#that my mom got me at the airport on a business trip when i was like 5 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

madamechrissy · 6 months ago

Text

Up in The Air

♡ ♡ Pairings ♡ ♡ Suguru Geto x Fem Reader

♡ ♡ Warnings ♡ ♡ MDNI- Cunnilingus and fingering, and a lot of Suguru eating reader out bc... it's headcanon Sugu loves to eat it lol.

♡ ♡ Word Count ♡ ♡ 7,657

♡ ♡ Summary ♡ ♡ You have been jilted at the altar by your groom, Mahito, who has led you on for years. Your best friends, Maki and Yuta, suggest to go on this Honeymoon alone, to get away and find yourself again. On the plane ride, you run into a gorgeous man on a business trip, who holds your hand when you say that you're terrified of planes, Suguru Geto. You all fall into easy conversation, and there's chemistry, he makes you feel better than you had in a long time. You think to ask his number, when he realizes that his room has fallen through. Well, you have a big honeymoon suite, and you suggest he stays with you. What can go wrong?

Chapter 2 - Masterlist- Playlist

Chapter 3

You stretch, waking up with the most beautiful view, sunlight streaming in, you sit up and see the ocean outside, the bright sun, the breeze swaying the trees. It is absolutely stunning… and you’re here… With Suguru Geto, at the thought of that alone you hop up, checking your reflection in the mirror, adjusting your top.

You smooth out your hair, brushing your teeth and washing your face in the bathroom mirror, and your eyes… they’re glittering. There’s life in them, life you had not seen in so long. You feel better, you feel so hopeful, and it’s such a new and foreign feeling that it’s hard to take.

You peek out, and don’t see him, your heart falters a moment, but all his things are there, so you breathe easy. Your fear of abandonment is hard to handle. You go and find your phone, checking on texts from Maki and your mom, updating them and snapping pictures. You tell Maki about Suguru, she demands a picture, you muse on how you’ll do that later…

There’s a message from him.

Your stomach flip flops.

Suguru: Headed to do work things… wish I could just lounge by the beach. You totally should. Dinner at 7?

You squeal, you fucking squeal. Are you fifteen again?

You: That sounds perfect! Where should we go?

…

He’s typing!

“Fuck…”

You nibble your lower lip.

Suguru: There's this little restaurant by the marina that is supposed to have the best seafood. Do you like seafood?

You: I am down for that! Yummy!

Suguru: You are.

You’re flushing, sitting down for this, so nervous… was he flirting with you? Fuck, what even was this? Someone desiring you, someone complimenting you, and he happens to be gorgeous. And his fingers…

Welp.

Your own tremble as you type.

You: You don’t know if I am yet.

Did you just say that? You nibble on your nail nervously, watching the three dots wiggling, freaking out. You take a shaky breath, wondering if that was too far, if it was too suggestive, if…

Suguru: I have a feeling you are. Taste yourself and tell me. If you remember those lessons.

You fall backwards on the couch, covering your face, you’re dying. “Fuck, I need advice.” You call Maki. “Maki, I need you!”

“Oh my god, tell me!”

“Okay… you alone?”

“Just with Yuta. What’s up?”

“Oh god, he can’t hear this, take me off speaker!”

“Okay let me walk out… alright, what is it?”

“Maki… okay… this guy is the dude you said was hot at the airport.”

“What!”

“Yes and… okay… he got me off.” Maki is squealing now too, you laugh, breathlessly. “Nothing went too far. He just touched me…”

“Oh my god. I’m so happy for you! Just marry him?”

“Maki it’s been two days, chill. Okay, so, he wrote me this.” You screenshot the message, and Maki gasps.

“Ooh, he’s fucking sexy too. Bitch! Okay, snap him a pic of your-”

“Maki, no!”

“Trust me.”

“I can’t!”

“Oh gosh… then, finger yourself and taste yourself? We are really being super close right now, you know.”

“No kidding.” You’re shaking nervously, thighs pressing together. “Okay, just tell him I taste… good? The fuck.”

“Yep, if you won’t do the pic. Hmm, wear a cute bikini and take a sexy pic!”

“I don’t know how!”

“Oh gosh. Video chat.” You get on with her now, flushed as can be, Maki is grinning. “You look like you got off.”

“Oh god.” You cover your mouth, laughing, but then you ease your hand down, his words getting you. “Maki, I really like him, and this is stupid fast.”

“Just roll with it. Okay, put me down somewhere.” You do so. “Now, get on your knees. Perfect, arch those tits out. Now, pick me up, hold me up high. Not that high, yep there. Push em together. That’s the shot!”

“How do you know all this?” You ask, giggling again.

“Don’t ask.” She rolls her eyes with a smirk. “Get to it, girl scout.”

“Wait, what do I say with it?”

“Say… that you wanna know if it’s cute.”

“Okay, bet. I love you!”

“Love you too. Kisses!” She ends the call, and you nervously run to get on a bathing suit, finding the pretty pink one she had packed for you. You slide it on, and get another text.

Suguru: Fuck, was that too forward?

Shit!

You go take a bunch of photos, sliding through each one, you end up sending three you like to Maki, asking her to pick. She sends back her favorite, and you flush at how your breasts are on full display. You take several breaths, before sending it to him then.

You: I was getting in my bikini, oh my gosh no, not too forward. I totally kissed you on a plane? So I think there’s no such thing.

You: What do you think? Is it cute?

Suguru: Fuck.

You’re giggling now, and then you go to the bed, sitting nervously, leaning back and cautiously running a hand down your tummy, into the waistband of the bikini bottoms, finding your clit, pressing up. You gasp at it, at something that used to feel so wrong, but now, with Suguru’s help it felt good. So good. Not as good as his fingers, of course, but…

You nervously taste yourself, and it’s sweet and tangy, you are surprised by it, and feel yourself heat up, imagining him tasting you. Now you’re stupidly wet again, something that has been going on since you met him. You struggle to compose yourself, picking back up the phone.

Suguru: You look so good.

You smile.

You: Thank you!! Okay… um, I taste good.

“Fuck… I just did that?” You cover your face, sinking back into the pillows, your cunt is slick, aching, just from the thought of him. You’re having fun, for the first time in so long.

The phone blings, and you eagerly pick it up, rolling on your tummy and nibbling on your nail, swiping it open to read it.

Suguru: I am now hard in a meeting with a bunch of dudes. This is awkward.

You snort in laughter.

You: That’s your own fault! You wouldn’t let me take care of that.

Suguru: I’ll be fine. Okay, I’ll see you tonight… and maybe I will find out if you’re telling the truth.

You: Maybe you will. Okay see you soon!

Your entire body is overheated at this point, the cool water sounds more and more inviting. You throw on a cover up and some shades, grab your sunblock and your things, and go to nibble on something downstairs. You notice some men there are looking at you, some have flirted, and it’s flattering maybe, that you’re getting noticed, but you already have no eyes for anyone.

You may be foolish, but you are too eager to see Suguru again than anything, and even if it led to nothing, for the moment he would be all you would focus on. You were a one person girl, even if the last person was total trash, it did not change that for you.

The sand is warm beneath your feet as you stroll along the shore, your pretty room visible as you turn back to see. The waves are crashing rhythmically against the shore, the prettiest bright blue waters, warm against your feet. You find a quiet spot under a palm tree, spread out your towel, and begin to slather on the sunblock, turning on your little bluetooth speaker.

You pop on music, then lay back, letting the sun bathe your skin, it feels so nice and warm, so comfortable. The salty air carries the scent of the ocean, you inhale it, feeling so peaceful, hearing the sounds of the waves and the birds mixing with your favorite music. You had forgotten what it felt like to be so relaxed, to feel so excited about something.

The day drags on leisurely, and soon you head back, and peek in the mirror, you have a pretty glow from the sun, just a little red on your cheeks and nose. You have about an hour or so to get ready for your date with Suguru. You’re nervous, but the excitement is bubbling in your stomach, so you shower, then blow dry your hair, and start to put on makeup.

After getting dolled up, in your towel still, you go over to the dresser, heart fluttering as you peer through all the lingerie. Fuck. Which one?

He mentioned the white one, so you start putting it on, the white lace so delicate and pretty, and it reveals everything, the color of your nipples, the apex of your thighs, hugging your curves. There are little straps along your breasts, pushing them up, and garters attached. You have never seen yourself look so hot.

You decide to slide on a pretty, thin white dress, perfect for the weather, it gave Marilyn vibes, a halter, cinched in skirt, accentuating everything, and there is a hint of that lacy lingerie. You eagerly peek at the time, it’s a little before seven, and you hear him walk in now, closing the door behind him quietly.

Shit.

“Hey!” You come out of the room to greet him, nervously fidgeting with your hands in front of you, his lips part, his chocolate eyes sliding down your body, caressing it as if it were his very hands. Goosebumps rise everywhere they touch.

“You look amazing.” He says softly, walking to you, holding out his hands. You take them and he makes you spin, whistling, you giggle. “Just gorgeous.”

“You’re too sweet to me. Thank you, Suguru.” You look down shyly, he tilts your chin up, you are breathless, the look on his face so entranced, mirroring your own.

“Let me get ready real quick? I already got reservations.” You nod, smiling, you can’t stop yourself from smiling actually, even if you try to come down to Earth, it’s not working well.

“Perfect! Go right ahead.” He dips into the room, then the bathroom, and you take a selfie for Maki, who replies back with a bunch of heart eye emojis.

After a few minutes, he comes out, dressed more casually than his three piece suit, he had a short sleeve button down, light blue, that revealed much of the corded muscles of his arms. He wore slacks that hung looser over his hips, and your eyes swallowed him in, until they got back up to his face, his hair was fully up, in some little knot, but some fell over his forehead.

“I’d like to see your hair down.” You tease, coming up to him and brushing his hair back. He smirks.

“So bold!”

“I am, huh?”

“I…” He clears his throat, a little pink on his cheeks. “I really liked that picture, I wish I was just on the beach with you.”

You’re blushing too. “That would have been lovely! Does this scare you, Suguru, how easy this feels?” You murmur, holding his hand. His tenses, and you meet his gaze, seeing his jaw clench a bit.

“Yeah. It’s scary as fuck. I’m trying not to look into it too much but, it’s pretty comfortable with you.” He exhales, picking your hand up, kissing it.

“Should I just enjoy it, not look too much into this either?” You ask softly, and he tilts his head a bit.

“You should feel whatever you feel. Don’t hold back just to not scare me away or something. I’m not easily frightened, mind you. If you knew my friends you would understand.” He smirks.

“Maybe I’ll meet them? Fuck, that’s stupid.” You ease back, turning, but he snatches your wrist, coming up behind you. Your pulse races.

“You never know. You might.” His voice is husky.

“You know how to make me feel better.” You smile sadly back at him, as his hard chest is pressed against your back, warmth emanating from him.

“You worry too much.” He kisses the side of your head, at your temple, your eyelashes flutter close in bliss.

“I really do. Sorry-”

“I wonder if I spanked you every time you say that if you’ll stop.”

Fuck you’re wet again.

“Or… if you’d do it to get spanked.” He snorts a bit in laughter, and you glare back at him now.

“You’re cheeky.” You poke at him, turning, he grins.

“A bit. Come on, we can actually just walk there, it’s across the beach just a bit.” You nod, sliding on some glittery sandals, snatching up your purse. “Oh and I’m buying remember?”

“I do! Buying me drinks too?” You wink at him, he grins, and you all step out, arm in arm, walking to the elevator.

“Of course, I’m a gentleman after all.” You’re alone in the elevator now, your mind goes awry, looking down at where your arms were joined up, your hand in the crook of his elbow. “You got color today.”

“I know, I got a little burnt on the face.” He gently touches your nose.

“Should have put aloe on it before we left. It’s cute though.”

“It is? The Rudolph look?”

He shakes his head, rolling his eyes. “You do not look like rudolph. But, you know, he’s cute so.”

“Well thank you.” The elevator dings, and you two walk out the doors, until you’re down on the sand, heading towards the boardwalk.

You walk side-by-side down the boardwalk now, taking in all the sights of the evening as the sun has set. There are stands everywhere, of jewelry, food, paintings, you name it. As you approach the marina, the sweet smell of seafood fills the air, making your stomach grumble.

He laughs at you.

“My tummy tells on itself.”

“Well perfect timing.”

The little restaurant is nestled amongst the colorful wooden boats, all lit up, as a hostess takes you all to your table. There are twinkling lights hanging from the thatch roof above, giving it the perfect beachy vibe. It’s so cozy, with a live band playing local music, everything is wide open and breezy.

Your table is overlooking the marina and the ocean beyond, so peaceful as the evening begins, casting a pretty purple and orange glow across the water. You look at Suguru across from you, sitting your chin in your hand, studying him as he speaks to the waitress, who was fawning over him.

Well, you were too.

The wind is flowing, blowing those little bangs of his, and you imagine him with his hair down, he’d look like some romance cover. Your own hair is in a loose bun with wispy tendrils, that flow, and his eyes seem to watch you then, his lips are moving, was he talking?

Shit.

“What do you want to drink, Princess?” He asks softly, and the waitress swoons, holding her chest.

“Oh, you’re so lucky!” She tells you. “To have such a man.”

You blush furiously, he just grins, wiggling his brows. “He’s not my man… yet…” He raises his brows now. “But I am lucky, this is totally kind of a date?”

“Totally kind of.” He agrees, his broad shoulders shaking with humor.

“Ah, new love. And he’s so handsome.” She fans herself, her accent is thick, and you nod.

“He is.” You agree, winking at him.

“But, you are so pretty too!” You smile at that.

“Yes, she is.” Suguru agrees, leaning forward, his fingers together, that charming smile and his sexy eyes glowing in the soft lights.

“Thank you.” You murmur, and then peek at the menu. “Can you recommend a good drink?” You ask her.

“Absolutely.” She points out some tropical looking drink with a weird name. You shrug.

“Sounds good.” Suguru orders his drink, he is simple and gets a beer, as they bring the drinks soon you laugh at how wild yours looks, all different colors and a big umbrella and fruit on the top. “Okay, that looks good.”

“Let’s try it together!” You scooch it in the middle of the table, and pop two straws in the glass, leaning forward, his amused eyes narrow as they stare at your lips hovering above the drink.

“All right.” He stands up, hands on either side of the table, and you both sip the frozen drink at the same time. You pause as you two just stand there, hunched over, lips on your straws. He licks his lower lip, so full, now glossy and tempting you, and your tummy clenches in desire from the smallest act.

You were simping bad already, shit.

You clear your throat, licking your lips, and his eyes dart back down there, you wonder wildly if he thinks the same. The part of you that is damaged from Mahito and insecure screams that he couldn’t really, that he just feels sorry for you so he is nice, but this other part? The part that used to be you, the part that Geto brings out? It thinks that you’re pretty hot.

It’s fucking nice, to feel sexy, desired, by someone you would kiss right across this table. In fact, you are both staring at each other, paused, as if you both were in some sort of trance. You reach down to sip again, laying your elbows on the table, your breasts are pressed up, and you enjoy his quick look, lingering just a second.

“Are you teasing me?” He asks softly, tugging on one of your strands of hair that has come loose, sipping some again. You cover your face, nodding.

“I don’t know what I’m doing though.” You admit, sitting back, he sits back as well, legs wide you notice, an arm back over the back of the empty chair next to him.

“You’re doing a pretty good job of it.” You look at the seat, then get up your courage and hop up, sitting next to him. He grins. “A very good job.”

“It feels so formal across from each other, doesn’t it? This reminds me more of the airplane.” He brushes the backs of his fingers along your cheek, and you feel yourself aching for more.

“It does, hmm? Not just an excuse to be closer?” He’s teasing you now, and it works, you’re all red.

“I won’t say either way.” You pick up the menu, and you both start choosing different food, crab legs and shrimp, and all sorts of things. You fall into a comfortable conversation, it was always so easy with him, since you’d met, this whirlwind of meeting someone you could be yourself with.

It seemed quick when the food started coming out, but time just passed quickly around him. The moonlight was already rising along the sky, reflecting in the water, and it got a little chilly with the wind, making you shiver. His arm wrapped around your shoulders, big hand rubbing your upper arm, pulling you a little closer, scooching your chairs together.

You smile up at him, and when his eyes catch yours, your breath catches in your throat. “Thank you, Suguru.” You murmur. He just smiles, and you drink in the sight of him next to you, probably embarrassingly so.

“Of course. I should have brought a jacket with me.” His hand runs up your shoulder, then his eyes drop to your chest, where the lines of the lingerie below were just barely peeking out.

“It’s a beach, of course you wouldn’t think you’d need a jacket, silly. It’s just the breeze.” He hums, thumb playing with the strap on your shoulder now, sending desire through you, hot and heavy. Your hand gently goes to his thigh, and you feel the tense hard muscle underneath.

“Is this…” He breaks off as the waitress comes back, and you tense, but he does not take off his arm, as Mahito would. Mahito had not shown public affection towards you, deeming it embarrassing.

“Dessert?” She asks, and Suguru looks at you then, his hand still firm on your shoulder, reassuring you.

“Would you like any, love?” He purrs those words, they send a shiver through your body. You shake your head.

“I’m so full. But thank you!” You smile to the waitress, and she goes off to get cases for your food and the check. You turn back to look at Suguru then, his gaze is back to the straps of the lingerie.

“Everything okay?” He asks softly, you nod, scooching a little closer, he pulls you against him, so warm, you sink into his embrace.

“You’re not embarrassed of me?” You curse inwardly as the words slip out, as Suguru tenses, glaring down at you with those narrowed eyes now.

“What stupid question is that? Why would I be. Why would I ask you to come out with me?”

“I… because you feel obligated? Or sorry.” You feel tears prick the back of your eyes, blinking them back, and his grip grows tight on you.

“No to both.” He says through gritted teeth, and you immediately feel you have fucked something up. “Is this another thing that happened?”

“I don’t want to keep annoying you with those things. Please, forget I said anything, I don’t want to ruin the night.” You put your hand on his chest, looking at him pleadingly, he exhales, grip on you tight.

“You won’t ruin anything. It’s just a little ridiculous at this point, you’re sitting here looking fucking beautiful, breathtaking…” Your cheeks heat up, your tummy flipping as he studies you so intently. “And you think I’d be embarrassed?”

“It was just what I am used to.”

“I’m not him.”

“Not even close. You’re a man.” You murmur, and his jaw eases just a bit, grip easing as well, sighing. “I don’t think you’re anything like him. Just stupid thoughts, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry that you think that way.” He eases away, and you feel the tears burning again, so worried that you’re so damaged you’re fucking up the one good thing you’ve ever really had happen. You look away, clearing your throat.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom, be right back.”

You ignore him when he says your name, softly, and once you’re in the little bathroom you lock yourself in the stall, feeling the tears start to flow. You curse, yanking toilet paper down, struggling not to fuck up your carefully done makeup.

“Stupid, stupid.” You curse yourself, sighing tremulously, leaning your head into your hands. You’re fucking this up. But how could you just get over everything that’s happened to you?

You stay a few moments, going to the mirror, popping on some concealer to cover where your mascara had smudged from your tears. Suguru had called you beautiful. Breathtaking. And the way he looked to you, you felt that way, you just had to trust this, you had to move on.

Setting your shoulders straight, you walk back out, and Suguru is not at the table anymore, your heart falters a bit when you see him up towards the front, with numerous women gathered around him. You can’t feel anything about it, you barely knew him, and he wasn’t yours, but there was a little odd feeling there, as you see the beautiful women that giggled around him.

You stood there, before slowly walking up, and the women parted. Suguru smiled to you, holding his hand out, and it meant so much to you then, him acknowledging you, looking at you, smiling. You smile, placing your little hand in his own, comfortingly swallowing yours.

“Shall we head out?” You nod. “Perfect, thanks so much for dinner.” He says to the staff, and they all swooned and fawned over him as you all walked out, hand in hand, stepping fully out into the breeze, he looks at you then.

You turn your head, looking up at him, Suguru gently lifts your chin up, wrapping an arm around your waist. You feel yourself heat up at the contact, at feeling his hard, warm body against yours. You shyly look down a bit.

“Look at me.” He orders, silkenly, and you’d do anything he asked, anything he said, if it was like that. You do as he says, eyes meeting his now, your lips parting just a bit. “I’m not upset with you. Promise.”

“You’re not?” Your voice broke just a bit. He sighs, bending down lower, noses nearly touching.

“Not one bit. I just got mad someone made you feel that way. Fuck, I’d be mad that anyone feels this way. But never mad at you.” You exhale, gratefully, nodding and blinking back the stupid emotion.

“I’m so glad. I am having so much fun and I don’t want to ruin it.” He smiles, a little half turn of his lips, thumb tracing your jawline.

“No way, you’ve made everything better.”

“Me?” He nods. “You made everything better.” Your hands go up to his chest, feeling his hard muscles, his steady heartbeat on your palms.

“By what, being here with a beautiful girl? In her fancy fucking suite? While she wears lingerie that’s driving me insane thinking about?” You’re bright red now, and he laughs softly at you.

“I’ve never had so much fun. Please, stay the rest of the time? Even if a room opens up?”

“Of course. I’m having fun too.” He presses a little kiss on your lips, and you wonder if these things only mean so much to you, but for now you shove that thought down, and enjoy his full lips on yours. You moan softly, and he inhales, sharply, easing back.

“Earlier, those texts… they really got me excited. And nervous?” You giggle thinking about it, he grins, easing away now, and you all start to walk. “I’ve never felt like that.”

“You give me too much credit, thanking me for having dinner with you, thanking me for staying, now you’re thanking me for sending horny texts?” You giggle into your hand, then think better, grinning up at him, he pauses on the boardwalk, smiling. “You’re listening huh?”

“You’re a good teacher, you know.” You tease, tapping his lips with your fingertip, he nips it, and your thighs clench together, heat pooling between them. “I think I need more lessons.”

“Oh do you?” His voice is husky, eyes going hooded, you can’t believe you have been so bold.

“Yes, I think I could use one tonight. If you don't need to go to sleep super early? I don’t want to interfere with anything.” You look away, but he stops you.

“Ah-ah.” You peek back up. “I’ll do another lesson, as long as you allow me to see this. It’s been driving me crazy all night.” He murmurs, sliding his fingers under the straps. You nip your lower lip, drawing his eyes to it, you’re growing wet under the lacy panties of the lingerie.

“It has?” He rolls his eyes, sighing, snatching up your hand, continuing your walk back to the resort.

“Yeah.” Was all he said, quietly, and you watch a faint color on his cheeks, making you flush more. “Very much. Is that why you wore it?”

You look down, giggling. “Maybe.”

“Maybe, hmm?” You grin up at him, and he grins back at you, soon you all are back up to the room, you’re taking off your shoes, and he is as well. “I am going to take a shower real quick? Is that fine?”

“Of course! I’ll just get you some towels, hang on.” You murmur, he pauses you then, a hand on your wrist as you are grabbing him towels. “Hmm?”

