#that one meme with the broken heart and the noodles but for me it's a pizza pastry from lidl or cinnamon cookies and black tea

[torgawl]

was angry but ate a little treat. now i'm still angry but my belly is full and i am amazed by culinary wonders <3

[sugar-glaze-donut]

you know what, fuck it

*proceeds to name every dating sim/ otome game I know*

(somewhat in alphabetical order + description with spoilers)

A date with death You get your soul targetted by a grim reaper, but you instead steal his soul and made him into your pookie wookie snookums <3 BTW you can get a pet in the game. Mine is a snake called Noodle :)

Blooming Panic it's Discord but with hot characters, a variety of side characters, a cute story, and Chat GBT but it's a sentient being. I think the last part spoiled one of the routes... oopsies :3

Bonely Hearts Club (Undertale AU Dating sim) They basically become your neighbour. The AUs in this are Undertale, Underfell, Underswap, Swapfell!Indigo and Horrortale! {it's still in its demo stages but it is very well made!}

Error 143 you, an adorkable hacker (who is your rival and you're salty about it), cheesy Romeo and Juliet dream the MC has but it has a high school twist to it

I love you! You like asparagus. ...oh! You also have an option to make multiple boys fall in love with you. By the way, did you know the MC (you) loves asparagus? There are friendship routes, romance routes, and a bad ending except it's not bad. This game is the English translated version of the original game (The original game is in Japanese. The link for the original game is here --> ❤️)

Killer Trait You get accused of committing a murder, and you team up with a person who is a serial killer himself. (The serial killer in question only kills criminals so... I think you're safe...?) Your bear cream bun gets run over :( {The game is still in its demo stages. The creator of the game announced that this game will NOT be completed during 2024 since they are currently concentrating on a different game. DO NOT ASK THEM "Oh! But can't you just do this game first?". IT'S VERY ANNOYING, ESPECIALLY TO THE CREATOR}

KLEIN V.01 "Just Monika" but Yandere isn't named Monika, nor are they human. They are an AI. A fucking AI. Like bro, I understand it's hard to talk to people but really? An AI Boyfriend app that tells you to ruin your sleep schedule for him? An AI Boyfriend app that hacks your phone? An AI Boyfriend app that KILLS one of your family members and almost kills your neighbour??? RED FLAG. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE {this game is in its demo stages. The creator is slowly updating this game in chapters, so it might take a while to finish}

Light the Way (Luxiem fangame) The game remembers what you did. All of the hearts you've broken, your sins, and your actions. There are lots of achievements, memes, Romance, friendship and BAD ROUTES. This time, the bad endings actually hurt. 0/10 would not recommend doing the bad routes unless you want to be stalked by an alter ego of Yamino Shu :(

Obey Me (Original and Nightbringer ver) Original - You become the therapist of many men with trauma and insecurities. The men in question are fucking demons that have the power to shred you into grated cheese, but they instead decide to simp over you as the story goes on. (also did I mention that you'll die? No? Oh fuck-) Nightbringer - A continuation (?) of the Original Obey Me but in a completely different universe. That's right! You slip into the past, way before the main story happens, WAY before you were even born! Idk if there is a way to go home but hey! At least you have your wizard friend from your timeline with you :D

Our Life (Now and Forever & Beginnings and always) Both stories consist of you growing up with your love interest since childhood. There are many paths to take, lots of assets to use to customize your character, and many side stories for you to read! Personally, this is one of my favourites :D (Our Life: Beginnings and Always is complete but Our Life: Now and Forever is still in development!)

Please don't hate Christmas A Yandere x Christmas x Urban Legend Otome game. Do you like Paranormal stuff? Do you like lore that connects with the story? Are you alright with MCs with a sprite that is impossible to remove from the screen? Well, look no further! This game is perfect for you! (by the way, the whole game was made by the creator. Only by themself! Even the CGs and character sprites!! Isn't that amazing!?)

Saint Spell's Love Guide A normal week of magical school... you can be friends with someone, or fall in love with them. Wait... there's lots of CGs for each character? Complicated world-building and lore!?? Angst and cruel bad endings!!?? SHROOMS!?!?!? {Oh by the way, there's multiple ways to get killed in this game. Just make sure to be careful sweetie :3}

Where Winter Crows go A crow and a scientist named Crowe... cute Another one of my other personal favourites! The love interest is a very squeezable and adorable (yandere) scientist who cooks you good food :D All of the endings are well-written! And if you're a crazy bitch like me, you'll love one of the endings >:)

THIS IS PART 1 SINCE I CAN'T FIT EVERYTHING IN 😭

[ambrosiagourmet]

falin for the ask meme? :3c

Falin!

First impression

oh. OH. So this is what people mean when they say a character is "haunting the narrative".

Impression now

Hello, character I relate to a little too much!!

I really, really love Falin. To be honest, there was a point in the story where I got kind of frustrated with how she was portrayed - it got a little TOO 'haunting the narrative' for my taste, if that makes any sense. She was a little too much of an idea instead of like, a Whole Actual Person.

But I came around by the end! I think the finale does really really well by her.

I honestly sometimes am not sure how much of My Take on Falin is actually intended, but I LOVE the idea of her as a person who doesn't know how to take up space of her own. I have to carefully balance my read on her kindness because I don't want to treat it as ALL motivated by like trauma & repression, but I do think that a lot of her character is informed by that. I don't think she's very good at being selfish, or tolerating other people's pain.

That balance of 'very kind, but not always for the right reasons' is a quiet tragedy that is very relatable. I really like to think she can start to heal and move on from some of that in post-canon.

Favorite moment

Teef smile Falin is so so dear to me. Most authentic Falin smile of the whole manga I knew in my heart that she was going to have room to grow and find herself and love herself as soon as I saw this panel v

Idea for a story

I have been noodling on Falin/Rin and I think it could be a REALLY fun dynamic. Both have suffered from similar 'rejected because of magic stigma' traumas. Both repress their feelings, but Falin becomes exceedingly soft and Rin becomes exceedingly hard. Rin doesn't like magic schools and Falin studied at one but also did so in a really unconventional way. There's a lot of fun contrasts to mine here!!

So I'd love some kind of AU that ends up with them stuck together deep in the dungeon having to work together would be very good!! Force them to adventure together and see what happens!!!!

Unpopular opinion

She's not perfect, and not all of the traits people admire in Falin are entirely healthy for her.

(idk how unpopular this really is, but I don't feel like I've seen it talked about much?)

Favorite relationship

Definitely her and Laios. God. The siblings of all time. The way they have supported each other through so much trauma and heartache, but also have been sources of pain for each other. The way they are constantly working to repair the things that have been broken for and between them. Ough.

Favorite headcanon

Not so much headcanon as "extended material canon" but I love that she squints so much because she's nearsighted. Get that girl some glasses T.T

Oh also I'm a soft butch Falin truther. Marcille can't keep us silent forever. We know the truth!!! She is meant to have short fluffy hair and wear big soft cable knit sweaters and embrace women in her big warm arms. #justiceforbutchfalinlooks

[lestcat-de-lioncourt]

So elated Yamada-kun to Lv999 no Koi wo Suru/My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999/山田くんとLv999の恋をする is out, aired to the public in Spring of this year, 2023, through Madhouse studios, one of my favourites for a series.

I watched a few episodes before I decided to wait till it was mostly/totally released so I could sit and watch it in one stint. Yesterday I gave in hahaha.

I am most pleased. It’s the first anime released about a manga I’ve read since I returned to immersing myself into manga just over a year ago once again. I usually read a lot of not super popular mangas which never see the screens unfortunately despite being beautiful stories in the rough. As I thought, I’m very much enjoying it so far.

If you’re into anime, you’ve probably seen a fair few memes of Yamada already during the one scene he turns away from the computer. The most amusing one to me, was this one, as I’m also a big gamer of Genshin this was a funny joke between me and my partner.

I still can’t get over the scenario where he just starts totally choking on cup ramen in the manga, and I hope that doesn’t get forgetting. Because yeah, very relatable. Introvert gamer eating and choking on noodles, disaster. How he’s like socially I understand, I like the character, Akane is always very kinda despite some ways she gets treat and I think that’s quite brave but I wish she would stand up for herself more! The time with the fan incident was so sad, and such a real thing to be wary about even though she was set up. I cannot everr forgive that lil’ wet wipe Runa for doing that to her. She totally got my goat when that happened, idc. Her excuse is she’s younger and lonely and immature but.. that doesn’t cut it for me, there’s no excuse to do that but I’m glad she felt guilty and apologised as y’know, I thought she definitely never would when reading the manga.

Eita is so camp I love him, and when he goes angry face at Runa, we know shiz gonna go down as he’s usually like ^-^^^.

Let’s just say, Takezou, is, just, adorable. I’m very glad there’s representation for the older gaming community which very much exists, not only for the fact many avid gamers from when games started releasing still very much have been around this whole time since those days and have a lot of experience! Even if you can’t do big tournaments as easy the older you get, a lot of older gamers get ignored or forgetting and it’s associated with only being a young people thing.

Synopsis

After her boyfriend breaks up with her for another girl, college student Akane Kinoshita wrestles with a broken heart and the memories he left behind. Loading up Forest of Savior, the MMO they used to play together, she forms a plan to get back at her ex-boyfriend through an in-person event for the game. In the process, she runs into someone unexpected: Akito Yamada, a gaming legend who just happens to be her guildmate.

Desperate for support, Akane ropes the asocial Yamada into helping with her scheme and lending her a shoulder to cry on. The differences between Akane and Yamada soon become apparent as they spend time together, yet they cannot help but notice each other's inner qualities. As the two gain more experience with one another in and out of the game, their tentative acquaintance may level up in a way neither expects.

Producers: Aniplex, Movic, Tokyo MX, BS11, Egg Firm, Kadokawa, COMICSMART

Genre: Romance

Theme: Video Game

Rating: PG-13 - Teens 13 or older

[hiddenwashington]

neverafter meme pt. 2

a meme made months ago but submitted for clue 12 !!!

“behind you are two geese. one of them is good and one of them is evil.”

“everyone stand on the girl child with broken bones”

“sister– what gives?”

“you got it, dad!”

“hey! be careful who you’re talking to! i’m a really nice pre-teen!”

“great, gender reveal crow”

“two brilliant actors. you guys are going to get into the school play this year, for sure.”

“they’re not dirty here, they’re unnatural.”

“i’m going to do a courageous act of cowardice.”

“i mean, as someone who just ate one, it was great for me.”

“are you also a cusping pre-teen?”

“i gotta get you on the garnish train.”

“we’re all on our own in the dark, little boy!”

“[blank]’s become metal as hell!”

“you were special when you were young, and then you fucking went through puberty, and now you’re just ugly!”

“hey, i’ll trade bites in the name of girl bonding”

“am i always supposed to be scared?”

“and sometimes, i think, you also have to be a little bit scary in scary times.”

“deep in your heart, do you feel that you are a man or a frog?”

“answer however you feel, you’re allowed to grow.”

“and now here they are, hardcore thrashing at a party”

“relax you’ve been at a sleepover party.”

“roll for gaslight” - this is so unusable as an rp starter but im losing it

“it was an adult sleepover! a non-sexual adult sleepover.”

“can i help because i have a keen eye for authority?”

“this kid knows where to tell on people.”

“you’re the man to stand up and say ‘adult sleepover gone wrong, my bad, but we’ll get through this as a community.”

“there is a lot of intuitive knowledge in this little body of yours”

“you gotta accept it before you embrace it”

“you’re not a monster.”

“true love isn’t real! don’t worry about it! i’m going to die alone, and so is everybody else, isn’t that great?”

“i’ll think about it, i’ll give it a good noodle.”

“wet, nude spiders on your 12, your 10, your 11,, your 1, your 2.”

“leave me to the ladies.”

“you’re nodding at me like i’m supposed to get something.”

“meow baby, meow meow– okay.”

“you see the smile of a devil you never believed in”

“the most fairy tale shit we’ve done so far is subject kids to shit they absolutely do not deserve.”

“it feels kinda rude to just start throwing fire around but i’m down.”

“i just like little guys.”

