#that painting ref is old as balls....

[plasterhound]

since i wont be posting on my rw blog anymore im just gonna repost all the stuff from there. get downtown+painting'd

[enwoso]

Can you do one where Tiny gets tackled at football badly and Less has to stop Leah fighting a 4 year old and the ref 🤣

NOT ON MY WATCH | alessia russo x child!reader x leah williamson

grumpy masterlist | something extra

saturday mornings were always a whirlwind of activity in the russo household. the crisp air, the smell of freshly cut grass and the distant sound of cheering were the hallmark of football day.

as always on a saturday morning, alessia alongside leah for swapping their football boots for warm coats and gloves as they stood on the sidelines of a football pitch clutching warm drinks as they watched you play in your mini five aside game.

you'd always inherit your mummy's love for the game, you basically eat, sleep and breath football. granted it took a little more persuasion with the help of your little furry friend, benny the hamster, that leah pulled through with much to alessia dislike as to how much she could now hear that stupid hamster wheel through the night.

but nevertheless you were running up and down the pitch in your red and white predator boots with a determined expression painted across your face as you chased the ball with fierce concentration.

alessia beamed with pride every time you got involved in the action it much better to see you actually play than to pick the daisy's out the ground...

whereas leah, as always the competitive one was practically coaching you from the sidelines.

"come on tiny! push up! get to the ball!" leah shouted her voice louder than most of the parents as she flapped her arms around to show her intentions.

alessia nudged leah who was standing next to her, grinning, "relax babe, she's four. she's there to have fun. she's not playing for the lionesses" alessia teased.

"yet! she's not playing for them yet. but the little one has got talent! i'm just giving her a helping hand to help her reach her full potential." leah shot back with a smirk as she went back to yelling and flapping her arms around like a bird.

the game was fast paced and you were holding your own until, out of nowhere one the kids on the opposing team went in hard for the ball.

it wasn't a cleaner challenge by all means, it was a full on clumsy tackle. you went flying, landing in a heap on the grass.

alessia felt her heart stop as her throat went dry for a minute. you sat up, your bottom lip trembling as you looked around in confusion before bursting into tears.

alessia immediately moved to step forward but she wasn't quick enough. leah was already on the field pointing her finger as her face was filled with fury.

"leah!" alessia hissed, chasing after her.

leah stormed over to the child responsible, who was all of four years old and looked slightly alarmed as leah folded her arms across her chest.

"oi! what was that? you can't just go tackling people like that! she's tiny!" leah said her voice filled with authority as you were being helping back to your feet by your teammates.

the little boy in question who was now definitely regretting his decision blinked up at leah, wide eyed. "it- it was an accident" he squeaked.

"an accident? that didn't look like an accident to me!" leah shot back as she pointed dramatically to you as you were being comforted by your coach.

the referee, a teenager who looked like he'd much rather be anywhere else and most definitely just there for the few extra bucks it gave him, hurried over. "um excuse me, miss, you can't just-"

"and you!" leah spun on her heel, the little boy rushing off as leah cut the ref off mid sentence. "are you even watchin' the game? that was a clear foul! your supposed to protect the players you know!"

the referee's face flushed. "it's just a kids game miss. calm down-"

"calm down?! my girlfriend's daughter has just been basically flattened! how am i supposed to-"

"leah williamson!!" alessia interrupted, grabbing leah by the arm and pulling her back. "the kids four. your yelling at a four year old and the ref too. seriously?"

leah blinked, suddenly aware of the scene she was causing. parents on the sidelines were staring, some trying their best not to laugh, others looking concerned. alessia dragging leah off the pitch as she stopped back at their place on the sidelines looking the girl in the eye.

"babe, i know your upset. but lovies fine. she's tough, just like her mum." alessia said her voice calming but also firm. "let it go before you end up banned from mini-football and end up being slagged off in the parents groupchat."

leah hesitated, glancing back at the little boy who looked like he may start crying at any moment and then to the referee who was trying to organise the game so the restart could happen as he was probably wishing he had never agreed to the job.

finally leah sighed and nodded as her shoulders relaxed. "fine," she muttered, allowing alessia to hand her back her cup of coffee she's palaces down on the grass in a hurry. "but if he tackles her again, i'm not holding back."

"easy tiger. now we're gonna watch the rest of the game quietly, okay?" alessia said seriously trying her best to hide her grin.

leah held her hands up in surrender, "i'll be good. promise"

meanwhile you were back in your feet, your tears long gone as you wiped your face with the back to your hands and rejoined the game with the same determined energy you'd had before. alessia pointing you out to leah.

"see? she's already back out there. she's fine."

leah sighed, a small smile tugging at her lips. "yeah she's a little fighter. guess she doesn't need me losing my head for her."

"exactly, save yourself the trouble of the names you'd be called in the parents groupchat.." alessia trailed off a teasing smirk as leah shot her an intrigued look.

"like what?"

alessia waved it off as leah tried to get an answer from her but alessia stayed tight lipped, "besides, your scary enough to keep an entire under 5s team in line."

leah laughed, wrapping an arm around alessia's waist as they watched you chase the ball down the field, "scary? nah, just protective."

alessia smiled as she leant into her girlfriend, "she's lucky to have you."

"and you," leah replied, kissing alessia's temple.

the game ended with your team celebrating the their victory. you running over to them with your signature grin as you held up your little trophy, as well as a participation medal as your mummy scooped you up in her arms showering you with kisses as leah ruffled your hair.

"oh lovie you were so good out there, me and le are so proud of you." alessia grinned as she placed you back on the ground as you immediately went to take your shin pads out your socks.

"our little superstar, you were brilliant!" leah smiled ruffling your hair once again as you passed your shin pads to your mummy to hold along with your trophy.

"thanks!" you giggled, then looking up to leah your expression changing to a more serious look, "why were you shouting at the boy and the ref?"

alessia raised an eyebrow a teasing grin on her lips as she waited for leah to explain herself. leah scratched the back of her neck sheepishly. "uh, just.. makin' sure they know not to mess with you.."

you titled your head, "oh okay. but i can do that you know!"

alessia smile changed to a proud one as she nudged leah as a small giggled left her lips as she reached down to kiss your cheek, "see, that's my girl!"

[dgdraws]

A Water-mew, featuring all my brother's cats past and present

Adapting this classic into "cats playing poker" was a fun challenge! Process pics, details and original reference under the cut :)

Did you know there is actually a series of those dogs playing poker paintings? They were commissioned around 1900 to sell cigars. After picking one to reference based on the number of cats I needed to include, I photobashed myself a reference using pictures of my models:

Made a rough base from that and resized to a canvas big enough to print in good quality

Then I painted the cats, thinking I was nearly done, but of course setting myself up for two solid weeks of background and props and refinement. Also the two at either edge needed to be mirrored since I flipped the photo to make the ref! Reaaally glad I caught that early on.

Here's a side by side of the original A Waterloo and my version:

Now, you may be wondering why my expressive cat is not seated where the expressive dog is. The explanation lies in two factors, the story of the painting and the dispositions of these cats. [content warning for animal/pet death]

If you know about poker, you can interpret this scene. If you're like ma and you have no idea how poker works, you need someone to explain, so here goes:

based on the cards laying first in the middle, from right to left the dogs have in front of them a good hand, a nothing hand, a decent hand, an amazing hand and the last one has no cards before them, just chips.

That chips only dog won the round, and you can see their cards in the middle on top of the others, a pair of twos, which is an absolute dogshit hand (if you will pardon the pun).

Paired with the title of the piece, A Waterloo, we gather the leftmost dog just bluffed their way into a big win, and the expressive dog next to them just folded a stellar hand that should have won easily.

Part two, the cat's dispositions.

Left to right we have Bubbles, Sophie, Winston, Tater and Kali.

When I ask myself, which of these cats would take advantage of the rest? a clear winner emerges,

Bubbles, the bird boned runt who ate her siblings to survive before she was rescued from the trailer they'd been abandoned in. She is tiny, she weighs all of three pounds and she has the attitude of a cat 30x her size. She would 100% do this poker move and then she'd rub it in all their faces.

