#that quality yikes sorry

[dontfindmeimscared]

Prologue 0.3

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Krang 1 would be really good at hide and seek...

[phontao]

how sad!

[isitdonproof]

Assassin's Creed: Odyssey

Sparta will be in your debt.

[eliotheeangelis]

drivers inspect the hastily repaired track ahead of the 1984 dallas grand prix

including: rene arnoux, patrick tambay, nigel mansell, niki lauda, alain prost & andrea de cesaris

[aurorawest]

So here’s a marketing trend I’ve noticed lately in publishing - “Reads like the best of fanfiction!”

And like, I see what they’re doing here. We know people read—they read fanfiction! A lot of authors currently publishing probably got their start writing fanfiction! Yay fanfiction!

Except trying to market to this group of people who read primarily fanfiction? Yeah, pretty sure that isn’t going to work. People who only read fanfiction aren’t interested in reading published fiction, and if you spend an hour on tumblr you can find the posts proving it. “Published fiction doesn’t explore characters the way fanfiction does!” “Published fiction doesn’t have queer characters!” “Published fiction is all written by cishet white men!”

Yeah, tell me you haven’t read a book since your English teacher assigned Tom Sawyer without telling me you haven’t read a book since your English teacher assigned Tom Sawyer.

Also it’s weirdly backwards. Like. Don’t you guys mean, the best fanfiction reads like published fiction? Clearly they can influence each other—many of the best books I’ve read lately contain tropes that are very very common in fanfiction, and they’re being utilized in a way that I can just tell is coming from an author who wrote fic and is possibly still writing it.

Anyway, you’re not going to to get the AO3 only crowd to buy books, so maybe stop marketing books this way.

[loisfreakinglane]

tracked tags betraying me with the most heinous of trash takes

[unsat-and-strange]

bet

[unepassemiroir]

Here goes the first family's founders : Zoé and Thibault Le Gall. Thibault was born in Sainte-Lune village and moved back there with his wife to run a farm. Their common passion for nature leaded them to get through a difficult financial path before they could sold their products and slowly became the farmers of the village.

Their first-born Garance just became an adult and is very likely to follow their path. She's more into arts but, as she grew up in this farm, now wants to get her own to build her family with her fiancé Joël - who used to be the newspaper boy pnj.

They dated during their teenage years but had some drama because Garance messed up when she became an adult.

She cheated on him, broke up with him and kinda threw him away, then felt bad about it and decided to get back her boi. Seems he loved her enough to forgive her that and they are now happily engaged.

The second-born is Arthur. He's fond of mechanical thingy and supernatural of any kind - he's currently dating an alien girl.

Amandine is the youngest one and she was adopted. Sh's probably the daughter of nearby farmers who died when she was just a child. She's growing to be a romance sim and just started to break some hearts over the town.

[dozing-marshmallow]

~VISITING CHRIS MCLEAN IN JAIL~

(Months in his sentence.)

It was quite scary, walking down the aisle of inmates. You made sure to stick close to the guard escorting you to Chris’ cell. The place reeked of alcohol and sweaty bodies, flaming your nostrils, making you solely rely on your mouth for breathing. So much rubbish was thrown between floors, loud chattering from other prisoners bursted the air. Walking down, you heard too many lewd comments passing about you. 

Yikes...

Further down, you could recognise Chris’ laughter.

”How has he been doing?”

The guard thought it better to show you.

There he was. Your favourite man in tangerine.

Rather than metal bars, he was behind transparency. Isolation?...

God, he was meant to be a prisoner, not have his ravishing lifestyle still concur because he happened to have money. His wealth was as self absorbed as he was, needing to radiate everywhere, even in a time where it was simply not enough to save him. In comparison to the single bed and toilet most imprisoned busybodies were limited to, for starters, there on his wall was four portraits, two of them being of the island, one being himself, the other one being the wedding day. That may have been the most selfless act he’s done yet. We then have his toy statues of himself, you and Chef on his shelf, too self promoting to be part of the utilities of the prison...and two rolls of toilet paper. Some prisoners are lucky to even get one.

He was sitting at the edge of his flat bed, looking shallow, but when he saw you, oh man, did he get excited.

”(Y/N)!” He yelled, jumping up and onto the glass that separated you. His hands pressed onto the door and saliva already slipped out his mouth at the sight of you,”(Y/N)... You...You actually came...to see me!”

”Hey Chris...” it was so uncanny to see him without that necklace,“How are you? I have a present for you!” you marginally lift the sealed box to him... Well, half sealed since it had to be checked first. The look on those officers’ faces... You would never forget it. It was bizarre, yes, but it was allowed.

”Presents!” his excitement overflown,“You know I love presents, nothing without them! Give me, give me, give me!”

”Uh...” you saw the slot was too small for your box.

“What’s the matter? Can’t find the right pair?”

The guard that assisted you kindly took the gift and handed it to him via cautiously opening the door. Chris didn’t have any intention to assault anyone, for his mind was too preoccupied with glee as he hurriedly went to open it, only to be greeted by anarchy.

”Larry?”

”Yeah...” you beam sadly, catching sight of Larry’s green head, peering curiously out from the box,“They were able to make him shrink and I knew you were lonely in here. I would visit you everyday if I could, but the rules state that if I did, it could mean your sentence would have to double.”

“Bummer. Thooough I wouldn’t wanna stay in here any longer than I need to! For whatever stupid reason. Now that I have my best friend in the whole world! Even though I told you to take care of him...” there he goes with that glare.

Not even a damn thank you,”Sorry Chris... But it’s better I give him back to you before the environment protection crew cleansed him too much. And I don’t know how I could take care of Larry.... Besides, he would be more happy with you than with me.”

”You’re forgiven, my absolute darling!” He set Larry down on his table before returning back to the door,”Sooo, what’s new with you? It feels like it’s been ages since we had any quality time together!”

“Erm... I’ve been better...” doubt weighed your words; it was hard to keep eye contact with your husband when his eyes were endlessly wide. Not knowing what else to do, you stupidly return the question.