“Why don’t you…” He trails a hand gently down your straps again, straps he had been teasing all night, backs of his fingers trailing against your sensitive skin, making your pulse race, desire hitting hard. “Get more comfortable?”

You feel everything spinning then, at the deep voice, the suggestion, the look in his pretty eyes. You nervously run a hand along his where it met your skin, rubbing little circles along the back of his hands. “I can do that.”

“Perfect.” He gently kisses your forehead, something you like far, far too much, and heads into the bathroom.

You freak the fuck out.

You text Maki, asking for advice, and then you nervously peek in the mirror as you wait, looking in the mirror, your entire face is pink, a mix of sunburn and being flustered. You nervously take off your dress, revealing the pretty lacy number, snapping a pic and sending it to Maki.

Maki: Bitch you look perfect!

You: Thank you but how do I get… comfortable?

Maki: Get a drink and lounge on the couch, all sexy and shit, I totally believe in you!

You take a breath, doing as she suggested, walking over to the stocked mini bar, deciding to get some wine and pour two glasses. You didn’t know if Geto drank wine, but you wanted to have him something too. You go sit nervously on the couch, positioning your body this way and that, over analyzing everything, trying to look casual, to look sexy…

It ended up being you just leaning against the side of the arm of the couch, legs crossed, and you had thrown on the little sheer mesh cover that hung on your shoulders loosely, not covering anything but it looked so elegant. You hear the water shut off, and busy yourself looking at the phone, trying to control your heated breathing.

This was wild right?

Fuck it.

When Geto steps out, shirtless, your throat goes dry, your heart fucking hammering at the sight of him. It’s not something you could get used to, how perfect he looks, and as your eyes slide up, you see his hair is loose, and soft, fucking shiny and gorgeous. It’s softly falling around his face, making him look even more attractive, and his full lips are parted, staring at you.

You watch his eyes glide up and down your body, your legs, your breasts, until they get to your face finally, and he exhales. You are just sitting there nervously, palms sweaty, you bend over to grab his drink, standing and handing it to him, your fingers brush as you both pause.

“I didn’t know if you like wine?” You ask nervously, he clears his throat then, sitting both of your glasses down, and you frown. “There’s plenty of other drinks, or we could just have water?”

He cups your face gently, bending low, your breaths are mingling, his tasting like mint. “You look fucking…” He trails off, hands trailing down the lace of your lingerie, along your curves. “Yummy.”

You giggle. “Yummy hmm?”

He grins, stepping back and looking down your body. “That fucking describes you perfectly right now.”

You bravely kiss him, on your tip toes, eliciting a moan from him. “Do I taste yummy too?” You whisper, he moans then, and before you know it he’s snatched you up in his arms, you squeak in surprise, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Fuck, you’re super strong.”

“You don’t weigh much. But I do work out.” He teases, and you’ve never been grabbed like this, felt so excited and… safe.

“I see this.” You tease, kissing him again, he is grabbing your ass, moaning, as you wrap your thighs around him, and he’s just carrying you? Like it’s nothing. Until you feel your bed against your back.

“Even prettier on your back.” He whispers, you’re soaking wet now, arching your hips up and whining as he watches you.

“Mmm… Geto…”

“Suguru. Call me Suguru.” He whispers, and you bite your lip, he eases your teeth off it. “You bite it too much.”

“I do, hmm? Well… Suguru, bite it for me.” You whisper, he exhales, gently caressing your face, kissing your lower lip, running his tongue along it, before sucking it into his mouth and nipping it. “Mmnh!”

“Yummy.” He whispers, you moan as he runs his hands down your body, easing off the little mesh top, sliding it off you. His hand grazes the sides of your breasts, thumbs brushing your nipples through the lace. “I won’t go any further than you want to. I promise. You’re safe with me, okay?”

You feel emotion catch in your throat, and you nod, blinking rapidly, holding his strong shoulders in your hands. “I already knew that. I have a feeling you won’t go as far as I want.” You whisper with a smirk, and he laughs a bit, nodding.

“You’re probably right. But I want you to want this.”

“I do, I want this so fucking bad. Like anything you want to give me, or do, I want. Should I show you how much?” You raise a brow, and he nods, you take his hand then, sliding it to where you’re soaked, and he moans as he feels you over your lacy panties, you gasp as his finger grazes your clit over the material.

“Do you just stay drenched?” He murmurs, one hand grabbing your hair, the other stroking your clit, sticky through the fabric.

“This is a new development.” You admit, and he’s kissing you then, drinking in your cries as he tortures you over your fabric, leaving you wanting more, more.

“Hmm… before our next lesson, I should know if you paid attention to the first one.” He pulls back with a teasing grin. You cry out at the loss of contact.

“I did! Kinda.”

“Mmm, let’s see then.” Your mouth is wide open, and he has the biggest grin on his handsome face, picking you up and scooching you further on the bed. You gasp, and he takes your hand, kissing it, then sliding it in your panties. You gasp as your own finger finds your clit.

“Mnh!” You whine, and he eases back a bit, eyes full of desire, hands rubbing up and down your thighs, hooking in your panties.

“May I?” He asks, and you nod, trembling as he bares you to him, and his breath catches when he sees your pussy, slick and shimmering with desire for him, thighs wide open so he could see it all. “Fuck.”

You’re shaking, and feel your chest heaving as he sees you fully, it was something that had not really happened before. You grow nervous, trying to shut your legs a bit, but he spreads them, shaking his head, soft long black hair falling and flowing with the motion.

“Is it okay? I-”

“You’re perfect.” He murmurs, eyes flicking back up to yours, desire heavy in them, reflecting your own. “Fucking perfect little pussy.”

“Yeah?” He laughs a bit at you.

“Yes. You’re… perfect is the only word I can think. And it’s hard to think at the moment.” He takes your hand again, guiding your finger back to your clit, and you rub it, gasping at how good it feels. “You’re fucking beautiful.”

You feel beautiful.

“Th-thank you, Suguru.” You manage, head arching back, hips raising under his gaze, stuck on your cunt like a fucking hawk, flickering his eyes up your body to your face, then back down, his strong hands gripping your thighs.

“That’s it, you have this part down. Now what about sliding a finger in?” He suggests, fucking sexy voice of his like velvet, and you nervously do so, crying out when you slide your own finger in your slippery wet entrance. “Fuck…”

“It’s not as good as yours.” You whine, and he takes your fingers then, bringing them to his mouth, sucking them off, eyes closed, moaning. You gasp, and when his eyes open again, they’re fucking ravenous.

“You taste so good.” He murmurs, then he slides his finger up and down your slit, making you tense in desire, throbbing around him, he slides that finger out and into your mouth. You moan, licking yourself off, then he’s on you, kissing you, his weight pressed on top of your overheated body.

“Mmm! Suguru!” You cry out when he kisses down your throat, to your breasts, and he slides them out of the cups of the lingerie.

“You’re beautiful everywhere.” He whispers, eyes locking on yours when he lavishes a nipple with his tongue, you tense everywhere, the pleasure so good you can’t stand it. “Pretty, perfect breasts.”

“Fuck.” You manage, and he’s kissing lower, your tummy, and you grow even wetter if that’s possible, pulsing around nothing, his silky hair is tickling you, you gently grab it.

“I want to taste you fully.” He whispers, breath against the hood of your clit, you moan at it, hips raising up towards him. He spreads your thighs, and his gaze, seductive as fuck, meets yours. “Do you want me to, Princess, to taste you?”

“Oh please, yes. Please.” You’re begging and you don’t fucking care, he smiles, kissing the hood of your clit, teasing you, then he slides his tongue up your slit, tasting you, and it feels so fucking good you nearly scream. “Fuck! Fuck.”

“You taste so sweet.” He whispers, flicking his tongue up again, spreading your lips apart further, sliding his tongue in your entrance, you do scream now.

“Suguru! So good. So good.” You cry out, tears sliding from your eyes as pressure builds quick, like before, but so much more intense. Your hands grab his hair, pulling him to you, and he moans, vibrating your puffy little clit, and you’re panting, feeling every nerve ending on fire.

“So close already, Princess?” He murmurs, peeking up at you, a mischievous smirk on his face, which is glistening with your desire. You giggle, breathlessly, nodding to him.

“It feels too good.” You murmur, and he grins, kissing your clit again.

“I’m just getting started, love.” You’re surprised at this, but then he’s tilting his head, and holding the hood of your clit up, flicking his tongue on the sensitive bundle of nerves, faster and faster, and you cum hard, so hard, blinding you, gripping the sheets below you, as it rocks you like nothing you’ve know.

“Suguru!” You scream out his name, panting.

“Cum as many times on my face as you want.” He whispers, fingering you then, and you’re rocking your hips against his face, wanton.

“It’s okay?” You whisper. “It’s messy.”

He laughs at you, hot against your aching, oversensitive cunt, thrusting his finger up to that spot that makes you see stars. “I’ll drink it all up, don’t worry, Princess.”

Fuck.

He’s back down there again, using his finger in sync with his tongue, and you’re falling apart all over again, as another orgasm washes through you, hot sticky cum pulsing out onto his hands, onto his face. He’s moaning, and the obscene sounds of him literally slurping you up turn you on goddamn more.

“There you go. Good girl.” He whispers, and now his face is fucking soaked, he licks his lips, grinning.

“You’re really fucking good at this.” You whisper, voice hoarse from how hard you just came.

“I enjoy it. Especially with your pretty, yummy little cunt.” His words bring you up again, as when he slides another finger in you, stretching you out. “Can you take these two, love?”

“I can do it.” You nod, wincing a bit, and he laughs a bit at you, sweetly though, watching you as you adjust.

“You’re so stupid fucking tight.” He is knuckles deep, tilting his fingers up, hitting that spongy little spot over and over, and you’re cumming from just that, making his hand slick as he plays you like an instrument. “So beautiful when you cum.”

“Fucking so good. Mmm.” You lose words, you lose sense of self, and he’s going back down there, you’re not sure you can take anymore.

“Cum one more time for me, Princess. Would you?” He asks, and you whine, brushing back his hair.

“So sensitive. Ah!” He flicks his tongue on you again, you throw your head back in ecstasy.

“One more time, I’ll clean it all up with my tongue.”

“You’re too hot.”

He grins, shaking his head, and then dives back down between your thighs, and his tongue is ravenous, fast on your clit, sucking it in his mouth and humming, and you’re cumming so hard you can’t breathe. Everything fades, your ears are even ringing, your head fuzzy, as you feel so much pleasure it goddamn nearly hurts, cumming all over his face and hand.

He is drinking it all up, tongue lavishing every sensitive inch after you come, he eases up, sucking his fingers of, and licking his lips, as if he could not get enough. He’s so fucking attractive, you’re so sensitive, you sit up weakly, pulling him down, kissing him so deep, tasting yourself all over his soft, firm lips. He moans, returning the kiss, then he’s on you again.

You’re falling into each other as you try to piece yourself back together, your body heaving with the effort, legs trembling how hard you’d come, and he’s kissing you so passionately. His cock is hard and eager on your thigh, you run your hand up and down his abdomen, dying to see it, dying to touch it.

“Surugu, that’s the best goddamn thing that’s ever happened.” He chuckles against your lips, holding himself up on his arms, hand cupping your face.

“You are the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen, cumming, your little face…” He rubs your forehead. “Your brows tense.” He touches your nose. “It scrunches up all cute.” Now your lips. “And you bite the fuck out of this, leaving little teeth marks.” Now he rubs your cheeks. “They’re all flushed. And your eyes…”

“You make me feel so…” You gulp, feeling tears run down your eyes now, he softly swipes them away. “So pretty. Thank you, Suguru.”

“I’m just telling you what I see. It’s the truth.” He kisses your forehead, your eyes flutter shut.

“I’m dumb and feel things. And we barely know each other. Is that stupid?” He pauses, and your eyes meet, more serious now as he studies you.

“It’s not stupid to feel things. But, I just wore you out with orgasms.” You flush at that. “So maybe with a clearer mind we can talk about that.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s foggy at the moment. But I do know, you’re absolutely amazing, Suguru Geto. And I’ve never been happier.” You whisper, and watch him tense a bit, looking down at your lips.

“I’m pretty happy at this moment.” He admits, and you exhale, worries shoved back for now of what all this meant. “You didn’t try to reach for my dick hmm?” He is grinning now. You laugh.

“I didn’t know if this was another just my pleasure lesson?” He nods.

“It is. So, good girl.” You moan, and his eyes light up. “You like being called that, don’t you?” You nod, tucking your face into his chest. “I see you’ll be submissive.”

“You think?”

“We’ll find out.” He’s stroking your hair gently, it feels entirely too good.

“I really like you? I’m sorry if that’s weird to say.”

He pauses, it’s quiet for a moment, you tense. “No, that’s not weird at all. I did just have my face buried in your pussy.”

“Oh god!” You both laugh at that, and you look up to him shyly, he’s completely pleased with himself, clearly. “You’re way too good at that.”

“I’m good at a lot of things.” He grinds his cock against you, shocking you, it’s under his shorts but you feel it, huge as fuck and thick, hot and hard. You make a noise from the back of your throat.

“I bet you are.” You whisper, rising your hips up, eliciting a hiss from him. He holds your hips down.

“You tease me.”

“You tease me!” You both sigh, kissing again, and he eases back. “Listen, I’m down for this next lesson whenever.”

“I bet you are. Insatiable little thing.” He sighs, running his hands back down your body, admiring you again.

“Sleep in bed with me?” You flutter your lashes, pouting. He laughs.

“You’re giving me puppy dog eyes!”

“Are they working?”

“Not yet.”

“Well shit.” He shakes his head at you.

“Too hard still.”

“I could-”

“Not just yet.”

“Ugh.” He’s enjoying your torture, smirking down at you, and then he helps you up, on wobbly legs. “Fuck.”

“You okay there?” He winks, and you sigh.

“Fine, totally fine.” You stumble, he laughs as he catches you. “You’re enjoying me being gelatin!”

“Maybe a bit. Let’s get you dressed, you need some help.” You roll your eyes, sighing, and soon he’s exhausted, yawning.

“Need to get up early?” You ask softly, he nods, stretching.

“I’ll be back earlier tomorrow though. We can go to the beach together, if you want to.” He caresses your face gently.

“I would love that.” You cup his face, leaning up. “Thank you so much, that was… well… fucking amazing.”

“You’re very welcome, Princess. I loved it too, so you know.”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck yes. It’s still a whole problem.” He looks down, and you do too, finding him still rock hard, the outline of him making your sore cunt throb. “Don’t look at it so hungry, freaky little virgin.”

“Hey!” You shove at him, and then you end up giggling again, have you ever giggled so much? Ever?

“Good night, Princess.” He gives you a soft kiss, and you linger for a minute, not wanting to ever leave his embrace. “Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams, Suguru.” You head to your own room, turning off all the lights, and you turn on your side in the bed, staring out at the beautiful waves crashing along the shore.

You feel sleep pulling you quick, those orgasms have sapped all the energy you had, and the thoughts of him between your thighs made you so hot you had to shove off the blankets. Suguru was quietly snoring in the next room, and all you can think is how bad you want his arms around you.

Your feelings are scary and confusing.

You’ve got it bad.

But you’ve never felt better.

Chapter 4

Ao3 chapter:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56577688/chapters/144350392

#jjk smut #smut #jjk x reader #geto smut #geto x reader #geto suguru #suguru x reader #jjk suguru #getou suguru x reader #jjk fic #anime and manga #suguru x you #suguru x y/n #suguru x oc #hurt/comfort #geto fluff

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tiedyeflannels · 1 month ago

Text

Did We Forget...

OT7 x f!reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Genre: Angst

A/N: Heyyyy... I'm finally back from the dead! Turns out being busy and having writers block is definitely not a fun combo, but I wanted to finish this since I started it last year on my birthday. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and happy new years!!

Masterlist

“Happy Birthday, Y/n!” Your parents exclaimed.

It probably wasn’t too late over in the States where they were right now, but it was really early in the morning in Korea and they claimed that they needed to call you ‘as soon as possible’.

You sleepily smiled at them, “Thanks, you guys! But… you do know that it’s 5 am over here right? I don’t have to get up until later and now you guys woke me up.”

“Well, why did you pick up then,” your dad teased.

You deadpanned, “Because mom ingrained it in me that I can’t not pick up a call from you guys, or she would have my head.”

Mom shook her head, “I never said that.”

“It’s implied, Mom!” You chuckled when she let out a frustrated huff.

“Anyway, thank you for the birthday wishes! I’m coming home for New Year’s, don’t forget! We can do something then, okay?”

They nodded.

“Yep, we’ve got your room ready and we’ll be picking you up from the airport. All you have to do is let us know where you are,” Mom said.

You hummed in agreement.

“Oh! Are you going to spend the day with the boys? Are they going to take you somewhere special,” Dad asked.

You laughed, “Yeah, I plan on spending the day with them seeing as I don’t have any work to do until I come back from my trip, but I don’t think they have a special event planned.”

“Okay well, don’t party too hard with them! Have fun, be safe and we’ll see you when you visit.”

You fondly smiled, “You got it! Love you guys!”

“Love you,” they said in unison before waving goodbye, then hanging up.

You sighed as you locked your phone and let it drop on the bed before shifting in bed trying to get comfortable so you could go back to sleep.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

You scrunched your face at the sound of light knocking and groaned as you stretched before pulling the blanket over your shoulders and rolled over on your side, trying to go back to sleep.

You didn’t get very far until another round of soft knocking woke you up once more before the door slowly creaked open.

“Y/n,” Jungkook whispered. You sleepily hummed, peeking an eye open to look at him.

“Jin told me to let you know that breakfast is almost ready.”

“Okay, I’ll be down there in a sec,” you croaked out.

He nodded and closed the door, leaving you to wake up on your own, so you stretched once again to get rid of the sleep from your body before reaching up to grab your glasses off of the night stand. You sat up, moved the blanket off of me and placed your feet on the floor. With a yawn and one final stretch, you stood up and made your way to the bathroom.

Once you were done, you started down towards the kitchen and upon reaching the bottom of the steps, there was a delicious smell wafting through the air. You walked over to the kitchen to see Jin hovering over the stove before picking the pan up and plating its contents. You took a seat at the island as Jin turned around and placed a plate of (y/f/f) in front of you.

“Tada! Breakfast is served,” Jin said, taking a towel off of the oven handle, wiping his hands clean.

You looked down at the food and then at Jin, smiling. “Ooh~ my favorite! What’s the occasion?”

He shrugged as you took a bite of food, melting at the familiar taste. “I figured since you haven’t gotten to eat it in a while and all of us really like it so… I would go ahead and make it!”

You stopped for a second.

Just because? Did he-

You lightly shook your head at the thought.

You tried again, “So, that’s the only reason? Nothing special?”

He shook his head as he looked at you. “Nope, why? Should there be another reason to make this?”

You shook your head, breathing out a laugh before giving him a smile.

“Nope! Thank you for the food, Jin,” you said, before going back to eating.

You finished the food a while after Jin had left the kitchen. You thought it was interesting that he didn’t seem remember your birthday considering that he was excited for it a few weeks back.

Maybe he’ll ‘remember’ later, you thought as you washed the dish and put it on the rack to dry.

When you was done with that, you looked over to the living room to find Jimin, Hobi, Tae, and Yoongi sitting on the couches scrolling through their phones. You walked up to where Hobi and Jimin were sitting and placed your hands on the back of the couch resulting in a soft pat sound.

Hobi lifted his head. “Oh hey, Y/n,” he said with a smile.

You looked at him and saw that he was dressed up; still casual, but better than sweats, so you looked around the room at each of them and saw that they were dressed the same, fancy but still casual.

“Are you guys going out,” you asked, hinting that they had at least put some thought into what they were wearing instead of the sweats you had gotten used to over that past few days.

Jimin breathed out a chuckle and shook his head, “Nah. We’ve just got practice in bit.”

“Oh yeah! That reminds me,” you turned over to Namjoon, who was adjusting his coat as he made his way over to where you and the guys were, “We’ll have practice until 5 and we have a company meeting and dinner after that, so we won’t be home until late, okay?”

Oh.

You plastered a smile on your face and nodded as Jin and Jungkook came into the room, prompting the others to get up from where they were sitting.

“Yeah, that’s fine. You guys go… be great or whatever you do,” you force a laugh, giving Jungkook a light nudge on his arm, hoping to hide your slight disappointment.

Might’ve worked too well as they laughed and started heading out.

“We’ll see you when we get back,” Yoongi turned to me. You nodded,

“Okay. Have fun! Be safe! Work hard!”

You waved good-bye to them as you watched them file into the black SUVs and drive away from the house. You sadly sighed at the thought that they forgot, but decided to make the most of it while you still felt like it. So, you went back upstairs, got ready, shrugged on a jacket and went out to who-knows-where.

Turns out that spending a day by yourself on your birthday was get a little tiring after a while. You sighed as you plopped down on a random park bench, letting the shopping bags fall on the ground next to your legs. Though it was late December, there wasn’t any snow on the ground due to the weather being weirdly warm, which just created slush and puddles.

You rolled up the sleeve of jacket and stared down at the watch as its hands ticked just passed 5 o’clock.

“They should be done with practice now,” you quietly muttered and dug into the coat pocket, pulling out your phone and checking if the members texted.

I wonder if they remembered yet?

Looking through the notifications, none of their names showed up, giving you your answer.

You sadly nodded as disappointment started to seep in before putting your phone back into its hiding place and grabbing the bags as you stood up and started to walk back home. As you drew closer to home, you stopped by the convenience store and picked up a slice of cake and a box of candles, hoping that maybe the members would remember before the day was over so you could celebrate together.

Once home, you set all the bags in your room then remembered the slice you had bought and quietly made your way to the kitchen to put the cake in the fridge, then plopped down on the couch and put on a movie as you waited for the boys to come home. Slowly, your eyelids started to feel heavy and as you tried your best to stay awake, the tiring day finally got to you as you let your eyes close.

You didn’t start to stir until the sound of shuffling made its way to your ears. Opening one eye to peak around at what was happening, you saw the members filing into the house one by one. You sat up immediately and rubbed the sleep from your eyes as you looked at the time on your phone.

11:45.

“How was your day, you guys,” you yawned out the question, getting up from the couch and stretching.

“Tiring,” Jin said as he walked passed you towards his room.

“Yeah, we’re probably just head to bed,” Hobi said with a tired smile. You sent back a small but warm smile and nodded in understanding,

“Yeah, of course. Good night.”

There was some tired muttering of ‘good night’s from the others as they passed by and a small nod from Yoongi as they quietly made their ways to their respective rooms, turning off the kitchen light therefore leaving you to stand in the dark alone. You looked at the time on your phone and knew that they weren’t going to come out anymore.

So… they didn’t remember after all?

You walked over to the fridge and pulled out the slice of cake, carrying it to the counter and setting it down before opening a drawer and taking out a candle and lighter.

