#that is not your fault whatsoever because the initial thought you had was based around actual experience
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lovetogether · 1 month ago
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We think the obsession with making mental illness appear to be something one suffers from and / or changes (or ruins) their entire life causes a lot of this paranoia one is faking their illness. Self diagnosis is something we advocate for as we’d rather someone look into recovery for something they may or may not have then never know. That and, most just cannot afford to get a diagnosis (+ for some an official diagnosis would mean putting their livelihood at risk). However the act of show casing mental illness as wholly damaging can create an idea of idealized mental illness. This idea that one must be in constant suffering to justify their diagnosis. Mental illness though is muted, it’s a subtle thing we find, even the most severe cases. Dissociation detaches you from yourself but you still exist as an entity, which can be mistaken as “healthy”. Hallucinations are not often grandiose but rather small intrusions on your life, things which make living an inconvenience but nothing to the level of a horror film. Intrusive thoughts and violent outbursts are real and something which should be discussed but this idea it is otherworldly or obscene helps no one. Most if not all mental illness symptoms can appear quietly. If it were understood just how “normal” it may feel to be mentally ill then perhaps people wouldn’t be so scared to accept themselves. People often think “I relate but it’s not as extreme” when the truth is it’s never entirely that extreme to begin with. Episodes are momentary, mental illness can be debilitating but even in that state it is never full force every moment. Understanding that the mentally ill are closer to you than you realize is an important step to understanding and welcoming the mentally ill into our communities . And accepting ourselves.
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islesnucks · 4 years ago
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hi bae can i request a barzy blurb based on dress by taylor swift? ty 🥺
a taylor swift song inspired barzy fic? hell yeah that’s like my two favorite things in the word together
requests are open so go send something if you feel like 
also this turned out a bit longer than I expected
I DON'T WANT YOU LIKE A BEST FRIEND - MAT BARZAL X READER
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Word Count: 1.9 k
Warning: none
Summary: after Mat introduces you as his best friend and it affects you more than it should, you end up confessing your feelings for him 
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His words hadn’t left your mind the whole night, they were on loop, replaying over and over in your brain. ‘This is Y/N, one of my best friends.’ That’s how Mat had introduced you when you arrived at his family’s friend’s wedding, to which he had invited you as he’s plus one.
You knew you and Mat were just friends, you have been for a long time, and it surely wasn’t the first time he introduced you like that. Maybe this time hit differently because you had just come to terms with the undeniable fact that you had fallen for your best friend, no matter how cliché that sounded.
You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when it happened. It just happened slowly without you even realizing. Suddenly seeing him hit on random girls at the bar made you feel sick. Suddenly his hand on your lower back guiding you through a crowded room felt different. Suddenly your name coming from his lips made the world stop. You didn’t know what turned the switch in your brain from platonic to romantic love and made you look at him with new eyes, but once you realized it there was no going back and the thought of Mat and you becoming something more was always there painfully present in the back of your head.
“Y/N?” you heard Mat call you, bringing you back to reality. You looked at him still a bit lost in your thoughts. ”Are you okay?” he asked with his eyes stuck on the windshield as he drove you home after the wedding had ended.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
“I don’t know. You’ve been a little off all night.” He noticed, he obviously did. Because he’s Mat, he’s your best friend, he’s one of the most attentive guys you know and he knows you better than you know yourself sometimes. So he obviously noticed, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t keep on pretending.
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you replied failing to sound as confident as you wanted to. Mat didn’t say anything and the car fell back into silence. 
You looked outside the window, trying to distract yourself and calm down. You weren’t far away from your place, in just a few minutes you’d be in your apartment. Mat had noticed something but he didn’t know what it was, so you could send him a text explaining you had a headache or something to get him off your back and just move on.
At least that was the plan but then Mat turned off the car and got out of it with you. You thought he was walking you to the building door like he had done many times, nothing strange. However he walked into the building with you and got into the elevator.
That’s when you started to suspect something was happening. You looked over at him confused and he just smiled at you, like nothing was going on. So maybe he was just walking you to the door. You decided not to think too much into it because if you did your heart would start racing and would notice your nerves, the last thing you needed was to give him more reasons to believe something was going on.
As you opened the door Mat was quick to walk into your apartment and you watched him with furrowed brows as he took a seat on your couch, casually like there was nothing weird with it.
“Excuse me? Can I help you with something?” you asked, stepping in front of him.
“I know something’s up Y/N. You barely talked today and you didn’t cry, I’ve seen you cry at stupid commercials and you didn’t cry at a wedding.”
You rolled your eyes walking away from him because you knew you couldn’t lie to his face, he’d notice. “I’m fine Mat I promised I just had a headache.”
“No you didn’t. When you have a headache you massage your head and you get sleepy, that’s not what happened today. It’s more like you were gone.” You hated how much he knew you, it would be harder to convince him but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t try.
“Well I’m sorry I don’t always have the same gestures Sherlock.” you replied, irritation was clear in your tone. Mat let out a deep sigh and got up. It wasn’t his intention to argue and he could see you were getting mad, he just wanted to know what was going on.
“Y/N I know you-” he started to say as he approached you but you were tired of hearing that speech.
“Can we not do this right now? I’m tired Mat, I just wanna go to bed.” you said with a defeated look, lowering your town. He looked at you for a minute and decided to push his stubbornness aside. He knew he was right, he’d bet a million dollars on it, but he also knew you were exhausted, he could see it in your face.
Mat walked till he was in front of you, inches away, and suddenly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. He held you tight as one hand went up to your hair to stroke it. You were surprised at first but then he felt you relax in his embrace. He placed a kiss on top of your head as he balanced slightly from one side to the other, keeping his face buried in your hair.
“You don’t have to tell me what’s going on okay? Because I know something happened, don’t even try to pretend it didn’t. I just wanna know if it’s something I did, that’s all I need to know because I can’t leave you here alone knowing I may have done something to upset you.”
His voice was soft as he spoke against you. Tears started to build up in your eyes and you tried to push them away as you debated what your next move would be.
If you told him it wasn’t about him he'd leave and you could move on pretending nothing happened and dealing with your unresolved feelings. If you told him the truth you didn’t know what would happen. However you knew that regardless of how he felt about you he’d be nice to you. The man was hugging you tight about his chest, refusing you to leave until you told him it wasn’t his fault because he wouldn’t be able to live with himself knowing he did anything to hurt you.
Maybe it was the wine you had drank. Maybe it was because you were emotionally exhausted and unable to think clearly. Or maybe because you were tired of pretending. You didn’t know the reason why you decided to be honest and tell him how you truly felt, but you did that.
“You introduced me as your best friend today, that’s why I was off the whole day, I just kept thinking about it.” you mumbled against his chest, breaking the silence.
“Did you want me to introduce you differently?” He pulled away a little to be able to look you in the face, but his arms were still around you.
“Yes- I mean no. I-” You stumbled on your words, trying to find the right way to explain everything. “What you did was fine, I am your best friend, that’s right.”
“Then why did it upset you?” You rested your head face against his chest again, not having the courage to look him in the face as you confessed what you were about to confess.
“Cause I don't want you like a best friend Mat. I haven’t for a while now and I just don’t know how to deal with this. It’s not your fault, I don’t know what happened or when or how. I have these feelings for you and I guessed it hurt a bit to hear you calling me your best friend, even though that’s exactly what I am.”
After you spoke the room went silent again and you started panicking. You looked up at Mat who was already looking down at you and all you could see was shock. Suddenly your worst fear was real, you had screwed up your friendship with him. It was over. You felt the familiar knot in your throat and tears blurred your vision.
“Sorry ignore everything I said. Just forget it okay?” you said as you freed yourself from his embrace. Still no reaction whatsoever from him. “Shit. Shit. Shit. I feel so stupid.”
“Y/N.” he said, but you were too distracted pacing around the room and rambling to hear him.
“You know I even spent hours shopping for the perfect dress that would magically make you see me as more than your friend, do you know how stupid that sound? What am I? 15 years old?”
“Y/N listen-” he tried again but there was no getting to you, you were too lost in your own jabber. It was like once you started you couldn’t stop and you’d surely later regret all you were confessing.
“I’m an idiot. I really thought you could maybe by some miracle feel the same and-”
“Y/N!” he said now in a much louder tone so you would hear him and place his hands on your sides to stop you. You were surprised, not even realizing he had approached you at some point.
“Please stop.” he added now on a lower more tender tone, it almost sounded like a plea.
Now that you looked at him the initial shock had been replaced by something you couldn’t make out. His face was unreadable as he stated leaning in and before you could even question what was going on his lips were on yours.
You were surprised at first, eyes wide open not being to process what was going on. But once the initial shock was over you kissed him back. It’s embarrassing how many times you had thought what kissing him would be like, but it turned out to be even better than you could have imagined. His lips caressed yours gently, even a bit shily. Your hands met on the back of his neck and his slid down your sides to your waist, pulling you closer. 
Then a thought found its way into your brain.
“Wait.” you mumbled against his lips and he instantly pulled away. “I need to know you’re not doing this out of pity.”
He chuckled letting his head fall back before answering. “I’m doing this because I also don’t want you like a best friend. Because you do look amazing in that dress. Because I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long now. Because-” 
Your smile grew wider with every word and your cheeks turned red. You could tell he planned to keep on going, and you were surely going to ask him to tell you the rest later, but now there was only one thing you wanted.
“Ok, ok. I get it. We can go back to kissing now.” you said making him laugh, already tugging him closer by his neck and his laughs died in your lips.
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hope you liked it! likes and reblogs are always appreciated!
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bigskydreaming · 4 years ago
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@spikeface
ohhhh hell yeah I have not forgotten, like I tend to keep the examples limited to interactions with Scott to point out the blatant double standards in play but also because I am so tired of the abuse apologism arguments that come with any criticism of Derek’s actions in regards to teenage characters in the first two seasons in general, like, I know the dude had a hard time that doesn’t mean paying that forward is an acceptable standard of behavior for interacting with scared and vulnerable teenagers. ALSO not to bring it back around to Scott AGAIN but also umm Im me so okay I will I have the go-ahead, but like......literally every single argument and justification people make about Derek’s behavior and choices in the first two seasons because of what happened with Kate and how he doesn’t trust people because of that and he’s traumatized is rendered null and void by their simultaneous bullshit insistence that none of this logic means anything when it comes to Scott and.....wait for it....what happened with Theo and trust and traumatized or does being betrayed by someone you were starting to consider a good friend and murdered not count as trauma? I forget.
You can’t have it both ways but people are like Yes I can *rolls up sleeves* watch me.
Aaaaaand since we’re already here, why not, I’m going for it, soooooo getting in on the ground floor before people are like WELL THAT’S DIFFERENT BECAUSE STILES TRIED TO WARN SCOTT SO HE SHOULD’VE KNOWN UNLIKE DEREK WHO COULDN’T HAVE, umm: 
a) that’s not how trust works, its not by proxy, you either trust someone or you don’t and someone else telling you that you shouldn’t does not in fact render a betrayal of trust any less a betrayal of trust, this is LITERALLY just victim-blaming the betrayed, something that people are absolutely aware of because just imagine the shrieks of protest if someone were to posit an AU where someone warned Derek not to trust Kate but he still did anyway and so that made everything else that happened all his fault. 
b) you do not owe even your best friends unconditional trust in every opinion they have OVER your own opinions, it honestly truly DEEPLY makes me uncomfortable how often people raise this point because Stiles could distrust Theo all he wanted, Scott is still entitled to his own opinions based on his own perceptions of his own interactions with Theo, which were different than Stiles’ interactions, and Scott was in no way, shape or form obligated to uphold Stiles’ perceptions and interactions of and with Theo as more important than Scott’s own, what even is that wtfuckery
c) Stiles’ distrust of Theo was unfortunately watered down and diluted by the fact that he was lying to Scott and keeping secrets from him for weeks, which was his right and he was traumatized himself by what happened with Donovan, but the flip side of that is Scott was keenly aware that Stiles was lying to him about stuff and even had a whole freaking monologue about it and how he wished Stiles would just talk to him and tell him what he was hiding and in what universe is someone obligated to unconditionally believe their friend and abide by what they’re saying and wanting WHILE AT THE EXACT SAME TIME being lied to by that same friend? 
d) Stiles’ distrust of Theo was additionally watered down and diluted by the fact that even after he had actual foolproof evidence that Theo was a liar and not to be trusted, he refrained from informing Scott of this because he prioritized his own feelings about what might come out about him in the process of telling Scott, which again, was absolutely his right to do and be worried about but it is NOT his right to be retroactively extradited from any role he played in Scott’s perceptions of events that season by not divulging this information even while actively still JUDGING Scott for not acting on information re: Theo that Scott literally did not have to act upon, just his own interactions with Theo where Theo was actively and continually working on being seen as not only trustworthy but INVALUABLE in Scott’s eyes, while everyone else was off preoccupied with their own stuff leaving Scott with no one BUT Theo to turn to. Which was literally Theo’s entire plan in dividing them in order to make Scott vulnerable in the first place, just as Scott ultimately was more victimized by Theo than any of the other surviving members of S5 as he was the one y’know, MURDERED, but again let’s talk some more about how it was Stiles and everyone else who was more betrayed and let down by Scott’s choice to trust Theo than Scott was himself 
(and so help me GOD if someone brings up Josh or Tracy like they give a fuck about them, lolol, fun fact, but most of the posts about Josh and Tracy in S5 while it was airing were mine, like, 90% of their tags was me posting, yeah c’mon guys we’re aware I can be prolific when I hyper-fixate I’m not exaggerating here lol I POSTED ABOUT JOSH A LOT OKAY lololol. So I keenly remember the weeks between Josh’s death episode and the episode which revealed that Scott got to Deucalion before Theo did, because that was two whole weeks of people being like who the fuck cares about Josh, other than like, me and some mutuals, until the SECOND fandom found a way to spin Scott as being tangentially responsible for Josh’s death, at which point suddenly it was like OMG JOSH WE LOVED YOU ALL ALONG, WE’RE SO SORRY THAT MONSTER DID THIS TO YOU. The whiplash would be hilarious if I didn’t hate it so much)
e) Stiles’ distrust of Theo was additionally watered down and diluted by the fact that he was WRONG about everything he initially brought up as WHY he distrusted Theo, his whole thesis to Scott at the start of the season was that he didn’t trust Theo because he remembered Theo from fourth grade and Theo wasn’t Theo but uh.....yes he was. He wanted Scott not to trust Theo on a basis that was flawed and had no grounding in reality other than Stiles’ own unreliable gut instincts with no care or concern whatsoever for Scott’s own gut instincts, and simultaneously, Stiles in the throes of being like THEO IM ON TO YOU YOU FAKER (Theo in the distance: Lol no you’re not, you just don’t like me, there’s a difference), ANYWAY, Stiles at the exact same time as being focused on not just Theo but what he felt Scott SHOULD be doing and thinking in regards to Theo and Stiles’ opinions, somehow managed to completely overlook and give no fucks about Scott’s ACTUAL thoughts and actions re: Theo, as if he had been paying more attention to the actual character of his friend rather than just his perception and assumptions about his friend, he would have noticed that Scott DIDN’T blindly trust Theo from the start, because Scott DOESN’T actually blindly trust anyone and actually has trust issues out the wazoo from all the times he’s been hurt, betrayed and let down by people he cares about from his deadbeat dad to the many murder and manipulation attempts of Peter, whom he has canonically never trusted despite Stiles’ insistence that he even trusts Peter (lol where? when? source?).....ergo, ipso facto, forsooth and all that good shit.....Stiles wanted Scott’s complete obedience and allegiance in S5 to everything he said and thought while at the exact same time giving no fucks about anything going on WITH Scott himself. Hashtag friendship goals, am I right guys?
f) the fatal flaw of the Sciles schism in S5 was not in fact the warring opinions on Scott and Stiles’ respective trust and distrust of Theo, but rather what S5 revealed about Scott and Stiles’ respect trust and distrust of EACH OTHER. In point of fact, the only thing truly revealed by the events of that season is that Scott doesn’t automatically trust just anyone, but that his trust must be EARNED - a process Theo invested considerable effort in doing, as he actually paid attention to Scott and the actuality of things he said and did and why - and that Stiles in contrast doesn’t just automatically distrust anyone, but rather makes snap judgments about whether or not to PUT his trust in others based on what he’s feeling. 
Basically, my point is that Scott views trust as a function of information gathering and ultimately a decision to put it to the test or not, to actually just say okay based on what I know and feel at this point, I am making the choice NOW to trust in someone. Stiles in contrast, views trust as something he doesn’t fundamentally NEED in his interactions with people, and as such he uses it to shore up and buttress various other things about himself and his interactions with people. 
This is why Scott started out the season WITH reservations about Theo, that led to him asking Deaton questions about how vulnerable he and his pack might be due to allowing a strange newcomer into their midst, but ultimately placing more and more trust in Theo as the season went on, BASED on Theo’s ongoing campaign to win Scott’s trust by seeming trustworthy and helpful and supportive. 
Meanwhile, Stiles started out the season WITH reservations about Theo, that informed all his actions regarding Theo UNTIL he got concrete proof that Theo was a liar, BUT continued to interact with Theo and even work alongside him even KNOWING he wasn’t trustworthy, because trust was not after all the most important element informing his actions because it never HAD been. More importantly, the reason this all plays more into Scott and Stiles’ view of each other than anything to do with Theo, was because the ONLY reason Theo was able to play them against each other was Theo keyed into the fact that Stiles, despite placing a lot of importance in the IDEA of trust, never actually fully makes the leap into actually PLACING his trust in ANYONE, even someone like his best friend Scott, who has proven MULTIPLE times how invaluable Stiles is to him.....because if Stiles ever HAD fully placed his trust in Scott, he would have been able to look at the concrete precedent of Scott saying throughout the entire nogitsune ordeal that he flat out didn’t CARE if people died because of the nogitsune, because of Stiles himself, he wasn’t going to sacrifice Stiles to save the lives of strangers he just simply doesn’t value as being more important to him than Stiles himself. 
And by extension, if Stiles HAD ever fully placed his trust in Scott after this, then his fears about Donovan would have fallen by the wayside as - just like it was ultimately proven out in 5B after Scott heard the WHOLE story and not the parts Theo told him backed up by the lies of ommission Stiles HADN’T told Scott and the fact that Scott had been keyed into Stiles’ feelings of guilt over something for weeks - Scott would then have expressed to Stiles just as he ultimately DID express to Stiles: that he can tell the difference between self-defense and cold-blooded murder, and Stiles killing Donovan in self-defense was not a problem for Scott and NEVER WAS OR WOULD HAVE BEEN.
In conclusion, the biggest issue in S5 is not that Scott trusts everyone, its that even after everything, Stiles still doesn’t even trust Scott.
And if you can’t trust the best friend who’s proven that he will literally do anything for you, at any time, just say the word, to such an extent that you’ll pull back from him and refrain from working with him and being around him AT THE EXACT SAME TIME as demonstrating that you will be around and work alongside someone you don’t even like and definitely do not trust.....
Then trust is not the be all and end all for you, and it never actually was, and if you can’t grant it to even your friend why does your friend owe you his, let alone UNCONDITIONAL trust in not just you, but every opinion and course of action you advocate for?
*bangs gavel* The defense rests. Or the prosecution rests. Fuck, I forgot which side I’m on. Am I accusing or defending? Idek.
Whatever. I rest.
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jeonqukie · 5 years ago
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OUT OF LOVE / 01.
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SYNOPSIS / After leaving a toxic and gruesome relationship with your former partner, your best friend is there to help pick up the broken pieces.
FEATURING / Jeon Jungkook.
GENRES / Jungkook being the biggest gamer & best best friend ever, lots of angst and secret feelings, lots of fluff especially from our soft bunny, and eventual smut.
WARNINGS / This part may contain some pretty self-deprecating commentary and there will be mature language used throughout the series.
WORD COUNT / 2k.
NOTES / I was studying for my psych exam, but I figured writing a quick jk drabble was more important than trying to pass this class. Enjoy! Feedback is very much appreciated. Thank you for reading!
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© All rights reserved to jeonqukie. All or portions of my work may not be reproduced, distributed, modified, or used in any way whatsoever without my permission.
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It hurt so much.
It hurt him so much to see you like this.
It has been two months; two months of you crying to him about your idiot boyfriend. For two months, you and your boyfriend had been getting into many arguments about virtually anything. 
If Jungkook can recall correctly, last week, you got into an argument with Eunwoo because he totally forgot to pay the Internet company your monthly bill.
He remembers the way you stormed into his apartment with your laptop, angrily typing in your password as you throw your bag at his couch and you slip a pair of earbuds into your ears.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He initiated the conversation late that evening. His bottle of beer had been half full and he was on a group call with his friends on Discord, ready to play the Overwatch the entire evening playing. 
Instead of talking it out that evening, you mention how you needed a stable internet connection to turn in your paper before the deadline.
You were dead silent that evening.
Often times, he would be at his computer desk playing video games and he’d turn back around to check up on you. That evening, you had been furiously typing away on your computer with knitted brows. This time, he sees that you had made yourself comfortable on his bed underneath his blankets.
Winning the first round of his game, he cheers along with his friends through the voice call, but it comes to an abrupt end when he turns around to see you had fallen fast asleep on his bed. A very weak grin forms on his visage and his heart throbs hard agains his chest when he carefully pulls the cover further up your body and he examines the screen of your laptop. He sees you have successfully turned in your paper that evening and he shuts the computer off, setting it on the nightstand.
