#that is a given idc what has to happen to make that reality

[kethabali]

i cant stop thinking about his lips and his eyes and his cheeks and how he smiles and how he stands and how he walks and how he looks at me his eyes oh his eyes he has the prettiest motherfucking eyes i have ever seen in my goddamn life

[lovelykil]

IK I KEEP REQUESTING BUT ON THE 8TH COULD U DO A ONE SHOT WHERE KYLE (and the other 3 or other characters if u want idc) CELEBRATE THE READERS BIRTHDAY BC THAT'S MY 16TH BIRTHDAYYYYYYY🩷🖤💜

AND I'M SOOOOO EXCITEDDDDDD🎂🎉🎁

surprise─

kyle x reader

note; happy BIRTHDAY 🎀🎀🎂 @batty4-draculaura also pretend Kyle has a TV in his room 💥💥

"kyle you alright? Your leg is bouncing like crazy."

"I'm fine."

"you su—"

"fuck off"

the ginger stared down his bestfriend with a glare that made stan shrug and return to messing with his guitar strings. Kyle's leg bounced with every thought.. it was strings of different ones, but the occurring one was your birthday.

It was tomorrow and he still had no idea what the hell he wanted to do for you, did you want a big surprise? Or just a small one?

did you want to go somewhere or stay home?

lots of people or just you and him??

CAKE OR NOT?

"auugghhhhh!" Kyle groans out loud, slamming his face down onto Stan's pillows. Stan looks over and snickers, "soo nothing is wrong?"

"fuck OFFFF"

. . .

"you think that's gonna work?" Kyle asks as he makes his way out of the front door. Stan shrugs going to lean against the door frame as he watches Kyle exit his home.

"It's something isn't?" Stan raises his brow, his hands folded to his chest. Kyle stands to process the advice he was given then shrugs just like his friend and hums.

"I guess, it's simple but also romantic. Huh, who knew you could come up with something like that." Kyle teases which gets a reaction from the ravenette, he flips him off shortly after that insult.

kyle smiles and waves him goodbye then sets off to make his friend's advice a reality.

. . .

The next day

it was a normal day at school, the bus came, you hopped in, Kyle joined you and gave you a treat for breakfast well that wasn't particularly normal but you gratefully accepted it anyway.

your friends at school wished you a happy birthday, some giving you a big hug that took you by surprise. Kyle watched beside you with a gentle smile but his mind wandered off again.. he wasn't so sure if you would love his gift.

when school ended you groaned and got on the bus, "Dude look what Tolkien got me, airpods!! Can you believe that?" You took the case from out of the bag to show the ginger. Kyle's eyes widen at such a gift, but then again this was Tolkien so.

"You don't sound so happy about receiving it though?" He passes the gift back to you. You hum, putting it back inside the bag with other gifts. "I am happy it's just such an expensive gift, I'm not that special." Kyle watches you lightly laugh then he looks away.

"oh, but you are.." the teen whispers into the distance as his mind begins to wander once more throughout the bus ride.

"I also got this panda bear from Wendy, it's so cute isn't?"

"oh it is haha."

"mhm." The two of you start your walk to your house, it was normal for him to walk you home but you can't help but feel.. off.

you click your tongue and stop in your tracks. Kyle notices and does the same with a confused expression painted on his face pale face.

"Kyle you've been so weird this whole day, is there something wrong?" He takes a second to process your words, he didn't know it was obvious something was bothering him but it seemed he had no choice but to share his difficulties.

"It's better if I just show you."

"huh?" As soon as you know it he's taking you by the hand, you guys have turned around now heading to his house. Your brows scrunch up trying to figure out what the hell was happening. Once you see that familiar home you guys enter it and head upstairs where then, Kyle lets go of your hand.

he looks at his closed door, seemingly looking very hesitant to open it. You find humor in this and chuckle

"are you gonna turn the knob or.."

"y/n I know it's your birthday and I'm your boyfriend I was supposed to come up with something awesome but.." He pauses then looks over at you. Your laugh ends short and you grow serious, "what are you talking about?"

he sighs, swallows his guilt, and opens the door. The room when open, revealed such an interesting display. He turned his whole room into a mini party one with your favorite snacks on a blanket, a cake of your favorite flavor beside all the snacks, your favorite plushie sitting on his bed with a card leaning against it, and even some birthday balloons were floating around.

it looked like the activity here was to watch your favorite movies judging by the remote sitting nicely on the blanket with all those snacks.

you were in such shock by his cute gesture, that not even a peep was heard when you saw his room you just dropped your bag and covered your mouth.

"oh my gosh kyle.." You manage to finally let out, turning to face him. He was leaning against the now-closed door with his arms crossed, looking conflicted.

"It's so lame I know, I'm sorry.." He mutters, he rubs his face in embarrassment at such a terrible surprise. You walk over to him and guide his hand away from his face, you intertwine your hands with his and look at him straight in the eyes.

"this is the most cutest thing I have ever experienced, you did such a great job please don't beat up yourself. Because I really like it ky." his green eyes seem to light up at your gentle and sincere words.

"you mean it?" He seemed to still be in denial by your words that you leaned in to kiss the worried boy. He fell instantly into the surprise kiss, his lips moved ever so gently with yours as his hand escaped yours to hold your face closer to his. You both smile into the tender and sweet kiss when you pulled away he was a bit sad but still held your face.

"does that answer your question?" You raise a brow with a grin. His pale face was now painted a light red as he nodded at your question. You smile, going in to kiss him once more then pull away.

"well, happy birthday sweetheart."

"awhh thank you, now let's watch some rated r movies"

"with the lights on or—"

"OFF !!"

"loud and clear"

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 37

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Fade to Black by @yokohogawa

Things between Keith and Lance are changing but Keith is restless, especially with Shiro still weak, and ends up taking a bad decision: he leaves Lance alone in the Castle with a Lion he cannot pilot. Unable to form Voltron without the newly appointed Red Paladin, the four Paladins left struggle against the sudden attack of a Galra ship and later on take damage from the explosion of a star in close proximity. Lance, on the other end, is left to defend the Castle by himself and has little time to succeed: without energy, the Lions have only 6 hours of breathable air. Beyond that point, his friends will be dead.

okay yes technically this series is unfinished. HOWEVER the first two works ARE finished, and they are amazing showstopping incredible etc. tbh im not much of a black paladin lance fan, i genuinely think solo leadership is not what he is suited for, but this fic made me way more open to it. the way he handled severe crises was as fear stricken as it was awe inspiring highly recommend

2. once again i am a child by @lilaclavenders

“You’re not a spare tyre,” Adam interjects.  “I know that,” Lance says, too unsure to sound completely defensive.   “That almost sounded like a question.” “No... it didn’t,” Lance says.

Lance and Adam talk.

i have always been a fan of lance and adam even tho its the most evidence lacking fanon thing in this fandom. its truly just so interesting. and to have lance as a young cadet getting slammed so badly just in so many different directions being given at least one grownup in his corner...its a good read.

3. Lance the language man by @irish-vampire-blog

Lance didn't really try to learn a language. He just, kind of, picks up the basics and then works from there. Its usually unintentional. Ish.

He isn't stupid though. He isn't an idiot. He just isn't the same kind of smart as his friends are.

this kind of smart for lance is so REAL bc no he cannot do like quantum physics or whatever probably but the way he seems to have a pretty innate ability to successfully do many things that he tries. he just can u know?? thats the autism with the gay audacity i would imagine but i love seeing fics like this

4. my boyfriend's back (and you're gonna get in trouble) by teacupfulofbrains

hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back

Keith Kogane has never heard of Vine. Lance McClain takes personal offense to this, and makes it his personal mission to teach his boyfriend to meme. Keith is confused, mostly.

(OR: several instances of Keith not getting the meme™ and two times he did)

I LOVE THIS FIC SO BAD I CANT BELIEVE I HAVENT RECCED IT BEFORE. yes i am a cringe zillenial who still finds vine funny and quotes it on the internet but truly idc idc. this fic is funny. this fic is cute. established klance my love and light. also keith comparing lances eyes to the star of bombay is some of the gayest shit ever and also the only time i will entertain blue eyed lance

5. The Most Dangerous Thing is to Love by running_downn

Last time something like this happened to Lance, Keith wasn’t there. He’d thought he would have been able to do something if he had been there, or at least if he was, the guilt wouldn’t be so heavy on his chest. But this time he was there. He was right fucking there and he decided that it was infinitly worse.

~

Basically there's a new threat after the Galra and it almost kills Lance. Desperate making out ensues, but it's okay to recognize when it's not the right time for it. Keith cries a lot cause he's older and grizzled and therefore not as emotionally stunted.

green sock reality? team still out fighting as adults and lance isn’t a fucking farmer while the rest of the team isn’t? keith’s abandonment issues treated with respect and dignity and also the acknowledgement that he’s older and therefore mature enough to handle those issues in a way that doesn’t risk a relationship that is important to him? lance understanding all this and using the supportive nature he is known for??? yes yes yes. stellar fic that should have way more hits than it does

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[holymaccaronii]

[Part 3/???] AU rambling.

I initially wanted to explain how BE’s simulation works in a detailed way, but I think I am complicating myself too much lol. By simulation I don’t really mean that her survivors are put to sleep into virtual reality, but instead it’s something far different (and kinda overpowered tbh but idc). To define it shortly: artificial nature. I mean it in a sense that she can somehow manifest the energy inside her as exact replicas of objects or even living beings to the point of them actually being ‘alive’, as if they had their own minds. Imagine a big big base for a board game (the surface of the earth) that has these interactive holograms (anything BE creates) as pieces, n they are powered by an external core (BE herself). If this core were to be destroyed or shut down, everything else that the core powered would perish as well and simply disappear.

