#that is a grown man with a dick and balls and criminal history

[obioxide]

im the only person here who truly understands albert arlington.. 2023 motd tumblr did weasel absolutely dirty… you guys will never understand him like i do /silly

[dc-earth53]

0012 - Oracle (Barbara Gordon)

Age: 38

Occupation: Librarian, detective, former adventurer, congresswoman.

Marital status: Single

Known relatives: James Gordon (father), Eileen Gordon (mother), Sarah Essen Gordon (stepmother, deceased), James Gordon Jr. (brother).

Group affiliation: Birds of Prey, Gotham Knights, formerly Suicide Squad, Justice League of America.

Base of operations: Gotham Clock Tower, Gotham City, New Jersey

Height: 5’7”

Weight: 126 lbs.

History:

38 years ago: Barbara Gordon is born to James Gordon and his first wife, Eileen.

22 years ago: Barbara befriends Katarina Armstrong in high school, their friendship ending about a year later when Armstrong trips her on the running track during a race.

20 years ago: The first reports of a “Bat-Man” in Gotham City start coming in, and Barbara becomes obsessed.

18 years ago: Barbara eavesdrops on a conversation between her father and Batman, and her obsession only grows. She soon enrolls in self-defense classes, getting a black belt in a short amount of time.

17 years ago: 

Barbara applies for the Gotham City Police Academy, but is rejected by her father. To spite him, she fashions a feminine version of Batman’s costume to wear to a masquerade ball held by the GCPD. The newly christened “Batgirl” stumbles upon a scheme by Killer Moth, and played a crucial part in defeating the costumed criminal.

Batgirl soon befriends Batman and Robin, having a close working relationship with the latter.

16 years ago: 

Batgirl and Supergirl meet, working together to defeat Mr. Mxyzptlk.

Gordon gets a job at the Gotham City Public Library after graduating from Gotham University with a degree in Library Science.

15 years ago: Barbara meets private investigator Jason Bard, and the two begin dating.

13 years ago: Barbara runs for Congress and is elected, leaving Gotham City and Bard behind for Washington D.C, continuing her adventures as Batgirl during her downtime.

11 years ago: Barbara loses her bid for re-election, returning to Gotham and briefly rekindling her relationship with Bard. She participates in the fight against the Anti-Monitor with the rest of Earth’s heroes.

10 years ago: 

Barbara is shot in the spine by the Joker and paralyzed from the waist down, as part of the lunatic’s campaign to prove that just a single bad day can drive anyone mad.

Though confined to a wheelchair, Barbara is still determined to fight crime in her own way. She develops an advanced computer system and aids Amanda Waller’s Task Force X under the pseudonym of “Oracle.”

8 years ago: 

Oracle founds the Birds of Prey, an all-female team of superheroes including Black Canary and Huntress operating out of Gotham Clock Tower.

Oracle is asked by Batman to join the Justice League of America.

Gordon comes into contact online with Ted Kord, the Blue Beetle, and the two hit it off, forming a long-distance relationship.

7 years ago: During the aftermath of the cataclysmic earthquake that hit Gotham City, Barbara recruits Cassandra Cain as a field agent, noticing her talents in martial arts, and starts training her to be the new Batgirl.

6 years ago: 

Feeling used by Batman after his manipulation of her during a major gang war in Gotham, Oracle relocates her operations to Metropolis.

Gordon starts treatments with Dr. Pieter Cross to begin curing her paralysis, regaining a small amount of movement in her toes. She also starts using a special harness to walk for short periods of time.

5 years ago:

Oracle joins forces with the rest of Earth’s heroes to bring down Maxwell Lord and the Brother Eye satellite after Lord murders Kord.

Gordon and Armstrong, under the alias of Spy Smasher, come into conflict when Armstrong attempts to take over the Birds of Prey.

4 years ago

Cassandra Cain steps down from the role of Batgirl, passing it to Stephanie Brown, who begins training under Barbara.

2 years ago: A psychopathic James Gordon Jr. returns to Gotham, kidnapping Barbara. She stabs him through the eye, holding him off long enough for Nightwing and her father to come to her aid.

1 year ago: Jason Bard returns, revealing himself to be in league with Hush. Oracle, Batgirl, and the Red Hood team up to defeat him.

Present day: Oracle and the Birds of Prey fight against the Joker after he kidnaps Barbara’s mother, saying he’ll release her if Barbara marries him.

Commentary:

My Nightwing post wasn’t as controversial as I thought it would be, so here goes nothing... 

This is Barbara Gordon. Former Batgirl, current Oracle and Oracle for the foreseeable future. Yes, the Killing Joke still happens in this timeline, no, she doesn’t return to active duty, and yes, she’s roughly fifteen years older than in mainstream continuity. Deal with it.

This Babs takes a lot of inspiration from her pre-Crisis portrayal, which has been all but forgotten about these days. There, she was a fully grown librarian and a Congresswoman for a time (a plot that didn’t really amount to anything there, but certainly would send waves here - remember when Gabrielle Giffords was shot? That’s the impact The Killing Joke would have here, with Babs having only recently lost her bid for re-election). This also means she’s older than in canon, making a relationship with Dick Grayson impractical during her early years but in turn giving her a closer bond with Black Canary, her lesbian lover- I mean... well, just look at how Gail Simone writes them!

Aaaaanywayyyy.... Barbara, like Nightwing, is another one of those Bat-family characters who has branched out to the universe as a whole, truly becoming her own character apart from Batman’s aegis. She’s built her own network of operatives with the Birds of Prey, and serves as the chief information broker for the superhero community at large, being badass even though she can’t be in the field that often.

I also didn’t keep her entirely crippled - with some difficulty and the aid of a special harness, this Babs can traverse short distances on her own two feet, although she doesn’t usually leave the clock tower with it on - it’s a good compromise between leaving her permanently in the chair and having her disability handwaved away by super-science like in the New 52.

And don’t fret, New 52 Batgirl fans - I haven’t forgotten about Burnside or the stylish as hell Batgirl costume Babs wore there. I have plans for all that, just you wait.

Speaking of costumes... she wears comfortable civilian clothes as Oracle, appearing as that weird green translucent head when speaking digitally to those who don’t know her identity. That’s all I’ve got for her.

Next up: Hakwman and Hawkwoman!

[alliswell21]

This was a prompt I saw @lovely-tothe-bone had posted. You know me, I suffer “shiny-red-ball syndrome” or actually “puffy-tail-plot-bunny Syndrome”

Anywho... Rated M for language and adult situations. Modern!Everlark. Also, I stole a line from @mega-aulover and I’m not sorry! 🙃

The Garage

The Panem Mockingjays were in the Super Bowl for the first time in history, a true Cinderella story of perseverance and teamwork that brought them to play against none other than the legendary Capitol Mutts, who were getting the beating of their life! 27 to 3 with only thirteen minutes on the clock and one timeout left.

The trophy was in the bag, and it was beautiful!

The Mockingjays were in possession; the Mutts ran an aggressive defense, but the Mockingjays’ quarterback sidestepped a tackle and scored a 30 yard touchdown.

The whole room in the Everdeen home exploded in cheers!

