#that one and pony are what defined my childhood

[hollow-vok]

Some of my favorite movies at the moment <3

[canine-economy]

Daisuke’s Death and the Invisible Abuse of “Privileged” Children

tw: extensive discussions of child emotional abuse

Another mouthwashing text analysis before I post any polished art? Shocker. But I really really appreciate the reception on my Swansea post, especially as a new account! This Daisuke-centric analysis is gonna be a quick one (< this was a lie. long read ahead!) but he is a character who resonates deeply personally with me as a victim of childhood abuse that resembled some of his experiences. I do plan on doing a larger analysis of his character, but the abridged version necessary for this piece goes as follows:

Daisuke’s treatment in the narrative—both his implied home life and Jimmy’s taking advantage of him to go into the vent—is another one of this game’s excellent portrayals of normalized (and thus invisibilized) abuse. Children are often cited as one of the most vulnerable classes of people, if not the most vulnerable (I acknowledge that Daisuke is not a child, but Mouthwashing implies that this narrative of his inadequacy has persisted throughout his upbringing and, to this day, he is dictated tasks and lacks independence, treated like a dependent. His youth is also an undisputed feature of his character and, most importantly, the cast treats him like a kid). Children’s dependency on adults and our willingness as a society to accept that the adults in their lives provide the most objective perspective on these young people renders them particularly prone to abuse easily swept under the rug or “justified” by wardens who possess the power to dictate the narrative. Jimmy’s engagement with Daisuke is an extension of the latter’s vulnerability. The co-pilot’s assertion that “he’ll be fine (…) mommy and daddy have him covered” at the birthday party represents a deference to Daisuke’s parents as adequate caretakers who will ensure his longevity and comfort on the basis of their wealth. And we know that Daisuke’s parents think the same—the Q&As reveal that they believe they are doing the best to secure their son a good future. However, the same Q&As indicate that they don’t actually engage with or understand Daisuke’s interests and that their approach to parenting him is entirely understood through their personal beliefs, not those of their son. And Daisuke clearly carries that quite close to his heart. He seems to struggle with identity and acceptance, seeking validation in the form of praise. Daisuke is defined through what he can do for others and not what he independently brings to the table, because that has never mattered where he grew up. The consequences of his parents’ failure to meet his emotional needs ultimately conditioned Daisuke to be perfectly available to be taken advantage of in a corporate setting defined by capitalist attitudes and hierarchies.

While it’s not concrete to say that Daisuke grew up in an emotionally abusive household, it is most important that we cannot dismiss the possibility and that his behavior as the outcome of some obvious degree of neglect is well-aligned with this theory. Moreover, the young man who comes out of that household is easily targeted by Jimmy’s abusive tendencies as a direct result of what he internalizes growing up. Daisuke is apparently financially well-off (contextually we can’t be sure if Daisuke’s family is upper class, middle class, or somewhere in between), and with that comes privilege. Even the way he packs—multiple personalized outfits, entertainment devices, etc—reveal that he’s used to certain comforts and hasn’t yet acclimated to the harsh expectations of companies like the Pony Express. But, especially where young people are concerned, it is all too easy to allow this privilege to act as a curtain between abuse and the outside world. We can acknowledge the privilege that he undoubtedly enjoys and also recognize that it benefits his parents much more than it benefits him as a young person.

Emotional abuse is complex and extremely damaging and Daisuke *does* show symptoms of at least being constantly verbally accosted and emotionally neglected by his parents to the point of permanently warping his sense of self. It also generated his overreliance on authority figures to tell him how to keep himself safe in their world. His mother apparently insulted him to his face (“such a slacker, she said”, and being reprimanded for being too talkative [from the Daisuke teaser]), and a lot of his negative self talk (“total screw-up”, “fuck up”, etc) is reminiscent of how people define themselves by parroting what they are called after internalizing consistent externally-imposed definitions of their identity. While these are not surefire indicators of abuse and I am not willing to diagnose a situation as abusive purely predicated on these factors, the behaviors Daisuke exhibits as a result share many commonalities with those of victims of childhood abuse. In fact, just about every time Daisuke speaks about himself in Mouthwashing, he mentions his failures and his work. It’s not lost on me that the teaser for the whole character is him pondering his mother and how she might not recognize him if he isn’t noisy and obnoxious. He personally puts a lot of stock in their assessment of him as lazy and annoying, but nevertheless tries to accomplish learning through the internship. Furthermore, Daisuke takes on a lot of his mother’s pain, hoping she doesn’t blame herself for the negative things that happen to him (even though in the same scene he reveals that she’s the reason he’s on the stranded Tulpar at all), indicating that he has taken responsibility for the feelings of people in his life even when those people are not his to care for and even bear responsibility for his pain.

Now in young adulthood, Daisuke rarely seems to have any sense of self beyond his parents and his work aside from one-off quips about baseball and babes. It suggests that he has always had to prioritize his parents’ desires growing up to avoid being treated unfairly and even cruelly, stunting his self-discovery. In abusive situations, your understanding of safety and your pursuit thereof are radically impacted and we see this manifest in Daisuke’s continuing willingness to accept those in command as the pinnacle of safety over what one might consider logical, personal acts of self-preservation. He equates safety with obedience, and I contend that that equivalence suggests a lot about how his parents reprimanded deviance from their plans. And not to be that guy, but it is kind of outright cruel to dump your utterly inexperienced teenager-to-early-20-something on a 1 year, no contact, unsafe space voyage in a failing industry knowing that he doesn’t have the necessary skillset yet. That’s what his parents do when they aren’t satisfied with his progress, and it’s intense and disproportionate and alarming! Especially for the dependent! They toss him into the deep end of the corporate machine and insist he learns to swim in such an oppressive, stifling atmosphere. It’s no surprise that he drowns, especially when he himself can’t recognize this as an unrealistic expectation and tackles it with everything he’s got because his parents are theoretically always right about what he needs. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that normalized emotional abuse from the home and how it maps onto a victim’s adult life is a topic Mouthwashing would endeavor to touch on, because visibilizing invisible abuses of power in heteropatriarchal capitalist schemes is arguably the central undertaking of the game.

I don’t think Daisuke has evil parents or anything, rather that what we accept as “good parenting” and “good mentorship” is often negligent with regard to emotional needs and can easily become a source of heavy trauma for the children and mentees if that emotional aspect is stretched too thin in the pursuit of success. Not all abuse is intentional, and the dev Q&As imply that Daisuke’s parents thought they were sincerely investing in his future. They cared, just not in the best way for his wellbeing. Because capitalism emphasizes the individualistic pursuit of success above all else, it’s no wonder that a parent would think that the best thing they can give their kid is an avenue to prosper financially. But in doing so, Daisuke’s parents deny him the opportunity to define himself, to experience agency, and to build up confidence. Effectively, they create a young man so vulnerable to abuse by higher-ups (a manifestation of abuse that is often intentional at the systemic level) that he decides to climb into that vent at Jimmy’s discretion under the pretense that he will make somebody proud. Because that’s how Daisuke has been raised to understand himself and his place—the presumed screw-up boy as a default, making you proud by doing the right thing, who has learned to pursue that achievement to avoid the condescension and disproportionate backlash (e.g. the internship itself) that comes with failure. Everything circles back to his parents’ expectations that he makes for a good worker. When the cocktail knocks Swansea out, Daisuke makes an offhand comment about getting a bad reference—even in the most dire of circumstances, he can’t stop thinking about their capitalistic expectations for his “good” future.

I find that Daisuke really is such a good subtle portrayal of how parents with resources can get away with emotionally stunting their children because we perceive their ability to put a roof over their heads, food on their plate, etc as adequate parenting and even a privilege for the child when it should be the bare minimum. Jimmy certainly buys into it, and even some of the fandom parrots that, really and truly believing Daisuke is some good-for-nothing kid who doesn’t try hard when all we see is him working, including climbing into the vents to try and help despite not being assigned the work (foam scene, not his death). I find this reception shows how inclined we are to accept those narratives of the privileged child’s inadequacy before we address the parent for not fulfilling a child’s emotional needs, which are just as important if not more than the material.

To wrap this up with a quick discussion of the symbolism of his death in the context of the emotional abuse of children (which is the reason I made this whole post but I can’t talk about this guy without going off): Daisuke getting so badly injured trying to do what’s right is a very physical manifestation of the suffering he was already going through. It is the pain of constantly people-pleasing and of holding it all in when he’s lashed out at. He gets injured at all in the pursuit of appeasing Jimmy and (theoretically) Swansea, both of whom he blindly trusts despite how they treat him because he has always been expected to just adhere to the adults with authority in his life. Being talked down to by them is not new and has never been a reason to question their judgement. Daisuke sees this as a product of his own inadequacy as implied by other people, and not of external cruelty. He was raised not to question the system for fear of repercussions.

Jimmy is perfectly situated to coerce him into a dangerous situation because Daisuke has never been taught to say no. The safest option for a scared child is to trust their mentors, and an adult Daisuke does just that. Even Swansea’s teachings of safety are dismantled by Jimmy’s tactical use of captainhood to break the camel’s back. Authority. Daisuke must always listen to authority. Jimmy knows the vent isn’t safe. Swansea tells him directly and he observes the foam incident (if from a distance). For as much as he acts like he cares about taking responsibility for Daisuke’s safety, his individualistic pursuit of “fixing” things manifests in Jimmy again taking advantage of a vulnerable person on the ship. Jimmy doesn’t reconcile Daisuke’s eagerness to help with lessons on safety like Swansea does, but rather uses it only when it benefits him. Daisuke is taught by his upbringing to accept this kind of treatment—for safety, defer to the leader in the room even if it hurts and you don’t want to do it (just like he didn’t want to be on the Tulpar in the first place).

Then, once the intern is out of the vent and mortally wounded, Jimmy applies the mouthwash (a product to be sold, hauled in the interest of the corporation) to “help” sanitize the wounds. But the sugar content negates medical utility and only worsens the pain. We can interpret this as the application of material privilege, “sweetness”, that wasn’t actually any help at all to solve the deep wounds left by emotional pains. Mouthwash rids you of the bad taste but doesn’t kill all the underlying germs. One could argue further that in this scene, the mouthwash is specifically representative of the Pony Express internship: a rare stepping stone in the corporate hustle gained through privilege and presented as a boon. Like the mouthwash, the internship is imposed on Daisuke to try and “help” him succeed and be better, but it only elevates the pain by irritating the wounds and ends in his agonizing demise. However, this fine-tuned comparison isn’t necessary to my point. I find the broad implications of the mouthwash as an antiseptic immensely representative of parents and caretakers who don’t seem abusive to the outside world but who are actually subversively hurting their children and ultimately conditioning them to be victimized by capitalist attitudes. Our deference to material comforts and corporate opportunities as indicators of wellness renders us blind to where caretakers fail to address the emotional needs of young people. At the end of the day, Daisuke is still killed by the values his parents have instilled in him. It’s always the “captain’s” (literal or figurative) orders that seal the deal and cut off any of his autonomous doubt or dictation (for example, his desire to listen to Swansea and not go in the vent). His parents’ symbolic and saccharine gestures mean very little in the scheme of creating a person who can survive the pressures of the “real world” when malicious actors (JIMMY.) and the capitalist enterprise as a whole bear down on the cracks of an emotionally taxing youth.

A/N: Maybe I’m thinking about all of this too hard, but the beauty of Mouthwashing is that I’m never quite sure that’s the case as this game feels so deliberate. Anyway, as somebody who has clinically diagnosed PTSD stemming from childhood, this has always been a really important analysis to posit and I finally found the time to put it into words. I feel like Daisuke as a symbol is often overlooked by the fandom. He’s enjoyed, yes, but not really broken down like the others are. That diminishing of his importance and his feelings about the situation also feels like a symptom of his age. But that’s neither here nor there—like I said, I believe I could do a much more in-depth analysis of Daisuke as a victim of subtle abuse but this will have to do for now. A lot of my major points have been made, anyway! Perhaps video format would be best for something longer-form. 🌺

[dallasgallant]

Time period post- Greaser subtypes

This one was asked of me a little while back, as I mentioned briefly the types of Greaser and someone wanted to know the difference. (Also have some posts on terminology!) and it sent me down a bit of a rabbit hole, this one is a little more researched that my more rambly general knowledge ones.

