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teruthecreator · 1 month ago

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blending my autisms together and sharing my opinions on the dialtown casts favorite rankin/bass stopmotion movies

#ignorance cloud on #dialtown #im not tagging everyone #happy end of september im already raring for the holiday season #im the most well-learned person on this topic so i do consider this canon. its canon to me #karen canonically likes stopmotion AND old christmas movies so like. this is the next step #mingus being a rankin/bass fan is a soulread but i do think it would work given her fixation on the past #and these movies did come out like. starting in the 60s #it wouldnt surprise me if she had an old dvd of rudolph passed down from her grandparents #(rudolph came out in 64 so like. close to the dialup)#i have a lot of thoughts on how the rankin/bass canon of stopmotion movies would happen in the dialtown universe #i do think they would retain their fleshheads. similarly to how the muppets arent objectheads #and also bc i think generally in media the concept of fleshheads took a while to be phased out #bc movies and cartoons take time to be made so there were definitely productions in the works before the dialup #that would then come out post-dialup

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caninecowboy · 8 days ago

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rapidly realizing i do not in fact like my sister at all.

#milo.txt #this entire weekend has just proven how opposite we are and how fucking clueless she is.#she called me on thursday night claiming she's the only one who's ever stood up for her and cared for her #and how independent she is #and this entire weekend has proved how far her head is up her ass bc she's so fucking helpless and #dependent on others #somethings she's asked me this weekend #she texted me prior to the trip asking me if i had a charger bc she forgot her phone charger #also asked how to use an address and her phone to get some place (''do i just plug it in or?''#this isn't helplessness this is her just being in her own world but i told our grandparents we would get to their #place around 10am and we showed up 2+ hours late bc my sister didn't realize that when you say 'im going to show up at 10' PEOPLE EXPECT YO #TO BE THERE AROUND 10 #we also just got gas and she INSISTED i pay for it #and started BERATING me for what i was doing #'you're doing all wrong why would you get that type of gas that's the wrong one have you never gotten gas before GOD'#and then got mad at ME for being like FINE YOU GET THE GAS #and then she had the audacity to be like 'but you'll still pay for it?'#also also. going back to that call on thursday night she said that she really doesn't like it #when our dad thinks he knows her but doesn't (as in he got her a new sweatshirt as an 'apology' gift #and she was like when have i EVER been materialistic ! when have i EVER cared about having things? NEVER!!#that's such fucking bull.#i have a vivid memory of her DEMANDING my parents to buy her a new pair of jeans #bc my dad had spilled beer on hers and no. washing them would not be sufficient #anyways. getting really pissed.

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vaugarde · 6 months ago

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"oughhh you can't like carmine, she's abusive, she says 'its not like i hit him' in one scene so she's toxic and bad and you shouldn't portray her in a sympathetic light!!!" speaking as someone who genuinely has a toxic relationship with his older brother... shut up lmao

#part of her arc is literally about how she's wrong about how she treats outsiders and kieran and grows past it #like yeah her behavior is a major contributor to his mental breakdown but thats... the point. that shes in the wrong #and tries to make amends for it #like man idk thats better than what my own brother's done for me skldfjslkdf #also tbh thats another case where im like ''what does the original japanese text say'' bc thats a very pointed phrase #its also only one phrase in a game where she's otherwise concerned for him and is bad at showing it #i would also say that line could be interpreted in different ways... like why are kieran and carmine in custody of their grandparents?#not their bio parents?#tbh i think ppl are just put off that theyre not perfect siblings and dont do therapy speak lmao #im also a lot more forgiving to lines like that when theyre coming from characters who are very obviously wrong #like its not just a throwaway line that gets disregarded or seen as ''hehe CLASSIC carmine!'' no her relationship with kiki is strained!!#idk. reading wc and having to read jayfeather emotionally abuse a baby orphan with zero consequences will make you much more forgiving #of characters like carmine #echoed voice

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blueskittlesart · 2 years ago

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POST MORE SWORD OF FATE PLS IM BEGGING

i have very little in terms of actual art LMAO but i CAN explain the sword thing because i checked and i did in fact never make this plot point public. i struggled for a while with creating a villain for this story until i realized that. i put "sword" in the title of the game. of course it has to be about the fucking sword. DUH.