Katniss had been squirming half the evening in the loveseat she occupied with her best friend, Peeta Mellark, and decided she couldn’t take the tension anymore. She had to do something about it.

Looking around, Katniss stood up and motioned Peeta to follow her. She put a finger to her lips to shush him, then wrapped her hand around his, and pulled him out of the den, where their families were celebrating raucously the victory they could practically taste.

“Where are we going?” Peeta whispered harshly, trying not to trip over his feet.

“Somewhere quiet, where we can be alone for a minute.” She responded in a similar tone. “Now, stop walking so loudly, would you?”

“Sorry.” He said sheepishly, and really tried to step lightly on Mrs. Everdeen’s pristine hardwood floors.

They made it to the kitchen, but instead of turning left, to the staircase leading upstairs to the bedrooms, Katniss went straight, out the kitchen door to the backyard, and on to the detached garage.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Peeta asked nervously.

The garage was Mr. Everdeen’s pseudo mancave, complete with a mini fridge, a rickety couch and an ancient TV set on top of his work bench. Their fathers hung out there for hours drinking beer, working on projects, deploring sports statistics and generally gossiping about whatever it was grown man gossiped about.

Katniss winked and closed the garage door with a click behind them.

"Our parents are so drunk, they won't even notice we left. Calm down." She told him as she fell to her knees, making quick work of his fly and undershorts.

Peeta tried to argue— honest! but Katniss was fast with those clever fingers of hers— her mouth on his cock shut him up quickly.

Peeta stood there uselessly, struggling between watching her suckle his dick while pumping the parts of him she couldn’t fit in her warm little mouth, and letting his head fall backwards and enjoy the ride until it was his turn to reciprocate the favor; and Lord in Heaven, did he wanted to reciprocate!

She had really gotten good at this, he thought when feeling the telltale tingling at the base of his spine. He was so close!

He couldn’t help his slow, whiny moan, “Katnisss… fuuuuck!” His eyes squeezed shut, his hands grabbed onto some surface he’d knocked his ass against when he started coming into Katniss’ gloriously wet mouth.

It wasn't until the door opened, that his eyes were able to focus again... on the angry face of Mr. Everdeen as he took in the sight of his daughter’s full mouth.

“What the fuck is this?!” The man slurred loudly.

Katniss scrambled to her feet, somehow blocking her father from seeing Peeta tuck himself back into his pants. But nothing prevented the man from watching his daughter wipe the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand.

It only took the man a surprising two steps to cross the garage and reach his child. He was about to grab her upper arm when Peeta pushed her behind his broader frame.

“I can explain!” Peeta shouted fanning out his arms to shield the girl.

“You can explain? What, how the two of you stabbed me and everyone else in the back by sneaking around like this?” Mr. Everdeen’s bloodshot eyes were crazed, spittle flew everywhere out of his mouth. “You can explain you disrespected my home and my daughter by taking advantage of her under my nose?”

“He didn’t take advantage of me!” Katniss protested ducking under Peeta’s outstretched arm to face her father. “I wanted to do it. I brought him out here ‘cause we like each other… a lot!”

Sensing danger, Peeta grabbed Katniss by the waist and shoved her out of the way. “Sir, I swear is not like—”

“You little shit!“ Mr. Everdeen took ahold of the boy’s collar and yanked him away from Katniss.

She leapt forward, scratching at her father’s wrist. “Stop it! Let him go!”

“What’s going on?!” Another man’s voice boomed in the chilly room.

As if the situation wasn’t mortifying enough, everybody spilled out of the house and crowded around the garage’s open door, watching the scene with wide eyes.

Mrs. Everdeen rushed forward to pry her husband’s fingers from Peeta’s crumpled, stretched out shirt.

Mr. Everdeen rounded up on his neighbor and best buddy, “I’ll tell you what’s going on. I caught your back-stabbing son defiling my daughter!”

“What? That is preposterous. Our Peeta is a good boy. He would never do such a thing. It was probably that wild child of yours that threw herself at him.” Said Mrs. Mellark in that condescending tone she liked using even on her own family.

“I beg your pardon?” Mrs. Everdeen dusted her slacks exaggeratedly. “Katniss isn’t wild!”

“It’s that boy of yours! I knew his innocent, helpful, quiet kid next door facade wasn’t to be trusted! He better not had gotten my baby pregnant, or there will be hell to pay!”

“First you’ll have to prove it’s his. I’m more worried my son could’ve contracted something!”

“How dare you insinuate—“

“Enough!” Bellowed uncle Haymitch, whom usually had his moments of deep wisdom when really inebriated. “Y’all are acting like a bunch of morons! All you’re accomplishing with this yellin’ is making your kids even dumber than they already are.”

Ouch!

Everyone stopped bickering at once, looking rightly shamed and partly stunned by Haymitch’s outburst.

“Now, there ain’t enough booze in this house to make freezing my ass out here, worth watching y’all bitch over two fucking 18 year old college students who’ve been glued at the hip since I can remember, doing the horizontal lambada together.”

Nobody argued, so Haymitch continued.

“I’m not saying what the Boy and Sweetheart did was smart, it was in fact pretty stupid. But you too did dumb shit as horny teenagers,” Haymitch glared a both sets of parents, now blushing. “Give the kids credit, they’re legally adults. You’re blind if you haven’t noticed them making puppy-dog eyes at each other. Is sickening!

“I’m starving, and it’s too cold for this shit!” Haymitch burped, “I’m going inside now.”

Peeta and Katniss were wrapped around each other during the hullabaloo. But slowly loosen their hold to face their family.

“I’m not… pregnant.” Katniss squeaked. “Not even a small chance.”

“Neither of us has any diseases.” Muttered Peeta scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably. “Not much chance for that either.”

“How can you be so sure?” Mr. Everdeen snapped, still not ready to let his anger go.

“What are you using for birth control? You can’t depend on condoms alone,” Declared Mrs. Everdeen.

“Mom!” Exclaimed Katniss scowling, “Geez! We are not actually doing it! What Daddy walked in on— and believe me, I wish he’d never seen that— is as far as we’ve gone.”

She peered up at Peeta and he smiled down at her, squeezing her hand in his.

“Look,” Peeta exhaled and then faced their parents. “We are sorry we didn’t say anything before, but we knew you guys would react… exactly like you did. We can assure you, nobody has anything to worry about. But just to put your minds at ease...” He took a decidedly shaky, deep breath and confessed, “We are still… virgins.”

“TMI, dude! Nobody needed to know that!” Called Peeta’s middle brother. His girlfriend’s bulging eyes followed the shit show with interest.

Peeta threw his brother a withering glare, but it was Katniss’ fourteen year old sister, Primrose, who answered.

“Oh please! Why the Hellman’s real mayonnaise are you here then, Rye?! You didn’t protest our parents belittling Katniss and Peeta in front of everyone, when Daddy interrupted their private moment! Grow up!” The teen crossed her arms over her chest petulantly.

Maybe Prim felt a tad jealous and kinda out of sorts seeing her secret crush’s girlfriend at her house, but nobody messed with her sister and brother-in-law on her watch! The thought made Prim looked guiltily at her parents; but then she remembered how they’d been screaming, blowing things out of proportion, and felt smuggly vindicated. She could still hold a couple of secrets for her sister without blabbing.

