#that it actively cuts off the air flow to your brains

[ohohoho-nyohohoho]

actually the funniest shit about jc bashing is that the antis can never make up their minds about how much power jc has.

like when it comes to jc not defending wwx + the wen remnants, all the arguments about jc + ymj being weak are Wrong, because Actually jc + ymj are super strong and can tank all political scandal and jc just didnt defend wwx + the wen remnants because he sucks shit.

but when it comes to ppl calling jc by his birth name, suddenly thats bc no one respects jc ("just like he deserves!!!!"). and then when it comes to both past and current jc, suddenly his cultivation was and still is Super Weak and he was and still is Only Mediocre and ymj was and still is also Only Mediocre and For Losers and also no one respects them.

like kings, make up your minds....either jc was strong enough to be able to defend wwx + the wen remnants (and just didnt want to), which logically entails a level of competence and people respecting him.....or jc is incompetent and no one respects him, which logically entails that he wasnt strong enough to be able to defend wwx + the wen remnants. you cant have it both ways

[fallintosanity]

re the WIP Ask Game, my main interest is of course Providence, but I don’t have any questions about it per se.

Just wanted to leave you a note here to say that fic has been on my mind a lot lately since playing Rebirth, and that at multiple points during my playthrough my brain went immediately to “omg this is giving me Providence vibes!!!” which honestly is a testament to the amazing handle you have on all those characters.

Honestly, any little anecdotal tidbit you’d like to share about that fic would water my crops haha, but if you can’t just want you to know I’ve enjoyed it immensely. The Fifth Act left me wanting MOAR and you took that verse and made it your own; I love it just as much.

Oh wow thank you! that's an amazing compliment <3333

I've had tons of fun with this wild AU-of-an-AU myself and I'm still not ready to give it up. All the real-life stuff aside, a big part of why I stopped updating Providence was because I ran into a really, really bad plot snarl. (Which is not uncommon for me tbh; the second-act swamp is REAL 😭 ) Essentially: too many characters pulling in too many different directions, and at the same time too many other characters snagged in place and holding others back.

But! the good news is that I finally - like, just a couple weeks ago - figured out how to untangle one of the plot threads, which has given me room to work on the rest. Wish me luck...! 🤞

WIP ask meme!

...okay and also just for fun, have a scene I wrote and then cut and which has a small chance of ending up back in the fic idk we'll see

~

The Seventh Heaven hummed with activity, its regular customers scattered around at their usual tables, while newcomers and unfamiliar faces surrounded the bar. Tifa worked the taps, wearing her usual black leather vest and skirt over shorts, her loose ponytail swinging as she moved with brisk efficiency. “Order for table six!” she called, and Cloud shouldered his way through the patrons to take the tray she handed him. 

Table six was Barret, Cid, and Vincent, with Nanaki curled up underneath and pretending not to notice Marlene trying to catch the flame on his tail. “Busy tonight, eh?” Barret chuckled as Cloud dropped the tray off.

“Tifa’s the most popular girl in town,” Cloud answered. He glanced over his shoulder at her; in her ruffled teal sundress and matching high-heeled sandals, her hair flowing loose around her arms, she was the brightest person in all Nibelheim. She caught him looking and smiled shyly, then quickly went back to serving two young SOLDIER cadets Cloud vaguely remembered from basic training. 

“That she is,” Cid agreed. “Speakin’ of, her pa wants to talk with you.” He pointed past Cloud’s other shoulder, to where Mr. Lockhart sat at a corner table with Cloud’s ma, Zangan the martial arts teacher, and Denzel. Ma waved cheerfully to Cloud, ignoring Mr. Lockhart’s scowl. 

Ugh. Cloud didn’t want to piss off Tifa’s dad more than he usually did. “Better get going,” he said to Cid and the others, and hurried over to the corner table. 

“About time,” Mr. Lockhart grumbled before Cloud could greet them. “You’re late, Cloud. You’re always too late.” 

“I kept my promise,” Cloud said, forcing his voice to stay level. The clear glass mugs of mako on the table gleamed like poison; he had to look away as Denzel picked one up and took a long drink. 

“Hah.” Mr. Lockhart slammed his own tankard onto the table hard enough that mako splashed everywhere. “You promised to take care of my daughter. Where is she now?” 

“I did,” Cloud protested. “She’s in Nibelheim. Safe.” 

No, that was wrong. Tifa was here, in the Sector Five slums, behind the bar in her white tank top and black miniskirt. Cloud glanced over to check, and Tifa flashed him a cheeky wink and a smile. 

Mr. Lockhart, though, glared at him. “How many times have you left her behind?” 

The words knocked the air from Cloud's lungs. “I didn’t mean to—” he gasped. “I never wanted—I’d give anything to—” 

The building was suddenly too hot, smoke burning Cloud’s throat as he struggled to breathe. Flames roared behind the bar, eating into the rafters, dropping cinders into Cloud’s hair. Tifa’s wide-brimmed hat hung crookedly from its cord around her neck, and her fringed leather vest and skirt dripped with blood. “I guess that only works for real families,” she said, her voice tired and bitter over the snap of the flames. 

This was wrong. Everything was wrong; Cloud had to get out of here. He reached for Ma and Denzel - except it wasn’t Denzel there, it was Cloud’s younger self. Cloud froze, and that was when Ma grabbed his arm, her fingers sharp as a Nibel dragon’s claws. “I won’t let you take him,” she snapped. Hatred twisted her face as she shoved him away. “Get out of my sight!” 

Cloud staggered backward. Something cold bit into his chest, slid through his lungs, and he looked down to see Masamune’s blade jutting from his ribs, red with Cloud’s blood. He tried to struggle, tried to escape, but Sephiroth’s voice whispered in his ear, You’re nothing but an empty puppet.

Cloud flailed, gasping—

—and suddenly the burning Seventh Heaven vanished.

~

[mkcannothelpyou]

disiuncta (Abyssal Hunters)

AK/Kinktober 2023, Day 15: “Sensory Deprivation”

The first major display of the night. A scene none but the Abyssal Hunters could realise, likely.

And Andreana, the only clothed woman left in the room, has volunteered her first-timer self for the most intense version that's been detailed to her, because she may as well jump in the deep end.

"Brave, aren't we, Cuttlefish?" Specter muses at her, all teeth and no reassurance.

"…" Skadi's just no reassurance.

Andreana closes her eyes and braces herself. "Okay. So you promise I'll be fine after this."

"Oh, you'll be more than—"

Gladiia judiciously interrupts, her authority ending Shark's jibing. "The severing of nervous connections, as with any other form of structural damage to the body, is well within your capacity for regeneration. Said regeneration, provided there is no interruption, will occur within seconds of the trauma."

Andreana nods. "Right." God, her pseudo-Captain is stunning. And way taller than her. The fact this woman is actively telling her the science behind pinching apart her spine is very surreal, very heightened icing on the cake. "Is my body gonna do anything weird while you cut my brain off?"

Gladiia's response is not a verbal one. It is, instead, a few measured paces placing the Captain behind Andreana, followed by two cold digits plunging straight into either side of the back of her neck.

Andreana gasps. It hurts. It hurts, but more than that, it is intimate. Palpable. Gladiia's thumb and finger cozily nestled inside her body's tissue.

"While I am no stranger to explanation, your questions are partially fuelled by your trepidation, Andreana. Would you prefer I briefly demonstrate the sensation instead? I may do so right now."

She may do so right now. "Yes." There is just no other answer Andreana could possibly give.

She feels that imposing presence behind her pinch decisively, and then she feels

she is a head on a body. She isn't anything down there, she can't bend, she can't move, she can't breathe. She can move her tongue and just about swallow, but no air flows through her throat for her to do anything with it.

Things start racing in her head, automatic fight-or-flight. What's her body doing? Is it slack? Is it standing? It must be standing or else her head would be falling. Wouldn't her legs crumple? Does the fact Skadi and Specter aren't doing anything mean she's okay? Specter's really delighted to be staring at her. She can't speak and she can't ask and nobody's saying anything.

Andreana knows her body's there, should be there. Anything could be happening to it and she wouldn't know. In fact, she doesn't even know what exactly it's like to have her body in the first place, she realises. She can't imagine it beneath her. She may or may not be starting to go faint

and then a few seconds have passed, and then things come back to her below. Oh. Gladiia's been holding her up this entire time.

A moment's pause, just to process all that. And then Andreana pants, very deeply. "Oh my god." She has a body, a whole-ass body, so this is what it was like.

"You know," Specter coyly says, onlooking the latent Hunter who's just had one of the most indescribable awakenings of her life, "you can technically survive your whole head coming off if it gets stuck back on soon enough."

"Don't," Skadi warns. "It's dangerous."

"Sounds right," Andreana just about forces out of her voicebox, still reeling from how after only losing it for a few seconds, every part of having her body feels so fresh. Wow, her lungs feel like heaving bags inside her—not for difficulty, just for the pure feeling of them existing. "So that gets… more intense the further up you go?"

Gladiia finally lets go of her as her panting abates some. Andreana sways a little on her feet.

"Further connections are severed with increased proximality to the brainstem, yes. That said, once again, I would consider the limit to be the plane resting on the topmost vertebra, which is what you just experienced."

"That's fine, I'm just… amazed." That you guys managed to gradate this experience.

"And turned on, clearly," comes a giggle from the peanut gallery. And it's true, Andreana realises, somehow she kind of has something trying to burst out of her shorts right now.

"That's weird."

"Ordinarily, I'd reassure you, but as far as I'm aware, we snuff out parts of ourselves like that for the sheer curiosity in our bodies. It's a uniquely Abyssal mode of intimacy, you know." Specter places a firm hand on Andreana's shoulder and leers into her face, filling Andreana's vision with her enthusement. "I think you're the first to be trained to like like it, and I'm including everyone who was permanently chopped to bits in that."

So Andreana's not just a freak of nature, she's groundbreaking about it. Seafloor-breaking. "Great."

[fishyfishhhh]

Struggling [lee know imagine]

(TW MENTIONS OF CUTTING AND MENTIONS OF SUICIDE)

It was a cloudy day and you were feeling really down. Lately you haven’t been feeling like doing anything that includes eating and taking care of yourself. You cut yourself off from a lot of people you used to talk too. Lots of people had became worried about and but you just simply told them you were doing fine and you had just been super busy that’s why you haven’t spoken.  You just sat in your bed starring up at the ceiling. Your thoughts haven’t been the most positive either  your mind would tell you things like ‘the world would be so much better of without you’  or ‘ you don’t deserve the people you have in your life’

You hated it. You hated the thoughts that would form in your head at night and day. You stared at your ceiling while laying in your bed. You didn’t feel like getting up at all you just wished the bed would consume you. You wished you told someone your feelings you knew you needed help, you’ve known for a while but yet you don’t know how to tell anyone. You talk to people sometimes through text but you never tell them how you are. Many people don’t believe your okay and have asked if they needed to call someone to get you help but for some reason you declined saying the same thing you always do “ I’m fine I’m just very stressed ab busy with work.” Which is a lie you haven’t been to work in a while. 

Your parents have gotten worried but you keep saying you’re fine to them. Your friends have tried getting you out of your apartment and have you get some fresh air but you declined their offers. There is one person who has tried almost everything to try and help you which is your boyfriend. He’s sensed that it wasn’t just you being busy so he’s tried his best to keep you active but that didn’t work. You get out of your bed slowly and walk towards your bathroom. 

You look at yourself in the mirror and the person you see doesn’t look like you. Your hair is a mess, eyes tired with bags under them, and a plain expression on your face. It hurts it all hurts you wish you didn’t do this to yourself you should have gotten help. You started to overthink again more negative thoughts flowing through your brain. You want to cry but you can’t the feeling is strong but not a single tear will form.

you have wondered how your death would affect people you’ve imagined what it would be like if you were dead. You didn’t want to but that’s what thoughts popped up. Your brain couldn’t stop these thoughts they just kept coming. You looked down to your wrist and saw the scars that layer there. You knew you shouldn’t do that to yourself but it was a reliever to you. You then suddenly hear a knock on your bedroom door. You have no idea how someone got into your apartment, maybe it was a robber or some criminal. 

“(Y/N) are you in there?” You hear someone ask from outside the door with a soft voice. You knew it wasn’t a robber you recognized whose voice it belonged to. It was lee knows you knew his voice very well it was calming to you. He always spoke in a soft way to you. 

“(Y/N) if you’re in there please open the door.”  He said again while lightly knocking on the door. You forgot he had a spare key to your apartment just in case you lost yours or he wanted to come over.  You had lots of trust in him so that’s why you gave him a spare plus you lose yours a lot. 

The door knob to your room started moving but your door was locked even though you’re alone you still lock your door it makes you feel safe. You stayed in the bathroom not moving at all, he can’t see you in this state he would think you’re weak or just a baby.  The thought of him seeing you in this state made you feel scared you didn’t want him to be disappointed in you.  You looked at yourself again seeing every flaw on you and how much you’ve changed. You loved your boyfriend truly. You loved him with your whole heart but you can’t see him right now at least not in this state.

You then heard the door unlock. Your door knob was made weirdly so if you turn it a couple of times in a certain direction it could unlock. It didn’t always happen but sometimes it does. You froze freaking out internally but not showing it on the outside you just stayed quiet.

”baby are you in here please I know something is wrong.” He spoke quietly in a way tugging at your heart strings. You wanted to cry for some reason. The thought of him seeing you like this makes you upset. You’re disappointed in yourself. He walks around your room then sees you standing in front of the mirror in your bathroom. He walks towards you while you can’t move your body won’t move.