so i want SOF to deal very heavily with religion, specifically the way in which hyrule's religion forms post-sksw but pre-reincarnation. i've placed it on the timeline directly after sksw, making it the first actual reincarnation in hyrule. what this means is that there's no actual proof yet that the reincarnation thing is real and not just an insane bluff on demise's part, and so several key characters including link and zelda barely believe in hylia or demise at all when the story starts. my thought with this setting's version of ganon is that he's the polar opposite of the nonbelievers. The gerudo don't really exist as of now, but he DOES come from the desert region of hyrule--specifically, he was raised in a cultlike offshoot of the sheikah religion which interpreted the hylia/demise myth completely literally and believes that a doomsday is coming, heralded by the foretold return of demise. Because of this, he knows more about the cycle and how to set it in motion than basically any other character. Crucially, he and his people are some of the only ones at this point aware of the existence of the master sword.

ganon finds. a sword. a sword which he THINKS is the master sword. and this theory is only reinforced when the sword begins to speak to him about his destiny and the salvation of hyrule. unfortunately it is not the master sword and he ends up basically a pawn in the greater plans of what's left of demise & ghirahim within that sword, manipulated into attempting to revive demise and destroy the reincarnated hero and princess. he remains in denial until basically the very end of the final battle, completely convinced that he is the true savior of hyrule and LINK is the one being misled. ghirahim is a very good manipulator lol

#i know that the sword like dies with demise in sksw or whatever but this is my game and i can do whatever i want so ive decided it survives #because i need a plot device. ok. work with me here #asks #loz: sword of fate #anyway the religion thing is something that i really wanted to explore bc it fascinates me. bc obv in later cycles everyone believes #because they KNOW its true and have like. historical evidence of it. but what about the first few times it happened? post-sksw they had no #way of knowing if demise would make good on his promise or not. i can see belief vs nonbelief being a very strong dividing factor among #early hylians. its fascinating to me. lol #anyways zelda specifically fully believes that the hylia shit was made up by her great great grandparents or whatever as a power grab lmao #link is kinda like whatever. sure the goddess exists i guess ill pray to her sometimes but like did she actually found hyrule? probably not #and ganon and his people are HARDCORE believers. like to-the-letter. because of this they have one of the most historically accurate #accounts of hyrule's founding (which no one BELIEVES is accurate at this point. but it is) and have managed to hold onto records of both #the master sword and demise when society at large has basically either forgotten or decided to ignore them #wow. i forgot how fun sof is to write about. holy shit

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cosmicterrorthe8th · 8 months ago

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Another Grant headcanon:

I think he wrote love notes when in relationships, and he went all out with like making the paper scented and stuff. But like he had no good perfume so he ended up using his horrible body spray. So like the lucky boyfriend would like find a paper reeking of the body spray like every once in a while.

Also I think he was someone who fell deep into romance because having a crush and feeling butterflies in his stomach was better than numbness. So he would pursue every crush even if he knew it would not end well because of the thrill of it. I think this sucked but I think he atleast felt like this is a normal way for life to suck.

#honestly I was thinking he continued the note thing with marco in college maybe?#and now marco likes the smell of the body spray even if grant found better perfumes cuz nostalgia #i think i am in my own la dee da world after this episode #where I think if willy takes a break from torturing the parents they should form a circle and become bffs #they should form a circle #toast to rebecca #and then just talk shit idk #i think they would be very funny as a group after they are done grieving #like cassandra would be like how could I have dated such a loser #he literally kidnapped like four of my exs ex friends and put collars on them when we were dating #and they would be like no its not your fault he is that manipulative #and then one of them would talk about their ex to comfort her #and then somwhow it would come out that willy is like the age of their grandparents #and cassandra would be like why did this senior citizen get me so bad #he told me to make him a sandwich and I #a multimillionaire made him a sndwich #this will probably never happen in canon #dndads #grant wilson #dungeons and daddies #the tags are their own seperate post at this point #dndads s2 #looking back on this(tags)#all the spouses knew willy as a nice guy who saved them #rebecca was the only one who suspected him so thats why he killed her #they must be feeling so duped getting tortured except for marco who saw him kill a man #cassandra has been feeling duped since heaven #this is killing me all of them are having conversations in my head now the comedy and the pain is killing me mostly the comedy #marco li wilson #grant li wilson

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michinekot · 5 months ago

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i felt like drawing Maru but I really don't have the energy to even color this sketch.