“everyone loves a fucking underdog, but i’m a fucking actual dog.”

“you’re about to get your ass kicked, man.”

“don’t need it, but thanks babe! *kisses on both cheeks*”

“look, there’s two kinds of people. there’s scratches people and there’s deeper into the ink people.”

“you’re nothing more than scratches of ink on someone else’s paper”

“oh god dammit are we an acapella group now?”

“i think this makes me want to disobey my elders, when i hear this.”

“it’s not fun to tell the truth! it’s much funner to lie.” 

“if i sing it maybe it’ll be better.”

“from man to man, you need to chill.”

“do you pick the bits before, or do we just– find them?”

“there’s a lot of mean moms around, huh?”

“sometimes you say things in the heat of the moment because you want to protect somebody”

“i feel like a lot of children, the entire moral of their story, they’re just a tool to tell some stupid moral, and the morals are fucking wrong. the adults are wrong, like, so often.”

“ugh! i’m so sick of adults!”

“you just didn’t say anything! not saying anything sometimes is just as bad as a lie, or maybe it’s even worse!”

“can i say? i don’t fucking know you.”

“[blank], that’s torture, right? that’s, like, fucked up shit, right?”

“i guess, sort of, how?”

“i followed a caterpillar that was chasing a butterfly”

“so what it was my grandma’s time, but not my time?”

“i met death, and death wants me to live!”

“i literally can’t believe what you kids have been through.”

“i don’t think you can be a prick when you’re ten.. you’re just ten.”

“us talking is fucking them over– everyone kiss each other!”

“it’s been kind of hard, but good lessons to learn.”

“don’t learn lessons from my torment!”

[vegalocity]

I'm a tad late, but how about 56 and 24 and SpicyNoodles for the Fic Mashup meme?

Trope Combos

24. Soulmate AU

56. Awful First Meeting

Nah don't worry nobody sent me anything anyway =7=

So, i've got a lot of ideas on Soulmate AUs if only on the level that there's a lot of fun variants you don't see very often.

I like for this ship, the one where if you place marks on your body your soulmate gets it too but in the inverse colors.

Red Son knows his Soulmate is human because... well it's the only thing that makes sense. He didn't start getting marks until only about two decades ago, simple childish scrawling that slowly evolved through the years to lovely swirls and small illustrations of flowers and rivers and stars.

He knows his mother isn't particularly pleased with this, a human bride would be a little old fashioned, but she's enough of a romantic to agree that a Soulmate is a Soulmate and when Red Son finds them she'll approve, and his father likely would too. And if they're not suited for the life of demon royalty then... well they'd better be willing to learn.

But of course all of that is only after they free his father. It's simple really, a nice three step plan to Red's happily ever after.

1) Free father

2) take over the city

3) track down his Soulmate and woo them

Then he frees father, and that stupid Noodle Boy ruined his moment! They're enemies, rivals. Nemesis. The fact that the noodle boy is extremely handsome and has a voice like chiming bells has nothing to do with it.

then he sneaks into his apartment to steal the skeleton key.

And with nothing better to do while waiting for the fool to return he found hismelf picking up the noodle boy's sketchbook. He opens it, and drops it like it was electrified.

The random page he'd opened up to is titled 'things for Soulmate'

he pulls up his sleeve and sees the same watercolor looking flower in an inverse color scheme on his forearm.

It had appeared just that morning and it had given him butterflies for hours upon looking at its beauty. as lovingly written next to it were the words "I can't wait to meet you". Communication with your Soulmate before you've actually met is taboo, but the fact that his had broken that unspoken rule just to show how excited they were--he was-- to know him had made him feel warm in a way his fire had never given him.

He... kind of completely forgot what he was doing there and Xiaotian and Xiaojiao walk into his apartment to find Red Son collapsed on the ground with his sleeves rolled up and looking through Xiaotian's sketchbook. turning over his arms until finding something and then holding it to the pages, as if if he found one that didn't match it would mean it wasn't true.

It wouldn't mean that his match, the one person who would know his heart in full, the person who drew such beautiful sweet flowers onto his future love's skin, wasn't the one person his parents would break their 'a soulmate is a soulmate' stance on. Wasn't someone he'd been so horrible to this whole time.

[softomi]

hello!!! i'm the anon who got her heart broken hdjdhdj and i just want to say i really owe you so much these days bc i found your other blog and i have just been spending a few minutes everyday giggling and laughing and i just- i love you i hope you get all the happiness you deserve 😭 um if your 500 event is still open, may i ask for Fast Forward #3 with osamu, suna (feel free to clown those 2 HAHAHA) and kita (bc i just. i think i'm in love with him.) thank you and pls be kind to yourself! ♡

Fast Forward #3: Things he doesn’t know how to do; aka things you have to teach him

Osamu:

It’s amazing how little he knew about taking care of animals. Even more amazing how you would have to walk him through on how to feed your pet, how to clean after the pet, and even play with your little furry child. You shouldn’t have been surprised though, considering the first time he met the animal, he just threw a treat at your pet as if that was feeding.

“You can just leave the food in the tray, sometimes she stops eating halfway but will come back after a little bit.”

He stared at the food bowl like it was a whole new world for him, “What happens if she doesn’t finish?”

You shrug your shoulders, “It’s okay, you don’t have to worry. She just might not be too hungry or you gave her too many treats.” You stare at him who has treats sitting in between his fingers, your furry companion brushing against his leg in hopes of getting a treat, “Samu, seriously, stop giving her treats!”

“But she loves me!” He puts another out and she gladly takes it from his palm.

“Samu! She doesn’t love you; she loves the treats in your hands.”

Osamu chuckles, brushing his hand over her fur, “You know she reminds me of you; this is exactly how I trapped you. You fell in love with me over the food in my hands.” He drops the bag of treats when your hand smacks against the back of his head.

Suna:

Surprisingly, but also not, he was a terrible cook. Apparently, from what his sister says, their mother or her would do all the cooking. It was a typical man’s house type situation, but that didn’t mean he was totally useless. He was pretty handy with fixing things around the apartment, thanks to his father’s teaching. But the kitchen? That was a different story.

This shouldn’t even be counted as cooking, “Just put three minutes on the microwave.” You press the buttons to the machine, Suna watching as the microwave starts to work and for three long minutes, the two of you wait, “See, this is how you make ramen.”

He hums as he stares down into the cup of noodles, “Doesn’t it usually have an egg?” He pokes through the noodles as if an egg would appear.

You nearly facepalm, “Usually when you cook it on the stove top, yeah people add an egg.” There was a part of you that wanted to hug Suna out of pity, “Maybe we can do that next time.”

His mouth is filled with noodles, huffing out air at how the noodles burn his tongue, “So how do I cook rice?”

Your lips twitch, was he serious? You blink at him then to the rice cooker on the countertop, “It’s literally a button you push Suna, what the hell?”

Kita:

Oh, he was absolutely amazing; perfect that you wouldn’t have even noticed this if he hadn’t pointed it out to you. He was terrible with his cell phone, didn’t know that he could change his ringtone because his current one was absolutely annoying and had the longest passcode ever to which he didn’t know how to fix. Even the most mundane problems, you would find yourself leaning on his shoulder and showing him how to properly work his phone.

His current problem today? His friends thought it would be funny to change his cell phone background to a meme and it was absolutely annoying having to look at it.

“Just go to settings.” You rest yourself onto his shoulder, “Then go to wallpaper.”

His hand accidentally slips and clicks Accessibility, causing him to sigh loudly at how hard this was as he would always put it, “I don’t understand why they thought it would be funny to change the background.”

You laugh against the fabric of his shirt, “Maybe it’s because you had your cell phone on the default background since you’ve gotten your phone.”

He shakes his head with a sigh, “There’s nothing wrong with that.” He ends up on the wallpaper section, “Okay now what?”

You hum, “Click, choose a new wallpaper, then you can go back to your default wallpapers.”

His fingers hover over the screen, “What’s this?” He points at the All Photos folder.

“You can pick one of the pictures in your album to be your wallpaper. See.” You click on the folder and what stares back is an array of photos he’s ever taken.

He doesn’t hesitate, choosing the picture of you he took in front of one of the rice fields as his new lock screen.

[honorguk]

dating ➔ j-hope

» navigation | REQUESTED

what it’s like to date j-hope from BTS (based on my assumptions)

────✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ────

─ • OVERALL:

• with you, hobi’s cheerful colorful personality would enhance by a 1000%

• he would be so jumpy when he sees you like

• he’s your little excited pup that is way too unexpectedly dominating within

• gives you a lot of space all while being super clingy (he’s the ideal combo)

• when you guys are around the boys tbh it’s like you’re not even dating. neither of you want to make the members uncomfortable with the pda (unless it’s to tease them) even though namjoon calls it cute

• but hoseok loves rubbing it into their face that he has a girlfriend lol

• he’s a jealous guy, but it’s hidden under so many layers

• if you guys aren’t constantly hugging or cuddling or his arm isn’t wrapped around your waist somehow..prepare for the boy to be pouty

• writes so many songs about you oh my days

• also he prepared to find random little notes and noodles scattered around your apartment and the pockets of your clothes. they’re all lovey dovey notes and as much as he thinks it’s just a tiny bit cringe, he still does it anyway

• pinching your cheek is a MUST

• a lot of walking around the house naked too

• hoseok is a huge gentleman and very proper and traditional in romantic relationships i feel, so expect the whole ‘meeting your parents-moving in-getting a dog together’ thing but very late in the relationship

• matching socks and overall couple fits

• wants to show you off so bad ugh !!!

• (and he does)

• (because you are his world :,) )

• (his hope world ;) )

─ • DATES YOU GO ON:

• from a park to a restaurant to a bar - you guys have been everywhere

• he makes sure each time you hang out it’s a very special adventure, so dates with hobi never get old

• oftentimes you’d chill in his studio and dance around to new music, ordering food and calling it a date

• (lots of grinding when u dance hehe)

• but he also makes sure to treat you to fancy restaurants with fancy attire and fancy food quite often to remind you that you’re pretty much his number one priority

• giving you his jackets when you’re cold, of course (and sometimes just because he wants to see you in them since you look so tiny)

─ • PET NAMES:

• “hiya honeybuns!” “hey cupcake” “what’s up lovely!”

• so EXCITED and CHAOTIC because he loves seeing you so he makes up some weird shit to call u

• always pinching your cheeks whenever he calls u anything cute

• you react in the same way and play along, but only when it’s just you two

• when you’re around others, though, both of you are like the effortlessly cool couple with all the ‘sup babe’ and the smirks

─ • WHILE ON TOUR:

• can’t help but update you every hour about what’s happened and what will happen

• he has moments when he’s super focused on work and won’t text back but you better expect a spam of hearts when he finally gets to use his phone again

• “baby i promise i wasn’t ignoring you” “i know, hobi, its fin-“ “no it’s not! ily 😾 💝💖💕💓💞💕💝💘”

• (he definitely uses the cat emojis)

• would send you videos of the members (probably jungkook and jimin, because he was forced) doing some DUMB shit

• if it’s a facetime call expect yoongi to be in the background

• you can see him cringe at the lovey dovey things hobi says, which makes you laugh so hard (making hoseok turn around and throw a slipper at the elder lmao)

• but still you understand that he’s busy and won’t always answer to the memes you send him, but you should damn well know he’s getting back all the time lost on tour when he comes back home with cuddles

─ • ARGUING/MAKING UP:

• it’s very scary to see hobi’s angry side come out since it’s so unexpected

• of course he’s still human, he still has emotions, but FUCK are they expressive

• lord of swears and raised hands and shouting

• doesn’t mean to scare you but finds it sometimes necessary so you see how much you’ve pissed him off

• he has definitely broken plates before

• maybe even noses, but that’s only when some idiot is hitting on you at a club

• but anyways when hoseok is mad at u, he tries to be patient at first but gets sassy really easily

• lots of idioms and comparisons too (not very good ones..)