However, his heart shatters when you sniffle, cuddling into his fluffy pillows. Fresh tears spill out of your closed eyes and he is hesitant to wipe them away afraid he may wake you up — afraid he may disturb what little peace you were getting that evening, so he lets the tears fall on your cheeks.
He’ll wipe them away later, he thought.
However, this time was different.
You had been planning on breaking up with Eunwoo for quite a while now because you were fed up. You were very much aware of the toxicity of your relationship; you two were not good for each other at all. But you wanted to make sure you covered your bases.
Since you lived with your boyfriend, you knew you two would fight about the apartment, so you started looking into different apartments around the area. You had been saving up enough money for a deposit and emergency cases.
Ready to have the conversation wit him, he beats you to it a week early.
It stung when he broke up with you. But shouldn’t you have been happy? This is what you had been planning for the past two weeks. You were talking to many leasing managers to find a one bedroom unit and you were meeting with a manager the following morning to settle upon the necessary documents and deposit to secure your spot in the apartment.
So why were you so crushed when he broke up with you?
After some intense arguments back and forth, in one hour, you decide to stop. You two were not going to get into an agreement at whose fault was it, who was going to keep what, and who was right and who was wrong. You remembered very vividly how your ex-boyfriend announced he was tired and that he was going to bed.
Obviously not wanting to spend the night on the same bed as him and not wanting to spend the night on your couch, just the mere idea of being in the same space as him was something you didn’t want to endure.
Almost immediately, you searched for a bag and you packed yourself a pair of pajamas and an outfit for the following morning to meet with the leasing manager close by. All of your grooming and hygienic necessities all stuffed inside the bag, you wasted no time to head out of your former abode.
It wasn’t the biggest of surprise for Jungkook to see you knocking on his front door. However, it never failed to break his heart when he sees you with the puffiest and reddest of eyes. You clutched onto your bag as tears began flowing out of your glassy eyes and the way his eyes soften at your appearance, he invited you in.
But you practically body him when you drop your bag inside his own home and you swing your arms on his neck, searching for the comfort you desired — the comfort you needed. All you needed was a best friend’s hug.
So you wailed your heart’s content that evening while Jungkook carried you over to his living room couch. A series of insecurities come spilling out of your mouth. You were at your most vulnerable and you confessed that you hadn’t even broken up with him. Instead, he had been the one who sealed the deal.
Jungkook could feel the anger boil in his blood, but you were in so much pain and all he wanted to do was pick up all of your pieces and fix you. You were so weak and fragile, so vulnerable to all of the demons of the world and you didn’t deserve it.
After an hour of consoling you, you had fallen asleep on his arms and he carries you over to his bed. He lays you downs gently, pulling the soft covers on you and he offers you his pillow, hoping that you would cuddle into it while he goes grab your bag and clean up the living room. He looks inside the bag you had packed and sees your pajamas and he realizes that you are more likely uncomfortable in your jeans and t-shirt.
When he walks inside his room, he would hate to wake you up to change into a pair of pajamas. But he wants to make you as comfortable as possible — as serene as possible.
“YN,” Hushed whispers fill the room and you refuse to open your eyes. “I saw you brought some pajamas, did you want to change into them?”
You nodded with the smallest of pouts, so you decide to sit up from where you laid. He snatches the delicate pieces of clothing inside your bag; an over-sized t-shirt along with a pair of pajama shorts. “I’ll leave the room. Feel free to leave your clothes by the bed and I’ll wash ‘em up.”
Leaving the room momentarily, Jungkook fetches a tall glass of cold water. It should have given you enough time to change out of your clothes and as he knocks on his door, your small voice can be heard from the other side of the room implying you were decent enough for him.
You had folded your clothes at the end of the bed and you were already retaking yourself underneath Jungkook’s bed and he sits opposite of you only to offer you the glass of water.
“Drink this before you go to bed.” You remained seated up and you gulp down nearly half of the glass. You place the glass on his nightstand and you notice Jungkook grabbing a large blanket he has inside his closet and you suddenly feel conscious of your sudden overzealousness to make yourself comfortable at his own home.
“I can sleep on the couch, Jungkook-ah.” You already peel the comforters off of your body and he is already shaking his head.
“Take my bed.” He insists and you are just as stubborn as he is, so you get up from his bed and you are shaking your head, taking the blankets off of his arms.
“YN, you need proper sleep. You have been telling me you have not gotten any actual sleep the last two months and you deserve one good night’s sleep.” He looks at you sternly and you feel so small in comparison to him. However, you were not satisfied with his response. You still didn’t want him to sleep in his own living room when he had a bed big enough to sleep two people.
“Sleep next to me.” You say so boldly. Though you had been best friends with Jungkook for the longest time and there were times you have slept on the same bed together, you two have never made the conscious decision of sharing the same bed together. His stern appearance is decimated with complete fluster. “W — what I mean to say is that you have a bed big enough for two people and I promise I’m not a fussy sleeper. We’ll make a barrier or something.”
You are already setting up a barrier of the plethora of pillows Jungkook had on his bed, leaving the both of you with one pillow each. “You can take the comforters while I take this.” You are already clutching onto the extra blankets he had and you are making yourself comfortable in your side of his bed already.
“Alright, fine, but I’m only agreeing because I’m sure you’re deadbeat tired right now.” Jungkook sighs in defeat and he is walking towards his side of the bed. When you tuck yourself into bed, your eyes widen when you see Jungkook peeling the black t-shirt off of his torso and he reveals his slim waistline along with his tattooed biceps.
“Wh — whoa, what do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m… getting ready for bed?”
“You sleep shirtless?” You question him and he looks at you confusingly as to why it was such a taboo decision to make.
“You know I sleep shirtless.” You were left speechless as you stare at his muscular physique. However, you find yourself snapping back to reality and you nod once.
“Right, whatever.” You swallow hard and turn to the other side, facing away from him. When he sees the blush creeping on your cheeks, he smiles mischievously in response to you looking away from him and he turns the lights off on the lamp off of his nightstand.
He slips himself underneath the comforters and you feel the weight being shifted towards his side of the bed where he lays comfortably, his own body facing away from you. “Goodnight, YN.”
“Night, Jungkook-ah.” You yawn as you lay comfortably in silence and, for the first time in two months, you revel in the complete silence, finally getting some sleep.
When Jungkook hears your steady breathing, he finally finds his peace as well when he closes his eyes shut to hear your soft sighs leaving your mouth.
“Kookie,” The nickname leaves your lips and, in his half-conscious state, he hums lowly in response. “Thank you… for this.” A small sniffle echoes in the room and, suddenly, his eyes flutter open once more. “I’m so fucking hopeless, but I promise I’ll —“
In an instant, Jungkook shifts his body to face your back.
Fuck the barrier, he thinks to himself.
Eliminating the plethora of pillows in his way, he pulls your frame closer to his and he slithers his bare arms around your waist. “Stop.” He demands and he nuzzles his face into your hair as he clutches your crying body. “Stop thinking right now, okay? Fuck him. Fuck everything about him. You’re… perfect and you don’t deserve this, okay? If you want to cry, you can cry, but don’t ever think you’re hopeless.”
He feels your head nod up and down and you continue to sob once again. All your thoughts continue to cloud your mind, but thankfully, Jungkook spend the rest of the evening holding you close, reassuring you that you had done nothing wrong and no one in this world deserved this kind of treatment.
When your strangled sobs have come to a gradual halt, Jungkook doesn’t peel his arm off of your frame. Instead, he breathes a sigh of relief when he feels your body rise steadily and heave a deep exhale.
He chuckles at the sight of your leg involuntarily kick and soft snores begin echoing his room. Now, his eyes flutter close, relieved you have found your peace — a universe far from reality.
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askmerriauthor · 5 years ago
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Pokemon SwSh Thoughts - Post Game
So I’ve finished Pokemon Sword’s primary content.  All that’s left is to finish up the PokeDex and drive myself insane trying to whip up all the variations of Alcremie.  That, and delaying buying an online subscription for as long as possible before I bother with trading to get the other game’s exclusives.  Here’s some thoughts on the game after the fact:
Pokemon SwSh really needed to come out in late 2020, period.  I’ve enjoyed the game so far, but I’ve played it for about a week without putting in too much time/effort grinding and I’ve already done pretty much everything there is to do.  I had my Starter leveled up to 100 before I even left the Wild Area for the very first time.  The pacing and content depth of this game are pretty much non-existent, whereas the majority of the effort has clearly been put toward refining the competitive combat development.  That’s great for those players who really like the battle system, but not so much for those of us who like story and broader gameplay elements.
Pro - Streamlined Gameplay One thing I’ve wanted in Pokemon for ages has been the ability to skip tutorials.  I understand the necessity of having them, as every game that comes out is going to be some player’s first and their presence is for that player.  But at least having the option to skip them for us old hats would be nice.  SwSh does that!  I was delighted to discover that the game allows you to bypass tutorials with a simple yes/no prompt when a new element is introduced.  How to catch Pokemon, type match-ups, how to heal at Pokemon Centers, and so forth - all the stuff previous games led us through by the nose has been made optional this time around.
I’ve seen some people saying that this game holds the player’s hand too much as it leads us from one gameplay element to the next and doesn’t let us progress at our own leisure.  To some degree this is true, but it’s far less egregious than in previous games, such as SuMo.  There’s yet to be a good balance between giving the player free reign and giving them enough guidance to ensure we never feel lost, but this has been an inoffensive example as far as I’m concerned.  The game does end up feeling rather railroaded, but I don’t necessarily consider that a fault of hand-holding. I’ll get to this matter later on.
Pro - The Style Galar is a very pretty region and the game makes good use of the Switch’s higher capacity to produce excellent backdrops for the player to explore.  Many of the Pokemon have charming animations (Falinks is my favorite on this respect).  The towns are all really well-designed in terms of visuals, especially compared to the bare-bones looks of older generations.  I feel like there could have been more, but what we got is still great.
Pro - Implications in Lore Those of you who know me know how much I love lore and world building.  Pokemon, as a franchise, is ripe with opportunity to examine its lore to the most tiny and obscure detail, so any new addition to the franchise is welcome on that front.  Galar has some pretty fascinating nuggets to contribute.
I love that the League in Galar, as well as competitive Pokemon Training in general, is treated like a career sport.  In specific, I love that this view and practice is exclusive to Galar - I wouldn’t like it at all if the entire franchise shifted to this angle, but it works great for a one-off region.  I like that Kabu specifically relocated himself from Hoenn to join the sports league as it doesn’t exist in his home region.  The Champion being a sort of major celebrity/superhero, the way Gym Leaders can recruit proteges or even inheritors of their rank from among contenders, the sort of clique all the Gym Leaders have with one another - it’s a really neat dynamic.  I also like the notion that actually completing the Gym Challenge isn’t something common and most Trainers who try rarely make it even halfway through.  That’s an interesting contrast to other regions where collecting Gym Badges seems almost as a given and the League itself is considered the real challenge, or where the whole endeavor is designed to be finished as a matter of course, like in Alola.
There’s also some really neat additions to the overall lore brought in from the Pokemon Masters mobile game.  While its place in canon is questionable, it does specifically mention Galar in a few places.  The idea that Pokemon who do not appear in the current Dex are banned from Galar by customs (perhaps identified as potentially dangerous/invasive species) is an interesting one.  So is the claim that Iris - the Champion of Unova in BW2 - is a cousin of Leon and Hop.  I love it when there are connections amid titles like that as it really helps build a more unified setting.
-Edit-: Darn, apparently those screenshots were fakes.  Strike that positive from the list, I suppose.
Mixed Pro/Con - The Availability of Pokemon and the Wild Area I’m not talking about Dexit - I have my own thoughts on that explained elsewhere and frankly don’t think it’s going to end up as bad as everyone is fretting over in the long run.  No, in this particular case I’m focused on the availability of Pokemon that are in the game itself.
To put it simply... it’s too easy.  I know that filling out the PokeDex isn’t supposed to be a huge challenge, but I’ve gotten the majority of it done - evolved forms, item-reliant forms, gender/size/color variations included - with pretty much no effort whatsoever.  I like the idea of the Wild Area in principle but what it ends up being in practice is lacking.  It’s too easy to just hoover up Pokemon at a breakneck pace, which leads to other zones and the Wild Area itself becoming pretty much immediately obsolete.  I have no need to return to them once I’ve gotten everything I need and there’s not enough general content to urge me to visit again.
The Wild Area itself is a big open sandbox that you can roam around in, which is nice compared to more linear zones in past games.  Galar has its railroad routes, but they’re brief (aside from the obligatory overlong water route, which even then is still quite a lot smaller than other regions’ have been).  However, it’s just that - a big open sandbox.  You can wander through it very easily and even traipse into the “high level” zones without fear because you can see all the Pokemon coming and give them a wide berth to avoid them.  There aren’t any obstacles or challenges within the Wild Area itself, and the game makes it supremely easy to find Pokemon even under specific weather/time conditions, which I feel is a missed opportunity.  I would have rather the Wild Area been MUCH bigger and more involved, full of places to explore and puzzles to solve.  Similarly, I would rather that Pokemon were more difficult to come by as well - that a greater deal of effort would have been put toward tracking and discovering certain harder-to-find Pokemon, with more in-game detective work to find your prize.
Mixed Pro/Con - The Characters The ensemble cast of new Gym Leaders are great - I enjoy the majority of them and frankly want more interactions, more encounters, just more in general.  That’s sort of the problem though - I want more.  The game itself criminally under-utilizes these characters, especially compared to how much more involved and explored Gym Leaders have been in recent games.  There is precious little content using the Gym Leaders here in Galar as it stands and I constantly found myself wanting them to hang out longer and have the chance to learn more about them.  Their League Cards are a neat little addition full of interesting tidbits about their histories, natures, and relationships with each other, but I would MUCH rather have gotten to see all that play out in the game itself rather than read it as a flavor blurb.
On the con side of this, however, is the fact that all of the characters are extremely one-dimensional.  We’ve been seeing a steady increase in the depth and development of supporting characters in the games since BW onward, with SuMo arguably having the most to date.  The overall characterization in SwSh is incredibly lacking by comparison as we don’t get nearly enough time to be with the cast, nor is the cast given the chance to present more than one note per.  Nobody has any sort of emotional growth or development.  The closest thing to a character arc in the game is Hop’s acceptance of the idea that he’s not going to be the Champion, but it doesn’t have anywhere near as much punch as it could and is over in the blink of an eye compared to how he spends THE ENTIRE GAME repeating the same “I’m gonna be the Champion/Hokage/Pirate King!” spiel every time he’s on screen.
Con - Dynamaxing and Max Raid Battles I’m not really on board with the whole “Mega-Evolution is best! No more gimmicks!” train because that’s just silly to me.  Every game has its gimmick and the way Pokemon gradually picks up tricks and traits from its past versions to consolidate into newer titles is one of its strengths.  That said, Dynamaxing is worthless and a pointless addition to the game, both in presentation and practice.
The visual of a Pokemon going kaiju is a neat concept and one I was initially intrigued by, but in practice it falls flat because it’s as thin as cardboard.  It’s just Mega-Evolution and Z-Moves smooshed together with an additional 3 round time limit tacked on.  All it functionally does is buff your Pokemon’s HP pool and add additional weather/status effects to certain attacks, but in some cases the Dynamax versions of attacks are actually weaker/less useful than their base form.  In Gym Battles all the way through the final League fight with Leon, I didn’t bother with Dynamaxing because my Pokemon were strong enough to not need it.  I could one-shot Dynamaxed Pokemon with ease using a non-Dynamaxed Pokemon and that really shows a flaw in the design if ever there was one.  Dynamaxing doesn’t add or improve anything vital to gameplay - it’s just fluff.
Max Raid Battles as found in the Wild Area are even worse.  For those of you who don’t know, these are instanced battles against a Dynamaxed/Gigantamaxed wild Pokemon where you team up with three other players/NPCs.  If you win, you get a bunch of useful items and have the chance to catch the wild Pokemon as well, which is the only way you can get certain Gigantamax-capable Pokemon reliably.
The issue with these Max Raid Battles is that they’re an absolute slog.  In the early stages of the game they’re all super easy to the point that I could solo them and thus gathered mountains of EXP-boosting candies, which let me overlevel my Pokemon beyond reason.  Since the whole “your Pokemon is too high level and won’t listen to you” thing apparently doesn’t apply to Starters and special Event Pokemon, I was able to max-level and run rampant across all opposition with my Starter and my special “thanks for buying early” Meowth.  HOWEVER.  The difficulty scale of the Max Raid Battles increases with your game progress, so by the time I finished the game and went back into the Wild Area, the Max Raid Battles’ difficulty had ramped up.  That’s an okay compromise on its face, but the manner in which the difficulty has increased is poor game design.  The battles aren’t any harder, they just take longer - the wild Pokemon has more HP,  tosses up a few rounds of shields to soak damage at the start and again halfway through the fight, and purges stat boosts from the player and party throughout the battle.  It just makes the fights a pain in the ass to get through rather than making them more challenging or fun, and it’s gotten to the point that I don’t even bother with them anymore.  They’re just not worth the trouble, not even for the sake of trying to farm EXP candies because, at this point in the game, all Pokemon in the Wild Area scale up to level 60+ and thus are perfectly serviceable as EXP farming fodder themselves.
On a lore side of things, Dynamaxing is really confusing.  There’s the whole visual aspect of the Pokemon growing to giant sizes and sometimes changing their appearances, and there’s these massive arenas built to facilitate the whole thing.  But the game itself goes out of its way to impress the fact that the Pokemon aren’t actually getting bigger.  They just appear to grow in size and haven’t actually physically changed themselves so Dynamaxing is more like a giant hard light holographic projection than anything else?  It’s just a really weird design choice to have made and I don’t understand why it was included.
Con - The Writing So, writing is very important to me.  It’s literally been my job for the past decade with various game studios.  I don’t consider myself any sort of literary snob as I feel there’s a place for schlock right alongside masterpieces - they all serve a specific purpose and fulfill a particular hunger the reader would like satisfied.
That said, SwSh’s writing is abysmal.
Right on the face, there’s not enough of it.  The game is criminally short and light on content, which directly impacts its pacing.  Remember earlier when I mentioned that things felt railroaded?  That’s because there’s not enough story to rest on - it all flies by as fast as can be, forcing the player along a very narrow and brief chain of events that don’t feel consequential at all.  Further, the player has no agency in events whatsoever.  It’s not the player’s story - it’s Hop’s story.  We’re the supporting role to his journey, shallow as that arc may be.  Hop is the one who initiates the events of the game without our input as a character and then we spend the entire game following him around, or being pushed into the next event by other characters who are facilitating Hop.  At no point is the player ever given the chance to express their own characterization, motivation, or even opinions.  Nearly every two-choice dialogue option that appears boils down to “Yes” or “Slightly More/Less Enthusiastic Yes”, which is a huge downgrade from the genuine negative responses and NPC reactions that were present in SuMo.
In terms of overall plot, SwSh has pretty much the same level of depth and complexity as the original Red/Blue titles, and that is as scathing a criticism in this modern age as I can possibly imagine.  The whole story is “run in a circle, collect badges, fight vaguely present villainous threat, fight league.”  We are actively forced from one gym fight to the next with no time to breathe, no story-focused events in between, and not even any chance to appreciate the gym, its leader, or even the towns they take place in.  It’s one and done - once you’ve got the badge there’s no reason to hang around and the story shuffles us along quickly as can be.  I mean that literally in some cases - there are hints of a greater plot at hand with Sonia investigating the history of Galar’s legends and the potential machinations of mega-corporate mogul Chairman Rose.  But each time those are broached in game play, the game pushes the player off-screen and says “Well, that’s not something you need to worry about.  Go get another badge!”  I mean, LITERALLY!  There’s a point where The Plot begins to kick in where Pokemon begin to spontaneously Dynamax and cause havoc, which is the narrative queue for the player to become involved and for the story to reveal a new facet.  But when that happens, Leon LITERALLY says “leave this to the adults, you just focus on your Gym Challenge” and runs off-screen to handle it himself.  It would be a good narrative subversion if it led up to things eventually getting out of hand and the player getting roped into things, or the player having the ability to defy such warnings and interject themselves into danger.  But that doesn’t happen - the game just forces us to focus on the Gym Challenge alone and keeps all the actual plot of the game off-screen away from us.  This is very poor narrative design and game design alike, and it all comes to nothing because we’re forced to clean up everything in the end anyway by battling the villain and legendaries as per usual.
Though I should also point out that there’s no villain in this game.
But what about Team Yell and Chairman Rose, I hear you ask?  They’re not villains, both literally and figuratively respectively.  Team Yell never really does anything other than act as brief gate locking elements throughout the game until you finish the Gym you’re at, then they bounce off to the next part of the route they’re set to block.  They don’t do anything bad and, as it’s later revealed, they’re actually just a bunch of Spikemuth Gym staffers who are posing as hooligans to support Marnie.  They’re literally not villains and, once you beat the Spikemuth Gym, they actually become supporting characters who cheer for the player character and help out against the actual supposed villain of the game.
