#that one i'm really struggling with at the moment.

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Can I see your d*ck? (drabble)

pairing: lee felix x afab!reader

synopsis: you're lounging on your bed with your best friend peacefully until an intrusive thought wins over.

wc: 1.0k

warnings: lots of dirty talk, making out, fingering

a/n: idk what this is, i feel unhinged and not inspired to write today so this might suck but thanks @jazz-the-writer 😏💜 (side not: y'all his hands might be small by some standard that i'm not aware of but to me they're big cause i am small and that is hot, mkay)

Your best friend is leaning on your pillow looking all pretty and alluring and you can't help your thoughts.

Or your mouth.

"Can I see your dick?" it rolls off your tongue kind of accidentally. Felix coughs, choking on air as he looks up from his phone.

"Excuse me?" he looks at you in disbelief and your cheeks warm up.

"Your dick. I want to see it."

You can't really back out now.

"Um... you can't just ask stuff like that?" his eyebrow is raised, but his cheeks become rosy too.

"Why not? Do I need to get you drunk first?" you smirk.

"N-no, just... Why would you ask that?" he chuckles nervously.

"Well, I've never seen one. Not in real life, at least." you say and he smirks suddenly.

"Where else have you seen a dick?" he sits up and so do you.

"Porn, duh." you roll your eyes.

"What kind of porn?" he leans in closer and you whine, rolling your eyes again.

"Don't change the subject! Will you let me see it?"

"No, I will not show you my dick, y/n. Be for real." he laughs, shoving you playfully.

"You're totally not fun." you pout, crossing your arms over your chest.

Felix smirks to himself as he looks away from you. His heart hammers against his ribs as he bites on his lip and considers teasing you.

"How about this?" he turns around to look at you again. "I wanna see yours too."

"Hate to disappoint you Lixie but I don't have a dick." you joke and his face becomes as red as a tomato.

"I meant your... you know." he looks away.

"My what? Say it." you lean in closer and he visibly shivers.

"Y-your... pussy?" he whispers and you laugh.

"Okay." you shrug and he gasps, thinking you'd surely back out after that request.

"You're for real?" he gulps.

"Mhm." you nod, your heart skipping a beat in excitement but Felix struggles.

"I mean... it's not... it's not hard yet, you know."

"Can I help with that?" you inch closer to your best friend. And god, he is so beautiful.

"We could make out?" he suggests and you agree immediately because who wouldn't want to kiss those lips?

The world stops as you lean in, the sounds of your breathing seem so loud in the tiny gap between you and Felix. The gap is soon closed as your lips press together in a sweet, awkward kiss.

The kiss slowly escalates into something more desperate and raw, as your hands start wandering on each other's bodies. Somehow, you end up under him as he keeps kissing your face and neck.

"Your hands are so pretty." you say breathlessly as you play with Felix's hand.

"They are?" he asks, a little surprised at your compliment.

"Mhm. And your fingers are perfect." you bring his hand closer to your face, his fingertips on your lips. Felix gasps when your tongue darts out to lick at his fingertips.

"Y/n..." his voice breaks as you take his middle finger in and start sucking on it.

"Fuck." Felix curses, his eyes darkening as he observes you. You can feel his dick twitching against your thigh and you clench around nothing.

"Please, touch me Lixie." you whine when you take his finger out of your mouth.

"Where, sweetheart?" he smirks at your eagerness and you nearly combust at the nickname.

Instead of answering, you start pulling your pants down and he quickly stops you.

"Are you sure?" he asks in the last moment of clarity.

"Yes." you say and he nods, helping you get rid of your pants and underwear.

"Oh." he licks his lips at the sight of you all wet and desperate for him.

"Please." you whine and a deep chuckle escapes his lips.

"I got you, baby." he soothes you as his hands run up your thighs a few times, coming up to spread your pussy so he can take a good look at it.

You whimper, shutting your eyes tight. Felix chuckles again, his thumb pressing against your sensitive clit in circles.

You gasp, eyes snapping open as they meet his darkened ones.

"If you've never seen a dick, that must mean you're a virgin?" Felix asks quietly.

"N-no... Well, yes. I mean I did this before but never went further." you confess and he smirks.

His fingers dip between your folds, gathering your arousal before paying attention to your clit again as he speeds up, making you whimper.

"W-why are you smirking like that?" you moan out as he flicks your clit, driving you absolutely insane already.

"I know you wanna see my dick. But I wanna make sure this little pussy can take my fingers first."

"Felix!" you whine at the dirty talk, the effect of his words amplified by his deep voice and the movement on your clit.

If you weren't at his mercy you'd probably laugh at your best friend for talking like that.

"Yeah baby? You want that?"

"P-please!" you're falling apart, your pussy clenching around nothing again.

"As you wish." Felix whispers and slowly starts pushing his middle finger in.

"L-Lixie." you moan, grabbing at his wrist as he fills you up.

"You're so tight, sweetheart. I don't think you'll be seeing my dick so soon."

"N-no, please, I wanna see it!" you cry out as he pushes in completely, slowly fucking you with his finger.

"If you manage to take three of my fingers, maybe I'll let you." he leans down to whisper in your ear, making you whine.

"You're mean." you pout, knowing damn well you're nowhere near ready to take him.

"I'm just looking out for you." he keeps smirking as he starts pumping his finger faster, making you more wet with every thrust.

You want to smack him for being so sly but his thumb starts working on your clit and you completely fall apart, moaning his name and gripping at the sheets as Felix brings you to ecstasy easily.

"Only one finger got you falling apart like this, hm?" he mocks as he fucks you through your high.

"You wanna see what two get me like?" you smirk at him and he laughs a little.

"I hope you know what you got yourself into, sweetheart."

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[littelovelunette]

could you do vi x female reader but they start out as friends and reader is being abused by her bf? vi is there for her and also is secretly in love with her, and one night after reader has a terrible fight with her bf, she runs to vi for protection? maybe they end up together, maybe he dies?

My Hero

Contains angst, mentions of abuse, strangling, blood, possible trauma triggers, violence

"Open the door, please, please, hurry..." You whispered to yourself as you banged on, the only person who could protect you right now, Vi's door.

You both had a disagreement once again and of course it ended with him bashing your head against the wall, strangling you, whipping you with his belt as you pathetically wailed and howled for him to stop. But he didn't.

Thats what was different this time. Usually, he did stop after an extent.

But this time you were gasping for air and bled so much, there were bloodstains all over the kitchen counter and living room rug— signs of struggle and abuse before you made a run for it. For your life.

You could hear your boyfriend pulling up somewhere in the driveway just a few feet away before Vi opened the door.

"Hey, wha—"

You pushed your way inside and shut the door behind quickly locking it with all sorts of locks possible.

Your left eye was bruised and there was blood running down your temples. The hand marks on your neck was a clear sign of strangle struggling.

Your lip was busted as well. Vi's thumb grazed over your cut bottom lip, something akin to sadness in her gaze. "Again?"

She asked before pulling you in for a somewhat painful hug mainly due to all the belt whip marks that you had on your torso.

"Please," you pleaded. "Save me." Your voice was hoarse from all the screaming and begging he had put you through which was pointless as you thought back to it. It's not like he stopped.

"How bad is it this time?" Vi asked before she helped you seat yourself at the dining chair.

"Awful." You said wincing as Vi gave you an ice pack for your head. "He tried to kill me. He choked me so hard and I really thought I died then. I had to run away because he wasn't stopping even after I passed out for like... I don't know, 20 minutes into the abuse?"

Vi knelt down, hands holding yours.

"Sweetheart. I've tried to tell you so many times to leave him, I don't know why you never listen to me."

"You don't understand. I need someone to keep myself in check. Sometimes I'm a threat to myself because of how much I struggle mentally and I can't afford therapy— you know that." You reasoned and your voice was shaky as you did, you were probably seconds away from passing out.

"I'm here." Vi said before pausing and adidng. "I love you. I do."

"I love you, too." Your eyes softened before Vi cut in.

"No, not like that. Not platonic. Not anymore. I'm sorry, I have to tell you but—... We've been friends for like eight years now and everytime I've seen you get into a relationship, getting all giddy and happy, I didn't know why I was the one sulking. But I've come to terms with it, I don't sulk because I feel bad for not having a significant partner. I want to me to be YOUR significant partner." Vi looked down before she looked back up at you, blue eyes filled with so much love.

"Vi..." You whispered, hand slowly shifting to cup her face.

"I know. You're straight and you don't feel the same way. I didn't wanna tell you because I didn't want our friendship to get fucked up like this, but— look, I'm sor—" she began but then she was cut out when you smashed your aching swollen lips against hers.

Vi's hands came to grab your wrists as she kissed you oh-so passionately, tasting the iron like taste of your blood with so much love that you'd think she was a vampire.

But the truth was something that was now transparent and uncovered to the both of you. She loved you. You loved her. There was no abusive boyfriend about to stop that now.

You both took a moment to bask in the love you both agreed to share before Vi got up and looked at you with a pointed smirk.

"Want me to take care of him?"

You knew exactly that Vi's taking care meant and you weren't gonna lie— it was hot, heroic and just fitting for the dynamic the both of you shared.

A damsel in distress and a knight in shining armour.

Cliché, but real.

"My hero." You said, despite all your pain and past suffering you managed to smile back at her, but this wasn't teasing. It was genuine.

Just like her love for you.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Holding It Together

MAIN MASTERLIST / MARVEL MASTERLIST 

Logan Howlett x Female!Reader

Word Count: 1,065ish

Summary: It all becomes too much and Logan can tell.

Warning(s): some angst, mental breakdown

Notes: I wrote this because I'm really struggling right now and I wish I had someone to break down to. You can really imagine any type of Logan you want.

Everything had slowly piled on. From every direction. Work. Family life. Your insecurities. The political climate. Your health problems.

