#that one makes me feel many emotions. I still don’t know what the overall theme would be but absolutely adding that one for sure

[squuote]

I need to learn how to build a good web weave, they look so fun and awesome to make but I don’t even know how to like. pick a good theme to go with. a new goal to conquer someday

[angelofthenight]

Children of the Corn: Yandere Alphabet

Characters Included: Isaac Chroner, Malachi Boardman, Micah, Eli Porter

(Gn!Reader)

Overall warnings: Yandere, Dark themes, Swearing, Unwanted/Non-con touching, Forced religion (only in Isaac), Murder, Unhealthy relationship, Violence, Jealousy, Social isolation, Manipulation, Possessiveness, Obsessiveness, Clinginess, Stalking, Spying, Gaslighting, Invasion of privacy, Power imbalance, Mention of sexual assault (only in Malachi), Emotional abuse, Non-con kissing, Mention of sexual dub-con (only in Micah), Brief suicide mention (only in Micah), Guiltripping, Unhealthy mind games (only in Eli), Controlling behavior, Hypersensitivity

( This was supposed to just serve as a writing exercise to get me back in the groove for another yandere book I’m still writing, but I kept going with this so I just decided to post it. )

( Also idk if the Children of the Corn fandom is either underground or so underground it’s dead but I hope like the two CotC fans on tumblr will enjoy it😭 )

Isaac

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Isaac’s main display of his love and affection is through caressing your face or cheek and cradling your head as he speaks to you. Other than that he’s not super affectionate. Although when you’re on super good behavior then verbally demonstrating his love is more common. He can be quite a devout, as if you were his religion, when it comes to you if you let him.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

It depends on the circumstances. Most of the time he’ll keep it clean and just use them as sacrifices, but making their deaths more slow. But sometimes if it’s in the heat of the moment he’ll hastily slash someone’s throat in a fit of rage depending on what they did.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

He wouldn’t abduct you but the basic equivalent to that is after all the adults have been butchered. He’s smug at heart but his attitude when he finally has you is like he won a game and you lost. He’s extremely smug and cocky about it all. But he does treat it like it’s for the best, that he’s done you a favor, as you look at him completely mortified at what he has exactly done.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Yes. He’s the only one of the four characters who forces you to join his religion, even when he knows you’re a nonbeliever, and makes you pray with him.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He doesn’t get emotionally or sentimentally vulnerable with you but he does talk you through a lot of his thoughts. He doesn’t keep very many secrets from you, if not very many then none at all, and is typically very open about his life with you. The day he would cry in your arms is the day pigs would fly.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Isaac would be very annoyed above all else. He absolutely hates when anyone, not just you, tries to lay a violent finger on him. This is one of the few times he’ll get furious with you, and it scares you out of fighting him. You’ll throw your fists at him knowing you could overpower him but then he’ll either grab onto your shirt or your throat (depending how violent you are) and scream into your face about how ungrateful you are, giving you mental whiplash due to how calm he is most of the time with you.

“How DARE you have the audacity! I am the one keeping you alive! You’re lucky I don’t throw you to the vultures to RIP OUT YOUR EYES!”

He doesn’t mean what he says when he’s angry, but you don’t know that.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

This is most certainly not a game to him but he doesn’t show much care when you try to escape since you never succeed. If you do it repeatedly then he’ll get vexed and annoyed with you, your relationship is most similar to a mother and her rebellious toddler. But overall he’ll just be disappointed and confused as to why you would want to leave such a “happy place”.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Isaac was loudly lecturing you, something about how He Who Walks Behind The Rows will not tolerate your insolence and how much you owe Him. You, at your breaking point and finally snapped, cursed and mocked his beloved god. He shoved you to your hands and knees in the dirt and forced you to pray to that very same god. Everytime you would try to lift yourself up he would slam his foot on your back, forcing you back down as he never ceased his screaming down at you. This was in front of everyone who watched in silence. Embarrassment embraced you as the public dehumanizing humiliation burned tears from your eyes.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

In his ideal future, you have finally converted to the cult and lead beside him. I think he would think he’s an exception for the “death at 19” rule due to being the giver of His word and you would get to live with him.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

It’s quite obvious when he’s jealous. If he notices you purposely standing next to someone in a close proximity or looking at specific people (for whatever reason, it doesn’t even have to be attraction), he’ll get very snappy and grumpy attitude-wise. He’ll aggressively interrogate you over it, blowing things way out of proportion and making the biggest deal out of it.

Kisses: What exactly made them fall for their darling?

Your natural purity.

Love story: How did they meet their darling? How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

When he moved to the small town at a young age, it was extremely difficult for him to make friends. He wasn’t the most pleasant person and naturally became an outcast. You were warmly friendly and was the only one to reach out to him and befriend him, being an outcast of the town yourself as you never really fit their norm. Although he was very unusual and peculiar, it only furthered your fondness of him. He went about trying to court you through creating intimate, tensioned moments with you like lingering hand touches, not elaborating on his specific compliments on you, and fleetingly caressing your cheek with his knuckles. You picked up on his signals easily and sometimes you would return them. But he started to get bolder with his moves when he started converting kids in his little religion. You started to grow distant from him after learning from him about what his religion is truly about.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not really but he is typically in a happier mood when he’s with you, the most he’s ever smiled is when he’s with you or when watching you sleep. He also goes much easier on you and everyone knows it, he’s basically a mother with her obvious favorite child or a teacher with their obvious favorite student. His favoritism annoys the crap out of Malachi.

Nemesis: Who do they consider a rival?

Kind of no one. He’s a little cocky about how he knows no one would dare take you from him, plus he socially isolates you. He’ll only seriously consider someone a rival if you yourself hint/show interest in someone else.

Obsession: Are they more obsessive or possessive?

Surprisingly, despite how manipulative he is and how much he socially isolates you, Isaac’s much more obsessive than possessive. He isn’t very verbal about it though since he doesn’t believe your bad behavior deserves his romantic words describing what he truly feels about you. He is more reserved and reclused about his worshiping obsession with you. His obsession with you is almost in a religious manner, viewing you as an earth-bound god that deserves to be their own religion. If you were your own religion, Isaac would blissfully suffer from scrupulosity. He puts you on a holy pedestal and often parallels you to religious figures, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

When it comes to your bad behavior, he’s willing to be patient for awhile but if you prove to show signs of never changing then that’s when he finally snaps at you. Just don’t push your luck with how many times he lets you off the hook without punishment when you break rules. When it comes to waiting for you to love him back, he thinks you have no choice but to eventually fall for him back. He’s willing to wait for the stockholm syndrome to kick in. And if it doesn’t, well you better start faking your love for your own sake.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Isaac is a very interesting story compared to the other characters in this list in the case of your death. Now of course he would be utterly heartbroken, probably dissociate for an hour or two, but he would then reassure that it was His will and that your death was part of His plan. He would bring you up constantly though. If the other cult members aren’t in check or aren’t doing good he would grow furious and internally panic that they were putting your death in vain.

He would never let you leave him, at least easily. He would gaslight the hell out of you and make you believe that he’s the only one keeping you safe and/or looking out for you. He’ll plant the idea in your head that the others want you dead because they know that you’re a non-believer and that Isaac is the only reason you’re still alive.

There’s a very slim chance you’d ever successfully escape. If you go through the corn, you’re either not coming out alive or ending up back where you started, as if you never left in the first place. If you stay on the road, Isaac would send almost everyone after you to bring you back. Being the leader has major perks so Isaac would lie to the others saying that He Who Walks Behind The Rows needs you alive, thus making it much easier to keep you.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

He will never feel guilt and he will never let you go, no matter how much you beg and cry.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Attachment issues and the fear of losing the one person who cared about him when the whole town was once against him (pre adult massacre). He’ll never forget that rare, angelic kindness he saw within you.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He finds it agitating and a waste of time. He doesn’t think you deserve to be comforted when you act like a baby. He’ll threaten you out of all three of those things.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He’s not as bloodthirsty or jealous, plus he’s a cult leader so that changes a lot of variables.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

One of Isaac’s biggest weaknesses is his arrogant trust in you. I say arrogant because he knows you have nowhere to go, he knows you cannot escape with the corn and the cult surrounding you. So he lets you roam around town without supervision and he also often lets you off the hook without a proper punishment after catching you disobeying him. So you can easily use all of this to your advantage. Plus he can never stay mad at you if/when he catches you. So you’re going to have to outsmart him. And not just him, but the whole cult too. As well as He Who Walks Behind The Rows depending on your escape plan. And actually, you could also use Him as a weakness against Isaac. And I’m talking about lighting that cornfield to flames.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

He doesn’t like or enjoy inflicting harm on you… but he is a slapper.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Like I said before, Isaac is secretly more on the obsessive side and unhealthily worships you as if you were a god, admiring you like you’re a fallen angel. And if you were a religion Isaac would be your passionate priest and most devoted preacher. His romancing words weren’t enough to win you over before so now he results to just manipulating and gaslighting you into loving him. He paints himself in a way of a savior and your only suitable option, asking if you’d rather be with him who only wishes for your safety and happiness or any of the others who have always thought lowly of you and are savages at heart. Sometimes you hope the others will one day find out about how much he shit talks them all and turn against him.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

He silently pined after you for a few months, resisting his attraction as much as he could, but then slowly started getting worse. He snapped after he started hearing He Who Walks Behind The Rows.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

He thinks about it sometimes, just as an option though. But he doesn’t see you ever getting so ill-mannered that you would need to be subjugated to that.

Bonus: What do others think of their relationship with their darling? Do they try to interfere or intervene?

I mean, none of them think it’s normal. But they don’t care enough to step up for you. In fact, they kinda think you’ve set yourself up for it since you two were so close pre-adult massacre. Plus you’re the most infamously nonbeliever so some of them choose to believe Isaac is just trying to convert you through intense love. Probably the closest thing they do to worrying is whisper to each other about how weird Isaac’s infatuation with you is or how unfair his soft spot for you is since he lets you off the break for multiple rule breaks.

~

Malachi

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Malachi shows his love through acts of service and protectiveness of you. He’s not physically affectionate to an intense level but he does also show his love through affectionate touches like hand holding and really always just having a hand on you whether it be on your arm or your back. He is surprisingly a big cuddler, but it’s a little too overwhelming for you as he holds onto you tightly and will not let go even if you start to struggle and ask him to loosen his grip a little.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Oh the bloodier the better. He’s very impulsive when it comes to killing someone for you so leaving behind a big mess is very common.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Like Isaac, the equivalent to abduction is the aftermath of killing the adults. He’ll be over the moon that you can finally be together without anyone trying to tear you apart. He’ll be very confused and a little sad when you appear to be the opposite but then he’ll grow to be aggravated.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying? What can I do to make you feel better? Do you just need to eat? STOP CRYING!!”

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He tries to keep it at a minimum but overall yes. That includes forcing “couples” things on you like kissing, physical affection, forcing you on dates, forcing you to tell him what he wants to hear. He would only force intercourse with you if he was not in the mood to be refused at the moment (probably got publicly scolded by Isaac earlier so he needs to do something to feel in charge).

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Surprisingly, Malachi gets very vulnerable with you. So vulnerable it gives you mental whiplash and you wonder if this was really the same boy who forced you into a relationship. He’ll get too comfortable and then he’s crying in your arms about what his life was like before the cult started. You’re almost guilted into liking him back at that very moment. But after his non-dignified crying session in your cradling arms, he’ll get up and wipe his cheeks then walk away and treat it as if it never happened to begin with. Again, mental whiplash.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He gets angry but easily overpowers you. He focuses more on keeping you down to make you stop struggling rather than attack back. He’ll wrestle you to the ground and pin your hands above your head until you stop kicking and screaming.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

He wants you to stay where he puts you and gets very angry when you flee, well, try to flee. However he’d be lying if he said he doesn’t enjoy the chase. So in a way it is kind of like a game to him. He loves that adrenaline rush during your guys’ game of cat and mouse, especially since he always wins.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

You will never experience the same fear and horror you felt when Malachi took you for the first time. You ran down the stairs of your house after hearing a string of crashes and yelling and once you made it to the living room, the sight of your parent’s with their throats slashed open as a smiling Malachi stood over their fallen bodies was shoved right in front of your very eyes. You screamed bloody murder and you took off right back up the stairs, Malachi instantly chasing after you. You just barely made it into your room and locked the door then began trying to push open your heavy window. Malachi used his bloody axe to break the lock and force himself inside your room, making it just in time as you were beginning to escape out the window. He manhandled you out of the window, all while you screamed and cried and thrashed around, and tightly dragged you kicking and screaming down the stairs.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He doesn’t intend on living past 19 due to his beliefs so his ideal future is the two of you walking into the cornfield hand to hand (if his birthday comes first then you’re joining him but if yours is first then he’s joining you. But if he had a change of heart then I think he would be the only one of the four boys who would want a family with you.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Malachi’s always been the jealous kind starting from the early stages of his growing crush on you. He would get jealous of every single person you interacted with, they were so casual and charismatic with you and you always returned it. He knew he could never be that kind of person you easily converse with. In the cult, after he finally has you, he’s most jealous of Job and Sarah (just adding more reasons as to why he wants them gone). You always seem the most content when you’re with the two little kids and he hates it. He either kills the person he’s jealous of or throws a private tantrum, it’s rare that he takes it out on you.

Kisses: What exactly made them fall for their darling?

He crushed on you at first because you were attractive, nice and funny but he fell for you after your kindness did not falter when talking to him, treating him like a normal human being.

Love story: How did they meet their darling? How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He’s had a schoolboy crush on you ever since the third grade. He never really knew how to approach you so the only way he could get your attention was by doing the stupid teasing hair pulling and nudging you roughly in the halls. As he got older he grew too shy to even do that so he just resulted to admiring from afar. At first it just started as weird but simple crush things like sniffing your hair as you walked past and staring at you. But following you in the halls turned into following you home which turned into full on stalking and spying on you.

He was scheming ways to talk to you or spend more than three seconds together. He would get tongue tied and socially awkward every time he would try to talk to you though. He would get a sudden burst of confidence and walk right up to you but once you turned around, waiting for him to say something, his jaw would go slack and not a word would come out. His eyes would naturally shift into glare without his awareness. Then he’d grunt and quickly walk away, leaving you very confused. Yeah, his approaches were that weird.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Oh my god he’s almost like a completely different person (when he’s not angry with you), it literally gives you a mindfuck. With everyone else he’s this temperamental enforcer; psychopath. But with you it’s as if a switch is flipped and he becomes his own exact opposite, soft with puppy dog eyes.