Sticking the candle in the center of the cake, you took the lighter and lit it. You stared at the tiny flame, putting my hands together as you made a wish before quickly blowing out the candle and placing it back in the fridge and the clock struck midnight.

“Are you sure you have everything,” Yoongi asked as Jungkook handed you the carry-on bag and backpack.

You nodded, “Yep! I should be all set.”

You looked around the group before your eyes settled on Taehyung.

“I’m sorry that I won’t be able to make it to your birthday dinner tonight,” you sadly smiled.

He waved you off, “Don’t worry about it! You can’t exactly control flight times and I know you are dying to see your family. Oh, and thank you for the gift.”

You took a few steps towards him and pulled him into a hug to which he happily reciprocated.

“Of course! And there’s also a slice of cake I bought in the fridge for you, if you want,” you said, pulling away from the hug in order to say bye to the rest of them, seeing as you won’t be back until the New Year.

“I should get going,” you said, taking the luggage in your hand as you started to slowly back away from the group.

“I’ll be back in a week! Happy New Years, you guys!”

“Be safe!” “Take care, Y/n/n!” “Bye!” The members waved as they watched you turn around and walk toward your gate.

There was this feeling that Jimin had that he couldn’t seem to shake as he watch you disappear into the crowd of people.

“Guys… I feel like we’re forgetting something.”

“What do you mean? Y/n said she had everything,” Taehyung commented as he placed a hand on Jimin’s shoulder.

The latter shook his head, “No. I think we’re forgetting something.”

The members looked around as if trying to retrace their steps. “We dropped off Y/n. Later, we’re going to dinner for Tae’s birthday,” Namjoon listed off as something seemed to collectively click in their brains.

“Did we forget,” Jungkook started.

“Y/n’s birthday,” Hobi finished the thought and everyone’s eye widened in realization.

Oh no…

#bts fic #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bangtan #bts #bts fanfic #bts x you #kim namjoon #kim namjoon fanfic #kim seokjin fanfic #kim seokjin #kim taehyung #jungkook #park jimin #bts jin #bts jimin #jin #bts v #min yoongi

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matryosika · 1 year ago

Text

Incoming Call

Pairing — Hyunjin x fem!reader Wordcount — 3,394 words Genre — Smut (18+) Includes — Suggestive content. Smut warnings under the cut. Author's note — This honestly came out of the blue. I was just feeling like phone sex and exhibitionism and this is what I ended up writing, haha. I hope you like it, it's just a silly little drabble in which my writer's block didn't get the best of me. I am actually proud I could come up with something, but it's not as filthy as other of my works. Please remember that english is not my first language, so i apologize for any mistakes in advanced! If you wish to support my blog further, please reblog and comment, leave an ask and check my pinned post for my ko-fi!

Smut warnings — Dirty talk. Phone sex and exhibitionism if you squint. Masturbation (m), Hyunjin is kind of a perv but it's very very tame. Use of petnames (baby), mentions of creampies, and other sexual fantasies. Hyunjin is needy and desperate. Reader's mom interrupts the hated moment (not cool!).

Time zones.

By far your most terrible enemies these days.

It wasn't only the jet lag that threw you off from coming back home, but the abysmal time difference between you and your boyfriend —he goes to bed right before you wake up, and his most active time is when you are about to sleep.

It has been a couple of days, but texting with him has been an absolute nightmare.

“It’s only a week,” you reassured him as he waved you goodbye at the airport. His lower lip was slightly pouting, and his usually straight eyebrows were raised in a subtle furrow. “I’m sure you’ll live, Hyunjin”.

“Yeah but I wanted to come with you,” there was genuine pity in his voice and you knew he meant it —he never misses a chance to join you on your trips back home, or meeting your parents.

Because of how busy he has been, and the fact that this trip was practically nonexistent a week before, he just couldn't ask for a time off at work this time.

“We’re spending Christmas there this year,” you tried to cheer him up, rubbing his arm with solace, “time flies by, anyways”.

Hyunjin nodded, resigning himself to the imminent struggle of being hours and miles apart from each other.

“Text me when you get there, yeah?” He planted a chaste kiss on your forehead and held you tightly. “Text me all the time, I’ll reply when I can, okay?”

You nodded against his chest, and kept his promise throughout the whole trip.

You texted him when you got to your home country, and you also texted him a picture of your first meal there. You told him all about the weather, how happy your parents were to see you after a while and the things you missed the most.

He promised he would reply when he could, but you knew that wasn't going to happen any time soon. Or at least not for a couple of more hours, until he woke up.

And basically, that has been the whole dynamic all along —you text him everything about your day at a given time, and he texts you everything about his day at a given time as well. There's very little conversation happening in between, but it's understandable.

By day 3, Hyunjin learned to convert time zones. If it is morning for him, it is late afternoon for you. If it is his late night, you're probably just waking up.

He knows when to text you —if he is expecting a quick response— and knows when you're sleeping. Taking all that into account, Hyunjin tries to make the most of the time that's actually convenient for the two of you to talk.

[08:19 a.m., Hyunjin: Baby]

With furrowed eyebrows, your fingers type away faster than your mind can comprehend it.

[08:19 a.m., You: Shouldn’t you be asleep?]

[08:19 a.m., You: Isn’t it like 11 p.m. in Seoul?]

He is a night owl. Always have been.

But he has been trying really hard to adopt a healthier sleeping schedule, so seeing him online past 10 p.m. it's unusual these days.

“Everything alright?” Your father asks, picking up on the subtle furrow of your brows.

“Yeah, I’m just talking to Hyunjin,” with your phone in one hand, and the other busy with a fork on your breakfast, you await his response.

“It’s such a shame he couldn’t make it,” your mother adds, “it has been a while since we last met him”.

At that moment, when your mom and dad start talking about how great of a guy he is and how happy they’re to have him as part of the family, your phone vibrates yet again in your hand.

[08:21 a.m., Hyunjin: Attachment: one image]

[08:21 a.m., Hyunjin: Can you see how much I miss you?]

If it wasn’t for the glass of water you smartly chugged down to hide your coughs, you would have choked on a piece of fruit. Inevitably, and after a failed attempt to conceal the embarrassing moment, your parents' eyes are fixed on you with concern.

“Sorry,” you excuse yourself, cleaning your lips with a napkin while you relentlessly try to put your phone away from anyone’s sight.

“Are you alright?” your mother asks this time, softly hitting your back

“Yes,” you nod swiftly. “I just- the food kind of went into the wrong pipe”.

On your lap, your phone keeps vibrating —one after another, you lose count after message number 4.

[08:22 a.m., Hyunjin: God, I miss your body so much]

[08:22 a.m., Hyunjin: Just want you here for me. Don't want anyone else to have you right now]

[08:23 a.m., Hyunjin: My hand isn't enough. It doesn't feel like your pussy does]

[08:23 a.m., Hyunjin: Can you come back to me now? Lay underneath me and let me have my way with you?]

[08:24 a.m., Hyunjin: You have no idea how fucking hard I am]

You gulp loudly.

“What do you think?” It's only when your mother directs a question at you that you snap out of your trance.

“Huh?”

“What do you think about spending Christmas in some beautiful cabins? They're like 45 minutes away from the city,” she continues, offering you some of the context you missed because of Hyunjin’s heated messages.

“Uh, yeah,” you reply with hesitation. Not because of the idea, but because you really can’t process anything other than the warmth between your legs. “I- uh, I have to go to the restroom”.

For all he knows, you're lying comfortably in your bed as this is around the time you usually wake up. So damned you, for not letting Hyunjin know that today you are having breakfast with your family at a restaurant. And damned him for putting you into an awkward situation without even knowing of it.

[08:25 a.m., Hyunjin: Can I call you?]

[08:25 a.m., Hyunjin: Want to hear your voice]

[08:25 a.m., Hyunjin: Please, talk to me. Tell me anything you want. Just let me hear that pretty voice of yours]

[08:27 a.m., Hyunjin: Fuck it]

[08:27 a.m., Hyunijn: I’m calling you]

Good luck can’t be any more useful than right now, that you enter the restaurant’s restroom with your fingers crossed and an immense feeling of relief when you see every single stall open.

And, as if on cue, the soft piano melody coming from your phone's speakers tells you that Hyunjin stuck up to his last message.

“Are you busy?” It’s the first thing he says, with a hoarse voice and a hitched breath.

“I’m at a restaurant,” you reply with just a little bit of shame in your tone. “With my parents”.

Your boyfriend lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Shit I’m- I didn’t know, I’m sorry,” you can hear him panicking, maybe because he thinks you're upset. But in reality, it's all quite the opposite. “I’ll call you later just- forget I even- whatever, I’ll call you another time”.

“No,” you rush to say, locking yourself into one of the bathroom stalls. “Don’t hang up, I can- I’m at the restroom”.

There's a quick seconds of silence from the other line as Hyunjin gathers the remaining coherent thoughts after getting to hear your voice. “Is it- are there other people there?”

“For now it’s just me,” you reassure him.

“Just you?” He asks, and you hum in response. “I’m sorry for calling it’s just- God, I can’t spend another day without you”.

The wet, sloppy slow sounds paired with the laziness of his voice can only give you a hint of what he is doing.

“Are you- masturbating?”

It's not like you're a prude, but this whole thing is taking you by surprise. You're always together, so there's no need for phone sex or anything of that sort. Sexting isn’t unusual, but this is definitely a first.

“Yeah,” he replies with a raspy scoff. “Want me to stop?”

“No, I- no,” when you encourage him to continue, the lewd, wet sounds start to become more and more frequent —increasingly loud for you to hear them, “keep going”.

Hyunjin lets out a deep sigh of frustration.

“Do you miss me too?” he asks, biting down his lower lip to prevent any whimpers from falling from them.

“Yes,” with shortness of breath you admit. “I miss you too,”.

“Yeah?” He whispers under his breath, letting small grunts make their way to your ears. “I miss you badly. Can’t stop thinking about you- shit, can’t stop thinking about how pretty you look when you’re naked in my bed”.

The compliments, all together, make your cheeks and body grow hotter. But inevitably, they force you to fix your gaze under the bathroom stall, in that little gap between it and the floor. There’s no sound nor signals of footsteps approaching, but the adrenaline of hearing him say such dirty things when you're out in public is definitely a new experience.

You can't say you hate it.

“Baby,” Hyunjin moans. And although you can’t see it, you can take a wild guess what he looks like right now: head kicked back, legs spread, his hand and dick glistening with lube, or lotion, or maybe spit. You can picture how pretty his face is right now, contorted in pleasure, with his lips all swollen from licking and biting them, eyes completely white while he bucks his hips up against his fist. “Talk to me, tell me about your plans for the day”.

You can’t help but laugh a little in the midst of the tension.

“You want me to- talk about my day while you masturbate?”

“Well,” he scoffs under his breath. “I don’t expect you to say dirty stuff while you’re locked in a public restroom where anyone can walk in”.

“Right,” you nod to yourself. “But I don't understand what that would do for you”.

“I like your voice,” your boyfriend lets out a deep exhale of relief. “I can get off just by listening to it, doesn’t matter what you’re talking about”.

“You’re crazy,” a soft chuckle falls from your lips. “You’re not even going to pay attention to me”.

“Please?” you can hear a small whimper, and that alone convinces you.

“Okay well,” you clear your throat before continuing, wondering how this could arouse him. But he is asking you something that is nowhere near difficult, so you comply. “I’m having breakfast with my parents right now”.

“Aha,” Hyunjin hums, and if you play close attention you can hear his hand sliding up and down his cock. All you're left with is your imagination. “Keep going”.

“I will meet with a friend later, we’re going to grab some coffee”.

Despite the weirdness of it all, there's something enticing about knowing he is using you, in some way, to get off. You're only talking about your day. But knowing your boyfriend is masturbating to the sound of your voice is arousing.

“Then I’ll go back home, get some work done,” you continue. “Think about you, think about how much I miss you right now”.

The line goes silent, except for a mixture of gasps and groans.

“You’re going to think about me?” Hyunjin asks, his silky voice sending shivers down your spine. “You’re going to touch yourself thinking about me?”

“Yes,” of course he doesn't expect you to talk dirty to him. But that never meant he couldn't say that kind of stuff to you. At that, you're at a disadvantage. No matter how turned on you're getting, there's nothing you can do about it and Hyunjin sort of feels thrilled because of it.

“You’re going to fuck my pussy with those fingers of you?”

God, how much you hate him for that. How he talks about your body as if it is his, reminding you that you belong to him and him only.

You only hate it because it never fails to arouse you.

“Y-yes Hyune,” you reply, swallowing thickly. You're aware you can't say anything too obscene, but you still can engage in that kind of conversation without airing yourself too much. “Or should I- use something else?”

“You packed your toys?” your boyfriend lets out a satisfied groan at your hum of agreement. You two are just so alike. “Which one are you using tonight, baby?”

“The transparent one”.

“The transparent one?” he thinks about it for a second, and immediately remembers which one you're referring to. “Thought you were going for the wand because it's your favorite, but I'm guessing you miss feeling full?”

“Aha,” you exhale. “Yes, I- miss it so bad”.

“You miss my cock stretching that tight pussy of yours?” At that, the wet movements become louder. “Stretch it nice and open for me baby, make sure to prep yourself every day for when you get back”.

You bite your nails. “What’s going to happen when I get back?”

The answer is rather obvious, but you want to hear it from him.

“I’m going to make you come until you pass out,” Hyunjin bites his lips and kicks his head back, reminiscing all those times where you’ve come around his cock, fingers and tongue. “Make it up to you for all the days you've been away”.

You can feel the pooling wetness in your underwear, the minimum squeeze of your thighs against each other is a constant reminder of it.

“You miss my lips against your pussy like I do?” he asks, letting out a liberating gasp. “You miss tasting yourself off of me while we kiss?”

“You know I do,” you gulp loudly, caressing your lips with the tip of your fingers. God, how much you miss feeling his against yours.

They’re so soft, and velvety, and they know exactly how to kiss and bite you.

“I’m so close,” Hyunjin announces, and you feel your nipples hardening underneath your underwear at the despair in his voice. “I just- wish you were here, want to come all over your face, and body, make you swallow me full”.

You want to say something, anything, but his words have much of a chokehold on you. You'll give anything to taste him, to kneel in front of him right now and open your mouth wide for him.

You miss his taste, miss kissing him afterwards in between whines and grunts.

“I would grab your hair really tightly,” he explains, increasing the speed of his sounds. “I’d push my cock deep inside that pretty mouth of yours, have you gagging and drooling all over it”.

Between his overwhelming words, and the loud sound of someone barging through the door of the restroom, you mutter a quick "can't talk anymore" before going completely silent.

“Honey, are you okay?”

Shit.

You close your eyes, trying to focus on both parts: Hyunjin’s moans, and the way your mother is standing right outside your bathroom stall.

“It has been like 10 minutes, your father and I got worried”.

Your boyfriend lets out a teasing scoff, one that only you can hear.

“She’s asking you a question,” Hyunjin murmurs, still with a hitched breath. “Aren’t you going to answer?”

“I’m fine,” you rush to say. “Just- having a stomachache”.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve got some medicine in my bag,” of course she did. She always does, ever since you were little.

“Maybe you should tell her the truth,” the voice from the other line calls. “Tell her that you’re busy making me come”.

Immediately, your eyes open like plates and you wonder if the sound of the phone is too loud for your mom to hear it inside the quiet restroom.

“I forgot!” you snap, practically yell out loud. “I forgot you carried those with you”.

“Want me to bring them to you?”

You hear the faucet running, and Hyunjin chuckling slowly. At least she isn’t standing right outside the stall, but you’re still not at ease.

“Y-yeah, please,” on the line, Hyunjin is waiting for the perfect moment to interrupt.

Those two words are enough to send him to the edge. Despite the lack of sexual connotations, hearing you beg for anything it’s enough to arouse him.

“Ah, but I’ll have to bring you some water too,” your mother explains. “Maybe you can have it when you return to the table?”

“No!” You insist, all in an attempt to kick her away from the restroom. “Please, I need it right now. Please?”

“Are you going to beg for me like that too?” Hyunjin groans through the line, not caring if anyone can hear him. Also not caring about interrupting your conversation. “Are you going to open your legs for me and beg for my dick like you’re begging right now?”

You almost choke on your own saliva, but the feeling quickly goes away when you hear your mother mutter an “okay, alright” before walking out the restroom door with a mission of easing your fake stomach ache.

“I almost get caught,” you gasp, only when a couple of seconds pass after she leaves.

“Then hang up,” his shakily breath only tells you he is not that far from coming. Especially after hearing your voice again, pleading for whatever it was you were asking.

“No,” you shake your head. “Want to hear you, please”.

“Want to hear how I come for you?” he chuckles. “Want to her how I moan your name while I come thinking about how much I wish I was fucking you?”.

In a whisper, you hum quietly.

“So dirty,” he is getting closer. “So, so f-fucking dirty. I can tell you’re enjoying this, even while you're out in public. Maybe you'll like it if i were to fuck you right there, while your parents wait for us at the table?”.

You cover your mouth in surprise, trying to muffle a gasp.

“I would love to come inside you right now, pull up your panties and force you to spend the rest of the day with my cum leaking out of you,” he lets out another loud, choked groan before continuing to elaborate on the fantasy. “You'd be so wet, you wouldn't know if you're turned on or it's just my cum”.

“You’re insane,” you whisper under your breath.

“Yeah?” Hyunjin asks teasingly, slurring his words in between moans. “I know you are too, baby. I don’t even need to take a look at you to know you’re probably dripping just by my words, right?”

Damned him.

“And I know I’m not too out of my mind when I say you would let me fuck you right then and there, where everyone could hear you and anyone could walk in,” at that, the lewd noises increase. “Might even let me finger you underneath the table, right? Bet you would love to have my fingers deep inside you while you try to pretend you don’t”.

Oh you're definitely going to cancel all your plans for the day. Might even book an early fly.

Anything, just to see him soon.

“God,” Hyunjin exhales, and it’s between quiet moans that you realize he is coming. “F-fuck, ‘m coming so fucking much”.

You can picture it. His tone abdomen all glistening with sweat and cum, shining brightly underneath the dim light of your room. His cock is probably red, and swollen, and twitching while he overcomes his high.

Fuck, damned be Hyunjin for making you ruin your panties this early in the morning.

“So much,” he repeats, fingers trailing the lines of his abdomen as he collects his arousal off of it. “Too sad it went to waste, I would’ve preferred to fuck it back inside of you”.

“I hate you,” you finally breathe, both in relief and frustration. “I hate how much I miss you”.

“Then come home soon,” your boyfriend pouts.

And honestly? You might.

#stray kids smut #skz smut #kpop smut #hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin smut

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lvlyhao · 1 year ago

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『when he's on tour / MARK LEE』

A/N: thoughts on how mark would be as bf when he's away on tour :(

gifs used in this are not mine and they will be removed if requested!!

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡), comedy (☼)

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: i swear a bit maybe???

disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © lvlyhao 2023.

--------

mark is usually pretty clingy with you already, but he turns it up to the max before a tour

being away from you like that is one of the parts about his job he hates the most, and yeah, he knew what he was signing up for since the beginning

but he can’t help but be heartbroken about it every. single. time

the other members know him well enough to give like a 2 weeks notice for him to get his shit together and spend as much time with you as humanly possible??

cus otherwise, he’ll get caught up in rehearsals, schedules and whatever else and then the day before they leave be like

“oh shit”

and if that’s the case we all know mark is gonna be miserable during the whole thing right lmao

yeah mom taeyong isn’t letting that happen

(again)

mark normally sees the time before a tour as an opportunity to check off a LOT of things from your couples bucket list

like, do you have any tv shows you’ve been meaning to watch together? you’re binging it today

you wanted to visit that coffee shop right? get your coat, you’re going rn

you wanted to buy matching bracelets yeah? he’s already got them

and it’s just a very fun, loving time for the both of you

it keeps you busy enough not to spiral about what it’s gonna be like not seeing each other for months

of course, it doesn’t work 100% of the time

especially at night, when mark’s about to fall asleep, the loneliness of not having you around starts to seep in

and it’s like he says goodbye to you in his head before it happens irl

which is 1. sad as heck??? and 2. kinda suffering through it twice, cus he always thinks he’s gonna be more “well prepared” for it this time, and that’s never true

by now it’s probably pretty obvious touring is a very dramatic experience for him right lmao

johnny’s always like “bro it’s just a couple months you’re gonna be f i n e” but for mark it’s,,, not that simple

he’d rather say bye when it’s just the two of you, maybe at your place or somewhere nice

it feels a lot calmer when it’s like that, cus then it’s tight hugs, some kisses and mark saying he promises he’ll text you every day and call you as much as he can

and yeah maybe one of you lets a tear or two fall down but it’s fine

now

if you go with them to the airport

it’s gonna be so much more chaotic like holy crap, trust me, not going is the better option

if for some unknown reason you’re like “no i’ll go with you to catch the plane and we’ll say bye there”

there’s gonna be a lot more crying involved

cus it’s one thing hugging you bye when his flight’s in 6 hours or so, but it’s a whole other thing when everyone’s already boarding and some other member is trying very hard to be gentle but he has to go NOW

it’s all so rushed he can barely even tell you he loves you :(

mainly bc he wanted to keep hugging you until he absolutely had to let you go

oh well

mark is 10000% the type to ask you to put together a playlist for him to listen to during the trip

he can be a bit of an airhead at times but he does his best to keep you updated on how he’s doing, where he is right now, things of the sort

so he tries to text you the moment the plane lands, when they get to the hotel, when he’s eaten

and it’s not even just texts

it’s a cute candid selfie AND a text

now

mark is definitely not the best photographer in nct

but he will try so hard to take good pictures for you

cus all he wants is for you to feel like you’re there with him, seeing all those cool places

having said that, most pictures do turn out to be crappy

but he’s willing to ask for help from another member so it’s all good lmao

(i’m looking at johnny, jaemin or tyong tbh)

sends you a picture of every single dog or cat he sees

absolutely every single one

keeps a clock in your timezone in his phone so he knows the best times to text/call

speaking of calling

i’m sorry to tell you you’re not getting a one on one facetime session with him

it’s just not happening

like it may last 5 minutes tops, but that’s the time it takes for someone to hear your voice/barge into his room and immediately ask to talk to you

haechan, johnny, yukhei and baek do that a lot

but normally the other members follow lmao

it’s 50% to annoy him but 50% bc they genuinely wanna see you

it doesn’t bother you too much cus you know

they’re cute or whatever

he’s not really the type to get small trinkets from every place he goes to bc that’s just ??so much??

instead, he’ll probably get you one really nice gift

like this huge plushie he had to carry around himself on their way back home bc no one had enough space in their bags for it

or a new perfume he thinks you’ll like

i love him your honour

one last thing bc this is already way too long

mark is the KING of backstage pictures and TMI's about the other members

like at this point you have enough blackmail material to torture them for 6 months minimum

and tbh it’s mainly haechan when he’s with dream/127 and jongin with superm lol

but he keeps it varied

you end up with even some derpy jaehyun pics, best case scenario

he’s already making plans on how you are gonna celebrate him being back home

…and it most likely includes building a pillow fort and watching marvel movies but i didn’t tell you that

#nct 127 #nct dream #mark lee #nct mark #nct scenarios #nct reactions #nct angst #nct fluff #mark lee x reader #mark x reader #mark lee fluff #nct fanfic

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marigoldbaker · 1 month ago

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making a list of good things that happened this year because there's too many and i need them recorded for posterity

visited bonus mom in england and it rewired my entire brain chemistry. i did not blog about it a lot i don't think and i don't talk about it often because it was such a joyful celia is fully present experience, but i will say that when i first arrived at the airport i was so fucking nervous and i was all kinds of shaky and fucked up and terrified that this six year long relationship would fall apart when we tried to translate it to irl and then i saw them there with a sign for me that is now on my wall in my apartment and something in my heart snapped into place and i literally physically flung myself at them and tripped over my suitcase and my knees gave out and i ended up dragging them down to the floor and we hugged for like at least ten minutes (conservative estimate probably). true story

jess is an entire bullet point on this list. funny sweet important passionate talented dedicated hardworking academically iconic definitely needs to take more naps keeps me apprised on extensive sims lore is coming out to visit in february is incisively thoughtful and we've made up beef for our dnd characters together. i love you a lot jess. i would say more things but i bet even these things are going to make you hide under a pillow. so.

so many other friends! like??? insane???? quite a few irl friends which is so cool! particular love for hal and silvain and rj (calendiles dnd crew i love you i'm so glad me putting down jenny has not meant putting down our friendships bc you're all such marvelous people) and gabby and silvain (silvain gets a double mention for Reading Literally All Of My 200K Word Fic reasons. erudite, and immensely appreciated)

and the new bg3 friends i'm beginning to associate with who i don't wanna name by name bc i'm shy and i care overly but PLEASEEE know if we've texted more than once about bg3 i probably adore you greatly and admire your creativity and thoughtful opinions and am trying to play it cool but im bad at it. yes this is about you. i deeply hope we will continue talking. probably about jaheira bc im obsessed with that woman.

being part of like 2 different dnd campaigns this year right around the time i started playing bg3 for the first time was REALLY fucking cool.