And poor Sophie ended up being sat in the chair with the best hand bc Kali is a weird beast like rightmost dog and Tater is that border collie in all but form and Winston is literally the doofy patriarch of this little clan

so, Sophie goes between him and Bubbles the Bluffer. And well, Sophie simply would not go 😱. She was the most tranquil cat. She just wanted to lay somewhere comfy and occasionally get pet.

In every single picture I have of her from 8 years of holiday visits she is making that same vacant stare as depicted. That is just who she was, so if she got tricked into folding an amazing hand in poker, at most she would do her weird grunt meow or squeak indignantly before waddling off to lay somewhere more comfy.

RIP Sophie, you were a real one.

RIP Winston, too, for that matter.

They were siblings and our family's first cats. It was really nice to spend some time with them this holiday season, just like the old days :)

I can't end this without pointing out my favorite detail:

I created different suits especially for a world where cats are the dominant species. For black we have fish and pawprint and red has cat heads and yarn balls. It was incredibly tedious getting all these on the cards, making sure they still had the right hands because that's actually important to the story, and creating two face card designs (😭) but it was worth it!!!

[chaotic-minds-think-alike]

Can you please talk about how you 3D model? I love your style and as an aspiring 3d modeller myself the dragon models you make are just so satisfying!! love the khepra (they can do no wrong)

Thank you!! I’d love to talk about it ,,

So I learned how to 3D model by following a roblox game studio called Sonar Studios a few years ago. The lead developer makes speedModeling videos on youtube if you'd like to reference those. Back then I could only learn by visuals and trying to figure out what they were doing but eventually after self teaching myself, I was able to become a trial dev for them and learn with them!! So what I’ll be talking about closely reflects their style of modeling.

First, I have this old Google slides I made of the basics of blender (program I use)(you can ignore the parts about roblox)

But before that, I want to share how my models started out (after a bit of eyeballing)

This guy looks good visually UNTIL you look at his wireframe... oh boy... Some issues I can name here are: modifiers not applied, unoptimized, seems kinda lazily done

BUT! I wanted to continue modeling due to the idea of having "digital action figures of my designs" which is super fun lol. So I practiced here and there and now I'm pretty comfortable where I'm at but I wont pass up the opportunity to learn new things about blender!

(wings hidden for convenience) You can see now, this guy is MUCH cleaner looking compared to that model from 2021. I want to say though, the only modifier I don't apply unless I'm going to rig the model is the Mirror modifier.

OPTIMIZATION. IS. IMPORTANT! (and so is making sure your model looks clean on the wireframe level)

Look at the stats of both these models! The left is the model from 2021 while the right is the model from 2024... huge difference! That's because I learned how to optimize! Detail of your model plays a huge part in this too but you can see that visually, both appear to be just as detailed. (Lower numbers usually means better BUT do not over-optimize because it can make your model look lower quality. Clean up your model the best you can while retaining as much original quality as possible! it is OK to cut out some design elements, for example if you have a really complex splotch pattern, depending on how detailed, it's ok to get rid of smaller and less important patterns as long as you keep close to the original shape to preserve quality.)

Some things of note before I move on:

The way I apply materials in the google slides is outdated (in my style) and now I follow this tutorial (I also change my model ref sheets to include gradient palettes if I need them)

I DO THIS AS A HOBBY! Not everything I do is perfect and that's okay!

I ALWAYS simplify my ref sheets to make them easier to model (it is OK to have a super detailed design as long as there's no super tiny details you wont notice)(additionally, if your design is detailed and your numbers start to go up, don't worry)

I have a natural eye for 3D shapes which is why modeling comes easy to me but if you struggle with only a side view of your subject then draw/reference more angles!

Also... you didn't ask but I want to touch back on the idea of "digital action figures" with the basics of rigging your model

I follow this tutorial but specifically the section on "rigid rigging" because weight painting is still a mystery to me. I know it's important.. but because I don't use my models besides personal use, my rigging abilities are super messy lol. I don't name my bones unless it's for symmetry reasons. Something also of note is when I'm ready to rig my model, I split it. Basically meaning I turn it from a figure to an action figure by giving it ball joints! (this part is probably the most tedious and boring)

In this style of modeling, your joints may never be perfect but it doesn't matter, you learn to love it.

[dantelionwishes]

happy pokemon day, everyone!! [jumpscares you with new refs of my ocs] DO YOU REMEMBER THEM DO YOU MISS THEM DO YOU LOVE TH-

had new refs of my 2020 ocs made to commemorate- these guys initially got me drawing + posting art again so i gotta give it to them for being the OGs 👏👏 and a big thank you to everyone who stuck with me ever since they debuted 3 years ago!

descriptions under the cut in case my handwriting is illegible:

CHAMPION D

shades with special lenses

uses ultra balls

front logo

dynamax band

relaxed mode- hair down & glasses (he's near sighted)

back logo

gloves

low social battery. hyper extrovert champion vs crybaby introvert trainer

eye detail = 9 colors can be simplified to 6 from afar

puberty blockers keep him...short!

GYM LEADER POPPY

military cap

belts

dogtags with his information (he sometimes forgets...)

his pokeballs are also labelled from the bottom

all his pokemon have this (red) bandanna & dogtags

bandages are purely psychological. poppy forgets he isn't injured anymore & puts it on only to comfort himself

lost half his fingers, some toes, and an ear when he was 10 years old- frostbitten from freezing in lake acuity. (he has prosthetics now though)

pants back design

hair goes to his right side

belt strap

eye detail

wears gloves- hides prosthetic fingers

TRAINER/RANGER TURQUOISE

"collar"

"skirt"

gets a scar post-oshawott incident

uses luxury balls

tie pin

eye detail

wig

real hair is RED!

clothes underneath

flirtatious prince who steals girl's hearts

BLUE BIRTHMARK on nape

fingerless gloves + painted (black) nails

[civilotterneer]

Hi y'all!

I'm always down for asks! Though I make no promises to have all the answers. I'm pretty sociable so feel free to interact!

I don't really intend to frequently post NSFW, but if I do, I'll always community tag cover it. Please see Tags of Note below for more details on what you may want to mute..

I've also got an alt where I do most of my reblogs so this page can stay clean: @civilotterneerredlines

I've also got a Bluesky that I mainly just repost some of my art on: @civilotterneer.bsky.social

I am doing my best to keep my FurAffinity account updated, but it's also the main place I'll store Not-Safe-For-Tumblr art:

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/civilotterneer/

Master list of my larger projects can be found at the end of this blurb.

Wanna know more?

Master List:

Laundry Day - Funny lewd comic about CIv doing laundry

The Search for Civ - Civ has gone missing, how will Lye find him?

Tags of Note:

#Civil Otterneer - I use this to tag all posts I make.

#uncivilotterneer - horny posting, and NSFW. This blanket terms all directly lewd posts, but may not catch stuff considered only 'spicy' as per the speedo tag below.

#speedo - posts where characters are shirtless or wearing very little, like a Speedo, typically not with sexual intent, but stuff may be a bit spicy.

#Civ or #Civ OC: Civ - Civ! My main fursona and primary character

#Lye or #Civ OC: Lye- Civ's friend and housemate, a cat necromancer (The Nekomancer, lol)

#Livic or #Civ OC: Livic - Civ's devilish copy and roommate, a devilish otter

#Civ OC: Xaphar: Xaph - Civ's old friend and romantic interest, a blue dragon

#The Otterneer-verse: Lore and malarkey about the world Civ and his friends live in

#The Reality Room - comics involving Civ and a magical virtual reality device

#ask - posts with asks from people

Fun facts:

I am a practicing civil engineer-in-training. I originally got a degree in environmental engineering, but civil speaks to me more now (they're very similar degrees so it's in fact possible to switch post-college). I'm focusing my work in wastewater and water treatment, with a healthy amount of site grading and water/sewer pipe networks for the city.