The actual “villain” of the game is Chairman Rose and his assistant Oleana.  However, they’re only villains because the script says they are.  They don’t actually do anything bad throughout the entire game nor is there any indication that they have some sort of grand master plan.  The most we get is some unusual happenings like small quakes and explosions in the distance, but the game never allows us any chance to investigate - we’re just shoved off toward the next Gym each time.  So when Chairman Rose is finally revealed to be the Big Bad, it comes completely out of left field and seems to happen for no reason whatsoever.  Further, IT IS FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER.  Chairman Rose’s plan and goal is never explained in depth - all we get is the vague indication that he believes that Galar isn’t sustainable and there will be an inevitable energy crisis in about 1,000 years, and somehow his EVIL SCHEME will fix it.  But, like, even Leon flat-out says “I understand your concern but you’re being hasty, this doesn’t need to be rushed, chill out for five seconds and let’s figure this out reasonably”.  Instead Rose interrupts the Champion match and announces his EVIL SCHEME on global broadcast for literally no good reason.  There was no dire immediacy that required him to do it right then and there, or in that manner, but the plot needed to move us along so that’s how it goes.
It really doesn’t help that, prior to all this, there’s absolutely no indication at all that Rose nor Oleana are bad guys.  They’re just business folk who appear to have nothing but good intentions and support for Leon, with the other adults of the cast all happily trusting them.  There is nothing to make them seem suspicious in practice and they offer no reason to doubt them at all, so them suddenly being the bad guys is just confusing.  Further, how the player is first introduced to the concept of them being antagonists is easily the most ridiculous logic jump and overreaction I’ve seen since the old Adam West Batman television show.  So get this: after a battle, Leon says he’ll meet Player and Hop for dinner to celebrate.  Player and Hop wait for Leon, but he never shows up.  Another NPC explains that Leon was called in for a last-minute meeting by Chairman Rose (who is his boss and has made such requests of Leon’s time throughout the game, as I feel is important to point out) and apologizes for having to miss the dinner plans.  Simple enough sort of situation, right?  The sort of thing that any reasonable person would shrug and say “Well, that sucks but okay, let’s go eat on our own then” to, right?  So what happens here instead?
The Player, Hop, Marnie, and her Gym Leader brother GATHER A SMALL MOB AND STORM CHAIRMAN ROSE’S BUSINESS HQ, FIGHTING THEIR WAY THROUGH SECURITY.
I mean, escalation much?  We all have smartphones - just send Leon a text, for goodness’ sake.  I’m playing through these events constantly going “why the hell are we doing this and why is everyone acting like it’s some sort of dire emergency?”.  And do you know what happens when we finally kick down the doors to Chairman Rose’s office?  We find Chairman Rose and Leon quietly having a peaceful chat, after which Leon apologizes for having to cancel the dinner plans and we all walk out together like nothing happened.  It was just this huge, needless overreaction that has no consequence and that neither Rose nor Leon even bat an eye at.  We, as the players, learn absolutely nothing of importance and are back on the Gym Challenge immediately with no functional changes to the narrative.
Like... what was the point of that?!  How was that the best option to try and put Chairman Rose and his underlings into the role of antagonists for us to oppose?
So what is Chairman Rose’s EVIL SCHEME anyway?  Basically he wants to provide Galar with renewable clean energy which... uh... is bad?  Somehow?  Apparently he plans to use a Legendary Pokemon called Eternatus - apparently the source of Dynamaxing - which is literally never mentioned at any point in the game except precisely when it’s time to fight/capture it, nor does fighting/capturing it have any impact on the story or setting.  You would think that the player being in control of a massive Eldritch horror that has UNLIMITED POWER at its disposal would be something of a sticking point somewhere in the story, but no.  Eternatus and Rose’s plan are never mentioned until precisely the time you need to deal with them, and once that’s done they’re both never mentioned again.  Done and done all in one.  No gradual seeding of information, no hints and clues throughout the game, no development of lore - just wham, bam, thank you ma’am and off we go.
Y’know, call me silly but in a game that has undertones referencing climate change, extinction of animal species, and criticisms against capitalism run amok, is it really a good idea to depict the guy advocating for clean energy to be bad?  That feels like a missed mark to me.
The post-game plot, should one bother to call it that, is just inane.  It basically boils down to a pair of one-shot baddies who show up and say “Ha ha! We’re rich and that means we’re better than everyone! Watch as we cause trouble for vague reasons, get hoist by our own petard, and then fuck off forever! Byeeeee~!”  The post-game is completely pointless and doesn’t add anything of value at all.  Which, again, compare to older games like ORAS’ post-game expansion content and it’s nothing but a damn shame.
SwSh’s writing is shallow and limited at best, with one-dimensional characters, no genuine conflict or resolution, terrible pacing, and repetitive elements that boomerang around over and over and over again to the point of annoyance.  Compared to what we’ve seen Pokemon achieve in earlier titles like BW, ORAS, and SuMo, it makes it all the more obvious that SwSh was not given ANYWHERE near the time and love it needed in development and is a massive downgrade in that respect.
Con - Lots of Style, No Substance To wrap all this up - I enjoyed playing SwSh as much as I did any other early Pokemon game.  I think that, as a first installment on a new system, it’s fine.  That’s all - it’s just fine.  It’s serviceable as a means of establishing the franchise onto the Switch and completing its move off purely-mobile mediums like the Gameboy and 3DS.  It’s pretty to look at and has a superficial level of engagement, but its prettiness and level of content very quickly reveal themselves to be only skin deep.  Once you get past the initial gloss there’s really nothing to this game compared to the content, involvement, and writing quality displayed in past titles on lesser-powered systems.  The towns are all pretty but there’s nothing to do in any of them aside from a Gym battle - there’s no additional fun to be had in each location, making them little more than set pieces.  The characters have initial appeal and potential for more, but the game never explores them at all.  There’s room for a bigger narrative and interesting story with the elements presented, but no opportunity to actually see them fleshed out.  The Wild Area seems big and involved at first, but as soon as you’ve gone around its loop once or twice you suddenly realize how small and compartmentalized it really is, and it lacks any reason to revisit in the end game.  The major game play function - Dynamaxing/Gigantamaxing - is little more than a novelty that is basically irrelevant to gameplay itself and, in an absolutely baffling decision by the folk behind the official competitive scene, is actually somehow banned from being used in competitions?  Like, not even “we’ve disabled the Dynamax button in online” but rather “if the competitive Pokemon you’ve spent so much time perfectly constructing has a Gigantamax form, it will not even be allowed access at all, so you better have an identical non-Gigantamax version on hand if you want to play”.  So, what exactly is the point of even having Gigantamax Pokemon then?
Everything about SwSh seems half-baked.  The ideas are there but they aren’t finished.  It should have been given much more development time and, having been in the position of the creative/dev team under demands from the shareholders, I completely sympathize with Game Freak’s devs in all this.  SwSh is ultimately a weak product but one with a lot of good ideas that weren’t given the chance to really shine.  As such, I’ve got rather high hopes for the next installment to improve on the unfortunately thin foundation SwSh has set.  Game Freak’s team has given us some amazing Pokemon games in the past and, assuming they’re given sufficient time and resources to make a title to their satisfaction, I have every confidence they’ll do so again.
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Once Upon A Time, I Loved You
Hiiii can I request a angst fluffy piece of Zico getting jealous of you being of you being close w other male idols Bts and the other block b members specifically thanks you you're the best 
This was written by an old member of the blog! Thanks so much for his help way back when!
     Jiho smiles widely as you approach him, taking you into his arms without a second thought, not wanting to let go until you did. He didn’t want to be pushy with you. You glance at him again as he follows you around like a lost puppy. He was probably just alone right now and the boys had gone out to lunch or something without him because he had taken too long getting up. You didn’t really think about anything else, even though the reason that he was following you around was unbelievably obvious, you never picked up on it. He always went out of his way to spend extra time with you, and well, you just didn’t really feel all that much from it. Once upon a time, you liked him, you were crazy over him, and all you wanted was to curl up with him in your bed at night, sleeping soundly on his chest, falling asleep to the soft rhythm of his heartbeat. He never reciprocated the feelings though.
     You both eventually come across the other boys, smiling when they all ran over to welcome you, and the thought of Jiho following you around completely skipped through your head. He immediately felt sad, just kinda, defeated in a way. He’d been trying so hard to grab your attention and keep it for himself, but you didn’t notice him anymore. Not the way that you noticed Jimin or the way you noticed Kyung. Kyung just being absolutely adorable, but then Jimin pulling you down on his lap, being cute and cuddly with you, always stealing little kisses on your cheek, wrapping his arms around your waist. It all killed Jiho inside piece by piece. He wondered if this is how you felt. The days you spent following him around like a lost puppy, the way that you did whatever he asked for like a wealthy man’s butler or maid, the way that you always found a way to find time with him alone, even if it was for 30 seconds just to admire his perfect smile or the way that he laughs when you tell him a really bad joke. You chose to ignore the feelings that day, not really bothering with any of it. You just scurried over to Jimin, curling up to him, feeling no guilt as you slowly shattered Jiho’s heart. He gets up, ignoring the rest of the boys as he just walks out of the room with his head held low, refusing to go back into the room and record the video that BTS and Block B had planned fimling that day. 
     You didn’t even consider his feelings when he ran off, instead just continuing to flirt lightly with Jimin while the sniffling boy walks down the hall, finally having enough of it all. Even Kyung glanced over at you, giving you a look. What the hell did he want you to do in the first place? Run off after him, giving him the conversation he so desperately wants? What the fuck happened to that conversation when you were drooling over him, probably willing to bend over backwards just to do what he wanted you to do? Honestly, right now, your initial thought was “fuck him”. He had this coming from him from the start. He had his chance with you, and you weren’t really going to chase after him, trying to find out what was wrong, and based on how he saw you looking at Jimin the same way you used to look at him, he might not have wanted to see you, especially around Jimin. Taeil walks over to you, pulling you off Jimin’s lap, and telling you to go take care of what you’ve clearly caused. Jimin, obviously embarrassed, apologizes. It wasn’t his fault, he didn’t have a single clue about what was going on right now. Who’s fault was it? Yours, and only yours.
     “Ji...?” You asked, knocking loudly on his door, finally having given up because of the other boys. “Please just open the door...” You mumbled, hearing him shift around the room, stopping at the door, before walking away, stomping loudly. “Jiho I swear to fucking god if you do not open this god damn door right now I swear I will-” He cuts you off, aggressively opening the door, red puffy eyes, obvious signs of crying. 
     “You swear you will what? Tell me that the second I start to reciprocate your feelings, you just start to ignore me? Decide on getting really close with my best friends, while treating me like I was a fucking ghost, like I didn’t even exist? Prance around in a cute little summer dress while you sit down practically worshiping Jimin, flirting with him loud enough for me to hear while you sneak little kisses and while you grope his crotch because you obviously don’t give two fucks about who’s in the room? To literally play so dumb to the point where I have to sit and watch the girl that I’m trying so hard to grab the interest of basically mindfuck a guy in the same room as me? What happened to being followed around every day? What happened to the cute little jokes that I used to hear all the time? What happened to you helping me with coffee in the morning for the rest of the boys? What happened to all the time you wanted to spend with me? What happened to the cute little flirtatious letters that were left on my door, obviously from a certain individual. What the fuck happened to you wanting to be with me? What the fuck happened to you when you would tell me every day that you wanted to cuddle and watch a movie or go out to lunch because you didn’t pack anything that day and you were hungry?” He asked, breathing heavily, tears flowing from his puffy eyes again. “What happened to the girl that used to crush over me endlessly? She became something else the second I finally realize that I’m into her. She toyed with my emotions in front of everybody. So before you tell me that I’m in the wrong, before you tell me that you don’t know a god damn thing about what’s happened, stop playing dumb with me because I’m not fucking stupid. I’m not an idiot.” He mumbled, staring at you in the doorway, breathing heavily, red in the face, fists clenching and unclenching. “And not once... not once did you ever tell me that you weren’t into me anymore. That was the hardest part, you decide to go and lead me on.” He hissed. “How could you be so despicable?”
     Speechless. That’s what you are. There aren’t any words coming out of your mouth, no do you think that they’ll ever come out. “I... I-”
     “You’re what? You’re sorry for playing with my emotions? You’re sorry for blindsiding me by suddenly showing absolutely zero interest in me whatsoever?” He asked, demanding an answer. With the lack of response, he snickers. “Yeah, I thought so. You just decided to fuck with my head and then run off to another boy to play with him too.” 
     “No that’s not the case I swear just please listen to me!” You shout, stopping the slamming door with your foot, not letting him really just, run off just yet. “You don’t understand I swear it’s not the way it really is jut please take some time to listen to me!”
     He stands there, glaring at you, opening the door, stepping back, almost demanding what you have to tell him. “Hurry up, I’m sure your boy Jimin is sitting out there with half a boner, just wanting to get some special alone time with you like you’ve been promising. Are you really that kind of girl? I thought you were swee-”  You slap him, hard enough to knock him back a couple steps before approaching him, and kissing him roughly. 
     “I wanted you. I wanted you so bad....”
     “Then why did you do this to me?”
     “I don’t know... I don’t have an answer for you...”
     “Then why are you kissing me? Why are you trying to show me that you care then...?”
     “ I still can’t answer you....”
     “Then why did you come up here...?”
     “Because.... once upon a time, I was convinced I was, and I still know that deep inside... I am....Jiho... I loved you, and I think I still kinda do.” You mumbled, embracing his tender remark, kissing you softly before he steps back. 
     “Unless you plan on spending the night cuddling with me, I highly suggest that you get out. I’ve already dealt with enough heartbreak today... I don’t want to deal with more.... At least not while you’re around me.” You shake your head, feeling your heart beat out of your chest. You hesitate, and he sighs. “Until you can make up your mind. Fuck off and go play with your boy toy. I’m done chasing after love I never had a chance with in the first place.”
     You stopped for a second to even think, but he knew that it wasn’t worth pulling you down on his bed unless you were resolved. “Go on now, go play with Jimin, until you’ve finally realized that you’re only messing with him, the very same way you messed with me.” He mutters, shooing you out of the room, locking the door. 
     You knew that not all stories came with a happy ending, where all of your emotions explode in a fury of anger, jealousy, lust, and sadness, but you just couldn’t fathom why it had to happen to yours.
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katasstrophey · 6 years ago
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Yours and Yours Alone
*PART 1*
Part 2 of 3: Yours and Yours Alone
Pairing: M’Baku x Reader
Length: 2.k + words
Warning: none.
A/N: Another one shot in my tripartite Hurt!M’Baku mini-series because I get off on hurting our favourite thicc daddy. This is not related to the first part, just think of this as M’Baku in another life - it seems he has no luck in the love department. 
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It had been all been T’Challa’s idea.
It had all been T’Challa’s fault.
Along with opening Wakanda to the world, T’Challa had decided to pursue yet another initiative: fortify the African continent as a whole starting with creating socioeconomic alliances with the neighbouring countries of Wakanda.
M’Baku, having become somewhat of T’Challa’s right hand man, was declared leader of such an initiative that opened the Jabari lands to outsiders that were soon to become allies.
The head of five African countries and M’Baku met religiously to discuss, debate, concede and argue in the hopes of getting the alliance treaty signed by all members of the conclave.
The first time the six leaders all met, M’Baku gauged each of them, confident that all would go smoothly, that is before his eyes fell on her.
She marched into the conference hall with her head held high and a confidence that could not be shaken. As the only woman in the room, M’Baku knew she would either be white noise or the only voice he heard.
His heart hammered in his chest as she marched straight to her assigned seat and sat down before he could give the word to do so.
Rage ignited in M’Baku’s heart. How dare this woman march in his room and insult him in such a manner.
As a scowl made its way onto the Jabari leader’s face for in his heart he knew that this would not be the last of her attempts to set him ablaze.
Leader of Warunda, M’Baku soon found out who that woman was.
As the leader of a small country east of Wakanda known for its agriculture and craftsmanship, the woman carried herself with much pride and dignity. The harvest had not been plentiful this year; her people were hungry, her people were suffering, she had come into these negotiations with no plan to compromise.
She wanted it all.
The woman refused to give them her name, only answering only to chief. She continued to push each of his buttons throughout the entirety of the negotiation process as she taunted and argued over the very smallest details of the treaty.
Despite the fact that she drove him mad, M’Baku couldn’t help but be mesmerized each time she took a stand and defended her interests. However selfish they might be, she was passionate and she was real and she was raw and she was beautiful.
After a particularly tense session, she had cornered him. Like a prey falling in the grasp of a predator he had fallen hard, not being able to stop himself from inviting her to stay for dinner.
It was a wonderful occasion to change her mind on the treaty, to soften her up and bring her to accept his terms and finally to enable him to break the spell she had placed on him.
Such lies were long forgotten as her warm hand met his arm. M’Baku was dancing with the devil hoping and praying he would get burned within her flame.
He was nothing but ash when he led her to his chambers and felt her soft skin beneath his large hand.
When her lips met his, M’Baku swore she was pulling his soul out of his body and when his body met hers he swore he would let her keep it.
When he awoke she had left. With a part heart, his soul and nonetheless a two of his prized gold rings he had worn the previous day.
That woman, the daredevil.
M’Baku promised Hanuman he would unleash his anger on her the second he saw her again.
Hanuman forgave his servant for such a lie the second the thought erupted into the latter’s mind.
The next time the Jabari chief’s eyes fell upon hers, his breath hitched. The Warunda chief glowed particularly bright that day.
It might have been the reflection of the sun on the his rings she had attacked on a chain across her neck or it might have simply been that M’Baku was indeed going mad. Whichever one it was, M’Baku knew he would be obliged to ask her to dinner once more.
There was no more soul of his to be sucked out by her as the woman pushed M’Baku down on his bed so as the dawn broke, she settled with stealing his breath this time.  
·
“You’re mine.”
It was in the way she moved, in the way she smiled, in the way her tongue weaved lies that would have a sane man go mad.
M’Baku almost dared question her, on the rare countless nights their caucus consisted of them and only them.
“Are you mine?”
The question never left his mouth. Who was he kidding. M’Baku might have been hers, but she belonged to no man.
No man, no woman, no one.
Not even herself.
She was a reckless wave of pure chaos locked into the body of a five foot four sun-kissed goddess. That woman made all in her midst combust for no reason whatsoever other than the fact that she could do just that.
His men could tell that he loved it when she marched all over him, and yet M’Baku would rather claim to be Wakabi’s lover than admit that fact out loud.
If such revelations were truly the only means to save his life, the Jabari tribe leader would say that he did indeed love it, because it was only then that he would have her near, that he would be able to smell the deathly sweet perfume he imagined she sprayed religiously on the base of her neck each time she came around.
He loved that he was hers.
He also loved the way his spear met hers on that wretched battlefield – with such force and passion, with such fire and desire.
She fought for Thanos, the creature who had managed to deceive her and her people.
“Stop this madness!”
M’Baku hoped his yells could be heard over the sounds of the battle raging around them ; by the way her face darkened and the power with which she struck him, the Jabari tribe leader was certain she had heard him loud and clear.
People, his people, fell to the right and left of him as extra-terrestrial beings swarmed the sacred Wakandan ground. M’Baku shook the grief away as he tried to focus on the battle that was before him – the key to his demise.
“You cease this!”
She was pleading with him, beckoning him to join her twisted cause, to drop arms and let her have her way with him, like she always did.
M’Baku stood strong, this time.
“Listen to me! This Thanos has fooled you into believing whatever nonsense he has been spewing. All that comes out of his mouth are lies, lies you hear me!”
M’Baku prayed Hanuman, Bast, whomever, that she would, for once in her life, heed his word.
“You’re the one who has been fooled, M’Baku!”
Sweat now trickled down his spine as she continued to meet his strong blows with her harsh ones. He admired her physical prowess and had to admit that she was a true beast on the battlefield.
M’Baku’s anger grew just then, he had hoped that one day they would both battle side by side and not one against the other.
“Listen to me!” M’Baku roared in desperation, “he will end us all!”
M’Baku could see for the first time angry tears fall upon the woman’s face as she faltered in her attack, “He promised us land, resources, he promised us more than poverty and strife!”
Spear to his side, M’Baku took her moment of hesitation as a chance to march closer towards her.
Before he could reach for her she was torn from his sight, shoved to the side by one of the alien beasts who, it seemed, had no sense of sides, their only goal being death.
A guttural scream made its way out of M’Baku’s mouth as his spear was raised, this time to pry the monster off of the woman who had captured much of his essence.
As the Jabari tribe leader struck the beast again and again, a sigh of relief escaped him as it let out a tone-deafening screech and fell still atop of the Warunda chief who managed, with great difficulty to push it off of her now mangled body.
M’Baku rushed down to her side, examining the damage that had been done. The alien monster had clawed and bit his way into the woman’s side leaving out in the open marred and bloodied flesh. There was no way she would survive this.
A small smile made its way onto the woman’s bloodied face as she left his eyes to gaze at the spear he had left to the grown when he had hastily kneeled down beside her.  
M’Baku followed her gaze only to have his eyes harden.
“No.”
“You have to.”
M’Baku shook his head furiously, all the while attempting to disregard the hell raging around him.
She was right. She was always fucking right. There was no way she would survive this. There was no way he would survive this. Heeding to her word was the only way he could spare her of more pain, more hurt, more misery.
