#that others dont understand and deal with weird looks and commentary. and then give me weird looks and commentary

[be-good-to-bugs]

would love if people would be normal about tourettes

[daaziscoolbesties]

[REPOST] MY 2K WORD COMMENTARY/ANALYSIS OF RANBOO’S LORE STREAM

‼️‼️This post contains lore spoilers from Ranboo’s 4/23 stream, “The Enderwalk Saga. Chapter 1: The Lessons”. If you haven’t seen that stream don’t read ahead unless you want spoilers‼️‼️

disclaimer: this isnt really an analysis as much as a bunch of commentary and half-baked theories.

-on the way to the mansion he was sort of talking to himself saying stuff like "i'm good i'm good" which m a y be a normal thing but also maybe it's not and it flew over our heads cause he talks to chats and donos like that so often

-again, this one may just be a normal thing but when he was climbing up the stairs in the mansion looking for foolish, he repeats some of his words like down to the exact same tone of voice and everything. 12:42,  "this mansion is way too big actually. this mansion is way too big actually." (why the repeated actually? seems odd to me but again it might just be a normal thing that i haven't picked up on). (right after) "okay okay lemme find him lemme find him" again repeated words in the e x a c t same tone.

-does everyone know about ranboo's silk touch hands ability thing? or was that just a techno and ranboo main character moment. bc if it was, how would foolish know that ranboo could pick up the full cake after it'd been partially eaten. unless everyone on the sever knows about that in which case this means nothing. but if they d o n t know... how would foolish know? ranboo wrote about it in the do not read book so maybe if it's not a publicly known thing maybe foolish got his hands on the book and read it??

-14:53-ish, they're talking about the war room and how it was for tubbo or whatever and ranboo says, and i quote "he prepares for lore but he's never gonna do it." now funny thing is at first i couldn't tell if he said "war" like in reference to the war room or "lore". but after playing the clip over and over i can say with ALMOST 100% certainty that he said lore. there is a definite L sound at the beginning of the word. which either means a) this was a slip up (doubtful bc he said later that there were no mistakes), b) he broke the fourth wall because they were supposed to be rping at that point, or c) i'm completely wrong and he said "war" which leads down an entire other road of possibilities

-15:17 "are you a book reader?" "*checks inventory for do not read book* uh yeah i'd say i'm a book reader-" dunno how i didn't catch this the first time I HATE THAT DAMN BOOK

-15:18 there's blue in his hotbar. where did he get the blue.

-16:40 "it's like a metaphor- i have two minds: i have my normal self, my normal little shift-dancing self, and then the builder one. the builder one is demanding. it's a very demanding mind." ranboo then lets out a weird sigh after this. i feel like what foolish was talking about was an indirect(?) parallel to ranboo in and out of enderwalk, there's how he normally is, trying to do best for others, and then there's enderwalk, meeting up with bad guys and "demanding" things (its very late as i write this i really don't know what i'm talking about)

-17:11 "you have your panic closet" i'm sorry his what now 😀 no but seriously how the hell did i miss some of these

-18:04 "you're asking me if i remember?" very funny ranboo thank you for making jokes in these trying times

-18:25 WHY DID HE GET OUT THE AXE WHEN STARING AT THE BEE

-19:38 why did foolish hold the grass block- most of these observations probably mean nothing but- h u h - is that- i'm too tired for this

-19:54 "i never properly thanked you for the deal you made with me" so foolish got something out of this deal, we're not sure if ranboo did. "the green cardboard box" again do you mean dream's house- but seriously the only people i can think of on the server that are associated with green are dream and sam. and i have no idea what cardboard box could be referring to.  foolish got a lime colored shulker from drista

-20:30 "we're supposed to only talk about it at a certain location" hmm now where would that be? panic room maybe? cause like usually after doing a big thing in the enderwalk state ranboo wakes up in the panic room so maybe?  the deal was that they only talk about it in his house

-21:52 how does ranboo receive(?) the lessons? like are they whispered to him in his mind or is he seeing them as words in front of him like we see? hmm

-"Lesson 14: If you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it." "gain a favor" don't you usually ask people for favors though? how does one "gain a favor"? anyways i'm pretty sure lesson 14 has to do with the deal foolish was talking about. (the deal explained because i now have info: at some point a bit ago foolish met up with ranboo and asked to make a deal, he'd gotten a shulker box from drista. the deal was that ranboo would have ownership of the box, it would be under his name but foolish rents/borrows it indefinitely. ranboo negotiated that if he took ownership of the box he would get a "war favor"  from foolish where if something happens that creates sides, ranboo can ask him a favor that could change his side. but why would foolish want ranboo to have ownership of the shulker you may ask? well i have an answer for you. a theory actually but still. basically since drista technically isn't supposed to give out shit on the server if someone where to have that stuff then they may get in trouble. foolish wants to be able to use the shulker but if it gets found he doesn't want to get in trouble, so he can blame it on ranboo seeing as it's under his name.)

-22:16-ish "i still have this from when you *can't understand whats said here*" well i guess that sort of explains why he had the grass block? idk man (info update: he had the grass block from when ranboo threw it at him telling him to calm down like what ghostbur does with blue)

-31:35 "i figured out how to cause it" how to cause the enderwalk state

-38:30 "ninety three lessons" I STILL DONT KNOW WHY HE KEPT SAYING NINETY THREE AND NOT NINETY FOUR AND ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY LMAO

-39:01 "it's all for the greater good" okay well when are you gonna start thinking about yourself and not everyone else for once huh. self care bitch.

-40:31 he started holding the axe when he was looking at sam- gonna say it i really don't like that axe ahahah- WAIT A DAMN MINUTE THE AXE IS NAMED "axe of ender" I DONT LIKE THAT I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL

-41:53 is there something?? physically keeping him from telling sam??? or maybe it's sort of like his enderwalk state taking control to make him shut the fuck up??? so many questions and approximately zero answers

-43:18 ranboo raising his voice legitimately scares me 😀👍

-"Lesson 27: Do not reminisce on what you have lost for it will weigh you down." showed up when he was thinking about and REMINISCING about the community house 👀👀

-"Lesson 53: Never fully trust anyone." showed up literally after he said that he thinks he can trust the other people on the server enough to tell them about what he did

-"Lesson 67: Leave no evidence of what you have helped with." this is different from the others because there doesn't seem to be at least a semi-direct connection to it? unless maybe at the time ranboo was near something he may have "helped with"? not sure about this one

-"Lesson 94: DO NOT LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE" yeah yeah i get it i get it he's fucked up some shit in enderwalk i don't feel like analyzing this thanks

-OH OH NOTICE HOW HE SAYS "REMEMBERING" WHEN THE LESSONS SHOW UP. IMPLYING THAT THIS ISNT A NEW THING, ITS HAPPENED BEFORE AND NOW HES REMEMBERING IT. MAYBE HE WROTE DOWN THE LESSONS WHEN HE WAS IN ENDERWALK AND NOW THAT HES BEEN EXPERIMENTING ITS BEEN EASIER FOR HIM TO REMEMBER THOSE ENDERWALK MEMORIES