I swim just about every day I can, which is pretty close to daily. Thus my fursona's an otter to reflect that. Plus I'm just a silly little guy sometimes.

Ich lerne Deutsch, aber Ich bin nicht sehr gut.

I enjoy tabletop games a ton. Big fan of DND/Starfinder and I'm currently running a Starfinder campaign. I also play a bit of MTG, but more often I play Star Wars Armada, which I paint and homebrew for.

I have 2 3D printers, one FDM and one Resin. I'm typically printing game pieces for Armada, which a roommate and I are currently using to make a Star Trek, UNSC, and Covenant faction for the game. I also 3D print mini's for DND, and my roommate group paints them. The FDM is the favorite child, though its older so maybe that's unfair. (I'd like to note that she's now in her rebellious stage and tends to malfunction more now. The resin's now the grade A student)

I've got two pets: one's my mutt Lady (she's a rez mutt with mixed aussie, german shep, sheep dog, herder, and about every other breed on the rez), the other's my snake Striker (lesser morph ball python).

Base model originally by https://x.com/GalileoGB?t=A570ht3M6JPpeOog-Rn3Kg&s=09

Ref Sheet (Not updated for model changes):

[dreemurr-skelememer]

heya! sorry if you got an ask like this before but i wanted ask about your art!

I was rewatching your halloween speedpaint and i wanted to ask:

1: what references do you use for the skeletons body/ how did you learn to draw the bones so well?

2: how many references do you usually use for a rendered piece like that?

3: how did you improve your art over the years and where and how did you pick up tips and tricks that helped you improve?

4: what's a tip of advice you can give to someone who wants to start doing digital art?

Thanks and you dont have to answer!

AHHHH omg that's so old. i really need to start making speedpaints again, my art style has changed so drastically lol

1: what references do you use for the skeletons body/ how did you learn to draw the bones so well?

references. are. your. best. friend. i used to HATTEEEE SKELETONS before i got into undertale purely because i hated drawing them, specifically around the ribs and pelvis (still a struggle) rely on refs! follow artists you like!!!! practice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2: how many references do you usually use for a rendered piece like that?

i barely did, if you saw LOL only for a few of the materials that i needed help shading with, but other than that, not much really

this is mostly because im. really bad. at trying to help myself. LOL but! usually i have a lot of references open, not just for big pieces, at least i use them more now. but i used to just fuck it we ball i have pages up often, so i can't exactly count it but yeah

3: how did you improve your art over the years and where and how did you pick up tips and tricks that helped you improve?

talked abt it with a friend today, but i often did quick and fast drawings without much care for the mistakes because i grew up on animation! (flipnote studio)

it's good practice to draw quick rhythmic sketches without many erasures or undos to get yourself used to efficient sketching. the speed also helps you gain more confidence! it's essential

4: what's a tip of advice you can give to someone who wants to start doing digital art?

PLEEAAASEEEE look at tutorials and digital color theory. i see most beginner digital artists complain about not being able to get into digital art because "it doesn't feel like traditional art" well duh!!! ofc it doesn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't treat it that way! digital art is a WHOLE DIFFERENT MEDIUM, treat it as such

when you get a program, you need these tutorials and guides or else you're gonna hate yourself and hate digital art

remember: digital paint does not blend the same way traditional paint does (unless you're using a program that imitates that) imagine digital art as like. being a watercolor artist trying to learn oil paint, you get me??????

[makoredeyes]

Hi! I was wondering if it's alright to make fanart of your Titanfall oc Red with proper credit to you :)

NGL I had to sleep on this one. Because on one hand, fanart is ALWAYS cool, and I treasure the commissioned works I have on this guy. On the other- yeah, still feeling real cagey about some of the stuff that happened. So, really appreciate you asking.

The problem with Red is he started out as extremely Canon adjacent as a personality assigned to Blisk’s Titan but he became so much more than that. I started writing for him (and KB) at the end of I think 2017 and have continued to do so in RP and fanfic p much on the daily ever since. I’ve given a lot of myself to Red, the good and the bad (he has my impatience and my temper for example) and he’s kind of become a love letter to myself- a reminder that I am worthy of love, and of care… and as such, became way too gotdamn important to me and I am trying very hard now to separate the self from the creation in kind of a too-late damage control. Oops 🙃

I love him, he is my comfort character, and I love that others love him too. I’d love it more if folks respect my boundaries about him. Sticking him in fics and RPs (yes someone was RPing him without my involvement 🫠) is not cool but yeah. Yeah fanart is cool. Thank you for asking.

Have an old as balls ref sheet I did for myself a few years back in prep for this outrageously awesome plushie commission I got from StitchyButton over on Etsy (highly recommend if you can afford)

You wanna know how much of a fucking nerd I am I have the keychains for his fun-sized Predator cannon there AND a pair of converse chucks I painted to match the boots now too 🤣

[counterattacker]

Updated Tanva's design today! She's depicted here in a Windchaser draped-sleeve robe-- this type of outfit is generally considered casual but traditional and classy, and the translucent silk wraps and fur collar are particularly fashionable for younger Windchasers!

(Alt version of this sheet with mini-insets for detail shots of teeth and eyes, plus old refsheet and major changes, plus reasoning for changes, under the cut)

Ref with a couple of detail insets!

And old ref!

Major changes include:

Removed most of the gradient markings and defined colors more sharply to avoid overcomplicating the design (as Tanva's design is already fairly complex-- the old design stood out awkwardly against the simpler designs for the rest of the Dancer's Steppe cast)

Changed teardrop tattoos/face paint to 'winter wind' spirals due to possible resemblance to prison tattoos

Completely changed outfit to match current Windchaser lore and because I didn't like the old one

Changed body type somewhat because fuck it we ball

Made boot-and-glove fur curly/swirly to match hair

[gamestop-compendium]

101 Pinball World (Teyon, 2012)

who greenlit this and can i go back in time to get them to un-greenlight it

the game 101 Pinball World is a dsiware title that attempts to be 4 themed pinball cabinets from the comfort of your nintendo dsi. it fails at this. the word "game" is doing some serious heavy lifting also

it boasts 4 worlds with a total of 101 tables when combined, but every "world" is really just the same set of board with different coats of paint. your ball can get stuck in places it cant get out of without tilting (which entirely disables your flippers until the ball is offscreen) and its happened to me multiple times a game before. it has 3 save files if you want to subject your friends to it and promptly lose said friends over it. someone made a trailer for it and noted how you can get a slow ball, tilt the board, or even have Ball Immunity, the number one funniest thing about this title

the sound design is both lacking and overwhelming at the same time. but the worst part is the... music? do i call it music? does it count as music? does any of this matter? does it ever end? do we get some sort of retribution for the horrendous auditory crimes of 101 Pinball World? i can answer none of these questions. as if you can even hear the music over the atrociously-mixed sounds of flippers and bumpers and points screaming from the ds speakers

here is the "soundtrack"/torment, uploaded in a video by a definitely unremarkable person who definitely didnt make a game everyone was talking about in like 2018. no siree. never happened

mystmans commentary on the game is pretty on-point, speaking as someone who decided this game was a good thing to spend my precious dsi shop money on a decade ago. i still get the title theme stuck in my head from time to time, though, since thats like the 2nd best song in the game. theres only 5 songs in this entire 5-dollar game, by the way. and also it was 5 entire dollars

which means theres no reason to rank them individually /ref

5. wizard theme - hilariously garbage. "ah shit, someone killed the keyboard player." worst thing i think ive ever heard from the ds. its even worse in person believe me. this is not music

4. space theme - kinda bland? idk. its like one synth loop forever. could be worse though, wizard theme proves that real well. has a weird buzzing in the back that really makes my brain hurt. i like the little ascending-descending sounds! very fun i forgot about those

3. pirate theme - good song, but ABSOLUTELY not pirate music. this sounds more like a beta track from club penguin: elite penguin force. i bet if you changed the soundfont itd fit the penguin bill just fine

2. title theme - catchy but empty. its like how modern deco*27 songs feel to me: good melody and beat, hollow instrumental. used to be 7-year-old-mes jam though. BEAUTIFUL bassline. goddamn. just gimme this for the whole ost honestly. itd only get a little grating.