Tears skewed his vision as his hand left her wound and grabbed his spear.
“Like ripping off a bandage,” she encouraged him, her voice, for the first time, soft and gentle.
M’Baku closed his eyes shut.
They never even had a fighting chance.
Her small gasp of surprise forced him to open his eyes. He has plunged the spear straight into her body without a moment of hesitation. She would not have to suffer for much longer.
“Why would you make me do this?”
Each word was choked out harshly as though it pained him to utter them.
Her eyes were closed, M’Baku didn’t think she would reply.
“We wouldn’t have been that great anyways,” a small smile made its way on her face.
M’Baku grabbed her hand a little tighter, he could see bloodstains on her teeth.
The Jabari tribe let out a small sob.
“No. We would have been spectacular. Not even Hanuman could have stopped us.”
“A part of me is sorry,” she breathed in, “deep down I am sorry, M’Baku. I’m sorry for you – your heart is too big.”
M’Baku couldn’t believe than even in her dying moments she would mock him, and yet knew he shouldn’t be surprised.
“Trust me, you’ll just end up getting hurt,” the woman added letting out a small laugh before she let go of M’Baku’s hand.
It was his turn to let her go.
As he did just that, M’Baku couldn’t help but stumble at the weight that crushed his heart. He shook the grief away – There was a war to be fought and a land to die for.  
·
He hated it.
No – he hated her.
The way she marched into his throne room and he hated how he knew he could do nothing about it.
He despised her with a passion.
He despised how he became putty in her hands, how he became enthralled with her very being and how he knew that would only lead to his destruction.
M’Baku could not help but crave that fire she sparked within.
He hated how they told him that she would betray him and that she would bring him nothing but harm because he knew that himself.
He didn’t need them to remind him that she was the key to his demise.
And so, he looked at her that last time she threw the door open to his conclave, all heads turning to see her strut towards him, a smirk on her face, eyes blazing.
M’Baku’s heart fell to his stomach for he knew in her sight he was nothing.
He supposed he was nothing in her sight.
He thought he was nothing in her sight.
He hoped he wasn’t nothing in her sight.
He knew he was nothing in her sight– he hated that too.
It was the last time she did so, look at him as though in her sight he was nothing, the sun reflecting his her rings she kept hanging around the chain on her neck.
For the next moment they would have together, he would be kneeling over her bleeding body while she, eyes still blazing, mocked him with her dying breath. He loved how he hated the fact that he would always be hers.
·
Voilà!
·
Tag list: @elaindeereads​ @myrikal324​ @muse-of-mbaku​ @drsunshine97​@mslaufeyson​ @theunsweetenedtruth​ @lesqui​ @turn-thy-paige
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minaminokyoko · 6 years ago
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Captain Marvel: A Spoilertastic Review
Well, here we are. Our first female-led Marvel movie (unless you count Ant Man and the Wasp, which I kind of do because Scott was basically useless and Hope ran the whole movie like a boss, but too bad she ran the show on a dull, rushed movie). How does it measure up?
It's fine.
I'd coin Captain Marvel as good, not great. It's definitely a popcorn flick, in the same vein of Ant Man for sure in terms of where it fits in our giant pantheon of MCU movies. I'd rank it dead center, so slightly underneath Cap 1 and Thor 2, but above Doctor Strange. I think Ant Man is a good comparison for the tone and the enjoyment of this movie, although it does do more to characterize the main lead than Ant Man did for Scott Lang. To be fair, though, somehow they end up in the same spot for my personal rankings.
So let's dive in and see why.
Overall Grade: B-
Pros:
-Plenty of action. No shortage on that whatsoever.
-Lots of off-world adventures, for those fans who sometimes are annoyed that too many MCU movies are earth-based. We don't hit earth until about the halfway point and there are still some shenanigans then.
-The dynamic between Carol and Fury is a lot of fun. Larson and Jackson work off each other's energy very well and the banter feels fun and familiar without ever veering into any weird territory. Fury is just as effective as ever at her side, and it's before he becomes full on grumpy Dad Fury, so he's a lot less cold and it's fun to see.
-It was also delightful getting to see Coulson one more time, although it's a cameo, not a whole role as some of the trailers sort of imply.
-The female relationships are probably the strongest in the Marvel lineup, aside from Black Panther. Particularly Carol, her best friend Maria, and Maria's daughter. We don't see a ton of it, but it's just enough to put a huge grin on your face. It's very warm and endearing. I also like that Maria was not only a supportive best friend struggling to get over her loss, but she got to join the action as well, and it was badass. I really am happy with Marvel pushing forward to give black women more representation in the superhero genre. Too many folks think black women in film are only sassy best friends or baby mamas or Tyler Perry stereotypes. We love sci-fi/fantasy just as much as everyone else, and so I loved seeing two beautiful black actresses shining next to Brie Larson and Samuel L. Jackson. It lends the film a lot of heart.
-Brie Larson is relatively decent in the role. She has some moments better than others, but overall, she did a good job. It never felt like she couldn't handle the work of beating some ass, and she sold me far more than Gal Gadot did as Wonder Woman. Which, yes, I know, it's unfair and kind of tasteless to compare them, but I have to note it since I didn't care for the WW movie that this is what I was talking about with film presence. Gal Gadot, to me, looks like a supermodel wearing a Wonder Woman costume. To me, she never embodied the poise, agility, and strength that Diana has in the comics or in the animated series. I believed Gadot more during the softer parts of the WW movie, but she couldn't pull off the action because she just doesn't have the presence. Larson does, imo. She carries herself in a manner that makes me feel like she can kick your ass. She has a stance and a stature that allows me to feel her strength, and it's in line with other Marvel women like Widow, Okoye, or Scarlet Witch.
-My favorite part of the movie is hands down the "I'm Just a Girl" by No Doubt scene. Oh my God. I was internally squeeing and singing along with the lyrics while she kicked ass. I was so delighted to see them perfectly use that song that I already liked in high school anyway, and it just worked so well.
-I also liked the montages of Carol getting back up. That is a really, really important image for the girls growing up to see. It's not about how many times you fall. It's about how many times you still get back up. That's great. We fall and get dirty and scuffed and mocked and hated. But we still get up and try again every time. Love it. It's very empowering.
-The de-aging looked pretty good. Jackson is tougher since he's gained weight since the size he was back in the 90's but they filled in his wrinkles well enough. Coulson's looked better, although I did notice just it a tad bit during the stairwell scene, but overall, I thought it was well done.
-Gosh, her costume looks amazing. I want it. I want to wear it for Halloween. It's gorgeous.
-The sequence of the Skrulls acquiring her memories was very neat and uniquely done. Kudos.
-THE MOTHERFUCKING FIRST END CREDITS SCENE. Y'ALL. I SCREAMED. I SCREAMED AND CLAPPED MY HANDS SO HARD I HURT THEM. OH MY GOD. SHE'S ON EARTH. THE QUEEN IS ON EARTH AND WE SHALL ALL BE SAVED. SHE IS GOING TO TURN FUCKING THANOS INTO FUCKING PURPLE CLAM CHOWDER WITH HER BARE HANDS FOR KILLING FURY AWWWWWW YEEEEEEEEEEAH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. Ahem. Sorry. I am really goddamn excited about that tiny piece of Avengers: Endgame because Marvel and the Russos have been so fucking stingy with details. We still don't know the plot. We only have that 30-second Superbowl spot and the Sad Stark trailer. I was livid they didn't give us a final trailer in front of this movie, but I guess with it a month and change away, they're just banking on us frothing at the mouth wanting more. Jerks. But anyway, yes, this fucking scene is mint and I wish I could rewind it.
-Nick naming the Avenger Initiative after her was a great cherry on top moment.
-I fucking lost it when Nick started singing “Mr. Postman.” Deadass, I just started listening to that song about a month ago thanks to that one famous Vine where those dudes sung it acapella. I was dying. You go, Nick. 
Cons:
-This movie overall has a bit of a bland taste to it. It's most revolving around Carol. The problem is that I think they were too chicken to dive deeply into who she is and her personality and her desires because they were afraid the feminists would complain that they made her too soft, so they replaced it all with action. Which is fine, some people just want a girl kicking ass, but I think it did Carol and Larson a disservice by rushing everything and doing drive-by characterization. The dialogue doesn't stick as well due to the bland flavoring, for example. If you ask me who Carol Danvers is, I can't really tell you. I can tell you what she does, but not who she is. I regret that probably the most out of everything. This movie is a bit of a vehicle than a movie where we discover who she is. We discover what she is, but not who she is. She's kind of just every tough, stubborn, smartass female lead you could see in maybe an Avengers OC fic on AO3. She really needed more distinct quirks and likes and dislikes, and I really fault them for cutting out her life on the Kree planet. It would have shown us so much more about her if we knew what her Kree life was like juxtaposed against her original human life, and it could up the stakes and help them sink it, and give more immediacy and concern to the dangers she faced.
-The villains were telegraphed. Again, people ding Marvel for this all the time. It's because they seem to struggle with balance. Often, the villains are thin to cut down the running time by not developing them at all. It's a shame. I've always found Jude Law very entertaining and I think they should have given him something to work with other than Obvious Bad Guy Pretending To Be Good. It was so transparent, much like the bitchy sister villain from Incredibles II. He might as well have been twirling a mustache. I mean, any dude who tells you your emotions are bad is probably not on the up-and-up. And it would have been better to see him and Carol square off at the end in an emotional battle than for it to just be a cheap shot and a joke. But I digress.
-While there was a lot of action, aside from the "Just a Girl" sequence, I will forget it all by morning. I think they wanted the movie to have mass appeal, so a lot of it comes across as generic. The stuff that stands out more are bits like finally seeing what alien Goose actually was or some of Fury's quips and the bits with Maria's daughter and Carol. The action itself is serviceable, but I'd have liked it to have more flavor if possible.
-Not outlining the limit to Carol's powers. This is going to be tough lining up with Endgame because she's so god-like we're gonna wonder if she just bitchslaps Thanos and that's the end. She feels overpowered without the chip limiting her, so I would have liked them to give us some kind of idea as to how she won't just wipe the floor with him in retribution in Endgame.
-Nitpick: Nick losing his eye to Goose annoyed me. People called it. I didn't want them to be right, but ugh, they were. It was a bit too silly for me.
-Nitpick: They really didn't need to waste our time with the second end credits being Goose puking up the Tesseract. We knew he did. You didn't have to show it, dummies.
-Nitpick: Was hoping for some 90's era cameos from at least one other Avenger, but no such luck. Damn. What a letdown.
I had fun, and I am eager to see her fit into the rest of the MCU. And I am also selfishly even more interested in Kamala Khan someday popping in as the new generation of heroes. Please, God, give me Kamala Khan. I want her and my son Peter Parker to team up and be the cutest superhero dorks ever. But until then...God help us all. Endgame is coming.
Enjoy the sunlight coming off of Ms. Danvers.
Because it's finna get dark up in here, my children.
See you in Endgame.
Kyo out.
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ilosttrackofthings · 6 years ago
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May I please request simmons and hive with "Can I be of assistance?"
this got soooooo long
A bright lightpierces her eyes. She steps back, twisting her head away from thelight source, only to gasp as white-hot agony lightnings up from herthigh. Her knee slips beneath her and she keels dangerously to oneside.
“Shh. Gentle.”The voice is warm and comfortingly familiar, as is the arm wrappedsuddenly across her back. It holds her steady, providing muchappreciated support while she tries to breathe through the pain.
“I’m sorry. Ididn’t mean-” That’s the man standing in front of her, the one she only barely glimpsed through the light. He’sshort, balding, round about the edges. All together he makes asomewhat humorous picture. Which she might find more humorous of thesight of him didn’t come as such a surprise.
She doesn’t knowhim, has no memory of ever seeing him before. Considering that he wasdirectly in front of her when she opened her eyes, that’s somewhatworrisome.
That first voicespeaks again, a soothing “It’s all right, Ned,” coupled with afaint rumble like laughter in the chest she’s currently leaningrather heavily against.
She looks up warilyand finds her worries both justified and relieved. His face is asfamiliar as his voice, but she can’t put a name to it. That doesn’tseem to matter though, as his smile sets loose butterflies in herstomach and the brush of his fingers over her ear warms her straightto her toes. She may not be able to remember him, but she knowshim.
“It’snot your head that hurts you, is it?” he asks. And, as if to answerhis own question, holds her in place while he moves slightly away tobetter see her leg.
Theattention brings the pain right back to the fore of her mind and allat once the weight of standing is too much.
“You’vedone well,” he says over her head while helping her to a nearbybed. “Send Anastasia as you go.”
“Sir,”Ned says and fairly scampers from the room.
Shehardly notices him, too busy easing into a more comfortable position.
Theother man proves to be of assistance yet again, taking a seat on thebed’s edge and propping her foot in his lap. She studies hisprofile while he examines her leg, using his hands to seek out thesource of her pain without a moment’s hesitation.
Still,she has no idea who he is. Her reactions to him have all beenpositive, but there’s a faint, niggling sense of disquiet in hergut as he continues his exploration of her body. It’s nothingsensual—he’s fairly clinical in his attitude—but with her ownlack of knowledge of him, it feels almost invasive.
“Youare safe with me, Jemma,” he says softly as though he can read herthoughts. His eyes remain on her leg, his hands roving slowly higher,ever closer to the source of her pain. “I promise you that.”
She wants to believe him. But no matter how she strains at her memory, she finds that beyond the moment that lightshone in her eyes her mind is a frustrating blank slate.
“Jemma?”she asks, the word feeling strange on her tongue. Or perhaps that’ssimply the act of speaking at all. Who knows how long she’s beensilent.
Helooks up at her, a mix of surprise and pity in his eyes. “Yes,”he says after long moments, “your name is Jemma.”
“Oh.I didn’t-”
“Know.Yes, that is an effect of what was done to you.”
Sheallows her expression to ask her question for her and it earns heranother smile.
“Alwaysso curious,” he says fondly. “That could never be stolen fromyou.” He seems almost inclined to let that stand and she waits himout, holding his gaze steadily until he sighs. “You were stolenfrom me. By SHIELD. Do you remember them?”
Sheconcentrates on the name and … she doesn’t rememberexactly. It’s more that she knows, in the same way she knows herABC’s, what SHIELD is.
Protectors.Defenders of the Earth.
Or… not. There are other things mixed in beneath the supposed purposeof the organization. Dark secrets, hidden evils.
“Ican see that you do,” he says heavily, allowing her the excuse topull away from such dire thoughts. “I do not know what has passedwhile you have been away from me. I am sorry for that, for all youmust have suffered while in SHIELD’s tender care.” The hand heslips into her hair is a sharp contrast to his dangerous tone. “ButSHIELD was recently driven from their main base and several of theirmore valuable assets were … frozen, so to speak. A bit ofmanipulation arresting physical functions for a brief period of time,likely to make the transport of these assets easier.”
“Sowe wouldn’t fight back,” she says, guessing at both the purposeof such a treatment and that he would only mention it if it had beendone to her.
“Yes.Precisely. Ned was able touse his abilities to release you, but I was warned your mind mighthave suffered.”
She—Jemma—allowsthat to sink in. She was a prisoner, held against her will andtreated as a literal object by those who took her. And then, worse, they tookher from not only this man who warms her with the slightest look but from herself.
Theblankness of her memory seems to morph into a dark maw, simmeringwith emotion. Above the comfort she finds in this man is somethingmore visceral, more real than anything else: she hatesSHIELD.
Thesoft brush of a woman’s fingers against her temple startles her outof her thoughts. Cool relief washes over her, running through thespace between her skull and skin. Immediately her shoulders relax.She hadn’t even realized how tense she was.
Shelooks up to find a pale haired woman standing over her. Brilliantblue eyes blink open after a moment and, without a moment’shesitation, the woman bends to rest her palm flat over Jemma’sthigh.
Againshe feels the rush of cool relief, deeper this time, and when theinitial shock recedes there’s no pain. She points her toes to testthe muscles and feels no strain whatsoever.
“Asyou can see,” the man says, “Anastasia is a gifted healer. Thankyou, Anastasia.”
It’san obvious dismissal but a syllable of protest erupts from Jemmabefore Anastasia can do more than turn away. As such, Jemma is ableto see the strain it puts on her to halt her movements and the wayshe favors her right leg.
Still,she smiles through her discomfort. “Can I be of furtherassistance?”
Jemmadoesn’t know how to ask what she wants but, when she looks to him,the man only regards her curiously.
Shetakes a steadying breath, drawing strength from the idle play of hisfingers over her ankle. “If my memory was damaged…”
“Ah,”he says. He smiles encouragingly at Anastasia, doing away with someof her sudden distress. “Anastasia’s abilities are limited. It ispossible she could undo the damage done if there is some physicalcause, however-”
Hepauses delicately and Jemma already knows what he’s going to say.“There’s a cost,” she says, thinking of Anastasia’s hurtingleg and the discomfort on her face before she turned to Jemma’smore prominent injury. She looks up at thewoman. “Ifyou can heal me, you might lose your own memory in return.”
Shenods in obvious relief. “I’m sorry, but yes.”
“It’snot your fault,” Jemma says. Because it isn’t. It’s the faultof the people who kidnapped her.
Anastasiaslips quietly away and once again it’s only Jemma and the man—hersupport, her rescuer.
“Iam sorry as well,” he says. “If there were any other way…”
Shesits up, the motion easy now that her pains are gone, and takes thehand wrapped around her ankle, pulling it to her lap. She can feelhis pulse pick up while she runs the pads of her thumbs over hisknuckles, examining his large hand. It’s as familiar as the rest ofhim—he’s an island of stability in her sea of confusion, atouchstone she doesn’t understand but one that is beneficial allthe same.
“Tellme your name,” she says softly.
Whenhe doesn’t immediately answer, she looks up. His eyes have turneddeep and fathomless, dark with thoughts she cannot hope to read.“They call me Hive,” he says and she knows by his tone that hemeans SHIELD. “But to you I am Alveus.”
“Alveus,”she says, smiling over the name. She likes it. She likes him. Andwith time, she hopes she will learn again why she loved him.
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anangelicday-mrwolf · 4 years ago
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Wolfsbane : Noblesse Fanfic (post-ending)
(previous chapter)
Chapter 17 – Strain of Hearts
“What the hell is going on?!”
“I... I have no idea...!”
Lunark and Rael kneeled by Yuhyung in sheer panic. The human’s body was violently contorting as their hearts ticked with increasing alarm. Rael in particular was beyond appalled, as he was told by the doctor himself that the latter does not have any health issue.
Without any time to figure out what the alpha and omega of this situation is, Rael snapped to his senses, much thanks to the details of the books on medical studies he landed upon at Frankenstein’s personal library.
“Turn his head to the side! We must not let him suffocate by his own secretion!”
“G-got it!”
Lunark at once extended her arms, and Rael ripped Yuhyung’s bag from ground to begin his frantic search.
‘Come on... Please, I must find something... Anything!’
His hands dug their way through a notepad, a case of writing utensils, a smartphone, and a light piece of garment, until they hit a semi-transparent medical plastic bag.
Rael tore the bag open, after which his eyes lost their focus for a split second. Not letting himself submit to a waste of time, however, Rael pulled out one of the objects inside the bag and rolled up Yuhyung’s sleeve. He then plunged the object into the man’s arm.
To their greatest relief, the quake bolting through Yuhyung’s body began to subside. Soon after his eyelids shuddered open.
“You alright there? Can you hear me?”
Yuhyung’s eyes droopily rolled around upon her call. He raised himself, with a shade of remembrance smearing upon his face.
“I... What...? I...”
“You had a seizure. And I mean ‘seizure’ seizure. It wasn’t a mere twitch.”
“Oh... I see.”
Chewing on his lower lip as he waited for his body to shake off its tremor, he apologetically nodded at Lunark out of blue.
“I am so sorry. This was far from my intention.”
“Umm... Okay, though I see no reason why you’d be sorry to me. Anyways, what happened back there? What would cause such...”
“I’d thought you told me prior to our departure that you suffer from no medical condition.”
Both listeners stopped short at their spots. Lunark just narrowly avoided biting off the edge of her tongue out of surprise. For Rael’s voice was by all means much sharper than necessary.
Rael flung the plastic bag he just surveyed towards them. Lunark substituted the bag’s owner to easily pluck it out of air; she spread open the closing edge of the bag to inspect what was waiting for her.
“What in the...?!”
The bag was fully charged with syringes, not the type used in common hospitals. They were in forms of miniscule capsules; removing the cap at the top and pressing them onto skin would immediately inject the contents. Obviously designed in favor of practicability and convenience, the syringes were ready to be used in dozens.
“Neither the shape nor number of these syringes tells me that they belong to someone with no medical condition. You must have deliberately prepared them because you knew something like this would happen.”
Not a single sound was produced from the researcher as Rael continued.
“Be honest – are you sure you have no medical condition or health issue whatsoever?”
Yuhyung’s head tilted downwards, his lower lip chomped by his teeth. The reddish tinge that marred his face was by no means faint – something a child would wear upon getting caught red-handed for lying.
“I don’t have a medical condition. Or a health issue. At least I have none officially archived on my employee dossier. This is something that no one else in KSA is aware of.”
So you’re saying in a way, you didn’t lie? I’m in no mood to play around with words here.
Rael would have pronounced his mind as viciously as possible – and he would have pulled off the feat without using any curse – if only Yuhyung’s face did not happen to be so dark.