-okokok the experiments are that he's been e x p e r i m e n t i n g on how to purposefully induce the enderwalk state. and we know now that it wasn't from the pain of the water because on the stream afterwords he said that it's caused by the intense fear of something happening. and so the "side effects" of the experiments is that since he's in enderwalk more often(?) he starts remembering more things from it

-OH MY GOD WAIT "there is a reason sam, there's so many reasons, theres ninety three of them" (44:47) WHAT IF EVERY LESSON IS TIED TO A QUOTE UNQUOTE "reason" THAT RANBOO THINKS HES A BAD PERSON/NEEDS TO BE LOCKED UP BUT HE SAYS NINETY THREE INSTEAD OF NINETY FOUR BECAUSE THE NINETY FOURTH LESSON DOESNT HAVE A REASON YET/HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT HAVING A REASON

-dude honestly the whole sam part hurts so much this man is scarily good at acting

-46:46 "i cant put you in the prison you wouldn't be able to see michael anymore" bestie that's the point he doesn't want to accidentally hurt michael or tubbo in the enderwalk state—

-okay but there's no way that sam couldn't tell that ranboo was at least TRYING to confess to something- i feel like he definitely knows more than he's letting on because usually like when people do bad shit or admit to doing bad shit he's like in Prison Guard Mode™️ (he literally cut off ponk's arm because he stole some keycards or something) and whatever and idk what he knows but he definitely knows something and is trying to protect ranboo. or he's trying to manipulate him or smth either one works—

-50:38 "you are a good person" "i am?" you can hear my heart shatter. "yes you are" "i don't think so sam" "i do, even if you don't" "i really don't think so" and there it goes again

-51:25 hello badboyhalo i see you to the left of ranboo

-52:44 "but then my curiosity got the best of me" curiosity killed the cat, bitch

-52:54 "there's ninety three, ninety four, ninety- theres so many reasons!" SEE!! NOT ONLY ARE THERE THAT MANY LESSONS THERE ARE REASONS THAT CORRESPOND IM S O SMART—

-52:56 "i don't want to remember anymore!" *quietly brings forth my theory that when ranboo loses a canon life his memory gets wiped*

-53:13 "ive opened pandora's box" isn't the prison?? literally called pandora's VAULT??? so this m a y be a stretch but i'm thinking that maybe this could be taken in the literal sense that he "opened" the prison and let dream out (the sirens at the end of quackity's stream confirm that dream is indeed out)

-53:42 mans just straight up walked through a ghost i—

-55:37 so are we just gonna ignore the eleventh page of the book? "he's alive, but hopefully soon dream won't be"??? alright nevermind it's most likely bc when tommy came back he recruited ranboo in his plan to kill dream

-55:47 notice how he writes "what am i?" as opposed to "who am i?" no elaboration here idk what it could be

-56:08 just so it's clear for anyone who doesn't know- he's wearing armor at this point, and i'm like 90% sure that when he wears his armor water can't hurt him. and i saw someone say somewhere that like with splash potions when thrown it turns into a gas-like thing? so again, it didn't hurt him, he didn't get hurt. he said in the chill stream that he wasn't comfortable making it where his character had to hurt himself to do that. the thing that causes the enderwalk isn't pain, it's intense and sudden emotions like fear and stress. thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

You never thought you would become popular on school only because you had started to date someone.

Well, it had their reasons. Your current and recent boyfriend was not like anybody else on your school. No. He was Chisaki Kai. The boy who had beaten the crap out of I numerous classmates more than once and also was the supposed son of the headmaster of one of the yakusas on Japan.

People often would look with pity or worry at you every since you even dared to talk with the boy and his white haired friend. Now you swore that humors of you dating Kai were spreading even to teachers...

And Mr. Tomozaki even asked if you were dating Kai because you wanted or because you or your family were threatened by the yakusa.

You almost, almost, answered your teacher back with a not so nice and polite commentary, but the class had just started so you could only huff and take your seat to watch another boring class of Mr. Tomozaki.

And God protected the poor souls that whispered rumors about you when Kai was nearby...

Dating him wasn't horrible by any means! He was even the one that suggested on the first place! The only down that you had was... well, you two weren't on the stage of kissing yet... and you really wanted to. But you also knew how Ka was about touching and all of that... it took begging at least to hold his hand once, imagine kissing.

So you kept that for yourself for a bit.

Yet Kai noticed how you often watched couples on street whenever he would walk along with you. Often sending you judgmental looks whenever you would dreamily sigh when you saw some "romantic scene" or read something similiar about it.

Kissing was disgusting. Why on hell would you want that? There are some people that even change and swallow others saliva along with it! It's so gross on even commenting it!

Although. One class made him think about too much on this specific issue... Literature, and the main book, the certain of the discussion, was Romeo and Juliet... a pain in the ass for him.

But the way your smile would appear whenever one of those scenes was commented was just so... enchanting. The way your plump and sorta pink lips quivered up a bit. And not even commenting when you had caught him staring once or twice.

After weeks of thinking he had sighed out loud on his room, and started to take some courage to spill his plans to you....

Thhe way your jaw had almost fell to the ground was rather intriguing to him to be honest.

"K-K-Kiss?!"

"Don't shout." He said nonchantly before sighing while crossing his arms "Tommorow we can try it since you want this so badly."

"... you sure?" Your eyes shined with the Ray's of the sun as he rolled hsi eyes with a scoff to hide his embarrassment.

"If I wasn't I wouldn't be speaking. Only tommorow. No more."

You smiled, in hopes of what he said for last wasn't going to be true... you hoped.

You really could only hope. At least you had time to prepare yourself and to not make the situation...unconfortable for Kai. And for yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Why was he nervous on the first place? Is just a touch of lips. No big deal. Is just a prove of love for possibly the only person he ever sees to be with it. Nothing to be nervous about.

He wasn't nervous.

.... god what if he break down on hives and you found it weird?

"Kai!!!!" He winced a bit at hearing your voice coming right behind him as he shifted his bag on his shoulder a bit.

"Late. Again." He sighed while looking at you, thankfully regaining his compusture.

"Sorry! I had to-"

"Let's just go." He walked a bit and you had to quick your pace to catch up with him "I'm sick of this place."

"When you aren't?" You giggled while he rolled his eyes, the sunset giving a contrast to the color of the sky as the both of you talked and walked for a bit.

"So did Kurono get better from the flu?"

"Dont even remind me of that, is disgusting." He winced at only hearing about it, before arching one eyebrow at you "Why the sudden worry though?"

"Just asking, what?" You put your hands behind your back and tilted your head at him "Jealous?"

"You wish." He rolled his eyes but tightened his grip on his back at only the mere thought.

Your giggles echoed for a bit before he stopped at the usual place where you both had to take your paths to your specific homes. The nervousness of before had come back at remembering his promise to you.

You shyly looked at him and chuckle out of nervousness as he rubbed the back of his neck a bit.

"So..."

"Hm." He said back while lowering his hand down and breathed in to look into your eyes again.

Just when he had take the guts to make the first move, both of you two had bumped heads hard.... aparently you were too excited.