Unlike AM, BE does have the possibility of dying plus other limitations, some even set by herself, on her system/simulation:

-She can create and keep her current creations stable on the surface as long as she receives enough solar energy. Just as nature does, BE has the most power during spring and summer, and eventually decreases during autumn and winter. BE prefers to just let her nature flow and perish in winter, she understands why it’s necessary.

-BE refuses to create artificial humans as she only trusts the main 5, and believes any other human no matter if real or artificial could get her into troubles. I know I have mentioned that she initially considered humans to be perfect angels, but later on the story SOMEONE makes her realize the terrible truth and all her hope in humanity gets lost, of course before the 5 humans arrived.

-She can’t greatly affect AM’s complex. Just as I mentioned, her power relies on solar energy, thus if she were to return or be trapped again into his complex she’d most likely spend her energy left into escaping. On the other side, AM CAN affect her simulation only if she grants him enough power and lets his cables roam close to the surface.

-She refuses to let her humans be harmed in any way. While yes they can feel hits or strong forces act onto them, BE has the magnitude of these under control. They are safe/can’t be harmed by any object or being of her creation, and can’t age or suffer illness either.

-BE can manipulate real matter and implement her code in it to morph it into something else. An example of this is what happens to AM when he is given his body, as BE manipulated a bunch of cables that reached the surface to do so. That’s why you see him with his cables shaped as his body, these are his, and his cape + black dye that come from BE.

-Erm and I’m still thinking of the others tehee

I’m just tryna connect the dots in here and give her surroundings and powers a proper definition. Like yes she is just as op as AM but I need to review what limitations she has as well..

[dopaminergicaddictions]

3/14/24

12:02 a.m

Something I've noticed as a change for my constant auditory hallucinations is if I listen to chatter aka TV or podcasts or even sometimes when I'm in, "silence," is I hear it like, "screaming" it isn't louder. It's not really a scream.... in volume. It's more like an inaudible, "ahhhhh" like it wants to talk and can't verbalize. It has the same voice. I have been hearing it since the beginning of March.

I assume that is the voice "devocalizing." Like I said it's not loud... or louder. It's def not intelligent, creative or persuasive. It's not getting any quiter than a whispering echo though... it's the same volume but it's this weird, "ahhhhhhhhh" it's clearly trying to talk bc it's the same voice but it's unable to vocalize.

It's also like sometimes it can be really repetitive and I can focus on the screeching of the air conditioner the natural sound and I can turn the voice into the screeching making it sound like it's saying what it is saying but it sounds more nature and its easier to ignore, however I really have to try to do that. It takes focus and effort.

The voice is excessively repetitive and lacks intelligence. It's only intelligent when it repeats my internal monologue. Which it does like 50% of the time, it used to more. I have more quiet thoughts. I feel like that, "ahhh" is truly devocalization occurring. Maybe I'll recover one day but I'm not holding my breath.

I just wish i could meet someone be proven wrong that soulmates don't exist. And just love their children. Feel wanted, needed, be helpful. My hallucination would drastically lessen if I was not isolated and if I was surrounded by people. I've been trying to be social so I don't hallucinate as much, also I don't expect Kristen to lose her license. I don't expect to find a partner. I don't expect to recover. I expect to overdose tbh. It's coming. Especially if Kristen gets her life of luxury when I lost my ability to sit in silence and feel internal peace.

I'd say being a voice hearer was interfering with my ability to find someone but truly I don't even get through the swiping part... none of my personality is getting considered. I took trans off my profile, cause I'll never find someone with that at the top of my bio. Idk what I got to do to pass the swiping test.

I've given up on thinking Elise is my soulmate. What do I think?

She loves her husband, they are happy. I'm happy for them both especially her. I think she cares deeply about me and would be my friend but can't bc of professional constraints that will eventually not be a problem but for now they are. I expect I'll hear from her in 2 years minimum. Maybe 5 years maximum. I expect I may never hear from her.

I still love her, I still think she's my soulmate but not really cause soulmates don't exist. If soulmates existed she would be getting a divorce. If soulmates existed she would message me the only way she knows how. I expect if anything she's going to be my friend eventually and it'll be some insignificant nothing relationship. If I ever get married which won't happen cause no one would be stupid enough to do that, maybe she will be at my wedding smiling. I don't expect her to ever be my girl. I don't expect her to show up.

I do believe we had something special and i believe we may at some point in the future if I'm still here. I don't expect it to be romantic but I don't expect it to be fulfilling. My expectation is she will be like Katelyn or Tee. A BFF but it won't fill this hollowing aloneness anyways. I'll only have that filled by a partner.

I realized to not be delusional at all, I can't expect her to show up. I can't even think she has feelings for me. It's even delusional to believe she cares about me genuinely. I'm going to be delusional in that regard. I remember her eyes and idc what anyone says. I know she cares still. However I have accept the harsh reality that her caring about me does not mean she's ever going to know me personally. The harsh reality is, she's going to live her life where she is, and I'm going to live my life where I am and I'm going to hope and dream she shows up for me. As the months go by I'll cope with abandonment. It's something I'm used to.

I won't dislike her. I won't resent her. I'll root for her silently over here and hope she's happy. That's all I can do.

[cabeswaterdrowned]

arguing over how the godly DNA thing does/doesn’t impact shipping in pjoverse (aside from like, actual siblings obviously) is actually the stupidest thing ever. Just accept that the explanation was half assed / not written in a logical well thought out way but that we as a fandom have no choice but to accept it at face value and see it as a situation that isn’t analogous to the real world. I would say it’s similar to consuming paranormal media where all the main relationships are paranormal x immortal and you have to accept that as a trope of the genre / norm of the world rather than argue about 100 yr age gap vs 2000 year or something, when neither is appropriate and neither is analogous to like a teen show romanticizing a student-teacher relationship in a school setting which is technically less of a gap but sooo much more harmful in how it influences/relates to situations that happen just like that every day in reality (and this isn’t about ships with immortal x mortal like that in this verse necessarily since there are very few of them/it is not the norm, so I get people being uncomfortable with them (I Hate C*leo but my reasons for hating them aren’t necessarily that one)). There’s a false equivalency in trying to make demigod relationships out to be analogous to real life ones in that way and I haven’t seen one argument about this that isn’t blatantly just someone disliking a specific ship and trying to badmouth it and in doing so coming off as a hypocrite.

Like let’s see, ‘shipping Jasicois Disgusting idc what Rick says about DNA people are going to hell for shipping First Cousins 1!1’ okay… do you feel that way about Jercy? If you say yes you also hate that for the same reason do you feel that way about Pipabeth because Athena and Artemis are both daughters of Zeus making them ‘first cousins’ too (and here’s where I think you start losing people because in reality a lot of these arguments are based around the mlm ships but ignore the wlw ones because fandom has a very 2d way of interacting with ships like Pipabeth a lot of the time where sure a fan will say they Like the ship but they’ve never in reality ever given actual thought to their dynamic enough to notice this (also applies to things like arguing about a 1.5 year age gap for other ships like Jasico/Valdangelo maybe Jercy if they actually remember their 1.5 age difference but not being able to catch that Annabeth is also 1.5 years older than Piper because again it’s usually transparent when people haven’t actually payed the attention the female characters and f/f dynamics they pretend to, also 1.5 years is not a serious age gap like 3+ years is when it comes to ya/middle grade but this isn’t about that) And if you are taking the stance that what Rick said about godly DNA is like, a lie (when it is fantasy world-building albeit poorly constructed but still world-building) how are you going to ship Any of the demigods together if your answer is like amount of distances the family tree that’s also a bizarre/weird take because do you think shipping second cousins would be better/less gross/less harmful? Like by ‘Gods do have DNA actually’ logic Zeus is Athena’s father and Poseidon is Zeus’s brother so that makes Poseidon Annabeth’s great uncle and Percy Annabeth’s (As a die-hard Percabeth can’t believe I have to actually type this out to make a point I hate ya’ll for making me have to think about it this much 🤮🤢) Uncle ???!! Similar with Nico to Will and Hazel to Frank. Do you still believe what you originally spoke about? Like unless the take you have is that no demigods are shippable / you hate all ships between them the way these takes operate is Clearly not actually about like activism it’s because you dislike a ship and want to put it down/make it seem like other people should not ship it, be serious, and in the process you actually made everything much weirder and grosser than it needed to be in the first place. 

And like listen… you can just hate a ship! There are always some valid criticisms of ships/dynamics I’m including ones I personally ship in this. You can State your actual reasons for not liking the ship instead of this hypocritical faux-activism. For example I personally dislike Jercy as a ship because I think it’s overrated and boring compared to more interesting dynamics, their relationship could have been a good one but almost all their interactions in the books involved this weird toxic masculinity macho bs that seemed ooc for both of them and I didn’t enjoy reading about them together much. But I’m not going to try and tell Jercy shippers that shipping Jercy is problematic and terrible because they’re cousins or a toxic relationship or something because I have a functioning brain thank you very much! People can go for what I don’t personally like. See it’s very simple. You don’t even have to have reasons like I gave! You can just not vibe with something.

*P*rcicos dni this is not about you! No I don’t think the cousins argument holds weight there anymore than for other ships but their age gap + power imbalance Is troubling in a real world context in a way that doesn’t apply to other ships I mentioned ( Frazel similar in age gap but not in power dynamics, and I dislike Frazel too) the combination of 3.5ish years age gap + Nico having idolized Percy to an unhealthy degree for years/since he was a ten year old child + Percy very much views Nico as a child in his narration in pjo and that means he would never look at him in a romantic light at any point in the future, if you think otherwise you just don’t care or get Percy’s characterization frankly. I don’t support relationships that have such a troubling imbalance in a real world context. (It should go without saying L*kabeth L*kercy Th*labeth and dynamics with super egregious imbalances like that dni again not about you).