”baby you look dead please talk to me I know something is wrong.” He says putting a hand on your shoulder the sudden touch made you flinch in a way. He removed his hand from and looked at you worried. You turned to face him trying to force yourself to speak.

”I’m fine I just have been busy with work you know? Sometimes it just gets a little overwhelming.” You say trying to sound like it wasn’t been days since you have spoke. “Baby your work had called me saying you haven’t been in forever and won’t answer there calls.” He knows your lying to him.

”I..uhm.” Words couldn’t form from your mouth nothing would come out other than useless stutters. 

“I’m worried about you (Y/N) we are all worried we want to help you but you won’t tell anyone the truth. May you please tell me what’s going on so I can help you it hurts me to see you like this.” He says to you the way he’s looking feels like he’s staring into your soul trying to find out what’s wrong. Tears start to form in your eyes. The tears burn it’s been so long since you cried. 

“I think I need help..” you say no louder than a whisper it was mumbled slightly as well but he heard it loud and clear.  “What kind of help baby?” He asks you trying to give you a warm smile.

you don’t give him eye contact you can’t look him in the eyes it would hurt. “I don’t exactly know..I just need help.” You mumble out to him he then hugs you. You want to hug him back but you can’t. “I’ll call an hotline if you’d like baby.” He says not letting go the warmth of the hug makes you wish he could stay hugging you for the rest of your life. You slowly nod your head at his question. 

“I’ll do that then I’m glad you can get the help you have needed i want you to be okay again I want to see you smile and laugh. I want you to be able to feel alive.” He says quietly to you, the words made more tears subconsciously fall out of your eyes. You’ve needed help but haven’t gotten in and now you finally will be able to. 

“Thank you.” You mumble trying not to cry even more. He pats your back to try and make you feel better. “Do you want to talk about what’s been going on and what you’ve been thinking.” He says he stops the hug and holds your hands . You nod your head but then you see his eyes go to your arms. His warm smile that he was giving you drops. Tears forming in his eyes. 

“Did you do this to yourself?” He asks gently brushing his thumb against your arm trying not to hurt you. He looks at the scars that lay on your arms the many small and large cuts deep and not deep ones. You don’t answer him. He then repeats himself again. “(Y/N) did you do this to yourself.” He looks you in the eyes but you look away trying to take your hands from his but he doesn’t let you. You see tears running down his face. Lee know used to have a friend that had gone through severe depression and they harmed themself. He tried his best to help that friend and he was able to stop them from harming themself for a while but weeks later that friend had committed suicide.

”I’m sorry lee know..” your voice shaking while saying the words. You know how much seeing this must hurt him. He hugs you again but tighter. 

“Please don’t leave me I can’t lose you I don’t want to lose you (Y/N) your the best person I’ve met you’ve made me so happy I’m so sorry I’m failing you I should have helped you sooner so you wouldn’t do this to yourself I'm so sorry please don’t harm yourself please please please.” He says his body shaking and his breathing uneven. Tears streaming down his face. 

“I won’t leave you I promise Lee know.” You say trying not to break down even more. “That’s what they promised..” he says to you

You then hug him back but then he stops the hug and runs out of the room. You don’t know why he left maybe you were hurting him to much and he had to leave. But then he comes back with a laptop and he drags you out of the bathroom and gestures you to sit on the bed. You do and he sits next to you opening the laptop and searching something. You look at the screen and it had a bunch of websites along with phone numbers. 

“I’m gonna call one of these for you okay? And I’ll get you all the help you need I’ll make sure you get better I’ll try and save you from all this.” He says to you turning to you giving you a kiss on the head. You just nod to him.

”I promise (Y/N) I’ll do everything in my power to help you but first I’m gonna call one of these I’m so sorry you have been suffering like this for so long I love you and I will help you, I love you so much and I can’t imagine this world without you no one can.” He says gently 

“I love you to lee know I’m sorry.” You say looking at him

he hugs you tightly not letting go. You hug back melting in his arms. The thought of being able to get help makes you hopeful for getting better.

”I promise.”

~PLEASE DONT RE UPLOAD MY WORK~

[zerogate]

West Point graduate Bill Haneke’s crisis was certainly urgent. He was serving in Vietnam as an adviser in Binh Thuan Province, based in a compound centered around an old French hospital. The Viet Cong were active in the area, and Haneke and other American advisers, along with South Vietnamese troops, did their best to make their position safe. Even so, at one point the compound was overrun. Scores of people were killed, but Bill and a dozen others hid in a bunker and survived. Further attacks seemed inevitable.

On November 13, 1968, Bill’s commander ordered him to leave the compound to move two fifty-five-gallon fuel drums. His superior followed him, and the two went outside the gate briefly, with disastrous consequences. A Viet Cong soldier was lying in wait, and at a critical moment he detonated a mine that blasted a crater and propelled Haneke eighty feet through the air, leaving him dangling limply on a barbed-wire fence.

The twenty-six-year-old’s injuries were grotesque. One eye was gone, and he had shrapnel in the other; his jaw was shattered, and bone and loose teeth obstructed his breathing. He suffered a head wound that exposed part of his brain. One leg had also been severed, as was part of the foot on his other leg. The carotid artery and jugular had been slashed, and with each heartbeat, blood would spurt out of his neck. He was aware that there had been an attack and that he was seriously hurt, but he couldn’t see, could barely breathe and was clearly dying. He tried to move, but he felt paralyzed. It was as though he were beyond help. Believing that he was dying, Haneke prayed, “Oh, God, help me.” Suddenly a soothing voice instructed him: “Turn your head to the left and relax. Have faith. I will help you through this.” He did as the voice said: he turned his head to the left, and this action partially staunched the flow of blood.

The explosion had alerted the entire compound, and several people ran to his aid, cutting him off the barbed wire. After about fifteen minutes a helicopter arrived with a medic. He received a tracheotomy to allow him to breathe more easily and was given plasma. What followed was a desperate forty-eight-hour fight for survival. Five times he was pronounced dead, and five times he defied seemingly impossible odds. At one point last rites were performed. Again he heard the voice urging him to remain calm. “I am with you,” it said.

Bill was transferred to a series of field triages, finally arriving at an evacuation hospital in Long Binh. But the medical team could detect no breathing or pulse. He was beyond help. He was covered with a blanket, wheeled into a room, and left for dead. That might have been it, but once again he heard the same insistent voice, telling him that he would survive and that it would see him through it. “Give them a sign you are alive,” the voice said. “It’s very important you do this. Do it now!” it urged.

He tried to cry out but could make no discernible sound. Incredible pain washed over him. He summoned every little bit of strength left in him and jerked himself, causing an intravenous line to pull over the IV stand. “Hey, this guy’s alive!” yelled a nurse. “Hey, doc, this guy’s still kicking.” They rushed him into surgery. He spent fifteen hours on the operating table and two weeks in critical care before he was airlifted first to Japan and then to the Walter Reed Army Hospital in Bethesda, Maryland.

It took four years and some two hundred procedures, but eventually he recovered sufficiently to have some semblance of a normal life, eventually writing a book, Trust Not, about his military experiences and his astonishing story of survival. It is a deeply spiritual account of a profoundly spiritual experience. Asked what the source of the voice was, Bill says it came from God: “It was a divine voice, and although I thought I was dying, it did settle me down and I wasn’t panicking quite as much.”

-- John Geiger, The Angel Effect

[90363462]

kupicoo/Getty Images

Here's Why You Like Being Choked During Sex

There is a thin line between pain and pleasure. Let's explore.

Ashley Cobb

Aug. 26, 2022 05:00PM EST

Two years ago, I hired a dom for my birthday. It was during the height of the pandemic and since I couldn’t go outside, I decided to bring the “outside” to me. This dom specialized in choking and considering I’d never experimented with it before, I thought this would be a fun way to celebrate my birthday. Choking had been something I wanted to try for years but was apprehensive about because I didn’t want to die. The sex expert in me knows that when done properly choking can be both enjoyable and safe but the human in me computes choking with harm. Plus, if I'm being completely honest, I didn't trust any of my past partners enough to even want to try it. What if they get overzealous and kill me by mistake? No ma’am, no sir, death by choking by way of sex was not going to be the reason I checked out of here!

Choking also known as erotic asphyxiation is a part of the kink known as breath play. Breath play is a BDSM-styleactivity that involves intentionally cutting off the air supply as a result, the person becomes dizzy and lightheaded. However, when not performed properly choking is dangerous AF and can lead to death. So, if choking is dangerous, why would anyone want to try it and how does that translate to pleasure? This is why I hired a dom, I wanted to find out why people liked being choked. According to a few of my friends, choking can intensify orgasms. During breath play, dopamine and serotonin flood your body, and the release of these hormones contributes to heightened sexual stimulation which is why your brain associates pain with pleasure. 

I’m not usually someone who enjoys pain as pleasure. For me pain is pain and pleasure is pleasure. I don’t like mixing the two, but since I wanted to explore a new kink safely, I was up for the challenge. If you’re curious about being choked, here are several tips I learned from my session with the dom that can help you explore choking safely. 

Must Have Consent

​Consent is an agreement between participants and should be clearly and freely communicated before engaging in any sexual activity. Prior to my session, the dom and I discussed expectations, choking safety, my safe word, and hard no’s. Consent and discussing expectations are extremely important with breath play to ensure both partners fully understand the health risks involved. Choking is a kind of play that requires trust and is never something that should be done without a thorough discussion first.

Establish a Safeword

Because I’m not creative at all every time I hear the word “safe word,” I automatically think about Kevin Hart and pineapples. So the safe word I chose for our session was “pineapples.” The dom explained to me that anytime I say the word “pineapple” he would immediately stop and check in with me. 

In addition to using a safe word, establish a safe hand signal—mine was a raised fist. Hand signals are good ways to communicate if your airway is restricted and talking isn’t possible. Having these safety precautions help both parties feel relaxed and safe. They also ensure that everyone is enjoying what’s happening during the sexual encounter.

How To Choke Properly

When it comes to choking, the trick is to aim for the sides of the neck, not the windpipe. My dom placed his hands gently around the sides of my neck just below the jawline. The front of the neck is not built to handle the full weight of another person. Applying pressure here can end up damaging your partner’s windpipe, leading to breathing problems and an emergency medical situation. Placing pressure on the side of the neck is where the carotid arteries control oxygen-rich blood flow to your head and brain which will trigger those endorphins. 

Speaking of applying pressure, you don’t want to start off too rough. My dom started with a gentle grip and asked my permission to apply more pressure. I can’t overemphasize how vital it is to start gently — especially if it’s your first time experimenting with choking.

Prostock-Studio/Getty Images

Education is Key

If you want to try choking but don’t want to go the route I took and hire a dom, then it’s vital that you learn as much as possible before experimenting. The internet can be a good place to turn to if you are serious about getting into breath play. One online resource that can be particularly helpful is FetLife.com, which is the Facebook of the BDSM community, and although it’s a social networking site, there are several discussion groups that users can join, and engage in open conversations about interests, techniques, and safety.

Aftercare

After our session, the dom gave me a big embrace and we verbally checked in with each other about the experience. Aftercare is key to every healthy sexual experience. It’s the simple step of gently supporting the physical come-down after sex, and checking in verbally. We discussed the session itself, all of my sexy highlights, as well as anything that could be adjusted next time during our next session.

I highly recommend exploring any new kink with a trained professional, like a dom or sex educator. Knowing that I was in the hands of a highly recommended professional helped to ease my anxiety and built trust. I’m also an avid supporter of sex workers. I believe in paying the professionals. Instead of taking the risk with someone who thinks they know what they’re doing, I hired someone who could provide receipts. And I’m so glad I did!

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Featured image by kupicoo/Getty Images

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Common Kinks & Kinky Sex Ideas - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›

Savage Love: How To Stay Safe if You're Into Sexual Choking ›

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What Is Choking and How Can You Do It Safely? | HelloGiggles ›

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Ashley Cobb

Ashley Cobb is an Atlanta-based sexpert, blogger, and HIV Activist known for her fun, down-to-earth and practical commentary. Her work has also been in Essence, Madamenoire, and other publications on the internet. Follow her on all platforms @sexwithashleyhttps://www.xonecole.com/safe-choking-during-sex/must-have-consent

[bigbadripley]

Chemistry - Ⅲ - Like a Stone

PAIRING: VALKYRIE X BISEXUAL!FEMALE!OC

Appearances: Student!Valkyrie, Student!Thor, Student!Wanda, Professor!Curtis Connors

Summary: Reese Majors decides to join a tutoring program hosted by her favorite professor for volunteer hours. She gets set up to tutor a girl named Valkyrie Brunnhilde, a bombshell she’s never met before. Reese finds herself in a world of trouble as she grows closer to the once stranger that she is meant to help with her classwork.

+18 | third-person omniscient | 1,726 words | Fluffy/Dash of Angst | College AU | Warnings: Light swearing, mutual pining, questioning of sexuality, virgin!OC, marijuana use 

A/N: I write new warnings for each part of the story. You are responsible for your own consumption of stories online. DL;DR. As always, if you find anything that needs to have a warning or I mislabeled something, please let me know~

Chapter list (ongoing)

Reese only realized how boring Dr. Connors' class was once she had something to look forward to. Her stomach was in knots at the idea of meeting up with Val after class. Is it a date? What is she like outside of tutoring? Will she be okay with me having to cut out at 3 to have my session with Thor? A million questions and thoughts buzzed through her busy brain. 