1. spooky theme - regularly gets stuck in my head, albeit a better version i thought of so im not tormenting myself forever. this is what a song should sound like. it feels like this was made first and then the devs started running out of time to get the game out. keyboard drones in the back kinda give me a headache. but tbf that happens with all of the music and this is just the one that does it the least

overall, this game isnt even worth it for the bit. do not play this. i have found few games that are worse. maybe ill talk about them eventually. one day 101 Minigolf World will have its day. not yet though. 101 Pinball World was a soulless shovelware cash grab and it wasnt even fun. what a waste of 5 bucks. shame on you tiny tadpole past gio

overall rating: 2.7 - Real Bad. has 2 good music tracks and the menu ui looks nice. boring, broken, and somewhat painful under the surface -- like broken glass hidden under a shitty old paper-thin rug. cost too much money on the dsi shop channel for what it is. Do Not Play.

[smute]

“My roots go down to the depths of the world, through earth dry with brick, and damp earth, through veins of lead and silver. I am all fibre. All tremors shake me, and the weight of the earth is pressed to my ribs.” (Virginia Woolf, The Waves)

Hi! I'm Jan 🍒 • he/they; er/ihm • 32 • gay queer nb man toy right hand arm. man. • nuance enjoyer • germany • i have two literature degrees and poast about man boops and their ilk 🍉 • queue is on 24/7 🍓

my letterboxd 🍿

tag list ⬇️

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#my face = selfies and og pics

#my art = stuff i made

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smut:

i tag #nudity to make filtering easier for my followers. that includes all kinds of nudity (full, partial, sexual, non-sexual, etc.) and i use it in addition to the existing community tags and the other nsfw tags listed below. if you want to be on the safe side feel free to block individual tags as well:

#ah ohhh big honkin boobies some massive mmmmommy milkers huge hombers like massive gazongas just enormous milkin hooters = the highly acclaimed tiddy tag

#thirst tag

#full cocking balls = 🍆 and 🍒

#omg nobody look hes ass = butts 🍑

#ough veiny = veiny body parts

#ough hairy = hairy men

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#hands = 👋

#slutty slutty stache = mustache pics 👨🏻

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oh and i use "👁️👁️" in a few other horny tags so if you filter that too you should be good <3

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text:

#poetry = poems

#words = quotes 📖

#web weaving = webbed weavings

#note to self = kind motivational things/advice/general positivity ☀️

#lit = literature/lit crit/all my hottest takes 🤓

#d. h. lawrence = blorbo from my studies

#the lonely city my beloved = book i'll never shut up about

#ling = linguistics

#writing = writing 📝

#to read = book recs and articles 📚

#read later = reblogged without reading

visual:

#to watch = stuff i'm totally gonna watch 📺

#art = mostly paintings 🖼️

#photography = photography 📷

#portrait = portraits

#people = duh

#dudes chilling sexily = art of dudes chilling sexily (tm harsha)

#men with books = 3 guesses

#arch = architecture

#homes = interiors

#dream home = exteriors lmao

#donttouchme = remote hice 🏡

#the siren call of the altbauwohnung = pre-war apartments

#they dont make them like this anymore = old books📕

#vestiture = clothes shoes bags jewelry etc

#10/10 would wear = also clothes 💃🏼

#embroidery = embroidery 🪡

nature:

#i miss the sea = water 🌊

#so liedownable = soft grass 🌱

#moistcore = gratifying wetness

#ah yes. the gnarled branch rough and twisted beckons you to dream = gnarled branches

#hills to roll down = rolldownable hills

#frühling = spring 🌷

#sommer = summer 🌞

#herbst = fall 🍁

#winter = ☃️

#i want snow = snow and ice ❄️

#strawbebbies my beloved = 🍓

#me i pet him wethands style = soft animals; mostly dogs

#our michael = old photos of cats (and dogs) 🐈

#or so i've heard = big-eared animals

#ough dr puderzucker = corgis 🐶

#pasum = possum pics (and some raccoons) 🐾

#horse girl tag = irl hoarsies and rdr2 🐎

#creacherpoasting = creature posting

vibes:

#god i wish that were me = stuff i wish i could be

#i think that would fix me = things that would fix me

#lovecore = 💕🥰

#slutcore = self-explanatory 🖤

#snorkmimicore = oh so eepy 🥱

#on all levels except physical i am a smoker = smokers being hot and cool 🚬

#oh i remember hair = bald poasts

#ough = ough <3

#wholesome = wholesome things 💖

#i hate the future = dystopian things

places:

#i miss london = london 🇬🇧

#ough pawwis = paris 🇫🇷

#vedi napoli e poi muori & #italianpoasting = italy 🇮🇹

#island = iceland 🇮🇸

#faroe islands = the faroe islands 🇫🇴

#americana = norf america 🇨🇦🇺🇸🇲🇽

#fucking switzerland = 🇨🇭

#trains = trains 🚂

#i want to go to there = other places

i try to use common trigger and content warnings, but i'm the most consistent with things related to EDs, dieting, weight loss, and fatphobia

format: "[thing]" or "[thing] tw"/ "[thing] cw"

(last updated December 2024)

[orangepanic]

Random Irosami headcanons: Sports

Though they are both disgustingly fit, Iroh is the more naturally athletic of the two. He likes playing sports that involve running and dexterity as opposed to bending power (it's very hard - though not impossible - to firebend while running). In a modern au he's often in track and field or in crew. When he's older he's the kind of guy who plays racquetball with his colleagues after work. On vacations he'll do anything that will get him outside, from long walks on the beach to kayaking to hiking up mountains for the view. He'll nominally support FN sports teams, but gets bored sitting and watching for long periods and so only does this socially.

Asami is more the rabid sports fan of the paint your face, know all the stats variety. She's been following pro-bending since she was nine and now owns a box at the arena where she stands the whole game screaming at the ref. But keeping in shape herself is mostly a chore and stress relief. Going to the gym is somewhat like brushing her teeth - she just does it, because when she doesn't she feels icky and gross. But unlike Iroh, Asami prefers indoor group classes with a beat like kickboxing and gymnastics. In a modern au she does best at sports like volleyball and tennis where it's an advantage being tall and she doesn't have to run very far.

When they have kids, Iroh enthusiastically takes on the role of kiddie coach, absolutely glowing with pride as his three-year-old wanders vaguely off in search of a ball. "Did you see that?" he elbows his wife as said kid trips and falls on the ball. "Natural talent." Asami for her part makes sure her kids always have the mom with the biggest sign in the stands. They are all embarrassed but also feel very loved.

[uswntxfootball]

we should be rivals (leah williamson x chelsea!reader)

being the newest chelsea signing and a diehard fan all your life, you didn’t understand the arsenal hype until you saw her...

word count: 2541 ish

a/n: big thanks to @4stars-uswnt​ and @sauceysonny​ for ideas.. (though they were really creepy and both somehow gave me the exact same one at the same time...)

part 2 is out!

——

you’re jolted out of your thoughts when kerr slaps you on your back.

“you coming kid?”

you nod slowly, unable to tear your eyes off the wembley stadium sign.

“what’s up rook?”

“oh nothing nothing, i’m just taking it all in.”

after your stellar performance at ucla, it didn’t take long for you to be noticed by the big teams.

a longtime chelsea fan, to say you were beyond ecstatic when they wanted to sign you would be an understatement.

jessie signing with chelsea too was just the cherry on top.

kerr lets out a sigh in understanding.

“you’ve made it this far for a reason kid, don’t get intimidated. we’ve got a finals game to win.”

with that said, the forward patted your back and walked into the stadium.

you stood there for a bit longer, only broken out of your trance when your best friend, who had witnessed you standing in front of the stadium for a good ten minutes, finally just rolled her eyes and dragged you into the stadium.

“jess i was getting to it!”

“no you weren’t the dinosaurs literally went extinct in the time you stood there.”