Most of the really irritating stuff I’ve seen about this is on twt I just felt the need to write all this out here 

[miazeklos]

Between the Lannister trio + Tywin who do you think was done better in the show and who in the books? Also, best casting among the four (although they are all perfect let's face it)

As a self-admitted show stan, I'd have to go with show for all of them, I think. ;D Other than perhaps Tywin - I don't really think any of the kids got the better of him in the books at any point (obviously before Tyrion's crossbow adventures), iirc, but they did get the upper hand in the show on occasion. Other than that, IMO, they were all done better on the show:

Tyrion is arguably more morally grey in the books, but his characterisation is more consistent on the show (and I'll never shut up about this, but he didn't give Dany bad advice - he a) had conflict of interest and b) was a politician and she was expecting him to fill the role of a strategist as well. Politics-wise, she would've fared much better in Westeros if she'd listened to him about her campaign, but alas).

Jaime's a bit tricky because a lot of what happens in his chapters is internal monologue, but I do think they did a great job with him on the show - I haven't checked and yet am sure that this is an unpopular opinion, but he's a more well-rounded character there, and feels significantly more mature in the way he acts - he starts off as someone quite disillusioned as is, and his relationship with Cersei is grounded in reality rather than a pedestal, which is a good change from the books.

Tywin is, well, Tywin. I don't think there's much change there, really.

Cersei is also a bit complicated to me because I pretty much view book! and show!Cersei as two different characters (though tbh I do this with Jaime, too, I just pay less attention to him than I do to her in the books so it's more obvious with her). This is gonna sound bad, but it's true and I should say it: show!Cersei is less obviously written by a man, which is something she suffers a lot from in the books. GRRM spends a considerable chunk of each of her chapters to at least a little senseless violence or cruelty to remind you that yes, she's indeed very evil and the show keeps those characteristics while making them a little less tropey - she's still just as impulsive, prone to anger, occasionally paranoid, very power-hungry and so on and so forth as she is in the books, but they leave some room for her humanity, too. The show's narrative is certainly more understanding and generally gentler with her and the reasons for why she's the way she is, and she has a stronger support system there, which I obviously also love.

(Not to mention: I've always found the way book!Cersei is written from other people's POVs - mainly men, up to and including Ned - to be like... troublingly aggressively sехualised, as if she's a succubus or something instead of literally just. a human person. Which happens less on the show; in fact, the times when people focus on her physical beauty rather than literally anything else about her are treated as something negative from her POV, but that's a different can of worms entirely.)

Also: book!Cersei has hints of this as well, but in the show it's more obvious and I love it for that: she's incredibly self-aware, no matter what the fandom says. She knows she's terrible but she also knows that she's powerful; she knows what she can get away with and how to manipulate the narrative to sway people to her side. She's a politician! She's one in the books, too, but she's less refined at it, or at least more heavy-handed at times; one of the reasons season 7 is such a favourite for me is that you very much see this side of her and it's the best narrative this show has given me, tbh. Idc about the ice zombies, give me political drama! I could write an essay or twenty on Dany and Cersei's Westerosi queendom-related campaigns and never get bored!

And yeah, casting-wise, I agree - there are no weak links in the Lannister cast. ;D (Literally, even the twinсеst kids - when put next to one another, all three pretty much have the exact same face with different haircuts, which is *chef's kiss* as far as casting goes). I know people complain about how Peter Dinklage is too attractive and also should've had his nose chopped off during the Blackwater battle, but prosthetics are a pain in the everything for every episode seven seasons straight, and also it's genuinely not that important, IMO, and he's perfect for the role. Charles Dance is excellent, too, and you all know how I feel about the twins - no one could have done it better. ;D)

[unsaidmar]

Call.

a/n: hello peeps! this is a request! thank you for liking what i write, it means the world to me. love y'all. requests still open. 

wc: 1.5k hehe

warning: mentions of death, curse words, sad stuff.

pairing: spencer x bau! reader.

plot: For the first time, you’re not where he is. It drives you crazy. 

--------------

You considered yourself quite the resilient person. Emotions got to you but never incapacitated you. Danger was a given in the career path you had chosen and the prospect of it was something you were used to, but never like this. It was always your own life you were worried about, but the BAU had taken the grasp you had on your job and your reality and completely redifined it.

Being guarded with your emotions and affections was a defense mechanism you had developed thanks to your experience in law enforcement. People always got hurt and you had to move on from it, that’s just how it was. But the BAU was the one to break the mold.

Those people had been through a lot together, the good, the bad and the ugly. They had seen it all and done it all, and now you were a part of it. They took you in and accepted you like you hadn’t just joined the team and you let them. Soon enough, Rossi was walling you “kid” and kissing both your cheeks when he greeted you, Morgan was fist bumping you when you made stupid jokes and you were going out to dinner with Emily, JJ and Penelope. Not one of them hesitated to put their life on the line with or for you, and it shook your world.

All of a sudden it wasn’t just yourself you had to worry about, because every person walking into burning buildings and hostage situations with you was your family. You loved every one of them and losing them scared you a lot, enough to feel like your heart was beating out of your chest whenever they were in danger.

And still, you had to go and fall in love.

Spencer had woven himself into your life, your routine, your work life and eventually your heart. It felt like he was marking his territory before he knew he was doing it, something resembling a person moving into your home, but the things he left behind were more than a toothbrush or a book. He left his mark in little things you incorporated into your life and it slowly transformed the both of you into a collage of each other.

He started drinking soy milk when you convinced him it was not bad and that subjecting himself to the pain of being lactose intolerant and still consuming milk, wasn’t worth it. You stopped leaving your windows open at night when he freaked you out about stray cats taking residence in your couch and potential burglars getting in. And those absolutely inconsequential things were forever going to be a gift you had given each other, no matter what came out of your relationship, even if you went your separate ways. Which, you never did.

Three years into working at the BAU, and two into your relationship with Spencer, you got married. The both of you figured that the wait was not necessary because you knew very early on that that was it, you were it. Next thing you knew, your fourth wedding anniversary was coming up, and so were many other things.

After getting kidnapped and shot, you were never the same. You had come to terms with dying, you wanted it to happen so you didn’t have to deal with the inevitable trauma that came with surviving, but you weren’t that lucky. Everyone had been worried about you and the living ghost look you were sporting. It looked like you were re living the situation in your head every moment you were awake, and that was indeed the case. It haunted you when you were sleeping and it consumed you when you were awake, so Hotch made you take a break.

Stubbornness was your thing, so he took away your badge any other form of ID that could get you into the building, he didn’t answer your calls and only texted your work cellphone to ask you to stop asking him to reinstate you. Being alone with your thoughts was hell. Having your family out there risking their lives without you was even worse.

“Hey Spence, it’s me again… um... could you let me know if you’ve been getting my texts? It’s just that… you never not text me back and I’m getting worried. Is that too much? I’m probably being ridiculous. Anyways, call me back. Or text. Just let me know you’re okay. I love you.” You sighed and put your phone down for what felt like the twentieth time in the last half hour.

This had never been the case. You were never the worried spouse that had to rely on phone calls or texts to communicate or to even know your husband was alive. It made you empathize with Will, with Haley. It made you want to ask them for advice on not going crazy. Your mind was already going rouge.

I can’t be a widow. I can’t mourn the love of my life, how does anyone? What happens if I lose him? How foolish of me to have dismissed this when we got married. We’re FBI agents, for the love of God. We point guns and have them pointed back at us for a living. I’ll have to take my ring off. Do I keep it? I can’t look at it if he’s gone. Who picks out the dress for the funeral? If I have to do it, I’ll go insane. I can’t bury him; I can’t go watch them lower him to the ground. I will just cremate him and split his ashes so his mom has him too. His mom. That woman won’t be able to bear outliving her baby. God, please pick up the fucking phone.

You: Honey, please text me back!!! Have someone text me for you, idc.

You: Spence, charge your phone.

You: Why is Derek not texting me back either?

You: Are you angry at me?

You: I’d rather you tell me if you’re angry. Don’t ghost me when you’re on a case.

You: Spencer.

You: I’m calling Penny.

Three rings it took for Penelope to answer.

“Hi my sweet, beautiful, ____. How can I be of assistance to you at this indecent hour of the morning/night?” She chirped, her tone already relaxing you. She would be the first to know if something had gone wrong.

“Hi Penny, do you have any word on the team? I keep calling and texting Spencer and he hasn’t gotten back to me. It’s been like three hours.” You said, holding back the tears.

“Oh, sweet stuff. Last I heard, they were delivering the profile. They’re in Kansas and there was a tornado warning. The power is out. Maybe all of their phones ran out of battery.” She tried to reassure you, like always, already knowing what was happening in your head. “Is everything okay? Have you slept?”

“Not really. Spence stopped replying and I got anxious.”

“Don’t worry hun, bad news travel fast.”

“Yeah, yeah… you’re right. I should…”

Before you could finish your sentence, the door creaked open and you saw a defeated looking Spencer hang his jacket and take his shoes off trying to be quiet, assuming you were asleep. You felt the color come back to your face and you dropped the phone on the couch without even making sure you had ended the call.

“Oh, thank God.” You ran to him and aggressively hugged him. Much to your embarrassment, the tears you were trying so hard to hold back were now streaming down your face.

“Hey, hey…” He took in your appearance and instantly worried about you. “What happened? Is everything okay?”

“What the fuck happened to your phone? And everyone else’s for that matter!” You said, letting go of him and raising your voice without meaning to. Spencer knew you never yelled, so he was taken aback by your words.

“It died, ___, four hours ago, the power went out and the generator wasn’t working. Why are you screaming?” He rushed out.

“Because you never texted me back and I thought you were dead!” Your voice was a lot calmer now, much more frustrated and tired.

“Honey, I’m so sorry, everything happened so fast, I didn’t even think about my phone. I didn’t mean to make you angry; I promise.”

“I’m not angry, baby. At least not at you. I hate being here and not out there with you. I can’t sit around and wait for you to give me proof of life. it’s driving me insane and it has only happened once.” You groaned, choking back quiet sobs now. “I can’t lose you. I can’t be the last to find out.” You fell to the couch like your legs had stopped working.