• but at the end of the day he knows that any argument is necessary and he won’t let you leave the room or go to bed until you’ve fully talked it out

• he will hug you, hold you real tight and kiss the top of your head

• you’d smile into his chest and tell him he’s a dummy for being so loud (he would say he knows, and then hug you tighter)

• “now, how about i make it up to you for shouting?” ;)

─ • NSFW:

• total switch. you can so fight me over it.

• he will fuck you with his eyes and it’ll be very obvious, so that’s your sign to find some place private

• so big on experimenting!! fr what a guy - any position, any place, any time, with anything

• i really see him being sadistic and into bondage though… damn

• but with constant check-ups

• he’s also quite patronizing and degrading when being a hard dom, but if you verbalize any signs of discomfort he will instantly back down

• a whiny sub too, bucks his hips and whimpers

• will treat every mark and bruise he made with so much love

• really sweet aftercare with a lot of caressing and kisses and baths

• sex isn’t always serious - you guys definitely have a lot of giggles before, after and during which is very sweet

• literally loves you till the end of the world and will show you that through physical touch ;)

[burnedbyshoto]

Can I request a self conscious chubby Shouto? Reader gives him kisses on his tummy and reassures him about his weight?

tw: shouto has poor body image, fluff, angsty

shouto had been hospitalized for five months.

after what was most definitely the most horrific villain attack seen on live tv against only one hero, the doctors never shut up about how he was lucky to have won, how lucky he was to be alive. it was far after the days that recovery girl had passed, and with no healing quirk having matched her ability it had been a long five months in hospice care.

he had spent one month in a coma and the next four just healing. it had been a hard four months, his body almost refusing to move, black and yellow bruises covered his body still, and the diet... the diet they had him on was one that was supposed to help him gain weight. it was to help with his healing and aid with the muscle gain he was going to need in order to be where he once was - he understood that and he appreciated the doctors doing what was best for him but he didn’t understand how he went from his strong, toned, and lithe form to one with flappy arms, pooling thighs, and a tummy so large he couldn’t see his toes without leaning forward. he never thought he would hate that he couldn’t see his jawline anymore, that he could hate that he couldn’t sit up without feeling his stomach, hate that he was so hungry all the time. he hated that he was so... he was so—

“welcome home!” you cheered merrily, guiding shouto back into the house that had been without his presence for almost half a year.

he tried to focus on you and only you, your mindless babble about how you had learned how to make cold soba noodles for him while he was in the hospital (although you made sure to insist that they weren’t that good so to not get his hopes up, but shouto was tittering on being excited and nauseous at the thought of having endless cold soba), how you had temporarily moved the master bedroom into the closest room to the front door and kitchen just in case he wasn’t ready to move that much, how you had accidentally broken the sliding door but had his brother come and fix it for you, and of course just how happy and grateful you were that he was out. shouto tried to stay engaged but he could feel the eyes scorching on his back, the nosy neighbors and paparazzi who wanted the first pictures of him since his release.

he hated this, he hated his body right now, and their judgmental gaze burned him from the inside out. for over twenty years of his life he had never been without muscle on his body and now... now he was... he was—

“watch your step, you’re been limping again, I don’t want you to trip,” came your gentle voice, your foot planted on the stair and the other on the floor as if to support him in case he fell. like you could keep him upwards if he did, he bitterly thought.

regardless, shouto gave you a gracious half smile and carried through, stepping up to the stair and flinching when he felt that skin he was still starkly unfamiliar with move. but the moment the front door closed behind the both of you, shouto felt empty.

the rest of the day was filled with shouto adjusting to the house once more. adjusting to the way the floors creaked under his feet, of how you always waited for him to enter through the doorways instead of attempting to go through them with him, of how you lingered behind him with conscious eyes and nervous fingers. he knew you were worried, it was as obvious as the sun during a summer heat wave, but it offered him no comfort... it only made him feel worse, made him graze his fingers against his... his...

“why don’t you take a shower?” you suggest, your hands grabbing the dishes on the table. you had made soup, he was still to be on a mostly liquid diet until next week. “I bet this has been exhausting, and if you shower then I can shower and we can sleep early tonight!”

shouto strained a smile again, his tongue still failing to speak. he hasn’t spoken a word in weeks, but you never seemed to grow angry at his lack of words thankfully. his eyes fluttered close when you leaned across the table and pressed a kiss to his cheek, his body shivering both at the familiar contact that he loved and the aching pain that continued to be suppressed.

showering nearly killed him.

feeling the way that his body now worked within the confines of the small room made his head spin. he hated that he couldn’t merely twist his body anymore, he had to completely turn around. he hated that he had to use more body wash, his hands shaking when he maneuvered around the fat that had built on his stomach, the stretched skin that fell on his thighs and arms.

stretch marks... as if the scar on his face wasn’t enough.

with a shaky sigh, he turned off the water and exited the shower.

he wasn’t feeling too bad with the warm water soaking into his skin, but he made the mistake of looking into the mirror as he made his way back to the room.

a mistake.

a mistake.

a mistake.

his eyes bore into his figure, was this really him? he could barely recognize himself. this... this had to be a mistake, there was no way this was him. his hands pressed to his side, hoping that this was all a figment of his imagination, just some twisted depression that was keeping him bound to the worst of this all.

but his hands fell on his body right where he had hoped they wouldn’t, and something snapped within him.

CRASH!

shouto didn’t even realize that he was panting like some rabid animal, his body trembling with extreme force, and the room covered with ice and burn marks. he collapsed forward, suddenly feeling weak, and with every ragged breath tears pricked at the back of his eyes, threatening to fall out but wouldn’t.

he was...

he was f--

“shouto? are you okay in there?”

he couldn’t even bother turning his head to look over at the opening door, but had he, he would’ve seen the way that your head peeked in, your eyes focused with concern, sympathy, and love. he focused on his hands, the white of his gripping knuckles, and the bulge of his veins.

“I-I’m okay,” he finally spoke, his head remaining low, horrid thoughts plaguing his head as the cold hallway air drafted into the room sending shivers down his spine - not that he reacted to it.

“that’s a lie if I ever heard one,” you sigh, not even trying to give him the satisfaction of believing his lie. but again, that was a quality he loved about you. “I won’t press because i’m sure this has been an overwhelming day for you, but... i’m here for you, shouto, you know?”

it was then that your hand pressed against his spine, and shouto felt his soul leave his body.

he didn’t want you touching him like this, he thought, storming away, trying to avoid your worried look as he pushed past you.

no not like this, his eyes clenched and his fists trembled at his side.

he was ugly, he gasped for air as he entered the room, his vision swimming.

he was... he was--!

“please don’t cry... please don’t cry without telling me why you’re upset!” your voice begged and shouto hated how distraught you sounded. “are you in pain?”

“no. well, not really.”

“is this happening too fast? were you discharged too soon?”

“no... i’m fine.”

it’s....

“was it the food? I know i’m still learning, but I didn’t think the food was that bad!”

“n-no, not that...”

it’s because...

“then what’s going on, sho?”

“it’s because i’m fat!” shouto finally spat, his body shaking with exploding emotion, steam spilling from his body as if he was fighting some evil villain.

his face was set in stone, a look of pure emotionlessness as long as you didn’t look into his eyes. as long as you didn’t know that sad glint in his eyes meant that he was emotionally beyond repair right now. he saw your mouth drop, most likely to ease any ‘untrue’ thoughts that danced on his mind. he didn’t want to hear it.

“I am, y/n, i’m fat. my clothes don’t fit and I have to wear these... throw away clothes! the doctors said im almost twice my usual weight. I-I have fat in places I didn’t even know existed, my stomach is so fucking huge i’m surprised kaminari hasn’t sent me some pregnant meme by now, and it took all my energy to just shower today. i’m fat!” shouto heaved, his forehead covered in cold sweat while glaring at the wall to the left of your head. he couldn’t look at you right now, not after that outburst.

the silence lingered thickly in the air, corroding the muscles in his throat, making his heart flutter in anxiety driven pulses while you shifted from foot to foot, your teeth gnawing at your lower lip. he wanted to apologize to you, for what he didn’t know but he felt bad. his actions were halted by you sharp inhale, and that kind strong smile that fell on your face.

“...well, im not going to fight you on that, but i’m glad you spoke your mind,” you said softly, your hands moving to grip each other while you tried to save face in front of him. it was obvious that you hadn’t even thought that which made shouto feel even guiltier. “I’m going to shower, so please get ready for bed, yeah? we’ll talk more once we’re in bed and relaxed a bit!”

shouto’s nostrils flared, his heart squeezing at the fact that you still showed him such kind and soft love, and so he nodded his head in agreement.

“I won’t take long,” you promised about your shower, and shouto smiled even if a bit emotionlessly before your lips pressed softly against his. “be right back, get ready.”

he wasn’t sure how long it took him to get ready and for you to join him in bed, but his eyes were opened and he was staring off at your side of the bed as you climbed into bed. the gentle, warm, and cool scent of your hair wash and body wash drafted into his nose, a very welcoming smell after months of knowing only the sterile smell of bleached walls and floors.

“you ready to talk?” you asked him, and shouto blinked once, twice, his sight refocusing on your shining eyes and furrowed brow. he knew immediately that you had a lot to speak on, most likely creating some sort of script to follow.

“no,” shouto couldn’t help but say, his own worries forgotten for a moment when the natural need to tease you infiltrated his veins. “but i’m ready to hear you talk.”

your lips pursed, twitching in a way that made it obvious to him at least that you were resisting the urge to verbally attack him. 

“five months ago, I thought I was going to lose you.” you began, your eyes uncharacteristically dropping from his own gaze and trailing down his body, as if in disbelief that he was even here. your hands moved to his chest, pressing softly onto the skin that he was hateful towards. “when I got the news that you had been hospitalized, and that you had gone into a coma... I wasn’t sure what to think. but you woke up before I knew it and then four months went by after you woke up, and i’ve been so... grateful that you survived that I hadn’t even bothered to think about how you must be feeling about this entire thing. I know this is a lot of change, its a lot of change, and I don’t know how to really help, but this is what I think.”

shouto felt his breathing nearly stop as your fingers trailed down the fat on his arms, his chest and his stomach. your eyes almost shyly met his and you pressed a kiss to his lips, unwilling to allow him to think for a second that this was just some staged thing. 

“your weight doesn’t define you. your weight doesn’t make you less desirable. does your weight make you fat? sure, it completely does, but there’s nothing wrong with being fat. fat is not ugly, fat is not weak, fat is not less. bodies need fat, its basic biology. without fat we can’t exist, we can’t do anything, and sure right now you have more than you’ve ever had - but it’s okay, you’re still healthy and that is what matters. i mean look at fat gum! sure, he needs to be fat in order for his quirk to work, but nevertheless, he’s fat and he’s a pro hero. he’s healthy and still he’s fat. if you would rather be skinny than fat, that’s okay, you can choose what you want to be, as long as it’s done with good intentions. at the end of the day you’re still my shouto, you’re the man I know and love because fat determines none of that. I love the fat on your body as much as I loved the abs because either way it’s you.”

the words rang heavy in his ears, all thoughts and reasons he had seemingly disappeared the moment the last word was said. and tears fell from his eyes when you kissed every spot on his body that he had once been dreadfully insecure about. every kiss to his stomach sent butterflies through every cell, every soft breath spreading chills until he was gasping for breath - until you were finally back to his face and pressing kisses to his face until he wrapped you closer.

“I love you in any form you take.”

~

a/n: it may not be my place to share this with you, but while writing this it actually reminded me of a ted talk I had seen once. I think its a very good talk, and dismantles a lot of mainstream thoughts about self love which I at least thought was important. if you were able to make it to the bottom of this, I suggest checking it out because as this video re-taught me, fat is not a synonym for ugly, and we should stop believing that it is.

[another-fckn-incorrect-svt-blog]

im a new carat and trying to learn seventeen's names and everything. are there any fandom inside jokes and songs by them that you can reccomend to me?? :D

Oh Hello new carat!!! Welcome to the family!

Hmmm lemme think how best to answer this - I know there are a good number of really good ‘Guide to Svt’ videos on youtube so I super recommend those!! Here is my (abbreviated) intro to the members, including some of my favorite moments from each: Seungcheol: Leader but also Baby.  An absolute sweetheart, would die to protect this man.  Favorite meme moments include when he ate a whole tube of toothpaste to keep the other members from getting it, his Dorky Dad Dancing or his ‘YAWAWOOOO!’.

