle the beta-Greeks with the nearest belt?

Everything I just said about Ariadne being a Minoan goddess, the Mistress of Labyrinths being hella important on Minoa, is all theoretical. The Mycenaeans are partially to blame for making it theoretical. 

Minoa thrived for 2000 years but it had a lot of issues, mostly caused by natural disasters. Towards the end of their civilization (1500 BC-ish), the nearby island of Thera, today known as Santorini, decided to blow up. The island was a hella-active volcano that when erupted, destroyed a lot. 

How big was the eruption? Well when Pompeii was wasted by Mt. Vesuvius, the blast was heard from roughly 120 miles away, 200 km. 

The blast on Thera was heard from 3000 miles away. 4800 km away.

Fuck me, the environmental effects of the explosion were felt in imperialistic CHINA.

Holy shit that would waste anybody! And it did! Minoa went from being a powerhouse in the Mediterranean to scrambling to recover from losing 40,000 citizens and who knows how many cities. Tsunamis may have followed the blast, further destroying ports which for a navy-powerhouse of an island nation is a bad thing and the theorized temperature drops caused by a cloud of ash lingering for a while would have destroyed crops for the year.

Minoa was fucked. 

The Mycenaeans and all their bullshit made it worse.

Up until a few hundred years prior to Thera’s explosion, Minoan artifacts don’t depict much in terms of military power. Why would it? Crete is a natural defense post. Sheer cliffs, high mountains and a few semi-fortified areas would make it pointless to invade. It’s only when the Mycenaeans in all their bullshit decided to attack/compete that Minoa really needed any army to speak of.

Guess who decided to invade while Minoa was reeling from an incredibly shitty year? Mycenaea!

Guess who won?

Also Mycenaea!

Nobody knows how this shit went down though because wouldn’t you know it, the Mycenaeans in all their superiority-complex glory decided to destroy most written accounts about Minoa, a good junk of the temples and culturally eliminated most of Minoan beliefs. 

Minoa isn’t even the real name of the civilization! It’s just the name Arthur Evans, the guy who re-motivate interest in Minoan archaeology, gave to the civilization because the writings that would have included the name of the civilization were destroyed.

“That sucks!” Fuck yes that sucks! “What does that have to do with Ariadne though?”

Oh ho ho. Strap in because you’re about to be pissed. 

Those of us unfortunate enough to be aware of all the bullshit the Christians pulled on the European pagan belief system are familiar with the concept of cultural, religious destruction. There’s a special name for it I don’t know but if I did I would curse it to be absorbed by the horrendous will of fungi. 

An example: Christianity was not the most popular of religions amongst the Vikings. A monotheistic religion that is heavily controlled did not strongly appeal to anyone with a pantheon as rad as the Norse one. 

In order to appeal to the Vikings, what monks would do is they would write down traditionally Viking stories which up until that point were orally passed down. Beowulf, the story of the most Viking Viking to have every Vikinged, was one of these first stories. 

However! Did these monks write Beowulf as closely to the original oral transcript as possible? Of course not! They took liberties! While Norse features such as trolls and dragons and all sorts of Norse magic occur, there is a lot of Christian features added in. 

This happened across all Pagan religions that Christianity came into contact with in Europe. Stories would be altered when written down to be more Christian (this happened to the Greek Pantheon too btw), holidays that were Pagan magically lined up with ones the Vatican just happened to suddenly have. Even names of mythological figures were taken and added onto Christian figure names. Consequently, a lot of pagan religions they did this to got erased over time, with many of their traditions and details being lost forever, and the details we do know being tinted by Christianity.

The Mycenaeans were likely no different. 

Minoa and Mycenaea were as culturally opposite as can be. Minoa is theorized to be a matriarchal or equal society*. Mycenaea and most of early Greece absolutely was not. In fact, during early stages of their religion where they believed in reincarnation, the Mycenaeans believed the worst thing to come back as was a woman. 

Did you get that? With your options ranging from man to ever single animal on Earth, a woman was ranked as beneath literal animals in Mycenaean society.

Fuck the Mycenaeans.

* This is not to say Minoa was without fault, as a society that is matriarchal or equal can still have rampant issues such as privilege, classism, racism, sexism and more, but when history has a shortage of civilizations that didn’t treat women like shit, you find yourself rooting for them more. 

 What do you do then, when you take over a society that is very much the opposite of a nightmare of a patriarchy? You fold their beliefs into your own to bait them into yours. Going back to the Linear B line about “Mistress of Labyrinths” that line would/could have been an early tactic of incorporating Minoan belief into Mycenaean belief. Other goddesses and gods were made into aspects of Mycenaean gods. Bristomartis, the Minoan goddess of the hunt, would become Artmeis. Velchanos, a god of the sky, would become Zeus. 

With more time, the religion shifted more into Mycenaean and eventually into ancient Greece as we know it. Through trade other gods and goddesses would continue to shift and change, some being straight up imported (Aphrodite for example). Dionysus himself changed a lot too, going from a God representing freedom and attracting slaves, women and those with limited power into his cult, to a God of parties for the wealthy. 

Theseus and the Minotaur was a myth likely based on a Mycenaean myth based on a Minoan myth that changes Ariadne from an important, possibly the important goddess of an ancient religion and relegates her to a side character in a pantheon so vast that she would be lost within it. 

All of this brings us to today. Today, where as soon as work ended I spent most of the day, as well as the past two days, looking up everything I can on Minoan civilization and added it to my notes. Spite is fueling me to write two possible different stories for two different fandoms where Minoa dunks of Mycenaea and it is giving me life. Expect an update within the next two weeks folks as I lose control of my writing life once more. 

In summary: Ariadne deserves more respect, fuck the public education system for skipping over the good parts of Greek mythology instead of the r*pey as shit parts, the Mycenaeans can eat my shorts, and a world were Minoa became the predominant power instead of Greece would be an amazing world to live in.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Pink out. 

[manet-boleyn]

How I would change The Tudor seasons

Hello! I am making this post since I wished there were much more seasons of The Tudor to flesh out characters and not rush through the reigns of the queens. All of these seaosn will have 10 episodes, just like how 3 out of the 4 seasons in this show had 10 episodes. 

SEASON 1 (1485-1509)

Introduce baby Katherine of Aragon, baby Prince Arthur, Baby Margaret, Baby Mary, and Baby Henry. This season will be focused on Katherine growing up and marrying Arthur (that is how the first or second episode will cover) and it goes up until when Henry and Katherine are crowned. Something like the Spanish Princess. Show baby Boleyns and how they grow up as little kids! But make them background characters. overtime, make Margaret show up less and less after she becomes Queen of Scotland. Also show Jane Seymour being born. 

SEASON 2 (1509-1522)

Show the struggles of Katherine is having with making a male heir while Henry keeps reminded her that the Tudor dynasty is still new. Show Mary Tudor marrying Charles Brandon and how he gets his titles Don’t show him too much tho.Show Mary and Anne Boleyn is French court, and how Anne flourishes. Do a sneak peak of a baby being born here and there, for Kateryn Parr and Anna von Kleve. Oh, and Mary I also. Show the affair of Bessie Blount in this season. Give much more friendship times with More and Henry also. The season ends when Anne Boleyn arrives at English court.

SEASON 3 (1523-1532)

Overall, something like the 1st season of The Tudors a bit. The first episode shows the affair of Henry VIII and Mary Boleyn and the love of Henry Percy and Anne Boleyn and both ending at the same time. It ends with Katherine of Aragon forced to leave court, and how Henry’s sister Mary trying to keep her sister-in-law in power and how Queen Margaret of Scotland wants Anne be queen. Show the first marriage of Kateryn Parr a bit and show when Katheryn Howard is being born. You can include Anne Boleyn knowing about this, saying that “child wont go anywhere in life” since Katheryn is so low on the noble status. This is foreshadowing. Show bits of Anna von Kleve of getting a betroth of the man. he main focus will be Anne Boleyn though as she becomes Henry’s lover and they wish to be married. Kill off Wolsey too and watch Thomas Cromwell come into power. Now Thomas Tallis also I hate him. 

SEASON 4 (1532-1536)

The main story will just be like the main story line of the original Season 2, since I feel like it is the best season out of the four. Things I will change is to introduce Jane Seymour much earlier in the season, with her struggle how she wants Lady Mary Tudor in the line of succession and her issues of breaking from Rome and how she becomes queen consort. Kill off Duchess Lady Mary Tudor Brandon, and possibly her last words can curse how much she hates Anne Boleyn. cough, foreshadowing. Show bits of Katheryn Howard as a teen and the predatory nature of her music teacher, so we can gain some sympathy for her since she is shown a dis-likable character in the show. Start to show more of Lady Mary Tudor a bit more too. Show the marriage of John Neville and Kateryn Parr and how Kateryn is good with his children, showing that she can make a great mother to stepchildren. The end of the season would be almost the exactly like the last episode of Season 2, since that is one the the best episodes. 

SEASON 5 (1536- 1540)

This is around the time of the original Season 3, which was the most boring season, so there is a lot of changes to this one. Jane Seymour will be shown more in this season, because I think many people view her as boring and I want to show her the sides of her that aren’t really shown. Show her as being more gentle and somewhat trying to get Lady Mary in the line of succession. Her struggles of not getting pregnant immediately should be shown more, as she is constantly reminded what happened to the last queen. The main focus however will be Thomas Cromwell. He starts to feel a bit guilty of what happened to Anne Boleyn because inside he knows they were innocent, however he had to serve his king either way. Season 3 only had 8 episodes, yet this one will have the standard 10 to flesh things out. It will show Cromwell’s positions in the monasteries and Aske’s rebellion. Kateryn Parr is shown to be nervous about this. When Jane is finally pregnant, her anxiety gets worse as she does not know if it will be a boy or girl. I want the viewers to know that at this point it is very stressful of Jane. Show the predatory nature of Francis Dereham to Katheryn Howard also and how it is r*pe, not a love affair like it is shown in The Tudors. Jane dies in the fourth episode and now Thomas Cromwell has to fond a new task, to find a queen for Henry VIII, who is so protective over his baby son. He wants to find a woman that would not be beheaded just like Anne Boleyn, since his guilt is piling up more and more. Soon, he chooses Anna von Kleve, who throughout the season is shown not to know sex education. At the end of the season, it is Henry screaming, “I like her not!” and it shows Cromwell’s worried face, touching his neck and the episode ends. 

SEASON 6 (1540-1542)

This season will show the reigns of Anna von Kleve and Katheryn Howard. The main focus will be on Cromwell still, as he tries to make Anna do anything to keep his head. However, Anna still does not understand and wishes to also divorce Henry VIII. Show Anna interacting with Henry’s kids, and have a flashback to Henry’s sister Mary, showing Henry is reminded of his sister from her. For Katheryn Howard, I am very unsure. If it is like the original show how she is claimed to be a “prostitute” by Brandon and someone else, then I would just say since all of this predatory experience from a young age, she thinks the only purpose she has is to be a sexual object for a man, which makes her story sadder. Or she can just go by the history of how she just comes to court and Henry VIII, who is now aging and weighing more, can see her. At the end of Anna’s reign as queen, Cromwell is imprisoned and the night before his head gets chopped off, he thinks about Anne Boleyn and says, “you got the last laugh”. When Katheryn and Henry marry, someone tells Henry about the gruesome death of Cromwell and Katheryn can secretly think, that’s what he gets for killing my cousin. Anna and Henry do not have sex at all, yet remain good friends. Anyway Henry treats Katheryn like an object until Culpepper meets her and actually treat her like a person,only to trick her for sexual purposes only. Everyone hears and she gets executed. This makes her a tragic character and much more realistic way. The season can end with that, or Anna saying how she is lucky she was not the second beheaded of the wives.

SEASON 7 (1542-1547) 

The season starts off with Kateryn Parr loosing her second husband and getting to know Thomas Seymour and falling in love with him. However she is quickly noticed by an again Henry, and has to be his sixth wife and also hiding her faith. Anna von Kleve visits regularly throughout the season too. Henry goes to war and Kateryn Parr has to watch over the children. Once again like Jane, Kateryn is very frightened to be beheaded and Anna tries to calm her down, saying everything will be alright. However, Gardner starts to find that Kateryn is a Protestant and he tries to show that to Henry VIII. he kills Anne Askew too. Kateryn is shaking in her boots now and Henry starts to hear these claims and almost arrests her. However, she is lucky and tells him how thankful she is that he is teaching her his ways of religion. Henry becomes more sick and Kateryn becomes somewhat of a nurse for him. Charles Brandon dies and Henry starts seeing visions of he people that he killed or died throughout his life. The season ends just like how the show ends, but Anna von Kleve is there. 

This is how I will change it! I might do even smaller portions focusing on each season on my take of what The Tudors should of done. what are your thoughts?

[tigerkirby215]

5e Xayah, the Rebel build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

Holy shit they actually just flip the artwork. No this is genuinely Xayah’s “official” artwork it’s just a flip of Rakan’s...

So uh I had this build prepared back in August... and then I forgot it. Luckily I did write it down! See? I’m smarter than Rakan!

Honestly I’m quite thankful for Tasha’s coming out because it made my Xayah build a lot better. So I’m happy that I’m publishing it now in February instead of back in August when I made the first draft. A lot of things get better with age and love’s also one of them~ 💓

GOALS

Dodging seems to be a weak spot of yours - Sick of only hitting one enemy at a time? Make some Clean Cuts to strike behind your enemy. That’s what’s known as efficiency!

Move your feet, or lose some toes - Ever tripped on a feather? How about having your heels slashed?

A thousand cuts is only the beginning - In case of emergency push R button to dodge damage, and send a ton of feathers at your foes!

RACE

Xayah is half bird, but her taunt flat out shows she can’t fly which leaves Aarakocra out of the picture. She’s also very chatty (holy shit have you seen how many voice lines Xayah and Rakan have?) so Kenku is definitely not an option. So when in Rome as a furry look no further than a Shifter.

All Shifters have Darkvision and their Shifting ability to gain temporary hitpoints, but everything else is determined by their subrace: you’re the girl with the plan for the hunt. The Wildhunt that is! Your Wisdom increases by 2 and your Dexterity increases by 1. You’re a Natural Tracker with proficiency in Survival. And your Shifting Feature will let you become one with nature for advantage on Wisdom checks, and you can up your dodging game so no enemy can hit you with advantage.

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - You’re a marksman. That means attacking with a ranged weapon, which takes nimbleness.

14; WISDOM - Wisdom will let you connect with the natural magic of the world. Most literally as you’re going to be using Wisdom to cast spells!

13; INTELLIGENCE - You’re the one with the plan.

12; CONSTITUTION - Ha ha ADC health bar go brrrr, but even if Xay is squishy in LoL that doesn’t mean we can’t grab Grasp for a bit more health.

10; CHARISMA - Xayah has a degree of rough charm to her. But I mean hey: you got Rakan to fall for you?

8; STRENGTH - As much muscle as dancing takes you don’t need it to cut through your foes.

BACKGROUND

You’re a freedom fighter. A rebel with a cause fighting as a Faction Agent for the Vastayan cause. You get proficiency in Insight along with any Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma ability. For a dance under the moonlight with Rakan get Performance proficiency: it takes two to tango after all! You also get proficiency in two languages: unfortunately Aarakocra isn’t an option but Auran (or rather Primordial) will serve well to speak the Vastayan-bird language. And to learn the ancient language of Ionia I’d recommend Sylvan.

As a vastayan rebel you can gain access to a Safe Haven for you and your allies. By using secret signs and passwords you can identify other rebels who can bring you to a safe house, give you a free place to stay, or assist you in finding information. They won’t risk their lives for you but as long as you remember the password they’ll be willing to help. Be sure to remember the password by the way. Because Rakan definitely won’t.

(Artwork by XhiliaJP on DeviantArt)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - FIGHTER 1

Starting off as a Fighter for a few things known as saving throws, but also for skills like Acrobatics and Perception to see incoming skill shots and dodge them with grace. You also get Second Wind to heal for a d10 plus your Fighter level for some health pots in lane.

Your main choice as a Fighter at early levels is your Fighting Style and we’ll be grabbing a Bladecaller root very early thanks to Superior Technique from Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything. You learn a Battle Master Maneuver from the Battle Master subclass: we’ll be going for Trip Attack to hinder enemy movement. You then get a d6 Maneuver die to use on Trip Attack, and nothing else because spoilers: we won’t be getting other maneuvers.

LEVEL 2 - FIGHTER 2

Second level Fighters get their Action Surge, allowing them to take two actions in a turn instead of 1. For now that only means two attacks. For now.

LEVEL 3 - FIGHTER 3

Third level Fighters get to choose their Martial Archetype and to channel some magic into your “blades” (read: arrows, because you should be using a longbow) go for the magic of the Arcane Archer. Arcane Archer Lore will give you proficiency in Arcana or Nature (we’re actually going to be going for Arcana) as well as either the Prestigiation or Druidcraft cantrip (naturally as a naturalist we’ll be going for Druidcraft.)

"How can humans not hear the magic?"

"They're too busy building things."

"Why?"

"Because... they're afraid."

Of course the main feature of the Arcane Archer is their Arcane Shot. Once per turn when you fire an arrow from a bow, you can apply one of your Arcane Shots to that arrow. You decide to use the option when the arrow hits a creature, unless the option doesn’t involve an attack roll. You have two uses of Arcane Shot that come back after a Short or Long rest.

Let’s talk about your Arcane Shots then, hm? To root your foe (sorta) Grasping Arrow does an extra 2d6 Poison damage and lowers the target’s movement speed by 10. Additionally if they try to move without Flash (or other means of teleportation) they’ll take an extra 2d6 slashing damage. The target can use its action to remove the brambles with a successful Athletics check against your Arcane Shot save DC, or ask their support to do it for them. Otherwise, the brambles last for 1 minute or until you use this option again.

Piercing Arrow meanwhile doesn’t require an attack roll. Instead you target all enemies in a 30 foot line and force them to make a Dexterity save. On a failed save they take damage as if they were shot by the bow, along with an extra d6 of piercing. On a successful save however they only take half, but realistically if you’re hitting 3 or more people with this arrow it’s still worth it even if you miss.

(Artist unknown. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 4 - RANGER 1

Feel free to take one more level in Fighter for an ASI but I’m going to go to Ranger now and grab Nature proficiency from the class, which is why we took Arcana earlier!

Also thank god Tasha’s is out because instead of the meme known as Natural Explorer we get Deft Explorer. Canny gives you Expertise in one of your skills (I personally opted for Acrobatics to evade any Shadow Assassins who may try to kill you, but honestly any one of your skills make sense for Expertise so feel free to pick whatever you think will be useful) and two language proficiencies of your choice. (Choose whatever you think will help your cause.)