Reese wanted upright hands on the clock above the dry-erase board. Just five more minutes, and yet it felt like an eternity. She was so fixated that she was drooling on the hand, holding her face up. She knew the material that Connors was covering, so she was okay with not being attentive. 

Tick, tock, tick, tock...

Jefferson Hall at noon. Reese would have to book it as soon as class ended. The minute's hand was nearly there as the second's hand made another revolution around the clock. She obsessively counted the seconds down:

Five... four... three... two...

"Alright, that's time. Remember your homework on page 203!" Dr. Connors called out as Reese, and the rest of the students packed their books. She rushed out of the room like her life depended on it, needing to get to the dormitory on the West side of campus known as Jefferson. 

Once she got there, she frantically checked her phone to find that it was 12:03, but no sign of Val. Is it lame to be on time? I hope she doesn't see me as too desperate. She thought to herself. She decided to scroll through social media to give the illusion that she wasn't actively watching the crowds of students passing by. 

The time was 12:10 before Reese finally heard the accent she was pining for. "Sorry, I'm late. Had to stop by my place for something. You ready?" Val asked upon reaching her. Reese's eyes immediately flicked to her lips, watching the words flow through them. God, she's immaculate. 

"I'm ready," Reese replied, trying not to seem nervous. Without warning, Val grabbed Reese's wrist and began to run.

They arrived at a clearing in the wooded area off campus. There sat a giant bolder where Val planted herself upon their stopping. Reese breathed heavily, starved of oxygen from the run. 

"And here I thought you did track." Val laughed, poking fun. Rather than be offended by the comment, Reese realized that she had never mentioned that to her. 

"You've been asking around about me?" She asked, flattered. Val reached into her bag and pulled out a metal Altoids tin. From the container, she revealed a small hand-rolling joint. Reese suddenly understood what she went back to her place for. "Hopefully, you've been hearing good things." 

Val thoughtfully placed the joint between her plump lips and lit it with a hefty inhale. She held the smoke for a moment before releasing it into the open air. "I've heard a couple of things through the grapevine," She finally responds. "You smoke?" 

The answer that Val was looking for wasn't necessarily a yes, but any response that wasn't too uptight. If Val was going to get close to Reese, it needed to be established that she was as loose as Wanda said. Reese joined her on the rock and shrugged,

"I did a handful of times in school, but I would always do too much and fall asleep at parties." She said, followed by a laugh. 

Val laughed along, "That's too cute!" She responded. Reese's face turned red at the thought of being cute to Val. She held the joint between her thumb and index finger, attempting to pass it to Reese, but Reese hesitantly declined. It wasn't that she didn't want to, but every time she smoked, she coughed so much it would embarrass her. 

Val took another hit, inhaled, and to Reese's surprise, took her face between her hands. She brought Reese's lips up close to hers, nearly grazing them. Reese knew what Val was about to do, having done it before but never with someone as incredible as her. She parted her lips slightly, and Val blew the smoke gently into her mouth.

Their closeness gave Reese far more of a high than the actual second-hand cannabis. Once Val backed away, Reese immediately began coughing harshly. 

"Sorry." Reese apologized in between the hacks. Val let out another chuckle,

"Now I wonder if you're as much of a party animal as I was led to believe." Reese felt her head float, meaning she was a bit baked. "I've also heard you double-major in biomedical engineering and secondary education, minoring in organic chemistry. In other words, you're a big nerd!" She continued. 

Reese's mouth moved faster than her stoned brain could register. "Oh yeah? How about you?" She asked. 

"I started off undeclared, but I picked anthropology with a minor in history when I transferred," Val explained. Reese suddenly felt the need to make fun of her right back,

"So you're a nerd, too!" She explained, causing Val to laugh more. Reese couldn't get enough of her laugh and wanted to find more funny things to say, but she couldn't pull anything out of her mind. Before she could, Val spoke up again. 

"I also want to know more about your relationship with the archer." She asked. Val truly wanted to get onto the topic of her sexuality but didn't want to spring right into it. If Val could get the answer she wanted, Reese would be the type she was looking for. 

Reese shrugged. "It was a fun relationship while it lasted. It wasn't his fault things ended, but I just wanted to move slower than him, I guess." She explained. Val cocked her head and raised another question,

"Was it a 'he wanted to move in, and you didn't' type of situation?" 

Reese nodded in agreement. "Yes, but it wasn't that I didn't want to move in. I wanted to avoid the stuff that typically comes with living with your significant other." She tried to word it in a way that didn't outright give herself away.

After a moment of thinking about it, it clicked in Val's head what she meant. "Oh my Gods, you're a virgin?" She asked. Val couldn't help but feel a needle of disappointment at the idea, but she found it interesting simultaneously. 

"Yeah, yeah. Make fun all you want. I'm a late bloomer." Reese said, expecting more of the playful banter. 

Val shook her head, "No, I think it's sweet, actually. Do you mind explaining why?"

Reese took a deep breath, preparing to tell her things that nobody else knew. "Clint was my first and only long-term relationship, and I did love him, but it was a situation where love just wasn't enough. He was so patient with me, wanting to take things at my pace, but I couldn't imagine sleeping with him." She trailed off, looking at her hands. 

Val understood what she meant and thought it meant Reese leaned towards women, but she allowed her to continue. 

"When we started college together, I got a double major and a part-time job, so my time was limited, and I couldn't hang out as much or look at apartments with him or anything to further our relationship. I overextended myself, so I would have less time for him on purpose. Eventually, I ended things because I didn't want to hold him back, but he was still confused, so there's some bad blood there." 

In response to Reese not elaborating much about it, Val came right out and said it. "Another thing I heard was that you're gay. Could that be why?" Reese reflected on the question for a second, knowing the answer was simple, but she needed to go more in-depth. 

"I mean, I'm definitely more into girls than guys, but... there was so much love for Clint that I can't even begin to count that out. I struggled with my sexuality for a long time, and he encouraged me to find out for myself. I'm not out as bisexual to everyone, but I'm sure they've all figured it out one way or another." Reese finally put it all out there. She had never told anyone the whole story before and was surprised at how easy it was to open up to Val.

The woman smiled at her before she spoke up. "It sounds like you wanted something Clint couldn't give you. Don't feel bad, though. We all have to take time to find what we want." 

Reese wanted Val and didn't need any more time to find that. She wanted to kiss her so badly that it caused her to feel an unfamiliar ache. Val shared the same feeling but recognized that Reese being a virgin changed things. To get wrapped up with her would risk her wanting commitment that Val wasn't ready to give. 

Though they both looked at each other's lips with divine lust, Val was the first to stand up and suggest they head back to campus.

Tutoring with Thor was another session of work that didn't get done. Rather than study, Thor took an immediate assessment of his friend and asked how it went with Val. 

"It was fun. I probably won't see her again until Monday, though." She explained. Thor shook his head,

"No, no, no, no! That won't do! Alpha Phi Alpha has our annual toga party tomorrow, and you need to be there because Val will be there." He told her. Reese hesitated,

"How can you be so sure?" 

"Because she comes to all the frat parties, Reese's Cup! C'mon, you haven't been to one since you were with Barton." Thor exclaimed. 

Reese was taken aback by the old nickname before gathering her thoughts. "That's because he went to all of those parties. Is he going to be there, you think?"

"I'm sure he will be, but don't even worry about it! I'll be your wingman like in the old days at those high school parties with the terrible blue vodkas and hard lemonades." He said, seeming to want Reese there even if Val wasn't attending. Reese did miss having a friend in Thor, so she agreed to go on the condition that he finish the last hour of tutoring actually working. He did just that, making their agreement solid. 

[nerin010]

apologies op, but this concept has consumed my brain and now i need to get it out on paper. i'll be building off of what you had and adding personal ideas to it where necessary. hiding these under the cut because it gets long (assuming the cut even shows up)

plant: around noon (sometimes as early as 11 am or as late as 1 pm). not sung on days where the weather is actively detrimental to the plants (like droughts in the summer or blizzards in the winter*)

cold: about an hour (rarely two hours) after sunset. exact time varies by season, but is sung more during winter months.

air: either around 9-10 am or an hour or so before sunset and there is NO in-between. relatively consistent by season, but is definitely sung more during the season of love if the werdos are visitng.

water: depending on what monsters are awake, either right before sunrise or right before sunset. sung every other day or so, but otherwise relatively consistent.

earth: there's a more prominent mix of dinurnal and nocturnal monsters on earth island cimpared to most of the other islands, so it's usually played late enough for the nocturnals to join in, but early enough for the dinurnals to not be bothered by it in their sleep (which is to say, around 8 or 9 pm). played more often during summer months, and even more so during summersong.

haven: it's pretty hard to tell time in a volcano, but it's usually played every couple days around noon (give or take a couple hours).

oasis: tbh i have no ideas for oasis, so i'm stealing op's idea for this one.

light: light is one of the few islands with a primarily nocturnal residency, so its song is often sung around midnight, occasionally even pushing it to 1 am. this also happens to be when the aurora monstralis is as its strongest on most days.

psychic: this is one of the islands where time doesn't flow how you'd expect, but they still try to play it once every day or so. it's usually played around 2 pm, but rarely gets played at fucking. 3 am for some reason??? dont ask.

faerie: finally, one with a consistent time again! it's pretty much always played every other day around 3 or 4 pm.

bone: like fire haven, it's hard to get an exact point in time inside a fucking cave, so it's pretty inconistent. it does usually happen once or twice a week, though, leaving it one of the less-played island songs.

sanctum, mythical, ethereal: none of these have an exact measuring stick for the passage of time, but their songs all usually get played once every couple of days. except for sanctum, that's only played exactly two times every week; once at around midnight on sundays, and once at noon on wednesdays. (the monsters in magical sanctum usually do their song as a way of keeping track of time.)

the one i refuse to name for personal reasons: i am currently in my country music hater era (long story) so i will just steal your headcanon and move on.

seasonal shanty: this is one of those songs that's usually played whenever, sometimes only being sung once or twice a week, other times being sung multiple times in a day (usually during anniversary month). there's also no consistent time for when it's sung aside from "when the sun is up".

wublin: ok first off? nocutrnal wublins is an idea i never knew i needed. secondly, this is another island where the song is sung whenever most of the monsters are awake, usually landing at around 2 or 3 am on most days. i say most days, because sometimes it happens anywhere from 8 pm to 11 am, depending on the monsters and the mood.

celestial & starhenge: both of them have no consistent schedule for when their song is sung, and when i say that, i MEAN IT. seriously, it could be played at any point in time in the day and none of the other celestials bat an eye. it's usually played at least every couple of days (though celestial does usually play more often than starhenge did).

i don't acknowledge composer enough to get an exact say on when it was, but op's idea is absolutely amazing so i'm stealing it /affectionately /platonic @ that last tone tag

the colossingum is... weird. they usually sing daily at any point in time when the sun is up, but they do it in a really weird way compared to everyone else. it's something between a pokemon battle and any given friday night funkin song, and even then, that's assuming theyre actually singing. some days, the monsters sing along to various pre-recorded songs from the jukebox, including songs from our world, songs from the monster world that are less commonly sung (such as the loading theme or the playground/fjd exclsuives), and tribal island kayna's collection of vinyl-like records from the dawn of fire era that have the dof-exclusive songs on them.

tribal: tribal island has one of the strictest time slots for when their song is sung: once every day at exactly 8 am. the only monsters who complain about this time are the nocturnal earth island dwellers and kayna, who doesn't have enough experience with the modern passage of time to get a grasp on it quite yet.

gold and amber are sung at around noon, but the time often varies due to 1. the sheer quantity of monsters singing, and 2. the passage of time in the higher plane being a bit more wibbly-wobbly than most other dimensions.

most songs from the dawn of fire are sung at around the same time as their counterparts, though i will note that 1. since continent is actually 5 or 6 islands stitched together from the lens of the modern day, it's theorized it was likely inconsistent in timing. (it actually wasn't; it tended to follow plant island's schedule, in reality.) 2. party island wasn't nocturnal like light island is, so its times get flipped over, and 3. i already did starhenge, go read its shared section for more info.

*yes, plant island gets snowstorms, but it usually only happens between late november and early march (or the monster equivalent thereof)

MSM headcanon yelling part 4

I know I’m posting these a LOT and basically taking over the ‘msm headcanon’ tag but I love doing this so I ain’t gonna stop until I run out of headcanons.

Just remember the most important thing, that all monsters are species expect Legendaries and Celestials.

So, this episode is about.. the song!

I’ve already brushed this a bit in the ‘general society’ part, but this one goes into more detail of what it looks like.

Unlike they do in-game, the monsters don’t spend all their time singing. Each island plays the song once or twice a day. It’s the most important part of monster world culture. When it’s time to sing, everything is interrupted. Everyone who was working or in school drops what they were doing and heads outside to sing. The only thing that can interrupt a whole island from singing is any large event, like a ducking meteorite hitting the castle or something like that. However, not everyone goes out to sing every time. This could be because you’re a doctor and you need to save someone’s life. Or sometimes, you just don’t feel like it, or you’re lazy and sleep through it all.

Songs are often coupled with suprisingly intricate dances. Some individuals literally have whole perfect routines they spent their whole life building up.