"Oh gosh. Kai I'm so so sorry!" You were rambling a huge amount of apologies as you had one hand rubbing the sore spot on your forehead as Kai rubbed his own.

"Is nothing." He said nonchantly but what catch you off guard was how soft his eyes were and a half smirk was on his lips as he looked back at you.

You averted your eyes away a bit, still mumbling some apologies before he grabbed on your shoulder with a 'stop'.

Your eyes widened at how close he was and his own widen right after when he not only noticed by the proximity, but also that he had touched you without a problem on the first place.

You bit on your bottom lip and he swallowed the air stuck on his throat... You breathed in and our before in one movement touching your lips along with his... Finally.

He swore he almost fainted. That made his whole body heat up, and also feel like bolts of electricity had circled through his system as his eyes were wide open and hands awkwardly on the air... until he felt a certain... calm, happy sensation as his eyes were closing little by little.

His hands subconsciously lowered down to your waist and pushed you against him to feel more of that new sensation.

You two ended up breaking apart only because of the stupid need of air.

"I-I... I-" you spluttered, before you gulped when he hushed you.

"Again." He said nonchantly, and even before you could understand he had kissed you back... much to your shock and pleasure.

Your arms went up to hug him by the neck and your backpack had accidentally fell to the ground... neither of you could care at that moment.

God only knows how much the time had passed with you two on that. But it just was so good, that you couldn't help but want more and more.

You broke away due to your cellphone ringing, probably your parents worried about you.

"I... have to go." You said, arms hesitantly getting out of his neck as his own slowly unhanded your waist.

"Surely.." he said almost in dissapointment as you lowered down to pick your backpack.

"So... tommorow?" You smiled sheepishly at him and he scoffed.

"As always... See you tommorow."

"See ya..." you both turned but soon come back and, sadly, bumped heads again. Making you giggle and him to grunt with a smirk. "R-Right... bye."

You pecked his lips, smiling at the blush it had formed as his eyes turned wide open again and you left running to your own home.

He stared at you a bit before letting a rather dreamy sigh while touching his finger tips his lips.

Well, a rather good experience.

Bonus!

"Care to explain why you're so la-What the hell is taht on your forehead kid?!" The elder almost shouted at seing the red mark on is sucessor forehead.

The boy only looked up at him, still stuck on the heat of the moment as he adjusted his bag and smiled at the memory of his first kiss.

"Nothing. I just bumped it."

The elder arched a eyebrow at Chisaki, observing how his eyes were too much calm and the small SMILE he carried while making his way to his bedroom.

.... he had to know what happened.

[wagooglet]

TEENSY LITTLE. fmab spoiler commentary it’s literally nbd but i’m just. Thinking abt it u know! feel free to engage me i’d love if someone did!

okay i wrote that before i started writing this post and its like, Really goddamn long, BUT FEEL PLEASE TALK TO ME INM DESPERIT only one of my friends knows this show but ii feel, like a bastard. THAT BEING SAID FMAB spoiler territory Ba-babey

right. you’re in spoiler town now.

i kind of wish they’d like, done something with roy mustang’s blindness. like, i get it, he’s a main character and you don’t want to pull that last minute gut punch and all the other characters get a nice ending so why wouldn’t he? but hear me out-- his blindness doesn’t have to be a bad ending for him, you know?

it would’ve been like. we got to see roy, hero of the ishvalan civil war, having to come to terms with the fact that he can no longer count on his alchemy and his sharp eyesight. and maybe he finds some way to maneuver his flame alchemy-- sure, it likely isn’t as great as it was when he has his eyesight, but he finds a way to make it work. now, this is probably to happen off screen-- much in the way that ed’s coping without alchemy is implied and understood without seeing every scene of him trying to use alchemy but not being able. to. he’s finding ways to live without just. alchemizing his problems away-- but it’s a nice way to show the ingenuity of his character! the last episode, maybe, where we see how all the characters are doing before we never see them again, what their futures look like (or how they end), it would’ve been nice if we see how roy is functioning without his sight. we see the ways he’s learned to deal with it.

maybe he’s not super optimistic about it, but he’s carrying on his shoulders the aspirations to keep moving forward. that’s kind of how characters Work, if you know what i mean? and people? also the narrative that FMAB sort of pushed about humanity-- people keep getting up, they find a way to keep moving forward. roy can keep looking to the future, even if he can’t See it. you know what i mean? to reiterate because it probably got lost in the wall of text above-- maybe he’s found some way to use his fire alchemy. maybe he’s using some other alchemy. maybe he’s not using alchemy. maybe he’s found a way by himself, or riza or any of his friends are helping him. he’s blind, but he’s not vulnerable-- he is human, but he’s not weak. 

it’s kind of a nice synthesis, in my opinion, but i’d love to hear someone else’s thoughts bc i tend to overthink these sorts of things lel oh el

next thing! YES IM STILL DOING THIS I’M SORRY!

i just wanted to muse a little bit about romance and how it’s handled in fmab u know! in no callout kind of way bc i really dont give a shit but its almost like. Weird and surprising to me and there may just be something that went over my head but like,

winry and ed. they end up together. that’s what i’m assuming, anyway-- i couldn’t stomach the kind of tacky nature of heterosexual romance in anime (looks at castlevania and frowns a deep longing frown) so i sort of.. yknow.. skipped those last scenes with them, but it’s what i figure happened. and it’s sort of weird to me, you know? their romantic chemistry, if there is any of it, just.. Isn’t There, to me. they’re too much like brother and sister, at each other’s throats but in a sort of loving sibling kind of way? (i have a sibling so it just hit all those notes really hard) and it’s so strange to me that they ended up being together. to the point where like, i entirely thought winry was joking when she’d mused to herself in some earlier episode that she “couldn’t believe this was the boy she fell for”

LIKE. THIS IS MY OPINION feel free to combat me here but it’s handled so much differently than the dynamic between riza and roy. i Know. they are not canon. i understand. i got it. but as a watcher, i felt much more of a tender romantic undertone to their relationships? they’re close, they care for each other, their relationship seems to have more of a romantic tone to it than edward and winry’s does. they are different around each other than they are around others, softer, maybe, and it’s kind of weird to me, in that way, the contrasting tones in their relationships, because i get those romantic undertones that i can actually understand feel for because it’s not being shoved in my face, and it’s a pairing i can actually Enjoy, you know? but winry and ed are just the same old same old-- they are the generic end game pairing. 0__o

finallie. one last thing unless i decide to RB This again with another comment. can Alphonse! still use his alchemy? i assume so. i wonder how ed thinks about that, it would’ve been dope to see.

to end this i am also SO mad they missed the opportunity to end the show/an ep/have a scene with like. edwards sleeping and alphonse finally gets to go to bed and not spend the night alone to himself because they played that whole narrative that al was happy in his armor body but he couldn’t stand the nights alone and that was his driving motiivation in getting his body back and like!!!!!! YOU DIDN’T GIVE US THIS TASTY CONTENT AND I’M SO SAD ABOUT IT!! THAT WOULD’VE BEEN THE PERFECT CHERY ON TOP and i got it you gotta show where they’re going after this. hobbit style. but you couldve sacrificed the ed/wiin thing for that in my very very humble opinion. 