ACTUALLY ON THAT SUBJECT THE WHOLE BG3 THING WAS REALLY FUCKING COOL. it feels really special to not like....idk, this year is the first year of my life i have not been labeling myself as That Jenny Calendar Girl! i don't feel like i'm That Jenny Calendar Girl. i am celia :) i like a lot of different things! i like video games, i like bookmaking, i like drawing, i like cooking and food, i like fashion, i like writing, i like little calico critters <3 ironically my url is still the same but i think i am going to keep it that way for a little while, because i like remembering what brought me to this blog in the first place.

fell in love with my neighborhood! it was always bound to happen, but the moving-in process was rough, and it took me a while to connect with the place. now i know what drink i like to order at the local cafes, i know where i want to go for coffee and for pizza, i know about farmers' markets and local events, i know that There Is A Fucking Swimming Pool Across From My House. i do not think i can ever leave.

started to FINALLY feel comfortable in my job! i still don't totally know what i'm doing, but i don't feel like i'm sleepwalking through work while badly dissociating, and i really love the work that i do + the position i fill. i'm so hopeful that i can continue to work with teens. being a teen librarian is oft a difficult position to find

learned how to cook! did not do it often this year but oh well. i was busy.

went to the chicago art institute for the first time ever and got to see a sunday afternoon on the island of la grande jatte by georges seurat which was really insanely meaningful because sunday in the park with george is one of my dad's favorite musicals, and he went and saw that painting a long long time ago, and he also went and saw the monet paintings, and we texted a bunch about it

kept connected with my dad and my brother, and am starting to realize that having my own adult life means i fit a lot easier into theirs.

was briefly and meaningfully reunited with the actual love of my life (the pacific ocean)

VISITED A ROCK BEACH IN ENGLAND. if no one else got me i KNOW rock beach got me. everyone i have talked to is like "no, beaches need to be sandy" but i don't think they understand the sensory experience of sitting among 10000000000 rocks and picking them up and playing with them and finding a piece of rock chalk and drawing faces on the rocks and leaving all the rock faces for someone else to find and hopefully be unnerved by and then having your bonus mom's partner be like "celia are you just abandoning your children there" and reconsidering a lot of life choices but not enough to take the rock faces

i love you lake michigan im sorry i spent 80 percent of this year being mad at you for not being the pacific ocean im done having emotional problems i promise

went and saw wicked 3 different times

went on a couple of really meaningful and sweet dates and even if they didn't go anywhere i think the fact that i'm capable of feeling like that about another person is super awesome to know, and makes me so excited to keep on trying with that

went on a bunch of REALLY wonderful friend-dates and made new friends :) who i have been hanging out with on and off when our schedules allow for the last few months, and who invite me to parties and things!

received some really incredible and personal holiday gifts from a couple of friends, making me subsequently realize that maybe i'm not impossible to give gifts to

drew an entire wall of art for above my bed

bought a four piece microwave safe dish set in colors i love that remind me of marigold. for $10. will absolutely never let anyone forget that or change my blog title (which is a reference to the fact that i went insane that day to the extent that a woman leaving the shop saw me sitting outside with my cardboard box of dishes and went "are you still enjoying your dish set?" and i did not know who she was bc i blacked out and told everyone in the store about how much i loved the dish set. apparently)

i cannot even talk about marigold without getting so unwell and feeling in my chest just this indescribable feeling. i spent like eight years unwaveringly obsessed with a minor character from a 90s tv show who i really was just making into my own original character, but she never could feel fully mine, and the experience of creating my own girl from scratch (baking her, lol) when i was regularly dissociating and vaguely suicidal and having her be the thing that made me figure out how to connect with things and be happy again has been probably one of the best things i have ever experienced. to know unequivocally that the thing that makes me feel strong and centered is something i made for myself out of all the complicated insecurities and worries i feel. she brings me so much joy. i don't think i'm ever going to put her down. that 90s girl was not my baby, and that 90s video game woman, as beloved as she is, may not be around in my heart forever (though i strongly suspect it's going to be another decade, lol) but marigold? that's always. i love her. she's the girl i made for me

#musings #THIS BECAME A LONG LIST #i figure this is the fun good kind of emotions :') and i want to put them here #end of year retrospective #maybe i want to start a new tradition...

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tootiecakes234 · 7 months ago

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@queenpiranhadon thank you so much for adding me to this writing event😇 it’s my very first one and I’m so glad to be apart of working with all these amazing people.

Syn: Kento’s wife finds out he’s been hit by a curse and turned into a frog. Only true love’s kiss can cure him.

I hope this story does the idea in my head justice.

This is supposed to be romance/comedy I guess… Enjoy😘😘

*also my longest story to date

It’s been months since you’ve been back to the home where you’d grown up. It’s gotten harder and harder to find the time between teaching your students and exercising curses.

But you and your husband always made time every year to make sure you got back during Mardi Gras.

See you came from New Orleans, Louisiana and you left home your last year of high school to attend jujutsu high. It was the top school for learning to use your cursed technique so you’d jumped on the opportunity when it presented itself.

This led to you meeting your husband, Nanami Kento and also one of the amazing friends you’d made Satoru Gojo.

Mentioning Gojo now because to Kento’s dismay, he’d weaseled his way into this trip. His entire reason for going, being the if he didn’t get to try the beignets from New Orleans, he would simply pass away.

Kento questioned everyday, how he’d managed to fall in love with Satoru’s best friend. It was the only hesitation he had when it came to dating you in the beginning because he knew he would be stuck with Gojo for life… And here he was in the cab with you guys on the way to your dad’s restaurant.

“ have I mentioned how much I love America. There’s a sweet shop on every corner we’ve passed. I’m gonna go into a diabetic shock.”, Satoru said from the left side of you.

Under his breath you heard Kento mutter, “Sounds good to me” and you elbowed him softly.

The two of them had been bickering since you’d met up at the airport in Japan. You weren’t gonna make it the whole trip without at least a few headaches.

“So it’s the first day of Mardi Gras and I know the restaurants gonna be super busy so what are you guys going to do to keep yourselves entertained while I’m working in the kitchen with my dad?” You asked them.

“Well I figured we would have lunch at the restaurant first and go from there. At some point, I have to go and take care of that curse that I promised Yaga I would look into.” Kento states.

Of course Satoru interrupts, “ I don’t know why you took that on. I told the higher-ups that this is my vacation and it’s going to be curse fucking free.”

“Yes well not all of us are the chosen one and can just tell our superiors no when they ask for something. Besides, it’s only a level two curse. It shouldn’t take me very long to handle.”

“ OK well Kento, just remembered to be extra careful. The curses of New Orleans are conniving. They’re not particularly hard to exercise, but they can get you in some sticky situations. Trust me, I know.” You informed him once more.

There weren’t many curses around here but the ones that were always tried to slip a trick on people before killing them.

“ I promise to be safe, my love” and he pressed a kiss against your temple.

“And Nanami, you know if you run into any trouble your Senpai will be there to help you. I’m just a call away.” And you would hear the cheekiness lingering in his voice.

“ for the love of God” Kento groaned.

Fortunately, for him, you were pulling up to the restaurant now. the restaurant happened to also be connected to a place where your mom and dad stayed the restaurant downstairs and their house being upstairs.

You got to your child home and you guys unloaded the car and were immediately tackled by your mom and dad.

After you guys got inside and settled, it was already time for lunch prep to get started.

“ since you guys will be the first ones here you get the best seat in the house, which is in the middle so you’re far enough from the stage to have conversation but close enough to really hear the band that’ll be playing.” You told them as you came downstairs.

“ I think I would prefer to sit right next to the band as to make sure no conversation is had actually” Nanami said on you guys reached the first floor.

“Awwwwww, Ken, don’t act like. You’re hurting my feelings” Satoru whine as he drooped his arm over Kento’s shoulder.

You grabbed Gojo by his ear and sat him down in a chair.

“Stop riling him up or I’m not making beignets for you. Do you understand??” You ask with your eyebrows raised expectantly.

“Yes ma’am” he pouts but stays quiet.

Everything is smooth for a while as you set up for lunch, start cooking, and eventually start letting guests inside.

The place was packed before an hour had even passed so Satoru and Kento were forced to give up there seats and skeedadle. Kento to handle the curse he agreed to exorcise and Satoru to try every sweet he could find in a 5 mile radius.

Business was booming from lunch onward. You didn’t have a break between prepping, cooking and serving orders in the gaps between servers.

Satoru was still missing in action and all you could hope is that he didn’t walk into a voodoo shop trying to get sweets and walk out hexed.

On the other hand, Kento hadn’t tried to contact you either, but you didn’t have much time to think about it or check in right before the dinner rush.

You tried calling him and ended up talking to voicemail, so you decided to text him. You just sent a quick message asking if he was OK and when he’d be back.

Around two hours later, Gojo came sauntering in looking like a kid who was let loose in a candy shop with a credit card. He had all types of to go bags and shopping bags hanging off of him.

He went up to drop everything off before he slid into the kitchen to see you.

“ you haven’t heard from him since he left earlier”, he asked and you could hear the concern in his voice which only made you feel worse.

“ no and it started to make me nervous. I can’t just walk out and leave my dad to finish his dinner shift by himself.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s fine. I’ll use my six eyes to go see if I can find him. I’ll be back quick New Orleans minute” and the accent was so offensive you almost smacked the shit out of him.

“Just go.”

By the time Gojo got back, the dinner crowd had left, the restaurant was closed and you and your dad were in the back cleaning up.

He came in with no Nanami next to him, but both his hands hiding behind his back and a cheeky smile on his face.

“ where the hell is Kento! you’ve been gone for two hours and you mean to tell me you didn’t come back with him??” You started shouting at him.

You excused yourself from your parents ear shot while grabbing him by the ear again, and dragged him behind you.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch.” That really fucking hurts.

“ where the hell have you been? Where is my husband??!”

Satoru is rubbing his ear when he speaks, “ well I’ve got good news and bad news. Good news is I found Kinto, bad news is…” and he pulls his hand from behind his back. “ This is your husband.”

You immediately screamed because this asshole pulled a slimy, disgusting frog from behind his back!

“Satoru have you lost your mind again??? Have the sweets eaten a whole into your peanut sized brain!!! Get that thing out of here RIGHT NOW!!”

But before Gojo could speak…. The frog did.

“My love, i’m afraid this is the one time that Gojo is not joking around. It’s me.”

That voice was definitely Kento’s but there was no way. Absolutely now way.

“ I think she’s gonna pass out. Y/N are you gonna pass out?” Satoru said well balancing the frog in one hand and reaching out the other to catch your trembling form.

“Sweetheart maybe you should sit down. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

That was Kento alright. Always the worrying, doting husband.

“ it was the curse, wasn’t it? Kento I told you that the curse is here were different. How did you manage to let this happen? You’re a frog!” Your hands were rubbing circles at your temple and you were pacing back and forth.

“You were 100% right, but it was more than one curse and I was caught off guard.”

“ yeah he couldn’t exercise them in his frog form so I had to do it when I got there and let me tell you those things look even more insane the ones in Japan. I did manage to get some information out of them before I killed them though.”

“What kind of information?” You groaned. You had such a killer headache right now it felt like your head would pound for the rest of your life.

“ good news first or bad news first” he asked you with small smile playing at your lips.

The death glare you gave him would’ve cut through his infinity if he had it on.

“ OK so good news first, um, you can fix him!” He says.

“Oh thank god!” You say on an exhale.

“He hasn’t said the bad news yet, baby” Kento chirps up.

“Yeaaaa… bad news is the only way to break. The curse is with true loves kiss”

“No” the word flew out of your mouth so quickly. “No why in hell am I kissing a frog.”

“ my love…”

“Do not “my love” me Kento. There’s no way! You’re SLIMY AND GREEN!” And you’re in full blown hysterics now.

You hear a chuckle from Gojo but he quickly shuts his mouth.

“ darling, I know this is a bad time to bring this up but… I do recall a certain asking on more than ONE occasion, if her husband would love her if she were a worm, a fish, and a plethora of other little creature. And said husband said yes to all of those.”

The calmness in his voice at that moment had never made you more irritated.

“ those were hypotheticals! You can’t throw that back in my face now.” You whine again because you don’t know what else to do.

Gojo decided now to speak up again, “ I may have also forgotten to mention that if the curse isn’t broken by midnight, your darling husband will stay in this form until his dying day”

“Turn off the infinity Satoru! Turn it off now!”

“So you can MURDER ME!?!? I think not!”

“Just give me one swing at the pretty face. You’ll only have 3 eyes when I’m done with you cuz I’m taking out half your power with one punch!” You shout.

Satoru keeps his infinity up, places Kento on a table, and starts walking away from your murderous being.

“ well I’ll take that as my cut to leave. I’ll let you lovebird sort this out amongst yourselves. Umm quick heads up midnight strikes in about six minutes do what you want with that goodbye!” And he’s out the door.

“Baby.” Your husband says in that soft soothing tone of his. “ I love you and I will continue to love you even if you leave me in this state as a green slimy frog, but I would truly prefer if we just did a quick little kiss and got this over with.”

“I cannot believe this! I should leave you like this you know. I told you several times not to take on this assignment.” You mewl.

“I know. I deserve this, I truly do.”

“I’m about to miss a frog. Me, (your full name) am about to kiss a fucking frog!”

“It’ll be quick love, just a quick peck. Close your eyes and it’ll be over before you know it.”

“I think I’m gonna bath.”

“Please wait until after the kiss. I don’t want you to throw up on me, I’m already slimy.”

“Why would you say that now??” You ask him with your eyes stretched.

“Sorry, bad timing.”

“Ughhhhhh. Fuck, fine. Count me down.”

You start jumping in place preparing your self.

“3”…. You start leaning in, “2” inching closer and trying to to keep your gag reflex in order, “1” you slam your eyes shut, pucker your lips and connect them to the amphibians.

Before you know it, Kento is again standing in front of you, but there is a flash blinding you from seeing his face.

“Wow, that is true love. Y/N you just kissed a frog.” When the flash dies down you see Gojo with his phone held up to you two. He was recording the whole thing.

“Oh that does it. You’re dying here satoru! Don’t run. Why are you running you piece of shit, get back here!!” And you spend the rest of the night trying to rip your best friend head off his body.

By the time you get back home, you’d managed to destroy Gojo’s phone and any evidence any of it ever happened.

“Are you ok my sweetheart? You’ve had an extremely trying day.” Kento asks as you both get into bed.

“No. I want to go to sleep and forget the last 24 hours happened.

“I completely understand. Get some sleep sweet girl.” And he tried to lean in and press a kiss to your lips.

Your hand stop him dead in his tracks.

“Too soon Kento, too soon.” And you turn your body away from him and try to fall to sleep. You hear him chuckle behind you and snuggle up to your back.

tags : @queenpiranhadon, @cashmoneyyysstuff, @tootiecakes234, @starieq, @sweetienans, @seonne, @lovelyiida, @lady-ashfade, @4evapika, @angels-fantasy, @2melamoo2 - check out their storybook event fics too!

#the storybook event #imagine #jjk au #Nanami x princess in the frog #princess and the from au #nanami kento x reader #kento #kento nanami x reader #nanami kento #kento x reader #kento nanami #jjk kento #kento x y/n #kento x you #jujutsu kento #gojo jjk #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo saturo

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lilahardell · 17 days ago

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FIRST LOVE ISN'T ALWAYS THE BEST LOVE

Hyunjin x reader

Part 1 :Leaving Home

The morning sun poured through the windows of the house, casting a warm glow over the packed suit.cases by the door. Y/n adjusted her scarf, glancing around the familiar living room one last time. Her mom bustled around her, not letting her sit still for even a second.

“Did you pack enough warm clothes? Korea can get chilly, especially this time of year,” her mom said, her voice brisk but warm.

“Yes, momm,” you replied, smiling softly. “I double-checked. I have sweaters, jackets, and even extra scarves. You made sure I did.”

Her mom ignored the response, already inspecting the contents of Y/n's carry-on. “Make sure you eat properly, okay? Don’t skip meals just because you’re busy. And call me. I don’t care how busy you are now, you’ll always be my little girl.”

Y/n laughed, hugging her mom. “I will, I promise. You know I’d never forget to call you.”

Her mom gave her a look, half skeptical, half fond. “Good. And don’t forget, never trust—”

“Strangers, yes. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine,” Y/n finished, cutting her off playfully.

A honk from outside broke their moment. Her mom peeked out the window and sighed. “He’s here. Poor boy. I think he’s more nervous about this trip than you are.”

Y/Ns heart tightened. She knew who was waiting for her—her best friend, the boy who had been her anchor through it all. The one she wasn’t supposed to fall for.

“Yeah,” she said quietly, grabbing the handle of her suitcase.

Her mom hugged her tightly. “Go show the world what you’ve got, Y/n I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, mom. I love you.”

With one last glance at her mom, Lilah opened the door and stepped out into the crisp morning air. He was leaning against the car, hands stuffed in his pockets, looking as effortlessly handsome as ever. His eyes softened when he saw her.

“Hey,” he said with a small smile.

“Hey,” she replied, her voice catching just slightly.

He opened the trunk and helped her load the suitcase. They didn’t need words; the air between them was charged with unspoken feelings.

The car ride to the airport was quieter than usual. Y/n glanced at him from the corner of her eye, taking in his profile—the way his jaw clenched, how his hands gripped the steering wheel a little tighter than usual.

“You’re really doing this,” he said finally, breaking the silence.

“Yeah,” she said softly. “It’s what I’ve always dreamed of.”

He nodded, his eyes fixed on the road. “You’re going to be amazing, Y/n. You know that, right?”

She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Thanks. That means a lot coming from you.”

When they pulled up to the airport, he parked and helped her unload her luggage. For a moment, they stood there, the bustling sounds of travelers and cars fading into the background.

“Well,” she said, trying to keep her tone light, “this is it.”

“Yeah,” he said, shoving his hands back into his pockets. “You’ll be great, Y/n Just don’t forget us little people when you’re a superstar, okay?”

She laughed, even as her chest ached. “Never. I could never forget you.”

Their eyes met, and for a brief second, everything they weren’t saying hung in the air between them. He stepped closer, his usual confident demeanor cracking just slightly.

“Take care of yourself, alright? And call me. Even if it’s just to complain about how hard things are over there.”

“I will,” she whispered. “You too. Don’t… don’t forget me.”

“Never, and keep calling me idiot" he said firmly, his voice barely audible over the noise around them.

He gave her a small smile, one that didn’t quite hide the sadness in his eyes, and stepped back. “Go. You’ve got a plane to catch.”

Y/m hesitated for a moment before throwing her arms around him. He hugged her back tightly, neither of them wanting to let go.

When they finally pulled apart, she grabbed her suitcase and walked toward the terminal. She glanced back one last time to see him standing there, his hands in his pockets, watching her with that same bittersweet smile.

And though neither of them said it, they both knew this goodbye was breaking their hearts.

Y/n stepped off the plane, her heart racing with a mix of excitement and nerves. The airport was bustling with energy, the sounds of announcements and conversations in Korean filling the air. She adjusted the strap of her carry-on and followed the crowd to baggage claim.

As she grabbed her suitcase and made her way outside, the cold Seoul air hit her cheeks. It was sharper than she had expected, but refreshing. A driver holding a sign with her name greeted her with a polite bow.

“Welcome to Korea, Miss Y/n” he said in perfect English. “I’ll take you to your dorm.”

“Thank you,” she replied with a smile, feeling both exhilarated and a little homesick.

The ride through Seoul was mesmerizing. Tall buildings, bright signs, and busy streets zipped past the car windows. Her nerves began to settle as she reminded herself why she was here: to chase her dreams.

The car pulled up in front of a sleek, modern building. Her new home. The driver helped her with her luggage, and she made her way to her assigned apartment.

When she opened the door, she was greeted by a warm voice.

“You must be Y/n!”

She looked up to see a tall, sweet-looking guy standing in the middle of the living room. He was wearing a cozy sweater and jeans, his smile wide and welcoming.

“Hi,” Y/n said, a little surprised. “Yeah, I’m Y/n. You must be… Yeonjun?”

“That’s me,” he said, offering his hand. “Your new roommate.”

Y/n shook his hand, noticing how warm it was despite the cold outside. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too. I’ve been looking forward to this. They told me I’d be sharing with a girl , but I didn’t expect a pretty one ” he said with a teasing grin.

Lilah laughed, feeling the tension in her shoulders ease. “Oh, trust me, I’m not as pretty as Korean girls ”

Yeonjun tilted his head, his smile turning softer. “Well, idk about that. Come on, let me help you with your bags.”

He grabbed her heavier suitcase before she could protest, carrying it effortlessly to her room. As they walked, he pointed out different areas of the apartment.