“Good, good...” he hums, tapping his fingers rhythmically on the glass,“How’s Chef? Dead or something?”

“Chris!” You exclaim. Your husband always had some sadism, but most of the time, it was out of humour. Disturbingly, it was almost like Chef’s death was something he wanted,”How could you suggest something so horrible so casually? Especially on your friend?”

He shrugged,”What can I say? He hasn’t come see me in a while. Or maybe he has, but I just can’t see him because he’s like a ghost. Do you reckon he could float through this glass like how they do in the movies?”

“No... Thankfully, not.” you decide to leave out Chef rejecting your offer to accompany you in visiting Chris that day,“Chef’s been...busy.”

“Busy? Busy dying?” you hysterically shake your head,“Huh...” his eyes trail off to the side, slightly relaxing,“Have you ever realised that we slowly die everyday?”

You shudder. Death was such a lighthouse for Chris to ingest. Here though? Where everyday was the same thing, with a mere minute feeling like an hour? You knew this couldn’t be good for him,“Stop talking like that... You know that’s not how you really feel.”

He raises an eyebrow,“Oh, but what if it is? I no longer fear the deaths of the people I supposedly care about.”

“Is that right?” Supposedly? You were heartbroken.

“Oh! But I still love you. A lotttttt. Trust me!” His sight quickly returns back to you, springing a large smile on his face. There was something strange about it, but you fought that thought by giving a reciprocal.

“I...love you too.” why was it so hard to say it back?

“Really? Really... Really!” He places his hands whole back on the glass, going completely quiet as he stared at you. Just staring. You would’ve thought he spaced out, but his eyes were well aware of your being, standing before him, patient. Eventually, he starts speaking again with a soft tone,”Ohh...I can’t wait...to sleep in my own cottage again with you...to touch your hair...to touch you...”

Don’t dream about it so soon...,“Me too Chris... I... The bed feels so empty without you.”

“I have a solution for that!” he chimes. Whenever Chris is this inspired, you know it’s not gonna be nice,“Why don’t you do something unreasonable and end up in here with me? After all, I did nothing wrong to be here! I blame all those people who can’t take a joke nor know how to mind their business! All my accusers were nothing but absurd! It’s not my fault the island ended up the way it did! Besides, it was totally worth the ratings! Genius, am I right?”

Still thinking like a host, are we Chris?,“I-I’m good... I don’t think they would let us be bunkmates anyway, especially if you’re in...solitary confinement.”

“Oh yeah? Even if I threw up a thousand big ones for them?“ he scoffs,“Suit yourself. I guess I’m gonna have to continue pretending that my pillow is you. Your fault too.”

“What...” he’s not joking as well. That struck a nerve,“How is it my fault you chose to sell the island to that toxic waste company?”

“Come on!” his face stretches like it’s common sense,“No one could have expected something like that to happen! It was a complete fluke! No one can be blamed for that, especially not me!”

Of course he was going to make himself the victim: he’s worn nothing but orange for the past few months, couldn’t live by his own agenda and was constantly surrounded by people. Poor little Christian, the tragedy king, hasn’t life been hard on him,“That’s the thing though, isn’t it, Chris? The island was your stewardship and it was your decision to sell it to them. The only person to blame is-“

With the slam of his hand, a wobbly echo of glass emits through your body, leaving your words untied,“Don’t you scold me! You‘re the one that came to visit me, and I know I didn’t sign up to hear you forcing the blame on me for something that was out of my hands! It was out of my estimations, okay? Ugh!”

It took a lot to keep it together. This is exactly why you could never communicate properly with him. Why couldn’t he just slim his ego and accept that jail was his fault for once?! No one else was going to serve jail for him, maybe Chef was right in avoiding Chris,“Fine whatever, have it your way.” you glance down at your wrist, where the watch Chris asked you to keep safe for him buckled,“It seems that my visiting time is up anyway.”

“Aw, seriously? You just got here!” he huffs, magically getting over the heat of the argument,“Could you promise to bring some chocolate next time you visit? It'd be a reaaaaaaally great birthday gift.”

That’s right, it is coming up soon. You nod,“I’ll have to make sure it’s fine with the police officers first, but I’m sure they’ll allow it.”

He’s certain of it,"Course it'll be! They'd allow me to keep portraits in here, but not chocolate? Barbaric!" Certainty. His hamartia.

“Hah, that’s true.” first time in ages you both found something to agree on,“Well... Take care, Chris. I’ll be on my way now.” You turn on your heel and would have accelerated, had it not been for the man in question’s interesting choice of parting words.

“No kiss? Boooooo.”

You twirl back around, trying to figure out the best way to break it down to him,“We... We can’t-“

A disgusted sigh of his plagues your sentence,“I’m not a bird, (Y/N). Tweet tweet! I can tell there’s glass here. Erm...” he was in the spotlight of improvising, which he’s lived through dozens of times,“Let's do this..." he puts his fingers up to his lips and on removal, he whistled an exhale.

On cue, you hold up a hand and clench it like you had caught it, and done the same. Chris shook from exultation on process, the orange clothing his body clothing his mind in that moment.

"Awesome! See, she still does love me! (Y/N) could never abandon me." for a minute, his voice swooned with profound romance that you founded with him once upon a time. He turns away to the side and smiles, the lovey dovey flying away,"What will happen when our hostess comes next? Will I still be behind bars? Will I get to eat chocolate bars? All the answers soon to be revealed, right here on Total...Drama...Island!”

You take that as your cue to leave. He had gone to another world. Man made. Chris had never done stuff like that before... 

"Hey kitty, what about my kiss? Big Randy over here would like one too." Randy or one of the other prisoners tried coaxing you a few steps in on your exit of the institution of criminals, lust painted all over his oily face.

"Eugh." you stick a finger to your gagging mouth to the stranger prisoner's distaste.

The inhale of the outside air was all the cure you needed from the red-blooded fumes of that place.