THATSE IT

[la-knight]

BOOKS I (RE)READ IN 2018: FURTHERMORE BY TAHEREH MAFI

"Alice Alexis Queensmeadow, 12, rates three things most important: Mother, who wouldn’t miss her; magic and color, which seem to elude her; and Father, who always loved her. Father disappeared from Ferenwood with only a ruler, almost three years ago. But she will have to travel through the mythical, dangerous land of Furthermore, where down can be up, paper is alive, and left can be both right and very, very wrong. Her only companion is Oliver whose own magic is based in lies and deceit. Alice must first find herself—and hold fast to the magic of love in the face of loss." "Red was ruby, green was fluorescent, yellow was simply incandescent. Color was life. Color was everything. Color, you see, was the universal sign of magic." "Love, it turned out, could both hurt and heal." "Narrow-mindedness will only get you as far as Nowhere, and once you're there, you're lost forever.” "Alice was an odd girl, even for Ferenwood, where the sun occasionally rained and the colors were brighter than usual and magic was as common as a frowning parent." "Making magic is far more interesting than making sense." So I actually read this book a few months ago and then recently reread it via audio so I could remember all the details for this review. I was first introduced to Tahereh Mafi’s work through her book Shatter Me, her debut novel. Ironically, it wasn’t through any of the ways I normally hear about books - Booktube, Goodreads, my best friend, Booklr - but from my husband’s aunt. She runs - or used to run, not sure if she’s still doing it - a book review blog. And she posted a review of Shatter Me and I was like, “What a weird, interesting writing style, lemme check this out.” At this point the entire Shatter Me Trilogy plus novellas had been published and I devoured all of them (still need to review those, too). So when I heard Tahereh Mafi was writing a middle grade book, I got super excited! Especially because this was during a time when I was too stressed out to read any YA, since most of the YA I like involves having to save the world and all the stress that entails. I need to lay out some trigger warnings real quick: the main character, Alice? Her mom is incredibly abusive, both emotionally and physically. It’s treated as not such a big deal in the book, which is honestly the story’s only real flaw, but it’s bad. It took me seven tries and resorting to an audiobook (and even with a fantastic narrator, that short audiobook took me almost a month to get through) because the abuse was so bad. So:

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE OF A CHILD BY THEIR PARENT

Let’s get started, yo! First of all, the setting. OMG. See, I love tthis thing called Victorian fairy tales, which is something you can find in books like Mary Poppins - these super fantastical bits of whimsy that just warm your heart and make you grin because they’re so creative and fun. In the Mary Poppins books, you can jump into chalk drawings and go to a circus amidst the stars and make friends with a woman who sells living candy-cane horses. In Catherynne Valente’s Fairyland series, there are shadow balls and talking phonographs. And in Furthermore, there’s light raining down from the sky in literal drops, sticks of magic you use like money, and forests full of invisible berries. The way the world is put together and described, so full of color and imagination, is awesome and beautiful and I could picture it perfectly. It reminded me in all the best ways of books like The Phantom Tollbooth (one of my favorites). But I wouldn’t want to live there, because Ferenwood is full of colorism and ick. Alice, the female lead, is an albino in a world where color is important and the darker you are, the more magical you’re considered to be. So Alice gets treated like garbage. 

Also I think Alice may be autistic, but I don’t know if she’s deliberately coded autistic or if Tahereh Mafi did it by accident while trying to make Alice eccentric, but she comes across as autistic. I’ve actually begun to pay more attention to that sort of the thing in recent years, being autistic myself, and I see it a lot - authors giving their characters autistic characteristics, often without meaning to. I just touch on it here because Alice is already treated badly for being albino, but she’s also considered a freak because of the way she behaves - like an autistic preteen. And I wonder if Tahereh Mafi did that on purpose as a sort of commentary or not, because while Alice is treated badly by the people of Ferenwood for her behavior, the Narrator (who is an actual character in the story; love when that happens) always sides with Alice in this regard. The storyline is sweet and I love it. Alice tries to compete in the magical testing all the preteens do on their twelfth birthday, and so she dances. And her dancing is magical but it���s not Magical, you know? So she fails the test. Well, turns out a boy who passed the test the year before, Oliver (the brat), needs Alice’s help fulfilling a quest - rescuing Alice’s missing dad. So they go on a quest together, although Alice hates Oliver (and rightly so, he’s rude). They go to a dozen different and cool places, all of which are dangerous and all of which are different. I wish we could’ve spent more time in those places but I understand why we didn’t. The only annoying thing is there’s an origami fox on the cover but it only pops up in one of the worlds for like two pages and then it’s gone and I thought we could spend more time both in that world and with that creature since it ended up on the cover. But alas, not. I understand why - middle grade is often cursed to be short, especially if it’s the author’s first MG novel ever. Once you get big and bad like Rick Riordan you can start tossing out gihugic tomes like Son of Neptune or Blood of Olympus on the regular. Oliver’s reason for needing Alice was one I didn’t see coming, nor was her magical talent - a talent they hint at throughout the book but never explain until near the end, at the perfect moment. I thought it was an interesting commentary on how young girls perceive themselves, that Alice hates this marvelous, amazing talent she has of bringing color into the world from nothing...because she can’t use it to change how she looks. Society has trained her already, by the age of twelve, to discount something incredible about herself because she can’t use it to make herself into what society wants her to be. That’s pretty impressive for a book this short. I loved some of the more deliberate messages in the work - the thing I mentioned about society’s pressures on young girls, and also that it’s okay to tell boys to screw off if they’re mean to you, and to have hope and to look for second chances (Alice thinks she only has one chance to pass the test and believes her life is over when she fails, only to find out she can try again the next year). I love all of that, and the lyrical and whimsical quality of the prose, and the world building is so creative and also makes me a bit hungry (people eat magic in this book, among other things; I wonder what it tastes like). Now...let’s talk about the abuse. That’s my biggest issue with the book. Alice’s mother is a total bitch. And not in a cool, kickass way like the lady in the show Empire. She’s vicious, she’s cruel, and she’s abusive. Alice knows - and the Narrator confirms - that she turned bad when her husband went missing, and apparently the worry for him and the strain of raising four kids on her own is making her hard and sad, but I don’t give a shit. I was hoping Tahereh Mafi would’ve gone all Hansel and Gretel on this lady and when Alice comes home with her dad, the wife’s dead or something. She beats Alice (at one point she beat Alice for chasing a boy out of the place where she was sleeping, even though he kept staring at her in her sleeping clothes, because apparently the boy - Oliver - had the right to break into their barn at 3AM and ogle Alice???), she verbally abuses Alice, she sends her to bed regularly without dinner, is constantly criticizing, won’t hug her or kiss her, and - this one really got me, for some reason - forces her to do illegal things. Those invisible berries I mentioned? Alice can find them and bring back whole baskets because of her magical gift, and so her mom sends her out to pick them all the time. If she brings home enough, her mom smiles. If she doesn’t, her mom yells and calls her names and sometimes beats her. Guess what? Picking those berries is illegal. We don’t find this out until much later in the book, but it is. The thing I didn’t like about the berries is that Oliver, who’s thirteen, is less concerned about Alice’s mother beating her for not picking enough contraband berries and instead focuses on how her ability to find the berries in the first place means Alice has really impressive magic. NOBODY seems to care how much Alice is being abused, not even the Narrator. The Narrator sympathizes with Alice’s hurt feelings and despair over her missing Father, but it’s never objectively stated that her mom is abusing her AND SHE IS. Yeah, her mom is sooo glad to have her back after Alice almost dies on her trip with Oliver, but so what? My roommate’s mom is so abusive that my roommate’s clergy leaders, doctors, and psychological therapist all said my roommate needed to cut ties with said mom, even though my roommate’s mom has also exhibited the same kind of “oh baby I’m so sorry, I love you so much” bullshit. That’s what abusers do. So I hate Alice’s mom. She literally makes her daughter feel like if she doesn’t risk her life numerous times AND bring her father back, there is no chance her mother will ever love her. And if she pulls that stuff off (which she does), then MAYBE her mother will love her. Nuh-uh. Nope. Hate that bitch. Other than that, I really loved this book. The characters felt real (Alice is me, but without my anger), Even the ones I didn’t like were still REAL, and well-drawn. The world building and word choice is fantastic. Basically, if you can get past the evil mom, read this book. World Building: 1 star Realism: 1 star Word Choice: 1 star Plot: 1 star Characterization: 1 star - ¼ star because Oliver Newbanks is an obnoxious little creep - 1 star because the mom is AN ABUSIVE EVIL BITCH - ¼ star because NOBODY DOES ANYTHING ABOUT THAT +½ star because Alice is amazing and has a genius brain and I love her Total score: 4/5 stars Would I Buy It: Yes! I own it and loved it enough I got the sequel for Christmas (in...2017...I've been sitting on this review for months...)! Would I Recommend: yes, but with trigger warnings. Again, highly abusive evil bitch mom who somehow doesn’t die.