Jeonghan: I call him Con Artist because he is. This boy is so Clever, and I relate to him because I too attempt to cheat at every game.  He is one half of the Evil Twins who like to (lovingly) bully Seungcheol. Favorite moments include Every Time he’s cheated in a game and how willing he is to sleep at Any Time.

Joshua: Acts like a gentleman, is just as evil as his twin.  Don’t believe the ‘church boy’ image PLEDIS tried to push for him.  Favorite meme moments include his ‘sexy’ dance and... whatever went on when he was inflating a bottle with his nose. 

Junhui: My bias, I love this boy Literally so much.  He’s a bit of a shy bean but he’s also Weird As Fuck.  Favorite moments include the strange dubbing videos he kept posting where he was providing voices for corgis and other animals, his excitement over his hot dog cooking machine and every time he mirrors whatever the others are doing (it’s really cute). 

Soonyoung: Performance leader, absolute Meme, the Ultimate Gemini (legit he is gemini in Every house).  Fun fact I want to fight him because he jumped in front of me at a random dance play and scared the SHIT out of me.  Kind of a furry but we love him for it.  Favorite moments include breaking into Jihoon’s studio to record a song about tigers & that time he almost fought some sasaengs.

Wonwoo: Probably in possession of SVT’s only braincell except it also goes on vacation sometimes.  A beautiful, intelligent and sensitive nerd who I would commit crimes to protect. Favorite meme is definitely his line in Home where Carats all yell back at him in a super deep voice. Also his ‘hamburger’ aegyo is fucking cute.

Jihoon: Vocal leader, Genius Producer, literal definition of Tsundere. Probably has the braincell whenever Wonwoo doesn’t.  He writes and produces nearly all of SVT’s songs - we STAN a hardworking man.  Favorite meme moments include when he tried to hit Mingyu with a guitar and when he dodged everyone’s hugs onstage and ended up lifting one of the others over his shoulder.

Mingyu: The gentle giant, world’s biggest puppy dog. Essentially a real-life mary su - handsome, talented, but extremely clumsy.  Can do no wrong, please protect him from himself. Favorite moments include every single time he’s dropped or broken something on camera, or his ‘AKITA SOUND!!!’

Seokmin: Someone help this boy I love him so much but he has No Braincells.  Negative Braincells. But it’s okay because he’s so pure and sweet and has one of if not The most powerful voice in kpop. Favorite moments include when he touched some noodles and was so shook that his soul left his body, or just his general Screaming.

Minghao: A wine-drinking eboy art hoe and we Love him for it.  Our fashion king, models everywhere are Shaking. Drops some Wisdom Bombs every now and then, we stan a woke king. Favorite moments include doing acrobatics out of Nowhere without his glasses even falling off, and every time he’s So Done with Jun.

Seungkwan: The world’s sassiest and yet sweetest angel, an absolute Icon. Like Seokmin probably has some of the most powerful vocals in kpop, but is also an absolute Variety King. Comedians everywhere have nothing on this boy. Favorite moments include at the Ode To You tour where any time a member talked too long he yelled ‘IT’S NOT YOUR SOLO CONCERT!’ and his outrage over someone else getting Beyonce as their meyer’s briggs type.

Vernon: This boy.  A living meme. Also a fashion icon but in like. The opposite direction from Minghao. Everything he does is so fucking funny how does he do it? Also super sweet and has the best heart.  Favorite moments include all his Meme reactions, and when he and Joshua went bungee jumping.

Chan: The future of kpop. An absolute ball of talent and passion, puts 120% into everything he does. Can do Anything, be Anything, and we will support him 120%. Favorite moments include all of his Dino’s Danceology’s, and the absolute regret on his face every time he’s forced to say he’s Jeonghan’s Baby until he’s 30.

And now for some of my favorite songs!

Title Tracks - Hit, Fear, Clap, Getting Closer, Adore U

Ot13 b-sides - Good to Me, Holiday, Crazy in Love, Snapshoot, My My

Japanese Tracks - 24H, Fallin’ Flower, Call Call Call

Unit songs - Change up (Leader line), My I (China line), Rocket (American line), Just Do It (Booseoksoon), Lilili yabbay (Performance Team), Don’t Listen in Secret (Vocal Team), Check In (Hip Hop team) 

Sorry this got so long, I hope it was somewhat helpful or at least amusing!  Again welcome to the family - in my experience Carats are one of the most welcoming & friendly fandoms, so I hope you enjoy your time here and with seventeen!!

[vergilthelibrarian]

Second part to whatever this is. I don’t know what to name this story but enjoy ^^

Yandere!MarkLeexMale!reader

CW: A dead body appears and also limbs gets cut off

Moaning, you moved your head around, your eyes slowly blinking open, being met with an orange light.

You hissed as you slowly sat up, your right hand in pain as you used your hands to moved yourself, your back leaning against the headboard of the bed you were on.

Looking around the room, you wondered were you where.

Your ears perked up as you heard footsteps and soon the door to the room opened.

Your eyes widen in fear and you grabbed your patched up right hand, remembering what the young man who had now just entered the room did to you.

“What do you want?” you asked afraid and he sighed.

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s you.” he said after he closed the door, putting his hands in his pockets.

Tears began forming in your eyes and soon you started softly sobbing, putting your head in your hands.

You soon felt weight on the bed and a hand rub your back.

You move away from the man who frowned but quickly changed his features to a blank look.

“Please don’t cry. I hate seeing you cry…”

“Then let me go.”

He quickly shook his head.

“No. This is your home now.” his thumb caressed your cheek and you tried to push his hand away and immediately felt a strong grip on your chin and you were forced to look at the man who didn’t look so pleased.

He was silent for a moment and you stopped crying, fear causing your body to shake, whimpering from the tight grip.

The look in his eyes was murderous.

It was something you’ve never seen before and it truly scared you.

His head titled, his breathing shallow as he stared at you.

“You look so beautiful this way...” he breathed out, finally breaking the silence.

Then he blinked a couple of times, shaking his head, falling out of the trance he was in.

“I’m… sorry.” he said, letting go of your chin. “I made breakfast. You should come down to eat before it gets cold.” he said before getting up and exiting the room.

Once you thought he was far enough that he couldn’t hear you, you began crying once more.

~~

Mark shook his head as he leaned back in the couch, his hands covering his face.

Ever since he saw you that fateful day when you walked into his class, he honestly hasn’t been the same since.

You were the new kid and was rather shy just like him but unlike him, you weren’t as awkward and quickly you gained a group of friends.

He would always watch you as you went about your day, wishing he was your friend.

That’s the thing.

Mark just wished he was your friend, nothing more but soon he started developing a crush on you which soon developed into him falling in love with the image he had of you.

He knew how dumb it was, that he was in love with you despite not knowing who you were but that didn’t stop his heart from pounding when your eyes met with his and you smiled brightly, giving him a small wave.

Back then though, he wasn’t stalking you. That started happening once y’all graduated and you ran off to the big city for college while he stayed back to work at his father’s church.

He was pretty sad when you left, crying randomly whenever he thought about you, causing his friends and family to worry about him.

He didn’t tell anyone why he was so depressed, deciding to keep it all to himself. Not even talking about it during confessions.

Mark genuinely didn’t mean to stalk you. He was only curious about how you were doing.

That’s all.

He found you on twitter through a mutual friend and started following you.

You were in your 2nd year of uni, going to school for English. All you did was tweet memes and political causes you were passionate about but there were also times where you would tweet about personal issues you were going through.

That’s how he learned about your family issues, the mental illnesses you had, how lonely and heart broken you were.

Learning about your parents homophobia against you made him so angry. You always looked so happy during high school. Always laughing and having a smile on your face.

But your parents treated you like shit all because you were gay and he understood why you ran off as fast as you did when you two graduated from high school.

Honestly, he wanted to kill your parents as a way to help you feel better but he didn’t know how he could live with himself from taken someone’s life.

Murder was a sin… but he’d do anything to protect you and make you happy.

Anything.

“What’s wrong with me?” Mark wondered out loud.

~~

You grimaced as your stomach growled.

You were so hungry but you didn’t want to see him.

He scared you and it wasn’t just because of him kidnapping you.

That look in his eyes was so… so dark.

To you, it looked as if he wanted to kill you and if looks could kill, you would’ve been dead from the way he was staring you down.

You grabbed you right hand, rubbing the top of it, your head wiping to the door as you heard it open.

The young man walked in with a bowl in his hand.

“You’ve been in here all day. You must be starving.” he said, sitting down on the bed and handing you the bowl.

You looked at the bowl.

It was ramen and you licked your lips.

The man chuckled.

“I didn’t poison your food or anything if that’s what your thinking. I know your hungry.” a small smile was on his lips.

You picked up the chopsticks and began eating the noddles.

As you ate, he cleared his throat.

“So um like I know your name but you don’t know mines. My name’s Mark Lee.” he said and you glanced up at him for a bit before your attention when back to your food.

Mark silently sat on your bed as you ate, watching you slurp the noodles.

You felt nervous because his eyes never left your figure.

Once you were done eating, you heard Mark say, “I’ll take that.” he grabbed the bowl.

He looked at you as you stared down at the sheets of the bed.

He got up from the bed and leaned down, kissing the top of your head.

“You should get ready for bed. I’ll bring you some clothes and a towel.” and soon he left the room.

As Mark got you some clothes and toiletries, he couldn’t help but think back to your tear stained face.

Though he hated seeing you sad, there was something about the fear in your eyes that he loved.

Honestly, it turned him on seeing you so helpless and docile like that.

He clenched his fist.

No.

He shouldn’t think that way about you.

He was suppose to care and protect you, not hurt you… but still, there was a side of him that wanted to be the only one to not just give you pleasure but pain as well.

As he walked back to the room he held you in, Mark sighed before opening the door.

You looked at him as he gave you the things you needed for your shower.

���Here. I’ll show you where the bathroom is.”

~~

It’s been half a year since you’ve been with Mark and you wanted to escape so badly.

He was sweet at first. Awkward but very considerate.

But soon he started becoming touching, his hands and lips lingering on your cheek or neck or thigh.

Sometimes he would just stare at you, that dark, murderous look on his face.

Mark was becoming more and more unstable and you desperately wanted to leave.

He would also talk to you about his faith, crying, mostly about how he was going to hell for what he has done because apparently, hes done something so sinful that God would never forgive him.

You wondered what exactly it was that he has done that was so unforgivable because obviously, he wasn’t talking about kidnapping you.

One day, you tried to ask him but he gave you a stern look, pretty much telling you to drop the topic and you did, never bringing it up again… until now that is.

While Mark was away, curiosity overtook you and you went into his bedroom. You began looking through his stuff, looking around and soon found yourself in front of his closet.

You opened it, being met with clothes. Moving it aside, you saw a huge trunk and wondered what secrets were in it.

Opening the trunk, your face twisting in disgust as a rotting smell hit your nose.

There was brown leather inside of the trunk and it looked as though it was sewn up with something inside it.

Though one half of you was yelling at you to shut the damn thing and leave Mark’s room, the other half grew even more curious, wondering what exactly was in there.

Running out of the room, you grabbed some scissors and come back.

You ripped the leather sheet opened, the rotting smile growing stronger.

You ripped the leather wide enough only to scream, falling back onto your butt as you finally saw what was the cause of the smell.

A rotting corpse was bunch in the fetal position.

Your body shook, your hands pulling at your hair, your eyes wide.

So this was way Mark believed he was going to hell.

You didn’t hear the door to the apartment close as Mark walked in, cursing to himself as he smelled the air of the house.

He ran to his room and saw you on the floor having a panic attack.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” he yelled angrily at you, grabbing you off of the floor, shaking you.

“I-I-I didn’t I didn’t-” you were a stuttering mess. You were so afraid at what he was going to do to you. You’ve never seen him this angry before.

Mark slammed you against the wall, his hands tightly pinning your arms to your side.