“But you are right, sir. There’s something I didn’t tell you.”
The man turned his gaze towards Lunark, his shoulders slumped.
“Uh... I’m sorry, but what should I call you...?”
“Lunark. That’s my name.”
“Oh, okay. I’m sorry, Miss Lunark. That seizure was triggered the moment I saw you.”
“Me? What did I do? Did I make you uncomfortable in any way?”
Lunark retorted, after delving each and every one of her brain cells in a speed of light. And she could swear upon heaven and hell and the throne of her kind that never in her life has she ever seen this man before this day.
“Excuse me, but... Aren’t you the one who was once called the 5th Elder of the Union?”
Lunark gaped with a slight start. She had not heard that name for a long time; however, it did not take long until she nodded in approval.
“You wouldn’t remember me, but I remember you. The day when three elders of Union visited KSA headquarter, I saw you from afar as you and the other elders were headed to the director’s office. Back then I was about to exit the building, getting off work.”
It did not even take one-tenth of a second for Rael, now in the shoes of a spectator, to precisely pinpoint the time period Yuhyung was alluding to. It was when Zarga Siriana and Urokai Agvine revealed themselves in Korea.
“I was on my way to grab a drink with my colleagues that preceded me to the diner. But I left my phone in my lab – thanks to my forgetfulness – so I had to go back to retrieve it. And by the time I reached the diner we reserved a table at...”
Gulp.
The sound was caused not by constructions from his salivary glands; it was obviously a gulp trying to hold back tears.
“My colleagues were no more. No, the diner we settled on meeting was no more. No, the entire neighborhood that housed the diner was no more. As if it never existed in the first place. I came to learn much later that the said area was within the warzone temporarily designated during the combat that concerned the visiting elders.”
With a thundering convulsion, Lunark’s heart plummeted down the abyss of guilt. She remembered oh-so-clearly what happened that day. That day she met Frankenstein for the first time in her life. That day Zarga, Urokai, and the 8th Elder were lost. That day she officially corroborated Noblesse’s existence, supposedly permanently terminated.
So there was no way in hell she could forget that day.
Which is why she recalled without any trouble that she was the one who initiated the battle. She was the one who blew away a gigantic chunk of a city with a so-very-ghostly slap of hand in the air, just so she could drag out the unwelcoming hosts from their lairs.
“The shock I received was too severe for me to return to work. I was half-forced to take off work, and I could return after much time was spent. Nevertheless, what I witnessed that day got me scarred, which still breathes in me. From that day on, whenever I reminisce about the elders that visited KSA, my mind would suffer from detrimental anxiety. I was told much later that one of the elder was a werewolf, because of which I came to speculate that if I run into actual living werewolves for this project, something far from appreciated might happen. Which is why I got these sedative shots. But I swear – I did not see a seizure coming at all.”
Yuhyung did not meet Lunark in the eyes.
And Lunark could not meet him in the eyes. 
Lunark has been proud of her powers. She has always been proud of her endowment as a warrior. Alas, at the moment her power was nothing less than colossal shackles of remorse.
Apologize. No, confess your sins. Kneel before him and beg for his forgiveness.
Lunark could hear her heart howling at her, but her body was frozen, immobile.
She knew what she had to do. She knew that she had to.
But she was afraid to see what kind of eyes Yuhyung would pose upon her confession.
She was scared to check what kind of face the doctor would make at her.
She was frightened to behold what kind of emotions the human would exhibit as he accepted her apology, if he were to accept it.
Never in her life has she been terrified of a pure, non-modified human.
Lunark’s lips were transfixed, their purpose lost, and Yuhyung was the one to move first. Much to the noble and werewolf’s shock, he groveled before them, his gesture no different from a bow.
“I’m so sorry. I know that simply claiming I did not know I’ll have a seizure serves as no excuse. But I’d like to apologize – I did not mean to discomfort or offend either of you.”
Just look at him. Begging for forgiveness when he doesn’t need one. Admitting his fault when he never had one. And I’m doing neither of them.
Lunark forced her teeth against each other with her guilt gnawing at her soul much more ferociously; Rael stepped in to mediate.
“Understood. You don’t need to apologize to us. In fact, I should be the one to apologize. I should have known there would be a good reason behind your behavior, but I basically yelled at you to...”
“Oh – no, no, no, sir! Please! Please, you don’t have to say that to me, sir! If only I was nimbler with my own thoughts...”
Yuhyung, in utter fluster, buried his head in dirt as he stayed on his knees.
Based on the fact that Yuhyung has regained his stutter-against-his-will style of speech, Rael determined the distress of his heart has diminished and thus turned to Lunark.
“I shall entrust you with his welfare during his time at your kind’s land.”
“...I’ll do that.”
Yuhyung rummaged his bag to rearrange the contents, after which Lunark walked up to him. Unlike during their introduction, she was no longer in an outgoing mood.
“Should I carry you in my arms? Or on my back?”
“Uh... I’ll go with whichever choice you are more comfortable with.”
“On my back it is, then.”
Otherwise I’ll inevitably run into your face for the duration of our trip.
Ultimately having failed in mustering courage, Lunark let Yuhyung climb on her back to copycat koala once again. Not long after, she dashed across seawater towards their destination.
‘Coward. Fiend. A scum unworthy of the title of a warrior.’
Lunark blamed her craven heart, but on the other hand she steeled herself. She made herself vow that she shall bring herself on her knees before Yuhyung in apology, before the human returns to Lukedonia.
*****
Perhaps Lunark would have been less distraught if she realized what was going on inside Rael: she was not the only one in self-condemnation.
‘Coward.’
Rael knew that he did not have to fashion his voice so incisive when he demanded an explanation for his sedative shots. He knew why he did that, however: he was in fear.
He feared that if there is any problem that Yuhyung is currently afflicted with, their quest in taking him to werewolf domain and back to Lukedonia may be delayed. And for that he could be held responsible, as he is the Lukedonian ambassador for the QuadraNet project and caretaker for the human researcher in the meantime.
‘Shame on you, Rael Kertia. You were so concerned about bringing discredit upon your name that you rendered yourself blind to the priceless ally in this. Not to mention he agreed to take on this job when he is traumatized within.’
Rael’s feet drowned much deeper into the swamp of self-reproach.
‘I brought shame upon father and Razark. Again. Just because I was scared that the patriarchs will not recognize me.’
When Rael brought Yuhyung to Lukedonia safe and sound, the patriarchs of Kertia treated his accomplishment as nothing more than a childish self-satisfaction, as if it is something that a noble freshly graduated from coming-of-age rite can manage.
Instead of complaining that they must be mistreating him on purpose, Rael reasoned with himself.
‘I’ve been a walking, talking mayhem for the past centuries. So of course they wouldn’t trust me right away. Which means I must do better. I have to.’
Nowadays it has become automatic for him to chagrin at himself whenever he thought about patriarchs; nonetheless, he shoved his self-disappointment and anguish to the corner of his heart, with much struggle.
He thereby created an empty space in his heart, which was filled by a question that lit up his curiosity a tad late.
‘Funny – his bag felt more weightless than what my hands lastly felt.’
Rael mumbled in his head, staring down at his hand that had picked up and offered Yuhyung’s bag to its owner outside the Lord’s Hall.
(next chapter)
For this chapter, I wanted to show Lunark feeling guilty about her misdeeds that she had committed while she was part of the Union. I personally prefer depicting villains-turned-good-guys characters feeling guilty or regretful about what they did in the past, to show that now they are different. I’ve seen so many works of games/mangas/webtoons/animes/movies with such characters apparently not giving a damn about what they did in the past, which consequently affect the entire message, theme, or direction of the work they appear in.
And if you have felt uneasy at the very last sentences of this chapter, that was intentional - I always write each sentence in my fic with distinct purpose (though I cannot tell you what my last sentences for this chapter mean - not just yet lol). Hope you’d stay tuned for more to find out what they mean!
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nightmareonfilmstreet · 7 years ago
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Five So-Bad-They're-Good Horror Movies to Cure Your Post-Halloween Depression
New Post has been published on https://nofspodcast.com/five-bad-theyre-good-horror-movies-cure-post-halloween-depression/
Five So-Bad-They're-Good Horror Movies to Cure Your Post-Halloween Depression
It’s that time of year again, folks. Yes, that irrepressible sadness achieved by horror fans once Halloween comes to a close and all of the spooky fun has been had. Parties attended, candy collected, and now it’s time to go back to your boring, non-spooky existence.
Or is it?
Plenty of websites will give you lists of the best movies out there guaranteed to shock and horrify you. This list will not give you any of those. The following is a list of five horror films that might incite a different reaction in you. This list contains the best of the worst, the most unintentionally hilarious ‘horror’ films ever put to the silver screen. There’s always been something fascinating about movies that set out to scare and end up creating joy in their sheer ineptitude, and for some reason horror seems to be a genre full of these types of movies.
Bear in mind, however, that everyone’s taste is subjective, and what might be considered irredeemably awful to one moviegoer is god-tier cinema to another. None of the movies on this list are meant to offend anybody who likes them, and in fact, I encourage you to seek them out. Sometimes a good, old fashioned spooky laugh can be just what you need to cure the post-Halloween blues.
  5. The Wicker Man (2006)
A remake of what was once called “the Citizen Kane of horror films” is already a tough one to get right. No matter how much heart and soul you put into your final product, fans of the original are always going to come at you with their grievances with your remake. Despite this, sometimes you get a remake that not only seems to have been made by people who didn’t care about the original, but seems to have no regard for movies as a concept.
The Wicker Man is based on the 1976 film of the same name, which is most notable for having starred Christopher Lee, who often cited the part as his favorite of all of the roles he’d played. The original is beloved by critics and horror fans everywhere, coming in as number one on quite a few ‘best of’ horror lists. For those who love 70s British horror, its must-see.
It’s intriguing, then, that the remake has somewhat overshadowed the original due to its infamy. It’s hard to pin down exactly what makes this movie so enjoyably terrible. Maybe it’s the fact that Nicolas Cage seems to be constantly shouting; Maybe it’s the weird obsession that the movie seems to have with bees and honey; Maybe it’s the weird matriarchal cult that comes across just a tad bit sexist in hindsight. Whatever the reason, The Wicker Man remains a classic of so-bad-it’s-good horror.
Choice Quote: “How’d it get burned? HOW’D IT GET BURNED?”
  4. Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Most who know about this movie know about it due to it’s being spotlighted in 1993 on Mystery Science Theater 3000. However, even without the commentary from the crew of the satellite of love, this movie is still one kicker of a beautifully bad movie.
What do you get when you combine a barely-experienced crew and actors, endless scenes of characters aimlessly driving around, polygamist Satanic cult members, and random insert scenes that have little-to-nothing to do with the plot? Well, you get Manos: The Hands of Fate, a 1966 minimal-budget horror film about a family on a vacation who encounter a cult. That’s really about all there is to it. The editing is poor, the acting is wooden. At one point a random pair of teenagers making out in a car and being caught by a police officer interrupts the plot, as if to say to the audience, “We realize there’s not much else interesting happening here, so here’s some eye candy while you wait for something to actually happen.”
According to Wikipedia, the whole thing started when director, producer, and star Harold P. Warren made a bet with a friend that it would be easy to make a horror movie. From that, we got Manos. Oh, and there are a few random scenes where the wives of the movie’s villain The Master get into catfights, seemingly for no reason other than the director wanted to show some women fighting. Take that as you will.
Choice Quote: “Enough! Enough of this stupid bickering! The child must die! If you persist in this foolishness, your usefulness will come to an end!”
  3. Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)
Ed Wood is an interesting director for many reason. For more information about what an enigma that man was, check out Tim Burton’s 1994 biopic. But Wood’s 1959 science fiction-horror feature Plan 9 From Outer Space was cited by Seinfeld as one of the worst movies ever made, and continues to amuse to this day. In a deceptively simple plot, this early feature of the zombie genre (pre-Night of the Living Dead, even!) follows an alien invasion in which the alien’s main goal seems to be the reanimation of dead bodies. Thus, the deceased rise from their graves to pursue the living, referred to not as zombies, but as ‘ghouls’ by the characters.
One notable feature of the film is the fact that frequent collaborator and friend of Ed Wood, Bela Lugosi, has a part in the film. However, halfway through production, Lugosi tragically died, and in the meanwhile Wood brought in a stand-in to hold Lugosi’s place for the scenes with him that they hadn’t shot yet. This results in Lugosi’s stand-in (Tom Mason, by name) attempting to hide the fact that he was not, in fact, Bela Lugosi, by wearing a rather ridiculous-looking Dracula cape and holding it over half of his face. It’s as silly as it sounds.
In addition, the movie features some truly hilarious special effects, including a shot of a UFO flying over California that’s very obviously a paper plate, and a plot that seems to combine The Day the Earth Stood Still and White Zombie into one hilarious package.
Choice Quote: “And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.”
  2. Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
Birdemic is inspired by Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, but upon an initial viewing, the parallels fall flat when compared to the movie’s many technical faults. The atrocious CGI is overshadowed only by the wooden acting and the flat plot. The film follows a software salesman and his Victoria’s Secret model girlfriend who suddenly find their town under attack by killer birds that, get this… spit acid and explode into flames when they touch the ground.
If this doesn’t sound good enough for you, just look at those birds. No, your eyes aren’t deceiving you. They don’t remotely blend with the background at all. It looks more like they’ve been merely copy-pasted into the frame than animated whatsoever. One has to watch them in motion to truly appreciate how awkward they move. It’s very obvious that they’ve not been rendered properly, and instead of the fluid motion traditionally associated with computer-generated effects, the bird’s wings flap jerkily, and spin around in a strange 360 degree motion. The movie has been compared to good-bad predecessors such as Plan 9 because of it’s strange and awkward tone, and in fact has been called “the best worst film [of] 2010.”
Choice Quote: “And many have died from starvation, due to the difficulty of finding enough food, such as seals.”
  1. Troll 2 (1990)
You’ve seen the clip on YouTube. A young man in glasses stares, horrified, while a fly crawls leisurely across his face. “They’re eating her…” he intones, ominously, “and then they’re going to eat me. Oh my GOOOOOOOOD!” But Troll 2 is more than just one viral video of bad acting. Dig a little deeper, and you’ll find yourself what I believe to be the best bad horror movie there is.
There’s a lot to dissect here. First of all, the name Troll 2 is misleading. The movie is not actually related in any way to the 1986 fantasy film Troll. The movie was actually an unrelated Italian film called Goblins, but when it was released in America, the studio thought it better to attach the film to a previously released property. Most of the conflict on the set came from most of the crew being Italian and not having a very firm grasp of the English language, and that includes the screenwriter, whose clunky dialogue is a staple of this film’s notoriety. According to many of the American actors in this movie, they offered many times to try to make the dialogue sound more natural and a little less like it’d just gotten run through Google Translate, but the director, Claudio Fragasso, shot that one down.
This movie contains many things, but nowhere among those things are any trolls. Yes, you heard me correctly. The movie called Troll 2 contains no actual trolls. The creatures seen above are referred to as goblins throughout the whole thing. The town they live in is even called Nilbog. (No prizes to those among you who can tell in two seconds what ‘Nilbog’ spells backwards. Seems these goblins learned their disguise tactics from Son of Dracula.)
And that doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of this mess of a film, which also contains an erotic corn on the cob-eating scene. Yes, really. It must be seen to be believed.
  And that concludes the list! Hopefully those of you out there who like a more low-key Halloween got to enjoy some classics of the horror genre, but as a connoisseur of cult cinema, I felt as though it was necessary to spotlight some more unconventional Halloween favorites. So pop one or more of these into your DVD slot or look them up on Netflix, and be prepared to laugh. You might even forget that it’s November.
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earpanel · 5 years ago
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MEDIABRIEF DEEP DIVE with Shivangini Jajoria, National Head Operations - Ishq FM
Shivangini Jajoria is National Head Operations, Ishq FM. And has one of the shortest intros on LinkedIN we’ve seen for a professional as experienced as she is, with around 19 years of workex.  She manages a complex structure at Ishq FM which, she believes, is a network that’s ‘redefining radio’. Shivangini has ‘loved being an entrepreneur - creating and building a new-age design and digital marketing company, Lean Hippo Marketers.’ She’s ‘loved marketing and selling the hottest media brand - Radio Mirchi.’ Shivangini has also enjoyed promoting  telecommunications at Airtel and Escotel, as also selling and marketing engine oils with Caltex (Chevron Texaco). So she brings to her work table, excellent experience across a diverse set of companies and initiatives, and a strongly entrepreneurial bent of mind, which stands her in great stead as she sits at the centre of that most demanding  and satisfying area of keeping all operations of a radio network up and running with oiled-smooth ease. Remember too, that this is a lady who recalls how she started her career as an Assistant Brand Manager with Caltex Oil India Pvt. Ltd., with the words, “When you start your career selling engine oils in transport nagars, amongst truck drivers and automobile mechanics in the remotest of areas, you know you have started it right!” Shivangini also describes herself as ‘Creative Thinker’, and ‘an occasional artist who also loves to doodle, sketch, paint and pen down her thoughts’. Well, we invited Shivangini to pen down her thoughts on a wide range of questions, and we’ve up with this interesting DEEP DIVE. Shivangini, you head operations across 104.8 FM, which you joined in 2016. The only people who get their slice of fame at a Radio Station or network are the RJs, who would never be able to do any good a job without the support of operations. I mean -- Radio, more than any other medium, needs strong operations support for the entire backend production, packaging, technology and other infra that keep a station live and ticking, day after day… When you have a quality product that becomes the talk of the town as soon as it is launched, and also possesses a host of talented jocks to hold the product together, one does not give oneself the chance to let anything come in between the radio and its listeners. That is the theory I imbibe. Quick aside, because I’ve seen this happen at many RJ consoles when they are on-air: Does Ishq FM also help fast-talking RJs blabber on at high speed without fumbling because they have the pre-recording facilities to edit out, re-record, and just play the recordings as if they were speaking live on the mic? Our jocks are live on the station; they put in a lot of work day in and day out to manage the console, the voice, the content,  and deliver live links in a flawless manner. We know the important jobs RJs, Creative heads, CEOs and COOs who are defacto CEOs do. As Head of Operations at 104.8 Ishq, what does your job involve? I am an enabler. My role is to ensure that a great product is created and is marketed well, so that the right listener / audience consumes the product. I ensure the engineering team is up-to-date on the latest trends and innovations in the industry so that when the product is heard, the sound is extremely pleasing to the ears. I try my best to keep the team members happy and motivated. Keeping the financials in control and the agreements legally appropriate is also an important part of my role. ENIL (Entertainment Network India Limited) is our Advertising Sales partner. They sell the product that we create. This requires motivating / inspiring my Ishq FM team to create product stories that sell in the market and provide the ENIL team with enough fodder to be able to sell.
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In an FM Radio station’s hierarchy, what are the roles of people who report in to the Operations head? I am a part of a non-hierarchical organization. Most functions work with me. Since most of the team is young, I try and use my experience to guide them and keep them focused on achieving what we are here to achieve. It is a team of various functions. Operations is a tough ask in a Radio network, especially if attrition at the network is high. How long do youngsters remain with  the network; what’s the attrition like? As far as attrition in general is concerned, it is not easy to retain youngsters. It isn’t their fault as the current market scenario is such. The pace of things is really fast and the demands of the job on them could be felt as pressure. However, the beauty lies in how one breaks down this pressure in order to make achievable for them the desired goals, as well as ensure that their creativity and productivity do not get hampered in the process. What are the worst operations disasters that can strike a radio station? I’m talking about things like power outages, silence on the air and the reasons for it; prolonged rains and monsoon flooding in, say, a city like Mumbai so very low staff at work, technical problems… Exactly the ones that you have mentioned! It gives me nightmares to even imagine such a state and it does happen in many instances. Sometimes equipment gets the better of us, and nature can be merciless. I have faced such a situation here. The city saw one of its worst storms, and in a split second, there was nothing to be heard on the station. Emergency measures were taken immediately and the back-up arrangements ensured that the audio was back on. Then the struggle was to find a permanent solution so that the network is protected in the best way possible should such situations arise again. While the RJ reaches everyone on-air, it is the operations team at a Radio Network that is the real brand ambassador with the personal touch for people and institutions it contacts for its day to day work. How do you ensure your people are well prepared for, and conscious of, the importance of their role with the public? It depends on both -- the process of hiring, and once hired, the training that the team goes through. The team goes through a rigorous training program; one that makes them thorough with the product, the brand positioning, and the brand representation on air and off-air. So far we have had no issues whatsoever with the people in the team – both on- and off-air. Overall, what are the challenges to maintain the credibility for the station? Keeping true to the product promise.  At Ishq, we have maintained less ads and more music – the very promise that we made to the listener in order to keep them engaged and happy! Let’s talk about Marketing. You handled the marketing of the existing Phase 1 and the launch of Phase 2 stations of the region with Radio Mirchi. When was that, and what was the experience like? That was in the beginning of October 2006. Based out of Delhi, I handled the marketing of Mirchi stations in the North and the East. This included the launch of many new stations of Phase 2 as well. Mirchi was the hottest brand then and being a part of it was exciting and challenging at the same time. The aim was to continue to keep the brand abuzz with fresh entertainment for each city. Radio being a hyper local product, you could not simply replicate marketing ideas. One was always thinking on one's feet in order to remain connected to the peculiar listener of a particular city. To make sure this happened, I would travel to all my cities quite often to understand the dynamics of each city. It was amazing to be doing this. How have things, in the way you market a Radio network, changed? A lot! From a market once comprising 4 to 5 players to the much larger market now, the game has changed. In today’s scenario, the key is find your niche and still not be there for only a select listener base. That is exactly what we have tried to achieve at 104.8 Ishq, and we have achieved it to a large extent.
