#that man did not need to fucking specify who was on the top bunk and who was on the bottom. like

[andi-o-geyser]

I’m so sorry but I think that the funniest thing they did in Top Gun Maverick was the fact that to try to beat the “Top Gun is really fucking gay” allegations they paired Mav up with a different woman this time but in doing so accidentally validated an entirely new gay ship. It’s like. Hey. Lean in real close. Hey. Mav’s got a new girlfriend this time and they’re exes with a fraught past but over the course of the movie make up and get back together, isn’t that so romantic? And then five feet away from all that shit Rooster and Hangman are just straight up saying they have an history with each other and they hold an intense rivalry before they eventually get over their differences and become friends and all the while Rooster is telling Hangman he looks good for the fiftieth fucking time that day and they keep playing romantic songs to piss each other off. The most hilarious thing is that the writers constantly use Maverick’s romances from both movies and basically parallel the only straight relationships with Rooster and Hangman’s relationship, and it’s like? Is this intentional? Is there something you want to tell us?? Because those two have STRONG hostile ex boyfriend energy if i’ve ever seen it, and if the writers want to convince me they’re straight they have another thing coming. If parallels with the only romance on screen then why no canon ex boyfriends. If parallels with both couples from both movies then why no gay. Hmm. Riddle me that Tom Cruise 

[kozmicmizuu]

at this point expect random lil senecios and headcanons just popping up 😔🫶

also is it obvious i have a favorite trio????

(a lil uzuigiyuu, rengiyuu, uzuren, actually just put three together uzurengiyuu)

————————————————————————

Kyojuro: Tengen doesn’t deserve you.

Kyojuro: If they don't treat you right by now, you're gone.

Giyuu: I'm gone.

Kyojuro: Now go chop their dick off!

Kyojuro: sapnu puaS.

Tengen : What??

Giyuu: What language is that.

Kyojuro: Turn your phone 180 degrees.

*Kyojuro was removed from the groupchat*

Giyuu: Kyojuro, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Kyojuro, naked in Giyuu's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Giyuu, already taking off their clothes: ... Me neither.

Tengen : There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

Giyuu: Nope, there's 26.

Tengen : Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

Giyuu: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Tengen : You'll get the D later ;).

Giyuu: No.

Giyuu: I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room.

Kyojuro: Don’t preach to me about romance, Giyuu. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.

Giyuu: I know, i was there and so was Tengen.

Kyojuro: Oh yeah.

Kyojuro: What are you in the mood for?

Giyuu: World domination.

Kyojuro: That's a bit ambitious.

Giyuu: You are my world.

Kyojuro: Aww...

Giyuu:

Kyojuro:

Giyuu:

Kyojuro: OH.

Giyuu: My bad…

Giyuu: We need a diversion. I say Kyojuro gets naked.

Tengen : No.

Giyuu: I could get naked.

The squad: NO!!!

Tengen: I mean… if you really want to-

Kyojuro: NO DONT THATS ONLY FOR US TO SEE

Giyuu: WHAT

Kyojuro: There. How do I look?

Giyuu: Like a cheap French harlot.

Kyojuro: French?!

Tengen: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches.

Kyojuro: Of course we would, right Giyuu?

Giyuu: Yeah, i mean we already kinda are.

Kyojuro: What’s your body count?

Giyuu: Do you mean sex or murder?

Kyojuro: I hate the fact that i have to specify which one im taking about.

Kyojuro: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Giyuu: What’s up your ass this morning??

Tengen : *walks in* ...Hey.

Giyuu: Hmm… nevermind.

Kyojuro: WAIT NO

Giyuu: *sucking on a popsicle*

Kyojuro: Pfft, you practicing for when Tengen gets here?

Giyuu: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle*

Kyojuro: *Concern*

Giyuu: don’t worry he’s into that.

Kyojuro: Oh ok- WAIT WHAT

Giyuu: look Tengen , I'm not slut shaming you but...

Giyuu: Actually yeah, I'm TOTALLY slut shaming you.

Tengen: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Giyuu: What did Tengen do this time?

Kyojuro: More like WHO did Tengen do this time?

Giyuu: *Nodding in agreement*

Tengen : I like your top, Kyojuro!

Giyuu: I have a name, you know.

Kyojuro: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

Giyuu: I thought is was funny ngl.

Tengen : Sorry, I'm late to the party. I've been doing things.

Kyojuro, entering in an unbuttoned shirt: I got caught up doing things too.

Giyuu: Wow, Tengen was late too! What a coincidence!

Giyuu: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.