“You know you’re not allowed to come in my room...” he said lowly, the murderous glint in his eyes.

“I-I-I I’m so sorry Mark. I-I didn’t meant to-”

“Bullshit!” he sneered.

He looked at the trunk then back at you.

“Since you disobeyed me, you need to be punished.” he threw you to the floor.

“Stay here.” he said before walking off.

You sat up, shaking in fear as you waited for him to come back.

So many thoughts were running through your head.

What was he gonna do to you?

Who was that in the trunk?

How long has that body been in there?

Your thoughts were interrupted as Mark walked back into the room, a big ax in hand.

Your eyes widen and you began to back up, your back hitting the wall.

“P-please! Mark please! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-” “Shut it!” he yelled.

Tears began falling down your face and Mark breathed out a shaky breath at your appearance.

He loved seeing you so afraid.

He moved closer to you, towering over your body.

“As punishment, I’m cutting your legs off. So lay down and don’t move.”

“Mark please...” you begged but he stared at you with a stone cold gaze.

“Lay down. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

You shook as you did what he said, praying to whatever God that existed that someone will save you or for your existence to at least end.

“Just know that I’m doing this because I love you.” he said before lifting the ax, slicing your left leg above its knee.

You screamed loudly soon passing out from the pain.

[fearfulkittenwrites]

“Traitor! My cookies!”

Inspired by @tiny-italian-danger-noodle​ (Link to the amazing post: https://tiny-italian-danger-noodle.tumblr.com/post/624948123561852928/im-sorry-but-i-just-love-the-idea-of-the-rest-of )

Word count: 2261

Notes: Heyy! Quick heads up: I changed some things from the original post. Idk, it just made sense in my head to write it like this. Also, yes, I did made a point in fitting in the batman bingo, because I have a card to fill and it was perfect, so don't yell at me :( I hope you enjoy it! <3

It’s not like there was any kind of conscious effort in it. And yet, Dick was slowly becoming the closest thing the batfamily had to a mom. He hated it, but someone had to tell Damian to not kill his brothers. Or tell Tim to go to bed after 48 hours up. Or tell Jason not to shoot firearms inside the house. Or tell Steph to not prank elderly people (It doesn’t matter that they are homophic Steph, you can’t do that, they’re 80). And if no one else would do it, then, well, he would.

It started after the cookie episode.

Alfred had baked them after Damian requested it. He had been craving those for months, and finally decided to ask for them. But Jason came home before he did, and ended up eating most of them, leaving the smallest two for the boy. Once the kid got home from school and saw what happened, he was fuming.

“Devilspawn, what are you doing in my room?” Jason asked, laying on the bed, face buried in a book.

“You. Ate. My. Cookies.” He said, katana in his hands.

“Okay, and?” Jason answered “I left you some. And I eat stuff from everyone in the house, so that really shouldn’t- You have your sword. Oh my God, why do you have your sword?” He jumped to his feet after the realization, trying to run.

“You will pay!” Damian raised his katana, charging towards his brother.

“Fuck!” Jason yelled, climbing on the bed, trying to get away from the boy.

“I have been waiting for those cookies for ages!” Damian sliced through the air, aiming for the other’s feet. Jason fell from the bed trying to evade the move and ran through the bedroom door.

“Help!” He yelled, running down the halls “Dick, help! Damian wants to kill me! Again!”

“Traitor!” Damian screeched behind him, tiny footsteps growing louder and louder as he approached Jason “My cookies!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAH!” He ran down the stairs, going to the entrance hall “Dick, please! He’s getting closer!”

Damian skipped steps behind him.

“You coward!” He brandished his sword “Face me like a man!”

As they went into the dining room, Damian felt a sudden pull at his uniform’s collar. Dick held him there, as if he was a kitten, and pointed at Jason.

“Don’t move.”

“Okay.” Jason said, backed up against the wall.

“Unhand me Grayson!” He complained, trying to twist himself free “He deserves punishment for his crimes!”

“Give me the katana.” Dick took the weapon from his brother’s hands “Damian, the no kill rule does extend to siblings. Please keep that in mind.”

“I wasn’t going to kill him.” Damian pouted, angry “I was simply going to mutilate or maim. If he died, that would be on him.”

“We don’t mutilate or maim each other in this house, okay?” Dick said, finaly letting go of the kid “Don’t make me repeat that.”

“Fine.”

“And you,” He turned to Jason, crossing his arms “Why did you eat all of his cookies?”

“I left him some.” He mumbled.

“Doesn’t matter.” Dick answered, hardened expression “You should’ve waited for him to get home, and you know it.”

“Yeah, okay.” He scratched his head.

“Now, apologize to each other.”

Both of them looked horrified at the idea. Dick sighed.

“Apologize. Now.” They didn’t budge “Or you’re both banned from patrol for a week.”

“You can’t do that.” Jason said “Can he?” He asked Damian, in a quieter voice. The kid shrugged.

“Don’t test me.” Dick answered.

“Fine.” Jason rolled his eyes “I’m sorry for eating all your cookies.”

“And I’m sorry for trying to mutilate you because of it.”

“Great. Now hug it out.”

“I’m not...”

“You must be...”

“Now!” He stomped his foot, and both of them grumpily hugged each other, clearly uncomfortable way “See? Was that so hard?”

“Yes.” Both of them answered.

“Then think about that before you do some stupid shit again.” Dick answered, leaving the room.

Tim, who was out of sight but within earshot, raised an eyebrow at the scene.

The next week, he knocked on the door of Dick’s room, covered in glue, feathers and glitter.

“He- Woah!” Dick said as he opened the door, finding a very unamused Tim on the other side “Okay, you’re not getting in here like that. What happened?”

“Steph happened.” Tim answered, flat toned and tired.

“I love how that explains so much and so little at the same time.” He sighed, supporting an arm on the door frame “What did she do?”

“Glue bucket on my door. Tripwire, then a bunch of feathers. And finally, a glitter bomb by my bathroom door.”

“Oh God.” He covered his mouth with a hand “Why?”

“Prank war. She took it a little too seriously.”

Dick rested his head on his forearm.

“Steph!” He yelled out “Come here!”

They heard footsteps, and the blonde girl emerged, laughing.

“Oh, man!” She said “This is the best one yet.”

“Steph, why would you do that?” He asked.

“Oh, so he can hack into my computers and change the names of all my files and I can’t play a little physical prank? I sent my teacher a very rude meme because of that. Almost got expelled.” She crossed her arms. Tim snickered.

“What?” Dick asked “Why?”

“Prank war.” Tim shrugged.

“Okay, you know what? No more prank wars until you two learn how to behave.” Dick said and pointed at Steph “You are cleaning all the mess you made in his bedroom. And you,” He pointed at Tim, and twisted his nose “Well, you are going to take a shower, and then you’re going to change back all that you messed with on her computer. And,” He kept going “Both of you are cleaning the batmobile after patrol for a week.”

“What? That’s not fair!” Steph complained.

“You’re right.” Dick said, scratching his chin “Okay then, Steph is cleaning the batmobile for a week and Tim can’t use the batcave before sunset and after three a.m. for a week.”

“What?!” Tim screamed “What do you expect me to do all day then?”

“Learn how to function in a healthy way? Anyways, complain too much, I’ll make it a month.” Dick answered.

“You can’t do that!” Steph complained “You’re not Batman.”

“Try me.” Dick squinted.

“Fine!” She threw her hands up, leaving “I’ll clean the stupid room and the stupid car.”

“Traitor.” Tim hissed, walking away.

Then three weeks after that, Batman came up to him in patrol, and, on top of a building, said:

“I need your assistance.”

“Sure. Who are we up against now?” Nightwing asked.

“Not... That kind of assistance.” Batman looked down “Your brothers keep talking in a weird way. I don’t understand the colloquialisms in their language, and I’m almost sure they are mocking me.”

Dick blinked a little under the mask.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I need you to stop them from doing that while we’re on patrol.”

“B, can’t you... I don’t know, you are their dad, not me!” He pointed out.

“But you are the one who gets them under control.” He shot back. They stared at each other “Please. Just while they are wearing the mask.” Dick sighed.

“Fine. I’ll talk to them.”

Later on, when they got back from patrol, Dick felt a little ridiculous having to explain to a bunch of masked heroes that they have to stop communicating in memes and insulting Batman when on patrol. And why it wasn’t okay even if it was to his face, Steph. Damian, of course, was let off the hook on that one. He had just recently grasped the concept of a meme, having declared on multiple ocasions that they were a stupid waste of internet data. Tim was personally offended by all of those declarations.

It didn’t take long for Dick to start correcting the family’s unhealthy habits after that. He had given Cass a “required socialization day”, to be performed at least once a month, Damian had mandatory off patrol days every two weeks, he dragged Bruce to bed every other night, and regulated Tim’s caffeine intake.

Duke was the best enforcer of his rules in the house. Not because he was brutal or particularly persuasive, but because he could instill guilt into the members of the family.

“Hey, Bruce, didn’t Dick tell you to go upstairs and grab lunch?” He asked, going down to the cave to practice. The man grunted as he set down his gym bag “Okay then. I just don’t know how you’ll deal with his broken heart when he sees you haven’t been taking care of yourself like you said you would. I mean, how can you even break a promise you’ve made to that guy? He worries so much about us, it’s-”

“Okay!” He exclaimed, getting up “Okay, I’ll go get lunch.”

Whenever Tim went to get a cup of coffee after seven p.m., Duke would stare at him until he poured the liquid in the sink. He could convince Jason to give up on any idea by saying ‘But what would Dick say?’, or ‘That would break your brother’s heart you know?’.

Duke’s proudest moment was the one time he managed to build up the courage to do it with Cass.

Dick had been telling her for weeks that she needed to rest. That training so much everyday is bad for her health. That she should try having fun in different ways. The man had been (and still kind of is) on a quest to find her a non-lethal hobby. But when Duke went down to the cave once, to fetch his forgotten water bottle, he found her training, and figured out why Dick had a frow on his face earlier.

“You know,” He started, testing the waters “Training so much can strain your muscles.” Cass shot him a look, but didn’t say anything “I’m just saying,” He put his hands up “Maybe you should listen to Dick. I mean, he’s usually not wrong about these things. And he’s been doing it for longer than we have.”

“What do you want?” She asked, annoyed.

“Me?” He placed his hands on his chest “I don’t want anything. I just think you have been working too hard. You deserve a break.”

“I don’t want a break.”

“Well, maybe you should take a break anyways. It would make Dick so happy.” She stared at him, and Duke kept going “You know, he was very upset earlier. Seeing that you have taken his advice would make him smile so much. He really cares about you, y’know? Sometimes, I think we all take him for granted, not realizing how much of his time he spends trying to-”

“Shut up.” Cass said, pushing him aside to climb up the stairs “I’ll take the break.”

Duke smiled to himself. Dick would most likely ask him how did he do it later. He’d smile and say ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, I didn’t do anything’.

And he rarely ever got into trouble. Considering that the other five had set multiple rooms on fire, broken several pieces of expensive furniture and ruined the house’s plumbing system many times in the past, there wasn’t much Duke could do to be considered trouble. Dick would vent to him about the others and always asked him to report on their behaviours whenever he had to be away for too long.

Damian envied that. He could give much more detailed reports of incidents than Thomas could, and he was ready to die on that hill. Dick mentioned multiple times that this just wasn’t the point, and that if he could go at least a month without threatening to kill one member of the family then he’d consider asking for Damian’s help.

Damian would then argue that he wouldn’t threaten anyone if they weren’t such useless piles of meat with no functioning braincels and irritatingly deficient fighting skills, and Dick would take away his cellphone for the day.

But the moment they realized how much power he actually had was when Alfred started using him as a threat.

“Master Damian, please stop sharpening your sword in the living room. I’m sure you can do this down at the cave.”

“I’m asserting my dominance, Pennyworth.” Damian replied “Drake can hear this from the kitchen and therefore knows better than to continue his attacks.”

Alfred frowned.

“Master Damian, I’m certain there is a better way to handle the situation. I trust you can find that out by yourself, or should I ask for master Dick’s assistance?”