On the outside, you forced yourself to seem put together, positive, and okay. But on the inside, you were breaking faster than you could put yourself together. You didn’t want anyone to know how bad it was getting, but someone was slowly seeing the cracks you didn’t know were coming through your facade. 

Logan first noticed when you laughed at one of Scott’s lame jokes one breakfast. It wasn’t as loud as it usually was, more hollow. The next time, he found you zoned out in the library. He watched you curiously for a moment. And before he could go to you, Ororo pulled you out of your daze and dragged you a long to come help her.

Logan noticed that you were being pulled in too many directions. Everyone wanted your help all the time. To collaborate on lessons. To ask questions. To hang out. Or to run trainings and missions. Then there were the family events you were constantly going to when you had time. He couldn’t remember the last time you took a day off or insisted on staying in your room for the night. Logan was growing concerned that you weren’t going to be able to handle all of this much longer.

One night, on his way to bed, Logan saw you in the hall. You clearly didn’t notice him as a few tears slipped down your cheeks and you seemed to head to your room on autopilot.

“Y/N?” He called your name.

You froze and quickly wiped away your tears. “Hey, Logan,” you forced out a smile. 

“Y/N,” he repeated, his tone full of concern as he stepped closer to you. “Are you okay?”

You bit your lip and nodded. “I’m fine.”

His brow quirked. “You sure?”

“Positive.”

He didn’t believe you one bit. “I’ve noticed that you been non-stop lately.”

“It’s just life,” you shrugged.

Logan shook his head. “No, it’s not, sweetheart. This is much more than that.”

You sighed. “I’m okay, Logan.”