“oh shut up.”

jessie let out a loud laugh at that, and led the two of you to your spots in the locker room, both of you bickering all the way.

you get quiet when you reach your spot and your silence causes jessie to turn around.

“damn no come back?”

you shake your head lightly.

“no i just can’t believe we made it ya know?”

jessie’s tone softens when she replies, “i know. i really can’t believe we’re here at wembley.”

you give the midfielder a hug, a moment cut short by sam, who yells for the two of you to hurry up.

~~

donning a #19 on your back, you made your way onto the pitch for warmups, to see that arsenal was out too.

as a die hard chelsea fan, you never quite payed any attention to who was on the other teams, and combined with your nerves, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to focus on the opposition at the moment.

playing your first ever fa cup final-scratch that.

playing and starting in your first ever fa cup final, the nerves were really starting to eat up at you now.

to combat your nerves you’ve learned to just get lost in what you’re doing.

to distract yourself, losing yourself in whatever you were doing.

you were so hyper focused on your stretching and warmups that you didn’t look up until it was too late, your body crashing into the red jersey in front of you.

in your haste you didn’t even notice who you ran into.

you scramble to your feet quickly and mutter a “sorry” before running towards a laughing jessie, your cheeks beet red.

“oh my god did anyone record that?”

you flush harder.

“shut up fleming.”

~~

on the opposite side of the field, leah was still laying on the grass, unable to comprehend what had just happened.

the flash of blue left as quick as it had happened , and the annoyed look originally plastered on her face was wiped away after seeing yours.

she was..

already...smitten?

daan poked her in the side with her cleat.

“stop staring off into space and get your gay ass up already.”

“i- right”

leah took daan’s outstretched hand and pulled herself up.

her eyes met jordan’s, who gave her a very knowing look.

“no.”

“i didn’t say anything.”

“just. no.”

~~

you stood behind jessie in the tunnel, the nerves visible on your face.

the vets all took note of your nervousness, each making sure to whisper a “good luck” or “you’ll do great” in your ear as they passed by.

it helped a bit.

a few of the arsenal players also gave you encouraging nods and smiles, something you greatly appreciated.

your breath caught in your throat when a certain arsenal player gave you a smile, the girl just stupidly attractive.

you gave her a quick grin and shook your head softly, trying to get your head back into the game and rid it of any distractions.

however, you couldn’t help but sneak one more glance as the opposing team walked out, catching a #6 and “williamson” on the back of her jersey.

the game began and you made an observation.

well it was more like a fact.

leah was good.

like crazy good.

every time the ball was at your feet the defender was there in a flash.

every.

single.

time.

her tackles were perfectly timed and just beautiful, with just enough on them to knock the ball from your feet without tripping you.

but as the game progressed and the score remained at 0-0, everyone was getting a little desperate, a little sloppy.

so when the next ball landed at your feet, leah overestimated the distance and as a result, her leg got hooked around yours and the two of you went tumbling down, you landing right on top of her.

you push yourself up onto your palms and the wind promptly gets knocked out of you.

the two of you look at each other, chests heaving and you make another observation.

and again, it’s more of a fact.

she was gorgeous.

absolutely,

without a doubt,

gorgeous.

you could feel your cheeks reddening and palms sweating as you looked down at her stuck, in a trance and absolutely smitten.

in your staring, you were unaware that this was the second time this had happened today.

leah however, was aware.

she was very very aware.

and you missed the way the defender’s breath hitched when you shifted your weight slightly, all too caught up in your own thoughts.

the ref’s whistle was what knocked both of you out of your trances, both equally flustered and cheeks equally red, you stood up quickly and stuck a hand out, almost staggering over at the sparks that shot up your arm when she pulled herself up.

the two of you were now standing, and you opened your mouth to say something, but leah starts first, the heavy english accent making your heart skip a beat.

“that was my fault i’m sorry”

“oh don’t be it’s fine” you reply quickly, the two of you falling into a silence right after.

never breaking eye contact, the tension was almost palpable.

its only when you hear jessie calling your name that you break it, turning to look at your best friend, before quickly looking back towards the defender to give her a nod and a smile before running towards your team, actions that she reciprocates.

~~

“i feel like if i didn’t call you the two of you would’ve started fucking right in front of us” jessie said, a comment that elicited a snort from eriksson, and a punch from you.

“ow! y/n!”

you stick your tongue out at her in response.

leah’s eyes followed you as you left, a soft smile forming when she sees you and jessie’s antics.. though she isn’t quite sure of the nature relationship between the two of you yet…

right. the game.

there’s an fa cup final still happening.

the rest of the game continued as usual, though you couldn’t help but notice that a certain defender’s eyes were on you every few minutes.

to be honest you couldn’t keep your eyes off her either, but you shook your head.

you had a game to win.

and win it you did, scoring your sixth goal for chelsea with a beautiful chip into the corner of the next and as a result securing the fa cup title for your team with a 1-0 win over arsenal.

you shook hands after the match, leah holding onto your hand just a little bit longer than normal, an act that kicked your heart into high gear once again.

a few minutes later, you walked slowly, making your way back to the locker room when you notice leah chatting with lisa, the latter who, upon meeting your eyes promptly disappears.

all of a sudden it’s just the two of you.

you break the silence first.

“you played really well, i’m sorry you guys didn’t win.”

leah thinks for a moment before she replies:

“it’s fine. i mean i had a hot girl on top of me twice today. i can’t complain.”

your cheeks turn red at her words, but you cock your head to the side in confusion when the words fully register.

“twice? what do you mean twice?”

“warmups?”

a little silence. and then, the lightbulb moment.

“oh my god. that was you? i’m so sorry i’m-“

leah laughs and brushes it off.

“don’t worry. it was cute.”

she was full on flirting with you now, and you really, really couldn’t handle it.

thank god for jessie, saving you from what could have been absolute chaos, when she calls for you from the locker room.

before leah turns, she gives you a wink, effectively freezing you in place, your cheeks painted scarlet.

jessie lets out a sigh from across the field.

“gay panic.”

~~

“i’m not! i’m just.. doing scientific research?” you answer hesitantly.

jessie rolls her eyes.

“sure y/n. whatever you say.”

you weren’t an arsenal fan.

you weren’t.

you just happened to catch all their games.

especially when leah was starting.

who were you kidding even leah sitting on the bench was attractive.

you had it bad.

“if you watch a live game i will make fun of you until the day i die.”

jessie pauses and then corrects herself:

“no scratch that. if you buy an arsenal jersey i will make fun of you until the day i die.”

you scoff.

“i would neve-“

you bought one.

a #6 arsenal jersey.

ugh an arsenal jersey? you were pretty sure your family would disown you.

at the very least jessie saw the hilarity of it.

“my god you are whipped,” she got out through a fit of laughter.

you debated telling her about the game ticket you purchased lying on your desk.

for the sake of the little bit of chelsea pride and sanity you had left, you decided against it.

~~

you wore a chelsea shirt.

granted it couldn’t be seen under your black hoodie, but you had to balance out the evils in some way, and slapping an old chelsea crest over your heart as you stepped foot in the arsenal stadium seemed like the best option to do so.

your seat was close to the pitch, right on top of the tunnel, and you hoped to catch a glimpse of the defender, all the while remaining anonymous.

the plan was for you to watch the game, and slip out when it finished without being seen and recognized.

lucky for you, the social distance seating was still in play, so with the 6 foot distance, your mask and baseball cap (and sunglasses when you came in), no one had noticed you.

you would never live it down if you were recognized.

the things you do for leah.

maybe you are a little whipped, but that’s besides the point.

arsenal was playing west ham today, a team you didn’t care all too much about.

your heart beat a little bit faster when the teams began walking out, it skipping a full beat when you saw the defender.

the game began and you couldn’t tear your eyes off of her, staring in awe at the absolute perfection of her crosses.

at halftime, arsenal was up by 4.

as you were sitting right above the tunnel, it was just your luck that when the teams made their way back into the locker rooms, leah looked up and her eyes locked with yours.

your eyes widened and you cursed internally.

leah shook her head and smirked, giving you a quick wink before she disappeared out of your sight.

you were panicking, and you had no choice but to give jessie a call.