But the more interesting feature is Favored Foe. When you hit an enemy you can choose to mark them to make your feathers just a little more sharp. The first time on each of your turns that you hit the marked target and deal damage to it (including when you first mark it) you can do an extra d4 of damage to them.

The bond lasts for 1 minute unless you get hit hard enough to lose your concentration because yes: this feature takes your concentration for some reason which is why we went into Fighter first for proficiency in Constitution saves. You can use the mark a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

LEVEL 5 - RANGER 2

Second level Rangers get their Fighting Style, and since we didn’t take Archery from Fighter we’ll instead be taking it here.

But more importantly you get Spellcasting. You can learn two spells from the Ranger list: to keep enemies in place with Bladecaller take Ensnaring Strike. Alternatively if you want to increase your evasion with your Deadly Plumage Zephyr Strike will make it so enemies can’t make attacks of opportunity against you, and you can end the spell’s effects to do more damage with an attack and then increase your movement speed afterwards.

LEVEL 6 - RANGER 3

Third level Rangers get to choose their Ranger Archetype, and with Tasha’s Cauldron out we have an explanation for Xayah’s Deadly Plumage. Why, it’s a swarm of feathers of course! Xayah’s a Swarmkeeper! After hitting an enemy you can use your Gathered Swarm for a variety of different effects. You can do an extra d6 of piercing damage, force a Strength save or be pushed up to 15 feet horizontally in a direction of your choice, or you can move yourself 5 feet horizontally in a direction of your choice.

You also get Swarmkeeper Magic for a variety of spells. For one you get Mage Hand, and you also get Faerie Fire to light up all your enemies’ weak points. You can also learn another spell like Hail of Thorns for Clean Cuts through any foes who may be bunched up.

And to top it off you get Primal Awareness for a few extra spells. You learn the Speak with Animals spell, and cast it once per Long Rest without spending a spell slot.

LEVEL 7 - RANGER 4

4th level Rangers get an Ability Score Improvement. Increase your Intelligence by 1 and your Dexterity by 1, because why not replace one uneven ability score with another? "And an F, for effort."

LEVEL 8 - RANGER 5

5th level Rangers get an Extra Attack. Two attacks per round for a bit more attack speed.

You also get access to second level spells, and from your Swarmkeeper Magic you get the Web spell, which perhaps isn’t too fitting but you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Additionally Primal Awareness adds Beast Sense to your spell list, and lets you cast it without spending a spell slot. Perhaps not the most useful spell, but as Xayah would say: "Spiders are my spirit animal." And finally you can learn another spell too like Lesser Restoration for some QSS in case of emergency.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 9 - RANGER 6

6th level Rangers see their Favored Foe damage increase to a d6. Additionally they get Roving from Deft Explorer for 5 additional moving speed and some help with swimming and climbing.

LEVEL 10 - RANGER 7

7th level Rangers can at least try to fly thanks to Writhing Tide. As a bonus action you gain a flying speed of 10 feet and can hover. The effect lasts for 1 minute or until you are incapacitated. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest. It perhaps isn’t the most useful thing for mobility but it’s good to use your feathers to get the perfect angle on your foes, or to keep away from melee bruisers looking to slice your chicken.

You can also learn another spell at this level like Enhance Ability, for a boost to give 120% when you need it.

LEVEL 11 - RANGER 8

8th level Rangers get another Ability Score Improvement: to maximize the deadliness of your plumage take the Piercer feat from Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything. Along with a +1 increase to your Dexterity you can also reroll one attack roll that did piercing damage (your longbow does piercing damage) to hopefully turn a low roll into a high roll. But to top it off when you score a critical hit (that deals piercing damage) you can roll one additional damage die when determining the extra piercing damage the target takes. Any ADC can attack an enemy but Clean Cuts is what lets Xayah stand out from the crowd.

LEVEL 12 - RANGER 9

9th level Rangers get more spells. From Primal Awareness you get Speak with Plants, to understand why the land of Ionia is upset at the humans. You can also grab Conjure Barrage for a Featherstorm to cut down a full crowd. But if you want to evade with Featherstorm your Swarmkeeper Magic grants you the Gaseous Form spell, to become untargetable (to an extent) and still be able to move and dodge (to an extent.)

(Artwork by SplashBrush on DeviantArt. It’s considerably easier to find artwork of Xayah than it is to find artwork of Rakan :c)

LEVEL 13 - FIGHTER 4

Back to good ol’ Fighter to pick up that ASI I ignored. +2 to Dexterity? That’ll max out your hit chance and attack damage!

LEVEL 14 - FIGHTER 5

5th level Fighters get an Extra Attack... which you already have. "I can't even... I don't know where to begin."

LEVEL 15 - FIGHTER 6

6th level Fighters get more Ability Score Improvements! Since your Dexterity is maxed out you can choose to increase either your Wisdom for better Ranger spells or your Intelligence for better Fighter Arcane Shots. Pick whatever suits your fancy but remember that your Arcane Shots come back on a Short Rest while your Ranger spells are restricted by Long Rests.

LEVEL 16 - FIGHTER 7

Do you have a Magic Weapon? Well you do now! 7th level Rangers get Magic Arrow, which makes their shots magical for the sake of overcoming resistances and immunity. Is total level 16 way too late to be getting this? Yeah probably.

Good thing you also get Curving Shot! If you miss an attack you can redirect it with Clean Cuts, spending a Bonus Action to roll an attack on a different enemy within 60 feet of the original target. And to top it off you get another Arcane Shot option: Seeking Arrow is a good way to target backline enemies, but it’s also really useful to deal with any invisible foes. "Did they deserve it?" "They deserved it."

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 17 - FIGHTER 8

8 is the magic number for more ASIs. Intelligence is nice; so is Wisdom. Increase what you want.

LEVEL 18 - FIGHTER 9

9th level Rangers can pick up Mercurial Scimitar and get out of CC with Indomitable. If you fail a saving throw, you can reroll it! But it’s only once per Long Rest. Note that you can reroll death saves, so don’t die or that would make Rakan sad.

LEVEL 19 - FIGHTER 10

10th level Fighters get another Arcane Shot option. Yup that’s literally it. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, I guess. Regardless this late into the game some CC would probably be good, so take Banishing Arrow.

LEVEL 20 - FIGHTER 11

Our capstone is the 11th level of Fighter for an Extra Attack that does stack, giving us three total! Cap off that attack speed to slice through foes like butter! "I love watching you kill." "I love killing for you." "Let's make out."

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Hurray; they all died - You’re really good at Fighting, almost like you multiclassed Fighter with a half-Fighter. You’re incredibly precise with a +13 to hit with your longbow and have plenty of tools to increase your overall DPS.

What? They were in my way - You’ve also got plenty of tricks up your sleeve. Arcane Shots, one use of Trip Attack, Gathered Swarm shenanigans, and plenty of dangerous utility spells.

Oops, your bad! - You’ve got quite a few aces up your sleeve to stop you from being blown up. Higher than average movement thanks to being a Ranger, and your Swarmkeeper abilities lets you increase your movement. Not to mention utility spells like Gaseous Form. And you also have two different ways to boost your health (Second Wind + Shifting), 17 AC with Studded Leather... oh and did I mention you have +17 in Acrobatics?

CONS

Can I just hate you to death? - You’ve got limited resources on top of limited resources on top of limited resources. Two Arcane Shots per Short Rest, spell slots that are limited by Long Rests, healing and temp HP that’s tied to a Short Rest... Be sure to ration out your abilities so you don’t run out when you need them most.

Chaos is the preferred state of nature - All your saving throws are rather mediocre, notably your Charisma which is a nice flat +0. Rakan’s the talker, but a beautiful smile will keep you out of any banishing spells.

Magic is not some river - So it turns out multiclassing two sorta-casters means that you can’t focus on either stat. If you can easily get a 19 in Intelligence (such as with a Hextech Headband) perhaps focus on Wisdom. If not? Well Point Buy is an option.

But if you were perfect why would you need Rakan? He’s there to pick up your slack, and you’re there to make sure he doesn’t screw up. Dance along with him and cut down anyone who stands in your way. There’s nothing you can’t defeat with the power of love... But a good plan is also helpful, so make sure Rakan actually remembers it this time.

"Hey, I have a plan."

"You... have a plan?"

"Yeah! I'll go on instinct!"

"That's the opposite of a plan."

(Artwork by Riot Games)

[sineala]

The Old Guard

This post comes to you courtesy of the generous support of one of my Patreon patrons, who wanted to know what I thought of The Old Guard. This post contains some spoilers for both the movie and the comics.

So, a few days after it came out, my wife and I watched The Old Guard on Netflix. Tumblr had said a bunch of good things about it, and both of us basically cut our fannish teeth on Highlander fandom so we already had an automatic buy-in for a story about immortals. I knew it was based on a comic by Greg Rucka, but I had not, at the time, read the comic, although I am now reading it in order to write this post.

The premise of the film is as follows: a four-person team of immortals (Andy, Joe, Nicky, and Booker) makes a living hiring themselves out as mercenaries, fighting for causes that they believe are right. They are successful at this basically because their grasp of tactics appears to be (1) die, followed by (2) come back to life and (3) murder your attackers who are no longer paying attention to you because they think you're dead. Honestly, at this point, you wouldn't really need to be very good at the actual fighting part, I would think, but the film establishes that all of them are -- especially Charlize Theron as Andy -- because presumably it wants you to watch action sequences of everyone being badass, which they are. So, yeah. They take all the good-guy mercenary jobs that no one else can do because it would kill them, which is not a problem for them!

Anyway! The group's routine is interrupted by two major events: the discovery of Nile Freeman, a new immortal, who is a Marine serving in Afghanistan who survives getting murdered; and also the fact that one of their employers, Copley (played by Chiwetel Eijofor, whom you may remember as Mordo in Doctor Strange) has sold them out to the movie's Actual Villain, a Big Pharma CEO named Merrick (played by the guy who played Dudley in the Harry Potter series), who has (as far as I can tell) been given instructions to play this role just like he's Martin Shkreli, who is interested in finding the secret of their immortality, and whom you can tell is evil because he has his name in giant letters on the side of his building.

ME: Look, it's the villain! I've found the villain! MY WIFE: Other than Tony Stark, who actually puts their names on buildings like that except villains? It's just villains, right? ME: Uh. The president? The president definitely does that. (We make horrified faces at each other.)

Because we are Extremely Pedantic, we also spent a lot of time picking at how the characters' names and language abilities match up to their stated background. They all know a lot of languages, as you might expect, and the movie was determined to get through them without subtitles, which is an interesting choice but also kind of left some linguistic plot holes.

For example, Joe and Nicky claim to have met each other in the Crusades, with Nicky as (presumably) a Crusader and Joe as (presumably) a Muslim occupant of the area, although the movie doesn't specify this; Wikipedia gives Joe's name as Yusuf Al-Kaysani, which would at least fit that. Nicky is clearly Italian (as is Luca Marinelli, the actor who portrays him) and when he speaks Italian to the rest of the group we see that he definitely speaks modern Italian as spoken in Rome... which is absolutely, definitely not the language he grew up speaking, given that, among other things, Wiki lists the character's full name as Nicolò di Genova. I don't know if the writer of the screenplay (who I see now is also Greg Rucka) didn't know how much Italian dialects had changed in the last thousand years, if he thought that was good enough to be a nod to the character, or if there's some kind of backstory that didn't make it in where every so often Nicky decides to learn a modern dialect and keep his hand in, and also decides that that's the language he wants to use among his friends who would presumably understand several different dialects.

Also, the reveal that Andy's real name was in fact "Andromache of Scythia" was indeed badass but was slightly undercut by my wife yelling BUT THE SCYTHIANS DIDN'T SPEAK GREEK at the television.

Additionally, I feel like the movie could perhaps have been aware of the ways it chose to label on-screen locations, in which the countries were spelled out in large fonts with the cities above them. Places like LONDON, ENGLAND got their entire names spelled out, as did small French villages whose names I can no longer remember, but I guess AFGHANISTAN and MOROCCO and SOUTH SUDAN have zero cities, huh? However, the end of the movie did take place in PARIS which I guess unlike London is its own country now.

So the actual plot features the group of immortals trying to explain this whole immortality thing to Nile while being on the run from the people who are trying to turn them into Big Pharma, who wants to capture them and exploit the secret of their immortality. This is where it falls down a little for me, because the worldbuilding... gets a little shaky. They dream about each other when they're apart. Okay. Why? Sometimes they just stop being immortal and lose the capacity to heal and are dead in their next battle. Why? Why do they even exist? I just... wanted more answers than the movie gave me, and the pacing where I kept expecting there to be explanations wasn't there. There were a couple of scenes where Nile sat there in silence contemplating the fact that she would outlive her loved ones and my brain kept trying to insert Queen's "Who Wants to Live Forever?" Granted, the Highlander canon explanation for immortality is deeply, deeply weird, but at least it tried. No, I can't believe I'm defending Highlander II either.

The characters, too, could have been more fleshed out. The bulk of the character development is given to Andy and Nile, and I'm not complaining about that -- they were great -- but Joe and Nicky and Booker only got maybe a few lines each. They would have felt so much more real if they'd just had a little bit more to them. Also I didn't understand Copley's arc at all, but saying more about that would be spoilery. I do like that they have definitely set themselves up for a sequel.

But even with what we got, there's a lot to love about the characters. If you're here for canonically queer characters, you will enjoy Nicky and Joe, who have been in a relationship for probably about a thousand years. They are minor characters as far as the overall plot goes, but what they do have is lovely, and there is a romantic declaration between them at one point that is absolutely beautiful and possibly the most fervent love declaration I can remember seeing in a movie since maybe... ever. If you also like your queerness more subtextual, though Andy is never portrayed as explicitly queer, her past friendship with a fellow immortal Quynh was shown as very intense, as is the role she takes here mentoring Nile into the world of immortality. Also she has a double-bladed axe (yes, we kept yelling BRING ME MY MAN-KILLING AXE at the television) and as we all know, the double-bladed labrys has in modern times become a symbol for lesbians. So there's that.

In addition to the characters of color who play important roles here -- Nile was my personal favorite, but there's also Joe and Copley and (in flashback) Quynh -- there's a lot of diversity behind the cameras as well, or so the internet informs me. The director (Gina Prince-Bythewood) is the first Black woman to direct a superhero movie, and the same is true of her editor (Terilyn Shropshire). And, furthermore, apparently 85% of the post-production crew were women. They didn't have to do that, and yet they did. It was nice.

I don't watch a whole lot of action movies these days because I usually find R-rated violence too... violent, but I found myself really liking almost all of the action sequences here. None of them felt gratuitous, and a lot of them really focused on the physicality of the immortals fighting in a way I liked, because I feel like people are probably going to fight differently if they know they can survive every single hit, and I think the movie portrayed that in a way that a lot of superhero comics and movies don't. My favorite fight scene is definitely the one between Nile and Andy at the beginning, when Andy has trapped her on a plane and it's extremely close-quarters fighting and also extremely brutal. They don't stop basically until Nile breaks enough bones that she can't get up anymore, because until then she's going to keep trying, which is both kind of horrifying and a great character note. And they didn't film it like it was a Sexy Catfight! It was so good.

Also, the soundtrack is really good, and I've found myself streaming it on Spotify all week. I didn't know any of the songs in the movie, but there's a lot of hip-hop and -- okay, I don't even know if this is a genre? -- specifically a lot of hip-hop with an electronic/industrial sort of beat, which I thought was really great and livened up the fight scenes even more; "Going Down Fighting" did a really good job getting me in the mood for the final confrontation with the villain, and... yeah, it's all good. Someone made a playlist on Spotify that will come up if you search for it.

So, yeah. It's on Netflix. It's not without flaws (mostly, explaining how the hell immortality works, and a couple of pacing issues), but it's a really satisfying superhero movie.

That's the movie. Onto the comic, which I am just now starting to read as I write these words. Whee!

So The Old Guard: Opening Fire is a 2017 five-issue Image Comics series written by Greg Rucka, with art by Leandro Fernández, and there's also a 2019 sequel, The Old Guard: Force Multiplied, by the same creative team, also with five issues. I have not actually read any of Rucka's work before now because he is mostly famous for his DC work, but I have heard good things about it, especially his Wonder Woman run.

Anyway. The art is very stylized, with a minimal color palette, and it's very pretty but I honestly found it hard to parse sometimes. Many of the characters have very weird noses. Yes, noses. It's basically mostly in Andy's and Nile's POVs, like the movie, and as far I can tell Andy is explicitly queer, because unless I am entirely misreading this panel in issue #1, here she is in bed with a woman in one panel. Whee. Also there are some nice epigraphs at the beginning of each issue.

Okay, so, the plot here is basically the plot of the movie. There is still no explanation of why immortality exists. But even so, there are some fun character moments that didn't make it into the movie -- for example, Andy saying smartphones are too hard to use and she liked the old ones better, only for the rest of her team to say that she couldn't use those either. I think you get a better sense of Andy's world-weariness in the comic. There are also other, now-dead Immortals mentioned, like Noriko, who "went overboard off the Horn." Quynh is not one of them; Quynh basically is Noriko, which is because they cast a Vietnamese actress who asked if her character could be Vietnamese too, which seems perfectly reasonable to me. But anyway, in the comics, she's Noriko. Weirdly, Andy's full name, as she tells Nile when they meet, is Andronika ("man-victory") rather than Andromache ("man-battle," in case you were wondering); I think the movie made a better choice because Ἀνδρονίκα has exactly two attestations in the Lexicon of Greek Personal Names, whereas Ἀνδρομάχη has all that shiny name recognition of being shared by the wife of Hector and also the queen of the Amazons and will ping viewers as a Greek name, and therefore ancient, even if it can't be the name she was born with. (There are five for "Andronike" and four more for "Andromacha" so they actually have about the same number of total attestations, as far as I can tell, when you consider the alpha/eta alternation in how various Greek dialects mark feminine nouns.)

(Yes, you totally wanted a review by someone who looks up character names in the LGPN. Don't lie.)

Plotwise, Andy gets all of the initial exposition in for Nile before they get to the safehouse, which Copley has already gotten to before they get back, so Booker is bleeding on the floor and Nile doesn't get to meet Joe or Nicky at this time, and I am also glad they changed that for the movie. But, don't worry, Joe and Nicky's romantic declaration is still in here. We also get Andy pondering the last time she was in love, with a human who grew old.

Oh, and we get Andy's age: 6,732. And by issue #5 her name has changed to Andromache, because what even is continuity? I guess Andromache is her name now.

So Nile finally meets Joe and Nicky when she rescues them and also, uh, that plot point where Andy might die? Totally not a thing here. Nope. And no "surprise! even more immortals!" end-credits moments either.

Basically, I feel like every change they made to the script for the movie really strengthened the story, and even though I thought the movie could have used more character moments, it's way better than how the characters are separated for even longer in the comic. Nile rescuing the team means a lot more when she has met them before, you know?