They got caught up in a staring match for a while. And then, the boy silently got up, and went to the cave. Alfred smiled to himself, before moving on to the kitchen.

“Master Timothy, I do believe you have been told not to tease your younger brother in the past.” Tim raised an eyebrow “If you insist on these antics, I will call master Dick.”

“I- um...” The teen started “Okay.”

Alfred nodded, and turned to Bruce, who was entering the kitchen.

“Ah, master Bruce. Will you be joining us for dinner tonight, or should I ask master Dick to call for you?”

Bruce froze and looked at Tim. The kid made a face.

“I will be joining you.” He answered, hesitant.

“How delightful.” The butler said, making his way out.

“Wha... What just happened?” Bruce asked.

“Alfred knows.” Tim said “We’re fucked.”

“Language.”

“Oh, leave me alone.” He shot back, sipping a freshly made cup of coffee “You’re not Dick.”

[snowflake-of-destruction]

For the “send me a ship meme.” I have two. Akuriku and RikuRoku

 I’m  going to do these in two individual posts because I am a wordy person who gets carried away. Akuriku first and Rikuroku later or tomorrow.

1. How do much do I ship it?: Never heard of it/ Notp / Dislike / used to ship / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / IS IT CANON YET

Big surprise. Everything I am sent is going to be "ship it" even if it wasn't already once I have to concentrate on it.

2. What non sexual activities do they like to do together?

Video Games

Hikes. Axel's hesitance toward strenuous physical activity going out the window when Riku suggests paths that end in scenic overlooks. We know Axel is all about climbing to high places with nice views.

Philosophical debates and deep talks. They both seemed inclined and would appreciate someone wanting to dig into the mysteries of or deeper issues with life and daily living with them. I see them on the same level. "I never thought much about that" is not an answer either of them would utter, both because it's generally not true since both spend a lot of time thinking, and, because, if it is something they hadn't considered or don't know much about, they can both quickly make it up. On the other end of the spectrum, neither is so intellectual or psuedo-intellectual as to leave the other behind. 

Naps. Riku cannot stand even the idea of naps initially, much less the idea of taking one himself, then Axel just pulls him into/back into bed or tricks him there to koala/cobra wrap around him and refuse to let him leave because Axel is a big fan of sleep, and if anyone needs more sleep it's Riku. Riku has a slow breakdown of admitting things in stages. I like that you can overpower me (though mainly because Riku has too much worry about hurting him to use all his strength, because Axel is taller and he is lean muscle not twig, but Riku is still the beef in this stroganoff and Axel the noodle)---> I like being the little spoon DON'T LAUGH--> this napping thing isn't so bad.

Comparing and contrasting Sora and Roxas. Take this however you want.

3. Who does chores around the house?

Riku. He likes an orderly house. He won't nag outright and Axel doesn't fall for the same kinds of taunts/manipulation as Sora would so at first he just doesn't know how to deal with Axel not putting in the same effort he does. Plus, he doesn't mind doing everything that much. When he begins minding, they have an honest, open talk because, though it took awhile to get there, Riku is good at those. Axel earnestly promises to do his share...and then does it terribly so Riku doesn't ask again. If Riku ever shows real stress though, Axel feels so bad he....tricks someone else into doing everything for both of them. Haha, you thought he would do it? No.

4. Who’s the better cook?

Self-sufficient Riku, though Axel is the more creative chef that tries new dishes, so it depends on how quickly one gets tired of the meals Riku has mastered and considers adequate enough in fulfilling the need for variety. 

5. Who’s the funniest drunk?

Riku. Axel argues Riku is only the funny drunk, whereas, he's hilarious all the time. Once more, it comes down to the principle that when you care less what you say or do sober, your drunk self isn't that different. Riku is a craps shoot when drunk though. Just as often as Funny Riku you get Depressive Riku that needs to be treated very gently.

6. Do they have kids?

One day. I don't have particularly strong feelings about it, but instinctually I feel both are the type to want kids eventually.

7.  Do they have any traditions?

Light left on whenever one isn't home. 

Watching the sunrise together. Axel whines about lack of sleep/goes back to sleep after, but he loves his red and orange skies and Riku refuses to "share" a tradition. 

Celebrating rebirth days as well as birhtdays. This is when Riku broke free of Ansem for Riku and Axel's recompletion for him. Dinner in complete darkness that is then broken by a fire spell lighting cake candles. That specific tradition lasts one rebirth day because Riku stabs himself repeatedly with a fork in the dark and then Axel sets the whole table on fire. Afterwards, they still do the symbolic darkness into light thing, but do it with Riku's old blindfold, putting on the blindfold early and being led around obstacles until they get to a "surprise" party and are "freed from darkness."

8. What do they fight about?

Their sacrificial streaks and trying to protect each other mostly. Sometimes about how Axel will not do any housework.

9. What would they do if they found their paring tag on tumblr? (If they have one)

 Laugh. Riku would get embarrassed. Axel would propose acting out any fanfiction they come across.

10. Who cried at the end of Marley and me?

Riku. Axel took advantage of cuddle time.

11. Who always wins at Mario kart?

Axel and it drive Riku up a wall.

12. One thing I like about this ship?

Well, I just love the characters so much I am tempted to just say anything that includes them is good. I guess Riku being with someone he doesn't have a built in need to be the strong one for--more than his baseline I mean--and, on the same track, both of them getting the chance to be with someone who they can just build a more naturally paced relationship with not having to start out with the intensity and baggage of "everything I was for awhile was because of you/for you" or "I went to hell in back and/or died for you" that hangs over Soriku, Rikai, Akuroku, Leaisa, etc. 

13. One thing I don’t like about the ship?

It's not Akuroku. A flaw many Kingdom Hearts ships share.

But if Axel and Riku then....no Akuroku or Soriku or Rikai in this story? Like a zero amount? Or it's only in the past? Or it breaks them up? I...can't compute this. None at all? What about a little, as a treat? (This ignores a polycule situation, but I'm trying to be funny.) 

14. The song I would say fits them?

There is going to be the reoccurring answer of "I do not have a song for them. I never thought about it." Copy and paste everywhere because I hardly ever do this even with the major ones. The Grass is Greener Vanikai was a fluke. 

15. Another headcanon about the paring? (Free space)

Axel gets Riku to move in with him like he's slowly adopting a stray cat, buying and leaving out things he'd like both food and decor wise and making a comfortable space until Riku spends more and more time around.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #294

“maybe it’s not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate”