“Everyone should be happy Katniss and Peeta are together. They love each other and will keep each other safe! Uncle Haymitch’s right, you guys are just selfish.” Primrose turned on her heels so fast heading for the kitchen, her long, blond braid smacked Rye on the chest with a dull thud.

Mr. Everdeen sighed. “I’m still angry with you both. And I still think you were disrespectful. But I guess Prim’s right. We’re lucky Katniss is not bringing home some lazy hooligan with a criminal record. I just wished…”

“I know, Daddy.” Soothed Katniss still holding Peeta’s hand. “I’m sorry. We both are.”

“We, all are.” Said Mrs. Everdeen sidling with her husband. Then she turned to the Mellarks, “I think we all owe the kids an apology. And each other.”

Everyone apologized for the things they said and promised to be more supportive and less reactionary, despite still being disappointed Katniss and Peeta hid their relationship from them.

“Well, that was terrifying.” Peeta whispered shuddering when their families finally left them alone.

Katniss chuckled. “I know. I wonder if we should’ve told them this all started ‘cause we got shit-faced and eloped two weeks ago?”

Peeta smiled wryly, wrapping an arm around his “for-now” wife. “Nah. My mom would’ve gotten an aneurysm. She’d probably drag us to the hospital to get tested for STDS, pregnancies and DNA. In that order.”

“Yeah but, they would’ve calmed down when we told them we were getting an annulment.” Katniss said a little unsure.

“About that…” Peeta trailed off catching Katniss’ curious eyes peering up at him from his chest. “What if… we just kept… married?”

Katniss bobbed her head, although there was nothing to consider, really. “We could apply for housing together.” She offered.

“Share expenses.”

“Go further... than oral?” The question came out high pitched and ragged.

Peeta breathed out a sigh of relief, he wasn’t the only one thinking about it.

He nodded readily. “Together?” He bit his lip, and pulled a black pouch out of his pants pocket. A ring with an iridescent pearl on top spilled into his open palm.

Katniss’ eyes widened, but she lifted her left hand, spreading her fingers apart so Peeta could slip the ring in place.

Admiring her new jewelry, Katniss smiled.

“Together!” She confirmed rising on tiptoes to kiss her “for-Always” husband in the lips.

[thedcdunce]

Robin

“I'm not like Tim, or Jason, or even Dick. I'm light-years ahead of all the past Robins in skill and training. I'm either your partner in this or I'm not.” - Robin

Real Name: Damian Wayne

Aliases:

Batman

Damian al Ghul

Demon's Son

Garth

Gray Son of Gotham

Hafid al Ghul

Ibn al Xu'ffasch

Knute Broody Junior

Redbird

Gender: Male

Height: 4′ 6″

Weight: 84 lbs (38 kg)

Eyes: Green

Hair: Black

Abilities:

Archery

Artistry

Business Management

Disguise

Driving

Martial Arts

Genius Level Intellect

Investigation

Intimidation

Medical Science

Music

Peak Human Condition

Pedagogy

Stealth

Swordsmanship

Throwing

Weaknesses:

Arrogance 

Universe: Prime Earth

Base of Operations:

Gotham City

Mercy Hall, New York City

Titans Tower, San Francisco

Citizenship: American

Parents: 

Bruce Wayne; father

Talia al Ghul; mother

Marital Status: Single

Occupation:

Vigilante

Adventurer

Student

First Appearance: Batman and Robin Vol 2 #1 (November, 2011)

Abilities

Archery

Artistry: Damian is considered as skilled with a brush as he is with a sword.

Business Management: Trained by his mother and the League of Assassins in the way of controlling a company with an iron grip. Even as a young boy he knows that in business there are wars and even in war there are assassins. Damian is involved with the Wayne Enterprises' board members. He even intimidated the board members by tracking down financial irregularities within the Wayne Enterprises' accounts.

Disguise: Damian has disguised himself as an elderly bus driver and a substitute teacher.

Driving: He learned to drive at the age of five.

Martial Arts: Trained by the League of Assassins. Damian may not be physically tough but he knows how to control his weight and has stated that he knows, "one thousand ways to kill a man." Damian's training has made him a formidable hand-to-hand combatant able to defeat or hold his own against multiple opponents, armed opponents or skilled hand-to-hand combatants.

Genius Level Intellect: Damian has inherited a genius IQ from his father.

Investigation: Damian, having been trained under the "World's Greatest Detective", has been able to deduce people's actions as well as solve mysteries with few amounts of data.

Intimidation

Medical Science

Music

Peak Human Condition

Pedagogy

Stealth: Damian was able to sneak into Gotham City and furthermore into the Batcave virtually undetected until he felt necessary. Of all the Robins, Damian may be the one that is the most silent.

Swordsmanship: Although Damian no longer uses his sword he may be unmatched with one if armed correctly.

Throwing: Damian is trained by the League of Assassins in shuriken throwing and further trained by Batman in Batarang throwing.

Weaknesses

Arrogance: More often than not, Damian believes himself to be better than he is, this has allowed him to underestimate opponents as well as irritate his allies.

History

Damian Wayne is the son of Batman and Talia al Ghul. This makes him an heir to the world's greatest crime-fighter, and its greatest super-villain Ra's al Ghul. Damian became the fifth Robin, working alongside his father as Batman.

Origins

Damian Wayne is the son of Batman and Talia al Ghul. Raised by Talia and trained by the League of Assassins, Damian became a skilled assassin by an early age. Coupled by his innate talent for the art and his lineage, Damian became a respected member of the League. Eventually, when Damian finally met his father, Batman, Damian defected and joined his father's cause. Batman granted Damian the mantle of Robin,and Damian became his father's latest crime-fighting partner.

After Bruce's death in the Final Crisis, his first protégé Dick Grayson took over the mantle of Batman and Damian became his Robin. Alongside Grayson, Damian faced new threats such as Doctor Hurt, Professor Pyg and Flamingo.

Born to Kill

After his father's resurrection, Bruce and Damian began patrolling together as Batman and Robin. Bruce tried teaching Damian, still a cold-hearted assassin, about the sanctity of life, but had trouble relating with his son. Damian began showing restraint, which Bruce commended, although Alfred still criticized him for not being supportive enough. Bruce bought Damian a dog named Titus. They were both targeted by a super-villain named Nobody. They were kidnapped by Nobody, who tried to show Batman that his no-kill methods were ineffective. He encouraged Robin's darker side and tried to take him as an apprentice. Robin angrily left the Batcave to work with Nobody, who asked him to execute a criminal. Robin revealed that he was lying, and refused to betray his father. Nobody decided to torture Robin, continuing his personal vendetta against Batman. When Batman discovered their location, he beat Nobody mercilessly and came close to killing him, but stopped when he realized Damian was watching the fight. Nobody swore that he would return and kill their friends, so Damian killed him with a move Nobody had taught him. Though deeply shaken by the killing, Bruce reacted with compassion rather than anger. When Damian regained consciousness, they talked about how difficult it is for Damian to adjust from the life of an assassin. Despite their differences, they played ball with Titus and began to enjoy spending more time together as father and son.