So Force Multiplied starts us off with Andy, Joe, Nicky, and Nile, because Booker is still on time-out. They are in the middle of a car chase, and Booker's off getting himself kidnapped by someone who wants to know where the others are. The villain of the piece turns out to be Noriko, who is still alive, whom Booker had never had a chance to meet and apparently had never heard of. So, basically, a lot like the Quynh plot that the movie is teasing.

Overall it's a little less action-filled than the first one, which had multiple splash pages of nothing but violence; this one is a little more character-driven and explores the relationship, such as it is, between Andy and Noriko, as well as Nile coming to terms with her immortality, as well as with what everyone else has done over the years. It does have a bunch of violence at the end, though.

I don't want to spoil the ending, but I definitely wasn't expecting where that was heading. There's apparently going to be a third volume, and I am looking forward to it, whenever it exists.

(Although, now that I think about it, the ending is a lot like a fan-favorite moment of Highlander: The Series, but I think if I said which episode you would know exactly what the ending was.)

So, yeah! The Old Guard! I can't say as I feel particularly fannish about it -- there's nothing that makes me yearn to fill in the gaps in canon -- but the movie was really good and you should see it. And you should read the comics if you're into that.

[lo-55]

Shattered Chains of Fate Ch. 1

Through a misunderstanding and a poorly read application, Ichigo Kurosaki gets a chance internship at the Chaldeas Security Organization. It changes everything.

 It felt good to stand in the sunlight.

 Ichigo had spent so long in Chaldea it felt good to have the sun on his skin, warming him from the outside in.

 He had gotten so used to having the solid presence of his Shielder at his side that standing alone on the platform from the train felt more like standing naked in the streets of his hometown. Not a pleasant feeling. His family wouldn’t be there to see him, and they weren’t. He wasn’t supposed to be home for a few more days at least. How could it be that everything that happened to him, all of the fighting and all of the bloodshed and all of the war would have happened in the span of just a few days? How could his years have been spent and yet nothing but him had changed?

 It was enough to make his head spin.  

 He needed to get home.He didn’t think he could ever really finish explaining everything that had happened to him, but he would tell his family the truth. There had been an accident at the facility, and he was home early.

 Even though it had never been an accident.

 *

 There was smoke. Smoke and the scent of blood and spilling gas lines and raw metal twisted beyond recognition.

 He barely heard Dr. Roman yelling at his back, telling him to come back. Ichigo had never shied from danger and he wasn’t going to start now. He dove into the smoke, choking him and clinging to his clothes. Pods of people were disarrayed around him, their bodies still and blood leaking out like creusom caskets. He couldn’t get their doors open, no matter that he tried, but there was one person who was not there. One person who wasn’t him, blocked from the first mission for his bad attitude towards the Director. Nevermind that the director was just a kid herself.

     “Bulkhead closing in 180 seconds. All Devision 2 personal, evacuate immidiately-”  

 Ichigo didn’t understand what that meant. He didn’t know what most of what had happened today meant, just that his little summer internship wasn’t even remotely what was on the flyer. But he didn’t pause as he scrambled over and massive chunk of rock, stuck through with wires that cut his hands like an oversized porcupine.

 A flash of white out of the corner of his eyes gives her away.

 There, lying under the debris, her small body crushed an broken and leaking blood, was Mash.

 It was Mash but all he could see was Yuzu, her wide eyes huge and terrified and filled with tears. Not a girl he’d met an hour before, after passing out on the floor. Not the best meeting.

 The ground was slick with blood and water, turning Ichigo’s white shirt a pale pink where it splashed on it when he dropped to his knees next to her. She was trapped, and the rock was too big for him to even be able to budge it.

 That didn’t stop Ichigo from trying.

 The overhead voice was still talking, and Mash was muttering at him, her voice too weak to make much sound. She was dying. Dying, her tiny body crushed until she coughed and more than just blood came out.

 Ichigo howled with rage and denial and shoved harder, harder. It was hot and smouldering and his hands blistered and blackened with burns. The light above them changed from blue to red and it burned into his retina until he couldn’t see anything else. Just red. Red blood, red light, and his body gave out. Too much smoke, he couldn't breath, he couldn’t see. He was helpless. He couldn’t do a single thing and its burned more than fire.

 Mash’s small hand found his. Her grip was weak, but she was alive. She was still alive and he couldn't just let her die-

 He grabbed her hand with both of his. Holding tight.

 The overhead was still talking, her voice robotically calm and detached. Small paws from the ferret, or whatever it was that had brought him to Mash landed on top of their joined hands.

 “Sen-pai,” her voice was a whisper, and wet with blood. The smell was making him sick. “Please… r-run.”

 “No way,” he denied firmly, gripping her hands tighter. “Not without you.”

 “Senpai…”

 Someone else is yelling at him. A ripple in the air. White hair and panicked eyes. The director, the one Ichigo had pissed off. He reaches for her without thinking, and his hand grasps hers.

 And then he didn’t see red. He saw blue, light that poured across his skin and came from beneath it, rushing like water across the burning room. A circle in the sky, a hollow moon of blue and Mash’s hand in his.

 * *

 He knocks on the door, feeling more stranger than family. His key is long gone, he’d dropped it somewhere in Rome, he thinks, but its hard to keep track of trivial things like that when emperors are trying to gut you like a fish.

 It’s Yuzu that answers and he can’t help it.

 The second she’d within his sights he drags her into the fiercest hug he can manage. He’s gotten taller, he realizes. It’s not a surprise. He spent three years in less than a week, and even if he hadn’t…

 “Ichigo?” Yuzu doesn’t fight him, and he’s grateful for it. She must be confused, because as much as Ichigo loves his sisters he’s not the most physically affectionate person in the world.

 “Hey,” Ichigo doesn’t let go for a long time. “Sorry I was gone so long.”

 “Huh? But you’re home early…”

 Ichigo doesn’t say anything. He’s loath to let her go, but eventually he has to. Karin is at soccer practice, of course she is.

 Ichigo feels his dad coming at him from a mile away, trying to sneak up on him from the clinic next door. He’d seen Isshin through the window, a glance in the corner of his eye and the flying kick thrown at him isn’t stopped with violence for the first time in ten (thirteen) years.

 Ichigo catching him around his middle, holding him off the ground, and Isshin has little choice but to hand there, his arms around Ichigo’s head.

 “Son?” there’s a question or two or a thousand, but Ichigo doesn’t know how to answer all of them. He doesn’t put Isshin down until they’re in the living room and even then he sits right next to him. Knee to knee. Yuzu brings in a can of tea for him.

 “There was an accident,” he tells them. “Chaldea, there was an explosion. So everyones been sent home.” Everyone who survived. Everyone who made it through the initial explosion and wars that followed.

 “Huh? I thought it was supposed to be a security organization, and there was an explosion?” Isshin scowled.

 It was sabotage. It was death. It was the world turning red and the future being stripped away from human hands.

 “It’s fine,” he says, even though it wasn’t even remotely. There were a million things wrong with what has happened. “I’m not hurt.” Which is true enough. He can see his dad sizing him up, trying to read between the lines. He had to look older. He’s taller, his cheeks are sharper and he’s lost baby fat. He’s always been fit, but now he's stronger, built for endurance and running for weeks on end. Tempered by wars and helplessness and a desperate bid to save the world.

 “I’m fine,” he said again, and Isshin let it go. Ichigo didn’t exactly know how to feel about that.

 He spends the rest of the day flitting from family member to family member. School starts again in four days and he heavily considers skipping it to hang around his      dad    of all people.

 He can’t help thinking about Mash. She didn’t have anything like this.

 * * *

 They move from one fire to another.

 Ichigo knows if he stays among all this smoke he’s going to end up with permanent damage. Because you know. Fuck him. He has no idea what happening, just that he thinks he’s teleported and apparently magic is as real as ghosts are. And he’s not dead, Fou sits on his shoulder.

 He doesn’t know where Mash went but he doesn’t have time to worry about it. Some kind of skeleton gang, at least five of them are approaching. Skeletons, living, breath - well, moving in any case, skeletons. Half of them have swords. One has a spear.

 Ichigo thinks he’s broken his hand when he throws the first punch, but the skeleton crumble into a strange yellow powder that tastes like what Ichigo assumes a graveyard would. Death an d decay and strangely damp.

 He can’t stop with one but by the time he’s kicked the absolute shit out of the last of them the sky lights up with another shade of red. Like a handful stars falling from the sky, and he realizes belatedly that there’s no way for him to block whatever the fuck is flying at him.

 So he tries to run, but there’s a flash of purple and pink and Mash is in front of him. Only she’s taller now, older, and she’s holding a shield bigger than her body is. She’s not alone. White hair, snake-yellow eyes. Olga Marie, the director that had been pissed at a ‘commoner’ like Ichigo was with her too. Only, she wasn’t really there.

 It had been years since Ichigo hadn’t been able to tell the dead from the living, but this time it takes him a few minutes to realize that Mash is very much alive, if not apparently a magical girl, and Olga Marie is anything but alive.

 They don’t have time to worry about it, because they’re under seige and Ichigo is apparently a      wizard    .

 He should seriously be more surprised.

 But he’s not. It explains a few things. Like how he can see ghosts on the regular, and why his punching skeletons actually works.

 They pick up another stray on their way, a wizard named Cu Chulainn. He and Mash swear themselves to Ichigo as his ‘servents’, familiars who he supplies with energy and they fight on his behalf. It almost reminds him of Chad, except here he’s entirely outclassed.

 The helplessness tastes bitter and vile.

 A third servent appears, a woman this time who likes to turn people to stone.

 “You’ll all join my garden,” she tells them, hanging off a petrified man. Ichigo can vaguely remember reading something about a person like this. The eyes, he thinks. It’s her eyes.

 He meets them squarely and bonks her harmlessly on the head. He’d have more luck punching the statues than her.

 “Hey,” his voice is gruff. “Stop being a lunatic. We’re all getting out of here. So either come with us or let us go.”

 “You- what?” Everyone is staring at him. Bewildered, but Ichigo had never done what he was supposed to. He does what he wants, and even though she’s threatened them somehow he can feel her. Like the rush of scales across his skin, cool and potentially threatening but if she really wanted to kill them-

 Well, they’d just been hanging out by the river. If nothing else should have taken his head off with her curved spear.

 “Am I gonna have to repeat myself? Damn, I said we’ve got bigger things to do than fight you, lady. So just come with us, or let us go!”

 “Master!” Mash takes a startled step towards him. “Please step away from her! She could kill you!”

 “Why would she do that?” Ichigo demanded, turning towards them, “We haven’t even done anything!” It’s not like he’s against fighting. He fights all the time. But they need to get out of here. He needs to get back to his family, to his own damn      time    .

 Besides that, he can see her power. He isn’t sure how, but he can see her strength and that of the two other Servants. Not see, maybe, but he can feel it. Like he can feel ghosts even with his eyes closed. Either way, she’s not strong enough to beat both of the others at once, even if Mash is a novice.

 “This is a war…”

 “Look,” he spun to face her, staring fearlessly into her eyes. “Just say yes or no already!”

 She blinks. Once, twice, thrice.

 “Yes?”

 So with three servants in toe, he sets out to fight the ones who holds the holy grail. All of this destruction, a city of fire devoid of the living and ghosts both... Only servants and masters remained, all because of a cup.

 All for the sake of a wish.

 Was it really worth it?  

 * * * *

 Ichigo’s bed is equal points familiar and foreign.

 He ends up going to sleep on the floor, the bed too soft and too warm and he feels like he’s going to suffocate.

 All he can think of are late nights spent in Chaldea with Mash, with Roman, and Di Vinci, and countless others. He misses the solid presence of Mash and her near encyclopedic knowledge of history. Everywhere , everywhen they went. He misses the sharp bite of Mordreds tongue betrayed by her sea-dark eyes. He missed the quiet, hulking form of Asterios, always well within reach. He missed the sharp bite of his guard dogs tongue and the quiet prayers of the saints at sunset. Even Kiyohime, her claws digging into his arm, afraid she’ll be abandoned again-

 He’s up before dawn.

 Ichigo puts together enough breakfast for twenty people. Rolled omelette and rice and foreign things. Shakshuka and fried green tomatoes.

 His family stares when they come down for breakfast.

 Ichigo stands, in his dads ‘kiss the cook’ apron, with a bowl of matcha stirring swiftly in his hands.

 “Are you sure you’re okay?” Karin asks, looking him up and down, trying to find something. Isshin’s stare is particularly disconcerting. Like a scientist trying to understand something new, he’s never seen his father look that way, especially not at his own son.

 Ichigo has to turn away from their staring.

 “The time is different there,” is the understatement of the century. “I wanted to make breakfast.”

 “There’s enough here for an army!” Yuzu cries, gesturing to the spread out in front of them.

 Or enough for two Berserkers.

 “We can have leftovers for lunch?” is about the only explanation he has. How does he explain that he used to cooking with EMIYA enough for an actual army?

 “Yeah… I guess so,” Karin is still staring.

 Isshin pitches himself at the portrait of their mother, sobbing grossly.

 “Masaki! Our son is growing up so fast!”  

 * * * * *

 Lev Lainur has an ugly smile. Everything about him is slimy and distrustful and Ichigo has seen enough ghosts to know, just by looking at him, that he is      not    human.

 So when Olga Marie tries to go running to him, Ichigo wraps a firm arm around her middle and holds her back.

 “Let go!” she shrieked, clawing towards the slimy man, “It’s Lev! Lev will fix everything he’ll-”

 “He’ll kill you.”

 Olga Marie freezes in his arms, looking towards Medusa. Rider. Her eyes are narrowed and her hair writhes with snakes, hissing a spitting venom.

 “Kill her?” Lev laughs, a sound like metal grating and children screaming. There’s nothing pleasant about it. “I already have! I planted that bomb directly under her feet, I have no idea how she’s even here!”

 Ichigo knows.

 It’s because of him. Because of his interference in the explosion. The other hand he’d grabbed, it must have been Marie’s. And they’re all here together.

 “W-wait, no. I’m not dead! I can’t be!” But the fight goes out of her. She lets Ichigo hold her, and when Lev beacons gravity shifts and the world tries to pull Olga Marie from his arms. He tightens his hold and barks at Medusa. Chain snake out, lashing them together and to the ground and holding them there, even as Lev pulls until it feels like his skin will come off. Ichigo can feel it again, the drain on his energy. Mana, magic energy, pulled when the servants fought. He has no idea how much he has but it must be just enough for Lev to scoff.

 He shows them the red earth again. The world, the future. Humanity, all gone. Destroyed in an instant, and they the only survivors. All of the past, all of the future.

 There is nothing left of it, save him, Mash, and the ghost in his arms.

 Something inside him writhes and snarls, thirsting for vengeance and at the same time is keens a wailing cry of anguish.

 It’s his mother all over again. Laying on the riverbank, bleeding out and Ichigo helpless in her arms.

 It’s Mash in the command room, crushed under burning stone and Ichigo only able to hold her hand.

 No, no, no, no!

 He won’t allow it. He will not let himself be so      useless    .

 There’s a flare of energy and Medusa gasps. Mash and Cu straighten up like dogs that heard a whistle and their fight turn on a dime. The archer falls, and his king a second later until all five of them stand before Lev. United.

 * * * * * *

 School starts.

 The world turns on.

 Everything is the same, and nothing is at all.

 * * * * * * * *

[aahsokaatano]

ITALY????

Y’all I spent one whole week in Italy in 2017 and it was one of the most bizarre fucking weeks of my life

let’s break it down from the beginning

[under a read more for length]

So, fall of 2017 I was studying abroad in London. One of the classes I was taking was specifically for study abroad students, designed to get us engaging in the culture of London or whatever i dont really remember the class itself but my god do i remember the people i met in it

two in particular were these girls, also American. We shall call them Molly and Ally. They had quickly made friends with each other, and after one of the class trips into London, i was friendly with them as well. The “reading week” or fall break was coming up, and they mentioned that they were going to Italy and asked if I wanted to go. I had booked a short tour to Dover, but thought “oh my god Italy???? Fuck yes!” and so I bought my plane tickets then asked them where they had booked hotel rooms so that I could add myself to their itinerary

“Oh,” Molly said, “we haven’t, don’t worry about it”

Me, a seasoned traveler “?????? uh”

I bugged them about this for at LEAST a week and finally, about THREE DAYS from when we were supposed to leave, I just went ahead and booked an assortment of hostels and airbnbs for us in all the cities they wanted to go to and told them to pay me back later

they actually admitted afterwards that that had been a smart move on my part which like????? no SHIT its a smart move to have a plan where you’re gonna sleep every night while in a foreign country. god.

So, lets go through this day by day

Day 1 - London to Milan

we flew from London to Milan in the evening, getting there pretty late at night. and it was only once we were actually IN Italy that I learned that 1) none of us spoke Italian and 2) despite having grown up in two areas with large Hispanic populations, neither Molly or Ally spoke a lick of Spanish, which is close enough to Italian that you can kind of limp through a conversation of one if you know the other.

so, somehow, I ended up being our Italian translator for the week, armed with nothing but a translator website, a handful of Italian music terms, and the ability to roll my r’s fairly well for a white person. Literally, i figured out where the bus stop was outside of the airport because I saw the word “fermata” painted on the pavement and I knew that meant “long pause” in sheet music terms so I hazarded a guess it meant stop or similar in regular Italian

(sidenote I almost got in a fight with some random Italian dude on the bus because Molly was going on about how excited she was to try the pizza and I told her it wasn’t going to be the same because “the pizza you’re used to is an American invention” and he turned around and started going on about the tradition of pizza in Italy and I was like I just mean that American pizza is different from real Italian pizza i did not mean to offend i’m sorry!!!!!! anyways)

the bus dropped us in a square in the middle of Milan and we got out and i’m lookin at my airbnb app trying to figure out where we need to go and i said “okay we need to get a cab” and Molly and Ally are arguing about something and this RANDOM ASS DUDE walks up to us and is like “you need taxi?” and i said yes to he leads us back to his REGULAR ASS CAR, NOT A TAXI and tells us to get in, and for some unknown fucking reason I do and Molly and Ally follow me and shut up real fast because this is sketchy as fuck but the guy did take us to the airbnb without murdering us so thats a win i guess

The airbnb by the way was more like a mini hostel - it was this apartment where pretty much every room except the bathroom had been converted into a bedroom and so probably not entirely legal but whatever. whatever. 

Day 2 - Milan to Venice

i woke up early the next morning and went to take a shower at the bathroom at the end of the hall and found out that the lights didn’t work. Whatever, I’m mostly blind without my glasses anyways so i just showered in the dark, no biggie

we had an early bus to catch from Milan to Venice, so we headed out to the bus station. I’ll be honest, I do not remember how we got there. I think we walked, because I ended up with a coffee at some point so I probably got it from some cafe on the way? But idk. I was so tired.