#that anon made me think Huh he sure is much less on my mind #Then I remembered one of my fave anime- Erased #I feel like “what if i disappeared from this world and how would it change my loved one's lives” has been done enough times already #but i have nothing to do with his canon story now. So I thought. What if he Really disappeared?#I never caught up with Madoka stuff but I remember something with this theme too and that girl chasing her to stop her from doing that #so i was like hmmmmm Cherry?#Like imagine chasing a dead person's shadow your whole life and when you almost grasp it #it disappears. wouldnt that be fucked up #I like happy endings but also can u imagine #Maru seeing his family live without him never existing. His mom is alive. His grandparents accept her.#Olivia never gets hurt or leaves the town thanks to Hana #Alex's life doesn't change at all.#Wouldn't that be heartbreaking. Hehe. No I wont do it but i want to put my thoughts somewhere #sorry friends I am chronically tired and i have given up on everything! goodnight #maybe. idk #doodles #maka #maru #oc

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dutybcrne · 7 months ago

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Kaeya oftentimes wonders what it must have been like, living in Khaenri'ah. Reading the tales of Khaenri'ahn heroes Jean's shared with him, of things he remembered his father mentioning, helped him picture it all. As did knowledge the Akademiya has of Dahri ruins he managed to get his hands on one way or another years later, during his visit to Sumeru.

#hc; kaeya #//It was really after meeting Dainsleif that the thoughts increased exponentially; and became almost painful #//Thoughts of what it could have been like; had he grown up a 'proper' Alberich; surrounded by family & the culture he'd been wrenched from #//Of what Khaenri'ah looked like in her heyday; of the countless people lost because of the Cataclysm living their daily lives #//He wants to learn so much more; no matter what it means #//He loves Mond dearly; but it hurts feeling that emptiness from being denied that connection #//Of losing his mother tongue the longer it went unused; of not knowing the traditions he ought to have celebrated #//Rites of passage he must have missed in favor of Mond traditions; holidays; family customs #//Could he have had siblings? Cousins? Aunts; uncles; GRANDPARENTS???#//What would his upbringing have been like? Strict? Lenient? Would they have accepted him as he was? No mask necessary?#//Could his father have truly loved him so closely; instead of keeping him at arms length like he KNEW they'd have to part soon?#//That he didn't want to grow too fond of his own child because he could lose him any moment? (is it a wonder kae does the same at times?)#//What would it have been like; being a Knight of Khaenri'ah? Surely he would have given Khaenri'ah his heart; like he had for Mond #//If Khaenri'ah still stood to this day...would he; Diluc and Jean have still been friends? As fond and close as they once had been?#//Logically; he doubts that; but his foolish heart likes to think the three were MEANT to meet; one way or another #//MEANT to have that friendship they'd once shared (before he went and ruined everything with Diluc)#//Surely they would have found a way to make it work; no matter the distance from Khaenri'ah to Mondstadt #//Maybe they could have bridged the gap between the godless nation and the people of the Anemo Archon #//Ahh; but that's wishful thinking; now wouldn't it be?#//He likes to wonder how it would have felt; having that certain loyalty to his nation; not torn between his family's past & his current on #//Would he have been happier; had he been born to and raised in that nation? Rather than left to live in this one?#//Though he'd have to wonder if that would be true; considering the Archons' treatment of them in the end #//No doubt war would always be looming on the horizon; and if Dahri records were right...Celestia wasn't their only issue #//Still; he can't help but dream; and with a certain; aching longing at that

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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months ago