Batman Incorporated

Batman and Robin began working together against Damian's mother Talia al Ghul, revealed as the head of Leviathan. During a fight in a meat factory, Damian converted to vegetarianism and adopted a pet cow who he named Bat-Cow. He was believed dead when he was shot in the head by an assassin named Goatboy. It was revealed that Talia had created another clone as his replacement, the obedient fully-grown Heretic. Robin was shown to have faked his death, and is confined to the Batcave at Batman's orders. To avoid the bounty Talia placed on his head, he began using the name Redbird and switched to a new costume. This allowed him to team up with Jason Todd, who was using the Wingman identity. They worked together with Batman Incorporated to take down the League of Assassins' top killers. However, Batman told Damian he had to quit crime-fighting altogether. Bruce revealed that he has seen Damian's future, as told through "Batman in Bethlehem". If Damian did not retire, his actions would lead to a plague that would force the President to nuke Gotham. Batman Incorporated fought Leviathan in the streets, while Damian was forced to stay inside. Alfred Pennyworth got him a cat to take care of, who he also named Alfred. Damian refused to stay home while his allies were dying, and Alfred allowed him to leave knowing he could not be stopped. He flew his exo-skeleton into the center of the battle, where Leviathan had taken over Wayne Tower. He neutralized the child soldiers, and teamed up with Dick Grayson to take down the remaining assassins. The Heretic flew Grayson aside, and challenged Damian to a sword-fight. Despite his bravery and refusal to give up, Damian was impaled through the chest and killed.

Resurrection

After various trials and tribulations involving his corpse, mainly revolving around Ra's al Ghul and Apokolips, Batman managed to rescue his son's body and, through using the Omega Sanction infused within a Chaos Crystal shard, brought Damian back to life within the Batcave.

Teen Titans

On his 13th birthday Damian was sent a package by his grandfather Ra's al Ghul, which contained a dead robin. After meeting with his mother Talia, he discovered that it was a warning from his cousin Mara al Ghul, who had chosen him as her prey as part of an initiation ritual she must undertake in order to properly join the League of Assassins. Mara had been made leader of a group known as the Demon's Fist, which was originally supposed to be led by Damian but became hers when he chose to leave the League. They too had chosen targets that they must hunt down in order to ascend to the League. Damian decided to collect the other Demon's Fist members' targets in order to form the new Teen Titans; comprised of Starfire, Beast Boy, Raven and Kid Flash.

In the Name of the Father

While searching for a tree for Christmas, Jonathan Samuel Kent accidentally torched some woodlands near a swamp in Hamilton. He was subsequently rescued by Maya Ducard, the daughter of the villain Nobody, and Damian's pet dragon-bat Goliath. Jon later awakened in the Batcave and found out that Robin had been keeping him under surveillance for a long time. The two initially did not get along, and the situation was further complicated when Batman and Superman arrived, blaming each other for the conflict.

The ensuing melee was abruptly averted when Jon used his Freeze Breath to separate the two sides and allow him to explain the situation to his father. While their fathers were discussing the lab tests that Damian had performed on Jon, the two boys went off to look at Damian's pets. However, due to Damian's snide remarks and goading, Jon lost his temper and another brawl broke out between them. This was also put down quickly as Batman and Superman looked down on them in furious silence.

In order to properly discipline their sons and teach them the value of working together, Superman and Batman had them undergo a series of challenges. However their lack of teamwork and animosity toward each other caused them to fail every challenge. The boys finally managed to put aside their differences and worked together in order to save their fathers from an apparent threat in the Batcave, but this later turns out to be a ruse. At this point, Alfred declared them to be the Super Sons.

Super Sons Vs. Kid Amazo

Jonathan was paid a visit by Robin, posing as both his school's bus driver and his substitute teacher. He was later unwillingly recruited by Damian to help him investigate a series of break-ins at LexCorp. This misadventure was further complicated with the appearance of Lex Luthor, who tried to capture them both. The two boys managed to escape Luthor and followed a lead to a home in Providence, Rhode Island, where they encountered a family who still retained their powers from the Amazo Virus. However, one member by the name of Reggie Meyer was driven insane by the excessive use of his powers and took the alias of Kid Amazo. He had also stolen the Amazo Armor from LexCorp and had planned to use it and the abilities of the Super Sons to lure the Justice League into a trap. Thanks to the arrival of Lex Luthor and aid from Reggie's super-powered sister Sara, Kid Amazo was taken down. Not wanting to explain themselves, Robin and Superboy quickly left the area and headed back to Hamilton. However, their absences from their respective homes did not go unnoticed as they encountered both Lois Lane and Alfred Pennyworth while trying to sneak into Jon's home.

The boys were subsequently punished by their respective parents. Batman forbade Robin to go crime-fighting for a week while Superboy was forced to do his chores without using his superpowers. With the prospect of moving to Metropolis on his mind, Jon eventually ran off and headed to Gotham to speak with Damian in the Batcave. This resulted in another argument and a short fight, before Alfred arrived. They were later joined by Batman and Superman, and worked out their differences. With Superman's and Batman's permission, the two boys would be allowed to go on their own, provided that they would do so together.

Dark Knights: Metal

Damian aided in fighting the Dark Knights upon their invasion, forming the Gotham Resistance with Green Arrow, Killer Croc, Nightwing and Harley Quinn. They lost Croc, the Teen Titans and the Suicide Squad, but they defeated Mister Freeze, Riddler and Damian's evil Earth -22 self and made the discovery that beings from the Dark Multiverse can be killed by Nth Metal.

Fun Facts

Damian has declared himself a vegetarian.

Damian has a strong love for animals. Pets he has owned include Goliath, Bat-Cow, Titus, and Alfred.

[gascon-en-exil]

So Who’s the Queen?: A Chess of Blades Review (Part 2)

Part 1

With the general overview out of the way it’s time to jump into a critique of the real substance of this game: the four men who can fall in love with Rivian and turn him into the champion bottom he was always destined to be. As with last time I’ll be avoiding major plot spoilers but will spare no detail when I turn my discriminating eye toward the game’s scenes of sweet, tender lovemaking...or raw, kinky fucking, whatever floats your boat. Some of them could go either way.

Fun fact: my silly subtitle for the sex scenes comes from a Japanese expression jokingly proposed as an alternative source for the word yaoi. I thought it only appropriate given what I’m judging here.

Arden

It took some effort for me to ignore that this guy shares his name with the least fuckable bachelor of Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War, but eventually I managed. It helps that the two have nothing else in common, up to and including preference of sexual partners.