Going to put this before the cut as it’s a important aspect and was fascinating to me at least,

“The Greaser” has been a costume and a character longer than it ever had been a clearly defined demographic or subculture. A lot of what we understand today is from pop culture and rockabilly revivals of the 80s and the whatever the fuck was happening in 2010 (which is more a tumblr aesthetic than it ever was reality). What unites and makes an ‘actual’ greaser is without a doubt class status, certain behavior and dress more so than the affiliation with Rock n’ roll.

Another thing to consider is “Greaser” is a derogatory term! Pony talks about it briefly in the book how they don’t like other people calling them it, only themselves. It’s not a group invented term, more something they’re called/reclaimed.

Same goes for Hood, JD, Con, Punk, white trash, Redneck, Hick, Okie etc.

Some have come on to be used more commonly, or nicer meaning such as redneck but half the time it’s self used by people with a slight accent and would not actually— different conversation.

Another thing to be aware of (that I have a post on) is inter-lapping terms like all Greasers are punks but not all punks are greasers. (Original connotation not the music based subculture)

Motorcycle v. Hot rod-

Now to what this post was sparked about the distinction between “Type” of greasers. This is sort of what it says on the tin.

Motorcycle greasers are the types to ride bikes and be in that sort of gang.

Hot rod greasers are those who are into car customization (making a hot rod by suping it up) and drag races that sort of thing.

Both of these can be named gangs, matching jackets with the name and everything. However that’s more larger city and pop culture than true across the board (Pony mentioned there’s a few named gangs in Tulsa; types like this also tend to run over)

But again! It’s important to understand not every motorcycle gang or car club are greasers! It’s complicated in a strange way as there’s simultaneously no difference and a lot of difference.

Not all greasers are a “type!” Either. Some are just grease. Like the Curtis outfit leans towards the car side but are not a car club/gang or centered around their cars. They’re a run of the mill unnamed friend group type gang.

Varying term-

Interesting is, some stereotypes and pop culture examples of greasers are relatively true to life… though they tend to run softer or harsher depending on if they’re the bad or good guys (typically bad.) Some are upset over this… mainly because a childhood bully was a greaser and they have a demonized depiction in their head which was wild to come across while looking into this.

It’s actually one of the instances where people’s recollection as a bit better of a source then looking it up. As google gives you mainly “Ayyyyy” or “tell me more tell me more” (which don’t get me wrong we love the Fonz and the T-birds in this house)

What seems to be the true uniting factor of making a Greaser is Levi’s and being a “Working class bully” which has become a whole other stereotype within itself but, greaser’s never really went away they just changed their haircut. Allow me to explain,

The kid who’s rough because he has to be. Life isn’t so great at home, dad beats him, poor, mom strips etc there’s a thousand variations. To the point again there’s an entire trope. Besides being lower class they were also the kids to frequent the shop and remedial classes- get in trouble, speak their mind get into fights and so on. Looking into antidotes sometimes what they were called changed or the music they listened to but- hair grease, jeans, rough etc are all a common factor.

This also ties back to the book. There’s something about everyone either thinking you’re mean and a criminal or immediately pitying you because your life must be so horrible you poor thing you—- has got to suck! It’s understandable that Pony would flip out on Cherry the way he did about pity and charity.

The thing about Greasers that gets me is that they’re either doomed to Demonization or romanization. (As let’s be real crime, being rude etc were also an active part. Not always but there) Both in memory and pop culture. Don’t get me wrong there has always been some nuanced depictions and conversations about Greasers or JD’s (the outsiders is one of them) but that just isn’t the case for the dominant public memory. They’re stuck as a costume or a bully…

[dapper-lil-arts]

Have you seen the 2017 My Little Pony Movie? If so, do you everyone was acting OOC in the movie? I've been seeing so many people say this. Like Rainbow Dash doing a Sonic Rainboom while in the midst of showing off to those pirates didn't really seem out of character for her, but that's my opinion.

Honestly i dont think its a matter of being out of character, btu rather character reduction. Every girl of the mane 6 winds up being reduced to the most core components of their character, be it catchphrases or just a basic way of acting. rainbow is cocky, pinkie is loud, rarity is vain, AJ is pragmatic and somehow, Fluttershy basically only ever whimpers in the movie. the camera turns to her and shes whimpering, lmao. That's all in character, completely. its just not creative or interesting or expressive. Pinkie being used as a distraction because she's loud and loves parties is almost a meta relationship with this, Twilight knows.

I think what also doesnt help the movie is how pointless of a roadtrip journey the movie is? Like. its a movie about going from point A to point B mindlessly, but there's no real defined purpose. The maggufin they find is just an orb that makes you into a water pony, why did twilight thing that was a tool that could be used against the storm king? Who fuckin knows. the hippogriffs dont help, its all won n the end due to teamwork. its funny that they in the end assault the castle by just... going there with the friends they made along the way.

BUT LIKE BITCH YOU ALREADY HAD FRIENDS. IN PONYVILLE AND BEYOND EVEN.LIKE DOZENS OF FRIENDS THAT WOULD GLADLY HELP Where's starlight and trixie during the fall of equestria?! Having gay sex?! smh

I also am not fond of how many bipedal characters are added in here, the ponies stand out so much in a world made for creatures with hands, and even the comics dont add this many. it feels weird bc they had so many species to pick from, from changelings, yaks, griffons, etc etc, and they just made a bunch of furry people that stand and slapped them in the movie. the hoppogriffs were a nice addition even if they dont do nothin. Maybe they realised a quadrupedal world with hands is just impractical lmao

Anyways I have a lot to critique about the movie but I feel like it just all bogs down to it being like... Kind of empty to me. Devoid of an usual flair or artistic vision some episodes and specials seem to have. Characters are there to do what they usually do, the princesses are kicked out of the way so twilight and her friend scan save the day, its pretty formulaic. Maybe I'm spoiled by equestria girls and how each movie has a diffrent and awesome vibe and every character has smth to do in it lmao.

Anyways tempest is cool but she stands out like a sore thumb and her not being in FIM or EQG is just sad. Also the comics do her justice and give her a fucking girlfriend, one of her childhood friends, its really damn sweet.

[paintcloset]

You did WHAT? And posted it WHERE?

Personal analysis of the cult obsession of depictions of blood, gore and violence, its potential origins and roots in 2010 internet culture.

Arlo Babenko, June 2024

[Hot Blood, 2024, Guache and Ink on Paper, 40.5x50cm]

Growing up on the internet with unrestricted internet access, I was part of a young demographic that discovered the unlimited horizon of media which portrayed violence, blood and gore. I believe it has shaped me as a person and still affects my views on aesthetics as well as media consumption. Reading Cynthia Freeland’s chapter titled, “Blood and beauty” from her book “But is it art?” made me think about the ever present violence in online media, which influenced the greater sphere of its aesthetics and my personal experience with the aesthetics of blood at an early age. In this essay, I will explore potential origins of gore and violence obsession in online media, and its aesthetic effects on my generation. 

When referring to gore aesthetics, I am referring to images posted by social media users. While not being made or seen as art, these images are gathered under hashtags dedicated to these categories of evidence of violence on the body (@every-bruise-a-galaxy). These aesthetics influenced not only photography but also illustrative work to include these depictions.

One part of the evolving categorization under gore is the subgenre of juxtapositioning, something stereotypically perceived as cute and combining it with elements of horror, including body horror, making it also fall into the category that I am defining in this essay. A classic example is the animated series PONY.MOV. It was a series of 12 short animated videos posted onto YouTube, parodying the popular tv show My Little Pony Friendship is Magic (MLP). It pictured the main 6 characters of the show as mentally unstable, psychopathic, or deranged and carrying out unethical actions, not typical to its reference material. (Gilardi 2011) Being about 7 years old when this was released, I remember watching it and being unable to discern it from content meant for children. Afterall, it featured the familiar faces of cartoons that I would watch. When brought up in discussion with friends to see if anyone had a similar experience, one said that “They ruined my childhood”. This is one way of introducing blood in the media at a young age. I believe it's a gateway to attraction to gory aesthetics.

Being acquainted with this media one may ask, why would such major collections of images depicting bruises, bloodied knees, nosebleeds and children cartoons reimagined as psychotic, be gathered by such a wide range of users? Exposure to such violent content at a young age is not the cause of a community's descent into desensitization. It’s one of my anecdote examples of potential root causes of the trend. Although some may have never been exposed to this kind of content regularly, they may remember it from brief interactions. The psychological response of long standing remembrance of violence is something we are born with. Researchers found that “Long-term memories are influenced by the emotion experienced during learning as well as by the emotion experienced during memory retrieval.” (Buchanan). When comparing the recall of a neutral memory to a one with an emotional one, the latter one is more likely to be remembered. Applying this concept to consumption of media, emotionally charged media depicting violence, is more likely to be remembered, and more likely to be reproduced. 

Whilst examining the potential scientific reason behind the attraction to gore, one may remember that Kant, also tried to find the scientific and objective reason behind aesthetics. The attraction to aesthetics of an injury fit into his description whilst contradicting it. Freeland states that Kant believed “that something beautiful has ‘purposiveness without a purpose’.” (Freeland, 11). A bruise or a nosebleed has no active purpose, but rather is the symptom of an action. It’s the aftermath of trauma inflicted to the body. It could be argued that neither serve a purpose when detaching it from its cause and creation. But some would argue that both are beautiful. The bruise may serve a purpose on the body through processes that we can only observe through its change in color, but to quote Freeland on the separation of usefulness and beauty in the object, the purpose of an injury, “is not why it is beautiful. Something about its array of colours and textures prompts my mental faculties to feel that the object is ‘right.’” (Freeland 12). In this case an injury is not beautiful because of its lack of perceived use, but is also found beautiful through its cause. This makes it follow Kant’s idea of aesthetics, whilst also contradicting it. 

Combining both of my arguments for obsession over the aesthetics of injuries and violence on the internet, there is a potential new question to the attraction to this aesthetic. If you can’t forget the content you consume, do you start to find it beautiful? Potentially, yes, but I don't know for certain. I believe that there is a combination at play of the two elements, as well as attraction to the illustration of cause on the body by injuries being present. After all, it's proof you're alive, even if bleeding, and there is beauty in seeing those elements as beauty as well. 

Works Cited

Buchanan, Tony W. “Retrieval of Emotional Memories.” 2008, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2265099/. Accessed 3 June 2024.

@every-bruise-a-galaxy. “Bruised knuckles and night skies for anon.” Tumblr, Every Bruise a Galaxy, 14 October 2022, https://www.tumblr.com/every-bruise-a-galaxy/698119006135238657/bloodyhands-butimnotdead-bruised-knuckles-and. Accessed 4 June 2024.

Freeland, Cynthia A. But is it Art? An Introduction to Art Theory. Oxford University Press, 2001. Accessed 6 June 2024.Gilardi, Max, creator. PONY.MOV. 2011. 2011. YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL94A83DC128CC6B4B. Accessed 5 June 2024.

[eldritch-edward]

This is what I did tonight when I sat down to write;

Ed's henna was fun to design, though, so I did enjoy the time I spent.

Believe it or not, Ed being able to turn invisible isn’t from TOH nor ITSV, it's actually inspired from an old MLP fanfic called Background Pony. It's a somewhat bleak fic but so is my work and that story has been one of my favourites for…. maybe two years now?

————-

While Ed had seen henna and mehndi art from time to time when growing up in Resembool, given its proximity to Ishvall, he'd only really gotten a chance to wear it once or twice in his childhood (curtesy of one of the many people who decided to watch out for the town's resident stewards).

Once William (Envy) becomes a part of his life and decides to teach Ed about their heritage, Ed is reintroduced to henna and decides that he rather likes having it. He can’t apply it himself (as he doesn’t wear the automail art by that point, although I will likely have him start sporting a prosthetic similar to what is seen in CoS) and he takes a fair amount of liberties with the medium, but it is fun.

(Yes, I am projecting. I didn’t learn about my middle eastern heritage until I was eighteen and my grandfather was literally from Lebanon.)

William gifts Ed an archeology book containing illustrations of henna art and styles, which Ed proceeds to use or inspiration whenever Kit (03 Wrath) or Nina agree to use him as a sentient canvas. Kit uses primarily floral or thermal designs (mainly vines or snow), weaving them to work with Ed's homunculus markings and spanning the length of Ed's whole arm rather than just the hand.