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#its so weird. i feel like march 5th went on for more than a day somehow. i guess that's just bc we were awake for just abt all of it #my dad wanted to start doing things immediately so he was calling and scheduling all day. we went to the funeral home we went to the store #and it was weird bc as we were moving around it was like wow we r a 4 person family now. this is it. and theres so much to do after a person #dies. or at least there is when they were loved so much and jesus christ my mom was one of the best ppl a LOT of ppl knew. she did so much #for so so many ppl. and with her childhood she had every reason to b a fuck up but no she was kind and selfless and amazing. her mother is #trying to bask in the attention of her death when its like: truely go fuck urself. her being such a good person has nothing to do with u. u #treated her appallingly. fuck off. and fucking everyone knows it. god. she is a product of her grandparents kindness. and it sounds like her #dad was amazing like her. but he tragically died in a car wreck when she was 3. she was in the car. no one in my mums family believes in a #god now. too many bad things happened to the shining gems in a collection of wild alcoholics. but its not all bad. my family's staying close #my dad is taking it hard bc this means hes alone now and my mum took care of so many things bc she was so smart and he feels so dumb. he #feels he didnt deserve her. hes working on giving more hugs now. and hes using us to anxiously talk things out the way he did with mom #which is good. i cant imagine if this happened when we werent 3 adults and he was windowed with 3 kids to raise himself. and its funny. were #saying things we never would have told her. we looked thru pictures of her and she was so so beautiful. a total smoke show. my parents were #a cute couple who produced cute kids. and my mom had trouble communicating and being affectionate tho we knew she loved us there was #distance. theres a pic of my dad pulling her close and shes being tippef towarf her while standing away and thats indicitive of their #relationship. they were 2 partners who lived together independently and that worked but its sad bc my mum couldnt b vulnerable in her #expression. ppl r being so kind tho. ill be in ohio now for like 2.5 more weeks as the funeral stuff shakes out. we have to have 2 bc she #grew up away from her and so many ppl loved her in both locations. she was a popular lady. its so weird to b here on pause. but i feel clear #in my head. i think this will change a lot of my outlook on life. its nice to focus on the person she was and not the horrible 12hrs where i #saw her half dead. i cant imagine how awful it was for my sisters and dad to see her downslide into death. she didnt expect this to b The #Fever that killed her but it did and now she'll never finish a million things. and the house is full of pill bottles and all her junk and #unopened amazon packages and a truck with the fuel left on empty. bc she was an absent minded goofball. ay. well miss her so much #unrelated

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pears-trinkets · 3 months ago

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#really randomly fell down a weird rabbit hole today #i was watching the X-Files and finally felt like reading up on david duchovny #like i see u fellow slav what kind of slav are you #so i opened up his wikipedia article and saw that his dad was jewish and from ukraine and went like AHA WE ARE THE SAME #and just out of curiosity looked up the place he's from because im curious about jewish shtetls in the ukraine #because my whole family except my biological father is from several of them and i thought hey maybe they were neighbors #which they fucking are omg theyre just 20km apart #my greatgreatgrandma is from makhnivka which i even found articles and history about and how the jewish population grew & declined #even though i did not find any steinbergs in the archives #anyway when i read up on Berdychiv where duchovnys family is from it said #early settlement by the Chernyakhov Culture #which was an archeological culture between 200 and 500 CE existing at the same time as the roman empire #....... is this how i finally find out where my name is from??????? like?????????#i wish i knew so much more than i do #like i only found out that im not russian i was just born in russia like 7 years ago or so??? because my mom never tells me anything #all the information about my great great grandparents and where theyre from is from my grandma #and her dementia is really bad now and shes just angry and screams and calls people names #my russian is too bad to properly read up on stuff like that and theres barely anything in english or german #i just want to know idk #but genetic testing is too expensive and also very america centric and the only family i have in the us is super conservative #i had to block them on facebook when my grandma made me write to them once over 10 years agl #and i know a huge chunk of my grandmas family moved to israel too so i dont want anything to do with that either #although id be curious if it would actually find my half siblings i found out about also like 8 years ago #i just wish there were more archives and more people i could talk to about this #on my grandfathers side theres nothing really left #my grandfather passed suddenly and apparently before he did he took ALL THE FAMILY PHOTOS AND DOCUMENTS somewhere to maybe digitalise them #but we dont know where so theyre literally gone for ever #but his whole family was from kiev and is apparently named after this culture era #his dad was a higher up at a sugar factory and i still cant find anything #my grandma had so many cousins and they were so interconnected and knew so much and i literally just have my mom and no one else

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idkwhattocallmyselfs-stuff · 3 months ago

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Broski’s, I just watched a movie at my dad’s (and mom’s but my dad is the one who texted me about it) recommendation and I looked it up expecting to find some feminism, maybe some shit about the creepy, grapey* vibe a character (the villain of the story) gave off, maybe some love for the intelligent queen who kept fighting to get herself out of a truly horrific situation, no matter the cost, or especially for her sheer badassery at the end of the movie, and instead just found thirst posts and fanfic for aforementioned villain? :/ because I want some of that previously mentioned stuff on Red Eye, but now I’m just lowkey mad >:-/