“Y/N—“

“I’m going to bed. Goodnight.” Then you disappeared into your room.

~~~

Logan kept his distance the next day but also made sure that you were in his line of sight most of the day. You were holding yourself like the weight of the world was on your shoulders and Logan hated to see you that way. He just wanted you to be happy and relax.

As they day went on, Logan watched you continually put others before yourself in unhealthy ways. You really had no boundaries. When Kitty asked for your help with prepping dinner, Logan stepped in. He had had enough.

“No, Y/N’s going to go rest,” Logan said, placing himself between you and Kitty.

“What?” You questioned. “Logan, I’m fine.”

He turned around to face you. “No, you’re not. Let’s go.” He gently turned you around and began guiding you to your room. 

“Logan—“

“Not hearing it, sweetheart.”

“Logan, please.” Tears collected in your eyes.

“I’m done watching you run on fumes. You’re going to rest and I’ll bring you whatever you need.”

“No.” You pulled yourself from Logan’s grip and spun around to face him. “I can’t, Logan. I need to keep going.”

“You’re going to get sick if you continue on like this.”

“I have to keep going. If I don’t… Just, please, Logan. I’m fine.”

He shook his head. “No. I’m not dropping this. You’re running yourself to the ground and I can’t stand by and watch it anymore.”

“There’s just so much,” you admitted quietly, allowing the tears to fall. “If I help everyone else, I don’t have to think about it.”

“Sweetheart…” He stepped closer and carefully cupped your face in his large, rough hands. “Ignoring the problems are just going to make it worse. Trust me, I’m the king of doing that.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just all too much, Logan… It’s all too much.” You broke down into sobs and Logan quickly pulled you into him, holding you close.

“I got you, sweetheart. I’ve got you.” 

Gently, Logan picked you up and carried you the rest of the way to your room. He tried to set you down on your bed but you gripped him tightly. He toed his boots off as he held you before moving to lay on the bed. 

“You can’t keep going like this, sweetheart,” he told you as you cried against him. “You’re wearing yourself down and it’s hurtin’ me to see.”

“I’m sorry,” you cried.

He shushed your apology. “Don’t do that.”

“Everything’s just so overwhelming… I’m so alone and I don’t know how to handle any of it.”

“I’m not goin’ to let you handle it alone anymore. I’m right here for you, sweetheart.”

You pushed yourself up to try to get off of Logan and shook your head. “No, I can’t put my burdens on you, Lo—“

“Stop that.” He pulled you back against him. “You can’t keep your burdens to yourself any longer. I’m here and willing.”

“Why?”

Logan looked at you and hesitated. How could he possibly tell you that he had a major crush on you when you were at such a low? He would have to wait and be okay with just being a friend for now.

“Because, sweetheart, I care about you,” he responded. “And I’m your friend. Let me help.”

You nodded. “And it all… won’t scare you away?”

“Never, darlin’. Nothing you could say would ever scare me away from you.”

Your breath caught at his words and the look in his eyes. You could see that he was serious and that there was something else behind it. You didn’t push though, not in the right mindset.

“I need you to stop holding it all in, sweetheart,” Logan continued. “I need you to be straight with me and allow me to help you.”

“I don’t know where to even start, Logan… Just the thought of any of it… I get emotional and I—“

“Calm down, darlin’. Breathe. We don’t have to talk about anything right now. Whenever you’re ready.” He kissed your head. “Right now, let me just hold you. Okay?”

You let yourself sink into him further, tears still slipping from your eyes. “What if I fall asleep?”

“Then I’ll hold you until you wake. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

[whiskeyskin]

Wild and Wanting

Premise: Halsin always puts others first, it's about time he feels like number one 😜🍑🫵

• Halsin x gn! reader • 18+ • Act 3

Reader POV, light Reader!Dom, submissive!Halsin, 69, oral both recieving, instructions, analingus, tossing the salad, eating cake, tonguing the chocolate starfish, you get the hint, he gets his ass ate right, it's about damn time.

3.8k words

Not my gif, but you're welcome for sharing Happy munching! 😏🍑🥴

_____________________________

Halsin's mouth and tongue expertly lavish your sex; sucking, licking and nibbling. It drives you beyond distraction.

You're trying to concentrate on pleasing him, using your own talents on his thick, lengthy cock. You suckle at his tip, twisting your wrist on his shaft, your other hand massaging his testicles.

He lays beneath you feasting open-mouthed and greedy. He laves his tongue up and down the length of you, knowing exactly how to use his large hands to bring you to ruin already.

You drool down on his cock in absent-minded delirium, gasping and panting.

He takes a breath and kisses the inside of your thighs, still using his glorious hand on you, then flicks his tongue against your taint. Your whole body twitches and you whine out a garbled moan.

"Mm, cum for me, my heart. I need your spent down my throat." He growls, returning to his ministrations, his intent tenfold.

With a soft, sucking pop his length falls from your mouth, as you moan wantonly.

He strokes in perfect pace, mouth working in spectacular rhythm. The pressure inside your head ready to burst, the coil tightening in your gut ready to spring.

Your whole body tenses, every nerve-ending on fire. Your moans of pleasure getting increasingly louder and breathless. Halsin ushers you towards the precipice and you tumble willingly into it's nothingness.

All thoughts leave your head, as your orgasm washes over you, radiating from your core; from Halsin's mouth.

He hungrily revels in the banquet of your release, drinking you down, never ceasing.

Your hips stutter and jerk against his mouth, as ragged breaths heave from your lungs. Sweat beading from your forehead and forming on your top lip.

He swallows every drop of you, with a few long swirls of his gifted tongue.

You collapse on top of him, leaning against the muscle of his thick thigh, your hot breath tickling his sac.

He pats you twice on the ass and chuckles deep from his chest, "Ahh, my heart. You came so hard for me, thank you." You hear the smile in his praise and thanks.

"That wasn't fair." You protest, rolling unceremoniously to land in a heap on the blankets below you.

He chuckles, sitting up, "Whatever do you mean?"

Eyes still unable to focus, you struggle to look up at him, bathed in the moonlight above you. The sounds of the forest returning to your ears instead of the sloppy, slurping noises of oral sex.

"You always make me cum first." You point out, still slightly winded.

His eyebrows shoot up his forehead, "And this is a bad thing?" He asks grinning, wiping a hand across his smeared chin. You purse your lips and irk a brow at him.

"Well, I can't complain when I'm in the moment.. but yes. Don't you want to be just a little bit selfish, sometimes?" You inquire, shrugging.

"Nope." He answers, definitively, clasping his hands together and bending a leg at the knee. He was still hard.

You run your tongue against your teeth, smirking in the face of his goading.

"In 350 years, you've never once just wanted to fuck for your pleasure alone?" You narrow your eyes playfully at him.

"I find pleasure in pleasing others. I cannot help how I am, nor do I intend to change." He states, curling himself around to be closer to you, "Does it bother you, love?"

"Not really. It's just.." you pause, measuring what you actually mean, "you've taken care of people for so long, always put them first and yourself second, or even third. Maybe for once, I want you to be put first." You implore, eyes insisting.

"I have no issues coming in second place, my heart." He says with a devilish moan, capturing your mouth in a consuming kiss.

He tries to move on top of you but you halt him, and push him back onto the grass.

"I wasn't finished," you smirk, a forceful hand pushing on his hairy, muscle-bound chest, "I couldn't even get a good rhythm going!" You exclaim with a faux pout, as you hook your leg over to straddle his impressive form.

He chuckles in reply, "I can't apologise for something I'm not ashamed of." He glides his calloused hands up the backs of your thighs and around the curve of your behind.

You smile back, "Well, I'm not one to leave a mission unfinished, so.." you press a kiss to his sternum, "just lie back and look at the stars, you'll be there soon." You promise with a salacious grin.

Halsin irks a brow and licks his bottom lip, "I have no doubt, my heart."

"I mean it," you sit up straighter, using his enormous pecks for leverage, "This is for you to lie back and indulge a little. A promise to take pleasure for yourself. Are you listening?" You insist, a slight jutt of your chin.

Another chuckle responds, a warm crinkle around his green hazel eyes, "Yes, heart. I'm listening, I promise."

"I'll hold you to your word, Halsin Silverbough." You purr, leaning down to kiss him again. A long, languid kiss of wet tongues and gasping moans. You taste yourself on his tongue and swear you can almost taste the warmth of honey on his lips.

Taking your time, you drag your mouth and tongue down his impossibly beautiful body, as he cranes his neck to watch you descend.

"You truly are the most beautiful man I've ever seen." You decide to tell him, keeping searing eye contact, trailing your wet tongue down the ridged plain of his torso.

You had beheld perfection in humanoid form before, but Halsin truly outclassed them all. His massive chest, muscular arms, thick thighs and tight butt; they could make a sinner convert to a life of piety.

He loves to deal out sweet, cherishing praise; you want him to experience the same.

"I doubt that but I appreciate your encouragement." He bats away your compliment with a shy shake of his head, as you shower his belly in long, languid kisses.

"I'm serious. You are sincerely spectacular. Your body, your face, your mind. The entirety of you is beyond anything I've ever witnessed."

His cock flexes against his lower belly, a line of precum beading between. You take the head in your hand and start to stroke him slowly.

"Th-thank you, my heart." He stutters, with a smile, his hands running the length of your arms.

"Your kindness, selflessness. Your wisdom and bravery. And these pretty little divets that lead so sweetly down." You croon, between kisses and suckles.

You lap your tongue along the bottom of his tip, wrapping your lips to encompass the girth of his long, thick erection. Halsin groans and pushes his hips up, rolling his head back with a throaty gasp.

Rolling your wrist over the head, using your mouth in tandem, you taste his desire for you. You release him with a satisfying pop, staring up at him over his heaving and hollowing chest.

"Gods, you taste so good." The salt of his skin is intoxicating, as you move to glide your mouth to the creases of his inner thighs.

"Mm, thank you, my heart. You feel extraordinary." He keens through a strained throat.

You flatten your tongue along the curve of his balls, first one side, then the other. Then gently sucking one at a time into your mouth, massaging them with your tongue.

Halsin groans as he bends his knees and opens his legs to allow better access.

"I'm going to take such good care of you, Halsin." Your hot breath teases his sensitive skin.

Laying on the layered blankets on the forest clearing floor; you lap at his testicles, suckling at them, flicking your tongue front to back. Every now and again, surfacing to slather his cock head with your eager tongue, your hand continuing a constant, teasing pace.

Halsin moans between tense lips, as he raises his hips, desperate for more friction.

A thought flashes across your mind, something you're pretty sure that he would be interested in trying with you.

"Love? Tell me if you want me to stop." You offer, before dipping your tongue underneath his sac, to push against his taint. Inviting, but not threatening, to go lower.

Halsin groans in agreement, "Mm, never.. never. Keep going. Yes." Pushing off his feet to grant a better angle.

You bite back a devious smirk, and tilt your head to suckle his perineum. Rearranging your non-dominant hand, you grasp at the meat of his buttcheeks.

Halsin makes a straining, encouraging noise from the back of his throat. Bolstered, you dip your tongue lower, between the tight crease of his cheeks. You press your tongue between the folds, flicking it firmly.

"Oh, Silvanus protect me." He sighs out quickly.

The precum on his head is gathering thick and fast, as you continue to stroke his huge cock.

"Is this something that you like, sweet thing?" You ask from between his tense thighs.

"It is, my heart. I don-don't like to ask," he falters as you dip your tongue once more, "Not everyone partakes in such activities."

"Well, aren't you a lucky boy?" You smirk with a playful tone, rolling your tongue the word.

"Every day since I met you." He chuckles, then hisses through his teeth, at the intensity of his lust.

"What do you want, love? Mouth, and fingers inside?" You check before proceeding.

"Yes.. yes.." he whispers breathlessly, fists grasping at the blankets beneath him.

"Say it. Own your needs." You order, your fingers lazily flicking the crease of his cheeks.

"T-Tongue. Tongue and fingers. Your mouth. Your hands.. please." He grumbles deeply, asking so nicely.