Nina, being the artsy wee lass she is, sticks more strictly with illustrations. Her work is more geometric in shape as well as generally more defined.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Transphobia

I just ... I don’t get it. I don’t. Why the fuck does other people’s gender matter so much to people in all the wrong ways? What is this obsession with other people’s genitals, and why does this not translate into when people are forcing said genitals upon the unwilling in any form? They talk-talk-talk about how they’re protecting women and children from the unwanted penises of trans women, who they don’t acknowledge as women, but they’re apparently just fine with actual sexual assault by people with penises who identify as men.

I swear, I feel like half the reason I identify as non-binary now is because I am just so sick of it. There’s all these rules that society sets up about what you’re supposed to do and say and think and wear and all that other bullshit when it comes to gender identity, and society just seems to crack down on it harder and harder every year. And I grew up in the fucking 80s, when half the shows pointed at my age group were glorified toy commercials and the age-old standard of marketing people of “gender-focused toys and advertising for same” made it a half-and-half of pink glitter and BIG STRONG MEN. And there was me, with my Barbies and my Matchbox cars and my Strawberry Shortcake dolls and my GI Joes and having Luke Skywalker riding the Cotton Candy My Little Pony into battle and honestly FUCK ALL OF IT.

Gender roles are bullshit and I’ve known that since I was a kid, because there was my mother climbing the corporate ladder in a way that we just can’t do anymore, and there was my dad, way over there after the divorce, sticking with a blue-collar job. I may have grown up learning two languages that give a gender to basically every fucking noun in the world, but maybe that’s another reason I got fed up with it because why the fuck does cheese have a gender? It felt arbitrary. To me, gender is fucking arbitrary. But everyone wants to link it to what’s between people’s legs and it’s just stupid. Cheese has no genitals, but it has gender in French and Spanish and probably other similar languages, so how do genitals have any bearing on your gender? In short, why the fuck am I even bothering?

So here’s me, with an 80s childhood where I looked at the various gender assigned stuff and went, “Hang on - this is bullshit”. I don’t actually fit in anyplace with any of the assigned gender bullshit, so again, why the fuck am I bothering? Well, because half the fucking planet insists that I define myself by my genitalia, that’s why. It’s fucking gross, is what it is. I want people to get their minds out of other people’s pants for, like, ever, unless they’ve had a clear invitation to partake of what’s in there. But no. No, apparently this bunch of gross yahoos feel like they should be the Gender Police, making sure that no one identifies with anything but “penis = man / vulva = woman”. I AM NOT DEFINED BY THE CONTENTS OF MY KNICKERS SO STOP THINKING ABOUT SAID CONTENTS, YOU PERVERTS.

And then they use that to punish people who go against the kinds of stupid-ass rules they apparently learned when their parents gave them the birds-and-bees talk as children. It’s apparently so fucking important that people live according to this bullshit gender identity structure that the ones who don’t have to have their lives made a fucking misery, or just ended. It’s fucking ridiculous. Even if for some dumb-ass reason you believe that trans and nonbinary people are in some way mentally disturbed ... they’re not hurting you. That’s the worst part of this - IT IS NOT HURTING ANYONE. The only people who get hurt when they come out as trans are the trans people, because people hurt them for it. So someone assigned female at birth wants to get some top surgery and go by James and he/him pronouns; so what? How does that actually hurt anyone?

I think the dumbest part of all of it is that the transphobes of the world do feel like they’re being hurt by this. Their simple worldview gets so unbearably shaken by the existence of people who don’t want to fit in the gender-specific moulds of the society they grew up in, and suddenly they feel under attack, because they can’t understand the world anymore somehow. So instead of putting on their big person undergarments and learning to cope with a changing world, they beat the people who don’t conform back into a corner ... or just to death, whichever seems easier to them at the time. And they call us “delicate snowflakes” when all we’re asking for is to not be belittled, insulted, hated just for existing, or outright killed. Apparently just not wanting to die is being ‘delicate’ when they’re clutching their metaphorical pearls over what we want to call ourselves.

It’s the same with sexuality. I personally do not see how gay people just existing is a problem. What they do with their genitals is their own business unless they’re forcing said genitals on someone else without consent. Few to none of them are doing that (there are always outliers). What people do with their genitals in the privacy of their homes is their own business, and anything public? Look, kissing someone or holding someone’s hand is not that sexual, okay? How some people get more up in arms about a man kissing another man on the cheek and holding his hand than they do about a man French-kissing a woman with his hand halfway up her skirt in terms of “public display of affection” is beyond me. Yet it happens, all the time. As to that whole ‘sexualising children’ bullshit - I’m sorry, it’s mostly the straight people doing that. You get a little boy running around the playground with a little girl and immediately get, “Oh, is that your little girlfriend?” and all that sort of bullshit. Most LGBTQ+ people just want to give kids something that they themselves never had - the freedom to choose what they want and who they are without societal expectations. But that’s wrong while shoving little boys and little girls together with not-really-jokes about them getting married someday is apparently fine.

I know it’s all about control. I know it’s all about shaping the world into what these people want and need it to be. I know that they’re the ones who are the delicate snowflakes who wither and die at the idea that the world is changing and they might have to change with it if they don’t fight it by stamping down the ‘deviants’. Intellectually I know all of this. But in my heart, I rage at all of it. In the end, it’s all down to policing people’s genitals and it’s ridiculous and I need it to stop. Everyone needs it to stop. Even the people who’re making others’ lives miserable over it need it to stop, though they won’t admit it. It must be exhausting, hating on people because of what is or isn’t in their knickers and whether that correlates to the gender by which they identify. Everybody needs it to stop, and it feels like it’s never going to, and I am tired and angry and fed up with all of it.

Dear everyone who’s bigoted in the gender and sexuality spectrums: STOP OBSESSING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE’S GENITALS AND WHAT THEY DO WITH THEM. It’s gross, and you are the perverts you accuse others of being. You want to beat on someone for what they’re doing with their genitals? Go beat on a rapist instead of excusing their behaviour with “men have urges” and all that other bullshit that’s been used to excuse sexual assault since the dawn of fucking time. But if someone isn’t hurting people? Leave the contents of their pants alone.

[pansexualkiba]

Okay, now that it's over, allow me to explain the rationale for each and every one. Spoilers, of course.

The Sonic Bible was a fan favorite, as half the listed here are. I said "Which one did I miss" and you all said "Oh, remember when BDG said he never played a Sonic game?" and its treated as this big masterclass of trickery when really it's not. Tons of people are aware of giant media icons and don't interact with their source material. Pokemon is like, the biggest media franchise and there are Poketubers out there who have never played a Pokemon game. It's Plato's cave out here, and not playing a Sonic game isn't so much a reveal as it is the natural cadence of the video. A lot of BDG videos are like that. Or maybe I'm just fucking stupid, idk.

Shapeland was insane from conception to reveal. The long explanation about how such a model was difficult to implement, much less repeat. The giant timecard about how this was exactly what he did. Then the reveal that ShapeLand IS real, that it's a real park with real attendance numbers on a real date in actual history, that they could run this with ANY date - that was insane. That was iconic. No one does it like Kevin Perjuror.

The Dark Brony Double Life was insane because of the LACK of theatrics. To this day, my Discord status says "AND SO THE PONY CONSUMES ITS OWN TAIL." because of the spiralling nature of the concept of horse famous. Jenny foreshadows the reveal ONCE, and then casually just goes "by the way, I made Friendship is Witchcraft" and it utterly recontextualizes not just that video, but the other Pony videos she's done. She's not just a dedicated fan vis a vis her Star Wars and Harry Potter videos, no, she was HORSE FAMOUS, to the point that she had IMPERSONATORS. You all had a pick and you were right, good on ya.

Alex Lasarenko won last time, too. Tbh, its pretty good. The whole video was leading up to the reveal of Alex writing the Disney Channel theme, but slowly, the video becomes more than a deep dive. It becomes an obituary, a tribute, a biography of a late man who soundtracked a lot of kids' childhoods, with a single four-note melody. And Kevin decides to not let that define Alex's life, like he feels Defunctland might one day define him. And so, throughout this mystery-biopic, he plays Alex Lasarenko's music, and only ever tells you this once the time is right. And it flips the definition of Alex Lasarenko on its head, and THAT'S a reveal that has me on the brink of tears every time.

QAnon is a reveal, yes, and I'm glad you all recommended this one because I HADN'T seen it before. It's a sobering reveal, however. You're having a time, learning about the decline of flat earthers and you're learning how antisemitism and the like fuels most modern occultism and conspiracies, and then you're hit with how they're all at QAnon now, and you're explained the cult of QAnon, and this becomes historical horror. Because the history is now. And the horror is you can SEE the end result as it is. SEW isn't a sibyl, but goddamn was that a portent. With the way y'all were batting for it, I figured it'd be higher-rated. Ah well.

Waluigi, in my opinion, was an insane reveal because it wasn't just the reveal of the video - it was the reveal of a full SEASON. Of REAL LIFE. For those of you unaware of Polygon history (unlike me, who had an on-off crush on Pat Gill), Brian was some hairless Baltimore twink like some kind of emaciated harbor seal, and one day, he decided to grow a mustache. This was, as I'm sure you'll imagine, unpopular with his fanbase because he was a white twink in a suit. He had to publically go, in a video that season, "You aren't my friends and you have no say in what I do with my body". The Gilbertheads (they dont call themselves that) were INSANE over this mustache. And then he makes a Waluigi video, who was ALSO becoming a popular meme because... I assume Reddit or 4chan was responsible somehow. And you slowly realize, as the video goes on, ESPECIALLY when the words FMV tumble out of his lips, that, oh no, he's attempting to BE Waluigi. And then he opines about the nature of Luigi, after disparaging him the whole video. And behind him, fucking Vesti la Giubba from Pagliachi has been growing in volume. And he says "[...] I'm-a Luigi." so despondently it alters his color scheme, culminating in him shaving off the mustache ON SCREEN. Ridi, Pagliaccio.

People have said that the Victorious series finale infuriated them, and GOOD. Throught the mini-miniseries, Quinton had been casually stating the episode number, implying a finale was going to happen, potentially even gaslighting people into thinking "wait, WAS there a finale?" and since he reviewed the Victorious episodes as they came, you were ultimately left unsure. This is Quinton Reviews, the guy who dug up the very first Garfield newspaper comics and BECAME the foremost expert on Garfield (in what I like to call his Agatha Christie moment), of course he might be thorough enough to dig up some lost media finale. He found theslap.com, for god's sake. And then he introduces the finale. And the screen goes black. It's black for a little too long. And the lights come up. And he reveals his trick. Notably, he had never actually SAID what was in the finale, just alluded it happened, and subtly building up to it. And it never existed. And he WANTS you to feel enraged. Because that was the attitude at the time.

Tommy Talarico, I'll admit, wasn't so much of a reveal as it was a deranged second video. Of course, that's if Tommy Talarico was the reveal in and of itself. A few eagle-eyed pollers may have noticed that I never specified WHAT aspect of Tommy boy was the reveal, and that's because Tommy Talarico is a rabbit hole that would make Frederik Knudson squirt across the room (go follow him on Twitch, he's an owl-themed VTuber now (Fred, not Tom)). He was never on Cribs. He bought his world records. He lies constantly for his own ego. He's a throwaway line on the first half of the video, and then HBG turns off the greenscreen and begins a long exposé on the son of a bitch. And every single line there is another bullet to the chest. It's its own brand of unhinged, and I respect everyone who got it to second place.

The Forgiveness of Jon (u/Rojom, 2020, Pencil on paper) wasn't really a reveal, so much as a notable piece of r/imsorryjon lore. In the same manner as Sonic, this isn't so much a reveal as it is the natural conclusion of the way the video was heading. One might CONSIDER it a reveal, as many will point out it's a direct contrast to the way Jon was depicted in all other works, up to and including the ending of the Sex Survey Results, but its a reveal in the way a final magnum opus from a long-dead painter is a reveal. However, perhaps that's all it has to be. Still a little ill-fitting for the poll, tho.

Anyways congrats to Alex-boy for winning a second time! :)

This is a sequel to this poll

EDIT: since i realize yall havent watched everything here like i have, here's all of them in a completely random order.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

If DCLA characters had Tumblr part 9 🕺🏼

🎨 biamakesart Follow

Hi!! I made a new comic 💜 Like and reblog

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Haha that happened to me and my friends once 🤣

3 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

Randomly remember when my dad explained to me that him and his then fiancée were getting married. But he didn’t say that, he started to do this elaborate story about some papa bear that was on his way to meet mama bear at the meadow and saw a flying unicorn or something. That was his ”metaphors” for how they were getting married.