Nemesis: Who do they consider a rival?

He’s a territorial yandere and is insanely paranoid about every little thing, but he considers Isaac his arch nemesis when it comes to your heart. It’s for a very dumb reason though. He thinks Isaac wants you all for himself when in reality Isaac doesn’t care much for you, he’s aware that you are miserable and don’t reciprocate Malachi’s feelings but he doesn’t really care about your predicament.

Obsession: Are they more obsessive or possessive?

He may act more obsessive but he falls under the possessive category. He’s greedy for your attention and sometimes acts like you’re just a prize he won and not a real human being with rights and feelings. He treats others with the “finders keepers” mentality when it comes to you. He’s selfishly overprotective of you and is paranoid that everyone wants you. It’s like he’s a wild dog hogging meat all for himself.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He really does try to be patient with you but ultimately fails. He’s just never been a patient person his whole life. When he wants something he wants it within minutes.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

If you die, Malachi would not be able to move on. He will never see anyone else in the way he saw you. He would become a monster, as you were the only thing that kept him grounded. He would become much more angry and violent, and much more forceful when it comes to keeping the other cult members in line.

If you left him, Malachi would use physical force and aggression to force you to stay with him. He would also pull the toxic, “where would you go?”

If you successfully escaped, it wouldn’t be for long. He would notice your absence quickly and instantly begin the chase. If you’re still on the road, he would easily catch up to you and drag you back into town. When it comes to you, he never slows down nor wastes a mere second of time. If you made it past the road then it would take Malachi some time to find you. He would try to bring some friends to help him but Isaac would refuse, even telling Malachi to stay and forget you. But he would go against orders and still chase after you, which he eventually would since, as stated before, he is unhealthily relentless and does not slow down. So just like the Tortoise and the Hare, you would take a break while believing you’ve made it far enough unknowingly allowing Malachi to finally catch up to you.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

The closest to guilt he will get is feeling sad when you cry, that’s the closest he’ll get to feeling remorse. I think he would consider letting you go for just one fleeting second at a maximum of one time, but other than that I don’t think he ever would.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

His lonely childhood.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Like I said before, he gets sad when you do any of the listed things but the more you ignore his questions on what to do to make you feel better then he’ll grow angry and snap at you.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Even though he’s a loose cannon, with the right words he’s easier to keep under control compared to most yanderes.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Malachi’s sick love for you. He’s very paranoid about you so if you add fuel to the fire of his worries you might be able to sneak in a chance of escape. The prime example is making him so paranoid about your safety, like make him worried that some of the others have been giving you predatorial looks, and plant the idea of letting you stay in the abandoned house closest to the road by yourself… for your safety of course. You just have to make it sound like it was his idea though. So if you play your cards right you can have him wrapped around your little finger.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

He would never, like, beat you up or anything. Probably the closest thing to that was unintentionally slapping your face in a fit of rage one time. I honestly think Malachi truly does not want to physically hurt you in any way, it’s close to being a weakness. But that doesn’t include roughly grabbing onto you with an iron grip and aggressively manhandling you, resulting to light bruises on your skin.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He’s not the best at putting his emotions into words at all so you don’t really know how much he practically worships the ground you walk on. He shy’s out of telling you how much he loves you loads of times, he just wishes you could read his mind to understand that there is no one in existence that he adores more than you. Although he’s bad at expressing his feelings, he'd do anything to win you over and does indeed try everything. He experiments with a variety of love languages to try and appease you.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

He’s always been very strange and weird for you but he officially snaps as soon as all the adults are killed.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

No… well, like Isaac, he does remind himself it is an option if you prove that you’re never going to stop fighting him. Just don’t get confident in thinking he wouldn’t do it…

Bonus: What do others think of their relationship with their darling? Do they try to interfere or intervene?

People are only more concerned when you’re not with him. You keep him grounded, you keep him basically leashed so if anything they want to keep you two together. And even when they do get a little concerned with its effects they don’t dare say anything about it.

~

Micah

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Oh my god, starting off strong. Micah is the most overly affectionate out of all four boys. He shows his love in any way possible like gifts, acts of service (except his interpretation of service is murder), and quality time (except to you it's most of the time just him following you around and not leaving you alone, it’s suffocating).

He shows his love the most physically and verbally. He constantly goes into preaching frenzies about how much he loves you. Some things he says are actually poetically romantic but most of the time the way he says things and how he phrases things comes across as excruciatingly creepy and morbid, making you unbearably uncomfortable and sick to your stomach and desperately wishing he would just stop.

He outrageously smothers you in physical affection (hugging/holding you, kissing/making out, hand holding, cuddling, caressing your skin, cradling your face, standing too close to you) to the point where it’s overstimulating and claustrophobic. He won’t stop even if you’re in tears begging him to let go of you or back up a little or if you’re clearly hyperventilating.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

More than willing. He’s very passionate about killing someone in your name, more than for He Who Walks. To him, the sooner he kills the person the better. He likes giving people slow and torturous deaths.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Once again, the equivalent to abduction is the aftermath of killing the adults. The first hour after they’re all gone Micah is quite a bit manic with you. He does this long preaching rant with you about how no one can come between you now, that you are finally all his, how you’re soulmates, etc. After all of that madness you are cursed to witness and endure, he’ll act like his previous self with you again, just more touchy and obsessive, a lot more touchy and obsessive.

The closest Micah would get to mocking you is if you cry for too long.

“Come ON now darling! I am sick of your whining!”

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Yes, but Micah always likes to think that it’s not against your will. He’s so delusional that he believes that when he’s forcing something on you or you to do something, he’s just giving you a small nudge into doing something you deep down do want. Also a few things he does against your will he will do slowly and steadily throughout time, slowly leading you away from the thing he doesn’t want you to do anymore.

Micah invades your privacy a lot too. Stealing your stuff, going/looking through your things even though you’ve yelled at him to stop. He’s a major Peeping Tom as well. Less looking into your window and more not leaving the room when you tell him to when you want to change. He forces kisses on you too, with tongue. He doesn’t force sex on you though, he’s mastered seducing you into it (but it sometimes falls into dub-con).

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He’s an open book with you. In fact, sometimes he overshares a little too much. He’s one of those people who blatantly and casually trauma dumps, (he had a physically abusive father so there’s a lot to unpack with him). He’ll sometimes bring himself to tears while going on one of his long tangents about how much he loves you. Even though he’s very vulnerable with you about his emotions, he’s not always honest with you. Well, he doesn’t lie to you, he just keeps a lot of secrets from you and hides a lot of stuff from you. Overall you’re not always in the loop with his plans.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He’s confused and tired of it. He’s a bit delusional about how this all affects you and how you don’t want to be with him. He’s one of those annoying guys who babies you when you’re trying to physically hurt him, he’ll wrap his arms around you and not let go as you squirm and kick in between his hugging arms. He’ll talk over your curses toward him.

“Why are you fighting me?! We could be so happy if you would just stop fighting me!”

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

He does not consider it a game, and if it is a game he’s not having fun at all. He does not enjoy watching you try to escape. It frustrates and upsets him. When you are returned back to him you will be getting quite a loud earful about how ungrateful you are, how disappointed he is in you, why would you want to abandon him, etc.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

He sacrificed your parents right in front of you. You crumbled to your knees, sobbing hysterically, before he forced you to stand and kept a painful grip on your biceps to keep you close to him. He loudly and passionately declared his devoted love in your face as you uncontrollably bawled your eyes out. His speech sounded nothing but muffled to your overwhelmed ears but the few things that you understood him saying was, “There are no others to come between us!” and “Now say that you love me!”

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

I don’t think he really cares what the future holds just as long as you two are together with no more issues or problems. He’s so focused on making you accept him that he hasn’t given it much thought about what would happen after. But he does wish for marriage.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Oh my god, Micah’s by far the worst one of the four boys when it comes to jealousy. He gets jealous over all your interpersonal interactions. He gets jealous over the stupidest things. Why did you glance at that person over there? Why did you look to your feet when you were talking with that person? Were you flustered by them? Why were you even talking to them in the first place? You’re spacing out… are you thinking about someone else right now?! He should be the only person you think of!

He’s equally as bad when it’s the other way around. Why did that person walk past you? Did they try to smell your scent? Your sweet scent is for his nose only! Why did that person look at you? You are for Micah’s eyes only! His solution to his own jealousy is typically always murder but sometimes he’ll complain for hours to you, interrogating you over his suspicions.

Kisses: What exactly made them fall for their darling?

How nice and gentle you were with him. Sticking by him and proving that you genuinely do care about him and his feelings.

Love story: How did they meet their darling? How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

You resided in Hemingford when the Gatlin kids were moved there after their town’s mysterious tragedy. Your mom was friends with the Bed and Breakfast owner who took in Micah, so you ended up meeting him over breakfast. You’d never admit it but you had a bit of a savior complex with him, seeing him so despondent and lonely. You quickly befriended him and sooner than later, almost overnight, he returned back to normal. It was easy for his crush on you to form then evolve to him falling deep in love, becoming hopelessly lovesick. His way of pursuing you was taking fast baby steps in trying to make your friendship something more like opening up more and seeking you out to spend time with you. It was almost natural that you two ended up in a romantic relationship. Until he ruined it by his absurdly concerning behaviors.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Yes. With the cult he’s intuitive, self-composed, assertive, and has no time for shit. But when he’s with you it’s like he loses his dignity. He loses his self-restraints and becomes perverse. But thankfully he’s not like that all the time, the other times he’s relatively calm and acts more like a casually normal boyfriend.

Nemesis: Who do they consider a rival?

Anyone who looks at you. I’m not kidding. Micah can’t even stand the sight of you merely standing next to someone else, can’t even stomach the thought that others share air with you. He has that mindset where only he can look at you, only he can talk to you, only he can think about you. And he is absolutely the only one who can touch you or go near you. He wants you all to himself. Absolutely no one on the planet can have you and he would rather set fire to the beloved cornfield than share you with anyone. But specifically, he sees adults as the biggest threat. There’s always an adult trying to come between you and separate you for your sake. Just another reason as to why he needs to get rid of all them.

Obsession: Are they more obsessive or possessive?

Micah is by far the most obsessive of all four boys. He is needy, bigoted, fervid, and so delusional that it’s erotomania. He is so unhealthily obsessed with you and hyper fixated on you that his overwhelming attraction to you is practically his whole personality. His obsession with you is compulsive and he has lost any control over it, happily just accepting it. You preoccupy his mind intrusively to a troubling extent and he’s addicted to every little thing about you: the thought of you, the sight of you, the smell of you, the taste of you, everything about you. He is so obsessed with you that it sometimes brings him to tears; he is utterly lovesick. He really needs to see a doctor.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He’s surprisingly very patient with you. It typically benefits him in the end. Like when he waits for you to finish your tantrum and now all your energy is drained, then he gets to cuddle you without you struggling against him and trying to push him away. His patience is almost like a manipulation tactic in a way. And since he’s so delusional, he’s convinced that you do love him deep down but you’re just in denial.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

If you die, Micah would be a tragically heartbroken mess. Bawling his eyes out while hopelessly clinging onto your limp body. He would never move on. In fact, he would find a way to resurrect you since this is the Children of the Corn universe. I think he would make a deal with He Who Walks Behind The Rows, your soul in exchange for a whole sacrificed town. Either that or he will off himself.

Micah would never allow you to leave him. You would tell him your reasons for wanting to end the relationship and he would guilt trip the hell out of you and go on this long ass rant consisting of the lines “am I not good enough for you?”, “I cannot breathe without you, do you wish me to die?”, “I’ve given you everything that I could, and it’s still not enough for you”, “after everything I’ve been through, don’t I deserve to be happy too?!”. Even when you don’t consider him your boyfriend anymore, that won’t matter to him at all. His behaviors would not change and he will act the same exact way he did when you were together, except maybe a little worse.

If you somehow successfully escaped, Micah would never move on. He is obsessed. He would hunt you down and would never, ever stop. He would track you down for years on end if he had to. With the corn and the cult on his side, it wouldn’t be a surprise if you were eventually caught and dragged right back to where you started, back in Micah’s arms.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

His guilt is barely at the minimum. Even though he’s insanely delusional, he’s not blind or stupid. He does indeed notice how unhappy you are and always tries to make you feel better, unknowingly making it worse. But he’s never considered or thought about freeing you from the thing that’s making you miserable, himself.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

When he was abused by his father he always thought that the world was saving him something amazing in the future after all of the pain and suffering. He was always a little too obsessed with that concept, clinging to it through every beating. And He Who Walks possessing a part of him also prompted this side of him even more.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Micah hates it and feels like it’s a personal attack. When you scream or cry he’ll get super close to you, so close that you panic and feel claustrophobic/suffocated which makes you cry even more, and try to hold you as an attempt to make you feel better. He just makes it worse though but he’s oblivious to that fact. If you isolate yourself from him that’s when he’ll grow angry and manic, screaming at you and going on a long, loud tangent preach about how you’re meant to be together.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Not that I can really think of other than that he exposes his calm/normal side of himself to you more than most yanderes.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

With the right choice of words you can exploit his abusive past with his father. You have to use the right words though, like be very careful with your wording. So it really just depends on how manipulative you can or are willing to be. Your freedom depends on it.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

He doesn’t like hurting you at all, but he has given you a few slaps across the face while claiming that you forced his hand.

“Look at what you made me do!”

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He fanatically adores you, like he is physically on his knees worshiping you, worshiping every inch of your skin. He would go to extreme lengths to win you over, from murder to straight up begging.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

He pines for a couple of days, maybe a little over a week, before he starts getting creepy and weird with you. He officially snaps when you try to leave him.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Never. He doesn’t even consider it an option but he sometimes threatens it against you to scare you into doing something. But he would never do it. Why would he drain the personality he’s unhealthily obsessed with? He’s too convinced (and delusional) that you will someday return his love.

Bonus: What do others think of their relationship with their darling? Do they try to interfere or intervene?

Before you were exposed to or aware of Micah’s true intentions with you, you were quite defensive when people would question your relationship. Most of the adults in Hemingford that didn’t trust the Gatlin kids tried to urge you to stay away from their crowd or that you shouldn’t be hanging around Micah. You would angrily argue in Micah’s defense that he’s been through a lot and they should leave him alone. You heavily regret ignoring their warnings as now none of them are left alive to save you now. And all of the cult kids don’t care about Micah’s intense infatuation with you, only wanting you to join them.