"Then I need you on all fours, sweet thing. I want to devour you." You purr his words back to him, teeth against his thigh. His eyes burn bright with excitement and desire, you bite your bottom lip with a scandalous grin. He responds with an equally devious smirk and huffing himself over with a ravenous growl, he obliges faithfully.

Apparently, the Elvish predilection of hairlessness extended to his asshole, if nowhere else.

You kneel backwards to reach towards the small picnic you'd brought yourselves, and retrieved his jar of lubricant. He hurriedly gathers the blanket toward him, to lean into the grass instead. Watching him get into position; he buries his face into his forearms and parts his legs, tilting his ass into the air.

You drink in the sight before you; the Ex-Archdruid of the Emerald Grove, splayed on all fours in front of you.

"Halsin." A wide, feral grin spreads across your face, "you look so damned good like this, arse in the air for me." You curl your lip through the words, catching them through a feral snarl. Halsin hums low appreciatively at your filthy words.

"Can I spank you, love?" You clarify, praying for him to agree.

"Not hard but yes." He answers from the grass.

You rub a cheek several times, then give a nice, satisfying slap and repeat twice more. Each time he twitches at the contact, groaning out; you moan with him, each time a little more exaggerated.

Reaching between his legs for his large, hanging erection, you find the tip already wet with precum. Halsin's body jerks and he lets out another long, hot moan into the ground.

You try to resist delving in deep already, only having enough strength to veer to the other ample cheek at the last second.

"Do you like baring yourself to me in this way, love? I can't wait to sink myself into your waiting hole." You keen, running your hands up the backs of his thigh, dangerously close to the valley of his yearning arsehole.

"Heart." Halsin growls a warning loudly and rounds his spine, shuddering. His body starts to glow and you back off before his nature takes over.

"It's alright, Halsin. Breathe, love." You instruct him gently, "breathe.."

He does as instructed, with apparent great difficulty. But despite his best efforts, he shifts to his bear form, leaves erupting outwards from impacting magic. Now looking at the behind of an enormous brown bear, you stifle a flattered, if not a little guilty, giggle.

"It's alright, love. I should've known. I'm sorry." You soothe, smoothing his rugged fur and moving to stand.

You walk to the side of him, running a hand softly and comfortingly along his flank. His big, sad eyes turn to look at you. He rumbles out a sad low grumble, and your chest inverts.

"Ohh, my beloved. It's alright. It can't be helped. You know I take it as a compliment." You shrug and smile warmly, stroking the softer fur of his face and shucking behind his ear.

He hoots with a toothy smile and shudders back to his original form.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry. It's why I don't.. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." he repeats over and over again, pushing off his hands.

"Hey. You don't apologise for something you're not ashamed of." You remind him, catching his face gently. He rewards you with a chuckle.

"My mistake." He jokingly chides himself, pushing breath through tight lips.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" You venture once more, kneeling back to join him at his original size, smoothing along the soft curve of his back, drawing soothing circles on his shoulder blade.

"I know it isn't your usual position - even though you look so exquisitely good in it." You add, pressing a kiss to his bicep.

"I made a promise. A promise to indulge my own pleasures," he states with conviction, "something I have not done for a very long time, and there is no one I trust more than you, in which to do so." He swallows, his soft earthen eyes boring into yours.

You tilt you head to the side and regard this creature of undiluted perfection before you, unable to quell the smile on your face, "I adore you," You reach up to kiss him, slow and soft, "Thank you for trusting me."

"Thank you, my heart. You have given an old Druid more happiness these last weeks than I've had in a long time." He curls his lips in, a melancholic yet wistful expression on his face.

"You are heavenly, you know that?" You inform him, pushing up to stand. You kiss him again, cupping his scarred and tattooed face, nudging his forehead with yours.

Walking to return to your spot, he surrenders himself back between his massive forearms. You reach toward the jar of lubricant and unscrew the lid, the gentle scent of chamomile in the air.

Kneeling back down, you prepare a healthy dose of lube on your first two fingers. Gently, you begin to stroke the cleft of his arse, slowly drawing wide circles around his arsehole.

He grinds his jaw together and his eyes flutter closed. He trembles a breath through his nose, stretching his neck from side to side.

"Say, 'Emerald' if you need to stop." You establish, softly applying more pressure with the two digits in smaller circles against his rim, "What do you say to stop?"

"Emerald." He responds dutifully, bowing his head and scrunching his face.

"Good lad." You reward him, with a surprising tap on his ass cheek. He rumbles a chuckle.

Settling yourself comfortably, you announce, "I'm going to eat your ass now." just before launching into the valley of Halsin's awaiting hole.

Forming plenty of salvia, you dive in to assault him with your tongue. Using your hands to spread his cheeks wider, you begin by licking the length from his taint up, then flicking your tongue against his entrance.

Halsin hollers out below you in abject agreement, "Yes, my heart. Yes. Thank you. Ahh !"

You take no time in burying your face between his ass cheeks; slurping and licking, while fondling his balls. Bracing yourself against the strength of his legs, you tongue over the sweet, sensitive rim.

The taste of his home remedy lube was helpfully very pleasant, as you feast on his exposed ass. You moan and vocalise, as you dine on his most intimate and hidden part. Poking your tongue just passed his tight entrance, fluttering it around the rim and massaging your hands across the meat of his ample behind.

Shaking and nodding your head, prodding your tongue further inside his taut hole and licking all around. You move back and spit against his clenched skin, lube-thickened rivulets of saliva coat his sac and drip onto the floor, as you slap his ass another twice.

He exclaims, nearly falling from his forearms.

"Gods, my sweet. Yes-yes. I feel your spit dripping down me. You feel incredible. Do not stop. Please." He begs, his voice already hoarse.

You make a noise in your throat that informs him, you aren't even started.

Settling lower in your position, you take your bracing hand and pause to daub your peace fingers with plentiful more lube and smear it where his muscled back curves to meet his succulent ass. Then take that hand to gently pull down on his testicles, squeezing them within your palm, massaging the weight of them.

Continuing your ministrations with your tongue, you collect the awaiting lube, adding the sensation of your fingers of your dominant hand slowly. Gently cycling your fingers around the curve of his coccyx, you palpate his soaked, engorged asshole.

His entrance flutters against your tongue, as his moans get increasingly more gruff and desperate.

"More. My heart. More. Inside. Please." He strains, breaths hissing through his bared teeth.

Moving your mouth to kiss the crease to his leg, you stroke your fingers down to align with his prepared entrance. Teasing slowly, you test him with your middle finger, dipping in and out and watching for his reaction.

A muffled high cry expells from him, as he twitches, "Ahh!"

"Breathe out for me, beloved." You coach, pausing your hand cupping his balls.

He obliges, taking in a deep inhale and slowly exhaling. Your middle finger slides in with a small amount of resistance.

Halsin gasps, and his head shoots up from between his arms, "Oh! Silvanus bless me. More. More." he pleads, growling.

Taking your other hand from his testicles, you add more lube for comfort, then add the second finger. Both slide in with pliant ease; Halsin's lubricated warmth surrounding your digits to the second knuckle.

Halsin makes a crackling gasp, "Gods !"

"You're doing so well, love." You adorn him, delicately sliding your fingers in to the hilt.

You reach between his legs to tease his shaft with light, squeezing touches.

Halsin whines out a shudder, "Mm-argh. I want to fuck you. I want to fuck you. Please. Let me. I'll-ngh." He rambles, slamming a fist to the ground.

"This isn't about me, this is for you. Or trust me, I'd be riding you already." You moan, he joins in with a wanting groan.

"Seeing you like this as I fuck your ass with my fingers. It's so fucking hot, Halsin." You start to thrust your fingers inside his asshole, curling down to hit his special spot.

He trembles out a call to the sky in Elvish, seemingly unable to speak Common.

"I'm going to take care of you, protect you, adore you and shower you in pleasure." You softly squeeze his sac again, "I need you to cum for me, Halsin. I want you to cum."

You reach around his hips and firmly grasp his massive cock; precum leaks in an extortionate amount from the slit. Your sex painfully twinges from how much this has been driving him insane.

Taking no time and giving no mercy; you stroke his cock hard and fast, simultaneously stuffing your fingers deep in his snug asshole.

His entire body roils, his muscles bunch and he cries out into the dirt. His giant hands carving monstrous rivets in the earth beneath him.

His sphincter clenches down on your plunging fingers, his hips sputtering. You can feel the notch of his prostate underneath your fingerpads, the thick pulsing veins of his enormous cock in your hand.

He was on the verge.

"I'm going to count you down, sweet thing.. and you're going to cum for me. You're going to scream nice and loud, and cum so hard you can't walk. Understand, love?" You urge, with a commanding tone.

Halsin barely acknowledges, save for affirmative grunts and pants, through a delirious grin.

"Five.."

His hole quivers around your pounding digits.

"Four.."

His gargantuan length pulses in your hand.

"Three.."

His back arches and his arse pushes higher in the air.

"Two.."

There's not a sound but the debauched sound of your hammering his abused hole and pumping his humongous cock. His ragged breaths and choked moans echo through the forest, as he patiently abides until he's told to cum.

You purse your lips around a pleased smile. Holding him on the very knife edge of his orgasm. He whimpers and growls from the back of his throat, his body and soul ready to explode on your order.

Damn. Even like this, he still brought you pleasure.

"One."

It all happens at once, but almost in slow motion.

Halsin roars in jubilant euphoria, straining and tearing his throat, pouring out semi-sensical gratitudes, "YES! YES! Ngh. All for you. All for you, my heart. Allforyou. Yes-yes-yes !"

His hole clenches and suckers onto your talented fingers, as you drive them inside his pulsating walls. Hot, white ropes of seed spatter onto the lush greenery below him, with a force backed by nature itself.

His hips jerk and sputter as he drains himself on the floor, his hole flutters around your digits and his body turns gelatinous.

"All for you.. all for you.." he mumbles, collapsing aside to the ground, your fingers slipping out of his supplicant hole with ease, "thankyou.. thankyou." He choruses, barely able to separate the words.

Thoroughly pleased with yourself at the current state of the proud Druid Elf laying blissed before you, you press a kiss to his thigh and pat it twice with the heel of your hand.

"Well done, my heart. You came so hard for me, thank you." You callback to his words earlier in the evening.

His chuckles, a little higher in his register than usual. "Clever little thing."

You shuffle to the pack nestling in the tree roots and find dampened tissues to clean your lubed fingers, and turn back to Halsin; who is now laying splayed on his back, staring at the stars.

You smile at him, tilting your head; you truly do adore this sweet, large Elf.

You don't pull that out for just anyone.

You needed to be careful though, or this would end in disaster.

He was explicit in what his expectations were in this arrangement and you needed to temper your growing feelings.

Leaning forward, you wipe his softening member clean of excess and throw the tissues crumpled together back near the pack.

"You were right, my love." He began, a drowsy, satisfied tone in his voice, "I am with the stars." He grins broadly, limbs stretched wide.

You snort a laugh and wind your way towards him.

"See, isn't it fun to be a little selfish sometimes?" You remarked, playing idly with his chest hair.

Halsin labourously tilts his head to you and smiles, "If it feels like that, I should have done so a long time ago."

•°•°•

Phew ! Ready for more? I've got lots more to share 😏😅

[metallicames]

Heyyy, can i request a smut with James from the early 80s? I want it rough, with choking and manhandling pleaseeee

i need it, he's too hottt

In the early 80s James looked like a cinnamon roll who could also destroy you if he wanted to!

A/n: usually I don't take requests since I'm afraid of misinterpreting them or not being inspired enough but this one 🤤 hope you like it.

Bad Girl

Warnings: dirty talking, unprotected sex, rough sex, choking, grammatical errors.

I had been waiting for the day off for a week and instead I ended up taking inventory at my brother's bar, he is out of town for commissions so today it's my turn. I take a deep breath, I enter the bar, check the list on the counter and go down to the cellar outside the bar.

