#that man lived for two things: spite and thinking ab his ex

[doobydoobydoowau]

niclays they could never make me hate you

[opes-magnas]

those two days.

A wise man once said, ”The bad news is, nothing lasts forever and the good news is, nothing lasts forever.”

That’s freaking bullshit. Whoever told that hasn’t gone through the amount of trauma I’ve been through, which made every single moment feel like an eternity. Oh wait! I should’ve explained it more graphically.

Every single second felt like I was being skinned alive and being rolled over in salt and then fried in burning hot oil, then my limbs being torn out of my body and I could probably go on forever. In short, my time as a mortal on this planet has been miserable.

My mother and father were the epitome of love, they were the ideal couple who fell in love as soon they laid eyes on each other and the middle of their story is so cliché I’d rather let you imagine it in the most typical way possible and the end of it is, they got married!

They sadly never had their happily ever after cause they then got pregnant with me.

(After 9 months of my mother craving weird things)

He kept pacing the length of the waiting room, anxious, his face was dripping with perspiration and his brows were knitted in deep thought, his hands were clasping and unclasping and fidgeting with his jacket.

* Piano playing a sad note*

He hears the OR doors opening and rushes towards the doctor and shakes that poor guy until he’s pale. The doctor says that there were a lot of complications with his wife’s pregnancy and that they could save only one of them, and his wife told them to save his child and that he now has a healthy 4.5 pound baby boy.

He fell to the ground. How could he even live without his beloved wife! His moon and stars, his better half! He felt so utterly devastated.

Sometimes when people lose the very thing that defines their life, the very thing that they lived and breathed for, they lose faith and when that happens there is no coming back.

I think this was that moment for my father. I’ve always wondered how anyone could love anything so intensely. But I guess love is a very elusive thing which sadly won’t fit into the bounds of words.

I can try to make sense of though, from what I’ve seen, love is when my father returned home after a tired day of work and as soon as he saw the face that opened the door, he could find calmness in spite of all the chaos surrounding him. One of the biggest regrets of my life is that I couldn’t see and feel that pure unconditional love.

Anyways, in my bittersweet flashback my father also gets to know that it was my mother’s intentional decision to give her life in order to save mine.

So, from that day my father loathed to see my face. As every time he looked at me, I reminded him of the day he lost the purpose of his life. He became an alcoholic and just gave me money to do whatever the hell I want with it.

I never actually went to school regularly, used to bunk most of the time. But that didn’t matter because I passed somehow by cheating and my street smartness. But, it really hit me when I flunked my senior year and all of my friends went to Ivy League colleges, while I was left to attend my dreadful senior year AGAIN with a bunch of crackpots.

Though, that wasn’t the part that made me lose my sense of self- dignity. It was when the look of nonchalance on my father’s face when he heard the former news. Even this far in life I didn’t have goal or any plans to look forward to. This part kept me most of the nights and stole any little peace of mind I had left.

Then I attended community college in hopes of at least getting proper education. In college, I couldn’t stick to any one major for a year as I was pretty fickle minded about it.

One sunny happy day, birds are chirping, I’m braying Beyoncé’s halo and enter the college premises to see this guy snogging my girlfriend. My fury knows no bounds as I beat the shit out of him then I get to know that my girlfriend had been cheating on me with him for many months. But, it was too late to reconsider my actions as I had probably broken 50 of his bones oops!

Then I got slapped an assault case and got expelled from college for disgracing them. This particular joke that I’m about to say is a big touché moment but humour at my expense has been a trend I’ve experienced everywhere so hell with it.

I got expelled from a freaking community college with drug addicts, goons, people who have flunked their freshman year about 3 times go to. And I have been expelled from such a college for “disgracing them”!!!

Go on laugh yourself out.

But a tiny ray of hope appeared after a jumbo combo of disappointment with a side of bad luck and a dollop of ugly fate. I was discovered by the basketball scouts and got a chance to play in the local league and if I did play well, I had a chance of playing ball in college! They absolutely loved me. I had gotten so used to people being disappointed in me that I was so unsure of myself when people really appreciated me.

But as you know of my series fuck ups I had to screw this one too. But, this one was the most epic of them all. I had a few shots in before the game just to you know, bring that edge.

During the game, when I was passed the ball, my drunken brain thought it was the head of my ex-girlfriend and I started smashing the ball against my head (which my brain thinks as a pathetic attempt of kissing “her” or rather “it”). So, at the end, everyone thought I was some lunatic and I got kicked off the field (literally).

I finally let go of all the little self-respect I had and applied for a job as a cashier at McDonalds. And the reply from them was the single most embarrassing moment of my life.

I got rejected!

Then I heard a call saying that my grandpa had died but he had also left me the family mansion, which I assume is out of pity for being ignored for most of my life. This was just in time (not my grandpa’s death of course! Gee I’m not so devoid of emotion!) as I was being kicked out of my apartment due to not paying rent for past 3 months and needed a place to crash.

But, aside from that I was a 23 year old man with no job, no girlfriend, and no degrees to show for, no friends and absolutely broke. I should be the poster boy for the word “miserable” (at least that way I’ll make some profit out of my pathetic existence of a life).

The mansion looks absolutely beautiful from outside. It has a huge dome at the centre with 2 parapets flanking its either sides. The entire dome is made of tinted blue glass which makes it look like it’s a part of the sky but a glistening one filled with hand painted butterflies, hummingbirds, Macau’s and various other exotic species of birds.