We get on the bus, I found two empty seats far away from Molly and Ally, and immediately stretched out and fell asleep.

Ally woke me a little later and said “c’mon, we’re here!”

I was confused as all hell because it had not been nearly long enough for us to get all the way to Venice, but I got off the bus and was greeted by Molly stretching her arms out and proclaiming “Welcome to Venice!” underneath a sign that said we were at the Verona bus station.

They did not believe me when I said Verona and Venice were two different places. “Venice has canals, Verona is where Romeo & Juliet is set. There are no canals in R&J, they’re two different places!” I literally had to pull out my phone, go to google maps, and zoom out until they could see that Venice was still several hours away before they believed me.

The bus driver almost didn’t let us back on but I was able to show him on the tickets that our end destination was, in fact, Venice.

Venice itself was pretty neat. We got to go on a gondola ride and I ate an entire pizza by myself at dinner lmao.

Day 3 - Venice to Florence

we took a train from Venice to Florence the next morning, and that’s when I discovered that Italian train stations have lovely little cafes with AMAZING coffee and really good pastries. The other two didn’t drink coffee but like, their loss. it was fantastic. 

Florence was great, we found a little shop that sold really yummy gelato for only 1 Euro a scoop - Geletaria La Carraia. If you ever end up in Florence, definitely check it out!

We wandered around for a while, took a lot of pictures. There was some famous church that was undergoing some renovations, but as we walked up to it Molly gasped and said “I’ve climbed that in Assassin’s Creed!” which was pretty funny. 

We went to a museum that had made a bunch of models of some of Leonardo DaVinci’s inventions. We went to an art museum and stumbled across Michaelangelo’s David on accident, so that was the big “wtf” moment of the day. Also that night Molly decided to buy a bottle of wine to take home to a friend of her’s back in America, but realized after buying it that her backpack wasn’t big enough to cart it around for the rest of the week so I ended up carrying an entire fucking bottle of wine for the rest of the trip because I was the only one smart enough to bring a proper backpacking backpack and not just my school bag.

Also the hostel we were in had actual skeleton keys for their rooms and actual goddamn keyholes that one could clearly see through so i left the key in the lock all night AND hung my sweatshirt from the door handle so that no one could peek in at us

Day 4 - Florence to Pisa

once again, I woke up early, went into the bathroom attached to our room (the hostel had had a cancellation and so we ended up in a private room instead of a dorm style) and discovered that the lights didn’t work so I had a second shower in the dark

we took another train from Florence to Pisa, and there we ran into our only bit of bad weather

What’s the big draw in Pisa? The Leaning Tower, right?

What was the only day it rained, non-fucking-stop, the entire time we were in Italy? THE DAY WE WERE IN PISA

I got so soaked that I actually bought a new sweatshirt because the one I was wearing was DRIPPING

anyways, after we had taken several dumb touristy pictures and grabbed an early dinner at a nearby restaurant, we decided to head over to the room I had booked. The cheapest place I could find was a tiny cabin at a campground nearby. According to the map on my phone, it was a short walk away.

A solid hour later, we finally trudged up to the main office of the campground, shivering and soaked, and got the keys to our cabin. We set our stuff down, and Ally and Molly decided to go back out to the grocery store we had passed coming in. I waved them off and went to take a shower in the bathroom with fully functioning lights! hooray!

Day 5 - Pisa to Rome

another morning, another train station with excellent coffee. We got into Rome and, at this point, we were all so tired from travelling that I was finally able to take charge. up until this point, Molly had been railroading us, even sort of bullying Ally in the process, but now she was exhausted and I, through a combination of practice in functioning while dead on my feet, lots of travel experience, and Mom Friend Instincts, took the reins. We got to Rome and I said “we’re going to the church with the big hole in the roof (its a thing, look it up) and then we’re going to eat.... at this place around the corner and then we’re going to to go our hostel and check in”

they didn’t argue, and that’s a true testament to how fucking tired the two of them were, especially Molly, because she would argue about anything and everything given half a chance. We also went to the military museum that day, mostly because it was free and also air conditioned

(also while looking through my pictures of this trip i just discovered that i still have the picture i took of the Rome hostel FAQ page that had by the front desk, which i now remember i did because it had the wifi password on it and we weren’t in our room for 30 seconds before one of the other two asked what the wifi password was so, once again, i show that i am a very good traveler/travelling buddy)

Day 6 - Rome

so we had the next full day in Rome, and we got up early to get in line for the Vatican. I wanted to be there by 7am, Molly was like “it doesn’t even open until 9!” and we compromised at 8 and it was STILL an enormous line so i was like “see? this is why i wanted to get here early”

Oh, but before we went to the Vatican, i took a shower. IN. THE. DARK. BECAUSE ALL OF ITALY EXCEPT FOR PISA DECIDED THAT I DIDN’T DESERVE TO HAVE A SHOWER WHERE I DIDN’T HAVE TO FUMBLE AROUND BLINDLY LIKE AN ASSHOLE

ALSO on the way to the Vatican, I asked if the two of them had their passports. Ally said yes. Molly said yes, why?

And I had to then explain to Molly, a 20 year old RELIGIOUS STUDIES MAJOR, who was RAISED CATHOLIC and who had FAMILY IN THE CLERGY, that the Vatican, THE CENTER OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, is it’s own country. 

she, again, did not believe me until i pulled it up on google for her

turned out that we didn’t need our passports stamped to enter the Vatican but still! still!!!!!

so it turned out that whatever day we were there on, the Sistine Chapel isn’t open that day, so we just walked through the cathedral and then headed out to the Colosseum and the ruins of the Senate behind it, both of which were very cool

Day 7 - Rome to Milan to London

we got up even EARLIER on our last day, I took another shower in the dark, and we rushed over to the Vatican, speedwalked through most of the museum, and finally got into the Sistine Chapel, which was absolutely breathtaking. Then we hauled ass back to the train station to catch our train back to Milan.

At this point in the trip, I was so fucking done with the two of them, but especially Molly. Ally was sweet and naive, but she was also willing to listen to new information. Molly was just a stubborn ass with a mean streak a mile wide and I was COMPLETELY done associating with her.

Luckily, since I had booked my flights separately, while we had flown into Milan on the same plane, I had a completely different flight back to London - to a different airport, even. They were going back to London City, but I was heading to London Gatwick. Both planes were set to depart around the same time, from two gates that were next to each other though, so i couldn’t really escape them until - uh oh! My flight was delayed. 

Molly and Ally were fretting about it but i was like “it’s fine. it’s fine. I’ve been flying since i was literally 3 months old and I s o m e h o w know more Italian AND Spanish than the two of you combined, even though I would never say that I speak EITHER of those languages. Just go.”

The flight ended up being delayed like 5 hours due to mechanical issues. They finally just got another plane for us, and we finally took off from Milan. When we went over Paris, the captain, obviously feeling bad about the delay, made sure to tilt the plane in both directions so that everyone could see the Eiffel Tower lit up, it was really neat.

We finally got back to London at literally like 230 in the morning. The busses and some of the trains weren’t even running at that point - certainly not all the way out to the fancy little liberal arts college I was going to. I went up to some security guard at the airport and said “just tell me how close I can get to the University of Roehampton on the trains” and he told me to take the train to Black Friars so I got out there and there was a bus, but it was like 40 minutes out. It’s now pass 3am, I am exhausted after a long, weird week in Italy, I texted my dad and he said “just get an Uber i’ll pay for it”

The Uber driver was very nice and as soon as I got in he said “you look really cold! do you want the heat on?” i could have fucking kissed him. he was super nice. actually made sure that I was still texting my dad (i had mentioned it when I got in because I almost dropped my bag while trying to text and maneuver at the same time) every few minutes. offered to let me take and send a picture of him to my dad. otherwise didn’t really speak and just let the music play. I tipped him literally whatever was in my pocket at that time, i don’t remember how much it was, but it was at least 20% and probably more. Really great guy. 

Random London Uber driver from 2017, you remain the best Uber driver and I love you

i finally crawled into my shitty little dorm bed at about 4am, exhausted and utterly bewildered by the past week

honestly??? I’m still bewildered by my week in Italy.

wtf even happened in all that mess.

[roystory4]

when in rome!

i dont think i ever clarified here but in 2294 maccready hires nick and tua (who have both informerly stepped away from the office by that point) to look into why kids are disappearing from little lamplight again. the case is specifically referred to as “the kids are...” but there’s a sub-plot, called “when in rome”, where nick and tua are temporarily waylaid by vault 112 for about a day. it mostly just exists story-wise bc i was watching maniac at the time and wanted a fun multi-setting thing where i could explore similar themes between annie and tua (as well as owen and nick...)

anyhow theres a handful of recurring “worlds” braun puts them through in an attempt to use their memories to explore what had become of america above. initially the joke was that fallout 4’s canon intro was so ridiculous it could realistically be in line w braun’s trademark simulation of a prewar neighborhood, so the first “puzzle” is fo4’s default intro, lol.

tua is able to figure out that something is wrong fairly quickly; nick, on the other hand, lags behind. this is kind of nick’s “thing” for the duration of this case. multiple times hes presented w a scenario (like being married/having a family, being human again, etc) thats so in tune w what he “wants” that he can’t tell hes being conned.

this isnt really touched upon til the end of the case... though nick had been coming to terms w it throughout the simulations, tua didnt actually piece together WHY nick was fooled every time until after they left, and it was kind of. embarrassing? its 2294, two years before nuka-world. at this point theyre both kind of aware that they have Something going on and neither of them know what to do with it. realizing your best friend kept falling for the same trick (that you were married! that you had a home together!) bc it was something they kind of, sort of would enjoy, is. a lot. especially for tua. whos aware of nick’s shamefully hiding his pining for the past 6 years.

theyre able to keep that first sim going for a while even after they figure out whats going on tho. to the point they leave the vault together and set out into the wasteland. the problem is every tjme braun realizes theyve figured it out, he resets the simulation. eventually he separates them entirely bc they kept figuring it out.

the other sims are along the same lines tho. braun will put them through some fantastical (prewar) image of post apocalyptic america, refining it as he goes every time the suspension of disbelief is shattered by whoever’s playing. eventually he splits them up permanently, putting tua in the post apocalyptic sim until it becomes fo4’s default quest (to reach diamond city and get help) while nick is trapped in his own version of finding out who killed his dead wife (again, default fo4). the latter is less successful bc nick keeps going off on tangents — looking for someone else that he cant remember, and always ending up at the lighthouse. tua meanwhile getting increasingly more frustrated but also working with braun in hopes she can get out sooner

theres a few other “plots” thrown in more or less for brauns entertainment, w nick or tua guest starring when they’re not supposed to — the torch singer story (as evidenced), exploring a futuristic, underground utopia (the institute, but as it is in fo4), a few snippets of other aus in tua canon to begin with.... theres even a scene where nick explores tua’s memory of the sentinel site which is. rough.

it should be noted that tua (or at least a symbol of tua) keeps showing up in nicks simulations. the theory is that shes become such a staple of his memories that the way the memory pod/stasis chambers interpret translates it is like. shes preprogrammed into his head. words in the heart cannot be taken etc

also symbols r pretty important. kind of like in inception. nick’s symbol is a white bishop from the chess set tua gifted him one year, and its kind of like. his brain bringing in certain tokens naturally. tua’s symbol is just the whole ass kingsport lighthouse. not as inconspicuous but a pretty good sign shes dreaming.

i havent really figured out how they even escape this situation (altho i think itll be via the institute’s teleporter, in a metaphorical sense, if not a guest appearance from @areax ‘s marlene and the real boy) but this should provide more context for the odd drawing i post here. bye yall

[zaffrenotes]

Sojourn: The Fair Wanderer

Players: Drake, OCs (various) Warnings: R/NS*W 18+ (Finer Things made me do it!) Summary: Drake runs into a familiar face one night at work Author’s Note: *All main characters belong to Pixelberry, I’m just borrowing them* A one-shot of some new people that Drake Walker encounters during his time in New York City. Part of the Sojourn series, where Katrina and Drake are friends/roommates while they both work on getting their degrees. Timeline falls between Books 2 and 3 of The Royal Romance. This is as weird as it gets for me, just for Thirsty Thursday. Word Count: ~3000

Musical Inspiration: Ai Du, Ali Farka Toure (He sings in a foreign language, but damn if this music isn’t sultry as hell)

The dim amber light of the Edison bulbs cast a warm glow over the bustling crowd, though it made it hard to see now and then. Drake wiped down a stack of glass tumblers, watching the predominantly female crowd at the bar in case anyone needed a refill. It was another busy night at Copper & Oak, and he’d likely be leaving with good tips by the end of his shift.

Drake’s thoughts drifted past the hum of conversation around him, running his fingers across his lips as he thought about a certain bee charmer that he’d asked to dinner the other day. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice someone staring at him, impatiently tapping a glass, until she cleared her throat.

“What’ll you have?” he asked, snapping back to reality. He glanced at a hummingbird with a pink ribbon on the woman’s wrist, following the line of sight up her arm to a turtle tattoo with the word “ohana.” I know that ink. How do I know that ink?

“Jameson Gold Reserve,” responded the woman. “Che strano vederti qui dopo tutti questi anni, Drake Walker.” (How strange to see you after all these years, Drake Walker.)

Drake looked up to see a surprisingly familiar face before him. Her blue-grey eyes were still bright and lively as the day he’d met her in the crowded café in Rome; her short blonde hair was now long and wavy, like spun gold in the ambient light of the bar. She looked more beautiful now than she did seven years ago. A knowing smirk played on her full lips as she tapped the oak bar with perfectly manicured nails. “Seven hells,” he muttered. “Cierra?”

“Sei ricordato,” she smiled. “Though you haven’t remembered to fill my order.”

Drake grinned bashfully and turned around to grab the bottle of Jameson off the shelf, pouring a generous amount into her glass as she slipped a bill on the bar for payment. “What are you doing here in New York, of all places?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” she replied. She took a sip of her drink, closing her eyes to relish the taste of it. “Last time I saw you, you were running around Italy with those two Rys brothers, the blonde one causing all sorts of trouble.”

“Leo,” Drake chuckled. “Yeah, he’s uh…married now, if you can believe it. To an American.”

“No! How did that happen?” Cierra’s eyes went wide before she lowered her voice and leaned over the bar. “Wasn’t he next in line for the throne?” she whispered.

“He uh…abdicated, in order to get married,” Drake whispered back. “Liam’s actually the king now.”

“You’re kidding,” she said, pulling back. “Then what are you doing here? I thought you were his right hand man.”

“I still am, in a manner of speaking.” He paused and held up a finger as another patron at the bar caught his attention. “Be right back.” Drake walked a few paces down the bar to take new orders, pouring various whiskeys for his customers. His eyes kept flitting back to Cierra, who patiently sipped her Jameson.

***

Cierra was an unexpected friend he made, the summer before leaving Cordonia to attend college in the US. Drake and Liam tagged along with Leo during one of his excursions from the palace, running off to Rome for two weeks. Drake had begrudgingly learned Italian so that Liam could practice with someone, since Liam started joining Constantine in his meetings. His rudimentary grasp on the language – not to mention the pronunciation – even after weeks of practice, fell short when they arrived in Rome. Leo’s contribution was to teach them both a handful of lines to pick up women – THOSE he committed to memory.

Drake had been standing at a counter in a café, trying to get the attention of anyone to place an order for himself and Liam, but he couldn’t seem to get through above the chatter of everyone else shouting their orders. A petite blonde bumped shoulders with him, tucking her hair behind one ear as she smiled. “Devi essere più aggressivo se vuoi attirare la loro attenzione,” she laughed. (You need to be more aggressive if you want to get their attention.) Drake stared at her blankly; he only understood half of what she said. “Fammi indovinare, non sei di queste parti, vero?” (Let me guess, you’re not from around here, are you?) Another blank stare was his response at the captivating young woman, and she sighed impatiently. “Americano?”

“Uh, sì,” he replied. It was at least half true. “Il mio amico…says I need… pratica,” he explained, in halting Italian. He ticked his head in Liam’s direction, and the girl nodded.

“Do you…want some help?” she offered.

He chuckled softly. “Sì, grazie,” he replied. “Uhh, two espressos, un monte bianco …and one catalana, per favore.” Drake felt the back of his neck warm, asking the girl for help to order coffee and cake. She edged closer to the counter, and with a shockingly clear voice, caught the attention of someone behind the counter to place his order along with hers. She turned back and motioned for him to follow her towards the register, where he paid for her order as thanks.

He invited her to join him and Liam at a small table, smiling when she accepted. Her name was Cierra, and she was studying abroad for a semester in Italy. After her classes, she spent time with Drake, Liam, and Leo, trying to teach Drake more Italian as they walked through Rome and shared meals. She conversed easily with Liam, their rapid fire Italian too much for Drake to translate in his head; she rebuffed Leo’s attempts to flirt, which Drake admired.

Their goodbye was bittersweet, since Drake didn’t even try so much as holding her hand during their time together. He wasn’t even sure if she had any feelings for him. The last night he was in Rome, they wound up in a small square, finishing off a bottle of wine as a small band played a sultry song on their guitars. They weren’t singing in Italian, or English, for that matter, but Drake stood up and offered his hand to Cierra. She draped her arms around his neck as his hands rested on her waist, and they swayed in a lazy circle to the music.

“I kind of wish I didn’t have to leave t’morrow,” he admitted.

“You said you don’t live that far away, right? Near Greece?”

“Yeah…but I’m leaving for college soon. To the States.”

“Oh.” Cierra lowered her head and let her hands fall to his shoulders. “Talk about il destino, hmm? I leave the US to study abroad, you’re leaving to go study there.”  

He leaned his head close to her ear. “We could write to each other, I could come home for break.” He felt her tremble slightly, his breath warm against her ear. He could smell the wine on her breath as she exhaled, along with the sweet scent of her perfume.

Cierra pulled back to look at him, a sad smile on her face. She looked beautiful in the soft light of the square. “Quale sarebbe il punto? Why start something you can’t finish?” Her hands fell from his shoulders and she turned to walk away, but Drake grabbed her wrist, pulling her back to him.

“Cierra,” he whispered, cupping her cheek with his other hand. Maybe it was the wine, or the music, but as he looked into her deep blue-grey eyes, he wanted nothing more than to pause their moment in time. As his heart pounded in his chest, he closed the distance between their lips, pressing against her mouth as if he’d somehow hurt her. She tasted of Frascati, sweet and light and floral. She kissed him back, nipping at his lower lip, causing him to move his hand from her wrist to grab the fabric of her dress, pulling her even closer. He kissed her harder, and she moaned lightly into his mouth, feeling one of her hands thread through his dark hair. His hand moved from her cheek to the back of her head, twining his fingers through impossibly soft tresses, feeling his jeans grow tight. He didn’t dare stop kissing her.