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Ishq is the only station that is based on emotion and not on the era of music. It is India’s one and only Romantic Music Station, and the content on the station appeals to the upwardly mobile audience and makes for a great listening experience. Another very important change is the importance of being a multi-media brand. Digital is huge today, and Ishq has created some fabulous work that is there to be consumed on the internet. From Calling Karan with Karan Johar to What Women Want with Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ishq has established that it is a team that creates great content – both on its primary medium as well as on Digital. Also, how has content changed over the years? 10 years ago, content on Radio was super hyper-local. Traffic updates were an essential part of radio programming. Listeners used to call in to share alternative routes in case of traffic jams. Today, you have Google Maps (smiles) Life is on the phone, on social media, on YouTube, on apps. So what do we do? We make Radio and its content available on the phone. Ishq and its jocks are on social media, they are on YouTube and soon you will be able to listen to Ishq on your phone – whether you have radio or not! Today, the equipment on which Radio can be accessed is not limited to the two-in-ones or the car stereo. We, as a radio station, create great content, and we expose it across all media platforms.
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Let’s switch to Industry matters now.  What are the problems with Radio that have remained even today, since the early days? While Radio, as a medium, has stood the test of time by constantly evolving and adapting itself, there exist certain issues that have not been taken care of. Radio’s potential is stunted due to the fact that government regulations do not allow the freeing up of available spectrum. The curbs on the type of content broadcast on Radio is another disadvantage that radio suffers from, unlike the medium of television. In my opinion, News and Sports should be opened to Radio as well. What kind of synergies do you see between Radio and Music in India? Has the rapport and cooperation between them ever been as good as it can, or should, be? Why do you think that is the case? Radio and Music go hand in hand. The variety of Music that Radio gives to you, along with interesting content through RJs and sparklers, and NATIONAL and local useful information through ads, makes it a powerful medium. It has been one of the fastest pipelines through which music reaches the listener, and the trivia that jocks share on songs and movies… that makes it even more enjoyable. Music labels work very closely with the Radio industry. Radio becomes even more important when the music is targeted to particular geographies. In such cases, Radio is the best bet for the Music industry!  So even though Radio and Music are mutually complementary, they seem to have been at loggerheads for ever on issues like royalties stemming from the Copyright Act. Why don’t both sub-sectors get together to resolve the issue once and for all? Has that been attempted? Is that at all possible? The Copyright Board order is not followed by every music company. And since the Copyright Board is not in place, this causes a huge issue in the royalties to be shelled out to music labels. This leads to arm twisting by a few labels and that is not a good situation. We need a uniform rate under the statutory license scheme. The industry needs to be on the same page to address and solve it together. There are historical issues with measurement of Radio. But nobody seems to be doing much about it. What is the scenario there – what is your understanding of the problems in measurement? The diary method used by RAM is flawed in many ways, and this has been highlighted by various industry players time and again. What we need is a transparent system of measurement and a strong body like BARC India for Radio, though that might be expensive given the much smaller size of Radio compared to Television. The measurement must be basis Day-After-Recall, as that is how the medium (of Radio) works.
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For how long will radio stations and networks keep selling themselves purely on perception in the largest parts of India? Aren’t marketing rupees being wasted in the absence of trustworthy, accurate measurement? We definitely need an appropriate measurement system that is followed by the industry as a whole, and which helps advertisers take better-informed decisions. Having said that, marketing is not a waste of money. Ishq has built itself on the strength of its product and its innovative marketing, and we take absolute pride in it. There is a lot of anecdotal evidence that you get from your listeners, the planners and the clients. There is no point in creating a great product and not letting the world know about it. How do you manage what must be extremely challenging scenarios emanating from super-celebs-driven shows? See, I’m sure the Karan Johar show, which is fabulously created, styled, packaged by the network and brilliantly delivered by Karan himself, must be an operations nightmare! When a superstar like Karan Johar -- who, by the way, to my mind, is at his best on his show with your network -- unfortunately cannot give you enough time and wants you to complete the entire recording in just a few hours across maybe a couple of days, the preparations your teams have to make at the ground level, with real callers and situations, all discussed with creative heads internally and prepped and timed to call, record, interact and hopefully remain supported by the mobile-broadband-heat-light-power infrastructure… that has to be a crazy job!  How do you manage something like this? Any heartbreak- or thank-God moments? Shows with celebs are not easy to manage for all the reasons rightly you’ve shared. This is where people's strength comes in to play. Ishq has a fantastic team that is driven to deliver the very best. Other stations have done shows with smaller celebs, but the level of celebs on Ishq – Karan Johar, Kareena Kapoor Khan – is beyond comparison. To deliver the quality of the show that we have delivered is all kudos to the awesome team at Ishq. Sleepless nights, detailing to the T, handling the celebs within the limited number of hours, the sets, the recordings… everything is planned impeccably. Issues still arise, but the beauty is in taking the difficulties as they come and to move on and deliver a great show. And yes, let me re-iterate to you that you know of the show also because of the marketing monies that we've we spent on it. Who are your favourite presenters on Radio? I am an old-timer so my Radio days go way back to the time of BQC (Bournvita Quiz Contest) with Derek O'Brien… used to be my favourite show. In the private FM space, my all–time favourite has been Sarthak of Battle of the Sexes fame, who is fortunately now with Ishq! Naved, Sayema, Anant-Saurabh were my other favourites. Read the full article
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draceempressa · 8 years ago
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I’ve had enough of the absurd amount of hate for Takumi, and I need to rant it off back his haters. 
As far as I see in the fandom, people who hates Takumi is either 
1: people who are whining about how OP he is in Conquest and Heroes, and 
2: people who hates how he is still a jerk to Corrin and Azura. 
Both are clearly people who doesn’t understand him as a character, and the former are probably doesn’t want to care at all. So instead of explaining his character, I’ll just say  to those childish whiners that, it’s just a game. There is winning and there is losing, as simple as that. You will lose sometimes. Take some time off the game, relax, wash your face, massage your eyes, stretch your body, calm down, and replay the game when you already calmed down. Besides,  with the Hero Merit feature added soon, unless you’re that desperate for feathers, you wouldn’t need to mess with the Arena.  Don’t say people who didn’t whine Takumi is OP is definitely is his fangirl/fanboy. No. There are mature people who is not his fan, also played CQ and Heroes Arena  yet they are not obnoxious people who rubs it on his fans’ face that they hate him. Don’t be an immature and obnoxious person. If you hate something, keep it to yourself. That’s called respect. And before you say I’m a hypocrite, how am I supposed to respect people who didn’t respect others? 
As for people who hates him for the second reason, here is the thing. 
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“he’s very kind to people he trusts”. 
“To people he trusts” . 
It goes to this question. “Is Corrin and Azura is someone he can trust?” Someone in his personal circle? The answer is clearly no. 
“He was raised with Azura! Why can’t he trust her?” 
In all fairness, Azura is very secretive , and it’s not like she opened to him, or to anyone in Hoshido either. We all know what have happened in Nohr, that in her support with Arthur she was also a victim of the concubine war, and possibly Arete died telling her everything about Valla, reason why she is traumatized to talk about the truth, or being honest in general. This CD drama (Track 2)  explained it all.
And after that line, he runs sniffling. Hating Azura’s secretiveness. He is asking back. “Why did you expect me to accept you as a family when you didn’t accept us? Why must I tell you what happened-anything it is, but you never tell me what actually happened or what did you actually know? ” Should Azura be a bit open to him or anyone in Hoshido-at least in personal level, not actually talk about Valla, he didn’t expect that of her either- he would opened back.   He perceives her secretiveness as a proof that she didn’t love Hoshido and wants to return to Nohr. He is waiting for Azura to proof her love is in Hoshido, yet she did nothing to try to proof she didn’t want to return to Nohr. So he thinks, “Oh, she is a spy after all!” or “You didn’t love me ! Why must I love you?” which is Azura did nothing to proof those thoughts are wrong. 
And about Takumi’s thoughts to Corrin. Out-universe, we all know why people are all over Corrin-protagonist power crap. But in-universe, Takumi did not understand why everyone are all over Corrin. His parents and older siblings are all over Corrin and he asked in his tiny heart. “Why my family didn’t care about me? Why they only care about Corrin?”  and he thought, if he is more useful, his family would care more to him. We know Sumeragi died for Corrin, so does Mikoto later, Hinoka specifically trained herself to be a warrior to save Corrin, and Ryoma too keep talking about Corrin. So in his eyes, Corrin is someone who have stole Takumi’s family from him. 
What blame Takumi meme? if anything everything is Corrin’s fault. Literally Corrin is the reason why Takumi’s life is a mess, that he was raised without remembering his father and his older siblings neglected him,  Corrin him/herself want it or not. 
And there is Conquest path. He is still giving Corrin chance to return, like his siblings. What sets him different is just he didn’t say it aloud until chapter 23. There he snaps. Why must Corrin must betray his expectation every single chance? And mind you, WHAT is Hoshido didn’t give to Corrin? Hospitality, love, respect, divine weapon, even sacrifices. All they care they give to Corrin, that Takumi himself never received that much, yet Corrin still say no to them. In Takumi’s eyes, Corrin is an ungrateful bastard/bitch who come just to leech of Hoshido. 
He also makes it clear with the line “We could be family” that as genuine his envy and hate is, there is genuine sibling love too. He is hurt that Corrin always betray his expectation every single chance like Azura. And he also hates himself for giving more chances and never stopped loving them. As he hates them, doesn’t mean he never loved them, neither ever he stopped feeling that way. And that unrequited sibling love hurts him. 
As much he didn’t trust neither Azura or Corrin,  there is a speck of sibling love he had for them, that probably Mikoto keep telling him to love them as they are family, but his brain says, let them prove they think they are Hoshidan or not before showing affection. And well, in CQ, they proof they certainly didn’t think that way, and boy does he snaps. in BR and RV he does open up, because Corrin did prove s/he is trustworthy CQ? Lol.  Even in BR he does open up but slowly, but, hey, that is very realistic for him to not trust someone from the opposing country immediately, not to mention, said person is the one who ruined your life. 
This contrasts his immediate trusts to Kiran in Heroes. Just a reminder, Takumi is not insensitive. He can see, that in a world where many Heroes gather, Kiran is not a fighter whatsoever, comes from a world that greatly differs from all the Heroes’. Corrin is the reason his life is a mess and come from the opposing country that killed his father, he have all the reason to be a jerk and suspicious to Corrin. Kiran is someone from a world where it is easier to count people who can actually fight, and doesn’t have own combat capability, thus he have no reason to be a jerk and suspicious of Kiran. Again, in Heroes, this is not protagonist power as Saizo and Jakob shows.
I also sometimes got this line from older fans. 
“Takumi is just a rip-off of Innes, so why do people love him ? “ 
Are you serious for saying that ? Sure, Takumi have a silver hair and is an archer like Innes, but that’s it.  Innes is calm , Takumi is a bomb of emotion that can snap anytime. Yes, Takumi is based off someone from Sacred Stones, but not Innes. I mean, inferiority complex? Went mad from grief from losing parent? Initially was a shy child? Actually wants friends despite on how socially awkward they are? Demonic possession? Different characterization depending of paths? Give up swordplay because of being curbstomped in a friendly match/sparring? Loved and hated the protagonist in the same time? Actually lend a hand to defeat themselves for the protagonist ?  As far I can remember, those are NOT Innes’ trait. Those are Lyon’s . Seriously, if you just compare Takumi to Innes instead of Lyon, you didn’t understand Takumi’s character. Takumi is like Innes only on the outside. Inside, he was more like Lyon. 
Innes is an ass to... literally everyone, not just Ephraim. He is an ass even to HIS OWN FAMILY-he boss his own father around and gives an insult to his own sister, and as Tana herself says “if you can say something like that to your own sister, you have problem”. Takumi? He really loves his family. You see how he sticks with Sakura no matter which route you pick, and even on Kiragi’s paralogue, he;s with her. And for his support with Ryoma and Hinoka... Blame Treehouse. He actually is way cuter in the Japanese version and the localization makes him more whiny than innocent for no reason. 
Again, I am posting this not to say “hey you must like Takumi” but just to explain he is NOT just a cheap tsundere or whatsoever you think of him. Again, if you still don’t like him, please, keep it to yourself.  Don’t be an immature and obnoxious person. If you hate something, keep it to yourself. That’s called respect. And before you say I’m a hypocrite, how am I supposed to respect people who didn’t respect others?
In case you are interested with the CD Drama, they are here and here. 
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hellomissmabel · 8 years ago
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White Lie (For a moment, I was lost part 4)
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MASTERLIST
Based on one of my favourite albums “For a moment, I was lost” by Amber Run.
Pairing: Tony Stark x reader, Howard Stark x OC!Julia
Summary: Tony seeks out your soothing presence before all hell breaks loose.
Word count: 1.793 (cut the previous part in two because I’m wordy)
Warnings: GUYS I AM SO SORRY (Also, to the person that called me “an average writer that doesn’t know how to pack a punch”, how’s this for angst my bitch)
A/N: I wanted to show you a side to Tony you don’t get to see very often. Sure, it is suggested, hinted towards, implied... but never explicitly shown. I dug into my own insecurities for Tony’s portrayal.
Disclaimer: I found these pics on Google, all credit goes to the respectable owners. I just put them together as cover art.
Part 1: Dark Bloom
Part 2: Spark
Part 3: Wastelands
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I was sixteen years old When the silence took hold And it never went again
Patching Tony up is something you still haven’t quite gotten used to, especially when he’s all battered and bruised and the blood sticks to a creative variety of places. Unlike your grandmother, you’re not a nurse but a writer, you fight your wars with pen and paper and not bandages and gauze. In your entire life you’ve never seen this many injuries before, only familiar with your archetypal papercut, so you’re doing the very best you can to keep a straight face and remain professional about it. Yet you absolutely hate it, to see the man you love so dearly all marked up by the wrong kind of stains.
Finally finishing up on his last stitches whilst musing along to one of Tony’s favourite Black Sabbath songs, his perplexed eyes follow your every move. He has been awfully quiet ever since he strolled into his lab where you were waiting for him and Tony hasn’t said a single word other than the occasional grunt when the disinfectant stings a little more than anticipated. Every muscle is sore and every bone in his body is refusing to cooperate, his entire body falling limp and compliant to your gentle touch.
Still feel it sometimes When the weather’s unkind And my lover’s lips are thin
Tony has missed having someone to take care of him. He doesn’t like to admit it to anyone, because he’s supposed to be a strong man, but the sweetness of your smile and the softness of your eyes reminds him what it feels like to be loved in return. Knowing he should probably explain to you what happened and where he got all these cuts from, he chooses to revel in your unwavering attention a tad longer. He needs the reassurance too badly.
“All done,” you hum contentedly, putting away all your utensils and throwing the dirty leftovers in the garbage bin. “You are as good as new, my love.”
Gently cradling his face in the palm of your hands, you inspect the tiny scratches superficially tainting his iron resolve. The light in his otherwise lively eyes has been diminished to a faint and dull glow. The man sitting in front of you is not the smartass the other Avengers know, neither the invincible Tony Stark the public likes to depict him as. There’s a certain helplessness to his actions, to the way his eyes shy away from yours in a silent refusal to burden you with his inner struggles.
“You don’t need to say anything if you’re not comfortable with talking about it. I just want you to know I won’t judge. Ever,” you assure with a hearty smile and an encouraging tone.
But then I get out Tell myself the white lie That my faith would make everything alright
Tony allows your voice to tick off all the boxes in his busy mind in a feeble attempt to level out his breathing. You have become quite adept at spotting the signs of another panic attack and how it seeps through the cracks, dislocates his inner hinges and tinging everything he has come to know about himself. To love Tony Stark is to love Iron Man and that much is true. But you’ve also learnt the hard way that to love Tony Stark is to love an imperfect individual with faults and flaws and an insurmountable amount of poetry disguised by sassy and snarky remarks.
“I’m not going anywhere. Now let’s see what I can do about these booboos,” you whisper adoringly, gesturing towards the red grazes across his cheeks and forehead.
Slowly but surely, your lips lovingly peck each and every one of the wounds spoiling his handsome face. Tony closes his eyes when the tender caress of your lips reaches that sweet spot underneath his ear. Wordlessly, he holds out his arm and as you take his hand, he pulls you onto his lap, cringing at a sudden jolt of pain when you settle with his arms wrapped around your waist.
“Thank you,” he mumbles into your hair, inhaling the scent of fresh coconut. He might absolutely hate coconuts himself but he is completely smitten with your shampoo, mingling effortlessly with the natural, fruity odour of your skin and creating an entirely new perfume he will absolutely never tire of.
That I walk on water Like when I was younger
As he buries his face deeper into the crook of your neck, you lean with your back into his chest and rest like this for a couple, long minutes. Time comes to a standstill whenever you’re around him, the fast-paced lifestyle you had initially associated with Tony Stark nothing compared to the affinity he gifts you with upon his return. Nevertheless, it’s entirely against your better judgement. You’re off the deep end, head of heels in love even though you know he’s bad news.
He’s bad news because all of this is too good to be true.
I’m a failure, I’m a disaster And I don’t wanna be anything else I’m a loner, I’m a loser And I don’t wanna be anything else
“F.R.I.D.A.Y., please let me in.”
It happened entirely by accident, you didn’t mean for Tony to find out about the letters the way he did. You thought he would give you some time to explain yet he didn’t and instead of asking you to give him some space, trying to get his head back together, he kicked you out straightaway and had F.R.I.D.A.Y. restrict your access to your shared floor at Stark Tower.
“I’m sorry, miss Y/N, but mister Stark has withdrawn your access and has asked me to inform you that all of your belongings have already been moved to your old apartment,” the A.I.’s mechanical yet kind voice lets you know.
Ever since you moved in with Tony about a month ago, you’ve been keeping Julia’s box of memories underneath your bed, hoping that one day Tony will take a quick peek underneath the frame and find the box there waiting for him. That way you could break the news to him slowly and gently, if it wasn’t for fate pulling a trick on you.
“He has also instructed me to tell you that as of today, you are no longer welcome at Stark Tower.” The somewhat sympathetic ring to F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s message feels like a cold shower.
Yeah, I’ll do what I’m told Let the future unfold As I’m thrown down the rabbit hole
You spent the night crashing at Bucky’s place. Even though you would’ve been more than happy to sleep on his couch, Bucky offered you could take the bed instead, if only for your bad back. You made sure he couldn’t hear you when you cried yourself to sleep, fairly sure his super soldier hearing picked up on it anyway.
Your voice breaks as the realisation sinks in like a boulder rolling off a steep cliff. “Where is he, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”
The reply does not come unexpected. “Mister Stark is currently in his lab.”
Of course he is. With your head held high and jaw clenched as you round the corner, your eyes fall upon the glass cube Tony calls his lab, his ultimate shelter. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., please tell mister Stark I demand him to let me in. He owes me this courtesy just as much as I owe him a clarification. Make sure you tell him just like that.”
Through the glass walls you can see how Tony’s head shoots up as FRIDAY makes the announcement. He does, however, not engage in any eye contact and simply mumbles something by means of a curt reply. In all your hopelessness, you arch your ears as to try and listen through these damn soundproof walls, the effort entirely in vain.
But then I get out Tell myself the white lie That my faith would make everything alright
“Miss Y/N,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. speaks again, “Mister Stark is adamant that I remind you that your presence will not, in any case whatsoever, make him change his mind. You have, and these are his exact words, royally fucked up all your second chances.”
It’s the final straw, Tony’s unyielding rejection. You cannot take it anymore and crumble onto the tiled floor, your knees bruising instantly upon impact as your body grows as lifeless as a rag doll. Your wailing is heard all the way down the hall where Bucky and Steve are having a silent conversation, discussing what to do about your current predicament.
Bucky rushes over to you and encases you in his arms, lifting you into a loving embrace. As you cry into his chest, you whimper everything you wish you could say to Tony. “I was going to tell him, I really was. But something always came up and I didn’t think I could postpone it this long. I didn’t mean to.”
“I know, Y/N, and he’ll see that eventually. Tony’s stubborn, always has been. But he’ll come around. Now let me take care of you first,” Bucky shushes softly, rocking you back and forth. “Let me take you home.”
“No, Bucky,” you sob quietly, “I am not going anywhere. My home is here.”
I’m a failure, I’m a disaster And I don’t wanna be anything else I’m a loner, I’m a loser And I don’t wanna be anything else
“Listen to Bucky, Y/N.” Tony’s cold tenor rips you away from your cries and as his hard glare falls upon your crumpled frame, hiding away in Bucky’s arms, you finally realise what it feels like to make a sacrifice.
You thought you’d made sacrifices before, when you gave up on your previous relationship so you could pursue the job of your dreams. Or when you walked away from your overly religious family so you could have a decent education without them influencing every part of your life. Even so, those weren’t really sacrifices at all, they were tough and incredibly difficult choices but they were your choices nonetheless.