“That’s the kitchen. I’m not a great cook, but I’m decent at instant noodles. Living room’s over here. And your room is just down this hall.”

Y/n followed him, taking in the cozy vibe of the apartment. It was clean, well-lit, and had a small touch of personality, probably thanks to Yeonjun.

“So,” Yeonjun said as he placed her suitcase by the bed, “are you nervous?”

Y/n sighs, "yeah... It's a big change but.. I know it's meant for me.

Yeonjun leaned against the doorframe, his expression kind. “It is. But you’re not alone, okay? If you need anything—help navigating, translating, or just someone to talk to—I’m here.”

“Thanks,” she said, smiling. “That means a lot.”

Yeonjun grinned. “Good. Now, unpack and rest. We’ve got plenty of time to get to know each other. Welcome to Korea, Y/n".

And that is the ending of the first chapter !!!!! this is my first ever fanfiction and ik there's some problems with the diolouges but imma get better ,trust me! i hope you liked it ! and SLOW UPDATES cuz im still making the story .byeee!! call me WHATEVER YOU WANT .IM EVEN FINE WITH H

[1297 words]

#felix #hyunjin #original story #stray kids #fanfic #kpop boys #hyunjin x reader #kpop #kpop fanfic #skz x reader

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mercurytojupiter · 1 year ago

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the labyrinth - prologue

a/n: i'm going through an archie madekwe phase no one look at me

warnings: farleigh being farleigh, which includes underage drugs, drinking, cigarettes and sex 18+

fic summary: ariadne gavin and her childhood best friend turned enemy return to saltburn for the last time

Ariadne Gavin wishes she could say the first Catton she met was Felix or even Venetia. She would have loved to explain to people how she had tripped into Venetia at the airport when she first landed in England, or how she had been greeted by Felix's already tall, grinning face.

Instead, the truth was, the only reason the Cattons held their arms open to her as they did was because of Farleigh fucking Start.

Ariadne had met Farleigh when she was seven. Her father, Laurence Gavin, was a new money tech mogul who was making a name for himself selling computers. He had dragged her along to a fundraising gala, and it was there that Ariadne found herself forever enamoured with the Cattons.

Ariadne had never met another child before. Her upbringing was limited to her Nanny, Lilian, the house staff, Douglas, Marcus, and Tyrone, and her mother, Vienna. Ariadne had only even known that white people existed because of her storybooks.

"Hello," She whispers politely. "My name is Ariadne Marie Gavin."

"I'm Farleigh." The little boy shrugs.

Ariadne tilts her head. "How old are you?"

Farleigh looks at her strangely. "Seven and a half."

Ariadne pouts. "Oh. I'm just seven."

Farleigh's eyes widen in panic. "That's okay! Don't be upset! It's okay to be smaller than me! Normally I'm the smallest person."

"Youngest." Ariadne corrects.

"M'kay," Farleigh says, but makes no move to say the sentence correctly. He jumps down from his chair and squishes her cheeks. "Do you want to play hide and seek?"

"Won't the grown-ups be mad we're gone?"

"They never notice." Farleigh smiles.

That smile got Ariadne in more trouble than she could count over the next thirteen years.

At some point between seven and a half and fourteen, Farleigh stopped being her only friend. Or, more accurately, Farleigh began to make friends and it meant that Ariadne was going to be alone unless she made some of hers.

Or, that was, until Saltburn.

Ariadne didn't like the person Farleigh was becoming ever since they'd become teenagers. He'd been mean, and flaky, and worst of all, he kept hitting on her friends.

And yes, perhaps she was a little jealous, but she had always been territorial, and Farleigh was hers, not Ashley's or Jessica's. Besides, Farleigh grew like a beanstalk, and all her friends only liked him because he was tall. They didn't spend Sunday evenings conditioning his hair or laugh at his terrible -and slightly mean- jokes.

Overall, they had begun to drift a tad, but a crack was not a canyon, as her father liked to say.

But that didn't mean Farleigh wasn't still the only person her age she truly trusted, so he still came over to her house every Sunday to do homework and complain.

"Did I tell you my mom's family wants me to come to England over the summer?" He sighs, stretched out on her floor.

Ariadne has her nose tucked into her copy of Pride and Prejudice for her book report and looks up suddenly. "Excuse me?"

"I know, right? Like, why would I waste my summer-" Farleigh starts.

Ariadne shushes him. "Shut up, Far. Doesn't your mom's family pay for all your mom's shit? And yours, for that matter?"

"I mean, yeah, but they always said I'm out after eighteen." He shrugs.

Ariadne grins. "Because they don't know you. But if, say, you went to England in the summers, made connections with them, flashed some puppy dog eyes," she trails off.

Farleigh raises a brow. "You want me to go to them like some kind of homeless kid asking for spare change on Alameda Street?"

Ariadne kicks him. "No, I want you to use your brain. You're going to be my business partner once I inherit, obviously, but it's going to be obvious that we're only working together because we're friends if you don't at least have a college degree. Now, imagine, we get into some fancy British university, we network with like a billion people, and suddenly we have investors lining up at graduation."

"All it'll cost me is my pride." Farleigh grumbles.

Ariadne purses her lips. "Not if I come with. Then, it's just going to be us, two rich kids, going and being rich on a different continent over the summers."

Farleigh sits up. "I'm going to hate this, aren't I?"

"Not in the long run." Ariadne grins.

Ariadne wishes she'd never suggested going to Saltburn. She and Farleigh were one change in conversation away from escaping the Cattons and she'd never forgive herself for it.

Maybe it's the new money, manifest destiny, red-blooded American in her, but she never liked the look of Saltburn. She missed her modern, sleek home in Bel-Air, and from a single look, she knew Farleigh did too.

Saltburn was cold and ancient. There was no carpet, only million-year-old Persian rugs. No many-buttoned showers, only antiquated tubs. They didn't even have a bidet, which Ariadne thought was borderline uncivilized.

But they adjusted, slowly but surely, to the famous, trademark brand of Catton Madness that had sent his mother running for the hills all those years before.

Farleigh hadn't known that Felix and Venetia were their age, but they certainly were, and they were wilder and more English than anyone Ariadne had ever met.

She also found that they took to calling her demeaning, patronizing pet names like "Pet" or "Girlie." Farleigh got about the same treatment, only, in her opinion, worse, because there was no way to spin "Boy" or "Dog" as respectful.

Vee liked to call her "Newmo", short for "New Money" and Ariadne knew this was an insult, but bit her tongue.

She did that a lot, after Saltburn.

She starts at St. Mary Magdelene's Secondary Academy for Girls with Venetia that year, and Farleigh attends St. John's Secondary Academy for Boys with Felix. Twice a year, the adjoined schools have huge dances and dinners where they exercise their best manners.

The Gala is poorly chaperoned, as it is also the only time the faculty gets to mix and mingle. The dinner is mostly manner-based, but by the time the dance begins, most adults turn their heads away from the teenage drama and illegal activity.

When their first Fall Gala comes around, Ariadne looks around excitedly for Farleigh, peering through the crowd of white faces. She wants to tell him everything that's happened since they separated at the start of the school year.

Unfortunately, all she gets is Felix's stupid face. "Where's Farleigh?"

Felix rolls his eyes grinningly. "Smoking outside. Again."

Ariadne blinks, takes a step back, and laughs disbelievingly. Farleigh had gotten more rebellious since they'd become teenagers, sure, and maybe England was rubbing off on him, but he never smoked. "Are you kidding?"

Felix snickers. "He said you'd be pissed off."

That was another thing Ariadne hated about the Cattons. Everything was a fucking joke to them.

"No fucking shit!" She whisper-shouts. "He can't- He's going to ruin his lungs! This is my fault, I knew it was a bad idea for us to go to different schools!" She bites her lip, flicking her wrists in and out.

It was a terrible nervous tick. Lilian had always said it was unbecoming. Ariadne couldn't shake it.

Felix steadies her by the arms, charming doe eyes staring right into hers. "Farleigh will be fine, everyone smokes once in a while. Besides, he's finally letting loose, isn't that worth something?"

Ariadne wants to spit that it is not something, because Farleigh doesn't need to let loose, he needs more structure. He'd already been let loose his whole life and Ariadne had spent most of hers cleaning up the debris.

She doesn't yell at Felix, just shakes her head mutely.

"Well, maybe you need to let loose too. Vee's got weed or shrooms or something in the bathroom, go try that."

And, shockingly, Ariadne lets Felix lead her to the door of the Girl's bathroom, where a small puff of fogged-up air escapes.

"Have fun, Pet!"

He shoves her inside and lets the door swing closed.

Vee offers her a joint, grinning, and for the first time, Ariadne's thoughts cease.

After Ariadne is introduced to weed for the first time, she no longer worries about Farleigh. Still, the worst does not come until the Spring Gala, when she walks in on him losing his virginity to Arabella Vaillancourt.

All the jealousy she had felt in middle school hit a breaking point then. This wasn't flirting or even a kiss on the cheek. Arabella had claimed Farleigh in a way Ariadne would never be able to compensate for.

Ariadne turns her head away from the sight of them, sweating and naked and wholly consumed by each other and goes back to her dorm.

Vee sees her tears and offers her a line of coke, and from that point on, Ariadne and Farleigh are no longer friends or even allies.

When the summer break retrieves them again, she hardly looks at him in favour of making jokes with Venetia and walking Felix through the process of getting girls to like him. While Felix was pretty, most of the girls their age couldn't stand him because he was so boring to talk to. She pierces his eyebrow so he has something interesting to talk about. Felix is horrible at flirting, too. Not like Farleigh, she thinks, recalling the many girls he had wooed bitterly.

Soon, everyone at Saltburn forgets that Ariadne and Farleigh were ever even a pair. Or, in their respective cases, at least pretend to forget.

#saltburn smut #farleigh start x reader #farleigh start #farleigh start smut #farleigh saltburn #saltburn x reader #farleigh start x oc #farleigh start x original female character #farleigh start x black!oc #farleigh start x black!reader #black reader #poc!reader

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lolitakirstein · 7 months ago

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Hey Neighbor part 14

A/N Thank you all for the continued support as I have been on hiatus due to some mental health issues. it means the world. As a thanks I'm posting this quick chapter. it's short, but I hope it whets your appetite a bit as I get back into writing more regularly.

Leave a like on AO3

Chapter 14

“Are you sure you are alright?” Shiu repeats the question for the tenth time. And for the tenth time, you nod as you sit on your couch, nursing a glass of water he had offered you after you had come to.

Bits and pieces of what had led up to your collapse start to clear up in your mind: Connor coming to your house, seeming to wish to overpower you in some way with his words, Shiu aiming a gun at his head. Why Connor had come to your house, you still didn’t know.

Shiu registers the confusion on your face, that you are lost in thought, and attempts to reel you back to reality. “I got your voicemail. I’m sorry I didn’t answer. I was on my way to the airport with Toji and I—”

“Is he here? Is he ok?” you blurt out, hoping that somehow Toji was still within the area. Safe.

“He’s on a business trip, dear. But he’s fine,” Shiu assures.

You slump your shoulder, disappointed. You wish he were here. Both for protection and support. You wish it could go back to what is what before this stupid letter got passed to you. Oblivious to the double life Toji–and your grandmother– were living, enjoying his company and Megumi’s sweet voice greeting you—

“Where’s Megumi?!” you gasp. You have been so entangled with your drama and Toji that you forgot about Megumi. You don’t remember seeing him the night before when Toji had come by and you don’t remember seeing him in the car this morning with him and Shiu. Dread shivers down your spine along with guilt.

Shiu lifts a hand to settle you, “He is fine as well. Up at my estate within the community, doing his school work well, though he doesn’t like the other children there. Claims they aren’t fun and ‘clean’” He chuckles. “Living outside our network has turned him into a regular kid I guess.”

“You sound disappointed that he wants to be a normal kid,” you murmur.

“He wasn’t meant to be regular. He’s the son of one the most notorious assassins’ of the past 2 decades.” And there it was. That word: assassin . The deadly weight that comes with such a title causes you to cower more on the couch.

“So you want him to…” you refuse to finish the sentence. To connect that sweet, innocent boy with such a harsh word.

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Shiu huffs a breath, a defeated look on his face.

“What does Toji want?”

He sighs and drags a hand down his face. “Toji wants him to be an ordinary child with an ordinary childhood and ordinary ambitions.”

“So? Seems like a safe and happy childhood”

“He would be safer within the Society walls.” Shiu snaps.

“What the fuck is this society you all keep saying?” you snap back. “Are you running some sort of cult raising child killers?”

“The Society of Keres has been a home for some of the most infamous killers and spies in history. We are a family of honor and duty to carry on the bloodline.”

“Sounds like a cult.” you snark.

“We don’t rely on religion nor do we promise a glorious afterlife. It’s not something one can join or be recruited for. All of which a cult uses to amass its followers.”

“Where does Toji fit it there? And my grandmother?” you pause as a more daunting question bubbles up. “Where the fuck do I fit into all of this?”

Shiu shakes his head, sighing, then joins you on the couch. “Might take a while.”

“I got time.” Finally, some answers.

“In that case,” Shiu pops a cigarette into his mouth. “May I smoke?

10 cigarettes later, Shiu finally stubs out the last in his pack. The sun has fallen behind the trees, leaving the living room in a golden glow.

“So, my grandmother left the Society and they killed my parents in return? Why did they never tell me? My dad at least? Did my mom ever know?” you couldn’t stop the onslaught of new questions.

Shiu holds up his hands, signaling for you to slow down. “Your father ran away from the Society after he met your mother at 19. Both were desperate to run away from the Society. They escaped, hid, and had you. He sent letters to your grandmother and pictures. I assume it saddened her to be aging alone without her family. She fought to leave, attempting what she thought was a safer route and asking permission to resign, the high-ups warned her it was a betrayal, but she didn’t care.

“Your parents were a unique pair. Your father excelled at executions while your mother was intelligent and could hack the most sophisticated computers and infiltrate security cameras in record time. With those strengths, they were able to reenter and retrieve your grandmother. She hid well,” he looks around the house, then sighs. “Sadly, as time went on and better methods of locating people came in, she was found, and as you know, after leaving here on Christmas they..--”

You hold up your hand, “I get it.”

Not really. But the amount of information was becoming overwhelming. It all boiled down to 3 points.

Your parents had also belonged to this circus

Them along with your grandmother, escaped.

The death of your parents was in retaliation.

“Why didn’t they just kill her?” you ask.

“They sent someone to do it, but—” Shiu looks at his clasped hands. Waiting for a beat before continuing. “As he said, he couldn’t kill someone that was like his own mother. He himself had lost his parents young, basically orphaned. Your grandmother took him in, taught him—”

“Wow, what a fucking saint,” you clip sarcastically. “Don’t start trying to make me feel sympathy for some bloodthirsty piece of shit sent to my grandmother's doorstep.”

“That bloodthirsty piece of shit has been protecting you ever since you moved in,” Shiu shouts. The sound echoed through the room.

“Toji– he was,” you sputter as the realization finally hits you.

“Sent to kill your grandmother, yes.” he finishes.

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glittter-vamp · 2 years ago

Text

Ohio Is For Lovers | J.B

CHAPTER 15

Joe Burrow x Reader.

Warnings:18+ MDNI. Mention of Pregnancy. Angsty. Mention of Miscarriage. Alcohol. Raunchy jokes.

Word count: 4.7k

6 Months Later:

Getting your luggage at baggage claim in the sea of people at this busy airport, you make your way outside. The freezing cold winter weather smacks you in the face waking you up and sending shivers down your body. You had just flown into Cincinnati from Providence for the holidays. After what happened 6 months ago you got your shit together as quick as you could, stayed at your parents for a few weeks before you left to Providence and left your old life behind. You never found out who set fire to your apartment because the apartments surveillance system wasn't functioning properly and you also never found out who was behind the hit and run but you wanted to move on from that and you did, focusing on your new life in Rhode Island. Things had been going really well for, you loved your new Job, loved the new city and have met some pretty cool and nice people along the way.

You wait for a bit outside in the freezing cold weather, the crazy traffic and honking overstimulating you a bit but you finally spot the familiar car. "Hey bitch!!" Peyton yells and honks not caring about being annoying to those around you as he pulls up with Sasha riding shotgun. They both hop out of the car and hug you tight. "Oh I've missed you so much!!" Sasha says. "Me too bitch! Spending thanksgiving alone this year fucking sucked, I missed out wine and Chinese take out." Peyton says. "I missed you guys too and I told your ass I'd send you a ticket to come to me for that weekend!" You say to Peyton as you guys hop into the warm car, Peyton taking your luggage and putting it in the trunk. "Here, we got you some hot cocoa!" Sasha says passing it to you in the back. "You guys are the best, thanks." You smile taking a sip of the delicious chocolate and milk. "So, how was the plane ride?" Peyton asks as he gets us out of the crazy airport. "It was fine, lots of crying kids on board but thankfully I had my headphones." You nod.

"I hope your mom and dad aren't too upset you didn't go with them to Paris and decided to spend the holidays with us." Sasha says sipping on her own hot beverage. "Nah, my sister and her little family went, so they're enjoying that and have forgotten all about me by now." You shake your head. Your parents were yet another trip for the holidays, this time they invited you but you really didn't feel like traveling far for the holidays and skipped out on it, plus you were spending a lot of money on your new place. "Are you hungry? There's this new Mexican place in downtown where that Thai place was." Peyton asks. "I'm so down for some food, I haven't ate anything since last night." You agree. You guys talk about what you had been up to the last few days and end up at the Mexican restaurant sooner than you'd thought you'd be, which you knew was courtesy of Peyton's speeding. Walking into the restaurant it wasn't too busy, few people every other table.

After you guys get seated and given menu's Sasha speaks up. "So...meet anyone new?" She wiggles her eyebrows at you. "No, you know I told you I don't want to date anyone for a while." You sigh. "Okay well maybe not date but have you hooked up with anyone? What are the guys like over there?" Peyton grins. "I haven't hooked up with anyone but I have gone to a few gay bars over there and the guys are cute! You're going to have a great time when you go." You smile nodding. "You're hanging out with other gays out there!? Oh, I should of let your ass walk here, how dare you replace me." Peyton scoffs making you and Sasha laugh.

"What about you guys? Anyone you guys are hiding from me?" You ask looking at your two best friends, Peyton shaking is head no. "I've been out with this guy a few times from work...his name is Jason." Sasha smiles. "Oh yeah you mentioned him to me a couple weeks ago, you guys hooked up yet?" You ask and she blushes. "Yeahhhh!" You and Peyton laugh making her blush even more. "Okay... okay! Hush there's people around!" Sasha says getting embarrassed. You guys enjoy your dinner and then head over to their apartment. Sasha and Peyton had moved in together since the whole weird note situation and my place getting burned down. They thought it would be safer for the both of them since they both lived alone. The place was super cute, spacious and just outside of the downtown area with good security.

"So, what do you guys want to do tomorrow?" Sasha asks Peyton and I after we all shower and change into our pajamas. "Wellll, I kind of promised Tee and Ja'Marr I'd hang out with them before they leave for the holidays." You bite your lip. "Wait...you still talk to them?!" Peyton asks as he makes us some drinks from the bar they had near a window. "Yeah...they text me all the time before games and keep tabs on me. We have a group chat & they are always asking when I'm coming to a home game so I thought we can go to one tomorrow if that's okay with you guys." You say, your friends looking at you weird.

"You're not scared that they're telling Joe about what you're up to and how you're doing?" Peyton asks. "I don't... really care, What are they gonna tell him? That I'm doing good and I'm happy?" You shrug. "What about running into him tomorrow or having to see him?" Sasha asks. "I watch him every week on my tv and I have no issue ignoring him if I have too." You shrug. "Does he know his friends and teammates still talk to you?" Peyton asks. "Probably, Tee posted us on his story, it was a picture from when we volunteered last year, I don't really think they care much for Joe's opinion on this. After I basically told Joe to get out my life...the guys reached out and we had drinks one night before I left Ohio and they heard my point of view of things. They supported my decision, they knew Joe and I weren't compatible no matter how much we all wanted . " You shake you head taking the drink Peyton was making for you out of his hands.

"Do you... like either of them or something? Did you hook up with his teammates?" Sasha asks and you snort rolling your eyes. " Oh bitch, please tell me you did!" Peyton grins. "No! First off, one of them literally dated Mariana... no fucking thanks. Second, I am never ever getting involved with another professional athlete much less another football player that still plays with Joe and are really good friends with him. That's weird." You shake your head. "I mean, you could do the funniest thing ever and hook up with his teammates and kick Joe while he's been down, you know I like supporting women's rights but I also loveeeee supporting women's wrongs." Peyton smirks making Sasha laugh and you roll your eyes at him.

"Like I said, I'm not putting myself through that shit again. Once is enough." You shake your head taking a sip of the drink. "Can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer but I'm pretty intrigued to know." Sasha speaks up and you nod. "Do you miss Joe at all?" Sasha asks and Peyton rolls his eyes as her question. "Oh girl c'mon on, let's not ruin Y/N's night here." Peyton scoffs. "What?! It's a valid question! She almost had a baby with the guy! ad everything happened so quick!" Sasha defends herself making you laugh as you sit on their couch.

"I'll be honest, even though he did bring unnecessary drama in my life for a while and things were never perfect between, he was still a very comforting person for me so I miss that, I think that's why I stuck it out so long with him, things felt at ease when was around him...and maybe I miss the sex." You bite your lip making your friends chuckle. "That makes me sad that you guys ended the way you did and felt like this about him." Sasha pouts. "It is what it is, I'm sure he's moved on plenty since us." You shrug. "I heard he was dating a swimsuit model now, seems like he can't fathom being alone." Sasha snorts. "Can straight men ever?" Peyton laughs. "Good luck to her." You breathe shaking your head. You guys talk a bit more and enjoy your drinks while watching a Christmas movie before you all go to bed, you sleeping in their guest bedroom which was super cute and cozy.

************************

In the morning Peyton made you guys a delicious breakfast with French toast, eggs & bacon and you texted the group chat with the guys letting them know you were in town and if it was possible to get three tickets for tonight's game. Tee almost immediately texting back that he would get back to you as as he could about them.

"I say we go ice skating tomorrow." Sasha says as we sit around enjoying our breakfast. "I'm not that type of gay." Peyton says making you and Sasha laugh. "Oh come on! It'll be fun, maybe you can fall into the arms of a big strong guy." Sasha wiggles her eyebrows. "Girl, I'm 6 foot 5, I am the strong the guy?!" Peyton shakes his head making us laugh. We finish our food and as Sasha and I cleaned up since Peyton made breakfast, your phone dings. Drying your hands quickly on a towel nearby, you pick up the phone and see it was the guys, they had gotten tickets for you and your friends for tonight's game.