~~

“you’re wHERE?” the canadian screamed into the receiver.

“i know i know but SHE SAW ME. i’m never going to live this down.” you groaned.

jessie couldn’t stop laughing.

“stop it. help me. before half time starts. please.”

“what do you want me to do?”

“i don’t know! give me some advice, tell me she won’t make fun of me, that stuff”

“okay okay, just be you. you haven’t scared her off yet so that has to mean something right?”

“oh shut up fleming.”

“hey! i’m trying to help!”

“fine fine continue.”

“so just keep doing what you’re doing. except don’t bang on the field this time. oh and don’t be an idiot. got it?”

“yes very helpful jess.”

“i know that’s why they call me the modern socrates. i’ve got the answers to everythin- you’re rolling your eyes at me aren’t you?”

you shrug even though she can’t see it.

“anddd now you’re shrugging. see this is the repayment i get for being such a dear and loving friend. wow i ca-“

“okay jess that’s enough, the second half is starting now, so bye thanks for your help, love you and don’t die!”

you let out a sigh before focusing again on the game in front of you.

arsenal’s performance the second half was even more spectacular than the first, netting 5 goals, bringing the total up to 9.

leah’s performance here was even better than that if possible.

the ninth and final goal was scored by none other than leah williamson herself, with a header from a perfectly placed corner by katie.

the whistle blew and arsenal won with a sweeping victory, leah coming away with 4 assists and a goal, something that you couldn’t help but be a little proud of.

your eyes never left the defender, who went around and took a few photos with fans before making her way towards you.

“fancy seeing you here, didn’t take you to be an arsenal fan.”

“oh i’m just scouting out the enemy” you retorted. “i’ve actually got a chelsea shirt on under this.”

leah gasped with mock offense, “a traitor, how dare you.”

you let out a hearty laugh at that, missing the way leah’s eyes soften at the sound.

“on purely observational note, you played great today,” you comment.

leah responded with a wink:

“was showing off a little bit for you.”

“i will say that was a beautiful header, but it still can’t beat mine though” you grin cheekily.

“oh? might you show me how it’s done then, if you’re oh so great”

“come watch one of my game’s and you’ll find out” you reply, giving her a wink.

“ick me attending a chelsea game? i would never. i’m too loyal to my club. unlike you.”

you let out a gasp.

the banter went on for a little while longer, before leah cut you off and asked:

“would you like to go get coffee with me sometime?”

and before you could say anything she added:

“like on a date?”

you pretend to give it a bit of deep thought before saying:

“only if you come to one of my games.”

“deal.”

[hspn]

Our favorite HSPN posts 12

Here’s a list of our favorite Hair & Sports Programming Network posts from the past year:

A favorite: Thomas Tuchel & Emma Hayes are the best huggers in football.

The best of the rest:

Pernille gives the ref a piece of her mind

Internal debate

Celebrating the Club World Cup

One outfit army

Hospitality package

Epic stare down

I got you a ball boy

The true unsung heroes of the transfer windows

Three digits

Mr. Todd

Remember that time you guys said I was 85 on August 14, 2022?

Kadeisha cannot believe this shit

Conor loves chaos

Pay the Leeds guy his money day!

Matrixing it in from wherever he is

Phantom

All or Nothing

Multitask

Great game (for him)

Being part of the meetings

Museum guard

Just two adult men who never talk but hold hands

Thumbs up to the outfit

The hugest fan of the Svenska Cupen

18th-c. European minor aristocrat

Legos: Emma Hayes & Fernando Torres

The Oracle

Super super super fresh

The same issues as us 15 years ago

Old enough to have a job

Gets their honest reaction

Frame this quote

B. Badiashile

On Thomas Tuchel:

So much yelling he saved up

We got seriously lucky

He'd drive the team to Lille

Look at his legs go

On César Azpilicueta:

Stylish backheel flick

Paintings in the attic

Just loves the shithousing

Flex

Yes. Next question.

10 years

Previous favorites: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

[wondon23-the-drowned-kid]

ill confess this is a lot even for me to do it... (the m.o.d tome features) (inportant read the desc at the end)

(Huge thanks for the mod Mowzie’s mobs for the ferror Worghtnaut i think thats how its spelled)

(seasons include winter,attum,summer and spring diferent events happen depending on the season)  

(how i hate the fact my english is more shiter then horse shit... forgive me viewers ;w;) now lisen up this is the mod speaking and i just wana say that yeah... this book only the first chapter has like THOUSENS of things new... and ill be honest it would take SO FREAKING LONG to make it all so i added some of the things i wanted some of theses mobs werent even made by me but the mobs: apiary,warrior,mage,lotti,monsterhunter,mysteryus trader,king villager,megaboomer and Peak-a-boo. were made by me. so heres how it will be ill make a list of all of the new things that were added here cuz if i try to draw EVERYTHING dear god...it would take so freaking looooong ;-; so in this case if you must know the ref or the information about such thing as mob or feature you have 100% permission to dms me for the dethails im open and ill awser you when i have time besides this is the path im takeing. over 50+ mobs like cmon and 8 new bosses. (one last thing before the list some of theses mobs were also made so people could just do their charecters based on them. however lotti is sort of mine so dont copy him too much hes a boy i have been dreaming for the past 3years and I WANT HIM IN MINECRAFT PLEASE MOJANG) also some of theses features are entirely form mods well its the M.O.D tome what ya expect ?? for thoses ill still give info by using the mod the most ill describe is the one mobs made or based on smt but still made by me.

so heres the list and feel free to dms me for ref and new sutff:

Blocks: Ores: silver ore,thaleonite ore,ruby,topaz,saphire,lithium,titanium. decotrative: Mushy carpets,mosaic block (it has diferent colors), Cristal block,cristal glass,wallpaper empty blocks,drain block,chain block, stick block,hopper block and camuflage block. plants: Fosfirita flower,cotton flower,blue gaper,cornila flower,mountain moss.

Mobs!! (theses here are diferent ones from the first ones showed): illagers: Dynamite illarger,horse illarger, stealth illarger, tank illarger, villager: the painter,the quest maker and the floricultist. creepers:(along with a huge pack from the more creepers mod),burried creeper, missile creeper and the hollow creeper. animals: (EXTREMLY BIG thing from alex mobs NEVER UPSETS ME but no animals from the nether and the end are here from the mod) Quivster,beetle,ants,firelizard and viper, undead: dead warrior,dead chemistry exper,dead mage,dead archer. reinforced skeleton,golden skeleton,jungle skeleton, lost miner skeleton. 

BOSSES!!!: the 3 brothers of acient magic, The dead king, scrapster, meteoriter, sky chaser, sea recker.

features: Heavy wind!,mega trees (aka trees made with 12 spalings together),sandstorms,snowstorms,pushing winds,heavy rain,color change of trees.

items: Bloat fruit,dynamite bar,silver,titanium,lithium,thaleonite= amors and tools., wardrober table,forge anvil,fish net, long bow, harpoon,copper tools,mushy balls,rubble,wallpaper,camuflage paint, automatic pusher,beetle meat,magma scales (and boots), poison glands, rusty axe,rusty sword,rusty shield,old wand,rusty bow, reinforced bones, golden bones, muddy bones, cracked bones. flying potion,blasting potion,firetouch potion,morph potion,quest paper,advence fishing rod,golden fish rod, angler trinkets, super sword, zaladios, blasting powder, super streagth potion,super insta heal potion, contrapack.

food: (cooking for block heads makes a aperence here for variouse things) icecream,pizza,spagtthie and shulker meal.

new gran quest: 4 elemental stones (foreshadow ;) )

Mod: i guess I GUESS this is everything im trying my best on remenber everything i planed im telling you I THINK A LOT! and if theres smt im missing here and there i juge myself a lot for forgeting but again ya guys can ask for info im open im sorry i dint draw everythign but look at that IT WOULD TAKE AN ETERNITY. anywayes thats all.