Tengen : Wow, I've gotta hear this.

Giyuu: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.

Tengen : You forgot pride.

Giyuu: No, I'm pretty proud of this.

Giyuu: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.

Tengen :

Tengen : I'm gonna tell them.

Kyojuro: Don't you dare.

Tengen : Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Giyuu: Well Kyojuro and I-

Kyojuro: *elbows Giyuu*

Giyuu: ...wouldn't know.

Tengen: Damn i didn’t think you’d be kinky Kyo!

Kyojuro: Why single me out!?

Tengen: Quiet people are always kinky.

Giyuu: Nuh uh

Kyojuro: Bonjour, Giyuu. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

Giyuu: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

Kyojuro: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

Giyuu: Know why I called you in here?

Tengen : Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.

Giyuu: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

Tengen , with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.

Giyuu: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

Kyojuro, bursting into the room: You two are having sex!

Tengen , not looking up from their book: Really? Giyuu, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

Giyuu: I thought we were having a sleepover..

Kyojuro, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Giyuu: Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Giyuu: Here you go.

Kyojuro:

Giyuu:

Tengen : Why am I here?

Giyuu: I’m so funny.

*At a speed dating event*

Tengen : Oh wow, people are really shallow.

Giyuu: Consider it a background check. For example: Do you have a death certificate?

Tengen : *Checks their pulse* Sorry, not yet.

Giyuu: Good, I'm not fucking a ghost again.

Tengen: Again?

Giyuu: Being a medium is an experience.

Giyuu: Do you think sex without love is a sin?

Tengen : If it is, I’ll see you in hell.

Kyojuro: Why are you two like this?

Tengen : Priest kink is definitely a thing and I am afflicted by it.

Giyuu: Go to church.

Giyuu: WAIT—

Giyuu: Oh look who got laid last night.

Kyojuro: That’s right chumps, missionary accomplished!

Tengen : Heh, Giyuu sneezes like a girl.

Giyuu: How about I pound you like boy?

Giyuu: That didn’t come out right.

————————————————————————

Sigh i’m not well, but i love them sm. They are severely out of character but that makes funny. that’s there dynamic now fr fr. Don’t worry they can wholesome.

[bamby0304]

With Wolves- Ch.2

Series Masterlist Bamby’s Masterlist

Summary: Known as The Omen, your reputation puts fear in some of the most dangerous and deadly Alphas. So when you’re caught and sent to the worst maximum security facility unknown to man, no one expected an unclaimed Omega to walk through the gates in shackles and an orange jumpsuit. Word circulates, and before long there’s a price on your head. Who will claim the untamed Omega?

Series Taglist is Closed

Warnings: Explicit language. A/B/O dynamics.

Bamby

You know you’re in deep shit when you’re thrown into a place that has no known address… or name… or existence. They were quite literally throwing away the key, now. After years of getting caught and getting out, they’d finally given up on sending you to the usual Omega prisons. Mind you, it shouldn’t have taken them so long to figure out you weren’t an ordinary Omega.

Though, at the same time, you should have known better than to get caught. The handful of times you’d been busted before had been on purpose- except for the first time, that was a fuck up on your behalf- you’d had work to do on the inside. But this time? Well, let’s just say you now knew you couldn’t trust anyone, didn’t matter what was between their legs or engraved in their biology.

Shuffling down the halls of your new home, your eyes scanned everything and everyone, taking in your surroundings. If they thought you were going to be stuck here for the rest of your life, then they were idiots. You gave it two months tops before you were sippin’ cocktails and killing douchebags all over again.

One of the guards shoved at you. You turned to glare at him over your shoulder, but he didn’t even give you a second glance.

“In there.” One of the others gestured to the door you now stood next to.

Without a word, or hesitation, you grabbed the handle, turned it, opened the door and stepped inside. You were in an office.

It was a mess. There was no organisation to it, at all. You were surprised someone could work in an environment this bad. You wouldn’t be surprised if whoever worked in the office also lived in it. God, the smell was disgusting. It smelt like someone had been sleeping on the corner couch for three weeks without showering.

“Miss Y/L/N!” a man exclaimed as he walked through a second door- which you could tell it was a bathroom due to the sound of a flushing toilet.

The man was pretty average, but that wasn’t surprising. One whiff and you could tell he was a Beta. You guessed that the majority of the workers would be Betas. They’d have to be, in order to keep the peace and also keep a regular work schedule without the interruptions of biology. You also suspected the majority- if not all- of the staff would be male.

You internally sighed. Great.