Talking to the wall... Would it really be okay to let Chris back on the streets like that? Was prison even a good place for rehabilitation? On one hand, yes, it was about time Chris had felt the weight of his crimes, but on the other hand, was forcing it down his throat the best way to get him to willingly amend?

You won’t be surprised if after his release, he went on to joyfully add onto his record, which was kind of unfortunate- he was your husband. 

And you want him to come home.

[isagrimorie]

Part 1

Part 2 of my concept writing (first draft) for April Ludgate/Jen Barkley AU:

Andy wouldn’t sign the divorce papers.

April wasn’t surprised. It took Andy a long time before he got over Ann. He was stubborn, persistent, and loyal. All the qualities April loved about Andy but also…

It’s been three months and April felt like she was living her life stuck in neutral. She can’t go forward and she can’t go back.

On the other hand, her professional life was zooming fast and unlike her time working with Leslie, she wasn’t just getting dragged along by a hurricane. April was the hurricane and it felt great.

For the first time she understood why Leslie was always moving like a shark.

She loved working in the Foundation and helping people and then very quickly moving them away from her.

“Congresswoman Hollis wants us to work with her consultant for her next campaign,” Laura told her.

“Okay,” April said encouraging her with widening eyes to go on.

“Do you want to take point on that?”

April shrugged, “I don’t have a lot right now.”

“Great!” And then Laura moved on and April stopped caring since the next event had nothing to do with her.

The rest of the time April thought could’ve been an email. Fortunately, the meeting ended, April wanted to grab something to eat.

“April!”

Her heart leaped at seeing Andy. Even when he looked miserable, he looked handsome. But also he shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t be here. Literally, he decided to move back to Pawnee.

“I love you, April.” He declared it loudly.

April pulled Andy into a less crowded area of the lobby. “What are you doing here?”

He approached her, desperate. “I get it, you don’t want kids, we don’t need to have kids!”

It was such an obvious lie that April looked at him, even as he said it, he looked pained. He can’t even sell the lie. “You don’t mean that. You love kids.”

“Maybe that’s just now–” His face crumpled, lost and confused. Just like a kid himself.

Something snapped in April. “No! My mind is never gonna change! I don’t want to have kids! But you do! You love kids, you’d be a great dad. But that’s not gonna be with me. So, I’m letting you go. Find someone who can give you what you want because that’s not me.”

“April, I–”

April stepped aside. She couldn’t look at Andy. His beautiful puppy dog face. “If we stay married, you’d end up hating me. So, let me do this for you. Let me go.”

Before he could say anything, April ran. Straight into a random elevator. Andy was about to enter when someone stepped in front. “Sorry, ace, take the next one.” And the elevator door closed.

April blinked. The elevator wasn’t full. It was only her and… Jen Barkley?

“That was really awkward,” Jen said not even looking nor sounding repentant for eavesdropping.

Her emotions were on a rollercoaster and April couldn’t find the words to say anything so she only stared at Jen Barkley.

“Whoof. Bad break-ups, huh? I usually go for a quick French exit myself,” Jen said, pushing the number 12 button decisively.

“It’s a divorce.” April said, numb but also needing to correct. Break-up sounds so mundane, so ordinary to the immense heartbreak she’s feeling right now.

Jen made a noise and said, “Yikes. Divorces are tough. It’s why I never married, I get to do what I want to do.”

“Can you hit the 14th floor?” April said instead.

Jen looked at her, April shifted, she didn’t like the considering expression on her face. Hit the number 14 button.

“You did the right thing, better to cut the cord now than later. From what I heard you both wanted different things,” she said in a no nonsense voice and a kinder tone than April was used to. “Kids would just complicate things. Me? I don’t like kids. Never wanted them. And my life is awesome.”

“Were you eavesdropping on us?” April demanded because there was a reason why she pulled Andy into a more secluded part of the lobby.

Jen shrugged, unbothered, and unrepentant. “I was there first, chugging my third espresso of the day. I was bored and you guys were so loud. Doesn’t make what I say less true.”

“Yeah?” They barely knew each other and April doubted if Jen even remembered her from April’s time working with her and Ben for Murray’s congressional campaign. April didn't know how much she missed plain spoken, brass tact honesty until this moment. April should visit Ron.

“Trust me on this, I’m never wrong!” And as if she timed it, the elevator pined and the doors slid open. “Kids are overrated.“

And then walked out.

April felt like she just was hit by a hurricane. This was the first time, since Donna where someone seemed happy about not having kids.

TBC

[a-random-whovian7]

What your favourite Doctor says about you (just like the Master and Companion lists, this is all just jokes and my own terrible takes, absolutely no offence intended towards anyone). This is gonna be a long one, so good luck:

One (I think):

Is somehow able to sit through The Keys of Marinus whilst completely sober. Their feelings on Twice Upon a Time completely depend on whether they are able to accept that TV shows made in the 1960s will inevitably have some outdated bits or not. Loves slow-burners and less science-heavy stories, and wishes the Doctor would go back to trolling his companions again. Prays every night for The Celestial Toymaker and Marco Polo to be found. Hates the Timeless Child with a burning passion.

Two:

Two fans deserve a lot better. Despite a large chunk of their era being limited to surviving audio, PowerPoint presentations telesnaps and the, er, mixed bag of animated reconstructions, they still contribute a lot to the discussion of Classic Who and are usually well versed in the lore of the EU. 2nd Doctor fans are remarkable, as they are able to get along with pretty much every other group of fans. However, there is plenty of infighting thanks to the UNIT dating controversy and which story should be reconstructed next. If they ship Two/Jamie, they have fully earned your love and are surprisingly good if you pass them the aux.

Three:

Pretty much blows a gasket whenever some idiot says that the modern era is 'too political'. Like, I'm sorry, but was the "England for the English" scene in the Claws of Axos a little too subtle for you? Were Malcolm Hulke's scripts absolutely apolitical in your eyes? Does the mere existence of The Green Death mean nothing to you?! Oh, well maybe you should try WATCHING THE SHOW and DOING YOUR RESEARCH before you start claiming that it's become 'tOo pOLiTiCaL' because the main characters aren't always played by Whiteguy McStraight now, shouldn't you?! YOU AND YOUR MEDIOCRE OPINION SHALL COWER BEFORE MY KNOWLEDGE OF THE THIRD DOCTOR'S ERA AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!