Arden is the best friend romance of CoB, the only one with whom Rivian has an established history. Thinking back to the similarly positioned Ian in Coming Out on Top, this is a visual novel character type that presents a unique challenge for the writer(s) in that there has to a be an explanation for why the two of them don’t shack up until the events of the game. I rather like CoB’s reasoning for this, as it’s one that plays into both Arden and Rivian’s insecurities and explains why Rivian is so prickly to a supposed close friend during the shared prologue. Arden is clingy and overly expectant, and the game allows this to feel off-putting even partway through his route (which is shared with the “secret” fourth love interest, in a scenario where Rivian decides that he and Arden have grown into such different people that reconciliation is impossible). This is an unusual but not unwelcome way to lead into what is undoubtedly the fluffiest of the romances, in which Arden has to be open about his self-conscious reservations and Rivian has to be willing to forgive. Arden’s protectiveness of Rivian also becomes less grating as the route goes on and the two start to face genuine danger, and as Rivian points out that kind of dedication is actually quite sweet when it’s wanted. The only really awkward thing about the construction of Arden’s route is that, because most of their relationship drama comes from the fallout of their youthful infatuation, it has very little to do with the main plot of a kidnapped little girl. It is at least the most morally straightforward of the routes, one that brings out both Arden’s loyalty to Rivian and to his kingdom (even though he is a bit dense about it, in the tradition of most lawful good paladin-esque type characters) and Rivian’s buried affection for his family. Like I said, it’s pretty fluffy on the whole.

The “Ow, my ass!” rating: Mild. As might be expected Arden’s sex scene is the most vanilla in the game, which is fitting because 1) it matches the more innocent passion of a childhood romance gone horizontal(ish), and because 2) Arden is also a virgin somehow, despite having spent several years in a military environment in a setting where no one cares if guys hook up with each other. There’s no lube, but I can excuse it because Arden both fingers and rims Rivian beforehand. More significantly, Rivian rides Arden’s cock which is not only the most active he ever is in a sex scene but also a great position for the inexperienced to get accustomed to the feeling of taking a dick. Don’t get the impression that this means that Rivian is taking a dominant role, however; the term “power bottom” is more about attitude than positioning, and Rivian is still very much lacking in that department. Also, they have sex on a chair and I have no idea why, since there’s a perfectly serviceable bed in the same room. I like to be able to hold onto my partner’s shoulders when I’m riding him to help keep my balance, but I don’t think that’s worth having to angle myself around the arms. Kind of a toss-up there.

Franz

According to the developer notes in the artbook Franz was the first of the love interests to be designed, and they had a specific exotic flavor in mind that in practice feels very much like how I think Anglos see Continentals collectively. German first name and French family name aside, I get a more Iberian feeling from him personally. Maybe it’s the thing about his country being known for chocolates, or maybe the (very late in coming) self-flagellation...not literal, mind you.

Even leaving aside his real world cultural inspirations, Franz is very much the aggressive rogue type of love interest, the “perverted foreigner” as Rivian describes him more than once who introduces himself by grabbing Rivian on his balcony and practically dry humping him while dropping some foreshadowing regarding the plot. The above image is a comparatively benign moment early on in Franz’s route proper, but it goes to show just how casually grabby the guy is and how Rivian is essentially forced to get used to it. That may be unsettling for some players, but I happen to like a man assertive enough to go for what he wants - although the fact that Franz is vastly hotter and wealthier than many of the men who’ve groped me certainly plays a role there too. In any case the plot of his route - that of the murder of an ambassador in which Franz is curiously interested -  plays into the idea of him as a man of mystery gradually revealed to be driven by something other than sensual indulgence, and getting his good ending requires that Rivian learn to trust and care about Franz even as he’s not at all forthcoming about his identity or motivations up until the very end. Franz’s route is unique in that his sex scene appears before the determination of whether or not you’ll get his good ending and even before certain major revelations are made regarding his character. This suits his roguish appeal just fine, even though the scene itself is kind of...well, see below. Honestly Franz is probably my favorite of the love interests by a narrow margin; he’s rich, hot, aggressive, and shown to be very open-minded about kinks while also capable of genuinely affectionate moments. That’s a rare combination and prime wish fulfillment fodder.

The “Ow, my ass!” rating: Uncomfortably high, sad to say. Props to the guy for being suave enough to lead Rivian through a masquerade ball one minute and then drag him into a storage closet to fuck his brains out the next, but it’s a massive understatement when he assures Rivian that he won’t be gentle. Franz fucks Rivian’s mouth on a cold stone floor and then only takes the time to briefly finger him with spit before impaling the boy. You really have to be into the controlling top persona to enjoy his scene, particularly as there’s little to no (onscreen) aftercare. I was also left feeling disappointed at how conventional Franz’s sex scene felt, after he’d previously teased Rivian about wanting to collar him - he calls him “kitten” throughout their interactions - and enjoying the sight of a cross-dressing Rivian. I definitely enjoy the idea that Franz is into both pet play and feminization, but it turns out to be a case of telling and not showing. At least Franz retains most of his Dom demeanor up through his epilogue, as I would have really rolled my eyes if his kinky tendencies mysteriously vanished after he and Rivian made their big romantic confessions.

Linnaeus

I’m still not sure how I feel about Linnaeus. Part of this is that I’m missing out on the reference; developer notes make it clear that his appearance and personality were modeled after those of characters in the Ace Attorney series, which I’ve never played. I can at least acknowledge the allusion found in his narrative, which reaches its (non-sexual) climax not with a violent confrontation in a mysterious setting as in the other routes but with a courtroom trial. The Steam achievement for winning the trial is even called “Rivian Wright,” at that.

More than that however Linnaeus is a man whose appeal as a love interest exists (in my opinion) on a less visceral or emotional level than the others’. Archetypically speaking he’s the defrosting tsundere who initially seems to not like Rivian very much at all and only gradually comes to enjoy his company after they’ve been thrown together by apparent coincidence in the case of a foreign duchess’s stolen diamonds. Linnaeus is a haughty intellectual and very much a sadist both in and out of bed, but later explorations of his character add depth to his talents as the king’s inquisitor and zeal for bringing criminals - especially the members of the anarchistic Disciples of Ignatius - to justice. Throw in some friction with an estranged cousin who also wants to woo Rivian and might want Linnaeus’s job as well as some earnestly romantic gestures masked by smart-assery and in one case a literal mask and there’s definitely material here for a satisfying romance. There’s some hiccups - the trial is not difficult at all to win, and there’s an optional tarot card reading scene that adds nothing to the route but unneeded foreshadowing and feels out of place besides - but it’s by no means a bad story. Maybe Linnaeus just likes to screw with Rivian too much for my taste, or maybe I’m just not into tsundere types.

The “Ow, my ass!” rating: Of a reasonable threshold, but that doesn’t mean I really care for it. Linnaeus’s sex scene involves edging, begging, and light bondage, three things that I tend to find more annoying than sexy in my own encounters. I do like that he’s a kinky guy and that the game is more willing to show that than it is with Franz, and I also like that Linnaeus comes prepared not just with rope but with lube (finally!). This is more my personal taste than anything, as objectively there’s nothing illogical or inaccurate about their encounter. No doubt their future liaisons become even more maddening, as in the epilogue Linnaeus remarks that he has “instruments” he enjoys using on Rivian. That’s just...not my preferred type of Dom, I suppose? Additionally, for whatever it’s worth Linnaeus’s naughty bits are not visible in either of his erotic CGs due to angling and his fondness for humiliation, which is kind of a letdown.

And no, Rivian never gets to yell “Objection!” during this route. Another missed opportunity, Chess of Blades.