The front lawn is as exorbitant as a rare and secret meadow left untouched by mankind, where the flowers unknown grow at their own liberty, unrestricted where bees hover over them making a slight buzzing sound . The whole estate looks so unreal and glorious, it is like a medieval castle left untouched.

But, all I could feel by looking at it was dejection. I felt even this wonderful piece of architecture was looming over and looking at me in pity. I sighed heavily and gathered my meagre possessions and stepped inside.

It was even more splendid from the inside. I don’t know what I’ll do with so much space, I could fit all of my things in the pantry closet! I just lay down on the plush divan to take a small nap because thinking about my wretched life made my mind blackout and heavy like I’d had a few too many tequila shots.

“Poor boy, how can anyone’s life be so tragic and pitiable!?” said pride, wiping off the tears rolling down its cheek, “I know what a troubled childhood feels like, even my mother was too haughty to admit that she had become too fat because of giving birth to me and she never looked at me with a hint of motherly affection, it totally damaged my self-confidence.”

“As if you ever had it to begin with! You appeared to be so full of yourself in front of people but deep down you’re a pathetic little wimp!”

“Stop it envy! See, you made him cry, aren’t you living up to your name! Always jealous of others! I know it’s like we can invade his privacy, by taking a peek at his thoughts, but this boy can’t even defend himself. He doesn’t get angry at all when people talk all sorts of things about him! How can he even live with himself!”

“Now now, anger you don’t upset yourself too much, your BP is gonna skyrocket. All this boy needs to do is to get laid man! He so uptight, he needs to loosen up a little and take a chill pill.”

“I totally agree with you, said Sloth, he needs to take some time out for himself and have a little self’-introspective nap once in a while right, Glutton?”

“All you ever do is take naps! And anyways he needs to round up and appear fuller, he’s such a scrawny kid! Eat more spaghetti and meatballs!”

“You’re awfully quiet Greed, speak up man this isn’t like you! You’re always complaining that you don’t as much time to speak”.

“Yeah dude, it’s just I’ve never seen any man not having even basic survivalist desires. We gotta help this fella.”

“Okay then roll up your sleeves gentlemen and ugh *cough* cough* sorry woman, we got some work to do!”

I opened my eyes and nearly peed myself in the pants, in front of me were six men and woman, I screamed like a cat dunked in a bucket of water!

“Hey Yo mate, chill down, we’re just here to help”, said a boy who was in his teens clearly by the amount of acne on his face and the ripped jeans and hoodie he wore further justified my guess, he wore a badge called “sloth”

What a weird name, I thought. Who would like to be named after the sloth bear!

“Yo, for the fact the sloth bear was named after me!”

“Now, sloth you need to follow your own words, the boy must be scared shitless. By the way, I’m Greed, nice to meet you too and that rude fellow was Sloth.”, spoke a middle aged man with a rather baggy shirt and tight jeans.

“Guys let’s introduce ourselves to make it easier for him. Hello young fellow, I’m Glutton!”, said a shirtless man whose abs glistened with sweat as though he’d come from a workout.

“Hello kitten, I’m Anger.”, said a strikingly beautiful woman with a purple dress synched at the waist with a Gucci belt and black stilettos.

“Greetings from the better part of hell dear, I’m Envy.”, said a man with a formal attire and red horn-rimmed glasses.

“Morning, I’m Pride.”, said a tall man wearing an expensive Armani suit, reebok sunglasses and slick blonde hair.

“Hi, I’m Lust.” ,he whispered, God he must be the male-version of Aphrodite! He was enough to turn a straight man like me, gay.

(I gave such detailed description of them, as they keep recurring and I wanted you guys to see them exactly like I did.)

“Umm. Hi, I’m max I guess.”, I blurted.

“God! We need to work on your self-confidence boy! Okay I’ll tell you why we’re here. While you were napping, we looked into your past and thought you might need a little boost to help you live a better life. So, each of us will help you in their own area of expertise and ooh! I almost forgot we are here only for two days, so buckle up!”

Have become schizophrenic?! I am hearing voices in my head!

“Relax honey, we are visible and audible only to you.”, Anger said.

“Humph okay, what should I do to get rid of you lot?”

Quit the sarcasm brother, first we need to get a good workout. Come on move your ass, and Glutton then pulled me away for what seemed like forever and made me workout like hell. The workout was so intense, I was so sore I couldn’t move a muscle and every time I got up my butt ached.

But, when I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t believe my eyes, my body looked like it was photo shopped! Six pack abs, killer thighs, amazing collar bone and to top it off a chiseled jaw! I looked like a Greek God!

Then, without wasting a minute, Sloth whisked me into the kitchen which was filled with amazing food and magazines. He told me, “You know what mate, you need to take some time out for yourself and make yourself happy once in a while.”

I never forgot those words.

I ate to my stomach’s fill, of course only healthy foods allowed (Glutton approved- check). Then my slot was with Anger.

We took a walk and were talking everyday stuff when she pulled me into a McDonald’s. I resisted as I had just eaten the feast of my life, but she insisted and made me sit down in a booth.

“Sometimes anger in the right direction is okay.”