The day is hot, muggy, I struggle up the stairs with a case of beer, “Hey! Y/N? Right!?” The unexpected voice makes me jump, I turn around and see the guy who often performs at the bar with his band who is using the recording studio next door, “Oh my god!! You scared me! Yes right.. James!?” he gives me a dazzling toothy smile, I put down the case of beer, huffing and trying to fix the strands of hair that are falling messily from my ponytail. "Aren't you closed on Tuesday?" he asks as he approaches me, it makes me strange to see him in the light of day and above all sober, every time he comes to the bar with his friends he is out of control and I lose count of how many beers he orders.

I must say he has a certain effect on me, he is a really good looking guy, tall, tanned and has a penetrating gaze that enchant me.

“Usually yes, but today I have to sort out some things.. it'll be a long day… are you going to the studio?” I ask him, inevitably looking at him and letting my gaze fall on his excessively tight jeans. "Yes, as usual I'm the first, I'll have to wait a bit..can I give you a hand?"

I accept the help, James lifts the case and takes it to the bar. We start talk about music and random stuff and after at least ten trips back and forth we end up exhausted and sweaty.

"Shall we have a drink?" I ask him out of breathe "Sure! You already know what I'm getting!”. Every time he smiles I feel a strange sensation come over me, if I have to be honest he has always had a certain effect on me and being alone with him amplifies the perception. While I pour the beers I feel his gaze focused on me, there is a few moments of silence interrupted by James' words "You're sexy behind the counter..well, you are sexy in general to be fair" I remain still with my back to him, a wave of heat pervade me and reach my cheeks, I laugh at his comment trying not to give it too much weight. I hand him the beer and he blocks my wrist with his hand staring at me with his amazing blue eyes slightly covered by a lock of blonde hair, he leans over the counter and unexpectedly kisses me. I remain stuck almost petrified, I would never have expected a thing like that but I'm more than happy about how things are turning out.

I let myself go and kiss him back, our tongues meet and taste eachother, his hand ends up behind my neck pulling me towards him, there's an immediate connection and I feel completely comfortable with him.

Shortly after I find myself lying one of the tables near the counter, his hands touch me everywhere, exploring every inch of my body, his breathing is heavy and punctuated by sighs as his fingers stop on the buttons of my shirt before tearing it off without regard, exposing my breasts wrapped in the lace bra. I feel James' face sinking between my breasts, kissing and biting them passionately, as if he hadn't been waiting for anything else for a long time. With one leg he spreads my thighs by applying pressure with his knee, pressing his body against mine. The sensation of the hard and cold surface of the table against my back and James' erection between my legs turn on all my senses.

I thread my fingers through James' hair while he is intent on kissing me everywhere, slowly going down towards my groin. I pull his shirt with my hands towards me so that he can take it off quickly. Seeing him like this, half naked on top of me and smelling his scent makes me understand how much he has always turned me on, every night I saw him perform on stage I felt butterflies in my stomach and I tried to repress the feeling thinking that he would never even notice me and instead now he is here in front of me, just for me.

While I enjoy the sensation of his lips on my skin with a sudden movement he lowers my shorts and thong, but before dropping it to the ground he does something that will always remain imprinted in my mind: he brings it to his face and smells it for a few seconds closing his eyes emitting a light low and deep moan and then moving down towards my groin raising my legs with both hands before starting to kiss my clit causing shivers throughout my body. While he is intent on eating me I lose all inhibitory restraints, I want nothing else in this moment other than the sensation of his mouth on my pussy, his eyes on me and his hand on my breast. “Fuck.. this feels too good” I sigh between moans as I feel his tireless tongue moving in and out of my slit.

While I'm lost in the moment James pulls away from me, takes me from the hips and turns my back, without saying anything just letting out a low growl, I hear the sound of his belt being undone I look at him from the corner of my eyes over my shoulder, I can tell he's as excited as I am by his movements and the way his chest rises and falls deeply. “I've thought about putting you in this position a lot or times” he tells me as he rubs his tip along my folds before entering me with a quick gesture. My instant reaction is to hold on to the edge of the table as I let out a muffled moan, his rough and wild nature has always had an effect on me and now he can express it best and I certainly won't resist.

His thrusts are strong and energetic, I feel his cock reaching the bottom, widening my walls in a continuous and delicious way and the thing that sends me even more into ecstasy is his strong grip on my hair, he pulls them just enough to make me arch my back, "ohhh fuck yeah.. you like that huh?" he pants, holding a hand tight on my hip.

"God y-yess" I can barely say as my eyes roll back in my head. I feel myself getting close to my release, each thrust hitting the right spot that makes me lose my mind, “Choke me” I whine as he continues to hit me “Choke me?? I knew you were a bad girl!!” He squeezes my neck with one hand forcing me to arch my back even more until his grip is strong enough to make me stand up from the table. My back is now against his chest, I can barely breathe "do you like it like this?? Look how much you love getting fucked like a needy slut in your brother's bar.. does he know you're that nasty?” the way he whispers in my ear and his hand tightened around my neck are all I need to come shaken by spasms so strong that I feel my legs give way and James promptly surrounds me with an arm around my waist, decreasing the rhythm of his thrusts but continuing to penetrate me to the hilt until he comes out of me and I slowly try to catch my breath.

"On the couch, now!" he orders slapping me with an open hand on the buttock, I love how he takes control over me and the best thing is, I didn't think I needed it.

I still feel dazed but I head towards the couch sitting on the edge while I feel my humidity expanding along my thighs, James positions himself in front of me, the sweat flows from his toned and tanned chest along his abdomen down to his crotch making him even hotter.

I get closer to his cock and looking up at him I start to lick it while simultaneously sliding my hand along its length: “ yes just like that... take it all, like the dirty needy girl that you're ...c'mon”.

As my pace increases, so do his moans and the obscenities come out of his mouth without control as he pushes my head against his pubis not caring that I'm literally suffocating. The moment I feel his cock throb and swell against my throat James moves away, lowers himself and forcefully pulls me towards him from the hips remaining on his knees on the floor while my back is resting against the edge of the couch. He penetrates me reaching the bottom, my still sensitive pussy welcomes him squeezing him making him let out a low moan: "this pussy is perfect..f-ffuck I'm loosing my mind.." he let out while my breasts bounce in rhythm with his increasingly faster movements, my hands end up on his ass, squeezing it and pushing it even further towards me.

A drop of sweat falls from his forehead ending up on my chin: "shit.. I'm soaked" he breathe out, without even thinking about it I lick it smiling at him, I've reached a point where I want everything about him, literally everything, is as if it's making a primordial instinct of mine resurface.

“God I'm so close.. i'm gonna explode.. mmmh” the rhythm of his breaths increases, he grinds his teeth and shortly after I feel a hot jet filling me until it comes out and wets my thighs. My hands loosen their grip on his buttocks, James slowly stops, I take the opportunity to move my hips up and down a little more, crossing my arms behind his neck enjoying the last moments of our connection "ohhh yess.. mmmh fuck" I can't get enough of his moans.

"you're so hot James..." I sigh as a hand caresses his face and then passes through his golden hair, we lose ourselves in a slow and sensual kiss while I still feel him inside me.

“You too.. you looked so innocent and shy.. it drives me crazy to see that you are as eager and horny as me… you match my dirty mind” his words accompanied by his caresses are like a warm cuddle in stark contrast to the rough and wild sex of a few moments before.

We lie on the couch for a few moments, enjoying the sight of our naked, sweaty and satisfied bodies, until James starts to get dressed.

"See you in the next few days? I mean.. if you like, only the two of us.." His question takes me by surprise but I let out a pleased smile. "Why not?!.. Friday at 2 pm I have a break for a couple of hours so.." I feel myself blushing slightly for no reason as I talk to him. "Perfect.. see you on Friday then." He winks at me and walks out the door.

I stay on the couch for a while longer, staring at the ceiling and thinking about what just happened with an idiotic smile on my face.

[sgtpeppers]

Paul McCartney & Memory Almost Full (2007): A Reconciliation of ‘Him’ and ‘Me’

"When you talk about Paul McCartney, I talk about the guy inside me, but you’re talking about him - the guy who goes onstage and makes records and stuff. And I think it’s just a way of preserving my sanity really, is thinking ‘I’m not really that, I’m just some little kid from Liverpool really. I didn’t do all that stuff. It’s a dream really and it’s gonna stop soon."

Paul McCartney, Flaming Pie Press Kit Interview, 1997

Thematically, Memory Almost Full is probably one of the easiest Paul albums to talk about, because it's not exactly subtle. It's there in the title, in the lyrics, and in the way Paul talks about it, but I think it's still worth pulling it apart a bit.

In short, it's album that looks to the past in an attempt to get to grips with it.

Paul often talks about needing some separation in his head from Paul the celebrity and Paul in private, but this album goes some way to reconciling those separate versions of himself, giving him a moment to step back and look back at his life and the effect on the man he's become, before swinging the camera in the opposite direction and asking what comes after that.

Secondly, there's a thread running through this album which is somewhat contradictory to the idea that he struggles to put all the pieces of himself together, one that describes a man who does know who he is, and in very confident in that and in his ability to make his own decisions.

This is a track by analysis of the album, examining lyrics as well as Paul's comments about the songs.

Background on the album:

Memory Almost Full began life in 2003 and was produced by David Kahne. The first batch of sessions were around the time that Paul and Heather's child was born, so it's easy to see already why Paul may have been in a reflective mood. The medley songs, as well You Tell Me, Only Mama Knows, and The End of The End were recorded then.

Paul then took a break to record Chaos and Creation In The Backyard which was released in 2005. Paul then returned to Memory Almost Full over 2006 and 2007, in the midst of his divorce with Heather. Again, like with the birth of a child, the ending of marriage is the sort of life changing event you'd expect to cause someone to start contemplating their past, present and future.

Track Analysis:

Dance Tonight:

Okay so starting off this track really isn't that deep, but it does have a sweet little story behind it:

At home, I started stomping around the kitchen, playing this little instrument, just enjoying myself. I sang, ‘Everybody gonna dance tonight’ and my little girl came running in and started dancing, so I fell in love with the song. In fact, I liked it so much I ran into the studio to record it, and stuck it on the album. It seemed like a good atmospheric opening.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

The interesting thing to note here is that he is starting off the album with a sense of 'now'. This is him, in the present, with one of his kids loving a song and rushing to the studio to record it. He starts off the album with 'this is where I'm at'.

Ever Present Past:

Which brings us nicely to the first track of the album that really kicks off this exploration of Paul's past and linking it to how things are in the present.

I don't want to do Paul a disservice here but this is one of those tracks where he says he doesn't read too much into it:

There’s no deep meaning in it. I think what happens with me is that I just write something and people read into it. I like that, because often you do things in a subliminal way and don’t realise what you’re doing.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

So I'm gonna do the reading into it for him, because it fits too well with the album to just ignore it. It is a song about this huge, unbelievable life he's lived that is impossible for him escape from, because no matter how much he wants to compartmentalise, his past is his.

Searching for the time that has gone so fast The time that I thought would last My ever present past