~

Eli

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Eli’s love language is really just quality time. Before he revealed his true colors and just put up the innocent and charming facade, he showed his affection verbally about what he felt for you through words that made you swoon and flustered. But once the act dropped he only used those romancing words to mock you or emotionally manipulate you. His love is really only shown through his clinginess and how he refuses to be away from you.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Very willing. He’s meticulous when it comes to getting rid of someone and plans out each and every death, making sure each one gets their deserved pain. He does most of his killings behind your back but certainly does not keep it as a secret, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t up to slaughter someone in front of you.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Unlike the first three boys, Eli is the only one to actually abduct you. But it’s not like you’re held captive in a basement, you can still roam wherever you want but you just have to basically be Eli’s shadow or him be yours. He won’t bother putting up the soft and charming act anymore so you’re just now more exposed to how much of an evil asshole he can be. He only mocks you if you try to escape.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Of course. He really thinks he doesn’t need your permission or approval to do anything. But specifically he forces you into assisting him in his immoral plans.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He’s a little nightmare. He’s always keeping you on your toes and can never guess how he’s feeling or what he’s thinking. You can only get a close to accurate guess to his thoughts or feelings if you do or say something that catches him off guard. So if you couldn’t already tell, he doesn’t get very vulnerable with you. He sees it as a sign of weakness and he’ll never lower himself to that level. He’s smug and arrogant and likes playing mind games with you to keep you off the scent of his secret thoughts/feelings. Or he just wants you to figure him out all on your own. Like he makes you play detective just to find out about his past. It’s exhausting.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

It’s where he gets some of his entertainment. He knows there is no possible chance of you overpowering him so he finds it cutely pathetic when you try to. He’ll catch your punches and attempted slaps and laugh. He loves how fiesty you are and how you scream at him to let you go and how you wished he would drop dead, you’re so cute when you’re mad and fearful.

He especially loves it when you bring weapons into it. You’re so sure that you’re going to kill him that he can’t help but encourage you.

“Alright then. Come over here and stab me in my chest. Defeat me and end all your suffering. I’m the source of all your problems so go ahead.”

You’re absolutely mortified when you learn through experience that he cannot be killed.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Eli loves games. And your little pathetic attempts of escape are one of his favorites. He finds it cute how naive and hopeful you are. Trying to escape from him is like walking through a haunted house. First he’s right behind you, then he’s gone, then you see his shadow on the far wall, then he’s jumping out at you, and you can swear his voice and shadow are on two opposite sides of the hall. He jumpscares you and loves giving you mini heart attacks. It’s going to be so bad you’re going to wish you never tried to escape in the first place. He also likes playing mind games with you, making you think you have a chance then takes it away when you’re a hair away from it. Like you’re about to open the door to make a run for it, into the public, and he’ll appear and be smug and cocky.

“Go ahead, open the door. Escape your living nightmare once and for all.”

You’ll open the door and boom he’s on the other side of it. And lastly, he fucks with your mind and makes you hallucinate that you did escape just to break it and reveal that you never left.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

It was the first time you were truly exposed to what Eli was capable of. It was when you became fully aware of Eli’s massacre plan and you got into a huge fight. Naively believing that the little cornfield he grew in the abandoned warehouse was the main source of his powers, you grabbed garden shears and ran over to cut it all down. You heard Eli slowly and calmly approach you from behind and once you turned to look at him he roughly shoved you into the center of the garden. Once you hit the dirt and stood back up you had realized you were in an entirely different place, a massive sized cornfield. You walked for hours as Eli tormented you. You would hear his laugh right by your ear but he was nowhere near you, corpses reached from the dirt to try and grab your legs, and it was as if the corn was alive and closing in on you as well as grabbing onto you temporarily. The third time you broke down while crying out for Eli and begging for his forgiveness and how you swore you would never go against him again, is when Eli finally appeared and took you in his arms and magically pulled you out of the cornfield and back to the warehouse. You clung onto him while sobbing before glancing up to see him sinisterly smirking down at you. It was then you finally felt the true fear of what Eli was.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Although he adores your little game of cat and mouse and how much you struggle and fight, in his ideal future he does want you to eventually love him back so that the two of you can live your immortal lives happily in love in a world of no adults. You’d probably live back in Gatlin surrounded by corn.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Eli’s clingy a ridiculous amount, as well as possessive, and wants you all to himself so jealousy is a frequent thing for him. He’s like a toddler with their favorite toy; insanely greedy, won’t let anyone touch it, “no it’s mine, mine, mine!”. He just gets so mad that you’re more happy with others than with him and seem to enjoy their company more than his. What do they have that Eli doesn’t?! They’re pathetic and weak! Even though the rage burns like hellfire inside him, he goes about it calmly. You two will either be sitting next to each other in silence or be back to back in bed at night and his typical smugness will drop, coldly bringing up how he forbids you from talking to the person. He acts just like a scorned wife. But later he’ll kill that very same person, just to be sure the two of you can never interact again.

Kisses: What exactly made them fall for their darling?

Your care about the earth you live on.

Love story: How did they meet their darling? How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

His adopted “mother” and his brother encouraged him to join a club to make some friends. The only club he was interested in was the gardening club. You were its only member. Not many city kids cared about gardening but that just gave the two of you more alone, one on one, time. At first, he originally planned to only use you for your garden to grow more of his brainwashing corn but the more you spent time together the more interested and attached to you he was. When he accepted that he was more than attracted to you, that's when he started to make moves on you. It was all quite casual as he just used his natural charm and did subtle flirting, and sooner than later you were caught in his web.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

You’re envious of others who don’t know what he’s really like. With others he puts up this innocent, ingenuous, charming act (the same act he used to woo you and lure you in). Sometimes he’ll pretend to be like that with you but majority of the time you’re exposed to how cruel and wicked he truly is.

Nemesis: Who do they consider a rival?

Eli is overly possessive, ridiculously jealous, and unbearably clingy. So he’ll see basically anyone as a rival if they get too close to you or look at you for too long. Especially every single one of your friends. Also anyone who poses a threat to your relationship with the intention of splitting the two of you up for your safety; teachers, social workers, friends, family, that damn priest. But he shuts it down before those people become a problem.

Obsession: Are they more obsessive or possessive?

He is wildly possessive. He is excessively clingy and wants you all for himself, your attention needs to always be on him and he’s a total brat when it’s not. He’s proprietorial, controlling, and eliminates anyone who poses a threat in separating you two. He owns you and acts like you are his territory.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He has all the time in the world so you are very lucky that he isn’t impatient.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

If you died, Eli’s resurrecting you somehow. I don’t believe he even wants to think about what he would do if you died. Since he’s immortal, he’s aware that age would slowly take you from him so he would find a way to make you immortal as well (even if you’re begging him not to do it).

If you left him, he wouldn’t worry all that much or even beg you to willingly stay like the others would. He would use emotional manipulation to guilt trip you into staying. And if that doesn’t work then he would simply work his demon magic and scare you right back into his arms. He doesn’t care that he’s using fear to keep you with him.

It would be extremely hard to escape Eli, and even harder to stay escaped from him. I actually think it’d be impossible due to the fact he’s a literal demon. So no matter where you go, where you hide, how long you run, Eli will always catch up to you and will always find you. So in hindsight, there is no escaping Eli. I'm truly sorry for you.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No to both. It’s never even crossed his mind.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Being an independent demon for so long and not knowing how to deal with romantic emotions.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He finds it all quite funny.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Even though he’s extremely clingy, he’s not very touchy and gives less than the average-yandere amount of physical affection, he’s not even that big of a hand holder (but this is all kind of a plus for you since you don’t have to worry about non-consensual touching or forcing affection with you). He’s content with just being near you and having you always by his side.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

I think the only thing you could ever use against him is his Bible. Unless you suck up to him enough to make him slip out a secret weakness, it will take awhile though. But it’s mostly his bible, he doesn’t even like you looking at it which just makes you more suspicious of why he’s so defensive about it.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

He doesn’t need to. He uses fear to control you and all he has to do is use his mind powers to shake your surroundings to scare you into obeying. His touches are nothing but soft and gentle.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He admires you more than he worships you. His worship is closer to how a scientist would obsessively study an animal, dedicating their life to observing it. He truly thinks you’re the most fascinating, interesting human. He doesn’t really bother with actively trying to win you over, you are his now because he said so and he does not care if you don’t feel the same.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Like Micah, he snaps when you try to leave him.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Nah. He likes how human you are, how fragile and sensitive and reactive you are. It’s entertaining to him and he knows you’re enough to keep him entertained for centuries. He knows that you’ll grow to love him, you’re stuck with him for eternity after all. And if you really never don’t… well then that’s just gonna suck for you.

Bonus: What do others think of their relationship with their darling? Do they try to interfere or intervene?

The bystanders feel bad for you. Those who haven’t had enough interactions with Eli and only see his sweet and charming act can still see as clear as glass that you are not happy in the relationship, or as happy as you should be, which makes them grow to be suspicious of what Eli is like behind closed doors. And those who are already suspicious of Eli are confused as to why you’re around him so much but after awhile of noticing how fast your smile drops when Eli’s not looking is when they would try to subtly put space between you. Eli always notices right away, being so clingy that he’s sensitive to even being in a different room than you, and always makes sure those people don’t try that ever again. People would reach out to you privately but you would assure them you’re fine and end the conversation quickly out of fear of what Eli would do to either of you if he found out about your exchange.

[alloveydovey]

Hellooooo, dramas from this past month :) I had a lot of fun watching most of these, which hadn't been happening lately.

The Story of Park’s Marriage Contract, 2023 (kdrama) 7.5/8

A woman from the past travels to the future where she meets a man who resembles her deceased husband. In need of a wife, he strikes a contract with her, and blah blah blah, you know what happens next.

The chemistry was there 100%, the comedy too, but overall, I think it was just a mid watch for me. I was three episodes away from finishing but was struggling big time because I was getting bored.

The Romance of Tiger and Rose, 2020 (cdrama) 8

A scriptwriter ends up inside her own creation as a side character who dies early on in the drama and has a really bad reputation.

This was hilarious. Laughing out loud alone type of hilarious. It didn't make any sense at all, and it was extremely silly and sometimes even frustrating, but both actors were so great with the comedy (Zhao Lusi the actress that you are), so everything was just fun and romantic and cute... and weird enough, emotional af as well. I love these types of dramas where, after watching, you kinda feel empty inside lol. Comfort drama material? 100%

My Demon, 2023/24 (kdrama) 8

A demon becomes powerless after crossing paths with a cold heiress (who he obviously knew in their, guess what? Yes, past lives)

Kim Yoo Jung and Song Kang (his character is everything) were so cute in this! Their chemistry was definitely chemistring. I loved the concept and all, but for some reason, I couldn’t put my whole heart into this drama, which resulted in me being a bit disappointed. I’d get bored sometimes. I still don’t know if it’s my problem though. Maybe it wasn't the right time to watch it since I had been watching so many dramas with similar storylines. I’ll give them this, though, these two were truly a comedic duo™️

My Man is Cupid, 2023/24 (kdrama) 8

A love fairy accidentally shoots himself with an arrow and ends up in love with a human, condemning him and his group of cupids to 500 years on Earth. In modern day, he gets entangled with a veterinarian who might be connected to what happened in the past. Also! Murder mystery.

This one just goes to prove that liking a drama is all about vibes for me. Is this different from what I’ve been watching? Nope. It’s not better than the other ones above with similar premises. Yet somehow, unlike the others, it got my attention way more, and I totally binged it. Even when this particular one had some very confusing, probably so-so writing, moments. Granted, it has Nana in it. Nana makes everything worth it (Jang Dong Yoon was cute as well lol).

My Girlfriend is a Gumiho, 2010 (kdrama) (rewatch!) 7.5 ⭐️

A cute gumiho saves an irresponsible rich kid who wants to become an action star by giving him her bead. Both of them gotta stick together while he heals.

Like I said back when I first saw this, COMFORT!! And I was in the mood for something silly and sweet after the same themes over and over again. I can't get over how cute Shin Min A and Lee Seung Gi are in this.

Falling Into You, 2022 (cdrama) 9

A student-athlete wants to do high jump but doesn't have the required height for the sport, so a postgraduate student-coach decides to take him under her wing and train him. Noona love story ensues.

So... I have a lot of mixed feelings about it because, all in all, I think this is one of the best cdramas I've watched. It's beautifully shot, the music is incredible, and the pacing, story, characters, and acting are all impeccable. Aside from Meet Yourself (fav ever) it's truly one of the most naturally acted cdramas I've seen so far as well. Even outside the romance part, everything was really good.

Now, was it inappropriate? For me, at least, I think it was. This young student is supposed to be 20, and his coach is said to be about to turn 28. They are both consenting adults (let's put it that way), but the power dynamics thing is still there. Overall, it was a nice surprise, and I completely binged it.

Welcome to Samdal-ri, 2023/24 (kdrama) 9

After a scandal, a famous photographer runs back to her hometown. Her ex, with whom she had an intense fallout (childhood friends to lovers), is there, and it seems like neither of them has moved on. (Also about family, and grief)

From the moment I saw Shin Hye Sun and Ji Chang Wook's pictures next to one another on a tweet saying they were going to be in a new drama together, I knew this was going to be a 10/10 in my books. Maximized joint slay. Add the hometown cha cha cha vibes, and you have an amazing tear-jerker drama. The rest of the cast is a great complement as well; their acting and their stories just make everything really emotional (I cried a lot lol), but it is 100% worth the watch. I'll be honest about one thing, though. As much as I loved it, it took me a while to finish the last two episodes cause I feel like they dragged the story a bit.

Princess Hours/Goong, 2006 (kdrama) 8

In a reimagined modern SK, a girl from an ordinary family gets hitched to the crown prince because of a promise both of their grandparents made in the past. A Diana x Charles x Camilla drama ensues (but like, with a happy ending).