Then a waiter came and asked for our order, before we could even blink an eye, he started bellowing out like a cow belching and started telling people that I was the specimen of a man who got rejected even from a McDonald’s job and thought a ball was his ex-girlfriend!

People around me started taking selfies and snaps of me and posting it on social media.

Anger whispered, “You need to defend your honour, sugar. No one is going to do it for you.”

I mustered all the courage I had left in me and punched that guy in his face. I pulled Anger away and we made for the run.

After the running all the way to house, I told her, “I never felt so exhilarated and satisfied in my entire life!”

“But, remember kitten, anger only in the right direction and for the right cause, like you defending your honour for example.”

Will remember, Ms. Anger.

Then Pride and Greed approached me together and took me into my room and gave my laptop.

“Listen son, you are quite capable and intelligent, all you need is to believe in yourself a little more and go after the things you want.” , Pride said. “So you need to write an essay to get into Ivy League colleges with full scholarship, so begin writing.”

I bit my lip. Just believe in yourself.

Then I wrote my essay by pulling an all-nighter and submitted it.

I could feel someone shaking me hardly, I rubbed my eyes and opened them reluctantly only to see Greed pulling off my blankets and telling me to get ready for a small basketball session.

We then drove over to the Baltimore city gym, I then realized he had brought me to the basketball try-outs for the city’s team!

Believe in yourself.

After almost half a day, we returned home then Lust dragged me into various clothing stores and dressed me up and told me to remember one girl who had impacted me the most.

Then, I thought how I could miss the one girl who stood with me through thick and thin! She never doubted me! Suddenly I could remember all the subtle hints she gave throughout the time we were friends, and I, a fool, never paid her enough attention, trying to go after girls who were popular!

Oh Sarah! Then I saw the smirk on Lust’s face and knew he was the one who helped me clear my thoughts.

He murmured, “Go! You moron.”

I rushed to my car and drove to Sarah’s house and almost punched a hole into her front door trying to knock.

The door opened, and when I saw her face, I found calm in midst of all chaos of my mind, guess I finally got to see the true love I always yearned for.

I gave her my true confession with gulps in between.

She told, “I thought you’d never realize.”

I pulled her waist close to me, and whispered in her ear, “Better late than never” and tucked the hair on her cheek behind her ear and kissed her like I’d never see her again.

Well, two days passed within a blink of an eye, and yet I have changed so much, grown into a better man. Oh! Only Envy hadn’t had his chance to speak to me.

I then told Sarah I’d see her tomorrow and drove back to the house to see all of them standing on my front porch. I got down and t and went and hugged each one knowing it was time to say our goodbyes.

Envy stepped forward, “Max, we always knew you were a special young man, but always remember that when you succeed, there are always gonna be people who will envy you and try to bring you down, you have to then remember how hard you worked to get there and say, fuck you assholes and stay put.”

“I love you guys; do you have to go?”

“Yes child, but we will be watching you, okay?”

Goodbye.

When I was going to unlock the front door, I saw my reflection on the glass, and I then I realized that I was always like this, but I never saw myself for what I really am.

I measured my life by milestones and achievements all along, never realizing those small moments where I was the best possible version of myself.

I guess, the old wise man was correct.

Epilogue – After a year

I am so busy right now, I don’t even have the time to write this, but I know you guys I are curious of what happened after that.

I got selected to play college ball for Princeton University with a full scholarship. Sarah and I are in a very serious relationship and we are thinking of getting married after college, oh and by the way, she also got accepted to Princeton.

I also work as a part time model for Vogue (who knew!) I think I may be playing for the NBA next year.

And I made things right with my father and actually forgave him of all his shortcomings.

I am so grateful and happy for those two days last year, though I still think my mind is playing tricks with me as I went back the McDonald’s store and asked the guy whom I punched if he remembered me and he gave this weird look .

Anyways, you guys might have thought I have finally achieved something, but I think otherwise. I am still so very insecure about myself in a thousand different ways. But when I wake up in the morning, I am so grateful for being given this life in contrast to before when I used to wonder my purpose.

~ Lady Lazarus

[falseroar]

On the Case

((So, while I was writing Can You Wake Up?, I might have mentioned something about wanting to do a one shot with Y/N and the Detective. Here we have Abe and Y/N, (pet) detectives...))

You weren’t entirely sure how you ended up sitting at an outdoor table at a small café with Abe, wearing a Hawaiian-print shirt whose amazingly colorful design was only rivaled by the shirt the Detective himself wore as he scoped out the people passing across the street.

Spite probably had more than a little to do with it, now that you thought about it. The detective had gotten a hold of your phone number, probably from Tyler, and called to ask if you would be interested in helping out on his latest case. He’d barely offered to pay you before Dark barged into your room at the ego house, grabbed the phone from your hand, and said, “Absolutely not.”

You weren’t even sure if you would have taken the detective up on his offer if that hadn’t happened, although the idea of spending time with Abe and maybe even having some money of your own was tempting. But then Dark got tired of arguing with you and pulled Mark into it. It was one of the rare times you saw the two of them agree on something, going so far as to “forbid” you from going.

They should have seen this coming, honestly.

Sure, you understood why Abe even calling you “partner” might make the two of them nervous, but it wasn’t even like this was a dangerous case. Apparently, some guy decided to take it out on his ex by stealing her dog, and she hired Abe to get the canine back. Right now, the plan was just to tail the guy back to wherever he was keeping the poor animal, rescue “Thor” (apparently her cat’s name was Loki), and maybe make the guy regret all his decisions going by how Abe described him to you.