Ever Present Past Lyrics

There's a sense of it slipping away, of something being gone, and yet of it being still very present. I often get the sense Paul is someone who is constantly at odds with himself, and I think you get that here; a struggle between wanting to hold onto the past while also feeling that it's an overwhelming thing to accept is his.

And when you also look at the video, where Paul literally comes face to face with another version of himself, we return to that idea that he is most comfortable when he separates the performer 'him' to the private 'me', and playing into that idea of his duality.

In this song we also touch on this idea of Paul being very sure of himself, and this isn't him talking about himself now. This is him saying that he's always been one to walk his own path. We'll come back to this in a bit.

I wouldn't join in with the games that they were playing.

Ever Present Past Lyrics

See Your Sunshine:

That is pretty much an out-and-out love song for Heather. A lot of the album was done before, during and after our separation. I didn’t go back and take out any songs to do with her. That one was written during a good time with Heather. I don’t want to deny those times. When you’re going through a separation it’s always tempting to put all that behind you, but I don’t think that’s right.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Mirror, 2007

I love that Paul included this song rather than scrapping it. By the time the album came out him and Heather were in the midst of their divorce, which wouldn't be settled until the following year. It would have been easy to leave it, or to do the thing he's done with a lot of his love songs and say it's not really for any particular person, but instead he's clear that this was about a good time with Heather and despite everything else that happened, that's still important.

And so while the lyrics themselves don't add much to the theme, I think its inclusion makes it reflective, and it makes it a piece of his history that he is able to say is his and was an important part of his life.

Only Mama Knows:

This is one of Paul's story songs, and there's a few important things here even if again, the lyrics themselves aren't totally on theme.

I like to get into those imaginary stories, then follow them through and become that character. The lead character in this song is someone who was left by his mother, doesn’t know why she left him and doesn’t know if he’ll ever see his father’s face. It’s interesting because it takes you out of yourself. You can become an alter ego. It doesn’t have to be Paul McCartney singing it – it can be this other guy singing.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

Once I start writing about that I obviously come to it from my own perspective. I'm just acknowledging that the kid whose Mother left him has got more problems than the average person in life.

Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021

So first of all, this song is based on a real person, a friend of Paul's who was adopted as a baby after being left by his Mother. So I don't want to take away from that, but art and storytelling doesn't just have to come from one inspiration and as he also says, he comes at this from his own perspective. Therefore, it's hard not to tie in the fact that in a different way, he was 'left' by his Mother when she died and then there's also the fact that John has a remarkably similar story of being left by his parents as what's described in the song. In a round about way, I think this is Paul's nod back to those teenage years and sense of loss and grief which was prevalent in him and the people around him.

The other interesting thing to me is "You can become an alter ego. It doesn’t have to be Paul McCartney singing it – it can be this other guy singing". Again, Paul separating himself into two, taking the chance to stand in someone else's shoes, but specifically on a song that understandably may bring up difficult emotions for him.

You Tell Me:

Carrying on the darker mood of the album, we get to what producer David Kahne described as "maybe the saddest song he’s ever written" (x).

I started off just remembering summers: ‘Were we really there?’ ‘Was it real?’ Sometimes, for a lot of people, memories – particularly childhood memories – seem so golden and you think, ‘Did it really not rain all summer or am I just imagining the sunny bits?’

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

In You Tell Me Paul is repeatedly asking the person he's singing to to confirm that the way he remembers things it right, because it seems like it was too good to be true.

Were we there, was it real? Is it truly how I feel? Maybe You tell me

You Tell Me lyrics

It's melancholic and uncertain, there's so much doubt laced through the song and directly ties back to Ever Present Past and the idea that he's "searching" for his past, and that it went "too fast". Compared to a lot of the tracks on this album, it's stripped back with a huge feeling of vulnerability coming from Paul not even trusting himself that what happened, really happened.

Mr Bellamy:

Am I really gonna tie Mr Bellamy in with this whole thing? Yes I absolutely am because for me this is one of those songs that sums up that second thread I was talking about at the start - confident, knows exactly who he is Paul. "I wouldn't join in with the games that they were playing" Paul from EPP.

I wanted some lyrics that would poke in and out of the riff, so I began with, ‘I’m not coming down, no matter what you say, I like it up here.’ Sometimes I don’t actually know where I’m going, so then I look at just what that verse is, and in this case I got a picture of a guy sitting on top of a skyscraper and all the people in the street – the rescue team, the psychiatrist, the man with the megaphone shouting: ‘Don’t jump’ and the people shouting: ‘Jump’. So I fished around for a name and came up with Bellamy, which sounded like someone who might want to jump. And I just followed the story through. The end is like a pull back with a camera – there he is, little Bellamy sitting on the ledge, enjoying it up in the clouds.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

So Mr Bellamy tells the story of a man sitting up on a roof, with everyone below him panicking and telling him not to jump. The opening lyrics, repeated towards the end are:

I'm not coming down No matter what you do I like it up here Without you

My Bellamy Lyrics

My reading on this song is that it's not about someone who's actually going to jump, I've always felt more like Bellamy just wants to be left the fuck alone, for people to stop interfering so he can enjoy the view. He likes it up there.

This is very Paul to me. His decisions have always been his own, to the point where he has been labelled as 'controlling' by people who have worked with him, but I think the other side of that is that he can say with certainty that everything he's done is his and I think that's really important to him.

What this song does very well (apart from being fun because who doesn't love Paul doing silly voices) is contrast with the previous uncertainty about himself in You Tell Me. He's taken us from a place of needing external validation, to a place where he (or, yeah yeah whatever, 'Mr Bellamy') knows exactly what he wants to do and doesn't need to hear other people opinion's.

Gratitude:

So the mood starts shifting into more upbeat Paul here, but I do think there's a slightly odd contrast between the song and what Paul says about the song.

Before I looked this up I assumed this was a Heather song because it reads as someone looking back on a relationship that has ultimately gone wrong, but still being grateful for the good times (therefore, tying in with See Your Sunshine). Considering it was one of the later songs worked on, so Paul and Heather would have been separated by the time it was recorded, that makes sense to me. Also if we take a look at the lyrics, I think they very much allude to how Paul was feeling after Linda's death:

Well I was lonely I was living with a memory But my cold and lonely nights ended When you sheltered me

Gratitude lyrics

And then the relationship falls apart:

I should stop loving you Think what you put me through But I don't want to lock my heart away

Gratitude lyrics

But then we have what Paul's said about the song:

I’ve always had a couple of voices. Originally you’re just a kid at home, like everyone else, and then you start to dream of being a singer. My heroes then were rock ’n’ rollers, so my ballad voice was based on Elvis and the screamy voice was me trying to be Little Richard. I loved him so much. When I joined the Beatles, John used to like that and it’s stayed with me as something I enjoy doing – that gritty, souly voice. So on this track I was just thinking of how much there is to be grateful for in life, and I wanted to put that into song and use the gritty voice to do it with.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

It's one of his more vague answers, and maybe he just doesn't wanna talk about it which is fair enough. But to me the song seems to be directed at a person rather than life in general. Either way, we have Paul looking back on something and being grateful for it and the positive impact it had on him, rather than trying to separate himself from it.

What's also of note here, is the thing about wanting to do a song using his Little Richard voice, and how in talking about that he links back to The Beatles. We're getting more specific about where in Paul's past we're talking about now which means...

The Medley

There is a medley of 5 songs towards the end and that was purposefully retrospective. I thought this might be because I’m at this point in my life, but then I think about the times I was writing with John and a lot of that was also looking back. It’s like me with ‘Penny Lane’ and ‘Eleanor Rigby’ – I’m still up to the same tricks!

Paul McCartney, introducing Memory Almost Full, 2007

I hadn’t done that since Abbey Road and I thought it would be quite nice to flirt with that idea again. It just means it’s a slightly longer form. You’ve got to think, ‘What came before?’ ‘What statement are you going to make now?’ ‘How’s this going to lead on?’ It’s not that different from just sequencing an album, but you suddenly think of them as a suite of songs, and it’s interesting to write them in that way.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

So I think the entire album was built around this medley. As mentioned earlier, they were the first songs recorded and it seems he consciously went into it aiming to toy with that Abbey Road idea, another pointed link back The Beatles.

Vintage Clothes:

For me this is about my clothes from the Sixties and the fact that what’s out comes back – fashion going round in circles. I meet quite a few young guys in bands and a question they always ask is, ‘Did you keep the clothes?’ As a matter of fact I did. The Beatles had a tailor, Dougie Millings – he’s in a scene in A Hard Day’s Night. Instead of just going to get a suit as you did before, for a job interview or whatever, suddenly you were going to get epaulettes and fancy buttons, materials and linings. That to me is where the song is coming from. The message is: vintage clothes are great but don’t live in the past.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

So there's a very literal reading of him actually singing about old clothes and wearing them again (which he does!) but he does go a little bit deeper when talking about the song, with the idea of not "living in the past". I wonder if that's how he justifies trying to keep that separation in place sometimes, that it's for his own good because because dwelling on things that have happened won't change them, but I also think this lyric is significant:

A little worn A little torn Check the rack What went out is coming back

Vintage Clothes lyrics

He tells us that "fashion goes round in circles" but I also like a deeper meaning to this, something about your past catching up with you perhaps, which would tie in nicely with the rest of the album. But, even as a song that is literally about his old clothes, it sets the tone for the medley and and the following song, which I kinda think is the entire point of the album.

That Was Me:

Yes, Paul! It was! You really did all that! That Was Me takes us back to Liverpool and through The Beatles, and is the triumphant, proud acceptance that it was 'me', no long talking about Performer Paul in the third person.

All I had to do for this song was to think back. And immediately I go back to Liverpool, where there was a little place we could escape to, beautiful little woods where, come springtime, there would be these carpets of bluebells. It was a magical place. There’s something about me at the bus stop that’s a big part of my memories – going to school, coming home from school, going to the pictures, going to your friend’s house. So all of these things got in there. ‘The cellar’ is the Cavern, ‘Royal Iris’ is a ferry boat they had – they’d call them riverboat shuffles, and some of our earliest gigs were on them. So these are just exciting memories of mine, and I connected them.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

The same me that stands here now And when I think that all this stuff Can make a life, it's pretty hard to take it in That was me

That Was Me lyrics

So we're back to confidant Paul, Paul who knows who he is and is willing to point at The Beatles and say that was me no matter how unbelievable it all was. In classic Paul style though, the song is happy, upbeat, and a collection of what he calls "exciting" memories, rather than dwelling on the hard bits which I think he has much more difficulty doing.