This is what I like to call DRAMA™️. The type you hate everyone's behaviors, and you laugh, and you hate the ML, but you also want him to get with the FL, and you start hate watching, and then you giggle when they share moments and completely forget ML is a really shitty person lol. I started this cause I got sick, and I got way into it. ML being a major asshole and the FL having no self-respect (like the good old dramas and telenovelas) aside, I enjoyed binging this, and I can see why it was so popular. Their romance, though deeply flawed and a product of the time the drama was made, had some great moments, slow burn and natural as well. I was lowkey hoping for a happier ending, tho, but it was cute enough. Also, music bro, that main song is never getting out of my head. Comfort drama material: 100%

Playful Kiss, 2010 (kdrama) 5

FL confesses to ML, and he rejects her harshly. When her house collapses, her father moves them in with an old friend, who ends up being ML's father.

So after Goong, I thought I'd probably be able to watch this. Wrong. Shin's got nothing wrong in comparison so Seung Jo. Seung Jo is probably my most disliked ML ever lol. I binged this, hoping it'd get better, or just like Shin in Goong, he'd change a bit after getting together with FL. But nope, he remained an asshole throughout the whole thing. Gotta love that consistency. Comfort drama material: 1% (I saw the comments on Viki, and I don't know how people rewatched this, lol.)

[come-chaos]

Post-LOTR Marathon Thoughts

I saw LOTR EE in the cinema today. It was my first LOTR marathon ever, as well as my first time seeing FOTR in the cinema. Despite having spent a decade of my life as a devout Tolkienist and LOTR/Hobbit fan before I shifted focus to other fandoms, it was also the first time in several years that I watched a LOTR movie at all. Naturally, I was very curious about what my own reaction would be.

What follows is my attempt at summarising some of my impressions before I forget them.

Best movie: My favourite always used to be ROTK, and it’s still by far the movie that makes me the most emotional, but I can finally say that FOTR is a better movie. Everything about it is simply magical. From start to finish, it introduces the most incredible range of settings and concepts and people. Visually, I believe it has a far richer colour palette than the others. I also get the impression that it has many more subtle references to the book than the other movies do.

Best overall: The soundtrack. I have a pet peeve when it comes to singing in movies – I hate it when a movie makes no effort to convince me that the character is actually singing. It’s surprisingly common for movies to combine the most half-arsed lip sync possible with a blatantly obvious studio production that often features a ginormous and rather glittery reverb regardless of what room the scene is set in. I’ve always upheld LOTR as an example of characters singing being done well, and Eowyn’s dirge being my favourite example in particular, but this time I noticed something new about it. Something really cool. When the camera changes angle, or when an object passes in front of the camera, the acoustics of Eowyn’s voice also change. Absolutely marvellous sound mixing.

If I could change one scene: I don’t know whether I’ve matured as a movie watcher or if I’ve just gained a healthier perspective on the whole book vs movie debate, but I found myself having nearly zero issues with the ways in which the movies differ from the book, which came as a surprise to me. I even found myself thinking that several changes were, in fact, for the better – I could see now that the story really did benefit from being adapted to the medium, instead of following the book to the letter. Don’t get me wrong – I would have preferred a Gimli who isn’t the butt of every other joke, a Legolas who’s less into surfing, and a Haldir who heads to the Havens without passing Helm’s Deep. But all of that is forgivable. If I could change one scene, I’d remove the Paths of the Dead skull avalanche. As far as I’m concerned, it’s pointless, it’s not a reference to anything, the sheer number of skulls makes absolutely no sense, and if anything, it gives the entire dead army plotline even more of a Pirates of the Caribbean feel. Speaking of, I’ve always assumed POTC is the reason why the army had to be a sickly neon green instead of the more conservative ghostly grey – the latter was already taken. The green honestly never stopped annoying me, so if I could change one thing in addition to removing the skull avalanche, I’d drastically lower the saturation of the entire Army of the Dead.

Miscellaneous thoughts: Something that struck me several times during this marathon was how much I’m still in love with the overall plot and with so many of the themes. I love the characters – including Boromir, whom I discovered is far more compelling to me now than he was in the past. I love that even those with the best of intentions may struggle to do good. I love that Bilbo’s choice to show Gollum mercy made him less susceptible to the Ring throughout his whole life, whereas Sméagol’s corruption was facilitated by his murder of Déagol. I love that Sam’s love for Frodo is everything. I wasn’t prepared for the burden of the Ring to remind me so much of the struggle of living with a mental illness, which I’m going to guess is a result of my metacognition having improved considerably since I last saw the movies.

Moment that made my heart pound so hard it hurt: The Ride of the Rohirrim.

Moments that made me the most emotional: Absolutely no surprises here. In second place, as usual, came “You bow to no one”, while Frodo’s farewell at the Havens came in first place, as always.

[noddytheornithopod]

So I have seen through to the end of Master Detective Archives: Rain Code, so time to post random spoilery thoughts

First of all... I quickly figured out the Homunculi twist. Especially when I saw the meat buns being made. I did jokingly suggest weeks ago maybe they’re made of Homunculi or something... I just got who is eating who wrong. Now if you’ll excuse me, if I see anywhere offering meat buns, it’s gonna be a while before I feel okay trying them.

I also had a feeling Makoto was running this totalitarian city to protect the Homunculi. Interesting that even while many of the cases don’t have more sympathetic culprits, we actually have our central antagonist be someone with sympathetic motives.

This is of course a spiritual successor to Danganronpa, but it especially follows up on V3′s themes, so it’s even more a spiritual successor to that game specifically. V3 ended on a more ambiguous and existential note, but probably because the stuff they were dealing with in that climax was more abstract and well less applicable to real life. I do kind of prefer that still, but I do like what Rain Code ended up doing even if comes to a somewhat different conclusion to V3 (truth being more subjective/the idea of emotional truth vs there’s one truth even if it sucks and we just have to choose how to face it, again I think the difference comes down to V3 exploring the idea of fiction itself and why we tell and care about stories, so different scenarios). Still, wonder if this is Kodaka just exploring different ideas, or if there’s an evolution in his thinking going on here.

Oh yeah, speaking of Danganronpa, the pink blood aesthetic choice becomes an actual plot point cuz that’s now Homunculi blood. I have a feeling there’s already lots of wild crack theories about how the Danganronpa universe is now populated with Homunculi or something, lol. That being said, it could be a fancy way for Team Danganronpa to keep making a cast for more seasons... okay okay stop Noddy

When the other Master Detectives died, I thought it was pretty anticlimactic. It was a relief to see they were alive not just because I wanted them to be (even resident fuckboy Desuhiko), but because if they just unceremoniously died offscreen like that, it would’ve been extremely underwhelming (seriously, at least Halara would’ve made it out, there weren’t THAT many Homunculi in one place, Makoto :v).

I’m really happy we ended with a nonviolent solution - reaping the souls of murderers was no fun and clearly took a toll on Yuma. I’m sure some people are gonna be rolling their eyes because IDK Steven Universe made them allergic to villain redemption stories (also Steven Universe is one of the best cartoons in recent memory and its unique take on justice is a positive, shut up don’t @ me). I’ll still need to think about how this progressed overall and if Yuma could’ve been challenged even more, but I like that it ends with Yuma deciding “no I’m going to spare you because you helping everyone will benefit more”, and IDK he probably also empathises with Makoto cuz y’know he’s basically a clone of him so he understands how he thinks.

Not surprised Makoto was a Homunculus, nor was I at the Yuma connection, but I didn’t quite expect Yuma being Number One. Like, it’s not THAT surprising when you think about it, but it’s not something I was actively thinking about, especially since well... look at him! He’s a fucking baby! How is HE in charge of the world’s most important detective organisation??? Look I know he’s actually like 19 or some shit and character design means fuck all for ages in these Spike Chunsoft/Too Kyo games but you certainly could’ve fooled me.

I felt more with Shinigami than I expected, especially when they said goodbye. Like, it actually makes me see their previous interactions differently. Was Shinigami this rough and rude all the time just so that she wouldn’t let Yuma be attached to her, and thus making vice versa unlikely? Was she TRYING to be unlikeable just so that when the time came for their pact to end (and well it has to, he was using her to solve the big mystery), saying goodbye would be easier? Also to actually see some growth from her too surprised me, always insisting he should learn to be self reliant and stuff (obviously not noticing the hypocrisy lol) but then realising Yuma’s strength was that he could trust others and work with them (and like, that’s the whole point of the coalescence Forte, it’s that trait manifested into an actual ability). I had a feeling the game was going here along with its truth vs lies thing, but it’s nice to be vindicated.

I think there’s certainly stuff to analyse from a socio-political aspect too. I will say that it is kinda bullshit to say there’s objectively a smartest human, and all the weird eugenics-y stuff that came from that (though let’s be real, the Unified Government and Amaterasu might as well be doing eugenics, trying to find “ideal” specimens to grow Homunculi from). Okay, that aside, so the idea for creating immortal humanoids was... for military purposes. Yeah, seeing how much governments would rather invest in the military industrial complex than helping people, that tracks. I do wonder if there’s any influence from Japanese issues too, because I am aware that the Japanese government has been militarising more over the past years despite appearing “pacifist”. I also am sure one could find allegories with Homunculi, like they definitely feel like they would’ve just been eliminated in whatever way they could if Makoto didn’t intervene and blackmail the government. But the idea of a bunch of what might as well be sick/diseased people waking up after a massive disaster... part of me wonders if there’s any Hiroshima/Nagasaki bombing parallels that could be drawn. I don’t know enough about what happened to make any solid comments, but I do wonder if there’s something here, or allegories one could draw to anything else. Also yes yes of course we still technically have Amaterasu Corp in charge and yes okay Makoto did change but the anarchist in me is still kind of shaking my fist that they’re still run by a corporation lol. At least there’s referendums now so maybe they’re slowly trying to break it down and decentralise it? That’s just wishful thinking though, I have no clue what the politics of the people at Too Kyo and Spike Chunsoft are, lol.

So there’s probably gonna be more in this series, I wonder if we’ll follow a different detective in each entry? I think it would be tiring for Yuma to keep making pacts with Shinigami and then forgetting her after each game, lol.

This might be recency bias but I got serious Star Wars Rebels vibes from the end. Yuma fucking disappearing on everyone, and the girl close to him going “I’m gonna find him someday” and going on a big journey to do that? Yeah. All we need is IDK a Danganronpa character popping up to fill in the Ahsoka role (though honestly I’d prefer the universes be separate for now, I’m just joking around). :P

Okay so we’ve figured out stuff like how Homunculi can eat without needing to consume human flesh (yay for not just excessively executing criminals), but what about all the “dead” ones? Are we going to figure out a solution for them so they don’t stay in that zombie state forever? They’re basically immortal because even after “dying” the artificial cells regenerate into something technically alive. Look, if they’ve made skin cream to protect them from that deadly UV radiation, they might eventually find something too.

Also are they functionally immortal? Like, I think they said they don’t age because they look as when the DNA was taken, but what about all the kids and stuff? Do they ever grow up? Do those girls in that cutthroat all girls high school (which is now hopefully less cutthroat now they’re not isolated and don’t need to carry the entertainment industry in Kanai Ward lol) have to go there forever? I guess they can graduate, but what if you’re eternally a teenager? Do they just stop growing once they reach maturity like humans? I have too many questions.

Can Homunculi reproduce? What happens when they get busy? What if say Kurumi and Yuma decide to settle down one day assuming all goes well, what happens if a human and a homunculi want kids? Can half-homunculi exist? I’m asking too many questions, lol.

Anyway, had a blast checking this out. I don’t think it will ever be what Danganronpa was for me, those games got into a really unique part of me, but overall I did like most of what we got here. Now if only they’d release it on more than the goddamn Switch...

More thoughts post OP:

So the humanoid race who fears the Sun and risks going berserk reminds me of what I’ve heard about I am Legend/The Omega Man, especially the idea of treating the supposed monsters as sympathetic and having humanity too? Would track for Kodaka and all his pop culture references.

I also like the implicit commentary on the prison systems. Like taking criminals and turning them into food? Yeah, I bet the prison industrial complex would try that if they could get away with it. :V Resident fascist Yomi is of course the embodiment of the Law and Order criminal punishment ideas. But yeah, stuff like Yuma deciding not to just reap Makoto’s soul, the guilt of reaping the murderer’s souls in general, etc does track because I think even Danganronpa has themes like this when you think about it, with Monokuma’s eye for an eye mentality. But yeah, even with endings where people seem to be more cooperative with society, and are trying to rehabilitate or redeem people seems to be a thing here, not just with Makoto but Martina too. Granted, it seems the Peacekeepers still exist from what I can tell, but whatever, you can’t win them all. :v

Once again gotta love how in the end despite all the crude humour and edginess, Kodaka at his heart is a sentimental softie in his work, lol.

There’s a lot of angst you could do with Homunculi killing their human counterparts, eg Kurumi killing her grandfather. On a similar note, sequel idea if they go there: survivors of The Blank Week Incident who escaped Kanai Ward who are convinced Homunculi are dangerous and want to eliminate them, even thinking they “stole” their lives? Maybe even reveal Kurumi’s grandfather survived, he wouldn’t have to face his duplicate so that dilemma would be gone, but the dilemma of facing his granddaughter who thinks and feels exactly as she did her human progenitor but also isn’t and possibly killed her?

So Makoto taking over Amaterasu... good intentions to try and save everyone, but even if it focuses more on the whole creating mysteries aspect at least in the dialogue, there’s something to be said in what a monster he became in the name of these good things. Almost like you can’t just elect the right people to fix what is already a system designed to screw us over, hmm... yeah, see this is why I wish something more radical happened to Amaterasu at the end, lol. The seeds for it are there! Also him saying he’d be fine with Yomi’s totalitarianism as long as he didn’t try to expose Homunculi to other researchers and thus the outside world? I didn’t think about it much initially because I was more focused on how despite everything he did it all started from a good place, but damn, he really did get fucked up. Being afraid and alone is one massive bitch.

[kawaiioni]

Hello! ^^ I’m not sure if you remember me reblogging one of your LOP pieces and you had been so kind to read my tags and ask for my thoughts after completing the game! And didn’t know how you would be comfy in me sending you my thoughts, so I figured I would do it through an ask! <:)

I finished the game a couple days ago and I’m still reeling from the experience😭 I never thought I could find the courage to play, much less beat a soulslike game, and to know that I actually accomplished that, and with a game that feels as special as LOP makes me so emotional and feels so bittersweet!🥺

Rambles aside I absolutely adore the art direction, themes, and play style of the game! As someone who loves music and the impact it can play in the tone and experience of anything, seeing the emphasis on music just made me so happy! And the characters? Literally so so invested and I want nothing but the best for all of them (with some exceptions ofc!)! The developers did a wonderful job with fleshing out the npc’s, along with the environments!