Sounded simple enough, to the point you wondered why Abe even called you for help, not that you were going to complain. At least not about that.

“Is this really necessary?” you asked, tugging on the collar of your shirt.

Abe glanced over. “Look, partner, we’ve been over this: you gotta dress the part if you want to blend in.”

“In what reality is this blending in? But that’s not what I meant.” It was true enough that you doubted anything about these shirts could be considered inconspicuous, with the only thing more distracting than the Detective’s shirt was the fact that he somehow managed to find a fedora that matched, but there was another reason you were uncomfortable. You tugged again, this time catching the top of the bulletproof vest underneath your shirt and managing to pull it away slightly. It was hot enough in LA without wearing layers, much less this thing. “Why do I need this vest? I thought the whole plan was to get in and get out.”

“Trust me, you’ll be glad you’re wearing it when you get shot.”

“You mean if I get shot, right?”

“That’s what I said.” Abe glanced at his watch and went back to checking out the clothing store across the street. “He should be leaving work any minute now. Quick, we need to be acting inconspicuous. Pretend like we’re having a conversation.”

“But we are—” You sighed and decided not to bother. “Abe, about the shirts, I don’t know if you noticed, but they kind of stick out.”

“Exactly!” The Detective flashed you a smile and a wink. “No one who’s trying to be sneaky would be stupid enough to wear something like this, so if you think you’re being followed, of course you wouldn’t expect someone dressed like us!”

Deciding it was probably best not to point out Abe may have just called himself stupid, you said, “…Sure, but, I don’t know, it kind of feels like you just finished watching an Ace Ventura movie and wanted to dress the part. Even this case sounds like something that happened in one of the movies.”

“Pfft, that guy?” Abe snorted. “Please, I practically taught him everything he knows. If anyone is copying anyone, it’s him.”

You started to respond to that but hesitated. It wouldn’t be the first time you found something like that to be different from the reality you used to be in until recently, after all. Heck, you passed an electronics store with a set of TVs playing news footage of a superhero decked out in red on the way here, and the only comment anyone else made was to wonder what Silver Shepherd had been up to recently.

While Abe went back to staring at the store in a not at all creepy or suspicious way, you pulled out your phone. It had taken bribing Google to get the android to “adjust” whatever he put in it that allowed Dark to spy on your phone and listen in on your calls, but spending a day keeping Bing away from Google seemed like more than a fair price when you imagined the look on Dark’s face when he finally realized you weren’t spending hours looking at funny cat videos. Even if you weren’t able to sleep for three days after Bing talked you into trying whatever was in that energy drink of his.

“Okay, I just looked, and Jim Carrey totally—”

“Shh, there he is!” Abe reached out without looking to shush you, smacking you in the face with his hand repeatedly as he stared at the bodybuilder type of guy who just walked out of the clothing store. The dude was massive, he could probably pick both of you up at the same time, and he was moving fast.

You both jumped up and trailed him at a distance, Abe making an effort to hide behind lampposts and trashcans even though the guy never once glanced back on his way to a bus stop on the next street over. Fortunately, at this point he put his headphones in and started listening to music so loud you could hear the bass from behind the bush where Abe was whispering (if you could call it that) about how to sneak onto the bus before the doors closed for so long that you two almost missed the bus entirely.

The guy spent the whole ride staring out the window, at least when he wasn’t skimming through Twitter on his phone. Everyone else on the bus kept staring at you and Abe, even though you were sitting in the very back, and it was a relief when your guy finally got off at what looked to be one of the more…questionable neighborhoods, considering the first thing you saw when you and Abe jumped off the bus at the last second was some graffiti of a Septiceye somehow eating a taco.

From there, it was easy enough to follow him to an apartment building, and Abe managed to catch the door before it closed behind him.

“Nice work, partner,” Abe said when you told him you saw which apartment he buzzed to be let in. There didn’t seem to be a doorman, or at least there was nobody behind the desk, and you had the small lobby to yourselves as the Detective laid out his plan.

“I know this place, I’ve had clients here, even lived here once back in…’02? ’92? Something like that, point is, there’s a fire escape that runs up the back of the building, I’ve used it a few times for…reasons. I can use that to go up the back and see if the dog’s here while you distract our buddy boy.”

“Wait, what? How am I supposed to distract him?”

Abe shrugged. “Just knock on the door, strike up a conversation, give me enough time to get in and out with Thor. Easy.”

“Then why don’t you do it?”

“Because I know my way around, and people tend not to trust…Detectives.” He paused, and you could almost see him trying to tell himself that’s the reason why people tended to avoid him. He slapped a hand on your shoulder and smiled. “But you, partner, you’re just the kind of person people want to trust and talk to, get them spilling their secrets after one night of poker I bet.”

You sighed. “I can try, I guess?”

“That’s almost the spirit!” He gave you a wink and he was gone, out to find the fire escape.

By the time you made it upstairs, you thought you had a plan. Just knock, act like you were lost and needed directions, keep him talking…Seriously, it couldn’t be that hard, could it?

First problem? Getting anyone to even hear you knock, with music thudding down the hall so loud you could hear it before you even reached the floor.