Occasionally everyone gets bored of the usual song on their home island, so sometimes they decide to do ‘hey what if we changed x and x’ and they change the song a tiny bit to spice things up. Every few years they even go as far as to do something like the MSM: Recomposed” stuff. Now for some times of day I think the monsters on given islands sing (not all of them. Just the ones I have the best ideas for)

Plant Island- Midday, when it’s all warm and sunny and planty

Cold Island- Right after sunset so you can truly look at the stars in the big black ink

Water Island- As the sun starts setting

Fire Oasis- Very early like 6:30 Am or something like that

Wublin Island- Midnight. But midday for the Wublins, I headcanon that they’re nocturnal lol

Shugabush Island- Same as Cold Island

Composer Island- It’s heckling disorganised there. Whenever a new composition comes up someone just goes “hey y’all let’s do it now”

That’s all folks!

Not exactly sure what to do next so:

[yautjathiinkinggrounds]

This is my first asking for something but my hornee brain wants know more about a male yautja’s dreads ik they get freaky freaky if you mess with them

(☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞ but I wanna read how I could playfully tease them and how they’d react pls and tyy😚🥴

My Yautja dreads hc are pretty tame, and I am sure you’ve seen similar hc floating about online. But These are mine:

In canon Yautja dreads bleed when cut. So I believe they have blood vessels running through them!

And where there is blood flowing there are nerves too. So I believe their dreads have feeling.

So between Yautja mating it is not uncommon for the participants to play with each others tresses.

Bathing their tresses would be considered a very intimate bonding activity between mates or courting.

Touching the tresses can be viewed as lewd in public, so Yautja avoid doing it so much. (think readjusting your groin in public. not very appropriate right?)

The dreads can be used as a very useful tool for hunting too. They’re sensitive to changes in wind and temperature, that can become useful in stalking scenarios. So they always leave their hair untied at all times.

This provides very useful access for mates to tease and play with them.

Kissing the tresses is a good way to rile up your Yautja.

Rubbing on them, could give off the same reaction as petting their genetalia if the Yautja is aroused enough.

Some BDSM activities involve the tresses. (Whipping them, pinching them, pulling them, etc.)

Ooman mates are unknown to the sensitivity of Yautja hair and vice-versa.

Yautja’s quickly figure out playing with Ooman hair does little to nothing to the Ooman.

But Oomans take a liiiiitle more time for them to catch on the dreads can affect their Yautja.

Some reactions that are a dead give-away are the chirps the Yautja make when their hair is played with long enough.

They quiver and shake like they are being pleased sexually.

They purr intensely when their mates are gentle. And growl erotically when they are not.

Their  h'dui'se is changed when stimulated too. Yautja’s being born with keen sense of smell can notice this instantly, but Ooman’s take a little more time to notice.

When being railed by your Yautja, giving them a firm tug on the dreads, can make them falter if they aren’t ready.

And If given enough patience, one could even make a Yautja climax by only stimulating their dreads.

Other things Yautja enjoy is having their mates pant into their braids when fucking. The hot puffs of air tickle them in just the right way that go straight downstairs (if you know what I mean.)

Yautja dreads can be a fun activity in bed at any time. There are no known Yautja that do not enjoy a good tug at their hair by their mate.

[mxchellesworld]

Discuss!

Spencer Reid x Reader

Synopsis; Where the team discusses the question ‘do you kiss after head’, you find out Spencer has too little experience to answer the question so you help him out

Warnings; smut, oral (male receiving), sub!spencer, praise, slight degradation 

a/n; LMAO im so sorry for disappearing again life has been actually kicking my ass but anyways lately i’ve been thinking about subby early season spence so here we go,, hope you enjoy!

***

Another Friday night and the team was out bar crawling after an easy case. But this time all members were there as it reached 11pm which was rare. Usually Hotch and JJ would have been home by 10:30 and Spencer wouldn’t have been there at all. But there was something light in the air which had all parties concerned sitting packed in a booth, laughing after each sip of their drinks. 

Since it wasn’t your first rodeo together you knew how the night went. It started off with Rossi offering to buy the first few rounds, always whiskey but he made an exception for Penelope. Then again who would deny her anything. 

Once the drinks were flowing and lips got a little loose, the questions would start popping in at the top of your heads. However these were not your run of the mill, ‘hows so and so doing?’ ‘done your taxes yet?’ oh no. The name of the game was discuss where you would all think of a question which would help you dig just a tiny bit deeper into your coworkers sex lives. 

Maybe if you were all sober then you’d avoid thinking of each other in such positions, pun intended, yet in this state your prying minds were open and your stomachs were ready to grow abs from bending over in laughter. 

You raised the margarita glass up clinking it with a fork to get the tables attention. Everyone including Aaron had a smile on their face, ready to hear the intrusive question for the night. 

“Ok my fellow profilers, doctor, and tech genius,” you added pointing at Spencer then Pen, “Do you kiss your partner after they give you head? Discuss!” you finished in your most formal voice. 

Right as you took a swig of your drink the mixed responses of yes and no filled your small space. 

“Why wouldn’t you? You guys especially, if someones willingly trying to swallow then you damn well owe them a kiss,” Emily finished earning nods and ‘exactly’s from JJ, Pen, and yourself. 

“Ok but thats weird. I just can’t explain it but its a no go for me,” Morgan finished. This only gained him a scoff and raised voices, “Hotch man help me out here,” he said looking over to the man hiding his smirk behind the amber liquid. 

“I have to agree with the ladies here Derek,” he said curtly. 

The girls yelped and hooted at Hotch for siding with them while Morgan sat with his arms crossed being the singular person left out as even Rossi agreed. Meanwhile you noticed the presence next to you had shrunk back and wasn’t too active in the conversation. 

“So Spence do you kiss your partner after they,” you trailed off shaking your fist by your cheek and poking your tongue in the side. 

He coughed as he instantly sat up quicker. Even under the dim lights of the bar you could still see the blush creeping up from his neck to his ears and the slightest tint on his cheeks. 

“Oh I uh- I never-” he said looking anywhere but your eyes. 

“You don’t kiss them?” you said raising your brows. 

“No! I-i mean yes. I would I think b-but I haven’t had the chance to actually partake in such.. activities,” he finished finally taking a look into your eyes. 

You could tell he was waiting for you to laugh in his face for being so inexperienced but you felt far from it. If anything you wished you could be the one to show him things. 

That sweet boy had you wrapped around his finger and he didn’t even know it. Maybe it was his naivety considering how exceptionally smart he was. Or maybe it was the cute sweater vests he wore and now he nervously tucked his hair behind his ears. All you knew was that you wanted Spencer Reid and tonight was your night to make it happen. 

You hummed taking in the information, “Well that’s not a bad thing Spence. Everything takes time,” you said putting your hand on his arm for comfort and giving him a smile. 

Going to turn back to face the table you almost didn’t hear Spencer go to speak again, “Do you?” 

Got him.

“Why don’t you find out pretty boy,” you said with a wink as you downed the rest of your marg. In the corner of your eye you could see Spencer shifting in his seat, subtly moving his bag to cover the slowly growing tent in his slacks. 

As the night went by you couldn’t help but really give him a show. You had popped open a button or two on the long sleeve you had on, since it was getting stuffy in the booth. Though when you leaned forward and jutted your chest out, the soft inhale of a breath from the man next to you was just serving as motivation to get bolder. 

For the last hour you called it quits on the alcohol and drank a few glasses of water before you drove home. Spencer had been uncharacteristically quiet ever since your little interactions. 

The team had all gotten up to say their goodbyes. Rossi going by and giving everyone a kiss on each cheek. Derek having to quite literally rangle Penelope from talking to passing by groups on their way out. Then there were two. 

You turned to the side where Spencer was nursing on his coke, “Hey pretty boy, it’s late, let me give you a ride home,” you said grabbing your belongings. 

“Y-yeah ok. Thanks Y/n,” he said getting up. You’d noticed how he still had the burnt orange bag over his crotch. He couldn’t still be hard could he? Well you’d love to find out. 

As gentlemanly as he was, Spencer opened the door for you to exit the building first. The whip of fresh night air cooling on your exposed chest and legs under your skirt. 

You unlocked your car and stepped in, Spencer waiting to hear the little beep signaling his side was open. As he sat down you heard him let out a little whimper. Your head shot over to look at him, you could tell from the flush on his cheeks he didn’t mean to let the noise out. 

Holding in your chuckle you started the ignition and pulled out of the lot, “Can I put on some music?” 

“Yeah I don’t mind,” he said looking over at you with his lips in a line. If it was anyone else, they’d probably think he was uncomfortable but you loved his tiny awkward smiles. 

The ride to his apartment was mostly silent besides a rare quip from Spencer about paper work or fact about an older building you had passed by. It fascinated you to no end hearing him talk. Spencer was a hand speaker, meaning he always used his hands waving them around and making gestures. The pale digits had you captivated. Probably a driving hazard but you couldn’t help but let your mind wander. 

You pulled up into one of the visitor spots and put the car in park. You looked over to see Spencer almost contemplating something. You’d seen the look on his face before when he was looking over puzzles. 

“Somethin on your mind Doc?” you said with a small smile. As cute as he looked when he was nervous, you’d never want him to feel uncomfortable around you. 

“Would you-,” he cleared his throat, “Wo- Would you maybe want to c-come inside?” 

“Of course Spence I’d love to,” you finished with a reassuring nod. 

As he led you upstairs you were giddy with anticipation. So what if nothing happened. He was your friend first and you were glad he was letting you into his personal space. Even if you wanted nothing more than to have him writhi-

“Y/n?” 

The door closing snapped you out of your thoughts. You didn’t even realize you were in his living room. The dark green walls and shelves bursting with books put a grin on your face, “Sorry Doc, just caught up in my thoughts. What did you say hun?” 

His brows practically raised to his hairline from hearing the pet name. While he was used to the names coming from Garcia they took a whole different light coming from your lips. 

“I was asking if you wanted water or something,” he said fiddling with the keys in his hands. Eyes darting everywhere but your face so you wouldn’t be able to see the flush rising on his cheeks. 

“No I’m fine thanks for asking though,” you said taking a seat on the worn leather couch. 

You reached for the tv remote making a face at Spencer to ask for permission. He nodded and you settled back turning on an old sitcom that played late at night. 

As the episode ended you both sat in silence. Again you didn’t mind but you could practically hear the cogs moving in Spencer’s brain. 

You were about to speak when he cut you off before you could even get a word out, “What did you mean by ‘why don’t you find out’.”

Gaining confidence you moved closer to where he was on the couch, slow enough for him to stop you in case he wanted to back out. 

“Well you have options pretty boy,” you said moving a leg to straddle him. Your hands instinctively going to his brown locks. You could’ve sworn you heard a little moan leave his chapped lips. Noted. 

“W-what are the options,” lust blown eyes looked up to yours. 

“One, you can put that mouth to good use on me,” you said trailing your finger over his bottom lip, “and let me cum over that pretty face.” 

His eyes shut hearing your words and you weren’t having it, “Nuh uh eyes on me honey,” instantly they were back on yours. 

“Or number two. I can suck you off and let you cum down my throat, but,” you paused making sure to roll your hips on his growing length, “ you have to give me a nice big smooch after.” 

The hands on your hips pulled you closer as he bucked his hips into you as you finished the sentence. It was clear which option was preferred. 

You moved to slide down in between his legs. You let your hands trail down his clothed thighs, causing him to jump. 

“Tsk such a needy boy,” you said mockingly, “Am I not going fast enough baby?”

“Please Y/n,” he all but whimpered. It was like music to your ears. 

Your hands went to his belt, looking up in his eyes for a final sign of permission. Once he nodded you quickly undid it and he lifted his hips to help get his pants down. You palmed him over his boxers, feeling the wet patch where he was already leaking pre cum. 

“Is this all for me Spence? Does the thought of my lips around you make you this hard,” you said taking him out of the striped confines. 

“Oh god please just,” he cut himself off. You could see his hands curling fists besides his legs. 

“Please what baby? I can’t give you anything unless you ask.” Your hands continued their task of leisurely stroking his length. 

“Fuck please put your mouth on me,” he rushed out, hips bucking to prove his point. 

The answer was good enough for you so you wasted no time in leaning forward and taking him in your mouth. Both of you let out content sighs as you tried to take him further. 

You looked up to see him with his head leaned back, eyes scrunched closes in pleasure. 

You pulled off with a pop, letting your hand work him over. “Better keep those pretty eyes on me before I decide you can’t finish.”

He looked down with a flash of worry, that was quickly replaced by a loud moan as you spit down on his cock before taking him in your mouth again. 

For a germaphobe, Spencer loved how nasty it was. He was thanking god or whatever higher being there was for giving him his eidetic memory because the sight below him was something he’d never wanna forget. 

Your eyes were teary and you had spit dribbling down your chin but he wanted nothing more than to give you more than just a kiss after you finished. Or well after he finishes. 

You could tell he was close by the way he was throbbing on your tongue. Again taking him out of your mouth you used both hands to jerk him off. 

“You’re doing such a good job baby. So good for me. You wanna cum in my mouth pretty boy?”

“God Y/n I’m so close please please please,” he whimpered out. 

“Cum for me baby, be my good boy Spence,”  you said before taking him down your throat. He was big, not girthy but long and it was a struggle but you’d be damned if you didn’t try to take him all. 

Hollowing your cheeks you bobbed your head quickly, egging on his release further. His hands finally found a place in the back of your head. Pushing you down further as he came. 

“F-fuck Y/n I’m gonna”

His moans and whines were a symphony of sounds you’d have on repeat in your head forever. 