Back to the man in front of you. He was dressed in a suit that had never seen an iron in its life. He had what looked to be coffee stains on the once pale blue but now grey-blue dress shirt. His tie… well, he clearly didn’t know how to tie it, and didn’t care much either. His hair was raggedy and all over the place. You wondered how someone so messy could run an institution such as the one you now stood in.

“The name’s Chuck,” he introduced himself before reaching out to offer you his hand.

One glance at his hand and you grimaced. The guy clearly didn’t care for hygiene, and had just stepped out of the bathroom… you weren’t touching him with a ten-foot pole.

When you let his hand hang there, he chuckled nervously before dropping it. “Please, take a seat.” He gestured to one of the chairs opposite his own as he moved to sit himself. “So, Y/N… you mind if I call you Y/N?”

“You’re the boss, Chief.” You shrugged, really not caring what he called you. It’s not like you were going to be friends. You weren’t sticking around long enough to make any friends.

“Please, call me Chuck,” he insisted, a friendly but nervous smile on his lips. “Now, Y/N, normally this runs differently, but we haven’t had a case like yours before. There hasn’t been an Omega here in five years, and even then, the last had been a male, who had been… fixed.”

“De-sexed like a dog. Got ya.” You nodded sharply, leaning back in the chair carelessly, while your eyes continued to scan.

Male Omegas were rare, and most of them ended up getting the snip. If they’re rare, then female Alphas were rarer, and while some male Omegas might be gay, not all of them were lucky enough to find an Alpha to ease their heats. So, instead, they simply cut out the bits that made them male or female, and left themselves empty like a blow-up doll with body heat.

Chuck chuckled again, shifting nervously in his seat. Your lips curled in a knowing grin. He was scared of you. Good. You preferred it that way. Scared people make mistakes. Mistakes are what you needed in order to get out of this shit-stain of a place.

“Now, I know you might be a little concerned about your heat, considering you’re now stuck here with a bunch of Alphas-”

You turned to look at him then, lips set in a thin line as you showed no emotion whatsoever. “Do I look concerned, Chief?”

Shifting nervously once more, he cleared his throat. “Well, uh… no. No, you don’t, actually.”

“I can handle myself.” You smiled then. It would have looked like a sweet gesture, if your eyes didn’t have that spark of knowing amusement in them. You weren’t the one who needed to be concerned.

Running a hand through his hair, he moved on, “Right, well, still… your heats need to be controlled, for safety reasons.” You didn’t miss the fact he didn’t specify whose safety he was talking about. “You’ve been prescribed an experimental suppressant. The theory is that it’ll keep you from having heats for six to eight months.”

“So, let me get this straight, Chief.” You leaned forward in the seat to rest your elbows on your knees. “I’m getting thrown in with a bunch of pricks, and by pricks, I mean hot-headed, think-with-nothing-but-their-dick Alphas, and you want me to go on some experimental medication? Some magic pill that may or may not do what they’re supposed to? Have I got that right?”

“Uh… uh, yeah.” He nodded, suddenly unsure if he’d made the right move. “Yes, that’s right.”

You shrugged, leaning back in the chair again. “Okay, got ya. Please, continue.” You gestured for him to go on and keep talking.

He hesitated at first, clearly having no idea how to act around you. Were you pissed? Did you think the pills were a bad idea? If you did, were you going to do something about it? Did you even care? Why weren’t you reacting?

When you continued to scan the room, a carefree look on your face, he relaxed a little as he went on, “Besides the pills, we’re also offering you the chance to distance yourself. Usually we’d throw you in with another inmate, but with you we thought you’d prefer to be by yourself.”

“Alpha or Beta?” you asked without giving him a single glance.

“Excuse me?”

You turned to look at him then. “The person you’d bunk me with, they an Alpha or a Beta?”

“Oh, right.” He nodded, understanding what you were asking. “Uh, Beta. They’re a Beta.”

You shrugged. “Company wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

Truth be told, you couldn’t care less if you were alone or bunked with someone. Either way, you were getting the hell out of dodge, nothing and no one was getting in your way. No dick, prick, penis or testicle.

“Oh… okay… great!” Chuck clearly had been expecting you to want to be alone, but he tried to play off his surprise, offering yet another smile that didn’t fool you for one second. “Why don’t we go get you settled in then?”

***

You walked down a line of cells, which were mostly empty save for a few. The people inside them were lounging about at first, but the instant your scent hit them their interest was caught. You didn’t even glance at any of them, keeping your head held high as you shuffled down the hall, flanked by only two armed guards now, with Chuck taking the lead.

“Hey, Omega, baby.”