Drake’s tongue implored permission, and Cierra gripped his hair tighter as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. Kissing her was intoxicating. She pressed her chest against his as their kiss continued, making him twitch below the waist; he wanted to make love to her right where they stood.

They suddenly parted as onlookers whistled and shouted catcalls in Italian; things that he chose to ignore translating in his head. He pressed his forehead to hers as they both caught their breath. “We should go…somewhere else,” she panted, her lips swollen and pink from his doing. He kissed her forehead, pulling several Euros from his wallet and slipped them under the wine bottle before grabbing Cierra’s hand. He practically ran with her back to his hotel, letting go of her hand long enough to message Liam to avoid being in their shared room until Drake messaged him again.

Cierra’s green sundress fluttered around her thighs as she kept up with Drake, arriving at the hotel in record time. They walked briskly through the lobby and he wrapped her in his arms the second the elevator doors closed. He kissed her again, feeling her smile against his lips, as he slid one strap of her sundress off her shoulder. Her delicate hands tugged at the hem of his shirt, his abs flexing as her fingers danced across his bare skin; he dipped his head down and nibbled at the soft skin on her neck. She tilted her head up to give him more access, and his hand roamed the front of her dress, his thumb grazing the soft curve of her breast. They pulled away again as the elevator door opened on his floor, and he took her hand again as they walked down the hallway.

Drake was grateful that Liam got the message when he found the room empty. Cierra took his hands in hers and led him to the loveseat, and he sat down. She straddled him before kissing him again, pressing her lithe body against his as a tiny whimper escaped her lips. His hands roamed up and down her back before finding their way under the fabric of her dress, raking up the smooth skin of her thighs. She whimpered again, biting his lower lip as she pulled away. "Ti voglio, solo per stanotte,” she pleaded, her voice low. I want you, just for tonight.

“As the lady wishes,” he replied, his voice heavy with desire. Drake leaned forward and caught her lips in a fervent kiss, pressing his hands into her thighs to lift her up. When she complied, his hands made their way to the apex between her legs, already warm and damp with arousal. He looked up to see Cierra biting her lip, giving him a small nod of permission as he locked eyes with hers, now dark with wanting. He pushed the cotton fabric aside to touch her with two fingers, and Cierra leaned down to kiss him again, driving her wet center onto his digits, pressing her palm against the growing bulge in his pants. There was no need for foreplay; he wanted to know what it felt like to be inside her, and she was done playing coy.

Drake pulled his fingers away and Cierra whined in complaint. She stared at him as he licked his fingers clean of her, feeling a tightening sensation in his pants. “Paradiso,” he murmured. Heaven. In one swift movement, he caught her in another kiss and pinned her down on the loveseat, his hands wandering up and down the bodice of her dress as she arched her back. He began undoing the buttons down the center as he kissed her lips and sucked on her neck. Cierra wrapped her legs around his waist to pull him closer, her hands slipping past his own to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. She slipped a warm hand under the waistband of his boxer briefs, grabbing hold of him, and he clenched his jaw at her touch. He looked up to see a surprised reaction on her face; he prided himself on being more than average. Her surprise turned to a wicked smirk as he continued unbuttoning her dress, exposing her nearly naked body to him. “God, you’re beautiful,” he said, pressing his lips to hers once more. He’d nearly gotten all the buttons undone as she started to stroke him, when someone came stumbling through the door. Cierra yelped and pulled at her dress to cover herself, and Drake closed his eyes, fully prepared to shout at Liam.

“Well heeeey there, kidsssss.” Drake cursed under his breath. It wasn’t Liam, but Leo, who had barged into the room. Leo leaned over to see who was laying in the loveseat. “Seriously? You’re making out with him instead of me? Pshhhh,” Leo waved his hand at them before walking to the minibar.

“LEO,” Drake hissed. “You have your own room, man. Go drink there.”

“My room….contains…sleeping ladies,” Leo answered, mixing Jack and Coke in a glass. “And my minibar is empty.” Drake’s chance with Cierra ended that night, as Leo proceeded to drink before passing out on Liam’s bed. Drake left early the next morning.

***

After serving several other customers, he returned to Cierra, pouring her another finger’s worth of Jameson. “On the house,” he quipped, before she had a chance to pull out any more money from her clutch.

“So, you were saying you’re still Liam’s right hand man, even while you’re here in New York?”

“I’m here finishing my degree,” he explained. “I…had to drop out of school for a while, help Liam through some...stuff, and I just never went back to finish.”

“But you’re finishing now?”

“It’s a long story, but the abridged version is…” Drake said, lowering his voice slightly. “Leo abdicated, Liam became next in line and had to find a wife, and he fell in love with an American woman as well, sponsored by a noble house. They’re engaged, but she wanted to finish law school here in New York before taking on her role as Queen. I’m here sort of as the Kings Guard since Liam can’t be with her all the time, and I’m finishing my degree at the same time.”

Cierra stared at him, taking in all the information, before taking a long sip of her drink. “And you work here because…”

“I like earning my own money, as nice as Liam is to help with tuition as ‘part of my service to the crown’ or whatever.” Drake flashed her a small grin. “Besides, I know all about whiskey. What brings you to New York?”

“I’m just taking a break from traveling,” she replied, swirling what was left in her glass. “Staying with a group of friends here in the city for a few weeks before I head to Morocco in December.” She tipped her head back to finish the rest of her drink. “We should catch up some time, if you’re living here.”

“I’d like that.” Drake picked a bottle of Macallan 18 Sherry Oak from the wall behind him, pouring two fingers worth in a fresh glass, along with a dash into a second. He offered the first glass to Cierra. “This is one of my new favorites,” he said, picking up the second glass for himself. “I’m not really supposed to drink during a shift, but this is a special occasion.”

“Meraviglioso,” she said, smiling at him. “We should make a toast, to…il doce far niente,”she added, raising an eyebrow at him. “Dare I ask how your Italian is after all these years?”

“No better than before, I’m afraid,” he chuckled. “I understand it well enough, though.”

“It might help you get better tips,” she teased. “Especially with this crowd.”

“Heh. This Americano manages just fine, thanks.” Drake held his glass up to hers, clinking them together lightly. “To the moments in between.”

“Sì, ai momenti intermedi.” She drank half the contents of the glass. “Damn…that’s a good one,” she replied, glancing over her shoulder. “I should get back to my friends.” Cierra took a bar napkin and a small pen from her clutch, writing down her number. “Call me next week, we’ll have lunch or dinner or something. Bring Liam’s fiancée if you want.”

“I’ll mention it to her,” he answered, pocketing the napkin. Drake walked over to the register, where an ipod was hooked up to the sound system. He scrolled through the tracks for a song, peering over his shoulder to see Cierra drop a $20 into the oversize glass on the bar meant for tips, and smiled to himself as he found the track, pressing play.

A familiar, sultry guitar riff started to play over the sound system, and Cierra stood in place, recognizing the song. She looked back at him over her shoulder, a knowing smirk across her lips.

“Per te, cara amica,” he called out, winking at her. For you, my friend.

“Grazie,” she said, before walking off to rejoin her friends.

Tagged (Let me know if you’d like to be added to this mostly-Drake series): @mind-reader1 @speedyoperarascalparty @ooo-barff-ooo @likethetailofacomet @endlessly-searching-for-you @sleepwalkingelite @agent-bossypants @brightpinkpeppercorn @akrenich @simplyaiden-blog @wannabemc2 @jovialyouthmusic

[its-veso]

EUR/USD gains are limited ahead of the ECB, despite Powell

EUR/USD has been consolidating its recent gains which stemmed from USD weakness.

Weak euro-zone inflation figures are indicating a cautious stance from the ECB on Thursday and concerns about Italy weigh.

Wednesday’s four-hour chart is pointing to overbought conditions.

The subtlest of hints of a Fed rate cut has been all that markets had been waiting for – stocks surged and the US dollar extended its falls. Fed Chair Jerome Powell said that the Fed “will act as appropriate” in response to the risks that trade tensions pose to the US economic outlook.

The powerful central banker has deviated from his previous stance that advocated patience – which meant leaving rates unchanged for a long time. The tweak in his wording has been echoing and remains the main theme of the day.

Powell has had considerable reasons to lose his patient stance – there is no let up in the trade wars. China has fined Ford’s Chinese unit for a violation of an anti-monopoly law while the US is examining alternative suppliers of rare earth products – it is currently reliant on China. Rare earth materials are critical in various industries and the world’s second-largest economy has hinted it may curb exports.

On the positive side, US Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin will meet the head of China’s central bank Yi Gang at the gathering of G-20 finance ministers and central bankers in Japan over the weekend. While expectations are low, just holding the high-level meeting has been a source of comfort to markets.

Draghi and Italy

In the old continent, preliminary inflation figures for May have disappointed – 1.2% year on year in headline consumer price index (CPI) and 0.8% on Core CPI. The European Central Bank meets tomorrow for a critical decision and the data may force president Mario Draghi and his colleagues to lower forecasts and take a dovish stance on interest rates. The anticipation of the event has limited EUR/USD gains.

See ECB Preview: Three things that may tilt EUR/USD to the downside[1]

And while traders will have to wait until Thursday to hear from Draghi, developments in his home country may take center stage. The Italian government is on a collision course with the EU once again. According to Italian media, the European Commission will initiate an infringement process against Italy over its fiscal policy.

Matteo Salvini, Italy’s Deputy PM and the de-facto head of state, is buoyed by his victory in the European elections and is set to deepen the country’s budget deficit. His Economics Chief Claudio Borghi said the talks with Brussels “must not end with a compromise similar to last autumn” – referring to Italy’s climbdown that was triggered by Rome’s rising borrowing costs.

Critical US data

And while the euro holds in breath ahead of the ECB[2] gathering, top-tier US data awaits traders. The ADP Non-Farm Payrolls[3] has served as a critical hint to last month’s jobs report and the upcoming release for May is set to draw attention.

See ADP Employment Preview: Moderating but healthy[4]

The ISM Non-Manufacturing PMI is due shortly after. The forward-looking survey for the services sector may show a slowdown – following the footsteps of the manufacturing sector data released on Monday. Apart from the headline number, the employment component will be closely watched as a hint of hiring in America’s largest sector.

See US Services PMI Preview: Down but not out[5]

Overall, EUR/USD is set to move by further developments around Italy and US data – which helps to shape Fed[6] expectations.

EUR/USD Technical Analysis

EUR/USD has been battling the former triple-top of 1.1265 that it only temporarily conquered on Tuesday. While momentum remains positive, the relative strength index is just above 70 – indicating overbought conditions. It seems that the currency pair will continue struggling for a direction for some time.

Resistance awaits at 1.1280 which was served as support in mid-April. Next up, we find 1.1305 that held the currency pair down in a recovery attempt later that month. 1.1325 was the high point in April and is the next line to watch.

Looking down, 1.1225 was a swing low on Tuesday and works as support. 1.1190 is where the 50 and 100 simple moving averages converge. Further down, 1.1145 capped EUR/USD[7] in late May and 1.1125 cushioned it around the same time.

References

^ ECB Preview: Three things that may tilt EUR/USD to the downside (www.fxstreet.com)

^ ECB (www.fxstreet.com)

^ Non-Farm Payrolls (www.fxstreet.com)

^ ADP Employment Preview: Moderating but healthy (www.fxstreet.com)

^ US Services PMI Preview: Down but not out (www.fxstreet.com)

^ Fed (www.fxstreet.com)

^ EUR/USD (www.fxstreet.com)

from Forex Crunch http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ForexCrunch/~3/N1OGadjpov8/

[withyouandthemoon]

Five years ago today the Original Hybrid promised our favorite baby vampire he would be her last love, however long it takes, sparking the Klaroline endgame we have all been waiting for. In honor of this momentous day, share your endgame headcanons or hopes and anonymously c&p this message to 5 Klaroliners #klarolinecountdown #5yearanniversary

Sorry it took me a while (as is, sadly, usually the case with me) but believe me I’m as excited as the next person for our fast (not fast enough but I’ll die waiting) approaching endgame! So…I’ve managed to come up with this little something as my headcanon for the end of this season. Hope you enjoy!

Dust to Dust

She didn’tmean to finish the wine.

One of herpersonal traits that Caroline took the most pride in was her remarkableself-control. Half a glass of red to relax and warm up her body after a longday? Sure, why not. Finding the whole bottle gone and herself a bitlight-headed before she even knew it? Not exactly her thing.

Quietlysighing, Caroline twirled the empty glass between her fingers. She could almostpick up the tiny hum of the air gliding along the delicate curve, if not forthe incessant nagging of the rain outside the windows of her hotel suite. Noteto self: it does rain in Rome, no matter how hot and sunny her romance-maniackind of a mind pictured the ancient city.

She alsodidn’t mean to forget about checking the weather before she came here.

A call came aweek ago about a newly-manifested young werewolf roaming the area and causingtroubles. She hopped on a plane shortly after, telling herself that it was anurgent, code-orange issue that required her immediate attention, although therewas rarely an item on her schedule that wasn’t planned at least one monthbeforehand.

It was a merecoincidence that one of her informants happened to find a lead to a certainhybrid on the same day.

A lead whichwas now crossed off from the note-pad sitting right before her on the coffeetable, along with the countless other dead-ends scribbled inside.

No one hadcaught wind of him since the final battleas they’d come to call it. Cliché, and not in the least bit accurate for therewas no way this could be the end of all supernatural commotion, but somehowstill fitting in all its brutal glory and ominous implications.

Caroline hadonly heard of what happened in bits and pieces. Some of them lined up, some ofthem didn’t, but all of them led up to the biggest news of centuries in theentire supernatural community. For months it was all everyone talked about-beit a hushed whisper in the back alley, a vengeful rant fumed by booze andrecklessness, excited but clueless gossip among kids in the boarding school, orcryptic-wording posts from daring paranormal social accounts.

He was KlausMikaelson after all. If he was not imposing on your physical being, you betyour ass he would be an intruding thought in your spiritual one. There was justno going around-Caroline should know.

Still therumor was never confirmed. Not according to Caroline anyway, even if she’d seenthe look of utter desolation on Hope’s face after she’d performed the mostcomplex form of the locater spell for the hundredth time; even if Rebekah’slast message to her was lying in her inbox like a vervain bomb, to the pointwhere she felt burned whenever she touched her phone.

Nik’s gone. Just thought you should know.

But toCaroline those were just two other puzzle pieces that she held in her hand.Seemingly crucial ones, yes, but single and misplaced all the same. And shewould not stop until she got the full picture.

Board was setup in her office, turned to the back whenever anyone entered; importantevidences were pinned, lines drawn, leads and inference written in variedcolors. She remembered another board not unlike this from a lifetime ago, whenher then best friend was trying to track down the epic love of her life whiskedaway by the villain out of nowhere.

And now, afterall this time…the kidnapper went missing. The chaser became the chased.

Talk aboutkarma.

Once or twice,or more like a thousand times in the past eight months she’d thought about thepossibility of going back in time and changing it all. Of actually beingpresent at the crime scene instead of being stuck on this cold trail like therenegade cop on some outdated TV show.

But then she’dremember his face when she’d seen him last, such tenderness and vulnerabilityshining through his eyes with sheer passion like molten steel, pulling her inand swallowing her whole, and his low voice all but a whiff of smoke hauntingin his wake, “some battles are destinedto be fought alone, sweetheart.”

And fighttheir own battles they did. Only that his had already been finished, and herswas just beginning.

Or…not.

Caroline’shead snapped up the second she caught the reflection on the wall of her wineglass, the vague outlines of the figure sending a violent jolt through her deadheart, leaving her entire chest paralyzed and aching. Putting down the glasswith a shaky hand, she slowly trod to her glass balcony door, her eyesfixated on the dark shadow of a man on the opposite side.

She hated somuch to admit that with unkempt hair and eight-month worth of beard, drenchedto the bones in rain and weariness, Klaus Mikaelson was still the hottest manshe’d ever seen.

But Klaus’hotness had never saved him from her sharp tongue.

“When Ipictured our possible Rome encounter, I was thinking more along the lines of Roman Holiday with a supernaturalhappy-ending twist, not Pretty Woman.”She stopped two steps from the door, crossing her arms.

Klaus eyed herwith a half-smile, “one of these days I’ll be sure to get to the bottom of allyour lovely little references, Caroline.”

Carolinesnorted, gesturing towards him with her index finger, “this is a little toocreepy, even for you.”

“I’m afraidyou’ll have to be more specific, love.” Klaus repaid her with a cheeky grin.

“Fine, let mespell it out for you. You appear on my balcony at night, in the rain, without asound, after having gone missing for eight whole months.” She tilted her headslightly to the side, silently taking in the rigidness of his body, “like Isaid, creepy.”

“Missing?” Klaus croaked out as iftasting the word on his tongue, a bitterness creeping into his smirk, “that iscertainly an interesting euphemism.”

“So you didfake your own death.” Her eyes sharply bore into his, and the subtle flick ofhis eyelashes was all the confirmation she needed.

Klaus held hergaze almost defiantly for a while before sighing, shaking his head, “and Iwould have stayed dead, if not for your persistent pursuit almost blowing mycover.” He licked his lips, his eyes once again meeting hers, “you’ve been mostdevoted to your students, Headmistress Forbes.”

Even hismasked hesitancy was scorching, the inconspicuous pauses smoldering withunspoken desire and despair.

“Last Ichecked you didn’t exactly fit into the criteria of young and gifted, you know. More like old and temperamental,” Caroline’sface softened at the slight widening of Klaus’ eyes as he registered the truemeaning behind her words, “and impossible to get rid of.”

“You almostmade it sound like a bad thing.”

“Well Icouldn’t decide until I knew for sure, now could I?” Caroline shrugged, “it waslike, Schrodinger’s Hybrid, orwhatever.” She pointed a finger at his raised eyebrows, “don’t say a word. Youcan’t even begin to imagine what you can pick up among a bunch of modern-ageteenagers.”

Klaus clampedhis lips shut with an amused look on his face like he normally did in thesesituations, but Caroline found that she couldn’t even bring herself to getannoyed this time. Even with the glass door between them she could sense thetension pulling at his muscles, the tumultuous thoughts swirling in his brain,the hopelessly unquenched thirst withering away in every fiber of his being,all while they continued with their light-hearted banter as if nothing hadhappened.

But something did happen.

Something thatput invisible lines at the corner his eyes and unnoticeable wrinkles on hisforehead. Something that dragged him and slowed him down even when he stoodtall and still. Something that managed to further age this ageless being-ifthat was at all possible.

Overpowered bya sudden urge to get closer to him, Caroline slid the door open in one swiftmove.

A whirlwind ofsensations instantly hit her vampire senses like she just stepped under awaterfall, and for a moment there she couldn’t breathe, drowned in those keyelements that tingled her skin, infiltrated her lungs and echoed on her tastebuds: Rain. Rome. Klaus.