[askthetriokzt]

20??

 20. Wildcard. Talk about anything

// Oh boy, anything? Lets shine some light on Criticism shall well? A key thing I learned when it comes to creating and critiquing. But before I talk about criticism, I would like to talk about a universal currency.

 Believe it or not, but all humankind share one kind of commodity, regardless of social status, nationality, race, gender, sexual orientation, or any other sort of categorization.

That commodity is time. We can give our time, invest our time, waste our time, miss our time, lose time, have it stolen, and we can value our time… the only thing we cant do, is have more time. We claim to buy time, but thats really just an exchange of our own time to delay events. Though we dont know how deep our own accounts go, we cant create more of this finite resource.

So when you invest time in watching a movie or reading a book, or any other exchange that didn’t seem worth the trade, its natural to be angry. This was your time and it has value. Simultaneously, the creator of that book or movie, or art piece, or characters, ect can invest a great deal of their own time in that works creation. Its incredibly frustrating to feel that people arent recognizing that effort. Which is where the tension between critics and creatives often arises.

The wrong word from a certain critic can undermine a lot of creative investment. Yet many a critic will defend their role as pushing back against any trivialization of an art form. In a weird way, both sides believe themselves to be creativity’s true champion. And in my eyes, the best critics convey this love for the medium

Somewhere along the way, critics became celebrities in their own right. An idea started to creep in, ‘To stand out and to be noticed, many critics rely on the idea that negativity is honesty.’.

We’ve all been seduced by this at some point. Many many reviewers have gained an audience and kept it by tearing works apart. The online world in particular flocks to this. We see negativity as a voice, shouting down the groupthink. Its a statement that “We are not going to be cowed by the fandom’s whims and so they got to deal with it!”

And it works. Even if people to agree to the negativity, they respond to it. The comment in defense of their favorite characters and episodes, they denounce the critic, and for some its enough to have that response and recognition. As the saying goes, “There’s no such thing as negative publicity.”.

But given enough time, does the same tactic work? If a critic is consistently negative, regardless of context, I think people begin to see the figure behind the curtain. At most, negativity can become a gimmick, while often its a method towards false confidence. That said, is positivity instant honesty?

 Not really. Unwillingness to criticize indicates that someone is starting with the assumption that the work is good and is going backward. There’s a sense that being a fan is taking priority over being honest. So where does the balance lie?

Personally, I dont think it has to do with a quota of positive vs negative comments or reviews. The real challenge is to show love for the art and the expression. If a piece doesn't work, if it fails to register, whats the counterbalance? Can you highlight a work that did the same attempt and succeeded? That’s offering genuine criticism. Because not only are you stating that something didn’t work, but you’re also helping people understand by providing a positive point of reference.

And by criticising what didn’t work, how much authority can a critic assume? Often times, a negative ‘critic’ will go after the artist more than the artwork. Telling them to keep their hobbies at home or to no inflict their failure on the community. In essence, they’re telling others to stop trying.

If there’s ever a warning light to tune someone out, its when they discourage future attempts. How does the ability to criticize translate into the authority to dictate terms? Attempting to sabotage a person’s efforts is suffocating. You’re drawing a line in the sand with no room for discussion or growth.

I get the sense that this wouldn’t really matter to someone who thrives off of that negativity, people who create cringe blogs, or people who just attack the artist because this isn't about dialogue or insight, its about them. By putting down someone else's work, they present the illusion of intelligence and insight without risk. 

“In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read.” - Anton Ego from Ratatouille

This leaves a question if time is currency, how much time should we invest in those who do not create? Being an accomplished artist isn’t a prerequisite for giving feedback. Its the old train of thought, “I dont have to be a chef to recognize a bad meal.”. But how much can this feedback benefit the process? Often times, we can find ourselves under a barrage of words that have an emotional impact but offer very little insight. Even the phrases that can sound positive, often times dont express why they like the piece.

The fact is, not all criticism is created equal. People who have never taken the risk, often lack the perspective to offer insight, so their feedback is often focused on their own entertainment. Yet audiences are vast and can have a diverse set of opinions, often contradictory, so it becomes a judgment call. Who offers the best and most insightful criticism, and who is just making demands?

The thing that kills me is that if I could challenge these so-called ‘critics’, I’m sure their response would be, “I’m just stating my opinion. Its not my fault if others are offended.”. I’ve seen this defense or excuse thrown up so many times, its become borderline comical. This avoidance of responsibility or any acknowledgment that the message didn’t reach the audience. What this message really means is a double standard. The person is saying, “I am not going to invest the time or energy to better craft a message that will reach my audience, yet I expect you to invest the time and energy to pay attention.”

The end result is that the only people who agree, are those who already shared the same mindset beforehand. Very rarely does this sway the opposing view or offer new ideas.

Once again, I’m drawn back to the idea that a negative review can be fun to watch/listen. We might enjoy a sense of validation, we can say “Hey, I’m not the only one who didn’t like that thing.” Yet even then, I cant just point at a reviewer and say, “I’m entertained.” or “This person and I dislike the same things and therefore, they must be good critics.” I find that the critics I go out of my way to watch, offer more than just entertainment.