(when your langueg isnt english) 

inglesh people:

[maxineswritingcenter]

You Saved Me - Derek Hale x fem!reader part 25

-----------

2005

It was the semi-finales for girl’s lacrosse. Miraculously, I was made captain as a freshman. Which meant, for some reason, people were offended and thought that I should be picked on more. Fact of the matter is that lacrosse is a game of strategy. Together; with the help of my teammates, we would play to win. Being captain wasn’t a choice, Finstock made me captain and the role was a big shoe to fill. But here we are, semi-finales.

As we made our way out to the play, I looked at the stands. Mom, Dad, Uncle Noah, Stiles, Scott on one end. Laura and Derek on the other side. 

There were fifteen minutes left in the game, the score was tied. We needed to make one more goal to win and get to the finales. For this next play, I was face to face with the other team captain, waiting for the pearl to be thrown. 

“You don’t deserve to be captain.” The girl glared, her eyes looked like they wanted to melt through my helmet and into my brain. 

“Excuse me?” 

“You heard me. I worked my ass off for four years to be captain. What makes you so special?” 

I blinked at her, a little confused as to where this hostility was coming from, “I’m just playing a game.” 

“A real captain knows the lacrosse is more than a game.” She smirked, “When we win this, I’m getting a scholarship to So Cal, so why don’t you just do what freshman do best and lose.” On one hand I felt bad for her. She probably had parents that pushed and pushed for her to be the best. And I also felt bad because I knew we were gonna win.

The ref blew the whistle starting play. And everything was going according to plan. That was until I was passed the pearl. I ran with it, tossing it to another player. Meaning that it was completely unnecessary for me to be tackled and would be considered aggressive. But that didn’t stop the other captain from using her entire body to slam me into the ground. One minute I was standing and the next I had was on the ground. My chest felt tight, like I was straining to breathe. When I opened my eyes, I saw her face over mine, smirking down at me. 

“HEY!” I heard Finstock’s booming voice, “Ref! Aren’t you gonna call that?!” No whistle, either the ref hadn’t seen it or he was allowing it. But Derek wasn’t allowing it. I heard multiple shouts and then watched the player who stood above me get shoved away, Derek replaced her. He knelt down, placing a hand on my shoulder. 

“Derek, what are you doing?” I groaned. 

“Can you get up?” He asked, trying to help me sit up. I hissed at the movement. 

Derek turned back to the bench, “Get a medic!” And only then did the whistle blow. The girl had given plenty of excuses, but they still gave her team a three minute penalty that made them lose the game. Looks like I had been right. 

I was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with a concussion but I would be fine just in time for the finales. The whole time in the waiting room, in the room itself, and even when we got home, Derek had been right beside me, holding my hand.

- 

I had grown to hate hospitals and everything about them since the last time I had been to one I had been stabbed. The gowns with the open backs that were way too open to the public. That smell that was a cross between cleaner and the latex and rubber of gloves. The beds that were as hard as a rock and were covered in paper that would crinkle and make noise even if you weren't moving. That apprehensiveness that would build up in your stomach every time you heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

Thankfully, I didn't have to go through any of that. Since I was a pregnant werewolf, going to the hospital in Beacon Hills was a definite no-no, so the next best option is Dr. Deaton, a veterinarian and a makeshift supernatural doctor. Not to mention a full blown druid in this day and age. But from what I've learned in the past couple years, old magic was very much alive. 

I was sitting on the metal table used for the animals, swinging my legs back and forth, waiting for Deaton to come back from getting my medical records emailed to him by Melissa. He could have gotten them himself, he just figured it would be less illegal if he got them from a nurse. 

Thoughts were racing through my head for no rhyme or reason. Since I became a werewolf, every scar or scratch on my body had become only a memory. My stab wound, the acid burns on my legs, the cuts on my face from being tortured all those months ago which really felt more like a lifetime. It had been a different life, a life fabricated through magic and spells. A life that almost didn't feel like mine anymore.

"Sorry, for the wait, (Y/N)." Deaton walked into the room, his eyes scanning over the stack of papers in his hands.

"You're alright, Doc." I smiled, leaning back on my hands, "So how am I looking?"

“Very pregnant.”

"Nothing gets past you, huh?” I smirked. To be fair, I was approaching the three and a half month mark. Deaton smiled, taking my vitals and a vial of blood. 

“So I’ve been made aware that Mr. Hale is the father.” He said, pressing a cotton ball to my skin after removing the needle, “How's that going?"

“About as well as you can imagine.” 

“So not at all?” He asked. I nodded, shrugging my shoulders. 

"Everything looks normal," He smiled as he wrote everything down on his clipboard, "Just need to get a look at the little guy." He looked up, "You said it was a boy, right?" He asked, moving over to get the sonographer that I’m sure had never been used on a human before.

“Unless the baby’s sprouting a third arm. That'd be cool." I smiled, “But yeah, that’s what the ultrasound tech in Scotland said.”

He chuckled and shook his head, "Alright, lay back and lift your shirt up." I laid back on the table, lifting my shirt up. The jelly he put on my stomach was cold and reminded me of the goo that had encased Jackson when he was a lizard person. He moved the sensor over my stomach and looked into the monitor. Ultrasounds were usually a little hard to see anyway, just like a fancy warschak paintings. And the fetus? Kinda like a funky jellybean.

“There we are.” He grinned, “Little werewolf.”

Craning my neck, I looked up at him, "You can tell he's a werewolf?"

"No.” He took the monitor off, handing me a paper towel so I could wipe off my stomach, “But odds are since his parents are both werewolves, it would make sense that the child would be also. However, you had the dormant gene, maybe your child will too." He turned off the sonographer.

“Have any names picked out?”

"I have a few... I liked Jacob, which Derek hated because it was too ‘Twilight’. Then there's one other but I don't know about it." The name that Derek loved more than anything for some reason, "Nicholas." And damn was it good. 

"What about Nicholas Jacob? Just use both of them." 

"Or I could name him after Stiles" I smirked to myself, "Mieczyslaw Nicholas.”

"Maybe that would be a little too much."

“Stiles is a little too much.” I smiled to myself

-

"So Nicholas?" Sheriff looked at me from across the table, a cup of coffee in his hand. I hummed and nodded, sipping my hot cocoa.

"Nicholas?” He asked again.

"Mieczyslaw?" I raised my eyebrows at him.

He raised his eyebrows, "It was his mother's father's name." 

“I remember Grandpa Mitch, trust me." I smiled, holding my mug in both hands, “I was thinking maybe Nicholas Noah.” I avoided looking in his eyes. Emotional talks were never really his strong suit, especially after Aunt Claudia. I wanted to honor him somehow.

He smiled, blinking a few times, “Sounds pretty good to me.” After a moment he asked: "What are you going to do now?"

I finished my drink and stood up to put it in the sink, "My plan, right now at least, is that I'm going to stay here to have the baby... Then...” I washed out the mug, “Then I'm not sure. I don't know if I want to go back to Scotland or stay here." He stood up as well and pulled me into his arms for a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around him, blinking my own tears away. 

Uncle Noah stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head, "Whatever your decision, I'll be there for you. Whenever you need me. I'll always, always be there for you." 

-

My pajamas had taken a turn for the worst. No more t-shirts and shorts, it’s moo moos and nightgowns from now on. I pulled my night gown over my head, smoothing out the skirt. Did I look like I had raided a grandmother’s closet? Absolutely. I looked down at my stomach, rubbing my hand over my bump.

"Are you a little alien?" I smiled after a moment, listening deeply to his little heartbeat, “Nice.” I glanced over at my desk, then pulled back my blankets to get into bed. I stopped, my head snapping back towards the window where there were red eyes staring back at me. 

 Now, if this was two years ago I would be losing my mind over the fact that there were red eyes staring at me. But since I've gone through emotional Hell, I was feeling rather annoyed by some alpha that just thought they could mosey around my house, around my window, and around my goddamn personal space. I stalked over to the window and slammed it open. 