And final note because I don’t want to clog up your inbox/ send in a behemoth of a message ^^; I have very few complaints or things that I wish could be changed/fleshed out, and one of those is regarding the presence of the puppets and the puppet frenzy! I’m not mad at the addition of the carcasses or the other story beats they chose to use, I just really liked the puppet enemies and where the story could have potentially gone! I just enjoy the non standard horror-ish vibes the puppets had to offer! <:)

Thank you so so much for being so kind as to read those tags I had written out so long ago😭 I’m not sure if you remember that reblog (and I hope it isn’t a bother to send this in! ^^:), but I knew as soon as I gathered my bearings after completing the game I really wanted to send some thoughts in! If you don’t mind me asking, what were your favorite aspects, characters, songs, enemies, …etc, from the game?🥺 Or any thoughts about the game itself?

Thank you so much for your time, please know there’s no rush or pressure to read or respond whatsoever! I hope you have an amazing day/night! <:)

OML!!! Hi!! 😊💙

Yes I remember you, I was so eager to hear your thoughts cause I know you said you were in the midst of finishing the game, I love hearing everyone's thoughts when they finish one of my fav games and LOP has become my new fav game!!

You saying that you are reeling from emotions is just how I felt when I finished playing LOP, it's such a well written game and above all else- has fantastic art, story, music, and characters, plus much much more!

I can go into so much detail about what my favorite things are!

My favorite section of the game is Rosa Isabella street, just the way it introduces that section from just seeing more of how Krat was- literally made me fall in love with the section! (I also like the exhibition, just because we got to see what Venigni/Geppetto made!)

My favorite character has to be a blend of them- I really liked Polendina, Lady Antonia, and also the broken puppet we find! They made me feel the most in the story! (Of course P, Venigni, Eugenie, and Romeo!)

The records are the absolute best, my favorite 2 records have to be Shadow Flower, and Proposal, Flower, Wolf (Golden)!

The enemies are really unique, I tend to like the more creepy ones like the ones in the Opera house or even the Maid puppets cause UGHHH they give me the shivers!

My favorite boss fight has got to be the nameless puppet or even the Bishop!

Overall my favorite aspects of the game are how different you can play each time! You can play heavy, light- a blend, you can have so many different weapons with different handles HELL, go crazy and take the Spector/throwables in there and go ham! It's overall my favorite thing, as well as how it uses the environment to tell a story!

Don't ever feel like you are flooding my ask box or even shy about sending me stuff cause I am so down to talk about my fav things in the world!! I am even willing to talk about my criticism of the game but this answer is so long! 😭😭

I'm even gonna follow up with some questions myself!

Who's your favorite character?

Who's your favorite boss?

What record was your favorite?

What boss gave you a hard time?

[thelordofgifs]

I discovered your writing yesterday and devoured Fairest Stars, loving every second of it. I have experienced SO many emotions.

I don't know if this is a Fairest Stars question or just silm writing in general, but how do you keep the balance between giving the characters an opportunity for a "better" life but also not straying from the themes of sorrow, hope, grim realities of war and politics, grief and messy interpersonal relationships.

I guess what I'm saying is you do a wonderful job of writing a for want of a nail situation where the readers are stuck sitting and watching characters finding new ways to adhere to the doom. I want to yell at and shake Thingol and Curufin with my 20/20 reader vision—Absolutely amazing!

This is INCREDIBLY kind, thank you so so much!! I’m so glad you’re enjoying it :)

Well, this is pretty much the trickiest question about silmfic, isn’t it? I’m very new to the fandom and most of my silm writing so far has been canon compliant, which is great fun – look how much angst there is to write! – but also sidesteps the problem of how to insert some hope into such a relentlessly tragic narrative. With regards to TFS, it’s a question I honestly haven’t fully resolved myself, but I’ve been laying little seeds of plot down in the hope that one of them might eventually help me out here. And I don’t want to spoil too much, either! But: Fingon matters. So does Lúthien. And while they’re both in the story, I think – maybe – not everything is completely hopeless for the sons of Fëanor. (Finrod might matter for this reason too, but since he barged his way into the story without being invited, it’s hard to say for sure.)

But I am so, so glad that the want-of-a-nail situation is still giving you some of that sense of doom! This is the first proper AU fic I’ve ever really written, in any fandom, and it turns out it’s a very delicate balancing act between events feeling plausible without somehow cheating the overall moral narrative. (Is that a term that makes sense? Idk I might not be expressing this very well.)

Thank you for this lovely ask! Hopefully some of this rambling made a stab at answering your very thought-provoking question :)

[multifairyus]

Genuine question about the Legendborn series do you know how many books are set to be in the series ? Or is that it just those two that have come out ? Also if someone wanted to get into the series how would you persuade them to read it?

The Appeal of the Legendborn Cycle Series

According to Deon’s website, it was planned as a trilogy…the wording makes me hold out hope for more books, especially since it was announced in February that we’re getting a TV series

Onto how I’d persuade them to read it: whew boy do I have THOUGHTS

Tl; dr:

1. Magic system is enhanced by being grounded in reality; the book itself stays grounded by being easy to read while maintaining mystique and intrigue

2. Complex character interactions that arise naturally from strong characterizations and a dynamic plot allow for compelling love interests/a believable love triangle.

3. Themes of grief, identity, heritage, and agency are elevated by the unique perspective of a teenage black girl in the American south.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

• It’s a YA book, young adult. IDK how old you are or the people you wanna persuade. Most people stop reading before finishing high school and aren’t likely to pick up books that a) require a lot of background/genre knowledge to understand b) dense syntax and complicated plots. The Legendborn Cycle (TLC) being YA counters both of these issues. It’s audiobook is an excellent way to consume it, since ~500 pages is a big ask for people who aren’t readers all. Emotive with distinctive character voices.

• TLC subverts and/or reimagines major writing tropes in a way that is satisfying and compelling, not just as a “gotcha” to shock the audience. Getting into HOW exactly is major spoiler territory, but in general you could mention secret magical societies, lines of succession, love triangles, magic systems…you can’t build a story without tropes, but using them in interesting ways is how you circumvent it being cookie cutter.

• Very solid worldbuilding. It’s Urban Fantasy without forgetting the “Urban” part. While the plot doesn’t focus much on Onceborns, the fact that TLC touches on how a magical institution would last for centuries as a secret keeps things grounded without getting bogged down with worldbuilding details that don’t come into play later. Getting into Bloodmarked is spoiler territory…but you could mention how TLC has draws analogies between the consolidation, conservation, and enforcement of power within the Legendborn world and within real life society. That’s the focus in the first book. The second book sets up main characters to have even more dynamic character arcs as their worldview expands alongside the reader.

• Thus far, nothing feels like fluff or filler. All the worldbuilding, character dynamics/interactions, and plot threads are followed through, or set up for something later on. Callbacks and echos galore. Lots of rereading value.

• Bree, Nick, and Sel’s relationships are interesting BECAUSE of the plot, not the other way around. Their feelings for each other are informed by revelations in what they do *outside* of pining for each other. The “insta first love golden retriever” Nick and “secretly dedicated argumentative black cat” Sel have more depth than those tropes would imply. The same traits that manifest as romance to Bree, but look different to side characters—and especially to each other—while still being consistent overall. The fact that the two HAVE so much history with each other is entirely because of plot reasons, which means it will always carry weight in how they interact with each other and with Bree. You can argue that one romance is more compelling than the other (I am an unabashed Brelwyn/BreeSel endgame shipper) but you can’t argue that there is an actual dilemma for the main character, Bree—which is all that matters for a compelling love story, triangular or otherwise. AND it doesn’t subsume the whole plot—it’s adventure first and a romance second with plenty of room to fill in details yourself.

Okay I think that’s a good enough answer to your question without straight up ranting about how much I love this damn book series lol. Hope that was helpful!

[olivieblake]

Hi Olivie! I am back with some praise for “The Lovers Grim”!!! I did read this in November but life went crazy (as it always does) so I am just now sending you my praise. (spoilers included). This is a bit long but most of its length just comes from me sending quotes I loved so hopefully if you just skim those it won’t be as long, I’m sorry :( 

I keep telling people that it was a lot sexier than the preceding books in the fairytale collections so that made it super fun overall!!!

Clara and the Devil: What a fun way to start! I love stories where the devil shows up and there’s temptation so I knew I was going to love this one, and I did! I love Clara, I find her super relatable to me. I keep notes in my notes app on my phone as I read your books and I just have written “this is just sexy and everyone is horny” so many times hahah (please take that as a compliment because it is). THE ENDING TOO LIKE 🥵  MY GOD I LOVED IT. Made me want to immediately go jump the WEBTOON, which I did and am obsessed with. The female version of the devil is 🥵 and I definitely have some theories on everything. I’m really liking the bargains with the universe part, I too make bargains with the universe in the hopes it will help me. I read the new update from yesterday too and ahhh so excited to see where everything goes. THE ART OF COURSE IS BEAUTIFUL SENDING MY PRAISE TO LITTLE CHMURA. 

I loved this line from the story “I’d asked him to meet me on the beach in the middle of the night, which were terms the devil readily agreed to. He was very agreeable that way, which I hated, but which I also understood. He was reliably available for my sins.”

Both the “Apple’s a bit much don’t you think” and Devil’s food cake made me laugh hahahaha. I also really liked the line “There is more to being good than simply abstaining from vice.”

Once it Happens: OLIVIE THIS STORY!!! It’s truly a story I always dreamed of wanting and just didn’t know existed so I’m super thankful you wrote it. I also did cry as well as feel a whole range of emotions (which as an emotionally repressed person is some of the highest praise I can give you). I’m a lover of the idea of being in someone’s orbit/fate drawing people together/invisible string/soulmates so this story was exactly what I needed. I consider this (and La Petite Mort obviously which I actually reread in December as a pick me up with the audiobook-also fantastic-and loved it even more the second time around.Thanks for that book❤️) my two matches made in heaven. This story actually explains why I ship certain ships, like nicolibby for example, just because I find this type of dynamic to be a super strong and important connection so it makes it hard to fathom them being with other people (for me specifically). Even the bit where “Once it happens, it can't unhappen. It can't be undone.” made me think of  “we met, so now we can’t detach” type thing. Most of my favorite ships have this type of dynamic so it made me love this story even more. This story is one I still think about 24/7 and it just made me think a lot/it said so much in so little and left such an impact on me. I think I tabbed every paragraph in this one like I loved it and could probably just sit here and write down every one and tell you all my thoughts etc but that would waste so much of your time so I shall refrain. Just know “I LOVE THIS STORY SO FUCKING MUCH” was written in my notes on this one about 100 times. Enjoy a few of my random rambles:

All the different times they could meet/that it happens and THE ICE CREAM SHOP BEING A COMMON THEME. 

“They are children together, opening gifts. They are teenagers, discovering life. They are adults, and sad ones, and when he tilts her chin up for a kiss she breathes something into his mouth he's certain is one word: Finally. He will marry her within a year.” THIS MADE ME CRY

“They live separately and their lives never cross. His children will have her smile and her sense of humor, and neither of them will ever know it.” THEY STILL HAVE THE THREADS OF EACH OTHER IN LIVES THEY DON’T KNOW EACH OTHER (this also made me cry)

The ice cream shop closing 😭😭😭 and then figuring out they grew up in the same town and they think about how they could have met a thousand different ways and didn’t, it’s funny how they came so close and she says she’s glad it finally 

THE ENDING PARAGRAPH I’M CRYING AGAIN

Literally thank you for this story and thank you for just writing all my favorite stories and books, much love❤️❤️❤️

Captain McIver’s Ship of Souls: This one was so funny and I loved seeing Arno just be confused about humans haha but I was so intrigued. My personal favorite thing was that the finfolk crave blood and the multiple blood sucking scenes, I don’t know what that says about me but hey it WORKS for me and made me just so very happy to see. THANK YOU QUEEN. The twist in this one was also super good, I didn’t see it coming. I have decided that Eilif from the TA6 universe is one of Arno’s cousins (it is canon in my heart and that is all that matters <3) Here’s some moments I absolutely loved. 

“Captain,” comes the voice of Eli's first mate. He's the one who was last to jump on Eli's orders, Arno notes, and dislikes him slightly, though without any particular reason.” We love when a love interest hates a person for just not respecting their love interest!!! ONE OF MY FAVS

To Make a Man: So interesting!!! I was trying to guess what type of creatures they both were the whole time and the stakes were super high so it was so hard to put down. Marcelo has some great lines like ugh THIS MAN he was down so bad. The angst in this is god tier. I just love that they each brought a little bit of peace to each other for a time, and in my head they can find their way back together in however many years.

“Lina, Lina, Lina. You are the softness of your skin, the sharpness of your mind. You are the knife-edge of your humor, which doesn't look like humor at first because, on you, joy looks like suspicion. You are the distance you so meticulously keep between us. You are the door, the latch, the key I understand now that I am an invasion; even with my best intentions, you can only trust me the way you'd trust a flood. There's no choosing which parts of me you accept or which parts of you I want. We seep in through each other's cracks, all or nothing” I LOVED THIS LIKE MY GOD I LOVED IT SO MUCH 

“He would have traded euphoria just to keep her, to make her the subject of his tedium. To live a colorless life in the shade of her bones, in the sound of her breath, knowing and eternally recounting the monotony of her details until he grinds himself down to nothing, never learning or experiencing another beautiful thing.” STOPPPP SO GOOD 

“Someday, she thought, she would remember this for all that it was, and for all that it wasn't. She would resurrect this very moment into countless perpetuity and embrace the searing pain of it; suffer the boundless joy. Because it had been real. Every moment of it. Every blessed thread.” PAIN 

Kill the Bachelor: Another dream I didn’t think to have but like two contestants on the Bachelor ditching him and falling in love??? Amazing. The TV script set up was so cool too it really made me feel like I was just watching episodes of the bachelor. All the satire in this was A+. This one also had me laughing a bunch. Anway, men suck and women are always better (but Josh’s crush on Lauren was cute too)

YAY woman in STEM!!!

“Do you ever feel like you're in this crowd of people and nobody really sees you? Like, you're there, but nobody gets you, you know what I mean?" Yes all the time 

KARA (sympathetically)

“A sad day for all Bachelor fans indeed, Craig."