Some extra context to this story: I was 18 when he told me this.

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant Follow

In that case, how did he explain like… how babies are made?

I both want and do not want to know.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

”Imagine a pegasus and a unicorn. They love each other very much, and so they run across the rainbow together. Their love causes it to rain ice cream and everyone is so happy! Soon there’s a new pony appearing when the unicorn shoots glitter from its magical horn. All the magical elfs celebrate the arrival of the pony, which of course is purple and sparkles a lot! Now, do you have any questions?”

10 year old me:

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

How did you even go through puberty?!

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

I’m asking myself this every single day.

30 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

When someone has hurt you, remember that everyone has the same bodily functions as you do.

What I am saying is that, whenever someone has made you feel awful, just picture them farting. They aren’t so scary anymore now, are they?

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

I tried this and then I immediately felt bad because I pictured my mom finding out I thought such a ”vulgar” thought about her and shamed me for it

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Then picture her burping after shaming you. Who is ashamed now?

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Camila have you pictured these things about me?

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Yes.

#you’re my childhood rival #I need to picture you doing gross human things so I feel superior

76 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I remember when my coach told me I reminded her of a singer she loved as a kid. That singer made her heart beat a lot… and that’s why she wanted me to pursue music because I reminded her of it.

Anyway I am theorizing if she had a crush on that singer and now she wants me to give a new generation of girls crushes with my sweet melodies.

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

You're already giving this generation of girls crushes on you <3

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Define ”girls”. In plural. Haven’t seen or heard anyone except for Jim.

7 notes

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Tumblr is fun. I interact more with people I know irl on here than I do with them irl.

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Yeah, especially some people who you barely interact with irl and thus you don’t know them well enough to know it’s very obviously their Tumblr blog 🤣

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

He does not even seem to know the tumblr blogs of people he DOES interact with a lot irl. He may just suck at knowing people.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I know people!

I wish Gastón was here, he'd defend me.

📸 felicityfornow Follow

@rollertrack

🎥 rollertrack Follow

Oh hi. I’m here. I just don’t post a lot anymore I’m mostly here to send memes to people in DMs.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Can you help defend me from these people who tease me

🎥 rollertrack Follow

I always got your back, man 🙌🏼 But tbh it’s kind of funny how you aren’t figuring out who people are 😝 Some of these are so easy, and it’s people who I personally don’t talk to a lot either irl!

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Come on man… give me some hints

14 notes

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

At the convention now and I found a nice pin that suited me 💜

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

I love that so much! Wish I could have gone to the convention with you!

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Have you found any pin for me?

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

I found three pins, all that I think represent us three specifically. Guess which one is yours

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Please tell me you’re not at the starcon…

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

Oh i’m at the starcon! I’m not cosplaying or anything like that, and I’m into more niche things that I wouldn’t find here in the first place… however, I often end up finding something interesting, something I didn’t think I wanted. Like those pins, or sometimes VHS tapes of old stuff that are impossible to find, or are impossible to find with that dub.

Why? Are you there?

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

She is. She could go without even asking but not me because my dad can’t have control over her, but he refuses to let me do anything…

She’s also in cosplay >:3

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

I’m not in cosplay!!

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

She’s in cosplay ;) You’ll know exactly that it’s her when you see her

28 notes

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Hey I found something interesting while at the con!

I have no idea what the actual babygirls are in that competition but I vote for @rollerskatingonthemoon

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

In that case I vote for you back! 😜

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Yay may the best babygirl win!! 😍

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Why are you two like this

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

ÁMBAR IS A BABYGIRL TOO!!! VOTE FOR HER!!

💍 queenoftherink Follow

See this is why I don’t go to these cons. They make people weird.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

You’re missing out, we’re cosplaying Team Rocket right now and you would have made a perfect Meowth 😹

44 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

If my stepdaughter walks out in an astronaut outfit and cat ears, and having a spacy makeup, should I be concerned about that?

Or is it just the latest fashion?

0 notes

💅🏼 ja-jazmin Follow

I have a new video idea 😁 And I wanna ask you guys here before I ask people irl.

For people with uteruses: If you told your parents you were pregnant today, how would they react?

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

*wrecks the entire house in an angry rampage* ”WHAT?! WHO DID THIS TO YOU?!”

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

”Oh, who’s the father? Ha! Don’t tell me, it was just some random one, huh?”

Then she’d kind of accept it but make comments about me probably being unfit to raise a child (she tried to murder 3 people so idk if she’s the best example of how to be a good mother anyway)

💍 queenoftherink Follow

”I am going to assume you know what you’re doing, and that this was planned. I can provide you a room if you need to, but you have the responsibility yourself.”

It’s funny that I think that because

I live in a mansion with lots of rooms. I could be pregnant with quadruplets and everyone would have their own room

She doesn’t live here anymore

I guess I am just thinking more how she’d react back when she was the owner of the mansion. Like if she didn’t react like that then she’d maybe be supportive and then when the baby is born she tries to get custody of it or at least force me to live with her so she can be close to the child and influenser it.

But today I guess she’d just be like ”I’m happy” or something. She’s going through therapy. So am I because of the fact that she didn’t until now 😀👍

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

”Oh that’s great, sweetie. Want a cookie?”

(Then we would not discuss it more)

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I think my parents would be very happy for me, although because of my young age they’d act a bit cautious. But, they’d always be supportive ☺️ If the pregnancy was planned, I think they’d trust me that I’m ready, and if the pregnancy was unplanned, I think they’d support me in whatever choice I make about it.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

”Congratulations! Have you planned this for long? Do you know the donor?”

(in my case, I’d have to plan it and use a donor)

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Mom: ”You’re kidding! No!” *hugs me* ”Ok! Have you planned it? When’s the due date? Have you picked out a name? Have you bought everything for the nursery? Are you breastfeeding or bottle feeding? And you know the father is the father? No I’m just asking, sometimes I wonder if your dad is your dad… no, I didn’t cheat on him, but you know… maybe you were switched at birth.”

Dad: ”HI PREGNANT, I’M DAD! Oh, but wait, is it granddad now? No, because it’s YOU who is pregnant and YOU are my daughter, so yes, correct response…”

And bonus: My mom’s wife

”Aww, kisses in the air! Kisses at your belly! Wow! Maybe the child actually is red haired this time, we all thought you would be, but then your dad’s genes got too strong… or I don’t know.”

58 notes

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Last night I dreamt I got triplets, and I made teeny tiny beanies for them.

Anyway anyone wanna make triplets with me? 🥹

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I’m up for adopting triplets and we can raise them together as best friends who are co-parents 😂 Like your cousin and his band

💍 queenoftherink Follow

I’m up for having 3 children with you (although I’d settle with 2 tbh) but not at ONCE

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Ok but… hear me out…

You two, and another person, are surrogates who give birth at the same time and then I’ll take all the babies and dress them up in beanies

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Yeah no, either get me pregnant and expect ONE child per pregnancy, or raise adopted children with Luna as your platonic co-parent

💅🏼 ja-jazmin Follow

Wait, why can’t he get Luna pregnant? 🤔

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I don’t want to

💅🏼 ja-jazmin Follow

But why not? I thought you liked him 😉

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Jazmin, to keep this as simple as possible:

Luna and Simón are best friends and despite trying out some romance in the past, that’s all. They are very close and always will be close, but platonically. That’s why they won’t try for a baby, because they don’t have that relationship. If they raise a child it will be as platonic co-parents. And that child would most likely be adopted.

But me? Well… 😏

… Simón, actually, you wanna try for triplets? I can’t promise anything but come to my room in an hour

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Yay I can be a nanny for the potential triplets then 😁 Or one kid. Or twins.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

And Luna please leave the house for an hour or two

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Glad we solved this 🥳

Actually now I’m just excited if I end up with one kid 🤩

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Ok guys tmi

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Your existence is tmi

27 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I’m sure I can even turn straight girls a little sapphic 😏 /hj

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Hmm, has it ever happened?

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Well we can start with you. When you wanted to promote my singing and you just wrote a long poem about how my voice takes you to other worlds…

I was very flattered but also you turned into Sappho’s descendant with your descriptions 🙃

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Wait a minute…

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Wuh-oh

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Is this Luna’s secret side blog? Why else would Nina write about her singing?

Has Luna been dating Jim all this time?! And she fooled me by saying she ”barely interacted with me” to put me on the wrong path of figuring it out

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

HELP no i’m not dating Luna

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Matteo is gonna go through every person ever before even considering me

📸 felicityfornow Follow

At this point, I'm wondering if Matteo's gonna find out in the most unexpected and random way.

17 notes

[disworl]

Homestuck Music You Might Not Have Heard

[NOTE: Tumblr's formatting is really finicky so doing dual updates to this thing is not worth my time. If you want the most recent list, find it on Ao3.]

Yes, “MeGaLoVania” and “Time On My Side” are damn good songs, but a music catalogue this large is certain to have several diamonds in the rough. Here’s a selection of likewise lovely Homestuck music that you might not have heard.

V 1.0, updated 2022.10.10

I wrote this as an appreciation for all the wonderful music this comic has, and to give spotlight to the works that aren’t as well-known as “Black” and the like. Homestuck is a truly unique piece of media, and the soundtrack is one of the reasons why.

Great thanks to the HSMusic Wiki, which is what I used to check a track’s artist and contributor credits, whether it had been used in a flash, and what, if any other tracks it referenced. In my write-ups, I try to be as accurate as possible, but I’ve no music education aside from half-remembered childhood violin lessons. Apologies if I make a mistake.

I’m slowly working through the catalogue, so when I listen to more albums I’ll update this.

Full Playlist

Some Vague Guidelines

Official music only on Disc I Side A, with good semi-official unreleased tracks from the Homestuck Sound Test and some fan music on Disc I Side B. Disc II is the same, except in a bulleted list of every track covered, who it’s by, and what album it’s from, for the sake of readability.

The official music section is split into three categories: Deep Cuts From Popular Albums (popular being somewhat arbitrarily defined as Vol. 5, Strife!, Alterniabound, and both coloUrs and mayhem), Lesser-Known Takes on Something Else (for tracks that are well, primarily an interpretation of a pre-existing track, usually something more popular like “Doctor”), and Cool and New Music is for original compositions (though they may have minor references to other music).

Tracks are organized by chronological album release date pre-merger and the Vol. 1-4 re-release, and then by track order within the same album.

Nothing readily available from a Flash (so phonograph tracks and something like “Pony Chorale” are fine) is allowed.

Neither is anything with 1 million views or more (based on the most popular video at time of writing) on Youtube for Deep Cuts, and then for Lesser-Known Takes that threshold is halved, and again for Cool and New Music.

Themes from Alterniabound and the two ColoUrs and Mayhem albums ("Vriska’s Theme", "Green Ghost", "Rust Servant", et cetera) will not be included regardless of popularity because their obvious theming gives them an obvious profile for any fan of what character they’re for.

I will not be covering any albums released after Homestuck Vol. 10.

I want to keep featuring Toby Fox to a minimum – he’s a wonderful musician, but he is also by far the most well known member of the music and tends to overshadow everyone else by a wide margin.

Disc I - Side A

Side A Playlist.

Deep Cuts From Popular Albums

Deep Cuts Playlist.

“Light” by Erik “Jit” Scheele off of Homestuck Vol. 5 is a sort of comfortably adventurous composition that uses 413 as a chord progression. The piano melody that that leads off the track combined with the wind instrumentation gives the feeling of just a wonderful day, helped by the fan art for it in the Vol. 5 track art anthology fan project.

Also off of Vol. 5 , “Softly” by Robert J! Lake is a sweet toned electronic tune driven by a fuzzy, bouncing melody – though the beat gives it just a bit of an edge.

“Atomic Bonsai”, from hard-going solo album Strife! By Joren “Tensei” de Bruin, is the only kid strife track to not get used in some sort of official Homestuck-related thing (“Time on My Side” is a flash track, “Heir of Conditioning” was rearranged into flash track “Heir of Grief” in addition to being a phonograph tune in [S] Kanaya: Return to the Core, and “Dance of Thorns” was used in the Kickstarter video), and that’s a shame. It brings as much energy as the other three, and the combination of bass guitar and East Asian musical influence gives an equally unique sound with hook after hook.