Feet In The Clouds:

But talking of more difficult memories, we get to the song about his school days.

Because of the retrospective mood of this medley, it then goes back to school and teachers. I had a real motley bunch of teachers at the Liverpool Institute High School for Boys. Some of them were complete maniacs. Whereas I wrote about golden summers in You Tell Me, school was very dark and gloomy. The building itself wasn’t the lightest of places – it was built in 1825. This seemed to affect the attitude of the teachers. They were a dark bunch of people. So the song is like a therapy session for me.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

I love the concept of this song and the flipping round of the well known phrase "head in the clouds".

I've got my feet in the clouds Got my head on the ground

Feet In The Clouds lyrics

To me it goes back to that idea of Paul always walking his own path, even if it's not the normal one, he's not just subverting a well known saying but the literal imagery speaks of the same thing. His head is on the ground, giving the idea of his thoughts being 'grounded' but his feet are the ones doing their own thing, going where they're not supposed to. Getting him away from school perhaps, but also treading a path other people haven't walked which is exactly what he did. So it serves as a retrospective piece but also tying up that thread Paul does and has always known who he is and what he wants, no matter what other people were telling him.

House of Wax:

My personal favourite on the album, god I love this song and the mood it creates. On the first listen you may think... what's this got to do with this 'retrospective medley' Paul's talking about, but we actually get some surprisingly helpful insight from The Lyrics.

You get on a train of thought, and things just come in without you noticing. The poets are about “To set alight the incomplete / Remainders of the future’. I think that’s just a way of saying ‘to clarify things’.

Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021

I had this little idea that the ‘remainders of the future’ were sort of buried in the yard, just like hidden treasure. Meaning that we don’t know what’s going to happen.

Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, 2021

So we've got these ideas of clarifying things, making them less confusing, combined with the future being unknowable. This is Poet Paul, and whilst I don't think this song needs to anything more than it is, knowing his intention with those lyrics does tie into the themes of trying realign with his past, and also of living a life where another crazy thing can be just around the corner...

The End Of The End:

For example, the fact Paul is going to die one day. I know, I don't want to think about it either. But Paul was certainly thinking about it and wrote a whole about what he hopes will happen, how he hopes he's remembered for the good times, for the songs and the stories and happy memories.

On the day that I die I'd like jokes to be told And stories of old To be rolled out like carpets That children have played on And laid on while listening To stories of old

The End Of The End lyrics

At the end of the end It's the start of a journey To a much better place And this wasn't bad So a much better place Would have to be special No need to be sad

The End Of The End lyrics

It's classic Paul taking a sad song and making it better. After an album of looking back on a life that's hard to grapple with and of relationships that have stopped working, Paul changes to the perspective from looking back to looking forward, and decides that hey, this has all been pretty good. And even when contemplating death, he brings in that classic Paul optimism - if this has been good, imagine how much better the next thing will be.

Nod Your Head:

And then, because it's Paul and he can't just end things there, he needs to bring the mood up again. There's not a huge amount to say for me personally, so I'll end with Paul's own words before I wrap things up:

Well, that End Of The End brought the party down, didn’t it? It was going to be the last track on the album, but we thought we couldn’t leave everyone going, ‘Oh God, I’m not going to listen to that again.’ So we had a little stompy rocker called Nod Your Head and we thought we’d let them off the hook. I think it’s good to talk about difficult subjects and then to get off it and just rock out. So that was the feel of making the album. Get some personal thoughts out (Gratitude, The End Of The End), talk about my childhood, talk about love, about beautiful memories. Try and get everything said, but with a feeling of optimism and enthusiasm. I thought if I could accomplish it all then that would be a good thing to do.

Paul McCartney, interview with The Daily Mail, 2008

The Title

Memory Almost Full is probably one of my favourite album names because it's so perfect. It's that imagery of a life well lived with lots of memories, but it was also a phrase Paul picked up from seeing it on his phone, which is a nice little link to his present day. Although, thankfully eighteen years later he's still cramming those memories in.

One extra little thing:

Some people mentioned that the album’s title, Memory Almost Full, is an anagram of “for my soulmate LLM” (the initials of Linda Louise McCartney). When asked if this was intentional, McCartney replied; “Some things are best left a mystery“. In an interview with Pitchfork Media, McCartney clarified, “I must say, someone told me [there is an anagram], and I think it’s a complete mystery, because it’s so complete. There does appear to be an anagram in the title. And it’s a mystery. It was not intentional.

(x)

Conclusion (yes, I'm stopping soon 😭)

To me, Memory Almost Full is thematically one of Paul's most cohesive albums, and he's being very transparent with what he's doing. I'm not saying he should all feel sorry for Paul because he's Too Famous, but I do think it's understandable that everything he's done is inconceivable in hindsight, and he finds it much easier to put those parts of his life in boxes.

It's a contradictory album in a lot of ways, but Paul has always been a bit contradictory, pulled between who he is and who he thinks other people want him to be, being very aware of the paths people are expected to take and then choosing to take his own. This is an album that speaks to that, that speaks to the kid in Liverpool with big dreams and those dreams being completely mindboggling when he got them, of a man who sometimes looks back and struggles to accept those things happened to him, and is at the same extremely proud of what he's achieved.

I guess my point is, if you haven't listened to the album yet, you should go and do that now.

And if you've made this far thank you and ily <3

[marauder-misprint]

Hiii! So I wanted to request a Remus fic where the reader is really cheerfull flirty outgoing physical with everybody and bubbly but her English is not that good. If her native language would be hungarian would be great. So she sorta struggles. And like fluff. I'm so sorry if I come off as rude. 🫶

Hi! Thank you for this request and I'm sorry it took me a while to write it. I really hope you like it and that the Hungarian isn't too horrible. And your request isn't rude at all ❤︎ All of the Hungarian words/phrases are translated at the bottom

Édesem

Remus Lupin x Hungarian!reader

2.5k words

cw: fluff :), Hungarian from Google Translate

So many people loved you at Hogwarts. You sported a bright smile everywhere you went. If someone forgot their quill, you let them borrow one of yours. They forgot their book? You offered to share yours. When your words didn’t fail you, you were the first to compliment people when they gave an insightful answer or looked especially nice or whatever could earn them a compliment. You were also quick to offer hugs and high fives, to give someone a kiss on the cheek as a thank you, to ‘boop’ someone’s nose or ruffle their hair. 

Your biggest issue? English wasn’t your first language. It meant you missed things in class and in passing with other students. Maybe that was part of why your smile was so prominent. You didn’t get half of the negative things that gossiped about. You could live in your world at times and spread the positivity that you saw. 

But then Professor Flitwick held you back after class. He had your most recent essay in front of him and a frown on his face. 

“This essay is simply illegible,” he said.

You mimicked his frown as you looked at your impeccable handwriting. 

“Mit?” 

“It’s incomprehensible. Makes no sense.”

“Ah. Can I… ah, írj… write again?” 

“Yes, I was going to ask you to. With the help of Remus Lupin. He’ll meet you in the library tonight after dinner.”

He handed you the essay. You reread your work. You thought that it made sense, but apparently not. You tucked it into your bag and offered the professor your thanks before leaving his classroom. For the rest of your day whenever you had downtime in classes, you took out the essay and reread what you wrote, trying to see where you had room for improvement. Something must’ve gotten dropped or left out during your translating. It’s your main focus for all of dinner, making it easier to block out the conversations that are happening around you. 

You hugged your friends after you were done eating. You’d see them in the common room later and now, you needed to go to the library. You quickly scanned the library when you got there, trying to see if Remus was there already. You found him at a table near the back. 

“Remus, hi!” you said as you sat down right night to him, moving your chair as close to him as you could and knocking your knees together.

The look he gave you was unreadable. You were blissfully unaware of how your closeness and brief moment of touching threw him off. He was relatively closed off to anyone who wasn’t a close friend. As bubbly and sociable as you were, you didn’t qualify.

“Rewriting that essay for Flitwick, right?” he asked before subtly moving his chair away from you.

“Yes! Thank you for help.” 

You pulled out your first attempt of the essay along with your Charms book, fresh parchment, your quill and ink. Everything you needed. 

“And….” you muttered to yourself as you grabbed your Hungarian to English dictionary that you carried with you. “Okay. Where do we start?”

“May I read what you wrote?” Remus asked, slowly reaching for your essay.

You slid it toward him with your hand barely brushing his. While he took the time to read your essay and occasionally scribble notes in the margins, you opened your textbook to the section you were supposed to be using. The air was still for a few minutes. You prepared to rewrite an entire essay and handle the criticism. 

Remus cleared his throat when he finished reading. He placed the essay down back in front of you. 

“It’s not bad, but I agree with Flitwick. There are sections that, erm, I can’t read. I noted which ones.” He reached to point to what he was referring to. “But the overall content is fine.”

You placed your hand over his. “You think so?” 

“Wouldn’t have it if I didn’t mean it.” 

You read over his notes and started to rewrite your essay. Remus watched you work for a few minutes before he took out his assignments to work on. He snuck glances at you, telling himself that he was just checking your progress. It definitely wasn’t to watch you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as you focused. It wasn’t to see you twist your lips as you reread your essay and his notes. And he most certainly didn’t smile at the way the candle light made your eyes shine. 

“I think… I think I fixed it? Can you read?” you asked, setting your quill down.

“Erm, yeah. Yeah, I can read it.”

Remus set aside his own work and took your essay. Without the confusing segments, the essay was much better. Remus nodded, giving it back to you once he finished reading it. 

“Flitwick will like that one. Much better.”

The smile that you gave Remus took his breath away. Almost as much as when you then leaned in to hug him. He awkwardly patted your arms as they wrapped around him from the side. You barely knew him and yet here you were, hugging him as if you were lifelong friends.

“Thank you, Remus,” you said before letting go. 

You started to pack your things away and Remus returned to his assignments. He tried to steady his breathing and heart rate. He expected that to be the end of the interaction. You stood up and slung your bag over your shoulder, pausing to look at Remus while he worked. 

“Could you help more? Essays are hard,” you said, your voice soft.

Remus looked up to see your pleading eyes.

“Yeah. We can meet here on Tuesdays and Thursdays?” 

Your smile somehow widened. 

“Thank you!” 

Then you left. He watched you leave, curiosity about you flowing through his veins. He knew everyone loved you and with this short evening together, he absolutely understood why. You emanated joyful energy. You were beautiful. You were… fantastic. And you had just asked him to spend more time with you. Was it for homework? Yes, but Remus wasn’t going to let that deter him from enjoying your presence. 

From then on, Remus looked forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays. He had classes with you and could see you during passing or meals, but those evenings in the library? You were all his. You sat mostly in silence, but you were always right next to him. Sitting too close, touching his hand, smiling at him, hugging him. He could sneak glances at you without the risk of anyone noticing how often he did so. 

“Can you read, Édesem?” you asked, sliding him a Transfiguration essay you had been working on. 