CRAIG (nodding)

"Sure is, Kara! And now, Andrew with the weather."

That made me laugh out loud 

I’ll be sending my praise for YES super soon (hopefully soon at least lol I have condense my thoughts/praise to make it not a novel like I LOVED that book and CecilyPorter have joined the crowd of my beloved ships-they are up there with nicolibby, mayracal, and aldoregan for me and by now I’m sure you know how much I love those other 3-so yeah that probably says everything you need to know but I can’t wait to express more of my love of them to you later haha). I’m currently reading “Grow Your Own Optimist!” and loving it so far! 

-Amanda

hahaha never apologize! I'm so happy you enjoyed the stories and I'm never mad about getting to know which quotes you liked. I agree, "once it happens" is one of my favorite stories. I feel like that one might be the olivie brand in brief summation? just... about love and life and time and fate and also blowjobs and ice cream. anyway

OH I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT CLARA POSTING AGAIN. I can't wait for you guys to see the end of this season. I mean obviously you know by now I'm obsessed with chmura's art but also I'm pretty proud of how the story ends, because I never intended to keep writing in this universe and wasn't sure I could do a sequel that felt the same way, but I think (fingers crossed) I managed it. I'm really excited to show you the finished product!

[inkovert]

Apart from being two different facets of myself, Spencer and Cami are also two representations of how my depression manifests. I don’t get sad when I’m depressed, I’m either angry/irritable (Cami) or completely apathetic (Spencer). Like Cami, I struggled a lot as a teen trying to parse out my emotions and why I felt the way I felt. And the inability to articulate or comprehend that often resulted in and came through as anger/frustration. Cami’s very much the same way when we first meet her in SCIF. She feels so many things, and she hates that she can’t turn it off or distill it into one specific word or emotion for other people to understand. So it all just bleeds through as anger. Also like Teen Me (and honestly adult me to a certain extent), she’s able to make an active choice of whether to reveal those unpleasant feelings she harbors or to mask it, depending on the setting. So depending on who she’s with or what she’s doing or how professional or whatever she needs to be, she’s good at putting up a facade to get by without dealing with questions or consequences.

Spencer, my boy, is the complete opposite. My mans don’t care. Literally. He doesn’t worry about pretending to be a certain way or putting up a facade for others to feel comfortable. 9.5 times out of 10 his face is completely impassive and unreadable. You could be telling him the happiest or the strangest news anyone’s heard in the world and the most you may get is a minimal lift of his brow. It takes a lot to shift his demeanor. He only cares about getting done what he needs to get done and then escaping from people, whether through books or music. This is more so how my depression manifests now as an adult. It’s kind of amusing (not the right word but can’t think of a better one) to see the way the two of them interact, because they’re both dealing with very similar things on the inside but because of the way those emotions manifest they make snap judgements about the other and initially do not get along. And I’m just sitting there watching them interact like oh :’) if only you knew. But they don’t, ‘cause how could they? You never know what someone else is going through or what’s going on in their head to make them act the way they do. Which is a pretty big theme of the story overall.

I don’t think I did this intentionally (at least not with Spencer, that was just sort of how his character emerged in my mind when I created him), but I kinda like having this private part of myself (among others) infused into my characters. And, although awareness of mental illness is getting a lot better now, I still think it’s important for teens to know that depression often =/= sadness. It manifests in so many ways, which is something I wish I’d known a lot earlier in my life.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

wait... you like kenjaku?

i feel like not many people do...

with kenjaku...

one thing that always bothered me was kenjaku's past life?

what was kenjaku's first host like? who was it?

i can't get the idea of kenjaku's first host being kenjaku's lover—a way of preserving his lover's memory by being inside their body literally.

and kenjaku knows it inside out, but now, kenjaku truly knows what it's like to know it inside out.

do you think it would make kenjaku cry? i'm not sure. i don't know if i have a good handle on kenjaku's character yet.

but i find this thought to be interesting.

it occupies my mind from time to time. (i think it's pretty romantic, too...)

(and the potential of kenjaku preferring some bodies over others? potentially missing the original body kenjaku used to possess? a sense of dissociation, perhaps, too? or nonchalance? i'm not sure.)

and since my humour is a little bit too raunchy for my own good, i keep on making myself laugh by thinking of kenjaku having a partner who just calls kenjaku an 'ancient brain with teeth leaking fluids' or 'you're just a brain—suguru's the one who's pretty' and kenjaku would be like, 'yeah? is that so? well i'm the one fucking you with his dick.'

ANONNNNN I’VE READ THIS ASK OVER AND OVER AGAIN LIKE A MILLION TIMES you have nooo idea how ecstatic i got seeing it !!! I DOOOO LIKE KENNY I LOVE KENNY he’s my fave jjk character hehe <333 (stsg excluded … 👉👈)

i don’t even know where to begin because i have sooo many thoughts abt this… it’s such an interesting aspect of kenny’s character that i think a lot of ppl don’t tend to discuss (partially bc he isn’t the most popular character in the first place…) SO THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR ME TO RANT A LIL buckle up my sweet anon >:33

first of all!!!!! TYSM FOR SENDING THIS IN it’s not often i get the chance to talk about kenny 🥺🥺 and honestly this is one of my favorite things about him; his identity crisis <333333 it’s soooo obvious and so so interesting and i can’t get enough of it. immortality as a trope is one i really love when it’s done well, and in kenny’s case i think it definitely is!! (but i still want akutami to explore it more in depth 😞)

in addition to that, jjk’s theme of love is so interesting when it comes to kenny because he canonically feels his vessel’s emotions, has their memories — so surely he must feel their love for people too? this is something i really hope akutami digs into more. like… did kenny love yuji when he was growing in his womb? when he was born? did he love jin? when he took over geto’s body, could he feel his love for gojo? it’s so fascinating to me.

buuuut to actually dig into your own thoughts and questions….. anon. i am in love with you. THE IDEA OF HIS FIRST HOST BEING HIS LOVER IS SO GENIUS HELLOOOOO?????? i lost it a bit when i read this ask IT’S ABSOLUTELY ROMANTIC!!! you have no idea how much i agree…… it’s a lil niche i think but!! i’m so so weak for characters who cope with the loss of a loved one by becoming them, either literally or more figuratively… i don’t see it in fiction super often but when it appears it always hits. (there’s this one game i adore where an npc you meet names herself after her dead lover and i just :(( i think it’s so romantic.)

BACK TO KENNY THOUGH …. oh anon i just adore this hc. it’s canon to me now!!! the idea of him feeling closer to his lover by taking over their corpse… it’s so twisted and desperate and it feels so fitting for him somehow. i think that kenny’s emotions are severely dulled after living for so long, but if it was his very first host, then i definitely think he might’ve cried :((( to feel your lover’s presence, to see them in the mirror, but to know they aren’t really there…. yeahhhh. fucked up </3

overall i just. really really want to see more glimpses into kenny’s previous vessels… his past…. to see him show more genuine emotion !! a big reason why kenny vs takaba is one of my favorite jjk fights is because his range of expressions is so wide, and they feel so real somehow….. there’s just sooo much about him that we don’t know yet. it’s hard to discern what parts of him are borrowed and what parts are authentic, and that makes him so intriguing as a character….. i just. love him a whole lot 🥺🥺

(also, anon… honestly… i think kenny might be in a permanent state of dissociation :’3 that might be why he’s so desperate to find some sort of meaning to it all…. unhinged little mad scientist meowmeow <33)

[kimonotsuki]

Review - Zen Garden by Island Falls Home

Have you ever wanted to bring a little bit of Zen mindfulness into your home? Maybe as a way to focus on yourself for a few minutes during a long work day or to decompress after a marathon session of cleaning? Island Falls Home has got you covered.

As some of you already know, I live with anxiety and OCD, and I have a strong suspicion I'm also dealing with ADHD. Anything that helps me calm down and focus is a welcome addition to my life. I have a little bowl of fidget toys on my desk but I wanted something that took a bit more effort, and felt a little more mature. I'd been looking into small desktop-style zen gardens for a while but frankly all the ones I saw felt cheap or tacky. I've found ones with sand that was far too large, ones that included ridiculous little tchotchkes like garden gnomes, ones that were all plastic and flimsy-looking, and ones that had absolutely no sense of scale (giant maneki nekos next to a torii gate the size of your thumb...) But then I found Island Falls Home. They are a small family-owned business based in the UK, and all they do is sand gardens. This sort of focus allows them to source quality pieces and stay on theme with their products, and that attention to detail really shows. They currently offer two zen gardens (the Traditional kit, which I have here, and the Oasis of Calm which is beautiful and looks like a rippling pond) and one sand planetarium. I knew when I found their products that I wanted to share them with you all, so I reached out to the owners. James was lovely and through our interactions it was clear that he has a true passion for traditional Japanese arts and culture, and you can tell these kits are a labour of love. He was incredibly generous and offered to send me one to check out at my leisure. To save on overhead I arranged to have it sent here to California, and I've been testing it out for almost two weeks now, and love it. The attention to detail is obvious from the moment you receive the kits. The packaging feels elegant and sturdy, and everything is carefully and lovingly organised and protected. From the tissue wrapping to the bow on the tool box to the well-designed insert, no detail has been overlooked here. The presentation would also make these a fantastic gift. But what really matters is the garden itself, right? Thankfully that attention to detail is continued throughout. The kit comes with a wide variety of accessories. There are two sakura trees with bark bases to help them stand up properly, a cute little bridge, a torii gate, a lovely little pagoda, and a selection of stones and moss for a touch of nature. My only (very minor) issue is that the pagoda is ceramic and feels very high quality but the bridge and torii are plastic. They're still very well-made and nicely detailed, but I'd love to see all these pieces in ceramic to add to the luxe feeling of the kit. There's also a fantastic assortment of handcrafted bamboo rakes and tools, which allow you to meditatively create infinite designs in the sand. The sand itself is incredibly fine and smooth and clean, and clearly high quality. This is a place where a lot of kits cheap out, and it's obvious Island Falls Home did not. It's sourced from a company in Ontario, which as a Canadian is a nice little bonus. I do wish the kit had some sort of storage container for the sand if it needs to be put away for storage, travel, or moving, but a quart-sized food storage bag would work for the time being. I could take hundreds of photos of the permutations I've created with this kit, but I'd rather be a bit concise and focus on this set up I did trying to feature as many items as I could. The end result is cohesive and uncluttered, and allows for a lot of meditative motions. I also don't want to influence anyone who buys these kits, I'd rather you let your own moods and emotions guide you. Overall, if you've been looking for a desk zen garden, or even if you hadn't considered one before but now see the appeal, I highly recommend these! You can grab the Traditional Zen Garden kit on Amazon here, or the Oasis of Calm kit here. Prime day is coming up soon, which could be a great time to take advantage of free shipping if you're considering one of these. Read the full article

[kitty-cross]

[WARNING: ANIMAL DEATH. in the storytime too]

I'm more like the happy, cute illustration kind of girl - as you probably already noticed - who usually doesn't really do pieces from pure emotion, but this month's beginning was actually really hard for me. Like, rock bottom hard. Overall, life was too much, everything became overwhelming and around the 3rd of May I really thought for a second that I didn't want to continue it. I wanted to run away from my life, leaving everything behind. Understand as you wish, you're probably not wrong.

The only thing that kept me going was music, but The Poet and the Pendulum became my theme song, and if you know this story, you know what it means.

I had two panic attacks that day. Two breakdowns, but I had to go because of my work and then I scraped myself together enough to go to the nail salon. My nails are still short, even though it's been over a year and I haven't even touched a guitar. I was walking home when life hit me in the face with such a maternal slap as the world has never seen.

Call it the main character moment, call it destiny, intervention of the universe and beyond, or just a series of coincidences that turned out exactly like this. To be honest, I don't care, but for me it was the biggest slap I ever got, enlightening and sobering, the greatest manifestation of my strangely religious still without organized religion spirituality. And because of this ‘i’m one of the parts of Mother Nature’ belief of me, I am the person who, every time I walk down the street, even pays attention not to scare the birds.

I didn't for once. I was so down that I couldn't think about anything but my pain. The song on my phone switched from The Poet and the Pendulum to Amaranth, at the exact moment when a blackbird, scared of me and the people coming towards me, was hit by a car passing next to us. If you know me, you know very well that I will even take a thrown plant home to save it (...happened last week), not to pass an injured animal. The poor thing was very much alive, but it was terribly scared, so after we scraped it off the road, we tried to see if it had broken anything. Quite honestly, I'm not even sure if the car caused it or the little fool herself as she suffered on the ground, but when I caught her so that she wouldn't do more damage to herself, she was already behaving strangely. I started to go home with her to find a vet, but she did not survive.

That poor thing died in my hands. Literally.

And she took with her all of my pain, all my second thoughts about whether it made sense to continue.

Does it make sense? Or I'm really just delusional.

I won't lie, I publicly cried the rest of the way home. Then I cried all night, so much so that I couldn't open my eyes the next morning. My eyes were so swollen.

Like everything that happens to me, of course I told this too to my little sister, even if I wasn't able to put it correctly into words. Probably I still could not make justice in writing for what all happened to me because I’m not a writer or a poet, just somebody who draws. So I drew it. Out of my system, out of my heart. Is this the most unique creation in the world? Of course not. Do I feel that somehow I commemorated the little bird who saved my life from myself with her own death? I hope.

My little sister said that maybe I should check out of the meaning of blackbirds, although the meaning was completely clear to me without symbolism. But it's even weirder that it also resonates: “a dead blackbird may symbolize a release of negative emotions.” “One of the most common interpretations of the symbolism of dead birds is a fresh start, renewal, and transformation. It can also be taken as a warning for some danger that your soul is about to go through.”

Are there so many coincidences in real life? Why does this feel like someone wrote it and not like it happened to me?

[yesterdanereviews]

Bong of the living Dead (2017)

Film review #541

Director: Max Groah

SYNOPSIS: a group of friends obsessed with zombies and getting high find their fantasies have come true and the zombie apocalypse is here. Unfortunately, their fantasy about fighting in the zombie apocalypse falls short of their expectations...

THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Bong of the Living Dead is a 2017 zombie film, and is not related to the previously reviewed 2010 Bong of the Dead (there just happens to be a “budding” market for films about zombies and weed apparently). The film mostly centres on a group of childhood friends who grew up imagining what to do in the zombie apocalypse, and have now grown up to smoke weed and talk about the zombie apocalypse. The group finally gets their wish though, as zombies start appearing and they can start preparing their plan for survival...or just get high. I don’t know. The film tries to do quite a lot in terms of it’s story and genre: it’s a stoner comedy film, but also a meta-zombie apocalypse film that riffs on the tropes of the genre, but also takes a dark and dramatic turn for the last twenty minutes when the reality of the situation catches up to the cast. A such, it feels like it’s trying to do too many things at once, and there’s no core around which the film coheres. A lot of the film does involve the characters just getting high, which I guess would be the dominant theme, but the comedy just isn’t there to make it a simple stoner flick: as mentioned, it tries to go for a meta-take on the zombie apocalypse, but this commentary is loosely scattered through the film, and doesn’t take root. It feels like it wants to do a Shaun of the Dead-esque approach in this regard, but also a bunch of other things too.

The characters each have their own personalities and set themselves apart, but most of them don’t really come across a likable. The wobbly acting is perhaps intentional for the most part as it attempts to in-part parody low-budget zombie movies, but the actors do a decent job of handling the more emotional and dramatic scenes at the end; however, it is still a bit jarring when you have spent the film not taking them seriously. I’m not quite sure about the setting of the film: one of the main characters runs a DVD rental store, which doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that would actually exist in 2017, and there’s no mobile phones anywhere, which makes me think that maybe it’s set in the early 2000s, but there’s no reference to the timeframe, so again, it’s another element that seems a bit unclear. This is certainly an indie film, but definitely not a one-man show created nearly entirely by one person: this has a full crew attached, as evidenced by the near-full credits that roll about twenty minutes in with the title card. I’m not opposed to the idea of having credits at the start of a film (this is the way they were originally presented), but to have them show up as the first act of the film ends and bring it to a stand still for nearly five minutes is pretty disruptive for the film’s pacing.

In terms of the film’s production, there’s a decent amount of competence with regards to how it’s filmed; nothing too special, but it works. The makeup on the zombies looks good, and there’s a decent amount of gore when there needs to be, but the film seems to refuse to capture anything violent on film, and any physical violence on the zombies cuts away just as it happens, or is partially obscured. I’m guessing this is either to do with trying to secure the film’s rating, or having no way of making it look convincing without hurting the actors. Either way, it is a noticeable hole in the film. Overall, it feels like Bong of the Living Dead wants to both be a stoner zombie movie, while also being a commentary on the stoner movie...while also adding a serious side to the stoner zombie movie. You’ve got a lot of sitting around smoking weed, some nudity, and some zombie whacking, while the plot point about the characters being zombie movie buffs setting up a meta-narrative doesn’t really go anywhere. The last act switching to a much darker tone as the events of the film start to take their toll on the cast does have some emotional weight to it eventually, but when you’ve been watching these people just smoke weed and base their personality on one-dimensional comedy traits, then trying to make you care for them in the last twenty minutes is a huge uphill climb that the film makes for itself, made worse by the way some of these characters act just makes them downright unlikeable. Credit to the film for trying to do something a little different, it just tries to do too many things a little different...

[jihopesjoint]

*sigh* you’re gonna have to come pick me up off the floor

it’s been close to 24 hours atp i just wanted my review to be meaningful and more than just me screaming. i don’t even know where to begin uhhhhh fuck i have to put a break this is going to be so goddamn long 😂😅

i have to start by being soft to you specifically (i’m a gemini stellium with a cancer rising lmao) you’ve dedicated your e2l jimin fic to me and the drabble to hozier you posted you also told me it was a gift and all of that already made me feel so special, but then you writing this specifically with me in mind was a whole different feeling entirely. i KNOW that it’s a drabble and i KNOW it’s not that deep, but regardless of the fact that it’s a request i sent you, it’s one of the nicest things anyone’s done for me because you took the time and energy to write this. it’s just really fucking nice.

it’s really cool to me that we found each other here. we joke about it often, but i saw you answer the ask game last night saying you would use the word “kindred” to describe me, and that feels so accurate to me. we have very different backgrounds and experiences, and there’s STILL so much we have in common. we haven’t known each other long, and we’re mostly just silly together, but i do truly feel seen and understood by you, and the way you wrote this drabble makes that VERY clear. i guess i’ll talk about it now lmfao

idk if it’s because i had the easiest time ever self-inserting (thank you lmao), but this made me EMOTIONAL. i absolutely fucking loved how in sync these two were and are. neither of them surprised to find each other again after a year. jimin STILL being confident about the kind of drink in the travel mug, even after so long. there was no second-guessing, no “well what if she changed her coffee order in that year she was gone?” him asking how many shots of espresso she (i??) had and all she did was grimace for him to know the answer. there’s just something about how there was little said to each other in words but so much understanding passed between them anyway. and in general, it’s so special to have people that you can immediately fall back into step with regardless of time and distance. ALSO having a shared google calendar is so fucking cute to me oh my fucking GOD!!!! that was one tiny detail and it might’ve been my favorite part LMAO

the energy of the song is SO potent too, in both the literal and figurative sense. they physically found each other again completely on accident with no surprise, just instant comfort. and i just loved that he loved her enough to tell her to go. he had faith in her that she didn’t have in herself, and she needed to go find that faith in herself, by herself. i uhhh relate heavily.

i know that the song’s true intentions were to be about learning to find a home within yourself and that she’s singing to herself, and it’s DEFINITELY the reason i love it so much and identify with it so heavily. but i also typically think about my best friend when i hear it. we met in june 2013 (happy birthday bts), and we got attached to each other pretty immediately and obviously have been ever since. we started out at the same college, which was in the area where i grew up, but she moved there from another part of texas. but while she stayed there, i transferred to the university in my hometown due to baby’s ~first~ of several mental breakdowns. she’s also stayed in the area after graduating, and i moved to the other end of texas and then ultimately across the country. but i have the intention of eventually moving back and moving in with her. she’s always known me to be on this journey of finding myself.

i’m mentioning this because while you DEFINITELY channeled me through the little details (the eyebrow crease, inability to go to sleep early, the hitting the arm, “please clap,”), you also captured an overall theme in my life in more ways than i think you even realized, and it honestly took my breath away. the “there’s more of you now than there was” and her glow that had begun to dim that was back and brighter than ever made me so fucking hopeful that one day i can have that because i’m doing everything i fucking can to be comfortable in my own skin. i have never known a peace and contentment like that. and FUCK i just wasn’t expecting to be seen in that way during this story.

i tend to be PARTICULARLY delusional about park jimin because i’ve looked at both of our birth charts LOL and all of our placements kinda fit together, but we both have gemini moon and cancer rising. it just makes me think that, language barrier aside, if some miracle were to happen and we crossed paths that we would get each other on a fundamental level. i relate to him HEAVILY. and the way you captured him and put him into this story was just exactly the way i think of him in relation to me. and you also inserted him into the position of my best friend in real life, which is SO interesting.

i don’t know man. i just can’t fucking thank you enough for this. i’m going to reread it so often. i fucking love you dude. i’m sorry this was so long for something so small LMFAO

jade. my soulmate. co-parent of our brain cell. the time has come—i have worked up the courage to send you a request.

i am thinking of the absolute love of my life park jimin. like estranged friends to lovers (not necessarily bad blood, just time and life caused distance between them)? fluffy like so fluffy but a hint of angst if you squint?? perhaps song inspo ‘find me here’ by hayley williams???

love u, sending this made me NERVOUS LMAO

OH, BINCH, I AM READY.

As the saying goes, two things in life are inevitable: death and taxes. As far as Park Jimin is concerned, that list is non-exhaustive, woefully incomplete. It fails to account for the one thing he knows is certain.

When he left his apartment that morning, Jimin didn’t necessarily expect to run into you. The Google calendar you once shared had been out of commission for nearly a year; and your paths hadn’t crossed in the meantime. He had no reason to know that your plans for the day included sitting riverside, sipping coffee, and watching the water. Despite that fact, it doesn’t surprise him to find you there now.

It just makes sense.

You’re daydreaming when Jimin sits down next to you. He gets so caught up in that thoughtful crease between your eyebrows that he forgets to make his presence known for more than a few minutes. You don’t even jump when he eventually decides to speak rather than stare. Finding him doesn’t seem to be a shock to you, either.

“Hey,” you sigh as if you’re relieved, and you are all smiles.

Jimin echoes your greeting in that same, soft tone, and it’s easy, like the last time he said it wasn’t twelve months ago. He’s grateful for that — for the lack of theatrics. It isn’t a dramatic reunion; there’s no gasp, no tears, no oh my gods. There’s you and him, falling into lockstep without so much as a stumble.

Glancing down at the travel mug in your hands, Jimin confirms that he knows exactly what he’s looking at. Right above your thumb, he finds the accidental dent you made in the metal when you knocked it off his kitchen counter two years earlier. The sight of it has him warm all over.

He doesn’t have to guess that it’s full of the medium roast from that café up the street, but he does have to ask: “One shot of espresso, or two?”

You grimace and Jimin knows exactly what that look means.

Eyes wide with mirth, he snorts, “Three? Shit. Don’t tell me you’re still staying up until sunrise.”

“Excuse you,” you gasp in feigned offense, swatting playfully at his bicep. Thank god some things never change. “I’ll have you know that I went to bed at midnight last night like a responsible adult!”

Jimin makes a big show of rubbing the spot where the back of your hand collided with his jacket. He relishes the way you roll your eyes at him for doing so. “Responsible is debatable, but I’ll concede that — for you — midnight is impressive.”

“I know, right?” you snicker. There’s a beat, then you blink at him expectantly. “Please clap.”

With your face lit up like that, how could he not?

“Proud of you,” He chuckles as you bow through his applause. And he means it, he really does. Sleep never came naturally to you, yet here you are, willingly going to bed before the moon does.

When it grows quiet again, that feels easy, too. It’s just as comfortable as it ever was, sitting silently next to you. Jimin realizes now just how much he’s missed this. Missed you, missed existing on the same page.

In any other circumstance, with anyone else, Jimin would feel obligated to keep the conversation going. He’d volley small talk until he was exhausted; fill every lull and refuse to let the mood hit the floor. Social interactions have always felt like endurance exercises — but not with you. Not then, and thank god, not now.

You’re looking straight ahead, shoulder leaning ever-so-slightly into his, when you eventually do speak. “Thank you.”

Now, Jimin is surprised.

“I don’t think I said it before I left, so I need to say it now,” you quietly answer before he can ask.

You turn to look at him and find that his eyes are already trained on you. It’s hard to put a finger on it, but there’s more of you now than there was the last time Jimin saw you. The glow you used to have — the one that had started to dim — was back, brighter than ever.

Happiness looks good on you, he thinks.

“I don’t think I would’ve gotten my shit together if it wasn’t for you,” You sigh. Then, you slot your fingers into the spaces between his without any hesitation at all. “I needed to — like, really needed to — but I wouldn’t have seen it if you didn’t point it out.”

Jimin squeezes the hand he didn’t want to let go of in the first place. It would’ve been selfish of him to cling to it back then, but it was a gamble not to. He threw in all his chips and hoped that you were the boomerang he thought you were; that you’d come back to him when you were ready.

You were, and are, a safe bet — one he’d take every single time — so Jimin gambles again.

He leans in slowly and you lean, too. Even though it’s the first time, the way you kiss him back feels natural.

Inevitable.

[yukidragon]

SDJ Headcanons 3

Took a little break from writing Sunshine in Hell or Sunshine in Another World for the past couple weeks to recharge the ole mental batteries, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t musing about the world of Sunny Day Jack. In fact, I had a theory hit me recently that demanded I make a new headcanon post for it.

As always these thoughts are likely to be spoilers for Sunshine in Hell. There are absolutely spoilers for the demo. These theories/headcanons also might change later on as I get new ideas. This post talks about changes I’ve had in my thoughts towards the series compared to my previous headcanon posts after all.

We’ll mostly be focusing on one particular theory today, and boy is it a doozy. I’ll be giving evidence that points me to it, as well as the implications that come from it and narrative parallels that appear elsewhere.

As always, I’m going to use my specific name for the main character, Alice, unless I need to point out general details about the MC that apply across the board. My headcanons mainly reference my personal version of sunshine, but many details can be applied to others pretty easily.

Oh, and a heads up about the theory I tossed onto my twitter the other day, it was a joke theory. I don’t actually think Jack cheated on his partner like Ian did and was murdered because of it. I just like causing chaos sometimes with random funny cursed thoughts and images. 😼

As always an important reminder - Something’s Wrong With Sunny Day Jack is for Adults Only! No one under 18 is permitted in this fandom. Some themes of the game go to very dark and sexual places, and I will be touching on those mature themes, such as dubious consent and emotional manipulation, so no minors permitted past the cut.

Obligatory tag for @channydraws and @earthgirlaesthetic. If you want to be tagged the next time I make a headcanon post, please let me know. Enjoy!

The Tragedy of [Redacted]

This theory all started from a single line of dialogue in the Sleepy Time Jack virtual body pillow.

“I-I’ve never been like this with someone like you before…”

It’s a sweet comment, isn’t it? Jack only says this after he’s stripped nude. It’s an adorable amount of fluster on his part from being so exposed to his sunshine, but happy at the same time because they’re so special...

But the key words here are “with someone like you.” It implies, to me, that Jack has been in bed with at least one other person before, naked, but it wasn’t in a relationship with someone who, in his words to his sunshine (when they cuddled on the sofa in the “hug” route) makes him “feel love.” It implies that he has engaged in sexual activities with at least one other person, though not in a romantic context.

This makes sense though, right? Jack clearly knows what he’s doing sexually. In both the “yes” and “no” routes, he has no hesitation towards what he’s doing. He can strip his sunshine quickly, he knows how to use his fingers well on a lover’s body regardless of equipment involved, and he knows how to hold back to edge his sexual partner at the brink of orgasm.

Not to say that there isn’t some level of uncertainty involved given things he says in both routes. However, those are not towards the physical act but rather their emotional connection. It shows up too in another nude Sleepy Time Jack quote.

“This is fine…Right? I love you…And you love me, don’t you? So this is okay~”

In the “yes” route he seems almost amazed by his sunshine’s arousal towards him. “You were really ready for me weren’t you...” It’s almost a question, like he can’t really believe that he really is loved and desired, but he fumbles to recover from a statement that could be taken wrong.