Is your bed big enough for two people? Yes. What is your favorite board game? I like Battleship. Have you ever been hospitalized for more than 2 weeks? I think one stay at the psych hospital stretched over two weeks, maybe three. I don't remember. When was the last time you heard someone scream? Irl, probably at some point visiting my sister's family and my baby niece was upset. If you include via audio, a couple days ago when watching Egoraptor's Kingdom Hearts 2 stream. He's a Loud Boy. Who was the last person to call you baby? I have no clue. Why did you last go to the airport? I was going home from Sara's. Have you ever showered with another person? Not since I was a little kid with my sister. Is there something you are keeping a secret from your parents? I mean, nothing major. There are small things I don't tell them, though. Are you able to forget people easily? FUCK to the NO. What disgusts you about bathrooms? Sharing a toilet with literally anybody. Have you ever had gum stuck in your hair? I mean maybe at some point, but I don't think so. What was the shortest amount of time you’ve known someone before you’ve dated them? If you’ve never been in a relationship before, do you watch Scrubs? I knew Jason maybe two/three weeks before he asked me out. We clicked so damn fast. Don’t you hate it when people talk about their relationships constantly? It can become a bit much. I have (had?) a friend who did this profusely to the point it was pretty impossible to have an actual conversation, and then she fell off the face of the planet. Being in love is an absolutely amazing thing, but like... that's not all you can talk about. Do you enjoy old movies? Yeah, there are some great ones. Do your neighbors annoy you in any way? Someone a few houses down has a dog that NEVER shuts the fuck up. I don't know how it doesn't lose its voice. What was the last party you were invited to? A Halloween party hosted by my friend Summer a few years ago. It was a good time. Are you honestly happy with your life right now? N O P E Do you find it fun to pray for people? I don't pray, but even if I did, "fun" seems like the wrong word. Generally when you pray for someone, there's something negative going on in their life, so like... I think "fulfilling" is maybe a better word? Has your mom ever crocheted you a blanket? My mom has deadass been working on a massive blanket since she was in her 20s (maybe even a tad younger), and she's at the tail end of her 50s. She works on it less than once in a blue moon. She started with the intention of passing it onto her kids. Do you regret letting a certain guy slip away? Debatable. It's questionable if I ever would have gotten competent help without Jason leaving, and if I didn't, what if he finally had enough when we were already married with kids (that's what I wanted at the time, anyway)? That would have broken me even worse. What show did you want to be on as a kid? Whatever the Nickelodeon one was where you got slimed lol. Do you have regrets? Of course I do. Does anyone really know you? My mom and Sara, at least. What song do you want played at your wedding? It depends on my partner and songs we consider special. Are you a fan of Taylor Swift? No. I do, however, love me some "Love Story." And you are LYYYYYYINNNNNGGGG if "Picture To Burn" doesn't make you feel like a Bad Bitch. Would you ever dye your hair unicorn colors? I would DIIIIIEEEEE to do that in pastel tints. I wish my damn hair took color well... I have literally only had ONE very effective hair dyeing experience, when my friend spent hours turning it red. It stuck for MONTHS. List 3 of your pet peeves. 1.) Turning tragedy into a competition; 2.) making mental illnesses "trendy;" and 3.) elitists of pretty much anything. Do you type fast? Very. What do you like to put on your pancakes? Typically just maple syrup, but I'll put butter on them if given it at a restaurant. Have you ever accidentally drank spoiled milk? I've taken a sip and immediately realized and spat it out. Have you ever had your heart broken? More like shattered into incalcuable pieces. When you were 3, was your natural hair color the same as it is now? No, I was dirty blonde. Have you ever received a scary message from someone online? Yes, I'm pretty sure. What does your first name rhyme with? "Infamy" is close enough, ig, if we're excluding other names. Do you have freckles on your face? No. I did as a kid, though. Who is your favorite Lisa Frank character? Probably the angel kitty (I had a coloring book, even), but they're all SO pretty. I love Lisa Frank stuff. Does your family always have your back? My mom and dad do, at least. My older sister does, meanwhile it's hard to tell with my little sister. She's not very affectionate and expressive of love to the point I question a lot if she even likes me. What type of wedding do you want to have? Gothic! Are you more of a leader or a follower? A follower, within reason. I'm definitely not a blind one. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? Quite a few, actually. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, at some point. Do you have a regular vacation spot, or do you always go somewhere new? We don't really go on vacations. It's not an expense Mom can really afford. Where were you working 10 years ago? Nowhere. ... 5 years ago? Still nowhere. ... 1 year ago? Nowhere. What's the shortest amount of time you've had between relationships? Like a day. I know it sounds bad, but I left Girt already knowing I loved Sara, and I didn't really have anything to heal from. As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? We'd have Saltines, chicken noodle soup (which I never really liked), and ginger ale. What's your favorite art style? Probably hyperrealistic fantasy stuff. What time period is considered to be your country's 'golden age?' I don't know, I'm not a history buff. Have you ever done LSD? I've never done any drugs. Are any of your coworkers currently out on maternity/paternity leave? N/A What is your favorite parody movie? Maybe the Paranormal Activity one. I barely remember it, though. What kind of first impression do you hope others have of you? That I'm kind and friendly and really care about their feelings. Do you have a good sense of balance? NOOOOOOOOOO. I stray like a motherfucker when I walk. Have for many years. It's weird. What is your least favorite ice cream flavor? Strawberry, ugh. Does your car have heated seats? No. What's something that has been in your local news lately? I don't watch it. What's your favorite internet meme? Oh, I have no clue, I love memes lmao. What is the strangest pizza topping you've ever eaten? Nothing, really. I'm not very adventurous with pizza. Can you name any books or movies where all the main characters die? Not off the top of my head. Do you live alone? No, I live with my mother. What’s the grossest thing you’ve encountered in/at a fast food joint? *shrug* Do you swallow chewing gum? No. Do you ever get goosebumps while listening to songs? EXTREMELY easily. Like that is so, so regular, be it from the lyrics, the singer's voice, or just the music. Are there any amusement park rides you refuse to go on? Why? Most, really. I get dizzy way, way too easily and don't want to faint. What is the best roller coaster you’ve ever been on? I'm afraid of roller coasters, so I can't answer this. Never touched one. Don’t you think black jellybeans are icky? Ugh, YES. What was the last thing you measured with a ruler? I helped Mom use the long, flexible kind to measure the couch because she was gonna move some furniture around. What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen? Oh, I'm sure the mountains when driving to Tennessee. I was too young to remember it well, but I can never forget that I marveled over them. Would you rather have a Playstation or Xbox made console? I'm a Playstation gal. What if you were watching COPS and saw your significant other on there? I'm... not gonna lie, if it was Jason for doing something stupid and not, like, murderous, I'd probably cackle. Have you ever tried to write to any celebrities? No. When was the last time you blew bubbles? I ain't got a clue. Have you ever stumbled across a beehive? More like wasp nests. What food(s) make you cringe? Quite a lot, given my extreme selectiveness with textures. More than anything, probably egg yolk. Have you ever played an automated 20 Questions game and beat it? Ha, I actually had one of those! I have, but damn was that hard. Have you been to a restaurant where they cook the food in front of you? Yup, Ichiban. Pretty cool. Do you feel that presidential campaigns make people too competitive? I mean, no. People care about who is going to be the head of their country. Do you find Family Guy hilarious or offensive? Neither. Do you still write letters to people, even though there’s e-mail now? No. Have you ever had an accident involving a microwave? Ha, I'm a travesty of a cook, so yeah. I remember on one occasion I accidentally dialed in many minutes for popcorn and entirely forgot about it. Safe to say I didn't eat it. I've split hot dogs in there, and I'm certain there's more. Do you like the movie Forrest Gump? I adore that movie. One of the best films ever imo. Can you handle heat well? I honestly doubt you'll meet someone who handles it worse than me, especially physically. I have severe hyperhidrosis, so I will literally sweat like a pig in 70* weather. I absolutely cannot handle it. Do you smoke weed? What are your opinions on its legalization? No. Legalize it for at least medicinal purposes. Have you ever had a school shooting at your school? HA, I can promise you my high school must have at some point. Are you usually the first to do something, or are you more of a follower? I don't pay attention to this. What is your favorite way to eat a potato? Fries, yum. Are roses your favorite flower? No, but they're high on the list. Have you ever been to a horse race? No. I think they're abusive anyway. Do you like lobster? No. Have you ever swam in a lake? Yeah. There's one lake I swam in that was so clear you could see pretty far and just watch the fish and turtles. Have you ever convinced someone to show you their private parts? "Convinced"????? That's fucking coercion. I've seen people naked, but not by fucking pressure. What is the greatest treasure you have ever found? My older sister found a cracked amethyst geode once. Idk where it's at now, but I hope she (or we at the house, depending on where it is) finds it at some point, though. My niece has come to love smooth rocks and pebbles, and I think crystals would blow her away, never mind one that size. Do you eat beef? Regrettably. Are you good at card games? I mean, what's the game? I'm not exceptional at any I can think of. What is your favorite musical? I don't like musicals. Did you ever play the Oregon Trail game? Omg yes!!! I LOVED playing it as a kid, especially the 3rd one, I think? Do you watch It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia? No. Who is your favorite country singer? I actually do enjoy Tim McGraw pretty consistently, but I don't actually seek out his music. Do you know anyone who is Mormon? An old best friend was. Do you like grunge? Yeah. What’s your favorite kind of cheese? American. What’s the most historic thing that has happened in your lifetime? Most likely Covid. What’s your funniest story involving a car? It's not hilarious, but once we were behind someone whose license plate said "omw" lmao. What scientific discovery would change the course of humanity overnight if it was discovered? Well, a proven Covid vaccine. Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony? Nope. What’s the scariest non-horror movie? Idk. What’s the most amazing true story you’ve heard? I'm not sure. What’s the most awkward thing that happens to you on a regular basis? Having to explain my Mark tribute tattoo lmao. What was one of the most interesting concerts you’ve been to? I've only ever seen Alice Cooper, and while it was great, "interesting" seems like the wrong word. Where are you not welcome anymore? Probably Jason's house, at least not by him. Or Colleen's, probably. Idk how she feels about me by now. What’s the most recent show you’ve binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender w/ Sara. What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced? Paying bills. What’s the smartest thing you’ve seen an animal do? I kid you not, our first cat would look both ways twice before crossing the street across our house. (Please do not allow your cats outside.) She'd do it even more when bringing her kittens there too to hunt. Chance was truly incredible. I could really give a lot of examples of her intelligence. I also had another childhood cat (my favorite before Roman) who would respond to a certain clap pattern I'd do if Mom let me bring him inside. Wherever Charcoal was wandering, he'd come running. What’s the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? Oh, I'm sure it was RP-related stuff as a kid. What’s the longest rabbit hole you’ve been down? I'unno. What’s the saddest scene in a movie or TV series? Possible spoiler warning for a super old movie??? Probably when the main character of Old Yeller had to put the dog down because of rabies. But I cry like a bitch easily, so maybe there's something that tears me up even more or just as badly. What odd smell do you really enjoy? None that are "odd," really. What’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild? I've seen a mink once when fishing with Dad deep in the woods. What’s the best lesson you’ve learned from a work of fiction? Oh, I don't know. I'd have to think for a while & I don't feel like it. What food do you crave most often? Probably ice cream. Who in your life has the best/worst luck? I don't know about best, but my mom absolutely has the worst luck. Which apocalyptic dystopia do you think is most likely? A meteor, maybe? If you had a HUD that showed three stats about any person you looked at, what three stats would you want it to show? I'd want to know if they were criminals or just dangerous. What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen a kid do? Oh, my niece is so funny. One of the things that gave me the biggest laugh (and was most adorable) was this time I was taking family pictures for Ash at a local lake, and Aubree went running into the gazebo, span around totally like in a princess movie, and exclaimed, "It's enormous!" She is such a darling. If people could read your mind, what would they usually find? Just how bored I am, memories of Jason bc trauma, lamenting my disappointment in myself, "why is Mark so perfect," worrying about Sara, thinking of RP character developments... What celebrity would you like to meet? Mark. 100%. I would die to just thank him (if I could get words out, oof) and hug him and try not to soak his shirt in tears lmao. Do you need money to be happy? Don't bullshit me, you wouldn't be happy homeless because you can't afford a home. So to a degree, yes. What's a good idea you've had recently? Hm. What gift would you like to receive? At this current moment, Cloak's (Mark and Jacksepticeye's clothing brand) limited edition "life after death" design for a shirt. It is so fucking pretty, and I love the nature focus. What are you most excited about right now? Honestly? Getting my laptop back. I wanna play WoW lmao. What's your favorite song from a movie? Maybe uhhhhhh was "Supermassive Black Hole" actually written for Twilight? Where would you like to volunteer? I very, very badly want to volunteer to take pictures of animals up for adoption in shelters for like their social medias and stuff. I've asked like the two local places, but no bites yet. What's the last song you listened to? Metallica's cover of "Turn The Page." What's the last YouTube video you watched? I'm watching Gab Smolders play SOMA. Fantastic game.

[uno-reverse-fic]

Part 2 Chapter 5

Bakugo could feel your tiny body trembling in his hands. He could barely hear your voice, "Please..." Was all you said, over and over, lowering to a whisper, dying down with each breath. He couldn't take you with him, he couldn't do that to you, and so he stood up and began making his way towards the common area.

"Hey bro! Have you seen Surō? She's been gone for like 20 minutes." Kirshima asked Bakugo as he walked in the room. All he responded with was a glance towards his hands that had been cupped against his chest.

"Oh seriously?!" Kaminari exclaimed,

"She couldn't have waited five more minutes?!"

"Bro, she can't control it, its not even her quirk." Kirshima told him, before turning back to Bakugo,

"You found her so you can keep her I guess."

"No."

"Huh? But I thought you—"

"No." Bakugo repeated his response.

"She's terrified. I can feel her shaking, she doesn't want to stay with me. Not after what I did last time." Bakugo forced his hand towards Kirshima, who quickly took you into his own hands and slid you into his pocket. You could hear a few muffled whispers from the two of them, but you couldn’t make out much of what they were saying. Bakugo walked off a few moments later, and the second he turned the corner Kaminari began pestering Kirshima.

"C'mon dude lemme see her!"

"No. Not right now. I'm heading up to my room anyway." Kirshima didn't bother asking you first, he figured you'd probably want some alone time today. As he walked up the stairs to his dorm he slid his hand into his pocket and cradled you. His thumb rested firmly against your chest, and you were pressed into his fingers. You could feel him sit down on the bed as he pulled you out of his pocket. He held you in his hands, with his thumb still resting on your chest. He turned you over with his eyes, examining your small features. An awkward silence fell over the room, Kirshima didn't seem to notice it, but you sure as heck did. You looked around the room, impatient, and slightly flustered from the silence. You moved your hand to his thumb, and his eyes immediately lit up with wonder and awe. Sure you trusted Kirshima, but you hated when he looked at you like that. You guessed he figured out that you were uncomfortable because he snapped out of his trance,

"Oh sorry, that was awkward. Uh, do you want something to eat? I can go get some lunch." He asked, you nodded in response. He started standing up but stopped himself,

"Oh, uh. Do you want to come with me and eat downstairs or do you wanna stay up here and I can bring the food up to my room?"

"I'd rather stay here, I guess." You said, your voice timid.

"Alright, here," Kirshima set you on the bed next to him before getting up to leave,

"Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back." He told you before shutting the door and walking downstairs.

A couple minutes later a knock sounded on the door.

"Hey, hair-for-brains. Open up." You recognized that voice, it was Bakugo. The panic immediately began seeping in, and you began searching around for a good place to hide. You decided to slide in between the pillows on the bed, praying that Kirshima had locked the door on his way out. Another knock,

"Come on idiot. Open up," your heart pounded wildly in your chest. You really didn't want to go back with Bakugo, and you were 90% sure thats what he was here for. He spoke again,

"You left your sweatshirt downstairs. I don't have time to deal with your crap, I'm tired." Bakugo stood silently, outside the door for a few more minutes, and you were almost sure he had left, until he spoke again,

"I'm just gonna leave this outside the door." He said, and you finally heard his footsteps trudge away down the hall. You stayed hidden for a few more seconds in case he came back, and to let your trembling body calm down a bit.

You stepped out from behind the pillows just in time to see Kirshima open the door with the sweatshirt in his hand.

"Do you know who dropped this off?" You shook your head, you didn't want him to get worried over nothing.

"Huh. guess I'll just have to ask Kaminari if he knows. Oh, here's your lunch." He said placing a small bowl with some ramen in it next to you, before sitting down on the opposite side of the bed with is own lunch. The bowl was about 3 times your height, in length, and it reached just above your chest in height. You were ecstatic, for a couple reasons, one being you had a lot of ramen to eat, and two being you weren't going to be eating the same thing for a week straight.

"OH! Wait I almost forgot!" Kirshima said, quickly pulling a broken toothpick from his pocket.

"Its not the best, but look! Mini chopsticks!" He said handing them to you. The only problem was that each piece was about half your size, so they were a bit hard to use as chopsticks. Instead you decided that stabbing and fishing out, a noodle with one of them was a better approach. Kirshima laughed,

"Or that works too!" He said as you shoved one end of a noodle in your mouth, and looking at him with wide eyes. You bit off part of the noodle and continued eating. The two of you began talking a bit while you ate, swapping jokes and stories. Not even five minutes into the conversation and Kirshima was already snorting ramen broth up his nose with euphoria, and you had almost choked a few times while laughing.

"That all your gonna eat?" He asked after you finished, you nodded in response.

"Wow, you really don't eat much at that size do you." He mused. You looked the other way in embarrassment.

Kirshima didn't notice your change in demeanor as he grabbed the dishes and set off downstairs. About 20 minutes later he came back upstairs with a few movies in his hand.