Your husband was looking at you like he didn’t even think about that, like the realization had just hit him. You couldn’t blame him, neither of you were used to that dynamic of checking your phones because the one person you would want to update was always along for the ride.

“Baby, you’re not going to lose me. I’m so sorry, I promise I’ll care more about my phone. I didn’t mean to worry you.” He said, crouching to be eye to eye with you and taking your hands.

“No, no..I’m sorry. I’m being ridiculous, I went crazy. You shouldn’t have to do that…” You kissed his knuckles and slid down the couch to sit on the floor with him. All you wanted was to be near him. You put your arms around his neck and whispered. “I love you, I’m sorry I yelled at you. I was losing it. I’m not used to this feeling of not knowing where you are or if you’re okay, I felt helpless.”

“It’s okay hun, I get it, I love you too. We’re both new to this whole being-a part thing. If I’m honest, I don’t like it.” He pulled you to his lap so you were tangled up like a koala.

“I hate it. It 's the worst. I’m done with this break”

“Hotch is just looking out for you, he wanted to give you your space after the accident. You can talk to him and see how he feels about you coming back.” His reassuring words were already lightening the mood, and you were grateful he was fine. Once the adrenaline died down, the sleep you had been missing hit you like a ton of bricks. You stifled a yawn and planted a kiss on Spencer’s forehead.

“You’re tired. Let’s go to sleep.” He took notice of your droopy eyelids and went to stand up. “Have you been awake all this time?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t just go to bed.” You replied, removing yourself from his lap and taking his hand.

“Come on, let’s crash. I’m off tomorrow, we don’t have to wake up early.”

Oh, thank the lord.

“I’ll go to sleep, but I have one condition.” You said with your best attempt at a mischievous grin.

“What is it?” Spencer asked, knowing that tone and that face all too well.

“Get a stupid portable charger.”

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Today in Strongly Worded Opinions (That You Didn't Ask For), I'm going to assert that there are too objective ways to measure whether or not a relationship is strong in story terms – by which I mean, unrelated to whether or not readers/viewers personally like the dynamic or the chemistry of the actors (in such cases as there are actors involved).

So for the sake of clarity, be ye advised: this isn't about shipping, fuck it, ship whatever you want idc.  Shipping a strong relationship isn't inherently better than shipping a weak one – heck, you could just as easily argue that it's the lazier, less creative route.  Also, I don't care?  I don't care, it's just fandom.  Follow your arrow.  This is about ways to discuss whether or not a relationship introduced into a text succeeds or fails as an element of the story – or really as I'm going to prefer calling it, if a given relationship forms a strong or weak story element.

For this I'm presuming that you're creating a relationship between a protagonist and a secondary character introduced as a piece of the protagonist's overall story – protagonist/protagonist relationships aren't really a different situation, but they do have more moving parts, so for simplicity's sake, let's   stick with a Main Character (we'll call that M) and a Significant Other (S for short).  Also, these relationships by no means have to be romantic; any relationship can be measured as weak or strong in story terms.

Also, I'm going to say everything here as though it were factually true, even though it's just my opinion, which is correct, but if you disagree then it's only my opinion, but I am correct.  Ready?  Okay!

Strong relationships have story functions; in reality nothing means anything and people just like each other because they do, but fuck reality, it's a huge narrative mess.  And my basic premise here is that the story function of a strong relationship falls under one (or more, if you wanna get real fancy) of these three categories:

The relationship can unlock under-explored elements of M's story or character through mirroring or intimacy (often shows up as “friends to lovers”).  There is backstory that hasn't been unearthed yet, or some reaction or experience in M's life that could advance the story, and S can serve as a means to get at it.  Maybe M and S share a similar trauma or life story; maybe S is the first person M feels able to open up to about something profound and relevant.  Maybe part of M's story is a conflict between how they seem to others and how they see themselves or their own potential; maybe S is the person who sees them the way they see themselves...or sees M as the person they're afraid they'll never be.  The story goal being met here is giving M a boost toward successful completion of their story arc, so even though there could be conflict, S is fundamentally pulling on the same side as M in the major story conflicts, in such a way that by the end, the reader should feel like M's success is at least in part because of what they gain from their relationship with S.

The relationship can function as a piece of the story's overall conflict, or as a secondary subplot conflict (often shows up as “enemies to lovers”). Traditional romance novel plotting effectively slots the love interest into the role of “antagonist,” because the romance's conflict is generally driven by people not getting what they want from each other until certain win conditions are met.  In this kind of relationship, M and S might be actual-facts competitors, or be divided by ideological concerns, or they might be forced into proximity by the plot but clash on some personality level.  The arc of this relationship is typically going to be about the M softening up as the relationship develops – if M starts out ruthlessly single-minded, maybe realizing that they're running roughshod over S in the process is part of their character breakthrough; if the story is about M realizing that they've underestimated the complexity of the world around them, maybe coming to recognize S as an equal is how that gets concretized for the reader.  Basically this is a story where S presents a problem that M has to solve, and the more central to the narrative solving that problem is, the stronger the relationship is.

The relationship can serve to divide M's goals (often shows up as “love versus duty”).  This is a story where M has to accomplish two separate things in order to fulfill their arc, but those two things aren't easily integrated. One of M's goals might be fulfilling a vow, or filial duty, or seeking revenge, and the other goal is some form of protecting or obtaining S.  If the story puts M in a position of having to choose, then the relationship is inherently strong; it's providing narrative drive, whether or not S is especially well-developed as an individual character.  This one can be tricky, because a very weak relationship can serve a superficially similar purpose, by demonstrating M's devotion to duty or obsessive pursuit of whatever when M rebuffs S to keep them out of harm's way or to avoid distraction or whatever. The difference is that in those superficial cases, the audience is meant to recognize that aw, that's sad, M has really had to Make Sacrifices – but there's really no dramatic tension involved; we know all along that M is going to Make Sacrifices in purusit of the real goal.  When this is done seriously with a strong relationship, the audience is meant to feel divided as well; Romeo and Juliet just doesn't work as a story unless the audience likes Juliet and Mercutio, unless they fully identify with the dilemma that Romeo is in when he has to either avenge Mercutio's death or spare Tybalt for Juliet's sake and the sake of their future together. That's a big fucking story moment, and it only works because the audience buys both relationships – Romeo's with Mercutio and with Juliet – as narratively strong, to the point where Romeo's choice is not a forgone conclusion.  This one is much easier to get wrong, I think, than the other two are!

What I'm saying here is that a strong relationship isn't really determined by how personally compatible two characters seem to be; a lot of movies that fridge a character's wife, for example, rely on actors convincingly portraying, in a brief window of time, two compatible people who care for each other – I'm thinking of, like, Richard Kimble and his wife in The Fugitive, who I think do sell the idea of a loving and happy marriage, but the relationship itself is a weak one.  The story only really needs the bare fact of it – “Kimble had a wife that he loved and then this happened” – to kick off the actual story; the relationship between Kimble and Gerard is a stronger one narratively, because much of the emotional tension of the movie, what makes it more effective than just a series of chase scenes, is the way their mutual respect evolves as they compete against each other, and the story question of “Kimble really needs an ally, is this the right person for him to trust?”  It's such a strong relationship that it comes as a huge relief of tension when he does make that gesture of trust and it turns out to be the right choice.  The audience is happy that Kimble will be exonerated, but the audience is equally happy that the conflict between these two charcters is over – we didn't like them being at odds because we didn't want either of them to lose!  Now, would these two people ever be close friends, let alone come to love each other?  No? Yes? Who cares?  Kimble loves his wife more, but has a stronger relationship in this story with Gerard. From a writing perspective, it's trivially easy to introduce an S and say “M loves this person,” but it means relatively little.  It's harder to introduce an S and say “some part of this story now hinges on how M navigates knowing this person,” but that's kind of what has to happen in order to create a payoff that's worth the effort.  A strong relationship provides skeletal structure for the story; it can't be stitched on at the margins.

This is an even tougher sell in something like a television series, where the introduction of S may come in well after the story is underway and the bulk of M's characterization is already in place.  That's why introducing a late-season love interest is a notoriously dodgy proposition!  To demonstrate weak vs strong relationship in action, I'm going to take an example of what I think was a failed attempt and pitch some ways to doctor it up into a strong relationship: Sam Winchester and Eileen Leahy.

This is objectively a weak relationship.  She doesn't materially affect the metaplot of the series, or drive any major choices, or reveal anything about Sam's character.  She's just, you know, generally nice and attractive and Sam likes her, which is a fine start, but then the writers just leave her idling in the garage forever.  But it didn't have to be that way! Say we wanted to make it a Type 1 relationship: super easy, barely an inconvenience!  Eileen is very like Sam, actually, in that she lost her parents as an infant and then had the entire rest of her life shaped by the trauma and the pursuit of revenge.  That's amazing.  How many other people, even hunters, share that specific experience with Sam Winchester?  Sam was physically changed by drinking demon blood in infancy; Eileen was physically changed by being deafened by the banshee or whatever it was in infancy.  Even just allowing them to talk about that would have made the relationship stronger.  Sam is affected by the fact that there is no Before Time for him; even now that they've long since had their revenge on ol' Yellow Eyes himself, he grapples with the fact that he's forever robbed of any memories of innocence or safety or a life that wasn't lived in the shadow of this killing.  Eileen also has had her life's quest for revenge fulfilled, and also has to reckon with the fact that it doesn't actually give her access to the innocence that was stolen from her.  Maybe she struggles with that.  Maybe Sam can open up to her because she knows what it's like to look back on your child self and feel that however strong you've made yourself, you're never strong enough to protect that child.