“Of course.”

Since that first session together, Remus didn’t usually make notes on your essays. In sections when your Hungarian messed with your English, he tapped his wand to the essay to make grammar and spelling changes. The only notes he made were when the content of the essay needed edits. He couldn't help pride he felt when he noticed your essays having fewer and fewer errors. He told himself that he was part of why that was happening.

Most of the time, you busied yourself with something else while he read over your work. Not today though. You watched him read, your eyes tracing over the scars on his face, forearms and hands. Because he was reading your essay, you stopped yourself from brushing his hair out of his eyes. It had grown a fair amount since your first session. 

You sighed. “Jóképű vagy…”

“Hmm?” he hummed, not looking up from the parchment. 

You flushed and looked away. You hadn’t meant to say that out loud. And then Remus said your name.

“Mit?” you asked.

“Did you say something?” 

“No.” Did you say that too quickly? Did you sound uncertain? 

“Oh… I thought… Ah, never mind…” A moment passed. “Here’s your essay back. It’s good.”

“Thank you, Drágám,” you said with a slight smile.

“What’s that mean? Dragon?” 

You knew your blush was becoming more prominent. 

“It’s…” You couldn’t tell him what it actually meant. Your Hungarian pet names were supposed to your secret way was expressing your feelings. “It means friend.”

“Huh. Cool.” 

He seemed to believe you. You had been calling him Drágám and Édesem for a few sessions now. He had never explicitly asked what they meant until now. He assumed that they meant something along the lines of friend, but he wanted to be sure. And now he knew. 

You hugged him again before you left. Then you pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“Thanks, again, Remus. I appreciate the help.” 

As soon as your back was to him as you walked away, Remus brought his hand up to his cheek where your lips had just been. He used to think that the hug was overkill for the level of friendship you had and the amount of help he was giving you. A kiss, albeit on the cheek, but still a kiss? It felt like a lot. 

Then he noticed the small book you accidentally left behind. The Hungarian to English dictionary. He put it in his bag. He could give it back to you when he saw you in class. Remus was positive it wasn’t something you’d want to lose. He worked for a bit longer before returning to his dorm.

As he lay in bed that night, he flipped through the dictionary. He came across words he heard you say from time to time and words you mixed up for English ones. There were a few that caught his eye as he lazily scanned the pages. Édesem and Drágám were two of the big ones. The little nicknames you had called him and they certainly didn’t mean friend. 

He closed the book, setting it on his bedside table with a deep blush covering his entire face. You had been calling him terms of endearment in your native tongue. Did you call everyone that? As he observed you in the past few weeks, he noticed that you hugged a lot of people. You seemed to have a lot of love to give, not that it was a bad thing. But he hadn’t paid attention to how you spoke to others. He knew he needed to. He needed to know if these terms were your normal vocabulary or reserved for your study buddy. 

He found you the next day before Charms to give you the dictionary back. 

“You left this last night. Thought you’d like it back.”

“Remus! Köszönöm, jóképű! Thank you!”

As if to enforce his observations, you pulled him into a hug and then pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I would be dead without this,” you said as you pulled back. 

He gave you a polite smile and made his way to his desk. He knew he had interrupted your conversation with your friends and now he was kicking himself for not trying to listen to how you spoke before he interrupted or lingering after you let him go. He also regretted not having the dictionary any more. Jóképű? That was a new name. What if that one really did mean friend? 

He figured he’d just have to wait.

And he did. He waited until your next study session together. He planned to wait until you let one of the pet names slip and he’d ask you about it again. 

It didn’t take long.

“Hello, Drágám,” you said cheerfully as you walked up to your usual table. 

Remus waited until you sat down and subconsciously moved your chair closer to his, like you did every time. 

“There it is again, Drágám.”

“Mit?” you asked, tilting your head as you looked at Remus. There was something new in his warm honey eyes that made you melt.

“Drágám. The name I asked you about.”

You cleared your throat. “Right. Friend.”

Then he chuckled. 

“It doesn’t mean friend,” he said matter-of-factly. He gestured to your bag where he knew the dictionary was tucked away. “I… I, ah, I looked it up.”

Your face burned bright red within seconds. 

“You looked it up?”

“I was flipping through the pages. Curious, you know. And I, erm, I came across it. Precious? Honey? And the other one… Éde-something.”

“Édesem,” you whispered, the sinking feeling of embarrassment covering you from head to toe. You wanted to disappear into your chair. 

“Sweetheart,” he said. 

He didn’t look angry when he said that. If anything, he looked nervous.

“What was it that you called me when I gave you the dictionary back? I couldn’t look it up… Obviously.”

You bit your lip before saying, “Friend?”

Remus chuckled and then gestured to your bag. “Do you mind if I check?”

You pressed your lips into a thin line. Your heart pounded in your chest as you reached into your bag to grab the small book. You handed it to Remus without looking at him. 

“It was… ahem, jóképű,” you said in a small voice.

Remus flipped through the pages until he found it. Then his face was covered in a matching shade of red. Handsome. It seemed to glare at him from the page. He swallowed thickly before allowing him to look at you.

You were staring at your hands, which were clasped in front of you on the table. He slowly reached out and placed his on top of yours. 

“Do you say that to all of your friends?” he whispered.

You shook your head, not trusting your voice or your own words. 

“Édesem, please look at me,” he said. 

Your heart leapt at him using the endearment back at you. He was using it to refer to you, right? The sweet look on his face only made you think that he was. He leaned in slightly.

“Do you really think I’m… joke… ah, I can’t pronounce it…”

“I do…” 

You slid one of your hands out from under his to brush his hair out of his eyes. 

“It’s a… um, előnye… a…” You then held up a finger and reached for the dictionary. After a moment of you scanning a few pages, you continued, “It’s a perk of studying with you.” 

“And I thought I was the only one with that perk,” Remus said with a smirk.

“What do you mean?”

“Having a pretty study mate. Bit distracting for getting work done, but nice all the same.”

You gave him a confused look so he continued.

“Édesem, you’re breathtaking. And I really like being near you, working with you, helping you. It’s the highlight of my day.”

“Oh,” you breathed, your blush once again deepening.

This time it was Remus who removed a hand to move some of your hair. He tucked it behind your ear before letting his hand rest on the side of your face. 

“Can I… ah… Can…” he stuttered before leaning in more. 

You could feel his breath on your face as he kept moving closer. And then you realized what he was doing a moment after his lips brushed yours. You leaned into the kiss as your silent way of accepting it. 

Translations from google translate

Mit - what 

Írj - write

Édesem - honey/sweetheart

Drágám - my precious

Jóképű vagy - you’re so handsome

Köszönöm, jóképű - thank you, handsome

Előnye - advantage/benefit/perk

[cynical-rain-frog]

Unrequited love (Xiao x hanahaki fem reader) Part 1

TW: blood, vomit

Modern highschool AU

Summary: Xiao and lumine start dating and you develop hanahaki disease.

Authors notes: This has been sitting in my drafts for months so I thought Id just release this and make more if people like it

Word count: 546

For those who don’t know, hanahaki disease is a fictional disease that causes flowers to grow in your lungs when your love is unrequited. These flowers will continue to grow until you die or your love is returned.

______________________________________________________________

Xiao was your first love. On the first day of highschool you sat next to him in class. Despite not knowing each other, you two became fast friends. He was quite reserved at first but it seems he was as desperate to make friends as you were. You two bonded and started hanging out after school. You would stay up to the early hours of the morning just talking and rambling to each other and you would text him every day. On the outside Xiao seemed cold and rude but in actuality he was very sweet and attentive. He would notice you weren’t wearing gloves on cold days and give you his. He would always have sweets in his pocket for you. He would keep pace next to you during Phys Ed just to continue talking to you even though he was much more athletic than half the kids in your class. Soon enough you found your face burning every time he smiled at you, Your ears turning red every time he laughed, and leaning on his shoulder when riding the bus home felt much more intimate. Maybe he would notice how you feel? You were never very vocal about crushes, as you hated rejection, so hopefully Xiao would catch on soon.

Yet that never happened.

A few months into sophomore year Lumine transferred to your school. She immediately caught the entire grade’s attention, including Xiao. You noticed how his eyes lingered on her as she walked past him or the way he started trying his best in Phys Ed when she was looking. When you asked him about it he said that he "Was just trying to stay in shape". As much as you wanted to believe him, there was still that doubtful feeling deep in your stomach. Or maybe it was a different feeling. You started noticing you were much more short of breath as of late an Phys Ed was harder than ever. You also had a bit of cough that wouldn't go away.

One night you were sitting on call with Xiao. It was almost midnight and you both were getting really tired. During a lull in conversation, Xiao sighed.

"I think I like Lumine", he breathed.

You sucked in a breath and pretended you didn't hear him.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"Noth... nothing, nevermind."

"Ah.", You hoped your voice didn't give you away as you continued," Well... I'm feeling pretty tired..."

A breath

"Night..?"

"...Goodnight."

A moment passed and your phone screen went dark. You felt the burn of tears behind your eyes. The darkness of your room weighed down on you as drops rolled down your face, getting your pillow wet.

You had almost calmed down when you went into a coughing fit. You coughed for a few minutes and soon you felt like vomiting. struggling to stand your feet carried you to the bathroom where you coughed over the sink. After a while you coughed something out.

It floated down...

down...

down...

down...

into the sink.

A flower petal. You blinked a few times and finally caught your breath. A flower petal? How is that even a thing? You were probably too tired and imagining things. you decided to stumble back to bed to get some sleep. You'll think more in the morning

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! I appreciate it!

[ask-spiderpool]

Dear mod. I just wanted to ask how you're doing atm? Are you eating good food and sleeping well?

Oh bless you, anon! Regrettably, neither of those things, no. My appetite has been very poor since my surgery, and I'm more than a little sleep deprived with all the jobs I'm juggling at the moment - buuut... I'm alive. My head is good. My work is good. Always manage to make everyone happy, oh, yes sir, but can't wait to pass out for a whole day and then hang out with some friends. It'll heal me.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Learning to celebrate the little wins!

[cementcornfield]

I've been with [Joe] for a long time now and I ain't never seen him fall off, feel sluggish about himself you know? I don't know if he does but I always pick him up too, doesn't matter if he's seeing it or not, I'm picking him up, he's picking me up...

x

[lookninjas]

(image from: Font generator. Never catch me not doing my attribution when required.)

DISCO.

Anyway, pick a song from a bad description. You do not have to recognize the song that you choose (although I have certain expectations of my Glee fans, I won't lie). Go from the vibes. Whatever seems funkiest, or funniest, or whatever floats your boat.

At the end of the week, I will make the poll into a playlist, from the song with the lowest amount of votes to the song with the highest amount of votes. If you would like to hear the playlist, leave a comment or put it in your reblog and I will tag you when the playlist goes up. If you really want to know what a particular song is, shoot me an ask and I will answer.

And please reblog the post! Inflict the disco on your friends and followers. They'll thank you for it.

See you in a week, and remember -- stay groovy.

[boughclan-clangen]

moon 0, page 7

>air thick with dread.

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[shalomniscient]

natlan 5.1 was batshit insane but i won't deny cookery when i see it. last 1/3 of the archon quest is just brilliantly done in my opinion, from writing to level design to soundtrack. just genuine excellence

[franky-y]

bath time 🛁

[rowenabean]

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