In the “no” route, there’s a lot more desperation overall. Things like, “This feels good right...? Tell me it feels good...” and, “Our feelings are special right…?” It’s still the same theme of Jack feeling insecure that he is loved and desired. After what happened earlier, he has good reason to be especially insecure.

Overall, it’s pretty clear that Jack is a yandere because he is so insecure and desperate for love. That’s even without adding in his precarious state of existence in the present that is entirely dependent on his sunshine needing him.

In his past, even that psychologist could tell Joseph “wanted attention” and “to be seen and heard and felt and loved.” If someone could make such such assessments about Joseph so quickly, it indicates that it was easy to notice... at least for someone who knows what to look for. This meant that he was very vulnerable to anyone who saw those signs too and had a mind to exploit them for their own gain.

I think that’s exactly what happened to Joseph after he ran away from home and changed his last name from Cullman to Haberdae.

Let’s face it, runaways put themselves in a dangerous, desperate position, even if they’re teenagers with a troubled past, an attitude, and possibly a knife. Joseph made himself homeless at the age of (possibly) 14. He ran away in the middle of a school day, so this wasn’t a preplanned thing. He left with only whatever he was carrying at the time. Needless to say, he would have been ill prepared for making a whole new life elsewhere and would be in desperate need of money and shelter. In this period of his life, he is alone, barely scraping by, and no doubt still just as lonely and aching for love.

It would be so easy for someone to come across Joseph, maybe even picking him up while hitchhiking. He’s got a good build, a handsome face, and a gorgeous smile. He stands out in a crowd and he’s very attractive. Add in his vulnerable state, and if someone showed him kindness, even attraction, well... it wouldn’t be hard to imagine that he might be swept up in it the positive attention that he never got back at home.

It’s no secret that there is a dark underbelly to the entertainment industry. We hear stories all the time of producers, directors, agents, etc. offering desperate actors roles or connections in exchange for sexual favors. These actors are ignorant of the industry, and people with money and power can make or break their budding careers. This puts them in positions where it’s woefully easy to take advantage of them.

I think that’s what happened to Joseph. I think someone in a position of money and power with the studio that owned the SunnyTime Crew show dangled the promise of the starring role and adoration of the masses as a carrot in front of him. All he had to do was a few... “favors” in return... Maybe they even feigned as though they genuinely cared about him. They certainly desired his body and that did show they were interested in him...

Joseph, being in such a delicate position and so desperate could be willing to ignore the red flags, to convince himself past his doubts that they really do care about him. Sure, they expect him to provide things for them in return - sex, obedience, act like the perfect Jack for the public and not break character, work hard hours, etc... but they’re doing it because they care about him... right? What they have is special, right? They might be doing some shifty things and controlling his life, but it’s for the best, right?

Someday, Joseph will understand why they’re doing this. They’re only doing it because they care about him.

Abusive and manipulative behaviors can be a cycle. It’s entirely possible that Jack was once on the receiving end.

Jack’s comments about Ian further hint to me that he knows about relationships that aren’t built off real love, but lies of love and false promises that you wish were real, even though it’s so painful...

“He’s really fooled you, hasn’t he? He promised you the moon and all the stars…And I bet he did it so well… …But what did it all amount to in the end? He doesn’t love you… He can’t love you… Nobody who can do what he’s done to you knows what love even is.”

Jack really sounds like he’s speaking from experience there. What did all his efforts as Joseph amount to in the end? His death... and then the complete burial of his memory at the hands of the studio. As he mentioned in the hug route, the world is so busy and will forget all about someone like sunshine... like him... as what happened to him thanks to the company erasing his memory and silencing those who remembered with those iron clad NDAs.

It’s hard to blame Joseph’s co-stars for their silence after his death. They were likely in similar desperate situations that he was in. They couldn’t risk people in such powerful positions destroying their careers and suing them to bankruptcy. Those lower on the food chain in the entertainment industry are beholden to those in power and can be crushed and erased so easily, as the erasure of the show and even Joseph’s name showed.

So what I think happened was that Joseph was in a toxic relationship with someone of power. He was nothing but a good looking toy and a useful prop for the show once it got popular. He was was being overworked, likely both on and off set.

What if Joseph had moments similar to the “no” route where he felt pressured to perform and please this person holding his life in their hands?

Then of course there’s the aspect of addiction. Joseph had a nicotine addiction, but possibly also one for alcohol or hard drugs as well. The rum flavoring in the “bad choice” yogurt mini-game hints at the alcohol, while the pill imagery in the title screen hints at the drugs. Vices often serve as a bandage over the real problems a person suffers, but just make them addicted so that they sink deeper and deeper into depending on them, as well as draining their money in order to get more and more of them.

These things could be scandals enough all on their own to cause damage to the studio if word got out, but it could be worse if, say, Joseph was exposed for sleeping with one (or more) of the higher ups.

Why I say Joseph might have been having sex with more than just the person sponsoring him is because Jack had said in an interview that he wouldn’t mind joining a poly relationship. If we assume he’s in character during the interview, that could indicate that the person who “cared” for him had others they also “cared” for as well... and sometimes cruel people can treat those they have power over like toys to be passed around or pimped out for favors...

But, it’s okay, right? The person who discovered him cares about him, right? Joseph can take this all on with a smile and make it through. After all... love is about what a person can provide. He never had it before, but he has it now because he provides them with reasons to give him what he needs, the pleasure of sex, drugs, attention, and everything else he has now, when before he had nothing.

Jack himself talks as though love can be transactional, that what a person provides the other is what defines real love. He has proven in the past that he can provide so much, and his sunshine is giving him life when before he had nothing. Unlike before, however, because of the agreement between him and Alice, he can actually feel that she cares about him.

“I’ll be whatever you want me to be.” That phrase has a more disturbing implication if Jack felt that was what he had to do as Joseph to be loved...

Both in the past as Joseph, and in the present as Jack, he is suffering from desperation. He is dependent on a partner choosing to provide him with a way to live and for someone who actually cares about him. He must do all he can to make he provides for their needs so that he won’t lose everything.

Speaking of providing, let’s talk about the scalpels. Plastic surgeries are not uncommon in the entertainment industry, even with stars who are already conventionally attractive. People pick apart each little perceived “flaw” and can sensationalize it. It could be worse if the person toying with Joseph started to get bored or wanted more and more over time because he proved he will do whatever they ask. What if they felt he needed a little tweak or tuck here and there? Could he really be in a position to argue against it if they insist, or even if they pay for it? He wants to keep everything they’ve provided him, doesn’t he? Then he needs to stay pretty for them and for his fans.

As for the murder itself... What might have happened was that someone connected to his “partner” had an axe to grind. They could have been another toy they used, one just as desperate for that person’s “love” that they viewed Joseph as the enemy. That other lover could have snapped and exposed all of Joseph’s dirty secrets on camera in front of a huge audience... as well as the secrets of the big important person in this squeaky clean children’s entertainment industry and so much dirty laundry hidden behind the scenes of this wholesome children’s TV show... They could have exposed so much that coupled with Joseph’s murder and so many witnesses, it forever tainted the show.

So the studio buried it. The people with connections and deep pockets resorted to bribes, gag orders, burning records, and just removing every trace that might get them in trouble. There never was a SunnyTime Crew Show. There never any murder. There was never anyone by the name of Joseph Haberdae.

Joseph became [redacted] when he and all his hard work were so easily erased.

The murder, no doubt, was a traumatic event for everyone involved, especially Joseph. Being publicly raked through the coals in front of so many who meant so much to him must have been horrible. He wanted to do right by the children who looked up to him. He clearly made friends with his co-stars and probably others who worked on the set. In one horrible moment, all of that was irreparably stained before everything he ever worked for and even the fact that he existed at all was completely erased...

The incident was likely so traumatic that his soul might have remained stuck in that moment, obsessing over how everything went wrong... and what he should have done to make it right...

I still stick with the headcanon that a recording of the incident was kept by some sick person who enjoyed snuff films. Specifically, the person who toyed with Joseph’s life kept it as a twisted little souvenir after everything was said and done, a last piece of someone whose life - and now even his death - belonged to them. They and the murderer might not have magically cursed Joseph to remain in the tape, but he would have every reason to haunt them. His death and that person could become an obsession, as he finally learned that their love for him wasn’t real and he saw how easily he was erased and replaced.

With this being the case, the reason why the tape wound up in the thrift store was because that person killed themselves in a horrible fashion. Think what happened with Nick, only far worse, and far more personal. They babbled about “him” in the end as they mutilated themselves and died in a horrible, tormented manner... Their possessions were then distributed among relatives, some stuff sold for quick cash if they seemed as worthless as old VHS tapes.

Joseph being Jack now is part of him abandoning his imperfect past, someone who was never loved. He’s “clean” now with a new start, new name... and a new love. He’s not addicted to drugs. He is handsome and whole. He’s always cheerful and friendly and helpful. He provides his sunshine so, so much now. And... obviously they love him. It’s why he’s there. It must be.

Alice was drawn to the tape because her heart was in a similar state of broken disillusionment and desperation for real love. It’s what allowed Jack to manifest as he does. It’s like finding just the right frequency where things just... fit.

Alice wants love. Jack wants love. Alice saved Jack from hell and cares about him. Jack can’t help but love his sunshine for everything she provides him. Eventually, Alice will show him that her love doesn’t require such strings attached.

Tragedy Repeats

What’s sad is that with this new theory, I’ve also gained a new theory about why Ian cheated. Ian was trying to make it as an actor. If someone at his fancy new college convinced him that the way to “play the game” as it were was to flirt with people and be friendly... it could have led to his mistake.

Hell, it could even be as dark as Ian being offered favors in exchange for sex. He could’ve gotten connections, a better grade, or even a part or modeling contact. With his low self-esteem he could have easily been swayed into thinking that it was the only way he was going to make it.

It doesn’t excuse Ian cheating, of course. He still chose his career, personal pleasure, and/or even just not being lonely in the moment over his relationship. He might have felt guilty in the aftermath, but, in the end, he chose himself before he chose his love for Alice.

It’s not surprising though. In that one teaser image of the past between Ian and his partner, he drunkenly once said that if his acting carrier didn’t work out, then maybe they could just “be together.” While this isn’t technically canon to the story, I’m still looking at it for my headcanon.

Just being with Alice was Ian’s fall back plan. She was convenient because she was always there supporting him when others sneered at and bullied him. She was defending him when people, particularly his mother, were awful to him. Her presence was sweet, addicting nostalgia. With Alice not around him all the time to protect him and keep him company in a new and unfamiliar place facing down an uncertain future that he desperately wants, well... he might have made some pretty selfish decisions.

That’s why Alice doesn’t want to love Ian anymore. He might say he loves her, he might want her back and to be with her, and he might even believe that she really is the most important thing in his life now... but when push came to shove, he proved that his wants are more important than her.

Ian getting back together with his ex is something he might be able to accomplish with some sunshines. After all, it is a route in the game. In that case it would be a redemption story on his end, where he made one bad mistake and learned from it the hard way.

It could be a sweet story, but I’m not going that route with Alice. She no longer believes that Ian’s love for her is real.

In a way, Ian’s desire to change is similar to how Jack learned from his mistakes as Joseph and changed himself in the present.

Jack and Ian have a lot of things in common... and I bet that would drive Jack pretty crazy.

Conventional Attractiveness is Everything

Getting back to the entertainment industry preying on actors, especially the pretty ones... Let’s go into a new idea that bloomed from the theory about Joseph.

Sunshine was mentioned to be degree hopping in college. Given the heavy emphasis of the entertainment industry in the game, and the Phantom of the Opera inspiration, this gave me the image that, initially, Alice was trying to make it as an actor alongside Ian at the start of college.

Sure, it was scary. Sure Alice was intimidated by it... but she was doing it alongside the man she loved. She helped him practice so often that she had gotten good at memorizing lines and acting out scenes right alongside him. They were both shy and nervous about it, but they supported each other to keep going. And wouldn’t it be romantic if they became stars together?

As you might expect, that didn’t work out.

One day, the acting professor had Alice stay behind after class. They informed her that she was “too fat” to make it as an actress. They weren’t even necessarily going out of their way to be cruel about it, but giving her a “harsh truth” before she developed an eating disorder to lose weight or something. At best, someone chubby like her would get parts that would make her the butt of cruel jokes for the audience to mock. Not to mention that the entertainment industry would eat someone as shy and insecure as her alive...

This was a huge blow to Alice’s already low self-esteem, as you might expect. It served as the tipping point along with other factors that made her decide to try for a different degree.

This incident did make Ian struggle as well. Suddenly his partner wasn’t working alongside him anymore, and suddenly there was added emphasis on looks, which he was always insecure about. However, in stark contrast with Alice, the same teacher encouraged him to continue.

Alice encouraged Ian as well, so he kept going to follow his dream. Unlike her, he had a chance. He was praised for his looks once he got to college by multiple people. He had a glow up. He was no longer that awkward kid anymore. He also wasn’t chubby like her, and besides, men can be forgiven a few extra pounds in acting roles...

And she was right. Ian made it as a model and actor. He even got into that fancy acting college abroad. Alice was so proud of him. She would miss him and felt so lonely without him, but she was sure that when he graduated and he finally started the career of his dreams that everything would work out in the end... They could both be happy. Together.

Conclusion

As you can see, this new theory about Jack’s death has pretty big implications, and has a lot of narrative reflections in other events in the story, including with other characters. It goes to show how much the entertainment industry can very badly negatively affect peoples’ lives, especially the characters in this story.

Sadly, we don’t know enough about what the entertainment industry is going to do to Shaun to know where this theory might reflect with him and his particular narrative arc, but he was shown as being overworked in a piece of teaser art... so I’m pretty sure that he’s not going to escape its painful stranglehold.

I hope you all enjoyed the theory and headcanons in this post. Honestly, there’s not enough clues yet about the actual murder and Joseph’s life to have anywhere close to a clear picture of how and why he died. For all we know, my joke theory was closer to the truth. Still, I find this idea appealing and I’m inclined to explore it further in Sunshine in Hell.

Speaking of, if you feel inclined to read the fanfic and like it, please let me know what you think. I absolutely adore all your feedback and it really encourages me to keep writing and coming up with headcanon posts and theories like this one. Thanks for reading!