Second problem? When someone finally opened the door, you realized that you probably should have expected more than one person in the apartment, considering someone had to buzz and let your guy in, who was currently sitting on the couch with his buddy who, like the one who answered the door, all looked like they could have been made at the same place that distributed massive guys in shirts just tight enough to show every single muscle with faces that looked like they would punch you out for funsies.

“You need something?” The guy at the door asked.

“Uh…” You swallowed and said, “Yeah, I’m looking for a friend? I thought this was his apartment, but, uh…”

“What’s his name?” he asked.

“Jim,” you answered out of reflex.

The guy you tailed jumped up and walked over to the door. “Yeah, I’m Jim, you looking for me?”

Well, that wasn’t even fair.

“No, I mean, I’m looking for a Jim, but he’s like, this tall,” you waved at somewhere around the right height, trying to pretend like you didn’t just see the face outside of the window opposite the door. “Uh, black hair, has a brother…Also named Jim…”

“Hey, is that the guy up on the ninth floor?” Jim asked over his shoulder, and now all three of them were at the door, towering over you.

“Nah, man, that James. Jim’s down the hall.”

“You’re thinking of Jeremy, no one’s coming to see him. You sure you got the right apartment number?”

“I…might have got the number wrong, maybe? This is 7C, right?” You had to give Abe more time.

“Oh, I know!” One of the guys, not Jim, snapped his fingers. “I bet they’re looking for the east building.”

“There’s more than one building?” you asked.

“Yeah, this is the west building, place down the street has the same name, you know?” Jim said. “People get it mixed up all the time.”

“Tell me about it, half the time my mail ends up at the wrong place,” one of the guys muttered.

“Uh, yeah, maybe that’s it. How do you get there from here?”

They started giving directions, before one of them said something about it being late, and this was a weird neighborhood, and from there it snowballed into all three of them walking you down the street, cracking jokes until you got to the door and had to figure out how to get inside the building.

“Hey, Pa—er, Y/N! There you are!”

You’d never been more relieved to hear Abe’s voice, and you had to give him credit for not giving it away when you called him Jim and thanked the guys for helping you find your friend.

Once they were out of earshot, you asked Abe, “So, did you find the dog?”

“Yeah, but there’s a small problem…”

Turns out, Thor was a big dog, as in a German Shepherd who growled like some demon spawn when you and Abe snuck back into the apartment through one of the bedroom windows. The sound failed to reach the guys in the living room thanks to the booming music, but it did little to hide the dog’s teeth. Even though he was in a crate, you weren’t sure that those metal bars could stop him if he really tried to take on these two intruders.

“Shh, good boy,” you said quietly as you edged into the room. Your foot hit something on the floor and you bent down to pick up a well-loved plush monkey. The dog’s ears immediately picked up and you gave it a gentle squeak. “Yeah, you like this, Thor? Come on, who’s a good boy?”

Between you and Abe, you managed to get the dog all the way to the window before you noticed the pictures on the dresser. With a sinking feeling, you checked the dog’s tag and sighed. Of course.

“Abe?”

“Yeah?” he asked as he looked out the window to make sure the coast was clear.

“I don’t think Jemma here would appreciate us ‘rescuing’ her.”

You didn’t tell Mark or Dark about your case with Abe. If you did, you probably would have left this part out, and skipped straight to where you found the right guy and rescued the real Thor, an adorable Dachshund/basset hound mix who licked your face the entire time you waited outside while Abe found a few things that the cops might be interested in and called in the tip. You also probably would have focused on how happy the client was to get Thor back if you told them about it, even though the proud way Abe called you “Partner” made you smile just as much on your way back home that night.

((Thank you for reading! This is the last of those “I might do this” from Can You Wake Up? I’ve been playing around with another idea for the series, but it might be a while before anything comes of that. 

Tagging:  @silver-owl413 @determinedrevolutionary @cherrybomb-jaguar @blackaquokat @catgirlwarrior @neverisadork @luna1350 @oh-so-creepy @oceanicfangirl @purpstraw ))

[mukhtaleef]

IPKKND3 binge watch rant

So @asrkikhatir​ finally I got time to watch the episodes!! you successfully convinced me girl!!

I am gonna watch 4 episodes in one go!! this is gonna be super long Lets see how it goes!!

Thursday: 31/08/2017

Ok so Nani is going the original Raizada way. Shadi kisi bhi circumstance me kyo na hui ho rasme nibhana zaruri hai!!

Chandni is so cute with Adi!1 Adi is cute too 

Oh baby is a superman (Adi is wearing a superman cap). that’s so cool. This dialogue is courtesy my kiddo 😃

So cheeku (its so cute!!) mama is Adi’s favourite!!

But seriously, I hate that they use all of the background scores from the original ipkknd.

The one being played right now is one of my favourites arshi tunes!! I hate this that they have used it here!!

See you tomorrow!! Like is he going out of the house!!

This sister is sweet!!

OK may be a wrong thing to say at this time sista!!

Is this the Dil boley Oberoi house? The kitchen looks the same!

I hate jokes made on physical appearances.

Ugh Chandni stop trying to please that witch from hell!!

Why is kajal holding phone for Indrani?

Hey bhaggu! fir aa gaya Advay!!

Run away Chandni. None of these people deserve you!!

Og god!! Is this Sista going to make lame jokes like this? Someone please bring Lipistick wali masi!!