“And it seemsthat my persistent pursuit paid off.”She carefully kept her voice leveled and her breaths even-one word louder thannecessary and one intake deeper, and she knew she would be done for.

Klaus had thatmuch of an effect on her. Caroline had long since made peace with that fact.

And ever sinceshe stopped blocking out whatever connection sparkling between the two of them,some other details that she once overlooked on purpose became painfully clear.Like how Klaus’ whole being tilted towards her without taking a single stepwhenever she was in the vicinity. A shift in his weight, a tiny turn of hisjaw, an extra layer of allure in his already sinful voice-she didn’t even thinkit was intentional.

“I always knewyou were as stubborn as you were smart, sweetheart.” There was an unusual glintdeep in his eyes, kind of like the one she spotted in the young werewolf’s eyeswhen she left him with a regional pack that was willing to take him in. Partrelieved, part wistful. The kind when you knew you were done roaming alone.

Sensing hisunease, she changed into a lighter tone, “it takes more than some supernaturalgossip to make me fall for your little ruse, you know.”

“Wouldn’tdream of it, love.” Klaus chuckled softly, hanging his head, a curl of hisunruly hair falling into his left eye.

BeforeCaroline realized it, her hand had already reached out on its own accord,gently smoothing the lock to the side. His skin was still wet from the rain,yet so hot to the touch she wondered why there wasn’t any steam forming underher fingers.

As if notrealizing it himself, Klaus leaned into her touch until his temple was restingin the half-hold of her palm. The joint sigh from the unexpected wave ofcomfort charging through startled them both.

Klaus startedto pull away, albeit agonizingly slow, and the emptiness accumulating inCaroline’s palm felt just as palpable as his warm flesh. Acting on pureinstinct, she let her fingers follow his movement attentively, sliding down hisstubbled cheek until they hovered over his jaw line, the friction propelling aninaudible purr from the back of her throat.

“I see the oldsaying still has some merit in it-” Klaus whispered, his breath tickling thetender skin between her fingers, and shivers went through her like an eveningbreeze saturated with the drizzle, making her insides incredibly soft andmellow, “distance does makes the heart grow fonder.”

Apparentlythat inaudible purr was not soinaudible to vampire hearing after all.

Carolinehuffed a little, but her thumb rubbing circles against his jaw was gentle asever, “smug, aren’t we? Never heard of the saying about alleged death makingthe ego grow bigger though.”

Klaus widenedhis eyes, feigning innocence, “why love, I was actually talking about myself.But it’s always flattering to learn that the feeling is mutual.” His lipscurled into a devilish smirk, “though I shouldn’t really be surprised, given thatyou’ve traveled across the ocean for an allegedlydead person.”

“Alleged being the key word.” Carolinewiggled her eyebrows at him, “and if you’ve ever been a mean girl in highschool, you know not to take anything at face value.”

“Can’t saythat I have.” Klaus softly snorted, a playful shimmer dancing in his eyes, “butI guess being an evil villain for athousand years would somewhat suffice.”

“More orless.” Caroline nodded haughtily, biting her lips to keep a straight face, butfailed miserably as a string of laughter rippled out of her. Shaking, her handfell off from his cheek, only to be secured back to its previous place by his.

Carolinecleared her throat, “I’m getting the hang of it anyway.” There was a puzzledlook in Klaus’ eyes, but he didn’t push her, content with just letting hervoice flow around him, while feeling her skin under his callused fingers.

“Imean…there’s always all this rumor about the original hybrid surrounding me.A massacre here, a bit of a torture there, some vicious scheming once in awhile. You know, the usual.” She rolled her eyes a little out of habit, and hemerely hummed, the sound vibrating low in his chest, and Caroline was suddenlymade hyper aware of their proximity.

She loweredher voice accordingly, her eyes stumbling straight into the blue-grey tempestof his, and she weathered it like someone set on chasing the storm, “andthen…there’s you.”

Damaged,troubled, unbelievably lost; wary, earnest, secretly expectant…warm. Living. Real.

His eyes burnther like a hellfire and Caroline could swear his irises were flashing amber fora split second, the beast in him bursting from the barely-held seams. But adeep inhale later he settled for a dark smirk, his eyes now downcast, “do Ilive up to the rumors?”

Carolinesighed, “give yourself some more credit, Klaus.”

“Now don’t goall soft on me, love.” He shook his head a little, humorless chuckle boominginside, faintly like the hauling from a ghost house, “I’m much too jaded foryour pity.”

Damn him for his sorrow-filled dimples.

Caroline couldsee the dark shadows struggling on his face, violent and rampant like some wildcarnivorous vines, or a deadly spell that she once saw a coven of witchesperform in her travels which created a dreadful mark that grew from thevictim’s extremities right to their heart. She didn’t know if she knew him sowell that she could see through his usually airtight façade or if what’d beeneating him inside was just powerful enough to tear that façade apart.

Whatever itwas, she would not leave it alone ashe was probably wishing with all his will power.

Instead sheput a little more pressure under his jaw, gently but firmly forcing him to lookinto her eyes, “do you really think that low of me? Or yourself?”

He staredmotionlessly at her, his face perfectly blank save for the flash ofregistration of his own words thrown back at him. The rain poured down harderin that long drawn-out moment, the wind picking up, stumbling through branchesand buildings and everything in between, but all the noises in the world couldnot have drowned out the deafening silence between them.

Klaus’s hairwas soon all soaked again from the rain blown towards her balcony, drips ofwater gathering on his eyelashes until it finally got overload, and he blinked,heavy and disoriented, the raindrop sliding down his face like a tear, but hiseyes were dry as a lifeless wilderness, cracking into bottomless gorges.

“I don’t know whatto bloody think anymore, Caroline.”

Caroline heardhis whisper in the raging storm, followed by the breaking of her own heart, asshe watched his face crumble in front of her into ruins, and an irrationalvindictive thought filled her heart that the ancient city below their feetshould instantly collapse from the tempest around them, that he should not be the only one fallingapart.

Not alone.

“Then don’t.”She heard herself whisper back, still holding his gaze as her trembling lipsapproached his.

The secondtheir lips touched Caroline knew her senses from earlier were correct-he didtaste like rain. And Rome. And mostly,Klaus. In contrast to his skin, his lips were cold, so Caroline didn’t holdanything back as she licked and sucked and swallowed down anything that stolehis temperature. The raindrops resting on the corner of his mouth, the windcutting through, the initial wince and freezing from Klaus himself, theloneliness, fear and defeat slithering down the surface.

She took them all.

Soon they wereall tangled up without a way out-eager tongues, hot breaths, clinging limbs,incoherent moans. His hand was holding the back of her head to him with so muchforce while his tongue plunged through her mouth, as if he didn’t know whichcould get him closer to her faster.

Carolinereached up to lose her fingers in the curls at the nape of his neck, addingjust the right amount of pressure while her pinky gently brushed his pulsepoint. The gesture seemed to ground him, as Klaus’ motions became less frantic.He retreated his tongue a little to more thoroughly ravage her already swollenlips, his body slowly relaxing only to envelop her in a steaming cocoon asevery curve of them fit seamlessly into each other.

The onlynon-Klaus sensation floating in the peripheral of her consciousness was theraindrops sizzling at the back of her exposed hand.

When theyfinally pulled back, both breathing hard, Caroline cupped Klaus’ cheek againwith her hand that was caressing his chest just seconds ago, “I’m glad. That youare alive.”

They werestill so close she could almost feel the shape of his smile with her own.

“You don’tseem too surprised.”

She shrugged alittle, “I’ve only once truly believed in your demise, and that was a long timeago.”

And sheliterally danced on his grave that time. How things have changed.

“Not even whenyou came to New Orleans for the first time?” His tone was so casual it took agood two seconds before his question sank in.

“What…? Howdid you…?” Her own inquiries died on her tongue before they fully made out ofher lips. Of course he knew. And it suddenly dawned on Caroline that one of thereasons she could be so…her aroundhim was because deep down, she always assumed that he knew.

So she justshook her head, “not even then.”

He lowered hiseyes, a ghost of a smile donning the corner of his lips, “it warms my heartthat you would seek my help in times of need, Caroline,” even through hishooded eyelashes the intensity of his gaze still penetrated her like lightening, electric flames roaring through her veins, “but it alsopains me that I was not there to lessen your woes.”

Caroline couldhear his tiny gasp when she pressed her lips to his cheek, “then it’s a goodthing I’m here for yours.”

He stared ather for a long minute, an amazed look softening every line on his face, as ifhe couldn’t quite believe she was real, “in these past months I’ve wondered ifthis was what it felt like on the other side. Watching on the sideline, alllinks to the living severed…as far as the rest of the world’s concerned, I nolonger exist.”

He was tryinghard to contain the tremor in his voice, but his tightening grip aroundCaroline’s waist gave him away, “and yet now, looking at you…” he blinked a fewtimes, searching her face for something that Caroline suspected even he himselfwasn’t sure was there. But he clearly found it, as he let out a quiet sigh, theblue in his eyes stilling to a mirror in which Caroline could see her ownsearching ones, “I think I’ve found my anchor.”

Caroline couldpractically feel his gaze brushing every inch of her, drinking her in like shewas the only color in a world of endless grey.

She knew itwas a skewered perception. And she would show it to him, starting tomorrow-Romehad the richest colors you could dream of, the murals, the architecture, thefruits and wine, the sun…she would show him all. But today she would just focuson getting him dry and clean. That was enough for now.

So she tookhis hand and wordlessly led him into the secluded light and warmth of her room.

With a smilethat for the first time tinted his eyes that night, he wordlessly let her.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #476

“yeah, i am the brain, some say insane”

What is your favorite Pixar film? Finding Nemo. Who was the last person to send you any sort of message on social media? My sister Misty. Would you rather build a snowman or a snow fort? Why? Snowman. I think you can personalize them better. At what age do you believe children should begin having screen time? I don't know. I guess it would depend on the kid. Have you ever failed an important test? Which subject? Yes; I failed my last Algebra final and the course. Who taught you how to ride a bike? How old were you? My dad. Idr how old I was. Do you know what your ring size is? What is it? Nope. When you picture dinosaurs in your head, what color are they? Like a darkish red or green. Last candy you tried that you did not enjoy? Or one that you did enjoy? No clue. Were you a chubby or thin baby? I was your average size. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve considered doing lately? Trying to get a cubicle job. Like seriously, NOBODY wants those. I don't either, but I just don't know what other options I have that don't require a degree and I'm not flocked by other people. I'd probably have some duties on the phone, but like... I'm not going to find a job I qualify for that is perfectly reclusive. Have you ever known somebody who ran away? Not personally, no. Rollercoasters that go upside-down… yes please or no thank you? NO FUCKING THANK YOU. Can you have kids? I would assume so, but honestly I wish I physically couldn't with how intensely I fear being raped. Are you a fan of Elton John? I've never really listened to his music and know very little about him as an individual. What does your town’s name begin with? "R." Are you a seafood fan? Nooooo. The one and only seafood I enjoy is shrimp. Give me a random word in another language. Tell me what it means. "Himmel" is "Heaven" in German. Odd how that was the first one to come to me, ha ha. Which city would you like to visit- Rome, Tunis, London, Madrid or Paris? Rome. New tats in your near future? Sadly no. :/ I have to focus on more important things. Did you ever participate in beauty pageants as a child? No. I don't support those. Have you ever ridden in a limousine before? No, but I've always wanted to. :( What's the most amount of money you'd pay for a house or a vehicle? Idk, considering I'm not familiar enough with what is considered reasonable and average for either. What's the longest wait time you'll wait at a restaurant to be seated? If it was actually up to me, shit, maybe only 15 minutes. I am way too impatient, and I'd rather just go to another place than wait for a while. Have you ever been given a responsibility that you couldn't handle? Did you mean: my past three jobs? Did you ever try to start a club as a child? For what? I feel like my friends and I did before... but I remember nothing of it. Who was your favorite babysitter as a child? My sister had this friend in our neighborhood as a kid whose grandparents used to watch us. The grandpa we knew as "Uncle Donny," and he was bar none our favorite. He was such a sweet man. Have you ever cared for a stray animal before? Cats, on many occasions in the past. [TW: SUICIDE/OVERDOSE] Have you ever contacted a suicide or crisis services hotline? For whom? Yeah, for me. I tried first to reach them online in one of those private chatrooms, but I want to say I waited around 30 minutes with nobody available. I was so desperate that I tried calling too, but again, it was too busy. That's when I ODed. Is there anyone from your family that you no longer associate with? I have an uncle by marriage that's an abusive, manipulative fuck that NOBODY associates with, except his brainwashed daughters. Do you have any illnesses that reoccur frequently? I mean, I have mental illnesses that flare up now and again, but no traditional illnesses. What is your sexual orientation? Queer or pansexual, idk man. Have you ever done any drugs harder than marijuana? I've never even done weed. What is one job you would never want to have? I would, no exaggeration, rather die than be a butcher. I could never in five trillion years. Do you bite or peel your string cheese? I don't like string cheese. Who crosses your mind the most? Girt, nowadays. I know, a fucking shocker who wasn't the answer. Have you ever been on a scavenger hunt? In school, yeah. Ever been to an auction? No. Are there two colors that you just simply despise? Puke green and yellow. If you were a fish, what colour would you like to be? I wanna be the Rainbow Fish. :') Did your first real significant other change you at all? You have literally no idea. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? No. What’s your favorite football team? I don't like football. Or even understand it. Do you have anything autographed by a celebrity? No. What’s your favorite way to eat peanut butter? Gimme a Reese's and I'm a happy bitch. :^) What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? I'm basic, just hand me a pb&j. How are you today? Worried about my mother since she has Covid now. I'm not feeling too hot, either. Was any of your home decor inspired by Pinterest? No. What is this month’s calendar picture? I don't own a current calendar. What is your last ex-boyfriend’s or ex-girlfriend’s name? Sara Jane. I prefer to refer to her as just my best friend, though; "ex" usually implies negative feelings in some way or form, and I've none of those. Do you use Snapchat? I never have. Would you rather go out for pancakes or steak? Yum, pancakes. Are you the clubbing type? No. Clubs don't appeal to me at all. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen him in literally years. I wouldn't know. What is unattractive about them? The fact he apparently can't accept a mentally ill partner. Supposedly, he broke up with the girl he dated after me for the same reason he left me: her having depression. Like bro, good fucking luck finding a girl who doesn't struggle with something. Good luck finding someone who's going to be on Cloud 9 all the time. And also, he never communicated what he was feeling. Do you have a crap load of friends to hang out with? God no. The only person I hang out with is my boyfriend. Honeymoon, where? Alaska, if it's a good time of year to see the Northern Lights. If not, maybe the Bahamas to visit their black and pink beaches. The heat and humidity put me off, though... Lipstick over the actual natural lip line, your thoughts? It's capable of being attractive if done well and it's not too extreme, unless you're only looking from a distance. It can look especially great on drag queens imo. How would your wedding bouquet look like? Depends on the time of year, really. I kind of want to say black regardless, but I think that would blend too much with my dress (which I want to be black). Maybe if it was in the fall, which I want, it'd be orange and black to fit the Halloween vibe I'd love to have as a theme, perhaps a rich red, or light pink and white... idk. That's far in the future. What kind of game would you like to play that doesn’t exist yet? Bro, give me a meerkat simulator. There's the Lead the Meerkats Wii game that I ADORE, but I think the concept could be greatly expanded upon and made more realistic. What is one thing you would never ever eat? Balut came to mind very quickly. That looks like the grossest shit imaginable. I'll never forget seeing it for the first time on GMM and wondering how neither of them literally died where they sat lmao. There are a LOT of other foods, too. I'm incredibly picky. Which character in your favorite movie do you hate the most? Every single character from The Lion King is so lovable. Which non-existing (sci-fi and such) weapon and/or vehicle would you like to own/use? Bro, I want Thori'dal from WoW. A bombin' bow with unlimited, magical arrows? That shit's dope. Could save your life, and plus I love bows. How do you think the world will end? Humanity's end will almost certainly be rooted in human action. The end of the planet itself will probably be a black hole, gamma ray, or something else supremely powerful. If you could take a pill that would cure something in you that isn’t an illness - what would you be cured of? The fact I'm fat. :^) Take it all away pls. Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? If so, who? My ex. Do you remember anyone’s number by heart? Literally nobody's. Not even my own. :x Name something you will never try in your lifetime. Hunting. What’s the best place you have ever eaten at? The Cheesecake Factory, omlllll. Are you at home right now? Yep. What’s worse: Crocs or Uggs? Crocs are so fucking ugly to me. Do you knock before you open doors? Always. Does Fred from YouTube annoy you? Now THIS is a throwback. I liked him as a kid. He'd probably annoy the shit out of me now. Anything exciting taking place today? No. Who have you texted today? My mother and Becky, the receptionist at my psychiatrist's office. I rescheduled my appointment to tomorrow with my mom being sick (she wants to talk to him, and she's in no shape to today) and me not feeling well, either. Do you like grapefruits? No. Have you ever had the Reese’s PB candy bars? Omfg, the ones that are a bar of smaller squares is my FAVORITE candy in the world. Where’s your mother? In bed. She was directed to mostly quarantine in her room away from me. Are there any pets you’re wishing for? Always. :( Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? I HATE raisins, so guess. Is your belly button pierced? No. Do you watch PewDiePie? Not anymore, no. His content changed a long time ago and doesn't interest me anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" Omg my sister showed it to me once and I hated it. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? uhhh *checks* I have 71. More than I expected, ha ha. What’s the first word that comes to your mind if I say: "Boop!" Booping a snake on the nose. :'3 Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? Nah. I enjoy watching YouTubers play it, and I like the franchise, it's just not my kind of game to actually play. Can you twerk? Oh god, never tried, don't want to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. It looks like you're smelling your armpit, dude. Can money buy you happiness? You are 110% full of shit if you think it can't to some degree. I would be so, so much happier if I wasn't poor. Have you heard of Blizzard Entertainment? Well, considering they're the company that owns World of Warcraft, obviously.