Compared to the effervescence of Nepeta’s preceding music, “Catapult Capuchin” by Toby “Radiation” Fox off of AlterniaBound is nothing but the fierce hunter’s prowess on display in Video Game music fashion, as it was constructed from Mega Man X samples. It’s a high powerful ride throughout, but my favourite part is the bit at 00:33.

“Clockstopper” by viaSatellite and infiniteKnife off of coloUrs and mayhem: Universe B arguably counts for the first category, too, but I’m putting here because it’s specifically a symphonic rock mix of Beatdown, Atomyk Ebonpyre, and Upward Movement. The tension-building intro launching into the full force action of the flying strings always gets my blood pumping. My favourite take on Beatdown so far.

Lesser-Known Takes on Something Else

Lesser-Known Takes Playlist.

Humorous and infectious, “Pony Chorale” by Michael Guy Bowman with Tavia Morra off of Homestuck Vol. 4 is – well, it’s certainly a song! A mournful Western whistle on “Chorale for Jaspers” set to the beat of cartoonish hoof noises, punctuated by cymbals, all wrapped up with one simple word: neigh. And if you want some visuals for your viewing pleasure, there are two (probably not so) secret Flash pages for this song.

“Squidissension” by Mark Hadley, off of Homestuck Vol. 6 does an admirable and unique spin on the difficult job of combining the hyper-pop sugar-overdosed “Squiddles!” theme and the slightly ominous guardianstrife theme for Jade, “Dissension”. Serving as the main running melody, when shifted into minor key and given “Dissension” as a complement, “Squiddles!” becomes frantic instead of desperate, while “Dissension” is given that extra jump in momentum to keep pace, making for a track that’s something different, more adventurous, and more dire than either of its progenitors.

While it’s close to blowing the 500k Youtube requirement, “Anbroids 2.0” by Malcom Brown off of Homestuck Vol. 9 is still in the clear, so I’m putting it here as an early favourite of mine. With a very synthetic Strider sound, the track’s got a nice bouncy melody that serves as a fuller-realized version of the original “Anbroids” in the flash. Perfect for a rap-off.

“I’m a Member of the Midnight Crew (Post-Punk Version)”, by Michael Guy Bowman with Erik “Jit” Scheele and Marcy Nabors, from Homestuck Vol. 9, is a seedier, sharper, and stabbier take on the Victorian original and the acapella cover featured in the comic proper. The vocals just kill.

“II – Sarabande” by Clark “Plazmataz” Powell for her solo album Symphony Impossible to Play , is, unsurprisingly, a symphonic cover of “Sarabande” by Erik “Jit” Scheele. What might be surprising, however, is how much restraint is employed in it – the difference from the original is subtle, bearing a slowly rising string backing before the cello solo of the main melody kicks in around the minute mark.

Where “Homestuck Anthem” has a weird, portentous and artificial atmosphere, “Homestuck” a more present and traditional rendition, “Elevatorstuck” a dedicated – and listenable! – parody of muzak, and “Homosuck Anthem” a… copious amount of animal sound effects, “IV – Anthem”, also off of Symphony Impossible to Play brings a triumphant fanfare to the thematic melody for the comic. It is powerful and keeps the tension in the original throughout, driven by the backing – my favourite part is when the brass first cuts and you’re just left to bask only in the beat and the strings. “I – Overture” might have been the track to finish the comic, but I can’t think of a better track to end the album.

While the popularity of “Penumbra Phantasm” is debatable given that it’s never been released in full, “FantasyP”, by Erik “Jit” Scheele off of his solo album One Year Older, is a wonderfully hopeful and free take on “Penumbra Phantasm”, instead of referencing it as part of a larger composition. If you don’t know what “Penumbra Phantasm” is, prepare for roughly four minutes of “hey, that sounds familiar” while listening to just a really nice song – though, notably, it omits that one haunting piano riff from the original that serves as a code for a great many of the flashes. (One Year Older is available for free on Scheele’s bandcamp.)

“Another Chance”, a bonus track from One Year Older but done by Eston “silence” Schweickart”, is a synth remix of “Walk-Stab-Walk (R&E)” that gives the already good track some serious extra juice.

Starting off as a far-off sounding piano rendition of “Ruins” before crackling into a mechanized-backing of “Flare”, then bringing in clear, present electric guitar at 2:00 and finally adding in “Explore”, “Solar Voyage” by Marcy Nabors (with several others, check Disc II for full credits) off of Homestuck Vol. 10 definitely feels like a journey. The twists and progression on these recognizable musical staples are a sound to behold.

“Conclude” by Seth “Beatfox” Peelle, also off the same album, is the closer to the final volume of Homestuck music, and it lives up to the challenge. Beginning with a flying rendition of Sburban Jungle that turns the frenetic rush of the original into a hopeful retrospective, before switching to a bittersweet refrain of “Showtime”, the song then dives into original territory with a fanfare at 4:13, backed by “Skies of Skaia”, before closing with a soaring rendition of “Homestuck”, free and full of light in comparison to the pounding might of “IV – Anthem”. It’s a wonderful encapsulation of the complicated feelings flowing into one another that come with the end of a comic that means so much. My favourite bit is the far-off echoed “Showtime” at 1:19 – looking at the early morning of that April 13th, 2009. It did turn out to be a very long day, after all.

Cool And New Music

Cool and New Music Playlist.

“Squiddle Samba” by Michael Guy Bowman off of the album Squiddles! (no longer for sale, do with that information what you will), a thematic concept theme giving a whole extensive soundtrack to a fictitious children’s television show, is an energetic and bubbly jam that does not take the concept so far that an excess of irony is needed to enjoy it (though, the sugarily crystalline Squiddle voices appear for a scant fifteen seconds near the end, if that’s what you’re for).

Also off the same album, “Ocean Stars” by Mark Hadley is a calming, sweet and savoury treat to top off the excess of sugar cubes (and occasion tentacles) put on your musical plate. The layered build-up of the various elements is simple, befitting a children’s show, but done oh-so-well in a way that gives it meat.

“The Lemonsnout Turnabout” by Toby Fox for his solo album Alternia is a narrative piece wherein a young Trollian girl has an intrumental motif established (Neo-baroque harpsichord), and sets to take in a certain neon yellow draconian senator (represented by an oboe) for adjustments. In contrast to “Terezi’s Theme” and its more faster action, there’s a certain cerebral, well-plotted atmosphere to “The Lemonsnout Turnabout”. You can see the wind-up of the machinery fueling Terezi’s long noose in nailing Lemonsnout, echoed by the fearful groan of that oboe and the sharp jabs of the harpsichord in turn.

Also from Alternia, “dESPERADO ROCKET CHAIRS,” establishes Tavros with a Latin theme the way “The Lemonsnout Turnabout” establishes Terezi with the harpischord. It begins a short intro, before the horns really come in blaring – a far shot from the dying string reference of “Rex Duodecim Angelus”. Tavros is a dork, but he’s got fire behind him, and “dSPERADO ROCKET CHAIRS,” does a good job of showing that.

“Shade” by Clark “Plazmataz” Powell off of her solo album Medium, themed around the kid’s lands. A mixture of synthetic and often industrial noise combined with more organic instrumentation helps express the strangeness of these game worlds. In “Shade”, the shimmering melody that drives the track forward expresses the quiet and curious nature of the bioluminescence of LOWAS, before transitioning into a piano tune made for Typheus.

“Heat”, off the same album, takes a more hard-pressed approach, utilizing scissoring violin backdropped against industrial swirl to conjure up the swelter of churning lava in LOHAC. When the violin breaks free of that rhythm to climb, it only adds to the drama, and the song ends by sonically pulling away from the ebb and flow to leave the planet behind.

Starting off with thunder, “Exodus” by Tyler Dever for his solo album Sburb and performed by Erik “jit” Scheele, Exodus balances the apocalyptic severity of the meteors sent during the beginning hours of SBURB with skittering notes of the various players attempting to enter the medium. It closes out with a stark, last-second rendition of “Sburban Jungle” before quietly fading. (Sburb is available for free on Dever’s bandcamp.)

“Carapacian Dominion” by Seth “Beatfox” Peelle, opening the exile-themed album The Wanderers (also unavailable for purchase), sets the stage for the rest of the music by combining more unexplored, ethnic sound with a more Homestuck-typical industrial beat that’s perfect for the long trek along the desert of earth, years in the future (but not many).

In contrast to the forward-hiking rhythm of “Carapacian Dominion”, “Aimless Morning Gold” by Michael Guy Bowman off the same album is a track for staying in one place. Glittering synth (?) notes linger and warp in the heat, contrasted by the lazy ramble of the bass, all punctuated by a slight turn to Westerns with rattling machine gun shots.

And taking a strong turn from both of them, “Years in the Future” by Robert J! Lake, still off of the same album, is track following in Lake’s style of slightly eclectic, slightly choppy, but nevertheless catching and catchy electronic noise tunes. It takes a bit for the track to get going, but the combination of blips and bleeps that all call up the idea of electronic communication in the Can Town of the future makes for a wonderful swirl in the end.

“Derse Dreamers” might be one of the most famous songs in Homestuck, but that isn’t to say Prospit is lacking in terms of good music. “Center of Brilliance” by Solatrus for his solo album Prospit & Derse, themed around, well, you guess, begins with a shimmering chiming intro before bass and piano step in to bring a more full view of the center of the golden moon. The regal fanfare and drum setup ties things to Prospit’s formal atmosphere as a contrast to John and Jade’s instruments of choice. Something I like for all of the Prospit songs in the album is the bass guitar – it stands out as a driving instrument rather than just backing, and it’s true here, too. (Prospit & Derse is available for free on Solatrus’ bandcamp.)

“Song of Skaia” by Mark Hadley with Tarien Ainuvë, off of the same-titled album, is probably most recognizable as the bursting upswell chorus three minutes into “Creata”. Compared to that triumphant recital, however, “Song of Skaia” takes a more singular approach. It’s more minimalistic, and generally has the feeling of looking down from a thousand miles out in space.

“Cancerous Core” by Erik “Jit” Scheele gives a very short moment in the comic – the descent into Skaia – a full musical backing. The subtle brush of the air in combination with the restless roll of the piano in Locrian mode, accompanied by the ancient call of the wind instrumentation. It’s a track that definitely calls a strange and perhaps unsettling journey into some unseen world.

Alien and enchanting, “Voidlight” by Thomas Ferkol off of Homestuck Vol. 10 bears a flowing atmosphere that still contains a sense of drama. From commentary, it’s based on Calliope hiding in the Furthest Ring, which makes sense for the quiet not yet calm nature. The strings in the intro help convey the quiet, secluded landscape, and all around it’s a wonderfully ethereal piece.

“Feel (Alive)” by Luke Benjamins and Robert J! Lake from the same album, on the other hand, is a straight up chiptune rocker. It’s got raucous energy that absolutely earns its title.

Disc I - Side B

Side B Playlist (incomplete, not every track is on Youtube).

Homestuck Sound Test Gems

Sound Test Playlist (incomplete, not every Sound Test track is on Youtube).

“Cuttlefish Rag” by Alexander “Albatross Soup” Rosetti is a jaunty little ragtime tune originally written for Squiddles! , though you could also easily interpret it as a track for Feferi.

All memery aside, “Karkalicious (Guitarkind)” is a rockin’ guitar addition to a short excerpt of the Broadwaystuck classic. Yes, it’s hilarious. It also has some genuinely sick riffs. I daresay “Karkalicious” has never sounded so good.

“Mother (Davekind)” by Erik “Jit” Scheele is a take on “Mother” from One Year Older (can you tell I really like this album?) but in the style of Dave instead of John, trading out the slow, matured piano and strings for synths and turntables with a more energetic beat.

“Sea of Derse” got more instrumentation for the jazzy and relaxed “Breeze” in Homestuck Vol. 10, but in some ways I like the slightly more melancholic, stripped-down piano original.

“today i butchered a homestuck song (three in the A M)” by James “soselfimportant” Roach is a slightly weird, catching arrangement on “Three in the Morning”. In some way, it’s a precursor to what Roach did with “Karkat’s Theme”, “Terezi’s Theme”, and “Davesprite” for the Pesterquest soundtrack.

“Aggrieve (Piano) v2” by Toby Fox is… well, it’s a piano arrangement of “Aggrieve”, the second of three, and the best of them. I might be biased in terms of instrumentation, but what makes this track so good personally (and in fact, my favourite version of “Aggrieve”) is that it brings a level of energy that tends to be sublimated for a more measured and cerebral Lalondian pace – even in “Aggrievocation”. There’s a lot of great moments in this track, but my favourite bit’s around 1:42.