Achha decorate? It looks so gaudy!!

I swear the people in this show can’t read facial expressions at all!!

What? he got her biscuits?

Damn him making her wear jewellery is just creepy!

What? Stop calling her characterless you creep!!

Yass Chandni. Give it back to him. Tell him he doesn’t deserve you at all!!

Where did all the biscuits go? Why didn’t they fall from the plate?

SHUT UP ADVAY!!

Yass girl!! Tell him that he is a disgusting creep!!

Goof girl Chandni!!!

Ok why is Chandni interested in mooh dikhai? Is it just to spite Advay? Then I am all for it!!

BTW that necklace Chandni is wearing is hella ugly!!

OK what is this masi’s problem?

But Advay looks sooooo good!! I like how he is dressed in a proper suit!!

Like what is the point of accepting someone as their bahu in front of society when they are going to be an asshole to them in the confines of the house? I don’t understand this stupid logic 😒😒

Anyway onto next episode.

Friday: 01/09/2017

I hate this stupid precap thing!!

Time to ho gaya? Seriously nani konse Indian function me log time pe aate hai?

Aah Advay has done something!

Did he just tell people that its cancelled!!

Why is he wearing a purple suit?

someone needs to monitor Adi’s Media consumption! What are they showing this kid that he is talking like that!!

Ok this masi is making me dislike her more and more every passing second!

Advay is calling Indrani, right?

Yup.

lol. I love it when Advay is fucking up Indrani!!

Paylagu sasu ma. aapka zabardasti ka damad bol raha hu 😁😁

Okay Advay you don’t need to insult Chandni while fucking up Indrani.

I love how Sobti is playing it though!!

Leela is hypocritical as well. Khud to apni ma ki sun nahi rahi hai and expects her daughter to listen to her!! Go away you bitch!! 

Why is Nani getting bossed around by Leela? what sort of relationship do these two share? And why is Advay fine with it? 

Why is Chandni lying to Indrani? Doesn’t she no that her misery will give Indrani more pleasure?

Okay stop crying for that woman Chandni. She doesn’t deserve it!

Your apology is useless Nani!! you shouldn’t have brought her here.

Ghanti baji! kon aaya?

Lmao bachha party!! Adi, well played!!

Hahaha suck it up Advay!! I am soooooo happpyyyyyyy. 

Lmao!! I am loving this. Advay ka super popat!! YESSSSSSS

Hahahaha Adi Chauke chhakke maar raha hai!

Sab log kaise dekhenge ki meri mami kitni pretty hai!!

Advay’s face at that!! jaise kisine mooh me karela daal diya ho!!

I am so loving this!!

Go Adiiii!!!

Take that Advay!!

I hate what Chandni is wearing though! And that duppatta doesn’t match at all!!

Ye maara nani ne sixer!!

Sharma raha hai!! Leela tu he samjha na isse! Lmao Nani bhi so savage!!

I love this.

I don’t fully understand Advay-Leela dynamics!!

Why is putting those kangan in such slow motion?

Yes! I love it when Chandni gives it back to Advay!!

Is Adi sick or something? How classic!!

ughh Sobti is lip syncing this so baaad! Its giving me michmichi!!

But but but I love the lyrics which are playing between Advay and Chandni!!

I hate how they made Advay out to be a musician but the execution is so poor!! 

I am done with Advay constantly threatening Chandni!!

Chandni fainted!! Ab Advay usse god me uthayega!!

Did she eat anything?

I quite liked this episode!!

Monday: 04/09/2017

Wow only tanatan boy has noticed Chandni’s hunger!!

Ugh Nani’s jokes!!

Why is Chandni so hung up Indrani!!

And stop crying for her!!

Yes mamaji tell her the truth!!

Oh puhleeez Chandni!! That woman is vile!! No need to call her nafrat meethi!! she was about to sell you!!

Fuck I hate this!! 

Sometimes I think more than Advay-Chandni, Chandni-Indrani relationship is more toxic!!

And I am still mad about Indrani being a total witch from hell!!

God I hate this!!

Mamaji please tell Chandni that Indrani tried to sell her! That would probably stop her Maa maa!!

Oh god!! Pooja’s jokes are so lame!!

He made noodles for her?

Pooja asking some real questions here!!

I like her despite her lame jokes!

Hain!! Didn’t he just tell her in last episode that he will not ask her to leave because nani said so! 

I just had an image of Nani singing kya hua tera vaada to Advay 🙈

Or he is asking her to go out because her presence makes him feel something something!!

Wow he is asking her nicely to leave because he promised not to throw her out. What crap!

What in the hell Nani! Why is Chandni supposed to bear your grandson’s nonsense? WTF is this yar? I hate it!!

Advay is stumped! What’s he gonna do?

Chandni girl take this opportunity and run. Go live a peaceful life away from both Advay and Indrani!!

Yikes!! Spiders!! He left spiders in her room!!

I really want to punch him in his face

WTF?! Poisonous spiders!! Goddamnit Advay!

Shit!! I hope one of the spiders bite Advay 😡😡 and courier some to Indrani as well!!

Is he not gonna throw those spiders out!!

Ooh the spider actually bit Advay!! Lmao!!

Sabko bhaga diya to aise bol rahi hai jaise annoying bache the!!