When Linkara lays into the toxic message that is ‘Holly Terror’, he contrasted about how SuperHeroes can knights-errant, showing the best in kindness and decencyWhen Angry Joe went full fury over ‘Ride to Hell’, it wasn’t just about bad gameplay, he also denounced the insulting and juvenile approach towards women and sex.And when BennetTheSage reviewed the anime ‘Fooly Cooly’, he reflected on how our tastes change and evolve with time but that doesn't mean that our past enjoyment was meaningless.

Honestly, the best reviews and critics aren’t those who just pick something to pieces, they’re people who recognize that creativity is an expression of an idea, even if its not well represented. By drawing our attention to the ideas to get people thinking. Bonus points if you can enjoy a laugh along the way. Yet there will always be people who just want to tear others down, attack the artist, and just be overall negative without caring about others or their growth. Whenever you put your work out there, someone else will see it as an opportunity for their own advancement.

What I hope people will take away from this, is where to invest their time. To look at a critics commentary and ask, “Is there a genuine care for the idea or expression?” “Is there just some sort of entertainment value?” Is when I can get a sense that a person is just unfunny and wearing the facade of a critic, is when I say can say “I have a pretty limited amount of time, are you really worth the investment?”

Here’s hoping that you found this long long ‘essay’, worth your own time and that it could help bring a new view to things.

[nebulawriter]

Black Panther

WAIT BEFORE YOU SCROLL AWAY! If you like this blog, some news: I recently got a moviepass, which means I will be watching a lot more movies, I’m hoping to make it one movie per week, which means one movie REVIEW per week. I’m not sure what I want to do with television right now, though, so we’ll deal with that later. 

ANYWAY as all the early reviews have told you this was a really good character driven, socially aware, well plotted, well crafted movie. 

I mean I think it kinda had to be, right? The first major black superhero movie? Granted I only saw it a little bit ago, but it’s hard to find flaws. but I want to start with that so I can talk about the characters, since they’re the centerpoint of the film. 

I mean I guess it’s not...the most complicated plot? I’m sure that was done intentionally so they could focus on showcasing the world and the characters and everything else, but...I mean its pretty predictable for the most part. 

Tied into that there was a lot of pretty on the nose exposition? but that was needed to explain the world and properly set things up and. Yeah, it was fine. 

Oh and there was one character death that was kinda unnecessary. 

Other than that? Yeah it was pretty solid. 

Killmonger: As you may have heard, this is one of the best villains marvel has put forward. I mean, it’s not the highest bar, basically he’s hanging out with Vulture, Hela, and Loki in the “best marvel villains” tent. I will disagree with some critics that he’s the BEST part of the movie or something like that (especially with like...*gestures to all the other characters*) but yeah he has a ‘point’ and some excellent political commentary and he’s got a cool look to him. Marvel has successfully saved another ex-human torch, because he does some wonderful acting that really stands out playing against the other characters. Personally I’m not quite behind the trend to make sure villains “have a point” but “take it too far” because I feel like that treads dangerously into just having the marginalized being villains for the heroes, and then we get into the “bad” marginalized people and....okay thats a complaint for the trope in general, THIS movie doesn’t do too much to contribute to that. I mean it’s a thing but he’s still a good character and a bad...person...and I get that. Actually a part of me wants to write something up about what really ‘Made’ him a villain, because I think it was more America than Wakanda, but that might not be for me to do. 

Klaue: Andy Serkis steps out of his motion capture suit to give a....well it was still a pretty animated performance. I think if he were the ‘main’ villain he would have gotten annoying, but as a side villain he played off Killmonger well. Did not expect him to die, mostly cause I thought Marvel was gonna keep him on, but kudos, movie. Though I wasn’t happy Killmonger’s girlfriend died, that felt unnecessary.

W’Kabi & Okoye: This will probably be more about Okoye because Heck Yeah but I love the duality in morals presented with these two, especially as they’re presented as lovers. Both are close to T’Challa, but both end up betraying him for Killmonger at the halfway point (ish. Not really a betrayal. just. On Killmonger’s side) and it’s so clear that Okoye does this for her love of Wakanda, and when Killmonger did things according to the rules of Wakanda, Okoye followed him, even if she didn’t like it. Very Lawful. W’Kabi, though, wanted what Killmonger could offer, and when the chips fell, went to war over it. These two also were the leaders of the armies that fought in the finale, so it was very interesting to see these two as opposites. Also, though OKOYE!!! DAMN I LOVE HER SO MUCH!! LIKE DAMN!

M’Baku: Don’t have much to say on him, other than I guess the one thing that wasn’t predictable was the good guys coming to these guys for help, but it made narrative sense, and it was nice to see that he was just....legitimately doing what he thought was right, the traditionalist to Shuri’s progressiveness. I wonder what he thinks about the end of the movie.

Zuri: Yeah I called his death the second he was on screen. 

Ramonda: I actually called her death too, but was gladly surprised. Woo!

Everett Ross: I did not expect to like Martin Freeman in this. It’s weird hearing him with an American Accent. He might be the weakest character in the movie, but that doesn’t quite feel like a flaw, he was....a plot point. And it was nice seeing the white guy being a plot point. 

Nakia: I admit, it took me a bit to stop just thinking of her as Lupita Nyong’o, but I loved her, I loved that she was always right, I thought her romance with T’Challa was adorable, and she was badass. Absolutely the moral center of the film and I dug it. 

Shuri: !!!!!!!! The comic relief of the film, clearly more in touch with the outside world than most, but she had respect for Wakanda and traditions and such. Her dynamic with her brother was amazing (actually, T’Challa’s dynamic with all the women were amazing, but we’ll get to that) She was smart and witty and brought some great levity to the film. Plus....awesome. IDK. 

T’Challa: A solid man, a good king, I like him. I mean that was basically it was just following him as he faced some pretty damn tough decisions. And then everything went to hell in a handbasket and. Whoops. But yeah, he was awesome, and a great person to have at the center of all the wild personalities listed above. Woo!

Wakanda: What an amazing world. I know so little of African culture I can’t really speak to a lot of it but I appreciate all the touches of it, and....okay I really appreciated that the tribes were color coded that. that helped a lot. But yeah holy shit that was amazing to see. 

(Sidenote, Theory for Infinity Wars: I’m betting that inside that Comet of Vibranium that’s made Wakanda so rich is in fact the Soul Stone. That’s my guess anyway. I dunno, if I were an alien trying to keep one of the Infinity Stones away from Thanos, wrapping it in a giant ball of Really Tough Metal and launching it into space (where it might have accidentally hit a measly planet like Earth) seems like a good idea.) (But the Wakandans in their new trading initiative dug too greedily and too deep and will probably find it and accidentally reveal its location to Thanos. Whoops. Can’t wait to see all the tribes united, fighting together, WITH the Avengers) 

The Social Commentary: Im willing to put money on the idea that the mid-credit scene was written after 45′s election, because you could almost tell they were ust... desperately trying not to say the word “wall.” 

As it was, yeah, this movie was directed towards a specifically African American audience, and I say African American instead of Black here because a lot of it is focused on America’s race problems (not to say other countries around the world DONT have that, but it was very America focused, which, for a movie made by Americans, makes sense. 