It is for this very reason that 3rd Doctor fans get along particularly well with 13th Doctor fans. Perfectly nice people with a great sense of humour and an excellent taste in episodes, unless a conversation resembling the above occurs, at which point you will see how much damage the repressed urge to do Venusian Akido can do. Refuses to admit that The Ambassadors of Death is two episodes too long.

Four:

Either a child of the 70s or chaos incarnate. Yes, 4 is pretty much the universally recognised Doctor, but that doesn't stop him from being one of the most unhinged Doctors. Loves more gothic horror-themed episodes and can ignore the somewhat questionable production qualities of early Baker stories. They have almost certainly attempted to make The Scarf at one point; whether they were successful or not entirely depends on their talent for knitting. Is surprisingly ok with admitting that Tom Baker stayed for a little too long and that his later seasons were a little underwhelming. Hasn't stopped them from watching every version of Shada though.

Five:

The tired parental figure of any group they are in. They immediately related to this Doctor when they saw 5 trying to hold it together whilst his multiple adopted humans argued, whined and got themselves trapped on doomed freighter ships. Has tried to play cricket once, but a general confusion over the rules and a few broken windows stopped that. You can take care of the cinnamon roll that is the standard 5 fan by providing them with cups of tea, giving them lots of hugs and removing all copies of Time Flight from your house.

Six:

Best fashion sense out of all the fans... somehow. Their favourite episodes are usually Vengeance on Varos or Revelation of the Daleks (both bangers), although they lean more heavily towards EU and Big Finish material, where the stories are more consistent and the costumes are less yikes. Either the best or worst fan to be around, either giving fair balanced views on the show or just being an absolute arse. Loves cats. Hates Michael Grade. Kind of ambivalent towards Mel.

Seven:

If 2nd Doctor fans are well versed in the EU lore, then these individuals are fucking academics. Constantly annoyed that 7 had two of the best seasons of Classic Who and was the darkest Doctor but is only remembered for Time and the Rani for some reason. Their favourite companion will always be Ace, which is what motivated them to watch Power of the Doctor. Usually excellent taste in stories, but is completely capable of dragging you to the depths of the EU. Wishes the Doctor would commit a few more genocides. Their religious beliefs can be summarised in the phrase "Cartmel Master Plan". Still annoyed that the most strategic Doctor was killed by the two most American things (guns and bad healthcare), but gets along well with 8 fans despite that. Somehow understands Ghost Light after just 3 rewatches.

Eight:

Big Finish fan. Basically willing to explain the entire plot of Dark Eyes if you ask them. Thinks the TV Movie is just OK, and has rewatched Night of the Doctor too many times to count. Loves a sad boy, and has definitely referred to 8 as a "poor little meow meow" at some point. Wishes 8's TARDIS interior was still intact and that he'll get his own live action series. Had an actual heart attack when he appeared in Power of the Doctor. Usually a bisexual from my personal experience, and looking at Paul McGann in the 90s, I can see why.

War (or is it Nine?):

We're stepping into the depths of the Moffat cult with this one. Wants a more traumatised Doctor, and kind of wishes we saw more of the Time War beyond the laser battle in Day of the Doctor. Content to sit back and watch due to the fact that the War Doctor had the perfect arc in his one episode, although they are happy that the War Doctor still pops up in the EU. Bridging the gap between the modern and classic series means they get along well with everyone except Shalka fans.

Nine (the Curse of Fatal Death one):

Does this one count? Just loves the classic series. Still praying for Joanna Lumley as the Doctor. Nowhere near as obnoxious as the Shalka fans and surprisingly funny.

Nine (the Scream of the Shalka one):

They pride themselves on being 'against the trend' and being fans of an overlooked bit of Doctor Who history. Doesn't quite realise that Scream of the Shalka was basically an B-tier Big Finish story with janky animation. Wants Richard E Grant to show up again. Constantly attempting to upset Eccleston and Hurt fans, only to get angry when everyone forgets Scream of the Shalka existed. They definitely listen to Weezer.

Ten, no, another Nine (the Eccleston one):

The word "fantastic" is permanently superglued to their vocabulary, and yet it never gets old. Owns a leather jacket too. Wishes that the BBC hadn't been stupid and Eccleston had stayed on for another series, but doesn't hold it against Tennant. Knows the Daleks were at their best in S1. Really wants the Reapers to return, and was utterly distraught after Chibs kind of ruined 9's role in the wider arc by blowing up Gallifrey again. Major nostalgia for the 2000s with this one, and is slowly becoming a member of the Big Finish cult thanks to Eccleston's return. Understandably forgot Adam was a thing. Both loves and hates John Barrowman.

Ten? Eleven? Ten and a half? The Tennant one. I hate numbers:

Their first experience to Doctor Who was during the golden age- wait, no, sorry, the RTD cult has threatened to terminate my membership if I'm not honest with this one.

Either a child of the 2000s, a member of the aforementioned RTD cult or someone who just likes the show to be more emotionally resonant. Well, that or they are the blandest person alive. If they acknowledge how good 10's arc was in terms of deconstructing the Doctor and setting up his fall from grace via misplaced attachments and vanity, then absolutely someone to be around. If they simply say "because he was popular", definitely bland. We all know Tennant was popular, it's still not one of the many valid reasons to love him. They have an easygoing relationship with 4 and 11 fans, and otherwise OK relations with the rest of Doctors fan groups, although there is a bit of friction between 13 stans due to 10 being dragged into a lot of 13's media post-2020 to boost ratings. They didn't like it because it cheapned 10's return and era whilst also overshadowing 13. 13 stans didn't like it because it basically gave the message that the BBC had given up on 13 before her era had finished.