But again this reinforces the theory that he is her tormentor and saviour both!

She is remembering all the times he saved her!! Don’t fall into that trap Chandni!

Advay has a picture of Dev and Chandu framed!!

Advay is sounding like a petulant child here!! 

Wow that flashback!! Advay is actually slut shaming Chandni!! Padhat moorkha!!

Didn’t she used to call him tum?

Samajh me bhi nahi aata aap dushman hai ya nahi?

Eeee Chandni ne dukhti rag pe hath rakh diya!

I love Advay’s expression here. that sudden change from almost stoic expression to unshed tears in his eyes!

This makes me think even he is confused!!

Chandni said the same!!

Advay’s threats are getting old now!!

Why is Nani sending Shilpa to work in someone else’ house? Let the girl get some rest!! 

Why do people in this house talk about Advay’s ex girlfriends as if its some badge of honour? this topic doesn’t deserve to joked about when Advay publicly slut shamed Chandni for having a kid before getting married!! Such double standards! I hate it!!

Chandni is lowkey intrigued about Advay’s ex girlfriends!!

Tell her the truth Nani!! She deserves it after you asking her to bear Advay’s BS!

What crap!! 

And why is Nani talking about nafrat while smiling

And we are done with this episode too. Onto last one for today!!

Tuesday: 05/09/2017

Lol Adi making fun of Chandni’s height!!

Lmao Adi’s secret!! Aloo and paneer ke beech me difference nahi pata!!

Advay’s face at mami ko kiss karo 😁

But seriously from where is Adi getting all these ideas?

Chandni looks mildly uncomfortable. Mostly she looks shy! Does she want Advay to kiss her!! No girl!!

lol Pinky ke mama is very romantic!!

These two look so pretty though!! Thank god Advay isn’t wearing stupid clothing anymore!

What the fuck is Advay upto now?

What kangan are those?

This doesn’t look good!!

Ugh shut up about PeePee already!!

WTF?? Is he going to gaslight her again?? What rubbish is this?

Advay looks deranged right now!!

Ok is my TV playing tricks on me or is there really no fire visible?

What the hell is going on?

Advay Singh Raizada is a psycho!!

What sort of warning is this!!

Yes Chandni tell him!! 

Chandni too thinks Advay is psycho!!

Ok girl take it sown a notch will you!! 

whats wrong with Advay?

He fainted? WTF?

Why doesn’t he want anyone to know?

Call an ambulance girl!!

arre call that tanatan boy!!

WTF she doesn’t know how to drive? matlab kuch bhi?

This is a crapfest!! sir me dard ho gaya mere!!

How does this pandu know her!!

Dude doctor!! cut it out will you? 80% of Indians have arranged marriage and don’t know much about their spouses initially!!

Kidney nahi hai?

6 mahine ke andar? didn’t he comeback to Mumbai 6 months later? or am I wrong? So before going to allahabad he donated his Kidney to someone? but whom?

But seriously what is with Gul and giving her MLs some sort of physical problem? Diabetes, Heart disease and now just one kidney!! SMH. All of this is way too repetitive man!!

But finally I am done with marathon! I have a mild headache now. Thanks to Advay!!

[russellthornton]

What Do Girls Find Attractive? 15 Things All Girls Find Appealing

Attraction can be subjective. But if you’ve been wondering what do girls find attractive, there are some things that they find universally appealing.

Asking what do girls find attractive is tricky, because attraction is such a subjective thing. Who among us hasn’t seen the hottest girl in the world with a mate we consider mediocre and wonder what he had to offer?

The truth is that even the most world renowned scientists haven’t entirely figured out the reason sexes unite.

There are some generally agreed upon things that girls find attractive, however. And, some things that we definitely don’t. Unfortunately, most guys are completely clueless about the difference.

So what do girls find attractive?

Believe it or not, attraction is most likely not all about the six pack abs *although we do like that*, or the huge bank account *although that is nice too*, but rather, it is about the whole package. Here are the answers to what do girls find attractive.

#1 Sense of humor. I know it sounds so completely cliché, but having a good sense of humor is one of the most attractive traits that a guy can have.

If you are someone who can’t find the funny in the most unfunny time, then you aren’t attractive when we really need you to be. A smile and a good joke can make any girl swoon. [Read: What girls find attractive – 25 traits that make you irresistible]

#2 Ambition. It isn’t that we want a guy who is going to take over the world. But, a girl wants to know that the guy she is dating has a plan.

If you are working a minimum wage job with no expectations but to pay rent and buy some mayonnaise for your refrigerator, that isn’t very attractive. Ambition is sort of like passion; it gives a spark that ignites a girl’s attraction meter.

#3 Good dresser. I say that very liberally. It isn’t really that you are a trendy guy or that you have the latest clothes. Being a good dresser is about knowing what your style is and owning it. If you are a ripped jeans and t-shirt kind of guy, then stay that way.

You aren’t going to impress her by picking up a fashion magazine and wearing something that isn’t “you.” Being comfortable with yourself includes being comfortable with your own sense of style. [Read: How to get a girl to notice you and like you without even talking to her]

#4 Know etiquette. In the same fashion, knowing what is appropriate behavior is highly attractive. You can be the jean type of guy, but what girls find attractive is a guy who can go from bar wear to a suit and tie to fit any occasion. That involves being self-aware and it exudes maturity. Those are two very attractive traits.