You swallowed the salty release but before you could even wipe your lips you were being pulled up by Spencer placing his lips on yours. You moaned into the kiss, his hands gripped the sides of your face not wanting to let you go. 

The need for air made you both pull back. You looked at one another, chests heaving and looking like you ran a marathon. 

Then a sad look came across his face. 

“Spencer what’s wrong?” 

“You didn’t get any pleasure,” he said looking like a hurt puppy. Oh your sweet boy. 

“It’s ok baby, I can take care of myself,” you tried to shrug off.

He was quick to push you back on the couch, taking the spot you were previously in. His warm lips trailing down your exposed thighs. 

“I wanna do it, but only if you kiss me after.” 

[elysianslove]

what would the jjk characters’ reactions be if their girlfriend walked in on them jerking off 👀 or other way around, they walked in on their gf masturbating to them JSHSJSHSH

DJHSDJS THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS. it’s whore knee hours 😼 

nsfw under the cut, my loves! it’s really filthy. also, all characters are aged up if they aren’t already 18+. if there are mistakes in this im sorry vdhsdjs

ITADORI YUUJI 

walking in on him; probably screams or something tbh. he’s not used to doing it ever since you two got into a relationship and have been sexually active, but the past few weeks and you’ve just been so busy, and yuuji’s so needy 🥺 but he doesn’t wanna bother you 🥺 so he takes matters into his own hands literally and just settles back in bed, sweatpants down his hips, shirt lifted up to reveal his entire chest, and hard cock in his hand. he’s actually rushing through it because it somehow feels wrong and he just wants to rid himself of all this sexual frustration. he’s diligently and roughly stroking himself, and it’s really obscene: the noises his hand is making, the way his hips can’t seem to stop thrusting up, the loud grunts and gasps and whines that can’t stop leaving his lips. and just before he tips over the edge, as he feels his stomach tighten, he hears the door open and your cheerful voice greet him. he screams. like yells out, but he’s also? cumming? weirdly enough? he’s too dazed as he comes down from his high to mind your teasing smile, with his heart beating to loud in his chest, and he welcomes your pretty mouth kissing up the trail of cum he’d left on his chest.

walking in on you; gets really flustered but really cocky at the same time? when he came home tired and walked into the bathroom to wash up he hadn’t been expecting your body in the bathtub, touching yourself, moaning out his name. you’ve clearly been doing this for a couple of minutes because of the speed of your fingers and oh my god are you fingering yourself? he’d been quiet when coming into the bathroom, only announcing his arrival at the front door, and it doesn’t seem like you notice his presence. he watches as your back arches, hips pushing leniently into the curve of your fingers, and you let out a frustrated whine. no, sob. you cry out his name against desperately and yuuji doesn’t think he’s ever been this horny. the initial shyness and shock has long since worn off and all he wants to do is bury his fingers in your soaking cunt instead. when you cry out again, in frustration, and pull your fingers out, he immediately kneels by the bathtub, meeting your eyes with his as he feigns a pout at you and says, “aw, can my poor baby only cum on my fingers?” he’s pleased to see you’re not even a little shy about it when you frown deeply and nod desperately. 

GOJŌ SATORU

walking in on him; is not in the least bit shameful, just spreads his legs wider, throws his head back to let out another moan and says as he smirks up at you, “you’re more than welcome to join.” he’s not shy about masturbation, and he’ll even talk to you about it. this mf probably loves mutual masturbation as is. but anyway. you’d probably just left for the store, for ten minutes, and you come back and his head’s thrown back on the couch, cock in his hands as the sweatpants he wears have been pushed down to just beneath his balls. he’s being loud, like he’s giving you a show, and as soon as you enter the living room, he lets out a particularly loud grunt, thrusting his hips up. you’re not even sure if he’s dramatizing it or if it really feels that good. he’s doing it slow too, taking his time, thumbing the slit of his pretty cock and smearing the precum all over the pink head. he really is giving you a show, and god are you eating that shit up. he stares you down as he squeezes and strokes, and then, he says, “if your mouth’s gonna hang open like that, might as well put it to use and stuff it.” vdhjsdsjds gojo brainrot. 

walking in on you; is so, so, so teasing about it. if you’re doing it to give him a taste of his own medicine, expect to regret it when your ass is tainted with his handprint and you’re full of his cum. but if you really are innocent about it, he’ll tease you endlessly, saying things like, “pretty baby couldn’t wait for me?” and “so eager,” and “so needy,” with a grin and a tut. he lowkey highkey loves it when he comes home and walks in on your bedroom to see your legs spread out for him so nicely, your fingers stuffing your messy cunt, your nipples all perked up and your body covered in a sheen layer of sweat from the exertion. he watches for minutes on end, and when you finally notice him, and you squeak in surprise and attempt to cover yourself, he grins and shakes his head, grabbing a chair and placing it right across from you so he has a perfect view of your spread legs and says, “i wanna watch you cum.” he’s so. shameless about it omg. if you take too long though he’ll just swat your hand away and eat you out till you can’t feel your legs <3

RYOMEN SUKUNA

walking in on him; i don’t think he masturbates, like, ever. if he’s ever horny he will just grab you, pull you aside, and fuck you. like he’s not ashamed about it. even if it’s in public, he will find some way to put his dick inside you. but! let’s say you introduce the concept to him and it’s a day where you’d just left him alone for a few hours, so he decides there’s no harm in trying. he hadn’t expected it to feel this good. granted, it’s not your mouth or cunt, but he’s still fully in control of his pleasure. he kinda gets lost in the feel of it all that he doesn’t notice you coming back home. you stay so silent, and watch the whole thing as he throws his head back and cums all over his hand and stomach, and he does it all while saying your name and if that isn’t an ego boost idk what is. he gets so embarrassed, but displays it in a different way. he just gets angry at you basically, for catching him, and when you laugh at his reaction. last 😃 straw 😃 good luck walking tmrw <3

walking in on you; oh shit okay. listen. he will absolutely get mad. like wtf only i am supposed to give you pleasure??? if he walks in on you, like yuuji, desperately trying to fuck yourself with your fingers and finding no way to reach your orgasm, he won’t do shit. he’ll just stand there with his arms crossed as you fail to reach your orgasm for the nth time and it’s literally just humiliating at this point. you’re sobbing and your cunt’s a mess, your entire tight and trembling with the build up of arousal. you can tell he’s aroused too. you can see it actually, but he makes no move to satisfy himself, and you honestly think that seeing you like this is doing it for him. the breaking point for him would probably be hearing your broken voice just sob out a mixture of a chant of his name and please, just desperate and wanting. and then, oh boy does he give it to you. makes you orgasm so many times, makes you see stars all night, just as a reminder of who you really belong to. what a sadist i love him lol

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

walking in on him; he probably does it every once in a while because he’s a teenage boy?? (still aged up here). but he only does it to relieve himself, not for anything other than that, no ulterior motive. just to rid himself of, well, his horniness. probably the type to do it in the shower because he does not like any evidence that he ever did it. he’s hunched up underneath the water, the steady flow of it hitting his back, while he has one hand steady on the wall before him, and another wrapped tightly around his cock. he’s panting and gasping, and oh, megumi would make the prettiest sounds when he cums i just know it. probably looks gorgeous too. he doesn’t hear you come into the shower because he’s so close, shit, this feels so good — and then he feels your hands come around his waist, spinning him around and his hand’s still moving but his body’s gone into absolute shock. he hears you whisper, “let me see you, baby” and he just absolutely loses it. his face scrunches up, heat blossomed on his chest and cheeks as his hand moves rapidly on his cock, milking himself and spilling all over your stomach. when he’s well spent his head falls into the crook of your neck, and he’s just letting out tiny little gasps when you say, “you’re so pretty when you cum,” and god, is he in love with you. 

walking in on you; so. shy!!!!! omg!!!! you’re probably on your bed, on your stomach, ass in the air as you rub your clit. your thighs are smeared with your arousal and your hand and palm are outright drenched and megumi feels his mouth dry, his pants suddenly way too tight. you don’t notice him for a while, and he’s just too in shock to move, until you tilt your head and catch him staring. you lock eyes with him, then sink a finger into your pussy, your eyes rolling back and your mouth falling open into a silent gasp at the intrusion. megumi’s gone crazy like his brain’s malfunctioned. but that wasn’t even the worst of it. when you start to fuck yourself with your fingers, and then bring a second one inside, you moan out his name and he just succumbs to all his desires, walking slowly over to you and lightly massaging and caressing your thighs and ass, watching up close as you continue to fuck yourself. then, gently, he takes your wrist in his grasp and pulls your fingers out, lightly brushing against your soaked folds as he hums, then says, “let me.”

INUMAKI TOGE

walking in on him; he’s actually really open about it? like he just doesn’t care. he will get a little flustered if you catch him in the moment, but that’s only for a few seconds. like he’s just doing his thing, stroking his dick and reveling in the flood of dopamine that’s overwhelming his brain, squeezing the base, tightening his fingers around the tip, urging more precum out. when you walk in, he freezes momentarily, his hand flying to the base of his cock and just shuddering lightly as he holds back his orgasm. and then he just sighs, leaning back again and stroking rougher, encouraging you to come closer with a simple look in his eyes. your mouth is almost immediately around the tip of his dick, and he just holds you there as he strokes himself, watching as you suck on just the tip. you’re a sight for sore eyes like this, and when you meet his eyes, his eyes fly up, accidentally shoving his dick further in your tight, warm mouth and cumming down your throat. he doesn’t even give himself another second to catch his breath before he’s pushing you down onto the bed, kissing you so deeply, his cock already hardening again.

walking in on you; the same way he’s so nonchalant about himself masturbating, he doesn’t mind if you do it too. it’s understandable how sometimes you just want me time, and he tells himself if he were to ever catch you he wouldn’t really react in any way. he is wrong 😃👍🏼. just like he’d pushed your mouth around his dick when you’d once caught him, he immediately rushes to you, one hand wrapped around your thigh, the other guiding your fingers deeper inside of you as his mouth latches onto your clit. his mouth??? his mouth!!! sinful!!! he eats you out like a starved man. the idea is so filthy though, like you’re fingering yourself and he’s fondling your breasts and teasing your nipples, his mouth and lips sucking so harshly on your clit and you’re so fucking wet you’re soaking the bed beneath you. the orgasm that hits you is mind blowing, and imagine your surprise when you pull your fingers out, expecting him to pull his mouth away as well, but he just replaces your fingers with his own, pushing you down harsher on the bed and continuing to pleasure your oversensitive body oof.

end note; um n e ways 😏 if you guys want other characters with this lemme know bc brain: fried :D

[luimagines]

First Kiss! Part 3

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

Part three will include Four, Hyrule and Wind!

Content under the cut!

Four

The night was crisp and young as you walked with Four around the forest before Wild had to eventually send out the Wolf to come and find you two if you wanted to eat anything at all.

He walked a little ways ahead of you and grinned when he came across a little tree stump with a small crack down the middle. “I found one!”

“Found what?” You tilt your head. “When you said you were going to show me something, I didn’t think it would be this? Unless it’s still something I’m not seeing yet.”

“We’re not there yet!” Four bounces on the balls of his feet like an excited kid and gestures you to come next to him frantically.

You try to hide your laughter and go do what he’s asking of you.

He’s quick to grab your hand and he takes a breath.

You raise your eyebrow and copy him.

Four looks over to you, knowing that you’re messing with him before he grins and says, “Ready?”

“Ready for what?”

Four starts chanting a spell before you can even think to stop him and your whole vision shifts and everything grows and it’s warm and sweet and there, before you is suddenly a small hut with mouse people that you’ve never seen before. With feathered tails and little hats and ponchos with acorn cups and pots and you take a minute to take it all in.

Four laughs at your struck dumb expression and ushers you forward.

“What is this place?” You ask on a breath.

Four grabs your hand and gestures with his free to the space around you. “This is a safe haven for the Minish or the Picori as they’ve been known to call themselves.”

“Wow...” You feel a bright smile on your face as you head deeper into the little village inside the tree stump.

But alas, it’s only a few seconds before Link is swarmed by the mouse peop- the Minish as they asll seem to recognize him.

“Hello Mr. Hero!”

“You’re back Link!”

“How have you been?”

“Come sit with us! Have a drink!”

“Link, it’s been awhile. Do you have any new stories to tell us?” A group of the mice- minish- you have to remind yourself again- walk up to Link and one dares to loop their around his, leaning her head on his shoulder as she says this.

Four grins and pulls himself away much to your relief. “You know it! But not right now.” Four says your name, introducing you to the people who must be his friend before saying he was going to show you around.

One minish girl pouts and goes to reach for his arm again. “But Mr. Hero~!”

“Later.” Four smiles in your direction and takes your hand for everyone to see, lacing your fingers together.

You smile a little more easily and gladly follow him through the town.

And it’s really quite lovely.

But... You would enjoy yourself more if Four didn’t have one of them come up to flirt with him every ten minutes.

You can see him begin to get uncomfortable and he’s already apologized more than once about not being able to give you his full attention and show you around like he wanted. Your heart breaks for him.

One girl though, really pushes your buttons.

It’s the same one from earlier- the one that didn’t hesitate to latch onto his arm. “Link! You’ve been here long enough already! Tell us your stories!”

“Sorry but he’s with me today.” You growled and pulled him away from her.

He lets you.

You glare at the girl who doesn’t seem all that impressed by your attitude and claim. She scoffs a little and crosses her arms. “And you are you supposed to be?”

“His lover.”

Four coughs a little next to you but doesn’t deny anything.