Definitely excited for the 60th after the regeneration and the announcement of RTD's return. Has tried owning a pair of converses, only to find out that they aren't exactly cheap. Has fought for the Ten/Rose ship on multiple occasions. Tried hair gel once, with disastrous consequences.

Huh. This one was incredibly easy to write. All I had to do was look in a mirror.

Thirte- no, Eleven:

Major ADHD energy in the best possible way. Saw the chaotic excitable Doctor and immediately fell in love. They will not rest until they have forced every former Doctor to read the "Hello Stonehenge" speech. They have also cosplayed the most out of any fan, due to the availability of fezzes and bow ties. Definitely the most fun to be around at a party. Was disappointed by Matt Smith's decision not to return for the 60th, especially after the absolute banger that was Day of the Doctor. If they ship 11 with River, they're cool, even though 11 was very asexual in S5. If they ship him with anyone else, then yikes. Wishes for the show to return to a quirky fairytale tone again.

If they were present during the SuperWhoLock days, keep an eye on them. You're only one drink away from dragging us back to 2013, and I ain't reading any of that fanfiction again *shudders*.

Fourte- FUCK, Twelve:

A certified member of the Steven Moffat cult, or just someone who likes some of their stories to have a slightly more mature tone. Has tried to play the electric guitar more than once, only to be forced to stop by their partners or housemates. Either willing to admit some of the flaws of the era or strongly defends it, with no inbetween. Absolutely correct in their assertion that S9 and 10 absolutely slapped, although this cam be undermined if they try to defend Sleep No More. If they ship River and 12, then you can trust them with anything, and they will offer you good relationship advice. If they ship 12 and Clara in a romantic way (which is strange to me cos i always got platonic BFF vibes from them, but that's just me), they definitely have relationship advice, although waiting 4 billion years to get your memory wiped is a questionable means of resolving conflict. They have a pair of the sonic sunglasses. Cried when Capaldis majestic floofy hair got shaved off for a superhero film.

Thirteen? That's right? Phew, finally getting the hang of this. Ok, Thirteen:

There are two types of 13 fan. The first is cinnamoniest of rolls. Is just happy to sit back and have fun, thus allowing them to enjoy pretty much any episode (something that a lot of people could learn from). Immediately realised that Jodie is an amazing Doctor and deserves more praise and justice. Definitely shipped Thasmin, and are the best at constructive criticism, recognising what worked and didn't in a respectful, polite way (again, something we could all learn from). Wierdly enough, they get along well with all the Doctor fans, as they are a wholesome ray of sunshine that reminds us that every era has something to offer, no matter the general consensus.

The second type masquerades as the first, but gets all hipster-y and more than willing to use the term 'overrated' when RTD or Tennant are mentioned (so basically a healthy 80% of the #antiRTD tag).

Both are convinced that the Chibnall Era will receive a massive reappraisal like the 12th Doctor's era did, despite the odds of that happening being the same as an on-screen Thasmin kiss. I'm so sorry, that's a really mean line to end this bit on. Let's instead end by saying Haunting of Villa Diodati is an absolute banger of an episode.

Ruth:

Loves the admittedly cool concept of a mystery incarnation. The rest depends on their theory of where the Ruth Doctor fits in. If they use the season 6B theory, then they have an encyclopedic knowledge of the classical series and the EU regardless of whether they have watched it or not. If they use the Timeless Child/Division theory, then they basically settled for the easier version of 6B after looking into the insane asylum that is classic who and EU discourse (wise choice). If they think she's from an alternative universe, thinks that she's Omega, Rassilon, The Rani, The Master or any other figure, then they practically have a gold medal in Mental Gymnastics. Either way, all of them don't like to admit that they are unfortunately limited to 4 episodes (three of them being fairly mid, the other being a mild car crash) and a pretty good comic. Cool fashion taste. Gets along with 13 stans and, surprisingly, 2nd Doctor fans.

Fourteen- oh for fucks sake:

YOU ARE TENTH DOCTOR FANS. GO BACK TO EARLIER ON IN THE POST. YES, I KNOW THAT'S THE BBC'S OFFICIAL LINE AT THE MOMENT. YES, I KNOW YOU'RE HYPED FOR THE 60TH, I AM A HYPED RTD CULTIST TOO. JUST WAIT UNTIL SEPTEMBER. P L E A S E.

Fourt- no fifteen- no, fourteen- BBC, HAVE MERCY:

Only in the Doctor Who fandom can a Doctor who has only appeared in a brief clip and some photos have a fully developed fanbase. I should know, I've already joined it. Ncuti's photos in that suit sealed the deal. Either an RTD cultist or someone just looking forward to a fresh new direction. Also very fashionable. Has a somewhat complicated relationship with 13th Doctor fans due to the fact that Ncuti's first season and casting completely overshadowed S13 and the specials, but Ncuti also had to deal with the same levels of toxicity from the same 'fans' who threw temper tantrums at Jodie's casting in 2017. Best haircuts out of all the Doctor Who fans. Strange but true.

Full Fathom Five:

Y'all scare me.

Zagreus:

Y'all terrify me.

The Watcher:

Y'all confuse me.

The Valeyard:

Has wanted a darker series since god knows when. Was kind of annoyed when the Time Lord Victorious arc wasn't dedicated to a whole series. Also, the Valeyard is the Shadow the Hedgehog of the Whoniverse. I refuse to elaborate any further.

The Curator:

"Alright gang, let's see who the Curator fans really are!"

Pulls off mask

"Fourth Doctor fans?!"

All jokes aside, they just want a more experienced Doctor. Accepts that the show will have to end one day, and is cool with that, since they already have the perfect ending. Either cool grandad vibes or an actual grandad. Good knitwear. Their response to everything is simply putting the kettle on.

Doctor Moon:

Now these ones are very, very rare. I personally love the theory that Doctor Moon is a future version of the Doctor who is keeping River and the Library safe, but limiting your favourite Doctor to two episodes and an endorsement of the theory from Steven Moffat? Now that takes guts, and I like it. Usually partial to classy clothes, and talks in a very formal tone. Their best subject is usually maths.