Sabre

Sabre is the guy on the left. The one on the right is Kieran - keep him in mind for later.

This is the secret love interest. His route branches off from Arden’s and cannot be accessed until you’ve completed Arden’s route once. There’s a good narrative reason for this, and on the surface Sabre seems like a great option for a bonus romance. He’s got tons of raw sex appeal, a unique role in the story, and a social status that separates him from Rivian and the other love interests, such that while the other three are each likened to a chess piece protecting Rivian as the king Sabre’s route is more akin to upending the board entirely. Rivian falls in love with a common brawler, ultimately opting to leave the treacherous games of the court behind him. There are two very large problems with this route though:

1) Sabre has the worst voice acting of any of the characters without question. He’s got the accent problem I brought up last time, in his case doubly so because he affects a thick Scottish brogue for his fighting persona which contrasts against his uncharacteristically refined normal voice, but whether due to the VA or the audio recording equipment his volume modulation is also highly erratic. Most of his lines are either screamed so loudly I was tempted to remove my headphones or are so quiet that they’re barely audible, especially at the end of some lines where he just trails off into near-silence. There is very little middle ground, and the combined effect is extremely distracting. It doesn’t help either that Sabre is lumped in with the supporting cast in the volume settings unlike Rivian and the other love interests whose voices can be adjusted individually, so muting him will mute everyone else.

2) Then there’s Kieran, who represents a more complicated issue with Sabre’s route. The two are introduced as close friends and sparring partners who share a healthy rivalry, and even though the romantic focus of the route remains on the developing relationship between Rivian and Sabre Kieran gets in some flirty banter of his own with Rivian and makes it clear that he wouldn’t turn down the nobleman’s admiration. Somewhat shockingly, this actually does culminate in a threesome, even though it’s staged more like the way some straight guys talk about M/M/F threesomes wherein the two men (tops in this case) have their way with the woman while having minimal interaction with each other. As someone who’s engaged in my fair share of threeways with two tops I don’t necessarily object to this arrangement, and in fact I like that it continues to play up the sense of rivalry between Sabre and Kieran. What I don’t like is that after they’ve had sex and Rivian has bid farewell to both of them the epilogue drops Kieran entirely. He’s not mentioned or referenced at all, and everything comes back to Rivian and Sabre rekindling their relationship a year later under noticeably more conventional circumstances. Perhaps a true poly relationship is beyond the capabilities of a visual novel with romance routes like this, but it would have been a welcome addition to the ending if it was mentioned that the two of them get visits from Kieran from time to time and that they’re all working it out. As it stands Kieran just feels like eye candy and a tool for Sabre’s development, which is a real shame since he’s an affable character in his own right (and more competently voiced, that’s for sure - funnily enough by Franz’s VA, using what sounds more like his natural voice).

Combined these two problems really limit how well this route lives up to its potential, but I found that I could grit my teeth through Sabre’s performance and use some creative license in the ending to get around its shortcomings. It definitely feels less well constructed than the three main routes, but as an alternative to Arden’s storyline it adds a fair bit. But then....

The “Ow, my ass!” rating: Off the charts - Rivian should be dead after this sex scene. True, they use lube and Kieran eats him out first, and spit roasting is a common and reasonable practice in a two tops/one bottom arrangement, but then there’s the double penetration. Allow me to remind you that Rivian is a virgin and has apparently never stretched his hole before this encounter, and yet somehow he’s able to take two well-endowed men simultaneously. I’m not buying it, and even worse the position he’s in - sandwiched between two hulking men twice his size as they drill into him from above and below - makes me wonder that he’s more likely to die of suffocation than rectal hemorrhaging. There’s a moment during the narrative climax where Kieran bear hugs a man almost to unconsciousness, so the writers clearly must have known it was a possibility - but nope, the delicate noble boy somehow survives taking two dicks at once while being smashed between two mountains of muscle. Oh, and did I mention that said mountains of muscle have no refractory periods? They both cum from the spit roasting, and then immediately Sabre is hard again and raring to shove his way into Rivian’s poor overtaxed hole alongside Kieran. Rivian’s inner monologue lampshades this downright inhuman stamina, but that doesn’t excuse it when you take everything else that’s off about this scene. I fully understand that this is a wildly hot fantasy for anyone into beefy guys, but more than anything else in CoB this sex scene is decidedly not something to try at home. 

In conclusion...

Arden is sweet, Franz is hot and surprisingly romantic, Sabre comes with issues (and Kieran) but is undoubtedly sexy, and Linnaeus is...something. Good selection on the whole but too bad about Rivian’s hole.

[offshore-defxxx]

Part One

The Lebron James of Beer Pong

“Ughhhhh, I hate going out. It’s so much work!” Your friend says as she looks in the mirror and pulls off yet another top she didn’t like.

“Isn’t this a house party that Jaebeom’s friend is throwing? Plus, house parties are fun. It’ll be a good time.” You say from the bathroom while you’re curling your hair. You were in town visiting your best friend Diana. You’ve known each other since high school but were complete opposites.

She’s ambition and tough. Graduated college two years early and had successfully launched a booming jewelry business. Set to go international within the year so she said. She was only a year older than you at 23.

You, on the other hand, is a 5th year senior at a well-known university in the south. And the only reason you’re a 5th year senior is because you decided last semester to pick up a double major in biology AND computer science because “it was only another 7 credits anyway”. At least. that’s what you talked yourself into believing. But you enjoy being in college. You especially enjoy beer pong at house parties.

You glance at your phone and saw the time.

“Hey Di, let’s do another shot!”

As if she read your mind Diana is already walking into the bathroom with a bottle of Captain and her shot glass.

“Cheers! I hope you get laid tonight.” Diana fills your glass to the rim with the dark liquor as you cringe, but you down it like a champ and chase with the beer you’ve been babysitting since you started getting ready.

Your last relationship ended bitterly, and you swore up and down that you will never - ever - date a man again. They’re all the same. Useless and nothing but grown babies. The only thing they were good for is sex. Which, by your count had been almost 6 months since the last time you had any.

Diana is in a happy relationship with some r&b music producer she met at a coffee shop while in college. She loves to tell the story of how they met because it sounds like what happens in the movies. Not that you blame her. Her and Jaebeom had to be what every girl wishes their relationship would be. Considering the way Jaebeom looks and Diana’s uncharacteristically positive attitude since they’ve been together tells you the dick is good. Which is yet another facet of your lives that contrast with each other, but Diana deserves to be loved the way Jaebeom loves her.

You could feel the warmth of the liquor course through your body and you’re happy to see the Asian flush hasn’t reared its ugly head as you look in the mirror. You finish curling your hair as  Diana calls you out to leave. You both down another shot before heading out. Her cheers earlier in the night echo in the back of your mind.

“So Jaebeom said a lot of his friends from the industry will be there tonight so if you see anyone you’re interested in let me know! I’ll get him to introduce you.”

“Of course. You know how I like my men, a pretty face with a broken soul. The basic make up of every starving artist and musician.” You say sarcastically as Diana rolls her eyes.