#I’m also mad about the number of women in this movie who apparently just let shit fly under their radar #cause no self respecting woman in real life would see anything those attendants did and just go on with their evening #for instance when I was like 12 #12!#I went out for dinner with my grandparents and out waitress looked like MAYBE she MIGHT have been sad at some point in her day #(slightly red cheeks and a smile that only barely reached her eyes)#and I spent the whole meal tossing around in my head if I should ask her about it and made sure she got an extra large tip #and I. was. twelve.#there is no way that a fully aware adult female #would irl see any of the things the attendants see in this movie and not take her aside and check up on her #especially with how clearly she fears him #or at the very least show suspicion that something wasn’t right #that 11 yo is the realest bitch in the movie #in conclusion this movie was written by a man #😂#so back to what I started with #I want more content on the hero of this story #and I want more hate on the creep #is that too much to ask? 😭😭😭#anywho #red eye #red eye movie #lisa reisert #movies #rants

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ryuseitai · 4 months ago

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so nervuos for tmrw bc im seeing my cousin

#i love her so much But #Its my dads side of the family and i dont see them often at all and everything is always so awkward and #they dont know i dropped out of school and everytime my grandpa sees me he asks about school #and i havent seen him since before i Would have graduated this past may #like i would be graduated hs right now but #im not SO IF AYNYNE ASKS ABOUT IT IM GONNA LOSE ITTTT #god #hopefully my grandparents just wont be there Idk why they would bc im just going to hang w my cousin #but they tend to jumpscare me sometimes when i go out to see her #Gahhhgaaahhhhhahhaooouuoououou #i could just tell the truth bc idec about them knowing i dropped out its just embarrassing bc i lied for so long #buti just did bc when i first stopped going to school my mom told me not to tell anyone on that side of the fmaily..so..#i dont think shed care anymore either but its just been so long and ive never told them Augh #and my grandpa really wants me to go to college which i straight up just dont wanna do. not rn at least #and id need to get my ged first which ive been procrastinating on the entiire year Oopsies #my aunt always tells me not to listen to him thoughand that i dont have to go to college if i dont want to i am grateful for her..#shes always protective of me from him LOL i love my grandpa and he means well and stuff but #he will just say anything #and he always makes me cry in public or at family gatherings bc he starts talking to me about my dad #i knowppl just aska bout like school and plans for the future and stuff bc they care but i wish they wouldnt bc i do not know anything #i dont know a single thing about how my future is going to go or what i even want it to be or how im going to live and its stressful enough #already when im not being interrogated about it #Like lets just talk about something else. Lets talk about enstars #Isnt it crazy that shinobu has gone going on 15 months without a new 5*?..i think its a little crazy and i miss him

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toestalucia · 5 months ago

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terrible mood -> thinking about captains & alliahs mess of families -> immediate improvement

#stardust speaking !#gbf spoilers #tau'luk who kidnapped their aunt & is the reason captains grandparents are dead & mom&dad who chased after him #captain whos been chasing a letter & not been told anything about their family until they actually got involved with istavion #alliah whos big sister was treated like a weapon and herself a pawn 'for the sake of the skies'#unifying the skies (against the otherworld) and constantly being told that version something something something #something something tau'luk offering a political marriage something something allys descriptions of the true kings room before vs after #captain&co invited her to breakfast something something #thinking about tau'luk & mika too............that day i stopped being a monster and became a mother.......#that conversation in general in how tau'luk speaks about pholia............#rubs temple theres captain & alliah && captain & cain things i must write #captain who jumped after ally cain who stopped at the edge. cains whole 'if i had taken another step i couldve followed/been with captain #&abel'. fkd up fate intro like what the hell.....................#captain & cain reckless duo is funny to me tho. but also his sr where he protects the kid and captain has to take the role of shielding the #attack. thinking about that sometimes #latest update cain was the most evil thing ive ever experienced why would u HAVE HIM SAY THAT.............we shouldve taken him w us #vira was evil too but cain was the point where i realized that it Wasnt just us who lost ppl #i have to do a thing & then finish reading seox skill ep + transcendence and then ill come back w eternalsposting #i promise and swear ill read golden knight & holiday cains fate eps before i read dark unit fate eps

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autumnoakes · 5 months ago

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i hate that people seem to value my potential worth with a bachelor's degree ("you'll make more money!" as if my degree program isn't one of the least useful degrees if you're not going into med school) over my mental health. as if monthly OCD-induced and autistic meltdowns aren't bad enough.

it's not like i'm a semester or two away from graduating. i have a couple YEARS left. i'm still technically in my third year in my degree. i can only manage 3 courses at the very most and any more causes me to burn out and my executive dysfunction plummets