Dr Who (Peter Cushing):

Unashamedly insane. Saw the absolutely glorious cheese-fest that was the 1960s Dalek movies and ended up loving one of the most unique versions of the Doctor. Is absolutely fine with bypassing 90% of the TV shows lore, making them really fun to talk to. Time Lords? Nah. Sonic screwdriver? Nope. Their Doctor is a wacky grandpa who built a multi-dimensional time machine in their back garden, and they love it. Is a sucker for Alternate Universe stories and usually loves classic B-movies. Knows that the movies kind of suck as adaptations, but as pure 1960s camp, they are unbeatable. Absolute legends.

All of Them:

The glue that holds this fanbase together. Enlightened individuals who have to check in every now and then to make sure that we mere mortals are behaving ourselves. They just simply enjoy the show and hold no biases. Absolutely infuriating to talk to for that very reason.

[mac-ann-cheese]

Who has a choice like Smarty does?

(tumblr sucks for restrictions with image sizings. the quality is fucked up)

July, 2024

Another addition to my portraits of Alfred.

Um... I don't really know. This time for real. Something hit me on the head, and I got the idea to create whatever this pink abomination is.

I have a habit of making things that make my eyes sore, though.

Confession: I love Alfred's Cold War era uniform (well, it's actually a variation of the WWII uniform). I depicted him wearing an Airborne one 'cause of the eagle patch on official artwork—the trademark of division. I've seen the other creators playing a guessing game with uniforms, so there really isn't a "canon" tradition to follow.

And also it's cunty-- I mean, the Ike jacket, the boots, the silly cap. Giving fierce.

I'm sorry... (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

Personally, I always try to make clothing historically accurate. Then I should explain a few details. The long shoulder thingies—fourragères, left one—Belgian (it correlates with the red ropes that most artists drew on Alfred's uniform. It's the closest I could find that would be time-appropriate, and I saw that it could also have arm loops. More strings. So, a tricky fact: it should be worn on the left, but I read that it could be worn and was usually worn by soldiers on the right if there is a French Croix de Guerre 39/45 on the left, which is... the same-looking fourragère as Belgian. No braided strings staking!), the right one—Dutch lanyard (it's orange, close call to red! But, one big but, don't take my words seriously, 'cause I read too many different opinions on some 2007 forum discussion that I became confused with placement. I don't really know what is actually right, please don't come for me, I tried my best and it's only a drawing) and the French one, I've mentioned earlier.

Other accessories: on the left pocket—the presidential unit citation award; on the right, above the ribbon bar set (um, I won't specify what ribbons I could've depicted, as this post will become twice as long)—jump wings; and also the M1916 holster (colt is included!) on the leg. Did you know that little strap was used to secure the holster on the thigh? I didn't before diving into the hunt for references. The strap also could be tied in some peculiar knots, but Alfred is a messy bitch/j, and it means messy wrapping on the muzzle.

The autism in me powers the fuel of a research engine for a Hetalia fanart. Yikes.

One thing that I didn't want to change was the neck scarf. Sadly, there isn't one for real uniform, but I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it. It's just too iconic, even for my historical accuracy quirk. And the hat should be larger, however, I wasn't bothered about the right size. It's a mini-cap.

Okay, I need to address the elephant in the room. Yes, mouths. Different emotions (or I tried to make them different). Am I insane for this? Absolutely. They're reminding me of the first colour TV or ibm computers with Warhol's style.

The second ver is just text, which I thought suited him (tbh, Alfred would make great friends with Maxine, iykyk). I had great fun with distortion filters.

Last thing, the expression is supposed to be somewhat confused laughing like someone accused of something very controversial ("me kissing men??? oh nonono, haha... ',:D") and Alfred just laughs it off, like he usually does. At the same time, looking down on us, the viewer. Though you can freely interpret the expression however you want, it's up to you! (⁠~⁠￣▽￣⁠)⁠~

[ageless-aislynn]

@authortobenamedlater​ out here asking the real questions. I mean, that hadn’t even occurred to me and now it seems so obvious! 👀

I mean, what is that for if NOT for an AI interface??? 👀👀👀

(Well, other than its for aesthetics, lol. 😉)

Maybe I am reading too much into this but I just noticed the Spartans’ helmets, or at least Chief’s, have what looks like a neural interface port in the back. You can even see it light up in the intro.

What is this for? Since Cortana is implanted directly in John’s brain and there don’t seem to be any other Cortana-style AIs in the TV world, would these Spartans even need it? Is it just because it’s there in the game and the costume designers wanted to copy every little detail?

Maybe we’ll get answers in the second season, hopefully we can see that before my oldest graduates from high school.

Also when Mr and I played the games I had a moment of vicarious terror every time Chief inserted or removed Cortana from his helmet. What if he drops her or breaks her chip??? Like sorry I destroyed a thumb drive trying to put it in my laptop back in college.

[harocat]

Perhaps this is inaccurate, but does it ever feel to you like general cdrama fandom takes the FL being a “mature” character as the end-all indicator of the show’s quality? Recently with legend of Shenli I see quite a few people start their praise along the lines of “unlike those other garbage xianxia with their annoying FLs”. And often it becomes clear they’re trashtalking Lbfad specifically

This is not just Cdrama fandom, it's fandom on the whole; the girlbossification of female characters.

I've generally always favored characters that get this treatment. Riza Hawkeye (badass) vs. Winry Rockbell (immature), Sango (badass) vs Kagome (immature). Sorry those examples are anime, but they're very well known so 🤷

These are also often healer characters, which is a trope that tends to be... sort of maligned. How dare a women be relegated to just being a healer! But IDK, I'd rather have a well written healer than a generic, flatly written warrior any day. XLH would definitely fall under the healer class.

(One good thing I've noticed is that while all the above mentioned girls got a lot of hate back in the day, as time has gone on, they've grown to become beloved characters. You rarely see hate for any of them nowadays. It's great.)