[awhilesince]

Monday, 28 June 1830

6 

11 50/..

off from home in fiacre at 6 55/.. – at the amphitheatre at 7 35/.. so obliged to sit in the benches with the students – Desfontaines Leçon 17ième from 7 1/2 to 8 1/2 – breakfast – Leçon 32 Brongniart from 9 to 10 40/.. – Leçon 19 De Blainville from 10 50|.. to 12 23/.. – Leçon 14 Geoffroy St. Hilaire from 12 1/2 to 1 20/.. – 

from 2 to 4 1/2 wrote and sent off to the Embassy 4 pages to ‘Miss Maclean 43 Mornington Place, Hampstead road’ – my letter a very Kind one – mention the likelihood of my going with Lady Stuart de R– (Rothesay), but do not know exactly when – will write, and Tell her, as soon as I know myself – say she is coming at the very worst season of the year, and does not give Paris fair play – I myself do not like it in the dog days, and tho’ I thought and think the change would do her good, yet she ought not to begin with the smells and heat of July and August – glad enough to get away myself at that time – do not exactly say this to my aunt because it might unsettle her, and her moving is next to impossible – beside such is her state of health, and the melancholy falling off of her companionable powers, I doubt whether Miss Maclean would not feel the want of me more than I should feel comfortable to fancy she did – think she had better not come till my return – Heaven direct her for the best – very kind letter – 

then disappointed of the milk I was to had at 3, and being thirsty took a glass of very weak brandy and water and some biscuits – slumbered a little – wrote out the first 9 lines of Saturday Till 6 10/.. – 

off at 6 25/.. – fiacre from Place Maubert and home at 7 – found letters from the Embassy 2 1/2 pages from Miss Maclean the 21st ‘my birthday aged 46’ the very age at which she had always fancied she should die – she says she is better but owns her cheeks are very hollow, and that she had had another very bad cold since writing and indirectly that she is very unfit to move – she says when she crosses the channel it will be ‘in spite of everyone’ – they all want her to go home – ‘they really torment me with their plans’ – she means to spend 3 months with me (‘I feel as if the change of air and scene would do me great good’) and then if she lives spent part of the winter with her friends the Lawrences who are returned – she complains ‘my head has for some days past a vile pain in it’ – In fact, I do not think she will continue very long – her foreboding’s are likely enough to be realized that she will not outlive this year that she is 46 – 

2 half sheets from Miss Hobart – Charles Stuart is most obliged to me for pointing out such a nice route, but he could not spare money enough beside it is now fixed that he goes to Ostend starts as today… Brussels Namur, Liège Aix la C– (Chapelle) Cologne to Frankfort and there quits his friend to join Lady S– (Stuart) de R– (Rothesay) here for the Pyrennees … 

‘I can imagine nothing more comfortable and pleasant than your party if you join your forces to those of Lady Stuart’ …. It seems Miss Maclean ‘had spit a quantity of blood in consequence of the lump bursting in her throat beside the outward oozing by Mr Long’s stuff application’ – Lady Stuart ‘has the worst opinion of her, but Sibbella herself never seems to ‘despair’ – 

in the other 1/2 sheet Miss H– (Hobart) says Miss Maclean 

‘has most unwillingly come to the resolution of giving up all thoughts of Paris for the present ……. Aunt Stuart tries daily to prepare me for the worst ……. but I must say she was more cheerful today (the 25th) than last Sunday …. she still looks forward in hope to the autumn to join you in Paris – after your rambles’ –

Alas! that autumn will never come to poor dear Sibbella, and I shall see her no more in this world – the thought of going over to her is out of the question – there would be danger to myself in her present state, and under my present circumstances I have no right, no excuse, to sport so uselessly with life – well! all things draw to an end here, and there is almost an end to Earthly friendship with Sibbella – Romantic dream! farewell my dearest Sibbella’ – I shall perhaps remain yet a little while to remember and enjoy the good you have done me, and then perhaps the same mysterious mansion shall contain us both! – 

In Vere’s packet, a hurried 1 1/2 pages from Lady Gordon in style far different from that of Vere or Sibbella – 

‘I have said nothing to nobody, so don’t you – but supposing that next October I met you at Paris – what should you say to proceeding via Nice to winter at Rome?’

2 carriages would hold us – must have governess and children at meals on the road, but not when settled – 

‘Besides tho’ married to each other – would be a fashionable pair, and be as independent as we chose, and each do her own way – what do you think?’ 

going to her ‘own people’ in Herefordshire but if I relished the plan would make arrangements for letting her house etc etc ‘R.S.V.P’ ‘yours sincerely CDG– (Caroline Duff Gordon) always direct here’ – Mind not much in consonance with my own! But that is not the obstacle – my aunt is not in a state (evidently more and more anasarcously inclined) for me to give in to this plan – I am not quite sure that I should like it? must be at home to settle about leaving Paris, or Taking another house, or arranging to stay where we are next year at this time – yes! must be at home in May – 

how would Lady Stuart de Rothesay like the plan had I better stick more to her  I am as wordly in this respect as Lady Gordon  the money too is a consideration  would it answer thus to marry a person of such manner as I know everyone does not like  I doubt whether she stands high with Lady Stuart de Rothesay I shall refuse but most amiably and civilly – 

dressed – dinner at 7 25/.. – mentioned the hopelessness of Miss Maclean’s coming, and having heard from Lady G– (Gordon) but said not a word of her plan – nor shall I name it – my poor aunt would be nervous if she thought there was the least chance of my really going so far so soon – read the paper – 

came to my room at 9 – writing notes of today etc coffee at 10 – came to my room at 10 1/2 at which hour Fahrenheit 57 1/2° – rainy morning till after 8 – then frequent and heavyish showers till after 4 – and then pretty fair in the evening – wrote note to Monsieur Monod to say young Waterhouse would be here in a month, and that if Monsieur Monod would write to Mr W– (Waterhouse) (gave his address) all particulars of Extra masters etc I thought the business would be arranged at once –

reference number: SH:7/ML/E/13/0057, SH:7/ML/E/13/0058

[deathonyourtongue]

Winter Passing | Chapter 6

Summary: After car accident leaves him at the base of a mountain with no sign of civilization for miles, a breakup is the least of Henry’s problems. Just as death’s icy fingers begin to coil around him, salvation presents itself in the form of an old cabin in a clearing. Despite years of being told fairy tales and ghost stories that warn against such things, he uses his last of his strength to reach the cottage. When he wakes, he finds not a demon, but an angel, long removed from the insanity of the modern world. Pairing: AU!Henry Cavill x OFC Word Count: 2K Warnings: Smutty goodness, but not like you think. A/N : Bet you can’t guess the song being sung in this chapter!

I  II  III  IV V

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Tiago had never been the most graceful of birds. A parrot by technicality of his species alone, the fact that he could fly at all was something of an affront to nature. With cartoonish eyes that got comically wide whenever he was indignant (which was often), and a plump, squat body that was too heavy to be aerodynamic in any way, he defied all odds as he tumbled through the wind currents, simply happy to be away from his home and made truly useful yet again.

“But have you heard the story of the rabbit in the moon? Or the cow that hopped the planets while straddling a spoon or she, who leapt up mountains, while whistling up a tune and swapped her songs with swallows while riding on a broom?” He sang to himself as he played in the trade winds, looping and curling and sometimes falling a little too close to the water for his own liking. 

When he reached Cuba, Tiago allowed himself to be ping-ponged violently from the Trades into the Westerlies, shivering as the colder currents tossed him up the Atlantic coast towards the woman who lived in the clearing at the bottom of the mountain. 

“‘Take the message to the woman with the sad eyes,’ they said. ‘It’ll be fun,’ they said.” He mocked his keepers in his usual aristocratic squawk. As he spoke, Tiago’s head plunged into the frigid water that hemmed New Jersey, a screech replacing his dignified words as he shook the quickly-forming icicles off his neon green feathers. 

“THEY NEVER SAID I WAS FLYING INTO THE WITCH’S TIT ON THE SHADY SIDE OF THE ICEBERG!” He hollered, flapping his short wings frantically to try and get over the worst of the air stream, hoping that hot air truly did rise and that he could gain some of that warm balmy feeling once more before having to plummet back down to earth.

Though it was only mildly warmer above the current, Tiago found himself worn out from his exertions, only managing to float above the cold air for half of New York before plunging back down and riding the frozen spiral of wind towards his destination.

“‘Where the earth meets the water, that’s where you shall find her. Where once was blood now only tears. Behind the White Mountain, reside your peers.’” Tiago recited, his keen yellow eyes quickly finding the spot, wings tucking in close to his body as he went into a free fall towards the small cottage. 

The sound of his body cutting clumsily through the air caught Dyster’s attention, and despite enjoying a leisurely snack of leftover rabbit innards, his sleek black wings lifted him up like a bullet piercing the air. The two birds collided mid-flight, squawks and screeches like sirens in the otherwise-silent clearing. 

“UNHAND ME, YOU SAVAGE! I COME ON THE ORDER OF THEOFINA!” 

“Theo-who? Get off my land, you overgrown avocado!”

“Avo-Avocado! How dare you! Where is your mis--LET GO!--mistress?!?”

Spinning mid-air in a ball of green and black feathers, the two birds made such a ruckus that it woke Gunnar out of a dead sleep. Looking out the back door, he began to bark, knowing Olivia would want to see what was happening. 

The racket woke both Olivia and Henry, and while the latter quickly rolled over and went back to sleep, Olivia knew Gunnar’s warning bark when she heard it. Putting on a sheer robe, she flew down the stairs, sliding to a stop next to the husky and following his gaze out to the stone circle.

“What in the…” she mused, Olivia slipping into her boots and stepping outside without a thought for the cold. 

“Dyster! What are you doing? Let go of it!” 

Hearing his mistress’ voice, Dyster unceremoniously dropped Tiago right into Gunnar’s open mouth, the husky holding the parrot gently in his maw.

“Oh, the torment! This is how I perish, at the hands of brutes! Mercy, mistress, I beg of you!” Tiago lamented dramatically, Gunnar rolling his eyes and giving Tiago a test squeeze before letting him fall to the snow with a wet plop. Olivia bent down and quickly picked up the parrot, brushing the snow off him and checking to make sure neither raven nor husky did any permanent damage.

“Thank you, fair maiden. I come on command of Theofina of the Order Athanato Fengari-” “Order of the Immortal Moon, I know. What does she want?” Olivia rolled her eyes at Tiago’s pageantry, already knowing her answer to whatever command Theofina had for her. 

“My mistress requests your presence at the Order’s Imbolc festivities. Says she has important business to discuss with you regarding the past and your future.” 

Olivia took in the words, remembering what the tea leaves had shown earlier; Good direction, a warning, travel, and the masculine. It was more than coincidence that an invitation to Rome should come not even a full day after the leaves had signaled travel. Already, they’d been right about the masculine and with a quick look over her shoulder at Henry’s window, Olivia was more and more certain that the leaves were, yet again, correct in their prophecy. 

Tiago eyed Olivia warily as he waited for her answer, keen to get back to warmer skies and even warmer land. 

“Don’t rush her, you useless sack of cabbage. She’ll answer when she’s good and ready.” Dyster cut in before the parrot could speak, landing gracefully on Olivia’s arm before pecking at Tiago as though testing his doneness.

“Dyster, be good. He’s an emissary, not dinner.”

“Shame. He’d make for good barbecue,” Gunnar replied before Dyster could, licking his chops as he growled quietly at Tiago, both he and Dyster ready to end the intruder should he step out of line. 

“No one’s getting eaten!” Olivia said, her voice a little louder than she intended. With an exasperated sigh, she looked down at Tiago. “Tell your mistress she’ll have an answer after the new year.”

“But, she’ll make me-”

“New Year, Tiago. No discussion.” She cut him off, reading his name on the tag around his neck, one Tiago clearly forgot he had on by the look of shock on his face. 

“So it’s true! Once again my mistress proves her superiority in all things, including secret knowledge. I shall fly home at once and pass along your remarks! Good day, my lady of sadness.”

The trio watched as Tiago took flight, their heads all crooked to the right as they each tried to figure out how such a hefty creature could defy gravity. 

“It’s a spell, right?” Gunnar asked, eyes unmoving as they watched Tiago fumble his way higher and higher.

“Gotta be.” Dystra answered, fighting the urge to fly up after Tiago for just a little more fun.

“Who knows. Pompous little creature...” Olivia shook her head, turning to go back inside once Tiago was out of sight. 

“Offensive too. Should’ve let me eat him....” Gunnar added, following her in as Dyster flew back to his perch.

Not looking up until she was well inside the house, Olivia shrieked, shut her eyes, and covered herself as much as she could when she came face-to-face with an equally nude Henry.

“WHY ARE YOU NAKED?!?” She cried out, trying to find her way around her guest, but managing only to hit her hip on the kitchen counter, the collision strong enough to shoot pain right down her leg like a flash.

“I WAS GONNA TAKE A BATH! I THOUGHT YOU WERE OUT DOING STUFF ALREADY! WHY ARE YOU NAKED?!?”

“IT’S MY HOUSE AND I SLEEP HOW I WANT, HENRY!!” She yelled, the pain amplifying her frustration with a morning that had already gone sideways.

Cracking open one eye, Olivia placed her free hand at the right level to cover Henry’s crown jewels, her eyebrows knitting together in annoyance. 

“I’m going upstairs. Don’t look.” She muttered, her frown growing deeper as her words earned her a chuckle from Henry, his tone deep and warm. 

“Too late for that, love.” He answered, the smile in his voice matching his humor. 

To her chagrin, Henry’s laugh, coupled with his words, made her feel things she’d not felt in some time, and it only made getting upstairs all the more imperative. Scurrying past, she did her best to keep her eyes on something other than his nude form, but as she began to climb, it was impossible to miss the view of his pert backside. Olivia knew what she had to do, but doing it with full knowledge of what Henry would be doing downstairs--and of how quiet everything would be in the house as a whole--made the prospect seem nearly impossible. 

Still, Olivia was certain there’d be no other way to turn the morning around, and so once in the solace of her room, with no animals or naked houseguests around, she let her robe slip off her body and climbed into bed. Slipping open the top drawer of her night stand, she pulled out what she needed, and doing her best to relax, tried to let the confusion of the morning slip away in favor of letting her imagination run wild.

Downstairs, Henry had managed to fill the tub, testing the water to make sure he wouldn’t scald himself. The last thing he needed was to be even more invalid than he already was. Lowering himself into the water, he closed his eyes as the warmth enveloped him, his own mind working overtime not only because of his morning encounter with Olivia, but because of the dream he simply couldn’t shake. Weirdly erotic, the dream came back in bits and pieces; Olivia standing nude outside, Gunnar at her feet, the dog protecting her from something Henry couldn’t quite see. More than anything, he remembered that he too was nude and holding himself in his hand for some reason. The more he thought about it, the more his body took over. Before he knew it, Henry was stroking himself slowly under the water, his cock already half-hard given the time of day and the addition of the dream.

His body relaxing, Henry was just starting to get into a rhythm, when the soft sounds of Olivia moaning cut through the silence. Smiling to himself, he closed his eyes and focused on the melodic expression of pleasure, letting his imagination play out a fantasy that had been brewing since she’d first gotten him into the tub and handed him the too-small towel.

It was easy to picture making love to Olivia in the tub, water flooding the floor as he gave her as much pleasure as she could handle, his own intensified by the movement of her body against his. His hand tightened around his length as he stroked, imagining Olivia’s petite frame moving with fluidity and grace, her breasts a perfect fit for his hands as she took him in hard and deep, gasping as he filled and stretched her.

In her bed, Olivia’s own fantasy played out somewhat differently. As she slipped the ornate glass dildo in and out of her soaked entrance, she pictured Henry flattening her to the mattress, his front pressing into her back as he rutted into her like a stallion mounting a mare in estrus. Legs splaying wide of their own accord, Olivia could almost feel the press of his warm lips to her face and neck, the pressure building inside her with each stroke of Henry’s proxy. In her mind, he was as wonderful in bed as he was a houseguest; tender yet lively, and knowing exactly how to make her smile even as he made her scream. 

Panting, Olivia pushed the toy in and out at a faster clip, her juices darkening the sheets beneath her as the thought of Henry taking her worked her into a frenzied state of arousal the likes of which no other man--real or imagined--had ever managed before. 

Whimpering keenly as she felt the heat bloom inside her, Olivia knew one orgasm simply wouldn’t cut it. Her thighs trembled as she thought about the press of his weight on top of her, the heat of his body setting her own alight. Most of all, she thought about willingly suffering in order to have his full length inside her, remembering clearly how big he was, even soft. Aroused by the notion that she’d have to work through discomfort to get all of him in, she found herself gasping and rolling onto her hands and knees, the dildo plunging in and out of her at even greater speeds as her wetness slipped lewdly down her inner thighs.

Henry did his best to keep the water from splashing as he matched his strokes to Olivia’s moans and whimpers, his mind turning to what she might be doing to herself upstairs. Having caught an eye-full when she’d come inside, Henry had no problems picturing her bare, pink pussy as she pleasured herself. His cock jerked in his hand as he thought about her hips squirming and jolting up as she toyed with her clit or slipped her fingers inside herself. Nipples hard and chest heaving, she looked radiant in his mind, a goddess worthy of worship, one who he’d gladly drown between the thighs of. Biting the inside of his cheek, Henry managed to stay silent as he came, his hand never stopping its motion as he shot his load all over his own chest, every muscle pulled taut.

He couldn’t help his breathless smirk as he heard Olivia reach her own pinnacle, shivering in delight as her sounds made it clear she was going for more.

[rainydawgradioblog]

RDR Essentials - Hip-Hop/R&B (2/10)

RDR Essentials is a weekly newsletter of alternating genres that outlines key releases of the past month, upcoming events around Seattle and happenings in the specified music genre.

Made in collaboration between Rainy Dawg DJs and the Music Director.

Releases:

Playboi Carti- Whole Lotta Red

Playboi Carti’s long-awaited sophomore album, Whole Lotta Red, finally arrived Christmas day, and to say that the reception of the project by fans has been mixed would be an understatement. Discourse surrounding this album’s release permeated into the new year and further, with longtime fans finding Carti’s switch into a more aggressive and unrefined sound for much of the record off-putting. Yet, if there is any outstanding strength that this record’s allure can be attributed to, it is certainly that boldness, and Carti’s raw energy. Vocals are often rough, with Carti’s vocals ranging in inflection, volume, intensity, and even intelligibility all within a few bars. Tracks like the booming “Stop Breathing” and opener “Rockstar Made” demonstrate a Carti that sounds absolutely furious, straining his voice and almost screaming, whereas cuts like the nonsensical “JumpOutTheHouse” and “New Tank” feel like a punch to the face. This album is less filled with the usual sickly-sweet Pierre Bourne beats Carti’s previous work has become known for, to the disappointment of many fans. Yet that sugar-trap vibe combines with heavy bass and high-energy on highlights such as the demented ice-cream-truck-theme “Teen X” which sees Future even leaning into Carti’s lane. Further, the punk-meets-vampire energy that’s been ascribed to this project and its promotion manifests on tracks like “Vamp Anthem”, which sounds laughable on first impression but sticks in the mind like an infectious funeral accompaniment. It’s not a perfect record by any means: it’s far too long, with a second half that drifts into familiar yet almost lazy territory, and is populated by sparse features that either feel right at home, such as Kid Cudi on the ethereal “M3tamorphosis” to downright bizarre like Kanye West on “Go2DaMoon.” What it is, however, at least at its’ best moments, is genuinely boundary-pushing. Its highs are missing the sticky baby-voiced earworms of Die Lit, but in their stead comes a far more raw and unique sound. Carti’s new description of himself as punk and a “rockstar” has pushed the buttons of those who feel ownership over those terms: in a way, that makes him far more punk than anything we’ve seen in years.