What if you want to write something spicier than Sam and Eileen talking about their sad feelings?  Okay, let's take a Type 2 story.  Eileen has been a lone hunter with a disability all her life; it's fair to guess that even if she can't match Sam's physical strength, the fact that she's survived at all means that she's pretty indomitable.  Maybe she's had to be ruthless, even brutal in her hunting style; maybe she has a shoot-first-ask-questions-never approach to hunting that she credits with her very survival, but that Sam finds excessively rash and bloody.  Maybe they fight about it.  Have her kill some ambiguous, maybe-not-dangerous monstery types, a werewolf or something, and Sam's like, hey, we really can't just-- and Eileen is like, look, I hunt how I hunt, come with me or don't.  I mean, this is a retread in some ways of early season conflicts about who to kill and when, but everything in the latter seasons is a retread anyway, so whatever, and it provides something interesting to have Sam deal with this whiplash of how there seem to be two Eileens, the smiley, jocular sweetheart who eats pancakes with him and the one who kills like she's swatting flies.  What if he wants one but not the other?  It doesn't really work that way, does it?  Is this something he can dismiss as a foible, or is this a dealbreaker? The dude is almost forty, if he distances himself from Eileen, how many more hunters does he think he has a chance to meet and marry?  If she won't even listen to his concerns seriously, is it really a good relationship anyway, or will Sam's needs always end up taking a backseat to Eileen's?

A Type 3 fix could just come down quite plainly to, what if Eileen is ready to retire?  She's had her revenge.  She's lived her life on the hunt.  Maybe she's done, and maybe she wants Sam to be done with her.  Doing this in season 15 would circle Sam back to his season 1 story conflicts in a nice way, I think – why does Sam do this at all, if it's not for revenge any longer?  Does he feel personally responsible for every dead person he could've saved but didn't – is that a reasonable boundary, or lack thereof, to set?  Is a compromise possible – could he continue to coordinate hunts while also getting out of the field and starting a family, or is that still putting his family in the shadow of too much violence and danger to tolerate?  What's Dean going to say?  He's pitched a fit in the past when Sam said he wanted out, but he's mellowed with age, hasn't he?  Maybe he'll get it now?  But maybe Sam also feels guilty and fearful, because he knows Dean will hunt without him, so now he's in more danger because of Sam's choices, if Sam makes this choice.  It's a little heteronormative, as story conflicts go, but it's thematically appropriate to Supernatural, and the fact that Eileen isn't speaking out of timidity but out of the same weariness that Sam has so often felt about the whole endless cycle makes it feel a little less “the little lady won't let me go on adventures anymore.”  This might not be my pick of the three, but the point is that it makes for a strong conflict, a legitimate divided loyalty for Sam to wrestle with, and one that doesn't have a clear right answer.

Anyway, hopefully that helps illustrate what I mean when I say that the narrative strength of a relationship doesn't have anything to do with how likeable an S character is – Eileen is very likeable! But that doesn't substitute for building her into the fabric of the story in some way.  My expectation is that a serious protagonist relationship should bend the story arc in a way that requires response, and if it doesn't, I don't take that relationship particularly seriously.  Canon can declare a relationship real by fiat, but it can't automatically declare a relationship meaningful without, you know, making meaning of it.

Oh, and there's not anything really wrong with weak relationships – most M's are going to have several in the story.  My point is just that the difference between a weak relationship and a strong one isn't really a matter of taste or preference, but has a functional meaning that can be tested and measured, and if there's argument to be had about it, the argument can take place on evidentiary grounds.  Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[phoebehalliwell]

“We didn’t lose him after all” comment always gets me because what happens when this Chris is nothing like the Chris you knew? This Chris has a dad that doesn’t play favorites, alive mom, good brother, aunts and uncles that didn’t die early and we assume cousins, honestly what happens if this Chris is nothing like the Sarcastic, Neurotic, Dead witchlighter you knew? Will you mourn him then when you realize he’s actually gone?

it’s actually like. okay. so like. being raised in The Dark Future™ is like. So Obviously gonna have an impact on you. what was it chris said like back in season five? if you can't do that, you're gonna find out what a world of darkness feels like. my world. like this reality is seared into his identity the chris we got is very much a product of the dark future. i’d say the closest thing we saw to what chris would grow up to be like is when wyatt ceases to exist for like 24 hours. like obvi it’s not the exact same as he is either the eldest/only child in that reality, but this variant of chris Did Not grow up in a hellscape and you can tell he’s different. they even give us a compare and contrast scene with darkfuture!chris and nowyatt!chris. they’re basically two different people. and honestly i do think about the differences between the chris we know and the chris that baby chris will grow up to be bc like. he’s not gonna be the same. and then of course there is this question of nature versus nurture and how much of who you are was predetermined from the moment you were born versus how much was a product of environment and like. he’s a fictional character. so like. u sorta wanna lean towards nature and say he’s gonna have certain hallmarks no matter how much his environment changes like he’s always gonna be a lil neurotic and a bit of a pessimist and kinda evasive but like if we only look at the “““evidence””” the chris from a world without wyatt is just sorta like. slutty himbo. no beef with leo. just there to vibe. very much not chris. which makes the strong case for nurture against nature. personally, when i write chris, he doesn’t entirely align with the chris we saw in canon bc like. he’s not that character. he didn’t grow up in a hellscape created by his older brother with a broken and/or dead family. he grew up in a post-forever charmed world which is very much set up to be a beautiful golden little universe where everything is good and no one hurts. but at the same time, he is the character of Chris Halliwell like y’know if you entered a story that was completely the wyattless chris that we saw for 90 seconds you’d be like what in the name of ooc is going on here? i think like. when sorta like crafting this chris 2.0, there are certain elements of the og version that you want to carry over so he still feels slightly familiar. in all of my writings of next gen chris, it’s actually his in canon death that gives him his daddy issues in this world (bc let’s be real like a chris who has like absolutely no issues with leo and just has an incredibly close and healthy relationship with his father is great for like a fluff headcanon list but is not the character that we all know from the show). i think like okay Obviously having your child die in your arms is not something you can shake off. it’s not something you can ever forget. and i think that greatly impacts leo and chris’s relationship i think leo is terrified that he’ll have to watch chris die again and he constantly tries to keep chris out of harm’s way as a result, which chris misinterprets as a lack of faith. i also keep chris like neurotic and evasive bc like. he is, man. the whole i can’t tell you that was like a staple of his character. idc that it might not make sense given the way he was raised, i’m keeping it. so like. i don’t think chris v2 is the same as chris v1, but i think there are echoes. and i think the closer he gets to 22 the sorta weirder his family gets about it all bc like. they knew him. they knew a version of him but that’s not the chris he is and they know this chris hell they raised this chris but like. he’s so similar to the one that died two decades ago. but he’s not the same and i think for them it’s freaky. if i had to guess tho, i don’t think it would lead to mourning. i think it would create uneasy. phoebe has a soul curse, she can never live past 22. what if chris is cursed to repeat the same fate. i think every time he does something that reminds them of v1 chris, they just get a little more scared, that he’s gonna make the same choices and die the same way he did before.

[flameontheotherside]

Key Things I’ve Learned On This Journey

1. No one has a right to tell me what my spiritual journey is and I don’t have the right to tell someone either. 

We are all living in our truth. Our experiences shape our reality and I won’t try to tell someone based on my experiences that they will see the same on their unique spiritual path. If I come off like a guru, I don’t really mean to come off that way. I get passionate sometimes so while I know in my heart what I say may not be true to some people, I might come off like a know-it-all. But I try to remind people that I’m not a guru and I don’t want anyone to think of me that way. No of us has a right to tell someone who they are. I don’t know who you are, so I don’t have any right to tell you. I can make suggestions but at the end of the day, your life is YOUR life. What you believe is what YOU believe and I won’t purposefully force my spiritual beliefs on anyone. It’s a form of pride and coming off smug and it’s a sin. 

In spiritual communities people tend to have this air or sense about them that they are an expert. This I can say with certainty that none of us are experts. IDC how much time you spent on your craft or Catholic, Pagan, Christian or faith. You can’t call yourself spiritual if you come off at a position of righteousness or like you have all the answers. We don’t have even a full understanding until we are dead. We need to keep practicing humility. I believe in a near death experience, it’s not a reason to think just because you “died” you have all the answers. No, you have the answers for yourself. Your experiences shape your beliefs and they will/can change over your growth.

2. Not to be embarrassed by growth.

What I mean is when I look back at the beginning of my journey, I recognize a lot of errors. What I thought was one thing, turns out was “mistranslated” or misunderstood. I cringe at some of my old posts. Just some because I’ve grown so much and come so far. It should be celebrated and not shameful. Looking back reminds you of the things you’ve battled and won. We all change. Our opinions are shaped by our experiences and they always change in some way. I found some things I thought were lame and learned it wasn’t and vice versa. I facepalm myself when I look back sometimes and I get afraid that maybe some people would use my early learning against me. It would be kind of silly if someone did because I was just a beginner. You can’t blame a novice for being wrong or changing their minds.

3. Faith in God...Or Something

I grew up a Jehova Whitness, then became atheist, then agnostic before returning back to my full belief in God, our heavenly father and in Jesus as my lord and savior. I might make a mistake here and there because I get passionate when I talk about God. But when you are a practicing spirituality, I learned you got to believe in SOMETHING. Anything; God(s), source, spirit, whatever. You need a spiritual team that will back you up, look out for you, to guide you. Again, I’m not saying that YOU have to but this was my experience. I needed to return to God and my belief in Him. It became important for me to develop a relationship with God and I’ve have long talks with him and he’s taught me so much while I was struggling. He’s not been vocal and I still know he’s always around. He’s kind of watching because he’s said what he needed. He’s like a real no-nonsense parental figure. The Book of Job is my favorite story and when I lost everything. I remembered it and one by one, the things I’ve lost were replaced. LITERALLY replaced. New things were being given to me. It happened because before these happened I loved God. I loved him while I was suffering and I continue to love Him now in my best year in a long time. 