The picori around you all still as if you popped a balloon in a silent room. All activity stops and there’s a nervous air around everyone as they all turn their heads to look at you, Four and the small group of minish girls that backup the original.

The original blinks for a minute before smirking a little. “No you’re not.”

You feel like you’ve been slapped.

You take a step back before a calm washes over you.

She doesn’t believe you?

That’s fine.

You shrug and turn to Four who’s watching everything with intense interest.

You don’t hesitate to pick him up and pin to the wall beside you, kissing him like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. Like you’ve been dying of thirst and he’s the glass of water you’ve been waiting for. Like you’re about to get heat stroke and he’s the shade to protect you. 

Four kisses you back with a smile on his lips.

Four wraps his legs around your waist and buries his hands into your hair, bringing you closer to him.

He tastes like apples and you vaguely remember the apple pie Four had managed to snag for breakfast earlier. There’s the hint of cinnamon and sweet sugar topping.

“I think they’re together.” Someone says in the background but you’re not paying attention to them any more.

You pull away from Four and rest your forehead against his. “Hey there Lover Boy, sorry about the lack of warning.”

“I am not complaining. That was hot.” He smirks and pulls you back in for another kiss.

Those who were interested in Four back away somewhat and everyone returns, with great difficulty on their part, back to what they were doing before.

Minish are terrible gossips.

But you think you can accept that the news is going to be that Four is with you now.

All those fangirls can back off, he’s yours.

Hyrule

You were in trouble for real this time.

You don’t know what it’s going to take but you think it might just be the end of the road for you.

You’re out of potions, you have no fairies, you can’t move your dominant arm and you’re ninety eight percent sure that you’re leg is broken.

To make matters worse, there’s a whole bunch of monsters nearby that you think you’re going to be unable to avoid when they find you.

Eventually.

You take a breath and try to calm down.

There’s no amount of adrenaline in the world that can help out of this one.

And you know you’re not getting any backup either.

This is it.

You can at least leave this plane of existence with a good conscious and a clear head. You can go down with dignity and you can at least you didn’t go down easy.

You just know that the next fight will be your last.

You try to sit up, ignoring how everything in your body seems to hurt, all for different reasons.

It beginning to hurt more now that the adrenaline is leaving your system and you’re getting tired.

A nap wouldn’t hurt.

Maybe the monsters will find you in your sleep and end you then. they say that’s the best to go. In your sleep.

Or (and you know this is unlikely) they’ll think you’re already dead and just leave you alone. Then you can wake up and try to go find help after you’ve rested a little while. 

It’ll be tough, but it’s possible.

Who’re you kidding?

You’re going to die.

You’re never going to see your family again.

You’re never going to tell your friends how much you appreciate them.

You’re never going to be able to tell that Traveler that you’ve fallen uselessly in love with him. 

You’re never going to see the sun again and sing and laugh and see a future family for you....

You don’t want to die.

A single tear runs down your face and you lean back against a stone wall. the corner you were in is secluded enough but not at all hidden.

You can hear the monsters come closer- they’re fighting something. The chaos is loud and thundering in the otherwise empty and quiet cave. They’re coming in your direction and you start counting the seconds.

They get closer and you see the fringes of one huge moblin take a step back to be in front of you. He’s not facing you- too busy fighting something on the other side but you’re out in the open.

You’re tired.

You take another breath and close your eyes. You hear the moblin go down and die but from what, you don’t know. You can’t even open your eyes anymore, that was how tired you were.

But then there’s a scream.

A familiar scream.

Link.

No, Hyrule. It’s Hyrule. It’s your Traveler.

He sounds horrified, pained and it’s enough to try to get you to move again.

You need to see what caused it, you need to see if he’s ok, you need to see what made him scream like that.

But you can’t.

The most you can do it flop an arm and move your head to the side.

Something lands on your side, you can feel it and if you can’t move you can speak. “Mmm...”

Ok, you guess not.

“Oh my god...” Hyrule voice breaks. He sounds like he’s crying.

Please don’t cry, you think. I’m not worth your tears. Save them for someone who matters.

“No...” He gulps and you can feel him move your head, being as gentle as he can with you. You take the biggest breath you can and try to move your head to the other side.

“You can’t die here.” He says. “I won’t let you.”

You can feel the spell he’s used so often on your friend’s fingertips, flow through you and it lessens the pain somewhat, but you know you’re too far gone. You’re too weak. You want to try to stop him from using all his magic but you can’t but at least you can die happy, knowing that he cared about you. It may not be as deep as you would have liked to take your relationship with him, but this is enough. More than enough even.

You feel him turn your head more and begin to lose consciousness.

This is ok.

You think you can go now.

Hyrule kisses you.

It’s desperate.

It’s longing- painful.

Magic flows through your whole body at an alarming rate and you think you can see a golden glow behind your eye lids that forces you to keep your eyes shut tight from the brightness of it all.

But you can move again.

You bring a hand up to your face, feeling Hyrule’s more clearly and let it rest on his jaw.

Slowly, you kiss back- half sure that this is a dream your dying brain has cooked up to make the process easier for yourself.

It’s not sweet, it’s not gentle anymore and the magic wakes you up again enough where you can feel how tight Hyrule is holding onto you.

You push him away with what little strength you managed to get back and blinked your eyes open.

The golden light fades and there’s sits in front of you, your Traveler.

He’s crying.

You blink and begin to feel more of your body again, confusion drowning you in its wake. “Link?”

Your voice is rough and you feel like you need to cough but Hyrule cuts you off and hugs you close. 

“You can’t die.” He says, gulping down the sob that threatens to break through. “I won’t let you... I promise. You’re going to be ok if it’s the last thing I do.”

Wind

“Wind!” You whisper yell and frantically wave your hand to convince to come over to you.

The boy in question grins and looks around momentarily before jogging over to where you were hidden in the bushes. “What is it?”

“Come with me.” You beam and take his hand, wasting no time in dragging him behind you. “There’s something I want to show you but only you. Wild might destroy it and I’ll never be able to get him to leave.”

“Leave where?” Wind asks in his normal volume.

You spin around and place your finger to his lips before glancing for the others again. When nothing appears to have heard the little outburst you pull away and lace your fingers together. “You’ll see!”

Wind doesn’t know what you’re talking about but the secrecy is fun for him, so he’ll place along.

You take him off the trail and take two lefts, a right then a left and Wind considers you two to be lost the second you make the last turn.

He takes a breath and looks around, each tree looking more imposing than the last but he would have no idea where to start if he were to try and go back. “I think we’re lost.”

“No way!” You snort. “This is my home. We’re almost there.”

“Your home?” Wind stands straighter.

You nod and pull away from him.

Wind goes to reach for your hand again.

You don’t notice.

You instead skip over to one of the trees and knock on it three times with your ear pressed up against the truck. You wait two seconds before nodding and take three large steps to the tree on the right and hit it with a branch Wind didn’t see next to it.

The tree shakes and a rope falls down.

You seem encouraged by this and take the rope, pulling on it with all your might which then drops a small ladder, that Wind sees is held together by ropes and connected to something at the top of the tree.

You don’t hesitate to start climbing , getting half way up before looking down and gesturing Wind to follow you.

Wind grins maniacally and follows you up the ladder faster than you would have thought he’d be capable of climbing.

You get to the top which is blocked off by a bunch of wood, but you know this place and you lift the trap door with ease and climb inside.

You get on your knees and turn around reaching your hand out to help Wind into the tree house.

He climbs in slower than you, glancing around with wide eyes, taking in everything.

There’s a small unmade bed in the corner with two stuffed animals from what he can. One is a dog and another is a bird but he doesn’t know what kind.

There’s a small bookshelf under a window that’s propped open with a small wooden board. There’s not a lot of books there, maybe seven at most but that’s more books than Wind is accustomed to seeing in one place and the rest of the space is filled is nick nacks and trinket that Wind assumes are from your adventure. And small chest next to it that must be where your clothes are if the cloth hanging out is any indication. 

There’s also a small- (toy sized) wood stove with matching metal pots and pans and a small sink on the other side of the tree house. Out of curiosity, he walks over and turns on the faucet.

It has running water.

“This is my home.” You whisper when Wind comes to stand up. “It’s little... and a little broken, if I’m being honest. I don’t have the tools to fix it but it’s mine.”

“Broken?” Wind blinks and looks around even more. There’s some rotting wood by the bed, now that he sees it and it doesn’t look like it’ll be able to hold much more weight if it continues without being replaced. It’s holding up the ceiling above your head- Wind instantly feels concerned for your safety should it collapse while you’re there, or what you’d do if it happened while you weren’t there. He’s almost sure now that there’s more that he just can’t see right now, if that was glaringly obvious off the get go.

“Some parts need fixing and replacing.” You admit. “But I didn’t build this place, I just found it and moved in, so I don’t know where I would even start. It’s not safe on the ground at night so I’m better off up here. There’s also some pipes on the roof are beginning to rust and get nasty. It collects the water from the tree leaves when it rains and keeps it in a container buried in the ground, that’s how I have running water. But it’s cracking.”

You sigh and sit on the floor, crossing your legs under you. “I’ll figure it out. Worse case scenario I’d have to leave and find a cave or something to live in but-”

“We can help you!” Wind turns to you and falls to knees in front of you. “Wild’s good at collecting materials. Twilight and Time can help build. Warrior can plan it out. Legend and Four can help with the pipes. You don’t have to lose your home.”

“The others might make fun of me for having this place.” You mutter with a small pout on your face. “But I knew you wouldn’t! That’s why I brought you up here! I may have nothing, but it’s a lot of nothing so I have enough to share.”

Wind leans into your space suddenly and places his lips on yours.

You gasp and touch them with the tips of your fingers, staring at him wide eyed and shocked.

It was just a peck, a butterflies touch, but the look on Wind’s face says something else. It’s heavy with emotion, with concern and care, and there’s a little part of you that finds it more attractive than you thought it would be.

“You won’t lose your home and I won’t let them make fun of you, I promise.” He gulps and bite his lip. “Let us help. Please.”

You blink at him and let the furious blush encompass your face entirely. You shrink a little bit away but smile. “Ok.”

Wind takes a breath and releases it a nervous but joyful laugh. “We’ll go get the others, ok? And we’ll make sure that you’re ok and safe and this whole place will be as good as new.”

You nod with a smile and Wind looks overjoyed that you agreed.

You hum and shift your weight onto your knees as well, leaning into Wind’s space, steadying yourself with a hand on his shoulder and place a delicate kiss on his lips as well. “Thank you Link.”

Wind also blushes something fierce and he begins to play with his hands in front of him, giggling and bashful. “Oh- Um- Well- I- Uh...You- You’re welcome.”

[orphic-musings]

if you write for chrollo can you do an angst one-shot where he finds out the reader never truly cared about him? (platonic or romantic)

if you don't do chrollo then could you do angst headcanons of the troupe members (the ones you write for) with the same prompt?

omg finally finished this one. im so so so so sorry it took so long T_T. but it’s here! i might’ve taken a slightly different approach than i originally planned but i hope you enjoy anyway!!

Characters: Chrollo x gn! reader

Genre: Angst, hurt no comfort

Warnings: Mentions of metaphorical blood, choking and scabs; mentions the phantom troupe’s crimes

Summary: Some secrets should never see the light of day. Others are an anchor, that weighs you down constantly until it wraps itself around you heart and overwhelms you. Then all you can do is cut it off, set it free. And now that you’ve reached the bottom of the ocean, you need to set yourself free.

Notes: HDJCNDKSKXKSKSK im so bad at posting. once again if you’ve submitted a request i will get to it i promise and i do try my best to make them satisfactory to the requester <3

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Your smiled is strained as you look up at Chrollo, like the weak winter sun. He just returned from who-knows-where doing who-knows-what. You like the troupe, the interesting cast of characters and their bickering and banter and games, but you never cared to pry much into their activities. A group of thieves and murders, is how they are potrayed, and while it’s likely true, you care more about the individuals you’ve gotten to know than their reputation. But still you find yourself forcing a smile. The troupe leader returns a genuine one, and it stings. Your guilt is a scab, and as the seconds tick away, they pick away at the skin. But the blood is still on your hands.

He sits near you, a book in his hand. These quiet moments with you are an asylum for him, a safe and comfortable relief. But it’s suffocating for you. You don’t love him. He looks at you, with curious eyes that hide a wealth of mysteries and emotions behind them. And your mouth is open. You just said those words. And finally oxygen can flow to your brain. Chrollo blinks, and he’s smart enough to know what you mean, to know that you meant what you said, but he can’t find a reason why. The silence stretches unnaturally as he considers your statement. His mask will never crack, but when you look into his eyes it’s almost palpable the way you feel his heart break. Almost cartoonish the way you can seem to hear it’s high-pitched shattering. You look away.

“I won’t give you excuses or reasons, because I don’t have any. I don’t know why I waited so long, because it only hurt us both. There was no way this could end without heartbreak, I’m sorry.” Your throat tightens with every word, and you struggle to push through, choking on the last apology. He isn’t looking at you anymore, and you can’t even turn to him. The air is abuzz with a volatile disquiet. Now that you can think clearly again, you have no idea what to do. Comforting someone you pretended to love, that you never loved, would be insulting. But can you stay with the troupe? Or was cutting this rope actually ending an entire chapter? Despite the pain of pretending, there was a comfort in the illusion, in the unchanging. Now it’s upside-down and confusing, and uncertain. And would this impact the others, or the troupe as a whole?