Fan Music Gems

Fan Music Playlist (incomplete, not every fan music track is on Youtube).

Found in the ~2011 Fan Music compilation of the Homestuck Archives, “Sunrise” by Yan “Nucleose” Rodriguez is a cheery guitar cover of the previously mentioned “Light”. It brings a sharper edge to the main melody, definitely befitting those first cracks of light over the horizon. I might like this more than the original. (Ironically, a later track by Scheele for One Year Older used the same title, and also referenced “Light”.)

“Sunshaker” by D. Crystal off of Land of Fans and Music is a very faithful jazz arrangement of “Sunsetter”. It’s mellower than both “Sunsetter” and “Sunslammer”, but still upbeat, all pinned together by that rolling piano.

Done by “Tarranon” for the concept album Sburb OST, “Amongst Smiling Faces [Prospitian Dignitaries]” is a theme for the agents of the Prospit. As its title might suggest, it takes a much more relaxed tone than Prospit & Derse’s regality, going downright pastoral with a sound not out of place for a first town in a JRPG.

“Waste of Space” by therosielord off of Songs for Monsters , is a lamentful fansong for Jade H arley on the occasion of her death in the Game Over timeline. The lyric s have some really clever moments underscoring Jade’s rise in agency, only to see that same agency fall by the wayside through death and grimbarkification. The ambling, almost slee py guitar backing only underscores the tragedy. (“Waste of Space” is the first of a quartet of songs for the Beta kids – the girls’ featured on Songs for Monsters , and the boys’ featured on Songs for Gods .)

The third in the Beta Kids quartet by therosielord and off of Songs for Gods, “Out of Time” is a fansong for, of course, Dave Strider. It’s a rambling, wordplay-laden tune that’s set to the relentless pace of Sburb on a single day in April, before scratching and resetting to a layered repetition of information and elements. The verse at 2:12 is my favourite of all of the Beta kid songs.

The twelve fansongs for the trolls might be PhemieC’s most famous contribution to Homestuck fandom, but the songs off of their other album, Songs for a Doomed Timeline aren’t slacking, either. “The Path” is one of their less well-known works – a fansong for Alpha Dave and Rose. Prognostic and methodical, it’s sung with the unclouded and heavy knowledge of the events to come, and the lyricism is sharp at every corner.

Yeah, I’m waiving the no character themes rule for Fan Music, because Fan Music is already niche enough. “♐Broken Strings♐” by psithurist off of Ancestral , an album dedicated to the ancestors, is an off-beat math rock styled string track for E%ecutor Darkleer. The odd rhythm and combination of strings and percussion is perfect for the loyal agent of the empire turnt exile.

“Of Rust and Royalty” by Grace Medley and off of the same album is a thudding nu disco take on the fight between the Handmaid and the Condesce, splicing up various elements of Rust Servant/Rust Apocalypse, Fuchsia Ruler, and Eternity Served Cold in a way that sells the power of the two (three?) individuals involved.

“The End of Something Really Excellent” by Rhyselinn off of Lands of Fans and Music 4 is, itself, a r eally e xcellent medley of “ The Beginning of Something Really Excellent” and a lot of narrative Homestuck hits. The tone is mostly relieved and a little nostalgic, like finally being able to catch a real breath after two very long days and three years of a suspense-building in-between – a nice contrast to the more triumphant and energetic musical recaps in Homestuck. The commentary has both and outline of how the song follows the plot of Homestuck and timestamps for each song referenced.

“Calming Quartz” by PoisonedElite is the opener for Xenoplanetarium, an album in a similar vein as Medium, only for the trolls’ planets instead. Whereas Medium touches on the at least tangential familiarity that comes with the kids’ planets by utilizing industrial sounds with organic instruments, Xenoplanetarium at its best gives an odd and isolated soundtrack to its subjects, and “Calming Quartz” is exemplary in that. The bounding piano reflects the glacial nature of the quartz in LOQAM, backdropped by music box melody fitting with the cardinal movement. That melody’s isolation and eventual fade into mechanized hum at the end might be my favourite part of the song.

Continuing in the steed of “Calming Quartz”, “Sandy Skyline” by Aris Martinian from the same album brings the ever-stretching dunes of LOSAZ with some notes in the breeze and strong low stringwork, set to a clicking rhythm. The echo processing effect is noticeable but not too excessive, all making for a track perfect for that orange expanse.

Disc II - Side A

Side A Playlist.

Deep Cuts From Popular Albums

Deep Cuts Playlist.

“Light” – Erik “Jit” Scheele (Homestuck Vol. 5)

“Softly” – Robert J! Lake (Homestuck Vol. 5)

“Atomic Bonsai” – Joren “Tensei” de Bruin (Strife!)

“Catapult Capuchin” – Toby “Radiation” Fox (Alterniabound)

“Clockstopper” – viaSatellite, infiniteKnife (coloUrs and mayhem: Universe B)

Lesser-Known Takes on Something Else

Lesser-Known Takes Playlist.

“Pony Chorale” – Michael Guy Bowman with Tavia Morra (Homestuck Vol. 4)

“Squidissension” – Mark Hadley (Homestuck Vol. 6)

“Anbroids 2.0” – Malcom Brown (Homestuck Vol. 9)

“I’m a Member of the Midnight Crew (Post-Punk Version)” – Michael Guy Bowman with Erik “Jit” Scheele” and Marcy Nabors (Homestuck Vol. 9)

“II – Sarabande” – Clark “Plazmataz” Powell (Symphony Impossible to Play)

“IV – Anthem” – Clark “Plazmataz” Powell (Symphony Impossible to Play)

“FantasyP” – Erik “Jit” Scheele” (One Year Older)

“Another Chance” – Eston “silence” Schweickart (One Year Older)

“Solar Voyage” – Marcy Nabors with Michael Guy Bowman, Clark “Plazmataz” Powell, Erik “Jit” Scheele”, Joren “Tensei” de Bruin”, Paul Henderson, and Jamie Page Stanley (Homestuck Vol. 10)

“Conclude” Seth “Beatfox” Peele (Homestuck Vol. 10)

Cool and New Music

Cool and New Music Playlist.

“Squiddle Samba” – Michael Guy Bowman (Squiddles!)

“Ocean Stars” – Mark Hadley (Squiddles!)

“The Lemonsnout Turnabout” – Toby Fox (Alternia)

“Desperado Rocket Chairs” – Toby Fox (Alternia)

“Shade” – Clark “Plazmataz” Powell (Medium)

“Heat” – Clark “Plazmataz” Powell (Medium)

“Exodus” – Tyler Dever and Erik “Jit” Scheele” (Sburb)

“Carapacian Dominion” – Seth “Beatfox” Peele (The Wanderers)

“Aimless Morning Gold” – Michael Guy Bowman (The Wanderers)

“Years In The Future” – Robert J! Lake (The Wanderers)

“Center of Brilliance” – Solatrus (Prospit & Derse)

“Song of Skaia” – Mark Hadley with Tarien Ainuvë (Song of Skaia)

“Cancerous Core” – Erik “Jit” Scheele (One Year Older)

“Voidlight” – Thomas Ferkol (Homestuck Vol. 10)

“Feel (Alive)” – Luke Benjamins and Robert J! Lake (Homestuck Vol. 10)

Disc II - Side B

Side B Playlist (incomplete, not every track is on Youtube).

Homestuck Sound Test Gems

Sound Test Playlist (incomplete, not every Sound Test track is on Youtube).

Cuttlefish Rag – Alexander “Albatross Soup” Rosetti

“Karkalicious (Guitarkind)” – Joren “Tensei” de Bruin

“Mother (Davekind)” – Erik “Jit” Scheele

“Sea of Derse” – Erik “Jit” Scheele

“today I butchered a song (3 in the A M)” – James “soselfimportant” Roach

“Aggrieve (Piano) v2” – Toby “Radiation” Fox

Fan Music Gems

Fan Music Playlist (incomplete, not every fan music track is on Youtube).

“Sunrise” – Yan “Nucleose” Rodriguez

“Sunshaker” – D.Crystal (Land of Fans and Music)

“Amongst Smiling Faces [Prospitian Dignitaries]” – Tarranon (Sburb OST)

“Waste of Space” – the rosielord (Songs for Monsters)

“Out of Time” – therosielord (Songs for Gods)

“The Path” – PhemieC (Songs for a Doomed Timeline)

“♐Broken Strings♐” – psithurist (Ancestral)

“Of Rust and Royalty” – Grace Medley (Ancestral)

“The End of Something Really Excellent” – Rhyselinn (Land of Fans and Music 4)

“Calming Quartz” – PoisonedElite (Xenoplanetarium)

“Sandy Skyline” – Aris Martinian (Xenoplanetarium)

[eregyrn-falls]

LOL, yeah, I'm nothing if not a pedant. I didn't go into it in depth because replies, but, to expand a little on what I mean:

Toys are like fashion. Scratch that, toys are fashion. Meaning, they have eras and styles, and, they help to define an era's feel and style. A Howdy Doody doll is a 50s toy. He-Man action figures are 80s toys. An 80s video game has a distinct look and feel, and you won't mistake it for a 90s or 00s game.

I do realize that for younger folks, toys of the past kind of all blur together (especially if those toys persist into the present; does Monopoly feel like a 1930s game to you? It is! And I'd argue that the art style of the little drawings are very 30s.) And if you haven't really looked into it, toy styles aren't necessarily as familiar as clothing styles are. (More folks will know that a poodle skirt is a 50s fashion item, that bell-bottoms belong to the late 60s and early 70s. Most people would know that nobody in 1952 is gonna be wearing bell-bottoms or something that looks like it belongs on the disco floor.)

But in the U.S., the Rubik's Cube arrived with the 80s, and it is (as I said) one of the defining toys of the decade. It's design is a little bit timeless, rather than dated. Perhaps you could argue that there is a certain amount of pop-art feel to it that could situate it in the early 60s. (I'd say that its color scheme would have been different if it had come out earlier.) It is as much of its era as the original My Little Ponys are.

If you go and look at toys that were popular in the late 60s, my guess is that you'd be surprised at how old-fashioned they, and their advertising, look. They "feel" stylistically more 50s-ish, or at least early 60s, but that's because toy design and advertising design tended to lag behind popular culture. Despite people now associating the late 60s with the counterculture hippies, they were just a fraction of the population and at the time wouldn't have been perceived as a demographic to be targeted with ad art in their style; especially not for toys, which are targeting little kids and their parents.

While it's obviously a brief sequence, the fandom has pored over the views of the Stans' childhood room from the early 60s, and I've always admired what a fantastic job Ian Worrel did on the background details. Everything in these shots FEELS like it's from the early 60s, 50s, or before. (Because, toys can get passed down, so you could find toys from the 40s here as well. The Viewmaster? Came out in the 40s. The Magic 8 Ball? Also came out in the 40s. Lincoln Logs are from the 20s. But all were still being manufactured and sold.)

So I realize I'm an outlier, but I can't accept the Rubik's Cube as being in the late 60s; it doesn't FEEL right, because I was a kid when it came out, and thus I associate it with a particular span of years in my early teens and all of the other pop-culture going on at the time. It'd be like putting the Care Bears into the late 60s; wrong design and palette entirely.

So there you have my entirely too long dissection of one detail in what was, after all, meant as a gag image! (That is, meant to be absurd.)

(I also never understood how the Rubik's Cube part would simulate kissing??? At least Mabel's leaf-blower kissing practice has *some* relationship to kissing-related things, although even that is a huge stretch.)

I refuse to believe the kissing machine and this is a hill I will die on

[pinkpastels113]

Horses are afraid of Chloe. Chloe is afraid of horses. But Beca is the solution.

I dunno. I read some posts of you and your were asking for promts, but it may is very outdated. So I dunno.

@anastasia-93-daybidaylove now you see how this does NOT involve beca dressing up as a horse? jeezus that conversation is going to be forever ingrained into my mind.

also hai stau! hope you like this :DD

read on ao3 or below~

Chloe isn’t afraid of many things.

But now, as she stares terrifyingly at the dark eyes boring back into her, Chloe suddenly becomes aware that many isn’t all, that many doesn’t mean that she isn’t afraid of some things.

Namely, horses.