“Thank god we don’t have the same taste in men, but I really do wish you’d quit trying to ‘save’ people. It pisses me off every time I see you throw your entire being into someone’s life knowing it’s going to go nowhere.” Diana says something like this every time we talk about relationships. And in typical Diana manner, she’s usually right.

“Can’t help it man. Everybody needs love. Some just need a little work is all.” You flash her a chastising grin. Another point that the two of you are never on the same page on.

The sound of a heavy bassline fills the air along with the chirping of crickets lets you know you have arrived. The neighborhood street is packed with cars and people are teeming outside. Diana hooks arms with you and pulls you toward the back of the house.

“Diana!!!” A handsome guy shouts as you two round the corner. “Jackson!! Hey!” He gives her a big ol bear hug and picks her up. You know those are her favorite kind of hugs.

“It’s so good to see you! You look great!”

“Thank you! You know what I always say, take care of your health, both physically and mentally. Have you been drinking the organic tea I got you guys last time? And who is this beautiful woman you brought with you?”

You blush at his sudden compliment.

“Ah! This is my best friend from high school! Amy! She’s visiting for the weekend.”

Jackson very obviously checks you out and you could feel your cheeks getting red. Guess you didn’t need any alcohol to do it for you.

“Hi.” You awkwardly stick your hand out not knowing what else to do.

Jackson looks at your hand amusingly and opens his arms wide and gives you a cute tight-lipped smile.

“Amyyyy, a best friend of Diana and Jaebeom is a best friend of mine. Come here.” He closes the distance between you two and picks you up in the same marvelous bear hug he gave Diana. His warm embrace felt incredibly comfortable but strong. Maybe it’s because you haven’t had any physical contact with a man since your break up, but Jackson’s innocent gesture makes you feel very aware of yourself.

“Speaking of Jaebeom, where is he? He stopped replying to my texts like an hour ago.” Diana pursed her lip as she checks her phone.

Jackson lets you go much to your dismay. “He’s inside! Probably by the DJ. You know Jaebeom, he can’t stay away from music. Unless it comes to you of course.”

You find it amusing watching Jackson and Diana interact. He must always be this charming considering Diana is hardly the friendly type. The only reason the two of you became friends is because your mom forced her to be friends with you in your freshmen year of high school and her sense of responsibility got the best of her. You make a mental note to ask Diana about Jackson later when he wasn’t around.

Jackson leads you both to where Jaebeom is and you’re surprised by how many people are inside. This is nothing like the house parties you have been to back at the Hill. Diana grabs your hand as she spots Jaebeom and you both head to the DJ booth.

“Hey babe.” Diana lets you go as Jaebeom wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close for a kiss. It was disgusting how happy they were together. You literally felt like you were going to vomit.

Diana pulls back briefly, “Jaebeom, Amy here needs to get laid tonight. Do you have any potential suitors in mind? No criminal history, no assholes, no guys with girlfriends.”

He looks up as if he’s reading through a list of people in his mind. The bass was loud but melodic and you could feel each beat vibrate through your body.

After a bit of contemplation, Jaebeom replies, “Ah, I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head, but definitely stay away from Jackson.” He throws a sideways glance at Diana and she laughs.

“What? Why? We ran into him on the way in. He seems really friendly!” You question looking at Jaebeom and your friend.

“That’s EXACTLY why. He’s always to friendly plus -” Diana swats at Jaebeom playfully and laughs again “What? It’s true! You saw how friendly he was with Diana right? Brothers or not, even I get a little jealous when he acts that way.” At this point Diana is bent over laughing. I’m not sure if Jaebeom knew just how head over heels in love Diana is with him. There’s no way she would ever consider anyone but him. But you just smile and promise you won’t even look at Jackson. Feeling a little more like a third wheel than you want to you excuse yourself to get a drink.

You walk purposefully through the throngs of people making sure to throw a glance at every cute guy you see just in case.

You recognize a few people as friends of Diana from photos she’s posted on Facebook and Instagram. A guy your recognize as Bambam was engaged in what must be a super interesting conversation with a taller attractive looking guy and a couple of girls. Bambam works at the coffee shop where Jaebeom and Diana met. He also apparently owns said coffee shop. Leave it to Diana to make friends with the shop owner you thought to yourself.

You finally reach the outdoor mini bar and help yourself to a beer. You easily uncap it with your hand. A trick you learned from one to many shotgun challenges in college. The chill beer and the breeze in the air felt perfect. You hated the heat and the Midwest provided a much-needed reprieve from the humidity that plagues the south. The only thing that could make this night better would be –

“Hey! Will you be my beer pong partner?! Please?”

You are staring into the eyes of the most beautiful stranger you have ever seen. No, in the world.

He waves the ping pong ball in his hand in front of him. You realize this dazzling human being is talking to you. Use your words! The voice in your head tells you. 

“Oh, beer pong? Yeah! I’m great at beer pong!” You mentally pat yourself on the back at how normal you thought you sound. Still not believing that this walking, breathing, talking, angel on earth is asking YOU to be his beer pong partner. You pinch yourself behind your elbow to make sure you aren’t dreaming.

“Ouch.”

“Are you okay? Sorry, did I step on you?” The angel creature was speaking. Okay, not a dream.

“Yeah! No. Sorry. I’m fine. You can step on me. err, I mean, no you didn’t step on me.” You let out an awkward laugh. Idiot.

He lets out a light chuckle. Or perhaps baby angels were singing. You weren’t quite sure.

“I’m Taehyung by the way. But everyone calls me Tae. Thanks for agreeing to be my partner.” He smiles down at you with the most beautiful rectangular smile you have ever seen. You curse your mouth for having teeth that were not worthy.

Again, words. You thought to yourself. Though, you were sure the little voice in your head is actually Diana. The little voice was right.

 “Amy. Just Amy. Not short for anything.” Okay, maybe better words but it’s a start.

 “Amy, nice to meet you.” Tae laughs again. You make a mental note to call your mom later to thank her for talking your dad out of naming you Jack because your name has never sounded so beautiful before.

 You both walk up to the beer pong table to see a game is almost over. You hear Jackson before you see him.

 “KOBE!” He does a little hop and flicks the ping pong ball toward the solo red cup and it goes in without touching the rim. The people watching the game erupt in yelling and start chanting Jackson’s name. He strips off his shirt exposing his extremely toned arms and waves it around his head to celebrate his victory. If you didn’t know any better, you would think that he actually won a real NBA championship with his celebration.

 “He is so cool.” Tae’s soft voice surprises you. You could hear genuine admiration in his voice. You see a soft smile play at his lips and notice he has a small birthmark on the tip of his nose. You wonder if it was possible to be reborn as a birthmark in your next life.

 Jackson spots you mid-celebration and calls out to you.

 “You got next? Are you sure you want to go up against, the KING.” Jackson flexes his arms and strikes a pose.

 “Sorry, ignore him. He was in the junior Olympics for fencing when he was younger and is more competitive than he needs to be.” His partner responds apologetically. You’ve never met him before, but he was also breathtakingly beautiful. You’re not sure what part of the garden of Eden you stumbled into, but you held your breath afraid the tiniest bit of doubt might make it all disappear.