Either way you get up, because you can no longer feel Chrollo there. Physically he is there, but only a shell, a void. You’ve never felt him like that, and it frightens you. Perhaps it was the appeal of a mystery to unravel that led you to adopt this whole charade. Or the oceans of depth behind his eyes that you could hide or swim in, and he wouldn’t mind because of the peace of your presence. And everytime you face him you face a mask, but it was always a person behind the mask. Until now. Though you’re sure his front is airtight, his perfect facade unbothered, you know something is bruising underneath. You’ll never see it, but you can feel the heaviness of his heart, bleeding on the floor. Now the blood isn’t on your hands anymore.

[beckface]

Hey beckface I'm glad your still active on tumblr. I just read your dadbrains au headcanons and I loved every moment of them. I do have a question about your post, if they were ever to meet, how would wordgirl and Doctor Two Brains from canon react to meeting your dadbrains au becky and two brains?

Hi!!! Tumblr is too much fun I can’t leave yet

In like a multiverse situation canon WG and TB would both probably be extremely uncomfortable and maybe a bit sad with the knowledge that they’re family in some universe. They would make it sound ridiculous and make fun of it a bit because ew feelings. Like “Pff you? me? Family? That’s doesn’t even-it makes no sense!” “I know right? We hate eachother completely. Right?” “Yep. Right. It’s crazy. Hah” “yeah. Crazy. hah”

It def wouldn’t get too depressing since the show is a childrens comedy

so i’d imagine if we’re sticking to canon it’d mostly be the two DTBs’ hatching a silly evil plan together, while the two Wordgirls work together to stop them. The running gag of the episode is that each duo keeps getting in the way of the other’s battle flow,

Canon Becky and Dtb are a lot more aggressive to each other, and in regular battles definitely have more sibling vibes then parent/child. They’re not out to hurt the others feelings at all, but there is more of a sense of mutual competitiveness. Dadbrains Becky and DTB keep chastising their respective partners for being “too mean” and the canon ones are getting really annoyed. The banter is entirely necessary, how else are they gonna put on a good show??

Like you’d expect the two dtbs/two beckys to get along with themselves more, but no. Egos are running high on ALL sides and they keep getting in their own way

The dtb’s are getting along a lot worse then the Becky’s though, and they pretty much sabotage their own plan. The Becky’s learn to work together in the end, and “defeat” the Dtbs (Canon dtb destroyed the ray, all the Becky’s had to do was take them to jail)

The lesson of the day is don’t get so competitive with literally yourself you dumb fucks smh

The episode would probably wrap up with the dadbrains duo headed back home through whatever portal they went through, the DTBs hissing at eachother and then the narrator signs off

though because I can I’d like to add that it ends with the dadbrains two laughing together when they leave, and the canon duo are watching them go, alone at last. Dtb’s hands and legs are tied up with telephone wire or whatever.

It’s awkward for a moment, and the police are arriving, they both look to see the flashing lights. Becky stands up hesitantly and DTB says “Well. See you around I guess.”

Becky starts flying away, but stops midway in the air, and glances back at him, he looks less angry then normal and more tired. She thinks about her old friend for a second, and slowly descends, landing back next to him. She looks nervous, and is fiddling with her fingers. Dtb raises an eyebrow at her, he’s like “Uh, Do you need somet-“

She cuts him off with a hug, she doesn’t say anything, just wraps her arms around him and holds on. He pauses for a moment, unsure of what to do. She quickly pulls back, still not making eye contact with him, and then zips off. He stares at where she just was in shock as the police officer walks in and stands him up. He smiles, and gets in the police car feeling lighter then he has in a long time.

Sorry I started writing fanfiction again. My bad

HOPE THAT ANSWERS UR QUESTION ANON AHHH

[handsoffmyscarfsherlock]

Red Roses

Sherlock x Reader

Summary: Moriarty knows the one thing that could affect Sherlock is you. After some quiet months with no activity, he appears back in your life. 

Warnings: Panic attack, fluff, and obsessive behavior 

You felt the world shift back into your body. The lights seeping into your eye lids, warming up your vision. You shift, feeling the aches come and go when awakening your body. Naps are heaven. Feeling refreshed after a long day, you dangle your legs over the side of your bed. The sheets soft against your skin, beg you to stay and relish the feeling of them for a little bit longer. Groaning, you decide it is finally time to get up. The cold of the floor makes you shiver as your feet hit the ground. 

You go over to your dresser, rummaging to find some fuzzy socks but remember that you left them at John and Sherlock’s flat. The memory of them flashes through your mind, chuckling to yourself because you left them on Sherlock’s chair. You were the only one he’d let do that, John made the point to tell you that often enough. You didn’t understand though, you were nothing special to Sherlock. A person in his life that he put up with, just like John. However, it would be a lie to say that you didn’t want to be something more than that. The little names he’d call you made your brain go blank and your tongue feel like bricks. The way he’d look at you and wink, almost teasing you with the thoughts of what if? 

Your cheeks flush at the thought of Sherlock and you shake your head trying to stop acting like a giddy schoolgirl. You throw on a long sleeve shirt over your tank top and pajama shorts. You grab your phone off your bedside table and unplug it from the charger, swiping through notifications. Your body mindlessly starts to make a cup of tea. The London life has changed your preference of beverages. 

A chuckle escapes from your mouth as you remember when Sherlock and John taught you how to make a proper “cuppa”. Apparently, it bothered them so much that a lesson was needed. 

Sitting down on the sofa, you sip your earl gray tea. You reach for your phone and send a picture to the boys, knowing John would find it adorable. You like making John smile, he deserves to be happy. You set your phone down and look out of your flat window. The London sky was gray, clouds waiting to rain. The ebbs and flows of them sucking you in, making you forget the thoughts that cloud your mind. 

Your text tone chimes, returning you back to the present. You see John’s response, your cheeks pulling into a smile. Very cute, y/n. 

Moments later, you hear another. Earl grey with milk and sugar. Have a good nap? -SH. 

Typing a response to the consulting detective, you hum quietly under your breath. You set your phone back down and go to reach for your tea to take another sip. The sound of your doorbell cuts through the air, startling you. 

Tea in hand, the cold floor embraces you yet again as you walk towards the door. You open the door, hearing the familiar creek of the hinges. 

In front of you, there lay hundreds of red roses. Fear bubbles in your chest, rising to the back of your throat. Your lungs ache, the groan of your muscles urging you to breathe. You knew they were from him. He had found you again. You didn’t even realize your mug had fallen from your shaking hands until it shattered on the ground, the loud noise making you yelp. You let a string of curse words escape from your lips. Your mind goes into panic mode. The door slams shut as your body works without your brain functioning properly. 

Pain shoots through your body, nerves sending flames through your body. You had forgotten about the shards of glass on the ground. Hobbling to your phone, pain in every step, you manage to dial a number before slumping to the ground. 

Why now? Why you? What does he want? What will he do to your loved ones?  

“Y/n I’m in the middle of-“ the baritone voice enters your ears and you sob just from hearing it. 

“Sherlock, Sherlock I… I need… please just-“ your voice cracking as you try not to hyperventilate. 

“Y/n, Darling, breathe. What’s going on?” 

You swallow a gulp of air feeling it move down your throat aching and dry, “Sherlock, he found me.” 

There was silence. It felt like forever, just going on and on into millions of moments. 

“We’ll be right there. Don’t move. Please don’t forget to breathe, I don’t want to see you passed out by the time we get there.” The dial tone sounds. You feel the dread seep into your peripherals. The dark cloud moving into you, thick and heavy. You hear your phone hit the ground. 

Numb. You don’t move, frozen still. Your cheeks tingle from hyperventilating, still not able to catch or regulate your breaths. The blackness and floating sensation from not getting enough air drifts you away into your own little world. 

Warm. Something is warm on your face. You blink, trying to push the darkness out. 

Blue, the familiar baby blues are in front of you. Sherlock. His hands are on your face, embracing your tingling cheeks now wet with tears. His hands are big, the warmth of them feeling comforting. You melt into them.

“Y/n!” John yells your name. They had made it to your flat. You didn’t even hear them come in. Sherlock continues to make eye contact with you. You’re finally able to see him clearly. 

“Follow my breathing. Listen to me.” Your breathing mimics his, slowly beginning to return to normal. John kneels next to you. You can feel his hands on your shoulders. 

“Better?” Sherlock whispers to you. You nod, thankful for his presence. He moves away, hands coming off your face to fall by his sides. You felt empty without them. John pushes him aside to look at your feet, noticing the blood. He moves around you getting supplies to clean and bandage them. 

They both moved around you like cogs in a clock, working in unison together. Sherlock was looking around your flat and inspecting the roses at your front door. John had cleaned and wrapped them in no time. You had forgotten that he was an army doctor, trained for this sort of thing. You try to crawl to pick up the broken pieces of the mug. John frowns and tells you to knock it off and relax. He helps you to the couch. 

Sherlock meets your gaze. The eyes were twinkling. What was that? Anger? Worry? Whatever it was, the moment you looked at him you felt tears well back into your eyes. 

“Darling,” He rushes to you, knowing what was going to come next. He sits next to you on the couch and cradles you into his arms. Wrapped up in his coat, breathing in the familiar scent of him, your tears fall silently. His hand found your hair and the other one rubbed circles on your back. You feel something on top of your head. 

A kiss. 

You couldn’t even begin to process that action because you hear John clear his throat. 

“Dear Kitten-“ John reads out loud, “I’ve missed you dearly. My absence must of saddened you. Let me pay you back, Kitten. Come to our first meeting place so I could just… devour you. Yours truly, M.” 

You looked up at Sherlock. His eyes burned with anger. You had never seen him this mad before. Hell, he had never showed this much emotion before. 

“She’s not going. I won’t let her.” Sherlock’s voice, strong and clear, echoed through the flat. John shook his head in agreement, “I don’t know who the hell he thinks he is-“

“He knows what he’s doing, John. Don’t be stupid.” You saw the hurt in John’s eyes before the comment rolled off his back. That’s what living with Sherlock was like. 

“I need to go, Sherlock.” Your voice timid, escapes your lips, surprising everyone. You slip out of Sherlock’s hold and stand up, gingerly. He follows suit, towering over you almost immediately. 

He shakes his head, black curls moving suit. “No, y/n. I can’t allow you to do that.” 

“Why, Sherlock? You’ve never said no to a case before, especially me coming with. I need to do this. This needs to end. I can’t keep living in fear.” Your voice gradually coming back, volume raising. 

The detective looks wildly around the room, gears in his brain turning. You had never seen Sherlock frazzled before. He sucked in a breath, trying to start a sentence before stopping. “Don’t you understand-“ he choked out, “I just, I can’t… I can’t lose you! Not to him.” 

Your face drops. 

“Sherlock, what are you saying?” You barely whisper the words. 

“Y/n, don’t you get it? I… I don’t know how to say it other than-“ He stops. His eyes not meeting yours. 

“Other than what?” You take a hesitant step forward to move closer to him. His eyes trail up from the floor, finding yours. His eyes said everything you thought he’d never say. They glistened with what looked like tears. Genuine. 

“I care about you, y/n. I never thought that I’d feel this way towards anyone. You make me feel, Darling. I… I don’t know what to do, I’ve never-“ You wrap your arms around his middle, his chin resting on top of your head. His arms find their way to cradle your head. 

“Sherlock, I care about you too.” Your voice muffled from being buried in his jacket. He pulls away and takes your chin to make you look at him. 

“I will always protect you, y/n. No matter what.” He whispers to you. 

With that, he scoops you into his arms, carrying you out of your flat. You could hear his heartbeat, strong, in your ears. John follows silently and grabs your bag you always kept by the front door with necessities for when you visited their place.  

For the first time that day, you truly felt safe. 

[danielxricciardo]

Can you do one with Max, with 46 and 55 from angst list?

Summary: You are suffering from depression and Max tries to be by your side

Warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of suicide, depression

Word count: 3.6k+

46. “I’ll leave, and the world will move on. I just wish I could see it. See how much better everything is when I’m gone.”

55. “You’re good at finding things. Find me a reason to stay.”

Depression feels like a lot of things.

It feels like sadness, which is what everyone will tell you. It's a pretty common thread.

"I'm worthless."

"Everyone thinks I'm a horrible burden."

So on and so forth.

Everyone in the world is happy but you, and in the end, you are a worthless piece of shit that doesn't belong in this otherwise glorious and happy place. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and you are lying there on your bed in the same unlaundered pair of pajamas, wondering why you are even allowed to keep living any longer. Some meteor strikes or lightning bolts should be reserved for people like you because you are taking up space and oxygen and food and other resources that real, happy, productive people need.

It feels like emptiness. You have all these possibilities and none of them seem interesting. You could do some art, or play some music, but that just doesn't feel right. There's no joy in it. You could have sex with your significant other, but you can't muster up the desire. You could play video games, or read a book. But what's the point? There's no real benefit to all of it but passing the time. You could get up and make lunch. But no, you're not that hungry, and if you close your eyes, time will pass a little faster. You can lie there. That works. It doesn't require active effort to do something fruitless. Everything is as empty and fruitless as lying and staring out your window at the clouds and the shifting shadows of tree branches, and so why do anything else?

It feels like fatigue. Standing up out of your bed requires the same amount of bodily effort as climbing several flights of stairs. Managing to get dressed and walk outside is like running a race. Heaven helps you if you try to go to the store or a friend's house -- that may as well be on the other side of the continent. Every step is heavy. Every muscle motion requires ten times the work it used to. Exercise becomes difficult, and control over your body expires quickly. You become clumsier, so heavy lifting is right out. You daze out randomly, daydreaming, even dozing, so biking or running is hard. You feel most at home when you are entirely relaxed, so you lie down...and don't get up again until something like your bladder compels you.