Keeping in mind fandom's general disinterest in women, so naturally the appreciation that does exist is often extremely shallow. Characters that tend to catch their attention because of this are ones that are 'badass' or that they want to 'step on them' or whatnot. A character that starts out more mature is more likable to them because they don't need to look beyond the surface to see how 'cool' she is.

This is not an implication that Shenli is a shallow character (I am only on ep twelve, so I'm not here to give any kind of overall impression), but just that she from the beginning has more traits that are easy for people to glom onto as a 'strong female character' Do these specific people (this is obviously not all fans of Shenli) who say 'finally a mature character' write meta about Shenli? Do they gush on her and share fanworks and create and all the like. Generally no, because in my experience people who like characters for 'girlboss' reasons don't really appreciate them beyond the surface.

These people will gripe about characters like XLH, sing the praises of 'strong female characters', then go back to only caring about male characters 90% of the time.

Xiao Lanhua takes too much work for these kinds of fans. Obviously we know she is strong, we know she is badass and brave, but the XLH we meet at the beginning is silly, immature, and boy crazy. To appreciate her character fully, you have to do more than just look for five seconds and go 'wow badass'. She's a layered, richly written character, but she doesn't start out as the kind of character that fits a girlboss reading.

On the other hand, almost because of this, you can find pages and pages of meta, fic, and fanworks about her, and almost any fan of hers can give you a plethora of reasons they love her that have actual depth.

On the subject of maturity, it's often a case of the kind of immaturity that's acceptable. Dongfang Qingcang is deeply immature at the start of the series. I don't need to explain why.

But his immaturity is appealing to fandom; cute, likable, and funny. It's good immature, cool immature. And I think this is because in addition to being a male character, we're also taught that being immature like Xiao Lanhua is--- is like... a horrible thing to be? But that's not the case at all. It's just normal! Again, back to girlboss feminism. Women and female characters are held to an impossibly high standard. Female characters that act in a way that might be seen as cringe (if they aren't also badass)? Yikes.

Yes, Xiao Lanhua starts out flighty and silly, but she's also a hard worker, and even from the beginning, she's courageous (despite her timidity when confronted with bullies). She's a good character, even at the beginning; she is lovable, charming, and so, so funny. People just refuse to see beyond their first impression.

The goal in writing a female character should be to make them well written, and in that sense, Xiao Lanhua is a great character. She just happens to also be extremely brave and badass, but some people are too shallow to see it. At this point in time I don't even argue with XLH haters. I'm just like 'well fine, I'd rather not have you here anyway.'

[harunayuuka2060]

Kid MC: Dad? What kind of student gets to be a housewarden?

Malleus: Hmm... I think those who have great magical abilities, smart, and other good qualities that surpass others.

Kid MC: Okay. Then why is the housewarden of Scarabia a housewarden?

Malleus: Al Asim?

Kid MC: Hm!

Malleus: Why?

Kid MC: For starters! He's an idiot. And he always talks about empathy!

Kid MC: And he always causes trouble for his vice-housewarden!

Malleus: Sounds like you have a problem with Al Asim.

Kid MC: I do! *pouts* He ate the ice cream I made for you and he didn't replace it!

Malleus: *laughs* *hugging them* It's alright. Can't you just make another one for me?

Kid MC: I can but— *groans in frustration*

Malleus: *pets their head* I understand your frustration. Knowing you, you might've spent a lot of time making it.

Kid MC: My arms were numb from shaking the bag. Hmph.

Jamil: Kalim, didn't I tell you to replace the ice cream you've eaten?

Kalim: Yikes! Sorry! I totally forgot!

Jamil: *sigh* Listen. The housewarden of Diasomnia had approached me and expressed the disappointment of his child to you.

Kalim: ...

Kalim: They're angry?

Jamil: Yes.

Kalim: ...

Kalim: I'll go there and apologize!

Jamil: Buy them an ice cream first!

Kalim: We're quits now, okay?

Kid MC: *frowning at him*

Kalim: No?

Kid MC: It's not even the same flavor.

Kalim: They don't have the same thing at the store.

Kid MC: Of course because the one you've eaten is home-made. Ever considered of making a new one to replace that?

Kalim: I'm not good with cooking. Hehe.

Kid MC: ...

Kid MC: *grabs his hand and starts dragging him*

Kalim: Um... Where are we going?

Kid MC: In the kitchen. I will teach you to cook.

Lilia: Are you alright, Kalim? You look exhausted.

Cater: No. In fact, he looks beyond exhausted. What happened?

Kalim: MC taught me how to cook and I can proudly say that I know now how to make soup and fried dish!

Cater: ...

Lilia: *starts laughing*

Cater: Lils? Malleus's kid is like that?

Lilia: Why, yes. I bet they think that Kalim here looks hopeless.

Kalim: Huh? Why? Do I give off that impression?

Cater: Unfortunately, man. Yeah.

Kid MC: Dad! Eat some more!

Malleus: Where did you get all these food?

Kid MC: I cooked them with Sir Kalim!

Silver: Please excuse me as I grab some more—

Sebek: SILVER! THAT'S MY PLATE!

Malleus: Are you good with Al Asim now?

Kid MC: *nods* But I still think he's an airhead.

Sebek: Dammit, Silver! Stop grabbing food from my plate!

Silver: I would if you didn't put all Kalim's cooking in my plate.

Malleus: How do you know the food is Kalim's?

Silver: It's barely edible.

Sebek: The little human's food is barely edible too!

Kid MC: ...

Kid MC: *starts pulling his plate away from him*

Sebek: THAT IS A JOKE OBVIOUSLY!

Malleus: *laughs*

[prideofcelestia]

❝the bros crash your wedding with solomon❞

« characters - solomon, demon brothers »

« gender neutral reader »

« scenario »

Solomon was excited. How could he not be when it was his wedding day with you? He could barely contain himself when he imagined how breathtaking you would look. The memory would be etched in his mind for all of eternity ― a dear friend to carry in his heart.