"The guys got the tickets." You say to your friends as you respond to the guys and thanking them for pulling some strings so last minute. "You know its supposed to be cold as shit tonight right guys?" Peyton says. "That's why whiskey exists!" You smile and he rolls his eyes. "Hey, you don't have to come if you don't want grandpa." Sasha says to Peyton. "Oh, I'm going! You bitches aren't leaving me behind." Peyton says leaving us in the kitchen in the sassiest manner making you laugh. "You need to have your revenge dress moment tonight." Sasha says to you as you start the dish washer. "What are you talking about?" You chuckle looking at her weird. "In case you run into Joe! Which I'm sure might happen, you need to look good to see what he could of had if he wasn't such a dumbass ad respected you." Sasha nods. "Girl, it's going to be like 15 degree's tonight. I'm gonna be warm, I really don't care about making Joe feel some type of way." You shake your head. "Ugh, have some fun will you!" Sasha scoffs making you laugh.

************************

It was afternoon now and you guys had just finished getting ready for the game. As always, you just wore whatever you wanted not really caring too much about team colors. You just wore mostly black layers, cozy boots and some thermal blue jeans wanting to stay as warm as you could tonight. "The uber is here!" Sasha says walking into the living room from her room. We all head out into the cold air and make our way to the car the SUV that was waiting for us. "Do you know who they're playing today?" Sasha asks me as we ride in the back of the car. "Not a damn clue." You shake your head. "Go sports!" Peyton says making you guys laugh. You guys make it to the stadium, happy that you guys left when you did because the place was super packed with people making it hard to find your seats after you got through security.

"I'm getting us drinks!" Peyton says to Sasha and I. You guys not and Peyton leaves to the concession stand which wasn't that far away. "This is exciting!" Sasha smiles. "Last time I was here, it was with Mariana and then Joe and I had fight in the locker room." You snort shaking your head. "Crazy how time flies." Sasha shakes her head. Soon Peyton returns with some strong drinks for everyone and you take a picture of you three posting it on your story. After a bit, the game eventually starts and pretty much you three just cheer when everyone else cheered. It was a bit a weird for you to see Joe playing on the field right now, you guys hadn't talked since the day at the hospital when you lost the baby.

You remember going out for those drinks with Ja'Marr and Tee and them trying to convince you to at least talk to Joe but you knew if you did in that moment, you probably wouldn't have left to Rhode Island and be where you are now. Part of you felt guilty for a bit after that, but it was really the only way for you to get out of every situation that had you unhappy plus, getting threatening notes and your apartment set on fire just wasn't something you wanted to stick around and play with to just attempt to be with Joe.

"I really... don't understand this fucking game, I'mmmm getting us more drinks." Peyton says making you laugh. "Get me vodka this time please!" Sasha says to him before he leaves us. "I don't know much about football but it seems like no one is having a good time out there, people keep getting hurt and they look so cold." Sasha says. "We are so undeserving of these tickets." You laugh shaking your head. All of a sudden you guys then spot Tee and Ja'Marr getting into it with some players of the opposing team on the field after a dirty hit on the field.

"What the hell is going on out there?" Peyton asks handing us drinks. " The other team is playing dirty and the guys aren't having it." You shrug. Taking a sip of the new drink, the game continues until half time. "We should get sushi after this!" Peyton says over the loud music that was playing, Sasha and I nodding in agreement.

You guys talk amongst yourselves and take plenty of pictures during halftime and before you knew it the guys were back on the field. They were pretty much neck in neck with the other team so this game could really still go either way. You spot Joe running on the field getting into position and instead of throwing the ball to one of his teammates he makes a run for it with the ball. "He's really... not that fast. Reminds me the rat from Ice Age with the acorn" Peyton says making your snort. "That's a squirrel not a rat!" You laugh as Joe runs with the ball almost making it to the end zone but out of no where this huge player from the other team tackles him, hard. The hit looked painful and it wasn't long before everyone spotted Joe holding his elbow in pain. "Oh fuck." You stand up feeling your heart sinking in your chest. "That doesn't look good." Sasha shakes her head standing next to you. "Are you fucking kidding me?! That was a baby hit!" You hear some guy behind you angrily yell to which you rolled your eyes at, as did many other fans around him.

Soon you heard the sea of people becoming disappointed and worried over Joe, the medics soon were on the field checking him out and every time they attempted to move his arm Joe would immediately wince in pain. "Oh baby... he's out. There's no way he's gonna keep playing." Peyton shakes his head. They get Joe up from the ground and he walks towards the tunnel looking extremely upset and in pain. The crowd cheers for him but even behind the cheers you could tell they were as upset as he was.

The energy in the stadium after that had did a complete 180. Luckily Joe's injury didn't cost them the game but people were still sad over what happened. As we were leaving two security guards approach us and you already knew the drill. " Y/N Y/L/N?" One of them asks me, Peyton already looking at them weird and getting defensive. "Yeah, let me guess. I gotta follow you." You raise an eyebrow at the man and he nods. "C'mon guys." You tell Sasha and Peyton who look at you weird. "It's the guys sending for us, we're not in trouble." You tell them and they nod still suspicious of this but still following you guys to the golf carts.

"This makes me feel like Beyoncé when she's backstage." Sasha says making you and Peyton look at each other and start laughing. "Humble yourself honey." Peyton snorts, Sasha flicking him off. You guys get taken the room you haven't seen since you had basically hated Joes guts. You all thank the guys and they let you know the drill with snacks and drinks. There was a few women in there probably waiting on their husband or boyfriend but you guys find a spot somewhere and sit down. "This is pretty cool." Sasha looks around. "They said anything was for grabs right?" Peyton says eyeing the snacks. "Go crazy." You chuckle as he gets up and heads over to the snack table.

"You think Joe is okay?" Sasha asks you. "Probably not." You shake your head. After a little while you hear two familiar voices call your name. Smiling you get up from your seat turning around seeing Tee and Ja'Marr. "Hey guys!!" You smile at them giving them each a hug. Sasha and Peyton greet them as well and you guys sit down at an empty table. "So how have you guys been?" Ja'Marr asks us. "Pretty good... Thanks for the tickets, that was quite the game." Sasha smiles. "No problem and yeah, this one's a tough one. Critical timing too since the play offs start very soon." Tee shakes his head. "At least you guys won though! Something good came out of it." You smile trying to lighten their mood. "Yeah but Joes out the rest of the season, he tore his UCL so if we were to make it to the Super Bowl... he can't even play. That's gonna fuck us up so much." Ja'Marr shakes his head. You couldn't help but to feel horrible for everyone especially Joe.

You all catch up for a bit, them asking you a billion questions about Rhode Island and asking if you'd ever return here to Ohio. Ja'Marr had asked you about Mariana, specifically if you've heard anything from her and you'd tell him no which was the truth. You didn't know exactly why he was asking but you didn't really want to ask. That was his business and you weren't getting into anything that had to do with her ever again. "I need to pee." Sasha says to you, Peyton nodding in agreement. "Bathrooms are over there to your right." Tee points. They thank him and they walk off leaving just you, Ja'Marr and Tee.

"So... have you talked to Joe at all?" Ja'Marr asks, both men looking at you for an answer. "No, I debated on reaching out a few times but I heard he was dating someone and I'm not getting into that type of drama again like that. Hell no." You shake your head. The guys look at each other for a moment and then bust out laughing which had you confused. "Dating who?! Dudes only focus has been football and stalking you on social media all these months." Tee laughs. "It was all over social media that he was dating some model & why or how would he be stalking my social media?" You ask confused since it was private. "That was just a stupid rumor started by some dumb gossip website and we've caught him on your Instagram a bunch of times. I think he has a fake profile which we've told him how weird that shit was by the way and his excuse was that he just wanted to make sure you were happy and safe." Ja'Marr shakes his head rolling his eyes.

"Did he leave already?" You ask. "Nah, he's in a medical room dealing with his emotions and shit. He doesn't wanna see anyone, he's going through it." Tee shakes his head with a disappointed look on his face. "Although... maybe he wouldn't mind seeing you." Ja'Marr smirks and your eyes open wide. "Hell no, no way." You shake your head. "No way what?" Sasha asks coming back to us, Peyton following her. "They want me to go talk to Joe." You shake your head. "Oh?" Peyton looks at you and you shake your head no. "He's down this hall to your left. C'mon guys, let's get some snacks and talk about how much Rhode Island sucks." Tee says to your friends and you scoff. "What? Guys! No—assholes." You mutter annoyed at them as they all ignore you and leave you standing out in the hall like an idiot.

Sighing you make your way to the door where Joe was behind, taking a deep breath before knocking and opening the door. Immediately you heard his voice. "Get out." He says in a very monotone way. You peek your head in and see he was laying down on a stretcher facing up in a dimly lit room with his good arm draped over his face. "I guess I deserve that attitude." You nod closing the door behind you. Your stomach flip flopping from nervousness. Joe freezes and peeks under his arm towards you.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" Joe asks slowly sitting up. His injured arm in a sling. "I'm in town for the holidays and the guys gave me tickets to the game tonight." You awkwardly say stuffing you hands in your back pockets. He looked like he had been crying. "Of course they did." Joe scoffs. "I know I'm the last person you wanna see right now or ever but I just wanted to check up on you." You bite your lip awkwardly. "Yeah right, like you give a shit about what happens to me." He scoffs, it sucked hearing those words come from his mouth but you couldn't blame him, you weren't the nicest to him the last time you saw him. Plus, he was upset cause of his injury which is understandable.

"I know I shouldn't have bothered you but I just wanted to apologize on how I left things... and your injury tonight...but I'll uh, leave you be." You nod reaching for the door again awkwardly. "Wait!" You hear Joe say before you could even touch the door. "I...shouldn't have snapped at you like that, I'm sorry. I'm...I'm not even mad at you." He shakes his head as he sits looking down at his dangling feet. He was still in half of his uniform and even though he was a grown ass man well over 6 foot, he looked so small to you in this moment. "You don't have to lie, I know the way I handled things was beyond fucked up." You sigh leaning against the door. "Honestly, you had every right. I was being a stupid jackass, my parents knocked some sense into me after I came clean with everything. You put up with too much shit with me and I was worried too much about myself and not enough about you. I'm surprised you didn't come fined me and ran me over with your car" Joe admits. "Well...to be fair I didn't have one at the time so, maybe that worked in your favor." You tease making him chuckle.

"Maybe it was just a classic case of right people, wrong time." You shrug. "You really think we could of been right for each other if things weren't so fucked up around us and I wouldn't have fucked up most of it?" Joe asks. "I'd like to think so, we pretty much ignored every red flag between and around us Joe... I think that ultimately fucked everything up because we choose to ignore and ignore." You say, Joe nodding. "How's Rhode Island?" Joe asks and you snort. "You should know...the guys told me about your Instagram stalking." You tease seeing Joe's freeze and his face turn a light shade of pink. "Fucking assholes." Joe mutters shaking his head making you chuckle. "I didn't mean to be weird, I just still feel paranoid about your safety with everything that happened. M=Ja'marr thinks Mariana was behind everything, he found some weird folder with information about us two...I think she was going to try and blackmail us if news hit about the affair she was having on Ja'Marr. She's disappeared. We think she left Ohio." Joe fills you in and you scoff. "That fucking crazy bitch." You shake your head.

"Things are pretty good, I like the city, co workers are pretty cool." You nod changing the subject. "I'm really happy to hear that." Joe says giving you a small smile. Before you could reply there was a knock on the door followed by the voice of a man you didn't recognize. "Burrow, your parents are looking for you dude, pack it up, get some rest." The guy says. "I should... get back to everyone, I'm sure they're hungry and waiting on me." You say to Joe and he nods looking sad. "I'm really sorry I couldn't be the man you deserved Y/N, I kill myself over it everyday." Joe says somberly. "People aren't perfect Joe, don't beat yourself up over it, but I really do hope you recover as quickly and good as possible. I would tell you to not be too hard on yourself while you recover but I might as well talk to a brick wall for that." You joke making Joe chuckle. "Take care of yourself and you should come to more games, helps motivate the guys." Joe says glossy eyes which almost triggered your own emotions that you were pushing down. " I will take it under consideration, take care of yourself." You smile at him before leaving the room and letting out a deep breath trying to control your emotions before you meet everyone up again.

**************************************************

A month later:

The holidays came and went. You spent time with your best friends and you were now back in Rhode Island in your home. Winter had officially struck the north east as it was snowing today. Cuddled up on your couch with the fire place on and a glass of wine in your hand you were on facetime with your friends. "So, when are you coming back?" Peyton asks you. "Uh! no Sir, it's time you guys come to me. We can do something this summer...I just finished the guest bedrooms and we can hit all the bars out here, maybe even drive to Boston for a weekend." You suggest. "I'm down for some Boston cheeks." Peyton smirks making Sasha roll her eyes and you laugh. "Did you spend the homegoods gift card we got you for Christmas?" Sasha asks changing the subject. "I did! I got stuff for the guest bathroom and a few holiday clearance stuff for next Christmas." You nod. You talk more with your friends about what you guys had planned for the next few weeks until your doorbell rang. It was 7PM on a snowy Friday night and you weren't expecting anyone over. "Uh oh booty call! We'll let you go so you can have your fun." Peyton winks. "It's probably my neighbors stupid doordash again, she keeps putting my door number for some reason, but I'll talk to you guys later." You sigh getting up. You hang up your phone tossing it on the couch and setting down your wine glass on your side table. You go to your door opening just a bit expecting some poor delivery driver in this snow but you almost choke on your own spit when you saw who it was. "Wh-what are you doing here?" You stand there frozen in place.

"I'm... done ignoring." Joe responds.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I know I said this last chapter was coming Sunday but I couldn't wait that long lol Ohio Is For Lovers has officially wrapped up and I just want to thank you guys sosososososo much for reading and supporting this series. I haven't written a series in years and the love and support you guys have shown me has meant soooo much! If you haven't checked it out already I have been working on a new Joe Burrow series called Cherry Waves, so check that out if you'd like and if it's not for you I plan on doing a small holiday series in November. Thanks again for the support 🖤🖤🖤

#joe burrow imagine #joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow fanfiction #joe burrow fic #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow x you #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow series

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babymetaldoll · 2 years ago

Text

Baby, I'm yours - Chapter eight: “What if I’m someone I don’t want around?”

Warning: Angst, sadness, swearing, Spencer crying and reader is brokenhearted. Sorry.

Summary: A few days before the wedding, reader discovers something Spencer had been hiding from her. And she doesn't feel like she can trust him again.

Word count: 11,9K

A/N: I'm sorry... but... seriously, did you think I had forgotten about Spencer's mistake?

Series Masterlist | General Masterlist | Prequel’s Masterlist

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Spencer’s point of view

(Y/N) and I had successfully avoided JJ for an entire week. She had been pretty busy with her profiler course and case rotation. We had been busy freaking out with our wedding. Everything was ready and signed, but somehow our friends and family were making sure to keep up stressed and nervous about every single detail of the big day. Our vacation started in four days, our wedding was in twelve, and I still found it hard to believe (Y/N) actually wanted to marry me. But believe me, I wasn’t going to argue with her about it.

- “Just a few more days”- (Y/N) whispered as we held hands in the elevator- “Are you excited about our honeymoon?”

- “I am excited about being married to you, the trip is just a bonus”- she smiled and blushed as the elevator’s door opened in the BAU and immediately we were greeted by JJ and Emily’s voices as they walked our way.

- “Hotch says he's never seen a rookie profiler analyze and write up cases as well as you.”- Prentiss said, clearly to Jennifer.

- “He said that?”- and she acted surprised.

- “Oh shit”- (Y/N) whispered and I held her hand even tighter- “I don’t even want her at the wedding anymore.”

- “I know, chipmunk.”- I started walking faster and dragged (Y/N) with me the second Prentiss and Jennifer showed up by our side.

- “Hey, where have you guys been? I wanted to do brunch this weekend.”- JJ said as soon as we bumped into each other in the hall, but I continued walking and simply ignored her, as I heard (Y/N) reply.

- “We had to deal with some stuff about the wedding. Have you seen Garcia?”

- “Uh, she's with Rossi.”- Jennifer answered and stayed behind as we ran away from her as fast as possible. No, we weren’t being subtle about our anger. But if you asked us back then, we weren’t even trying to be.

- “Suddenly, four more days sound like an eternity”- (Y/N) murmured as we left our things at our desks and I simply shook my head.

- “You’ve got this, chipmunk, trust me. Next Monday we are going to be at home, having coffee on our own.”

- “In a week we are going to be picking up your mom and aunt Ethel from the airport”- I chuckled and shook my head- “But I get the point, just a few more days of this.”

Yes, we were not acting very maturely, I was aware of that. But we were mad and hurt and neither of us wanted to be the bigger man or woman. You get the point. It didn’t help that when we shared the whole story with Frank, Lu, and Mikey, they all supported us. No one should lie to a friend the way JJ lied to us. End of the story.

We had a case

- “I am having a Fellini festival at my house this weekend and I must serve the beautiful food of his country.”- Penelope was talking about food with Rossi, but I didn’t register much of what was being said around the table. I kept reading the book I had started that morning, doing my best to avoid eye contact with JJ, who sat right across the table from us.

- “Maybe you should show a Disney film and stick with burgers.”- Rossi replied and (Y/N) giggled. I held her hand underneath the table and played with her fingers for a minute, enjoying the soothing feeling of her presence.

- “You know, Rossi, you could always give Penelope a cooking lesson.”- I heard Morgan suggesting.

- “Oh, my gosh, that would be amazing. That would be like… that would be like the Iron Chef meets the BAU. And we could do it at your house!”- Garcia was way too excited about it already.

- “I don't have a house. I have a mansion.”- Rossi corrected her, and (Y/N) chuckled at those words.

- “All right, let's get started.”- Hotch’s voice made me leave the book on the table and I immediately glued my eyes on the screen ahead of us. Garcia stood up and started presenting the one that was meant to be the last case (Y/N) and I worked on before our wedding. Somehow, it felt exciting. It was also the first case with JJ officially as a profiler, which wasn’t exciting at all. It meant she was going to be out in the field with us and that only meant having to talk to her.

- “All right. Mes amis, you are jetting to Durant, Oklahoma, because in the last three days, two women have been found dead after being sexually tortured and then blinded with a sulfuric acid solution. Abby Elcott is our first victim, a 19-year-old art student. She was heading to campus for an advanced drawing class. She'd been missing for two days. The same goes for our second victim, Beth Westerly, 17. She had just finished her coffee shop shift and was on her way to a bar method class.”- Pen explained and nearly didn't breathe during her speech.

- “Both low-risk victims.”- Emily pointed out.

- “And obviously physically similar.”- (Y/N) added, considering both girls were young, tall, thin, and with long blonde hair.

- “How close are the two abduction sites?”- Rossi asked and Penelope showed them on the map on the screen.

- “Five miles apart at bus stops. Abby's cell was found near one, Beth's scarf near the other.”

- “Where were the dump sites?”- I asked and she quickly showed me.

- “One in an alley, the other in a field.”

- “So he stapled their eyes open, then he blinded them?”- JJ pointed out and turned to me, maybe waiting for my thoughts or reply. She didn’t get any. Instead, I focused my eyes on the paper and Morgan quickly started talking.

- “It's about power and control. Maybe he didn't want them to watch while he hurt 'em.”

- “Or it could be about shame.”- (Y/N) added and I quickly nodded.

- “Yes, ma cherié. Perhaps the unsub has disfigured himself. Blinding the victims leaves them helpless, lost, and totally dependent. Maybe a manifestation of how he sees himself in this world.”

I never refer to (Y/N) as "cherié" when we are working. Never. It hasn’t slipped in a briefing meeting before, and that day, I did it on purpose. Hotch turned to me and raised an eyebrow just as Emily nodded and continued with my point.

- “It is a form of enucleation, just without the scalpel.”

- “Exactly. His face is the last they see before darkness.”- (Y/N) added and looked at Emily as Hotch grabbed his notes and stood up.

- “Garcia, come up with a list of jobs that would give the UnSub access to sulfuric acid. The rest of us, wheels up in 30 minutes.”

- “We are not being subtle”- (Y/N) whispered as we sat side by side on the couch in the yet. That was our favorite spot when we wanted to be apart from the rest of the team.

- “Do we want to?”

- “No, but I was starting to enjoy not being scolded by Hotch after Ashley’s departure”- I held her hand and kissed it.

- “Four more days”- she nodded with a grin and sighed.

- “It’ll surely be weird not working for an entire month”

- “Oh, are you guys talking about your honeymoon?”- JJ showed up with Emily and I immediately grabbed a book. If it wasn’t work-related, I really didn’t want to talk to JJ.

- “Yes.”- (Y/N) simply replied and stayed quiet.

- “When do you leave?”- JJ asked her and kept looking at her

- “The day after the wedding.”

- “Which is your first stop?”

- “London. I’m gonna make us some tea before we take off.”- my fianceé said and stood up, running away from JJ. I focused on the book and didn’t move a muscle until I was sure JJ and Emily were no longer around me. I wasn’t holding anything against Prentiss, it was JJ the one I blamed, 100% for lying and never comforting (Y/N) or myself during our darkest days.

- “The victimology is very similar. Blonde-haired, blue-eyed teenage girls.”- Hotch started analyzing what we knew so far about the case. He sat by our side and went through the photos. (Y/N) and I kept taking notes as the rest of the team talked.

- “We believe they were each abducted near public transportation stops.”- JJ said and neither of us looked at her.

- “When was this photo taken?”- Prentiss asked and (Y/N) quickly answered.

- “Beth was caught on a bank surveillance camera three hours before she disappeared. That's a recent photo of Abby.”

- “So she wasn't found in the same clothes she was abducted in.”- Em showed us another picture in another outfit.

- “Maybe he changed them because hers were burned by the sulfuric acid.”- Rossi suggested and I answered.

- “It's possible. Sulfuric acid can turn human flesh into soap.”

- “Garcia, any recent similar cases in the surrounding area?”- Hotch asked.

- “Actually, yes. Two months ago, a prostitute and a runaway were both found raped and killed, and they had stab wounds to their eyes.”

- “So maybe he practiced on high-risk victims first.”- JJ pointed out the obvious, again.

- “And then advanced to chemical enucleation.”- Morgan added

- “Isn't that a rare paraphilia?”- JJ asked, and looked at me waiting for an answer. She didn’t get it. Instead, Emily replied.

- “Well, the chemical part is. It would exacerbate the pain.”

- “Like Ed Kemper”- Rossi said- “He's probably practicing on surrogates before going after the real object of his rage.”

- “Dave, you and I will talk to the parents. Morgan and Prentiss, go to the disposal sites. JJ, you (Y/L/N) and Reid to the abduction sites.”- Hotch divided chores and I quickly resumed my reading. (Y/N) shared with me her notes and we started talking about a possible geographical profile.

This wasn’t going to end well, I knew it. I was too mad at JJ to work with her, and (Y/N) was too mad at her as well to stop me.

(Y/N)’s point of view

Of course, Hotch would pair us with JJ that day. It was clear there was something off and he wanted us to work through our differences. Such a dad move. Spencer drove us in silence, all we ever talked about was the case. JJ tried to make small talk but neither of us replied much. As soon as we got to the first abduction site, Spencer walked fast and took a look around.