God told me these things would happen; that everything I lost will come back with ease. Sure enough the last part of my wishes, getting approved for Disability was the most important. I could have given up on the process but this time (I tried to apply years ago and gave up) pulled through and was thankful from the start. I can’t begin to say how much I love God and that I wish everyone could have the kind of relationship I have with Him. No one has the right to judge my relationship for they don’t know until they truly accept God for what he is.

4. Take what people say with a grain of salt.

As I said, some people have the tendency to come off like they have all the answers. They are speaking from their personal experience and what they grabbed off others. That’s good and all that they have an open mind but it’s your life and your experience that matters. You can agree because you have the same experience but at the end of the day we still don’t have all the answers. I don’t call myself a guru and I don’t follow “gurus”. They don’t know me or my life experience. So there is nothing they can share with me other than theories and they don’t need to be taken seriously. Spiritual journey’s are PERSONAL. The bible says that we should pray in private. Again, not saying this is truth but suggesting that we should keep our spiritual journeys, our own. Our paths are designed for us and to accept someones personal experience as truth is pretty much telling yourself you don’t trust your own judgement. Thats when you are giving your power off to other people. Think for yourself, formulate your own opinions or theories and don’t feel the need to shove it down someone’s throat.

5. Protect yourself!

Do what you feel comfortable with. Wear what you want, do your rituals, or prayers. Know and feel in your heart that you are protected in all ways and always. When we get on a spiritual path, we are now sensitive, I feel. It’s easy to be pulled into darkness or soak up bad vibes from someone else. Negativity is like a demon. The more you focus on bullshit, the more bullshit you will find. Listening to uplifting music and prayer always works for me. I found myself doing this so much while I was homeless and in shelters because people in these situations can be pretty bad. Shelters are filled with negative energy, and hospitals can be a mixed bag. This was my experience. Mainly, it’s shelters that creeped me out. That was when my talks with God were at the most frequent. 

If you feel scared, take a few minutes to do what makes you feel comfortable. When you feel better, know and feel it in your heart that you are protected. There’s nothing capable of hurting you. You are strong and powerful and always loved.

I really hope what I said made sense. Feel free to give me your thoughts. I would appreciate it a lot! 💗

[anothertimdrakestan]

Set In Stone - Losing It All

The big finale! 

If this is the first of this series you’re seeing click HEREI put a read more so these don’t eat up my entire blog! Enjoy <3

“I’ll do it! I’m a hero I have powers doesn’t that count! Plus it would ruin Tim and Bart for the rest of their lives, pick me.” You sat up straight as Azores stopped for a moment to think. “Ah, it would be just too good for you to know you tried, can’t have you conscious free can we! So, I suppose you can have a swig, but let’s make the boys watch shall we?” In seconds Tim and Bart were trapped by a multitude of plants but were coming out of their daze. Azores waltzed up to you, handing you the vial. “Anything you don’t drink goes to one of your precious boys” you nodded, looking at Tim one last time. Your ears were ringing so you couldn’t hear Bart screaming apologies or Tim begging for Azores to let him drink the poison.

Before you could lift the drink to your lips a blinding flash of light interrupted you, and two figures appeared next to you, one of which smacked the vial to the ground. “Ooh girl we are too pretty to die so young!” one squealed and the other had Azores crumpling to the ground just with her stare. You looked up to meet the one who had just saved you in the eyes and a mirror imagine of you stared back. “Dude I am so proud! Dad’s gonna be wowed that we still found a way to be a hero even in this shitshow!” she bet down, mumbling something about rewriting the future then everything holding you down disappeared into thin air. 

The other carbon copy of you was chastising Azores, “I cannot believe you would use your abilities for evil! Do you not know that you’re gonna lead heroes against the mode someday? Not with these nasty ass vines and shit, but I can help you with that!” You watched in awe as she placed her hands on her temple, just like you do when you’re using your powers, and she said “Azores Ivy I’m rewriting your future, taking away your abilities until you learn their true purpose. Now leave” Azores shakily stood up, clenching her fists trying to summon her powers but there truly was nothing there. 

“Holy shit am I high?” Bart squeaked at one of your look alikes. “No babe- I mean Bart, you’re just fine!” The other Y/N shot her a dirty look, “no flirting with this world’s Bart do you see me going after Tim? No ma’am!” they laughed a little while your head spun. 

Freed from your restraints you sprung up, rushing to Tim and Bart while your twins followed you. “Y/N why would you try to sacrifice yourself for us! What were you thinking?!” Tim cupped your cheek trying to scold you through the happy tears cascading down his cheeks. “She did it because she’s a hero. She knew the future was more important than her own life, that’s what makes her one of us” A Y/N came up beside you and began explaiining, “you know this subconsciously so I’m only here to unlock it but just let me explain then it will all make sense” she placed a hand on the side of your head, and images flashed before your eyes as she narrated. 

“Fate, our lovely father gave his gifts to his three children, Past, Present, and Future, I’m sure it’s easy to guess who is who. Each verson of his three children take care of their earth, securing it’s place in the multiverse using the powers he has given each of us. For the future it’s a power that should only be in the hands of a selfless hero, a person willing to give it all for the best of world. So, Fate set up a test, a series of decisions that would weed out the deserving Future’s from the one’s who were too selfish to be able to change the world around them. You heard me right, change the future. We work with Past and Present to determine the parts of life that have to happen then it is our jobs to make the tweaks happen, thus fufilling Fate’s wishes. This world was set up in a way that Fate deemed unfair, he felt he didn’t give you enough choice but you found a selfless way out, so we’re here to unlock the rest of your abilities.”

The information hit you like a bus. Tim and Bart were asking a million questions but the other Y/N stopped them. “The future is never set in stone, you have to be willing to risk your life to change it though, which means it’s time you tweak your future girl!” You dove into the future, noticing how what once seemed stuck forever now seemed maluable and fixable. You moved to the future that promised the death of one of your best friends. To undo the future felt like pulling apart knots and leaving the string ready to be weaved with new decisions. As you unraveled the last knot you watched the two imagines of your weddings fade slowly until they were gone, the only thing truly set in stone was the ability to choose and change, it was far more comfoting than the impending doom. 

“I think I did it” you whispered, pulling yourself back to reality realizing your head didn’t pound with pain like it used to. “Welcome to the future, Future” the multiverse Y/N smiled at you. Tim and Bart were safe at your side, each being flirted with by one of your multiverse copies. “Well, we did it! Can I go back to my Bart now?” the two turned to you, preparing to leave. “Remember you can come hang anytime! This was fun, you free next month? I heard there’s an Earth where everyone is dressed in the 90s and Conner Kent is supposed to be really hot and Fate can’t come after three of us right!” you agreed to coffee, your mind barely comprehending that there was a multidide of you’s running around defending their Barts and Tims, but you finally felt at peace, like the final puzzle piece had been slid into place. 

“Dude that Y/N was totally into me!” Bart exclaimed after they’d left, it was just you, Tim, and Bart. “Bro you have the worst taste in girls, Azores literally almost killed us” Tim groaned. “Yeah but now if I die Y/N can just fix the future up!” Bart grinned, “that’s not how it works B, I make little tweaks to smooth out the timeline, pretty sure I can’t just rewrite in an entire human!” you laughed, imagining the kind of tying and untying you’d have to do. “At least we’re all here!” Tim squeezed your hand. “Don’t run off and fall in love with aanother hero okay? Fate or not I want you with me” you blushed as Tim stared at you with nothing but love as Bart faked a gag. “Nothing is set in stone” you teased Tim as he pouted, “kidding love bird, you know you’re my future!” you poked Tim. “Oh my god Y/N tell me who I’m gonna marry!” Bart interrupted your moment with Tim. “Again Bart, not really the purpose of my powers.”

“So then what do you even do with them?!?”

“I don’t think I fully know yet, but I’ve finally got a hell of a lot of time to find out”

~and that’s the end! I loved making this I really hope you enjoyed! Be sure if this was your first time to give it another go! If it was your first time you made some damn good choices! Go watch Bart die or something you deserve it you selfless wonder! Anyways, thank you for giving this series a go, it means a lot to me. If you have any feedback be sure to send me a message anon or not idc! <333 ~

[yoong-i]

this was supposed to be a fav D-2 lyrics post but it just somehow turned into me rambling my thoughts about D-2 in regard to life and what he’s said in the interviews so far

So I started this and then my computer decided to restart and I lost all of it. And then when I finally finished it and hit save draft one last time, Tumblr stopped working. So if you see anything formatted weirdly, let me know. The universe was against me on this one.

As always, all translators are linked. Check them out and give them credit, they’re great at what they do. Sometimes they update things, so I really do recommend checking out the links to see if they’ve made any updates since I’ve posted.

I love Yoongi’s writing a lot, so I tend to get a bit wordy. I’d say I’m sorry but really, me doing these lyric posts is entirely self-indulgent so, I’m not.

(OK. I wrote that part before I finished and YIKES this ended up being SO LONG I am SORRY)

I want to point out some of the obvious references first that I know everyone on the internet has already figured out, but as I’ve said, idc. I like to have things in one place so I can look back at it. These ones don’t need much explanation, I feel, so I’m just gonna leave them here. Credits for these are with their songs down below.

“If you think you’re gonna crash, accelerate even harder, you idiot” 

From Moonlight, but also Intro: Never Mind, which is just so Yoongi to me. I think that song gives you an accurate picture of him.

“I got a big house big car big ring, bring anything over, I’ll give it to you” 

From What do you think?, and then No More Dream, Home, and Interlude: Shadow. This gif set breaks the references down nicely. It’s interesting to see the different tones he takes when referencing this line. I think Interlude: Shadow is my favorite, but really, I’m just biased to that song and they’re all truly great.

“I’m a king, I’i m a boss” 

Daechwita to Interlude: Shadow (I am sorry that this song is all I ever talk about all the time). I can’t remember if he references wanting to be the king/top in other songs, and I’m too lazy to check right now. So I’m going to go with no unless someone would like to correct me, I don’t mind.