“Why don’t you come sit on my lap?”

“I got what you need right here, baby.”

“Got ya Alpha cock waitin’, sweetheart.”

Rolling your eyes, you ignored each and every one of the crass comments. It wasn’t the first and would definitely not be the last time you had to hear such crap. Being an Omega meant you’d been dealing with this bullshit since the day you presented. Your intolerance to it all was what had you shackled and locked away in some faraway place unknown to civilisation.

Coming to a stop by a cell, Chuck rubbed at the back of his neck as he gestured into the small room. “Here we go. Y/N, meet your cellmate, Kevin Tran.”

Looking into the cell, your eyes fell on a small guy, young enough to almost look like a kid. If you hadn’t been told he was Beta you would have guessed it in an instant. He was scrawny, tired and scared… you were amazed someone like him was in a place like this. You were also surprised he was still alive.

Stepping to the side, lifting your hands in front of you and one of the guards, going through the motions, you watched Kevin as the guards unlocked your cuffs and shackles. You didn’t tear your eyes away from your cellmate once, looking him over, analysing every detail. Like you said, you weren’t making any friends, but you weren’t opposed to a helping hand. Kevin looked like the kind of guy who would easily be manipulated, easily pushed… he could come in handy.

“Kevin,” Chuck turned to him, “it’s your job to make sure Y/N gets settled in. Show her around. Tell her how everything works. Make sure she understands the rules and such.” With a short nod, he turned back to you. “It’s really not that hard to live here. I am aware of what you all are, and why you’re all here, just… don’t kill anyone, okay?”

“I’ll try.” You gave a tight smile, glancing over your shoulder to listen to the continued onslaught of catcalls and comments. Turning back to Chuck, you shrugged. “Not making any promises, Chief.”

***

Once Chuck had left, along with the guards, Kevin had showed you around the small cell you both now shared. It was tiny, and that’s putting it nicely.

Two bunks, a small desk, a couple of shelves, and a toilet and connected sink. Everything that could be made of concrete was, to minimalize the risk of inmates finding something to use as a weapon or instrument to aid their escape. The chair for the desk was one piece of metal that was bolted to a pulley sort of system where it could only move backwards and forwards a few inches- there was no way to tear it off and pick it up.

The beds- which were concrete- had thin foam mattresses on them, with no seams or lines to hide anything. The sheets were all white, probably to make cleaning them easier. The toilet was metal, but with no pointed edges. In fact, there wasn’t a single pointed edge in the room. Everything was curved, and round…

It was overkill, but you didn’t doubt it was necessary.

After Kevin showed you the small room and offered you whatever bed you wanted- you took the bottom, by the way- the two of you headed out so he could show you around more.

The whole place was concrete, you realised. There was minimal metal, and absolutely no glass. Most things were unmoveable, bolted down or built into the walls and floors. You also noticed that the hallways were wide, to prevent sneaky oops-I-bumped-into-someone shiv attacks, you guessed. Above the hallways, and in every public room, you noticed the high ceilings… the very high ceilings… and the walkways up ahead.

Catwalks for the guards. Not a single guard was on ground level with the inmates. They were all above, constantly moving, all armed and watching. Security cameras were everywhere as well. So far you hadn’t spotted a single blind spot. Every nook and cranny was covered by a camera.

The place had a decent system going.

Kevin took you to the library, which you’d been surprised to see it was in fact a library. The shelves and tables were all concrete, the chairs plastic and- surprisingly- moveable. It looked like a weird dystopian apocalyptic world version of an ordinary library.

The cafeteria was next. Unlike normal prisons, inmates didn’t work in the kitchen. You guessed it was to keep the criminals away from any knives or other utensils that could be used as a weapon. The tables were like the ones in the library, only these ones had connecting benches. On one side of the room were windows that looked out into the yard- which had been filled with inmates. The other side had barred windows where the food was collected and served.

While walking around, you’d spotted a few inmates checking you out. You didn’t miss the whispers or the looks. You just chose to ignore it. Not a single soul had come up to either you or Kevin, and as long as that continued, you weren’t going to start something. If you wanted out of this place, you couldn’t afford any distractions.

One thing that hadn’t failed to distract you was Kevin.

Kevin was adorable… and absolutely terrified of you.

It was obvious. Every time you made a sudden movement, he jumped. His eyes darted around. His fingers fiddled. He shifted on the spot. He was sweating like a sinner in church. If he shat himself, you wouldn’t have been surprised. The guy was scared of you, and either had no idea or no control over the fact he was making it pretty clear.