#vent #this isn't even mentioning the fact that i NEED. to get out of this house #it feels so selfish to say that but i live with people who either can't or don't want to actually learn #to better themselves #so i live with an extremely ableist person who would rather call my grandparents lazy over acknowleging the fact #that my grams does indeed have several disabilities that cause chronic fatigue and pain #or yells at her (autistic) son because he interrupts her in conversation and doesn't ask about her day #like.... sorry your rsd is so bad you have to passive-aggressively mention how you feel like no one cares #but don't be surprised when you move to the US to be with your partner and you never hear from your son again #not unless YOU call HIM #i can't tell my mom this because this is her sister i'm talking about and those two are so close #i kinda just want to sink into the void rn. i don't know what to do #i really hope i can get my autism assessment done in july or august and then i can maybe not do classes in the fall #i need to speak to a councellor and then my academic advisor #but i think i have enough courses to graduate with my associate's degree #and then i can go to the employment services agency for help finding a job #because it's. it's bad right now #long list of jobs i've applied for and it's like they haven't even reviewed my application #only one of them just went 'nope' and i was like 'okay cool thanks for the email you did not send'#edit this woman is also dating a trump supporter so like

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magdaclaire · 1 year ago

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my parents being fucking weird has ruined so many of the activities queers typically salivate over

#my mom and dad used to go axe throwing with my aunt and uncle once a week #my uncle built a forge out of cinder blocks in my backyard and we moved it with us after for like ten years #my dad forged for a long time #even like. making and serving alcohol or some shit. my dad is an alcoholic who used to make his own mead #cottagecore ass lesbians?? my mom was an apothecary and my dad has always had a garden #dark academia ass gay people? my parents get into ethical debates to pass the time when they're in line in stores #art or singing or dancing? my mom was a theatre major her first time through college. we do that here #my mom used to customize jeans for her friends free of charge bc she could just draw on them to stim during long conversations #my siblings and i split up roles in musicals before we start them bc of my mom #dancing is about my grandparents but anyway they were competitive line dancers and that's not the only dance they did #everybody in my family has adhd and/or autism and there are no safe interests in this house #and my siblings would probably say the same thing about shit that i've hyperfixated on in the past that they cannot look at bc i #talked about it too much. i know enough about literature to make any normal person fall asleep. i have a borderline encyclopedic knowledge #of big cats. i literally read a series of encyclopedias as a child because i wanted to have a base knowledge of most things #how was i not diagnosed !!!!!! how did no one diagnose me !!!!!!!#and it's bc everybody in my family thought it was normal for me to read at a collegiate level in first grade. please be so for real rn #this turned into talking about my family's autism but isn't that what it was always about lmao #mer rambles

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dawei-s · 6 months ago

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Close to my grandma's age when she had my dad literally wtf

#*p #She gave him up for adoption good for her #Side note she is my favorite grandparent #Been thinking abt it a little more recently as I'm staying with her rn #Also rlly been thinking about how my grandma is losing her memory and whatnot but she is still just as kind and enjoyable as before #But when this happened to my (non biological) grandfather he was so fucking nasty. Hmm okay rant incoming once again just need somewhere to #Is been resting inside me for years and I think maybe I should just get it out finally so like don't read. I mean you can if you want but..#recently I realized that he hit my dad when he was a kid and so now I hate him hate him #My mom's always hated him too because of the way he treated my dad's sister versus him #She's so spoiled god #Once my mom told me how they both came to the airport and when my dad arrived he didn't even get up but when she arrived he got up #Before she even was there and greeted her with open arms like hmm okay #And the his computer screen savers was just a sideshow and ofc most if not all of them were her and not one was my dad #Back to the she's so spoiled comment she literally just took whatever she wanted when she came to my grandparents house #I'm not even kidding it was even their cars #Oh she took all of my dad's legos without a word to him. He wanted to give them to my sister so he went to find them and they just weren't #Like you couldnt have even asked ??Think she took his chess set too maybe. Yk lots of things like that #And this is kind of why I was born now that I think about it #My mom felt that my dad didn't have anything of his own so she wanted him to have a kid. Like she wouldn't have had a child if she didn't #Think that #Why did she tell me this anyway #I dint mind but I think lots of parents would not tell their kids that #But yk there are some things she could keep to herself. Like did I need to know where and after what meal I was conceived. No not really.#Wait no I'm literally in the exact room right now aren't I....#How did I get here in my rambling damn it I did not need to think about that

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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months ago

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#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad #bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young #and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder #but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small #and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible #grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing #and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is #probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a #fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong #with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality #and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever #as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun #its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to #read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like #yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess #i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she #clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate #unrelated

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