- “So, Beth got off the bus here and headed northwest toward class.”- Spencer said and looked at me.

- “Yes, she was on time which means she didn’t have much time to stop and chat with random people. Our unsub was fast.”- I added and followed him.

- “It's amazing no one witnessed her abduction.”- JJ said and Spencer’s answer was faster than mine.

- “Emily was buried six feet under and wound up in Paris, so I guess anything is possible, right?”

- “So that is what this is about.”- JJ replied, confirming what was obvious.

- “You know, maybe our unsub is a little bit like Bundy and he feigned an injury in order to get her to help him.”- I started talking and didn’t let Jeniffer continue with whatever it is that she wanted to say.

- “Spence, (Y/N), if you want to talk about…”- we both turned our backs to her and continued looking around like we had lost anything in those few blocks. We had in fact lost something: our trust in JJ.

- “Chipmunk, maybe he tried another tactic and was like, "Wow, you're really pretty. You should be a model. I can take your photo."

- “That’s a very common technique to get a girl’s attention, hon. But we have no proof of anything, just speculation.”

- “I'll take that as a no.”- JJ mumbled and tried to follow us.

- “Either one would disarm her.”- Spencer looked at me and I nodded.

- “Charm's quite the killer.”- JJ suggested and crossed her arms on her chest. I turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

- “So are tears.”- and the look in her eyes was both filled with pain and anger. Good, I wanted her to be mad at me the way I was mad at her.

- “Whatever his ruse was, the unsub most likely used it to get her into his vehicle.”- Spencer landed a hand on my shoulder and made me turn to him with a nod.

- “Well, if Abby was last seen at a bus stop a few miles away, then he definitely has means of transportation.”- JJ waited for us to reply, but we didn’t. Instead, Spencer held my hand and started walking me back to the van.

- “Hopefully, the disposal site will tell us more.”

I know I was being mean to my friend, but that friend had lied to me and my future husband right on our faces for months, mocking our pain. I didn’t even want to be in the same car as her that day, less having to pretend everything was ok.

Rossi was talking with the police when we got to the nearest disposal site. Spencer parked and I literally ran out of the van, to put as much distance between me and JJ as possible.

- “Again he’s disposing in an area frequented by homeless people.”- Rossi explained to us as we walked through a bunch of police force and forensics.

- “It's equidistant to the last two dump sites.”- Spencer pointed out. I kneeled down and took a look at the corpse. It was burned with what seemed to be acid around her face.

- “He burned her tongue with the chemical this time.”- JJ said, stealing the words from me.

- “So he removed her ability to taste.”- Rossi frowned and looked at the victim, trying to understand.

- “Why would he do that?”- one of the cops asked and Spencer immediately started explaining.

- “Historically, this kind of torture was used to prevent someone from revealing a secret.”

- “Can you imagine this was normal behavior?”- I asked and kept my eyes on the corps- “The number of people there would be walking around with their mouths burned with acid…”- I could feel JJ’s eyes on me as I spoke, but refused to look at her the entire time.

- “Maybe she offended him.”- the detective suggested.

- “I wonder what that's like.”- Spencer quickly replied. Yes, we were brats. And I still regret nothing.

- “Her lips are extremely chapped.”- Rossi’s words forced us to re-focus on the case.

- “Probably she was forced to repeatedly participate in some sort of kissing fantasy.”- I suggested and JJ decided it was a great moment to start talking again and basically just point out the obvious.

- “And when things go awry, he takes the offending sense away.”

- “He tortured her in these clothes, which means the eighties are essential to his delusion.”- Spencer ignored her and continued analyzing the victim’s outfit.

- “Yes, I would say that's when this rejection occurred and he held on to the clothes all these years.”- I added and looked at my fiance as he nodded at me in agreement.

- “And now he's attacking girls who remind him of women from that time.”- JJ concluded with an obvious opinion. Spencer just looked at me and said

- “He's fixated on her type and remake them fit his fantasy.”

- “But why start now?”- the detective asked. JJ made a pause and looked at us.

- “Something probably triggered it, and instead of dealing with it, he's acting out.”

Spencer and I looked at her at the same time. I raised an eyebrow as she stared at me, almost defiant.

- “Great analysis, Jennifer. Thank you for sharing.”- I replied as I felt Spencer’s hand in mine, crawling me away from the scene.

- “Four days is way too much time.”- I argued as I closed the SUV door and sighed. Spencer got behind the wheel and started driving us away from the crime scene in less than a minute.

- “I know, my cheriè. Just focus on the case, we have to solve this and go back home.”

- “Can’t we just elope, get married in Vegas, and leave for our honeymoon right now?”- I closed my eyes and rested my head on the seat. Spencer held my hand as he drove, and caressed my skin carefully with his long fingers.

- “You deserve way better than just eloping, chipmunk. You deserve the whole world and the perfect wedding.”- his words were sweet in contrast with the cruel reality we were dealing with.

- “The only thing I care about is getting married to you. The rest ain’t that important, as long as I have you.”- I opened my eyes and stared at him. He looked at me for a moment and continued driving. His cheeks were blushed and his eyes were teary. My sweet fiance never took compliments well, and I knew it. Still, I had to tell him how I felt, though it was still somehow nerve-wracking.

Yes, Spencer still made me feel nervous. The butterflies in my stomach were always crazy when I was around him.

- “So, how are we going to deal with JJ these days?”- I asked him and he hummed.

- “We should just try to stay away from her and don’t speak to her about anything that’s not case related.”

- “Easier said than done”- I mumbled.

- “I know, but what other choice do we have?”- I thought about it and sighed.

- “I’m still not sure I want her at the wedding.”

- “Me neither, chipmunk. Trust me.”

When we arrived at the station, Rossi and JJ were already there. Spencer and I had taken a detour to get iced coffee on our way back. It only took us five more minutes, but I could see on Hotch’s face he was already upset with us. That was not what I needed at the moment, but we were already deep into the mess.

Hotch didn’t say a word to us, instead, he gathered the police force and asked us to release the profile of the unsub. I could use some work to focus on, instead of my anger. So I stood up in front of the entire police department and started talking.

- “We believe the unsub, or unknown subject, that we're looking for is a white male in his 40s. This is someone who's reacting to rejection by a woman when he was a teenager in the 1980s. He's punishing his victims for their reactions to him by taking away their senses with sulfuric acid.”

- “We believe our unsub could possibly work part-time as a janitor or a mechanic, which would give him access to this chemical.”- Rossi added as I turned to Spencer and he smiled at me, nodding.

- “And after studying the disposal sites, we think it's likely that he is homeless.”- Morgan continued- “Now, how do we typically react toward the homeless? We judge them by their looks and smells. It's that same negative reaction we believe that a woman had toward the unsub at some point in the eighties.”

- “The unsub's fixation on this woman is now all-consuming.”- Prentiss started explaining- “It's caused him to develop obsessive love disorder. He most likely has tunnel vision and believes that she holds the key to his happiness. He will stalk her in an attempt to win her back.”

- “He will do whatever it takes to be near his love interest.”- I added -“But her rejection will spiral him into a depression.”

- “Which would lead to rape and murder of the surrogates who represent her.”- Spencer finally spoke and I nodded at his words immediately- “And it's only a matter of time before this rage and anger cause the unsub to go after her directly.”

Police exited the room after a few minutes. Hotch looked at me and nodded in what I figured was the approval of my presentation delivering the profile, and I thought things might actually be a little better. But JJ had other plans. She cornered Spencer in the briefing room and from what I could notice, she had started pushing him to talk about the whole issue. I quickly walked over and looked at her, crossing my arms on my chest, and looking seriously into her eyes.

- “What do you want Jennifer?”- I asked and she widened her eyes, surprised by my tone, I guess.

- “(Y/N), Spence. We gotta talk about this.”

- “I told you, we don't want to talk about it.”- Spencer answered and kept gathering some papers from the table. I started helping so he could finish quickly and get the fuck out of there.

- “I get it, ok? You're disappointed with the way we handled Emily.”

- “Listen, we have a lot going on, all right?”- Spencer didn’t even look at her, he kept his eyes on the files and folders as he tried to leave the room with me, but JJ stopped him.

- “You know what I think it is?”- her voice was suddenly defiant. Spencer stood in front of her and raised an eyebrow waiting for her speech.

- “What?”

- “You're mad that Hotch and I controlled our micro-expressions at the hospital and you weren't able to detect our deception.”- she said to my soon-to-be husband- “And you are mad ‘cos Hotch trusted me with the secret instead of you”- she added, staring at me. I opened my mouth to start cursing her, my hands shaking with anger. But Spencer stopped me. He held my hand and stood in front of me, basically shielding me from JJ’s bullshit.

- “You think it's about my profiling skills? That you just hurt our ego?”- and that bitch simply shrugged- “Jennifer, listen, the only reason you were able to manage my perceptions is because I trusted you.”

- “Spence…”- she tried to explain, but I took a step closer to her and held onto my boyfriend’s hand tight.

- “You really don’t know us if you think what you hurt is as mundane as our pride. I don’t care if Hotch wants you to know all his secrets. Under any other circumstances, I would have been happy for you. But not now, not like this, not after you laughed at us.”

- “Laughed?! (Y/N), when did I laugh at you?”- JJ was mad and hurt, her voice was shaky as she tried to defend herself.

- “We came to your house for 10 weeks in a row crying over losing a friend, and not once did you have the decency to tell us the truth.”- Spencer spat each word as JJ stared at us making her best to keep her shit together.

- “I couldn't!”

- “You couldn't? Or you wouldn't?”- I questioned her and she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

- “No, I couldn't, (Y/N).”

- “What if I started taking Dilaudid again? Would you have let me?”- Spencer questioned her and the thought of him getting back into drugs slapped me all of a sudden. Yes, I had considered that option, but Reid never gave me any sign he might actually fall back into old habits.

- “You didn't.”

- “Yeah, but I thought about it.”- Spencer held my hand tight and started walking out of the room with me.

- “Spence!”- JJ begged, as tears started falling down her eyes. But my boyfriend didn’t even flinch. He looked at her and shrugged, annoyed, and started walking away again.

- “I’m so sorry”- JJ whispered, looking at me.

- “It’s too late for that, alright?”- I answered, shaking my head, and followed Spencer on his way out of the station.

- “Spence, (Y/N)”- I heard Prentiss calling our names and I turned to look at her. She was puzzled and probably feeling guilty. But we held nothing against her. It was all JJ. She was our problem.

- “We are gonna get in trouble with Hotch after that”- I said as I sat on the front steps of the station. Spencer stood in front of me, arms crossed on his chest as he continued walking back and forth.

- “I’m sorry, chipmunk.”

- “Why are you apologizing for?”

- “I think I might have pushed it a little too far against JJ”- I shook my head and sighed. I wanted to ask but I was afraid of the answer. But I figured I had to do it just as a band-aid. Quick and painless.

- “You didn’t actually think about taking Dilaudid again, right?”- my question was meant to be an affirmation, but it sounded so insecure and shaky, that I embarrassed myself. I looked at my hands as I asked and waited for Spencer’s answer. He sighed and looked at me, walking to me and kneeling in front of me.

- “Of course not, chipmunk. I would never do that to you.”- I sighed relieved and smiled at him, feeling his lips on mine as his hands cupped my face carefully.

- “Thank god. I don’t think I could ever go through that again.”- I admitted as he rubbed his lips against mine. I kept my eyes closed, enjoying the sensation and the warmth of his touch- “I just love you too much. It would kill me to see you in so much pain one more time.”

- “Don’t worry, ma cherie. That’s never gonna happen.”- he whispered and kissed me again. This time embracing me with a passion and love he didn’t usually share during working hours. His tongue parted my lips and explored my mouth sweetly, tasting every inch. I let out a soft moan, and that just encouraged him. His hands moved from my cheeks to my waist, pulling me against his body, making me feel loved and cared for. And by the way, he was holding me so tight, anyone would say Spencer was afraid I was going to escape.

- “Come on, cool off”- I managed to whisper, still feeling him rubbing his lips against mine- “We are still at work. And already in trouble with our boss, I am afraid.”

- “I’m so sorry”- he mumbled and sighed, kissing my lips one more time before moving from me and starting to pace in front of me.

- “We should try to solve this case so we can go home and… share rooms again.”- I said and winked, trying to cheer him up.

- “Are you really going to marry me?”- Spencer asked all of a sudden. I raised an eyebrow as I stared at his sweet chocolate eyes, staring at me, waiting for an honest answer. Where did all that insecurity come from?

- “Not only will I marry you, I am also going to be with you until death do us part.”

Spencer’s point of view

I didn’t only feel like scum, but I was also terrified. Why did I have to mention Dilaudid in front of (Y/N)? Why was I so emotional and careless to say the one word that could bring this whole relationship to an end? I just wanted to hurt JJ, I know. But I was irresponsible. I was stupid. And the worst part was knowing I had no time to think about it. I had to solve a case first and pretend everything was ok later. I didn’t want (Y/N) to worry or see through me, read my insecurities and my truth.

I did what I did best, I hid at work and dragged (Y/N) along with me, to keep her from thinking about me and Dilaudid ever again. We started talking about the case, went through all the information we had, and decided we might have made a mistake in our profile. We might have overlooked one detail that could change the unsub we were looking for dramatically.

- “I don’t wanna go in there after the scene we made”- my girlfriend whispered as soon as we stepped into the police station. The team was gathered in a meeting room and I knew she wasn’t ready to deal with the consequences of my outburst. But we had to work.

- “I’m here chipmunk. Nothing is gonna happen. You know that right?”- I whispered and cut her a warm smile, trying to reassure her I was going to protect her. I would, I wanted to. I needed to know I was able to keep her safe from any harm. She nodded as my thumbs carefully caressed her cheeks for a moment. I knew that wasn’t the correct behavior, but honestly, I didn’t care anymore. Nothing was ever going to stop me from protecting (Y/N).

We walked into the meeting room as if nothing had happened earlier and I simply started talking.

- “I don't think we're dealing with a typical homeless person.”- and just like that, the entire team looked at me- “He's good with chemicals, and owns a car. I think the only mistake in our profile was assuming there was something wrong with his physical composition, reducing him to some sort of stereotype.”

- “You think it's only his mental state?”- Rossi questioned.

- “I think this guy might be smart enough to use his disability to his advantage so he comes across as harmless.”

- “And then, when he's alone and the victim rejects him, he goes off.”- (Y/N) added, crossing her arms on her chest, trying not to show how uncomfortable she felt.

- “What if he doesn't live on the street? What if he's in a halfway house?”- JJ asked and I kept my eyes on Hotch. He just grabbed his phone and dialed.

- “Garcia, I need a list of halfway houses and mental health centers in the unsub's comfort zone.”

- “Ok. Five are being sent to your phones.”- we all heard Penelope announcing.

- “Which of those were around in the eighties, Garcia?”- (Y/N) asked.

- “There are two in your area, munchkin.”

- “Morgan and Prentiss, take the first.”- Hotch announced- “Dave and I will take the second.”

- “What about us?”- JJ asked the obvious question and I unconsciously landed a hand on (Y/N)’s back, trying to comfort her.

- “Stay here and check ViCAP for similar M. O.s and signatures.”- everyone stepped out of the room, including (Y/N), who walked to the desk where she had left all the folders. And just as I started following her, Hotch called me.

- “Reid.”- I knew what this was about, and I was glad he was talking to me and not with her. She really didn’t have to be scolded this time- “If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me.”

I hesitated for a second, trying not to look him in the eyes ‘cos it was still something very hard for me to deal with. I was mad at my friend, not at my boss. And no matter how close Aaron was with us, he wasn’t technically my friend. He was closer to a father figure than anything else.

- “I can't. I didn't come to your house crying for ten weeks.”- that was the only explanation I could give him, ‘cos it was my truth.

The following morning we had a missing girl and still no suspect. (Y/N) hadn’t mentioned Dilaudid again and I was praying for the word to simply vanish from her vocabulary. I had made my best to keep her focused on the case and on the wedding. But it was challenging at the moment, ‘cos Hotch had decided to pair me with Rossi and leave her on the station with JJ. And no matter how much I begged him, he didn’t change his mind.

- “So kids spill out of the motel toward the cars. If Tammy walked this way, how could she disappear without anyone seeing her?”- Rossi said as we walked out of one of the rooms and analyzed the whole perimeter.

- “Someone would have heard her scream.”- I answered, taking a look around, trying to picture the entire place filled with teenagers.

- “That's if she screamed. Unlike the last three abduction sites, this one is nowhere near public transportation. Maybe she knew the unsub.”

- “Or thought she did.”- I ramble and catch a glimpse of empathy in Rossi's eyes- “What if Tammy was the target all along? That would explain the change in the M. O.”

- “So whoever did this knew she was coming here.”

- “I’m gonna call Hotch”- I grabbed my phone and quickly dialed. I also wanted to call (Y/N) and ask her if she was ok alone at the police station with JJ. But I couldn’t. After I hung up with Hotch, Rossi grabbed my arm and stopped me.

- “Kid, after Prentiss came back things have been hard on the entire team, not just you.”- suddenly I knew exactly where that was going, and I didn’t appreciate it one bit.

- “Rossi, thank you, but I don’t wanna talk about this right now.”

- “I’m just trying to tell you you are not the only one who feels betrayed. But you can’t just be mad at JJ for doing her job.”

- “Her job? So her job was to lie to us, even when she saw us at our lowest for weeks?”- I was doing my best not to raise my voice, but I knew I was failing at that task. I really was running low on patience that day and I didn’t want to continue talking about the same subject.

- “This was bigger than just sharing information, kid.”- Rossi stood in front of me and looked straight into my eyes, something I wanted to avoid by all means- “This was about keeping Prentiss alive, and Hotch knew that.”

- “But that secret nearly killed us.”- I argued back and looked down at my shoes- “(Y/N) was in deep grief, and for a minute I thought I was going to lose my sanity. This hit us hard, and JJ saw us, she was there, and she didn’t do anything.”

- “Only because she couldn’t! Not because she didn’t care about you.”

- “I don’t even care about me anymore, it’s the hurt on (Y/N) that bothers me the most. I don’t ever wanna see her crying like she did when we thought Emily was dead.”- I started walking back to the car.

- “You can’t keep her from pain, Reid. That’s just life. But as her husband you can support her and love her through the rough times.”- Rossi followed me and got into the SUV- “And maybe helping her forgive JJ and leaving this whole deal behind might be the right thing to do.”

I looked at David knowing there was nothing I could ever say that might help him understand how I felt. So I decided not to argue with him anymore and just leave the whole deal alone. I simply nodded and grabbed my phone as it hummed, letting me know I had a new text.

- “I’ve got a cupcake with your name on it”- I read and smiled.

- “I know the feeling, Reid”- Rossi said after a few minutes of driving in silence- “How it feels like when your blood boils in anger when you see someone hurting the woman you love.”- I looked out of the window and sighed. I really didn’t want to continue with the lecture.

Lucky for me, Morgan called and told us there was a suspect. We finally got a name. And two garages he worked on. In two hours, we had the unsub at the station, and Prentiss and Morgan were on their way with the police to get the latest victim, luckily alive. It was her own uncle who kidnapped and tortured her. Rossi was right, it was someone she knew.

By the end of the day, we were on the jet, on our way back home. (Y/N) was asleep on the couch by my side, and I entertained myself with a few books before we landed. Anything to keep me from thinking, or from talking with JJ.

- “So, the surgeon said he believes he can restore feeling to Tammy's hands.”- Emily whispered as she sat in front of me suddenly. I kept my eyes on the book and simply replied.

- “Good. We got there in time.”

- “I heard Mr. Bradstone wants to watch the tape.”- she continued talking, not getting the hint I wasn’t in the mood for a conversation. I still felt guilty about it though. There she was, alive and well, and I still didn’t feel like having a conversation with her despite the fact I had missed her for over ten weeks.

- “People have an innate curiosity to see things in order to confirm them.”- I replied and turned the page of my book.

- “Oh, that explains why I'm going to Rossi's tomorrow night. I want to see if he really can cook. You guys coming?”- she sounded so happy, so excited to spend time with us. So alive, if that makes any logical sense.

- “I don't know. I'm not so sure we can make it. We still have some things about the wedding we have to take care of”- I lied between my teeth knowing she would see through my deceit in a second.

- “Look, Reid, I know you're mad at us because we didn't tell you what really happened, and I understand that. But I promise you, we had no choice.”- she made a long pause and I felt her eyes on me, so I looked at her for a second, feeling my heart tighten into my chest. I wasn’t mad at her, I was glad she was there, alive and trying to preach to me. It was hard not to smile at her.

- “You mourned the loss of a friend. I mourned the loss of 6.”- I opened my mouth, but not a word came out of it. (Y/N) moved on her seat and I turned to her, afraid we might have woken her up. But no, she was still out.

- “This whole thing gave me an ulcer. Please don't give me another one. Are you gonna go to Rossi's tomorrow?”

- “We'll see.”- I whispered, knowing she had a point. I was still mad at JJ, but I knew I had to leave it behind for the sake of our mental health, and the team.

- “Also, I need to throw a bachelorette party for your future wife, so please don’t let her be mad at me any longer. I miss her.”- Prentiss whispered as she stood up and walked away. I looked at (Y/N) and sighed. All I wanted was to see her happy. Would forgiving JJ help her smile again?

Wednesday night I drove us to Rossi’s after a long talk. We didn’t want to be the ones causing trouble in the team, though I knew it was going to take more than just a cooking class for us. We were mad at JJ and a part of the trust had been broken. But (Y/N) had made a point after we discussed it.

- “We’ve been through a lot in the last six years. I don’t wanna let this argument get the best of us. And arguing with JJ is exhausting.”

I agreed with her only because I wanted to see her happy. I was still upset with the whole deal, but if she was ready to put it behind us, then so it should be.

Still, it was weird driving over to Rossi’s after everything we had done that week. I knew we hadn’t been nice or even mature dealing with the whole deal, and clearly, we were going to have to work on an apology for the team in the close future.

- “Reids! You made it!”- Morgan opened the front door and smiled at us - “Come in, we were just getting started.”- I closed the door behind our back and walked to the kitchen, where Rossi held a pan with what seemed to be onion and pancetta.

- “We can still turn around and leave”- I whispered and felt (Y/N)’s hand squeezing mine.

- “Let’s just endure it and when we are back home, maybe I will reward you, daddy.”- she murmured in my ear and giggled.

- “Hands where I can see them”- Morgan teased and (Y/N) giggled.

- “Sorry we are late”- I waved and took a look at the team. JJ turned to us and smiled shyly, almost scared we were going to snap at her… as we had done for the last week. I cut her an awkward smile and stood by the kitchen aisle, next to (Y/N).

- “Are we drinking already?”- she asked as Rossi put two glasses of red wine in front of us.

- “He hasn’t let us even sip it!”- Garcia complained immediately.