There’s also the Burn It/Outro: Tear references that are just too much to copy and paste, really. I’m sure an argument can be made that it’s the whole song being referenced, but to me, this is the obvious part being referenced from Outro: Tear:

“Right, it’s there, what are you hesitating for? This is the end you wanted I hope you kill quickly without hesitation Woo yeah yeah burn it, woo yeah yeah yeah burn it, woo yeah yeah yeah burn it So that not even ashes are left. This is the real you and this is the real me We’ve now seen the end and there are not even resentments left Awake now from sweet dreams, I close my eyes This is the real you and this is the real me“

~~

While I didn’t list a lyric from Interlude: Set Me Free, I just want to say that I do really love this song, but there just aren’t many lyrics in it. Additionally, I’m not sure what exactly he’s saying he wants to be set free from, and so it doesn’t feel right to make an assumption about the lyrics. (Which is kinda bothering me, not in an annoyed way, but more or less just nagging at me.) But really, I love any interlude from Yoongi. Set Me Free sounds so beautiful and so calming and I wish the bird chirping didn’t drive my cat so crazy so I could enjoy it more.

~~

“Changes are fated to happen to everyone, perhaps, how we change is what our undertaking is about.”

Moonlight. I’ve said this before, but I really do love a good lyric about growing and changing and this mixtape definitely has a lot of it. I think it is interesting that he talks about change like this in the opening song, and then he talks about change in Dear my friend, which is much different given the tone of that whole song. Here, in the very first song, he poses the idea of “change is good, depending how you change” and then delves into a mixtape that discusses “the present” of his life (he tells Billboard in this article that this mixtape is about the present), which I find interesting. I’ll try to touch on it more in Dear my friend.

//

“What’s after this?  Feeling a strong feeling of reality check, a situation where there’s no higher. I had only looked up, now I just wanna look down and gently land.”

Daechwita. Yes, Interlude: Shadow AGAIN (as your local Shadow enthusiast, it only makes sense I pick a lyric that connects.) Although he says don’t let me down in Shadow, in that song I take it more as “I want to come down but I’m terrified of what’s gonna happen.” Where Shadow is more desperate, the tone of Daechwita is definitely more confident. Plus he has that whole mad king thing going for him (and then the whole killing the mad king thing) which Muish discusses wonderfully in the translation I linked.

This is another thing I love about Yoongi and his lyrics. He’s discussing the same thing in the lines of these different songs, but you get to witness these two battling personas when it comes to the topic. And I guess that is the point of there being a difference between Suga and Agust D, but I do wonder where Yoongi falls between these two. He lets you see his struggle and that’s why I love his writing. (I also love that for this song he says focus more on the visual and auditory enjoyment than the lyrics. The video really does tell a good story.)

//

“Crazy that you’d think that my success has a connection to your failure.”

“I have no fucking interest in those who ask whether idol music is music.”

What do you think? The idol lyric may seem like a weird choice, but as a long time boyband stan I’m so over the way artists who were/are in boybands get disregarded for their talent. I’ve come to realize I just need to stop caring whether or not they are socially accepted by “others” and just enjoy what music they are choosing to share with me and those who support them.

I don’t have much to say about the success lyric. It’s just Yoongi being his usual self and I love it.

//

“Capital injects morphine called hope with dream as collateral“

The first time I read this I did a double take. Much to unpack here, but I think that is even beyond me. Interpret it as you please.

“The one who has his eyes open in the world that has its eyes closed — now they make him blind, isn’t it strange.” 

Namjoon has a similar lyric later, but rather than the second half of Yoongi’s lyric, Joon says “that he has his eyes open alone is so much more strange for me” and I love the contrast between the two. Very on brand too.

“But still, life goes on, somehow, just like this, everyone, in their own chicken coop, says they’re okay.”

Strange. I had to stop myself because it is very hard to just not copy and paste the whole freakin song. I love anything these two create together as they are two of the most wonderful lyricists I have ever seen. Going off of that, this song is very reminiscent of Respect for me. Do yourself a favor and just sit down and read through these lyrics (Strange, but also I always recommend Respect). Songs like these make me wish I was a fly on the wall for conversations between these two.

//

“People change, just as I have, there’s nothing eternal about life, they’re all happenings that pass by”

“Did someone say humans are the animals of wisdom? The way I see it, humans are the animals of regret”

People. I love this song a lot (and NOT just because he sounds like an angel in it...) Despite that, I’m not sure why but I found myself stuck on what he was trying to say with this song as a whole. I enlisted my best friend for help and she gave me some good insight and one of the things she said was “good can come out of living each day like it means something.” While I didn’t see this song as inherently negative, I don’t think I was viewing the song in a way that would have allowed me to see this silver lining. I saw it as more cynical I guess?

//

“Tomorrow will come and go once again, this kind of me, that kind of you are both simply enduring the day, I guess.”

Honsool. Time isn’t real. Am I writing this at 2 o’clock in the morning when I should be asleep? Maybe so. But time isn’t real and the days come and go and we’re all just enduring. I like the word choice there. Not surviving, or getting by, or living. We’re enduring.

//

“I grow older and become to know the world, and yet, would it have been better to not know the world?”

Ignorance is bliss. Kinda. This lyric actually reminded me of Nightmare by Halsey, one part specifically: “'Cause kindness is weakness, or worse, you're complacent, I could play nice or I could be a bully, I'm tired and angry, but somebody should be” And like. Yeah. Would I rather be ignorant to all the world’s problems and not give a shit about anything just to be happy, or should I let myself succumb to believing in cynicism for the sake of the world and caring about things? I used a different translation for this lyric than I did for the other two lyrics in 28.

“To live, live, live just one day without any worries, just one day without any concerns.” 

“I thought it’d change when I turned twenty, I thought it’d change when I graduated, Shit, if I’m thirty like this, this, And so, so, what’s changed with me?”

28. This was another one of those where I had to stop and tell myself, Ahna, please do not copy every lyric. But, just know that I wanted to. We spend so many of our days looking forward because we are so displeased with where we are currently at (reminder: this mixtape is about the present.) There’s the constant thought of “once I achieve this thing, it’ll be better!” We’ve all done it, I’ve done it, and I truly hate it. The difference here is you have someone like Yoongi, who is at the top, who has it “all” and he is still stuck in this mindset. Oh, also, hi he’s talking about change again. 

//

“[Always], the choice and decision is yours to make. I hope you don’t forget that giving up decisively also counts as courage.”

Burn It. It is now 4am and Burn It just came on shuffle and I’ve been staring at this lyric for a bit too long, hating my 2pm fully conscious self for choosing this one and leaving writing about it for last. This lyric is existential crisis content. I don’t think I’ve ever in my life heard someone talk about giving up in this way. Giving up can be so powerless, but thinking about giving up in this way not only restores power, but also praises you for being able to make such a decision bold decision for yourself. Makes you think a lot about Yoongi and how he turned out the way he has.

Yoongi reiterated a similar thought in the interview with TIME: “It’s good to know that it’s fine when things go in an unintended direction, because you can always start over again. Keep calm, take the next-best option and move forward.” And this translator also points out another instance, just a month before he dropped his mixtape, of him saying basically the same thing again to one of the listeners on his Live who said they gave up their dream: “I don’t know what circumstances you were in, but I think you must have had tremendous courage. Giving something up decisively takes lots of courage. And, you’ve worked hard.” Like, is he trying to make me cry? 

//

“Was it you who changed? Or was it me? I hate this flowing time, it's us who changed.”

Dear my friend. First, in regard to the lyric itself, there are so many friendships we look back on, ruined or not, and wonder whose fault it was. Maybe even blame them if it’s easier. While it does vary by friendship, I do think it’s important to step back and question our place in it all going wrong, and how we have changed as well. The “I hate this flowing time, it's us who changed” reminds me of how sometimes there truly is nothing you can do when it comes to changing and growing apart from people. It’s not your fault, it’s not my fault, we have changed in ways we both needed to and we are not compatible anymore. I do think the overarching theme in Dear my friend is different from this, however.

I was not expecting this song at all. I think a lot of stuff Yoongi writes is very open and vulnerable, but this song really took me by surprise because it’s a different kind of open. This song will make you miss friendships and people that went downhill, wondering what more you could have done for them. Why he gotta do me like this.

Going back to the thought I posed in Moonlight, in Dear my friend we witness a change that just... isn’t good. Aside from that, on an album which is supposedly all about the present of his life, this song is not. Maybe it is present because it is something that still clearly bothers him, and something, or rather someone, he thinks about a lot, but I still find it interesting. Maybe it was just a sentiment he felt he really needed to get out. 

He talks about change a lot on this album, yet when they ask him in the D-2 interviews (TIME/Billboard) about how he feels things have changed since the last mixtape, he says he doesn’t feel his life really changed.

If you listen to Intro: Never Mind, he says the only thing he feels that’s different about him is his height, and that he’s mature compared to people his age. That must be very grounding, feeling that despite the whirlwind of his life and fame he is still the same person he’s always been. And then again, 5 years later in 2020, the only change he mentions about himself is that he’s matured. I guess “matured” can be taken different ways, especially in regard to the way he talks about growth on this album. But I respect and admire him talking about himself like this. I appreciate the introspection and I take maturing in this context as a positive thing. I take it as him growing in good ways, becoming better versions of himself, which I feel shows in the art he produces. 

One more thought, and it goes back to the interviews. Yoongi told TIME “what’s good is good” is his philosophy. I think back to 28 and People, and the drastic difference between his life and mine, or as he would say, the difference between our ordinaries and extraordinaries, yet we both have the same bad habits and worries about the future.  