"Listen, pal, you have about five seconds to get out my yard or I swear by all that is damnable, I will put you through so much pain that your great-grandchildren will be sore."

The eyes came closer, revealing a familiar crooked jaw, "Nice to see you too." 

"You could have just come through the front door, ya know? If Stiles can make a spare key to your house, then he can make you one for his." Scott only looked at me seriously. It was like the kid from three months ago was gone and all there was left was a battle hardened man. 

"Can I please come in?" I stepped away from the window, watching him crawl inside and stand up.

"I've been great, Scott, I've only been in Scotland for months, crying and wondering why none of my friends or family were contacting me. How have you been?" Was it petty? Absolutely, but the hormones were raging. Even if Derek told everyone to stop talking to me, what hold did he have over anyone when Scott was around?

"I'm sorry about that, I really am. But I came to-"

I cut him off, after finally connecting, "Who did you kill?"

“What?”

"To become an alpha, who did you take it from?" 

"I didn't kill anyone!” He said in an exasperated voice, “Why does everyone ask that? Not killing people has been my thing since Peter bit me." He ran his hand through his shorter hair, it suit him.

It then dawned on me. The one thing that had little to no documentation of. Even the Lunar Circle had just the basics. It was the stuff of legend, a hear say. I didn't think it was possible. 

"A true alpha." He stared at me for a second and blinked a couple times.

"You're a true alpha." I grinned, "Oh my god, Scott, this is unbelievable." I grabbed his shoulders and gave them a slight squeeze, "Tell me everything. I wanna know how it happened and what situation you were in. How were you feeling? Were you hurt? Was your body under so much stress that it just happened?”

Scott grabbed my hands and placed them by my sides, "(Y/N), maybe another time I came here for a reason."

"Oh, right, of course." Probably looking ridiculous, “What’s on your mind?”  

"I really don't think it's safe for you here." 

"Here we go agai-" 

"Will you just listen to me before you start whining?" He growled. That certainly shut me up. I raised my eyebrows at him, but I guess I should hear him out. I motioned for him to continue.

"I'm not so much worried about you.” He said, “I know you can take care of yourself. I'm worried about..." He paused, "Uh..." 

“Nicholas.”

"Yeah, I'm worried about Nicholas." He sat in my computer chair and leaned forward, "The pack we're facing don't care who they kill or why, all they want is to hurt us. You're my friend, (Y/N). I don't want anything to happen to you. And I don't want anything to happen to your kid. Please." He rolled forward and took my hands in his, "Please, go back to Scotland. I promise you, you won't be in the dark. You don't deserve to be left out. I'll call myself, and if not me, Stiles will. It's not safe for you.” I looked down, gnawing on my lip. Scott was right, he was completely right. It wasn't safe. I couldn't be a tough alpha when I had so much to live for. Keeping this kid safe is my top priority. As much as I wanted to stay home, it wasn’t safe.

"You'll tell me when it's safe to come back?" 

"You have my word." 

I sighed, looking up at him with a half-smile, "I may be stubborn as hell, but that doesn't mean I can't admit when someone's right. And you're right, Scott. I'll go." 

He closed his eyes, like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He dropped my hands and rolled back, "I'm so glad you agreed with my first speech, if you hadn't I would have been improvising for my life." He chuckled.

Shaking my head, I grinned at him, “It’s good to see you again.” 

“It’s good to see you too.”

- 

"So you're going back?" Uncle Noah looked over his coffee with tired eyes, spying my luggage that had only been unpacked for two days. It was a new day and another plane ride.

"It's not safe for me. It's not safe for any of you." I rested my head on his shoulder, "But I know that will never stop you from helping the ones you care about." 

A small smile pulled at his lips, "You're way too good at reading me." 

"Well, I've only known you my whole life." 

He set down his coffee and hugged me tight, like this was the last time he would see me. I know he was worried about me and Stiles, it was in his nature. This was the best option for me. As much as I wanted to stay and fight. I couldn't fight if my child was kidnapped and hell knows what would happen to him. 

Giving him one last squeeze, I pulled away, the honking outside meant that Stiles had pulled in and was ready to drop me off at the airport. 

"I'll call you when I land. Or text you. Depends on the time." I kissed his cheek, "Bye Uncle Noah." 

“Goodbye, sweetheart. Stay safe." I kissed his cheek. My head held high, I grabbed my bag and my rolling luggage and went out the door. Stiles grabbed my bags, opening the back of Roscoe to throw my luggage in. That was until a familiar black Camero pulled into the driveway, blocking Stiles in. 

"God. Dammit." I muttered to myself. My life was just going swell, wasn't it? I looked down at my stomach and sighed. I felt the burn of acid reflux in my throat, my child showing obvious discomfort as well. Me too, little man. Me too. 

There was no way around it, I couldn’t leave without talking with him. Not that I should have to begin with. I sucked. 

Derek got out of the car, coming around quickly and standing in front of me. 

“Derek, I don’t think you should be here.” Stiles stepped forward. Very sweet, but realistically Stiles wouldn’t be able to do a damn thing against Derek. They stared each other down, the air just filled with masculinity.

“Stiles...” I said, grabbing my bags, “If he wants to take me to the airport, let him.” 

Stiles eyes widened, “You’re really giving him the time of day? Really?” 

Sighing, I pulled Stiles into my arms and hugged him tightly. He hesitated, but hugged me back. 

“I know that this seems like a bad idea, and most of my ideas are bad, but I got this. Trust me.” I smiled and kissed his cheek, “I love you.” He pulled away, looking between Derek and I. 

“I love you too. Scott and I will let you know when it’s safe to come back.”

“You better.” I turned back to Derek, trying to keep up the attitude I had to keep Stiles at ease. I held out my bags. He took them without a word and we both started the trip to the airport. It was hard to get a read on him at the moment. He emotions were dull, nothing that stood out. He still looked as tense as ever. His brows were knitted together and his piercing green eyes looked hard. 

“So...” He said after a while, “What are you going to do about...” He trailed off. 

“Him?” I looked down at my stomach, “I’m just preparing and getting ready for him. I picked a name too. Nicholas.” 

A small smile pulled at his lips, but he hid it, “Hmm.” 

“Derek....” Now or never, “I just need to know why?” 

He inhaled deeply, “I wish I could tell you. I don’t even remember it happening. Like I was under a spell and I couldn’t break out of it.” So he had experienced what I had when I was under Matt’s control. In this situation, in Beacon Hills, there was no reason not to believe him. His heart told me it was true. 

“I’m sorry that I hit you.” 

“I don’t blame you.” He glanced over at me, “If I felt the same thing you did, I would probably lose control too.” 

“I’m tired of people taking advantage of you. If I see that bitch-” I hadn’t realized that my eyes had turned red. 

“(Y/N)...” He reached over his right hand, placing it on my knee, “Calm down.” I took a deep breath and leaned back against the seat, closing my eyes. Just the simplest touch could calm me down and it was something that I missed. 

“Nicholas, huh? I like it.”

Happiness welled up in my chest, “I sure hope so since you picked it.” 

“I didn’t think you liked it.” 

I sat back up and opened my eyes, “What are you talking about? I’ve always liked that name.”

“Riiiiight.” 

By the time the conversation ended, we were at the airport. I reached for the handle to open the door when he reached over to stop me. 

“I let you leave alone last time, I’m walking you in."

We got inside and checked in, the only thing left was for me to board. Maybe it was a good thing that he didn't take me to the airport last time, because now that he was here, I didn't want to leave him.

"How selfish would it be for me to ask you to drop your life here and come with me?" I leaned on his arm.

"Very. Trust me, the thought crossed my mind. I'm needed here. I have to be here for Cora."

I smiled slightly, "We're gonna get through this. Soon we'll be together again and we can have that big happy family that you deserve. That we deserve."

Derek sighed, resting his head on top of mine, "Is it cliche to hope that this all ends tomorrow?" 

My smile faltered, "Don't believe in miracles, Derek."

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