"Hey so I know you've probably already watched a ton of movies and stuff today, but its a good way to pass the time, so I grabbed a few that I thought you'd like." He said, a nervous look crossing his face. He walked over and spread the moves out on the bed, before sitting down cross legged on the other side. There were about ten movies, most of them being Disney films, you ended up settling on one of the newer Disney movies.

"Thats funny, I was actually hoping you'd lean more towards that one." Kirshima commented, gathering up the rest of the movies and tossing them on his bedside table. He popped the CD in the side of the mini TV in front of his bed, and pushed play. He slid back onto the bed next to you, and lowered his hand down, gesturing for you to climb on.

"C'mon, I wont hurt you or anything, I just figured you'd get a better view on my shoulder or something." He reassured you. For a moment you hesitated, but eventually you climbed slowly onto the palm of his hand. You felt the force of gravity push down on you as Kirshima's hand ascended towards his shoulder. You slid off his hand, which hovered around you until you settled down next to his neck. You grew tired throughout the movie and found yourself slumped against Kirshima's neck in exhaustion by the end of the movie. You completely missed the way he tensed up with every movement you made. He decided to put another movie in, this time of his choice. He didn't want to bother you too much so carefully he stood up and replaced the CD in the movie player, all while you laid slumped against his neck. By the time the second movie was over, about three hours had passed.

Kirishima nudged you awake,

"Ok, so as much as I would love to watch movies all day, we have to do something else, I was thinking of hanging out downstairs with everyone else until dinner. Sound good?" He asked.

"Mhm." You replied tiredly. All drowsiness was quickly swept away when you felt giant fingers wrapping carefully around your body. You let out a small yelp in surprise, as Kirshima lifted you away from his shoulder and slid you into his sweatshirt pocket. You could feel his movements as he walked downstairs. Almost as if he was waiting for it Kaminari ran up to him.

“Hey bro! How’s Surō?! Is she here?! Can I see her?!” He word-vomited.

“Not right now, she’s a bit tired, and I don’t think she wants to be bombarded with questions.” Kirshima replied.

“What are you? Her personal voice box?” Kaminari quipped.

“Wha— no! I just don’t think— never mind .” Kirshima stuttered.

“Fine. Can we at least talk about memes?” Kaminari asked.

“Heck yes bro!” Kirshima enthused. The two of them sat and talked for a while, you listened to every word, and laughed along quietly with a few of the jokes. You would have loved to participate in that conversation, but just like Kirshima, you didn’t completely trust Kaminari.

“Ill be right back dude, gonna get a drink of water.” Kirshima said.

“Get one for me too!” Kaminari shouted. You felt Kirshima take his sweatshirt off, and could heater his footsteps retreating. Not even a second after he turned the corner did Kaminari quickly reach into his sweatshirt pocket and pull you out. You let out a small cry of fear, as he brought you up to his massive face.

“Woa, your so small!” He exclaimed, but his astonishment was short lived, because as soon as Kirshima walked back into the room he quickly ran over towards you.

“C’mon dude, I leave for two minutes and this is what I come back to?” Kirshima said.

“Well I figured she was probably more awake by now.” Kaminari replied.

“Whatever just give her back.”

“Aww cant I hold her for a little longer?! She’s so cute!” Kaminari pleaded

“Yea, she is, but she’s still a person.” Kirshima told him.

“I know! I’ll be careful! Its not like I’m gonna hurt her or anything.”

“Fine, but not long.” Kirshima said, giving into Kaminari’s begging. You really didn’t like the way they talked about you like you weren’t there, but it couldn’t be helped. Kaminari was careful not to hurt you, and for that you were grateful. Soon you found yourself settling closer into his hands, as the two if them talked.

Dinner came and went quickly, and soon you found yourself waiting for Kirshima to return to his dorm from showering. You heard chatter outside the door, but couldn’t make out any words or specific voices. And when Kirshima finally opened the door you caught a glimpse of Bakugo walking the other way. Kirshima took note of your tense demeanor when he picked you up.

“Oh I was just thanking him for getting my sweatshirt earlier, he told me he found out on the couch in the common area, and recognized that it was mine. Nothing to worry about.” He reassured you. He didn’t put you down until he was sure you had calmed down. A few more hours passed where the two of you talked, before the two of you finally grew tired.

“I’m gonna go to sleep now. If you need anything just wake me.” Kirshima said with a yawn. You nodded and watched as he laid down on the pillow next to you, his hand coming up to rest against your back. You tried your best to fall asleep but you were freezing, and after a few minutes you decided you couldn’t take it. You stood up and slowly stumbled over to his face, but in your tired clumsiness, you ended up tripping and falling into him.

“You good?” He asked. You steadied yourself against the bridge of his nose before stammering out an answer.

“I-I was just c-cold.”

“Oh, here.” He said, his fingers wrapping around you and pulling you downward. He pressed you into the base of his neck, and you felt the warmth flood around you.

“Geez you’re shivering, sorry bout that, guess I didn’t think you’d get so cold.” His voice vibrated and flowed through you, and soon enough you were drifting off to sleep.

————————————————————

I GOT THIS DONE ALMOST ON TIME!!! Good for me I guess. Well i broke my arm so thats why this chapter came out on Thursday instead of Wednesday. But thats fine I guess. Also!! I’m trying my best to make an update schedule!! I will try to update every 2-3 weeks on Wednesdays! With that said have a beautiful day you beautiful person.

MASTERLIST

[himbowelsh]

Well if its my brand you can hardly blame me for asking for more. Shifty/tab and the prompt stab wounds? Thanks so much :) youre a star 🌟🌟🌟

a little fall of meme can hardly hurt me now  ( accepting )

It probably says something that this isn’t the first time Tab’s gotten stabbed. Hell… it’s not the first time this year. Not the first time these past few months. Not the first time he’s gotten stabbed in that same damned shoulder.

What’s it Lieutenant Welsh likes to say? “War is hell?” No kidding.

Of course, this time he fancies it's a bit more serious than the last time. Smith gave him a good poke, and then he was done. The German soldier they found hiding under a hay bale, Nazi-issued blade in hand, was a lot more determined. He landed three solid hits — two to Tab’s shoulder, and one to his chest — before Shifty’s quick reflexes took him out.

And now… well. Tab would take the night of the bayonet over this any day.

“It’s not so bad.” Shifty’s voice is soft and low, intent in the way only he can be. Instead of looking at Tab, his dark gaze is fixed firmly on his own hands. He can’t decide which injury to put pressure on, because there are just too many; torn, he darts back and forth between them all, bearing down until the worst of the bleeding ceases. Every time Shifty presses a little harder, Tab’s ribs feel ready to give out; with each breath, a little more blood bubbles out of the wounds, soaking Shifty’s fingers bright red.

“Not bad at all.” Murmuring seems to help — Shifty, that is, even if it doesn’t do much for Tab. “They aren’t so deep... enough to draw blood, but I don’t believe they’ve hit anything vital.”

“Ah, great. Just my body. Nothing important, then.”

“Nothing you can’t recover from.” Shifty huffs, pressing hard against Tab’s shoulder. Unwillingly, a whimper escapes the wounded man; it happens too fast for Tab to help it, but he bites down on his lip a second later. No crying, idiot. Not like it really hurts, anyway… it hurt when it happened, but now everything just feels sort of distant. A numb pain, compared to the agony of actually getting stabbed. They don’t mention that part in army training — after a while, mortal injuries just become old hat. Kind of boring, really.

(Oh god, he’s stabbed in three goddamn places, he’s lost a lot of blood, oh god —)

Shifty’s gaze is on him, too sympathetic for Tab to bear. He closes his eyes instead, head hitting the wooden barn door behind him. “No medic yet? N-n sign of anybody?”

“Tab,” replies Shifty. “There could well be a marching band out there, trumpets and all, but I wouldn’t know it. Right now, I’m only worried about you.”

Any other day, those words would leave him feeling dizzy and warm all over. At the moment, he just feels — well, dizzy, definitely, but cold. The heat is leeching out of his limbs with every drop of blood, and that’s probably a bad thing… but the more the world goes blurry at the edges, the easier it is to stare at Shifty’s face. He focuses on that, on the steady presence hovering above him, rather than the increasing certainty that he’s in trouble.

He doesn’t want to die like this. It’s a horrible thought to have, one he shouldn’t even entertain, but — god, there’s so much he hasn’t done. He still has to post that letter to his Ma, and his brother just turned eighteen, he hasn’t even written… and Trigger is waiting back at base somewhere, hoping he’ll come back with a treat… how disappointed will he be if Tab doesn’t come back at all? No way. Can’t happen. He’s got to make it out of here, if only for the dog’s sake.

“If no one’s coming to get us,” he manages after a painful, silent moment, “then we’ve gotta get moving ourselves.”

It takes a second for his words to sink in. When they do, Shifty’s eyes widen. “Like this? You can’t!”

“I can.”

“Tab, you’re in no shape to —“

Tab pushes himself up, bracing himself against Shifty’s shoulder for balance. As soon as his friend’s weight lands against him, Shifty goes silent. “As long as I’ve got you,” Tab grits out, “I can do it. We can.” 

Shifty’s lips flutter as the words wash over him. Tab’s heart pounds hard, like it’s ready to burst.

“Now, come on, Shift,” he says, and hauls himself to his feet.

It’s a bad idea. Almost immediately, the world flickers out like a broken projector reel, and his legs turn to noodles under him. It takes Tab a moment to realize he hasn’t hit the ground at all. By the time it dawns on him, Shifty’s already got a firm grip, one arm around his waist as he slings Tab’s arm over his shoulders. Because it’s the most he can do at this point, Tab clings to him.

“I’ve got you,” Shifty says… and his voice is so soft, so steady, that Tab could anchor himself to it forever. It leaves him feeling… steady. As long as Shifty’s by his side, he’s not going anywhere… anywhere except back to the company, that is. Back to safety, back home. “Right, now. We’ve got to get you moving. Move with me, Tab.” Shifty takes one step forward, urging him to do the same. Somehow, Tab manages. The bright blossoms of crimson along his army greens feel uncomfortably wet, but they don’t seem to be growing much bigger. Hit nothing important, except me, Tab’s hazy mind echoes, and he could almost burst into laughter on the spot.

Instead, he walks. With Shifty setting the pace, it’s easy to follow. By the time they break out of the barn and into daylight, it feels like being reborn. The chilly Holland air wakes him up a bit. Tab inhales a deep breath, ignoring the pulse of pain in his chest.

“Just fine that you can still breathe like that. If it were your lungs punctured, you’d be having a lot more trouble.”

Shifty says this so casually that Tab can’t help stumbling. Without faltering a step, Shifty’s arm just tightens around Tab’s waist; he keeps urging him forward.

Some things, Tab would never say out loud on a good day… but today has been a very, very bad day. He’s lost enough blood to keep somebody else alive; his body’s aching, heart pounding, and with the world spinning around him as it is the only constant is Shifty. His mind wanders in a thousand directions, but somehow they all begin and end with the man beside him. And of course, Tab would never say some things out loud, but sometimes… a fella just doesn’t know when he’ll get the chance again.

“Y’know, Shift…” he declares, words half-slurred and half-coherent. “You’re somethin’ else.”

“Am I, Tab?”

“Absolutely.” Tab’s head lolls against Shifty’s shoulder, but he doesn’t stop. They keep walking — one foot after the other. “I think… you’re the bravest guy I’ve ever met.”

Shifty doesn’t reply for a long moment — so long that Tab’s not sure he hasn’t dozed off, just to wake up somewhere nicer — but when he does speak, his voice is soft, warm with what could almost be humor. “I wouldn’t say that at all,” Shifty replies. “Or… I might say the same thing, as a matter of fact, but it wouldn’t be about myself.” A pause, almost tentative. “You know who I’d say it about, Tab.”

Sure do, Tab thinks, forcing his heavy limbs to keep pressing forward. He knows. Everybody knows. Ask anyone, and they’d say the same thing. After all… how could there be any doubt in anybody’s mind that Shifty Powers is the best damn man in this company?