 “He won’t be king for long. I’m ready to redeem myself. Comeback king!” Tae speaks up while your head is still caught in a daze.

 “Yah, V! Did you trick this poor girl into being your partner?” The other man turns to you and shakes his head apologetically.

 “Taehyung here is the WORST beer pong player I have ever seen in my 23 years of life.” Jackson finally has his shirt back on and joins the conversation.

 “Hey now, that’s not true. I have gotten a lot better thanks to playing against you guys.” Tae laughs again but doesn’t deny Jackson’s statement.

 You were keenly aware of just how friendly they all were and felt extremely out of place. Panic must have been showing on your face because Tae put his hand on the small of your back sending fireworks to your cerebellum. You jolt straight up.

 “This is Amy, not short for anything, just Amy. She’s my good luck charm and secret weapon.” Tae says confidently pushing you forward gently. You can feel the blood rush to your face. The zantac you took earlier to prevent the Asian flush was useless against this.

 “She’s the Lebron James of beer pong.” Tae throws a sideways smile at you. Proudly showing you off although you’re not sure where he was getting his information from because you were definitely not the Lebron James of anything.

 “James aint got nothing on Kobe! I didn’t know I’d be seeing you again so soon Amy, once I beat you guys in this round you should give me your number so we can see each other more often.” Jackson flashes you an undeniably charming smile.

 “Hey! She’s my partner. And we’re NOT going to lose.” Tae volleys back. “Come on Amy, let’s show them.” Tae leans forward as does Jackson. The tension is palpable even though you were playing outside. Men and their competitive spirit. You were never one to get so closely involved and yet here you were. You secretly wish Diana would show up like she always does and bail you out, but you knew that wasn’t going to happen.

 “Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!” 

You hear Jackson cry and Tae cheer indicating your team had won the first throw.

 “See what I mean? Good luck charm.” Tae winks at you and casts a sneaky look toward Jackson who is visibly pouting from his loss.

 “Okay! We’ll start!” Tae puts the ping pong ball in front of your lips expectantly. You look at it confused.

 “Blow on it. For good luck.”

 Oh right. You think to yourself. You comply, and Tae takes his shot.

 It goes way over the table almost hitting Jackson in the face. Tae looks mortified and Jackson theatrically falls backward as if he had been suckered punched.

 “Amy, it’s not too late to call it quits! You wouldn’t be the first one. Taehyung hasn’t won a single game all night and no one will partner up with him.” Jackson’s partner says matter of factly.

 You see Tae purse his lips and cross his arms. “I’m getting better okay.” You hear him say under his breath. He is so cute you’d be crazy to not keep playing with him. Besides, even if you two lost you’d still count yourself as a winner in your book for being in such close proximity to what is probably the closest thing to god you’ll ever get.

 You grab another ping pong ball out of the cups in front of you.

 “Don’t worry. Didn’t I tell you I was great at beer pong?” You beam at Tae and your heart swells as you see his face brighten.

 You look across the table at your opponents. Jackson and his partner attempt to distract you with different antics and you can feel the eyes of onlookers as you take a breath. It’s just beer pong you remind yourself. It’s just beer pong. You flick your wrist and the release the ball.

  The people surrounding the table roar as you bounce the ball on the table and land it in a cup. That’s two cups out. Leaving only one left on the table for Jackson’s team. This evens the score for the two teams.

 Tae cheers the loudest and gives you a high five.

 “You’re killing it Amy!!! You didn’t tell me you were LEGENDARY good. When I said you were the Lebron James of beer pong, I said that to chastise Jackson, but I guess I was right!”

 You couldn’t tell anymore if you were blushing or not. The game has been so close, and you were definitely feeling the shots you took before coming. Still, you couldn’t help but feel giddy at Tae’s praise.

 “Jack, Jack! Calm down. Focus Jackson Focus.” Jackson’s partner was coaching him as he makes a spectacle of his stretching. This was the most intense you have seen Jackson all night and knowing you are the cause of it is exciting. Jackson took a couple deep breaths and took aim at your last cup. You and Tae make taunts at Jackson to throw him off. You start rattling off your phone number.

 “5! 5! 5! 2! 3! – “

 “NooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo!!” He misses. And Tae turns to you absolutely glowing.

 “We got this! YOU got this!!!” He grips your shoulders and gives them a quick squeeze. You didn’t realize how tense you are, and you aren’t sure if his touch helped or not. But you are feeling good. Better than good actually, but you didn’t have a word to describe it yet.

 He blows on the ping pong ball before he hands it to you.

 “For good luck.” He smiles his radiant rectangular smile at you that you’ve decided you would die for. Taking the ball in your hand you again face the other end of the table. Never have you felt the weight of your actions weigh so heavily on you before this moment. Over this white plastic ball, in the backyard of a stranger, in a state you’ve only once visited before.

 It’s funny how the world works sometimes, and you half anticipate that the little voice inside your head would say something snarky at this moment the way it always does but nothing comes as you take a deep breath and throw the ball.

 The entire scene seems to slow to a crawl as no one dares to breathe watching the ball float through the air. Jackson looks like he is in the middle of letting out a yell and his partner is mid-jump from anticipation. Tae’s eyes almost look like they are bulging from his face so that he wouldn’t blink as to not miss this moment. The noise around you disappears and all you can hear is the low heavy bassline that fills the air from the music playing from inside the house. The vibrations raise the hair on your skin as you think back to Diana’s cheers at the beginning of the night.

 You watch with the rest of the people outside as your ball hits the rim of the cup threatening to miss. It bounces off on another side of the cup and swirls into the warm beer below.

 All the sounds of the night come rushing back to you.

 The crowd goes batshit wild.

 You made it.

 “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” You scream as loud as you can. At this moment, this is your crowning life’s achievement. Tae grabs you by the shoulders and gives you a hug not letting go. Jackson’s partner humorously consoles him as he is lying face down on the grass.

 “You did it Amy!!!! We won!!!” Tae is absolutely beaming, and his happiness fills you with so much joy you feel bad for wanting to vomit earlier at Diana’s happiness. You two are still standing unbearably close to each other.

 There was a moment of hesitation in Tae’s eyes as you stare at each other smiling. His eyes lock onto your face. You can feel his eyes trace your features making you suddenly aware of all of your flaws. He brings his face closer to yours as you stop breathing. You’re 99% sure you’re going to die from lack of oxygen with how your night has been going but you beg yourself to stay alive for whatever happens next.

 His lips brush yours and immediately you feel a rush coursing through your body. You feel more intoxicated than you were moments before and hunger for his touch. The gentle pressure of his lips on top of yours is ecstasy and if you could wish any moment from tonight would never end it would be this one. Your lips parted letting in the crisp night air and your lungs fill with oxygen you desperately need. Tae pulls back from you only slightly to search your face for a reaction.

 Assuming you didn’t look as dumb as you feel with his gaze on you he smiles softly and pulls your head to his chest in a warm embrace. Your skin is on fire and you feel like melting. You hate feeling so hot, but you would rather physically set yourself on fire than let go of Tae.

  Diana spots you two from the mini bar outside and her lips curl into a mischievous smile. Oh, she is going to have fun with this.