“I need some fresh air,” you told him, hoping that going outside would offer him some ease.

Being around others wouldn’t make you feel great, but you didn’t want to have to live with someone who was petrified of you, so hopefully this olive branch would lessen the fear. Hopefully.

Continuing down the hall you were both in, he gave a quick nod. “Yeah. Sure. Of course. I’ll, uh… I can show you the yard? But, uh…”

When he kept hesitating, you sighed. “Seriously, I need you to breathe. If you keep freaking out, living in that cell together is gonna suck. You got a problem, say something so we can clear the air now. I won’t bite,” you assured him.

He didn’t look convinced. “You’re a killer…”

Your lips curled into a grin. “What do you know about me?” He made a few stuttering sounds that told you plenty. “Yes, I’m a killer. But I have never killed anyone who isn’t an Alpha. You are a Beta. You’re safe. I have no reason to kill you. I don’t even have a reason to hurt you. So, let’s keep it that way, and go outside, yeah?”

“Okay.” He nodded, turning to leave and led you towards the doors that would take you to the yard. He made it all of three steps before he stopped.

Groaning, you shook your head, looking up at the ceiling with exasperation. “Now what?”

Slowly, he turned to you again. “There are Alphas outside.”

“You worried I’m gonna kill them?”

“I’m more worried about what they’ll do to you, actually.”

Lowering your head, you looked him in the eyes, surprised. “You’re worried about me?”

It had been awhile since someone had worried about you…

He shrugged. “There are a lot of them out there. The guards don’t do much to break up fights. They only care when it looks like the fight might lead to someone getting killed. I doubt they’ll care much if you get cornered,” he noted. “And while I know you can handle yourself, I don’t think even you could fight back against tens of Alphas.”

Lips curling into that grin once more, you shrugged. “Why don’t we find out for ourselves?”

“Seriously?” His eyes were wide with fear. Fear for what might happen… and fear for your clear insanity. Only someone with no brains would wittingly and willingly put themselves in a potentially deadly situation, which is exactly what you were suggesting.

***

There was a chill in the air as you stepped outside. You tried to take in your surroundings first, ignoring all the eyes that turned your way. You noted the huge walls that covered any view of the outside world. You could barely see the tops of a few tall trees. There was nothing you could see that would suggest where you were.

Giving up on the outside world, you turned your attention to inside the walls. The yard was akin to other prisons you’d seen and been in, but there were a few differences.

For starters, the place was open, and big, and surrounded by the large walls. There were a few spots people could sit and huddle together in an attempt at finding privacy, but the majority of the space left everything on display for the watching gazes of the guards up above.

Walking the cat walks high above the ground, armed guards watch the inmates closely. Though, you noticed how a large number of them were now focused on you.

Scoffing, you turned your attention back to your surroundings. You noticed the two basketball courts, the field which was surprisingly covered in a thin layer of lovely green grass. There were benches and tables, some under cover but mostly not, all of them made from concrete. In one of the far corners you could see the minimal makings of an outdoor gym- which consisted of nothing that could be removed or used as a weapon, everything once again bolted down or made from concrete.

Considering who was locked up, and why, you were amazed at what was on offer. Then again, you remembered what this place was used for. The people here, the prisoners, they were here for life. They were too dangerous to be out in the real world.

If they’re dangerous, why aren’t they just killed? It depends.

Every person behind the tall and impossible walls had knowledge in their noggins. Some of that was useful, some of it was deadly. The people who funded and ran the prison wanted the prisoners alive. The hope was that they’d be able to fish information out of them.

But there were a few who legally weren’t allowed to be killed, no matter how dangerous they might be. By a few, you meant one. By one, you meant yourself.

It was an international law that no Omega could be killed. Your breed was rare, to the point of almost extinction. The only way to make more was for Omegas to breed with Alphas. So, it didn’t matter how many people you killed, you weren’t getting executed anytime soon.

That was a positive to your genes, everything else was pretty much a negative.

While you’d learnt to stick up for yourself- to dangerous and deadly levels- most Omegas were push overs. There were camps where Omegas were hunted like exotic animals, and then sold to the highest bidder. Some people bought them to add to a collection… the rest were Alphas looking for a cunt to knot.

Your hands curled into fists as your mind wandered to those dark thoughts. You despised Alphas. You hated them. They made your blood boil with a rage that sometimes literally burned you from within. You saw red at the thought of them touching one of your own. Forcing themselves on the unsuspecting, fragile and weak Omegas that couldn’t- and usually wouldn’t- fight back.

“Well, look what we have here.”

Bamby