Yoongi seems like a walking hazard sign for wanting more or too much, warning of it not being better and it being lonely to have “everything” you want. Considering how simple the phrase “what’s good is good” is, I have spent too long thinking about it in relation to all of this. He uses it in People when talking about the average ordinary life. In the new Break the Silence docu-series, he talks about not being able to do ordinary things like go out for a coffee or to the movies. It is once again his reminder, things are not better up there. You will still struggle. Be content with what you have. If it’s good, its good, and what’s good is good. Let it be. 

~~

This felt like a good ending note, and then I remembered Billboard asked him, “What is a line or thought you share on D-2 you want listeners to be left thinking about?“ And this was his answer:

“So what, if we live like that, so what My distinction is your ordinary My ordinary is your distinction”

I thought it was funny that I somehow ended this by talking about the one thing he wanted to leave us thinking about. Mission accomplished Yoongi.

~~

In regard to raising questions about norms and how we live, Yoongi said he just merely wanted to raise the question mark - not provide the answers - and boy did he here. I will be thinking about this all for a while. This took me so much longer to write than intended, mostly just because I wasn’t expecting to feel so strongly about all the songs.  Thank you for the art honey my dude.

[myazavier]

First of all this is so wild yall this acc is a bastardisation of my deadname (based on some nickname but spelt wrong) but hi ig I'm back to rant.

I'm just so sick n tired of my parents and I just feel so bad when I see them emotionally neglecting my brother. they've just had another kid n they have just started w the barrage of "shut up idc that you're upset" and he just wants his mum to give him the attention she gave him before. but they won't. and I can't stop feeling guilty for it, as if I can fix anything. I'm still a fucking kid but I have the intense need to make sure he doesn't end up how I did. that he feels loved. they act surprised when he acts the way they raised him to. they've already started the "stop that you're not a child!" as if he isn't a 6 year old. but why is it my fault? why do I have to pick up the slack? this is one of the most important academic years of my fucking life. and I now also feel guilty for not being a pseudo parent

quite frankly I'm just sick and tired. I'm sick of my dad already thinking I've had my 18th birthday. any other birthday I'd not really care. hes never been very present, why would he know how old I am? but he didn't even remember whether his oldest child was a legal adult yet. and then I'm the issue for being upset about it. I'm sick about the fact that I can never say this ever to anyone in school despite literally treating my physics teacher as a pseudo mom figure, because I know the potential safeguarding fallout. I don't even know if I'm a safeguarding issue anymore. am I telling everyone too much? am I too much? ugh that's just my mentally ill thoughts again just I thought I was doing okay.

I really thought I was doing well. but ig nothing can ever change. I'm still fucking traumatised. because when will I ever not be. its not like they're ever going to get better. it's not like I'm not going to be unable to walk and then get told off when I agree to accepting things people offer bc I'm "selfish" for being,,, yknow,,, too disabled to put weight on my leg rn. and then given the things but in a way that still makes me feel awful. and I'm just sick and tired

and they're just fucking sick. who treats a child like this? who decides that this is how you act? I never got a fucking childhood. I didn't know how to talk to people until fucking ages 12 because noone talked to me as a child. I was a fucking cunt. and hurt people. and got hurt. and yknow what, who else can I blame it on? if I got better n treat people better, clearly I just wasn't taught how to act. and whose fault is that? the parents who did the exact same thing they're doing to my brother to me. caring for (rather than 6, 2) and then tossing me aside for the next tiny thing to come along n be loved.

I spose the one good thing about this is that I can feel again. I have the ability to *feel* the traumatic event when it happens. I have the ability to feel my parents slowly chip away at me as a person and deal w it that day. which feels like a backhanded achievement. my brain has decided I'm strong enough to see the reality of where I am. and I hate it

but hey. 1 year to freedom. 1 year til I move out to uni and I can live away from them. they can't hurt me if they can't interact with me, right? it's really the only thing keeping me holding on

[acuppellarp]

We’re excited to announce that Jeanne has decided to level up Haley Sterling from a mumu minor character to a main character! Please go through the checklist to make sure you’re ready to go and send in your account within the next 24 hours. 

OOC INFO

Name + pronouns: Jeanne Age: 24 Timezone: EST Ships: Haley/Chemistry, Haley/Nerdiness Anti-Ships: Haley/NoChem

IC INFO

Full Name: Haley Nicole Sterling Face Claim: Virginia Gardner Age/Birthday: 22 / September 17, 1995 Occupation: Social work student at NYU, gymnast at NYC Ultra Gymnastics Center, telemarketer Personality: Competitive, impulsive, determined, naive, ditzy Hometown: San Francisco, CA Bio:

Oh, the Sterling family. If there was ever a group more fitted for a reality TV show on TLC, it was them. That’s how an outsider would see it, at least. For Haley, it was just her family. The first few years of her life were spent loving her parents and little sister, and then her second mom and her second dad came into the picture. Whenever she went over to her friends houses growing up, they introduced her to their parents. Haley did the same, it just so happened she had a few more parents than them. It wasn’t the picture that she saw on TV, but that didn’t really matter. She had a family that loved and doted on her, that’s what mattered. She was an incredibly content child - set her out in the backyard to run around and play, and she was a happy camper. Or set her up in her bedroom, playing with her little sister (once upon a time, Jemma really did play with barbie dolls properly). She was content, and she was friendly, always running up to strangers and asking if they wanted to be her friend. Needless to say, her parents had to have the stranger danger talk with her more times than she can count, but the fact remains that Haley has always been a people person, easily able to settle into a crowd.

Dedication isn’t a word many people would associate with Haley even today, and it never has been. She comes across as having her head in the clouds 9 times out of 10 and she wasn’t exactly a contender for valedictorian. She’s not the person you to go if you’re looking for reliability, and that’s why a lot of people are thrown off when they find out she’s been honing her skills as a gymnast since the age of 4. It wasn’t some kind of “love at first sight” moment, where Haley knew she wanted to make it her life from day one. On the contrary, she remembers crying in frustration when she couldn’t get a somersault down as easily as the other kids in her class (granted it was within the first week of classes, but Haley’s child mind didn’t care about that).

That’s why it was so invigorating when she finally nailed it by week two… Haley’s never been known for her patience, you see, but the one thing she’s got going for her is that she doesn’t quit. She doesn’t quit because of that same excitement she got when she perfected that first somersault right, followed by her first cartwheel, her first handstand, mastering her first forward tuck and everything over the next few years as she climbed up the levels. She was 8 years old, level 9, when she got her first first place award on the uneven bars, subsequently helping her team take home the win as well. That, my friends, is when Haley fell in love with the sweet taste of victory.

There wasn’t time for Haley to ever cultivate many other areas of extracurricular interest. She’d arrive at school an hour before classes started to make use of the gym’s empty weight room for strength and conditioning, and immediately after school she would make her way down to the gymnastics center for more hours worth of practice. Her dedication and prowess in the sport are what helped her lock in a scholarship offered by NYC Ultra, a gymnastics club located not too far away from NYU’s campus. The school itself didn’t have a gymnastics program, but NYC Ultra had scouted her during her final meet during high school and offered to help fund her higher education if she joined their team upon moving. And its a good thing they did, because her grades certainly wouldn’t be earning her any academic scholarships.

Leaving her family had her balling like a baby, but Haley found herself settling in to New York City life eventually. It was a much different pace than San Francisco, that was for sure. Still, Haley prides herself on never really feeling like a fish out of water, especially since she quickly made friends with the other members of her gym and then at school. Social work is a demanding field and it can come as somewhat of a shock that the ditzy blonde chose it as her major, but Haley doesn’t understand the surprise. She grew up in a very unconventional family that, despite the tribulations and disruptions later on, was filled with love for the most part. Haley wants to help ensure that other people get to experience that same level of love and support in whatever way she can, or at the very least bring them a sense of safety. It helps that she is actually able to focus on her major work better than she ever could her high school and general education credits.

See, the thing with Haley is that if she isn’t interested in something, it falls to the wayside. But once she finds her passion and groove, she is all in. That’s the reason why she can’t sit through an algebra class without daydreaming, but she’ll give you a point-by-point breakdown of why Laurie Hernandez should’ve taken the gold for the Women’s balance beam during the 2016 Olympics, or make an entire PowerPoint on why Digimon trumps Pokemon (she’s still gotta catch ‘em all though, make no mistake). She knows what she loves and doesn’t waste her time or energy on things that won’t end up bringing her personal happiness and fulfillment. Is that a good way to be successful in life? Probably not, but has it helped Haley get through the last 24 years with minimal sadness and reason to say she didn’t give something her all? Absolutely, 100%, a thousand times yes.

Pets: Haley has had iced coffees last longer than some goldfish. She’s pretty much given up on trying to keep any kind of pet alive at this point, so instead she has her bedroom windowsill decorated with succulents. They’re less likely to ruin her carpet and lose her her deposit.

Relationships:

Jemma Sterling — She’s the first person to admit that Jemma is far from perfect, but she’ll also attempt to rip anyone’s head off who dares insult or undersell her baby sister. Watch it, folks. Haley adores Jemma, even if she does worry her from time to time with just how… we’ll say just how “free” she can be. It’s probably not the best idea, but she trusts Jemma wholeheartedly. In a way, Haley is a little envious of how open her sister is with everything, but that’s a story for another time. She still loves her to the moon and back and then to the moon and back again.

EXTRA INFO

mmmhalebop ☄️ / HaleyStorm / I’m secretly the fourth member of Hanson:

Five latest tweets:

@HaleyStorm: @marvelstudios pls call my insurance company and tell them you’ll cover the surgery to have the heart you ripped out of my chest replaced @HaleyStorm: manny santos hiking up her thong will always be iconic #whateverittakes @HaleyStorm: #gymnastsecret - if you see me hold a position on the bar too long, it’s bc i 100% blanked on the rest of the routine @HaleyStorm: is crimped hair still in style?? asking for a friend @HaleyStorm: update - i am that friend and idc. get ready to see me rocking lizzie mcguire hair today #ifoundcolorfulextensionstoo