Anyway, as I am NOT African American, or a racial minority of any sort, I cannot speak to this with any nuance and can just say “Good.” Like, thumbs up, with my understanding of it, I’m all in favor of black communities a) helping each other out and b) getting stronger in general. If anything, I think a lot of the white characters in the movie could have been held more accountable, and considering Ross was right there they could have done something with that. but hey, they kept their focus, I’m good.

The plot: Like I said, kinda predictable (did you really expect me to believe T’Challa was dead?) but I....don’t care. It was tight, like, no holes that I can think of though I’m sure the internet will think of some.

Oh, and Bucky’s still in Wakanda. We kinda knew that but ‘kay. 

I really want to see Luke Cage working with the New York Wakandan Outreach Initiative, and/or going to Wakanda. I just think that’d be neat.

Wait, actually, thats it. T’Challa vs. Killmonger reminded me of Luke Cage vs.....shit what was his name, his half brother. Like, finding out his Dad was Wrong and now dealing with a villain his Dad created.

Am I missing anything? I think that covers all the stuff. 

[steviesays]

I agree with that post about the criticism of TLJ vs other films. What did you think of TLJ overall?

oh my god an anon asking me my opinion this is the most exciting thing thats ever happened to me

ok but for real though here we go buckle down folks this is probably going to be long as hell

overall like many Star Wars fans I was unfortunately a bit disappointed with tlj and was shocked with the direction that rian johnson decided to go with both the characterizations of our faves and the plot (both of which I’ll get into in a sec). however this doesn’t mean that this was a BAD movie. I enjoyed the film. yes I said it. I have many major critiques but while I was sitting there watching it, there were moments that I felt deeply for the characters, moments that I wanted to jump out of my seat, and the ending built up to a promising looking sequel that I’m definitely going to watch and tbh thats all that really matters in a movie.

now on to all the parts I didnt like lmao

as for the characterization of most of the main characters, the ones that stuck out to me the most and the ones I’ll get into here are Luke, Poe, Hux, and I want to talk a little bit about Rose. Luke is the one that hit me the hardest because Luke is the OG. everyones number one. LUKE MOTHERFUCKING SKYWALKER. now, my main complaint is the same one that most other people have, he’s too pessimistic and his actions at his Jedi school just dont make sense in the context of his character. how could the person that couldn’t even kill Darth Vader raise a lightsaber to his own nephew? who hadn’t even really done anything yet? as what, a preventative measure? when kylo ren was the first to tell this story in the movie I was like theres no fucking way hes bullshitting but when it turned out to be true???? I was literally taken aback. Luke’s explanation for it as a split second thought was the only way to bring this to the very edge of my believability, but even then, it was very difficult for me to wrap my mind around the character whose whole being is based on forgiveness and finding a way when all hope is lost even thinking about doing something like that and then just giving up when all of it is over. I was actually talking about this moment with my brother (we had a two hour long conversation about Star Wars after he watched the movie that I will also reference when I start talking about Rose) and we both agreed that this moment was a bit forced. he put into words something that I was trying to say all along and it made so much sense, in the movies they were trying to show how kylo ren’s sense of distrust and his anger towards Luke and his family came to be and instead of doing it right by showing it happening in small, subtle actions they decided to just have one huge obvious physical manifestation of betrayal and tbh it was lazy and bad characterization and thats what all the fans saw when the saw the movie and what mark saw when he first read the script

sorry that was long now on to my homeboy poe

I honestly feel like poe was demonized too much in this movie and made to look like some kind of lost kid playing soldier and it really annoyed me ??? like he was one of the top commanders of the resistance and to just have him completely thrown to the wayside like this in this movie just felt like …. why was he even in it? to get everyone killed? same with Finn and rose and honestly while I’m here let me talk about her too since I was going to bring her up later. I might get hate for this but rose honestly felt like a filler character to me. I just dont get any type of differentiation from her than from the rest of the resistance other than the fact that she now has a bit of a backstory. theres nothing particularly interesting about her character. shes just there. I feel like she had a lot of potential and it was just kind of wasted. I also thought the kiss at the end with Finn was ULTRA forced. like they were fine as friends but there was no romantic undertone until that moment like where did it come from and why? it was just there all of a sudden. now heres where my brothers commentary comes back into play because he really enjoyed tlj. he thought the romance was necessary and that it worked. keep in mind this is a straight, single, 25 year old man thats never been in a long term relationship. I think this has a lot to do with how people of different perspectives interpreted this movie. what does everyone else think because so far, on my dash everyone has been SILENT on that kiss. keep in mind im a kylux blog so I follow a lot of that side of the fandom but I do follow a few light side blogs too although many are caught up in the reylo stuff. I really dont think a romance arc is necessary at all but if its put in I want it between characters that actually have good romantic chemistry like Finn and poe or maybe Finn and Rey im holding out for kylux but I know its not happening lmfaooo

anyway onto the last person I want to talk about my cupcake domhnall

now hux hasn’t played a very big roll (seemingly) in the series so far and it was great to see him on screen more in tlj but good god at what cost. in the first movie he was calm cool and collected, a respected general that took shit from no one, and in this he was the joke of the movie taking hits from cringe-worthy jokes and just generally looking the opposite of what he did in tfa. it was honestly kind of hard to see because hux was one of my favorite characters in tfa and domhnall is one of my favorite actors (if you cant tell by my blog) and its just going to be weird to see where they pick him back up again in episode 9

oh my god I just realized I only talked about the characters and haven’t even gotten to the plot yet go grab some popcorn or something I have a lot more to say

first I want to talk about how this movie was set up as a whole. it was separated into three different storylines from the very beginning, Rey and Luke on the island, the resistance’s fight with the first order, and Finn and rose’s plan to invade the first order by themselves. I didn’t like this because it just made it feel too messy and very long. this whole movie was supposed to take place over a matter of a few days, but as it was jumping back and forth, it would be on a scene with Rey and then it would jump back to the resistance and I would be like damn theyre STILL doing this. tlj was a decently long movie but sitting there it felt like it was three hours+

In addition to that, I feel like a way they could have avoided this would be to cut out Finn and rose’s part, include them with the rest of the resistance instead of giving them a side plot that was doomed to fail from the start, and work with that. I really dont understand why it was necessary to separate them at all. their plan didnt work, they got most of the resistance killed in the process, there was no solid reason for them to go on this little adventure other than what? character development? if thats your excuse there are better ways to do it

ok this is the part that I was 1000000000% confused about. Carrie’s death. they had it. they literally had a scene with her dying. they had it ???? and then they Jesus’d her back to life ??????????? I was sitting in that theater WASTING MY TEARS because KYLO FUCKING REN COULDNT PULL THE TRIGGER AND THEN MY MOM DIED and then she lived ?????????? I have honestly never been so confused in my life. if I could have a time machine I would go back to that moment just so I could see the look on my own face because I know that shit was ridiculous. how the fuck is jj going to deal with this in the next movie though? rian LITERALLY had a scene with carrie dying in it. USED IT IN THE MOVIE. said nah fuck jj abrams he can figure this shit out on his own. and brought that bitch back to life. like honestly how much do they hate each other because I really didnt understand the magnitude until I watched that scene.