It feels like a loss of control. You have no idea why your brain and body are doing this. You don't want to feel sad. Nobody wants to feel shitty and tired and empty all the time. People will look at you and say, "It's like you don't want to get better." Those people are idiots. You truly, deeply, from the bottom of your soul, have no idea why this has happened or what to do. It's not logical. It makes no sense. You woke up like this, or it crept in overtime or something like that. It's like a fog, a force of nature that sweeps in, occludes everything, and there's not one thing you can do about it from where you stand. Trying feels like taking a paper fan outside and trying to blow away the morning mist. Someone has tied puppet strings to your brain and is playing this hideous dance with it, and you don't have the scissors to cut them away. The dance doesn't make sense; it's arbitrary and rhythmless. If you had any sort of reasoning behind it, you could take control. But you don't.

It feels like desperation. You can't find a way out. You lie there at night, keening into your pillow like a wounded animal, making all sorts of noises that no human being should be able to make. You claw and scratch at the sheets, or at yourself, as the pain wrings itself out through bodily expression. The tears won't stop. You don't know why. All you know is that it hurts, it really and truly hurts, and you think if it goes on any longer, you're going to die. Right there. Bleed out on the floor. So you grab up your phone, and you call someone at 4 AM, and you beg them to please just make it stop. You bury yourself in books and movies because at least then you can imagine something else than yourself. You read nonstop. You have to have your fix. It's like an addiction, no, more like a life support machine. Otherworlds, fantasies of happiness, and real experiences that aren't your horrible existence become the iron lung keeping air flowing in and out. You are alive because you can stop thinking for a while. Your friends come over to comfort you. Their stories keep you sane and well, like dialysis for all the toxins in you. Your mind has failed at being independent, and now it relies on a thousand little machines to keep itself running. You rely on one machine until another comes to save you. You read books until your friends come by. You stretch out your time with friends until you have to bury yourself in a movie again just to keep the thought of real-life away.

It feels like untamed anger. Your friends can't keep this up forever. You fall further and further, and you eventually start dropping commitments. You have become That Person, the flake that everyone knows will back out. People start getting annoyed at you, annoyed at how they have to spend so much time just keeping you afloat, annoyed at how often you're causing them trouble by constantly disappearing and backing out of appointments, and so on. Your workplace gets annoyed at your lack of productivity. And then you can't take it anymore, and you want to scream at them, grab them by the throat and shake them because IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! You start having twisted fantasies, the ones where you walk up to that person who keeps telling you he can't do this anymore, you're just too unreliable, putting a gun to your head and pulling the trigger. Just to make him know, for once, that FUCK HIM, your problems are REAL, DAMMIT, REAL, and he better FUCKING RESPECT that. And when you're gone, he'll fall to his knees and cry, and he'll say, he wishes he had understood, that he didn't mean to be so unkind, and the scar on his heart from his own failure will remain fresh and knotted for eternity. And then you shake yourself out of the daydream, and you wonder why you have turned into such a horrible person, someone who even considers ending their own life just to spite another human being. Then it creeps back in, the knowledge that the world is getting fed up with you...and the cycle begins again. You start thriving off these daydreams, because at the very least if you can't be happy, you can throw caution to the wind and get the petty, oddly satisfying revenge buried under all those layers of morality that are becoming worn and flaking away. It's just a fantasy, right? And it helps pass the time...

It feels like forever. You have forgotten what it's like to truly be joyful. You can imagine it, but it's not really you in those thoughts. This is who you are. This is your life. This is you.

It feels like you have only one thing truly under your power: your existence. You cannot choose what life throws at you. Your brain and body have betrayed you. Your friends have worn away, and you've fled from your job and any commitments you have.

It feels empowering. You can jump whenever you want.

But he accepted you the way you are. He never reproached you for negatively influencing his mentality or life, even though you knew he felt it too. He always listened to you, he was with you even at 2 in the morning when you were crying on the bathroom floor with your knees to your chest, and you knew it wasn't right. It wasn't right for him to go through, basically, what you were going through. But no matter how much you told him you could do it without his help, Max was coming back more insistently than ever.

He came up with the idea to start therapy. "You have to find out why you feel this way. Go at least once, see how it is, if you don't like it or feel that it doesn't help you, you will give up, okay?" That was a year and a half ago.

The psychologist gave you a diagnosis from the first session: Major Depressive Disorder. Sure you knew what the three words meant, but you didn't know what it meant to have a label on your condition.

"A major depressive disorder is characterized by one or more of these depressive episodes. the diagnosis of major depressive disorder requires depressed mood or anhedonia which is the loss of interest in pleasure and five or more signs or symptoms for the SIGECAPS mnemonic for a 2-week period. (SIGECAPS) Sleep Disturbance, loss of Interest, feeling Guilty, feeling fatigued and low in Energy, having decreased Concentration, decreased or increased Appetite and been agitated and slow and having Suicidal ideation."

It sounds incredible to you. Suicidal thoughts? Not everyone has a thought, somewhere, behind their mind 'What if I disappeared?'

You were prescribed Prozac and Zoloft and it helped. You weren't always sad anymore, you could go to the races with Max and support him as a normal girlfriend does. You apologized to my friends who tried to help me and whose lives you made impossible and you managed to get back to work, from home anyway. Sure, you still had moments when you felt like you weren't 100% yourself but not like before. You did therapy twice a week and the psychologist was happy with your evolution.

But being the stupid ass that you are, you stopped taking the medication. You took the last pill on Friday. Because you were fine. You felt ok, everyone around you told you you were better, you were doing amazing, so you were cured, right? Or so you thought. Saturday was normal. Sunday was not. Your mood and energy were very low. You woke up at like 2 in the afternoon. That is not unusual for you. You’re used to it. You were sad. You were exhausted. You knew that feeling like this was “no excuse” so you tried to force yourself to do it anyway. Typical of your life. You feel like you had already taken so much off work because of the triple-header, you were for three weeks attached to the hips with Max.

The only thing you thought of was dying. And that terrified you. And Max senses something was wrong. But he didn't want to tell something and ending up being wrong and you being upset by his misinterpretation. But, yes, he sensed that you were becoming your old self.

"Hey, babe," he snapped you out of your daydreaming. A tragic one, where you were finally at peace and Max was crying for you. You were on the verge of crying yourself at the mere image of Max in your head. But you pushed it far from your mind, somewhere in a dark corner for you to find it at an appropriate time to fantasize about your dying. "How about we go to a picnic? It's sunny outside."

Yes, the wheater was amazing. It was finally summer and you could go outside and spend some time with Max. But your brain literally is tricking you into thinking you don't deserve to enjoy the sunny day. Why? You don't have an answer.

"I'm not really in the mood, Max. Sorry."

You are not in the mood. That was his affirmation. You are not ok.

"You feeling good?"

"Yeah. Just tired I guess."

"But you just woke up."

You shrugged. He was right. You just woke up, so why do you feel like you were carrying a ton of bricks on your shoulders? You couldn't walk. You almost felt like 18 months ago. And that is when it hit you. And Max, at the same time.

"Still taking your meds, I hope."

Silence. Your mind was like overcrowded and you couldn’t take it anymore. You grabbed your head and pulled your hair because you wanted it to stop. You were thinking that you didn’t know what to think. You didn’t know how to think. You didn’t know how you felt. You were like anxious-depressed-angry-miserable-irritable all in one. Your head was spinning with thoughts. Thoughts were talking over thoughts. So fast that you couldn’t even make out one complete sentence. It was just too much for you to handle. You just wanted someone to kill you.

Max came to you and he hugged you so hard you thought he could crush your bones right there and then. You calmed down eventually. But now you were embarrassed. Because Max saw you, again, at your lowest. Because you promised you'll get better, and for a while, you were better, but now you are fucked and back into square one. All those money on therapy and your pills, for what? For you to stop taking them because you thought you were feeling better? Well, you definitely were not ok, nor you'll be. So, yeah, being fucked sounded good.

Max brought you the medicine and a glass of water. Taking the pills again? For what? The pills only fuel the feeling that everything is fine and that you are a normal person. Nothing was good and you were not a normal person.

But you took the pills. And you looked Max in the eyes and you wanted to die. He seemed crushed. He was sad, devastated, maybe angry but definitely disappointed. In you. Because maybe you don't realize this, but while you were doing good, he was doing great. He knew you could be on your own so he stopped worrying that much, and that could also be seen in his driving. He was winning more races, he was at his best and now he was at his lowest. Because you were at your lowest; co-dependency and shit.

"I'm sorry, baby. I thought I was doing well enough to stop taking the meds," you say in a broken voice but the tears are yet to appear. He stroked your hair and kissed you on your forehead.

"You should have told me. You don't have to go thru this alone. I am here."

"Yeah, you are here. But you don't have to be!" you snapped. Irritability, one thing your depression came with. "I am just a burden for you. And no, this does not come from the fact I stopped taking my pills. You took care of me like I was a child, and, fuck it, you don't deserve this."

"Stop talking like this, alright? If I would suffer from depression you would have done the same thing. You would have taken care of me. Or am I wrong?"

"You are not wrong. To be honest, I don't think I would be here if it wasn't for you, but I don't want you to be. It's obvious that I would never get better. This is me. I am fucked in the head, half wishing I was dead and I am just bringing you down."

"Don't tell me this is a fucking break up, Y/N." he narrows his brows and looks at your features to make sure you were being serious.

“I’ll leave, and the world will move on. I just wish I could see it. See how much better everything is when I’m gone.”

"What the fuck are you talking about? Is this a break-up or a suicidal vocal note?"

You broke down. Crying can be cathartic and healthy, but if it goes on too long it can lock your body in a feeling of despair. Even if your mind works through the problem that caused the crying, because your body is still feeling the physical effects it will cause your mind to revert to the negative state. It's not sadness. It's dread and paralysis. You had a certain feeling of emptiness and purposelessness.

“You’re good at finding things. Find me a reason to stay,” you say between sobs.

"You want me to find you a reason to stay alive or to stay in this relationship? To be frank, I can name a thousand reasons, but it all depends on you."

Max hugs you from behind and you lay your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat that was stronger than ever. You allowed yourself to inhale Max's scent, a soothing scent you could get drunk on.

"I want to believe you love me. I mean, I love you and I consider you the love of my life, you know? We are so young and I know it doesn't feel like it, but I promise you, I'm gonna marry you someday, even if right now you don't think you're gonna make it till tomorrow. So, yeah, this is reason number one," he said and pressed a kiss to your cheek. "This is not the worst you have been through in life. Remember where you were 18 months ago; you had no idea what was wrong with you. Now you know and you know you can be better. I know you get sick of those pills, but maybe, in the future, you won't need them. Isn't that exciting? This was reason number two," he said and pressed another kiss to your cheek. He was going to do that every time he would give you a reason. "Have you been to all the beautiful places around the world? Sure, you came to a few Grand Prix, but you never saw Great Ocean Road in Australia, you know Daniel promised he would take us there someday. You never saw Pamukkale in Turkey or Japan in Cherry Blossom season or the Blue Lagoon in Iceland. There are many places you need to visit, baby. So, yeah, this was reason number three. I don't know if you want me to continue but I can give you one more reason. Reason number four. Do it for you, baby. You deserve to live and be happy. I know you can be happy and I promise you I will do my best to help you. You just have to take it one step at a time. You just have to let me in. Let me help you, baby."

You turn around, facing him now. You loved him, with all of your heart. You love him for who he is. You love him because he literally came into your life as your lifeline. You love him because he helped you crawl up the deep bottomless abyss of depression. You love him because he had the patience and the audacity to bear with your depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, your phobias, your mood swings, your temperamental and short-tempered nature, your overthinking, your being overprotectiveness, and possessiveness. You love him because never once he thought of giving up on you in your hard times. You love him because he stands by you like a rock of unwavering support and he’s someone you can fall back on. You love him because he listens to you talking non-stop about your past, your pains, your fears, and your losses without complaining even once. You love him because he rediscovered you and helped you find yourself again when you were lost in darkness. You love him because he filled you with confidence and hope and strength and belief and determination. You love him because he believes you are the best when you set your mind on something and no one can stop you from achieving your goals. You love him because he is protective, caring, understanding, loving, and easy to be with while never being too suffocating or taking up your space. You love him because sooner or later he does everything you ask of him and does with his whole attention. You love him because whatever endeavor he engages in, he likes to give his 100% and hates doing half-hearted things. You love him because he can decode the nuances in your voice and judge your mood just perfectly. You love him because he read you like an open book and he can hear your silence. You love him because he never doubts your loyalty, your intentions, your hard work, and your million issues. You love him because no matter how busy he might get he never forgets that you are waiting for his message or his call. You love him because he keeps you in his priorities. You love him because he gave you a passion you never knew you had. You love him because he very strongly believes that you deserve the best of everything. You love him because he is empathic, kind, magnanimous, thoughtful, and down to Earth. You love him because he has eyes for no one but you. You love him because he wants to see you healthy, wealthy, prosperous, famous and he wants you to hold back at nothing, for no one, he wants you to be a Go-Getter. And most importantly you love him because no one ever loved you like he did.

"I will let you in," you say and you kiss him hard. "I'm sorry for the scene I caused."

"Don't be. It happens."