#5 Kindness. Girls want a guy who can exhibit kindness. We aren’t looking for the tough guy all the time. We want someone who can be tough, but also empathetic. If you see someone struggling, it is very attractive to step in and help.

We like the rough and tumble combined with the Boy Scout who helps the old lady across the street. Kindness is a quality that allows us to see your tender side. This will help them see you as a good candidate for a husband and father. [Read: 12 Prince Charming traits that make all girls swoon]

#6 Chivalry. Every girl wants her Prince Charming. That doesn’t mean that you have to sweep her off her feet at every date or conduct yourself impeccably, but it is very attractive when you show respect for a woman by pulling out her chair or opening the door.

Not just at the restaurant, but also her car door and ordering for her if the occasion is appropriate. Women find someone who will take care of them and consider them admirable, very attractive.

#7 An easy-going attitude. When you are a couple, there are bound to be times of great stress and peaks and valleys. What a girl finds attractive is a guy who can roll with it. So what if the restaurant loses your reservation?

The key is to be able to change directions and save the day. If you sulk, throw a fit, or just lose your shit every time something doesn’t go the way that you planned, or you want, that is definitely not attractive in the least. If you want to turn her on, be the guy that can take lemons and make a great lemonade cocktail. [Read: How to be a man the way he really should be]

#8 Pick up the tab. Even if you aren’t a millionaire, a guy who will pick up the tab is very attractive. If you are out with a group, you don’t have to pick up the table tab, but make sure that if you like a girl or are on a date with her, you pay for her at least at the beginning.

If you let her pay her own way, it tells her that you are stingy and that you don’t think she is worth it. Those are two things that aren’t attractive in the least.

#9 Be fit. Not everyone is into the body-building meathead body type. But, in general, women likes a guy who takes care of himself. You don’t have to work out 24/7 or be full of muscles, but we like to see that you are going to live past the age of 50 without having a heart attack.

As much as guys think that women like to nag, we don’t. By nature, we feel like it is our responsibility to take care of the people we love. There is nothing attractive about looking at a guy who doesn’t take care of himself. That is just another project we don’t want to take on. [Read: How to be the “hot guy” all girls love – 20 rules to instant hotness]

#10 Don’t smoke or get sloppy drunk. If you want a woman to find you attractive, don’t pull out a cigarette when picking her up for a date or get sloppy drunk when you are out. It isn’t that we don’t want a guy who parties, but there is nothing attractive about an obnoxious drunk.

It just tells us that you have very little self-control. When you are trying to get to know a girl, take the time to get to know each other before you pull all the skeletons out of the closet and show the worst qualities you have. It isn’t tough or cool to be a loud-mouth smoking drunk; it is just ugly.

#11 Smell good. There is nothing that is more attractive to a woman than a guy who smells good. That is easier said than done. We want to get a whiff of your manly scent, but we also don’t want to be overpowered by your cologne.

Somewhere in between is perfect. If you are going out for the night apply some cologne, but just enough to leave her with a little hint, not a bad taste in her mouth because it is so heavy she can taste it. [Read: 50 cute and sexy things guys do that girls love]

#12 Don’t be an octopus. No girl wants a guy who is all over them on the first, second, or third date. A girl finds a guy who can control his urges – but still lets her know he is interested – most attractive. Sound confusing?

If you want to be attractive to a woman, then it is the soft and sensual touch that we like – not the groping, sexual innuendos that are inappropriate, or shoving your tongue down her throat.

If you want to be attractive, touch her back to escort her lightly, brush up against her thigh, or even take her hand in yours. Romantic is not dead, and if you want to be attractive enough to make it to her bed, then start slowly, show respect, and don’t be overly pressuring. [Read: How to touch a girl on a date and make her desire you]

#13 Listen. A girl finds a guy who listens very attractive. If you are getting to know her and can’t be bothered with the small talk, look around the room, or find the game on the television more interesting than what she has to say, that isn’t attractive at all.

If you want her to find you hot, then actively listen to what she says by asking questions, maintaining eye contact, and showing interest even if you aren’t exactly interested. Being active doesn’t mean dominating the conversation, but taking turns.

Try to save the “college” stories for a later time, she doesn’t need to know what you and your frat boys did to the pledges in your house. That is NOT attractive at all. [Read: How to sweet-talk a girl and make her melt]

#14 Talk favorably. Girls don’t like guys who talk about their exes, their friends, or their family in a negative manner. If you are going to talk about characters in your life, try to be positive about them.

Trashing your ex isn’t going to sound attractive, but spiteful… and that is something no girl wants to deal with. Positivity is one of the most attractive traits a guy can possess, so put negatives away. [Read: How to make a girl really want you and think of you sexually]

#15 Do what she likes to do. One of the most attractive things a guy can do is to find out what a girl likes to do and make a date to do it. Consideration mixed with spontaneity are two highly attractive characteristics to a girl. It shows them that you aren’t shallow or self-absorbed, and that you care about what she wants and likes.

[Read: How to win a girl’s heart and impress her effortlessly]

If you are wondering what do girls find attractive, it depends a little on the girl, your age, and finding out what makes her tick. In general, if you follow the 15 rules above, and just be you, if you have the right chemistry, you will win her heart.

The post What Do Girls Find Attractive? 15 Things All Girls Find Appealing is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.