But to give up on Tony’s love is a sacrifice you’re not willing to make.
Tony walks straight past the two of you, avoiding your trembling frame like you’re infested with the plague. Bucky tries to talk some sense into you and even though it’s of no use, you do not protest when he carries you towards the elevator where Steve’s holding the door for you, wearing his heart on his sleeve when he whispers something inaudible to your ears and Bucky nods, an equally grave expression coating his sharp features.
Somehow they believe you will never set foot into Stark Tower ever again.
Do you feel the same to me? Do you feel the same to me?
Part 5: Are you home?
Tagging: the ever-wonderful @beccaanne814-blog @avengerofyourheart @a-little-hell-to-raise @unpredictable-firecracker @marvelingatthewonder  @mrshopkirk @hardcorehippos @iiharu-kunii @knittingknerdy @winterwolf57 @winterboobaer @shamvictoria11 @thedragonblood @hymnofthevalkyries @feelmyroarrrr @justareader @ourpeachskies @austinamelio @howlingbarnes @4theluvofall  @themcuhasruinedme @theoneandonlysaucymo @hymnofthevalkyries @amrita31199 @kiwi71281 @jaegers-and-kaijus @katbird787 @spaceprincessofmanygalaxies @marvel-lucy
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Where can I find health insurance as an 18 year old and I’m peregnant?
"Where can I find health insurance as an 18 year old and I'm peregnant?
I'm an 18 year old, I live in Florida, I have a job as a CNA, I'm pregnant and married. I was woundering where can I go to get affordable health insurance and if it's likely that I'll get coverage. I would also like to know an average of what it would cost.
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
RELATED QUESTIONS: 
My insurance rates went up for buying a prius?
E-surance added 300 dollars to my 6 month term for buying a Prius. They said it is a new car, and that they cant find the safety ratings. Is this just non sense, and is their another insurance company that wont penalize me for buying a safer, fuel efficent car?""
Insurance premium increase?
I was involved in a fender bender where no party admitted fault. Other persons insurance company went to arbitration against my insurance company to recover their loss. Arbitration Panel decided in our favor i.e. I am not at fault hence need not pay the damages. Total loss amount listed by other party was $800. My car did not have any damage worth repairing. (Also, I am lazy and passive enough to not pursue too hard for a minor dent.) After arbitration settlement other person filed a lawsuit against me in small claims court. I was pretty sure that a judge cant do anything after arbitration. To my surprise judge assessed that out of $800 - $250 was the deductible paid by other person. Prior Arbitration did not include that amount hence he can adjudicate on this $250. He adjudicated against me for $250 + legal fee. Judge also told me that I need not worry about this money as my insurance will pay for it. (Most ridiculous judge and judgment I have ever seen, but thats a separate matter) I called up my insurance company. They are willing to pay this amount. My question is  will making them pay increase my insurance premium. I have a pretty clean record with no at-fault accidents. I pay about $1000 per year for two cars in WA state. Insurance company is: Farmers""
Will auto insurance provider raise my premium rates for filing a claim even if the incident is not my fault?
I just noticed some deep scrapes/scratches on left corner of rear bumper on my Prius after returning from late-night shopping. I was thinking about filing a claim on basis of vandalism, but I heard providers tend to raise rates for filing a claim whether it's my fault or not. I'm just wondering if it'll cost me less in the long run to go for it or just find and go to an auto paint shop directly?""
How much is the Tax penalty for not having insurance?
I lost my insurance because I didn't have enough hours. I missed open enrollment last fall and not eligible again until October 31. I heard Obama care is expensive. I also have two jobs and make around 30,000 gross pay with both jobs combined. Is the 100 a monthly penalty or a yearly penalty. Is their anyway to get around open enrollment. Maybe my Union can help?""
How much does teen car insurance cost?
I'm 16, and I'm about to get my drivers license. My dad is insured through the aarp people because its cheaper for him. he called them to ask how much it would cost to put me on his insurance, and they said 120 dollars a month. I thought this seemed a little unreasonable, because i'm just going to drive a three thousand dollar car like twice a week. How much do you/ your parents pay for car insurance for young drivers? I have good grades. can that get me a discount?""
Car insurance question?
if you let someone else drive your car , and they get in an accident , what happens? does their insurance still cover them? are you covered to fix your car? i have my friend (who has had his license way longer than i have , and who i feel is a better driver than me anyways) drive my car sometimes when we go out together is this a bad idea, and why?""
What is the cost for home insurance based on?
I am thinking of buying properties in other states to use as rental income. The properties are cheap so i can afford to pay cash the issue how ever is that the rent is also cheap in Update : Yes i know being a distant landlord is difficult so if it makes economic
""Worried about getting insurance for a car, when i have bad credit!?""
Is it right that in the UK, some insurance providers can refuse to give you insurance if you have a bad credit rating?? I'm panicing that i wont be able to get insurance when i pass my test!!""
How much motorcycle insurance
I'm 16 and i live in new york but i don't know how much insurance is
350z insurance cost tx 16year old?
how much is insurance for a 2006 350z for a 16 year old first car in texas?
Why are drivers often required to carry car insurance even if their cars aren't worth much?
I want to know why a driver has to have car insurance if the car isn't worth much. You know like a old car from way back in the day?
What car insurance do u have and how much do u pay?
my mom and my brother have progressive i think i might be in there too but the bill came over $2,000....we don't even make close to that much a month""
Should I Get a Motorcycle or Moped?
Me and my parents are having an argument about what i should get. There is a motorcycle that i can buy for 750 dollars and it is a 93 Honda Shadow or i can get a new moped. The only thing that i need for the motorcycle is a new batter and i know this is true b/c i took it to a trusted shop and have them inspect and clean everything out (the owner payed for that) and it came back clean. I think that the motorcycle would be the better buy but my parents say that a moped would b/c i wouldnt have to pay insurance (the state i live in doesnt require insurance for mopeds). I was just wondering if the cost for a moped would be more upfront than the motorcycle would be and if it would be a better buy. And yes i do have a motorcycle license.
Do I need to pay insurance on a SORN car?
Hi if i declare my car SORN (UK) do i need to pay insurance or MOT?
Is car insurance cheaper given that you hold off driving for 2 years?
compared to when you first get your license? how much cheaper? rough estimate? given that it's the same car that you'll be driving?
Is falling asleep at the wheel covered by car insurance?
no other cars or persons were involved
""Insurance problem, auto?
recently took a new job in Canada as a social worker and tried to add business coverage on my vehicle. I was told by my insurance company that this would be commercial because there is some risk I would have kids in the car. I called another company who told me it is just business. The initial company is cancelling my policy as they do not offer commercial insurance which they claim I require. They are not cancelling it for any negative reasons but will this cancellation show up and effect my rates even though it is not my fault. I tried to add the correct insurance but they did not have it so they are cancelling me. Other companies say I do not need commericial coverage so I should be ok with business but because there is a this cancellation I worry. I know if you have a cancellation for things like non payment or tickets it will impact you but what about this?
Do I have too much insurance?
I live in California, where the minimum required liability insurance limits are 15/30/5. I drive a 97 Ford Taurus and the cost of a deductible if I were to have full coverage would exceed the value of this old car- so I only have liability. My coverage is 50/100/25. I'm 25, my husband is 22, we have no accidents on our record, are good students and have absolutely no assets whatsoever. I'm beginning to wonder if we have more insurance than we need. I don't think I'm comfortable dropping my insurance to the required 15/30/5 minimum, but at the same time, I'm not sure if finding the happy medium at 25/50/25 would be a wise choice. I just want to make sure we're prepared, but not getting ripped off. Any advice?""
Need Medical Insurance?
My husband has a great job but the sorry part is it doesn't come with insurance which sucks. He makes too much money to qualify for Medicaid or Chips. I need an affordable health insurance for our family. Insurance is so expensive, please help me.""
1965 Coupe mustang Inline 6?
I have a 65 mustang stick shift Inline 6. I am a 16 year old Girl & I wanna use it as a daily driver. How much would the insurance Be on this car? I really need to know. What would be the best insurance for it? Currently my daily driver in a 1956 Chevy Pick-up Truck which was in great condition but now it needs a paint job. Anyways, Does any one know how much the insurance will be?""
Estimated car insurance cost for an 18 year old beginner driver?
I waited until I turned 18 until I went to get my drivers permit. I've had my permit since November 18 2009. I plan to stay on the permit until its expiration date. I'm not sure what car I plan to purchase after that, something affordable (nothing over the top) and that will last quite awhile. Now assuming all that, can any of you share with me what your car insurance payment is monthly, just an estimate of course. And throw in what type of car you have in so I can get a better idea. I'll be 19 at the time I finally get my license. My parents will not be adding me to their insurance, I have to pay for this on my own and I'd like to start putting some money away towards it so that I can make the payments with no problem later on. Are their any other things I can do to lower the cost of my car insurance as well?""
What insurance policies are available for an online real estate business?
How does insurance helps to secure any online business ? What are the prime areas of concern that need to be addressed?
Affordable health insurance?
I have no insurance, been unemployed over a year, no dependents, am not pregnant, and have no serious medical issues I'm aware of. If it matters, I'm not a US citizen, I'm a permanent resident alien. Which means I can work and pay taxes, but can't vote and don't get called for jury duty. I live in California. How do I find decent affordable health insurance? Are there any sliding scale clinics in San francisco for someone in my position? There seems to be options if one has kids, is pregnant, has a serious illness, or is a vet. I'm none of those. Also, I'm way past the time period to sign up for Cobra. Thanks in advance!""
High cost of insurance for retirees which is using up pensions.?
I worked 33 yrs at McDonnell Douglas (Boeing) Aircraft Corporation and retired in 1996. I received a fair pension and insurance that I had to pay, which was affordable. What started out to be affordable in 1996 has now reached unaffordable in 2007. My pension is being quickly absorbed by the cost of my insurance, which is now $933 a month for just me. Needless to say my insurance costs outweigh my monthly pension allowance now. I am a cancer survivor since 1992 yet I am unable to choose another insurance provider because I am considered, like many other survivors and patients, high risk and uninsureable. I didn't ask to be dianosed with cancer. In fact, I have always taken care of myself. Why should I/we be discriminated against after 10 or more years of being cancer free.""
What is the cheapest car insurance ? ( Company )?
Serious answers please . Thank you
Where can I find health insurance as an 18 year old and I'm peregnant?
I'm an 18 year old, I live in Florida, I have a job as a CNA, I'm pregnant and married. I was woundering where can I go to get affordable health insurance and if it's likely that I'll get coverage. I would also like to know an average of what it would cost.
Do you think that the government should require that people buy health insurances like car insurance?
Car insurance is mandatory and everyone must have it, who owns vehicles. Do you think government should require us to buy health insurances?""
What car has the CHEAPEST car insurance for a 16 yr old?
What car? make? model? yr? Insurance company?
In California can my car insurance company raise my rates based on my new zip code?
I moved to another city within South Orange County, CA, and Allstate raised my rate because of my new zip code. I thought there was a new CA law insurance companies can no longer do that.""
""CHEAPER for car insurance, a Acura rsx 2006 or a Honda Civic coupe 2010?
im just trying to save up the extra money
How much will motorcycle insurance and registration cost me per year?
I'm a 20 year old male and this will be my first motorcycle. I only have a permit right now but plan to get my licence immediately after registering and insuring my bike. Will that make a difference? I'm going to get like a 600 cc sport bike. I don't need an exact cost. Just shoot me a good range to expect. Thank you.
""SWINE FLU, BUT NOOOO INSURANCE! SOS!?""
my sister is REALLY sick. she has a really bad cold and cough and not getting better! she doesn't have insurance or money to pay for a dr.'s visit. would anyone be able to help me help her find somewhere she can go to get checked? i live in orange county, california.""
Mitsubishi evo 8 or mr car payments and insurance info?
if you have any of these two cars, how much is your monthly car payment? how much you pay for insurance. I'm planning to ge one but these two payments may not let me get it. I'd like to see if i can afford it. please give me some good answers. Thankyou""
Car insurance for 19 year old?
I currently drive a 2005 Mazda6 (4cyl, 140 hp sedan) and I am under my dads policy. I want to buy a 2008-09 VW GTI which is a 4cyl 200 hp turbo hatch, I want a 2 door, but will opt for the 5 door if it saves a good amount of money. How much more should I expect to pay for insurance with the GTI if on my dad's policy? Will it be cheaper to get my own? Also would waiting until I am 20 to buy the car save more money? I have never had a speeding ticket, I had one minor accident when I was 17, I have had a traffic violation last year, but I wasn't even the driver of the vehicle for the offense, also no points were added to my license for this as I did a traffic course and paid a fine instead. (florida)""
Taxi insurance?.....?
Just wondering how much about the taxi INSURANCE is to be a driver. Im 21, have my own car. Normal insurance is around 240 PM (60 week). Anyone know how much extra on top of that for taxi insurance? Around 30 more ive been told?""
I want the best quotes for health insurance to compare with other insurance company?
I want the best quotes for health insurance to compare with other insurance company.
Will my insurance go up if we get another car?
Ok, so im 16 and I want to know if my mom buys herself a new car and gives me her old one, will my insurance go from a part time driver to a full-time driver, EVEN if BOTH cars are in HER name. So in total, there will be 3 cars, 1 my dad's(his name) and 2 my mom's(her name) I've heard many different answers, some of which say no, and some yes. If it helps, I live near Philadelphia PA. Thanks!""
Best insurance for a young additional driver?
Hi, I am in the process of buying a car, and have been for ages, and i am now trying to find the cheapest insurance like i have been for ages. My um will be the main driver, as she is selling her cr, and i walk to school everyday, so i will b the 17 year old male additional driver. Whats the best insurance quote i can get? Anyone got any recommendations? Im looking at getting a peugeot 207, which are 1.4 or 6, and many of them the sport edition. Dont bother telling me to get a different car as this is the one i like and have saved up for. Many Thanks for any help with my cheap insurance, Thanks""
""High deductible, low premium?""
hello, can someone please explain insurance terminology? what does high deductible mean? who should get this and who SHOULDN'T? i am trying to help my parents by purchasing ...show more""
What's the cheapest auto insurance ?
What's the cheapest auto insurance ?
Can i get cheep insurance after being convicted of a 23140 in the California vehicle code?
I got pulled over more then a year ago and had a few beers with my best friend before he left for the armed services. I have the worlds brightest car and this probably wasn't the best idea. This happened 2 months before my 21st bday. My term to not have a licence is almost up and I am scared what my insurance is gonna look like. Does anyone know a way i can get cheep insurance or clear my driving record? Its only a infraction but will seriously mess up my life for the next 10 years. Any advice about programs insurance company s might have to lower costs so i can afford it when this period is up?
Low income health insurance?
One of my friends recently came to US from a different country. She sold whatever she had and came to US with 25000$. Recently since she was sick she had to go to emergency room for three days. The problem is she did not have any kind of health insurance. Somebody in the hospital told her that she might be eligible for special kind of low income insurance. Her salary is 900$ per month and she get some help from her brother to be able to pay for rent and living costs. Here is my question: does having 25000$ in the bank account disqualify her for this low income insurance? Do they expect that she pay nearly all these 25000$ for the cost of her visit to emergency room? She was asked to provide all the documents regarding her bank accounts, rent she pays and documents showing her income. She is living in Bay area.""
""Pregnant, unemployed and I need insurance?""
I'm 24, recently terminated from BOA due to a matter with an incorrect procedure. Meanwhile, I'm pregnant with my second child and unemployed. My husband is doing great for our family (we are a small single family living by ourselves). He's working and paying all the bills and then some. Where can I find some much needed health insurance for myself? Please advise. Thanks and God bless.. (I'm 24, african-american, non-smoker, not diabetic, don't have any std or sexual disease, and I'm healthy thus far. Please help) Located in Atlanta Georgia, USA""
What kind of business insurance is needed for a small business retail store?
& on average, how much does it cost (it will be in Brookly/NYC)""
Can my Health Insurance cover for my Car Insurance?
I currently have AmeriChoice as my health Insurance and High Point as my car Insurance. Does anybody know how this works? I've some people say that they have their car ins. with their health ins. and they end up paying less $$ for their car Ins. Help!
What insurance companys will insure you at the age of 17?
what insurance companys will insure people at the age of 17
Are auto insurance premiums negotiable?
They want me to pay the same rate I've been paying the last two years. Is the company/industry open to negotiating thru its phone agents? Anyone have success or is this company too big to do that sort of thing?
Insurance doesn't want to fix car?
Ok, So I have insurance through UAIC. I was not aware till the research i've done they are the biggest losers in the business. Here's my issue, my car was vandalized on november 12 of this year. I have full coverage insurance. Prior to insurance, we agreed to have photos taken by the local insurance so they can note any problem.. Car clear perfect which it was. No a scratch, ding or dent showroom conidition I would say at the time. I filed the claim the same day of the 12th of November. It took them 2weeks just to come estimate the car, estimate was 1500 and let me tell you. My smallest quote was 2900$ so immediately I was a little worried about it. Well I finally got a call back today on december 13th. Telling me the insurance estimator for them said the car had prior wear and tear. Which it was absolutely not! i treat my car great and have pictures to proof it. What can I do, and I see no point in full coverage with these guys! I don't know if i should be angry, do a legal matter or just cut my losses and switch back to liberty mutual""
Do you have health insurance?
if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deductable do you have? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance?""
Car insurance advice please?
ok a year ago my hubby had a car accident, it still isn't settled and just had a renewal for our car insurance, more than double what it was last year, they've said its because they've took off the no claims because they don't know which way the claim will go, even though we've been advised that we will win, the only thing i think is wrong is that were no claiming on the car insurance were claiming through a solicitor..can someone help me here i don't know what to do""
What is a cheap car insurance for students?
What is a cheap car insurance for students?
Where can I find health insurance as an 18 year old and I'm peregnant?
I'm an 18 year old, I live in Florida, I have a job as a CNA, I'm pregnant and married. I was woundering where can I go to get affordable health insurance and if it's likely that I'll get coverage. I would also like to know an average of what it would cost.
How much would liability insurance cost?
I need to know how much it would cost to have general liability insurance and E&O. I live in California. thanks.
Will filing a claim for broken car window raise my insurance payments?
I woke up to a broken driver side window this morning and the first thing i do is call my insurance to ask if its covered. My insurance said it would cost 350 bucks to fix it and i have a 500 deductable so i gta pay out of pocket anyway. He scheduled an appointment for me to get it fixed at a local shop. Is this claim going to affect my rates?
What are insurance rate for a motorcycle driver?
What are insurance rate for a motorcycle driver?
How much would car insurance cost for a 17 year old from allstate in california?
does it also matter what kind of a car it is? I have a 1999 chevy malibu
What are the benefits of Antique Car Insurance?
Or Collectible Car Insurance, whatever you want to call it. And is it cheaper than typical insurance? (Though I doubt it)""
I'm 19 years old and i was wondering if anybody uses rodney d. young for their insurance? is it cheap?
I'm 19 years old and i was wondering if anybody uses rodney d. young for their insurance? is it cheap?
Car insurance for 16 year old boy in Bay Area California under parents?
I have good grades (above a 3.5), and I'm looking for cheap insurance for either a 2003 Honda Odyssey LX or a 2002 Lexus RX300. As of now, I am 16 and 4 months.""
The candidates are drum about affordable health insurance?
they go on and on about 15% do not have affordable health insurance 45 million well what about the other 85 million that do? I'm not saying the others don't rate insurance and it should be affordability to everyone. But get off the negative drum and onto the up beat of one. If they are talking about the elder and small kids that is one thing then just say that don't throw a bunch of numebrs out thinking all are going to vote for you just becasue you say this or that.
What do liquor liability insurance papers look like?
Like if you need to confirm that you have it, what do you show people?""
Do you have to be a licensed insurance agent to do this?
Do you have to be a licensed insurance agent to quote Medicare Supplement rates in Texas? Please cite a source of your information.
I'm looking at opening an insurance agency. Wondering whether to go with as an independent co. or brand name
Looking for the highest commissions available
Mexican car insurance?
If I drive into Mexico, do I need to get insurance for my car from a Mexican insurance company or is the American insurance valid there as well?""
Boat insurance cost on average for a 52ft 1989 sailboat boat?
I am looking for what others may have paid, so when i do get a quote I know what to expect. If you have something to say that negative please don't respond.""
Cheap insurance w/a DUI???
Which are the best companies to compare for car insurance w/a DUI on your record???
If I get car insurance will my parents' rates go up?
If I get my own car insurance with my own policy from a completely different insurance company than my parents', but use the same address, would that cause my parents' rates to go up?""
Average cost of car insurance ?! 20YO?
I'm a 20 year old female , I'm about to get my own car insurance . What's the average monthly cost for someone my age with just an old beater car?""
Question about applying for health insurance?
Okay so I applied for medi-cal a few weeks ago and I didn't qualify, because i have more than $2000 on my savings account. I'm twenty one years old living with my parents and going to college with no job; would I qualify for Cover California?How much money can I have on the bank to qualify?""
Do you need car insurance to get your permit in New jersey?
Do you need car insurance to get your permit in New jersey?
Your personal experiences with Progressive Auto insurance?