- “Yes, when do we get to drink the wine?”- Emily asked.

- “Almost there”- Rossi answered, still fully focused on the pan- “Ok, we start at the beginning. You eat what you cook, I'll supervise, but we're gonna do this all together, just like a family.”

- “Ok now?”- JJ asked raising her glass of wine

- “Now.”- Rossi grabbed his glass and raised it. We all followed him, saying cheers.

- “Do we all really have to cook?”- Emily asked leaving her glass on the table a few seconds later.

- “Yes, we do.”- David replied and raised an eyebrow.

- “Come on, zombie Prentiss, you don’t even have to chop the onion!”- (Y/N) argued, making me chuckle at the nickname.

- “Did you just call me a zombie?”- Emily widened her eyes.

- “Weren’t you dead a few days ago?”- (Y/N) replied with an adorable smile.

- “You are so lucky I love you, (Y/N).”- Prentiss added and hugged my girlfriend carefully.

- “Rumor says around the BAU that you wanted to throw me a bachelorette party.”- Emily’s face lightened up with those words.

- “I do! We do! Are you serious?! Can we all?”- I looked at Garcia and JJ and the two of them seemed to be both excited and nervous about the answer.

- “Of course, you can! I was counting on it! You and Lu are my only girlfriends ever!! You are basically my entire bridesmaid's squad!”

- “Did you hear that, pretty boy? Your lady is going out with her friends”- Morgan sipped his wine and looked at me raising an eyebrow- “That means we have to schedule your bachelor party as well.”

- “And don’t forget to invite Mikey and Frank!”- (Y/N) added looking at our friend.-“They would go bonkers if they miss a stripper party.”

- “Are you gonna let him go?”- Morgan asked her, almost shocked.

- “Why wouldn’t I? He is not gonna cheat with a stripper, most likely, he will try not to even touch one because of the number of germs they might have.”- I shook my head and sipped my glass of wine as everybody around us laughed. My girlfriend was right, one more time.

- “Alright kids, let’s cook!”- Rossi commanded and guided us to the stove. (Y/N) turned to me and smiled. She seemed happy, and that was all that mattered at that minute to me.

(Y/N)’s point of view

Around ten, after we cooked and enjoyed dinner, Rossi invited us out to his patio for a drink. I was excited to have a glass of his favorite scotch, ‘cos damn! that thing was good!

- “If Spencer asks, can you tell him I went out for a second to pick something from the car?”- I asked Penelope, who was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend was currently helping Rossi with the booze, and I didn’t want him to get worried.

It was a cold night and I had forgotten to bring my jacket inside the house. I wasn’t even sure I had brought one along, but I knew I had some of Spencer’s in the trunk of the car ‘cos I has planned to have them dry clean before our honeymoon.

I opened the trunk and went through some of the bags we had there. I knew I had to take a minute of my day to clean the back of that car, but days were crazy at that point in life, and I didn’t have enough time. I just grabbed one of Spencer’s jackets (one of my favorites) and put it on. I knew he wasn’t going to get mad at me ‘cos he loved to see me in his clothes. Besides, I loved wearing anything of his, ‘cos it felt like he was hugging me the entire time.

I rushed back inside the house and closed the door behind my back. I could hear our friend’s laughter from the backyard and made my way over quickly, chilling. I put my hands inside the pockets as I walked faster, seeing Spencer waiting for me, standing next to my seat, holding a glass of scotch.

But in a second, I stopped. I felt something inside the pocket. My hand grabbed a small bottle. I took it and simply looked at it as my entire world crumbled in a second. It was Dilaudid. A whole bottle of that shit, hidden in my boyfriend’s jacket.

I held it, as tears filled my eyes. I felt my breath leave my lungs, as everything I thought was real turned into a bunch of lies. Spencer had Dilaudid this entire time. I was about to marry a liar, and clearly, a drug addict.

- “(Y/N)?”- he called out my name as he stared at me from the other side of the room. I kept my eyes glued to the bottle for a few minutes before I turned to him. He was pale, in shock and petrified I knew his secret.

- “(Y/N), wait!”- I heard him beg as I turned around and ran out of Rossi’s. I ran as fast as I could until I made it to the car and started it.

- “(Y/N)! Please stop!! Let me explain!!”- Spencer yelled and tapped on the window of the car before I started the engine and drove away as fast as I could, leaving him screaming behind.

No, I didn’t want his explanations, I didn’t want to hear anything from him. I wanted to get away from that fucking liar as fast as possible.

He got drugs. He was using again. All that shit he kept saying about him never lying to me was nothing but bullshit. My hands were shaking as I drove with no destination. I didn’t want to go back to our apartment. I didn’t want to go anywhere he could find me. I wanted to disappear and get away from Spencer Reid.

I had never felt like that before. Not even once. I guess I had never felt betrayed by him before.

I tried to find my cell phone or my purse, but as I rushed out, I left them at Rossi’s. It was a good thing in a way, at least Spencer wasn’t going to call me. So I just drove and cried for a good hour, trying to put as much distance as possible between us. I didn’t even have the keys to our apartment, but I didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to go anywhere, I just wanted to disappear. I didn’t have a wallet or my ID either. Not even my badge… but at that minute all I could think of was Spencer using Dilaudid and fooling me about it. Since when? Where was he using? After I slept? During cases?

And why did he relapse? It just wasn’t fair! Was it because of Emily’s dead? Maybe what he had said to JJ that week wasn’t a lie and he had gotten drugs to avoid thinking about Prentiss and simply numb himself.

How couldn’t he just trust me? Tell me he was feeling weak? I would have helped him, I would have given my life for him! How could he just betray me like that? He claimed to love me more than anyone else on earth, but how was he doing such a thing behind my back?

- “I hate you!!”- I yelled, sobbing as I hit the wheel.

I drove over two hours without a destination. In silence. I swear I couldn’t even think straight. I couldn’t hold a thought in my head. I mostly just sobbed and cursed. I knew I wasn’t going to go home that night, and I couldn’t just crush Penelope’s or Prentiss’. Spencer would definitely look for me at Frank’s, Lu’s, and Mikey’s. So I turned to the one person I didn’t want to be with during those circumstances, most of all because I didn’t want to explain anything and she was going to ask too many questions.

- “Baby, what are you doing here so late?”- mom opened the front door and stared at me in shock. My chin just quivered and I started crying again- “Oh my god! What happened? Are you hurt?”- she opened her arms and held me tight.

- “Can I stay here tonight?”

- “Of course, baby! Come on inside! You are shaking! Let me make you some tea.”

- “Can you make it a scotch?”- mom didn’t argue, she just nodded as she closed the door behind our back.

- “What happened?”- I followed her to the kitchen and sat at the aisle, watching her pouring a glass of scotch for me and one for her.

- “Spencer and I had an argument and I don’t wanna see him right now.”

- “Why? Oh my god! Did he cheat? ‘Cos if he did, I’m gonna kill him!”- I shook my head as I stared at mom’s face turning red with anger in a second.

- “No, but he lied and I found out the hard way. It’s… I don’t wanna talk about it, mom.”- Sofia just walked to me and hugged me. I had to bite my lips not to continue crying.

- “My baby, and a week before the wedding. There isn’t a worse time for an argument than this.”

The wedding. I had forgotten. But I couldn’t think of that at that minute. I was too upset to collect my thoughts and be rational. I just wanted to drink and forget at that minute.

Of course, I wasn’t going to be able to do either of those things, ‘cos the bell rang, and then someone knocked at the door frantically. I knew I had hidden the car in the garage, if Spencer was there looking for me, he couldn’t know I was in fact in the house.

- “That’s him. I am not here”- I said to my mom and grabbed my glass, running upstairs. Mom sighed and walked to the door. I hid upstairs and closed my eyes, in a futile effort to turn invisible, I think.

- “Spencer! What happened? You scared me! Is there something wrong? Is my daughter ok?”

- “Sofia, I am sorry to bother you so late at night, but… have you seen (Y/N)?”

- “No, I haven’t seen her in days. Why? What happened? Is everything ok?”- I have to give kudos to my mom, she is an excellent actress. I was sure she was fooling Spencer.

- “We… we just had a small argument and she ran off. I am worried ‘cos she left her cell phone and her keys and I don’t know where she is.”

- “I am so sorry to hear that Spencer, but if it was a small argument, I am sure she will reconsider and come back home very soon.”

- “If she comes over, would you please tell her to come home? I need to talk to her and explain how things happened. I don’t want her to make any rushed decision.”- Spencer begged, and my heart kept breaking with every word. A part of me wanted to hold him, and an even bigger part of me wanted to smack the shit out of him. Fucking liar.

- “I will if I see her. But you know, Spencer, my daughter doesn’t usually turn to me for help. Did you try at Frank’s, Lu or Mikey’s? Maybe they have seen her.”- mom’s voice was smooth and confident. Best performance of her life.

- “I did… now they are mad at me too.”- Spencer mumbled- “Well… if you know anything…”

- “I will definitely call you.”

- “Thank you, Sofia.”

Mom closed the door and I finished what was left in my glass in one shot. After a few minutes, when I heard him closing his car door, I stood up and walked downstairs.

- “He seemed honestly concerned, honey. He wasn’t pretending.”

- “I know”- I whispered as I walked into the kitchen and poured myself another drink- “I’m not saying he is a bad person, I’m saying he fucked up way too much for me to just simply forgive him. I don’t even wanna see him right now.”

- “But if he didn’t cheat, what did he do?”

I opened y mouth and no word came out. Did I want to tell my mom the truth about Spencer?

- “He still lied about something very serious, mom. Please don’t ask me all the details now.”

- “Fine, I’m not gonna push you. But you know you can trust me, right peanut?”- mom held my hand and I nodded. I knew we didn’t have the best relationship, but I knew she loved me.

- “Thank you.”

- “Now let’s try to get some sleep, you still need to go to work tomorrow and deal with this mess.”

I groaned at the thought of getting up early and going to work, mostly ‘cos it meant being with Spencer and seeing the rest of the team. I was sure they had a lot of questions too.

My room was a time capsule. Mom always kept my and my brother’s rooms clean and almost ready for us to come back. I didn’t want to deal with that sign of her denial at the minute, I had too much on my plate by then. I sat on my bed and looked at the posters on the wall. That was the last place I pictured myself a week before my wedding. That was another thing I didn’t want to think about: The wedding. How could I marry a man I didn’t trust anymore?

I lay on my old bed and stared at the ceiling. There were still some glow-in-the-dark star stickers up there. I remembered the day we got them at the mall, and Mikey helped me put them on the ceiling, ‘cos he was way taller than me at the time (and still is).

- “Hello?”- thinking about Mikey made me want to talk to him- “Nugget?”

- “Yeah, hey.”

- “What happened? Doc showed up here a while ago, asking if I had seen you…”

- “We fought.”- I whispered.

- “Figured.”- my friend sighed as I just laid on my bed, in silence- “So you are at your mom’s.”

- “Yeah, calling from my old room, old telephone… if things go wrong I can always choke myself with the cord.”

- “Loving your positivity, girl. What happened?”- I sighed and thought about my words before I answered, I knew I could trust Mikey, I just… I don’t know. It hurt too much to think about what had just happened, I guess.

- “He lied.”

- “Did he cheat?”- I chuckled thinking that would, of course, be the worst scenario for everybody.

- “Not technically. But he did lie about… remember when I helped him detox a million years ago?”

- “Yeah…”- Mikey made a pause and gasped- “He started using again?!”- I don’t know why I nodded if he couldn’t see me- “Did you see him getting high? Was he violent?”

- “No. I found a bottle of Dilaudid in his jacket.”

- “Shit.”

- “Yeah.”- I took a deep breath and made the biggest effort to keep my tears back. I didn’t want to cry “in front” of Mikey or of anyone as a matter of fact.

- “I’m gonna kill him.”

- “Not if I kill him first. And as far as I remember, I’m the one carrying a gun.”- I could feel my friend’s hesitation through the line. Was I serious or was I kidding? Not even I knew.

- “Nugget… did he give you any explanation? Did he even try to justify his actions?”

- “I refused to talk to him. I was too mad. He didn’t tell me felt that bad. He never hinted he might start using again, and just a few days ago he denied getting drugs or even thinking about using again. There is nothing to explain. He is a drug addict and a liar. And I don’t wanna know what he has to say.”

- “I can’t believe he is doing this to you. He loves you so much.”

- “Well, apparently, he loves that fucking needles more than he loves me.”- I didn’t want to believe my own words, but honestly, at that point, they seemed to be true.

- “Wanna come over tomorrow? Frank and Lu could come too, we can talk this through, try to…”

- “Thanks. I am not really sure I wanna see anyone right now.”

- “That’s why I said tomorrow, nugget. Not today.”- I kept my eyes glued to the ceiling for a moment, not saying a word. Mikey sighed again and probably rolled in bed.

- “Remember when we got those glow-in-the-dark star stickers for my ceiling?”

- “Yeah, we were twelve or something. Why do you ask?”

- “You and Frank made fun of me and Lu and said these things were gonna fall in an hour, and they are still there.”

- “So? I will start trusting industrial glue from now on.”

- “They lasted more than my relationship with Reid.”

- “Don’t say that, (Y/N). Don’t. Not until he explains what actually happened.”

- “What? Are you on his side now? Did he melt you with his useless explanations when he stopped by your place?”

- “No. I’m just saying don’t make any decision just yet. Not until you talk to him.”

- “I don’t wanna talk to him.”

- “You are mad today, but tomorrow you’ll see things much clearer.”

- “I’m not so sure about that, Mikey. I’ll talk to you tomorrow and I’ll let you know.”

- “If you don’t call me in the morning, I’m gonna stop by your work at lunch.”

- “You haven’t done such a thing ever since I started working at the BAU. Why should I believe you?”

- “I dunno. To surprise you?”

- “Good night Mikey.”

- “Don’t make any rushed decision, nugget. Spencer loves you.”

- “So what if he does? He lied, got drugs, and didn’t tell me how he felt. What kind of love is that?”

- “He is only human, (Y/N). You can’t ask him to be perfect. He is gonna fuck up, but he can redeem himself, can he?”

Honestly, I didn’t know if he could. You see, lying is one thing, but lying and using drugs after promising me you were never going to do it again, that’s a completely different thing.

- “Good night Mikey.”

Spencer’s point of view

The second I saw (Y/N) walk into the house with that damn jacket, I knew what was gonna happen. It all hit me quite fast. My mistake. The fact I had actually forgotten I had gotten that shit was my first and biggest mistake. Why didn’t I get rid of it when I could? How could I forget I had it around? Hidden. I should have known I couldn’t hide anything from her. Why did I even try?

- “(Y/N)?”- the look in her eyes was brokenhearted as she stared at me from the other side of the room. Not a single word left her lips. She was struggling not to cry, and I was starting to panic.

- “(Y/N), wait!”- I begged and started walking toward her as she turned her back to me and basically scaped out of the house.

- “(Y/N)! Please stop!! Let me explain!!”- I ran after her and watched her get into her car. Her eyes were filled with tears as she started the engine and drove away from me, leaving me alone, with all my explanations.

- “Spencer? What the hell happened?”- Penelope showed up as I started sobbing, my lips quivering as I made my best not to cry, ‘cos I honestly didn’t want to give our friends any kind of explanation about what had just happened.

- “I need to go.”- I mumbled and turned back into the house to get our things.

- “Spencer!”- Garcia yelled and followed me closely.- “What the hell happened? Why did (Y/N) run away so fast?”

- “Kid?”- Morgan was waiting at the door, but I didn’t reply to him either. I just gathered all of our things, turned to Rossi, and nodded.

- “I’m sorry, but I have to go. Thank you for everything, David.”

- “Reid.”- Hotch stopped me and walked me to the door.- “Is (Y/N) ok?”

- “I… I don’t know.”

- “Is everything ok between you two?”

- “I honestly don’t know.”- I didn’t want to answer any of those questions, but after such a scene, it felt necessary, I guess- “I’m sorry about all this. I have to go”- Hotch didn’t say another word, he just nodded as I ran out of the house, desperately searching for a cab.

- “Shit, shit, shit”- I walked down the street, carrying (Y/N)’s purse, looking for a taxi. I wanted to call her, ask where she was, stop her angst, and tell her I hadn’t used a drop of drug ever since she helped me rehab four years ago.

She wasn’t going to talk to me after this, I knew her. She was going to close emotionally, and honestly, so would I after that massive fuck up. I knew I had broken her heart. I had ruined her trust. And I didn’t know how to fix that. Just a few days ago she had told me she knew she wouldn’t be able to deal with me using drugs again, and now she just found drugs in my pocket. Why am I so stupid?! How could I let this happen? Why did I have to be so stupid to get that fucking bottle of Dilaudid?

A cab finally appeared and I basically jumped into the back seat.

- “Where to, chief?’”

- “1333 Connecticut Ave.”

I gave the driver Frank’s address, which was closest (technically) but also was the one person (Y/N) would turn to first in case of trouble. But… she knew I knew that which meant she wasn’t going to go there first. I groaned and held my head with both hands as I tried to think clearly. I could do it for a case, I could do it with any other problem in life. But when it came to (Y/N), I just couldn’t do it.

I was desperate. I felt I was running out of oxygen. I wish I didn’t know her so well because I had clear how screwed I was. Of all the things on earth I could ask (Y/N) for forgiveness, I knew drugs were a topic she would never be merciful with. She hated me, of that I was sure. I hated myself so at least we agreed on something.

- “Here we are”- the driver announced, but I was already halfway out of the cab, I threw him a twenty and ran to Frank’s door. I pushed his apartment ring so many times, I was afraid I had broken it.

- “What the fuck?!”

- “Frank! Sorry! It’s Spencer!”

- “Doc! Come on up!”- he opened the door for me and I ran the four floors to his door. Halfway up I realized it was obvious (Y/N) wasn’t there: Frank opened the door. He would have never done it if he knew what I had done.

- “Is everything ok? Is (Y/N) ok? Where is she?”- Frank stood by the opened door and looked at me with terror in his eyes. I don’t know what I looked like, running frantically inside his apartment and searching around for my fiance.

- “I am looking for her! Have you seen her? Is she here?”- I tried to breathe, but it was honestly getting harder every second. Frank closed the door confused and walked to me, holding both my shoulders and staring at me.

- “What the fuck are you talking about, doc? Where is (Y/N)?”

- “I don’t know where she is. We… we had a fight and she ran away.”- my friend frowned and stayed still for a second, processing all the information.

- “What? You two had an argument? Why? What did you do?”- it was very sweet of him to assume I had done wrong. He was also very right.

- "She… we… I had..."

- "Frank?"- I heard a female voice coming from his room and my heart skipped a beat. I let him go and ran over, opening the door just to find… a naked girl in his bed.

- "(Y/N)!! Shit! Sorry!"- the poor girl covered herself and screamed as I quickly turned around, bumping into Frank- "I'm sorry I didn't know you had a friend over."

- "What the fuck are you doing, Reid?! Where is (Y/N)? What the fuck did you do to her?"- Frank shouted in my face as I tried to focus.

- "She is mad at me and won't let me explain anything. She just ran off after…"- I looked at his closed bedroom door but still felt uncomfortable talking about that issue so close to a stranger. So I walked back to the living room knowing Frank would follow me.

- "A few years ago I was abducted and my captor forced me to use Dilaudid. After that, I was hooked for a few months until (Y/N) helped me detox. I've been going to NA meetings every month ever since and I haven't relapsed. But…"

I paused and looked at him, he didn't look surprised at all, he only looked mad.

- "Did she ever tell you?"

- "What the fuck did you do Spencer?"- his voice was closer to a growl at that minute, and his eyes were still deep in anger.

- "Nothing!! I swear!! She thinks I relapsed 'cos she found a bottle of Dilaudid in my jacket! But I didn't!! I could never do that to her!"

- "Then why did you have it?! Did it magically appear in your pocket?!”- Frank lost it again and yelled at me. I flinched and couldn't even open my mouth to reply.

I know anyone could think Frank’s reaction was out of proportion. But it wasn’t. You see, (Y/N) was his best friend on earth and he loved her like a little sister. And I had hurt his little sister. If you ask me, I was fucked.

- “Look, I know I ruined things with her, but for a small fragment of time after Prentiss’s death, I thought I needed it. I didn’t! I never used it! I should have gotten rid of it!”

- “You shouldn’t have fucking got it in the first time, Spencer!!”- Frank really looked like he was about to smack me.

- “I know! I know! And now she thinks I’m probably using it again! And she will want to cancel the wedding and dump me! And it’s all my fault!”- Frank shook his head and walked to the kitchen.

I followed him waiting for his yells. Maybe he could punch me. I was even looking forward to it, I deserved all the pain he was willing to make me feel. I could take anything, except (Y/N)’s rejection.

But no. Instead, he got me a beer and one from himself. He opened it, sat by the aisle, and moved a chair for me.

- “You are an asshole.”

- “I know! But I don’t have time for a beer and some advice! I need to find her!”

- “Dude, you won’t find her tonight. And trust me, you don’t wanna talk to her right now. You need to wait until her anger soothes a little… if that’s even possible considering how deep into shit you are right now.”

I stared at him and grabbed the beer, sipping it and almost drinking half of it. Frank raised an eyebrow and sighed.

- “Neither Mikey nor Lu had called me yet, which means she is not there either.”

- “I don’t care, I’m going anyway.”- I don’t know why I acted like a brat, but in my defense, I was desperate and I wasn’t thinking straight.

- “Doc, you fucked it up. You have to plan your apology instead of running around town like a headless chicken!”

- “She is gonna cancel the wedding!”- I yelled and jumped from the chair, feeling the walls closing in.

- “If you talk to her tonight she might!”- Frank lit a cigarette and nodded- “Think Spencer! You’ve known her for so long, use all your (Y/N) intel to figure out how to fix this instead of acting with your guts!”

- “I don’t have time to think! She is gonna… I just need to hold her.”- I bit my lips as I paced across that kitchen, feeling impotent and useless- “I know I have a wealth of knowledge about her I could be applying to find her and apologize effectively. But right now, I can’t focus on anything for longer than three seconds at a time, which makes me the dumbest person in this room.”

- “Jeez, thanks”- Frank chuckled and stood up to wrap an arm around my shoulders, as I inevitably broke down in tears.

- “I love her so much it hurts. And I need to find her so I can explain to her I would never do anything that might hurt her,”

- “Doc, getting that bottle hurt her. She is out there thinking you picked drugs over her.”

Yes, I knew it was stupid of me to say “I would never hurt her” when I had just done that exact thing. But trust me, I wasn’t myself that night.

I sobbed against Frank’s shoulder as he hugged me in silence for a few minutes.

- “47.450”- I whispered as wiped off my tears with my jacket and started walking around the kitchen again.

- “What are you talking about Doc?”

- “47.450 is the number of hours I’ve spent with her ever since I met her. One hour without her and I feel I’m losing my mind. Please help me.”- he stared at me not knowing what to say- “Help me find her.”

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