The smell of dry grass and flakey dirt and distinct mammal brings back the memories of a facefull of sand, rocks, and of a salty wetness that she has tried numerous times to forget, and Chloe shudders, gulps with extreme difficulty at the possibility of having to endure through such a heart-stopping, nightmare-inducing, and childhood-ruining experience once again.

The scar on her forehead tingles, like a freshly irritated scab in the sun.

“Come on, Ginger, let’s get on with it! Some of us are actually excited to compare the rodeo of riding their first ever pony to wrestling a crocodile.”

Ginger. There have been worse names that Chloe has been referenced to before.

She trembles, taking a hasty step back. The horse seems to sense her trepidation, whining low before mirroring the action. Something flashes in its intelligent gaze, something close to agitation.

And Chloe may not have been around horses much- or at all- since that incident- well, till now, but she knows and loves and has experienced with animals enough to understand that an agitated creature means a troubled creature, able to cause unintentional harm if not pacified quickly with caution.

Chloe certainly isn’t going to be the one being cautious, she is barely able to hold herself upright in her current predicament.

“Oi!”

It’s maddening, the unhealthy rate at which her heart is pounding. Chloe knows that she doesn’t have to do this, to get on the saddle and hold on for a trek around the makeshift track, but none of the Bellas know and Chloe Beale is reputable for not being afraid of many things.

She toes a tentative millimeter forward, only to automatically snap right back.

She couldn’t do this. She will never be able to get over the twinge in her chest whenever her finger brushes against the line on her forehead, the slight squeeze of her heart whenever inquires about her early school life.

Chloe wants to cry. She can feel the sting already in the back of her eyes, the indication that she has failed yet again, this time surrounded by her newfound friends, and-

A hand settles gently on the small of her back.

“Chloe?”

Chloe turns, sniffling, her vision a little blurry around the edges as she looks dazedly at Beca. Beca, who is confused, curious, likely wondering why the heck it is that she is taking so damn long to just swing her leg over-

“Beca. Bec, I-” she swallows, her breath painfully suppressed in the column of her throat as she struggles to breathe. “There was this barn that I went to with my uncle when I was little in the countryside, and there was this horse, and-”

Beca rubs soothing circles through the fabric of her shirt, stepping to the side and angling herself so that Chloe is hidden from the rest of the Bellas. When Chloe stutters and doesn’t continue, Beca searches her face with something akin to sympathy, compassion, a glint of protectiveness that is uncharacteristic of her “alt girl” persona, “And what happened, Chlo? You can tell me. If you want.”

And Chloe finds that she does want to tell her, if only to have something to say to calm down her nerves. She has built on her confidence the older that she got, the further that she went on with her education, when she started to realize that her looks aren’t the defining force of her personality and that bullies are just ultimately mindless jerks. She has embraced her scar thus far as a physical attribute to her features, even going so far as to say that one time that it adds to her personality, so she knows that the problem isn’t the scar itself, but rather what had caused it.

Beca has always been an easy person to talk to, someone who despite what she says isn’t at all overly judgemental but genuinely very accepting. She is someone who is embracive of the uniqueness and flaws in the world, able to transform them into something beautiful, engaging.

So if Chloe had to pick someone to talk to about why it is that she is now scared to death of horses- of the notion of being near one let alone climb on one- it is her.

She takes a deep breath. “I was lifted up into the air by my uncle who had no idea how to take care of a five year old on a full grown horse, put on the worn out saddle, and let go without adult supervision or security or even with my hands properly on the mane down a trail. I fell off onto my face on top of the rocks and the sand and bled so much that I had to get thirteen stitches on the center of my forehead. I was bullied for looking like a red haired Frankenstein all throughout elementary and the first year of middle school and in that time I just… I dunno, connected everything to that trauma and became deathly terrified of horses, I guess.”

Beca blinks, and then nods. She doesn’t ask whether Chloe is okay, why she had lied when everyone had been interested to know more about the faint line now resting just beneath her hairline, or any of the unimportant and pointless questions that Chloe frankly doesn’t even want to think about how to answer.

She simply says, “Okay.”

Then-

“Do you wanna try to see if you can overcome it? I know how determined you can get when you’re trying to beat something that you don’t like, and based on how long I saw you debating from back there, I can tell that there is at least some part of you that is curious to see if you can kick this fear’s ass. You obviously don’t have to, you know, I’m just saying that I will be here if you decide that you do. Want to. Or whatever.”

Chloe laughs, wiping the last of the mist from her eyes. Beca is such an idiot. An adorable, rambling idiot. Who knows just what she needs. “Here? To help me? Are you an expert now, Bec?”

Beca smiles, looking relieved that Chloe has stopped tearing up. Fat Amy shouts at them to move faster again and she huffs, refusing to withdraw her hand from its ministrations on Chloe’s back even as she responds over her shoulder,

“You all can shove it! There is more than one horse in this fairground and Stacie is on the other one, so take turns with her and suck it up till Chloe returns, alright? We’re gonna be here for the entire afternoon. So there’s more than enough time for everyone to have their fun.”

Beca shakes her head at the chorus of groans and cheers emanating from the crowd. She then rolls her eyes at Chloe, who is giggling at her dramatics. “Children, every single one of them. Without Aubrey we are both the literal parents here.”

And just like that, Chloe is able to forget her inhibitions long enough for her mental stability to revert back to normal, “It is wonderful to be stuck as a parent with you, Becs.”

Beca blushes at the wink Chloe delivers, nudging at the base of her spine with the guidance of her palm, “Quit teasing, Beale, and get on with this ass kicking.”

Turns out, Beca had been very observant when the instructor- some random tall guy- was teaching them on how to mount (before slinking off to flirt with his girlfriend), and is just as diligent in remembering and repeating the same directions, coaxing Chloe up the steps to face her body sideways in the same direction as her horse and making sure that it is balanced safely for the both of them before encouraging Chloe on. Surprisingly- or maybe not so, because Chloe is with Beca, after all, the person that she is basically in love with the better part of the past three years- Chloe doesn’t have much difficulty in accomplishing this task with Beca as her guide, beyond the initial spike of brief anxiety that was gently let down by Beca’s hand on Chloe’s thigh, followed a reassuring quirk of her lips.

I’m right here, Beca had said, in the sparkle of her eyes and tilt of her head, and Chloe had listened.

She’d willed her heartbeat to slow down, her lungs to expand and contract to the demonstration that Beca was giving, and eventually, she’d been capable of grabbing ahold of the reins from Beca’s grasp without fumbling.

Beca murmured a “great job” when Chloe breathed a sigh of relief after settling safely onto the saddle, and made a joke about how her horse is like her spirit animal, skittish when she is afraid, friendly when she is not.

Chloe hadn’t been confident enough to remove one of her hands to swat at her, so she had pouted, gripping tightly onto the reins as Beca double- triple- checked her protective gear.

Now, Beca is quietly sneaking a very small apple slice to Chloe’s horse, while Chloe is continuing to regulate her breathing and pulse rate in preparation for the ride.

“You good?” she says, wiping her palm against the denim of her jeans.

Chloe gazes down at her, taking in Beca’s dark locks, the curve of her nose, the part of her mouth, the glare from her sunglasses.

Her brain scrambles, but this time it’s in panic for a different reason, entirely.

Chloe isn’t afraid of many things, but besides horses being on the list of things that she is afraid of, telling Beca Mitchell that she loves her and appreciates her beyond anything else in this entire world comes to a close second.

“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks, Bec.”

Beca’s teeth flashes, something that always, always, sends Chloe’s stomach for an intoxicating swoop, “But of course. You’re my co-parent after all. Now get on with it, alright? I want a ride too.”

--

fin.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

tagged by @cheersmequeers and @shugarmelon85 💖💖💖

three ships: (im going for Life-Defining ships that took over my brain at some point or another)

gentlebeard (OMFD) bc of course

stucky (MCU) fuck marvel but "repressed crush on your childhood best friend to thinking your childhood best friend died to realizing your childhood best friend survived and was brainwashed to be an assassin and has no idea who you are and has been ordered to kill you" altered my brain chemistry in middle school

davekat (Homestuck) cringe is dead and this one altered my brain chemistry in high school

first ever ship:

percabeth (percy jackson) the og... these children hold a special place in my heart. altered my brain chemistry in elementary school lol

last song:

there was a post on my dash that i cant find rn but it linked to a wlw spotify playlist that i've been listening to for the past few days. the last song i listened to was BONNIE by Vylet Pony

last film:

im trying to figure out the timeline here and i cant remember if the last movie i saw was Wendell & Wild or uh. Bones and All.

ohhhhkay i looked that the movie release dates and FUCK i think it was Bones and All lmaooooooooohfjehguhvhgriu

if y'all REALLY want to get to know me better then click this link

also jesus fuck i haven't watched a movie in ages

currently reading:

lmao... Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. very, very slowly, tho

i'd list some fics except that im incapable of not just reading a whole fic in one sitting (yes 100k word fics included) so im not actually in the middle of any fics right now. rip

currently watching:

The Last of Us but im not allowed to watch it without my dad so by the time we sit down for the most recent episode it's like two days before the next one airs

currently consuming:

i have two pints of ben and jerry's in the fridge downstairs and im gonna grab one in a minute. i forget what flavors they are tho

currently craving:

blackbonnet sex scene. i need her so bad

tagging: @asneakyfox, @batsarebetterthanpeople, @blackbeardskneebrace, @chuplayswithfire, @emi--rose, @kityana, @thetardigrape, @thermoskind, and @wearfinethingsalltoowell! no pressure and also apologies if you've already been tagged lol

[papa-rhys]

Thoughts on Jack and His Borderline Personality Disorder and How It Shows Through His Behaviour - Because I Cannot Stop Analysing Things That Ultimately Aren’t Important

Symptoms/behaviours under the cut because holy hell this guy has a lot of them. Like, honey, are you okay?

Okay, so I’m pretty sure I can trace Jack’s BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) back to his grandmother. His mum abandoned him, which shows a reckless/irresponsible behaviour and her mum had fits of rage that didn’t correlate at all with the trigger (ie; drowning Jack’s cat because he didn’t make his bed). So I think he has a family history of it, with both his mother and grandmother having BPD and passing it down to him.

Either way, Jack definitely has it. In fact, he’s a textbook case of it.

Impulsivity

Spending sprees: he bought a pony made of diamonds because he was bored and throws money at all kinds of ventures to keep him occupied and because he wants to. I really don’t know how else to describe this one lol. He bought a pony. Made of diamonds. Because he could.

Gambling: won some of the things on his trophy shelf through poker and owns an entire casino. Hunting the Vaults themselves were a huge gamble too, especially the first two, since he wasn’t truly sure that they existed. He was prepared to sacrifice a lot in order to come out on top in both his career and his social standing. All in all, he’s reckless.

Binge eating: he doesn’t even like pretzels, but still eats them because he’s either bored or stressed. Talks about food quite a bit in conversation, too, especially his cravings.

Substance abuse: admits to being high on uppers for the duration of the pre sequel (and his time on Elpis as a whole) and tells further anecdotes about drugs and getting high in tftbl.

Promiscuity/unsafe sex: nothing about having sex with Nisha is safe lol. But in all seriousness, there’s no way to prove this one. He does strike me as the reckless sex sort though. No proof, just 7 years of knowing him as a character.

Emotional instability

Inappropriate trigger response: he strangles a man to death for simply mentioning his wife, stabs Lilith for talking about Angel, and tries to kill Rhys for not being sure about his grand plan (more on this later). His response to triggers is disproportionate, often resulting in extreme anger over small things that don’t warrant that intense of a reaction. He gets big angry about almost everything; there’s no middle ground. His reaction is never really “you’re annoying me a lot” or “don’t talk about that, I don’t like it.” His reaction to almost everything is “oh my god I will murder your first born child how dare you-”

Quickly changing mood: aside from being prone to fits of rage at the flick of a switch, Jack also flicks back to “normal” pretty quickly, too. He flips between telling you to kill yourself after surviving the train and then talks casually about his day. He’ll be filled with rage after Angel’s death and then suddenly he’s laughing about you jumping into lava and having fun tricking you into visiting his grandmother. He can be intensely angry or sorrowful one moment and then nonchalant and sociable the next. His moods don’t last very long.