I just got a lease on a 2010 Honda Civic. Its the first car ever in my name and was a bit pricey for me b/c I don't have an extensive credit history. Progressive was the cheapest auto insurance I could find so I decided to try it. Any pros/cons you've experienced?
I knocked someones car but he claimed for a lot more and now my insurance has gone from 400 to 900 - help!!?
Back in June I knocked into a stationary vehicle in a car park. I waited for the guy to come back and apologised straight away. (when its your fault in life own up) He was initially annoyed (fair enough) but went on to tell me that someone else had knocked into his car recently and caused 600 worth of damage (the other driver had sped off and hed already had a quote for the work). I cant remember the exact wording of the next bit - but it was understood that I would pay whatever it cost on top of that to fix the area (bumper / side corner area) We exchanged details. I told my insurance company what had happened and the previous damage. There were also photos taken at the time that I forwarded on (not sure if they were actually any help) Next I hear his insurance company has approached mine with a bill for 700. The total amount for fixing his car. I brought up the matter of the previous damage - couple of conversations between insurance companies - his asking him directly if there was any previous damage and him saying no. I told my insurance company that there was a friend with me (we were walking our dogs in the park) who had heard the whole conversation - in fact she was the one that took the pictures. She is a responsible, respectable person who was happy to make a statement. I was told by the insurance company that as it was someone who knew me - they couldnt be seen as an impartial person and they ended up paying the whole amount to his insurance company. I have just received my new insurance quote. Last year it was 437 and now that I have lost my 3 years no claims bonus (I have been driving for much longer but have only owned a small van for 3 years (practicality for my dogs muddy feet) and insurance starts again for vans) but I also have this 700 fault against my name this year. My insurance quote is now 960. Is there anything I can do. Does anyone have advice for any further action I can take? I believe in taking responsibility for your actions - but I am being cheated here out of a lot of money and I dont know what to do. If 100 was down to me then I could have just paid that amount directly and not lost my no claims bonus. But as it stands it will cost me around 500 this year and more again on the consequent years of insurance. Sorry for this being a long one but I really am lost. My insurance is due on 7th Jan.""
""Car accident, insurance wont pay up, need help?""
i was coming home from work and i hit someone else's parked car when i skidded on ice. i have since found out that i was not supposed to drive to and from work under a technicality of not using the car for work. however i don't use it for work and only use it for the 3 minute commute, as i have a Sunday job. however the insurance company is saying that it will not pay out for both my car and the car i hit. its a 6 grand motor and god knows what the other guys car will cost to fix. basically im asking if they are within their right to not pay out and would i have to pay for the other guys car? i understand i should phone the insurance company but they're closed for Christmas""
What are some cheap car insurance companies for me?
I know the General offers really low rates, but what other companies offered in Louisiana are cheap?""
How much did your car AND insurance cost?!?
I need to do an independent survey for my maths GCSE and i need to know how much your car cost and how much it cost to insure it. Need aout 50 answers overall. 30 at least. Please answer, thankyou!""
Car Insurance question?
I am 16 and in need of car insurance. I have a A-B average, and have a clean criminial and driving record. I am driving a 1993 saturn SL (4 door sedan) what would be the best insurance agency to go with? Thanks""
How does a 'unsafe vehicle' violation affect ones insurance?
I got my speeding ticket reduced from a speeding ticket to a 'unsafe vehicle' violation. How many points is that and how does it affect your insurance rates. I thought I herd te judge say it counts as zero points.
Where can I find health insurance as an 18 year old and I'm peregnant?
I'm an 18 year old, I live in Florida, I have a job as a CNA, I'm pregnant and married. I was woundering where can I go to get affordable health insurance and if it's likely that I'll get coverage. I would also like to know an average of what it would cost.
Am having two different auto insurances on two different cars but are both in my name.Is it legal?
I have 2 cars, I just bought one cash. So I already have full coverage on one car and its paid for 6 months, and I want to add insurance on the other but with a different insurance company because it is cheaper and I will be getting only liability. Is it legal to be carrying different insurances or are they required to be both with the same company? I live in Texas! Thanks in advance!""
""Car Insurance....what to buy, how to buy.?""
What websites can I go to to find out what to buy , where to buy, what companies to avoid, the Best car insurance companies, etc. ? What companies do other people recommend for single, middle aged male, with an excellent FICO score, who wants to insure one 5-yr old 4 door family -type sedan ?""
How much will insurance cost for a age 36 driver who got her license in this year?
Just give me estimate.
How do i get car insurance with a suspended registration and license ?
I had a lapse in insurance & in turn the cars rgstn. & my lic has been susp.-now it seems after i pay restoration fee for each, dmv wont reinstate my reg for the car w/o proof of ins. and ins. wont insure w/o proof of rgstrtn. HELP.""
Car insurance for a teenager?
How much do you think insurance will cost (adding another car to my parents insurance plan)
""17 year old learner, got my own car - Do I just need learner insurance for now?
I'm a learner driver with my test next month and I now have my own car. I want to practice in my own car up until my test and I'm not sure whether I just need learner insurance or if the car itself needs to be insured as well? Learner insurance is around 80 for the month and for 'proper' insurance then it's around 2000. Any help?
Im Looking for cheap auto insurance in NJ?
Any suggestions? Anything except Cure,Esurance,Metlife and travelers. been there done that. Cure is just awful and unprofessional!""
Good auto insurance providers?
I am 21 and just getting first car and looking for some good insurance companies with affordable rates?
I have a car insurance question.?
about how much would it cost for a 16 year old boy in california todrive a 2004 silverado access cab? please give me a quote and not a website.
How much would the car insurance for a Cadillac Escalade 2011 be?
The car is for an 18 year old and two other adults are included in the insurance plan for State Farm.
Acura RSX or Toyota Celica. only have 8 grand to spend
which will have cheaper insurance, is faster, can be modified more""
Possible cancer without insurance?
My fiance has a visible tumor (it's visible--it was benign and removed before but came back). He lost his health insurance a couple years ago, and he seems to only be progressively be getting sicker (we don't know if it's because it's a cancerous tumor or his stress levels are insanely high). Either way, he obviously needs to see a doctor--but we have no insurance and we don't make enough to afford insurance (we might make little enough to qualify for medicaid--for this question, assume we do). My question is, what options does he have? We can't afford treatment. He doesn't want to go to a doctor w/o insurance because they won't help him since he can't pay and he will lose the job he has and what little he does make. Please, are there special programs? I know his condition does not qualify for the fast SSI claims as I looked into that already. Would medicaid be enough? Are there special cancer programs? Is there anything? Or is he really going to be left to die? He's only 26. Also, we live in Colorado (since that might make a difference).""
""How many people out there would love a health care insurance exchange, where you can buy insurance on your own?""
and not have to choose a job based on benefits, and you could switch jobs without worrying about losing coverage. Why would people be against this, unless they are part of a union and do not want everyone to have great benefits like they do?""
Business insurance for cleaning business?
me and my friend want to start our own small cleaning business as a contractor and agencies who gonna get us work asking for insurance can anyone tell how much will it cost me and what do i need to get insured as we have general cleaning equipments, car and steam clean machine only. earning very less initially so cant afford much. please guide us. thanks""
""Cheap teen car insurance, best car to get?""
16, licensed, in high school with a b average. I know some insurance places give a discount for a b average. I know older cars with a good safety rating tend to have cheaper insurance quotes, if you can, please list some cars that you know would be cheaper to insure. Also, if you know the insurance companies that do discounts for a b average I would like to know. I am a safe driver so I'm not too worries about good coverage, I'm only driving to school and back daily. I need to pay for this myself so doing high school, running start, and having a part time job I wont be able to pay for anything too expensive. So, best cars to get? and best insurance?""
""Under 1000 car, low insurance group, fuel effieient, help?
I'm looking to get myself a car for one year as soon as i pass my test so i can get a no claims bonus. what car would be best to buy (used) what year (reliable or not too difficult to keep maintained by me alone.) It needs to have a low monthly running cost and be almost guaranteed to survive without major (>150) parts replacement over the year. and it needs to be in a low insurance group.
What home insurance company insures homes with knob and tube wiring?
I am looking to purchase homeowners insurance on my home. It has knob and tube wiring and a circuit breaker. I was told that the knob and tube is a more recent version or wiring and not as bad as the older kind. I am having difficulty finding an insurance company with reasonable rates, under $600.00.The home is valued at $90,000.""
What is the best (Cheap) insurance?
I live in Jacksonville Fl. I was wondering what is the cheapest, but good insurance for someone who just got their license. I am 17 right now, and in a few months I will be 18, since i have no one to let me drive with my permit i am going to pay someone to come out and teach me so i can get a car and my license.""
Could switching to Geico really save you 15 percent or more on car insurance?
Does the early bird catch the worm? Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15 percent or more on car insurance.
Can i use my car that is under my dads car insurance? ?
Ok so recently my dad bought me a 2005 ford focus and he registered it under mine AND his name.I have my drivers lisence but i dont have insurance but he does.he added the car in his insurance but he cant add me because the insurance will be killer since im 19.can i get introuble if im driving my car that is under Mine an his name but im not in the insurance? But the car itself IS insured? I live in california.
How much does it cost to get a $1 Million Insurance policy for a film?
Approximately how much would it cost to obtain a $1 Million Dollar Insurance Policy for a feature film shoot? No fancy stunts or explosions, a few car scenes with car mounts, shooting on the RED camera with a 5-ton grip truck. Any ideas? All the websites that give quotes make you fill out a lot of information to obtain a quote from a representative. I just need an estimate.""
What is the cheapest life insurance a 66 year old man from california can get?
My dad is currently with AAA, signed up for life insurance for the first time, this month... he is paying 350 a month which is making it hard for him to have money for food. I'm looking for a cheaper plan for him. No health problems.""
How much can i expect to pay for insurance?
Hi, Well im about to finance a Mercedes-Benz C300 and wanted to know how much should i expect to pay for insurance. Im 19 by the way, have a credit score of 710, dont know if insurance companies look at scores, but finally, this will be my first car. Hope that helps. Thank you!""
What happen if drive car with no insurance?
i've been buying this used car since last 2 weeks and drive it with no insurance. The MOT and tax will end in August. I just cant afford to buy the insurance yet. What happen if i don't insured it? i live in Northern Ireland, UK""
How much is car insurance for 16 year olds?
How much is car insurance for 16 year olds?
Where can I find health insurance as an 18 year old and I'm peregnant?
I'm an 18 year old, I live in Florida, I have a job as a CNA, I'm pregnant and married. I was woundering where can I go to get affordable health insurance and if it's likely that I'll get coverage. I would also like to know an average of what it would cost.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/building-insurance-quote-business-riley-schultz/"
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fancycollectionfury-blog1 · 7 years ago
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Bussiness insurance?
"Bussiness insurance?
need to know what type of insurance i need to open a carpet cleaning and window cleaning service.
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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need to know what type of insurance i need to open a carpet cleaning and window cleaning service.
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Im looking for car insurance in washington im 22m and im student and this is my first insurance,how much isit?""
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I want to buy a car insurance on my own and i am 18 years old.?
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Car insurance?
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Best/cheapest car w/ durability and power?
I'm going to buy a car in the near future, but I'm just having some trouble finding a good one. Here is a list of what I'm looking for: -0-60 in less than 7 seconds -Over 20 MPG -Easy to work with -A few aftermarket parts -Manual -CHEAP INSURANCE!!! Optional: -Not a convertible -RWD preferred. -DURABLE Thanks for your replies!""
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Car insurance for a learner...?
im 17 now and want to start learning to drive. But what i want to do is buy a car, then get insured on it as a learner and have my dad take me out driving to teach me. i want a car like a peugeot 206, renault clio, vauxhall corsa, a ford KA or something small like that. does anybody know how much insurance will be for me as a learner? also im female if that helps!?""
How much would car insurance cost for a 17 year old male on a 2013 Dodge Charger V6?
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What is the best health insurance for me?
I'm a 21 year old male. I think I need to get some health insurance. I want to pay the least amount that I can per month or least amount per visit or both any input is great thank you :)
Whats the insurance for a first driver teen?
Im gonna be driving in a couple mths and i need to know a ins rate. I will be getting a 1998 Ford Mustang V6. I live in Houston, Texas. If u know leave an answer. Thx""
Do you have to have a valid drivers license to purchase car insurance in Arizona?
I do not have a drivers license, however I do have the money to buy a car. If I buy the car, can I get insurance on it until I do have a drivers license? Could someone else drive it during this time? Would I need to put them on the insurance? What if I was making payments on the car still? I have an opportunity to buy this car now and I would like to, but like I said, I don't have a license. Thanks.""
Where can i find the cheapest car insurance for a new young driver?
I'm looking to insure a car most likely small, i've been trawling the web for hours now and just wondering if anyone could recomend a cheap insurer for a young (17) driver. Many thanks.""
Which is more expensive to maintain. BMW or Acura? Is insurance price higher?
Which is more expensive to maintain. BMW or Acura? Is insurance price higher?
Whats the cheapest insurance company?
I need to know the cheapest car insurance to use? I'm an 18 y/o female single living in Portland,OR I graduated Ive never been in a car accident I took drivers Ed The car ...show more""
What is usps $100 insurance included mean? Do i have to pay for it?
i order something from a third party amazon seller and today when i track my order it said: Features: $100 insurance included...what does this mean? do i have to pay extra?
Bussiness insurance?
need to know what type of insurance i need to open a carpet cleaning and window cleaning service.
Why is fully comprehensive much cheaper then 3rd party for a 17 year old?
Hello I am getting close to passing my test and i have been looking at the types of cars that i can get that will give me the cheapest insurance quote. I am planning to go on my parents insurance as an Additional driver an they would own the car. I was looking quotes and was surprised to discovered to fully comprehensive was much much cheaper then 3rd. about 1400 compared to 3200 what is going on, also a renault 1.2 Clio is more expensive then a 1.6 renault Megane. Any advice on getting low insurance and why is fully comp cheaper? thanks for any help""
Which comes first? The car or insurance?
You can't drive without insurance, but your insurance rate depends in part on what kind of car you drive. So which do you get first?""
Health insurance in Texas for low income families?
My dad recently lost his job, but has an existing medical condition, an ex-wife, and 5 kids to support. I don't know much about the health insurance options in Texas, but I'm looking for a program that will allow my family to be insured for cheap... something like Arizona's AHCCCS health insurance for low income people""
Free Insurance Quotes Online?
Hi, I just bought a car and I need to get insurance asap so I can drive. A friend told me you can get free insurance quotes from websites online. Is it true?""
Getting added on to my parents auto insurance?
ok well i just got my license and want to get added onto my parents insurance and a want to know an estimate on how much it would cost for me to do that. Im a 17 year old male and my parents have AIG. So please help me
Where can I find the cheapest health insurance in California?
Basically I am enrolling in this EMT course and they REQUIRE that you have proof of health insurance before enrolling in the class. Where can I find the cheapest insurance just to fill this basic need? Doesn't matter about coverage and co-pays, etc. just need something to suffice until I'm done with the course, then I'm going to drop the insurance once I get it from my job as an EMT, ya know. Me: married 23 yr old female in perfect health.""
How much does a check up cost without an insurance?
I heard some rumors that if you don't have insurance they can do a check up on you and just send you a bill @ your house where you can do your payments.
HELP! Insurance company trying to low ball estimate?
Back in April I was driving and a lady tried switching lanes and struck my vehicle. I immediately went to an auto body shop and got an estimate for the damage, they took photos and everything. I've been contacting her insurance and dealing with this for over two months... I had to send them the police report because the woman tried lying and said I hit her, so I had to prove she was at fault. They would never return my calls. Until I talked to the field adjuster. He then called me yesterday told me he got the estimate from the body shop which was one of their recommended shops, and was mailing me the check for the damage. However he failed to tell me the check he was sending was for $1000 less than the estimate. I don't agree with this, what do I do? I called and no one will call me back from the company Also, I own my car outright. It's a 2004 tiburon is excellent condition. The insurance company was giving me issues about me wanting the check sent to me. I plan on getting the damages repaired that are necessary but leaving what isn't and keeping the money that's left over. I'm not even making them get me a rental for the time I don't have the car! Please help The company is American family.""
""Car insurance help, for new driver!?""
I passed my driving test 3 months ago and am looking for insurance to drive my parents car, however every company i have tried is way too expensive (one quoted 11000?!?!) anyway, does anyone know of any UK insurance companies that do good deals for new drivers?? please help, i am so desperate to drive! thanks :)""
Do I need to buy auto insurance for my used car dealership?
We are just starting out and wonder if our personal car insurance would cover test drives, or our driving the vehicles. It is a sole proprietorship.""
2012 mustang gt vs 2009 bmw 335i coupe for insurance and reliability?
im am wondering what would be cheaper on insurance but most off all what would be the most reliable please no bias, although i am a ford fan boy you cant argue with a bmw but i hear they arnt to reliable being twin turbo v6, and also because if they arnt reliable i dont want to be stuck with expensive a## parts to buy... im 19 with a clean driving record""
Need insurance advice?
First time driver I have tools to carry so will need a good engine Insurance is high so - What's a good engined car with cheap insurance? I have researched but still need all the help I can get. :/
I'm in college with no health or dental insurance... What are my options?
My parents don't have any health insurance either, so being on one of their plans isn't an option. I'm kind of stressed out because I have asthma and my wisdom teeth are starting to really bother me, but I don't make nearly enough money to take care of either problem. As of today what are my options for affordable health/dental care until I graduate and can afford life?""
Car Insurance Question?
First, I recently passed my road test and I am allowed to drive by myself. The problem is that the pink card (car insurance) has my parent's names on it and not mine. But, my parents recall putting me in a car insurance plan with them. So technically without my name on the card, I would be driving without insurance? And that's illegal right? (At least in Canada, Alberta) Would I be able to drive or no?""
""Hi, this is my first time getting contact lenses, i just wanna know where can I find an affordable price?""
I have called a few optometry clinics already but the price is just not satisfying; it was around $350.00 for a year (including eye exam). I would like to know if there is any other place that would do it for cheaper. By the way, I live around San Gabriel, CA. Please recommend optometry clinics located around me(less than 20mins drive), I would appreciate it.""
Would Jesus want health care for ALL americans?
Or would he worry about the Big insurance companies not being able to compete with a public option?
Car insurance at 20 on average?
How much would car insurance be for me if i only have my licence for 2 months before i get a car and i am 20 years old?. The car would be minimum a 1.2 litre and maximum a 1.6 litre so what would a 1.2 litre, 1.4 litre and 1.6 litre cost me on average?.""
Will a window Tint ticket effect my insurance rate? Also how much is a window tint ticket in California?
If i get a ticket for window tint will my insurance rate increase? Also how much are the window tint tickets? I am aware that some officers give you a fix it ticket but if they dont how much money is the ticket? I am located in California and just want to check this out before I get my windows tinted.
What is the cheapest insurance company?
What is the cheapest insurance company?
How do I get health insurance at 19 years old?
Hi I am a 19 year old college full time female student and I cannot be covered on my mom's health insurance because she is on disability. I don't have the money to just go to a hospital or even the money for gas to go to the free clinics which are 20 miles away or so. My fiance and I are needing health insurance but every time we apply we get turned down. Can anyone help us by telling me some answers?
Sr22 insurance help please anyone?
Ok so i got pulled over last week...and i got a ticket... I also have to appear to court because i got another ticket for no insurance proof.. i was driving my dads vehicle and i couldnt find the insurance card but I can proof my dad did have insurance... So would I still have to file for sr22????
What's the best and cheap health insurance for self employed in US?
What's the best and cheap health insurance for self employed in US?
About how much does insurance generally run for a commercial semi truck?
Me and my dad are going to start a small trucking company. Only one truck at first. He will be the driver and I'll be putting up the money for it and be the owner. I'll be getting a big of money when I turn 18 from inheritance (about 130,000). I already have a truck picked out, and we're going to lease on with a company. My dad has driven trucks for over 40 years now and knows a lot about the industry. I've talked to a few other owner operators, and I know permits and such can generally run around 5000 or less but the insurance rates are scaring the hell out of me. I know there's no way of giving an accurate estimate without knowing the drivers records and what you'll be hauling or the type of truck. I know it will be a van though. Also, I know the truck will be a 98' model or somewhere around that year. Anyway, I've seen numbers on up to the millions, and then I've seen rates that are only 1500 to 5000 annually. I would just like to know from any owner operators, or people that might have an idea about trucking, about how much does basic insurance cost for a semi truck and trailer? Also, any other information about permits and total costs and expenses would be greatly appreciated. Would 130,000 be enough to get one truck on the road and running with money left over? Thanks so much in advance for any advice :)""
Where to find a reliable and cheap insurance for my 2008 car?
I'm frustrated with my previous insurance company, it's expensive and unreliable which means most of the time they dont pay my claims. :'(""
Health Insurance?
I've recently changed jobs. The job that I have right now doesn't offer insurance at the moment. While looking for affordable health insurance I got injured playing soccer (I was diagnosed with torn ACL). Any idea what shoud I do now? According to the doctor the surgery can wait few months. Should I hide my injury from the insurance company and get the insurance, then after some time fix my knee etc? Please help.""
Bussiness insurance?
need to know what type of insurance i need to open a carpet cleaning and window cleaning service.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-usually-insurance-cost-when-you-lease-car-eulah-rosenda"
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