I cant think of anything else major I want to talk about right now but this is already ridiculously long anyway so if anyone has any questions they want to ask me my ask box and messages are always open!

[elizabethrobertajones]

Ok.. so do you think Charlie's ''Did you break up with someone too?'' to Dean refers to Castiel or Benny? Personally I like to think it refers to Cas since I ship Destiel, but Benny also seems plausible in the context...

Oh, my friend… I love this one so much :P You’re pressing my meta buttons here.

On the surface text, the episode opens with a recap that as far as I recall was pretty much just comparing Sam breaking up with Amelia to Dean giving Benny the adios. Charlie’s line is also seemingly touching on the same thing but in a surface text way you can shrug it off as the fact that it’s just a comparison - even go fairly deep on it being a commentary on the way that the brothers give stuff up for each other whether it’s a lover or vampire BFF who totally deserved better… And you can get quite deep in talking about all that without really needing to think too deep about the comparison that brought you there

Of course because it’s paralleling a break up to something else that looked a hell of a lot like a break up, it’s queer subtext around Dean and Benny. I personally think there’s no real implication Dean and Benny were a Thing, or that Dean in particular was romantically interested in Benny especially as the overlap with Cas drama is just too huge. However, in the got-back-to-earth side of the story, Benny is played off instead of a Dean/Cas love triangle, a Sam and Dean one and Benny is used to start off the jealousy and insecurity about being brothers that fuels Sam’s meltdown (Cas is involved in this too - honestly that 1 second blink and you miss it shove to get shotgun in 8x08 is the entire basis of this in a way :P Benny soaks up a lot of this which makes it easier in a sense that Cas doesn’t take too much fire for getting between Sam and Dean). 

Obviously if you like that sort of thing the relationship subtext between Dean and Benny makes the other point of the love triangle coded that way, though I see it as jealousy about Dean having someone else who calls him brother (as Benny does, repeatedly.) The actual subtext here (Dean sneaking around with a secret relationship, followed by Sam’s issues with the discovery of it, Sam clearly comparing it to Ruby’s seduction of him though I don’t think he says so in as many words, and the break up) is more on Dean and his relationship to Benny, in the way that it looks and the way people react. Charlie’s comparison is part of that: though Dean doesn’t inherently do anything relationship-y with Benny, everyone around him reads it that way and it creates a sort of… bubble around it.

I think it does count as Dean is bi subtext in the sense that it’s part of a wider pattern of Dean always having this stuff, there WAS romantic coding between them (because of the heavy paralleling to Sam and Amelia through the entire first half of the season equating Dean and Benny to that relationship) but maybe more in a potential or missed opportunity way (and I feel like Benny could be read as in love with Dean very easily). It’s kind of just… stuff happening in his orbit all the time that ends up coding him this way because of the relentless way it attaches to him :P Since I mentioned 10x19 already today re: Sam and Rowena, I’m just going to throw in a reminder that Benny is an established powerful part of Dean’s subconscious. There was no direct reason he’d be called up unlike how Rowena had a very immediate relevance to Sam. Benny just affected Dean that much that a spectre of him was such a powerful choice in that case)

Though the parallels were all between Amelia and Benny, in the recap of 8x11 and the end of 8x10 clearly being about this in DIRECT parallels, Dean ALSO is starting to have real issues with Cas because of his weird behaviour. Cas fucks off at the end of the episode in 8x10 and doesn’t return until 8x17, while Dean gets increasingly worried about his absence, and this is the first episode of that in between time as the main plot drama with Cas festers in the background. Dean DOESN’T have an emotional arc about Benny in this time in the same way that we never get any comment about Benny being on his mind between seeing him, and in 8x10 Dean is actually pretty neglectful of him because of all the drama going on (involving Cas, who comes to him to start them off on this one, but also some Sam drama on the side)… 

If we compare it to the similar emotional structure of season 11, it’s like 11x11 where Dean has no idea Cas is possessed by Lucifer but that and the surrounding episodes really start to lay on the irony that he hasn’t noticed yet. Since 8x11 is the start of a period of worrying about Cas. 

For example our first ever episode that starts with the now standard pattern of Winchesters in the Bunker, one comes into the room and asks what’s up, find a case that way, etc, part of that conversation is the “have you heard from Cas” thing we get oh so used to hearing in this much-repeated conversation :P This all builds until 8x16 which ends with Dean asking where Cas is all tearful after that prayer…

So, this comment about a break up going forwards, can have a double meaning of the rocky times indicated by how weird Cas is (and 8x10 ends with Sam and Dean warding the cabin so they can talk about how weird Cas is and how he flapped off so strangely and Dean of course is very hurt by it). The fact that he left has an open-ended feeling of hurt and worry for Dean about what’s up with him, and is the emotional arc we’ll get if we have to make it a competition between Cas and Benny about what’s affecting Dean going forwards. Benny sort of gets filed with Lisa in things we never talk about again, but if Dean is hurting and weird about it… Cas is the one who we see drama about ongoing :P 

I also think there’s double meaning in what Dean says to prompt that:

DEAN Yeah, well, now he’s more committed than ever, so there’s that. But, trust me, this life – you can’t afford attachments. You just got to… let go.

Season 8 has a lot of Cas fucking off when Dean wants him around - it’s basically the point of their emotional drama. In 8x22 Dean says “sounds like him” when Sam can’t find Cas in the Bunker, and in 8x23 Cas comes to Dean telling him he’s going to go lock himself up in Heaven forever for the sake of fixing it. In 8x11, Dean’s so far lost Cas in Purgatory only to discover Cas willingly stayed behind, gone through the process of adopting Cas as a hunter in 8x08 only to have Cas choose to stay behind and not come with them, then Cas pops up in 8x10 wanting Dean’s help, and flaps off immediately and weirdly enough he and Sam need a crisis meeting about it.

Dean very clearly wants Cas to stay, so in this respect, Dean’s abandonment issues are deeply at play in this season, as he keeps on trying to keep Cas, and to make him stay, and losing that. I can understand why he’d be (doubly) bitter about attachments after having to let go of Benny in the same day he was dealing with his 3rd or 4th feeling of Cas leaving THAT SEASON already, and that it might be on his mind when he says that, because he had to both push Benny away, and just can’t make Cas stay, so what’s the point of getting attached to him? Making Dean both the dump-er and dump-ee by the end of 8x10. 

I also went through my blog and found a ton of links to other discussion of this… Some of it Dean x Benny, some of it Destiel, some of it kind of… less shippy:

http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/127712786998/lrthreads-suricattus-mooseleys-8x10-vs

http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/126528573368/i-dont-ship-deanbenny-but-i-can-see-there-is

http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/98136115408/crossroadscastiel-torn-and-frayed-is-such-an

http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/94449409953/rhymeswthfrenzy-and-this-is-why-ill-never

http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/151662901753/bisexual-dean-winchester-i-was-just-rewatching

http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/148212898434/dustydreamsanddirtyscars-8x11-larp-and-the