- Casey Chamberlain

billy woods & Moor Mother- Brass

Few rappers are as veiled and unrelentingly hard to understand as MC billy woods, and few artists in the last few years have made as much of an artistic statement as poet Moor Mother. To see the two meet up on a full-length project sets a certain expectation, of grim realization and disturbingly poignant tidbits. Amazingly enough, Brass delivers on all one might expect from either of the two: a project draped in an ethereally disturbing energy and soundscape, and a vehicle for the dispersal of wisdom seemingly long locked away. The energy that woods and Moor Mother provide is often dreary, yet filled with understanding, with each retaining much of their signature style. Woods' verses feel laced with nods to vignettes and far away stories, as his best verses are want to do: “Cinders in the wind, ashes in your mouth/ It's too late to repent/ You owe and we here to collect/ You know how it go over in debt/ Numbers scribbled on butcher's paper/ A bad wager/ We waved every day, but good fences make good neighbors” woods relays on “Blak Forrest.” Moor Mother’s voice commands, filling the ears with an almost terrifying sense of understanding: “I only write for the dead, somethin' ELUCID said/ Wrong words get you cracked in the head” she asserts on “Gang For A Day”, referencing rapper ELUCID, with whom billy woods forms the duo Armand Hammer. ELUCID himself makes a few appearances on the record, alongside Mach-Hommy, Navy Blue, and Fielded, among others.

Tracks on the record range from terrifyingly chaotic, such as the vocal-less “Mom’s Gold”, morphing into a full on assault of harsh noise, to hauntingly gorgeous, such as on the flickeringly ethereal “Giraffe Hunts”: “It’s beautiful” woods himself remarks, prior to a verse that transitions into a sinister beat change which Moor Mother uses to offer a retort, as the track flips back and forth between this beauty and the filth. It’s perhaps this track which best offers a glimpse of the artistic contrast the two provide on this album. “The zoo had a decapitated giraffe/ A dedicated staff of volunteers, the acid was bad/ The gift shop was packed” woods relays, only to be cut off by Moor Mothers’ own ruminations: “Saw men draw meridians through life lines/ Why we tip-toe 'round these land mines and fault lines/ Feel the earth movin', flat earth see-saw/ Me and Woods in the rickshaw being pulled by horses/ I'm hearin' voices.” In truth, this is a record with many quotables, so infuriatingly dense and with so many thought-provoking segments that little does it justice apart from listening with full attention. An album like this feels like one that has lessons to be learned and knowledge to be gained; knowledge that perhaps should be known, but is hard to come to terms with. “But you the one what strung the rope” woods remarks. “We sacked Rome in ski-masks, stripped the pope/ Nowadays he never miss a lot, he be doin' the most... He be doin' the most.”

- Casey Chamberlain

Kid Cudi- Man On The Moon III: The Chosen

Few artists of the last decade have proven to have had such a large influence on the sounds that would follow them as Kid Cudi. The music of megastars like Travis Scott wouldn’t exist as it does without Scott Mescudi, an artist who has long been held near and dear by his fans due to his brutal honesty about his struggles with mental health, depression, and substances. Cudi’s 2009 debut album, Man On The Moon: The End Of Day, is held as a classic of its time, and for good reason, Cudi’s artistry, storytelling, and intimacy on that album is still astounding. With Cudi’s resurgence in the last few years following his critically adored collaboration with Kanye West, Kids See Ghosts, in 2018, Cudi has seemingly sought to continue his hot streak with the long-awaited third installment of the Man On The Moon series, being Man On The Moon III: The Chosen.

On first listen, this album sounds a lot like Cudi has been influenced by those who followed him rather than the other way around. Much of the first half of the record sounds like it would fit right at home on a Travis Scott album, much like last year's collaborative track between the two, aptly titled “The Scotts.” Tracks like “She Knows This” and “Tequila Shots” feature a spacey, drugged out trap vibe, with the former breaking into a groovy beat switch in its last portion. Meanwhile, other tracks branch out into new territory for Cudi, such as the drill-inspired and in-your-face “Show Out” which features a hook from the late Pop Smoke as well as a fantastic verse from Skepta, while “Rockstar Knights” features Cudi and Trippie Redd trading melodic ruminations. For much of this project, it would be easy to interpret much of this as Cudi’s takes on a number of styles birthed from his original run, and while it certainly is that, the wide swath of sounds that Cudi pulls from speaks more to his unseen influence than anything else, making much of the record feel like a statement: that without Kid Cudi, there is no Travis Scott and no Trippie Redd, so Cudi’s steps into their lanes feel like reclamation rather than imitation. Yet, the record’s strongest moments come mostly in the back half, where Cudi falls back into old habits and channels an almost updated version of the sound he originally burst onto the scene with. Tracks like “Solo Dolo III” and the gorgeous “The Void” feel like exactly what a matured “Man on the Moon” would sound like and tracks like “Lovin’ Me” featuring Phoebe Bridgers harken back to Cudi’s experiments in indie rock years ago, albeit more successfully. All in all, Man On The Moon III feels like a victory lap of sorts, a more mature Cudi revisiting the sounds he popularized and making a statement: that he is back, and better than ever.

- Casey Chamberlain

The Avalanches - We Will Always Love You

There is little an artist can do to combat the expectations they face after releasing a record like The Avalanches’ 2000 masterpiece Since I Left You, one of the most highly regarded plunderphonics records ever released. To follow up an album like that is no small feat, and the duos’ 2016 follow-up,  Wildflower, is a commendable release, although a different beast entirely. It’s with the groups’ newest release that their strategy with that record has been reaffirmed: the only way to follow up a record of such stature as Since I Left You is to simply not do so. The Avalanches’ We Will Always Love You is more 2016 Avalanches than it is 2000s; it’s a sprawling, grand project with features from some of the most talented artists working across the board, focused less on instrumental epics comprised of samples and more on flowing backdrops for their guests to flaunt their talents. Themed around the vastness of space and the Golden Record on the Voyager, the extraterrestrial-ness of the record permeates its every corner; its grandness feels like its statement, as it stands larger than the sum of its parts. An air of nostalgia flows through it, laced with voice memos from a woman professing, over the length of the record, that though she is now gone, perhaps departed from the mortal plane, she will “always love you.”

The features on the album are an achievement on their own: any album featuring this wide of a swath of talent must be commended for its boldness. To hear Denzel Curry, Rivers Cuomo, MGMT, Pink Siifu, Blood Orange, Kurt Vile, and countless others on a project together and have it sound cohesive is a miracle on its own. The interstellar nature of the album doesn’t always come across, and it’s a weighty record, at an hour and eleven minutes, and not every moment feels like it contributes to that runtime. It isn’t a perfect record by any means, and for many, especially those who fell in love with the record scratches and horse neighs of “Frontier Psychiatrist” are likely to be still disappointed in the trajectory of the prodigal sons of plunderphonics. Yet, if one can get past those expectations, there remains a larger-than-life moment to be lived through here, an intergalactic celebration of music, and one laced with themes of loss, pain, and nostalgia. The emotional peak of the record comes with the stinging “Always Black” driven by gorgeous piano and striking vocals, with a cutting poetic recital by Pink Siifu: “Stay, will you stay?” More than anything, the album plucks on that idea of staying and leaving and doesn’t let go of it. Starting from the voicemail left to the listener in opener “Ghost Story”, that feeling of love despite distance reverberates throughout the album’s highs and lows. Love has no distance limit, The Avalanches seem to be telling us. Across the vastness of space, that love persists.

- Casey Chamberlain

Channel Tres - i can’t go outside 

Channel Tres has no damn business being as smooth as he is. With an array of singles, remixes and an EP under his belt, Tres has seamlessly blended techno and house with West Coast rap and production to create a sound that is uniquely his own. And his voice is the icing on the cake. Tres moves effortlessly from rap to R&B, sometimes without a change in pitch. There are times when Tres sounds like he rolled out of bed and started recording and it still works perfectly. And on his debut album, i can’t go outside, Channel Tres is firing on all sonic cylinders. Tres has elements from techno, house, rap and R&B in his production arsenal and spreads them throughout the track list. The album’s opener (“i can’t go outside – intro) features a synth-focused, breezy R&B beat and the flick of a lighter, letting you know how to listen to the project. On “2000 chevy malibu”, Tres delivers lyrics to drive along the Pacific Coast highway to over hip-hop-based drums and encapsulating, spacey synths to make you stare out the window. Although overlooked due to its classification as an interlude, “broke down kid” is easily the most interesting track. Here, Tres rolls completely into house and techno to create a beat that could be a standalone instrumental. Sticking with his pattern of merging different, or even opposing, themes or genres into one, Channel Tres laces the bouncy, uplifting beat of “broke down kid” with lyrics regarding mental distress and unhealthy self-isolation. But you’ll never get the same song twice. Following the best interlude of 2020 (so far), Tres teams up with Tyler, The Creator for the bass-driven “fuego”. This track features glorious background vocals and some steamy lyrics from the duo. Although his debut was only seven tracks, Channel Tres has proven he’s capable of taking his sound anywhere. 

- Charlie Darnall

Kota the Friend - Lyrics to GO, Vol. 2

To be honest, I’m not sure Kota the Friend’s Lyrics to GO, Vol. 2 is essential to the hip-hop genre. I doubt Kota the Friend would even say the album is the best in his discography. But artists don’t have to make albums that make you rethink your life, win awards, or get radio plays. Sometimes artists just want to make something fun and positive to listen to and if there’s one thing I can say about Lyrics to GO, Vol. 2 is that it’s good for the soul. And we all need that right now. What the fifteen-minute project lacks in time it makes up for in storytelling, production and *vibes*. “Luke Cage” is the best example of an equal distribution of these qualities. On the track, Kota reflects nostalgically on past neighborhoods, romantic interests, and friendships. The beat is a coffee shop bop with a groovy guitar riff and the organs near the end. “Flowers” features Kota reflecting on growth over a perfectly placed piano sample that almost competes for the listeners attention. To me, this song sounds like what looking at a bed of flowers in full bloom looks like. If you agree, let me know – it’s 2am and I think I’m onto something. Ok, not to go deeper into this, but Lyrics to GO, Vol. 2 includes another song that (somehow) matches its sound to its title: “Living Room”. The sampling of distant conversation, acoustic guitar chords and Kota’s discussion of safe spaces and peace will make you want to curl up on the couch. Kota also further solidifies his flow as one of the best on this project. Most songs only contain one verse which makes it even more impressive that Kota can move between and within topics impeccably. I cannot think of a single time or situation where this album couldn’t make you feel even the slightest bit uplifted and, for that reason, it’s essential. 

- Charlie Darnall

Arlo Parks - Collapsed In Sunbeams

After the virality of Arlo Parks’ “Black Dog”, a song written so gracefully yet accurately about depression, showcased the singer’s incredible poetic abilities, R&B fans and critics alike patiently awaited her debut album. And with Collapsed In Sunbeams, Parks doesn’t disappoint. I have to start with Parks’ voice - everything else revolves around it. The lyrical content and production are great, but without Parks’ soft and angelic vocals, every song would sound like Robert Frost poems being read over a Wallows jam session. With the blessing of a voice that pairs well with anything, Parks is free to stray from the blueprint “Black Dog” created and enter new genres and explore new themes. Although placed only two songs above “Black Dog”, “Hope” functions as its antithesis. With breezy and gentle indie rock production to match, the chorus serves as both a reminder to the audience and to herself: “You’re not alone like you think you are.” But if “Hope” is Parks’ mental ceiling and “Black Dog” is her floor, then every other track must be a mix of the two. On tracks like “Too Good”, where Parks reflects fondly on her partner from a failed relationship, or “Eugene”, where she discusses falling in love with a friend, Parks expresses the complexity, and sometimes irrationality, of her emotions. Instrumental inspirations on Collapsed In Sunbeams include indie pop (“Portra 400”), folk (“Collapsed In Sunbeams”) and pure R&B (“For Violet”). Although sonically eclectic, every piece of production perfectly fits Parks’ lyrical themes. Through the highs and the lows, Collapsed In Sunbeams signifies the beauty in the struggle. This line from “Portra 400” does the best job at encapsulating that: “Making rainbows out of something painful”.

- Charlie Darnall

Upcoming Releases:

Slowthai- Tyron (2/12)

Few have the energy that UK rapper Slowthai has on a track. 2019’s Nothing Great About Britain saw Slowthai burst onto the scene and cause a commotion that feels like it hasn't calmed down since. On his new record Tyron, however, Slowthai seems poised to get a bit more introspective, approaching his childhood traumas and his newfound fame. The first single for the project, “feel away” featuring the signature crooning of James Blake as well as Mount Kimbie, feels immediately like a shift, with a more intimate sound. Other singles including the bouncy “MAZZA” featuring A$AP Rocky and “CANCELLED” with Skepta feel like a more refined version of the energy we’ve seen Slowthai channel before. The rapper’s sophomore outing will most certainly further shape Slowthai’s artistic direction. Tyron arrives February 12th and features Skepta, A$AP Rocky, Denzel Curry, Dominic Fike, and more.

- Casey Chamberlain

JPEGMAFIA- EP2! (2/12)

Not content with last years’ excellent EP!, the enigmatic JPEGMAFIA has announced plans to release a second EP this month, featuring his recent single “FIX URSELF!” as well as the previously released “LAST DANCE!” from his last season of single releases among a batch of new tracks, including “PANIC ROOM!” which features co-production from James Blake. The rappers’ steady output has been accompanied by a widening soundscape on his newest material, further setting Peggy as one of the most forward-thinking artists currently working. The aptly titled EP2! drops February 12th and features the previously mentioned singles along with new tracks “INTRO!” “KELTEC!” “THIS ONES FOR US!” and “FEED HER!”

- Casey Chamberlain 

[veryfineday]

Friday 12 October 1832

6 55/..

11 55/..

+  L  L

finiesh morning Fahrenheit 62 1/2º at 7 1/4 a.m. read over last nights courier – breakfast with my father at 8 40/.. in an hour for stood reading the nos.numbers 1 and 2 of the ‘Extraodinary gazette’ a foolish quiz on the late public breakfast and dinner given by the whigs to their candidates messers wood and Rawdon Briggs – very high wind –

out at 9 3/4 – went down to the wearing and tooK off PicKles and DicK at 10 5/.. to 12 1/4 to remove more stuff from behind the hut – so rainy they could not go on – I fell asleep in the hut and sat and lay sleeping or dozing there till 2 1/4 – then sauntered home thro’ the rain and came in at 2 3/4 –

at my desK at 3 – from 3 20/.. to 5 wrote 3 pp.[pages] and ends to mrs. James Dalton – Kind letter of anxiety on the occasion of her accident (falling over a footstool in the drawing room and dislocating her anKle as mentioned by mrs. Norcliffe) – beg that some of them will write and tell me how she goes on – Congratulations on the subject of Esther’s marriage – ‘as I Know the dear ‘girl would take no step so important as the one she is speedily about to take, without the entire approbation of her parents, I congratulate you all, and hope very earnestly that the best of earthly blessings will abundantly attend her choice’ – then say I have only seen Dr. Travis once and but for a few minutes but say how highly mrs. N-[Norcliffe] speaKs of him ‘ from whose (mrs. N-’s[Norcliffe’s]) affectionate and steady Kindness, I am ‘quite persuaded, the happy pair will receive much pleasure and advantage – Do pray give my love and congratulations to Esther – I shall not write to her, because it would be mere form to do so, after sending all my good wishes thro’ you’ – should be glad to hear her son John was comfortably fixed – have heard of nothing at liKely to suit him – Had meant to be at Rome next Easter, but began to doubt these plans altogether on account of my aunt  better than she was ten days ago, but ‘has suffered a great deal of late, and is evidently pulled down by it’ - ....’my love to you all – I am very anxious to hear of your going on well, and always affectionately yours AL –’ 

from 5 5/.. to 6 20/.. wrote 3 pp.[pages] and long ends and under the seal to Lady Stuaart – affectionate chit chat letter – mentioned being in treaty about Eugénie, wages ages, with whom she lived – native of Rouen – recommended by mrs. Lawton who however had not seen Eugenie herself but only her ‘sister a respectable well-mannered teacher in a school at Brighton’ – if liKely to engage Eugenie, and if she liKely to come up from Brighton to London and if Lady S-[Stuart] would take the trouble of seeing her should be better satisfied with that than with seeing her myself ‘I wish I could have got a nice English woman who would have staid with me all my life’ – beg Lady S-[Stuart] not to be very long in writing – always anxious about her – asK when the S-[Stuart] de R-s[Rothesays] are expected bacK – Dont expect to hear often from Vere ‘while she is so engrossed with travelling and novelties of all Kinds – Know not what to thinK of politics – thinK we shall want the duke of Wellington by and by’ Things seem going on very queerly’ ..... war perhaps will come upon us by and by –

wrote the last 24 lines till 6 3/4 – Dinner at 7 – sat reading from page 203 to 358 end of ‘ SKetches of Indian: written by an officer for fireside Travellers at home. 2n edition with additions  London printed for Longman, Hurst, Rees, Orme, Brown, and Green, Paternoster row. 1824.’ 1 volume 8vo octavo pp.pages 358. ‘ printed by A. and R. Spotterwoode, new street square’ – speaKs of the fine tomb of Acbar near Agra, and also near there the Taaja Mahal, the crown of Edifices, the mausoleum of Shah Jehan (father of Aurungzebe) and his favourate Begum ‘they tell you, and they tell you truly, that it is the most superb mausoleum in the world’ 238/358. the delicacy and freshness of the preservation of the ornaments and mosaic may be guessed by the expression of the Italian artist Zophani, ‘that it wanted nothing but a glass case of sufficient magnitude to cover and protect it’ 239/358. the tomb of Ameer Bereed near Beeder, not far from Hyderabad, one of the most beautiful he (Captain SKinner) h[a]d seen in India 323/358.

went into the little room at 9 5/.. – read over the Courier – came to my room at 10 10/.. – wrote the last 11 1/2 lines – fineish morning till between 10 and 11 and from 11 thoroughly rainy day till fair before 6 and fineish evening for some time then more rain – Letter tonight from mademoiselle Pierre, 89 marine Parade, Brighton, giving the address of the honourable mrs. Herbert 84 London road, Brighton, where she is going to stay 5 or 6 days – Eugénie not liKely to be in London that I fear Lady S-[Stuart] will have no chance of seeing her for me – Sent off by John this evening my Letter as above to ‘mrs. James Dalton Croft Rectory , Darlington, Durham’ – Fahrenheit 61º. at 11 1/4 p.m.