The moment drew nearer and he walked to the venue to take his place, waiting anxiously for you. His heart was pounding fervently, and he kept his eyes shut, focusing all his energy on listening to the sound of your footsteps. What he heard instead made him falter and choke on air.

"Satan, keep it down, will ya?!"

Trouble seemed to follow him everywhere. But he wasn't going to let the demons he wanted to make a pact with, and the speaker, ruin his day.

You were just outside the door, trying to soothe your frayed nerves when Mammon's familiar voice made your heart drop. If there were any more surprises, you were going to puke. Was it a lot to want to get married to the man of your dreams without your closest friends trying to crash it?! It felt more thrilling to just get married and let them know later. Well thrilling and less stressful.

Okay, so you really needed to throw up now. Blerp!

When you thought of the brothers' reactions on seeing you in wedding attire, you felt a shiver run down your spine. How could you explain why you hadn't invited your foster family-slash-friends to your wedding?

All heads turned towards the speaker ― a panting young man with a shock of white hair who looked like his life was in danger. You tried to recede into the shadows even though you were hardly visible to the guests inside.

"S-Satan?" one of the people nearby uttered incredulously. "Did he call someone Satan?!"

"We are being crashed by the devil! Yippppeeeee," chirped a little girl who seemed to enjoy the commotion.

"MAMMOOOOON?!"Lucifer thundered from behind.

"Yikes! Lu-Lucifer, calm down, man. We have more important matters at hand!" Mammom tried to shield himself from his elder brother.

"Seriously, Lucifer. As ardently as I hate to agree with Mammon, don't get your priorities mixed," said Satan disapprovingly with an over-the-top roll of his eyes. He got distracted quite easily himself. "Oh, how adorable that cat looks with a bow tie! Making cats a part of the ceremony is a brilliant idea. There's no suspicion that this is indeed Solomon's wedding. But why did it have to be [Name] he's marrying?"

Lucifer looked at him in disgust, "Levi, we need to talk about the shows you watch."

"LOL noobs," Levi chimed in without taking his eyes off of his Nintendo switch. "I bet all of you didn't know that Lucifer and Satan are kinda taboo words in the human world ROFLMAO. I am well informed though because of 'I was isekai'd as a woman even though I didn't really want it and then I learned that I was married to Lucifer who suspected me to be an imposter so I had to spend the next year trying to prove that I was indeed worthy of being alive which is bizarre but he is hot on top of crazy so I forgave him and now we can continue our happily married life together'."

"LOLOLOL call it anime or I won't listen."

"LEVIATHANNNNNNN!"

"G'aaaaah. S-S-Sorry Lucifer."

"Weren't we supposed to not bring a lot of attention to ourselves?" said a sleeping Belphie who felt disturbed by the numerous eyes on them. He snuggled closer to Beel who was carrying him and whispered, "Beel, do you see [Name]? If you do, wake me up, okay? Zzzzzz"

"Mmm k Belph. Nom nom munch munch chomp chomp *sound of a chair being annihilated*. *sound of the spirits of wood and plastic crying because they weren't created to be eaten* . Mmm this chair doesn't taste very good. I must ask [Name] to use better quality chairs next time," said Beel while rubbing his belly.

"The next time is going to incude me in the ceremony!" said Asmo indignantly, taking a break from recording the scandal. "How dare they think that they can just get married secretly without Asmo-chan! I deserved to know about it even if you guys didn't. Don't you worry, Beel. You will get cuter decorations and better food next time!"

Solomon slapped his forehead before summoning you to where he was. Despite enjoying a good show, he prioritised getting the knot tied. Who knew how difficult it was going to be.

"Whoa whoa!" you gave out a yell of surprise at the sudden change of location.

"[Name]," the brothers cried.

Everyone looked at you. Two members in the audience actually clapped at your arrival, because they couldn't process the new turn of events. They stopped just as abruptly as they had started, realising that there was nothing normal about the wedding, so they should just wait their turn before doing anything.

"Hehe, yeaaaah, that's my name. You guys remembered? Awwww."

You touched your heart. It was malfunctioning just like your brain, to say the least.

Solomon sighed and grabbed your hand. "[Name], let's get out of here?"

That was when you realised his comforting presence beside you. His shoulder brushed against you, and you blinked at him.

When your eyes locked, he tightened his hold on your hand, "You look absolutely ravishing, darling. I will never forget the way you looked into my eyes at this very moment. I promise that even if the world burns down all around us, I will keep you afloat and out of danger. I will make you a whole new world if that's what it takes to keep you happy."

"Oh Solomon," you smiled and cupped his cheeks tenderly before whispering. "You know I love you, right? But now is not the right time for this, sweetie."

"HELL IT AIN'T!" yelled Mammon while his wings flapped in anger.

The little girl clapped her hands, "Oooh, Mr Devils know magic tricks. MR DEVILS KNOW MAGIC TRICKS! They changed clothes!!"

The brothers had all changed into their demon forms.

You felt the beginning of a headache. Looking down at your garb, you raised an eyebrow at Solomon. "I'm dressed to take your breath away. You are dressed to take me away from the madness so do something!"

A whistle resounded from his lips, calling a magic carpet. He helped you get on.

He brought your palm to his lips and kissed it. "Your word is my law, love."

"Oh, what a time to be charming, Solomon!"

"Quickly Solomon, they are coming! Move that ancient ass!"

Lucifer just missed a corner of the magic carpet as it flew away into safety. You could hear the brothers bickering among themselves. A smile appeared on your lips as you leaned into Solomon's chest. Some things truly never changed, and you were grateful for those. They shared a beautiful bond, but you couldn't let it interfere with your own connections.

Wrapping an arm around you, Solomon said boisterously, "Look around. Isn't it beautiful? I told you that eloping would be the best choice. Haha, I can't deny that I love the madness of it!"

You laughed and wrapped your arms around your man too. "Then let's fly away from our demons and see how far we get."