Idolisation/devaluation

Jack does this with numerous people across the games, but the two shining examples are Moxxi and Rhys; Rhys being the most notable. He idolises Moxxi, complimenting her on how attractive she is and how smart she is and including her in his circle of close friends/teammates. Then the inevitable happens and she lets him down and he instantly changes his opinion on her as if he’d never thought she was good to begin with. The same happens with Rhys. Throughout tftbl, Jack is best friends with Rhys and seems to form a one-sided connection with him where he idolises him and thinks they’re going to be best friends for ever and that they’re the perfect team. You cannot make him mad at you in tftbl (trust me, I’ve tried). He’s encouraging to Rhys the whole way through, like they’re brothers. Then the second Rhys displays doubts about something Jack is passionate about, Jack reacts violently and completely devalues Rhys, claiming him to be his mortal enemy and trying to kill him. People with BPD do this often. They have strong convictions and have a tendency to feel betrayed by people who go against those convictions. Jack does this regularly and it leads to the breakup of a lot of his relationships.

Paranoia

He vented a room full of scientists into space, just in case. I mean, that pretty much sums it up, really. Jack is under a lot of stress at this point in the game and stress-induced paranoia is a particularly difficult symptom of BPD. With him already feeling the pressure, the mention of a possible mole is a huge trigger for Jack. Especially since he’s reeling from the recent betrayal from a friend. His brain is already working over time, planting uneasy feelings of distrust and being unsafe. So when he’s presented with the idea from an outside source, he runs with it. Betrayal goes on to become a big button to push in Jack’s life to the extent that he actively betrays people before they get a chance to betray him (ie; killing Wilhelm). Paranoia feeds into a lot of Jack’s bad decisions, particularly in the pre sequel era.

Delusion

Jack wasn’t lying when he told us that he’s the hero. He absolutely was not the hero at all, but he wasn’t lying about it. Because lying about something implies that you know it’s not true, and Jack genuinely believes he’s a good person. The best person, in fact. It’s not a lie because in his mind, it’s the god given truth. He’s massively delusional, even before the events of the pre sequel. He’ll spout all the cheesy 80s movie lines about saving the moon and being the hero and he thinks he’s the protagonist of his own big adventure. We know that’s not what’s happening, but Jack doesn’t see it that way. Another delusion is the idea he has about how much everyone loves him. He thinks Moxxi is obsessed with him and he thinks Angel is being forced to work against him. He cannot conceive of a world in which people don’t like him or agree with him. Because why wouldn’t they agree with him? He’s the hero. Everybody loves the hero...

Intense but unstable relationships

Moxxi, Angel, Lilith, the Vault Hunter; I could go on. Jack’s relationships with people are volatile and rocky, even when they’re seemingly on the same side like with Moxxi or even Nisha (who he forms a tight bond with very quickly). People with BPD feel all emotions intensely, which causes a roller coaster. Jack really likes Moxxi, but then he doesn’t want to talk to her, but then he wants her on the team, but then he gets mad at her for calling him a pet name and beign friendly, and then he’s telling her she’s sexy, and then he’s cursing her, and then he’s hanging pictures of her in his casino. It’s the same with Angel - he subjects her to physical torture, then he loves her, then he’s mad at her for helping the Vault Hunter, then he’s doting on her, then he’s manipulating her, then he’s grieving for her. Everything is a whirlwind.

Distorted self-image

Oh boy. Jack has this physically and mentally. Mentally in the sense that he thinks he’s a good person when he actions are abhorrent and also because he’s massively insecure. BPD often comes with a lack of identity, which causes insecurity to begin with. Throw that in a pot alongside some childhood abuse, betrayal, work place bullying, and grief, and you got yourself a big pot of insecurity soup. Put plainly, Jack doesn’t really know who he is at his baseline. His personality and interests and ideas and needs all change on an hourly basis. He morphs to suit his circumstances. He can be open, honest and down to earth when he’s trying to trick Rhys. He can be full of worry and desperation when he needs you to head to grandma’s house. He can be cunning and clever when he’s tricking you into killing Wilhelm. He can be fatherly, he can be nasty, he can be torturous, he can be laid back, he can be clever, he can be ignorant, he can be sheepish, he can be cocky. He’s everyone and no one all at once and this probably leaves him feeling very hollow and empty; which is another symptom of BPD. In the physical sense, Jack issues with self image are pretty clear. He wears a face over his face to hide his face. Yup. And he does this because he thinks he’s disgracefully ugly. This scar he’s so vehemently protective of is something that defines his whole persona going forward. He literally claims himself as Handsome Jack, forcing people to adhere to the idea that he’s so attractive that it should be his title. Even though he doesn’t feel that way and does everything he can to hide the real him. He thinks he’s hideous and he struggles between loving himself and hating himself because of it.

Fear of abandonment

Aaaand here we are at the crux of the problem. BPD boils down to the intense fear of abandonment and this is probably what guides Jack for most of his life. His father died, his mother literally abandoned him, his grandmother neglected him, his first wife died, second wife left, girlfriend and friends betrayed him, and daughter killed herself to get away from him. Abandonment is practically coded into Jack’s DNA at this point and every time it happens, it confirms his fears more. He clings to Moxxi after she betrays him - taking her ideas to try and rile her up and even going as far as to recreate her entire bar in his casino because he wants to keep her presence around. He fights tooth and claw against Angel’s rebellion, begging both her and you to stop what you’re doing and leave. The only time he begs you is when he’s facing perceived abandonment, that’s how strong the fear is. His final words to Angel are “I’ll still forgive you.” Jack isn’t a forgiving man by any stretch, but he’ll say anything he has to in order to prevent her from leaving him. He’ll stalk people, he’ll manipulate them, he’ll lie to them or keep them physically locked up - all to prevent them from abandoning him. The worst possible thing that could happen to Jack is that, and we see the spiral he slips into after Angel. After Moxxi. After the Meriff. After his wife. He can’t bare the thought of someone leaving him and he’ll do anything and everything to prevent his fears becoming a reality.

So yeah! There it is, I finally got around to posting it lol. There’s probably a lot more little details that I’ve forgotten, but I cannot think of them right now. I’ll probably update if I think of any more! The tl;dr is that almost all of Jack’s behaviour can be linked to massively untreated BPD. He needed meds and therapy, but he didn’t get them and he spiralled as a result.

[sporesgalaxy]

Oh! well, my personal worldbuilding for fairies didnt start out with any in-universe justification for their existence. They were just another kind of intelligent magical creature that liked being elusive. Equestria is full of mythological creatures that just seem to exist in small numbers for the sake of it.

The comics are cool, but I tend to ignore them because 1) they're not entirely canon, I think and 2) I haven't read them and don't really want to, so the nuances of whatever worldbuilding they added are lost on me.

So definitely don't feel obligated to have a Justification for being a mythical creature. But if it just sounds fun to you, I'll talk about why I made the choices I did for Fairy Lore below the cut.

•••

I only ended up giving fairies so much backstory because I became interested in anchoring them in the themes of mlp, because I have ALWAYS enjoyed picking apart the philosophy presented in My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, because I'm deranged.

I have most of ALL always been interested in exploring the presence and role of Fate Magic in the mlp universe. There are prophecies canonically, and every pony (and ONLY PONIES) get a cutie mark that defines the rest of their life, usually in childhood. That's insane! Can this fate be changed? Misinterpreted? Ignored? What might happen if it could be?!

And who better to explore whatever the opposite of the fated pony lifestyle is than famously socially weird creatures blamed for random tiny acts of chaos (tangled hair, getting lost, losing items, etc) since time immemorial: fairies! Yay!

Originally I considered the world to exist only as Chaos Magic and Harmony Magic, which Fairies and Ponies weilded most strongly, respectively. But hey, that's a little fucked up, only PONIES have Cutie Marks. Are they the only Harmony Magic users? That smacks of racial superiority philosophies, absolutely unacceptable! I needed more than I dichotomy. I needed a TRIchotomy. WITH A Z AXIS.

So fate is something you can opt in or out of, and some ancient Pony chose to go all-in, so they're especially bound by fate, but it can be undone. There are also many ways for non-ponies to opt into Fate if they want, it's just not an automatic feature of their society. Fairies AND Winds AND Giants all exist outside of Fate completely.

Everything ELSE with the elements and such just sort of evolved from setting THAT up.

And the whole reason I set that up was not originally because I thought fairies needed to be justified, but because I wanted to fuck around with the themes and philosophies presented in My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic my adding in an antithesis to the Elements of Harmony that was more mechanically equal to them (and the generalized force of Friendship Magic that clearly permeates the Whole World) than just One Discord. And because I wanted to do so without justifying eugenics in-universe.

Normal hobby to have <3 <- (making fun of myself)

So I guess I just kinda....pick apart the themes posed by the show, and then consider what different things I might want to say within that philosophical framework, and then insert whatever is needed in order to say those things. If that makes sense?

do you have any tips on like personal worldbuilding in mlp? I've been kind of going back and forth for years especially for my sona's species and just not gotten anywhere w it

I'm not sure I know exactly what you mean by personal worldbuilding? I'll tell you all the reasoning behind my ponysona and hopefully that helps!

•••

My ponysona is a unicorn (or magic-using fairy, sometimes) because I think that having telekinesis would pair nicely with my particular neruoses. Theres an implication in fim that unicorns feel a societal expectation to be adept at using magic, and I think that lines up nicely with my experience with social pressure as a "gifted kid."

Likewise, earth ponies seem to be expected to take up a craft or trade, and pegasi to be athletic. Obviously this doesnt mean everypony lives up to these expectations, but ponies seem insecure when they dont live up to those expectations (i.e. Trixie, Fluttershy), implying there is some level of communal pressure to live up to them, however well-intentioned or slight.

I gave up on trying to come up with a cutie mark when I was younger, because I didnt feel strongly that I knew what I was meant to do. I think I wouldve been a late bloomer in this regard. The cutie mark I ended up giving myself is extremely vague, because I've realized that my life calling isn't very specific :)

I deeply love learning about organic systems and how they interrelate and effect each other-- biology, yes, but also culture and sociology! So my cutie mark is an organic shape in an organic green color (maybe a bacteria, or a flower?) with a spiral in the center that builds itself into a bumpy shape :) AND I like ART so it ALSO represents a cute little scribbly-- I make art for the sake of it, not because I have a specific subject matter I love! And I love making art because there is always something new to learn and I'm always building off of my experiences.....so spiral!!!!!!! yuippee!!!!!!

Obviously this is a ridiculously overthought cutie mark, which is perfect for me but dont feel obligated to make it this complicated XD

final rule HAVE FUN AND BE URSELF u can always change it later :)

[miss-americanbi]

There’s a certain grace surrounding my grandmother’s house that’s hard to define. Never once has it known a stranger, down there on its quaint, country road. The dogwoods and beech trees create an inviting canopy of shade where all are welcome, all are invited to stay for dinner, all are gifted great company, a good story or two, and a piece of pie for the journey home. It backs up to the horse runs, and every morning without fail, four curious ponies come begging for apple cores and peppermints. Though the inside may be dated by today’s standards, it’s halls ring with laughter, the air fresh with the smell of summer.

Growing up, I dreamed of owning that house one day. Sure, it may not be close to any big cities or be in a town anyone could consider a tourist destination, but I didn’t care. Preserving that house after my grandparents left this earth was worth it. But as I got older and began to find myself—coming out as queer in the process—that dream became more and more unobtainable. Because that house, the place of my childhood summers, is in a state where gay marriage was not legalized until Obergefell v. Hodges back in 2015.

Due to the recent bout of conservative judicial restraint by the Supreme Court, cases allowing same-sex marriage, interracial marriage, and consensual sodomy are in danger. Decades-long precedents are being overturned and because so many of the aforementioned rights have not been codified into federal law, millions of Americans—especially in the South—are in danger of losing their rights, myself included.

If Obergefell is overturned, my grandmother’s house would stay empty. I would not be able to share a place so full of peace and light with a partner of the same sex. It wouldn’t matter if we wanted to give back to the community, it wouldn’t matter if we wanted to live a slow and quiet life, it wouldn’t matter if we were in love. We would be criminals, illegal, seen as less than when just a few years prior, what was in our pants didn’t void a loving relationship. As much as I’ve dreamed of making my home in that house, I couldn’t put a partner of mine through that.

So here I sit in my grandmother’s backyard, typing this out in the shade of those beeches and dogwoods, watching my favorite palomino horse graze lazily in the golden, evening light. I would be lying if I said my heart wasn’t breaking a little. Of course, the South is where I was born, where I was raised, and I’m not letting go without a fierce fight. But until our right to love as human beings is codified and protected, my hope to one day own my grandmother’s house will remain just that, a dream in the back of my mind.